FH Mini 70 - Xmas Movies?

[0:00] Welcome, everybody. Thank you so much for joining us today with your ears on the Flophouse.

Elliott Kalan

[0:10] This is the Flophouse podcast. My name, of course, is Elliot Kalin. I say, of course,

[0:14] because my voice has become legendary in its shrillness and unpleasantness to our legions

[0:20] of Flophouse listeners. I want to also apologize before I introduce my co-host. I'm recording

[0:24] in my in-laws garage, so you may hear their heater turn on and off at various points during

[0:29] the episode. Just a little bit of audio texture. Let's consider it kind of real life, just scene

[0:34] setting, as if this was being recorded outside and you could hear birds chirping, except it's

[0:39] the heater turning on and off. I'm joined, of course, by my regular co-hosts. They're with

[0:43] us every week in and out at the Flophouse. One of them is me, Dan McCoy, and I will say,

Dan McCoy

[0:49] as I always do, my ears are with you. Sure. You always say that. It's got to the point that

Stuart Wellington

[0:56] I'm sick of hearing it. And I am Stuart Wellington, and I'm very excited because Elliot is getting

[1:03] into the spirit of the season. The reason for the year, that's right, he is hanging out in

[1:08] a garage. The reason for the whole year?

[1:10] The reason for the whole year. The whole year is for Elliot to get bundled up in a garage

[1:14] where he is colder than I am because normally he's much hotter than I am.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19] Yes. Well, I mean, physically, Stuart is much hotter than I am, but temperature-wise...

[1:23] I am incendiary. It's true.

[1:26] Yeah. Since I live in... Dan, you don't need to talk about how much less attractive I am.

[1:29] What? No, no, no. That's not what I was going to...

[1:31] We established it. But usually, I'm in California. He's in New York. So usually, my winter temperatures,

[1:36] if they get into the low 60s, then I'm like, ooh, got to bundle up.

[1:39] Oh, time to put on a second pair of cargo shorts.

[1:43] I better put on a second coat of sunblock because it's so cold out. But no, it's the other way

[1:49] around this time. Okay, everybody. Normally in the flop.

Dan McCoy

[1:52] No, it did solve... What I was trying to say, not anything about your attractiveness

[1:57] vis-a-vis one another. I was trying to say that it did solve a Zoom mystery where I was like,

[2:02] it looks like Ellie's in a different garage. But you know what? Most garages look pretty

[2:08] much like one another, and the garage is usually dark. Perhaps that's the same garage. But the

[2:12] fact that you're in what appears to be a different garage, and is indeed a different garage, and

[2:17] wearing a puffy jacket, which you're not wearing when you're in LA, tells me, of course, he's

[2:22] with the in-laws in more Northern California than he normally is.

Elliott Kalan

[2:26] I'm glad, Dan, that you could take us through that Sherlockian chain of deduction.

[2:31] Yeah.

[2:32] It was as relevant to the listeners as it was exciting.

[2:37] Columbo McCoy over here. I didn't realize Hercule Dan Rowe had shown up to this Flophouse

[2:43] Mini.

Stuart Wellington

[2:44] Dan didn't even point out the reoccurring part of Elliot's garages is that they all have

[2:49] studio lighting, clearly. They have a single, like, bear bulb above and behind us.

Elliott Kalan

[2:55] I mean, it isn't a garage. I'm sorry that in a car full of luggage and Hanukkah presents,

[3:01] I didn't also pack my ring light.

Dan McCoy

[3:02] I'm just saying that, you know, it doesn't need to look like you're being, you know, having

[3:06] your fingernails ripped out one by one by someone missed off screen.

Stuart Wellington

[3:11] Once Elliot starts investing in eye cream, face cream, body cream, all the creams.

[3:18] All the creams.

[3:18] Then you're going to, you really are going to want to make sure you have that ring light

[3:21] on you, buddy.

Elliott Kalan

[3:22] Hey, there's only one cream we're going to be talking about today and that's cream-smus.

[3:25] That's right. The holiday of the year. I may have pronounced it wrong. Normally on the

[3:29] Flophouse, we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. This is one of our mini episodes

[3:34] on the alternate weeks. We just do whatever we feel like because it's a free country for

[3:38] the time being for certain people at certain economic and also racial, you know, levels.

Stuart Wellington

[3:43] You're quoting the movie The Patriot, right?

Elliott Kalan

[3:47] I think so. Yeah. I mean, The Patriot, he goes, it's a free country for the time being.

[3:52] And people are like, well, no, it's not a free country yet. We're still subjects of the

[3:55] royal crown. He goes, but historically in context, we're actually freer than most colonial subjects

[4:00] in the world over and in some ways have more say in our local governments than actual British

[4:05] citizens in the United Kingdom. And then people are like, can we just get to the part where

[4:09] you're mad at your son and you're waiting to get metal figurines to make bullets?

Dan McCoy

[4:13] You're arguing on behalf of the crown in this situation? I mean, as a character, I assume.

Stuart Wellington

[4:19] As played by Tom Wilkinson.

[4:21] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[4:23] Yes. Everyone who's seen The Patriot, you may have forgotten that the crown comes to life

[4:27] and goes to America to engage in a debate. He morphs into Tom Wilkinson. And then when

[4:32] Mel Gibson defeats him in the debate, he turns back into a crown going, no, king me.

[4:36] Yeah. Double morph.

[4:38] Yeah.

[4:38] Yeah. Anyway, this is a mini. And guess what? We've talked about it. It's Creamsmith time.

[4:44] And that's the time when people have the same debate about Christmas movies. You may hear it.

[4:50] There's that heater that went on. They have the same debate about Christmas movies that we have

[4:53] every year because Christmas is about nothing if it's not about having the same arguments year

[4:59] after year after year with the same people. So Christmas movies, let's just do a quick primer

[5:03] on them. They're movies that are some way about Christmas. It's a whole genre of its own.

[5:08] And I was wondering, Dan, Stu, to you, what makes a movie a Christmas movie?

Dan McCoy

[5:14] If Christmas plays a significant part in the plot of the film in some way.

[5:23] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[5:24] So The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Christmas movie?

Dan McCoy

[5:26] I would allow it being a Christmas movie. Well, I mean, like, for instance, not to get ahead of

[5:31] ourselves.

Elliott Kalan

[5:31] Because some people would call that an Easter movie because the Easter bunny appears in one scene.

Dan McCoy

[5:36] Well, you asked us.

[5:37] Like Critters 2.

[5:40] You asked us to think, not to get ahead of ourselves. I'm sure you'll get.

[5:42] Let's, I don't know if, let's not get ahead of ourselves because I have an introduction set up

Elliott Kalan

[5:46] and everything.

Stuart Wellington

[5:46] Okay. Well, I'm going to say Dan had a long, a terrible definition. My definition is it has

[5:53] Christmas or Xmas in the title.

Elliott Kalan

[5:55] Okay. Now what if it's called like Triple Xmas, State of the Union, and it's about, it just

[6:00] happens to be set during Christmas, but it's an action movie.

[6:02] It's got to be about Christmas. It's a Christmas movie.

[6:04] Okay. Okay. So if that's the case, tell me your quintessential Christmas movie. What's a movie

[6:08] where you're like, it's Christmas. I don't experience Christmas. Let me watch a Christmas

[6:12] movie. What's the Christmas movie you gravitate towards in your Christmassy lives?

Dan McCoy

[6:17] I mean, the thing that I mean, the true answer is not actually as Christmassy a movie as people

[6:23] say it's, it's a wonderful life, which ends with, you know, I guess it's new years actually,

[6:30] but like the, it's a, I guess it's Christmas. I don't know. They sing all links on, which

[6:35] confuses the whole thing. Cause that's, but, but it's.

Elliott Kalan

[6:38] Well, I know early, just to peek behind the curtain earlier today, Dan was, was a live

[6:42] texting us about watching Spawn. So I assume that's a Christmas movie you return to again

[6:47] and again.

[6:48] Christmas film.

[6:49] The original Spawn starring, was it Michael Jai White and John Leguizamo?

Dan McCoy

[6:53] Yes. Yes. And Martin Sheen. Uh, Christmassy is all get out, but no, um, no, it's a wonderful

[7:01] life as a film that became a Christmas movie through falling into the public domain and being

[7:06] played by every outlet that could play it at Christmas. And I think it's a superior film

[7:13] to other Christmas films that are more Christmassy. So it's my Christmas pick, but I see Stuart's

[7:18] hand up, but I want to say that probably if there's a quintessential Christmas classic

[7:23] that I would watch, it's more of a Miracle on 34th street area, even though I like.

Elliott Kalan

[7:27] A movie that's about Santa Claus.

Dan McCoy

[7:28] About Santa Claus. Even though I like It's a Wonderful Life better.

[7:31] Stuart, go.

Elliott Kalan

[7:31] Okay. And Stuart, what's your, what were you going to say to Dan? And also what's your

[7:34] quintessential Christmas movie?

Stuart Wellington

[7:36] Okay. So just one follow-up question about Dan's, uh, Dan's choice is Al Simmons in, uh,

[7:43] It's a Wonderful Life.

Elliott Kalan

[7:46] I don't know who that is.

[7:48] Dan, Dan, does anyone just watch the movie?

[7:50] You just watched Spawn.

[7:50] You just watched, not since he couldn't remember if Jackie Chan was in a film.

[7:54] Has Dan been more ignorant of a movie he just watched?

[7:55] Is that the real name of Spawn?

[7:56] He's the titular Spawn, yeah.

[7:58] That's Spawn's name.

[7:59] Al Simmons.

Dan McCoy

[8:00] How much time is he referred to as that? Like, he's not a, like, it's not a, it's not Peter

[8:07] fucking Parker. It's not a famous, you know, secret identity.

Elliott Kalan

[8:12] It is to the Spawn heads out there.

[8:13] Yeah.

[8:14] Dan, tell me, how many times in It's a Wonderful Life does John Leguizamo's head turn into a

[8:17] balloon?

Dan McCoy

[8:19] Zero times. I guess you're right. On that scale, Spawn is a superior film.

Elliott Kalan

[8:24] At one point, I mean, the thing is, if It's a Wonderful Life had been able to play out the

[8:27] way that it would have without Clarence the Angel intervening, George Bailey would have

[8:31] been dragged to hell just like Al Simmons is and would have had to make a deal with Mal

[8:34] Bolgia.

Stuart Wellington

[8:35] And then he would have shown back up with a fuckload of cool chains.

[8:40] Yeah, you know it.

[8:41] Oh, man. Okay, so I'm going to, I think my answer is, it goes against my original point,

[8:49] which was it has to have Christmas or X-mas in the title.

[8:52] Uh, I would say, uh, I take literally no pride or joy in saying this. It's probably something

[9:01] like Love Actually.

Elliott Kalan

[9:03] Okay.

[9:04] Which is, I've never seen it, but I know it's set during Christmas.

[9:07] It is.

[9:07] It's a movie that, uh, the culture took a real hard turn on at a certain point and having

[9:12] never seen it, I don't know exactly why.

[9:14] It did for good reasons.

Dan McCoy

[9:15] No, it's one of those movies that's, that is terrible, but the terribleness is inseparable

[9:20] from what's wonderful about it as well.

[9:22] Yes.

[9:23] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[9:24] So kind of like, uh, kind of like Masters of the Universe that way.

[9:26] Okay.

[9:27] Makes sense.

[9:27] Okay.

[9:28] So Christmas, there's Christmas movies.

[9:30] It's just one genre of movies.

[9:31] Christmas is such an omnipresent piece of Western civilization as someone who is being assaulted

[9:38] by it constantly this time of year, a day out, day out, day out.

[9:42] That even the movies that are not Christmas movies often have scenes or aspects of them

[9:46] that involve Christmas.

[9:48] And that's why we're entering a little special episode of the minis.

[9:51] I'm calling this episode, Yule Got Another Thing Coming.

[9:54] When we're going to be talking about movies that aren't Christmas movies, or are they because

[9:59] they have Christmas scenes.

[10:00] And of course, Yule Got Another Thing Coming, as the title would tell you, is brought to you

[10:03] by Celestial, the Rob Halford Christmas album.

[10:06] Rob Halford and his family and friends have come together to sing their favorite Christmas

[10:10] songs with a little bit of that Judas Priest spirit.

[10:13] It's also brought to you by Elf on a Shelf, the holiday decoration that brings you all the

[10:16] magical, whimsical fun of living under the watchful eye of the Gestapo.

[10:20] Maybe Santa is going to round up your kids for being naughty and send them on a train somewhere.

[10:25] Elf on a Shelf.

[10:25] Don't get one.

[10:26] It's creepy.

[10:27] Don't do it.

Stuart Wellington

[10:28] Is it because you just shouldn't, people don't like having a Legolas on their shelf?

Elliott Kalan

[10:35] They don't.

[10:35] I mean, if the elf you're getting on your shelf is Legolas, he can help you take down a rampaging

[10:39] elephant.

[10:39] That's not the worst thing to have on your shelf.

[10:42] Oliphant, yeah.

[10:42] Yeah.

[10:43] Timothy Oliphant.

[10:44] Timothy Oliphant.

[10:46] Rampaging.

[10:46] It's rampaging, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[10:47] Maybe he's one of the crazies.

[10:49] Who knows?

Elliott Kalan

[10:49] Yeah.

[10:50] And so here's how we're going to do this.

[10:52] This is not a game.

[10:53] There's no points.

[10:54] This is a debate episode.

[10:55] This is a public.

[10:56] Perfect.

[10:56] The Flophouse, like all broadcasting, has to have a certain amount of civic public affairs

[11:01] and public service information.

[11:04] And so that's what this is today.

[11:05] Or else we wouldn't get public funding, you know?

[11:07] Exactly.

[11:08] This is a civil.

[11:08] That's right.

[11:09] And I should mention the Flophouse is brought to you by listeners like you, which is actually

[11:12] true.

[11:14] We're going to have a civil debate today.

[11:16] I'm going to name some movies.

[11:17] You tell me how Christmassy you think they are on a scale of 10, meaning it's Christmas.

[11:22] Oh, no.

[11:24] Get that.

[11:24] Block up the chimney.

[11:25] Santa's breaking and entering.

[11:27] He's trying to steal our cookies on a scale from that to zero, meaning Jewish, not Christmas.

[11:32] Don't bother me about it.

[11:33] Thank you.

[11:34] And so, guys, you ready to talk about some movies that may or may not be Christmas movies?

[11:39] Let's do it.

[11:40] Why not?

[11:40] Okay.

[11:41] So the first one, I think this has the potential to be either an easy call or a controversial

[11:45] one.

[11:46] That's Gremlings.

[11:48] Gremlings from 1984, directed by Joe Dante.

[11:51] We all know Gremlins, whereas I'm calling it Gremlins.

[11:54] Because Gremlins, it's not just a thing you watch.

[11:56] It's a thing you do.

[11:57] You gremlin.

[11:57] You gremel.

[11:59] It's a lifestyle choice.

[12:00] Always go on gremel.

[12:02] It opens with a Christmas song.

[12:04] It's set on Christmas.

[12:05] It's about someone getting a Christmas present that goes horribly wrong, which is also kind

[12:09] of the plot of a Christmas story, is Gremlins.

[12:11] You consider it a Christmas movie or a not Christmas movie?

[12:14] Where is it on the scale?

Dan McCoy

[12:15] Well, this is what I wanted to say earlier that you wisely cut me off of, which was you

[12:20] told us to think about movies that were not Christmas movies, but were Christmas movies.

[12:25] And I didn't even, I was like, I'm not going to put Gremlins on my internal list because

[12:31] it is so apparently a Christmas movie.

[12:35] It is a movie about a present that is received on Christmas.

[12:39] Gizmo wears a Santa hat.

[12:41] It's like Jane's calling you a fucking idiot.

Elliott Kalan

[12:43] No, no, I know.

[12:44] But that's the thing is, I don't see this movie on lists of Christmas movies often, and I would

[12:47] agree.

[12:48] There's a shit ton of Christmas in it.

Dan McCoy

[12:49] Yeah, the Gremlins wear Santa caps.

[12:51] There's the big, of course, Phoebe Cates speech about learning that there's no Santa Claus.

Stuart Wellington

[12:57] One of the number one horror movie monologues.

[13:01] Recently trumped this year by two amazing horror movie monologues.

Elliott Kalan

[13:06] And what were those monologues that finally defeat the Phoebe Cates, my dad died on Christmas

[13:10] in a chimney speech?

Stuart Wellington

[13:11] The Rebecca Hall wild story one from Resurrection that she tells her intern.

[13:17] That's a good one.

[13:18] And then the Pearl monologue as well by Mia Goth, who is the best.

Elliott Kalan

[13:24] So that's, I think there's also like, this is the movie where I first heard the song,

[13:28] Do You Hear What I Hear?

[13:29] Which is a, you know, a Christmas, a modern Christmas carol type song.

[13:32] So I would agree with you.

[13:33] Stuart, do you agree?

[13:34] Is Gremlins just an out and out Christmas movie?

Stuart Wellington

[13:37] Uh-huh.

[13:38] Absolutely.

[13:38] Just like, uh, just, just like Gremlins 2 is a New Year's Eve movie.

Elliott Kalan

[13:44] I guess.

[13:46] I mean, Gremlins 2 is a different genre of movie, which is New York sequel movies.

[13:50] Don't worry.

[13:50] There might be one of those popping up later in the episode.

[13:53] Okay.

[13:53] So Gremlins, we set that aside.

[13:55] This one might be a little bit harder.

[13:56] This is Batman Returns from 1992.

[13:59] Also set during Christmas.

[14:01] A lot of Christmassy stuff.

[14:03] We get, Batman gets into the Christmas spirit by just shooting people from his car earlier in.

[14:08] He's just shooting clowns.

[14:10] And he doesn't know which ones are evil clowns and which ones are just regular Christmas clowns.

[14:15] Is this a Christmas movie?

[14:16] Batman Returns.

Dan McCoy

[14:18] Ooh, this one's a toughie.

[14:20] I, you know, I'm putting this on, you know, I'll put this around a six on the Christmas scale.

[14:26] There's a lot of Christmas iconography in it.

[14:29] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[14:29] So a six would be, it's Thanksgiving and they're already playing the Christmas music in between.

[14:35] Yeah.

[14:36] That's what it is.

Dan McCoy

[14:37] There's a big plot point about lighting Gotham City's Christmas tree and the Christmas tree lighting gal getting tossed off the roof.

[14:48] Horrifying.

[14:50] Yeah.

[14:50] You know, this is Christmassy enough, I would say.

[14:54] Okay.

[14:55] Christmassy enough.

[14:55] Stuart, how do you feel?

Stuart Wellington

[14:56] I'm going to say this is a seven.

[14:58] So slightly more Christmassy than Dan.

[15:00] Okay.

[15:01] Slightly more Christmassy.

[15:01] There's the, I mean, there's something about like all the scenes are, you know, all the outdoor scenes are snowy, including the flashbacks when Oswald Cobblepot gets chucked in the river.

[15:12] And there's the sequence where Catwoman is running around the department store, which is a very Christmassy thing to me.

[15:18] Yep.

[15:19] Yeah.

[15:20] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[15:20] Yeah.

[15:20] I would say, I would say slightly more Christmassy, but definitely a Christmassy movie.

Elliott Kalan

[15:24] Okay.

[15:25] Christmasy movie.

[15:25] So it's not a Christmas, this is not in the genre of Christmas movies, but in the genre of Christmassy movies.

[15:29] Yeah.

[15:30] Okay.

[15:30] Yeah.

[15:30] That makes sense.

[15:31] I can see that.

[15:32] Okay.

[15:32] This one, here's a question I have for you.

[15:34] Okay.

[15:34] This is from 1995.

[15:36] So this is a few years, three years after Batman Returns.

Stuart Wellington

[15:39] I was 15 years old, probably wearing pants way too big for me, probably wearing an Alice in Chains t-shirt.

[15:46] And Dan, what about you?

Elliott Kalan

[15:47] Where were you in 1995?

[15:49] We all remember where we were in 1995.

Dan McCoy

[15:51] Well, I would be a junior in high school, you know, I would be hanging out with people like Stuart who are wearing Alice in Chains shirts.

[16:03] Okay.

[16:04] But I would be like the nerdy friend.

Elliott Kalan

[16:06] What kind of shirt would you be wearing?

Dan McCoy

[16:08] Like, it would be like a sweatshirt of Bart Simpson, you know, given like the peace sign.

Elliott Kalan

[16:14] Now, is that a licensed shirt or is that the kind of bootleg shirt my dad would buy for me when he came to the city on work?

Dan McCoy

[16:20] No, I think that would be like sort of a first or second wave licensed piece of merchandise.

[16:25] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[16:25] So not the ones my dad would get me where the characters were all colored wrong.

[16:28] Yeah.

[16:29] And the kids at school would be like, that's not what Bart's shirt looks like.

[16:32] And I'd be like, it's on the shirt, deal with it.

Stuart Wellington

[16:34] But your dad could be, if he had held onto those, he could sell those right now.

[16:38] For so much money.

Elliott Kalan

[16:39] Man, we'd put them in a gallery.

[16:41] That's outsider art.

[16:42] Yeah, we had, my dad bought us so much knockoff t-shirts, Sins and stuff, Ninja Turtle stuff.

[16:47] And I remember the day, I call it the day the t-shirts went away when my dad came home from work and we said, did you get us any t-shirts?

[16:53] And he goes, all they have is Homie the Clown stuff.

[16:55] I'm not going to buy you that.

[16:57] And so I said, all right.

[16:58] We won't have any novelty t-shirts featuring the living color recurring character Homie the Clown.

[17:05] I guess that's the line.

[17:08] And it's, I don't wish I had that one, but I do.

[17:11] There are novelty shirts that I wish I had bought right after Obama was inaugurated.

[17:14] There were some amazing novelty shirts for sale on the streets of New York.

[17:18] One where Obama was Michael Jordan slam dunking a basketball with a Superman costume on.

[17:23] And one where it was the entire Obama family all as Jedi.

[17:26] And I so wish I had bought that shirt.

[17:28] Oh, man.

[17:28] Fuck.

[17:29] It was amazing.

[17:31] Okay, guys.

[17:31] Oh, man.

[17:31] So this movie, it's 1995.

[17:33] Let's get back to the topic at hand.

[17:34] This isn't the mini where we talk about novelty t-shirts.

[17:36] So that's a great idea for a mini.

[17:38] Oh, then we did do that mini, I guess, for regular listeners.

[17:40] Dan did subject us to descriptions of enormous Johnson.

[17:43] Yeah, but we can wind that.

[17:47] So let's go back to, this is 1995.

[17:50] The movie is While You Were Sleeping,

[17:52] which starts on Christmas Day.

[17:54] The plot is kicked off because Sandra Bullock is the only token collector

[17:58] at the Chicago L working on Christmas because she doesn't have a family.

[18:03] So is this a Christmassy movie or not?

[18:05] It's all about finding a family and love and stuff like that.

[18:08] What do you think?

Dan McCoy

[18:08] I will give this.

Elliott Kalan

[18:10] And it's also about lying to people,

[18:12] which is what Christmas is all about, lying to children.

[18:13] Yeah, it is.

Dan McCoy

[18:15] I'm going to give this a four on the Christmas scale.

[18:18] I'll tell you why.

Elliott Kalan

[18:19] So a four is, yeah, it's February.

[18:22] But I'll drink this eggnog.

Dan McCoy

[18:23] Yeah, I've definitely seen this movie within the last couple of years

[18:27] because it's one of Audrey's sentimental favorites.

[18:32] And, but even so, I didn't necessarily remember

[18:34] that took place at Christmas specifically.

[18:38] I remembered it just as a winter movie with snow around.

[18:42] And so it gets a four, but I don't, if there's no Christmas specifics in my mind,

[18:47] I don't think I can go higher than that.

Stuart Wellington

[18:49] Is Bill Pullman in this one?

[18:51] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[18:52] Bill Pullman is the romantic lead in the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[18:55] Is he playing the president who defeats the Independence Day aliens?

[18:58] No, he is.

Elliott Kalan

[18:59] Well, I don't know.

[19:00] Wait, let's hold on.

[19:02] Let's think about it.

[19:03] The wife in Independence Day is not Sarah Bullock.

[19:05] It's like a furniture store or something.

[19:06] But it could be the same character.

[19:08] I don't know.

[19:08] Yeah.

[19:09] Yeah, he's, he is a, he's, he's the brother of Peter Gallagher.

[19:12] I know that.

Dan McCoy

[19:13] Oh, wow.

[19:14] Yeah.

[19:15] For once, Peter Gallagher is the Baxter steward.

Stuart Wellington

[19:18] Oh, wow.

[19:18] Peter, wait, Peter Gallagher plays his brother.

[19:21] I guess the eyebrows are not an inherited feature.

[19:24] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[19:25] No, it's on the, that's, that's a recessive gene.

[19:28] Yeah.

[19:29] So, so Stuart, does that affect your, does that affect your rating?

Stuart Wellington

[19:33] Kind of, because honestly, I've never seen it.

[19:36] So I, I know, I know.

[19:39] I feel like romantic comedies in general are a blank spot of mine that I've been working my way.

[19:45] I've been trying to fix over the last couple of years.

Elliott Kalan

[19:48] While you were sleeping, it's one of those movies that's like, it's not a great movie,

[19:51] but it's not a bad movie.

[19:52] You know?

[19:53] Yeah, it's pretty good.

[19:54] It's an enjoyable movie.

[19:54] Yeah.

[19:55] It's, it does exactly what a romantic comedy is supposed to do without any twists or turns,

[19:59] except for the fact that she lies about being engaged to a man in a coma.

[20:03] But other than that, you know?

Dan McCoy

[20:05] The leads are likable.

[20:06] It's got a colorful supporting cast of character actors.

[20:09] You know, you've learned to love over the years, Stuart.

[20:12] Yeah, Peter Boyle.

[20:13] That's great.

[20:14] What do I have to put you in while you're sleeping tonight?

Stuart Wellington

[20:18] Oh man.

[20:20] How could you, I need you to sweeten the pot a little bit.

[20:22] I mean, if I go home with just this information, I'm going to look like an asshole.

Dan McCoy

[20:27] You know what?

[20:28] I'll give you some undercoding for that rom-com.

Elliott Kalan

[20:32] I'm going to, I'm going to take a moment.

[20:34] I had forgotten that Glynis Johns was in the supporting cast.

[20:37] And I, just to mention, still alive at the age of 99.

[20:41] She is the oldest surviving Disney legend.

[20:43] And also our last living link to classic star Hollywood.

[20:47] Now that Olivia de Havilland has gone to that great studio system that she's suing in the sky.

[20:53] So, Glynis Johns, thank you for all the years of laughter and tears, I guess, including while you were sleeping.

[20:58] I will say, sleeping, not the most accurate description of a coma.

[21:03] But, you know, that's, they can do that.

[21:05] It's whimsical.

[21:06] Okay, here's this, before we go to a break, I'm going to bring up one last movie before we, in the first half of this episode.

[21:13] Now, this is a movie, Dan, I know, knows well.

[21:15] Stuart, I don't know if you've seen it.

[21:16] This is The Silent Partner.

[21:18] A movie which gets a lot of mileage out of Christopher Plummer in a Santa Claus costume.

[21:25] So, it is taking place around Christmas.

[21:27] But it is also a heist movie with a lot of suspense in it.

[21:32] And one incredibly gruesome murder and some actually surprisingly very thrilling sex scenes.

[21:40] So, Dan, The Silent Partner, is this a Christmas movie to you?

Dan McCoy

[21:44] I'm going to also put this at a four because just, like, this is the lowest score I probably would give something that has a Santa costume in it.

[21:54] But remember, like, this is a movie that kind of gets its thrill out of how amoral it is and how even, like, our hero, you know, is amoral.

[22:06] And we only like him because he is clever.

[22:09] You know, like, he's clever.

[22:11] He saw an angle and we want to see whether he can get away with it.

[22:16] He cares about his fish.

[22:17] Yeah.

[22:17] He cares about his fish, too.

[22:18] Yeah.

[22:19] But if you're looking for, say, on Earth peace, goodwill towards men, that's not what you're going to get out of Silent Partner.

Elliott Kalan

[22:28] No, yeah.

[22:28] There's no goodwill towards anybody in it.

[22:30] Stuart, have you ever seen The Silent Partner?

[22:31] I have not.

[22:32] I'm just waiting for you to pick some normal movies.

Stuart Wellington

[22:36] Like Christmas with the Cranks.

[22:39] A movie with Christmas with the title.

Elliott Kalan

[22:42] Arthur Christmas.

[22:44] Bad or Santa.

[22:45] So, Stuart, I think you'd like this movie.

[22:51] I think you should seek it out.

[22:52] I mean, it sounds good.

[22:53] Yeah.

[22:54] So, it shows you Christopher Plummer yelling at someone through a mail slot in a door.

[23:00] It should not be as scary as it is in this movie.

[23:02] Or I guess he's just talking to them through the mail slot.

[23:04] But before we get to some more Christmas-ish movies, let's take a brief break to talk about our sponsors.

[23:12] Dan, do we have some sponsors we should talk about on today's episode of The Flophouse entitled, You'll Got Another Thing Coming?

[23:18] Brought to you really by these sponsors.

Dan McCoy

[23:19] The Flophouse is sponsored in part by Squarespace.

[23:23] You're all in one platform for building your brand and growing your business online.

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[24:08] So why not head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial.

[24:13] And when you're ready to launch, use offer code FLOP to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

S4

[24:26] Hi, everyone.

[24:27] I'm Anna McLeod.

[24:28] And I'm Alexis B. Preston.

[24:30] And we host a show called Comfort Creatures.

[24:33] The show for every animal lover, be it a creature of scales, six legs, fur, feathers, or fiction.

[24:39] Comfort Creatures is a show for people who prefer their friends to have paws instead of hands.

[24:44] Unless they are raccoon hands, that is okay.

[24:47] That is absolutely okay, yeah.

[24:48] Yes.

[24:49] Every Thursday, we will be talking to guests about their pets, learning about pets in history, art, and even fiction.

[24:54] Plus, we'll discover differences between pet ownership across the pond.

[24:58] It's going to be a hoot on Maximum Fun.

Justin McElroy

[25:03] Hi, everybody.

[25:03] My name is Justin McElroy.

[25:05] And I'm Sydney McElroy.

[25:06] Dr. Sydney McElroy.

[25:07] That is true.

[25:08] It's important in this context because we host a medical history podcast called Sawbones.

[25:13] Oh, I thought we were going to, we shouldn't have worked on that.

[25:16] Sawbones.

[25:16] Sawbones isn't afraid to ask the hard-hitting questions.

[25:20] Like, are vaccines as safe and reliable as they want us to believe?

[25:25] Yes.

[25:26] Do I have to get a flu shot?

[25:28] Yes.

[25:29] Okay.

[25:30] Is science a miracle?

[25:32] No.

[25:33] We have a lot of great history for you and a lot of laughs.

[25:37] And sometimes the history is so bad that there's no laughs.

[25:39] But.

S4

[25:40] You'll learn something.

[25:41] You'll feel something.

Justin McElroy

[25:43] And it's always Sawbones.

[25:45] Every week on MaximumFun.org.

Elliott Kalan

[25:48] And we're back to this Flophouse mini entitled Yule.

[25:51] Got another thing coming.

[25:53] For anyone who's just turning in, which I don't know how you can do with a podcast.

[25:56] Yeah, they're going to sleep.

[25:59] Just in a Flophouse for me tonight.

[26:01] For anyone who's just turning in and is tired and might have dozed off during the description earlier of what the episode is about.

[26:08] We're talking about whether movies with some Christmas elements are Christmas movies or not.

[26:13] And we're entering a mini segment in this larger segment.

[26:17] This is called Dance of the Sequel Plum Fairies.

[26:20] We're going to talk about some movie sequels that have some Christmas elements.

[26:23] Are they Christmas movies?

[26:25] Guys, we're staying in the 90s for the first part.

[26:28] This is a movie from 1992 or as many people call it, me included, one BJP, one before Jurassic Park.

[26:36] Now, guys, this might be an easy call also.

[26:39] Home Alone 2, Lost in New York.

[26:40] It takes place during Christmas.

[26:42] There's a big Christmas tree and stuff.

[26:43] The family's on a Christmas vacation or whatever.

[26:46] But is it really a Christmas movie when there's no – is there a Santa in it?

[26:50] I don't remember because I couldn't bear to watch it again as if I watched any of these movies for this episode.

Stuart Wellington

[26:57] You only just watch the Donald Trump cameo on YouTube, right?

Elliott Kalan

[27:01] Yeah, I just want to watch the footage to imagine a time when I merely disliked the man

[27:08] and didn't consider him one of the worst people in the history of the world.

Stuart Wellington

[27:14] I mean, I feel like you can't spell Christmas without Home Alone.

[27:21] But what about Home Alone 2, Lost in New York?

[27:23] That's actually a good point.

[27:25] I'm going to say 10 out of 10 Christmas movie.

[27:28] Okay.

[27:28] So this is fully Christmas.

[27:29] It takes place during Christmas.

[27:31] All of the events occur because of Christmas.

Dan McCoy

[27:35] And I think I watched Home Alone 2, Lost in New York once when it was first on HBO after its first run years ago.

Stuart Wellington

[27:46] Dan stayed up late at night.

[27:47] He saw that the movie contained, what, nudity and sexual situations.

[27:53] Adult situations.

Dan McCoy

[27:54] Yeah.

[27:54] I had misread the thing.

[27:55] I waited for the whole movie.

[27:57] Disappointed.

[27:58] He said, ooh, Home Alone.

[28:00] Well, Home Alone.

[28:03] With the cats away.

Elliott Kalan

[28:06] Lost in New York.

[28:07] That's a real pit of sin.

[28:09] I wonder what might happen.

Dan McCoy

[28:11] No, I don't actually care for original flavor of Home Alone.

[28:16] And I don't remember caring for Home Alone 2 anymore.

[28:19] And I don't remember anything about it.

[28:21] I did watch Spawn tonight.

[28:22] So if Home Alone 2 is anything like Spawn, I would say it's not a Christmas movie.

Elliott Kalan

[28:28] A movie whose main character's name you have forgotten within an hour of having watched it.

Dan McCoy

[28:32] So I'll give it a two.

Elliott Kalan

[28:34] Okay, a two.

[28:35] A two.

[28:36] Even though, wait a minute.

[28:37] We're not rating it on quality.

[28:38] We're rating it on quality.

[28:38] Below the silent partner.

[28:40] Okay.

[28:43] So I will mention, this is something I learned while looking it up on Wikipedia.

[28:47] Home Alone 2 is the last Home Alone movie to feature the cast of the first film.

[28:50] However, Devin Rattray reprised his role as Buzz McAllister in the sixth film of the franchise,

[28:57] Home Sweet Home Alone.

[28:58] I did not realize.

[29:00] Home Sweet Home Alone came out last year, 2021.

[29:03] I did not realize they were still making Home Alone movies.

Stuart Wellington

[29:06] And that actor was also in, what, Blue Ruin that year?

Elliott Kalan

[29:11] Is that the case?

Stuart Wellington

[29:12] Yeah.

[29:13] I think the actor who played Buzz was in fucking Blue Ruin, which is amazing.

Elliott Kalan

[29:17] Well, that was back in 2013.

[29:19] That was back in 2013.

[29:19] Okay.

[29:20] Still.

[29:20] Yeah.

[29:20] I mean, Blue Ruin is in some ways not that different from Home Alone.

[29:24] I could see Kevin McAllister growing up to be the guy from Blue Ruin.

Dan McCoy

[29:27] Which is why it's not a Christmas movie.

[29:29] Yeah.

[29:29] That's what they say.

Elliott Kalan

[29:30] The White Bandits killed his parents.

[29:32] Blue Ruin.

Dan McCoy

[29:33] It's not a Christmas movie.

Elliott Kalan

[29:35] So this is so, so these, so Stuart's Law of Christmas Movies, if it has Christmas or X-mas in the title, it's a Christmas movie.

[29:40] Dan's Law of Christmas Movies, if it's like Blue Ruin, it's not a Christmas movie.

[29:44] Yeah.

[29:44] Fair.

[29:44] Blue Ruin, I don't think anyone would make an argument that that's a Christmas movie.

[29:49] So, okay, that's the first sequel in this segment, Dance of the Sequel, Plum Fairies.

[29:53] The next sequel we'll be looking at, as we're going up in numbers, that was Home Alone 2.

[29:57] We're looking now at Iron Man 3.

[29:59] This is from 2013.

[30:00] Yes.

[30:01] The last of the Iron Man-specific movies.

[30:03] It's kind of a controversial one among Marvel fans in that he stops being Iron Man for much of the movie.

[30:10] And just gets into adventures.

[30:12] Yeah.

[30:13] The shenanigans.

[30:14] That it is as Shane Black as a climax can be, considering it is a white guy and a black guy with guns at shipping docks, shooting guys around piles of crates.

[30:23] And it takes place during Christmas.

[30:25] And it takes place during Christmas.

[30:26] Shane Black's favorite time of the year.

[30:29] So, guys, is this a Christmas movie or is it just a movie with Christmas in it?

Dan McCoy

[30:34] Well, Stuart sort of predicted what I was about to say, which is, you know, normally I might give this, say, a six.

[30:41] There's a lot of Christmas stuff in it.

[30:45] Mostly the form of colorful Christmas lights either strung around like, I don't know, a bar or a sad kid's house.

Elliott Kalan

[30:56] But we never see Iron Man with Christmas lights on him, right?

Dan McCoy

[30:58] No, it's true.

[30:59] We really should.

[31:00] I feel like that would have tipped it over maybe even into a seven.

[31:02] Yeah.

[31:03] Cover of a comic book or perhaps poster for Iron Man 3 just covered and smothered in Christmas lights.

[31:09] But it being a Shane Black movie.

Elliott Kalan

[31:11] And the slogan would say, this nice guy is a little naughty.

Dan McCoy

[31:14] Yep.

[31:16] It being a Shane Black movie, though, kicks it up to an eight on the Christmas scale for me because Shane Black is Mr. Christmas as far as I'm concerned.

Elliott Kalan

[31:23] Let me see the ranks.

[31:24] Oh, actually, you know what?

[31:25] On the ranking scale, eight just means Shane Black movie.

[31:28] Yeah.

[31:28] So, you got it, right?

[31:29] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[31:29] It's true.

[31:30] Last Boy Scout, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

[31:32] How many other ones of his have Christmas?

[31:33] The nice guys.

[31:33] The lethal weapon.

[31:35] The first lethal weapon.

[31:36] Yeah, lethal weapon.

[31:37] Yeah.

[31:37] So, Stuart, do you agree is Iron Man 3 purely by virtue of being a Shane Black movie a Christmas movie?

Stuart Wellington

[31:44] 100% Elliot.

[31:46] Of course I do.

Elliott Kalan

[31:48] And it is the only film so far in the MCU, the Marvel Christmas universe.

[31:52] Don't tell me about the Guardians of the Galaxy holiday special.

[31:54] That's clearly as labeled a holiday special, not a Christmas movie.

[31:58] Unless I'm wrong.

[31:59] Can you guys think of any other Christmas movies in the Marvel universe?

Dan McCoy

[32:02] Oh, Christmas.

[32:03] I mean, well, there's this Guardians special.

[32:06] You just said it.

[32:07] I spaced out.

[32:07] Yeah, yeah.

[32:08] I got to admit.

[32:09] Thank you.

[32:09] I looked off in the distance.

Elliott Kalan

[32:10] But I'm glad you're barely listening to the episode in your ears on a seven-second delay

[32:13] in case I swore.

Dan McCoy

[32:14] That's how I lived so much of my life.

[32:16] You know, I just like, oh, you know, I just now processed what you said.

[32:21] The answer instead of no is yes.

Elliott Kalan

[32:24] And of course, we all remember Black Passover,

[32:28] the Black Panther Passover movie.

[32:30] That's also not Christmas, obviously.

[32:32] It's a different holiday.

[32:32] Yeah, obviously.

[32:33] Completely different.

[32:34] Yeah.

[32:35] So, okay, that's Iron Man 3.

[32:37] Okay, guys, we're moving up one more step in sequel numbering.

[32:40] Rocky 4 from 1985.

[32:43] Oh.

[32:43] This is, of course, the greatest movie in the Rocky series because it is mostly made of montages

[32:47] and it opens with an American boxing glove and a Russian boxing glove hitting each other and exploding.

[32:54] And it is the movie that posits that only an American like Sylvester Sloan could truly capture the Russian peasant spirit in winning a battle against a Russian man.

[33:05] And?

[33:05] It has a full scene that is just a performance of the song Living in America with a giant goat head behind it for some reason.

[33:13] And?

[33:14] There's a robot in it.

[33:15] Also, there's a robot.

[33:17] I don't know if it's a kid.

[33:19] Oh, my God.

[33:20] I don't know if it would be fucking.

[33:22] This movie would last eight hours because.

[33:25] This is an amazing movie.

Dan McCoy

[33:27] It would hit on the thing that Stuart wanted to talk about.

[33:30] And.

Elliott Kalan

[33:32] Look, I think there's a lot of things I wanted to get in before I talked about the robot that I'm sure Stuart, I knew, wanted, that I could feel Stuart was getting to.

[33:40] The robot that it's almost implied that Polly has a romantic relationship with.

[33:45] Guys, is this a Christmas movie?

[33:48] There's a little.

[33:48] The climactic fight between Rocky Balboa and Ivan Drago takes place on Christmas because, you know, those dastardly commies.

[33:56] They don't even believe in God.

[33:58] They don't care about even the most wonderful time of the year.

[34:01] Do they know it's Christmas?

[34:02] Work in factories and have boxing matches.

[34:06] Which, of course, is also ridiculous since Russia is a deeply Christian country as seen by its current orthodox embrace of anti-LGBTQ politics.

[34:15] So, guys, is this a Christmas movie or not?

Dan McCoy

[34:19] I'm going to put it at a two.

[34:22] Again, I remember that there's snow in it, but I think that's because they're in Russia.

[34:29] Yeah, fair.

[34:29] So, I don't specifically think of anything Christmas.

[34:32] I remember it being hilarious, but I got to admit, it's been a long time since I've seen Rocky IV.

Elliott Kalan

[34:38] Oh, what a movie.

[34:39] Stuart, I do have to mention, I forgot about this.

[34:41] I'm just thinking about now, I think the director's cut they released last year cuts the robot out.

Stuart Wellington

[34:45] I know.

[34:48] Proving once again that directors don't always know what's best for their movies.

[34:52] Yeah.

[34:52] Yeah, true.

Elliott Kalan

[34:53] Now, before we go move on, I want to apologize to anyone, any Christians out there who are not using their religious beliefs as a subtext for discriminating against people who are not like them.

[35:02] Not all Christians are against LGBTQ people and refuse to see the humanity in their neighbors.

[35:08] Merely many of the ones that live in Russia and in this United States and Vladimir Putin in particular.

[35:13] So, anyway, Rocky IV, not a Christmas movie you're saying.

Stuart Wellington

[35:16] Thank you.

[35:16] I will agree with Dan.

[35:18] I'm going to go with like a two or three, although there's something about that robot that just makes me think of Christmas.

Elliott Kalan

[35:25] Yes, you want your parents to get you that robot for Christmas.

[35:28] Yeah, that's the thing.

[35:30] Is it the same robot that was on Saved by the Bell or am I getting two similar looking robots confused?

[35:36] Well, didn't Screech make the one from Saved by the Bell?

[35:39] Well, Screech supposedly made it.

[35:40] That robot was named Kevin, but clearly Dustin Diamond didn't really make that robot.

Stuart Wellington

[35:43] But like Screech didn't make Pauly's robot.

[35:46] That would be crazy.

[35:47] No, I mean it's the robot actor.

[35:49] It's the same prop robot.

[35:52] But Screech made that robot.

Elliott Kalan

[35:55] You make a good point.

[35:56] All right, never mind.

[35:57] I'll move on to the next segment.

[35:59] Who am I going to –

[36:00] But that's the thing.

[36:00] Does Screech know Pauly?

Stuart Wellington

[36:03] I have to assume that –

Elliott Kalan

[36:04] Wait a minute.

[36:05] So if Saved by the Bell and Rocky take place in the same universe, which I really want to believe right now, then yes, Screech knows Pauly.

[36:13] Now, Rocky lives in Philadelphia.

[36:15] Does that mean Rocky –

[36:16] Screech lives in California?

Stuart Wellington

[36:17] If Rocky and Zach Morris got in a fight, could Zach Morris stop time and win the fight?

Elliott Kalan

[36:24] I don't know if he could win the fight.

[36:25] He could stop time long enough to keep from being murdered immediately in the fight.

[36:28] But I think even stopping time would make it hard for Mark Pauly, especially as a young man.

Dan McCoy

[36:31] Can he do that regularly or does he need a recharge period?

[36:35] That's what I want to know about the stopping time.

[36:36] This is a very good question.

Stuart Wellington

[36:38] Yeah.

[36:39] You always – if he doesn't have at least like a minute or like 90-second recharge period, that power is OP.

[36:49] Yeah.

[36:49] It is unfair.

[36:51] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[36:51] Now, here's another thing.

[36:53] So we've established that Pauly and Screech know each other.

[36:55] So Rocky and Saved by the Bell in the same universe.

[36:57] I think his time-stopping power proves he is related to the little girl from Out of This World, which means that that series is also in the same universe.

[37:04] Yeah.

[37:04] And of course, that means that California Dreams is happening in the same universe as Out of This World and Rocky.

[37:10] Okay.

[37:11] The sad stuff –

[37:12] We've got it.

[37:13] The TNBCU.

[37:14] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[37:15] It's subtext.

[37:16] They never say it expressly, but you know it's true that whenever he stops time, that amount of time is taken from the end of his life.

Elliott Kalan

[37:23] Of course, yes.

[37:24] Oh, yeah.

[37:24] That makes sense.

[37:25] He's slowly aging.

[37:26] The scales must be balanced.

[37:27] Yeah.

[37:27] Yeah, exactly.

[37:28] So he'll actually – so when he and Kelly Kapowski are married and she's still – they're in their middle age, he will, of course, seem like an old man.

[37:37] And, yeah.

[37:38] I mean, actually, you know what I'm thinking.

Stuart Wellington

[37:39] But it was worth it for him to get to stop time, turn to the camera, make a quip, and then order a shitload of pizzas for Mr. Belding to pay for.

Elliott Kalan

[37:48] Yeah.

[37:48] I mean, but he can't order the pizzas when time is stopped unless –

[37:52] He fucking does it sometimes, dude.

[37:53] Pizza places in the same time bubble.

[37:56] Like he can put someone else, even who's not near, in the same chronal bubble.

[38:00] And also, does his time-stopping power affect the girl from Out of This World?

[38:03] Or is she immune to it?

[38:04] Every time he stops time, does that age her also so that he can take time away from her life?

Dan McCoy

[38:08] I thought you were asking does he stop time all across the globe, which is the real – I mean, like –

[38:13] He would have to, right?

[38:14] Because the pizza thing would make sense if he could call – like if it was just like a localized time displacement.

[38:20] Localized, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[38:21] Okay, that's fair.

[38:22] I mean, now we're getting into – it's like – was it the Snap from the Marvel movies where like people come back and they haven't aged a day and there's other people who have aged?

[38:31] Like Zach Morris is doing that.

[38:32] The people near him are staying younger than the people in the rest of the world.

[38:36] Yeah.

[38:36] Wow.

[38:36] Yeah, that's horrifying.

[38:37] This is more power than a teen boy who is objectively a total douche should have.

Stuart Wellington

[38:43] Yeah.

[38:45] Congress needs to do something.

[38:46] It's a real – it's a real – tales from the loop.

[38:47] So what do we do next?

Elliott Kalan

[38:49] So that was the end of that segment.

[38:50] We have one final segment in this episode.

[38:53] This segment is entitled – this segment is entitled Old Movies, All Ye Faithful.

[38:58] This is when we talk about movies from the 1930s and 40s.

[39:00] So hopefully you guys have seen these movies.

[39:03] I think you probably have.

[39:04] Sure.

[39:05] So this is a movie that – so a lot of the idea for this episode came because I remembered an article I once saw that listed the top 10 Christmas movies that people don't think of as Christmas movies.

[39:16] And one of them was this movie, one of my favorites, The Thin Man, a movie that does have a Christmas scene but also has a New Year's Eve scene.

[39:24] It doesn't only take place at Christmas.

[39:26] And so, guys, The Thin Man, that sparkling comedy of wit, perhaps the greatest – I'm just going to say perhaps the greatest mystery comedy film ever made with the immortal pairing of William Powell and Myrna Loy.

[39:38] Is that a Christmas movie or is it just a movie that has a scene at Christmas?

[39:42] And I'll tell you, it is a very funny scene about the presents they bought for each other.

Dan McCoy

[39:46] No, I'm going to – you know what?

[39:47] I'm going to give it – I'm going to debut the decimal place.

[39:50] I'm going to give it a 6.5.

[39:52] Wow.

[39:53] Okay.

[39:54] Because I agree.

[39:56] It really only has the one scene but that scene is one of the most memorable scenes in The Thin Man.

[40:02] It has nothing to do with the mystery plot whatsoever.

[40:06] It is just William Powell slightly hungover on Christmas morning using his new little pop gun to shoot ornaments off the tree, which, you know, to be that carefree.

[40:23] I mean, I –

[40:24] It's so charming.

Elliott Kalan

[40:24] I mean, it's when you're rich in the 30s, you can get away with whatever you want.

[40:28] Yeah.

[40:29] He also – he shoots – this is how rich you know they are is that he shoots a hole in the window because he misses and it is never mentioned again.

[40:36] They never have to deal with getting that window replaced.

[40:38] It's just taken care of.

[40:40] But it is such a funny moment when he's shooting them off and Myrna Loy is just watching him do it and he's trying to come up with ever increasingly difficult shots.

[40:46] Like he's turned around looking through a mirror, pointing it between his legs, and he misses and hits the window and then he immediately lies down and pretends to be asleep.

[40:54] Although his wife is watching him do it the entire time.

Stuart Wellington

[40:59] Stuart, what do you think of this?

[41:00] This sounds like a lot of fun.

[41:02] I've never seen The Thin Man.

Elliott Kalan

[41:04] Oh, it's such a fun movie.

[41:05] It's a super fun movie.

[41:06] You should watch it.

[41:07] It's really great.

[41:07] It's one of my favorites of all time.

[41:08] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[41:08] I mean, I've only heard good things.

[41:10] Okay.

[41:11] Now we're going to move on to another movie.

[41:12] That was a movie from the 30s.

[41:13] We're going to move on to another movie.

[41:14] This is from the 40s.

[41:15] Here's one, another personal favorite of mine.

[41:17] I am going to go on record, although maybe I'll swap it with The Thin Man.

[41:21] But this is my third favorite movie of all time, maybe my favorite comedy of all time.

[41:25] And that's The Miracle of Morgan's Creek from 1944.

[41:28] Again, a movie that ends around Christmas time.

[41:32] And spoiler alert, the ending involves the birth of a miraculous child.

[41:36] So perhaps it is a Christmas movie in that way, although most of the movie before that

[41:41] is about how Betty Hutton is pregnant and can't remember the name of the man or where he is

[41:50] now or anything like that and thinks they got married, but can't remember the name they got

[41:54] married under either because they used fake names.

[41:56] Guys, is this a Christmas movie just because it ends on Christmas and involves a miraculous

[42:00] birth?

[42:00] Put on a scale.

[42:01] First, my question, have you guys seen this movie?

Dan McCoy

[42:03] I have seen it.

[42:05] I think I saw it at one of your screenings that you used to do at 92Y Tribeca.

[42:12] And I'm going to give it a two because, again, I forgot that it was at Christmas.

Elliott Kalan

[42:17] Stuart, from my description, would you call it a Christmas movie or have you seen it?

Stuart Wellington

[42:20] I have never seen it.

[42:21] From your description, it does have Miracle in the title, which gives it at least one point.

[42:26] And then the additional information you've given me puts it up to at least a three.

[42:31] Okay, there you go.

Elliott Kalan

[42:34] Miracle in Morgan's Creek.

[42:35] It's a Preston Sturgis movie.

[42:36] I think it's so funny.

[42:38] But I don't know if I would call it a Christmas movie.

[42:40] Okay, and here's the final.

[42:41] This is the final movie of the episode because I've pushed your patience and the patience of

[42:44] the audience long enough.

[42:46] This is a movie that I see on a lot of Christmas movie lists.

[42:49] But again, there's only one sequence set during Christmas, even though it includes a famous

[42:54] Christmas song.

[42:55] That's Meet Me in St. Louis from 1944.

[42:59] Beautiful movie.

[43:00] I love it.

[43:01] It's a favorite in my household with Judy Garland and Margaret O'Brien and Mary Astor

[43:05] playing a very different character than she played in the Maltese Falcon.

[43:08] That's for sure.

[43:12] This is the movie that introduced the song Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, but

[43:15] it also introduced the song The Trolley Song, which is not a Christmas song.

Dan McCoy

[43:19] About how the trolley goes clang, clang, clang.

Elliott Kalan

[43:21] Yeah, about the sounds the trolley makes and how that relates to the human nervous romantic

[43:27] system.

Dan McCoy

[43:29] I hear you, Elliot.

[43:30] I'm going to have to put this at at least a seven, though, because that is an iconic Christmas

[43:35] song and also, as sung by Judy Garland in its original context, has the original lines

[43:45] of the until then we'll have to muddle through somehow instead of hang a shining star upon

[43:52] the highest bough, which always is deliciously bittersweet, especially knowing that this was

[43:59] a wartime movie where they're like, you know what?

[44:03] Maybe next Christmas will be better.

[44:06] And for all those sentimental reasons, I give it at least a seven.

Elliott Kalan

[44:10] Okay, and it shows you what a big Christmas footprint, what a big footprint Christmas has,

[44:16] how huge it looms in the popular imagination that this is a movie that has scenes at Halloween

[44:21] and at World's Fairs, and yet you never see it on a list of best Halloween movies or best

[44:25] World's Fair movies.

[44:27] And if there is a list of best World's Fair movies, please send it to me.

[44:30] Yeah, I would like to read it.

Stuart Wellington

[44:31] I want to see that list.

[44:33] What do you think?

[44:33] This is another movie I've never seen, but from your descriptions and the fact that there's

[44:38] an actor with the last name Garland, which is a thing that I only associate with Christmas,

[44:45] I will say this is definitely a six.

Elliott Kalan

[44:49] I think that's very fair.

[44:50] I think we've settled a lot of debates tonight, and I think we've ignited a lot of debates

[44:54] tonight.

[44:55] Flophouse listeners, feel free to write in.

[44:57] Go to our website.

[44:58] Was it Dan?

[44:59] Flophousepodcast.com?

[45:00] Or just Flophousepodcast.com?

[45:01] I think it's just Flophousepodcast.com.

[45:03] Go there and write in.

[45:04] Tell us if you agree, disagree how mad we made you, how mad I made you when I said that

[45:09] stuff about Christians being intolerant.

[45:13] Look, if it wasn't so prominent, I wouldn't say something about it.

[45:16] I'm just looking out for people who don't have power, you know?

[45:19] Anyway, and tell us what are some movies you think of as Christmas movies, even though

[45:24] they might not be thought of that way by most people, and movies you think aren't Christmas

[45:27] movies, even though they might be thought that way by a lot of other people.

Stuart Wellington

[45:30] Dan, did they have a secret one?

[45:33] You had prepared to drop on us?

Elliott Kalan

[45:35] Yeah.

[45:37] Says Stuart, having none that he had prepared.

[45:40] I have one prepared.

[45:41] Oh, okay.

[45:41] Oh, good.

[45:42] Okay, good.

[45:42] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[45:42] I just watch Funny Pages.

[45:45] I just watch Funny Pages, which it takes place right around Christmas.

[45:49] And even though I feel like all the actors are Jewish, but maybe not.

[45:55] But I don't know.

[45:57] And it definitely is a Christmassy movie in a way.

[46:01] And it's great.

Dan McCoy

[46:02] Great.

[46:02] And I will mention, first off, About a Boy, directed by a friend Chris Weitz.

[46:10] The end of it has to do with a Christmas concert.

[46:14] And Better Off Dead has a lot of Christmas content.

[46:20] I would consider Better Off Dead very much a Christmas movie.

Elliott Kalan

[46:23] Yeah.

[46:24] And I don't even think about it very much in that.

[46:26] Yeah, yeah.

[46:28] Well, we did it.

[46:29] Very good calls.

[46:30] Stuart, thanks for mentioning that.

[46:31] I did ask you guys to think of movies that would fit the category and then decided to write

[46:36] up a version of the episode that did not really involve you telling me what those movies were.

[46:41] So, Stuart, I'm glad you corrected that.

Dan McCoy

[46:43] It only confused me for a moment.

Elliott Kalan

[46:47] Look, some people wait a lifetime for a moment like that where you're confused.

[46:52] Guys, thank you so much for this journey down Christmas's past.

[46:56] For those of us who are listening, we have another Christmas episode coming up.

[47:01] And then we're not going to talk about Christmas for another year.

[47:04] And I couldn't be happier with that.

[47:06] Because we're recording this before Christmas and I'm already tired of hearing about Christmas.

[47:12] Until then, though, everybody, maybe by next Christmas, we'll – what's the line from

[47:17] Mimi St. Louis, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[47:19] Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow.

Elliott Kalan

[47:22] We'll just muddle through the other 364 days of the year until we get back to that Christmas.

[47:28] Thanks for joining us.

[47:29] We are, of course, a production of the Maximum Fun Network.

[47:32] Thank you so much for listening.

[47:33] And please check out some of the other great shows on that network.

[47:35] Maximum Fun.

[47:36] It relies on you, the listener, to support us.

[47:39] And we really appreciate it.

[47:40] I want to thank our editor and producer, Alex Smith, who will hopefully chop out maybe the part where I offend a bunch of people.

[47:46] But maybe not.

[47:47] I don't know, Alex.

[47:48] Nope.

[47:48] Do we live dangerously these days?

[47:50] I think so.

[47:51] And I want to thank most of all my co-hosts and you, the listeners again, for listening to us.

[47:59] And now, until next week, I'm going to leave you with the sounds of the season, this latest hit from Celestial by Rob Halford.

[48:09] Alex, I don't know if we have the rights to that, but maybe we could just do like a needle drop and just play a little bit of a song from Celestial, the Rob Halford album.

[48:17] I don't want to get sued or anything, but if Rob Halford sued me, I would ask him to sign the papers because I'm such a big fan of his.

[48:22] He's just the best.

Stuart Wellington

[48:23] Yeah, he's the metal god.

[48:24] I mean, yeah.

[48:24] Yeah.

[48:25] Yeah.

[48:29] MaximumFun.org.

S6

[48:33] Comedy and culture.

[48:34] Artist owned.

[48:35] Audience supported.

FH Mini 70 - Xmas Movies?

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