Ep. #401 - Book Club: The Next Chapter

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Book Club, the next chapter.

[0:05] Phase three of the Jane Fonda and her elderly friends cinematic universe.

Dan McCoy

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse.

[0:34] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:35] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:37] And I'm Elliot Kalin, and I'm super excited about Flop TV,

[0:40] our upcoming run of monthly live streaming shows.

[0:42] Tickets available at theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[0:46] More information about that later in the show.

[0:48] But, Dan, do what you're doing. It's cute.

[0:49] Just do your adorable thing.

[0:51] Cute?

Dan McCoy

[0:52] I'm sorry.

[0:54] Also, someone bought us flophouselive.com, if that's easier to remember.

[0:59] Hey, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie,

[1:04] or one that maybe didn't set the critical world ablaze.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09] Dan, the one we watched today was bad.

[1:11] There's no need to qualify it ahead of time.

[1:13] Spoiler alert.

Dan McCoy

[1:14] I want to make sure that people understand.

[1:17] This is the thing.

[1:18] No matter how many times I tell people,

[1:20] no matter how many times you get out of there,

[1:22] maybe by this time, they're trolling me.

[1:25] I say, it doesn't have to be a financial flop.

[1:27] They're like, but this movie made money.

[1:29] I'm like, it doesn't matter.

[1:31] It's like what the reaction was to it.

[1:33] That's the main way we choose.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35] And these are like real people,

Dan McCoy

[1:37] not just like strong men you're battling with.

[1:38] Well, I mean, they're on Twitter,

Elliott Kalan

[1:39] so I don't know how real they are.

[1:40] I think they're the voices in your head

[1:42] as you take a shower

[1:43] and you have nothing else to distract you.

[1:44] Because I would say,

[1:45] looking at the numbers,

[1:46] this movie I don't think made money.

Dan McCoy

[1:49] Well, probably not once.

[1:50] Once you factor in marketing.

[1:51] No, it did make money above its budget,

[1:56] but yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:57] We could just say that this is a podcast

[1:58] where we watch a movie.

[2:00] Yeah, you could just do that.

[2:01] Well, that seems a little less.

Elliott Kalan

[2:03] It just seems strange that we've been doing this podcast.

Stuart Wellington

[2:05] Dan wants to open it up

[2:06] so that he can watch TV shows sometime.

Elliott Kalan

[2:09] We've done this podcast for over 400 episodes now.

[2:11] Congratulations, guys.

[2:13] Oh, thank you.

[2:13] How is it that as we go on,

[2:15] the way we describe it gets longer?

[2:17] Let's hash this out on air.

[2:18] We should be refining it over time.

Dan McCoy

[2:21] It's important.

[2:21] Yeah, this came out at the same time as,

[2:24] what was it,

[2:24] like a couple of big movies,

[2:25] Guardians 3 and something else.

[2:28] Like this was real counter-programming.

Elliott Kalan

[2:31] Something else has got to give.

[2:33] Oh, Super Mario.

[2:34] Yeah, and it is smart to release this

[2:36] at the same time as this.

[2:37] Although when I saw Super Mario with my sons,

[2:39] they played the trailer for this beforehand

[2:41] and I thought it was an interesting choice.

[2:43] But then they played the trailer for every movie

[2:45] before this.

[2:47] Sammy went nuts when he saw Diane Keaton.

[2:49] He said, I'm so glad she's making movies.

[2:52] I'm so glad she's making movies.

[2:53] I loved her in Something's Gotta Give.

[2:54] And I was like, what?

[2:56] That's the one?

Stuart Wellington

[2:57] Sammy.

[2:57] Like I love how she dresses like a cool Urkel

[3:01] with a hat all the time.

[3:04] She's amazing.

[3:05] I love her.

[3:05] I don't know that Urkel wore a lot of cardigans

Dan McCoy

[3:08] and like turtlenecks.

Elliott Kalan

[3:10] It's like her pants are so high

[3:12] like cool Urkel with a hat.

[3:15] What you mean is Urkel with a hat

[3:16] because cool is kind of self-explanatory.

Stuart Wellington

[3:19] Her pants are super high

[3:20] and her shirts are buttoned all the way up to the top

[3:25] and she's always wearing long sleeves.

Dan McCoy

[3:26] High pants are back in,

[3:28] buttoning your shirt to the top.

[3:30] I don't know if it's still in.

[3:31] I noticed it was back in a while ago

[3:34] and I'm like, really?

[3:35] We're doing this now?

[3:36] That's so uncomfortable.

[3:37] Why not?

Elliott Kalan

[3:37] Why not?

[3:38] It's just the way.

[3:39] But I will say,

[3:40] there's a scene later in the movie we'll get to

[3:41] where Diane Keaton,

[3:43] there's a dress with like spot,

[3:44] it's like a white dress with black spots on it

[3:46] and they're like,

[3:47] it's like you as a dress.

[3:48] And I was like,

[3:49] movie, I'll give you credit.

[3:50] You did it.

[3:51] That is Diane Keaton as a dress.

[3:52] Yeah, it's perfect.

[3:53] Yeah, yeah.

[3:53] I love it.

[3:54] It was a perfect dress for her.

Stuart Wellington

[3:56] And the other day I went shopping

[3:58] and I bought some high-waisted trousers

[4:00] and Charlene called me daddy-o

[4:02] and I'm like,

[4:03] that's not dissuading me from buying these.

Dan McCoy

[4:05] Yeah, I can't believe we're starting off

[4:06] by criticizing Diane Keaton's sartorial choices.

[4:10] A woman who has a very distinct-

[4:11] I love it.

[4:12] Style that, okay,

[4:13] I just want to clarify.

[4:14] And it works perfectly for her.

Elliott Kalan

[4:16] It's a great style for her.

[4:17] I think we're all a fan.

[4:18] I mean, look,

[4:19] I'm going to get one thing straight off here.

[4:20] I'm a fan of all the ladies in this movie

[4:22] and some of the men.

[4:23] Diane Keaton is by far my favorite of them.

[4:26] I've loved her in movies since I was young.

[4:28] She's amazing.

[4:29] I find her to be like

[4:30] such a unique personality in film

[4:32] in a way that she is somehow

[4:34] both-

[4:34] She's somehow like a brilliant ditz,

[4:37] you know,

[4:38] that's always been like-

[4:39] But she can do other things.

[4:41] But when she is more herself in the movies,

[4:43] that's how it comes off.

[4:44] But there's not that much going on in this movie.

[4:47] So if we got to talk about something,

[4:48] I guess we'll talk about Diane Keaton's clothes,

[4:50] which is too bad because she does dress great.

[4:52] Her style is fantastic, you know.

Dan McCoy

[4:54] I-

[4:55] There was-

[4:55] I couldn't find actual,

[4:57] like,

[4:58] backup for the,

[4:59] you know,

[5:01] a letterboxd review

[5:02] that claimed that this movie existed

[5:03] because,

[5:04] uh,

[5:04] what's her face?

[5:06] Candice Bergen.

[5:06] Candice Bergen wanted to take-

[5:07] Candy Bergen.

[5:08] A trip with these ladies to Italy.

[5:11] And that's why she pitched it.

[5:13] I couldn't find,

[5:13] uh,

[5:14] any confirmation,

[5:16] but we-

[5:16] Did you try texting Candice Bergen?

[5:18] Oh,

[5:18] I should have tried-

[5:19] Yeah,

[5:19] did you ask Candy about it?

Elliott Kalan

[5:20] I do like-

Dan McCoy

[5:21] Talking to my friend Candy.

[5:23] Something that-

Stuart Wellington

[5:23] Hold on,

[5:23] let me finish this thought.

[5:25] Okay,

[5:25] sorry.

Dan McCoy

[5:27] Uh,

[5:27] no,

[5:27] I just,

[5:28] as much as we may have,

[5:31] like,

[5:32] called the original book club thin,

[5:34] and we have said over the years that

[5:36] this is the least movie,

[5:37] something could be,

[5:38] and be a movie,

[5:39] like,

[5:39] this movie is-

[5:40] This is really-

Elliott Kalan

[5:41] It's really tissue thin.

[5:43] It makes 80 for Brady look like a richly textured epic.

[5:47] I will say,

[5:48] Dan,

[5:48] some backup for that Candice Bergen theory is that,

[5:51] on the Wikipedia entry,

[5:52] under possible sequel,

[5:53] it says,

[5:54] Bergen said a possible third film could take place at Burning Man,

[5:57] or,

[5:57] quote,

[5:58] Hong Kong just because.

[6:00] I think she really is just pitching-

[6:02] Because I've never been there.

[6:03] Yeah,

[6:03] she's just pitching places she wants to go.

[6:05] Yeah,

[6:05] I'm into it.

[6:06] So Candice Bergen is the Adam Sandler of older female actors,

[6:10] where it's just like,

[6:10] where am I taking a vacation?

[6:12] Okay,

[6:12] my friends will come,

[6:13] we'll make a movie.

Stuart Wellington

[6:14] Well,

[6:14] and this movie begins with our heroes in quarantine,

[6:19] and we did the first book club movie right at the start of quarantine, right?

Elliott Kalan

[6:25] Yeah,

[6:25] that's probably where they got the idea.

Stuart Wellington

[6:27] Yeah,

[6:27] I can't remember how time we're doing.

[6:28] I feel like we did it,

[6:29] for some reason,

[6:30] I feel like it was the first movie we did entirely remotely,

[6:33] when I was like,

[6:34] actually had COVID,

[6:36] and was like,

[6:37] I'm gonna die.

[6:38] At least I'll die doing what I love,

Elliott Kalan

[6:40] talking about book club.

[6:41] Yeah,

[6:41] yeah,

[6:42] yeah.

Dan McCoy

[6:43] Maybe that's why book club,

[6:45] the original,

[6:46] I remember affecting me emotionally.

[6:49] Maybe I had a lot of COVID shit going on.

Elliott Kalan

[6:52] I think there's gonna be a time when flop historians look back at this period,

[6:56] and they're like,

[6:56] Dan was very emotional for a couple years when he watched the movies.

[6:59] Oh,

[7:00] that's because everyone was going through the apocalypse.

[7:02] That's why.

Stuart Wellington

[7:02] Normally,

[7:03] Dan was known as Stoneheart McCoy,

[7:06] because,

[7:06] because he was a walking resident.

[7:09] Glomgold,

Elliott Kalan

[7:10] they called him.

[7:12] After the duck of the same name.

[7:14] Cold as the tomb.

[7:15] Cold as a ghost's hand on your shoulder,

[7:18] while you're taking a shower in a haunted bathroom.

[7:22] It's especially cold,

[7:23] because you're not wearing a shirt.

[7:25] So,

[7:25] guys,

[7:25] should we talk about what happens in book club,

[7:27] the next chapter?

[7:28] And the title does open it up for more chapters.

[7:30] This is the next chapter.

[7:31] Yeah,

[7:31] it doesn't say final chapter like I missed out.

[7:33] It's so funny if the final chapter is that it somehow,

[7:36] it ends with them on the lip of a volcano as the world is crumbling around them,

[7:40] and they have to like,

[7:41] they have to steal a gem from an evil warlord that's using it to control the earth.

[7:46] Well,

[7:46] this is it.

[7:47] Yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[7:47] it's like Ice Nine or some shit.

[7:48] Yeah,

[7:49] somehow they ended up in Stormbringer,

[7:51] and literally,

[7:52] the forces of chaos are making the earth unstable beneath their feet.

Dan McCoy

[7:56] But luckily,

[7:57] it ties into whatever book they were just reading.

[7:59] Well,

[8:00] yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[8:00] they're reading Stormbringer by Michael Moorcock.

[8:03] So,

[8:03] they're like,

[8:04] oh,

[8:04] this is just like when Elric called upon the forces of law to help him.

[8:08] Yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[8:09] let's do another dirty book like Fifty Shades of Grey.

[8:12] This author's name is Moorcock.

[8:14] Yes,

[8:14] please.

Elliott Kalan

[8:17] I'd like some weird of the white wolf.

[8:21] Now,

[8:22] there's nothing I want to see more than that.

[8:24] Is the book club the next chapter again,

[8:27] and it's the next,

[8:27] next chapter in the reading of Elric novels.

[8:29] Ooh,

Elliott Kalan

[8:29] what's this Von Beck guy all about?

[8:33] I'd like to see his Ebon blade.

[8:35] Okay,

[8:36] so,

[8:37] the,

[8:38] and one of them,

[8:39] their pants falls down,

[8:40] and the other one looks away and says,

[8:41] I don't need to see your Hawkmoon,

[8:43] you know.

[8:44] Yep.

[8:44] So,

[8:45] anyway.

[8:45] You got any Eternal Champion content?

Dan McCoy

[8:47] No,

[8:47] I don't.

[8:47] Are you familiar with the Michael Moorcock universe?

Elliott Kalan

[8:50] Okay,

[8:50] never mind.

Dan McCoy

[8:50] Only through the final program,

[8:53] that episode we did.

Elliott Kalan

[8:54] Yeah,

[8:55] yeah.

[8:55] Cool.

[8:56] So,

[8:56] you know a little bit about Jerry Cornelius?

[8:58] Sure,

[8:58] yeah.

[8:58] With,

Dan McCoy

[8:58] with Joel and Matt McGinnis.

[9:01] Yeah.

[9:01] Smiling Stan.

[9:03] Look it up.

[9:04] Yeah.

[9:05] Episode,

Elliott Kalan

[9:06] whatever.

[9:07] So,

[9:07] let's get on to the book of the next chapter.

[9:09] So,

[9:09] just to refresh everybody's memories,

[9:11] in the previous movie,

[9:12] called Book Club,

[9:13] we were introduced to four women,

[9:14] whose character names,

[9:16] I'm just not going to bother with.

[9:17] I'm just calling them by their actors' names.

[9:19] Please.

[9:19] Okay?

[9:20] There's no reason.

[9:21] Diane Keaton's is the same.

[9:22] It's Diane.

[9:23] That's true.

[9:23] Diane Keaton's character's name,

[9:24] Diane.

[9:25] They've been friends for decades.

[9:26] They're now in a book club.

[9:28] In the previous movie,

[9:28] inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey,

[9:31] they made some changes to their lives.

[9:32] Free loving hotelier,

[9:34] Jane Fonda,

[9:35] allows herself to fall in love with Don Johnson.

[9:37] Nervous widow,

[9:38] Diane Keaton,

[9:38] allows herself to love Andy Garcia.

[9:41] Mary Steenburgen rekindles her sex life with husband,

[9:44] Craig T.

[9:44] Nelson,

[9:45] and judge and elderly incel,

[9:47] Candace Bergen,

[9:48] finally thaws and has sex with Richard Dreyfuss.

[9:50] And so,

[9:51] that's the first movie.

[9:52] That's the whole thing.

[9:52] You don't need to know anymore.

[9:54] Thanks.

[9:54] We open with a voiceover.

[9:55] Diane Keaton asks,

[9:57] how does a woman in her 70s get married?

[10:00] We don't get the answer to that question yet.

[10:01] First,

[10:01] we get a long montage of the ladies meeting over Zoom during COVID.

[10:05] This goes on for a long time.

[10:07] Guys,

[10:07] did you think we would see this much Zoom COVID footage?

Stuart Wellington

[10:11] I was impressed with their fucking lighting rig,

[10:14] because Zoom is not very charitable to poor lighting setups,

[10:18] but they were killing it.

Dan McCoy

[10:20] I was not expecting any,

[10:22] so this was definitely more than that.

[10:24] It did seem like-

Stuart Wellington

[10:25] Dan likes to go in as a blank slate when he sees a movie, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[10:28] He calls himself a Daniela Rasa.

[10:30] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[10:30] I didn't know that this would,

[10:32] I don't know that even if I looked at a synopsis,

[10:34] they would focus on the fact that it starts out with a bunch of zooming.

Elliott Kalan

[10:36] It seems weird that Book Club feels the need to be,

[10:39] one, topical,

[10:40] and two,

[10:40] that it has to give the characters a motivation for why they would want to go on a trip together.

[10:45] Like,

[10:45] oh,

[10:46] we've been stuck in our houses.

[10:47] We should go on a trip together.

[10:48] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[10:49] And all these things are shot,

[10:51] you know,

[10:51] like,

[10:51] clearly,

[10:52] one at a time.

[10:53] Like,

[10:53] they don't seem to be interacting with anyone.

[10:55] It's just like they're delivering zingers to camera.

Elliott Kalan

[10:57] Yeah.

[10:58] There's a lot of zingers in this.

[10:59] I think,

[10:59] I'm not sure if I want to give them credit for trying to make the movie mean a little bit something

[11:03] by tapping into a modern thing,

[11:05] but it does feel unnecessary.

[11:07] But,

[11:07] one thing we do learn during that time,

[11:09] Craig T. Nelson survives a heart attack,

[11:11] and Candace Bergen retires from her job as a judge.

[11:15] Now,

[11:15] COVID is over,

[11:16] and they reunite in person,

[11:17] ostensibly-

Stuart Wellington

[11:18] And,

[11:18] and Mary Steenburgen loses her restaurant.

Elliott Kalan

[11:21] That's true.

[11:21] And her restaurant closed during COVID.

[11:23] She's a chef.

[11:24] Did we forget to mention that?

[11:25] She's a chef.

[11:25] She's a chef,

[11:26] yeah.

[11:26] It's surprisingly much more important to this movie than it is to the previous movie.

Stuart Wellington

[11:30] Yeah,

[11:30] it's pretty important.

Elliott Kalan

[11:31] So,

[11:32] ostensibly,

[11:34] they're getting together to talk about The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho.

[11:37] Ask me how many copies of that I sold when I lived at,

[11:40] when I lived at,

[11:40] when I worked at Barnes & Noble.

[11:41] I never lived at Barnes & Noble.

[11:42] How many of you?

[11:43] I wasn't like,

[11:43] I wasn't like Leonardo DiCaprio in Growing Pain,

[11:46] sleeping in a closet.

[11:47] Like,

[11:47] I was,

[11:48] I sold,

[11:48] when I was a bookseller at Barnes & Noble,

[11:51] I probably sold 1,700 copies of The Alchemist.

[11:54] It was a very popular book.

[11:56] Very popular.

Stuart Wellington

[11:57] Second only to The Game and books you've sold.

Dan McCoy

[12:03] I was unfamiliar with this book.

[12:05] I read the Wikipedia article about it,

[12:07] which is,

[12:08] you know,

[12:09] obviously the best way to experience any work of literature.

[12:11] Sure, sure.

[12:12] You know,

[12:13] what's the deal?

[12:13] What's it about?

[12:14] Well,

[12:15] it's,

[12:15] it's based on,

[12:17] I guess,

[12:18] sort of an old folktale just about like,

[12:21] oh man has a dream about,

[12:23] there's treasure somewhere.

[12:24] It gets interpreted as like,

[12:26] oh,

[12:26] there's treasure somewhere else.

[12:27] He goes to that other place.

[12:29] And then once he's there,

[12:30] he hears about another dream that the treasure was at the original place he had the dream about.

[12:34] So he goes back and gets it.

[12:36] And like,

[12:37] the point is like,

[12:37] I guess that your treasure is where you already were.

[12:40] Or I,

[12:41] I don't even know.

[12:42] It seemed like,

[12:43] it seemed like someone had taken an old folktale and turned it into kind of a new agey,

[12:51] like,

[12:53] a thing about living your life.

[12:55] Yes.

[12:56] It's a real self-help novel.

Elliott Kalan

[12:57] It's a,

[12:57] it's a real self,

[12:58] I mean,

[12:59] the,

[13:00] a lot of people would buy this book at Barnes & Noble in conjunction with The Four Agreements by Don McGill-Louis.

[13:06] So it's like,

[13:06] it's one of those books that is a,

[13:08] it's a novel,

[13:09] but it's like a self-help novel.

[13:10] Or like,

[13:11] the same people who would buy like the Celestine Prophecy would buy it,

[13:15] you know?

[13:16] Yes.

[13:16] I got the,

Dan McCoy

[13:17] like,

[13:17] again,

[13:18] Wikipedia,

[13:19] there's not a way of experiencing this book.

[13:21] I could be unfair to it.

[13:23] I got the impression reading about it that it was something that I would throw across the room and discussed.

Elliott Kalan

[13:28] Oh,

[13:28] wow.

[13:30] Well,

[13:30] these ladies do not throw it across the room.

[13:32] Instead,

[13:32] they take a somewhat inspiration,

[13:34] although the book kind of feels like an afterthought.

[13:36] They'll just mention it every now and then,

[13:37] and it feels like they just threw it in to justify calling this movie book club,

[13:41] and not just like best exotic Italian hotel,

[13:45] you know?

[13:46] We also learned that Candace Bergen is now a fuck machine.

[13:50] She is just constantly screwing guys,

[13:53] and everyone knows it.

[13:54] She has gone from the,

[13:55] from the most spinsterish of the,

[13:58] of the ladies to just someone who's really owning her body and owning her sexuality in a way that is as inspiring to the audience as it is annoying to her friends.

[14:07] And Jane Fonder reveals to everybody that she's engaged.

[14:10] And Mary Steenberg is like,

[14:12] remember how we all wanted to go to Italy together decades ago,

[14:15] and we didn't because Diane Keaton got pregnant?

[14:17] Let's do that for Jane's bachelorette party.

[14:19] And this idea is greeted with a resounding,

[14:21] no,

[14:21] we're not going to do that.

[14:23] Guys,

[14:23] were you surprised?

[14:24] You knew they would go to Italy.

[14:24] You saw the poster.

[14:26] Were you thrown for a loop when they said,

[14:27] no,

[14:27] we're not going to go?

[14:28] This feels like a pretty big conflict.

Stuart Wellington

[14:30] I don't know if they're going to be able to resolve it in the movie's runtime.

Dan McCoy

[14:33] I don't think they'll resolve it within the next 20 seconds.

[14:36] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[14:37] I guess not since the trip to Italy.

[14:39] Has there been a movie that,

[14:40] that,

[14:41] that had less conflict about whether they should go to Italy or not?

Dan McCoy

[14:44] I mean,

[14:45] the reasons they all give are,

[14:47] I forget what they are,

[14:48] but if it were me,

[14:51] I feel like the movie doesn't need this beat where they like decide to go at all.

[14:57] Like there's,

[14:57] I mean,

[14:58] although I also texted Audrey to say that,

[15:02] I also texted you guys,

[15:04] I remembered,

[15:05] to say that they cut out all of the stuff that doesn't need to be in this movie.

[15:08] There would be no movie.

[15:09] But like this part,

[15:10] like there's no reason to like go through this,

[15:12] like,

[15:12] unless they're like literally doing like a Joseph Campbell,

[15:16] like,

[15:16] okay,

[15:16] they got to refuse the calls.

[15:18] I think like all of the reasons that I would give to not take a trip to Italy are not the reasons that this movie gives,

[15:24] which are like,

[15:25] I don't know.

[15:26] That's like a lot of money and fuss.

Elliott Kalan

[15:28] Well,

[15:29] a person who is not a retired rich person would say,

[15:33] I have a life.

[15:34] I can't just pick up and run off to Italy.

[15:36] This is expensive.

[15:37] I don't know if I can afford it.

[15:38] I have to go to the trouble of booking it and planning it.

[15:41] But these characters live in a fantasy world where they have unlimited money and unlimited time.

[15:45] And so they can just up and go.

[15:46] I mean,

[15:46] later on,

[15:47] as we'll see,

[15:48] they lose their luggage and they're like,

[15:49] I guess we'll have to buy new things.

Stuart Wellington

[15:51] This is the wildest moment in the whole movie when they lose their luggage.

[15:55] And I'm like,

[15:56] are you telling me I'm going to have to go through the rest of this movie without being able to appreciate the signature style of Diane Keaton and Jane Fonda?

[16:04] That's wild.

[16:05] But nope,

[16:06] it's barely a roadblock.

[16:07] There is no reason.

Elliott Kalan

[16:08] It doesn't bother them.

[16:09] And either they are so rich that they can just buy new everything,

[16:13] which is where they are.

[16:14] Or all the characters are such devout Buddhists that they're like,

[16:18] possessions,

[16:19] they're transitive.

[16:20] You can't hold on to them and all desire leads to suffering.

[16:22] The text doesn't tell us which it is.

[16:24] You don't know which.

[16:25] I mean,

[16:25] there is a little bit of text that suggests that Jane Fonda is not a Buddhist and that she's looking at churches for her wedding with Don Johnson.

[16:32] Maybe it's just that Don Johnson is a devout Catholic in this movie.

[16:34] It doesn't really come up that much.

[16:36] And Don Johnson thinks Jane should go.

[16:38] And the fact that they have this conversation in front of a statue of St. Christopher,

[16:42] the patron saint of travelers,

[16:43] they take that as a sign.

[16:44] Now,

[16:44] does it hurt your gut?

[16:45] You guys,

[16:46] I'm sure were like,

[16:46] oh,

[16:46] that's beautiful.

[16:47] Does it hurt it at all to know that St. Christopher probably did not exist,

[16:50] was probably not a real person?

Dan McCoy

[16:52] I mean,

[16:53] I,

[16:54] the amount that I care about the saints could not be understated.

[16:59] The football team?

[16:59] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[16:59] Because I know when I think about St. Christopher and I think,

[17:03] well,

[17:03] according to tradition,

[17:04] he is a giant with a dog's head.

[17:06] I want him to be a real person so badly,

[17:08] but it's not,

[17:09] but he wasn't,

[17:10] you know,

[17:10] so,

[17:11] it hurts me.

Stuart Wellington

[17:12] You pose that question to me as if I believe in the Christian gods and we all know I don't.

Elliott Kalan

[17:18] That's true.

[17:18] I don't know if any of us do.

[17:19] I mean,

[17:20] I certainly don't.

[17:20] Maybe Dan does.

[17:21] He can,

[17:21] we can leave it up to the next episode of the peach bit when we talk about our faith.

[17:24] Then Candace,

[17:25] she swears a lot over speakerphone and they're embarrassed in the church.

[17:28] Candace Bergen's cat dies.

[17:29] Another omen.

[17:30] She has nothing holding her back from going to Italy now.

[17:32] And I wish this,

[17:33] this had turned into a kind of like don't look now type thing where she's seeing her cat around Italy.

[17:37] It's a sign that she's in danger.

[17:39] That doesn't happen.

Stuart Wellington

[17:40] She gets stabbed by a little,

[17:41] like a little hairy person.

[17:43] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[17:44] Spoiler alert.

[17:45] Like a cat,

[17:46] that cat stabbed by a cat in a red jacket.

[17:48] And meanwhile,

[17:49] lifelong bachelor Andy Garcia,

[17:51] who is now Diane Keaton's beau,

[17:53] he obviously wants to get married,

[17:54] but Diane Keaton,

[17:54] she is anti-marriage now.

[17:55] She doesn't want a part of it.

[17:57] They all fly to Rome.

[17:58] Hey guys,

[17:59] if you're-

Stuart Wellington

[17:59] Andy Garcia looks like he put the least effort in,

[18:02] by the way.

[18:03] Which is,

[18:04] yeah,

[18:04] I would say it doesn't look like he's trying very hard,

Dan McCoy

[18:07] but.

[18:07] I think he put in an appropriate,

[18:10] appropriate amount of effort to his role in this film,

[18:14] book club,

[18:14] the next chapter.

[18:15] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[18:15] that's fair.

[18:16] It's like run a razor over that face,

[18:17] buddy.

[18:18] I mean,

[18:18] nobody is,

[18:19] nobody is putting in an enormous amount of effort.

[18:21] I would like,

[18:22] I feel like the MVP of the movie is probably the actor Giancarlo Giannini,

[18:26] who we'll run into later.

[18:27] Yeah.

[18:27] We'll talk about it when he gets to it.

[18:28] But they fly to Rome.

[18:29] Hey guys,

[18:30] what would be the most cliche song for them to play as they fly to Rome?

[18:35] Rome by the B-52s?

[18:37] Nope.

[18:38] That would still be more exciting than what they do play,

[18:39] which is Mambo Italiano,

[18:41] a song I genuinely don't like.

[18:43] I don't understand why it still exists.

[18:44] It is so clearly a novelty song.

[18:46] Why it still exists?

[18:47] Are you suggesting we should go into the National Archives?

[18:51] Mambo Italiano?

[18:52] And maybe it's only because it's a song that I used to have to listen to a lot

[18:55] when I worked at that same Barnes & Noble where I was selling people copies of The Alchemist.

[19:00] It literally.

[19:01] It was an album that was in the playlist called Mob Hits,

[19:06] and our manager was Italian,

[19:08] and she's like,

[19:08] I love these songs.

[19:09] So we'd have to hear Mambo Italiano three or four times a day at least.

[19:12] And it's just like,

Dan McCoy

[19:13] Volare.

[19:15] Is that one there?

Elliott Kalan

[19:16] I don't remember,

[19:17] but they did literally have,

[19:18] da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

[19:21] You know, the Tarantella.

[19:21] Tarantella, yeah.

[19:22] Yeah.

[19:23] So anyway,

[19:24] there's a montage of them walking around Rome.

[19:25] They make a lot of jokes.

[19:26] They make a joke about what Candace Bergen calls her fanny pack,

[19:31] and I'm like,

[19:32] I love it.

[19:33] They're finding new variations on the same material from 80 for Brady.

Stuart Wellington

[19:36] Yeah.

[19:36] And there's,

[19:37] I think they did that scene in that scene,

[19:40] in that,

[19:41] like a square with steps in it in Rome

[19:44] that I just the other day saw Tom Cruise getting in a car chase

[19:47] in the new Mission Impossible.

[19:48] Maybe that's the same day.

[19:49] Was that the Spanish steps,

[19:50] or are they different steps?

[19:52] Well,

[19:52] there's no sign.

Elliott Kalan

[19:54] And so they spend a lot of time looking at nude Roman statues

[19:57] and just riffing jokes about them.

[19:59] And it's like,

[20:00] this is what the audience that's coming to this wants to see,

[20:03] which is these four ladies making sex jokes about statues

[20:05] in beautiful Roman settings.

Dan McCoy

[20:08] But all of them seem like jokes that were improvised on the day.

[20:13] Like,

[20:13] let's just do a couple more.

[20:15] And like,

[20:16] none of them were as good as the,

[20:18] whatever they had scripted.

[20:19] So like,

[20:19] in a normal movie,

[20:20] they'd be tossed out.

[20:22] Because like,

[20:22] all of these are like,

[20:23] okay,

[20:23] I guess that's kind of a joke.

[20:25] Like,

[20:25] it's sort of funny.

[20:27] Oh,

[20:28] look,

[20:28] he's remained hard for centuries because he's made of stone as a statue.

[20:35] They're like really obsessed with the penises on these statues.

[20:38] They are like,

Elliott Kalan

[20:39] old,

[20:39] late out Dan.

[20:40] If you don't spend time around older women much,

[20:42] it's in my experience,

[20:44] spending time around my grandmothers penises is 80% of what they think about.

[20:48] I mean,

[20:49] 20%,

[20:49] 20% is what are we going to eat next?

[20:51] And the other 80% is penises,

[20:53] stories about penises.

[20:54] They've known what penises around them at the moment.

[20:57] Just judging by the sample set of my two grandmothers,

[21:00] this is what they talk about.

Dan McCoy

[21:01] I gotta say,

[21:02] I love that.

[21:04] As a movie,

[21:05] it was funny to me that like,

[21:07] there were a couple of,

[21:07] like at the beginning,

[21:09] it's all just sort of montages,

[21:12] but not like high energy,

[21:14] quick cut montages,

[21:15] just sort of like,

[21:16] very casually montages of them looking at penises and making jokes about how they're old now.

Elliott Kalan

[21:24] Yeah.

[21:24] I mean,

[21:25] the thing is,

[21:25] your focus audience on this,

[21:28] your ideal audience cannot take a quick cut montage.

[21:31] It might give them a heart attack.

[21:32] Yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[21:33] if they watch that scene from Taken 3,

[21:35] their eyeballs could fly out of their heads.

Elliott Kalan

[21:37] They just go into immediate cardiac arrest.

[21:39] I'm surprised that the movie doesn't use von Sternberg style slow dissolves between the different cuts,

[21:44] just to make it,

[21:44] just to ease you in.

[21:45] But anyway,

[21:46] all this fun,

[21:47] riffing on these statues' dicks,

[21:48] it ends when Mary Steenburgen catches Craig T. Nelson on the kitchen spot camera eating bacon in her kitchen.

[21:55] He's not supposed to do that.

[21:56] He had a heart attack.

[21:57] He can't eat bacon.

[21:58] And now when the cat's away,

[21:59] the mouse is going to eat bacon?

[22:01] I don't think so.

[22:02] But there's only one way to get over this.

[22:04] Wedding dress shopping montage.

[22:06] They take Jane Fonda to what looks like the most expensive wedding dress shop,

[22:10] tailor shop in the world probably.

[22:12] They all put on dresses.

[22:14] We don't even get,

[22:15] we don't get that much of them shaking their heads back and forth.

[22:17] No,

[22:18] which is the best part of a trying on montage.

Stuart Wellington

[22:20] I like this scene.

[22:23] I wouldn't.

Dan McCoy

[22:24] So,

[22:25] give me a dress trying on montage,

[22:26] please.

[22:27] I will admit,

[22:28] and it may surprise you,

[22:29] I don't know a lot about shopping for a wedding dress.

[22:33] But at high-end places,

[22:35] do they typically like when all four of the people there want to try on dresses even though one of them is a bride?

Elliott Kalan

[22:42] I would say probably yes,

[22:43] that those dresses are so expensive that your job is to sell one of them.

[22:47] And if it takes pouring champagne down their gullets until they're so drunk,

[22:52] they don't even know what they're doing.

[22:53] It takes all of them trying on dresses.

[22:55] Like,

[22:55] just selling one dress and that probably pays his rent for a month.

[22:59] So,

[23:00] he'll let them try on whatever.

[23:01] He'll let them try on his clothes.

[23:03] This is the tailor I'm talking about.

[23:05] You want to get married in this?

[23:06] Huh?

[23:07] Like,

[23:08] they can pee on a couple of the dresses just to see how the fabric absorbs or if it bounces stains off.

[23:13] As long as he sells one dress,

[23:14] he's fine.

[23:15] Very important.

[23:15] Luckily,

[23:16] he sells,

[23:17] as we later find out,

[23:18] two dresses because they insist Diane Keaton wear a dress that has big black dots.

[23:21] And as we said earlier in the episode,

[23:23] they say,

[23:23] that's you as a dress and they are totally right.

[23:26] This is,

[23:26] whoever,

[23:27] I'm going to say this,

[23:27] this movie should be nominated for no Academy Awards except for costume design

[23:31] because that dress has so perfectly captured Diane Keaton's soul in the form of a dress.

[23:35] And that's just good.

[23:36] That's just good costume design.

Stuart Wellington

[23:37] I feel like when the dress is first presented,

[23:39] it is hatless.

[23:39] And I'm like,

[23:40] ooh,

[23:40] it's missing something.

Dan McCoy

[23:42] Subject is hatless.

[23:45] Where's the,

Elliott Kalan

[23:45] where's the wide bring hat?

[23:47] Don't worry.

[23:48] She's going to get it because,

[23:49] because she needs,

[23:50] she needs to dress like a,

[23:51] like she's about to get,

[23:52] she's about to go con somebody in a poker game on a riverboat in the form of her hat.

[23:56] You know,

[23:57] it's not a Diane Keaton outfit unless Harold Hill hands her his hat to put on top.

[24:02] So they hang out and drink and they're just having a good time until a street caricaturist

[24:06] who's drawing a sexy picture of Candace Bergen insists that they have to go to.

[24:10] You mean a regular picture of Candace Bergen.

[24:12] Yeah,

[24:12] sorry.

[24:12] I apologize.

[24:13] It was redundant.

[24:13] It was redundant what I said.

[24:15] And I mean,

[24:15] and the other thing is they're all like,

[24:17] look at her,

[24:17] like with all the men.

[24:18] And it's like Candace Bergen was,

[24:20] you know,

[24:20] I mean,

[24:21] they were all,

[24:21] all of these women were,

[24:22] were notorious beauties throughout their careers.

[24:25] But Candace Bergen especially.

[24:26] Notorious.

[24:27] Notorious because of the crimes they committed through their beauty.

[24:30] But Candace Bergen,

[24:32] especially when she was young,

[24:33] it was like she was the,

[24:34] she was treated just as the,

[24:35] as a,

[24:36] you know,

[24:37] she was,

[24:37] she was the blonde goddess,

[24:38] you know,

[24:39] and things like that.

[24:39] So it makes sense.

[24:41] Anyway,

[24:41] they,

[24:43] but again,

[24:44] they're rich retirees.

[24:44] So they're like,

[24:45] I assume they already paid for hotel rooms in Rome,

[24:48] but they're like,

[24:49] let's go to Venice.

[24:50] Let's get to Vinny,

[24:51] everybody.

[24:51] We're going to vent it up.

[24:53] They go to the train station.

[24:54] Here's where they make the only mistake of the movie.

[24:57] They hand off their luggage to the porters at the train station.

[24:59] And the porters seem genuinely surprised that they're receiving luggage.

[25:02] They only,

[25:02] only to learn when they finally get to Venice after a long train trip,

[25:06] the train station doesn't have porters.

[25:08] Their luggage has been stolen.

[25:09] Although I don't know if you can call it stealing.

[25:11] If someone literally hands you the luggage,

[25:12] it's possible.

[25:13] Those guys were just wearing vests.

[25:15] I don't know about Roman fashion.

[25:16] They comment on that.

[25:17] Yeah.

[25:17] They comment on that.

Dan McCoy

[25:18] Yeah.

[25:18] They could be bike messengers.

[25:20] Now,

[25:20] yes,

[25:20] much like in,

[25:21] uh,

[25:22] you know,

[25:22] a similar film,

[25:23] 80 for Brady,

[25:24] an important item has now been lost and will,

[25:28] much like in 80 for Brady,

[25:30] not have any real bearing on the plot.

[25:33] Uh,

[25:33] even more so.

[25:34] In fact,

[25:35] like the,

[25:35] this is,

[25:36] it is wild.

[25:38] The degree to which losing all of their luggage seems to impact them.

[25:41] Not one bit other than some brief,

[25:44] uh,

[25:45] you know,

[25:46] distress and,

[25:47] uh,

[25:48] Diane Keaton admitting like,

[25:49] oh,

[25:49] I had the ashes of my husband.

[25:51] Yeah.

[25:52] And they,

[25:52] in a scene that like,

[25:54] I,

[25:54] the only time I got mad at the movie,

[25:57] like I yelled at the,

[25:58] at the screen at one point during the scene,

[26:00] just tell them because like,

Stuart Wellington

[26:03] it's the most ridiculous,

[26:04] like waffling around.

[26:06] Like they're all like,

Dan McCoy

[26:06] no,

[26:07] it's fine.

[26:07] It doesn't,

[26:07] it doesn't matter.

[26:08] We want,

[26:08] like there's no,

[26:09] like she's clearly in distress.

[26:10] I'm like,

[26:11] why are you doing this movie?

[26:13] There's no reason why she wouldn't just tell her friends,

[26:15] like I had my husband's ashes.

Elliott Kalan

[26:17] Well,

[26:17] she's embarrassed.

[26:18] She knows it's illegal.

[26:19] And,

[26:20] and also Dan,

[26:21] she's because I don't know if you ever saw the episode of my secret

[26:24] addiction where the woman is eating her husband's ashes,

[26:26] but it's possible.

[26:27] It's one of those situations.

[26:28] Okay.

[26:29] And she brought it along as a snack.

[26:30] Yeah.

[26:31] As a snack.

[26:31] Exactly.

[26:32] Yeah.

[26:32] And she doesn't want to share it with everybody.

[26:34] So that's the thing.

[26:34] She doesn't want to tell them because they'll be like,

[26:36] give me a handful of ashes.

[26:37] And she doesn't want to share.

[26:39] She's,

[26:39] she's,

[26:39] Diane,

Dan McCoy

[26:40] you're,

[26:40] you're getting cranky again.

[26:41] Why don't you eat some,

[26:43] another snack out of that urn you're carrying around with your snack urn.

Stuart Wellington

[26:47] Out of your snack urn.

[26:48] Yeah.

[26:48] Guys,

[26:49] I've traveled a little,

[26:50] you know,

[26:50] here and there.

[26:51] And I got to say,

[26:52] the thought of like losing all my luggage is terrifying.

[26:56] Yeah.

[26:57] And I'm not somebody who has to travel with what I'm guessing is a large collection of pills.

Elliott Kalan

[27:03] I mean,

[27:03] that's something they never bring up,

[27:05] which,

[27:05] which you know for sure is a problem.

[27:07] They all have medication and their medication is gone now,

[27:09] but that's the fantasy.

[27:11] The fantasy is that you.

[27:11] Smart travelers.

[27:12] They've like all,

[27:13] it's all in their carry on.

[27:14] I mean,

[27:15] the fact that Jane Fonda has brought her wedding dress as carry on on the train is a weird,

[27:20] is a weird thing.

Stuart Wellington

[27:21] She also seems to be carrying it sometimes.

[27:23] And other times she's like,

[27:24] it'll show up at the next stop.

[27:26] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[27:26] My guess is that continuity was not,

[27:28] not,

[27:28] not a real,

[27:29] not a real focus for this movie,

[27:31] but it's true.

[27:32] The,

[27:32] but you're right.

[27:33] And Candace Bergen,

[27:33] she probably has all their pills in her,

[27:35] in her waist wallet or whatever she calls her fanny back.

[27:37] Now,

[27:38] this movie,

[27:40] it does,

[27:41] it,

[27:41] I feel like we have to,

[27:42] we,

[27:42] it's hard to overstate how little they seem to give a shit that all of their worldly possessions

[27:47] they brought with them are gone,

[27:48] except for Diane Keaton's husband's ashes.

[27:50] And I was like,

[27:52] all right,

[27:53] I guess they have to buy,

[27:53] we're going to have to watch them buy new stuff.

[27:55] They never get around to it.

[27:56] So you have to assume they're just traveling through the lead without toothbrushes,

[27:59] underpants.

[28:00] Like maybe they did it off camera.

[28:01] I don't know,

[28:02] but they seem to have so much time gallivanting around that they're just,

[28:04] they wear,

[28:05] they're just without the normal things that,

[28:06] because I agree.

[28:07] If I lose my luggage on a trip,

[28:10] that's the trip is gone for the first couple of,

[28:12] until I get that luggage back.

[28:13] It's the only thing I'm focused on.

Stuart Wellington

[28:15] Like,

[28:15] I like to think I'm fucking chill and cool,

[28:17] but honestly,

[28:18] it will stress me out.

Elliott Kalan

[28:20] It reminds me,

[28:21] it reminds me of,

[28:22] there's a,

[28:22] a,

[28:23] a former colleague of Dan and mine's,

[28:24] uh,

[28:25] Trayvon Free.

[28:25] He once tweeted a picture of,

[28:27] of Kanye West getting out of a taxi cab.

[28:29] In New York while holding a MacBook laptop by the corner between two fingers as he steps out of a cab.

[28:36] And Trayvon was like,

[28:38] this is,

[28:38] I've never seen anything more rich than,

[28:41] you can't be more rich than walking out of a taxi cab,

[28:43] holding a,

[28:44] a laptop as if it's a piece of garbage that you don't mind if it falls out of your fingers as you're getting out of the cab.

[28:50] Like,

[28:50] it was the most,

[28:51] it was like,

[28:51] just the,

[28:52] just such a total idea that this computer is disposable and I could just buy a new one in a moment if I drop this,

[28:57] you know?

[28:57] And so it's,

[28:59] that's the world they're living in.

[29:00] They're living in a world of anything they want is at their beck and call because they're unlimited.

[29:04] They've unlimited,

[29:05] they did the cheat code at the beginning for unlimited wealth.

[29:08] And yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[29:08] and anytime they need a new outfit,

[29:10] they have one that matches their specific,

[29:12] their specific style.

[29:14] And,

Elliott Kalan

[29:14] and,

[29:14] uh,

[29:15] although I will say losing their luggage,

[29:16] it at least pays off the moment that drove me the most nuts in the movie,

[29:21] which is when Mary Steenberg goes,

[29:23] my purse is gone.

[29:23] I lost my purse.

[29:24] And they search for it and it turns out to be under her seat.

[29:27] And they spend so much time.

[29:28] I mean,

[29:29] screen time is probably 10 seconds,

[29:30] but it felt like I was in purgatory.

[29:32] It felt like I was,

[29:33] I was in the,

[29:33] I was on the long jaunt.

[29:35] Yeah.

[29:35] It opened my eyes.

[29:36] You're an old man now with crazy eyes.

Dan McCoy

[29:38] Eternity of them searching for a purse.

[29:40] This is what happens in a movie when there's so little going on.

[29:44] There's a point towards the end of the movie where they spoiler,

[29:49] we'll get there.

[29:49] Like,

[29:50] but they're all assembled for a wedding.

[29:53] Uh huh.

[29:53] Yep.

[29:54] Like any other movie,

[29:56] you'd be like,

[29:57] okay,

[29:57] we're seven minutes from the end and there's 26 minutes left in the film.

[30:02] Like,

[30:02] well,

[30:02] how is this possible?

[30:04] What is going to happen?

Elliott Kalan

[30:05] Yeah.

[30:06] How could they,

[30:06] how could time be bent so that there's still more to do in this movie?

[30:10] Uh,

[30:10] anyway,

[30:10] so,

[30:11] and there's,

[30:11] it all reminds me,

[30:12] and we'll move on in a moment.

[30:13] It reminds me,

[30:13] there's a scene in the movie,

[30:14] uh,

[30:14] meet Joe Black where he is introducing,

[30:17] the characters are meeting Joe Black.

[30:19] He's introduced,

[30:19] Anthony Hopkins is introducing Brad Pitt to his kids.

[30:22] And he's,

[30:23] he can't think of a name for Brad Pitt's character who we know is deaf.

[30:26] And they're like,

[30:27] his name,

[30:27] what they call him.

[30:28] Like,

[30:29] what is it?

[30:29] Uh,

[30:30] uh,

[30:30] and it goes on forever.

[30:32] And I remember that.

Dan McCoy

[30:32] Does he look at a cup of coffee and go,

[30:34] Joe Black?

[30:35] Is that how it happens?

Elliott Kalan

[30:36] I don't remember because there was a Conan O'Brien sketch where they,

[30:39] they used to do a thing where they would just,

[30:40] uh,

[30:41] they would show scenes from movies and they'd mess with them in some way.

[30:43] And they extended that moment.

[30:45] So it went on,

[30:46] it went on for so long.

[30:47] of him trying to stumble and figure out this name.

[30:50] And that's what the scene feels like.

[30:51] Anyway,

[30:52] uh,

[30:52] maybe they do that off camera,

[30:53] uh,

[30:54] buying stuff.

[30:55] So the ladies are pretty blase,

[30:56] but losing their stuff.

[30:56] But when the police chief tells them he can't do much to help them,

[30:59] Candace is very rude to him.

[31:01] And this police chief is played by Giancarlo Giannini,

[31:04] who is a major Italian actor,

[31:06] was one of Lena Wirtmuller's favorite leading men.

[31:09] He's the star of Swept Away,

[31:10] the star of Seven Beauties.

[31:11] Like,

[31:11] he got,

[31:12] he got murdered by Hannibal in the movie Hannibal.

[31:15] Yes,

Elliott Kalan

[31:15] he's in Hannibal.

[31:16] He's like,

[31:16] this is a guy,

[31:17] he's in,

[31:17] he's in the first two Daniel Craig James Bond movies.

[31:20] But like,

[31:20] this is a guy who is a major part of Italian cinema.

[31:23] And it's just very funny to see him in this movie.

[31:25] And he,

[31:27] I feel like he is not doing a lot in this movie,

[31:29] but he's doing enough that I like him in this movie.

[31:32] But it's,

[31:32] there's this part of me that's like,

[31:34] is he seeing this as a professional where it's like,

[31:36] hey,

[31:36] at least I'm working.

[31:37] Or is he like,

[31:38] I can't believe I'm in this nonsense,

[31:40] this nothing of a movie,

[31:42] you know,

[31:42] is he enjoying it or not?

Dan McCoy

[31:43] I'm sure he did it because he wanted to meet these ladies.

[31:46] That's possible.

Elliott Kalan

[31:47] It's very possible.

[31:47] So Giancarlo,

[31:48] if you're listening,

[31:49] please write in,

[31:50] tell us.

[31:50] Yeah,

[31:50] write in.

[31:50] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[31:51] This is a scene though,

[31:52] where I'm like,

[31:52] you know,

[31:53] it's hard to make me sympathize with the cop in a scene,

[31:55] but,

[31:56] but I was kind of like,

[31:58] what do you,

[31:58] like,

[31:58] what do you expect?

[32:00] Like you handed your luggage to people.

[32:03] And now you're like making these snide remarks about how the police can't do much about it.

[32:07] In another city,

Elliott Kalan

[32:08] you showed up in Venice and you're telling the police chief of Venice,

[32:11] hey,

[32:12] I handed my bags to somebody in Rome,

[32:14] find them for me.

[32:15] He's like,

[32:15] there's nothing,

[32:16] there's literally nothing I can do.

[32:18] Like this,

[32:19] I guess I'll put out an APB for your luggage in another city.

[32:23] But it's,

[32:23] so,

[32:23] Candace Bergen is really out of line,

[32:25] but she'll learn her lesson.

[32:26] And we do not,

[32:27] they ride around Venice and they stay for free at Jane Fonda's Friends Luxury Hotel.

[32:32] We never see them buy new toothbrushes.

[32:34] At the hotel,

[32:35] Candace Bergen does not waste time.

[32:36] She flirts with Usman,

[32:37] a retired British professor.

[32:39] My favorite performance.

[32:40] He also wears a fanny pack.

[32:41] He is hitting on her hard.

[32:43] And,

[32:44] and this is,

[32:45] this is played by an actor named Hugh Quarshie,

[32:47] who was also in.

Stuart Wellington

[32:48] You mean Captain Panaka from Star Wars The Phantom Menace?

[32:52] Yeah,

[32:52] that's what he's best known for.

[32:53] Yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[32:53] he was also in Highlander.

[32:54] He's in a lot of stuff also.

[32:56] He had a lot of charm in this.

[32:58] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[32:59] And he sings that,

[33:00] he sings that pretty good Italian cover of Gloria,

[33:03] Carrie E.

[33:04] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[33:04] He later.

[33:04] Sure.

[33:04] He also appeared in Fantastic Beasts,

[33:06] The Crimes of Grindelwald.

[33:07] So he's been in a Flophouse movie before.

[33:09] Oh,

[33:09] cool.

[33:10] But,

[33:10] yeah,

[33:10] he,

[33:11] yeah,

[33:12] he,

[33:12] so,

[33:12] so he invites them to a party.

[33:14] There's a scene where Jane Fonda and Don Johnson are flirting over text silently with no words.

[33:20] And you have to assume they just told them to walk around a room pretending to text.

[33:24] And then just put in,

[33:25] like,

[33:26] fake texts later.

[33:27] There's no point.

[33:28] There's no reason for that.

Dan McCoy

[33:29] What do they put in the dirtiest text afterwards?

Elliott Kalan

[33:33] I'm imagining my cock in you right now.

[33:36] Guess where?

[33:37] No,

[33:37] I'm imagining it in me.

[33:38] Guess where?

[33:39] Ears?

[33:40] No.

[33:41] Nose?

[33:41] Yes.

[33:41] That is hard.

[33:42] That's some dirty stuff, Elliot.

[33:44] And then Jane Fonda watches this at the premiere and is like,

[33:47] what did you do to my movie?

[33:52] Anyway,

[33:52] so they go to this fancy dinner.

[33:54] They don't have to worry about a hotel room.

[33:55] They're staying at Jane's friend's hotel.

[33:57] They go to a fancy dinner that Usman has invited them to.

[34:00] It's a lot of fun.

[34:01] Usman sings Gloria and Mary joins him on the accordion.

[34:04] But more importantly,

[34:05] Mary Steenburgen learns that the chef where they're having the dinner

[34:08] is her old cooking school boyfriend,

[34:11] Gianni.

[34:11] Uh-oh.

[34:13] But wait,

[34:14] she's married.

[34:15] She's married to Craig T. Nelson?

[34:16] She can't talk to another man.

Stuart Wellington

[34:16] But I guess there's no rules when you're in Venice,

[34:19] right, guys?

Elliott Kalan

[34:20] When you're in Italy,

[34:21] yeah,

[34:21] what happens in Venice stays in Venice

[34:23] because the water levels rise so high that you're trapped there.

[34:25] There's no way to get out.

[34:26] It's dangerous.

[34:27] There's no roads.

[34:28] The city's sinking.

[34:29] What if at the end of Back to the Future,

[34:30] he said,

[34:31] where we're going,

[34:31] we don't need roads,

[34:32] and they just went to Venice?

Stuart Wellington

[34:35] It'd be even weirder if they went to Rhodes in Greece.

[34:38] I don't need roads.

[34:39] And you're like,

[34:40] what?

[34:40] You said the opposite, dude.

[34:43] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[34:43] No, I said we're going to Rhodes.

[34:45] No, you didn't.

Elliott Kalan

[34:45] You said where we're going,

[34:46] we don't need roads.

[34:47] You misheard me.

[34:48] Marty,

[34:48] you misheard me.

[34:49] I said we're going,

[34:50] it's Rhodes.

[34:51] Why would you phrase it that way?

[34:53] It doesn't make any sense.

[34:57] Anyway,

[34:58] that was a cut scene from Back to the Future Part 2,

[35:00] Greek vacation.

[35:03] Yeah.

[35:03] So,

[35:04] there's no time traveling in this one.

Stuart Wellington

[35:06] No,

[35:07] there's time traveling.

[35:08] They end up in the wrong universe,

[35:09] and the Colossus of Rhodes is a giant Biff.

Elliott Kalan

[35:12] It's a giant Biff.

[35:13] Yeah,

[35:13] what an amazing second movie that would have been

[35:16] if instead they went to ancient Greece

[35:18] to end Biphiles.

[35:19] Biff's ancestor is there,

[35:20] and they accidentally set it up

[35:22] so that he becomes the king of Greece forever.

[35:25] Oh,

[35:25] man.

[35:26] What a,

[35:27] I want to see that so badly now.

[35:29] Yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[35:29] and they set up some kind of imperial cloning system

[35:32] so that the,

[35:33] it's always just Biffs after Biffs.

Elliott Kalan

[35:35] Oh,

[35:35] yeah,

[35:36] yeah,

[35:36] exactly.

[35:38] Because,

[35:39] because the thing is,

[35:40] Archimedes finds the,

[35:42] the,

[35:42] the flux capacitor,

[35:43] and he's able to reverse engineer it

[35:45] into amazing technological feats.

Stuart Wellington

[35:48] Archimedes is Merlin's bird,

[35:49] right?

[35:50] Is that the situation?

[35:51] Yes,

Elliott Kalan

[35:51] it's Merlin's mechanical bird

[35:53] for Glass of the Titans

[35:54] because that's happening

[35:54] in the same universe.

[35:55] Yes.

[35:56] Thank you.

[35:57] Okay.

[35:58] Yeah.

[35:59] Well,

[35:59] now I want to see that movie

[36:01] really badly.

Dan McCoy

[36:02] I'm sorry I didn't join in on that.

[36:03] I was too busy thinking about

[36:04] Negatronic Teenage Warhead of Rhodes.

[36:09] Anyway.

Elliott Kalan

[36:09] So anyway,

[36:10] Mary gets a tour of Gianni's kitchen

[36:12] while Jane and Diane have a heart of,

[36:14] heart of,

[36:14] while Jane and Diane have a heart to heart talk,

[36:17] which is one of many heart to heart talks

[36:18] our characters will have

[36:19] starting at this point in the movie.

[36:20] The tension,

[36:21] the sexual tension is so thick

[36:22] between Mary and Gianni.

[36:23] And I have to,

[36:24] I have to say during this scene

[36:25] of just the two of them hanging out,

[36:27] they did a really good job

[36:29] of just communicating through their mood,

[36:31] kind of this feeling of kind of

[36:33] awkward sexual attractiveness

[36:35] and remembering what it was like

[36:37] and having a history.

[36:39] Mary Steenburgen and this actor who,

[36:41] I don't remember his name.

[36:42] Oh,

[36:43] Vincent,

[36:43] Vincent Rioti is this actor

[36:45] and Riotta.

[36:46] And they just do a really fantastic,

[36:49] Dan,

[36:50] of course you'll remember him

[36:50] from your favorite movies,

[36:51] Captain Corelli's Mandolin

[36:52] and Under the Tuscan Sun.

[36:53] Sure,

[36:54] sure.

[36:54] You're always talking,

[36:55] you're a real sun head

[36:57] and a real man's head.

[36:59] They,

[36:59] they,

[37:00] they,

[37:00] they do a really good job in this.

[37:01] This is a scene that is in a dumb movie.

[37:04] It goes to a dumb place.

[37:05] And then they immediately ruin it

[37:07] with a

[37:07] stupid misdirect.

[37:09] With a misdirect

[37:10] where it looks like they're inside

[37:11] the chef's van

[37:13] that's inside his kitchen

[37:14] and it's rocking back and forth

[37:15] and they're grunting

[37:15] and you're like,

[37:16] oh,

[37:16] they gave in and they had sex.

[37:17] Nope,

[37:17] they're inside the van

[37:18] making pasta together.

Stuart Wellington

[37:20] That would have been wild

[37:21] if they,

[37:22] they actually just had sex,

[37:23] right?

Elliott Kalan

[37:25] To be honest,

[37:26] they're old.

[37:27] She's in another country.

[37:28] Her husband's kind of a jerk.

[37:29] It's like wild

Stuart Wellington

[37:30] if in the real world

[37:31] those two characters had sex.

[37:32] I'm saying in this specific movie

[37:34] that was the choice they made.

Elliott Kalan

[37:36] Well,

[37:36] only because it's not her character

[37:37] because right after this,

[37:39] the police chief catches

[37:40] Candace Bergen and Ousman

[37:42] having sex on a boat

[37:43] in the canals in Venice.

[37:44] I mean,

Stuart Wellington

[37:44] he was in the Phantom Menace.

[37:47] I get it.

Elliott Kalan

[37:48] I get it.

[37:49] I mean,

[37:49] he's,

Dan McCoy

[37:49] That's the important,

[37:50] that's what you look for

[37:51] in a sexual partner.

[37:52] Were you in the Phantom Menace?

[37:53] Yeah.

[37:54] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[37:55] Yeah.

[37:55] And they go,

[37:56] yeah,

[37:56] I played one of the,

[37:57] one of the battle bots.

[37:58] Yeah,

[37:58] of course.

[37:59] Yeah.

[37:59] Yeah,

Dan McCoy

[37:59] dope.

[38:00] Sure.

[38:00] You have any sexually transmitted diseases.

[38:02] Were you in the Phantom Menace?

[38:04] Those are the two questions

[38:05] I always have to ask.

Elliott Kalan

[38:07] Misa will say

[38:07] whatever it takes

[38:08] to get you into this bedroom.

Dan McCoy

[38:10] Well,

[38:11] it seems like you were

[38:12] in the Phantom Menace.

[38:13] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[38:14] I don't know why.

[38:15] Yeah.

[38:16] So the,

[38:16] so the next morning

[38:17] they decide,

[38:18] you know what?

[38:19] Venice drools.

[38:20] Tuscany rules.

[38:21] Let's drive straight to Tuscany

[38:22] because we,

[38:24] we've already used up this city

[38:25] and they just drive

[38:27] through the countryside.

Stuart Wellington

[38:28] I do love this sequence,

[38:29] because at no point

[38:31] they're driving,

[38:32] do you see another car

[38:33] on the road?

[38:34] No.

[38:34] They'll drive through empty towns.

[38:36] It is like a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

[38:39] Yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[38:39] this is the 28 days later of Italy

[38:41] as far as these,

[38:42] these ladies are concerned.

[38:43] And I,

[38:43] again,

[38:44] that would be a great turn

[38:45] for this movie to take.

[38:46] It's like Night of the Comet

[38:47] or something

[38:47] where for whatever reason

[38:48] they have slept through

[38:49] the end of the world

[38:50] and now they don't realize it

[38:51] and they're still on this

[38:52] Bachelorette trip

[38:52] and zombies are showing up.

[38:54] There's this character

[38:55] who shows up

[38:55] where Jane Fonda

[38:56] assumes it's a stripper

[38:57] but it's just a cop.

[38:58] What if it was a zombie

[38:59] and she assumed

[39:00] it was a zombie-themed stripper?

[39:01] Guys,

[39:02] would that be even funnier?

[39:03] But we'll get to that.

[39:04] We'll get to that.

Stuart Wellington

[39:04] Even funnier

[39:05] because this might be

[39:06] the funniest thing

[39:06] I've ever seen.

[39:07] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[39:08] So they're driving,

[39:09] it's set to Italian language,

[39:10] Kenny Loggins music,

[39:11] so you know this movie's great.

[39:13] You know exactly

[39:13] who the audience is for it.

[39:15] And Mary,

[39:15] which one?

Stuart Wellington

[39:16] I'm alright from Caddyshack?

Elliott Kalan

[39:17] No, no,

[39:18] it's the like,

[39:19] what I want,

[39:19] bump, bump,

[39:20] ba-da,

[39:21] you know that one.

[39:22] So that's Kenny Loggins, right?

[39:24] No, that's Hall & Oates.

[39:25] Oh, it's Hall & Oates?

[39:26] Sorry,

[39:26] it's Italian language Hall & Oates.

[39:27] I don't care.

[39:28] I don't like any of that stuff, guys.

[39:29] So I apologize to Mr. Loggins,

[39:31] to Mr. Hall,

[39:32] and Mr. Oates.

Dan McCoy

[39:33] You have to start liking it.

Elliott Kalan

[39:35] Guys,

[39:35] I know that I'll be too old

[39:37] when I start listening to Steely Dan

[39:38] and that'll be my entry point

[39:39] to those songs.

[39:41] So Mary,

[39:43] I apologize,

[39:43] it's Italian language Hall & Oates.

[39:45] Or as they're called there,

[39:46] Hall & Oates.

[39:47] Oh no,

[39:47] Hall & Oates?

[39:49] What's the answer in Italian?

[39:50] I think E,

[39:51] Hall & Oates,

[39:52] yeah.

[39:52] Et is French,

[39:53] that's right.

[39:53] So Mary sees Johnny,

[39:55] has texted her,

[39:56] oh no,

[39:56] this is going to show up

[39:57] on my iPad at home.

[39:58] My husband will see it.

[39:59] He's going to have

[40:00] another heart attack.

[40:01] And the other ladies

[40:02] give her a tough love speech.

[40:03] They literally say,

[40:04] okay,

[40:04] tough love.

[40:05] And this is again,

[40:06] one of many speeches

[40:07] that they will give

[40:07] throughout the movie

[40:08] to each other

[40:08] where they start,

[40:09] okay,

[40:09] tough love.

[40:10] I don't remember this

[40:11] for the first movie.

[40:11] Is this a thing

[40:12] that they did?

[40:13] Or are they introducing it now

[40:14] as if it's always been

[40:14] one of their things?

Stuart Wellington

[40:15] I like it when friends

[40:17] give each other tough love.

[40:18] Yeah.

[40:19] No,

[40:19] but just literally saying,

[40:20] okay,

[40:20] tough love.

[40:21] That's the thing

[40:22] that happened before.

[40:24] You guys should give me

[40:24] tough love sometimes

[40:25] instead of just

[40:26] soft love all the time.

[40:27] It's just the idea

Elliott Kalan

[40:27] that you can say tough love

[40:29] and then whatever you say

[40:30] after that cannot be taken

[40:31] in an effect.

[40:32] You can't be offended at.

Dan McCoy

[40:33] Yeah.

[40:33] When you say it,

[40:34] it sounds like

[40:35] you're asking for a spanking.

[40:39] Secondly,

[40:40] I think the question

[40:40] is just like,

[40:41] was this a thing

[40:42] that was established

[40:42] as a thing that they did?

Elliott Kalan

[40:44] And I don't remember.

[40:45] I don't think it was,

[40:45] but I don't remember.

[40:46] Maybe it was.

[40:46] Anyway,

[40:47] the ladies reveal,

[40:48] so they get a flat tire.

[40:49] They say give her tough love.

[40:50] They say,

[40:50] your fear of your husband's death

[40:52] is driving you apart.

[40:53] You're not letting your husband live

[40:54] and it's hurting your marriage.

[40:55] And they get a flat tire,

[40:57] night falls.

[40:58] And the ladies reveal to Jane,

[41:00] we have to get to Tuscany

[41:01] because Don Johnson

[41:02] is waiting for you there.

[41:03] We arranged it

[41:04] so you could be married

[41:05] as a surprise in Tuscany.

[41:07] Yeah,

[41:07] this is awful.

[41:08] And if I was Jane Fonda,

[41:10] my reaction would be,

[41:11] fuck you.

[41:12] What are you doing?

[41:13] So you're going to spring

[41:14] my own wedding on me

[41:15] as a surprise?

[41:16] What kind of friends are you?

[41:17] But instead,

[41:18] she's like,

[41:18] but this flat tire

[41:20] is a bad omen.

[41:21] Maybe that universe is saying

[41:22] I shouldn't get married

[41:23] and a cop shows up to help.

[41:24] Jane Fonda assumes

[41:25] it's a stripper

[41:26] because he's attractive.

[41:28] And where else,

[41:29] and what better way

[41:30] to arrange having a stripper

[41:31] show up

[41:31] than to be at a random

[41:33] latitude and longitudinal spot

[41:35] in the middle

[41:35] of the Italian countryside?

[41:37] Does she think that they

[41:38] planned the flat tire

[41:39] She thinks her friends

[41:39] are that good,

[41:40] you know?

[41:40] Then dropped a pin

[41:41] and said to the stripper,

[41:42] come to this pin.

[41:43] I hope you're within

[41:44] an hour of this spot.

Dan McCoy

[41:45] That is,

[41:46] all of that is not

[41:47] entirely implausible.

[41:49] What bothers me

[41:50] about this scene

[41:51] He's set up like

[41:51] a Wile E. Coyote trap.

[41:52] is how Jane Fonda

[41:54] persists in like

[41:56] fondling him

[41:58] and not believing

[41:59] no matter how many times

[42:00] everyone else is like

[42:01] no, no, no

[42:02] that's a real cop.

[42:03] Like,

[42:03] fuck you movie.

[42:05] This,

[42:05] this,

[42:06] this bullshit.

Elliott Kalan

[42:07] It is one of those

[42:08] farce moments

[42:09] where a character

[42:09] does something stupid

[42:11] because the movie

[42:12] is gonna think it's funny.

[42:13] But anyway,

[42:13] they get thrown in jail.

[42:14] In jail they each

[42:15] give each other

[42:16] tough love speeches.

[42:17] The next morning

[42:17] the police chief

[42:18] of Venice shows up.

[42:19] I guess he has

[42:20] jurisdiction in Tuscany.

[42:21] He heard the ladies

[42:22] were there

[42:22] and he decided to go.

[42:23] Or maybe he's the police chief

[42:24] of all of Rome

[42:25] and he just stops

[42:26] at town after town

[42:27] on his rounds.

[42:28] Like,

[42:28] why is he there?

[42:29] Why would it,

[42:29] they'd be like,

[42:30] oh yeah,

[42:31] we heard you were,

[42:31] you're the guy

[42:32] who put in the report

[42:33] about four old ladies

[42:34] missing their luggage.

[42:35] I think we've got

[42:35] the old ladies

[42:36] you're looking for.

[42:37] Come to Tuscany

[42:37] overnight.

[42:38] But anyway.

[42:39] he has a,

[42:39] he has a spoiler alert.

[42:41] Oh actually,

[42:42] I forgot.

[42:43] There's a reason he's there.

[42:44] They found Diane's

[42:45] husband's ashes

[42:45] and he's returning them.

[42:46] That's what it is.

[42:47] I don't know how he knows

[42:47] that he's,

[42:48] that they're there.

[42:49] But he's returning the ashes.

[42:50] She probably put like

Dan McCoy

[42:51] one of those like finders

[42:52] in the ashes.

[42:53] Yeah,

[42:53] he dropped an air tag

Elliott Kalan

[42:55] in her bag.

[42:56] There's a low jack

[42:56] on the ashes

[42:57] and on them.

[43:00] It's just much like,

[43:01] so what I heard,

[43:02] so my family,

[43:02] some family members of mine,

[43:03] not my immediate family,

[43:05] but my relatives of mine,

[43:06] they went on a trip

[43:07] to Dubai

[43:08] on a vacation.

[43:09] And apparently

[43:10] when they got there,

[43:10] the Dubai government

[43:11] was,

[43:11] customs,

[43:12] they were like,

[43:13] so here are the chips

[43:14] to put in your phones

[43:15] so that you can use them

[43:16] in Dubai

[43:16] and we can track you.

[43:17] And they were like,

[43:18] uh,

[43:18] wait a minute,

[43:19] what?

[43:19] So maybe this is like that.

[43:20] And when they arrived in Italy,

[43:21] the Italian government

[43:22] just tracks every,

[43:23] every suspicious group

[43:24] of old ladies

[43:24] that shows up.

[43:26] The,

Dan McCoy

[43:27] Well,

[43:27] they're looking for that

[43:28] infernal French criminal,

[43:29] Lupin,

[43:30] who has been seen

[43:32] around the countryside.

Elliott Kalan

[43:35] And they,

[43:35] and they think one of them,

[43:36] one of these four

[43:37] might be Lupin.

[43:38] He's a master of disguise,

[43:39] Elliot.

Stuart Wellington

[43:39] Not Lupin III,

[43:41] the Japanese animated guy,

[43:43] right?

Dan McCoy

[43:43] No,

[43:44] not that one.

[43:44] But he's great.

[43:45] The first one.

[43:46] His grandfather,

[43:47] the first Lupin.

[43:48] He's immortal.

Elliott Kalan

[43:49] Yeah,

[43:49] the rabbit,

[43:50] as they call him.

[43:51] So the next morning,

[43:52] the police chief,

[43:54] he shows up.

[43:55] Candace Bergen gives him

[43:56] a tough love speech

[43:57] so that he will

[43:58] free them from jail.

[43:59] And you know what?

[44:00] They've got to get to Tuscany

[44:01] in like 15 minutes.

[44:03] There's only one way

[44:03] to get there.

[44:04] Police chopper.

[44:05] Learjet.

[44:06] No.

[44:06] No,

[44:07] he flies them there

[44:07] in a police chopper.

[44:10] Seven league boots.

[44:13] They have to fold the map.

[44:16] Yeah.

[44:17] A tesseract.

[44:18] Thankfully,

[44:18] there's a wrinkle in time

[44:19] that they can use

[44:20] to get there.

[44:22] And Mrs. What

[44:23] and Mrs. Who

[44:23] and Mrs. Which

[44:24] are there to find it

[44:25] to take them right away.

[44:28] On the way,

[44:29] they stop through

[44:29] Aunt Beast's realm

[44:31] of darkness.

[44:32] But anyway,

[44:33] on the way,

[44:33] he gives Diane Keaton

[44:34] permission to scatter

[44:35] her husband's ashes

[44:36] and she accidentally

[44:36] drops the whole urn

[44:37] because she's a real klutz.

[44:39] And we don't see it

[44:40] land on an Italian person's head

[44:42] and kill them.

[44:43] But maybe that's what happens.

[44:44] Yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[44:45] you expected somebody

[44:45] to be sitting in an outdoor cafe

[44:47] and be like,

[44:48] yeah,

[44:48] I'd like some Parmesan cheese

[44:49] and then all the ashes

[44:50] to land on it.

[44:51] They're like,

[44:52] oh,

[44:52] that's too much,

[44:53] but I'll like it anyway.

Elliott Kalan

[44:54] They're like,

[44:54] yummy.

Stuart Wellington

[44:55] Oh,

[44:55] delicious.

[44:56] It's smoky.

Elliott Kalan

[44:57] I refuse to pay extra

[44:58] for the black truffle shavings.

[45:00] Then you want to get it.

[45:02] And then the ashes fall

[45:03] and they go,

[45:03] the joke's on you.

[45:04] Free black truffle shavings.

[45:06] Mmm,

[45:07] oh,

[45:07] it tastes like human.

[45:09] Yeah.

[45:10] Did you say

[45:10] it tastes like human?

[45:11] No,

[45:12] like human,

[45:12] like human ashes.

[45:13] How do you know

[45:14] what that tastes like?

[45:15] It's a long story.

[45:16] Anyway.

[45:17] You remember that movie,

[45:18] Alive?

[45:20] That was a you?

[45:21] No,

[45:21] but after I watched it,

[45:22] I really wanted to know

[45:23] what it was like.

Dan McCoy

[45:26] I chartered a plane

[45:27] with my five most delicious

[45:29] looking friends.

Elliott Kalan

[45:30] Mm-hmm.

[45:31] I was,

[45:31] despite all my efforts,

[45:32] it never crashed.

[45:34] Anyway,

[45:34] it's a funny story,

[45:35] but I was on a girls'

[45:36] high school soccer team

[45:37] and well,

[45:37] long story short,

[45:39] we're all cannibals now.

Stuart Wellington

[45:40] I guess that's kind of funny.

[45:41] I mean,

[45:41] the book club joke was,

[45:43] book club?

[45:46] There's no book club?

Elliott Kalan

[45:48] In our book club episode,

[45:50] I love it.

[45:50] Yeah,

[45:51] and so they,

[45:52] some,

[45:53] this is the moment I think,

[45:53] Dan,

[45:54] maybe you had the same reaction

[45:55] I did,

[45:55] which is,

[45:55] yeah,

[45:55] they're at the hotel

[45:56] where the wedding

[45:56] is taking place

[45:57] and I looked at the runtime

[45:58] and saw there were still

[45:59] 30 minutes left in the movie.

Dan McCoy

[46:01] Fucking crazy.

[46:02] I was like,

[46:02] what else in this plotless movie,

[46:05] what needs to be resolved?

Elliott Kalan

[46:06] What could possibly happen?

[46:08] Well,

[46:09] the excitable wedding planner

[46:10] tells them the wedding is all ready.

[46:12] Andy Garcia's even there

[46:13] with the dress Diane Keaton wore

[46:15] at the wedding dress store

[46:17] and she gets to wear it.

[46:18] Jane Fonda's nervous.

[46:19] She feels sick.

[46:20] What if this wedding

[46:20] shouldn't happen?

[46:21] Which,

Elliott Kalan

[46:21] by the way,

[46:22] hold on.

Dan McCoy

[46:23] It is,

[46:23] like,

[46:23] we can't pass over the fact

[46:24] that it is wild

[46:25] that Diane Keaton

[46:26] is wearing this wedding dress

[46:28] to someone else's wedding.

[46:31] Well,

Elliott Kalan

[46:31] it's wild until you see

[46:33] the turn of a bounce

[46:33] that happened.

[46:34] Yeah,

Dan McCoy

[46:34] but unless she,

[46:36] she's a precog,

[46:37] this is a strange decision

[46:39] that she has made.

[46:39] Anyway.

[46:40] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[46:40] they're breaking all the rules.

[46:41] This is her friend's

[46:42] first marriage

[46:43] at the age of 80,

[46:44] you know,

[46:45] this is,

[46:46] and that should have been

[46:46] the tip off.

[46:47] At the beginning,

[46:47] when she says,

[46:48] how does a 70-year-old

[46:50] woman get married?

[46:51] You should have known

[46:51] Jane Fonda's not getting

[46:52] married in this

[46:52] because Jane Fonda,

[46:53] I'm sorry,

[46:54] Jane,

[46:54] you should never reveal

[46:55] a woman's age,

[46:55] but she's not 70.

[46:56] Like,

[46:56] there's not,

[46:57] you know,

[46:57] she was in 80 for Brady.

[46:58] We know she's in her 80s.

[46:59] It's almost like Jane Fonda

[47:00] doesn't think we watch

[47:01] all of her movies

[47:02] all the time.

[47:03] Yeah,

[47:03] exactly.

[47:04] Mr. Policeman,

[47:05] I gave you all the clues

[47:06] to understand

[47:06] Jane Fonda's true age.

[47:08] They're in the title.

[47:09] Yeah.

[47:10] So,

[47:10] Jane Fonda's nervous,

[47:12] she's sick.

[47:13] Now,

[47:13] Diane Keaton has to give her

[47:14] a talk about not being afraid,

[47:15] just go with love,

[47:16] et cetera.

[47:17] Don Johnson looks great.

[47:19] Yeah,

[47:19] Don Johnson looks great,

[47:20] but the priest is missing.

[47:22] How can they get married

[47:23] without a priest?

[47:24] Oh,

[47:24] no,

[47:25] oh,

[47:25] no.

[47:25] Wedding's over.

Stuart Wellington

[47:26] We need to have somebody

[47:27] who is ordained

[47:28] and legally allowed

[47:29] to marry people in Italy.

[47:31] Unfortunately,

[47:32] we don't have that.

Elliott Kalan

[47:32] So,

[47:33] Candace Bergen steps in

[47:34] to say she'll perform

[47:34] the ceremony,

[47:35] which I was like,

[47:36] you are an American judge.

[47:38] Can you just step in

[47:39] and perform a marriage

[47:40] in Italy?

[47:41] And also,

[47:41] did they get a license

[47:43] or a permit?

[47:43] I don't know how it works

[47:44] in Italy.

[47:44] Maybe in Italy

Dan McCoy

[47:45] it's more loosey-goosey,

[47:46] but.

[47:47] Double those objections

[47:49] to what is about to happen,

[47:50] but.

Elliott Kalan

[47:51] Yeah,

[47:51] and so I only know

[47:52] one person

[47:53] who ever got married in Italy.

[47:54] I meant to ask her

[47:55] ahead of time

[47:56] what process they had to go to.

[47:57] I forgot,

[47:58] so I apologize, guys.

[47:58] I didn't do my due diligence.

[48:00] It's okay.

[48:00] But apparently,

[48:01] you can just step in

[48:02] as a judge

[48:02] and just perform the ceremony.

[48:04] It doesn't matter.

[48:04] Does she have jurisdiction?

[48:05] It doesn't matter.

[48:06] It's a book club.

[48:06] They make their own rules.

[48:07] Their luggage gets stolen.

[48:08] They don't care.

[48:09] The police fly them around

[48:10] and let them dump urns

[48:11] onto people's heads.

[48:12] Like,

[48:13] it's,

[48:13] whatever.

[48:14] These ladies rule Italy.

[48:16] So,

[48:16] that's when,

[48:17] but the wedding hasn't started yet.

[48:18] Craig T. Nelson calls Mary

[48:20] and is like,

[48:21] oh,

[48:21] so this guy

[48:21] texts you these pictures

[48:23] I can explain.

[48:24] She doesn't have to.

[48:25] He's at the wedding too.

[48:26] He showed up.

[48:28] It's amazing.

Dan McCoy

[48:28] Did he bring Dauber with him?

[48:30] Yeah,

[48:31] he doesn't go anywhere

[48:32] without Dauber.

[48:33] Yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[48:33] has to.

[48:35] And this is where,

[48:36] I thought this movie

[48:36] is going to do something

[48:37] that's kind of cheesy

[48:37] but sweet,

[48:38] but they don't do it.

[48:39] She goes,

[48:39] I wish I could just

[48:41] snap my fingers

[48:42] and you would be here.

[48:43] And I want him to say,

[48:44] go ahead,

[48:44] snap your fingers.

[48:45] And then she would snap them

[48:45] and he would show up.

[48:46] I thought that would have been

[48:47] like cheesy but sweet

[48:48] but instead he goes,

[48:50] Don't you think the flowers

[48:51] are a little bit too much?

[48:52] Maybe there's one flower too much

[48:54] and he shows up

[48:55] with a flower for her

[48:56] and I was like,

[48:56] that doesn't make any fucking sense.

[48:59] It's,

[48:59] anyway,

[49:00] I didn't like it.

[49:00] They missed a real opportunity there.

Stuart Wellington

[49:02] He's the one who did it too.

[49:03] He should have gone back

[49:04] to rewrites for that one.

[49:05] Yeah,

[49:05] exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[49:06] He didn't care.

[49:07] No one cares.

[49:07] No one cares about Book Club

[49:08] the next chapter

[49:09] and why should they?

[49:09] To be honest,

[49:10] again,

[49:10] they're putting the amount of effort

[49:11] into this that it deserves.

[49:13] During the ceremony,

[49:14] Jane Fonda,

[49:14] she gives Don Johnson

[49:15] a whole speech about

[49:17] she never thought

[49:17] she would get married

[49:18] but now she's in love with him

[49:19] and she's got to let love go.

[49:20] Then he gives a speech back to her

[49:22] about how he never wants

[49:23] to hold her back.

[49:24] He never wants to trap her

[49:25] in a marriage.

[49:26] You know what?

[49:26] What he loves about her

[49:27] is her freedom

[49:28] and her free-spiritedness.

[49:29] So he gets down on his knee

[49:30] and he proposes again.

[49:31] He goes,

[49:31] will you not marry me?

[49:33] And everyone laughs

[49:34] and Candace pronounces them

[49:35] not man and wife.

[49:36] And if I were a guest

[49:37] who flew all the way

[49:38] to Tuscany

[49:39] for this wedding

[49:39] and they decided,

[49:41] We'll just do a joke

[49:41] not married thing,

[49:42] I'd be so fucking pissed.

[49:44] I would be so mad.

[49:44] I would wait until

Stuart Wellington

[49:45] I see the reception, Elliot.

[49:48] If it was good

[49:49] and there was open bar,

[49:51] I'd be cool with it.

Elliott Kalan

[49:52] If they're like,

Dan McCoy

[49:53] hey, guess what?

[49:53] A lot of Negronis,

[49:54] a lot of...

Stuart Wellington

[49:55] If they get Captain Panaca

[49:56] to do fucking Gloria again.

[49:58] Cheeses and meats,

Dan McCoy

[50:00] you know?

[50:00] Yeah, you're right.

Elliott Kalan

[50:01] You're right.

[50:02] It's all stuff

[50:02] I can't get where I live.

[50:03] The United States of America,

[50:05] the home of everything.

Dan McCoy

[50:06] I, this,

[50:07] look,

[50:08] I understand

[50:09] like there are a lot

[50:10] of philosophical reasons

[50:12] not to get married

[50:14] and if that is

[50:15] your feeling about it,

[50:18] you know,

[50:19] I'm not gonna say

[50:20] like marriage is the root.

[50:21] I don't think that marriage

[50:22] is the root for everyone

[50:23] but there's a weird thing

[50:25] that happens in movies

[50:26] sometimes where like

[50:27] all it is

[50:29] is like,

[50:30] oh, you know,

[50:31] like I just don't,

[50:32] like they just like

[50:33] feel weird about marriage

[50:34] like or like

[50:35] they don't want to be like

[50:36] pinned down

[50:37] and yet

[50:38] like they're making

[50:39] still kind of a lifelong

[50:41] commitment to one another

[50:42] and in the context

[50:44] of a movie

[50:45] like when it's not

[50:46] for like

[50:47] that kind of philosophical reason

[50:48] it always sort of annoys me.

[50:50] I'm just like,

[50:50] just get married.

[50:52] Like you're,

[50:52] you're getting old.

[50:54] Like make sure

[50:55] that you can get

[50:56] into the hospital

[50:57] and see one another.

[50:58] Well, I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[50:59] well, that's the thing.

[50:59] I mean, at this point

[51:00] they should get married

[51:01] for exactly just that reason

[51:02] so that they can make

[51:03] medical decisions

[51:04] about each other.

[51:04] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[51:06] Like, I don't know.

[51:07] This idea of like,

[51:08] oh, I'm still

[51:10] such a free spirit

[51:11] but we're still

[51:11] going to be together

[51:12] forever.

Elliott Kalan

[51:14] I mean,

[51:14] but it means that

[51:15] every day

[51:16] they are making a choice

[51:17] deliberately to stay together.

[51:18] Yeah.

[51:18] They're not just

[51:19] following momentum.

[51:20] They're not just doing it

[51:21] because they're legally bound.

[51:22] They're making that choice

[51:23] every day

[51:24] and they don't have

[51:25] that many days left

[51:25] as Jane Fonda

[51:26] keeps saying.

[51:27] Yeah.

[51:27] So there's a,

[51:29] the,

[51:30] there's a,

[51:31] I mean,

[51:31] there's a fair number

[51:32] of jokes about how

[51:33] they all think

[51:34] they're going to die soon

[51:35] and they're not going

[51:36] to be married for long.

[51:37] Like they,

[51:38] they're,

[51:38] they're very open

[51:39] with Jane Fonda

[51:39] about like,

[51:40] you got to do it now

[51:41] because you're going

[51:41] to be dead soon.

[51:42] And maybe that's

[51:43] the dark heart

[51:44] of book club.

[51:45] Anyway,

[51:45] Dan,

[51:46] don't worry.

[51:47] Don't worry.

[51:48] This,

[51:48] this,

[51:48] the whole.

Stuart Wellington

[51:49] I can't believe

[51:49] we went all this way

[51:50] and we don't get

[51:51] a single fucking wedding.

[51:52] What is going on?

Elliott Kalan

[51:53] Stuart,

[51:53] don't get mad

[51:54] because the holy,

[51:54] solemn covenant

[51:55] of marriage

[51:56] will claim

[51:56] two victims

[51:57] this day.

[51:57] just not the victims

[51:59] you thought

[51:59] because Andy Garcia

[52:01] in the laziest

[52:02] possible way

[52:03] pulls Diane Keaton

[52:03] aside and is like,

[52:04] hey,

[52:04] let's get married,

[52:05] babe.

[52:05] And then Candace Bergen

[52:06] again,

[52:07] the laziest way

[52:07] marries them.

[52:08] They don't even know.

[52:08] He's like,

[52:09] bro,

[52:09] can I have that ring?

[52:11] Yeah.

[52:11] Bro,

[52:12] if you're not going

[52:12] to use those ring,

[52:13] hand them to me.

[52:13] Jams it on Diane's finger.

[52:15] Candace is like,

[52:16] you doing this?

[52:16] And they're like,

[52:17] deaf.

[52:18] And then they do it.

[52:19] And this is the moment

Dan McCoy

[52:20] in which I'm like,

[52:21] you need a fucking

[52:22] wedding license.

[52:24] Like anyone who's

[52:25] been married knows

[52:25] that there's a lot

[52:26] of hoops

[52:27] you have to go through.

[52:28] Well,

Dan McCoy

[52:28] and even on top of that,

Elliott Kalan

[52:29] it was established

[52:29] in book club

[52:30] that Diane Keaton

[52:30] has grown children.

[52:32] And she's like,

[52:33] eh,

[52:33] they don't need

[52:33] to be here for this

[52:34] unless they showed up

[52:35] for my best friend's

[52:36] last minute wedding

[52:37] in Italy,

[52:38] which seems like

[52:38] a big ask of your children

[52:39] for them to attend that.

[52:42] So she's like,

[52:43] I don't care.

[52:44] I'm doing it.

[52:44] They get married.

[52:46] They drive off

[52:46] in the just married car.

[52:48] It turns out

[52:49] in this big twist,

[52:49] an M. Night Shyamalan-esque twist

[52:51] that it was Diane Keaton

[52:52] talking about herself

[52:53] in the VO.

[52:55] And Diane Keaton

[52:55] runs out of the car

[52:56] to give her friends

[52:56] one final hug.

[52:58] And then it's

[52:58] off to the credits

[52:59] as what plays again?

[53:01] You guessed it.

[53:02] God damn it.

[53:03] Mambo Italiano.

[53:04] We have to hear it again.

Dan McCoy

[53:05] Were you able to see

[53:06] the credits?

[53:06] Because on Wikipedia

[53:07] or IMDb,

[53:09] somewhere it told me

[53:10] that the credits

[53:11] had a bunch of

[53:12] behind-the-scenes shots

[53:14] that I actually

[53:15] kind of wanted to see.

[53:17] But I think I watched

[53:19] this on ECOC.

[53:22] Whatever it was,

[53:23] immediately cut

[53:24] the credits off.

[53:24] There was not even

[53:25] an option

[53:26] to watch the credits.

[53:27] And if it had been

[53:29] a movie other than

[53:30] Book Club,

[53:30] the next chapter,

[53:31] that would have

[53:32] made me very angry.

Stuart Wellington

[53:33] It was interesting.

[53:34] My streaming service

[53:35] also,

[53:36] it cut the movie

[53:38] off the moment

[53:38] the credits

[53:39] started playing.

[53:39] But I think

[53:40] that was user error.

Elliott Kalan

[53:42] So I did see

[53:43] the credits.

[53:44] And yes,

[53:44] next to the credits,

[53:45] it does show

[53:46] just photographs

[53:47] of them making

[53:49] the movie.

[53:49] But it's not

[53:50] interesting.

[53:50] It's like they're

[53:51] like vacation photos.

[53:52] It's like everyone

[53:52] posing,

[53:53] everyone having

[53:53] a great time.

[53:54] I wanted to see

[53:55] Ted Danson show up.

[53:56] I heard that Ted Danson

[53:57] was in there.

[53:57] There is a photo

[53:58] of Ted Danson there.

[53:59] Him with Mary.

[54:00] Is he dancing?

Dan McCoy

[54:01] No, he is not dancing.

Elliott Kalan

[54:04] It's life.

[54:05] Honestly,

[54:05] if Ted Danson,

[54:07] Danson,

[54:07] tonight,

[54:08] was a show

[54:09] that was going up,

[54:10] I'd go see it

[54:11] for sure.

[54:11] He danced a lot

[54:13] in Body Heat.

[54:15] I mean,

[54:15] if you call that,

[54:16] I mean,

[54:16] Little Dancing.

[54:17] Little Tap Dancing.

[54:18] It does a little bit

[54:19] of like shuffling,

[54:20] but it's not a number.

[54:21] It's like a big dance

[54:22] number or something

[54:23] like that.

[54:25] Maybe I'm wrong.

[54:26] Maybe Becker

[54:27] is full of musical numbers.

[54:28] More dancing than you imagine.

[54:29] More dancing than I'd imagine

[54:30] from a secondary role

[54:31] in Body Heat.

[54:34] Not the character

[54:34] I expect to do

[54:35] the dancing in Body Heat.

[54:37] But yes,

[54:37] so he shows up.

[54:38] And to be honest,

[54:38] seeing Ted Danson

[54:39] in one of those pictures

[54:39] was the most exciting

[54:40] thing in the movie.

[54:42] But the,

[54:43] it just,

[54:44] it's one of those,

[54:44] they want to show you

[54:45] how much fun they had

[54:46] making the movie,

[54:47] which I don't,

[54:47] as you know,

[54:48] I'm a big killjoy.

[54:49] I don't like my professionals

[54:50] to have fun.

[54:51] And seeing that,

[54:51] it's just like they're like,

[54:52] look at all the fun we had.

[54:53] You weren't there.

[54:54] Instead,

[54:55] you watched the movie we made,

[54:56] which is not very good.

[54:58] And so,

[54:58] it felt like they were

[54:59] rubbing my nose

[55:00] in how much fun

[55:00] they had on this trip.

Dan McCoy

[55:01] Let's get into that

[55:02] with Final Judgments,

[55:04] whether this is a good,

[55:05] bad movie,

[55:06] a bad,

[55:06] bad movie,

[55:07] or a movie

[55:07] you kind of liked.

[55:09] I'm going to say,

[55:11] off the bat,

[55:12] the original Book Club,

[55:14] I was a little soft on it.

[55:16] I was surprised.

[55:17] I was like,

[55:19] Not great,

[55:20] but I enjoyed myself.

[55:22] I had a good time

[55:23] at Book Club.

[55:24] It actually

[55:24] made me emotional

[55:25] once or twice.

[55:27] Good to see

[55:28] all these people.

[55:31] This movie,

[55:32] I can't bring myself

[55:33] to hate it.

[55:34] Like,

Dan McCoy

[55:35] I still,

[55:35] these are still people,

[55:37] performers that I love.

[55:38] There is a charm

[55:39] in seeing them

[55:40] just like,

[55:41] shuffle around

[55:42] making these like,

[55:44] bad jokes

[55:45] they've been fed

[55:45] and putting as much

[55:47] professionalism

[55:48] and spin on them

[55:48] as they can.

[55:49] Mm-hmm.

[55:50] But,

[55:51] it is so

[55:53] little.

[55:55] Like,

[55:55] what this movie is

[55:56] at its core.

[55:57] There's a basic

[55:58] nothingness to this film

[55:59] that prevents me

[56:01] from saying,

[56:01] I kind of liked it.

[56:02] I will say it is

[56:03] bad,

[56:04] but I don't

[56:04] dislike it necessarily.

Stuart Wellington

[56:06] Yeah,

[56:07] this is a bad,

[56:07] bad movie

[56:07] that I'm not mad at.

[56:09] I like all these ladies

[56:11] but,

[56:12] I mean,

[56:13] there's nothing there.

[56:14] This is barely a movie.

[56:15] This is like,

[56:16] if you left this on

[56:17] for your pets to watch,

[56:18] your pets would get bored.

Elliott Kalan

[56:21] Yeah,

[56:22] it's a bad,

[56:23] bad movie.

[56:23] There's not enough there

[56:24] to get to hate.

[56:25] You know,

[56:25] there's not enough

[56:26] substance to hate.

[56:27] But,

[56:27] and again,

[56:28] yeah,

[56:28] these leads are super charming.

[56:30] They're great.

[56:30] They're legends.

[56:32] But,

Elliott Kalan

[56:32] if that's,

Stuart Wellington

[56:32] I guess that's our only

[56:33] alternative to giant

[56:34] IP blockbusters,

[56:36] right,

[56:36] Elliot?

[56:36] Well,

Elliott Kalan

[56:36] that's the thing.

[56:37] Right now,

[56:37] it feels like

[56:37] there are two kinds

[56:38] of movies that are made

[56:39] are giant IP

[56:41] tentpole movies

[56:42] and this,

[56:43] basically,

[56:43] and movies that are

[56:44] explicitly aimed

[56:45] at the older audience

[56:47] that is not interested

[56:48] in superheroes

[56:49] or,

[56:51] 80s cartoons.

[56:52] And that's why,

Stuart Wellington

[56:53] and that's probably why

[56:54] for the most part,

[56:55] like,

[56:55] for a movie star

[56:57] to carry a movie,

[56:58] they're almost always

[56:59] over 40 at this point,

Elliott Kalan

[57:02] right?

[57:02] Well,

[57:02] I mean,

[57:02] that's partly,

[57:03] you could also say

[57:04] that's a result

[57:04] of the movie industry

[57:06] forgetting how to build stars

[57:07] and prioritizing,

[57:09] like we're saying,

[57:10] IP over humans.

[57:11] And so,

[57:12] it no longer knows that.

[57:13] So,

Elliott Kalan

[57:14] it's,

[57:15] I mean,

[57:15] there was,

[57:15] I'm not gonna lie,

[57:16] guys,

[57:16] there was a little part

[57:17] of me that was

[57:19] really depressed

[57:19] when I saw the trailer

[57:20] for Wonka

[57:21] or Willy Wonka,

[57:22] whatever it's called,

[57:23] and I was like,

[57:23] oh,

[57:23] Timothy Chalamet,

[57:24] there was something

[57:24] special about you.

[57:25] And now that I've seen

[57:26] you in this role,

[57:27] a little bit of that

[57:28] specialness has gone away.

[57:29] You know,

[57:30] like,

[57:30] you don't think he'd be

Stuart Wellington

[57:32] the best possible

[57:33] Willy Wonka?

Elliott Kalan

[57:34] I mean,

[57:34] not even just that,

[57:35] but I think he's just fodder

[57:36] for the machine now.

[57:37] You know,

[57:37] he's as opposed to someone

[57:38] who I've seen

[57:39] interesting things.

Dan McCoy

[57:40] I'll go into just that.

[57:42] Like,

[57:43] I've liked him

[57:43] in the past.

[57:45] I think he's talented.

[57:47] In Wonka,

[57:47] I'm like,

[57:48] this man is putting

[57:49] no spin

[57:51] on a character

[57:52] that is

[57:53] an imp of a man.

[57:55] Well,

Elliott Kalan

[57:55] we can talk about

[57:57] Wonka in more detail,

[57:58] but it's like,

[57:59] his performance style

[58:00] is wrong for that character.

[58:02] Yes.

[58:02] Unless it's the transformation

[58:03] of someone,

[58:04] because,

[58:05] which maybe it is,

[58:06] because his character,

[58:07] his performance style

[58:07] is a cool,

[58:08] kind of,

[58:09] very,

[58:10] quiet performance style,

[58:12] whereas Willy Wonka is,

[58:13] like you're saying,

[58:13] an imp of a man.

[58:14] Like he's,

[58:14] but maybe the movie

[58:15] is about how he finds

[58:16] his energy in Wilder.

[58:17] Yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[58:18] maybe he gets like

[58:18] bonked on the head

[58:19] by a coconut or something.

[58:20] But yeah,

[58:21] an Oompa Loompa

[58:21] throws a giant jelly bean

Elliott Kalan

[58:23] at him.

[58:23] It turns him into a madman.

[58:25] Bonked by a coconut.

[58:26] Yeah.

[58:27] So,

[58:27] book club,

[58:28] the next chapter,

[58:28] it is a sign of

[58:29] what's wrong in Hollywood

[58:30] right now,

[58:31] but not the way you think.

Dan McCoy

[58:32] Okay.

[58:33] Hey,

[58:33] we got some sponsors

[58:34] for this show.

[58:35] Don't try and claim

[58:36] we don't,

[58:37] because we do.

[58:38] It's one of them,

[58:39] Small's.

[58:40] Cat food has been

[58:40] the same forever.

[58:42] You know what?

[58:43] Let's try for cat food

[58:44] to move into the 21st century

[58:45] with rocket jets.

[58:48] Pew,

[58:49] pew,

[58:49] pew.

[58:49] Wait,

[58:50] no,

[58:50] that's not,

[58:50] that's not actually

[58:52] what it is.

[58:52] You know why

[58:53] you got to try Small's?

[58:54] Because it's protein packed.

[58:57] It's made with

[58:57] preservative-free ingredients

[58:58] and it's delivered

[59:00] right to your door.

[59:02] Small's works

[59:02] with leading cat nutritionists

[59:03] to create recipes

[59:04] that are exactly

[59:04] what your little furball

[59:06] craves and needs.

[59:08] After making the switch

[59:09] to Small's,

[59:10] 78% of cat owners

[59:11] reported their cats

[59:12] had shinier

[59:13] and softer fur

[59:14] and 90% reported

[59:16] overall health improvements.

[59:18] That's a big deal.

[59:20] You can try it risk-free.

[59:21] If your cat

[59:22] won't eat their food,

[59:24] they will refund you.

[59:26] Hey,

[59:27] as a man

[59:27] who has no children,

[59:29] unlike Elliot,

[59:31] all I got

[59:32] are these cats.

Elliott Kalan

[59:32] You have no children

[59:33] that are unlike Elliot

Dan McCoy

[59:34] and that all your children

[59:35] are like Elliot.

[59:35] All my children

[59:36] are Elliot clones.

[59:40] But,

[59:40] you know,

[59:41] I can't quite love them

[59:43] like I love

[59:43] these little furballs.

[59:44] So,

[59:45] I'm just saying,

[59:46] if you love

[59:47] your little furball,

[59:48] don't you want them

[59:49] to have good food?

[59:51] Not just like

[59:52] pellets of,

[59:54] grain and stuff

[59:55] they sweeped up

[59:55] from the abattoir floor?

[59:57] Boo!

[59:58] Yeah.

[59:59] What?

[59:59] Yeah,

[1:00:00] yeah,

[1:00:00] boo to that food.

[1:00:01] I'm booing that.

[1:00:01] I'm booing the alternate.

[1:00:02] Okay,

[1:00:02] I thought you were booing me.

[1:00:04] Higher quality ingredients

[1:00:05] mean a healthier

[1:00:06] and happier life

[1:00:06] for your kiddies.

[1:00:07] So,

[1:00:07] head to

[1:00:07] smalls.com

[1:00:08] slash flop

[1:00:09] and use promo code

[1:00:10] flop at checkout

[1:00:11] for 50% off

[1:00:12] your first order

[1:00:13] plus free shipping.

[1:00:15] That's the best offer

[1:00:16] you'll find,

[1:00:17] but you have to use

[1:00:17] our code

[1:00:18] flop

[1:00:19] for 50% off

[1:00:20] your first order.

[1:00:21] One last time,

[1:00:22] that is promo code

[1:00:23] flop

[1:00:23] 50% off

[1:00:25] your first order

[1:00:25] plus free shipping.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:27] And,

[1:00:28] I just want to make

[1:00:28] a short addendum

[1:00:29] you should get

[1:00:30] smalls for your

[1:00:31] little furball,

[1:00:31] but if your

[1:00:31] little furball

[1:00:32] is a mogwai,

[1:00:33] please don't feed

[1:00:33] them smalls

[1:00:34] after midnight.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:34] Yeah,

[1:00:35] that's important.

[1:00:36] We also have a

[1:00:37] j-j-jumbotron.

[1:00:39] That's right.

[1:00:40] We have a

[1:00:40] jumbotron

[1:00:41] and it reads

[1:00:42] like this.

[1:00:43] Puppet Masters

[1:00:44] slash Castle Freaks

[1:00:45] is a new podcast

[1:00:46] all about

[1:00:47] full moon features,

[1:00:48] Empire

[1:00:49] international films,

[1:00:50] and the direct-to-video

[1:00:51] horror boom

[1:00:52] of the 80s and 90s.

[1:00:54] Each week,

[1:00:55] Jared Hornbeck

[1:00:56] and Steve

[1:00:56] Guntley

[1:00:57] discuss a film

[1:00:58] from the

[1:00:59] full moon catalog

[1:01:00] with movies like

[1:01:01] Puppet Master,

[1:01:02] Head of the Family,

[1:01:04] Castle Freak,

[1:01:05] and many,

[1:01:06] many,

[1:01:07] many more.

[1:01:09] Equipped with a

[1:01:09] deep love and

[1:01:10] knowledge of

[1:01:11] Z-grade horror

[1:01:12] and featuring

[1:01:12] some amazing guests,

[1:01:16] is the perfect

[1:01:16] podcast for

[1:01:17] horror fans.

[1:01:18] So check out

[1:01:21] wherever you

[1:01:22] get your podcasts.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:24] Sounds like

[1:01:25] the perfect podcast

[1:01:25] for Stu.

[1:01:26] And now here's

[1:01:27] a podcast

[1:01:27] for you.

[1:01:28] Podcast.

[1:01:29] Because we've

[1:01:30] got another

[1:01:30] jumbotron.

[1:01:31] Do you love

[1:01:32] podcasts where

[1:01:32] people watch

[1:01:33] slash read

[1:01:34] something and

[1:01:35] then talk about

[1:01:35] it?

[1:01:36] Do you,

[1:01:36] like Stuart,

[1:01:37] love demonstrating

[1:01:38] your knowledge

[1:01:38] of James Joyce's

[1:01:39] Ulysses?

[1:01:40] Are you,

[1:01:41] like Dan and

[1:01:41] Elliot,

[1:01:42] intimidated by

[1:01:42] your friend's

[1:01:43] knowledge of

[1:01:43] Buck Mulligan

[1:01:44] and cool

[1:01:44] cigarette cases?

[1:01:46] Do you love

[1:01:46] the Virginia

[1:01:47] Wolf tangents

[1:01:48] in the Don't

[1:01:48] Worry Darling

[1:01:49] and Troll

[1:01:49] two episodes?

[1:01:50] If so,

[1:01:51] Tipsy Turvy

[1:01:51] Ulysses is

[1:01:52] for you.

[1:01:53] Three friends,

[1:01:54] Eric,

[1:01:54] Wendy,

[1:01:55] and Shinjani

[1:01:55] talk about

[1:01:56] the fun bits

[1:01:57] of Ulysses

[1:01:57] every other

[1:01:58] Friday.

[1:01:59] Find Tipsy

[1:02:00] Turvy Ulysses

[1:02:01] on Apple Podcasts

[1:02:02] or Spotify

[1:02:03] and subscribe.

[1:02:05] Hmm,

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:06] finally,

[1:02:06] somebody as

[1:02:07] well-read

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:08] as me.

[1:02:09] Something high

[1:02:09] class and

[1:02:10] literary.

[1:02:10] I mean,

[1:02:11] as far as I know,

[1:02:11] the only books

[1:02:12] you've read

[1:02:12] are Ulysses,

[1:02:13] Kane,

[1:02:14] and a bunch

[1:02:15] of Warhammer

[1:02:15] stuff,

[1:02:16] and Gene

[1:02:17] Wolf fantasy

[1:02:18] torture novels.

[1:02:18] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:19] Hey,

[1:02:19] guys,

[1:02:19] hey,

[1:02:20] listeners,

[1:02:20] just to give you

[1:02:21] a perfect example

[1:02:22] of what haters

[1:02:23] sound like.

[1:02:24] You just heard

[1:02:24] one.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:26] Yeah,

[1:02:26] if you need an

[1:02:27] example of haters.

[1:02:29] Hey,

[1:02:29] Websters.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:31] Hey,

[1:02:32] everybody.

[1:02:33] I wanted to

[1:02:33] make another

[1:02:34] promo announcement

[1:02:35] here.

[1:02:35] As of the

[1:02:36] recording of this

[1:02:36] episode,

[1:02:37] Dan and me,

[1:02:38] we're still on

[1:02:38] strike.

[1:02:39] We are contractually

[1:02:40] unable to make

[1:02:41] television right now

[1:02:42] unless we make

[1:02:43] television for

[1:02:45] ourselves,

[1:02:46] that is.

[1:02:47] Loophole.

[1:02:48] Loophole,

[1:02:48] loophole,

[1:02:49] loophole,

[1:02:49] air horn,

[1:02:50] loophole air horn.

[1:02:51] So we're going

[1:02:51] independent and

[1:02:52] hitting the online

[1:02:53] airwaves and

[1:02:54] dragging Stu

[1:02:55] along with us

[1:02:55] for Flop TV,

[1:02:57] a six-episode

[1:02:57] monthly,

[1:02:58] one-hour version

[1:02:59] of this very

[1:02:59] podcast,

[1:03:00] August through

[1:03:01] January,

[1:03:01] the first

[1:03:02] Saturday of

[1:03:02] every month,

[1:03:03] except for

[1:03:03] September when

[1:03:04] it's the second

[1:03:04] Saturday because

[1:03:05] of Labor Day.

[1:03:06] We'll be bringing

[1:03:06] you all new

[1:03:07] Flophouse comedy

[1:03:08] in an easily

[1:03:09] digestible,

[1:03:10] televisual form.

[1:03:11] We'll be doing

[1:03:11] new PowerPoint

[1:03:12] presentations.

[1:03:13] We'll be talking

[1:03:13] about some of

[1:03:14] the most requested

[1:03:14] and most legendary

[1:03:15] bad movies ever,

[1:03:17] all movies we have

[1:03:17] not talked about

[1:03:18] before on the show,

[1:03:19] and we'll be

[1:03:19] answering questions

[1:03:20] from you,

[1:03:20] the audience.

[1:03:21] We're kicking

[1:03:21] things off in

[1:03:22] August with

[1:03:22] Beastmaster 2

[1:03:23] through the

[1:03:24] portal of time,

[1:03:25] and then we'll

[1:03:25] be hitting

[1:03:25] questionable classics

[1:03:26] like Cool World

[1:03:27] over the top

[1:03:28] and Nuki,

[1:03:30] the second

[1:03:30] worst movie

[1:03:31] I've ever seen.

[1:03:33] Yeah, I know.

[1:03:33] Tell me about it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:34] Who wrote that

[1:03:35] down?

[1:03:35] I thought that

[1:03:36] was a goof.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:37] Oh, I said it.

[1:03:38] Now we have to

[1:03:38] do it.

[1:03:39] Are you busy

[1:03:40] during the live

[1:03:40] airing of the

[1:03:41] show?

[1:03:41] That's okay.

[1:03:42] Buying a ticket

[1:03:43] gets you access

[1:03:43] to the show's

[1:03:44] recording for

[1:03:44] two weeks

[1:03:45] after the

[1:03:46] original air

[1:03:46] date.

[1:03:47] Tickets are

[1:03:47] $7 each

[1:03:48] for individual

[1:03:48] shows,

[1:03:49] or you can

[1:03:49] buy a season

[1:03:50] pass for all

[1:03:51] six shows

[1:03:52] for $35.

[1:03:53] That's like

[1:03:53] getting a whole

[1:03:54] show for free.

[1:03:55] Do the math.

[1:03:56] I'm not lying.

[1:03:57] Just go to

[1:03:57] theflophouse.simpleticks.com

[1:04:00] and see the list

[1:04:01] of movies

[1:04:01] we'll be covering.

[1:04:02] Remember,

[1:04:03] that's theflophouse.simpleticks.com

[1:04:05] for our six-month

[1:04:06] Flock TV live series.

[1:04:09] I can't wait.

[1:04:10] Welcome home

[1:04:10] to the Flophouse.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:12] Is that our

[1:04:12] slogan?

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:14] Yeah.

[1:04:14] I'm just taking

[1:04:15] TV slogans.

[1:04:16] I don't like

[1:04:16] those people.

[1:04:17] I'm stealing

[1:04:17] their property

[1:04:18] the way they

[1:04:18] steal our

[1:04:19] property to

[1:04:19] explore.

[1:04:19] Yeah,

[1:04:20] that's true.

Jordan Morris

[1:04:25] I'm Jordan Morris.

[1:04:26] And I'm Jesse Thorne.

[1:04:27] On Jordan,

[1:04:27] Jesse Go,

[1:04:28] we make pure,

[1:04:29] delightful nonsense.

[1:04:30] We rope in

[1:04:31] awesome guests

[1:04:31] and bring them

[1:04:32] down to our

[1:04:33] level.

[1:04:33] We get stupid

[1:04:34] with Judy Greer.

S5

[1:04:35] My friend Molly

[1:04:35] and I call it

[1:04:36] having the space

[1:04:37] weirds.

[1:04:38] Patton Oswalt.

[1:04:39] Can I get a

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:39] Balrog burger

[1:04:40] and some

[1:04:41] Aragorn fries?

[1:04:42] Thank you.

Jordan Morris

[1:04:43] And Kumail Nanjiani.

[1:04:44] I've come back

[1:04:45] with cat toothbrushes,

[1:04:46] which is impossible

[1:04:47] to use.

[1:04:48] Come get stupider

[1:04:49] with us at

[1:04:49] MaximumFun.org.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:51] Look,

[1:04:51] your podcast app's

[1:04:52] already open.

[1:04:52] Just pull it out.

[1:04:53] Give Jordan Jesse

Jordan Morris

[1:04:54] Go a try.

[1:04:54] Being smart is hard.

[1:04:56] Be dumb instead.

S5

[1:04:59] Oh, Russ.

[1:05:00] Hey.

[1:05:00] Oh, I'm glad

[1:05:01] I found you in line.

Jordan Morris

[1:05:02] These clouds are

[1:05:03] really freaking me out.

S5

[1:05:04] I hate having to

[1:05:05] stand in line

[1:05:06] and boy,

[1:05:07] what a line.

Jordan Morris

[1:05:08] These giraffes

[1:05:08] do not smell good.

S5

[1:05:09] No, they do not

[1:05:10] and they have

[1:05:10] such short necks.

Jordan Morris

[1:05:11] But I'm hearing

[1:05:12] we need to get

[1:05:12] on this arc.

[1:05:13] We gotta get

S5

[1:05:13] on the arc.

[1:05:14] It is about to rain.

[1:05:15] God is about

[1:05:16] to destroy humanity.

[1:05:18] Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

[1:05:19] Are you Noah?

Jordan Morris

[1:05:20] Yeah, I know

[1:05:20] we look like humans

[1:05:21] but we're actually

[1:05:22] we're podcasters.

S5

[1:05:23] We are podcasters

[1:05:24] so it's different.

Jordan Morris

[1:05:25] Have you heard

[1:05:25] of Oh No, Ross and Carrie?

S5

[1:05:26] We investigate

[1:05:27] spirituality,

[1:05:28] claims of the paranormal,

[1:05:30] stuff like that.

Jordan Morris

[1:05:30] And you have a boat

[1:05:31] and say the world's

[1:05:32] gonna end so

[1:05:32] seem like something

[1:05:33] for us to check out.

S5

[1:05:33] We would love

[1:05:35] to be on the boat.

Jordan Morris

[1:05:36] We came two by two.

[1:05:37] What do you think?

[1:05:38] Oh No, Ross and Carrie

[1:05:39] available on

Dan McCoy

[1:05:39] MaximumFun.org.

[1:05:44] Speaking of

[1:05:45] exploiting content,

[1:05:46] let's do some

[1:05:48] letters from listeners.

[1:05:49] This one's from

[1:05:50] Jackie,

[1:05:51] last name withheld.

[1:05:52] Onassis.

[1:05:53] Who writes?

[1:05:55] Hiya, fellers.

[1:05:57] What's the most

[1:05:58] famous movie location

[1:05:59] you grew up near?

[1:06:00] Even though I lived

[1:06:01] close to tons

[1:06:02] of Revolutionary War

[1:06:03] and early colonial stuff,

[1:06:06] by far the most

[1:06:06] famous movie location

[1:06:07] was at our local mall.

[1:06:10] And not just any mall movie

[1:06:12] but the most famous

[1:06:13] mall movie,

[1:06:14] Paul Blart Mall Cop.

[1:06:16] We all aren't

[1:06:17] fortunate enough

[1:06:17] to grow up in the-

[1:06:18] I feel like

[1:06:18] Dawn of the Dead

[1:06:19] is a more famous

[1:06:20] mall movie.

[1:06:21] Sorry about that.

[1:06:24] I mean,

[1:06:25] I don't know.

[1:06:25] I don't know at this point.

[1:06:27] I mean,

[1:06:27] does it have mall in the title?

[1:06:28] You're more of an

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:28] observant report guy.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:30] We aren't all

[1:06:31] fortunate enough

[1:06:32] to grow up in

[1:06:33] the Big Apple

[1:06:34] or La La Land

[1:06:35] so recognizing

[1:06:36] a filming location

[1:06:37] can be a rare thrill.

[1:06:39] It was very exciting

[1:06:40] to see Kevin James

[1:06:41] segue past the Macy's

[1:06:42] that used to be

[1:06:43] a Jordan Marsh

[1:06:44] or how they made it seem

[1:06:45] like the Payless Shoes

[1:06:46] was next to the KB Toys

[1:06:48] when those aren't even

[1:06:49] on the same floor.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:50] It's like the bullet

[1:06:51] car chase all over again.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:53] Or that the CBS

[1:06:54] smells like mildew

[1:06:55] because it's next

[1:06:56] to the Rainforest Cafe.

[1:06:58] I'm sure it's a lot

[1:06:58] like when you guys

[1:06:59] see the Statue of Liberty

[1:07:00] and stuff.

[1:07:01] Anywho,

[1:07:03] what movie

[1:07:03] made you yell-

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:05] When they go past

[1:07:06] that store,

[1:07:06] Statue of Liberty

[1:07:07] and stuff,

[1:07:08] I was like,

[1:07:08] I know that store.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:10] What movie

[1:07:10] made you yell,

[1:07:11] hey,

[1:07:11] I know where that is.

[1:07:12] Thanks,

[1:07:13] Jackie,

[1:07:13] last name withheld.

[1:07:17] I grew up

[1:07:18] in Eureka,

[1:07:19] Illinois.

[1:07:20] Yeah.

[1:07:21] Not known

[1:07:22] for its big

[1:07:22] movie productions.

[1:07:24] Nope.

[1:07:25] Didn't they shoot

[1:07:25] a Ghostbusters thing?

[1:07:27] No,

[1:07:27] you're thinking

[1:07:28] of New York City

[1:07:28] where we're

[1:07:29] right now.

[1:07:31] It's possible-

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:32] They shot Book Club

[1:07:32] the next chapter there,

[1:07:33] right?

Dan McCoy

[1:07:34] No,

[1:07:34] that was in Italy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:36] It's possible-

Dan McCoy

[1:07:37] National Lampoon's

[1:07:38] European Vacation.

[1:07:39] That was,

[1:07:40] I don't know

[1:07:40] where that was shot.

[1:07:41] I mean,

[1:07:41] some of it

[1:07:42] was shot in Europe,

[1:07:43] I assume.

[1:07:43] I remember

[1:07:43] seeing Big Ben

[1:07:44] and such,

[1:07:45] but-

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:46] Didn't they shoot

[1:07:46] Mars Needs Mom?

Dan McCoy

[1:07:48] That's an animated film.

[1:07:50] I don't think

[1:07:51] they shot it.

[1:07:51] It's set in Eureka,

[1:07:52] right?

[1:07:53] No,

[1:07:53] can I just-

[1:07:55] I mean,

[1:07:56] it's possible

[1:07:56] that Peoria,

[1:07:57] Illinois,

[1:07:57] shows up in that

[1:07:58] in Jojo Dancer,

[1:08:00] Your Life is Calling

[1:08:01] the Richard Pryor

[1:08:02] pseudo-biopic

[1:08:03] since Pryor is from Peoria,

[1:08:05] but I've never seen it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:06] That's why his name

[1:08:07] is Pryor and Peoria

[1:08:08] sounds so similar.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:09] So,

[1:08:10] I don't have

[1:08:10] a good answer

[1:08:11] for where I grew up,

[1:08:13] but two notable things

[1:08:15] about,

[1:08:17] just in general,

[1:08:19] I remember seeing

[1:08:20] John Wick

[1:08:20] where a fight

[1:08:21] starts in a bunch

[1:08:23] of Russian baths

[1:08:24] and then goes

[1:08:25] upstairs to a club

[1:08:27] and I realized

[1:08:28] watching it,

[1:08:29] I'm like,

[1:08:29] oh,

[1:08:30] when I saw John Wick,

[1:08:31] I'm like,

[1:08:31] I was at both

[1:08:32] of those locations

[1:08:33] last weekend

[1:08:35] when I saw it.

[1:08:36] When you were

[1:08:37] fighting Hitman.

[1:08:39] No,

[1:08:40] I had gone

[1:08:40] to the Russian bath

[1:08:41] with my ex

[1:08:42] and then

[1:08:43] later that weekend

[1:08:45] was the

[1:08:46] WGA Awards

[1:08:48] which were

[1:08:48] at the Edison Ballroom

[1:08:49] and so

[1:08:50] it was this case

[1:08:51] where it's like,

[1:08:53] as Jackie says,

[1:08:54] I'm like,

[1:08:55] those things

[1:08:55] aren't connected

[1:08:56] at all.

[1:08:57] Just two different locations,

[1:08:59] magic of the movies.

[1:09:00] But I also remember

[1:09:01] I saw,

[1:09:02] just recently

[1:09:02] watched Past Lives

[1:09:03] and there's a scene

[1:09:05] that takes place

[1:09:06] in front of the carousel

[1:09:07] in Brooklyn Bridge Park

[1:09:09] and I was like,

[1:09:09] I was just sitting there.

[1:09:10] I was just sitting

[1:09:11] exactly where those

[1:09:12] characters are.

[1:09:14] But what do you guys

[1:09:14] have?

[1:09:15] Anything?

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:16] My hometown,

[1:09:17] Fort Wayne,

[1:09:18] Indiana,

[1:09:18] was featured

[1:09:20] prominently

[1:09:20] in the indie movies

[1:09:22] of director

[1:09:23] Neil Labute

[1:09:23] in the company

[1:09:25] and I believe

[1:09:26] opens with

[1:09:27] a scene

[1:09:28] in the Fort Wayne

[1:09:29] International Airport.

[1:09:30] I think it's called

[1:09:31] International

[1:09:31] because there are

[1:09:32] some Canadian flights.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:37] Because Indiana

[1:09:38] no longer,

[1:09:39] it has never considered

[1:09:41] Montana part of

[1:09:42] the United States.

[1:09:43] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:44] Yeah,

[1:09:45] it's in our state charter.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:47] I grew up

[1:09:48] in Milburn,

[1:09:49] New Jersey

[1:09:49] and I could say,

[1:09:50] like,

[1:09:51] there's a very

[1:09:52] well-respected

[1:09:53] regional theater there

[1:09:53] and a few productions

[1:09:54] there were

[1:09:55] filmed for great

[1:09:56] performances

[1:09:56] but I feel like

[1:09:57] that doesn't really

[1:09:58] count.

[1:09:59] Nope,

[1:09:59] it doesn't.

[1:10:00] And there's a scene

[1:10:00] in the movie

[1:10:01] Hair

[1:10:02] that's set in

[1:10:03] Short Hills

[1:10:04] and I think they

[1:10:04] shot in Short Hills

[1:10:05] which is a neighborhood

[1:10:05] in Milburn

[1:10:06] but I don't know

[1:10:07] if they did for sure.

[1:10:08] But the location

[1:10:09] growing up

[1:10:10] that people got

[1:10:11] the most excited about

[1:10:12] was there was

[1:10:13] a Meryl Streep

[1:10:13] Renee Zellweger movie

[1:10:14] called One True Thing

[1:10:15] that they shot

[1:10:16] in the next door town

[1:10:17] of Maplewood,

[1:10:18] New Jersey

[1:10:18] where we'd spent

[1:10:20] a lot of time

[1:10:20] and there used to be

[1:10:21] a diner there

[1:10:22] called the Maple Leaf

[1:10:22] that my family

[1:10:23] would eat in a lot

[1:10:23] and they shot part

[1:10:24] of the movie

[1:10:25] in that diner

[1:10:26] and for a long time

[1:10:27] there was a post-it note

[1:10:28] above the booth

[1:10:29] where the character sat

[1:10:30] that just said

[1:10:31] One True Thing booth.

[1:10:32] They didn't put a sign up,

[1:10:34] they didn't put a picture up

[1:10:34] from that scene,

[1:10:35] just a post-it note

[1:10:36] that said One True Thing booth

[1:10:38] that I assume

[1:10:38] fell down many times

[1:10:40] and eventually

[1:10:41] they redid the inside

[1:10:42] of the restaurant

[1:10:42] and they just never

[1:10:43] put the post-it note

[1:10:44] back up again.

[1:10:45] But the thing

[1:10:46] that really brings me back,

[1:10:47] so if I ever watched

[1:10:48] that movie again

[1:10:48] which I don't plan on it,

[1:10:50] that I would recognize that

[1:10:51] but there's two movies

[1:10:52] that were not about

[1:10:54] where I grew up

[1:10:54] but about places

[1:10:55] I spent a lot of time

[1:10:56] as a younger man

[1:10:57] that really hit me that way.

[1:10:58] One is the movie

[1:10:59] The Landlord,

[1:11:00] the great Hal Ashby movie

[1:11:01] starring Bo Bridges.

[1:11:03] It takes place

[1:11:04] in Park Slope, Brooklyn,

[1:11:06] a neighborhood

[1:11:06] I lived in for many years

[1:11:07] and there are buildings there

[1:11:09] that I recognize very well

[1:11:10] and I'm like,

[1:11:10] that's what that building

[1:11:11] used to be.

[1:11:12] Before it was an expensive

[1:11:13] yoga studio,

[1:11:14] it was a barbershop,

[1:11:15] like that kind of stuff.

[1:11:16] And seeing that neighborhood

[1:11:17] at a very different time

[1:11:18] in its history

[1:11:19] is exciting.

[1:11:19] But the movie,

[1:11:21] I have to admit,

[1:11:21] where I got the most thrill

[1:11:22] of seeing a place

[1:11:23] that I knew well

[1:11:24] and it's a dumb answer,

[1:11:26] there's a really dumb movie

[1:11:27] called Robot and the Family

[1:11:28] about where...

[1:11:31] Well nigh unwatchable,

[1:11:33] I would call.

[1:11:33] It's a terrible movie.

[1:11:35] It does have what,

[1:11:37] John Ruse Davies is in it,

[1:11:38] right?

[1:11:39] And...

[1:11:40] I just remember that robot

Dan McCoy

[1:11:41] doing a constant stream

[1:11:44] of chatter.

[1:11:45] None of it funny,

[1:11:46] all of it irritating.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:47] And the main star is...

[1:11:50] Why am I forgetting his name?

[1:11:51] You know,

[1:11:51] from like Sopranos

[1:11:54] and Matrix

[1:11:54] and stuff like that.

[1:11:55] Joey Pants?

[1:11:56] Joey Pants,

[1:11:57] thank you.

[1:11:57] Joey Pants is like

[1:11:59] an inventor who invents a robot

[1:12:01] and so much of that movie

[1:12:02] was shot...

[1:12:03] Oh, from Bound?

[1:12:04] Yes, from Bound.

[1:12:04] Thank you.

[1:12:05] Joey Pants,

[1:12:05] the owner of the house

[1:12:06] that I stayed in once

[1:12:07] as an Airbnb

[1:12:08] in Long Island

[1:12:09] and the dog next door

[1:12:10] kept barking constantly

[1:12:11] and none of us could sleep.

[1:12:13] The...

[1:12:14] And we didn't know

[1:12:16] it was his house

[1:12:16] when we Airbnb'd it.

[1:12:18] You didn't open up

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:19] the closets

[1:12:20] and they're full of pants

[1:12:21] and you're like...

[1:12:22] Oh!

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:23] Wait a minute.

[1:12:24] Only one person

[1:12:25] would have pants

[1:12:26] in their closet.

[1:12:27] That movie,

[1:12:28] so much of it was shot

[1:12:29] on this one stretch

[1:12:30] of Broadway in Manhattan

[1:12:31] between like 14th Street

[1:12:32] and 12th or 11th Street

[1:12:34] where there was a bunch

[1:12:35] of antique shops.

[1:12:36] I think they're still there.

[1:12:37] And I used to walk

[1:12:38] that stretch

[1:12:39] almost every day,

[1:12:40] multiple times a day

[1:12:41] when I was a student

[1:12:41] at NYU

[1:12:42] going from my dorm

[1:12:43] on 14th Street

[1:12:44] to my classes

[1:12:45] at Washington Square

[1:12:47] wait a minute.

[1:12:48] I know that stretch

[1:12:49] of Broadway so well.

[1:12:50] Like I know

[1:12:50] each of those antique stores.

[1:12:52] I've walked by them

[1:12:52] so many times

[1:12:53] and it was the...

[1:12:53] I felt so dumb

[1:12:55] that I was watching

[1:12:55] this crappy low-budget movie

[1:12:58] oh my God.

[1:12:59] I know that stretch

[1:13:00] of Broadway.

[1:13:01] And it's like,

[1:13:01] yeah,

[1:13:02] it's a stretch of...

[1:13:03] A stretch of street

[1:13:04] in the biggest city

[1:13:04] in America.

[1:13:05] Like it's been filmed

[1:13:06] many times

[1:13:06] but that's the place

[1:13:07] where I was like,

[1:13:08] I can't believe

[1:13:08] this is in a movie.

[1:13:09] I know that stuff.

[1:13:11] So robot in the family.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:14] That's his recommendation

[1:13:15] this week.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:16] Yep.

[1:13:17] So this one

[1:13:18] is from Parker Bennett,

[1:13:20] our friend of the pod.

[1:13:21] Oh, yeah.

[1:13:21] Okay, yeah.

[1:13:22] Super Mario Bros. writer

[1:13:23] Parker Bennett.

[1:13:24] Congrats on your

[1:13:24] big milestone, guys.

[1:13:25] I was delighted

[1:13:26] to hear your commentary

[1:13:27] on a movie

[1:13:27] that didn't really qualify

[1:13:28] as a flop

[1:13:29] except in my heart.

[1:13:31] Trust the floppers

[1:13:32] to always provide

[1:13:33] maximum fun.

[1:13:34] Your friend of the pod,

[1:13:35] Parker Bennett,

[1:13:36] the guy who wrote

[1:13:37] the Super Mario Bros. movie

[1:13:38] that didn't make

[1:13:39] $1.34 billion.

[1:13:41] and is not

[1:13:42] at all bitter.

[1:13:43] So, like, look,

[1:13:45] this is the kind of value

[1:13:46] that we provide, guys.

[1:13:48] You know?

[1:13:48] What's that?

[1:13:49] Sometimes it's narrow casting.

[1:13:50] Sometimes it's just

[1:13:51] for the screenwriter

[1:13:52] of the Bob Hoskins

[1:13:52] Super Mario Bros. film.

[1:13:55] Oh, okay.

[1:13:55] To let him know

[1:13:56] that he is appreciated

[1:13:57] artistically

[1:13:58] even if financially,

[1:14:01] you know.

[1:14:01] That explains

[1:14:02] our Super Mario Bros.

[1:14:03] hit piece

[1:14:03] we put together.

[1:14:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:05] Yeah, yeah.

[1:14:05] And I'm gonna say,

[1:14:06] Parker,

[1:14:07] you know that

[1:14:08] if it makes you feel

[1:14:09] any better,

[1:14:09] you know that

[1:14:10] even if you had

[1:14:10] written this one,

[1:14:11] you wouldn't see

[1:14:11] a dime of residuals

[1:14:13] on it.

[1:14:13] Yeah, that's the truth.

[1:14:13] They've come up

[1:14:14] with so many

[1:14:14] accounting tricks.

[1:14:15] I'm constantly

[1:14:16] amazed by

[1:14:17] Ed Solomon's

[1:14:18] Twitter feed.

[1:14:19] Ed Solomon,

[1:14:19] the writer of

[1:14:20] Men in Black,

[1:14:20] among other things.

[1:14:21] He writes

[1:14:22] a lot about how

[1:14:23] Men in Black

[1:14:24] is still,

[1:14:25] every year,

[1:14:25] according to the studios,

[1:14:26] losing money.

[1:14:27] and so he has

[1:14:28] never seen

[1:14:28] residuals off of it.

[1:14:30] The movie that

[1:14:30] they made two sequels

[1:14:31] and then tried to

[1:14:32] expand the franchise

[1:14:33] with over a number

[1:14:34] of years,

[1:14:34] never made money.

[1:14:35] It loses money

[1:14:36] every year.

[1:14:36] Even after all of

[1:14:37] these years when

[1:14:38] presumably all of

[1:14:39] the costs

[1:14:40] associated with the film.

[1:14:42] Yeah.

[1:14:42] I once,

[1:14:43] I read,

[1:14:43] I don't know if

[1:14:44] this is true,

[1:14:44] I read that one

[1:14:45] thing that studios

[1:14:45] would do is

[1:14:46] make DVDs of the

[1:14:48] movie,

[1:14:48] store them,

[1:14:49] and then destroy

[1:14:50] them.

[1:14:50] And that way they

[1:14:51] can charge to the

[1:14:51] production the DVD

[1:14:53] manufacturing,

[1:14:54] storage fees,

[1:14:55] and destruction fees.

[1:14:56] And it's all a way

[1:14:56] to,

[1:14:57] just not pay the

[1:14:58] people who worked

[1:14:58] on the movie money.

[1:14:59] So Parker,

[1:14:59] don't worry,

[1:15:00] they'd come up

[1:15:00] with all sorts

[1:15:00] of accounting tricks

[1:15:01] to make sure

[1:15:01] you didn't see

[1:15:02] a dime of that

[1:15:03] one billion dollars.

[1:15:04] Does that make

[1:15:05] you feel better?

Dan McCoy

[1:15:07] Sure makes me feel

[1:15:08] something.

[1:15:08] How do you become

[1:15:09] a studio?

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:11] How do you become

[1:15:11] a studio?

[1:15:11] Well,

[1:15:12] here's the thing.

[1:15:13] You have money,

[1:15:14] and so that money

[1:15:15] makes you think

[1:15:15] you're a genius

[1:15:16] who knows more

[1:15:17] than everybody else

[1:15:17] in the world

[1:15:18] and that you can

[1:15:18] do everything.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:19] And that's it.

[1:15:19] Hey,

[1:15:20] speaking of gripes

[1:15:21] with the entertainment

[1:15:22] system,

[1:15:23] Elliot,

[1:15:24] do you want to

[1:15:25] maybe feel

[1:15:26] here's a little

[1:15:27] explanation about

[1:15:28] what we're doing

[1:15:28] with recommendations?

[1:15:30] If this is what

[1:15:31] we're officially

[1:15:31] doing,

[1:15:32] then yes.

[1:15:32] I think we are.

[1:15:33] I think we are.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:34] Well,

[1:15:34] during this time,

[1:15:35] it's a guideline

[1:15:37] that writers are not

[1:15:38] allowed to promote

[1:15:40] things that they've

[1:15:40] worked on,

[1:15:41] and I know that

[1:15:42] SAG-AFTRA has

[1:15:42] made it official

[1:15:43] that,

[1:15:43] in their guidelines,

[1:15:44] that actors are not

[1:15:45] allowed to promote

[1:15:46] things they've worked

[1:15:47] on,

[1:15:47] and they want

[1:15:47] influencers and

[1:15:48] people online

[1:15:49] who are part

[1:15:49] of SAG-AFTRA

[1:15:50] to not even

[1:15:51] promote anything

[1:15:52] coming out from

[1:15:52] the AMPTP members,

[1:15:54] even stuff that

[1:15:55] they just like as a

[1:15:56] fan.

[1:15:56] And I think that

[1:15:57] the Flophouse,

[1:15:58] we're kind of

[1:15:59] riding that gray

[1:15:59] line a little bit

[1:16:00] since we just

[1:16:00] talked about

[1:16:01] the book club

[1:16:02] the next chapter

[1:16:02] for an hour,

[1:16:03] although I don't

[1:16:04] know that we

[1:16:04] made it sound

[1:16:05] that appealing.

[1:16:06] But we would

[1:16:07] also like to

[1:16:07] follow in this.

[1:16:08] We don't want

[1:16:08] to be directing

[1:16:09] people towards

[1:16:09] stuff that's

[1:16:11] being made right

[1:16:12] now,

[1:16:12] not because we

[1:16:12] want to hurt

[1:16:13] the people who

[1:16:13] made those

[1:16:14] things.

[1:16:14] But why

[1:16:18] are we doing

[1:16:18] advertising work

[1:16:19] or promotion

[1:16:20] for these

[1:16:21] conglomerates

[1:16:22] and companies

[1:16:23] that are

[1:16:24] stiffing us

[1:16:25] and not

[1:16:25] treating the

[1:16:25] people who

[1:16:26] made those

[1:16:26] things properly?

[1:16:27] And so we're

[1:16:28] going to do

[1:16:28] our best,

[1:16:28] we may slip

[1:16:29] up sometimes,

[1:16:29] we're going to

[1:16:30] do our best

[1:16:30] to recommend

[1:16:30] things that

[1:16:31] will not be

[1:16:33] driving business

[1:16:33] to, say,

[1:16:35] movies that are

[1:16:35] in the theaters

[1:16:36] And we'll

[1:16:37] figure out what

[1:16:37] those restrictions

[1:16:38] are as we

[1:16:39] do them.

[1:16:40] But I'm

[1:16:40] going to follow

[1:16:41] them as

[1:16:42] strictly as I

[1:16:42] can.

[1:16:43] So you guys

[1:16:43] want to hear

[1:16:43] what my

[1:16:43] recommendation

[1:16:44] is to it?

[1:16:44] Yeah,

[1:16:44] I recommend

[1:16:45] something.

[1:16:45] Do it.

[1:16:46] To be honest,

[1:16:47] I was going

[1:16:47] this anyway

[1:16:48] because I

[1:16:49] just saw it

[1:16:49] recently for

[1:16:50] the first

[1:16:50] time and

[1:16:51] I was really

[1:16:52] blown away

[1:16:53] by it.

[1:16:53] It's something

[1:16:54] that I was

[1:16:54] not familiar

[1:16:54] with at all

[1:16:55] and I

[1:16:55] stumbled on

[1:16:56] it and

[1:16:56] maybe the

[1:16:56] listeners are

[1:16:57] very familiar

[1:16:57] with it.

[1:16:58] It's called

[1:16:58] Blown Away.

[1:16:59] Anyway,

[1:17:00] it's called,

[1:17:00] yeah.

[1:17:01] But this is a,

[1:17:02] I want to

[1:17:03] recommend a

[1:17:04] short from

[1:17:05] 1976.

[1:17:06] This is a movie

[1:17:06] that's only about

[1:17:06] 12 minutes long.

[1:17:07] It was directed

[1:17:08] by a British

[1:17:09] filmmaker named

[1:17:10] John Smith and

[1:17:10] it's called

[1:17:11] The Girl

[1:17:11] Chewing Gum

[1:17:12] and it is a

[1:17:13] movie in which

[1:17:14] you are watching

[1:17:15] a street in

[1:17:16] London.

[1:17:17] Much of it is a

[1:17:17] locked off shot

[1:17:18] of this street

[1:17:18] and there's a

[1:17:19] voice off camera

[1:17:20] that appears to

[1:17:21] be directing

[1:17:22] everyone who

[1:17:23] appears on the

[1:17:23] street into what

[1:17:24] they're doing.

[1:17:24] I want that

[1:17:25] truck to move

[1:17:26] forward a little

[1:17:26] bit.

[1:17:26] Now stop.

[1:17:27] Now keep

[1:17:27] moving forward.

[1:17:28] Now the man

[1:17:29] with the black

[1:17:29] jacket will walk

[1:17:30] through.

[1:17:30] Now the girl

[1:17:31] chewing gum is

[1:17:32] going to walk

[1:17:32] through and it

[1:17:33] becomes clearer

[1:17:33] and clearer as

[1:17:34] you watch it

[1:17:35] that the person

[1:17:36] who you assumed

[1:17:37] had complete

[1:17:38] directorial authority

[1:17:39] and control over

[1:17:39] this is really

[1:17:41] just describing

[1:17:42] the things that

[1:17:42] are happening

[1:17:43] and it begins

[1:17:44] to call even

[1:17:44] more and more

[1:17:45] attention to

[1:17:45] kind of the

[1:17:46] artificiality of

[1:17:47] what seemed at

[1:17:47] first to be a

[1:17:48] very straightforward

[1:17:48] situation.

[1:17:49] And anyway,

[1:17:50] I thought it was

[1:17:51] really cool.

[1:17:52] Like I said,

[1:17:53] I stumbled on it

[1:17:53] and it's only

[1:17:55] 12 minutes long.

[1:17:56] It doesn't take a

[1:17:56] lot of time to

[1:17:56] watch it,

[1:17:57] but I found it

[1:17:57] really fascinating

[1:17:58] and it's called

[1:17:58] The Girl Chewing Gum

[1:18:00] and you know,

[1:18:00] I'm not,

[1:18:01] I don't know much

[1:18:01] about avant-garde

[1:18:02] short film.

[1:18:03] I know about

[1:18:04] Meshes of the

[1:18:04] Afternoon and

[1:18:05] that's about it.

[1:18:05] So this is opening

[1:18:06] an exciting new

[1:18:07] world of film to

[1:18:08] me because every

[1:18:09] time I think I

[1:18:10] know a lot about

[1:18:10] movies,

[1:18:11] I watch a movie

[1:18:12] that shows me,

[1:18:13] I don't know

[1:18:13] that much about

[1:18:14] movies.

[1:18:14] There's always a

[1:18:14] larger world out

[1:18:15] there and that's

[1:18:16] very exciting.

[1:18:16] The Girl Chewing Gum

[1:18:17] directed by John

[1:18:18] Smith.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:18] You know what I'm

[1:18:19] going to

[1:18:19] recommend?

[1:18:19] I'm going to

[1:18:20] swerve hard away

[1:18:21] from recommending

[1:18:22] even any

[1:18:23] entertainment.

[1:18:24] recommend,

[1:18:24] here's the thing,

[1:18:25] pain,

[1:18:26] hammocks.

[1:18:27] Oh,

[1:18:28] the opposite.

[1:18:28] Hammocks.

[1:18:29] So a couple

[1:18:31] years back when

[1:18:34] unlike now I was

[1:18:38] not on strike,

[1:18:39] I had a backyard

[1:18:41] and I on a whim

[1:18:44] put on my Amazon

[1:18:46] wish list for like

[1:18:48] Christmas or

[1:18:49] whatever, a hammock.

[1:18:51] Not like a hammock

[1:18:52] you got to string up

[1:18:53] between trees,

[1:18:54] but a hammock that

[1:18:54] comes with a frame,

[1:18:57] you can put it on

[1:18:58] the frame,

[1:18:59] self-contained

[1:19:00] hammock.

[1:19:01] All of the work

[1:19:02] has been taken out

[1:19:04] of hammocks,

[1:19:04] guys.

[1:19:04] You don't have to

[1:19:05] tie a thing around

[1:19:07] a tree and worry

[1:19:08] whether you've done

[1:19:09] it right.

[1:19:10] You just put it

[1:19:11] over a frame,

[1:19:12] you got yourself

[1:19:13] a hammock.

[1:19:13] You don't have to

Dan McCoy

[1:19:13] worry that a

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:13] cartoon dog is

[1:19:14] going to run by

[1:19:15] chasing a cartoon

[1:19:15] cat and spin you

[1:19:16] around in it.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:17] Now I no longer

[1:19:18] have a backyard,

[1:19:20] but I do have a

[1:19:21] small balcony and

[1:19:22] you know what?

[1:19:23] That hammock fits

[1:19:23] out there just

[1:19:25] right.

[1:19:25] Been too hot

[1:19:26] lately during the

[1:19:27] summer to spend

[1:19:28] any time in a

[1:19:29] hammock.

[1:19:29] I've been too

[1:19:30] busy to spend

[1:19:31] any time in a

[1:19:32] hammock,

[1:19:32] but when it's

[1:19:33] cooler and I get

[1:19:34] the chance,

[1:19:35] nothing like a

[1:19:36] little hammock

[1:19:36] time.

[1:19:37] So that's my

[1:19:38] recommendation.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:39] Stop,

[1:19:40] hammock time.

[1:19:41] I was going to

[1:19:41] say that hit

[1:19:42] rap song from

[1:19:42] MC Hammock,

[1:19:43] right?

[1:19:43] Yeah.

[1:19:44] Hammock time.

[1:19:45] Yep.

[1:19:45] Please hammock,

[1:19:46] don't relax

[1:19:46] them.

[1:19:47] Yep.

[1:19:49] Dan,

[1:19:49] I'll tell you,

[1:19:49] I used to have

[1:19:50] a hammock like

[1:19:50] that,

[1:19:51] super relaxing.

[1:19:52] That's a great

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:52] recommendation.

[1:19:53] I always find

[1:19:55] hammocks a little

[1:19:56] bit stressful.

[1:19:56] Maybe I'm doing

[1:19:57] it wrong.

[1:19:58] I mean,

[1:19:59] getting into

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:59] them and getting

[1:20:00] out of them I

[1:20:01] find stressful,

[1:20:01] but once you

[1:20:02] overcome that

[1:20:03] challenge,

[1:20:04] then it's just

[1:20:05] great.

[1:20:05] It's like you

[1:20:05] got to earn it.

[1:20:06] It's like religion.

[1:20:07] You got to do the

[1:20:07] work to earn the

[1:20:08] salvation.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:09] Yeah.

[1:20:09] So do you just

[1:20:10] jump in all at

[1:20:11] once or do you

[1:20:12] roll in?

[1:20:13] I wouldn't

[1:20:13] recommend jumping

Dan McCoy

[1:20:14] in all at once.

[1:20:15] No,

[1:20:15] you just sort of,

[1:20:16] you sit down

[1:20:16] sort of normally.

[1:20:18] Okay,

[1:20:18] normal style.

[1:20:20] I was taught

[1:20:21] that you actually,

[1:20:22] it's better to lay

[1:20:23] kind of across the

[1:20:24] hammock than it is

[1:20:25] to fully sort of

[1:20:27] put yourself in the

[1:20:28] hammock so you're

[1:20:30] like fully parallel

[1:20:31] to the hammock.

[1:20:32] have to watch,

[1:20:33] have to watch

[1:20:34] some YouTube

[1:20:34] videos.

[1:20:35] There's a lot

[1:20:36] of ins and

[1:20:37] outs.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:38] You're going to

[1:20:38] want to take a

[1:20:39] class at the

[1:20:40] learning annex

[1:20:40] about this.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:42] Man,

[1:20:43] so what do I

[1:20:45] recommend here?

[1:20:48] I could recommend

[1:20:49] shirts without

[1:20:50] sleeves.

[1:20:51] I think that's a

[1:20:52] good move,

[1:20:53] especially when it's

[1:20:53] hot out.

[1:20:54] I'm wearing one

[1:20:55] Man,

[1:20:55] I'm wearing one

[1:20:57] That would work.

[1:20:58] Look at those

[1:20:58] armpits.

[1:20:59] Look at my

[1:20:59] armpits.

[1:21:01] The audience

[1:21:02] can't see them,

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:03] but there they

[1:21:03] are.

[1:21:03] Just saying,

[1:21:04] hello,

[1:21:05] here we are.

[1:21:06] Can't hide us.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:07] You just buy

[1:21:08] a regular shirt

[1:21:09] and then you

[1:21:09] just cut them

[1:21:10] off with scissors.

[1:21:12] If you've been

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:14] working out enough,

[1:21:15] then you can just

[1:21:15] flex and the

[1:21:16] sleeves will tear

[1:21:17] off.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:18] But wait,

[1:21:19] I can't do that.

[1:21:20] Is Elliot saying

[1:21:21] I don't work out

[1:21:22] enough?

[1:21:22] Do I have to go

[1:21:23] to the gym today?

[1:21:26] Are you making

[1:21:27] my brain broken?

Dan McCoy

[1:21:28] I'm still unclear.

[1:21:30] Is that your

[1:21:30] recommendation?

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:31] Yeah,

[1:21:32] I guess,

[1:21:32] sure,

[1:21:33] my recommendation

[1:21:33] is going to be

[1:21:34] tank tops.

[1:21:34] The thing about

[1:21:35] a tank top,

[1:21:37] it's all gender,

[1:21:38] it's great,

[1:21:39] recommend it.

[1:21:40] You don't have

[1:21:41] to buy a specific

[1:21:42] tank top,

[1:21:42] you can buy a

[1:21:43] t-shirt and just

[1:21:44] cut the sleeves

[1:21:44] off.

[1:21:45] I would recommend

[1:21:46] measuring about

[1:21:46] halfway between

[1:21:47] the shoulder seam

[1:21:49] and the neck

[1:21:49] seam.

[1:21:50] That's just,

[1:21:51] that's the style

[1:21:52] I like.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:53] And now,

[1:21:54] by recommending

[1:21:54] tank tops,

[1:21:55] you are not

[1:21:55] in any way

[1:21:56] recommending

[1:21:58] militarism or

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:59] support for

[1:22:00] violent,

[1:22:02] aggressive action?

[1:22:03] Nope.

[1:22:04] I'm recommending

[1:22:05] maybe find

[1:22:05] another use for

[1:22:07] an article of

[1:22:08] clothing you

[1:22:09] already own

[1:22:09] that maybe

[1:22:10] hasn't seen a

[1:22:10] lot of use

[1:22:11] lately.

[1:22:11] Maybe have

[1:22:12] some old

[1:22:12] t-shirts you

[1:22:12] don't need

[1:22:13] anymore.

[1:22:14] So it's not

[1:22:14] a top for

[1:22:15] an actual

[1:22:15] tank?

[1:22:16] No.

[1:22:16] Although,

[1:22:18] I mean,

[1:22:18] I guess if

[1:22:18] you have a

[1:22:19] tank,

[1:22:19] you might

[1:22:19] as well put

[1:22:20] a top on

[1:22:20] it.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:22] Like the

[1:22:22] old saying

[1:22:23] said.

[1:22:25] Well,

[1:22:26] you know,

[1:22:27] just another

[1:22:27] reason to

[1:22:28] hope for a

[1:22:29] rapid end

[1:22:30] to the

[1:22:32] strike if

[1:22:33] you happen

[1:22:33] to hate

[1:22:34] the new

[1:22:34] direction

[1:22:34] that

[1:22:35] recommendations

[1:22:35] are going.

[1:22:36] If you

[1:22:36] love it,

[1:22:38] still,

[1:22:38] let's hope

[1:22:39] for the

[1:22:39] strike's

[1:22:39] end.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:40] I'm amazed

[1:22:41] that I was

[1:22:42] like,

[1:22:42] I'll outdo

[1:22:42] these guys.

[1:22:43] I'm going

[1:22:43] this British

[1:22:44] avant-garde

[1:22:45] student film

[1:22:45] in the

[1:22:46] 70s.

[1:22:46] And you're

[1:22:46] like,

[1:22:47] no,

[1:22:47] we're going

[1:22:47] to outdo

[1:22:47] you.

[1:22:48] We're not

[1:22:48] even recommending

[1:22:49] movies anymore.

[1:22:50] Yeah.

[1:22:50] We're breaking.

[1:22:51] We're barely

[1:22:52] even recommending

[1:22:52] things.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:53] Yeah.

[1:22:53] We're just

[1:22:54] talking about

[1:22:54] a couple

[1:22:55] things we

[1:22:55] enjoy.

[1:22:56] Yeah.

[1:22:57] Speaking of

[1:22:58] things to

[1:22:58] enjoy,

[1:22:59] why not go

[1:22:59] over to

[1:23:00] MaximumFun.org?

[1:23:01] They got a

[1:23:01] whole bunch

[1:23:02] of things to

[1:23:03] enjoy,

[1:23:03] podcasts primarily.

[1:23:05] Although,

[1:23:05] if you like

[1:23:06] merch,

[1:23:07] you know,

[1:23:07] you can get

[1:23:07] merch.

[1:23:09] You want a

[1:23:09] shirt to cut

[1:23:09] the sleeves

[1:23:10] off of?

[1:23:10] Yeah,

[1:23:11] you have.

[1:23:11] They sell

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:12] a Flophouse

[1:23:13] tank top,

[1:23:13] so you

[1:23:13] don't even

[1:23:14] need to

[1:23:14] cut the

[1:23:14] sleeves off

[1:23:15] if you

[1:23:15] don't want

[1:23:15] to.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:16] This may

[1:23:16] have changed

[1:23:16] by the time

[1:23:17] you hear

[1:23:18] this,

[1:23:18] but if you

[1:23:18] can't find

[1:23:19] Flophouse,

[1:23:20] we've discovered

[1:23:21] that it's under

[1:23:21] T for the

[1:23:22] in the

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:23] MaxFun store.

[1:23:25] If you say

[1:23:26] organize items

[1:23:27] A to Z,

[1:23:28] go to the

[1:23:29] T section,

[1:23:29] because that's

[1:23:30] where the

[1:23:30] Flophouse is

[1:23:31] located.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:31] For T-shirts

[1:23:32] comma Flophouse.

[1:23:37] Also,

[1:23:37] thank you to

[1:23:38] Alex Smith,

[1:23:40] our producer.

[1:23:41] He goes by

[1:23:41] the name

[1:23:42] Howell Dottie

[1:23:43] on various

[1:23:43] socials.

[1:23:45] He does a

[1:23:45] lot of stuff.

[1:23:46] He does

[1:23:46] music,

[1:23:47] he does

[1:23:47] Twitch streams,

[1:23:49] he is a

[1:23:50] renaissance

[1:23:50] man.

[1:23:53] And that's

[1:23:53] basically it.

[1:23:54] I can see

[1:23:54] Elliot,

[1:23:55] wanting to

[1:23:55] say something

[1:23:56] about how

[1:23:56] he's living

[1:23:58] in the

[1:23:58] modern era

[1:23:59] maybe,

[1:24:00] he's not

[1:24:00] actually from

[1:24:01] the renaissance,

[1:24:02] but then he

[1:24:03] thought better

[1:24:03] of it.

[1:24:04] I was going

[1:24:05] to make fun

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:06] of the way

[1:24:07] you said

[1:24:07] renaissance,

[1:24:08] like there

[1:24:08] was a Z

[1:24:09] in it,

[1:24:09] like pizza,

[1:24:10] and I was

[1:24:10] like maybe

[1:24:11] that's how

[1:24:11] they say it

[1:24:11] in Italy.

[1:24:12] I don't

[1:24:12] know,

[1:24:12] I've never

[1:24:12] been there.

[1:24:13] But I

[1:24:13] did want

[1:24:13] to say

[1:24:14] also,

[1:24:14] remember

[1:24:14] we've

[1:24:15] got our

[1:24:15] series of

[1:24:15] live shows

[1:24:16] coming up.

[1:24:17] Go to

[1:24:17] theflophouse.

[1:24:19] simpletix.com

[1:24:20] to learn more

[1:24:20] and to buy

[1:24:21] tickets,

[1:24:22] or,

[1:24:22] if you

[1:24:23] or,

[1:24:23] and slash

[1:24:24] or,

[1:24:24] in addition

[1:24:25] to,

[1:24:25] if you want

[1:24:25] to do your

[1:24:26] part to help

[1:24:26] the writers

[1:24:26] and artists

[1:24:27] on strike,

[1:24:27] or you

[1:24:28] want to

[1:24:28] help anyone

[1:24:30] involved in

[1:24:30] the entertainment

[1:24:31] community who

[1:24:32] needs help,

[1:24:32] then

[1:24:32] entertainmentcommunity.org,

[1:24:34] the Entertainment

[1:24:34] Community Fund,

[1:24:36] is the place to

[1:24:36] donate.

[1:24:37] And there's

[1:24:37] another place

[1:24:37] I only found

[1:24:38] about recently,

[1:24:39] if you go

[1:24:39] to tusctogether.com,

[1:24:42] that's the Union

[1:24:43] Solidarity Fund,

[1:24:44] and that is for

[1:24:45] help for other

[1:24:46] unions,

[1:24:46] crew unions,

[1:24:47] beyond just

[1:24:48] actors,

[1:24:49] writers,

[1:24:49] directors.

[1:24:50] Everyone is

[1:24:51] being hurt

[1:24:52] by the

[1:24:53] AMPTP's

[1:24:54] complete

[1:24:55] dickish refusal

[1:24:56] to pay people

[1:24:57] properly,

[1:24:59] and donations

[1:24:59] to both of

[1:25:00] those areas

[1:25:00] will help

[1:25:01] people should

[1:25:02] they need

[1:25:02] that help,

[1:25:03] and they may

[1:25:03] need it.

[1:25:03] So thank you

[1:25:04] very much

[1:25:04] for your

[1:25:04] support.

[1:25:05] We appreciate

[1:25:05] it.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:06] And thank

[1:25:07] you for your

[1:25:07] support by

[1:25:08] listening to

[1:25:08] us,

[1:25:09] The Flophouse,

[1:25:10] which has

[1:25:10] just ended

[1:25:11] this episode.

[1:25:12] For The Flophouse,

[1:25:14] I have been

[1:25:14] Dan McCoy.

[1:25:16] Oh,

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:17] I'm Stuart

[1:25:18] Wellington.

[1:25:19] I'm Elliot

[1:25:19] Kalen,

[1:25:20] and I was

[1:25:20] not taken

[1:25:20] by surprise

[1:25:21] because as

[1:25:21] Dan mentioned,

[1:25:22] explained ahead,

[1:25:23] we're ending

[1:25:23] the episode

[1:25:24] now.

[1:25:24] I wouldn't

[1:25:24] have known,

[1:25:25] but he told

[1:25:25] me,

[1:25:26] and I

[1:25:26] appreciated it.

[1:25:27] Okay,

[1:25:28] bye!

Dan McCoy

[1:25:32] Sort of

[1:25:32] half-hearted,

[1:25:33] that one.

[1:25:34] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:43] Here's how it

[1:25:44] starts.

[1:25:45] Just do it.

[1:25:46] I can't believe

[1:25:47] you're putting me

[1:25:47] in the position

[1:25:48] of having to be

[1:25:48] like,

[1:25:49] yeah,

[1:25:49] let's just

[1:25:49] do it already,

[1:25:50] enough fucksing

[1:25:50] around.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:53] That's the

[1:25:53] trick I play.

[1:25:54] Okay,

[1:25:56] uh,

[1:25:57] okay,

[1:25:57] it starts

[1:25:57] like this.

[1:25:59] Maximum Fun,

Jordan Morris

[1:26:00] a worker-owned

[1:26:01] network of

[1:26:02] artist-owned

[1:26:03] shows,

[1:26:04] supported

[1:26:04] directly by

[1:26:05] you.

Ep. #401 - Book Club: The Next Chapter

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