Ep. #389 - Poker Face

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Poker Face.

Stuart Wellington

[0:03] Russell Crowe's tribute to the late, great Lady Gaga.

[0:10] Someday that will be a joke.

[0:12] Yeah, and then it'll be sad.

[0:13] I mean, dear God, I hope I go before her.

[0:15] Yeah.

[0:30] Hey, everyone.

Dan McCoy

[0:39] Welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:40] I'm Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[0:41] Hey, everybody.

[0:42] It's me, Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:43] And I'm Elliot Kalin, and I couldn't be more excited that we're doing a live show on Sunday, April 2nd at 7.30 p.m. at the Bell House in Brooklyn talking about Battlefield Earth.

[0:51] Dan, what do we do on this podcast?

Dan McCoy

[0:53] Well, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[0:57] And for this episode, you –

[1:01] We did that.

[1:01] I remember you saying, Elliot, hey, a listener said, why don't you check out this Russell Crowe movie, Poker Face?

[1:08] And we thought, Russell Crowe, he's not done a bad movie recently.

[1:16] No, no.

[1:17] He's an excellent actor who has made some confounding choices along the way.

[1:23] Dan, are you mad that Russell Crowe's going to hear this and get mad at you?

[1:26] I don't understand.

[1:26] I mean, he might throw a phone at me.

[1:28] I don't know.

[1:29] He might throw a phone at me.

[1:29] That's fair, fair.

Stuart Wellington

[1:30] I will say, I'm kind of enjoying late career or mid-career.

[1:35] I don't know how long he's going to live.

Dan McCoy

[1:36] I don't want to –

[1:37] He was one of the best things about Thor Love and Thunder by a long shot.

[1:40] Yeah, arguably the only best thing.

[1:43] Wow.

[1:44] No, he's –

[1:45] I don't care.

[1:45] Fucking Marvel, come after me.

[1:47] Come after me, Thor.

[1:49] Fictional character.

Elliott Kalan

[1:50] Stuart, he's huge and he has a big hammer and he gets very mad.

[1:53] That's true.

[1:54] He's a Hemsworth, much like the Hemsworth that is in this movie, Poker Face.

Dan McCoy

[1:58] I like that movie more than Stuart and I still thought Russell Crowe was probably the strongest.

[2:03] Oh, he's so good.

Elliott Kalan

[2:03] But I was thinking about that this morning, about this movie that Russell Crowe, there was a point where it was like – people were like, this is a great actor.

[2:11] Like this is like Russell Crowe in The Insider, Russell Crowe in Gladiator as much as that's a movie that in retrospect is a much ado about nothing.

[2:19] Russell Crowe in The Quick and the Motherfucking Dead, dude.

[2:23] Yeah, like he's in a lot of really good stuff and yet I feel like somehow Russell Crowe has gotten to the – kind of the – where Nicolas Cage was not too long ago in the public mind without going through a period of doing insane things.

[2:37] Without doing roles that are bonkers or madness or anything like that.

Dan McCoy

[2:41] Or also his like – his burly pal, Gerard Butler, the Scottish Russell Crowe.

[2:47] Like I feel like as his career has like kind of gone – it's starting to rise back up again after taking a dip.

[2:54] And I think Crowe is like they're meeting each other maybe in the middle.

[2:58] Like I feel like there are a lot of similar projects these days.

[3:00] On the Butler-Crowe continuum.

Stuart Wellington

[3:02] Yeah, a barren crossroads.

Dan McCoy

[3:04] But this was not only starring Russell Crowe.

Stuart Wellington

[3:07] What was that fucking Russell Crowe movie where he was the angry guy driving a truck?

[3:12] What was that one?

Dan McCoy

[3:14] Unhinged.

[3:15] That one was pretty good.

Stuart Wellington

[3:16] That one was bonkers.

[3:18] It's like normally when you see Russell Crowe in a movie, you assume he's hinged.

[3:20] Yeah.

[3:20] This movie, he is absolutely not hinged.

Dan McCoy

[3:22] Yeah, the hinges were not attached properly at the factory.

[3:24] If you're looking for just like sort of a dumb and dirty thriller, that one was pretty fun.

[3:32] It's gross.

[3:33] Yeah.

[3:33] I've not seen that one.

[3:34] I've got to admit I was unaware of Unhinged.

Stuart Wellington

[3:37] Anyway.

[3:37] Well, imagine a trailer that uses like – what was it?

[3:41] Like heart-shaped box but like a slowed down version of heart-shaped box.

[3:45] I can't possibly imagine that.

[3:46] Oh, man.

[3:47] How is it possible to imagine?

Dan McCoy

[3:48] It's beyond the realms of human creativity.

[3:50] Let me cue it up real quick.

[3:52] But speaking of not hearing of things, none of us had heard of Poker Face until it was recommended to us.

Elliott Kalan

[3:58] Until a listener whose name, I apologize, I should have written down, a listener got in touch with me on Twitter and said, you should do this movie Poker Face.

[4:03] And I was like, Russell Crowe wrote it and directed it.

[4:06] And he stars in it.

[4:07] And the plot sounds like there's a lot going on in it, which was the opposite of what actually happens in the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[4:13] And most of the music is written by him as well.

Elliott Kalan

[4:15] Yeah.

[4:16] Russell Crowe is a real quadruple – he's a quintuple threat.

[4:19] He's an actor, a director, a writer, music.

[4:20] I can only assume he painted all the paintings in the fucking house.

Dan McCoy

[4:23] And the final fifth threat is that the movie is not very good.

[4:27] I'm going to push back on there not being a lot happening in the movie.

[4:30] I think that the thing is – not that there's not a lot happening in the movie.

[4:35] It's that there are a lot of things happening that don't really connect up with one another in any way.

Elliott Kalan

[4:41] And the pace of it is very lackadaisical.

[4:43] So it's like – so when I read the plot of the movie, I was like – just a brief summary of it before we choose – I was like, this movie is probably going to be pretty nutsy.

[4:52] Like there's so much stuff.

[4:53] But then watching it, it really feels like – Russell Crowe is like, now I'm going to do this.

[4:57] And now that is done.

[4:59] On to the next thing.

[5:00] And now that is done.

[5:01] And on to the next.

[5:02] And the – we'll get to this in final judgment side stuff.

[5:05] But the movie never really pushes the characters into the place of darkness that it implies they're in at the beginning.

Stuart Wellington

[5:12] There's so much stuff happening that instead of choosing a title that's been done many times before, that title being Poker Face, they should have chosen a different title that has been done before.

[5:21] They should have called this movie The Happening.

Dan McCoy

[5:24] Especially because of the theater that they all put on in the panic room, the small black box theater production.

Elliott Kalan

[5:32] Yeah.

[5:32] We should make sure the audience knows this is not about the song Poker Face actually or about the TV show, the recent TV show Poker Face.

Dan McCoy

[5:38] Yeah.

[5:39] You know, lovely film.

[5:41] Our pal John Hodgman appears on it.

[5:43] I'm told.

[5:44] I've not seen that episode yet.

[5:45] But I'm really excited to get to it.

[5:45] You've been avoiding that episode, right?

[5:47] We've just watched the first two.

[5:48] He's not in the first two.

Elliott Kalan

[5:49] Because ever since you saw the episode of Mozart in the Jungle where he appears nude, you have been loathed to turn on a John Hodgman show just in case.

[5:56] You see more Hodgman than you Hodge bargained for.

[6:00] Because I fear that nothing can top it, Elliot.

[6:02] I'll only be disappointed.

[6:04] Yeah, that's true.

[6:04] That's a good point.

[6:05] He should have quit at that moment like DiMaggio.

Dan McCoy

[6:08] No, I mean this movie – I get this weird feeling that Russell Crowe being the writer, director, star is like, no, this is really a movie.

[6:16] This is like a character study about a man dealing with – coming to terms with his own mortality.

[6:21] So I'm not going to give you the cheap genre thrills.

[6:23] I'm going to put those off as long as possible.

Elliott Kalan

[6:25] Say what you will about this movie.

[6:27] If the measure of art is whether –

[6:30] And we're about to.

[6:31] And we're going to say a lot about this movie.

[6:32] But if the measure of art is how much the artist is communicating what's on their soul at the moment, then this is a masterpiece.

[6:40] Because that's clearly – this is clearly stuff that is really weighing heavily on Russell Crowe.

[6:45] Now, the way he communicates it is done poorly and in a way that – in refusing us those genre thrills is also extremely boring.

[6:53] But you can tell that this is very important to him, that this is like – that this is something he probably had to do.

[7:00] Because otherwise, why do it?

[7:01] If you don't have to make this movie, why bother making it?

[7:04] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[7:05] Just enjoy your, you know, I assume, nice home and wine cellar.

[7:10] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[7:11] I'm assuming the tax incentives from the Australian government were pretty good.

[7:15] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[7:15] Probably pretty fantastic.

Stuart Wellington

[7:17] Because this is the most like – this is the most like Australian extravagance you're going to see on screen.

[7:25] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[7:25] They got a Hemsworth to be in it and then they made them all like old looking.

[7:30] That's one of the funniest things about it.

[7:31] They put an old Hemsworth.

Stuart Wellington

[7:32] And they put – and Chris Hemsworth's wife is in this too.

[7:35] Oh, really?

[7:36] Yeah.

[7:36] Yeah, she's the dealer.

Elliott Kalan

[7:37] Chris Hemsworth's wife is the poker dealer.

[7:38] We'll get to that.

[7:39] But the fact that they brought in Liam Hemsworth who is supposed to be an old childhood friend of Russell Crowe, but he's 25 years younger than Russell Crowe.

[7:46] So they put old makeup on him, which makes him look like an even younger man pretending to be an old man.

[7:53] Not since Prometheus have I seen such misguided old age makeup on an actor.

[7:58] On another Australian.

[7:59] On another – yeah.

[8:00] It doesn't get more Australian than Guy Pearce.

[8:02] Okay.

[8:03] So let's talk about what happens in this movie, guys.

[8:04] Okay.

[8:05] We start out.

[8:06] It's the 1970s.

[8:07] We're in Australia.

[8:08] We're introduced to a couple of teenage best friends, Jake and Drew.

[8:11] They're riding their bikes.

[8:12] They go to a lake.

[8:12] They go swimming.

[8:13] Some other friends of theirs show up.

[8:15] We'll later learn that this is Mikey, Paul, and Alex.

[8:17] They play poker together.

[8:18] They love playing poker.

[8:20] I guess the cards didn't get wet when they were swimming in the old swimming hole.

[8:23] Or maybe the friends brought the cards with them.

[8:25] Zip lock bag, dude.

Stuart Wellington

[8:25] That's the original waterproof phone case.

Dan McCoy

[8:28] I want to say, did you guys have the same problem I did with this opening, which is like – I thought – like the kids were not particularly distinct enough right away for me to be like, oh, you know, I know the difference between all of these kids.

[8:43] And I can't wait.

[8:44] And I can't wait to see them as adults.

[8:46] Yes.

[8:46] Yes, very much so.

[8:47] And I was like, I hope this is not that important because I don't know what's happening.

[8:52] And then I was like, thank God.

[8:53] It wasn't important.

[8:54] It wasn't important at all.

Stuart Wellington

[8:56] Part of the problem is that it's like, you know, ever since – what is it?

[9:01] The World's End.

[9:02] That masterfully explains characters as kids.

[9:05] And then later on, you're like, okay, this is what it's like.

[9:08] Ever since that, you have to at least get close to that level.

[9:11] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[9:12] I mean it doesn't do as good a job as it in doing the same thing.

[9:16] And so you don't know the kids' names really.

[9:18] They play poker and one of them, I guess it's Mikey.

[9:21] I'm not sure.

[9:21] I don't remember.

[9:22] He's like, oh, but I need some of that money to pay for my mom's medicine.

[9:25] And Jake goes, I'll give you $10 if you jump off this waterfall.

[9:28] And they're arguing about it.

[9:29] But before he can jump, an older kid shows up and starts bullying them.

[9:32] And only later in the movie did I piece together that must be Paul's brother, Victor, who becomes the villain of the movie.

[9:39] And he bullies them.

[9:41] And instead of just stealing their money, he plays poker with Jake and loses and gets so mad that the kids all – the younger teens run away by jumping off that waterfall.

[9:50] And Jake goes, hey, you jumped to the waterfall.

[9:52] I'll give you that $10.

[9:53] And Mikey goes, ah, I stole it anyway.

[9:55] And they laugh and go all the way home.

[9:57] Okay, now guys –

[9:58] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[9:58] They may be rogues, but they're honorable.

[10:01] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[10:01] And everything is shot in the glow of golden light.

[10:06] It is like – it is constantly 5.56 p.m. when this is going on.

[10:11] Because now, years later, Jake has grown up into Russell Crowe.

[10:15] And he is, as we'll learn, terminally ill.

[10:17] But he's also terminally sad.

[10:19] He's a billionaire who is just kind of glumly walking through an art gallery having flashes of sad memories.

[10:24] And, of course, when a middle-aged man is being sad in an art gallery, there's only one thing that's going to happen.

[10:30] A young woman is going to come up and say, can I paint your portrait and submit it for a major portrait competition?

[10:35] Yep.

Dan McCoy

[10:35] And she –

[10:36] This has come so far out of nowhere that I was convinced –

[10:39] And goes nowhere.

[10:40] I was convinced until the last scene of the movie, which, by the way, Stuart takes place after the first credit of the film.

[10:47] So, I hope that you saw it.

[10:48] Yeah.

[10:49] Fuck.

[10:49] But it does not come back into play.

[10:53] Like, I was convinced this is such a bizarre out-of-nowhere thing that I'm like, oh, this is part of whatever scam is going to be run later on.

[10:59] Oh.

[11:00] Especially the fact that she was, like, getting him on camera saying his name.

[11:05] Like, I'm like, oh, this has to play in somehow.

Elliott Kalan

[11:08] No, Dan, what you thought was a clunky way of getting him into a con was just a clunky way of releasing exposition into the wild so that he would say out loud what his name, age, and gambling profession is.

Stuart Wellington

[11:19] Stuart, yes?

[11:20] Guys, guys, I take a lot of heat on this podcast for stopping the movie early or not seeing the post-credit scenes.

[11:25] But the thing is, I think that's just my elite mindset where I realize I know who's won this movie.

[11:31] I can leave early, maybe beat traffic.

Elliott Kalan

[11:34] So, you watch movies the same way my dad would take us to baseball games?

[11:38] Yeah, yeah.

[11:39] Around the sixth or seventh inning, he'd go, well, time to go.

[11:41] We'll get home faster.

[11:42] We'll listen to the end on the radio.

Stuart Wellington

[11:43] I'm like, I can wrap this up, maybe play a little bit of Sekiro at home.

[11:47] Who won the movie?

[11:48] Russell Crowe won the movie.

Dan McCoy

[11:49] He did everything.

[11:50] Yeah, of course Russell Crowe won the movie.

[11:51] But he's dead at the end.

[11:53] Spoiler alert.

[11:53] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[11:54] Yeah, I'm so jealous.

[11:55] I mean, the ultimate win.

[11:56] They can't get at him anymore.

[11:58] Yeah, that's true.

[11:58] And he died rich, which, as you know, he took it with him.

[12:01] Yeah, he's left this veil of tears.

[12:03] Yeah, exactly.

[12:03] So, I guess he did win.

[12:05] So, the flop house is in no way implying that death means winning or that you should chase

[12:10] or even earn after death.

[12:11] Go ahead and fear the reaper.

[12:13] It's fine.

[12:13] We're just joking about it.

[12:14] Life is wonderful.

[12:15] And some would say beautiful even.

[12:17] Even Roberto Bedini would say that.

[12:19] And you should hold on tight to it as much as you can.

[12:22] And if this moment of life.

[12:23] Rage.

[12:23] Rage against the dying of the life.

[12:25] And if this moment of life doesn't have to be beautiful, just wait.

[12:27] Because there's another one coming along.

[12:29] And it's going to be much better.

[12:30] So, okay.

[12:30] Moving on.

[12:31] Jake needs to be told this.

[12:32] Because Jake is sad.

[12:33] And he drives for a long time while VOing about his life.

[12:37] And when I say he drives, I mean we see footage from outside of a car driving.

[12:41] We rarely see Russell Crowe inside of it.

[12:43] And he has a long VO about how he had these close childhood friends.

[12:46] But lately they've been pulling apart.

[12:48] Drew was his best friend.

[12:50] They played every kind of poker.

[12:52] And then for about 15 seconds he just lists kinds of poker games.

[12:56] And eventually they invented the first online poker system.

[13:00] They got very rich.

[13:01] And they somehow turned that first online poker system into a computerized surveillance system of all phones, text, and online data.

[13:07] Which is called Riffle.

[13:09] And that made them even richer.

[13:10] So they're now essentially villains at this point.

[13:12] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[13:14] That's an interesting thing about this movie as a whole.

[13:18] Once we assemble our crew, I'm like, do I like anyone?

[13:23] I mean, I don't think that I need to.

[13:25] I'm not one of those people.

[13:27] Sometimes it's very thrilling to watch a movie where I can disconnect my moral compass for a while and watch an anti-hero.

[13:36] But they're none of them.

[13:37] But they're all kind of charmless too.

[13:40] They're either sad or seedy or cruel.

Elliott Kalan

[13:47] And it's really asking a lot for us to now watch a movie about a very rich man worrying about mortality and his relationships without really wanting to admit that he has done something very bad in creating a tool that allows anyone on earth to be tracked in every way possible.

[14:07] And later on when he's like, he's like, as a prank, we decided to use Riffle to go after you.

[14:11] And he found out information we shouldn't have known.

[14:13] It's like, no, no shit, dude.

[14:15] Like, no duh.

[14:16] But anyway, Jake's philosophy of life.

[14:18] The thing is, it's all about poker.

[14:19] Like all great men, he sees life as being about risk and betting and knowing when to walk away.

[14:24] And the only way that he can interact with this beautiful creation that God has made for us is through gambling and stakes and card game metaphors.

[14:33] So Jake, he's going to a private mystical retreat like many aging billionaires.

[14:38] He has to get right with God with this aging Australian guru who I only found out later is played by Jack Thompson who was the defense attorney in Breaker Morant, one of the truly great Australian movies.

[14:49] Like just a fantastic movie.

[14:51] He is this – but since I didn't know that when I was watching it, I just thought he was a weirdly white guru.

[14:58] He is – he's like, hmm, you're dying, aren't you, Jake?

[15:02] And he's like, yeah, I am.

[15:03] And Jake – oh, you're afraid of dying.

[15:05] You're afraid of dying.

[15:05] And they do some kind of ayahuasca-ish thing, but we don't actually see Jake do anything.

[15:10] Yeah, some hallucinogenic thing.

[15:12] But all we actually do is kind of stare into the distance as everything gets trippy and echoey and there's slowed down shots of playing cards.

[15:18] And he holds a guitar.

[15:18] Yeah, he holds a guitar.

[15:20] The guru plays sad harmonica, which if that was – the minute the guru took out the harmonica, if I was Jake, I would be like, I'm out.

[15:26] I don't care how high I am or how much I'm investigating my inner soul.

[15:30] I can do the part to Piano Man.

[15:32] Hold on.

[15:34] And Jake relives memories of his first wife dying in a car crash.

[15:38] And at the end of it, the guru hands – as all licensed gurus do, he hands him a case containing a drug and he says, hey, in small doses, this creates honesty in people.

[15:47] But in lethal – in large doses, it's lethal.

[15:49] So here's some poison.

[15:50] Thanks for joining us.

Dan McCoy

[15:52] Yeah.

[15:52] This is – well, I mean, he is implied.

[15:56] It's like some people want to go out on their own terms.

[15:58] He's like saying if this is – if you don't – rather than pancreatic cancer, which is what we learned later that he has, like if this is what you want.

[16:06] But it is such a – I mean, after a few false like things that I thought were going to play into the movie and then didn't, finally like I was able to be like, well, this – the most obvious thing that's going to come up later must come up later.

[16:21] The fact that this is poisonous in large doses.

[16:24] Although, oddly, the fact that it is, I guess, a truth serum doesn't really come up.

[16:29] Like, he doses his friends and I guess the idea is supposed to be that that's going to break things down a little bit.

[16:35] But that doesn't really – that's not really what happens.

Elliott Kalan

[16:38] I mean, it is kind of in that they do come clean about things.

[16:41] But they probably would have done the same thing under the effects of alcohol and stress.

[16:44] Yeah.

[16:45] So –

[16:45] And the promise of money.

Dan McCoy

[16:47] He told them at that point, oh, I've poisoned you.

[16:50] Yeah, that's it.

Elliott Kalan

[16:51] You're saying he didn't have to actually poison them.

[16:53] He could have just gone through – he just could have just said it.

[16:55] Yeah.

[16:56] Anyway.

[16:56] I mean, this is also a section where clearly, again, this is very meaningful to Russell Crowe, but you're like, what am I watching?

[17:02] Why am I watching this guy just go through this kind of vague ceremony?

[17:06] Anyway, Jake goes back to his high-rise Sydney apartment.

[17:08] He's got a view of the opera house and everything.

[17:10] His second wife is taking boxing lessons.

Stuart Wellington

[17:11] I just like it when a movie places it for us, you know?

Elliott Kalan

[17:14] Like, it really – yes.

Stuart Wellington

[17:16] It builds a world.

Elliott Kalan

[17:17] And that world is called Australia.

[17:19] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[17:19] There's a koala bear running around in the foreground.

Elliott Kalan

[17:24] There's probably a Hemsworth in it.

[17:26] Yeah.

[17:26] You know there's a Hemsworth in the woods somewhere.

[17:29] His second wife is taking boxing lessons.

[17:30] She does not look happy with him.

[17:32] Maybe because he's been off ayahuasca-ing for days.

[17:34] And he has a teenage daughter that he's clearly close to.

[17:37] And she comes up and asks him for a lot of money to buy an expensive denim jacket.

[17:41] And then she says she misses her mom and they bond over that.

[17:44] And then we get –

Stuart Wellington

[17:44] And I got to say, like, wouldn't she already have, like, a fucking credit card or something?

[17:49] Why does she need cash cash?

[17:50] That seems wild.

[17:51] Because he's, like, he's a tech guy.

[17:54] Like –

Elliott Kalan

[17:54] My guess –

[17:54] Yeah.

[17:55] Here's my guess.

[17:55] Is he's one of those tech guys who no longer trusts technology.

[17:58] He's like, I know too much about how it's done.

[18:00] We're only using cash from now on.

[18:01] Like, my hope –

[18:02] Because he has piles of cash everywhere in his houses.

[18:04] Like, he's all about bricks of cash.

Dan McCoy

[18:06] Well, also, just because he's wealthy doesn't mean that he wants his daughter to have, like, access to essentially unlimited funds.

[18:12] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[18:13] And it's also probably a game of control and power that he wants the people in his life to have to come to him to ask for things.

[18:19] And, yeah.

[18:20] Then he gets to be the Santa Claus who hands stuff out – hands out goodies.

[18:24] And in exchange, he gets the thrill of knowing.

[18:25] And conquers the Martians.

[18:26] Wow.

[18:27] You've met my dad.

[18:31] And so then we get a flashback montage of Jake talking to his lawyer, Sam, about setting up a financial trust.

[18:36] And Sam says the word trust like a billion times.

[18:39] And it's maybe the least subtle thing in the movie, which is already not subtle.

[18:43] He's just like, a trust.

[18:44] Well, with a trust, there's also a trust.

[18:46] A trust.

Stuart Wellington

[18:47] He says it more times than Dave Mustaine does.

[18:50] And that song on cryptic writings.

[18:51] Is it called Trust?

[18:52] I believe it's called Trust, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:54] He plays – and Jake plays with the truth serum case.

[18:58] He looks up some stuff on his computer.

[18:59] And then his wife is mad at him.

[19:00] And he goes, I'm sorry for whatever, which is maybe the worst apology ever.

[19:06] He goes, I'm sorry.

[19:06] She goes, for what?

[19:07] And he goes, apply where needed.

[19:09] Jake's friends, this is where the plot kicks in.

[19:12] They've been invited to a big poker night.

[19:15] Yep, go on.

[19:16] This is where the plot lurches towards its next stage.

[19:19] Like a kind of – a massive kind of bestial behemoth, which has nothing but its raw instincts and a sort of mating sense to drive it into one place.

[19:31] As in this James Tiptree story I just finished reading the other night where these huge – these monstrous kind of crustaceans are just slamming into a beach as they are driven mad by this mating call that they need.

[19:43] And they're destroying a human colony on this alien planet because all they can see and care about is this hormonal burst that is forcing them to do this thing that will end with them dying and creating another generation.

[19:54] That's what this movie is like.

[19:55] So anyway, Jake's friends –

Dan McCoy

[19:56] Wait, what happens next in your story?

[19:58] Yeah, it's a more interesting plot.

Elliott Kalan

[20:00] Oh, it's really good.

[20:01] I mean, if it's the – to find out – don't take my word for it.

[20:05] Pick up Her Spoke Rose Up Forever by James Tiptree Jr. at your local library maybe.

[20:09] Bam, bam, bam, reading Rainbow.

[20:11] So Jake's friends have been invited to this poker night and they show up in the lobbyist building and now we see them growing up.

[20:15] There's Mikey who is Liam Hemsworth, again, 25 years younger than Russell Crowe but made up to look like an older version of himself.

[20:21] Looks like shit.

Stuart Wellington

[20:23] He's wearing like a poorly fitted like tracksuit.

[20:27] Yeah.

[20:28] He's got lines drawn on his face.

Dan McCoy

[20:30] That's the biggest sin for Stuart.

[20:32] Get your tracksuit fitted.

[20:34] Come on.

Elliott Kalan

[20:34] Well, I mean like everybody else is wearing like suits and shit.

[20:37] Yeah.

[20:38] Who's his tracksuit tailor?

[20:39] Fire that guy.

[20:40] And he's kind of like a scruffy alcoholic.

[20:42] There's Paul who's now a government minister.

[20:44] And as he walks in, there's just reporters being like, Paul, Paul, what about this report?

[20:48] And he's like, I'm there to help people.

[20:50] I'm going to help the people that need it.

[20:51] Like it's the most generic thing a politician can say.

[20:54] And there's Alex who is a writer who we see kissing Jake's wife.

[20:58] Uh-oh.

[20:59] And meanwhile –

[21:00] Like kissing for like friends?

[21:01] No, not – kissing for like more than friends.

[21:04] I think they like like each other.

[21:05] No kidding.

[21:06] Oh, wow.

[21:07] An official couple.

[21:08] Yeah.

[21:08] Well, they're not an official couple.

[21:09] So it was a kiss kiss.

[21:10] Was there a bang, bang?

[21:12] We do find out later there was at least one bang, bang because we find out later she's

[21:15] carrying his baby.

[21:16] So meanwhile, there's a mean old man who's talking angrily to someone on the phone.

Stuart Wellington

[21:20] In her belly, not like a sack or something.

[21:22] That'd be crazy, Dan.

[21:23] Yeah.

[21:25] Okay.

[21:25] When you said it, Dan started looking around the room to see what he would carry a baby

[21:28] in.

[21:29] Oh, yeah.

[21:29] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[21:30] No, I mean that seems convenient because then you get your hands free.

Elliott Kalan

[21:33] Yeah, I guess you're right.

[21:34] Yeah, it's hands-free baby-carrying technology.

[21:36] Just keep it in your belly and your uterus until it's ready to come out.

Stuart Wellington

[21:38] Yeah, you don't got to slop up a tote bag or something.

Elliott Kalan

[21:41] Ironically, you know who's got the best version of that?

[21:45] Marsupials.

[21:45] Thanks, Australia.

[21:46] Kangaroos.

[21:46] That baby comes out real little.

[21:47] That is ironic.

[21:48] Set it and forget it.

[21:49] Don't think about it.

[21:50] And it pops out when he can walk on his own.

[21:52] Marsupials, you got it.

[21:53] You got the right idea.

[21:55] So let's hear it, everybody.

[21:56] For kangaroos.

[21:57] Pass off to you.

[21:57] The people who finally figured out the perfect life hack to pregnancy.

[22:02] All right.

[22:03] Oh, this is so great.

[22:05] So Sam, the lawyer, he's – oh, and there's a mean old man who's talking angrily to someone

[22:09] on the phone at the bar.

[22:10] At a bar somewhere.

[22:11] Not Zay Bars.

[22:12] A bar.

[22:13] If he was at Zay Bars, they'd say, excuse me, sir, people are trying to buy expensive

[22:16] cheese.

[22:16] Can you please step outside?

[22:18] It's hard for people to shop for white fish while you are talking so angrily on the

[22:21] phone.

[22:22] So Sam, the lawyer, he goes, hey, Jake's friends, we're going to go to the garage.

[22:26] You're each going to take – choose a luxury car from this garage and then you're going

[22:30] to race to Jake's seaside vacation house.

[22:33] But Mikey, because you've been drinking, I'm going to drive you.

[22:36] And again, we watch these cars driving and racing around for a while.

Stuart Wellington

[22:41] It is the least exciting race I've ever seen.

[22:44] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[22:45] And the slowest 90-minute movie.

[22:48] Yeah, for a movie – it's a movie that certainly feels long.

[22:51] You're in some kind of time dilation effect zone because it feels much longer than it

[22:54] is.

[22:55] Meanwhile, Jake is flying out on a helicopter and he is on the phone with someone who will

[22:59] later learn is Drew, now played as an adult by the RZA.

[23:02] And they're talking about how he's like –

[23:05] Favorite Australian actor.

[23:08] Yep.

[23:09] Canberra's own RZA.

[23:10] And Drew was like, you sure you want to do this?

[23:13] And he's like, it's time we had an honest conversation.

[23:16] And Jake gets –

[23:17] Man, you're fucking killing that accent.

[23:19] I'm just a man of three voices.

[23:21] My own voice.

[23:22] My voice, slightly higher like this.

[23:24] And then an Australian voice.

[23:26] And I'm going to ride those to success.

[23:28] Snagglepuss.

[23:29] Snagglepuss.

[23:29] You snagglepuss?

[23:31] Exit.

[23:31] Stage left.

[23:32] You know, that's kind of snagglepussy.

[23:34] It's okay.

[23:35] It's all right.

[23:35] Yeah.

[23:35] I've been trying to do King Candy from Wreck-It Ralph a lot for my kids.

[23:40] And they are very critical about it.

[23:41] They're very mean and they're criticisms of my –

[23:44] It's basically just an Ed Wynn, right?

[23:45] Yes.

[23:46] It's Alan Tudyk doing Ed Wynn, basically.

[23:47] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[23:49] So –

[23:50] I want –

[23:51] I want –

[23:52] I can't do it.

[23:53] No, that's not terrible.

[23:54] Yeah.

[23:55] A man with a wooden leg.

[23:56] No, I can't do it.

[23:57] I've lost it.

[23:58] I barely had it in the first place.

Elliott Kalan

[24:00] And that's the joke about the name of the man's leg, right?

[24:02] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[24:03] Okay.

[24:03] Yeah.

[24:04] What's the name of his other leg?

Elliott Kalan

[24:05] Yeah.

[24:05] And it makes them laugh so much that they can float up to the ceiling and bump their heads.

[24:10] Yeah.

[24:10] We're talking about Mary –

[24:11] To get back to –

[24:11] We're talking about Mary Poppins, too.

[24:13] You probably just know the horror parody Scary Poppins where she tries to kill the kids.

[24:17] Yeah.

[24:18] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[24:19] And, of course, the John Lithgow starring Harry and the Hendersons Poppins where a Bigfoot

[24:24] becomes a nanny.

[24:25] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[24:28] That's also, weirdly enough, the porn version's name.

[24:30] Wow.

Elliott Kalan

[24:32] Harry's spelled differently.

[24:34] But anyway.

[24:34] Yes, slightly.

[24:35] So, Jake gets the house first.

[24:36] He sends the staff home except for a poker dealer named Penelope who's played by Elsa Pataki,

[24:41] Mrs. Chris Hemsworth, and also Officer Nevis or whatever from the Fast and the Furious movies.

[24:46] And she is maybe the most needless character in the whole thing.

[24:50] She just shows up to play poker and then leaves.

Dan McCoy

[24:52] It's an odd inclusion because –

[24:53] I mean, like, I was not as hung up on this as Audrey was, but I see her point.

[25:00] Like, Audrey was like, why, if you're going to do this thing where the whole point is to, like,

[25:04] reconnect with these people or whatever, like, why are you bringing in an outside sort of point of focus in having a dealer,

[25:11] especially then when the movie, like, makes nothing of this character?

Elliott Kalan

[25:14] My guess is she is there – if I'm Jake, she's there to help throw – she's wearing a low-cut dress and she's dealing – she's there to help throw my guests, my best friends, off their guard by giving them something else to distract them.

[25:28] So they don't notice that I have put a truth serum in their bloodstream.

Stuart Wellington

[25:31] Yeah, and he makes a comment that they're going to hit – they'll flirt with anything.

[25:35] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[25:35] Yeah, I don't know.

[25:36] It's still – I don't know.

[25:38] They don't flirt with her.

[25:39] Well, that's the other thing is that everyone talks about these guys as if they are – they're just the baddest of bad boys.

[25:44] They are naughty friends and they're just so – they're arap scallions and rogues and blaggards.

[25:49] And earlier, Jake's daughter is like, you know, they're my disreputable uncles.

[25:53] And when they show up, they are fine.

[25:56] Like there's nothing particularly like outrageous or entertaining or like uncouth about them, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[26:02] Like one guy has a possibly criminal sex tape out there.

[26:07] The other guy has a severe drug or alcohol problem.

[26:10] And the other guy just cheating on his friends with his friend's wife.

[26:14] Like that's –

[26:15] Much a lot of the rogues.

[26:16] Yeah, like barely –

Elliott Kalan

[26:17] Well, I mean those are all crimes against other people.

[26:21] You know, they're sins against other people.

[26:22] But at no point – they're never like, hey, hey, well this – I mean like I guess Liam Hemsworth tells a story.

[26:26] They're like a story about having like a perennial abscess and that's about as wild as their stories get.

Stuart Wellington

[26:31] As like roguish as it is, it's like the people in like the Purge universe who use that as a chance to like cheat on taxes.

Elliott Kalan

[26:39] Yeah.

[26:40] Yeah, yeah.

[26:40] Yeah, they're not really making the most of their position as the like bad boys in the movie.

[26:45] And talking about roguish, if they touch someone, they don't absorb their memories, which would have really helped Jake if he could do that.

Stuart Wellington

[26:51] And it certainly would have helped cement their status as rogues almost as much as if they went to the Savage Land and just did it with Magneto.

[26:59] That's a thing only rogues do for sure.

Elliott Kalan

[27:04] So, Paul – so, I mean, yeah.

[27:07] None of them have had any encounters with Zaladane, high priestess of the Savage Land.

[27:11] Anyway, Paul –

Stuart Wellington

[27:12] Dan, do you have any rogue content for us here?

Dan McCoy

[27:14] What do you know about rogue?

[27:16] Well, she calls people sugar a lot.

[27:19] Yeah, they don't do that.

[27:20] She's southern.

[27:21] Yeah.

[27:21] None of them are in a hands-free relationship with Gambit.

[27:24] Sort of a, you know, a Bride of Frankenstein style streak through their hair.

[27:29] Mm-hmm.

[27:29] Good.

[27:30] Very good.

Stuart Wellington

[27:31] Did she get that from Carol Danvers?

[27:33] Like holding on to Carol Danvers too long?

Elliott Kalan

[27:34] I don't think so because Carol Danvers has blonde hair, but I don't know.

[27:38] And Dan, what else?

[27:40] No, because she had it already.

[27:41] I think before she went – when the original character of Rogue was presented as a much older woman and then they kind of aged her down after Chris Claremont, I think, wanted to bring her in as a member of the X-Men, basically.

[27:52] So those first few appearances, she's drawn as an older woman.

[27:55] She already has that streak.

[27:56] So I think it was just there because she's supposed to be a woman approaching middle age.

[28:00] The same way that I noticed in the mirror the other day that the kind of spotty grayness of my hair has now – is beginning to solidify into white bands above my ears, Reed Richards style.

[28:09] Nice.

[28:09] Yay!

[28:10] And I was like, yeah, I'm turning into a real Marvel character.

[28:12] Excellent.

[28:14] So up.

[28:16] Yeah, go on.

[28:17] Or do you want to talk more about Rogue, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[28:18] I've got nothing more about Rogue.

[28:20] I mean, I just – it's interesting that you say that.

[28:22] Like, all I remember her is like she was the one that everyone who was like an X-Men fan, like who was like a horny heterosexual dude of my age.

[28:34] Like that was – they were all Rogue fans.

Stuart Wellington

[28:37] I mean it's split between Rogue, Shadowcat, and then the cool dudes who like Badass Storm.

[28:44] Oh, really?

Elliott Kalan

[28:44] Because there's also Psylocke.

[28:46] I feel like when – I feel like the people who were a little bit older than me were into Shadowcat.

[28:52] And then the people – kids my age were like, ugh, like I guess Rogue is the nice girl and Psylocke's the bad girl.

[28:59] And Storm was – I mean Storm was too much of a queen already to be seen as a romantic figure.

[29:04] Exactly.

[29:05] It was like the same way that like – there's part of me that has always seen Angela Bassett as more of an like extra human kind of like super person.

[29:14] Yeah.

[29:14] Than someone who can like walk around and talk and eat things and have – you know, be a real person.

[29:19] You know, it's like she's almost – she's too much on that godly level.

[29:22] Anyway, that's why Angela Bassett should have played Storm all those years ago.

[29:25] Anyway.

[29:25] Yeah.

[29:26] Paul on the drive over, he's talking to someone on the phone and he goes, call off the plan.

[29:29] The house isn't going to be empty.

[29:30] I was wrong.

[29:31] But whoever he's talking to says, no, it has to happen tonight.

[29:34] We go to Jake's house.

[29:35] It's a super fancy, you know, billionaire technology house.

[29:38] There's a panic room.

[29:39] There's a fingerprint wall safe, all that stuff.

[29:41] We learn that Mikey has a gun with him.

[29:43] And everyone arrives and Jake gives his –

[29:46] And Chekhov pops out of the woodwork to go, eh.

[29:49] And goes, eh, that is going to come into handy.

[29:52] I mean, that's not a Russian accent.

[29:54] But it's more fun.

[29:55] It's closer.

[29:55] I'm boycotting Russian accents right now.

[29:57] They know why.

[29:58] Oh, wow.

[29:58] So my Chekhov is going to sound like a cartoon German.

[30:02] Yeah.

[30:03] He's like, well, pay attention to that gun.

[30:05] It's going to come in handy, according to me, Anton Chekhov.

[30:08] Oh, wow.

[30:08] Yeah.

[30:09] Kind of ironic that a man who is best and most strongly about observing humans and creating believable characters is best remembered now for a structural trick.

[30:21] That's just how good he is.

[30:22] I was reading – last year I reread The Cherry Orchard.

[30:25] And I'm like, I forgot how funny this play is.

[30:28] Yeah.

[30:28] And I feel like it's such a beautiful play.

[30:30] Like a character walks in and within three lines, you know who they are.

[30:33] That guy Chekhov, he's going places.

[30:35] Keep your eye on him.

Stuart Wellington

[30:36] Is it because he shows up and just says who he is and what his motivations are?

[30:40] Yeah, exactly.

[30:40] Just like in this movie.

[30:41] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[30:42] I was like – it made me really sad because I was like, what if Anton Chekhov was writing today?

[30:47] Oh, they'd just bring him on to Marvel movies and he'd just be there to like punch up the character moments.

[30:52] So, yeah.

[30:54] No, no, no.

[30:55] Go on.

[30:56] Go on.

[30:56] What are we going to say about Anton Chekhov?

[30:57] Let's hear it.

Stuart Wellington

[30:58] Dan had some elaborate bit about Anton Chekhov rewriting quantum mania.

Elliott Kalan

[31:04] If the Pym Particles are introduced in the first act,

[31:08] they have to be used in the third act.

[31:09] And they're like,

[31:10] Anton, you should use the Pym Particles all throughout the movie.

[31:13] It's kind of his thing.

[31:14] Like, don't hold back on it.

[31:16] So I introduce that he has superpowers in Act One.

[31:19] And then in Act Three, he'll use them.

[31:21] Just have him use them throughout the movie.

Dan McCoy

[31:23] No, no, no.

[31:23] For most of the movie, he's a normal man

[31:25] who just goes to work.

[31:27] He's a normal man.

Stuart Wellington

[31:29] It does not make sense for Kang to be so super ripped.

[31:32] Why does he keep taking his shirt off?

[31:34] It's like, well, the thing is,

[31:35] Jonathan Major's got super ripped for, what, magazine dreams.

[31:39] And he looks incredible.

Elliott Kalan

[31:41] That's why he has to be shirtless throughout.

[31:45] But you'd think they would just shoot the lasers

[31:47] at his unarmored chest

[31:49] and not at the places to have his face armor on.

[31:51] Don't overthink it, check it off.

Dan McCoy

[31:53] Some things you just got a suspensative disbelief.

[31:55] We were watching TV today.

[31:56] We were watching TV today.

Elliott Kalan

[31:57] My friends called me Ant-Man,

[31:59] but it's short for Anton.

Stuart Wellington

[32:02] Anyways, see what you were saying.

[32:03] We were watching TV earlier today

[32:05] and the Creed 3 trailer popped on.

[32:07] And there's a shot of Jonathan Major's

[32:09] with his shirt off that's like angled up.

[32:11] And Charlene just goes, whoa.

Elliott Kalan

[32:15] I mean, the thing is,

[32:16] Jonathan Major's already looks like

[32:17] he's about 10 and a half feet tall.

[32:19] Like it's like the, but anyway,

[32:21] the, that's why it with, in Lovecraft Country,

[32:24] I was like, this guy's not a science fiction fan.

[32:26] There's no way he grew up reading

[32:27] all these science fiction books.

Stuart Wellington

[32:28] Is that nerd carrying books around?

[32:30] How'd he get so huge?

[32:31] I guess he's carrying the heaviest books in the world.

[32:33] That's why he's ripped.

[32:34] I guess he's not called Jonathan Miners.

Elliott Kalan

[32:39] Okay, guys.

[32:40] Yeah.

[32:41] Did you hear about Dan?

[32:42] They're doing a remake of the Major and the Minor,

[32:43] but with Jonathan Miners and Jerry Minor.

[32:45] Really?

Dan McCoy

[32:46] That seems like a problematic plot.

[32:48] They changed the plot.

[32:49] They just, it's just the title.

[32:51] And the names of the actors,

[32:53] not even the characters.

[32:54] Nope.

[32:55] Yeah.

[32:55] They're just figuring out who he's IP.

Stuart Wellington

[32:57] Yeah.

[32:57] I don't know if you,

[32:58] I don't know if you pay attention to the trades guys,

[32:59] but they're also doing a,

[33:01] a legacy sequel to Major League

[33:03] called Major's League

[33:04] where Jonathan Majors

[33:05] makes his own baseball league.

[33:09] Oh, that's amazing.

[33:11] Yeah.

[33:11] That's good.

[33:11] I can't wait to see that.

Elliott Kalan

[33:12] Yeah.

[33:12] Okay.

[33:13] So, so the friends arrive

[33:15] and Jake gives his best buddy since childhood

[33:17] a very subdued welcome

[33:18] as if they just saw each other yesterday.

[33:20] They drink wine.

[33:21] They toast to absent friends

[33:22] because Drew is not there.

[33:25] And Jake goes,

[33:25] all right, here's the first.

[33:27] Okay.

[33:27] Pop quiz hotshots.

[33:28] Here's the first game.

[33:29] You can each keep the car you drove here.

[33:31] that's a million dollar car.

[33:32] And I didn't know

[33:33] if they're talking about Australian dollars

[33:34] or American dollars.

[33:35] And it really boggled me

[33:36] through the whole movie.

[33:37] It has to be Australian dollars.

[33:38] It's got to be Australian dollars, right?

[33:39] And so he goes,

[33:39] that's a million dollar car.

[33:40] And he goes,

[33:41] you can either keep that car

[33:42] or trade it to me

[33:43] for $5 million in poker chips.

[33:46] But I wasn't sure.

[33:47] Is he saying

[33:47] they all have to choose the chips?

[33:49] I know that if they choose the chips,

[33:50] they have to play poker.

[33:51] And they all have to choose chips.

[33:52] And Alex is like,

[33:54] I feel weird about it.

[33:55] But the other guys are totally into it.

[33:56] So they all do it.

[33:57] And they have more liquor and cigars.

[33:58] And they start playing poker.

[33:59] And it's very boring.

Dan McCoy

[34:00] I want to ask you something about this.

[34:03] Now, spoiler alert,

[34:04] this gets interrupted later on.

[34:07] Well, the whole evening

[34:08] gets interrupted later on by the-

[34:09] Much like a girl,

Elliott Kalan

[34:10] it gets interrupted, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[34:11] The home invasion.

[34:12] Starring Angelina Jolie.

Elliott Kalan

[34:14] And Winona Ryder.

Dan McCoy

[34:15] Yeah.

[34:16] Even before the home invasion,

[34:19] when the character played by RZA shows up,

[34:23] he's just like,

[34:24] I guess the poker game's over.

[34:26] I guess so.

[34:27] And I'm like,

[34:28] wait, it is?

[34:29] Like, are they abandoning it?

[34:30] Like, what?

[34:31] Like, this seemed like

[34:31] a very important thing

[34:33] to Russell Crowe for some reason.

[34:35] And I never quite understood

[34:36] what the poker game

[34:38] was supposed to do in any way.

Stuart Wellington

[34:41] I mean, it was supposed to, like,

[34:43] loosen their inhibitions a little bit.

[34:44] Yes.

[34:44] Do something familiar with them.

[34:46] It would be like,

[34:47] if I was trying to reconnect

[34:48] with my childhood friends,

[34:49] we'd be like,

[34:49] let's play a fucking,

[34:50] I don't know,

[34:51] Doomtown tournament

[34:52] and play with our little cowboy cards.

[34:54] But the thing is,

[34:56] they also,

[34:57] you would think that, like,

[34:57] they make a big point

[34:58] of a couple of the characters,

[35:00] a couple of the guys are like,

[35:00] look, financially,

[35:01] I'm kind of fucked.

[35:02] So having this kind of money

[35:04] would be amazing.

[35:05] So when they, like,

[35:06] leave the table,

[35:07] I would like at least those characters

[35:09] to be, like,

[35:10] stressing about, like,

[35:11] we need to get back to the table.

[35:13] I need to make this money.

[35:14] Like, that's no,

[35:15] like, those are no joke steaks.

[35:16] Yeah.

[35:17] Especially for, like,

[35:18] Liam Hemsworth's character

[35:19] where he should,

[35:20] like, you would think

[35:20] he would be like,

[35:21] he's already got impulse control issues

[35:23] theoretically because he has addiction issues.

[35:25] You would think he would be like,

[35:27] we got to get back to the table.

[35:28] I need,

[35:28] I'm going to win.

[35:29] I'm hot.

[35:30] That's what I don't get.

[35:31] The steaks,

[35:31] like,

[35:31] I'm like,

[35:32] yeah,

[35:33] they never get to eat the steaks

[35:34] that I assume they're preparing.

Dan McCoy

[35:36] Why are there so,

[35:37] why is so much money involved?

[35:39] Like,

[35:39] I would understand it

[35:40] if the implication was,

[35:41] like,

[35:42] Russell Crowe

[35:44] as, like,

[35:45] some sort of last act

[35:46] of revenge

[35:47] against these people

[35:48] as he's dying

[35:48] is, like,

[35:49] pitting them against each other

[35:51] for this money.

[35:52] But as we see

[35:53] at the end of the film,

[35:54] like,

[35:54] he treats them all well.

[35:56] He leaves them all this money.

Elliott Kalan

[35:58] I don't get it.

[36:00] I think we're supposed to believe,

[36:02] here's the way I think

[36:02] this movie is supposed to work.

[36:04] We are supposed to believe

[36:05] that he is pitting his friends

[36:07] against each other that way

[36:08] and he's kind of toying with them

[36:09] and playing with them

[36:10] as some kind of revenge.

[36:12] And then,

[36:13] it's like,

[36:14] the movie seems to then be saying

[36:15] that he has a change of heart

[36:16] and wants to do good for them.

[36:18] But he's already set up the trust.

[36:19] Like,

[36:19] it's already,

[36:20] so,

[36:20] the change of heart,

[36:21] he's,

[36:21] basically,

[36:22] the character arc

[36:22] that you expect from the movie

[36:24] happened before the movie started.

[36:26] And so,

[36:26] the whole movie is him

[36:27] playing a weird game with them

[36:29] and you could say,

[36:31] if this was a better movie,

[36:32] it was a deeper movie,

[36:33] I would say,

[36:33] even in trying to do good

[36:35] by his friends,

[36:35] he can't help but make it

[36:36] a game of control

[36:37] and risk

[36:38] and domination.

[36:40] That he is

[36:40] rubbing their faces in

[36:42] how much he can afford

[36:43] to help them

[36:43] and how much they need that help

[36:45] and making them

[36:46] kind of go through his hoops

[36:47] in order to get that help.

[36:49] That there's still something in him

[36:50] that craves

[36:51] manipulation of other people

[36:53] that way.

[36:54] But,

[36:54] instead,

[36:55] none of that is there.

[36:56] Like,

[36:56] there's no,

[36:56] I'm reading so deeply

[36:57] into something that's not there.

[36:58] I mean,

[36:59] he's just like,

[37:00] and really what it is

[37:01] is that the movie is like,

[37:02] poker segment over,

[37:04] home invasion segment

[37:05] about to begin.

[37:06] Wait over here.

[37:07] Like,

[37:07] it's literally,

[37:08] when you're on,

[37:08] I was just on the Universal

[37:09] Studio Tour

[37:10] and they're like,

[37:11] okay,

[37:11] we're entering the King Kong ride,

[37:12] we're going to talk about

[37:13] King Kong for a little bit

[37:14] and now we play the King Kong thing

[37:16] and now we're leaving

[37:17] the King Kong thing

[37:18] and we're heading to Jaws.

[37:19] Like,

[37:19] that's what this feels like.

Stuart Wellington

[37:21] Now,

[37:21] I can't believe I'm about to say this,

[37:23] but if you want to watch a movie

[37:24] that deals with a man

[37:25] who is coping with the end of his life

[37:27] and has his own control issues

[37:28] and make people play through crazy games,

[37:30] I would highly recommend

[37:31] the Saw series over this.

Elliott Kalan

[37:33] It really does feel like

[37:34] it's one of the few times

[37:35] when you can say that Saw

[37:36] has more richly delved

[37:38] into the topic

[37:39] than this movie,

[37:41] than this character study

[37:42] of friendship,

[37:42] you know.

[37:43] So,

[37:44] they're all playing poker.

[37:45] Meanwhile,

[37:46] these three crooks

[37:47] are sitting in a car

[37:48] waiting for something

[37:48] and there's the mean old man

[37:49] we saw earlier.

[37:51] There's a refined art thief

[37:52] who's talking about how

[37:53] it's not just,

[37:54] it's about stealing the art

[37:55] and possessing it

[37:55] and there's a big bruiser

[37:56] who keeps threatening the art thief.

Stuart Wellington

[37:58] And the art guy

[37:59] was one of the dudes

[38:01] with a shotgun in his hand

[38:02] from Upgrade?

Elliott Kalan

[38:03] Yes.

[38:04] Oh.

[38:04] Yeah.

[38:05] And they're waiting

[38:06] to pull some kind of heist

[38:07] or something.

[38:07] We get more poker playing,

[38:09] Mikey and Jake somehow tie

[38:11] in a game of poker

[38:12] and have to share the pot

[38:13] between them.

[38:13] You can do that.

Dan McCoy

[38:14] If there's a split pot,

[38:15] if no one has the high hand.

[38:18] No,

[38:19] but they have the exact same hand.

Elliott Kalan

[38:21] They say it.

[38:21] They get the exact same hand of cards.

[38:23] They have the exact same hand

[38:25] in different,

[38:25] yeah.

[38:26] Yeah.

[38:26] It's just a silly thing

[38:27] to have.

[38:28] It's not odd.

[38:28] No,

[38:28] it's not impossible.

[38:29] It is silly.

[38:30] It's not impossible,

[38:30] but it is silly.

[38:31] And it shows you

[38:32] that this is a movie

[38:33] that is going to pull

[38:34] every punch,

[38:35] I think,

[38:35] because it doesn't want to hurt

[38:37] either one of these characters.

[38:38] And I feel like

[38:39] if this movie was serious

[38:40] about what it was doing,

[38:41] Mikey would lose that hand

[38:42] and realize

[38:43] the answer to all my problems

[38:45] supposedly just slipped

[38:46] through my fingers

[38:47] because my friend

[38:48] who's supposed to be helping me

[38:49] can't help but win,

[38:51] has to win against me.

[38:52] He can't lose,

[38:53] even if it means

[38:53] I get money.

[38:55] But instead,

[38:55] the movie is like,

[38:56] eh,

[38:56] Russell Crowe doesn't want

[38:58] to be a bad guy,

[38:58] I guess.

[38:59] No,

[38:59] it's true.

Dan McCoy

[38:59] Like,

[39:00] the only way this movie works

[39:01] is if it's a lot meaner.

[39:03] Yes.

[39:04] Of a movie.

[39:04] Like,

[39:04] I mean,

[39:05] you know,

[39:05] obviously,

[39:06] a figure with a lot

[39:09] of terrible things about him,

[39:11] but Roman Polanski's style,

[39:13] like,

[39:13] psychological gamesmanship

[39:14] is what's needed here,

[39:16] and that's not what this is.

Elliott Kalan

[39:18] Or if you want to talk about

[39:19] someone who's only,

[39:20] who's somewhat less problematic

[39:22] in their handling of other people,

[39:23] like,

[39:24] Ingmar Bergman does this

[39:25] very well in movies,

[39:26] where he just,

[39:26] he has characters pushing each other

[39:28] in subtle ways

[39:29] or in overt ways

[39:30] to their limits,

[39:31] you know,

[39:31] and often not,

[39:34] not even necessarily

[39:34] in that kind of overt

[39:35] kind of like manipulation game,

[39:37] but just because people,

[39:38] people push people around

[39:39] and they use people,

[39:40] you know,

[39:40] in real life.

[39:41] And so,

[39:41] but there's just,

[39:42] Russell Crowe just doesn't have the,

[39:43] he doesn't have the,

[39:44] the taste of blood

[39:45] to go after that sort of thing,

[39:47] you know.

[39:48] Meanwhile,

[39:49] at home,

[39:49] Jake's daughter finds

[39:51] blood irregularity tests

[39:53] and was I seeing correctly

[39:55] that he had tests for everybody,

[39:57] like all of his friends

[39:58] and also his family?

[39:59] And she,

[40:00] what she sees upsets her

[40:01] and she calls her stepmom

[40:02] and her stepmom is like,

[40:03] I know you're upset

[40:04] because Jake had a vasectomy

[40:05] it turns out.

Dan McCoy

[40:06] Well,

[40:07] no,

[40:07] I mean like,

[40:07] she starts talking about it like,

[40:09] I think that what happens is,

[40:11] the daughter thinks,

[40:11] Oh,

Dan McCoy

[40:11] does she think she found

[40:12] the stepmom's blood tests?

[40:14] No,

[40:14] I think that what happened

[40:15] is the daughter,

[40:16] like,

[40:16] the mother thinks

[40:17] that the daughter has found out

[40:19] that she's having an affair.

[40:20] Yes,

[40:20] yes,

[40:20] you're right,

[40:21] you're right.

[40:21] And,

[40:22] and the mother is like,

[40:23] you have to,

[40:23] you know,

[40:24] she starts telling the story,

[40:25] like,

[40:25] you have to understand,

[40:27] like,

[40:27] I wanted to have another child sometime

[40:29] and I found out that your dad,

[40:31] like,

[40:31] had this vasectomy

[40:32] without telling me,

[40:34] you know,

[40:34] and he just came home

[40:35] and he had done this thing.

[40:36] I just want to mention,

[40:36] Dan,

[40:36] this is two movie episodes in a row

Elliott Kalan

[40:38] where you're spitting rhymes.

[40:38] Your dad had this vasectomy

[40:40] without telling me.

[40:41] Dan,

[40:41] you got to release an album.

Dan McCoy

[40:43] Yeah,

[40:44] thanks.

[40:45] But,

[40:46] and then,

[40:47] like,

[40:47] the daughter cuts her off

[40:48] and is like,

[40:50] dad's dying,

[40:50] he's got pancreatic cancer,

[40:51] which is like a shock to the mom

[40:53] and she breaks down

[40:54] and she's like,

[40:54] I'm going to come to you.

[40:55] But the funny thing to me

[40:56] in that situation was

[40:57] it never gets back

[40:58] to the daughter being like,

[40:59] now,

[41:00] why were you telling me

[41:00] that vasectomy story?

Elliott Kalan

[41:04] Like,

[41:04] there's a dangling thread here

[41:05] that I'm curious about.

[41:07] But you've explained it better.

[41:08] The stepmom thinks

[41:09] that the daughter

[41:10] has found the proof

[41:12] that she's pregnant.

[41:13] Yeah.

[41:13] So,

[41:14] they decide,

[41:14] she goes,

[41:15] I'll pick you up,

[41:15] we're going to head

[41:15] to the country house.

[41:16] There's more poker,

[41:18] all the guys are looking tense

[41:19] and sweaty

[41:19] and it's edited together

[41:21] in this weird way

[41:22] where we see them looking calm

[41:23] and then it'll cut to a shot

[41:24] of them looking sweaty

[41:25] with their hair disheveled.

[41:26] And I was like,

[41:27] is that happening in their minds?

[41:29] Like,

[41:29] is he trying to illustrate

[41:30] their emotional sense?

[41:31] But no,

[41:31] it's just jumping around in time.

[41:33] And one of the staff members

[41:34] that Jake sent home,

[41:36] he's ambushed on the road

[41:37] and kidnapped by the crooks.

[41:38] And that's when Jake's

[41:39] security system goes bling

[41:40] and he sends the lawyer,

[41:41] Sam,

[41:42] to investigate.

[41:42] Uh-oh,

[41:43] we think for a moment,

[41:43] there's crooks in the house.

[41:44] It's just Drew,

[41:45] the missing friend.

[41:47] Riz is here.

[41:48] And Jake sends Penelope home

[41:49] because once Drew is here,

[41:50] the game is over.

Dan McCoy

[41:51] Yeah,

[41:52] this was odd to me,

[41:53] by the way.

[41:54] Like,

[41:54] the dealer,

[41:54] again,

[41:55] not used in the film

[41:57] for any particular purpose.

[41:59] She goes into what,

[42:01] like,

[42:01] looks like a closet

[42:02] to,

[42:03] like,

[42:03] change out of her grass.

[42:05] It's like a locker room,

[42:06] yeah.

[42:06] Yeah,

[42:06] like,

[42:06] she,

[42:07] like,

[42:08] she,

[42:09] Rich people's house

[42:10] are crazy.

[42:10] We see her,

[42:11] like,

[42:11] back and her back tattoo

[42:13] as she's,

[42:13] like,

[42:13] taking her top off

[42:14] and then she's,

[42:15] like,

[42:16] fondling some money

[42:17] on a shelf.

[42:18] She's,

[42:18] oh,

Elliott Kalan

[42:18] there's money in here.

[42:20] She finds,

[42:20] in a case,

[42:21] like,

[42:21] piles of money.

[42:23] is that her payment

[42:24] or is that money

[42:25] that's kind of come in handy?

[42:26] And I think it's just that

[42:27] Russell Crowe just has

[42:28] stacks of money

[42:29] all over his head.

Dan McCoy

[42:29] I think that that's it,

[42:30] too,

[42:30] like,

[42:31] because it doesn't seem

[42:31] like she's like,

[42:32] oh,

[42:32] I'm taking this money.

[42:33] She's like,

[42:33] oh,

[42:34] look,

[42:34] there's this money.

[42:34] And again,

[42:36] makes me think,

[42:37] like,

[42:38] is this setting it up

[42:38] that she's going to take

[42:39] this money

[42:40] that is needed

[42:41] later on?

[42:42] No,

[42:42] this is just nothing.

[42:43] Like,

[42:44] she disappears from the film

[42:45] having done nothing

[42:47] or said anything

[42:49] of import.

[42:50] Here's exactly

Elliott Kalan

[42:51] what I think happened.

[42:51] I think this is why

[42:52] she's in the movie,

[42:53] that Russell Crowe

[42:55] said to Liam Hemsworth,

[42:57] he goes,

[42:57] hey,

[42:58] I've got a surprise for you.

[43:00] what?

[43:00] I'll show you on the first day

[43:01] of shooting.

[43:01] And they show up

[43:02] and then he brings her out

[43:03] and he goes,

[43:04] I cast your wife

[43:05] in the movie,

[43:05] too.

[43:06] And Liam Hemsworth

[43:06] is like,

[43:07] that's my brother's wife.

[43:08] Did you get me mixed up

[43:09] with my brother,

[43:09] Chris?

[43:10] And Russell Crowe goes,

[43:11] it's a joke.

[43:11] It's a joke.

[43:12] Oh,

[43:12] hold on a second.

[43:14] This was a mistake.

[43:15] Oh,

[43:15] no.

[43:16] Oh,

[43:16] no.

[43:17] You know,

[43:17] Thor was showing up

[43:18] at the movie.

[43:18] I can't tell the Hemsworths

[43:19] apart.

[43:20] And Russell Crowe's

[43:21] casting director is like,

[43:22] I told you there was

[43:23] more than one Hemsworth.

[43:24] But anyway,

[43:25] so,

[43:26] but she leaves.

[43:27] It's,

[43:27] it's,

[43:28] it's a pointless moment.

[43:29] More than one

[43:30] of that perfect man?

[43:34] Impossible.

[43:34] This is how we all felt

[43:35] watching the social network

[43:36] until we learned the truth

[43:37] about Armie Hammer.

[43:39] But,

Elliott Kalan

[43:39] so the,

[43:40] here's,

[43:40] I will say,

[43:41] for a moment

[43:42] that is totally unnecessary,

[43:44] seeing her in that room,

[43:47] you don't see any,

[43:48] there's no nudity in it,

[43:49] but seeing her,

[43:49] unzipping her dress

[43:50] and then seeing that money

[43:51] in the case

[43:51] is a moment of,

[43:53] like,

[43:54] real,

[43:56] kind of seaminess

[43:57] and sleaziness

[43:58] that hints at a more interesting

[44:00] and kind of like,

[44:01] more thrilling movie.

[44:03] And a movie that,

[44:03] that has more going on in it.

[44:05] A darker movie.

[44:06] So it's,

[44:06] it's both a completely

[44:07] unnecessary moment

[44:08] and possibly the,

[44:09] the most evocative moment

[44:10] in the entire movie.

[44:11] Yeah.

[44:12] So,

[44:12] Drew's there

[44:13] and they go,

[44:14] okay,

[44:14] game's over.

[44:14] Drew goes,

[44:15] hey,

[44:16] everybody,

[44:16] we used our secrets,

[44:18] our super secret spy software

[44:19] that we sell to governments

[44:20] as a prank.

[44:21] We used it to spy on all of you

[44:23] and we discovered

[44:24] your real problems.

[44:25] And Jake reveals,

[44:26] he goes,

[44:26] I've poisoned everyone's drinks tonight

[44:27] because I'm dying of cancer.

[44:29] Now we're on the same level.

[44:30] And Mikey goes,

[44:31] well,

[44:31] I'm at the end of my rope.

[44:32] I'm an alcoholic.

[44:33] I was going to shoot myself tonight.

[44:34] And Alex goes,

[44:35] I've been having an affair

[44:35] with your wife

[44:36] and she's pregnant with my baby.

[44:37] And Paul goes,

[44:38] I'm being blackmailed.

[44:39] There's a sex tape of me out

[44:40] and I ran out of money.

[44:42] So the crooks demanded

[44:42] I give you the,

[44:43] give them the information

[44:44] about your house

[44:44] and so they could rob it.

[44:46] And here's what I think is funny.

[44:47] He doesn't know the code to the house

[44:49] because the crooks have to get the code

[44:50] in the movie.

[44:51] So what did he tell them?

[44:52] That Jake has a house

[44:53] and gave them the address?

Dan McCoy

[44:55] Like what information did he give them?

[44:57] Well,

[44:58] also I just find

[44:59] everyone's reactions

[45:01] utterly bizarre

[45:02] because no,

[45:03] like they really take the fact

[45:05] that they've been poisoned pretty well.

[45:07] They seem like

[45:08] a little like shocked and saddened.

[45:12] I mean,

[45:12] I will say,

[45:12] I will say.

[45:13] Threatening him,

[45:14] like crying,

[45:15] like asking for an anecdote,

[45:19] not anecdote.

[45:20] Give me an anecdote too.

[45:21] An anecdote to explain why it happened.

[45:22] While I'm dying,

[45:24] you know,

[45:24] ease me into the other life

[45:26] with something humorous.

[45:27] Hey,

[45:27] well,

[45:28] while I'm dying,

Elliott Kalan

[45:29] can you tell me about the time

[45:30] that you had lunch

[45:31] at a table next to John Lewis?

[45:32] I've just always loved that story.

[45:35] Now,

[45:36] here's the thing.

[45:37] For another perspective on this,

[45:38] Dan,

[45:38] when I was,

[45:39] I know you watched the movies with Audrey.

[45:40] I was watching this

[45:41] with the famous stoic philosopher Epictetus

[45:43] and he was like,

[45:44] they're doing it right.

[45:45] They're doing it exactly right.

[45:46] You learn that you've been poisoned

[45:47] and you just take that information

[45:49] and you just accept it

[45:50] and you move on with your life.

[45:52] really Epictetus?

[45:53] I would think that even if you were poisoned,

[45:54] you'd have a bigger reaction.

[45:56] if I did,

[45:57] then you should just take all my books

[45:59] and throw them in the garbage

[46:00] because I'm a hypocrite.

[46:01] Yeah.

[46:01] He said,

Dan McCoy

[46:02] try me,

[46:02] bro.

[46:04] Yeah.

[46:04] Then Hippocrates came out

[46:06] and it was,

[46:07] he's like,

[46:08] did you ask for me?

[46:09] And he said,

[46:09] no,

[46:09] I said hypocrite.

[46:11] Yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[46:11] that's exactly.

[46:12] Yeah.

[46:12] And so,

[46:13] I hang out with a lot of ancient Greeks.

[46:14] Anyway,

[46:15] so,

[46:16] ancient Romans.

[46:16] So,

[46:17] the crooks,

[46:19] meanwhile,

[46:20] so they take that information pretty well

[46:22] and they give up their secret information

[46:23] and Jake takes that secret information pretty well

[46:25] and why wouldn't he?

[46:25] He knows it already.

[46:26] Yeah,

[46:26] he knows it all,

[46:27] yeah.

[46:27] And meanwhile,

[46:28] outside the crooks are threatening the staff member.

[46:30] It's a very dumbly complicated scene

[46:32] where Penelope drives out

[46:34] and the gate is open for a little bit

[46:36] and it's starting to close

[46:39] give us the code to the gate.

[46:40] And the staff member's like,

[46:41] no,

[46:42] no.

[46:42] They're asking for the code to the gate

[46:43] and he says,

[46:44] no,

[46:44] he won't give him the code to the gate.

[46:46] And then Penelope drives out,

[46:47] which leaves the gate open

[46:48] and then closing.

[46:49] And they shove him in between

[46:50] the gate and the post

[46:52] and they say,

[46:53] tell us the code

[46:53] or else the gate will kill you.

[46:55] And he tells them the code

[46:55] just a little too late

[46:57] and gets impaled.

Dan McCoy

[46:58] Yeah.

[46:58] They're like,

[46:59] stop the gate by standing there.

[47:01] And he's like,

[47:02] it'll crush me.

[47:03] It would crush your car.

[47:04] And so then they threaten him

[47:06] with the crushing.

[47:07] And I did think it was kind of funny

[47:08] that he gives them the number

[47:10] just a little too late

[47:11] and gets crushed anyway.

[47:13] Because,

[47:13] you know,

[47:13] if I'm in that situation,

[47:15] that would happen to me.

[47:15] I'm just going to give him the fucking code.

[47:17] Give him the code right away.

[47:18] Yeah.

[47:18] Who the fuck cares?

[47:19] Yeah, it's not worth it.

[47:20] But also,

[47:21] like,

[47:21] why don't they just run in

[47:23] while the gate's open?

[47:24] Yes,

[47:24] that's what I was wondering.

[47:25] What the fuck is this?

Elliott Kalan

[47:26] Why do they have to bring their car in?

[47:28] Why couldn't they,

[47:28] since they're just steel art,

[47:29] why couldn't they carry the art?

[47:29] The guns are portable.

Dan McCoy

[47:33] There's no,

[47:34] I mean,

[47:34] they're not connected to the car.

Elliott Kalan

[47:36] Well,

[47:36] that's the thing.

[47:36] They are connected to the car

[47:38] by long strings.

[47:40] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[47:41] I thought they were

[47:42] electric powered guns

[47:44] and they happen to be powered

[47:45] by the car's battery.

Elliott Kalan

[47:47] Earlier in the,

[47:48] earlier,

[47:48] this is a deleted scene.

[47:49] Earlier,

[47:50] the kind of big,

[47:51] muscly guy is like,

[47:52] don't worry,

[47:52] I want to make sure

[47:53] we don't lose our guns,

[47:53] so I tied them to the car.

Dan McCoy

[47:56] Good thinking.

[47:56] Good thinking,

Elliott Kalan

[47:57] Luke.

[47:58] Good thinking,

[47:58] Rocky.

[47:59] So,

[47:59] so the,

[48:00] and we learn that the crook

[48:02] who is also blackmailing Paul

[48:04] is his older brother,

[48:06] Victor.

[48:07] And then Jake reveals,

[48:08] I didn't give you enough poison

[48:09] to kill you,

[48:10] just to loosen you up.

[48:11] Anyway,

[48:12] and anyway,

[48:13] we know you're all screw ups

[48:15] and that's why

[48:16] when we gave you shares

[48:17] in Riffle a long time ago

[48:18] and you sold them instantly,

[48:20] that's why it was Drew's idea

[48:21] to secretly hold back

[48:23] some shares

[48:23] that are still in your name.

[48:25] 25 million dollars

[48:26] in poker chips.

[48:27] There's actually the shares

[48:27] you own in Riffle,

[48:28] this evil covert software

[48:31] that we're talking about

[48:32] as if it was just

[48:32] any other type of product

[48:33] and not a hugely problematic thing

[48:35] for the main character

[48:36] to have invented.

Stuart Wellington

[48:38] Yeah.

[48:38] Something that dilutes

[48:39] any possible sympathy

[48:41] you have for this dying man.

[48:42] Yes.

[48:43] I mean,

[48:43] he already,

[48:43] he's a billionaire

[48:44] so already you're like,

[48:45] okay,

[48:46] time for the guillotine, bud.

[48:47] But when you find out

[48:48] that he's also actively

[48:49] hurting the world even more,

[48:50] you're like,

[48:51] man,

Elliott Kalan

[48:52] get him out of here.

[48:53] You're like,

[48:53] oh,

[48:53] I'm glad that the hero

[48:54] is helping the Spanish government

[48:55] to arrest Catalan protesters

[48:57] by spying on their phones

[48:59] and things like that.

[49:00] Yeah.

[49:00] Oh man,

[49:01] I hope this guy

[49:02] shits himself to death.

[49:04] So Dan,

[49:05] you look like you're about

[49:05] to defend Russell Crowe.

[49:06] What were you going to say?

[49:08] Or Jake,

[49:08] his character.

[49:09] Or billionaires.

[49:10] Or billionaires in general.

Dan McCoy

[49:12] I know,

[49:12] I mean,

[49:12] like obviously

[49:13] if you have more money

[49:15] than you can use,

[49:17] to that degree

[49:18] you should do something

[49:19] with it.

[49:19] I don't inherently like.

[49:21] I mean,

[49:21] I'd go as far as to say

[49:22] if you've made a billion dollars

[49:23] you've done something

[49:24] bad to somebody.

[49:25] No,

[49:26] that's probably true.

[49:27] But no,

[49:27] I'm more

[49:28] just baffled by,

[49:31] like I guess

[49:31] this was

[49:32] all a way

[49:33] to tell them

[49:34] about these shares.

[49:35] Like the poker game

[49:36] was just like,

[49:37] surprise,

[49:37] the stuff

[49:38] that you thought

[49:38] you were,

[49:39] you know,

[49:40] winner take all.

[49:40] It's just,

[49:41] these shares,

[49:42] It is not clear still to me

[49:44] what the whole point

[49:44] of any of it was.

Elliott Kalan

[49:46] I think the movie was,

[49:47] this is a movie

[49:47] that was adapted

[49:48] from the scene

[49:49] in the Treehouse of Horror

[49:50] with the evil

[49:51] Krusty doll.

[49:52] When the,

[49:52] when the,

[49:53] the man

[49:54] who owns

[49:55] the magic shop

[49:56] is like,

[49:57] you can buy this doll.

[49:58] He goes,

[49:59] the doll is cursed.

[50:00] That's bad news.

[50:01] But it comes

[50:02] with free Frogerd.

[50:03] That's good news.

[50:04] The Frogerd

[50:05] is also cursed.

[50:08] That's bad news.

[50:08] But it comes

[50:09] with your choice

[50:09] of toppings.

[50:10] That's good news.

[50:11] The toppings

[50:12] contain sodium benzoate.

[50:14] I just want to go now.

[50:15] Just like throughout

[50:15] the movie,

[50:16] Russell Jack,

[50:16] Jake is being like,

[50:17] hey,

[50:18] good news.

[50:18] You get this car.

[50:19] Bad news.

[50:20] You got to play poker

[50:21] with me.

[50:21] Good news.

[50:22] It's a lot of money.

[50:23] Bad news.

[50:24] I poisoned you

[50:24] and I'm dying.

[50:25] Good news.

[50:25] I left you a lot of money.

[50:26] Bad news.

[50:27] There's crooks here.

[50:28] It's not heads up.

[50:36] No,

[50:37] it's not heads up.

[50:38] The game everybody loves.

[50:40] Yes.

[50:41] Yes.

[50:41] Thank you,

Stuart Wellington

[50:42] substitute.

Elliott Kalan

[50:43] I will play.

[50:45] His friends are like,

[50:46] why couldn't we have

[50:47] just played apples to apples?

[50:49] Everybody wins.

[50:50] Let's just get some.

[50:50] Let's do some Jackbox stuff.

[50:52] Come on.

[50:52] Yeah,

[50:52] just throw a fucking

[50:53] Jackbox game on.

[50:55] Break open the Jackbox.

[50:56] Yeah,

[50:56] come on.

[50:57] So anyway,

[50:58] it goes,

[50:59] Jake,

[50:59] I thought we were going

[50:59] to play Cranium tonight.

[51:03] Again,

Stuart Wellington

[51:04] like,

[51:05] I always think it's funny

[51:06] when like one friend

[51:08] in this story,

[51:08] like a bunch of childhood friends,

[51:10] one guy's a zillionaire

[51:11] and all his friends

[51:12] are all like,

[51:12] you know,

[51:13] various levels of success.

[51:14] And like,

[51:15] I always think back,

[51:16] I'm like,

[51:16] if my childhood friends

[51:17] and I all met up,

[51:19] they're not my friends anymore.

[51:20] But if they were like,

[51:21] we would just play like

[51:22] Warhammer or some shit

[51:23] and I don't know,

[51:25] they would probably drug me.

[51:27] I wouldn't die

[51:28] because I'm built different.

[51:29] I think we all know that.

Elliott Kalan

[51:31] Yeah,

[51:31] of course.

[51:32] You're a robot.

[51:33] You're one of God's chosen

[51:34] and he wouldn't let that happen.

[51:35] So he'd send an angel

[51:37] in the form of a magic fairy

[51:38] to magic the poison

[51:39] out of your system.

[51:40] Yeah.

[51:40] Thank you.

[51:41] The crooks and the fairy

[51:43] would, of course,

[51:43] die with the effort

[51:44] but would know that

[51:45] she had sacrificed her life

[51:46] to save again God's chosen.

[51:47] So it'd be fine.

[51:47] True hero, yeah.

[51:48] Yeah.

[51:49] So the crooks show up

[51:50] and the art thief

[51:52] is initially disappointed

[51:53] in Jake's art collection

[51:54] and he says this thing is-

Stuart Wellington

[51:55] Australian art.

[51:56] They make a point

[51:57] of saying Australian.

Elliott Kalan

[51:58] Australian,

[51:58] that's true.

[51:59] Except for the one big painting

[52:00] we'll find later,

[52:01] all of his art is Australian.

[52:03] he goes,

[52:03] I didn't know it was

[52:04] aboriginal art.

[52:05] This is very hard to sell.

[52:06] The buyer has to connect

[52:08] spiritually with the piece,

[52:09] which is such a funny way

[52:10] for the art thief

[52:11] to be set up complimenting

[52:12] Jake as a character

[52:13] that like,

[52:14] oh yeah,

[52:15] he has a deep soul.

[52:16] He's spiritually connected

[52:17] to this art.

Dan McCoy

[52:18] Yeah,

[52:18] but then there's like

[52:19] an old scene of like

[52:21] he goes through

[52:22] a bunch of stuff.

[52:23] He's like,

[52:23] oh,

[52:23] this is a million dollars.

[52:24] He goes through

[52:25] a bunch of it

[52:25] and the thing turns

[52:28] into this weird

[52:29] antiques roadshow

[52:30] for like a moment.

Elliott Kalan

[52:31] for a while.

[52:32] It's them pricing art

[52:33] and him just explaining

[52:34] that,

[52:34] I mean,

[52:35] this is the one

[52:36] saving grace of the movie

[52:37] is that it introduced me

[52:38] to a number of

[52:39] Australian painters

[52:40] I'd never heard of before

[52:41] and kind of basically

[52:42] what they do

[52:43] and I was like,

[52:43] maybe I'll look up

[52:44] some of these

[52:44] that like,

[52:45] that this is,

[52:46] it almost feels like

[52:47] the Australian government

[52:49] board was like,

[52:49] we need someone

[52:50] to make a film

[52:51] telling people

[52:52] about the wonders

[52:53] Australian painting

[52:54] and Russell Crowe's like,

[52:55] I'll do it

[52:55] and then turn it

[52:56] into this movie.

[52:57] It needs at least

[52:58] 10% art content.

[53:00] It needs at least

[53:01] seven minutes

[53:02] of people naming

[53:02] Australian painters.

[53:04] Yeah,

[53:04] I mean,

Stuart Wellington

[53:04] if I'm going to watch

[53:05] something from

[53:06] tourism board,

[53:07] I guess I'd rather

[53:08] watch this than

[53:09] those fucking

[53:09] Qatar ads

[53:10] that keep showing up

[53:11] where I'm like,

[53:12] oh,

[53:12] I don't think

[53:13] this is accurately

[53:13] representing the

[53:14] situation there.

Elliott Kalan

[53:15] Yeah,

[53:16] I don't know the ones

[53:17] you mean,

[53:17] but I can probably

[53:18] imagine them.

[53:19] They're the ones

[53:19] that talk about

[53:20] all the migrant laborers

[53:21] that die in the

[53:21] construction of the

[53:22] buildings,

[53:22] right?

[53:22] It's weird that they

Stuart Wellington

[53:23] talk about that

[53:24] in the ads.

[53:25] Or that tourism ad

Elliott Kalan

[53:25] we watched,

[53:26] Infinity Pool.

[53:27] That was pretty good.

[53:27] Yeah,

[53:27] my favorite,

Stuart Wellington

[53:28] Tourism Ad,

[53:29] Infinity Pool.

Elliott Kalan

[53:32] That's the thing

[53:34] I always imagine

[53:35] with David Cronenberg

[53:36] is that every time

[53:36] the Canadian film

[53:37] board watches

[53:38] one of his movies

[53:39] or one of his,

[53:40] the other Cronenberg's

[53:41] movies that they're

[53:41] like,

[53:42] you did it to us

[53:43] again.

[53:43] Once again,

[53:44] you promised it

[53:45] would be a Canadian

[53:45] tourism movie

[53:46] and you gave us

[53:47] this thing about

[53:47] people making

[53:50] their bodies

[53:50] all weird.

[53:53] They're like,

[53:54] all right.

Dan McCoy

[53:55] And then Cronenberg

[53:55] cackles like an elf

[53:57] and he disappears.

Elliott Kalan

[53:59] Okay,

[54:00] guys.

[54:00] He goes,

[54:01] okay,

[54:02] we're here together

[54:02] to watch the new

[54:03] David Cronenberg movie.

[54:04] I know we've been

[54:04] bit before,

[54:05] but he promised us

[54:06] that this one,

[54:07] Land of Timber,

[54:08] will really talk

[54:09] about our natural

[54:09] resources.

[54:10] Of course,

[54:10] he had to change

[54:11] the title to

[54:11] Crimes of the Future,

[54:12] he says,

[54:13] but okay,

[54:13] let's watch it.

[54:15] And then when it's

[54:16] over,

[54:16] they're just like,

[54:16] god damn it.

[54:17] Cronenberg,

[54:18] we got Cronenberg again.

[54:21] He goes,

[54:22] there's a

[54:23] only one solution.

[54:23] We got to make it

[54:24] so that Canada's

[54:25] big new industry

[54:26] is surgery performance art.

[54:28] That's the only way

[54:29] we're going to be able

[54:29] to justify this.

[54:31] I guess surgery

[54:32] is the new sex.

[54:34] Surgery,

[54:34] I guess that's our

[54:35] new Canadian tourism

[54:36] board slogan,

[54:37] surgery is the new sex.

[54:40] I like how you

[54:41] slip into Irish.

[54:43] So maybe Celine,

Stuart Wellington

[54:45] why don't you drop

[54:45] some bars on this one?

Elliott Kalan

[54:48] There's a lot of people

[54:49] of Irish descent in Canada.

[54:50] I'll play it off that way.

[54:51] So they walk around

[54:53] pricing art for a long time.

[54:54] Jake and the others

[54:55] see them on the security

[54:56] cameras and run to

[54:57] Jake's panic room

[54:58] where they all

[54:59] criticize Jake.

[54:59] Where they don't have

[55:00] a phone.

[55:01] They don't have a phone

[55:02] and they criticize Jake

[55:02] for not having any guns

[55:04] how do you not have

[55:04] any guns?

[55:05] It's a panic room.

[55:06] Why don't you have guns?

[55:07] And they just,

[55:07] that's all they care about

Dan McCoy

[55:08] and I'm like,

[55:08] what is this,

[55:09] an American movie?

[55:10] They're so obsessed

[55:10] with guns.

[55:11] Again,

[55:11] Russell Crowe makes

[55:12] a good point.

[55:13] He's like,

[55:13] I have the panic room

[55:14] so I don't need guns.

[55:15] But you do need

[55:16] a goddamn phone in there,

[55:17] Russell,

[55:17] to call the cops.

[55:18] That's the number one.

[55:19] Yeah,

[55:19] so you can call

[55:20] fucking Loveline.

[55:20] You're going to be

[55:21] bored in there.

Elliott Kalan

[55:22] So you can call

[55:22] Loveline and ask

[55:23] Dr. Drew

[55:24] what about your problem?

[55:25] And he's going to

[55:26] say some bullshit

[55:26] because he's a fucking hack.

Stuart Wellington

[55:28] Yeah,

[55:28] you can call

Dan McCoy

[55:30] into the request line.

[55:32] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[55:34] It's like,

[55:34] I guess I want,

[55:35] I want to hear

[55:35] what a minute works on.

[55:37] What do they listen?

[55:37] Midnight Oil?

[55:38] What do they listen down there?

Dan McCoy

[55:39] We're going to solve

[55:40] the short circuit two style.

[55:41] I'm going to call

[55:42] a request for

[55:42] help me Rhonda

[55:43] and then maybe

[55:44] hope someone gets

[55:45] the message.

Elliott Kalan

[55:46] Although I do love

[55:47] the idea of him

[55:47] using a phone.

[55:48] He goes,

[55:48] now this is a one use phone.

[55:49] It's a burner.

[55:50] We got to use it.

[55:50] He calls up a radio station

[55:51] and is like,

[55:52] yeah,

[55:52] I want to hear

[55:52] safety dance.

[55:53] And then hangs up.

[55:56] So the crooks realize

[55:58] that the house isn't empty

[55:59] because there's all this

[55:59] half drunk wine

[56:00] sitting around

[56:01] and cigars.

[56:02] Victor,

[56:03] the lead crook,

[56:04] he does what

[56:04] everyone would do,

[56:05] picks up someone else's cigar

[56:06] that their gross mouth

[56:08] has been on

[56:08] and starts smoking it

[56:09] and a glass of wine

[56:11] and starts drinking that too

[56:12] because he's apparently

[56:13] a toddler

[56:14] who just picks stuff up

[56:15] and puts it in his mouth.

[56:16] Dan,

[56:16] what were you going to say?

Dan McCoy

[56:17] Well,

[56:17] I also want to say

[56:18] this is a part that baffled me

[56:19] because when they first

[56:21] come into the house,

[56:23] they keep being like,

[56:25] oh,

[56:25] it seems like

[56:26] someone's here

[56:27] or like someone's here.

[56:29] Like when they like first,

[56:30] I mean,

[56:31] I guess by this point,

[56:32] I don't know,

[56:33] is the wife there yet?

[56:34] I don't even remember.

[56:34] No,

[56:34] she hasn't shown up yet.

[56:35] Okay.

[56:36] But like,

[56:37] yeah,

[56:37] they're like,

[56:39] it seems like someone's here

[56:40] and they've been told

[56:42] that he's going to be there.

[56:44] Yes.

[56:45] Paul has told Victor

Elliott Kalan

[56:46] there's going to be people

[56:47] at the house.

[56:48] Jake will be at the house.

[56:49] I found this so strange.

[56:50] But then Victor still

[56:51] asked surprised.

[56:51] Yeah.

[56:52] I can understand if Victor

[56:53] didn't tell the other crooks

[56:54] that he's like,

[56:54] we're doing this heist,

[56:55] I'm not going to tell them.

[56:56] But even Victor

[56:57] acts surprised,

[56:57] which is weird.

[56:59] But then he knows they're there.

[56:59] He starts demanding Jake

[57:00] come out of the panic room.

[57:02] And that's when

[57:02] the art specialist,

[57:03] he puts two and two together

[57:05] with some clues

[57:05] that the bruiser crook

[57:07] tells him about

[57:08] a painting about a man

[57:09] in a funny hat

[57:09] smoking a pipe.

[57:11] And he realizes

[57:11] there's a Cezanne

[57:12] in Jake's kitchen

[57:13] and it's a $200 million painting.

[57:16] And he keeps saying,

[57:16] that's a $200 million painting.

[57:18] He's like,

[57:18] the kind of people

[57:19] that have paintings like that

[57:19] are not the kind of people

[57:20] that you want to fuck over.

Stuart Wellington

[57:22] And he-

[57:23] I kind of like that element

[57:24] because it is like a moment

[57:26] where he's like,

[57:26] I'm in over my head

[57:27] because that kind of money

[57:28] like that's an erase you

[57:30] kind of money

[57:30] if you don't even consider

[57:32] the fact that the guy

[57:33] made his money

[57:33] figuring out

[57:35] all your information.

Dan McCoy

[57:36] Or consider the fact

[57:37] that like,

[57:38] as someone points out

[57:39] later on,

[57:40] like fine art

[57:41] is a hard thing

[57:42] to fence

[57:43] at that level.

[57:44] Or consider the lilies.

[57:46] They neither spin

[57:46] nor do they weave.

[57:48] But these crooks

[57:49] who like come into

[57:50] like a billionaire's home

[57:51] and immediately

[57:51] like they're unmasked.

[57:54] Yes.

[57:54] Like these are not the people.

[57:55] These are not the geniuses.

[57:56] I don't even know

[57:56] if they're wearing gloves

[57:57] while they're walking

[57:58] around to there.

[57:58] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[57:59] They are,

[58:00] it's so,

[58:01] they're acting so dumb

[58:03] the whole time

[58:04] that in fact he's like,

[58:05] he's like,

[58:05] steal me that Cezanne.

[58:06] And it's like,

[58:07] people know what Cezannes

[58:08] there are

[58:09] and who owns them.

[58:10] Like it's not,

[58:11] like they're not

[58:11] valuable comic books.

[58:12] There's not like

[58:13] a hundred copies

[58:14] of this Cezanne in existence.

[58:16] Like,

[58:16] so anyway,

[58:17] it's a,

[58:18] it's all,

[58:18] it's not a well thought

[58:19] through heist.

[58:20] But I guess

[58:21] very few art heists are.

[58:22] It happens a lot that,

[58:24] I mean,

[58:24] it used to happen more,

[58:25] I guess,

[58:25] where famous paintings

[58:26] would be stolen from museums

[58:27] and then disappear

[58:28] because they could not be fenced

[58:30] or if they were fenced,

[58:31] they were so privately done

[58:32] and that's why like,

[58:34] those paintings get destroyed

[58:35] because they don't want

[58:36] to be caught with them

[58:37] and they're,

[58:37] it's,

[58:38] it stinks.

[58:38] I know there was a

[58:39] Winslow Homer painting

[58:40] that disappeared a long time ago.

[58:41] There's like,

[58:42] the scream has been stolen

[58:45] multiple times

[58:45] and it's like,

[58:46] why would you steal

[58:47] one of the most recognizable

[58:48] paintings in the world?

[58:49] Like,

[58:49] that's nuts.

[58:50] And why would you,

[58:51] why would you have

[58:51] the Mona Lisa at your house

[58:53] when it's just going to get destroyed

[58:54] by Janelle Monae?

Dan McCoy

[58:55] I guess at least with the scream,

[58:56] there are multiple of that one.

[58:58] There are true.

Stuart Wellington

[58:58] There are multiple of the screams.

[58:59] Yeah.

[59:00] I feel like if you go to any boardwalk,

[59:02] you can get like a shirt with it on it.

Dan McCoy

[59:03] Yeah.

[59:04] But that's not quite the same

[59:05] as having the original.

[59:06] Yeah.

[59:06] Oh no,

Stuart Wellington

[59:07] it's,

[59:07] can you put the fucking original

[59:09] on your body

[59:09] and protect you from the elements?

Dan McCoy

[59:11] Yeah.

[59:13] That way you get to enjoy

[59:14] two great works of art,

[59:16] the scream and Stuart's torso

[59:18] at the same time.

[59:20] Yeah,

[59:20] exactly.

[59:20] I mean,

[59:20] if Stuart's wearing it.

[59:21] What a combination.

[59:21] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[59:22] I mean,

[59:22] obviously I'll have to cut the sleeves off.

[59:24] Did we agree?

[59:25] Well,

[59:25] I imagine that that's still going to leave.

[59:28] And the midriff too.

Dan McCoy

[59:29] Unless it's a full bleed

[59:30] copy of the scream on your shirt,

[59:33] it probably won't affect

[59:34] the actual image.

[59:36] So that's fine.

[59:36] All over print shit is so dope.

Elliott Kalan

[59:38] I mean,

[59:39] the thing is you don't need

[59:40] the scream on your shirt

[59:41] because people are going to scream

[59:42] when they see those abs too.

[59:43] That's just the way it is.

Stuart Wellington

[59:44] Yeah,

[59:44] yeah,

[59:44] yeah.

[59:45] I'm a 42 year old man,

[59:46] almost 43.

[59:48] And if I,

[59:49] I have understood that somebody

[59:51] at my age that has abs

[59:52] has to be a fucking psychopath.

Elliott Kalan

[59:55] Or,

[59:56] or,

[59:56] or works in pornography.

[59:57] One of those two things.

[59:58] And also those are not

[59:59] mutually exclusive also.

[1:00:00] Okay.

[1:00:01] So,

[1:00:01] Dan,

[1:00:03] were you going to say something

[1:00:03] about abs?

Dan McCoy

[1:00:04] Yeah,

[1:00:05] I was going to say something

[1:00:06] about abs,

[1:00:06] but then I realized

[1:00:07] it's just going to be

[1:00:08] retelling an anecdote

[1:00:09] that I heard on blank check.

[1:00:10] So I'm like,

[1:00:11] I'm not going to steal their content.

[1:00:12] Just go listen to blank check.

[1:00:14] That's fair.

[1:00:14] Just,

[1:00:15] yeah,

[1:00:15] just search abs.

[1:00:17] Abs plus blank check.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:22] Oh,

[1:00:22] look at these photos.

[1:00:24] Just fucking ask Jeeves about it.

[1:00:25] I don't care.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:26] Yeah,

[1:00:26] just ask him.

[1:00:27] Just ask him.

[1:00:27] Jeeves will wake up

[1:00:29] from his thousand years slumber.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:32] While you're doing it,

[1:00:33] ask Jeeves about,

[1:00:34] you know,

[1:00:34] the birds and the bees

[1:00:35] because I don't want to have

[1:00:36] that talk with you.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:37] No,

[1:00:37] no,

[1:00:37] you don't want to hear about

[1:00:38] that on the streets.

[1:00:38] You want to hear about that

[1:00:39] from Jeeves.

[1:00:40] If Kazuo Ishiguro

[1:00:42] has taught me anything,

[1:00:43] it's that,

[1:00:43] it's that an English butler

[1:00:44] is going to be able

[1:00:45] to explain this kind of stuff.

[1:00:46] Yeah.

[1:00:47] With a sensitivity.

[1:00:49] I'm surprised anything

[1:00:52] was remained,

[1:00:52] anything remained in that day

[1:00:54] after,

[1:00:54] after he spent himself

[1:00:56] like that.

[1:00:59] Anyway,

[1:01:00] so,

[1:01:01] and Shadowlands,

[1:01:01] et cetera.

[1:01:02] So Jake's wife and daughter,

[1:01:03] they show up at the house.

[1:01:04] They fight the bad guys

[1:01:05] pretty well.

[1:01:06] Jake's,

[1:01:06] I was hoping that she

[1:01:08] would beat their ass

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:09] way worse.

[1:01:10] Yeah.

[1:01:11] Because like,

[1:01:11] they do introduce her

[1:01:12] doing some pretty intense

[1:01:14] like boxing.

[1:01:15] Boxing training.

[1:01:15] Yeah.

[1:01:16] So I was hoping that she

[1:01:17] would just like pound

[1:01:18] the shit out of him

[1:01:19] and they would

[1:01:19] eventually subdue her.

[1:01:20] But like,

[1:01:21] she doesn't really,

[1:01:21] like for all the hits

[1:01:22] she gets in,

[1:01:23] it doesn't really

[1:01:23] affect anything.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:24] No,

[1:01:25] that's true.

[1:01:25] I mean,

[1:01:25] Victor has a metal face

[1:01:26] apparently,

[1:01:27] so the punches

[1:01:27] don't hurt him that much.

[1:01:28] But again,

[1:01:29] our friend Anton is here.

[1:01:30] Guys,

[1:01:31] did you notice how

[1:01:32] they introduced her

[1:01:32] boxing in the first act

[1:01:34] and now she's good

[1:01:35] at punching in the face

[1:01:36] in the third act?

[1:01:36] Yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:36] but it didn't really

[1:01:37] That's just good writing.

[1:01:38] That's just good writing.

[1:01:39] That's what I say,

[1:01:39] Anton Chekhov.

[1:01:40] It's the only thing,

[1:01:41] and in fact,

[1:01:41] it's the only way

[1:01:42] to judge good writing.

[1:01:43] If that happens,

[1:01:49] introduces plenty of things

[1:01:50] in his plays

[1:01:51] that don't pay off

[1:01:52] exactly by the end of it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:54] It's almost like

[1:01:55] we shouldn't take

[1:01:55] Oh,

[1:01:55] like when he introduces

[1:01:57] Rey

[1:01:58] and then you find out

[1:02:00] that she doesn't have

[1:02:01] important parents

[1:02:02] or something?

[1:02:02] Like,

[1:02:03] what the fuck?

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:03] Yeah,

[1:02:04] it's crazy.

[1:02:05] It's almost like

[1:02:05] we shouldn't take

[1:02:06] one of the greatest writers

[1:02:07] in literature,

[1:02:09] just a supreme

[1:02:10] observer of human behavior

[1:02:12] and boil him down

[1:02:13] to a rule

[1:02:14] that doesn't have

[1:02:15] to be followed.

[1:02:16] Single aphorism.

[1:02:17] Yeah,

[1:02:18] single one.

[1:02:18] So,

[1:02:18] single aphorism,

[1:02:20] also the name

[1:02:20] of my jazz album.

[1:02:21] So,

[1:02:21] he tries to hold off

[1:02:23] the baddies

[1:02:24] with Mikey's gun

[1:02:24] even though it only

[1:02:25] has one bullet in it

[1:02:26] and Victor sends

[1:02:28] the other two crooks

[1:02:29] to get the Cezanne

[1:02:29] and Jake starts

[1:02:30] psyching out Victor

[1:02:31] by saying,

[1:02:32] hey,

[1:02:32] I poisoned my friends

[1:02:33] with the wine glasses

[1:02:34] and you've ingested

[1:02:35] that poison also

[1:02:36] and to sell the tale,

[1:02:37] he talks about

[1:02:38] how he poisoned Alex

[1:02:39] so that his second wife

[1:02:41] will get very mad about it

[1:02:42] and he goes,

[1:02:43] you need the antidote

[1:02:44] and it's in that safe

[1:02:45] and he goes,

[1:02:46] and while Jake

[1:02:46] opens the safe

[1:02:47] to get the antidote,

[1:02:48] his friends go up

[1:02:49] to the darkened kitchen

[1:02:51] and just prepare

[1:02:52] to ambush these crooks

[1:02:53] and fight them

[1:02:54] in the dark

[1:02:54] because they have gone

[1:02:55] from being so scared

[1:02:56] they need to hide

[1:02:57] in the panic room

[1:02:57] to being like,

[1:02:58] I guess we'll just

[1:02:59] beat them up.

[1:02:59] I guess seeing Jake's

[1:03:01] wife and daughter

[1:03:01] almost defeat

[1:03:02] these crooks

[1:03:03] has made them realize

[1:03:04] it's not the threat

[1:03:05] they thought it was.

[1:03:06] Yeah.

[1:03:07] Jake fills a syringe

[1:03:08] with what he said

[1:03:09] is the anecdote

[1:03:10] and Victor takes it

[1:03:11] from him

[1:03:11] and jabs it

[1:03:12] in his own leg.

[1:03:12] Once again,

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:12] antidote.

[1:03:13] If he filled a syringe

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:14] with an anecdote.

[1:03:15] Yeah, if he filled it

[1:03:15] with an anecdote,

[1:03:16] you just have a story

[1:03:19] about a celebrity

[1:03:19] introduction

[1:03:21] in your bloodstream

[1:03:22] and that's it.

[1:03:22] Elliot and I

Dan McCoy

[1:03:23] fell victim to

[1:03:24] I think the same thing

[1:03:25] which is that

[1:03:26] anecdote is a word

[1:03:27] that we say

[1:03:28] frequently

[1:03:29] in normal life

[1:03:30] whereas antidote

[1:03:31] we've been fortunate

[1:03:32] enough to not have to say.

[1:03:33] Unless I'm acting out

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:36] the best scene

[1:03:36] from Indiana Jones

[1:03:37] and the Temple of Doom

[1:03:38] I find myself

[1:03:38] not saying antidote

[1:03:39] that much.

[1:03:41] So Jake

[1:03:41] fills this

[1:03:42] so Victor

[1:03:43] seals the syringe

[1:03:44] and slams it

[1:03:44] in his leg

[1:03:45] and goes

[1:03:45] now you can die

[1:03:46] of poison fucker

[1:03:47] or whatever

[1:03:47] and then runs away

[1:03:48] falling for the easiest trick

[1:03:50] in the history of tricks

[1:03:52] he has of course

[1:03:53] given himself

[1:03:53] a lethal dose

[1:03:54] of the truth serum

[1:03:55] he stumbles off

[1:03:56] and dies outside

[1:03:57] for some reason

[1:03:58] sprawled out like

[1:03:59] Christ on the cross

[1:04:00] like in that pose

[1:04:01] and I sent these guys

[1:04:03] I like to say like

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:04] Joker surrounded by knives

[1:04:06] but that's fine

[1:04:06] yours works too

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:08] whoever your messiah is

[1:04:10] whether you worship

[1:04:11] Jesus or the Joker

[1:04:13] I mean

[1:04:14] it really wasn't Jesus

[1:04:15] the original Joker

[1:04:16] I think so

[1:04:17] that bit about

[1:04:18] the prodigal son

[1:04:19] and all that

[1:04:19] so I sent to Dan

[1:04:22] and Stuart

[1:04:22] I texted them

[1:04:23] the other day

[1:04:23] a picture of a

[1:04:25] stretchy Hulk toy

[1:04:26] that my son has

[1:04:27] that is also in the

[1:04:28] Christ on the cross pose

[1:04:29] for some reason

[1:04:30] so I think we're

[1:04:31] overusing that pose

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:32] and lo may the meek

[1:04:34] be jokerfied

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:35] yeah yeah yeah

[1:04:36] and when

[1:04:38] when

[1:04:40] when

[1:04:41] when

[1:04:42] when

[1:04:42] Hulk Christ said

[1:04:43] if thine eye offends me

[1:04:44] if I offends thee

[1:04:45] smash it out

[1:04:46] you know

[1:04:47] I come not with it

[1:04:49] I come with it

[1:04:50] with a sword

[1:04:50] because I'm the strongest

[1:04:51] there is

[1:04:52] anyway so forth

[1:04:52] so the art thief

[1:04:53] in the battle

[1:04:54] he fires his shotgun

[1:04:56] and is horrified to learn

[1:04:57] the only thing he's harmed

[1:04:58] is that Cezanne

[1:04:59] he's just filled it

[1:05:00] full of holes

[1:05:01] and the boys

[1:05:02] are rough and tumble boys

[1:05:04] they overwhelm

[1:05:04] the other two crooks

[1:05:05] Jake unties the ladies

[1:05:06] and we cut to

[1:05:08] our final VO

[1:05:10] which goes on for a long time

[1:05:11] where Jake is like

[1:05:12] life is a game

[1:05:13] you gotta play it right

[1:05:14] and he says this sentence

[1:05:15] that is so confusingly worded

[1:05:17] yes

[1:05:17] I had to

[1:05:18] I had to rewind it

[1:05:19] a couple times

[1:05:20] to make sure

[1:05:20] I had heard this way

[1:05:21] did you write it down

[1:05:21] because

[1:05:21] I did write it down

[1:05:22] yes

[1:05:23] he says

[1:05:23] so Dan

[1:05:24] do you want to try to

[1:05:25] recreate it from memory

[1:05:26] or no

Dan McCoy

[1:05:26] I mean

[1:05:28] he basically says

[1:05:29] the simplest idea

[1:05:30] that you can

[1:05:31] which is basically

[1:05:32] like you

[1:05:33] you affect other people

[1:05:34] in your life

[1:05:34] you can't not affect

[1:05:36] other people

[1:05:36] but he does it

[1:05:37] through such a web

[1:05:39] of

[1:05:39] as I did the second time

[1:05:41] around double negatives

[1:05:42] and clauses

[1:05:43] and

[1:05:44] please

[1:05:45] lay it on us

[1:05:46] this is what he says

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:46] and again

[1:05:47] I rewound twice

[1:05:48] so I could hear this

[1:05:49] three times

[1:05:49] to understand

[1:05:50] to make sure

[1:05:51] it was as weirdly

[1:05:52] phrased as I thought

[1:05:53] he says

[1:05:53] I've never been misguided

[1:05:55] in understanding

[1:05:56] that the way

[1:05:56] we've created opportunity

[1:05:57] for ourselves

[1:05:58] hasn't had an effect

[1:05:59] on the lives of others

[1:06:00] which is like

[1:06:01] hold on a second

[1:06:02] let's break it down

[1:06:03] so

[1:06:04] okay

[1:06:06] so that

[1:06:08] I haven't had illusions

[1:06:09] I haven't had illusions

[1:06:10] no one has ever said

[1:06:12] something

[1:06:12] I've never

[1:06:13] like

[1:06:13] what he wants to say

[1:06:14] is I guess like

[1:06:15] I've never been under

[1:06:16] the impression

[1:06:16] that what I do

[1:06:17] doesn't affect others

[1:06:18] like Dan said

[1:06:23] I think that's the part

[1:06:24] that hasn't had an effect

[1:06:25] on a lot

[1:06:25] so I was like

[1:06:25] is he

[1:06:26] so does he think

[1:06:27] he

[1:06:28] wait

[1:06:28] so he does understand

[1:06:29] that he doesn't affect

[1:06:31] or he's never been misguided

[1:06:32] in thinking that

[1:06:33] it's a

[1:06:34] it's just such a

[1:06:34] it's such a

[1:06:35] confusingly worded way

[1:06:36] of saying a very clearly

[1:06:37] stated thing

[1:06:38] I think that

Dan McCoy

[1:06:38] this is the admission

[1:06:39] that

[1:06:40] you've been waiting for

[1:06:42] perhaps

[1:06:42] that he's like

[1:06:43] look I know

[1:06:44] that our company

[1:06:45] is bad

[1:06:46] is evil

[1:06:47] yeah

[1:06:48] like I've had a lot

[1:06:49] of success

[1:06:49] and I've had success

[1:06:50] from my friends

[1:06:51] but like

[1:06:52] I'm aware

[1:06:53] that we have done

[1:06:55] bad along the way

[1:06:56] but again

[1:06:57] yeah

[1:06:58] the weirdest way

[1:06:59] of putting that

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:04] for ourselves

[1:07:05] hasn't had an effect

[1:07:06] on the lives of others

[1:07:07] it's like

[1:07:07] it's like he's daring you

[1:07:09] to misunderstand

[1:07:09] what he's saying

[1:07:10] I mean

Dan McCoy

[1:07:10] I think that this is like

[1:07:11] a Nixonian sort of

[1:07:12] mistakes were made

[1:07:14] kind of like

[1:07:15] I'm gonna admit

[1:07:15] that I'm at fault

[1:07:17] but in a very passive way

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:18] yeah

[1:07:19] yeah

[1:07:19] it's just a

[1:07:21] it's very

[1:07:22] okay

[1:07:23] I'll give you that one

[1:07:24] and so

[1:07:24] the other characters

[1:07:26] now meet for

[1:07:26] reading of Jake's will

[1:07:27] realize that

[1:07:28] this word salad

[1:07:29] is his last will

[1:07:30] and testament

Dan McCoy

[1:07:30] what a legacy

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:32] seems like he could

[1:07:33] revise it a few times

[1:07:35] if it was a document

[1:07:36] but

[1:07:36] no he got it perfect

[1:07:37] the first time

[1:07:38] and he goes through

[1:07:39] all of them

[1:07:39] and because

[1:07:41] of course

[1:07:41] big hearted Jake

[1:07:42] the man who

[1:07:43] tortured everyone

[1:07:44] he gives half his money

[1:07:47] to charities

[1:07:48] he says

[1:07:48] including charities

[1:07:49] about gambling addiction

[1:07:50] so I'm

[1:07:51] it's like

[1:07:52] when the Koch brothers

[1:07:54] are like

[1:07:54] I know we're

[1:07:55] destroying democracy

[1:07:55] but we are gonna endow

[1:07:56] the New York ballet company

[1:07:58] with a new set of costumes

[1:07:59] so we did okay

[1:08:00] and the rest is apportioned out

[1:08:02] to his friends

[1:08:03] he has some

[1:08:03] requirements

[1:08:04] Paul has to leave politics

[1:08:06] Mikey has to go to rehab

[1:08:08] but in exchange

[1:08:09] they get

[1:08:09] what is it

[1:08:10] 25 million dollars

[1:08:11] or something like that

[1:08:11] or 50 million dollars

[1:08:12] and the rest of the money

[1:08:14] goes to his daughter

[1:08:15] and he also has set up

[1:08:17] a trust for all of Alex

[1:08:18] and his wife's

[1:08:19] future children

[1:08:20] and they smile at each other

[1:08:22] like yeah

[1:08:22] and it's

[1:08:23] it's just a weird moment

[1:08:24] and

[1:08:25] he leaves them with a sermon

[1:08:27] the camera

[1:08:27] goes off into the waves

[1:08:30] as if trying to escape the film

[1:08:32] as the VO goes into a sermon

[1:08:34] about friendship

[1:08:34] and you gotta forgive

[1:08:35] imperfections

[1:08:36] and so forth

[1:08:37] and

[1:08:37] we finally get to the credits

[1:08:39] and after the first credit

[1:08:40] Dan there's that mid-credit scene

[1:08:42] what happens in it

Dan McCoy

[1:08:43] we see

[1:08:45] that woman

[1:08:46] from the beginning

[1:08:47] who wanted to paint a picture

[1:08:48] of Russell Crowe

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:50] and she's

[1:08:51] wait so Stuart

[1:08:51] you didn't see the scene

[1:08:52] like normally

[1:08:53] with the mid-credit scenes

[1:08:54] or did you

[1:08:54] what happened

[1:08:55] okay so Stuart

[1:08:56] I want you to get

[1:08:57] I can't tell if this is a bit

[1:08:58] Stuart I want you to

[1:08:58] if you didn't watch it

[1:08:59] I want you to guess

[1:09:00] should I close my eyes

[1:09:01] what

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:03] so

[1:09:05] close your eyes

[1:09:05] and visualize it

[1:09:06] what happens in this mid-credit scene

[1:09:07] we

[1:09:08] sunrise

[1:09:09] on pebble beach

[1:09:11] okay

[1:09:12] interesting

[1:09:12] we think

[1:09:13] Victor

[1:09:14] was dead

[1:09:15] but his hand stirs

[1:09:17] he's not dead

[1:09:19] we have a sequel

[1:09:20] so Dan

[1:09:21] is that what happens

Dan McCoy

[1:09:22] well I mean

[1:09:23] I don't know why Stuart

[1:09:24] would guess that

[1:09:25] since I already

[1:09:25] introduced the idea

[1:09:26] of the portrait lady

[1:09:28] from the beginning

[1:09:28] but I still

[1:09:29] have no idea

[1:09:30] whether Stuart saw this

[1:09:31] or not

[1:09:31] but anyway

[1:09:31] she has won

[1:09:33] the portrait contest

[1:09:34] she painted a portrait

[1:09:36] and she won the big contest

[1:09:38] looking sad

[1:09:39] as he looked at art

[1:09:40] I mean like

[1:09:40] just his face

[1:09:41] but we know

[1:09:42] that's what

[1:09:42] guys

[1:09:43] and the picture is okay

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:44] it's fine

[1:09:44] Dan you can't tell

[1:09:45] if I'm being serious

[1:09:46] or not

[1:09:46] would you say

[1:09:47] that I have

[1:09:47] a poker face

Dan McCoy

[1:09:49] yeah

[1:09:49] well now that you've

[1:09:52] suggested that I say it

[1:09:53] I would say that

[1:09:54] I don't know if I would

[1:09:56] have done it on my own

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:56] and so

[1:09:57] again just like our friend

[1:09:59] Anton Chekhov

[1:10:00] would have demanded

[1:10:01] the woman introduced

[1:10:02] in the beginning

[1:10:03] is brought back at the end

[1:10:04] to book it

[1:10:05] and it's one of those things

[1:10:05] where it's like

[1:10:06] oh yeah

[1:10:07] not only is Russell Crowe

[1:10:10] his character

[1:10:11] I guess the greatest

[1:10:12] big hearted man

[1:10:13] in the history of the world

[1:10:14] he is also

[1:10:15] a beautiful work of art

[1:10:16] that will inspire

[1:10:17] generations

[1:10:18] to come

[1:10:18] and he has become

[1:10:19] the art that he so loves

[1:10:20] yeah

[1:10:20] now he belongs

[1:10:21] to the ages

[1:10:22] now he's become

[1:10:23] the art he so loves

[1:10:24] but it's more

[1:10:24] of a Twilight Zone ending

[1:10:25] and he's banging

[1:10:26] on the inside

[1:10:26] of the painting

[1:10:27] going no

[1:10:28] no

[1:10:28] I'm trapped

[1:10:29] it's so funny

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:30] that I ended up

[1:10:31] doing an inadvertent

[1:10:32] double feature

[1:10:33] with this

[1:10:33] and The Fablements

[1:10:35] and it's so funny

[1:10:37] to see two movies

[1:10:38] that are like

[1:10:38] ostensibly about

[1:10:39] somebody's life

[1:10:40] or what

[1:10:41] like the way

[1:10:41] they view their legacy

[1:10:42] one of them amazing

Dan McCoy

[1:10:45] one of them not as much

[1:10:47] you make the call

[1:10:47] I wonder which was which

[1:10:48] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:48] one of them features

[1:10:50] David Lynch

[1:10:51] in a surprising role

[1:10:52] oh that was

[1:10:53] what a wonderful

[1:10:54] and here's the thing

[1:10:55] okay

[1:10:56] and I guess

[1:10:56] for anyone who hasn't seen

[1:10:57] The Fablements

[1:10:57] this is kind of a spoiler

[1:10:59] but to see

[1:11:00] there's something about

[1:11:01] seeing David Lynch

[1:11:02] appearing in that movie

[1:11:03] in a small role

[1:11:04] that is perfect

[1:11:04] because it's like

[1:11:05] right

[1:11:06] not only

[1:11:07] do Spielberg

[1:11:08] and David Lynch

[1:11:09] who would seemingly be

[1:11:10] the opposing sides

[1:11:11] of the filmmaker spectrum

[1:11:12] not only do they exist

[1:11:13] in the same world

[1:11:14] but they

[1:11:15] they operated

[1:11:16] at the same time

[1:11:17] in the same

[1:11:17] filmmaking world

[1:11:18] and I'm sure

[1:11:19] have known each other

[1:11:20] for some time

[1:11:21] and like

[1:11:21] it's such a great

[1:11:22] that moment

[1:11:22] it was like

[1:11:23] it made me realize

[1:11:24] like oh yeah

[1:11:24] Lynch has been

[1:11:25] part like

[1:11:26] for an experimental filmmaker

[1:11:28] is a real part

[1:11:29] of the mainstream

[1:11:29] in a wonderful way

[1:11:30] people know who he is

[1:11:31] they know

[1:11:31] at least some of his movies

[1:11:32] and Spielberg

[1:11:33] for being maybe

[1:11:34] the most mainstream director

[1:11:35] there is

[1:11:36] is someone who is

[1:11:37] a real artist

[1:11:37] the way that Lynch

[1:11:38] it was like

[1:11:38] such a great moment

[1:11:39] of being like

[1:11:40] yeah these guys

[1:11:40] are not that different

[1:11:41] you know

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:41] I kind of can't believe

[1:11:42] that David Lynch

[1:11:44] was the second choice

[1:11:45] for the role

[1:11:45] the first being

[1:11:45] of course

[1:11:46] Michael Bay

[1:11:46] was going to play

[1:11:47] that character

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:47] now that would have

[1:11:49] been a different story

[1:11:50] I don't know

[1:11:51] if that would have

[1:11:51] worked quite as well

[1:11:52] but I love also

[1:11:53] that whenever David Lynch

[1:11:54] is in a movie

[1:11:54] he plays it

[1:11:55] the exact same way

[1:11:56] which is just

[1:11:56] to shout his lines

[1:11:57] as loudly as possible

Dan McCoy

[1:11:59] and that beautiful

[1:12:01] flat voice of his

[1:12:02] yeah

[1:12:03] I love it so much

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:04] what a treasure

Dan McCoy

[1:12:05] hey

[1:12:07] why don't we do

[1:12:08] our final judgments

[1:12:08] whether it's a good

[1:12:09] bad movie

[1:12:10] a bad bad movie

[1:12:11] or a movie

[1:12:11] we kind of like

[1:12:12] this is what I'll say

[1:12:14] about Poker Face

[1:12:15] it is definitely

[1:12:15] a bad bad movie

[1:12:16] I don't think

[1:12:19] anyone needs

[1:12:20] to see it at all

[1:12:21] but it wasn't

[1:12:23] but for me

[1:12:25] to have seen it

[1:12:26] consign it to oblivion

[1:12:28] yeah

[1:12:28] for me to have seen it

[1:12:30] I found it interesting

[1:12:31] just because I'm like

[1:12:31] this is such a bizarre

[1:12:33] cavalcade of

[1:12:35] like what

[1:12:36] like I don't understand

[1:12:37] how anyone

[1:12:38] thought this was

[1:12:40] a movie

[1:12:41] especially someone

[1:12:43] like Russell Crowe

[1:12:44] who's worked

[1:12:44] for so long

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:45] well it shows

[1:12:46] it feels very

[1:12:48] student filmy

[1:12:49] that is

[1:12:50] it is a

[1:12:50] clearly heartfelt

[1:12:51] kind of

[1:12:52] who knows how

[1:12:53] autobiographical

[1:12:54] depiction of his feelings

[1:12:55] and

[1:12:55] yeah

[1:12:56] it is

[1:12:57] and from a story

[1:12:58] perspective

[1:12:59] and in some ways

[1:12:59] from a technical

[1:13:00] perspective

[1:13:00] it just doesn't

[1:13:01] work

[1:13:02] it feels like

[1:13:02] someone who has

[1:13:03] never made a movie

[1:13:04] before

[1:13:04] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:13:05] and it's not even

[1:13:06] the first movie

[1:13:06] he's directed

[1:13:07] I think

[1:13:07] yeah

[1:13:08] and I texted

[1:13:09] you guys

[1:13:10] like partway

[1:13:10] through

[1:13:10] I'm like

[1:13:11] I'm

[1:13:11] would love to

[1:13:13] like I'm waiting

[1:13:13] for this movie

[1:13:14] to figure out

[1:13:14] what it is

[1:13:15] and it never does

[1:13:16] like

[1:13:16] it never seems

[1:13:17] to settle down

[1:13:18] into like

[1:13:18] oh okay

[1:13:19] I know why

[1:13:19] this movie

[1:13:20] was made

[1:13:20] like I have

[1:13:21] no idea

[1:13:22] what

[1:13:22] really

[1:13:23] the thinking

[1:13:24] was

[1:13:24] like why

[1:13:25] this story

[1:13:26] was the story

[1:13:26] so

[1:13:27] bad bad

[1:13:28] but interesting

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:29] it's

[1:13:30] I think

[1:13:31] it's

[1:13:31] I will also

[1:13:32] say bad bad

[1:13:32] yeah

[1:13:32] but interesting

[1:13:33] to future

[1:13:33] biographers

[1:13:35] I feel like

[1:13:35] it's

[1:13:36] he's

[1:13:37] unless I'm wrong

[1:13:38] it really feels

[1:13:38] like he's

[1:13:38] putting his soul

[1:13:39] on celluloid

[1:13:40] and just

[1:13:41] you know

[1:13:41] failing to really

[1:13:42] communicate

[1:13:43] yeah

[1:13:43] exactly

Dan McCoy

[1:13:44] I feel a little

[1:13:45] bad at a certain

[1:13:46] level

[1:13:46] because I'm like

[1:13:46] it seems like

[1:13:47] a passion project

[1:13:48] I guess

[1:13:49] but

[1:13:49] yeah

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:49] yeah

[1:13:51] there's a

[1:13:51] I think there's

[1:13:52] a certain charm

[1:13:52] to the fact

[1:13:53] that it's

[1:13:53] it seems like

[1:13:54] a passion project

[1:13:55] and if you are

[1:13:56] like

[1:13:56] okay

[1:13:57] I'm writing

[1:13:58] a fucking

[1:13:58] paper on

[1:13:59] Russell Crowe

[1:13:59] I need to

[1:14:00] figure it all out

[1:14:01] but I do love

[1:14:02] the idea

[1:14:02] that you're like

[1:14:03] why this was

[1:14:03] made

[1:14:04] you know

[1:14:04] in an age

[1:14:06] where streaming

[1:14:06] services are

[1:14:07] killing people's

[1:14:08] access to movies

[1:14:09] and there's still

[1:14:10] so many movies

[1:14:10] that aren't even

[1:14:11] available

[1:14:11] physical

[1:14:12] why

[1:14:12] can I

[1:14:13] watch

[1:14:13] Poker Face

[1:14:14] whenever

[1:14:14] but I can't

[1:14:16] I have like

[1:14:16] Ken Russell's

[1:14:17] The Devils

[1:14:18] was only

[1:14:18] recently made

[1:14:19] available to me

[1:14:20] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:22] well

[1:14:23] that's

[1:14:23] sometimes

[1:14:24] movies mean

[1:14:25] different things

[1:14:25] sometimes a movie

[1:14:26] is there to

[1:14:26] excite you

[1:14:27] with an exciting

[1:14:28] story

[1:14:28] sometimes it's

[1:14:29] there to

[1:14:29] touch your

[1:14:29] heart

[1:14:29] and sometimes

[1:14:30] it's just

[1:14:30] there to be

[1:14:31] a sort of

[1:14:31] Russelletta

[1:14:32] stone

[1:14:32] that just

[1:14:33] helps you

[1:14:34] decode

[1:14:34] what's going

[1:14:35] on inside

[1:14:36] at the moment

Dan McCoy

[1:14:36] yeah

[1:14:37] okay

[1:14:42] zebras

[1:14:42] orangutans

[1:14:44] oh

[1:14:44] sorry

[1:14:44] hi

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:45] not used to

[1:14:45] the animals

[1:14:46] talking

[1:14:46] who are you

S4

[1:14:47] yes

[1:14:47] my name is

[1:14:48] Carrie Poppy

[1:14:48] I co-host a podcast

[1:14:49] called Ona Ross and Carrie

[1:14:50] this is my co-host Ross

[1:14:52] right here

[1:14:52] okay

[1:14:53] we investigate

[1:14:53] spirituality

[1:14:54] claims of the paranormal

[1:14:56] and we were wondering

[1:14:57] if we could get on

[1:14:59] the arc

Dan McCoy

[1:15:00] you did come two by two

[1:15:01] I appreciate that

[1:15:02] though most

[1:15:03] of the things

[1:15:03] I'm letting on the arc

[1:15:04] don't talk

S4

[1:15:05] I'm gonna be talking

[1:15:05] all up on this boat

[1:15:07] do you mind both

Dan McCoy

[1:15:08] I prefer arc

[1:15:09] or barge

S4

[1:15:10] okay I'm not listening

[1:15:10] but if you let me on

[1:15:12] then I will make my

[1:15:14] really good podcast

[1:15:15] on your boat

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:16] can you at least

[1:15:17] help clean up

Dan McCoy

[1:15:18] all the poop

S4

[1:15:18] I guess I don't see

[1:15:20] why not

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:20] well I'll check out

[1:15:21] the podcast

[1:15:21] where do I find it

S4

[1:15:22] it's on

[1:15:22] maximumfun.org

S5

[1:15:24] oh my gosh hi

[1:15:27] I'm Dave Holmes

[1:15:27] host of the pop culture

[1:15:29] trivia podcast

[1:15:30] Troubled Waters

[1:15:31] on Troubled Waters

[1:15:32] we play games like

[1:15:34] motivational speeches

[1:15:35] and it goes a little

[1:15:36] like this

[1:15:36] Riley give us an

[1:15:37] improvised motivational speech

[1:15:39] on why people should

[1:15:40] listen and subscribe

[1:15:41] to Troubled Waters

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:42] I look around

[1:15:43] this ad

[1:15:44] and I see a lot

[1:15:45] of potential

[1:15:46] to listen to comedians

[1:15:47] such as Jackie Johnson

[1:15:49] and Josh Dondelman

[1:15:50] and they need you

[1:15:51] to get out there

[1:15:52] and listen to them

[1:15:53] attempt to figure out

[1:15:54] sound rebus clues

[1:15:55] or determine if something

[1:15:56] is a Game of Thrones

[1:15:57] character

[1:15:58] or a city in Wales

S5

[1:16:00] I have chills

[1:16:01] I'm going to give you

[1:16:02] 15 points

[1:16:03] all that and so much more

[1:16:04] on Troubled Waters

[1:16:05] find it on

[1:16:06] or wherever you choose

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:07] to listen to podcasts

[1:16:08] hey there

[1:16:10] Stuart here

[1:16:10] and I am here

[1:16:12] with my wife Charlene

[1:16:13] who is going to talk to you

[1:16:14] about an upcoming

[1:16:15] super fun event

[1:16:16] at our bar Minis

S6

[1:16:17] hi everyone

[1:16:18] I want to invite you

[1:16:19] to our event

[1:16:20] at Minis

[1:16:21] this coming Tuesday

[1:16:22] Valentine's

[1:16:23] Day

[1:16:23] it is all

[1:16:25] gender speed friending

[1:16:26] it's all the fun

[1:16:27] of speed dating

[1:16:28] without the threat

[1:16:29] of hooking up

[1:16:29] so this is not

[1:16:30] a coupling event

[1:16:32] it's just for

[1:16:32] making new friends

[1:16:33] and that is going

[1:16:34] to be this Tuesday

[1:16:35] February 14th

[1:16:37] at 7pm

[1:16:38] hosted by our

[1:16:39] very own

[1:16:40] in-house drag queen

[1:16:41] Gisabella

[1:16:42] and that's

[1:16:43] Minis Bar

[1:16:43] Sunset Park

[1:16:44] right near the

[1:16:46] 36th Street

[1:16:47] end stop

Dan McCoy

[1:16:48] let us move

[1:16:49] along

[1:16:50] to

[1:16:51] advertisements

[1:16:52] from our

[1:16:53] sponsors

[1:16:53] we have

[1:16:54] them

[1:16:54] they're very kind

[1:16:55] well

[1:16:56] I mean they pay us

[1:16:57] but

[1:16:58] we have a

[1:16:59] nice symbiotic

[1:17:00] relationship

[1:17:00] where we

[1:17:01] talk about

[1:17:02] their great products

[1:17:03] and they give us money

[1:17:04] and let me talk about

[1:17:05] one great product

[1:17:06] which is

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[1:17:09] a product

[1:17:11] that you know

[1:17:13] perhaps

[1:17:13] the usage

[1:17:15] of which

[1:17:15] makes it

[1:17:17] difficult

[1:17:17] to

[1:17:18] segue

[1:17:19] into ads

[1:17:20] but makes

[1:17:20] my life

[1:17:21] better

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:21] I just love

[1:17:22] I love that you were like

[1:17:23] they give us money

[1:17:24] and we talk about

[1:17:25] their products

[1:17:25] and then we go into

[1:17:26] the product that is

[1:17:26] maybe the most

[1:17:27] personal to you

Dan McCoy

[1:17:28] our show today

[1:17:31] is sponsored

[1:17:32] by microdose gummies

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:34] these morons

[1:17:35] give us money

[1:17:36] and then we talk

[1:17:36] about them

[1:17:36] anyway so my mom

[1:17:37] says

Dan McCoy

[1:17:38] no no

[1:17:41] they're great

[1:17:42] oh boy

[1:17:43] what trouble

[1:17:44] am I getting us into

[1:17:45] our show today

[1:17:46] is sponsored by

[1:17:48] deliver perfect

[1:17:49] entry level doses

[1:17:50] of THC

[1:17:50] that help you feel

[1:17:51] just the right amount

[1:17:52] of good

[1:17:52] maybe

[1:17:55] you've had a stressful day

[1:17:56] like Stuart

[1:17:58] so often

[1:17:59] does

[1:18:00] and

[1:18:01] you need to

[1:18:02] turn off your brain

[1:18:03] yeah just need to

[1:18:03] calm down

[1:18:04] wind down

[1:18:04] take a gummy

[1:18:06] watch

[1:18:07] rickio

[1:18:08] the story

[1:18:08] of ricky

[1:18:08] and drift

[1:18:09] off to sleep

[1:18:10] perhaps that

[1:18:10] sounds like

[1:18:11] a beautiful

[1:18:11] day to you

[1:18:12] you can be

[1:18:12] Stuart

[1:18:12] in your

[1:18:13] home

[1:18:13] with these

[1:18:16] now just for the

[1:18:16] record

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:17] loomilabs

[1:18:17] would like us

[1:18:18] to talk about

[1:18:19] loomilabs

[1:18:20] has no opinion

[1:18:20] on rickio

[1:18:21] the story

[1:18:21] of ricky

[1:18:22] it's not

[1:18:22] necessary

[1:18:22] for the use

[1:18:23] of their

[1:18:23] product

[1:18:24] although

[1:18:24] now I'm

[1:18:25] rethinking

[1:18:25] our sponsorship

Dan McCoy

[1:18:26] that

[1:18:27] it's another

[1:18:28] symbiotic

[1:18:29] I think

[1:18:30] that rickio

[1:18:31] and

[1:18:32] enhance one another

[1:18:34] but

[1:18:34] microdose

[1:18:36] is available

[1:18:37] nationwide

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[1:18:38] about microdosing

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[1:18:46] first order

[1:18:47] links can be

[1:18:48] found in the

[1:18:48] show's description

[1:18:49] but again

[1:18:50] that is

[1:18:52] code

[1:18:52] FLOP

[1:18:53] I had

[1:18:53] someone

[1:18:55] mildly

[1:18:56] confused

[1:18:57] the other

[1:18:58] day

[1:18:58] saying that

[1:19:00] slash

[1:19:01] FLOP

[1:19:01] directs you

[1:19:02] to nowhere

[1:19:03] that's

[1:19:04] yeah

[1:19:04] that's

[1:19:05] true

[1:19:05] it doesn't

[1:19:06] that's a

[1:19:06] different

[1:19:06] sponsor

[1:19:07] there's no

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[1:19:09] just go to

[1:19:10] and when they

[1:19:11] ask you for an

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[1:19:12] use

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Stuart Wellington

[1:19:14] hey guys

[1:19:16] you all heard of

[1:19:16] the internet

[1:19:17] because I have

[1:19:18] and one of the

[1:19:18] best parts of

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[1:19:19] are websites

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[1:19:26] up till now

[1:19:26] where's the line

[1:19:27] I don't miss

[1:19:28] and

[1:19:29] our sponsor

[1:19:31] today is

[1:19:31] Squarespace

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[1:20:05] we're

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[1:20:06] we will

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[1:20:07] the stuff

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[1:20:21] have to

[1:20:22] be like

[1:20:22] steward

[1:20:22] and dan

[1:20:23] hurriedly

[1:20:23] messaging

[1:20:24] each other

[1:20:24] pictures

[1:20:25] so we

[1:20:25] can all

[1:20:25] share

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[1:20:26] our

[1:20:26] various

[1:20:27] socials

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[1:20:28] all in

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[1:20:45] first purchase

[1:20:45] of a

[1:20:46] website

[1:20:46] or

[1:20:47] domain

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:48] hey guys

[1:20:49] we want

[1:20:49] one last

[1:20:50] thing we

[1:20:50] want to

[1:20:50] tell you

[1:20:50] about

[1:20:51] i mentioned

[1:20:51] at the

[1:20:51] top of

[1:20:52] the show

[1:20:52] and i'm

[1:20:52] going to

[1:20:52] mention it

[1:20:53] now

[1:20:53] slightly

[1:20:53] longer

[1:20:54] that's

[1:20:54] right

[1:20:54] the flop

[1:20:55] house

[1:20:55] is once

[1:20:56] again

[1:20:56] coming

[1:20:56] right

[1:20:56] to

[1:20:57] your

[1:20:57] door

[1:20:57] if

[1:20:58] you

[1:20:58] live

[1:20:59] at the

[1:20:59] bell

[1:20:59] house

[1:21:00] in

[1:21:00] Brooklyn

[1:21:00] New

[1:21:01] York

[1:21:01] we're

[1:21:01] going

[1:21:01] to

[1:21:01] be

[1:21:01] there

[1:21:02] Sunday

[1:21:02] April

[1:21:03] 2nd

[1:21:03] it's

[1:21:03] our

[1:21:04] first

[1:21:04] live

[1:21:04] show

[1:21:04] in a

[1:21:04] while

[1:21:04] Sunday

[1:21:05] April

[1:21:05] 2nd

[1:21:06] 730

[1:21:06] p.m.

[1:21:07] we're

[1:21:07] going to

[1:21:07] be

[1:21:07] talking

[1:21:07] about

[1:21:08] Battlefield

[1:21:08] Earth

[1:21:09] that's

[1:21:09] right

[1:21:09] it's

[1:21:09] a

[1:21:10] classic

[1:21:10] bad

[1:21:11] movie

[1:21:11] we're

[1:21:11] going

[1:21:11] to

[1:21:11] talk

[1:21:12] about

[1:21:12] it

[1:21:12] and

[1:21:12] because

[1:21:12] it's

[1:21:12] a live

[1:21:13] show

[1:21:13] it means

[1:21:13] we're

[1:21:13] not

[1:21:14] just

[1:21:14] sitting

[1:21:14] behind

[1:21:14] a

[1:21:15] table

[1:21:15] talking

[1:21:15] about

[1:21:15] a

[1:21:15] movie

[1:21:15] we'll

[1:21:16] also

[1:21:16] be

[1:21:16] standing

[1:21:17] up

[1:21:17] and

[1:21:17] talking

[1:21:17] to

[1:21:18] you

[1:21:18] first

[1:21:18] in

[1:21:19] the

[1:21:19] form

[1:21:19] of

[1:21:19] presentations

[1:21:20] that

[1:21:20] you'll

[1:21:20] only

[1:21:21] see

[1:21:21] if

[1:21:21] you

[1:21:21] go

[1:21:21] to

[1:21:21] the

[1:21:21] show

[1:21:22] each

[1:21:22] of

[1:21:22] us

[1:21:22] will

[1:21:22] do

[1:21:23] as

[1:21:23] always

[1:21:23] an

[1:21:23] original

[1:21:23] PowerPoint

[1:21:24] presentation

[1:21:24] those are

[1:21:25] very funny

[1:21:25] people like

[1:21:25] them

[1:21:26] they're

[1:21:26] really

[1:21:26] fun

[1:21:26] I know

[1:21:27] what my

[1:21:27] presentation

[1:21:28] is going to be about

[1:21:28] I think you're going to like it

[1:21:29] and

[1:21:30] Dan do you know what yours is going to be about?

Dan McCoy

[1:21:32] I don't I have an idea for part of it

[1:21:34] for an element

[1:21:35] I gotta say like

[1:21:36] maybe it's just because it's something different than what we normally do on the show

[1:21:40] I really love doing these

[1:21:41] presentations

[1:21:42] it's kind of a pain to put the PowerPoint together

[1:21:44] as any work is

[1:21:47] any effort but it all pays off and

[1:21:48] just a lot of fun on stage

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:50] I mean and

[1:21:51] it's super fun

[1:21:52] and anyone who saw our Masters of the Universe live remote show

[1:21:55] saw Dan's Mustards of the Universe presentation

[1:21:57] give you a taste of how beautiful it can be

[1:21:59] so then we're going to talk about the movie

[1:22:01] and then we're going to take questions and answers from you the audience

[1:22:03] so it's Sunday April 2nd 7.30pm in Brooklyn at the Bell House

[1:22:07] our old stomping grounds

[1:22:08] talking Battlefield Earth

[1:22:10] buy tickets now

[1:22:11] they're at www.thebellhouseny.com

[1:22:15] and look up in the calendar

[1:22:16] and we'll be there

[1:22:17] it's going to be great

[1:22:18] and it's happening right before Passover

[1:22:19] so I'm going to be in that Passover spirit

[1:22:21] I'm going to be extra excited

Dan McCoy

[1:22:23] yeah

[1:22:24] that you're not going to have plagues visited upon you

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:28] yeah I mean I would be the one visiting the plagues on others

[1:22:31] I don't know if you're familiar with how the Jews do in that story

[1:22:33] but it's you know

[1:22:34] the plagues were on our behalf

[1:22:37] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:22:37] yeah well I mean

[1:22:39] but there's a middleman

[1:22:40] I mean

[1:22:41] yeah they're for you

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:44] but you didn't ask for the plagues per se

[1:22:47] no that's not true

[1:22:47] it's not what we asked to be free from the pharaoh

[1:22:49] and God decided that

[1:22:51] the quickest way to do that

[1:22:52] would be to throw a bunch of frogs and blood and stuff

[1:22:54] at the pharaoh

[1:22:55] yeah sure

Dan McCoy

[1:22:55] pull a PT Anderson

[1:22:58] and throw some frogs at the problem

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:59] that was what it was

[1:23:00] that God had seen Magnolia

[1:23:01] and was like

[1:23:02] that's what I should do

[1:23:03] to free the Hebrews

[1:23:04] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:23:04] are we ready to move on

[1:23:07] or do you have anything else Elliot

[1:23:08] no that's all

[1:23:09] I could talk about

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:10] Maniac of New York

[1:23:11] don't call it a comeback number one

[1:23:13] which is in comic stores now

[1:23:14] but

[1:23:14] good issue

[1:23:15] you liked it

[1:23:16] thank you

[1:23:17] it might be sold out by now

[1:23:18] but stay tuned

[1:23:18] because issue two is going to come out too

Dan McCoy

[1:23:20] all right

[1:23:21] well then we'll move along

[1:23:22] to letters from listeners

[1:23:23] like you

[1:23:24] this first letter

[1:23:25] is from Russell

[1:23:26] last name withheld

[1:23:27] uh oh

[1:23:30] today mates

[1:23:31] I wanted to tell you about the movie

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:32] Pokeface

[1:23:34] I hope you like it

[1:23:34] can't wait to hear your thoughts

[1:23:36] cheers and kisses

[1:23:37] big fan

Dan McCoy

[1:23:38] he's trying to get you to go back to the theaters

[1:23:44] to watch Pokeface

[1:23:45] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:46] I mean I gotta tell you

[1:23:47] as much as people make fun of that

[1:23:49] that little video

[1:23:49] it was so

[1:23:50] it was so

[1:23:51] I was so happy to see it

[1:23:52] after the 25 minutes of trailers

[1:23:54] that were before my screening of Megan

[1:23:56] that I went to

[1:23:56] that I was like

[1:23:57] oh this tells me that it's gonna be

[1:23:59] the movie's gonna start soon

[1:24:00] good

Dan McCoy

[1:24:00] yeah

[1:24:01] uh okay

[1:24:02] well this is from Russell

[1:24:03] who writes

[1:24:04] which romantic comedy

[1:24:05] do you think goes furthest

[1:24:06] to depict a really fucked up

[1:24:08] unhealthy relationship

[1:24:09] as charming and sweet

[1:24:11] is it simply love actually

[1:24:13] or is it something

[1:24:14] slightly subtler

[1:24:15] like failure to launch

[1:24:16] stay safe and awesome

[1:24:18] Russell

[1:24:19] uh

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:19] I feel like we can't

[1:24:21] like love actually

[1:24:22] is filled with so many

[1:24:23] bad examples of relationships

[1:24:24] yeah

[1:24:25] we should probably take that one

[1:24:25] off the table right

Dan McCoy

[1:24:26] yeah

[1:24:27] it's throwing off the curve

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:28] yeah

[1:24:29] it throws off the curve

Dan McCoy

[1:24:30] yeah

[1:24:30] although I will say that

[1:24:31] so

[1:24:33] Audrey always likes to know

[1:24:34] what the questions are

[1:24:35] she's curious

[1:24:36] she's curious like a cat

[1:24:37] um

[1:24:38] and she was wondering

[1:24:40] Dana's married to a cat

[1:24:40] yeah

[1:24:41] I'm married to a cat

[1:24:42] I married a cat

[1:24:43] uh

[1:24:44] coming this fall

[1:24:45] um

[1:24:46] but we

[1:24:48] we were hard pressed

[1:24:49] to find

[1:24:49] we were harder pressed

[1:24:50] to find a

[1:24:51] rom-com

[1:24:52] that shows

[1:24:53] like a

[1:24:54] good

[1:24:54] this is exactly

[1:24:55] what I was gonna say

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:56] there is one

[1:24:56] it's called

[1:24:57] Pretty Woman

[1:24:57] uh

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:58] it's about

[1:25:00] it's about a

[1:25:00] generous

[1:25:01] gray haired daddy

[1:25:02] I mean

[1:25:03] it makes sense to me

[1:25:04] who doesn't mind

[1:25:05] that his

[1:25:05] his love interest

[1:25:06] has a career

[1:25:07] outside of their

[1:25:09] thank you

[1:25:10] but it's

[1:25:11] it's true

[1:25:11] I started researching this

[1:25:12] and I was like

[1:25:13] I had

[1:25:14] I was like

[1:25:14] I'm starting to think

[1:25:15] that there aren't

[1:25:16] any romantic comedies

[1:25:17] that don't have toxic

[1:25:18] unhealthy relationships

[1:25:19] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:25:19] yeah I think

[1:25:20] I think that a large part

[1:25:21] of it is the

[1:25:22] the comedy comes from

[1:25:25] like mishaps

[1:25:26] in the relationships

[1:25:26] and and like

[1:25:27] like cute bickering

[1:25:29] and a lot of those things

[1:25:32] the mishaps

[1:25:32] and the cute bickering

[1:25:33] when transferred to real life

[1:25:35] would be pretty unpleasant

[1:25:36] like

[1:25:37] well also

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:37] and the way relationships

[1:25:38] tend to work in life

[1:25:39] not always

[1:25:40] but tender work is

[1:25:40] you meet someone

[1:25:41] there's a mutual attraction

[1:25:43] you continue to get to know them

[1:25:44] you

[1:25:45] you fault

[1:25:45] you

[1:25:45] a relationship grows

[1:25:47] and that's it

[1:25:48] whereas movies

[1:25:48] are all about

[1:25:49] there's gotta be

[1:25:51] like

[1:25:51] someone wants someone else

[1:25:53] and there's an arc to the plot

[1:25:54] and they've gotta

[1:25:54] it's a challenge

[1:25:55] they've gotta overcome

[1:25:55] or something's keeping them apart

[1:25:57] and usually

[1:25:58] it's

[1:25:58] the easiest version of that

[1:26:00] is just that they're already

[1:26:00] in relationships or whatever

[1:26:01] like

[1:26:02] an actual relationship

[1:26:03] does not have like

[1:26:03] a dramatically interesting arc

[1:26:05] which is why they're wonderful

[1:26:06] like it's one of the things

[1:26:07] that makes them so good

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:08] you're saying

[1:26:09] all rom-coms are bad

[1:26:10] so let me see

[1:26:11] the big sick

[1:26:13] huh

[1:26:13] somebody

[1:26:14] uh

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:16] what

[1:26:16] I mean I'm not saying

[1:26:17] they're bad movies

[1:26:18] but even that like

[1:26:19] even if that is

[1:26:20] somewhat based in reality

[1:26:21] the idea that like

[1:26:22] isn't it adorable

[1:26:23] how you kind of pretended

[1:26:25] you were my boyfriend

[1:26:25] while I was in the hospital

[1:26:26] I mean it's the same

[1:26:27] to be honest

[1:26:28] it's just a real life version

[1:26:29] of

[1:26:29] while you were sleeping

[1:26:31] while you were sleeping

[1:26:31] uh huh

[1:26:32] I just watched that

[1:26:33] what a Chicago movie

[1:26:34] but even then it's like

[1:26:35] oh I found the man of my dreams

[1:26:36] and all I had to do

[1:26:37] was pretend that his comatose brother

[1:26:38] was my fiance

[1:26:39] like it's

[1:26:40] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:26:40] yeah

[1:26:41] we're talking

[1:26:42] we're going through

[1:26:43] like okay

[1:26:43] four weddings and a funeral

[1:26:45] like they hook up

[1:26:46] a couple times

[1:26:46] but she has a secret

[1:26:48] like fiance

[1:26:49] and then like

[1:26:51] the third wedding

[1:26:52] is hers

[1:26:54] that breaks up

[1:26:55] and like

[1:26:55] but by that time

[1:26:57] he's like involved

[1:26:58] in like a sham

[1:26:59] like almost marriage

[1:27:00] like the fourth wedding

[1:27:01] is getting like

[1:27:02] and that breaks up

[1:27:03] and like this sounds horrible

[1:27:04] we're like okay

[1:27:05] uh

[1:27:06] sleepless in Seattle

[1:27:07] like Meg Ryan

[1:27:08] basically like

[1:27:09] kind of stalks a guy

[1:27:10] and like stalks him

[1:27:12] and like

[1:27:13] the thing that makes him

[1:27:14] like her the perfect woman

[1:27:16] is that she peels an apple

[1:27:17] like

[1:27:18] Tom Hanks is dead

[1:27:19] wife

[1:27:20] like that's not something

[1:27:20] to build a relationship on

[1:27:23] yeah what is this

[1:27:24] birth with Nicole Kidman

[1:27:25] come on

[1:27:25] never been kissed

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:26] she's pretending

[1:27:27] to be a high schooler

[1:27:29] or even

[1:27:30] if you go back

[1:27:30] and it doesn't matter

[1:27:31] how far back you

[1:27:31] because you go to like

[1:27:32] the shop around the corner

[1:27:33] where the whole idea

[1:27:34] is that they hate each other

[1:27:35] during the day

[1:27:36] but they're pen pals

[1:27:36] who love each other

[1:27:37] and they

[1:27:38] and you know

[1:27:39] it's

[1:27:39] there's no

[1:27:41] I mean I love

[1:27:42] His Girl Friday

Dan McCoy

[1:27:43] but it's all about

[1:27:44] manipulation

[1:27:45] and like

[1:27:46] I mean I don't even

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:46] I wouldn't necessarily

[1:27:47] call that a romantic comedy

[1:27:48] that's a

[1:27:49] because

[1:27:49] there's a romance in it

[1:27:50] but it is a woman

[1:27:51] being

[1:27:51] being essentially

[1:27:53] gaslit

[1:27:53] by the man

[1:27:54] and her wife

Dan McCoy

[1:27:54] because she's too

[1:27:55] valuable

[1:27:56] a reporter

[1:27:57] to let go

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:58] not even because

[1:27:58] he loves her that much

[1:27:59] but just because

[1:28:00] she's just too good

[1:28:01] to leave employment

[1:28:02] at the newspaper

[1:28:02] but once again

[1:28:03] a man who doesn't care

[1:28:04] that his wife

[1:28:05] that his love interest

[1:28:06] has a career

[1:28:06] so you know

[1:28:07] that's a positive thing

[1:28:08] thanks for selling it

Dan McCoy

[1:28:09] I will say

[1:28:10] as is often the case

[1:28:12] maybe don't take

[1:28:13] your life lessons

[1:28:14] from the movies

[1:28:16] yeah

[1:28:16] never

[1:28:16] here's the other

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:19] thing I was going to say

[1:28:20] about rom-coms

[1:28:21] before we go

[1:28:21] it's similar

[1:28:22] is that

[1:28:23] rom-coms teach you

[1:28:24] to never take no

[1:28:25] for an answer

[1:28:26] from a perspective

[1:28:27] love interest

[1:28:27] which is to

[1:28:28] take no for an answer

[1:28:29] go find someone else

[1:28:30] don't convince them

[1:28:32] that they should love you

[1:28:32] that's not how love works

[1:28:33] like ugh

[1:28:34] terrible

Dan McCoy

[1:28:35] Phil Lasting withheld writes

[1:28:37] dear Dan Stewart and Elliot

[1:28:38] I've been listening

[1:28:39] to the Flophouse

[1:28:39] for years now

[1:28:40] thank you

[1:28:41] and one of my favorite

[1:28:42] reoccurring joke structures

[1:28:44] is the air bud

[1:28:45] there's no rule

[1:28:46] that says a dog

[1:28:47] can't play basketball riff

[1:28:49] it turns out

[1:28:50] that that line

[1:28:51] and indeed

[1:28:51] the whole plot

[1:28:52] of the movie

[1:28:52] air bud

[1:28:53] is a sham

[1:28:54] I was watching

[1:28:55] wait wait

[1:28:56] it's not based

[1:28:56] on a true story

[1:28:57] there's wait

[1:28:59] there's no dog in it

[1:29:00] where's this gonna go

[1:29:02] I was watching

[1:29:03] old Looney Tunes episodes

[1:29:04] on HBO Max

[1:29:05] the other night

[1:29:07] well you can

[1:29:07] rest in peace

[1:29:08] enjoy it while it's there

[1:29:11] ugh

[1:29:12] what a terrible

[1:29:13] anyway

[1:29:13] and came across

[1:29:14] a 1954 episode

[1:29:16] I'd never seen before

[1:29:17] called

[1:29:18] Gone Batty

[1:29:19] in it

[1:29:20] an underdog baseball team

[1:29:22] is getting clobbered

[1:29:23] by their opponents

[1:29:23] and everyone on the team

[1:29:24] is struck out

[1:29:25] rather than forfeit the game

[1:29:27] the team sends in their mascot

[1:29:28] a live elephant

[1:29:29] when the opposing team

[1:29:31] complains

[1:29:31] the referee pulls out

[1:29:32] a rule book

[1:29:33] and declares

[1:29:33] there's nothing

[1:29:34] in the rule book

[1:29:35] that says an elephant

[1:29:36] elephant can't play baseball

[1:29:38] the rat bastard

[1:29:40] writers of Air Bud

[1:29:41] fully ripped off

[1:29:42] this Looney Tunes episode

[1:29:43] with a plot

[1:29:44] of their 90s children's movie

[1:29:46] can't believe they did it

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:47] my question

[1:29:48] and they would have

[1:29:48] gotten away with it too

[1:29:49] if not for Philip

Dan McCoy

[1:29:50] my question to the three of you

[1:29:51] is what are the most

[1:29:52] egregious examples

[1:29:53] that you can remember

[1:29:54] of movies just wholesale

[1:29:55] stealing major plot

[1:29:57] plot points

[1:29:57] from older films

[1:29:58] plot testically yours

[1:30:00] Phil last name withheld

[1:30:01] the first thing

[1:30:02] that came to my mind

[1:30:03] was not egregious

[1:30:04] because they like

[1:30:04] hang a lampshade on it

[1:30:06] they call it out

[1:30:07] but I like how

[1:30:09] in office space

[1:30:11] they're just like

[1:30:12] yeah we're just

[1:30:12] running the scam

[1:30:13] from Superman 3

[1:30:15] where they

[1:30:16] take all the

[1:30:17] rounded up

[1:30:17] rounded down pennies

[1:30:19] and deposit them

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:20] yeah I mean if we're

[1:30:21] and if we're talking

[1:30:21] about rom-coms

[1:30:23] we can talk about

[1:30:23] 10 things I hate

[1:30:24] about you

[1:30:25] that just rips

[1:30:26] off Shakespeare

[1:30:26] right

[1:30:27] here's the thing

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:29] here's the thing

[1:30:29] I wanted some

[1:30:30] clarification from Phil

[1:30:31] do they mean

[1:30:32] stealing a whole plot

[1:30:34] which is

[1:30:35] I would say

[1:30:36] a plot of a good movie

[1:30:37] I think a plot point

[1:30:39] or plot points

[1:30:40] because I

[1:30:40] again researching this

[1:30:42] I was like

[1:30:42] sometimes I'll go online

[1:30:43] I'll research just to

[1:30:44] create ideas in my head

[1:30:45] and there are things

[1:30:46] that were like

[1:30:46] these great movies

[1:30:47] were stolen from other movies

[1:30:48] and it'd be like

[1:30:49] Taxi Driver

[1:30:50] and The Searchers

[1:30:51] and it's like

[1:30:51] okay well there's

[1:30:52] there's a difference

[1:30:52] between a movie

[1:30:53] being inspired by

[1:30:55] and taking the framework

[1:30:56] of another movie

[1:30:57] or the themes

[1:30:58] of another movie

[1:30:58] and reinterpreting it

[1:30:59] that's how art works

[1:31:00] like there's

[1:31:00] the same way

[1:31:01] that there are

[1:31:02] there are multiple

[1:31:03] paintings

[1:31:03] that are takes

[1:31:04] on pre-existing

[1:31:05] paintings

[1:31:05] you know

[1:31:06] so or the

[1:31:06] I mean even in cases

[1:31:07] where one of them

[1:31:08] I saw was

[1:31:09] Yojimbo

[1:31:09] and A Fistful of Dollars

[1:31:11] which the movie

[1:31:12] was like

[1:31:12] that's why

[1:31:13] Akira Kurosawa

[1:31:13] wrote a letter

[1:31:14] to Sergio Leone

[1:31:14] saying

[1:31:15] you made a good movie

[1:31:16] but it's my movie

[1:31:16] like that was my movie

[1:31:17] and you just remade it

[1:31:19] but the

[1:31:20] so I wonder if there's

[1:31:21] there's something

[1:31:22] about stealing plot points

[1:31:23] and Dan's not going

[1:31:24] to be happy with me

[1:31:24] but the one that came

[1:31:25] to mind right off the bat

[1:31:26] was that Tobey Maguire

[1:31:28] scene in Babylon

[1:31:28] where I was like

[1:31:30] wow they've got the chutzpah

[1:31:31] to rip off the Alfred Molina

[1:31:32] scene in Boogie Nights

[1:31:33] a movie that is not old enough

[1:31:35] for them to just be like

[1:31:36] eh nobody's going to realize

[1:31:37] we're just taking this

[1:31:38] from another movie

Dan McCoy

[1:31:38] you know

[1:31:39] I mean no it's true

[1:31:40] but on the other hand

[1:31:42] they did add an alligator

[1:31:43] to it

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:44] that's true

[1:31:44] they did

[1:31:45] and they added an alligator

[1:31:46] that's fair

[1:31:47] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:31:47] that's the rule

[1:31:48] if you add an alligator

[1:31:49] you can get away with anything

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:50] I don't know if you heard

[1:31:51] when they were making Boogie Nights

[1:31:53] they're like

[1:31:53] should we have an alligator here

[1:31:54] and they're like

[1:31:55] Alfred's insisting

[1:31:56] we have this alligator

[1:31:57] in the scene

[1:31:58] but they ended up

[1:31:58] cutting it

[1:31:58] just due to cost reasons

[1:31:59] because they were going to

[1:32:00] use this complicated

[1:32:01] animatronic alligator

[1:32:03] that wears sunglasses

[1:32:04] it was just too expensive

[1:32:07] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:07] yeah and it was repurposed

[1:32:09] for Lyle Lyle Crocodile

[1:32:10] many years later

[1:32:10] yeah

[1:32:11] yeah

[1:32:11] they said

[1:32:13] we have to make a movie

[1:32:13] using only props

[1:32:14] that only exist

[1:32:15] in the warehouse

[1:32:16] right now

[1:32:17] oh this is animatronic

[1:32:18] alligators

[1:32:18] has never been used

[1:32:19] property of PTA

[1:32:21] what does that mean

Dan McCoy

[1:32:22] do you have any

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:24] yeah I don't know

[1:32:25] like

[1:32:27] like The Raid and Dread

[1:32:28] who knows

[1:32:29] they're both great movies

[1:32:30] they're very similar

[1:32:31] watch them both

[1:32:32] they're awesome

[1:32:33] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:32:33] okay

[1:32:35] well it seems

[1:32:36] like

[1:32:37] we're running out of steam

[1:32:38] on this letter

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:39] let's roll right in

[1:32:41] and the other one

[1:32:41] that came to mind

[1:32:42] was except

[1:32:43] is that movie

[1:32:43] The Island

[1:32:44] which was

[1:32:44] The Clonus

[1:32:46] which was so sued

[1:32:47] by the makers of parts

[1:32:48] The Clonus Horror

[1:32:48] because it was

[1:32:49] such a rip off of it

[1:32:50] but again

[1:32:52] that's more of a like

[1:32:53] I want to think about this

[1:32:55] again for the future

[1:32:56] like movies that

[1:32:56] steal like a plot point

[1:32:59] oh wait

[1:32:59] I saw them do this

[1:33:00] in this other movie

[1:33:01] you know

[1:33:01] yeah

[1:33:01] I know it exists

Dan McCoy

[1:33:03] that does often feel

[1:33:05] more

[1:33:05] if you take a whole plot

[1:33:07] you have to reinvent it

[1:33:08] or else people

[1:33:08] are just gonna

[1:33:09] say like

[1:33:10] oh this is just

[1:33:10] the same thing

[1:33:11] whereas

[1:33:11] it does sometimes

[1:33:13] weirdly feel more egregious

[1:33:14] if it's just a plot point

[1:33:15] because

[1:33:16] people will borrow a thing

[1:33:18] and you're just like

[1:33:18] well I've seen this before

[1:33:19] this way

[1:33:20] couldn't you have done it

[1:33:21] a different way

[1:33:22] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:23] there's a movie called

[1:33:24] there's a Japanese samurai movie

[1:33:26] called Kill

[1:33:26] that there's one point

[1:33:28] where I was like

[1:33:28] wait a minute

[1:33:29] I saw this movie before

[1:33:31] but it's

[1:33:31] I've seen people get killed

Dan McCoy

[1:33:32] in movies

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:33] they take the plot

[1:33:35] from a movie called

[1:33:35] Three Outlaw Samurai

[1:33:37] I think it was

[1:33:37] and they just kind of

[1:33:38] insert it for a couple scenes

[1:33:39] into that movie

[1:33:40] and have the main character

[1:33:41] of Kill get involved

[1:33:42] and there's part of me

[1:33:42] that's like

[1:33:43] that's pretty funny

[1:33:44] like if you're making

[1:33:45] if you're making a movie

[1:33:46] and you just take

[1:33:47] the plot of a recent movie

[1:33:49] and just kind of

[1:33:49] stick it in your movie

[1:33:50] and have your character

[1:33:51] screw it up

[1:33:52] like that's

[1:33:52] that's a funny way

[1:33:53] to do it

Dan McCoy

[1:33:53] Elliot

[1:33:53] I now realize

[1:33:55] that when you say

[1:33:55] the main character

[1:33:56] of Kill

[1:33:56] you just meant

[1:33:58] like the main character

[1:33:59] who is in the movie Kill

[1:34:01] but for half a second

[1:34:02] I thought you were saying

[1:34:03] that the main character

[1:34:04] is called Kill

[1:34:05] like

[1:34:06] the main character

[1:34:07] of Kill

[1:34:08] did this thing

[1:34:09] yeah yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:10] Captain Kill

[1:34:11] shows up

Dan McCoy

[1:34:11] okay

[1:34:12] recommendations

[1:34:14] movies that we saw

[1:34:16] enjoyed

[1:34:17] I'm gonna recommend

[1:34:18] do we enjoy movies

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:19] I'm actually gonna jump in

[1:34:21] because Dan and I

[1:34:21] before we get to

[1:34:22] individual recommendations

[1:34:23] I just want to

[1:34:25] throw out

[1:34:26] a group recommendation

[1:34:28] Dan and I

[1:34:28] got the opportunity

[1:34:29] to see a

[1:34:31] special secret screening

[1:34:32] of the movie

[1:34:33] The People's Joker

[1:34:34] a movie that was

[1:34:37] what was it

[1:34:38] Toronto

[1:34:38] it played at TIFF

[1:34:39] yeah it played once

[1:34:40] and then was pulled

[1:34:41] then got pulled

[1:34:42] and hit with a bunch

[1:34:43] of legal bullshit

[1:34:44] from Warner Brothers

[1:34:45] and so we were both

[1:34:47] when we got the opportunity

[1:34:48] to see it

[1:34:49] thanks to

[1:34:49] Flophouse listener

[1:34:50] Peter

[1:34:50] you know

[1:34:51] you know who you are

[1:34:52] it was

[1:34:54] I really didn't know

[1:34:55] what to expect

[1:34:56] but I was really excited

[1:34:57] to see it

[1:34:57] because you know

[1:34:57] it's one of these

[1:34:58] like movies

[1:34:59] that you can't really see

[1:35:00] and there was a lot

[1:35:01] of positive buzz

[1:35:01] and I feel like

[1:35:02] the positive buzz

[1:35:03] did not prepare me

[1:35:05] for really how good

[1:35:05] it was

[1:35:06] it has

[1:35:08] kind of like a manic

[1:35:09] almost Tim and Eric

[1:35:11] energy

[1:35:11] and also

[1:35:13] the energy

[1:35:14] from being a movie

[1:35:15] made by a bunch

[1:35:16] of talented weirdos

[1:35:17] who kind of collectively

[1:35:18] put this thing together

[1:35:19] all under the helmsmanship

[1:35:21] I'm sure

[1:35:22] of Vera Drew

[1:35:23] the People's Joker

[1:35:24] and it manages to also

[1:35:26] despite how like

[1:35:27] wacky and silly it is

[1:35:29] it manages to also be

[1:35:30] like a very

[1:35:32] like

[1:35:32] touching narrative

[1:35:33] yeah touching like

[1:35:35] emotional

[1:35:35] queer coming of age story

[1:35:38] and it was really great

[1:35:41] it's crazy to me

[1:35:42] that Warner Brothers

[1:35:42] doesn't just buy it

[1:35:44] and put it on HBO Max

Dan McCoy

[1:35:45] yeah

[1:35:46] and it's

[1:35:46] well

[1:35:46] it's mapped so cleverly

[1:35:48] to

[1:35:49] you know

[1:35:52] years and years

[1:35:53] of different iterations

[1:35:54] of Batman

[1:35:55] like it is both

[1:35:55] this like

[1:35:57] heartfelt

[1:35:58] queer coming of age

[1:36:00] comedy

[1:36:00] and it is like

[1:36:02] like a nerdy

[1:36:04] movie too

[1:36:05] and it's

[1:36:06] yeah

[1:36:06] an examination

[1:36:07] of like

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:07] on screen Batman

[1:36:09] through the years

Dan McCoy

[1:36:10] yeah

[1:36:10] it's a very interesting

[1:36:11] movie and a lot of fun

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:12] but does it have the

[1:36:13] da da da da da da

Dan McCoy

[1:36:15] hey

[1:36:15] da da da da da

[1:36:17] song in it

[1:36:18] uh

[1:36:19] I don't

[1:36:20] wait

[1:36:21] what's

[1:36:21] wait

[1:36:21] he's talking about

[1:36:22] the

[1:36:23] the

[1:36:23] Gary Glitter

[1:36:24] Joker

[1:36:25] dancing down the stairs

[1:36:27] oh

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:27] that was

[1:36:28] this

[1:36:29] so I hadn't seen

[1:36:29] the movie Joker yet

[1:36:30] but I saw on Twitter

[1:36:31] someone like

[1:36:33] posting that scene

[1:36:34] and saying like

[1:36:35] oh one of the most

[1:36:35] glorious moments in film

[1:36:36] but I never played it

[1:36:37] with the sound on

[1:36:38] and then I finally

[1:36:39] played it with the sound on

[1:36:40] once

[1:36:40] and that song played

[1:36:42] oh so this is a joke

[1:36:43] like there's no way

[1:36:44] they use that song

[1:36:44] in this moment in the movie

[1:36:45] that would be stupid

[1:36:46] and then I watched the movie

[1:36:47] what

[1:36:48] I thought that was a parody

[1:36:50] I thought it was like

[1:36:52] when they take the dance scene

[1:36:54] in Back to the Future

[1:36:54] and they have him

[1:36:55] playing death metal

[1:36:56] like I thought that's what it was

[1:36:57] yeah

[1:36:57] but I really hope to see

[1:36:59] the People's Joker

[1:36:59] I've heard nothing

[1:37:00] we can think about it

[1:37:01] yeah

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:01] I'm really hoping

[1:37:02] if you have an opportunity

[1:37:03] to see it

[1:37:04] I highly recommend

[1:37:05] checking that

[1:37:06] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:37:06] as recommendations go

[1:37:08] maybe not the most useful one

[1:37:09] right now

[1:37:10] because you probably can't see it

[1:37:11] but what little weight

[1:37:14] the flop house has

[1:37:15] like

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:15] we say it falls under

[1:37:17] fair use and parody

[1:37:18] so it should be

[1:37:19] viewable

[1:37:20] so

[1:37:20] take that

[1:37:21] lawyers

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:22] yep

[1:37:23] as someone

[1:37:24] as someone who

[1:37:24] owns a certain

[1:37:25] certain amounts of IP myself

[1:37:27] I am on the fence about it

[1:37:29] but

[1:37:29] as a

[1:37:30] as a

[1:37:30] as a movie goer

[1:37:31] I'm saying

[1:37:32] release that film

[1:37:32] as someone who

[1:37:33] owns the rights to a comic book character

[1:37:35] I'm saying

[1:37:35] I want to learn more about the case

[1:37:37] but you know

[1:37:37] that's me being selfish

Dan McCoy

[1:37:39] um

[1:37:40] okay

[1:37:40] so back to

[1:37:42] other recommendations

[1:37:43] back to life

[1:37:44] back to reality

[1:37:44] yeah

[1:37:45] another film that

[1:37:46] Stuart and I saw

[1:37:47] together

[1:37:47] sorry Elliot

[1:37:49] I'm

[1:37:49] I feel like we're making you

[1:37:50] real jealous now

[1:37:51] yeah

[1:37:52] we went out

[1:37:53] I wasn't ready to be this jelly

[1:37:55] yeah

[1:37:55] infinity pool

[1:37:57] on Friday night

[1:37:58] uh

[1:37:59] Brandon Cronenberg

[1:38:00] uh

[1:38:00] David Cronenberg's son

[1:38:02] continuing the family scam

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:04] of stealing money

[1:38:04] from the Canadian film board

Dan McCoy

[1:38:06] with weird

[1:38:07] weird ass movies

[1:38:08] uh

[1:38:09] I really

[1:38:10] I

[1:38:11] you know

[1:38:11] this is a tough one

[1:38:12] because like

[1:38:12] I

[1:38:13] if this is not for you

[1:38:14] I get it

[1:38:16] I get it

[1:38:17] well

Stuart Wellington

[1:38:18] and we also

[1:38:19] we saw the baby version

[1:38:20] that's R rated

[1:38:21] not the full sicko version

[1:38:22] that played it

[1:38:23] that apparently has

Dan McCoy

[1:38:24] footage of

[1:38:25] Alexander Sarsgaard

[1:38:27] ejaculating on camera

Stuart Wellington

[1:38:28] damn it

[1:38:29] now I get to watch it again

[1:38:30] um

Dan McCoy

[1:38:32] but

[1:38:33] this is

[1:38:34] yeah

[1:38:34] this is a tough one

[1:38:35] because like

[1:38:36] it's

[1:38:36] it's not for everyone

[1:38:37] not

[1:38:38] most movies are not for everyone

[1:38:40] but this

[1:38:40] even more so

[1:38:41] but this one especially

[1:38:42] it sounds like

[1:38:42] uh

[1:38:43] but

[1:38:44] I really enjoyed it

[1:38:45] I don't

[1:38:46] like

[1:38:47] I knew

[1:38:48] very little going in

[1:38:50] but I did know the

[1:38:51] I did end up

[1:38:52] learning the basic plot

[1:38:54] and I don't even really

[1:38:54] want to give that

[1:38:55] I

[1:38:56] I'll give the start

[1:38:57] to the basic plot

[1:38:58] which is just

[1:38:58] wealthy

[1:38:59] uh

[1:39:00] couple

[1:39:00] or at least one of them

[1:39:01] the wife is wealthy

[1:39:02] the husband is sort of

[1:39:03] a hanger on

[1:39:04] uh

[1:39:05] on vacation

[1:39:05] encountering

[1:39:06] another wealthy couple

[1:39:07] they go outside

[1:39:08] it's like a

[1:39:09] it's a

[1:39:10] developing nation

[1:39:11] that's made up

[1:39:12] for the purpose

[1:39:12] of this

[1:39:13] uh

[1:39:13] movie

[1:39:14] and

[1:39:15] it's very dangerous

[1:39:16] outside

[1:39:17] the

[1:39:18] tourist

[1:39:18] like the resort

[1:39:19] that they're at

[1:39:20] but they go outside

[1:39:21] uh

[1:39:22] the writer

[1:39:23] ends up

[1:39:23] killing a man

[1:39:24] and

[1:39:25] all sorts of

[1:39:26] trouble

[1:39:27] ensues

[1:39:28] and

[1:39:28] if you think

[1:39:29] you know

[1:39:29] where it might

[1:39:30] go

[1:39:30] you do not

[1:39:31] it is a

[1:39:32] it is

[1:39:32] definitely

[1:39:33] a

[1:39:34] Cronenberg

[1:39:34] family project

[1:39:36] not that David

[1:39:37] had anything to do

[1:39:38] with it

[1:39:39] it has

[1:39:39] it carries his

[1:39:40] spirit

[1:39:40] along with him

[1:39:41] I love the idea

[1:39:42] that he

[1:39:42] probably because

[1:39:42] it's funny

[1:39:43] yeah

[1:39:44] it's very funny

[1:39:45] like people

[1:39:46] I think

[1:39:46] who talk about

[1:39:47] how extreme

[1:39:47] it is

[1:39:48] have been missing

[1:39:48] that it's basically

[1:39:49] like

[1:39:50] it's funny

[1:39:50] yeah

[1:39:51] this weird

[1:39:51] oddball comedy

[1:39:53] I love the idea

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:54] that David and Brandon

[1:39:55] are locked in this

[1:39:56] Oedipal complex

[1:39:57] where they're trying

[1:39:57] to outgross each other

[1:39:58] to be like

[1:39:59] the patriarch

[1:39:59] of the Cronenbergs

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:00] and I just want

[1:40:02] to point out

[1:40:02] like

[1:40:02] I feel like

[1:40:03] it's such a popular

[1:40:05] thing right now

[1:40:05] in popular media

[1:40:07] for

[1:40:08] uh

[1:40:09] people to

[1:40:09] like

[1:40:10] the skewering

[1:40:11] of the rich

[1:40:12] to be a big part of it

[1:40:13] but so often

[1:40:14] it also is tied in

[1:40:15] with like

[1:40:16] lifestyle porn

[1:40:17] these rich people

[1:40:18] are assholes

[1:40:19] but look at all

[1:40:19] this cool shit

[1:40:20] and I feel like

[1:40:22] does not give you that

Dan McCoy

[1:40:23] yeah

[1:40:24] I mean

[1:40:24] there's a certain

[1:40:25] beauty to it

[1:40:26] but it's like

[1:40:26] that beautiful dread

[1:40:27] that you get

[1:40:28] in

[1:40:29] like

[1:40:29] if you like

[1:40:30] the vibes

[1:40:31] of this kind of thing

[1:40:31] like

[1:40:32] some sick part

[1:40:33] you might

[1:40:33] want to visit

[1:40:35] but

[1:40:35] yeah

[1:40:36] I want to be

[1:40:37] sick to my stomach

[1:40:38] for a while

[1:40:39] but yeah

[1:40:39] it does not

[1:40:40] it does not

[1:40:41] glamorize

[1:40:41] any of that

[1:40:42] and yeah

[1:40:43] it is

[1:40:44] it is about

[1:40:45] the wealthy

[1:40:45] it is about

[1:40:46] uh

[1:40:46] seeking sensation

[1:40:48] when you've

[1:40:49] become

[1:40:50] desensitized

[1:40:51] and in a weird way

[1:40:52] what it's like

[1:40:53] to go on a vacation

[1:40:54] yeah

[1:40:54] it's about being

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:55] you know

[1:40:56] like a seeker

[1:40:57] of the far reaches

[1:40:58] of sensation

[1:40:58] okay

[1:40:59] so what I'm

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:59] so what I'm hearing

[1:41:00] is it's kind of like

[1:41:00] Hellraiser goes Hawaiian

[1:41:01] yeah

[1:41:02] exactly

[1:41:03] there you go

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:03] that's actually

[1:41:04] not too far off

[1:41:05] uh

[1:41:05] yeah it was

[1:41:06] it was a blast

[1:41:07] also I walked out of it

[1:41:08] I'm like

[1:41:08] that wasn't that weird

[1:41:09] I'm like Stu

[1:41:11] you're a skewed sample

[1:41:13] yeah

[1:41:13] that feels like

[1:41:14] normal style shit

[1:41:15] Stu skew

[1:41:16] it was great

[1:41:17] uh

[1:41:18] along the same lines

[1:41:19] my recommendation

[1:41:20] is going to touch

[1:41:20] on that stuff

[1:41:21] I'm recommending

[1:41:22] Guillermo del Toro's

[1:41:23] Pinocchio

[1:41:24] that's right

[1:41:25] uh

[1:41:26] another vacation

[1:41:28] throughout

[1:41:28] yeah

[1:41:28] uh

[1:41:29] it is

[1:41:31] you know

[1:41:31] obviously going to

[1:41:33] it like

[1:41:34] I have a long

[1:41:35] yeah

[1:41:36] I've been following

[1:41:37] Guillermo del Toro's

[1:41:38] career for a long time

[1:41:39] um

[1:41:40] and I was excited

[1:41:41] about the idea

[1:41:41] of a stop motion

[1:41:42] animation story

[1:41:43] but honestly

[1:41:43] I've seen so much

[1:41:44] Pinocchio shit lately

[1:41:45] I'm kind of sick of it

[1:41:46] but it is

[1:41:47] it is so beautiful

[1:41:49] and it's so well told

[1:41:51] and like

[1:41:51] it's so human

[1:41:52] and there's something

[1:41:54] about like

[1:41:54] the physicality

[1:41:55] of the stop motion stuff

[1:41:56] I know all the ads

[1:41:57] are focusing on that

[1:41:58] but like

[1:41:58] it is something

[1:41:59] to see the fucking

[1:42:00] like grain

[1:42:01] on the fucking

[1:42:01] resin figurines

[1:42:03] almost

[1:42:03] and there's moments

[1:42:04] where you're watching

[1:42:05] and you're like

[1:42:05] how the fuck

[1:42:06] did they do this

[1:42:07] like there's a part

[1:42:08] where uh

[1:42:09] uh

[1:42:10] Geppetto's like

[1:42:11] kicks a balloon

[1:42:12] and it bounces around

[1:42:13] I'm like

[1:42:14] how the fuck

[1:42:14] do you animate

[1:42:15] this shit

[1:42:15] it seems crazy

[1:42:16] um

[1:42:17] and there's

[1:42:18] it's so like

[1:42:19] and the

[1:42:19] there's a few

[1:42:21] songs in there

[1:42:22] and they feel

[1:42:23] so natural

[1:42:24] and beautiful

[1:42:25] when they show up

[1:42:26] and it's

[1:42:27] it's fucking

[1:42:28] sad

[1:42:29] and great

[1:42:29] and fun

[1:42:30] and it talks about

[1:42:32] like

[1:42:32] fascist Italy

[1:42:34] uh

[1:42:35] it's really great

[1:42:35] and there's a

[1:42:36] uh

[1:42:37] there's

[1:42:38] and if you watch

[1:42:38] on Netflix

[1:42:39] there's also

[1:42:40] making of

[1:42:41] uh

[1:42:42] which shows you

[1:42:43] a lot of that stuff

[1:42:44] and

[1:42:45] then of course

[1:42:46] you can also

[1:42:46] if you live in New York

[1:42:47] uh

[1:42:48] like I do

[1:42:49] I was able to go

[1:42:50] to MoMA this week

[1:42:51] and check out

[1:42:52] the exhibit

[1:42:52] where you get to

[1:42:53] actually see

[1:42:54] some of the puppets

[1:42:55] that were used

[1:42:56] in the production

[1:42:57] and it's so amazing

[1:42:58] uh

[1:43:00] and it's

[1:43:00] it's a really

[1:43:01] beautiful

[1:43:01] it's a really

[1:43:03] work of

[1:43:03] like an amazing

[1:43:04] achievement

[1:43:05] and uh

[1:43:06] if you get a chance

[1:43:06] it's on Netflix

[1:43:07] you should watch it

[1:43:08] it's great

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:08] I am going to

[1:43:10] recommend

[1:43:11] a different movie

[1:43:12] which is okay

[1:43:13] not that I'm saying

[1:43:14] those movies are not

[1:43:14] good movies

[1:43:15] just that I'm recommending

[1:43:16] I took it to myself

[1:43:17] as a challenge

[1:43:18] I don't take it

[1:43:19] as a slammer

[1:43:19] don't take this

[1:43:20] as a slammer

[1:43:20] or a snub

[1:43:21] just that I chose

[1:43:22] to recommend

[1:43:23] those movies

[1:43:23] fine great

[1:43:24] yeah I mean

[1:43:25] that's good

[1:43:25] that you want

[1:43:25] to recommend those

[1:43:26] but yeah

[1:43:26] if you're like a baby

[1:43:27] a baby

[1:43:27] yeah exactly

[1:43:29] I just went

[1:43:29] a different way

[1:43:30] I took it as a challenge

[1:43:31] I said

[1:43:32] is not a very good

[1:43:32] poker movie

[1:43:33] what is a better

[1:43:34] poker movie

[1:43:34] and so I decided

[1:43:36] a movie I like more

[1:43:36] about poker and gambling

[1:43:37] is California Split

[1:43:38] directed by Robert Altman

[1:43:40] 1974

[1:43:40] so Elliot Gould

[1:43:42] is a professional gambler

[1:43:43] he befriends

[1:43:44] George Siegel

[1:43:45] who's kind of a casual

[1:43:45] gambler

[1:43:46] who is sliding

[1:43:47] into addiction

[1:43:47] and we're kind of

[1:43:49] with George Siegel

[1:43:50] as he

[1:43:50] his obsession

[1:43:51] grows in intensity

[1:43:53] and just

[1:43:54] it seems

[1:43:55] irretrievability

[1:43:56] and he essentially

[1:43:58] gambles himself

[1:43:59] out of the gambling

[1:43:59] lifestyle

[1:44:00] and it's kind of a

[1:44:01] it's a picture

[1:44:02] of two men's friendship

[1:44:03] that is an unhealthy

[1:44:04] friendship for both of them

[1:44:05] and how it starts

[1:44:06] and continues

[1:44:07] and ends

[1:44:07] and it's really good

[1:44:09] there's funny moments

[1:44:10] in it

[1:44:10] there's serious moments

[1:44:11] in it

[1:44:11] they're both really

[1:44:12] great in it

[1:44:13] and it has something

[1:44:15] to do with

[1:44:15] kind of real life

[1:44:16] and it's not afraid

[1:44:17] to push its characters

[1:44:18] into kind of foolish

[1:44:19] or uncomplimentary

[1:44:20] situations

[1:44:21] or have them do

[1:44:22] unlikable things

[1:44:22] as opposed to

[1:44:23] Poker Face

[1:44:23] which doesn't have

[1:44:24] the courage of its convictions

[1:44:25] and is afraid

[1:44:25] to do those things

[1:44:26] so if you want

[1:44:27] to see a movie

[1:44:27] about people

[1:44:28] really struggling

[1:44:28] with card playing

[1:44:30] and with gambling

[1:44:30] but in an entertaining way

[1:44:32] but in a way

[1:44:33] that's both entertaining

[1:44:33] and affecting

[1:44:34] California Split

[1:44:35] I know I'm going out

[1:44:36] on a limb here

[1:44:37] by recommending

[1:44:37] a Robert Altman movie

[1:44:38] to you guys

[1:44:40] give them a try

[1:44:41] give them a try

[1:44:42] on this one

Dan McCoy

[1:44:43] but that is one

[1:44:44] I think because

[1:44:45] it was sort of hard

[1:44:46] to see for a while

[1:44:47] it wasn't like

[1:44:48] available for a little while

[1:44:49] that is one that

[1:44:50] doesn't get

[1:44:51] quite as much attention

[1:44:52] I mean it's

[1:44:52] now it does

[1:44:53] but like

[1:44:54] but it definitely

[1:44:55] was for a long time

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:56] it was seen as

[1:44:56] definitely kind of

[1:44:57] second tier

[1:44:57] Altman

[1:44:59] at the level of

[1:44:59] Nashville or something

[1:45:00] like that

[1:45:01] you know

Dan McCoy

[1:45:01] yeah but I mean

[1:45:02] that's one of my

[1:45:03] personal favorites

[1:45:04] so

[1:45:04] it's great

[1:45:05] I mean it's certainly

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:05] see it before you see

[1:45:07] Dr. T and the women

[1:45:08] you know before you go

[1:45:09] the late stage

[1:45:10] you know

Dan McCoy

[1:45:10] yeah

[1:45:11] well at this point

[1:45:12] see it before you see

[1:45:13] MASH

[1:45:14] one of his biggest hits

[1:45:15] which is marred

[1:45:16] by a lot of

[1:45:17] bad stuff

[1:45:18] that in general

[1:45:19] isn't in

[1:45:19] Altman movies

[1:45:20] but

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:21] no it doesn't

[1:45:21] well I think

[1:45:22] the

[1:45:22] well yeah

[1:45:23] MASH tapped

[1:45:23] into that

[1:45:24] into that spirit

[1:45:25] of rebellion

[1:45:25] of the 60s

[1:45:26] and 70s

[1:45:27] that took the form

[1:45:27] of extreme

[1:45:28] misogyny

[1:45:29] and racism

[1:45:29] where it was like

[1:45:30] where it was like

[1:45:31] and homophobia

[1:45:32] so it's okay

[1:45:33] it's okay

[1:45:34] isn't it

[1:45:35] it's time for all of us

[1:45:36] like white dudes

[1:45:37] to be free

[1:45:37] and live free

[1:45:38] and it's

[1:45:39] yeah

[1:45:39] it doesn't

[1:45:40] play golf

[1:45:40] while we're

Dan McCoy

[1:45:41] anyway

[1:45:41] I mean I understand

[1:45:43] what it's trying to say

[1:45:44] about the horrors of war

[1:45:45] and reaction to it

[1:45:46] but it doesn't play

[1:45:47] as well anymore

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:48] yeah

[1:45:48] now that we love war

[1:45:49] it doesn't play as well

Dan McCoy

[1:45:50] now that we're like

[1:45:51] fucking into it

[1:45:53] like

[1:45:53] we love it

[1:45:54] yeah

[1:45:55] yeah yeah

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:55] skulls for the skull throne

[1:45:57] baby

[1:45:57] yeah

[1:45:57] alright well

Dan McCoy

[1:45:59] on that ominous

[1:46:01] disquiting note

[1:46:02] weird way to end an episode

[1:46:04] hey

[1:46:05] if you like this show

[1:46:06] why don't you go over to

[1:46:09] we are part of

[1:46:10] the podcasting network

[1:46:12] Maximum Fun

[1:46:13] comedy and culture

[1:46:15] artist's own

[1:46:16] listener support

[1:46:16] you'll hear it

[1:46:17] at the end of the episode

[1:46:18] check out some other

[1:46:20] great shows

[1:46:20] a little preview

[1:46:21] spoiler alert

[1:46:22] spoiler for the

[1:46:23] yeah

[1:46:24] for the logo

[1:46:25] for the network logo

[1:46:26] and

[1:46:27] thank you to

[1:46:28] Howell Dottie

[1:46:29] Alex Smith

[1:46:31] is his real name

[1:46:32] you can find him

[1:46:34] under Howell Dottie

[1:46:35] on Twitter

[1:46:36] what does he do

[1:46:36] for us Dan

[1:46:37] he is our

[1:46:38] producer

[1:46:39] our editor

[1:46:40] we've been talking

[1:46:41] to him about

[1:46:41] other things

[1:46:42] that maybe we

[1:46:43] could do

[1:46:43] to extend the

[1:46:44] brand

[1:46:44] who knows

[1:46:45] if they'll

[1:46:45] happen or not

[1:46:45] but he's a

[1:46:46] very talented

[1:46:48] funny man

[1:46:49] in his own right

[1:46:50] check out what

[1:46:50] he's up to

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:51] not at all

[1:46:52] not at all

[1:46:52] the scraggly

[1:46:53] loser

[1:46:54] play about

[1:46:55] that Stuart

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:55] painted him as

[1:46:56] in the

[1:46:57] Don't Worry Darling

[1:46:57] episode

Dan McCoy

[1:46:58] we got a little

[1:47:01] context

[1:47:01] there was a

[1:47:03] private joke

[1:47:03] between Stuart

[1:47:05] and Alex

[1:47:05] that made it

[1:47:06] a little more

[1:47:07] pleasant

[1:47:08] and thank you

[1:47:12] for listening

[1:47:13] this has been

[1:47:14] a treat

[1:47:15] for the Flophouse

[1:47:15] I've been Dan

[1:47:16] McCoy

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:16] hey

[1:47:17] it's me

[1:47:18] your boy Stuart

[1:47:19] Wellington

[1:47:20] good to see

[1:47:21] you

[1:47:21] and I'm

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:23] Elliot Kalin

[1:47:24] waiting for

[1:47:24] Stuart's finish

[1:47:25] so I could

[1:47:25] say good

[1:47:26] day

[1:47:26] bye

[1:47:28] bye

[1:47:29] cranking it

Dan McCoy

[1:47:34] I'm gonna start

[1:47:35] recording

[1:47:35] yeah

[1:47:35] is that what

[1:47:36] about

[1:47:37] about

[1:47:37] I spent so

[1:47:37] much money

[1:47:38] I also

[1:47:39] I too

[1:47:41] would like to

[1:47:42] say that I'm

[1:47:42] recording

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:43] oh okay

[1:47:43] I thought you

[1:47:44] were going to

[1:47:44] admit to

[1:47:44] spending a

[1:47:45] bunch of

[1:47:45] money

[1:47:46] that's what

[1:47:46] I thought

[1:47:46] you were

[1:47:46] going to

[1:47:46] say too

[1:47:47] Dan

[1:47:47] I mean

Dan McCoy

[1:47:47] I've

[1:47:48] certainly

[1:47:49] spent money

[1:47:49] on

[1:47:50] related

[1:47:50] you know

[1:47:52] materials

[1:47:53] crank adjacent

[1:47:54] devices

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:55] memorabilias

[1:47:57] yeah

[1:47:58] mechanical

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:59] devices

[1:48:00] mainly

[1:48:00] yeah

[1:48:01] of course

[1:48:01] yeah

[1:48:01] because

[1:48:02] you're all

[1:48:03] about

[1:48:04] with steam

[1:48:04] power

[1:48:05] I'm a

[1:48:06] traveler

[1:48:06] on the

[1:48:06] outer realms

[1:48:07] of pleasure

Dan McCoy

[1:48:12] comedy and

[1:48:13] culture

S7

[1:48:13] artist owned

[1:48:14] audience

[1:48:15] supported

Ep. #389 - Poker Face

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