FH Mini 75 - Battle of the Streaming Networks

[0:00] Hey, everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

Dan McCoy

[0:07] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:08] And hey, I'm Elliot Kalin. That's right. All three of us back together again as we are every week.

Dan McCoy

[0:15] Yeah, it's not special. There was a time in the history of the podcast where it was special to...

Elliott Kalan

[0:20] I find the time I spend with you very special. I'm sorry that you don't reciprocate that feeling.

[0:24] Yeah, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[0:25] Okay, well...

Stuart Wellington

[0:26] Dan, I invited you to my birthday.

Dan McCoy

[0:29] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[0:30] And here you are throwing the time we spend together in my face.

Dan McCoy

[0:35] I apologize.

[0:36] My beautiful face, Dan.

[0:38] It's meaningful to all.

Elliott Kalan

[0:39] It is a beautiful face. And well, we're throwing better things in.

[0:43] Okay, like...

[0:44] Thank you. Only good things.

Dan McCoy

[0:45] Like what, sardines or...

Stuart Wellington

[0:46] Sardines or, you know, like chicken nuggets.

[0:47] Depending on the price. Yep, chicken nuggies. Yep.

[0:50] Depending on shape and cost.

[0:52] Dinosaur shaped.

[0:53] And whether or not they're Dorito dusted or whatever the fuck you can get your nuggies done.

[0:58] Uh-huh.

[0:59] However the fuck you can get your nuggies done.

[1:01] What's this podcast about? Is this podcast about my face and nuggies?

Elliott Kalan

[1:03] On this podcast, we're talking about different kinds of nuggies that can go in Stuart's face.

Dan McCoy

[1:08] Now, this is a podcast where sort of the main episodes are where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[1:14] And then every other week, we sort of just get together and do random stuff that appeals to one of us in turn.

[1:22] We sort of round robin it often.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24] It fits into the general sensibility of the show, even if not the content pervue.

Dan McCoy

[1:28] Yeah, it tends to hue towards the sort of things that we might talk about in the Flophouse anyway.

[1:35] But so in this episode, I'm in charge.

[1:39] Uh-oh.

[1:40] Here comes trouble.

[1:41] Uh-oh.

[1:43] Don't wake daddy.

[1:46] I'm going to give you a short intro to why I thought of this.

[1:52] So last night, late at night.

Elliott Kalan

[1:54] The podcast or just this episode?

[1:56] What?

[1:57] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:58] It was late at night.

[2:00] We'd come back from a Stuart's Bar hinterlands where we were playing some games with our good friends, John and Mary and some other folks.

Elliott Kalan

[2:09] Who are not as good of friends.

[2:10] They don't deserve to be named.

[2:12] Were they funny games?

Dan McCoy

[2:14] No one got murdered.

[2:18] So I would say they weren't as funny as they could be because we all know that's the most hilarious games.

Elliott Kalan

[2:25] Michael Haneke is just sitting there going, Zeus is our laugh riot.

Dan McCoy

[2:29] Oh my God.

[2:29] There's so many knees that are.

[2:30] Get a load of this.

[2:31] Oh, yummy, yummy.

[2:32] Just wait and see what he does with that golf club.

Elliott Kalan

[2:34] Okay, guys.

[2:35] I've got to...

[2:36] Ish, ish, have another gut buster for all of you.

[2:39] It's called funny games.

[2:40] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[2:41] So we were coming back from hinterlands late at night.

[2:45] I put on...

[2:46] I was watching some random stuff on YouTube.

[2:48] I'm like, dish up something for me, algorithm.

[2:51] And we watched...

Elliott Kalan

[2:52] I love that we were getting a portrait of a man who leads a rich, full life until you got to that part.

[2:57] Yeah, sure.

Dan McCoy

[2:58] Um...

[2:59] Well, I actually mentioned this on Sister Max Fun Show, Maximum Film.

[3:05] I had not watched a lot of YouTube because I think we're of an age where that was not sort of...

[3:11] You know, we're a little too old for that to, like, have been introduced to us as, like, part of our growing up way of consuming media.

[3:19] Yes.

[3:19] And...

[3:20] But I've discovered recently that the thing is, it is the world's greatest repository and museum of the media that I do care about, which is random shit that I remember from my childhood.

[3:33] You know, that was on television or whatnot or forgotten movies or whatever you have.

[3:38] And, uh...

[3:39] So, the algorithm dished me up something from actually before my time.

[3:43] It was Karen Carpenter doing a long, long drum solo on the Carpenter's Variety Show.

[3:50] And we were talking about how weird television used to be.

[3:52] And I asked Audrey whether she had heard of Battle of the Network Stars, which is a thing that was before our time as well.

[3:59] This is something I only know as a...

[4:01] As a reference.

[4:02] Yeah.

[4:03] Yes.

[4:03] Where they would get, you know, the stars from different TV shows who were on the networks at that time, have them compete in, you know, physical challenges, like sports challenges...

[4:15] Athletic contests.

[4:17] Well, athletic contests, but also...

Stuart Wellington

[4:19] I think I learned about it through Mad Magazine and their reoccurring bit, Battle of the Black Jerk Stars.

[4:26] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[4:27] Shame on you, Stuart.

[4:28] Mad Magazine was so much better than that.

Dan McCoy

[4:31] Some of them...

[4:32] I mean, some of them are true...

[4:34] That usual gang of idiots.

[4:38] Some of them are true, you know, athletic competitions, like races.

[4:44] And then some of them are, like, they have a dunk tank, which is clearly just an excuse for Barbara Bach to fall into water.

[4:52] And it's the 70s.

[4:54] And people are like, ooh, the outline of nipples.

[4:56] And everyone's excited.

[4:58] And that's...

[4:59] That was your grandfather's pornography, is what I'm saying.

[5:04] Anyway...

Elliott Kalan

[5:04] I mean, my grandfather was already an old man, or at least a middle-aged man by the time...

Dan McCoy

[5:09] He really liked Barbara Bach.

[5:11] Yeah, that's what it was.

Stuart Wellington

[5:12] My grandfather went over to his buddy's house, where they all put on tuxedos, and my buddy's niece read them a really sexy story, and they all got boners.

[5:22] Is this Handmaiden?

[5:24] Yeah, it's not just the movie Handmaiden.

[5:26] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[5:27] Dan, so...

[5:29] I wanted to mention that the outline of nipples is also one of the Poirot novels, isn't it?

Dan McCoy

[5:35] Yeah.

[5:36] Yeah.

[5:37] The mysterious outline of nipples at Styles.

Stuart Wellington

[5:40] That's what she was reading to those horny dudes.

Dan McCoy

[5:44] So, we watched a little of it before Audrey very quickly was like, yeah, I get the idea.

[5:48] And this is all sort of mostly just a bit of color to explain a largely unrelated concept, Battle of the Streaming Networks.

[5:59] I'm gonna...

[6:00] I've come up with four short games centered around...

[6:05] Physical challenges, I'm guessing.

[6:07] ...centered around the networks of today, the streaming channels.

[6:11] And you guys are going to not so much compete, because I don't think we really care about who gets points and wins on these things.

[6:19] This will be an At Midnight style game where...

[6:21] Oh, great.

[6:22] ...the game is just a loose framework for whatever nonsense.

[6:25] And so, the first of the Battle of the Streaming Networks events is something I call Classic, Classic, or Vlasic.

[6:36] I was hoping Vlasic would be the third word.

[6:39] So, I'm gonna read a list of three names, and you tell me which of these can be found on HBO's Turner Classic Movies Hub,

[6:47] which is a movie that Tubi has put in its modern classic category.

[6:53] Okay.

[6:53] And which of these is a type of Vlasic pickle.

[6:56] Okay.

[6:58] So, the first matchup...

Stuart Wellington

[7:00] I hope you don't say like Broken Arrow, because that could be any of those.

Elliott Kalan

[7:03] Yeah.

[7:04] Those are the pickles that didn't make it through the factory process intact.

[7:08] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[7:09] So, these are the three titles.

[7:11] We have Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

[7:14] We have Thunderbolt and Lightfoot.

[7:17] And we have Bread and Butter Spears.

[7:21] Okay.

[7:21] All classics in their own way, but which is the Turner Classic, which is the Tubi Classic.

Elliott Kalan

[7:26] At the risk of falling for a trap, Stuart, maybe give...

[7:29] Let's take a shot at this.

[7:31] Bread and Butter is the Vlasic pickle.

Dan McCoy

[7:34] Yeah.

[7:34] You are correct.

Elliott Kalan

[7:35] Okay, good.

[7:36] Got that.

[7:37] I would say Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is probably Turner Classic Movies.

[7:40] I know they run it a fair amount on their actual network.

[7:42] And that Thunderbolt and Lightfoot is probably Tubi Modern Classic.

[7:46] But I could see it going either way for those two.

Dan McCoy

[7:48] Well, you're off to a rare and start.

[7:51] You were correct.

[7:52] Three for three on that.

[7:53] So, the team...

Elliott Kalan

[7:53] I mean, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is too old to be considered modern at this point.

[7:56] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[7:56] The team of Wellington and Kalen in this non-competitive game is one for one right now.

Elliott Kalan

[8:03] The future is cooperative games.

[8:05] People love cooperative games.

Stuart Wellington

[8:06] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[8:07] I just don't like the pressure of head-to-head competition anymore.

[8:10] I feel like I get enough of that out of life.

[8:12] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[8:13] Tell me about it.

[8:13] I mean, you shouldn't regard life as a competition.

[8:16] That's probably a problematic way of going through it.

Stuart Wellington

[8:19] I regard life as a competition and all my relationships as like a balance sheet.

[8:24] It's all what they can do for me.

Dan McCoy

[8:26] Stuart, this is a terrible way of going about anything.

[8:30] I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[8:30] You're talking to somebody who can bench press 225 pounds.

[8:33] That's true.

[8:34] So, obviously, he's doing something right.

[8:35] It's all numbers game.

Dan McCoy

[8:36] Well, I think if you believe that life is a competition, then that's the kind of thing

[8:40] that you do.

Elliott Kalan

[8:40] Dan, when you get up to heaven and St. Peter is like, let me look at how many points you

[8:44] accrued in the game of life.

[8:46] Oh, not very many.

[8:47] You were busy helping people instead of being on that grind and working for you.

[8:51] Helping people.

Dan McCoy

[8:52] Well, that's charitable.

[8:54] Is watching whatever trash Tubi serves up to me helping people?

[8:59] Yeah, yeah.

[8:59] Speaking of Tubi, let's get back to the game.

[9:01] Oh, sure, sure.

[9:02] Yeah.

[9:02] We've got three titles here.

[9:04] All right.

[9:05] The first is Fern Gully, The Last Rainforest.

[9:08] Okay.

[9:09] The second title is Kosher Gherkins.

[9:13] And the third, The Four Troublesome Heads.

[9:16] The Four Troublesome Heads.

[9:19] All classics in their own way.

Elliott Kalan

[9:21] Stuart, you want to take this one?

[9:27] No.

[9:29] Okay.

[9:29] Do you want me to take it then?

Stuart Wellington

[9:31] No, no, no, no, no.

[9:33] What's the gherkins?

[9:35] That's Vlasic.

[9:36] Okay.

[9:36] Let's just get that one out of here.

[9:38] That's a Vlasic.

[9:38] Yes, that is a Vlasic.

Elliott Kalan

[9:41] Unless the Kosher Gherkin is some kind of Jewish spy.

Stuart Wellington

[9:47] I'm going to say Fern Gully, The Last Rainforest is a Tubi modern classic.

[9:53] And Four Troublesome Heads is TCM.

Dan McCoy

[9:56] You got it right.

[9:57] You got it right.

[9:58] The Four Troublesome Heads.

[9:59] People may not recognize it.

[10:00] It's one of Melies' movies.

[10:02] They have a lot of Melies short films on the TCM hub.

Stuart Wellington

[10:06] Yeah.

[10:06] It was that work he did for Full Moon Entertainment.

Dan McCoy

[10:10] All right.

[10:11] So another matchup.

[10:16] We've got I Married a Witch.

[10:19] We have Original Dill Holes.

[10:24] That's a Pornhub title, isn't it?

[10:27] And lastly, Cockfighter.

[10:30] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[10:30] So I'll take this one.

[10:32] So the Dill one is Vlasic.

[10:34] Cockfighter would be a modern classic.

[10:36] I didn't know that was on Tubi.

[10:37] I'd actually like to see that.

[10:38] It is on Tubi, yeah.

[10:39] And I Married a Witch is from the 40s.

[10:41] So that's Turner Classic Movies.

Dan McCoy

[10:42] It's on Turner Classic Movies.

[10:44] I will say Holes is spelled with a W.

[10:48] That's indicating a hole pickle rather than a spear.

[10:51] Not what I was hoping for.

[10:53] Yeah, yeah.

[10:53] I tried to watch I Married a Witch on my flight down to Key West.

[10:58] I had downloaded it to my phone.

[11:01] Not a lot of jokes in that comedy.

Elliott Kalan

[11:03] No, it's more of a kind of a delightful movie than a funny movie.

[11:08] Like it's got a very like – it's got a certain charm to it.

[11:11] But I agree.

[11:11] It's not a hilarious comedy.

Dan McCoy

[11:13] Yeah.

[11:13] I was looking forward to like, you know, good old-fashioned Hollywood comedy and it let me down a little.

Elliott Kalan

[11:18] Well, it's the same way that like a lot of things that get categorized as comedy now are not hilarious.

[11:25] It's just that they're kind of like pleasant.

[11:26] Like what, Tar?

Dan McCoy

[11:27] They end happily.

Elliott Kalan

[11:28] Yeah.

[11:29] Like Tar, exactly.

[11:30] Which ends happily.

[11:31] Or achieving everyone's dream of conducting the score of a video game for an audience of cosplayers.

Stuart Wellington

[11:37] That movie's fucking funny, though.

Dan McCoy

[11:39] It is funny.

[11:41] Now we've got another matchup.

[11:42] First up, we have Zesty Dill Stackers.

[11:47] Then, Mannequin.

[11:50] And lastly, Short Circuit.

[11:52] I'm just amazed that we've still done so many of these.

Elliott Kalan

[11:55] This is a toughie.

[11:56] It is a toughie.

[11:58] Zesty Dill Stackers, Mannequin, and Short Circuit.

[12:01] You want to give it a go, Stu?

[12:03] Or do you want me to, do you want to take this one?

Stuart Wellington

[12:05] Okay.

[12:06] So, I think Short Circuit is a Vlasic.

[12:11] Oh.

[12:14] All right.

[12:15] Interesting.

[12:16] Mannequin is a to-be-modern classic.

[12:19] And what was my third option?

Dan McCoy

[12:22] Short Circuit.

Stuart Wellington

[12:24] Nope.

[12:25] I already said that was a Vlasic.

Dan McCoy

[12:28] Zesty Dill Stackers.

Stuart Wellington

[12:30] Sorry.

[12:30] Yep.

[12:31] That sounds like a TCM for me.

Elliott Kalan

[12:33] You know what?

[12:34] Stu, in the interest of keeping Team Unity together, I'm going to back you up on this one,

[12:39] despite possible reservations I may have.

Dan McCoy

[12:41] I think those were all three wrong.

[12:44] I think that it was three for three wrong.

Elliott Kalan

[12:47] In a way, that's harder than getting them all right.

[12:50] He shot the moon.

[12:51] We get extra points.

Dan McCoy

[12:52] Of course, the Vlasic is the Dill Stackers.

[12:55] Of course, he says.

[12:56] Like, that's obvious.

[12:58] Mannequin was on Turner Classic Movies.

[13:01] Oddly, I would argue the worst of these options.

Elliott Kalan

[13:06] Turner Classic Movies doesn't always show good movies.

[13:08] That's one of the things I kind of like about it.

Dan McCoy

[13:10] Short Circuit 2B.

[13:11] Okay.

[13:13] And now, last in this classic, classic or Vlasic category, we've got She's Having a Baby, Hercules in New York, and Xtreme Heat Chips.

[13:27] That's, of course, Xtreme with no E, just an X.

[13:30] Just a big X.

Elliott Kalan

[13:31] That could be a modern classic, but I'm going to guess it's a Vlasic.

Dan McCoy

[13:34] Yeah.

[13:35] That's a Vlasic.

Elliott Kalan

[13:36] She's Having a Baby in Hercules in New York.

[13:38] That's tough.

[13:39] You know, I'm going to say, Stuart, let me know if you agree.

[13:42] I'm going to say, She's Having a Baby, Tubi, modern classic.

[13:45] Hercules in New York, Turner Classic Movies classic.

[13:48] Yeah.

[13:48] I'll back you.

Dan McCoy

[13:50] I'm sorry.

[13:50] It was the reverse.

[13:51] Hercules.

[13:51] Oh, no.

[13:53] It's on Tubi, and She's Having a Baby on Turner Classic Movies.

[13:56] I think that overall, though, you still got more than you missed, so let's count that.

Stuart Wellington

[14:01] And that's considering Stu throwing the match to a certain extent.

Dan McCoy

[14:04] Yeah, exactly.

Stuart Wellington

[14:05] Okay.

[14:06] Sometimes, you know, sometimes you just got to make life a little bit more challenging for

[14:09] yourself.

[14:10] Like, it's like how sometimes I add additional weight to the bar that I'm lifting to just

[14:14] challenge my body.

[14:16] Mm-hmm.

[14:17] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[14:18] Well, next up, we got something I'm calling Turner Classic Hoovies.

[14:23] We're going to stay in the Turner Classic.

[14:25] Okay, this is about the Hoover vacuum cleaners in your favorite movies.

[14:28] I would say that the Hoo actually is a bit of a stretch in terms of a title.

[14:32] It's more of a what.

Elliott Kalan

[14:35] I love how much of this episode is you're like, here's a story about Battle of the Network

[14:39] Stars.

[14:39] Anyway, it's not that important.

[14:41] I'm just using the name.

[14:42] Here's this game.

[14:43] By the way, the name doesn't really tell you much about the game.

Dan McCoy

[14:46] You know, sometimes the journey is more rewarding.

[14:50] No, you're right.

[14:51] Yeah, of course.

[14:52] It's like Lord of the Rings, baby.

[14:53] So, I've picked some of the most intriguing sounding titles from the TCM app.

[14:59] We're moving into the actual TCM app, not the hub on Macs.

[15:03] Okay.

[15:03] So, the app is more centered on older films.

Elliott Kalan

[15:06] Yes, and those movies change.

[15:08] It's not always the same movies.

[15:09] They're on for limited amounts of time.

Dan McCoy

[15:11] And Elliot has to tell us whether he's seen these movies or not.

[15:15] If he has seen them, Stuart has to guess what the movie is about.

[15:18] And Elliot gets to tell us how close Stuart got.

[15:21] Oh, okay.

[15:23] If you haven't, I'll just tell you what the movie is.

[15:25] Okay.

[15:26] So, first up, we have a movie.

[15:27] It's called Madam Satan.

[15:30] Have you seen this movie, Elliot?

Elliott Kalan

[15:31] I've heard of Madam Satan, but I've not seen it.

Dan McCoy

[15:33] No.

[15:33] Okay.

[15:34] Do you know what it's about?

[15:36] No, I don't.

[15:37] Okay.

[15:38] All right, Stuart, do you want to guess anyway?

Stuart Wellington

[15:40] Yeah, sure.

[15:41] So, I'm going to guess that it is about a brothel proprietress who opens up a portal to hell and Satan shows up and then they get married.

Dan McCoy

[15:52] That sounds great.

[15:53] I would totally watch that movie.

[15:55] This is a musical.

[15:57] A socialite.

[15:58] Could still be that plot.

[15:59] Yep.

[15:59] Yeah.

[16:00] Fingers are crossed.

[16:01] A socialite masquerades as a notorious femme fatale to win back her straying husband, directed by Cecil B. DeMille.

[16:11] So, I'm curious about Madam Satan.

[16:12] That sounds interesting.

Elliott Kalan

[16:13] So, it's the same plot as the song, Your Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad.

Dan McCoy

[16:16] Mm-hmm.

[16:17] I suppose so.

[16:18] I don't know, but I will take your word for it.

[16:20] The next movie title is Man Proof.

[16:26] Elliot, have you seen Man-Proof?

[16:29] I also haven't seen Man-Proof.

[16:31] Elliot, would you like to make a guess about what Man-Proof is about?

Elliott Kalan

[16:34] My guess is that a guy falls into a big open vat at a distillery and his soul goes into the whiskey.

[16:42] And now he can control the bodies of the people who drink it.

[16:45] But two for hilarious misadventures.

[16:48] It's like an episodic anthology movie.

Dan McCoy

[16:50] No, I'm afraid this is a movie that the synopsis given is,

[16:54] A woman refuses to give up on the man she loves even after he marries someone else.

[16:59] And stars Myrna Loy, one of your favorites.

[17:02] Yeah, she's one of my favorites.

[17:03] She, she, this, what year is it from?

[17:04] Does it say?

[17:06] I did these in vague chronological order other than the next one, which I think is the latest one.

[17:12] So it's an early one.

[17:15] That's all I need.

Elliott Kalan

[17:15] Okay, because it sounds like more her, she was, you know, because she was more of a, more, she was more of a bad girl for the early, she got a lot of those roles early on before she became America's favorite wife.

[17:25] Hollywood, the Hollywood, Queen of Hollywood, Hollywood's favorite wife later on.

[17:29] Okay, so.

[17:29] She's one of my favorites.

[17:30] She's great.

[17:31] She's, there's a statue of her on the grounds of her old high school.

[17:34] And it was not like put up in her honor because she was famous.

[17:37] It was just, they were making a statue and she posed for it.

[17:40] And when she was a teenager and she's like, I don't, it's, it's, and it's a fairly, I don't know if I would say like sexualized, but like it's one of these kind of neoclassical type statues where it's a woman, you know, she represents the spirit of something and she's in kind of like a diaphanous gown, I think.

[17:55] And I just think it's very weird that like your classmates are walking around and there's a statue of you like looking sexy, basically on the grounds of the school.

[18:03] Yeah.

[18:03] It's a strange, it's a strange thing to have happen.

Dan McCoy

[18:07] Well, you know.

[18:08] Didn't happen in my high school.

[18:10] This is the rich history of Hollywood.

[18:11] They were missing out, Stu.

[18:12] Their loss.

[18:12] Yeah.

[18:13] Yeah.

[18:13] These are the sort of tales we get when I introduce classic Hollywood into the Flophouse.

[18:19] Although I'm surprised that Elliot hasn't seen any of these movies yet.

[18:23] There's a lot of movies.

[18:24] You mentioned two movies.

[18:25] There's thousands of movies out there.

[18:27] This one is, this one is later.

[18:30] This is, I think, the chronologically latest movie I'm going to mention.

[18:34] This is called The Yellow Rolls Royce.

[18:38] Oh, yeah.

[18:38] I know The Yellow Rolls Royce.

[18:39] This one.

[18:39] Yeah.

[18:41] Stuart, would you like to guess and see whether.

[18:43] I got it.

Stuart Wellington

[18:44] So, a little kid is scared when an alien lands in his backyard and that alien transforms into a car so it can pass undetected by human society.

[18:57] So, they can make contact so they can, you know, I don't know, get some energon cubes to send back to the home planet of the Transmorphers.

[19:10] So, that and the only thing it can transform into is what, a yellow Cadillac?

Elliott Kalan

[19:16] Yep.

[19:16] It's a yellow Cadillac.

[19:17] Even though it's called The Yellow Rolls Royce, it's, you know, that's how they throw you off.

Stuart Wellington

[19:21] Yeah, it's a trick.

[19:22] That's the thing.

[19:23] It's, the whole movie's a trick.

Elliott Kalan

[19:25] Yeah.

[19:25] Exactly.

[19:26] Exactly.

[19:26] How close did he get, Elliot?

[19:27] That's the question.

Stuart Wellington

[19:28] How close did I get?

[19:29] Is the whole movie a trick?

Elliott Kalan

[19:31] I mean, in a way, the whole movie is a trick because it's not, it's a, I mentioned anthology movies before.

[19:36] This is an anthology movie.

[19:38] It's three different stories that all are different owners of the same yellow Rolls Royce.

[19:42] And this is something that, like, in the 60s, this is a movie from the 60s, in the 60s, there was a fair number of those.

[19:49] It was a way of, like, relatively cheaply making some of these movies because you didn't need the cast as long.

[19:55] Because you do have them in separate stories.

[19:56] And it's something I think that came over from Europe, I want to believe.

[19:59] In Europe, and especially in Italy, there was, like, a fair number of anthology movies.

[20:03] And in the Czech New Wave, there were some anthology, there was at least one very important anthology movie.

[20:09] So, this is one, yeah.

[20:10] It's like, this yellow Rolls Royce passes through the different hands and each one is a different kind of story.

[20:15] And they're all pretty boring.

Stuart Wellington

[20:16] And is it, is the idea that they're like, do they try and disguise the fact that it's, like, multiple stories around this one thing?

[20:23] Like.

Elliott Kalan

[20:24] No, no, no.

[20:24] Not at all.

[20:25] It's very open.

[20:26] It's like, here's one story.

[20:27] Now we're on to the next story.

[20:28] Now, it's not like a Gary Marshall type movie where it's essentially a bunch of different stories that are just kind of slammed into one holiday.

[20:36] You know, it's, they're very much like chapter one, these people.

[20:40] Chapter two, these people.

[20:41] And chapter three, these people.

[20:43] Hope you enjoyed our film, The Yellow Rolls Royce.

[20:46] Goodbye.

[20:47] I mean, that's not how they say it, but.

Stuart Wellington

[20:49] I just watched, I just watched Runaway Bride for the first time last night, which is a Gary Marshall movie.

[20:54] And it's just filled with people acting like fucking maniacs.

[20:59] I do.

[21:00] I know they're trying to recapture the excitement of Pretty Woman.

[21:04] You got Richard Gere.

[21:05] You got Julia Roberts.

[21:06] You got Hector Elizondo.

[21:09] Yeah.

[21:10] And like.

Dan McCoy

[21:11] Gary Marshall's lucky charm.

Stuart Wellington

[21:13] But man, this, it was kind of a, kind of a whiff, even though it does have a young Chris Maloney and Joan Cusack, who gets to kind of be the pretty best friend.

[21:22] She's so great.

[21:23] Even though, really, Adam's Family Values is the only movie where Hollywood's like, oh, wait a minute, Joan Cusack can be the hottest woman ever to live.

[21:30] Let's put her in this movie.

Elliott Kalan

[21:32] She's so funny.

[21:34] When I was young, I had such a crush on Christina Ricci as Wednesday because I was the same age as her.

[21:38] And then in Answering Values, I was like, I am transferring to Joan Cusack.

[21:42] She is sexier and more evil than you.

[21:46] Way meaner.

[21:47] Way meaner.

[21:48] She's so openly mean to everybody.

Dan McCoy

[21:53] Speaking of mean, we got a mean bunch in this next title, it sounds like.

[22:00] Oh, it's called The Mean Bunch.

[22:01] This title is called Rough Riders Roundup.

[22:05] Are you familiar with Rough Riders Roundup?

[22:09] No, I'm not.

Elliott Kalan

[22:09] That could be two different things.

Dan McCoy

[22:12] Ellie, you want to give it a shot?

[22:12] I mean, it could be three different things.

Elliott Kalan

[22:13] If Pornhub is in the mix, that could be three different things.

Dan McCoy

[22:17] Ellie, why don't you give a shot of guessing what Rough Riders Roundup might be?

Elliott Kalan

[22:22] I mean, I'm guessing it's probably a Western, but it could also be a historical film because

[22:27] Teddy Roosevelt's men were called the Rough Riders in the Spanish Civil War.

[22:30] In the Spanish-American War.

[22:34] But Teddy Roosevelt didn't fight in the Spanish Civil War.

[22:36] He was dead by then.

[22:37] But I'm guessing it's probably a Western.

[22:40] Anything with Roundup in the title is usually a Western.

[22:42] It is a Western.

Dan McCoy

[22:43] I'm not necessarily that surprised you haven't watched this because this is a Roy Rogers Western.

[22:48] You don't strike me as a cowboy series.

[22:51] The fast food proprietor?

Elliott Kalan

[22:52] Yeah.

[22:52] I mean, I grew up loving his fast food restaurant.

[22:55] There was Roy Rogers in my town.

[22:56] Went there regularly before I discovered Popeye's, which has better chicken than Roy Rogers.

[23:00] But yeah, I'm not a-

[23:01] Because you lived at the Edison, New Jersey rest stop.

[23:04] I did.

[23:05] Yeah.

[23:05] I was like Leonardo DiCaprio on Growing Pains.

[23:08] I lived in a broom closet.

[23:09] Nobody knew I was there.

[23:11] As much as I love Westerns, as problematic a genre as they are, and I'm fully aware of that,

[23:16] the singing cowboy Westerns, the Roy Rogers and the Gene Autrys, the kind of lighter series Westerns I never got into.

[23:23] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[23:23] Well, speaking of series, light series, here's a title for you.

[23:28] Okay.

[23:28] The Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters.

[23:31] Have you seen that one?

[23:32] The Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters.

Elliott Kalan

[23:34] No, that's not one of the Bowery Boys ones that I've seen.

[23:36] I've seen, I mean, it sounds like Bela Lugosi Meets the Brooklyn Gorilla, which is kind of like a, it's a knockoff Martin and Lewis movie that Bela Lugosi's in.

[23:43] But I haven't seen the Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters.

Dan McCoy

[23:45] Yeah, the Bowery Boys, they're just, they live on the Bowery.

[23:48] That's their thing.

[23:49] Well, here's the thing about the Bowery Boys.

Elliott Kalan

[23:51] They, they're an outgrowth of the Dead End kids.

[23:54] Now, Dead End, if you've never seen it, is a great movie about the ideas that a high rise, a luxury high rise has been built next to a bunch of slums.

[24:05] And the people are interacting and there's a couple different stories.

[24:07] That one where it's not an anthology film, but there are different storylines of different characters.

[24:10] And that's based on a play.

[24:12] And it, and a bunch of the kid characters in it, they were like, hey, we love these kid characters.

[24:18] We're going to spin them off and put them in more movies.

[24:20] And I'm trying to remember if they're the same kids who are in like Angels with Dirty Faces, the James Cagney movie, where he's a gangster who become, who he and his old friend who's a priest are kind of like competing to see who can be the influence on this gang of street tough kids.

[24:35] But it was like.

[24:36] Is that the movie from Home Alone?

[24:37] That, the one from Home Alone is called Angels with Dirty Souls.

[24:40] And the title is very much a takeoff.

[24:41] And that, it's also a fake gangster movie, but the real one is Angels with Dirty, and Angels with Dirty Faces is a great movie too.

Stuart Wellington

[24:46] I mean, it looks like a real movie.

[24:47] Kevin McAllister is always watching it.

Elliott Kalan

[24:49] She is always watching it.

[24:50] Somewhere online, there's an oral history of the shooting of the Angels with Dirty Souls segment that's in, because they, it was at a time when.

[24:58] It's probably on Dan's beloved YouTube.

[25:00] Yeah.

[25:01] There was a, that movie, Home Alone is old enough now that like, that was at a time when you could still get some of the like older kind of like style.

[25:09] Like, I think they used some of the old equipment when they were shooting that.

[25:12] Like, so it really does, they do a great job of replicating that look.

[25:15] But anyway, the, those, I think it was the Deadhead Kids, some of them like Leo Gorsi and like Hunts Hall.

[25:20] Like, they essentially had their own series where they became the Bowery Boys, Boys Who Lived on the Bowery.

[25:25] And now, we know the Bowery these days as a very trendy, very expensive neighborhood in Manhattan where there's a lot of like boutique hotels.

[25:32] But the Bowery for most of the 20th century was one of the shittiest shitholes in New York.

[25:38] It's like, and if you ever see the movie On the Bowery, it's just about being a guy who has no home and is, has an alcohol problem and drifts onto the Bowery and lives on the mission there, which is still there.

[25:50] But like, the Bowery was shorthand for poor people with problems.

[25:55] You know, it's a place you don't want to be.

[25:56] So the Bowery Boys were like a wisecracking, like lighthearted group of kids who lived in poverty.

[26:02] And eventually, they were doing all sorts of stuff like meeting monsters.

[26:04] So is Bill Lugosi the monster in this or is that a different?

[26:07] I don't.

[26:08] Because I think the Bowery Boys do meet him, do meet Dracula at some point.

Dan McCoy

[26:12] But I could be wrong with that.

[26:12] Yeah, I don't think he's in this.

[26:14] But here's the funny thing about the Bowery Boys meet the monsters.

[26:16] Now, the title is, it suggests that they meet monsters in it.

[26:19] And I haven't seen it.

[26:20] So perhaps they do meet monsters.

Stuart Wellington

[26:22] I mean, if they meet people, people are the craziest monster, you know?

[26:26] But the description.

Dan McCoy

[26:28] Man, it's the most dangerous monster.

[26:29] Yeah.

[26:30] Bowery Boys meet the monsters.

[26:31] The description on the Turner Class Movies app is,

[26:35] the Bowery Boys battle a family of mad scientists.

[26:38] And the picture is one of the Bowery Boys, like, maybe dancing or struggling,

[26:44] I don't know which, with a big robot.

[26:47] So there's a very loose definition of what constitutes monster in this,

[26:53] if they're counting mad scientists and robots also as monsters.

Elliott Kalan

[26:56] I mean, they have monstrous motives, I guess.

Dan McCoy

[26:59] I mean, they're monsters.

[27:00] And certainly in the way that a human can be described as a monster, maybe that.

Elliott Kalan

[27:05] Oh, so this is also, this is the Bowery, so I'm looking up some information now because

[27:08] I'm curious about it.

[27:09] This is the one, this movie is from 1954.

[27:12] So this is like, this is when the Bowery Boys were not even boys anymore.

[27:16] They were grown men who were still called the Bowery Boys.

[27:18] We're having adventures and stuff like that.

[27:20] And I'm trying to remember, I don't think it's this one, but there's an old episode of David Letterman's NBC show,

[27:27] where at the very end, they brought out a guy who had memorized every line of dialogue in,

[27:33] it might have been this one, but it was some Bowery Boys movie that involved a monster of some kind.

[27:38] And he just, and he goes, and now as we go out, this, and he just, but he doesn't describe the movie at all.

[27:44] He just stands there and recites the lines.

[27:45] It's like, hey, you guys heard about this new place?

[27:48] They're feeding boys for free.

[27:49] Yeah, let's go show up.

[27:51] Boy, this is some great spread.

[27:53] This is fantastic.

[27:53] I'm glad you boys are enjoying it.

[27:55] Like it's, and then the episode fades out.

[27:58] That's the end of the episode.

[27:59] And somebody, please, listener, send me a link to it because I'd love to watch it again.

[28:03] Oh, wow.

Dan McCoy

[28:04] I mean, early Letterman was so great.

[28:06] If only I dedicated my life to that.

Elliott Kalan

[28:09] To memorizing all the dialogue in a movie nobody else has seen or thought about.

[28:13] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[28:14] So we've got one more in this event before we take our ad break.

[28:21] And that is this title.

[28:23] Elliot, have you seen, do you know, a girl, a guy, and a gob?

[28:28] A gob?

[28:30] A gob.

[28:31] G-O-B.

Elliott Kalan

[28:31] No, but is that like a Joey Brown movie or something like that?

[28:35] Like?

Dan McCoy

[28:36] Uh, if it is, he is past the first to build.

[28:40] Okay, then it would have been.

Elliott Kalan

[28:42] Because it sounds like one of those movies where it's just like a comedian who's under contract

[28:46] and they're making a ton of movies.

Dan McCoy

[28:48] We've spent a lot of time on this one, so I'm just going to tell you what it is.

[28:52] It's a stuffy boss tries to steal his secretary.

[28:55] Always a stuffy boss.

[28:56] Tries to steal his secretary from her sailor boyfriend starring George Murphy as Claudius J.

[29:02] Quote, coffee cup, cup, and Lucille Ball as Dot Duncan.

[29:07] So there you go.

[29:09] Okay.

[29:09] Sounds pretty good.

Elliott Kalan

[29:10] That intrigues you.

[29:12] His last name is Cup and his nickname is Coffee Cup?

Dan McCoy

[29:17] Okay.

[29:17] If you can imagine such a thing, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[29:20] I can't.

[29:21] I can't.

Dan McCoy

[29:23] But now we need to take a break from Battle of the Streaming Networks.

[29:27] For this word from HelloFresh, why not skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh

[29:32] to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable?

[29:35] That's why it's America's number one meal kit.

[29:39] No matter your lifestyle or meal preferences, HelloFresh has the recipe sure to please everyone

[29:44] at your table.

[29:45] From fit and wholesome to veggie or family friendly, you'll always find something even

[29:51] the pickiest eaters will enjoy.

[29:53] You can customize select meals by swapping proteins or sides or even adding protein to

[29:58] a veggie dish.

[30:00] Imagine that.

[30:01] Switching it around.

[30:02] It's not a vegetarian dish anymore.

[30:04] You put a protein in there, mister or missus, or neither.

[30:08] And now you can even upgrade for organic chicken or organic ground beef.

[30:15] Well, how's HelloFresh every time?

[30:18] Look, I like cooking.

[30:20] A lot of people who are like big meal kit fans do it because they don't care for it.

[30:25] I like cooking, but the meal kits from HelloFresh are really great because honestly, sometimes

[30:31] I just don't have the stuff in my house that I need to make a full good meal.

[30:37] And it's nice to know that like this comes all packaged together.

[30:41] You got it.

[30:42] It's very fresh ingredients.

[30:43] I have had in general the low calorie options and they've all been delicious despite being

[30:49] low calorie, which is the constant struggle.

[30:52] So go to HelloFresh.com slash flop 65 and use code flop 65 for 65% off plus free shipping.

[31:02] That's HelloFresh.com slash flop 65 and code 65 for 65% off plus free shipping.

[31:13] Okay.

[31:13] And now back.

Stuart Wellington

[31:14] I thought it was a tie-in with, Flop 65 was a tie-in with the movie 65 that takes place

[31:20] 65 billion years ago.

Dan McCoy

[31:22] Is that what it's called?

[31:23] 65?

Stuart Wellington

[31:24] Yeah.

[31:25] That movie with Adam Driver where he shoots dinos.

[31:27] Oh, the new one that's coming out.

Dan McCoy

[31:28] Yeah.

[31:29] Yeah.

[31:29] I didn't know that it was called 65.

[31:30] No, not the old one where he shoots.

[31:31] Yeah.

[31:32] It's called 65.

[31:33] I'm checking your work on this.

[31:35] Oh, there it is.

[31:36] 65.

[31:36] Yes.

[31:37] Yeah.

[31:38] What a terrible name for a movie.

Elliott Kalan

[31:40] You know that someone in marketing, someone at some point was like, we'll call it 65.

[31:45] We'll play off the Beatles song.

[31:46] And it took them until the posters were printed and the movie was finished for them to be like, well,

[31:49] that song is called When I'm 64.

Dan McCoy

[31:51] Not When I'm 65.

Elliott Kalan

[31:52] And they were like, oh, no.

[31:54] Oh, no.

Dan McCoy

[31:55] I mean, the thing is like, just call it Adam Scott shoots dinos.

[32:00] The trailer.

[32:00] Adam Driver.

[32:01] If it was Adam Scott, that would also be interesting.

[32:03] Adam Driver.

[32:04] Yeah.

[32:04] Why not team up Adam Driver and Adam Scott and have them shoot dinos and call it Adams

[32:13] shoot everything.

[32:17] Parentheses, mostly dinos.

Stuart Wellington

[32:20] And in that movie, Adam Driver plays John Adams and Adam Scott plays John Quincy Adams.

Elliott Kalan

[32:26] Oh, yeah.

[32:27] Yeah.

[32:27] So it's a father-son bonding hunting trip through time.

[32:30] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[32:31] Where they, you know, when the presidents discover the planet Earth in dinos.

Dan McCoy

[32:36] Two Johns.

Stuart Wellington

[32:36] I just fucking crushed it.

[32:37] Two Adams.

[32:39] Yeah.

[32:39] The movie's going to come out.

[32:40] People are going to be blessed.

Dan McCoy

[32:41] Five million years ago.

[32:44] Dinosaurs.

Elliott Kalan

[32:44] The movie will never live up to my hopes now.

[32:46] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[32:47] And I had such high hopes for it.

[32:49] Yeah.

[32:50] That's me being catty.

Elliott Kalan

[32:51] Movie that you kind of learned about just now.

[32:53] I mean, it's a movie that I learned about the other day when I went to the movie theater

[32:57] and I saw the poster for it.

[32:58] And I otherwise didn't know it existed.

[33:00] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[33:00] Because you went to, what, a retrospective old-timey black and white shit?

[33:04] Oh, I wish.

[33:05] It was a rainy day.

Elliott Kalan

[33:06] We went to the movies.

[33:07] In London town.

[33:08] Had you low.

[33:10] The only kids movie that was appropriate to both my kids was Marcel the Shell with shoes

[33:13] on, which is a very sweet, cute little movie.

[33:16] It's kind of, both kids found it a little boring at times, but I enjoyed it.

[33:21] They really wanted to see the new Puss in Boots movie, but I think that it might be a little

[33:25] too mature for my youngest.

Stuart Wellington

[33:27] That's something that a cool Uncle Stuart would have taken them to.

Elliott Kalan

[33:31] Don't tell your parents.

[33:32] I'm taking you to the Puss in Boots movie.

S4

[33:38] If you have trouble falling asleep, try sleeping with celebrities.

Dan McCoy

[33:45] Tell me about your view of succulents.

[33:48] I'm not a huge fan.

S4

[33:50] It's a different kind of sleep podcast.

[33:52] There are some real benefits to parking illegally.

[33:56] Featuring remarkable guests and unremarkable topics.

Jesse Thorn

[34:00] There's two Orlando airports.

S4

[34:03] From the creator of Depression Mode with John Moe, it's sleeping with celebrities.

[34:09] Every week on Maximum Fun.

[34:12] Nighty-night sleepyheads.

Jesse Thorn

[34:15] Hi, I'm Jesse Thorne, the founder of Maximum Fun, and I have a special announcement.

[34:20] I'm no longer embarrassed by my brother, my brother, and me.

[34:24] You know, for years, each new episode of this supposed advice show was a fresh insult.

[34:31] A depraved jumble of erection jokes, ghost humor, and frankly, this is for the best, very

[34:37] little actionable advice.

[34:40] But now, as they enter their twilight years, I'm as surprised as anyone to admit that it's

[34:46] gotten kind of good.

[34:47] Justin, Travis, and Griffin's witticisms are more refined, like a humor column in a fancy

[34:53] magazine.

[34:54] And they hardly ever say bazinga anymore.

[34:57] So, after you've completely finished listening to every single one of all of our other shows,

[35:03] why not join the McElroy Brothers every week for My Brother, My Brother, and Me.

Dan McCoy

[35:09] Hey, let's get back to the game.

[35:12] This is all very charming, but I just, look, I put some work into this this morning.

Stuart Wellington

[35:19] Yeah, yeah, somebody's going to be telling anecdotes about watching stuff.

[35:22] Yeah, well, notice I didn't say a lot.

Dan McCoy

[35:24] Notice, Elliot, I didn't say a lot of work.

[35:26] I just said I put some work into it.

Elliott Kalan

[35:29] You totally missed Stu's epic roast of you just now, Dan, but that's okay.

Dan McCoy

[35:34] That's fine.

[35:34] I'll hear it when I listen to the episode.

[35:36] This event's called Batman Bullshit, and it goes like this.

Elliott Kalan

[35:41] And what is that clever title based off of?

Dan McCoy

[35:43] Well, there's a lot of Batman bullshit out there, and thanks to HBO Max's DC Hub, you

[35:50] have access to all of it.

[35:52] So, I'm going to read three Batman animated film titles to you, and you guys have to guess

[35:59] which is the real one.

[36:01] Two of these are fake.

Stuart Wellington

[36:03] One is real.

[36:03] I have a question.

[36:04] When you say real one, do you mean R-E-E-L or R-E-A-L?

[36:09] I mean both.

[36:10] Good question.

[36:10] Very good question.

[36:11] Okay, both.

Dan McCoy

[36:12] Okay.

[36:12] Yeah.

[36:13] Okay.

[36:13] So, here are three titles.

[36:16] Only one is real.

[36:18] Batman Mystery of the Batwoman.

[36:21] Batman Crime Crusher.

[36:23] Or Batman from the mixed up files of Mrs. Batman E. Frankenbattler.

Elliott Kalan

[36:28] I think we can safely exclude that last one.

[36:33] Okay.

[36:33] Partly because I don't want to have to say it again, but also because it's clearly a joke.

[36:38] I mean, Stu, I saw your face light up when he said Crime Crusher.

[36:41] That's kind of the one I want to say too.

[36:42] I love that name.

[36:42] I want to think so, too.

[36:43] Yeah.

[36:44] So, I think let's just go for it.

[36:45] Only one of these is real.

Stuart Wellington

[36:46] Only one of them is real.

Elliott Kalan

[36:48] R-E-E-L.

[36:49] Yeah.

[36:49] And, yeah.

[36:50] Returning to Stuart's commonly asked questions on this podcast.

[36:53] What is real?

Stuart Wellington

[36:54] Yeah.

[36:55] Is this real?

[36:57] Yeah.

[36:58] So, I'm going to say Mystery of the Batwoman.

Dan McCoy

[37:03] Yes.

[37:04] Crime Crusher, of course, too beautiful for this world.

[37:06] That was also just some nonsense.

[37:07] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[37:07] It was one of those things where it's like, I don't think it's real, but I love it so much

[37:10] that I want it to be real.

[37:11] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[37:13] So, here are a few more titles of some Batman bullshit out there.

[37:16] This one is Batman bullshit in that Robin is a primary character.

[37:22] We have-

[37:22] I'll buy it.

Elliott Kalan

[37:23] Yeah.

[37:23] Part of the Bat family.

[37:24] It doesn't exist on his own unless Batman invents him.

[37:27] So, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[37:28] Here we go.

[37:28] We got Teen Titans, The Judas Contract.

[37:32] Real.

[37:33] Teen Titans, The Scorpio Sanction.

[37:37] Teen Titans, The Acne Attack Me.

Elliott Kalan

[37:41] Okay.

[37:42] So, the real one is Teen Titans, The Judas Contract because that's a real story from the

[37:46] comics.

[37:46] And I don't think Dan knows a damn thing about the Teen Titans comics.

[37:49] I'm really glad there wasn't-

[37:51] So, the idea that by some million, some infinite monkeys at infinite typewriters trick of chance

[37:56] from Probability Dan somehow stumbled on a real Teen Titans thing.

[37:59] I'm going to say that's the real one.

Stuart Wellington

[38:01] I really- I'm really glad there wasn't one that was like, Teen Titans, The Nemesis Protocol.

[38:07] Because I'm like, that sounds like every movie.

[38:09] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[38:10] Well, the Judas Contract sounded like that same sort of bullshit to me, which is why it

[38:15] jumped out at me.

[38:16] But Elliot, you know, unfortunately, Elliot's comic knowledge, real knowledge-

[38:23] Yeah, real knowledge.

[38:24] R-E-E-L.

Elliott Kalan

[38:25] One of the defining Teen Titans stories.

[38:27] The story of their betrayal.

[38:28] By who?

[38:30] I'm not going to tell you.

[38:31] Oh, no.

[38:32] Okay.

[38:33] Who are the Teen Titans?

[38:35] Who's in that group?

[38:36] I mean, it changes, but your classic lineup is-

[38:39] The idea originally was that it was the sidekick characters.

[38:41] So, it was like Robin, Wonder Girl, Kid Flash, Aqualad, you know, that kind of stuff.

[38:48] But then over time, then there was the new Teen Titans, and they brought in like Starfire,

[38:52] Cyborg, Raven, Changeling, also known as Beast Boy.

[38:57] So-

Stuart Wellington

[38:57] What about- isn't like Lobo's daughter in that group?

[39:00] That's the newest Teen Titans, yes.

Elliott Kalan

[39:01] Oh, okay.

[39:02] Where it's like, where Lobo's daughter is a member.

[39:04] And also, I think Quiver, who's a Green Arrow character, is in there.

[39:07] And Robin, and it's-

[39:08] The Robin that is part of that is not the original Robin,

[39:11] but is, I think, the Damian Wayne Robin, Bruce Wayne's son, with Talia, the daughter of Reis Al Ghul.

[39:16] So, there's something I wrote.

[39:18] This is good.

[39:19] You know what?

[39:19] If anyone's more interested in these newer Teen Titans characters, pick up Are You Afraid of the Dark Side?

[39:24] Number one, a comic that I wrote the framing pages for, for DC last year,

[39:28] where each of the Titans is telling a scary story about something.

Dan McCoy

[39:32] I looked up who the Judas was in the Judas thing, and it had no impact-

[39:36] It's not a character you've ever heard of.

[39:37] Yeah, it had no impact on me, because I don't know who that is.

Stuart Wellington

[39:41] Um, okay.

[39:42] His name's Booster Gold, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[39:44] So, here's another trio of names.

[39:49] We've got Daughter of Batman, Son of Batman, Batman's personal injury lawyer, Larry.

Elliott Kalan

[39:59] I mean, it could be the last one, seeing as there's a TV show called Pennyworth, The Origin of Batman's Butler.

[40:04] Exactly.

[40:05] But, Stuart, do you want to take a crack at this one?

Stuart Wellington

[40:09] Uh, yeah, I'll do Son of Batman.

Dan McCoy

[40:11] Yes.

[40:11] It is Son of Batman.

Elliott Kalan

[40:13] Since, as I mentioned previously, Batman has a son.

[40:15] Oh.

[40:16] Yeah.

[40:16] Uh-huh.

Dan McCoy

[40:18] Batman gets around.

[40:19] Okay, we've got another.

Elliott Kalan

[40:20] I mean, he has one son.

[40:21] I mean, you only have to get around once to do that.

[40:24] It's true.

Stuart Wellington

[40:25] We got-

[40:25] The same amount as Lobo, apparently.

[40:28] That Lobo knows of.

[40:30] Now, is Lobo married, or is his daughter a bastard?

Elliott Kalan

[40:35] I don't know that I want to use the same terminology that Lobo might use.

[40:39] Uh, but no, I believe-

[40:41] Okay.

[40:41] I believe this is Lobo's illegitimate daughter.

[40:43] He, I think he denies parentage.

[40:45] He denies paternity, because Lobo is a jerk.

Stuart Wellington

[40:47] We have-

[40:48] But she's born with, like, chains and hooks and shit, right?

[40:51] I mean, she uses them.

Elliott Kalan

[40:52] I don't know if she was born with them.

[40:54] Yeah, okay.

[40:55] I think he's just mad, because if she's around, then he's no longer the last Zarnian, you know?

[40:58] Yeah, he's no longer the main man.

[41:00] Yeah.

[41:01] He was never the main man.

[41:02] He just calls himself that.

[41:02] I mean, Lobo is essentially like, what if Wolverine was a-

[41:05] He's a huge asshole.

[41:07] I know.

[41:08] He's awesome.

Dan McCoy

[41:11] Okay.

[41:12] Dan.

[41:13] Now, the next trio of titles is-

[41:17] You ready for this?

[41:18] Here it comes.

[41:19] Yeah.

[41:19] Berserker Batman.

[41:21] Batman Ninja.

[41:23] A Batman.

[41:24] A Bat Plan.

[41:25] A Bat Canal.

[41:26] Bat Panama.

[41:28] Not Panabat.

[41:29] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[41:32] I think Bat Ninja's the real one.

Elliott Kalan

[41:34] That would be my guess, too.

[41:36] Unless Berserker Batman is some kind of Elseworlds type story, where it's like, oh, a Viking wears a bat skin.

[41:42] You know, a cape made out of bat skin, and becomes a bat character in fights.

[41:45] So, I'm going to say probably-

[41:46] That's a lot of bats to make a cape made out of bat skin.

[41:49] Yeah.

[41:49] They're very small.

[41:50] And you're not using the wings, either.

[41:52] Or are you?

[41:53] Are you just using the wings?

[41:53] I'm sure you would.

[41:55] Because if you're using the wings and the fur, it's pretty patchy.

Dan McCoy

[41:57] I think you would have to use the wings, because if it's just the fur, like, oh, that's so many pelts you would need for a whole, like, robe, or what did you say?

[42:04] Like a cloak?

[42:05] Yeah.

[42:05] Like a cloak.

Stuart Wellington

[42:06] Yeah.

[42:07] Well, you want the wings because they got all those sick veins in them.

Elliott Kalan

[42:11] Yeah.

[42:11] All those little fingers.

[42:13] Well-

[42:13] Just like Bill Finger, co-creator of Batman.

Dan McCoy

[42:16] Yeah.

[42:16] It's Batman Ninja.

[42:17] You got it.

[42:18] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[42:18] Oh, great.

[42:19] Good.

[42:19] Last one in this category.

[42:21] Dan is so dreading that he came up with this category.

[42:24] He didn't realize how much talking there was going to be between each question.

Dan McCoy

[42:26] Yeah.

[42:26] This one, like, this was supposed to be the fast one in this second half of the show.

[42:31] Like, I'm like, oh, I'll have one that's just silly, and then I'll have one that's got a little more-

Stuart Wellington

[42:34] Well, you shouldn't have brought up Lobo, then.

Dan McCoy

[42:37] So, final grouping, we got Superman, Batman, public enemies, Superman v. Batman, fight to the finish, or Superman just punches Batman into outer space.

Stuart Wellington

[42:51] Well, that last one probably isn't it.

Dan McCoy

[42:54] Although it technically is correct, I guess.

[42:56] It seems like the one that should happen, but probably wouldn't.

[43:01] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[43:03] Wait, so it's Batman, Superman, public enemies, or Batman v. Superman fight to the finish.

[43:10] Fight to the finish.

[43:11] I'm going to go with public enemies.

Elliott Kalan

[43:13] I think I'm going to go with fight to the finish, and maybe we'll get a half point, depending on who's right.

Dan McCoy

[43:17] It's public enemies.

[43:19] I assume that that means that they are enemies of the state.

[43:25] But I think it would be funnier to imagine that they're, like, very specifically public enemies, not private enemies.

Elliott Kalan

[43:32] In private, they're friends.

[43:34] It's like, you know, they're keeping kayfabe.

[43:36] They're enemies in public, and then in private, they're, like, best buds.

Dan McCoy

[43:40] Okay, so let's move on quickly to the final category, which I am realizing I didn't write a clever name for, but it goes like-

[43:51] You really did put work into this this morning.

[43:53] What's your improv training's all about?

[43:54] You're just going to give a really cool nickname.

[43:56] Yeah, I'll call it Original Sins.

[43:59] Original Sins, because it goes like this.

[44:01] Okay, okay.

[44:02] All of the big streaming services have their, quote, originals section.

[44:06] Sometimes these are movies that were actually funded by the services.

[44:10] Sometimes they're just indie or foreign films.

[44:12] The services have slapped their names on.

[44:14] Sometimes they don't have any stars, and sometimes they have big name Hollywood talent.

[44:18] But they have all one thing in common, and that's that they get dumped to streaming with little or no promotion.

[44:26] So this round asks just one thing.

[44:29] Do you know anything about the following real streaming original movies?

[44:36] Points for any verifiably true facts about any of these movies.

[44:39] You have to be able to verify them?

[44:41] Okay.

[44:41] That makes it harder.

[44:42] Bonus points, if you can tell me if it's on Apple+, on Netflix, or on Hulu.

[44:48] They're all from one of those.

[44:49] Okay.

[44:50] These are all originals, quote, unquote, from the services.

Elliott Kalan

[44:54] You don't have to worry about any Roku originals or anything like that.

[44:56] No, no, no.

Dan McCoy

[44:57] Okay, this first movie is titled.

[44:59] There's only one of those, right?

Stuart Wellington

[45:00] And it's the weird album.

[45:01] I think it's just weird, yeah.

[45:02] Yeah.

[45:03] Too bad, because I could have told him something about that.

Dan McCoy

[45:07] This movie is titled simply Dads.

[45:12] Have you heard about this movie?

[45:13] Do you know what this movie is?

Stuart Wellington

[45:15] Oh, it's a movie called Dads.

[45:17] Yeah, D-A-D-S.

[45:18] Good case.

[45:18] We know it's a movie called Dads.

[45:20] Dads.

[45:21] I'm going to guess it's on Netflix.

Elliott Kalan

[45:26] Anything else about Dads?

Stuart Wellington

[45:29] I'm going to say Hulu.

[45:30] I'm going to guess Kevin Hart is in it.

Elliott Kalan

[45:33] Yeah, I also was going to guess Kevin Hart was in it, to be honest.

Dan McCoy

[45:39] Well, you know what?

[45:40] That man may show up at a later point.

[45:44] I'm not going to confirm or deny, but it probably confirmed it.

Elliott Kalan

[45:48] So it's possible Jackie Chan is in it.

[45:50] Dan doesn't know.

[45:51] We all know he has Jackie Chan blindness.

Dan McCoy

[45:52] This movie Dads is actually, I'm sorry, you both got it wrong, on Apple Plus.

[45:56] Oh.

[45:57] This movie is the only documentary I will mention.

[46:00] It is a documentary described as a, quote, joyful exploration of modern fatherhood.

[46:06] This doc gathers the testimonies of dads around the world from famous comedians to everyday parents.

[46:12] Like Kevin Hart, famous comedians?

[46:13] Directed by Bryce Dallas Howard.

Elliott Kalan

[46:16] Oh.

[46:16] Oh, BDH.

[46:18] My old college friends.

[46:20] What?

[46:20] Partner.

[46:21] Spouse.

Dan McCoy

[46:21] I love Bryce Dallas Howard.

[46:22] I do not want to listen to dads give testimonies about dadhood, especially when one of them on the autoplay was Jimmy Fallon.

[46:31] I'm sure like.

[46:32] But Dan, your name is so close to the name dad.

Elliott Kalan

[46:36] Yeah.

[46:37] What if it's called Dan's?

Dan McCoy

[46:38] No.

[46:39] What if it was called Dan's?

[46:40] There you have something.

[46:40] I would probably watch it in that case.

[46:44] It'd be like, these are the Daves I know, but it would be with Dan's.

[46:47] Okay.

[46:49] Let's add.

[46:49] Do you know anything about this film?

[46:51] Are you familiar with it at all?

[46:53] Have you heard anything?

[46:54] Do you know about.

[46:55] We don't know what the title is yet.

[46:57] About vacation friends.

[47:01] Yes.

[47:01] Oh.

[47:01] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[47:02] It's on Hulu, John Cena.

[47:04] Man, who else is in that shit?

[47:06] Is it Kevin Hart?

Dan McCoy

[47:07] It's got a stack.

[47:08] No, not.

[47:09] No.

[47:10] It's got a good cast.

[47:12] Lil Ray Howery.

[47:13] That's.

[47:14] Lil Ray Howery.

[47:14] I knew it was a comedian.

[47:15] Also, Meredith Hackner's in it, who I really like from Search Party.

[47:19] She's very funny.

[47:20] Uh-huh.

[47:21] Yeah, this is one of the bigger ones.

[47:23] I did see a little bit about vacation friends, but it also seems like, wow, movies can just disappear down a hole.

Stuart Wellington

[47:32] Premise of the movie, a kind of uptight couple goes on vacation.

[47:36] They bump into a crazy couple, and those, they have a lot of fun, and they get wasted and everything.

[47:41] But then after the vacation, that crazy couple follows them.

Elliott Kalan

[47:45] Yeah.

[47:46] You got it.

[47:46] Is that exactly what it is?

[47:47] I wasn't sure if it was that or that, like, they become friends with spies or something like that, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[47:52] I mean, they could be spies.

[47:53] We don't know.

[47:54] I'm sure at some point in development, they considered it when they're like, well, we have John Cena.

[47:58] Yeah.

[47:58] He is the most espionage-friendly actor we could think of.

Elliott Kalan

[48:02] Because wasn't there, there was a movie like that that came out, right?

[48:04] Where it was like a couple makes friends with another couple, and they're either like car artists or spies or something, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[48:09] Yeah, it was like Keeping Up with the Joneses or something.

[48:13] Whatever.

[48:14] And it was Jon Hamm and Gal Gadot.

[48:16] That's right.

[48:17] As the, like, super spies next door.

[48:19] That's right.

[48:19] And they, like, I don't know, go to a fucking Dave & Buster's and do other suburbian shit.

[48:24] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[48:25] That's what you do in suburbia.

[48:28] Go to Dave & Buster's.

[48:29] That's all you can do.

Stuart Wellington

[48:29] Go to Dave & Buster's.

[48:30] Go to one of those places where they put you in, like, a wind tunnel or whatever, and you put on a suit and you get to float around.

[48:36] Is that a thing?

[48:37] I think that happens in that movie.

Elliott Kalan

[48:39] I know, but is that a thing that people do in the suburbs?

Stuart Wellington

[48:41] Yeah.

[48:42] I don't live in the suburbs, dude.

[48:44] I'm fucking cool.

[48:45] Now that I'm in the suburbs, there's nothing to do except go to those other tunnels.

[48:48] Wow.

[48:49] Jeez Louise.

[48:51] I mean, it's not unfair.

[48:52] I'm just trying to un-wragging up hate mail.

[48:54] What the fuck is that?

[48:54] That's what I'm trying to do.

[48:55] I'm doing a real heel turn on this episode.

[48:57] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[48:59] Okay, this movie is titled The Man from Toronto.

[49:03] Have you met this man?

[49:05] He's from Toronto.

[49:06] What else might you know about him?

[49:08] Anything?

Elliott Kalan

[49:09] I feel like I saw a thumbnail of this on a streaming screen.

Dan McCoy

[49:14] Tell me about The Man from Toronto.

Elliott Kalan

[49:17] I know it's not.

[49:17] He's not a man named Otto.

[49:20] That's a different movie about a man.

[49:22] And he's not the hundred-year-old man who climbed out a window or whatever it's called.

[49:25] No.

Stuart Wellington

[49:26] It's not my Uncle Boon Me who can recall his past lives.

[49:30] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[49:31] Went up a hill and came down a mountain.

[49:32] Wait, is the man Uncle Boon Me?

[49:34] Is he from Toronto?

[49:36] Could be.

[49:38] Let's see.

[49:39] It's not a...

[49:40] It's not the man of the moon?

[49:41] He's not the family man or the weatherman.

Dan McCoy

[49:44] It's not the man who knew too little nor the man who knew too much.

[49:48] He's not a matchstick man.

Elliott Kalan

[49:50] He's not an Iron Man, an Iron Man 2, or an Iron Man 3.

Dan McCoy

[49:55] Not the Mandalorian.

Elliott Kalan

[49:58] It's not a Dan in real life.

[50:01] Not a manator.

[50:02] Not the Dandelorian.

[50:03] Dandelorian.

[50:04] Dandelorian.

[50:06] No, okay.

[50:06] Okay.

[50:07] Listeners, don't bother looking up for that link to the guy on the Letterman show.

[50:11] You got to Photoshop the Dandelorian right now.

[50:14] And Stu is Baby Yoda.

[50:16] It's got to be.

Stuart Wellington

[50:16] Uh, wait, what?

[50:18] I think of the two of us.

[50:20] You're both more popular and, no offense, smaller than me.

Elliott Kalan

[50:25] Not cute enough.

[50:26] Not cute enough.

[50:26] The cutest flopper has to be the cutest little Baby Yoda.

[50:28] And which one of us is always just taking things and sticking food in our mouth?

[50:33] That's actually true.

Dan McCoy

[50:36] So I'll tell you a little bit something about the man from Toronto.

[50:40] He may, he's either Kevin Hart or Woody Harrelson.

[50:43] I don't know which of them.

[50:44] Right.

[50:45] Yeah.

[50:45] Now, okay, now I'm remembering.

[50:46] I watched like five minutes of this movie.

[50:48] Kaley Cuoco is in it.

[50:49] The world's deadliest assassin and New York's biggest screw-up are mistaking for each other

[50:54] at an Airbnb rental.

[50:56] Ugh.

[50:57] The man from Toronto.

[51:00] Case of mistaken.

Stuart Wellington

[51:00] I think we watched the first five minutes of it to figure out the, to understand the premise

[51:06] and then we're like, nope.

Dan McCoy

[51:09] So moving into the vaguely uplifting sounding title section.

[51:15] Sorry.

[51:15] Okay.

[51:15] I feel good.

Elliott Kalan

[51:16] I feel good that at least there was a Kevin Hart movie on there.

[51:19] When Stuart and I immediately jumped on Kevin Hart earlier.

[51:21] No, you were right.

Dan McCoy

[51:22] You were right to do so.

[51:23] But now into the, there's a brief sort of themed section of vaguely uplifting sounding

[51:29] things.

[51:30] Excellent.

[51:31] This title, do you know anything about the sky is everywhere?

[51:37] The sky is everywhere.

Elliott Kalan

[51:42] That's not the one with George Clooney where he's, astronauts are coming back to a virus

[51:46] earth, right?

Dan McCoy

[51:47] No.

[51:47] And I will say, uh, before, uh, you know, like I, I'm making fun of the title, but, uh,

[51:53] it auto-played the trailer for this.

[51:55] And I was like, oh, this actually looks kind of interesting.

[51:58] Like I, it has a good look to it.

[52:00] It is directed by a woman who has made a movie I liked before.

[52:04] Um, what's that movie?

[52:07] Uh, it, uh, it's from the director of Shirley, Josephine Decker.

Elliott Kalan

[52:10] Oh, okay.

[52:11] Oh, I know something about this movie.

[52:12] It's from the director of Shirley.

[52:13] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[52:14] You get a point for that.

[52:16] No scope to right there, baby.

[52:17] Mm-hmm.

[52:18] Uh, here's what I can tell you about this movie.

[52:21] Lenny is a teen musical prodigy grieving the death of her sister when she finds herself

[52:25] caught between a new guy at school and her sister's devastated boyfriend.

[52:29] It looked like there was like a lot of dancing in it, a lot of colorful, uh, costumes starring

[52:35] Grace Kaufman, Sherry Jones, Cherry Jones, not Sherry Jones, sorry.

[52:39] Cherry Jones and Jason Segal.

[52:40] That's how they pronounce it in France.

[52:42] Yeah.

[52:43] Mon Cherie Jones.

[52:45] Uh, okay.

[52:46] Oh, wow, I've got a gambit on this podcast.

[52:48] And, uh, here's a, here's another title for you.

[52:51] It's, it's called The Ultimate Playlist of Noise.

[52:55] The Ultimate Playlist of Noise.

[52:58] Oh, okay.

[53:00] That last one was an Apple Plus, by the way.

[53:02] Apple Plus.

Elliott Kalan

[53:02] That sounds like an Apple Plus movie, the last one.

Stuart Wellington

[53:05] So, this sounds like the opposite of another Apple Plus movie, Coda.

[53:12] Mm-hmm.

[53:13] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[53:14] Uh, you're not, honestly.

[53:16] The Ultimate Absence of Noise in Coda as it dealt with hearing loss, you know.

Dan McCoy

[53:19] Yeah, well, you're onto something here.

[53:21] So, I'll tell you, uh, because this, this description made me angry when I heard it.

[53:28] And I wanna, I'm curious to see if it has the same effect on you guys.

Elliott Kalan

[53:31] And he reads the description and it's, Dan's a jerk.

[53:33] What a dick.

[53:34] And I'm like, eh, it doesn't bother me.

[53:35] I think it's fine.

[53:37] Just kidding, Dan.

[53:38] That would make me mad if I saw that description somewhere.

[53:40] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[53:41] If someone else said it.

[53:42] Yeah.

[53:42] Anyway.

[53:44] After learning he must undergo brain surgery that will render him deaf, Marcus, an audio-obsessed

[53:50] high school senior, decides to seize control of his fate by recording the Ultimate Playlist

[53:56] of Noise, a bucket list of all his favorite sounds.

[54:01] What a-

Stuart Wellington

[54:01] That sounds, that sounds rough, guys.

Dan McCoy

[54:03] Dier sounding.

Elliott Kalan

[54:05] What?

[54:05] It's, they somehow took the joy out of the sound of metal.

[54:10] The movie was already fairly joyless.

Dan McCoy

[54:12] I didn't really recognize anyone involved in this except for the name Madeline Brewer,

[54:18] who I think was in Cam?

[54:21] Anyway.

[54:22] Oh, yeah.

[54:22] I like Cam.

[54:23] Yeah, I'm not familiar with it.

[54:24] This was on, that was on Hulu.

[54:26] So, okay, we've only got-

Elliott Kalan

[54:27] So, he's recording sounds to like listen to them before he loses his hearing?

Dan McCoy

[54:32] That's part of what I don't understand.

[54:33] Like, I guess this is like just his gift to the world as he, like, these are the sounds

[54:38] I used to like.

[54:39] Oh.

Elliott Kalan

[54:40] Now it's just a sound that I used to like.

Dan McCoy

[54:43] Because he can't listen to them afterwards.

[54:46] No.

Elliott Kalan

[54:48] It reminds me a little bit of We Are Your Friends, where he like, he uses the real audio

[54:52] of his friends being depressed and all of the other stuff around him and turns it into

[54:56] a, just a jam.

[54:58] Just a rock and EDM jam.

Stuart Wellington

[55:00] Yeah, yeah.

[55:00] Just come, just go check out the Flophouse episode on that movie.

[55:05] Perfect.

Dan McCoy

[55:07] Okay.

[55:07] I'm got, there's three more here.

[55:09] I'm going to go through.

[55:11] It's, the first one is Day Shift.

[55:13] Have you heard anything about Day Shift?

[55:14] Do you know Day Shift?

Stuart Wellington

[55:16] I haven't seen it, but I do know that Scott Adkins is in it.

[55:19] So, I think it has something to do with fighting vampires.

[55:22] It's like vampire hunters who operate during the day, maybe.

[55:25] That makes sense.

[55:25] Jamie Foxx is in it.

[55:26] Yes.

[55:27] Someone else, there's like a young guy in it.

[55:29] Yeah, that's true.

[55:30] Is it like Jack Quaid or like a Jack Quaid type?

Dan McCoy

[55:34] I would say you're not a million miles away.

[55:38] It's Dave Franco.

[55:39] Dave Franco.

[55:40] Oh, okay.

[55:43] Yeah, this was a bigger one, but I thought maybe there was a chance that you didn't know

[55:48] anything about it.

[55:48] It's Scott Adkins.

[55:49] Because of Scott Adkins.

[55:50] Yeah.

[55:50] There's usually a good chance.

[55:52] Yeah.

[55:52] It's a Netflix one.

[55:53] Okay, here's one.

Stuart Wellington

[55:54] I mean, I'm going to have to see the fucking like 10-hour John Wick 4 movie in it just because

[56:00] for some reason they cast Scott Adkins and put him in like a fat suit, which is wild,

[56:05] but like, okay, it's probably going to be better than the whale.

Dan McCoy

[56:10] Here's one for you.

[56:11] It's called Chicken Hair and the Hamster of Darkness.

[56:16] Do you know anything about chicken hair and the hamster?

[56:21] You're just making shit up now.

Elliott Kalan

[56:21] Yeah, I'm guessing that it's a children's movie, but I could be wrong about that.

[56:25] But it sounds like a children's movie.

Dan McCoy

[56:27] This is a computer animated co-production between Belgium, France, and the US.

Elliott Kalan

[56:34] Yeah, that title has that feel to it.

Dan McCoy

[56:36] As such, I did not recognize anyone involved in it, but it follows a young hero born half

[56:42] chicken and half hair, eager to fit in and feel loved in spite of his differences.

[56:47] He is obsessed by adventuring in spite of his clumsiness.

Stuart Wellington

[56:51] Yep.

[56:51] That's on Netflix.

[56:52] And he has to record all of his favorite sounds for us.

Dan McCoy

[56:57] Yeah, so if you want to see this half chicken, half hair, I assume some sort of horrific monstrosity,

[57:05] fight a hamster of darkness.

Stuart Wellington

[57:06] I mean, you say that, it's probably gorgeous looking.

Elliott Kalan

[57:09] I feel like European animation often has character designs that I find unpleasant,

[57:15] you know, as gorgeous as the animation itself often is.

Stuart Wellington

[57:17] Which streamer had this one?

[57:19] Is this Netflix?

[57:20] That was Netflix.

[57:21] That sounds like the company Netflix.

[57:22] Snapping up foreign.

[57:24] Yeah, not as exciting.

Elliott Kalan

[57:26] Yeah, this is maybe more the Pinocchio true story level of European animation.

[57:30] Not the like triplets of Belleville level of European animation.

[57:33] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[57:34] Okay.

[57:34] So one last in this category.

[57:37] Raymond and Ray.

[57:39] Do you know the story of two gentlemen?

[57:42] One by the name of Raymond.

[57:44] One by the name of Ray.

[57:45] Does this star...

[57:46] They're linked together by...

Elliott Kalan

[57:47] Jamie Foxx and Ray Romano.

[57:49] And it's his character from Every Lives Raymond meeting Ray Charles.

Dan McCoy

[57:52] Raymond and Ray.

[57:54] What could one say about Raymond and Ray?

Elliott Kalan

[57:57] Are you James Patterson advertising your new murder thriller, Raymond and Ray?

Dan McCoy

[58:05] Oh, man.

[58:06] I love that dude.

Stuart Wellington

[58:08] There's nothing in the rule book that says a fucking author can't make his own commercials.

Elliott Kalan

[58:12] No.

[58:13] And look, he says...

[58:14] He's like, that's why my books sell, because of my great commercials.

[58:17] All right.

[58:17] Okay.

[58:17] Yeah, fucking rocks.

Dan McCoy

[58:19] Well, I chose this one to end on because it is from...

[58:25] It is a movie with two major...

[58:29] Rays.

[58:29] With two major stars, actually.

[58:36] Alpha Centauri.

Elliott Kalan

[58:38] And Sirius.

Dan McCoy

[58:38] A director whose name I recognize, although I'm not really sure why.

[58:44] Rodrigo Garcia.

[58:46] This is half-brothers Raymond and Ray reunite when their estranged father dies and discover that his final wish was for them to dig his grave.

[58:57] And this film, guys, stars Ethan Hawke and Ewan McGregor.

[59:01] Ethan Hawke and Ewan McGregor together in a picture that no one, I presume, has ever heard of because you two guys, who are equally obsessed with nonsense as me, have not heard of it.

Stuart Wellington

[59:15] Have you not heard of this one?

[59:17] Is that why you picked it?

[59:18] You're like, oh, Raymond and Ray.

[59:19] I actually...

Dan McCoy

[59:20] I had heard of it, but I think it was in the context of what is this movie with Ethan Hawke and Ewan McGregor doing getting dumped to Apple Plus.

[59:29] Presumably...

[59:30] Who plays the father, does it say?

[59:32] Let's see.

[59:33] Let's look at...

Elliott Kalan

[59:34] Sounds like a juicy part for an older actor.

Stuart Wellington

[59:36] Mm-hmm.

[59:37] Like a Nick Nolte type or...

[59:39] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[59:39] I mean, he's dead at the beginning of the film, I believe, but maybe you see him in flashback.

[59:44] Of course you see him in flashbacks.

[59:46] Yeah, definitely.

Stuart Wellington

[59:47] That's like saying, being like, Richard Jenkins isn't in Six Feet Under, and you're like, I know he's dead at the beginning, but you see his ass in flashbacks like the whole show.

Elliott Kalan

[59:54] He just shows up as a ghost talking to them, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[59:57] Let's see.

[59:58] I don't see who the father is, though.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:01] You think he did that so they could get out of paying his SAG dues?

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:06] Oh, but I'm not in this.

[1:00:08] I don't have to pay dues.

[1:00:09] Technically, I'm a ghost.

[1:00:09] I'm a ghost, so...

[1:00:11] Ghosts don't owe SAG dues.

[1:00:12] Are you going to go get done Errol Flynn for his SAG money now?

[1:00:15] Anyway, I'll see you later.

[1:00:16] I got to go make the visitor.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:18] Todd Luiso is in it.

[1:00:20] You remember him from High Fidelity?

[1:00:21] You got Vondi Curtis Hall on the sporting role.

[1:00:24] Some great actors.

[1:00:27] Oscar Nunez from The Office shows up.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:29] Yeah, so listeners, write in.

[1:00:31] Have you watched any of these?

[1:00:33] Are we being jerks?

Dan McCoy

[1:00:34] Are they all super good?

[1:00:35] Maybe they're worth watching.

[1:00:36] They could be.

[1:00:37] Hey, I'm making no claims for the quality.

[1:00:38] As I said, that one that I looked at, I laughed at the title, but it looked pretty good, and the reviews looked pretty good.

[1:00:46] So I might actually check it out.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:47] We're living in this weird world now where the way you and me and Stu grew up, we didn't have YouTubes or whatever.

[1:00:52] We didn't have Streamsters.

[1:00:53] We grew up at a time when if a movie was worthy of being watched, you would expect it to be released in theaters.

[1:00:59] And if it was not worthy of being watched, you would expect it to go to direct-to-video.

[1:01:02] And there were some exceptions to both.

[1:01:03] I mean, many exceptions to the movies released in theaters.

[1:01:05] But some exceptions, there were direct-to-video movies.

[1:01:07] There were some that were good.

[1:01:08] But now that that's – since almost no movies except the biggest of the bigs get released in theaters now, like, there's no way of knowing.

[1:01:18] Just because something was dumped on a streamer doesn't mean it's bad.

[1:01:20] Whereas before, if it was dumped on video, you pretty much could tell it wasn't going to be that good.

[1:01:24] Well, that's – I mean, look.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:25] Especially, like, I grew up in a smaller market too.

[1:01:27] So, like, there was even fewer things coming out in theaters.

[1:01:29] So there would be stuff showing up at my local video store, which was inside my grocery store, that I would be like, oh, wow, Deep Star 6.

[1:01:37] This looks great.

[1:01:38] But – or I'd find out about movies because they would just be left out on the railroad tracks next to hobo pornography.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:45] Yeah.

[1:01:46] Now, is this pornography hobos would use or it's hobo-themed pornography?

[1:01:49] It's kind of a mix, honestly.

[1:01:51] Oh, okay.

[1:01:52] Yeah.

[1:01:52] If I'm making a point with –

[1:01:54] Let's see what's in barely covering his foot shoes this month.

[1:01:59] Oh, wow.

[1:02:01] This is some hot hobo porn.

[1:02:03] Let me just go to Gentleman's Barrel Fire.

[1:02:06] The loosest top hat tops there are.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:12] Yeah, yeah.

[1:02:12] Honey's dragging a bindle.

[1:02:14] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:15] I didn't see the last issue of Big Beans, but there's some hot stuff in it.

[1:02:19] Sure.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:21] No, if I'm making any point at all, it's that if, you know, like, some of these movies presumably are worth someone's time.

[1:02:30] If there's anything good about them, like, I wish that streamers would put some more effort into getting the word out there rather than –

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:39] As someone who worked on two shows for Netflix that received almost no promotion at all, yeah.

[1:02:44] I wish that streamers kind of, like, believed in promoting anything other than the biggest thing that they have.

[1:02:51] Yeah.

[1:02:51] It feels like Netflix's ad budget every year.

[1:02:53] They're like, what's the one movie we're promoting this year?

[1:02:56] Bright?

[1:02:57] Okay.

[1:02:57] Promote the shit out of it.

[1:02:59] Like, what's the one movie we're doing?

[1:03:00] Yes.

[1:03:00] Sure.

[1:03:01] Yeah, exactly.

[1:03:02] It's Glass Onion's the movie this year.

[1:03:04] Okay, let's make sure everyone in the world knows what Glass Onion is and we'll ignore all the other movies that we're putting out.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:09] Yeah.

[1:03:10] Well, anyway, that was a bizarrely serious note to end this goofy video.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:15] Dan, I want to apologize.

[1:03:17] Nothing worked out the way you wanted to.

[1:03:18] The Batman round took a long time.

[1:03:20] We didn't have fun.

[1:03:21] At the end, we felt bad about slagging on these movies that we've never heard of and decided to get serious for a moment.

[1:03:26] This was – how can we make this up to you, Dan?

[1:03:29] How can we make up to you what we did?

[1:03:31] Can we do anything?

Dan McCoy

[1:03:32] This is classic Flophouse, guys.

[1:03:34] This is – the message that we are sending out into the world is it's possible to, you know, sort of pan for gold, like get some beauty out of the sloppiest, least sort of, you know, going to plan things you can imagine.

[1:03:53] And that's what life is, everyone.

[1:03:56] That's what life is.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:57] I can't believe you wrote that whole speech out ahead of time.

[1:03:59] I know.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:03] Well, I had it on my hand, so some of the words got smudged.

[1:04:07] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:04:07] It got smudged because of the soup you spilled on your hand.

[1:04:11] Well –

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:11] He was just pouring the soup over his hand, which is a strange thing to do with soup, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:17] I mean, it was gazpacho, so at least I wasn't burning myself.

[1:04:21] Oh, yeah.

[1:04:21] Thank goodness.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:22] Well, he was trying to filter out all the gazpacho lumps.

[1:04:26] Through his fingers.

[1:04:28] Yeah, do it by hand like in the old country.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:33] That's what he did it.

[1:04:35] That's, you know, the rich cultural tradition.

[1:04:38] We have lost all those gazpacho strainers.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:40] Used to be you could raise a family on a gazpacho strain job and now the craft is – it's like there's that type of noodle where to make it you have to – like you straddle a huge rolling pin and you bounce up and down on it.

[1:04:53] And I remember watching a TV show and they're like –

[1:04:54] What?

[1:04:54] Yeah, men don't want to learn this craft anymore because it makes you impotent.

[1:04:59] And I'm like, yeah, that makes sense to me.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:05] Okay.

[1:05:06] Well, that was a beautiful story.

[1:05:10] Let's leave it there.

[1:05:11] Thank you to Maximum Fun.

[1:05:13] Go to MaximumFun.org for other great podcasts on the Maximum Fun Network.

[1:05:16] Thank you to our producer, Alex Smith.

[1:05:19] You can find him on various socials as Howell Doughty.

[1:05:23] He does music.

[1:05:23] He does a lot of his own videos.

[1:05:25] Look them up.

[1:05:26] But that's us, the Flophouse, for this week.

[1:05:30] I've been Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:32] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:05:33] And I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:05:35] I want to know what those fucking noodles taste like.

S4

[1:05:44] MaximumFun.org.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:45] Comedy and culture.

[1:05:47] Artist owned.

[1:05:48] Audience supported.

FH Mini 75 - Battle of the Streaming Networks

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