Ep.#466 - The One, with Michael Shanks

Dan McCoy

[0:00] Hey, listeners, just a few quick words up at the top to remind you that Flop TV is going on right now.

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[0:50] On this episode, we discuss The One.

Stuart Wellington

[0:53] A movie so filled with nu metal that it is only allowed to see its children on weekends.

Dan McCoy

[1:23] Hey, everyone.

[1:25] Welcome to The Flophouse.

[1:26] I'm Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27] Oh, hey, Dan.

[1:28] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:30] Dan, Stuart, allow me to introduce myself.

[1:32] My name is Elliot Kalin, and I think I have the answers to your problems.

Stuart Wellington

[1:36] Oh, that's nice to hear.

[1:37] And we are joined today.

[1:38] Wait, wait, wait.

[1:39] I want the answers to my problems.

[1:40] No, you know what?

[1:40] The time is over.

[1:41] Stuart, we're right.

[1:42] Let's move along.

[1:43] Live with your problems.

[1:44] And we are joined today by writer, director of the hit movie, Together.

[1:49] That's right.

[1:49] Michael Shanks is here.

S4

[1:51] Hey, guys.

[1:52] Great to be here.

[1:52] Long time.

[1:53] First time.

[1:54] Love the show.

Elliott Kalan

[1:55] Oh, thank you.

[1:56] Thank you.

[1:57] That was the most professional a guest has ever introduced themselves.

[1:59] Yeah.

[2:00] I'm very impressed.

[2:01] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[2:01] I am to please.

[2:04] Elliot has not had the pleasure in person yet, but we had a good time here in Brooklyn

[2:08] getting to meet Michael when he was promoting his movie together and going out and having

[2:14] a bunch of tequila and soda.

[2:17] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[2:17] And Dan is still shaking from the moment when Alison Brie touched him on the arm.

S4

[2:22] He squeezed my shoulder briefly.

[2:25] I'm sure that's true because Dan sent me a message afterwards saying, thanks for making

[2:29] that happen.

[2:30] You know, there's a tone of voice that you're adding.

Stuart Wellington

[2:35] Yeah.

[2:36] Normally, it was actually way creepier in his head.

Elliott Kalan

[2:38] No.

[2:39] I imagine the message.

[2:40] We're like, oh, thanks for making that happen.

[2:43] Yeah, there you go.

Dan McCoy

[2:43] Oh, boy.

[2:44] Oh, geez.

[2:47] And this is a – we're going back in time for this pig.

[2:51] So what happened was we were drinking.

Stuart Wellington

[2:54] So this is a podcast.

[2:55] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and we talk about it.

[2:57] Yeah, we're all arguing over it.

[2:58] Okay.

[2:58] So this podcast where we watch a movie and talk about it.

[3:01] Well, back after watching a screening of Together, we were all drinking at the Brooklyn

[3:09] Inn along with your friend.

[3:11] My friend, Kes.

S4

[3:12] Yes.

[3:13] Kes, who is a very tall man.

[3:15] And at a certain point, some guy came up to him and said, mate, we've been – I just

[3:19] do an Australian voice when I do a drunk guy, sorry, like, mate, we've been taking bets.

[3:22] How tall are you?

[3:23] And there were a bunch of people just staring at him from across the bar.

[3:26] Very rude thing to do.

Stuart Wellington

[3:28] Yeah.

[3:28] Well, that's the Brooklyn Inn.

[3:30] Sometimes they draw, let's say, a younger crowd who don't know how to behave themselves.

Elliott Kalan

[3:34] I'm assuming they were just surprised because the only Kes they were familiar with was the

[3:38] Kestrel from the movie Kes, which is very small.

[3:40] Of course, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[3:41] I will say –

[3:42] I mean, like –

Elliott Kalan

[3:43] Yeah, very hard – oh, what a sad movie.

Dan McCoy

[3:45] Clearly kind of a rude question to ask, but a very striking man.

[3:50] Like a barbarian –

[3:52] In that he struck them after they asked them.

[3:54] Like a romance novel cover of a man.

[3:56] In the style of barbarian, he struck.

[3:58] Yeah.

S4

[4:00] But yes, very handsome, very tall.

[4:02] I don't think that's a new experience for Kes.

[4:03] And just a quick shout-out to Kes.

[4:04] Actually, 10 years ago, Kes turned me on to this show, and I've been listening ever since.

Stuart Wellington

[4:09] Yep, never stopped.

[4:10] And Kes was there to witness the moment when I said – I think I was like five or six drinks in.

[4:16] I'm like, you should totally be on the show, and we should do The One.

[4:19] I think we were both talking about how great The One is, and Dan's like, what?

[4:24] Scoffed, I think.

Dan McCoy

[4:25] I didn't – I wasn't dubious.

[4:27] I just – I never had gotten around to seeing The One.

[4:30] I didn't know that it was –

Stuart Wellington

[4:30] And I'd only seen it once in the theater because, you know, it's called The One.

[4:33] So I figured I could only watch it the one time.

[4:36] That's the instruction.

[4:38] Yeah, it struck me, and I was like, I need to – like, this movie was great, and so I was very nervous to rewatch it.

[4:44] Because, you know, when you watch a movie from, what, 24 years ago?

Elliott Kalan

[4:48] Yeah, you were like, I can only watch this movie once every 24 years.

[4:51] Otherwise, it'll overwhelm me too much.

Stuart Wellington

[4:53] That's the thing.

[4:54] I mean, you have movies like that.

[4:56] There's some movies that I've watched, and I'm like – like, I really want to rewatch –

[4:58] I saw the TV glow, but I'm like, the first time I watched it was super intense.

[5:02] I don't know if I'm ready to do it again.

[5:03] Yeah, I mean, I remember when –

[5:04] On a Tuesday.

Elliott Kalan

[5:06] Just a lazy Saturday sitting around.

[5:08] I remember a friend of mine seeing Irreversible in the theaters and saying, it was great.

[5:12] I'm never going to watch it again.

[5:13] And I was like, yeah, I understand that.

[5:14] Yeah.

S4

[5:15] Yeah, I just watched Salo or 120 Days of Sodom in the theater.

[5:19] Oh, yeah.

[5:20] Two weeks back.

[5:21] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[5:21] And I was like, yeah, yeah.

[5:22] Just Grant caught a matinee of that one.

Elliott Kalan

[5:25] Yeah, it was the early day showing where you can bring toddlers.

[5:28] It's okay if they talk to the theater.

[5:30] Yeah, open captions.

[5:31] Yeah, the moms and baby screening.

[5:35] So, yeah, it was the moms and baby – so what was – where was this – I assume this was a special screening.

[5:39] It's not having another limited run or something.

[5:41] Yeah, I don't think so.

S4

[5:43] I don't think it's being rebooted anytime soon.

[5:46] It was Cinnamon Over in Melbourne doing a retrospective.

Elliott Kalan

[5:49] Oh, cool.

[5:49] That would be a very funny thing if they're like, we're running out of IP.

[5:53] I guess we got to do Salo.

S4

[5:54] I could imagine somebody like Parker Finn or like doing it.

[5:59] Somebody that's got kind of a – like a horror sensibility that's sort of got a bit of like a pranks to heart as well.

[6:05] Mm-hmm.

[6:05] Yeah, or –

[6:06] Ari Aster maybe producing.

Stuart Wellington

[6:07] Yeah, or one of the many provocateurs working in cinema these days.

[6:11] They're like –

[6:12] Ron Howard.

[6:12] What if there were 121 days?

[6:18] Too long.

[6:19] Okay.

[6:19] So we're going to talk about the one.

Elliott Kalan

[6:21] It was better when it was Salo or the 120 days of summer.

S4

[6:26] I mean, I don't know.

[6:26] You should have pitched that.

[6:27] Well, I can talk a bit about my history with the one, which is –

[6:31] Yes, please.

[6:31] Because it was my memory that I brought it up.

[6:33] I'm not trying to claim responsibility.

[6:35] I was – except for the fact that I was worried that maybe it was my fault if you watched this and hated it.

[6:38] But my memory of this film was that it came out when I was 10 and I saw the trailer and I was so excited because in the trailer there was this shot that had this – we'll talk about it.

[6:49] This kind of mixed time remapping bullet time shot and Jed Lee was in it, who I thought was the coolest guy.

[6:56] And then I watched it at a sleepover at my friend Flynn Hargreaves' house in Williamstown.

[7:02] Shout out to Flynn Hargreaves.

[7:04] Shout out.

Elliott Kalan

[7:06] I feel like the audience needs a cast of characters for everyone in Michael's life that is getting mentioned tonight.

S4

[7:13] We'll hand out a little pamphlet like a dune.

[7:16] There was a kid named Jerry Tonkin Hill that I barely remember, but I've always thought it was a fun name.

[7:21] And I believe we rented this in like a – we went out to Blockbuster or Video Easy and got this and Jimmy Neutron.

Stuart Wellington

[7:27] Video Easy is a great fucking name.

S4

[7:30] Yeah, that was the other Blockbuster kind of competing franchises down here.

[7:35] And watched this and Jimmy Neutron, and I remember being a little disappointed by both.

[7:39] Really disappointed by Jimmy Neutron.

[7:41] Yeah, that's a disappointment.

[7:42] But I'd kind of forgotten everything about the one except for the cool bullet time and the amazing final moment, which we'll get to.

[7:52] Yeah, that's great.

[7:52] I went to re-watch the final moment after watching it, watching the whole film the other day, and the bar on my YouTube history was fully red.

[8:00] I've definitely watched that final shot multiple times.

Elliott Kalan

[8:04] It's weird when you see a movie that seems to be like – it's only in the last minute that it's like, here's the movie.

[8:11] And you're like, wait, what?

[8:11] Oh, yeah.

[8:12] Hold on a second.

[8:13] It's the final movie I want to see the whole time.

[8:15] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[8:16] And it's like the end of what, Dead or Alive or any of those other movies where you're like, holy shit, where was this movie where they're pulling like balls of light out of their chests?

[8:25] Yeah.

S4

[8:27] Okay, Dan, and for you.

[8:28] Because of the age that I am, I'm quite nostalgic for like new metal cinema, going back to things like The One or like Underworld or like House of Wax.

[8:38] Just there's a certain era of like early 2000s.

[8:41] Leather coats and Papa Roach just kind of –

[8:45] It's so –

[8:45] Which is what makes the vibe.

Stuart Wellington

[8:46] Which – what makes the recent Crow remake such a bummer for me is because I'm like, you should have just fucking swapped the fucking soundtrack with this stuff.

[8:54] Like throw in maybe some deftones for the love scenes.

[8:57] Oh, yeah.

[8:58] Instead of like whatever – you know, whatever.

Elliott Kalan

[9:01] It's funny because, Michael, the way you feel about that because I'm a little bit older than you is the way that I feel about like mid-90s stuff where it's like, oh, yeah, all this stuff with the internet.

[9:09] They didn't really know what it was.

[9:11] You know, this is great.

[9:12] All this glowing blue and gray and stuff.

Dan McCoy

[9:15] Yeah.

[9:15] No, I agree with you, Elliot.

[9:17] Although like I find as I get older, my window of nostalgia grows.

[9:21] Like stuff like what Michael's talking about is like stuff that like drove me nuts at the time.

[9:26] Oh, for sure.

[9:27] It's like a hot warm bath.

[9:30] It's like a limp biscuit.

Elliott Kalan

[9:33] Once it's no longer current and therefore not a thing that you have to have like a real opinion on, it's so much – I like the –

[9:39] Right.

[9:40] I'm working on something right now that has a lot of 90s music in it and it's like, yeah, well, we definitely need to try to put in this song that I hated when it was new.

[9:48] Like we have to have it in there.

Dan McCoy

[9:50] So, yeah.

[9:50] I mean it's also like the degree to which it's like shoved in your face versus like now I'm choosing to shove it in my own face.

Stuart Wellington

[9:59] Dan, did you have any –

[10:00] That's called consent, Dan.

[10:00] You're right.

[10:01] It's very important.

[10:02] Do you have any experience with The One either when it came out or afterwards?

[10:06] My memory of it was just that I was like –

[10:08] What's your favorite Jet Li movie of all time, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[10:13] I don't know that I've seen a lot of Jet –

[10:15] Don't say Lethal Weapon 4.

[10:16] He was in that.

[10:17] I remember he was in Unleashed slash Danny the Dog.

Stuart Wellington

[10:22] And that's where he's literally a freak on a leash.

[10:24] Yeah, that's true.

Dan McCoy

[10:25] Not even like one of the Once Upon a Time in China movies or anything like that?

[10:27] I haven't seen them, no.

[10:29] I know I must have seen him in, you know, like foreign language pictures.

[10:34] Hero maybe?

[10:35] Yeah.

[10:35] No.

[10:36] I've never seen Hero in the theater.

Elliott Kalan

[10:37] That one's great.

[10:38] Yeah.

S4

[10:39] Okay.

[10:39] I remember seeing Romeo Must Die, which I think it features Ja Rule maybe?

[10:44] Or he's just all over the soundtrack.

[10:46] It was a DX.

Elliott Kalan

[10:47] I can't remember.

[10:47] I used to get that mixed up with Romeo is Bleeding.

[10:49] Romeo is having a hard time of it.

[10:51] Yeah.

S4

[10:52] Yeah.

[10:52] Yeah, I don't think things are going to end well for young Romeo.

[10:56] And Juliet.

Elliott Kalan

[10:57] Why not and Romeo?

[10:59] I didn't see the one in the theaters, but I remembered so well from the commercials

[11:03] the shot of him picking up that motorcycle and hitting somebody with it.

Dan McCoy

[11:06] Yes.

[11:07] Yes, I remember that.

[11:08] The one thing I was going to say was like my history with it was like when I was a kid,

[11:13] I was such a, I was so enthralled to like reading Roger Ebert's reviews of things and

[11:19] he did not like this movie.

[11:20] So I'm like, eh, okay.

[11:22] You know, like it didn't speak to me, so I didn't seek it out.

[11:26] But now I'm like, yeah, this is the kind of dumb stuff that I want.

Elliott Kalan

[11:29] I feel like Roger Ebert was a few years away from, there was a review he did whenever,

[11:34] or maybe it was before this.

[11:34] When did Air Force One come out?

[11:36] Was that in the early 2000s or was that in the late 90s?

[11:37] Late 90s.

[11:38] Oh, nevermind then.

[11:39] Because he wrote this review of a Gamera movie and he was like, you know, when you grow

[11:45] up, you think you're supposed to like what are grown up movies, something like Air Force

[11:49] One.

[11:49] But sometimes you just want to see a giant turtle flying around the screen and you get

[11:53] bored by something like Air Force One.

[11:55] And I feel like he swung back and forth between that feeling and something like the one where

Dan McCoy

[11:59] it's like, ugh, gross, dumb.

[12:01] You know?

Stuart Wellington

[12:01] I mainly feel like it would be weird if Air Force One came out like shortly after 9-11,

[12:07] right?

[12:08] Wouldn't that have been weird?

[12:09] Yeah, surely.

[12:09] It would have been weird.

[12:10] It would have been very weird.

[12:11] Yeah.

[12:12] I do feel that part of the problem is at the time.

[12:14] It's like this movie which came out almost two months from 9-11.

[12:18] Like as we were saying.

Elliott Kalan

[12:19] It came out November 2nd it says.

[12:22] So it was a little bit less than a month after 9-11.

Dan McCoy

[12:24] As we were saying about like what's getting shoved in your face, like at the time I feel

[12:28] like this was very much like looked at as like, oh, it's chasing the Matrix but without

[12:33] like the headiness, without the like the skill that is shown in that movie, you know?

[12:38] So like people were down on it.

[12:40] Whereas now as it stands alone, I'm like, yeah, like this is a movie where like Jason Statham

[12:45] is in it.

[12:45] And that's the level I'm taking you at.

[12:47] And Delroy Lindo.

Stuart Wellington

[12:47] And Delroy Lindo.

[12:48] Delroy Lindo.

[12:49] I mean, you do point, you said that without the skill, which is true.

[12:52] However, it does have a skill that I feel like the Matrix does not quite have.

[12:56] And that is Jet Li's incredible martial arts abilities.

[12:59] Well, we'll talk about that.

Elliott Kalan

[13:00] I feel like the problem with a movie like this is that it undervalues and undercuts Jet Li's

[13:04] actual martial art prowess with all the effects and stuff like that.

[13:07] That it uses, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[13:08] Okay.

[13:09] So let's get into the movie.

[13:11] Why don't we?

[13:11] So we open up with, we get an open, we open with like a text sequence that kind of feels

[13:16] like a, like you're at a seminar and they're explaining things to you.

[13:21] It feels like you're at a planetarium.

[13:23] Yeah.

S4

[13:24] I thought like the trailer had started playing.

[13:26] Yes.

[13:27] I rented the wrong thing.

[13:28] It feels like where there's an ad for another movie.

Elliott Kalan

[13:31] But here's a, here's an Apple TV show that you're going to want to, that we're going to advertise

[13:35] for you before the movie starts.

[13:36] It's very, it's, it's weird to start a movie this way, but Stuart, describe it.

Stuart Wellington

[13:39] So like, yeah.

[13:40] So the text keeps like appearing on screen and it's kind of like a blue background, like

[13:45] a screensaver.

[13:47] And the opening text explains that, you know, we live in a multiverse.

[13:51] It's not just a singular dimension, but many dimensions.

[13:55] Something that is, uh, nowadays does not need explaining anymore.

[13:59] Every movie, every movie, action movie takes place in the multiverse.

[14:02] I mean, every movie, I feel like, I feel like the next, the next fucking, uh, Fast and Furious,

[14:08] they're going to have like a multiverse or something.

[14:09] Right.

[14:10] Family is, um, multidimensional.

Elliott Kalan

[14:12] I forgot who was, I forgot who was, was telling me that their theory about the next Fast and Furious

[14:16] is that they're building up to a multiverse time travel story so that they can go back

[14:20] in time and have Paul Walker in it again.

[14:22] And Vin D's will meet himself in the past and can reflect on how much he's changed over

[14:27] the course.

[14:27] That's actually a really good idea.

[14:29] I think they're going to, I think they're going to do it.

[14:30] But I think now you'd have to still be just the movie that has an opening once it goes,

[14:34] the opening to a movie, you have to say, there is one universe, just one decisions

[14:38] are irrevocable.

[14:39] There's only one of you.

[14:40] You are unique.

[14:42] This is that story.

Stuart Wellington

[14:43] And don't try and fly super fast and make the world go back.

[14:46] backwards and go back in time.

[14:47] That doesn't work here.

[14:48] It doesn't really work that way.

Elliott Kalan

[14:50] That's not how time works.

[14:51] Yes.

[14:51] Gravity does bend space time because it is one fourth dimensional fabric, but not in the

[14:56] way that they do it in that other movie.

[14:57] You know, the one I'm talking about.

Dan McCoy

[14:59] I do think it's funny.

[15:00] Our story begins with, yeah.

[15:01] We had to like build up to the current multiverses we have with like the infinite multiverses because

[15:06] this one's just like the cut rate was like, yeah, there's 125 of them.

Stuart Wellington

[15:10] But I mean, it is very funny.

[15:12] Yeah.

[15:12] This idea hadn't been done.

[15:13] We figured out how many universes.

Elliott Kalan

[15:15] It's 125.

Stuart Wellington

[15:15] That's it.

[15:16] Yeah.

[15:16] This movie had like that idea hadn't been done to death yet.

[15:19] That's true.

S4

[15:21] Absolutely.

[15:21] Not in the movie.

[15:22] It's crazy that like the Jason Statham, like Delroy Lindo characters we'll get to.

[15:27] That is something that's so in like, I haven't watched it a few years, but like Rick and

[15:31] Morty, this sort of like, we've got to contain like police the multiverse.

[15:35] Same in like Loki and that kind of thing.

[15:37] Yeah.

[15:37] So their characters.

[15:38] Well-worn ideas now.

Stuart Wellington

[15:38] Their characters, Rodiker and Funch are members of the MVA or multiverse authority who are trying

[15:47] to keep the like law and order of the multiverse together.

[15:52] But before we get into that, we open in the Anubis universe and we open in a prison complex with

[15:59] a bunch of kind of sci-fi prison cops led by Dean Norris.

[16:04] Yeah.

[16:04] We're all pretty excited to see him.

[16:06] And there's just like little things that make you believe that this isn't the world that

[16:10] we're used to.

[16:11] For instance, President Al Gore on TV.

[16:15] We are introduced to Jet Li playing a character named Lawless who's in jail and he's some kind

[16:21] of evil criminal that's being transferred.

Elliott Kalan

[16:23] It's kind of nuts.

[16:24] He's going to scar on his face.

[16:24] You name your kid Lawless.

[16:26] He's going to end up in jail.

[16:27] That's not fair.

[16:28] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[16:28] Unless you're Lucy Lawless, so I guess somehow escaped.

[16:31] Yeah.

[16:32] Yeah.

[16:32] She's on the run.

[16:34] He does have a scar on his face.

[16:35] That's his defining feature.

[16:37] And they, you know, after a little bit of a kerfuffle, they make it out to the parking

[16:42] lot where he is killed by what?

[16:46] Another Jet Li?

[16:47] This is Gabriel Yu Law, an evil multidimensional space hopping guy who is going through the multiverse,

[16:58] killing all the versions of himself.

[17:00] He escapes the cops.

[17:02] You saw Highlander.

[17:03] He's like, yeah.

[17:04] He's like that.

[17:04] And in fact, there's a point where he's listening to various pop music and he turns it off until

[17:09] he gets to heavy metal.

[17:10] And then he smiles.

[17:11] I'm like, he's the Kurgan.

[17:12] He is the Kurgan.

[17:13] Yeah.

[17:14] Which, I mean, if you're going to rip a fucking movie, rip Highlander.

[17:17] That's not a bad one.

[17:19] Okay.

[17:19] So he escapes.

[17:21] He escapes the police by running super fast.

[17:25] He is pursued again by Delroy Lindo and Jason Statham with hair.

[17:29] I will say.

Elliott Kalan

[17:29] I was going to say the super fast effects are very funny.

[17:32] And it has the thing that.

[17:33] I agree.

[17:34] It always happens in movies where someone's supposed to move really fast.

[17:37] And the effect is that they look like they're moving slower than a normal person.

[17:40] And it's just like, I don't know what to tell you movies.

[17:43] Just make him do things faster instead of like, I don't know.

[17:46] The effect is very funny.

[17:47] Yeah.

[17:47] There's a mix of like.

[17:48] I don't like to do sex under it.

[17:51] It has that feeling.

[17:52] That someone's moving fast.

[17:53] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[17:53] Yeah.

[17:54] There is a mix of him moving kind of normal speed while everyone around him moves slowly,

[17:59] which is like a bullet time.

[18:00] Yeah.

[18:01] But the funny times are when he's running and all of a sudden, like the camera's on him

[18:04] and then it's just like, whoop, whoop, whoop.

S4

[18:07] He's in front of just a time-lapsing background.

[18:10] It's so funny.

[18:12] I did love to underscore that bullet time effect, which was the thing I remember from the trailer

[18:16] as a kid, I think holds up like when he is kind of punching a guy and then he goes slow-mo

[18:21] so gently like sprints away.

[18:23] And I love the moment Yulan appears, it drops straight into drowning pool's bodies.

[18:30] Yeah.

[18:30] And it's like, oh, this era has arrived.

[18:34] It really woke me up.

[18:35] I was very, very excited by this opening scene.

Stuart Wellington

[18:38] Yeah.

[18:38] That's like that needle drop alone.

[18:41] I'm like, hell yeah.

[18:42] We're almost at the best one in the movie, but it's incredible.

Elliott Kalan

[18:46] It is the movie is shouting at you.

[18:48] It looks like the future, but it's 2001.

S4

[18:51] Yeah.

[18:51] There was also a slight economy to the way they introduce Yulan that I quite appreciated.

[18:57] It's like a simple trick.

[18:59] But the opening five minutes is just people gearing up, like badasses, putting on armor and like

[19:03] taking all the precautions.

[19:04] And then you meet Jet Li.

[19:06] So like, oh, that's a badass guy.

[19:07] Like they need all these guys to protect him.

[19:09] And then a different Jet Li immediately kills that guy.

[19:12] So you're like, this guy's even the bigger main boss of the video game.

[19:15] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[19:16] Yeah.

[19:16] It's great.

[19:17] And the, uh, he is, you know, it's a science fiction movie because Jason Statham has long

[19:22] flowing hair.

[19:25] Uh, and they, they may actually track him down to where there's a, uh, they, they track

[19:30] him down to where there's a wormhole opening up to travel to a different dimension.

[19:34] And they kind of hijack it using their own technology.

[19:37] And they all get sucked through a portal.

[19:39] Uh, that's Delroy Lindo, Jason Statham, and Jet Li all get sucked through a portal into

[19:44] the multiverse authority building where they're all kind of fucked up.

[19:47] I do kind of like that when they go through the wormhole, they're all like pretty fucked

[19:50] up for a bit.

[19:51] It looks so painful.

Elliott Kalan

[19:53] It looks like it hurts so much.

[19:54] And why would anyone ever do this?

[19:56] And so, and that was a cool effect, but it wasn't just like it.

[19:59] They didn't look cool.

[20:00] It looked like this is a terrible thing to have to go through.

[20:02] And they just end up all rolling around on the ground, screaming like babies.

[20:06] Like it was, that was great.

Stuart Wellington

[20:07] We learn why you would want to do that because we find out that you law has been traveling

[20:12] to other dimensions, murdering other versions of himself.

[20:15] And we see a parade of other Jet Li outfits.

[20:18] With different haircuts.

[20:20] Different haircuts.

[20:21] It's so great.

[20:22] Jet Li, a man who like, who,

[20:24] I would argue has limited emotive range.

[20:29] Yes.

[20:30] So it's funny to see him in a bunch of different outfits.

Elliott Kalan

[20:33] And I think working in English really highlights, I think, what that, the limitations of that.

Dan McCoy

[20:39] Steve Kosciansky, I assume, saw that I logged this on my letterbox and sent me a photo of one of the-

[20:46] Jet Li with dreads.

[20:47] Yeah, the dreads.

[20:49] He's just like grinning.

[20:50] He's like so happy to have these dreads.

S4

[20:53] The one of him in a blonde wig really got a laugh out loud from me.

[20:57] I was rereading the Wikipedia summary and I think it says one of the Jet Lees is a Rastafarian.

[21:02] Oh, okay.

Stuart Wellington

[21:03] Because he's got dreads.

[21:04] They list, I think the Wikipedia entry lists the characters in the movie and it lists Jet Li and all of these variants.

[21:12] And I'm like, he doesn't really play them.

S4

[21:15] He stood in front of a blue screen and they put different wigs on him and wrapped it up in 20 minutes.

Elliott Kalan

[21:19] In the same way that I played an old-time gunslinger when I had a novelty photo taken at a state fair where I put a hat on.

Stuart Wellington

[21:27] Yeah, you are wanted dead or alive, though.

[21:29] Yeah, that's only because on a steel horse I ride.

Elliott Kalan

[21:32] And they say, you should ride a real horse, not a steel horse.

[21:34] And I go, no, I'm riding this steel one, thank you.

Dan McCoy

[21:38] Yeah, this is why there's 125 worlds, though, I assume.

[21:42] Because as we all know, there are just 125 types of people.

[21:44] Although, I guess there's one world that doesn't have one of them in it.

[21:49] There's the Jet Li-less world, which we'll get to eventually.

S4

[21:53] The wig shop had 125 wigs and they're like, gotta call it here.

Stuart Wellington

[21:56] I would argue that one, one of the Jet Li's got killed by U-Law.

[22:00] That's why I used that.

Elliott Kalan

[22:01] I would like to believe that much as Star Wars aliens, they all do the same job, every member of that species, that on each of these Earths, everyone has dreads.

[22:10] There's another one, everyone's a surfer.

[22:12] There's another one where everyone's a murderer.

Stuart Wellington

[22:14] I think that's a Rick and Morty bit right there.

[22:17] I guess it is, yeah.

[22:18] Okay, so we learn that he has been traveling, murdering these versions of himself, because by killing them, he kind of absorbs their energy Highlander style.

[22:25] Does that make sense?

[22:26] No, not really.

[22:27] But we know what the plot of the movie is at this point, right?

Dan McCoy

[22:30] But also, he doesn't seem to absorb it directly.

[22:34] It's more that that energy gets dispersed in amongst the remaining trees.

Elliott Kalan

[22:38] There's a certain amount of, Jason Statham explains it very clearly later on, that everyone is connected with their variants and there's a certain amount of limited energy that everyone shares together.

[22:47] It's just like, I assume it's a reference to John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath, where they talk about how there's just one big soul and we just have a piece of it.

[22:54] And so whenever he kills one of his variants, all the other variants get a little bit stronger too.

[23:01] And now finally, when there's just him and Gabe, then they're both super strong, super fast, etc.

Stuart Wellington

[23:10] Okay, so, but let's cut back to you, Law.

[23:13] We're currently at the Multiverse Authority.

[23:16] He is being sentenced to be sent to the Stygian universe to exile on a prison planet.

[23:23] So they strap him to a chair and they're about to send him through a wormhole.

[23:27] There's an audience, like people come in to watch this happen.

[23:29] And one of those audience members, that's right, it's Carla Gugino in kind of a space dress.

Elliott Kalan

[23:34] And she is, of course, introduced butt first because this is a classy movie.

[23:39] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[23:39] Is it a space dress or is it just really tight?

[23:41] It's a tight dress.

[23:42] It's just a very tight dress.

[23:43] I thought it was kind of futuristic.

Elliott Kalan

[23:44] But she does have space shoes because they have a hidden compartment that hides a mouse inside it.

Stuart Wellington

[23:49] So, yes.

[23:50] This is the silliest plan to free a mass murderer from his fate.

[23:54] I love it so much that she shows up and during this procedure,

[23:59] I guess, where they're going to send him through.

[24:01] He's sentencing.

[24:02] A little door opens in the back of her platforms,

[24:06] which I guarantee you can buy those exact same shoes down the street.

[24:10] I mean, on that universe.

[24:11] Sure.

[24:11] I don't know about this universe.

[24:12] And a little mouse with a needle strapped to it comes wandering out of her shoe

[24:19] and walks up to the glass, at which point Jet Li winks,

[24:25] and then we get the needle drop from Disturbs Down with the Sickness.

[24:29] Down with the Sickness, yeah.

S4

[24:30] And it is—

[24:31] It kicks in with the ooh-wah-ah-ah-ah and just drops.

Stuart Wellington

[24:34] That is pure cinema to me.

[24:36] You cannot show me a better example of movie making.

S4

[24:39] Yeah, it's right up there with the—

[24:40] It was the stand-up and cheer moment of 2001.

Stuart Wellington

[24:43] And then, of course, the mouse explodes, blowing the window out.

Elliott Kalan

[24:47] Stuart, it's right up there with the cat going to Harry Lyme's shoes

[24:51] and the light from the window revealing that it's Orson Welles himself,

[24:55] Harry Lyme, in The Third Man.

[24:57] It's just right up there.

[24:58] Yeah, just pure cinema.

[24:59] Yeah.

[24:59] The storytelling.

Dan McCoy

[25:01] There's something that I'm confused about in this scenario.

[25:05] It's not what you might think.

[25:06] The Third Man?

Elliott Kalan

[25:07] Well, anyway, so Joseph Cotter shows up in Vienna.

[25:09] He thinks his friend Harry Lyme's been killed, right?

[25:11] Cotter is—I think that's where you're probably—

[25:13] Yeah, you've been calling it a Zyther all of a sudden.

[25:16] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[25:16] That seems wrong.

[25:18] That's a silly name for a thing.

[25:19] No, it's Carly Eugenio.

[25:23] It's like—

[25:23] Yeah, it's Carly Eugenio.

[25:24] What's the problem?

[25:25] Well, I guess the idea is like across the universes,

[25:29] these two are together in different versions, right?

[25:32] Yeah.

[25:32] But he just arrived in this universe.

[25:34] Like which version of Carly Eugenio is this?

Stuart Wellington

[25:36] This is his home universe.

[25:37] Yeah, we learned that he was a multiverse authority.

[25:41] He was an agent of the multiverse, yes.

[25:42] Thank you.

[25:43] But he learned all this stuff, and he was like,

[25:44] I'm going to be the best one.

[25:45] You know what?

Dan McCoy

[25:46] No objections to the screenplay at all anymore.

[25:48] It all makes sense.

[25:49] It all hangs together.

S4

[25:51] Okay.

[25:51] A couple of notes on the mouse quickly.

[25:53] Did everybody else notice it had giant testicles?

[25:55] Of course.

[25:56] That was not something I noticed.

Elliott Kalan

[25:58] Really big testicles.

[25:59] I was watching it on an iPad.

[26:00] That's why I didn't notice that.

[26:01] Yeah, right.

[26:02] Do you think they cast the mouse because of its testicles or in spite of it?

[26:08] Oh, I think it was a real casting couch situation for sure.

[26:11] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[26:11] Or do you think they had to make some prosthetics?

[26:14] You have some experience making prosthetic mouse testicles, right?

S4

[26:16] I have got experience with prosthetic genitals.

[26:19] They looked disgustingly real to me.

[26:22] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[26:23] It's such a crazy plan because there's no reason, as said, for it to be a mouse.

S4

[26:27] It moves from her shoe two feet and then explodes.

[26:31] Do you think they're like, she's already had to just be a grenade.

Stuart Wellington

[26:33] She could have just taken a gun out of her shoe.

[26:36] Absolutely.

[26:37] Do you think they tried a gun or a grenade and they're like, this doesn't work.

[26:41] Hey, my friend has this mouse with enormous skulls.

Elliott Kalan

[26:44] It feels like for a moment, for one day, David Lynch was on the set.

[26:48] And they were like, we don't know how to free Jet Leafs.

Dan McCoy

[26:51] He goes, why don't you have her shoe open up?

[26:53] And a mouse with big balls comes out.

Elliott Kalan

[26:55] And then he blows up.

[26:56] And they're like, David, you're a genius.

Dan McCoy

[26:58] We got to do it.

[27:01] See, the thing is, like a gun would have set off the metal detector.

[27:04] But an exploding mouse doesn't.

[27:06] She doesn't have metal shoes.

Elliott Kalan

[27:08] She doesn't have metal shoes.

Stuart Wellington

[27:09] Yeah, I mean, this is an era where there was like metal buckles on everything.

Elliott Kalan

[27:14] And I guess they didn't have –

[27:15] I don't know what kind of x-ray technology they send them through,

[27:18] but it doesn't detect mice, you know.

S4

[27:21] The outfit she wears as well is just like immediately like,

[27:24] oh, she is the villain of this scene.

[27:27] Like she comes in like an absolute sci-fi femme fatale.

[27:31] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[27:32] Okay, so he uses this distraction to blast some cops,

[27:37] and then he reprograms the wormhole machine

[27:39] to send him to the last remaining universe.

[27:42] I think it's the – I wrote it down, but I can't read it.

[27:45] It's the Cheris universe.

[27:46] He goes to the Cheris universe where the last remaining variant is at.

[27:51] That's right, Gabriel Law.

[27:53] Let's find out how this goes down.

Dan McCoy

[27:55] I want to take a moment.

[27:56] We've said the names Gabriel Law and Gabe U-Law.

[28:01] U-Law, yeah, U-Law.

[28:02] So someone on Letterboxd pointed out that the difference between those names

[28:07] adds up to real U.

[28:10] Ooh.

[28:11] Whoa.

[28:12] So let me just –

[28:13] See, this movie is smart as hell.

Elliott Kalan

[28:15] Let me schedule a therapy appointment for tomorrow because my mind is blown.

[28:19] You'll notice that the criminal who gets killed in the beginning is named Lawless.

[28:22] So –

[28:23] Oh.

[28:23] And he's named Law.

[28:24] What do you mean?

[28:26] Okay.

[28:26] Hold on.

[28:27] A little less mind-blowing.

[28:27] Actually, you know what?

[28:28] It doesn't make any sense.

[28:29] So he is –

[28:30] A little less mouse-blowing.

[28:31] It's not quite at the level of the names in War of the Worlds,

[28:35] which are some of my favorite ridiculously on-the-nose character names that we've seen in a while.

S4

[28:40] I was just thinking of War of the Worlds, the Jeff Wayne musical from the 70s,

[28:43] because U-Law is the exact sound of the heat ray that comes out of the Martians thing.

[28:49] So every time that comes up, I think of that.

[28:51] For any Jeff Wayne heads out there.

Dan McCoy

[28:54] Right in.

[28:55] So this is when –

[28:57] Tell me who Jeff Wayne is.

[29:00] You know the musical War of the Worlds?

[29:01] So good.

Stuart Wellington

[29:02] Yeah.

[29:03] I feel like that's right up your alley.

[29:04] It's like science fiction.

[29:05] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[29:05] I'm surprised you don't know that one.

[29:05] It's old-timey.

[29:06] I like Rose Lampers.

[29:07] I remember seeing that on a –

Elliott Kalan

[29:09] The first time I ever saw that album was at my dad's friend's house,

[29:12] and I was just like, what is this?

[29:14] And they refused to play it.

[29:15] So it was years later.

[29:16] So they finally got to hear it.

S4

[29:17] It would blow your mind too much, kid.

[29:19] You're not ready.

[29:20] Yeah.

[29:21] So many U-laws.

Stuart Wellington

[29:23] So this is when Jason Statham and Delroy Lindo are after him,

[29:29] Hot Pursuit, again, they're the only two people they send,

[29:32] even though this is like a multiverse-spanning threat.

[29:35] To explain their roles real quickly, Delroy Lindo, of course,

[29:38] is the like old grizzled veteran.

[29:41] He's the buy-the-book agent.

[29:42] Yeah.

[29:42] Yeah, he's like the young hothead.

[29:44] He's a hothead because, of course, he's got so much hair on his head.

[29:48] It's making him hot.

[29:48] They've got to get his own.

Elliott Kalan

[29:49] The same thing happens to my younger son.

[29:51] He wants to grow his hair long.

[29:53] He gets overheated.

[29:53] He gets sweaty.

[29:54] He should have a short haircut.

[29:55] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[29:55] And they luckily travel to a multiverse that uses a different universe

[29:59] that everyone speaks the same language, which is really great.

[30:03] Although, actually, there's some Chinese spoken in the Cherise universe

[30:06] between Gabriel Law and his wife, TK, of course, played by Carla Gugino.

[30:12] Thank you.

[30:12] This is good, Carla Gugino.

Elliott Kalan

[30:14] What I love is her name is TK,

[30:15] which makes me think that they didn't put a first name into the script.

Dan McCoy

[30:18] Sorry.

[30:18] That's what I was distracted.

[30:20] I couldn't answer.

[30:20] Stuart gestured to me for the name Carla Gugino.

[30:23] I was thinking about TK.

[30:26] I was thinking of Tonky Kong the whole time.

[30:29] Oh, wow.

Stuart Wellington

[30:30] I was like, is that like a telekinetic?

[30:33] Like, why is that written down?

[30:34] Okay.

S4

[30:35] Well, when we get to this universe, though, they recreate the opening scene,

[30:39] but instead of showing Al Gore, we see George Bush.

[30:42] So, presumably, it's our universe.

[30:45] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[30:46] I mean, seeing Al Gore at the beginning of the movie to show that it's an alternate universe,

[30:51] it really punched me in the gut hard when I was watching it this time.

[30:56] Because I'm like, oh, yeah.

[30:57] That's when it all started going this way.

Stuart Wellington

[30:59] And you watch it shortly after Tuesday's election results,

[31:02] so you're still reeling after your boy, Andrew Cuomo, lost your favorite.

Elliott Kalan

[31:08] No, I was a slew ahead all the way.

[31:10] Yeah.

[31:11] Come on, if you've got a shiny jacket and a beret, you should be the mayor of New York City.

Stuart Wellington

[31:16] Exactly.

[31:17] He battled his way all the way there.

[31:19] Okay.

[31:20] Yeah, this is all very relevant jokes for our guest.

[31:26] I'm sure, Mike, I'm sure you're very aware of Curtis Leiva's history,

Elliott Kalan

[31:29] walking around the street, bothering homeless people.

[31:31] Yeah, yeah, sure.

[31:32] Of course, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[31:33] Andy loves cats.

[31:34] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[31:35] He does love cats.

[31:36] He had an old cat tie that he was wearing that night.

Stuart Wellington

[31:38] So, as Michael said, we arrive in the chair's dimension,

[31:42] and we have a mirror image of the opening sequence,

[31:47] although there are some subtle differences, i.e. there's no Dean Norris.

[31:52] That's the saddest thing about the universe the movie takes place in,

[31:54] is Dean Norris-less.

Elliott Kalan

[31:56] Putting the no in Norris.

Stuart Wellington

[32:00] And in this case, we find out that Jet Li's character, Gabriel Law,

[32:05] is actually working for the L.A. Sheriff's Department.

[32:08] He's not the criminal.

Elliott Kalan

[32:10] No, well, he is a gang member because he's in the L.A. Sheriff's Office,

[32:14] because the L.A. Sheriff's Office is riven with gangs.

[32:16] Yeah, you're right.

[32:16] Now, that I'm a little more aware of.

[32:18] Oh, wow.

[32:18] I'm surprised that made it over there.

Stuart Wellington

[32:20] Yeah, I mean, he's seen, you know, he's seen like, I don't know,

[32:23] like assault on Precinct 13 and stuff like that, right?

[32:27] Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

[32:28] So, during this prisoner transfer, an attack happens.

[32:33] Everybody assumes they're attacking the prisoner, but no, this is U-Law.

[32:37] He's arrived and he's attacking Gabriel Law,

[32:40] but Gabriel Law has the upper hand, not the upper hand,

[32:43] but he has almost like a sixth sense because, as we mentioned,

[32:46] he has gained some of the energy from all the dead Jet Li's in the universe.

Elliott Kalan

[32:50] Yeah, I think you wonder why Lawless didn't gain any of that dead Jet Li energy.

Stuart Wellington

[32:54] He probably did, but he just wasted it.

Elliott Kalan

[32:56] Yeah, I guess that's true.

S4

[32:57] He's a pretty full of himself.

[32:59] Well, Lawless does because whilst he's walking down this sort of,

[33:03] the Green Mile or whatever, the line of cells,

[33:05] he kicks some of the bars and they bend.

[33:09] And I'm like, oh, he does have the power.

Stuart Wellington

[33:11] Yeah, he might, is he the one?

S4

[33:13] Of the three.

Stuart Wellington

[33:15] Okay, so, I'm like, I keep just wanting to say Jet Li,

[33:20] but there's like so many Jet Li.

[33:22] Yeah, that's a problem.

[33:22] There's a Rastafarian one.

[33:25] So, Gabe-

[33:25] They're all dead, Stu.

[33:26] It's okay.

[33:26] There's just the two living Jet Li's.

[33:27] I'm going to call the good guy Gabe and the bad guy U-Law.

[33:30] Okay.

[33:30] So, Gabe chases after U-Law, who's trying to escape because he realized,

[33:35] oh, this fight might be a little bit too difficult for me right now.

[33:37] But in the process, he gets shot by U-Law after jumping over a super high wall,

[33:43] which gives us an indication that they both have superpowers.

[33:46] But before U-Law can kill Gabe and become the one,

[33:50] he is driven off by our two space cops.

[33:53] That's right, Funch and Rodiker using their like slightly futuristic pistols.

[33:58] And he runs off, I'm assuming, super fast.

Elliott Kalan

[34:01] They have their laser pistols,

[34:03] and they also have this thing that unfolds to show them where wormholes are opening.

[34:07] And every time they open this thing, I found it so funny.

[34:09] So cool.

[34:10] Because it looks like a giant space lollipop with a screen on it.

[34:12] It just opens up every time.

S4

[34:14] Yeah, but the screen is like a Winamp visualization.

[34:16] It was so 2001 kind of Windows design.

Stuart Wellington

[34:21] It's 100% exactly the same shit that like Carly Eugenio was using in Spy Kids,

[34:25] made the same year.

[34:27] Wow.

[34:27] So, you think she brought it to this set?

[34:29] I can only assume.

Elliott Kalan

[34:30] Or I guess Robert Rodriguez was probably working the way he does on a shoestring.

[34:34] And so he was like,

[34:35] does anyone have any super technology they could bring to be in Spy Kids?

[34:39] And she was like, you got it.

[34:40] Yes, here it is.

Stuart Wellington

[34:41] I like to think that, yeah,

[34:42] Carly Eugenio just has endless tech items in her home like that.

[34:46] She smuggled it off set in the back of her shoe.

Dan McCoy

[34:49] The same year as Spy Kids.

[34:51] That has blown my mind as much as anything else that we've talked about.

Elliott Kalan

[34:56] What a year for Carly Eugenio.

[34:57] I was just looking up to see if that was the same year that,

[35:00] that, uh, that, uh, what's the, what that her TV show was on?

[35:03] What was the TV show that she did?

Dan McCoy

[35:05] Well, she was on Spin City as well as Sin City.

[35:08] No, no.

[35:08] She was on both kinds of cities.

[35:09] There was another one where she was the star of it.

Elliott Kalan

[35:10] What's the difference?

Dan McCoy

[35:11] Shin City.

[35:15] Spoon City?

[35:16] Yep.

[35:16] Spoon City.

[35:17] That's what it was.

[35:17] Spoon City.

Stuart Wellington

[35:18] Okay.

[35:19] Okay.

[35:19] So we have a little after action report.

Dan McCoy

[35:21] Are you thinking of the Elmore Leonard one?

[35:23] Yes.

[35:24] The one that was, she played the same character that was in Out of Sight.

[35:27] Uh,

Dan McCoy

[35:27] Caracisco.

[35:28] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[35:28] Oh, that was a couple of years later.

[35:29] It was a couple of years later.

[35:30] But that's the one I was thinking of.

[35:31] Yeah.

[35:32] So we learned a little bit more about-

[35:34] Not Spoon City.

[35:34] Yeah.

[35:35] The show about the guy who's the mayor of the spoons.

Stuart Wellington

[35:39] Uh, mayor of Spoon City.

[35:42] I'm lord of all spoons.

[35:43] Starring Kate Winslet and Jeremy Renner.

[35:46] Isn't it wild that there's a mayor of Easttown and mayor of Kingstown, both shows kind of playing

[35:52] like roughly the same time?

[35:53] Well, we ran out of titles.

[35:54] Do you think people get confused?

[35:56] Well, aren't they spelled differently and they mean different things?

[35:58] Yeah, but if somebody's just saying it out loud, you'll get confused.

[36:03] Uh, okay.

[36:03] Maybe I'm just old.

[36:04] Okay, fine.

Elliott Kalan

[36:05] No, I'm on board.

[36:06] Okay, so-

[36:07] No, it's fair.

[36:07] No, it's true.

[36:08] It's true.

[36:08] We'll talk to the title authority.

Stuart Wellington

[36:10] Now that this, like, big opening is done, we get to learn a little bit more about the

[36:15] cherished dimension.

[36:18] The-

[36:18] Which is just our dimension.

[36:20] Our dimension.

[36:21] Yeah, I'm gonna keep calling-

[36:22] From now on, I'm referring to our dimension as the cherished dimension forever.

[36:26] Okay.

[36:27] So, we find out that Gabe is married to Carla Gugino, who's a veterinarian,

[36:32] so she can't treat his wounds.

[36:34] And they are in love.

[36:35] She can speak, she can speak some, what, I think that's Mandarin?

[36:39] Cantonese?

[36:40] I can't tell.

Elliott Kalan

[36:40] I mean, I would guess Cantonese.

[36:43] Thank you.

[36:43] I don't know.

[36:43] I don't know enough of that.

[36:44] But I really liked that moment that it was a, that it was like, she can speak Chinese.

[36:49] They speak together very casually.

[36:50] I thought that was really cool.

S4

[36:51] And I'll say-

[36:52] They have a really cute wedding photo that they do a close-up on.

Stuart Wellington

[36:55] Yes.

[36:56] And I would say, having seen Jet Li in a number of English language movies, this is the most,

[37:01] like, chemistry and rapport I've seen with him and a potential romantic interest.

[37:07] I'm going to give-

[37:08] And-

[37:08] More than a Leah.

S4

[37:12] I just want to shout out the line when he says, you can fix me up.

[37:15] And she says, hey, newsflash, I'm a vet.

[37:18] You don't have paws and a tail.

[37:21] And, you know, she sells it as best as she can.

[37:23] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[37:24] It's so funny because it's like, the human body and animal bodies are so completely different.

[37:29] We evolved on different planets.

[37:31] Don't you remember that?

[37:32] That's part of the backstory is this is a different planet that humans came to.

[37:35] And those are all, we're carbon-based life forms.

[37:37] All these animals, which looks like dogs and cats, are actually nitrogen-based life forms.

Dan McCoy

[37:41] Yeah.

[37:41] It is very funny that she would single out, you don't have paws and a tail, as if that's

[37:45] the pertinent thing to, like, fixing an injury.

[37:48] Like, she couldn't just, like, sew him up or whatever.

Elliott Kalan

[37:51] She's like, I learned my lesson.

[37:52] I can't deal with parrots.

[37:54] I cannot deal with snakes.

[37:55] Only things with paws and a tail.

S4

[37:58] Well, it's because if she just said, you know, I'm a vet, that's just too much exposition.

[38:02] But you couch it with this really funny guy.

[38:05] They say it's clever.

[38:06] It's clever, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[38:07] We got some screenwriters here.

[38:08] Oh, look out, James Wong, for, you know, your sins against screenwriting.

[38:13] Okay, so.

[38:14] She does her best.

Elliott Kalan

[38:15] I won't hear much said against Carla Tugino.

[38:17] Look.

[38:17] No, she's great.

Stuart Wellington

[38:19] So, we learned that, like, he's been having some weird issues.

[38:24] He had checked himself out of the hospital instead of actually staying there after being almost killed by Yulon.

[38:31] And he is being kind of quiet about the identity of his attacker.

[38:36] Nobody quite got a good look at him except for Gabe.

[38:38] And Gabe realized, that's me.

[38:40] Not just looks kind of like me.

[38:42] That's him.

[38:43] So, his wife convinced him to go back to the hospital.

Elliott Kalan

[38:47] It would be so funny if you saw him and he goes, that guy looks just like Jet Li.

Stuart Wellington

[38:52] Convinced him to go back to the hospital to get checked out, to go get an MRI.

[38:55] That's where he sees his sheriff buddies.

[38:57] And they all, like, they're pretty, like, buddy-buddy, right?

[39:00] Like, I don't know.

[39:01] Like, they feel like.

[39:03] Yeah, they all love him, which he's a hero cop, I guess.

[39:06] They turn on him pretty quick.

[39:06] They do turn on him pretty quick.

[39:08] And then he just beats the shit.

Elliott Kalan

[39:09] I was, to be fair, I was not, I must have missed something.

[39:13] This movie, I know you guys, well, I'm guessing some final judgments that are going to be positive about it.

[39:18] There were times when this movie flowed past my eyes without it really registering past my eyes in my brain.

[39:25] And so by the time that they were on the run trying to get Gabe, I was like, I don't really remember why they're after Gabe.

Dan McCoy

[39:33] I know what you mean.

[39:34] I, yes, I think that things are generally going to be sort of positive.

[39:38] But this is a less than 90-minute movie, and some of it is so fleet that I'm like, I don't know.

[39:45] How much fleet is a fast-running U-Log?

[39:47] I don't know what's going on.

[39:49] How did we get here?

[39:50] I guess it's not important.

[39:52] There's going to be something.

Elliott Kalan

[39:53] There definitely were parts of the movie about an hour in where I was like, oh, we're a lot farther into this movie than I thought.

[39:59] Yeah, I love this.

[40:00] It's like a child growing up.

[40:01] You look away for a moment, and suddenly they're ready to get home.

[40:04] Yeah, gently.

[40:05] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[40:07] So she convinced him to go get checked out and go get an MRI.

[40:10] That'll play almost some part into the rest of the movie.

[40:13] So he's getting an MRI.

[40:15] While he's getting his MRI, U-Log shows up to try and, I don't know, kill him while he's getting his MRI.

[40:22] There's a brief fight, and then Rodecker and Funt show up, and there's some blasting.

[40:27] The MRI machine briefly disarms U-Log by magnetizing his gun out of his hand.

[40:33] Glasses?

[40:34] Yeah.

[40:34] You know, there's a lot of, like, jumping and shooting.

Dan McCoy

[40:37] And the good guy's able to get out of an MRI machine somehow.

[40:41] I was like, as someone who's had his share of MRIs, like, I don't think you can just, like, push your way out.

Stuart Wellington

[40:47] I 100% think Jet Li could.

Elliott Kalan

[40:49] Yeah, I think that the X factor here that we're not thinking about, Dan, is that you are you, and he's Jet Li.

[40:53] He's almost the one.

[40:54] He also has the one powers, too.

[40:56] He's one way from the one.

Stuart Wellington

[40:58] Like, Jet Li is, you know, like, a top 1% of most athletic dudes in the universe.

[41:02] He's currently the penultimate.

Elliott Kalan

[41:04] I think so, Dan.

[41:05] We're going to have to have you go to each of the other 124 universes, kill your variants, and then get in an MRI, except for one, and see if you can do it.

[41:13] How are you going to kill him, Dan?

[41:14] Are you going to use, like, bolos?

Dan McCoy

[41:16] Honestly, I just had the saddest thought.

[41:17] It's almost, like, too sad to, like, put on the podcast, but I'm imagining me coming up and, like, killing the, you know, coming up to myself to kill myself and the other guy being like, oh, okay.

Elliott Kalan

[41:29] That is sad.

[41:31] I thought you were going to say you were going to go up and try to kill him, and the first guy you try immediately kills you.

[41:36] You're done.

Stuart Wellington

[41:37] I'm out.

[41:38] Yeah, what would happen if you, like, found a Dan who's, like, super, like, ripped?

[41:44] Are you implying that this Dan is not super ripped?

[41:46] I mean, more ripped than this Dan.

[41:48] Yeah, exactly.

[41:48] Like, noticeably more.

[41:50] Not, you know, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[41:51] What about if you found a Dan that could bench over 350, since I know you've been struggling to get to 350?

Stuart Wellington

[41:55] Yeah, you plateaued to 345.

[41:58] Someday, I'm going to push those plates.

[42:00] That's pounds, not kilograms.

[42:01] Oh, I know.

[42:02] That's really heavy.

[42:03] 345 p.m. is when he stopped, yeah.

[42:06] Okay, so in the ensuing conflict, there is confusion as to who the attacker is,

[42:12] and all the sheriff's department are like, you know what?

[42:15] Our friend Gabe, he's the problem.

[42:18] He must be the assailant.

[42:20] Maybe he had some kind of a mental break, and they're trying to talk him down,

[42:24] and then he just kind of beats them all up, but he does it, like, disarming style.

[42:28] It's pretty cool, right?

[42:29] I don't want to hurt you.

[42:29] Hey, what's this?

S4

[42:31] Put the handcuffs on you.

[42:31] Handcuffs.

[42:32] I thought that was cool.

[42:33] It's a cool thing.

[42:34] It's a cool thing.

[42:34] Like, Jackie Chan sort of, you know, prop kung fu, which is always fun.

Elliott Kalan

[42:37] You put your finger on it, it's very Jackie Chan-y, and it means that there's not a lot of effects.

[42:42] It's like close-up magic, you know?

[42:44] He's really doing it with his hands as opposed to stuff where you're like, well, at some point,

[42:49] no matter how good Jet Li is, he can't be in two places at once jumping 50 feet in the air.

[42:54] So, like, that has to be some computers involved.

Stuart Wellington

[42:56] But one thing I did like, for the vast majority of the martial arts sequences, they do put a green mask on the stunt performer's face that's fighting opposite Jet Li,

[43:07] so they can map his face on there if necessary.

[43:09] But for the most part, it's two guys doing physical stuff as opposed to, I feel like,

[43:14] if there was a Marvel movie where this was happening, it would be like, we got two wire-framed CGI dudes punching each other.

[43:20] Oh, yeah.

[43:21] There would not be an actual human being.

[43:22] Yeah, and the Black Panther kind of style.

[43:23] Yes.

[43:24] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[43:24] Okay.

[43:25] I thought the Jet Li versus Jet Li stuff looked really good.

[43:29] I thought they did a really good job of making it seem like he was fighting himself.

Stuart Wellington

[43:33] I also, later on, like, when Jet Li beats up Jason Statham very quickly and easily,

[43:37] and Jason Statham cannot fight anymore, and I'm like, wow, that's before his contract stipulated that he has to win his fights.

Elliott Kalan

[43:42] I was thinking the exact same thing.

[43:44] Jason Statham was not a big enough name yet that he could say, I'm not going to lose in this movie.

Stuart Wellington

[43:47] Do you think this is the movie that changed everything for him, that he, like, took a date to the movie,

[43:52] and she was like, ugh, gross.

[43:55] You got beat so bad.

[43:57] I watched the trailer.

S4

[43:58] I watched the trailer after watching the movie, and he gets, like, a solo title card in the trailer,

[44:02] which sort of surprised me at this stage of his career.

[44:05] It was about halfway through the movie where I turned to my partner, who was reluctantly watching the movie with me,

[44:10] and said, oh, did Jason Statham just try and do American for that line?

[44:14] And she said, he's been trying to do it the whole time.

[44:16] And then I realized he was completely failing to do an American accent of consistent.

Stuart Wellington

[44:21] Michael, you have had the true Flophouse experience of watching a Flophouse movie with a reluctant spouse.

S4

[44:31] I asked her as soon as it finished, what did you think?

[44:33] And she said, wasn't good.

Elliott Kalan

[44:37] I almost got to watch a Flophouse movie with my spouse recently for Flop TV.

[44:41] We did Xanadu recently.

[44:42] My wife was like, oh, I'd watch some of that with you.

[44:45] And then she saw about a minute of it, and she's like, actually, I won't.

[44:47] Never mind.

Dan McCoy

[44:48] I think there's some closets that need to be rearranged.

Elliott Kalan

[44:53] You know what?

[44:53] I think I just have to lie down and stare at the ceiling and think about whatever.

Dan McCoy

[44:58] What's that crack doing?

Elliott Kalan

[45:00] Looks like a rabbit.

[45:02] Like that hospital I was in in France as a child.

[45:05] That's like Madeline.

Stuart Wellington

[45:07] So both Gabe and U-Law managed to escape the hospital.

[45:12] And that means our MVA guys are going to need to split up, even though that goes against protocol.

[45:18] So Delroy Lindo goes after U-Law, and he says this thing like,

[45:22] where if you see this thing flash, that means we're both dead.

[45:25] And you have to, Jason Statham, you have to kill Gabriel Law.

[45:28] Because if I kill U-Law, then that means Gabriel Law is the one.

[45:33] And we can't have that.

[45:33] We don't know what's going to happen.

[45:35] No, there must be balance in the universe.

Elliott Kalan

[45:36] If there's just one, the one, then the whole universe could explode for something.

Stuart Wellington

[45:39] It's better if there's two, is what they say.

[45:42] Yeah.

[45:42] One is the loneliest number.

Elliott Kalan

[45:44] It takes two, baby.

[45:46] It takes two, baby.

[45:48] Oh, man.

[45:49] And he says, me and you.

[45:50] And Jason Statham is like, wait, but we're not the two.

[45:53] U-Law and Gabe Law are the two.

[45:55] And Delroy Lindo's like, don't worry about it.

[45:56] Don't worry about it.

[45:56] And he walks away.

[45:57] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[45:57] Very confusing.

[45:58] So Jason Statham catches up with Gabriel Law, and he kind of explains the rules of the multiverse.

[46:04] We all know this stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[46:06] He explains that while Gabe Law is walking away from him wanting to be anywhere else but listening to this explanation, right?

[46:12] Which I found very funny.

[46:13] Yeah.

[46:14] It's like he just – the only thing that could have made it better is every now and then he just went, turned back behind himself and went, stop talking to me.

[46:19] Stop it.

[46:19] I'm not interested.

S4

[46:21] Oh, just quickly.

[46:22] One thing that really bugged me – or not bugged me, but I was just like, oh, we all know where this is going.

[46:26] It's such like – and then the payoff doesn't come for a really long time is that when Gabe gets out of his hospital gown, he immediately changes into the exact same outfit that U-Law is wearing.

[46:38] And so we know that eventually we're going to get the shoot that one, no, shoot that one scene.

[46:43] But it takes two acts of the movie to then get there.

[46:46] And then it's almost immediately done away with.

Elliott Kalan

[46:49] Yeah, they don't care right away.

[46:51] Or they've figured it out.

[46:52] It takes U-Law taking off his shirt for a fight, his outer shirt for no reason, and then right before the moment where it's supposed to happen, I don't remember why Gabe's shirt comes off.

[47:02] He's got blown off by the wormhole.

[47:03] He's on fire.

[47:04] He has to take it off.

[47:06] It was a very artificial reason for them to suddenly end up in the same clothes.

S4

[47:10] Well, I really wanted Gabe to be like, hey, this is obviously going to happen eventually.

[47:16] I'm just going to put on some lipstick because I really don't think the other guy is going to put on lipstick.

[47:21] And just so it wouldn't have been funny for the second half of the movie.

[47:24] This is one of the crazy over-the-top lipstick.

Elliott Kalan

[47:28] Or he just gets a big face tattoo over most of his face.

Stuart Wellington

[47:32] This will wash off.

Elliott Kalan

[47:33] If we fall into the ocean, I'll still know I'm me.

Stuart Wellington

[47:36] If it gets splashed with blood of the battles that we're doing.

[47:39] But the other thing is like, that's exclusively for the audience because it's not like if you're watching two guys fight, you're going to be like, okay, I just got to remember the good one has his kind of shirt tied around his waist for some reason.

[47:51] The bad one does not.

[47:53] So if we all get jumbled up that I got to keep this straight.

[47:57] You're not going to do that.

[47:58] Okay, unless I guess I'm not a – that's probably why I'm not a multiverse agent.

[48:03] Okay, so –

[48:05] Well, I mean you failed the physical.

[48:06] I failed the physical.

[48:08] For being too strong.

[48:10] Thank you.

[48:11] Okay, so Roddicker, played by Delroy Lindo, gets the drop on U-Law who's driving what – he's driving like an ambulance.

[48:21] And he's, as I mentioned before, listening to some heavy metal.

[48:25] In the English release, it was Sinners by Drowning Pool.

[48:29] But apparently in the Chinese language release, they changed it to a Linkin Park song.

[48:33] So maybe, you know, better for them.

Dan McCoy

[48:35] Linkin Park must be huge in China.

[48:38] Where did you find – you were on the Nu Metal message boards trolling for this trivia or where did this come from?

[48:45] I mean this is all IMDb.

[48:46] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[48:47] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[48:49] IMDb, the Internet Movie Nu Metal Database.

Stuart Wellington

[48:52] Okay, yeah.

[48:52] So this is where, you know, they fight.

[48:55] Of course, U-Law being the two manages to defeat Delroy Lindo.

[48:59] And Delroy Lindo's like, okay, you have two options.

[49:02] I have this live crazy grenade in my hand.

[49:06] You have two options.

[49:07] You either come with me or you die.

[49:09] Of course, Jet Li runs over and snatches the grenade and kills him.

[49:12] And he's like, option three.

[49:14] And you're like, oh, sick.

Elliott Kalan

[49:15] I thought it was so funny to me that he's like, you got – okay, obviously, I have.

[49:19] He's like, you had a disadvantage right now.

[49:21] And it's like he forgets that he's dealing with a superhuman, you know, so he can move faster and is stronger.

[49:25] Delroy Lindo, not a surprise.

[49:27] Does a great job with not very much.

[49:30] He's an amazing –

S4

[49:30] Yeah, he's really good.

[49:31] He kind of sells it by being just – he just takes it seriously.

[49:35] He's not overdoing anything.

[49:36] He's not sort of trying to do a wee bit of like an American accent like the other guy is.

[49:41] I mean, Delroy Lindo already has an American accent.

[49:43] Well, that's true.

[49:44] He's got that taken care of.

[49:45] He should have tried to do a Cockney accent.

[49:48] I mean, that's another thing that this film has in context with like –

[49:52] Top of the morning, you long.

[49:54] I thought.

Elliott Kalan

[49:55] Sorry, what were you saying?

S4

[49:57] Oh, just that this plot is really similar to Highlander and also similarly to Highlander.

[50:01] There's lots of people's accents on display.

[50:04] Obviously, Jen Lee speaking with his natural accent and then Jason Statham trying to do an American and not quite getting there in the way that Sean Connery and –

Stuart Wellington

[50:13] Sean Connery's impeccable Spanish accent.

S4

[50:18] I mean, I respect that.

Elliott Kalan

[50:18] Sean Connery is somehow an Egyptian, an ancient Egyptian who's pretending to be a Spaniard and has the heaviest Scottish accent.

[50:25] It's amazing.

Dan McCoy

[50:26] Connery just got to a point where he was like, you know what?

[50:28] I'm not doing it.

[50:29] And I'm like, God bless you, Sean.

[50:31] I agree.

[50:33] You can't do it.

[50:35] So just don't.

[50:35] We don't care.

Elliott Kalan

[50:36] No.

[50:37] He was like, I am just going to be myself and eventually I will be old enough that I win an Academy Award for just doing myself.

Stuart Wellington

[50:42] And he did.

[50:43] I'm not shocked that Delroy Lindo does a great job selling –

[50:47] Shocked Connery.

[50:48] That Delroy Lindo does a great job with this, you know, like kind of goofy sci-fi plot.

[50:54] He was so great in – did you guys ever see the movie Blood of Heroes, also known as Salute of the Jugger,

[51:00] where he plays a post-apocalyptic athlete in a traveling like sports team?

Dan McCoy

[51:05] No.

[51:06] These sound like made-up titles.

[51:07] I mean, it sounds like a great role for him.

Stuart Wellington

[51:09] It starts Roger Hauer and Joan Chen if you haven't seen it.

[51:10] I totally – I've recommended this probably a million times on the podcast.

[51:14] I think so.

[51:15] It's super good.

[51:16] Vincent D'Onofrio is also in it as another member of this traveling sports team where they – okay.

[51:20] So the idea is there's a traveling team that goes from like wasteland settlement to wasteland settlement.

[51:26] And they all – they play this game using a dog skull where there's two like scorers or like runners that fight over the dog skull

[51:36] and try and stick it on the opposing team's spike while the opposing team has guys with like big sticks,

[51:43] kind of like American gladiators, and then also guys with like chain whips that are trying to keep you from doing that.

Dan McCoy

[51:48] We're in the inception part of the podcast where the plot has been superseded by a second plot.

[51:55] Yeah, it's great.

Elliott Kalan

[51:56] This is the Flophouse to become a Sargasso manuscript all of a sudden.

[51:59] And we've forgotten the original story and are now on to something else.

Stuart Wellington

[52:01] That's because I'm really trying to build up anticipation because as you mentioned, Elliot,

[52:05] we are dealing with a superhuman and that shit is on full display because after killing Delroy Lindo,

[52:10] some cops show up and Jet Li, a.k.a. Yulaw in this case, runs over and he punches the cops off their motorcycles

[52:18] and then picks up the motorcycles and starts swatting dudes around like they're baseball bats.

[52:23] It's incredible.

Elliott Kalan

[52:24] And this has to be the best part of the whole movie, right?

Stuart Wellington

[52:25] He's just picking up motorcycles and swinging them around.

[52:28] What's the best?

[52:29] The mouse that comes out of the shoe?

[52:31] Yes, the mouse coming out of the shoe with the ooh-ah-ah is the best part.

[52:35] That is a good part.

[52:36] And I love the final shot as well.

[52:37] Final shot, okay.

Elliott Kalan

[52:38] And actually, the final shot, I mean, the final shot, it's like, it promises a much better movie.

[52:42] We'll get to it.

[52:43] A much better movie than the one we saw, I think.

Stuart Wellington

[52:45] But anyway.

[52:45] Okay.

[52:47] Gabe and Funch decide to team up because Gabe goes-

[52:54] The names in the movie are ridiculous.

[52:56] T.K. goes back to their family home with the sheriff's department in tow.

[53:02] And she believes that her husband is injured and hiding inside.

[53:08] But she's not sure.

[53:09] And she actually sees him hiding up in the ceiling.

[53:14] But then she suspects, you know what?

[53:15] It's really scary.

[53:17] You like jump scares.

[53:18] Yeah, he's like sticking his little head out through the like attic, like hatchway.

[53:24] And then she sees, I think this is what happened.

[53:28] She sees her husband outside.

[53:30] And she realized that the one she's talking to inside is actually U-law, the evil one.

[53:35] After she like tests him with a little-

[53:37] Yeah, she pulls a classic like, oh, wasn't it great that time we did that thing?

Dan McCoy

[53:43] Oh, no, no, no.

[53:44] We didn't do that.

S4

[53:44] Do you ever think that we'd be in this situation after all those years where we met at the bookshop?

[53:49] I believe is the candidate.

Stuart Wellington

[53:50] I would be absolutely fucked if I was in this situation because I have a bad memory and I drink too much.

[53:56] So I'd be like, yeah, whatever, babe.

[53:58] Oh, no, I'm dead.

Dan McCoy

[53:59] Audrey's constantly being like, do you remember when we had dinner at that restaurant?

[54:03] I'm like, we were there.

[54:05] We went there.

[54:06] That's the thing we did.

Elliott Kalan

[54:07] Yeah, this happens.

[54:08] This happens.

[54:09] It's just a part of growing older.

Stuart Wellington

[54:10] Okay, so U-law, despite having a game turned on him, as we've learned, he's a superhuman.

[54:17] So he blasts a couple cops and then he turns the gun on TK.

[54:21] And in front of Gabe Law, he kills TK, Gabe Law's wife.

[54:26] Not a fan of this.

S4

[54:26] I was shocked.

[54:27] I really thought that we'd reveal that she wasn't mortally wounded and that she was just,

[54:32] she was recovering and she'd kind of reappear.

Stuart Wellington

[54:34] Do you think he did it?

[54:35] Because he's like, I'm trying to make my girlfriend in the other dimension the one.

[54:39] Oh, yeah.

[54:40] I did think that.

[54:41] It's part of the deal, yeah.

[54:42] I feel like, I feel like.

Elliott Kalan

[54:44] The boobs from different dimensions.

[54:45] There's like a limited amount of boobs that all, everyone in each dimension has.

[54:49] Yeah, yeah.

[54:50] No, let's explore this idea.

Dan McCoy

[54:51] That's how the Total Recall stripper happened.

[54:54] No, that makes sense.

[54:55] It really is.

[54:56] Another woman got killed.

Elliott Kalan

[54:57] I feel like if this was, this movie is coming out at a time when not only could you get

[55:03] away with just murdering the main guy's wife like that, but I think if they didn't do

[55:09] it, they would have been like, this isn't some soft wussy movie.

[55:12] Come on, this is a new metal movie.

[55:13] We got to do this.

[55:14] And so she's dispatched very casually.

[55:17] It's pretty.

S4

[55:18] Very casually.

[55:18] It's like a glancing shot to her gut and she just falls out of frame and then it's like,

[55:23] bye TK.

[55:24] Yeah.

[55:24] That's a TKO.

[55:25] That's a TK.

[55:26] That's a wrap for Carla Gugino, everybody.

Elliott Kalan

[55:27] Yep.

[55:28] Thanks, Carla.

[55:28] Oh, I mean.

[55:29] Off to Spike.

[55:30] Is it?

[55:30] Yeah.

[55:31] Wait, wait, wait, Carla, can I see your bag?

[55:32] Are you trying to steal props from this movie to bring to Spike?

[55:34] It's not.

[55:35] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[55:38] That's her weak spot.

[55:39] She's got a little uh-oh spot where if you shoot her in the tummy, she dies.

[55:43] Okay.

[55:43] She was shot in her existence port and that's why it hurt her particularly.

[55:47] Unlike the rest of us.

[55:48] So we get some, we get a little bit of.

[55:50] You get shot in the tummy, you just shrug it off.

[55:52] Yeah.

[55:53] Take a lap.

[55:54] Yeah.

[55:55] Take a lap.

[55:56] Walk it off.

[55:57] Rub some dirt on it.

[55:58] Ricochets into your head.

[55:59] Yeah.

[55:59] Oh, no.

[56:01] So you lost, Gabe.

[56:03] So we get a little bit of speed up.

[56:06] Funch and Gabe decide to team up to take down U Law.

[56:09] They show up at a industrial plant that seems to manufacture sparks.

[56:15] They walk right into.

Elliott Kalan

[56:16] And not the band Sparks.

[56:18] They don't make that.

[56:18] Just a physical thing.

Stuart Wellington

[56:20] Yeah.

[56:20] So they walk right into a trap using one of those funky sci-fi grenades that almost explodes

[56:25] them, but it does not.

[56:26] It just blows up their guns.

[56:27] And then they get in a fight.

[56:30] Jason Statham gets beat super fast and has to like limp around for the rest of the fight.

[56:34] But then we get a fight between U Law and Gabe.

[56:37] And this is kind of the centerpiece of the movie where we have two Jet Lees fighting each

[56:40] other.

[56:41] And one thing that I do want to point out is that both Jet Lees use different styles of

[56:46] martial arts, which is kind of cool.

[56:48] Yeah.

[56:48] That is cool.

[56:49] It's a subtle difference.

[56:50] Obviously, it's a nod to the fact that Jet Li is an incredible martial artist.

[56:55] Yeah.

[56:55] It's a nod to that.

[56:56] It's a little Easter egg.

Dan McCoy

[56:58] For those people who are aware of Jet Li's history.

[57:01] The discerning viewer will note that Jet Li's good at martial arts.

Stuart Wellington

[57:05] Of course, Gabe Law, being of pure heart and mind and body, becomes, and filled with the

[57:13] rage of a dead wife, decides to, becomes the ultimate battler.

[57:17] And he defeats U Law.

[57:19] There's a couple of moments where they're fighting with an axe, and he flips it up and catches

[57:23] it super fast and almost cuts him in half.

[57:25] It's amazing.

[57:26] Oh, so sick.

[57:26] That was a great moment.

[57:27] Put that shit in the trailer.

[57:29] I will go see it.

[57:30] It was in the trailer.

[57:31] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[57:31] I think there was a, this movie is moving so fast, I think they skip over a couple of

[57:35] like the obligatory beats that a movie has to have, and they're just like, you get it.

[57:41] You get it.

[57:41] He figures out his true power or whatever.

[57:44] Anyway, he's better now than U Law is.

[57:47] It's like, but are we going to see him do that?

Stuart Wellington

[57:50] We do see him, we do see him training one time in his home.

Elliott Kalan

[57:53] That's true.

[57:53] We do see him training in his home one time, but it's, but it's like, the movie is like,

[57:56] you know what happens in a movie.

[57:57] Come on, let's just get to it.

[57:58] Let's get to it.

[57:59] Come on.

S4

[58:00] We skipped over a not terribly important scene, but one that was, that's kind of fun where

[58:04] they, they go to a gas station.

[58:06] Oh yeah.

[58:07] Which I would call a petrol shop.

[58:09] Thank you.

[58:09] Not on this show.

[58:10] Excuse me, Alex, erase that.

[58:12] Leave it out.

[58:14] Yeah, I'm Jason Stathaming.

[58:15] They get to a gas station and, and bump into that universe is Delroy Lindo.

[58:22] And Jason Statham is able to be like, I just want to say thank you for everything you've

[58:26] done for me.

Elliott Kalan

[58:27] Oh wow.

[58:27] That's a kick-ass American accent.

[58:30] And Delroy Lindo's like, get out of here.

[58:32] Yeah.

[58:32] I'm going to go call the cops.

[58:35] Yeah.

[58:35] But they never run into that universe.

S4

[58:36] They come through him and he says, the Chinese guy kicked the, the Chinese guy is tearing

[58:40] this place apart.

[58:41] Yeah.

[58:42] Because he kicked a lamppost that falls over.

Elliott Kalan

[58:43] We never see this, this universe is Funch though, because he is of course in England.

Stuart Wellington

[58:48] Yeah.

[58:49] I do like that.

[58:50] It means we get extra Delroy Lindo.

[58:52] So I'm not mad at that.

[58:52] Yes.

S4

[58:53] Yeah.

[58:53] Oh yeah.

[58:53] It's great.

[58:53] It's just like, it's, it's, I mean, it's obviously films are full of conveniences, but

[58:58] it's like, why did the, it's very fortunate that they bumped into the Delroy of this thing

[59:03] and it's not even connected to what his job is in the other universe or anything.

Stuart Wellington

[59:08] Yeah.

[59:09] It feels like for the most part, everybody else is somewhat similar in the different dimensions.

[59:12] You know, like Carla Ucino's like a criminal Gumar in one and the other one, she's a veterinarian

[59:19] in every other dimension.

Elliott Kalan

[59:20] There's at least one other dimension where she's a veterinarian.

[59:22] Yeah.

[59:23] Yeah.

[59:23] In one, in one dimension, the law, law has a, has dreadlocks in the other ones.

[59:28] He is dreadless.

[59:29] You know?

Stuart Wellington

[59:31] I, I feel like the blonde law has still got to be the best.

[59:34] Okay.

[59:35] So the, uh, the world war rights.

Dan McCoy

[59:38] Blonde law sounds like a Ryan Murphy show.

[59:39] That's actually true.

Elliott Kalan

[59:41] Yeah, it does.

[59:41] Yeah.

[59:42] Yeah.

[59:42] Um, uh.

[59:43] We only take the blondest, sexiest, most scandalous cases.

[59:47] Sarah Paulson is going to crush it in that.

[59:48] Isn't that just legally blonde?

Stuart Wellington

[59:49] Yeah.

[59:50] Yes, that is legally blonde.

[59:51] Blonde law sounds like the, like, what the, like, Somalian poster for legally blonde.

[59:58] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[59:58] Where she's, where she's chopping someone's hand off while she's firing an Uzi at someone

[1:00:02] else.

[1:00:03] Yeah.

[1:00:03] It's a lion.

[1:00:05] Okay.

[1:00:05] So.

[1:00:06] Blonde law sounds like a, sounds like a silk stocking specific blue type show.

[1:00:09] Yeah.

[1:00:09] Uh-huh.

[1:00:10] On USA.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:10] Okay.

[1:00:11] So a wormhole arrives just in time to suck, uh, both laws and Jason Statham back to the

[1:00:17] multiverse authority where they are both very dazed and they're, uh, you know, the one

[1:00:22] law's like, oh, get him.

[1:00:23] He's the bad guy.

[1:00:24] There's a very brief moment where they almost send Gabriel law to the prison dimension because

[1:00:30] it's like.

[1:00:31] He's the bad guy.

S4

[1:00:31] Good enough for me.

[1:00:32] Open the portal in three, two.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:34] It's insane.

[1:00:34] It's a super fast timer.

[1:00:36] Like, they're like, shit, we gotta go, man.

[1:00:37] I don't gotta clock out.

[1:00:38] I got, uh, I got dinner on the stove.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:40] This is funny for me because I was waiting, you know, I was waiting for the moment.

[1:00:44] I'm like, oh, okay.

[1:00:45] He took the shirt off cause it was on fire.

[1:00:47] Yeah.

[1:00:47] They're gonna have the moment where there's the confusion.

[1:00:50] And then like immediately, like they scan them with some sci-fi thing and they're

[1:00:54] like, yeah, this is the one.

[1:00:55] And they put the one in the chair and like, they don't really explain.

[1:00:58] I mean, I'm probably missing something, but like why the scanning was wrong.

[1:01:02] But in my head, like for a second, I'm like, wait, they set up the thing and they didn't

[1:01:06] even have Spider-Man pointed at himself.

[1:01:08] Like, I don't understand what's going on here.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:10] There had to have been a cut where they sent the wrong law, wrong law to the prison dimension.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:18] I mean, a cut of this movie that was more than 87 minutes long, which this one.

[1:01:21] 88 minutes, maybe.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:23] Sorry, yeah.

[1:01:24] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:24] It was 88.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:24] There's one minute they cut out where they handled all that stuff.

[1:01:27] So they Zorch you law away.

[1:01:29] And then they're strapping Gabe law into another one.

[1:01:33] And they're like, I guess we got to send him what they want to send him back to the

[1:01:38] chair is dimension because they're like, that's where he's from.

[1:01:41] That's the rules.

[1:01:41] And Jason's like, that's fucking crazy, man.

[1:01:43] They're going to think he's like a criminal because he killed all those people.

[1:01:48] And so he's like, actually, I know how to do this.

[1:01:51] I'm going to send him to, I'm going to send him back to the chair is dimension.

[1:01:54] I know how to do it.

[1:01:55] And they're like, okay, I guess.

[1:01:56] Sure.

[1:01:56] Go ahead.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:57] Like there's like, there's a, there's a, there's an NYPD detective who caught a murderer and

[1:02:03] the murderer is putting, putting the electric chair.

[1:02:04] And he's like, uh, let me, I'll flip the switch.

[1:02:06] I'm pretty familiar with this equipment.

[1:02:08] You got it, sir.

[1:02:09] Then anyone can do this.

[1:02:10] It's that's not, that's your job now.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:12] Yep.

[1:02:12] Technically it's your birthday.

[1:02:14] So when it's your birthday, you can do whatever you want.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:18] So they, uh, so they send.

[1:02:20] I would love it.

[1:02:21] I know I would have, that would have been such a funny addition to this movie.

[1:02:23] If throughout it, he was just like, it's my birthday.

[1:02:25] Let me do this.

[1:02:25] Hey, it's my birthday.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:26] Let me break the rules.

[1:02:27] That would explain a lot of their, their dynamic.

[1:02:30] Um, and also that's why he's like such a hothead.

[1:02:33] Cause he feels like it's his birthday and he's running out of time and he's got, he's got to,

[1:02:36] he's got to corner this killer or whatever.

[1:02:38] He's turning 35.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:41] He's going to, he's only five away from 40.

[1:02:43] He's going to, yeah.

[1:02:43] So it's, you know, he wants to.

S4

[1:02:45] He's no longer an Olympic level diver.

[1:02:47] That's true.

[1:02:48] Which I believe he was, right?

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:49] You know what's crazy is looking at Jason Satham in this movie and being like, man, he's

[1:02:53] got to be younger than I am now.

[1:02:56] But like, I can't imagine Jason Satham being younger than me.

[1:02:59] No.

[1:02:59] Do you know how young he was?

[1:03:01] Bruce Willis in fucking Die Hard.

[1:03:02] I'm like, he's what?

[1:03:04] Like 30?

[1:03:05] That's crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:06] That's the experience I've been having watching Seinfeld recently where I'm like, all these

[1:03:09] characters are younger than me.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:11] Yet they dress like they're in their 60s.

[1:03:13] And they complain about diner food all the time.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:17] But you know what?

[1:03:18] Jason Satham was 34 years old when this movie came out.

[1:03:20] Wow.

[1:03:21] So, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:23] This ending, though.

[1:03:24] I usually explain it.

[1:03:25] But I have thoughts on this.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:26] So, Gabriel Law gets sent back to, he gets sent to a completely different dimension.

[1:03:31] One that I'm assuming the law was killed by you, Law.

[1:03:34] And he almost gets hit by a car.

[1:03:37] The car runs over a dog's paw.

[1:03:39] And he's like, wait, that's my dog.

[1:03:42] And so he takes that dog to the convenience.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:44] Wait, we should mention also that we see the goofiest looking car.

S4

[1:03:48] An insane car.

[1:03:50] Yeah.

[1:03:50] And so it's like, oh, this universe is going to be a crazy sci-fi universe.

[1:03:53] Yeah.

[1:03:54] This is one weird car.

[1:03:55] No, it's just that one car.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:56] Yeah, it's the one guy driving the wacky mobile.

[1:04:00] Yeah.

[1:04:01] So that, you know, a car that's like not cool enough to like actually hurt anybody.

[1:04:08] Not cool enough?

[1:04:09] No, I know.

[1:04:10] I don't know.

[1:04:10] That's what's cool of you?

[1:04:11] No, you got me.

[1:04:13] As Stuart was saying the sentence.

[1:04:14] Put me into the teaching universe.

[1:04:16] I deserve it.

[1:04:17] It's real.

[1:04:18] I see you saying the sentence.

[1:04:18] I deserve it.

[1:04:19] Exile me forever.

[1:04:20] And as you're saying it, you're like, oh, no.

[1:04:21] What?

[1:04:22] Let's start it this way.

[1:04:25] So, of course, he scoops up the dog, which in a different dimension was his dog.

[1:04:31] And he goes to the conveniently placed veterinarian clinic that's right there.

[1:04:34] And he's like, I'm just scooping this dog poop.

[1:04:36] Not the whole dog.

[1:04:37] Yep.

[1:04:37] Two meters away, which is what, like 100 feet?

[1:04:40] I don't know.

[1:04:41] Yeah, something like that.

[1:04:41] Something like that.

[1:04:42] It's five miles.

[1:04:43] Yeah.

[1:04:43] He bursts through the door and he's like, somebody save this dog.

[1:04:47] Of course, the person he's yelling at, that's right, turns around.

[1:04:51] It's none other than Carly Eugino looking incredible.

[1:04:54] And he's like, oh, mama mia.

[1:04:57] And this is like, wolf whistles.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:59] We've invoked, because it's such a heavily multiverse, like goofy show.

[1:05:04] We've invoked Rick and Morty before.

[1:05:05] And they do stuff like this on that show because that show is inherently cynical.

[1:05:10] And it's like a joke how cynical it is.

[1:05:12] Here it's just like the movie is not interrogating at all the fact that it's just like, okay,

[1:05:17] well, you're Carly Eugino died.

[1:05:18] But one is just as good as another, right?

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:20] Dan, it's just like the story of Job.

[1:05:23] He lost his whole family, but then God gives him another one.

[1:05:26] He's just supposed to be happy with it.

[1:05:27] You know?

[1:05:27] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:28] Yeah, I don't read that stuff.

[1:05:29] And this case, God's Jason Statham.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:32] But we didn't mention-

[1:05:33] The J in Job stands for Jason Statham.

[1:05:35] Oh, okay.

[1:05:36] Jason Statham's OB is what it stands for.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:38] He would be incredible in a production of Job.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:42] Production of Job?

[1:05:43] Yeah, the musical Job!

[1:05:45] What happened to my stuff?

[1:05:48] They took all my stuff.

[1:05:50] I think I've had enough because they've got all my stuff.

[1:05:52] Now I'm covered in sores.

[1:05:54] Oh, my Lord.

[1:05:56] So, where were you when I invented Leviathan?

[1:06:00] Where were you?

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:00] My college girlfriend was a theater major.

[1:06:04] And part of being a theater major is you had to help other theater majors with their senior projects.

[1:06:09] And so she had to help another guy who was doing a theatrical production of the story of Job.

[1:06:15] And she was playing Job's wife.

[1:06:17] And her costume was like basically a bathrobe.

[1:06:20] And on opening night, on her opening night, we like went into the theater.

[1:06:24] And the Earlham College, the theater's pretty small.

[1:06:27] But there was a massive poster.

[1:06:30] Like, I feel like it was like a 20-foot tall close-up of her face looking sad.

[1:06:34] And she's like, I didn't know it was going to be like this.

[1:06:37] It sucks.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:38] That's what happens when you're a star, baby.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:40] But this is the ending here.

[1:06:42] It is the time travel alternate universe fallacy also of like, oh, you look the same as my wife.

[1:06:49] And you have the same job.

[1:06:50] You must be the same person.

[1:06:52] And we will fall in love now.

[1:06:53] Yes.

S4

[1:06:54] Who cares that she's dead and I'm a stranger?

[1:06:56] Yes.

[1:06:57] It's also the exact – we hear the backstory of how Jet Li and Khaled Gugino met in the first time.

[1:07:02] Which is he found an injured dog and took it to the van.

[1:07:04] She was there.

[1:07:05] It was love at first sight.

[1:07:06] So when this happened, I was like, is this a time travel thing?

[1:07:10] Because like – how did Jason Statham know, oh, I know another universe where this exact moment can happen?

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:16] I think they transferred him to a universe that was a couple years behind the one he came from.

[1:07:22] Oh, that was the one difference.

[1:07:23] This was the universe.

[1:07:23] And this was the like – this was the like Charis is late universe.

[1:07:28] Like it's always running a little late.

[1:07:29] Yeah.

[1:07:29] But it reminds me so much of the end of Time Cop where he has managed to change the past so that his wife is alive and he has a family.

[1:07:37] And as he's walking to his house, I just kept – I always imagine him thinking like, oh, boy.

[1:07:41] I've got to pretend I know who these kids are.

[1:07:44] This is going to be rough.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:46] Maybe if I should trip on the way and pretend that I get amnesia.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:50] Oh, I got a concussion.

[1:07:51] I don't remember.

[1:07:52] Can you remind me what your names are and how we met?

S4

[1:07:54] That actually is the plot of that Joel Edgerton Apple TV show where he's like universe jumping.

[1:08:02] Joel Edgerton jumps into another dimension like and steals a place and then has to be like, yeah, I'm your dad.

[1:08:08] This is good, right?

[1:08:09] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:10] That's arguably the plot of the most recent season of Peacemaker except instead of, you know, Jean-Claude Van Damme, it's John Cena.

[1:08:18] So they're both, you know, big guys.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:21] I mean it's arguably the plot of the last season of Sopranos.

[1:08:24] You'd lose that argument, but you could argue.

[1:08:26] I'd make that argument.

[1:08:27] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:29] So.

[1:08:30] For $2.

[1:08:31] So let's get to the real meat on this.

[1:08:33] Ooh, too rich for my blood.

[1:08:35] We've eaten all the vegetables around the plate.

[1:08:37] Let's get to the meat that's in the middle of the plate.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:39] Is this how you organize your plates?

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:41] There's like an island of meat in the middle and then a moat of vegetables around it?

[1:08:45] Yeah.

[1:08:45] How do you do it?

[1:08:46] I always just scoops all the vegetables into the garbage.

S4

[1:08:50] That's what I do.

[1:08:51] I make a food pyramid.

[1:08:53] Oh, okay.

[1:08:54] The old person.

[1:08:55] Just the ancient aliens.

[1:08:56] And that's a good transition to the end of this.

[1:08:58] Oh, that's true.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:00] Okay.

[1:09:00] So speaking of pyramids, we cut to the Stygian universe where U-Law wakes up and he's surrounded

[1:09:08] by rough looking customers.

[1:09:11] And he is on a.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:12] Rough looking customers all look much older than him and weaker than him.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:15] None of them look like that intimidating.

[1:09:16] And they are on a.

[1:09:19] He is on a prison planet that is lashed by lightning covered in massive pyramids.

[1:09:26] And there's all kinds of science fiction stuff.

[1:09:28] And his first reaction.

[1:09:31] They're like, oh, goody.

[1:09:32] There's a new inmate.

[1:09:33] Fresh fish.

[1:09:34] You've got a pretty mouth.

[1:09:37] Which is disgusting.

[1:09:38] Uh-huh.

[1:09:39] It's, yeah, it's disgusting.

[1:09:40] But I mean, it's anchored.

[1:09:41] It's jelly.

[1:09:42] He's gorgeous.

[1:09:43] Yeah.

[1:09:43] And he.

[1:09:44] And so gently.

[1:09:45] And then his.

[1:09:46] U-Law stands up and he says.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:47] They go, you've got a pretty mouth.

[1:09:49] And then he gets a fan.

[1:09:50] They go, a prisoner can't compliment another prisoner these days.

[1:09:53] Whatever happened.

[1:09:54] The dimension I'm from.

[1:09:55] Awesome.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:55] The Anubis dimension.

[1:09:56] We compliment each other's mouths when we meet them.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:59] I'm from the sexual harassment dimension.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:01] This is considered etiquette where I'm from.

[1:10:03] So this is when U-Law stands up and he addresses the crowd and he says, I am U-Law.

[1:10:08] I am nobody's bitch.

[1:10:10] You are mine.

[1:10:11] I'm like, oh, wow.

[1:10:13] Okay.

[1:10:13] This is an interesting turn of events.

[1:10:15] But and then, of course, he starts beating people up while we hear Papa Roach start blasting.

[1:10:22] And I'm like, hell yeah.

[1:10:23] Lost resort.

[1:10:25] He's on top of the ziggurat.

[1:10:27] Yeah.

[1:10:28] The camera pulls back.

[1:10:29] He's on top of the ziggurat.

[1:10:30] And there's like a swarm of dudes running up to get beat up by him.

[1:10:33] Kind of like the Doom video game.

[1:10:36] But instead of fighting demons, he's fighting rough customers.

S4

[1:10:39] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:39] Yes.

[1:10:40] It is.

[1:10:40] It is awesome.

[1:10:41] It is.

[1:10:42] You want to send your audience out on a cloud.

[1:10:45] And you know what?

[1:10:45] Success.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:46] I have to say that the way it pulls back, I kept expecting, I mean, it would be totally

[1:10:51] needless.

[1:10:52] And it would not make any sense to have like this last minute twist.

[1:10:55] For it to be revealed it's all in a snow globe being held by a child.

[1:10:56] Well, like to reveal like, oh, you know, like there's the Empire State Building.

[1:11:00] It'd be like, oh, this is like.

[1:11:02] Oh, the fallen Statue of Liberty.

[1:11:04] I don't know why they would do that.

[1:11:06] But it was that kind of pullout.

[1:11:07] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:07] But it pulls out and it's just a reflection in Jonathan Price's eye at the end of Brazil.

[1:11:11] And you're like, whoa, that is cool.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:13] He's like, the only way I could escape the torture was to imagine badass martial arts.

[1:11:17] Imagine the one.

[1:11:20] But it is.

[1:11:21] It feels like such a.

[1:11:22] But this feels like such a.

[1:11:23] I mean, it's an awesome ending, but it feels like such a tease.

[1:11:25] I just was like, this is the movie I could have been watching all this time.

[1:11:29] Yeah.

[1:11:29] Like, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:30] The thing is, they know that the movie that they could make with the budget they had set

[1:11:35] on that prison planet would not be nearly as the cool as the one in your head.

[1:11:38] No, that's very true.

[1:11:39] That's a good point.

[1:11:40] Especially on the budget they have.

[1:11:41] Yeah.

[1:11:42] So that's the one, guys.

[1:11:43] We fucking did it.

[1:11:45] Yeah.

[1:11:45] We did it.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:46] I was looking it up like, you know, I think that they maybe wanted to do more.

[1:11:52] The two.

[1:11:52] This was a $50 million movie that made $80 million.

[1:11:58] So it did okay for like the time, but probably was not ultimately profitable.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:04] I feel like the name and the, I guess the poster's not, like the one poster with Jet

[1:12:09] Leon, it's okay.

[1:12:10] But the other one's just like a glowing orb or something.

[1:12:13] And that's not a good poster.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:14] Even the one with Jet Leon, it just looks like his body is kind of like dissolving into

[1:12:18] cubes, into pixels.

[1:12:20] It doesn't really.

[1:12:21] I feel like.

[1:12:21] I bring you into little cubes.

[1:12:23] Little cubes, Picasso.

[1:12:25] I feel like the poster should be two Jet Leaves facing off against each other.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:30] Right?

[1:12:31] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:31] It feels like that's your poster.

[1:12:33] Why are you doing anything else?

Dan McCoy

[1:12:33] It would confuse people though.

[1:12:34] They'd be like, I thought it's called the one.

[1:12:36] I don't understand.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:37] I'm seeing double here.

[1:12:38] Two Jet Leaves.

[1:12:39] I don't want to know the story behind that.

[1:12:41] You won't get my ticket money.

S4

[1:12:44] I think though, I was just thinking there's a kind of a plot hole of the ending, which

[1:12:50] is that they can't allow one of these guys to become the one because nobody knows what

[1:12:56] will happen.

[1:12:57] Some believe that if somebody becomes the one, they will explode.

[1:13:00] Some believe he will implode.

[1:13:01] Some believe he will become a god, if they clarify.

[1:13:04] And Jason Statham says, well, it might just destroy the universe.

[1:13:07] Maybe it'll destroy the multiverse.

[1:13:08] One of these Jet Leaves still will die.

[1:13:11] One of them will die of old age, and if they can't let either of them die, perhaps sending

[1:13:16] Yulaw to an infinite fight that he cannot win under the end of the first video game Half-Life,

[1:13:25] he's not going to last long.

[1:13:28] You make a good point.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:29] You really put your finger on what is wrong about the movie in general, which is that you're

[1:13:34] right.

[1:13:34] Unless everyone in each universe is dying at the same moment, this would be happening all

[1:13:38] the time.

[1:13:39] All the time.

[1:13:40] In an infinite or I guess 125 universe, people are going to die at different times.

[1:13:45] And you'd think that suddenly you'd see an old man who can run super fast and lift up

[1:13:49] a car because all his elderly counterparts have died just a couple days before him or something.

[1:13:54] Can you imagine?

S4

[1:13:55] I would love to see that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:57] What if it's the same movie, the one, but it's with Burgess Meredith instead of Jet Leaves?

[1:14:01] Oh my God.

[1:14:02] He's an incredibly old man.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:04] The way he shoots the scenery, that'd be great.

[1:14:05] The thing is, we don't even need this idea like, oh, once it becomes the one, it might

[1:14:12] destroy the universe.

[1:14:14] Those stakes are not necessary to the movie.

[1:14:17] It could just be a movie about this is an interdimensional criminal who is about to become incredibly

[1:14:24] dangerous.

[1:14:25] Like, more powerful than anyone in the world.

[1:14:28] We have to stop him.

[1:14:29] And that's enough.

[1:14:31] You know?

S4

[1:14:31] I guess it's because they need to give a reason to kill, oh, we need to kill Gabe as well.

[1:14:35] But it could just be, well, no one individual should have this power.

[1:14:38] It's just too dangerous.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:40] But it really is the same way that the multiverse aspect of it is a forerunner to so many of the

[1:14:45] movies now, the fact that they felt like they needed to throw in, uh, and the universe could

[1:14:49] be destroyed, like, is also a forerunner to every movie now.

[1:14:51] Yeah, there has to be some kind of a-

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:52] It's the highest stakes possible.

[1:14:53] I would say, I'm not going to say this is a plot hole, but it, uh, I feel like it's a

[1:14:58] missed opportunity because apparently all these sequences that were shot in the hotel, that,

[1:15:03] uh, hotel, the sequences that are shot in the hospital, now that's the same-

[1:15:07] The hospital's just like a hotel for sick people.

[1:15:08] It's the same based on the prices.

[1:15:11] It's even more expensive.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:13] I mean, they are providing medical care, so like, it really should be more expensive

[1:15:19] than a hotel.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:20] I was just going to say, a hotel is not performing surgery.

[1:15:23] It's not providing medications, round-the-clock service.

[1:15:26] Maybe the hotel's-

[1:15:27] What about who's footing the bill?

[1:15:28] We can argue about that.

[1:15:31] You're going to these kind of infinity pool type of hotels where there's all sorts of

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:34] stuff going on.

[1:15:35] Yeah, I'm always going to infinity pool hotels.

[1:15:38] What I was going to say is the hospital that they shoot that sequence in is the same hospital

[1:15:43] that they shoot, they shot Scrubs in, and I think it's a missed opportunity that the

[1:15:47] Scrubs gang didn't just wander through some of those action sequences.

[1:15:50] I'm not going down there.

S4

[1:15:51] Can you imagine JD meeting TK?

[1:15:53] Oh my gosh.

[1:15:54] Was it really?

[1:15:55] John Zip and Gisler could have gotten in on that shit.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:58] Was it really the Scrubs Hotel?

[1:15:59] Scrubs Hospital?

[1:16:00] Wow, now everyone's doing it.

[1:16:02] I worked with some people who worked on Scrubs, and they were like, oh yeah, that place

[1:16:05] was disgusting.

[1:16:06] It was infested with raccoons.

[1:16:07] It makes me wonder all of them.

[1:16:09] Jettley every day had to go in and fight off raccoons to clear out the set.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:13] Oh, that's great.

[1:16:14] Yes, that is a true fact.

[1:16:15] I did not make that up.

[1:16:17] I'm not that creative.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:19] Now is the time where we render our final judgments, which of course are binding in

[1:16:25] all courts of the land.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:28] I've got a pretty good feeling about how this one's going to shake out.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:32] A good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie we kind of like.

[1:16:36] I'm going to say, yeah, I kind of like this movie.

[1:16:39] I will say, like Elliot, occasionally my brain would slide off it, and too often it would

[1:16:44] happen during the stuff that is theoretically the reason for the movie existing, like the

[1:16:49] fight scenes.

[1:16:50] Sometimes I would just be like, oh, I should be paying more attention to this.

[1:16:54] This is the meat of why this exists.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:56] This is what's happening in the movie.

[1:16:58] This is when the bodies are hitting the floor.

[1:17:00] But it is.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:02] They're just letting it happen.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:03] I guess there's nothing wrong with it.

[1:17:04] Swimming in the drowning pool.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:06] It is so silly and big and like fast on its feet being silly and big that I had a good

[1:17:14] time watching it.

[1:17:15] So yeah, I liked the one.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:17] Stuart.

[1:17:18] Yeah, it goes down super easy.

[1:17:20] You know, I was a little concerned that it wasn't going to be as good as I remembered.

[1:17:24] And I still think it's like a fucking super straightforward, like dumbass 90s style, like high concept action

[1:17:34] movie like the aforementioned Time Cop.

[1:17:37] But the added advantage is it does have a great ending.

[1:17:41] It has a killer soundtrack.

[1:17:44] And of course, it has, you know, young Jason Statham, Jet Li, Carlo Gugino, Delroy Lindo, Dean Norris briefly.

[1:17:53] Yeah.

[1:17:53] So I still liked it.

[1:17:55] This is still a movie I kind of like.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:57] I think for me, it's kind of on the line between movie I kind of liked and a good, bad movie.

[1:18:01] I think for that reason of I had trouble feeling invested in watching it.

[1:18:06] Not I'm not asking to be invested in the characters or their emotional journey, but like any movie

[1:18:10] where I find myself kind of going into a haze or a trance and then I pick up and I go, oh,

[1:18:15] oh, yeah, the movie's on.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:16] Did you see the part where you smack somebody with a motorcycle?

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:20] I think what it really is, there was more stuff like I feel like there are stretches of the movie

[1:18:24] that are not as imaginative or like fun.

[1:18:27] And considering that people who made it where it's like this is James Wong directing it

[1:18:32] and he and Glenn Morgan wrote it and they wrote some of the best episodes of the X-Files

[1:18:35] and like James Wong did what Final Destination?

[1:18:37] Final Destination.

[1:18:39] Like I wish there was like a few more scenes like the motorcycle fight or that big pyramid fight

[1:18:45] at the end where I was just like, whoa, like what is going on?

[1:18:48] This is intense.

[1:18:48] Over the top, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:50] Apparently this movie was originally meant to be a project starring Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

[1:18:55] Really?

[1:18:57] He would have.

[1:18:58] A different movie.

[1:18:58] Yes, I think it would have been a different movie.

[1:19:00] I think it would have had less, probably martial arts.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:02] Yes.

[1:19:03] Probably less martial arts.

[1:19:05] Probably he wouldn't speak Chinese with his wife in the movie, but you never know.

S4

[1:19:09] John Cedar might have.

[1:19:10] He speaks Chinese.

[1:19:11] Oh, I didn't know that.

[1:19:15] Oh, yeah, if it's my turn.

[1:19:16] What's your final judgment, Michael?

[1:19:18] I think that this was a, well, I actually kind of agree with Elliot.

[1:19:21] It's a movie I kind of like and I also think it's kind of a good, bad movie.

[1:19:24] Like it was really fun to watch.

[1:19:26] I'll put it as a movie I kind of like because there's so many moments of, you know, new metal

[1:19:30] and martial arts and I am nostalgic for this period.

[1:19:33] In the opening action sequence, there were practical muzzle flashes that just like, just

[1:19:37] got this physical reaction from me because I haven't seen that in a long time.

[1:19:40] And it was just lighting up the frame and there's some really cool effects that I think hold

[1:19:44] up and some goofy effects that like don't.

[1:19:47] But I think kind of what you guys have been saying, it begins in a place that has a lot

[1:19:53] more science fiction to it and ends in a place that has a lot more science fiction to it.

[1:19:56] And there's kind of a portion in the middle where, oh, now we're in our universe and it

[1:20:00] just becomes, yeah, a little less inventive, a little less creative.

[1:20:03] And that's maybe where it gets to a bit of a zone out, but then goes out on maybe the

[1:20:08] highest of highs.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:11] It is.

[1:20:12] I mean, yeah, that ending is, I did, I feel as much as it was losing me at times in the

[1:20:16] middle, that ending, I was like, okay.

[1:20:19] And then the movie ended and I was like, oh.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:20] Yeah.

[1:20:21] I mean, I feel like you could have like zhuzhed up the science fiction stuff by having like

[1:20:25] other dimension hoppers, like bounty hunters trying to track down U-Law maybe.

[1:20:31] Cause you know, interdimensional bounty hunters always a thumbs up for me.

[1:20:34] Or maybe like the other Carla Gugino would have shown up and she's like, you promised to

[1:20:38] kill the other me's.

[1:20:39] Why aren't you doing it?

[1:20:40] So that's the thing.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:40] I was surprised that that character had such a strong impact on screen right from the beginning

[1:20:44] and we never saw her again.

[1:20:46] And it felt like.

S4

[1:20:46] Yeah, swarms of mice coming out from her shoes.

[1:20:50] She's like this.

S4

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:52] This femme fatale with mice in her shoes.

[1:20:55] And she's got such a connection with, um, uh, with, uh.

[1:21:00] U-Law?

[1:21:00] What's it?

[1:21:01] With U-Law?

[1:21:02] And it was just, I was surprised that she just didn't come back.

[1:21:04] It was surprising to me.

[1:21:06] Have her show up and pretend to be KT and like try to trick Gabe or something.

[1:21:10] But.

S4

[1:21:12] Oh, that would have been great because of course he's grieving her and then to see her again

[1:21:16] unexpectedly would have been, uh, I mean.

[1:21:18] Yeah.

[1:21:19] I can't imagine the emotion.

[1:21:20] Did James Wong direct Dragon Ball Evolution?

[1:21:22] Yes.

[1:21:22] The answer is yes.

[1:21:23] Yeah.

[1:21:23] No, I think he produced Willard that you just mentioned or something like that.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:27] Oh, maybe.

[1:21:28] Oh, really?

[1:21:28] Oh, that explains it.

[1:21:29] There's maybe a producer on that.

S4

[1:21:30] I believe he was also a producer on the show Millennium that I only know of from Stu mentioning

[1:21:34] it 30 times throughout the show.

[1:21:36] He did indeed produce Willard.

[1:21:38] No.

[1:21:38] The remake.

[1:21:39] Lance Henriksen?

[1:21:39] Oh, man.

[1:21:40] Yeah.

[1:21:40] With Chris Dallover.

S5

[1:21:46] Hey, I'm Jake Heath Van Stratton from Go Fact Yourself.

[1:21:49] And I'm here with MaxFun member of the month, Josh Mentor, who has been a Maximum Fun member

[1:21:55] since 2016.

[1:21:56] Hello, Josh.

[1:21:57] Hey, Jake Heath.

[1:21:58] How are you doing today?

[1:21:59] I'm so well.

[1:22:01] And thank you so much for being a listener and supporter of our show.

[1:22:04] What made you decide to support MaxFun in general and to support our show, Go Fact Yourself?

S4

[1:22:09] Jordan Morris on Jordan Jesse Go has a thing that he likes to say, which is, you know,

S5

[1:22:13] you tip your bartender a buck a beer, you tip your podcaster a buck a month.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:18] You know, I get way more use out of MaxFun podcasts than I do like Disney Plus or Netflix.

S5

[1:22:24] Well, it's something we very much appreciate.

[1:22:26] And by the way, when was the last time Netflix selected you as a member of the month?

[1:22:30] Exactly.

[1:22:31] Exactly.

[1:22:32] Josh Mentor, congratulations.

[1:22:34] And thank you again for being the MaxFun member of the month.

[1:22:38] Thanks so much, guys.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:39] Become a MaxFun member now at MaximumFun.org.

S5

[1:22:42] slash join.

S6

[1:22:45] Walkingabout is the podcast about walking.

[1:22:49] It's a walkumentary series where I, Alan McLeod, and a fun, friendly guest go for a walkabout.

[1:22:57] You'll learn about interesting people and places and have the kind of conversations you can only have on foot.

[1:23:05] We've got guests like Lauren Lapkus.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:08] I figured something out about this map, like how to read it.

S6

[1:23:12] Betsy Sedaro.

[1:23:14] I had no keys.

[1:23:15] That's awesome and nuts.

[1:23:17] John Gabrus.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:18] This is like great first date for like broke 20-something, you know.

[1:23:22] And more.

S6

[1:23:23] Check out walking about with Alan McLeod on Maximum Fun.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:29] Hey, it's Dan here with some late-breaking news, stuff that wasn't ready for air at time of recording, but now we can talk about.

[1:23:37] We're coming back to San Francisco Sketch Fest on January the 25th at 4 p.m. at Cobb's Comedy Club.

[1:23:48] Yep, it's an afternoon show for once, so you can get in, see us, have dinner, and then go wherever you want to go, you know.

[1:23:58] It'll be a little more laid back.

[1:24:01] We're very happy to be back at Sketch Fest.

[1:24:03] The best way to get tickets for that are to go to sfsketchfest.com and click on the schedule.

[1:24:12] Find Sunday the 25th, and there should be a buy tickets link connected to us, the Flophouse.

[1:24:20] We don't know exactly what movie we're doing just yet.

[1:24:24] We're pondering if there's maybe something San Francisco-based or just a big old flop, an historic flop that we haven't covered just yet.

[1:24:36] But we always have fun at SF Sketch Fest.

[1:24:39] We're happy to be back.

[1:24:40] We hope that we will see you there.

[1:24:43] This podcast, yes, this one, the one you're listening to right now, the Flophouse, is brought to you in overwhelming part by listeners like you who have become members at MaximumFun.org,

[1:24:55] allowing us to continue having an artist-owned podcast that is supported by the efforts of a worker-owned collective.

[1:25:04] All very rare, very valuable things in the world we live in right now.

[1:25:08] But we also have a couple of sponsors from the outside world, and one of them is Squarespace.

[1:25:14] Squarespace allows you to have a presence online, and these days you've got to have a presence online if you're doing pretty much any kind of business.

[1:25:23] So if you want to build your website, Squarespace gives you everything you need to do to offer services and get paid all in one place.

[1:25:31] With professional on-brand invoices and online payments, you can ensure that you will get paid on time, which is the best way to get paid, honestly.

[1:25:41] That plus, you know, it being a lot of money to the top ways to get paid.

[1:25:46] Plus, streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools.

[1:25:52] And Squarespace also offers a complete library of professionally designed, award-winning website templates with options for every use and category.

[1:26:00] You want your site to look good, and you can do that with intuitive drag-and-drop editing, beautiful styling options, visual design effects.

[1:26:09] No experience is required.

[1:26:10] You don't need to know how to code.

[1:26:13] You can just use Squarespace.

[1:26:15] So head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial.

[1:26:18] And when you're ready to launch, use offer code FLOP to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[1:26:28] We're also sponsored by Aura Frames.

[1:26:32] Hey, what if you can give a gift that brings your favorite holiday traditions and memories to life every day?

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[1:26:48] You know, I enjoy the holidays.

[1:26:54] I am a particular fan of Halloween, of course, but that one's past.

[1:26:59] That one's past.

[1:27:00] We got Christmas coming up.

[1:27:01] And as a kid who loved things, I certainly loved getting presents.

[1:27:08] But I also loved looking back on family moments together.

[1:27:14] And I've been very happy to have an Aura Frame where I can look back on the last several Christmases with Audrey and my family.

[1:27:22] And those will cycle in along with many other photos, like our wedding photos, which, you know, I feel like if you do wedding photos the traditional way, they go on an album.

[1:27:35] Maybe you pull them out at your anniversary.

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[1:28:15] This holiday season, you cannot wrap togetherness, but you can frame it.

[1:28:20] That's a little copy from Aura.

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[1:28:27] I kind of sang it that time.

[1:28:29] For a limited time, visit AuraFrames.com and get $45 off Aura's best-selling Carver Matte Frames, named number one by Wirecutter, by using promo code FLOP at checkout.

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[1:28:46] This exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year.

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[1:28:53] Support the show by mentioning us at checkout.

[1:28:56] Terms and conditions apply.

[1:28:58] And speaking of us, we continue to do our FLOP TV streaming series, our once a month brought to your home via the internet.

[1:29:10] We're not like a traveling show.

[1:29:12] Version of our live shows.

[1:29:14] We just did Xanadu in November.

[1:29:18] And coming up, we're going to do Zardoz in December.

[1:29:22] That is a movie that we've talked about a lot.

[1:29:25] But I personally have never seen, although I did a special report for this that I'm very keen on the guys saying I had a lot of fun recording the video for that.

[1:29:35] So if you're interested in that show or any of the shows, go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com and you can get tickets for one episode.

[1:29:46] Or you can get tickets in season pass form where you can watch all the episodes.

[1:29:50] And don't worry if you missed the ones in the past.

[1:29:52] They're still up there through the end of the FLOP HOUSE season.

[1:29:56] There'll probably be maybe a slight grace period.

[1:29:58] You can watch all of those on demand.

[1:30:01] So just go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com to enjoy FLOP TV.

[1:30:08] And now back to the show.

[1:30:11] Let us answer a couple of questions from the mailbag.

[1:30:15] Let's open up the old mailbag.

[1:30:16] Let's do it.

[1:30:17] Mailbag?

[1:30:18] Let's wade into the mailbag.

[1:30:21] It's just bubbling, churning piles of mail.

[1:30:26] It's hard to read because, of course, it's all wet and the ink is run.

[1:30:30] But here we go.

[1:30:31] This is from Hannah.

[1:30:33] Hannah, last name withheld.

[1:30:35] Who writes?

[1:30:35] Montana.

[1:30:35] And her sisters or just Hannah?

[1:30:37] Just singular Hannah.

[1:30:40] Hannah Montana and her sisters?

[1:30:41] Mm-hmm.

[1:30:42] Long-time listener.

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:43] Hannah, the girl of the assassin?

[1:30:44] That's a straight-up fucking movie trivia team name right there.

[1:30:47] Hannah Montana and her sisters.

[1:30:49] You're right.

[1:30:49] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:50] Put that in my back pocket.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:54] In fact...

[1:30:54] Then you've got to put another trivia team name in your other pocket to see how it's balanced.

[1:30:58] Yeah, so your hands don't fall down.

[1:30:59] That's how it works.

Dan McCoy

[1:31:02] In fact, I've been listening long enough to have sent an email years ago,

[1:31:05] and Dan replied with his Daily Show email account.

[1:31:07] Wow.

[1:31:07] It's only been like five years since I...

[1:31:09] It's been like...

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:10] Savage over here.

[1:31:11] So long.

Dan McCoy

[1:31:13] I volunteer with a...

[1:31:14] You're right, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:15] It makes sense that you still use that credit to get tables at restaurants.

[1:31:18] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:31:20] Elliot, you know very well that credit would go nowhere.

[1:31:24] Yeah.

[1:31:25] I volunteer with a program that goes to elementary schools and reads with second graders who need a little extra help getting up to their grade level in reading.

[1:31:34] Today, I had the joy of introducing my student to Elliot's books, Sharko and Hippo and Horse Meets Dog.

[1:31:40] Oh, thank you.

[1:31:41] I thought he liked them, and he loved them.

[1:31:43] At the end of our meeting, he picked Sharko and Hippo as his favorite of the day.

[1:31:47] All praise aside...

[1:31:48] Good.

[1:31:49] We got that praise out of the way.

[1:31:51] My question is...

[1:31:51] I was as uncomfortable as you were, Dan.

[1:31:53] Thank you.

[1:31:54] What books do you remember reading as children that were laugh out loud funny?

[1:31:58] For me, it was Superfudge by Judy Blume.

[1:32:01] Thanks for all the years of entertainment.

[1:32:04] Hannah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:06] I'm going to sidestep the question slightly to talk about children's books that I really thought were cool.

[1:32:12] And, of course, I'm going to say Monster at the End of the Book, baby.

[1:32:16] Oh, yeah.

[1:32:16] Monster at the End of the Book is a great book.

[1:32:18] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:19] I actually found a couple of classics really funny as a kid.

[1:32:24] The Winnie the Pooh books always had things that made me laugh in them, actually.

[1:32:28] Like the idea, for instance, that...

[1:32:32] No, he doesn't wear pants, just a shirt.

[1:32:34] That Pooh's scheme for getting honey in one of the stories is to, like, pretend to be a cloud, a rain cloud, to get close to the bees.

[1:32:42] And he does this by, you know, rolling himself in mud, floating up on a balloon, and having Christopher Robin go around beneath him with an umbrella going, tut, tut, it looks like rain.

[1:32:52] Which is...

[1:32:52] That's a pretty funny notion.

[1:32:55] And Eora, obviously, found very funny.

[1:32:59] And I remember laughing out loud at a lot of the Benicula books.

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:05] There's always something funny in there.

[1:33:07] I found them to be very scary, so...

Dan McCoy

[1:33:10] The idea of eating vegetables.

[1:33:12] Oh, yeah.

[1:33:13] Horrible.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:15] Are they only...

[1:33:16] I wonder if the letter writer only wants books we read as kids, or can we mention modern books?

[1:33:21] I'm sure you can say modern books.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:22] I think you can do whatever you want.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:23] As a parent who is also married to a children's librarian, we read a lot of children's books in our house.

[1:33:29] And there's a lot of really funny books out there.

[1:33:30] I'm going to mention some of them.

[1:33:31] Nothing Rhymes with Orange by Adam Rex.

[1:33:33] Hilarious.

[1:33:34] The picture book Recipe, written by Angela and Michael Ann Petrella.

[1:33:38] Super funny.

[1:33:39] The first Cat in Space series that Mac Barnett writes.

[1:33:43] And I'm forgetting the artist's name.

[1:33:45] Sean something.

[1:33:45] Anyway, I'll look it up.

[1:33:46] But that book's usually funny.

[1:33:49] The I Want My Hat Back by John Klassen.

[1:33:51] That's a really funny picture book.

[1:33:52] Snapsy the Alligator Does Not Want to Be in This Book is a really funny book with art by Tim Miller, who did The Horse Meets Dog.

[1:33:59] And my other most recent book, City Mouse Wrecks the House.

[1:34:04] Director of Deadpool.

[1:34:06] No, that's a different Tim Miller.

[1:34:08] But there's also...

[1:34:09] When I was a kid, I really loved The Stinky Cheese Man by John Shesta and Lane Smith, which is a very funny fairytale picture book.

[1:34:17] And I guess it's not...

[1:34:19] This is kind of like Stuart's answer.

[1:34:21] They recently announced they're making a movie of my favorite chapter book as a kid, which is Lizard Music by Daniel Pinkwater.

[1:34:28] And Daniel Pinkwater is such a funny writer.

[1:34:30] He wrote so many books for kids.

[1:34:31] They're so funny.

[1:34:32] But I'm a little trepidatious about them making a movie of this book.

[1:34:36] And it's one that me and my younger son, I read to him.

[1:34:39] Does it star as Jared Leto or something?

[1:34:41] No.

[1:34:41] Well, it's The Rock is going to be in it.

[1:34:43] Oh.

[1:34:44] Or Dwayne Johnson.

[1:34:45] But in a role that is not...

[1:34:46] It seems a little strange for him to be doing.

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:48] Is there like a giant rock man in it?

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:50] Yeah, exactly.

[1:34:51] He's playing a wrestling.

[1:34:52] Is there a professional wrestler?

[1:34:53] Yeah.

[1:34:54] But it's a book that has not a lot of...

[1:34:56] It's like a kid discovering strange things that all seem to be connected, but there's no conflict in it.

[1:35:02] And I'm very worried that...

[1:35:04] It's about a kid who discovers an island of talking lizards in a lake near his home.

[1:35:09] And at night, his television can pick up their signals, their television signals.

[1:35:13] And I'm worried they're going to make it one of these stories where it's like,

[1:35:16] we've got to save them from a developer or something like that.

[1:35:19] We've got to hide these lizard people.

[1:35:20] And I don't want it to be that.

[1:35:22] But I love that book.

[1:35:23] I think that's a book I'd recommend highly.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:25] I just remember something.

[1:35:26] Sorry.

[1:35:26] Did any of you ever read the Arabelle's Raven books?

[1:35:30] Arabelle's Raven books?

[1:35:32] No.

[1:35:32] It's a series by Joan Aiken, who is better known for like The Wolves of Willoughby Chase and sort of like...

[1:35:39] That I've heard of.

[1:35:39] Gothic, sort of pseudo-Victorian thrillery, young adult stuff.

[1:35:45] But I think these are forgotten, but it's about a young girl and her raven.

[1:35:50] And I found them very funny.

[1:35:51] But they seem to have fallen out of print.

[1:35:54] Michael, is there something that you remember?

S4

[1:35:57] Oh, I can't top Elliot, of course, with his intimate knowledge of children's books.

[1:36:01] But not really.

[1:36:02] I mean, I think...

[1:36:02] I'm kind of young at heart and brain.

[1:36:05] The ones that come to mind to me, I think, were when I was a little older.

[1:36:08] Any Australian listening wouldn't be surprised to hear about Paul Jennings,

[1:36:12] whose like Wicked books are unreal.

[1:36:14] Just kind of iconic, funny, but kind of gross books for kids.

[1:36:18] But when I thought of like the books that I read as a kid that I laughed at,

[1:36:21] I would have been 12, 13 when I read like Hitchhiker's Guide.

[1:36:25] And I know that's obviously like an older thing, but that felt like those were the first times I was like really laughing out loud at books.

[1:36:31] That and like...

[1:36:32] I used to read Spike Milligan parody books that he'd like do like Spike Milligan's Frankenstein or something.

[1:36:37] I think that they were a bit too adult for me at the time, but I still found them very silly and funny.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:43] Nice.

[1:36:44] This one is from Aaron Lastname Withheld who writes...

[1:36:48] Brockovich.

[1:36:49] I was listening to your episode on...

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:50] There's deadly chemicals in your podcast.

[1:36:53] What are you going to do about it?

[1:36:53] I'm going to sue you.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:54] I was listening to your episode on Until Dawn with Star of the Pod, Hallie Haddon.

[1:36:59] Until Dawn.

[1:37:00] And I wanted to say...

[1:37:02] Thank you for the theme song.

[1:37:03] I wanted to say that I wholeheartedly support Dan for pointing out that the main characters in the movie were hard to tell apart because they're all brunettes.

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:11] That's how you get a letter on the show, by the way.

[1:37:13] I know it might be easy.

[1:37:14] Tell Dan he's right about something.

Dan McCoy

[1:37:16] I know it might be easy for you folks who can easily distinguish faces, but I appreciated Dan giving a shout out to those of us who struggle with it.

[1:37:23] I, like many others, have something called prosopaginosia.

[1:37:27] I hope I said that correctly.

[1:37:29] Almost certainly not.

[1:37:30] It occurs because there's a special area of our brain that specifically recognizes faces, and that area may be impaired for some folks.

[1:37:38] In light of this, my question is, are there any movies, TV shows, or even podcasts where we've had trouble distinguishing between characters because they look or sound very similar,

[1:37:47] or because they disguise the actor so well in a later scene?

[1:37:51] As an example, I couldn't watch Orphan Black because every time Tatiana Maslany appeared as a new clone with a different look or personality, I couldn't tell if it was a clone or a completely new character.

[1:38:02] Thank you all for keeping on, keeping on.

[1:38:04] Aaron, last name with help.

[1:38:05] And actually, like, when Audrey heard that episode, she's like, why didn't you just say you were thinking about me?

[1:38:11] Because, like, part of it is, like, I don't think she has, like, full what you would quote-unquote call face blindness, but she has an interesting form where, like, sometimes she's like, I know I've seen this person and can, like, get it.

[1:38:25] And sometimes she looks at one thing of a person's face and thinks they look exactly like when they don't.

[1:38:30] I think she just hangs out with too many middle-aged white guys with beards.

[1:38:32] Look alike, yeah.

[1:38:35] Yeah, I don't, I mean, I, they included podcasts.

[1:38:39] I got to say that my first years listening to my brother, my brother and me, I had trouble telling them apart.

[1:38:45] And now, like.

[1:38:46] We are brothers.

[1:38:47] Now.

[1:38:47] It's in the name.

[1:38:48] I find it wild that I ever had any difficulty, you know, I mean, especially now having met them.

[1:38:53] But, like, but it was, it just seems very strange to me that I had that trouble.

[1:38:57] But sometimes when you're not familiar with something, you just.

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:01] Yeah, I mean, that's why it was really essential that we brought in an Elliot to zhuzh up the,

[1:39:05] the vocal diversity in our show.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:07] Because you guys have kind of like, uh-huh voices.

[1:39:09] And I have kind of a, eh-eh voice.

S4

[1:39:11] Yeah, I think I felt that way around this podcast at the beginning.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:14] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:39:14] I've heard that about people having trouble between me and Stuart.

[1:39:18] I don't think that we sound that much alike.

[1:39:21] But that's one that we have gotten.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:23] But you also think the word pin sounds like pen.

[1:39:26] Pen, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:28] You know, I mean, I'll find some regional problem of yours to make fun of.

[1:39:33] I don't think there is.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:34] I'm just playing Super Mario Brothers over here.

[1:39:36] Nothing I say wrong.

[1:39:38] Yeah.

[1:39:38] I have a movie answer to this, which is I really enjoyed the movie Dunkirk, but I could not tell

[1:39:44] most of the characters apart.

[1:39:46] Yeah.

[1:39:46] They all look like the same guy to me.

[1:39:49] And so I had a lot of trouble keeping track of who was who.

[1:39:51] Luckily, that's a movie where it doesn't really matter.

[1:39:53] It's not rich with unique characters.

[1:39:56] But I had a lot of, I felt like every new character, until Mark Rylance came on as the

[1:40:03] guy who owns a boat.

[1:40:05] I feel like everyone, I was like, oh, it's like a young British-y guy with brown hair.

[1:40:10] Okay.

[1:40:10] It's another one of those.

[1:40:12] Vaguely handsome.

[1:40:13] And I could not tell anyone apart in it.

[1:40:15] So.

Dan McCoy

[1:40:15] Yeah.

[1:40:16] I mean.

[1:40:16] Good thing.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:17] One guy is wearing, is in a plane with a mask over his face.

[1:40:20] The most famous, the other most famous guy in the movie.

[1:40:22] But, you know.

S4

[1:40:22] Can't understand what he's saying, but I know who he is.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:25] But that's how I knew who he was, because I couldn't understand what he was saying.

S4

[1:40:28] I really struggled with this movie called The One to differentiate between the characters

[1:40:33] of Gabe and Yul.

[1:40:35] I kind of have the opposite answer, whereby re-watching, like, The Prestige, where there

[1:40:42] are two Christian Bales, spoiler alert for The Prestige, and they're trying to disguise

[1:40:46] him.

[1:40:47] The first time I saw it, I was fairly young, and I didn't notice it.

[1:40:50] But knowing that twist going in, it's crazy to me that nobody can tell that those are two

[1:40:54] Christian Bales.

[1:40:55] They do a great job, but it's just, it's a very famous, recognizable guy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:00] Once you know it, on that one, that one especially, I love that movie.

[1:41:03] And when I first saw it, it took me by surprise.

[1:41:06] But yeah, once you know it, you're like, oh, okay.

[1:41:08] Like, they're barely, it looks like him.

[1:41:10] Yeah, yeah.

[1:41:11] It's a little bit like a.

S4

[1:41:12] They act wildly differently from scene to scene.

[1:41:16] But in that.

[1:41:16] He's always turning away.

[1:41:18] They really avoid showing him too front on.

[1:41:20] He's always kind of a presence that you don't see the face of too much.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:24] Yeah.

[1:41:24] I love the movie, The Thin Man.

[1:41:27] And I'll watch it with people.

[1:41:29] And I know who the killer is.

[1:41:30] And they don't.

[1:41:31] And I'm like, geez Louise, they're making it so obvious.

[1:41:35] This is, this is bonkers.

[1:41:36] How did that?

[1:41:37] There's nobody picking up this.

[1:41:38] But I didn't pick up on it the first time I saw it.

S4

[1:41:39] So it shows you.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:41] It's easy to know something.

[1:41:42] It's easy to figure something out when you know the answer already.

[1:41:44] You know?

S4

[1:41:44] Yeah.

[1:41:45] Although the one time that I noticed it, you know, like straight away, there's a movie called You Should Have Left with Kevin Bacon and Amanda Seyfried from 2020.

[1:41:54] Uh-huh.

[1:41:54] And the opening, it's directed by the guy who did Stir of Echoes.

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:58] I haven't watched this movie, but I remember the ads and realizing, I'm like, are these, are their characters supposed to be married in that movie?

[1:42:05] Amanda Seyfried?

[1:42:06] Yeah.

[1:42:06] But like, that was one of the few times where I saw an ad and I'm like, I need to check the age difference.

[1:42:13] Because it's like 25 years.

[1:42:14] I don't know.

[1:42:15] Okay, go on.

[1:42:15] Sorry.

S4

[1:42:16] She could definitely be playing his daughter and possibly has in other films.

[1:42:19] Yeah.

[1:42:20] But my old spoilers for this movie, the opening scene, there's like a dark character that's dimly lit, like talking nefariously kind of front onto the camera.

[1:42:29] And it's just so obviously Kevin Bacon with like a mustache.

[1:42:33] Right.

[1:42:34] And some makeup on there.

[1:42:35] They don't disguise it well enough at all.

[1:42:36] And then it like cuts to Kevin Bacon's a normal guy and we're going to learn that there's something going on with him later.

[1:42:41] And it's just like from the first moment, okay, Kevin Bacon's going to be the kind of spooky guy.

Dan McCoy

[1:42:46] That made me remember, it's not the exact, it's not the same thing at all actually.

[1:42:51] But like, this movie, A Murder of Crows, which I watched because it was directed by Rowdy Harrington of Roadhouse fame and stars Cuba Gooding Jr.

[1:43:06] Cubie.

[1:43:07] Cubie.

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:08] Cubie Gooding Jr.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:09] Tom Berenger.

[1:43:10] Cubie Halloween.

[1:43:11] Eric Stoltz.

[1:43:12] Eric Stoltz?

[1:43:13] Eric Stoltz.

[1:43:14] From Killing Zoe?

[1:43:15] Speaking of Eric Stoltz, there's a…

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:17] Almost from Back to the Future?

Dan McCoy

[1:43:21] Spoiler.

[1:43:21] There's a part in the movie where like a character is wearing such obvious makeup that it's like, I can't believe this movie thought I wouldn't know that it is this other character.

[1:43:33] It is insane that they're trying to build a twist around this makeup that they've put on this person.

[1:43:41] But it's, if you want to see some truly zany thriller filmmaking, check that one out.

S4

[1:43:50] The makeup thing is kind of like in Prometheus when you watch that for the first time.

[1:43:53] You're like, well, Guy Pearce is going to get younger.

[1:43:55] Like, he can't just stay like this.

[1:43:57] He can't do this.

[1:43:57] And then he does.

[1:43:58] It's such a…

[1:43:59] Perfect choice.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:00] I find that so funny that they were like, well, we're going to have the flashback scenes, so we need to have him play the old man too.

[1:44:04] Then they cut all the flashback scenes.

[1:44:06] It's like, oh, we should have hired an old man.

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:08] What are we doing?

[1:44:09] Oh, perfect.

[1:44:10] It's one of those things that when you first see it, you're like, is this a flaw?

[1:44:14] But then you think about it and you're like, no, it's great.

[1:44:16] Leave it in.

[1:44:17] It's enriching the text.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:20] Let us, you know, recommend a few movies.

[1:44:23] If you're not in the mood for a new metal actioner, what else could you possibly…

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:28] Oh, I have to recommend a non-new metal actioner now.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:32] I want to quickly say…

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:34] Well, if you were going to recommend a new metal actioner, Stuart, what would it be?

[1:44:36] No, I don't know.

[1:44:37] Not to put you on the spot.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:39] I went out and saw a rep screening of John Carpenter's The Fog, a movie that I know has…

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:46] Oh, is that why you texted us about The Fog?

[1:44:48] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:50] Sometimes I think it's funnier if there's no context, but I know that it baffles.

[1:44:54] So, I know that there's been a reclamation of The Fog, a movie that, like, at the time was, you know, not very well received.

[1:45:03] But it had, in the past, never been one of my favorites.

[1:45:06] Like, I recognize, like, oh, there's, like, stuff in here I like, but I kind of get bored trying to watch it at home.

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:13] Outside of Halloween, have any John Carpenter movies been, like, received super well?

[1:45:19] Uh, hmm.

[1:45:21] Because, like, The Thing wasn't super well received when it came out.

Dan McCoy

[1:45:24] There was, I know that, um…

[1:45:27] Assault on Precinct 13, but, I mean, that's not quite what you're asking.

[1:45:30] I know he had…

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:31] That was super well received?

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:34] When it came out, I think people were like, oh, this is…

[1:45:36] It wasn't, like, a huge movie, but it was like, oh, this is special for the kind of movie that it is.

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:39] Yeah.

[1:45:40] I think…

[1:45:42] Because the villain, the criminal's name, like, Napoleon Casanova or whatever.

[1:45:46] Immediately sidetracked me with a…

[1:45:49] Isn't that the bad guy in The Mystery Men?

[1:45:51] I think so, yeah.

[1:45:51] No, that's Casanova Frankenstein.

[1:45:54] Oh, Casanova Frankenstein.

[1:45:55] I know that, I know Escape from New York was a legit hit.

Dan McCoy

[1:45:58] Oh, okay, yeah.

[1:45:59] So…

[1:45:59] Yeah, that's true.

[1:46:01] Um, anyway, I don't, I don't have all the…

Stuart Wellington

[1:46:03] And I saw Escape from L.A. twice in the theater, so it must have been a hit.

[1:46:05] That was big.

[1:46:06] When Starman came out, that was big.

[1:46:07] People really like that a lot.

Dan McCoy

[1:46:09] I don't have all the receipts in front of me.

[1:46:10] All I know is I saw The Fog.

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:12] But, Dan, you're John Carpenter's accountant.

Dan McCoy

[1:46:14] I saw The Fog and…

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:16] All this money's been on video games.

Dan McCoy

[1:46:19] My suspicion that…

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:20] John, you can't buy any more synths.

[1:46:23] You're bleeding yourself dry.

[1:46:24] You have too many synths.

[1:46:25] You're like Johnny Depp with Houses.

[1:46:27] You're just buying too many synths, John.

Dan McCoy

[1:46:29] Yeah.

[1:46:29] My suspicion that it would play, you know, super better for me in the theater where I kind

[1:46:35] of have to be locked in was correct.

[1:46:37] Like, all of the stuff that at home felt a little slow in the theater, like, felt like

[1:46:43] beautiful atmospherics, like building the community, slowly building up sort of the vibes.

[1:46:52] It just looks really pretty.

[1:46:54] It's maybe his prettiest movie.

[1:46:56] I also feel like when I watched it before, like, as a younger dude, I'm like, I want a

[1:47:02] movie that's really going to be really scary, you know?

[1:47:04] And now, like, horror movies, like…

[1:47:07] I remember when you used to talk like that.

[1:47:08] Yeah, I want to know that guy.

[1:47:11] Horror movies are…

[1:47:13] I've seen so many of them that they don't scare me that much at all.

[1:47:18] Like, so it's not necessarily the first thing I'm looking for in a horror movie anymore.

[1:47:22] I just like the form of horror movies.

[1:47:25] I like the genre tropes.

[1:47:26] I like seeing what people do with it.

[1:47:29] So I was a lot more open to this, you know, which is also a very old-fashioned ghost story

[1:47:36] in a way that I think before might have felt corny to me, but now it feels like classic

[1:47:42] and cozy.

[1:47:43] And it's just like a fun thing to hang out in.

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:46] Dan, do you want to see a really scary movie?

[1:47:50] Why don't you watch The News?

Dan McCoy

[1:47:53] So I'm going to recommend a movie.

[1:47:57] Do you think The News is a movie?

Stuart Wellington

[1:48:01] Yeah, I watch it for 90 minutes and then I turn it off.

[1:48:03] Okay.

[1:48:05] And you can just walk away from it.

[1:48:06] There's no sequels.

[1:48:08] Speaking of sequels, I'm going to recommend a sequel that I watched earlier today.

[1:48:12] I'm going to recommend Den of Thieves Pantera, the sequel to Den of Thieves, both movies starring

[1:48:19] Gerard Butler and O'Shea Jackson.

[1:48:22] O'Shea Jackson Jr.

[1:48:23] Is it?

[1:48:24] Junior?

[1:48:24] Junior, yeah.

[1:48:26] And this is like peak, like Michael Mann wannabe, but with the like divorce dad element

[1:48:34] dialed up a little bit.

[1:48:35] It's super great, like heist movie action cinema.

[1:48:39] The first movie is a fairly narrow, the first movie Den of Thieves is a fairly narrow scope

[1:48:45] set in LA about robbing a federal reserve.

[1:48:48] Gerard Butler plays a like genuinely gross, like somewhat corrupt cop, I guess very corrupt,

[1:48:58] who gets kind of involved in this whole thing.

[1:49:01] His name is Big Nick, right?

[1:49:02] He's Big Nick.

[1:49:03] Yeah.

[1:49:04] And he like, I applaud the movie for how gross they make him.

[1:49:08] Like he looks like he has not showered in weeks.

[1:49:11] He like, you can smell the like cheap cologne and booze sweats on him emanating from his

[1:49:18] Wilson's leather jacket he's wearing at all times.

[1:49:21] And this movie, like it opens it up a little bit.

[1:49:23] It's set in France and it involves a heist of a diamond exchange, but it's still got like,

[1:49:30] it's still a lot of vibes.

[1:49:32] The action sequences are genuinely really tense and good.

[1:49:36] Yeah, it's really, it's really fun.

[1:49:37] I like, I like him.

[1:49:39] In the words of one of my bartenders, film critic Margaret Barton Fuomo, it rips.

Dan McCoy

[1:49:48] I'm glad you had to quote someone for, for that.

[1:49:51] Yeah, I'm giving her a shout out.

[1:49:52] That's.

[1:49:53] I mean, I love Margaret.

Stuart Wellington

[1:49:54] I get like a nickel every time I give somebody a shout out.

[1:49:57] Michael's been doing all fucking day with his fucking crew.

Dan McCoy

[1:50:00] His sleepover crew.

[1:50:03] All of his friends.

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:05] I'm going to, I'm going to recommend a sequel.

[1:50:08] Also, this is not, this is a sequel.

[1:50:10] Probably our, our listeners have listened to already heard about already because we've

[1:50:13] talked about it before, but I, you know, me, I don't get to watch a lot of movies these

[1:50:17] days, except flop house movies.

[1:50:18] But luckily for me on Halloween, I introduced my younger son to a certain movie that I really

[1:50:25] love.

[1:50:25] And he wanted to see the sequel, which I also really love.

[1:50:27] We watched it.

[1:50:28] And I was like, wait a minute.

[1:50:29] In the one Dean Norris is like part of this like tactical squad in this movie.

[1:50:36] Dean Norris is part of a tactical squad.

[1:50:38] And that movie is gremlins to the new batch where Dean Norris makes a very short appearance

[1:50:41] as part of this tactical squad.

[1:50:43] So I'm going to recommend we watched it.

[1:50:45] We watched gremlins on Halloween.

[1:50:47] Me and my younger son, he really loved it.

[1:50:49] He loved it so much.

[1:50:50] And so he would want to watch gremlins too.

[1:50:52] When we finished watching it yesterday, gremlins too.

[1:50:54] And he, he was going literally made it him to wound up and he had trouble going to bed

[1:50:58] afterwards.

[1:50:58] He was like, he was like, this is my favorite movie.

[1:51:01] Now this is my favorite movie before it was over.

[1:51:03] So I'm going to recommend gremlins too, the new batch.

[1:51:06] It's just so fun watching it.

[1:51:07] I was like, this movie is so fun.

Stuart Wellington

[1:51:08] We went to a, we went to a screening of the Nighthawk and I got to wound up.

[1:51:12] Yeah.

[1:51:13] He's running around.

[1:51:14] He's running in the aisles.

[1:51:15] It was so hard.

[1:51:16] Hulk Hogan had to tell you to sit down.

Elliott Kalan

[1:51:19] There's something about seeing, uh, like the, and just the older I get, the more people

[1:51:23] in the cast I recognize for their other work.

[1:51:26] And so like when I was a kid, I didn't know who Paul Bartel was, but like now seeing him

[1:51:31] in the movie, in a scene, the Hulk Hogan is so funny to me.

[1:51:34] And just seeing like, um, I don't know, just everyone who shows up in it, seeing, um,

[1:51:39] uh, uh, why am I forgetting his name?

[1:51:41] Who, uh, who plays the, um, the seeing John Astin in it, seeing Henry Gibson show up and

[1:51:47] just put in a, in a wordless role.

[1:51:49] Like it's so Dick Miller.

[1:51:51] I mean, of course Dick Miller, but like seeing the actress were in it.

[1:51:53] It's just so fun.

[1:51:54] So I'm going to say Gremlins 2.

[1:51:56] Why not?

[1:51:57] Watch it.

[1:51:57] It's super fun.

[1:51:58] Do it.

S4

[1:51:59] Hell yeah.

[1:52:00] Yeah.

[1:52:00] Um, really quickly on Gremlins 2.

[1:52:01] I was just in, uh, Spain for the Sitges film festival.

[1:52:05] And, um, I, I never know what's going to happen to these festivals because I just like arrive

[1:52:09] and somebody kind of, you know, takes me around to what I do.

[1:52:11] I'm not really a planner, but, um, there was one thing.

[1:52:14] It's like, oh, there's a dinner tonight.

[1:52:15] Just you and some of the other directors, you know, we'll just, we'll just show up here,

[1:52:18] get in a car, you go to dinner.

[1:52:19] And I got in the car and there was an older gentleman and he said, oh, hi, I'm Joe.

[1:52:22] I'm one of the directors.

[1:52:23] And I was like, are you fucking Joe Dante?

[1:52:25] He was like, yeah, I am.

[1:52:27] And then he was super nice.

[1:52:28] Him and his wife were great.

[1:52:29] And it was a totally unexpected, uh, night of eating paella with John, uh, Joe Dante.

[1:52:34] And I never thought that would happen.

[1:52:36] That's amazing.

[1:52:36] He was, he was very cool.

[1:52:38] Um, now that my pathetic name dropping's out of the way, uh, I'd like to recommend a movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:43] I'm just glad you mentioned somebody we'd heard of after talking about your childhood friends.

S4

[1:52:47] Shout out to my New Zealand childhood friends.

[1:52:48] Uh, Michael Van Bieg, Thomas Sullivan and Robertson, Samuel Dunford Baker.

[1:52:51] Uh, maybe you guys.

[1:52:53] Uh, well, I don't.

[1:52:55] Like an yearbook ad over here.

[1:52:56] Anyway, yeah.

[1:52:58] An ad for a yearbook.

[1:52:59] Um, my, uh, my favorite movie that I've seen this year, I think is, uh, a movie called, uh,

[1:53:06] Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie.

[1:53:08] I don't know if that means anything to you guys.

[1:53:10] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:53:11] Nirvana, the band is this show, this kind of comedy duo slash collective that's been making stuff for almost 20 years now, uh, starting on the web and then becoming a television show.

[1:53:22] And then they've made this film, Matthew Johnson.

[1:53:23] You might know from, uh, he directed things like, uh, Blackberry and some other stuff.

[1:53:29] But I watched this movie and it is, it is just kind of, it's a, it's so fun.

[1:53:33] It's so funny.

[1:53:34] I was at the premiere at South by Southwest and just the, the vibes and the laughter in the room was insane.

[1:53:40] Like, not only is it just an insanely funny, uh, kind of back to the future parody about traveling back to 2008, but, uh, it is like a feat of low budget filmmaking that it's incomprehensible how they pulled off some of the set pieces.

[1:53:55] Uh, a lot of the stuff that those guys do is they will kind of shoot in public with slightly hidden cameras.

[1:54:00] And then if a member of the public gets involved in the scene, they'll happily bring them in and then like rewrite other scenes to shoot earlier in the movie so that this weird interaction that they haven't written feels like a perfect payoff to something that was set up.

[1:54:13] So it has this just really, um, elastic, uh, quality to it where the film is just like a joy from start to finish, but thinking back on it from a technical point of view, it, I, it boggles the brain that it exists.

[1:54:26] And, uh, I, I was really, really flabbergasted of it as a, as a work of filmmaking and so super, super fun.

Elliott Kalan

[1:54:32] Do you notice it?

[1:54:33] I was reading about that the other day and I was trying to figure out how I could see it.

[1:54:36] I was wondering, do you know if it's available anywhere yet?

S4

[1:54:38] It's being distributed by Neon.

[1:54:40] Um, I think it's a pretty limited distribution.

[1:54:43] I think that they were doing a city by city tour in, in the States.

[1:54:46] So I'm sure it'll come out to streaming sometime eventually, but if there's any chance to see it in a cinema, I think it would be a, it was a raucous experience for me.

[1:54:54] And I went as a fan, but I went with somebody who'd never heard of them, never seen any of this stuff.

[1:54:58] And he had a great time as well.

Dan McCoy

[1:54:59] Yeah.

[1:55:00] I've, I, yeah, I've heard great word about that.

[1:55:02] I'm very curious about it.

[1:55:04] Um, but, uh, now we should give you a chance to, uh, plug your own stuff if you, so, if you so desire.

S4

[1:55:12] Uh, oh, sure.

[1:55:13] I don't have a lot to plug.

[1:55:14] I guess I'll plug, uh, the movie together, which I wrote and directed and came out, uh, earlier in the year.

[1:55:18] It's now available on streaming.

[1:55:20] Uh, so, uh, check that out.

Stuart Wellington

[1:55:23] It's about, uh, two people battling to become one, right?

S4

[1:55:27] Yeah, it really, really is.

[1:55:29] Um, how apropos.

[1:55:31] Yeah.

[1:55:31] Um, you know, it's, it's, it's a horror movie.

[1:55:33] It's a body horror.

[1:55:34] Uh, it's got, I'm really proud of, uh, of the film.

[1:55:36] And I think Dave Franco and Alison Brie are great in it.

[1:55:39] I've got Dave in my background here kind of screaming at us, which is good fun.

[1:55:43] But, uh, yeah, it's, uh, you'll laugh, you'll cry, it'll change your life.

Elliott Kalan

[1:55:47] I heard, I heard it was a movie about Alison Brie touching Dan's shoulder.

[1:55:50] Okay, that's nuts.

Dan McCoy

[1:55:52] Yes, it was.

[1:55:53] Thanks again for that.

[1:55:56] I didn't, that makes it seem like I sent, like, a voice memo that I was just, I, you know,

[1:56:01] casually was like, oh, that was a high point.

[1:56:03] Anyway.

[1:56:04] I didn't know a text message could be sweaty.

[1:56:06] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:56:06] The text message said in parentheses, creepy.

[1:56:08] Thanks again for that.

[1:56:10] But it seems like the movie's been received really well.

[1:56:12] That's, that's great.

[1:56:13] Does that, was that like a shocker for you or you?

S4

[1:56:17] Well, I mean, it was a shocker too.

[1:56:18] I mean, you know, this is my first feature film.

[1:56:20] Uh, it's a completely independent film that we shot in Melbourne, Australia.

[1:56:23] And then I spent months, uh, you know, in the editing room, uh, down here.

[1:56:27] And I, I did a lot of the visual effects in the film myself.

[1:56:29] So I ended up spending extra months just kind of in, in this room here with my computer,

[1:56:33] just kind of making the film, uh, finish off.

[1:56:36] And then we premiered at Sundance and we like hadn't test screened it and nobody had seen it before.

[1:56:40] And, uh, it ended up selling for the highest amount, uh, at Sundance this year.

[1:56:45] And the, just the reaction in the room was like the first joke landed, uh, the first jump scare got a gasp.

[1:56:51] And you could just feel that you had it.

[1:56:52] And, uh, yeah, I spent most of the screening holding my partner's hand and holding my producer's hand and just kind of happily weeping.

[1:56:59] And, uh, so for it to have, have come out to be, yeah, uh, received so well, like, uh, around the world, it's been, uh, it's been an amazing and unexpected experience.

[1:57:06] Honestly, it's been quite overwhelming.

[1:57:08] So, uh, I'm sort of enjoying having just got back from Spain, just kind of taking a minute and trying to readjust to, to live post the movie.

[1:57:16] But yeah, it's been a treat.

[1:57:16] And it allowed me to meet, uh, two of my three flavor, favorite floppers in the flesh in New York City.

[1:57:22] Yeah.

[1:57:22] Yeah, that's the important thing.

[1:57:24] You get to tour the world and meet podcasters.

[1:57:27] Well, they were like, hey, do you know anybody in New York?

[1:57:29] We've got you tickets.

[1:57:30] And I'm like, fine.

[1:57:31] I guess I'll reach out to Stu on Instagram.

[1:57:33] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:57:33] Thank you.

[1:57:34] It was very kind of you to do that.

[1:57:36] Oh, my pleasure.

[1:57:37] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:57:37] I'm like, who did I get a random DM from?

[1:57:40] Wait a minute.

[1:57:42] Yeah.

[1:57:43] Yeah.

S4

[1:57:44] Well, actually this film came together from a random DM, from a producer being like, hey, we saw a short film you liked.

[1:57:48] What else do you got?

[1:57:49] So, uh, you know, sometimes there's gold in those hills.

Stuart Wellington

[1:57:52] Yeah.

[1:57:52] A lot of it is like, I will say almost all the good things that have happened in my career have been me randomly saying yes to things that seemed crazy.

Dan McCoy

[1:58:00] Hmm.

[1:58:01] Um, well, thank you, uh, for, uh, being on the show, particularly because, uh, as reference, you're doing it from the other side of the world.

[1:58:09] So we had to, uh, you know, coordinate a schedule that, I don't know, wasn't too miserable for anyone, hopefully.

[1:58:17] Um, hey, what else would I want to do on a beautiful Saturday afternoon?

[1:58:21] Excellent.

[1:58:22] Um, I'd like to, before we go, thank our producer, Alex Smith.

[1:58:27] He goes by the name of Howell Dottie, all over the place online.

[1:58:31] You can watch his Twitch streams, listen to his podcast.

[1:58:33] He's just Howell Dottieing all over the place.

[1:58:35] Yeah.

[1:58:35] Man, that guy loves to Howell Dottie.

[1:58:38] Uh, you can go to MaximumFun.org, check out other great shows on the network.

[1:58:44] Um, you know, hey, just another plug here at the end for Flop TV, right?

[1:58:49] Why not?

[1:58:50] Why not?

Dan McCoy

[1:58:50] We don't mention it at odd moments to surprise the listener, uh, enough so they can't skip

[1:58:56] over it.

[1:58:57] Flop TV's going on.

[1:58:58] Theflophouse.simplethinks.com.

[1:59:00] Okay.

[1:59:00] But, uh, yeah.

[1:59:02] Thank you all for listening.

[1:59:03] For the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:59:05] I've been Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[1:59:07] I've been Elliot Kalin, author of Joke Farming, How to Write Comedy and Other Nonsense on bookstore

[1:59:10] shelves now.

[1:59:11] I should have mentioned that earlier at the top of the show when I introduced myself.

[1:59:14] And we've been joined today by...

S4

[1:59:16] Michael Shanks, thank you very much for, uh, having me.

[1:59:19] And thanks to the listeners for listening.

Stuart Wellington

[1:59:21] Oh, that's you.

[1:59:23] So professional.

[1:59:23] You heard it.

[1:59:24] Bye.

[1:59:26] Can I hear it?

Dan McCoy

[1:59:35] I thought it's in a seductive mood because it's, uh...

Stuart Wellington

[1:59:38] It's, yeah, it's late as hell over there.

[1:59:40] What, six o'clock?

[1:59:40] Five o'clock?

[1:59:42] Five o'clock.

[1:59:43] Oh, man, it's a very wishy hour of night.

[1:59:46] This is when we get pretty loose around here.

Elliott Kalan

[1:59:49] That's where Elliot starts sending his you up texts.

[1:59:51] This is when I take a break from work and then I don't pick up again until 9 p.m.

Dan McCoy

[1:59:56] Ooh.

[1:59:57] Pretty hot.

[1:59:58] I see by your card, Stuart, that you're on summary duties.

[2:00:03] Would you also like to introduce our guest?

[2:00:06] Okay.

[2:00:07] It's fascinating to see the sausage get made.

[2:00:09] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[2:00:10] Oh, wow, yeah.

[2:00:10] You're like, wow, I didn't realize it was so super professional.

Dan McCoy

[2:00:13] The sausage kind of, like, falls down the stairs and somehow gets into the casing during

[2:00:17] the process.

[2:00:18] A lot gets smushed down.

[2:00:20] Yeah.

[2:00:22] Maximum Fun.

Elliott Kalan

[2:00:23] A worker-owned network.

S4

[2:00:25] Of artists-owned shows.

[2:00:26] Supported.

[2:00:27] Directly.

[2:00:28] By you.

Ep.#466 - The One, with Michael Shanks

Transcript

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