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FH Mini 82 – Tuboy Talkin' Tube to 2 Dudes Today, Yes Way 2
Transcript
Stuart Wellington
[0:00]
Hey there!
[0:05]
Clear out those ear holes,
[0:06]
because we've got another Flophouse Mini
[0:08]
for you to stick in your ear holes.
[0:12]
So, okay, because we have a mini.
Elliott Kalan
[0:15]
Clear them out to stick something else in.
[0:17]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[0:18]
You need to make space for this.
Stuart Wellington
[0:20]
Yeah, clear out, make some room.
[0:21]
Okay, so this is a Flophouse Mini.
[0:23]
It's a mini episode of the normally long Flophouse podcast
[0:27]
where we watch a bad movie and talk about it,
[0:29]
but instead on one of these minis,
[0:30]
we're going to spend slightly less time
[0:31]
talking about whatever we want.
[0:33]
And tonight we're going to be talking about,
[0:35]
we're going to be doing another episode
[0:37]
of one of my favorite and one of your favorite shows.
[0:39]
That's right.
[0:40]
We're doing a little bit of Two Boy
[0:42]
talking tube to two dudes today.
[0:44]
Yes way!
[0:46]
Okay.
[0:47]
Okay, indeed.
[0:49]
Dan has given you verbal consent to appear in this mini.
[0:53]
So, if this is your first time checking out
[0:56]
one of these episodes,
[0:57]
Two Boy talking tube to two dudes today,
[0:59]
yes way!
[0:59]
Is where me, Stuart,
[1:01]
aka Two Boy,
[1:03]
is going to be talking about tube,
[1:04]
that's right, television,
[1:06]
to two dudes.
[1:07]
Which two?
[1:07]
These two, Dan and Elliot.
[1:09]
Oh, okay.
[1:10]
And we're doing it during the day
[1:11]
because we recorded this one during the day
[1:13]
instead of tonight.
[1:14]
And yes way!
[1:14]
Because we need some confirmation here.
[1:16]
We need some excitement.
[1:17]
So, before we get into the meat of this sandwich,
[1:21]
while we're still on top of the bread.
[1:23]
Just hang on the bread.
[1:24]
We're on top of the bread or we're in the bread?
Dan McCoy
[1:26]
This represents the bread or we're on top of the bread?
[1:28]
We're on top of the bread.
[1:29]
I'm on top of the bread looking down on the meat.
Elliott Kalan
[1:33]
And the only thing I eat.
Dan McCoy
[1:34]
That's some fast shit.
[1:36]
What are you, Weird Al Yankovic?
Elliott Kalan
[1:37]
They call him Speed Al Yankovic.
[1:41]
He's even faster than Weird Al.
[1:42]
Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[1:43]
So, like, imagine...
[1:45]
They call him Weird Speed Levitch
[1:46]
because Speed Levitch is a weird guy.
Dan McCoy
[1:48]
The songs aren't quite as polished or funny, perhaps,
[1:52]
but what do you want?
[1:53]
I did them right away.
[1:55]
Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[1:56]
Yeah, you can have it fast, good,
[1:58]
or what's the other possible thing?
[2:01]
Out of control.
[2:02]
Or cheap.
[2:03]
Yeah, yeah.
[2:04]
You got it fast and cheap.
Elliott Kalan
[2:06]
This reminds me of Dan's hit song,
[2:08]
Live in La Vida Roku,
[2:10]
which had no lyrics.
Stuart Wellington
[2:13]
Yeah, I gave up after that.
[2:14]
Oh, man, the video's just the fucking Roku City backdrop.
[2:19]
Well, real quick,
[2:20]
while we're still on top of the bread of this sandwich...
[2:22]
I forgot where we were.
[2:25]
Thank you for reestablishing that.
[2:26]
Oh, man.
[2:27]
Yeah, it's almost seasoned.
[2:28]
Thank you for building that we're on a sandwich.
[2:31]
Services turned on.
[2:32]
Yeah, so, yeah, yeah.
[2:34]
Location exterior sandwich.
Elliott Kalan
[2:36]
I'm looking at a picture of a sandwich.
[2:37]
It says,
[2:38]
you are here,
[2:38]
and it's pointing to the top of the bread.
[2:40]
Great.
Stuart Wellington
[2:41]
So, before we get into this sandwich,
[2:43]
I just want to point out real quick
[2:45]
that, again,
[2:46]
we're going to be talking about television
[2:47]
and what is essential to television.
[2:50]
That's right, writers.
[2:51]
Writers are the ones who write it,
[2:52]
and they're currently on strike.
[2:54]
Now, I'm not a member of the WGA.
[2:56]
However,
[2:57]
I like to consider myself an ally.
[3:00]
And these two dudes are.
[3:02]
So, please,
[3:03]
Ellie,
[3:03]
I'm sure we're going to talk about it a little bit more,
[3:05]
and we'll talk briefly about how you can support the writers
[3:08]
that write the shows that you love,
[3:10]
and I love, too,
[3:11]
because that's what we're talking about today.
[3:12]
We're talking, too,
[3:13]
with two dudes and me.
[3:14]
So,
[3:16]
guys,
[3:16]
we are right in the middle.
[3:18]
We're recording this in the middle of a week
[3:20]
when a bunch of series finales are coming out.
[3:23]
That's right.
[3:24]
The series finale for Succession dropped.
[3:26]
The series finale of Barry dropped.
[3:29]
The series finale for Mrs. Maisel dropped.
[3:32]
I think the series finale of Ted Lasso dropped.
Elliott Kalan
[3:36]
And it was all one big crossover.
[3:37]
That was the amazing thing.
[3:39]
You had to watch all of them.
Stuart Wellington
[3:40]
It was, yeah.
[3:40]
If you don't watch them all,
[3:41]
you're only getting half the story.
[3:43]
Yeah.
[3:44]
So, what I want to talk about now, guys,
[3:46]
this is going to require a little bit of work,
[3:48]
so I hope you weren't planning on kicking up your heels
[3:50]
and cooling out.
Dan McCoy
[3:52]
Well, can I cool out without kicking up my heels?
Stuart Wellington
[3:55]
No, you can't cool out or kick up heels.
[3:57]
You have to commit to doing zero.
Elliott Kalan
[4:00]
You got to heat up and punch down those heels.
Stuart Wellington
[4:04]
So, we are not going to be spoiling
[4:06]
any of the series finales
[4:07]
that we have already mentioned.
Elliott Kalan
[4:09]
Not the least of which,
[4:10]
because I haven't watched any of them
[4:11]
and don't know if I'm going to watch any of them.
Dan McCoy
[4:13]
Okay.
[4:13]
Well, you're potentially missing out.
[4:14]
Well, if the second one is true,
[4:16]
then it seems like you shouldn't care about spoilers.
[4:18]
Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[4:19]
Then you should lick them up.
[4:20]
You should be like,
[4:21]
the way I handled the later seasons,
[4:23]
well, most of the seasons of Game of Thrones.
[4:25]
Yeah.
[4:25]
It's just by reading.
[4:26]
It's a saver.
[4:26]
Yeah.
[4:26]
By reading spoilery reviews,
[4:29]
because I'm like,
[4:29]
I don't want some rando telling me
[4:31]
what happened on Game of Thrones.
[4:32]
The books aren't even out yet.
[4:34]
I don't know what's going to happen.
Elliott Kalan
[4:35]
You want a Ronto telling you
[4:36]
what happened on Game of Thrones.
Stuart Wellington
[4:37]
I would love a Ronto to tell me.
[4:40]
Can they talk?
Elliott Kalan
[4:40]
Can they talk?
[4:41]
And then Jawa falls off and goes,
[4:41]
probably not.
[4:43]
Okay.
Stuart Wellington
[4:44]
So it would be charades.
Elliott Kalan
[4:46]
I imagine there's some cut scene
[4:49]
from the special edition
[4:50]
where Ronto turns to the camera
[4:52]
and says,
[4:52]
it's a living,
[4:53]
and then poops on someone
[4:54]
and they fall over.
Stuart Wellington
[4:55]
Poops into another dinosaur,
[4:57]
no, alien's mouth,
[4:58]
and the alien's like,
[4:59]
it's a living,
[5:00]
and then it poops into
[5:01]
a different alien's mouth,
[5:03]
and I'm like,
[5:03]
oh my God.
[5:04]
It goes down.
[5:04]
And that last alien,
Elliott Kalan
[5:06]
it poops into another alien's mouth,
[5:07]
and that alien turns to the camera
[5:08]
and says,
[5:09]
I do it for pleasure.
[5:11]
Yeah.
[5:12]
I pay for this.
[5:13]
They're the ones doing it for,
[5:14]
I'm allowing them to do for a living.
Dan McCoy
[5:16]
At the end of this dino centipede,
[5:18]
there's nothing but happiness.
[5:19]
Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[5:22]
This human centipede
[5:23]
is 30% satisfied.
Stuart Wellington
[5:25]
We're going to do
[5:26]
a little exercise here
[5:28]
since I'm with two
[5:29]
professional writers.
[5:31]
What I would like,
[5:32]
what I want to do today,
[5:33]
ironically,
Elliott Kalan
[5:34]
not a lot of exercise
[5:35]
in that profession.
Stuart Wellington
[5:36]
We are going to,
[5:37]
we are going to describe
[5:39]
what happens
[5:41]
on the series finale
[5:44]
of one of your favorite
[5:45]
series finales.
[5:46]
I'm sure you have
[5:47]
a couple in your head.
[5:48]
And I want you to describe it
[5:49]
in a way that is
[5:50]
as non-spoilery as possible.
[5:53]
However,
[5:54]
we don't want to cross over
[5:56]
into the
[5:57]
what happens next week
[5:58]
on Mad Men line,
[6:00]
where it's just people
[6:01]
opening doors
[6:01]
and closing doors,
[6:02]
and you're like,
[6:03]
I have no,
[6:03]
fucking idea
[6:04]
what could be happening
[6:05]
in my office.
Elliott Kalan
[6:06]
I know this next episode,
[6:07]
someone is going to enter
[6:08]
someone else's office
[6:08]
and close the door
[6:09]
of that office,
[6:10]
but I don't know
[6:11]
the context of it.
Stuart Wellington
[6:12]
So you don't want to go
[6:13]
all the way to do that.
[6:15]
So for instance,
[6:16]
I'm going to,
[6:16]
I'll start,
[6:17]
since this is a little bit
[6:18]
of a game,
[6:18]
let's see how well I can do here.
[6:21]
So I'm going to pick
[6:23]
one of my favorite
[6:24]
series finales,
[6:26]
something my wife and I enjoyed
[6:27]
was The Shield.
[6:29]
Okay.
[6:30]
And The Shield
[6:31]
spent most of the run
[6:32]
with bad boy cop
[6:34]
Vic Mackey,
[6:35]
played by Michael Chiklis,
[6:36]
that's right,
[6:37]
the commish,
[6:38]
and his buddy Shane,
[6:41]
played by,
[6:42]
that's right,
[6:43]
Walton Goggins,
[6:44]
getting into all kinds
[6:45]
of trouble
[6:45]
and doing things
[6:46]
that are quite unbecoming
[6:47]
of an officer of the law,
[6:49]
or so you would think.
[6:50]
And so,
[6:52]
the,
[6:53]
let's see.
[6:53]
Or a vice principal
[6:54]
for that matter.
[6:54]
Or a vice principal
[6:56]
or a righteous gemstone.
[6:57]
Yeah.
[6:58]
Or a,
[7:00]
I guess kind of
[7:01]
what you'd expect
[7:01]
a Boyd Crowder to be.
Elliott Kalan
[7:02]
Yeah,
[7:03]
I don't expect Boyd Crowder
[7:04]
to be following the rules.
[7:05]
Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[7:06]
So,
[7:07]
let's see.
[7:08]
I'm going to say
[7:09]
in the series finale
[7:11]
of The Shield,
[7:12]
I can't give anything away.
[7:14]
Let's see.
[7:17]
Characters that we know
[7:19]
face,
[7:23]
some consequences
[7:26]
for their actions.
[7:28]
Uh-huh.
[7:31]
Uh,
[7:31]
truths are revealed.
[7:34]
Uh-huh.
[7:37]
Okay,
[7:37]
yeah.
[7:38]
Yeah.
[7:39]
The police are involved.
[7:41]
Okay,
[7:41]
well,
[7:42]
it's a cop show,
[7:42]
so that,
[7:43]
um.
[7:44]
Some people
[7:46]
end up
[7:47]
disappointed.
[7:49]
Uh-huh.
[7:52]
That's it.
[7:52]
Okay,
[7:57]
how'd I do?
[7:58]
Did you guys,
Elliott Kalan
[7:59]
did I ruin it for you?
[8:00]
I think you did a good job
[8:01]
of not spoiling it for me.
[8:02]
You did a good job
[8:04]
of giving me a sense
[8:05]
of how you felt
[8:06]
about the series finale.
[8:07]
How did you feel about it?
Stuart Wellington
[8:08]
Were you one of those people
[8:09]
who were disappointed?
[8:10]
Okay,
[8:10]
no,
[8:10]
no,
[8:11]
no.
[8:11]
I wasn't.
[8:11]
It's one of my favorites,
[8:12]
so let's see.
[8:13]
Um,
[8:14]
it surprised me
[8:17]
and was
[8:21]
harsh.
[8:23]
Hmm.
Elliott Kalan
[8:25]
Okay,
[8:26]
okay.
[8:26]
Is that okay?
[8:28]
Okay,
[8:28]
and where do you,
[8:29]
what do you score it
[8:29]
on the,
[8:30]
uh,
[8:30]
on the finalometer?
Stuart Wellington
[8:32]
Uh,
[8:32]
what are the,
[8:33]
what are the criterias
[8:34]
on the finalometer?
Elliott Kalan
[8:35]
There's two criteria,
[8:36]
audience satisfaction
[8:37]
and closure,
[8:38]
sense of closure.
Stuart Wellington
[8:40]
Okay,
[8:40]
so I would say,
[8:41]
I would say high on both.
[8:44]
Okay,
Elliott Kalan
[8:45]
okay,
[8:45]
that's good.
[8:46]
Okay,
[8:46]
so the shield,
[8:48]
uh,
[8:48]
the shield,
[8:48]
you have to go through
Stuart Wellington
[8:49]
a lot of seasons
[8:50]
and depending on
[8:51]
what your emotional state is,
[8:53]
some of those seasons
[8:53]
are going to be difficult.
[8:55]
Hmm.
[8:56]
Uh,
[8:57]
it is a show that
[8:58]
when I started it,
[8:58]
I was like,
[8:59]
I don't know if I want to see
[9:00]
another show that glorifies,
[9:01]
uh,
[9:02]
the police.
[9:02]
And then after watching,
[9:04]
uh,
[9:04]
a bit of it,
[9:05]
I'm like,
[9:05]
oh,
[9:05]
this show does the opposite of that.
[9:08]
It really radicalized you.
[9:10]
Yeah.
[9:11]
That was,
[9:11]
that was the thing.
Dan McCoy
[9:13]
Sorry,
[9:13]
I was zoning out
[9:14]
because I was thinking about,
[9:15]
you know,
[9:16]
having to,
[9:16]
having to do this.
Elliott Kalan
[9:17]
Yeah,
[9:18]
yeah,
[9:18]
having to,
[9:18]
yeah,
[9:18]
I'm not judging you.
Dan McCoy
[9:20]
I'll go up.
[9:21]
I'll go up next.
Elliott Kalan
[9:22]
If you want me to go next,
[9:23]
you can zone out a little bit more.
[9:24]
No,
[9:24]
no,
[9:24]
I,
Dan McCoy
[9:25]
no,
[9:26]
I zone out because I have one.
[9:27]
Oh,
[9:28]
okay.
[9:28]
Okay.
[9:29]
Uh,
[9:29]
so I'm going to go with
[9:30]
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[9:32]
because it's a,
[9:32]
it's a finale that I think
[9:34]
I can remember pretty well,
[9:35]
even though,
[9:36]
obviously the rules of this game
[9:37]
don't really require you
[9:38]
to remember it all that well.
[9:40]
probably not.
[9:41]
It could hurt me,
[9:42]
if anything.
[9:44]
Um,
[9:45]
uh,
[9:45]
a show obviously
[9:46]
that's become a little harder
[9:47]
to watch now that we know
[9:48]
more about Joss Whedon,
[9:49]
but as Chris McCarpenter,
[9:50]
who's great on Twitter,
[9:51]
has pointed out.
Elliott Kalan
[9:52]
No spoilers about Joss Whedon's,
[9:53]
uh,
[9:53]
alleged horrible behavior.
[9:55]
Yeah,
Dan McCoy
[9:55]
my spoiler is,
[9:56]
there's no H in his name.
[9:58]
Um,
[9:58]
what?
Elliott Kalan
[10:01]
As Chris McCarpenter.
[10:02]
But at least there's one
[10:03]
in Whedon,
[10:03]
right?
Stuart Wellington
[10:04]
Elliot's going to have to get
[10:04]
that tattoo fixed.
Dan McCoy
[10:08]
Who is a delight on Twitter
[10:09]
has said,
[10:10]
you know,
[10:10]
it's a show that is much bigger
[10:11]
than one,
[10:12]
one person.
[10:13]
And,
[10:13]
uh,
[10:13]
sometimes,
[10:15]
uh,
[10:15]
you know,
[10:16]
things get lost.
[10:18]
The,
[10:18]
the,
[10:18]
the artistic contributions
[10:19]
of other people get lost
[10:21]
when,
[10:21]
uh,
[10:21]
unfortunately,
[10:23]
the person at the helm.
[10:23]
you're saying the same thing
[10:24]
about the Cosby show.
[10:25]
Turns out to be a weasel.
[10:27]
Well,
[10:28]
I was,
[10:28]
uh,
[10:28]
I mean,
[10:28]
that's true.
[10:29]
I mean,
[10:29]
like,
[10:30]
Cosby is a monster,
Elliott Kalan
[10:32]
but anyway.
[10:34]
I would say,
[10:34]
uh,
[10:34]
that,
[10:35]
uh,
[10:35]
to,
[10:35]
to,
[10:35]
uh,
[10:35]
to,
[10:35]
uh,
Elliott Kalan
[10:35]
to,
[10:35]
to,
[10:35]
uh,
[10:36]
to,
[10:36]
to,
[10:36]
to,
[10:37]
uh,
[10:37]
uh,
[10:37]
uh,
[10:38]
uh,
[10:39]
uh,
[10:39]
it is a,
[10:40]
it is a common thing,
[10:41]
especially in today's idea
[10:43]
of auteur driven TV.
[10:44]
It is a common thing to not
[10:46]
recognize the contributions of not
[10:49]
just the other writers on staff,
[10:51]
because it's not like Joss Whedon
[10:52]
wrote every episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
[10:54]
but also the many people involved
[10:56]
in its creative work from the
[10:58]
directors to the editors,
[10:59]
the performers,
[11:00]
to the crew,
[11:01]
uh,
[11:01]
to people who just,
[11:02]
who through their technical work are,
[11:04]
the people operating the cameras,
[11:05]
operating the sound equipment,
[11:06]
people doing the makeup,
[11:07]
everyone involved,
[11:08]
uh,
[11:08]
has a contribution that they're making
[11:10]
to it and a valuable contribution
[11:12]
at that.
[11:12]
And it is because of that,
[11:13]
partly,
[11:14]
in order to protect that,
[11:15]
uh,
[11:15]
creative industry and those
[11:16]
contributions,
[11:17]
the writer's skills on strike,
[11:18]
but we need to talk about that
[11:19]
right now.
[11:20]
But I did want to say this is a
[11:21]
good opportunity,
[11:22]
a good opening,
[11:23]
just to recognize that,
[11:24]
um,
[11:25]
this idea of one person
[11:27]
being behind it all has always
[11:28]
been a fiction in film for a long
[11:30]
time,
[11:31]
and it's a new fiction in television,
[11:33]
but it is a fiction for both.
[11:35]
It takes a lot of people to do
[11:36]
these things,
[11:37]
and all of them are necessary.
[11:39]
Dan,
[11:39]
tell us about the end of
[11:40]
Buffy the Vampire Killer.
Dan McCoy
[11:43]
Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
[11:45]
Uh,
[11:46]
you know,
[11:46]
as we know,
[11:48]
our titular vampire slayer is
[11:50]
still out there fighting evil.
[11:52]
Okay.
[11:53]
And we knew that?
[11:54]
And the finale,
[11:55]
uh,
[11:56]
just as has been true
[11:58]
for the previous,
[12:00]
uh,
[12:00]
season's finales,
[12:02]
uh,
[12:03]
the big bad,
[12:05]
the fight with them,
[12:07]
it comes to a head.
[12:08]
Okay.
[12:09]
Uh-huh.
[12:09]
Okay, okay.
[12:11]
Um,
[12:12]
something happens that,
[12:16]
uh,
[12:18]
changes,
[12:19]
Walters the Slayer mythos.
[12:23]
Uh,
[12:23]
okay.
[12:25]
Uh,
[12:25]
going,
[12:26]
going forward,
[12:27]
I guess,
[12:27]
into the comics.
[12:29]
The show is over,
[12:30]
right?
[12:30]
Yeah.
[12:32]
Uh,
[12:33]
certain people,
[12:34]
perhaps,
[12:35]
are lost along the way.
[12:37]
Okay.
[12:39]
All of them forever?
[12:41]
Question mark?
[12:42]
Oh,
[12:43]
okay.
Elliott Kalan
[12:44]
So,
[12:44]
even that sentence
[12:45]
wasn't spoiled for me.
Dan McCoy
[12:48]
And,
[12:49]
uh,
[12:50]
things
[12:51]
generally
[12:52]
end on a cheerful note.
Stuart Wellington
[12:59]
Okay,
[12:59]
and now tell us about the comics.
Dan McCoy
[13:01]
Uh,
[13:02]
the comics were not very good.
[13:03]
They were sold to me
[13:04]
as a direct continuation
[13:06]
of the show.
[13:07]
But the show,
[13:08]
honestly,
[13:09]
as much as I love it,
[13:10]
had been in a slight
[13:11]
creative decline
[13:12]
after season five,
[13:14]
season six and seven.
[13:15]
How many seasons do you have?
[13:16]
I think in my weakest seven.
[13:17]
Oh,
[13:18]
that's not too bad.
[13:18]
Um,
[13:19]
one for each deadly sin.
Stuart Wellington
[13:22]
Whoa,
[13:22]
that's,
[13:22]
that's how they did it?
Dan McCoy
[13:24]
I assume?
[13:25]
It's,
[13:25]
you know,
[13:26]
the comics were fine,
[13:28]
but,
[13:30]
uh,
[13:30]
after a certain point.
Elliott Kalan
[13:31]
All right.
[13:32]
Well,
[13:32]
that was less funny
[13:33]
than I thought the answer might be.
[13:34]
So,
Elliott Kalan
[13:34]
never mind.
Stuart Wellington
[13:36]
Okay,
[13:37]
so where do,
[13:37]
where do we,
[13:38]
yeah,
[13:38]
where do you rate this finale,
[13:39]
uh,
[13:40]
on those two,
[13:41]
uh,
[13:41]
on the finale meter?
Dan McCoy
[13:43]
It's a pretty satisfying finale.
[13:44]
It doesn't,
[13:46]
as I said,
[13:46]
I think that the show
[13:47]
kind of went downhill
[13:48]
towards the end,
[13:49]
so,
[13:51]
it could not
[13:51]
go out on top
[13:53]
like some of the best finales,
[13:54]
but I,
[13:54]
I'd give it like a seven.
[13:56]
Okay.
[13:57]
Oh,
[13:57]
the same number?
Stuart Wellington
[13:58]
As Seasons and Deadly Sins.
[13:59]
Yeah.
[14:01]
Wow,
[14:01]
okay.
[14:01]
Okay,
[14:02]
and,
[14:02]
uh,
[14:03]
yeah,
[14:03]
I guess
[14:03]
there's not too many spoilers there.
Elliott Kalan
[14:08]
Okay,
[14:09]
okay,
[14:09]
let's do it.
[14:09]
I didn't think it was going to be possible
[14:11]
for me to have less of an idea
[14:12]
of what happens
[14:13]
than in Stuart's summary,
[14:14]
and yet,
[14:15]
you did it,
[14:15]
Dan.
[14:16]
You did it.
Stuart Wellington
[14:16]
Oh,
[14:16]
man,
[14:16]
we're killing it today.
[14:18]
Yeah.
[14:18]
Okay,
[14:18]
Elliot,
[14:19]
why don't we,
[14:20]
uh,
[14:20]
why don't you jump in this game?
Elliott Kalan
[14:22]
All right,
[14:22]
now,
[14:22]
I'm going to jump in.
[14:23]
Now,
[14:23]
uh,
[14:23]
the first show that came to mind,
[14:25]
uh,
[14:25]
was one of my favorite shows,
[14:26]
The Prisoner,
[14:27]
and yet,
[14:28]
I already did a podcast
[14:29]
where I talked about that finale
[14:30]
with John Hodgman.
[14:31]
It's called,
[14:32]
uh,
[14:32]
Be Potting You,
[14:33]
and it's available on Maximum Fun.
[14:34]
So go listen to that.
[14:35]
It's a four-episode podcast miniseries.
[14:37]
Uh,
[14:37]
and so then I started thinking about
[14:38]
what's another show I liked more recently,
[14:40]
and a show I really was a big fan of
[14:42]
was Hannibal,
[14:44]
the show all about serial killers
[14:46]
and cannibals,
[14:47]
and conversations.
[14:49]
He's a cannibal?
[14:50]
Oh,
[14:50]
sorry,
[14:51]
spoiler.
[14:51]
And conversations made out of loaded questions.
Dan McCoy
[14:54]
And arranging corpses
[14:56]
and artistic tableaus.
Elliott Kalan
[14:57]
Arranging corpses.
[14:58]
The show that was,
[14:59]
that was as baroque in its visuals
[15:01]
as it was erotic in its atmosphere.
[15:04]
Uh,
[15:04]
and in the season finale,
[15:07]
uh,
[15:08]
so,
[15:09]
Series finale.
[15:09]
Series finale,
[15:10]
sorry,
[15:10]
Series finale.
[15:11]
Uh,
[15:11]
this was the third season,
[15:13]
I believe.
[15:13]
And,
[15:13]
uh,
[15:14]
I have to admit,
[15:15]
that season I was not as huge a fan of.
[15:17]
They,
[15:17]
they took a long time
[15:18]
adapting Richard Harris's
[15:20]
actual Hannibal novels,
[15:23]
uh,
[15:23]
for a while.
[15:24]
And,
[15:24]
as much as I loved every moment
[15:27]
when,
[15:27]
like,
[15:27]
a drop of blood would fall into a bathtub
[15:29]
and you just follow that drop
[15:31]
as it,
[15:31]
as it,
[15:32]
you know,
[15:32]
spiraled on down
[15:33]
and was dissolved.
[15:35]
Uh,
[15:35]
I wasn't enjoying the story that much
[15:37]
and there were certain points
[15:37]
where it was like,
[15:38]
wait,
[15:38]
so there's like electric eels
[15:39]
or in his butt or something
[15:41]
that I just didn't,
[15:42]
that I,
[15:42]
I just,
[15:42]
I just couldn't quite,
[15:44]
I couldn't crap,
[15:44]
I couldn't wrap my mind around.
[15:46]
I was gonna say,
[15:46]
I couldn't crap my mind around,
[15:47]
but I couldn't do that either.
[15:49]
Uh,
[15:49]
but I thought that the,
[15:51]
the season really picked up,
[15:52]
uh,
[15:53]
as they,
[15:53]
the final,
[15:54]
the,
[15:54]
the end story was,
[15:55]
um,
[15:56]
I forget if it was an adaptation,
[15:57]
I think it was an adaptation of Red Dragon,
[15:58]
I can't remember,
[15:59]
but,
[16:00]
uh,
[16:00]
but the,
[16:01]
uh,
[16:01]
but at the end.
Stuart Wellington
[16:02]
A thing that has been adapted in two other,
[16:04]
in two movies.
[16:04]
Has it been adapted two other times
Elliott Kalan
[16:05]
and I think is,
[16:07]
I think is up there with the,
[16:09]
it was adapted as Manhunter
[16:10]
and then as the movie Red Dragon.
[16:12]
It's better than the movie Red Dragon.
[16:14]
And I think.
[16:15]
By far.
[16:16]
By far.
[16:16]
And it's up there with Manhunter
[16:17]
in a lot of ways.
[16:18]
Yeah,
[16:18]
it's up there with Manhunter.
[16:19]
I mean,
[16:19]
there's,
[16:20]
for me,
[16:20]
you know,
[16:21]
there's nobody who can beat Tom Noonan
[16:22]
as a super scary dude.
[16:24]
Uh,
[16:24]
but still.
[16:25]
Uh,
[16:26]
yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[16:26]
Richard Armitage is not bad,
[16:28]
especially when you consider
[16:29]
that he was a dwarf.
Dan McCoy
[16:31]
Yeah.
[16:31]
And also,
[16:32]
I'm,
[16:32]
you know,
[16:32]
I'm a 40 something year old man.
[16:34]
If you show me Manhunter
[16:36]
and I'm just gonna go into like
[16:37]
this synth wave,
[16:38]
like,
[16:39]
pleasure coma.
[16:40]
Oh,
Dan McCoy
[16:40]
yeah.
[16:40]
Just like,
[16:41]
neon and,
[16:42]
you know,
[16:43]
I don't know,
[16:44]
just blue lights everywhere.
[16:45]
Speaking of,
Elliott Kalan
[16:46]
speaking of synth,
[16:46]
the,
[16:47]
the,
[16:47]
I was,
[16:47]
I've been watching Simpsons episodes
[16:49]
with my older son,
[16:50]
which he hasn't seen before.
[16:51]
And we watched the Mr. Plow episode.
[16:52]
And there's the,
[16:53]
a part where Homer is driving his plow
[16:55]
against or across a rope bridge
[16:57]
and the music,
[16:58]
and it's like the scene in Sorcerer
[16:59]
and the music is all synthy.
[17:00]
And I was like,
[17:01]
oh,
[17:02]
now I understand this joke.
[17:03]
Because when,
[17:04]
when this first aired,
[17:05]
when I was like 11,
[17:06]
I had not seen Sorcerer.
[17:07]
I was not familiar with it.
[17:10]
And your parents didn't take you aside
[17:12]
and explain it.
[17:13]
But you had seen Wages of Fear.
[17:13]
Yeah,
[17:13]
yeah.
[17:14]
You were like,
[17:14]
oh,
[17:14]
it's like Wages of Fear.
[17:16]
I was like,
[17:16]
it's like Wages of Fear,
[17:17]
but like,
[17:17]
why the music?
[17:18]
I don't understand.
[17:19]
Clouseau wasn't working with,
[17:20]
with synth in his,
[17:21]
in his soundtrack.
[17:22]
Yeah.
[17:23]
So,
[17:23]
so I'm gonna,
[17:24]
but let's see,
[17:25]
let's describe this,
[17:26]
this ending to this series finale.
[17:29]
Okay,
[17:29]
so there's a,
[17:30]
there's a disagreement
Stuart Wellington
[17:32]
between our main characters.
[17:35]
Who's in it?
Elliott Kalan
[17:36]
There's a disagreement
[17:37]
between our,
[17:37]
between our main characters
[17:38]
and our,
[17:40]
not main character,
[17:41]
but recurring character.
[17:43]
Mm-hmm.
[17:44]
The,
[17:44]
the two main characters
[17:45]
find both
[17:46]
common ground
[17:48]
and also disagreement.
[17:50]
Okay.
[17:51]
There is a very memorable hug
[17:53]
and,
[17:54]
uh,
[17:55]
Jillian Anderson
[17:56]
prepares a meal
[17:57]
for someone.
[17:58]
Yeah.
[18:00]
And,
[18:01]
that's the series finale
[18:02]
of Hannibal.
Stuart Wellington
[18:05]
Oh,
[18:05]
yeah,
[18:06]
okay.
[18:06]
Well,
[18:06]
I feel like,
[18:07]
I feel like Elliot
[18:08]
got a little more detail
[18:09]
in his than we got
[18:10]
into ours,
[18:11]
but,
[18:11]
yeah,
[18:12]
but it's still
[18:12]
pretty vague.
[18:14]
Pretty vague.
[18:14]
You don't know what the,
Elliott Kalan
[18:15]
you don't know what the context
[18:16]
of the hug is.
[18:17]
No.
[18:17]
And you don't know
[18:17]
who Jillian Anderson
[18:19]
is preparing the meal for
Stuart Wellington
[18:20]
or what she's preparing.
[18:21]
Yep.
[18:21]
Okay.
[18:23]
Uh,
[18:23]
well,
[18:23]
that was fun,
[18:24]
guys.
[18:24]
Series finales,
[18:25]
you gotta love them.
Dan McCoy
[18:27]
Okay,
[18:27]
good takeaway.
Stuart Wellington
[18:31]
Okay,
[18:31]
so the,
[18:32]
uh,
[18:32]
the next part
[18:33]
of this little episode,
[18:34]
I wanna talk about
[18:35]
a thing I started
[18:36]
watching recently
[18:36]
because I'm very
[18:37]
excited about it.
[18:38]
Uh,
[18:39]
I just started watching
[18:40]
the new
[18:40]
Dead Ringers show,
[18:42]
which is,
[18:43]
of course,
[18:44]
adapted,
[18:44]
uh,
[18:45]
from the David Cronenberg
[18:46]
movie,
[18:47]
and I have another
[18:48]
little deadly game
[18:50]
for the two of you.
[18:51]
Okay.
[18:51]
I would like the two
[18:53]
of you to collaborate
[18:54]
on a pitch for me.
[18:56]
Can you pitch for me
[18:57]
a TV reimagining
[19:00]
of a David Cronenberg
[19:01]
that twists it
[19:02]
in a way
[19:03]
that makes it
[19:03]
appropriate
[19:04]
for my
[19:05]
modern eyeballs?
[19:08]
Appropriate
[19:09]
how?
[19:10]
I mean,
[19:10]
it'd be kind of,
Elliott Kalan
[19:10]
honestly,
[19:11]
would be to tone
[19:12]
it down,
[19:12]
probably.
[19:13]
I feel like
[19:13]
David got away
[19:14]
with a lot
[19:15]
in the 70s
[19:15]
and 80s.
[19:16]
So,
[19:16]
Dan,
[19:17]
okay,
[19:17]
let's talk about
[19:18]
what Cronenberg
[19:19]
were adapting.
[19:20]
I mean,
[19:20]
it feels like
[19:21]
the easy way to go,
[19:22]
and I don't want
[19:23]
to go that way,
[19:23]
it would be
[19:23]
a history of violence.
[19:24]
I don't want
[19:25]
to go that way.
[19:25]
Okay,
Stuart Wellington
[19:26]
too easy.
[19:26]
I feel like
[19:27]
if you want
[19:27]
to take it easy
[19:28]
on yourself,
[19:28]
you pick any
[19:29]
of those three
[19:30]
movies.
[19:31]
Except for Spider.
Elliott Kalan
[19:32]
Spider would not
[19:33]
be an easy one
[19:34]
to adapt
[19:34]
into a TV show.
Dan McCoy
[19:35]
Also,
[19:36]
the dead zone
[19:39]
would be too easy
[19:40]
and has already
[19:41]
been adapted.
[19:42]
I feel like
Elliott Kalan
[19:42]
Scanners,
[19:43]
I think,
[19:43]
Scanners may have
[19:44]
been a television show
[19:45]
also at some point,
[19:46]
wasn't it?
Dan McCoy
[19:46]
Scanners feels like
[19:47]
it would be
[19:49]
pretty easily adapted
[19:50]
to a TV show.
Elliott Kalan
[19:52]
There's good guy,
[19:53]
bad guy psychics,
[19:54]
they're making
[19:54]
each other's heads
[19:55]
blow up,
[19:55]
everyone's wearing
[19:56]
puffy vests
[19:56]
over flannel shirts.
[19:57]
Yeah,
[19:57]
that's a TV show already.
[19:59]
So,
Elliott Kalan
[19:59]
let's say,
[20:00]
so what's a hard,
[20:01]
The Fly would be
[20:02]
not that difficult.
[20:04]
Videodrome.
[20:05]
Now,
[20:05]
let's talk about
[20:05]
Videodrome.
[20:06]
But how are you
[20:06]
going to twist it?
[20:08]
Because,
[20:08]
well,
[20:08]
the thing is,
[20:09]
Videodrome is already
[20:10]
about the televisual medium.
[20:11]
So,
[20:11]
that's why I think,
[20:12]
let's try to do
[20:13]
a TV show out of that.
[20:14]
Okay,
[20:14]
so,
[20:15]
Videodrome,
[20:16]
here's one twist,
[20:17]
James Woods would not
[20:17]
be the star of this
[20:18]
television version
[20:19]
of Videodrome.
Stuart Wellington
[20:20]
Well,
[20:20]
I mean,
[20:20]
I think often is the case,
[20:22]
it's not like Jeremy Irons
[20:23]
is in the Dead Ringers
[20:24]
TV show.
[20:25]
True,
[20:25]
true,
[20:26]
yeah.
[20:26]
Instead,
[20:26]
they do the smartest
[20:28]
thing a TV show
[20:29]
can do,
[20:30]
and they cast Rachel Weisz
[20:31]
and she plays two characters.
Elliott Kalan
[20:35]
They advertised,
[20:36]
they said,
[20:36]
Dead Ringers twice the vice.
[20:38]
This time,
[20:39]
our vice is twice.
[20:40]
And people were like,
[20:41]
oh,
[20:41]
fantastic.
[20:44]
They also tried,
[20:45]
they had the double rainbow guy,
[20:47]
double rainbow guy
[20:47]
on the commercials going,
[20:48]
double Rachel,
[20:49]
what does it mean?
[20:50]
And that did not test as well,
[20:52]
that advertisement.
Dan McCoy
[20:53]
Now,
[20:54]
here's the problem.
[20:55]
Okay.
[20:55]
That I foresee for us
[20:57]
with Videodrome.
[20:58]
Okay.
[20:58]
Because if you're going to
[20:59]
modernize it right,
[21:00]
I feel like it has to be,
[21:03]
you know,
[21:04]
internet streaming,
[21:05]
something like that.
[21:06]
Yeah,
[21:06]
streaming.
[21:06]
The villain that is
Elliott Kalan
[21:07]
destroying our industry.
[21:08]
Yeah,
[21:09]
streaming.
Dan McCoy
[21:09]
Sure.
[21:10]
But the thing is,
[21:12]
I guess I fear,
[21:14]
I fear to tread there
[21:15]
because there have been
[21:17]
so many bad horror movies
[21:20]
about the internet.
[21:22]
Like,
Elliott Kalan
[21:23]
I feel like-
[21:24]
You're right,
[21:24]
Dan.
[21:24]
It's impossible to make art
[21:26]
about the internet
[21:27]
and have it be good.
[21:28]
Can you believe this guy?
[21:29]
Wait,
[21:29]
I'm looking to the audience.
[21:30]
I'm doing like a
[21:31]
John Musitsky in the office
[21:32]
look to the audience.
[21:33]
I am saying-
[21:33]
Can you believe this guy?
Stuart Wellington
[21:34]
I am saying that like-
[21:36]
There's been good horror movies
[21:37]
about the internet.
[21:38]
The fucking social network,
[21:39]
dude.
[21:39]
People have-
[21:40]
Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[21:41]
Probably one of the best-
[21:42]
People have tried so hard
[21:44]
to be like,
[21:45]
what is scary
[21:46]
about the internet?
[21:47]
And the thing is,
[21:48]
like,
[21:48]
the internet is scary
[21:49]
and yet the movies
[21:50]
somehow have not been
[21:51]
able to figure it out.
Elliott Kalan
[21:52]
So here's the thing,
[21:53]
because I think they mistake
[21:54]
the medium for the message.
[21:57]
If I can be like
[21:57]
Marshall McLuhan,
[21:58]
a character in Videodrome
[21:59]
of whom it's based on,
[22:01]
the character of Brian Oblivion,
[22:02]
right?
[22:03]
So the,
[22:05]
I think they've,
[22:05]
they've took,
[22:06]
the scary thing about the internet
[22:07]
is that it,
[22:08]
it plays on your deepest,
[22:11]
what,
[22:12]
insecurities and privacies
[22:13]
and fears
[22:13]
and can alternately project them
[22:15]
to the world
[22:16]
or directly to you
[22:18]
feed the things
[22:18]
that are going to drive you mad.
[22:19]
And instead,
[22:20]
what the movies have mainly said
[22:21]
is the internet is creepy
[22:22]
because there might be
[22:23]
serial killers
[22:24]
who are lurking on it,
[22:25]
you know,
[22:25]
or smileys,
[22:26]
you know,
[22:27]
whereas it feels like
[22:28]
with Videodrome,
[22:29]
it gives you the opportunity
[22:30]
to do something scary
[22:31]
about algorithms,
[22:33]
you know,
[22:33]
or something scary
[22:34]
about the way social media
[22:36]
is designed to make you mad
[22:38]
or to make you paranoid.
[22:41]
So I think there's things
[22:42]
you could do with that.
Dan McCoy
[22:43]
Well, that's,
[22:43]
I mean,
[22:43]
I think there's like,
[22:44]
there's an uncertainty quality
[22:46]
to what Videodrome is doing.
[22:48]
Like,
[22:48]
like,
[22:50]
he doesn't really know
[22:51]
what these transmissions are,
[22:52]
how much,
[22:53]
how seriously to take them
[22:54]
in a certain way.
[22:55]
And like,
[22:56]
I think that there's something
[22:56]
interesting with that too
[22:57]
with the internet
[22:58]
with like,
[22:59]
people who claim
[23:00]
to just be trolls
[23:01]
and you can't tell,
[23:03]
you know,
[23:04]
whether they are just trolls,
[23:06]
whether they are
[23:07]
legitimately like,
[23:09]
you know,
[23:10]
dangerous
[23:10]
or whether there's any difference
[23:11]
between those two things.
Elliott Kalan
[23:13]
Yeah, yeah.
[23:13]
I think,
[23:14]
I love that.
[23:15]
That's a great gray area
[23:16]
to play in is that,
[23:16]
that paranoia of not knowing
[23:18]
what's a real danger
[23:18]
and what's a fake danger,
[23:19]
what's sincere
[23:20]
and what's not sincere.
[23:21]
And you can't escape it
[23:23]
because the devices
[23:24]
that you use
[23:25]
to run your life
[23:26]
are pushing these things
[23:28]
at you constantly.
[23:29]
You have to opt out
[23:30]
of all of it.
[23:31]
Yeah.
[23:32]
And these devices
[23:32]
are essential.
[23:33]
You can't,
[23:34]
you can't,
Stuart Wellington
[23:34]
it's getting to the point
[23:35]
where you can't even
[23:36]
get on the subway
[23:36]
without scanning
[23:37]
your fucking phone.
Elliott Kalan
[23:38]
Yeah,
[23:38]
which is crazy.
[23:40]
Like,
[23:40]
it's,
[23:40]
it's really,
[23:41]
it's,
[23:41]
it's,
[23:42]
or when people talk about
[23:43]
like,
[23:43]
well,
[23:43]
we need a cashless society
[23:44]
and it's like,
[23:45]
wait,
[23:45]
so I need,
[23:45]
you're saying I need
[23:46]
to have a device
[23:46]
with me at all times.
[23:47]
Like,
[23:48]
I can't opt out
[23:49]
of even having a device.
[23:50]
So that,
[23:50]
I think that's really good.
[23:51]
And the first one,
[23:53]
the video drone in the movie
[23:54]
is so much about
[23:54]
the difference between
[23:56]
image and reality
[23:57]
and what happens
[23:57]
when you confuse them.
[23:59]
So this can be similar.
[24:00]
The idea of
[24:00]
confusing the virtual world
[24:02]
for the real world,
[24:03]
not in a virtuosity,
[24:06]
somebody comes out
[24:07]
of a video game
[24:08]
and is killing people
[24:09]
in real life.
Stuart Wellington
[24:09]
So no serial killers.
Elliott Kalan
[24:11]
Well,
[24:12]
I'm not,
[24:12]
not necessarily,
[24:13]
but probably not.
[24:14]
But the idea of
[24:16]
that there are companies
[24:17]
out there in reality
[24:18]
that want to,
[24:19]
that want to create
[24:20]
a virtual world
[24:21]
that then we would have
[24:22]
to spend all of our time in
[24:23]
so that they can not only
[24:24]
control the products
[24:25]
or the,
[24:26]
or the content
[24:27]
or whatever that we get,
[24:29]
but also control
[24:29]
the very reality
[24:30]
that we live in
[24:31]
in a way that they own
[24:32]
and they have to sell to us,
[24:34]
which is a really
[24:34]
frightening idea,
[24:35]
right?
Dan McCoy
[24:35]
Maybe that's an idea.
[24:36]
Maybe like,
[24:38]
there's someone
[24:38]
notices
[24:40]
like targeted
[24:42]
stuff,
[24:44]
you know,
[24:45]
being more and more
[24:46]
specifically targeted
[24:47]
towards them,
[24:48]
gets paranoid about it.
[24:50]
And then like,
[24:52]
things start to,
[24:52]
start to fall into place
[24:54]
in their life
[24:54]
in a way that should be positive,
[24:56]
but they are paranoid
[24:57]
that this is like,
[24:58]
somehow these companies
[25:00]
are now tailoring
[25:01]
reality to his whims
[25:03]
as well.
Elliott Kalan
[25:04]
It could be,
[25:04]
yeah.
[25:04]
I mean,
[25:04]
in a way that,
[25:05]
we don't want it to be
[25:05]
too much like The Matrix
[25:06]
or something like that,
[25:07]
but I like that idea.
[25:08]
That's really good.
[25:09]
So it's like,
[25:10]
he's already in the,
[25:13]
he's already in that world
[25:14]
or something like that.
[25:15]
That he,
[25:15]
there's a,
[25:18]
we'll figure it out.
[25:19]
So anyway,
[25:19]
Stuart,
[25:19]
that's the pitch.
[25:20]
You like it?
Stuart Wellington
[25:21]
Okay,
[25:21]
I'm buying it.
[25:22]
10 episode,
[25:23]
10 episode run.
[25:24]
Let's put it on
[25:25]
free form.
[25:28]
Okay.
Dan McCoy
[25:29]
You can't see it at home,
[25:31]
but Stuart,
[25:32]
look down as if
[25:33]
to check his nose,
[25:34]
as if he has a deal
[25:36]
in place with free form.
[25:37]
Yeah,
[25:37]
Stuart has an overall
[25:38]
with free form.
[25:39]
Yeah.
[25:40]
Okay.
[25:40]
This is a great.
[25:41]
You're trying to get us
[25:41]
through work during the strike,
[25:43]
Stuart.
Stuart Wellington
[25:44]
Yep.
[25:45]
I'm doing it,
[25:46]
tricking you.
[25:47]
I'm like a,
[25:48]
like a sneaky streaming service.
[25:51]
Speaking of sneaky streaming services,
[25:54]
the Flophouse is sponsored
[25:55]
by a number of different companies.
[25:57]
Not sneaky streaming services though.
[25:59]
No.
[26:00]
No.
[26:01]
No.
[26:02]
So why don't we jump to those?
[26:03]
Dan,
[26:04]
I believe you're the first.
Dan McCoy
[26:05]
Yeah,
[26:06]
and I definitely had it pulled up
[26:08]
and then somehow hit the wrong thing.
[26:11]
Here it is.
Elliott Kalan
[26:12]
Maybe we can use a little bit more
[26:13]
of that Videodrome fake reality
[26:15]
where things fall into place for Dan
[26:17]
without his realizing it.
Dan McCoy
[26:19]
You know what makes it
[26:20]
you not worry about
[26:21]
whether things fall into place or not?
Elliott Kalan
[26:24]
One more thing,
[26:24]
one more thing about that Videodrome idea,
[26:25]
even though we're done with that segment.
[26:28]
Videodrome,
[26:28]
the movie,
[26:29]
is so much about playing on people's
[26:30]
sexual desires,
[26:31]
and what happens
[26:32]
when they are removed from reality.
[26:33]
And one thing that could be interesting
[26:34]
to play with is that the metaverse,
[26:36]
as for instance,
[26:37]
Mark Zuckerberg has designed it,
[26:38]
or not him specifically,
[26:39]
but his designers of Facebook,
[26:40]
was so incredibly sexless
[26:41]
and so incredibly non-physical
[26:43]
and non-body or non-sensual.
[26:45]
And that could be something
[26:46]
to play with in this new Videodrome.
[26:47]
The idea that the future
[26:49]
is not your sexual desires
[26:52]
being transmuted electronically,
[26:54]
but instead the opposite of that,
[26:56]
them being denied to you
[26:57]
because they don't fit into
[26:58]
either the corporate philosophy
[27:00]
or the philosophy of the person
[27:02]
who ultimately pulls the strings
[27:03]
of that corporation.
[27:03]
So scary, right?
[27:05]
This world of digital Unix
[27:07]
that Facebook wants us to be.
[27:08]
Ooh, frightening.
Stuart Wellington
[27:09]
Oh, man.
[27:10]
I guess I'll throw away
[27:11]
my milking machine.
[27:12]
Okay, Dan,
[27:13]
who are we sponsoring?
[27:14]
No, Stuart,
Elliott Kalan
[27:15]
you need it.
[27:15]
That milking machine
[27:16]
is what keeps you human.
[27:18]
Dan, get a milking machine.
[27:20]
Anyway, what's your sponsor?
[27:21]
Milking machines?
Dan McCoy
[27:22]
No, if anything a sponsor likes more
[27:26]
than coming after that conversation.
[27:28]
And we would like to thank our sponsor.
[27:31]
Our show today is sponsored
[27:32]
by Microdose Gummies,
[27:33]
which Microdose Gummies
[27:35]
deliver perfect entry-level doses of THC
[27:37]
that help you feel
[27:39]
just the right amount of good luck.
[27:43]
Guys, I'm going to be honest with you.
[27:46]
Yeah.
[27:46]
I got a lot of problems
[27:48]
relating to people sometimes.
[27:50]
I have a sort of an inflexible mindset.
[27:54]
I hold myself to a bizarre standard
[27:57]
and get inexplicably infuriated
[27:59]
when other people don't share that standard.
[28:03]
A lot of things.
[28:05]
And you know what has genuinely helped me?
[28:08]
A little THC.
[28:10]
Not TLC,
[28:11]
although that has also helped me,
[28:12]
tenderloin care.
[28:13]
And it reminds you
Stuart Wellington
[28:14]
that you shouldn't accept scrubs
[28:15]
into your life.
[28:16]
THC.
Elliott Kalan
[28:17]
Or go chasing waterfalls.
[28:19]
No, stick to the rivers and lakes
[28:20]
that have already been thoroughly mapped
[28:22]
and you know the depths
[28:24]
and the bottom topography.
Dan McCoy
[28:27]
I'm just saying
[28:28]
it helps me chill out a little bit.
[28:29]
Maybe it'll help you chill out a little bit.
[28:31]
Microdose is available nationwide.
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and use code FLOP
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Links can be found in the show's description,
[28:42]
but again,
[28:42]
that is Microdose.com
[28:44]
code FLOP.
Elliott Kalan
[28:46]
And we are also sponsored by Soylent.
[28:49]
Let's face it,
[28:49]
unless you like to cook,
[28:51]
cooking is not fun.
[28:52]
I find it really stressful, honestly.
[28:54]
A lot of it is keeping track of things.
[28:56]
I don't like that.
[28:57]
You're rushing around
[28:57]
to get them all finished in time.
[28:59]
There never seems to be enough time
[29:00]
to do it well.
[29:01]
There's a reason the show,
[29:02]
The Bear,
[29:03]
is not described as calming
[29:04]
and meditative.
[29:07]
And it's all about cooking.
[29:09]
This is where the people at Soylent
[29:10]
have come in
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to make us a little less oppressed
[29:12]
by the clock
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and by our tummies.
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Soylent is the original
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and give your body
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without taking up
[29:27]
so much of your damn time
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and energy.
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And look,
[29:29]
there's so many different ways
[29:30]
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Of course,
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No,
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[30:22]
And remember,
[30:22]
we already mentioned,
[30:23]
the bear is not about
[30:24]
relaxing in food.
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No.
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unless you're a particularly
[30:36]
messy drinker
[30:37]
and you can't get a bottle
[30:38]
into your mouth
[30:39]
for crying out loud.
[30:40]
Come on,
[30:40]
people,
[30:40]
babies can do it.
[30:41]
This is the food
[30:42]
of the future.
[30:43]
Get on board.
[30:44]
We may require assistance.
[30:45]
Yes,
[30:45]
that's true.
[30:46]
When we're living in space,
[30:47]
we're all gonna eat like this.
[30:49]
So get a head start,
[30:50]
save yourself some time
[30:51]
and some Cirrus
[30:52]
and go to
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off your first order
[31:04]
of the food
[31:05]
of the future.
Dan McCoy
[31:07]
Now, Elliot,
[31:07]
I know you were using
[31:08]
just now
[31:08]
the Yiddish word
[31:09]
Cirrus,
[31:10]
meaning sort of like,
[31:11]
you know,
[31:12]
to do like a fuss,
[31:14]
you know,
Elliott Kalan
[31:14]
but worry.
[31:17]
Yeah,
[31:17]
worry,
[31:17]
anxiety,
[31:18]
you know,
[31:18]
a bad feeling
[31:19]
in your stomach
[31:20]
because you think
[31:20]
something bad
[31:21]
is gonna happen.
[31:21]
Exactly.
[31:22]
You were talking
Dan McCoy
[31:22]
about living in space,
[31:24]
so for a moment
[31:25]
I heard it as Cirrus,
[31:26]
the type of cloud
[31:27]
that one would have
[31:29]
to, you know,
[31:30]
break through
[31:30]
on the way
[31:31]
to space
[31:32]
and I was like,
[31:33]
why do you want
[31:33]
to save yourself
[31:34]
some Cirrus?
[31:35]
Anyway.
Stuart Wellington
[31:36]
That's the best part
[31:37]
about going to space,
[31:38]
breaking through that cloud.
Elliott Kalan
[31:39]
It's when you just
[31:40]
hold your hand out
[31:41]
with a net in it
[31:42]
and catch some clouds
[31:43]
and pull them
[31:43]
into the window
[31:44]
and close the window
[31:44]
and take it to space
[31:46]
with you.
[31:46]
Yeah,
[31:47]
it rules.
[31:47]
Nature's cotton candy,
[31:49]
you know,
[31:49]
clouds.
[31:51]
I wanted to take a moment
[31:52]
if it's possible
[31:52]
for me to shill
[31:53]
for my own things.
[31:55]
Dan and I
[31:55]
are on strike
[31:56]
and I have two things
[31:57]
I want to say about that.
[31:58]
One,
[31:59]
the Writers Guild
[31:59]
is on strike.
[32:00]
You've heard us
[32:00]
talk about it before.
[32:02]
We are striking
[32:02]
for equitable pay,
[32:04]
for real employment,
[32:06]
for humans
[32:07]
doing the creative work
[32:08]
and this is the kind
[32:08]
of strike
[32:08]
that a lot of industries
[32:09]
are probably going
[32:10]
to have to go through
[32:11]
or at least threaten
[32:12]
so that we can keep
[32:13]
humans on top
[32:14]
and machines on the bottom
[32:16]
where they belong
[32:16]
in our shoes
[32:17]
because we'll have
[32:18]
computer shoes
[32:18]
in the future.
[32:20]
Hopefully,
[32:20]
by the time this episode
[32:21]
comes out.
Dan McCoy
[32:22]
I heard about a computer
[32:22]
that wore tennis shoes.
[32:23]
But in this case,
[32:24]
the computer is tennis shoes.
[32:25]
In this case,
Elliott Kalan
[32:26]
the computer is tennis shoes.
[32:27]
Kurt Russell is still wearing it.
[32:29]
It's always Kurt Russell.
[32:31]
And so,
[32:32]
maybe by the time
[32:32]
this episode comes out,
[32:33]
maybe the strike will be over.
[32:34]
Maybe the AMPTP
[32:35]
will have come
[32:36]
to their goddamn senses
[32:37]
and realize
[32:38]
that they cannot
[32:39]
do their business
[32:40]
without us,
[32:40]
that they need us,
[32:41]
and that we are
[32:42]
one of the many groups
[32:43]
of people
[32:43]
that make entertainment
[32:44]
possible
[32:45]
and make them money.
[32:46]
If they haven't
[32:47]
and the strike
[32:47]
is still going on,
[32:48]
then a lot of writers
[32:49]
and a lot of people
[32:50]
in the entertainment industry
[32:51]
who are not writers
[32:51]
are going to be out of work
[32:53]
and are going to need
[32:53]
your help.
[32:54]
So that's why,
[32:55]
if you can
[32:55]
and if you would like to help,
[32:56]
I would advise you
[32:57]
to go to
[32:57]
entertainmentcommunity.org
[32:59]
and donate.
[33:00]
That is the
[33:00]
Entertainment Community Fund.
[33:02]
Used to be the Actors Fund.
[33:04]
Now it's the
[33:04]
Entertainment Community Fund.
[33:05]
It's for everybody.
[33:06]
Go to the area
[33:07]
that says
[33:07]
Support Film
[33:08]
and Television Professionals
[33:09]
and make a donation
[33:10]
that is money
[33:11]
that will go to
[33:12]
anyone in the
[33:13]
entertainment community
[33:13]
who applies for it
[33:14]
because they need it.
[33:15]
That's not just writers.
[33:16]
That could also mean
[33:17]
actors.
[33:17]
That could also mean
[33:18]
support staff
[33:19]
such as writer's assistants
[33:20]
or script supervisors
[33:21]
or anyone.
[33:23]
Anyone who works
[33:24]
in entertainment
[33:24]
who needs that money
[33:26]
when they need it
[33:27]
and we really appreciate
[33:28]
the support.
[33:29]
If you would rather
[33:29]
make a more targeted
[33:30]
donation to me
[33:31]
and get things
[33:33]
in addition,
[33:33]
as a result,
[33:34]
I have some books
[33:35]
out on store shelves
[33:36]
and you can help me
[33:36]
pay the bills
[33:37]
by buying some of them.
[33:38]
I have two picture books,
[33:39]
Sharko and Hippo
[33:40]
and Horse Meets Dog.
[33:41]
Kids love them.
[33:42]
And I have, of course,
[33:43]
the collections
[33:44]
of my comic book,
[33:45]
Maniac of New York
[33:46]
from Aftershock Comics.
[33:47]
Please feel free
[33:47]
to buy those
[33:48]
and enjoy them
[33:49]
and some of that money
[33:49]
will go to me.
[33:51]
In the case of the books,
[33:52]
it will go down to
[33:53]
paying back the advance
[33:54]
because we have not yet
[33:55]
done that.
[33:56]
But if you want
[33:57]
to not do that,
[33:58]
if you want
[33:58]
to make a donation
[33:59]
that will more
[33:59]
directly help people
[34:00]
and also go entirely
[34:02]
to the people
[34:02]
who need it,
[34:02]
go to
[34:03]
entertainmentcommunity.org
[34:05]
and make a donation
[34:06]
to help the
[34:07]
entertainment professionals
[34:07]
who need your help
[34:09]
so they can get
[34:09]
back on their feet
[34:10]
and keep making
[34:11]
that stuff
[34:11]
that you love.
[34:12]
We call it
[34:13]
entertainment.
Stuart Wellington
[34:16]
Thank you.
[34:16]
Now that's entertainment.
S4
[34:23]
Greatest Trek
[34:23]
is the podcast
[34:25]
for all your
[34:25]
modern Star Trek needs.
[34:27]
It's funny,
Stuart Wellington
[34:28]
informative,
[34:28]
and now it's also timely.
S4
[34:30]
That's because
[34:30]
every Friday
[34:31]
right after the release
[34:32]
of a new episode
[34:32]
of Strange New Worlds,
[34:34]
Picard,
[34:35]
Lower Decks,
[34:35]
Discovery,
[34:36]
or Prodigy,
[34:37]
we bring you a review
[34:38]
of that episode.
[34:39]
There's some great
Stuart Wellington
[34:40]
new Star Trek
[34:40]
coming up
[34:41]
and we're going
[34:41]
to cover all of it.
S4
[34:42]
You'll like our show
[34:43]
because we're both
[34:44]
former video producers
[34:45]
so we bring a lot
[34:45]
of insight
[34:46]
into the production
[34:47]
and filmmaking aspects
[34:48]
to these episodes.
[34:49]
And we also have
[34:49]
a very refined
[34:50]
sense of humor
[34:51]
so we make lots
[34:52]
of delightful
[34:52]
fart jokes
[34:53]
along the way.
[34:54]
So come see
[34:54]
why Greatest Trek
[34:55]
is one of the most
[34:56]
popular television
[34:57]
recap podcasts
[34:58]
on all of the internet.
[35:00]
Subscribe to
[35:01]
Greatest Trek
[35:01]
at MaximumFun.org
[35:03]
or in the podcast app
[35:04]
you're using right now.
[35:06]
Hey there,
[35:07]
this is Drea Clark.
[35:08]
This is Alonzo Durali.
Dan McCoy
[35:10]
And this is
[35:11]
Sparta.
[35:13]
Iffy.
[35:13]
Listen,
[35:14]
I got 300 on the brain.
[35:15]
We just watched
[35:16]
the movie 300
[35:17]
in honor of our
[35:18]
300th episode
[35:19]
of Maximum Film.
[35:20]
That's right.
[35:21]
And to celebrate
[35:22]
this major milestone
[35:23]
we brought back
[35:24]
original co-hosts
[35:26]
Ricky Carmona
[35:26]
and April Wolf.
[35:27]
But just for this
[35:28]
one episode, right?
[35:29]
Oh, iffy.
[35:30]
You know we could
[35:31]
never replace you.
S5
[35:32]
Some of the voices
[35:33]
have changed over the years.
[35:34]
Heck, the name
[35:35]
of the show
[35:35]
has changed too.
[35:36]
But through it all,
[35:37]
Maximum Film remains
Dan McCoy
[35:38]
the movie podcast
[35:39]
that isn't just
[35:41]
a bunch of
Stuart Wellington
[35:41]
straight white guys.
[35:43]
Deal with it.
S5
[35:44]
Find this
[35:44]
and all 300 episodes
[35:46]
of Maximum Film
[35:47]
anytime on
[35:48]
MaximumFun.org.
Stuart Wellington
[35:51]
So the back half
[35:52]
of this episode
[35:52]
of Two Boy
[35:53]
Talking Tube
[35:53]
to Two Dudes
[35:54]
Today,
[35:54]
Yes Way,
[35:55]
we're going to talk
[35:56]
about one of the
[35:57]
repercussions
[35:58]
of the writer's strike.
[35:59]
That's right,
[36:00]
we're talking
[36:00]
reality TV.
[36:03]
And the first thing,
[36:04]
the first part
[36:05]
of this segment,
[36:06]
we're going to be
[36:06]
talking about
[36:07]
a little show
[36:07]
that my wife
[36:08]
and I have been
[36:09]
watching since we
[36:09]
don't have
[36:10]
late night shows
[36:10]
to watch.
[36:11]
We've been
[36:12]
watching The Amazing
[36:13]
Race,
[36:15]
which is a show
[36:16]
where two people,
[36:17]
a team of two,
[36:18]
travel all over
[36:18]
the world
[36:19]
and complete
[36:20]
challenges
[36:21]
and have to
[36:21]
travel around
[36:22]
this modern
[36:23]
crazy world
[36:24]
and they're
[36:25]
running a race.
[36:26]
Okay?
[36:27]
It's fairly
[36:27]
straightforward.
[36:28]
If you haven't
[36:28]
seen it,
[36:29]
just imagine
[36:29]
you go on
[36:30]
puzzles and
[36:31]
physical challenges
[36:32]
and you have
[36:32]
to complete
[36:33]
them in order
[36:33]
to complete
[36:34]
this race.
[36:34]
It's like
Elliott Kalan
[36:35]
international
[36:35]
double dare,
[36:36]
but it's you
[36:37]
and a partner
[36:37]
and you're
[36:38]
held hostage
[36:38]
by the show
[36:39]
and you cannot
[36:39]
go home
[36:39]
until you
[36:40]
lose or finish.
[36:41]
Now,
Stuart Wellington
[36:42]
Charlene and I
[36:43]
have agreed
[36:44]
that under
[36:44]
no circumstance
[36:45]
would we be
[36:46]
good teammates
[36:47]
for this.
[36:48]
I would watch
[36:49]
that all season
[36:49]
though.
[36:50]
So,
[36:50]
what I'm
[36:51]
going to put
[36:51]
to you,
[36:52]
this is a little
[36:53]
bit of a lightning
[36:53]
round,
[36:54]
I'm going to
[36:54]
give you three,
[36:55]
we're going to
[36:56]
go through a
[36:57]
number of
[36:57]
different rounds
[36:58]
and each round
[36:59]
I'm going to
[36:59]
give you three
[37:00]
options,
[37:00]
three fictional
[37:02]
characters
[37:02]
and you are
[37:04]
going to have
[37:04]
to say who
[37:05]
you would like
[37:06]
to be your
[37:06]
teammate and
[37:07]
why.
[37:08]
Okay.
[37:09]
Okay?
[37:10]
Fairly simple
[37:10]
and you can
[37:11]
pick the same
[37:11]
one if you
[37:12]
insist.
[37:13]
So,
[37:13]
first,
[37:15]
Kermit,
[37:15]
Gonzo,
[37:16]
or Fozzie
[37:17]
Bear?
[37:19]
Who would be
[37:19]
the best
[37:20]
reality show
[37:21]
teammate for you?
Elliott Kalan
[37:22]
I mean,
[37:23]
it's like
[37:23]
Kermit,
[37:24]
obviously,
[37:25]
right?
[37:25]
Like,
[37:26]
because he's
[37:26]
level-headed
[37:27]
and he's not
[37:28]
going to annoy
[37:28]
you with his
[37:29]
jokes and also
[37:30]
he's not going
[37:30]
to be running
[37:31]
off to have
[37:31]
sex with Camilla
[37:32]
when he's
[37:32]
supposed to be
[37:33]
finishing the
[37:34]
competition,
[37:34]
right?
Stuart Wellington
[37:35]
True.
[37:36]
R.I.P.
[37:36]
R.I.P.
Elliott Kalan
[37:38]
That's right.
[37:39]
I forgot that in
[37:39]
Flop Haskin and
[37:40]
Camilla died last
[37:41]
year.
Dan McCoy
[37:43]
Now,
[37:43]
I am going to go
[37:44]
a different
[37:45]
direction.
[37:45]
I would say
[37:46]
that I am
[37:47]
too close
[37:47]
to a Kermit
[37:49]
to partner
[37:52]
with a Kermit.
[37:53]
I think,
[37:54]
I need someone
[37:56]
whose skill
[37:56]
set is
[37:57]
different and
[37:57]
I need
[37:57]
someone,
[37:58]
clearly,
[37:59]
you know,
[38:00]
based on
[38:01]
the people
[38:01]
I have
[38:02]
chosen to
[38:03]
surround
[38:03]
myself
[38:03]
with,
[38:04]
I prefer
[38:05]
to be
[38:05]
around
[38:05]
people
[38:06]
who
[38:06]
annoy me
[38:06]
a little.
[38:07]
So,
[38:08]
I'm going to
[38:08]
go with
[38:09]
Fozzie.
[38:10]
Oh,
[38:10]
cool.
[38:11]
I need someone
[38:11]
who's always
[38:12]
going to be
[38:12]
trying to
[38:13]
bother me
[38:13]
with jokes.
[38:14]
Actually,
[38:14]
you know what?
Stuart Wellington
[38:15]
What are you
[38:15]
going to say,
[38:16]
Stu?
[38:16]
I was just
[38:16]
going to say,
[38:17]
obviously,
[38:17]
I'm picking
[38:18]
Miss Piggy.
[38:18]
I don't think
[38:19]
we need to
[38:19]
cover that.
[38:20]
Not an option
[38:20]
that we
[38:21]
were presented
[38:21]
with.
Elliott Kalan
[38:22]
I mean,
[38:22]
actually,
[38:23]
now that I
[38:23]
think about it,
[38:23]
I already
[38:23]
took her,
[38:24]
dude.
[38:25]
Gonzo might
[38:25]
be good,
[38:26]
now that I
[38:26]
think about it,
[38:27]
because he
[38:27]
is not
[38:28]
loath to
[38:29]
perform
[38:30]
dangerous
[38:30]
stunts.
[38:31]
He is
[38:32]
not afraid
[38:33]
of putting
[38:34]
that long
[38:35]
hooked,
[38:36]
but not
[38:37]
anti-Semitic
[38:37]
nose
[38:38]
into danger.
Stuart Wellington
[38:40]
Yeah,
[38:40]
that's great.
[38:40]
Okay,
[38:41]
so next
[38:41]
round.
[38:42]
Perseus,
[38:43]
Achilles,
[38:44]
or Jason?
[38:46]
Not some
[38:47]
guy named
[38:47]
Jason,
[38:47]
we're talking
[38:48]
about the
[38:48]
Greek hero,
[38:50]
Jason.
Elliott Kalan
[38:51]
Okay,
[38:52]
now,
[38:52]
what I love
[38:53]
about this
[38:53]
is it also
[38:54]
ties into
[38:54]
my upcoming
[38:55]
Disney Villains
[38:56]
Hades
[38:56]
comics miniseries
[38:57]
that starts
[38:58]
in August,
[38:59]
and Jason
[39:00]
appears in
[39:01]
that series,
[39:02]
spoiler alert.
Stuart Wellington
[39:04]
Noted
[39:04]
villain.
Elliott Kalan
[39:05]
Well,
[39:06]
Hades is
[39:07]
still a
[39:07]
villain of
[39:08]
it,
[39:08]
but the
[39:09]
Jason's
[39:10]
not a
Stuart Wellington
[39:10]
cool dude.
[39:11]
No,
Elliott Kalan
[39:11]
I mean,
[39:12]
Jason,
[39:13]
okay,
[39:13]
just because
[39:14]
he abandoned
[39:15]
his wife,
[39:15]
causing her
[39:16]
to kill
[39:17]
her children,
[39:18]
is,
[39:19]
he's a
[39:20]
rascal.
[39:20]
But I'm
[39:21]
going to
[39:21]
say Perseus
[39:22]
for this
[39:22]
one.
[39:23]
Perseus,
[39:23]
he's got
[39:23]
magic weapons,
[39:25]
he got rid
[39:26]
of the
[39:26]
Medusa,
[39:27]
who is also
[39:27]
a character
[39:28]
in Disney
[39:28]
Villains
[39:28]
Hades,
[39:29]
and he's
[39:30]
just all
[39:30]
around,
[39:31]
you know,
[39:31]
he's just
[39:31]
a strong,
[39:32]
he's a good
[39:32]
hero,
[39:33]
he doesn't
[39:33]
have the
[39:33]
emotional
[39:33]
instability
[39:34]
of Achilles,
[39:35]
or the
[39:35]
rapscallion,
[39:37]
leave his
[39:38]
wife and
[39:39]
cause her to
[39:39]
kill his
[39:39]
children,
[39:40]
quality of
[39:40]
Jason.
[39:41]
So I'm
[39:41]
going to
[39:41]
go with
[39:42]
Perseus
[39:42]
on this
[39:42]
one.
[39:43]
Is
Dan McCoy
[39:43]
Perseus
[39:44]
the one
[39:44]
who's
[39:44]
the lead
[39:50]
accurate is
[39:51]
Clash of
[39:52]
the Titans
[39:52]
2 Greek
[39:53]
mythology.
[39:54]
Pretty close.
Elliott Kalan
[39:56]
I mean,
[39:57]
it's a
[39:58]
bouterized
[39:59]
version of
[39:59]
Greek mythology,
[40:00]
certainly.
Dan McCoy
[40:02]
Yeah,
[40:02]
I'll go with
[40:02]
Perseus 2,
[40:03]
that guy seems
[40:03]
to be able
[40:04]
to do a lot
[40:04]
of stuff.
Stuart Wellington
[40:06]
That's a good
[40:06]
response,
[40:07]
obviously,
[40:07]
I'm going
[40:08]
Heracles,
[40:08]
because Heracles
[40:09]
is the best.
[40:10]
Heracles
[40:10]
killed his
[40:11]
family,
[40:12]
Stu,
[40:12]
wait a minute,
[40:13]
hold on.
[40:13]
That's the problem,
[40:14]
they're holding
[40:15]
him back.
Elliott Kalan
[40:17]
I mean,
[40:18]
sure,
[40:18]
he was under
[40:18]
a spell of
[40:19]
madness,
[40:19]
he was
[40:22]
not fully
[40:22]
in his right
[40:23]
mind.
[40:23]
That's also
[40:23]
in the Greek myth,
[40:24]
it's like,
[40:25]
oh,
[40:25]
I killed my
[40:26]
family in a
[40:27]
fit of rage,
[40:27]
what can I
[40:28]
do to atone
[40:28]
myself?
Stuart Wellington
[40:29]
How about
[40:30]
you clean
[40:30]
out these
[40:30]
stables?
[40:32]
Wrestle this
[40:33]
dude.
[40:35]
Okay,
[40:36]
so,
[40:36]
next round,
[40:37]
we got
[40:37]
Princess Leia,
[40:39]
Chewbacca,
[40:40]
Salacious
[40:40]
Crumb.
Elliott Kalan
[40:42]
Oh,
[40:42]
this is a
[40:42]
tough one.
[40:43]
I gotta
[40:43]
think practically
[40:45]
and not just
[40:45]
go with the
[40:46]
one I want
[40:46]
to spend
[40:46]
time with.
[40:48]
Yeah,
[40:48]
that's the
[40:48]
thing.
[40:48]
That's the
[40:49]
thing.
Stuart Wellington
[40:49]
That person
[40:50]
might inspire you.
[40:52]
You know what?
[40:52]
Yeah,
Elliott Kalan
[40:52]
that's true.
[40:53]
I think,
[40:53]
you know what?
[40:54]
So,
[40:55]
Princess Leia,
[40:55]
obviously,
[40:56]
a lot of
[40:56]
can-do attitude,
[40:57]
can do just
[40:58]
about everything,
[40:58]
has the force.
[40:59]
Chewbacca,
[41:00]
loyal to the
[41:01]
end,
[41:01]
you know,
[41:02]
and a great
[41:02]
co-pilot,
[41:03]
but Salacious
[41:03]
Crumb,
[41:04]
that's the kind
[41:04]
of emotional
[41:06]
support that I
[41:08]
really need.
[41:08]
If he can make
[41:09]
Jabba the
[41:09]
Hutt feel
[41:10]
beautiful,
[41:10]
then he can
[41:11]
make me feel
[41:11]
like I can
[41:12]
do anything.
[41:12]
So,
[41:12]
I'm gonna go
[41:13]
with Salacious
[41:13]
Crumb.
Dan McCoy
[41:14]
Yeah,
[41:14]
I think with
[41:15]
Princess Leia,
[41:15]
there'd be too
[41:16]
big of a risk
[41:18]
that I would
[41:19]
get a crush on
[41:20]
her and it
[41:20]
would distract
[41:20]
me.
[41:21]
So,
[41:22]
I'm gonna go
[41:22]
with Chewbacca,
[41:23]
a known
[41:24]
loyal sidekick.
[41:26]
Mm-hmm.
Elliott Kalan
[41:27]
Let's see,
[41:28]
I wrote down-
[41:28]
And you
[41:28]
wouldn't be
[41:29]
thrown off
[41:29]
by the fact
[41:30]
that he's
[41:30]
naked except
[41:31]
for a belt.
Dan McCoy
[41:33]
Oh,
[41:33]
it's a bandolier,
[41:35]
right?
[41:35]
A bandolier,
[41:36]
yeah.
[41:36]
It's a bandolier.
[41:36]
It's a bandolier,
[41:37]
yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[41:37]
I mean,
[41:38]
if anything,
[41:38]
that's weirder.
[41:39]
I mean,
[41:39]
the fact that
[41:39]
Salacious Crumb
[41:40]
is naked,
[41:41]
but he's just
[41:41]
naked.
[41:42]
But if Salacious
[41:42]
Crumb was
[41:43]
wearing like
[41:43]
naked but with
[41:44]
a hat on,
Dan McCoy
[41:44]
that would be
[41:45]
weirder.
[41:45]
Yeah.
[41:46]
I mean,
[41:46]
do you think
[41:47]
of like dogs
[41:48]
as being naked?
[41:49]
All the time.
[41:50]
All the time,
[41:50]
yeah.
[41:51]
Yeah,
Stuart Wellington
[41:51]
that's what he
Elliott Kalan
[41:58]
has a ton of
[41:59]
sex jokes in it.
[41:59]
So,
[42:00]
yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[42:01]
I wrote down
[42:02]
gonk droid.
[42:03]
So,
[42:04]
yeah,
[42:04]
I guess that's
[42:04]
who I would
[42:05]
pick.
[42:05]
Sweet choice.
[42:05]
Sweet choice.
[42:06]
Also very
[42:06]
emotionally supportive.
Elliott Kalan
[42:08]
Okay.
[42:09]
Now,
[42:09]
I'm imagining
[42:10]
someone who
[42:11]
just got dumped
[42:12]
and they're just
[42:12]
eating ice cream
[42:13]
and just
[42:13]
talking out
[42:14]
their troubles
[42:15]
to gonk.
[42:15]
And every time
[42:16]
gonk goes,
[42:16]
gonk,
[42:17]
it's like he's
[42:17]
saying,
[42:17]
I hear you.
[42:18]
I hear you.
[42:19]
I hear you.
[42:19]
Yeah,
[42:19]
yeah.
[42:19]
I see myself
Stuart Wellington
[42:20]
reflected in his
[42:21]
gonks.
[42:22]
I've been there.
[42:23]
So,
[42:23]
the next round,
[42:24]
we got Dominic
[42:25]
Toretto,
[42:27]
Letty,
[42:29]
Brian.
[42:31]
I gotta say,
[42:31]
I don't know
[42:32]
the series well
[42:32]
enough to know
[42:33]
the other characters.
[42:34]
You went to
[42:34]
the Universal
[42:35]
Studios,
[42:36]
right?
[42:36]
I did,
[42:37]
but it was
[42:37]
so incomprehensible.
Dan McCoy
[42:39]
I mean,
[42:39]
I'm just gonna,
[42:40]
this one,
[42:40]
I'm just gonna go
[42:41]
with the character
[42:42]
who I think
[42:42]
I would like
[42:43]
the most.
[42:44]
I would say
[42:44]
Letty.
[42:45]
Letty,
Stuart Wellington
[42:45]
okay,
[42:46]
that makes sense.
[42:46]
Yeah,
[42:46]
that's a good call.
Elliott Kalan
[42:49]
Elliot?
[42:49]
You know what?
[42:50]
He's not one of the
[42:51]
ones I think you
[42:51]
mentioned,
[42:52]
but I'm gonna go
[42:52]
with Hobbes.
[42:53]
I love that
[42:53]
adorable tiger.
[42:54]
I love that
[42:55]
sometimes he's
[42:55]
stuffed animal
[42:56]
and sometimes
[42:56]
he's not.
[42:57]
And so,
[42:58]
yeah,
[42:58]
I'm just gonna
[42:58]
go with Hobbes.
[42:59]
I'll feed him
[42:59]
all the tuna
[43:00]
sandwiches he wants.
[43:01]
He can pounce
[43:01]
on me when I'm
[43:02]
coming home
[43:03]
from school
[43:03]
any day.
Stuart Wellington
[43:04]
Mm-hmm.
[43:05]
And I wrote
[43:05]
down Roman
[43:06]
because he's
[43:07]
just gonna keep
[43:07]
me in stitches
[43:08]
the whole time,
[43:09]
you know?
[43:09]
He's so funny.
[43:10]
Okay,
[43:10]
next round
[43:11]
of fictional
[43:12]
characters,
[43:12]
we have
[43:13]
filmmaker
[43:13]
Agnes Varda,
[43:15]
filmmaker
[43:16]
Paul Thomas
[43:17]
Anderson.
[43:17]
Okay,
Elliott Kalan
[43:18]
so it's not
[43:18]
quite fictional.
[43:19]
Filmmaker
Stuart Wellington
[43:19]
Brian De Palma.
Elliott Kalan
[43:22]
Okay,
[43:22]
so this is
[43:23]
for the amazing
[43:24]
race.
[43:25]
Yes.
[43:27]
I mean,
[43:28]
I'm gonna go,
[43:28]
I gotta go,
Stuart Wellington
[43:29]
you're taking them
[43:30]
on a modern
[43:31]
amazing race.
Elliott Kalan
[43:32]
Okay,
[43:32]
I gotta go with
[43:33]
Agnes Varda,
[43:34]
not just because
[43:35]
I like her movies
[43:36]
the most of those,
[43:37]
but also,
[43:38]
she can speak
[43:38]
multiple languages.
[43:40]
She'll be able
[43:40]
to get us around
[43:41]
as opposed to
[43:41]
Brian De Palma
[43:42]
who is a creep
[43:43]
and Paul Thomas
[43:44]
Anderson who,
[43:45]
I don't know
[43:45]
enough about
[43:46]
his personal
[43:46]
life,
[43:47]
honestly.
Dan McCoy
[43:47]
Let's be
[43:48]
clear,
[43:50]
De Palma
[43:50]
makes movies
[43:51]
that have
[43:51]
a lot of
[43:52]
perviness in it.
[43:54]
There's not
[43:54]
been scandal
[43:56]
around De Palma.
Elliott Kalan
[43:56]
I guess the creepiest
[43:58]
thing he ever
[43:59]
did was set up
[43:59]
a camera to
[44:00]
catch his dad
[44:00]
having an affair
[44:01]
when he was a kid.
[44:02]
You're right.
[44:02]
He's not a creep
[44:04]
in the way that
[44:04]
we say that
[44:05]
a predator is a creep.
[44:06]
That's like normal
[44:06]
Fablemans type shit
[44:06]
there,
[44:07]
dude.
[44:07]
No,
[44:08]
well,
[44:08]
the difference
[44:08]
in Fablemans
[44:09]
was that
[44:09]
the whole family
[44:10]
was in on it.
[44:10]
That the dad
[44:11]
was like,
[44:11]
get that camera
[44:12]
running,
[44:12]
I want you to
[44:13]
capture your
[44:14]
mom's sexy
[44:15]
bod on camera.
Dan McCoy
[44:19]
I'm also going
[44:20]
to go with
[44:20]
Agnes Vardy
[44:21]
because I feel
[44:21]
like she seems
[44:23]
like the most
[44:23]
down to earth
[44:24]
of them.
[44:25]
She did direct
[44:26]
Down to Earth
[44:27]
starring Chris Rock.
[44:28]
Useful in a race
[44:30]
in a way that
[44:31]
the others
[44:31]
are maybe
[44:33]
too into movies.
Stuart Wellington
[44:34]
Yeah,
[44:34]
I wrote down
[44:36]
Werner Herzog.
[44:37]
Oh,
[44:38]
yeah,
[44:38]
the man who
[44:38]
dragged a ship
[44:40]
across the jungle.
[44:42]
He's been all
[44:42]
over the place.
[44:43]
He's lived
[44:44]
a thousand lives.
[44:46]
Okay,
[44:46]
and then our
[44:47]
last category
[44:48]
in the lightning
[44:49]
round,
[44:50]
we got
[44:50]
Littlefoot
[44:51]
Sarah
[44:53]
Petrie,
[44:55]
the dinosaurs
[44:57]
from Land
[44:58]
Before Time.
[44:59]
Now,
[44:59]
this is an issue
Elliott Kalan
[45:01]
where I'm having
[45:01]
another issue here
[45:02]
because I want
[45:02]
to hang out
[45:03]
with Petrie,
[45:04]
but he's not
[45:04]
going to be
[45:05]
that helpful.
[45:06]
I'm going to
[45:07]
go with Sarah.
[45:07]
I feel like
[45:08]
she's got a big
[45:09]
attitude.
[45:09]
We're going to
[45:09]
disagree,
[45:10]
but I can count
[45:11]
on her in the
[45:11]
clutch,
[45:12]
and she's got
[45:13]
confidence.
[45:13]
She's going to
[45:14]
build her way
[45:14]
through the
[45:14]
situations and
[45:15]
not get scared.
[45:16]
Yeah,
[45:16]
I'm going to
[45:16]
say Sarah.
Dan McCoy
[45:17]
This is not
[45:18]
a movie
[45:19]
I'm really
[45:19]
that familiar
[45:20]
with.
[45:20]
Can I
[45:21]
choose Zendaya
[45:22]
as Michi?
[45:23]
Is that
[45:23]
possible?
Stuart Wellington
[45:25]
I was just
[45:27]
wondering,
[45:27]
maybe you
[45:27]
were more
[45:28]
familiar with
[45:28]
the
[45:28]
ancillary
[45:29]
TV show
[45:30]
spinoff
[45:31]
or the
[45:32]
other films.
Dan McCoy
[45:33]
They made
[45:33]
like a ton
[45:35]
of them.
[45:35]
I don't
[45:36]
know.
[45:36]
I think I
[45:36]
watched
[45:37]
half of the
[45:39]
original one
[45:40]
because I
[45:40]
liked Don
[45:41]
Bluth and I
[45:41]
got bored.
[45:45]
Stuart's
[45:45]
choking.
[45:46]
He's so
[45:46]
shocked that I
[45:46]
couldn't make
[45:47]
the
Elliott Kalan
[45:47]
whole
[45:48]
thing.
[45:48]
Not an
[45:49]
uncommon
[45:49]
experience
[45:50]
with a Don
[45:50]
Bluth film,
[45:51]
I have to
[45:51]
admit.
Stuart Wellington
[45:52]
I wrote
[45:52]
down,
[45:53]
of course,
[45:53]
the sharp
[45:54]
tooth because
[45:55]
he's the
[45:55]
bad guy and
[45:56]
requires all
[45:57]
the other
Dan McCoy
[45:57]
characters to
[45:58]
defeat him.
[45:59]
It's pretty
Stuart Wellington
[45:59]
simple.
[46:00]
The most
[46:00]
powerful,
[46:01]
yeah,
[46:01]
for sure.
[46:01]
Okay,
[46:02]
so that's the
[46:03]
lightning round.
[46:03]
Next stage.
[46:05]
Last time we
[46:06]
had a big
[46:06]
writer's strike,
[46:08]
we got
[46:08]
ourselves a
[46:09]
reality show
[46:10]
president out
[46:10]
of the deal.
[46:11]
Now let's
[46:12]
look at
[46:13]
past
[46:13]
US.
Elliott Kalan
[46:13]
I'm not
[46:14]
going to lay
[46:14]
that at the
[46:16]
foot of the
[46:16]
writers.
Stuart Wellington
[46:18]
Oh,
[46:18]
interesting.
[46:19]
Okay,
[46:19]
why would
[46:20]
you,
[46:21]
do you have
[46:22]
a dog in
[46:23]
this fight?
[46:24]
What's going
[46:24]
on?
[46:25]
Yeah,
[46:26]
a naked
[46:26]
dog,
[46:27]
yeah.
[46:27]
I want
[46:28]
to look
[46:29]
at past
[46:29]
presidents
[46:30]
and guess
[46:32]
if they
[46:33]
had a
[46:34]
reality show,
[46:35]
what would
[46:35]
it have
[46:35]
been?
Elliott Kalan
[46:37]
Okay,
[46:38]
now it's
[46:38]
my time to
[46:38]
shine.
[46:39]
Dan thought
[46:39]
he was out
[46:39]
of his depth
[46:40]
with the land
[46:40]
before time.
Stuart Wellington
[46:41]
President Bill
[46:42]
Clinton,
[46:43]
what reality
[46:43]
show would
[46:44]
he have
[46:44]
hosted?
[46:45]
F-Boy Island.
[46:46]
F-Boy Island.
[46:48]
That's actually
[46:48]
pretty good.
[46:50]
Because he
[46:50]
would also
[46:50]
play saxophone
[46:52]
as like the
[46:52]
opening or the
[46:53]
closing.
[46:53]
Wait,
Dan McCoy
[46:54]
are these,
[46:54]
we have to
[46:55]
say real
[46:56]
shows?
[46:57]
Oh,
[46:57]
okay.
[46:58]
You can make
[46:59]
up one.
Elliott Kalan
[46:59]
It's not a
[47:00]
real game,
[47:00]
Dan.
[47:01]
You can do
[47:01]
what you
[47:01]
want,
[47:01]
yeah.
Dan McCoy
[47:03]
How do you
[47:04]
insult Stu's
[47:05]
game like that?
[47:06]
They're not
[47:06]
calling it real.
[47:07]
It's not a
Elliott Kalan
[47:07]
real game.
[47:08]
So the next
[47:09]
one,
[47:09]
okay,
[47:09]
we've already
[47:09]
kind of
[47:10]
figured out.
[47:10]
When Stu
[47:11]
makes a real
[47:11]
game,
[47:11]
I know I'm
[47:12]
going to be
[47:12]
rolling dice
[47:13]
and I'm
[47:14]
going to have
[47:14]
worms in my
[47:15]
head by the
[47:15]
end of it.
Stuart Wellington
[47:17]
So we got
[47:18]
President Richard
[47:20]
Nixon.
[47:21]
What was his
[47:21]
reality show?
Dan McCoy
[47:26]
What was his
[47:27]
reality show?
Stuart Wellington
[47:29]
Probably not a
[47:29]
dating show.
[47:31]
No.
[47:32]
There's,
Dan McCoy
[47:34]
I guess
[47:35]
Liars
[47:36]
Poker isn't
[47:36]
really a
[47:37]
reality show.
[47:37]
It's a
[47:38]
game show.
[47:38]
Again,
[47:38]
it doesn't
[47:39]
have to be
[47:39]
a real
[47:39]
show.
[47:40]
Okay.
[47:41]
I'm going to
Elliott Kalan
[47:42]
let Dan swing
[47:42]
on this rope
[47:43]
for a little
[47:43]
bit longer
[47:44]
before I jump
Dan McCoy
[47:44]
in.
[47:44]
It's going
[47:45]
to be a
[47:46]
show about,
[47:48]
did he hold
[47:49]
checkers up
[47:49]
by his ears?
Elliott Kalan
[47:51]
No,
[47:51]
you're confusing
[47:52]
two different
[47:52]
presidential dog
[47:53]
things.
[47:54]
Nixon mentioned
[47:55]
checkers in
[47:56]
a speech.
[47:57]
Lyndon
[47:57]
Johnson held
[47:58]
his dogs
[47:58]
up by the
[47:58]
ears.
[47:59]
Okay.
Dan McCoy
[48:00]
Which is,
[48:01]
again,
Elliott Kalan
[48:01]
that's two
[48:03]
presidents in
[48:03]
a row who
[48:04]
have dog
[48:05]
relationships.
[48:05]
Those dogs
[48:06]
both naked.
Dan McCoy
[48:08]
America's
[48:09]
next top
[48:10]
Richard Nixon
[48:11]
impersonator.
[48:12]
This is an
[48:13]
impression everyone
[48:13]
did back in
[48:14]
the day.
[48:16]
There's just a
[48:17]
whole season
[48:18]
of just
[48:19]
challenges to
[48:21]
see how
[48:21]
closely you
[48:22]
can impersonate
[48:23]
President Richard
[48:24]
Nixon.
[48:25]
Hollywood
Stuart Wellington
[48:25]
Squares
[48:26]
lineup.
[48:28]
Yeah.
[48:28]
Okay,
[48:29]
Elliot,
[48:29]
how do you
[48:29]
feel about
[48:30]
this?
[48:30]
Do you
[48:32]
got a
[48:32]
rebuttal
[48:32]
or do you
[48:33]
want to
[48:33]
move on
[48:33]
to the
[48:33]
next
[48:34]
president?
Elliott Kalan
[48:34]
The only
[48:34]
thing I
[48:35]
had was,
[48:36]
this is more
[48:37]
of a game
[48:37]
show.
[48:37]
It's called
[48:38]
Are You
[48:38]
More
[48:39]
Conservative
[48:40]
Than
[48:40]
Richard Nixon?
[48:41]
Because at
[48:42]
the time,
[48:43]
he was the
[48:43]
epitome of
[48:44]
American
[48:44]
conservatism,
[48:45]
and yet he
[48:46]
signed the
[48:47]
law creating
[48:47]
the EPA.
[48:48]
He did a
[48:48]
number of
[48:49]
things like
[48:49]
that.
[48:50]
Now,
[48:50]
at the same
[48:51]
time,
[48:51]
he was a
[48:51]
warmonger.
[48:52]
I feel like
[48:52]
we're getting
[48:53]
some vegetables
[48:53]
in here.
[48:54]
He was a
[48:54]
warmonger who
[48:55]
killed many,
[48:55]
many people
[48:56]
and did
[48:56]
break the
[48:57]
law routinely
[48:58]
in order to
[48:59]
undermine the
[48:59]
democratic process.
[49:00]
But I feel
[49:01]
like that's
[49:01]
just the
[49:02]
thing
[49:02]
Republican
[49:02]
presidents do
[49:03]
before breakfast
[49:04]
these days.
Dan McCoy
[49:05]
Oh!
Elliott Kalan
[49:06]
And democratic
[49:07]
presidents to
[49:08]
a lesser
[49:08]
extent when
[49:08]
it comes to
[49:09]
killing a lot
[49:09]
of people
[49:09]
overseas.
[49:10]
Yeah,
[49:10]
that's true.
[49:11]
So you'd
[49:12]
have that
[49:12]
one.
[49:12]
And Jeff
[49:13]
Foxworthy
[49:13]
would still
[49:13]
host it.
Stuart Wellington
[49:14]
Okay,
[49:15]
Teddy Roosevelt.
[49:16]
What's
[49:16]
Teddy Bear's
[49:18]
little reality
[49:19]
show?
[49:19]
What are we
[49:19]
doing here?
[49:21]
I feel like
[49:21]
it's a,
[49:22]
I'm going to
[49:22]
jump in here.
[49:23]
It's got to
[49:23]
be some kind
[49:24]
of like
[49:24]
strongman
[49:25]
show.
[49:25]
Like an
[49:26]
American Ninja
[49:27]
Warrior type
[49:28]
climbing on
[49:29]
mooses and
[49:29]
stuff.
Elliott Kalan
[49:30]
If I was
[49:30]
being harsh
[49:31]
and cynical,
[49:31]
I'd say it's
[49:32]
called The
[49:32]
Amazing Race
[49:32]
and it's
[49:33]
about how
[49:33]
great
[49:33]
white
[49:33]
Anglo-Saxon
[49:34]
culture was
[49:35]
because he
[49:35]
was a man
[49:36]
of the same
[49:37]
racial prejudices
[49:38]
of his time
[49:38]
to a certain
[49:38]
extent.
[49:39]
But I
[49:40]
actually like
[49:41]
Theodore Roosevelt
[49:41]
a lot.
[49:41]
So I'm
[49:41]
going to
[49:41]
say that
[49:42]
it's called
[49:43]
political
[49:48]
boxing.
[49:49]
And it's
[49:50]
just him
[49:50]
boxing other
[49:51]
people in
[49:51]
politics.
Stuart Wellington
[49:52]
Oh,
[49:53]
wow.
[49:53]
Okay.
[49:53]
So I
[49:54]
mean it
[49:54]
limits your
[49:55]
talent pool,
[49:55]
but I feel
[49:56]
like there'd
[49:57]
be people
[49:57]
available.
[49:58]
But the
Elliott Kalan
[49:58]
thing is
[49:58]
you've got
[49:59]
a team of
[50:00]
eight other
[50:00]
politicians
[50:01]
and you see
[50:02]
them training
[50:02]
over the
[50:03]
season.
[50:03]
And they're
[50:04]
in bouts
[50:04]
against each
[50:05]
other to
[50:05]
get to the
[50:06]
big bout
[50:06]
when they're
[50:07]
finally up
[50:07]
against TR.
[50:08]
And TR is
[50:08]
like Tom
[50:10]
Colicchio
[50:10]
in Top Chef.
[50:11]
He's going
[50:11]
into the
[50:11]
gym and
[50:12]
watching them
[50:12]
exercise and
[50:13]
kind of
[50:14]
playing subtle
[50:14]
mind games
[50:15]
to undermine
[50:15]
them while
[50:16]
they're
[50:16]
preparing.
[50:17]
And then
[50:17]
they're up
[50:18]
against each
[50:18]
other and
[50:19]
the ultimate
[50:19]
goal is to
[50:20]
finally battle
[50:21]
Theodore Roosevelt
[50:22]
at the very
[50:22]
end of it.
Dan McCoy
[50:23]
And the secret
[50:24]
is when he
[50:25]
gets in the
[50:25]
ring, he just
Elliott Kalan
[50:26]
shoots him in
[50:26]
the face with
[50:27]
a rifle.
[50:28]
So you can't
[50:29]
beat Teddy
[50:29]
Roosevelt.
Dan McCoy
[50:30]
I'm going
[50:31]
to go with
[50:33]
He's an
[50:33]
outdoorsman.
[50:35]
It's going
[50:35]
to be called
[50:35]
Meerkat
[50:38]
Manor.
[50:39]
It'll be
[50:39]
called
[50:40]
Teddy the
[50:41]
Bear.
[50:42]
And it's
[50:43]
just Theodore
[50:44]
Roosevelt lives
[50:45]
with a family
[50:46]
of bears for
[50:47]
a year
[50:47]
pretending to
[50:48]
be one of
[50:49]
them.
[50:50]
Just living
[50:51]
amongst them.
[50:52]
Living, loving,
[50:53]
laughing.
Elliott Kalan
[50:53]
It's like a
[50:53]
lifestyle reality
[50:54]
show.
[50:55]
Yeah, yeah.
[50:55]
It's like
[50:55]
1800 House,
[50:57]
but it's
Dan McCoy
[50:57]
about bears.
[50:58]
It's lifestyle
[50:58]
porn.
[50:59]
You want to
[50:59]
live like
[50:59]
bears, you
[51:00]
know, all
[51:00]
that fresh
[51:01]
salmon.
[51:02]
You can
[51:03]
shit wherever
[51:03]
you want,
[51:04]
usually in the
[51:05]
woods.
Stuart Wellington
[51:05]
Only in the
[51:07]
woods.
[51:07]
Those fucking
[51:08]
Charmin bears
[51:09]
are going crazy
[51:09]
with that thing.
[51:10]
It's true.
[51:11]
They're pooping
[51:12]
all over the
[51:12]
place.
[51:13]
Their identity
[51:14]
is defined
[51:15]
by it.
Elliott Kalan
[51:18]
The bear is
[51:19]
in therapy
[51:19]
and he's
[51:20]
like, I
[51:20]
just want
[51:21]
to be seen
[51:21]
as a bear
[51:22]
who poops,
[51:23]
not a
[51:23]
pooping bear.
Dan McCoy
[51:24]
I feel like
[51:25]
the recent
[51:26]
commercials have
[51:27]
gotten even
[51:28]
more explicit
[51:29]
about the
[51:30]
pooping of
[51:31]
the bears
[51:32]
in a way
[51:33]
that suggests
[51:34]
to me.
Elliott Kalan
[51:35]
Tell me,
[51:36]
Clarice,
[51:36]
do you still
[51:36]
hear the
[51:37]
pooping of
[51:37]
the bears?
[51:38]
I just feel
[51:39]
like, they
Dan McCoy
[51:40]
must know
[51:41]
how hated
[51:42]
these goddamn
[51:43]
bears are
[51:44]
and they're
[51:44]
just swinging
[51:45]
it over to
[51:45]
hate clicks.
[51:46]
I do not
[51:46]
think they're
[51:47]
that hated
Elliott Kalan
[51:47]
outside of a
[51:48]
small group
[51:49]
of people.
[51:49]
I think the
[51:50]
mainstream
[51:51]
audience is
[51:52]
both happy
[51:53]
to finally be
[51:54]
validated as,
[51:55]
you know what?
[51:56]
Everybody's
[51:56]
hoops.
[51:57]
Shit comes out
[51:57]
of our butts
[51:58]
and we have
[51:59]
to clean it
[51:59]
up and it
[52:00]
happens to
[52:00]
everybody.
[52:01]
Yes, they're
[52:02]
using a bear,
[52:02]
but it's also
[52:03]
like, imagine
[52:03]
how difficult
[52:04]
it is for a
[52:04]
bear.
[52:06]
It's a mess.
[52:07]
It's a mess
[52:07]
without toilet
[52:08]
paper.
[52:08]
It makes me
[52:09]
feel better,
[52:09]
but you know
[52:10]
what?
[52:10]
All nature's
[52:10]
creatures,
[52:11]
you ingest,
[52:12]
you must
[52:12]
excrete,
[52:13]
and finally
[52:13]
someone's
[52:14]
admitting it
[52:14]
instead of
[52:14]
just talking
[52:16]
around it.
[52:17]
Don't talk
[52:18]
about ladies
[52:19]
squeezing the
[52:20]
toilet paper
[52:21]
in the supermarket.
[52:22]
That doesn't
[52:22]
tell me what it
[52:23]
does.
[52:23]
It is not just
Dan McCoy
[52:24]
that the bears
[52:25]
are open about
[52:26]
pooping.
[52:26]
They're very
[52:26]
smug about it.
[52:27]
be open about
[52:28]
pooping.
[52:29]
That's fine.
[52:30]
It's the fact
[52:31]
that the whole
[52:32]
family really
[52:33]
seems to get
[52:35]
off on talking
[52:36]
about it.
[52:36]
They're so happy
[52:37]
to fucking talk
[52:38]
about their
[52:39]
bathroom habits.
[52:40]
Get out of
[52:40]
here,
[52:40]
Sherman Bears.
[52:41]
Do you think
Stuart Wellington
[52:41]
there should be
[52:42]
a commercial
[52:43]
where they just
[52:43]
show an actual
[52:44]
bear lazily
[52:45]
taking a shit
[52:46]
in the woods?
[52:47]
And then it
[52:48]
cuts to one
[52:49]
of the animated
[52:50]
ones who's
[52:50]
like, not me,
[52:51]
buddy.
[52:52]
Sherman.
Elliott Kalan
[52:54]
You do it.
[52:55]
Admit it.
Stuart Wellington
[52:57]
Okay, so.
[52:58]
We're nothing
[52:59]
more than
[52:59]
animals in
[53:00]
clothes.
[53:01]
You know,
[53:02]
I had like
[53:02]
ten more
[53:03]
presidents,
[53:03]
but why don't
[53:03]
we jump to
[53:04]
the final
[53:04]
segment here,
[53:05]
guys?
[53:05]
Yeah.
[53:06]
This is going
[53:07]
to require a
[53:08]
little bit of
[53:08]
audience
[53:08]
participation.
[53:09]
We're going
[53:09]
to put up
[53:09]
a poll on
[53:10]
Twitter?
[53:12]
I don't know,
[53:12]
Dan,
[53:12]
figure it out.
[53:13]
Let's see if
[53:13]
Twitter still
[53:13]
exists by the
[53:14]
time the
[53:14]
episode comes
[53:15]
out.
[53:15]
Who knows?
Dan McCoy
[53:16]
Let's see if
[53:16]
we can stomach
[53:17]
doing anything.
Stuart Wellington
[53:18]
We have a
[53:18]
new,
[53:19]
this is another
[53:20]
game,
[53:21]
and I want
[53:21]
people to vote
[53:22]
on which they
[53:22]
like the best.
[53:24]
Each of us
[53:25]
is going
[53:25]
to pitch
[53:26]
a reality
[53:27]
television show
[53:28]
that the
[53:28]
other two
[53:29]
Flophouse hosts
[53:30]
will have to
[53:31]
host.
Dan McCoy
[53:32]
Hey, hey,
[53:32]
let's say we'll
[53:33]
do it on our
[53:33]
Instagram.
[53:34]
Drive people to
[53:35]
the Instagram.
[53:36]
Need more
[53:36]
people on the
[53:37]
Instagram anyway.
[53:38]
You can vote
[53:38]
on the Instagram,
[53:39]
yeah.
[53:40]
Okay, so.
Elliott Kalan
[53:41]
The other two
[53:43]
will host.
[53:43]
They don't
[53:43]
appear on.
[53:44]
They're not
[53:45]
contestants.
[53:46]
They're not
[53:46]
contestants.
[53:47]
They are hosting
[53:47]
it, okay?
Stuart Wellington
[53:48]
And you,
[53:49]
after selling
[53:50]
the pitch,
[53:51]
don't have to
[53:51]
be involved
[53:52]
ever again.
[53:53]
Okay.
[53:54]
So,
[53:56]
I,
[53:57]
why don't I
[53:57]
go first,
[53:58]
since I wrote
[53:59]
this down
[53:59]
and have an
[54:00]
advantage.
[54:01]
I think
[54:03]
I would like
[54:04]
to see
[54:05]
a reality
[54:07]
show called
[54:08]
The Flophouse
[54:09]
where Dan and
[54:09]
Elliot spend
[54:10]
a season
[54:11]
renovating
[54:13]
a home.
[54:15]
Renovating
[54:16]
a beat-up
[54:17]
old house
[54:18]
and they have
[54:18]
to agree
[54:19]
on all
[54:20]
the decisions
[54:21]
that have
[54:22]
to be made.
[54:23]
They have to
[54:24]
work within a
[54:24]
limited budget.
[54:26]
Actually,
[54:26]
and maybe,
[54:27]
maybe it'll
[54:27]
be a hotel.
[54:28]
Maybe it's
[54:28]
a hotel.
[54:31]
Or,
[54:32]
yeah,
[54:32]
you know,
[54:33]
similar,
[54:33]
yeah,
[54:33]
yeah,
[54:34]
that's what
[54:34]
I'm doing.
[54:34]
Yeah.
[54:35]
So,
[54:35]
The Flophouse,
[54:36]
a show where
[54:36]
Dan and
[54:37]
Elliot have
[54:37]
to work
[54:38]
together to
[54:39]
renovate
[54:40]
a hotel.
Elliott Kalan
[54:42]
Okay,
[54:43]
I'm going to
[54:43]
pitch one
[54:44]
called The Flophelf.
[54:45]
And this one,
[54:47]
Stu and Dan,
[54:48]
there's a stable
[54:49]
of minor
[54:50]
celebrity
[54:50]
contestants,
[54:51]
and Stu
[54:52]
is trying
[54:52]
to get
[54:53]
them to
[54:53]
bulk up
[54:54]
and weight
[54:55]
lift,
[54:55]
while Dan
[54:56]
is trying
[54:56]
to get
[54:56]
them to
[54:57]
not do
[54:58]
that and
[54:58]
just sit
[55:00]
and watch
[55:01]
kind of
[55:02]
70s
[55:03]
Italian
[55:03]
exploitation
[55:04]
cartoons.
[55:05]
And you'll
[55:06]
have to see
[55:06]
which celebrities
[55:07]
are going to be
[55:08]
open to which
[55:08]
things.
[55:09]
And you can
[55:09]
also,
[55:10]
they all live
[55:10]
in one house
[55:11]
together,
[55:12]
and it's called
[55:13]
The Flop
[55:13]
Hospital.
[55:14]
And Dan and
[55:15]
Stu,
[55:15]
you can wake
[55:15]
them up at
[55:16]
any hour of
[55:16]
the day or
[55:17]
night and get
[55:18]
them either
[55:18]
exercising
[55:19]
or
[55:19]
chillaxing.
[55:22]
Yep.
[55:23]
And so,
[55:24]
at the very
[55:26]
end,
[55:26]
you see which,
[55:27]
and the celebrity
[55:28]
that can best
[55:29]
create a balance
[55:30]
in their life.
[55:31]
They aren't
[55:31]
super bulked up,
[55:32]
and they are not
[55:33]
just a couch potato,
[55:34]
but instead,
[55:35]
that they are
[55:35]
enjoying life
[55:36]
to the fullest
[55:36]
in both ways.
[55:37]
They win the
[55:38]
chance to be
[55:40]
the future face
[55:41]
of Prego
[55:42]
spaghetti sauce.
Stuart Wellington
[55:43]
Oh,
[55:43]
so there is
[55:44]
a competition
[55:44]
element.
[55:45]
Yeah,
[55:45]
there's a competition
[55:46]
element.
[55:46]
I kind of like
[55:46]
this.
[55:47]
Okay.
[55:47]
Yeah.
[55:48]
And that's
[55:48]
the flop
[55:49]
health.
[55:49]
The flop
[55:50]
health,
[55:50]
yeah.
Dan McCoy
[55:51]
I'd just
[55:52]
like to say,
[55:53]
I've started
[55:54]
going to yoga
[55:54]
classes three
[55:55]
times a week,
[55:56]
so I'm no
[55:57]
longer.
[55:58]
This is the
[55:58]
Dan persona.
[55:59]
I just want
[56:00]
to,
[56:00]
I mean,
[56:00]
I would
[56:01]
rather be
[56:02]
watching Jala
[56:03]
movies,
[56:03]
but anyway,
[56:06]
I'm going to,
[56:08]
my pitch is
[56:10]
going to be
[56:10]
called Elliot
[56:11]
and Stuart
[56:12]
Metal Nerds.
[56:13]
Okay.
[56:14]
Okay.
[56:15]
It's going
[56:15]
to be like
[56:16]
you will
[56:17]
travel,
[56:17]
and to
[56:19]
a bunch
[56:19]
of metal
[56:20]
concerts
[56:21]
across the
[56:21]
land.
[56:22]
Part of
[56:23]
it's like
[56:23]
a travel
[56:24]
show,
[56:24]
like just
[56:25]
being in
[56:25]
these towns,
[56:26]
we see
[56:26]
you like
[56:26]
guys fuck
[56:27]
around,
[56:27]
but then
[56:28]
you like
[56:28]
hang out
[56:29]
with the
[56:29]
band
[56:29]
afterward.
[56:31]
and part
[56:32]
of the
[56:32]
fun of
[56:33]
the show
[56:33]
is Stuart
[56:34]
always
[56:34]
trying to
[56:35]
keep
[56:35]
Elliot
[56:35]
out at
[56:37]
the party
[56:37]
as long
[56:39]
as he
[56:39]
possibly
[56:39]
can
[56:40]
and
[56:41]
seeing
[56:41]
Elliot
[56:42]
get
[56:42]
tireder
[56:43]
and more
[56:43]
uncomfortable
[56:43]
with everything
[56:44]
that's happening
[56:45]
around him.
[56:46]
Tell me about it.
Stuart Wellington
[56:47]
I got to go
[56:47]
back to my hotel
[56:48]
room to call
[56:49]
my family.
[56:49]
I'm like,
[56:49]
I don't think
[56:50]
so,
[56:50]
dude.
[56:50]
We got to go
[56:51]
talk to these
[56:52]
guys from
[56:52]
Scandinavia.
[56:53]
The Family
[56:54]
of Metal.
[56:56]
Wow,
[56:56]
that sounds
[56:57]
fun.
[56:57]
Those are
[56:57]
three fun
[56:58]
ideas.
[56:59]
So put
[56:59]
on your
[57:00]
votes over
[57:00]
at the
[57:00]
Flap House
[57:01]
Instagram
[57:01]
and then
[57:02]
we'll
[57:03]
make it.
[57:04]
I guess
[57:04]
we'll have
[57:05]
to do it.
Elliott Kalan
[57:07]
And something
[57:08]
I should
[57:08]
mention before
[57:08]
we go,
[57:08]
this is not
[57:09]
a joke,
[57:10]
although we're
[57:10]
ending on a
[57:11]
funny note,
[57:12]
is that even
[57:12]
reality shows
[57:13]
involve people
[57:14]
who are
[57:14]
crafting the
[57:15]
narrative.
[57:16]
Those shows
[57:16]
are written
[57:17]
and so they
[57:18]
should be
[57:18]
covered by
[57:19]
the Writers
[57:19]
Guild of
[57:19]
America and
[57:20]
someday soon
[57:21]
hopefully they
[57:21]
will.
[57:21]
Reality shows
[57:22]
you are not
[57:22]
our enemies.
[57:23]
You are
[57:23]
instead our
[57:24]
brothers in
[57:24]
television
[57:24]
entertainment
[57:25]
production and
[57:26]
we hope to
[57:27]
absorb you
[57:27]
into the
[57:28]
fold and
[57:28]
our loving
[57:29]
embrace and
[57:30]
our health
[57:30]
plan sometime
[57:33]
soon.
Stuart Wellington
[57:34]
Okay,
[57:34]
so this has
[57:35]
been another
[57:36]
astounding
[57:37]
episode of
[57:38]
Revelations on
[57:39]
Two Boy
[57:40]
talking tube to
[57:41]
two dudes
[57:41]
today.
[57:42]
Yes way.
[57:43]
I've been your
[57:44]
host,
[57:44]
two boys,
[57:45]
Stuart Wellington,
[57:45]
and I'm
[57:46]
joined by
[57:47]
Dan McCoy
[57:48]
and metal
[57:49]
nerd Elliot
[57:50]
Kalin.
[57:50]
Yay,
[57:51]
and we're on
[57:52]
the Maximum
[57:53]
Fun Network.
[57:53]
You can
[57:53]
check out
[57:54]
more shows.
[57:54]
You can
[57:55]
support us
[57:55]
over there.
[57:56]
Thanks so
[57:56]
much.
[57:57]
Thanks to
[57:57]
our producer
[57:58]
Howell Doughty,
[57:59]
Alex Smith,
[58:00]
for fixing this
[58:01]
whole thing up.
[58:02]
I think that's
[58:03]
it.
[58:03]
Bye.
[58:04]
Bye.
Elliott Kalan
[58:11]
Maximumfun.org.
S6
[58:13]
Comedy and
[58:14]
culture.
[58:15]
Artist owned.
[58:16]
Audience supported.
Description
It's exactly what it says in the title. What could possibly be clearer?
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