FH Mini 82 – Tuboy Talkin' Tube to 2 Dudes Today, Yes Way 2

[0:00] Hey there, clear out those ear holes, because we've got another Flophouse Mini for you to

[0:08] stick in your ear holes.

[0:15] Clear them out to stick something else in.

[0:17] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[0:18] You can make space for this.

[0:19] Yeah, clear out.

[0:20] Make some room.

[0:21] Okay.

[0:22] So this is a Flophouse Mini.

[0:23] It's a mini episode of the normally long Flophouse podcast where we watch a bad movie and talk

[0:28] about it.

[0:29] But instead, on one of these minis, we're going to spend slightly less time talking

[0:32] about whatever we want.

[0:33] And tonight we're going to be doing another episode of one of my favorite and one of your

[0:39] favorite shows.

[0:40] That's right.

[0:41] We're doing a little bit of Two Boy Talking Tube to Two Dudes Today.

[0:44] Yes way.

[0:45] Okay.

[0:46] Okay, indeed.

[0:47] Dan has given you verbal consent to appear in this mini.

[0:53] So if this is your first time checking out one of these episodes, Two Boy Talking Tube

[0:58] to Two Dudes Today, yes, way is where me, Stuart, a.k.a.

[1:02] Two Boy is going to be talking about tube.

[1:06] Television to two dudes.

[1:07] Which two?

[1:08] These two, Dan and Elliot.

[1:09] Okay.

[1:10] And we're doing it during the day because we recorded this one during the day instead

[1:13] of the night.

[1:14] And yes, way, because we need some confirmation here.

[1:16] We need some excitement.

[1:17] So before we get into the meat of this sandwich, while we're still on top of the bread, hang

[1:23] out on the bread.

[1:24] We're on top of the bread or in the bread.

[1:27] We're on top of the bread.

[1:28] We're on top of the bread.

[1:29] I'm on top of the bread looking down on the meat.

[1:33] And the only thing I have is some fast shit.

[1:36] What are you, Weird Al Yankovic?

[1:38] They call him Speed Al Yankovic.

[1:40] He's even faster than Weird Al.

[1:42] Yeah.

[1:43] So like, imagine.

[1:44] They call him Weird Speed Levitch.

[1:46] Because Speed Levitch is a weird guy.

[1:48] The songs aren't quite as polished or funny perhaps, but what do you want?

[1:52] I did them right away.

[1:56] Yeah, you can have it fast, good, or what's the other possible thing?

[2:01] Out of control.

[2:02] Or cheap.

[2:03] Yeah, yeah.

[2:04] You got it fast and cheap.

[2:06] This reminds me of Dan's hit song, Live in La Vida Roku, which had no lyrics.

[2:13] Yeah, I gave up after that.

[2:14] Oh man, the video's just the fucking Roku city backdrop.

[2:19] Well, real quick, while we're still on top of the bread of this sandwich.

[2:23] I forgot where we were.

[2:24] Thank you for reestablishing that.

[2:26] Yeah, it's almost seasoned.

[2:27] Thank you for billboarding them on a sandwich.

[2:30] Service is turned on.

[2:31] Yeah, so, yeah, yeah.

[2:33] Location exterior sandwich.

[2:35] I'm looking at a picture of a sandwich that says,

[2:37] You are here, and it's pointing to the top of the bread.

[2:39] Great.

[2:40] So before we get into this sandwich, I just want to point out real quick

[2:44] that again, we're going to be talking about television.

[2:46] And what is essential to television?

[2:49] That's right, writers.

[2:50] Writers are the ones who write it, and they're currently on Strike.

[2:53] Now, I'm not a member of the WGA.

[2:55] However, I like to consider myself an ally, and these two dudes are.

[3:01] So please, Ellie, I'm sure we're going to talk about it a little bit more,

[3:04] and we'll talk briefly about how you can support the writers that write

[3:08] the shows that you love.

[3:09] And I love, too, because that's what we're talking about today.

[3:11] We're talking, too, with two dudes and me.

[3:13] So, guys, we are right in the middle.

[3:18] We're recording this in the middle of the week when a bunch of series

[3:21] finales are coming out.

[3:24] The series finale for Succession dropped.

[3:26] The series finale of Barry dropped.

[3:28] The series finale for Mrs. Maisel dropped.

[3:31] I think the series finale of Ted Lasso dropped.

[3:35] Yeah.

[3:36] And it was all one big crossover.

[3:37] That was the amazing thing.

[3:38] You had to watch all of them.

[3:40] Yeah, if you don't watch them all, you're only getting half the story.

[3:43] Yeah.

[3:44] So what I want to talk about now, guys,

[3:46] this is going to require a little bit of work.

[3:48] So I hope you weren't planning on kicking up your heels and cooling out.

[3:51] Can I cool out without kicking up my heels?

[3:55] No, you can't cool out or kick up heels.

[3:57] You have to commit to doing zero.

[3:59] You got to heat up and punch down those heels.

[4:02] So we are not going to be spoiling any of the series finales that we have

[4:07] already mentioned.

[4:09] Not the least of which because I haven't watched any of them and don't know

[4:11] if I'm going to watch any of them.

[4:14] Well, if the second one is true,

[4:16] then it seems like you shouldn't care about spoilers.

[4:18] Yeah, then you should lick them up.

[4:20] You should be like the way I handled the later seasons,

[4:23] well, most of the seasons of Game of Thrones.

[4:25] It's just by reading spoilery reviews because I'm like,

[4:29] I don't want some rando telling me what happened on Game of Thrones.

[4:32] The books aren't even out yet.

[4:33] I don't know what's going to happen.

[4:35] You want a ronto telling you what happened on Game of Thrones.

[4:37] I would love a ronto to tell me.

[4:39] Probably not.

[4:40] Okay.

[4:41] So it would be charades.

[4:42] I imagine there's some,

[4:44] there's some cut scene from the special edition where the ronto turns the

[4:47] camera and says,

[4:48] it's a living and then poops on someone and it's all over.

[4:51] Poops into another dinosaur.

[4:53] No aliens mouth.

[4:54] And the aliens like it's a living.

[4:56] And then different aliens mouth.

[4:58] And I'm like,

[4:59] Oh my God.

[5:00] And that last day in the quantum realm,

[5:02] it poops into another alien's mouth.

[5:03] And that alien turns the camera and says,

[5:04] I do a different alien's mouth.

[5:06] And then it poops into another alien's mouth.

[5:07] And that alien turns the camera and says,

[5:08] I do it for pleasure.

[5:09] I pay for this that they're the ones.

[5:13] Yeah.

[5:14] I mean,

[5:15] I'm done.

[5:16] At the end of the day,

[5:17] there's nothing but happiness.

[5:18] So this is 30% satisfied.

[5:24] We're going to do a little,

[5:26] little exercise here since I'm with two professional writers.

[5:30] What I would like,

[5:31] what I want to do.

[5:32] Ironically,

[5:33] not a lot of exercise in that profession.

[5:35] We are going to,

[5:36] we are going to describe what happens on,

[5:40] uh,

[5:41] the series finale of one of your favorite series finale.

[5:45] So I'm sure you have a couple in your head and I want you to

[5:48] describe it in a way that is as non-spoilery as possible.

[5:52] However,

[5:53] we don't want to cross over into the,

[5:56] what happens next week on Mad Men line,

[5:58] where it's just people opening doors and closing doors.

[6:01] And you're like,

[6:02] I have no idea what could be happening.

[6:04] I know that this,

[6:05] I know this next episode,

[6:06] someone is going to enter someone else's office and close the door of

[6:09] that office.

[6:10] But I don't know the context of it.

[6:11] You don't want to go,

[6:12] you don't want to go all the way to do that.

[6:14] So for instance,

[6:15] I'm going to,

[6:16] I'll start with,

[6:17] since this is a little bit of a set,

[6:18] the I'll,

[6:19] I'll,

[6:20] let's see how well I can do here.

[6:21] Yeah.

[6:22] So I'm going to pick one of my,

[6:23] one of my favorite series finales,

[6:25] something my wife and I enjoyed was the shield.

[6:28] Okay.

[6:29] And the shield spent most of the run,

[6:32] uh,

[6:33] with bad boy cop,

[6:34] Vic Mackey played by Michael checklist.

[6:37] The commission and his buddy Shane played by that's right.

[6:42] Walton Goggins getting into all kinds of trouble and doing things that are

[6:46] quite unbecoming of an officer of the law or so you would think.

[6:49] Uh,

[6:50] and so the vice principal for that matter,

[6:54] or a vice principal or a righteous gemstone or,

[6:58] uh,

[6:59] a bullet,

[7:00] I guess kind of what you'd expect a Boyd Crowder.

[7:02] Yeah.

[7:03] I don't expect Boyd Crowder to be following the rules.

[7:05] Yeah.

[7:06] Um,

[7:07] so let's see,

[7:08] I'm going to say in the series finale of the shield,

[7:12] I can't give anything away.

[7:13] Uh,

[7:14] let's see.

[7:15] Characters that we know.

[7:18] Okay.

[7:22] Face some consequences for their actions.

[7:27] Uh,

[7:29] uh,

[7:30] truths are revealed.

[7:33] Uh,

[7:34] Hey,

[7:36] yeah,

[7:37] the police are involved.

[7:40] Okay.

[7:41] Well,

[7:42] it's a cop show.

[7:43] So,

[7:44] but,

[7:45] um,

[7:46] some people end up disappointed.

[7:49] That's it.

[7:52] Okay.

[7:57] How'd I do?

[7:58] Did you guys,

[7:59] did I ruin it for you?

[8:00] I think you did a good job of not spoiling it for me.

[8:02] You did a good job of giving me a sense of how you felt about the serious finale.

[8:07] How did you feel about it?

[8:08] Were you one of those people who were disappointed?

[8:10] Okay.

[8:11] No,

[8:12] no,

[8:13] no,

[8:14] I wasn't.

[8:15] It's one of my favorites.

[8:16] So let's see.

[8:17] Um,

[8:18] it surprised me and was harsh.

[8:23] Hmm.

[8:24] Okay.

[8:25] Okay.

[8:26] Is that okay?

[8:27] Okay.

[8:28] And where do you,

[8:29] what do you score it on the,

[8:30] uh,

[8:31] on the finale meter?

[8:32] Uh,

[8:33] what,

[8:34] what are the,

[8:35] what are the criteria is on the finale criteria,

[8:36] audience satisfaction and closure,

[8:38] sense of closure.

[8:39] Okay.

[8:40] So I would say,

[8:41] I would say high on both.

[8:43] Okay.

[8:44] That's good.

[8:45] Okay.

[8:46] So the shield,

[8:47] uh,

[8:48] the shield,

[8:49] you have to go through a lot of seasons and depending on what your emotional state is,

[8:52] some of those seasons are going to be difficult.

[8:54] Hmm.

[8:55] Uh,

[8:56] it is a show that when I started it,

[8:58] I was like,

[8:59] I don't know if I want to see another show that glorifies,

[9:01] uh,

[9:02] the police.

[9:03] And then after watching,

[9:04] uh,

[9:05] a bit of it,

[9:06] I'm like,

[9:07] Oh,

[9:08] this show does the opposite of that.

[9:09] It really radicalized you.

[9:10] Yeah.

[9:11] That was,

[9:12] that was the thing.

[9:13] Sorry.

[9:14] I was only at,

[9:15] cause I was thinking about,

[9:16] you know,

[9:17] having to,

[9:18] having to do this.

[9:19] Yeah.

[9:20] Yeah.

[9:21] I'm not judging you.

[9:22] I'll go up.

[9:23] I'm going out a little bit more.

[9:24] No,

[9:25] no,

[9:26] I,

[9:27] no,

[9:28] I was only happy because I have one.

[9:29] Oh,

[9:30] okay.

[9:31] Uh,

[9:32] so I'm going to go with Buffy,

[9:33] the vampire Slayer,

[9:34] because it's a,

[9:35] it's a finale that I think I can remember pretty well,

[9:36] even though obviously the rules of this game don't really require you to,

[9:39] to remember it all that well.

[9:41] It could hurt me if anything.

[9:43] Um,

[9:44] uh,

[9:45] a show,

[9:46] obviously that's become a little harder to watch now that we know more about

[9:49] Joss Whedon,

[9:50] but as Chris McCarpenter,

[9:51] who's great on Twitter,

[9:52] he's been talking about Josh Whedon's,

[9:53] uh,

[9:54] uh,

[9:55] legit.

[9:56] Yeah.

[9:57] My spoiler.

[9:58] There's no H in his name.

[9:59] Um,

[10:00] we,

[10:01] we,

[10:02] we,

[10:03] we,

[10:04] we,

[10:05] we,

[10:06] we,

[10:07] we,

[10:08] we,

[10:09] we,

[10:10] we,

[10:11] we,

[10:12] we,

[10:13] we,

[10:14] we,

[10:15] we,

[10:16] we,

[10:17] we,

[10:18] we,

[10:19] we,

[10:20] we,

[10:00] But at least there's one in Whedon, right?

[10:03] LA's going to have to get that tattoo fixed.

[10:08] Who is a delight on Twitter has said, you know, it's a show that is much bigger than

[10:11] one person.

[10:13] And sometimes, you know, things get lost.

[10:18] The artistic contributions of other people get lost when, unfortunately, the person at

[10:23] the helm.

[10:24] Yeah, you were saying the same thing about the Cosby show.

[10:25] Turns out to be a weasel.

[10:26] I mean, that's true.

[10:27] I mean, Cosby is a monster, but anyway, I would say that to swerve away from that line

[10:37] of talk, it is a common thing, especially in today's idea of auteur driven TV.

[10:44] It is a common thing to not recognize the contributions of not just the other writers

[10:50] on staff, because not like Joss Whedon wrote every episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer,

[10:54] but also the many people involved in its creative work from the directors to the editors,

[10:59] the performers, to the crew, to people who just who through their technical work are

[11:04] the people operating the cameras, operating the sound equipment, people doing the makeup.

[11:08] Everyone involved has a contribution that they're making to it and a valuable contribution

[11:12] at that.

[11:13] And it is because of that, partly in order to protect that creative industry and those

[11:17] contributions, the writers goes on strike.

[11:18] But we need to talk about that right now.

[11:20] But I did want to say this is a good opportunity, a good opening, just to recognize that this

[11:25] idea of one person being behind it all has always been a fiction in film for a long time.

[11:31] And it's a new fiction in television, but it is a fiction for both.

[11:35] It takes a lot of people to do these things, and all of them are necessary.

[11:39] Dan, tell us about the end of Buffy the Vampire Killer, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

[11:46] You know, as we know, our titular vampire slayer is still out there fighting evil.

[11:52] Okay.

[11:53] Yeah, we knew that.

[11:54] And the finale, just as has been true for the previous season's finales, the big bad,

[12:06] the fight with them, it comes to a head.

[12:09] Okay.

[12:10] Okay.

[12:11] So, something happens that changes, alters the slayer mythos going forward, I guess,

[12:27] into the comics.

[12:28] The show is over, right?

[12:31] Yeah.

[12:32] Certain people, perhaps, are lost along the way.

[12:38] Okay.

[12:40] All of them forever, question mark?

[12:42] Okay.

[12:43] So, even that sentence wasn't spoiled for me.

[12:49] And things generally end on a cheerful note.

[12:57] Okay.

[12:58] And now tell us about the comics.

[13:02] The comics were not very good.

[13:03] They were sold to me as a direct continuation of the show.

[13:08] But the show, honestly, as much as I love it, had been in a slight creative decline

[13:13] after season five, season six, and seven, I think my weakest, seven.

[13:17] Oh, that's not too bad.

[13:19] One for each deadly sin.

[13:21] Whoa, that's how they did it?

[13:24] I assume?

[13:25] It's, you know, the comics were fine, but not so much that I didn't give up after a

[13:30] certain point.

[13:31] All right.

[13:32] Well, that was less funny than I thought the answer might be, so never mind.

[13:36] Okay.

[13:38] So, where do we, yeah, where do you rate this finale on those two, on the finale meter?

[13:43] It's a pretty satisfying finale.

[13:45] It doesn't, as I said, I think that the show kind of went downhill towards the end, so

[13:51] it could not go out on top, like some of the best finales, but I'd give it like a seven.

[13:56] Okay.

[13:57] Oh, the same number as season ten deadly sins, yeah.

[14:00] Wow, okay.

[14:01] Okay.

[14:02] So, yeah, I guess there's not too many spoilers there.

[14:07] Okay.

[14:08] Okay.

[14:09] Let's do it.

[14:10] I didn't think it was going to be possible for me to have less of an idea of what happens

[14:13] than in Stuart's summary, and yet you did it, Dan, you did it.

[14:16] Oh, man, we're killing it today.

[14:18] Yeah.

[14:19] Okay, Elliot, why don't we, why don't you jump in this game?

[14:21] All right.

[14:22] Now, I'm going to jump in.

[14:23] Now, the first show that came to mind was one of my favorite shows, The Prisoner, and

[14:27] yet I already did a podcast where I talked about that finale with John Hodgman.

[14:31] It's called Be Potting You, and it's available on Maximum Fun, so go listen to that.

[14:35] It's a four-episode podcast miniseries, and so then I started thinking about what's another

[14:39] show I liked more recently, and a show I really was a big fan of was Hannibal, the show all

[14:45] about serial killers and cannibals, and conversations just-

[14:49] He's a cannibal?

[14:50] Oh, sorry, spoiler, and conversations made out of loaded questions, and-

[14:54] And arranging corpses in artistic tableaus.

[14:58] And arranging corpses, the show that was as baroque in its visuals as it was erotic in

[15:02] its atmosphere, and in the season finale-

[15:08] Series finale.

[15:09] Series finale, sorry, series finale.

[15:11] This was the third season, I believe, and I have to admit, that season I was not as

[15:16] huge a fan of.

[15:17] They took a long time adapting Richard Harris's actual Hannibal novels for a while, and as

[15:25] much as I loved every moment when a drop of blood would fall into a bathtub and you

[15:29] just follow that drop as it spiraled on down and was dissolved, I wasn't enjoying the story

[15:36] that much.

[15:37] And there were certain points where it was like, wait, so there's electric eels in his

[15:40] butt or something?

[15:41] That I just couldn't quite, I couldn't wrap my mind around it.

[15:46] I was about to say I couldn't crap my mind around it, but I couldn't do that either.

[15:50] But I thought that the season really picked up as the end story was, I forget if it was

[15:57] an adaptation, I think it was an adaptation of Red Dragon, I can't remember.

[16:00] But the-

[16:01] A thing that has been adapted in two other-

[16:04] Has it been adapted in two other times, and I think is up there with the, it was adapted

[16:10] as Manhunter and then as the movie Red Dragon.

[16:12] It's better than the movie Red Dragon.

[16:14] And I think-

[16:15] By far.

[16:16] By far.

[16:17] And it's up there with Manhunter in a lot of ways.

[16:18] Yeah, it's up there with Manhunter.

[16:19] I mean, there's, for me, you know, there's nobody who can beat Tom Noonan as a super

[16:23] scary dude.

[16:24] But still.

[16:25] Yeah.

[16:26] Richard Armitage is not bad, especially when you consider that he was a dwarf.

[16:31] Yeah.

[16:32] And also, I'm, you know, I'm a 40-something year old man.

[16:34] If you show me Manhunter and I'm just going to go into like this synth wave, like, pleasure

[16:39] coma of just like neon and, you know, I don't know, just blue lights everywhere.

[16:46] Speaking of synth, I've been watching Simpsons episodes with my older son, which he hasn't

[16:51] seen before, and we watched the Mr. Plow episode.

[16:53] And there's a part where Homer is driving his plow across a rope bridge and the music,

[16:58] and it's like the scene in Sorcerer, and the music is all synthy.

[17:01] And I was like, oh, now I understand this joke, because when this first aired when I

[17:05] was like 11, I had not seen Sorcerer.

[17:07] Weird.

[17:08] I was not familiar with it.

[17:09] Somehow Sorcerer-

[17:10] And your parents didn't take you aside and explain it?

[17:11] But you had seen Wages of Fear.

[17:12] Yeah, yeah.

[17:14] They were like, oh, it's like Wages of Fear.

[17:15] I was like, it's like Wages of Fear, but like, why the music?

[17:18] I don't understand.

[17:19] Clouseau wasn't working with synth in his soundtracks.

[17:23] So, but let's see.

[17:25] Let's describe this ending to this series finale.

[17:29] Okay, so there's a disagreement between our main characters-

[17:35] Who's in it?

[17:37] Between our main characters and our, not main character, but recurring character.

[17:44] The two main characters find both common ground and also disagreement.

[17:50] Okay.

[17:51] There is a very memorable hug, and Gillian Anderson prepares a meal for someone.

[18:01] And that's the series finale of Hannibal.

[18:05] Yeah, okay.

[18:06] Well, I feel like Elliot got a little more detail in his than we got into ours, but-

[18:11] Yeah.

[18:12] But it's still pretty vague.

[18:13] Pretty vague.

[18:14] No spoilers.

[18:15] You don't know what the context of the hug is.

[18:16] No.

[18:17] And you don't know who Gillian Anderson is preparing the meal for or what she's preparing.

[18:20] Yeah.

[18:21] Yep.

[18:22] Okay.

[18:23] Well, that was fun, guys.

[18:24] Series finales, you gotta love them.

[18:26] Okay, good takeaway.

[18:31] Okay, so the next part of this little episode,

[18:34] I wanna talk about a thing I started watching recently because I'm very excited about it.

[18:38] I just started watching the new Dead Ringers show,

[18:42] which is of course adapted from the David Cronenberg movie,

[18:47] and I have another little deadly game for the two of you.

[18:51] Okay.

[18:52] I would like the two of you to collaborate on a pitch for me.

[18:56] Can you pitch for me a TV reimagining of a David Cronenberg

[19:01] that twists it in a way that makes it appropriate for my modern eyeballs?

[19:06] What?

[19:07] Appropriate how?

[19:09] Are you worried that-

[19:10] I mean, honestly, it would be to tone it down probably.

[19:12] I feel like-

[19:13] Probably.

[19:14] We got away with a lot in the 70s and 80s.

[19:16] So, Dan, okay.

[19:17] Okay.

[19:18] Let's talk about what Cronenberg we're adapting.

[19:20] I mean, it feels like the easy way to go, and I don't wanna go that way,

[19:23] would be A History of Violence.

[19:24] I don't wanna go that way.

[19:25] Okay.

[19:26] Too easy.

[19:27] I feel like if you wanna take it easy on yourself, you pick any of those three movies.

[19:31] Except for Spider.

[19:32] Spider would not be an easy one to adapt into a TV show.

[19:35] Also, The Dead Zone would be too easy and has already been adapted.

[19:41] And already has been adapted.

[19:42] I feel like Scanners.

[19:43] I think Scanners may have been a television show also at some point, wasn't it?

[19:46] Scanners feels like it would be pretty easily adapted in a TV show.

[19:51] Yeah.

[19:52] There's good guy, bad guy psychics.

[19:53] They're making each other's heads blow up.

[19:55] Everyone's wearing puffy vests over flannel shirts.

[19:57] Yeah, that's a TV show already.

[19:59] Yeah.

[20:00] Let's say, so what's a hard one?

[20:01] The Fly would be not that difficult.

[20:05] Now, let's talk about Videodrome.

[20:06] But how are you going to twist it a little?

[20:08] Because, well, the thing is Videodrome is already

[20:10] about the televisual medium.

[20:11] So that's why I think let's try to do a TV show out of that.

[20:14] Okay, so Videodrome, here's one twist.

[20:17] James Woods would not be the star

[20:18] of this television version of Videodrome.

[20:20] Well, I mean, I think often is the case.

[20:22] It's not like Jeremy Irons is in the Dead Ringers TV show.

[20:25] True, true, yeah, yeah.

[20:26] Instead, they do the smartest thing a TV show can do,

[20:30] and they cast Rachel Weisz, and she plays two characters.

[20:32] Yeah, they've got twice the Weisz.

[20:34] That was how they added, they advertised it.

[20:36] They said, Dead Ringers, twice the Weisz.

[20:38] This time, our Weisz is twice.

[20:40] And people were like, oh, fantastic.

[20:44] They also tried, they had the double rainbow guy,

[20:47] double rainbow guy on the commercial,

[20:48] double Rachel, what does it mean?

[20:50] And that did not test as well, that advertisement.

[20:53] Now, here's the problem.

[20:55] Okay.

[20:56] This is what I foresee for us with Videodrome.

[20:58] Okay.

[20:59] Because if you're gonna modernize it right,

[21:01] I feel like it has to be internet streaming,

[21:05] something like that.

[21:06] Yeah, streaming.

[21:07] Because that is the-

[21:07] The villain that is destroying our industry.

[21:08] Yeah, streaming.

[21:09] Sure, but the thing is, I guess I fear,

[21:14] I fear to tread there because there have been

[21:17] so many bad horror movies about the internet.

[21:23] Like, I feel like-

[21:24] You're right, Dan.

[21:25] It's impossible to make art about the internet

[21:27] and have it be good.

[21:28] Can you believe this guy?

[21:29] Wait, I'm looking to the audience.

[21:30] I'm doing like a John Wozniacki in the office,

[21:32] look to the audience.

[21:33] Can you believe this guy?

[21:34] I am saying that like-

[21:36] There's been good horror movies about the internet.

[21:38] The fucking social network, dude.

[21:39] People have, yeah.

[21:41] Probably one of the best.

[21:42] People have tried so hard to be like,

[21:45] what is scary about the internet?

[21:47] And the thing is, like, the internet is scary,

[21:49] and yet the movies somehow have not been able

[21:51] to figure it out.

[21:53] Because I think they mistake what's the medium

[21:56] for the message.

[21:56] If I can be like Marshall McLuhan,

[21:58] a character in Videodrome of whom it's based on,

[22:01] the character of Brian Oblivion, right?

[22:03] So I think the scary thing about the internet

[22:07] is that it plays on your deepest, what,

[22:12] insecurities and privacies and fears,

[22:14] and can alternately project them to the world

[22:16] or directly to you, feed the things

[22:18] that are going to drive you mad.

[22:19] And instead, what the movies have mainly said

[22:22] is the internet is creepy because there might

[22:23] be serial killers lurking on it, or smileys.

[22:27] Whereas it feels like with Videodrome,

[22:29] it gives you the opportunity to do something scary

[22:32] about algorithms, or something scary

[22:34] about the way social media is designed

[22:38] to make you mad or to make you paranoid.

[22:41] So I think there's things you could do with that.

[22:43] Well, that's, I mean, I think there's an uncertainty

[22:46] quality to what Videodrome is doing.

[22:48] Like, he doesn't really know what these transmissions are,

[22:52] how much, how seriously to take them in a certain way.

[22:55] And I think that there's something interesting

[22:57] with that too, with the internet,

[22:58] with people who claim to just be trolls,

[23:02] and you can't tell whether they are just trolls,

[23:07] whether they are legitimately dangerous,

[23:10] or whether there's any difference between those two things.

[23:13] Yeah, yeah, I think, I love that.

[23:15] That's a great gray area to play in,

[23:16] that paranoia of not knowing what's a real danger

[23:19] and what's a fake danger,

[23:19] what's sincere and what's not sincere.

[23:21] And you can't escape it because the devices

[23:24] that you use to run your life

[23:27] are pushing these things at you constantly.

[23:29] You have to opt out of all of it.

[23:31] Yeah, and these devices are essential.

[23:33] It's getting to the point where you can't even get

[23:36] on the subway without scanning your fucking phone.

[23:38] Yeah, which is crazy.

[23:40] Like, it's really, or when people talk about like,

[23:43] well, we need a cashless society,

[23:44] and it's like, wait, so I need,

[23:45] you're saying I need to have a device with me at all times.

[23:48] Like, I can't opt out of even having a device.

[23:50] So I think that's really good.

[23:51] And the first one, the video drone movie

[23:54] is so much about the difference between image and reality

[23:57] and what happens when you confuse them.

[23:59] So this can be similar.

[24:00] The idea of confusing the virtual world for the real world,

[24:04] not in a virtuosity, somebody comes out of a video game

[24:08] and is killing people in real life.

[24:09] So no serial killers.

[24:11] Well, not necessarily, but probably not.

[24:15] But the idea of that there are companies out there

[24:18] in reality that want to create a virtual world

[24:21] that then we would have to spend all of our time in

[24:23] so that they can not only control the products

[24:26] or the content or whatever that we get,

[24:29] but also control the very reality that we live in

[24:31] in a way that they own and they have to sell to us,

[24:34] which is a really frightening idea, right?

[24:35] Maybe that's an idea.

[24:36] Maybe like someone notices like targeted stuff

[24:42] being more and more specifically targeted towards them,

[24:45] gets paranoid about it, and then like things start

[24:49] to fall into place in their life

[24:51] in a way that should be positive, but they are paranoid

[24:54] that this is like somehow these companies

[24:56] are now tailoring reality to his whims as well.

[25:00] It could be, yeah.

[25:01] I mean, in a way that we don't want it to be too much

[25:02] like the Matrix or something like that.

[25:04] But I like that idea a lot.

[25:05] That's really good.

[25:06] So it's like he's, he's,

[25:08] he's already in the, he's already in that world

[25:10] or something like that.

[25:11] That he, there's a, we'll figure it out.

[25:15] So anyway, Stuart, that's the pitch.

[25:17] You like it?

[25:18] Okay, I'm buying it.

[25:19] 10 episode, 10 episode run.

[25:21] Let's put it on freeform.

[25:24] Okay.

[25:25] You can't see it at home, but look down

[25:29] as if to check his nose,

[25:31] as if he has a deal in place with freeform.

[25:33] Yeah, Stuart has an overall with freeform.

[25:35] You're trying to get us to do work

[25:36] during the strike, Stuart.

[25:38] Yep, I'm doing it, tricking you, hee, hee, hee.

[25:42] I'm like a, like a sneaky streaming service.

[25:46] Speaking of sneaky streaming services,

[25:49] the Flop House is sponsored

[25:50] by a number of different companies.

[25:52] Not sneaky streaming services though.

[25:54] No, no.

[25:57] So why don't we jump to those?

[25:58] Dan, I believe you're the first.

[26:00] I'm the first.

[26:01] I'm the second.

[26:02] I'm the third.

[26:03] Jump to those.

[26:04] Dan, I believe you're the first.

[26:06] Yeah, and I definitely had it pulled up

[26:09] and then somehow hit the wrong thing.

[26:11] Here it is.

[26:12] Maybe we can use a little bit more

[26:13] of that Videodrome fake reality

[26:16] where things fall into place for Dan

[26:18] without his realizing it.

[26:18] You know what makes it,

[26:20] you not worry about whether things

[26:22] are falling into place or not?

[26:24] One more thing about that Videodrome idea,

[26:25] even though we're done with that segment.

[26:27] Videodrome, the movie,

[26:28] is so much about playing on people's sexual desires

[26:31] and what happens when they are removed from reality.

[26:33] And one thing that could be interesting to play with

[26:35] is that the metaverse as, for instance,

[26:37] Mark Zuckerberg has designed it,

[26:38] or not him specifically,

[26:39] but his designers at Facebook,

[26:40] was so incredibly sexless

[26:42] and so incredibly non-physical

[26:43] and non-body or non-sensual.

[26:45] And that could be something to play with

[26:46] in this new Videodrome.

[26:47] The idea that the future is not

[26:51] your sexual desires being transmuted electronically,

[26:54] but instead the opposite of that,

[26:56] them being denied to you

[26:57] because they don't fit into

[26:59] either the corporate philosophy

[27:01] or the philosophy of the person

[27:02] who ultimately pulls the strings of that corporation.

[27:03] So scary, right?

[27:05] This world of digital eunuchs

[27:07] that Facebook wants us to be.

[27:08] Ooh, frightening.

[27:09] No, man.

[27:10] I guess I'll throw away my milking machine.

[27:12] Okay, Dan, who are we sponsored by?

[27:14] No, Dan, no, Stuart, you need it.

[27:15] That milking machine is what keeps you human.

[27:19] Dan, get a milking machine.

[27:20] Anyway, what's our sponsor, milking machines?

[27:22] No.

[27:25] Nothing a sponsor likes more

[27:26] than coming after that conversation.

[27:28] And we would like to thank our sponsor.

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[27:42] Look, guys, I'm gonna be honest with you.

[27:46] Yeah.

[27:47] I got a lot of problems relating to people sometimes.

[27:49] I have a sort of an inflexible mindset.

[27:55] I hold myself to a bizarre standard

[27:57] and get inexplicably infuriated

[27:59] when other people don't share that standard.

[28:03] A lot of things.

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[28:27] I'm just saying it helps me chill out a little bit.

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[28:46] And we are also sponsored by Soylent.

[28:49] Let's face it, unless you like to cook,

[28:51] cooking is not fun.

[28:52] I find it really stressful, honestly.

[28:54] A lot of it is keeping track of things.

[28:56] I don't like that.

[28:57] You're rushing around to get them all finished in time.

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[31:05] of the food of the future.

[31:07] Now, Elliot, I know you were using just now

[31:09] the Yiddish word surus,

[31:10] meaning sort of like, you know,

[31:12] to do like a fuss, you know, but-

[31:15] Well, it's like-

[31:16] Worry.

[31:17] Yeah, worry, anxiety, you know,

[31:19] a bad feeling in your stomach

[31:20] because you think something bad

[31:21] is gonna happen, exactly.

[31:22] You were talking about living in space.

[31:24] So for a moment, I heard it as cirrus,

[31:26] the type of cloud that-

[31:28] Oh, okay, sure.

[31:29] One that has to, you know,

[31:30] break through on the way to space.

[31:32] And I was like,

[31:33] why do you wanna save yourself some cirrus?

[31:35] Anyway, that's the best part

[31:37] about going to space,

[31:38] breaking through that cloud.

[31:39] Is when you just hold your hand out

[31:41] with a net in it and catch some clouds

[31:43] and pull them into the window

[31:44] and close the window,

[31:45] take it to space with you.

[31:46] Yeah, it rules.

[31:47] Nature's gotten handy, you know, clouds.

[31:51] I wanted to take a moment,

[31:52] if it's possible for me

[31:53] to shill for my own things.

[31:55] Dan and I are on strike.

[31:56] And I have two things I wanna say about that.

[31:58] One, the writer's guild's on strike.

[32:00] You've heard us talk about it before.

[32:02] We are striking for equitable pay,

[32:04] for real employment,

[32:06] for humans doing the creative work.

[32:08] And this is the kind of strike

[32:09] that a lot of industries

[32:10] are probably gonna have to go through

[32:11] or at least threaten

[32:13] so that we can keep humans on top

[32:15] and machines on the bottom

[32:16] where they belong in our shoes.

[32:17] Because we'll have computer shoes in the future.

[32:20] Hopefully by the time this episode comes out-

[32:21] I heard about a computer that wore tennis shoes.

[32:23] But in this case, the computer is tennis shoes.

[32:25] In this case, the computer is tennis shoes.

[32:27] Kurt Russell is still wearing it.

[32:29] It's always Kurt Russell.

[32:31] And so maybe by the time this episode comes out,

[32:33] maybe the strike will be over.

[32:34] Maybe the AMPTP will have come

[32:36] to their goddamn senses

[32:37] and realized they cannot do their business without us,

[32:40] that they need us

[32:41] and that we are one of the many groups of people

[32:44] that make entertainment possible

[32:45] and make them money.

[32:46] If they haven't and the strike is still going on,

[32:48] then a lot of writers

[32:49] and a lot of people in the entertainment industry

[32:51] who are not writers

[32:52] are going to be out of work

[32:53] and are gonna need your help.

[32:54] So that's why if you can

[32:55] and if you would like to help,

[32:56] I would advise you to go to entertainmentcommunity.org

[32:59] and donate.

[33:00] That is the Entertainment Community Fund.

[33:02] Used to be the Actors Fund.

[33:04] Now it's the Entertainment Community Fund.

[33:05] It's for everybody.

[33:06] Go to the area that says

[33:07] Support Film and Television Professionals

[33:09] and make a donation.

[33:10] That is money that will go to

[33:12] anyone in the entertainment community

[33:13] who applies for it because they need it.

[33:15] That's not just writers.

[33:16] That could also mean actors.

[33:17] That could also mean support staff

[33:19] such as writer's assistants or script supervisors

[33:21] or anyone.

[33:23] Anyone who works in entertainment

[33:24] who needs that money when they need it

[33:27] and we really appreciate the support.

[33:29] If you would rather make a more targeted donation to me

[33:32] and get things in addition,

[33:33] as a result, I have some books out on store shelves

[33:36] and you can help me pay the bills by buying some of them.

[33:38] I have two picture books,

[33:39] Sharko and Hippo and Horse Meets Dog.

[33:41] Kids love them.

[33:42] And I have, of course,

[33:43] the collections of my comic book,

[33:45] Maniac of New York from Aftershock Comics.

[33:47] Please feel free to buy those and enjoy them

[33:49] and some of that money will go to me.

[33:51] In the case of the books,

[33:52] it will go down to paying back the advance

[33:54] because we have not yet done that.

[33:56] But if you want to not do that,

[33:58] if you want to make a donation

[33:59] that will more directly help people

[34:01] and also go entirely to the people who need it,

[34:03] go to entertainmentcommunity.org

[34:06] and make a donation

[34:06] to help the entertainment professionals

[34:08] who need your help

[34:09] so they can get back on their feet

[34:10] and keep making that stuff that you love.

[34:12] We call it entertainment.

[34:15] Mm-hmm.

[34:16] Thank you.

[34:16] Now that's entertainment.

[34:23] Greatest Trek is the podcast

[34:25] for all your modern Star Trek needs.

[34:27] It's funny, informative,

[34:28] and now it's also timely.

[34:30] That's because every Friday,

[34:31] right after the release of a new episode

[34:33] of Strange New Worlds, Picard, Lower Decks,

[34:35] Discovery or Prodigy,

[34:37] we bring you a review of that episode.

[34:39] There's some great new Star Trek coming up

[34:41] and we're going to cover all of it.

[34:42] You'll like our show

[34:43] because we're both former video producers,

[34:45] so we bring a lot of insight

[34:46] into the production and filmmaking aspects

[34:48] to these episodes.

[34:49] And we also have a very refined sense of humor,

[34:51] so we make lots of delightful fart jokes along the way.

[34:54] So come see why Greatest Trek

[34:55] is one of the most popular television recap podcasts

[34:59] on all of the internet.

[35:00] Subscribe to Greatest Trek at maximumfun.org

[35:03] or in the podcast app you're using right now.

[35:07] Hey there, this is Drea Clark.

[35:09] This is Alonzo Dorale.

[35:10] And this is Sparta.

[35:13] Listen, I got 300 on the brain.

[35:16] We just watched the movie 300

[35:17] in honor of our 300th episode of Maximum Film.

[35:21] And to celebrate this major milestone,

[35:23] we brought back original co-hosts,

[35:26] Ricky Carmona and April Wolf.

[35:27] But just for this one episode, right?

[35:29] Oh, Ify, you know we could never replace you.

[35:32] Some of the voices have changed over the years.

[35:34] Heck, the name of the show has changed too.

[35:36] But through it all, Maximum Film remains

[35:39] the movie podcast

[35:40] that isn't just a bunch of straight white guys.

[35:43] Deal with it.

[35:44] Find this and all 300 episodes of Maximum Film

[35:47] anytime on maximumfun.org.

[35:51] So the back half of this episode

[35:53] of Two Boy Talking Tube to Two Dudes Today, yes way.

[35:55] We're gonna talk about one of the repercussions

[35:58] of the writer's strike.

[35:59] That's right, we're talking reality TV.

[36:03] And the first part of this segment,

[36:06] we're gonna be talking about a little show

[36:08] that my wife and I have been watching

[36:09] since we don't have late night shows to watch.

[36:12] We've been watching The Amazing Race,

[36:15] which is a show where two people, a team of two,

[36:18] travel all over the world and complete challenges

[36:21] and have to travel around this modern crazy world

[36:24] and they're running a race, okay?

[36:27] It's fairly straightforward.

[36:28] If you haven't seen it,

[36:29] just imagine you go on puzzles and physical challenges

[36:32] and you have to complete them

[36:33] in order to complete this race.

[36:34] It's like international Double Dare,

[36:36] but it's you and a partner

[36:37] and you're held hostage by the show

[36:39] and you cannot go home until you lose or finish.

[36:42] Now, Charlene and I have agreed that under no circumstance

[36:45] would we be good teammates for this.

[36:48] I would watch that all season though.

[36:50] So what I'm gonna put to you,

[36:52] this is a little bit of a lightning round.

[36:54] I'm going to give you three,

[36:56] we're gonna go through a number of different rounds

[36:58] and each round I'm gonna give you three options,

[37:00] three fictional characters

[37:03] and you are going to have to say

[37:05] who you would like to be your teammate and why.

[37:09] Okay?

[37:10] Fairly simple.

[37:11] And you can pick the same one if you insist.

[37:13] So first, Kermit, Gonzo or Fozzie Bear.

[37:19] Who would be the best reality show teammate for you?

[37:22] I mean, it's like Kermit, obviously, right?

[37:25] Like, cause he's level-headed

[37:27] and he's not gonna annoy you with his jokes

[37:29] and also he's not gonna be running off

[37:31] to have sex with Camilla

[37:32] when he's supposed to be finishing the competition, right?

[37:35] True.

[37:36] R.I.P.

[37:38] R.I.P.

[37:39] I forgot that in Flophouse Cannon Camilla died last year.

[37:43] Now, I am gonna go a different direction.

[37:45] I would say that I am too close to a Kermit

[37:50] to partner with a Kermit.

[37:53] I think, you know,

[37:55] I need someone whose skill set is different

[37:57] and I need someone clearly, you know,

[38:00] based on the people I have chosen to surround myself with,

[38:04] I prefer to be around people who annoy me a little.

[38:07] So, I'm gonna go with Fozzie.

[38:10] Oh, cool, okay, Fozzie Bear.

[38:11] I need someone who's always gonna be

[38:12] trying to bother me with jokes.

[38:14] Actually, you know what I'm gonna say, Stu?

[38:16] I was just gonna say, obviously, I'm picking Miss Piggy.

[38:19] I don't think we need to cover that.

[38:20] Not an option that we were presented with.

[38:22] I mean, actually, now that I think about it-

[38:23] Yeah, cause I already took her, dude.

[38:25] Go on.

[38:25] Gonzo might be good, now that I think about it,

[38:27] because he is not loathe to perform dangerous stunts.

[38:31] He is-

[38:32] That's true.

[38:33] He is not afraid of putting that long, hooked,

[38:36] but not anti-Semitic nose into danger.

[38:40] Yeah, that's great.

[38:40] Okay, so next round.

[38:42] Perseus, Achilles, or Jason?

[38:46] Not some guy named Jason.

[38:47] We're talking about the-

[38:48] Of the Argonauts.

[38:49] The Greek hero, Jason.

[38:51] Okay, now, what I love about this

[38:53] is it also ties into my upcoming

[38:55] Disney Villains Hades comics miniseries

[38:57] that starts in August,

[39:00] and Jason appears in that series.

[39:02] Spoiler alert.

[39:03] Noted villain?

[39:05] Noted, well, Hades is still a villain of it, but the-

[39:10] Jason's not a cool dude.

[39:11] No, I mean, Jason, okay,

[39:13] just because he abandoned his wife,

[39:15] causing her to kill her children is-

[39:20] He's a rascal.

[39:21] But I'm gonna say Perseus for this one.

[39:23] Perseus, he's got magic weapons.

[39:25] He got rid of the Medusa,

[39:27] who is also a character in Disney Villains Hades.

[39:29] And he is just all around, you know,

[39:31] he's just a strong, he's a good hero.

[39:33] He doesn't have the emotional instability of Achilles,

[39:35] or the rapscallion, leave his wife

[39:39] and cause her to kill his children quality of Jason.

[39:41] So I'm gonna go with Perseus on this one.

[39:43] Is Perseus the one who's the lead of Clash of the Titans?

[39:46] Is that the main character?

[39:48] Yeah, yeah, that's right.

[39:50] Okay, how accurate is Clash of the Titans

[39:52] to Greek mythology?

[39:54] Pretty close.

[39:55] I mean, it's a balthorized version.

[40:00] mythology certainly uh yeah i'll go with perseus too that guy seems to be able to

[40:04] do a lot of stuff that's a good response obviously i'm going heracles because

[40:08] heracles is the best uh heracles killed his family stew wait a minute hold on

[40:13] that's the problem they're holding back i mean sure he was under a spell of

[40:19] madness he was under a spell of madness okay

[40:21] uh that's also in the greek the greek myths how it's like

[40:25] oh i killed my family in a fit of rage what can i do to atone myself

[40:29] uh well clean out these tables wrestle this dude

[40:35] okay so next round we got princess leia chewbacca

[40:40] salacious crumb oh it's a tough one i gotta think i gotta think practically

[40:45] and not just go with the one i want to spend time with

[40:48] yeah that's the thing that person might inspire you you know what yeah that's

[40:52] true i think you know what so princess leia

[40:55] obviously a lot of can-do attitude can do just

[40:58] about everything has the force chewbacca loyal to the end well you

[41:01] know and a great co-pilot but salacious crumb that's the kind of uh

[41:05] the kind of emotional support that i really need if he can make java the hut

[41:09] feel beautiful then he can make me feel like i can do

[41:12] anything so i'm gonna go salacious crumb yeah i think with princess leia there'd

[41:16] be too big of a uh a risk that i would get a

[41:19] crush on her and it would distract me so i'm gonna go with chewbacca uh a

[41:24] known loyal sidekick uh let's see and you

[41:28] wouldn't be thrown off by the fact that he's

[41:30] naked except for a belt wait a bandolier

[41:38] i mean if anything that's weirder i mean the fact that salacious crumb is naked

[41:40] but he's just naked but if salacious crumb was wearing like

[41:43] naked but with a hat on that would be weirder yeah i mean do you think of like

[41:47] dogs as being naked all the time all the time yeah

[41:51] yeah that's what he writes housebroken yeah okay

[41:54] obviously i wrote down a show but when i'm not on strike i do write a show

[41:58] about dogs that has a ton of sex jokes in it

[42:01] uh i wrote down gonk droid so yeah i guess that's who i would pick

[42:05] sweet choice also very emotionally supportive

[42:09] no i'm not imagining i'm imagining someone who's who just got dumped and

[42:12] they're just eating ice cream and just talking out their troubles to gonk and

[42:15] every time gonk goes gonk it's like he's saying i hear you i

[42:19] yeah yeah i see myself reflected in his gonks

[42:22] i've been there so the next round we got

[42:25] dominic toretto uh-huh okay letty brian i gotta say i don't know the

[42:32] series well enough to know the other characters you went to the universal

[42:35] studios right i did but it was so incomprehensible

[42:39] i mean i'm just gonna i this one i'm just gonna go with the character who i

[42:42] think i would like the most i would say letty okay that makes sense

[42:46] yeah that's a good call uh elliot you know what i he's not one

[42:50] of the ones i think you mentioned but i'm gonna go with hobs i love that

[42:53] adorable tiger i love that sometimes he's a stuffed

[42:55] animal sometimes he's not and so yeah i'm just gonna go with hobs i'll feed

[42:59] him all the tuna sandwiches he wants he can he can pounce on me when i'm coming

[43:02] home from school any day when i wrote down roman because he's

[43:07] just gonna keep me in stitches the whole time you know it's so funny

[43:10] okay next next round of fictional characters we have

[43:13] filmmaker agnes varda filmmaker paul thomas anderson okay so it's not quite

[43:18] filmmaker brian de palma okay so this is for the the amazing race

[43:26] yes i mean i'm gonna go i gotta take them on

[43:29] you're taking them on a modern amazing race okay i'm gonna gotta go with agnes

[43:34] varda not just because i i think i like her movies the most of those

[43:37] but also she can speak multiple languages she'll be able to get us

[43:40] around as opposed to brian de palma who is a creep

[43:43] and paul thomas anderson who i don't know enough about his personal life

[43:46] honestly let's be paul let's be clear de palma makes movies that have a lot of

[43:52] perviness in it he doesn't he there's not been scandal around i mean

[43:57] the only i mean i guess the creepiest thing he ever did was set up a camera to

[44:00] catch his dad having an affair when he was a kid you're right he's not a

[44:03] he's not a creep in the way that we say that normal type shit there

[44:07] no well the difference in fablemans was that the whole family was in on it that

[44:10] the dad was like get that camera running i want you to

[44:14] capture your mom's sexy bod on camera

[44:18] uh i i'm also gonna go with agnes varda because i feel like

[44:22] she seems like the most down-to-earth of them

[44:25] like i feel like she did direct down-to-earth starring chris rock

[44:28] he's full in a race in a way that the others

[44:31] you know are maybe too into movies yeah i uh

[44:35] i wrote down verner herzog oh yeah the man who

[44:39] oh yeah he dragged his ship across the jungle he's been all over the place

[44:44] he's lived a thousand lives uh okay and then our last

[44:47] last category in the lightning round we got

[44:51] littlefoot sarah petrie the dinosaurs from

[44:57] land before time now here's this is another this is an issue where i'm

[45:01] having another issue here because i want to hang out with petrie

[45:04] but he's not going to be that helpful uh i'm gonna you know i'm gonna go with

[45:07] sarah i feel like she's got a big attitude we're gonna disagree

[45:10] but i can count on her in the clutch and she's got confidence she's gonna build

[45:14] her way through the situations and not get scared yeah i'm gonna say

[45:17] sarah this is not a movie i'm really that familiar with can i choose

[45:21] what about the zendaya is that possible

[45:26] interrupt you i was just wondering maybe you were more familiar with the

[45:28] ancillary tv show spinoff or the other films

[45:33] they made like yeah they made a ton of them i don't know i think i

[45:37] watched uh half of the original one because i liked don bluth and i got

[45:41] bored so oh stewart's choking he's so shocked

[45:46] that i couldn't make you watch the whole thing

[45:48] yeah not an uncommon experience with the don bluth film i have to admit

[45:52] uh i wrote down of course the sharp tooth because

[45:55] he's the bad guy and requires all the other characters to defeat him so i mean

[45:59] it's pretty simple the most powerful yeah for sure okay

[46:02] so that's the lightning round next stage uh last time we had a big uh

[46:07] writer strike uh we got ourselves a reality show

[46:10] president out of the deal now let's look at i don't i don't i'm not gonna lay

[46:14] that i'm not gonna lay that at the foot of the of the writers

[46:17] oh oh interesting okay uh why why would you

[46:22] what do you have a you have a dog in this fight what's going on

[46:25] so yeah naked dog yeah i want to look at past presidents and guess

[46:32] if they had a reality show what would it have been

[46:37] okay now it's my time to shine okay he's out of his depth with the land before

[46:41] time president bill clinton what reality show

[46:44] would he have hosted f boy island f boy island that's actually

[46:48] pretty good because he'd also play saxophone as

[46:52] like the opening or the closing we have to say real shows

[46:57] oh okay you can you can make up one it's not a real game dan you can do what you

[47:01] want yeah uh how do you insult stew's game like

[47:05] that by not calling it real it's not a real game

[47:07] um so the the next one okay we've already kind of figured out when stew

[47:11] makes a real game i know i'm gonna be rolling dice

[47:13] and i'm gonna have worms in my head by the end of it

[47:17] uh so we got uh president richard nixon what was his reality show um

[47:27] what was his reality show probably not a dating show

[47:30] no there's i guess liar's poker isn't really a reality show it's a game show

[47:38] and it doesn't have to be a real show okay uh i'm gonna let dan swing on this

[47:43] rope for a little bit longer before i jump in

[47:45] it's gonna be a show about didn't he hold checkers up by his ears

[47:51] no you're convinced you're confusing two different presidential dog things

[47:54] nixon mentioned checkers in his speech lyndon johnson held his dogs up by the

[47:58] nose okay okay um which is again that's that's uh two

[48:03] presidents in a row who have dog relationships those dogs

[48:06] both naked yeah america's next top richard nixon

[48:12] oh this is impression everyone did back in the day

[48:15] uh the there's just a whole season of just

[48:19] challenges to see how closely you impersonate

[48:23] president richard nixon hollywood squares the

[48:27] lineup huh yeah okay elliot how do you feel about this yeah let's uh

[48:31] do you got a rebuttal or do you want to move on to the next i think the only

[48:34] thing i had was uh it was this was a game this is more of a game

[48:37] show it's called are you are you more conservative than richard

[48:40] nixon and because at the time he was the epitome

[48:44] of american conservatism and yet he uh signed the law creating the epa he

[48:48] did a number of things like that now at the same time he was a warmonger

[48:52] who uh feel like we're getting some vegetables in here yeah he was a

[48:54] warmonger who killed many many people and did break the law routinely in

[48:58] order to undermine the democratic process

[49:00] but i feel like that's just the thing republican presidents do before

[49:03] breakfast these days and democratic presidents to a lesser

[49:08] extent when it comes to killing a lot of people overseas

[49:10] uh so yeah that would be so you'd have that one and jeff foxworthy would still

[49:13] host it okay teddy roosevelt what's teddy teddy

[49:17] bears little uh reality show what are we doing here

[49:21] i feel like it's a i'm gonna jump in here it's got to be some kind of like

[49:24] strongman show so maybe like an american ninja warrior

[49:28] type uh on mooses and stuff if i was being harsh and cynical i'd say

[49:31] it's called the amazing race and it's about how great white

[49:33] anglo-saxon culture was because he was he was a man of the same racial

[49:37] prejudices of his time to a certain extent

[49:39] uh but i actually like theater was about a lot so i'm gonna say that it's called

[49:43] um yeah it's called it's called it's called it's called uh

[49:48] it's called political boxing and it's just him boxing other people in

[49:51] politics yeah oh wow okay so yeah i mean it limits

[49:54] your talent pool but i feel like you there'd be people but but the thing is

[49:58] you've got you've got a team of

[50:00] other politicians and you see them training over the season and they're in

[50:04] bouts against each other to get to the big bout when they're finally up against

[50:07] TR and TR is like he's like Tom Colicchio and Top Chef he's going into

[50:11] the gym and watching them exercise and kind of playing subtle mind games to

[50:15] undermine them while they're preparing and then they've got it they're up

[50:18] against each other and the ultimate goal is to finally battle Theodore Roosevelt

[50:22] at the very end of it. And the secret is when he gets in the ring he just

[50:26] shoots him in the face with a rifle so you can't beat Teddy Roosevelt.

[50:29] I'm gonna go with something that highlights his you know he's an

[50:33] outdoorsman it's gonna be called it's gonna be kind of like Meerkat Manor it

[50:39] will be called Teddy the Bear who and it's just Theodore Roosevelt lives with

[50:45] a family of bears for a year pretending to be one of them. Just living amongst them.

[50:51] Living, loving, laughing. It's like a lifestyle reality show. It's like 1800 House but it's

[50:57] about bears. It's lifestyle porn you want to live like bears you know all that

[51:00] fresh salmon. You can shit wherever you want usually in the woods. Only in the woods, Daniel.

[51:06] Well I mean. Those fucking Sherman bears are going crazy with that thing.

[51:11] They're pooping all over the place. They love their toilet paper. Their identity is defined by it.

[51:18] The bear is in therapy and he's like I just want to be seen as a bear who poops not a pooping bear.

[51:24] I feel like the recent commercials have gotten even more explicit about the

[51:30] pooping of the bears in a way that like. Tell me Clarice. Do you still hear the pooping of the bears?

[51:37] I just feel like I mean like they must know how hated these goddamn bears are

[51:43] and they're just like swinging it over to hate cliques. I do not think they're that

[51:47] hated outside of a small group of people. I think if I think the mainstream audience is

[51:51] both happy to finally be validated as you know what everybody poops. Shit comes out of our butts

[51:58] and we have to clean it up and it happens to everybody. Yes they're using a bear but it's

[52:02] also like imagine how difficult it is for a bear. It's a mess. Without toilet paper it makes me feel

[52:09] better but you know what all nature's creatures you ingest you must excrete and finally someone's

[52:13] admitting it instead of just you know talking around it you know. Don't talk about ladies

[52:19] squeezing the toilet paper in the supermarket. That doesn't tell me what it's about. It is not just that the

[52:24] bears are open about pooping. They're very smug about it. I will be open about pooping. That's fine. It's the

[52:30] fact that like the whole family like really seems to like get off on talking about like they're so

[52:37] like happy to fucking talk about their bathroom habits. Get out of here Sherman Bears. Do you think

[52:41] there should be a commercial where they just show an actual bear like lazily taking a shit in the

[52:46] woods. That's one of the animated ones. He's like not me buddy. Charming. You do it. Admit it. Okay so we're nothing more

[52:59] than animals in clothes. You know I had like 10 more presidents but why don't we jump to the final

[53:04] segment here. Yeah. This is this is this is gonna require a little bit of audience participation.

[53:09] We're gonna put up a poll on Twitter. I don't know. Figure it out. Let's see if Twitter still exists by the time

[53:14] the episode comes out. Who knows. Let's see if we can stomach doing anything. We have a new one. This is a this is

[53:20] another game and I want people to vote on which they like the best. Each of us is going to pitch a reality

[53:26] television show that the other two flop house hosts will have to host. Hey hey let's say we'll do it on our

[53:33] Instagram. Try to get rid of them. We need more people on the Instagram anyway. You can vote on the Instagram. Yeah.

[53:39] Okay. So the other two will host. They don't appear on. They're not contestants. They're not

[53:46] contestants. They are hosting it. Okay. You after after selling the pitch don't have to be involved

[53:51] ever again. Okay. So I why don't I go first since I wrote this down and have an advantage.

[54:00] I think I would like to see a reality show called The Flop House where Dan and Elliot spend a season

[54:11] renovating a home renovating a beat up old house and they have to agree on all the decisions that

[54:20] have to be made. They have they have to work within a limited budget actually and maybe maybe it'll be

[54:27] a hotel. Maybe it's a hotel or yeah you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm doing. Yeah.

[54:34] So The Flop House a show where Dan and Elliot have to work together to renovate a a hotel.

[54:42] Okay. I'm going to pitch one called The Flop Health and this one Stu and Dan. There's a there's

[54:48] a stable of of minor celebrity contestants and Stu is trying to get them to bulk up

[54:54] and weight lift while Dan is trying to get them to not do that and just sit sit and watch

[55:01] kind of 70s Italian exploitation cartoons. And you have to see which which celebrities are going

[55:07] to be open to which things. And you can also they all live in one house together. And it's called

[55:12] The Flop Hospital. And Dan and Stu you can wake them up at any hour of the day or night and get

[55:17] them either exercising or chillaxing. Yep. Yep. And so the and the and it's at the very end you

[55:26] see which which and the celebrity that can best create a balance in their life. They aren't super

[55:31] bulked up and they are not just a catch potato but instead that they are enjoying life to the

[55:36] fullest in both ways. They win the and the chance to be the future face of Prego spaghetti sauce.

[55:43] Oh, so there's the competition element. Yeah, there's I kind of like this. Okay. Yeah. And

[55:48] that's the flop health. The flop. Yeah. Yeah. I just like to say I've you know, I've started going

[55:54] to yoga classes three times a week. So Dan, this is the Dan character. This is the Dan persona.

[55:59] I just want to I mean, I know I would rather be watching JALA movies. But anyway, I'm gonna I'm

[56:07] gonna my pitch is gonna be called Elliot and Stuart metal nerds. Okay. And it's gonna be like

[56:16] you will travel and to a bunch of metal concerts across the land. Part of it's like a travel show,

[56:24] like just being in these towns, we see like guys fuck around. But then you like hang out with the

[56:29] band afterward. And part of the fun of the show is Stuart's always trying to keep Elliot out at

[56:36] the party as long as we can. And seeing Elliot get tired and more uncomfortable with everything

[56:44] that's happening around him. Tell me about it. I got to go back to my hotel room to call my family.

[56:49] I'm like, I don't think so, dude. We got to go talk to these guys. This is your family of metal.

[56:54] Yeah. Wow. That sounds fun. Those are three fun ideas. So put on your votes over at the

[57:00] flybys Instagram, and then we'll make it I guess. And something I should mention before we go,

[57:08] this is not a joke. Although we're ending on a funny note, is that even reality shows involve

[57:13] people who are crafting a narrative who are that those shows are written. And so they should be

[57:18] covered by the Writers Guild of America. And someday soon, hopefully they will reality shows

[57:21] you are not our enemies. You are instead our brothers in television, entertainment production.

[57:26] And we hope to absorb you into the fold and our loving embrace and our health plan.

[57:34] Okay, so this has been another astounding episode of revelations on two boy talking tube to two

[57:41] dudes today. Yes way. I've been your host two boys, Stuart Wellington, and I'm joined by

[57:47] Dan McCoy and metal nerd Elliot Kalin. Yay. And we're on the Maximum Fun Network. You can check

[57:53] out more shows. You can support us over there. Thanks so much. Thanks to our producer Howell

[57:58] Doughty, Alex Smith for fixing this whole thing up. I think that's it. Bye. Maximum fun.org,

[58:13] comedy and culture, artists owned audience supported.

FH Mini 82 – Tuboy Talkin' Tube to 2 Dudes Today, Yes Way 2

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