FH Mini 63 - The Peach Pit

Stuart Wellington

[0:00] Hey! Welcome to the Peach Pit, the number one show about the original peaches and their home, the Flophouse podcast.

[0:10] Today we're going to be talking about Flophouse episode 378, The Amityville in Space.

[0:17] That's not the actual title, it's just Amityville in Space.

[0:20] But before we get into that, today we are joined by two amazing guests.

[0:24] That's right, we are joined by two of the original peaches, Dan McCoy and Elliot Kalin.

[0:29] Hey guys, thanks so much for joining us.

Elliott Kalan

[0:31] Hey, thanks for having us.

[0:33] Thank you so much, yeah, thank you so much for having us.

[0:36] Dan can be the wary one and I'll be the one who goes wholeheartedly into this bit.

Stuart Wellington

[0:40] I know you guys are super excited.

[0:42] I don't know if you're familiar with our show, but we're an after show where we listen, chat, talk, review, all the stuff about our favorite podcast, The Flophouse.

[0:53] And of course, because you're here, we're so excited because you guys are two of the three hosts of that show, The Flophouse.

[0:59] Obviously, me, Stuart Wellington, I'm also the third host.

[1:02] Okay.

[1:03] It's not that important.

Dan McCoy

[1:04] I was going to say I was sorry that you couldn't get Stuart here today.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06] No, I'm here.

[1:08] I'm Stuart.

[1:09] Dan, we're friends.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11] It's weird you wouldn't recognize someone you've been doing a podcast with for 15 years.

Dan McCoy

[1:14] The reality of – I feel the floor of my reality just like dropping from beneath me.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20] Yeah, it's sickening for a second until you just go with it.

[1:24] And then we all float down here.

[1:26] So the important –

[1:27] Dan, as long as you're hailing the new flesh, I think it'll be fine.

[1:29] I think right up top, let's talk about the biggest thing in the episode.

[1:34] That's right, 15 years, guys.

[1:36] What do you think?

[1:37] Did you ever expect that in 15 years of doing the podcast – I know it's been a little bit less for you, Elliot.

[1:43] Yeah, yeah.

[1:44] But 15 years of doing the podcast, you would be reviewing Amityville in space.

Elliott Kalan

[1:50] I would say 15 years ago, if you said, Elliot, 15 years from now, you'd be reviewing Amityville in space.

[1:55] I would say, am I?

[1:57] Okay, I don't think so.

[1:59] Is that a movie?

[2:00] And they said, it will be.

[2:01] And I would say, what are the things we need to know about the future?

[2:03] And the person would say, oh, don't you wish you knew?

[2:10] That seems really mean of you.

[2:11] Yeah, man makes plans.

[2:12] Elliot laughs.

[2:13] It seems like you should –

[2:14] No, I'm not the one who was laughing.

[2:15] That was God.

[2:16] This is the strange traveler from the future, a god of sorts.

[2:19] Some call him God.

[2:20] Other calls him the devil.

[2:21] It's a whole duality thing.

Stuart Wellington

[2:24] So, Dan, it has been 15 years for you as you are the creator, founder, genius behind the flop house.

[2:32] Yeah, yeah.

[2:32] So, yeah.

[2:33] So, yeah.

[2:33] How do you feel about this little house you've constructed?

Dan McCoy

[2:37] Yeah, I guess I feel good.

[2:41] I mean, like, it's definitely – I did not expect actual success when I started it, I have to say.

[2:49] So, I feel good about it.

[2:50] What did you expect?

[2:52] I don't know.

[2:52] Look, I was throwing a lot of stuff against the wall back then trying to, like, figure out how to make some kind of showbiz career.

[3:02] And I guess that's what happened.

Elliott Kalan

[3:03] I made some kind of showbiz career.

[3:06] You had an animated web series.

[3:08] Let's not forget the feces you were throwing against the wall.

[3:10] I don't know how that was going to help, but, you know.

[3:12] That was frustration mostly.

Stuart Wellington

[3:13] You might not have expected success, but, boy, you have found it.

[3:16] Because according to Instagram user Nikki in Wonderland, the flop house is the best movie podcast.

[3:24] Unbelievable chemistry between the three of you.

[3:26] But please bring back Hallie.

[3:28] Unfortunately, we couldn't get Hallie.

[3:30] Maybe on the next episode of the Peach Pit.

[3:33] I mean, she will be on the show soon.

[3:35] Yeah, of course she will.

Elliott Kalan

[3:37] Should we tease it or should we just say, like, next month?

Stuart Wellington

[3:40] We'll get to teasing later on in the episode, guys.

[3:43] Don't rush through this.

[3:44] I don't get to rap with you guys that often.

[3:48] Only once a week.

[3:50] So, as we always start off the Peach Pit, we have a special segment called Was It a Hot One?

[3:57] Where we listen to the intro of the show and we decide, was it a hot one or not?

[4:01] So, let's just peep this little peeper.

[4:04] On this episode, we discuss Amityville in space.

[4:11] To be clear, we're still on Earth.

[4:14] It's Amityville that's in space.

Dan McCoy

[4:16] Well, technically, we're all in space, Stuart.

[4:18] What the?

Stuart Wellington

[4:21] Okay.

[4:22] Was it a hot one?

Dan McCoy

[4:25] I mean, I like that Alex picked up on the Pigs in Space thing I was doing and added the reverb to it.

[4:33] You know, and he's been trying some new stuff with those intros, like letting some of the music run while we yap.

[4:40] I'd say the only thing missing from that intro was Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[4:43] Yeah.

[4:43] I think that's – I mean, I thought it was a hot intro, but I think the thing – keeping it from being blistering is that I wasn't there.

Stuart Wellington

[4:49] Oh, wow.

[4:49] So, this is actually really exciting for me because normally when I do this segment, I don't have you here.

[4:56] So, what would you have said?

[5:00] Not to put you on the spot here.

Elliott Kalan

[5:02] What would your hot one have been?

[5:04] I mean, it's the same spot that we're usually in because we kind of make them up on the spur of the moment.

[5:08] Wow.

[5:09] You just heard that here, folks.

Stuart Wellington

[5:10] News.

[5:11] This is how they do it every time.

Elliott Kalan

[5:13] In a way, in a way, I'm so used to interrupting you guys that not interrupting you and just letting that bit play out was a creative choice.

[5:19] So, I kind of was in that intro.

[5:21] That's true.

[5:22] In a way.

Elliott Kalan

[5:22] That's true.

Stuart Wellington

[5:23] Sometimes the best acting is just reacting.

[5:25] So, not quite a hot one, but kind of a hot one, says L.A. Kalin.

[5:29] And, of course –

[5:29] I think it's – you know what?

[5:31] I'm upgrading it to volcanic.

Elliott Kalan

[5:32] It's as hot as you can get.

[5:33] Wow.

[5:34] Smoking, somebody stop me.

Stuart Wellington

[5:36] Smoking like aces.

Elliott Kalan

[5:39] If your aces are smoking, please call the Hoyle Company and complain.

[5:43] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[5:43] Stop playing your Texas Hold'em or whatever it is, you know.

[5:47] Drop those.

[5:48] Don't hold them.

[5:48] Yeah.

[5:49] Drop those cards.

Stuart Wellington

[5:50] Okay.

[5:51] So, obviously, we had this episode begin with a little bit of joking around.

[5:57] You know, it was stacked full of stories about going to Ikea, meatballs, et cetera, et cetera.

[6:03] And then Dan actually gives us a new introduction description of the show describing the Flophouse as movie investigators.

[6:11] Of course, his description was immediately interrupted by Elliot Kalin and the appearance of a brand new Flophouse character.

[6:18] Let's listen.

Dan McCoy

[6:20] It comes out four times a month.

[6:22] Two of those times are episodes like this one where we talk about a bad movie.

[6:26] Watch a bad movie.

[6:27] We talk about it.

[6:28] Or, you know, sometimes it's not bad, but the word on the street is it might be.

[6:32] You know, we hear a lot of rumors.

[6:34] We're kind of like movie investigators.

[6:37] Yeah, we go down to the shoeshine boy.

Elliott Kalan

[6:39] And we go, you hear about any bad movies there, Curly?

[6:42] And he goes, I don't know.

[6:43] Maybe I've seen a bad movie.

[6:44] We hand him a 10.

[6:45] And he goes, all right, all right.

[6:46] There's a new bad movie coming out.

[6:48] It's called Amityville in Somewheres, but my memory is fuzzy.

[6:52] We hand him another 10.

[6:53] He goes, oh, yeah, now I remember space.

[6:55] Amityville in space.

[6:56] Yeah.

[6:57] Inflation.

Stuart Wellington

[6:57] Yeah, so that's it.

[6:59] The appearance of Curly, a.k.a.

[7:00] Bank Robber Spaghetti Jones.

[7:02] And I got another big surprise for our audience.

[7:05] Spaghetti Jones is here.

Elliott Kalan

[7:08] Yeah, I'm so excited to be with the On My Favorite podcast, The Peach Pit.

[7:12] I don't really listen to The Flophouse, but I do listen to The Peach Pit because I love the way you guys here just kind of like talk about The Flophouse.

[7:20] And it's much shorter.

[7:21] It's much shorter than listening to the whole episode.

[7:23] It saves me a lot of time.

Stuart Wellington

[7:24] Maybe not.

[7:25] You never know with this stacked cast.

[7:27] So, Curly, I'm so excited.

[7:31] That's my name.

[7:32] It's super exciting to find out that you're a listener, but you're not actually a fan of The Flophouse.

[7:36] Is it because you don't like movies or you just don't like the chemistry they have?

Elliott Kalan

[7:40] I find them to be a little irritating at times.

[7:44] I wish they'd talk more about the movies and less about kind of hijinks and nonsense.

[7:48] But at the same time, I also don't listen to a lot of movie podcasts because that's my business is kind of informing people about movies.

[7:54] And I like to keep my work and my pleasure separate, if you know what I mean.

Stuart Wellington

[7:58] Now, and I don't mean to call you out, but is this your first appearance on a podcast?

[8:02] No, I was on The Flophouse as you heard earlier.

[8:05] That's what I was meaning, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[8:06] Yeah, that's – oh, I thought you meant this one, me being on The Peach Pit right now.

[8:09] And I was like, no, this is my second appearance on a podcast, as you should know.

[8:13] Yeah, it's – no, that was my first time being on a podcast.

[8:16] And I just – but I love the medium, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[8:18] Oh, wow, you're a big fan.

[8:20] So you're a fan of podcasts in general.

[8:22] Do you have any other shows that you like, preferably shows on the Maximum Fun Network?

Elliott Kalan

[8:27] Yeah, you know, yeah, Joy and Jesse Go is a big one.

[8:29] And, you know, it's not on – it's not on – Judge Joy and Hodgman.

[8:32] But it's not on – it's not on Max Foon, but, you know, the 99% Invisitables.

[8:36] Those are pretty good.

[8:38] So perhaps I was wondering –

[8:40] I used to listen – yeah, yep.

[8:42] Oh, no, continue telling me about what podcasts you listen to.

[8:44] No, no, it's all right.

[8:45] We can talk – we can answer your questions.

[8:47] It's – you know, I got a lot of them just stacking ups on my iPhones.

[8:50] Sure.

[8:51] So I think what the – I mean, I think what the listeners –

[8:53] On the podcast, Earp.

Dan McCoy

[8:56] I remember so many interesting pronunciations before.

Elliott Kalan

[9:02] Now you're getting into it.

[9:05] Well, you know, my – you know, I had a speech and diction Twitter, and it was Popeye.

Stuart Wellington

[9:10] So –

[9:11] Makes sense.

[9:12] I've been combing through all the messages in the Peach Pit speech pack, messages from listeners, and they're dying to know what's next for – what's next for you, Curly?

[9:23] What's next for you, Spaghetti Jones?

Elliott Kalan

[9:25] Well, you know, it's going to be just like hitting back to the fundamentals, you know, bank robbing occasionally, shining shoes as a front for being a kind of a informant, you know, informant on the streets.

[9:36] Great.

[9:36] So I got to hit the streets and just find out what's going on with movies so I can inform people about them.

[9:41] Okay.

[9:42] And any plugs before you go?

[9:45] Not for me.

[9:46] I might start my own podcast.

[9:48] I think I'm going to call it Coily's Coiner.

[9:50] And it's, you know, just me talking about things I've seen, things I could maybe see if the right amount of money's crossed my palm.

[10:00] You know, a lot of the podcast is going to be just me being like, oh, I wish I could tell you about this thing, but I kind of don't remember what it's going on.

[10:06] Maybe hit the Patreon button, and perhaps I'll remember it for the next episode.

[10:11] Extortion.

Stuart Wellington

[10:12] Oh, that sounds great.

[10:13] Thank you so much for joining us, Curly, and let's get back to the rest of the show.

Elliott Kalan

[10:19] So.

[10:22] I was leaving an opening for station identification.

Dan McCoy

[10:25] Yeah, he was worried that the satellite feed to Curly to make sure it was cut off before we returned.

Stuart Wellington

[10:32] Now, this is also, this episode falls during the month of Small Timber slash Smallvember.

[10:38] And this is actually, we kind of, this episode breaks down the history and potentially the terrible future of Small Timber, Smallvember.

[10:48] Dan, how do you feel now that it's come to light that Smallvember is in part your doing?

[10:55] Are you fully on Team Smallvember to join the rest of the fold, or are you still a holdout?

Dan McCoy

[11:00] Come to light that it's my, I don't think it was ever any, in any doubt.

[11:06] I think if I, if you, if one recalls the Small Timber, Smallvember rift, it was that I mistakenly said Smallvember when, you know,

[11:17] coining the idea of like September will be our month of small movies.

[11:22] He admits it.

[11:22] And then you guys latched onto it, and then only after the fact, I'm like, oh, I suppose it should be Small Timber.

[11:28] I don't know what I was thinking.

[11:29] And as is often the case, you won't let one of my mistakes just, you know, go, like, give me the room to be a fallible human and just be like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[11:41] I prefer to think of it as celebrating your acts of creation.

Dan McCoy

[11:44] Yeah.

[11:44] And so now there's a, yeah, there's sex.

Elliott Kalan

[11:48] I know, Dan, I know, Dan, I know, Dan, I know, Dan, that you would rather be a modern day George Lucas and go back and fix what you think are problems with the original, which are really what people love about it.

[11:56] I see.

[11:57] But, you know, maybe you want to insert a scene with Jabba the Hutt that there's really no point for because just repeating information that was in the Greedo scene.

Dan McCoy

[12:04] But what if someone steps on his tail and his eyes bug out all funny?

Elliott Kalan

[12:08] Yeah.

[12:08] What if the power dynamic that's being established between Han Solo, smuggler afraid of his life, and Jabba the Hutt, Incredible Crime Lord, a member of the band, the Incredible Crime Lords.

[12:19] What if that was also a member of the family of the Incredibles?

[12:23] Yeah.

[12:23] What if that was just completely ignored and he stepped on his tail, thus having Han Solo, I guess, put Jabba in his place for a moment with no punishment whatsoever?

[12:33] Yeah.

[12:33] You want to do that kind of thing with small timber, small vember.

[12:36] And you're like, oh, I always meant it to be small timber.

[12:38] So I guess I'll go back and change it so that me as an old man is happy, even though it's making millions of fans around the world unhappy.

[12:45] That's how you feel about it?

[12:46] Yes.

[12:46] Well, Dan McCoy, you're not alone.

Stuart Wellington

[12:49] They're combing through the Peach Pit speech pack.

[12:53] There's plenty of other listeners, such as listener at FannyPatGirl84 on Instagram, who says, my vote is small timber.

[13:03] Fight me.

[13:04] So I guess I'm legally required to fight this person.

[13:09] Yeah.

[13:11] So after we talk about small timber a little bit, it then goes on to the summary.

[13:16] The summary lasts 78 minutes, which is actually longer than the movie itself.

[13:22] Now, Elliot, were you to go back a week ago when you recorded this episode, what would you have done differently?

[13:30] Would you have tightened it up?

[13:31] Would you have extended it?

[13:33] I assume tightened it up.

[13:35] Are you sure it was 78 minutes just for the summary?

[13:37] 78 minutes just for the summary from minute 1430 to 9230.

[13:45] Huh.

Elliott Kalan

[13:46] That's incredibly exact.

[13:48] If anything, I think I nailed it, getting it exactly at a round number.

Dan McCoy

[13:52] 92?

[13:54] Wait, it ended at 9230, the summary?

Stuart Wellington

[13:57] No, you know what?

[13:58] That can't be right.

[13:59] Did I?

[14:00] Did I do a whoopsie?

[14:01] Because one of the great things about this episode is we have a couple of amazing whoopsies.

[14:05] And one of my favorites, of course, comes from Mr. Elliot Kalin over here.

Elliott Kalan

[14:09] Is this the segment called Moldy Peaches, where it's all about the whoopsies?

[14:14] You're a listener.

Stuart Wellington

[14:15] That's incredible.

[14:16] Yep.

[14:16] So one of the big whoopsies, of course, comes from Elliot, where you said that the time that passed between the opening of the movie and the rest of the movie was almost 100 years in the future.

[14:28] It was actually almost 1,000 years.

[14:30] 1,000, yeah.

[14:30] Now, take us back.

[14:32] What was going on in your head at that time?

Elliott Kalan

[14:34] My head at that time was I was struggling with the fact that I never get to sleep because my children are mean to me and wake me up multiple times per night.

[14:41] And then during the day, they're also mean to me and yell at me a lot and don't let me have any time to sit down or do anything like that.

[14:48] And so I kind of constantly feel like a needle is being shoved into my head.

[14:52] And so I think that's where my head was at at the time.

[14:54] It was hard for me to do that basic math.

[14:55] Kind of silly when you think about it.

[14:57] Interesting, yeah.

[14:58] Interesting.

[14:59] I think I also got thrown off.

[15:01] Later in the movie, they do refer to eons for meaning less than 1,000 years, which is not the case.

[15:06] So I think in my head, I was exaggerating how much they were exaggerating the amount of time.

[15:11] But it was a foolish thing.

[15:12] I believe I corrected it a little bit later in the episode, though.

Stuart Wellington

[15:15] You actually did.

[15:16] And at that point, did you feel more comfortable in the rest of the episode?

[15:19] You felt a little bit looser, a little bit more natural.

Elliott Kalan

[15:24] Yeah.

[15:24] Any time I can feel the fingers poised over the tweet buttons of people who are about to tweet at me, a mistake I made, that finger.

[15:33] A mistake you made?

[15:34] Uh-oh.

[15:35] Another whoopsie.

[15:36] It's okay.

[15:36] A mistake I made in Lake Mead.

[15:38] Oh, come at me.

[15:40] Any time I feel that finger descending away from the tweet button as they hear me correct myself, that always makes me feel better.

Stuart Wellington

[15:47] Now, Dan, at one point, you describe Amityville in space as almost like a mockbuster.

[15:52] For those listeners out there who aren't film professionals like yourself, what is a mockbuster?

Dan McCoy

[15:59] Sure.

[15:59] A mockbuster is a movie made on the cheap with sort of a similar title or premise to something that was a blockbuster in movie theaters or at least meant to be a blockbuster, meant to be a big movie.

[16:15] Because, for instance, there's a snakes on a train off of snakes on a plane.

[16:20] A snakes on a plane on its own was not particularly successful, but they thought it could be.

[16:26] So it's a gold rush.

[16:28] They're gambling on what might be big.

[16:31] But you got your transmorphers instead of your transformers, that kind of thing.

Elliott Kalan

[16:34] I feel like transmorphers is the epitome of it where the hope is that someone will accidentally pick it up thinking that it is the actual movie.

[16:44] And as we talked about on the podcast, I believe, in the past, not on Peach Pit, but on the Flophouse.

[16:49] Thank you.

[16:49] That there's a number of disappointed kids out there whose grandmas bought the wrong movie and were like, I got you that movie you love.

[16:55] And it's not.

Dan McCoy

[16:56] I feel like, yeah, they are depending on America's grandmas.

[17:01] Because otherwise, I'm not quite sure what the thinking is.

[17:05] Because a movie that is cheaper to make is not cheaper to rent.

[17:10] I mean, for a lot of these, I guess they released the Mockbuster version straight to streaming while these films are still in theaters.

[17:18] I guess, again, relying on people making the mistake that, oh, it's already available.

[17:24] Or maybe being like, well, we don't have the 20 bucks to go out to the movie, but I'll spend $4 on this cut rate version.

[17:35] I'm not clear on the business model, but it seems to work.

Elliott Kalan

[17:38] Or that the algorithm will get tricked.

[17:40] They'll trick the algorithm.

Stuart Wellington

[17:43] Now, speaking of Mockbusters.

[17:45] Because the algorithm, let me just tell you, is dumb.

[17:48] Uh-huh.

[17:48] Well, I don't know.

[17:49] I mean, I thought.

[17:50] Don Cheadle?

Elliott Kalan

[17:51] Yeah, Don Cheadle's pretty funny.

[17:53] Yeah.

[17:53] I mean, but he tripped himself up.

[17:54] He should have realized that harassing and haranguing his star player, the son of LeBron, the only leverage he had, was a bad idea.

Stuart Wellington

[18:04] Yeah, it was a mistake.

[18:05] Yeah.

S5

[18:09] What happens when you give a bug recreational drugs?

S4

[18:13] What was the first recorded sound?

S5

[18:15] How do we figure out how old the earth is?

S4

[18:18] Let's find out together on our show, Let's Learn Everything, where we learn anything and everything interesting.

S5

[18:23] My name's Caroline, and I studied biodiversity and conservation.

S4

[18:27] My name's Tom, and I studied computer science and cognitive blah blah blah.

[18:31] Did you?

S5

[18:33] And my name's Ella, and I studied stem cells and regenerative medicine.

S4

[18:37] On our show, we do as much research as you would for a class, but we don't get in trouble for making each other laugh.

S5

[18:42] And we get to say f***.

[18:45] Maybe not in the trailer.

[18:46] Subscribe to Let's Learn Everything every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

S6

[18:51] Are you ready to binge watch something old?

S7

[18:55] The Greatest Generation is a podcast about Star Trek by a couple of hosts a little bit embarrassed to even have a Star Trek podcast.

[19:03] Hosted by me, Ben Harrison.

S6

[19:06] And me, Adam Pranica.

[19:07] We get into the critical, the technical, the science fictional aspects of the show we love,

[19:13] while roasting it and each other at the same time.

S7

[19:16] We've completed an entire series about Star Trek The Next Generation,

[19:20] and another one about Star Trek Deep Space Nine,

[19:22] and we've just begun Star Trek Voyager.

[19:25] So now is a great time to start watching a new Star Trek series with us.

S6

[19:29] So subscribe to The Greatest Generation on MaximumFun.org,

[19:32] or wherever you get your podcasts,

[19:34] and become a friend of DeSoto today.

Stuart Wellington

[19:39] So, speaking of Mockbusters, multiple times in the episode,

[19:44] Elliot goes on a run listing all of the other Amityville movies that are currently on IMDb.

[19:50] Let's listen.

Elliott Kalan

[19:51] But since 2011, there's been the Amityville Haunting,

[19:56] the Amityville Asylum, Amityville Death House,

[19:58] the Amityville Playhouse, Amityville No Escape, Amityville Vanishing Point,

[20:02] the Amityville Terror, Amityville Prison,

[20:05] the Amityville Murders.

[20:05] And the big budget one was Amityville The Awakening.

[20:09] The Amityville Harvest, and Amityville Poltergeist,

[20:11] Witches of Amityville Academy,

[20:13] then Amityville Island, Amityville Vampire,

[20:15] Amityville 1974.

[20:16] But then on IMDb, these-

[20:17] Okay, and that's just a taste.

Stuart Wellington

[20:19] That's just a sample.

[20:20] Now, some listeners were suggesting that you were just coming up with all those titles on the spot, Elliot.

[20:27] Tell me about it.

Elliott Kalan

[20:28] They're wrong.

[20:29] I wish that I was so talented that I could come up with all those titles right off the top of my head.

[20:33] No, those were all real titles of real movies.

[20:36] And I mean real, R-E-A-L, not just R-E-E-L, but both apply.

[20:40] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[20:41] I listened to that clip, and I think about it.

[20:43] I was talking, I saw a friend of mine this weekend who was saying that when she listens to the show,

[20:47] sometimes she hits the 1.5 speed button,

[20:50] and she can't tell when Elliot's talking whether that's true or not.

[20:54] She has to wait until one of the others of us talk.

Stuart Wellington

[20:57] Yeah, so listening to all those titles, because there were a lot of them,

[21:03] are there any that you, was there any that stuck out that you were like,

[21:07] I wish we watched that instead of Amityville in space?

Elliott Kalan

[21:11] Almost any of them, to be honest, after watching Amityville in space.

[21:15] But I'm curious about the, there was one that was,

[21:18] I think that Witches Amityville Academy or something like that,

[21:21] because I don't know what that would be.

[21:23] And I think I mentioned-

[21:24] I can guess.

[21:26] There was one called Amityville Bigfoot,

[21:29] which seems like gilding the lily, you already have a ghost in the house.

[21:33] Why do you need a Bigfoot also?

[21:35] But, you know, to be honest,

[21:37] once Dan started going into the director's previous work,

[21:40] when I saw Noah's Shark-

[21:41] Noah's Shark.

[21:42] That's the one I was curious about.

[21:44] Although I watched the trailer, it was not the movie I thought it was going to be.

Stuart Wellington

[21:47] You were expecting a more true to the Bible version, right?

[21:51] Yeah, more religious film.

Elliott Kalan

[21:53] Yes, exactly.

[21:54] Where Noah sends out a shark to find dry land, and instead of just eats him.

[21:58] And it brings back an olive branch.

Dan McCoy

[22:01] And Noah's like, how did you get this?

Stuart Wellington

[22:05] And from my understanding, I believe the screenplay to Noah's Shark was later on adapted to

[22:10] the Darren Aronofsky Noah movie, right?

Elliott Kalan

[22:13] Yes.

[22:13] Unfortunately, the budget did not allow him the shark.

[22:16] So they had to cut the shark.

[22:17] That's too bad.

[22:18] The weird thing is they started shooting with the shark,

[22:20] and then halfway through, they were like, we can't afford you, sorry, we've got to let you go.

[22:23] And they let the shark go into a children's swimming pool.

[22:25] It was a horrible bloodbath.

[22:27] And they'd cut those scenes out.

[22:29] Had to cut them all out.

Stuart Wellington

[22:30] Now, for fans of the Flophouse, one of the biggest joys are whoopsies, right?

Dan McCoy

[22:35] Do you think any fans of the Flophouse are listening right now?

Elliott Kalan

[22:39] I mean, nobody else is.

[22:40] I hope so.

[22:42] Other than the NSA, I suppose.

[22:45] Eagle Eye.

Stuart Wellington

[22:46] And I think this episode's number one whoopsie moment came during the amazing Crystal Game

[22:51] Hidden Mini brought to us by Dan McCoy.

[22:54] Let's catch a little listen on this one.

Dan McCoy

[22:56] Jesus Christal?

[22:58] That was not from Greasy Jesus.

[23:03] That was not from Jesus Christ Super Crystal.

Elliott Kalan

[23:08] No.

[23:08] Were you trying to say Jesus Christ Super Crystal and you said Greasy's jeans?

[23:14] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[23:16] Greasy's jeans, Dan.

[23:19] So take us back there.

[23:21] What was going on in your head?

Dan McCoy

[23:23] Well, if you listen, I never actually said Greasy's jeans, but I did go along with Allie.

[23:29] What did you say, Greasy's jeans?

[23:31] I said Greasy's.

[23:32] What was it?

Elliott Kalan

[23:32] Greasy's jeans.

Dan McCoy

[23:33] Greasy's jeans?

[23:34] All right.

[23:36] So I guess that was my whoopsie.

[23:39] What?

[23:40] Yeah, no.

[23:40] I was trying to get to.

[23:42] What Dan was trying to say was Greasy Jesus.

[23:49] Less popular.

[23:51] I had a harder time finding followers.

[23:54] Greasy Jesus.

[23:55] People would gather in corners and whisper and be like, you know, I like a lot of what he's saying, but there's just something really off-putting about this guy.

Elliott Kalan

[24:04] Well, and also, and his message was a little one note.

[24:07] He's blessed are the Greasy because the earth's going to be their possession.

[24:09] It's going to be Greasy.

[24:11] If your neighbor should strike you on the cheek, give him a Greasy cheek.

[24:15] There's a lot of that kind of stuff.

[24:16] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[24:17] Blessed are the Greasy because they will be slippery when their villains try and grab them.

Stuart Wellington

[24:23] Because, of course, normal Jesus is like-

[24:25] A house that's really greasy is hard to stand in.

[24:27] That was a big one.

[24:28] Because normal Jesus makes a point of saying, you know, turn the other non-greasy cheek and stuff like that.

[24:33] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[24:33] Yeah.

[24:34] He would say, consider the grease in the fields.

[24:37] Yeah.

[24:37] It does not spin.

[24:38] Yeah.

[24:39] Neither does it so, but it's pretty greasy, right?

[24:41] Uh-huh.

Dan McCoy

[24:42] Yeah.

[24:43] I come not with, what is, what is, what does he say?

[24:45] Come not with a something, but with a-

[24:47] All I remember is the short part.

[24:48] I don't know, a bunch of canola oil.

Elliott Kalan

[24:52] And then, of course, he would sing the Monkees' hit song, Cheer Up, Greasy Gene.

[24:57] Yeah.

[24:57] You're a Dame Dream Believer and a homecoming grease.

Stuart Wellington

[25:01] He'll go to the candy shop and buy some Greasy's pieces.

Elliott Kalan

[25:06] And give them to a Greasy's monkey.

[25:08] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[25:08] Yeah.

[25:09] No, I was trying to say Jesus Crystal Super Crystal, I think.

[25:14] Uh-huh.

[25:15] But-

[25:15] That could work.

[25:16] That could work.

Stuart Wellington

[25:16] Right from the top, I instead said Greasy's.

[25:20] Almost immediately went south.

[25:22] Yeah.

[25:23] Yeah.

[25:23] But you leaned into it, and I think, I feel like that's what led it to be the number one whoopsie of the episode.

[25:30] Oh, thanks.

[25:31] Oh, wow.

[25:32] Yeah.

[25:32] You got the N-O-W.

[25:34] Number one whoopsie.

[25:34] The now, the number one whoopsie.

[25:35] So, before we wrap this up, fans are kind of dying to know, Dan, did Audrey ever come back from Ikea?

[25:45] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[25:46] She did come.

[25:47] She did return.

[25:48] So, everyone can be happy about that.

[25:50] She brought, we've got two big bins for our recycling, for our paper, and our sort of like-

[25:59] Separated recycling.

[25:59] Cans and plastic.

[26:00] Call page six.

[26:02] And she got several sort of photo frames.

[26:09] I don't know how many photos she's planning on framing and putting up, but there were at least six.

[26:14] Well, count the frames, Dan.

[26:16] That's like six or seven of them.

[26:17] First step.

[26:20] Maybe I'm over at one, two, three.

Elliott Kalan

[26:23] I mean, don't count them now.

[26:24] That's not what I was saying.

[26:26] If you wanted to know how many.

Dan McCoy

[26:27] There's five of them.

[26:28] Oh, okay.

[26:28] And some of the Ikea brand Ziploc bags, which I assume were just because she happened to be there and not because there's anything particularly good about these Ziploc bags.

[26:40] Well, you have to put them together yourself.

[26:41] Yeah.

[26:42] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[26:42] We'll write in if you're a big fan of the Ikea brand Ziplocs.

[26:44] And Alan ran to somehow.

[26:46] So, as we teased earlier, there's got to be stuff coming up.

[26:50] What's next for the Flophouse, Dan, Elliot?

Dan McCoy

[26:54] Well, directly after this, we're going to record the commentary track for Country Bears, which—

[27:01] What?

Stuart Wellington

[27:01] But you said we were only doing one commentary track this year.

Dan McCoy

[27:05] Well, we got enough newer upgrading members.

[27:10] Or, look, we set a target, and we almost got there, and that's good enough for us.

[27:18] As you listen to the show, a man who says, Greases instead of Jesus, I cannot, you know, in Greases Jesus' name, let he who is without—

[27:30] Grease.

[27:31] Grease cast the first, I don't know, Crisco.

[27:35] So, the point is, like, who am I to say that you can't have the Country Bears commentary just because we didn't quite get our target?

[27:43] We came close enough.

[27:44] That's what I say.

Elliott Kalan

[27:45] You're showing the kind of compassion and mercy that Greases shows.

[27:49] Yep.

[27:50] And then, and I think we mentioned earlier, I think a certain Halston Haglund is going to be returning to the show.

[27:56] Very exciting.

[27:57] Next month.

[27:58] Yeah.

[27:59] And October, of course, will be Shocktober as usual.

[28:02] Of course, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[28:04] Well, thank you so much for joining me.

[28:05] Do you guys have anything you want to plug?

Dan McCoy

[28:08] I don't have anything I want to plug, but I will say here at the very end that we have a sponsor.

[28:15] You know, there's no requirement.

[28:16] It has to be in the middle of the show.

[28:18] So, I'm just going to say that LumiLabs has been our sponsor for this nonsense.

[28:22] If you want to feel like you're listening to this weird episode of the Flophouse all the time.

[28:27] All the time.

[28:28] Maybe microdosing is for you.

[28:29] You've probably heard about it.

[28:31] If not, just know that all sorts of people are microdosing daily to feel healthier and perform better.

[28:35] And our show is sponsored by microdosed gummies, which deliver perfect entry-level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good.

[28:43] I don't know whether a microdosed gummy would have helped me understand this better or worse.

[28:50] You know, like I kind of felt like I was in my own version of the rehearsal as levels of reality floated away.

[28:59] Dan's trying to talk me off right now.

[29:01] Yeah.

[29:01] If you want to enjoy that kind of feeling, you know, chemically, microdose is available nationwide.

[29:09] And to learn more about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code FLOP to get free shipping and 30% off your first order.

[29:17] Links can be found in the show's description.

[29:18] But again, that's microdose.com, code FLOP.

[29:22] And also, I want to say, check out the other great podcasts at MaximumFun.org.

Stuart Wellington

[29:26] Yeah, if you're a fan of the Peach Pit, you should probably also check out the Flophouse, which is on MaximumFun, as well as a number of other great shows.

[29:33] Check them all out.

[29:34] They're so much fun.

[29:35] Obviously, if you are responsible for handling the content on Warhammer TV, I feel like this is a perfect audition tape for me to be a host of some kind of reality competition show on Warhammer TV where I, like, I don't know, like, judge people's painting or some shit.

[29:53] But, like, I'll do it super cool and funny.

[29:55] Why don't you hire me?

[29:56] Come on.

[29:58] And thanks again to my guest, Dan Nelliot.

Dan McCoy

[30:00] I mean, Stuart's already a minor internet celebrity.

[30:04] He's been getting super buff.

[30:05] I can see his traps and his pecs right now.

Stuart Wellington

[30:12] And I'm not even on a cut.

[30:14] This is just normal Stuart.

Elliott Kalan

[30:16] Yeah.

[30:17] Yeah.

[30:17] And I'm going to let my feeling of being used as I suddenly realize the reason for the episode.

[30:22] Not cloud my complete recommendation for Stuart to host something on Warhammer TV.

[30:29] I didn't realize I was a supporting player in his audition tape.

[30:33] I would have gladly done it if asked.

[30:34] This wicked game.

Stuart Wellington

[30:36] It wouldn't have turned me on as much, Elliot.

[30:40] That's an important thing.

[30:42] So, again, yep, this is Stuart for The Peach Pit, which is part of the Flophouse.

[30:46] Come again next week.

[30:47] Bye.

[30:48] Bye.

[30:52] Bye.

FH Mini 63 - The Peach Pit

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