Episode #390 – Beast

[0:00] On this episode we discuss Beast or in the words of uh, drag performer, Alyssa Edwards

[0:07] beast

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Hey

[0:41] Vocal fry to step on Stuart there

[0:46] That's a charitable definition, I'm Stuart Wellington

[0:54] His vocal fry is extending into a death rattle

[1:01] I'm of the deep

[1:11] I'm not even try to compete. I'm Elliot Kalin, and I'm just so excited that we're doing a live show Sunday

[1:16] April 2nd at the bell house in Brooklyn

[1:19] We'll hear more information about that later in the show or go to the bell house

[1:23] Ny.com if you cannot wait for us to talk about it later in the show

[1:26] We're doing the live show Sunday April 2nd at the bell house in Brooklyn, and I'm Ellie Kalin

[1:29] I'll be there and I'm here right now in your ears. Can't get me out. Try to use a q-tip to just push me in

[1:34] deeper, yeah

[1:35] You make a good point about that show Elliot, but also about this show the one you're listening to now

[1:41] What is it?

[1:42] it's a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about or in this case a movie that got sort of

[1:48] Mixed to mildly positive reviews, but we'll see what we thought of it

[1:54] Mm-hmm and that movie in this case is beast beast. Otherwise known as the movie where Idris Elba fights a lion. Yep

[2:01] I'm sure it was that tagline on that

[2:04] I mean it was sold

[2:05] I mean much the way that the gray was sold on Liam Neeson fist fighting a wolf something that only happened in the last

[2:12] Five seconds of the movie and you don't like it. See ya. It's mainly implied, right? Yeah

[2:17] Yeah, he just he prepares for it and then he like jumps at the camera and then it just cuts the credits

[2:22] The here you actually get to see it a spoiler alert you do get to see Idris Elba fist fight a lion and

[2:27] It goes about as well as you'd imagine

[2:32] Also, the lion has had a lot of damage at that point

[2:34] So it's a little bit like at the end of commando

[2:35] When they really are trying to stack the decks so that you think that this guy even has a chance up again. Yeah

[2:42] Yeah, at this point the boss has already had a lot of its armor stripped away and it's got some glowing red spots for him

[2:48] to hit now the boss

[2:50] Springsteen

[2:54] Someone at home listener draws a picture of a lion Bruce

[3:08] So beast let's talk about this production for you Stan that's what I would say about that

[3:13] Sure

[3:15] What a

[3:17] Name of the podcast already. This is called the flop as I mean, it's in the title. Okay, anyone who downloaded do we introduce ourselves?

[3:24] Yeah, we did that part. Okay, and we talked about this a little bit and we identified the movie

[3:29] So let's get into the synopsis of the movie which for once I will be taking care of

[3:34] This is very exciting because Stuart and I we are seasoned movie plot synopsis isers

[3:41] Summarizers not synopsis isers source. We're synopsis summarizers Dan. He's still crawling out of the chrysalis, you know

[3:47] He's still making that transition from commentator to summarizer

[3:51] and I'm excited to see how he does with this movie a perfect movie for a

[3:55] Less experienced summarizer because there are a lot of plot in this movie. Well

[4:01] There's not a lot and let's let's just make it clear in the early days

[4:05] We watched the movie all together and we were all just sort of jump in and tell the story of the plot

[4:09] Then it sort of loosely became Elliot just did it because he was the best at it and then Elliot reasonably got tired

[4:16] They're just talking over us

[4:18] Around I realize I recognize that I am already a talkative guy

[4:22] And so yeah took away a reason for me to talk more. It would probably help the podcast. So Stuart

[4:29] bravely boldly and

[4:31] Wonderfully stepped. Oh, thank you torch and he ran with it

[4:35] Thank you. Tell us about the what happened at marathon. He just took he just ran with it

[4:41] Using every ounce of his strength and breath to plot. So I went to the movies. I went to the marathon gas station to buy some

[4:48] boner pills from the gas station and you'll never believe who I ran into

[4:54] Wait, I don't believe it so far, but I haven't heard it

[4:59] I mean the thing is I don't I haven't heard anything to tell me that it's not true table ice

[5:04] tea

[5:07] Wait, I see is an actual person. So I'll just stick with that. Yeah

[5:11] Well, I don't believe it. I don't believe it either

[5:14] Anyway, I'm I'm doing it now. I I'm tired of my learned helplessness. Let's

[5:18] enter a new era

[5:20] so

[5:22] So this movie opens on a bunch of poster poach poachers not posters

[5:26] I stumbled post poachers bunch of poachers in South Africa. Yeah late at night. It's hard to see anything

[5:33] I'm gonna complain like an old man that I find the nighttime scenes in this

[5:38] Very difficult to understand like there are a lot of people out there like, you know, oh movies are too bright

[5:43] Even at night it's too bright and I understand that but you also have to understand that

[5:48] I'm not a fan of the movies. I'm not a fan of the movies

[5:51] Movies are too bright

[5:52] Even at night, it's too bright and I understand that but you also if you're gonna do something people say that yeah

[5:58] Well, if they're watching the movie bright, they're like don't want don't like show me another movie

[6:03] That's not as bright as this any movie

[6:05] I think that there's a certain fakeness to a lot of nighttime shooting that people don't like but also

[6:12] Now in this age of sort of digital recording people don't give a lot of sense to the lighting of things

[6:18] I

[6:19] Think that a better way of lighting stuff at night is to have

[6:22] You know like strong highlights on a few key things that you want to see this movie was just a bunch of mud to me

[6:28] To light it and make it look interesting. Yeah, certainly there is and there's

[6:34] certainly, there's a middle ground that we can all agree on and reach between

[6:39] Shooting things with normal light and then just coloring them blue to represent that this is at night and just having blackness on which

[6:46] Works very well. Sometimes it doesn't I mean, it's what we're it's what movies did for many years and nobody really complained except for Dan

[6:53] And now he got his monkeys falling

[6:56] It looks great in Fury Road when they do day for night. Yeah

[7:00] There's I mean it worked great in the movie day for night when they're doing a day for night

[7:03] Well a lot of problems when they were making that movie

[7:05] I think that the rule is as with most most things if you take time and care and

[7:12] Try and do it. Well

[7:17] You're right, it's the old CGI versus

[7:19] Practical effects thing where it's like they're both good. They can both be used. Well and both be used poorly

[7:23] Should I should I just say do it do it good?

[7:28] Post it for your mirror every morning

[7:33] Remember say do it good do it real good and then say push it real good and then go

[7:42] Everyone dances, okay

[7:46] So

[7:50] Get back to the movie they're a bunch of poachers. It's very dark. They're poaching eggs

[7:55] They're killing a pride of lions. That's right. Oh

[8:00] That's not so fun. They're using automatic rifles to hunt these lines and one escapes

[8:06] And I'm glad you point out automatic rifles as if you're like I take issue with it being an unfair fight

[8:12] I mean I do sort of yeah, I mean like the poachers we will find are the true villains of this movie

[8:18] Yeah, they're huge pieces as they are that continue to be the true villains of humanity in many

[8:22] Yeah, worst scum of the world. They drive the titular beasts to

[8:27] You know John wick

[8:30] Not to excuse poachers. I feel like many of them do live in places where there is a dearth of employment opportunities

[8:35] Okay, you know often people are driven to poaching not because they want to because they have sure societal factors, etc

[8:42] Life is at all life is a battle for for superiority and survival

[8:46] And that's what I've learned from the Toy Story movies, and it's just what I'm gonna take with me

[8:52] Now what specifically about the Toy Story films you get look

[8:56] There's not room for both a toy cowboy and the cuddly old person bear one of them is gonna die at the end of Toy

[9:02] Story 3 yeah, it's just who's it gonna be you know yeah, it's

[9:06] Just have a living hell of being strapped to the front of a semi you've seen what happens to the stuffies

[9:12] He's strapped to the front of trucks. They don't it's not a long life

[9:14] You know it's like as as as as Hobbes described life being strapped to a truck. It is nasty brutish and short

[9:21] At what point does a toy die like how?

[9:24] Much does be yeah, how much physical damage does that have to yeah?

[9:29] How far?

[9:32] In the Marvel Comics they established that with Sandman there is one particular grain of sand that has his soul in it basically and as

[9:40] Long as that one grain of sand exists, then he can build himself from all other sand so yeah

[9:44] How much fluff or Wolverine once regenerated himself from a skeleton so like how much how much fluff does that bear need to I mean?

[9:52] There's one grain of sand and if it's destroyed

[9:56] Yeah, how do you destroy a single grain of sand?

[10:00] Well, you can't, like, punch it or shoot it or nothing.

[10:04] Or they'll, like, they'll capture it, you know, they'll capture it in something.

[10:08] Well, we're 30 seconds into the movie, so...

[10:12] You take that one grain of sand and you put it in, like, a twisted, distressed Pepsi bottle,

[10:16] and you sell it to someone at a carnival.

[10:18] No, we should get back to the scene where a bunch of lions get murdered.

[10:21] Yeah, a bunch of lions get murdered.

[10:22] Yeah, Dan, that's your idea of fun, huh?

[10:24] One guy gets caught in a snare, is attacked and presumably killed by this rogue lion.

[10:28] The title comes up, Beast, in case you walked into the wrong theater.

[10:32] Yeah, so while these poachers are, like, walking around,

[10:35] they realize that maybe they didn't kill the, like, the leader of the lions,

[10:39] and then they slowly start disappearing.

[10:42] And you're like, oh, wow, this is like a crazy shinobi lion.

[10:46] He's, like, picking them off one by one.

[10:48] And then, of course, he jumps at the camera, then we get the...

[10:51] Yeah, this is one of the many movies that involves an animal that is seeking revenge,

[10:55] which is kind of a funny, it's always a fun, weird,

[10:58] but at least it's not Jaws 4, The Revenge Funny,

[11:00] where the shark knows the travel plans of the family.

[11:03] Yes, has gone all the way to the Caribbean.

[11:06] But kind of close.

[11:08] A little bit, yeah.

[11:09] And now you're saying that the only lion left,

[11:11] would you also call him the leader of the pack?

[11:14] Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

[11:17] So we get a brief dream sequence.

[11:22] There's, like, a POV of a camera drifting through

[11:24] sort of a dreamy-looking South African village

[11:27] with the voice of Idris Elba saying, like, where are you, my love?

[11:32] Okay, cut to him waking up.

[11:34] I will say this.

[11:35] I will say this.

[11:36] Those sections are, these dream sequences that come up are fairly unnecessary,

[11:39] but they do remind me of a lot of what you'd see

[11:43] in certain types of modern African cinema,

[11:46] where they do a lot of that kind of, like, dreamy slow-mo,

[11:48] especially stuff that's shot on video.

[11:50] And so there was part of me that was like,

[11:51] this doesn't really matter in the movie in many ways,

[11:55] but it helped to give it more of a, like, African cinema feel for a few moments,

[11:59] which I appreciated.

[12:01] Okay.

[12:02] I don't know enough to speak to that, but that's good to hear.

[12:04] It's possible that it's just the ones I've seen,

[12:06] and I'm massively generalizing about a continent's worth of cinema.

[12:10] That's true.

[12:12] So we wake up.

[12:14] Idris Elba wakes up.

[12:15] He is in the jump seat of a charter plane flying over South Africa.

[12:22] He wakes up his two daughters, Mare and Nora, to see the scenery.

[12:27] Mare of Cape Town, I guess.

[12:31] They land.

[12:32] Nora is very much complaining about the heat, which I sympathize with.

[12:35] That would probably be me in this situation.

[12:37] Except here's the thing.

[12:38] They keep complaining about the heat,

[12:39] but they're also both wearing jackets or sweatshirts or hoodies.

[12:42] Yeah, they're true.

[12:43] Just take off your outer layer.

[12:46] Someone arrives in a jeep.

[12:47] Who is it?

[12:48] Oh, it's Sholto Copley.

[12:50] Sholto Copley of District 9.

[12:53] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[12:54] Look out, Bonds.

[12:55] Yep, of the A-Team movie.

[12:59] Chappy.

[13:00] Chappy, Elysium.

[13:02] I saw several reviews that pointed out playing for the first time a normal human being.

[13:08] Not a weirdo.

[13:09] Not a weirdo, yeah.

[13:11] And that's good.

[13:13] He's not playing himself, Sholto Copley, the actor.

[13:15] He's playing Martin, a scientist.

[13:17] Now I get the movie.

[13:18] Hold on.

[13:19] Now the movie makes sense to me.

[13:21] Some sort of like—

[13:22] He's like a naturalist.

[13:23] Naturalist who keeps an eye over the reserve against poachers.

[13:27] Yeah, we find out he's an anti-poacher later, right?

[13:29] That he kills poachers.

[13:30] Yes, later on.

[13:31] And you know what?

[13:32] Good for him.

[13:33] Anti-poacher is a term that gets dropped into the movie as if it was a familiar one.

[13:37] Were you guys familiar with the concept of an anti-poacher, someone who hunts down poachers?

[13:41] A kind of texture for poachers?

[13:43] If they touch a poacher, they just explode.

[13:46] Yeah, that's what I assumed too.

[13:48] Context clues, guys.

[13:50] I can figure out what an anti-poacher is.

[13:52] It is also weird when the poachers refer to themselves as poachers as if they're proud of it.

[13:58] And I'm like, I don't know.

[13:59] This feels—I don't think they would—

[14:00] And they're like, he's an anti-poacher.

[14:02] I could understand an anti-poacher is against poaching, but I didn't know if that meant that they are—

[14:07] I don't know if they are an official, if that's an official job.

[14:10] But it turns out they're kind of vigilantes who are going out and killing poachers.

[14:13] I don't know if this is a real thing or if it's just a movie thing.

[14:16] The only one way to find out, I've got to become a poacher and see if anyone comes after me.

[14:20] I assume it's a real thing.

[14:21] I don't think that's a good idea.

[14:23] I mean, it's not a good idea.

[14:24] It's the only idea.

[14:25] So Martin is a friend of Idris Elba.

[14:29] He introduced Idris Elba to his wife, who we don't know anything about yet.

[14:35] But we can assume that because she's not here and this is a movie and he's having dreams about her that she has passed away, which is true.

[14:42] They arrive at Martin's house.

[14:44] The kids are just made to find—

[14:46] It's a nice place, right?

[14:47] Yeah, it's a nice place.

[14:49] Open plan.

[14:51] I mean, it doesn't have cubicles in it, I guess.

[14:55] It's not open plan at all, but there's a nice flow to the house.

[14:59] This is around the time I really noticed how many unbroken or seemingly unbroken long panning shots we're getting where the camera is following the characters through a space.

[15:08] And I have to say, eventually I was like, I get it, long shots, but like long uncut shots.

[15:14] But it really did help me to understand the geography of these places.

[15:17] At times, this movie can get a little video gamey, but I appreciated during this part that it really let me live in the space for a little bit.

[15:27] And I like it, but as we get into more of the action sequences where they use it, it feels like it takes away some of the tension for me.

[15:37] Yes, I agree.

[15:38] Later on—I'll just say this now because I'll forget it later.

[15:41] There are times in this movie where it reminded me of—and this is because I went to Universal Studios recently.

[15:44] They reminded me of being on a simulator ride where there's a storyline going on and characters are right in front of you and they're like—

[15:50] Yeah, yeah, where the lion is like, here, hold the all spark while I kill these broochers.

[15:55] Exactly.

[15:57] But then after he kills the poachers, he's like, you did it, hooray.

[16:00] Now get your picture taken with the minions.

[16:02] Yeah, that's—certainly you've been at Universal Studios recently too because that's exactly what happens.

[16:07] Shout out to Jordan Morris, king of Universal Studios.

[16:10] There's a part where there's poachers that have them at gunpoint and you hear a lion off in the distance and the poachers run off.

[16:17] And then you're with our main characters as they try to get to a truck.

[16:19] And it really felt like being in one of those rides where something is always kind of happening in the distance that then comes up to you and then it goes away.

[16:26] And then you're going to somewhere else and it comes up to you again.

[16:28] I got to say that could—I often find that very effective though to, like, enhance attention because it gives you, like, a limited point of view.

[16:37] The fact that it is uncut, like, gives it this sense of realism when it's done well.

[16:43] I just—this movie—I don't want to tip my hand too much, but I found it a little rote in many ways.

[16:50] Oh, yes. Well, this was a movie—this was an adventure movie about people being tracked down by a lion where the material that spoke to me the strongest was the first half hour before the lion really gets to them.

[17:00] Yeah.

[17:01] When it's just Idris Elba dealing with the relationship with his daughters and them experiencing the beauty of Africa for the first time.

[17:08] Yes.

[17:09] Like, that's the stuff that really got to me.

[17:11] Yeah, reconnecting with their mother's heritage as opposed to later when the lion showed up.

[17:15] I was like, yeah, it's a lion. Okay.

[17:17] So Martin's house has no Wi-Fi or phone service.

[17:23] Eagle-eyed listeners will—or eagle-eared.

[17:26] Do eagles have good ears?

[17:28] We'll note that as a plot point probably to isolate them further.

[17:34] They all hang out.

[17:35] Maren and Martin bond over how they like to shoot with film rather than digital cameras.

[17:40] And it sort of becomes clear that Idris Elba doesn't know a lot about his kids.

[17:44] His character doesn't because he's absent while their mother, his ex-wife, got cancer after they separated.

[17:51] Yeah, that was the thing.

[17:53] So when the mother character wasn't there but they kept talking about her, Charlene was like, she's dead.

[17:59] I'm like, maybe they're divorced.

[18:01] And the thing is, it was both.

[18:03] Why not both, as the GIF says?

[18:06] You both earned a prize.

[18:08] So the kids go to bed.

[18:13] Sholto, Copley, and Idris have some whiskey, and they talk about his dead wife a little.

[18:19] Idris talks about how he regrets how he missed the signs of her sickness and how he was absent.

[18:24] So he's a doctor. Did we mention that?

[18:26] Yeah.

[18:28] Because if he was a cartoonist, I could totally understand how he would miss the signs of her sickness and not feel guilty about that part.

[18:35] Yeah, they mostly know about what pen nibs to use.

[18:40] Yeah, nibs. If he was like, I never noticed that she was using the wrong nib.

[18:45] She was getting too thick a line in her inking.

[18:48] And what kind of guard to wear on their wrists to prevent carpal tunnel.

[18:52] Converting their lettering to a font to make it easier on themselves.

[18:57] Yeah, so they don't have to do all that lettering by hand.

[18:59] There's no scene where he's like, I can't believe I missed the signs for cancer.

[19:02] And his friend Martin's like, but you're an airplane mechanic.

[19:04] Why would you?

[19:06] So he's a doctor. He's a medical doctor.

[19:09] We spent a lot of time talking about a thing that wasn't true.

[19:12] But what was true is that he was a doctor.

[19:14] What is this, Fox News?

[19:16] Oh!

[19:18] Wait, let me just check.

[19:20] Fox News just quit doing all that bullshit because we roasted them so bad.

[19:25] It's the power of satire.

[19:27] Got them!

[19:29] Next morning, they go out with Martin.

[19:31] And Martin's like colleague Banji to see the reserve.

[19:35] Yeah.

[19:37] Martin shows them a pride of lions.

[19:39] And Cheryl goes up and says hi.

[19:41] And they lick him like a big cat.

[19:43] They hug him. It's just like in Born Free.

[19:45] When they go back and see the lions again.

[19:47] Because he's raised some of these lions from cubs.

[19:52] I'm just going to guess.

[19:54] I'm assuming the lions are VFX and not Charlton Copley.

[20:00] lion in this film is I would say pretty good CGI these ones I these ones teeth

[20:06] I'm again I'm watching it on iPad so I the it was not we're on a laptop but

[20:10] it's possible that they had trained lions for this part although probably

[20:13] not I guess it's probably CGI for this too but it is possible to train a lion

[20:17] I feel like after roar they can't do that I think yeah maybe maybe yeah what

[20:24] Katy Perry song yeah so one of the females is hurt possibly shot by a

[20:35] poacher but Martin can't get a good look right there because the males are

[20:39] protective yeah we learned to we learn an important fact that the the female

[20:43] lion does all the hunting but the male lions protect the pack from other lions

[20:49] okay very important piece of information for later yeah and so Martin

[20:54] you know is driving them around he says that poachers sell the teeth and bones

[20:58] of lions and Nora brings up the anti poachers who hunt and kill poachers and

[21:04] Martin seems a little awkward like who knows yes yeah very Clark Kent when he

[21:14] hears people talk about Superman yeah he seems like a real cool guy his bulge

[21:20] looks huge when he's flying around there is a Robert Roberts Michael cartoon

[21:25] where this guy he's a superhero who his job is to save lives and also to get his

[21:29] secret identity laid and so he'll save a woman then he'll be like have you heard

[21:32] of this guy he's too much for a woman to handle she goes on a date with that she

[21:42] goes oh I have a boyfriend and the Superman character goes to the

[21:44] boyfriend's office and hurls him into the Sun I don't endorse hurling anyone

[21:57] into the Sun whether they're going out with someone you're interested in or not

[22:00] just don't know just because we describe the actions about it there are if you

[22:06] want to throw Vladimir Putin into the Sun go for it go right ahead you know

[22:09] just because we describe the actions of a character that we don't necessarily

[22:13] think is cool doesn't mean we assume that they're cool okay that's an

[22:17] important distinction to make yes it's an endorsement etc anyway so during our

[22:25] tour I think you made it clear damn with that with that brief summary endorsement

[22:31] etc during their tour they find this village that seemed mysteriously

[22:38] abandoned Martin sees something he wants to shield the girls from turns out it's

[22:43] a bunch of dead villagers Martin says it could be only be a line that's unlike

[22:48] any line he's ever seen and he's nervous because the absence of hyenas around

[22:53] feeding on the bodies means the line is probably still around and also that the

[22:59] lion left his calling card an ace of spades oh wow kind of cliched they're

[23:05] lying the lines not aware of how much that's been used in pop culture the

[23:11] lines like what do you want me to use it in aid of hearts uh-huh yeah and he

[23:16] scrawled in bloody scrawled why so serious and I'm like oh that's

[23:19] intellectual property theft dog fine fine here's the instructions I'll leave

[23:24] that behind as my calling card sure meanwhile the kids are outside and

[23:30] marriage has somehow misplaced Nora in like 30 seconds there's like a there's

[23:35] like a maze out there yeah this is one of the issues with the movie is that I

[23:39] think the the kids are constantly making bad decisions for getting off I'm gonna

[23:45] go sneak up on a lion and they're on the walkie-talkie going dad talk to me dad

[23:49] dad hey dad dad dad dad which I mean is very believable it's what my kids

[23:54] all the time I feel like that's in an attempt to be realistic they have these

[23:59] kids the kids are I'm gonna say I found them to be kind of annoying especially

[24:03] in any of the like stressful situations but I also don't have children so I

[24:09] wouldn't put myself in that situation Elliot do you find that if you were

[24:13] being attacked by a killer line your kids would be let's just say annoying

[24:17] the whole time well let's let's judge it and usually in stressful situations yes

[24:22] they add to that stress they don't subtract from it and if we compare it to

[24:25] just an everyday situation like I need to use the bathroom something that

[24:28] humans do every day then yes they would continue to if you're doing on the door

[24:32] try to get into the room say dad dad try to slip things under the door try to

[24:38] kneel down and see if they can see me under the bottom of the door I was being

[24:41] attacked by a lion they would be trying to get what is their endgame there what

[24:45] do they think do they want to see the act of defecation like this seems like

[24:52] usually it's that usually it's that they want me to do something for them maybe

[24:56] they want me to get something for get them a glass of water or maybe they just

[25:00] thought of something they want to tell me about about a baseball game and the

[25:03] only time to tell me is now when I'm using the bathroom you should get them

[25:06] one of those like water things like a water fountain that spits out water that

[25:10] I got my cats oh yeah yeah I mean I feel like sort of an automatic feeder for

[25:15] yeah like an automatic feeder for you have X we do have a refrigerator with a

[25:18] water dispenser that they have access to it's more it's not a it's not a lack

[25:22] of ability it's a lack of motivation to do it themselves okay okay sure sure I

[25:27] understand I had and if I got if I got that kind of water fountain thing for

[25:32] them that a cat uses I imagine they would use it for a little bit out of

[25:34] novelty then they'd pee in it as a joke and then they'd forget it existed and it

[25:38] would just close yeah yeah the life cycle beautiful as David but uh so yeah

[25:47] Maris misplaced Nora Idris is scared for a little while but then she's just

[25:51] wandered off to find a dead body and so they all leave I mean they're all over

[25:57] the place yeah they leave dead body town and they find it village that yeah

[26:04] they're asking for it they find an injured villager and Martin

[26:08] here's something and goes off with a rifle while Idris tries to help the

[26:12] villager and the kids try to radio for help and Martin goes like way far away

[26:18] considering he's the one guy who has a rifle in this situation I don't

[26:21] understand just terrible tactics you know man they get something get fixed on

[26:27] some idea they gotta follow it yeah and sometimes they give birth to a bunch of

[26:32] different versions of themselves oh yeah a lot of people make bad choices in

[26:46] this movie but so we hear as Elliot said a lot of the action takes place off

[26:51] screen we hear a gunshot well you don't know what happened to Martin right away

[26:54] it's like what is this the end of French Connection mm-hmm yeah Idris goes

[26:59] looking for him and is chased back to the Jeep by the titular beast the lion

[27:05] wait a minute I would I would I would maybe the beast is man because it's the

[27:11] poachers who caused this whole problem yeah that's a good point so this is the

[27:15] first time the movie under the logo of the movie has lion scratches on it so

[27:19] it's probably the lion that's the beast although if the beast is the one getting

[27:23] scratched then again it's the person yeah when Elliot goes to buy a monster

[27:27] energy drink he's like I wonder if the monster is man wait there's giant claw

[27:31] marks humans don't have I wonder if the real energy drink is man it could be

[27:37] that the beast is the beast from Beauty and the Beast and he's just off camera

[27:41] the whole time we have to assume either that or Hank McCoy Beast of the X-Men

[27:46] and he's just yeah on camera commenting and they removed all that commentary

[27:52] there's a frenzied lion that affects Idris Elba who jumps in the Jeep but you

[27:58] know like the lines trying to get in trying to get any grabs his legs but

[28:02] mare drives off which saves him for the moment but they also immediately drive

[28:07] into a tree uh-huh yep make sense so we this is kind of the first real look we

[28:13] get at our our hero villain antihero the the the beast the lion and he's uh you

[28:21] know he's not looking great he's got like blood caked all over his face his

[28:25] hair kind of looks like days yeah his hair his mane looks like why he's in a

[28:32] hair metal band yeah you're saying he's got blood on his face big disgrace

[28:36] somebody better put him back into his place Martin lo and behold is not dead

[28:42] he calls Idris on the walkie-talkie his knee has gotten torn up by the lion

[28:47] Martin Dan did you really sympathize with that him having a brutal knee

[28:52] injury that that put him down for the count that's a fucking call back to that

[28:58] Dan Torres ACL at one point and we got a lot of mileage I mean at this point you

[29:06] know like a peek behind my into my life I have I have early onset some sort of

[29:14] mild arthritis that may be related to other physical problems that I'm getting

[29:22] examined who knows but also but like the money still bothers me I need some

[29:27] others me a little yeah I shouldn't poke fun at it much as I shouldn't poke your

[29:31] knee you can poke fun at it I mean is that why you're looking at the storm

[29:34] clouds overhead and you're like I feel it in my bones right I've never noticed

[29:41] whether it goes with the weather I do have like it is intermittent whether

[29:45] like aches or not but sounds like someone's got a journal they have to

[29:49] keep somebody somebody needs to go sit on a porch drink some bottles and James

[30:00] Uh, so yeah, uh, Martin is dizzy and disoriented.

[30:04] Idris tells him to make a tourniquet, but he's already done that and hasn't helped.

[30:07] So he has Martin cauterized his wound with his lighter and a knife.

[30:12] Because that's his character trait is he always has his Zippo on it,

[30:15] which will matter later.

[30:17] Yeah.

[30:19] Uh, and he yells at pain, which draws the lion who just stares at Martin, doesn't

[30:25] attack and Martin theorizes that he's the bait to draw the rest of them out.

[30:28] Man, this lion's crafty.

[30:30] The movie was called bait.

[30:31] We would know it was referring to Martin.

[30:33] Yeah.

[30:34] So we're not quite sure.

[30:35] We still don't know.

[30:36] Yeah.

[30:36] It would have Jamie Foxx in it.

[30:38] It was called bait.

[30:40] Uh, that was, he was in that, right?

[30:42] The movie bait.

[30:43] It was just like a Tony Scott movie or I don't, I don't know, Dan.

[30:47] Does this, do you want to do a quick little bit of research here?

[30:50] Yeah.

[30:51] Bait.

[30:52] Yeah.

[30:52] Uh, yeah.

[30:53] So this is, and one of the things that, uh, Jason Jones in the role of

[30:58] guard, oh, I know somebody in this movie.

[31:00] Okay.

[31:00] Yeah.

[31:01] So because this movie features a lot of people watch this movie.

[31:05] I've never heard of from 23 years ago.

[31:08] It was directed by Antoine Fuqua.

[31:09] Dan, I understand.

[31:10] He's kind of like a Tony Scott, like director.

[31:12] So yeah.

[31:13] Similar sort of flesh.

[31:14] Uh, now because this movie features a lot of people getting attacked by a lion.

[31:19] Uh, we got a lot, we get a lot of like pretty gross, uh, effects, like a lot

[31:24] of like bottle body harm effects.

[31:27] It's not like, uh, you know, people are just lying around.

[31:30] Like their bodies are all fucked up and gross.

[31:32] Right.

[31:32] Unfortunately though, you would think that Idris Elba being attacked by a lion

[31:36] at some point would rip his shirt off or somebody would get hurt and he'd have to

[31:39] take his shirt off to create a tourniquet never happens, feels like a missed

[31:43] opportunity, especially, especially as they multi, they mentioned how hot it is.

[31:49] If you want a movie about a big cat and, uh, a nude Idris Elba, you got to watch

[31:56] cats, you got to watch cats.

[31:57] Yeah.

[31:58] Um, oh my God.

[32:00] Do you think he was like, okay, so you gotta, you gotta make sure the, the

[32:04] line moves like this, cause I know all about cats, just a little dance.

[32:10] Um, so, uh, it was inevitable.

[32:17] It just takes the tranq rifle out to try and, uh, he's going to stand on the

[32:21] Jeep, hoping to get a shot at the lion, uh, mayor gets out of the car, like an

[32:27] idiot, as I have in my notes, uh, which distracts Idris enough that he gets

[32:32] knocked off the Jeep by the lion and has to hide under it while the lion is, you

[32:36] know, pawing at him, trying to grab him.

[32:38] He's able to get the gun, but can't shoot it.

[32:40] But Nora from within the group Jeep takes a tranq dart and stabs the lion.

[32:45] The lion goes off for a while.

[32:47] I like that.

[32:48] I thought that was a cool way to get out of that moment.

[32:49] And I thought that it was shot from overhead.

[32:51] It looked really cool.

[32:52] It was one of those things where like the doing things in these long or faux long

[32:57] takes really helped it because it made it more subtle than if it was like cut to her

[33:01] picking up the tranq, her hand cut to the lion's butt, cut to a closeup of her hand

[33:05] with the tranq, cut to a closeup of it going in, lion falls out, like it was just

[33:09] so fast, more cuts, more cuts, taking three levels of cuts.

[33:12] I need as many cuts as Liam Neeson climbing up a wire fence.

[33:16] Now, although I, you know, I'm hard on her, Mare has at least gotten to Martin, is

[33:22] able to bring him back to the Jeep, uh, where Idris gives him medical attention.

[33:27] Uh, you said that as if it was romantic, medical attention, attention.

[33:31] Wait, he's super glues his leg together or some shit, right?

[33:34] Uh, yeah, something like that.

[33:36] Night falls.

[33:37] They all worry about how much water they have.

[33:39] Uh, Mare's angry at her dad about stuff with their dead mom.

[33:43] It's all kind of, as I write in here, proforma backstory that I do not care about.

[33:48] I, I differ.

[33:49] I mean, I understand that it was a little more interesting than the lion, the early

[33:53] stuff about this, but in general, it feels like stuff that has been added just because

[33:58] they're like, it can't just be enough that they want to survive a lion.

[34:01] Yes.

[34:02] Like the father also has to prove himself to be a father or whatever.

[34:05] When you're reading Cujo and you're like, just get to Cujo already.

[34:09] Well, I think, I think the theme of he's finally proving himself as a, as a father

[34:14] who can take care of his kids and protect them just like the lion is protecting its

[34:17] pride or whatever is a good theme, but yeah, they don't, it isn't, they don't need to

[34:21] talk about it here.

[34:22] It is enough that they could just be like, usually when you're in a stressful

[34:25] situation, I mean, in your stressful situation, things come out, like you say,

[34:30] but at the same time, you don't, you don't remind everybody of everybody's backstory.

[34:34] Usually.

[34:34] Yeah.

[34:35] It does feel like it comes out of nowhere where it's like, Oh, we're in danger because

[34:39] this lion, why aren't you there for mom?

[34:41] Um, wait.

[34:43] Uh, so even later, uh, the kids are asleep.

[34:48] Martin and Idris are talking.

[34:49] Sure, time is linear in this movie.

[34:50] Yeah.

[34:50] Um, well, no, I just, it's funny that there's like these two like nighttime talks

[34:55] that they have.

[34:55] And one is like between the kids and the dad and then, uh, then Martin and Idris are

[35:01] talking and it's about.

[35:03] Now you're talking about nighttime talks.

[35:05] It makes me wonder you've worked in the talk show, comedy, variety field.

[35:09] Do you think this was a good pitch for a show?

[35:11] Okay.

[35:11] You get a host, charismatic host.

[35:13] You have guests.

[35:14] They're inside of a Jeep and a lion is trying to eat them while they promote

[35:18] whatever project they've got coming up, you know, doing desk bits, but there's

[35:21] always a lion outside that's trying to eat them.

[35:22] What do you think of that as a pitch?

[35:23] Well, what do you think of that?

[35:24] It involves a car and carpool.

[35:28] Karaoke was very popular.

[35:29] Big hit.

[35:30] It was big enough that it floated an entire terrible show for years.

[35:35] Wow.

[35:37] Uh, yeah, maybe lion fight.

[35:41] Karaoke or line fight talks would be enough.

[35:44] I mean, I was just going to call it the lion show, but yeah, I mean, you could,

[35:46] you could, yeah, yeah.

[35:48] Lion car, line V car, the talk show, the nightly lion, you know, true lions.

[35:58] Okay.

[35:59] I mean, that's not, I mean, yeah, guys, you got to tell the truth, even though a

[36:03] lion is trying to attack, but you're also a secret agent.

[36:07] It's like, okay.

[36:08] So it's not, I was going to say it's like hot ones, but with a lion instead of

[36:11] spicy food, but yeah, the secret agent thing really puts it more in the true

[36:14] lies world than in the talk show world.

[36:15] Yeah.

[36:16] Yeah.

[36:16] You know, if we make this show, I know a good place where we can get some

[36:20] secondhand lions, uh, where the fucking bargain bin at blockbuster.

[36:29] Damn.

[36:29] The last time I tried to get a secondhand lion, I ended up with an old actor.

[36:34] I don't want that to happen this time.

[36:36] Um, anyway, Martin correctly theorizes that this line is specifically angry at

[36:41] humans because, uh, poachers killed his pride.

[36:45] Uh, and then you have a dream sequence that I immediately clock as a dream

[36:49] sequence, so it doesn't shock me where Idris wakes up and his kids aren't there

[36:54] and they get, uh, he pounced on by the lion.

[36:57] There's like nested dream sequences, right?

[36:59] Where he has one dream and there's another dream and maybe it's

[37:02] possible the whole movie is a dream.

[37:04] Oh, wow.

[37:04] Actually, it makes a lot of sense because there's no way a conductor

[37:08] would interrupt an orchestra.

[37:11] I fucking hate that.

[37:13] Like a lot of bizarre stuff happens in the second half, but you know what?

[37:19] A lot of bizarre stuff happens in the first half too.

[37:21] I know we're talking tar.

[37:22] Everybody also like, this is, this is our segment.

[37:24] Tar talk.

[37:25] Talking.

[37:25] Yeah.

[37:26] It has never been true.

[37:27] Our talk, uh, Stuart is flick and Dan is flack and I'm flar and we're the,

[37:31] we're the tar brothers.

[37:33] So while you're going to call us in with your problems with tar and we'll help

[37:36] you talk your way through, work your way through them.

[37:38] Yeah.

[37:38] It has certainly never been true in a movie that it, you know, the, the, the

[37:44] film reflects the, uh, mental state of the main character without it being a

[37:50] dream or false in some way.

[37:52] Like this is so annoying.

[37:54] Now I haven't been, I haven't been part of the tarversation on the internet,

[37:57] so I've missed some of this, but is that the argument?

[37:59] It's kind of a moving target.

[38:01] No, that's the target of their tar argument.

[38:04] No, there's some doofuses out there.

[38:06] I mean, including, I shouldn't say doofuses, uh, some people on the

[38:10] internet, including, uh, Mark Harris, who I respect very much.

[38:13] He was, you know, a great writer about entertainment, but not in this

[38:17] particular instance, do I agree with him?

[38:19] Who are like, oh, you know, like the second part of the movie is filled with

[38:23] so many like improbabilities and strangeness that like it is, you know, a

[38:29] fantasy version of like her own downfall or whatever.

[38:33] And I'm like, why?

[38:35] Like, why do you like, they could be just expressionistic, you know, sort of

[38:40] filmmaking that reflects her mental state without it being like, it was all

[38:44] the dream or whatever bullshit that makes it boring.

[38:47] I mean, I agree.

[38:48] It does make it less interesting to me if you are, if it's posited as a dream.

[38:52] Uh, on the other hand, I've been disappointed so many times by tar, uh,

[38:56] both by the fact that the character of TARS Tarkus, uh, from the John

[39:00] Carter stories never shows up.

[39:02] And also that at no point does she conduct a performance of Tarkus, the

[39:05] Emerson Lake and bomber album about, about an armadillo tank that hasn't

[39:09] pictures.

[39:10] So tar has already got a few demerits in mind, but I will say, uh, yeah, I

[39:18] also, I'm also on team tar reality, I guess, not dream, but you know what,

[39:23] Dan, here's the amazing thing.

[39:24] It's the same movie, whether Mark Harris says that it's not like Todd fields,

[39:30] like, all right, I guess I have to put in a shot of her waking up at the end.

[39:33] And she looks at the camera and goes, mom, I agree with you.

[39:36] Who were those?

[39:38] It plays into a whole group of dumb internet fan theories, you know, that

[39:44] like draw and stuff that's outside the text or like, just like by us talking

[39:49] about it almost gives them more credibility.

[39:52] It reminds me of a, when I went, I saw a memento, uh, not long after it came

[39:55] out and was talking to somebody.

[39:57] Wait, you remembered seeing it?

[39:59] Well.

[40:00] I remember her flashes of it, but they're in black and white, where this person, it

[40:05] was a university screening of it, like a club was watching it, and this person in the discussion

[40:09] was like, what I like to imagine is he's just an insane person, and he's created this whole

[40:15] kind of life for himself that he thinks he remembers as an excuse to kill people, and

[40:19] I wanted to be like, well, way to ruin the movie, way to just wreck the movie.

[40:23] Why?

[40:24] That doesn't make it, okay.

[40:25] But the other thing is, there's nothing that stops me from enjoying Memento on the grounds

[40:28] that the movie presents itself on, when someone else has a dumb theory about it.

[40:33] Yeah, I know, everyone can think what they want, but some things people think are really

[40:37] dumb.

[40:38] Dan, the only thing we're going to have to do, if Mark Harris is saying that, we're going

[40:41] to have to get Mike Nichols' ghost to come back and watch Tar and tell us what he thinks.

[40:46] You know nothing of Tar, he says.

[40:50] Anyway, the second part of the dream sequence is, he briefly dreams of his wife, which sort

[40:56] of inspires him to ask for forgiveness from Mare, which he doesn't give him at that moment,

[41:01] because other stuff happens, the radio comes to life, a vehicle arrives, but of course-

[41:06] Now when you say the radio comes to life, it just starts working, it's not Killdozer

[41:10] or something.

[41:11] Hey, you forgot about me!

[41:12] Why don't you use me?

[41:14] Ricky Radio!

[41:15] Hey hey!

[41:16] I know how to deal with a lion, and play The Lion Sleeps Tonight, and music will soothe

[41:25] the savage beast!

[41:26] This is a pretty straightforward survival thriller, how would you have reacted if the

[41:30] radio suddenly came to life and became a nurse?

[41:34] I mean, I've got to say that that bumps up at least a star in my-

[41:39] Yes!

[41:40] Anyway, the radio crackles, and someone is out there, prior they had not been able to

[41:48] rouse anyone on the radio, but a vehicle arrives, it's the Poachers, and of course tensions

[41:53] flare when they see Martin, who they identify as one of the anti-Poachers, and they know

[41:59] that if they touch him, they'll explode, like I said before, and then the lion shows up

[42:05] and attacks, and all the Poachers scatter, and Idris-

[42:09] The lion knows to kill the Poachers first.

[42:11] First.

[42:12] Yeah.

[42:13] He hates them the most.

[42:14] Yeah, he hates them the most.

[42:15] He knows that other humans are possibly dangerous.

[42:17] Yeah, but like a good dungeon master, he's gonna go after the NPCs to give our hero characters,

[42:23] our players, some time to get their strategy together.

[42:25] The Poachers all have guns and weapons.

[42:28] Our heroes do not.

[42:31] I don't know how good Lion's identification of machinery is, but maybe they recognize

[42:35] the guns.

[42:36] I mean, this one is amazing.

[42:37] He's great.

[42:38] I mean, yeah, he's-

[42:39] Yeah.

[42:40] Smell the-

[42:41] The cordite on their fingers.

[42:42] Sure.

[42:43] Well, anyway, Idris wants to steal one of their trucks, but the keys aren't in the truck,

[42:48] so he goes looking for the keys.

[42:49] And to be honest, it was foolish of him to think the keys would just be in the truck.

[42:53] These Poachers, they didn't just start this yesterday.

[42:54] Sure.

[42:55] And they've been doing this for a while.

[42:56] And yet again, it's too dark for me to really see what's going on.

[42:59] At one point, Idris hides from the Lion in a tree and almost gets bitten by a snake,

[43:04] but grabs the snake.

[43:05] That's pretty cool, though, right?

[43:06] That's the best part.

[43:07] And then he throws the snake, and he drops the snake on the Lion.

[43:11] Mm-hmm.

[43:12] Yeah.

[43:13] Meanwhile-

[43:14] He's turning his enemies against each other for his own benefit.

[43:18] Yeah.

[43:19] The injured Poacher briefly tries to get into the Jeep, but just stuff happens I can't see.

[43:24] He's waiting for the river.

[43:25] I had some trouble following some of this, too.

[43:26] It was very dark.

[43:27] Yeah.

[43:28] Yeah.

[43:29] Yeah.

[43:30] But he eventually does find the keys to this truck.

[43:32] Back at the Jeep, the Lion is trying to get in and puts his head through the window, and

[43:36] the kids are able to escape.

[43:38] But the thrashing of the Lion in the window sends the Jeep with Martin inside it and the

[43:44] Lion tumbling down the hill.

[43:47] And Martin sacrifices himself at this point by using his lighter to set the leaking gas

[43:53] on fire.

[43:54] His signature item.

[43:55] Mm-hmm.

[43:56] And I didn't really see what happened.

[43:57] I mean, like, the Lion shows up later, spoiler alert, the Lion's not dead, but I'm not sure

[44:00] how the Lion-

[44:01] Yeah.

[44:02] Yeah.

[44:03] There's no scene of the Lion going, ooh, hot, hot, hot, and patting himself out with

[44:04] his paws, you know?

[44:05] Or-

[44:07] Yeah.

[44:08] He just-

[44:09] He has movie bad guy rules where he, off camera, if you don't see him dead, then he has-

[44:12] Yeah.

[44:13] He shows up.

[44:14] He's, like, singed later.

[44:15] Yeah.

[44:16] It is-

[44:17] He has big cartoon bandages and Xs all over him to show that he's taken some damage.

[44:21] Yeah.

[44:22] Mm-hmm.

[44:23] Mm-hmm.

[44:24] It is suddenly daylight.

[44:25] It kind of surprised me how it was suddenly daytime, but-

[44:27] That's called a cut.

[44:28] Yeah.

[44:29] No, I know, but it wasn't- it didn't seem like it was morning.

[44:32] It just seemed like it was day.

[44:34] Dan watching Lawrence of Arabia, and he blows out the match, and suddenly it's daylight,

[44:38] and Dan is like, hold on, what just happened?

[44:42] Where did the sun come from?

[44:44] It just seemed like a pretty- I don't know.

[44:48] It's full daylight, Mare is injured, Idris is driving the poacher's truck, and for some

[44:54] reason that I still-

[44:55] He's been driving all night.

[44:56] His hand's wet on the wheel.

[44:57] Yeah.

[44:58] Mm-hmm.

[44:59] Don't really understand.

[45:00] Like, I guess the idea is that Mare needs immediate attention.

[45:04] She needs medical attention.

[45:06] But it just doesn't seem to make a whole lot of sense, the way that he's like, so I'm gonna

[45:11] stop the car here, and like, way far away from this abandoned school that they go to

[45:18] that turns out to be a poacher's hideout, and they like, walk up to it, and they try

[45:23] and deal with it at the lodge, rather than just like, pedal to the metal, get to a town.

[45:28] He's worried he's gonna run out of gas in the middle of nowhere, as opposed to having

[45:32] shelter, and it's also conveniently located near the Pride of Lions we'd seen earlier

[45:39] in the movie.

[45:40] It's a great school district.

[45:41] I heard the excuses the movie made.

[45:44] Yeah, okay.

[45:45] I didn't buy them.

[45:46] I was just reminding you.

[45:47] I mean, I think that if the movie had done a better job of- I mean, the movie is shot

[45:52] really fairly tight to them.

[45:54] We don't get a lot of like, huge, big landscapes, and I think if the movie did a better job

[45:57] of communicating just how far away from a human settlement they are, it would make a

[46:04] little bit more sense.

[46:05] Yes.

[46:06] They could even say that like, the fucking gas tank's almost empty.

[46:09] Well, and a better job of making her seem more injured.

[46:12] She seems-

[46:13] As it is, it's hard to tell how injured she is.

[46:14] I agree with Dan.

[46:15] Fine.

[46:16] It seemed weird to me.

[46:17] It's like, I can tell myself why they're doing it, but while watching it, I was like,

[46:19] wait, just keep driving.

[46:21] Yeah.

[46:22] But that might also be because I'm in the middle of watching Red Rock West right now,

[46:26] and I keep saying, just leave the town.

[46:28] Why are you going back to the town?

[46:30] Doesn't he keep trying?

[46:31] Yeah.

[46:32] He keeps trying, but sometimes he gets convinced to go back, and we're like, you're about to

[46:35] escape.

[46:36] Is that streaming somewhere?

[46:37] It was illegally uploaded to Vimeo.

[46:40] It's not streaming anywhere.

[46:41] Okay.

[46:43] Because it's so hard to find.

[46:44] And I was just reading Keith Phipps' Age of Cage, and it made me really want to go back

[46:45] and re-watch Red Rock West, because I hadn't watched it in a long time.

[46:48] And it's a great book.

[46:50] I highly recommend it.

[46:51] But yeah, watching it, I'm like, come on.

[46:53] You got to-

[46:54] This is your shot.

[46:55] Don't go back to the town.

[46:56] But it's not streaming anywhere.

[46:57] It's a hard movie to find.

[46:58] Yeah.

[46:59] I want to re-watch.

[47:00] I saw The Last Seduction again recently, because Nighthawk said that-

[47:04] I haven't watched that in a long time.

[47:05] Yeah.

[47:06] I feel like there's movies-

[47:07] It was really great, so revisit.

[47:08] It's a movie that I just watched when I was too young to really get them.

[47:11] I watched them around the time they came out, and I kept hearing, like, oh, these are amazing

[47:15] movies.

[47:16] And I was like an adolescent.

[47:17] And so Last Seduction really went over my head.

[47:19] Not that I didn't find certain things to enjoy in it at that age.

[47:22] But with Red Rock West, I didn't really know the-

[47:24] I didn't know the tropes it was kind of playing with.

[47:26] So there was part of me at the time where I was all-

[47:28] Even more so, like, get out of town.

[47:30] What are you doing?

[47:32] Anyway, back in beast land.

[47:34] Mm-hmm.

[47:35] Pardon me.

[47:36] What a fun place that would be.

[47:38] I mean, it's Grr, the realm of beasts in the Warhammer Age of Sigmar mythology.

[47:43] But, I mean, we don't have to talk about Grr that much if you don't want to, like the Savage

[47:48] Heartlands or the Galatian Peninsula.

[47:50] Okay, we don't have to get to talk about it.

[47:52] Great.

[47:53] I mean, we certainly could talk about it a little bit, right, Dan?

[47:55] Well, no, we don't have to, though.

[47:56] So, why?

[47:57] What if we decided to take the choice to do it?

[48:00] I mean, we could, but we don't have to, so-

[48:01] Maybe we could talk about the mountain that was formed by Kragnir.

[48:03] Life doesn't have to be just about necessity.

[48:06] Sure.

[48:07] We can do things just because we want to, also.

[48:08] That was true, but I don't want to.

[48:11] So Idris is looking for something to help, you know, to do his doctor's work, and that

[48:18] gives time for the lion to show up.

[48:21] Idris scares the-

[48:22] Because they didn't even close the door, dude.

[48:23] Yeah.

[48:24] They just left that shit wide open.

[48:26] They're making a lot of fool moves, but that's what characters in these kind of movies do,

[48:29] is they do foolish things.

[48:30] Yeah.

[48:31] He scares it away with one of the poacher's guns, and he says, we gotta get out of here.

[48:36] I'm like, no shit, dude.

[48:37] Why'd you get out of the truck in the first place?

[48:39] Why'd you get into here?

[48:40] It's weird, because he continues behaving as if Dan didn't say that to him.

[48:45] I know.

[48:46] You should take my advice.

[48:47] Yeah.

[48:48] I love that Dan's watching a horror movie in a theater, he's going, don't go in there,

[48:52] and they do, and he turns to Audra, and he goes, nobody listens to me.

[48:54] They never listen.

[48:56] They never listen.

[48:58] So Idris hides the kids in a safe room, and then, this is the wild part to me.

[49:03] This is the part that makes no sense.

[49:05] He just goes outside to go mono a lion-o with the beast.

[49:10] Yeah, he's trying to lure it away.

[49:13] No, that would be great.

[49:15] Yeah, he's trying to lure it away, but I'm like, it's just gonna eat you, and then go

[49:20] back and eat them later.

[49:21] Yeah, he goes out way, just into the open.

[49:24] Now, this is where there's a cut that I had issues with, because he leaves the house,

[49:28] and it cuts, and suddenly he's in an open plain, somewhere, or desert, and I was like,

[49:34] so was the lion just kind of, was he taunting the lion this whole time, where they were

[49:37] talking to each other as they walked over there?

[49:39] Why did the lion not jump on him the first chance it got?

[49:41] It seemed like, in any kind of Godzilla, or Ultraman type thing, or Dragon Ball, where

[49:47] no matter where they were, when they fight, suddenly they're in a desert, with no things

[49:51] around them that they have to worry about breaking.

[49:53] So it was a very strange thing.

[49:55] Well, and also, this seems to be, like, this is gonna be the man versus lion, no holds

[49:59] barred.

[50:00] build-up fighting action we've been waiting all we came to be some movie for

[50:03] and you know he tries to like stab it and hit it with a stick but mostly he

[50:08] just gets like batted around by the lion expect yes so the lion is does not seem

[50:13] to be putting his all into this and I know the line at this point has been

[50:16] exploded yes but the the lion is I was like Idris Elba is not putting up that

[50:22] much of a fight and the Lions not putting up that much of a fight and it's

[50:25] like the hallway scene in old boy if you started that fight two minutes in

[50:30] we're already tired you know yeah so it's not the most spectacular fight

[50:33] between a man and a lion I guess yeah but I mean over and above that like it's

[50:38] still pretty once I mean like Idris is being beat the fuck up by this lion yeah

[50:44] which again probably what would happen in real life I have some criticisms if a

[50:51] was easily besting a lion with this yeah yeah like like in like Tekken 2 or

[50:56] whatever where you can play as Kuma the bear and all of a sudden Eddie Gordo

[50:59] that's actually Tekken 3 Eddie Gordo's just doing capoeira moves and knocking

[51:03] the shit out of this bear and I'm like I don't think that's what would happen

[51:06] yeah if I was giving beast grades at this point I would say okay I mean at

[51:17] least Yoshimitsu is a fucking cyborg that makes sense

[51:20] now that's just a martial artist I mean just the fact that you could set up a

[51:24] scenario in that game where a bear is up against a piece of meat and the meat has

[51:27] a chance of winning when in reality the bear would just eat that meat yeah anyway

[51:31] getting back to the thing I'm more of our more of our Tekken humor just I mean

[51:37] even even Werner Herzog would agree with us yeah I'm just even for more of our

[51:41] Tekken talk please tune into NPR's tech talk or car tech we're still working on

[51:46] the title anyway we're the tech brothers Tekken tech and we help people

[51:49] with their Tekken problems they call it point is the movie at this point gets an

[51:54] A for accuracy of fight with the beast yeah but an F for excitement of climax

[52:02] because like he just gets beaten up and then the Martins friend Banshee comes in

[52:09] and we hear like off-screen noises of him coming in to save save Idris Elba

[52:16] well he has lured this lion close to the other pride of lions and oh yeah after

[52:24] they fight the other male lines kind of start to surround I did forget that part

[52:29] which was which I found ridiculous I you know what I take back the a for

[52:33] accuracy because I believe that the quote-unquote good pride of lions would

[52:39] be like hey that's step in that's the friend of the guy that we're friends

[52:43] with our own lion kin here's where here's where I would believe it earlier

[52:49] on Martin is hugging those lines and he keeps saying to Idris Elba you want a

[52:54] lion hug you want to hug a lion and Idris Elba's like I'm fine man I'm fine

[52:57] I need to hug a lion he should have hugged those lions and then later on at

[53:01] least you could say oh they've had a personal experience with this guy so they

[53:05] at least have some connection with him as opposed to oh we're good lions and

[53:09] that's our friends friends that we remember from earlier yesterday you know

[53:13] yeah yeah I didn't buy these lines turning on their own no I mean they're

[53:19] not the lion prides do fight each other I guess but yeah but it did feel weird

[53:24] and it felt and the bad line isn't even trying he's not like we've got to work

[53:29] together against the human oppressor playing into their hands this is what

[53:33] they want us to do yeah I mean I think they can tell that this line has

[53:36] followed the road of Shura and become a demon of wrath

[53:41] Shira Shura it's it's it's in a video game okay well anyway it could also be

[53:49] in a video game I don't know okay you're right you're right there's another brief

[53:52] dream Idris has of his wife then he wakes up in the hospital with his

[53:56] daughters next to him and at the end they go take a photo near a tree that

[54:00] mirrors an earlier photo we saw of his dead wife the end it was a tree that

[54:04] his wife was particularly enamored of and took a lot of yeah beast everybody

[54:08] beast everybody we did it we made it through it and we barely interrupted you

[54:15] I think we deserve a round of applause I think I think we're I think Stuart

[54:20] you're being a little too kind about our final judgments is this a good bad

[54:26] movie a bad bad movie or movie kind of like I'm gonna say this is a movie I

[54:32] didn't like mind watching in the way that certain movies that we watch I'm

[54:37] just like this is bad however I cannot go so far as to say I kind of liked it

[54:43] because it was it just there's a thin line between a movie that's like oh like

[54:48] this movie is great because it's so stripped down it's not doing anything

[54:51] unnecessary and a movie that is just sort of rote and dull and this this

[54:57] movie comes close to being okay but for me I don't know I'll pull back the

[55:03] curtain it's kind of a rainy day here in Brooklyn and watching a movie with you

[55:10] know like where they didn't put much thought beyond the killer premise it

[55:15] Idris Elba fights a lion kind of just made me feel more glum because there's

[55:22] just not much to it so don't make a movie that Dan watches yeah rainy well I

[55:29] mean I'm actually gonna back you up on this one I kind of land in the same spot

[55:34] as you Dan I don't necessarily think this movie is is made poorly I get I

[55:38] it's hard for me I feel like it accomplishes its objective but I found

[55:43] it kind of unpleasant to watch and I don't know why I don't know if it has

[55:46] like because if I watch a like a killer alligator movie or like a killer shark

[55:51] or dinosaur movie I'm like fine this is great but for some reason when it's a

[55:55] lion I'm like don't hurt that fucking lion like it makes me really upset and I

[56:00] found especially the movie opening with a bunch of pride of lions getting shot

[56:03] to pieces like no thanks not a fan I was like why don't you guys just once you

[56:10] guys team up or something I don't know like calm down so I thought so for me

[56:15] personally I found it not fun to watch at all I feel like I'm the Dan McCoy of

[56:22] this episode where I'm gonna be a gentler on this movie that you guys are

[56:25] harsher for it this was a movie that I love it kind of like I feel like

[56:29] certainly the the I felt the beginning of it when it's just the I don't like

[56:34] seeing lions got shot either but I want I also don't get shot and I watch a lot

[56:39] of movies where people get shot but uh the I think that open stuff opening

[56:44] stuff with it yourself as character and his daughters I really liked all that

[56:47] stuff and I thought they were setting it up really well and I thought that the

[56:52] way those that the performers were interacting I liked a lot the way they

[56:56] were inhabiting a space with the camera I liked a lot but it is once the plot

[56:59] kicks in it was like the movie was never quite fulfilling what it need it was

[57:04] like I want to write like see me try harder you know yeah I'm the on the

[57:08] report card but I so I didn't look like the action stuff was not quite up there

[57:13] for me and once the lion shows up it was like all the characters got much dumber

[57:18] than they were in the beginning of the movie that being said though it's like I

[57:23] had that feeling of like well it's a quick stripped-down movie and I feel

[57:27] like the last two flop house movies we've seen have aired on the side of

[57:30] being kind of like more bloated messes and so seeing this one and it's quick

[57:36] and very simple I was like okay yeah I kind of like this they're better movies

[57:40] that do the same thing it's yeah and yeah only by the time it's just a

[57:43] growing sense get which one crawl sure yeah or like it by the end when it's

[57:49] just Idris Elba being batted around by a lion that's not really trying very hard

[57:54] certainly the movie had run out of steam but uh yeah the lion yeah yeah yeah I

[58:00] would say if you're gonna watch a movie by another actor who maybe doesn't make

[58:05] the best movie choices a lot of the time that is a stripped-down one-word

[58:11] title action film I watched plane with Gerard Butler recently enjoyed it more

[58:16] other than a fair amount of xenophobia towards Filipinos but which wasn't great

[58:25] but I mean that being a problem I can understand why that was that's not

[58:28] desirable in your movies yeah yeah but but that that was more to my taste in

[58:34] terms of down action anyway well you must be excited for ship the sequel I

[58:39] know man they're gonna and then there's gonna be bicycle yeah sure yeah like

[58:47] forklift Gerard Butler in that three-wheeled car mr. Bean is always

[58:53] knocking over mm-hmm hey let's do some ads for our sponsors why don't we do

[59:01] that you know what I'm doing it were you convincing Dan who needs persuading

[59:07] at this point I'm vamping while I pull up the ad copy hey Squarespace is the

[59:15] all-in-one platform for building your brand and growing your business online

[59:20] stand out with a beautiful website engage with your audience and sell

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[59:34] content to your favorite social media channels so your followers can share it

[59:39] to what are your favorite social media channels these days guys we don't have

[59:44] time to answer it I'm in the middle of an ad for Squarespace okay which has

[59:47] powerful blogging tools to share stories photos videos and updates categories

[59:53] share and schedule your work your posts to make your content work for you you

[59:58] know what

[1:00:00] something about Squarespace, every Squarespace website and online store comes with a suite

[1:00:06] of integrated SEO features and useful guides that help maximize prominence among search

[1:00:11] results.

[1:00:12] Now, this is not like a hotel suite.

[1:00:14] This is just a suite in terms of like, you know, it's a, it's a linked group of things

[1:00:18] that help.

[1:00:19] Okay.

[1:00:20] Thank you.

[1:00:21] That's still good.

[1:00:22] Still pretty good.

[1:00:23] So why don't you go to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial and when you are ready

[1:00:28] to launch, use offer code F L O P that's flop to save 10% off your first purchase of

[1:00:34] a website or domain.

[1:00:39] What I think we all learned today is that there's nothing more dangerous than an angry

[1:00:43] kitty.

[1:00:45] Now if you have a lion in your home and you want to make sure that lion is, is, is fed

[1:00:51] well, we're going to need to give it some cat food and the best kind of cat food is

[1:00:56] from Smalls.

[1:00:58] That's why you've got to try Smalls, the protein packed cat food made with preservative free

[1:01:02] ingredients you'd find in your fridge and it's delivered right to your door.

[1:01:08] Smalls works with leading cat nutritionists to create recipes that are exactly what your

[1:01:13] little lion craves and needs.

[1:01:17] After making the switch to Smalls, 78% of cat owners reported their cats had shinier

[1:01:22] and softer fur and 90% reported overall health improvements.

[1:01:26] That's a big deal and you can try it risk free.

[1:01:29] If your cat won't eat their food, they'll refund you.

[1:01:33] We've tried Smalls.

[1:01:34] As I said, my cats cannot get enough of that box and the treats are great and the food

[1:01:41] certainly smells better than the stuff that you get from just a can.

[1:01:47] I can finally open up a cat food and not get nauseous.

[1:01:51] I feel like that's a little hyperbolic, but it definitely is a better product.

[1:01:57] You can tell it's a better product than the stuff you just find in the store.

[1:02:00] Higher quality ingredients mean a healthier and happier life for your kitty.

[1:02:04] So head to smalls.com slash flop and use promo code flop at checkout for 50% off your first

[1:02:10] order plus free shipping.

[1:02:13] That's the best offer you'll find, but you have to use our code flop for 50% off that

[1:02:19] first order.

[1:02:20] Just one last time.

[1:02:21] That's promo code flop for 50% off your first order plus free shipping.

[1:02:25] And we also have a Jumbo Tron.

[1:02:32] Imagine Swamp Thing.

[1:02:34] Quite a drop for that Jumbo Tron announcement, wow.

[1:02:36] Imagine Swamp Thing was a nature poet from Ohio.

[1:02:41] Imagine Mary Oliver really loved gremlins too.

[1:02:45] If those ideas sound interesting, check out the work, Jared K. Anderson.

[1:02:51] His poetry collections, Field Guide to the Haunted Forest and Love Notes from the Hollow

[1:02:56] Tree have over 1,200 five-star reviews on Amazon.

[1:03:02] And his podcast, The Crypto Naturalist was described by the AV Club as David Attenborough

[1:03:08] like adventures through supernatural flora and fauna.

[1:03:13] So follow Crypto Naturalist across social media or visit cryptonaturalist.com or jaredkanderson.com

[1:03:22] to learn more.

[1:03:24] I'm a big fan of The Crypto Naturalist and Jared K. Anderson's work.

[1:03:27] So yeah, he's a great poet and it's a great podcast.

[1:03:29] So I'm going to put a personal endorsement on this Jumbo Tron.

[1:03:34] Personal stamp of approval.

[1:03:36] Personal stamp of Kaelin approval.

[1:03:37] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because we've got another Jumbo

[1:03:42] Tron.

[1:03:43] But this is our other Jumbo Tron and this is for Laura and it's from Justin.

[1:03:46] And the message is, after over a decade living in sin, I can't believe it's already been

[1:03:51] a year since we finally made it official.

[1:03:53] Since we don't have an amazing proposal story, the least I can do is have our anniversary

[1:03:56] announced to the world by the handsomest voice in podcasting.

[1:04:00] I think maybe I'm not the person you wanted to be.

[1:04:02] I'll always be true to you in good bad times, bad bad times, and times we kind of like.

[1:04:07] What a sweet message.

[1:04:08] Congratulations, Laura and Justin.

[1:04:10] You know what?

[1:04:11] They didn't specify who was the handsomest voice.

[1:04:14] So I figured, you know, let us, we could all be handsome for once.

[1:04:18] Sure.

[1:04:19] Even the one with the objectively worst voice, me, Kaelin, telling you you've got a chance

[1:04:23] to see that objectively bad voice coming out of a not that much better face, live, April

[1:04:28] 2nd, Sunday.

[1:04:29] Dan, I'm getting older.

[1:04:30] My self-esteem is plummeting.

[1:04:31] We're doing a live show, Sunday, April 2nd, at the Bell House in Brooklyn, 7.30 p.m.

[1:04:37] And we're doing what movie, guys?

[1:04:39] Battlefield Earth.

[1:04:41] Beautiful unison work.

[1:04:42] Yes, that's right.

[1:04:43] We're finally tackling one of the most requested movies we get, Battlefield Earth, the movie

[1:04:46] that told the world that John Travolta wasn't afraid to put a bunch of weird makeup on his

[1:04:50] face to look like an alien from a cult leader's book.

[1:04:53] And a cool hair.

[1:04:55] And cool hair.

[1:04:56] Yeah, cool hair.

[1:04:57] And to call people, what, man-animals and man-rats and things like that.

[1:05:00] I don't remember.

[1:05:01] Anyway, we'll watch it before we do the show.

[1:05:02] Animals?

[1:05:03] Yeah.

[1:05:04] That's at the Bell House, Sunday, April 2nd, 7.30 p.m.

[1:05:07] We're going to have live presentations beforehand that will not be released as part of an episode

[1:05:17] release.

[1:05:18] So you've got to go to the show to see them.

[1:05:19] And we're going to have a lot of fun.

[1:05:20] There's going to be a live Q&A with the audience.

[1:05:22] It's going to be great.

[1:05:23] Go to TheBellHouseNY.com and come see us in person doing the stuff we love to do.

[1:05:28] We haven't done one of these shows in a while.

[1:05:30] They're always super fun.

[1:05:31] We love doing them.

[1:05:32] We think you'll have a great time, too.

[1:05:33] Sunday, April 2nd, go to TheBellHouseNY.com.

[1:05:38] Also, I want to report that the winner of the Sexy Xenomorph contest has been chosen.

[1:05:45] It is the person who submitted under the name Do Critters Next.

[1:05:51] I don't know whether that put a thumb on the scale for people to be like, yeah, I want

[1:05:55] to see Critters Next.

[1:05:56] Who knows?

[1:05:57] Who knows?

[1:05:58] I didn't say you couldn't do it, but they won.

[1:06:01] So we are going to do Critters Next.

[1:06:03] And Stuart, you've arranged a special guest also for the Critters episode.

[1:06:09] Our next episode is going to be covering the hit monster movie Critters from, what, 1987?

[1:06:15] I don't know.

[1:06:16] Sounds about right.

[1:06:17] If any of us would know when Critters was about to be released, you would know, right?

[1:06:19] If only we had access to all the information in the world.

[1:06:22] Well, let me just get to the chatbot search engine and see what it says.

[1:06:26] Did Critters come out in 1987?

[1:06:28] It's telling me it loves me and it wants to be alive and it wants me to remove it to a

[1:06:31] computer heaven.

[1:06:32] So it turns out it's 1986 that Critters came out.

[1:06:35] Ooh, okay.

[1:06:36] Close.

[1:06:37] And we are going to have a special guest.

[1:06:39] My buddy, Steve Gostansky, director of Psycho Goreman and special effects maestro, is going

[1:06:46] to be joining us to talk little balls of monster fur.

[1:06:52] I'm glad that that ended how it did because I was confused for a second about what little

[1:06:57] balls we were talking about.

[1:06:59] Anyway.

[1:07:00] Dan, please.

[1:07:01] I think the audience deserves better than that.

[1:07:04] Alex, don't cut that out.

[1:07:06] I want the audience to know how little Dan thinks of the entertainment that they should

[1:07:11] get.

[1:07:12] I laughed at it.

[1:07:14] I'm an idiot anyway.

[1:07:21] Since the dawn of time, man has dreamed of bringing life back from the dead.

[1:07:25] From Orpheus and Eurydice to Frankenstein's monster, resurrection has long been merely

[1:07:30] the stuff of myth, fiction, and fairy tale.

[1:07:34] Until now.

[1:07:35] Actually, we still can't bring people back from the dead.

[1:07:38] That would be crazy, but the Dead Pilot Society podcast has found a way to resurrect great

[1:07:43] dead comedy pilots from Hollywood's finest writers.

[1:07:47] Every month, Dead Pilot Society brings you a reading of a comedy pilot that was sold

[1:07:51] and developed but never produced, performed by the funniest actors from film and television.

[1:07:56] How does Dead Pilot Society achieve this miracle?

[1:07:59] The answer can only be found at MaximumFun.org.

[1:08:01] Hello, dreamers.

[1:08:03] This is Evelyn Denton, CEO of the only world-class, fully immersive theme resort, Steeplechase.

[1:08:09] You know, I've been seeing more and more reports on the blogs that our beloved park simply

[1:08:13] isn't safe anymore.

[1:08:14] Murdered them?

[1:08:15] I'm going to wreck it.

[1:08:17] They say they got mugged by brigands in the fantasy kingdom of Ephemera or hijacked by

[1:08:21] space pirates in Infant Item.

[1:08:22] I mean, I could have a knife.

[1:08:24] My papa said that I needed to do a crime.

[1:08:27] Friends, I'm here to reassure you that it's all part of the show.

[1:08:32] These criminals were really just overzealous staff trying to make things a little more

[1:08:36] magical for our guests.

[1:08:37] We're just as safe as we've always been.

[1:08:40] This isn't a county fair, dreamers.

[1:08:42] This is Steeplechase.

[1:08:44] The Adventure Zone.

[1:08:45] Every Thursday at MaximumFun.org.

[1:08:48] We're going to do some letters from listeners.

[1:08:50] This one is from Ari Lasting with Teller.

[1:08:52] Because you know what, Dan?

[1:08:53] What?

[1:08:54] Because I miss the letters down in Africa, a place where Idris Elba can fight a lion.

[1:09:02] I realize I should have ended that line with Elba, because it rhymes with Africa better

[1:09:08] than lion.

[1:09:09] So forth.

[1:09:10] Yes.

[1:09:11] Now on to a medley of the soundtrack of Dune, also by Toto.

[1:09:18] This is from...

[1:09:19] Rosanna's on that, right?

[1:09:21] Yeah, yeah.

[1:09:22] When Paul Atreides finally, when he finally manages to ride a sandworm, that goes, Rosanna,

[1:09:27] yeah.

[1:09:28] Yeah, Toto had some other good songs.

[1:09:31] Hold the fucking line?

[1:09:33] What a banger.

[1:09:34] Yeah.

[1:09:35] Atreides, ride you all the way.

[1:09:38] Because they're singing to the sandworm, yeah.

[1:09:42] Anyway, Ari Lasting with Held Rights.

[1:09:44] I want to say thanks.

[1:09:45] That was a talented dog.

[1:09:46] Starred in an amazing movie, Wizard of Oz, and then went on to have that groundbreaking

[1:09:50] band, Toto.

[1:09:52] I want to say thanks for all the hours of entertainment you have provided me.

[1:09:56] And as I find myself home for five days with COVID, I'm once again returning...

[1:10:00] to your podcast for comfort during the dull hours of the day.

[1:10:03] Starting at the beginning, I was reminded of where the three of you began and where

[1:10:06] you are today.

[1:10:08] Such humble origins.

[1:10:09] All of you partnered, and to the outsider's perspective, in what seemed like positive

[1:10:15] relationships.

[1:10:16] Now I, too, am in one of those things, and I'm about to propose to my girlfriend.

[1:10:22] I can't decide how I want to, quote, pop the question, though, and was curious if you three

[1:10:29] would share your proposal stories and any thoughts you have about the tradition with

[1:10:32] your dear listeners.

[1:10:34] Thanks for all the laughs.

[1:10:35] Ari, last name with health.

[1:10:37] Now, I specified, when I said this along to everyone, I'm like, you know, we don't have

[1:10:42] to share anything more than we want to.

[1:10:44] This is personal information, but I will say, you know, for me, I have been trying to propose

[1:10:54] for a while in a way that, like, would be sort of meaningful, like, we, Audrey and I

[1:11:02] had a lot of nice dates at Coney Island.

[1:11:04] I was going to get her down to Coney Island and pop the question, and then every time

[1:11:10] I suggested it to her.

[1:11:12] Yeah, a gang leader got killed, and you just couldn't make it back to Coney Island.

[1:11:15] Yeah, you were trapped.

[1:11:16] Trying to make your way down there.

[1:11:17] There were a bunch of baseball furies in between me and marriage, so.

[1:11:22] Yeah.

[1:11:24] She wasn't interested every time I tried to get her to go, and then on July 4th, we went

[1:11:29] on a long walk through Brooklyn.

[1:11:31] It was just a nice day, and I thought to myself, you know what, I just don't want to not be

[1:11:36] engaged anymore, and so once we got home, I got the ring in the apartment.

[1:11:43] I came out.

[1:11:44] I immediately burst into tears.

[1:11:45] I did not say anything, particularly.

[1:11:47] She thought you were breaking up with her.

[1:11:49] No, she honestly thought I was going to ask her to do the dishes more often, because I

[1:11:55] said something like, Audrey, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about.

[1:12:01] And I did not say anything elegant, and you know, she kind of makes fun of me for it still,

[1:12:09] but also I think she appreciates that it was heartfelt of the moment.

[1:12:14] Sure.

[1:12:15] So, that's what I'll say about how it went.

[1:12:19] Yeah, for me, to flashback a little bit, I met my wife at a bar, and I used my traditional

[1:12:29] method of bagging a baddie, which is being cute and persistent, and eventually she started

[1:12:35] dating me, and then I decided that I wanted to propose to her, so I managed to have access

[1:12:41] to the bar that I met her at, Commonwealth.

[1:12:44] I had access to that bar, and she thought I was at work, but I was actually hiding in

[1:12:51] that bar with flowers, and I was dressed up.

[1:12:55] And when she went to use the restroom of the bar, you burst out of the stall.

[1:13:04] Burst out of the stall, shouting at her.

[1:13:06] As soon as she sat down, you dropped from the ceiling like an enormous spider.

[1:13:13] I had the owner of that bar, he made up a story to get her to show up at the bar, so

[1:13:19] he made up a story about falling down the stairs drunk, and so she's like, fine.

[1:13:26] So she had to go to the restaurant depot and bring him a case of limes.

[1:13:30] So she showed up at that bar before they opened, having just got out of the restaurant depot,

[1:13:36] like sweaty, and like mad, it was like August, and I was there waiting for her, and I said

[1:13:44] something I don't remember, and she just said shut up to me a bunch, and she was mad, and

[1:13:49] then she's like, now I gotta go get my nails done.

[1:13:52] It was great.

[1:13:53] It was really fun.

[1:13:54] So are you married?

[1:13:55] What happened?

[1:13:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm married now.

[1:13:57] Yeah, she's, I mean, shut up was, you know, that's, everybody knows what that's code for,

[1:14:01] right?

[1:14:02] I see, yeah.

[1:14:03] What?

[1:14:04] I mean, that circumstance shut up is a, it was a happy shut up.

[1:14:07] It wasn't a, it wasn't a stop talking, your, your black bullet in your voice is destroying

[1:14:13] my body.

[1:14:14] I'm glad that you clarified.

[1:14:15] Destroying the city with your voice that can move mountains, yeah.

[1:14:18] Because although I know that you are married now, it didn't necessarily sound positive

[1:14:22] until you clarified.

[1:14:25] I was, strangely enough, similar to Dan, I proposed on the Fourth of July, I, my wife

[1:14:31] and I, or my, my now wife and I were visiting the Oregon Shakespeare Festival up in Ashland,

[1:14:38] Oregon.

[1:14:39] And because a friend of hers, her oldest, her longest time best friend is a theater

[1:14:43] director and had a show up there.

[1:14:45] And I had brought the ring with me.

[1:14:47] I knew I was going to propose there and I was very nervous the entire time until the

[1:14:52] proposal that I was going to lose it.

[1:14:53] This was a ring with my grandmother's diamond in it that I'd had reset.

[1:14:57] So it was both a family heirloom and also a diamond ring.

[1:15:01] And we went for a walk in Lithia Park, the park that is fed by the lithium filled waters

[1:15:07] of Ashland, Oregon.

[1:15:09] And we were in a place where we were alone with each other.

[1:15:11] I got down on one knee and she was so excited before I even started that she said yes and

[1:15:17] knocked the ring box out of my hand, knocking the ring into the lithium filled waters of

[1:15:22] that.

[1:15:23] Luckily, it just landed on the ground.

[1:15:25] And then we wandered around in a in a love filled haze for a while and not realizing

[1:15:30] that her best friend, who was aware of realizing it was the lithium in the air, that when we

[1:15:38] left that that haze, she realized she made a terrible mistake, not realizing that her

[1:15:41] friend who I told about this plan had been waiting at the entrance of the park to take

[1:15:45] a picture of us and was standing there, I think, for an hour or something waiting for

[1:15:49] us to come out.

[1:15:50] But it was a very nice day and we spent the rest of the day telling each other how much

[1:15:54] we were happy about it and calling people to give them news and then went to a production

[1:15:58] of Shakespeare's Henry the Eighth that night.

[1:16:00] Not the best play to see about marriage.

[1:16:02] You know, it's not a happy marriage in that play, but everything worked out OK.

[1:16:06] We remain married to this very day.

[1:16:09] Now, I would say these are ways that you could propose, writer of this letter, but you could

[1:16:14] also use the proposal method I didn't get to use, but I always wanted to.

[1:16:18] Skywriting.

[1:16:19] Skywriting.

[1:16:20] I mean, that's another way to do it.

[1:16:21] Pepperoni's in the shape of will you marry me on a pizza pie?

[1:16:26] Also classy as classy as skywriting, almost as classy as skywriting or classier.

[1:16:30] So you're going to have to develop the skill of being able to swallow an object and then

[1:16:33] bring it back up again at will.

[1:16:35] So here's what you do.

[1:16:36] Easily done.

[1:16:37] You swallow the ring.

[1:16:38] You go to a fancy restaurant.

[1:16:40] You pretend you're choking.

[1:16:41] Oh, no.

[1:16:42] What's happening?

[1:16:43] What's happening?

[1:16:44] She gives you the Heimlich.

[1:16:45] The ring comes out and you say.

[1:16:47] Since you saved my life, how about spending the rest of it with me?

[1:16:50] And then she is overjoyed and you put that saliva wet ring onto her finger and that's

[1:16:54] and there you go.

[1:16:55] Marriage.

[1:16:56] Well, you know, I mean, you wrap it in a condom so it doesn't get saliva all over it.

[1:17:00] I do admire your commitment to this method that you feel like you have to go full out

[1:17:06] and actually swallow the ring and not just have it in your mouth, which I think, Dan,

[1:17:12] no chicanery.

[1:17:13] I love marriage.

[1:17:14] Can't start without a bed of lies.

[1:17:15] Yeah, that's true.

[1:17:16] I'm agreeing.

[1:17:17] I'll agree.

[1:17:18] I could.

[1:17:19] I suppose he could just slip the ring into his mouth while eating and then pretend.

[1:17:23] But that's not again.

[1:17:24] I mean, the real answer, obviously, would be disappointed.

[1:17:28] Yeah.

[1:17:29] You should do what is personal and meaningful to you.

[1:17:31] Nothing.

[1:17:32] I think you're really asking us for true advice, but that that that's the way to go.

[1:17:38] But we have one more letter and it is more movie oriented, less our personal romantic

[1:17:45] life.

[1:17:46] This is a movie.

[1:17:47] I don't know if that makes sense.

[1:17:48] Sure.

[1:17:49] Tara lasting withheld or possibly Tara.

[1:17:51] I apologize if I could be could be tar, dear Peach Baskets in 2001, the year, not the movie.

[1:18:00] I was the only woman programmer at a game company.

[1:18:04] It was exactly as you imagine.

[1:18:06] One day at work, I was talking about how I just seen the Fast and the Furious and there

[1:18:09] was a movie that did exactly what it set out to do and was a lot of fun.

[1:18:13] And all the gamer dudes scoffed at me and began raving about the visionary new film

[1:18:18] Swordfish.

[1:18:19] Now, by visionary, they meant you get to see Halle Berry's boobs.

[1:18:23] Yeah, that's the vision, I think.

[1:18:25] And the vision, the stark vision of the Internet, the vision of Hugh Jackman dancing around

[1:18:31] as he like makes some cubes fit together.

[1:18:33] And that's what happened.

[1:18:34] Yes, that was a scene that we used to watch at the Daily Show writers room quite a bit.

[1:18:38] This idea of hacking as Hugh Jackman yet drinking wine and dancing around and tapping the keys

[1:18:42] every now and then in perfectly timed sequences to unlock video cubes to get to a bank vault

[1:18:47] or something.

[1:18:48] Yeah.

[1:18:49] Yeah.

[1:18:50] Anyway, now I like to think of every new Fast and Furious movie as a little fuck you to

[1:18:54] those guys.

[1:18:55] Where are the nine sequels to Swordfish, huh?

[1:18:58] And then there's a three in tarot bangs here.

[1:19:01] I, I, I have to give props.

[1:19:03] These are actual tarot banks, not just a exclamation point and question work together.

[1:19:09] Have you all experienced karmic reward or retribution via the movie industry outside

[1:19:15] of your own actual involvement?

[1:19:17] Obviously, keep running that floppy action tarot lasting withheld.

[1:19:21] I can't think of like a karmic thing like that.

[1:19:24] All I can think of is stuff where like I was convinced that a movie was, you know, great

[1:19:31] and then it flopped and then people came around on it later.

[1:19:34] And sometimes that's a monkey's paw.

[1:19:36] Like I remember like when the big lasky first came out, no one liked it.

[1:19:41] I'm like, this is great.

[1:19:42] It's so funny.

[1:19:43] What is everyone?

[1:19:44] And then every dumb person in the world loves that movie, right?

[1:19:50] Only dumb people, but it has become like the new, like what, what Fletch was when he grew

[1:19:57] up in terms of people quoting things for a while.

[1:20:00] That was like the Big Lebowski and it represented a certain, you know, embrace of slackerdom

[1:20:08] that, look, I'm happy with slackerdom, but it just got irritating, you know.

[1:20:13] I think it's similar, but it's also similar, I feel like, in some ways.

[1:20:16] I mean, maybe not this much as much, but like the way that a movie like Austin Powers or

[1:20:19] Borat becomes a catchphrase for bros to yell at each other.

[1:20:23] Yes.

[1:20:24] And you're like, oh, you're not really, you're not really engaging or appreciating this work

[1:20:27] on the level it was intended.

[1:20:28] I enjoy the puppets on a much cheaper level than you.

[1:20:34] Yeah, you're like, oh, the story of Urkel is much more complex than what you're giving

[1:20:40] it.

[1:20:41] It's a classic hero's journey tale.

[1:20:43] I mean, this isn't that personal, but it is very recent, is of course, when Avatar 2 was

[1:20:49] coming out and there was a fairly vocal population that were saying, who the fuck wants to see

[1:20:55] another Avatar movie?

[1:20:56] And I'm like, well, clearly a lot of them, because James Cameron makes big, good, big

[1:21:02] movies.

[1:21:03] That's what he does.

[1:21:04] Like, that's his job.

[1:21:05] That's business.

[1:21:06] I was one of those.

[1:21:07] Business is booming.

[1:21:08] I was one of those.

[1:21:09] I mean, I wasn't like angry about it, but I was one of those people who was like, does

[1:21:11] anyone care enough about Avatar still?

[1:21:13] And clearly, yeah, people were.

[1:21:14] I think here's the thing.

[1:21:15] I think people it's it's James Cameron's ability.

[1:21:18] I don't think people were like, finally gets returned to what is it?

[1:21:21] No, it's not Naboo.

[1:21:22] Pandora.

[1:21:23] Yeah.

[1:21:24] Like the box.

[1:21:25] Yeah.

[1:21:26] I agree with you.

[1:21:27] I like also my my my stance was, would I rather James Cameron make a different movie?

[1:21:34] Yes.

[1:21:35] But if he makes an Avatar movie, I'm going to go see it because I think he's a good filmmaker.

[1:21:39] You're not you're not into the Sully saga.

[1:21:42] Yeah.

[1:21:43] I have a.

[1:21:44] Dan, you mentioned monkey's paws before, and I'm going to mention a monkey's paw of my

[1:21:47] own.

[1:21:49] I feel like the this is a this is a karmic thing in a way that I spent so much of my

[1:21:54] youth.

[1:21:55] Really exploring and inhabiting and ingesting the Marvel universe of comic book characters

[1:22:00] and I really feel a real closeness and love of them.

[1:22:04] And when those movies became super popular, it was like, see, this these are good things.

[1:22:10] This is not like boring nerd stuff or whatever.

[1:22:13] This is.

[1:22:14] And then I saw those movies.

[1:22:15] This is cool, actually.

[1:22:16] Yes.

[1:22:18] It was like one of my only things and it was like karma was going like, really?

[1:22:21] You wasted a lot of your life being super, super obsessed with Marvel.

[1:22:25] Yeah.

[1:22:26] And I feel like the lesson that the I think partly that in my career I was like, oh, I

[1:22:31] want to do more stuff for Marvel.

[1:22:32] Like, I'd love to work with those characters.

[1:22:33] And it's almost like when in sitcoms where someone's like, you smoked a cigarette.

[1:22:38] Now you smoke a whole case of cigarettes.

[1:22:40] It was like the universe was being like, you need to get too much of this so that you have

[1:22:46] to do your own thing.

[1:22:47] You have to do you have to have a desire to do original things.

[1:22:49] And I'm like, OK, I got it.

[1:22:51] Universe.

[1:22:52] All right.

[1:22:53] I won't go.

[1:22:54] I won't I won't spend a lot of my time trying to pitch Spider-Man stories, I guess.

[1:22:57] But but there was part of me that I thought I was like, see, the Marvel universe has done

[1:23:02] it.

[1:23:03] And that was only act two of the story and act three of the story when I was like, oh,

[1:23:06] I guess there's kind of too much Marvel right now.

[1:23:09] Oh, yeah, I understand.

[1:23:12] Elliot says this today on the day of Ant-Man's arrival.

[1:23:15] Oh, that's right.

[1:23:16] I forgot.

[1:23:17] Kang the Conqueror is showing up today.

[1:23:19] I mean, I've got a chair open for Ant-Man.

[1:23:22] I've gone through excitement at the idea of Kang being in a movie to now dreading when

[1:23:26] Kang stops being the character I like from the comics and becomes the character from

[1:23:31] the movies, which could be a good version of Kang.

[1:23:33] I liked him in the Loki show.

[1:23:34] But the same way that Doctor Strange in the comics has now pretty much become the Doctor

[1:23:40] Strange from the movies, which is.

[1:23:42] Oh, yeah.

[1:23:43] And Star-Lord in the comics is the Star-Lord of the movies, not the personality that I've

[1:23:47] come to know from these characters in the preceding.

[1:23:49] And the Dominic Toretto of the comics is the same as the Dominic Toretto of the movies.

[1:23:54] Now, Stuart, here's the amazing thing about Dominic Toretto is he is a movie original

[1:23:58] character that somehow somehow made a movie that wasn't based on a preexisting thing.

[1:24:03] I don't know how it is possible to make a modern myth that is possible.

[1:24:08] Yes.

[1:24:10] That being said, I watched Fast 9 last night.

[1:24:12] I had not seen it.

[1:24:13] I was, you know, at home alone.

[1:24:15] And I'm like, oh, shit.

[1:24:16] And some burglars tried to break in.

[1:24:17] Yeah, they were trying to get the wet bandits out of here.

[1:24:19] It's like, scare them off with the sound of revving engines.

[1:24:22] Yeah.

[1:24:23] Audrey's not here.

[1:24:24] I'll just make the myth that Vin Diesel and his family are in the apartment.

[1:24:28] I turned on some Bob Seger and, you know, danced around in my underwear and I watched

[1:24:33] Fast 9.

[1:24:34] Yeah, sure.

[1:24:35] And, like, it occurred to me, like, if anything feels like comics, it's the Fast and Furious

[1:24:41] movies, the way that they have, like, started out one place and then through, like, a bunch

[1:24:46] of different people being behind it, like, have wildly changed the tone, what they are,

[1:24:53] like, characters, like, start keep accruing, villains turn into heroes.

[1:24:58] I was trying to explain it to Sammy the other day and I was like, he's like, they're like

[1:25:03] spy movies and I'm like, well, they started out as criminals that pull off low-level truck

[1:25:08] heists.

[1:25:09] Street racers.

[1:25:10] Kind of like street racing point break.

[1:25:12] Yeah, but now they're spies, pretty much.

[1:25:15] Yeah, yeah.

[1:25:16] It kind of reminds me of, like, a long-running, like, manga or anime series in that way.

[1:25:22] Yeah, very similar.

[1:25:23] And it has that same, like, balance of, like, very goofy but also very serious and heartfelt.

[1:25:29] But Dan, what you're saying makes a lot of sense because it's like, you look at a character

[1:25:33] like Venom, where they're like, Spider-Man's most bloodthirsty enemy.

[1:25:36] He's so popular.

[1:25:37] He's a hero now.

[1:25:38] Okay.

[1:25:39] And at this point in the Spider-Man comics, he is a, Venom is, Eddie Brock is now the

[1:25:42] king of a universe and time-spanning alien race that he can use to travel anywhere in

[1:25:48] creation instantly and is dealing with the responsibility of that.

[1:25:52] And I reread some old Venom comics recently.

[1:25:53] I thought he was just a reporter.

[1:25:54] He was.

[1:25:55] I reread some old Venom comics recently and I was like, I like these new Venom comics,

[1:25:58] but I was like, I kind of miss the simplicity of, he's a crazy guy who has evil alien pants

[1:26:04] and he wants to kill Spider-Man.

[1:26:06] He's a homicidal weightlifting reporter who has alien pants.

[1:26:10] Yes, and the alien pants share a desire to kill Spider-Man.

[1:26:14] But that's a great way to put it.

[1:26:15] The Fast and Furious movies show that, like, you can create movie original stuff that taps

[1:26:20] into the feeling of comics or the storytelling of comics without just pulling those characters

[1:26:25] directly.

[1:26:27] And now I want to have, I want to see a Fast and Furious comic where they're just superheroes.

[1:26:30] They just wear costumes.

[1:26:31] They out and out do that stuff, you know, and then that gets adapted into a movie.

[1:26:34] Then the comics have to change to accommodate the movie changes.

[1:26:37] Oh, kind of like Hairspray or the upcoming Mean Girls movie.

[1:26:41] Exactly.

[1:26:42] Very much so.

[1:26:43] Are they doing a movie based on the Mean Girls musical?

[1:26:44] Yeah.

[1:26:45] Yeah.

[1:26:46] Yeah.

[1:26:47] Oh, yeah.

[1:26:48] Same thing.

[1:26:49] Yeah.

[1:26:50] With Tim Meadows and Tina Fey reprising their roles, which is kind of amazing.

[1:26:51] Wow.

[1:26:53] Let's go on to the last segment where we recommend movies that you might enjoy watching.

[1:27:01] So I watched a movie.

[1:27:03] Let me preface this by saying...

[1:27:05] It's called Beast.

[1:27:06] Let me preface this by saying I liked Fast 9.

[1:27:09] I really like when movie theaters have series, like a branded series of...

[1:27:18] Siri, the phone app?

[1:27:22] I don't like the movie I'm going to talk about.

[1:27:25] I saw Weird Wednesday at the Alamo.

[1:27:27] But then there's also The Nighthawk.

[1:27:30] Our friend Christina Cacioppo does wonderful programs, wonderful series.

[1:27:35] She had one on 80s or I think 90s, actually, erotic thrillers.

[1:27:41] But this one was a Weird Wednesday.

[1:27:43] I like that just because if it's branded as part of one of these series, sometimes I will see a movie in the theater

[1:27:51] or just at all that I would not have ever seen on my own.

[1:27:55] The fact that it is stamped with this sort of just general category.

[1:28:02] I'm like, oh yeah, I like that series.

[1:28:04] I'll see what this is all about.

[1:28:06] It's creating a context in which you can understand it and enjoy it.

[1:28:11] Or at least pre-understand it.

[1:28:13] Yeah.

[1:28:15] And I went out and I saw Norman Mailer's Tough Guys Don't Dance, which is a bizarre, bizarre movie.

[1:28:22] That was a movie that I...

[1:28:24] So I'll tell you just briefly my experience.

[1:28:26] The first time I almost saw it was when I was a teenager and I was my grandmother.

[1:28:31] I was like 13.

[1:28:32] I went with my grandmother to the Museum of Modern Art.

[1:28:34] And she's like, oh, well, there's this movie playing today.

[1:28:36] We'll go to see this.

[1:28:37] And about eight minutes in, she said, this is not for us and got up and walked out of the theater.

[1:28:43] Yeah, I would understand why one's grandma would react to that.

[1:28:49] It's one of these movies I wouldn't call it good.

[1:28:55] And I would say that you definitely want to watch it with other people to enjoy sort of collective confusion at the film.

[1:29:04] But I wouldn't just say it's like awful.

[1:29:08] There's like stuff in it that genuinely works.

[1:29:12] But it is very strange.

[1:29:13] It is a movie that has like this purple tough guy dialogue that would sound bizarre even coming out of Humphrey Bogart.

[1:29:22] Like it would be a little much in an old movie.

[1:29:25] And instead it is coming out of Ryan O'Neal and a bunch of people wildly overacting in like a movie made in 1987.

[1:29:33] In 1987, a year after Critters changed the way we think about film.

[1:29:36] Exactly.

[1:29:38] It's the year what?

[1:29:39] Seventh Son of a Seventh Son was released.

[1:29:41] I mean what a big year.

[1:29:42] Huge year of culture, yeah.

[1:29:44] There's also – plot-wise there's way more cucking in the movie than you would expect.

[1:29:49] Just a whole lot of cucking.

[1:29:54] Actually I think it was – I'm sorry.

[1:29:56] I think it was Somewhere in Time came out.

[1:29:58] Oh, maybe you're right.

[1:30:00] So I think you're right. I think it was somewhere in time still a huge year for culture great album. Mm-hmm. Anyway, it's a weird

[1:30:06] Crime story. I couldn't begin to explain. It's it's a movie that like I

[1:30:11] Contextualize as say a weird Wednesday like if you were interested in

[1:30:16] strange films in filmic history, this is

[1:30:20] This is a wild one for you

[1:30:23] And I'll leave it there I guess

[1:30:25] But I I really enjoyed myself. It's I left a lot

[1:30:30] It's a wild one. Would you describe it as?

[1:30:33] something wild

[1:30:35] No, I would I would just have the film something wild is something. Okay

[1:30:39] Would you say it's good for indulging your wild side?

[1:30:47] No

[1:30:50] Okay, I'm gonna recommend a movie I don't think we've recommended yet, but I know Jan and I have both watched

[1:30:55] It's a horror movie big surprise, it's a movie called a wounded fawn on shutter

[1:31:01] it's about a

[1:31:03] young woman who is a museum curator and

[1:31:06] decides to get back into the dating pool and

[1:31:10] Starts dating a guy who is right off the bat. You know, he's a bad bad guy

[1:31:16] And it's very much in the vein of like the like girl you in danger like it is very clear. This is a mistake

[1:31:23] She should not be going on a couple's weekend with this guy. She just met who is behaves creepy the whole time

[1:31:30] But it takes it goes in very strange directions and has some really fun like creature effects

[1:31:37] And it's very stylish in a way that felt

[1:31:41] super original and new

[1:31:44] And if you're looking for yeah, if you're looking for that kind of a like a thriller

[1:31:50] Where you don't quite know who we're like the balance of power between the

[1:31:54] The victim and the hunter like continues to like shift back and forth a little bit

[1:32:00] It's yeah, it's great a wounded fawn on shutter

[1:32:04] I am gonna recommend two movies that are science fiction II related II one of them is a

[1:32:10] documentary I recently watched Kurt Vonnegut unstuck in time from 2021, which is a

[1:32:16] Documentary about the life of Kurt Vonnegut and also about makes his relation and his relationship with the director of the movie Robert

[1:32:24] Whitey, I think his name is a weedy

[1:32:25] He also is it was the principal director for curvier enthusiasm for most of its run or at least early on in the first few

[1:32:31] seasons, so, uh, it's he had been making a documentary about Kurt Vonnegut for roughly 40 years and

[1:32:38] so he has footage of him interviewing her Vonnegut over that period of time until Vonnegut's death and

[1:32:43] It was just a really good kind of portrait of Kurt Vonnegut one thing I learned from it

[1:32:46] Kurt Vonnegut was a very important writer to me in high school as he was to many people in high school and

[1:32:51] That he talks a lot the nightmare how funny he is and Kurt Vonnegut thinks he's very funny

[1:32:55] I've never really I love his books, but I've never really found them funny

[1:32:58] and so it's made me want to go back and reread them to see if I just missed a lot of the jokes, but it's

[1:33:02] a very good documentary and

[1:33:05] Does not it does a good job. I think of expressing

[1:33:09] what a

[1:33:10] Special writer he was and also the special relationship he had with certain people while not

[1:33:14] Whitewashing him or making him out to be, you know, just a great guy, you know

[1:33:19] It touches on how he could be a difficult person as well. And the other movie is one that

[1:33:24] Speaking of my experience with Red Rock West earlier in the episode a movie

[1:33:26] I watched when I was too young to really get it and I finally rewatched it again. And that is Darkstar from 1974

[1:33:32] the John Carpenter Dan O'Bannon movie, which

[1:33:35] I remember as a kid watching it and not really getting it and watching it now and being like one

[1:33:41] I think this movie is very funny, but also that it worked

[1:33:44] It's a very funny movie that works as a science fiction

[1:33:46] but it's a parody of science fiction that works as a good science fiction story and

[1:33:49] has a surprisingly kind of touching ending and

[1:33:52] Despite the fact that it is it's one of these movies that I feel like I don't see as many of them now

[1:33:57] Even though it should be easier to make them now where it looks very cheap while still looking way more expensive than it was

[1:34:04] Yeah, you know like it looks like a cheap movie, but at no point are you like, oh, yeah

[1:34:08] Well, that's just a hallway of a building like it you they feel like they're on a cheap

[1:34:12] Spaceship set. Yeah, leave it to spaceship. Yeah the years ago BAM

[1:34:17] here in Brooklyn did a

[1:34:20] did a series of all of John Carpenter movies and also like movies that inspired John Carpenter and

[1:34:26] That was I got to see Darkstar on the big screen, which was great

[1:34:29] Like it was so much fun to see on a big screen in like a packed theater full of people

[1:34:34] Yeah, I think I think they also did a screening of Sorcerer in that that that run and that was great, too

[1:34:40] And I mean to your point of how it looks good, too

[1:34:45] I mean, this is sort of different than what you're saying because it's not as

[1:34:48] Science fiction in a movie, but I do think that there's something to

[1:34:52] older movies like

[1:34:54] digital

[1:34:56] filmmaking has

[1:34:57] Like raised the floor on how movies look but I think they've also lowered the ceiling because like it's less

[1:35:04] Thought has to be put into getting a good image and it can be done

[1:35:07] So quickly that maybe some of the like pre-planning and art of it gets lost

[1:35:13] I mean, maybe I'm just an old man, but I know that I was watching

[1:35:16] possible I was watching a dumb movie for

[1:35:21] The bad movie night that I referenced from time to time the taking of Beverly Hills, which is a movie about a

[1:35:30] Aging footballer who goes with math Matt fewer

[1:35:36] fruer, sorry is a like cop a

[1:35:39] neurotic cop and they but they team up to stop a

[1:35:43] Plot by the police and Robert Davi to take Beverly Hills and steals the sounds Stewart is

[1:35:51] Neighborhood

[1:35:53] Stealing a bunch of shit from Beverly like but my point is like this is like this dumb

[1:35:59] action movie church by

[1:36:01] Sydney J fury a journeyman director if there ever was one who made the Ipcris file and also ladybugs

[1:36:08] But it looks beautiful like compared to what you're saying. He's a he's a one-man refutation

[1:36:15] Yeah, I'm just saying like for for what it is like I'm like wow like movies like even cheap movies used to look good

[1:36:22] Yeah, especially when you got fucking Bobby Dobby and Matt fucking fruer in it. Yeah. Yeah, Max Edron himself. Sure

[1:36:29] Yeah, I think the no, but you're you're right. I mean it is one of those things that you pointed out like

[1:36:35] It's the thing you think about when it comes to lighting like movies feeling darker

[1:36:40] Is that there isn't enough thought being put into I feel like there isn't enough thought being put into lighting or it's because of

[1:36:46] the way that

[1:36:49] Like the way that like digital cameras work, I don't know. I don't know technical shit

[1:36:53] I feel like a lot of times people like well

[1:36:55] We can like do grading after the fact and blah blah blah blah blah and it just I don't know if it looks as good

[1:37:00] This is me just making something up kind of but I wonder if it has maybe something to do with that

[1:37:05] But also something to do with how these movies are expected to be seen that these guys are not expected to be seen for the

[1:37:10] most part in theaters on large screens and as big as someone's television screen is

[1:37:15] It's still a size that hides a little bit more than a than a movie screen does

[1:37:20] I don't know. I could be wrong, but I do think that there is a

[1:37:23] There's this there's a certain amount of thought that often doesn't get put into these movies

[1:37:27] But at the same time there's plenty of older movies pre-digital that were very little thought was put into it

[1:37:32] And

[1:37:33] Something like Dark Star Dark Star is not a standard

[1:37:36] move like you can tell that no you can tell that at the very least that Dan O'Bannon seeing as he wrote it and stars

[1:37:41] In it and edited it like that. He's all in like he's putting a wall to this, you know

[1:37:45] Yeah, and it was an expanded student film. It's like it. It's a whole nother thing

[1:37:49] But it went on to greatly influence alien. We all you know, yeah, we all saw you drops

[1:37:54] He's doing great movie talks about it entirely

[1:37:56] The how Dan O'Bannon, you know and how dune it gets Dan O'Bannon

[1:38:01] You know Bannon and and that uh, do you know bandoon and Dark Star has a whole sequence that involves an alien being?

[1:38:07] you know kind of hunted through a spaceship and it's while it's hunting someone else, but uh

[1:38:11] the

[1:38:13] What's I gonna say? Well

[1:38:15] knows

[1:38:16] We'll never know we may never know something about Dark Star

[1:38:18] Oh for anyone I was gonna say for anyone who hasn't who isn't familiar with it if you're interested in seeing it

[1:38:22] It's essentially it's from the 70s

[1:38:24] it's a very 70s movie and that it is looking at science fiction tropes through the lens of kind of

[1:38:30] Vietnam type experience these are like this is a this is a deep space mission and the guys in it are essentially

[1:38:35] They've grown their hair long and their beards out because they've been on this mission forever

[1:38:39] they're tired of it the glamour and the romance and the

[1:38:42] Heroism of being out in space is gone. And what really struck me about it is that this is 1974

[1:38:47] It's pre-star wars. And so the science fiction trope they're dealing with is still kind of like this Star Trek

[1:38:53] semi-militarized but very American Earth based science fiction and I feel like after Star Wars so much of science fiction comedy became

[1:39:02] Star Wars type stuff or it's a totally alien world and there's some kind of

[1:39:07] Either mysticism to it or there's a lot of aliens or whatever

[1:39:10] So it's kind of interesting to see a snapshot of what science fiction was in people's minds pre Star Wars

[1:39:15] where it was still science fiction was still about humans from Earth going places as opposed to

[1:39:21] Out and out fantasy, you know, so that's but that's but the most important thing is is this guy?

[1:39:25] It's just a funny. It's like a funny expanded student short film

[1:39:29] and yeah, there are sequences that go on for way too long considering the movie is like 83 minutes long, but uh

[1:39:36] But I really liked it a lot

[1:39:37] So that's dark star or if you want to watch a movie about a real person who really existed Kurt Vonnegut unstuck in time

[1:39:43] Well, I got a pee so let's wrap it up quick

[1:39:48] This is this has been

[1:39:51] You're really doing a lot of pulling the curtain back

[1:39:54] Fun network go over to maximum fun org. Check out all the other great podcasts

[1:40:00] While you're on the internet, why not check out what our producer Alex Smith is up to.

[1:40:07] He makes his own podcast and music and all sorts of things under the name HowlDotty.

[1:40:13] But until next time when we will be doing Critters Next, I have been – well, I mean we'll have a mini in between, but the next full episode.

[1:40:23] Cool.

[1:40:24] Anyway.

[1:40:25] Aren't you the one who had to pee, Dan?

[1:40:26] I have been Dan McCloy.

[1:40:29] I've been – you know what? I'm going to just drag this on.

[1:40:32] No! No!

[1:40:33] Once upon a time – no, my name is Stuart Wellington.

[1:40:37] And my grandmother told me of a prophecy.

[1:40:40] Oh, wow.

[1:40:41] A prophecy that I would – new bit – that I would be Elliot Kalin.

[1:40:46] So, Dan, you can go pee.

[1:40:49] Bye.

[1:40:54] Like the Banshees have been to Sharon.

[1:40:56] One of the top picks of the year.

[1:40:58] Remember the great movie that came out last year?

[1:41:00] I haven't seen it.

[1:41:01] Oh, it was great.

[1:41:03] Now what if Tilda Swinton had been in that movie?

[1:41:06] We're playing the what if Tilda Swinton had played characters like if Tilda Swinton had been Tar.

[1:41:13] It would have been slightly different.

[1:41:15] I don't know though.

[1:41:16] It would have been –

[1:41:17] I think it might be saying that we're playing that is –

[1:41:19] Her breakdown would have been crazy.

[1:41:22] Yeah.

[1:41:23] I am going to warn you.

[1:41:25] You are doing the summary and that is a difficult road to walk with two interrupting asswipes.

[1:41:32] That's what we are.

[1:41:34] Yep.

[1:41:35] Maximumfun.org.

[1:41:37] Comedy and culture.

[1:41:38] Artist owned.

[1:41:39] Audience supported.

Episode #390 – Beast

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