Ep. #389 - Poker Face

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Poker Face.

[0:03] Russell Crowe's tribute to the late, great Lady Gaga.

[0:08] Somebody that will be a joke.

[0:11] Yeah, and then it'll be sad.

[0:13] Dear God, I hope I go before her.

[0:15] Yeah.

[0:30] Hey, everyone, welcome to The Flop House, I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:42] Hey, everybody, it's me, Stuart Wellington.

[0:44] And I'm Elliot Kalin, and I couldn't be more excited that we're doing a live show on Sunday,

[0:47] April 2nd at 7.30pm at the Bell House in Brooklyn, talking about Battlefield Earth.

[0:51] Dan, what are we doing on this podcast?

[0:53] Well, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[0:57] And for this episode, you- We did that.

[1:01] I remember you saying, Elliot, hey, a listener said, why don't you check out this Russell

[1:07] Crowe movie, Poker Face?

[1:08] And we thought, Russell Crowe?

[1:11] He's not done a bad movie recently.

[1:14] No, no, you know, he's an excellent actor who has made some confounding choices along

[1:23] the way.

[1:24] Dan, are you mad that Russell Crowe's gonna hear this and get mad at you?

[1:26] I don't understand.

[1:27] I mean, he might throw a phone at me, I don't know.

[1:29] Fair, fair.

[1:30] I will say, I'm kind of enjoying late career, or mid-career, I don't know how long he's

[1:35] gonna live.

[1:36] I don't wanna- He was one of the best things about Thor Love and Thunder by a long shot.

[1:41] Arguably the only best thing.

[1:43] Wow.

[1:44] No, he's- I don't care.

[1:45] Fuck it, Marvel, come after me.

[1:47] Come after me, Thor.

[1:48] Vixen character.

[1:49] Stuart, he's huge and he has a big hammer and he gets very mad.

[1:53] That's true.

[1:54] He's a Hemsworth, much like the Hemsworth that is in me.

[1:56] That is in this movie, Poker Face.

[1:58] I like that movie more than Stuart and I still thought Russell Crowe was probably the strongest.

[2:02] He's great.

[2:03] Oh, he's super.

[2:04] But I was thinking about that this morning, about this movie, that Russell Crowe, there

[2:07] was a point where it was like, people were like, this is a great actor.

[2:11] Like this is like Russell Crowe in The Insider, Russell Crowe in Gladiator, as much as that's

[2:15] a movie that, in retrospect, is a much-do-about-nothing.

[2:19] Russell Crowe in The Quick and the motherfucking Dead, dude.

[2:23] Yeah, he's in a lot of really good stuff and yet I feel like somehow, Russell Crowe has

[2:27] gotten to the, kind of the, where Nicolas Cage was not too long ago in the public mind

[2:33] without going through a period of doing insane things, without doing roles that are bonkers

[2:39] or madness or anything like that.

[2:41] Or also, his burly pal, Gerard Butler, the Scottish Russell Crowe, I feel like as his

[2:48] career has, like, kind of gone, it's starting to rise back up again after taking a dip and

[2:54] I think Crowe is, like, they're meeting each other, maybe in the middle.

[2:57] I feel like there are a lot of similar projects these days.

[3:01] On a Butler-Crowe continuum.

[3:02] Yeah, a barren crossroads.

[3:05] This was not only starring Russell Crowe.

[3:08] Was that fucking Russell Crowe movie where he was the angry guy driving a truck?

[3:12] What was that one?

[3:13] Unhinged?

[3:14] That one was pretty good.

[3:15] That one was bonkers.

[3:16] Cause, like, normally when you see Russell Crowe in a movie, you assume he's hinged.

[3:20] This movie, he is absolutely not hinged.

[3:22] Yeah, the hinges were not attached properly at the factory.

[3:26] If you're looking for just, like, sort of a dumb and dirty thriller, that one was pretty

[3:31] fun.

[3:32] It's gross.

[3:33] Yeah.

[3:34] I have not seen that one.

[3:35] I've got to admit, I was unaware of unhinged.

[3:36] Anyway.

[3:37] Well, imagine a trailer that uses, like, what was it, like, heart-shaped box, but like a

[3:43] slowed-down version of heart-shaped box.

[3:45] I can't possibly imagine that.

[3:46] Oh, man.

[3:47] How's that possible to imagine?

[3:48] It's beyond the realms of human creativity.

[3:49] Let me cue it up real quick.

[3:53] But speaking of not hearing of things, none of us had heard of Poker Face until it was

[3:57] recommended to us.

[3:58] Until a listener whose name, I apologize, I should have written down, a listener got

[4:00] in touch with me on Twitter and said, you should do this movie, Poker Face.

[4:03] And I was like, Russell Crowe wrote it, and directed it, and he stars in it, and the plot

[4:08] sounds like there's a lot going on in it, which was the opposite of what actually happens

[4:12] in the movie.

[4:13] And most of the music is written by him as well.

[4:15] Yeah.

[4:16] This is, Russell Crowe is a real quadruple, he's a quintuple threat.

[4:19] He's an actor, a director, a writer, music.

[4:20] I can only assume he painted all the paintings in the fucking house.

[4:24] And the final fifth threat is that the movie is not very good.

[4:27] I'm going to push back on there not being a lot happening in the movie.

[4:30] I think that the thing is, not that there's not a lot happening in the movie, it's that

[4:36] there are a lot of things happening that don't really connect up with one another in any

[4:41] way.

[4:42] And most of it is very lackadaisical.

[4:43] So it's like, when I read the plot of the movie, I was like, just a brief summary of

[4:47] it before we choose it, I was like, this movie is probably going to be pretty nutsy, like

[4:52] there's so much stuff.

[4:53] But then watching it, it really feels like, Russell Crowe is like, now I'm going to do

[4:57] this, and now that is done, on to the next thing, and now that is done, and on to the

[5:01] next.

[5:02] And we'll get to this in Final Judgments, I said, but the movie never really pushes

[5:07] the characters into the place of darkness that it implies they're in at the beginning.

[5:12] There's so much stuff happening that instead of choosing a title that's been done many

[5:16] times before, that title being Poker Face, they should have chosen a different title

[5:20] that has been done before.

[5:21] They should have called this movie The Happening.

[5:23] Especially because of the theater that they all put on in the panic room, the small black

[5:29] box theater production.

[5:31] Yeah, we should make sure the audience knows this is not about the song Poker Face, actually,

[5:35] it's more about the recent TV show Poker Face.

[5:38] Yeah, lovely film, our pal John Hodgman appears on it, I'm told, I've not seen that episode

[5:44] yet, but I'm really excited to get to it.

[5:45] You've been avoiding that episode, right?

[5:47] We've just watched the first two, he's not on the first two.

[5:50] Ever since you saw the episode of Mozart in the Jungle where he appears nude, you've been

[5:53] loath to turn on a John Hodgman show, just in case, you see more Hodge Man than you Hodge

[5:58] bargained for.

[6:00] Because I fear that nothing can top it, Elliot, I'll only be disappointed.

[6:04] That's true, that's a good point.

[6:05] Maybe you should have quit at that moment, like DiMaggio.

[6:07] No, I mean, this movie, I get this weird feeling that Russell Crowe, being the writer, director,

[6:14] star, is like, no, this is really a movie, this is like a character study about a man

[6:18] dealing with, coming to terms with his own mortality, so I'm not going to give you the

[6:21] cheap genre thrills, I'm going to put those on as long as possible.

[6:26] Say what you will about this movie, if the measure of art is whether-

[6:30] And we're about to.

[6:31] And we're going to say a lot about this movie.

[6:33] If the measure of art is how much the artist is communicating what's on their soul at the

[6:38] moment, then this is a masterpiece, because this is clearly stuff that is really weighing

[6:43] heavily on Russell Crowe.

[6:44] Now, the way he communicates it is done poorly, and in a way that, in refusing us those genre

[6:51] thrills is also extremely boring, but you can tell that this is very important to him,

[6:56] that this is something he probably had to do, because otherwise, why do it?

[7:01] If you don't have to make this movie, why bother making it?

[7:04] Yeah, just enjoy your, you know, I assume, nice home and wine cellar.

[7:11] I'm assuming the tax incentives from the Australian government were pretty good.

[7:15] Yeah, probably pretty fantastic.

[7:17] Because this is the most like, this is the most like Australian extravagance you're going

[7:23] to see on screen.

[7:25] Yeah, they got a Hemsworth to be in it, and then they made them all like old looking.

[7:30] That's one of the funniest things about it.

[7:31] They put an old Hemsworth, and they put a, and Chris Hemsworth's wife is in this, too.

[7:35] Oh, really?

[7:36] Yeah, she's the dealer.

[7:37] Yeah, Chris Hemsworth's wife is the poker dealer, we'll get to that, but the fact that

[7:40] they brought in Liam Hemsworth, who is supposed to be an old childhood friend of Russell Crowe,

[7:44] but he's 25 years younger than Russell Crowe, so they put old makeup on him, which makes

[7:48] him look like an even younger man pretending to be an old man.

[7:53] Not since Prometheus have I seen such misguided old age makeup on an actor.

[7:58] On another Australian.

[7:59] On another, yeah, it doesn't get more Australian than Guy Pearce.

[8:02] Okay, so let's talk about what happens in this movie, guys.

[8:05] Okay, we start out, it's the 1970s, we're in Australia, we're introduced to a couple

[8:09] of teenage best friends, Jake and Drew, they're riding their bikes, they go to a lake, they

[8:12] go swimming, some other friends of theirs show up, we'll later learn that this is Mikey,

[8:16] Paul, and Alex, they play poker together, they love playing poker, I guess the cards

[8:20] didn't get wet when they were swimming in the old swimming hole, I don't know, or maybe

[8:24] the friends brought the cards with them.

[8:25] Ziploc bag, dude, that's the original waterproof phone case.

[8:29] Did you guys have the same problem I did with this opening, which is like, I thought, like,

[8:34] the kids were not particularly distinct enough right away for me to be like, oh, you know,

[8:41] I know the difference between all these kids, and I can't wait to see them as adults, you

[8:46] know, in style.

[8:47] And I was like, I hope this is not that important, because I don't know what's happening.

[8:52] And then I was like, thank God, it wasn't important at all.

[8:57] Part of the problem is that it's like, you know, ever since, what is it, The World's

[9:01] End, that masterfully explains characters as kids, and then later on, you're like, okay,

[9:07] this was like, ever since that, like, you have to at least get close to that level.

[9:11] Yeah.

[9:12] I mean, it doesn't do as good a job as It in doing the same thing.

[9:16] And so you don't know the kids' names, really.

[9:18] They play poker, and one of them, I guess, is Mikey, I'm not sure, I don't remember.

[9:22] He's like, oh, but I need some of that money to pay for my mom's medicine.

[9:25] And Jake goes, I'll give you $10 if you jump off this waterfall.

[9:28] And they're arguing about it, but before he can jump, an older kid shows up and starts

[9:31] bullying them.

[9:32] And only later in the movie did I piece together that must be Paul's brother, Victor, who becomes

[9:38] the villain of the movie.

[9:40] And he bullies them, and instead of just stealing their money, he plays poker with Jake and

[9:44] loses, and gets so mad that the kids all, the younger teens run away by jumping off

[9:49] that waterfall.

[9:50] And Jake goes, hey, you jumped to the waterfall, I'll give you that $10.

[9:53] And Mikey goes, ah, I stole it anyway, and they laugh and go all the way home.

[9:57] Okay, now guys.

[9:58] Yeah, yeah.

[9:59] They're, they may be.

[10:00] boogs, but they're honorable. Yes. And this and everything is shot in the glow of golden

[10:06] light. It is like it is constantly five fifty six p.m. when this is when this is going on

[10:11] because now years later, Jake has grown up into Russell Crowe and he is well, as we'll

[10:16] learn, terminally ill. But he's also terminally sad. He's a billionaire who is just kind of

[10:20] glumly walking through an art gallery, having flashes of sad memories. And of course, when

[10:25] a middle aged man is being sat in our gallery, there's only one thing that's going to happen.

[10:30] A young woman is going to come up and say, can I paint your portrait and submit it for

[10:32] a major portrait competition? Mm hmm. Yep. And so this is this comes so far out of nowhere

[10:39] that I was going nowhere. I was convinced until the last scene of the movie, which,

[10:44] by the way, Stewart takes place after the first credit of the film. So you saw it. Yeah.

[10:49] But it does not come back into play. Like I was convinced this is such a bizarre out

[10:55] of nowhere thing that I'm like, oh, this is part of whatever scam is going to be run

[10:59] later on, especially the fact that she was like getting him on camera saying his name

[11:05] like I'm like, oh, this has to play in somehow. So you thought what you thought was a clunky

[11:10] way of getting him into a con was just a clunky way of releasing exposition into the wild

[11:15] so that he would say out loud what his name, age and gambling profession is. Stewart, guys,

[11:20] guys, I take a lot of heat on this podcast for stopping the movie earlier, not seeing

[11:24] the post credit scenes. But the thing is, I think that's just my elite mindset where

[11:29] I realize I know who's won this movie. I can leave early, maybe beat traffic. So you watch

[11:35] movies the same way my dad would take us to baseball games. Yeah, yeah. Around the sixth

[11:39] or seventh inning, he'd go, well, time to go. We'll get home faster. We'll listen to

[11:42] the end on the radio. I can wrap this up, maybe play a little bit of Sekiro at home.

[11:47] Who won the movie? Russell Crowe did everything. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I guess. Well, he's

[11:52] dead at the end. Spoilers. Yeah, I'm so jealous. I mean, the ultimate win. They can't get him

[11:56] out at him anymore. Yeah. And he died rich, which, as you know, he brought he took it

[12:00] with him. You know, he's left this veil of tears. Yeah, I guess he did win. So the and

[12:06] the flophouse is in no way implying that death means winning or that you should chase or

[12:10] even earn after death or anyway, go ahead and fear the reaper. We're just joking about

[12:14] it. Life is wonderful. And some would say beautiful, even even Roberto Bedini would

[12:18] say that. And and you should you should hold on tight to it as much as you can. And if

[12:23] this rage rage against the this moment of life doesn't have to be beautiful, just wait

[12:27] because there's another one coming along and it's going to be much better. So, OK, moving

[12:30] on. Jake needs to be told this because Jake is sad and he drives for a long time while

[12:36] viewing about his life. And when I say he drives, I mean, we see footage from outside

[12:39] of a car driving. We rarely see Russell Crowe inside of it. And he has a long view about

[12:44] how he had these close childhood friends. But lately they've been pulling apart. Drew

[12:49] was his best friend. They played every kind of poker. And then for about 15 seconds, he

[12:53] just lists kinds of poker games. And eventually they invented the first online poker system.

[13:00] They got very rich and they somehow turned that first online poker system into a computerized

[13:04] surveillance system of all phones, text and online data, which is called Riffle. And that

[13:09] made them even richer. So they're now essentially villains at this point. Yeah. And that's that's

[13:15] interesting thing about this movie as a whole. Once we assemble our crew, like I'm like,

[13:21] do I like anyone? I mean, I don't know. Think that I need to. I'm not one of those people.

[13:27] I sometimes it's very thrilling to watch a movie where I can, you know, disconnect my

[13:32] moral compass for a while and like watch an antihero. But they're none of them. But they're

[13:37] all like kind of charmless, too. They're like either sad or seedy or cruel. It's really

[13:48] asking a lot for us to now watch a movie about a very rich man worrying about mortality and

[13:56] his relationships without seeming to without really wanting to admit that he has done something

[14:00] very bad in creating a tool that allows anyone on Earth to be tracked in every way possible.

[14:07] And later on when he's like, he's like, as a prank, we decided to use riffle to go after

[14:11] you and he found out information we shouldn't have known. It's like, no, no shit, dude.

[14:15] Like no. But anyway, Jake's philosophy of life. The thing is, it's all about poker.

[14:19] Like all great men, he sees life as being about risk and betting and knowing when to

[14:24] walk away. And the only way that he can interact with this beautiful creation that God has made

[14:29] for us is through gambling and stakes and card game metaphors. So, Jake, he's going

[14:34] to a private mystical retreat like many aging billionaires. He has to he has to get right with

[14:40] God with this aging Australian guru who I only found out later is played by Jack Thompson,

[14:45] who was the defense attorney in Breaker Morant, one of the truly great Australian movies,

[14:49] like just a fantastic movie. He's he's this. But since I didn't know that when I was watching it,

[14:55] I just thought he was a weirdly white guru. He is. He's like, you're dying, aren't you, Jake?

[15:02] And he's like, yeah, I am. And Jake, oh, you're afraid of dying. You're afraid of dying.

[15:05] And they do some kind of ayahuasca ish thing, but we don't actually see Jake to hallucinogenic

[15:11] thing that always actually do is kind of stare into the distance as everything gets trippy and

[15:15] echoey. And there's slowed down shots of playing cards. Yeah, he goes to the guru. He holds a

[15:20] guitar. The guru plays sad harmonica, which if that was the minute the guru took out the harmonica,

[15:25] if I was Jake, I'd be like, I'm out. I don't care how high or how much I know what I did

[15:29] to my inner soul. I can do the part to piano man. And and Jake relives memories of his first

[15:36] wife dying in a car crash. And at the end of it, the guru hands as all licensed gurus do.

[15:42] He hands him a case containing a drug and he says, hey, in small doses, this creates honesty

[15:47] in people. But in lethal in large doses, it's lethal. So here's some poison. Thanks for joining.

[15:52] Yeah, this is. Well, I mean, he is implied. It's like some people want to go out on their

[15:58] own terms. You know, he's like saying if this is if you don't rather than pancreatic cancer,

[16:03] which is what we learned later that he has. Yeah. If this is what you want. But it is such a I mean,

[16:08] after a few false like things that I thought were going to play into the movie and then didn't

[16:13] finally like I was able to be like, well, this the most obvious thing that's going to come up later

[16:20] must come up later. The fact that this is poisonous and large. Yeah. Although oddly,

[16:24] the fact that it is, I guess, a truth serum doesn't really come up like he doses his friends.

[16:30] And I guess the idea is supposed to be that that's going to break things down a little bit. But that

[16:36] doesn't really that's not really what happened. I mean, it is kind of in that they do come clean

[16:40] about things, but they probably would have done the same thing under the effects of alcohol

[16:44] and stress. So and the promise of money. He told them at that point, oh, I've poisoned you.

[16:50] Yeah. You're saying he didn't have to actually poison them. He could have just gone through.

[16:54] He just got to just say, yeah. Anyway, this is I mean, this is also a section where clearly,

[16:59] again, this is very meaningful to Russell Crowe. But you're like, what am I watching?

[17:02] Why am I watching this? This guy just goes through this this kind of vague ceremony. Anyway,

[17:06] Jake goes back to his high rise Sydney apartment. He's got a view of the opera house and everything.

[17:10] His second wife is taking boxes like a movie places it for us. You know, like it really

[17:15] yes, it builds a world. And that world is called Australia.

[17:20] So there was a bear running around in the foreground. There's probably a Hemsworth in it.

[17:26] You know, there's a Hemsworth in the woods somewhere. His second wife is taking boxing

[17:30] lessons. She does not look happy with him, maybe because he's been off Iowa skiing for days. I

[17:34] don't know. And he has a teenage daughter that he's he's clearly close to. And she comes up and

[17:38] asks him for a lot of money to buy an expensive denim jacket. And then she says she misses her

[17:42] mom and they bond over that. And then we get and I got to say, like, wouldn't she already have like

[17:47] a fucking credit card or something? Why does she need cash cash? That seems wild.

[17:51] I guess he's like he's a tech guy. Like my guess is he's one of those tech guys who no longer trust

[17:57] technology. He's like, I know too much about how it's done. We're only using cash from now on,

[18:01] like my home, because he has piles of cash everywhere in his houses. Like he's all about

[18:05] bricks of cash. Also, just because he's wealthy doesn't mean that he wants his daughter to have

[18:10] access to essentially unlimited funds. And also true. And it's also probably a game of

[18:15] control and power that he wants the people in his life to have to come to him for things.

[18:19] And then he gets to be the Santa Claus who hands stuff out, hands out goodies in exchange.

[18:31] And so then we get a flashback montage of Jake talking to his lawyer, Sam, about setting up

[18:35] a financial trust. And Sam says the word trust like a billion times. And it's maybe the least

[18:40] subtle thing in the movie, which is already subtle. He's just like a trust. Well, with the

[18:45] trust, there's also a trust, a trust. And he says it more times than Dave Mustaine does in that song

[18:50] on cryptic writings. Is it called trust? I believe it's called trust. Yeah. He plays and Jake plays

[18:57] with the truth serum case. He looks up some stuff on his computer and then his wife is mad at him

[19:00] and he gives he goes, I'm sorry for whatever, which is maybe the worst apology ever. He goes,

[19:06] I'm sorry. She goes for what he goes applied where needed. Jake's friends. This is where the

[19:11] plot kicks in. They've been invited to a big party. Well, this is where the plot lurches

[19:17] towards its next stage, like a kind of a massive kind of bestial behemoth, which has nothing but

[19:26] its raw instincts and a sort of mating sense to drive into one place, as in this James Tiptree

[19:32] story I just finished reading the other night where these huge, these monstrous kind of

[19:37] crustaceans are just slamming into a beach as they are driven mad by this mating call that they need.

[19:42] And they're destroying a human colony on this alien planet because all they can see and care

[19:47] about is this this hormonal burst that is forcing them to do this thing that will end with them

[19:52] dying and then and creating another generation. That's what this movie is like. So anyway,

[19:56] wait, wait, wait. What happens next in your story? Yeah, it's a more interesting plot.

[20:00] It's really good, I mean, to find out, don't take my word for it, pick up Her Spoke Rose

[20:06] Up Forever by James Tiptree Jr. at your local library maybe, reading Rainbow.

[20:11] So Jake's friends have invited this poker night and they show up in the lobbyist's building

[20:14] and now we see them grown up.

[20:15] There's Mikey, who is Liam Hemsworth, again, 25 years younger than Russell Crowe, but made

[20:20] up to look like an older version of himself.

[20:22] Looks like shit.

[20:23] He's wearing like a poorly fitted, like, tracksuit.

[20:27] Yeah, he's got lines drawn on his face, you know?

[20:30] That's the biggest sin for Stewart.

[20:32] Get your tracksuit fitted.

[20:33] Come on.

[20:34] Well, I mean, like, everybody else is wearing, like, suits and shit.

[20:37] Yeah.

[20:38] Who's his tracksuit tailor?

[20:39] Fire that guy.

[20:40] And he's kind of like a scruffy alcoholic.

[20:42] There's Paul, who's now a government minister, and as he walks in, there's just reporters

[20:45] being like, Paul, Paul, what about this report?

[20:48] And he's like, I'm there to help people, I'm going to help the people that need it.

[20:51] Like, it's the most generic thing a politician could say.

[20:54] And there's Alex, who is a writer, who we see kissing Jake's wife.

[20:58] Uh-oh.

[20:59] And meanwhile...

[21:00] Like, kissing for, like, friends?

[21:01] No, not...

[21:02] Kissing for, like, more than friends.

[21:04] I think they like like each other.

[21:05] No kidding.

[21:06] Oh, wow, an official couple.

[21:07] Yeah.

[21:08] Well, they're not an official couple.

[21:09] So it's a kiss-kiss.

[21:11] Was there a bang-bang?

[21:12] We do find out later there was at least one bang-bang, because we find out later she's

[21:15] carrying his baby.

[21:16] So, meanwhile, there's a mean old man who's talking angrily to someone on the phone.

[21:20] In her belly, not like a sack or something.

[21:22] That'd be crazy.

[21:23] Yeah.

[21:24] Okay.

[21:25] When you said it, Dan started looking around the room to see what he would carry a baby

[21:28] in.

[21:29] Oh, yeah.

[21:30] Yeah, yeah.

[21:31] No, I mean, that seems convenient, because then you get your hands free.

[21:32] Yeah, I guess you're right.

[21:33] Yeah, it's hands-free baby-carrying technology.

[21:34] You don't have to waste it.

[21:35] You just keep it in your belly and your uterus until it's ready to come out.

[21:38] Yeah, you don't got to slop up a tote bag or something.

[21:41] Ironically, you know who's got the best version of that?

[21:44] Marsupials.

[21:45] Thanks, Australia.

[21:46] Kangaroo.

[21:47] That baby comes out real little.

[21:48] Stick it in a pouch.

[21:49] Set it and forget it.

[21:50] Don't think about it.

[21:51] And it pops out when he can walk on his own.

[21:53] Marsupials.

[21:54] You got it.

[21:55] You got the right idea.

[21:56] So let's hear it, everybody.

[21:57] For kangaroos.

[21:58] Pass off to you.

[21:59] The people who finally figured out the perfect life-hack to pregnancy.

[22:00] All right.

[22:01] Oh.

[22:02] Okay.

[22:03] This is great.

[22:04] So Sam, the lawyer, he's...

[22:05] Oh, and there's the mean old man who's talking angrily to someone on the phone at the bar.

[22:06] At a bar somewhere.

[22:07] Not Zabar's.

[22:08] A bar.

[22:09] If he was at Zabar's, they'd say, excuse me, sir.

[22:10] People are trying to buy expensive cheese.

[22:11] Can you please step outside?

[22:12] It's hard for people to shop for whitefish while you are talking so angrily on the phone.

[22:13] So Sam, the lawyer.

[22:14] Oh, yeah.

[22:15] Oh, yeah.

[22:16] People are trying to buy expensive cheese.

[22:17] Can you please step outside?

[22:18] It's hard for people to shop for whitefish while you're talking so angrily on the phone.

[22:22] So Sam, the lawyer.

[22:23] He goes, hey, Jake's friends, we're going to go to the garage.

[22:26] You're each going to take...

[22:27] Choose a luxury car from this garage.

[22:29] And then you're going to race to Jake's seaside vacation house.

[22:33] But, Mikey, because you've been drinking, I'm going to drive you.

[22:36] And again, we watched these cars driving and racing around for a while.

[22:40] It is the least exciting race I've ever seen.

[22:44] Yeah.

[22:45] It's the slowest 90 minute movie.

[22:47] Yeah.

[22:48] For a movie, it's a movie that certainly feels long.

[22:51] You're in some kind of time dilation effect zone because it feels longer than it is.

[22:55] Meanwhile, Jake is flying out on a helicopter and he is on the phone with someone we'll

[22:59] later learn is Drew, now played as an adult by the RZA.

[23:02] And they're they're talking about how he's like an Australian actor.

[23:07] Oh, yep.

[23:09] Can bear his own RZA.

[23:10] And the Drew is like, you sure you want to do this?

[23:14] And he's like, it's time we had an honest conversation.

[23:16] And the Jake is, man, you're fucking killing that accent.

[23:19] I'm just a man of three voices.

[23:21] My own voice, my voice slightly higher like this.

[23:24] And then an Australian voice.

[23:26] And I'm going to ride this to the future.

[23:28] Snagglepuss.

[23:31] Exit stage left.

[23:32] You know, that's kind of snagglepussy.

[23:34] It's OK.

[23:35] It's all right.

[23:36] Yeah.

[23:37] I've been trying to do a King Candy from from Wreck-It Ralph a lot for my kids, and they

[23:40] are very critical about it.

[23:41] They're very mean in their criticisms of of my this basically just an Edwin, right?

[23:45] Yes.

[23:46] It's Alan Tudyk doing Edwin, basically.

[23:47] Yeah.

[23:48] The.

[23:49] So what's better?

[23:50] I can't do it.

[23:51] No, that's not terrible.

[23:52] Yeah.

[23:53] I'm mad with a wooden leg.

[23:54] I can't do it.

[23:55] I've lost it.

[23:56] I barely had in the first place.

[23:57] And that's the joke about the man.

[23:58] The name of the man's leg.

[23:59] Right.

[24:00] Yeah.

[24:01] OK.

[24:02] Yeah.

[24:03] What's the name of his other leg?

[24:04] Yeah.

[24:05] And it makes them laugh so much that they can float up to the ceiling and bump their heads.

[24:08] Yeah.

[24:09] Yeah.

[24:10] We're talking about Mary Poppins.

[24:11] We're talking about Mary Poppins.

[24:12] Do you probably just know the horror parody Scary Poppins where she tries to kill the

[24:16] kids?

[24:17] Yeah.

[24:18] Yeah.

[24:19] And of course, the and of course, the John Lithgow starring Harry and the Hendersons

[24:22] Poppins were a big foot becomes a nanny.

[24:26] OK, so that's also weirdly enough, the porn version's name.

[24:31] Wow.

[24:32] So spelled differently.

[24:34] But anyway, slightly.

[24:35] So Jake gets the house first.

[24:36] He sends the staff home, except for a poker dealer named Penelope.

[24:39] He was played by Elsa Pataki, Mrs. Chris Hemsworth, and also Officer Nevis or whatever

[24:44] from the Fast and the Furious movies.

[24:46] And she is maybe the most needless character in the whole thing because she just shows

[24:51] up to play poker and then leaves.

[24:52] It's an odd inclusion because I mean, look, I was not as hung up on this as Audrey was,

[24:59] but I see her point.

[25:00] Like, Audrey was like, why, if you're going to do this thing where the whole point is

[25:03] to reconnect with these people or whatever, like, why are you bringing in an outside sort

[25:08] of point of focus in having a dealer, especially then when the movie like makes nothing of

[25:14] this character?

[25:15] My guess is she is there.

[25:17] If I'm Jake, she's there to help throw.

[25:20] She's wearing a low cut dress and she's she's dealing.

[25:23] She's there to help throw my guests, my best friends off their guard by giving them something

[25:27] else to distract them.

[25:28] So they don't notice that I have put a truth serum in their blood.

[25:31] Yeah.

[25:32] And he makes a comment that they're going to hit.

[25:33] They'll flirt with anything.

[25:34] Yeah.

[25:35] Yeah.

[25:37] And then they don't know.

[25:38] They don't flirt with her.

[25:39] Well, that's the other thing is that everyone talks about these guys as if they are.

[25:43] They're just the baddest of bad boys.

[25:44] They are naughty friends.

[25:45] And they're just so they're Arab scallions and rogues and blaggards.

[25:49] And earlier, Jake's daughter is like, you know, they're my disreputable uncles.

[25:53] And when they show up, they are fine.

[25:56] Like there's nothing particularly like outrageous or entertaining or like uncouth about them.

[26:02] You know, like one guy has a possibly criminal sex tape out there.

[26:07] The other guy has a severe drug or alcohol problem.

[26:10] And the other guy just cheating on his friends with his friends.

[26:14] Like, you know, like, yeah, those are all those are all crimes against other people.

[26:21] You know, they're they're sins against other people.

[26:22] But at no point they're never like, hey, well, this I mean, like, I guess Liam Hemsworth

[26:26] tells a story about having like a perennial abscess.

[26:28] And that's about as as wild as their stories.

[26:31] As like as like roguish as it is, it's like it's like the people in like the Purge universe

[26:37] who use that as a chance to like cheat on taxes.

[26:39] Yeah.

[26:40] Yeah.

[26:41] Yeah.

[26:42] Yeah.

[26:43] Yeah.

[26:44] They're not really making the most of their their position as the like bad boys in the

[26:45] movie.

[26:46] And it's talking about roguish.

[26:47] If they touch someone, they don't absorb their memories, which would have really helped Jake

[26:50] if he could do that.

[26:51] And it certainly would have helped cement their status as rogues almost as much as if

[26:56] they went to the Savage Land and just did it with Magneto.

[26:59] That's a thing only rogues do for sure.

[27:04] So Paul.

[27:05] So, I mean, yeah, if none of them have had any encounters with Zaladane, high priestess

[27:10] of the Savage Land.

[27:11] Anyway, Paul.

[27:12] Do you have any rogue content for us here?

[27:14] What do you know about rogues?

[27:16] Well, she calls people sugar.

[27:18] Oh, they don't do that.

[27:20] She's Southern.

[27:21] Yeah.

[27:22] None of them are in are in a in a relationship with Gambit.

[27:24] Yeah.

[27:26] You know, a Bride of Frankenstein style streak through their hair.

[27:29] Mm hmm.

[27:30] Good.

[27:31] Did she get that from Carol Danvers, like holding on to Carol Danvers?

[27:34] I don't think so, because Carol Danvers Danvers has blonde hair, but I don't know.

[27:39] And Stan, what else?

[27:40] No, because she had it already.

[27:41] I think before she went, when the original character of Rogue was presented as a much

[27:45] older woman and then they kind of aged her down after Chris Claremont, I think, wanted

[27:50] to bring her in as a member of the X-Men, basically.

[27:52] So those first few appearances, she's drawn as an older woman.

[27:56] She already has that streak.

[27:57] So I think it was just there because she's supposed to be a woman in approaching middle

[27:59] age.

[28:00] You know, the same way that I noticed in the in the mirror the other day, that the kind

[28:03] of spotty grayness of my hair has now is beginning to solidify into white bands above my ears.

[28:08] Reed Richards style.

[28:09] Yeah.

[28:10] I'm turning into a Marvel character.

[28:12] Excellent.

[28:13] So.

[28:14] So.

[28:15] Yeah.

[28:16] Go on.

[28:17] Or do you want to talk more about.

[28:18] I've got nothing more about.

[28:20] I mean, I just it's interesting that you say that, like, all I remember her is like she

[28:24] was the one that everyone who was like an X-Men fan, like who was like a horny heterosexual

[28:33] dude of my age, like that was they all they're all rogue fans.

[28:37] I mean, it's split between Rogue, Shadowcat and then the the cool dudes who like Badass

[28:43] Storm.

[28:44] Oh, really?

[28:45] Because there's also Psylocke.

[28:46] I feel like when I feel like the people who the people who are a little bit older than

[28:49] me were into Shadowcat and then the people kids my age were like, like, I guess Rogue

[28:56] is the nice girl and Psylocke's the bad girl.

[28:59] And Storm was I mean, Storm was too much too much of a queen to be to be seen as a romantic

[29:04] figure.

[29:05] Exactly.

[29:06] It was like the same way that like there's but there's part of me that that has always

[29:10] seen Angela Bassett as more of an like extra human kind of like super person who can like

[29:15] walk around and talk and eat things and, you know, be a real person.

[29:19] You know, it's like she's she's almost she's too much on that godly level.

[29:22] Anyway, that's why Angela Bassett should have played Storm all those years ago.

[29:25] Anyway.

[29:26] Yeah.

[29:27] Paul on the drive over.

[29:28] He's talking to someone on the phone.

[29:29] He goes, call off the plan.

[29:30] The house isn't going to be empty.

[29:31] I was wrong.

[29:32] But whoever he's talking to says, no, it has to happen tonight.

[29:33] We go to Jake's house.

[29:35] It's a super fancy, you know, billionaire technology house.

[29:38] There's a panic room.

[29:39] There's a fingerprint wall safe, all that stuff.

[29:41] We learn that Mikey has a gun with him.

[29:44] The gun arrives and Jake gives his check off, pops up and goes, is that is going to come

[29:51] into handy.

[29:52] I mean, that's not a Russian accent, but it's more fun.

[29:56] I'm boycotting Russian accents right now.

[29:57] They know.

[29:58] Oh, wow.

[30:00] is going to sound like a like a cartoon German.

[30:02] Yeah, I will pay attention to that gun.

[30:05] It's going to come in handy, according to me.

[30:07] Anton Chekhov.

[30:08] Oh, wow. Yeah.

[30:09] Kind of ironic that a man who is best and most strongly

[30:13] about observing humans and creating believable characters

[30:16] is best remembered now for a structural trick.

[30:21] That's just how good he is.

[30:22] I was reading last year I reread The Cherry Orchard

[30:25] and I'm like, I forgot how funny this this play is.

[30:28] And I feel like it's such a beautiful play.

[30:30] This is the like a character walks in and within three lines,

[30:33] you know who they are.

[30:33] That guy, Chekhov, he's going places because he because he shows up

[30:37] and just says who he is and what his motivations are.

[30:40] Yeah, exactly. Just like in this movie. Yeah.

[30:41] And I was like, I mean, we really said because I was like,

[30:44] what if Anton Chekhov was writing today?

[30:47] Oh, they just bring him on to Marvel movies.

[30:49] And he just be there to like punch up the character moments.

[30:51] Yeah. So, yeah.

[30:54] No, no, no. Go on. Go on.

[30:56] So you say about Anton Chekhov, let's hear it.

[30:58] Dan, add some elaborate bit about Anton Chekhov rewriting Quantum Mania.

[31:05] If the Pym particles are introduced in the first act,

[31:08] they have to be used in the third act.

[31:10] And they're like, Anton, you should use the Pym particles

[31:12] all throughout the movie. It's kind of his thing.

[31:14] Like, don't hold back on it.

[31:16] Yes. So I introduced that he has superpowers in act one.

[31:19] And then in act three, he'll use them.

[31:21] Just have him use them throughout the movie.

[31:23] No, no, no. For most of the movie, he's a normal man

[31:26] who just goes to work and he's a normal person.

[31:29] It does not make sense for Kang to be so super ripped.

[31:32] Why does he keep taking his shirt off?

[31:34] It's like, well, the thing is,

[31:35] Jonathan Major's got super ripped for what magazine dreams.

[31:39] And he looks incredible.

[31:42] That's why he has to be shirtless throughout. Yeah.

[31:45] But you'd think they would just shoot the lasers at his

[31:48] unarmored chest and not at the places that have the space armor on them, the future armor.

[31:52] You know, some things you just got a suspension of disbelief.

[31:55] We're watching TV. We're watching TV today.

[31:57] My friends call me Ant-Man, but it's short for Anton.

[32:02] Anyways, what you were saying,

[32:03] we were watching TV earlier today and the Creed three trailer popped on

[32:07] and there's a shot of Jonathan Majors with his shirt off.

[32:10] That's like angled up.

[32:11] And Charlene just goes, whoa.

[32:16] I mean, the thing is, Jonathan Majors

[32:17] already looks like he's about ten and a half feet tall.

[32:19] Like it's the but anyway, the that's why it with Lovecraft Country.

[32:24] I was like, this guy's not a science fiction fan.

[32:26] There's no way he grew up reading all these science books.

[32:28] Is that nerd carrying books around?

[32:30] How do you get so huge?

[32:31] I guess he's carrying the heaviest books in the world.

[32:33] That's why he's ripped.

[32:34] I guess he's not called Jonathan Minors.

[32:39] OK, guys. Yeah.

[32:41] Did you hear about Dan?

[32:42] They're doing a remake of the major and the minor, but with Jonathan Majors

[32:44] and Jerry Minor.

[32:46] Problematic plot.

[32:48] They changed the plot.

[32:49] They just it's just the title.

[32:51] Yeah. And the names of the actors, not even the characters.

[32:54] That's yeah.

[32:55] They're just they're always use IP. Yeah.

[32:57] I don't know if I don't know if you pay attention to the trades, guys,

[32:59] but they're also doing a a legacy equal to major league

[33:03] called Majors League, where Jonathan Majors makes his own baseball.

[33:09] Oh, that's amazing.

[33:10] Yeah, I can't wait to see that.

[33:12] Yeah. OK, so so the friends arrive

[33:15] and Jake gives his best buddy since childhood a very subdued welcome

[33:18] as if they just saw each other yesterday.

[33:20] They drink wine.

[33:21] They toast to absent friends because Drew is not there.

[33:25] And Jake goes, all right, here's the OK, pop quiz, hot shots.

[33:28] Here's the first game.

[33:29] You can each keep the car you drove here.

[33:31] And they're like, that's a million dollar car.

[33:33] And I didn't know if there's an Australian dollars or American dollars.

[33:35] And it really bothers me to be.

[33:37] It has to be Australian dollars.

[33:39] And so he goes, that's a million dollar car.

[33:40] And he goes, you can either keep that car or trade it to me

[33:43] for five million dollars in poker chips.

[33:46] But I wasn't sure.

[33:47] Is he saying they all have to choose the chips?

[33:49] I know that if they choose the chips, they have to play poker

[33:51] and they all have to choose tips.

[33:52] And Alex is like, I don't know, I feel weird about it.

[33:55] But the other guys are totally into it.

[33:56] So they all do it and they have more liquor and cigars

[33:58] and they start playing poker.

[33:59] And it's very boring.

[34:00] I want to ask you something about this now.

[34:03] Spoiler alert, this this gets interrupted later on.

[34:07] Well, the whole evening gets interrupted later on by much like a girl.

[34:10] It gets interrupted. Yeah.

[34:11] The home invasion.

[34:12] Sorry, Angelina Jolie.

[34:14] But even before.

[34:16] Yeah, even before the home of a invasion,

[34:19] when the character played by RZA shows up,

[34:23] it's just like, I guess the poker game's over and they're like, I guess so.

[34:27] And I'm like, wait, it is like, are they abandoning it?

[34:30] Like what?

[34:31] Like this seemed like a very important thing to Russell Crowe for some reason.

[34:35] And I never quite understood

[34:37] what the poker game was supposed to do in any way.

[34:41] I mean, it was supposed to like loosen their inhibitions a little bit.

[34:45] Do something familiar with them.

[34:46] It would be like if I was trying to reconnect with my childhood friends,

[34:49] we'd be like, let's play a fucking, I don't know,

[34:51] Doomtown tournament and play with our little cowboy cards.

[34:54] But the thing is, they also you would think that like

[34:57] they make a big point of a couple of the characters.

[34:59] A couple of the guys are like, look, financially, I'm kind of fucked.

[35:02] So I having this kind of money would be amazing.

[35:05] So when they like leave the table, I would like at least those characters

[35:09] to be like stressing about like, we need to get back to the table.

[35:13] I need to make this money.

[35:14] Like that's no like those are no joke stakes.

[35:16] Yeah. Or especially for like Liam Hemsworth's character, where he should

[35:20] like you would think he would be like he's already got impulse

[35:23] control issues, theoretically, because he has addiction issues.

[35:25] You would think he would be like, we got to get back to the table.

[35:28] I need I'm going to win. I'm hot.

[35:30] That's what I don't get the stakes.

[35:31] Like I'm like, yeah, they never get to eat the steaks that I assume

[35:35] get preparing.

[35:36] Why are there so why so much money involved?

[35:39] Like I would understand if the implication was like Russell Crowe

[35:44] as like some sort of last act of revenge against these people

[35:48] as he's dying is like pitting them against each other for this money.

[35:52] But as we see at the end of the film, like he he treats them all well.

[35:56] He leaves them all this money.

[35:58] I don't I think I think I think we're supposed to believe.

[36:02] Here's the way I think this movie is supposed to work.

[36:04] We are supposed to believe that he is pitting his friends

[36:07] against each other that way.

[36:08] And he's kind of toying with them and playing with them

[36:10] as some kind of revenge.

[36:11] And then it's like the movie seems to then be saying

[36:15] that he has a change of heart and wants to do good for them.

[36:18] But he's already set up the trust like it's already.

[36:20] So the change of heart, he's basically the character arc

[36:23] that you expect from the movie happened before the movie started.

[36:26] And so the whole movie is him playing a weird game with them.

[36:29] And you could say if this was a better movie, it was a deeper movie.

[36:33] I would say even in trying to do good by his friends,

[36:35] he can't help but make it a game of control and risk and domination

[36:40] that he is rubbing their faces in how much he can afford to help them

[36:44] and how much they need that help and making them kind of go through his hoops

[36:48] in order to get that help, that there's still something in him

[36:50] that craves manipulation of other people that way.

[36:54] But instead, none of that is there.

[36:56] Like there's no I'm reading so deeply into something that's not there.

[36:58] I mean, he's just like it.

[37:00] And really what it is is that the movie is like poker segment

[37:03] over home invasion segment about to begin.

[37:06] Wait over here.

[37:07] Like it's literally when you're I was just on the Universal Studio tour

[37:10] and they're like, OK, we're entering the King Kong ride.

[37:12] We're going to talk about King Kong for a little bit.

[37:14] And now we play the King Kong thing.

[37:16] And now we're leaving the King Kong thing and we're heading to Jaws.

[37:19] Like that's what this feels like.

[37:20] Now, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but if you want to watch a movie

[37:24] that deals with a man who is coping with the end of his life

[37:27] and has his own control issues and make people play through crazy games,

[37:30] I would highly recommend the saw series over there.

[37:33] It really does feel like it's one of the few times when you can say that saw

[37:36] has more richly delved into the topic

[37:39] than this movie, than this character study of friendship, you know.

[37:43] So they're all playing poker.

[37:45] Meanwhile, these three crooks are sitting in a car waiting for something.

[37:48] And there's the mean old man we saw earlier.

[37:51] There's a refined art thief who's talking about how it's not just

[37:54] it's about stealing the art and possessing it.

[37:55] And there's a loser who keeps the dude with the art thief.

[37:58] And the art guy is was one of the dudes with a shotgun in his hand from Upgrade.

[38:03] Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[38:05] And and they're waiting to pull some kind of heist or something.

[38:07] We get more poker playing.

[38:09] Mikey and Jake somehow tie in a game of poker and have to share.

[38:12] Well, you can do that if there's a split pot.

[38:15] If if if if no one has the high hand.

[38:18] No, but they have the exact same hand.

[38:21] They say it.

[38:21] They get the exact same hand of cards.

[38:23] They have the exact same hand.

[38:25] Yeah, yeah.

[38:26] Yeah, it's just a silly thing to have.

[38:28] No, it's not silly.

[38:30] It's not impossible, but it is silly.

[38:31] And because and it shows you that this is a movie that is going to pull

[38:34] every punch, I think, because it is not it doesn't want to hurt

[38:37] either one of these characters.

[38:38] And I feel like if this movie was serious about what it was doing,

[38:41] Mikey would lose that hand and realize the answer to all my problems

[38:45] supposedly just slipped through my fingers because my friend

[38:48] who's supposed to be helping me can't help but win, has to win against me.

[38:52] He can't lose if it even if it means I we get money.

[38:55] But instead, the movie is like, oh, Russell Crowe doesn't want to be a bad guy.

[38:58] You know, it's true.

[38:59] Like the only way this movie works is if it's a lot meaner.

[39:03] Yes. Of a movie.

[39:04] Like, I mean, you know, obviously a

[39:08] a figure with a lot of terrible things about him.

[39:11] But Roman Polanski style like psychological gamesmanship

[39:15] is what's needed here.

[39:16] And that's not what this is.

[39:18] Or if you or if you want to talk about someone who's only who's who's

[39:20] who's somewhat less problematic in their handling of other people

[39:23] like Ingmar Bergman does this very well in movies where he just

[39:26] he has characters pushing each other in subtle ways or in overt ways

[39:30] to their limits, you know, that and often not

[39:34] not even necessarily in that kind of overt kind of like manipulation game.

[39:37] But just because people

[39:38] people push people around and they use people, you know, in real life.

[39:41] And so but there's just Russell Crowe just doesn't have the

[39:43] he doesn't have the the taste of blood to go after that sort of thing.

[39:47] You know, meanwhile, at home, Jake's daughter finds

[39:52] blood irregularity tests.

[39:53] And was I seeing correctly that he had tests for everybody,

[39:56] like all of his friends and all of his family and.

[40:00] What she sees upsets her, and she calls her stepmom, and her stepmom is like,

[40:03] I know you're upset because Jake had a vasectomy, it turns out.

[40:06] Well, no, I mean, like, she starts talking about it, like,

[40:09] I think that what happens is...

[40:11] Oh, so she thinks she found the stepmom's blood tests.

[40:14] No, I think that what happened is the daughter, like,

[40:17] the mother thinks that the daughter has found out that she's having an affair.

[40:20] Yes, yes, you're right, you're right.

[40:21] And the mother is like, you know, she starts telling the story, like,

[40:25] you have to understand, like, I wanted to have another child sometime,

[40:29] and I found out that your dad, like, had this vasectomy without telling me,

[40:34] you know, and he just came home and he had done this thing.

[40:36] I just want to mention, Dan, this is two movie episodes in a row where you're spitting rhymes.

[40:39] Your dad had this vasectomy without telling me.

[40:41] Dan, you've got to release an album.

[40:43] Yeah, thanks.

[40:45] But it... and then, like, the daughter cuts her off, and it's like,

[40:50] dad's dying, he's got pancreatic cancer, which is, like, a shock to the mom,

[40:53] and she breaks down, and she's like, I'm going to come to you.

[40:55] But the funny thing to me in that situation was,

[40:57] it never gets back to the daughter being like,

[40:59] now, why were you telling me that vasectomy story?

[41:02] Mm-hmm.

[41:04] Like, there's a daily thread here that I'm curious about.

[41:07] But you've explained it better.

[41:08] The stepmom thinks that the daughter has found the proof that she's pregnant.

[41:13] Yeah, so they decide, she goes, I'll pick you up, we're going to head to the country house.

[41:16] There's more poker, all the guys are looking tense and sweaty,

[41:20] and it's edited together in this weird way where we see them looking calm,

[41:23] and then it'll cut to a shot of them looking sweaty with their hair disheveled,

[41:26] and I was like, is that happening in their minds?

[41:29] Like, is he trying to illustrate their emotional sense?

[41:31] But no, it's just jumping around in time.

[41:33] And one of the staff members that Jake sent home,

[41:36] he's ambushed on the road and kidnapped by the crooks.

[41:39] And that's when Jake's security system goes bling,

[41:41] and he sends the lawyer, Sam, to investigate.

[41:42] Uh-oh, we think for a moment, there's crooks in the house.

[41:45] It's just Drew, the missing friend.

[41:47] Riddick is here, and Jake sends Penelope home,

[41:49] because once Drew is here, the game is over.

[41:51] Yeah, this was odd to me, by the way.

[41:54] Like, the dealer, again, not used in the film for any particular purpose.

[42:00] She goes into what, like, looks like a closet to, like, change out of her dress.

[42:05] It's like a locker room, yeah.

[42:06] Yeah, like, she, like, she...

[42:09] Rich people's houses are crazy, dude.

[42:10] We see her, like, back and her back tattooed.

[42:13] She's, like, taking her top off,

[42:14] and then she's, like, fondling some money on a shelf.

[42:18] She's like, oh, there's money in here.

[42:20] She finds, in a case, like, piles of money.

[42:22] And I was like, is that her payment, or is that money that's kind of come in handy?

[42:26] And I think it's just that Russell Crowe just has stacks of money all over his house.

[42:29] I think that that's it, too.

[42:30] Like, because it doesn't seem like she's like, oh, I'm taking this money.

[42:33] She's like, oh, look, there's this money.

[42:34] And, again, makes me think, like,

[42:38] is this setting it up that she's going to take this money that is needed later on?

[42:42] No, this is just nothing.

[42:44] Like, she disappears from the film,

[42:46] having done nothing or said anything of importance.

[42:50] Here's exactly what I think happened.

[42:51] I think this is why she's in the movie,

[42:53] that Russell Crowe said to Liam Hemsworth, he goes,

[42:57] hey, I've got a surprise for you.

[42:59] And he goes, what?

[43:00] I'll show you on the first day of shooting.

[43:01] And they show up, and then he brings her out, and he goes,

[43:04] I cast your wife in the movie, too.

[43:06] And Liam Hemsworth is like, that's my brother's wife.

[43:08] Don't you get me mixed up with my brother, Chris?

[43:10] And Russell Crowe goes, it's a joke.

[43:11] It's a joke.

[43:12] Oh, boy.

[43:13] I got to figure it out.

[43:13] Hold on a second.

[43:14] This was a mistake.

[43:15] Oh, no.

[43:16] Oh, no.

[43:17] You know, I thought Thor was showing up at the movie.

[43:19] I can't tell the Hemsworths apart.

[43:20] And Russell Crowe's casting director is like, I told you

[43:23] there was more than one Hemsworth.

[43:24] But anyway, so, but she leaves.

[43:27] It's a pointless moment.

[43:29] More than one of that perfect man?

[43:31] Impossible.

[43:34] This is how we all felt watching the Social Network until

[43:36] we learned the truth about Armie Hammer.

[43:38] So the, here's, I will say, for a moment that is totally

[43:42] unnecessary, seeing her in that room, you don't see any,

[43:48] there's no nudity in it.

[43:49] But seeing her unzipping her dress and then seeing that money

[43:51] in the case is a moment of, like, real kind of seeminess and

[43:58] sleaziness that hints at a more interesting and kind of like

[44:01] more thrilling movie and a movie that has more going on in

[44:04] it, a darker movie.

[44:05] So it's both a completely unnecessary moment and possibly

[44:08] the most evocative moment in the entire movie.

[44:11] So Drew's there and they go, okay, game's over.

[44:14] Drew goes, hey, everybody, we used our secrets, our super

[44:18] secret spy software that we sell to governments. As a prank,

[44:21] we used it to spy on all of you and we discovered your real

[44:24] problems. And Jake reveals, he goes, I've poisoned everyone's

[44:27] drinks tonight because I'm dying of cancer.

[44:29] Now we're on the same level.

[44:30] And Mikey goes, well, I'm at the end of my robe.

[44:32] I'm an alcoholic.

[44:33] I was going to shoot myself tonight.

[44:34] And Alex goes, I've been having an affair with your wife and

[44:36] she's pregnant with my baby.

[44:37] And Paul goes, I'm being blackmailed.

[44:39] There's a sex tape of me out and I ran out of money.

[44:42] So the crooks demanded I give you the, give them the information

[44:44] about your house and so they could rob it.

[44:46] And here's what I think is funny.

[44:47] He doesn't know the code to the house because the crooks have

[44:50] to get the code in the movie.

[44:51] So what did he tell them that Jake has a house and gave them

[44:54] the address? Like what information did he give them?

[44:56] I don't know.

[44:57] Yeah.

[44:57] Well, also, I just find everyone's reactions in the scene utterly

[45:02] bizarre because no one, like, they really take the fact that

[45:05] they've been poisoned pretty well.

[45:07] They seem like a little, like, shocked and saddened.

[45:11] I will say, threatening him, like, crying, like, asking for

[45:17] an antidote, not an anecdote.

[45:20] Give me an anecdote.

[45:21] While I'm dying, you know, eases me into the other life with

[45:26] something humorous.

[45:27] Well, while I'm dying, can you tell me about the time that

[45:30] you had lunch at a table next to John Lewis?

[45:32] I've just always loved that story.

[45:34] Yeah.

[45:34] Now, here's the thing.

[45:36] For another perspective on this, Dan, when I was, I know you

[45:39] watched the movies with Audrey.

[45:40] I was watching this with the famous stoic philosopher Epictetus

[45:43] and he was like, they're doing it right.

[45:45] They're doing it exactly right.

[45:46] You learn that you've been poisoned and you just take that

[45:49] information and you just accept it and you move on with your

[45:51] life. And I was like, really, Epictetus?

[45:53] I would think that even if you were poisoned, you'd have a

[45:55] bigger reaction.

[45:55] And he goes, if I did, then you should just take all my books

[45:59] and throw them in the garbage because I'm a hypocrite.

[46:01] Yeah.

[46:01] He said, try me, bro.

[46:03] Yeah.

[46:04] And then Hypocrisies came out and that was, he was like, did you

[46:08] ask for me?

[46:09] And I said, no, I said hypocrite.

[46:10] Yeah, that's exactly.

[46:12] Yeah.

[46:12] And so I hang out with a lot of ancient Greeks.

[46:14] Anyway, so ancient Romans.

[46:16] So the crooks, meanwhile, so they take that information pretty

[46:21] well and they give up their secret information and Jake takes

[46:24] that secret information pretty well.

[46:25] And why wouldn't he knows it already from where he knows it

[46:27] all?

[46:27] Yeah.

[46:27] And meanwhile, outside the crooks are threatening the staff

[46:30] member. It's a very dumbly complicated scene where Penelope

[46:33] drives out and the gate is open for a little bit and it's

[46:37] starting to close and they're like, give us the code to the

[46:40] gate. And the staff members like, no, no, they're asking for

[46:43] the code to get and he says, no, he won't give him the code

[46:45] to the gate and then Penelope drives out, which leaves the

[46:47] gate open and then closing and they shove him in between the

[46:51] gate and the post and they say, tell us the code or else the

[46:54] gate will kill you.

[46:55] And he tells them the code just a little too late and gets

[46:57] impaled.

[46:57] Yeah, they're like, stop the gate by standing there and he's

[47:02] like, it'll crush me.

[47:03] It would crush your car.

[47:04] And so then they threaten him with the crushing.

[47:07] And I did think it was kind of funny that he gives them the

[47:10] number just a little too late.

[47:11] He gets crushed anyway, because you know, if I'm in that

[47:14] situation, I'm just going to give him the fucking code right

[47:17] away.

[47:18] Yeah, it's not worth it.

[47:20] But also like, why don't they just run in while the gates open?

[47:24] Yes.

[47:24] That's what I was wondering.

[47:25] Why do they have to bring their car in?

[47:27] Why couldn't they get this in?

[47:28] So there's still art.

[47:29] They're not connected to the car.

[47:35] That's the thing.

[47:36] They are.

[47:37] They are connected to the car because it by by long strength

[47:39] by long strings.

[47:40] They were they were electric-powered guns.

[47:44] They happen to be powered by the car's battery earlier in the

[47:48] earlier.

[47:48] This is a deleted scene earlier.

[47:50] The kind of big muscly guy is like, don't worry.

[47:52] I want to make sure we don't lose our guns.

[47:53] So I tied them to the car.

[47:55] Good thinking.

[47:58] Rocky.

[47:59] So so the and we learned that the crook who is also blackmailing

[48:04] Paul is his older brother Victor and then Jake reveals.

[48:08] I didn't give you enough poison to kill you.

[48:10] Just to loosen you up anyway, and we know you're all screw-ups

[48:15] and that's why when we gave you shares in riffle long time ago

[48:18] and you sold them instantly.

[48:20] That's why it was Drew's idea to secretly hold back some shares

[48:23] that are still in your name 25 million dollars in poker chips.

[48:27] There's actually the shares you own in riffle this evil covert

[48:30] software that we're talking about as if it was just any other

[48:33] type of product and not a hugely problematic thing for the main

[48:36] character to have invented.

[48:37] Yeah, something that dilutes any possible sympathy you have for

[48:41] this dying man.

[48:42] I yes, I mean he already he's a billionaire.

[48:44] So already you're like, okay time for the guillotine bud, but

[48:47] when you find out that he's also actively hurting the world even

[48:50] more you're like man get him out of here.

[48:53] You're like, oh, I'm glad that the hero is helping the Spanish

[48:55] government to arrest Catalan protesters by by spying on their

[48:59] phones and things like that.

[49:00] Yeah.

[49:00] Oh man, I hope this guy shits himself to death.

[49:02] So Dan you look like you're about to defend Russell Crowe.

[49:06] What were you going to say or Jake his character or billionaires

[49:10] in general?

[49:12] I don't I mean like obviously if you have more money than you

[49:16] can use to that degree, you should do something with it.

[49:19] I don't inherently like I mean I'd go as far as if you've made

[49:23] a million dollars you've done something bad to somebody.

[49:25] No, that's probably true.

[49:27] But no, I'm more just baffled by like, I guess this was all a

[49:33] way to tell them about these shares like the poker game was

[49:36] just like surprise the stuff that you thought you're you know

[49:39] winner take all it's just these shares.

[49:42] I don't know.

[49:42] It is not clear still to me what the whole point of any of it

[49:45] was. I think the movie was this is a movie that was adapted

[49:48] from the scene in the treehouse of horror with the evil crusty

[49:51] doll when the when the the the man who owns the magic shop is

[49:56] like you can buy this doll because the doll has

[50:00] is cursed. That's bad news. But it comes with free Frohgurt. That's good news.

[50:04] The Frohgurt is also cursed. That's bad news. But it comes with your choice of toppings.

[50:10] That's good news. The toppings contain sodium benzoate. I just want to go now.

[50:15] It's like throughout the movie, Russell, Jake is being like, hey, good news. You get this car.

[50:19] Bad news. You got to play poker with me. Good news. It's a lot of money. Bad news. I poisoned

[50:24] you when I'm dying. Good news. I left you a lot of money. Bad news. There's crooks here.

[50:28] And you're just like, I don't. Again, what is this game you're playing? It's not a fun game.

[50:32] I don't understand that. It's not Heads Up.

[50:37] No, it's not Heads Up, the game everybody loves. Yes. Yes, thank you, Substitute.

[50:46] His friends are like, why couldn't we have just played Apples to Apples? Everybody wins.

[50:50] Let's just get some Jackbox stuff. Come on. Yeah, just throw a fucking Jackbox game on.

[50:55] Break open the Jackbox. Yeah, come on. So anyway,

[50:58] goes Jake. I thought we were going to play Cranium tonight.

[51:02] So again, like I always think it's funny when like one friend in this story, like a bunch of

[51:09] childhood friends, one guy's a zillionaire and all his friends are all like, you know,

[51:13] various levels of success. And like I always think back, I'm like, if my childhood friends and I

[51:18] all met up, they're not my friends anymore. But if they were like,

[51:21] will you just play like Warhammer or some shit? And I don't know, they would probably drug me.

[51:27] I wouldn't die because I'm built different. I think we all know that.

[51:30] Yeah, of course. You're one of God's chosen and he wouldn't let that happen.

[51:35] So he'd send an angel in the form of a magic fairy to magic the poison out of your system.

[51:40] Yeah. Thank you.

[51:41] The crooks and the fairy would, of course, die with the effort,

[51:44] but would know that she had sacrificed her life to save again God's chosen.

[51:47] Yeah, true hero. Yeah.

[51:48] Yeah. So the crooks show up the art and and the art thief is additionally disappointed

[51:53] in Jake's art collection. And he says this thing is Australian art.

[51:56] They make a point of saying Australian, Australian. That's true. Except for the

[51:59] one big painting we'll find later, all of his art is Australian. And he goes, he goes,

[52:03] I didn't know it was aboriginal art. This is very hard to sell. The buyer has to connect

[52:08] spiritually with the piece, which is such a funny way for the art thief to be set up

[52:12] complimenting Jake as a character that like, oh, yeah, he must he has a deep soul.

[52:16] He's spiritually connected to this. Yeah. But then there's like

[52:20] an old scene of like he goes through a bunch of stuff. He's like, oh, this is a million dollars.

[52:24] This is like he goes through a bunch of it. And like the the thing turns into like this

[52:28] weird antiques roadshow for like a moment for a while. It's them pricing art and him just explaining

[52:34] that. I mean, if this is the one saving grace of the movie is that it introduced me to a number

[52:38] of Australian painters I'd never heard of before. Kind of basically what they do. And I was like,

[52:43] maybe I'll look up some of these that like that this is it almost feels like the Australian

[52:48] government board was like, we need someone to make a film telling people about the wonders

[52:53] of Australian painting. And Russell Crowe's like, I'll do it and then turn it into this movie.

[52:57] It is at least 10 percent art content. It means it means at least seven minutes of people naming

[53:02] Australian painters. Yeah, I mean, if I'm going to watch something from a tourism board, I guess

[53:08] I'd rather watch this than those fucking Qatar ads that keep showing up where I'm like, oh,

[53:12] I don't think this is accurately representing the situation. Yeah, I don't I'm not don't know

[53:17] the ones you mean, but I'm I can probably imagine they're the ones that talk about all the migrant

[53:20] laborers that die in the construction of the buildings. It's weird that they talk about that

[53:24] in the ads or that tourism ad. We watched Infinity Pool. That was pretty my favorite.

[53:32] It's very funny. That's the thing I always imagine with David Cronenberg is that every

[53:36] time the Canadian film board watches one of his movies or one of his is the other

[53:40] Cronenberg's movies that they're like, you did it to us again. Once again, you promised it would

[53:45] be a Canadian tourism movie and you gave us this thing about people making their bodies all weird.

[53:53] They're like, all right, Cronenberg cackles like an elf.

[53:59] OK, guys, it goes, OK, we're here together to watch the new David Cronenberg movie. I know

[54:04] we've been bit before, but he promised us that this one, Land of Timber, will really talk about

[54:09] our natural resources. Of course, he had to change the title to Crimes of the Future, he says. But OK,

[54:13] let's watch it. And then when it's over, they're just like, God damn it, we got Cronenberg's again.

[54:22] He goes, there's only one solution. We got to make it so that Canada's big new industry is

[54:26] surgery performance. That's the only way we're going to be able to justify this.

[54:31] I guess surgery is the new sex. I guess surgery is I guess that's our new Canadian tourism board

[54:36] slogan. Surgery is the new sex. I like how you slip in. So maybe maybe Selene, why don't you

[54:45] drop some bars on this one? There's a lot of people of Irish descent in Canada. I'll play

[54:50] it off that way. So they walk around pricing art for a long time. Jake and the others see them on

[54:55] the security cameras and run to Jake's panic room where they all criticize where they don't have a

[55:00] phone. They don't have a phone and they criticize Jake for not having any guns. And they're like,

[55:04] how do you not have any guns? It's a panic room. Why don't you have guns? And they just it's all

[55:08] they care about. And I'm like, I mean, it's an American movie. They're so obsessed with guns.

[55:11] Again, Russell Crowe makes a good point. He's like, I have the pancreas. I don't need guns,

[55:15] but you do need a goddamn phone in there, Russell, to call the cops. That's number one.

[55:19] So you can call fucking love lines. You're going to be bored in there. You can call

[55:22] love line and ask Dr. Drew what he's going to say some bullshit because he's a fucking hack.

[55:29] You can call into the request line.

[55:34] It's like, I guess I want I want to hear what a minute works on.

[55:37] What do they listen? Midnight oil. What do I listen down there?

[55:39] We're going to solve this short circuit to style. I'm going to call a request for

[55:42] help me, Rhonda, and then maybe hope someone gets the message.

[55:46] Yeah, although I do love the idea of him using a phone. He goes, now this is a one use phone.

[55:49] It's a burner. We got to use it. He calls up a radio station is like,

[55:52] yeah, I want to hear safety dance. So the crooks realize that the house isn't empty

[55:59] because there's all this half drunk wine sitting around in cigars.

[56:02] Victor, the lead crook, he does what everyone would do,

[56:05] picks up someone else's cigar that their gross mouth has been on and starts smoking it.

[56:09] And an end up and a glass of wine and starts drinking that, too,

[56:12] because he's apparently a toddler who just picks stuff up and puts it in his mouth.

[56:16] Dan, what are you going to say? Well, I also want to say this is a part

[56:19] that baffled me because they get when they first come into the house, they keep they keep being

[56:24] like, oh, it seems like someone's here or like someone's here, like when they like first.

[56:30] I mean, I guess by this point, I don't know, is the wife there yet?

[56:34] I don't even know. She hasn't shown up yet.

[56:35] OK, but like, yeah, they're like it seems like someone's here and

[56:41] they've been told that he's going to be there. Yes.

[56:44] The guy has told Victor there's going to be people at the house.

[56:48] Jake will be at the house. I find this so strange.

[56:51] Surprised. Yeah, I can understand if Victor didn't tell the other crooks that he's like,

[56:54] we're doing this heist. I'm not going to tell them.

[56:56] But even Victor acts surprised, which is weird.

[56:58] But then he knows they're there. He starts demanding Jake come out of the panic room.

[57:01] And that's when the art specialist, he puts two and two together with some clues that

[57:06] the the bruiser crook tells him about a painting about a man in a funny hat smoking a pipe.

[57:11] And he realizes there's a saison in Jake's kitchen and it's a 200 million dollar painting.

[57:16] And he keeps saying that's a 200 million dollar painting.

[57:18] He's like the kind of people have paintings like that are not the kind of people that you want to

[57:21] fuck over. And I kind of like that element because it is like a moment where he's like,

[57:26] I'm in over my head because, yeah, that kind of money like that's an erase you kind of money.

[57:30] If you don't even consider the fact that the guy made his money

[57:34] figuring out all your information or consider the fact that, like,

[57:38] as someone points out later on, like fine art is a is a hard thing to fence.

[57:44] Or consider the lilies. They neither spin nor do they weave.

[57:48] But these crooks who, like, come into like a billionaire's home and immediately,

[57:51] like, I think they're unmasked. Yeah, these are not the people.

[57:56] I don't even know if they're wearing gloves while they're walking around in there.

[57:58] Yeah, this they are. It's it's so they're acting so dumb the whole time that, in fact, he's like

[58:05] he's like, steal me that saison. And it's like people know what saisons there are and who owns

[58:09] them. Like, it's not like they're not valuable comic books. There's not like a hundred copies.

[58:14] This is on an existence like. Yeah. So anyway, it's a it's all it's it's not a well thought

[58:19] through heist. But I guess very few art heists are. It's it's it happens a lot that I mean,

[58:24] it used to happen more, I guess, where famous paintings would be stolen from museums and then

[58:28] disappear because they could not be fenced or if they were fenced, they were so privately done.

[58:32] And that's why, like those paintings get destroyed because they don't want to be

[58:36] caught with them. And it's it's it stinks. I know there was a Winslow Homer painting that

[58:40] disappeared a long time ago. There's like the scream has been stolen multiple times.

[58:45] And it's like, why would you steal one of the most recognizable paintings in the world? Like,

[58:49] that's nuts. And why would you why would you have your house when it's destroyed by Monet?

[58:55] I guess at least with the scream, there are multiple. There are there are multiple the

[58:59] screams. Yeah, I feel if you go to any boardwalk, you can get like a shirt with it on it.

[59:03] Yeah, but that's not quite the same as having the original. Yeah, I don't know.

[59:07] It's can you put the fucking original on your body and protect you from the elements?

[59:12] Yeah, I guess that's where you get your joy. It's better as a great works of art.

[59:16] The scream and Stuart's torso at the same time. I mean, it's Stuart's combination. Yeah. I mean,

[59:22] obviously, I'll have to cut the sleeves off. Did we agree? Well, I imagine that that's

[59:26] an immediate result. I imagine you're cutting the midriff also, unless it's a full bleed

[59:31] copy of the scream on your shirt and all of it won't affect the actual image.

[59:35] So that's all over. I mean, it is so dope. I mean, the thing is, you don't need the scream

[59:40] on your shirt because people are going to scream when they see those ads. That's just the way it

[59:44] is. Yeah. I don't know. I'm a 42 year old man, almost 43. And if I have understood that somebody

[59:51] my age that has abs has to be a fucking psychopath or or or works in pornography,

[59:57] one of those two things. And also those are not mutually exclusive.

[1:00:00] Okay, so, Dan, were you going to say something about abs?

[1:00:04] Yeah, I was going to say something about abs, but then I realized it's just going to be retelling an anecdote that I heard on Blank Check.

[1:00:10] So I'm like, I'm not going to steal their content. Just go listen to Blank Check.

[1:00:14] That's fair.

[1:00:15] Yeah, just search abs.

[1:00:17] Abs plus Blank Check.

[1:00:19] Oh, look at these photos.

[1:00:24] Just fucking ask Jeeves about it.

[1:00:26] Jeeves will wake up from his thousand year slumber.

[1:00:31] While you're doing it, ask Jeeves about the birds and the bees, because I don't want to have that talk with you.

[1:00:37] No, no, you don't want to hear about that on the streets. You want to hear about that from Jeeves.

[1:00:40] If Kazuo Ishiguro has taught me anything, it's that an English butler is going to be able to explain this kind of stuff.

[1:00:47] Yeah, highly sexual.

[1:00:50] I'm surprised anything remained in that day after he's bent himself like that.

[1:00:57] Anyway, so, and Shadowlands, etc.

[1:01:02] So Jake's wife and daughter, they show up at the house.

[1:01:04] They fight the bad guys pretty well.

[1:01:06] I was hoping that she would beat their ass way worse.

[1:01:10] Because they do introduce her doing some pretty intense boxing.

[1:01:15] Boxing training, yeah.

[1:01:16] So I was hoping that she would just pound the shit out of them.

[1:01:19] And they would eventually subdue her.

[1:01:20] But for all the hits she gets in, it doesn't really affect anything.

[1:01:24] No, that's true.

[1:01:25] I mean, Victor has a metal face, apparently.

[1:01:27] So the punches don't hurt him that much.

[1:01:28] But again, our friend Anton is here.

[1:01:30] Guys, did you notice how they introduced her boxing in the first act?

[1:01:34] Now she's good at punching in the face in the third act.

[1:01:37] That's just good writing.

[1:01:39] That's what I say, Anton Chekhov.

[1:01:40] And in fact, it's the only way to judge good writing.

[1:01:43] If that happens, it's good writing.

[1:01:44] If it doesn't happen, it's not good writing.

[1:01:46] Okay.

[1:01:47] I mean, the ironic thing is Anton Chekhov introduces plenty of things in his plays that don't pay off exactly by the end of it.

[1:01:54] It's almost like we shouldn't take—

[1:01:56] Oh, like when he introduces Ray and then you find out that she doesn't have important parents or something?

[1:02:03] Like what the fuck?

[1:02:04] Yeah, it's crazy.

[1:02:05] It's almost like we shouldn't take one of the greatest writers in literature,

[1:02:09] just a supreme observer of human behavior and boil him down to a rule that doesn't have to be followed.

[1:02:16] Single aphorism.

[1:02:17] Yeah, single one.

[1:02:18] So single aphorism, also the name of my jazz album.

[1:02:21] So Jake tries to hold off the baddies with Mikey's gun even though it only has one bullet in it.

[1:02:27] And Victor sends the other two crooks to get the saison, and Jake starts psyching out Victor by saying,

[1:02:32] hey, I poisoned my friends with the wine glasses and you've ingested that poison also.

[1:02:36] And to sell the tale, he talks about how he poisoned Alex so that his second wife will get very mad about it.

[1:02:42] And he goes, you need the antidote, and it's in that safe.

[1:02:45] And while Jake opens the safe to get the antidote, his friends go up to the darkened kitchen and just prepare to ambush these crooks and fight them in the dark.

[1:02:54] Because they have gone from being so scared they need to hide in the panic room to being like, I guess we'll just beat them up.

[1:02:59] I guess seeing Jake's wife and daughter almost defeat these crooks has made them realize it's not the threat they thought it was.

[1:03:06] Yeah.

[1:03:07] Jake fills a syringe with what he said is the anecdote, and Victor takes it from him.

[1:03:11] Once again, antidote.

[1:03:13] If he filled a syringe with an anecdote.

[1:03:15] Yeah, if he filled it with an anecdote, you just have a story about a celebrity introduction in your bloodstream.

[1:03:23] Elliot and I fell victim to I think the same thing, which is that anecdote is a word that we say frequently in normal life.

[1:03:31] Whereas antidote, we've been fortunate enough to not have to say.

[1:03:34] To not have to, yeah.

[1:03:35] Unless I'm acting out the best scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, I find myself not saying antidote that much.

[1:03:42] So Victor seals the syringe and slams it in his leg and goes, now you can die of poison, fucker, or whatever, and then runs away.

[1:03:48] Falling for the easiest trick in the history of tricks.

[1:03:52] He's of course given himself a lethal dose of the truth serum.

[1:03:55] He stumbles off and dies outside, for some reason sprawled out like Christ on the cross.

[1:04:00] Like in that pose.

[1:04:01] And I sent these guys, of course, a picture.

[1:04:03] I like to say like Joker surrounded by knives.

[1:04:06] But that's fine.

[1:04:07] Yours works too.

[1:04:08] Whoever your messiah is.

[1:04:10] Whether you worship Jesus or the Joker.

[1:04:13] I mean really wasn't Jesus the original Joker?

[1:04:16] I think so.

[1:04:17] That bit about the prodigal son and all that.

[1:04:19] So I sent to Dan and Stuart, I texted them the other day, a picture of a stretchy Hulk toy that my son has that is also in the Christ on the cross pose for some reason.

[1:04:30] So I think we're overusing that pose.

[1:04:32] And lo, may the meek be Joker-fied.

[1:04:35] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:04:37] And when Hulk Christ said, if thine eye offends thee, smash it out.

[1:04:47] I come with a sword because I'm the strongest there is.

[1:04:52] Anyway, so forth.

[1:04:53] So the art thief in the battle, he fires his shotgun and is horrified to learn the only thing he's harmed is that Cezanne.

[1:05:00] He's just filled it full of holes and the boys are rough and tumble boys.

[1:05:04] They overwhelm the other two crooks.

[1:05:05] Jake unties the ladies.

[1:05:07] And we cut to our final VO, which goes on for a long time, where Jake is like, life is a game.

[1:05:14] You got to play it right.

[1:05:15] And he says this sentence that is so confusingly worded.

[1:05:18] I had to rewind it a couple times to make sure I had heard this one.

[1:05:22] I did write it down.

[1:05:23] Yes, he says.

[1:05:24] So Dan, do you want to try to recreate it from memory or no?

[1:05:28] I mean, he basically says the simplest idea that you can, which is basically like you affect other people in your life.

[1:05:35] You can't not affect other people.

[1:05:37] But he does it through such a web of, as I did the second time around, double negatives and clauses.

[1:05:44] And please.

[1:05:46] So this is what he says.

[1:05:47] And again, I rewound twice so I could hear this three times to understand, to make sure it was as as weirdly phrased as he says.

[1:05:54] I've never been misguided in understanding that the way we've created opportunity for ourselves hasn't had an effect on the lives of others.

[1:06:01] Which is like, hold on a second.

[1:06:02] Let's break it down.

[1:06:03] So I've never been misguided.

[1:06:05] OK.

[1:06:06] In understanding.

[1:06:07] So that I haven't had illusions.

[1:06:10] I haven't had illusions.

[1:06:11] No one has ever said something.

[1:06:13] I've never like what he wants to say is, I guess, like I've never been under the impression that what I do doesn't affect others like Dan said.

[1:06:19] Yes, I've never been misguided in understanding that the way we've created opportunity.

[1:06:23] I think that's the part that hasn't had an effect on.

[1:06:25] So it's like, is he.

[1:06:27] So does he think he.

[1:06:28] Wait.

[1:06:29] So he does understand that he doesn't affect or he's never been misguided in thinking that it's it's a it's just such a it's such a confusingly worded way of saying a very clearly.

[1:06:37] I think that this is the admission that you've been waiting for.

[1:06:42] Perhaps that he's like, look, I know that our company is bad.

[1:06:48] Yeah, like I've had a lot of success and I've had success for my friends, but like I I'm aware that we have done bad along the way.

[1:06:56] But again, yeah, the weirdest way of putting that I've never been misguided in understanding that the way we've created opportunity for ourselves hasn't had an effect on the lives of others.

[1:07:07] It's like it's like he's daring you to misunderstand what he's saying.

[1:07:10] I mean, I think that this is like a Nixonian sort of mistakes were made kind of like I'm going to admit that I'm at fault, but in a very passive way.

[1:07:18] Yeah.

[1:07:19] Yeah.

[1:07:20] It's just it.

[1:07:21] But it's very.

[1:07:22] I.

[1:07:23] OK, I'll give you that one.

[1:07:24] And so the.

[1:07:25] So the other characters now meet for reading of Jake's will realize that this word salad is his last will and testament.

[1:07:31] Well, what a legacy.

[1:07:33] Seems like you got to revise it a few times.

[1:07:35] It was a document.

[1:07:36] But no, he got it perfect the first time.

[1:07:38] And he goes through all of them.

[1:07:40] And because, of course, big hearted Jake, the man who tortured everyone, it tortured everyone.

[1:07:46] He gave he gives half his money to charities.

[1:07:48] He says, including charities about gambling addiction.

[1:07:51] So I'm you know, it's like, you know, when when the Koch brothers are like, I know we're destroying democracy, but we are going to endow the New York Ballet Company with with a new set of costumes.

[1:08:00] So we did OK.

[1:08:01] And the rest is apportioned out to his friends.

[1:08:03] He has some he has some requirements.

[1:08:05] Paul has to leave politics.

[1:08:07] Mikey has to go to rehab.

[1:08:08] But in exchange, they get was it twenty five million dollars or something like that or fifty million dollars.

[1:08:13] And the rest of the money goes to his daughter.

[1:08:16] And he also has set up a trust for all of Alex and his wife's future children.

[1:08:21] And they smile at each other like, yeah.

[1:08:23] And it's it's just a weird moment.

[1:08:25] And he leaves them with a sermon.

[1:08:27] The camera goes off into the waves as if trying to escape the film.

[1:08:33] The deal goes into a sermon about friendship and you got to forgive imperfections and so forth.

[1:08:37] And we finally get to the credits.

[1:08:39] And after the first credit, Dan, there's that mid credit scene.

[1:08:42] What happens in it?

[1:08:44] We see that woman from the beginning who wanted to paint a picture of Russell Crowe.

[1:08:50] And so Stuart, you didn't see the scene like normally with the med credit scenes or did you?

[1:08:54] What happened?

[1:08:55] OK, so Stuart, I want you to get.

[1:08:58] I want you to I want if you didn't watch it.

[1:09:00] I want you to get.

[1:09:01] Should I close my eyes?

[1:09:03] What?

[1:09:05] So close your eyes and visualize it.

[1:09:07] What happens in this mid credit scene?

[1:09:09] We sunrise on on Pebble Beach.

[1:09:12] OK, interesting.

[1:09:13] We think Victor was dead, but his hand stirs.

[1:09:19] He's not dead.

[1:09:20] We have a sequel.

[1:09:22] So, Dan, is that what happens?

[1:09:23] Well, I mean, I don't know why Stuart would guess that because I already introduced the idea of a portrait lady from the beginning.

[1:09:29] But I still don't have no idea whether Stuart saw this or not.

[1:09:31] But anyway, she has won the portrait.

[1:09:35] She painted a portrait of Russell Crowe and she won the big contest.

[1:09:38] Looking sad as he looked at art.

[1:09:40] I mean, like just his face.

[1:09:42] But we know that's what the picture is.

[1:09:44] OK, it's fine.

[1:09:45] Dan, you can't tell if I'm being serious or not.

[1:09:47] Would you say that I have a poker face?

[1:09:50] Yeah.

[1:09:51] Well, now that you've suggested that I say it, I would say that I've done it on my own.

[1:09:57] And so we have.

[1:09:58] And so, again, just like our friend.

[1:10:00] Anton Chekhov would have demanded the woman introduced in the beginning is brought back

[1:10:03] at the end to book it.

[1:10:05] And it's one of those things where it's like, oh yeah, not only does Russell, not only is

[1:10:09] Russell Crowe, the, his character, I guess the greatest big hearted man in the history

[1:10:13] of the world.

[1:10:14] He is also a beautiful work of art that will inspire generations to come.

[1:10:18] He has become the art that he so loves.

[1:10:20] Yeah.

[1:10:21] Yeah.

[1:10:22] Now he belongs to the ages.

[1:10:23] Now he's become the art he so loves, but it's more of a twilight zone ending and he's banging

[1:10:26] on the inside of the painting going, no, no, I'm trapped.

[1:10:29] It's so funny that I, I ended up doing an inadvertent double feature with this and the

[1:10:34] fablements and it's so funny to see two movies that are like a sensibly about somebody's

[1:10:40] life or what, like the way they view their legacy.

[1:10:44] One of them amazing.

[1:10:45] One of them, not as much.

[1:10:47] Yeah.

[1:10:48] I wonder which was which.

[1:10:49] Yeah.

[1:10:50] One of them features David Lynch in a surprising role.

[1:10:52] Oh, that was, what a, what a wonderful, and here's the thing.

[1:10:56] Okay.

[1:10:57] I'm not, I'm not using the fablements.

[1:10:58] This is kind of a spoiler, but to see, there's something about seeing David Lynch appearing

[1:11:03] in that movie in a small role that is perfect because it's like, right.

[1:11:07] Not only do Spielberg and David Lynch, who would seemingly be the opposing sides of the

[1:11:11] filmmaker spectrum.

[1:11:12] Not only do they exist in the same world, but they, they operated at the same time in

[1:11:17] the same filmmaking world and I'm sure have known each other for some time.

[1:11:21] And like, it's such a great, that moment it was like, it made me realize like, oh yeah,

[1:11:25] David Lynch has been part, like for an experimental filmmaker is a real part of the mainstream

[1:11:29] in a wonderful way.

[1:11:30] People know who he is.

[1:11:31] They know at least some of his movies and Spielberg for being maybe the most mainstream

[1:11:35] director there is, is someone who is a real artist.

[1:11:37] The way that Lynch, it was like, yeah, these guys are not that different.

[1:11:41] You know, I kind of can't believe that David Lynch was the second choice for the role.

[1:11:45] The first being, of course, Michael Bay was going to play that character.

[1:11:49] Now that would have been a different story.

[1:11:50] I don't know if that would have worked quite as well, but I love also that whenever David

[1:11:54] Lynch is in a movie, he plays it the exact same way, which is just to shout his lines

[1:11:57] as loudly as possible.

[1:12:00] And that beautiful flat voice of his.

[1:12:03] Yeah.

[1:12:04] I love it so much.

[1:12:05] What a treasure.

[1:12:06] Hey, why don't we do our final judgments, whether this is a good movie, a bad, bad movie

[1:12:11] or a movie we kind of like, this is what I'll say about Poker Face.

[1:12:15] It is definitely a bad, bad movie.

[1:12:18] I don't think anyone needs to see it at all, but it wasn't for me to have seen it, consign

[1:12:27] it to oblivion.

[1:12:28] Yeah.

[1:12:29] For me to have seen it, I found it interesting just because I'm like, this is such a bizarre

[1:12:33] cavalcade of like what?

[1:12:37] I don't understand how anyone thought this was a movie, especially someone like Russell

[1:12:44] Crowe, who's worked for so long.

[1:12:46] Well, it shows it feels very student filmy.

[1:12:49] That is, it is a clearly heartfelt kind of who knows how autobiographical depiction of

[1:12:54] his feelings.

[1:12:55] And yeah, it is.

[1:12:57] And from a story perspective and in some ways from a technical perspective, it just doesn't

[1:13:01] work.

[1:13:02] It feels like it doesn't go here.

[1:13:03] Never made a movie before.

[1:13:04] Yeah.

[1:13:05] Yeah.

[1:13:06] It's not even the first movie he's directed.

[1:13:07] I think.

[1:13:08] Yeah.

[1:13:09] And I texted you guys like partway through.

[1:13:11] I'm like, I'm would love to like I'm waiting for this movie to figure out what it is.

[1:13:15] And it never does like it never seems to settle down into like, oh, OK, I know why this movie

[1:13:20] was made.

[1:13:21] Like, I have no idea what really the thinking was, like why this story was the story.

[1:13:27] So yeah, bad, bad, but interesting.

[1:13:30] It's I think it's it's I will also say bad, bad, yeah, but interesting to future biographers

[1:13:34] of Russell Crowe.

[1:13:35] I feel like it's it's he's he's unless I'm wrong, it really feels like he's putting his

[1:13:39] soul on celluloid and just, you know, failing to really communicate.

[1:13:43] But yeah, exactly.

[1:13:44] I feel a little bad at a certain level because I'm like, it seems like a passion project,

[1:13:48] I guess.

[1:13:49] But yeah.

[1:13:50] Yeah.

[1:13:51] Yeah.

[1:13:52] There's a I think there's a certain charm to the fact that it's it seems like a passion

[1:13:55] project.

[1:13:56] And if you are like, OK, I'm writing a fucking paper on Russell Crowe, I need to figure it

[1:14:00] all out.

[1:14:01] But I do love the idea that you're like, I don't know why this was made, you know, in

[1:14:05] an age where streaming services are killing people's access to movies and there's still

[1:14:10] so many movies that aren't even available physical.

[1:14:13] Can I watch Poker Face whenever?

[1:14:15] But I can't.

[1:14:16] I have like Ken Russell's The Devils was only recently made available to me.

[1:14:21] Yeah.

[1:14:22] Well, that's sometimes sometimes movies mean different things.

[1:14:25] Sometimes a movie is there to excite you with an exciting story.

[1:14:29] Sometimes it's there to touch your heart.

[1:14:30] And sometimes it's just there to be a sort of Russell Stone that helps you decode what's

[1:14:34] going on inside Russell Crowe at the moment.

[1:14:37] Yeah.

[1:14:38] OK.

[1:14:39] Zebras, orangutans.

[1:14:40] Oh, yes.

[1:14:41] Sorry.

[1:14:42] Hi.

[1:14:43] I'm not used to the animals talking.

[1:14:44] Who are you?

[1:14:45] Yes.

[1:14:46] My name is Carrie Poppy.

[1:14:47] I co-host a podcast called Anna Ross and Carrie.

[1:14:48] This is my co-host Ross right here.

[1:14:49] OK.

[1:14:50] We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal.

[1:14:51] And we were wondering if we could get on the ark.

[1:14:52] You did come two by two.

[1:14:53] I appreciate that, though.

[1:14:54] Most of the things I'm letting on the ark don't talk.

[1:14:55] I'm going to be talking all up on this boat.

[1:14:56] Do you mind being on the ark?

[1:14:57] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

[1:14:59] .

[1:15:00] I prefer ark.

[1:15:01] OK.

[1:15:02] I'm not listening.

[1:15:03] But if you let me on, then I will make my really good podcast on your boat.

[1:15:17] Can you at least help clean up all the poop?

[1:15:19] I guess I don't see why not.

[1:15:20] Well, I'll check out the podcast.

[1:15:21] Where do I find it?

[1:15:24] It's on maximumfund.org.

[1:15:25] Oh, my gosh.

[1:15:26] Hi, I'm Dave Holmes.

[1:15:28] I'm the host of the pop culture trivia podcast, Troubled Waters.

[1:15:32] On Troubled Waters, we play games like motivational speeches, and it goes a little like this.

[1:15:36] Riley, give us an improvised motivational speech on why people should listen and subscribe

[1:15:42] to Troubled Waters.

[1:15:43] I look around this ad and I see a lot of potential to listen to comedians such as Jackie Johnson

[1:15:49] and Josh Gondelman, and they need you to get out there and listen to them attempt to figure

[1:15:55] clues or determine if something is a Game of Thrones character or a city in Wales.

[1:16:00] I have chills.

[1:16:01] I'm going to give you 15 points.

[1:16:03] All that and so much more on Troubled Waters.

[1:16:05] Find it on maximumfund.org or wherever you choose to listen to podcasts.

[1:16:09] Hey there, Stuart here, and I am here with my wife, Charlene, who is going to talk to

[1:16:14] you about an upcoming super fun event at our bar, Minnie's.

[1:16:18] Hi everyone.

[1:16:19] I want to invite you to our event at Minnie's this coming Tuesday, Valentine's Day.

[1:16:24] It is all gender speed friending.

[1:16:26] It's all the fun of speed dating without the threat of hooking up.

[1:16:30] So this is not a coupling event.

[1:16:32] It's just for making new friends.

[1:16:34] And that is going to be this Tuesday, February 14th at 7 p.m. hosted by our very own in-house

[1:16:40] drag queen, Gisabella.

[1:16:43] And that's Minnie's Bar, Sunset Park, right near the 36th Street end stop.

[1:16:49] Let us move along to advertisements from our sponsors.

[1:16:54] We have them.

[1:16:55] They're very kind.

[1:16:56] Well, I mean, they pay us, but we have a nice symbiotic relationship where we talk about

[1:17:02] their great products and they give us money.

[1:17:04] And let me talk about one great product, which is microdose gummies from LumiLabs, a product

[1:17:13] that perhaps the usage of which makes it difficult to segue into ads, but makes my life better.

[1:17:22] I love that you were like, they give us money and we talk about their products.

[1:17:25] And then when you go into the products, that is maybe the most personal.

[1:17:30] Our show today is sponsored by microdose gummies.

[1:17:35] These morons give us money and then we talk about them anyway.

[1:17:37] So my mom says, no, no, no, they're great.

[1:17:42] Oh boy.

[1:17:43] What trouble am I getting us into?

[1:17:45] Our show today is sponsored by microdose gummies.

[1:17:48] Microdose gummies deliver perfect entry level doses of THC that help you feel just the right

[1:17:52] amount of good.

[1:17:55] Maybe you've had a stressful day, like Stuart so often does, and you need to turn off your

[1:18:02] brain.

[1:18:03] Yeah, just need to calm down, wind down at the end of the day.

[1:18:06] Take a gummy, watch Riccio, the story of Ricci, and drift off to sleep.

[1:18:10] Perhaps that sounds like a beautiful day to you.

[1:18:12] You can be Stuart in your own home with these microdose gummies.

[1:18:15] Now just for the record, LumiLabs would like us to talk about microdose gummies.

[1:18:19] LumiLabs has no opinion on Riccio, the story of Ricci.

[1:18:22] It's not necessary for the use of their product.

[1:18:24] Well, now I'm rethinking our sponsorship.

[1:18:28] It's another symbiotic relationship.

[1:18:29] I think that Riccio and microdose gummies enhance one another.

[1:18:36] Microdose is available nationwide.

[1:18:38] To learn more about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code FLOP, F-L-O-P,

[1:18:44] to get free shipping and 30% off your first order.

[1:18:47] Links can be found in the show's description, but again, that is microdose.com, code FLOP.

[1:18:53] I had someone mildly confused the other day saying that microdose.com slash FLOP directs

[1:19:02] you to nowhere.

[1:19:04] That's yeah, that's true.

[1:19:06] It does.

[1:19:07] That's a different sponsor.

[1:19:08] You can't.

[1:19:09] There's no slash.

[1:19:10] Just go to microdose.com and when they ask you for an offer code, use F-L-O-P.

[1:19:14] Hey guys, you all heard of the internet?

[1:19:17] Because I have.

[1:19:18] And one of the best parts of the internet are websites.

[1:19:21] Right?

[1:19:22] Everybody loves websites.

[1:19:25] Hasn't said anything incorrect up until now.

[1:19:27] Where's the line?

[1:19:28] Yeah, I don't miss.

[1:19:30] And our sponsor today is Squarespace and Squarespace helps you with websites.

[1:19:34] They're an all in one platform for building your brand online and growing that business.

[1:19:39] You have business that's online, you got to have a website and Squarespace is the way

[1:19:42] to do that.

[1:19:44] You can stand out with a beautiful website, not just a piece of crap, you can get a really

[1:19:46] good one.

[1:19:47] You can engage with your audience, sell anything you want, like products, content you create,

[1:19:51] even your time.

[1:19:52] Your time's valuable.

[1:19:53] Why don't you get paid for it?

[1:19:55] So you can sell your products on an online store, you can sell physical or digital.

[1:20:00] products, all kinds of stuff.

[1:20:02] You can create pro-level videos effortlessly.

[1:20:05] That's right.

[1:20:06] We're professionals.

[1:20:07] We will say the stuff you can make is our level of quality.

[1:20:12] More higher, higher than the level of quality, yeah.

[1:20:16] And you can display posts from your social media profiles

[1:20:18] on your website.

[1:20:20] You can cross post.

[1:20:21] You don't have to be like Stuart and Dan

[1:20:23] hurriedly messaging each other pictures

[1:20:25] so we can all share them on our various socials.

[1:20:28] You can do it all in one place on Squarespace.

[1:20:30] So head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial.

[1:20:38] And when you're ready to launch, use offer code flop,

[1:20:41] that's F-L-O-P to save 10% off your first purchase

[1:20:46] of a website or domain.

[1:20:48] Hey guys, we want one last thing we wanna tell you about.

[1:20:51] I mentioned at the top of the show

[1:20:52] and I'm gonna mention it now slightly longer.

[1:20:55] Bell House is once again coming right to your door

[1:20:58] if you live at the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York.

[1:21:01] We're gonna be there Sunday, April 2nd.

[1:21:03] It's our first live show in a while.

[1:21:05] Sunday, April 2nd, 7.30 p.m.

[1:21:07] We're gonna be talking about Battlefield Earth.

[1:21:10] It's a classic bad movie.

[1:21:11] We're gonna talk about it.

[1:21:12] And because it's a live show,

[1:21:13] it means we're not just sitting behind a table

[1:21:15] talking about a movie.

[1:21:16] We'll also be standing up and talking to you.

[1:21:18] First, in the form of presentations

[1:21:20] that you'll only see if you go to the show.

[1:21:22] Each of us will do, as always,

[1:21:23] an original PowerPoint presentation.

[1:21:25] Those are very funny.

[1:21:26] People like them.

[1:21:27] They're really fun.

[1:21:28] I know what my presentation is gonna be about.

[1:21:28] I think you're gonna like it.

[1:21:29] And Dan, do you know what yours is gonna be about?

[1:21:32] I don't.

[1:21:33] I have an idea for part of it, for an element.

[1:21:35] I gotta say, maybe it's just because it's something different

[1:21:37] than what we normally do on the show.

[1:21:40] I really love doing these presentations.

[1:21:42] It's kind of a pain to put the PowerPoint together

[1:21:44] as any work is, any effort,

[1:21:47] but it all pays off and just a lot of fun on stage.

[1:21:51] And it's super fun.

[1:21:52] And anyone who saw our Masters of the Universe

[1:21:54] live remote show,

[1:21:55] saw Dan's Mustards of the Universe presentation,

[1:21:58] give you a taste of how beautiful it can be.

[1:21:59] So then we're gonna talk about the movie

[1:22:01] and then we're gonna take questions and answers

[1:22:02] from you, the audience.

[1:22:04] So it's Sunday, April 2nd, 7.30 p.m. in Brooklyn

[1:22:07] at the Bell House, our old stomping grounds,

[1:22:09] talking Battlefield Earth.

[1:22:10] Buy tickets now.

[1:22:11] They're at www.thebellhouseny.com

[1:22:15] and look up in the calendar and we'll be there.

[1:22:17] It's gonna be great and it's happening

[1:22:19] right before Passover,

[1:22:20] so I'm gonna be in that Passover spirit.

[1:22:22] I'm gonna be extra excited.

[1:22:24] Yeah, that you're not gonna have plagues visited upon you.

[1:22:29] Yeah, I mean, I would be the one

[1:22:30] visiting the plagues on others.

[1:22:31] I don't know if you're familiar with how that,

[1:22:32] what the Jews do in that story,

[1:22:34] but it's, you know, the plagues were on our behalf, yeah.

[1:22:38] Yeah, well, I mean, but there's a middleman.

[1:22:41] I mean, they're for you,

[1:22:44] but you didn't ask for the plagues per se.

[1:22:47] No, that's not true.

[1:22:48] It's not what we asked to be free from the Pharaoh

[1:22:50] and God decided that the quickest way to do that

[1:22:52] would be to throw a bunch of frogs and blood and stuff

[1:22:54] at the Pharaoh, yeah, sure.

[1:22:56] Pull a P.T. Anderson and throw some frogs at the Pharaoh.

[1:23:00] That was what it was that God had seen Magnolia

[1:23:02] and was like, that's what I should do to free the Hebrews.

[1:23:04] Yeah.

[1:23:06] Are we ready to move on

[1:23:07] or do you have anything else, Elliot?

[1:23:09] No, that's all.

[1:23:10] I could talk about Maniac of New York.

[1:23:11] Don't call it a comeback, number one,

[1:23:13] which is in comic stores now, but.

[1:23:15] Good issue, liked it.

[1:23:16] Thank you, it might be sold out by now,

[1:23:18] but stay tuned because issue two is gonna come out too.

[1:23:20] All right, well, then we'll move along to letters

[1:23:23] from listeners like you.

[1:23:24] This first letter is from Russell, last name withheld.

[1:23:28] Uh-oh, Russell Crowe.

[1:23:30] Good day, mate.

[1:23:31] I wanted to tell you about the movie Poker Face.

[1:23:34] I hope you like it.

[1:23:34] I can't wait to hear your thoughts.

[1:23:36] Cheers and kisses, big fan, Russell.

[1:23:38] Heartbreak feels good in a place like this.

[1:23:43] He's trying to get you to go back to the theaters

[1:23:44] to watch Poker Face.

[1:23:45] Yeah, I mean, I gotta tell you,

[1:23:47] as much as people make fun of that little video,

[1:23:50] it was so, I was so happy to see it

[1:23:52] after the 25 minutes of trailers

[1:23:54] that were before my screening of Megan that I went to.

[1:23:57] And I was like, ugh, this tells me that it's gonna be,

[1:23:59] the movie's gonna start soon, good.

[1:24:01] Yeah, okay, well, this is from Russell who writes,

[1:24:04] which romantic comedy do you think goes furthest

[1:24:07] to depict a really fucked up unhealthy relationship

[1:24:10] as charming and sweet?

[1:24:12] Is it Simply Love Actually,

[1:24:13] or is it something slightly subtler like Failure to Launch?

[1:24:16] Stay safe and awesome, Russell.

[1:24:20] I feel like we can't,

[1:24:21] like Love Actually is filled

[1:24:23] with so many bad examples of relationships.

[1:24:24] You should probably take that one off the table, right?

[1:24:27] Yeah.

[1:24:28] It's throwing off the curve, yeah.

[1:24:29] It throws off the curve, yeah.

[1:24:30] Although I will say that,

[1:24:32] so Audrey always likes to know what the questions are.

[1:24:35] She's curious, she's curious like a cat.

[1:24:39] And she was wondering- Dana's married to a cat, yeah.

[1:24:41] I'm married to a cat.

[1:24:42] I married a cat coming this fall.

[1:24:47] But we were hard pressed to find,

[1:24:49] we were harder pressed to find a rom-com

[1:24:52] that shows like a good relationship.

[1:24:55] This is exactly what I was gonna say.

[1:24:55] Yeah, there is one, it's called Pretty Woman.

[1:24:58] It's about a generous gray-haired daddy.

[1:25:02] I mean, it makes sense to me.

[1:25:04] Who doesn't mind that his love interest

[1:25:06] has a career outside of their relationship.

[1:25:09] Thank you.

[1:25:10] But it's true, I started researching this,

[1:25:12] and I was like, I'm starting to think

[1:25:15] that there aren't any romantic comedies

[1:25:17] that don't have toxic, unhealthy relationships, yeah.

[1:25:20] Yeah, I think that a large part of it is the comedy

[1:25:24] comes from like mishaps in the relationships

[1:25:26] and like cute bickering.

[1:25:30] And a lot of those things, the mishaps

[1:25:33] and the cute bickering, when transferred to real life

[1:25:35] would be pretty unpleasant.

[1:25:37] Well also, and the way relationships tend to work in life,

[1:25:39] not always, but tend to work is you meet someone,

[1:25:42] there's a mutual attraction,

[1:25:43] you continue to get to know them,

[1:25:45] a relationship grows, and that's it.

[1:25:48] Whereas movies are all about,

[1:25:50] there's gotta be like someone wants someone else,

[1:25:53] and there's an arc to the plot,

[1:25:54] and it's a challenge they've gotta overcome.

[1:25:56] Or something's keeping them apart,

[1:25:58] and usually the easiest version of that

[1:26:00] is just that they're already in relationships or whatever.

[1:26:01] Like an actual relationship does not have

[1:26:04] a dramatically interesting arc,

[1:26:05] which is why they're wonderful.

[1:26:06] Like it's one of the things that makes them so good.

[1:26:08] You're saying all rom-coms are bad, so let me see.

[1:26:11] The Big Sick, huh, somebody.

[1:26:16] What?

[1:26:17] I mean, I'm not saying they're bad movies,

[1:26:18] but even if that is somewhat based in reality,

[1:26:21] the idea that like, isn't it adorable

[1:26:24] how you kind of pretended you were my boyfriend

[1:26:26] while I was in the hospital?

[1:26:27] I mean, to be honest, it's just a real life version

[1:26:29] of While You Were Sleeping, basically.

[1:26:31] Uh-huh, I just watched that.

[1:26:33] What a Chicago movie.

[1:26:34] But even then it's like, oh, I found the man of my dreams,

[1:26:36] and all I had to do was pretend

[1:26:37] that his comatose brother was my fiance.

[1:26:40] Like it's, you know.

[1:26:40] Yeah, I mean, like we're going through like,

[1:26:43] okay, four weddings and a funeral.

[1:26:45] Like they hook up a couple times,

[1:26:47] but she has a secret like fiance,

[1:26:50] and then like the third wedding is hers,

[1:26:54] and then like that breaks up.

[1:26:56] But by that time, she's like involved in like a sham,

[1:26:59] like almost marriage, like the fourth wedding is,

[1:27:02] and that breaks, and we're like, this sounds horrible.

[1:27:04] And then like, we're like, okay, sleepless in Seattle.

[1:27:08] Like Meg Ryan basically like-

[1:27:09] Kind of stalker-y, right?

[1:27:10] Peers a guy and like stalks him,

[1:27:12] and like the thing that makes him,

[1:27:15] like her the perfect woman is that she peels an apple

[1:27:18] like Tom Hanks' dead wife.

[1:27:20] Like that's not something to build a relationship on,

[1:27:23] and then like-

[1:27:23] Yeah, what is this, birth with Nicole Kidman?

[1:27:25] Come on.

[1:27:26] Never been kissed, she's pretending to be a high schooler.

[1:27:29] Or even if you go back, and it doesn't matter

[1:27:31] how far back you go, so you go to like the shop

[1:27:32] around the corner where the whole idea

[1:27:34] is that they hate each other during the day,

[1:27:36] but they're pals who love each other,

[1:27:38] and you know, there's no-

[1:27:41] I mean, I love His Girl Friday,

[1:27:43] but it's all about manipulation, and like-

[1:27:46] I mean, I wouldn't necessarily call that a romantic comedy.

[1:27:49] Because there's a romance in it,

[1:27:50] but it is a woman being essentially gaslit

[1:27:53] by the man in her life.

[1:27:55] Because she's too valuable a reporter to let go.

[1:27:58] Not even because he loves her that much,

[1:27:59] but just because she's just too good

[1:28:01] to leave employment at the newspaper.

[1:28:03] But once again, a man who doesn't care

[1:28:04] that his love interest has a career,

[1:28:06] so you know, that's a positive thing.

[1:28:09] Thanks for selling it to me, Stuart.

[1:28:10] I will say, as is often the case,

[1:28:12] maybe don't take your life lessons from the movies.

[1:28:16] Yeah, never.

[1:28:19] Here's the other thing I was gonna say about rom-coms.

[1:28:21] Before we go, it's similar,

[1:28:22] is that rom-coms teach you to never take no for an answer,

[1:28:26] from a perspective of interest,

[1:28:27] which is to take no for an answer.

[1:28:29] Go find someone else.

[1:28:30] Don't convince them that they should love you.

[1:28:32] That's not how love works.

[1:28:33] Like, ugh, you're terrible.

[1:28:36] Phil Lasting withheld writes,

[1:28:37] dear Dan, Stuart, and Elliot,

[1:28:38] I've been listening to The Flophouse for years now.

[1:28:40] Thank you.

[1:28:41] And one of my favorite reoccurring joke structures

[1:28:44] is the air bud.

[1:28:46] There's no rule that says a dog can't play basketball riff.

[1:28:49] It turns out that that line,

[1:28:51] and indeed the whole plot of the movie, Air Bud, is a sham.

[1:28:55] I was watching old-

[1:28:55] Wait, wait, it's not based on a true story.

[1:28:57] There's, wait, there's no dog in it?

[1:29:00] Where's this gonna go?

[1:29:02] I was watching old Looney Tunes episodes on HBO Max

[1:29:06] the other night.

[1:29:07] Well, you can.

[1:29:08] Rest in peace.

[1:29:09] Yeah, as long as it's-

[1:29:10] Enjoy it while it's there.

[1:29:12] Ugh, what a terrible, anyway,

[1:29:14] and came across a 1954 episode I'd never seen before

[1:29:18] called Gone Batty.

[1:29:20] In it, an underdog baseball team

[1:29:22] is getting clobbered by their opponents,

[1:29:23] and everyone on the team is struck out.

[1:29:26] Rather than forfeit the game,

[1:29:27] the team sends in their mascot, a live elephant.

[1:29:30] When the opposing team complains,

[1:29:31] the referee pulls out a rule book and declares,

[1:29:34] there's nothing in the rule book

[1:29:35] that says an elephant can't play baseball.

[1:29:39] The rat-bastard writers of Air Bud

[1:29:41] fully ripped off this Looney Tunes episode

[1:29:44] with a plot of their 90s children's movie.

[1:29:46] Can't believe they did it.

[1:29:47] My question-

[1:29:48] And they would've gotten away with it, too,

[1:29:49] if not for Philip.

[1:29:50] My question to the three of you is,

[1:29:52] what are the most egregious examples

[1:29:53] that you can remember of movies

[1:29:54] just wholesale stealing major plot points from older films?

[1:29:59] Plot-tastically,

[1:30:00] There's Phil Lestang withheld.

[1:30:02] The first thing that came to my mind was not egregious

[1:30:04] because they like hang a lampshade on it.

[1:30:07] They call it out.

[1:30:07] But I like how in office space, they're just like,

[1:30:12] yeah, we're just running the scam from Superman 3

[1:30:15] where they take all the rounded up pennies

[1:30:19] and deposit them.

[1:30:20] Yeah, I mean, and if we're talking about rom-coms,

[1:30:23] we can talk about 10 Things I Hate About You

[1:30:25] that just rips off Shakespeare, right?

[1:30:27] Those rat bastards.

[1:30:28] Here's the thing, here's the thing.

[1:30:30] I wanted some clarification from Phil.

[1:30:31] Do they mean stealing a whole plot,

[1:30:34] which is, I would say-

[1:30:36] A plot of a good movie.

[1:30:37] I think a plot point.

[1:30:39] Or plot points, because again, researching this,

[1:30:42] I was like, sometimes I'll go online,

[1:30:43] I'll research just to create ideas in my head.

[1:30:45] And there were things that were like,

[1:30:46] these great movies were stolen from other movies.

[1:30:49] And it'd be like Taxi Driver and The Searchers.

[1:30:51] And it's like, okay, well, there's a difference

[1:30:53] between a movie being inspired by

[1:30:55] and taking the framework of another movie

[1:30:57] or the themes of another movie and reinterpreting it.

[1:31:00] That's how art works.

[1:31:01] The same way that there are multiple paintings

[1:31:03] that are takes on pre-existing paintings.

[1:31:07] I mean, even in cases where one of them I saw

[1:31:09] was Yojimbo and A Fistful of Dollars,

[1:31:11] which the movie was,

[1:31:12] that's why Akira Kurosawa wrote a letter

[1:31:14] to Sergio Leone saying, you made a good movie,

[1:31:16] but it's my movie.

[1:31:17] That was my movie and you just remade it.

[1:31:21] So I wonder if there's something about stealing plot points

[1:31:23] and Dan's not gonna be happy with me.

[1:31:25] But the one that came to mind right off the bat

[1:31:27] was that Tobey Maguire scene in Babylon

[1:31:30] where I was like, wow, they've got the chutzpah

[1:31:31] to rip off the Alfred Molina scene in Boogie Nights,

[1:31:33] a movie that is not old enough for them to just be like,

[1:31:36] eh, nobody's gonna realize we're just taking this

[1:31:38] from another movie.

[1:31:39] I mean, no, it's true.

[1:31:40] But on the other hand, they did add an alligator to it.

[1:31:44] That's true.

[1:31:45] They added an alligator, that's fair, yeah.

[1:31:48] That's the rule.

[1:31:48] If you add an alligator, you can get away with anything.

[1:31:50] I don't know if you heard,

[1:31:52] when they're making Boogie Nights,

[1:31:53] they're like, should we have an alligator here?

[1:31:55] And they're like, I don't know.

[1:31:56] Alfred's insisting we have this alligator in the scene,

[1:31:58] but they ended up cutting it just due to cost reasons.

[1:32:00] Because they were gonna use

[1:32:01] this complicated animatronic alligator

[1:32:03] that wears sunglasses.

[1:32:05] It was just too expensive, yeah.

[1:32:08] Yeah, and it was repurposed for La La Crocodile

[1:32:10] many years later, yeah.

[1:32:12] They said, we have to make a movie using only props

[1:32:14] that only exist in the warehouse right now.

[1:32:17] Oh, this is animatronic alligators, has never been used.

[1:32:19] Property of PTA, what does that mean?

[1:32:24] Do you have any?

[1:32:25] Yeah, I don't know, like, I don't know,

[1:32:28] like The Raid and Dread, who knows?

[1:32:29] They're both great movies, they're very similar.

[1:32:32] Watch them both, they're awesome.

[1:32:33] Yeah.

[1:32:35] Okay, well, it seems like we're running out of steam

[1:32:38] on this list, let's roll right in.

[1:32:41] And the other one that came to mind was,

[1:32:42] except is that movie, The Island, which was-

[1:32:45] The Clonus.

[1:32:46] Which was so sued by the makers of parts,

[1:32:48] The Clonus Horror, because it was such a rip-off of it.

[1:32:50] But again, that's more of a like,

[1:32:54] I wanna think about this again for the future,

[1:32:56] movies that seal like a plot point,

[1:32:58] where it's like, oh, wait, I saw them do this

[1:33:00] in this other movie, you know?

[1:33:01] Yeah.

[1:33:02] Yeah, I know it exists.

[1:33:04] That does often feel more, if you take a whole plot,

[1:33:07] you have to reinvent it or else people are just gonna say,

[1:33:10] oh, this is just the same thing,

[1:33:11] whereas it does sometimes weirdly feel more egregious

[1:33:14] if it's just a plot point,

[1:33:15] because people will borrow a thing

[1:33:18] and they're just like, well, I've seen this before this way,

[1:33:21] couldn't you have done it a different way?

[1:33:23] Yeah, there's a movie called,

[1:33:25] there's a Japanese samurai movie called Kill

[1:33:27] that there's one point where I was like,

[1:33:29] wait a minute, I saw this movie before, but it's-

[1:33:31] I've seen people get killed in movies.

[1:33:34] They take the plot from a movie called

[1:33:36] Three Outlaw Samurai, I think it was,

[1:33:37] and they just kind of insert it for a couple scenes

[1:33:39] into that movie and have the main character of Kill

[1:33:41] get involved, and there's part of me that was like,

[1:33:43] that's pretty funny.

[1:33:44] Like if you're making a movie

[1:33:46] and you just take the plot of a recent movie

[1:33:49] and just kind of stick it in your movie

[1:33:50] and have your character screw it up,

[1:33:52] like that's a funny way to do it.

[1:33:54] I now realize that when you say the main character of Kill,

[1:33:57] you just meant like the main character

[1:33:59] who is in the movie Kill, but for half a second,

[1:34:02] I thought you're saying that the main character

[1:34:04] is called Kill.

[1:34:06] Like the main character of Kill did this thing.

[1:34:10] Yeah, yeah, Captain Kill shows up and yeah.

[1:34:12] Okay, recommendations.

[1:34:15] Movies that we saw, enjoyed.

[1:34:18] I'm gonna recommend-

[1:34:18] Do we enjoy movies?

[1:34:20] I'm actually gonna jump in because Dan and I,

[1:34:21] before we get to individual recommendations,

[1:34:24] I just want to throw out a group recommendation.

[1:34:28] Dan and I got the opportunity to see

[1:34:30] a special secret screening of the movie,

[1:34:33] The People's Joker, a movie that was, what was it, Toronto?

[1:34:38] It played at TIFF and then-

[1:34:39] Yeah, it played once and then was pulled.

[1:34:41] Then got pulled and hit with a bunch of legal bullshit

[1:34:44] from Warner Brothers.

[1:34:46] And so we were both, when we got the opportunity to see it,

[1:34:49] thanks to Flophouse listener, Peter,

[1:34:51] you know who you are.

[1:34:55] I really didn't know what to expect,

[1:34:56] but I was really excited to see it because

[1:34:58] it's one of these movies that you can't really see

[1:35:00] and there was a lot of positive buzz.

[1:35:02] And I feel like the positive buzz did not prepare me

[1:35:05] for really how good it was.

[1:35:07] It has kind of like a manic, almost Tim and Eric energy,

[1:35:12] and also the energy from being a movie made

[1:35:15] by a bunch of talented weirdos

[1:35:17] who kind of collectively put this thing together

[1:35:20] all under the helmsmanship, I'm sure,

[1:35:22] of Vera Drew, The People's Joker.

[1:35:25] And it manages to also,

[1:35:26] despite how like wacky and silly it is,

[1:35:29] it manages to also be like a very like-

[1:35:33] Touching narrative.

[1:35:34] Yeah, touching like emotional queer coming of age story.

[1:35:39] And it was really great.

[1:35:40] And it's like, it's crazy to me that Warner Brothers

[1:35:43] doesn't just buy it and put it on HBO Max.

[1:35:45] Yeah, and it's mapped so cleverly

[1:35:49] to years and years of different iterations of Batman.

[1:35:55] Like it is both this like heartfelt,

[1:35:59] queer coming of age comedy,

[1:36:01] and it is like a nerdy movie too.

[1:36:05] And it's-

[1:36:06] Yeah, an examination of like onscreen Batman

[1:36:09] through the years.

[1:36:10] Yeah, it's a very interesting movie and a lot of fun.

[1:36:12] But does it have the,

[1:36:13] ♪ Da da da da da da, hey, da da da da da, song in it. ♪

[1:36:19] I don't know, wait, what's the-

[1:36:21] Wait, he's talking about the Gary Glitter,

[1:36:25] Joker dancing down the stairs.

[1:36:27] Oh!

[1:36:28] That was this, so I hadn't seen the movie Joker yet,

[1:36:31] but I saw on Twitter someone like posting that scene

[1:36:34] and saying like,

[1:36:35] oh, one of the most glorious moments in film

[1:36:37] that I never played it with the sound on.

[1:36:38] And then I finally played it with the sound on once

[1:36:41] and that song played and I was like,

[1:36:42] oh, so this is a joke.

[1:36:43] Like there's no way they use that song

[1:36:44] in this moment in the movie,

[1:36:45] that would be stupid.

[1:36:46] And then I watched the movie and I was like, what?

[1:36:49] I thought that was a parody.

[1:36:52] I thought it was like when they take the dance scene

[1:36:54] in Back to the Future

[1:36:55] and they have him playing death metal.

[1:36:56] Like I thought that's what it was.

[1:36:58] But I really hope to see the People's Joker.

[1:37:00] I've heard nothing but good things about it.

[1:37:01] Yeah, I'm really hoping,

[1:37:02] if you have an opportunity to see it,

[1:37:04] I highly recommend checking that out.

[1:37:06] Yeah, as recommendations go,

[1:37:08] maybe not the most useful one right now

[1:37:10] because you probably can't see it.

[1:37:12] But what little weight the flop house has.

[1:37:16] We say it falls under fair use and parody.

[1:37:18] So it should be imbuable.

[1:37:20] So take that to the courts.

[1:37:23] As someone who owns a certain amounts of IP myself,

[1:37:27] I am on the fence about it.

[1:37:29] But as a movie goer, I'm saying release that film.

[1:37:33] As someone who owns the rights to a conflict character,

[1:37:35] I'm saying, I wanna learn more about the case.

[1:37:37] But that's me being selfish.

[1:37:40] Okay, so back to other recommendations.

[1:37:43] Back to life, back to reality, yeah.

[1:37:44] Another film that Stuart and I saw together.

[1:37:48] Sorry, Elliot.

[1:37:49] I feel like we're making you real jealous now.

[1:37:51] Yeah, yeah.

[1:37:52] We went out and saw-

[1:37:53] I wasn't ready to be this jelly.

[1:37:55] Infinity Pool on Friday night.

[1:37:58] Brandon Cronenberg, David Cronenberg's son.

[1:38:02] Continuing the family scam

[1:38:03] of stealing money from the Canadian film board.

[1:38:06] With weird ass movies.

[1:38:10] I really, I, you know, this is a tough one

[1:38:12] because like, if this is not for you, I get it.

[1:38:15] I get it.

[1:38:18] Well, and we also, we saw the baby version that's R-rated,

[1:38:21] not the full sicko version that played at Sundance.

[1:38:23] That apparently has footage

[1:38:25] of Alexander Sarsgaard ejaculating on camera.

[1:38:28] God fucking damn it.

[1:38:29] Now I get to watch it again.

[1:38:33] But this is, yeah, this is a tough one

[1:38:35] because like, it's not for everyone.

[1:38:38] Most movies are not for everyone,

[1:38:40] but this even more so.

[1:38:41] But this one especially, it sounds like, yeah.

[1:38:43] But I really enjoyed it.

[1:38:45] I don't, like, I knew very little going in,

[1:38:50] but I did know the, I did end up learning the basic plot.

[1:38:54] And I don't even really want to give that.

[1:38:55] I'll give the start to the basic plot,

[1:38:58] which is just wealthy couple, or at least one of them.

[1:39:01] The wife is wealthy.

[1:39:02] The husband is sort of a hanger on,

[1:39:05] on vacation encountering another wealthy couple.

[1:39:07] They go outside.

[1:39:08] It's like a, it's a developing nation

[1:39:11] that's made up for the purpose of this movie.

[1:39:14] And it's very dangerous outside the tourists,

[1:39:19] like the resort that they're at.

[1:39:20] But they go outside.

[1:39:22] The writer ends up killing a man

[1:39:24] and all sorts of trouble ensues.

[1:39:28] And if you think you know where it might go, you do not.

[1:39:31] It is a, it is definitely a Cronenberg family project.

[1:39:37] Not that David had anything to do with it,

[1:39:38] but you know, it has this,

[1:39:39] it carries his spirit along with him.

[1:39:41] Yeah, partly because it's funny.

[1:39:44] Yeah.

[1:39:44] Like, it's very funny.

[1:39:45] Like people, I think, who talk about how extreme it is

[1:39:48] have been missing that it's basically like.

[1:39:50] It's funny.

[1:39:50] Yeah, this weird oddball comedy.

[1:39:54] I love the idea that David and Brandon

[1:39:55] are locked in this Oedipal complex

[1:39:57] where they're trying to outgross each other

[1:39:58] to be like the patriarch.

[1:40:00] And I just want to point out like I feel like it's it's such a popular thing right now in popular media for

[1:40:09] People to like the skewering of the rich to be a part of it

[1:40:13] But so often it also is tied in with like lifestyle porn where it's like these rich people are assholes

[1:40:19] But look at all this cool shit, and I feel like this movie does not give you that yeah

[1:40:23] I mean, I would say that there's a certain beauty to it, but it's like that beautiful dread that you get in

[1:40:29] Like if you like the vibes of this kind of thing like some sick part of you might want to visit but

[1:40:36] Yeah, I want to be sick to my stomach for a while, but yeah, it does not it does not glamorize any of that

[1:40:42] Yeah, it's about it is

[1:40:44] It's about the wealthy it is about

[1:40:46] Seeking sensation when you've become just as nice in a weird way. It's about what it's like to go on a vacation

[1:40:53] Yeah, it's about being you know, like a seeker of the far reaches of

[1:40:59] So what I'm hearing is it's kind of like Hellraiser goes Hawaiian. Yeah

[1:41:03] That's actually not too far off. Yeah, it was it was a blast. Also. I walked out of it. I'm like that wasn't that weird

[1:41:10] I'm like your skewed samples. Yeah, it was like normal style shit

[1:41:16] It was great

[1:41:18] Along the same lines my recommendations gonna touch on that stuff. I'm recommending Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio. That's right

[1:41:26] another vacation

[1:41:29] It is you know

[1:41:32] Obviously going to it like I have a long. Yeah, I've been following Guillermo del Toro's career for a long time

[1:41:39] And I was excited about the idea of a stop-motion animation story, but honestly, I've seen so much Pinocchio shit lately

[1:41:45] I'm kind of sick of it, but it is

[1:41:47] It is so beautiful and it's so well told and like it's so human and there's something about like the

[1:41:54] Physicality of the stop-motion stuff. I know all the ads are focusing on that

[1:41:57] But like it is something to see the fucking like grain on the fucking resin figurines almost and there's moments where you're watching it

[1:42:05] You're like, how the fuck did they do this? Like there's a part where?

[1:42:10] Geppetto's like kicks a balloon and it bounces around. I'm like, how the fuck do you animate this shit? It seems crazy

[1:42:17] And there's it's so like and the there's a few songs in there and they feel so natural and

[1:42:24] beautiful when they show up and

[1:42:26] It's it's fucking sad and great and fun and it talks about like

[1:42:33] fascist Italy

[1:42:34] it's really great and there's a

[1:42:36] There's and if you watch on Netflix, there's also a beautiful making of

[1:42:42] Which shows you a lot of that stuff and

[1:42:44] Then of course you can also if you live in New York

[1:42:48] Like I do I was able to go to MoMA this week and check out the exhibit where you get to actually see

[1:42:54] Some of the puppets that were used in the production and it's so amazing

[1:42:59] And it's it's a really beautiful

[1:43:01] It's a really a beautiful work of art like an amazing achievement. And if you get a chance, it's on Netflix. You should watch it

[1:43:08] It's great. I

[1:43:09] Am going to recommend a different movie, which is okay

[1:43:13] Not that I'm saying those movies are not good movies. Just I'm recommending a different movie. I took it to myself a challenge

[1:43:18] I don't take it as this. Yeah, we're don't take this as a slammer

[1:43:20] It's not just that I chose a different movie to recommend not those movies. Fine. Great. Yeah, I mean, it's good

[1:43:28] Yeah, exactly, I took it as a challenge I said this movie is not a very good poker movie

[1:43:33] What is a better poker movie? And so I decided a movie I like more about poker and gambling is California split

[1:43:39] Almond

[1:43:40] 1974 so Elliot Gould is a professional gambler. He befriends George Segal

[1:43:44] who's kind of a casual gambler who is sliding into addiction and

[1:43:48] we're kind of with George Segal as he his an obsession grows in intensity and

[1:43:53] just it seems irretrievability and

[1:43:57] He essentially gambles himself out of the gambling lifestyle

[1:44:00] And it's kind of a it's a picture of two men's friendship

[1:44:03] that is an unhealthy friendship for both of them and how it starts and continues and ends and

[1:44:08] It's really good. There's funny moments in it. There's Sarah there's serious moments in it. They're they're both really great in it

[1:44:13] and

[1:44:14] It has something to do with kind of real life and it's not afraid to push its characters into

[1:44:18] Kind of foolish or uncomplimentary

[1:44:20] situations or have them do unlikable things as opposed to poker face which doesn't have the courage of its convictions and is afraid to do

[1:44:25] Those things so if you want to see a movie about people really struggling with

[1:44:29] Card playing and with gambling but in an entertaining way, but in a way that's both entertaining and affecting California split

[1:44:35] I know I'm going out on a limb here by recommending a Robert Altman movie

[1:44:39] But you know, give him a try give him a try on this one

[1:44:42] But that is what I mean like for I think because it was sort of hard to see for a while

[1:44:47] It wasn't like available for a little while. That is one that doesn't get quite as much attention

[1:44:51] I mean, it's now it does but like but it definitely it was for a long time

[1:44:56] It was seen as definitely kind of second-tier Altman. Yeah, it wasn't at the level of Nashville or something like that, you know

[1:45:01] Yeah, but I mean I that's one of my personal favorites. So it's great

[1:45:05] It's

[1:45:06] See it before you see dr. T and the women, you know before you go to late-stage Altman, you know, yeah

[1:45:10] well at this point I would say see it before you see mash one of his biggest hits which is

[1:45:15] Marred by a lot of bad stuff that in general isn't in Altman movies, but no, it doesn't work

[1:45:21] Well, I think the well

[1:45:22] Yeah

[1:45:22] mash tapped into that a into that spirit of rebellion of the 60s and 70s that took the form of extreme misogyny and racism

[1:45:29] Yeah, it was like it was like and we're joking about it. So it's okay. It's okay

[1:45:34] It's like isn't it's time for all of us like white dudes to be free and live free and it's yeah

[1:45:39] It doesn't play golf. Well, we're anyway

[1:45:41] I mean, I understand what it's trying to say about the horrors of war and reaction to it, but it doesn't play as well anymore

[1:45:47] Yeah, um now that we love war it doesn't play as well. Yeah, we're like fucking into it

[1:45:55] For the skull throne, baby. Yeah. All right. Well

[1:46:00] That ominous

[1:46:04] Episode hey, if you like this show, why don't you go over to maximum fun org?

[1:46:08] We are part of the podcasting Network maximum fun

[1:46:13] Comedy and culture artists own listener support. You'll hear it at the end of the episode

[1:46:19] Check out some other great little preview spoiler alert

[1:46:23] Yeah for the logo

[1:46:26] And thank you to Howell Dottie

[1:46:30] Alex Smith is his real name

[1:46:33] You can find him under Howell Dottie on Twitter. What does he do for us Dan? He is our

[1:46:38] Producer our editor. We've been talking to him about other things that maybe we could do to extend the brand

[1:46:44] Who knows if they'll happen or not, but he's a very

[1:46:47] Talented funny man in his own right check out what he's up to not at all. Not at all the scraggly

[1:46:54] Loser painted him as in the Don't Worry Darling episode

[1:47:00] We got a little context there there was a private joke between Stuart and Alex that that made it a little more pleasant

[1:47:11] And thank you for listening this has been a treat for the flop us I've been Dan McCoy. Hey, it's me your boy Stuart

[1:47:19] Wellington that is good to see you

[1:47:23] Waiting for Stuart's finish so I could say good day. Bye

[1:47:33] Cranking it and start recording. Yeah, so we're talking about we're talking about so much money cranking it. I also

[1:47:39] I too would like to say that I'm recording. Okay, I thought you were going to admit to spending a bunch of money

[1:47:45] That's what I thought you're gonna say to Dan. I mean, I spent I've certainly spent money on related

[1:47:51] You know materials crank adjacent devices

[1:47:56] memorabilia's

[1:47:57] Yeah

[1:47:59] Mechanical devices mainly. Yeah, of course. Yeah, because

[1:48:02] Because you're all about cranking it with steam power. I am a traveler on the outer realms of pleasure

[1:48:10] Maximum fun org comedy and culture artists owned audience supported

Ep. #389 - Poker Face

Chapters

Transcript

Description