Flop House Classic - No Deposit

[0:00] Hello, Flophouse fans. For our 400th episode, we are each re-releasing an episode we particularly liked, that we thought was particularly funny, from our past vast back catalog.

[0:09] And for me, it was hard not to go with this episode. So I did. It's called No Deposit, and it's a special piece of work.

[0:17] It came to us from some fans, whose names I've unfortunately forgotten, but I'm sure Stuart remembers them.

[0:22] And they pressed a DVD into his hand and they said, you have to do this one. And it was this strange, self-congratulatory, self-saint-izing, self-canonizing movie from a very, it seems, unpleasant man named Frank D'Angelo, a Canadian beverage magnate who decided he wants to be a saintly gangster on film.

[0:45] And part of the joy of doing The Flophouse has been being able to discover crap like this, whether our fans lead us to it or we stumble on it ourselves, and having a place to talk about it and have fun about it.

[0:55] I think it's a really funny episode.

[0:57] There's a lot of really good jokes in it.

[0:58] And it's funny to listen to it now and hear how in the episode we talk about, oh, we've been doing this show for nine years.

[1:03] It's been nine years already when at this point we've been doing the show for almost twice that.

[1:07] So those young boys in there, they don't even know what they're in for.

[1:12] And you can really hear the joy in those young boys' voices before they'd been beaten down by another seven or so years of doing bad movies.

[1:19] So this is No Deposit, a movie I never would have heard of if we weren't doing The Flophouse.

[1:25] And I shouldn't be glad that I know about it, but I kind of am because it's a special form of narcissistic vanity project.

[1:32] And it was a lot of fun to talk about and to relive us talking about it.

[1:36] And I hope you enjoyed the episode too.

[1:38] Thank you so much for being with us all these years.

[1:40] And now, without further ado, a Flophouse classic, No Deposit.

[1:44] Hey, everyone.

[1:45] It's Small Timber.

[1:47] Small Vember.

[1:48] And we watched No Deposit.

[1:51] What movie is this?

[1:53] It's so small, it might not even exist.

[1:56] Did I get the name of the movie right?

[1:58] I think so.

[1:59] Yeah.

[2:00] Yeah?

[2:01] Yeah.

[2:01] Yeah, I think so.

[2:03] Check the DVD.

[2:04] And yes.

[2:10] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[2:34] Woo-wee, it's Smallvember, and I'm Stuart Wellington.

[2:38] And I'm Elliot Kaelin, being real small for Smallvember.

[2:42] So wait, so do you live in like a little shoebox?

[2:45] I live in a little matchbox.

[2:47] Oh wow, you're even smaller than I thought, Smallvember.

[2:49] I'm very tiny, I'll hop in your pocket.

[2:51] You won't know I'm there.

[2:52] Oh, so you can jump like a flea or something?

[2:54] Yeah, I have super bug jumping.

[2:57] Are you spying on me while I'm changing?

[2:59] A little bit.

[3:01] I can crawl up your chest hair in the middle of the night when you're sleeping.

[3:04] I think I saw a Up All Night movie where a guy was crawling around in somebody's pubes like that.

[3:12] But they were like, he was super tiny, so it was like Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.

[3:15] He was like...

[3:16] Or The Incredible Shrieking Man.

[3:18] Yeah, I think that's what the movie was.

[3:19] No, it was like Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.

[3:21] Oh yeah, the pubes scene in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids when Rick Moranis accidentally drops the kids in his pants.

[3:25] Yeah, and they have to traverse his jungle of a bush.

[3:32] I can only assume.

[3:34] just as in

[3:34] fighting off crabs

[3:35] just like in the

[3:36] we're like actual

[3:37] like actual crabs

[3:39] yeah yeah yeah

[3:39] like in the Rudyard Kipling

[3:40] classic The Jungle Bush

[3:42] in which Mowgli

[3:45] goes through some changes

[3:47] uh huh

[3:48] he gets real small

[3:49] and climbs around

[3:50] in a bush

[3:50] exactly

[3:51] yeah

[3:52] a bird in the hand

[3:53] is worth two in the bush

[3:55] yeah

[3:55] I've been told

[3:56] by who

[3:57] I don't know

[3:58] so what do we do

[3:59] here on the society

[4:00] your parole officer

[4:02] who told you that

[4:03] I don't know

[4:03] i don't think i've actually been told that you see two birds in the bush you drop that bird in

[4:07] your hand and you go for him because two is more than one while he's doing that i'm gonna pick up

[4:12] the bird that he dropped more bird for me okay but are you just gonna pick up one or is there

[4:17] a second bird for you to grab it depends on how many he catches okay what kind of bird is this

[4:23] why do i want it so much because you can eat it yeah but or companionship like a pigeon like a

[4:29] wormy pigeon gross one pigeons are a delicacy all over the world two why is it wormy is it dead

[4:35] already in that case don't bother with it not that not that none of the challenge you think it is

[4:40] yeah yeah stop waving around in your hand put it down that's disgusting where did you even get that

[4:45] for those who can't see because you're listening to this dan is holding the wormy corpse of a

[4:49] pigeon and he's just waving it around yeah his name's edgar and he's my friend oh don't pretend

[4:54] it's a back scratcher don't stop doing prop work with it now it's a phone oh i get it yeah yeah

[5:01] now it's a mirror now it's a microphone you're singing old doo-wop tunes into now you're telling

[5:05] it to talk to the hand i guess this is from the new show whose corpse is it anyway

[5:11] you gotta do improv with dead things that's like that old horror movie what children shouldn't do

[5:19] improv with dead things that's right so so what's smallvember dan well we'll explain what this

[5:25] podcast is and then explain what smallvember is well small timber as i meant to name it before

[5:30] my tongue slipped unfortunately it's it's a real uh champing at the bit chomping at the bit

[5:36] situation where pedants will tell you also pronounced pedants correctly is uh they will

[5:43] tell you it's pedants will tell you it's pronounced they will tell you it's champing at the bit or

[5:48] you've got another think coming.

[5:49] But real people say chomping at the bit

[5:51] and you've got another thing coming

[5:53] because they make more sense.

[5:54] They're better.

[5:56] So much as the pedants in the ivory tower,

[5:59] you've got another think coming.

[6:01] No one talks about having a think.

[6:02] You have a thought.

[6:04] You could say you have another thought coming.

[6:06] But what thing do you have coming?

[6:09] A comeuppance?

[6:11] Another idea?

[6:12] That's the wonderful thing about thingers, Dan,

[6:15] is that thingers are wonderful things.

[6:16] A thing can be anything.

[6:18] That's what the word thing means.

[6:19] It means anything or a hand that just crawls around on its own or a big rock man who smokes cigars before Marvel decided its heroes didn't smoke cigars anymore.

[6:29] And, you know, deep down, even though he looks like a rock monster man, he's got a really—

[6:34] Rock monster man.

[6:36] Down, down.

[6:38] He's got a really, like, good soul, you know?

[6:41] Sure, he is.

[6:42] He's like a good guy.

[6:42] He's still Benjamin J. Grimm, Aunt Petunia's favorite nephew, the ever-loving blue-eyed

[6:48] thing, whereas my son calls him the anything or the something.

[6:52] He hasn't quite wrapped his mind around the idea that the guy's just called the thing.

[6:55] But Dan, you and your ivory tower, Ivy League world maybe say small timber.

[7:01] All right.

[7:02] But us on the streets, the everyday folk living their lives and just trying their best to

[7:07] get by, we say small Vember.

[7:09] Nuclear.

[7:10] We say nuclear.

[7:11] We say library.

[7:14] You say foilage.

[7:17] You say washroom.

[7:18] I say washroom.

[7:19] Yeah, I say turtlet.

[7:20] And I say smallvember.

[7:21] Okay.

[7:22] A turtlet is half turtle, half toilet.

[7:24] It's a living.

[7:26] As seen in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtlets.

[7:29] So smallvember is what is it?

[7:35] What do we do on this podcast on smallvember?

[7:36] So normally we like to punch up.

[7:38] We like to make fun of big movies, or at least movies that got a wide release in theaters.

[7:45] Movies were the people who made them go and live in fancy houses.

[7:48] Yeah.

[7:48] But in Small Timber, we throw away our morals and decide to take on smaller movies, real passion projects.

[7:58] Yeah, yeah, and they're usually the best.

[7:59] And boy, howdy.

[8:01] Oh, gee willikers.

[8:03] Guys, now this is an example of why we do this podcast.

[8:09] Well, why don't you tell the story of how we came across this movie?

[8:13] Okay.

[8:14] Which is called No Deposit.

[8:16] I'm going to check on that right now.

[8:18] We're watching.

[8:18] A lot of Foley work there with the chair.

[8:21] That's a very loud sound of Dan.

[8:22] I mean, I also can just look it up online.

[8:25] Wow, it keeps going.

[8:26] That's Dan dropping the DVD box.

[8:29] Oh, Dan's picking up a slide whistle.

[8:31] Uh-oh.

[8:31] Don't open that closet.

[8:33] Clang, clang, clung, clung, clang, clang.

[8:35] What's up, guys?

[8:36] He's riding an elephant back.

[8:38] I've confirmed that it's called No Deposit.

[8:39] Thanks for that radio audio theater fact-checking session.

[8:44] So, Stuart, tell us the origin of No Deposit.

[8:47] Okay, now, I have been accused in the past of having a suspect memory.

[8:52] And I think this story is going to be probably the same as all the other ones.

[8:59] So please write in and tell me that I was wrong.

[9:02] But back in July, after one of our live shows, some fellows from Canada came up and talked to me.

[9:10] Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas.

[9:11] I can only assume.

[9:13] In disguise?

[9:15] Yeah, yeah.

[9:16] They were not wearing their trademark toques, drinking their Elsinore beer.

[9:21] And these two guys came up and had some very nice things to say about the show.

[9:29] They said they were involved in the film industry.

[9:30] and they also stuffed a dvd in your pants in my pants and i'm like hey guys hands off the

[9:36] merchandise and then i rolled some dice on the floor uh and then so they uh and they explained

[9:45] a real goon show turn that's right yeah so they explain the uh that this movie is this like

[9:52] passion project not unlike one of your fateful findings one of your the rooms uh and they

[9:58] Explain some other stuff that I kind of just tuned out,

[10:01] because I was riding high having just done a show with my favorite guys.

[10:05] Well, let's explain a little bit about it now.

[10:08] This is a Frank D'Angelo film.

[10:11] Now, Frank D'Angelo may be familiar to our Canadian listeners.

[10:13] As an entrepreneur, he owns a company that has an energy drink,

[10:17] and for a while he was...

[10:19] Surge, I believe.

[10:20] Surge?

[10:22] I think it's Surge.

[10:23] Okay, that's a great one.

[10:24] But it's Canadian, so it's spelled S-E-R-G-E,

[10:26] and it's a French-Canadian energy drink.

[10:28] i don't know that is surge but he's he's a successful drink manufacturer he had a brewery

[10:33] for a while which failed he has a band that's named after his brewery which he sings in and

[10:38] he's also the name of the band uh steelback brewery or the steelback two four or something

[10:42] like that and uh i think it's steelback and uh he also i mean we don't have to get into this but it

[10:49] was like we were watching the movie and i'm like this is crazy the guy's starring in the movie and

[10:53] he directs and writes it and he's terrible and he's just some businessman and then i'm looking

[10:56] him up on wikipedia and there's the part about his sexual assault charge that he had to face

[11:00] in court and i'm like this is less fun all of a sudden although it does explain why every woman

[11:04] in the film is a harpy probably oh yeah that's true except his loving girlfriend or wife no wife

[11:09] and he also hosts a uh a talk show that he pays to air in canada uh-huh what's the name of the

[11:15] talk show the being frank show and so he's a guy who like has money and decided he wants to make

[11:22] movies and he's made a couple now and his trademark is that he hires real relatively big

[11:29] name actors to be them now before you get i mean that's most hollywood uh hollywood directors

[11:32] trademark is hiring big name actors yeah but not you usually your passion project guys who are

[11:38] totally outside the film industry you're neil breens if you will they don't have the wherewithal

[11:43] to and but like this guy is like it's he like he's on he's not as crazy as neil breen it's like if

[11:50] neil brain uh was on meds like was taking his meds and had an accurate view of reality except

[11:58] that he still thought he was a great artist and the greatest guy in human history that's frank

[12:01] d'angelo okay i want to note uh before we get into the big you want to know what love is yeah i want

[12:07] to note what love is um uh that this the movie is totally scored by frank d'angelo songs and that

[12:16] The DVD, the Blu-ray that we were given, has a copy of Frank D'Angelo's album titled Look Into the Stars.

[12:24] And it's accompanied by a photo of Frank D'Angelo that looks to have been taken about 20 years earlier than when this movie was made.

[12:32] Now, Frank D'Angelo is a true auteur.

[12:34] He wrote the movie.

[12:35] He directed it.

[12:36] He stars in it.

[12:37] He cast it.

[12:38] He gave himself a story by credit, which seems redundant when he wrote the screenplay, too.

[12:44] And just to point out, the soundtrack that is recorded by Frank D'Angelo,

[12:48] or I like to call him Frank Steely D'Angelo,

[12:52] because he provides some poppy, upbeat, jazzy little renditions of songs like Hallelujah,

[12:58] which is always great in a movie.

[13:00] And Live and Let Die was credited at the end, but I don't remember hearing it.

[13:03] Yeah, he must have disguised it really well in one of the earlier scenes.

[13:07] What I've always wanted is a jazzy, poppy, up-tempo version of Hallelujah, by the way.

[13:14] Yeah, exactly. You're like, Kelsey Grammer's not available to sing this.

[13:18] I guess Frank D'Angelo's our next best bet.

[13:20] But there were no stars in the heavens, or rather Toronto, the Toronto skies,

[13:27] because even though this is set in Brooklyn, it's very clearly not,

[13:29] aside from the huge swaths of stock footage of the Manhattan skyline that appears in the film.

[13:34] But there are all these stars.

[13:36] There's Paul Sorvino, there's Eric Roberts, there's Doris Roberts,

[13:40] and I have to assume what was one of her last roles before she passed.

[13:42] Is that a Baldwin I see?

[13:44] There's, well, we'll get to him.

[13:46] There's Robert Loja playing a Holocaust survivor, Michael Madsen.

[13:49] There's Daniel, Margot Kidder, Daniel Baldwin playing the most anti-Semitic character I've seen in a film since Triumph of the Will.

[13:58] Yeah.

[13:58] There's Peter Coyote.

[14:00] There's all the, like.

[14:01] There's a real coyote.

[14:02] No, there isn't.

[14:03] There's a coyote from the Roadrunner cartoons.

[14:05] And I wanted to say that Dominique Swain is in it, but in the end credits, she's listed as Domiqe Swain.

[14:10] So that's either a typo or it's just someone who looks like Dominique Swain and has a very similar name.

[14:15] It must have been really awkward at the flashy red carpet premiere where Dominique Swain showed up and they're like, I'm sorry, ma'am, you're not on the list.

[14:22] Are you Dumeke Swain?

[14:23] No, I'm Dominique Swain.

[14:25] Well, you're not in this film.

[14:26] But it's the story of two men, one who through hard times falls on the wrong side of the tracks and takes the wrong road, and one who is the greatest billionaire saint who ever lived.

[14:39] Although we assumed at the beginning of the movie that it was a mobster, just entirely based on the way he talked.

[14:45] And looks.

[14:45] And dresses.

[14:46] He also sleeps wearing a platinum watch and platinum bracelets and a huge pinky ring.

[14:51] And gold chain.

[14:52] And gold chains.

[14:52] And like where I'm from, New Jersey, a big pinky ring means you're either in the mob or you want people to think you're in the mob.

[14:59] Yeah.

[15:00] Or you're Ringo Starr.

[15:01] Visiting.

[15:02] I mean, he doesn't show up in New Jersey that often.

[15:07] I really wanted to have some of this pizza I've heard so much about.

[15:10] What else do you do in New Jersey?

[15:13] Pretty much it.

[15:15] You want to go to a diner?

[15:16] Sure.

[15:16] You got a lot of them here on your turnpike.

[15:19] You got to pay your dues if you want to play the blues.

[15:24] And what else do you pay your dues than in New Jersey?

[15:27] Yes.

[15:27] I decided to take the family down to Wildwood.

[15:31] Really?

[15:32] Okay.

[15:33] I mean, it seems like you can afford to go somewhere much greater than that.

[15:36] You're going to take a swing by Sandy Hook.

[15:38] That's Sandy Hook, but he's English.

[15:40] I didn't get to be a beetle by throwing my money around.

[15:43] Maybe some guys can live like there's no tomorrow, John Lennon.

[15:46] But I can't.

[15:47] That was really tasteless of you, Ringo.

[15:49] That was a friend of yours killed way before his time.

[15:53] Well, if you're going to laugh about it, huh?

[15:55] I'm the one who's living off of his royalties.

[15:57] Ringo, this is a side of you I never wanted to see.

[16:00] This is a dark star indeed.

[16:03] Love you, Ringo Starr.

[16:06] you're gonna treasure so i just wanted to go down to obokin and see frank sinatra's birth house

[16:12] other words that start with h so i don't have to pronounce it now this movie begins with uh

[16:21] information about the housing crisis recited by a barack obama sound like that's up to debate this

[16:29] is a controversy that's been raging since the film started because the just because the sound

[16:34] like was so terrible and there's and we're given no in-film evidence that except that he refers to

[16:39] himself as a leader and says he won't let it happen again the fact is that also like brock

[16:44] obama's a real president who made real speeches i don't remember him ever making that speech

[16:48] i don't like no it's not i don't so it's and brock obama doesn't show up as a character in the film

[16:53] so are you saying that filmmakers never take historical liberties with things that world

[16:59] leaders yeah that's what i'm saying stewards just uh just writing this down in my journal

[17:03] but okay so we're given probably what five straight minutes six straight minutes yeah

[17:09] of stock footage of new york and just economic calamity graphs going down homeless people yeah

[17:16] animated graphs going down foreclosed signs being slapped on buildings while we hear this like

[17:21] speech by possibly

[17:23] Barack Foe-bama.

[17:24] Good one. People in barrels

[17:27] selling apples.

[17:28] Blind man with a cup full of pencils on a street

[17:31] corner. Yeah, yeah, of course. Stockbroker

[17:33] throws himself out a window and lands on a couple

[17:35] doing the Charleston.

[17:36] And they're stuffing themselves in a phone

[17:39] booth. Flag bowl sitting.

[17:40] Yeah, sitting at the flag bowl.

[17:42] Now, is that a bowl

[17:45] of flags? I was hoping you wouldn't notice.

[17:47] Or is that like the Super Bowl, but it's flag

[17:49] ball? Yeah.

[17:51] It's a good question.

[17:52] It is a good question.

[17:54] Because the Orange Bowl is a football game where they play with oranges instead of balls.

[17:58] Instead of footballs.

[17:59] Very messy.

[18:00] Yeah.

[18:01] They've got to stop the plays all the time because the balls have been squeezed too hard and just exploded.

[18:05] Yeah, yeah.

[18:05] So the movie starts with this guy, D'Angelo.

[18:10] We're set up to feel like this is going to be a real indictment of the housing crisis.

[18:14] Yeah.

[18:14] This is about people who really are having trouble.

[18:16] He's got a lot of big ideas in his mind.

[18:18] He's tying it into real world current events.

[18:20] I was expecting, you know, Steve Carell with a wacky haircut to show up and start shouting at bankers.

[18:26] Christian Bale to just be listening to Metallica while he drums on his desk.

[18:29] Now, this takes place after the housing crisis as shown by the opening.

[18:34] And yet later we see Dominique Swain smoking in a bar, which has been illegal in New York since well before 2008.

[18:41] Stuart, you're a barkeep.

[18:43] How do you explain this?

[18:44] You're a tavern owner.

[18:45] Well, that's the thing.

[18:45] Like, you can tell that the bartender, and I'm hoping bar owner Paul Sorvino in this movie.

[18:51] That would be really sad if he didn't know.

[18:52] Yeah, that he's like.

[18:53] If Paul Sorvino was just a bar back.

[18:55] Yeah, yeah, this is, he just works the day shift because he's not ready for the prime time.

[19:00] Well, the thing is that, as you can see, his only customers are these people.

[19:05] So he's like, I got to, you know, I got to cater to my regulars.

[19:08] I got to bend the rules.

[19:09] So we're introduced into the world of Eric Roberts, who's a banker.

[19:15] who's at work at 5.50 in the morning.

[19:19] He's talking to Michael Paré from Streets of Fire,

[19:22] who is, you average every man

[19:25] who has the hair of a man in his 30s,

[19:27] even though the rest of it is clearly not.

[19:28] She was wearing a 30-year-old's wig.

[19:30] Michael Paré's character is this...

[19:33] But, like, acid-watched jeans, too.

[19:34] He's this put-upon everyman who dresses like he's our age,

[19:38] or a little younger,

[19:39] and we're all in our mid-to-late 30s,

[19:41] and has a wife and a very young child

[19:44] who's maybe about two years old who is an enormous child like enormous baby this is the biggest

[19:49] goddamn baby i've ever seen he's wearing these fucking blue jeans where i'm like i saw the tag

[19:54] on those things i'm like those are bigger than my blue jeans these blue jeans have a 40 waist

[20:00] but he's a but so this he was supposed to believe he's a he's a man down on his luck with a young

[20:05] family even though he's clearly his children should be in college by this point but i mean

[20:09] that's why it's such a big baby but uh the child is actually 17 but so he is being told by eric

[20:16] roberts and we know it's early in the morning because eric roberts interrupts this this

[20:19] appointment to call another client and the client wakes the client up because it's 5 55 a.m so maybe

[20:25] this is one of those banks that's open early for people who have to go to work i don't understand

[20:29] you know like certain doctor's offices are like that yeah i don't know i don't know i mean like

[20:34] I can almost understand him like calling someone that early in the morning if it's really important, maybe.

[20:40] But I can't understand him interrupting another like meeting with a bank person who has come in.

[20:46] Or like making the appointment that early.

[20:48] Yeah, because you look at Eric Roberts and you see a guy who's clearly like a consummate professional, never does anything erratically, certainly doesn't comb his hair like a crazy person.

[20:58] And loves to be up bright and early in the morning, I'm sure.

[21:02] I mean, we have to assume he did not go to bed.

[21:05] So he calls Frank D'Angelo, the writer-director star who's in bed,

[21:13] and tells him, you have to come...

[21:14] Yeah, he's dripping with jewels and gems.

[21:16] You have to come down to...

[21:18] With jewels and gems.

[21:19] The classic of the French New Wave.

[21:22] Posters, DVD copies, the original screenplay,

[21:26] stills from the lobby cards.

[21:27] He tells him, oh, your company is getting an $8 million payment.

[21:32] That's a lot of money.

[21:32] There's these new rules.

[21:34] You have to come down and sign for it yourself.

[21:35] But you have six to seven days to do it.

[21:38] That's why I'm calling you so early in the morning.

[21:40] He then hangs up and then turns to his client and says,

[21:44] you haven't met your payments.

[21:45] We're taking your house away.

[21:47] He's like, I just wanted to do that call in the middle

[21:50] to really rub it in that other people have more money.

[21:52] What a power move.

[21:54] This guy's got so much money,

[21:55] he'll just stop by in a week maybe to pick up $8 million.

[21:58] What I think is great is he calls this Frank D'Angelo's character, Jimmy Valenti.

[22:04] He calls him.

[22:05] Jack Valenti.

[22:07] He doesn't answer right away.

[22:08] Like, he and his wife argue about how tired they are, and it's too early.

[22:12] They're not going to pick up the phone.

[22:13] They argue for a while.

[22:13] And then Eric Roberts is like, you know what?

[22:15] I'm just going to give him another shot.

[22:17] And he calls him a second time, and it finally gets him on the phone.

[22:22] And there we see our director.

[22:23] The first shot of him is lying in bed with the camera pointed directly up his nostrils.

[22:28] And also, the first two scenes with this character, he talks to Eric Roberts on the phone.

[22:33] Then he calls an employee of his to tell him he has to go down and sign this thing.

[22:37] Our director does not open his eyes, I think, once the entire time.

[22:41] He is sleeping through the starring role in his own film.

[22:45] Yeah, I mean, he's so into it.

[22:48] He's so kind of locked in and keyed in.

[22:51] Yeah, and I guess it also shows us that he doesn't sweat the small stuff.

[22:53] He isn't going to let this ruin his sleep because here's the thing.

[22:56] He dresses like a gangster.

[22:58] He wears these big pinky rings, black leather jacket over black T-shirt with black pants.

[23:03] His wife tells him, oh, I bought you a nice suit.

[23:05] He goes, ah, that's not what I wear, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[23:07] And he's driving around.

[23:09] Everything about him screams mobster.

[23:11] And I thought, okay, this is going to be a movie about a mobster who's breaking the law and succeeding

[23:15] and an ordinary Joe who's trying to play by the rules and is failing to show that the system is rigged.

[23:21] au contraire it turns out that he is not a mobster he is a successful businessman who's also the

[23:26] greatest man in the world but we'll get to that yes he's he's a man who only eats one big meal a

[23:32] day he says and he likes and it's made very clear when he meets with his executives in what is

[23:37] certainly not the only free room in a in an office it's clearly like i mean like it might

[23:43] be his office space because it's all i mean like if it's not his products are all over the walls

[23:48] Yeah, his products are all over the walls.

[23:49] It's all energy drinks on the walls.

[23:50] But those could be his character's products.

[23:51] A lot of this movie also we should mention was shot clearly in a hotel lobby, hotel restaurant, and hotel banquet room.

[23:59] And hotel, it's like, it's very poorly disguised.

[24:03] Are you talking about how the New York Police Department seems to share an office with like a marketing company or something?

[24:10] And interrogates people at what is literally the breakfast buffet area of the hotel that the bank and also his wife's tea room that she goes to visit appear to be the same banquet hall in the hotel.

[24:24] Everywhere looks like lobbies.

[24:27] I mean, his boardroom where this, you know, like, very wealthy guy doesn't worry about money, the boardroom for his company, which is a very large building with a name that is, I mean, it's so high tech that they literally have the name, like, drawn on in Photoshop, basically.

[24:43] They CGI the name in.

[24:44] His boardroom has, like, a cork board in it.

[24:51] With printouts that say, like, Salesforce winner 2014, just put up on it.

[24:58] It's a real mix of what we're supposed to be taking from the film and what we're actually taking from the film.

[25:03] But anyway, so while Frank D'Angelo is riding high, except he's got to go through the trouble of signing for this payment of $8 million,

[25:14] this other guy, what was his name, Nicky?

[25:17] Nicky.

[25:18] Nicky Ryan.

[25:19] Nicky Ryan.

[25:20] ordinary joe he can't find work he can't afford his house his wife hates him she screams at him

[25:27] to get to the baby the baby loves him because he's great she's like many women in this movie

[25:30] has a nightstand covered in empty booze bottles every every woman except frank d'angelo's wife

[25:35] in this is an alcoholic shrill harpy except for frank d'angelo's wife and the uh best-selling

[25:42] author slash expert on hostage situations who appears on the news later can't seem to stop

[25:47] grinning while reporting on a hostage

[25:49] situation. But we'll get to that. Dan, you had

[25:51] one thing I wanted to say. Is it about how

[25:52] Mickey can't even afford a hot dog with

[25:55] soda? He has to just get the hot dog?

[25:56] He can't afford to pay the extra dollar for a drink?

[25:59] $4, dude, for a hot dog

[26:01] and a drink? That's fucking crazy.

[26:03] And he says, how much for the hot dog? $3.

[26:05] $3 for a street hot dog?

[26:07] That should be a $2 dog. Only in Toronto

[26:09] pretending to be New York. Now let me just say

[26:11] one thing. I recently paid

[26:13] $10 for a hot dog. It was at an airport.

[26:15] There's always a markup.

[26:16] I was like, you know what?

[26:18] I'm used to paying, you pay $15 a sandwich.

[26:20] Why are you eating a hot dog in an airport?

[26:21] Here's why.

[26:22] Because I got a hamburger.

[26:24] My son wanted a hot dog.

[26:26] This hot dog arrived.

[26:28] It was easily 15 inches long, and it was delicious.

[26:32] And so I'll tell you this.

[26:33] So you're like, sir, I'd like to return this hamburger

[26:37] and pay the additional $3 to get the hot dog option.

[26:40] Now you're going to refund me for the unused portion of this hamburger, correct?

[26:44] And I want you to apply that credit to the hot dog.

[26:46] I'll pay the rest.

[26:47] It'll be like a buck.

[26:47] So here's my tip for those who are interested.

[26:51] If you're ever in the Phoenix airport, just go ahead and get a hot dog.

[26:55] Okay.

[26:55] What was the purveyor of this hot meat?

[26:58] Don't remember.

[26:59] It's hot beef and chicken.

[27:00] Oh, wow.

[27:01] Don't remember.

[27:02] It was just such sweet ambrosia.

[27:04] I couldn't hold it in my memory.

[27:05] Yeah, yeah.

[27:05] It's clouded the memories.

[27:06] So anyway, that was Elliot Kalin's hot dog adventure story.

[27:10] The hot dog diaries.

[27:13] I wrote that in an email and sent it to David Hot Dog Coveney.

[27:16] And he reads it while walking a hot dog on a leash.

[27:21] Yeah, because his character in that show is David Red Shoe Coveney.

[27:25] You don't know that it isn't.

[27:29] So, Dan, you wanted to say something about Mickey or downtrodden here.

[27:32] No, all I wanted to say was, like, he's got a great head of hair.

[27:35] His wife has no sympathy for him in this eviction process.

[27:40] She blames him.

[27:42] He's a loser.

[27:42] She blames him.

[27:42] Yeah, well, this is just like, this is what I want to say.

[27:45] Everybody in Mickey's life appears to blame him for his misfortune.

[27:50] Now, we don't know whether he deserves that.

[27:52] There's no back story.

[27:53] And we know that at least at one point he was financially supporting his brother and his brother's brother.

[27:57] Which we find out later.

[27:58] At first we see him as just like a loser.

[28:00] His brother who seems to be allergic to shirts.

[28:04] Oh, boy.

[28:05] And if there's one guy who should be wearing a shirt, it's this guy.

[28:08] I've never, like, this might be a harsh indictment of Hollywood's beauty standards, but I've never seen as big a pot belly in a film.

[28:17] I mean, that was not a pot belly.

[28:19] It was a cauldron belly.

[28:20] It was barrel chested, and that barrel was bulging.

[28:26] It was a botulism barrel.

[28:28] You could have hollowed out that barrel chest and put it on you because you're poor and you lost everything in the stock market crash.

[28:33] The casting notes say toad-like.

[28:36] Okay.

[28:38] Now I feel like we've gone too far.

[28:39] Yeah.

[28:41] So the thing is that...

[28:44] We're looking for a middle-aged man actor for this role.

[28:47] Description, if the lead boss bad guy from Super Mario 2 was a person...

[28:53] Sort of a King Hippo type.

[28:56] Okay, we're not going too far.

[28:58] He's had a long acting career.

[29:00] And like his wife, she says, you know,

[29:03] your son's never going to grow up to be like you,

[29:06] which is like, no shit, he's already fully grown.

[29:08] She's going to leave him and not share the circus earnings of her giant baby man.

[29:13] So the only place Mickey can find solace is at Alfie's, Paul Sorvino's bar,

[29:21] where the only other customers seem to be Dominique Swain as...

[29:25] As girl who just stands in front of the jukebox all the time.

[29:29] Hussie number one.

[29:30] She's Michael Madsen's girlfriend, I guess.

[29:32] Michael Madsen, who's playing the part of Low Life Sleazebag,

[29:36] And Daniel Baldwin, who is playing the most anti-Semitic character I've seen in any movies that's not about World War II or about skinheads in years.

[29:49] When you're watching one of these cash grab performances, you're assuming like they're in and out.

[29:54] They're just doing it for the bucks.

[29:55] But it feels like Daniel Baldwin's like, OK, sure.

[29:59] Yeah.

[30:00] What do you want me to say?

[30:01] I'll say that for money.

[30:02] Call Jewish people what?

[30:03] Lampshades?

[30:05] That's insane.

[30:05] He talks about how, he says, what comes between Monday and Wednesday?

[30:09] Jews Day.

[30:10] That's when they take everything from you.

[30:12] These Jews running the banks, stealing everything from us.

[30:15] And it's like, wow.

[30:16] He throws the K word around a bunch of times.

[30:18] And it's like, I don't even remember, maybe it's just because I don't hang out with a

[30:24] bunch of anti-Semites in bars, but I don't remember.

[30:25] You haven't lived, man.

[30:26] I don't remember the financial crisis being blamed specifically on the Jewish people.

[30:32] I mean, I'm sure anti-Semites did.

[30:35] There were a lot of Jewish people involved in those companies.

[30:37] I mean, Lehman Brothers is a Jewish name, you know, not brothers.

[30:41] Yeah, I mean, anti-Semitic people blamed the delay of the video game No Man's Sky on the Jewish people.

[30:46] All right.

[30:46] But yeah, but that was because the No Man's Skiewitz family sued them for a piece of the action.

[30:53] But it comes out of nowhere, and it's like, wait, I thought this movie was going to be about the financial crisis.

[30:58] I didn't know it was going to be about racism.

[30:59] And Daniel Baldwin really throws himself into this anti-Semitic part.

[31:04] It's very weird and awkward.

[31:06] And he looks enough like Alec Baldwin

[31:07] that if you kind of squint your eyes a little bit,

[31:09] you could imagine Alec Baldwin saying it.

[31:11] And I don't think the believer

[31:13] had this much open anti-Semitism in it.

[31:16] I'd also like to point out that Michael Madsen

[31:18] and Daniel Baldwin are wearing the same shirts

[31:20] in two successive scenes

[31:22] that are supposed to take place on different days.

[31:23] Yeah, that's why they're super low lives, dude.

[31:26] Yeah, they only have two shirts.

[31:27] You know why?

[31:28] Because the Jews took the other ones.

[31:29] Jewish tailors won't be charging too much for shirts.

[31:32] Yeah.

[31:34] So, yeah.

[31:35] So also that scene featured Dominique Swain playing the jukebox.

[31:40] We'd seen her earlier in a scene where she had super weird interactions, throwing herself at Jimmy Valenti at one point.

[31:48] And so Jimmy Valenti is driving down the street.

[31:50] He gets out and he accidentally bumps into Mickey and knocks him down.

[31:54] Once again, their paths cross.

[31:55] Yeah, it's like a Dickens novel.

[31:57] And so he helps him up.

[31:58] Hey, man, you OK?

[31:59] You look like you got the weight of the world on your shoulders.

[32:01] All right, we'll be good.

[32:03] Thus establishing he cares about everybody he sees.

[32:07] He's just such a sweet man.

[32:08] He's got such an open heart.

[32:09] Well, that and, like, in his business meeting,

[32:14] he's, like, very keen on telling the people, like,

[32:16] whatever charity we give to you,

[32:18] I want to make sure that the money goes to the actual people

[32:20] and not the administrative cost.

[32:21] 80% to 90%.

[32:22] And the guy who's handling the charity just keeps saying,

[32:25] I know that's how you roll, Jimmy.

[32:26] So, yeah, that's the thing.

[32:27] I took care of it.

[32:28] I know how you roll.

[32:30] He's trying that out.

[32:32] He showed up to work, and he's like, I'm going to try and be a little hipper, and maybe Jimmy will recognize that.

[32:39] I like this new thing the kids are saying, how you roll.

[32:41] Because it's like, you know what?

[32:44] I like a good roll.

[32:45] Sometimes, let me just be honest.

[32:47] True confessions here.

[32:49] I'm like, okay, Father, I've sinned.

[32:50] When I go to the restaurant, sometimes what I'm really looking forward to is the roll.

[32:54] Not even the main course or the dessert.

[32:57] It's crazy, I know, but that's just how I roll.

[32:59] I'm going to use it in the meeting tomorrow, okay, honey?

[33:01] and his wife is like go to bed it's three in the morning please stop talking about roles

[33:07] every night this will be the one time in the movie that a woman is justifiably angry at the man

[33:13] let me go to bed stop talking about roles so he's just a sweetheart he's just a honey pie

[33:19] and long story short they meet at their uh mickey uh stays with his brother and his brother's wife

[33:27] says i want that loser out of my fucking house he's a fucking loser you're a fucking loser he's

[33:31] a piece of shit this is a great scene in a bedroom where that's where we're introduced to the idea

[33:36] that this movie's like these characters are just not gonna wear very many clothes get used to it

[33:42] the brother who's an older gentleman is just sitting there in almost no clothes and so the

[33:47] next day he says you gotta leave uh she doesn't want you here and mickey's like i supported you

[33:51] for two years now you're throwing me out and uh so he's got no choice the only people who care

[33:56] about him are Michael Madsen and Daniel

[33:58] Baldwin.

[33:59] Why was the brother character

[34:02] shirtless in that scene?

[34:03] This is the morning.

[34:05] I mean, he couldn't just toss one on. I mean, if you're going to be

[34:08] throwing somebody out, you're going to have that kind of hard

[34:10] conversation. You don't want to throw something over.

[34:12] I don't know. Sometimes when I will go over to your house,

[34:14] you're wandering around in your underwear.

[34:16] Yeah, but I guess that's the same thing.

[34:17] It's a power play. You want to show off.

[34:20] You want to be like, who's

[34:21] the big guy around here? It's an intimidation

[34:24] technique. The way Lyndon Johnson would

[34:26] call people into the bathroom with him you'd think that would put him in the shameful position

[34:30] no no no he's he's making you feel uncomfortable so what his brother joe is saying is hey this is

[34:37] me this is this is me naked to the world and you know what that should make me vulnerable

[34:42] but it makes you uncomfortable i'm comfortable with my body all of it you're the one who's not

[34:47] comfortable with it shame on you get out of my house because my wife told me you have to leave

[34:52] But his sister-in-law is another person calling Mickey a loser.

[34:56] We also get Mickey's mom calling him a loser.

[34:58] He goes to a bingo parlor where his mom, Margot Kidder, is playing bingo with Doris Roberts.

[35:04] And he asks for her for help, and she refuses.

[35:06] Doris Roberts has a heartbreaking monologue about how her son died of suicide after a heroin addiction.

[35:13] Which he repeats twice, once with Margot Kidder out of the room and once with her back in the room.

[35:17] So he's got nowhere to turn except these two anti-Semites.

[35:22] He joins their group.

[35:23] He doesn't get his head totally shaved,

[35:25] but he gets a buzz cut.

[35:26] It's really great.

[35:26] It's this great transformative moment

[35:28] where we are greeted to flashbacks

[35:31] to scenes from earlier in the movie.

[35:33] Oh, just pow, pow, pow, pow.

[35:34] I forgot about that.

[35:35] Sidney Lumet, Pawnbroker,

[35:37] when the devil, what's the,

[35:40] Devil Knows You're Dead,

[35:41] what was that movie?

[35:42] Before the Devil Knows You're Dead.

[35:43] Before the Devil Knows You're Dead style

[35:44] where it's just like pop, pop,

[35:45] shots from the past, shots from the past.

[35:47] But it's like, they're all like these gauzy,

[35:50] Like, it's like a 19, early 90s, like, R&B music video.

[35:54] Well, because that's what the music is when it comes in.

[35:57] Then there's some kind of love song, right?

[35:59] Yeah, I mean, most of the music.

[36:00] The love song from No Deposit.

[36:02] The love theme from No Deposit.

[36:03] It sounds like the kind of love song you would hear in an 80s action movie that's clearly, like, kind of from the 50s or 60s.

[36:11] And you're like, I guess cool people listen to this when they're, like, about to hook up.

[36:14] But he's getting his head shaved and a tattoo put on his neck.

[36:17] Yeah, they call a tattoo artist in for some reason.

[36:20] to the bar yeah yeah uh that's got to be against health code i would have to assume so i mean

[36:25] there's blood coming out of his body in a place that people are ingesting drinks so paul servino

[36:29] he already lets people smoke in there he doesn't care about the rules well that's the thing he's

[36:33] gotta he's gotta keep his regulars happy yeah and so they instantly go he instantly goes from just

[36:40] a normal guy down on his luck to a skinhead who is robbing a bank with michael madsen and daniel

[36:44] Baldwin. That bank? Full of Jewish people.

[36:46] Yep. Very Jewish.

[36:47] Very clearly in the

[36:49] conference center of

[36:52] a large or to mid-size hotel.

[36:54] Ironically, this movie that was

[36:56] trying to make a stance against anti-Semitism

[36:58] was doing something anti-Semitic itself by

[37:00] taking up a ballroom that should have had a

[37:02] bar mitzvah in it.

[37:02] Some unlucky Toronto

[37:06] Jewish boy had to have his bar mitzvah

[37:08] at the synagogue because

[37:10] they couldn't rent the event

[37:12] space at the local hilton honors hotel i'm guessing yeah uh i'm very mixed up about what

[37:18] the movie's feelings about the jewish people are like because they because they're only shown in

[37:25] banks yeah i mean i think that we're supposed to not sympathize with the anti-semitic talk but at

[37:31] the same time it's not really refuted particularly strongly either well i feel like the movie doesn't

[37:37] really need to refute that i guess i don't think the movie needs to show a jewish person being

[37:41] great so that the audience is like oh daniel baldwin was wrong about that jews aren't evil

[37:47] our hero doesn't even turn around he's just like at the end of the movie he's just like i want to

[37:51] go home i i don't you know it's wrong to shoot people yeah it is wrong are you and you disagree

[37:56] with the message it's wrong to shoot people well i i don't think that it's particularly more wrong

[38:01] to shoot one type of person than another type of person all lives matter heard it here first

[38:06] Oh, wow, Dan.

[38:07] Jesus, dude.

[38:08] Oh, my God.

[38:09] Just rewind the tape.

[38:11] You know what?

[38:11] Delete it.

[38:12] You've shown your true colors.

[38:14] All right.

[38:15] So this is where the confluence of events leads us to the ultimate showdown,

[38:20] because Jimmy Valenti has shown up to the bank to pick up his $8 million.

[38:24] Or sign for it or something.

[38:26] Just to sign the papers, because apparently that's a thing you have to do now.

[38:28] Eric Roberts comes out from behind the desk.

[38:30] Happy as a clam.

[38:31] He is jittery as hell.

[38:32] He is walking like a man with one and a half legs.

[38:37] That was that CBS sitcom, right?

[38:40] One and a half legs?

[38:41] Yeah.

[38:42] But that's when our villains walk in, shoot a security guard in the head instantly.

[38:48] Yeah, immediately.

[38:49] And actually, what it looks like, a pretty decent use of special effects.

[38:53] Yeah, that was a pretty good special effect.

[38:54] And they also wrap a giant length of chain around the doors,

[38:59] which we later see uh does not prevent people from opening the door the door is open from the

[39:04] outside later the chain falls off armlessly it sloughs off like a snake skin now we didn't

[39:09] mention that there's also two policemen who i think are both named tony who are called are

[39:15] called in by for no particular reason called in by police chief peter coyote who tells them in his

[39:21] ken burns tones that he knows they've been working really hard he needs them to work another shift

[39:26] Even though they're owed a day off, they've been working on the Fox case for days, but the media is howling down his throat, and there's so much stuff going on in the city that he needs them to work two more days.

[39:37] This is in his office in the police station that, as Stuart mentioned, also has a business group of some kind sharing the office, and there's a poster in the hallway that seems to be either an ad or an employee of the month or something like that.

[39:48] And judging by their accents, these two detectives just recently transferred from Saskatchewan.

[39:53] Oh, everyone in the movie, except for the name stars, is very much Brooklyn by way of Canada.

[39:58] Yeah.

[39:59] They're like, what's the matter, eh?

[40:02] Yeah.

[40:03] I was walking a boot here.

[40:06] Anyway, but that's besides the point.

[40:09] So these guys take hostages at the bank.

[40:12] They especially don't like that the Jewish people are there.

[40:14] But then the anti-Semitic stuff kind of takes a back seat.

[40:17] It doesn't really appear that much.

[40:20] First, the criminals knock Eric Roberts out and kick him a bunch, and each time they hit him, they use Foley effects of, like, eggs breaking.

[40:28] It's the craziest thing I've seen in a real movie.

[40:31] It's like he's got empty, like, he took a bunch of eggs and pulled the yolk out without breaking the shell and then stuffed it all in his pants.

[40:40] So that each kick is like crunch, crunch.

[40:45] I mean, there was still, like, a little Jewish stuff, though, when, like, our hero, Frank D'Angelo, right?

[40:54] That's his name?

[40:55] Yeah, Jimmy Belanti, yeah.

[40:56] He gets shot by one of the guys when he's trying to defend a young girl.

[41:03] The granddaughter, I'm assuming, or possibly daughter, I don't know what kind of logic this movie is.

[41:09] Of Robert Loggia.

[41:10] Of Robert Loggia, who is playing a Holocaust survivor.

[41:13] but but mickey's like what he's not a jew like it's like it's like we're here to shoot jewish

[41:20] people that's right i forgot about that no so yeah they're rubber loja that's right he goes

[41:24] i've seen the devil you're nothing and he rolls up his sleeve he's got numbers tattooed on his

[41:29] arm he's a survivor now i don't know if it's better or worse that he does not attempt to do

[41:34] any sort of eastern european accent he's he's apparently a halt maybe he came over as a kid

[41:40] or a teenager

[41:41] and he worked really hard

[41:42] to get his accent away

[41:43] because he was so traumatized

[41:45] by his time in the camps

[41:46] but this

[41:47] I don't know

[41:47] he seems pretty

[41:48] comfortable with himself

[41:49] and

[41:50] kind of self-assured

[41:52] like I don't feel like

[41:53] he would try and

[41:54] hide anything

[41:55] I guess

[41:55] I mean there's

[41:56] I don't know

[41:56] there's no obfuscation

[41:57] with Robert Loge's performance

[41:58] I mean but the confidence

[41:58] may come from the fact

[41:59] that he's like

[42:00] I recreated myself

[42:01] in my life

[42:01] and I didn't let that tragedy

[42:02] define me

[42:03] because if I've learned

[42:04] anything from meeting

[42:05] Holocaust survivors

[42:06] it's that one

[42:08] the Holocaust was terrible

[42:09] and two

[42:09] So either – I mean there's – this is going to sound terrible.

[42:14] Really there's two types, those who never want to talk about it and those who want to talk about nothing else.

[42:17] And there's two – there are people who are shattered by it, and then there are survivors who kind of seem to take confidence in a way from it that, like, I survived the worst possible thing that could ever happen to a person, and that didn't destroy me so I can handle anything.

[42:33] And so, like, he's the second type, I guess, in that he's like, you know what?

[42:38] I'm not going to let this bank robbery get to me because I stared down Hitler.

[42:42] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[42:43] Michael Madsen and one of the Baldwins are not going to put me down.

[42:47] And they punch him, and he goes, you punch like a girl.

[42:50] And later he gets the best line in the movie.

[42:52] After everything's been taken care of, he goes, oh, so Frank D'Angelo gets shot.

[42:59] He recognizes that, hey, this is the guy I picked up off the sidewalk before.

[43:02] No, no.

[43:04] And the guy goes, hey, he helped me.

[43:06] I'm going to take him in another room.

[43:07] They have a little heart-to-heart.

[43:08] Frank D'Angelo says, I guess, the moral of the movie.

[43:10] It's nice to be great, but it's great to be nice.

[43:12] But that's the moment when the other bank robbers are like,

[43:14] oh, yeah, our possibly susceptible to coercion friend,

[43:18] we are able to turn to our cause in under a day.

[43:22] Yeah, let's let him go in the other room

[43:24] with that incredibly handsome and charismatic wounded man.

[43:27] I mean, the handsome part.

[43:29] Super tall and wealthy.

[43:31] But I also just wonder what they're doing out there.

[43:32] Just like, all right, well, you go in the back for a while.

[43:35] We'll just keep standing here with our guns.

[43:36] Especially because they don't seem to want money.

[43:38] But then by this point, the police are surrounding the bank.

[43:41] There's a massive crowd forming between the bank and the expansive tree line of downtown Brooklyn.

[43:47] Downtown Brooklyn really seems to have a lot of wooded highway access.

[43:53] It was interesting enough that it was in that crowd scene that I finally was like,

[43:57] oh, there's a non-white person in Brooklyn, apparently.

[44:00] Because the first people of color showed up.

[44:04] And meanwhile, we're getting a lot of news reports from, what was the guy's name?

[44:08] Frank Ambrosio, I think it was.

[44:10] Yeah, Frank Ambrosio.

[44:12] Ambrosio.

[44:13] It's Frank Ambrosio to his friends.

[44:17] Yeah, and his reporter on the scene, which his name I think was Fred Lepko.

[44:20] Matthew Lesko.

[44:23] And this is a movie where we see everything that's happening.

[44:26] We know the backstory of these characters.

[44:27] It cuts to a news break, and we watch for a while, for like three minutes,

[44:32] a reporter explained that he doesn't really know

[44:34] what's going on with the situation.

[44:35] And we don't even see the reporter's face.

[44:36] Which is realistic, but we don't need to see that in a movie.

[44:39] We're watching the anchor just listening to it,

[44:40] and it's like, did they want the audience to jump in

[44:43] and fill in the reporter on what's going on?

[44:45] Yeah, meanwhile, all of the people in Mickey's life

[44:50] are watching this tragedy unfold on television.

[44:53] His wife sees it at the fancy tea room

[44:55] where she's meeting her friend.

[44:56] Not Mickey's wife.

[44:57] Mickey's wife is at the circus with the giant baby.

[44:59] Mickey's wife is not interested.

[45:01] No, Frank's wife sees it, Mickey's mom sees it, Mickey's brother sees it,

[45:06] which finally gives him the strength to stand up to his wife in the best scene in the movie.

[45:11] Yeah, you said he delivers the best line.

[45:12] I've said it earlier, Marvelogia, the best line, I was wrong.

[45:15] Joe has the best line.

[45:16] His wife goes, your loser brother's robbing a bank.

[45:20] And she already said, like, gay, go get me some more fucking vodka if you can handle that, you loser.

[45:25] That's how she talks to him all the time.

[45:26] And he goes, what?

[45:28] My brother is in trouble robbing a bank, and Stuart, do you want to deliver his classic line?

[45:33] I think Dan wants to deliver it.

[45:34] Dan, I think.

[45:35] I don't know if I remember it exactly, but it was something like, I sold on my brother for pussy.

[45:39] And you're a cunt.

[45:41] That's floating what he says.

[45:44] After he fucking spikes the vodka bottle on the ground, she's like, hey, can you clean that up?

[45:49] Dan, you might want to do an explicit language, a special warning on this.

[45:53] Yeah.

[45:53] Because that word, the C word, is one I don't like to say.

[45:56] But it's hilarious.

[45:57] It escalates the movie suddenly to a, like, it goes from, like, 60 to 100, and you're

[46:03] like, wait, what did he just say?

[46:05] It would be terrible if some plucky listener took an audio clip of Dan saying that, I don't

[46:10] know, turned it into something, like a ringtone.

[46:12] Oh, boy.

[46:13] And so the next time we see Joe, he's talking to a policeman again in the police station

[46:19] slash hotel restaurant, and he's establishing what we already know, that his brother lost

[46:25] everything he lost his house and the cop is like wait he lost his house he lost his wife his his

[46:30] baby his house so they took his house away he lost his house his house he lost it they lost

[46:36] his house where he lives with his family it's like they spent the phrase he lost his house

[46:42] has spoken so many times but back to the bank robbery so to make a long story short so that

[46:47] but that art that conversation they're having that breakfast nook in that in that booth that

[46:51] they're sharing

[46:51] that's apparently

[46:52] the hot box

[46:53] in the police department.

[46:54] That scene

[46:57] clearly shows

[46:58] this detective

[46:59] sitting down

[46:59] with the brother

[47:00] and he's like,

[47:00] oh wow,

[47:01] your brother's a bad guy.

[47:02] And then by the end of it

[47:03] he's like,

[47:03] he lost his house?

[47:04] No,

[47:05] he's clearly a hero.

[47:06] Yeah.

[47:08] Yeah,

[47:09] he turns around.

[47:10] Meanwhile,

[47:10] and I think that same policeman

[47:11] is also supposed to be

[47:12] at the bank

[47:12] at the exact same time.

[47:13] Yeah, yeah.

[47:14] The SWAT team is there.

[47:15] They're next door to each other.

[47:16] The bank and the police station.

[47:18] Makes sense.

[47:18] You want to put the bank

[47:19] somewhere safe.

[47:19] And the tea room

[47:20] is next door to that.

[47:21] New York's really a small town.

[47:22] And Alfie's Bar is right next to it.

[47:24] That's a neighborhood story.

[47:26] Yeah, that's true.

[47:27] What neighborhood of Brooklyn was this, by the way?

[47:29] You're going to say Borough Park, aren't you?

[47:33] It's whoosh, doesn't exist.

[47:36] Dragon Wick.

[47:40] Yeah.

[47:41] So, to make a long story short about the heist,

[47:45] because the hostage situation is not actually that interesting,

[47:48] although it's pretty funny.

[47:49] But shooting happens.

[47:51] Mickey gets shot.

[47:53] Frank has already been shot through the shoulder.

[47:55] A guy who, it turns out, is-

[47:57] Frank D'Angelo playing Jimmy Villain.

[47:59] Oh, sorry.

[47:59] Jimmy is, yeah.

[48:00] It's so hard to tell them apart.

[48:01] He's already established his bona fides.

[48:03] Where one begins and one ends.

[48:05] His bona fides is a great man because Mickey says, hey, let him go.

[48:09] You can go.

[48:10] And he goes, I could go, but my balls wouldn't come along for the ride or something like that.

[48:14] He wouldn't be a man if he walked out of that situation.

[48:17] And so at the last moment, even though he's been shot in the shoulder, he uses that hand to pick up a gun and shoot the two robbers after they've already shot Mickey.

[48:27] Yeah, there's a plainclothes cop there that tries to intercede and Frank D'Angelo's character pulls him down so that he doesn't get shot and then kills both bank robbers.

[48:36] Now, not since the Taking a Pelham 123, my favorite movie, has there been a less effective undercover cop who just jumps out, I'm a cop, and then immediately gets either shot or pulled to the ground.

[48:46] Jimmy Valenti slash Frank D'Angelo is a saint, is a hero.

[48:50] Robert Loggia delivers what I thought was the first best line

[48:53] until I remember Joe's argument with his wife.

[48:55] The second best line in the movie, which is,

[48:57] bring a stretcher for this good man.

[49:00] Get garbage bags for these pieces of shit.

[49:03] And the hospital beds are wheeled out, and then...

[49:09] Everyone seems to have forgotten that Mickey was part of the hostage situation

[49:13] by this time, too, because they're like...

[49:15] That's how they pitch it, though.

[49:16] Like, they, like, say, literally, they're like, these two guys held us hostage.

[49:21] And I'm like, what do you mean, these two guys?

[49:23] There was a third man.

[49:24] There's a third man?

[49:27] Yeah, there's a third school right here.

[49:28] Another favorite of mine.

[49:29] Who knows?

[49:31] Because the more important thing is that these guys who both have been shot, they both need medical attention.

[49:36] Their instructors are allowed to sit right outside the entrance of the bank while every character they know rushes through the police line and has a moment with them.

[49:42] Yeah, they allow Paul Sorvino, his bartender, to come up and have a little bedside moment with him.

[49:50] And also, not his mom, but his mom's friend from the bingo parlor runs up to have a moment with him and tell him she loves him.

[49:55] Margot Kidder was in some bushes somewhere.

[49:57] She couldn't be bothered.

[49:58] Oh.

[49:58] Paul Sorvino sees the news story with those three guys robbing the bank.

[50:04] He was just kidding, Margot Kidder.

[50:05] Yeah.

[50:05] Oh, sorry.

[50:06] So Paul Sorvino sees this news story of these three guys having robbed the bank, and he goes,

[50:11] You can see that look on his face where he's like, oh, shit, they're my only customers.

[50:15] I've been a curry favor with the only guy left.

[50:18] With the only survivor.

[50:19] Otherwise, it's just me and Dominique Swain.

[50:21] I'm sorry, Dominique Swain.

[50:22] Yep, who's playing some weird song in the jukebox and dancing along.

[50:26] Now, also, this is all while Frank D'Angelo's cover of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah is playing.

[50:31] And a parade of Orthodox Jews walk out of the bank, I assume, thanking God that a man like Jimmy Valenti was created.

[50:40] And it's thanks to Watchmen that this is the second worst use of that song in a movie.

[50:44] And after that, that's pretty much it.

[50:50] There's no coda or anything.

[50:53] Oh, I remember what it was.

[50:56] Jimmy asks, he's being wheeled out, tells Eric Roberts that he's going to pay off Mickey's house.

[51:03] And it's just like, well, that's a nice gesture, but Mickey's clearly going to jail for a very long time.

[51:10] I mean, he suggested that he'll also pay for his legal fees.

[51:13] But that doesn't, that's not going to help the fact that, like, he still doesn't have a job.

[51:17] He still, I mean, is pretty easily convinced into doing bad things.

[51:23] Like, he has a neck tattoo now.

[51:24] Like, that doesn't go away.

[51:25] That's permanent, dude.

[51:26] I mean, you can get those removed.

[51:27] I assume Jimmy's going to pay that bill also.

[51:30] He's going to pay to get his neck tattoo removed?

[51:31] He's going to adopt him.

[51:32] Now he's his ward.

[51:34] At that point, he's just going to be, we already think that Jimmy has, like, a driver slash gopher

[51:38] who's obsessed with keeping Jimmy's car clean

[51:40] and when he goes up to him

[51:43] he says I apologize I didn't have a chance to clean the car

[51:45] I expected him to just pull out his

[51:46] sword and commit seppuku right there in front of him

[51:49] he is so apologetic because

[51:50] well and he is wearing a ponytail

[51:53] so you assume that he's way

[51:55] into Highlander the movie

[51:56] you have to assume like

[51:58] Jimmy Valenti is such a living saint

[52:00] people love him so much that when they fail him

[52:02] even in the slightest

[52:03] it hurts them more than it hurts him

[52:06] all their misdeeds are reflected upon them like the penance

[52:08] stare they yeah yeah like ghost rider uh so they they uh when he's told that he has to go sign for

[52:14] this loan and he goes to not loan this payment and he goes to his office they go oh yeah these

[52:20] new rules payroll should have dealt with it but they didn't he goes hey everyone makes mistakes

[52:25] don't yell at payroll about it don't make them feel bad we'll just send out a memo saying these

[52:29] are the rules now tell them about my charity so like that's he's just the sweetest boss in the

[52:34] world. And the moral of the story

[52:36] is that Frank D'Angelo, by extension, must be a

[52:38] great man. And the moral of the story is you should

[52:40] go out and watch this movie. Just watch it.

[52:41] If you want to watch this crazy passion project

[52:44] that is a love letter to himself.

[52:46] And the movie

[52:48] ends with a bunch of

[52:49] slow-mo, black and white

[52:51] shots of all the characters,

[52:54] all the big stars that we've seen in the movie.

[52:56] He may have gone out of his way to find the least

[52:58] flattering picture of almost all of them.

[52:59] Eric Roberts' is him

[53:01] crying with blood dripping out of his

[53:04] Yeah, crawling around on the floor, mourning the loss of his testicles.

[53:08] Whereas the picture of Frank D'Angelo in there is beatific almost.

[53:14] Like Peter Paul Rubens painted this shit.

[53:16] Yeah, so we should do our final judgments about this movie.

[53:21] Whether it's a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie we kind of like.

[53:25] Is there any doubt?

[53:25] Stu, I feel like you...

[53:27] This is a good, great movie.

[53:29] This is a movie where the financier of the movie, the writer, director, star, not only plays this awesome businessman, but he also, I think, gets approached while on a stretcher having been shot by the chief of police who basically is like, you want the key to the city and you can be chief of police if you want because you're the best shot I've ever seen.

[53:50] Yeah, it's great.

[53:52] And he acts like a gangster, dresses like a gangster.

[53:55] No, turns out he's the best of us.

[53:57] You start watching this movie and you're like, okay, this is pretty slow.

[54:00] And, you know, it takes a little bit of time before it starts cooking.

[54:03] Oh, boy.

[54:03] That's the first five minutes of info dump.

[54:06] That's something that we didn't mention is that the movie takes a really long time to set up everything before, like, the hostage situation.

[54:13] And the hostage situation, like, starts and isn't resolved in, like, half an hour.

[54:17] Oh, boy.

[54:18] When that pot gets boiling, yum, yum, yum.

[54:20] And this is an 80-minute movie, right?

[54:22] Yeah.

[54:22] That's the other thing we should mention.

[54:23] Go watch this movie.

[54:25] Block out now.

[54:27] 80 minutes i'm sure block out an hour and a half for it and then spend the last 10 minutes

[54:31] masturbating in joy that such a thing exists as this weird vanity project yeah no i i think this

[54:38] is a good bad movie the one thing that like helps me back a little bit is like the weird

[54:44] anti-semitism of the movie like it feels like an off note in the same way that like there are a lot

[54:48] of i feel like good bad or trashy movies out there that like throw in a rape scene and you're like

[54:54] why is this in here this ruined the movie but uh but for the most part it's not enough to like be

[54:59] like i find it's just another it's just another weirdo thread in the crazy quilt that is this film

[55:05] and it's okay i'm saying this i'm jewish it's okay for you to watch this oh wow yeah yeah

[55:10] i'm giving you up he's the gatekeeper here dan anyone who's not jewish i'm giving you official

[55:14] permission okay so no deposit uh you're looking at the dvd again to make sure that was the right

[55:23] name yeah it's not hard to remember because it has nothing to do with the soundtrack this name

[55:27] the soundtrack is a different look to the stars or something uh look into the stars look into the

[55:33] stars which is a good way to go blind yeah but it's also like if you look at the cover of the

[55:37] box it's just covered in stars mugs shirts stickers patches tanks and more are yours for

[55:47] the purchasing at max fun store.com hey you already love the podcasts so why not take this

[55:53] to the next level and outfit your home and bod with our merch max fun store.com because if you

[55:59] have to wear a shirt it should be one of ours uh next up we uh do a few have you seen this show

[56:10] before ads you think after okay you know i i didn't bring it up in august even though i should

[56:15] have but august marked the nine year anniversary of this stupid podcast yikes i wasn't here for

[56:22] all that time but i'm still gonna take credit for it you were there for most of it like eight

[56:27] and a half years some of it that's crazy uh you know that's a that's a popular anniversary to

[56:34] celebrate nine years yeah not we've been we should get each other anniversary gifts so that'd be nice

[56:38] we've been doing this podcast longer than either stewart or i have been married yeah we've been

[56:43] doing this podcast longer than dan at this point wait no that's not true it's not actually true

[56:50] uh we've been we will we will reach that point yeah yeah but it's longer than uh what barack

[56:58] obama's president that's true yeah it was a different nation when we started this people

[57:03] needed to laugh they needed to laugh that's a crazy amount of time to be doing what year was

[57:10] that 2007 was when a little movie called stealth graced my dvd player in my uh the bedroom in the

[57:19] apartment i shared with two other people and i stuffed a single rock band microphone

[57:24] in a homemade shock absorber that i made from putting some rubber bands oh that's weird because

[57:29] everyone has commented that those early episodes had amazing sound quality great so i revisit them

[57:35] so often yeah don't listen to the early episodes guys so many memories i'm such an asshole that's

[57:40] a long time this is the longest i've done almost anything uh except live okay now that i've juiced

[57:48] us up. What's the next stage of this

[57:50] game? Ads.

[57:52] Which is to say...

[57:54] We gotta pay the piper.

[57:54] Nine years don't come cheap.

[57:57] The Flophouse is supported by

[58:00] Squarespace, the simplest way to

[58:02] create a compelling website.

[58:03] From the strange to the downright bizarre, great

[58:06] stories define us. You should tell yours.

[58:08] With simple tools and templates,

[58:10] Squarespace helps you capture your

[58:12] store with a captivating website.

[58:14] Now, Dan, I got a question about

[58:16] Squarespace. Okay. I've got an

[58:18] idea for a website i kind of mentioned it earlier it's called www.teenagemutantninjaturtlets.org

[58:25] and it's these new crazy characters they're the toilets they're also teenagers who are mutants

[58:31] and they're ninjas and i want to i figured you know what don't bother with tv tv is broken

[58:38] thanks to uh you know people are cutting cords left and right yeah and they're streaming stuff

[58:42] they shouldn't cut those cords i mean like the cords aren't the problem you got to cut the cord

[58:46] Once the baby's born.

[58:47] You can't just leave it attached.

[58:49] Yeah, that's crazy.

[58:51] That's nuts.

[58:51] You want to wait until the last jolts of blood are pumped through that cord.

[58:55] Because that's the super strength blood.

[58:57] Then you cut the shit out of that thing.

[58:59] You put on that Freddy glove.

[59:01] And you go, it's a girl, bitch.

[59:05] Welcome to the world, bitch.

[59:06] I can say that as my kid.

[59:08] Actually, that makes it even worse.

[59:10] That's crazy.

[59:11] What's he doing?

[59:12] I'm just glad that Freddy settled down and started a family.

[59:15] although he is a child molester so that's not great a child murderer right don't they but that's

[59:20] why they burned his house down right yes you're right maybe he's just a child murderer you know

[59:24] what you're saying is i'm sorry freddy you're merely a child murderer i apologize uh but it's

[59:30] called and so anyway i want to just get on the web and start streaming these original animated web

[59:35] series about these ninja toilets can squarespace help me with that kind of site uh it certainly can

[59:39] and that's all i have to say about that will it make the site look the same on like a phone or

[59:45] We're on a desktop, we're on a laptop, we're on an iPad.

[59:47] It scales to different devices.

[59:49] Yeah, it's got what you call responsive design.

[59:53] That's great.

[59:54] And how do they support our show and support Squarespace?

[59:58] Well, you can start your free trial today by visiting squarespace.com slash flop.

[1:00:04] You should Squarespace.

[1:00:07] So you're saying you're going to hide,

[1:00:10] you're going to have like the bios of these Ninja Turlets available for anybody.

[1:00:15] But you're going to hide all the videos, the hot vids, behind a paywall, right?

[1:00:19] No, no, no, no, no, no.

[1:00:19] Because you don't want anybody to just see that shit.

[1:00:22] Information wants to be free, and there's no better information than toilets fighting crime with ninja weapons.

[1:00:27] So you're going to make money based on ads.

[1:00:28] It's going to be ad-supported and also internet equals cash dollar signs.

[1:00:33] Okay.

[1:00:33] I'll figure it out.

[1:00:34] I'll figure out how to monetize this idea.

[1:00:36] I mean, the money's just going to come flowing in, but most things.

[1:00:38] Yeah, and you'll take a big bag and write a dollar sign on it to catch all the money.

[1:00:41] So I know what's in it, yeah.

[1:00:42] Put it right next to your disk drive for when the money squirts out.

[1:00:45] The Flophouse is also supported in part by Mack Weldon, the clothing company.

[1:00:54] Angus Mack Weldon.

[1:00:55] Mack Weldon, I'll tell you what, it's better than whatever you're wearing right now.

[1:01:00] That's wrong, because I'm wearing Mack Weldon right now.

[1:01:02] Really?

[1:01:02] Yeah.

[1:01:03] This is to tell the truth.

[1:01:05] My Mack Weldon underpants, first in the rotation, right off the bat.

[1:01:09] Okay.

[1:01:10] Every time.

[1:01:10] I always go through them, and then I go through my lesser Hanes, or what have you, underpants.

[1:01:15] Now, they're comfortable.

[1:01:17] They're roomy.

[1:01:19] They're not too roomy.

[1:01:21] They're crewmy.

[1:01:21] They're crewmy, which is a word you just made up that I don't know what it means myself.

[1:01:24] Comfortable and roomy.

[1:01:25] Oh, I see.

[1:01:26] Yeah, that makes sense.

[1:01:27] They're super crewmy.

[1:01:28] Yeah.

[1:01:28] When you think Mack Weldon, think crewmy.

[1:01:30] Or the crewmy center.

[1:01:33] Yeah, that's a croissant.

[1:01:35] But they are super comfortable underpants.

[1:01:37] Mm-hmm.

[1:01:38] Yeah, and they make all your business look great.

[1:01:40] Yeah, what were you going to say, Dan?

[1:01:41] Well, Mack Weldon wants you to be comfortable,

[1:01:43] so if you don't like your first pair, you can keep it,

[1:01:46] and they will refund you, no question asked.

[1:01:49] No questions asked, even.

[1:01:51] One, multiple questions, et cetera.

[1:01:54] Just making it better each time.

[1:01:56] You know, as I have gotten older, guys,

[1:01:58] when I was a young man, I just put whatever I wanted on my undercarriage.

[1:02:02] But as I've gotten older, I've realized...

[1:02:04] Sometimes hot dog buns.

[1:02:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:02:06] I mean, in a pinch.

[1:02:08] It's what I call when I pinch my business with a hot dog bun.

[1:02:12] I don't want to know about that.

[1:02:13] But it's a thing.

[1:02:16] Look it up on the internet.

[1:02:17] But what I was saying is the, as I've gotten older,

[1:02:21] I don't mind spending a little bit extra bucks on the stuff that keeps my business

[1:02:26] that you can't see on my underpants.

[1:02:28] Look, you only get one.

[1:02:29] Unless you're Dan and you come over.

[1:02:30] You only get one.

[1:02:31] Take good care of it.

[1:02:33] My penis?

[1:02:34] Yes.

[1:02:35] Oh, okay.

[1:02:36] Unless you're that sideshow guy from the 20s who had three legs and two penises.

[1:02:39] I don't remember his name.

[1:02:41] He was Italian.

[1:02:42] Why do you make a face?

[1:02:44] Because I'm trying to remember, and I can't remember it.

[1:02:47] But Mack Weldon, it's good for working out.

[1:02:52] It's good for going to work.

[1:02:53] It's good for going out dates.

[1:02:54] It's good for everyday life.

[1:02:55] It's just good, guys.

[1:02:57] And if you go to MackWeldon.com, you can get 20% off using the promo code FLOP.

[1:03:04] Perfect.

[1:03:06] Go buy them.

[1:03:07] You will not be unsatisfied.

[1:03:09] Thank you for your support.

[1:03:11] And now we've got some Jumbotrons.

[1:03:15] Jumbotrons.

[1:03:18] Dan, punch that up.

[1:03:22] Okay.

[1:03:23] So I got the first.

[1:03:25] No, I think Elliot's going to go first.

[1:03:27] Oh, okay.

[1:03:28] I'll go first.

[1:03:28] This is a personal message.

[1:03:30] This is a message for Melissa Trujillo from Dylan Trujillo

[1:03:35] and parentheses her awesome little brother

[1:03:37] and says happy birthday

[1:03:39] I know you'll love the gift of the peaches

[1:03:41] saying happy birthday Melissa

[1:03:43] happy birthday Melissa

[1:03:45] happy birthday Melissa will Elliot sing a song

[1:03:48] maybe happy birthday

[1:03:50] to you

[1:03:51] I can sing it now cause it's in the

[1:03:53] public domain turns out

[1:03:55] Sony never actually owns the copyright

[1:03:58] they just stole money from

[1:03:59] a lot of people for decades

[1:04:01] to you will Dan sigh

[1:04:03] will stew crack a beer oh shit he just got a bottle of schweppes over there for once he

[1:04:10] doesn't have a beer uh you're the best and you're welcome for showing oh that didn't work uh and

[1:04:15] you're welcome for showing you this great podcast and oh and you're welcome for showing you this

[1:04:20] great and well i don't know anyway so in a way oh no it should be so you're welcome uh oh you know

[1:04:26] what oh boy this is falling apart dylan you gotta put some quotes in there some commas now i know

[1:04:30] it and you're welcome for showing you this great podcast so in a way i am also the best to the both

[1:04:36] of us seriously i love you and you're an amazing sister rah rah so happy birthday melissa that's

[1:04:43] so sweet from a from a brother to a sister you never you don't really see a lot of that uh kind

[1:04:48] of sibling commitment i often forget to tell my sister happy birthday and we share a birthday

[1:04:52] It is impossible for me to forget it.

[1:04:54] So up next on the old Jumbotron, we have what I can only assume is another personal message.

[1:05:04] This message is for Helen.

[1:05:07] The message is from Jason.

[1:05:09] And the message reads as follows.

[1:05:12] Sup.

[1:05:14] Okay, thanks.

[1:05:16] That was the message, huh?

[1:05:18] Yeah, yeah.

[1:05:19] So, Helen, if you're out there, Jason says

[1:05:21] sup.

[1:05:22] You'd like to tell someone sup

[1:05:27] over the Jumbotron? Yeah, jump over to

[1:05:29] MaximumFun.org

[1:05:30] Don't go to MaximumFun.org

[1:05:34] No, no, it's porn. Go to

[1:05:35] MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron

[1:05:37] It's somewhere in there.

[1:05:38] I believe so.

[1:05:39] I believe so.

[1:05:42] But now

[1:05:44] it's time for letters from listeners.

[1:05:47] You write them, we read them.

[1:05:49] Time.

[1:05:50] It's letter, time, letter, time.

[1:05:55] For listeners.

[1:05:56] Yeah, it's a great song.

[1:05:58] Not really a song.

[1:05:59] It was sort of a call and response sort of thing.

[1:06:03] It was a thing, yeah.

[1:06:03] It was a thing.

[1:06:04] That's the great thing about the word thing,

[1:06:06] is you can use it to describe stuff that doesn't really have a word.

[1:06:08] Yeah, as established earlier.

[1:06:10] Like, what are those things at the end of your shoelaces called?

[1:06:13] Who is that guy covered in rocks?

[1:06:15] They're called aglets.

[1:06:15] And thing is the guy.

[1:06:17] Oh, I see what you did, yeah.

[1:06:18] So this first letter is from first name withheld, Robert, last name withheld.

[1:06:25] That's the middle name.

[1:06:26] Who says...

[1:06:27] I assume that's James Robert Ryan Tolkien.

[1:06:30] As with most parents of preteen children, the Flophouse is our standard entertainment to listen to while shuttling the kids to their various basketball and baseball events.

[1:06:40] Not this one, I hope.

[1:06:41] That's terrible.

[1:06:44] The 13-year-old will last until the first sustained Elliot pun run,

[1:06:48] at which time the earphones are put on with an audible sigh.

[1:06:51] Kids hate me.

[1:06:52] She must be paying closer attention than I thought,

[1:06:55] as the other day I was watching a movie,

[1:06:57] and she asked me if it was a bad, bad movie, a good, bad movie,

[1:06:59] or a movie I kind of liked.

[1:07:00] Stewart, as the resident cinephile,

[1:07:03] how long until this becomes the new standard rating system for all movies?

[1:07:07] Dan?

[1:07:08] I give it another, what, we've been doing this nine years?

[1:07:11] Nine years.

[1:07:12] So one more year.

[1:07:12] 10 years is the rule.

[1:07:14] Yeah.

[1:07:15] You have to.

[1:07:17] Yeah, that's what they have to do.

[1:07:18] There's your grandfather in it.

[1:07:20] So call up the father of movies.

[1:07:22] Yeah.

[1:07:23] Thomas Edison?

[1:07:25] Yes.

[1:07:25] Call him up on the thing you invented.

[1:07:27] Oh, the 10-year grandfather you're talking about, Dan?

[1:07:30] Yeah.

[1:07:31] 10-year grandfather.

[1:07:33] That's terrible.

[1:07:34] Dan, my son would like to know when you're going to find the Jersey Devil.

[1:07:37] Look.

[1:07:38] Oh, that was a long time ago.

[1:07:40] yeah that's yeah i assume that's a reference to our ghost hunting video yeah that's not even a

[1:07:46] flop house thing yeah that was a video that we made for my old live show the primetime kalen

[1:07:50] if you look up ghost hunters uh dan mccoy elliot kalen you might come up with a few amusing

[1:07:59] very amateurish youtube videos very slapdash videos that were put together for a live show

[1:08:05] and so we're like let's not put a lot of work into them because they're going to be shown once

[1:08:09] and then that's it uh but uh yeah the search continues um elliot as the resident comic book

[1:08:18] expert what is your opinion on including real characters or other out of context references

[1:08:23] in your stories is there a difference between an easter egg and a reference slash cameo that

[1:08:27] breaks you out of the comic slash movie slash tv shows world yeah there is but it's one of those

[1:08:34] things like like obscenity i know it when i see it it's hard for me to define it's like uh there

[1:08:41] are times when things can get a little too winky and then it's like all right like i can't buy into

[1:08:47] the reality of this anymore that is i mean stan lee's cameos in his movies kind of become that

[1:08:52] as they get more baroque you know uh or if you're reading a comic book and there's clearly a scene

[1:09:00] where the creators of the comic are having a conversation.

[1:09:02] That can be fun for a panel.

[1:09:04] But if it's a whole page, forget about it.

[1:09:07] You're talking to somebody who wrote a series of one-page bits

[1:09:11] where it's just starring Wyatt, Sanak, and me.

[1:09:14] Co-wrote with Wyatt.

[1:09:16] Which have been republished in a book that's coming out from Marvel

[1:09:19] called Secret Wars 2.

[1:09:20] Oh, great.

[1:09:22] They reprinted a bunch of their humor books,

[1:09:24] and all my humor stuff is in there.

[1:09:25] Yeah.

[1:09:25] I didn't know it existed until they sent me one in the mail.

[1:09:29] I prefer it when, like, Dave Sim shows up in a Cerebus book

[1:09:33] and he teaches us some real-life lessons,

[1:09:35] like, da broads, am I right?

[1:09:37] This movie that we watched today had a real Dave Sim take on women.

[1:09:40] Yeah.

[1:09:41] And last question from this email.

[1:09:44] Housecat, why did you not have a character in the Adventures on Crossover?

[1:09:47] Was it a dispute about money, or are you just too serious for D&D?

[1:09:50] I'll have to ask him sometime.

[1:09:52] He doesn't have a lot of time for D&D.

[1:09:54] I wouldn't say it's too serious.

[1:09:56] He just doesn't really truck with that nerd shit.

[1:09:59] You know what I mean?

[1:09:59] He's a little too cool.

[1:10:00] Yeah.

[1:10:01] You know how some people are so cool that they can do nerdy stuff and still be cool?

[1:10:05] He's even cooler than that.

[1:10:06] He's the next step.

[1:10:07] Yeah.

[1:10:07] Yeah, it cycles back on itself.

[1:10:09] He's busy skateboarding, having one of the Frank D'Angelo energy drinks.

[1:10:16] That's what he drinks now, yeah.

[1:10:19] Hey, do you guys ever fantasize about if some kid is in a Home Alone situation

[1:10:25] and he's got to scare off burglars,

[1:10:26] that he's going to use audio files of your podcast clips

[1:10:30] to scare the burglars away?

[1:10:32] Not really.

[1:10:33] Okay.

[1:10:34] Like your filthy animal bit?

[1:10:36] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:10:36] Yeah, my classic Stuart Wellington filthy animal bit

[1:10:39] from the Flophouse podcast.

[1:10:40] No, I've never thought about that.

[1:10:45] So this is from Michael, last name withheld,

[1:10:49] who writes,

[1:10:50] Recently I was stricken with a nasty stomach bug

[1:10:53] to distract me from my nausea

[1:10:55] and to help cover up the sounds that come along with a nasty stomach bug,

[1:10:58] I downloaded a bunch of Flophouse episodes to comfort me

[1:11:01] as I pressed my face to the cold tile floor of the bathroom.

[1:11:04] For once in Earth's history, Elliot's singing actually soothed somebody.

[1:11:08] Oh, come on.

[1:11:09] Although Stuart's talk of wormy boners did not help my queasiness.

[1:11:13] And with every mournful sigh from Dan, I thought,

[1:11:15] what the fuck are you so sad about?

[1:11:17] I'm dying here, you bastard.

[1:11:18] Sorry, Dan.

[1:11:20] It was the virus talking.

[1:11:22] After a rough couple of days, I realized I was going to live

[1:11:25] and indeed managed to stand on the bathroom scale to assess the damage.

[1:11:29] I looked down to find that in two days I had managed to lose seven pounds.

[1:11:34] What?

[1:11:35] Oh, he strikes again.

[1:11:37] That's right.

[1:11:37] It was clear this was no random illness.

[1:11:39] No, I'd been poisoned by that dastardly supervillain.

[1:11:41] Had he been my Uber driver the night before?

[1:11:44] Had he slipped some coction into my food posing as a line cook?

[1:11:47] And why had he picked me?

[1:11:48] Actually, I'm pretty fucking awesome, so that part was understandable.

[1:11:52] Just be careful out there, fellas.

[1:11:53] Seven Pounds is back in town.

[1:11:55] Also, what movies do you like to watch when you're sick?

[1:11:58] My go-to has been, like, lately, it's been The World's End.

[1:12:05] Okay.

[1:12:06] It's one of those things I can just put on and, like, go to my happy place.

[1:12:11] And sometimes, lately, I'll also throw in The Guest.

[1:12:15] The Guest is a good one.

[1:12:17] Yeah, I would put that on my list.

[1:12:19] I mean, and likewise, any 80s John Carpenter, which is basically the same thing as the guest.

[1:12:27] Yep.

[1:12:27] I would watch when I'm sick.

[1:12:29] I don't get sick very much.

[1:12:31] My body just kind of rejects illness.

[1:12:34] But the first time I had a kidney stone was pretty bad.

[1:12:39] And I remember watching From Beyond for the first time.

[1:12:42] And I was like, around the point that Jeffrey Combs, as he's mutating because he's seen another dimension,

[1:12:49] sucks the eyeball out of another man's head, I was like, this movie gets where I'm at right now.

[1:12:54] And it really helped.

[1:12:55] I suffered a pretty bad arm injury.

[1:12:58] I broke my humerus after having recently broken my radius.

[1:13:02] And let me tell you, it was not humorous.

[1:13:04] You beat me to the fucking joke, you asshole.

[1:13:06] Hello, Dan.

[1:13:08] High five awaiting you.

[1:13:10] And so I was stuck on the couch for a while, and of course my mom went out and rented me some tapes from the local B-Buster.

[1:13:17] B-Buster?

[1:13:20] And she knows me because the top of that stack of tapes was Jeff Fahey's vehicle body parts.

[1:13:29] Nice.

[1:13:30] But a guy who gets in a horrible car accident, which is how I broke my arm, and gets a grafted arm of a serial killer on his body.

[1:13:39] And guess what?

[1:13:39] That arm wants to kill people.

[1:13:41] Muscle memory.

[1:13:43] Yeah.

[1:13:44] That's right.

[1:13:45] I'm good at one thing.

[1:13:47] Why won't they let me do it anymore?

[1:13:48] Murdering.

[1:13:49] So this is from Joe Last Name Withheld, who writes,

[1:13:55] The Flophouse is my favorite podcast.

[1:13:57] Dan and Elliot, I love you guys too, but this question is for my favorite flopper, Stu.

[1:14:01] Well, thanks for listening.

[1:14:02] Thanks, Joe Montana, 49ers former quarterback.

[1:14:05] Stu.

[1:14:07] I recently bought Netrunner on your recommendation from the We Are Your Friends app.

[1:14:12] Okay.

[1:14:13] However, neither of my roommates, my usual strategy game crew, will play with me.

[1:14:19] Weird.

[1:14:19] I was thinking of bringing it to my local board game night,

[1:14:22] but I don't want to be that guy that rolls into a game night,

[1:14:24] convinces someone to play with him, and then takes 20 minutes to figure out how ice works.

[1:14:29] Yep.

[1:14:29] How would you suggest I find someone who I can start playing my new game with?

[1:14:32] Thanks, Joe Last Name with L.

[1:14:34] Tinder, probably, right?

[1:14:35] Yeah, I think that's the best way if you're like, hey, you want to crack some fucking ice?

[1:14:39] I would say, I don't know exactly where you live, but I know in New York that if you go look for meetups for board games and you can look for meetups for the card game in question.

[1:14:53] You can also go on BoardGameGeek.com and look at the forums.

[1:14:57] Yeah, or go on, in this case, the producer of that game's community section

[1:15:04] and find meetups for that game that way.

[1:15:06] That's what I would suggest.

[1:15:08] Or come down to Hinterland's Bar, the bar I just opened,

[1:15:11] and I'll play you, dude.

[1:15:12] In Brooklyn, New York, he will.

[1:15:14] Set it up on the bar.

[1:15:15] We'll be talking about ice.

[1:15:17] Yeah.

[1:15:18] Both the beverage and the thing in the game.

[1:15:22] Beverage?

[1:15:23] Yeah, yeah, yeah, like an icy.

[1:15:25] I mean, like, you'd put ice in your drink, but I don't...

[1:15:29] I mean, I guess the health department calls it a food at this point.

[1:15:33] I mean, that seems weird, too, but it makes more sense to me.

[1:15:36] Yeah, that's why a bar counts as a restaurant for the health department.

[1:15:40] Just for the ice?

[1:15:40] Ice counts as food, yeah.

[1:15:41] Go on, Dan.

[1:15:43] That's a little insight into New York health department regulations.

[1:15:48] Also, take care of your regulars.

[1:15:50] Be a Paul Sorvino.

[1:15:52] give them a free drink when they lose their house yep or as you never know they might

[1:15:57] go into a bank and start shooting people up yeah yeah he's the seven pounds in this scenario

[1:16:03] uh this uh last one last letter i assume is mostly for elliot uh you never know

[1:16:12] dear elliot oh then probably oh it starts out with the word elliot so

[1:16:16] so when you read things you usually start in the middle and then just kind of like expand

[1:16:21] outward in concentric

[1:16:22] rings until you reach

[1:16:23] the beginning I saw

[1:16:25] the word well because

[1:16:26] it's a it was a hyper

[1:16:27] link when I printed it

[1:16:28] out I saw President

[1:16:30] Lincoln underlined so

[1:16:32] the eyes went to it

[1:16:33] because I find that's

[1:16:34] actually how I read

[1:16:35] menus a lot of the time

[1:16:36] and I have to force

[1:16:37] myself to go oh you

[1:16:39] like zoom in on a

[1:16:40] specific like if a word

[1:16:41] catches your eye you're

[1:16:42] like I don't know like

[1:16:44] almost always pork steak

[1:16:48] or chicken like it's

[1:16:49] And then you're like, oh, honey, they have chicken.

[1:16:52] Give me a second.

[1:16:52] I'm reading.

[1:16:53] And then I put my bookmark in the part of the menu I left off at.

[1:16:57] Take a nap, use the bathroom, come back.

[1:16:59] But I find I have to force myself to start at the beginning of the menu.

[1:17:03] The appetizers usually.

[1:17:04] And then there's a twist ending dessert.

[1:17:08] Oh, wow.

[1:17:10] It turns out the chocolate fondue did it.

[1:17:12] Spoiler alert.

[1:17:19] What's that cake doing upside down?

[1:17:22] We'll find out when we get there, honey.

[1:17:24] The molten chocolate cake burned him to death with its lava.

[1:17:30] Dan McCoy, dessert detective.

[1:17:33] Elliot, have you ever been to President Lincoln's cottage at the Soldier's Home in D.C.?

[1:17:38] It's one of the most fascinating and underrated tourist attractions in D.C.,

[1:17:42] far more interesting than Ford's Theater, a weird tourist scam hub.

[1:17:46] It's a modest house in Petworth, where Lincoln lived for much of his presidency.

[1:17:50] I'm familiar with the Soldier's Home.

[1:17:52] Commuting by horse to the White House.

[1:17:53] He wrote the Emancipation Proclamation there.

[1:17:56] And the tour gives a great overview of his personality and the personality of D.C. as a city.

[1:18:00] I bet the tour would give you even greater context for understanding the day-to-day life of Lincoln and the great pressures he faced.

[1:18:06] I'd also like to recommend this tour to anyone else listening.

[1:18:10] It's great, and I always encourage tourists to get off the mall

[1:18:13] and see D.C. as the great city it is.

[1:18:17] Oh, D.C., the Center for Disease Control?

[1:18:18] Yeah, at last name of health.

[1:18:19] I've actually never been.

[1:18:20] Encouraged is when you force people to watch the Entourage movie.

[1:18:23] But you don't force them.

[1:18:25] You just push it on them a little bit.

[1:18:28] Yeah, you invite them over for a party,

[1:18:30] and then you just put it on the TV player,

[1:18:32] and you're like, hey, just do what your body wants, guys.

[1:18:35] And then they turn it off because that's what their body wants.

[1:18:39] The body rejects it.

[1:18:40] I've actually never been to the soldier's home.

[1:18:41] I really wanted to go, and I haven't had a trip to D.C. in years when I've been able to go to it.

[1:18:47] I mean, we went to D.C. for a live show.

[1:18:50] For like a day.

[1:18:51] Yeah, and Elliot was like, take me to soldier's home.

[1:18:53] Take me to soldier's home.

[1:18:54] And we're like, no, we don't have time, Elliot.

[1:18:56] Maybe tomorrow.

[1:18:57] Elliot, you did all your green beans.

[1:18:59] We rubbed a little whiskey on his gums and put him to bed.

[1:19:03] Yeah, because I was fussy.

[1:19:06] I was just reading a book recently about Lincoln's relationship with John Hay, one of his private secretaries, later became Teddy Roosevelt's secretary of state, among other posts that he held.

[1:19:17] And it talked about these horse rides that they would do, the two of them, between the White House and the soldiers' home.

[1:19:22] And I was getting so envious for all this concentrated time that he got to spend with Abraham Lincoln just kind of like hanging out.

[1:19:30] And I would like to go see it actually for that reason.

[1:19:32] and at the time it was built, it was way off in the woods,

[1:19:36] and now it's just in D.C. because the city has expanded.

[1:19:38] But I'd like to go.

[1:19:40] Maybe you could convince Daniel Day-Lewis to go with you,

[1:19:43] and he would put on his Lincoln performance.

[1:19:45] Yeah, there's only a few steps that I'll have to go through to get to that point.

[1:19:49] Step one, find out how to contact Daniel Day-Lewis.

[1:19:55] I mean, if he's not available, just get Daniel Night-Lewis.

[1:19:58] Oh, boy.

[1:19:59] Thanks, guys. I've been great tonight.

[1:20:02] Is that M. Night Shyamalan's middle name, brother?

[1:20:04] M. Day Shyamalan.

[1:20:06] M. Day Shyamalan has no twist endings in his films.

[1:20:11] You see what you get, says M. Day Shyamalan.

[1:20:14] Hey, now's the time for the last segment on the show.

[1:20:21] Okay.

[1:20:22] I don't know if I have the energy.

[1:20:23] Yeah, sure I do.

[1:20:24] Which is when we recommend movies that we actually liked,

[1:20:28] although we enjoyed No Reservation.

[1:20:32] Yeah, Parts Unknown was...

[1:20:36] This is a movie that you'd watch as a double feature with No Deposit.

[1:20:41] So what are you guys going to recommend?

[1:20:44] I have my recommendation.

[1:20:45] Okay, so I'll go first, I guess.

[1:20:48] That gave me no pressure, but I've got one.

[1:20:49] I'm going to recommend a movie that probably doesn't need me to champion for it.

[1:20:53] This is a movie that was, I guess, a big release when I was a kid,

[1:20:58] I saw it in the theater

[1:20:59] It stars Elliot's pal

[1:21:02] Sly Stallone

[1:21:03] It's a movie called Demolition Man

[1:21:06] So if you're looking for

[1:21:08] A big

[1:21:09] Dan had to look at his face like you bastard

[1:21:11] Are you going to re-recommend Demolition Man?

[1:21:14] Why today

[1:21:17] Of all days

[1:21:19] Why

[1:21:20] Why in 2016

[1:21:23] Dan stares into my eyes

[1:21:27] and hoping to find some kind of understanding there,

[1:21:30] but he sees nothing.

[1:21:31] Not but emptiness.

[1:21:33] Grizzlies, too.

[1:21:33] So, yeah, no, Demolition Man is a movie

[1:21:38] where the greatest sweeps tell us what it is.

[1:21:42] This little-known indie hit, indie film.

[1:21:47] Was it even a hit when it came out?

[1:21:49] I don't know.

[1:21:50] It was a minor success, I believe.

[1:21:52] Oh, the minors liked it.

[1:21:54] Played real well in Harlan County, Kentucky.

[1:21:57] Well, they don't really have much else to watch down in the mines.

[1:21:59] Just projected on the bare rock.

[1:22:00] The strong whose side are you on platform that Sylvester Stallone stands for.

[1:22:04] Okay, so Demolition Man is about the greatest cop in the universe

[1:22:10] fighting an evil drug dealer,

[1:22:11] and they both end up getting charged with a crime and frozen,

[1:22:16] and then they wake up far in the future,

[1:22:18] and they get into all kinds of wacky adventures,

[1:22:20] and the villain in this case is played by Wesley Snipes,

[1:22:24] and this is genuinely a great, over-the-top, cartoony performance

[1:22:29] that would have not been out of place in any of the Tim Burton Batman movies.

[1:22:34] It's great.

[1:22:35] It's almost worth watching just on that energy alone,

[1:22:39] and it's the sort of thing, it's the sort of performance where you're like,

[1:22:42] kind of surprised that Wesley Snipes isn't a bigger star

[1:22:45] because he is so much fun to watch in this movie.

[1:22:48] I mean, he was a, he has been a huge star.

[1:22:50] He's gone through his ups and downs.

[1:22:52] I mean, he's fallen on hard times, I suppose.

[1:22:53] I mean, not paying your taxes for many years

[1:22:56] and then having to pay them all at once will do that to you.

[1:22:58] Yeah, I suppose.

[1:22:58] So if you get a chance, if you haven't already seen it,

[1:23:02] you should go check it out.

[1:23:03] It's a great example of a good, bad movie.

[1:23:05] And you can finally find out

[1:23:08] what the three seashells of the bathroom are all about.

[1:23:11] You don't know how to use those?

[1:23:12] Ha, ha, ha, ha.

[1:23:13] It also has perhaps the most gratuitous piece of nudity

[1:23:17] in any film ever.

[1:23:18] Sylvester Stallone just gets a wrong video phone call

[1:23:22] from a nude lady and that's the entirety of it she goes oh i'm sorry i thought you were someone else

[1:23:27] and now that we have video phone calls you know that shit happens all the time constantly people

[1:23:32] are constantly misdialing their video phone numbers okay so dan now that you can't recommend

[1:23:37] demolition man damn you uh i'm gonna write i'm gonna take a page from elliott's playbook i'm

[1:23:45] gonna recommend a movie from 1935 just don't take a page from my playboy what if it's one of those

[1:23:51] like terrible joke pages you can take those those are pretty bad um or if it's an article about

[1:23:56] travel yeah or some norman mailer mailer article or norman mailer i'm not familiar with his work

[1:24:03] either but he's french norman mailer plus manure um so uh 1935 the version of a midsummer night's

[1:24:14] stream that was done uh and it had olivia de havilland as titania it had jimmy cagney as

[1:24:23] bottom it had dick powell as lysander i believe i think so and joey brown is another joey brown

[1:24:30] is snug mechanical joiner um it's uh it's it's the it was the film version of the like

[1:24:37] what max reinhardt production i believe that's correct uh and it's uh to my taste i know elliot

[1:24:46] and i talked about this and we had minor disagreement to my taste there's a little too

[1:24:50] much uh gauzy photography of fairies running around which i think is the biggest strong

[1:24:56] point of the movie that's a movie i really like a lot and the thing i like the most about it

[1:25:00] is the like 30s gauzy photographed choreography where there's just like nymphs running around a

[1:25:07] forest with like a lot of glitter everywhere uh it happens a lot i like that i like that

[1:25:13] if you like that then you'll love uh the 35 midsummer night's dream like jim james cagney's

[1:25:19] really good in it joey brown is really funny yeah the the rude mechanicals stuff is very funny

[1:25:24] uh i think it's probably the strongest stuff in the movie it's an interesting movie to watch

[1:25:28] i'm a i'm a big fan of the play it's interesting movie to watch to see how much they cut down the

[1:25:35] play like even though the movie's like over two and two hours long it's like 2 15 or something

[1:25:40] like that for all those fairies running around yeah there's whole like wide swaths of dialogue

[1:25:45] that's just replaced by like people making various faces at each other uh the only thing i really

[1:25:51] don't like in that movie is mickey rooney's performance mickey rooney is terrible he's just

[1:25:56] very irritating he's so irritating i mean mickey rooney can go broad you know a lot of the time but

[1:26:06] this is him as a child and he like has this like weird like i'm an old man but a child

[1:26:13] quality about him and he does this laugh like every other line that just like goes like

[1:26:18] This horrible braying thing.

[1:26:22] But, aside from that, I think that's a good movie.

[1:26:26] I think that's still the best film version of that play that I've seen.

[1:26:31] I think that that's probably true.

[1:26:33] But that also...

[1:26:34] It's damningly very faint praise.

[1:26:36] I have seen better stage productions of it.

[1:26:41] Sure you have.

[1:26:42] Two have come to mind.

[1:26:44] If you're a fan of...

[1:26:45] One in Stratford itself.

[1:26:46] Oh, wow.

[1:26:48] They were treading the boards.

[1:26:51] I guess.

[1:26:52] If you're a fan of Midsommar's at all, you should watch the movie.

[1:26:56] That's what I want to recommend.

[1:26:57] And then just go watch A Midsommar Night's Sex Comedy,

[1:26:59] a really good movie with a terrible title.

[1:27:01] Sure.

[1:27:02] And I'm going to recommend a movie.

[1:27:05] I'm going to take a page from the Elliot Kalin playbook

[1:27:08] and recommend an old movie that's also a foreign film.

[1:27:10] And I'm going to recommend, you know what?

[1:27:13] Frank D'Angelo just wanted to make movies,

[1:27:16] and it's not like he had training in it.

[1:27:18] at all. He just decided he had a story to tell

[1:27:20] and he decided to tell it. And this movie was

[1:27:22] made in similar fashion by a little man

[1:27:24] named Satyajit Ray

[1:27:26] from India. And this is his first film,

[1:27:28] Pather Panchali, which I've been putting off

[1:27:30] watching for years because

[1:27:33] even though I love old

[1:27:34] movies and I love old foreign movies and I love foreign movies,

[1:27:36] I still every now and then get that feeling

[1:27:38] of like,

[1:27:39] this is going to be not as

[1:27:42] enjoyable as it is good for me.

[1:27:44] But Pather Panchali is a genuinely

[1:27:46] beautiful, entertaining movie.

[1:27:48] and it's really heartbreaking really good it's from the 50s and it's a film about

[1:27:55] rural indian poverty but about one family a husband and wife the husband has dreams of

[1:28:01] being a writer but he's just kind of not supporting his family the wife is the one

[1:28:05] the pressure falls on and they have two kids uh an older daughter and a younger son and there's

[1:28:11] a certain amount of slice of lifeness to it but there's a lot of tight plotting in it also and i

[1:28:18] like don't want to like talk it's like to describe the plot is not to describe what's interesting

[1:28:22] about it but it's like a beautiful looking film and the emotions in it are really strong and the

[1:28:27] performances are really great and it's one of those movies where you're like this was his the

[1:28:31] director's first movie a number of the actors in it were not professional actors at the time like

[1:28:36] that's crazy this is such a good movie so i highly recommend it pay through panchali

[1:28:41] yeah okay three equally good movies that's right yeah yep one one was is is one of the hallmarks

[1:28:48] of indian cinema and then you've got uh kind of golden age hollywood adapting the greatest writer

[1:28:53] whoever existed and then you got demolition man the first rated r i assume would be a sylvester

[1:29:00] sloan rob schneider double feature with judge dread yeah yeah also a futuristic uh adventure

[1:29:06] If only Dennis Leary had also been in Judge Dredd.

[1:29:08] The Three Musketeers, they called them.

[1:29:11] Because they loved the candy bar of the same name.

[1:29:15] Hey, Rob, hand me another candy bar.

[1:29:20] Make it a Three Musketeer.

[1:29:22] Hey, guys, heard you were talking about Demolition Man, so I had to stop by.

[1:29:26] But the episode's running a little long, so I just realized I started a bit.

[1:29:29] That's not a good idea, so I think I'm probably going to get going.

[1:29:32] Goodbye, questions about your character John Spartan.

[1:29:35] Don't really remember it too much?

[1:29:37] What was the name of Wesley Snipes' character?

[1:29:39] Jimmy Phoenix?

[1:29:40] I knew it was Phoenix or something.

[1:29:41] Anyway, go see whatever movie I have in theaters right now.

[1:29:45] Is there something out?

[1:29:46] I don't know.

[1:29:46] I don't think so.

[1:29:47] Well, get Creed on DVD.

[1:29:49] Oh, sure.

[1:29:50] People loved it.

[1:29:51] And I'm sure I'll be back at some point.

[1:29:54] All right.

[1:29:55] Well, it's always good to see you.

[1:29:57] The door's always open.

[1:29:57] What's new with you guys?

[1:29:58] What, Stuart, you just opened your new bar?

[1:30:01] Yeah, it's been really successful.

[1:30:02] We carry bullet bourbon.

[1:30:05] Oh, like my movie bullet to the head.

[1:30:07] Yeah, Dan, you've got a lot of good things going on.

[1:30:09] No, that's not true at all.

[1:30:10] Okay, gotta go.

[1:30:12] Well, you know, even old Sly knows when he's put his foot in the old mouth.

[1:30:16] So I'm just gonna go, okay?

[1:30:18] He always has his jetpack with him.

[1:30:22] I hope Elliot comes back soon.

[1:30:23] He's gonna be so mad he missed Sly again.

[1:30:25] I'm back, guys.

[1:30:26] I didn't miss anything, right?

[1:30:27] I just went to get some more Cheetos.

[1:30:29] We didn't miss anything at all.

[1:30:30] So I just want to thank everybody who came out to the MaxFun meetup.

[1:30:35] There was a lot of folks that I hadn't met before, and that was really great to meet so many nice, cool folks who came out to the meetup, what, a week ago at the bar I just opened.

[1:30:43] It was really humbling to just meet all these really nice people and get that kind of support.

[1:30:48] And Dan had a great time, too.

[1:30:51] Yeah, I was also there.

[1:30:53] I missed it, but I regretted missing it.

[1:30:56] Hopefully we'll get to do more of those things.

[1:30:58] It's super fun.

[1:31:00] And if you didn't come out because you were worried that you wouldn't know anybody, you should come out and come and talk to me because at a lot of those things, I mainly spend the time standing around wondering who I can talk to.

[1:31:12] Feel free to just walk up to Stuart and tell him you don't listen to The Flophouse.

[1:31:15] Yeah, please do that.

[1:31:17] People feel fine doing that apparently.

[1:31:19] In between meetups, you can also check out The Flophouse on YouTube.

[1:31:23] Just check out Flophouse Podcast.

[1:31:25] There's a lot of really great stuff.

[1:31:27] Specifically, there's some really great stuff that's made for that podcast, for our podcast, for that YouTube channel by by Tony Ochre, which are great animated adaptations, including a recent one featuring featuring a guy named Sylvester Stallone.

[1:31:43] Oh, man, I hope I'm here the next time he stops by.

[1:31:45] I always miss him.

[1:31:46] Dan and I look at each other awkwardly.

[1:31:49] And if you're looking for any Christmas presents or whatever, man, just because presents,

[1:31:57] don't forget that we got merch available at the Max Funds store,

[1:32:01] including a really awesome poster by the artist Tom Fowler,

[1:32:05] where all of our proceeds for it go directly to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

[1:32:10] A great cause.

[1:32:11] Okay.

[1:32:11] Thanks, Stu, for that housework.

[1:32:15] This episode was so packed full of experiences.

[1:32:17] We watched a really crazy, funny movie

[1:32:20] We celebrated nine years together

[1:32:22] We talked about the Holocaust

[1:32:24] We talked about the Holocaust a fair amount

[1:32:26] And recommended some movies

[1:32:28] Had some laughs

[1:32:29] Said hello to some people

[1:32:30] Said sup to one person in particular

[1:32:32] Helen

[1:32:34] Sup, Helen

[1:32:36] The taking of Helen, one, two, three

[1:32:38] Well, I hope that Helen has a good time

[1:32:41] I hope that you've all had a good time

[1:32:43] But all good times

[1:32:45] Gotta come to an end

[1:32:46] And we're dying

[1:32:48] So as we put ourselves

[1:32:51] Into a grave

[1:32:52] Into an eternal sleep

[1:32:54] We sign off

[1:32:57] Saying I've been Dan McCoy

[1:32:59] And this guy's been Stuart Wellington

[1:33:01] And over here

[1:33:03] Still tiny Elliot Kalin

[1:33:04] Good night everyone

[1:33:06] Smallvember

[1:33:07] So this is just like Godzilla

[1:33:13] It's a real New York movie

[1:33:15] how are my levels

[1:33:18] leveling up

[1:33:20] how are my levels

[1:33:22] this is how I'm gonna talk

[1:33:24] the whole time

[1:33:26] like that just like this

[1:33:28] I'm gonna talk like this

[1:33:29] and now this I'm gonna talk

[1:33:32] like this sometimes too

[1:33:33] I will talk like this like a robot

[1:33:36] the whole episode

[1:33:37] it won't get annoying I promise

[1:33:39] alright

[1:33:42] I guess you gotta do the hand motions

[1:33:44] I'm doing them even though they cannot hear for realism.

[1:33:47] You can hear the confidence of the hand motions in the voice.

[1:33:51] It helps my performance posture.

[1:33:54] That was the directing you gave during MST3K, right?

[1:33:59] I said, hey, move like a robot while you're saying those things.

[1:34:03] Move like a robot.

[1:34:07] Let's squirt to the tune of Smooth Operator.

[1:34:14] boom operator boom operator that's the that's the farthest i've ever gotten with that parody

[1:34:22] i've been thinking about it for a while yeah that's pretty good

[1:34:24] maximumfund.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported

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