Ep.#465 - Smurfs, with Jesse Thorn

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Smurfs.

[0:03] We'll decide, does it Smurf that Smurf, or is it a big piece of Smurf?

[0:30] Hey everyone, welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:35] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:36] Hey Dan, it's me, Stuart Wellington, your friend.

[0:39] My name's Elliot Kalin, and I'm also Dan's friend.

[0:41] Have the rumors been going around saying I'm not Dan's friend, and only Stuart is Dan's

[0:44] friend?

[0:45] Yeah, there's been talk.

[0:46] Elliot, why don't you introduce our guest as well?

[0:48] I'm very excited for our guest today.

[0:50] As everyone knows, this is Mo-vember, when we do Mo-episodes with Mo-guests.

[0:54] So we've got with us Mo himself from the Three Stooges, Mo Howard.

[0:59] No, I'm just kidding.

[1:02] With us is the founder, and still Lord Emeritus of Maximum Fun, one of the most pioneering

[1:13] people in podcasting, a radio professional celebrating 25 years of his show Bullseye.

[1:19] Please join us in welcoming one of our great friends, Jesse Thorne.

[1:22] Jesse, thank you so much for being here with us.

[1:25] Hello, friends.

[1:26] And by friends, I mean Dan, specifically.

[1:28] Dan and I are friends.

[1:29] Yeah, showing off.

[1:30] We're all friends of Dan around here.

[1:31] Well, I don't understand.

[1:32] I don't get it.

[1:33] How did I get knocked out of friend?

[1:34] I'm not even in the friend zone.

[1:35] I'm out of the friend zone.

[1:36] We're going to change the name of the podcast to Friends of Dan.

[1:37] Dan's friends.

[1:38] Dan and friends and Elliot.

[1:39] I mean, this has just been a decades-long project to cheer me up, so it's only right.

[1:52] Hey, guys.

[1:53] So this is a podcast where we watch a movie that was either rejected critically or commercially

[1:58] and we discuss it.

[2:00] We give our...

[2:01] Which was this one?

[2:02] Well, it did okay.

[2:03] I don't think it was like a huge hit, but it did okay.

[2:06] So looking at the numbers here, on a budget of $58 million, according to Wikipedia, its

[2:11] box office was $120 million, which is probably about break even or a little less at this

[2:18] point in the way movies cost and marketing costs.

[2:21] So I'm going to say, I don't know, they're going to be rushing out to make another Smurfs

[2:25] movie anytime soon.

[2:27] I think they...

[2:28] Don't they protect the budget cost by selling the advance rights to Belgium?

[2:33] Because that seems like they could get 60 million in Belgium.

[2:35] Oh, yeah.

[2:36] Yeah.

[2:37] Yeah.

[2:38] Yeah.

[2:39] Yeah.

[2:40] Yeah.

[2:41] Yeah.

[2:42] The Smurfs...

[2:43] Well, the Smurfs were...

[2:44] Hale was a national hero.

[2:45] The Smurfs were like a French or Belgian.

[2:46] They're Belgian.

[2:47] They were actually elected to the Belgian parliament, despite being fictional characters,

[2:48] yeah, many years ago.

[2:49] So yeah, they're national treasures.

[2:51] I'm not sure that this wasn't a bigger success, given that there have been a couple of previous

[2:54] Smurfs movies and Smurfs is yet another, like, property mostly from the 1980s that I don't

[3:01] think modern kids, like, think about at all.

[3:05] Yeah.

[3:06] What did your kids say about this when they saw the trailer, Elliot?

[3:08] When my kids saw it, they were not familiar with the Smurfs at all.

[3:10] When they saw the trailer, they said, they're just ripping off the trolls.

[3:14] They're just trying to make a trolls movie.

[3:15] And I will say that Smurfs, I think, predate those trolls movies, certainly.

[3:19] I don't know.

[3:20] But the way this movie is done, they are trying to make a trolls movie.

[3:23] Like, they're trying to go with the trolls template.

[3:26] And I never thought I would say this ever.

[3:28] Trolls does it much better.

[3:30] Trolls is a much more satisfying movie.

[3:33] Yeah.

[3:34] I only saw one of the trolls and I just wanted to punch the movie in the face.

[3:39] There's a troll holiday special that they did for Netflix, I think, which I think is

[3:42] the best of the trolls movies.

[3:44] But otherwise, it's a, yeah, the trolls, I thought I didn't like the trolls movies until

[3:48] I saw Smurfs.

[3:50] I saw a world tour during COVID at the height.

[3:54] You just want to see the world again.

[3:55] At the height of, well, it's my height of my flirtation with marijuana because the world

[4:01] was sad.

[4:02] Unlike now.

[4:03] Unlike now when things are looking up.

[4:05] Yeah.

[4:06] Well, I mean, yeah.

[4:07] Well, Dan, you're just happy that the president is once again killing people with no legal

[4:12] authorization.

[4:13] That's what you want, right?

[4:14] No, I'm not happy about that.

[4:15] It's not as much of a thing anymore.

[4:18] It did not agree with me physically.

[4:22] But when I watch Trolls World Tour, marijuana, Dan got real paranoid when he watched Trolls

[4:28] World Tour.

[4:29] Yeah.

[4:30] But at the time when watching it, Audrey remembers me like just watching it and going, look at

[4:34] the textures.

[4:35] So that's something that trolls has.

[4:40] The biggest crime of Trolls World Tour was when my kids wanted to hear the song Barracuda

[4:44] and one of them announced it.

[4:45] They were like, Siri, play Barracuda by the Trolls.

[4:48] And I was like, no, that is by Heart, sir.

[4:53] Did Siri play the Trolls version, though?

[4:55] And did play the Trolls version.

[4:56] And I turned it off and I said, we're listening to the Heart version.

[4:59] I have a close friend and colleague.

[5:01] I won't say who he is, but his initials are JM and he has curly hair and he's been a guest

[5:06] on this show.

[5:07] Jim Menson.

[5:12] Who wrote for the Trolls television show for a time.

[5:18] These days he's been writing on some really great shows.

[5:22] That was just a time when he was unemployed and taking some work that came his way.

[5:27] And the thing that I remember most vividly about Trolls and the Trolls universe is that

[5:31] the creator of Trolls is still alive, or at least was at the time.

[5:36] And she had established.

[5:38] Or is this in the world?

[5:40] This is in the world, the world of countries and people.

[5:46] And she had set down rules for how the Trolls could operate.

[5:51] And one of the rules was the Trolls can't have enemies.

[5:55] And so in the Trolls TV show, they had to come up with whatever, 50 plots or 80 plots

[6:04] that had no enemies in them.

[6:06] They could only have misunderstandings.

[6:09] It's like spirited away, but in the Trolls movies, they do have enemies.

[6:15] So that seems that seems like a little hypocritical on the part of Trolls.

[6:18] Yeah.

[6:19] I'm taking it with that elderly German lady or whatever it is.

[6:24] I mean, I've got a lot of things to say to elderly German ladies, but this is an elderly

[6:27] Norwegian lady.

[6:28] I mean, one, that's a good story.

[6:30] And two, I would I would kill for a little work on a Trolls TV show.

[6:33] Right.

[6:34] I think you would crush it, dude.

[6:36] I feel like you do a great job, Dan.

[6:38] I think there was a there was a time maybe a friendly misunderstandings is like 90 percent

[6:42] of your life.

[6:43] Yeah, but I think they get a little crankier than they would like on the Trolls.

[6:48] You're like, Dan, you can't just keep pitching episodes where the Trolls send a text that

[6:53] they should have looked at one last time before they said, oh, could this be taken the wrong

[6:57] way?

[6:58] You're like, wait, wait, I've got a pitch about the Trolls being a little annoyed that

[7:02] they're disappointed with the most recent issue of Cook's Illustrated.

[7:08] But I'll say this for your unnamed friend, there was maybe there's a time period in entertainment

[7:13] history when people would be like, oh, I'm working on this thing, you know, I'm a little

[7:16] ashamed of it right now.

[7:18] Work is work.

[7:19] Unless you're working on like a like the Nick Fuentes show.

[7:23] It's fine.

[7:24] Don't be ashamed of your work.

[7:25] Yeah.

[7:26] Go check out.

[7:27] Go check out Teen Titans Go.

[7:28] He works on Teen Titans Go.

[7:29] It's a very funny show.

[7:30] It's a very funny show.

[7:31] I'd also like to say to Cook's Illustrated, you're doing a great job, actually.

[7:36] You've really expanded the types of cuisines that you feature in there.

[7:41] And it's all good.

[7:43] You can hire Dan.

[7:44] He's great at that stuff.

[7:45] Dan loves Cook's Illustrated.

[7:46] Yeah.

[7:47] Yeah.

[7:48] Cook's Illustrated need like fucking single panel gags.

[7:51] Dan will write that shit.

[7:52] When you do your annual April Fool's issue, Schnooks Illustrated, where it's just like

[7:55] a parody of the regular magazine, have Dan do that.

[7:58] Well, we're clearly all raring to talk about Smurfs, but what else can we talk about to

[8:03] put off Smurfs?

[8:05] How are you on an etching of a ham?

[8:08] Better get those spirals Uzumaki style.

[8:14] So I've never seen a hodgepodge eyes light up more, by the way, than when I told him

[8:18] that I contributed a tip to Cook's Illustrated and he'd manage to find it and send it.

[8:26] Anyway, Smurfs.

[8:28] So wait, before we get into the movie, do you guys do you guys have like a history relationship

[8:32] with Smurfs?

[8:33] I mean, when I was a kid, I'm sure I watched the old show, but I didn't.

[8:37] Yeah.

[8:38] Yeah.

[8:39] I watched the old show and the movie that they did Smurfs the Magic Flute was on a lot

[8:43] on television a lot when I was a kid and I would watch that.

[8:45] My mom, my mom like actively wouldn't let me watch them.

[8:49] She hated the Smurfs because why?

[8:53] Because because of Smurfette, because of the idea that there's one female Smurf and she's

[8:57] like blonde basically.

[8:59] She's like this blonde caricature caricature Jason.

[9:02] I can't fucking she would love this movie where she's played by Rihanna, which they

[9:08] went so far in the other direction that Smurfette is the most competent, accomplished, psychologically

[9:14] stable character that there is no there's no character to her.

[9:17] Like there's just no.

[9:18] And instead you have you have to you have to ask the audience to invest emotionally

[9:22] in James Corden.

[9:23] And that's two big flaws right there.

[9:24] Yeah.

[9:25] And by the way, it's a big act.

[9:26] Rihanna lobbied to do this movie.

[9:28] She made music for this.

[9:32] This is what kind of forever like the only new Rihanna music in years and years and years.

[9:38] It's kind of amazing that like she's like Smurfs.

[9:41] That's where it's at now.

[9:42] It's strange when someone you find out the thing that someone has a deep connection to

[9:46] that they're really excited about.

[9:48] And sometimes it can be very surprising.

[9:50] Like the I just found out earlier today that one of my favorite books of my childhood,

[9:55] Lizard Music by Daniel Pinkwater, is being made into a movie and the rock is going to

[9:59] be in it.

[10:00] The Rock is the one who's really pushing it

[10:01] and being like, I gotta make this for my kids.

[10:03] I gotta make a lizard music video.

[10:03] You guys have a lot in common, Elliot.

[10:05] Apparently, and it's one of those things where I'm like,

[10:07] I never would have guessed this is the book

[10:09] that The Rock would be like,

[10:10] I have to make a movie out of this book, you know.

[10:13] So, we'll see how it turns out.

[10:14] Maybe we'll be doing lizard music

[10:15] on this very podcast in a few years.

[10:17] I hope not, I love that book.

[10:17] Yeah. Hope it's a good one.

[10:19] Well, let's get into the details.

[10:21] We begin, as any Smurfs movie must,

[10:23] at the dawn of the universe, where we have a prologue.

[10:27] The Smurfs are eternal.

[10:28] They're the Alpha and the Omega.

[10:29] They've been with us forever.

[10:31] A prologue explains there are four magic books

[10:33] that together rule the universe.

[10:35] So, that's either-

[10:36] Right off the bat, I was like,

[10:37] don't need this in a Smurfs movie.

[10:39] What are you doing?

[10:40] This part is narrated by Joseph Campbell.

[10:44] The Smurfs were born on the back of a turtle.

[10:48] All cultures have a story about Smurfs.

[10:51] Like, supposed to be a parody of the Infinity Stones

[10:55] or a ripoff or like-

[10:57] My grandma told me a wise tale of four magical stones.

[11:02] My mama once told me, stay away from the Smurfs.

[11:06] My guess is this is not a parody.

[11:08] My guess is this is a,

[11:09] them trying to do with the Smurfs

[11:12] what every movie does.

[11:14] And I don't always want to put this

[11:15] at the feet of executives.

[11:16] It's not always their fault,

[11:17] but it does strike me as executives saying like,

[11:19] how do we Marvel movie up the Smurfs, basically?

[11:23] Let's give the Smurfs some stakes.

[11:24] How do we involve a multiverse with the Smurfs?

[11:27] Yeah, how do we give them stakes

[11:28] so the Smurfs are not just dealing with complications

[11:31] between friends in a Dan McCoy-esque way?

[11:33] Instead it is, how are the Smurfs saving the universe?

[11:35] Yeah, how do we keep the Smurfs,

[11:37] why don't we change the threat from,

[11:38] they're just gonna get like cooked alive

[11:40] by this weird dude?

[11:41] What did Gargamel really want to do with the Smurfs?

[11:44] Do we want to grind them up or cook them or something?

[11:47] Yeah.

[11:48] Smurfs probably taste great.

[11:50] That's your tip from Cook's Illustrated, Dan.

[11:52] Fry up some Smurfs.

[11:54] Elliot, this might not be the idea of executives.

[11:56] This could be the idea of Chris Miller,

[11:59] the director of the film,

[12:00] who's not Chris Miller, the director of good films,

[12:03] but rather Chris Miller, the director of bad films.

[12:05] Yeah.

[12:06] It could be, it could be one of those things.

[12:07] Or the writer who was like a South Park writer, apparently.

[12:10] That's a weird combo of.

[12:12] My guess is that this movie went through

[12:13] a long, torturous development process.

[12:15] Yeah.

[12:16] And as with many of these long,

[12:17] torturous development processes,

[12:18] they ended up with a movie that is trying to imitate

[12:21] just what other movies are already doing.

[12:24] Yeah.

[12:24] It's like.

[12:25] I was trying to imagine.

[12:26] Almost like there'd be a,

[12:27] like a program where if you just inserted

[12:29] a whole bunch of other screenplays,

[12:31] it just like came up with a new screenplay for you to use.

[12:34] We have that program.

[12:35] It's called Hollywood.

[12:37] Jesse, what were you gonna say?

[12:38] I was trying to imagine Sue Brady,

[12:40] the woman who like wrote on Team America and stuff

[12:43] and wrote this film, pitching jokes,

[12:47] and then people just sort of like covering their eyes

[12:50] and walking away.

[12:52] Yeah.

[12:52] Like, no, we're not doing, no, no, no, no.

[12:54] It's four magic books and James Corden sings a song.

[12:58] The only jokes are ones where you take a swear word

[13:01] and swap in smurf.

[13:03] If it's a different type of joke, get it out of here.

[13:06] So we got these four books,

[13:08] The Intergalactic Evil Wizard Alliance

[13:10] led by Gargamel's brother, Razumel,

[13:13] wants these books to rule the world with the evil,

[13:15] but the smurfs, they opposed,

[13:17] they stood against these wizards.

[13:19] It's usually what I think of when I think of smurfs.

[13:21] And Papa.

[13:22] Guardians of Order.

[13:23] Rescued one of the books, Jaunty Grimoire, to hide her.

[13:27] Important to say her

[13:28] because this is an anthropomorphized book

[13:30] voiced by Amy Sedaris.

[13:31] Yeah, that is important.

[13:32] One of the many, many, many celebrity voices in the movie.

[13:36] And I will say upfront that the best voice acting in here,

[13:42] no doubt, I don't know what you're gonna say,

[13:45] Gargamel and-

[13:47] Yes.

[13:47] And Razumel, both done by the same person,

[13:49] who is a-

[13:50] Who's a voice actor.

[13:51] Professional voice actor.

[13:52] Yes.

[13:53] Like, why the fuck do you keep putting celebrities

[13:57] with unremarkable voices in these things

[13:59] when voice actors kill it every time?

[14:01] The fact that later on,

[14:03] there's a character voiced by Kurt Russell,

[14:05] and I was like-

[14:06] Who's that?

[14:07] This is like a nothing voice.

[14:08] And then in the credits, I was like, Kurt Russell.

[14:10] And I'm like, well, he's a guy who projects such charisma,

[14:13] but it's not coming true.

[14:14] You don't think he walked into that booth

[14:16] ready to voice Ron, the Smurf?

[14:18] Yeah, it's like, what the fuck am I doing?

[14:20] I gotta go back and play video games.

[14:22] To be fair, I think there were a lot of grandpas

[14:25] out there going like, oh, I gotta see this Smurfs movie.

[14:28] Kurt Russell has five lines.

[14:30] Yeah.

[14:33] Let me take a-

[14:34] He's like, I'll take my grandkids to see this.

[14:35] I'll take a break from playing video games

[14:37] and discussing hockey with John Carpenter,

[14:39] and he's out.

[14:40] But like, the point of doing a celebrity voice

[14:44] is that ideally, the voice is so recognizable

[14:47] that there's a jolt of excitement.

[14:48] That's the same reason you cast a celebrity in a movie.

[14:51] You cast a star is because the audience

[14:53] can then bring their love of that actor

[14:55] or their understanding of that actor to the role, right?

[14:57] Like, that's why Alfred Hitchcock was like, I cast stars.

[15:00] Because when you cast a star,

[15:01] they bring all their previous roles with them.

[15:02] You don't have to build the character the same way

[15:04] because you know who Jimmy Stewart is.

[15:05] You know who Cary Grant is.

[15:07] But to cast actors whose voices are,

[15:09] and there's some great actors in here who I love,

[15:11] but like, other than Natasha Lyonne,

[15:13] there's none in there where I'm like,

[15:14] oh yeah, this person has a very distinctive voice

[15:16] where as soon as I hear it,

[15:17] I know exactly who this person is.

[15:19] Yes, and she also like,

[15:21] when she was doing the talk show circuit for this movie,

[15:24] was talking about being in a Smurfs movie,

[15:26] which alone is funny.

[15:27] But we flash forward.

[15:31] My only worry is that it might become part

[15:33] of the Jane lynching of Natasha Lyonne,

[15:35] which is when someone goes from being super fun

[15:38] to being like, they're everywhere.

[15:39] Why is this person in everything, you know?

[15:41] I also know it's the Helen hunting of Jane Lynch, you know?

[15:44] Yeah, when the last name is Lynch,

[15:47] I don't like Jane Lynch.

[15:48] Yeah, it wasn't the best for everybody, so yeah.

[15:51] Anyway, we flash forward from the dawn of time

[15:53] to Smurf Village now where the Smurfs,

[15:56] they sing a few bars of the famous theme.

[15:58] That's a billions of billions of years.

[16:00] They sing a little of the famous Smurf theme

[16:02] before Papa Smurf drops a beat from the turntable.

[16:04] I immediately fucking called this shit.

[16:06] The music switches to Everything Goes With Blue by Tyla

[16:09] because these aren't your daddy Smurfs.

[16:12] No, these are hip new Smurfs.

[16:14] This was the kind of stuff where they would show it

[16:15] in the trailer and my kids were like,

[16:17] they're just trying to do Trolls.

[16:18] They're ripping off Trolls

[16:19] because this is the Trolls movies all over, you know?

[16:21] Well, yeah, the Trolls, it's all very music-based

[16:24] in the Trolls.

[16:25] Yes, and it's specifically pop music,

[16:28] pre-existing pop music, you know, medleys of pop songs.

[16:31] There was a time when this movie was going

[16:33] to be called The Smurfs Musical.

[16:36] Oh.

[16:37] And that is weird because there's like three songs in it.

[16:41] I think that's probably why they changed the title

[16:43] because they don't have that many songs.

[16:44] Like, honestly, if I was gonna guess what happened

[16:47] in the process of the development of this film,

[16:49] it's that the woman from South Park wrote a script

[16:52] with a bunch of jokes in it.

[16:53] They crossed out all the jokes.

[16:55] Rihanna signed up and said,

[16:57] this will be The Smurfs Musical with songs by Rihanna.

[17:01] Everybody was like, it's been a long time

[17:02] since Rihanna's had songs.

[17:04] Then Rihanna wrote two songs and left.

[17:07] Yeah.

[17:08] And then they had to fill out the rest of the movie.

[17:10] Yeah, for sure.

[17:13] But we use the song to get introduced to the idea

[17:18] that all the Smurfs have, you know,

[17:20] names based on their defining traits.

[17:23] We, you know, meet a lot of the Smurfs like Vanity,

[17:25] Hefty, Worry, Brainy, Grouchy, yes.

[17:27] This is very funny to me is that they have an entire song

[17:30] where you literally have their names come up on screen

[17:32] and then the next scene is about,

[17:34] all the Smurfs have something and I don't have something.

[17:36] This guy has this thing, this guy has this thing.

[17:39] It's like, did you think I missed the beginning of the movie?

[17:41] Like, is this for people who were getting popcorn

[17:43] and they didn't time it right?

[17:44] Like, I just met these characters.

[17:46] You don't have to tell me again.

[17:47] I think it's fun, Elliot, that they all get introduced

[17:49] by their one special quality, like, you know,

[17:53] Brawny Smurf or whatever his name is,

[17:55] is like lifting up a guy.

[17:57] Hefty Smurf is lifting up a guy, et cetera, et cetera.

[17:59] And then through the course of the rest of the film,

[18:02] they don't use their special powers at all.

[18:04] They just run around like regular Smurfs

[18:06] that have no distinctive, interchangeable Smurfs.

[18:09] But I'm sure you were as excited as I was

[18:10] to hear the incredibly recognizable voice

[18:12] of Alex Winter as Hefty Smurf.

[18:14] And I like Alex Winter a lot.

[18:16] I'm glad he's getting some work.

[18:17] Yeah.

[18:18] I was honestly, I don't know how they can make

[18:20] this entire movie without Jack McBrayer being in it once.

[18:24] Oh.

[18:24] I thought it was wild when we meet the Poots later on

[18:28] and none of them are voiced by Jason Mansoukas

[18:30] who looks like one of them.

[18:31] I thought you were going to say imaging Poots.

[18:33] It seems like a no brainer.

[18:37] Yeah.

[18:37] The name is right there in the name.

[18:38] Yeah.

[18:39] Speaking of names, there's one no-name Smurf.

[18:42] The, again, unfortunately, James Corden's in this film

[18:44] and he plays the lead and he has an existential crisis

[18:49] because he's like, I don't know my thing is.

[18:50] I don't know my thing.

[18:51] Hey, Dan, we've never seen a movie like this before, right?

[18:53] Where there's a society where everyone has a thing

[18:55] and the main character doesn't have a thing.

[18:56] Oh, right.

[18:57] There's this one guy trying to find his thing desperately

[18:59] and he just can't.

[19:00] We've never seen this before, right?

[19:02] Yeah.

[19:03] This bit of dialogue comes up, by the way,

[19:05] because Papa Smurf says, isn't it great

[19:08] that everyone in this village has a thing

[19:11] directly to the Smurf who doesn't have a thing?

[19:14] Yeah, because Papa Smurf's a jerk.

[19:16] He's a real dick, Dan.

[19:17] He is.

[19:18] Also, like, is he fucking, like,

[19:19] his thing is being Papa?

[19:21] That's wild.

[19:23] So Papa Smurf.

[19:23] He is Papa to the town, though.

[19:26] Well, I mean, his thing is fucking.

[19:28] Yeah.

[19:29] That's the thing.

[19:29] When his brother shows up, I'm like,

[19:30] why do they make this one so fucking sexy?

[19:35] This Papa Smurf is really playing the Charles Xavier role,

[19:38] which is the leader who, the more you see him

[19:41] and the more you have seen him in direct comparison,

[19:43] you're like, this is not a good guy.

[19:45] Like, the way he manipulates people is not good, you know?

[19:47] The other thing, like, you're making me realize

[19:49] that when we meet his brothers later on,

[19:51] their names are Ron and Ken, right?

[19:54] Like, so, like, they don't have a thing either, apparently.

[19:57] No, somebody at some point said, this is a movie.

[20:00] about brothers yeah thought of no stuff for that it also shows that they lost

[20:06] interest in no name smurf at some point they're like uh what about papa's family

[20:09] can we get into that but i think that's because papa smurf this is the subtext

[20:12] of this movie he called he named himself papa smurf he

[20:16] started smurf village because he is trying to regiment a

[20:19] world where everyone is defined incredibly

[20:21] cult leader by the one thing that they do and his brothers

[20:24] are not welcome in the village they do not like that stuff and so

[20:28] it's a uh but we don't get into that but it says it paints papa smurf in a

[20:31] bad light but you're right it's a the movie kind of careens around being

[20:35] like is this what it's about oh it's about this guy can't find he's the one

[20:37] smurf who doesn't well actually maybe it's about uh how uh

[20:40] brothers and brothers love each other actually maybe it's about how we're

[20:43] stronger together uh what what is this movie about hold on a second yeah

[20:47] but i have a question you mentioned that papa smurf named himself

[20:50] do you think it's possible that character was inspired by father yode of

[20:54] the source family you think there's a possible second

[20:57] film in this where it's almost papa smurf invents green goddess

[21:01] dressing uh starts a psych rock band and then

[21:05] as it comes off a cliff and dies because he assumed that because he's a god man

[21:10] he would know how to hang glide i mean it sounds amazing

[21:14] yeah i think that's the smurf movie i want to see uh

[21:17] but yeah to return to the emoji movie plot of the

[21:21] of the film uh we uh no name is worried about not having a thing doesn't

[21:26] have a thing he's comforted by his friend possible

[21:30] romantic partner question mark smurfette i think i think

[21:34] they don't know what they don't know whether

[21:36] they want that to happen in this movie so they don't have it happen but they're

[21:39] kind of almost happy and they make a point of

[21:41] pretty up front talking about how smurfette isn't

[21:43] wasn't originally a smurf this is what i wanted to talk about so she

[21:47] she talks about how she dealt with being the only smurf made out of clay by

[21:51] gargamel to sort of infiltrate smurf village

[21:54] smurf cannon that's not original that's that's that's

[21:57] actually smurf cannon but it confused me because later in the movie

[22:00] you shoot smurfs out later in the movie that's what i call my

[22:04] dick

[22:06] gargamel like can you eat too much blue food color

[22:11] too much you know what i'm trying to do here yeah exactly

[22:14] later in the movie gargamel or razzamel one of them like shows her

[22:19] like a photo album of like her time with

[22:22] them and it's acted it's it's as if it's like this shocking reveal that she

[22:27] hasn't already dealt with and i don't understand because like

[22:30] right up front she's like hey like this was me i was made out of clay by these

[22:34] guys i mean it's it's a weird moment because

[22:37] they show her this uh this book and they're like actually

[22:40] back then you were like super into being a weird clay member of our family

[22:45] which is i don't remember that yeah like now we're doing some weird like memory

[22:49] horror like that does read as like an executive note

[22:54] that they had the part later on where she was uncomfortable with it but then

[22:58] somebody said uh children don't know the smurf cannon

[23:01] that well they don't know that she was made out of clay but you better have her

[23:05] say it in the beginning as someone who's who is working on a show based on ip

[23:08] where there's a lot of questions sometimes about how much the

[23:11] audience will be aware of the original ip that it's based on yes i think you're

[23:15] right i think that was i wouldn't be

[23:17] surprised if at some point that was supposed to be a reveal

[23:19] and instead they were like let's just get it out at top because it's going to

[23:22] be confusing and we also this character feels very

[23:27] noted to death this smurfette character in that like

[23:30] she never has or the only problem she seems to have is she loves french fries

[23:34] too much in one scene and she eats all of them

[23:36] which is if that's a problem then lock me up officer

[23:38] you know but it feels like they have been

[23:41] there are probably moments where she shows doubt in herself or anything like

[23:44] that and they probably said no we want a

[23:47] strong female character we can't do this or we started we want we don't rihanna

[23:50] doesn't want to doubt or something like that

[23:51] so there's a because i feel like there's a different version of this movie which

[23:54] is about smurfette story and instead they've tried to make her

[23:57] both the strongest best of all the smurfs and

[24:01] also she's in that same wild style lego movie

[24:04] role where it's like hey this character should probably be the hero of the movie

[24:07] but the hero of the movie needs to be kind of

[24:09] like a schlubby guy who doesn't know his place in the world yeah

[24:12] uh speaking of that schlubby guy unfortunately james corton gets a song

[24:16] about how he's like really crazy rap song

[24:21] kind of like ludacris's area codes i never thought i'd hear a smurf say smurf

[24:26] smurf smurf smurf smurf smurf smurf smurf smurf smurf when he's just trying to

[24:29] say skeet the whole time yeah no it's it's like this down tempo ballad where

[24:32] he's accompanied by a turtle on the keyboard who i assumed

[24:35] would be just like a one-off character for this scene keeps showing up weirdly

[24:39] this turtle is like in like half of them because they were

[24:44] some some animator designed this turtle and was pumped

[24:47] he sold it hard in every meeting he's like he just raised his hand

[24:51] what if the turtle's in this scene i looked it up this turtle's played by

[24:55] marshmallow who is a music figure of some

[24:58] okay yeah i'm not familiar with their work but yeah the uh but yeah this

[25:02] turtle i i got very frustrated every time this

[25:04] turtle showed up because there's it's a it's it is like this will be

[25:08] funny to have this turtle show up again but he doesn't

[25:10] do anything and he's not funny so it's like i got

[25:14] why is this non-smurf that is not adding anything you know so smurfs are

[25:18] described as being three apples high yes that's crazy there's no way they're

[25:21] three apples high how small are the crab apples high they're really yeah

[25:25] these are old-fashioned apples these are heirloom apples yeah these are i think

[25:28] these are the apples you have the supermarket that have been genetically

[25:30] modified oh thank you yeah to be super product of a

[25:33] different time speaking of which like you know like smurfs had like these uh

[25:37] these elements of sort of medieval uh culture like there's like a medieval

[25:43] element to smurfs uh yeah yeah but mostly they just like hung out in the

[25:48] village and like they each were named after the

[25:52] job they did like in medieval times you know these smurf hats are a special

[25:58] kind of hat this feels like something oh really it would know about

[26:01] yeah the smurf texture did you see the textures

[26:05] not like i used to but these what were they called what's one of these smurf

[26:10] hats these smurf hats are this special kind of hat that's associated with like

[26:14] the enlightenment yes so these are yeah battles for liberty these are called

[26:18] phrygian caps and they became very big especially during the french revolution

[26:22] was it was a very big time for these when it was they they

[26:26] represented kind of like um the idea of like the roman

[26:30] populace i guess you know that and they so that became a thing of like

[26:34] a representation of like enlightenment equality that kind of stuff

[26:37] so there are multiple flags like national flags

[26:41] where the central figure in the seal or the flag of the nation is wearing one of

[26:47] these hats because it's like the the opposite of

[26:51] wearing a crown so it represents that you have like a

[26:55] republican government yeah well you know what i was wrong i'm

[26:57] looking up more about there it's not a roman thing but it is an ancient world

[27:00] thing and they became and during the during

[27:02] those that time it was like um the jacobins particularly in the french

[27:05] revolution it was like um this is their version of they were

[27:09] using this as their version of the roman kind of liberty cap basically

[27:13] is that why this smurfs movie was so heavily covered in

[27:17] jacobin magazine exactly it's ironic because the smurf

[27:22] village lifestyle is very much not what it is right

[27:25] it's the it's the far stage of revolution where there is now a new

[27:28] dominating leader has taken over you know elliot are you at

[27:32] all familiar with like the original comics like i'm in my head like no

[27:36] this is like like almost akin to like the belgian version of asterix and

[27:41] obelisk or something where it's like this vaguely like historical

[27:45] fantasy world i mean like there's obviously a lot more

[27:48] history and asterisk or something yeah it literally takes place out of the

[27:52] galls or whatever yeah dan have you never seen les

[27:56] aventures de la strumpf the mid-1960s first feature film in

[28:01] the in the smurfs franchise

[28:06] no okay well anyway we will we so we don't have any knowledge so he sings his

[28:11] dope song and then he uh gets his wish granted by a magic book

[28:15] yeah my point in taking us down this non-faithful path i forgot what we were

[28:19] talking about thank you so much just this all started with that just how

[28:23] far this movie like just which is like stuffed with

[28:26] modern like fantasy action movie tropes has nothing to do with what like

[28:32] historically the smurfs have been i mean the smurfs historically are like

[28:36] a gentle storytelling thing like yeah they're not like

[28:39] battling they're like i don't know like tricking gargamel's dumb ass and like

[28:43] sticking his hand in the fire or something exactly the worst thing that's

[28:46] going to happen is is azriel the cat might grab you or

[28:49] something like that i went on r slash smurfs last night or

[28:52] maybe it was r slash the smurfs while i was waiting for my child to fall asleep

[28:56] fine uh just sitting in a beanbag chair in a

[28:59] room it's all just all pictures of smurfette and she's just

[29:02] she's just got she's dump truck on the back

[29:06] first of all first of all no i like looked at the top posts for the last

[29:10] year none of them were about the smurfs

[29:13] movie except for like the eighth one which was just sort of like

[29:16] why don't people like the smurfs movie here's my reasons

[29:20] very gentle and the the biggest reason was

[29:24] in the canon the smurfs are just hanging out in smurf village doing whatever

[29:29] and so they were upset that they would do something other than whatever yeah

[29:32] well i think it's it's a misreading of what i mean i don't have any affection

[29:36] for the smurfs whatsoever but the it's a misreading i think of what

[29:39] appeals to people about the original property which is i think

[29:42] the gentleness of it the same way that the ferdinand animated movie from years

[29:46] ago totally missed by having him actually

[29:49] fight in a bullfight and win misreads the point of that fucking book which is

[29:53] that he refuses to fight in a bullfight and he gets what he wants to do

[29:58] through non-violent defiant

[30:00] It's, you know, resistance, but it's also in many ways a misreading of the kind of fundamental appeal of James Corden, which is none.

[30:10] He has no one like James Corden.

[30:13] I'll say this about James Corden.

[30:15] I've said it before.

[30:15] When I saw him in to one, you know, one man, two governors or whatever it was on Broadway, I was like, this guy is hilarious.

[30:22] And I think when he is playing a character who is not supposed to be likable and is doing farcical things on stage, he is very funny.

[30:30] I think the problem is when you make it him not playing an unlikable character, and instead you're supposed to having the audience feel like, I really, I want him around, you know, or I want to get to know him better.

[30:40] You know, it's a, there's things you can do very well.

[30:42] Are you telling me, are you telling me that one of the actors in this film you saw on stage in New York?

[30:48] Let's see.

[30:48] Was it just one of them?

[30:49] Let's see.

[30:50] Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.

[30:52] Uh, so it would be like if they made a Lord of the Rings movie and they're like, actually, your hero's Gollum and you got to hang out with him the whole time.

[30:58] I don't know.

[30:59] That sounds pretty cool.

[31:00] That sounds pretty good.

[31:01] Yeah, it sounds like, and then you keep drowsing up stuff.

[31:04] And Stu, you're starting to sound like a real Los Angeles area waiter.

[31:11] This, uh, so this no name Smurf who is now a, uh, he's gotten magical powers.

[31:16] He shows off the new powers, powers to the village.

[31:18] This is also hilarious to me because he's like, I found my thing.

[31:21] It's like, my thing is I'm kind of a nerd.

[31:23] My thing is I'm very vain.

[31:24] My thing is I have vast magic powers.

[31:27] It's like, well, this doesn't fit into what Smurfs do.

[31:29] By the way, in the previous scene, there's like a list of types of Smurf and, uh, it's not funny.

[31:39] And then at some point he says like, I could be magic Smurf.

[31:43] And then Papa Smurf's like, Smurfs aren't magic.

[31:46] And then like 30 seconds later, he becomes magic Smurf.

[31:51] And you're like, did they, did they send somebody back to page four of the screenplay to make sure to write in Smurfs aren't magic?

[31:59] Yeah, because they were like, I don't know.

[32:01] He starts doing magic stuff.

[32:02] Kids are going to be confused and assumed all Smurfs are blasting magic beans on their hands.

[32:06] Just because Papa Smurf doesn't want them to get involved in magic.

[32:10] Cause he's trying to hide the truth about the magic book from them to keep them safe.

[32:13] Come on.

[32:14] Yeah.

[32:14] Uh, yeah.

[32:15] Well, it doesn't work because, uh, no name immediately shows off by, uh, opening a giant interdimensional sky portal that allows Razzmell to detect Smurf village.

[32:26] We're not the kinds of things that Smurfs usually do.

[32:28] So were we previously familiar with Razzmell?

[32:31] This is Gargamel's brother, Razzmell, voice actor.

[32:35] I believe this is an original character to this.

[32:37] Oh, okay.

[32:37] Razzmell who, I mean, the character design looks like a classic Belgian dude and he has, he's got a, uh, he's got like an intern character voiced by.

[32:45] Dan Levy.

[32:47] I find it.

[32:48] Sorry, go on.

[32:49] No, no, it was just, I just find it very strange that if this is a new character, I assumed that maybe this was like some deep Smurfs lore.

[32:54] Is this a new character?

[32:56] Then why?

[32:57] Like if you're already going to diverge from what the Smurfs are so much in the movie, just make it fucking Gargamel.

[33:04] We all know that Gargamel is the bad guy.

[33:06] Make him the main bad guy.

[33:08] Like my guess is they wanted to have, they wanted Gargamel to be able to be a sympathetic character.

[33:15] That they wanted to have, be able to do more with Gargamel or something like that.

[33:18] So they introduced another guy to shit on Gargamel all the time and be worse than Gargamel so that you could then have a turn.

[33:25] So that Gargamel later helps the Smurfs.

[33:27] Cause wouldn't that be amazing?

[33:29] Gargamel and the Smurfs on the same side, working together.

[33:31] But then at the end of the movie, spoiler, like there's like a, the, the mid credit sequence is Gargamel like bursting in and being like, we've got some unfinished business with the Smurfs, you know?

[33:43] Because now you've built him up.

[33:44] Now, you know, oh shit, Gargamel's now, what's he going to do?

[33:47] He's, you know, this is, we've seen him go through his arc and now he's empowered.

[33:51] I just realized that we're, we're four 40 something men yelling about Gargamel.

[33:58] I love it.

[33:59] This is why you do stuff like this.

[34:00] No, I would, I would really get what we are really yelling about, Dan is storytelling and how storytelling is done in movies.

[34:06] And one of the Smurfs, one of the reviews of the Smurfs says exclusively about Gargamel's portrayal in the Smurfs movie 2025.

[34:14] Why is he as sexy as I remember?

[34:16] I think there was one of the reviews of, that I was looking up of the movie.

[34:19] They were saying, this is Peter Bradshaw of the Guardian.

[34:21] He says, there seems to be a worrying assumption here that a film aimed at very little kids doesn't need to have a very interesting or engaging story.

[34:27] And that's my big issue.

[34:28] And I think the Gargamel stuff is part of that, that there's an assumption that this is for kids who gives a shit, make it the same stuff that we've done in all these other movies.

[34:36] When if anyone needs something, a story that will be wonderful, it's kids.

[34:42] Like this is, there's, there are children that I assume, assume this is the first movie they've ever seen.

[34:46] And it's like, that's their pourer, unfortunately, for this being their introduction to film as opposed to something that really moves them or excites them.

[34:53] You know, I think there's also a very fundamental miscalculation in the lead characters of this show and the actors who portray them.

[35:01] Like to cast a movie like this with celebrity voice actors is de rigueur and understandable.

[35:10] And like, it's not like they were going to go ahead and cast cast incredible voice actors in all these parts.

[35:17] But truly, Rihanna could not be more boring in her performance.

[35:25] It is as though she is like barely there.

[35:29] And James Corden is actively unpleasant and they give him nothing funny to do.

[35:36] So there's no winning here in this story when those and I don't the thing that I don't understand the most about it is like the whole marketing campaign for this movie was based around Rihanna as Smurfette.

[35:53] Like that's the only poster that I remember is Rihanna as Smurfette.

[35:58] And like I know that Rihanna is a hit maker and she's certainly very famous.

[36:05] Yeah. But like, do people want to see a Rihanna movie?

[36:10] Well, that's like children want to see a Rihanna movie first for more Rihanna as someone who is now a billionaire and has retreated into not doing entertainment for the most part.

[36:21] But they don't want it in Smurf form, necessarily.

[36:24] My guess is it's entirely a matter of just how many followers does she have on these social media feeds?

[36:29] Great. We can guarantee X number of people who are huge Rihanna fans will go.

[36:33] It's it is someone entirely for that for that publicity marketing aspect of it.

[36:37] If it was a Smurfs movie where all the Smurfs were just hanging out with Rihanna, that would be a better movie.

[36:42] I would think that would be a better movie.

[36:44] This is the movie.

[36:45] Yeah.

[36:46] Helping her write a fucking album.

[36:47] Rihanna finishes her last concert.

[36:49] She goes, I'm just so tired.

[36:50] I'm so tired of being a big star.

[36:52] I just wish I could just relax and hang out somewhere.

[36:55] And she falls asleep, clutching a stuffed animal Smurf.

[36:57] She wakes up in the Smurf village and the rest of the movie is just her hanging out with the Smurfs.

[37:01] Better movie.

[37:01] A thousand percent better movie.

[37:03] I will say this for this Smurfs movie, which is there were three previous Smurfs movies in the last cycle of Smurfs movies, two of which were like Smurfs in real life, one of which was a fully animated Smurfs movie.

[37:18] And Smurfs in real life, of course, had that famous thing where like Smurf with a hat on his pancakes.

[37:22] Yeah.

[37:24] And I have not seen these movies, but I have looked at like trailers for these movies.

[37:30] You just looked up the news scenes.

[37:33] They looked awful.

[37:35] Yeah.

[37:35] They really looked grotesque.

[37:37] They looked nasty.

[37:39] This movie in the scenes where they are in the Smurf world, I thought it looked pretty good.

[37:47] Like they seem to have learned some of the lessons of recent films that have taken greater advantage of of the human touch and the possibilities of animation in the context of 3D animation.

[38:05] You know, like, I don't know.

[38:06] I don't know if you guys saw same thing with you guys up Puss in Boots 2, but Puss in Boots 2 is really good or at least very good.

[38:16] And it is really cool looking.

[38:19] And part of the reason is because the aesthetics are very flexible and interpretive.

[38:25] And this has some of the hand of man in it and reflects some of the like values of the comics and the and the cartoons of the 80s in interesting ways and looks pretty decent.

[38:38] Now, later, they muddle that up by doing 17 other things.

[38:42] But when I was looking at it, in contrast to, say, Trolls, which is just a pile of crap on the screen, I was looking at, I mean, incredible textures.

[38:52] I got to give it to Dan for identifying that.

[38:54] He just like I was like licking the TV screen because you want to taste those textures.

[38:58] Yeah, I was like, this is actually kind of this is actually kind of good looking.

[39:01] I thought I don't think everything else was horrible to this point, but from a technical point of view, everything's everything looks great.

[39:08] And I agree with you 100 percent.

[39:10] I was amazed at how good Smurfs looks like.

[39:15] It finds that middle ground between like we're doing a computer animated movie, but we're going to have some hard lines in here.

[39:21] We're going to like, you know, like find the the the middle of the hard lines.

[39:26] No one's going to drug use.

[39:29] We're going to we're going to do some stretching this and bouncing this to it.

[39:32] There's a little bit.

[39:33] It feels like a cartoon.

[39:34] There's motion lines.

[39:35] Yeah, I'm trying to make photorealistic Smurfs.

[39:38] Yeah, if you I was saying, like, if you put on if you put the sound down on this and put Dark Side of the Moon on and watch Smurfs, probably pretty good.

[39:47] But yeah, the textures are incredible.

[39:49] The Smurfs in the other movies do look grotesque compared to these Smurfs.

[39:53] Yeah. OK, we're not that far into this movie.

[39:55] We're not at all. He gets magic powers.

[39:58] Yeah, yeah. And Resume.

[40:00] has now identified with a Smurfs son, his intern.

[40:03] Yes, and the Smurfs figure, obviously Papa has to be kidnapped by their old nemesis Gargamel,

[40:10] who should have been the main villain of this movie as far as I was concerned.

[40:13] But No Name brings Gargamel to Smurf Village for them to capture and they interrogate him and he

[40:19] doesn't know where Papa Smurf is. But Clumsy has found a magic record that Papa has labeled

[40:26] as the way to find Ken, the guy that as he was being, Papa Smurf was being sucked away.

[40:31] He's like, find Ken. And so when they put this record on.

[40:35] Hold on, dad. What happens is Papa Smurf says, find Ken, find Ken. And then in the next scene,

[40:42] a guy says, well, this record says find Ken on it. That's it.

[40:48] We put together the clues.

[40:52] Mr. Smurf, I gave you all the clues.

[40:54] They don't even show him looking for something. He just holds up a record.

[40:59] I found the thing he said. Why didn't he just like

[41:02] hand him the record as he's being sucked away and be like, play this to find.

[41:06] Why did he just say, go to Paris to find Ken?

[41:09] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good point. Well, well, they don't know what Paris is,

[41:12] but they need to learn a lesson about the power of music, Elliot.

[41:16] That's true. Yeah. Because this is a musical, as we all know,

[41:21] the Victrola sucks them through the horn of it and takes them into Paris in the real world,

[41:28] which is a weird thing about this movie is like part of it takes place in the real world where

[41:33] cartoon characters live. Some of them. I don't know what makes them different from the ones

[41:38] that live in the cartoon world, but none of this is commented on these various levels of reality,

[41:42] really. No, it's just kind of like I kind of like that. They're not like,

[41:46] I kind of like where are we as of not understanding.

[41:48] But it's also very strange when you're like, OK, I get it. So the cartoon characters live in the

[41:52] Smurf universe and they live here and they're like, there's there's Rasmus Castle here in

[41:56] Germany. And it's like, OK, wait a minute. There's just a cartoon castle in Germany.

[42:00] They're not worried about alienating German audiences by saying Rasmus lives there.

[42:05] What's most amazing to me about this concept where they're visiting real life cities of the world

[42:12] is that they do nothing with it. Yeah. Like the extent to which they do nothing with the places

[42:19] that they visit can't be overstated. Like they don't even bother to like have a scene in the

[42:25] Eiffel Tower. There's a shot of the Eiffel Tower very briefly before they go into a generic night

[42:30] club. I mean, later on, they do during a song number right around in kangaroo pouches. That's

[42:38] while the kangaroos sing backup vocals. And it's weird. Yeah. Much like much. Oh,

[42:43] they end up in Australia, much like that. That X-Men storyline for years when they were living

[42:47] in the outback, you know, when the Reavers came after them. But the there's that. But you're

[42:51] right. Like they don't they don't have to slide down a long bread in Paris at any point or any

[42:56] kind of stuff. Yeah. There's a direct some poor chef and a cooking good ass shit. There's a

[43:02] bonus here. There's a not very important scene where Razzmell, they're all not very important

[43:10] that Joel has gotten Papa Smurf, where we also learned that Razzmell apparently has a podcast

[43:16] that's mentioned in passing because saying that someone has a podcast is a punchline in films.

[43:24] Come on. It's not that he has a podcast. That's the punchline. It's that

[43:27] he was on a zoom and he was muted and he should have been using his podcast microphone.

[43:33] I have to admit something shameful. They had this magic zoom and when it cut to him being muted,

[43:40] I snorted briefly. But I'm sorry. I apologize. Magic zoom. It was probably three voice actors

[43:48] doing the voices for these all powerful. So the other wizards, you've got a Hannah Waddingham

[43:53] is is one of them who like put some put some effort into this. Nick Kroll is one of the wizards

[43:59] and Octavia Spencer is the only time I've not recognized Nick Kroll in a voice performance.

[44:05] That's what that's how bland this film. But Dan, you say you snorted. I smurfed my pants.

[44:11] Oh, man. Don't even get. OK, we'll get to that. We'll get to that. This this movie does. It does

[44:16] crime one for me in this movie, you know. But Razzmell, having now located Papa,

[44:22] he tries to magically grab the book from Smurf Village, but only manages to bring Gargamel,

[44:27] who had been trapped there, to him. The brothers are together. Meanwhile, in Paris,

[44:33] the Smurfs are rescued from once again with Razzmell, similar to the king or whatever he is

[44:39] in Shrek. Yeah, it is part of the fact that this is a very short person and you can get some humor

[44:45] out of that because short people are evil and should be objects of ridicule. No reason to live

[44:49] is the song. Yeah, exactly. I mean, that's the the anthem of short person hate for generations.

[44:56] Literally no reason to live that. Randy Newman first done as vermin

[44:59] who are diluting the blood of the nation, I think is really unacceptable.

[45:04] I feel kind of uncomfortable, along with Jesse being too tall man here. Yeah, yeah. I'm super

[45:10] tall. Is there anything where they put down hunks in this movie? Because I could get upset about

[45:15] that. How tall are you, Stuart? How tall? Yeah, I'm I'm only I'm six one. OK, we're about five

[45:20] eleven. I was like I was I was taken out of that. I am one foot seven inches.

[45:28] Yeah, yeah. But crab apples. Yeah. So the Smurfs in Paris are rescued by the

[45:35] International Neighborhood. Isn't that a Jay-Z album, Smurfs in Paris?

[45:40] They go to the their base, which is hidden inside of a disco ball.

[45:44] Because again, like you can't do a modern Smurfs movie without having like a bunch of

[45:49] ninja Smurfs doing flips and fucking shuriken of things. Here we meet Ken, Papa's tough brother,

[45:56] who's the voice of Nick Offerman. I did recognize again for some reason.

[46:01] They just like sex this guy up. I'm like, he's like throwing his body around. And I'm like,

[46:06] can I tell you what lists are just him? Nick was recently on my public radio show Bullseye.

[46:12] And he casually five years. Yeah, thank you. And he casually mentioned that he's

[46:17] really into massages because he learned it in theater school. Go on. So I was like,

[46:22] well, I know how to create a viral moment. Give me a massage. He did. He is genuinely great at it.

[46:29] But when we posted that clip on Instagram, I don't know why I hadn't put these pieces together,

[46:35] but just the astonishing flood of horniness that appeared in our comments.

[46:42] That guy is a legit sex symbol for certain communities. Burley, masculine fellow,

[46:48] who's also very seems very sweet. I understand. Really, really nice guy.

[46:54] So, yeah, this is this. And he has the power of the offer,

[46:57] the radioactive offer that bit him a long time ago. That's true. What was the offer?

[47:05] We'll give you this much money for to be on a television show. Yeah. He said, I'll take it.

[47:10] This is the scene when they meet Ken. This is the scene with the most

[47:14] arguing where swear words are replaced by Smurf. But Ken reluctantly agrees to help them.

[47:21] And no name uses magic to create a portal to Razzmell's Castle. But I'll also mention real

[47:28] quick what I mentioned. Crime number one, it is when kids movies do a joke where they're

[47:32] replacing a swear word with another word. It's just being like murder. Right. You

[47:37] weren't talking about murder. No, no murder. I'm fine with murders. Number two. Yeah. After this.

[47:42] Yeah. Sometimes my number twos are a murder. Yeah, I don't. You're talking about. This is

[47:50] just doing appealing to yet another very specific demographic. Yeah. Unfortunately,

[47:56] Razzmell's Castle has a force field around them around it that bounces them to the

[48:00] inter portal way station, which is not something that should be in a Smurf movie

[48:04] in the Australian Outback. I mean, along with Gateway, it's like fucking like it really feels

[48:10] like Congress in like twenty twenty one, like passed a law that multiverses had to be in everything.

[48:17] Yeah. Yeah. And they just all of these things are things that they just say. There's nothing shown

[48:23] only to know. Yeah. Like they just like just at some point Gargamel like they're they're going

[48:28] to Gargamel's Castle and Gargamel says, well, good news, we've got a force field, so they'll

[48:32] bounce off us and land somewhere else and then they land in. It's like when that kind of thing

[48:38] is done well, it feels like children making up a story as they go along. But here it's not.

[48:42] They don't pull it off that way. They're rubber and we're glue. Whatever way it goes. I don't

[48:48] know. Anyway, the Outback is the home of the snooter boots. Of course, we all know this.

[48:54] As soon as the snooter boots came in, I was like, whatever. Like,

[48:58] Dan, have you not seen Kangaroo Jack?

[49:01] You know, this actually reminds me like my old sketch group, Mr. Mr. White Pants

[49:06] had a sketch written by the great Rob Morrison about a about a show called The Piedal Piedal

[49:14] Snorts. And it was like the most insane like list of just like stoned guy things about the

[49:24] Piedal Snorts. And I wish I could remember more details about it. But that's what I think about

[49:29] the snooter boots, who are fluffy creatures who steal from multiverse travelers. And

[49:35] they I mean, and these things feel like they've been focus grouped to death to be like the next

[49:39] cute minion ask type figure like there is. There had to have been a snooter boot spinoff

[49:45] script again, probably starring Jason Mantzoukas somewhere in the pipeline.

[49:51] I'm sure that was our kind of cute. Yes. Yeah. But I'm sure that was when they're

[49:55] voiced by Natasha Lyonne that like that adds to it. Sure. But I'm sure that was part of the thing.

[50:00] We need something in here that we can spin off and I like they could do a Gargamel movie or but we need another type of creature that would like I think you're exactly right like a Minions type thing, you know, and they're led by as a store said Natasha Lyonne as Mama Pooch, who is also an old flame of kins apparently and they ask her to open a portal to Rasmus Castle, but she is too scared of the evil wizards to help and that makes no name also get scared and run away and Smurfette follows him and we get a song and that's and that's what

[50:30] This song I kind of couldn't the song was

[50:34] Every you can do it song mushed together and a certain point I was like, I don't know what the message

[50:38] This is the purpose to get them riding around in kangaroos. Yeah, Stu said

[50:43] But while they're busy in there in their kangaroos and musical interlude

[50:48] Razzamelle kidnaps everyone except for Mama Pooch who uses an old broken-down like interdimensional truck or something

[50:55] It is powered by fear now the song

[50:57] Was to make him not scared anymore and the next scene they're like we need you to be super scared. Yeah

[51:03] Good writing. Um, yeah when they said that when they said the Beverly Hillbillies jalopy that they drive was powered by fear

[51:10] I was like, wow, that's an idea from a different

[51:16] It was it's so from a different movie that it bounced off my brain like there was a force field around

[51:23] Don't do anything with it like it's not it's not like they like whipped out a phone they're like scroll through the news

[51:30] It's like there's the you know

[51:32] We all remember in Inside Out when the when that they have to keep singing to power that

[51:38] Wagon to get them out of the like forgetting place. It's like they're almost trying for the laziest version of that, you know

[51:45] Yeah, it's when I saw Inside Out in the theaters

[51:47] I was like that was good, but it's not like, you know

[51:49] It's not top Pixar and then he watching like Smurfs and you're like, what a what an amazing movie inside out

[51:54] How much they land the emotion in that movie? Come on

[51:57] So they go to Rasmus Castle and they sneak in inside a fast-food takeout bag

[52:01] Which is where a smart fat eats a lot of french fries

[52:05] As mentioned previously, this is there's a very strange scene of a snooty butler

[52:10] Being disgusted by fast food and it goes on for a long time and I was very confused by all of this

[52:17] Yeah, I think it was supposed to like create some sort of tension about whether they're gonna be

[52:22] Found inside the fast-food bag. I guess so

[52:25] But also it's that like like they're they're just just that this is how bad these guys are

[52:28] They hate french fries, you know, I don't know. Yeah, then onion rings are mentioned and they all go. Oh,

[52:32] What's wait a hold on a second?

[52:36] Yeah

[52:38] Meanwhile Gargamel is getting increasingly disenchanted with a Razzmell because Razzmell will not show him any brotherly affection at all

[52:45] and

[52:47] As Razzmell is about to smash the Smurf prisoners using his smashing machine. Yeah, I'd smash the Smurfs

[52:56] Ron at least

[53:00] Our heroes burst in and no-name threatens Razzmell with his magic but it turns out

[53:06] Turns out that no-name doesn't have magic jaunty has been hiding inside of no-name now

[53:11] Reminder when jaunty is the sentient magic book

[53:15] Of course our favorite character. Yeah took America by storm. Yeah

[53:20] There's been off about spin off a bowl possibility is jaunty and her grimoire family. Yeah

[53:27] So she's been hiding under his frigid cat the whole movie

[53:33] Like small books, is that maybe a reference to that? Yeah, I think that's what it would maybe that's how they hid their revolutionary

[53:41] Real life Stu Fridian caps are a place to hide Amy Sedaris

[53:47] Very small she can get inside

[53:50] No, but she's she's revealed because she's allergic to cats. She sneezes it as as real

[53:57] That is allergic to cats

[54:00] This is the hang. I mean

[54:02] That's not the best for Elliot Kaelin

[54:06] That's a good point, yeah

[54:09] Ascension book allergic to cats. Here's where

[54:13] as I said Razzmell smurf at that photo album and she's like

[54:18] Weird about it. I'm like we dealt with this. We don't

[54:21] Set up. It's purely to set up the idea that she might have made a heel turn

[54:26] but of course she hasn't it's all yeah, it turns out it was all a trick, you know, but

[54:30] Um, okay, it would be so great so further discord between the Smurfs

[54:35] Yes, if the whole movie they have been setting up that she has this dark side, but she has to keep pushing away

[54:39] So you don't know which way she's gonna go. That would be very funny

[54:42] Yeah, and not Dark Side of the Moon, which again is what you should listen to

[54:47] Yes, you can enjoy the textures

[54:51] So Razzmell leaves all the Smurfs to get smashed by his giant smashing machine starring the Rocks in theaters now

[54:57] But Gargamel is annoyed paid for a sponsor

[55:03] Gargamel is he well, he needs all the help. It's not it's not a it's not a big success

[55:08] Rocks Oscar campaign is floundering

[55:10] Gargamel strangely set sad and depressed was not what people wanted from the rock in movies

[55:16] yeah, but you know respect Gargamel is annoyed and his brother and

[55:21] Frees the Smurfs and they all fly off on Azrael who had a chance to have wings I do like after

[55:29] Razzmell

[55:31] Captures the jaunty grimoire and turns her evil

[55:34] He then throws her down on the ground and begins surfing around on her like a hoverboard

[55:38] I thought that was pretty funny. I also the more you say words like

[55:44] Razzmell and jaunty grimoire the more I laugh as well

[55:48] I think my understanding is that she's one of those human carpets from New York City nightclub culture in 2002

[55:55] They all that so Azrael loses his wings not a good enchantment. I guess almost instantly wears off Gargamel is not a good wizard

[56:03] Yeah, yeah, they crash in a field where if he was a better wizard he'd fix the fact that he has like one tooth, right?

[56:11] What I'm saying is Dennis are real life which they're the

[56:15] Real wizard real magic real magic. Yeah. God bless you America's dentist

[56:23] They crash in a field long drill

[56:28] Smurfette and no-name both blame themselves for leaving Razzmell the jaunty, but Papa says no

[56:33] It's actually my fault and we get a flashback, which is just what we need

[56:37] Yeah

[56:39] The momentum of this

[56:43] Kurt Russell the previous a lot. This is a long movie. Yeah for what it is

[56:47] I actually know it's nice an hour and a half, but it feels like a very long movie. Yeah

[56:51] Completely miscellaneous

[56:53] I feel like this sequence this flashback sequence is

[56:57] One of the things that highlights what's so wrong about this movie

[57:00] So this sequence is basically all battles and I'm like, why is there so much fucking battling in this movie?

[57:06] Why are you like punching dudes and shit? Yes. Why are some why is this we're holding like a sword and a shield?

[57:11] Well, the Smurfs should not be doing this. It's not what they do. It's not why they're here

[57:15] You know, it's not the purpose of this but it's the same way that like, um

[57:18] It's part of the issue I had with the like

[57:19] Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies where it's like the evil Queen or whatever is gonna take over the world and we've got it

[57:25] We've got to assemble our armies and I'm like, that's not what Alice in Wonderland is about

[57:29] Like it's not a game of Thrones style fancy world nonsense

[57:32] It's about nonsense jokes and word logic and then logic puzzles like yeah, it's a it's a misunderstanding of what the thing or it's a you're taking

[57:40] You're taking the the surface of a thing and then applying it to the inner workings of some other thing, you know

[57:46] Yeah

[57:46] But this flashback is all about the previously mentioned Kurt Russell as other brother Ron who sacrificed himself to save

[57:54] Chaunty in the past which led Papa to create smurf village to keep his smurf safe

[57:59] Rather than lose them in battle and he kept it a secret all these years

[58:04] Do you think it was weird for Nick Offerman to be playing opposite a character named Ron?

[58:09] Wow, that's a good point. Oh, yeah. Thanks for interrupting

[58:19] Do you think yeah, cuz I bet he recorded all his lines in a big room with all the other voice actors all at once

[58:25] Oh, they all get together for sure for sure

[58:28] But yes, Papa has kept it a secret that Smurfs are the gardeners of good which I thought was kind of a funny

[58:34] funny

[58:36] ungainly title for them

[58:39] Making the best use of a thing that shouldn't be in the movie. Yeah. Yeah with a new sense of purpose

[58:44] they all team up with Gargamel to fight Razumel who is

[58:48] trapped the other evil wizards in a water cooler so he can solo reign over the universe and

[58:53] Razumel zaps most of the Smurfs away including Papa who sacrifices themselves to protect Smurfette and no-name and this all occurs in some kind

[59:01] Of like nebulous cosmic zone, right? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, there's a real multiverse of madness. So speaking multiverse of madness

[59:08] Smurfette briefly pretends to always have been on Razumel side to steal the book and

[59:14] Yeah, they do a chase through dimensions just enough so that like a little baby in the audience might start to cry and then would

[59:21] Be like, oh wait, I mean you never know

[59:23] It's like one that when detective Pikachu came out when my older son had never seen a movie where a character is revealed to be

[59:29] A bad guy and so when it turns out Bill Nye

[59:31] He is a bad guy, which if you've ever seen a movie, you know it from moment one. He was like him

[59:37] That's right, you haven't seen a movie that does this before

[59:39] Okay, but this truly is like this sequence which doesn't look bad. I mean there's like an 8-bit dimension

[59:46] Animation one or something I like

[59:51] But it is a

[59:54] Transparent ripoff of spider-man into the spider-verse, which is a really good

[1:00:00] good movie yeah like spider-man to the spider-verse is legitimately wonderful and this is just

[1:00:08] a garbage version of that yeah and we've seen it so many times at this point we've seen it

[1:00:14] in that we've seen a multiverse of madness like even going back like it's a different kind of

[1:00:18] thing but i i remember like looney tunes back in action when they're running through the different

[1:00:22] paintings like it's very similar to that kind of thing uh but then again i was glad for some

[1:00:29] like visual inventiveness something new this feels like the kind of thing i wish the movie

[1:00:33] had more of even if it's a thing we've seen somewhat before like that the smurfs going

[1:00:38] through different visual schemes is i don't like that they're like they're like cutting

[1:00:43] razumel's arms off and things like that i don't like that but the the i think i'd like that more

[1:00:47] than them having to like sneak through the sewers of paris to to have a meetup with this with the

[1:00:54] you know rebel boss again yeah like the idea of them running away from razumel to try and trick

[1:00:59] him in some way is more interesting than what eventually happens yeah they best him there's a

[1:01:04] weird aesthetically it really like highlights the extent to which they have all this relatively

[1:01:11] speaking aesthetic invention in smurf world and then they go into the real world and everything

[1:01:18] looks like crap well the real world has that kind of like ai gloss sheen on everything you know

[1:01:23] it's a yeah but uh but anyway dan you were gonna talk before we interrupt you yet again

[1:01:28] there's one world uh the one outlier world here since most of these things are like different art

[1:01:35] styles is just a microscopic world where razumel encounters a tardigrade that creeps him out

[1:01:42] which was kind of a strange voice like hero of democracy jimmy kimmel interlude yeah that's true

[1:01:48] uh that feels like one of those things where like tardigrades are like one of the things that are

[1:01:51] like big right yeah and so i think that i mean they're very small that's a good point yeah i'm

[1:01:57] surprised they didn't throw a capybara into that scene exactly that's the same way that like well

[1:02:02] it would have been a joke eyes rolled so hard i thought you had a stroke and then axolotl

[1:02:08] an axolotl exactly the way that all the all the animals that used to be cool and indie

[1:02:12] have now sold out and that's one of them yeah yeah uh but they seemingly make it bad matta

[1:02:17] still indie yeah yeah i can't wait it's just gonna break my heart when hollywood gets a hold

[1:02:23] of mata mata's the best turtle yeah do you think that do you think that that jimmy kimmel even goes

[1:02:29] to a studio or do you think they send a tape syncer like do you think they just sent go to

[1:02:33] jimmy kimmel's office with a directional microphone pointed at him save save say these four sentences

[1:02:40] and leave i think that's that's probably closer probably yeah or he just records it on his set

[1:02:46] you know we're at a vo booth in the in this in the studio where he does this and then they just

[1:02:50] send it over because that's the kind of thing when um at the daily show there'd be times when

[1:02:53] they need like john to do something brief for another project and he would just do it there

[1:02:57] you know he doesn't go to the studio anything john you're gonna do the voice for uh a uh tiny water

[1:03:03] bear uh do what that's from that's i mean that's a target that's a tardigrade oh okay i thought you

[1:03:10] were referencing a real project tiny tiny water bears tiny water bears don't drink that it's full

[1:03:19] of tiny water bears uh well anyway these guys they seemingly make it back to smurf village but

[1:03:25] uh-oh it's just a nightmare universe where razzmell takes the book back

[1:03:29] all seems lost until no name realizes he's got the magic in him after all does have magic in him

[1:03:37] yeah and he's immediately super powerful and defeats defeats razzmell brings back all the

[1:03:42] smurfs guys much like this part sucks the most this all sucks much like it sucked in harold and

[1:03:47] the purple crayon that ended almost the same way super mario brothers movie where all of a sudden

[1:03:51] he's just like okay i guess he's the toughest now yeah uh like if no name had like five minutes to

[1:03:58] power up like fucking goku at least that would have happened like what by just like plugging

[1:04:03] himself into an outlet i was gonna say if he just like floats there and goes ah lightning shoots

[1:04:10] around him or if he's he's like actually they're still with even though you think you've gotten

[1:04:14] rid of my friends they're still with me my love for them is still with me and i can draw on that

[1:04:18] to make magic even if something that is meaningful in some way or make meaningful but instead it's

[1:04:22] just like actually no it turns out i do have real magic bam bam bam bam like okay cool i'm gonna be

[1:04:27] like really sassy and like give you the deal with it look all the time yes and because that is the

[1:04:32] because that's the world we live in now where the qualities that are most prized are strength

[1:04:36] lack of mercy and trolling so let's give that to to to no name smurf right now let's have

[1:04:43] let's have sympathetic voice actor james gordon do this uh anyway razzmell's defeated gargamel

[1:04:50] banishes him through a multiverse door and uh poppin ken's lost brother returns through he

[1:04:56] really does he really just throws his brother into exile very easily you know uh and everyone

[1:05:02] celebrates in smurf village they dance to another pop song before uh we get that mid-credits scene

[1:05:07] i talked about before where razzmell see it razzmell is stuck in the tardigrade dimension

[1:05:12] uh where he where he hates uh and uh gargamel bursts in on his brother's former assistant

[1:05:18] joel and says break time's over we have unfinished business with those smurfs

[1:05:24] very good gargoyles wait a minute is there a professional voice actor here with us right guys

[1:05:29] i could do it better than most of the people in this fucking movie

[1:05:32] uh but uh yeah that was smurfs smurfs 2025 copyright whoever 25

[1:05:40] that's what the official that's the official records say yeah can i tell you can i tell

[1:05:45] you the note that that i wrote uh before i gave up on taking notes buy more

[1:05:51] um well there is this there is this one part that says uh when he's making clogs why does

[1:05:57] one smurf eat sawdust that was not clear yeah the people who made this the people were who

[1:06:05] made this were called domain entertainment and uh this was the first note that i took

[1:06:12] and it said that domain entertainment's logo just looks like it's a stock footage library

[1:06:17] yeah just truly the most generic entertainment company that could ever exist it could run before

[1:06:23] an episode of like domain entertainment legendary journeys domain entertainment sounds like the like

[1:06:29] uh the pre-written text where you will alter it when you actually have your real company name

[1:06:38] sorry i took a little break to have you guys both drank water at the same time it was really cute

[1:06:44] yeah thanks look up domain entertainment also producers of weapons and sinners wow wow they're

[1:06:50] really uh they're crushing it this year all over the place uh so this is uh where we do final

[1:06:56] judgments and twisters and a minecraft movie they seem to have made every single movie according to

[1:07:00] this letter wow that's so many movies i didn't see weapons the one uh the most prestigious of

[1:07:07] those movies perhaps but i saw i saw the other three and i liked all of them so good work domain

[1:07:13] entertainment take that back yeah uh final judgments this is a good bad movie a bad bad

[1:07:21] movie or a movie we kind of like uh i'm going to uh first damn smurfs with some faint praise i'm

[1:07:28] going to say i had really low expectations that smurfs exceeded uh in that for a movie about a

[1:07:38] 80s cartoon property that doesn't seem to understand the thing that it's doing i liked

[1:07:42] it better than the recent garfield movie that we also covered on this and uh there are a lot

[1:07:50] of times where like i recognize it's like i don't support the president but he's not pole pot yeah

[1:07:56] well i i recognize that this is getting there a lot of soulless uh storytelling uh and uh

[1:08:04] baffling choices but there were times at which the level to which they were throwing in

[1:08:08] crap that shouldn't be in this movie amused me like i would cackle like what the fuck is this

[1:08:14] movie doing and and as i said before it it looks pretty good but it's a bad bad movie it is a

[1:08:23] mishmash of nonsense uh with as jesse says uh two pretty bad performances at the center um

[1:08:32] yeah did not did not like yeah this is a bad bad movie i think it's a bit of a mess and i can't

[1:08:38] like i think the biggest sin this movie commits is the fact that we're talking about a we're

[1:08:43] talking about a property where like the smurfs don't go around punching people and this movie's

[1:08:48] like what if the smurfs are blasting and punching people all the time and that sucks yeah i i also

[1:08:55] think it's a bad bad movie i have nothing else to add jesse i had uh rebecca sugar on bullseye the

[1:09:00] other day actually elliot came out it was a 25th anniversary show for bullseye and rebecca sugar

[1:09:06] is the creator of steven universe which is a really beautiful wonderful show and she just got

[1:09:11] the job may directing a moomins movie moomins are sort of moments are gonna be defending the

[1:09:19] multiverse with a lot of magic laser blasts and stuff exactly like moomins are sort of like

[1:09:27] 80s santa barbara cartoon nostalgia right like the other ones have to get revenge

[1:09:32] very sort of european beloved characters and she and i were backstage chatting about this job because

[1:09:40] i was i was so happy that she got this job she's such a wonderful person to have this job and

[1:09:45] one of the things we were talking about was how these 3d animated movies how difficult it is

[1:09:51] to capture the aesthetics of cartooning in 3d animation and how disinterested people were for

[1:09:58] a long time because

[1:10:00] 3D animators seem mostly interested in being able to create verisimilitude.

[1:10:04] And, um, recently that has changed and there's been some really cool looking

[1:10:09] ones, spider versus one, although it's pretty 2d for a 3d movie, like, uh, that

[1:10:13] I thought from, uh, from facts of life.

[1:10:15] Yeah.

[1:10:16] I thought the teenage mutant ninja turtles movie looked pretty good.

[1:10:19] And cool.

[1:10:20] Um, like I said, I really liked puss in boots too.

[1:10:23] Um, and I think that, uh, and actually the thing I was talking

[1:10:27] machines had fun stuff in it.

[1:10:29] Great movie, a direct, one of the directors of that movie, big max fun fan.

[1:10:32] Um, and, uh, uh, like one of the movies that we talked about was the peanuts

[1:10:39] movie that Paul Feig made, um, or Paul Feig co-made and that movie made, I

[1:10:45] thought a lot of really interesting choices in terms of reproducing the line

[1:10:49] art style of an iconic artist in a 3d animated movie that I thought

[1:10:53] were really successful.

[1:10:54] I liked that movie a lot.

[1:10:56] Um, and so I want to give credit to the people who made this movie on the

[1:11:02] animation side for making choices.

[1:11:07] And at least in Smurf world, I thought it looked really cool.

[1:11:11] Yeah.

[1:11:11] Um, and

[1:11:13] Razzmell's castle specifically, it looked really like hand-drawn, but 3d.

[1:11:17] Yeah, it, it, it had a very, um, what's that laser disc video game.

[1:11:23] Dragon Quest.

[1:11:25] Is that the one that you play in the, uh, with the full motion video in

[1:11:29] the arcade from like 1980?

[1:11:31] Yeah, Dragon Quest, right?

[1:11:32] Yeah.

[1:11:32] Dragon's Lair.

[1:11:33] Dragon's Lair, yeah.

[1:11:35] When you're trying to, you're trying to trigger the next piece of animated

[1:11:39] Don blue thing and he never can do it.

[1:11:41] You can't get so hard.

[1:11:42] Impossible.

[1:11:43] They, they made an app for the phone where you could just have unlimited

[1:11:47] lives and it still took me forever.

[1:11:49] Yeah.

[1:11:49] I, so I want to, I want to give a shout out to those animators for doing much

[1:11:53] better work and making more interesting choices than they had to, despite the

[1:11:57] fact that the middle 40% or 50% of the movie is in a pretty generic real world

[1:12:03] setting, uh, that adds almost nothing aesthetically.

[1:12:07] Uh, but that having been said, um, this movie's garbage.

[1:12:12] Um, it's mostly garbage in that it's so fucking boring.

[1:12:17] It is just a pile of stuff happening for no particular reason.

[1:12:21] People explaining things to each other.

[1:12:24] Nothing is fun or exciting in the entire movie.

[1:12:28] Um, the songs are terrible.

[1:12:31] Like it really, but, but what is most distinctive about how bad it is, is.

[1:12:38] I was struggling to remember what was happening as I was watching it because

[1:12:43] it was so boring and forgettable.

[1:12:45] The, the storytelling choices are so dull and predictable, but also too

[1:12:53] complicated to remember and put the pieces together.

[1:12:57] Oh, it is a mess.

[1:12:58] It is a very bad, bad movie.

[1:13:00] And I say that as somebody who's like just left the part of my life where my

[1:13:04] children need to watch this kind of movie.

[1:13:06] So I need to take them to it.

[1:13:08] And I watch a lot of them.

[1:13:09] Some of them are passable.

[1:13:12] This is not one of them.

[1:13:13] This is just the most generic.

[1:13:14] That said, I saw Trolls World Tour and instead of passing out of my mind

[1:13:22] immediately upon having watched it, uh, it inserted itself into my mind where I

[1:13:27] hated it actively, continuously thereafter.

[1:13:30] And so I will say, um, this was better than that in that it is now

[1:13:36] completely gone from my mind.

[1:13:37] This was better than that in that it is now completely gone from my mind.

[1:13:41] Everything that Dan said to me was a revelation just now as he was, uh,

[1:13:45] recapping the film.

[1:13:46] So four, four strong recommendations for Smurfs.

[1:13:49] And then when Jesse listens to this episode in the future, he's like, oh,

[1:13:52] wow, Ron is Papa Smurf's brother?

[1:13:56] Run, don't walk in the opposite direction from Smurfs.

[1:13:59] Yeah.

[1:14:04] Wonderful is a podcast where we talk about things we like.

[1:14:06] That's hard to sell in a promo like this.

[1:14:09] So we've enlisted the help of piano rock superstar, Billy Joel, to tell you

[1:14:12] about some of the topics we've covered.

[1:14:13] Take it away.

[1:14:14] Real Billy Joel.

[1:14:16] Diddy Rock's been on Lakeside, Worsenshire, Circle Time, Sega, Dreamcast,

[1:14:20] Caesar, Sour, Tower of Annoyed, Kiwi, Yuppie, Time Capsules, Wayne's World,

[1:14:25] Cheese, Bulls, Wallace, Stevens, Donkey Kong, Funsize, Almond Joy.

[1:14:29] They didn't start the podcast, except that's not true.

[1:14:33] They didn't.

[1:14:34] Twenty two, they didn't start the podcast.

[1:14:38] No, they actually did.

[1:14:40] That was in fact a bib.

[1:14:42] Listen to Wonderful every Wednesday on MaximumFun.org or

[1:14:45] wherever you get your podcasts.

[1:14:47] Thanks, Real Billy Joel.

[1:14:48] No problem, Griffin.

[1:14:51] What's more action packed than prestige television?

[1:14:54] With more continuity than comic books?

[1:14:57] And more reality than reality television?

[1:14:59] One, two, three.

[1:15:03] It's professional wrestling.

[1:15:11] And to better understand wrestling is the ultimate form of entertainment.

[1:15:14] You need the Tights and Fights podcast.

[1:15:16] This is the perfect wrestling show with a lot of love, a lack of toxic

[1:15:20] masculinity, and just the right amount of butts, cats, and spandex.

[1:15:26] Listen to Tights and Fights every Saturday on Maximum Fun.

[1:15:32] The Flophouse is made possible in overwhelming measure by the kind

[1:15:38] support of listeners like you.

[1:15:40] But we also make room for a couple of sponsors.

[1:15:44] And this week we are sponsored by Factor.

[1:15:49] You know, fall can be a difficult season for a lot of people.

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[1:16:01] Shorter days can make it feel like there's less time, even though, you

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[1:16:47] Sometimes it's hard.

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[1:19:26] Hey, let's take a break from plugging other people to plug us, the Flophouse,

[1:19:32] your pals, sort of.

[1:19:34] If you live in the Chicago area and you don't have any plans for the evening

[1:19:38] of Sunday, November 16, we added a late show after our first show sold out.

[1:19:44] We'll be talking about K9 with Jim Belushi known worldwide as one of the two

[1:19:49] Belushis, the shows at Sleeping Village at 9 30 PM.

[1:19:52] And if you go to the events page at Flophousepodcast.com, you will

[1:19:56] find a link to tickets.

[1:19:57] Also, Flop TV is going.

[1:20:00] and strong. We just did our episode on Xanadu, a movie that, spoiler alert, I kind of like.

[1:20:09] And I'm recording this before we do our Xanadu presentation, actually, so we dropped into

[1:20:16] a later episode, so I can't say exactly how it went, but I can tell you that my presentation

[1:20:21] was on one of my 80s fixations. It was 80s night, so I focused on a 80s fixation of mine.

[1:20:29] The original cartoon, Jim, about Jim and the Holograms, a band fronted by a lady pretending

[1:20:37] to be another lady with the aid of a hologram machine that her dead dad left to her along

[1:20:43] with an orphanage, part ownership of a record company. Anyway, it's a wild show. I did a

[1:20:52] whole thing on it. You can get tickets or a season pass and not miss anything with that

[1:20:58] season pass because all of the episodes, even the ones that have already aired, will

[1:21:02] be available on demand through February of 2026. But if you want to join us live, those

[1:21:07] shows are on the first Saturday of every month. It's a video stream. We're doing film flops

[1:21:13] starting in the 2000s, going back to the 50s. Big finish this season will be Plan Nine from

[1:21:18] Outer Space, which we've never talked about. It's got presentations, pre-tapes, questions

[1:21:23] from the chat, so if you want to see the shows, go to theflophouse.symboltix.com. That's T-I-X

[1:21:28] for tix and get those tickets and more info. That's theflophouse.symboltix.com.

[1:21:35] Let's answer some letters from listeners. This first one is from Brian, last name withheld.

[1:21:42] And Brian writes, I'm an archeologist and frequently have long commutes to remote places

[1:21:47] and your podcast has been a constant companion for the last decade. When I was pulling into

[1:21:52] a work site last week, listening to episode 462, Imaginary, while sipping my coffee, Stuart

[1:22:00] and Dan were talking about the kid with the missing thumb and made some jokes about his

[1:22:06] inability to hitchhike. I guffawed appropriately, then took a long deep draw of coffee, at which

[1:22:11] point Elliot exclaimed, he was scheduled to be on Roper at the movies. And I proceeded

[1:22:16] to plaster my dash and windshield with coffee. It was a spit take for the ages. If every

[1:22:22] time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings, I hope something equally good happens for

[1:22:27] the three of you every time you've made someone lose a beverage. My question, my first time

[1:22:34] teaching at college was as a TA for a class called Archeology in the Movies, which used

[1:22:40] movies as a lens to understand popular sentiments about the past, indigenous cultures, heritage,

[1:22:47] et cetera, and compare them to what we actually do in the field.

[1:22:51] You taught about how archeologists routinely carry whips and have to sneak into submarines.

[1:22:57] I like the idea of it. He has long commutes to remote work sites. And in my mind, immediately

[1:23:02] it was like he leaves suburban New Jersey every morning to go to ancient Egypt.

[1:23:08] That fucking island with all the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.

[1:23:11] And then a little line goes on the map to show where he's going. If you had to design

[1:23:17] a similar syllabus to teach a class about your work or a personal interest through film,

[1:23:23] which movies would you include?

[1:23:25] I'm sorry to break in so fast, but for our work, it's obvious. It's Alex Inc. starring

[1:23:30] Zach Braff, right? I know it's not a movie technically, but if you put three episodes

[1:23:35] together, it's a sort of trilogy.

[1:23:37] Well, the thing is, it has the scope and ambition of a movie because TV is the new

[1:23:40] movies and the new novels. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:23:42] Yeah, of course. You're covering this extensively on podcast, movie, movie, podcast, your bonus

[1:23:47] content on the MaxPlan bonus feed about movies and TV that feature podcasting. Your love

[1:23:54] for Alex Inc. radiates from every episode.

[1:23:58] It's good that somebody finally got podcasting right on TV. I've seen I've seen I've seen

[1:24:06] TV shows featuring actual professional podcasters that don't seem to understand what podcasting

[1:24:11] is.

[1:24:12] Yeah, yeah.

[1:24:15] I I don't I we have watched a lot of podcast and podcast adjacent things for podcast, movie,

[1:24:22] movie, podcast, the bonus show that I've been doing with my Jordan, Jesse Goho, co-host

[1:24:26] Jordan Morris. None of them are anything that I would use to teach podcasting.

[1:24:30] So I picked my special interest, which is baseball. Yeah. Are there any movies about

[1:24:35] baseball? There are.

[1:24:37] There's that one about the champ that pitches. Right. Let me check the rulebook first.

[1:24:44] That's for your list of for your special interest movies with Jason Alexander.

[1:24:52] I I think about baseball movies a lot because I love baseball so much. I love movies so

[1:24:58] much. And there are like some favorites that I'm not as hot on as other people are, although

[1:25:05] I think they're perfectly fine. I like Bull Durham, but I don't love it. I thought Moneyball

[1:25:11] was fine. And a League of Their Own is is a charming film, but not one that I treasure.

[1:25:21] This is where you and me part ways. That's OK. We can still be friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:25:25] This is the ruffle feathers hour. I know. I know how important baseball and all sports

[1:25:30] are to you. I love it. But I thought everybody wants some is, I think, a wonderful movie.

[1:25:39] I know that there's some disagreement on that question on this program, but I know Stu's

[1:25:44] on my team. I think it's like one of the best expressions of. The way that it feels

[1:25:52] to be on a team at its best and also. The way it's like the best way of being a jock.

[1:26:03] Like being a jock in a in a really non-toxic way as like an expression of a sort of fraternal

[1:26:10] love and the joy of using your body. And like I only played baseball until I was like

[1:26:17] 15 or something, but that's definitely how I felt about playing baseball. Speaking of

[1:26:24] playing baseball, Ethos, which came out this past year, is a wonderful sort of low key

[1:26:31] movie about a wrecked baseball league and a wrecked baseball game that's going to be

[1:26:37] the last one at this park. And it's all these middle-aged men who have been playing wrecked

[1:26:43] baseball their whole adult lives. And like the sun is going down and the game is just

[1:26:49] played inning by inning. And it's just about them as this, you know, thing passes out of

[1:26:55] their lives. It's very charming, very funny, a really beautiful movie that really captures

[1:27:03] like the adult relationship with baseball, I think. There's a beautiful movie called

[1:27:10] Sugar that's maybe 15 or 20 years old now. It's about a Dominican player as he goes from

[1:27:19] the DR to the minor leagues and eventually washes out. That I think is sort of the one

[1:27:26] of the best depictions of playing baseball on screen and what I imagine the actual experience

[1:27:32] of professional baseball is like. Like I think people kind of imagine a major league

[1:27:38] type scenario, but this is a much more humane, human scale version of what a baseball player

[1:27:45] might actually be like in their life. Pride of the Yankees, which is like a very corny

[1:27:54] movie in a very sort of 1940 type way or 1950, whenever that movie came out. But I think

[1:28:00] it really is a good movie and is the kind of the appeal of the corniness of baseball

[1:28:10] to me. Like the idea of just a pure American hero, you know, like it's just a really nice

[1:28:17] pure American hero movie. Field of Dreams, which I like. A lot of baseball nerds hate

[1:28:24] Field of Dreams, but the idea of baseball as this kind of like, it's just kind of like

[1:28:31] a feeling about this vague past. It sort of captures the way that baseball is this kind

[1:28:39] of like timeless companion in a way that other sports aren't like there's some, I know, right?

[1:28:48] But like, you know, football is this like Titanic clash and basketball is this, you

[1:28:53] know, beautiful ballet. And baseball is just sort of like boring and always there, but

[1:29:01] also in the same way that like you could become as you get older, you become satisfied when

[1:29:09] you do the dishes. You know what I mean? Like it is like a friend, you know, it is a satisfaction.

[1:29:15] And that is about like being older and connecting with yourself as a child. And Field of Dreams

[1:29:22] captures that very well. And then I was trying to think of any documentary about baseball

[1:29:27] besides Ken Burns' baseball that's good. Ken Burns' baseball is good. It's like all the

[1:29:31] things that are wrong with Ken Burns. Like he really like, he really shaves edges off

[1:29:35] of things and, you know, shows archival footage of things that are not the thing that is being

[1:29:41] talked about and that sort of thing. And it's very corny, but it is genuinely very

[1:29:46] good. But I recommend it actually because I was thinking about it to Elliot that he

[1:29:50] watched with his son Sammy, a documentary called The Life and Times of Hank Greenberg

[1:29:54] that I think is a really interesting movie about baseball at its peak in the

[1:30:00] 1930s and

[1:30:03] Story of you know baseball as it relates to the you know, the immigrants in the United States and civil rights

[1:30:11] And also just sort of baseball when it was the central cultural force in American life

[1:30:18] So yeah, there's some baseball movies for you. Yeah. Well, my answer is gonna sound so woefully unthought-out

[1:30:26] After after that, but it's that BJ Novak movie about podcasting. Yeah. Well again, yeah

[1:30:32] Nothing has gotten podcasting right tusk

[1:30:35] Nothing has gotten podcasting, right? So I was thinking about

[1:30:40] Comedy and writing in general and like the thing is like also

[1:30:45] Famously like narrative movies have not gotten comedy right either like it's which is weird since so many of them are made by

[1:30:54] Comedians

[1:30:56] Remember when a really smart pretty good comedy writer wrote a really well reviewed

[1:31:02] Movie about late-night comedy that starred Emma Thompson the greatest world actor in the world of comedy and it was a B-minus

[1:31:10] Yeah, and I watched it and I was like none of this. None of this is how late-night comedy is made

[1:31:16] This is so wildly wrong about everything

[1:31:20] So I was gonna recommend

[1:31:22] There are a lot of great documentaries. Just like look up documentaries about comedy. I liked the Steve Martin one that was on Apple

[1:31:31] That's a good one in particular I think

[1:31:33] But there's a ton of them and on a jokier side, but not that jokey for just writing in general

[1:31:39] Maybe Barton Fink because it really captures the misery side of things

[1:31:44] But what about Larry Sanders, how do you feel about Larry Sanders Larry said that you know what that feels real

[1:31:50] I think some of it feels real

[1:31:52] exaggerated in the way that

[1:31:55] But the I think that

[1:31:57] The thing that gets me is that they get away they try to get away with the idea that there's essentially one writer on that

[1:32:02] Show, which there's two Elliot

[1:32:05] There's two but you only see one of them constantly carrying his laptop around all over the place

[1:32:09] but the I think it's a I think it's it's a

[1:32:13] once it's

[1:32:14] Undercutting how many people it takes to accomplish a show like that, but you can't have a show with

[1:32:20] 60 characters on it, you know

[1:32:22] But it's but it's but it gives the across the idea that like you can make a late-night

[1:32:26] Network television show with like a staff of ten, which you could never do, you know, yeah

[1:32:31] But you know, that's the kind of thing you have to put your money where your mouth is

[1:32:35] What do you have to say about movies that reflect something?

[1:32:39] I mean I was gonna take the easy way out and I'll be like I'm gonna teach a class about New York in the 70s

[1:32:43] There's a ton of movies about that, you know

[1:32:46] but I think there's a I

[1:32:48] would find it really hard to do something about my work like you're saying using movies because

[1:32:53] writing is not a

[1:32:55] visually interesting

[1:32:57] Thing to do it's it's such an internal

[1:33:00] Process and even writing a TV show where it's a lot of collaboration between people. It's still you're talking in a room. And so

[1:33:06] And the one thing that comes close is I guess I remember when I was a segment producer at The Daily Show

[1:33:11] My dad was like is it like the scene in broadcast news where she's got to get that tape really?

[1:33:17] Fast and I'm like, yeah, it is like that. I do a lot of running through halls with tapes to get there

[1:33:21] That's a that's a pretty good movie about TV. Yeah

[1:33:25] And for me when it comes to running a bar in New York City, there's a couple of movies

[1:33:31] I mean, I'll put cocktail up there because it's kind of done like it's done

[1:33:36] It's a dumb movie and it's not accurate to what being a bartender is like and in a way a lot of it is like

[1:33:41] Yeah, you don't do this

[1:33:42] You don't get up and like sing like 50s fucking pop songs or like read poetry while standing in a busy bar

[1:33:49] Like no, you're slinging drinks idiot. I already ugly. Yeah coyote. Obviously coyote ugly

[1:33:55] I'm also I'm definitely gonna I would definitely show support the girls from what 2018

[1:34:02] Just because it really highlights the way that like a restaurant or bar

[1:34:06] Like the community that grows out of it and also the way that running that business requires you to manage so many different things

[1:34:14] And it's really complicated. I think that's that's a really good example

[1:34:19] And then I would also I'm gonna weirdly enough. I'm gonna do to Darren Aronofsky movies

[1:34:24] The first is the recent caught stealing a movie

[1:34:27] I don't actually think is very good, but the bar stuff I think is actually pretty accurate to my experience of

[1:34:34] bartending in New York City

[1:34:36] It's a baseball movie, right? He wears a Giants hat. He played for the Giants, right?

[1:34:40] Yeah, there's also baseball element and I liked caught stealing so I'm going to be the pro costume. Okay? Yeah

[1:34:46] I mean, I think I would say it's a mixed movie as far as reviews are concerned

[1:34:51] And then I would also for I think the most accurate depiction to my experience bartending is Darren Aronofsky's mother

[1:34:58] That's what I'm gonna say because it is like that is like every fucking bartending stress dream that has like kept me up

[1:35:06] Just like that feeling that people will not stop coming into your bar and are behaving like maniacs

[1:35:11] And you're just trying to get out of there that scene where they keep sitting on the sink

[1:35:17] like bars

[1:35:21] People like no don't climb and stand on top of a table lady. I know it's your birthday

[1:35:28] Did they give you that table? Yeah, is that your table that you brought from home?

[1:35:33] We don't allow outside tables in my establishment

[1:35:37] Wait, so I just tried to bring in the periodic table and you're like get the fuck out of here

[1:35:42] Hey, was that just one question? I can't one question. Yes. Okay. I have to find the

[1:35:48] Little letters

[1:35:50] We went so long that I like was like, okay now I'll sorry we gave all gave thought no

[1:35:55] It's uh, okay. Here's the other letter. This is from Adam lasting withheld. Hey dudes. How you doing?

[1:36:03] That's what you had to find in

[1:36:06] Yeah, what's wrong with you Adam? Why'd you write that in?

[1:36:09] No, Adam writes. I was a graduate student in Pittsburgh when the Dark Knight Rises was filming

[1:36:14] I was unfortunately away while filming was happening

[1:36:17] But I had friends who are extras and some of the big fight scenes

[1:36:20] But the lab I worked at was the building that they used as City Hall and the final

[1:36:25] Confrontation between Batman and Bane took place in the lobby. I walked through every morning. I

[1:36:30] Don't think the movie is particularly good. But as a graduate school at but as graduate school was not

[1:36:35] I think the movie is very bad as a graduate school. Yeah, you're not gonna get a degree from Dark Knight Rises

[1:36:40] It's a certificate program at best

[1:36:43] Exactly I don't think the movie is particularly good. Excuse me. I have a law degree from Dark Knight Rises

[1:36:49] What is this

[1:36:52] Where did you get this who gave you this but it's a beautiful paper

[1:37:00] But as graduate school was not very good for my health the Batmobile

[1:37:05] Shooting the building in the face has a special place in my heart

[1:37:08] My question is this do you have any movies where you like watching one scene and then you turn it off?

[1:37:14] But you've seen that scene a ton of times because you like it so much

[1:37:17] Thanks for your podcast and attention Adam last name withheld. I

[1:37:21] Think the closest answer I have to this and it might make me some enemies

[1:37:25] I don't love the movie Streets of Fire, but I do love the opening song in Streets of Fire

[1:37:31] Yeah, that scene is when I'll just put on and watch it because I love the way he puts together

[1:37:35] I love the song. I think it's so that it really gets me going before a meeting if I have a pitch or something

[1:37:40] That's a song. I'll listen to beforehand, but I don't love the rest of the movies

[1:37:43] I don't watch the rest of them. All right, like when I when when I got this question

[1:37:47] I didn't really consider like I only want to watch this scene. I don't like the rest of the movie as much

[1:37:52] I have thought of it more as like what is one scene that kind of encapsulates the vibe of the whole movie?

[1:37:58] And thus, you know and for me that is the scene in Unforgiven with Gene Hackman

[1:38:06] Talking in the jailhouse

[1:38:08] With what's-his-name Saul?

[1:38:12] Yeah

[1:38:13] And there it's such a great scene. It's like a full movie in one scene. It's so great

[1:38:20] The rest of the movie is great, too. But I feel like that is just it's such like a beautiful

[1:38:25] Beautiful bit of acting and writing and yeah, it's awesome

[1:38:28] I'm sure I have some of my own but I what sprung to mind just now was

[1:38:34] There's a lot of there's a lot of online videos. Well, you'll just watch a little bit of it and finish it

[1:38:39] Uh-huh. I got what I needed. You kind of don't need the setup or the wrap up the setup

[1:38:46] Is I'm an old man watching a lot of videos are on lately

[1:38:51] Yeah, I don't need the setup

[1:38:54] Fantasy that sets up this circumstance

[1:38:56] Okay. Anyway, not that

[1:38:59] No, I was

[1:39:00] again, this is not a movie that like we don't like the rest of the movie like the whole movie, but

[1:39:06] there was a period of time when

[1:39:08] Audrey when she didn't know what else to watch would throw on

[1:39:13] the recent Dungeons & Dragons honor among thieves and

[1:39:17] Specifically

[1:39:19] watch the opening where he keeps waiting for Jonathan to show up and asking where Jonathan is and

[1:39:25] The scene with the corpses who have to answer questions

[1:39:29] So I'm not a big watcher of movies that I don't

[1:39:33] Like I will go out of my way to make sure that I'm gonna at least kind of like a movie before I'm willing

[1:39:39] To spend my life watching it unless I'm get to see three of my favorite friends in the world and be a guest on their

[1:39:44] podcast

[1:39:46] So I was thinking like what is a movie where I like a scene but don't like other parts of it

[1:39:51] The best I could come up with was the movie dirty work

[1:39:54] Which actually has a few parts that I like and you know, Norm Macdonald was

[1:40:00] is, like most people my age, worth knowing,

[1:40:04] but also emotionally broken, my hero when I was 14.

[1:40:09] And there's some real funny stuff in Dirty Work,

[1:40:12] but I watched the whole movie.

[1:40:15] It's not a good movie, necessarily.

[1:40:18] But I could watch any day,

[1:40:21] like the part where they're about to get in a bar fight

[1:40:27] and Chris Farley goes, puts a quarter

[1:40:29] into the jukebox and goes,

[1:40:30] street fighting man, Rolling Stones, El Savon!

[1:40:34] But then he accidentally presses L8

[1:40:36] and the Pina Colada song comes on.

[1:40:37] Yeah, I remember that having a lot of,

[1:40:42] yeah, like very good isolated bits in it.

[1:40:45] Yeah, Chevy Chase is crazy funny in that movie.

[1:40:48] Yeah, so let's do recommendations,

[1:40:52] movies that would be a better use of your time than Smurfs.

[1:40:56] And I'm gonna pull out,

[1:40:57] we were talking about The Dark Knight Rises

[1:41:01] just a moment ago, another Dark Knight,

[1:41:04] The Darkest. We were talking

[1:41:05] about that, weren't we?

[1:41:05] Yeah. The Darkest Knight,

[1:41:07] of course, Batman 66,

[1:41:10] the Batman movie from 1966.

[1:41:13] My friends and I have been watching,

[1:41:17] doing a watch of the whole Batman series recently

[1:41:20] on Sunday nights, which is of course delightful.

[1:41:24] And at the end of the first season,

[1:41:26] before we started the second season,

[1:41:28] that's when the Batman movie came out.

[1:41:30] And so we slotted that in there and watched that recently.

[1:41:33] And it's just so much fun.

[1:41:35] You know, you go through this thing when, as a kid,

[1:41:37] you don't quite understand that this is essentially

[1:41:41] a comedy show that you're watching.

[1:41:43] Like you're watching a Batman show,

[1:41:45] seriously, because you're a kid,

[1:41:47] and you're like, why is it so weird?

[1:41:49] Why is it so goofy?

[1:41:50] Like, oh, this is dumb, but you like it.

[1:41:53] But you're like, this is dumb.

[1:41:54] And then you realize, oh, that's all intentionally dumb.

[1:41:56] These are all jokes in here, and they're really good.

[1:41:59] It's the old thing of like people being like,

[1:42:02] ugh, I feel like there's a long time,

[1:42:04] they're like, ugh, it's so campy,

[1:42:05] as if comedy was not the purpose of the show.

[1:42:08] Like, ugh, they were trying to make a serious Batman show,

[1:42:11] and they screwed it up

[1:42:12] because they didn't know what they were doing.

[1:42:13] But also, sorry, go ahead.

[1:42:15] One of my kids went through a Batman period,

[1:42:18] and we watched this.

[1:42:19] And like the thing that struck me is just,

[1:42:23] Adam West is really funny.

[1:42:25] He's so good in it, yeah.

[1:42:26] He is really funny.

[1:42:28] And not like I'm a ridiculous man,

[1:42:32] and they gave me things to say that make me look funny.

[1:42:35] Like, he is on purpose super funny in it.

[1:42:38] Well, and similar, I think it's,

[1:42:39] like I was just saying about the show,

[1:42:40] I think Adam West did not get the credit he deserved

[1:42:43] for that, where it was like, ugh, he's so,

[1:42:45] like it was as if it was a flaw of his performance

[1:42:48] that it is hilarious,

[1:42:49] when that is exactly what he's going for.

[1:42:50] He is playing a guy who is unaware of how ridiculous

[1:42:53] the things he's doing are, you know, and that kind of thing.

[1:42:55] But it's, you know, he's great at it.

[1:42:57] It can simultaneously be funny and campy

[1:42:59] and have like, like there's some great villain performances

[1:43:03] in there, like Frank Gorshin and Burgess Meredith

[1:43:05] in particular, I think are super amazing.

[1:43:09] I mean, like also Julie Newmar's Catwoman,

[1:43:13] just like terrific performances in this silly show.

[1:43:18] When my kid was going through that Batman period,

[1:43:21] I talked to a friend of Max Vaughn

[1:43:22] and friend of this show, Glenn Weldon

[1:43:23] from Pop Culture Happy Hour,

[1:43:25] who wrote a wonderful book about Batman

[1:43:28] called The Caped Crusade.

[1:43:30] And I asked him like, what's the Batman thing I would enjoy?

[1:43:34] And he recommended the comic Batman 66,

[1:43:37] which we bought a few like compilations of.

[1:43:40] And it really is a blast.

[1:43:43] And I had a great time also reading those like 50s,

[1:43:47] early 60s, you know, Calendar Man era

[1:43:50] Batman compilations as well.

[1:43:52] Like, I was like, this is genuinely fun to look at

[1:43:55] and really fun to read.

[1:43:57] Yeah, so if you haven't checked out in a while,

[1:43:59] Batman 66, Batman the movie, I don't know,

[1:44:02] just called Batman.

[1:44:04] The scene where-

[1:44:05] Do you remember when he's running around with the bomb?

[1:44:08] I was gonna say, the scene where he's trying

[1:44:10] to get rid of that bomb is one of the funniest scenes

[1:44:13] actually in all the movies.

[1:44:13] And to watch that scene and not realize

[1:44:15] you're watching a comedy.

[1:44:17] Like when he sees the little ducks and he's like,

[1:44:19] oh, you can't get rid of the bomb there.

[1:44:21] Bunch of nuns.

[1:44:23] Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb.

[1:44:25] Like I said-

[1:44:26] To a point where he's just like racing around

[1:44:27] like the same like triangle,

[1:44:28] like running into the marching band with the tubas.

[1:44:31] And it's just great.

[1:44:33] Stuart.

[1:44:34] So Dan just recommended a man movie.

[1:44:36] I'll recommend a man movie.

[1:44:38] That's right, a few weeks ago,

[1:44:40] I went to a screening of Roofman.

[1:44:43] The screening I went to,

[1:44:44] this is directed by Derek Cianfrance.

[1:44:47] And the screening I went to actually had a Q&A

[1:44:50] with Mr. Channing Tatum himself, the star of the movie.

[1:44:54] Now this is a movie that's based on a real life story

[1:44:58] of a man who escaped prison and hid inside of the ceiling.

[1:45:05] And then later on inside the building of a Toys R Us store.

[1:45:09] This is a period piece.

[1:45:12] It's set in the 90s.

[1:45:13] And his life gets more complicated

[1:45:16] when his desires to run away and be free

[1:45:19] are complicated by his relationship

[1:45:22] that he forms with one of the employees of the Toys R Us

[1:45:25] played by Kirsten Dunst.

[1:45:27] And this is a movie that for one

[1:45:30] is like set in the world of like,

[1:45:33] I don't know like strip malls and like suburban America.

[1:45:38] And it feels like so like fresh and unique.

[1:45:40] Like it feels like I'm in a fucking different country

[1:45:42] watching this.

[1:45:44] Even though this is like a world that I lived in

[1:45:46] and grew up in and like,

[1:45:47] even though the circumstances are different,

[1:45:50] but they're spending so much time in this Toys R Us.

[1:45:52] It really like took me back to my,

[1:45:55] if you've worked retail at all,

[1:45:57] like it took me back to that time in my life

[1:45:59] where my world was so focused around this little place

[1:46:04] that sold stuff and the routine of it.

[1:46:07] And like, I don't know, it's just kind of magical.

[1:46:10] And I think the movie is a little bit too long.

[1:46:14] It could be tightened a little bit,

[1:46:15] but there's so many great performances

[1:46:17] and there's so many great performances in small roles.

[1:46:20] Peter Dinklage plays the manager and he's such a creep.

[1:46:23] And also like he gets involved

[1:46:25] in Kirsten Dunst's character's church

[1:46:27] where the leaders of the church are played

[1:46:29] by Ben Mendelsohn and Uzo Aduba.

[1:46:31] And there's a scene where Ben Mendelsohn

[1:46:33] is like leading the show choir with this feathered hair.

[1:46:36] And it's just so much fun.

[1:46:38] And I think part of it's also this idea

[1:46:40] that this man is like struggling

[1:46:41] with the choices he's made

[1:46:42] and he knows what he probably should do,

[1:46:47] but what his head is saying

[1:46:50] and what his heart is saying are different things.

[1:46:51] And I think it's a really interesting movie

[1:46:53] and it's very sad, but it's also kind of beautiful.

[1:46:56] So I enjoyed it.

[1:46:57] Check it out.

[1:46:59] I'm gonna recommend,

[1:47:00] I figured we talked about Smurfs in this episode.

[1:47:02] I know it seems like it's been a long time

[1:47:03] since we talked about Smurfs,

[1:47:04] but that was just this episode.

[1:47:06] And I was thinking about what are kids movies

[1:47:10] that accomplish something more like what the Smurfs,

[1:47:13] I would assume them to be doing,

[1:47:14] which is more gentle or quiet in a way.

[1:47:17] I couldn't think of anything exactly,

[1:47:18] but I remembered of the movie

[1:47:19] that came out last year called Flow.

[1:47:22] That's an animated movie about some animals

[1:47:24] that have to escape a flood basically.

[1:47:26] There's no dialogue.

[1:47:27] It's very quiet and very, I found it very slow,

[1:47:30] but my younger son really loved it.

[1:47:32] Like he was really absorbed in it.

[1:47:34] And I thought it delivered to him,

[1:47:37] I think a very, there's danger in it,

[1:47:39] like there's stakes in it,

[1:47:41] but it is a very comforting movie in some ways

[1:47:45] because it is not hyperactive, like it's not loud.

[1:47:48] And so I think for a kid who wants to watch a movie

[1:47:52] and does not wanna watch something

[1:47:53] that is about a magic battle to save the universe,

[1:47:56] or you think is not in the mood for that kind of thing,

[1:47:58] then Flow really worked well for him

[1:48:00] as something that he could live in for a little bit

[1:48:03] and enjoy without it amping up his adrenaline

[1:48:06] every minute of every moment of it.

[1:48:09] So that's what I recommend.

[1:48:10] It's interesting.

[1:48:11] It is a movie that has those stakes, right?

[1:48:13] Like it's still scary at times,

[1:48:16] but I feel like there's a gentleness to it, I guess.

[1:48:20] Yeah, yeah.

[1:48:21] And I think it's all,

[1:48:22] so much of it is in the pace and the tone of it,

[1:48:24] that it is not trying to shove emotions down your throat

[1:48:26] or shove excitement down your throat.

[1:48:28] It's not an exciting movie.

[1:48:29] It's got a really, really good capybara in it.

[1:48:32] And there is a good capybara in it, yeah.

[1:48:33] I know how you feel about capybaras, but still.

[1:48:36] I figured like, I was thinking like,

[1:48:40] what movies have I seen recently that are recommendable?

[1:48:42] Then I was like,

[1:48:43] well, when am I gonna get to be on The Flophouse again?

[1:48:45] I should just recommend my favorite movie.

[1:48:47] Yeah.

[1:48:49] So I really love.

[1:48:51] So, Boxing Helena.

[1:48:52] Yeah.

[1:48:53] Yeah.

[1:48:54] Yeah.

[1:48:55] Yeah.

[1:48:56] Yeah.

[1:48:57] Christmas with the Cranks.

[1:48:58] All ladies do it.

[1:48:59] Yeah.

[1:49:01] My father served on an aircraft carrier

[1:49:04] early in the Vietnam War,

[1:49:07] specifically in the war against Laos and Cambodia.

[1:49:13] And one of his jobs on the carrier

[1:49:17] was he operated the projector room in the movie theater.

[1:49:21] And there was like this horrible piece of it,

[1:49:23] which was that one of the things that he projected

[1:49:25] was tail films from the airplanes that were on the carrier.

[1:49:29] But the good thing was that he got to see the movie

[1:49:32] A Thousand Clowns over a hundred times.

[1:49:37] That's a hundred thousand clowns.

[1:49:38] Yeah.

[1:49:39] So many clowns.

[1:49:41] And my parents were very bitterly divorced.

[1:49:44] My dad's gone now,

[1:49:45] but my parents were very bitterly divorced.

[1:49:47] And A Thousand Clowns was like the only thing

[1:49:50] besides James Brown that they agreed on.

[1:49:52] Like the only thing that they both spoke fondly of.

[1:49:54] Everything else was divided in the divorce.

[1:49:56] Like somebody had to give up Nina Simone.

[1:49:58] But.

[1:50:00] but A Thousand Clowns, they always agreed on.

[1:50:03] It is a movie from the early 1960s,

[1:50:07] the sort of just pre-hippie counterculture 1960s.

[1:50:13] It was originally a play,

[1:50:14] and the playwright based the protagonist,

[1:50:18] who's played by Jason Robards,

[1:50:20] on Gene Shepard, who was a legendary radio essayist,

[1:50:24] but also, you know, the basis of the movie,

[1:50:27] the Christmas story, but it's about this comedy writer

[1:50:33] who is out of work and takes care of his 13-year-old nephew

[1:50:38] who is like a super precocious, neurodivergent weirdo,

[1:50:44] and he is trying to find a job

[1:50:49] because otherwise, CPS will take the kid away,

[1:50:53] and Robards' character is just a classic comedy writer guy,

[1:50:59] and that he is unbelievably charming,

[1:51:04] unbelievably fascinating,

[1:51:07] like a guy that wants this kid that he truly loves

[1:51:13] to have like every vision of what is special

[1:51:16] and amazing about the world, right?

[1:51:19] You know, my mom often talks

[1:51:22] about Irving R. Feldman's birthday,

[1:51:24] which is the birthday of the guy that runs the junkyard

[1:51:27] that every year, Jason Robards' character

[1:51:30] takes the kid out of school for,

[1:51:34] and the conflict in this movie

[1:51:39] is not between Robards' character and CPS,

[1:51:44] although the guy that plays Mr. Feeney,

[1:51:49] it's the CPS guy, and he does a wonderful job,

[1:51:52] and there's a-

[1:51:53] William Daniels.

[1:51:54] Yeah, and there's a very sweet love story

[1:51:58] with Barbara Harris, who's the lady CPS worker,

[1:52:03] but ultimately, the conflict is that Robards

[1:52:10] is so deeply committed to his values

[1:52:14] of the world being a magical, amazing place

[1:52:21] that he can't accept the idea

[1:52:23] that he has to take responsibility for his life, right?

[1:52:27] That he thinks that it's okay for him

[1:52:29] to think of himself as so special

[1:52:33] that he doesn't have to take a shitty job

[1:52:37] so that he gets to keep his kid,

[1:52:40] and this central conflict is he's going out for these jobs

[1:52:44] and he's disqualifying himself for every one,

[1:52:47] and he ultimately has to face

[1:52:50] whether he's gonna go work on the Chuckles the Chipmunk show

[1:52:53] with his old boss that he hated,

[1:52:57] and Chuckles the Chipmunk is an extraordinary performance

[1:53:01] of the just desperation and sadness of show business,

[1:53:06] and it's a movie that moves me to tears

[1:53:10] every time I watch it,

[1:53:11] because it reminds me of how difficult it is

[1:53:15] when you are an idealist who's dedicated your life

[1:53:21] to laughing and joking and stuff,

[1:53:23] and maybe you're even good at it,

[1:53:25] that what really matters is that you take responsibility

[1:53:30] for your relationship with the other people in your life,

[1:53:33] right, that you can't just be a solipsist,

[1:53:36] you can't just be a heel who's so charming

[1:53:41] that he gets away with it, you know,

[1:53:45] and it's also a very interesting film,

[1:53:50] technically, it was a play originally,

[1:53:52] and there's not much that happens out in the world,

[1:53:56] and so if you've ever read that book

[1:53:57] When the Shooting Stops about film editing,

[1:54:01] there's a whole chapter in there

[1:54:02] about all the things they did to enliven the film

[1:54:07] in the editing room, there's a lot of montages

[1:54:12] that take advantage of a lot of stock footage

[1:54:15] to depict the rat race,

[1:54:19] and it's a very, like, it's a very countercultural,

[1:54:23] it's a very vivid reminder that there was a counterculture

[1:54:26] before there was hippies,

[1:54:29] that there was something, I think it reminds me a lot

[1:54:34] of my late friend Mal Sharp, who was one of the creators

[1:54:38] of the Max Fun Podcast, Coyle and Sharp,

[1:54:43] in that he was in the early 1960s before hippies

[1:54:47] doing things that were really magical and incredible,

[1:54:50] and so yeah, it is the, in the question,

[1:54:56] what is the best depiction of making comedy,

[1:54:59] it is not my best depiction of making comedy,

[1:55:02] because there's no comedy made in the film,

[1:55:05] it's about a guy who can't get a job making comedy,

[1:55:10] but in terms of depiction of the emotional life

[1:55:14] of someone who is driven to create comedy,

[1:55:17] it is the most compelling film I've ever seen,

[1:55:21] because it is ultimately about,

[1:55:23] like, again, that conflict between thinking of yourself

[1:55:27] as special and realizing that your job on Earth

[1:55:31] is not to be special, it is to take care of other people,

[1:55:36] and yeah, the ending is ambivalent enough,

[1:55:42] in terms of where this guy goes and what kind of guy he is,

[1:55:46] that Gene Shepard actually severed his relationship

[1:55:51] with his friend that wrote the play and film,

[1:55:55] because he felt it was too scathing of him

[1:55:58] being a manic pixie dream boy,

[1:56:02] but I find it inspirational,

[1:56:06] like, it reminds me why I am,

[1:56:12] besides being a comedy guy, also a comedy dad,

[1:56:14] like, why I'm so grateful to work with Jordan

[1:56:18] and John Hodgman, who are people

[1:56:21] who will go put up flyers with me

[1:56:23] at all the campus bus stops, you know what I mean?

[1:56:25] Yeah.

[1:56:27] And it's a really beautiful movie.

[1:56:31] It is on Blu-ray, you can get it on Blu-ray,

[1:56:34] sometimes it is on AMC, but also,

[1:56:39] let's say you had a tube

[1:56:42] that you could type 1,000 clowns into

[1:56:44] and then filter by length,

[1:56:46] I bet you could find it there if you wanted to.

[1:56:49] I'll also say this, guys,

[1:56:51] I love the movie Pee-wee's Big Adventure,

[1:56:53] there's gonna be a 4K Blu-ray from Criterion coming out,

[1:56:56] and your boy wrote the essay,

[1:56:57] with a lot of help from my friend Elliot Kalin.

[1:56:59] Oh, cool.

[1:57:00] Not a lot of help.

[1:57:01] Thrilled to see that.

[1:57:02] I'm excited to get a copy of that myself.

[1:57:04] I'm gonna second your 1,000 Clowns recommendations,

[1:57:06] it's a great movie.

[1:57:07] And you wouldn't know it,

[1:57:09] but you're all familiar with the work

[1:57:10] of the actor who plays the kid, Barry Gordon,

[1:57:13] because he went on to be the original voice of Donatello.

[1:57:15] Yeah, he also sang All I Want for Christmas

[1:57:20] Is My Two Front Teeth,

[1:57:21] and he was president of SAG-AFTRA.

[1:57:24] He's the longest serving president of SAG.

[1:57:26] But it's a great movie.

[1:57:27] That performance that Gene Sachs gives

[1:57:29] as Chuckles the Chipmunk is astonishing.

[1:57:32] It's such a,

[1:57:35] I think it's the best performance

[1:57:38] of an incredibly self-centered, narcissistic,

[1:57:42] low self-esteem performer

[1:57:44] that maybe I've seen in a movie.

[1:57:46] It's so hurtful all the time.

[1:57:48] If you read When the Shooting Stops,

[1:57:50] he was a replacement cast member in a reshoot.

[1:57:54] They just sort of brought him in four months or something

[1:57:58] after they finished the movie.

[1:58:00] And it is the most extraordinary performance.

[1:58:03] And What's-His-Face, who plays his brother,

[1:58:05] actually won the Oscar?

[1:58:07] Yeah, awesome.

[1:58:08] This is the movie he won his Academy Award for,

[1:58:10] was for Best Supporting Actor for this movie.

[1:58:11] He's really wonderful in it

[1:58:13] as the Jason Robards character's brother and agent,

[1:58:18] who is a fruit enthusiast and thus very relatable to me.

[1:58:22] But not to Elliot.

[1:58:23] No.

[1:58:24] It's the one thing I don't like about him.

[1:58:25] It's like there's some kind of alien monster in this movie.

[1:58:29] Jesse, speaking of doing shameful things

[1:58:33] as a necessary part of a showbiz career,

[1:58:36] you care so much about your show, Bullseye,

[1:58:39] that you watch the Smurfs as they become on our show.

[1:58:43] Do you wanna plug it before we sign off?

[1:58:47] Yeah, well, first of all, I watch the Smurfs

[1:58:49] so that I could spend some extra time

[1:58:50] with three of my favorite guys on Earth.

[1:58:53] I love you guys all very much.

[1:58:54] You're such wonderful friends.

[1:58:56] I'm so grateful you're in my life.

[1:58:58] But yeah, also, it's the 25th anniversary

[1:59:00] of my public radio program, Bullseye,

[1:59:02] that I started 25 years ago in Santa Cruz, California

[1:59:05] as a college sophomore with my friend, Jordan Morris,

[1:59:09] who's been a guest on the show,

[1:59:11] who was my resident on the hall that I was the RA of.

[1:59:17] But yeah, I've been interviewing figures

[1:59:19] in the world of arts and culture for 25 years on Bullseye,

[1:59:22] including many people from the world of film.

[1:59:26] One that stands out is maybe six years ago,

[1:59:30] I got to interview Pedro Almodovar,

[1:59:33] and it was a really extraordinary experience.

[1:59:37] I've gotten to interview Mike Lee two times.

[1:59:39] That's probably my favorite living filmmaker.

[1:59:44] You like funny movies, don't you?

[1:59:45] Ryan Johnson's coming in in a few weeks.

[1:59:47] It's always, Ryan's been a guest on the show several times,

[1:59:51] and he's one of the best guys around,

[1:59:53] as well as many movie stars.

[1:59:57] But it's in-depth conversations.

[2:00:00] about where art comes from with people who make stuff

[2:00:05] that's awesome.

[2:00:07] Yeah, I'm hard to please when it comes to interviews.

[2:00:09] It's not my usual thing.

[2:00:11] I think you're my favorite interviewer.

[2:00:14] I enjoy what you do.

[2:00:16] Thank you, Dan.

[2:00:16] So, but.

[2:00:17] What about you, Stu?

[2:00:19] Who's your favorite?

[2:00:20] Is it me or?

[2:00:22] It's the Hot Ones guy, isn't it?

[2:00:24] It's the guy from Hot Ones.

[2:00:26] The thing is like.

[2:00:27] Yeah, he makes you eat chicken.

[2:00:29] Yeah, I mean, I just like.

[2:00:30] Like hot chicken.

[2:00:31] Yeah, he's like my favorite bald interviewer.

[2:00:35] Yeah.

[2:00:36] Elliot's favorite interview, by the way,

[2:00:38] is the chicken wings from Hot Ones.

[2:00:40] It's not even the guy from Hot Ones.

[2:00:41] They do great work.

[2:00:42] I actually, I'm a huge.

[2:00:43] You're my second favorite after that guy

[2:00:44] who did the interview with the vampire,

[2:00:45] because that's tough.

[2:00:46] That's scary.

[2:00:48] You're taking your life in your hands.

[2:00:49] It takes guts, yeah.

[2:00:50] You know, the Slate Man.

[2:00:53] Well, not the actor who played the character.

[2:00:55] Christian Slater.

[2:00:55] No, it was him.

[2:00:56] Christian Slater, the actor, did it.

[2:00:58] He's my favorite interviewer.

[2:00:59] Talk to him.

[2:01:00] The actor, Christian Slater.

[2:01:01] Oh, to the man.

[2:01:01] Yeah.

[2:01:03] Well, yeah, it's Michael.

[2:01:05] It's what, Michael Sheen doing David Frost?

[2:01:08] That's my favorite.

[2:01:08] Yeah.

[2:01:10] Man, what a dumb movie at times.

[2:01:12] Oh, okay.

[2:01:13] The way they like mix in.

[2:01:14] We can't.

[2:01:15] Footage of the.

[2:01:16] I didn't like it either,

[2:01:16] but we can't litigate Frost Dixon, right?

[2:01:18] We should do a mini about Frost Dixon,

[2:01:20] where it's like, why do we have the actors

[2:01:21] playing the historical figures,

[2:01:23] doing talking heads to the camera,

[2:01:25] as if this is a documentary?

[2:01:27] Like, what is this?

[2:01:28] Very irritating.

[2:01:29] Yeah.

[2:01:31] So, that's the perfect note to sign off on.

[2:01:33] Mm-hmm.

[2:01:35] Thank you to Jesse for being here

[2:01:38] and watching Smurfs, despite his reaction to it.

[2:01:41] Thank you to Alex Smith, our producer.

[2:01:43] He goes by HowlDotty online.

[2:01:45] You can find all of his creative works

[2:01:47] scattered across the internet.

[2:01:49] Thank you to Maximum Fun.

[2:01:52] You can find other podcasts at MaximumFun.org.

[2:01:55] Many, many years ago, Jesse said,

[2:01:57] hey, what about you guys coming on Maximum Fun?

[2:02:01] And it was a dream come true

[2:02:03] as someone who really loved Jordan and Jesse Go

[2:02:07] and a lot of the podcasts on Maximum Fun,

[2:02:09] and it's been a great fit.

[2:02:11] So, thank you again, Jesse.

[2:02:13] Check out the other podcasts.

[2:02:14] I just saw our friend Al Madrigal,

[2:02:17] who owned the podcast network

[2:02:18] that you guys were with previously.

[2:02:20] Yeah.

[2:02:21] And I was reminded that, first of all,

[2:02:23] I'm still very good friends with Al Madrigal,

[2:02:24] but I was reminded that he texted me,

[2:02:26] I'm so mad at you for taking away the Flophouse.

[2:02:29] I know, and you don't want to be

[2:02:31] on the wrong side of Al Madrigal.

[2:02:33] He said, I'm so mad at you for taking away the Flophouse.

[2:02:35] He was a professional firing person for years.

[2:02:38] He's like, I'm so mad at you,

[2:02:40] and he's like, the reason,

[2:02:42] like, I understand why they did it.

[2:02:43] It makes so much more sense at Maximum Fun,

[2:02:46] but that's the one show of ours

[2:02:47] that me and Chris didn't listen to.

[2:02:50] Oh, that's a very nice thing to hear.

[2:02:52] It's sweet, and it makes me feel bad.

[2:02:55] Well, sorry, Al, thank you, Al,

[2:02:57] if you're still out there.

[2:02:58] No, Al still loves you, don't worry.

[2:03:01] Well, for the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

[2:03:04] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[2:03:06] I'm Ellie Kaelin, and I'm so happy

[2:03:07] that we had our guest today, Jesse Thorne.

[2:03:12] Bye, everyone.

[2:03:21] Together, there's almost 50 years,

[2:03:22] no, there's more than 50 years,

[2:03:25] and I was just gonna do two shows together,

[2:03:26] but all of us individually,

[2:03:27] there's nearly a century of podcasting experience

[2:03:31] on the Zoom.

[2:03:32] So our sound quality is gonna rock.

[2:03:35] Yeah, certainly can.

[2:03:37] I'm radio, almost 30-year radio professional,

[2:03:40] Jesse Thorne.

[2:03:41] Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

[2:03:44] No, I got four candy corns left.

[2:03:47] Okay, we'll get it.

[2:03:48] Candy corns?

[2:03:49] Stop chewing that candy corn.

[2:03:50] Yeah, grip it and rip it, baby.

[2:03:52] Are we ready?

[2:03:54] Okay.

[2:03:55] Don't grip it too hard, and don't rip it too hard.

[2:03:58] It's a good point.

[2:03:59] Well, you gotta grip it hard if you're gonna rip it hard.

[2:04:00] But not too hard,

[2:04:01] because you wanna leave ripping room.

[2:04:04] Firm, but loose.

[2:04:05] All right, here we go.

[2:04:07] Maximum fun.

[2:04:09] A worker-owned network.

[2:04:10] Of artist-owned shows.

[2:04:12] Supported.

[2:04:12] Directly.

[2:04:13] By you.

Ep.#465 - Smurfs, with Jesse Thorn

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