FH Mini 75 - Battle of the Streaming Networks

[0:00] Hey everyone, welcome to the Flophouse, I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:07] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:08] And hey, I'm Elliot Kalin, that's right, all three of us back together again, as we are

[0:14] every week.

[0:15] Yeah, I don't, it's not special, uh, there was a time in the history of the podcast where

[0:19] it was special to...

[0:20] I find the time I spend with you very special, I'm sorry that you don't reciprocate that

[0:23] feeling.

[0:24] Dan?

[0:25] Okay, well...

[0:26] Dan, I invited you to my birthday.

[0:30] And here you are throwing, here you are throwing the time we spend together in my face.

[0:35] I apologize.

[0:36] My beautiful face, Dan.

[0:38] It's meaningful to all.

[0:39] It is a beautiful face, and well worth throwing better things in.

[0:43] Okay, like...

[0:44] Thank you, only good things.

[0:45] Like what, sardines?

[0:46] Or...

[0:47] Sardines, or you know, like chicken nuggets.

[0:48] Depending on the price, yep, chicken nuggies, yep, depending on shape and cost.

[0:52] Dinosaur shaped.

[0:54] And whether or not they're Dorito, dusted, or whatever the fuck, you can get your nuggies

[0:58] done.

[0:59] Did we...

[1:00] What's this podcast about?

[1:01] Is this podcast about my face and nuggies?

[1:03] I was about to...

[1:04] On this podcast we talk about different kinds of nuggies that can go in Stuart's face.

[1:09] Now this is a podcast where sort of the main episodes are where we watch a bad movie and

[1:13] then we talk about it, and then every other week we sort of just get together and do random

[1:19] stuff that appeals to one of us in turn.

[1:22] We sort of round-robin it often.

[1:23] It fits into the general sensibility of the show, even if not the content purview.

[1:28] Yeah, it tends to hue towards the sort of things that we might talk about in the Flop

[1:33] House anyway, but...

[1:36] So in this episode, I'm in charge, and...

[1:40] Here comes trouble.

[1:41] Uh-oh.

[1:42] Uh-oh.

[1:43] Uh-oh.

[1:44] Uh-oh.

[1:45] Uh-oh.

[1:46] Uh-oh.

[1:47] Uh-oh.

[1:48] Uh-oh.

[1:49] Uh-oh.

[1:50] Uh-oh.

[1:51] Uh-oh.

[1:52] Uh-oh.

[1:53] Uh-oh.

[1:54] Uh-oh.

[1:55] Uh-oh.

[1:56] Uh-oh.

[1:57] Yeah.

[1:58] It was late at night.

[2:00] We'd come back from a Stuart's Bar Hinterlands where we were playing some games with our

[2:05] good friends John and Mary and some other folks.

[2:09] And uh...

[2:10] They are not as good of friends.

[2:11] They don't deserve to be named.

[2:12] Were they funny games?

[2:15] No one got murdered.

[2:18] So I would say they weren't as funny as they could be, because we all know that's the most

[2:24] hilarious games.

[2:25] Is that the funny part?

[2:26] The murder.

[2:27] Oh, man.

[2:28] This is a laugh riot.

[2:29] Oh, my God.

[2:30] Get a load of this.

[2:31] Oh, yummy.

[2:32] Yummy.

[2:33] Just wait and see what he does with that golf club.

[2:34] Okay, guys.

[2:35] I've got to...

[2:36] Ich haben another gut buster for all of you.

[2:39] It's called funny games.

[2:41] So we were coming back from Hinterlands late at night.

[2:45] I put on...

[2:46] I was watching some random stuff on YouTube.

[2:48] I'm like, dish up something for me, algorithm.

[2:51] And uh...

[2:52] I love that.

[2:53] We were getting a portrait of a man who leads a rich, full life until you got to that part.

[2:57] Yeah, sure.

[2:58] Well, I actually mentioned this on Sister Max Fun Show, Maximum Film.

[3:04] I had not watched a lot of YouTube, because I think we're of an age where that was not

[3:10] sort of...

[3:11] You know, we're a little too old for that to have been introduced to us as part of our

[3:17] growing up way of consuming media.

[3:20] Yes.

[3:21] But I've discovered recently that the thing is, it is the world's greatest repository

[3:26] and museum of the media that I do care about, which is random shit that I remember from

[3:31] my childhood, you know, that was on television or whatnot, or forgotten movies or whatever

[3:37] you have.

[3:38] And so the algorithm dished me up something from actually before my time.

[3:43] It was Karen Carpenter doing a long, long drum solo on the Carpenter's Variety Show.

[3:50] And we were talking about how weird television used to be.

[3:53] And I asked Audrey whether she had heard of Battle of the Network Stars, which is a

[3:57] thing that was before our time as well.

[4:00] This is something I only know as a reference.

[4:03] Yes.

[4:04] Where they would get, you know, the stars from different TV shows who are on the networks

[4:09] at that time, have them compete in, you know, physical challenges, like sports challenges,

[4:15] except for the...

[4:16] Athletic contests.

[4:17] Well, athletic contests.

[4:18] But also...

[4:20] I think I learned about it through Mad Magazine and their reoccurring bit, Battle of the Bleck

[4:24] Jerk Stars.

[4:25] Yeah.

[4:26] Shame on you, Stuart.

[4:27] Mad Magazine was so much better than that.

[4:31] Some of them...

[4:32] I mean, some of them are true.

[4:35] That usual gang of idiots.

[4:39] Some of them are true, you know, athletic competitions, like races.

[4:44] And then some of them are, like, they have a dunk tank, which is clearly just an excuse

[4:49] for Barbara Bach to fall into water, and it's the 70s, and people are like, ooh, the outline

[4:56] of nipples, and everyone's excited, and that was your grandfather's pornography, is what

[5:03] I'm saying.

[5:04] Anyway...

[5:05] I mean, my grandfather was already an old man, or at least a middle-aged man by the

[5:08] time of Battle of the Network Stars.

[5:09] He really likes Barbara Bach.

[5:10] I see, that's what it was.

[5:12] My grandfather went over to his buddy's house, where they all put on tuxedos, and my buddy's

[5:18] niece read them a really sexy story, and they all got boners.

[5:22] Is this Handmaiden?

[5:24] Yeah, just the movie Handmaiden.

[5:27] Dan, so I wanted to mention that the outline of nipples is also one of the Poirot novels,

[5:34] isn't it?

[5:35] Yeah.

[5:36] Yeah.

[5:37] The mysterious outline of nipples at Stiles.

[5:40] That's what she was reading to those horny dudes.

[5:45] So we watched a little of it before Audrey very quickly was like, yeah, I get the idea.

[5:51] This is all sort of mostly just a bit of color to explain a largely unrelated concept, Battle

[5:57] of the Streaming Networks.

[6:00] I've come up with four short games centered around...

[6:05] Physical challenges, I'm guessing.

[6:07] Centered around the networks of today, the streaming channels, and you guys are going

[6:13] to not so much compete, because I don't think we really care about who gets points and wins

[6:18] on these things.

[6:19] This will be an at midnight style game, where the game is just a loose framework for whatever

[6:24] nonsense.

[6:25] And so the first of the Battle of the Streaming Networks events is something I call Classic,

[6:33] Classic or Vlassic.

[6:36] I was hoping Vlassic would be the third word.

[6:39] So I'm going to read a list of three names and you tell me which of these can be found

[6:43] on HBO's Turner Classic Movies Hub, which is a movie that 2B has put in its modern classic

[6:52] category.

[6:53] OK.

[6:54] And which of these is a type of Vlassic pickle?

[6:56] OK.

[6:57] OK.

[6:58] So the first...

[6:59] I hope you don't say like Broken Arrow, because that could be any of those.

[7:03] Yeah.

[7:04] Those are the pickles that didn't make it through the factory process intact.

[7:08] Yeah.

[7:09] So these are the three titles.

[7:11] We have Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

[7:14] We have Thunderbolt and Lightfoot.

[7:18] And we have Bread and Butter Spears.

[7:21] All classics in their own way, but which is the Turner Classic, which is the 2B classic.

[7:26] At the risk of falling for a trap, Stuart, maybe give...

[7:30] Let's take a shot at this.

[7:31] Yeah.

[7:32] So Bread and Butter is the Vlassic pickle, huh?

[7:34] Yeah.

[7:35] You are correct.

[7:36] I would say Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is probably Turner Classic Movies.

[7:40] I know they run it a fair amount on their actual network.

[7:42] And that Thunderbolt and Lightfoot is probably 2B modern classic.

[7:47] But I could see it going either way for those two.

[7:49] Well, you're off to a raring start.

[7:51] You were correct.

[7:52] Three for three on that.

[7:53] So the team...

[7:54] I mean, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is too old to be considered modern at this point.

[7:56] Yeah.

[7:57] That's...

[7:58] Yeah.

[7:59] This non-competitive...

[8:00] Oh, man.

[8:01] ...game is one for one right now.

[8:03] I love it.

[8:04] The future is cooperative games.

[8:05] People love cooperative games.

[8:06] Yeah.

[8:07] Yeah.

[8:08] Yeah.

[8:09] I just don't like the pressure of head-to-head competition anymore.

[8:10] Yeah.

[8:11] I feel like I get enough of that out of life.

[8:12] Yeah.

[8:13] Yeah.

[8:14] Mm-hmm.

[8:15] Tell me about it.

[8:16] I mean, you shouldn't regard life as a competition.

[8:17] What a serial.

[8:18] That's a typical...

[8:19] That's probably a problematic way of going about it.

[8:20] I regard life as a competition and all my relationships as like a balance sheet.

[8:24] It's all...

[8:25] Oh, God.

[8:26] ...what they can do for me.

[8:27] Stuart.

[8:28] Yeah.

[8:29] That's a terrible way of going about anything.

[8:30] Okay.

[8:31] No, no.

[8:32] You're talking to somebody who can bench-press 225 pounds.

[8:33] So...

[8:34] That's just true.

[8:35] ...obviously, he's doing something right.

[8:36] It's all numbers game.

[8:37] Well, I think if you believe that life is a competition, then that's the kind of thing

[8:40] that you do.

[8:41] Dan, when you get up to heaven and St. Peter is like, let me look at how many points you

[8:44] accrued in the game of life.

[8:46] Uh-huh.

[8:47] Yeah.

[8:48] Well...

[8:49] Oh, not very many.

[8:50] You were busy helping people instead of being on that grind and working for you, you know?

[8:52] Helping people.

[8:53] Uh-huh.

[8:54] Well, that's charitable.

[8:55] Whatever trash Tubi serves up to me helping people.

[8:58] Yeah, yeah.

[8:59] Speaking of Tubi, let's get back to the game.

[9:01] Oh, sure, sure.

[9:02] Yeah.

[9:03] Okay.

[9:04] We've got three titles here.

[9:05] All right.

[9:06] The first is Fern Gully, The Last Rainforest.

[9:08] Okay.

[9:09] Mm-hmm.

[9:10] The second title is Kosher Gherkins.

[9:13] And the third, The Four Troublesome Heads.

[9:17] The Four Troublesome Heads.

[9:19] All classics in their own way.

[9:21] Stuart, you want to take this one?

[9:23] Uh...

[9:24] No.

[9:25] Mm-hmm.

[9:26] Okay.

[9:27] Do you want me to take it, then?

[9:28] No, no, no, no, no.

[9:29] What's the Gherkins?

[9:30] Mm-hmm.

[9:31] That's a classic.

[9:32] Okay.

[9:33] Let's get that one out of here.

[9:34] That's a classic.

[9:35] Yes, that is a classic.

[9:36] I know that's a classic.

[9:37] Fern Gully, The Last...

[9:38] Unless the Kosher Gherkin is some kind of Jewish spy.

[9:39] I'm going to say Fern Gully, The Last Rainforest is a Tubi modern classic, and I'm going to

[9:40] say it's a classic.

[9:41] It's a classic.

[10:00] It's one of Mellier's movies. They have a lot of Mellier's short films on the TCM Hub.

[10:06] Yeah, it was that work he did for Full Moon Entertainment.

[10:11] Alright, so another match-up.

[10:16] We've got I Married a Witch.

[10:19] We have Original Dill Holes.

[10:25] That's a Pornhub title, isn't it?

[10:28] And lastly, Cockfighter.

[10:31] Okay, so I'll take this one. The Dill one is a classic.

[10:34] Cockfighter would be a modern classic. I didn't know that was on Tubi.

[10:38] It is on Tubi, yeah.

[10:40] And I Married a Witch is from the 40s, so that's Turner Classic Movies.

[10:43] Turner Classic Movies. I will say Holes is spelled with a W.

[10:48] That's indicating a whole pickle rather than a spear.

[10:52] Not what I was hoping for.

[10:54] I tried to watch I Married a Witch on my flight down to Key West.

[10:58] I downloaded it to my phone.

[11:01] Not a lot of jokes in that comedy.

[11:04] It's more of a delightful movie than a funny movie.

[11:09] It's got a certain charm to it, but I agree. It's not a hilarious comedy.

[11:14] I was looking forward to a good old-fashioned Hollywood comedy.

[11:17] It let me down a little.

[11:19] It's the same way that a lot of things that get categorized as comedy now are not hilarious.

[11:25] It's just that they're kind of pleasant.

[11:27] Like what? Tar?

[11:28] They end happily.

[11:29] Yeah, like Tar, exactly.

[11:31] Which ends happily for achieving everyone's dream of conducting the score of a video game for an audience of cosplayers.

[11:37] That movie's fucking funny, though.

[11:40] It is funny.

[11:41] Now we've got another match-up.

[11:43] First up, we have Zesty Dill Stackers.

[11:48] Then, Mannequin.

[11:50] And lastly, Short Circuit.

[11:53] I'm just amazed that we've still done so many of these.

[11:55] This is a toughie.

[11:57] It is a toughie.

[11:59] Zesty Dill Stackers, Mannequin, and Short Circuit.

[12:02] Do you want to give it a go, Stu? Or do you want me to take this one?

[12:05] Okay, so I think Short Circuit is a Vlassic.

[12:12] All right, interesting.

[12:16] Mannequin is a 2B modern classic.

[12:19] And what was my third option?

[12:22] Short Circuit.

[12:24] Nope, I already said that was a Vlassic.

[12:27] Zesty Dill Stackers, sorry.

[12:30] Yep, that sounds like a TCM for me.

[12:33] You know what, Stu?

[12:35] In the interest of keeping Team Unity together, I'm going to back you up on this one.

[12:39] Despite possible reservations I may have.

[12:42] I think those were all three wrong.

[12:45] I think it was three for three wrong.

[12:48] In a way, that's harder than getting them all right.

[12:51] He shot the moon. We get extra points.

[12:53] Of course the Vlassic is the Dill Stackers.

[12:56] Of course he says. That's obvious.

[12:58] Mannequin was on Turner Classic Movies.

[13:01] Oddly, I would argue the worst of these options.

[13:06] Turner Classic Movies doesn't always show good movies.

[13:08] That's one of the things I kind of like about it.

[13:10] Short Circuit, 2B.

[13:13] Okay, and now last in this Classic, Classic, or Vlassic category.

[13:19] We've got She's Having a Baby.

[13:22] Hercules in New York.

[13:24] And X-Treme Heat Chips.

[13:27] That's of course X-Treme with no E, just an X.

[13:30] That could be a modern classic, but I'm going to guess it's a Vlassic.

[13:34] Yeah, that's a Vlassic.

[13:36] She's Having a Baby and Hercules in New York?

[13:38] That's tough.

[13:40] Stuart, let me know if you agree.

[13:42] I'm going to say She's Having a Baby, 2B Modern Classic.

[13:45] Hercules in New York, Turner Classic Movies Classic.

[13:48] Yeah, I'll back you.

[13:50] I'm sorry, it was the reverse.

[13:52] Hercules was on 2B and She's Having a Baby on Turner Classic Movies.

[13:57] I think that overall though, you still got more than you missed.

[14:00] So let's count that a team win.

[14:02] To throwing the match to a certain extent.

[14:04] Yeah, exactly.

[14:06] Sometimes you've just got to make life a little bit more challenging for yourself.

[14:10] It's like how sometimes I add additional weight to the bar that I'm lifting to just challenge my body.

[14:16] Okay, well next up we've got something I'm calling Turner Classic Hoovies.

[14:23] We're going to stay in the Turner Classic.

[14:26] It's about the Hoover vacuum cleaners in your favorite movies.

[14:28] I would say that the Hoo actually is a bit of a stretch in terms of a title.

[14:32] It's more of a what.

[14:34] I love how much of this episode is you're like here's a story about Battle of the Network Stars.

[14:39] Anyway, it's not that important.

[14:41] I'm just using the name.

[14:42] Here's this game.

[14:43] By the way, the name doesn't really tell you much about the game.

[14:45] You know, sometimes the journey is more rewarding.

[14:50] No, you're right.

[14:51] It's like Lord of the Rings, baby.

[14:54] So I've picked some of the most intriguing-sounding titles from the TCM app.

[14:59] We're moving into the actual TCM app, not the Hub on Max.

[15:02] Okay.

[15:03] So the app is more centered on older films.

[15:06] Yes, and those movies change.

[15:08] It's not always the same movies.

[15:09] They're on for limited amounts of time.

[15:10] And Elliot has to tell us whether he's seen these movies or not.

[15:14] If he has seen them, Stuart has to guess what the movie is about, and Elliot gets to tell us how close Stuart got.

[15:21] Okay.

[15:22] If you haven't, I'll just tell you what the movie is.

[15:25] Okay.

[15:26] So first up, we have a movie.

[15:27] It's called Madam Satan.

[15:30] Have you seen this movie, Elliot?

[15:31] I've heard of Madam Satan, but I've not seen it.

[15:33] No.

[15:34] Okay.

[15:35] Do you know what it's about?

[15:36] No, I don't.

[15:37] Okay.

[15:38] All right.

[15:39] Stuart, do you want to guess anyway?

[15:40] Yeah, sure.

[15:41] So I'm going to guess that it is about a brothel proprietress who opens up a portal to hell.

[15:50] And Satan shows up, and then they get married.

[15:52] That sounds great.

[15:53] I would totally watch that movie.

[15:55] This is a musical.

[15:56] It could still be that plot.

[15:59] Yep.

[16:00] Yeah.

[16:01] Fingers are crossed.

[16:02] A socialite masquerades as a notorious femme fatale to win back her straying husband, directed by Cecil B. DeMille.

[16:10] So I'm curious about Madam Satan.

[16:12] So it's the same plot as the song Your Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad.

[16:16] I suppose so.

[16:18] I don't know, but I will take your word for it.

[16:21] The next movie title is Manproof.

[16:26] Elliot, have you seen Man-proof?

[16:29] I also haven't seen Manproof.

[16:31] Elliot, would you like to make a guess about what Manproof is about?

[16:34] My guess is that a guy falls into a big open vat at a distillery, and his soul goes into the whiskey.

[16:42] And now he can control the bodies of the people who drink it, but for hilarious misadventures.

[16:48] It's like an episodic anthology movie.

[16:50] No, I'm afraid this is a movie that the synopsis given is a woman refuses to give up on the man she loves even after he marries someone else.

[16:59] And stars Myrna Loy, one of your favorites.

[17:02] Yeah, she's one of my favorites.

[17:03] What year is it from, does it say?

[17:06] I did these in vague chronological order other than the next one, which is the latest one.

[17:12] It's an early one.

[17:15] It sounds like more her.

[17:16] She was more of a bad girl.

[17:20] She got a lot of those roles early on before she became America's favorite wife.

[17:25] The queen of Hollywood, Hollywood's favorite wife later on.

[17:28] She's one of my favorites.

[17:30] She's great.

[17:31] There's a statue of her on the grounds of her old high school, and it was not put up in her honor because she was famous.

[17:37] It was just they were making a statue, and she posed for it when she was a teenager.

[17:42] And she's like – and it's a fairly – I don't know if I would say sexualized, but it's one of these kind of neoclassical-type statues where it's a woman.

[17:51] She represents the spirit of something, and she's in kind of like a diaphanous gown, I think.

[17:56] I just think it's very weird that, like, your classmates are walking around, and there's a statue of you, like, looking sexy basically on the grounds of the school.

[18:03] It's a strange thing to have happen.

[18:06] Well, this is the rich history of Hollywood.

[18:11] They were missing out, Stu.

[18:12] Their loss.

[18:13] Yeah, yeah.

[18:14] These are the sort of tales we get when I introduce classic Hollywood into the plop house.

[18:19] Although I'm surprised that Elliot hasn't seen any of these movies yet.

[18:23] There's a lot of movies.

[18:24] You mentioned two movies.

[18:25] There's thousands of movies out there.

[18:27] This one is later.

[18:30] This is I think the chronologically latest movie I'm going to mention.

[18:35] This is called The Yellow Rolls Royce.

[18:38] Oh, yeah.

[18:39] I know The Yellow Rolls Royce.

[18:40] Have you seen this one?

[18:41] Yeah.

[18:42] Stuart, would you like to guess and see whether –

[18:44] I got it.

[18:46] So a little kid is scared when an alien lands in his backyard, and that alien transforms into a car so it can pass undetected by human society.

[18:57] So they can make contact.

[18:58] So they can, I don't know, get some energon cubes to send back to the home planet of the transmorphers.

[19:10] So that – and the only thing it can transform into is what, a yellow Cadillac?

[19:15] Yeah, it's a yellow Cadillac.

[19:18] Even though it's called The Yellow Rolls Royce, that's how they throw you off.

[19:22] Yeah, it's a trick.

[19:23] That's the thing.

[19:24] The whole movie is a trick.

[19:26] Exactly.

[19:27] How close did you get, Elliot?

[19:28] That's the question.

[19:29] How close did I get?

[19:30] Is the whole movie a trick?

[19:31] I mean in a way the whole movie is a trick because it's not – it's a – I mentioned anthology movies before.

[19:37] This is an anthology movie.

[19:38] It's three different stories that all are different owners of the same Yellow Rolls Royce.

[19:42] And this is something that like in the 60s – this is a movie in the 60s.

[19:45] In the 60s, there was a fair number of those.

[19:49] It was a way of like relatively cheaply making some of these movies because you didn't need the cast as long because you had them in separate stories.

[19:57] It's something I think that came over from Europe I want to believe.

[20:00] and especially in Italy, there was like a fair number of anthology movies and

[20:04] in the Czech New Wave, there were some anthology, there's at least one

[20:07] very important anthology movie. So this is one, yes, like this yellow Rolls Royce

[20:12] passes through the different hands and each one is a different kind of story.

[20:15] And they're all pretty boring. And is the idea that they're like,

[20:19] do they try and disguise the fact that it's like multiple stories around this one thing?

[20:23] Like, no, no, no, not at all. It's very open. It's like, here's one story.

[20:27] Now we're on to the next story. Now it's not like a Gary Marshall type movie where it's

[20:32] essentially a bunch of different stories that are just kind of slammed into one holiday.

[20:36] You know, it's they're very much like chapter one, these people, chapter two,

[20:41] these people and chapter three, these people. Hope you enjoyed our film.

[20:45] The yellow Rolls Royce. Goodbye. I mean, that's not how they say it, but.

[20:49] I just watched I just watched Runaway Bride for the first time last night,

[20:52] which is a Gary Marshall movie, and it's just filled with people acting like fucking maniacs.

[21:00] I know they're trying to recapture the excitement of Pretty Woman.

[21:04] You got Richard Gere, you got Julia Roberts, you got Hector Elizondo.

[21:09] Yeah. And Marshall's lucky charm.

[21:13] But man, this it was kind of a kind of a whiff, even though it does have a young Chris Maloney

[21:18] and Joan Cusack, who gets to kind of be the pretty best friend.

[21:22] She's so great, even though really Adam's Family Values is the only movie where Hollywood's like,

[21:27] oh, wait a minute, Joan Cusack can be the hottest woman ever to live.

[21:30] Let's put her in this movie. I had so funny when I was young.

[21:34] I had such a crush on Christina Ricci as Wednesday because I was the same age as her.

[21:38] And then in Absolute Values, I was like, I am transferring to Joan Cusack.

[21:43] She is sexier and more evil than you.

[21:46] Way meaner.

[21:47] Way meaner. She's so openly mean to everybody.

[21:53] Speaking of mean, we got a mean bunch in this next title, it sounds like.

[22:00] Oh, it's called the Mean Bunch.

[22:01] The title is called Rough Riders Roundup.

[22:05] Are you familiar with Rough Riders Roundup?

[22:09] No, I'm not. That could be two different things.

[22:11] I mean, there could be three different things.

[22:13] If Pornhub is in the mix, that could be three different things.

[22:18] Why don't you give a shot of guessing what Rough Riders Roundup might be?

[22:22] I mean, I'm guessing it's probably a Western,

[22:25] but it could also be a historical film because Teddy Roosevelt's men were called the Rough

[22:29] Riders in the Spanish Civil War, in the Spanish-American War.

[22:33] But Teddy Roosevelt didn't fight in the Spanish Civil War.

[22:36] He was dead by then.

[22:37] But I'm guessing it's probably a Western.

[22:40] Anything with Roundup in the title is usually a Western.

[22:42] It is a Western.

[22:43] I'm not necessarily that surprised you haven't watched this because this is a Roy Rogers

[22:47] Western. You don't strike me as a cowboy series.

[22:51] The fast food proprietor.

[22:53] I grew up loving his fast food restaurant.

[22:54] There was Roy Rogers in my town.

[22:56] Went there regularly before I discovered Popeye's, which has better chicken than Roy Rogers.

[23:00] But yeah, I'm not a...

[23:01] Because you lived at the Edison, New Jersey rest stop.

[23:05] I did.

[23:05] Yeah, I was like Leonardo DiCaprio in Growing Pains.

[23:07] I lived in a broom closet.

[23:08] Nobody knew I was there.

[23:10] But as much as I love Westerns, as problematic a genre as they are, and I'm fully aware of

[23:16] that, the singing cowboy Westerns, the Roy Rogers and the Gene Autry, the kind of lighter

[23:21] series Westerns I never got into.

[23:23] Yeah.

[23:23] Well, speaking of series, light series, here's a title for you.

[23:28] The Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters.

[23:31] Have you seen that one?

[23:32] The Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters.

[23:33] No, that's not one of the Bowery Boys ones that I've seen.

[23:36] I've seen...

[23:36] I mean, it sounds like Bell Lugosi meets a Brooklyn Gorilla, which is kind of like a

[23:40] knockoff Martin and Lewis movie that Bell Lugosi's in.

[23:43] But I haven't seen the Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters.

[23:45] Yeah, the Bowery Boys, they're just...

[23:46] They live on the Bowery.

[23:48] That's their thing.

[23:49] Well, here's the thing about the Bowery Boys.

[23:52] They're an outgrowth of the Dead End kids.

[23:54] Now, Dead End, if you've never seen it, is a great movie about the ideas that a luxury

[24:01] high-rise has been built next to a bunch of slums.

[24:04] And the people are interacting.

[24:06] And there's a couple different stories.

[24:07] That one where it's not an anthology film, but there are different storylines of different

[24:10] characters, and that's based on a play.

[24:12] And a bunch of the kid characters in it, they were like, hey, we love these kid characters.

[24:18] We're going to spin them off and put them in more movies.

[24:20] And I'm trying to remember if they're the same kids who are in like Angels with Dirty

[24:24] Faces, the James Cagney movie, where he's a gangster who become...

[24:28] He and his old friend, who's a priest, are kind of like competing to see who can be the

[24:33] influence on this gang of street-tough kids.

[24:35] But it was like...

[24:36] Is that the movie from Home Alone?

[24:37] The one from Home Alone is called Angels with Dirty Souls.

[24:40] And the title is very much a takeoff.

[24:41] And it's also a fake gangster movie.

[24:43] But the real one is Angels with Dirty Faces.

[24:44] And Angels with Dirty Faces is a great movie, too.

[24:46] I mean, it looks like a real movie.

[24:47] Kevin McAllister is always watching it.

[24:49] He is always watching it.

[24:51] Somewhere online, there's an oral history of the shooting of the Angels with Dirty Souls

[24:56] segment that's in...

[24:57] Because it was at a time...

[24:58] It's probably on Dan's beloved YouTube.

[25:00] Yeah, there was a...

[25:02] That movie...

[25:03] Home Alone is old enough now that that was at a time when you could still get some of

[25:07] the older kind of style.

[25:10] I think they used some of the old equipment when they were shooting that.

[25:12] So it really does...

[25:13] They do a great job of replicating that look.

[25:14] But anyway, I think it was the Deadhead kids, some of them, like Leo Gorcey and Huntz Hall,

[25:20] they essentially had their own series where they became the Bowery Boys.

[25:24] Boys lived on the Bowery.

[25:25] And now we know the Bowery these days as a very trendy, very expensive neighborhood in

[25:30] Manhattan where there's a lot of boutique hotels.

[25:32] But the Bowery for most of the 20th century was one of the shittiest shitholes in New

[25:38] York.

[25:38] It's like...

[25:39] And if you ever see the movie On the Bowery, it's just about being a guy who has no home

[25:44] and has an alcohol problem and drifts onto the Bowery and lives on the mission there,

[25:49] which is still there.

[25:50] But the Bowery was shorthand for poor people with problems.

[25:55] You know, it's a place you don't want to be.

[25:56] So the Bowery Boys were like a wisecracking, lighthearted group of kids who lived in poverty.

[26:02] And eventually, they were doing all sorts of stuff like meeting monsters.

[26:04] So is Bill Legosi the monster in this?

[26:06] Or is that a different...

[26:07] I don't...

[26:08] Because I think the Bowery Boys do meet Dracula at some point.

[26:12] But I don't think he's in this.

[26:14] But here's the funny thing about the Bowery Boys meet the monsters.

[26:16] Now, the title is...

[26:17] They'd suggest that they meet monsters in it.

[26:19] And I haven't seen it.

[26:20] So perhaps they do meet monsters.

[26:22] I mean, if they meet people, people are the craziest monster, you know?

[26:26] But the description...

[26:27] Man is the most dangerous monster.

[26:29] Yeah.

[26:30] Bowery Boys meet the monsters.

[26:31] The description on the Turner Class movies app is the Bowery Boys battle a family of

[26:37] mad scientists.

[26:38] And the picture is one of the Bowery Boys, like, maybe dancing or struggling, I don't

[26:44] know which, with a big robot.

[26:47] So there's a very loose definition of what constitutes monster in this, if they're

[26:53] counting mad scientists and robots also as monsters.

[26:55] I mean, they have monstrous motives, I guess.

[26:59] I mean, they're monsters.

[27:00] And certainly, in the way that a human can be described as a monster, maybe that, but...

[27:05] Oh, so this is also...

[27:06] This is the Bowery...

[27:07] So I'm looking up some information now because I'm curious about it.

[27:09] This is the one...

[27:10] This movie is from 1954.

[27:11] So this is when the Bowery Boys were not even boys anymore.

[27:16] They were grown men who were still called the Bowery Boys, were having adventures and

[27:19] stuff like that.

[27:20] And I'm trying to remember...

[27:22] I don't think it's this one, but there's an old episode of David Letterman's NBC show

[27:27] where, at the very end, they brought out a guy who had memorized every line of dialogue

[27:32] in...

[27:33] It might have been this one, but it was some Bowery Boys movie that involved a monster

[27:37] of some kind.

[27:39] And he just...

[27:40] And he goes, and now as we go out this...

[27:42] But he doesn't describe the movie at all.

[27:43] He just stands there and recites the lines.

[27:45] It's like, hey, you guys heard about this new place?

[27:48] They're feeding boys for free.

[27:49] Yeah, let's go show up.

[27:51] Boy, this is some great spread.

[27:52] This is fantastic.

[27:53] I'm glad you boys are enjoying it.

[27:56] And then the episode fades out.

[27:58] That's the end of the episode.

[27:59] And somebody, please, listener, send me a link to it because I'd love to watch it again.

[28:03] Wow.

[28:05] I mean, I'm really...

[28:06] If only I dedicated my life to that.

[28:09] It's amazing.

[28:10] All the dialogue in a movie nobody else has seen or thought about.

[28:13] Yeah.

[28:14] So we've got one more in this event before we take our ad break.

[28:20] And that is this title.

[28:23] Elliot, have you seen?

[28:24] Do you know?

[28:25] A girl, a guy, and a gob.

[28:29] A gob?

[28:30] A gob.

[28:31] G-O-B.

[28:32] No, but is that like a Joey Brown movie or something like that?

[28:35] Uh, if it is, he is past the first to build.

[28:40] Okay, then it would have been.

[28:42] It sounds like one of those movies where it's just like a comedian who's under contract.

[28:46] And they're making a ton of movies.

[28:48] We spent a lot of time on this one.

[28:50] So I'm just going to tell you what it is.

[28:52] It's a stuffy boss tries to steal his secretary boss.

[28:56] Tries to steal the secretary from her sailor boyfriend.

[29:00] Starring George Murphy as Claudius J.

[29:02] Quote, coffee cup cup and Lucille Ball is dot Duncan.

[29:08] So there you go.

[29:09] Okay, sounds pretty good.

[29:12] His last name is cup and his middle name is coffee cup.

[29:17] Okay.

[29:18] If you can imagine such a thing, Elliot.

[29:21] I can't.

[29:23] But now we need to take a break from battle of the streaming networks for this word from

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[30:30] Sometimes I just don't have the stuff in my house that I need to make a full good meal

[30:36] And it's nice to know that like this comes all packaged together. You got it. It's very fresh ingredients

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[31:05] 65 and code to 65 for 60 percent 65 percent off plus free shipping

[31:13] Okay, and now that was a tie-in with with with flop 65 was a tie-in with the movie 65 that takes place

[31:21] 65 billion years ago. Is that what it's called 65?

[31:24] Yeah, that movie with Adam driver. He shoots dinos. Oh, that's coming. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that was called

[31:30] So not the old one where he shoots. Yeah, it's called 65

[31:33] I'm checking I'm checking your work. Oh, there it is 65. Yes. Yeah

[31:38] What a terrible name for a movie, you know, you know that someone in marketing someone at some what was like

[31:43] We'll call it 65

[31:45] We'll play off the Beatles song and it took them until the posters were printed in the movie was finished for the me like well

[31:49] That song is called when I'm 64 not when I'm 65 and they were like, oh, no. Oh, no, I

[31:55] Mean the thing is like just call it Adam Scott shoots dinos the trailer and I'm dry

[32:01] I said if it was Scott that would also be an ad driver

[32:04] I why not team up Adam driver and Adam Scott and the two

[32:10] And call it Adams

[32:13] shoot

[32:15] everything

[32:17] Parentheses mostly

[32:20] And in that movie Adam driver plays John Adams and Adam Scott plays John Quincy. Oh, yeah

[32:27] Yeah, so it's a father-son bonding hunting trip to his home

[32:30] Yeah, where they know when the president's discover the planet Earth and dinos to John's fucking crushed it

[32:38] Adams yeah, the movie's gonna come out people 65 million years ago

[32:44] Dinosaur movie. I'll never live up to my hopes now. Okay, and I had such high hopes for it

[32:49] Yeah, being caddy movie that you kind of learned about just now

[32:53] I mean

[32:54] It's a movie that I learned about

[32:55] The other day when I went to the movie theater and I saw the poster for it and I otherwise didn't know it existed

[33:00] Yeah, because you went to what a retrospective old-timey black-and-white shit. Oh, I wish it was a rainy day

[33:06] We went to the London town

[33:10] The only kids movie that was appropriate to both my kids was Marcel the shell with shoes on which is a very sweet cute

[33:15] Little movie it's kind of both both kids found it a little boring at times, but I enjoyed it

[33:21] The they really wanted to see the new Puss in Boots movie

[33:24] But I think that it might be a little too mature for my youngest

[33:27] That's something that a cool uncle Stewart would have taken them to yeah, exactly. Don't tell your parents. I'm taking you the Puss in Boots movie

[33:40] If you have trouble falling asleep

[33:42] Try sleeping with celebrities

[33:45] Tell me about your view of

[33:47] Succulents. I'm not a I'm not a huge fan. It's a different kind of sleep podcast

[33:52] There's some real benefits to parking illegally

[33:56] featuring remarkable guests and

[33:59] Unremarkable topics. There's two Orlando airports from the creator of depress mode with John Moe

[34:06] It's sleeping with celebrities

[34:09] every week on maximum fun

[34:12] Nighty night sleepyheads

[34:15] Hi, I'm Jesse Thorne the founder of maximum fun and I have a special announcement

[34:20] I'm no longer embarrassed by my brother my brother in me

[34:24] You know for years each new episode of this supposed advice show was a fresh insult a depraved

[34:32] jumble of

[34:33] erection jokes ghost humor and

[34:36] Frankly, this is for the best very little actionable advice

[34:40] But now as they enter their twilight years, I'm as surprised as anyone to admit that it's gotten kind of good

[34:47] Justin Travis and Griffin's witticisms are more refined like a humor column in a fancy magazine

[34:53] And they hardly ever say bazinga anymore

[34:57] So after you've completely finished listening to every single one of all of our other shows

[35:03] Why not join the McElroy brothers every week for my brother my brother in me?

[35:07] Hey

[35:10] Let's get back to the game

[35:13] Charming but uh, I just look I put some work into this this morning

[35:19] He's gonna be telling anecdotes about watching stuff. Yeah. Well, no, they say a lot notice Ellie. I didn't say a lot of work

[35:29] You totally missed use epic roast of you just now Dan, that's okay, that's fine. I'll hear it when I listen to the episode

[35:37] This was this this events called Batman bullshit, and it goes like this. And what is that clever title based off of?

[35:43] Well, there's a lot of Batman bullshit out there and thanks to HBO's

[35:47] HBO Max's DC hub you have access to all of it. So I'm gonna read for a bat

[35:54] I'm gonna read three Batman animated film titles to you and you guys have to guess which is the real one

[36:01] Two of these are fake

[36:02] One is real. I have a question when you say real one. Do you mean our EEL or our EAL?

[36:08] I mean good question

[36:12] Yeah, okay, so here are three titles only one is real

[36:18] Batman mystery of the Batwoman

[36:21] Batman crime crusher or Batman from the mixed-up files of mrs. Batman Eve Frank and battler I

[36:29] Think we can safely exclude that last one. Okay, I don't want to have to say it again

[36:36] I

[36:38] Mean Stu I saw your face light up when he said crime crusher. That's

[36:44] So, I think it's only one of these is real only one is real. Yeah

[36:48] El, yeah, and yeah returning to Stewart's commonly asked questions on this podcast. What is real?

[36:54] Yeah, is this real?

[36:57] Yeah, so

[37:00] I'm gonna say mystery of the Batwoman. Yes crime crusher, of course too beautiful for this world. That's also yeah

[37:07] It was like I don't I don't think it's real, but I love it so much that I want it to be real

[37:11] Okay, so here are a few more titles of some Batman bullshit out there

[37:16] This one is Batman bullshit in that Robin is a primary character. We have I'll buy it

[37:23] Yeah, the family doesn't exist on his own and unless that man invents him so yeah, here we go

[37:28] We got Teen Titans the Judas contract

[37:32] Real T Teen Titans the Scorpio sanction. I don't know Teen Titans the acne attack me

[37:41] Okay, so the real one is Teen Titans the Judas contract because that's the real story from the comics and I don't think Dan knows

[37:47] a damn thing about the Teen Titans comic

[37:49] Some

[37:51] Million some infinite monkeys at infinite typewriters a trick of a chance

[37:56] Different probability Dan somehow stumbled on a real Teen Titans thing. I'm gonna say that's the real one. I

[38:01] I really I'm really glad there wasn't one

[38:04] There was like Teen Titans the nemesis protocol because I'm like that sounds like every movie. Yeah

[38:10] Well, the Judas contract sounded like that same sort of bullshit to me, which is why I jumped out at me

[38:17] You know, unfortunately Elliot's

[38:21] comic knowledge real knowledge

[38:25] One of the defining stories the story of their betrayal by who I don't know I'm not gonna tell you oh no

[38:33] Who are the Teen Titans who's in that group?

[38:36] I mean it changes but the your classic lineup is the idea originally was that it was the sidekick characters

[38:41] So it was like Robin Wonder Girl

[38:43] The kid flash

[38:46] Aqualad, you know that kind of stuff but then over time then there's a new Teen Titans and they brought in like Starfire cyborg Raven

[38:53] Changeling also known as Beast Boy. So what about uh, isn't like Lobo's daughter in that group? That's the newest Teen Titans

[39:01] Yes

[39:01] It's like we're Lobo's daughter as a member and also I think quiver who's a Green Arrow character is in there and Robin and it's

[39:07] The Robin that that is part of that is not the original Robin

[39:10] But is I think the Damian Wayne Robin Bruce Wayne's son with Talia the daughter of Rhys Al Ghul

[39:15] So, uh, there's some I wrote this look at you know

[39:18] What if anyone's more interested in these in these newer Teen Titans characters pick up?

[39:21] Are you afraid of the dark side number one a comic that I wrote the framing pages for for DC last year?

[39:27] Where each of the care each of the Titans is telling a scary story about something. I looked up the

[39:33] Judas was in the Judas thing and it

[39:35] Yeah, it had no impact on me because I don't know who that is, yeah, um, okay, his name's booster gold

[39:42] So here here's a another trio of names we've got daughter of Batman

[39:49] son of Batman

[39:52] Batman's personal injury lawyer Larry

[39:57] I mean

[40:00] Could be the last one seeing as there's a TV show called Pennyworth, the origin of Batman's

[40:03] butler.

[40:04] Exactly.

[40:05] But Stuart, do you want to take a crack at this one?

[40:08] Yeah, I'll do Son of Batman.

[40:11] Yes.

[40:12] It is Son of Batman.

[40:13] And since, as I mentioned previously, Batman has a son.

[40:16] Batman gets around, okay, we've got another.

[40:20] I mean, he has one son.

[40:21] I mean, you only have to get around once to do that.

[40:24] That's true.

[40:25] It's more than me.

[40:26] The same amount as Lobo, apparently.

[40:29] That Lobo knows of.

[40:30] Now, is Lobo married, or is his daughter a bastard?

[40:35] I don't know that I want to use the same terminology that Lobo might use, but no, I believe this

[40:41] is Lobo's illegitimate daughter.

[40:43] I think he denies parentage, he denies paternity, because Lobo is a jerk.

[40:47] We have.

[40:48] But she's born with, like, chains and hooks and shit, right?

[40:51] I mean, she uses them.

[40:52] I don't know if she was born with them.

[40:55] I think he's just mad because if she's around, then he's no longer the last Czarnian, you

[40:58] know?

[40:59] Yeah, he's no longer the main man.

[41:00] Yeah.

[41:01] He was never the main man.

[41:02] He just calls himself that.

[41:03] I mean, Lobo is essentially like, what if Wolverine was a huge asshole?

[41:07] I know.

[41:09] He's awesome.

[41:10] Okay.

[41:11] Dan.

[41:12] Now, the next trio of titles is, you ready for this?

[41:18] Here it comes.

[41:19] Yeah.

[41:20] Berserker Batman, Batman Ninja, a Batman, a Batplan, a Bat Canal, Bat Panama.

[41:29] Okay.

[41:30] Interesting.

[41:31] I think Bat Ninja is the real one.

[41:35] That would be my guess, too.

[41:36] Unless Berserker Batman is some kind of Elseworlds type story where it's like, oh, a Viking wears

[41:41] a bat skin, you know, cape made out of bat skin and becomes a bat character in fights.

[41:45] So I would say probably.

[41:46] That's a lot of bats to make a cape made out of bat skin.

[41:49] Yeah.

[41:50] They're very small.

[41:51] And you're not using the wings either.

[41:52] Or are you?

[41:53] Are you just using the wings?

[41:54] I'm sure you would.

[41:55] Because if you're using the wings and the fur, it's pretty patchy.

[41:58] I think you would have to use the wings because if it's just the fur, like, oh, that's so

[42:01] many pelts you would need for a whole, like, robe or what did you say?

[42:04] Like a cloak?

[42:05] Like a cloak.

[42:06] Yeah.

[42:07] Yeah.

[42:08] Well, you want the wings because they got all those sick veins.

[42:09] Yeah.

[42:10] All those little fingers.

[42:13] And just like Bill Finger, co-creator of Batman.

[42:16] Yeah.

[42:17] It's Batman Ninja.

[42:18] You got it.

[42:19] Okay.

[42:20] Oh, great.

[42:21] Good.

[42:22] Last one in this category.

[42:23] Dan is so dreading that he came up with this category.

[42:24] He doesn't realize how much talking there is going to be between each question.

[42:26] Yeah.

[42:27] Like, this was supposed to be the fast one in this second half of the show.

[42:31] Like, I'm like, oh, I'll have one that's just silly, and then I'll have one that's yellow

[42:34] marked.

[42:35] Well, you shouldn't have brought up Lobo then.

[42:37] So, final grouping, we got Superman, Batman, Public Enemies, Superman V. Batman, Fight

[42:44] to the Finish, or Superman Just Punches Batman into Outer Space.

[42:50] Well, that last one probably isn't it, although it technically is correct, I guess.

[42:56] It seems like the one that should happen, but probably wouldn't.

[43:01] Wait.

[43:02] So, it's Batman, Superman, Public Enemies, or Batman V. Superman, Fight to the Finish.

[43:11] I'm going to go with Public Enemies.

[43:14] I think I'm going to go with Fight to the Finish, and maybe we'll get a half point,

[43:16] depending on who's right.

[43:18] It's Public Enemies.

[43:19] I assume that that means that they are enemies of the state.

[43:27] I think it would be funnier to imagine that they're very specifically Public Enemies,

[43:32] not Private Enemies.

[43:33] In private, they're friends.

[43:34] It's like, you know, they're keeping Kayfabe, but they're enemies in public, and then in

[43:38] private, they're like best buds.

[43:40] Okay, so let's move on quickly to the final category, which I am realizing I didn't write

[43:48] a clever name for, but it goes like this.

[43:52] That's what your improv training's all about.

[43:55] Yeah, I'll call it Original Sins, Original Sins, because it goes like this.

[44:02] All of the big streaming services have their, quote, original section.

[44:07] Sometimes these are movies that were actually funded by the services.

[44:10] Sometimes they're just indie or foreign films the services have slapped their names on.

[44:14] Sometimes they don't have any stars, and sometimes they have big name Hollywood talent, but they

[44:19] have all one thing in common, and that's that they get dumped to streaming with little

[44:24] or no promotion.

[44:26] So this round asks just one thing.

[44:29] Do you know anything about the following real streaming original movies?

[44:36] Points for any verifiably true facts about any of these movies.

[44:39] You have to be able to verify them, okay, that makes it harder.

[44:43] Bonus points if you can tell me if it's on Apple Plus, on Netflix, or on Hulu.

[44:48] They're all from one of those.

[44:49] Okay.

[44:50] These are all originals, quote, unquote, from those services.

[44:53] So you don't have to worry about like any Roku originals or anything like that.

[44:56] No, no, no.

[44:57] Okay, so this first movie is titled...

[44:59] There's only like one of those, right, and it's The Weird Eye?

[45:01] I think it's just weird, yeah.

[45:03] Yeah.

[45:04] This movie is titled...

[45:05] Too bad, because I could have told him something about that.

[45:08] This movie is titled simply Dads.

[45:12] Have you heard about this movie?

[45:13] Do you know what this movie is?

[45:14] Oh, it's a movie called Dads.

[45:16] Yeah, D-A-D-A-D-S.

[45:17] Yeah, because we know it's a movie called Dads.

[45:20] Dads.

[45:21] I'm going to guess it's on Netflix.

[45:22] Anything else about Dads?

[45:23] I'm going to say Hulu.

[45:24] I'm going to guess Kevin Hart is in it.

[45:25] Yeah, I also was going to guess Kevin Hart was in it, to be honest.

[45:39] Well, you know what?

[45:42] That man may show up at a later point.

[45:44] I'm not going to confirm or deny, but you can probably confirm it.

[45:48] So it's possible Jackie Chan is in it.

[45:50] Dan doesn't know.

[45:51] We all know he has Jackie Chan blindness.

[45:52] This movie, Dads, is actually, I'm sorry, you both got it wrong, on Apple Plus.

[45:57] This movie is the only documentary I will mention.

[46:00] It is a documentary described as a, quote, joyful exploration of modern fatherhood.

[46:06] This doc gathers the testimonies of dads around the world, from famous comedians to everyday

[46:12] parents.

[46:13] Like Kevin Hart, famous comedians?

[46:14] This is by Bryce Dallas Howard.

[46:15] Oh, BDH.

[46:16] My old college friends.

[46:17] Partner.

[46:18] Spouse.

[46:19] I love Bryce Dallas Howard.

[46:20] I do not want to listen to dads give testimonies about dads, especially when one of them on

[46:21] the autoplay was Jimmy Fallon, I'm sure.

[46:22] But Dan, your name is so close to the name Dad.

[46:23] It's great.

[46:24] It's great.

[46:25] It's great to be a dad.

[46:26] Yeah, it's true.

[46:27] What if it was called Dads?

[46:28] Now, what if it was called Dads?

[46:29] I would probably watch it in that case.

[46:30] It would be like, these are the Daves I know, but it would be with Dads.

[46:45] Okay.

[46:46] Do you know anything about this film?

[46:47] Are you familiar with it at all?

[46:48] Have you heard anything?

[46:49] Do you know about...

[46:50] We don't know what the title is yet.

[46:51] About...

[46:52] Vacation Friends.

[47:00] Yes.

[47:01] Oh, yeah.

[47:02] John Hulu, John Cena.

[47:03] Man, who else is in that shit?

[47:04] Is it Kevin Hart?

[47:05] It's got a stack.

[47:06] No, not...

[47:07] No.

[47:08] It's got a good cast.

[47:09] Lil Ray Howery.

[47:10] Lil Ray Howery.

[47:11] I knew it was a comedian.

[47:12] Also, Meredith Hackner's in it, who I really like from Search Party.

[47:13] She's very funny.

[47:14] Uh-huh.

[47:15] Yeah, this is one of the bigger ones.

[47:16] I did see a little bit about Vacation Friends.

[47:17] But it also seems like...

[47:18] Wow.

[47:19] Wow.

[47:20] Wow.

[47:21] Wow.

[47:22] Wow.

[47:23] Wow.

[47:24] Wow.

[47:25] Wow.

[47:26] Wow.

[47:27] Wow.

[47:28] I was like, wow, movies can just disappear down a hole.

[47:32] The premise of the movie, a kind of uptight couple goes on vacation.

[47:36] They bump into a crazy couple and those...

[47:39] They have a lot of fun and they get wasted and everything.

[47:42] But then after the vacation, that crazy couple follows them.

[47:45] Yeah.

[47:46] You got it.

[47:47] Is that exactly what it is?

[47:48] I wasn't sure if it was that or that, like, they become friends with spies or something

[47:51] like that.

[47:52] You know?

[47:53] I mean, they could be spies.

[47:54] We don't know.

[47:55] I'm sure at some point in development, they considered it when they're like, well, we

[47:57] have John Cena.

[47:59] Yeah.

[48:00] He is the most espionage friendly actor we could think of.

[48:02] Because there was a movie like that that came out, right, where it was like a couple makes

[48:06] friends with another couple and they're either like spies or something, you know?

[48:09] Yeah.

[48:10] It was like Keeping Up With The Joneses or something.

[48:13] Yeah.

[48:14] Whatever.

[48:15] And it was Jon Hamm and Gal Gadot as the, like, super spies next door.

[48:19] That's right.

[48:20] And they like, I don't know, go to a fucking Dave and Busters and do other suburbian shit.

[48:26] That's what you do in suburbia.

[48:28] Go to Dave and Busters.

[48:29] That's all you can do.

[48:30] Go to Dave and Busters, go to one of those places where they put you in, like, a wind

[48:32] tunnel or whatever, and you put on a suit and you get to float around.

[48:36] Is that a thing?

[48:37] I think that happens in that movie.

[48:39] I know, but is that a thing that people do in the suburbs?

[48:42] I don't know.

[48:43] I don't live in the suburbs, dude.

[48:44] I'm fucking cool.

[48:45] Now that I'm in the suburbs, there's nothing to do except go to those wind tunnels.

[48:48] Wow.

[48:49] Jeez Louise.

[48:50] I mean, it's not unfair.

[48:51] I'm just trying to unwrap the facemail.

[48:52] That's what I'm trying to do.

[48:53] I'm doing a real heel turn on this episode.

[48:57] Yeah.

[48:59] Okay, this movie is titled The Man from Toronto.

[49:03] Have you met this man?

[49:05] He's from Toronto.

[49:06] What else might you know about him?

[49:08] Anything?

[49:09] I feel like I saw a thumbnail of this on a streaming screen.

[49:14] Tell me about The Man from Toronto.

[49:16] I know it's not.

[49:17] He's not a man named Otto.

[49:19] That's a different movie about a man.

[49:21] He's not the hundred-year-old man who climbed out a window or whatever it's called.

[49:25] Nope.

[49:26] It's not my Uncle Boonmee who can recall his past lives.

[49:30] Yeah.

[49:31] Went up a hill and came down a mountain.

[49:32] Wait, is the man Uncle Boonmee?

[49:34] Is he from Toronto?

[49:36] Could be.

[49:38] Let's see.

[49:39] It's not a...

[49:40] It's not the man of the moon.

[49:41] He's not the family man or the weather man.

[49:45] It's not the man who knew too little nor the man who knew too much.

[49:48] He's not a matchstick man.

[49:50] He's not an Iron Man, an Iron Man 2 or an Iron Man 3.

[49:53] Not the Mandalorian.

[49:57] Not a Dan in real life.

[50:00] life. Not on Manitoure. Not the Dandelorian. Dandelorian. Now, okay. Okay. Listeners, don't

[50:09] bother looking up for that link to the guy on the Letterman show. You gotta Photoshop

[50:12] the Dandelorian right now. And Stu is Baby Yoda. It's gotta be. Wait, what? I think of

[50:19] the two of us, you're both more popular and, no offense, smaller than me. Not cute enough.

[50:26] The cutest flopper has to be the cutest little Baby Yoda. And which one of us is always just

[50:31] taking things and sticking food in our mouth? That's actually true. So I'll tell you a little

[50:38] bit something about the man from Toronto. He's either Kevin Hart or Woody Harrelson.

[50:43] I don't know which of them. Right. Yeah. Okay. Now I'm reminded. I watched like five minutes

[50:48] of this movie. The world's deadliest assassin and New York's biggest screw-up are mistaking

[50:53] for each other at an Airbnb rental. The man from Toronto. I think we watched the first

[51:03] five minutes of it to figure out the, to understand the premise. And then we're like, nope. So

[51:09] moving into the vaguely uplifting sounding title section. I feel good. I feel good that

[51:16] at least there was a Kevin Hart movie on there. When Stuart and I immediately jumped on Kevin

[51:20] Hart earlier. You were right. You were right to do so. But now into the, there's a brief

[51:26] sort of themed section of vaguely uplifting sounding things. Excellent. This title. Do

[51:32] you know anything about the sky is everywhere? The sky is everywhere. I don't know. That's

[51:42] not the one with George Clooney where he's astronauts are coming back to a virus earth.

[51:47] No. And I will say, uh, before, you know, like I I'm making fun of the title, but, uh,

[51:53] it auto-played the trailer for this. And I was like, Oh, this actually looks kind of

[51:58] interesting. Like I, it has a good look to it. It was directed by a woman who has made

[52:02] a movie I liked before. Um, but, uh, it, uh, it's from the director of Shirley, Josephine

[52:10] Decker. Oh, okay. Oh, I know something about this movie. It's from the director of Shirley.

[52:14] Yeah. He get a point for that. No, no scope right there, baby. Uh, here's what I can tell

[52:19] you about this movie. Lenny is a teen musical prodigy grieving the death of her sister when

[52:24] she finds herself caught between a new guy at school and her sister's devastated boyfriend.

[52:29] It looked like there was like a lot of dancing in it. A lot of colorful, uh, costumes starring

[52:35] Grace Kaufman, Sherry Jones, Sherry Jones, not Sherry Jones, sorry. Cherry Jones and

[52:40] Jason Segel. Yeah. More Sherry Jones on this podcast. And, uh, here's a, here's another

[52:50] title for you. It's, it's called the ultimate playlist of noise. The ultimate playlist of

[52:58] noise. Oh, okay. That last one was an apple plus by the way. Apple plus. That sounds like

[53:03] an apple plus movie. The last one. So this sounds like the opposite of another apple plus movie

[53:11] Coda. Uh, distinct absence of noise in Coda as it dealt with hearing loss, you know? Yeah. Well,

[53:20] you're onto something here. So I'll tell you, uh, cause this, this description made me angry

[53:26] when I heard it and I want to, I'm curious to see if it has the same effect on you guys.

[53:31] And he reads the description and it's Dan's a jerk. What a dick. And I'm like,

[53:34] yeah, it doesn't bother me. I think it's fine. Just kidding, Dan. That would make me mad if I

[53:39] saw that description somewhere. Yeah. Someone else said it. Um, anyway, after learning he must

[53:45] undergo brain surgery that will render him deaf. Marcus, an audio obsessed high school senior

[53:52] decides to seize control of his fate by recording the ultimate playlist of noise,

[53:57] a bucket list of all his favorite sounds. What? That sounds rough guys. Dyer sounding.

[54:05] Yeah. They somehow took the joy out of the sound of metal. Interesting.

[54:11] Fairly joyless. I didn't really recognize anyone involved in this except for, uh, the name Madeline

[54:17] Brewer, uh, who I think was in cam anyway. Oh yeah. I'm not familiar with it. That was on,

[54:24] that was on Hulu. So, okay. We've only got, so he's got, he's, he's, he's recording sounds to

[54:29] like listen to them before he loses his hearing. That's part of what I don't understand. Like,

[54:33] I guess this is like just his gift to the world as he is like, these are the sounds I used to like,

[54:39] I don't know now it's just a sound that I used to listen to them afterwards. No, I don't know.

[54:48] It reminds me a little bit of a, we are your friends where he like, he uses the real audio

[54:52] of his friends being depressed and all of the other stuff around him and turns it into a, just

[54:57] a jam, just a raw EDM jam. Yeah. Yeah. Just come, just go check out the flop house episode on that

[55:03] movie. Uh, perfect. Okay. I've got, there's, uh, there's three more here I'm going to, uh,

[55:10] go through. It's, uh, the first, the first one is day shift. Have you heard anything about day

[55:14] shift? You know, I haven't seen it, but I do know that, uh, Scott Adkins is in it. So, uh,

[55:20] I think it has something to do with fighting vampires. It's like vampire hunters who operate

[55:24] during the day. Maybe Jamie Foxx is in it. Yeah. Someone else there's like a young guy in it. Uh,

[55:29] yeah, that's true. Like Jack Quaid or like a Jack Quaid type. Uh, I, I would say you're not

[55:37] a million miles away. It's Dave Franco. Dave Franco. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah,

[55:43] this was a bigger one, but I thought maybe there was a chance that you didn't know anything about

[55:49] it because of Scott Adkins. Yeah. Yeah. That's a Netflix one. Okay. Here's one.

[55:54] I mean, I'm going to have to see the fucking like 10 hour John wick for movie and it just because

[56:00] for some reason they cast Scott Adkins and put them in like a fat suit, which is wild, but like,

[56:06] okay, it's probably going to be better than the whale. Here's one for you. It's called

[56:12] chicken hair and the hamster of darkness. Are you, are you, do you know anything about

[56:18] chicken hair and the hamster? I'm guessing that it's a children's movie, but I could be

[56:24] wrong about that. It sounds like a children's movie. This is a, uh, this is a computer animated

[56:31] co-production between Belgium, France and the U S yeah. It has that title has that field.

[56:36] As such, I did not recognize anyone involved in it. Uh, but it follows a young hero born

[56:42] half chicken and half hair eager to fit in and feel loved in spite of his differences.

[56:47] He's obsessed by adventuring in spite of his clumsiness. Yep. Record all of his favorite

[56:54] sounds for us. Yeah. So if you want to see this half chicken, half hair, I assume some sort of,

[57:03] horrific monstrosity fight. I mean, you say that it's probably gorgeous looking. I don't know.

[57:09] I feel like I, the European animation often has character designs that I find unpleasant,

[57:14] you know, as, as the animation itself often in which, which streamer had this one,

[57:20] that was Netflix. Okay. So yeah. Yeah. Not as exciting. Yeah. This is maybe more the Pinocchio

[57:28] true story level of European animation, not the like triplets of Belleville level of European

[57:33] animation. Yeah. Okay. So one last in this category, Raymond and Ray, do you know the

[57:40] story of two gentlemen? One by the name of Raymond one by the name of Ray. Does this

[57:45] they're linked together by Jamie Foxx and Ray Romano and it's his character from every lives

[57:50] Raymond meeting Ray Charles, Raymond and Ray. What could one say about Raymond and Ray

[57:58] are you James Patterson advertising your new murder thriller, Raymond and Ray.

[58:06] Oh man, I love that dude. There's nothing in the rule book that says a fucking author can't make

[58:11] his own commercial. Nope. And look, he says, he's like, that's why my book sell. Cause of

[58:16] my great commercials. All right. Okay. Fucking rocks. Well, I chose this one to end on because

[58:22] it is a movie with two major with two major stars actually. And Alpha Centauri

[58:39] I recognize, although I'm not really sure why Rodrigo Garcia. This is a half brothers,

[58:49] Raymond and Ray reunite when their estranged father dies and discover that his final wish

[58:55] was for them to dig his grave. And this film guys stars, Ethan Hawke and Ewan McGregor,

[59:01] Ethan Hawke and Ewan McGregor together in a picture that no one I presume has ever heard of

[59:08] because you two guys who are equally obsessed with nonsense as me have not heard of it.

[59:15] Nope. Have you not heard of this one? Is that why you picked it? You're like, Oh,

[59:19] I had heard of it, but I think it was in the context of what is this movie with

[59:25] Ethan Hawke and Ewan McGregor getting dumped to Apple plus, uh, presumably plays the father.

[59:31] Does it say, uh, let's see, let's look at it. It sounds like a juicy part for an older actor,

[59:37] like a Nick Nolte type or, uh, yeah, yeah. I mean, he's dead in the James Cromwell film,

[59:42] I believe, but maybe you see him in flashback. Of course you see him in flashbacks. Yeah,

[59:46] definitely. That's like saying, being like Richard Jenkins isn't in six feet under.

[59:50] And you're like, I know he's dead at the beginning, but you see his ass in flashbacks,

[59:53] like the whole show, he just shows up as a ghost talking to them. Yeah. Let's see. I don't see who

[1:00:00] I think they did that so they could get out of paying his SAG dues.

[1:00:05] Oh, but I'm not in this.

[1:00:07] I don't have to pay dues.

[1:00:08] I'm a character's dad.

[1:00:09] Technically, I'm a ghost.

[1:00:10] I'm a ghost.

[1:00:11] Don't owe SAG dues.

[1:00:12] Or are you going to go get done Errol Flynn for his SAG money now?

[1:00:15] Anyway, I'll see you later.

[1:00:16] I got to go make the visitor.

[1:00:18] Todd Luiso is in it.

[1:00:20] You remember him from High Fidelity?

[1:00:21] You got Vondie Curtis Hall also in the sporting role.

[1:00:24] Some great actors.

[1:00:26] Oscar Nunez from The Office shows up.

[1:00:29] Yeah, so listeners, write in.

[1:00:31] Have you watched any of these?

[1:00:33] Are we being jerks?

[1:00:34] Are they all super good?

[1:00:35] Maybe they're worth watching.

[1:00:36] They could be.

[1:00:37] I'm making no claims for the quality.

[1:00:38] As I said, that one that I looked at, I laughed at the title, but it looked pretty good and

[1:00:44] the reviews looked pretty good.

[1:00:45] So I might actually check it out.

[1:00:47] We're living in this weird world now where the way you and me and Stu grew up.

[1:00:50] We didn't have YouTubes or whatever.

[1:00:52] We didn't have streamers.

[1:00:53] We grew up at a time when if a movie was worthy of being watched, you'd expect it to be released

[1:00:58] in theaters.

[1:00:59] And if it was not worthy of being watched, you'd expect it to go to direct-to-video.

[1:01:02] And there were some exceptions to both.

[1:01:03] I mean, many exceptions to the movies released in theaters, but some exceptions, there were

[1:01:06] direct-to-video movies.

[1:01:07] There were some that were good.

[1:01:08] But now, since almost no movies except the biggest of the bigs get released in theaters

[1:01:14] now, there's no way of knowing.

[1:01:18] Just because something's dumped on a streamer doesn't mean it's bad.

[1:01:20] Whereas before, if it was dumped on video, you pretty much could tell it wasn't going

[1:01:24] to be that good.

[1:01:25] Especially, like, I grew up in a smaller market, too, so there was even fewer things coming

[1:01:29] out in theaters.

[1:01:30] So there'd be stuff showing up at my local video store, which was inside my grocery store,

[1:01:35] that I would be like, oh, wow, Deep Star 6, this looks great.

[1:01:38] Or I'd find out about movies because they would just be left out on the railroad tracks

[1:01:43] next to hobo pornography.

[1:01:44] Yeah.

[1:01:45] Now, is this pornography hobos would use, or it's hobo-themed pornography?

[1:01:49] It's kind of a mix, honestly.

[1:01:51] Oh, OK.

[1:01:52] Yeah.

[1:01:53] If I'm making a point with...

[1:01:55] Let's see what's in Barely Covering His Foot Shoes this month.

[1:01:59] Oh, wow.

[1:02:00] This is some hot hobo porn.

[1:02:03] Let me just go to Gentleman's Barrel Fire.

[1:02:08] The loosest top hat tops there are.

[1:02:11] Yeah, yeah.

[1:02:12] Honey's dragging a bindle.

[1:02:13] Yeah.

[1:02:14] I didn't see the last issue of Big Beans, but there's some hot stuff in it.

[1:02:21] No, if I'm making any point at all, it's that if, you know, like some of these movies presumably

[1:02:27] are worth someone's time, if there's anything good about them, like, I wish that streamers

[1:02:34] would put some more effort into getting the word out there.

[1:02:38] As someone who worked on two shows for Netflix that received almost no promotion at all.

[1:02:43] Yeah.

[1:02:44] I wish that I wish that streamers kind of like believed in promoting anything other

[1:02:48] than the biggest thing that they have.

[1:02:51] It feels like Netflix's ad budget every year.

[1:02:53] They're like, what's the one movie we're promoting this year?

[1:02:56] Bright.

[1:02:57] OK.

[1:02:58] Promote the shit out of it.

[1:02:59] Like, what's the one movie we're doing?

[1:03:00] Red Notice?

[1:03:01] Sure.

[1:03:02] Yeah, exactly.

[1:03:03] It's Glass Onions, the movie this year.

[1:03:04] OK.

[1:03:05] Let's make sure everyone in the world knows what Glass Onion is and we'll ignore all the

[1:03:07] other movies that we're putting out.

[1:03:09] So.

[1:03:10] Yeah.

[1:03:11] Well, anyway, that was a bizarrely serious note to end this.

[1:03:14] Dan, I want to apologize.

[1:03:17] Everything worked out the way you wanted to.

[1:03:18] The Batman round took for it took a long time.

[1:03:20] We didn't have fun at the end.

[1:03:21] We felt bad about slagging on these movies that we've never heard of and decided to get

[1:03:25] serious for a moment.

[1:03:26] This was we how can we make this up to you, Dan?

[1:03:29] How do we make it?

[1:03:30] No, no, no.

[1:03:31] This is this is classic Flophouse, guys.

[1:03:34] This is the message that we are sending out into the world is it's possible to, you know,

[1:03:40] sort of pan for gold, like get some beauty out of the the sloppiest, least sort of, you

[1:03:49] know, going to plan things you can imagine.

[1:03:53] And that's that's what life is, everyone.

[1:03:56] That's what I can't believe you wrote that whole speech out ahead of time.

[1:04:01] I know.

[1:04:02] Well, I had it on my hand, so some of the words got smudged.

[1:04:06] Yeah.

[1:04:07] But it gets much because of the soup spilled on your hand.

[1:04:10] Well, it's just pouring the soup over his hand, which is a strange thing to do.

[1:04:17] Yeah.

[1:04:18] I mean, it was Gaspacho.

[1:04:19] So at least I wasn't burning myself.

[1:04:20] Oh, yeah.

[1:04:21] Thank goodness.

[1:04:22] We were trying to figure out all the Gaspacho lumps to do it to do it by hand, like in the

[1:04:29] old country.

[1:04:30] That's a that's, you know, the rich cultural tradition.

[1:04:37] We have lost all those Gaspacho trainers used to be.

[1:04:41] You could raise a family on a Gaspacho training job and now the craft.

[1:04:45] It's like there's that type of noodle where to make it, you have to like you straddle

[1:04:50] a huge rolling pin and you bounce up and down on it.

[1:04:53] And I remember watching a TV show and they're like, yeah, men don't want to do that.

[1:04:56] Men don't want to learn this craft anymore because it makes you impotent.

[1:04:58] And I'm like, yeah, that makes sense to me.

[1:05:04] OK, well, that was a beautiful story.

[1:05:10] Let's leave it there.

[1:05:11] Thank you to Maximum Fun.

[1:05:12] Go to Maximum Fun.org for other great podcasts on the Max Fun Network.

[1:05:16] Thank you to our producer, Alex Smith.

[1:05:19] You can find him on various socials as HowlDotty.

[1:05:22] He does music.

[1:05:23] He does a lot of his own videos.

[1:05:25] Look him up.

[1:05:26] But that's us.

[1:05:27] The Flophouse for this week.

[1:05:30] I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:05:31] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:05:33] And I'm Ellie Kalin.

[1:05:34] I want to know what those fucking noodles taste like.

[1:05:44] Maximum Fun.org, comedy and culture, artist owned, audience supported.

FH Mini 75 - Battle of the Streaming Networks

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