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Ep.#409 - Mafia Mamma, with Hallie Haglund
Transcript
[0:00]
On this episode, we discuss Mafia Mama, part of our series of best movies of the year.
[0:31]
Hey everyone, welcome to the Flop House. I'm Dan McCoy.
[0:35]
I'm Stuart Wellington.
[0:37]
I'm Elliot Kalin.
[0:39]
And I'm Hallie Haglund.
[0:41]
That's right, we've got a Hallie Haglund here.
[0:43]
Surprise, Hallie.
[0:46]
Are you surprising Hallie, or are you surprising everyone else that Hallie's here?
[0:51]
We're surprising everyone else that Hallie's here.
[0:53]
What did you get me?
[0:54]
Hallie didn't know she was going to be on the show. We're in her room now. We just woke her up.
[0:58]
I've had dreams like this. Nightmares.
[1:04]
It is kind of like we're surprising Hallie, because Audrey and I were in the middle of watching Mafia Mama,
[1:11]
and she was texting someone who was like, would Hallie like this movie?
[1:15]
And Audrey asked me that question. I'm like, shit, we've got to get Hallie on this episode,
[1:21]
because this would be a great episode for her.
[1:23]
Hallie's what's known as a tastemaker.
[1:25]
So last minute we contacted her.
[1:27]
And I'm grateful. I'm so grateful.
[1:30]
Does this make up for all the bullshit movies we've made you watch?
[1:33]
Almost.
[1:34]
Almost, yay!
[1:36]
Like the real Mafia Mama, she doesn't give up praise easily.
[1:39]
So this is the flop house we watch a bad movie and talk about it,
[1:42]
except this week when we watch Mafia Mama, a movie that has loomed large in my imagination.
[1:47]
A movie that as soon as I heard about it, I'm like, is this a joke movie?
[1:51]
And then I saw it was an actual movie.
[1:53]
When the strike started and we decided we were not going to do new movies for the duration of the strike,
[1:57]
Stuart just kept saying, when the strike's over, we'll do Mafia Mama, right?
[2:00]
When we're done with the strike, we'll do Mafia Mama.
[2:02]
It was the one movie that the flash, not on his cultural radar.
[2:05]
Mafia Mama was the big tentpole release.
[2:08]
I was flying back from Athens, Greece, not Athens, Ohio, just to make it clear.
[2:14]
And everybody else was watching Mafia Mama,
[2:18]
and I had to watch the uncut version of Infinity Pool instead.
[2:23]
Just on my laptop.
[2:25]
Torture.
[2:26]
You had to?
[2:27]
Because that's another movie you talked about for a long time.
[2:29]
All of that just sprayed out all over the rest of the planet.
[2:32]
It's funny that the main reason you wanted to watch that uncensored cut
[2:35]
is because you knew that there was an actual penis in this cut.
[2:39]
Well, not an actual penis because I believe it was a prosthetic, but there was a penis shot.
[2:42]
I'll do my own research, Dan.
[2:45]
It's funny that that was the main draw of the unrated cut,
[2:49]
but you were specifically watching it on a plane.
[2:51]
You're like, everyone's going to see this penis shot.
[2:54]
I'm like, wasn't the theatrical cut missing this?
[2:58]
Didn't you need to see a big fat rope of jizz shooting out of a prosthetic wiener?
[3:03]
I don't know what this movie is.
[3:06]
So we're talking about Mafia Mama today, or are we talking about the uncut Infinity Pool?
[3:12]
Let's talk more about rope jizz.
[3:15]
Gladly.
[3:18]
Are you running out of jizz too quick?
[3:20]
Pick up rope of jizz.
[3:22]
It's the long strand you need.
[3:25]
That's the porn strategy, rope of jizz.
[3:30]
Come like a butterfly, jizz like a bee.
[3:33]
No, Mom, I said nerd rope.
[3:36]
Not jizz rope.
[3:39]
That's a candy, remember?
[3:41]
One of my kids got a nerd rope, and every day we're like, you can have one piece of candy.
[3:46]
He holds that up, he goes, this one?
[3:48]
No, that's way too big.
[3:51]
Well, then how will he ever eat it?
[3:54]
That's the catch-22 of nerd rope.
[3:57]
The thing is, they never should have left Jeffrey Epstein alone with that nerd rope in his cell.
[4:02]
They thought he was just going to eat it.
[4:04]
That's why they left him for a while.
[4:06]
They said, I can't watch this.
[4:07]
It's going to be so sticky and gross.
[4:09]
That nerd rope's big.
[4:10]
Everyone's going to hate this episode.
[4:12]
It's a big candy.
[4:14]
Guard, guard, can I have one piece of my Halloween candy?
[4:18]
Which one, Jeffrey?
[4:23]
This is going to be the worst episode ever.
[4:25]
I should have known when I had to stop him from tagging himself with that candy necklace last time.
[4:30]
So Mafia Mama, this is all relevant, right?
[4:33]
Stuart, I wanted to ask you, what was it about Mafia Mama that so struck your fancy, that captured your imagination?
[4:40]
Well, I mean, it's an alliterative title, Daniel, so I think that helps.
[4:44]
Same reason you liked Mamma Mia.
[4:47]
I love when an actor that I consider to be, I don't know if I'd say A-list, but an actor that I consider to be a serious actor with a big range.
[4:58]
Certainly A-list talent.
[4:59]
One of the best actors working.
[5:01]
Yes.
[5:02]
Who takes on a role that looks like it's a movie poster from an episode of 30 Rock.
[5:10]
It does seem like if someone said in an episode of 30 Rock, they were like, oh yeah, that's the movie where Toni Collette's a suburban mom who inherits the mafia.
[5:16]
You'd be like, yeah, that makes sense as a joke.
[5:19]
And it's also like I love the idea of I'm a sucker for ladies getting their groove back movies.
[5:27]
And I feel like you're also a sucker for the kind of women that show up in mob movies.
[5:31]
Brassy, loud talking, aggressive, you know?
[5:35]
Mm-hmm. Yep.
[5:36]
All those things, you guys got me dead to rights.
[5:39]
Book me, put me in jail.
[5:41]
It's about fetishes, I get it now.
[5:42]
Yeah, to be fair, it's not a movie I was looking forward to, but when I found out that Monica Bellucci was in it, I was like, all right, then I'll watch this with at least a certain amount of enjoyment.
[5:51]
Well, and not to tip my hand, but as I was watching it, I'm like, why am I enjoying this more than I expect?
[5:57]
And I think it's because it is very reminiscent to me of the sort of period where they were making these kinds of comedies, very high-concept comedies that they would plug a star into.
[6:07]
And then success or failure, they would end up on HBO being played over and over again during the daylight hours.
[6:14]
And so I'm printed on them.
[6:17]
Yeah, Dan, when you were watching it, you were texting us that it was giving you real Nuns on the Run vibes.
[6:21]
Yes.
[6:22]
Nuns on the Run, King Ralph, If Looks Could Kill.
[6:25]
Exactly.
[6:26]
Basically all the best movies.
[6:28]
In the 90s, there were a lot of high-concept comedies about someone being placed in a position that was a silly position for them to be.
[6:35]
Yeah.
[6:36]
Sister Act.
[6:37]
Sister Act, very much so.
[6:38]
Fishes Out of Water were big in the 80s.
[6:40]
Yeah.
[6:41]
Probably because of the gutting of the EPA.
[6:44]
It was a big environmental problem.
[6:45]
People were taking fish out of water and just leaving them on the street.
[6:48]
Yeah.
[6:49]
And the EPA had to step in.
[6:50]
That's why you can go to jail for doing that.
[6:51]
They had to raise the penalty to stop it.
[6:53]
Yeah, and the EPA shows up and you're like, I did it as a goof.
[6:56]
It's funny.
[6:58]
And they're like, oh, well, if you do it as a joke, it doesn't count as a crime.
[7:01]
Look at that miss struggling to figure out how to fit in in the air.
[7:05]
Yep.
[7:07]
He's trying his skills.
[7:08]
Those won't work.
[7:09]
Only a few fish out of water comedies have the same stakes as taking a fish out of the
[7:13]
water, which is nearly instant death.
[7:16]
But this was one of them.
[7:19]
I never thought I'd see a movie with Tony Collette running from this many bullets.
[7:24]
This is a gruesome movie, too, for what it is, but we'll get it.
[7:27]
Shockingly gory.
[7:28]
It is shockingly gory.
[7:30]
Maybe I did like this movie.
[7:31]
Obviously, I enjoyed this movie with a hearty bowl of pasta that I made myself because I
[7:36]
don't know about you guys.
[7:37]
I like the full immersive experience.
[7:40]
Okay.
[7:41]
What kind of pasta was it?
[7:43]
It was cavatappi with broccoli rabe, pesto, spinach, some sun-dried tomatoes.
[7:51]
If it's a real Italian thing, they don't just say pasta.
[7:53]
They tell you what kind it is.
[7:56]
Unless they say macaroni and gravy and you're like, that's not what that is.
[7:59]
It's spaghetti and tomato sauce.
[8:01]
Why are you calling it this?
[8:02]
Yeah.
[8:04]
We are introduced to Kristen, played by Tony Collette.
[8:08]
Kristen is an L.A. mom who has kind of lost her mojo.
[8:13]
She works, I guess, for a pharmaceutical company doing advertising.
[8:18]
She's in marketing for pharmaceuticals, yeah.
[8:20]
At the most misogynistic pharmaceutical company you can imagine.
[8:23]
They are all assholes.
[8:24]
Nobody respects her.
[8:26]
They don't take her seriously.
[8:28]
They love jet skis.
[8:29]
I want to clarify that my hearty laugh there wasn't at the misogyny.
[8:33]
It was about remembering how they love to put jet skis in all of their ads.
[8:36]
Yeah, they do love to put jet skis in their ads.
[8:38]
Every ad has to have someone on a jet ski, yeah.
[8:40]
Her son, Dominic, is going away to college in Portland.
[8:44]
That's very far and that's tough for her.
[8:46]
And her husband, Paul, who's in H-
[8:48]
Not that far. It's the same coast.
[8:49]
I mean, yeah.
[8:50]
Unless it's Portland, Maine, I guess.
[8:51]
That's a far way to go.
[8:52]
I think it's all relative, Elliot.
[8:53]
Just like her husband, Paul, who's her relative because he's her husband.
[8:58]
He's an aging rock star.
[9:00]
She's only related to her husband by marriage because otherwise there's some problems with that relationship.
[9:03]
I think the more significant relativity, if you will, is who her great-grandfather is.
[9:08]
But we'll get to that in a second.
[9:09]
Just grandfather, right?
[9:10]
Well, we'll get to it.
[9:11]
Oh, is it?
[9:12]
Yeah.
[9:13]
Her husband's an aging rock star.
[9:14]
He's kind of a man baby.
[9:16]
And he is also cheating on her with her son's guidance counselor.
[9:20]
And you can tell this is a certain kind of movie because she catches them having fully clothed sex.
[9:25]
This is not a movie for the period.
[9:27]
Yeah, Elliot's mad that we don't get to see fucking buttholes and shit.
[9:33]
I just always think it's funny when characters are – at first, watching that scene, I had to realize like, oh, wait.
[9:38]
They're having sex right now because they were in the position for sex, but they were both wearing all of their clothes.
[9:43]
Elliot, I will explain that sometimes it's hotter to be wearing clothes because it feels like you're doing something a little bit.
[9:50]
No, but it's literally hotter.
[9:51]
You're getting so sweaty.
[9:52]
Hallie's eyes are lighting up.
[10:00]
No, you're going to say it feels like you're doing something naughty and they were doing
[10:05]
something naughty.
[10:06]
They were cheating.
[10:07]
He was double hot.
[10:08]
In the same house.
[10:09]
Yes.
[10:10]
Hot square.
[10:11]
And Tony Collette is like, it's bad enough you're cheating on me, but in your clothes.
[10:14]
In your clothes.
[10:15]
I can think of now you walking around in your sweaty jeans all day after this.
[10:19]
How can I ever see you in clothes again?
[10:21]
Yeah.
[10:22]
And she's like, I'm probably going to have to clean the fucking cum stains out of your
[10:25]
jeans later.
[10:26]
The cum rope.
[10:27]
Yeah.
[10:29]
OK, so I don't I don't want that to be the running theme of this episode, please.
[10:33]
I don't want that to be the rope that runs through it.
[10:35]
Relax.
[10:36]
Just your life.
[10:37]
Just flow.
[10:38]
You got to go with it.
[10:39]
Thinking about the Robert Redford movie, a cum rope runs through it.
[10:41]
And of course, and of course, the other Robert Redford movie, three days of the cum rope.
[10:50]
Oh, God.
[10:52]
OK, so she gets a phone call from Rome.
[10:57]
It is a woman named Bianca played by.
[10:59]
That's right.
[11:00]
Monica Bellucci.
[11:01]
One of the great stars.
[11:02]
Not to be confused with Monica Bellucci.
[11:05]
I assume Jim Bellucci is wife or sister or daughter or niece.
[11:11]
Very distant relative.
[11:12]
Or drag persona.
[11:13]
Who knows?
[11:14]
If there was a movie with and maybe this exists and I just don't know about it, in which case
[11:18]
I'm going to have to I'm going to have to contain my excitement.
[11:22]
If there was ever a movie with Monica Bellucci and Michelle Yeoh in it, I would go bananas.
[11:28]
That would be so exciting to me.
[11:29]
I was talking about his fetishes.
[11:30]
Yeah, exactly.
[11:31]
Well, just like I feel like they're they're two kind of like world class stars of international
[11:35]
film, you know, of a foreign film who have made in the United States.
[11:37]
I want to see them in a movie now.
[11:39]
Maybe it's the mob versus, I don't know, a Hong Kong cop.
[11:43]
As long as they can be buddies, I want them to be buddies.
[11:45]
Eventually they'll be buddies.
[11:46]
Yes.
[11:47]
Perhaps more.
[11:48]
Mm hmm.
[11:49]
I mean, they'll be buddies.
[11:50]
But I feel like they're going to be in-laws.
[11:51]
She cannot.
[11:52]
OK.
[11:53]
She cannot do a scene where it doesn't feel like she's about to make out with you.
[11:57]
We'll talk about one of those later on.
[11:59]
I kept thinking her.
[12:00]
Yeah.
[12:01]
Yeah.
[12:02]
She's she's she because she's got a certain intense amour feeling to her.
[12:05]
Yeah.
[12:06]
OK.
[12:07]
So that's amour.
[12:08]
Mm hmm.
[12:09]
Yeah.
[12:10]
Yeah.
[12:11]
Did you notice the scene where the moon hit her eye like a big piece of pie?
[12:12]
That's actually not amour.
[12:13]
That's abuse.
[12:14]
I did notice that.
[12:15]
The moon hits her in the eye.
[12:16]
That is abuse.
[12:17]
And you should not have to accept it.
[12:18]
And you can stay at my apartment tonight.
[12:20]
I thought I'd fallen asleep, though, after watching this in moonfall and just combined
[12:24]
the movies together.
[12:25]
Here's the question.
[12:27]
When the moon hits your eye like a big piece of pie, do big piece of pies routinely hit
[12:30]
you in the eye?
[12:31]
I just fucking realized that's what my doctor asked me.
[12:35]
Yeah.
[12:36]
The moon struck.
[12:37]
Yeah.
[12:38]
Discoveries.
[12:39]
Well, the moon strike is more of a mania, like a love mania that the moon causes.
[12:42]
Right.
[12:43]
And a werewolf.
[12:44]
Because Nicolas Cage is kind of a werewolf in that movie.
[12:46]
You know what?
[12:47]
I never paid attention to the like.
[12:48]
I was always thinking it was about getting hit with a pizza.
[12:51]
Until now.
[12:52]
Yeah.
[12:53]
We're all learning stuff today, guys.
[12:54]
Yeah.
[12:55]
That's why you proposed to your husband by throwing a pizza at his face.
[12:58]
Yeah.
[12:59]
You said that's a morning, bitch.
[13:00]
This is what love is.
[13:01]
Deal with it.
[13:02]
This is what love is.
[13:03]
No, eat it.
[13:04]
In your clothes.
[13:05]
So, Stuart, what did she learn, Toni Collette's character?
[13:10]
Oh, yeah.
[13:11]
She learns.
[13:12]
Toni Collette learns that her grandfather has passed away and that she needs to go to
[13:16]
Rome to settle the estate, like, right now.
[13:19]
She needs to get on a plane right now.
[13:20]
And that's a long flight.
[13:22]
But she's resistant.
[13:23]
She has a conversation with her friend Jenny, who's a lawyer, when they're at like a boxing
[13:27]
class.
[13:28]
And this is where we learn.
[13:29]
Self-defense class.
[13:30]
It's like self-defense fitness.
[13:31]
Yeah.
[13:32]
Yeah.
[13:33]
And this is where we learn Kristen's overriding want-goal mission in this movie.
[13:38]
If this is a musical, she'd sing a song about it.
[13:41]
Summarized as eat, pray, fuck.
[13:43]
And if you guys know me, anything about me, you know this is my credo as well.
[13:47]
I mean, the pray part?
[13:49]
That's the credo.
[13:51]
Elliot, my church, it's the gym.
[13:54]
Prayer for me.
[13:55]
Pushing plates, baby.
[13:56]
So.
[13:57]
Pushing plates.
[13:58]
That's like a Pushing Tens sequel.
[13:59]
But it's about being a waiter.
[14:00]
I don't hold airplanes anymore.
[14:01]
I work as a waiter at a restaurant now.
[14:02]
I want to ask something about, like, this self-defense thing.
[14:03]
Was it just me or, like, it sort of gets paid off later in the movie?
[14:04]
It very much gets paid off.
[14:05]
Yeah, it does.
[14:06]
Yeah, it does.
[14:07]
Yeah.
[14:08]
Yeah.
[14:09]
Yeah.
[14:10]
Yeah.
[14:11]
Yeah.
[14:12]
Yeah.
[14:13]
Yeah.
[14:14]
Yeah.
[14:15]
Yeah.
[14:16]
Yeah.
[14:17]
Yeah.
[14:18]
Yeah.
[14:19]
Yeah.
[14:20]
Yeah.
[14:21]
Well, let me tell you guys about this.
[14:24]
Completely.
[14:25]
When she uses what she learned to defend herself?
[14:26]
Yeah.
[14:27]
Hold up.
[14:28]
You mean with the stiletto heel?
[14:29]
Yeah.
[14:30]
Yeah, that's fine.
[14:31]
But I kept expecting there to be a more specific part where, like, taking the gun away paid
[14:38]
off.
[14:39]
She does it, like, multiple times.
[14:40]
Kind of.
[14:41]
Yeah, but not in the way shown in the movie.
[14:44]
Not every movie does the move have to match up exactly.
[14:45]
She was like saying the same thing.
[14:48]
Yeah.
[14:49]
Yeah.
[14:50]
But look, maybe I'm crazy.
[14:52]
I thought that it pays off clumsily because it is not, it does not look enough like, like,
[14:58]
I expect in visual language for it to, like, be a mirror if this is going to be, like,
[15:03]
a payoff gag.
[15:04]
But.
[15:05]
Dan, I never thought I was going to say this.
[15:06]
I think you are holding Mafia Mama to a higher standard of sophistication than it needs to
[15:11]
be held to.
[15:12]
All right.
[15:13]
All right.
[15:14]
Fair enough.
[15:15]
It was also doing a lot of heavy lifting in that scene.
[15:16]
Yes.
[15:17]
Yeah.
[15:18]
A ton.
[15:19]
It was already an homage to Single White Female.
[15:21]
Mm hmm.
[15:22]
Yep.
[15:23]
Now, in this boxing scene, Toni Collette is doing very bad punches.
[15:28]
And I think and she at this point is like one of the things I love about this movie
[15:33]
is how Toni Collette is like fully committed to exactly what this movie is.
[15:37]
At this point, she is like super goofy and silly and like her voice for this is perfect.
[15:42]
The accent she's using is perfect for it.
[15:45]
She's two thumbs up.
[15:46]
OK.
[15:47]
So she flies to Rome at the airport in Rome.
[15:49]
She bumps into Lorenzo, a sexy Italian gentleman who we learn later is recently divorced, and
[15:55]
he gets her phone number.
[15:57]
She also meets her drivers, Dante and Aldo, who give very good comedic performances throughout
[16:04]
this entire movie.
[16:05]
Two thumbs up to those guys.
[16:06]
I would say with the material they're given, they do they do a fine job.
[16:09]
OK.
[16:10]
Again, Elliot's on hater patrol.
[16:12]
I get it.
[16:13]
But I didn't walk waving like Dante and Aldo were the breakout stars, you know.
[16:16]
It's also I mean, I guess this is a type of character that always works on me.
[16:21]
I always enjoy like the goon that turns out to be like surprisingly supportive.
[16:27]
Yeah.
[16:28]
And there's like a kind of like a tall, skinny one and like a shorter round one like that's
[16:33]
the best.
[16:34]
That is classic.
[16:35]
Yeah.
[16:36]
People like Lady and the Tramp.
[16:38]
Exactly.
[16:39]
Just like Lady and the Tramp.
[16:40]
Yeah.
[16:41]
Lady, the tall one or the.
[16:42]
No, the goons.
[16:43]
Oh, the goons.
[16:44]
So she is taken to the funeral.
[16:51]
She gets dressed in the car.
[16:52]
Take me to the funeral.
[16:55]
There's me with the mourners.
[16:58]
There she meets.
[16:59]
She meets Bianca.
[17:00]
She also meets her cousin, Fabrizio, who has a neck tattoo, looks like a mafioso type guy,
[17:07]
does not seem to like her.
[17:08]
Classic hothead.
[17:09]
Classic mafia hothead in all these movies.
[17:11]
Yeah.
[17:12]
Very mercurial.
[17:13]
Very mercurial.
[17:14]
Yeah.
[17:15]
Very Mercutio.
[17:16]
Like, actually, he's more like Tybalt.
[17:17]
He's more like Tybalt.
[17:18]
Yeah, he's way more like Tybalt.
[17:19]
Yeah, he's like Tybalt.
[17:20]
Tybalt's death was slow enough.
[17:21]
Yeah.
[17:22]
If it had ended there.
[17:23]
That's the.
[17:24]
I can do the whole thing.
[17:25]
OK, never mind.
[17:26]
Sorry.
[17:27]
Sorry.
[17:28]
Thank you for your apology.
[17:29]
So the funeral procession.
[17:30]
American Rascal, everybody.
[17:31]
What a stinker.
[17:32]
The funeral procession gets ambushed.
[17:33]
There's a shootout.
[17:34]
And they are forced to flee, I believe with the casket, although I don't think that's
[17:35]
the casket.
[17:36]
I don't think that's the casket.
[17:37]
They get ambushed.
[17:38]
There's a shootout and they are forced to flee, I believe with the casket, although
[17:43]
I don't remember them taking the casket with them.
[17:45]
Maybe they shrink it down and put it in their pockets.
[17:48]
You know what?
[17:49]
This is our first big action sequence.
[17:50]
This is not like an important thing to me.
[17:53]
Like, where's that casket?
[17:54]
It's a dead body, Dan.
[17:55]
I will say, this was, I found this to be a somewhat underwhelming action sequence, but
[18:00]
that's OK.
[18:01]
Yeah.
[18:02]
I fell asleep during it.
[18:03]
OK.
[18:05]
I find myself, as I get older, getting less and less interested or excited by shootout
[18:10]
scenes in movies.
[18:11]
Like, I kind of start to glaze over when it's just guns firing.
[18:14]
And yet, martial arts or hand-to-hand fighting scenes, I still am in awe.
[18:18]
Elliot, I agree with you, but I've been there forever.
[18:21]
This is why, this is a controversial position.
[18:24]
I understand all of, like, the plot reasons and the influence reasons this is an important
[18:29]
movie.
[18:30]
I've never been as much of a diehard fan as a lot of people who are like, that's the best
[18:33]
action movie.
[18:34]
Oh, you mean a fan of diehard.
[18:35]
Yeah.
[18:36]
OK.
[18:37]
Because it's like, so much of it is...
[18:38]
A diehard fan of what?
[18:39]
Yeah.
[18:40]
Because, like, so much of it, when the action actually happens, there's some good suspense
[18:43]
scenes, but when the action happens, it's just shooting at each other, and I want, like,
[18:47]
a sequence, man.
[18:48]
I want, like...
[18:49]
Yeah.
[18:50]
Well, it's like, I just started watching Raiders of the Lost Ark with my older son, Sammy,
[18:53]
which he has not seen before.
[18:54]
We're about halfway through it now.
[18:55]
And it's, watching again, it's like, oh yeah, these are like sequences.
[18:58]
Like, a thing happens, then a thing happens, and even, and when Indiana Jones shoots somebody,
[19:03]
usually it's a punctuation point to something, or it's the scene with the swordsman, which,
[19:08]
gratifyingly, Sammy thought was hilarious.
[19:10]
Like, I didn't have to explain that joke to him, and he goes, I want to see that again.
[19:14]
I'm like, alright, it's questionably racist, but alright, we'll watch it again, it's a
[19:18]
great moment.
[19:19]
Yeah, I think diehard just really needs a sequence where John McClane goes to, like,
[19:23]
a droid factory, and like, falls onto a conveyor belt, and he has, like, died.
[19:27]
He's hopping from different platforms, yeah, sure.
[19:28]
Wouldn't that have been, oh, that'd be great.
[19:30]
OK.
[19:31]
You know we, that's not what we're talking about.
[19:33]
So we're, now we're back at the villa, Bianca and Fabrizio kind of explain the situation.
[19:39]
This villa is, and I'll say, this villa is also, it's classic lady movie affluence porn.
[19:44]
Like, it's enormous, it's beautiful, it's- There's a bed outside in the garden.
[19:49]
Yeah, it's your idea of what Italy is.
[19:51]
A canopy bed.
[19:52]
A canopy bed, yeah.
[19:53]
Outside.
[19:54]
Yum, yum, yum.
[19:55]
It's not like it never rains in Italy.
[19:56]
It is mostly a dry climate, I guess, but, you know.
[19:58]
But, you know, something's gotta happen.
[20:00]
hydrate that terroir.
[20:04]
That's a wine term.
[20:05]
That's right.
[20:06]
That's a wine term.
[20:07]
Terroir.
[20:08]
Yeah.
[20:09]
Appropriate.
[20:10]
So she learns that she is part of the Balbano family, which is a crime family that also
[20:15]
make wine poorly as a front.
[20:17]
And that they are-
[20:18]
Very different than being part of the Balaban family, which is a movie studio and acting
[20:23]
dynasty but not involved in crime as far as I know.
[20:25]
Oh, interesting.
[20:26]
Can you explain more about that?
[20:28]
Well, actually, I want to know a little bit more about that.
[20:30]
Who are the other people in the dynasty?
[20:31]
Well, because Bob Balaban's uncle, I think it was either his uncle or his grandfather.
[20:36]
I don't think it was his father.
[20:37]
It was like a big studio mogul.
[20:38]
He's a Nepo baby?
[20:39]
Nepo baby.
[20:40]
Yeah.
[20:41]
Bob Balaban is a Nepo baby.
[20:42]
Wow.
[20:43]
You wouldn't guess it.
[20:44]
He looks like a baby.
[20:45]
I know.
[20:46]
There you go.
[20:47]
He has a beard, Dan.
[20:48]
I mean, he's a baby with a beard.
[20:49]
Wait, wait.
[20:50]
I need my Bob Balaban.
[20:51]
Yeah.
[20:52]
Give me my Bob Balaban.
[20:53]
I'm with Dan.
[20:54]
You can put a beard on a baby.
[20:55]
It's the law.
[20:56]
It's it.
[20:57]
It's Halloween.
[20:58]
There are babies with beards all over the place.
[20:59]
Okay.
[21:00]
So they, the Balabanos have a rival crime family, the Romanos.
[21:06]
Not to be confused with the Roma.
[21:09]
Yeah.
[21:10]
The Romanos.
[21:11]
Thank you.
[21:12]
Oh, everybody loves this mafia family.
[21:13]
And that they're in a mafia feud.
[21:16]
Okay.
[21:17]
No.
[21:18]
No.
[21:19]
Not a feud.
[21:20]
That's a good Ray Romano, Dan.
[21:21]
Yeah.
[21:22]
That's pretty good.
[21:23]
Yeah.
[21:24]
That's pretty good.
[21:25]
It's a little.
[21:26]
Is that Ernie?
[21:27]
I'm rooting with the Balabanos.
[21:28]
Is that Kermit?
[21:29]
Mine is becoming Kermit.
[21:30]
We've got to wipe out our enemies to establish supremacy in the cocaine trade.
[21:31]
That's Kermit as a mob boss.
[21:32]
As he's explaining to Miss Piggy before they have really hot sex.
[21:33]
I told you, Miss Piggy, you can ask me about my business once.
[21:34]
And he goes, ah, Kermy, are you a mob boss?
[21:35]
No, of course not, Piggy.
[21:36]
And then as she goes, I'm a mob boss.
[21:37]
I'm a mob boss.
[21:38]
I'm a mob boss.
[21:39]
I'm a mob boss.
[21:40]
I'm a mob boss.
[21:41]
I'm a mob boss.
[21:42]
I'm a mob boss.
[21:43]
I'm a mob boss.
[22:44]
I'm a mob boss.
[22:45]
And they don't understand pork.
[22:46]
Well, three-year-olds understand pork.
[22:47]
I don't know.
[22:48]
You can put a three-year-old in charge of a sausage store and see what happens.
[22:52]
OK, I have a two-year-old.
[22:53]
I have a four-year-old.
[22:54]
Let's put them together and see if they half understand pork.
[22:57]
That's a good point.
[22:59]
That's a good idea.
[23:01]
We call that mommy math.
[23:03]
She watches a video message from her grandfather explaining that she has inherited this mafia
[23:10]
family.
[23:11]
She is the new Dawn of this dynasty.
[23:13]
There's some comedy bits in there.
[23:15]
Fabrizio is super angry.
[23:17]
He should be the next Dawn, obviously.
[23:20]
And Kristen, you know what?
[23:21]
She's resistant.
[23:23]
She came here to eat, pray, fuck.
[23:24]
She did not come here to run a crime family.
[23:27]
She says, I want my eat, pray, fuck so many times in this movie.
[23:30]
So many times.
[23:31]
Yeah, so many times.
[23:32]
Eventually, it does pay off.
[23:34]
I was not wild about the eat, pray, fuck as a joke, but I liked the payoff for it.
[23:38]
I loved the payoff.
[23:39]
I lolled.
[23:40]
I laughed out loud.
[23:43]
There's a bit where one of her guards, Aldo, explains that it's a play on eat, pray, love
[23:50]
and is familiar with the book.
[23:51]
He's clearly been inspired by the book, was touched by it.
[23:54]
So she agrees to help with the negotiations for peace, but she makes a stipulation that
[24:01]
she'll do it as long as she can have her fling with Lorenzo, the hot guy she met at the airport.
[24:06]
So she meets...
[24:07]
With us?
[24:08]
Getting...
[24:09]
No.
[24:10]
Let's not.
[24:11]
I feel like we're entering rope territory again, and I do not want to go there.
[24:20]
No entry.
[24:21]
Hallie, what were you going to say about Lorenzo?
[24:24]
No, I was just...
[24:26]
Nevermind.
[24:27]
Let's just leave it at Lorenzo's Island.
[24:29]
Lorenzo's Island?
[24:30]
Welcome to Lorenzo's Island.
[24:31]
Lorenzo's Island.
[24:32]
Lorenzo Lamas?
[24:33]
You have your own island?
[24:34]
Well, I snuck onto the island.
[24:35]
He's a renegade.
[24:36]
He is a renegade.
[24:37]
Yeah.
[24:38]
Now, do you want me to use my laser pointer to point out where you could lose weight?
[24:39]
Nah, I don't think so.
[24:40]
I'll probably go.
[24:41]
So she meets...
[24:42]
After a little bit of a makeover, where she gets dressed up to look like a mafia Donya...
[24:49]
Donya?
[24:50]
Don...
[24:51]
Whatever.
[24:52]
Don.
[24:53]
Mama.
[24:54]
Mama.
[24:55]
Mafia Mama.
[24:56]
My mistake.
[24:57]
I keep forgetting.
[24:58]
Mafia Mama.
[24:59]
Mafia Mama.
[25:00]
Mafia Mama.
[25:01]
Mafia Mama.
[25:02]
Mafia Mama.
[25:03]
Mafia Mama.
[25:04]
Mafia Mama.
[25:05]
Mafia Mama.
[25:06]
My mistake.
[25:07]
I keep mispronouncing it.
[25:08]
She meets Don Carlo, who is the rival mob boss, at a restaurant.
[25:09]
I feel like there are tons of, like, understated funny moments.
[25:14]
Like, the way she was dressed before her makeover, it was like she was out of, like, a Chico's
[25:19]
catalog.
[25:20]
That was so funny.
[25:21]
Yeah.
[25:22]
Yeah, it was funny.
[25:23]
It was, like, all earth tones.
[25:24]
Also, I mean, Audrey pointed this out.
[25:26]
I was not as attuned to it, but she was totally right, like, the way that over the course
[25:31]
of the movie, her costume changes.
[25:33]
It becomes more, first it becomes, like, you know, more chic and more looking directly
[25:38]
like Monica Bellucci.
[25:39]
And then she, like, sort of gets her own style at the end.
[25:42]
Yeah.
[25:43]
Yeah.
[25:44]
By the time she has that.
[25:45]
She looks like Bridget Fonda in Single White Female.
[25:47]
Oh, wow.
[25:48]
There's one specific outfit, the white, okay.
[25:51]
Yeah.
[25:52]
Single white outfit.
[25:53]
Single white outfit.
[25:54]
So, she meets the rival mob boss at a restaurant from Negotiations.
[25:58]
She is very.
[25:59]
No more.
[26:00]
No more of that, Alec.
[26:01]
She was very nice.
[26:02]
Which I mean, later.
[26:03]
Bring it up again later so I can say, oh, no, not again.
[26:04]
No, it's okay.
[26:05]
Stuart's getting mad.
[26:06]
Stuart's getting mad.
[26:07]
I like it.
[26:08]
Sorry, Stuart.
[26:09]
I'm not getting mad.
[26:10]
I'm.
[26:11]
So, she goes.
[26:12]
She goes to the meeting with the other mob head.
[26:14]
Oh.
[26:15]
Oh, we're doing the summary still.
[26:16]
So, yeah.
[26:17]
I mean, here's a podcast.
[26:18]
I love the way that Stuart gets mad about being interrupted is so different than the
[26:23]
way Dan gets mad about being interrupted.
[26:25]
I love both of them equally.
[26:28]
So, she meets the rival mob boss from Negotiations at a restaurant.
[26:31]
She's very nice to the waitress.
[26:33]
That's going to pay off later.
[26:35]
She's a lot of gnocchi.
[26:36]
Yeah.
[26:37]
She eats a lot of gnocchi.
[26:38]
She's like super goofy and she gets drunk and she's like horny because this is a hot
[26:42]
mob boss and they kind of hit it off.
[26:44]
He seems to agree to her negotiations.
[26:45]
She's at that time in her life when she's hitting that hormonal burst, right?
[26:49]
Yeah.
[26:50]
That turns older women into sexual predators.
[26:52]
Yeah.
[26:53]
Her libido is at max.
[26:54]
Ellen's getting into Harry Knowles territory.
[26:57]
I hope not.
[26:58]
I really hope not.
[27:00]
I like that Toni Collette here, like honestly, is not afraid to play it a little dumb too.
[27:08]
She is so into like the idea of this like vacation in her own world and like whatnot
[27:13]
and she is just kind of dumb.
[27:16]
There are times when she is so almost deliberately obtuse about the danger of the situation she's
[27:21]
in and what it is called for that sometimes I found it funny and other times I was like,
[27:25]
okay, at this point, a normal human being would know that this is like a dangerous situation.
[27:29]
You can't just stop.
[27:30]
You can't just keep talking about how much you want to have sex with this one guy.
[27:34]
I get it, but I love the obliviousness in a weird way.
[27:38]
I mean, maybe it's very American about her, you know?
[27:40]
Yeah.
[27:41]
So they go off to a hotel room to hook up.
[27:42]
They're making out.
[27:44]
Things are looking good for her.
[27:46]
Her little mission statement.
[27:47]
Looks like she's maybe going to have sex for the first time in three years.
[27:50]
In three years.
[27:51]
He insists.
[27:52]
She ate and she's going to fuck.
[27:53]
And I think she I'm assuming she'll pray for a bathroom that she doesn't eat too loudly
[27:58]
or something in order.
[28:00]
She prayed that he wouldn't he wouldn't hear her fart while she was in the bathroom.
[28:03]
So which is a joke that they make later.
[28:06]
That's true.
[28:07]
Later, I laughed.
[28:08]
Yeah.
[28:09]
He says that he.
[28:10]
He attempts to poison her with some poisoned limoncello and with poison that he snuck up
[28:20]
his butthole, which is hilarious because it's like you probably didn't have to hide
[28:24]
up there.
[28:25]
I know he got no but like very small and also he goes through such an elaborate set of series
[28:30]
of facial expressions when he was removing that vial of poison when he pulls it out clean
[28:34]
as a whistle.
[28:36]
It is shiny and glossy.
[28:37]
Not in my.
[28:38]
I would assume if you pulled out your butt, it would be at least a little dirty.
[28:42]
He would assume like you've never done it.
[28:44]
But what I'll probably say is he's probably making use of a tushy.
[28:48]
One of our sponsors.
[28:49]
This episode.
[28:50]
So he.
[28:51]
It's a great product.
[28:52]
It's a great.
[28:53]
I mean, the lower part of the colon stays pretty clean in between bowel movements.
[28:57]
This is this is this could be done.
[28:59]
Yeah.
[29:00]
So, yeah.
[29:01]
So, of course, a duty detective.
[29:04]
Yeah.
[29:05]
Yeah.
[29:06]
He gets distracted.
[29:07]
And for duty, I only poop on people who also poop on other people.
[29:13]
Yeah.
[29:14]
Yeah.
[29:15]
Yeah.
[29:16]
That's yeah.
[29:17]
That's Dexter's MO.
[29:19]
So, of course, the Limoncello's get switched around.
[29:22]
Carlos reveals his hand only to to get poisoned and die.
[29:28]
Her guards kill the other guards.
[29:30]
They clean up the mess.
[29:32]
Fabrizio shows up, chops off Don Carlos hand, and they send the severed hand to the Romanos
[29:39]
as a message.
[29:40]
What do you think they do with that hand afterwards?
[29:43]
They just throw it out.
[29:44]
Do they bury it?
[29:45]
Give a little funeral.
[29:46]
What do they do?
[29:47]
You know, they do a little funeral or they turn it into some kind of like they add it
[29:50]
to like what, like a reliquary or something that they carry into battle.
[29:54]
They could shellac it and use it as like a thing.
[29:57]
What?
[29:58]
Or they could get a.
[30:00]
made out of it, the way you can get your placenta made into jewelry, or maybe they eat it, maybe
[30:07]
it's really good for you.
[30:08]
Like the placenta, a lot of nutrients in the hand.
[30:09]
Yeah.
[30:10]
Exactly.
[30:11]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[30:12]
Okay.
[30:13]
So I imagine they put it in a tiny little coffin and there's a little grave that they
[30:17]
give it, you know.
[30:18]
Yeah, it's a little box that has five little fingers.
[30:21]
Yeah, it's like a wooden glove, yeah.
[30:24]
Yeah, it's a little wooden glove with a little wooden lid.
[30:26]
Oh, it's like one of those shoes you wear that's like just your foot.
[30:31]
Yes, and they make people look like they're walking on a gorilla feet, yes, yeah.
[30:34]
And it's got a lot of makeup on to make it look like it's still alive.
[30:38]
They're like, oh, it just looks like the hand is sleeping.
[30:41]
Yeah.
[30:42]
Yeah, yeah.
[30:43]
And the grandkids are like, no, no, I don't want to look at the dead hand.
[30:47]
They're like, no, it looks okay, don't worry about it.
[30:49]
It's okay, it's okay.
[30:51]
Okay, so back at the villa, Toni Collette, Kristen gets a business lesson into all the
[30:57]
various illegal dealings of her crime family.
[31:00]
She is put off by this.
[31:03]
And then she insists it's time for her to go on a date with Lorenzo, which she does
[31:07]
at his home with his aunt there.
[31:10]
And his aunt makes a big, big pasta meal and keeps feeding Aldo and Dante, her guards.
[31:17]
Dante is loving it.
[31:18]
Violently forcing them to eat more.
[31:19]
Oh, it's great.
[31:21]
To me, this is comedy.
[31:23]
One guy loves the pasta.
[31:24]
The other guy, it's too much pasta.
[31:28]
Comedy and tragedy right there in one scene.
[31:30]
The date goes really well, but she gets notified.
[31:34]
She has a Zoom meeting from her day job.
[31:36]
So she has to run out before making out with this hot guy.
[31:40]
We've all been there, folks, right?
[31:43]
Yeah.
[31:44]
Tell me about it.
[31:46]
I mean, I guess you can.
[31:47]
It's a podcast.
[31:48]
We can talk about that stuff.
[31:49]
But it's not really a relationship.
[31:51]
Yeah.
[31:52]
Okay.
[31:53]
So she sends away her guards.
[31:54]
She has to do this Zoom meeting.
[31:55]
It's no big deal.
[31:57]
And one of them, I think Dante, has to take care of his sick mom.
[32:02]
Of course, while she's setting up for this Zoom meeting.
[32:03]
Who can't afford her medication.
[32:04]
Yes, who will pay off later.
[32:05]
Can't afford her medication.
[32:06]
Yeah.
[32:07]
And, I mean, it makes these characters more relatable to me, a person living in the modern
[32:12]
world where medication is too expensive.
[32:13]
Who's not a mafia mama.
[32:14]
That we have the power.
[32:15]
That we know of.
[32:16]
That's true.
[32:17]
And it's very possible that Stuart is a mafia mama.
[32:20]
Maybe your grandfather just hasn't died yet.
[32:22]
Oh, yeah.
[32:23]
Just waiting for your grandfather.
[32:25]
Yeah.
[32:26]
While she is setting up the Zoom, a assassin that the Romano sent shows up.
[32:32]
And he attacks her while she is muted and on the Zoom call.
[32:37]
And her boss and coworkers are not paying attention to her at all.
[32:41]
So there's a little bit of comedy about them talking about how cool these jet skis are
[32:45]
while she is fighting for her life.
[32:47]
And objectifying the women in the photographs online that they are putting together for
[32:54]
this pitch.
[32:55]
Yeah.
[32:56]
The stock photos.
[32:57]
The stock photos.
[32:58]
I could not remember the phrase stock photo.
[32:59]
Yeah.
[33:00]
At first, I was like, this is a little on the nose with like how absurdly sexist it was.
[33:05]
Although, you know, more fool me for expecting any subtlety from mafia mama.
[33:08]
Called mafia mama.
[33:09]
Yeah.
[33:10]
But as it went on and like everything was just putting someone else on a jet ski.
[33:15]
I was like, OK, I like this stuff.
[33:18]
And the stuff they're saying is pretty over the, you know, it's so over the top that the
[33:22]
attack by the assassin gets, I guess, a little rapey in a way that I don't like.
[33:28]
I did not.
[33:29]
It felt like it was a drop of arsenic in the middle of what could have been otherwise a
[33:31]
fun scene of attempted murder.
[33:34]
There's a threat of sexual violence, which she responds by taking off her heel and stabbing
[33:39]
him in the groin and eye repeatedly.
[33:43]
And it's pretty gross.
[33:46]
While repeating what she said in the self-defense scene, some would say paying off that scene.
[33:50]
Yeah.
[33:51]
In a very legitimate way.
[33:53]
I was talking about the taking away the gun part of it.
[33:55]
I understand.
[33:56]
Anyway.
[33:57]
So she murders this guy.
[33:58]
Pops his eyeball out.
[33:59]
It's very gross.
[34:00]
It's nice and gross.
[34:01]
It's like on camera.
[34:03]
His eyeball just squirts out under the heel of his shoe on camera.
[34:06]
Love it.
[34:07]
And that's one of the things I like about this movie is like it doesn't seem to care
[34:10]
about the normal, normal tonal categories.
[34:13]
Yeah.
[34:14]
Fair.
[34:15]
Yeah.
[34:17]
They just want to have fun.
[34:18]
You know what?
[34:19]
They just want to have fun.
[34:20]
It's a goof.
[34:21]
Because this is a feminist tome.
[34:22]
Girls just want to have fun.
[34:23]
And that's the movie.
[34:24]
In a nutshell.
[34:25]
Yeah.
[34:26]
I'll get to that later.
[34:27]
And you're closing arguments.
[34:31]
So she has to-
[34:32]
Girls just want to have fun.
[34:36]
We've all heard it.
[34:37]
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, especially ladies.
[34:41]
Because they know what I'm talking about.
[34:43]
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
[34:47]
All the single ladies put their hands up.
[34:50]
I'm no big city, Beyonce, but seems to me, if you like it, you better put a ring on it.
[34:59]
I rest my case.
[35:01]
You're what makes me want to shoop justice.
[35:05]
Can I get some fries with that shake, shake booty?
[35:15]
Let's hear it for the boy.
[35:17]
Let's not hear it for the boy, ladies and gentlemen.
[35:21]
Okay.
[35:22]
This has been fun.
[35:24]
Let's get back to the movie.
[35:27]
Of course, she hops back on the Zoom call having just murdered a guy with her heel.
[35:32]
And she is promptly fired by her boss.
[35:36]
And she flips them the bird.
[35:37]
And she no longer has that day job to worry about.
[35:39]
Closing that book of her life forever.
[35:44]
And that Mac book of her life, I think, forever.
[35:46]
And then she storms out, leaving the dead body on the ground.
[35:49]
And she heads right over to Lorenzo's to get her groove back.
[35:53]
She's like, break my back, sucka.
[35:57]
Any other questions?
[35:59]
You can see my confusion at the use of that idiom, I think.
[36:05]
Yeah.
[36:06]
She doesn't actually say that, Dan, in the film.
[36:08]
No.
[36:09]
No, no.
[36:10]
She says, my back, my back.
[36:13]
I can understand what it means from context clues.
[36:17]
It was not one I was familiar with.
[36:19]
So I'm learning something today.
[36:20]
Put it more in your language, Dan.
[36:22]
She's telling the driver to put up the partition.
[36:23]
Okay.
[36:24]
Yeah.
[36:25]
Okay.
[36:26]
Sure.
[36:28]
So she then goes to meet with the Romanos.
[36:30]
They have a peace talk.
[36:32]
She makes sure everybody's eating gelato.
[36:35]
And she achieves peace.
[36:37]
That was a very funny joke also, when she insists on the gelato because it has five stars.
[36:43]
And she's just trying to eat her, pray fuck.
[36:45]
Yeah.
[36:46]
Yeah.
[36:47]
They're going to go somewhere else.
[36:48]
And she says, no, I want to eat at this gelato place.
[36:49]
Yeah.
[36:50]
And I'm the boss.
[36:51]
Yeah.
[36:52]
Finally starting to embrace.
[36:53]
She's owning her power as a woman.
[36:55]
Yeah.
[36:56]
As a mama.
[36:58]
Yeah.
[36:59]
I mean, being a mama at this point is not, is unrelated to her center power, which is
[37:03]
the violence inherent in organized crime.
[37:05]
But you know.
[37:06]
So she, and you guys are right.
[37:07]
At this point she has earned respecto from her enemies and her, and her team.
[37:14]
She then has.
[37:15]
Even from Fabrizio.
[37:16]
Yeah.
[37:17]
Very briefly.
[37:18]
She has a very horny meeting with Fabrizio on her outdoor daybed where he is like getting
[37:24]
super close.
[37:26]
And at one point he licks her finger and puts one of his, uh, rings on her head rings.
[37:31]
Yeah.
[37:32]
Uh, I thought it was like a Jaguar or something.
[37:33]
Oh, was it Jaguar?
[37:34]
Yeah.
[37:35]
Cause they're doing like cat sounds.
[37:36]
Oh, that's right.
[37:37]
That doesn't make it should have been a wolf.
[37:38]
That's the, it's the Roman.
[37:39]
No, but then they make funny jokes about espresso machines with the noises they're making, like
[37:45]
not the verb.
[37:46]
Oh, the, the, the, the other thing.
[37:48]
But he, in case we forgot the brutality of the previous scene, he mentions that pieces
[37:52]
of the assassins test scrotum were found in his eye socket.
[37:55]
And I tell that for breezy is just so enamored of, of whatever brutality she, she, uh, uh,
[38:01]
inflicted on him.
[38:02]
I really laughed at that.
[38:03]
How he, he's like, I think they respect you cause it was so, so grotesque or whatever
[38:08]
it was.
[38:09]
And he's like, uh, and she is obviously shy.
[38:12]
And she's also wearing a pretty cool little outfit.
[38:15]
It's like lingerie under a sport coat.
[38:16]
I love it.
[38:17]
Um, and then Bianca shows up and we have another horny meeting.
[38:20]
Her outfit is very white queen, which she's wearing right now.
[38:23]
Yeah.
[38:24]
Yeah.
[38:25]
That's probably key.
[38:26]
I mean, like Monica Bellucci is crawling all over her, sitting on top of her, like, and,
[38:30]
and this is where we learned that Monica Bellucci, we learn a little bit about her backstory.
[38:34]
Right.
[38:35]
And that she has a fake metal leg.
[38:37]
I wonder if that's going to matter later.
[38:40]
Um, so after having these conversations, this is when Kristen decides I'm going to be, she
[38:48]
something in Bianca's story, uh, gives her an idea and she comes up with a plan to be
[38:54]
a good mob boss.
[38:55]
Can I tell you what it was in her story specifically that Monica Bellucci, she tells the story
[38:59]
about how she says your grandfather was a mob boss, but he also did good things.
[39:02]
When I was a kid, I lost my leg in an accident and other kids made fun of me, but he, one
[39:07]
day he just showed up with the top of the line prosthetic leg.
[39:10]
And since then, I guess it's been updated many times.
[39:13]
So she's saying you can do this for people too.
[39:14]
That's the power of that.
[39:15]
That's the power of the mob dance dance resistance the whole time.
[39:22]
She keeps being like, I can't do this because I'm a good person.
[39:25]
I'm a good person.
[39:26]
And that's when, you know, is telling us that when governments fail us, what we need is
[39:34]
local crime Lords, benevolent dictators gathered power themselves through this means.
[39:43]
I also want to say Kristen's resistance is a great Lin-Manuel Miranda.
[39:47]
So excellent work Allie.
[39:51]
So after coming up with this plan, we get a cool little montage that covers the next
[39:55]
couple of months.
[39:56]
That's going to, that's like her, uh, stealing prescription drugs.
[40:00]
And then like giving them away or like selling them at a reasonable price.
[40:04]
It's them like improving the winemaking at their vineyard and also her going
[40:09]
on a bunch of dates with Lorenzo.
[40:11]
Stuart, is it, is it dead or alive?
[40:14]
Or is it versus where they, where they are killing people and then sending
[40:17]
the money to poor kids in Africa?
[40:19]
That's dead or alive too.
[40:21]
And at the end of the montage, they sprout a white and black angel wings.
[40:26]
That's right.
[40:26]
Cause that, that was the sequence that I was, I was, this was reminiscent of to
[40:30]
me because it's like, we're criminals for good.
[40:33]
We're doing good.
[40:34]
Yeah.
[40:34]
We're good criminals.
[40:35]
Yeah.
[40:35]
Yeah.
[40:36]
Except it doesn't, isn't filled with stock footage of children playing.
[40:41]
Okay.
[40:42]
Uh, okay.
[40:43]
But the thing is, is that this happiness can't last forever.
[40:47]
Paul shows up in Italy.
[40:50]
Thatcher.
[40:51]
Oh, he interrupts a lovely date and he causes quite a bit of friction with Lorenzo.
[40:57]
Who not the kind of friction Kristen wanted with Lorenzo.
[40:59]
No, Chris, Kristen wants to, uh, Paul, uh, Lorenzo wants Kristen to open up.
[41:04]
He wants to go to her home.
[41:05]
He wants to learn more about her.
[41:07]
Um, and he's, he's got some trust issues stemming from his ex-wife
[41:11]
that is made up we'll find out later, but he claims to have trust issues.
[41:16]
Um, not see that coming.
[41:18]
Well, they had done a background check, so they didn't see it coming either.
[41:21]
Um, yeah, so she's not coming, but not in the way that we're talking about.
[41:26]
It's not come roping.
[41:27]
Uh, uh, and, and this is right after Lorenzo tells Kristen that he loves her.
[41:31]
Right.
[41:31]
He loves her.
[41:32]
Yeah.
[41:32]
Yeah.
[41:32]
Um, so she stands up to Paul.
[41:34]
Truly the moon has hit his eye like a big pizza pie when it comes to Kristen.
[41:39]
Uh, she stands up to Paul and is like, you got to pay your own way back to LA
[41:44]
and he leaves and we're like, that's probably the last we're ever going to
[41:46]
see of him.
[41:47]
That's not going to be the case.
[41:48]
Um, and then she, she takes Bianca's side and she explains her plan.
[41:52]
Now that everything's going so good, she's going to walk away.
[41:55]
She's going to give it all up for a man.
[41:58]
Record scratch.
[41:59]
What?
[42:01]
I mean, if the thing that she was giving up, wasn't a life of crime, I would, I
[42:05]
would be like, what, but she should give it up.
[42:07]
It's not a thing that can only lead to trouble in the end.
[42:11]
Mafia films and TV shows have always taught me that being a mobster is only
[42:18]
good.
[42:18]
There are no downsides.
[42:19]
Yeah.
[42:20]
Tony Soprano.
[42:21]
Only good things.
[42:23]
Christopher Maltasanti.
[42:24]
Only good things happen.
[42:25]
Michael Corleone.
[42:26]
Just a life without a life of pleasure without any anxiety or stress.
[42:30]
Yeah.
[42:30]
Good fellas, man.
[42:32]
That, that looked super fun.
[42:34]
Running away from helicopters.
[42:36]
Yeah.
[42:36]
It does seem that by like, towards the end of the movie, like, like she is, has
[42:42]
pivoted mostly into legitimate, uh, wine selling.
[42:46]
Although I do feel like, I don't know.
[42:48]
I'm not, I'm not a mafia person, but I feel like it would be difficult to divest
[42:52]
yourself completely from that life.
[42:55]
That's really the, it feels like you either make a clean break and run away or
[42:59]
you are always entangled with it.
[43:00]
I thought the saying was, uh, when I'm out, they just keep letting me stay out.
[43:06]
They respect my boundaries.
[43:08]
Just when I thought I was out.
[43:10]
I was good night, folks.
[43:12]
Then he sweeps up the spotlight and then puts it into his cab.
[43:16]
The end question mark.
[43:18]
And then it says, no, it is the.
[43:24]
Okay.
[43:24]
So she sits down with his hand, reaches in and erases the question mark.
[43:28]
Yeah.
[43:29]
Puts an exclamation at like, I think like a coffee shop or a restaurant or
[43:33]
something, she sits down with all the other bosses.
[43:35]
Uh, she is going to break the news that she's walking away.
[43:39]
She gives them all, um, muffins that she baked.
[43:41]
Goodbye muffins.
[43:42]
Yeah.
[43:43]
The, the, the meeting gets pretty heated and then it gets, well, they're mad at
[43:49]
her, they're mad at her because that her, her good, good stuff is, is cutting
[43:53]
into their business.
[43:55]
Yeah.
[43:56]
Um, and then it's not like, they're like, Kristen, no, don't go.
[44:00]
We love you.
[44:00]
That's not the, that's not the tone.
[44:02]
So it gets heated, uh, but before the bullets start flying, it gets
[44:06]
raided by the police led by gasp.
[44:09]
Lorenzo is a cop and his aunt, who's also a cop, which means
[44:14]
where they living together.
[44:15]
Are they also roommates?
[44:16]
Like what?
[44:19]
Is she even his aunt?
[44:21]
Maybe not.
[44:22]
Maybe they're a boyfriend, girlfriend.
[44:23]
I mean, probably not.
[44:24]
It seems unethical for your aunt to be your boss.
[44:26]
If you're in the police, I mean, well, let's say you're in the police.
[44:29]
You don't have to be any member of the police.
[44:32]
You, uh, maybe one of the other guys in the police.
[44:35]
I don't know their names.
[44:36]
You're Stuart Copeland.
[44:38]
Sure.
[44:38]
You're Stuart Copeland.
[44:39]
I assume, uh, son of Aaron Copeland and you, and you're like, oh, my father,
[44:44]
Douglas, my aunt's going to take over the band and everyone's like, that doesn't
[44:48]
seem right that you would have an extra in with it, with the boss.
[44:50]
I don't know.
[44:51]
I feel like if it were.
[44:53]
His uncle, you might be singing a different tune.
[44:56]
That tune I would be Roxanne because it's the police and they'd be like,
[45:02]
well, every move she makes, I'll be watching your aunt.
[45:06]
I'll be watching you.
[45:09]
I'll be watching.
[45:09]
You're in town.
[45:10]
That's what I meant to say.
[45:11]
The, the, for the, what off Broadway show did it ever go went to
[45:14]
Broadway at some point, right?
[45:16]
From what, 25 years ago,
[45:21]
listeners at home, listeners at home.
[45:22]
Look up when you're in town, ran.
[45:24]
And if it was Broadway or off Broadway, send me the information at
[45:29]
yell it out to the heavens and God will get it to me.
[45:32]
Yeah.
[45:33]
Go tell it to the Marines.
[45:35]
Yeah.
[45:36]
Tell it on the mountain.
[45:38]
Send in the cloud.
[45:43]
Don't look in the basement.
[45:45]
Don't look back either.
[45:46]
And don't look now.
[45:48]
Don't speak.
[45:49]
Never let me go.
[45:50]
Don't stand so close to me.
[45:54]
Uh, okay.
[45:55]
So we also learned that Lorenzo isn't Lorenzo.
[45:58]
He's Rudy.
[45:59]
Uh, not the footballs.
[46:01]
A football guy.
[46:01]
No, not at all.
[46:02]
He's not, not Rudy Huxtable.
[46:04]
No, not either of those Rudy's.
[46:06]
And he has a grudge against the Balbono crime family because his family was
[46:10]
killed while he was playing soccer and he missed a goal.
[46:14]
Good joke.
[46:14]
That's a good joke.
[46:15]
Everybody.
[46:16]
Uh, Christian gets arrested along with everybody else that didn't get killed.
[46:20]
Uh, the head of the Romano family gets his fingers blown off and one
[46:23]
of the fingers lands in her hair.
[46:25]
That's pretty funny.
[46:26]
Um, she is, they start playing the Aerosmith song while they're
[46:31]
staring into each other's eyes.
[46:33]
Yeah.
[46:33]
Yeah.
[46:34]
The song from Armageddon.
[46:35]
Armageddon.
[46:35]
One of, one of many little musical Easter eggs.
[46:41]
Okay.
[46:44]
She's a whisked away to trial magical.
[46:47]
It would be if you cracked open an egg and music started playing.
[46:50]
Oh, that would be very magical.
[46:52]
Yeah.
[46:53]
It's like something out of a, uh, something out of like a, I don't know,
[46:57]
like a, like a Tim Burton film, you know, something like, although in life,
[47:05]
she has a head, that's a giant egg with a, with a little hat on it.
[47:07]
I was on Jordan.
[47:08]
Just to go and we're talking about anyone who missed my recent appearance
[47:13]
on Jordan, Jesse go, where we talked about Tim Burton's fetish for huge
[47:16]
heads with little hats on and we did impressions of Tim Burton, where he
[47:20]
is talking to hell about how he wants her to put a little hat on her head.
[47:23]
Yeah.
[47:25]
Okay.
[47:25]
So, uh, her, the time between being arrested and going to trial seems very
[47:31]
short, uh, a country known for the efficiency of its public institutions.
[47:36]
So she is, uh, she is, uh, walking up the steps to her trial only for her
[47:41]
inexperienced lawyer to be shoved out of the way because her friend
[47:44]
Jenny has arrived from LA.
[47:46]
This Jenny's going to take it from here.
[47:48]
This was an interesting move because Jenny is more experienced, but she is
[47:51]
not, I think, a fluent Italian.
[47:53]
No, she is because I know she speaks multiple languages.
[47:55]
Yeah.
[47:56]
But when she, when, when, uh, when Kristen called her and she was like,
[48:00]
Oh my God, I just killed a mob boss before she picks up the phone.
[48:04]
Jenny is speaking in Italian.
[48:06]
Oh, wasn't it on the phone?
[48:07]
I thought it was something else.
[48:08]
Okay.
[48:09]
Well, the, most of the trials conducted English.
[48:10]
Anyway, they don't leave a lot of loose threads.
[48:13]
Okay.
[48:15]
Is tight.
[48:16]
This is tight.
[48:17]
Yeah.
[48:18]
It's a perfect, perfectly like perfect sphere.
[48:22]
There's no edges or loose ends.
[48:23]
I'd be more concerned about whether she was like allowed to practice law in
[48:28]
Italy, whether she was familiar with as we saw from book club, anyone can do
[48:33]
anything in Italy, there's no, there's no legal jurisdictions over there.
[48:36]
Just Bergen can just step in and officiate a wedding.
[48:39]
And this lady can just come in and practice law.
[48:41]
Yeah.
[48:41]
Amanda Knox can just murder her roommate.
[48:44]
You can do whatever you want.
[48:47]
That's a case that they referenced in the movie.
[48:49]
Okay.
[48:50]
So the, uh, the trial is brief.
[48:53]
Uh, many, there's many character witnesses that say very nice things about
[48:57]
Kristen, the judge moved to tears, dismisses the case because she won the
[49:03]
trial.
[49:04]
She didn't inherit the mob.
[49:05]
She inherited herself.
[49:07]
Yeah.
[49:08]
Uh, you would think the movie's over at this point.
[49:12]
Not so fast.
[49:13]
Fabrizio makes a play for power.
[49:15]
Uh, he shoots Dante.
[49:17]
Oh no.
[49:18]
I like that guy.
[49:19]
Uh, and we think that he has shot and killed Bianca.
[49:21]
We learned that in fact, he just shot her in the metal leg and she is okay.
[49:25]
He is holding Paul and Dominic hostage.
[49:28]
What Dominic, what's he doing in Italy?
[49:30]
Uh, that's her son.
[49:31]
Of course.
[49:32]
Uh, there's a shootout in the winery.
[49:34]
Fabrizio gets pushed into a wine press, uh, uh, where his blood mixes with the
[49:41]
wine and they sell it as Rose.
[49:43]
Yep.
[49:43]
Yep.
[49:44]
The, their family goes more than you'd think.
[49:46]
It happens more than you think.
[49:47]
How do you think they make Rose?
[49:49]
Exactly.
[49:50]
I don't think that it would taste very good to have meat in your wine.
[49:57]
It's not meat, it's blood.
[49:58]
Yeah.
[49:58]
Somewhere Dracula.
[50:00]
turning the contrast off. Maybe I will eat, maybe I will drink. I just don't, I mean, I don't think,
[50:07]
I think that part would turn is what I'm saying. Yeah, I don't, I mean, probably when, if you're
[50:12]
aging the wine, certainly the blood will clot at some point. I mean, I guess the vinegar, the acid
[50:19]
of the wine would prevent any like, you know, diseases. I know there's, there's, there are more
[50:24]
than one comic book where blood was mixed with the printer's ink and it was fine. So maybe it's just
[50:29]
that they washed it down with so much wine that it diluted the blood enough that it just adds a
[50:33]
little tinge of like iron to the wine, iron and wine. It's a very minerally. Yeah, a lot of
[50:40]
tannins. Is that a thing in blood tannins? So she sends, uh, she sends Paul back home.
[50:47]
She sends her son Dominic home, but not before he gets a little bit of a godfather moment. Cause
[50:51]
one of the running jokes that Kristen has never seen the godfather. Yes. I love that.
[50:56]
I love that joke. And everyone in Italy is horrified and angry at her that she's never
[51:00]
seen the godfather. So funny. It is kind of funny. The only thing I, it's a funny joke.
[51:03]
It's a funny runner. The only thing to me was, I was like, Italy has a, has a, has a amazing,
[51:08]
uh, national film heritage. Yeah, but these are mostly mobsters. There's a lot of mob movies
[51:15]
from Italy. There's a lot of movies from Italy, but no, it was, but it's a funny running gag.
[51:19]
You know, especially because at one point she does make a reference to it and they're like,
[51:23]
Oh, you finally watched the godfather. She's like, I read the summary on Wikipedia. Good joke.
[51:27]
Those are good jokes, folks. Uh, so we get a little godfather moment and then she gets her
[51:33]
own mafia mama moment. Enjoying what? Like some gelato at the very end, feeding her. They're
[51:39]
just putting it in her mouth for hell. Yeah, that's what she, cause she's the mafia mama.
[51:42]
And that is boom, boom, boom. That's the end of the movie. We get a little theme song,
[51:48]
dance, dance, and I'm dancing. Everybody's dancing. That was mafia mama folks. I was
[51:52]
dancing to the mafia mama. We'll return in mafia mama to mafia mama versus the Yakuza.
[51:58]
I kind of wanted, you know, I mean, I know that part of the thing is her pivoting away from the
[52:04]
unsavory aspects of the mafia, but I kind of did want like a post credit and something of like,
[52:11]
or like saving some goons to scare her old boss or something like, just like a little bit of a,
[52:16]
yes, her finger. I mean, she sent the finger in the rose.
[52:21]
That was to the rival family. You mean her boss in America at the,
[52:27]
as long as we're doing all this fantasy wish fulfillment, like, and the last boom, take that
[52:32]
right, Dan, he's in his bed and he's like, huh, what? And he, his foot hits something and it's
[52:36]
the head of his son from who he works with at the company. Sure. Yeah. No, it should have been.
[52:43]
No, the son's alive though. The son's just like, dad, I had a bad dream ever since those mafia
[52:46]
goons came by. He's like, oh, you can sleep in the bed with me. That's all right. Sure. No,
[52:50]
what it should be is he kicks something and his foot's wet and he pulls the sheet aside and it's
[52:54]
like a chopped in half jet ski. And he's like, no, that's a great ending. Yeah. Okay. So that
[53:03]
was mafia mama, everybody. You're probably wondering, did this movie live up to Stewart's
[53:08]
high expectations? The answer is absolutely two thumbs up. Loving the mafia mama. Uh,
[53:14]
that's your final judgment. Final judgment. This is a movie I liked. Yeah. Uh, for anyone
[53:20]
who inexplicably is just joining us, um, we don't even know how that would be possible.
[53:25]
Final, final judgments. 56 minutes. It's a bad, bad movie or movie. Kind of like I just meant this
[53:33]
episode. If you haven't, this is where we like give our, give our, uh, yeah. So I said the movie,
[53:39]
I kind of like the title final judgments is kind of self-explanatory about what the segment is.
[53:43]
Yeah, sure. Sure. Uh, sometimes you're really hard on Dan. Thank you. Wow. Thank you for that
[53:49]
performance. Speaking for the listeners. Um, uh, kind of like he'll just liked it. Um,
[53:59]
and I would say, I mean, I might stick with kind of likes because it is,
[54:05]
it has issues. Like it's not as funny as I would like it to be necessarily. And even though I
[54:11]
respect that its tone goes for it, sometimes it, it doesn't seem to have full control of itself,
[54:19]
but I still gotta admit that I really enjoyed it and laughed a lot while watching it. So that's,
[54:25]
that's my response. You guys, me? Yeah. How you go? I'll be the buzzkill. Loved it. Loved it.
[54:32]
Loved it. I wish I had written it. I couldn't stop thinking about how fun it must've been to
[54:38]
make this movie. Cause these are all like the director was the woman who directed 13. Oh,
[54:43]
right. It's a big change. And the first twilight and Tony Collette, she obviously has been in
[54:50]
numerous, uh, renowned films, but they were all like, you know what? Like we're girls and we want
[54:56]
to make a fucking stupid movie and they did. And it was beautiful and I loved it. No, I thought it
[55:02]
was great. Uh, I really did. And I thank you guys for letting me watch it with you. Yeah. I'm just
[55:09]
going to say at the end, cause I don't want to be too much of a school. I don't like it that much,
[55:12]
but I think it's more, more because it felt like there were a lot of opportunities for humor.
[55:19]
That were not fully taken. It was like, I feel like it has one strike against it in that it's
[55:24]
a comedy that Elliot did not write and that's the issue. No, I just, I want it to be funnier.
[55:32]
You know, like I was like, Oh, there's a lot of like, it feels like this movie is like always
[55:35]
getting up to the edge of being really funny for me. And then it wasn't going quite there,
[55:39]
but yeah, you know, but there's, it's of all the movies we've watched maybe this year,
[55:44]
I think this is, this is in the top three, certainly for the flop house. I mean, not all
[55:50]
the movies we've watched in our personal lives. Yeah. Okay. So that was mafia mama. What do we do
[55:55]
next year, Dan? Um, let's do some ads. Why not? You know what? Let's do them. Okay. Let's make
[56:04]
Hallie sit through them. Sure. We'll try and make them fast, especially for Hallie. Hey,
[56:11]
you like, uh, remember how I stuck up for you? Yeah. Thank you. Um, never forget it.
[56:21]
You want to feel as good as a real mafia. You want to feel good. You want to feel like
[56:27]
Hallie Hacklin stuck up for you. You want to get that kind of joy in your life. Maybe
[56:31]
microdosing is the answer. Our show today is sponsored by microdose gummies. Microdose gummies
[56:36]
deliver perfect entry-level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good.
[56:41]
And when I say just the right amount of good, I'm saying that warm,
[56:45]
warm feeling of friendship and appreciation that you get when the Hallie Hacklin
[56:50]
tells Elliot to shut the fuck up for once and be nice. Uh, if you want like a similar experience,
[56:58]
but in like a microdose gummy form, microdose gummies are available nationwide to learn more
[57:05]
about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code flop. That's F L O P to get free shipping
[57:12]
and 30% off your first order links can be found in the show description. But again, that is
[57:16]
microdose.com code flop. You know, uh, the holidays are right around the corner and you're probably
[57:24]
doing a little bit of gift shopping and what kind of gift does everybody in the world need?
[57:29]
That is right. People need a tushy home bidet so that their butts will stay nice and clean
[57:35]
because everybody poops. That's a rule. That's one of the rules that, uh, one of the commandments.
[57:40]
So that's the second, the number two commandment. Yeah. Uh, first everybody pee.
[57:49]
Hello tissues, but Dave uses a fresh stream of water that helps clean your butt
[57:53]
two times better than wiping and helps provide
[57:56]
a calculated measure. You measure how clean your butt is at the end. It feels easy to measure.
[58:04]
Yeah. We're going to map it out. They can put a grid over the butt area
[58:08]
and if there are any particles in any of the grids, there's a book, there's a book where they,
[58:12]
where they basically do that. It's if there was one amazing text on the design of bathrooms
[58:17]
and it's page after page of mapping of like splashback and things like that. And you're an
[58:23]
and I used to have a copy of this book and I wish I still had it. I gave it to someone as a gift.
[58:27]
And speaking of bathroom design, hello, tushy bidets actually connect to your existing toilet.
[58:32]
You don't have to rip that thing out and put in a whole new toilet. This goes on top of it.
[58:36]
Very easy to install. Very easy to install. Uh, I, I have been a user for years. I love it.
[58:43]
It is essential. Anytime I have to use a bathroom that does not have a tushy bidet,
[58:48]
I am like, I wasted that. That is a wasted moment of my life.
[58:52]
Uh, now I have to go find out a shower real quick. Um, so shop, don't let them use your shower.
[59:00]
Yeah. I wish I'd known before we watched that movie at my house. Uh, sorry.
[59:05]
My children bathe in that shower. Yeah. Spoiler. It wasn't your cat that made that mess.
[59:12]
So shop from your toilet this brown Friday and save up to 30% on bidets and bundles.
[59:19]
Poop alley. Oh, that's what I thought. Okay. Visit hello. Tushy.com.
[59:26]
Hello. Tushy.com forward slash flop and use promo code 30%. No, no flop. Like the name of the show
[59:35]
and use promo code flop for 30% off your first order. That's hello. Tushy.com
[59:40]
slash flop for 30% off now through November 25th. Now and forever. Now and forever.
[59:49]
Cats in your toilet. Uh, before we go on to the next, the next ad, I just want to say,
[59:54]
I'll also throw in a personal recommendation for the, uh, Tushy bidet. My family loves it. Okay.
[1:00:00]
Got some Flophouse-related announcements.
[1:00:02]
Exciting, exciting, exciting.
[1:00:04]
Flop TV continues apace.
[1:00:05]
That's our online, live, but then recorded broadcast
[1:00:09]
internet TV version of the Flophouse podcast.
[1:00:12]
We, as we record this just days ago,
[1:00:14]
we had our fourth episode over the top.
[1:00:16]
The video of that is online now
[1:00:18]
for anyone who has a season pass ticket
[1:00:20]
or is going to buy one.
[1:00:21]
Our next episode is December 2nd,
[1:00:23]
one day before my birthday.
[1:00:25]
You better show up with a present.
[1:00:27]
And we're gonna be watching and talking about,
[1:00:29]
that's right, Ballistic X vs. Sefer.
[1:00:31]
The movie that until I watch it,
[1:00:33]
I refuse to believe is a real movie that exists.
[1:00:36]
Just sounds like a collection of words I don't understand.
[1:00:38]
Yeah.
[1:00:39]
We may turn out to be maybe like the 20th
[1:00:41]
through 22nd people who have ever seen this movie.
[1:00:44]
It'll be exciting.
[1:00:45]
So that's December 2nd, a Saturday,
[1:00:47]
the first Saturday of the month,
[1:00:48]
at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.
[1:00:50]
Or if you can't make it for the live broadcast
[1:00:52]
on Saturday, December 2nd at 9 p.m.,
[1:00:54]
your season pass or your ticket
[1:00:56]
gets you access to the recording
[1:00:57]
pretty much the next morning or later that night.
[1:01:00]
But definitely by the next morning.
[1:01:02]
That's theflophouse.simpletics.com
[1:01:05]
for tickets or season passes to Flop TV.
[1:01:07]
But even more exciting than that, if it's even possible.
[1:01:10]
Hey, if you like watching The Flophouse on your computer,
[1:01:13]
would you like to watch us in person,
[1:01:15]
in a room with you? Sure.
[1:01:17]
Sharing the same space?
[1:01:18]
Well, guess what?
[1:01:19]
If you live in one of a few places on the West Coast,
[1:01:22]
you'll get that chance in January.
[1:01:24]
That's right, in January 2024,
[1:01:26]
The Flophouse is going on tours, the 2024 tour.
[1:01:29]
We're calling it Eras.
[1:01:31]
And we go to a couple of different cities on the West Coast.
[1:01:34]
Sorry, East Coast.
[1:01:36]
We can announce two of those dates right now
[1:01:37]
on January 25th of next year.
[1:01:40]
We're gonna be at the Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon.
[1:01:43]
That's right, Portland, Oregon, the City of Roses.
[1:01:45]
We'll be there doing The Flophouse.
[1:01:48]
That's at 8 p.m. on January 25th.
[1:01:50]
For tickets, go to aladdin-theater.com.
[1:01:53]
That's not the word dash, just the pronunciation.
[1:01:56]
This is a punctuation, aladdin-theater.com.
[1:01:58]
And then a few days later, January 28th at 7 p.m.,
[1:02:01]
we'll be at the Regent Theater in Los Angeles.
[1:02:03]
If you missed our Vidyut's Los Angeles show, get ready.
[1:02:06]
We're gonna be in Los Angeles again doing a different show,
[1:02:09]
not the same shows.
[1:02:10]
So that's gonna be-
[1:02:11]
And this will be downtown
[1:02:11]
where there's like parking garages and stuff.
[1:02:14]
Yes, it'll be easier to park.
[1:02:16]
It's a cooler place to be.
[1:02:18]
It does smell bad, but you know, it's, wait, what?
[1:02:22]
I said, I don't know if it's a cooler place to be.
[1:02:24]
It's not a cooler place to be, to be honest.
[1:02:24]
Yeah, Vidyut's is pretty cool.
[1:02:26]
Vidyut's is pretty cool, but the Regent is fine too.
[1:02:27]
Then go to regentdtla.com for tickets.
[1:02:30]
That's January 28th at the Regent Theater.
[1:02:32]
We haven't picked our movies yet.
[1:02:33]
We do have a surprise, a special thing
[1:02:37]
that we might be able to announce sometime in the future
[1:02:40]
for one of those shows.
[1:02:41]
But we're gonna pick those movies soon
[1:02:44]
and let you know what they are.
[1:02:46]
Let me say, yeah, there's gonna be eventually four dates
[1:02:50]
in this Flophouse West Coast tour.
[1:02:52]
We can only announce two right now,
[1:02:54]
but we wanted to give people
[1:02:56]
the earliest possible chance for those two.
[1:02:58]
Once there's all four, you know,
[1:03:00]
I'm gonna construct an easy place
[1:03:02]
where you can look at all that stuff together.
[1:03:04]
Big promises coming from Dan McCoy.
[1:03:06]
I do these things, I just sometimes forget them.
[1:03:09]
That's the problem.
[1:03:10]
Hey, Stuart, leave Dan alone.
[1:03:13]
Yes, mommy, mama.
[1:03:15]
You mess with Dan, you mess with me.
[1:03:17]
That's what Hallie says.
[1:03:18]
Yeah, go on, kid.
[1:03:20]
You come after Dan, you come after me.
[1:03:23]
That's what it is, come after.
[1:03:24]
Okay, I also, guys, step aside for a moment.
[1:03:27]
I have some non-Flophouse news that I wanted to share
[1:03:31]
that I'm gonna be cheating on the Flophouse boys next year
[1:03:35]
doing another podcast that I'm gonna mention real quick.
[1:03:37]
I didn't want you to find out this way,
[1:03:39]
but it is the way I'm telling you.
[1:03:41]
I am going to be teaming up next year
[1:03:42]
for a podcast with 99% Invisible's own Roman Mars.
[1:03:45]
We're gonna do a monthly podcast
[1:03:46]
celebrating the 50th anniversary of one of my favorite books,
[1:03:50]
probably my favorite book of all time,
[1:03:51]
The Power Broker by Robert Caro.
[1:03:52]
He's a mortal masterpiece of political biography
[1:03:54]
and municipal apocalypse.
[1:03:56]
We're gonna be walking through the book all year.
[1:03:59]
Get yourself a copy, read along with us.
[1:04:01]
It's gonna be really fun.
[1:04:02]
We're gonna have celebrity interviews, things like that.
[1:04:03]
There should be a kind of introductory episode
[1:04:06]
coming out in December,
[1:04:07]
and then it's gonna be all through 2024
[1:04:10]
for the 50th anniversary.
[1:04:11]
I don't have the title of that podcast yet,
[1:04:13]
but when we do have it, I'll give it to you.
[1:04:16]
So that's a lot of me promising titles.
[1:04:17]
Shower Broker.
[1:04:19]
You could do it in the shower.
[1:04:21]
Okay, yeah, maybe I'll podcast in the shower.
[1:04:23]
It'll probably ruin my-
[1:04:24]
I saw a screenshot of you and Roman
[1:04:26]
talking to Conan O'Brien.
[1:04:28]
Yep.
[1:04:29]
That was on the internet. Did you mention me?
[1:04:29]
Did I mention what?
[1:04:30]
I was a big fan of Conan O'Brien growing up.
[1:04:32]
I almost did, to be honest, but I didn't.
[1:04:35]
Instead, I mentioned Matt O'Brien,
[1:04:37]
someone that we both know in common.
[1:04:39]
Yeah.
[1:04:40]
Did you know he's working at The Daily Show again?
[1:04:42]
Oh, I didn't know that.
[1:04:42]
I'll have to get in touch with him.
[1:04:43]
So a longtime Conan writer
[1:04:45]
and former Daily Show coworker of mine, Matt O'Brien.
[1:04:49]
But we interviewed Conan O'Brien.
[1:04:50]
We interview celebrities and stuff like that.
[1:04:51]
But my name was on the tip of his tongue.
[1:04:53]
Mm-hmm.
[1:04:54]
And one last thing, I'll remind people
[1:04:56]
that my Disney Villains Hades comics miniseries
[1:04:59]
is out in stores now from Dynamite Comics.
[1:05:00]
And that's all the ads that we have this week.
[1:05:02]
♪♪
[1:05:07]
Have you ever wanted to know the sad lore
[1:05:09]
behind Chuck E. Cheese's love of birthday parties?
[1:05:12]
Or my Saturday mornings were reserved for cartoons?
[1:05:14]
Or have you wanted to know
[1:05:16]
how beloved virtual pet site Neopets
[1:05:18]
fell into the hands of Scientologists?
[1:05:20]
Or how a former Mattel employee
[1:05:22]
managed to grow Sega into a video game powerhouse?
[1:05:25]
Join us, hosts Austin and Brenda,
[1:05:27]
and learn all of these things and more
[1:05:29]
at Seeker Histories of Nerd Mysteries,
[1:05:31]
now on Maximum Fun.
[1:05:33]
♪♪
[1:05:36]
I'm Yucky Jessica.
[1:05:38]
I'm Chuck Crudsworth.
[1:05:40]
And this is Terrible,
[1:05:42]
a podcast where we talk about things we hate that are awful.
[1:05:46]
Today, we're discussing Wonderful,
[1:05:48]
a podcast on the Maximum Fun Network.
[1:05:51]
Hosts Rachel and Griffin McElroy,
[1:05:54]
a real-life married couple.
[1:05:55]
Yuck!
[1:05:56]
Discuss a wide range of topics.
[1:05:58]
Music, video games, poetry, snacks.
[1:06:02]
But I hate all that stuff.
[1:06:03]
I know you do, Yucky Jessica.
[1:06:06]
It comes out every Wednesday,
[1:06:08]
the worst day of the week,
[1:06:09]
wherever you download your podcasts.
[1:06:11]
For our next topic, we're talking Fiona,
[1:06:14]
the baby hippo from the Cincinnati Zoo.
[1:06:16]
I hate this little hippo.
[1:06:19]
Well, then let us move on to letters from listeners like you
[1:06:24]
who are listening to the Flophouse podcast right now.
[1:06:28]
Hi, I'm talking to you.
[1:06:30]
It's me, Dan McCoy, talking directly to you, the listener.
[1:06:32]
Hi there.
[1:06:33]
No, not you.
[1:06:35]
You in the red.
[1:06:37]
Yeah.
[1:06:39]
How you doing?
[1:06:40]
Anyway, if you're one of the listeners...
[1:06:41]
Dan, I'm so proud of the way
[1:06:43]
that you have learned how to waste time.
[1:06:44]
Thank you.
[1:06:46]
Thank you, Elliot.
[1:06:47]
That's how you talk to your friends.
[1:06:49]
Yes, it makes me very proud.
[1:06:51]
Yeah.
[1:06:53]
Anyway, letters from listeners.
[1:06:54]
The first one is from Luke, last name withheld,
[1:06:57]
who did the over-the-top slash over-the-flop art
[1:07:01]
that we used for most recent Flophouse TV show.
[1:07:04]
If you were in a waiting room for the last episode of Flop TV,
[1:07:08]
you saw it. It was great.
[1:07:09]
It was a great mock-up poster.
[1:07:11]
My favorite part of it was how he changed the slogan.
[1:07:14]
The tagline over the top was like,
[1:07:15]
some fight for, what was it?
[1:07:16]
Some fight for, some fight for victory, some for money.
[1:07:21]
He's fighting for his son's money.
[1:07:24]
Something like that.
[1:07:25]
That's great.
[1:07:27]
Yeah, so this is from Luke, last name withheld,
[1:07:31]
over-the-flop.
[1:07:33]
Hey there.
[1:07:34]
Long time, first time, et cetera.
[1:07:36]
I've listened to you chuckleheads for a while,
[1:07:38]
but only recently subscribed to your YouTube channel.
[1:07:41]
Today, the algorithm decided that since I like your channel,
[1:07:44]
I might also like Wood Talk, which as far as I can tell,
[1:07:49]
only has in common with your show
[1:07:50]
that it is three guys with cartoon avatars
[1:07:53]
talking about something.
[1:07:55]
I guess I should ask a related question.
[1:07:57]
So what's your favorite use of wood in a movie?
[1:08:00]
You have to answer
[1:08:01]
because I finally joined MaxFun this week.
[1:08:03]
You owe me, dammit.
[1:08:04]
Luke, last name withheld.
[1:08:06]
We do owe him.
[1:08:07]
Yeah.
[1:08:09]
Use of wood in a movie.
[1:08:12]
I've got an answer for that.
[1:08:13]
I think, so this, I don't know if it's really my favorite,
[1:08:16]
but it's the first one that comes to mind is
[1:08:17]
there's a moment in the movie Horse Feathers,
[1:08:19]
the Marx Brothers movie,
[1:08:20]
where Harpo and Chico have been tied up
[1:08:22]
and kidnapped in a room and they get out by each,
[1:08:25]
they each have a saw in their hands
[1:08:27]
and they saw through the wooden floor
[1:08:28]
in a circle around themselves
[1:08:31]
so that they then fall through the floor,
[1:08:32]
through the ceiling of the room below them
[1:08:34]
and are immediately captured again.
[1:08:36]
And I just think it's very funny the way that they're,
[1:08:38]
in another comedy movie,
[1:08:40]
the characters would do this unknowingly,
[1:08:42]
like ignorantly,
[1:08:43]
unknowing that they are about to fall down.
[1:08:45]
But it is clear from the looks on their faces
[1:08:47]
that Chico and Harpo are very well aware
[1:08:48]
that they are about to fall
[1:08:49]
through the ceiling of the room below them
[1:08:51]
and they're doing it just for the sheer insanity
[1:08:54]
of wanting to escape that way.
[1:08:56]
Yeah.
[1:08:57]
You know what I just thought of that I'll throw in here?
[1:09:01]
The film Walking Tall,
[1:09:02]
the Hicksploitation movie with Joe Don Baker.
[1:09:06]
Yeah, he's a big stick in that, yeah.
[1:09:07]
Yeah, he just carries around a plank
[1:09:10]
and that's how he fights crime.
[1:09:12]
With a big piece of wood.
[1:09:14]
Also, let's not forget the movie Ed Wood.
[1:09:16]
Yeah.
[1:09:17]
I haven't seen it, is it about wood?
[1:09:19]
Yeah, what about the movie Mr. Woodcock?
[1:09:23]
Is that about wood?
[1:09:25]
Yeah, I think so.
[1:09:26]
About a woodcock.
[1:09:27]
I heard there was a movie where Holly would if she could,
[1:09:29]
so is that something with wood?
[1:09:31]
Sounds great.
[1:09:32]
Yeah, like Place Beyond the Pines,
[1:09:35]
do we see the pines in that?
[1:09:37]
Very briefly, because we're really going
[1:09:39]
to the place beyond them.
[1:09:40]
Yeah, that makes sense.
[1:09:42]
I'm having a good about you.
[1:09:43]
But there could be no place beyond the pines
[1:09:45]
if there weren't pines to begin with.
[1:09:48]
Thank you, it helps center us.
[1:09:49]
I'm gonna, with Luke's forbearance hopefully,
[1:09:52]
I'm gonna expand the question to any type
[1:09:54]
of construction or building material
[1:09:56]
that you've seen in a movie.
[1:09:57]
This was tough.
[1:09:58]
I mean, I felt like the obvious one.
[1:10:00]
was the stake in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but then I was trying to remember, wasn't
[1:10:05]
there a thing in Father of the Bride where he like builds a gazebo for her, or did I
[1:10:10]
make that up?
[1:10:11]
I think so.
[1:10:12]
No, I think they do.
[1:10:13]
That's like one of his big things, he wants to finish this gazebo.
[1:10:17]
Or I was thinking about in My Girl, when there's a beehive in a tree, trees are made of wood,
[1:10:27]
fair, I'll allow it.
[1:10:29]
Yeah, or in Midsommar where they, spoiler alert, set a bunch of wood on fire.
[1:10:35]
In Wicker Man they do the same thing, they also set a bunch of, I guess it's wicker.
[1:10:39]
Guys, I love a gazebo.
[1:10:41]
Whoa, I thought there was a new person on the podcast, you've like gone to crazy places.
[1:10:45]
You love a gazebo, Dan, you should try and get on an episode of Catfish, because they
[1:10:49]
always meet people in gazebos in public parks.
[1:10:53]
You know, you want to be outdoors, but you also want a roof.
[1:10:57]
A gazebo is one of your top ways.
[1:10:58]
Oh, top way, yeah, absolutely.
[1:10:59]
Also, like, Dan's never been on an episode of Catfish.
[1:11:03]
Hallie, talk to yourself about being mean to Dan.
[1:11:07]
Yeah, I was going to say, I feel like of the three of us, Dan, do you think you're the
[1:11:14]
most likely to get catfished, or is it me, because like, I'm such an optimistic romantic,
[1:11:19]
I could always get suckered.
[1:11:20]
Yeah, I mean, well, we're obviously removing ourselves from our current relationship.
[1:11:26]
No, you guys are talking about it.
[1:11:28]
In the world of you being married, you're both married.
[1:11:31]
Yeah, I think being catfished is risks.
[1:11:35]
The risk has gone down, I think.
[1:11:38]
Those days are over, I think.
[1:11:39]
Yeah, that's what the insurance is.
[1:11:40]
Some might call you a catfish out of water, right?
[1:11:43]
Oh, and we're back.
[1:11:48]
Okay, well, in that case, let's move on to the next letter.
[1:11:53]
It's from Chris, last name withheld, who writes,
[1:11:55]
Howdy!
[1:11:57]
A couple of episodes ago,
[1:11:59]
Stuart mentioned he was reading romance novels right now,
[1:12:04]
and I'd love his recommendations or thoughts on any compelling ones he or the other floppers have read.
[1:12:09]
I primarily read sci-fi and fantasy novels,
[1:12:12]
but I've been trying to find something that my wife and I can both listen to
[1:12:15]
while we are in the car together.
[1:12:17]
She unfortunately does not like podcasts, and music makes me sleepy while driving.
[1:12:21]
Thanks, Chris.
[1:12:23]
I don't think they should be listening to romance novels together in the car.
[1:12:27]
Oh, you think that's going to lead?
[1:12:29]
You don't want things to get too sexy when you're in the car.
[1:12:31]
It's not safe.
[1:12:33]
No, unless you pull over to the side of the road.
[1:12:35]
Well, you guys promise me that you'll pull over to the side of the road.
[1:12:38]
Yeah.
[1:12:39]
Because nobody's saying anything unless you promise.
[1:12:42]
That's what the phrase safe sex means, is that you pull over to the side of the road.
[1:12:46]
But you keep your seatbelts on.
[1:12:48]
Yes, yes.
[1:12:49]
It could hit you.
[1:12:50]
Yeah.
[1:12:51]
Side swipe.
[1:12:52]
You might get rear-ended, and not the way that you want.
[1:12:54]
You might get rear-ended while you're getting rear-ended.
[1:12:58]
I think I implied that play on words.
[1:13:03]
Yeah, unless, of course, you're like Charlie Sheen and Christy Swanson
[1:13:06]
in the movie The Chase, where they don't have the opportunity to pull over
[1:13:09]
because they're being chased like the title of the movie.
[1:13:12]
But the erotic tension has gotten so much that they must, of course.
[1:13:18]
They can't not do it.
[1:13:19]
Or if you're OnlyFans fans have requested that you do it in a Tesla self-driving car.
[1:13:24]
That's the other way that people are doing it.
[1:13:26]
Yeah, your OnlyFans subs are making that request.
[1:13:29]
I don't know.
[1:13:30]
I don't think you're allowed to do it in public anymore.
[1:13:32]
I think that's one of their restraints.
[1:13:34]
But I don't read the fine print.
[1:13:36]
Okay, so let's see.
[1:13:39]
I love how you tried to play off like you weren't well aware of the OnlyFans restrictions.
[1:13:43]
I don't know all the rules.
[1:13:45]
The thing is, my love of rules goes way back.
[1:13:47]
Whether it's board games, whether it's website documents.
[1:13:50]
Yeah, he often says, I just watch porn for the rules.
[1:13:56]
Rules are important, guys.
[1:13:57]
I don't know.
[1:13:58]
I've only just started reading romance novels.
[1:14:01]
The most recent one I read had the, I would say, somewhat ridiculous title,
[1:14:06]
The Kiss Quotient, about an autistic woman who in order to become more experienced
[1:14:14]
starts dating or starts seeing a male escort.
[1:14:17]
And, you know, things get a little bit hot and heavy, guys.
[1:14:21]
But, you know, it was cute and hot and fun.
[1:14:24]
But, yeah, I mean, I'm just starting out.
[1:14:28]
So, honestly, I could use your recommendations, please, listeners.
[1:14:31]
I have a feeling that a few of our listeners probably could recommend some.
[1:14:35]
Or will just tell me to go to that.
[1:14:38]
There's like a new romance novel specific bookstore that opened up in Park Slope
[1:14:42]
called, what, The Ripped Bodice, I think is the name of it.
[1:14:45]
Oh, yeah, I've heard of that store.
[1:14:46]
Yeah.
[1:14:47]
It's great that bookstores are doing so well that they can be that niche.
[1:14:51]
Oftentimes, I think the nicheness helps.
[1:14:54]
Because the bookstore has like an identity that people go to it for.
[1:14:57]
That's true.
[1:14:58]
Like, because there's stores that cater just to comic books, guys.
[1:15:03]
Surely not.
[1:15:04]
There aren't that many nerds in the world.
[1:15:08]
And in addition to comic books, they sell little statues of comic book characters that people buy.
[1:15:13]
Yeah, for what reason would one of these things?
[1:15:16]
I mean, I don't know.
[1:15:17]
I'm still learning.
[1:15:18]
I'm guessing so they, when they're reading the comic book, they can look over to their shelf.
[1:15:22]
Sure.
[1:15:23]
And see like a little physical version.
[1:15:24]
I need a three-dimensional representation of this so I can understand how it moves through space.
[1:15:28]
And they can say, did you really do this?
[1:15:32]
For real?
[1:15:33]
Yeah, you hold up the book, you're like, I'm reading about you right now.
[1:15:36]
You hold up the figure and you hold it to the page.
[1:15:38]
And you're like, yeah, about the same size as the drawing.
[1:15:41]
Yeah, make him kiss himself.
[1:15:43]
Yeah, sure.
[1:15:45]
I guess this fellow, Walt Simonson, did a good job capturing your likeness.
[1:15:50]
I had to get a little Thor and a little Thor comic so I could pretend the comic book page was a mirror.
[1:15:55]
And Thor is looking at himself in it while he's getting ready in the morning.
[1:15:58]
Yeah, of course, there's a problem of infinite regress where I had to get a smaller Thor holding a smaller comic.
[1:16:04]
Dan, if you're telling me to read Infinite Regress by David Foster Wallace, then I will not read it.
[1:16:08]
I'm sorry.
[1:16:11]
So I hope that answered your question.
[1:16:13]
And now we're moving on to recommendations.
[1:16:20]
Movies to watch.
[1:16:22]
Normally, other than Mafia Mama, but in my case, I'm going to recommend an unchallenging double feature
[1:16:32]
that Audrey and I stumbled upon.
[1:16:34]
Before we watched Mafia Mama, we watched A Haunting in Venice.
[1:16:42]
And it was an interesting Italy double feature.
[1:16:52]
It's two sides of the same coin.
[1:16:54]
A Haunting in Venice is like over-serious to the point of being kind of funny and dark.
[1:17:04]
And this is like sun-drenched Mafia Mama, sun-drenched Italy, all wackiness.
[1:17:10]
It's so funny, it becomes a tragedy.
[1:17:14]
The thing is, I have not liked the other Hercule Poirot, Kenneth Branagh movies.
[1:17:21]
And this one I only kind of liked and liked mostly as a double feature with Mafia Mama.
[1:17:26]
I think it's kind of a fun...
[1:17:27]
Strong recommendation.
[1:17:30]
I know for a fact there are other listeners out there that would be like,
[1:17:33]
oh yeah, that does sound fun.
[1:17:35]
So for those listeners, A Haunting in Venice, it is stronger than the other movies
[1:17:43]
by virtue of it doesn't have ugly CGI train or Nile River.
[1:17:51]
It is shot in a combination of real locations in Venice, sound stages,
[1:17:55]
and with a little digital augmentation for things.
[1:17:59]
Real ghosts. They brought real ghosts in.
[1:18:01]
They got Armie Hammer to come back, right?
[1:18:03]
Well, you can't cast a normal person as a regular ghost these days.
[1:18:07]
No, you can't do it.
[1:18:08]
Yeah, you'll get canceled.
[1:18:12]
I made this comparison on Letterboxd and then I discovered that dozens of other people have,
[1:18:18]
but it feels like a really high-toned episode of Scooby-Doo
[1:18:22]
in a way that made it a lot more fun and campy than some of the other ones have been.
[1:18:29]
Because the Harlem Club Trotters showed up.
[1:18:33]
Yeah, Sonny's chair had a song in the middle.
[1:18:35]
My recommendation is the double feature of Haunting in Venice and Mafia Mama.
[1:18:40]
That's a strong double feature.
[1:18:42]
I'm going to recommend a horror movie because we're just getting out of spooky season.
[1:18:47]
I'm recommending the latest movie by director Joe Lynch called Suitable Flesh
[1:18:53]
starring friend of the podcast Barbara Crampton.
[1:18:57]
She is great.
[1:18:58]
Barbara Crampton and Heather Graham are both in it.
[1:19:01]
And it is a modern take on the Thing at the Doorstep story.
[1:19:07]
The whole movie is kind of a love letter to the Stuart Gordon, H.P. Lovecraft movies.
[1:19:14]
A Lovecraft letter?
[1:19:15]
Mm-hmm.
[1:19:16]
Lovecraft services?
[1:19:19]
Mm-hmm.
[1:19:20]
Yep.
[1:19:21]
He was a caterer with Lovecraft services.
[1:19:27]
What do we serve?
[1:19:29]
It's indescribable, the food that we serve.
[1:19:32]
I can't tell you about it.
[1:19:35]
It's Cyclopean?
[1:19:36]
Is that a way you can describe food?
[1:19:38]
I'm going to be over at Lovecrafty for a moment getting a snack.
[1:19:41]
I'll be right back.
[1:19:42]
He's like, the polyps are flying out the door.
[1:19:45]
Okay.
[1:19:46]
So it is a horror movie.
[1:19:50]
It's a little bit gross and campy and like weirdly horny.
[1:19:55]
And it's fun.
[1:19:56]
So if you're looking for like a fun kind of great movie.
[1:20:00]
like Horror Movie Night, Suitable Flesh is a good time.
[1:20:06]
I'm going to recommend a movie that I think has been playing festivals.
[1:20:10]
I don't know if it's in theaters yet, but it's a movie called Property,
[1:20:14]
written and directed by Daniel Vendera. It's from Brazil.
[1:20:16]
It's a movie that I think they made last year,
[1:20:18]
but it's been playing different festivals and things.
[1:20:20]
And it is a super tense, kind of suspenseful thriller.
[1:20:24]
This woman who is the survivor of a kind of kidnapping attempt
[1:20:28]
and has been kind of afraid to go outside,
[1:20:33]
kind of a shut-in since then, afraid to go outside.
[1:20:35]
Her and her husband go to the estate that he inherited.
[1:20:38]
Unfortunately, they're arriving on the day that everyone who works on the estate
[1:20:41]
is being told, the estate's being sold and you're all going to lose your houses
[1:20:44]
and you're all going to leave.
[1:20:45]
But first you have to pay back the overseer the money that you owe them.
[1:20:49]
And things spiral out of control as they try to take control of the place
[1:20:54]
and the wife is trying to defend herself from them.
[1:20:59]
And one of the things that's great about it is it's super suspenseful,
[1:21:03]
but there's very little of any kind of bad guy characters.
[1:21:08]
There are people who are not as nice as other people,
[1:21:10]
but everyone kind of has a point of view to what they're doing.
[1:21:13]
And you just see these people getting themselves into worse and worse trouble
[1:21:18]
because they're all part of this system that has given some people everything
[1:21:21]
and some people nothing.
[1:21:23]
And I thought it was really good.
[1:21:24]
So that's Property.
[1:21:26]
Well, I guess I'll recommend the only movie I've seen besides Mafia Mama
[1:21:30]
in the last, I don't know, however long.
[1:21:35]
Because you're a real-life mama?
[1:21:38]
No.
[1:21:39]
Recently I was listening to another Maximum Fun podcast, Baby Geniuses,
[1:21:45]
and Lisa Hanawalt mentioned how You Can Count on Me is a perfect screenplay.
[1:21:51]
And I thought to myself, hey, I wish I could do that.
[1:21:54]
I'll take a read.
[1:21:56]
So I read it.
[1:21:57]
I remember I never actually saw this movie when I was younger,
[1:21:59]
but I remember my mom always had the CD for the soundtrack in her car.
[1:22:05]
So that's a little piece of my history.
[1:22:08]
Anyway, I watched the movie, and it is so good.
[1:22:12]
I feel like it's the best thing I've seen by Kenneth Lonergan.
[1:22:18]
It's so understated.
[1:22:23]
Manchester by the Sea was obviously a real tearjerker, but it's so track.
[1:22:27]
Have you seen Margaret?
[1:22:28]
No.
[1:22:29]
The longer cut of Margaret is great also.
[1:22:32]
Really?
[1:22:33]
Yeah.
[1:22:34]
But it's very hard to get your hands on.
[1:22:36]
I've been wanting to see that for a while.
[1:22:38]
I think it was on Criterion Channel for a while.
[1:22:41]
Oh, really?
[1:22:42]
There was some streaming service where they had the longer version of it.
[1:22:44]
It may not be up there still,
[1:22:45]
but if you can find it, the three-hour cut of Margaret is very good.
[1:22:48]
But You Can Count on Me is great.
[1:22:50]
Here's a little piece of my personal history.
[1:22:52]
When I was at NYU in the dramatic writing program,
[1:22:54]
that was the movie that, like, everyone was talking about.
[1:22:57]
It was a recent thing.
[1:22:58]
Lonergan, I think, was an alum of the program,
[1:23:00]
and they were like, this is what you can be capable of,
[1:23:03]
and none of us produced anything anywhere near as good as that.
[1:23:06]
Yet.
[1:23:07]
The other movies they were always telling us to watch were Chinatown and Tootsie.
[1:23:10]
I'm like, Tootsie is not very good, but You Can Count on Me is very good.
[1:23:13]
Yeah, it was really good.
[1:23:15]
Check it out.
[1:23:17]
Check it out.
[1:23:18]
Four recommendations.
[1:23:20]
Yeah.
[1:23:21]
Five, if you consider Mafia Mama, which I do.
[1:23:24]
Before we sign off, I don't know.
[1:23:31]
Hal, is there any place that you want people to find you,
[1:23:33]
or are you hiding out?
[1:23:35]
Do you want to say your address on the podcast?
[1:23:37]
Do you want us to talk to you?
[1:23:38]
What's your favorite restaurant?
[1:23:39]
Is there anything you want to say before we go?
[1:23:43]
Is there a place that you hang out with your children
[1:23:45]
that you'd like people to come up and say hello to you?
[1:23:48]
Just my home, which is, you know.
[1:23:52]
Is there a part of your child that you held onto
[1:23:54]
while dipping them in the river sticks,
[1:23:56]
which makes them almost completely invulnerable except for one small part?
[1:23:59]
Yeah, yeah, people should know.
[1:24:00]
People should know that, yeah.
[1:24:02]
Especially your enemies.
[1:24:05]
I don't know.
[1:24:06]
Oh, I got a newsletter, folks.
[1:24:09]
Oh, yeah, you got your sub stack.
[1:24:10]
Yeah, check out my sub stack.
[1:24:11]
Hali has a sub stack newsletter, which is phenomenal.
[1:24:14]
It's so well written.
[1:24:15]
It's so funny.
[1:24:16]
It's so honest and heartbreaking and cool sometimes.
[1:24:20]
It's so honest.
[1:24:21]
I'm worried about my friends sometimes.
[1:24:23]
I'm like, is Hali okay?
[1:24:25]
Is that too real for you?
[1:24:27]
But at the same time, it's very funny.
[1:24:29]
And so what's the name of your sub stack?
[1:24:31]
It's called That Hurts My Feelings.
[1:24:33]
Not to be confused with You Hurt My Feelings starring Toni Collette.
[1:24:38]
Yeah, but it's called That Hurts My Feelings.
[1:24:39]
Right.
[1:24:41]
As a reader, I love it.
[1:24:42]
I'm always excited to see it, and then I feel bad for Hali because I'm like, oh, no.
[1:24:46]
She's going through some rough stuff.
[1:24:47]
Hey, we're all going – that's the point.
[1:24:49]
We're all going through rough stuff, guys.
[1:24:50]
I see you.
[1:24:51]
You see me.
[1:24:52]
Am I a book of saw because I'm spiraling?
[1:24:58]
But that is – yeah, you should.
[1:24:59]
Beautiful.
[1:25:00]
If you haven't checked out Hali's sub stack, you should.
[1:25:02]
It's really fantastic.
[1:25:03]
Thanks.
[1:25:04]
Okay, well, yeah, co-signed.
[1:25:08]
And also check out MaximumFun.org for other great podcasts on our network.
[1:25:13]
Look up HowlDotty or Lydia Burrell or Alexander Smith.
[1:25:21]
You decide what the real name is there.
[1:25:24]
He's our producer.
[1:25:25]
He does a great job for us.
[1:25:26]
He's the best.
[1:25:28]
And just thank you for listening.
[1:25:30]
For The Flop House, I've been Dan McCoy.
[1:25:32]
I'm Stuart Wellington.
[1:25:34]
I'm Ellie Kalen.
[1:25:35]
I'm Hali Haglund.
[1:25:37]
Okay, bye.
[1:25:38]
See you in the funny pages.
[1:25:41]
I'm so surprised you didn't say ciao.
[1:25:48]
What do we got?
[1:25:49]
Mafia Mama?
[1:25:50]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1:25:51]
Yeah, okay.
[1:25:52]
Let's just roll right into it, shall we?
[1:25:56]
Sorry.
[1:25:58]
All right.
[1:26:01]
I'm just making myself up.
[1:26:03]
I'm sorry.
[1:26:04]
Just have a good time, okay, everybody?
[1:26:05]
Yeah, man, I'm having a great time.
[1:26:06]
Is that a crime now?
[1:26:07]
Yeah, apparently it was in Joe Biden's America.
[1:26:10]
Wow.
[1:26:12]
Trinchet.
[1:26:13]
Okay.
[1:26:14]
Thanks, Brandon.
[1:26:16]
That's the thing, right?
[1:26:17]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1:26:18]
That's what they say.
[1:26:19]
Yeah.
[1:26:20]
Maximum Fun.
[1:26:21]
A worker-owned network.
[1:26:22]
Of artist-owned shows.
[1:26:24]
Supported.
[1:26:25]
Directly.
[1:26:26]
By you.
Description
When a film hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a-mamma. Christmas came early for Stuart this year, as we FINALLY get to discuss his new favorite movie, Mafia Mamma. And to sweeten the deal, everyone's favorite Flop House sometime-co-host and star of the show, Hallie Haglund, dropped by to join in the fun! Not to put any of our other shows down, but THIS IS A GOOD ONE, FOLKS.
Wikipedia page for Mafia Mamma
Recommended in this episode:
Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/joinflop