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FH Mini 73 - The 73rd Flop House Mini

mini Feb 4, 2023 00:44:17
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Transcript

[0:00] Ladies and gentlemen, live from the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion,
[0:05] welcome to the 73rd Bi-Weekly Flophouse Mini!
[0:18] Hello everyone, this is the Flophouse Mini, a celebration of film, fun,
[0:22] and whatever we happen to want to talk about at the moment.
[0:25] Normally on this podcast we watch a bad movie,
[0:27] but tonight we're bringing you all the glitz and glamour of the Academy Awards!
[0:31] I'm your host for this evening, Elliot Kalin, and joining me are my co-hosts...
[0:36] Uh, Dan McCoy. Sorry, I was looking to make sure that it was in fact the 73rd, as advertised.
[0:42] Uh, okay, I'm Stuart Wellington.
[0:45] I appreciate, Dan, your lack of faith in me, that I wouldn't look up the number on the website.
[0:50] Well, I didn't know whether it was some kind of joke I didn't quite understand,
[0:53] or whether it was accurate, and I was just curious.
[0:55] Nearly an accurate number. Well, thank you both for joining me today on this celebration of the Academy Awards.
[1:02] You know, the Academy Award nominations were just announced,
[1:05] and all of Hollywood is aflutter over who will take home Best Picture.
[1:09] Will it be the surreal family comedy of Everything Everywhere All at Once,
[1:12] the masochistic mind trip of Tar, or such original visions as the Top Gun sequel,
[1:18] the Avatar sequel, or the remake of All Quiet on the Western Front?
[1:22] Looks like we've got a lot of big new ideas in Hollywood these days.
[1:25] This guy's not pulling any punches.
[1:27] No, every, every, oh, you, just keep listening as we go through the episode.
[1:32] Every movie wants to win the Academy Award for Best Picture, because it instantly enshrines them in immortality.
[1:40] Just look at such film greats as Citizen Kane, Singing in the Rain, Strangers on a Train, and of course, being John Malkovine.
[1:47] Now, hold on, wait a second.
[1:49] Dan, what's wrong with this picture?
[1:51] The titles I listed all have one thing in common.
[1:54] What is that thing?
[1:55] Didn't win the Best Picture Oscar?
[1:57] That's right.
[1:58] None of those iconic classic films won the Best Picture Oscar.
[2:02] The last three weren't even nominated, because we live in a nightmare world
[2:06] where Singing in the Rain is not nominated for Best Picture.
[2:09] It turns out you don't need to be Best Picture to be a great movie,
[2:12] and the fact is a number of movies were named the Best Picture of the Year
[2:16] and then promptly forgotten, laid to rest in the tomb of the unknown Oscar winner,
[2:21] which you can visit in beautiful Hollywood, California.
[2:24] So this person actually won an Oscar, but we don't know who they were or for what.
[2:30] The movie won the Oscar and then was promptly deleted from the collective consciousness of the world.
[2:35] So we normally bury movies in tombs?
[2:39] In this reality that I'm creating, yes, movies are buried in tombs
[2:44] and they are not identified.
[2:46] They're actually running out of unidentified movies thanks to DNA technology.
[2:50] I mean, if they don't bury the mummy movies in a tomb, what the fuck are they even doing?
[2:55] That's a very good—well, that's in the tomb of the known mummy movies,
[2:58] which everyone knows what's in there. It's written on the cenotaph.
[3:01] Now, tonight we're going to play a little game called
[3:04] Name the 10 Most Forgettable Best Picture Winners.
[3:07] Now I know that that title is promising a bit much.
[3:10] Don't worry. It's purely for hyperbolic advertising purposes.
[3:13] These are just 10 forgettable best picture winners.
[3:16] Not necessarily the 10 most forgettable, but for the purposes of this episode,
[3:19] they are the 10 most forgettable best picture winners.
[3:22] So here's how it's going to work.
[3:24] I'm going to name the star of the movie and the genre.
[3:27] I'm going to name two stars from each movie, in fact, and the genre.
[3:30] If you can't guess the Academy Award, I'll also give you the year of the movie—
[3:34] sorry, I'll give you the year the movie won the best picture and the director's name.
[3:38] And if you still can't guess it, and this is not a game where you are competing against each other,
[3:42] this is a cooperative game, you can work together.
[3:44] If you still can't guess it, then you lose your movie snob license
[3:48] and cannot mansplain anything movie-related to your significant other
[3:51] until Todd Field makes another movie, and he just made one.
[3:54] So we've got as long as possible to wait for the next one.
[3:57] It's going to be a good six or seven years at least on your hands.
[4:00] So don't get these wrong because you won't be able to moviesplain to anybody or mansplain to any movies.
[4:05] Now, here's what I'm also going to say.
[4:07] I'm not saying these are necessarily bad movies.
[4:11] These are not necessarily bad movies.
[4:13] Here's what I will also say. Love it.
[4:15] Now, I mean, it's okay to have a segue that's not, like, a clever segue.
[4:19] You can say, now, another thing I'm going to tell you is, or furthermore—
[4:23] Thanks for mansplaining that one to the movie.
[4:26] I didn't get the questions wrong. I'm allowed to mansplain to you guys, my significant others.
[4:30] Now, I'm not going to say these are necessarily bad movies.
[4:34] Some of them are very good movies.
[4:36] These are generally movies that, despite winning Best Picture, have somewhat slid out of the minds of mainstream culture.
[4:42] You probably do remember these movies.
[4:44] But when you think of the great Oscar-winning movies, these might not be the movies that come to mind.
[4:49] When you think of the great films of cinema, they are almost certainly not the movies that come to mind.
[4:53] So they're not bad movies.
[4:55] We're not reinvigorating the Avatar has no cultural blueprint or footprint argument, right?
[5:03] We might have if Avatar had won Best Picture, but it didn't.
[5:06] Perhaps Way of Water will win Best Picture this year.
[5:08] It won't.
[5:09] But if it did, I mean, it's not that these movies have no cultural footprint.
[5:13] It's that more that when you think of what are the great films, what are the great iconic films of history?
[5:18] Mad Max Fury Road.
[5:19] Well, yes.
[5:20] These are not the movies that come to mind.
[5:22] These are not the movies that you see in montages of the most amazing iconic movies.
[5:27] I mean, Casablanca, it won Best Picture.
[5:30] That's legitimately a movie that is enshrined iconically in people's minds.
[5:34] Other movies like – what other Best Pictures winners are there?
[5:38] There's a couple good ones recently.
[5:40] Moonlight and Parasite were both great.
[5:41] Yeah, those are great movies.
[5:42] It's still a little soon to see if they – as opposed to like Nomadland, which won Best Picture the year before last.
[5:48] And I feel like has already been relatively forgotten by humanity at large.
[5:52] So wait, does Casablanca literally mean White House?
[5:57] Yes, it does.
[5:58] That's a good question, Dan.
[5:59] It's very germane to what we're talking about today.
[6:01] The name of the town is White House.
[6:04] No, it's just odd to think that like the city has the same name as the seat of government in our country.
[6:11] That's all.
[6:12] I've never heard of it before.
[6:13] Wow, Dan is fucking blazed tonight.
[6:15] Dan is full of hot takes, and that's what this show is all about, hot takes.
[6:19] Now, for instance, there's some – for instance, let's take a for instance.
[6:23] Rocky won Best Picture.
[6:24] Do I think that was the best movie of that year?
[6:26] No, but indisputably, it is an iconic movie with many moments that live on in people's memory as opposed to a movie like Million Dollar Baby, a very good movie that I forgot existed until I started researching this episode even though I remember going to see it and liking it in the theaters.
[6:43] So that's what we're talking about today.
[6:45] Now, again, I also want to say for the listeners at home, maybe these are some of your favorite movies.
[6:49] I don't know.
[6:50] It's possible I live in a bubble and everyone is always watching their DVD copies of Million Dollar Baby or Chicago or whatever.
[6:55] But these are the movies where you're liable to not either have heard of them recently or to be like, oh, right, I forgot that one Best Picture.
[7:02] So are you guys ready to test your best picture knowledge with some movies that you may have not thought about in a little while?
[7:08] I'm raring to go.
[7:10] This is –
[7:11] I have nothing else on my calendar tonight, so what do you have?
[7:14] That's great.
[7:15] You're free tonight?
[7:16] This time period has been blocked off to talk to both of you guys, so it's convenient that you have a topic for us.
[7:21] Excellent.
[7:22] That's great.
[7:23] Now, for the listeners at home who can't see, I am wearing black tie.
[7:26] They can attest to this, and I'm a little disappointed that you guys didn't dress up for the occasion.
[7:32] But I also didn't tell you ahead of time what we were doing tonight, so that's why.
[7:36] Okay.
[7:37] Now, for the beginning of the game, our first one.
[7:39] So this is a drama starring Dev Patel and Frida Pinto.
[7:43] This is your Million Dollar Baby is what this is.
[7:47] No.
[7:48] Incorrect.
[7:49] This is not Million Dollar Baby.
[7:50] Nope.
[7:51] Slumdog Millionaire.
[7:52] Stewart is right.
[7:53] I guess it shows you just how – again, you're cooperating.
[7:56] There's no points.
[7:58] I'm sorry.
[7:59] The word millionaire and million dollar.
[8:03] It shows how forgettable the movie is that I mentioned another movie with million in the title.
[8:06] That's what it was, and you incepted it into my sleepy mind.
[8:10] Yeah, exactly.
[8:11] I was like – I'm sorry.
[8:13] I apologize for that lapse.
[8:14] Exactly.
[8:15] So Slumdog Millionaire, what are your –
[8:16] Apologize to Danny Boyle.
[8:17] I know.
[8:19] And Lovleen Tandon who's also credited as co-director.
[8:22] I mean I'm not going to apologize to him for that movie.
[8:26] Like if I had forgotten.
[8:27] Oh, okay.
[8:28] If I had gotten like, I don't know, Sunshine wrong, an underrated favorite of mine or one of his Shallow Grave, Trainspotting, early classics.
[8:36] Yeah.
[8:37] Then again, just so when you think Danny Boyle, you aren't like, oh yeah, the director of Slumdog Millionaire.
[8:42] No, you think the director of Trainspotting.
[8:44] That's what you think.
[8:45] Yeah.
[8:47] So this is the kind of thing we're talking about.
[8:48] Well, Stuart, nice job.
[8:50] Dan, please remember that sometimes the same word can appear in multiple movie titles, and they aren't always the same title.
[8:56] Multiple forms.
[8:58] Yes, and also millionaire, million dollar.
[9:01] They mean the same thing.
[9:02] They share a root, but yeah, I apologize.
[9:06] It's interesting you say that because here's our first musical break, ladies and gentlemen.
[9:09] It's The Roots.
[9:11] Thank you, The Roots.
[9:12] Wow.
[9:13] And we're back.
[9:14] So this next movie.
[9:15] This next movie.
[9:16] This is a romance starring Juliette Binoche and Kristen Scott Thomas.
[9:21] Is this The English Patient?
[9:23] That's right.
[9:24] It's The English Patient, which won in 1996, beating Fargo.
[9:27] Now, if you were to ask me what is the more iconic of the two films, I might say Fargo.
[9:32] I might not say The English Patient.
[9:34] Again, not a bad movie, but a movie that I know I saw in the theaters, and all I remember is that a plane crashes at one point.
[9:40] Wouldn't you say something like, oh, it's Fargo, eh?
[9:43] Or something like that, right?
[9:45] Oh, don't you know?
[9:46] Yeah, wouldn't you?
[9:47] Say something like that?
[9:49] What situation would I say that in?
[9:51] I don't know.
[9:52] If you're auditioning for a role in Fargo.
[9:55] Yeah, exactly.
[9:56] You're going to your local fucking video store or gas station.
[10:00] I don't know what you have access to.
[10:03] And I would put rent, the movie?
[10:05] Yes, you go up to your fucking Redbox
[10:07] and you start slapping it and talking in
[10:09] fucking Wisconsin voice.
[10:11] In Fargeese. Okay, sure.
[10:13] Also, Ally doesn't even go, like
[10:15] his local gas station doesn't even rent
[10:17] videos. He just has to buy those, like, three
[10:19] movie collections that they always have
[10:21] in gas stations. Three packs.
[10:23] What pairs best with minute work?
[10:25] He's got
[10:27] Fargo's on the same disc as
[10:29] Minute Work and also, I don't know,
[10:31] Fled, let's say. Fled is on there.
[10:33] I wanted the Manchurian Candidate
[10:35] and I guess I also have to take Chill Factor
[10:37] for a night of
[10:39] thrillers.
[10:41] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[10:43] Oh, interesting.
[10:47] Yeah, those are
[10:49] maybe one of the greatest adventures
[10:51] man ever had was those random packs
[10:53] of movies where they're like, make it an action
[10:55] night. The Great Escape.
[10:57] Condor Man.
[10:59] Tango and Cash. And let's not
[11:01] forget Chain Reaction.
[11:03] Oh, this horror
[11:05] night has two of the
[11:07] Hellraiser movies on it and for some
[11:09] reason, Wes Craven's Shocker is also
[11:11] on there.
[11:13] Yeah, well, you guys are doing great.
[11:15] You're two for two, kind of. I'm gonna give you one and a half
[11:17] since Dan answered incorrectly for the first one.
[11:19] I'm gonna give you one and a half points. There are points,
[11:21] it turns out. Okay, this next one.
[11:23] Okay, this is gonna get a little harder. Now, one of the rules I made
[11:25] for myself is I wouldn't just use very
[11:27] old movies because that felt like
[11:29] it was a little unfair to me. There's certainly
[11:31] a number of movies from the 30s
[11:33] that I can't expect you to remember.
[11:35] But that's what this one is. This is a western
[11:37] starring Richard Dix and
[11:39] Irene Dunn. Richard Dix and
[11:41] Irene Dunn in a western. Richard Dix
[11:43] and Irene Dunn. Funny name.
[11:45] Dix and Dunn, the classic
[11:47] pairing. The classic duo of Dix and
[11:49] Dunn. Yep, Dunn and Dix.
[11:51] They broke up because she wanted to be Dunn and Dix.
[11:53] It's Dix and
[11:55] Dunn and Dix and Dunn
[11:57] is a third person.
[11:59] Sorry.
[12:01] So there are other clues that
[12:03] we can get at various times.
[12:05] So you can't name this
[12:07] best picture winning western
[12:09] starring Richard Dix and Irene Dunn. I'll remind
[12:11] you, this is one of the less than
[12:13] 100 greatest movies ever made
[12:15] in Hollywood according to the Academy Awards.
[12:17] Yeah.
[12:19] Do you have anything else that can give
[12:21] us, do you have any other hint or clues?
[12:23] I think this is going to help you. One best picture
[12:25] in 1931 and it was directed by Wesley
[12:27] Ruggles. Oh, wow.
[12:29] Yeah, you're a Ruggles fan.
[12:31] It's a different
[12:33] Ruggles than the one of Redcap, although that is
[12:35] also a western, but that's a western comedy.
[12:37] This is a historical
[12:39] pageant, this movie. What a magical
[12:41] world we live in that has multiple Ruggles
[12:43] in it.
[12:45] And some Wiggles. And let's not forget
[12:47] Ruffles, which have ridges.
[12:49] Yeah.
[12:51] I'm going to say I've
[12:53] no fucking idea.
[12:55] Okay, Dan, do you have
[12:57] any fucking idea?
[12:59] How about this? You've officially
[13:01] lost. This is a bonus.
[13:03] The title
[13:05] of the movie
[13:07] can be found in this box office
[13:09] animated bomb, Spirit
[13:11] of the blank.
[13:13] Beehive.
[13:15] It's an animated movie
[13:17] about a horse.
[13:19] Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron?
[13:21] Yes, that's what it is.
[13:23] It's Cimarron.
[13:25] The epic tale of the birth of the state
[13:27] of Oklahoma, which won best picture
[13:29] in 1931.
[13:31] It's crazy because, Dan,
[13:33] you watch that movie all the time.
[13:35] I see it on your letterbox.
[13:41] It has that little arrow thing that shows
[13:43] that you watched it a second time.
[13:45] There's no one in my 40s who can't
[13:47] spell cinnamon, let alone Cimarron.
[13:49] Yeah, that's true.
[13:51] Did you actually see a movie called Cinnamon
[13:53] and you accidentally wrote Cimarron?
[13:55] And then I watched The Cimarillion.
[13:57] Is that how it's spelled?
[13:59] Cimarillion? Yeah, sure, why not?
[14:01] Did they make a movie of that?
[14:03] Of course they did.
[14:05] Someday.
[14:07] Okay, we have one more
[14:09] question before it's time for us to take
[14:11] a short commercial break.
[14:13] I bet you're going to get this one.
[14:15] This is a circus movie starring Charlton Heston
[14:17] and Betty Hutton.
[14:19] Is this the greatest show on earth?
[14:21] It is the greatest show on earth, as seen in The Fablemans.
[14:23] Hey, no fair, Steven Spielberg.
[14:25] No fair trying to win a best picture
[14:27] by putting another best picture movie
[14:29] right inside your movie.
[14:31] Have you seen this, Elliot?
[14:33] Dan, I'm not done.
[14:35] Uh-uh, Stevie.
[14:37] I see what you're doing.
[14:39] Well, here's a question.
[14:41] That is generally pointed to...
[14:43] The Fablemans, more like The Cheetermans. Yes, Dan?
[14:45] That is pointed to as one of the
[14:47] worst best picture winners,
[14:49] but the part that I saw in The Fablemans
[14:51] looked pretty cool.
[14:53] What, when there's a train crash?
[14:55] Yeah, well, yeah, crashing into a car.
[14:57] Have you seen this movie?
[14:59] What's your feeling about this film?
[15:01] I have not seen it since I was a teenager.
[15:03] I remember being underwhelmed.
[15:05] I think I would like it more,
[15:07] but it's ambitious in terms of scope.
[15:09] It was a big adventure,
[15:11] but certainly when it won best picture in 1952,
[15:13] it was really more of a
[15:15] thank you Cecil B. DeMille
[15:17] for being one of our great showmen.
[15:19] Considering that year it beat
[15:21] The Quiet Man and High Noon,
[15:23] I would say The Greatest Show on Earth
[15:25] was not the best picture that year.
[15:27] Since, again, High Noon, an iconic Western,
[15:29] not my favorite Western, but iconic Western,
[15:31] and The Quiet Man, wait a minute,
[15:33] is in E.T., directed by Steven Spielberg.
[15:35] Steven Spielberg, why are you stealing
[15:37] I said it was a big adventure,
[15:39] but is it an awfully big adventure?
[15:43] An awfully big adventure?
[15:45] I don't know what you're getting at.
[15:47] That's another movie title.
[15:49] Oh, is it?
[15:51] You just put me in the place of remembering movie titles.
[15:53] Which one is the awfully big adventure?
[15:55] I think maybe Hugh Grant is in it.
[15:57] I'll look it up
[15:59] while you do other more important things.
[16:01] I mean, it certainly was not an excellent adventure
[16:03] like our friends William and Theodore had.
[16:05] So you said that High Noon
[16:07] isn't your favorite Western.
[16:09] Your favorite Western is still
[16:11] How the West Was Fun, starring the Olsen twins, right?
[16:13] You got it, because finally the West is fun.
[16:15] I've been waiting all these years
[16:17] for the West to be fun.
[16:19] I'm just going to guess Martin Muld
[16:21] is in that one, too.
[16:23] He's probably in it.
[16:25] If not Martin Muld, then some other classic comedy star
[16:27] who needs a paycheck.
[16:29] For the record, my real favorite Western
[16:31] is The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.
[16:33] That's a good one.
[16:35] Number two, The Gunfighter.
[16:37] That's also great.
[16:39] A movie that I saw, Elliot Style.
[16:41] Yeah, it's got good taste in Westerns, Dan.
[16:43] The Gunfighter movie I saw, Elliot Style.
[16:45] And I'm just like, oh,
[16:47] Turner Classic Movies has several
[16:49] stars in its star rating of this film.
[16:51] I'll record it.
[16:53] And then I enjoyed it very much.
[16:55] Watch the movie, Elliot Style
[16:57] involves wearing a little outfit
[16:59] and eating a big bag of red vines or something, right?
[17:01] I hate red vines.
[17:03] Dan, you need to eat salt all over yourself.
[17:05] I just wanted to say,
[17:07] number one,
[17:09] I was so glad that I went back in time
[17:11] in the episode to do that
[17:13] awfully big adventure joke.
[17:15] Referring to something that Elliot
[17:17] had said at least a minute earlier
[17:19] by that point.
[17:21] Because of the huge reaction it got.
[17:23] And not only that, cutting off Stuart,
[17:25] you know, whose road
[17:27] was a lot more fruitful
[17:29] than mine.
[17:31] Sometimes you gotta follow your muse.
[17:33] But I just want to say that an awfully
[17:35] big adventure does star Hugh Grant
[17:37] and Alan Rickman.
[17:39] And Mike Newell
[17:41] directed it.
[17:43] Yeah, the man who was bitten by a radioactive Rick.
[17:45] So, there you go.
[17:47] Can you think if Alan Rickman
[17:49] and Alan Ruck shook hands?
[17:51] They would explode?
[17:53] A Rickman and a Ruckman?
[17:55] They'd become Alan Ruckman.
[17:57] Oh.
[17:59] And wait, isn't that what they call Mega Man in Japan?
[18:01] It's like a Gundam. Yeah, that's what they call
[18:03] Mega Man in Japan.
[18:05] Well, we've been having a lot of fun
[18:07] tonight at the 73rd Flophouse Mini
[18:09] and we'll return with more fun
[18:11] after these messages.
[18:17] They can be anywhere.
[18:19] At your office. In your car.
[18:21] And they are wrong.
[18:23] My mom says that the Greyhouse didn't exist.
[18:25] But she's wrong.
[18:27] He just doesn't wrong.
[18:29] Someone in your life is wrong about something.
[18:31] Something small.
[18:33] Something weird.
[18:35] Something vitally important.
[18:37] Only one person has the courage to tell them
[18:39] just how wrong they are.
[18:41] You know what you did was wrong,
[18:43] but your daughter is a liar who eats garbage.
[18:45] They call me Judge John Hodgman.
[18:47] Listen to me on the Judge John Hodgman podcast.
[18:49] If someone in your life
[18:51] is doing you wrong,
[18:53] just take it. Take it to court.
[18:55] Submit your case at
[18:57] MaximumFun.org
[18:59] slash JJHO
[19:01] Hi, I'm Alex Schmidt.
[19:03] And I'm Katie Golden.
[19:05] And we make Secretly Incredibly Fascinating.
[19:07] A podcast about why seemingly
[19:09] ordinary stuff is actually
[19:11] the title of the podcast.
[19:13] Using tons of research, we take a joyful look
[19:15] at history and science and stories
[19:17] and jokes about the ordinary
[19:19] stuff in your life.
[19:21] It makes those things amazing.
[19:23] Also jokes. So get excited about
[19:25] paperclips. Get thrilled
[19:27] about pigeons. Get all psyched up
[19:29] and running around the room about the imperial
[19:31] system of weights and measurements.
[19:33] For real, there's whole episodes about that stuff.
[19:35] Hear them anytime and hear new episodes
[19:37] Mondays at MaximumFun.org
[19:41] Hey, you're looking at me and you're probably
[19:43] thinking, hey, that guy's
[19:45] a cat boy. And you'd be right because I
[19:47] am a cat boy. I love my kitty cats and I
[19:49] love getting them fed. The thing is, when I feed
[19:51] them, and I like to feed them wet cat
[19:53] food, partly because of teeth issues,
[19:55] I always have to feed them
[19:57] pate. And I gotta say, that term
[19:59] is cherry on top.
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[22:04] I thought I was going to have to hit him. I almost got stuck in a loop, yeah. Do you love
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[22:13] walks away with the best picture Oscar? Then you'll love awardtheory.com.
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[22:44] Flophouse Mini. Okay, we're back guys and we're ready for more questions. I think
[22:49] you've been doing great. I think you're actually gonna guess a lot of these. I
[22:51] think maybe these movies are less forgettable than I thought they were. You
[22:54] know, having had a really solid therapy session earlier today, this is
[22:58] just the kind of affirmation I need today Elliot, is you telling me how good
[23:02] I'm doing at your game. I'm so glad we could be here because it's time for the
[23:07] next question. Can you name this comedy-drama starring Jeanne Desjardins?
[23:12] Dan. Okay, this is a best picture. This is a best picture. Yeah, it's the artist, dude.
[23:22] Oh yeah. I thought you tossed it to Dan and then didn't let him think his faith through it. That's right, it's the artist's best picture for a 2011 directed by Michel Hazanet-Messisseuse.
[23:33] Now, where were you the last time you thought about the movie The Artist? I don't know where I was but I do
[23:45] remember that the thought was, oh yeah, The Artist won Best Picture. I feel like
[23:51] The Artist is for me the definition of this kind of movie where I'm always like,
[23:54] oh yeah, I'll see it listed somewhere suddenly in Best Picture. I'm like, oh
[23:57] yeah, The Artist. I remember that movie. That was my, I wish I, you know what, this is what I should have done.
[24:02] I should have said comedy-drama co-starring John Goodman and seeing what you guys came up with.
[24:06] Wow, yeah, that would, yeah, uh, arachnophobia. Yeah, that's The Artist. Okay, let's move on.
[24:16] Guys, this is gonna be a little harder because it's a 30s movie. Okay, this is a biographical film starring Paul Muni.
[24:23] Oh, is this I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang?
[24:29] Ooh, that's a good guess. That was nominated for Best Picture in a different year but it lost.
[24:35] So, this is a different movie of Paul Muni. That was also a biographical film.
[24:39] This is a biographical film starring Paul Muni. Would you like another hint? Yeah, give another
[24:43] hint. Stewart suddenly knows a lot about 1930s movies. Stewart, what Paul Muni movies? Can you name a
[24:49] Paul Muni movie? Uh, I thought you were gonna give me another hint. Okay, well, here's the hint.
[24:55] It won Best Picture in 1937. It was directed by William Dieterle.
[25:02] And it's a biographical picture, you say? It's a biographical film starring Paul Muni,
[25:07] not the mass transit Muni but, in fact, the man Paul Muni. Did you, is it Dr. Detroit?
[25:12] It's not Dr. Detroit and, you know what, that's not a terrible guess because Paul Muni also starred
[25:17] in The Story of Louis Pasteur in which he was a doctor but this is not that movie. This is a
[25:21] different movie. Can you tell us what sort of person the, it was a biography of? It is a biography
[25:28] of a French person. Okay. A very famous French person. Uh-huh. A French writer, a very famous
[25:37] French writer. Is it about Voltaire? No, it is not about Voltaire. Who are some French writers?
[25:45] It's about a very famous French writer who took a stand against antisemitism in the French military.
[25:50] Well, that didn't help me. Did it help you, Stuart? No, I'm just kind of waiting for this
[25:57] one to end. So this is about the, so it's about the life of the author who wrote Jacques Hughes
[26:03] which I know you think of as the thing that French Columbo says. Yeah. But it's actually.
[26:09] Or French Phoenix Wright, I feel like. Okay, yep. Wow, I mean, I feel like I know a lot about
[26:19] literature and I have no idea who wrote Jacques Hughes. I don't know that I, this is a book that I.
[26:24] Okay, so I'm going to give you another hint. I'm going to give you another, well, it's more of an
[26:27] essay than a book. Okay, I'm going to give you another hint. This is a famous, oh yes, it was a
[26:30] book, yeah. This is a, I think of it as, anyway, never mind. This is a famous French author who
[26:36] wrote Jacques Hughes, took a stand against antisemitism and his last name is the same
[26:42] as the name of a movie about a stripper who goes on a wild adventure. Oh, what? A stripper who
[26:49] uh, Nomi Malone? No, it's the name. Who goes on a wild adventure. It's one of the first movies
[26:57] ever based on a Twitter thread. Oh, right. Oh, right. Oh, Emile Zola. Yeah, okay. The life of
[27:05] Emile Zola. Yeah, right. The life of Emile Zola. We finally got there. We finally got there. Just
[27:10] for your knowledge, that movie beat The Awful Truth for Best Picture. Honestly, I like it. One
[27:14] of the greatest of all screwball comedies. I like this game more the more hints were allowed. I
[27:19] think that. Yeah, that's, of course you would. Of course, it would be easier I guess.
[27:23] Bowling's more fun if you just fill the fucking alleys with like pillows or some shit. With
[27:29] cement. If you just fill the gutters with cement and the ball can be guided by remote control.
[27:34] You know what, you just walk along next to it. Yeah, yeah. It's making me wish that I had done
[27:38] more old movies now that I think about it. Maybe, maybe if you guys want to stop for like 15 or 20
[27:43] minutes, we'll come back. Actually, oh, I'm sorry. Before we go to the next question, we are being
[27:48] interrupted by a special tribute. That's right. Here at the Flophouse Mini, we have a special
[27:55] tribute that we are going to be playing for you. Guys, you know, as I know, some of America's most
[28:03] unforgettable roles have been portrayed by that humblest of birds, the chicken. And so we now
[28:08] present a tribute to hens on film and those lovable performing poultry. Dan, feel free to
[28:15] narrate the tribute for our listeners. I'm sure you won't. All right. Well, right now there's a
[28:19] cursor going over my movie too. Okay. Oh, I love that one. Lady Cluck from Robin Hood.
[28:28] Polina from Return to Oz. Polina from Return to Oz. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, hey.
[28:33] Hey, hey. Moana. Moana. Yeah, that's a good one. Chicken Run. Yeah. So, this is Chicken Number
[28:40] Three from The Egg and I from 1947. And of course, one of Stewart's favorites. Rockadoodle.
[28:45] That's a clear from Rockadoodle. Rockadoodle. Oh, the questionable Panchito Pistoles from The
[28:49] Three Cavalieros. And of course, Chicken Little. I know Dan, you sympathize with that. The eponymous,
[28:54] yeah, eponymous Chicken Little, yeah. You all remember Running Chicken from Rocky Two.
[28:59] And of course, Chicken Arrow from Hot Shots Part Two. Yeah, that's a good one.
[29:03] There's Miss Prissy from the cartoon of Rice and Hen. Yeah. And the artificial chicken from
[29:09] Eraserhead. Eraserhead, yeah. Oh, and, oh, the biggest one. Camilla. Camilla, yeah. Camilla.
[29:14] Wait, she passed away? The fucking body on that one, right? She did 1976 to 2022.
[29:18] Dan, you forgot we lost Camilla last year. Is that true? Is there, like, a particular
[29:25] puppeteer? Yes, Dan, the puppet chicken died last year. Yeah, the puppet chicken. I don't know.
[29:31] Yeah, Dan, that's why Gonzo has been wearing all black in all his public appearances in the past
[29:36] year. You know, one of my most popular tweets was just pointing out about how, like, you know,
[29:41] Kermit and Piggy get all the press. But meanwhile, Gonzo has quietly been dating the same chicken
[29:48] for decades. For decades, since 1976, at least. They've had a great relationship.
[29:51] I mean, until she passed. But he was at her side the entire time. Yeah, yeah.
[29:56] Surrounded by loved ones. Yeah. And great people.
[30:00] I will put my chicken and film tribute up on Twitter, I guess, and I'll send it to him.
[30:04] He can put it on the website, the Flophouse website.
[30:07] OK, thanks, everybody, for that humble tribute.
[30:09] I appreciate that you didn't applaud during it.
[30:11] It's unfair to applaud for some of the chickens because others won't get as much applause.
[30:15] That artificial chicken from Eraserhead, you knew it was going to get thunderous applause,
[30:19] which is just not fair to chicken number three from The Agonize from 1947, I believe it was.
[30:24] OK, so here's our next question. We're back to the game.
[30:27] OK, this next movie is a drama starring Diana Winyard and Clive Brook.
[30:32] And if you know this movie, I will.
[30:36] I don't know. I don't know what I could possibly do to.
[30:40] Can you give us like a decade?
[30:43] This is from the 1930s.
[30:46] A drama from starring Diana Wine, Winyard, Winyard and Clive Brook.
[30:53] I'll give you another hint. One best picture in 1933.
[30:55] It was directed by Frank Lloyd, not Frank Lloyd Wright and not his evil twin.
[30:59] Frank Lloyd wrong is medium twin.
[31:01] Frank Lloyd unaligned.
[31:04] Mm hmm.
[31:05] Yeah.
[31:06] Frank Lloyd.
[31:07] Frank Lloyd.
[31:09] Yeah.
[31:12] Yeah.
[31:13] Imagine chaotic, chaotic Frank Lloyd.
[31:15] Frank Lloyd is falling water all over this house.
[31:20] How the water is supposed to fall under the house, not over it.
[31:25] Frank Lloyd Wright, this Guggenheim is supposed to go.
[31:27] Wait a minute.
[31:28] The Frank Lloyd Wright version is the weird version.
[31:30] Wow.
[31:31] This Frank Lloyd wrong version is actually stable.
[31:34] Yeah, it's a normal building.
[31:36] We sent the wrong one back to the other dimension.
[31:39] And Frank Lloyd Wright is like, shoot him.
[31:41] He's the clone.
[31:44] Kill us both, Spock.
[31:46] OK, so here's another hint.
[31:47] This movie, it's the story of a family from 1899 to 1933.
[31:51] And it's based on a play by Noel Coward.
[31:53] I'm sure you know what it is now.
[31:54] A play by Noel Coward.
[31:57] This is the best picture in 1933.
[31:59] Wait, is that?
[32:01] No.
[32:04] It's not any Noel Coward play you remember.
[32:07] Yeah, that's the thing.
[32:08] Is it?
[32:09] I don't know.
[32:10] Our Town.
[32:11] Tuck Everlasting.
[32:12] No, that's not.
[32:13] That one's not a play.
[32:16] But to keep saving titles, you'll eventually get to it.
[32:19] Bridget.
[32:20] No.
[32:21] Now you're just naming Wyoming novels.
[32:24] I don't know.
[32:25] My father, the hero.
[32:27] Like the only best picture of later year.
[32:29] The only thing I can think of that Noel Coward wrote right now is Blood Spirit.
[32:33] And I know it's not that.
[32:34] So that was that was that was his when he collaborated with Cormac McCarthy.
[32:38] Right.
[32:39] Yeah.
[32:40] Yeah.
[32:42] I thought.
[32:43] Yeah.
[32:44] Blood Spirit.
[32:45] Stallion of the Cimarron.
[32:46] I thought we might write something a little twisted.
[32:50] And Cormac is all about that shit.
[32:52] OK, guys, this movie.
[32:54] So it beat 42nd Street.
[32:56] And I'm a fugitive from a chain gang.
[32:58] And also The Private Life of Henry VIII, which is another great not as well
[33:01] remembered movie, but it's a great Loughton performance.
[33:04] Charles Loughton performance.
[33:05] This movie is called Cavalcade.
[33:07] Cavalcade.
[33:08] The best movie of 1932.
[33:11] Slash 1933.
[33:12] That's how they did the years back then.
[33:14] Guys, there have only been so many Academy Awards.
[33:16] And this is this is one of the best.
[33:18] OK, so.
[33:19] Yeah, right there.
[33:20] It's one of the best movies ever made.
[33:22] You should know it should be very memorable.
[33:23] It's Cavalcade.
[33:24] One of our top movies.
[33:25] Here's another one.
[33:26] OK, what about this?
[33:27] It's a drama starring Morgan Freeman.
[33:28] Uh-huh.
[33:30] Best picture.
[33:31] Is this Driving Miss Daisy?
[33:33] You're right.
[33:34] It's Driving Miss Daisy.
[33:35] I actually left out Miss Daisy's name because I wanted to.
[33:38] I wanted to say Shawshank Redemption or something.
[33:40] But you were too.
[33:41] But you were too smart for me.
[33:42] And you know, it's Driving Miss Daisy starring Morgan Freeman and Jessica Tandy
[33:45] and in a rare dramatic role.
[33:47] Ghostbuster himself, Daniel Ackroyd, won Best Picture in 1989.
[33:52] A movie that one would think would be wild if it were made today.
[33:57] But then Green Book happened.
[33:59] So, yeah.
[34:00] Oh, Dan Ackroyd was in that.
[34:02] He had a cameo in that scene where he drives Miss Daisy into Vulcanvania.
[34:07] He drives Miss Daisy into Vulcanvania and Judge, what's his name, shows up.
[34:11] Judge, what was his name?
[34:13] I don't remember.
[34:14] Vulk?
[34:15] I don't remember.
[34:16] The one with the sausage penis for his nose.
[34:18] Anyway, directed by Bruce Beresford who also directed Breaker Morant,
[34:21] a movie I'm going to mention in the next full-length episode of The Flophouse.
[34:25] So that's a little.
[34:26] Wow.
[34:27] A real teaser.
[34:28] Put that in the cinema.
[34:29] Movie Connections.
[34:30] Yeah.
[34:31] I'm going to put that in trivia for this episode.
[34:32] Okay, guys.
[34:33] Here's another one.
[34:34] Okay.
[34:35] The next one.
[34:36] This is a drama starring Russell Crowe that won Best Picture.
[34:38] Beautiful.
[34:39] Well, there's a few of them.
[34:41] But Stewart got it right away.
[34:43] It was a beautiful mind.
[34:44] Nailed it.
[34:45] Dan, were you thinking of Gladiator?
[34:47] Yeah.
[34:48] I mean I think that still counts.
[34:49] The previous year's Best Picture.
[34:51] Yeah.
[34:52] Because Russell Crowe starred in two Best Picture winning movies in a row,
[34:56] something I don't think any other actor has ever done before,
[34:59] and those two movies are fine.
[35:01] Yeah.
[35:02] And speaking of connections with our next episode.
[35:04] That's true.
[35:05] The next episode is also Russell Crowe.
[35:07] So a beautiful mind.
[35:09] And a Best Picture winner.
[35:10] Yeah.
[35:11] Yeah.
[35:12] The one that we did.
[35:13] Yeah.
[35:14] Guys, looking back now 20 years later,
[35:17] what are your feelings about Gladiator and A Beautiful Mind?
[35:20] I got to admit I didn't actually like Gladiator that much at the time.
[35:26] Me neither.
[35:27] I thought it was fine.
[35:28] I thought it was fine,
[35:29] but it was like a very standard sort of revenge action story with some cool visuals,
[35:35] but they also look kind of cheesy like of the time.
[35:38] And A Beautiful Mind.
[35:41] Like the time when he goes snowboarding?
[35:42] He takes that Roman shield and he just snowboards on it?
[35:45] Yeah.
[35:46] Yeah.
[35:47] That's pretty cheesy.
[35:48] Pretty cheesy of the time, yeah.
[35:49] And that was a time when like action sequences,
[35:51] the action sequences in that movie are so like hard to follow
[35:57] and the camera is like covered in mud
[36:00] and it feels like it's smeared in Vaseline and kicked around a hill.
[36:04] Unfortunately, there were no other good action movies that year.
[36:08] It merely beat Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon for Best Picture that year.
[36:12] Wow.
[36:13] So a movie whose action sequences I know we never think about.
[36:17] What did Beautiful Mind beat out?
[36:20] Oh, you're going to be mad, Stuart.
[36:22] Like fucking Monsters Ball and a Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring?
[36:25] It beat out Gosford Park, In the Bedroom, Moulin Rouge, and, yes,
[36:29] Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring, Stuart.
[36:32] You would have to wait two more years for a Lord of the Rings movie to win Best Picture.
[36:36] I can't remember all of them,
[36:38] but I think that I would have been happier with any of those winning over A Beautiful Mind.
[36:43] Didn't Two Towers lose to fucking Chicago the next year?
[36:47] It did lose to Chicago the next year, yes.
[36:51] So this is the thing about – I mean the fact that the next year also, like,
[36:57] a Roman Polanski movie was nominated for Best Picture.
[37:00] It was a different time. It was a different time back then.
[37:02] So here's the thing about A Beautiful Mind.
[37:05] I don't think it's a bad movie.
[37:07] I merely find it a morally offensive movie because of the way it treats mental illness.
[37:11] Yeah, that you can just decide one day, like, you know what?
[37:14] I'm not going to see my imaginary friend Paul Bettany anymore,
[37:16] who, by the way, is my favorite part of A Beautiful Mind.
[37:19] You know what? I'm tired of being a person with mental illness.
[37:22] I'm just going to stop.
[37:23] Yeah.
[37:24] And it is – yeah.
[37:25] Oh, why didn't we think about that?
[37:26] That's the best part.
[37:27] If you're going to make a movie with those two dudes, oceans better be fucking battlefields.
[37:33] Yeah, and you'll be unhappy to know, Stuart, that that also lost Best Picture,
[37:37] although to The Return of the King.
[37:38] Yeah, which is fair.
[37:40] It's fair.
[37:41] It's tough.
[37:42] That's stiff.
[37:43] Stiff competition right there.
[37:44] Stuart, it's 2003. You're an Academy Award voter.
[37:46] You can choose between Master and Commander, The Far Side of the World,
[37:48] or Lord of the Rings, Return of the King.
[37:50] Which do you choose?
[37:51] Yeah, pop quiz hotshot.
[37:53] Yeah, that's – Stuart slowly reaches for, I don't know,
[37:58] the reforged shards of Narsil to skewer himself with.
[38:02] Yeah, because it's a too hard decision.
[38:04] But then when you're doing that, your blood accidentally spatters on the ballot
[38:06] and marks off Seabiscuit as your win.
[38:08] Oh, no.
[38:09] Dan's favorite movie?
[38:10] That's why you don't do something with it.
[38:11] Well, you're Dan's favorite horse.
[38:13] Seabiscuit?
[38:15] I'm the world's most popular horse.
[38:17] Seabiscuit, did you remember you were nominated for Best Picture?
[38:20] I was? That seems weird.
[38:24] No one remembers much about that.
[38:26] Well, don't worry.
[38:27] You didn't win, so don't worry about it.
[38:29] Gotta go!
[38:30] Oh, man, he's gone again.
[38:32] He's so fast.
[38:33] What a horse this thing is.
[38:35] Yeah, you can't catch him.
[38:36] Can't catch that horse.
[38:38] So we have one last question for you since this was the 10 Most Forgettable,
[38:42] although you've proven me wrong.
[38:43] You guys have remembered almost all of these movies.
[38:45] All the ones that you were alive to see, you pretty much remembered.
[38:48] This one, okay, this is a romance starring Robert Redford and Meryl Streep.
[38:54] This is Out of Africa.
[38:56] That's right, it's Out of Africa, directed by Cindy Pollack,
[38:58] which won Best Picture in 1985.
[39:00] Here's a question, guys.
[39:01] Have you seen Out of Africa?
[39:02] I have not seen Out of Africa.
[39:04] I've seen the box.
[39:05] I've seen the VHS box.
[39:07] I've never seen Out of Africa, and I'm willing to bet it is not a real movie
[39:10] and that we have elaborately been gaslit to believe it was a movie called Out of Africa.
[39:14] If I go and pick up the box, I open it, and it's just full of fucking spiders,
[39:18] and I'm like, what?
[39:19] There's no VHS tape?
[39:21] Exactly.
[39:22] I know that not to be true because I did not see Out of Africa,
[39:24] but I do have memories of being in the room briefly when my parents were watching
[39:29] Out of Africa and thinking this is boring and going and doing something else.
[39:33] Dan, you – okay, I just – you could have told us what the movie was about
[39:38] or what was so good about it because I've never seen it,
[39:41] and as far as I know, nobody I've ever met has ever seen it
[39:43] because they've never mentioned it to me, ever.
[39:45] It's never been mentioned to me.
[39:46] Yeah, I think there was a lion or something.
[39:48] I mean, that was –
[39:49] Like, that's the thing.
[39:50] Am I bored during lions?
[39:51] I mean, if it's got Africa in the title and you guess there's a lion in it,
[39:53] that's not that – I'm not giving you points for getting that one.
[39:56] Fair enough.
[39:57] That's the thing.
[39:58] When I go to my gym, there's always –
[40:00] that's playing FX and if I know one thing about FX it's that they got the
[40:04] movies and you know what movie I never see on that shit? Out of Africa.
[40:08] I see Wanted all the time.
[40:12] The most in existence movie that there is.
[40:16] I mean according to FX, sure.
[40:20] I see Wanted, I see Deadpool. And neither of them won Best Picture.
[40:24] So what's going on here guys? Well, as we've seen, winning Best Picture
[40:28] doesn't make your movie immediately immortal and losing Best Picture or not even being
[40:32] nominated doesn't mean your movie stinks. So I think we've learned a little
[40:36] something about movies in that we shouldn't just judge them by awards but by the
[40:40] content of their characters and whether they're on FX since FX
[40:44] has the movies. Similar to how R.B. has the meme. If R.B. doesn't
[40:48] have it, it's not me. You know what, I mean, and I bet that
[40:52] every once in a while they gotta get together and have a barter situation because R.B.'s
[40:56] needs some entertainment every once in a while and the other
[41:00] one needs to eat. FX. You already forgot.
[41:04] The other one. The one with two letters.
[41:08] I mean they both have two letters. Well no, R.B.'s
[41:12] doesn't. It's just R.B. bitch. Dinner and a movie. They get together
[41:16] for dinner and a movie. Dinner and a movie. Meet in a movie.
[41:20] Hang R.B. and Jenny FX.
[41:24] They're like, you can have any of these meats. It's like, alright, I'll take that
[41:28] meat. And they're like, alright, here's Shrek in return for that.
[41:32] So then you gotta figure out what movie equals how much meat
[41:36] and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, well that's how money gets started.
[41:40] Did Shrek win Best Picture? Shrek did not win, I think,
[41:44] and it didn't win Best Animated Feature, I don't believe.
[41:48] Let's take a look, let's take a look. Okay, maybe it did.
[41:52] I'm looking it up right now. Let's go to
[41:56] let's see. We're talking about Shrek now.
[42:00] It did win for Best Animated Feature. No fucking shit it did.
[42:04] I'm sorry, I should have remembered that Shrek won
[42:08] the inaugural Best Animated Feature award.
[42:12] I've heard a rumor that they made up
[42:16] the Best Animated Feature category just to prevent Shrek from
[42:20] winning Best Picture. That was probably it, because it was Shrek versus
[42:24] A Beautiful Mind, and we know it would have won in that one.
[42:28] Shrek was gonna roll A Beautiful Mind.
[42:32] Because they basically have the same moral, which is that you shouldn't judge the outside
[42:36] by the beautiful mind on the inside, whether it's an ogre or a mathematician.
[42:40] Shrek, of course, followed up the next year by the winner, Spirited Away.
[42:44] Same level as Shrek, Spirited Away. Just as good as Shrek.
[42:48] And what nominee
[42:52] did it defeat for that award? Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron.
[42:56] A little piece of Oscars history. Can you imagine how many
[43:00] cigarettes Miyazaki would smoke while watching Shrek?
[43:04] Just like, fuck.
[43:08] Well, there are so many other forgettable
[43:12] Best Pictures I'd love to talk about. The Broadway Melody, Around the World in 80 Days,
[43:16] Tom Jones, gosh, now that I'm really here, I'm getting so flustered.
[43:20] There's just so many movies to mention. Chicago, I have to mention Chicago.
[43:24] Oh, no, they're playing me off. Okay, well, I guess, I know, that's my time.
[43:28] I won't get too much busier. Alright, I apologize. Look, I'm in L.E. Kaelin,
[43:32] and joining me are my co-hosts. Also not getting too much busier, Dan McCoy
[43:36] and Stuart Wellington. Okay, we're part of the MaxFun Network. I better say it quick.
[43:40] Oh, the music's getting louder. Our producer and editor is Alex Smith. Hopefully he puts some music in here.
[43:44] Find him online under the name HowlDotty, and please consider leaving us a positive review
[43:48] wherever you download your podcasts. Remember, we're doing a live show April 2nd
[43:52] in Brooklyn at the Bell House, Sunday, 7.30, April 2nd. Go to thebellhouseny.com
[43:56] for tickets there. Okay, okay, alright, I get it, I'm done. Goodbye, everybody.
[44:00] Good night.
[44:14] Artist owned. Audience supported.

Description

Our esteemed host for the mini, Mr. Elliott Kalan, takes Dan and Stu on a tour through Oscar history by quizzing them on some of the most forgettable Best Picture winners of all time.

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