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FH Mini 84 - The Peach Boys Smile
Transcript
Dan McCoy
[0:00]
Hey everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.
[0:08]
I'm Stuart Wellington.
Elliott Kalan
[0:09]
And I'm Elliot Kalin.
[0:11]
And we've got two really exciting brief announcements to make before we get into this mini.
[0:15]
Stu, do you want to go first or should I go first?
[0:17]
You can go first. Why do you ask me? Now I'm all nervous.
[0:21]
Because I trust you and also I play mind games with you.
[0:25]
It's a trust that I weaponize to throw you off balance.
Dan McCoy
[0:27]
I do seem to remember us working out the order of things before the show.
[0:32]
And then you threw it off immediately by asking.
Stuart Wellington
[0:33]
Merely the distribution, not the order, merely the distribution.
Dan McCoy
[0:36]
Elliot knows that I love erotic mind games.
Stuart Wellington
[0:38]
And so we thought, maybe I should just take the erotic element out and just do a straight mind game.
[0:42]
Turns out, don't like that.
Elliott Kalan
[0:44]
No, he only likes it when it's a web of seduction and betrayal, not just betrayal.
[0:49]
And the web he's okay with.
[0:51]
For more about sexy webs, turn to our previous mini about the 10 sexiest gremlins.
[0:55]
But first, I have a brief mention.
[0:57]
Later in the episode, I'll give you more information.
[0:59]
But I wanted to remind our listeners that Flop TV, our six-episode, once-a-month live streaming series, is coming to you.
[1:06]
You can get tickets at theflophouse.simpleticks.com.
[1:09]
But I'll tell you more about that series of live streaming shows later in the episode.
[1:13]
And Stu?
[1:14]
Can you believe it, guys?
Stuart Wellington
[1:16]
Next week is our 400th regular Flophouse episode.
[1:21]
Whoa!
[1:22]
What?
[1:23]
Whoa!
[1:23]
Whoa!
[1:24]
That's bonkers.
[1:26]
I mean, and we didn't even do the movie Bonkers, which I'm sure exists.
Elliott Kalan
[1:31]
Dan, that's, what, that's, what, 388 more episodes than Fawlty Towers?
[1:36]
Can you believe it?
[1:37]
That's true.
Dan McCoy
[1:37]
We're that much better than Fawlty Towers.
Elliott Kalan
[1:39]
Take that, John Cleese.
Stuart Wellington
[1:42]
He'll probably take it with a really, you know, like, really contemporary sense of relevance.
[1:47]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1:48]
And what comedy should be.
Elliott Kalan
[1:50]
He wanted to respond like a crotchety old man.
[1:52]
Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:52]
400 episodes.
[1:53]
It's a big milestone.
[1:54]
It'd be a bigger milestone if, like many other shows, we were weekly or we didn't have movie minutes or minis that mess up the numbers.
Elliott Kalan
[2:03]
Technically, it is going to be, like, our 550th episode, really.
[2:06]
Yeah, something like that.
[2:06]
But for our regular full-length episodes where we talk about a full movie, 400 next week.
[2:12]
Oh, my goodness.
[2:13]
And, Stuart, what special movie treat do we have for the listeners this time?
Stuart Wellington
[2:17]
Elliot and Dan gave me this big-ass list of movies.
[2:20]
And I'm like, no, there's only one movie on this list that I think fulfills all the criteria of what our 400th episode should be.
[2:26]
I said episode.
[2:27]
Who knows what I'm doing there?
[2:28]
It's some kind of a bit.
[2:29]
Because it's a show.
[2:30]
It's an episode of a show.
[2:31]
Thank you.
[2:32]
Thank you.
[2:32]
Thank you.
Dan McCoy
[2:33]
Inhibited by the ghost of Sean Connery.
[2:36]
Uh-huh.
[2:36]
Or inhabited, even.
[2:37]
Yeah.
[2:38]
A little bit of both.
Stuart Wellington
[2:39]
No, he came in and he messed up with my mouth.
[2:42]
We are going to watch and talk about Troll 2, the best worst movie.
[2:48]
But we're not actually talking about the documentary best worst movie that's based on the movie Troll 2.
[2:52]
We're talking about Troll 2.
[2:53]
Based on the movie.
[2:54]
A movie that I've definitely seen once.
[2:54]
That's about the movie Troll 2.
[2:55]
It's not based on the movie Troll 2.
Elliott Kalan
[2:58]
From an original screenplay.
[2:58]
It's not a adaptation of the story.
[3:00]
Yeah.
[3:01]
But Troll 2.
[3:02]
So, Stuart, had you seen – well, I mean, we'll talk about this in the next episode.
[3:05]
But had you seen this movie before or no?
Stuart Wellington
[3:06]
I had, but it was a very long time ago.
[3:08]
Oh, okay.
[3:09]
It was at one of those bad movie nights of yesteryear.
[3:13]
Oh, yeah.
[3:13]
Where friends would cluster around a table eating snacks out of bowls provided by somebody's mom.
[3:19]
Yeah.
[3:19]
And we would enjoy the hell of something that we found at a video store.
Dan McCoy
[3:23]
Fermented liquid.
[3:24]
Oh, I guess not if you're hanging out with someone's mom.
[3:29]
Well, no.
Stuart Wellington
[3:29]
Stuart was a grown-up.
[3:30]
My mom still brings me bowls and drinking vessels filled with fermented liquid.
Elliott Kalan
[3:35]
Stuart was – this was when Stuart was 27, but he was hanging out with 14-year-olds.
[3:39]
Right.
[3:39]
14-year-old kids.
[3:41]
And just going to mom's houses.
[3:43]
Yeah.
[3:43]
I provide him beer.
[3:44]
That's the reason.
[3:45]
Actually, now I have an image of Stuart as a college student dating a mom and hanging out with the mom's kids watching bad movies.
[3:51]
And there's something kind of heartwarming about that.
Stuart Wellington
[3:53]
I got offered that a lot when I worked at the hobby store, by the way.
Elliott Kalan
[3:57]
I believe it.
[3:58]
I believe it.
[3:59]
Well, that's what we're talking about next week, Troll 2.
[4:00]
I can't wait.
[4:01]
It's super fun.
[4:02]
That'll be our 400th episode.
[4:04]
400 episodes, guys.
[4:05]
I'll save my congratulations for next week.
[4:07]
Until then, I'll say, get back to work, lazy bones.
[4:10]
Okay.
[4:11]
Well, I guess that's my –
[4:11]
Don't rest on your laurels or your hearties.
Dan McCoy
[4:14]
My cue, which is –
[4:15]
Delete that part, Alex.
[4:17]
Regular listeners know that the so-called main episodes, the ones where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about them, and then the minis –
[4:23]
The ones called on main.
Elliott Kalan
[4:25]
Yeah.
[4:26]
A phrase that we invented.
Dan McCoy
[4:27]
When we're horny in an episode, that is one of the main episodes, as you all know.
[4:32]
Yeah.
[4:33]
And then on the off weeks, that's every other week, we do a mini episode, often about as long as one of the main episodes, a little shorter.
[4:42]
Tiny, yeah.
[4:42]
And we just –
[4:43]
It's a discount episode.
[4:44]
Yeah.
[4:45]
We kind of do whatever.
Stuart Wellington
[4:46]
Yeah.
[4:47]
We keep it pretty loose.
Dan McCoy
[4:48]
Mm-hmm.
[4:49]
Oh, boy.
[4:50]
Do we?
Stuart Wellington
[4:52]
Just like an audio sloppy Joe.
[4:54]
It doesn't get any looser.
[4:55]
Also, we're in a very hot room, so who knows where this episode is going to go.
[4:59]
Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[4:59]
I'm very close to removing my shirt and exposing you all to my aging body.
Elliott Kalan
[5:06]
Yay.
[5:06]
Wow.
[5:07]
Yes, please.
[5:08]
Meanwhile, I'm in a room that is air-conditioned, so I'm willing to go as long as it takes.
[5:12]
Guys, I'm just going to keep this episode rolling.
[5:14]
Oh, no.
[5:15]
Woo.
Dan McCoy
[5:16]
So, look, it's no secret that the world has been a difficult place to be in, and we got no other place to go.
[5:24]
It's the world.
[5:25]
We can't go somewhere else without opting out entirely, which is not necessarily a good option.
Stuart Wellington
[5:31]
Yeah, you were just telling me the other day how much you think it's getting harder and harder for a straight white male comedy writer.
[5:37]
No.
[5:38]
Let's swerve away from that.
Elliott Kalan
[5:39]
Instead, I'll say that – Dan, you're right.
[5:41]
It's just like King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard said, there is no planet B.
[5:44]
It's just this one.
[5:46]
And so it is harder to do things.
[5:48]
I mean, it's – I look at the world around me and I'm like, whatever happened to predictability?
[5:53]
Milkman, the paperboy, evening TV, everywhere you look.
[5:58]
Anyway.
[5:59]
You had everything you needed.
Dan McCoy
[6:00]
Milk to drink, a paper to read, and a TV to watch.
[6:04]
Yep.
Elliott Kalan
[6:05]
So, Dan, so you take this as an endorsement of Nikki Haley's recent tweet about how things were much better when we were younger?
[6:11]
Again, no.
[6:12]
It's not –
[6:13]
I wish that Nikki Haley was exactly right so she could be like, remember when things were easier when you were younger and you went home and the Disney afternoon was two hours of programming that you could just sit and watch?
[6:22]
And then Saved by the Bell reruns would start on two different channels?
Dan McCoy
[6:25]
Many of the reasons the world is more difficult are because of things that Nikki Haley would approve of.
[6:31]
But we're not going to get into –
[6:32]
I guess that's true.
[6:32]
That's true.
[6:32]
We're not going to get into politics.
[6:33]
Let's not get political, Dan.
[6:34]
Come on.
[6:34]
We don't need to get political.
[6:35]
It's just been a difficult time for a lot of people.
[6:39]
You know, we had a pandemic, et cetera.
[6:41]
A pant-emic?
[6:43]
Uh-huh.
[6:44]
What?
[6:45]
No, keep going.
[6:45]
What is that?
Elliott Kalan
[6:46]
It sounded like you said pant-emic, like with a T.
[6:49]
Like it was an epidemic of pants.
Dan McCoy
[6:51]
Yeah, well, I mean, I guess there is kind of an epidemic of pants going on.
[6:55]
Like I –
[6:56]
We're wearing them.
[6:57]
A lot of people are wearing them.
[6:58]
Yeah.
[6:58]
Like, you know.
[6:59]
They're everywhere.
[7:00]
They're all over the place.
[7:00]
You see some skirts and dresses and quilts and, of course, shorts.
[7:03]
It's like –
Stuart Wellington
[7:04]
Some of them are like skinny.
[7:05]
Some of them are blousey.
[7:06]
Some of them are –
[7:07]
Bell bottoms.
[7:08]
High rise.
[7:10]
It's just like in that –
Dan McCoy
[7:11]
Some of them are on top of boots with the fur.
Elliott Kalan
[7:15]
That's a particular form of jeans that are shaped particularly around the bottom.
[7:19]
Yeah.
[7:19]
Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[7:20]
My point is I thought let's talk about some nice stuff.
[7:23]
Let's talk about some nice stuff and, you know, with a 400th episode.
[7:27]
And why we can't have it.
[7:29]
Why we can't have nice things.
[7:30]
Yeah.
[7:31]
Let's –
[7:32]
With a 400th episode coming up, let us discuss some things that we do.
[7:38]
I'm going to lead us into a discussion of things that we, the Flophouse, do, the individual members, for ourselves.
[7:45]
Things we enjoy.
[7:47]
It seemed like a nice topic.
[7:49]
Also, I get to know your topic.
[7:51]
You know, 400 episodes in is the time to do it.
[7:53]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[7:54]
So people can find out.
[7:55]
Meet the floppers.
[7:56]
And also, this has a secondary purpose, which is I have many fine qualities as a person.
[8:03]
But I also have many –
[8:04]
Yeah, of course you do.
[8:05]
Many negative qualities.
[8:06]
And one of them is I'm not that good at asking people personal questions about themselves.
[8:10]
I was brought up in the Midwest where I think this was looked upon as prying rather than showing an interest in other humans, which is how, you know, most adults that I've encountered have taken it.
[8:22]
And so that's why I come off to many people until I know them.
[8:27]
And even afterwards –
[8:29]
You come off like what?
[8:30]
A cold, aloof, self-absorbed.
[8:32]
Yeah, yeah.
Dan McCoy
[8:32]
They call them an ice man.
[8:33]
Yeah, yeah.
[8:35]
Yes.
[8:35]
Thank you, Stuart.
[8:36]
That's what you hear what they say.
[8:37]
For providing multiple options.
Stuart Wellington
[8:38]
Handsome, snugglable.
[8:41]
Yeah.
[8:41]
Okay.
Dan McCoy
[8:41]
Thanks for looking up.
[8:43]
So this is also a chance for me to test my question-asking skills.
[8:50]
Yeah.
[8:51]
And I'll share my own stuff too.
[8:52]
But let's, you know, let's start off not with me.
[8:55]
Let's start off with –
[8:56]
Let's start.
[8:57]
Let's turn the –
[8:57]
Let's turn the –
[8:58]
Who boasts –
[8:59]
He was boasting of all of the self-care he does on our text chain in – what is it?
[9:08]
In opposition to Elliot who is very busy with a lot of family life and doesn't maybe –
Stuart Wellington
[9:13]
Yeah, I'm hoping to inspire Elliot a little here.
Elliott Kalan
[9:16]
Let's see.
[9:16]
Yeah, since I feel like we do – we are in a sort of the change-up type situation.
[9:20]
Stuart, where your life is a life of freewheeling hedonism and mine is a life of responsibility.
[9:25]
And we just find – we got to find a fountain to pee in.
[9:27]
We got to find a fountain.
Dan McCoy
[9:28]
He is a small business owner.
[9:31]
It doesn't sound like a –
[9:32]
A small business owner.
Elliott Kalan
[9:33]
But his business is also a place of freewheeling hedonism.
[9:36]
He does run the bar that – let me read.
[9:38]
New York Magazine referred to as –
[9:40]
Sure.
Elliott Kalan
[9:40]
But most of what –
[9:40]
As the most sex partyist libation zone in New York.
Dan McCoy
[9:44]
Stuart's stories to me are mostly about things he's had to unclog, though.
Elliott Kalan
[9:50]
Yeah, I do hear a lot of stories from him about cleaning things out of bathrooms of various sizes.
[9:54]
Sorry I'm late.
Stuart Wellington
[9:54]
I had a plumbing issue.
[9:56]
Euphemism not intended.
[9:58]
Yeah.
[9:59]
Let's see.
[10:00]
Things I do.
[10:01]
Well, self-care.
[10:04]
I mean, well, honestly, you know, some of that's just between me and my OnlyFans creator.
[10:08]
But I guess that's not entirely just for me because I do exchange money for services.
[10:14]
I mean, it is only for fans.
[10:16]
And I don't know, the occasional loving comment.
[10:19]
I don't know if I ever told this story on air.
[10:23]
Probably not.
[10:25]
Based on where this has been going.
[10:27]
My number one favorite interaction I ever saw on, like, an OnlyFans site.
[10:31]
A creator had posted, like, a sexy pic.
[10:34]
And there was a single comment under that pic, and it was from user J.R.R. Tolkien.
[10:40]
And the comment read, wank time.
[10:44]
And I spit out my drink onto my phone.
[10:47]
Thank God.
Elliott Kalan
[10:49]
You know that, like, most humans usually wank once a day or maybe twice.
[10:53]
But hobbits wank up to five times a day.
[10:56]
They have little wanks throughout.
[10:57]
Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[10:57]
I feel like we've gotten into a weird area almost immediately.
[11:00]
But I do want to say, like, this is always the feeling.
Elliott Kalan
[11:02]
The J.R.R. Tolkien masturbation area that we didn't expect us to get into.
Dan McCoy
[11:05]
Yeah.
[11:05]
I mean, this is always the feeling that I see whenever, like, a site that has porn on it
[11:11]
also has a comment section for the porn where it's, like, people are, like, posting time codes and whatever.
[11:17]
And, like, Minecraft tips.
[11:19]
It's, like, I don't need the exact moment that you achieved orgasm.
[11:25]
That's what the time code's for?
[11:27]
I think that it's an expression of extra appreciation for whatever happened.
[11:33]
Dan, you're saying they've never –
[11:34]
It's like using a digital highlighter.
Elliott Kalan
[11:36]
Yeah.
[11:37]
Dan, you've never listened to a song and been like, this drum solo, it's amazing.
[11:41]
Hold on.
[11:42]
You've got to hear this.
[11:43]
And handed the headphones to, say, Zach Braff in the waiting room of, I don't know, a doctor's office or something.
[11:48]
I feel like –
[11:49]
And changed his life.
Dan McCoy
[11:50]
Yeah, you changed his life.
[11:50]
I feel like I'm a pretty sex-positive person.
[11:53]
I don't need comments.
Elliott Kalan
[11:55]
I will say the –
[11:58]
I was recently reading a survey of comments left on porn videos where they were kind of classifying it into the different kinds.
[12:07]
And you have those and you have the comments where it's, like, making fun of the video that they just watched, which I feel is funny because it's, like, what we do but for pornography.
[12:17]
What we do but for pornography and the amateur level of that.
[12:19]
But then there's also – you get very real comments from people that are, like, about how sad they are.
[12:25]
And it's like –
Stuart Wellington
[12:26]
It's like I'm going on a date for my first time.
[12:28]
Guys, wish me luck.
[12:29]
And, like, ten people are like, good luck, bro.
[12:31]
I can't – fill us in, et cetera, et cetera.
Elliott Kalan
[12:34]
Well, that's one of the amazing things about the internet these days is – I mean you see this, I guess, a lot on Reddit where it's, like, someone is – finally someone has a place to get, like – I know there's a lot of negative feedback on the internet mostly.
[12:44]
But you can find places where people can get –
[12:45]
Like there's podcasts sometimes.
[12:46]
Exactly, yeah.
[12:47]
You can get, like, positive feedback and support from people about things that are hard to get support about in regular life.
[12:53]
There was a – there's a – this is another thing I was reading about a while back where this guy had a sex fantasy involving a woman dressed as a clown and he wanted to make it happen.
[13:01]
And he got so much positive support from people online on Reddit and they were like, yeah, you're doing it.
[13:07]
This is great.
[13:07]
They were all very – they were all really happy for him.
[13:09]
So –
[13:10]
Oh, that's great.
[13:10]
Yeah, that's really –
Stuart Wellington
[13:11]
It's kind of thing you can't – you can't go to your parents and ask for that probably.
[13:14]
Yeah, in theory not.
[13:15]
So to get back to my actual self-care, as like Dan said, I do a lot of things for self-care.
[13:22]
I have structured my life around taking care of myself.
[13:25]
It's something that I have a tendency not to do.
[13:28]
So I'm trying to put an effort into things just for me.
[13:32]
I think Dan at least can identify with this and Elliot as well that I occasionally fall into caretaker mode where I try and put other people's needs and wants before my own.
Elliott Kalan
[13:43]
Better than when you fall into soul taker mode where you have to walk the earth reaping the souls of the newly dead.
Stuart Wellington
[13:49]
Exactly.
[13:49]
Although that's pretty cool.
[13:51]
Can I go around with my infant son, Dai Goro?
[13:54]
You have to, yeah.
[13:55]
Oh, that's part of the requirements.
[13:58]
Yeah.
[13:58]
So one of the big things I do is I work out quite a bit.
[14:03]
I go to the gym four days a week.
[14:04]
And on off days, I usually do at least some kind of cardio and resistance training at home.
[14:10]
I know that like working out is for the betterment of my health, but like really I'm lifting weights so I can have like an hour and a half by myself listening to music and have nobody able to like interrupt that time.
Dan McCoy
[14:24]
That's interesting, but I can't visualize it.
[14:27]
Is there any way I could possibly see videos of you lifting heavy things?
Stuart Wellington
[14:32]
I mean, honestly, my TikTok and Instagram is primarily those things.
Dan McCoy
[14:37]
Yeah, I mean, here's the question and answer period.
[14:41]
What do you think it is about weightlifting in particular that caught your fancy when maybe other exercise?
Stuart Wellington
[14:48]
I mean, I think a big part of it is like being able to watch like slow incremental progress.
[14:53]
Like I, growing up, I had some weight issues and it led to some body issues that were caused by my parents.
[15:02]
Thank you.
[15:02]
And as I, so I'm not a big fan of weighing myself.
[15:09]
I find that like chasing that kind of number to be really bad for me mentally.
[15:14]
But like having a number like, like the weight that I'm lifting and seeing the amount that I'm able to lift go up steadily, you know, each month.
[15:23]
And especially at the beginning when you start weightlifting, you see those numbers jump really rapidly.
[15:27]
And then it's, it's also like, I'm a sucker for routine of that kind of thing.
[15:31]
So like being able to go to the gym and know this is what I'm going to do.
[15:36]
I have my rest times.
[15:38]
I get to listen to my music.
[15:39]
I like, I count down.
[15:42]
I, you know, and, and just having this, like the habit of it, I find really peaceful, like calming.
Dan McCoy
[15:49]
Um, see, this is where you learned that I, I like, I was like thinking of questions, uh, through the entire thing.
[15:56]
And, and, and I, and I, and I'm sure I had thinking about thinking about my, uh, my, my, my, my.
Stuart Wellington
[16:01]
I'm thinking about your sick game.
[16:03]
Um, no, but, uh, have you done any, have you done any, like weight training?
Dan McCoy
[16:08]
Uh, there was a period when I worked for Columbia university in a administrative position, like, uh, you know, just, you know, doing, uh, filing and such that I had a discount for the gym there.
[16:24]
And I would do weights, uh, every other day and running every other day.
[16:30]
I don't think I ever, I like to me, well, I guess that was the question that I was trying to remember to me.
[16:36]
Like, I was always worried so much about form, always worrying about like what I, like whether I was doing was right.
[16:43]
Like, whether, like it, I did not see gains as you would say.
[16:49]
And do you think that's just because I wasn't working with someone?
[16:52]
I know that you have someone who advises you about like what to do.
[16:55]
Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[16:55]
I mean, I, I definitely recommend if you're interested in getting into weight training to get a trainer.
[16:59]
And for me, that's also a big part of it is having somebody to keep me accountable and also to get excited for my progress.
[17:05]
Uh, like when I, when I like beat a personal record and he's there, like the look on his face is so, is so rewarding.
[17:14]
Um, but yeah, I mean, I think part of it is, uh, you want to, you want to work with a trainer so you can get your form right.
[17:20]
And also to get some kind of a plan that you, uh, so that you're, you're making sure that you hit all your different muscle groups and you're also giving your muscle groups time to rest so that you're not just overworking the same one over and over.
[17:34]
Cause I know you probably went in there and you're like biceps, biceps, biceps.
[17:38]
You're like, I want to, I'm working on these mirror muscles.
[17:40]
Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[17:40]
I want to be Popeye.
[17:41]
Although those are forearms mostly.
Elliott Kalan
[17:43]
But those are forearms.
[17:44]
Yeah.
[17:44]
And you started with the, you started with the anchor tattoo and you were like, and I'll get the forearms to fit with these huge tattoos that I put on.
Stuart Wellington
[17:52]
Every tattoo artist, when he has to do one of those, he's like, Oh, another one.
[17:56]
Another Popeye wannabe.
Dan McCoy
[17:59]
Yeah.
[18:00]
They have their dating profile.
[18:02]
Just looking for my olive oil.
[18:03]
They say.
[18:04]
Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[18:05]
A little pipe out of the corner of your mouth.
[18:07]
And Dan, when you got the chin implants to be more like Popeye, that was when you're going too far.
[18:11]
And I had to, remember when I came to your house and I had to stop you from poking one of your eyes out to make you more like Popeye.
[18:16]
I do remember that.
[18:18]
Dan, you're going too far.
Dan McCoy
[18:18]
I was deep into carriage at that point.
[18:19]
I was just muttering half, uh, half audible things to myself.
[18:24]
I'll never, I'll never forget.
[18:26]
And we were sitting at dinner and went.
Stuart Wellington
[18:28]
I think we just did the two worst Popeye impressions.
Elliott Kalan
[18:30]
Yeah, the word's terrible.
[18:31]
Oh, it's me, Popeye.
[18:33]
Like it sounds more like Bluto.
[18:34]
Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[18:35]
Hello, love, it's me, Popeye.
Elliott Kalan
[18:37]
Uh, it is me, how you say Popeye.
[18:40]
Oh, yes, yes.
[18:41]
Uh, we, we.
Stuart Wellington
[18:43]
So yeah, Lorne, you can just reach out to us here.
[18:45]
Put us on your terrible show.
[18:47]
When you do more Popeye sketches.
Elliott Kalan
[18:50]
Lorne Michaels is like, how do I get someone who can do a Popeye?
[18:53]
He's always in the news.
[18:54]
There's nothing more topical.
Dan McCoy
[18:56]
It's me, Popeye.
Elliott Kalan
[18:58]
No, it's not going to cut it.
[18:59]
Sorry, Colin.
Dan McCoy
[19:00]
I thought we had someone who could do a Betty Boop, but it turns out they had that disease
[19:03]
where their head's really big and, uh, less said about that, the better.
Elliott Kalan
[19:07]
It turned out they had sexy baby Asia, which is the, which is the disease that makes you
[19:11]
a sexy baby.
[19:12]
Or sexy baby stesia.
[19:13]
Uh, Dan, and the worst of it.
[19:15]
Thank you.
[19:15]
The worst of it, Dan, was when I walked, when we had dinner and you ordered the spinach and
[19:19]
you were stuffing it into a pipe trying to eat it that way and you ended up choking on
[19:22]
it and I had to give you the Heimlich.
[19:23]
Yeah.
[19:23]
And you said, if only I could give myself the Heimlich with these huge forearms.
Dan McCoy
[19:28]
Too hard to do.
[19:29]
Uh, I, say something, well, we're going to move on soon, but, uh, say something nice
[19:33]
about your trainer.
[19:34]
Why do you like your trainer in particular?
Stuart Wellington
[19:36]
Oh, uh, well, like me, he's a Pisces.
[19:39]
Okay.
[19:40]
This is, the other day, Stuart-
[19:42]
This character we do is a day of becoming who you are.
Elliott Kalan
[19:44]
The other day, Stuart, uh, my wife asked me, does Stuart, is he really believing in
[19:50]
horoscope script?
[19:51]
Does he really believe in astrology?
[19:52]
And I'm like, I think it started as a bit, but now he does.
Dan McCoy
[19:54]
Uh, let's see.
Stuart Wellington
[19:58]
Um, well, uh, he, I don't know, like, I feel like we, we get along.
[20:04]
We, uh, he's, he's like 25, so I can see like his youthful enthusiasm wears off on me.
[20:12]
And also it's fun to, like, it's fun to spend time and work with somebody who's at a different
[20:17]
place in their life and a place that I'd been in some ways.
[20:21]
And like, he's helping me, uh, become more of an athlete.
[20:24]
And I, I feel like I'm helping him become more of a grownup.
[20:28]
I'm like, no, you, you don't have to go to the cheapest restaurant all the time.
[20:32]
You can maybe take your date to a nice restaurant.
Elliott Kalan
[20:35]
Maybe don't go to Panda Express.
[20:36]
Maybe go to Panda.
[20:37]
Take your time.
[20:39]
Panda relaxed.
Dan McCoy
[20:42]
Panda, what do you got to do with it?
Stuart Wellington
[20:43]
They have high protein meals at nice restaurants too.
Dan McCoy
[20:46]
Uh, well, thank you, Siri.
[20:50]
Uh, Elliot.
[20:50]
What, what, I, I asked you for things.
[20:52]
Or Elliot as I pronounce it.
[20:53]
Yeah, but that's okay.
[20:54]
What did I say?
[20:55]
Elliot.
[20:58]
Okay.
[20:59]
Well, maybe I was thinking of Halliot, your celebrity couple name.
Elliott Kalan
[21:02]
That was, that was a, a, there was one time when Hallie and I were, uh, were pitching a TV
[21:06]
show and I wanted the title to be Halliot.
[21:09]
And people were like, we don't know what this means.
[21:10]
And I'm like, well, nobody knew what a Seinfeld was either.
[21:14]
You know, we're a Becker, but they still, you know.
Dan McCoy
[21:17]
I'm still not quite sure what a Becker is.
[21:20]
And, uh, Blank Check did like several bits about it.
Stuart Wellington
[21:23]
Becker's that fucking guy that hangs out with Dr. Bunsen.
[21:26]
Yeah, he's too.
Elliott Kalan
[21:30]
That would be amazing if Ted Danson was playing that part.
[21:34]
Yeah, that's.
Stuart Wellington
[21:34]
For the whole first season, they was like, wait, it's a different guy?
[21:38]
Well, they both wear doctor's coats.
Dan McCoy
[21:40]
Here's what I know about Becker, a show that was on a network and I think went for at least
[21:45]
six seasons, if not more.
[21:47]
Yeah.
[21:47]
Uh, it's, it's got Ted Danson.
Elliott Kalan
[21:50]
He's the, he's the titular Becker.
[21:51]
He's Becker.
[21:52]
He's a doctor.
[21:54]
Yep.
Dan McCoy
[21:54]
Dr. Becker.
[21:55]
And I think, guys, this will blow your mind.
[21:57]
I think he's a little cranky.
[21:59]
He's a cranky doctor.
[22:01]
And that's, that's Becker for you.
Stuart Wellington
[22:03]
Cool.
[22:04]
Okay.
[22:04]
When's he going to have its like research?
[22:06]
Is it, are we part of the new Becker show?
[22:07]
Well.
[22:08]
Kind of like how Frasier got a.
Dan McCoy
[22:10]
Like I said, uh, we're the second, uh, Brooklyn based movie podcast to bring it up within.
Elliott Kalan
[22:17]
That's one more and it's a trend called the New York Times style section.
[22:20]
Yeah.
[22:20]
Do an article about Becker is back.
Dan McCoy
[22:23]
Becker's back, baby.
[22:25]
Bafo B.O.
Elliott Kalan
[22:26]
Becker's back.
[22:26]
He never left.
[22:27]
Says Ted Danson.
[22:28]
Who has been staying at our house.
Dan McCoy
[22:32]
Who is?
[22:33]
Whose condition has rapidly deteriorated.
[22:37]
I mean, he just talks about Becker all the time.
Elliott Kalan
[22:39]
He thinks he's Becker now all the time.
[22:41]
Our life has turned upside down, says Mary Steenburgen through tears.
Dan McCoy
[22:45]
I married Ted, not Becker.
[22:49]
The full quote for the headline.
[22:52]
I'm being choir.
Elliott Kalan
[22:56]
Anyway.
[22:56]
Mary Steenburgen, quote, parentheses, clutching, clutching the Academy Award that many people
[23:01]
forget she won as a young woman.
[23:04]
What'd you win it for?
[23:05]
It was for Melvin and Howard, I think it was.
[23:09]
The movie about Howard Hughes and Melvin the Monster.
Stuart Wellington
[23:13]
And she won it for best stunts and effects, right?
Elliott Kalan
[23:17]
She won an Academy Award for animated short.
[23:21]
Yeah.
[23:22]
Okay.
[23:22]
For toot whistle plunk boom or whatever that Disney music is.
Dan McCoy
[23:27]
Let's leave the early works of Jonathan Dimme behind us for just a moment and ask Elliot,
[23:31]
back when you had more time to do stuff, what was a thing that you enjoyed to do just for yourself?
Elliott Kalan
[23:38]
Let me see if I can think that far back.
[23:41]
Let me check my old calendars.
[23:43]
Hold on.
[23:45]
Actually, I'll tell you something that I've just started doing again recently.
[23:50]
So things that I've – I always like to take long walks.
[23:52]
I love to take long walks.
[23:53]
I love to walk around.
[23:55]
My neighborhood in L.A. is not conducive to long walks because eventually I would hit a freeway
[23:59]
and my schedule is not conducive to long walks.
[24:01]
Luckily, the AMPTP has decided that the writers, the Writers Guild of America, should spend weeks
[24:06]
walking in circles in front of their buildings.
[24:09]
So I've been doing that.
[24:11]
But recently, I went back to an old love of mine that will sound very boring, which is
[24:15]
when I was a kid, I really loved those logic puzzles where you get like five clues and you
[24:21]
have to figure out like which person wore what color tie on what day of the week or something
[24:26]
like that.
[24:27]
And you have to do it through partly through deduction and partly through working the grid
[24:30]
that you mark off where the answers are.
[24:33]
And so now I've decided in the morning and sometimes at night I'm going to decompress or
[24:38]
recompress by doing one of those.
[24:40]
And it's been a really nice way to give myself a few minutes of just like a few minutes that are not work and are not parenting
[24:47]
and cannot in any way be turned towards a practical purpose.
[24:52]
Like the thing I love doing more than anything else is reading because I'm a big nerd.
[24:56]
But I often find now that when I'm reading something, what I'm reading will either be research for something I'm working on or will be in some way.
[25:03]
It's hard not to read something and be like, oh, is there something I can do with this?
[25:06]
How can this inspire me in my own work?
[25:09]
And with these logic puzzles, it's like there is no way this can be connected to my work at all, which is really nice.
[25:15]
And so that's something I've been doing for myself purely for enjoyment.
Dan McCoy
[25:18]
You have to solve a logic mystery in the course of your writing.
Elliott Kalan
[25:22]
You're right.
[25:22]
It's a good point.
[25:23]
You know what?
[25:23]
Forget it.
[25:24]
It's work now.
[25:24]
Yeah, I don't do it.
[25:25]
It's just more work.
[25:26]
Thank you.
[25:26]
I appreciate that.
[25:27]
Elliot.
Stuart Wellington
[25:28]
What if you get an email and it's Ryan Johnson.
[25:30]
He's like, hey, I need help come up with a logic puzzle for Knives Out 3.
[25:34]
And you're like, I'm not no scab.
[25:36]
You can't get around the WGA like that.
Elliott Kalan
[25:39]
I mean, if he asked me now, I would say, no, you can't do that.
[25:40]
I would say, wait till the strike is over, Ryan.
[25:42]
Then I'll help you.
[25:43]
Because I feel like Glass Onion could have used a little bit more of a mystery,
[25:46]
considering it was exactly what everyone thought it was going to be.
[25:49]
And then the hero said, this is dumb out loud.
[25:51]
And when the hero is saying that the mystery of the movie is dumb,
[25:54]
maybe the movie is not quite as strong as it could be.
Dan McCoy
[25:57]
You're on that side of that argument.
Elliott Kalan
[26:00]
Maybe the movie is just not for you, Elliot.
[26:02]
It's very – I enjoyed it.
[26:04]
While I was watching it, I enjoyed it.
[26:06]
And then after it was over, I was like, oh, so there was no mystery in that mystery.
Stuart Wellington
[26:09]
Elliot, there was a painting of Brad Pitt from Fight Club,
[26:12]
but with Edward Norton's face over it.
Elliott Kalan
[26:15]
There you go.
[26:16]
I also felt like it was terrible that Norton's character was killing people.
[26:21]
But I don't know why the Mona Lisa had to suffer for that.
[26:23]
I'm not sure what point the movie was making about that we should destroy art
[26:28]
to get back at rich people for hurting people.
Dan McCoy
[26:31]
We've gotten off topic back onto our normal topic of movies,
[26:34]
but I'm curious to know, Elliot, where do you stand on the Ocean's 12 divide?
[26:39]
Because I feel like there's a similar sense of none of this mattered.
Elliott Kalan
[26:44]
Is that the one where they – I haven't seen it.
[26:45]
Is that the one where Julia Roberts pretends to be Julia Roberts?
[26:48]
Yes.
[26:49]
That doesn't bother me as much.
[26:50]
No, that's not what I'm talking about.
Dan McCoy
[26:52]
I don't want to ruin it for you if you haven't seen it.
Elliott Kalan
[26:54]
Don't worry.
[26:55]
I'm not planning to see it anytime soon.
[26:57]
Okay.
Dan McCoy
[26:57]
Well, can I ruin it for you then?
[26:59]
Yeah, sure.
[27:00]
It's one of these things where – spoiler alert for everyone listening.
[27:03]
For Ocean's 12.
[27:04]
The heist that is thwarted towards the end is immaterial because as a series of flashbacks show us,
[27:15]
they actually just stole the thing they're battling, like stealing with the world's greatest thief.
[27:21]
Like they stole it way earlier on the train.
Elliott Kalan
[27:24]
Well, see, but that feels like a twist to me.
[27:27]
That doesn't feel like an undoing.
[27:28]
The same way that like – that feels like a later version of like the movie Gambit where the first 10 or 15 –
[27:37]
They made a movie about Gambit?
[27:39]
No, but Channing Tatum wants them to so badly.
[27:41]
It would be so good in it.
[27:43]
This is a movie with Shirley MacLaine and Michael Caine.
[27:46]
They had to be in the movie together because their names rhyme.
[27:49]
McClain-Caine gang?
[27:50]
Yeah, where the first like 10 or 15 minutes is them pulling off a heist perfectly.
[27:54]
And then Michael Caine says, and that's how we're going to do it.
[27:57]
And the rest of the movie is them screwing up every single step of the plan as they go along.
[28:02]
That's great.
[28:03]
So it just feels like a reverse version of that, like that kind of a twist.
[28:06]
I don't mind that.
[28:08]
What I mind is in the – what is it?
[28:11]
Now You See Me 2 where they're doing all that unnecessary stuff to keep them from finding that microchip.
[28:15]
Where it's like if you just don't keep throwing it to each other, they're never going to find it.
[28:19]
Like why are you making it easier for them to catch you?
Dan McCoy
[28:22]
Well, on a similar note –
[28:23]
Are you the Marx Brothers?
[28:24]
Like the Marx Brothers do that stuff?
[28:26]
I'm spoiling everything.
[28:27]
It's a compulsion.
[28:28]
Yeah.
[28:29]
Today.
[28:30]
I'm halfway through Stephen King's book, Billy Summers, and maybe this gets explained later on.
[28:35]
But the whole setup of the book is like, okay, we're going to put you in this town to assassinate this guy.
[28:41]
Now we're going to like – we're going to embed you really early.
[28:44]
So like everyone thinks of you as this writer, this mild-mannered writer.
[28:50]
And, you know, you'll just be part of the community when this happens.
[28:54]
And I'm just like, this is the worst way to do an assassination.
[28:58]
Roll into a town.
[28:59]
Shoot someone.
[29:00]
Roll out.
[29:00]
And leave.
[29:00]
Like this does not make any sense, Stephen King.
[29:03]
I know you're working hard to make it make sense.
[29:05]
And I still enjoy reading it.
[29:07]
But this is nonsense.
[29:09]
No, it's interesting to me because I'm on the other side of Ocean Swamp.
[29:11]
Like I enjoy watching the movie because it's a lark with a bunch of stars in the same way that I think you enjoy Glass Onion because it's a lark with a bunch of stars.
[29:19]
But I find it deflating to be like, oh, all that stuff I was watching didn't mean anything.
[29:24]
Whereas at least in Glass Onion, I think he's making a point when he does that.
[29:28]
Maybe.
[29:28]
At least he's trying to.
[29:30]
Maybe, yeah.
[29:32]
Anyway, we wasted a lot of time on irrelevant stuff.
[29:36]
So I'll ask you just one follow-up.
Elliott Kalan
[29:37]
I mean, Dan, while you were talking about rolling into town and rolling out, it did make me think of Jack Reacher.
[29:42]
And then I started thinking of a character named Jack Creature, who's the animal version of Jack Reacher.
[29:46]
Have they done that yet?
Dan McCoy
[29:48]
No, but Animaniacs would be fucking silly for that shit.
Elliott Kalan
[29:51]
Oh, they would love it.
[29:53]
Animaniacs, get on this.
Dan McCoy
[29:54]
Or the late Mad Magazine.
Elliott Kalan
[29:57]
Where is Mad Magazine?
[29:59]
They were supposed to be here an hour ago.
Dan McCoy
[30:02]
You could do any number of things that don't relate directly to your work.
[30:07]
What do you think it is that drew you to this in particular?
[30:10]
To the logic puzzles thing?
Elliott Kalan
[30:11]
Yeah, yeah.
[30:11]
I mean, when I was a kid, someone gave me a book of these damn puzzles and I enjoyed doing it.
[30:15]
So I was like, hey, here's something I used to like doing.
[30:18]
And I was in a bookstore with my older son.
[30:21]
And we saw – we were getting something.
[30:24]
I think we were getting a present for my wife and for her – for Mother's Day, I think.
[30:28]
And we saw those and my son was like, you should get one.
[30:31]
Like he was very adamant that I should get one.
[30:34]
And so I did.
[30:35]
You know, even then I was – I'm looking for the permission of a nine-year-old to – for things that I can do to enjoy myself.
[30:40]
But, you know.
[30:41]
I think I would have –
Stuart Wellington
[30:42]
Everybody needs somebody in their life that indulges them in their habits.
[30:46]
Yes.
Elliott Kalan
[30:46]
Now, my older son also just loves spending money on things.
[30:49]
If you can buy – he doesn't ask for souvenirs when we go traveling.
[30:53]
But if he can spend money on anything else, he will.
Dan McCoy
[30:55]
He just likes to throw money into the Grand Canyon.
Elliott Kalan
[30:59]
He's like, that's my souvenir.
[31:02]
He's like, instead of a souvenir, I'll just throw 25 of your dollars into the Grand Canyon.
[31:05]
I'm like, I mean, I guess if it still brings you enjoyment.
[31:08]
And meanwhile, my younger son likes things.
[31:11]
It's not the act of spending money.
[31:12]
He just likes things, and he doesn't care what the prices.
[31:15]
So, for instance, when we saw there was an elephant bird egg that was on sale for $26,000.
[31:22]
This is an extinct type of giant flightless bird.
[31:24]
One of the eggs is still around.
[31:25]
He has been badgering me for weeks now to buy him this egg.
[31:29]
And we do not have $26,000 to spend on an old egg.
[31:32]
I keep telling him that.
[31:33]
And he keeps saying, but it's not that much, and it's a good egg.
[31:37]
And so, guys, how do I make the money to do this?
[31:40]
I got to get this money.
[31:41]
Go fund me of some kind.
[31:43]
Yeah, that's what we'll do.
[31:44]
Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[31:45]
Yeah, I just wanted to say that before, like, I would hazard a guess, Elliot, that you and
[31:48]
I were two, were both two different flavors of childhood know-it-all.
[31:53]
And the idea of being smart was very important to us.
[31:57]
So, I would guess that logic puzzles, like, give you that feeling of, like, I'm a genius.
Stuart Wellington
[32:04]
Oh, Bugs Meany, you thought you had to drop on me.
Elliott Kalan
[32:08]
I'm not saying necessarily now.
[32:09]
I think that –
[32:09]
Mules can't have children, and that's why you're going to jail now, Bugs Meany.
Dan McCoy
[32:13]
I just know that for myself, when I was a kid, that was the appeal for sure.
Elliott Kalan
[32:18]
Oh, maybe.
[32:18]
I think – I mean, I've never been – counter to Stuart and maybe – or Stuart's current
[32:25]
self.
[32:25]
And maybe it's because I have to take a page from Stuart's book.
[32:28]
That book of called is called Two Boys Says Do You To You.
[32:33]
Yeah, and it's all about how you should be your best self, according to Stuart.
[32:38]
I've never been comfortable in my own physical body or liked my own physical body.
[32:42]
I feel like it's my enemy that I've had to fight every step of the way.
[32:45]
And logic puzzles are entirely a non-physical, entirely mental thing.
[32:49]
But I need to take a page from Stuart and get back in touch with this old husk and shell
[32:53]
of mine that my soul is imprisoned in, and maybe I'll find a way that I enjoy it more.
Dan McCoy
[32:58]
Yeah, I think you should.
[32:59]
Well, you know what?
[33:00]
That's a good segue.
[33:03]
Kind of – let me talk a little bit about what I'll bring to the table for this first
[33:07]
half of the mini.
[33:09]
Because so far it's been minimal, dang.
[33:12]
Wow.
Stuart Wellington
[33:13]
Just talking about spoiling Stephen King books.
Elliott Kalan
[33:18]
Stuart's like, let me talk about my feelings about myself and how I've helped that.
[33:21]
And I'm like, hey, let me talk about the few minutes I can find myself.
[33:24]
And you're like, well, Ocean's 12 has a little bit of a disappointing twist in it.
Stuart Wellington
[33:28]
The fourth time I watched Now You See Me 2.
Elliott Kalan
[33:32]
Which is eight, now you see me, so you do the math.
[33:35]
Four times two.
Dan McCoy
[33:36]
Well, it's not quite as good a transition now because we've been saying a bunch of garbage
[33:40]
in between.
[33:41]
But I also, you know, never had the greatest relationship with my body.
[33:47]
I was – like Stuart, I was a chubby kid.
[33:52]
Unlike Stuart, I am returning to my natural form as I grow older after a period during which
[34:00]
I look at myself in old photos.
[34:01]
I'm like, wow, I was quite slender and I thought I was fat.
[34:05]
So there must have been just some dysmorphia going on from when I was young.
[34:10]
I'm actually, you know, now much more comfortable where I'm at even though, I don't know.
[34:16]
For myself, I –
[34:17]
You've been doing yoga, right?
[34:18]
I little bit.
[34:18]
Well, that's what I'm about to bring up, yoga.
[34:21]
An exercise that is not going to burn a ton of calories, say, because it's not cardio or –
[34:30]
Or Cardi B.
Elliott Kalan
[34:32]
Not cardio or Cardi B.
[34:35]
But I have been enjoying it.
[34:37]
Or Cardi A.
Dan McCoy
[34:38]
Just recently got into doing it.
[34:42]
All the times I've tried it in the past were either in college it was not – it was something
[34:48]
I was taking as a physical course because we had to take a certain number of those.
[34:54]
And then I would just sort of try and do it at home to videos, which was never that much fun.
[35:01]
But there's a place around the corner now from where we moved.
Stuart Wellington
[35:05]
Videos of yoga, not like videos of Terminator 2 or something.
Dan McCoy
[35:08]
Yeah, I was trying to do yoga to Terminator 2.
[35:11]
And I'm like, how does he go through those bars like that?
[35:14]
I can't do that.
[35:15]
I can't do it.
Stuart Wellington
[35:17]
Doing yoga to videos of Jackie Chan GIFs.
Elliott Kalan
[35:23]
And Dan's like, I can't tell if Jackie Chan is in these GIFs or not.
[35:28]
No, there's a place around the corner for a flat fee.
Dan McCoy
[35:32]
You can get unlimited classes for a month.
[35:37]
I have been – I would say I'm a couple months into doing yoga three times a week for one hour during those days.
[35:44]
And I find that it has made me feel better physically, obviously.
[35:52]
There are specific reasons I chose yoga in that I have a lot of joint issues and unexpected –
[35:59]
Because you mean your marijuana addiction.
[36:03]
Yeah.
[36:04]
And an unexpected – well, I mean that goes great with yoga.
[36:09]
I find this for pot.
[36:11]
No, I – like I was joint issues.
[36:14]
I had some other physical ailments that actually have mysteriously like gotten a lot better since I've been doing it.
[36:19]
So I'm like, oh, this is good for me.
[36:21]
Yeah.
[36:21]
But also the thing that made me almost immediately be interested in it and enjoy it in a way that I've never enjoyed exercise before is I felt like it was elevating my mood specifically.
[36:36]
Which is a thing that people talk about with exercise.
[36:38]
But I've never felt as directly.
[36:41]
And I think there's something about the way it like works the whole body, you know, like slowly and methodically and has a lot in common with meditation that has allowed me to regulate my emotions more effectively.
[36:56]
Which has always been one of my big issues.
[37:00]
It's like I rarely like stay mad at anyone, but I can get mad quickly.
[37:06]
And that's not a good way to live life.
Stuart Wellington
[37:08]
So it's like patience and stuff like that?
[37:11]
Yeah, I would say so.
[37:12]
Yeah.
[37:13]
That's great.
[37:14]
Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[37:15]
So that's what I'm bringing.
[37:19]
In lieu of questions, let's talk about a few people that sponsor our show.
[37:24]
And by people, I mean corporations because I'm Mitt Romney.
Elliott Kalan
[37:29]
A reference that gets older and harder for people to remember as time goes on.
[37:35]
Hey, remember there was this thing called the 2012 election.
Dan McCoy
[37:38]
This is the curse, Elliot, I think, of like having worked on The Daily Show because like when those things were big, we would hammer them over and over.
[37:47]
Yeah.
[37:47]
For so long.
[37:48]
And then they become like, you know, like key references for us, whereas other people are like, what?
[37:56]
Anyway, I mean like I still remember Mitt Romney's famous joke, favorite joke, also famous to me about how there's no place like Chrome for the Holland days.
Elliott Kalan
[38:07]
Yeah, because we saw so much footage of him telling that joke at campaign stops.
[38:13]
And he would always tell it like, wait a minute, wait a minute, you're going to love this.
[38:18]
And he puts on his stinker face.
[38:21]
Yeah, puts his finger to his lips like, ooh.
Dan McCoy
[38:25]
But speaking of sponsors, if you want to laugh at our references, even if you don't understand them, maybe microdose gummies are right for you because our show today is sponsored by them.
[38:36]
Microdose gummies deliver perfect entry-level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good.
[38:43]
Hey, I was just talking about emotional regulation.
[38:47]
Look, I mean obviously, you know, you never want any sort of thing that you're taking to become a crush.
[38:54]
But I found that a little microdose gummy also helps even out my temperament in a way that has been helpful to my life and has allowed me to sort of think through my relationships with empathy that sometimes my normal brain for some reason cannot access.
[39:19]
I don't know whether it would be the same for you.
[39:20]
I'm just talking about my personal experience.
[39:23]
And that is sometimes what sells.
[39:28]
So I'm just telling you, it's been helpful.
[39:31]
Microdose is available nationwide.
[39:33]
To learn more about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code FLOP, that's F-L-O-P, to get free shipping and 30% off your first order.
[39:42]
Links can be found in the show's description.
[39:44]
But again, that is microdose.com, code FLOP.
Elliott Kalan
[39:49]
We are also sponsored this week by Soylent.
[39:51]
Let's face it, everybody.
[39:52]
We're living in the future.
[39:54]
So why are we still eating the same foods as our ancient ancestors?
[39:57]
Cavemen had all the time in the world to hunt for food, cook it, chew each bite 30 times before swallowing.
[40:04]
I'm a busy modern person.
[40:06]
I don't have time for all that.
[40:07]
That's where Soylent comes in.
[40:08]
Soylent is the leading name in food technology, making delicious and nutritious body fuel products in convenient, drinkable, or travelable formats because you can take it with you places.
[40:18]
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[40:20]
Try the Soylent Complete Meal, a convenient, ready-to-drink shake with 20 grams of plant-based protein, 39 essential nutrients, one for each step in the Hitchcock Classic of the same name, and 400 calories of slower-burning carbohydrates all in one serving.
[40:34]
On the go?
[40:35]
Need a quick burst of nutrition?
[40:36]
How about Soylent Squared, the 100-calorie nutrition bar?
[40:40]
Just like Albert Einstein said, eat equals Soylent Squared.
[40:43]
That's his famous theory of nutritiability.
[40:46]
New York spit take.
[40:48]
Soylent's incredibly fast and easy and perfect for people like me who hate cooking but love keeping my body alive.
[40:53]
I don't want to spend my whole morning or lunchtime laboriously assembling food.
[40:57]
Do you?
[40:57]
No, of course not.
[40:59]
So go to Soylent.com slash flop and use code FLOP.
[41:02]
That's F-L-O-P to get 20% off your first Soylent order.
[41:06]
That's Soylent.com slash flop with the code FLOP for 20% off your first order of the food of the future today.
Dan McCoy
[41:13]
Yep.
[41:15]
Ali, was there one other thing you wanted to say?
Elliott Kalan
[41:17]
There was one other thing.
[41:18]
As I mentioned on the top of the show, we are doing a series of online live streaming shows that we're calling Flop TV.
[41:24]
That's right.
[41:25]
It's kind of like if the Flophouse had our own TV show.
[41:29]
So we're doing six one-hour-ish episodes that are going to be once a month.
[41:35]
It's mostly the first Saturday of every month except for September to avoid Labor Day.
[41:39]
And in each of these episodes, we'll be tackling some of the most requested and most talked about bad movies in history, in the history of bad movies, that is.
[41:46]
And they're all movies we have not done before.
[41:48]
These are all new movies to us, but movies we have mentioned many times maybe without having seen them.
[41:53]
Which movies are they?
[41:54]
In August, we're talking Beastmaster 2 through the portal of time.
[41:57]
That's our first one.
[41:58]
In September, it's Cool World.
[42:00]
In October, it's – I know, Stuart.
[42:02]
Stuart.
[42:04]
Don't orgasm too much.
[42:05]
Wait for the episode.
[42:07]
In October, it's an all-American meat double feature of Hamburger the Motion Picture and Hot Dog the Movie, the two movies that needed subtitles so people would know they were not food at the movie theater.
[42:17]
In November, it's Over the Top, maybe the greatest sports movie ever made about arm wrestling.
[42:21]
In December, it's Ballistic, X vs. Sever, the movie that finally brought America's favorite IP characters, X and Sever, to the big screen for the first time.
[42:29]
And in January – damn it.
[42:33]
Now, January is Newkey.
[42:34]
We're doing Newkey in January.
[42:36]
Oh, God.
[42:36]
A movie I've seen way too many times considering it's the second worst movie I've ever seen.
[42:41]
Dan and Stu, have you ever seen Newkey before?
[42:43]
No.
Stuart Wellington
[42:43]
What a way to celebrate the changing of the year.
Dan McCoy
[42:47]
I feel like I've seen Newkey because – and I say this without any ire.
[42:52]
This is a thing that happens when you work with someone in a comedy show for over a decade.
[42:58]
But I've seen your presentation on Newkey at least nine times.
[43:02]
Oh, for sure.
[43:03]
Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[43:03]
The presentation where the central message is, do not watch Newkey.
[43:07]
Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[43:07]
We're going to be watching it for January.
Stuart Wellington
[43:09]
Every year you have this – you go into New Year's with a little bit of hope that maybe the next year is going to be better than the suffering and trauma that you just have gone through in the past year.
[43:21]
You know, often overlooking all the good things that happened.
[43:23]
But then you realize a few days later you're going to be watching and talking about Newkey.
Elliott Kalan
[43:29]
Yeah.
[43:29]
So don't let us waste our time alone.
[43:32]
Come and join us.
[43:33]
Waste your time with us.
[43:34]
Tickets are available for each individual show depending on when you can see it.
[43:37]
But there's also a discounted season pass.
[43:40]
You can get a season pass to the entire slate of six shows at a discount.
[43:44]
That makes it like you're getting an extra show.
[43:46]
It's like six shows for the price of five.
[43:48]
So go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com.
[43:51]
Again, that's theflophouse.simpleticks.com to buy your tickets now to these shows.
[43:55]
They've been selling like hotcakes since we first announced them.
[43:58]
I can't wait to put these shows out.
[43:59]
I'm really excited about it.
[44:01]
It is a streamlined, I think less patience pushing for the audience version of these shows.
[44:08]
It's going to be really fun.
[44:10]
And I think Dan and Stu and I are excited to bring a new level of energy and excitement to these classic bad movies.
[44:17]
Guys, is there anything you want to say about Flop TV other than the fact that tickets are at theflophouse.simpleticks.com before we go back to the show?
Stuart Wellington
[44:24]
Yeah.
[44:24]
So if nobody buys tickets, do we not have to watch Nuki?
Elliott Kalan
[44:28]
No, you still have to watch.
[44:29]
Actually, you know what?
[44:30]
If nobody buys tickets, I can say this because people have already bought a lot of tickets.
[44:33]
If nobody buys tickets, you don't have to watch Nuki.
[44:35]
Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[44:35]
Oh, wow.
[44:36]
I thought you were going to say I have to watch it twice.
Elliott Kalan
[44:38]
Yeah.
[44:38]
But they already bought the tickets, so he has to watch Nuki anyway.
[44:41]
Oh, no.
[44:41]
Oh, no.
John Hodgman
[44:46]
What is up, people of the world?
[44:48]
Do you have an argument that you keep having with your friends and you just can't seem to settle it?
[44:53]
And you're sitting there arguing about whether it's Star Trek or Star Wars, or you can't decide what is the best nut, or can't agree on what is the best cheese?
[45:02]
Stop doing that.
[45:04]
Listen to We Got This with Mark and Hal only on MaxFun.
[45:06]
Your topics asked and answered objectively, definitively, for all time.
[45:12]
So don't worry, everybody.
[45:14]
We got this.
[45:15]
We got this.
[45:16]
They can be anywhere.
[45:17]
At your office.
[45:18]
In your car.
[45:19]
And they are wrong.
Dan McCoy
[45:21]
My mom says that the gray house didn't exist, but she's wrong.
John Hodgman
[45:25]
He just does it wrong.
[45:26]
Someone in your life is wrong about something.
[45:29]
Something small.
[45:31]
Something weird.
[45:32]
Something vitally important.
[45:34]
Only one person has the courage to tell them just how wrong they are.
Stuart Wellington
[45:38]
You know what you did was wrong.
[45:40]
But your daughter is a liar who eats garbage.
John Hodgman
[45:44]
They call me Judge John Hodgman.
[45:46]
Listen to me on the Judge John Hodgman podcast.
[45:49]
If someone in your life is doing you wrong, don't just take it.
[45:52]
Take it to court.
[45:53]
Submit your case at MaximumFun.org slash JJHO.
Dan McCoy
[46:00]
Now let's get back to the meat of the show.
Stuart Wellington
[46:05]
We were just spending time with the lettuce.
Dan McCoy
[46:07]
Yeah.
[46:08]
That was the lettuce of the show.
[46:09]
That's the lettuce.
Stuart Wellington
[46:10]
Yeah.
[46:10]
And a little bit of onions.
[46:12]
Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[46:12]
Eat your veggies.
[46:15]
Not onions.
[46:16]
They're vegetables.
[46:17]
Yeah.
[46:17]
Speaking of which, I mean, I could talk about – I'm going to reverse the order back around.
[46:22]
Snake drag.
[46:23]
And I'll kick this one off.
[46:25]
And I could talk about laboriously assembling meals, which is a thing that I enjoy.
[46:31]
Don't do it.
[46:32]
Soilet.com slash flop.
[46:35]
It's called cooking and I do it.
[46:37]
But I think I'll talk about instead drawing.
[46:40]
And I think that, I guess, to analyze myself, the through line that I have with the things that I enjoy, and I see it with you guys' stuff too, is that it is kind of a way to be creating something, to be doing something active while shutting your brain down.
[47:05]
And drawing, you know, like you're not shutting your brain down, but you're accessing an entirely kind of different part of it.
[47:10]
And it was a thing that I did a lot as a kid.
[47:14]
It was probably my first, like, and most obvious talent.
[47:20]
And then, of course, I tacked away from that because why do the easy thing?
[47:25]
You know, why stick with the thing that you're most clearly good at?
[47:29]
And so I went into performing and writing instead.
[47:33]
Which you suck at.
[47:35]
Yeah.
[47:35]
Yeah.
[47:36]
That's the part of it that builds character.
[47:42]
You're a lot like Harrison Bergeron.
[47:44]
Yeah.
[47:46]
I wanted to weigh myself down.
[47:48]
Yeah.
[47:49]
No, but it's a thing that I didn't do a lot of for a few years or almost like a decade probably as an adult.
[47:59]
Like, first, I just got too far into, you know, like, once I was writing professionally, I'm like, you know, I'm going to, like, my energy is over here now.
[48:10]
And then there was a time that I think I was maybe a little down.
[48:14]
I didn't want to do anything.
[48:16]
But then I got back into it during the pandemic in a way that was a lot more intentional.
[48:25]
I would draw pretty much every day.
[48:28]
And I also took a couple of Zoom classes as a way of kind of during the pandemic.
[48:35]
It was like, well, you know, we have this time now, some of us at least, who then, like, were working from home.
[48:41]
I know a lot of people didn't have that luxury.
[48:44]
But we can't go and do things.
[48:47]
So I took some figure drawing classes and was doing it regularly and really started loving it again.
[48:57]
And I, you know, largely self-taught, you know, other than these classes.
[49:04]
Like, you know, I had art in high school and college, but I was not, like, an art student.
Elliott Kalan
[49:11]
You didn't go to art school.
[49:12]
He didn't have a beret.
Dan McCoy
[49:14]
No goatee.
[49:16]
But it's been interesting to see.
Elliott Kalan
[49:17]
When you smoked, you put the cigarettes between two fingers like an American and you didn't hold it like a Nazi or a Frenchman between two curled fingers.
Dan McCoy
[49:25]
Or with a big cigarette holder.
[49:30]
Wealthy person or a Nazi.
Elliott Kalan
[49:33]
You didn't have a monocle.
[49:35]
You weren't the penguin, basically.
Stuart Wellington
[49:36]
You were wearing a black turtleneck.
[49:38]
Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[49:40]
When you liked something, you applauded.
[49:42]
You clapped your hands.
[49:43]
You didn't snap your fingers.
Dan McCoy
[49:46]
Because we are broadcasters and it's more interesting to sort of draw a moral from these things.
[49:53]
I think that if I were to analyze why I got a lot better, I think, at drawing when I was older, was that it's interesting to see how different creative fields influence one another.
[50:06]
Because in writing, I had to be taught, especially at The Daily Show, 98% of your work will and can and will be thrown away at any time.
[50:19]
You can't get too attached to anything.
[50:22]
And it was kind of a nice attitude to bring into drawing where I was not as hung up on the goal.
[50:33]
I think you have to get better at something.
[50:35]
You have to get to enjoy the process, too, or else you're always going to be speeding towards the goal.
[50:40]
You're always going to be taking shortcuts or not learning or pushing yourself.
[50:45]
So you have to learn to enjoy doing the thing.
[50:48]
Okay.
Elliott Kalan
[50:49]
Yeah, I can see that.
[50:50]
Yeah, I think that's true.
Stuart Wellington
[50:52]
Elliot, back around to you.
[50:56]
So I remember when I first met you, Dan, it was in college.
[51:02]
And one of the ways—
Elliott Kalan
[51:03]
Wait, what song should we put over the montage that we're fading into of you guys meeting?
[51:07]
Or the flashback?
Stuart Wellington
[51:08]
Probably Fuck the Pain Away by Peaches.
Dan McCoy
[51:10]
Yeah, not all along the watchtower because then you'll think that we're flashing back to our time in Vietnam.
[51:16]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[51:17]
Yeah, you don't need that.
Stuart Wellington
[51:18]
This isn't that episode of Euphoria where they do a flashback that must be the 90s,
[51:23]
but the whole thing is shot and scored like it's a fucking 70s.
[51:26]
It's crazy.
Elliott Kalan
[51:27]
Okay, so I'm just going to pick To the Moon and Back by Savage Garden.
[51:30]
Okay, great.
[51:30]
That's the song that's playing.
[51:31]
Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[51:32]
So when we first met, you were doing a comic strip for the school paper, the school—the college newspaper and the Earlham Word.
[51:44]
It was called.
[51:44]
Earlham Word, yeah, Earlham Word.
[51:45]
And your—
[51:46]
I have a collection of that comic strip.
[51:48]
It's true.
[51:49]
Consensus, right?
[51:50]
Yeah.
[51:50]
Yeah, it was good stuff.
[51:53]
And so do you have an intention of doing more strip work or do you just like doing like one-off illustrations or—
[52:02]
because I've seen a lot of your stuff, but I haven't seen you do many strips since then.
Dan McCoy
[52:07]
That's true.
[52:07]
I used to do a lot of comic—
[52:08]
You do a lot of one-panel comics now.
[52:10]
Strips.
[52:11]
Yeah, I used to not like one-panel comics just as my like personal, you know, I don't know.
[52:19]
Like they never were as funny to me as something that was developing a character.
[52:22]
So I won't ask Gary Larson to be a guest.
[52:25]
I mean, Gary, you know, Farside, probably one of the best case scenarios.
[52:29]
Like I like the Farside a lot, but it was not my thing compared to strips.
[52:35]
But now I just want to do single gags and like not worry about—I don't know.
[52:41]
I just don't want to worry about developing a story.
[52:43]
And like I do that on the other side with writing.
[52:46]
Like I'm not as interested in it when I'm illustrating things.
Stuart Wellington
[52:49]
It also means that you don't have to draw the same character multiple times and have any continuity.
Dan McCoy
[52:53]
Yeah.
[52:53]
Have them look weird.
[52:54]
Figure out what they look like from different angles.
[52:57]
Oh, speaking of which, you know, I might as well plug myself.
[53:00]
If you want to see—
[53:01]
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[53:02]
Dan, you can do whatever you want in your private life.
[53:04]
But on camera—
[53:05]
No, I'm into it.
[53:05]
I'll check it out.
[53:08]
I'm curious.
[53:09]
Yeah, everyone's curious.
[53:10]
No, I have an Instagram called Dan McCoy Draws if you want to look at anything.
[53:18]
I don't really make my personal Instagram totally open to everyone because, you know, you got to have some privacy.
[53:28]
But this one's open.
[53:29]
So if you want to see Dan McCoy Draws—Dan McCoy's Drawings, you can go to Dan McCoy Draws.
Stuart Wellington
[53:33]
Now it's just going to make people want to be in that personal Instagram even more.
[53:36]
Now they made it so forbidden.
[53:38]
The one where you plug yourself.
Dan McCoy
[53:41]
Elliot, Elliot, what else do you do to bring yourself joy?
Elliott Kalan
[53:46]
I'm going to say, Dan, it's going to be like I'm stealing a page out of your book.
[53:49]
Your sketchbook, that is, because I've also started drawing again.
[53:54]
Drawing was also something that came to me very easily when I was younger.
[53:58]
I won the art award from my graduating class in high school.
[54:02]
And then I kind of—
Stuart Wellington
[54:03]
Because you drew that painting of the different Joker eras all sitting around playing cards.
Elliott Kalan
[54:10]
Yeah, exactly.
[54:11]
It was they're all playing cards together.
Stuart Wellington
[54:13]
Like Scarface is there and James Gandolfini.
Elliott Kalan
[54:16]
Wait, so they—
[54:17]
And Trump for some reason?
[54:18]
Joker or what is it?
Stuart Wellington
[54:20]
It's wild, yeah.
[54:21]
So Scarface is there, James Gandolfini.
[54:24]
Martin Scorsese is sitting there.
Elliott Kalan
[54:26]
Yeah, Columbo's there because he set aside his hatred of crime for one night.
[54:29]
Four cochlas in the background.
[54:31]
Yeah, and of course, and James Madison.
[54:34]
And the—
[54:36]
So I really wanted to specialize on art that would hang up in delis, diners, and pizzerias.
[54:42]
And so that's why I did a series where it was Elvis Presley, Humphrey Bogart, Marilyn Monroe, and James Dean looking at pictures of James Gandolfini and Don Corleone playing cards.
[54:58]
Yeah, so the—
[55:01]
But then once I focused on writing, similar to Dan, I started focusing on writing, and drawing fell by the wayside.
[55:06]
And it was something that I was good at it, but I was never going to be great at it.
[55:11]
And so I was like, why am I bothering with this?
[55:12]
There are always people who—I'll never be El Greco.
[55:14]
There will always be artists better than me.
[55:16]
And now I'm picking it up without a feeling of competition, without a feeling of this is going to be part of my career in any way.
[55:22]
And my wife got me a—I told her once, we went to like a fancy stationery store, and they had these great, very expensive sketchbooks.
[55:30]
And I was like, I wish I could get one of these, but I feel like I'd be too held back by the pressure that the pictures that I was drawing would have to be good enough to justify being in a sketchbook like that.
[55:41]
Especially since eventually I'll just fill it up.
[55:43]
Like it's not going to last me forever.
[55:45]
And for—as part of my birthday present last year, she got me a very nice sketchbook and like these kind of Japanese pencils that are really great.
[55:53]
Cool.
[55:53]
And so I've just been kind of drawing stuff in that.
[55:56]
I do a lot of drawing pictures from photographs.
[55:59]
I'll draw pictures of animals.
[56:00]
I'll draw pictures of like old Hollywood people.
[56:02]
I've been working on doing multiples of this one image of Groucho Marx that I want to get really good at.
[56:08]
And that has been a good way to, like you're saying, to do creative work that is not for a professional purpose or for a goal.
[56:15]
But it's just in enjoying the process of it.
[56:18]
But I need to carve out more time to do that because I'll often save it till the end of the day and then I'm too tired.
[56:24]
And the idea of looking at a thing and then trying to replicate it is exhausting.
[56:28]
But sometimes you can just lose yourself in drawing a lot of scales when you're copying a picture of a monitor lizard.
[56:34]
And it's super fun.
[56:36]
Very hypnotic.
Dan McCoy
[56:38]
I don't want to push you beyond your comfort levels, but I haven't seen any of these drawings.
[56:42]
So if there's ever anyone that you particularly like, I would love to see it.
[56:45]
But you don't have to.
[56:47]
I'll send it to you.
Stuart Wellington
[56:47]
I want to see this fucking monitor lizard.
Elliott Kalan
[56:49]
They're all on my Instagram feed, Elliot Draws.
[56:52]
Now, Dan, I've preemptively blocked you from seeing that feed.
[56:55]
Oh, wow.
[56:56]
No, I'll send you some pictures of those.
[56:59]
But they're not for fully public consumption because then I'll feel pressure for them to be good.
Dan McCoy
[57:04]
No, I know.
[57:05]
Honestly, once I started my Instagram feed, I felt like a minor lessening of my joy.
[57:12]
But I also, I don't know.
[57:13]
I like having a place that I can sort of put all this stuff.
[57:18]
And speaking of wives giving art gifts, I want to plug a great gift that I got for my birthday from Audrey where there's this book that is a bunch of colorful smudges.
[57:34]
Basically, colorful watercolor smudges that you are then encouraged to doodle on top of.
[57:41]
Whatever Rorschach-like you see in the thing, you add some lines.
[57:46]
And I found that it's not the same level of full creativity maybe that you get out of drawing your own thing.
[57:55]
But it has led to a lot more whimsical drawings with a lot of movement and motion that I think are cool.
Stuart Wellington
[58:03]
Did I ever get you that Ivan Brunetti cartooning book?
[58:09]
It's like based on the course he taught.
[58:12]
I have it.
Dan McCoy
[58:13]
I don't know whether you got it from me or whether I –
Stuart Wellington
[58:16]
I've done at least some of the lessons in it and I thought that was a lot of fun.
[58:21]
So I'm not going to talk about drawing, although that was something that I used to do.
[58:26]
But it's not something that is really part of my life.
[58:28]
Now it's just something that you used to do.
[58:30]
Yeah.
[58:31]
Elliot, I'm surprised you didn't say singing.
Elliott Kalan
[58:34]
I mean, singing everybody knows about.
[58:36]
That's a professional thing, yeah.
[58:37]
Yeah, that's a professional thing.
[58:38]
And also I do that not just for my enjoyment but for the irritation of others, which I guess is a source of enjoyment for me.
Dan McCoy
[58:44]
Yeah, going back to The Daily Show again, I remember fondly standing in line behind Elliot as he would sing about every dish that was in front of him.
Stuart Wellington
[58:53]
Oh, wow.
[58:54]
Yeah.
[58:54]
And everybody else was just like tapping their toes and closing their eyes to lose themselves in the music.
Elliott Kalan
[59:01]
Oh, work would stop until I was done and people would just cheer.
Stuart Wellington
[59:04]
Elliot's singing again, they'd say.
[59:06]
They'd yell down the halls.
Elliott Kalan
[59:07]
Wait, get into the lunchroom.
[59:08]
Elliot's singing.
[59:09]
Uh-huh.
Stuart Wellington
[59:09]
It's about broccoli this time.
[59:11]
Somebody runs to a phone, so they call the local radio station.
Dan McCoy
[59:16]
I thought they were going to call their cousin Marvin Berry and tell them about the broccoli song.
[59:19]
They'd go, you know –
Elliott Kalan
[59:20]
That would be ridiculous.
[59:22]
Yeah, they'd go, it's your cousin Marvin Berry.
[59:24]
You know that new sound you're looking for?
[59:26]
The one you want to use to torture people at Guantanamo Bay?
[59:28]
Well, listen to this.
[59:30]
And I'm just going like, broccoli, broccoli, what am I going to have?
Dan McCoy
[59:35]
Sorry.
[59:35]
Sir, what are you – what's your thing that you're introducing?
Stuart Wellington
[59:39]
Oh, yeah.
[59:40]
No, I mean I think – the thing is that I think a through line for all of us is that working in a –
[59:47]
that we're lucky enough to have like a career in a creative field,
[59:54]
but it also – part of the downside is that it leads us all to kind of see every creative work we do as a potential like avenue for business or a job.
[1:00:06]
And I have to work really hard to do that.
[1:00:10]
So I do a lot of model painting and I do some like role-playing game stuff.
[1:00:17]
And while I've done role-playing game stuff on our bonus content and it's great and you should check it out.
[1:00:26]
It's important to me to also have a space for doing those things where there's no performance to it.
[1:00:33]
I mean there's performance but there's no like I'm not doing this for anyone else other than me and the people that I'm playing a game with.
[1:00:39]
It's important to me to have that outlet.
Elliott Kalan
[1:00:41]
You need something that's creative where you're not thinking, can I make money off of this?
[1:00:45]
Yeah.
[1:00:45]
Is this something that I can – that eventually will lead to a payday or a professional bump or something like that?
Stuart Wellington
[1:00:50]
And it's nice to have a place like that where I can – with like role-playing stuff that I can experiment and I can – I don't have to worry about, you know, being able to present a finished product to anyone.
[1:01:03]
And when it comes to like model painting, it's something – model painting is actually kind of interesting for me is that like it's really helpful for me to have like put myself under strict goals.
[1:01:14]
Like I paint Warhammer models that you use to play in war games and I don't have a lot of time to play games anymore.
[1:01:20]
But now what do I – now I schedule games as an excuse to give me a deadline so I like push myself to get stuff done.
[1:01:29]
And then when I actually get that stuff done, it feels really great and it – that sense of accomplishment is really cool.
[1:01:36]
And then I kind of move on to the next thing.
[1:01:38]
I don't like – I don't like sit around forever like looking at the thing I painted.
[1:01:43]
It's just like feeling like I accomplished something.
[1:01:46]
Even if it's in some ways trivial, it still feels good.
[1:01:50]
And it gives me that like the – whatever the – is it serotonin?
[1:01:54]
What is it?
[1:01:54]
The dopamine boost?
[1:01:55]
Whatever the thing is that makes you – like I did something good.
[1:01:58]
Ketamine.
[1:01:59]
It's called –
[1:01:59]
Yeah, it's the ketamine special case.
Elliott Kalan
[1:02:01]
Naturally occurring ketamine.
[1:02:02]
Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:02:04]
Well, this has been really sweet.
[1:02:06]
You know what?
[1:02:07]
I'm glad we did this in part because I don't get to talk to you enough as friends.
[1:02:12]
Yeah.
[1:02:13]
That's true.
[1:02:14]
I avoid it.
Elliott Kalan
[1:02:14]
We're always talking about bullshit.
Dan McCoy
[1:02:15]
It's the whole business over here.
Elliott Kalan
[1:02:17]
Well, this is the other lesson is when you – also, we're lucky enough to do something professionally with our best friends.
[1:02:23]
But it also means that you have to make time for the friendship to not just be the professional thing.
[1:02:29]
And we're not always the best at that.
[1:02:30]
We can be guilty of making those things blur too much, especially since, guys, I've got a new business venture for us.
[1:02:37]
Huh?
[1:02:38]
It's called Flophouse Rent-A-Friend.
[1:02:40]
That's right.
[1:02:41]
Oh, okay.
[1:02:42]
So it's a long-term rental where a Flophouse fan can rent one of us for years of friendship.
[1:02:46]
And you get – depending on the package, depending on how big the package is.
[1:02:50]
Sure.
Dan McCoy
[1:02:51]
So this is sort of like a Truman Show cameo kind of combo.
[1:02:57]
Yeah, exactly.
[1:02:57]
But we're aware of it.
[1:02:59]
Yeah.
[1:02:59]
Okay.
[1:03:00]
All right.
[1:03:00]
Well, that sounds interesting.
Stuart Wellington
[1:03:01]
You're aware of it?
[1:03:02]
That seems like – that seems pretty messed up.
[1:03:05]
Does anybody else know about this?
Elliott Kalan
[1:03:06]
It seems everybody in the world.
[1:03:08]
It's the highest-rated television show in the world.
Stuart Wellington
[1:03:11]
But Truman didn't know about it?
[1:03:12]
Yeah.
[1:03:13]
Truman did not know about it.
[1:03:14]
His whole life?
[1:03:14]
Or did they grow him rapidly?
[1:03:16]
Did they have technology to make him grow up?
Elliott Kalan
[1:03:18]
No, he started as a child.
[1:03:19]
He was essentially a slave, owned by Ed Harris, and put on display for the rest of the world.
[1:03:23]
Yes, he did not have control over his own life.
[1:03:25]
But he didn't know about it?
[1:03:26]
But he didn't know about it.
[1:03:27]
Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:03:27]
Okay.
[1:03:28]
Guys, maybe I'll watch the movie.
[1:03:29]
I just now realized that he's –
[1:03:31]
Maybe I'll watch the movie.
[1:03:32]
He's 100% named Truman because that rhymes with human.
[1:03:35]
I'm both mad at the movie for it, and I'm mad at myself for not realizing it earlier.
Elliott Kalan
[1:03:41]
I didn't notice it either.
[1:03:42]
I didn't notice it either.
[1:03:43]
But wow, that's amazing.
Dan McCoy
[1:03:44]
But isn't this like the human show?
Elliott Kalan
[1:03:47]
Oh, my God.
Dan McCoy
[1:03:49]
Anyway, ponder that while having your microdose gummies.
[1:03:54]
This show is edited and produced by Alex Smith, who is doing it currently with one eye due to a surgery he had to do.
[1:04:05]
I'm just saying this to say feel better, Alex.
[1:04:08]
I hope it was okay.
[1:04:09]
Yeah, and so the audience knows –
[1:04:11]
Wait, put it on his Twitter.
[1:04:11]
I guess it's fine.
Stuart Wellington
[1:04:12]
So that the audience knows both –
[1:04:13]
Yeah, I mean I talked to him the other day.
[1:04:14]
He seems like he's recovering.
[1:04:15]
Okay, good.
[1:04:16]
I want the audience to know both –
[1:04:17]
It doesn't sound as horrifying as initially it sounded.
Elliott Kalan
[1:04:19]
What a hard worker he is.
[1:04:21]
He's doing this and also what bad bosses we are that we're making.
[1:04:23]
Yeah, what slave drivers.
[1:04:25]
Yeah.
[1:04:25]
He told us he could do –
[1:04:27]
Yeah, but Dan, sometimes people need permission to take time off.
[1:04:30]
Yeah, that's true.
[1:04:31]
Yeah.
[1:04:32]
But Alex, get this ready in time.
Dan McCoy
[1:04:34]
Alex, if you need time off, tell me.
Elliott Kalan
[1:04:37]
And he'll say no.
Dan McCoy
[1:04:39]
Thank you so much for listening.
[1:04:42]
Thank you to Maximum Fun.
[1:04:43]
Go over to MaximumFun.org for other great shows on this podcast network.
[1:04:48]
But for this episode of The Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.
[1:04:50]
I'm always Stuart Wellington.
Elliott Kalan
[1:04:53]
And I'll be Elliot Kalin until I can find something better to be.
[1:04:57]
Bye.
Dan McCoy
[1:05:04]
MaximumFun.org.
John Hodgman
[1:05:05]
Comedy and culture.
[1:05:07]
Artist owned.
[1:05:08]
Audience supported.
Description
Dan leads Elliott and Stuart in a discussion of the non-movie things they do to stay happy and sane. (But don't worry, film fans -- there's still plenty of movie talk scattered around. We can't help ourselves!)
Check out more info about our upcoming season of streaming shows, FLOP TV, and buy tickets!
Donate to the Entertainment Community Fund here, to support those affected by the WGA strike, if you’re so inclined.
Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping.
Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinflop