FH Mini 92 - Auntie War

[0:00] Hello everybody. Welcome to another Flophouse Mini. That's a shorter, sometimes, episode

[0:10] of the Flophouse podcast. Now, normally on this podcast, we watch a bad movie, we talk

[0:15] about it. On the minis, we like to do whatever we think of, whatever we want. And often,

[0:22] that has to do with when the episode is coming out, as this one does. First, though, I want

[0:26] to introduce myself. My name is Elliot Kalin, and I'll be your master of ceremonies for

[0:32] today. That's how you will say it if you're pronouncing it wrong. Guys, I've been watching

[0:35] this Netflix show about prehistoric earth that Morgan Freeman is the narrator of, and

[0:39] he keeps saying cephalopod instead of cephalopod. And I'm like, maybe I've been saying it wrong

[0:44] all this time. It's from a Greek root, I assume.

[0:46] It carries so much authority, you know? Yeah. And every time he says it, my wife and I look

[0:50] to each other and go, cephalopod? So guys, who are your names? Who am I talking to about

[0:54] cephalopods? Who are your names? My name is Dan McCoy, and my name is Stuart Wellington.

[1:01] Dan and Stuart, thank you for joining me for today's mini, and thank you to the audience

[1:05] for joining me. Oh, and Nova, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[1:12] So guys, this episode, if I did my math correct, is being released on Veterans Day weekend. And I

[1:19] don't know if you know, Veterans Day was originally Armistice Day, which celebrated the end of World

[1:23] War I. I think it speaks volumes about some of the issues in American society, that a holiday

[1:28] celebrating the end of fighting was turned into a holiday honoring the act of having fought,

[1:33] the concept of fighting. This was originally an anti-war holiday. And I think all of, three of us

[1:39] are generally against wars. But how do we feel about it? Unless it's set in the grim darkness

[1:45] of the far future. Sure, of course. But even though we may be... Unless they're, yeah,

[1:49] or they're, yeah, the far future or the far past, Star War. Yeah, Dan's a big fan of Bride Wars.

[1:57] That's possible. Yeah, that's, yeah, you're right. There's a lot of wars out there that

[2:00] you guys like, Cola Wars and so forth. Storage Wars. Yeah, Storage Wars and what have you.

[2:05] But this was an anti-war holiday. And I know how you feel about wars now, but how do you feel about

[2:11] aunties? That's right. Today's game is called Anti-War, War of the Aunties, because aunts are

[2:16] a special kind of family member. They're like your mom, only not. They're like a weird mom.

[2:21] Oh, you're talking about aunts. Because I thought you were talking about the little insects.

[2:26] No, no, we're not talking about the little insects. We're talking about...

[2:28] Both. ...aunts.

[2:29] The pronunciations are perfectly... I mean, where I come from, we say aunts,

[2:34] but that's okay. Let me just put up my background. Oh, no, that's the insects. I'm so sorry, guys.

[2:38] For the listeners at home, you can't see. So guys, do either of you have aunts or aunts?

[2:43] What's your experience with aunts? Yeah, I have my Aunt Arlene on my father's side.

[2:52] Oh, from the Garfield Comics. Aunt Arlene.

[2:55] I saw her a lot more when I was younger. Hadn't seen her in a while, but I did see her recently

[3:02] at my brother Robert's wedding. Congratulations to my brother Robert.

[3:07] Yeah, yeah, yeah. He sealed the deal. It sounds like your Aunt Arlene is really

[3:11] a minor player in that story. I think my mom just had brothers. I don't

[3:18] recall ever having an aunt. Oh, the male version of an aunt, which is called an uncle.

[3:23] Yeah, sometimes you can have an aunt by marriage. Very true.

[3:27] Oh, yeah. I have a lot of titas, as aunts are called in the Philippines, on Audrey's side,

[3:35] certainly. I think Stuart was also pointing out that your mother's brothers might have gotten

[3:40] married, and those would also be their spouses. Yeah, that's true. I did have... Here's the thing.

[3:47] So this has been a real learning experience for Dan. It really expanded the definition of aunt.

[3:50] What a fucking journey. I didn't think this was going to be such a quest of self-discovery.

[3:56] You know, for whatever reason, I didn't really sort of see my mother's family as much growing up.

[4:04] So when you watched the show Mama's Family, you were like, this is like a vision of a strange

[4:09] alternate world. Mamas have families? Yeah, but certainly any maternal aunts I may have had were

[4:20] minor players in my life. That's all I'm saying. Okay, well, that's more about Dan's family than

[4:25] I thought we'd go into, but Stuart, what about you? Well, you guys kind of extended it.

[4:28] Do you have any experience with aunts? Oh, yeah. My mother's brother married a woman,

[4:36] and though he has passed on, she is still somewhat in my life, although she is like

[4:41] a weird Trump supporter and like an anti-vaxxer. So she's not that big in my life. And then my

[4:46] father's sister, my Aunt Sherry, shout out to Aunt Sherry, is alive and well in a little place

[4:54] called Cincinnati, Ohio. Or Cincinnati, if you're Miss Jackson. Or Cincinnati, because there's an

[5:07] aunt that lives there. All I know is it's hot in Cleveland, which is very big among aunts, I think.

[5:16] And I myself have three aunts, or aunts as I would say, being from New Jersey. An aunt by blood,

[5:21] my Aunt Wendy, and two aunts by marriage, my Aunt Carol and my Aunt Judy. But aunts,

[5:27] it's a different kind of relationship. Like I said, they're like your moms, but not exactly.

[5:30] They're a little sometimes kookier, and they're a little sometimes eviler. So in a flagrant theft

[5:36] of Stuart's Horror Monster episodes that we had recently, his minis, I'm going to have us look at

[5:40] some of the greatest aunts in cinema and rate how they do in several categories of stereotypical

[5:45] auntness. Now those categories are category one, wickedness. Some aunts are wicked. Category two,

[5:52] coolness. We all know about the cool aunt, who's like cooler than your mom. And category three,

[5:58] wackiness slash kookiness, because that's the thing that aunts have. And also,

[6:02] we're going to have a lucky dip category. I'm flagrantly ripping off Stuart's structure.

[6:05] I love it. I love it. Now I have a real question. Now I think it's already been covered by the other

[6:09] categories. But when you say wicked, you're meaning the general definition of the term,

[6:13] not the, say, Boston definition of the term. No, exactly. The Boston aunt might be wicked,

[6:18] meaning like cool. But I mean, that's a different category. This is wicked as in,

[6:22] like, you know, the musical Wicked. A stepmother, which is the family member that I associate with

[6:30] being stereotypically wicked, even though I know that there's a weird anti-adoption stance.

[6:36] Very much so. There are many stepmothers who are not wicked. I have a stepmother who's not wicked.

[6:40] I've never found her to be wicked. Yeah. Yeah. Except in the Boston sense.

[6:44] I didn't know that aunts, or aunts, as I actually also grew up saying,

[6:48] and for some reason have switched over the years just because people make fun of me.

[6:54] I don't know. I don't know that they have been known to be particularly wicked.

[6:57] Well, I think you might be surprised by some of the aunts that we talk about in this episode then.

[7:03] They are sometimes wicked, sometimes not. Now, I should mention there are a lot of

[7:06] horror exploitation movies about aunts that become obsessed with their nephews.

[7:13] I don't think we're really gonna be talking about too much of that. That's not...

[7:16] I don't know. It sounds intriguing.

[7:18] There's a lot we need to dive into at this moment.

[7:20] Maybe a website you could point me towards?

[7:23] Yeah, maybe a website that collects, I don't know, short films.

[7:28] Amateur short films or independent short films?

[7:30] Instructional films about, like, if you're stuck in a washing machine, what do you do?

[7:35] Oh, no, that sounds more like a professional production right there.

[7:38] Yeah, this is a road I was hoping not to go down.

[7:42] Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road. Turn away from it.

[7:45] Don't want to go down that one. The Yellow Brick Road to Stuck Town.

[7:47] Sure.

[7:48] Uh, sure. So, here's... So, we'll talk about number one.

[7:50] My first one, let's go to the film James and the Giant Peach where we find Aunt Sponge and Aunt Spiker

[7:56] played by Miriam Margolis and, of course, the legendary Joanna Lumley.

[8:01] And they're referred to... Do you need a description of these aunts?

[8:03] I should ask that.

[8:04] Let me know if you need a description of these aunts or if you're familiar with these aunts.

[8:07] I am familiar with these aunts.

[8:08] And, again, there is also an ant...

[8:10] There's also an insect ant in James and the Giant Peach that is not the one I'm talking about.

[8:14] I just saw an interview with Miriam Margolis where she was on, what, like, Graham Norton or something.

[8:19] She talks about the time, first time she met Laurence Olivier and how she creamed her knickers.

[8:25] And it left everyone... Yeah, it wasn't a dry eye in the house.

[8:32] Or knickers, I guess.

[8:33] Thank you for that side trip.

[8:37] I think that for the purposes of...

[8:38] This could have been the most family-friendly episode of The Flophouse

[8:41] and you guys have consistently taken us into...

[8:42] It's arguably about family.

[8:44] For the listeners, Elliot, I think you should describe the aunts anyway.

[8:48] Yes. So, Aunt Sponge and Aunt Spiker, as the names probably tell you,

[8:52] and they're aunts in a Roald Dahl story.

[8:54] So, that tells you more.

[8:55] They're referred to on Wikipedia as sadistic and domineering.

[8:58] They are taking care of their nephew, the titular James,

[9:02] and they come into possession of the titular giant peach.

[9:05] They don't treat James well and they see the giant peach only as a way to make money

[9:09] and not as a home for several giant bugs, including a talking aunt,

[9:12] voiced by, what, Richard Dreyfuss, I think, in the movie?

[9:15] So, eventually, they end up attacking their nephew James with axes later in the film.

[9:20] So, guys, how would you rate them in these categories?

[9:22] Sponge and Spiker.

[9:23] First, wickedness on a scale from 1 to 10.

[9:26] I mean, like, the axes is a dead giveaway.

[9:29] So, we're already talking, that's above 5 already.

[9:34] Yeah, I'm going to say an 8.

[9:36] That's pretty rugged.

[9:38] Okay, still leaving a little bit of room for wiggle room.

[9:40] Yeah, I mean, yeah, they might be misunderstood.

[9:43] Well, there's like, you know, I mean, there's an absolute scale where, like,

[9:46] if we put these people at 10 and then there's some serial murdering aunts later,

[9:53] you know, there's 8 on our faces.

[9:54] Yeah, or like, I don't know, aunts that might be involved in the tech sector.

[10:00] As doll characters, I think that, you know, they have to rate pretty high though, so I'm

[10:06] also going to give it with an 8.

[10:08] Okay, I'm going to go to a 9 on this, uh, they're very mean, they try to kill their

[10:12] nephew with an X, I'm going to go, it doesn't, to me, it doesn't get more than that.

[10:16] What about coolness?

[10:17] How cool do these amps sound?

[10:18] One of them is Joanna Lumley, so I'm going to give them at least a 6.

[10:23] Yeah, I mean, that's the thing.

[10:25] Yeah, their, I mean, their names are Sponge and Spiker.

[10:27] Yes, they sound pretty punk.

[10:28] One of them is Joanna Lumley, like, I get the feeling, and Mira Margolis is awesome

[10:33] too.

[10:34] Yeah, that's true.

[10:35] That if you're not an orphan that's been dumped on them, if you're, like, their friends, like,

[10:38] they would be great at, like, brunch, say.

[10:40] So I'm going to say 7.

[10:41] They definitely have, like, a mean brunch where they're, like, making fun of everybody

[10:44] else in the place.

[10:45] Yeah, yeah.

[10:46] So, Stuart, what would you say?

[10:47] Yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to say 7 as well.

[10:49] Okay.

[10:50] And wackiness slash kookiness.

[10:52] Ooh.

[10:53] Pretty kooky.

[10:55] Are there specific kooky things you can remind me of?

[10:59] I mean, just a general Roald Dahl-yness of their characters.

[11:03] Yeah, that does give you a few points already.

[11:05] Heightened and cartoonish.

[11:06] Yeah.

[11:07] It's a high 4.

[11:08] They have, like, wacky hair, don't they?

[11:09] Yeah, their hair is kind of wacky.

[11:11] Okay, I'll go with a 6.

[11:14] Not the most wacky, because, you know, there's axes involved.

[11:18] I'm actually going to give them a 5.

[11:19] I feel like no Roald Dahl character can be less than a 5, but it's not like they're,

[11:22] like, fun wacky kooky.

[11:24] I feel like a wacky kooky ant, that's an ant who is fun up to a certain point when it stops

[11:29] being fun.

[11:30] Yes.

[11:31] Yeah.

[11:32] So, Dan, what would you give them?

[11:33] A certain number of drinks, maybe.

[11:34] I'm going to say, I'll go with 5, too.

[11:37] 5.

[11:38] Okay.

[11:39] Now, it's time for a lucky dip.

[11:40] So, who's going to choose the category?

[11:42] A number between 1 and 10.

[11:43] That's all I need.

[11:44] I'm going to do number 7.

[11:47] Number 7.

[11:48] Okay.

[11:49] How would these ants be at committing a murder?

[11:51] Well, they'd be bad at it because they attempted and don't succeed at chopping James to bits,

[11:56] right?

[11:57] That's fair.

[11:58] They do not.

[11:59] I think, and they also attack him in public with the axes, which is a big mistake.

[12:02] Well, it seems like a mistake.

[12:03] Sure, sure.

[12:04] I mean.

[12:05] They have the will.

[12:06] So, yeah.

[12:07] That's the thing.

[12:08] Like, what does good at attempting a murder mean?

[12:11] It doesn't necessarily mean that they get away with it.

[12:14] It means that they are good at doing it.

[12:16] But I said committing a murder, not attempting a murder.

[12:18] Committing a murder.

[12:19] Committing.

[12:20] No, I was saying.

[12:22] The measure is whether they accomplish the murder or not, and they don't do it.

[12:26] But they do, as Stuart says, they have the will.

[12:29] Like clearly, they have the murderous rage in them.

[12:32] So yeah.

[12:33] But if you like, if you're like interviewing candidates to commit a murder for you and

[12:39] they're like, yeah, we tried once in public and it just didn't work.

[12:42] And you're like, yeah, but the person trying to kill was like a super soldier.

[12:45] No, it was a little kid.

[12:47] He was in a giant cage.

[12:49] The kid.

[12:50] I'm going to go with five, I guess.

[12:53] Five.

[12:54] OK, Stu, what do you say?

[12:55] I'm just giving them a four.

[12:56] Four.

[12:57] Wow.

[12:58] I'm going to give them a six at least, because I feel like if they did, if they had tried

[12:59] it in private, they could have killed that.

[13:01] That could be dead by now.

[13:02] They'd be burying his body and the peach in the backyard.

[13:05] OK, so that's Sponge and Spiker.

[13:07] Let's move on to our next aunt.

[13:08] OK, this is Robin Wright as Antiope in Wonder Woman.

[13:14] This is Wonder Woman's aunt.

[13:15] She's a warrior, a master of combat.

[13:17] She trains Diana as a warrior.

[13:20] And she's sort of a surrogate mother, right?

[13:22] Yes.

[13:23] I mean, Wonder Woman's mother, Hippolyta, is around, but she's a little distant.

[13:26] You know, I think she has a stronger relationship with with her aunt than with her mother in

[13:29] some ways.

[13:30] Yeah.

[13:31] So let's look at those categories again.

[13:35] The first category, of course, is wickedness.

[13:38] I think that's pretty low.

[13:39] I think she's she doesn't have any ulterior motives.

[13:42] She's not.

[13:43] I think Amazon are kind of presented in general as being ultra pure and she's, you know, very

[13:49] noble.

[13:50] Yeah.

[13:51] Very noble.

[13:52] So I'm going to say one.

[13:53] OK.

[13:54] And Stuart, what are you going to say?

[13:55] Yeah.

[13:56] There's no I don't I don't see any like I don't see any darkness hidden by the by their

[14:01] whole thing.

[14:02] So I'm going to go with a one as well.

[14:03] I'm going to say a three just because she is very violent and sometimes violence may

[14:08] be called for in self-defense.

[14:09] But I think she kind of likes it.

[14:11] I think she's kind of she's she she likes having an opportunity to let her her inner

[14:15] Wolverine come out, you know, to mix publishers.

[14:18] OK.

[14:19] Now, what about coolness?

[14:20] How cool is this?

[14:21] And I'll mind you, she's a bad ass Amazon warrior who trains Wonder Woman.

[14:26] That's high.

[14:27] Yeah.

[14:28] That's very high.

[14:29] Easily.

[14:30] Easily an eight.

[14:31] Right.

[14:32] Eight or nine.

[14:33] Yeah.

[14:34] I would also going to give it.

[14:35] She'll smoke a fool.

[14:36] Not even bad.

[14:37] No.

[14:38] You know.

[14:39] Yeah.

[14:41] I mean, I guess she's got to have some Greek fertility right.

[14:43] Yeah.

[14:44] You know, that's maybe I mean, I guess, yeah, the Greek.

[14:46] I don't.

[14:47] The Greek.

[14:48] I don't.

[14:49] My thing is, like, she's cool, but in like a way that like I wouldn't necessarily think

[14:56] that that's what I personally find.

[14:59] Cool.

[15:00] OK.

[15:02] You know, you don't want to hang out with her.

[15:04] Yeah.

[15:05] You know, I would rather have the cool aunt who is like into really good music.

[15:10] You know, when I was young and like, the one who shows you older than I was, who shows

[15:15] you like a punk album and she's like, you're going to like this, that kind of thing.

[15:18] Yeah.

[15:19] But I mean, there is inherent coolness that I think that even saying that I'll also go

[15:24] with an eight.

[15:25] Oh, wow.

[15:26] You really talked yourself into reversing entirely on that.

[15:29] OK.

[15:30] What about wackiness, kookiness?

[15:31] I'm going to give her a pretty low on this one.

[15:34] Yeah.

[15:35] I don't think that any of the Amazon are particularly kooky.

[15:39] They're like more staid and kind of very stoic.

[15:42] They're not fun.

[15:43] They're not a fun people.

[15:44] And that's I think why Diana has to leave more than anything else is there's a sense

[15:47] of fun about her sometimes, you know?

[15:49] Yeah.

[15:50] I'm going to give her a two on this.

[15:52] I'm giving a one one.

[15:53] OK.

[15:54] And I'm going to give it to also because there is something kooky about the fact that anytime

[15:57] they do anything, you hear a female voice go.

[15:59] Oh, yeah.

[16:00] In the background.

[16:01] That's going to be kooky.

[16:03] OK, Dan, you want to pick the the lucky dip category here?

[16:06] Yeah, I'll go with three.

[16:08] Three.

[16:09] Hosting a Passover Seder.

[16:10] OK, how do you think Antiope will be at hosting a Passover Seder?

[16:16] I mean, they seem to I mean, they pretty clearly have their own religious tradition that is

[16:22] not Judaism and.

[16:24] Historically accurate, the Greek Amazons would not have been Jewish.

[16:30] And so I think that they would probably be less successful than, say, me at hosting a

[16:36] Passover Seder.

[16:38] I at least have been to a couple of some courtesy of you, Elliot.

[16:41] That's true.

[16:43] I mean, but you can always reach out to Gal Gadot for pointers, right?

[16:48] Her her niece is Jewish in real life.

[16:52] You know, I I still can't go.

[16:56] I like I'm going to say one on this.

[16:59] Wow.

[17:00] I feel like she she trains.

[17:05] She is disciplined.

[17:06] If she was given this task, she would attack it with full fervor.

[17:10] I'm going to say a seven.

[17:12] I think she would crush it.

[17:13] Well, I don't know how much study time there was allowed, you know, if this was sprung

[17:17] on her.

[17:18] It's Judaism.

[17:19] It's all study.

[17:20] It's all she's I'm going to give her a six because I also think if you gave her you give

[17:24] her a Haggadah, you tell her how to make the things she's going to do it to perfection

[17:28] technically.

[17:29] But it's going to be missing the joy of the holiday.

[17:32] And also the kind of I don't think she's going to tell the story well.

[17:35] You know, I think she's going to tell it.

[17:36] She's not she's not going to reference what the creeping death or whatever.

[17:40] Yeah, she's not a cool aunt would do.

[17:42] That would be like.

[17:43] And now let's hear a song about Passover and play creeping death.

[17:46] OK, let's move on to Ant number three.

[17:50] This is the ant from Spider-Man, Spider-Man two and Spider-Man three.

[17:54] That's Aunt May Rosemary Harris edition.

[17:57] This is the Rosemary Harris.

[17:58] Oh, man.

[17:59] Sam Raimi's fan.

[18:00] OK, I saw her on stage once.

[18:03] Oh, yes.

[18:05] Have we?

[18:06] Did we pee into a fountain?

[18:07] All three of us.

[18:08] And now you're telling stories.

[18:09] Yeah.

[18:10] She was on stage.

[18:11] She was in a production of My Fair Lady along where I am.

[18:15] That's right.

[18:16] Laura Bonet.

[18:17] See the if you're if we clip this, you can see me pointing to the poster right behind

[18:23] me.

[18:24] If we don't.

[18:25] Clearly, you know, a pointless diversion.

[18:27] It was a pointless point.

[18:29] So let's talk about Aunt May Rosemary Harris edition in the categories.

[18:32] Oh, my goodness.

[18:33] Oh, zero.

[18:34] Yes.

[18:35] Ten.

[18:36] But unfortunately, we can't go lower than zero.

[18:39] But I'm also going to get zero.

[18:40] Yeah, zero.

[18:41] Except for except for she never got nasty with the vulture, right?

[18:44] That was a different Aunt May.

[18:46] Did the other Aunt May get involved with the vulture?

[18:48] Didn't Aunt May in the comics date the vulture for a while?

[18:51] She became she was no she dated Dr. Octopus and almost married him.

[18:55] Oh, right.

[18:56] OK.

[18:57] So the vulture, he well, the vulture was involved with with her one time boyfriend, Nathan Lubensky,

[19:05] and ended up actually accidentally killing Nathan, I believe.

[19:07] But no.

[19:08] Yes.

[19:09] Yeah.

[19:10] Sure.

[19:11] Accidentally.

[19:12] The comics Aunt May always had a kind of a thing for Doc Ock.

[19:13] And in the comics now, she kind of plays on that with that haircut.

[19:16] I mean, who would?

[19:17] Oh, yeah.

[19:18] Oh, yeah.

[19:19] And that and that frame.

[19:21] So many hands.

[19:22] So.

[19:23] Yeah.

[19:24] So.

[19:25] Yeah.

[19:26] But otherwise, she is the heart and soul and conscience of Spider-Man, like the greatest

[19:28] hero in all literature.

[19:30] So, Dan, what are you going to give her in terms of wickedness?

[19:32] Oh, I said zero as well.

[19:34] Zero.

[19:35] OK.

[19:36] Zero for wickedness.

[19:37] OK.

[19:38] What about coolness?

[19:39] Aunt May, Rosemary Harris edition coolness.

[19:40] Pretty cool.

[19:41] I mean, she's cool in that old lady way where, like, she has is, you know, transcended ideas

[19:48] of caring about cool.

[19:50] Yeah.

[19:51] You can also see her start rapping to embarrass Peter Parker in a funny way, in a way where

[19:56] he's like, Aunt May, stop it.

[19:57] You know.

[19:58] Well, I would say, like, she's very.

[20:00] She's sweet and she's funny in her own way, and so I'm going to say she's a six.

[20:08] Six?

[20:09] Okay.

[20:10] What about you, Stuart?

[20:11] I'm going to knock it a point.

[20:13] I'm just going to give her a five.

[20:14] Okay.

[20:15] I'm going to give her a ten.

[20:16] Nothing's cooler than being Spider-Man's aunt, even if you don't know it.

[20:20] Spider-Man lives in your house.

[20:21] Amazing.

[20:22] Good point.

[20:23] Number three, wackiness.

[20:24] You're best friends with Spider-Man.

[20:25] Spectacular.

[20:26] You're best friends with Spider-Man.

[20:27] Yeah, you raised Spider-Man.

[20:28] Wackiness, kookiness.

[20:29] I mean, she's not that wacky, but every once in a while she says something kind of funny

[20:35] and kooky.

[20:36] Yeah.

[20:37] So I'll put her a five.

[20:40] Okay.

[20:41] She's a little dotty, which leads to a little bit of wackiness and kookiness.

[20:43] Stuart, what about you?

[20:44] Yeah, I'm going to say the same thing, like what, at that Thanksgiving dinner with the

[20:49] Green Goblin.

[20:50] She's a little bit goofy there.

[20:51] That's fun.

[20:52] Okay, so five.

[20:53] I'm going to give her a six, because I agree, but I just like her so much.

[20:57] So lucky the category.

[20:59] Stuart, what is the category number?

[21:02] Two.

[21:03] Two.

[21:04] Oh.

[21:05] Taking care of you and your younger sibling after your parents die in the beginning of

[21:09] the movie.

[21:10] Oh, she's going to be so good at that.

[21:11] Knock it out of the park.

[21:12] Knock it out of the park.

[21:13] It's amazing that that was a category, and she got it.

[21:20] She got it.

[21:21] So guys, I'm giving her a 10 across the board from all of us.

[21:24] There's no way.

[21:25] I will book no dissent on that.

[21:26] Yeah.

[21:27] 10.

[21:28] 10.

[21:29] 10.

[21:30] 10.

[21:31] 10.

[21:32] Oh, she is showing taking care of her nephew realness.

[21:33] 10s across the board.

[21:34] Okay, guys, but here's the thing.

[21:35] Coming up, number four, Spider-Man Homecomings, Aunt May, Marissa Tomei edition.

[21:40] Let's see how she stacks up against Rosemary Harris.

[21:43] All right.

[21:44] This is the younger Aunt May.

[21:45] I'm beginning to see that that category had a few chances of connecting.

[21:48] I mean, the thing is, there's so many movies where an aunt has to take care of her brother

[21:53] or sister's kids.

[21:56] The aunt that I rejected for this was Jumanji, Bebe Neuwirth, who was in that same situation

[22:00] because she just doesn't make that much of an impression.

[22:02] I don't think you guys would remember her that well, you know, but I should get a lot

[22:06] of affection for me for being Bebe Neuwirth, but that would be about it.

[22:09] Exactly.

[22:10] So this is Marissa Tomei's Aunt May.

[22:12] She's younger.

[22:13] She's, I guess, briefly in a relationship with Happy Hogan, and she finds out about

[22:21] Spider-Man's secret identity, something that in the old movies, Aunt May, as far as we

[22:25] can tell, never did.

[22:26] So Category One, Wickedness.

[22:29] How wicked is she?

[22:30] Well, I would like it to be 10.

[22:38] Different kind of wickedness, Stuart, although, yeah, she does sleep with Happy, who is played

[22:48] by what's his face?

[22:50] Jon Favreau.

[22:51] Jon Favreau.

[22:52] I feel wickedness in that, I feel like.

[22:53] Just because he's writing The Mandalorian at the same time, I understand.

[22:54] Yeah, yeah.

[22:55] He's filming Chef at the same time.

[22:56] I think it's just my feelings about Favreau.

[22:57] Okay, so that's two.

[22:58] Stuart, what are you going to give her?

[22:59] Yeah, I don't know.

[23:00] I'll say like, like a three or four.

[23:01] Like a four.

[23:02] Let's say four.

[23:03] Okay, I think I'm going to give a two also, because she means well, but I bet she does

[23:04] things that are a little bit less than what she's used to.

[23:05] I don't know.

[23:16] Or, okay, I think I'm going to give a two also, because she means well, but I bet she

[23:20] does things that are a little bit naughtier than Rosemary Harris.

[23:23] At least, I mean, when Rosemary Harris was young, who knows what was happening.

[23:27] Sure.

[23:28] Maniac.

[23:29] Maniac.

[23:30] I mean, there was literally a terrible comic book.

[23:31] Blood on the streets, yeah.

[23:32] A terrible comic book about Aunt May as a teenager becoming pregnant.

[23:36] Oh, God.

[23:38] That was the book, Trouble, written by Mark Miller, a writer who I've never been a fan

[23:43] of.

[23:44] A writer with a soft touch.

[23:45] Yeah, exactly.

[23:47] So what about coolness, guys?

[23:49] Marissa told my Aunt May, coolness.

[23:52] This is, I'm going to, I almost want to go full ten, but I'll go nine.

[23:58] Like, you know, this is, this is a cool aunt.

[24:01] The only reason why I can't give her a ten is because I've seen My Cousin Vinny, where

[24:05] she plays the coolest character in the universe.

[24:08] That's true, yeah.

[24:09] So I got to give her a nine.

[24:10] Not necessarily an aunt in that movie, although maybe, we don't know.

[24:15] Yeah.

[24:16] I mean, she could be an aunt.

[24:17] Maybe that's why her biological clock is ticking like this, I'm assuming she is.

[24:21] I mean, based on, based on traditional New York Italian family structures.

[24:27] Sure, yeah.

[24:28] She probably has plenty of babies.

[24:29] She's doing well.

[24:30] And it makes sense that Vinny, who is an uncle, would be matched up with an aunt.

[24:33] Yeah.

[24:34] It makes sense.

[24:35] Okay, so I'm going to give her.

[24:36] Yeah, they're the perfect pair.

[24:37] I'm going to give her a nine also because she's pretty cool.

[24:39] She's pretty good about accepting that her nephew is a superhero, but not entirely.

[24:43] She's still a little freaked out by it.

[24:45] So speaking of freaking out, what about category three, wackiness, kookiness?

[24:50] Yeah, I mean, again, I think there's a little bit there.

[24:55] Her kookiness is diminished, I think, by the existence of Marisa Tomei and My Cousin Vinny,

[25:01] which would also be like a perfect 10 of kookiness.

[25:05] And Marisa Tomei in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead?

[25:07] Sure.

[25:08] In and The Wrestler.

[25:09] Zany.

[25:11] I mean, maybe I'm just reacting to Marisa Tomei's general vibe rather than the character,

[25:18] but I'm going to give a seven.

[25:19] Seven?

[25:20] Okay.

[25:21] Stu, what about you?

[25:22] That's a little high for me.

[25:23] I'm going to give her a six.

[25:24] Okay.

[25:25] I'm going to give her a five.

[25:26] I feel like, yeah, she is a restrained Marisa Tomei depiction.

[25:28] Okay.

[25:29] Lucky dip for her.

[25:30] It's too bad she didn't get what Rosemary Harris got.

[25:32] But Dan, give us a number.

[25:35] The only numbers you can't pick are two, three, or seven.

[25:38] One.

[25:39] One?

[25:40] Buying you a birthday present you'll actually like.

[25:42] How do you think she'll do on this as an aunt?

[25:45] She seems pretty involved in Peter's life.

[25:51] He seems to love her.

[25:53] She seems to be really trying to, you know, I'm going to say a nine.

[25:58] I think she pays attention.

[25:59] Wow.

[26:00] Okay.

[26:02] Um, yeah, this is a tough one.

[26:06] I can go first if you want me to.

[26:07] I can go first if you want me to.

[26:08] I really like.

[26:09] Yeah, I'm going to give her a three.

[26:10] I don't feel like she really...

[26:11] I don't usually really like real estate.

[26:14] It's hard for me to see her getting...

[26:16] I think she is going to try, but I think she's going to get him Transmorphers instead of

[26:19] Transformers.

[26:20] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[26:21] I feel like that's...

[26:22] She's not as connected to what he's into, you know?

[26:24] Yeah.

[26:25] The thing is, I just keep waiting for somebody to go to Jared, and they never do.

[26:29] I'm going to give her a five, which is an optimistic five.

[26:38] Okay.

[26:39] Optimistic five.

[26:40] I feel like best case scenario, she goes to the comic store and she's like, what do teenagers

[26:43] like?

[26:44] You know?

[26:45] And she might walk away with Ghost World, and he'll enjoy that, I guess, you know?

[26:50] We're talking about what she's getting Peter, because if she got me what teenagers like,

[26:55] I'd be like, what the fuck is this?

[26:58] You know what?

[26:59] I was talking about Peter.

[27:00] Yeah, Stuart, do you think she'd be able to get...

[27:01] What would you do if Aunt May walked home and she's like, they said teenagers like this

[27:04] book, and you unwrapped it, and it's Ghost World by Dan Close?

[27:07] I'd be like, get this out of here, because I love his line work.

[27:14] Okay, moving on.

[27:16] Let's go to...

[27:17] We're going to go back in the past, everybody.

[27:18] We're going to go to the 1940s to the movie Arsenic and Old Lace, and Aunt Abby Brewster

[27:22] and Aunt Martha Brewster, played by Josephine Hull and Gina Dare.

[27:26] Do you need a description?

[27:27] I'll give it to you.

[27:28] They're a little dottie.

[27:29] They're a little dottie.

[27:30] They're a little absent-minded.

[27:31] Cary Grant is their nephew.

[27:34] They accept that their other nephew thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt, and yells, charge, every

[27:38] time he goes up the stairs.

[27:40] But they also have a hobby of inviting lonely, unmarried men into their house, and then poisoning

[27:44] them and burying their bodies in the basement.

[27:47] So let's talk about these aunts on the scale.

[27:50] Wickedness.

[27:51] Where would you put them on wickedness?

[27:52] This is going to be a complicated one for them.

[27:54] This is morally complicated because they are serial murderers, like I said before.

[28:01] But in this case, they're doing it out of a belief that it is what is best for these

[28:06] lonely men.

[28:07] They think they're helping them, yes.

[28:10] Now the lonely men are never asked their opinions on the issue.

[28:17] It's not up to them to choose.

[28:18] There's a certain objective nature to wickedness.

[28:20] It's not all relative to intent, because as we know, the road to hell is paved with

[28:26] good intentions.

[28:27] So I'm still going to, I think I'm going to give them a seven for wickedness.

[28:33] Okay, a seven.

[28:35] You know, I'm not super, I feel like I've never seen this.

[28:41] So I'm just going to give it a seven.

[28:42] I'm going to trust Dan.

[28:43] I'm going to give them a six.

[28:45] They are objectively murderesses.

[28:47] They are killing lots of people.

[28:49] But yeah, but I think I'm going to give their intent a little more.

[28:52] They're not doing it for wicked reasons.

[28:53] If you said to them, oh, but men don't like to be murdered, they'd be like, oh, we'll

[28:58] stop doing it then.

[28:59] So no one has taught them, you know.

[29:01] Why doesn't Cary Grant just decide to try that?

[29:04] I forget.

[29:05] I don't know why.

[29:06] I don't know why he doesn't do that.

[29:07] Well, Cary Grant in the movie is not the normal suave Cary Grant we know.

[29:10] He's a lot more.

[29:11] Yeah, he's goofy.

[29:12] He's goofy and hyper and not the original first choice for the character.

[29:16] Goofy, he's what, like a dog that wears clothes?

[29:19] He's a big dog and he's like, oh, you're poisoning those guys.

[29:23] Yeah.

[29:24] He has his own dog that doesn't talk anyway.

[29:28] Or maybe it's as we talked about, maybe it's some kind of sex game where we're his best

[29:31] friends.

[29:32] We're still kind of sex game where Pluto pretends that he can't talk.

[29:34] Who knows?

[29:35] So category two, coolness.

[29:37] How cool are these little old ladies?

[29:39] I mean, I guess it's kind of metal that they're killing all these guys.

[29:44] That's pretty cool.

[29:46] I'll give them a four.

[29:48] Okay.

[29:49] Stuart, what about you?

[29:50] I mean, again, I'm going to have to take your word for it.

[29:53] I'm going to have to say a four as well.

[29:54] Okay.

[29:55] I'm going to give them a three.

[29:56] I'm going to give them a three.

[29:57] It is pretty metal, I guess, but I don't want to reward them.

[30:00] much for it uh and now about wackiness kookiness well this is this really depends on how kooky you

[30:07] find murder because they are pretty dotty and zany they're pretty pixelated as you as they

[30:13] would say back in olden days but doesn't that specifically mean that they were drinking a lot

[30:18] that's pixelated no well actually the idea was that you uh maybe it was meant that way sometimes

[30:23] the way i've heard it used like in uh mr deeds goes to town is the idea that like you're a weirdo

[30:27] like the pixies have taken you away not the band the pixies which i'm sure i'm sure aunt may

[30:33] marissa tomei edition saw the pixies live when she was younger you know uh yeah i mean look i

[30:40] think their absolute score would be higher if their zaniness didn't result in murder but i'll

[30:47] give them an eight an eight okay what about you stewart i mean that does sound pretty zany i'll

[30:52] give them an eight i mean i'm giving them a 10 they are fucking kooky they are a couple of

[30:58] them they're kooky they're creepy they're kooky they're ooky they're ooky as shit okay so let's

[31:03] do the lucky dip category dan i think it's your turn to choose the numbers available are four

[31:07] five six eight nine ten uh ten okay so how good would they be at subtly leading you out of the

[31:15] room while your parents get into an argument um uh you know what i think they'd be good at this

[31:22] they like despite all the murder they're very warm and they you know care about their nephew

[31:28] i'm gonna give them an eight okay and they know subtlety because they've been getting away with

[31:32] murder for years for years yeah yeah this all this all adds up yeah and eight sounds from what

[31:37] information i have i love eight sounds right i think i'm gonna give them i'm gonna give them a

[31:42] seven because it could go either way they're also pretty wacky so i could see them going oh well

[31:46] let's go into the other room you know something like that you know something that's sure calls a

[31:50] little bit too much attention okay moving on to a break we've got a break coming up guys let's talk

[31:56] about who our sponsors are for this the uh what am i calling this again oh yeah anti-war war of the

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[33:48] use vpn you can connect with one click or enable auto connect they have almost 6 000 servers in 60

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[34:47] take up too much more time but we've got some exciting flop house stuff to talk about uh flop

[34:53] tv continues apace our monthly online live broadcast so you can watch the recordings

[34:59] uh tv version of the flop house podcast our next episode is december 2nd we'll be talking ballistic

[35:05] x versus sever that's at 9 p.m eastern 6 p.m pacific the first saturday in december

[35:11] december 2nd one day before my birthday and you can watch the recording afterwards if you can't

[35:15] make it for the broadcast get your tickets or season passes at theflophouse.simpletix.com

[35:20] and if you're thinking there's only like two episodes left why would i get a second season

[35:25] pass the season pass gets you access to all of the previous episode recordings so you get to watch

[35:30] all six episodes those are still up if you have a season pass you can watch them whenever you want

[35:36] just be like pluto tv and just have it run constantly you can do that yeah you can watch

[35:40] these old shows and see how much we've aged and changed over the last six months yeah exactly oh

[35:45] horribly in my case so the other thing that's exciting we're not just doing stuff on your

[35:49] screen we're doing stuff in front of your very eyes if you live in one of the four cities that

[35:55] we will be traveling to at the end of january for our flop house west coast store it's a not

[36:01] west coast store which it sounded like i said but a west coast tour a tour of west coast cities

[36:07] four dates four cities we're calling it eras that's a new name i came up with and we can

[36:12] announce two of those dates right now two of them are still being confirmed on january 25th at 8 pm

[36:16] we will be in portland oregon at the aladdin theater it's a wish come true so for tickets go

[36:22] to aladdin-theater.com it's dash the mark not dash the word aladdin-theater.com that's january 25th

[36:30] at 8 p.m in portland oregon and january 28th at 7 p.m we'll be in los angeles california at the

[36:36] regent theater go to regentdtla.com we'll be announcing our other dates soon and we'll be

[36:43] announcing what movies we'll be watching soon we have to figure those out and they will be

[36:48] exciting we may have some other surprises to tell you about do they get a prize if they figure no

[36:52] we have to figure them out i'm gonna give you 26 letters and you have to pick which ones are in the

[36:59] movie titles uh i have some non-flophouse news that i'm excited about next year i'm going to be

[37:04] doing another podcast not with these two guys although i love them more than anyone else they

[37:08] are my best beloved instead i'm going to be doing a year-long podcast next year with one roman mars

[37:17] that's right roman the monster from the robot monster movie mars no the roman god of mars the

[37:24] yeah the war god uh roman mars from 99 invisible and i will be co-hosting a podcast about the power

[37:29] broker that's right next year is the 50th anniversary of my favorite book the power

[37:33] broker robert carrow's masterpiece brick of a tome about what happens to a city when one man

[37:40] manages to amass all the power in it and literally reshape the physical infrastructure of the city

[37:45] in the only in the way he wants to not listening to anybody else it's a great book if you've never

[37:49] read it get yourself a copy read along with us it's going to be a monthly podcast all through

[37:53] next year and we'll be doing kind of introductory episode that should come out in december and we'll

[37:57] be uh interviewing famous people we talked to conan o'brien already it'll be great i'll tell

[38:02] you the title of the podcast when i know what it is it makes me so happy that elliot's dreams coming

[38:07] true it's like if uh like i got to do a podcast all about like warhammer dan got to do a podcast

[38:12] all about i mean you did get to be like cds and stuff a brain and a tube oh yeah so i feel like

[38:19] you guys have had my dreams yeah dan you're really behind on your dreams coming true

[38:25] i think that's the next thing we should we should start one of those make-a-wish things

[38:29] yeah for making dance come true yeah figure out the show up and it'll be great and uh finally

[38:36] one last thing is uh the comic book series i have right now uh disney villains hades uh is coming

[38:41] out now from dynamite comics check comic book stores to five issue series as of this recording

[38:45] the first three issues have come out uh those are all the ads and things stay tuned for more

[38:49] information on our flop live shows and on that power broker podcast what is up people of the

[39:00] world do you have an argument that you keep having with your friends and you just can't

[39:05] seem to settle it and you're sitting there arguing about whether it's star trek or star

[39:09] wars or you can't decide what is the best nut or can't agree on what is the best cheese

[39:15] stop doing that listen to we got this with mark and hal only on max fun your topics asked and

[39:21] answered objectively definitively for all time so don't worry everybody we got this we got this

[39:29] hey sydney you're a physician and the co-host of sawbones a marital tour of misguided medicine

[39:34] right that's true justin is it true that our medical history podcast is just as good as a

[39:38] visit to your primary care physician no justin that is absolutely not true uh however our podcast

[39:44] is funny and interesting and a great way to learn about the medical misdeeds of the past

[39:49] as well as some current not so legit health care fads so you're saying that by listening to our

[39:54] podcast people will feel better sure and isn't that the same reason that you go to the doctor

[39:58] well you could

[40:00] say that. And our podcast is free. Yes, it is free. You heard it here first, folks. Saw

[40:05] Bones, Meryl Turing of Misguided Medicine, right here on Maximum Fun, just as good as

[40:09] going to the doctor. No, no, no. Still not just as good as going to the doctor, but,

[40:13] but pretty good. It's up there. Are you guys ready to get back to the war of the aunties

[40:18] as we talk about? I cannot wait. I am on the edge of my seat, even though I paid for the

[40:22] whole fucking thing. Paid for my chair? In my home? Paid for Dan's chair. What did you

[40:29] I gotta stop this. Yeah, there was a, there's a guy outside the door that said I had to

[40:34] pay him for the use of the chair. I could be profiteering off of Stuart. Yeah, you should

[40:38] be doing that. Uh, as if you're not already. Um, but anyway, I guess so. I mean, I like

[40:44] to think of it as like a mutual, like that's a symbiotic relationship. It's like, it's

[40:50] like when a shark has one of those little guys creeping on the belly. Yeah. It's called

[40:53] eating the food off of Stuart's belly. All the stuff that falls out of Stuart's mouth

[40:58] goes into Dan's mouth. Yeah. And if you want to join OnlyFans, you can see that happen.

[41:03] Yeah. If you want to, uh, run, don't walk to your drawing easels and give us a fan art.

[41:11] Use your imagination in anything's possible. Yeah. So, uh, this is a monkey's paw, a monkey's

[41:19] paw, which like a sandwich with a monkey's paw in it. It's a good idea. It doesn't feel

[41:26] so good in your tummy. No, not at all. You really regret it. Uh, so here's our next ant.

[41:31] We're going to talk about Auntie Mame or Auntie Mame played by Rosalind Russell. You guys

[41:35] are familiar with her. She's a flamboyant society hostess. She's a world traveler. She's

[41:39] always showing her nephew a good time and eventually saves him from marrying into a

[41:42] family of antisemites. So let's talk about, this is the movie, the original movie, not

[41:48] the musical Mame we're talking about. Uh, this is, no, this is, uh, no, this is, I mean,

[41:55] they're all versions of the same story. Okay. It's a, it's a universal story. It's the universal

[42:01] story that Joseph Campbell talks about, uh, in his, in his books, the story of Auntie

[42:04] Mame. This is, uh, this is the, uh, this is the movie Auntie Mame, but, uh, it is a musical,

[42:10] isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. No, that's what I was. I thought that it doesn't matter. There's

[42:15] also, well, there's also Mame is the one that I believe stars Lucille Ball, right?

[42:19] Yeah. That's what I was. Yeah. Which is all, which is not the one I'm talking about. That

[42:24] one is no good. Uh, so this is Auntie Mame. Uh, guys, where would you call it? Put it

[42:30] on wickedness. Now she's a high society hostess. She does a lot of partying. Okay. There's a

[42:36] potential for wickedness. Yeah. Here's the thing. I have not, I haven't Stewart's a boat,

[42:43] except for, I don't have a Dan to lean on. I like, I don't really know this movie to stand

[42:51] on or a Dan to lean on. Yeah. I don't think I've watched this movie come out or Mame.

[42:58] No, this, so this, uh, Oh no, this is not the musical version. I'm sorry. Yeah. This

[43:01] one does not have music in it. Uh, this is the, so this movie came out in 1958.

[43:07] Oh, it's based on the play Mame, which is based on the novel Auntie Mame.

[43:13] So they just keep going back and forth. They can't figure it out. It's like they kept putting

[43:18] the back on Facebook every few years. Yeah. Yeah. And this is, this is a starring Rosalind

[43:24] Russell who, you know, from his girl Friday. Um, okay. Well, I do. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I don't

[43:33] know. Wickedness. I'm going to give her what now, what does she do again? She's like a stage mom

[43:38] or something. No, no, no. She's just, she's like a big party. Party lady. She doesn't kill anybody.

[43:44] She's flamboyant, exuberant. She's a circle of wickedness. Cause I bet she, I mean, it depends

[43:50] on what you think of substance abuse as well. She drinks a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Just to be safe,

[43:54] I'm going to give her a five just cause I don't want to smear her. It's hard to know by the,

[43:59] by the fifties, uh, standards, she's very wicked. One of her best friends is a nudist,

[44:04] you know, she's, she's involved with stage people, uh, by modern day, uh, things not,

[44:11] but she's good at heart. She's a, you know, she's good at heart to everybody.

[44:14] So I think I'm going to give her a four. Okay. Uh, okay. Next we've got next we've got category

[44:22] two coolness. How cool is she? I mean, the name is cool. She does. I mean,

[44:27] she sounds pretty cool with all these parties. Yeah. Parties are naturally.

[44:37] You know, that's why like cool guys are always yelling party. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. They barely,

[44:42] they rarely yelled no parties, please. Yeah. Keep it down. A quiet night at home on the couch.

[44:49] I'm studying. Yeah. Um, I'm going to give her an eight for this. It sounds pretty cool.

[44:57] Sounds pretty cool. But once again, I don't know for sure. So I'm going to say a seven.

[45:00] Okay. I'm giving her a nine. She is really cool. You're still relying on me.

[45:08] Even though clever girl in the land of the blinds, the one eyed man is King. So yeah,

[45:15] the fact that you have a little bit of frame of reference, I have a vague idea of what this thing

[45:20] is. Yeah. So let's talk about category three wackiness, kookiness. Oh, I think that this

[45:25] is one of the classic kooky hands, right? Uh, Oh, for sure. A nine. Okay. Stuart,

[45:32] like Stuart in your, in your expert opinion, not relying on Dan, what do you think?

[45:36] Okay. Does, does she wear like normal clothes or does she wear like,

[45:39] I don't know, like patchwork clothes and like a pot on her head?

[45:43] She does do that. It's just, I think of her as like feather boas, long cigarette holders,

[45:48] that kind of stuff. You know, it's not that kooky though, man. That's pretty normal.

[45:54] For what situation though? Yeah. I'm going to say six.

[46:00] Six. Okay. I'm giving her a nine. She's pretty damn kooky. Uh, and pretty wacky.

[46:05] She reminds me a little bit of, uh, I, when I was in college, I would talk about how my

[46:08] grandmother would take me to the theater. And one of my other classmates imagined that she was

[46:12] like a lady with a long cigarette holder and a turban with a jewel in the front and a feather

[46:16] boa. Who's always like, darling, let's go to the theater, which is not what my grandmother is like,

[46:21] but that's more of what an Auntie Mame is like. Okay. That's Auntie Mame. So let's go to our

[46:25] lucky dip category. Stu, I think it's your turn to choose. I'm going to say five.

[46:30] Five. Okay. How would she do at letting you smoke pot in her house?

[46:35] A hundred percent. This, this, this lady is like, no bones about it. You can spark that

[46:40] shit up. She's like, uh, I have one rule. You cannot smoke pot in my house unless you share.

[46:44] Like that's Auntie Mame. Oh yeah. Yeah. That sounds cool. Yeah. I mean,

[46:47] she'd call them jazz cigarettes, but I'm going to give her a 10 for this as well.

[46:50] Yeah. So Stuart, what would you say? 10 also? Yeah. 10, 10, 10.

[46:53] Yeah. 10 all, 10s across the board. Uh, yeah. 10, 10, 10. She is giving reefer realness

[46:58] in this, uh, in this one. So let's move on to, oh, another, another aunt who is also kind of a

[47:05] partier in some ways, but maybe it's not quite as positive. This is Aunt April start played by

[47:10] Taraji P. Henson in I Can Do Bad All By Myself, the Tyler Perry film based on the play of the same

[47:15] name also by Tyler Perry. Also both obviously very familiar with. Yeah. So you guys know who this is.

[47:21] So I'll just, I'll give you a brief. This is just for the listener. You guys are familiar with Aunt

[47:24] April. She's an alcoholic nightclub singer. She can barely be bothered to take care of her orphaned

[47:28] niece and nephew until eventually she overcomes her traumatic history of abuse, finds a good man,

[47:34] recognizes that she needs to take care of these kids, uh, and kicks those bad habits.

[47:39] So that's Aunt April. Classic Tyler Perry stuff. I mean, basically I just gave you the plot in a

[47:43] nutshell essentially. Uh, so in terms of wickedness, where would you put Aunt April?

[47:48] Well, she's redeemed, uh, but it sounds like she was pretty wicked before then. I'll put her at a

[47:56] six, I guess. Okay. Uh, I'm, I'm going to go a little higher. I'm going to go seven because it

[48:02] sounds like, I mean, there is a redemption, but, uh, you know, it's a rocky, rocky road to get

[48:08] there. I'm going to go seven also, but I'm judging by Tyler Perry standards that way. I mean, by

[48:12] Tyler Perry standards, it's probably a nine, but because, uh, she, but eventually I think she

[48:16] prays and it helps. Uh, let's go to number two, coolness. Now I remind you, she is a nightclub

[48:22] singer. And it is Taraji P. Henson. Yeah. Naturally. Like that's cool already. And she

[48:29] can do bad all by herself. She doesn't need anyone's help to do bad. Does that, does that

[48:34] mean that she could, anyway, uh, I don't know, I don't know where he was, don't know where his

[48:40] mind was going. Don't want to know. It's a masturbation joke. Uh, I, what? I just, I don't

[48:48] know. There's only one aunt on this list. Who's okay with that. And that's auntie Mame. She's

[48:51] like, you can do it in my house. As long as the door's closed. It sounds like she's mean though.

[48:56] Like it sounds like she's cool, but it sounds like she's mean. You might say she's cool,

[49:00] but rude like Raphael. Yeah. I'm going to give her a six for this. I'm going to go. I'm going

[49:04] to go a little higher. I'm going to say seven because she is a nightclub singer and that's,

[49:09] and it's Tarashi. Yeah. I'm going to give her a seven also for that reason. Cool. But rude.

[49:13] Uh, what about wackiness? Cookiness? Nothing you've said so far would indicate

[49:18] kooky or wacky. And also she is appearing in a movie in which Medea, Tyler Perry's, uh, drag

[49:24] aunt, uh, drag a grandma character appears so that automatically everyone else is at a lower

[49:29] level of kookiness than, than, than Medea. Yeah. Yep. The, uh, the, the, the borders of reality

[49:37] have shifted when they're in the house on the borderlands. Yeah. And this one, yeah.

[49:43] Like I thought I was, uh, this was the sandbox that I was existing in, but, but it's much

[49:48] different. It's a little bit like if you were watching the movie spotlight and then one of

[49:51] the reporters was Fozzie bear and you're like, hold on a second. This isn't the movie I thought

[49:55] it was. Yeah, no, that's, those are all good reasons.

[50:00] In a way, you are pointing out one of, kind of, one of the great things about Medea as

[50:05] a character is that she is almost a Muppet, like she is internally Muppet territory.

[50:10] Oh, for sure.

[50:11] I, this sounds like, yeah, I'm gonna give it a two.

[50:15] Okay, Stu?

[50:17] Yeah, I think I'm gonna go two as well.

[50:19] It seems, she does not seem wacky.

[50:21] Okay, a two from Stu.

[50:22] I'm also gonna give, I'm gonna give a one.

[50:24] And especially her backstory is very, is very traumatic and very unfun.

[50:28] So, I'm gonna give her a one for wackiness.

[50:31] But okay, Dan, is it your turn to choose the category?

[50:35] Okay, so.

[50:36] Does it matter at this point?

[50:37] No, not really.

[50:38] But Dan, this is scientific measurement.

[50:40] Yeah, this is important.

[50:40] I could get kicked out of the AOC, the Ant Olympic Committee.

[50:45] So, it's not the famous AOC, it's the lesser known one.

[50:48] Okay, so, Dan, here are the numbers.

[50:51] Four, five, no, sorry, four, six, eight, and nine.

[50:55] Eight.

[50:56] Ooh, ruining a wedding by getting drunk.

[50:59] Do you think that, how, Ant April on this one.

[51:00] Oh, this sounds like a ten.

[51:02] It sounds like a ten to me.

[51:04] Yeah.

[51:04] What little I know.

[51:05] She wished you wish on this one, I think.

[51:06] A hundred percent.

[51:07] A hundred percent.

[51:08] Yeah, tens, ten, ten, ten.

[51:09] Once again, tens across the board.

[51:10] She's just that kind of ant.

[51:12] Okay, moving on.

[51:14] A very different kind of ant.

[51:15] This is Antiem from The Wizard of Oz, played by Clara Blandick.

[51:18] It's that Antiem.

[51:19] I shouldn't even have to tell you anything about her.

[51:21] You should know everything you need to know.

[51:23] It's one of the greatest movies ever made.

[51:25] Iconic character, iconic ant, Antiem, taking care of Dorothy.

[51:30] I would argue that she's an iconic ant,

[51:32] mostly by virtue of Dorothy saying Antiem, Antiem over and over again.

[51:37] She doesn't get a lot of, like, there's not a lot of time spent on who Antiem is as a character.

[51:44] Oh, I would disagree.

[51:45] I would disagree.

[51:46] She is caring.

[51:48] She's a good boss.

[51:49] She brings out crawlers to her workers.

[51:51] But she's also stern.

[51:52] She's like, get back to work.

[51:53] She makes Dorothy give her dog to Miss Gulch because the law says so.

[51:58] But then she says to Miss Gulch, the immortal lion,

[52:00] for years I've been waiting to tell you what I think of you.

[52:02] But being a Christian woman, I can't.

[52:04] And leaves the room in tears.

[52:06] I feel like she's a fully fleshed out character, nearly as much as, say, I don't know, Anna Karenina?

[52:12] I mean, not a lot of time spent, but they're, what?

[52:16] Sorry, what did you say?

[52:17] I compared her to Anna Karenina from the Tolstoy novel, same name.

[52:20] Not, who is a mom, not an aunt.

[52:22] It's not Anta Karenina or Anna Kareninant.

[52:25] No, no.

[52:25] I mean, I guess you're right that this is a great example of a lot being done with a little.

[52:29] So yes, yes.

[52:30] She makes the most of every moment.

[52:34] Okay, what's the first category?

[52:36] One, wickedness.

[52:39] Zero.

[52:41] I, I would argue that, that the fact that she's willing to kowtow to

[52:51] human law over what is right, I'm going to give her at least a two here.

[52:56] Two, okay.

[52:57] For the same reason, I'm going to give her a one, because otherwise she is the,

[53:00] she is the spirit of wholesome, all-American farm life, you know, in its greatest form.

[53:05] But you're right.

[53:06] When, when up against the monolith that is the law, she refused, she doesn't say,

[53:11] fuck you, Miss Gulch.

[53:13] And then what, shoot her in the head and then go on the lam?

[53:15] Thelma and Louise style with Dorothy and Toto?

[53:18] Leaving Uncle Henry to pick up the pieces of his shattered life?

[53:21] It would be a pretty good movie though.

[53:24] Would Christopher McDonald play Uncle Henry?

[53:28] Oh yeah, of course.

[53:28] You get back here, Annie M.

[53:30] You get back here.

[53:31] Yeah, that's the movie that should have been made instead of whatever that

[53:33] James Franco is the wizard movie was.

[53:36] Oh, Oz the Great and Powerful?

[53:38] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[53:38] And then, you know, and they drive over the rainbow at the end.

[53:41] You know, it's a different, it's a different sort of film.

[53:42] Yeah, yeah, they could do that.

[53:44] Um, that reminds, that reminds me, guys, my kids really want to go see Wonka when it comes out.

[53:48] Should I be dissuading them from this or should I just go with it?

[53:51] Because right now I'm just going with it.

[53:52] I'm like, fine.

[53:53] Why do I want to see Wonka?

[53:55] Have you let them watch the trailers and shit?

[53:57] No, they just know it exists.

[53:58] They love the original Willy Wonka movie.

[54:00] They love Timothy Chalamet.

[54:02] Yeah, because they've heard about his NYU exploits.

[54:06] They know, they know about, they know about how as a kid he used to sell

[54:09] personalized N64 controllers online.

[54:12] Like, I like him because he looks like he's about my size.

[54:15] Yeah, they're like, finally an actor my age.

[54:17] No, no, no, he's actually a grown man.

[54:20] Well, I mean, here's the thing.

[54:22] I saw the second Wonka trailer and I was like, you know what?

[54:25] If I release all of my knowledge of the, the, the Roald Dahl Willy Wonka

[54:32] and how Wonka's, that character exists.

[54:35] Like, if I just think of this as an entirely different thing,

[54:38] it looks like it could be charming because it's got, you know,

[54:42] Yeah, I think you're right.

[54:43] First Paddington director.

[54:45] If I don't, if I stop trying to compare it to the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka,

[54:49] I think you're right.

[54:50] So that takes us to category two, coolness.

[54:52] How cool is Andy M?

[54:54] I was going to say, like, if you're going to, if you're,

[54:56] if you're going to try and cast a movie to tie it in with the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka,

[55:00] you got to cast that Jeremy Allen White because that kid kind of looks

[55:03] more like Gene Wilder with his little owl face.

[55:06] Jeremy Allen White?

[55:07] I don't even know who that is.

[55:09] Yeah, but he's enormous.

[55:10] I don't want a Wonka who's like, he's not enormous.

[55:13] He's very short, but he's, he's, he's a wide short.

[55:17] Yeah, he's girthy.

[55:18] Yeah, he's short, but girthy.

[55:19] Yeah, that's not the Wonka in my mind.

[55:21] We call it yoked.

[55:25] We in the plate pushing.

[55:26] Yeah, in the plate stacking.

[55:29] It pushes the plates and stacks.

[55:31] So coolness, Aunt M coolness.

[55:33] She does know how to make crullers.

[55:35] That's not that cool.

[55:36] I think she's very low on the coolness.

[55:39] This is, she, you know,

[55:42] She's got a fucking good hang.

[55:43] My mom told me tales of her strict Methodist upbringing where

[55:48] dancing and cards were not allowed.

[55:50] And I'm sure you dance in a card.

[55:52] I don't understand.

[55:53] Like Alice in Wonderland.

[55:55] I'm sure Auntie M is kind of in that same area.

[55:59] So I think you're probably right.

[56:00] You give a one to this.

[56:02] Vibes are terrible.

[56:03] Give her a one.

[56:04] Okay.

[56:05] I'm going to give her a two, I guess.

[56:06] Cause she can make good crullers, but not looking good for Auntie M so far.

[56:10] Category three.

[56:11] This isn't going to go for too well for either.

[56:12] I think wackiness, kookiness.

[56:14] Oh yeah.

[56:15] Not very kooky.

[56:16] No, not in the world where you can go into another dimension and

[56:20] see like flying monkeys and crap.

[56:22] You know, when, when Dorothy's best friends are a talking scarecrow,

[56:26] a robot that, that keeps freezing up and a lot in a, in a cowardly lion.

[56:30] It's hard for me while she's literally in black and white.

[56:34] Yeah.

[56:35] And somehow, even if Medea walked into that world,

[56:38] she would still be the kookiest thing in the entire universe.

[56:40] Yeah.

[56:41] Yeah.

[56:42] One for kooky, I think.

[56:44] Yeah.

[56:44] Yep.

[56:44] Just the one.

[56:45] I think I'm actually going to give her a zero for that one.

[56:47] Oh boy, Auntie M.

[56:48] Not great scores for Auntie M in this arbitrary ranking system.

[56:52] So Stuart, or is it Dan?

[56:53] Which, uh, who's going to pick the category?

[56:55] Four.

[56:55] I will.

[56:56] I'm going to do it.

[56:56] Okay.

[56:57] Four, six or nine?

[56:59] I'm going to do four.

[57:00] Okay.

[57:01] How good should we be at referring to a story about your parents that your

[57:04] parents would prefer you not hear about?

[57:07] Oh.

[57:10] Like starting to say something and then your mom or dad being like,

[57:13] we don't need to tell that story.

[57:14] Hmm.

[57:15] I feel like Auntie M seems like the soul of Propriety.

[57:20] Yeah.

[57:20] I don't think she would, like anything a little untoward,

[57:23] she would naturally steer away from.

[57:26] I mean, she really, she can't even bring herself to insult the mean lady who

[57:30] just stole her niece's dog.

[57:32] So yeah, I think she's pretty controlled.

[57:34] I'm going to give her a zero to be honest.

[57:35] Yeah.

[57:36] Just a one.

[57:36] I'm going to do a one because like, I think there's some certain things that

[57:40] maybe her mouth would get ahead of her brain, but uh, yeah.

[57:43] I could see, you know what?

[57:44] I'll give her a one because I could see her telling a story where she's being

[57:46] judgmental about your parents.

[57:50] Okay.

[57:50] From Auntie M, there's only one place to go.

[57:52] That's right.

[57:53] Auntie Karai Housu from the film Housu played by Yoko Mirimida.

[57:57] Now this is the owner of the titular Housu, the house, uh, who, as you know,

[58:02] she died in World War II, waiting for her fiance.

[58:04] She has returned as a ghost who eats unmarried girls who come to her house.

[58:07] So category one, wickedness.

[58:10] How do you, how do you feel about this, Auntie?

[58:12] Pretty high.

[58:13] That's a high one.

[58:14] It's a high wickedness.

[58:15] I'll mention again that she eats girls.

[58:17] Yeah.

[58:17] Just eat girls.

[58:19] So yeah, I think it's partly maybe because she's become a supernatural character,

[58:26] but, uh, I'm still going to go with a nine.

[58:28] Yeah.

[58:29] Okay.

[58:29] A nine.

[58:29] And so what about you?

[58:30] I'm giving a 10 for this one.

[58:31] Yeah.

[58:31] I'm doing 10 all the way, baby.

[58:33] Not just eating girls.

[58:34] She eats unmarried girls.

[58:35] So she's not only eating human beings, but she's also reinforcing a patriarchal

[58:39] system.

[58:40] Yeah.

[58:41] Hey, you're safe.

[58:41] If you don't get married, if you get married.

[58:44] So a category two, coolness.

[58:46] Now this might surprise you guys.

[58:47] I'm gonna give her a 10 on this one because she's pretty, she's got a real style to her.

[58:51] She's got an eyeball in her mouth.

[58:52] Like why not?

[58:53] Yeah.

[58:54] I mean, she lives in essentially peewee's playhouse, but evil.

[58:58] I can't get over the sort of like good hang part of being cool.

[59:04] Murdered, but I'll still give her a seven, which is a mark of how strong.

[59:08] You don't want to sit down for a slice of watermelon as they eat, as they do in house.

[59:13] Sue and to be turned into a ghost or, or have your body torn apart.

[59:16] Yeah.

[59:16] No, I'd be okay with that.

[59:18] Yeah.

[59:18] I'll do an eight.

[59:19] Okay.

[59:20] You know, maybe I'll give her a nine.

[59:21] I forgot about the hangout part.

[59:22] The nine.

[59:23] Okay.

[59:23] And get torn to pieces.

[59:25] That's fine.

[59:25] Category three, wackiness, kookiness.

[59:28] Where does she rate on the wackiness scale?

[59:29] I've got to go 10 on this because if this is a public service announcement for listeners,

[59:36] if you haven't seen house, so you got to see house.

[59:39] It is, you know, it is imagine.

[59:43] Dragons.

[59:50] An older horror movie that is as much like pop art collage as done by

[59:56] like a very imaginative kindergartner, as it is.

[1:00:00] thing else and get some sense of I was reading about it well while researching this episode and

[1:00:06] they're talking about how the the director was doing special effects prep work not being sure

[1:00:10] how they would come out and afterwards was like some of the special effects didn't come out the

[1:00:14] way that I thought they would like it really feels like someone who it really feels like uh people

[1:00:18] at play you know trying to come up with a story it makes the thing so yeah i'm gonna give it so

[1:00:22] it's and and that ant sets a wacky tone so i'm gonna say i'm gonna say wacky so i'm gonna say 10

[1:00:27] also that's a 10 for me guys didn't realize absolute wacky the album behind me as we talk

[1:00:34] is the soundtrack to house uh which i okay guys we got just one more ant left and then i'm gonna

[1:00:44] take a moment to tally the scores we got one more and oh before that actually it's a lucky dip i'm

[1:00:48] sorry we have the lucky dip category for uh for anti from house two uh there's two categories

[1:00:52] left number six or number nine whoa nice uh i'm gonna get a six six how good would she be at

[1:01:00] taking you on a whirlwind tour of the world probably bad yeah i think that she might be

[1:01:07] bound to that house is uh that's a very good point yeah i'm making as many japanese ghosts

[1:01:13] are she is that she is stuck in one physical location man she yeah man she bit this category

[1:01:19] i think i'm gonna give her a one because like what a high what a contender kaleidoscopic powers

[1:01:24] like maybe there's some supernatural way but i'm i'm grafting a straw i'm just saying but that's

[1:01:28] why okay yeah i'll say maybe a two yeah okay so that's a one a two i'm gonna give a two also

[1:01:34] because i think maybe she could convince you you're traveling through some kind of hallucinatory thing

[1:01:39] but you'd eventually you'd realize that you're just there with a giant cat or something okay

[1:01:43] so now it's our last ant guys this is a non-fictional character we're going to be

[1:01:50] talking about now that's right it's that ant of all ants edith big edie bouvier biel from

[1:01:56] gray gardens she is in real life the aunt of jackie kennedy uh she lives in squalor with

[1:02:01] her daughter little edie they are the stars of gray gardens a real life documentary from the

[1:02:06] mazels and uh they are what's to say about her she lives in a house full of raccoons and human

[1:02:12] waste and detritus uh she spends most of her time in bed she loves canned corn likes to cook it on a

[1:02:18] hot plate uh and really annoys her daughter little edie by not paying by not buying into her daughter's

[1:02:25] projects and also not just not being friendly to her a lot of the time so that's big edie can i

[1:02:32] admit something and that is that i've never seen this movie i i this is a safe space i started to

[1:02:38] watch it i i think that for me steward admitted he'd never seen uh arsenic and old lace you can

[1:02:44] you can admit you've never seen great i know how artfully this movie is is made like by reputation

[1:02:50] so it's it's obviously at a different level than um uh reality tv but yeah but like it has the same

[1:03:00] problem for me where i'm like i don't want to watch this thing that i'm going to find

[1:03:07] sad and i know is real unlike a tragedy that i'm choosing to watch but i can comfort myself

[1:03:14] yeah you're like great exact same low deck down under or whatever no yeah exactly no and dan is

[1:03:20] making a brave stand in favor of closing his eyes to the troubles of the world and living in kind of

[1:03:25] like a fantasy land where it's a safe space do i have to consume it as entertainment yeah rather

[1:03:33] than just you know dealing with it because i exist in the world i'm sorry dan that i literally

[1:03:38] got real in this game so let's go to category one wickedness uh i don't think she's very

[1:03:46] wicked i mean i guess she kind of mistreats her the other one right the other one her daughter

[1:03:52] a person yeah um i'll give her a five i guess yeah okay there's some darkness there i'll definitely

[1:03:59] i'll go a little higher i'll say six okay maybe that's being uh that's because i'm conflating it

[1:04:04] with the documentary now episode were they were they were they kill someone at the end yeah yeah

[1:04:11] as someone who's seen the movie and has also also saw the broadway musical gray gardens

[1:04:15] where the first act is before is them when they are younger and the second act is them in during

[1:04:21] the time of the movie i'm gonna give her it's hard because it's i'm gonna give her a seven you know

[1:04:27] why by the time of the movie you are not seeing her at the height of her wickedness because it's

[1:04:32] her decisions in many ways that have led them to this place but by the time she's in the movie

[1:04:36] she's much she's not fully in control of her faculties and things like that but taking so

[1:04:41] you know what actually since we're just about her in the movie i'm gonna give her a six um chapter

[1:04:45] two category two not chapter two this is not a book category two coolness guys how cool is biggie

[1:04:51] not to me not very cool i will say i think that she's a gay icon yeah i mean well i think little

[1:05:00] lady is really more the gay maybe big idiots too little lady is the one who has like the

[1:05:04] revolutionary outfit for the day and things like that i feel like she's more yeah but well i mean

[1:05:08] okay i adjacent at least by being in the movie so i'm gonna do a four for this before yeah it was

[1:05:14] little ed that uh that jinx monsoon portrayed in a iconic snatch game performance on ruffles drag

[1:05:20] that makes sense so stewart what would you say for coolness pretty low i'm gonna say low i'm gonna say

[1:05:25] like a two the thing is it's pretty punk to basically live in an abandoned house the problem

[1:05:31] is when it's your house that you own it's no longer an abandoned house it's just a house you're

[1:05:35] not taking care of and it's also pretty punk to kind of like be a maker and diy and kind of like

[1:05:41] make a space better and also to have rich relatives that's true it is also very punk to

[1:05:47] have rich relatives and yet still live still live as if you crawled out of a sewer yeah so i'm gonna

[1:05:52] give her i think i'm gonna give her a three i'm gonna split the difference between you guys okay

[1:05:57] category three i feel like she can clean up here wackiness kookiness this is a lady who routinely

[1:06:01] feeds raccoons inside her house yeah but is there's a line where like where does where does

[1:06:07] kookiness end and mental illness that's not for me to answer what do i what am i the dsm for i don't

[1:06:13] know dan yeah i mean like i just think that there's a sad tinge to this that uh we'll we'll

[1:06:19] keep it down as at an eight for me but okay that's fair that's fair uh yeah i don't know i i think a

[1:06:26] nine like i'm i'm also gonna go in nine dan i'm just proud of you for playing the game even though

[1:06:30] you have clear moral and ethical issues with it okay lucky dip category there's only one category

[1:06:36] left that's number nine is it how good would she be at calling you big guy in a way that makes you

[1:06:41] more and more uncomfortable the older you get i feel to me that seems a little vulgar for her

[1:06:51] big guy i don't know uh but i i can also see it happening so i'll just say a five okay so what

[1:06:59] about you yeah i mean i think there's uh i think there's a possibility there but i think it's

[1:07:04] i think it's pretty low i'm gonna say four okay i'm gonna say a six on that one all right for

[1:07:10] the same reason it doesn't seem like her but at the same time she says a lot of a lot of kind of

[1:07:14] things that you wouldn't expect someone in that position to say sure um all right everybody those

[1:07:19] are the categories now it's time for me to tally these scores okay everybody i've tallied the

[1:07:30] scores we know now who is i don't know i'd say the best aunt but certainly the aunt with the

[1:07:34] highest score from these yeah the most anti-ist yeah the one who's the most of an ant the most

[1:07:40] pure ant like ant in all of these the anti-ist have some fucking courage with your your game

[1:07:47] thanks i just with your horror monsters one of the categories were so much clearer like a positive

[1:07:51] and negative in this one it's there's a little different it doesn't always apply to everybody

[1:07:54] but our winner this is going to be a big surprise this is i think the winner is the ant that all

[1:08:00] three of us probably have maybe the least experience with that's right anti-mame wins

[1:08:05] with 93 points overall wow we have the least experience but you guys i i think that is the

[1:08:11] the classic ant right like if you're thinking about it yeah she's got six legs got a huge

[1:08:18] dump truck butt got weird mandibles oh right yeah exactly yeah she serves the hive and

[1:08:25] unfortunately i thought this was going to be the winner but anti-house who second place 88

[1:08:30] that lucky dip category really took her up dude yeah if she had had committing a murder oh man

[1:08:36] i think she would have been close to a perfect score and 2024's ant competition's going to be

[1:08:42] so much tighter i bet and sadly yes it's sadly sadly the last place lowest score

[1:08:50] ntm oh a pillar of american film just yeah it's funny and and second i guess i'll say an ass

[1:08:59] uh second to last place of course is uh antiope uh wonder woman's ant and then right above her

[1:09:05] is uh the boosters from arsenic arsenic old lake who they should be down near the bottom

[1:09:09] they're murderers but uh they're there's the ants that i wanted i would have wanted to have the most

[1:09:15] for myself growing up ntm and either of the ant maze

[1:09:19] either bottom or middle of the pack it's to be dramatic i guess it's just again

[1:09:23] our our cultural conception of ant is someone maybe a little kookier and ookier than you would

[1:09:31] like to have as your aunt personally yeah it's kind of like how uh we met we have the you know

[1:09:35] the crazy uncle uh as like a character in people's lives and it's like that's not someone you want

[1:09:40] around you all the time that's someone you want just kind of sometimes livening up family

[1:09:46] yeah yeah i don't know if you want to live in that like unsung heroes world where you're you're

[1:09:50] with your you're out of the ordinary uncles you know yeah um so guys thank you so much

[1:09:56] for joining me on this and it's been a real pleasure

[1:10:00] explosion of ants. We explored the Antiverse and we came up with our ant like line line

[1:10:08] agent. We went up against the ants. We were versus the ants and we came out on top. Yeah,

[1:10:14] we did it. This has been the Flophouse Mini and it's also been probably a waste of your

[1:10:19] time. I've been Elliot Palin. Thanks so much for joining us. We are a maximum fun podcast.

[1:10:24] Please check out the other maximum fun podcast. They are also very fun. Some of them are even

[1:10:28] less weighty than this one, if you can believe it. And some of them are much more so. Thanks

[1:10:32] to our producer, Alex Smith. You may find him online as Howell Doughty. You may find

[1:10:36] him online as Lydia Burrell. He is a man of many names, many identities, many lives. And

[1:10:42] I mostly want to thank you, the listener. If you like this episode, please leave us

[1:10:47] a positive review wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you didn't like this episode,

[1:10:51] stick with us. Yeah, we don't do this all the time. Yeah, yeah, that's not my problem.

[1:10:56] You ever thought about that? Yeah, yeah. But if you if we're not if you don't feel like

[1:11:00] we're being too hostile, please leave us a good review somewhere for the Flophouse. I've

[1:11:04] been Elliot Palin. I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stuart Wellington. And thank you to all

[1:11:09] those ants out there. Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum. Maximum fun. A worker owned

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FH Mini 92 - Auntie War

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