FH Mini 93 - Happy Thanksgiving

[0:00] Hey, everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

Dan McCoy

[0:07] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:08] I'm Elliot Kalin. What are we doing on this episode today, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[0:12] Well, this is a mini. Normally on The Flophouse, we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[0:17] But every other week, we come to you with a marginally shorter, usually, episode where we just kind of do whatever.

[0:24] This time, I'm in charge.

[0:27] Uh-oh.

[0:28] Uh-oh.

[0:29] So, when this releases...

Elliott Kalan

[0:31] Don't tell mom the babysitter's Dan.

Dan McCoy

[0:35] Um, when you're listening to this, it will have just been Thanksgiving in America.

[0:42] And, of course, Thanksgiving and bad movies go together because...

[0:49] Okay, I'll buy into this premise. Please explain.

[0:52] We call bad movies turkey sometimes.

[0:55] Oh, yeah.

[0:56] The Golden Turkey Awards was a big part of that.

[1:00] And then, of course, Mystery Science Theater has their annual Turkey Day marathon.

[1:05] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05] There's a turkey trot where you run to a movie theater to watch a bad movie.

[1:09] Uh-huh.

Dan McCoy

[1:10] And then you get the trots.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12] And let's not forget that the nation of Turkey, the president, every year names his top worst movies of the year.

Dan McCoy

[1:20] Oh, wow.

[1:21] Yeah.

[1:22] And then everyone in Turkey has to watch them or be thrown in jail.

[1:25] Oh, that's fucked up.

[1:26] In honor of this...

[1:27] But fair.

[1:28] In honor of this film food crossover, I have prepared a movie-based Thanksgiving feast.

[1:36] How so?

[1:37] Well, I found a movie to represent each of the most common dishes you might find at a traditional American Thanksgiving meal.

[1:45] And as we know, when you have a Thanksgiving meal, it ends up being kind of buffet, family style, often where you take what you want.

[1:54] And maybe you don't take what you don't want or you take just a little bit so as to not hurt anyone's feelings.

[2:00] But there's so much food.

[2:01] You don't have to eat everything.

[2:02] Yeah, yeah.

[2:02] Of course.

[2:03] Yeah.

[2:03] Similarly here, I'm going to tell you a little bit about each movie.

[2:08] You're going to tell me whether you're going to add that movie to your plate or not.

[2:12] And I'll tell you one extra fact about that movie.

[2:14] See if that makes you more or less apt to take it.

[2:17] And lastly, for each of these, I'm going to ask in real life, this is a food that you enjoy.

[2:22] Is this something that you would add to your Thanksgiving plate?

Elliott Kalan

[2:24] I look forward to asking you to remind me what the rules of this thing are.

[2:29] Hell yeah.

Dan McCoy

[2:30] No, no, I mean, it's essentially a very simple idea, but I realized when writing it out that it'll take a little time.

[2:39] Okay.

[2:39] Best way to do it is to just get to it.

[2:42] That's awesome.

[2:43] We're going to start with the big one, Turkey.

Stuart Wellington

[2:46] Oh, man, centerpiece.

Dan McCoy

[2:47] Big dish.

[2:48] So to represent Turkey, the film that I've picked is Turkey Shoot from 1982.

[2:55] Okay.

[2:55] This is directed by Brian Trichard Smith, the exploitation director who did BMX Bandits and Dead End Drive-In,

[3:02] and also the Flophouse film Drive Hard.

[3:06] Ooh.

[3:07] And Turkey Shoot stars Steve Railsback and Olivia Hussey.

[3:11] Ooh.

[3:12] And I'll give you the IMDb summary.

[3:15] In a dystopian future where deviants are held in re-education camps, a freedom fighter and an innocent prisoner try to survive their decadent oppressor's game of kill or be killed.

[3:30] So, are you going to add a slice of turkey to your cinematic plate?

[3:34] Does this entice you?

[3:35] Yes.

[3:36] Yes or no?

[3:36] Yeah, I'm on board.

[3:37] Everything you said about it makes me want to watch it.

[3:40] Mm.

[3:41] Okay.

[3:42] Not a lot of discussion on that, but it's fun.

[3:44] Well, let's see.

[3:44] I mean, it's got a dystopian future.

Stuart Wellington

[3:46] It's called Turkey Shoot, so I'm like, is this an Ardman movie?

[3:49] It's not, apparently.

[3:51] But it's an Ozman movie because it's probably Australian.

[3:55] I don't recognize any of the actors because they're, you know, maybe—

[3:59] Not Olivia Hussey of Romeo and Juliet.

Elliott Kalan

[4:02] Olivia Hussey from Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet and many others.

[4:03] Steve Railsback from The Stuntman and also Nuki.

Stuart Wellington

[4:06] Guys, thank you so much.

[4:08] Thanks.

[4:08] That's why I hang out with Smarty Pants is they help me help fill in the blanks in my brain.

[4:13] Weirdos who remember things is boring.

Dan McCoy

[4:16] Mm-hmm.

[4:16] Okay.

[4:17] Well, so I don't have to sell it to—

Elliott Kalan

[4:19] Now, I believe—I wonder if this is the fact you're going to tell us.

[4:21] I believe this is the movie they're watching in Dead End Drive-In.

Dan McCoy

[4:24] That is not the fact, but that is interesting.

[4:26] I have seen this movie.

[4:28] I loved Dead End Drive-In, and I loved the not-quite-Hollywood.

[4:33] Hospitalitation documentary.

[4:35] I was like, oh, let me check out Turkey Shoot.

[4:37] I don't want to influence you too much, but this one bored me a little bit more than—

[4:42] It's got its charms, but—

[4:44] Mm.

[4:44] Now, you've already added some to your plate.

[4:47] I'm going to ask you—

[4:47] Let's see if we're going to scrape it off.

[4:49] Well, you scrape it up or—

[4:51] Scrape it off.

Stuart Wellington

[4:52] Or add another slice.

Dan McCoy

[4:53] Or you're going to get some seconds here.

[4:55] Here's the extra fact.

[4:57] Trivia.

[4:58] The nude extras in the group shower scene were from a local hippie commune.

[5:03] Does that do anything for you one way or the other?

Elliott Kalan

[5:05] Makes me a little bit less interested in watching it, to be honest.

[5:07] Yeah, really, actually.

[5:07] Yeah.

[5:08] I want only professionals, please, in my nudity.

[5:12] I don't know.

[5:13] I mean, hippies are pretty professionally used.

[5:15] Like, they just stole some.

[5:16] That's true.

[5:16] It wasn't like a security camera footage that they repurposed.

[5:20] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[5:21] Okay, so you're a little mixed now on the turkey movie.

Elliott Kalan

[5:26] No, I'll—look, dystopian, kill or be killed, Steve Railsback and Olivia Hussey.

[5:30] I'll watch it, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[5:31] Guaranteed shower scene.

[5:33] Okay.

[5:34] And now for the culinary side of this.

[5:36] Mm.

[5:36] Turkey as Thanksgiving food.

[5:39] You going to add that to your plate?

[5:40] What do you think?

Stuart Wellington

[5:42] I've never been a big turkey fan.

[5:44] It's a little dry.

[5:45] It's not particularly exciting.

[5:46] It's kind of, like, there to do it.

[5:48] I mean, I've definitely had good—

[5:50] It is there to do it.

[5:51] That's true.

[5:52] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[5:52] Like, it's there to, like, exist.

[5:53] Nothing to it, but to do it.

Stuart Wellington

[5:54] You need to have, like—

Elliott Kalan

[5:55] Unlike other food, which is there for other reasons not to eat.

[5:59] Yeah.

[6:00] I'm going to take some.

[6:00] I like turkey.

[6:01] I don't love turkey breast meat because it is a little dry.

[6:04] Yeah.

[6:04] Turkey thighs, though, delicious.

[6:06] I love them.

[6:07] Yeah.

[6:07] The thigh is the best part of the chicken.

[6:08] It's the best part of the turkey.

[6:09] It's the best part—

[6:10] I haven't eaten a buffalo, but it's probably the best part of that, too.

Dan McCoy

[6:13] That roast turkey skin, too.

[6:14] Pretty good.

[6:15] Oh, yeah.

[6:16] Wonderful.

[6:16] Yeah, that's great.

[6:17] Yeah, it's not my favorite meat, but, you know, if I'm at a traditional Thanksgiving,

[6:22] I'm going to take some turkey.

Stuart Wellington

[6:23] Sure.

[6:24] Yeah.

[6:24] I mean, I'll still—I'm not a huge fan, but I'll still have some.

Elliott Kalan

[6:27] And also, for the novelty, how often do you eat roast turkey for dinner?

[6:30] Very rarely.

[6:30] Rarely.

Stuart Wellington

[6:31] Yeah, with like a giant napkin tucked into your shirt, like a bib with a giant cutlery

[6:36] to cut it up with.

[6:38] Yeah, and a hat with a buckle on it, like a pilgrim.

Dan McCoy

[6:40] None of these things are required for eating turkey, but—

[6:43] I'm not so sure about that.

[6:43] You're going to get that shit all over yourself, dude.

[6:46] Okay.

[6:46] All right.

[6:47] Well, moving along, you can't have turkey without stuffing, of course.

[6:52] You can.

[6:52] And so to represent stuffing—no, it's illegally.

[6:55] You can't do it.

[6:56] So to represent stuffing, I have chosen the film Stuffings from 2021.

[7:04] Not the movie The Stuff.

[7:06] Okay, interesting.

[7:06] That's what I was expecting.

[7:08] It's directed by Matthew J. Wilkinson,

[7:11] who seems to be a director of low-budget horror, also from Australia.

[7:15] And the IMDb summary says—

[7:18] This is really good.

Stuart Wellington

[7:19] I'm going to Australia in the new year,

[7:20] so this is really going to be valuable knowledge for my vacation.

Elliott Kalan

[7:24] And I love that this quintessential American holiday

[7:26] is so far represented by two Australian films.

Dan McCoy

[7:29] You're going to walk around being like,

[7:29] have you seen Stuffings?

[7:31] Have you seen Stuffings?

Stuart Wellington

[7:32] And they're like, oh, oh, oh, right?

Dan McCoy

[7:35] And I'm like, I don't know.

[7:36] I can't understand you.

[7:39] The summary says,

[7:41] a self-obsessed social media celebrity couple—

[7:45] celebrity couple, sorry—

[7:46] camp out in the Adelaide Hills on Christmas Eve

[7:49] only to stumble onto a community

[7:51] hiding a secret tradition to protect the 25th of December.

[7:56] Hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[7:57] Seems more like Christmas.

[7:59] Yeah, I mean, what is this, Die Hard or something?

[8:02] The initial pitch has not warmed me to this stuffing.

Elliott Kalan

[8:07] No, me either.

[8:08] I don't know how you would protect a day.

[8:10] I don't know what that means.

[8:10] Yeah, we're going to need more info.

Dan McCoy

[8:12] Well, what about this trivia?

[8:14] Toward the end of filming,

[8:16] the police arrived on set thinking something may have happened

[8:19] to director Matthew J. Wilkinson

[8:21] after a local noticed fake blood all through his car.

[8:24] Does that do anything for you, movie-wise?

[8:26] Not really.

[8:27] I guess there's fake blood in it.

[8:27] Blood.

Elliott Kalan

[8:28] I mean, there's blood.

[8:29] It tells you there's blood.

[8:30] Okay, well—

[8:31] I know it ends up in a car,

[8:33] or it just spilled while they were transforming it.

[8:36] Yeah.

[8:37] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[8:38] All right.

[8:39] Well, sorry, stuffing.

[8:41] Cinematically, you're not on the plate,

[8:43] but what do you guys think about stuffing as a food?

Stuart Wellington

[8:47] I'm a fan.

[8:48] I mean, it's like bread, often some sausage,

[8:51] maybe some nuts for crunch or cranberries.

Elliott Kalan

[8:54] Yeah, we often have celery in ours for crunch.

[8:57] I like it when it doesn't have like raisins or cranberries in it, though.

[9:00] As it's been stated, I am an anti-fruit eater.

Dan McCoy

[9:04] Yeah.

[9:05] I mean, I'm not with you on the general anti-fruit.

[9:08] I'm not wild about it in stuffing.

[9:13] I'm also not wild about a cornbread stuffing.

[9:15] I'd rather have a traditional—

[9:16] But you are wild about Harry.

[9:17] And Harry's wild about me.

[9:19] That's not what I heard.

[9:20] That's Harry's law we're talking about, right?

Elliott Kalan

[9:23] Yeah.

[9:24] Harry's law states that you are wild about Harry,

[9:26] and Harry is also reflexively wild about you.

Dan McCoy

[9:29] Honestly, to me, stuffing is the king of the Thanksgiving table.

[9:33] It is just carbs that has soaked up meat juice.

[9:37] Mm-hmm.

[9:37] And you can use it as a receptacle for gravy,

[9:42] which is the next on the list.

[9:44] Oh, yay.

[9:45] Here it is.

[9:47] Gravy.

[9:47] This is represented by the 2015 movie, Gravy.

Elliott Kalan

[9:53] All right.

[9:54] Works out.

Dan McCoy

[9:55] This film was directed by James Roday Rodriguez,

[9:59] who you may know as TV's Psych.

[10:01] I don't know him as that.

[10:04] Well, just listen.

Stuart Wellington

[10:05] That was the show.

[10:06] Didn't you write that show?

Dan McCoy

[10:07] Didn't you come up with the idea for that show?

[10:09] That's true.

[10:09] I did have the premise for that show.

[10:12] I'm like, that would be a good idea for a show.

[10:13] And then a couple years later, I'm like, oh, that's the show I thought would be a good premise.

[10:17] Anyway.

[10:18] Is that grounds for a lawsuit?

[10:19] Not that I told it to anyone.

[10:20] I just.

[10:20] Oh, then you don't have grounds for a lawsuit.

[10:22] Yeah.

[10:22] No, I don't.

[10:22] No, no, no, no.

[10:23] No one saw it.

Elliott Kalan

[10:23] I mean, if that's the case, then I can take credit for any number of premises that I thought would be good.

[10:27] I just never told anybody about it.

[10:28] Yeah, exactly.

[10:29] Oh, yeah.

[10:30] Avatar?

[10:30] I thought of that.

Dan McCoy

[10:30] I thought Avatar.

[10:31] Yeah.

[10:32] The only bragging rights I have was accurately thinking of a good premise.

[10:38] Yeah.

[10:39] I did nothing with it.

[10:39] Doing nothing with it.

[10:41] Yeah.

[10:41] Sitting on it.

[10:42] Sounds like this has an impressive cast gravy for a movie that I am unfamiliar with.

[10:47] Michael Weston, Jimmy Simpson, Gabourey Sidibe, Dulé Hill, Sarah Silverman, and a bunch of other people that I don't have time to mention.

[10:57] Busy man.

[10:58] Wow.

[10:59] Here's the summary.

[11:00] Busy thinking up premises that he's not going to do a damn thing with.

[11:03] Yeah.

[11:03] The summary is, it's all Hallow's Eve.

[11:07] A trio of costume misfits with very special dietary requirements seize a Mexican cantina and force the staff.

[11:16] Is this a Mad Libs movie?

[11:18] What's going on?

[11:19] They seize a Mexican cantina and force the staff to engage in a night of gaming, food, and libations.

[11:28] The only caveat is what's on the menu.

Stuart Wellington

[11:32] So I was out, but then I heard they're doing a game.

[11:36] It's the gaming.

[11:37] It's the gaming that got me back in.

[11:39] I can't wait.

[11:39] I want to see if they're like cracking out Settlers or maybe doing like a Twilight Imperium game all night.

[11:46] Just a few hands of Dominion.

Elliott Kalan

[11:48] Yeah, yeah, sure.

Dan McCoy

[11:48] So Stu slathering himself in gravy.

[11:50] What do you say?

Elliott Kalan

[11:50] The game would be on when you heard that something was on the menu since, as we know, in the Lord of the Rings films, they make a big deal out of meat being back on the menu.

[11:58] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[11:58] Because they're going to eat another orc.

Elliott Kalan

[12:02] I'm going to say maybe it's just because I was expecting.

[12:04] That's the meat.

[12:04] I wasn't expecting a movie about a different holiday to rear its head yet again in our Thanksgiving game.

[12:10] But I'm going to say this one has not caught my attention.

[12:12] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[12:13] Well, how about this piece of trivia from IMDb?

[12:17] This is in the IMDb trivia section.

[12:19] All right.

[12:20] Here's some trivia for you.

Stuart Wellington

[12:21] He's delivering this shit like he's Jareth.

Dan McCoy

[12:25] How about this trivia?

[12:27] In the scene with Anson and Carrie in the supply closet, he says, oh, no, I've said too much.

[12:36] She replies, you haven't said enough.

[12:39] This is paraphrasing a lyric.

Elliott Kalan

[12:40] Hard pass.

[12:41] Hard pass.

Stuart Wellington

[12:42] Tomorrow I am losing my religion.

[12:44] Not interested.

[12:45] No, thank you.

[12:46] Okay.

[12:47] Going in for seconds.

[12:48] I like what this movie's serving.

[12:50] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[12:51] Speaking of liking what it's serving, what about gravy, the food?

[12:55] How are you going to take some gravy?

[12:57] I honestly don't usually take gravy, but sometimes I will.

[13:00] That is madness.

Elliott Kalan

[13:01] Yeah.

[13:02] Don't you like your food wet?

[13:03] I like the take, that's why I eat the thigh because that's the wet part of the bird.

[13:07] You can slop it up even more.

[13:09] You can make it even wetter.

[13:10] Slop all over the place.

[13:11] Right.

[13:11] I guess, you know what?

[13:12] It could be drenched.

[13:14] It could just be dripping.

Stuart Wellington

[13:14] No, it's concentrated meat flavor.

[13:17] I'm into it.

[13:17] In liquid form.

[13:19] I'm not like super into like a country gravy.

[13:22] Like a sawmill?

[13:23] Yeah, like sawmill gravy.

[13:24] Like a white gravy?

[13:25] Like a wet, white.

Dan McCoy

[13:26] I like that, but not for this purpose.

[13:28] I like that on biscuits.

[13:29] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[13:30] That's good biscuit gravy.

[13:31] All right.

[13:32] You know what?

[13:32] I'll just drench my plate in gravy this year.

Stuart Wellington

[13:35] And did you know that in some cultures you would call pasta sauce gravy?

[13:41] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[13:42] I do know that.

[13:43] Culture?

[13:44] Italy?

[13:45] Italian?

Elliott Kalan

[13:46] Brooklyn, Italian.

[13:47] Italian, American in a certain part of the tri-state area.

[13:50] Yeah.

[13:51] Okay.

[13:52] Well.

[13:53] I remember, I think I've talked to before possibly about when my landlords in Brooklyn.

[13:57] You said possibly, right?

[13:58] Yeah.

[13:59] Possibilities.

[14:00] It was a possibility that I might have said, my landlords in Brooklyn, they asked me if I

[14:04] wanted to come down, because I lived above them, for some macaroni and gravy.

[14:07] And I imagined macaroni noodles in turkey gravy.

[14:10] And I was like, that sounds terrible.

[14:12] But it was just spaghetti and tomato sauce.

Dan McCoy

[14:14] Actually, I feel like that sounds pretty good.

[14:16] It's like a stroganoff almost.

[14:19] Okay.

[14:20] Well, before we go to our break, there's one more food, cinematic food I'm going to ask

[14:26] you about.

[14:28] Sweet potatoes, of course, a part of the plate.

[14:32] Are they a part of the plate or they're food you're eating off the plate?

[14:35] They're food you're eating off the plate.

[14:35] I don't have a plate that's made out of sweet potatoes.

[14:37] They're a component of a plate you might assemble at Thanksgiving.

Elliott Kalan

[14:41] Wait, so I have to make my own plate out of sweet potatoes before I get food off of it?

Dan McCoy

[14:45] Here, take these Legos.

Elliott Kalan

[14:47] And by the way, some of the Legos are sweet potatoes.

[14:49] Did I forget to mention that?

[14:51] Yeah.

[14:52] Will Arnett's challenges are getting so strange in the later seasons of Lego Masters.

Dan McCoy

[14:57] You know, you may just have them in potato form.

[15:00] You're from the Midwest, or the South.

[15:03] You might slap some marshmallows on there.

[15:05] Have a casserole.

[15:06] Weird.

Dan McCoy

[15:07] Yeah.

[15:09] I mean, I don't mind a marshmallow-y sweet potato casserole, but I agree with you that

[15:15] like, they're already sweet.

[15:16] It's in the name.

[15:17] You don't need the marshmallows.

[15:19] But anyway.

[15:20] But I do love to eat things from marshes.

[15:24] We picked these mallows out of the marsh.

Elliott Kalan

[15:27] What kind of mallows are these?

[15:28] Where are these mallows from?

[15:29] A marsh?

[15:31] These are field mallows.

[15:34] We have a selection of mountain mallows and desert mallows.

Dan McCoy

[15:40] Ah, the mountain mallows call to me.

[15:43] So, to represent this, I have the film Sweet Potato Pie from 2004.

[15:52] And the summary goes like this.

[15:54] Taking its cue from the successful American Pie franchise, Dale Steely's sex comedy Sweet

[16:00] Potato Pie follows the exploits of three friends named Chuck, Perry, and Trey.

[16:06] The threesome set out on a road trip in order to try and shed their pesky virginity.

[16:11] Oh.

[16:11] It is pesky, isn't it?

[16:12] It is pesky.

[16:13] Always getting in the way.

[16:14] Always getting in the way.

Dan McCoy

[16:14] Leave you alone.

[16:15] And end up involved.

[16:16] Like a fly buzzing around your head.

Stuart Wellington

[16:18] Like the fucking Scooby-Doo gang.

Dan McCoy

[16:20] And end up involved with.

[16:21] Is that why the Scooby-Doo gang went on the road?

[16:23] Yeah.

[16:25] Get rid of their pesky virginity.

[16:27] End up involved with a sexually seasoned woman named Anaconda, a horny and overweight

[16:32] neighbor, and the title food.

[16:35] So what are you guys going to put a slice of this sweet potato pie on your movie plate?

Stuart Wellington

[16:43] I mean, I would mainly want to watch it in the company of our friend Chris Weitz to see

[16:49] how he feels about it.

[16:50] Whether he has the legal action that he wants to take.

Elliott Kalan

[16:52] I mean, you can't copyright the idea of pie.

[16:55] Yeah.

[16:55] Or else Darren Aronofsky would have both of them in court.

[16:58] Yeah.

[17:00] True.

Stuart Wellington

[17:01] That's actually why that dude drilled a hole in his head.

[17:04] So he was trying to lose his pesky virginity.

Elliott Kalan

[17:07] He said, you know, I heard that having sex is like putting your penis in your own brain.

[17:14] So yeah, I'm going to pass on this one as well.

[17:16] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[17:16] Well, before you pass entirely, one more detail.

[17:19] Oh, that's right.

[17:20] There's the trivia.

Elliott Kalan

[17:20] This will turn it around.

[17:21] Sure.

Stuart Wellington

[17:22] You're about to walk away from the table only to be pulled back in.

Dan McCoy

[17:26] Hold on.

[17:26] Listen to this.

[17:27] There's no trivia.

[17:29] But the one item in IMDb's quotes section is this.

[17:33] It's from the character Trey.

[17:35] Okay.

[17:36] Okay.

[17:36] Previously mentioned.

[17:37] What's crackalackin'.

[17:38] That's the quote.

[17:40] Yeah.

[17:40] Apparently, the sweet potato pie claims that what's crackalackin' is a notable quotable solely

[17:49] from that movie.

[17:51] Not just a bit of slang that people might say.

[17:55] Yeah.

[17:56] Does that make you more or less interested?

Elliott Kalan

[17:59] I'm going to say, I didn't think it was possible to dial down my interest any further, but

[18:03] it is.

[18:03] It turns out.

[18:04] This one, much as Spinal Tap's speakers go to 11, my interest apparently goes to negative

[18:08] numbers.

[18:09] It's a negative one.

Dan McCoy

[18:10] The what's crackalackin' appears in brackets in the quotes section.

[18:14] I'm not sure why.

[18:16] Oh, because he's just thinking it.

[18:16] It sounds like it's a stage direction.

[18:18] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:18] It's an action.

[18:20] Yeah.

[18:20] Walk in with the feeling of what's crackalackin'.

[18:22] Yeah.

[18:23] But don't say it.

Dan McCoy

[18:26] Well, let's move on to what are your feelings about sweet potatoes, the food?

[18:31] What do you, are you going to put on some sweet potatoes there?

Elliott Kalan

[18:34] I might.

[18:35] We eat a lot of sweet potatoes in my house and I've, before, I don't really, I didn't

[18:40] love them growing up, but I like the way my wife cooks them.

[18:42] So maybe I'll have some.

[18:44] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[18:45] I'm a fan.

[18:45] I kind of prefer them to be roasted, ideally, and not with marshmallows or with like brown

[18:51] sugar.

[18:52] Oh yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:52] We always roast them until they're crisp.

Stuart Wellington

[18:54] We never, we never put any other sweet stuff on them.

[18:56] My wife is a, is offended by sweet potatoes because she doesn't think they deserve to also

[19:03] have the name potato, to share the name potato with actual potatoes.

[19:06] Interesting.

[19:07] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[19:08] Well, I, yes, I can see how one would feel that way because I know that there's a potato

[19:13] mania among many.

[19:15] Many people love potatoes.

[19:17] I, I am sort of mid on potatoes.

[19:21] I don't, you know, like they can be good.

[19:23] I don't, I'm not like, I've never been nutty for fries.

[19:25] Like some people are.

[19:27] I mean, fries are delicious.

[19:28] I mean, fried potatoes are objectively delicious.

[19:30] I will eat them.

[19:30] Like sometimes they're great.

[19:32] I'm just saying that like, I don't have the craving for a potato dish that a lot of

[19:37] people do.

[19:38] I see.

[19:38] And yeah, I would take some sweet potatoes partly because as starches go, it's a healthy

[19:44] one.

Elliott Kalan

[19:45] It actually has a lot of.

[19:46] That's why we, and that's why we have them a lot of our houses.

[19:48] We like potatoes in our family, but it is healthier to have a sweet potato than a, than a proper

[19:53] potato.

Dan McCoy

[19:55] Ironically, the one time that something sweet is healthier.

Stuart Wellington

[19:59] Like normally, normally if you want a tart, you don't want to eat sweet tarts because they're

[20:04] too bad for you.

[20:05] But if you eat regular tarts, they're fine.

[20:07] That's right.

[20:09] It was a long one, but I think I got to where it was going.

[20:11] Like a lemon tart.

Dan McCoy

[20:15] Hey, oddly enough, with a, with a premise like this, this show does have sponsors and one

[20:21] of them is Aura Frames.

[20:24] Finding the perfect gift can be really hard sometimes.

[20:26] And that's where Aura Frames comes in.

[20:29] Name the number one best digital frame by Wirecutter.

[20:32] They're an easy, thoughtful gift to get your loved ones.

[20:36] And, you know, this is a, I agree this is a great gift to give people because, especially

[20:42] in your family, because it puts the focus on, like you can display photos of your family.

Elliott Kalan

[20:48] Parents and grandparents love getting a digital picture frame already preloaded with pictures

[20:53] of their kids and grandkids.

[20:54] They love it.

Dan McCoy

[20:55] And I have one of these things and I, I really like it because, you know.

[21:00] What do you put pictures in of it?

[21:02] Most of all, I mean, you know, mostly.

[21:03] I like my hidden folder to it.

[21:06] Yeah.

[21:08] I did.

[21:08] No, that is one of the brilliant things about the frame.

[21:10] You, you specify what folder it is so there are no accidents.

Elliott Kalan

[21:14] Oops.

[21:14] Uh-oh.

[21:15] But, uh, no, I.

[21:16] Like in the hit, like in the hit comedy Sex Frame?

[21:19] Uh-huh.

Dan McCoy

[21:20] Uh, what's that, what's that called?

[21:23] The one that was like, it's all in the cloud.

[21:25] The sex tape.

[21:26] Sex tape, right?

[21:26] Yeah.

[21:27] Yeah.

[21:27] Um, no, no, I picture, like pictures of me and Audrey, uh, pictures of the cats.

[21:33] You guys show up in some of the pictures that are on there.

[21:35] Oh, that's sweet.

Stuart Wellington

[21:36] And you're like, oh, those fucking guys.

Dan McCoy

[21:38] I mean, if you live in this modern world, I feel like if you're anything like me, you

[21:42] take pictures, they're on your phone, you forget about them.

[21:45] You don't want to know what you're doing.

[21:46] Yeah, you never look at them.

[21:47] Because that's, you know, like then they're gone.

[21:50] It's like erasing their past.

[21:51] That's the only copy you have.

[21:52] Uh-huh.

[21:53] But you don't see them.

[21:53] That's what the movie Eraser is about.

[21:55] And so, it's nice to have.

[21:56] Mm-hmm.

[21:56] And the movie Eraser hit.

[21:59] It's nice to have a way to get those photos out in front of your eyes rather than hidden

[22:02] away on your phone.

[22:04] You can upload as many pictures as you want before and after it's shipped out from anywhere.

[22:08] So, if you want to gift someone, like Elliot said, you can preload it.

[22:12] Great gift.

[22:12] Makes a great gift.

[22:13] You don't have to agonize over choosing just one perfect photo.

[22:16] There's unlimited storage and grandpa or mom or whoever can swipe the top of the frame

[22:22] to see everything and pick their favorites as well.

[22:25] So, if you want to make holiday shopping easier than ever, give a thoughtful gift that they

[22:30] will love.

[22:31] You can get an Aura frame from now through Black Friday and Cyber Monday.

[22:35] Ooh.

[22:36] Oof.

[22:36] That's close.

[22:37] Visit AuraFrames.com and get $40 off their best-selling Carver Matte Frame with the code

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[22:45] This is the best deal of the year.

[22:46] So, get yours now.

[22:47] That's Aura.

[22:48] A-U-R-A.

[22:50] Frames.com with the promo code FLOP.

[22:53] Terms and conditions apply.

Stuart Wellington

[22:55] Speaking of keeping your digital stuff safe, today's episode is sponsored in part by Nord

[23:03] VPN.

[23:04] Nord VPN is easy to use.

[23:06] You can connect with one click or enable auto-connect for zero-click protection.

[23:11] Nord VPN has amazing speed.

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[23:17] Nord VPN is the fastest VPN out there.

[23:21] And it works on up to six devices on every major platform.

[23:25] And this is a key point for, I think, some of our Flophouse listeners.

[23:29] Nord VPN can be used to watch TV and films not available in your region by switching your

[23:35] virtual location.

[23:36] That's huge because in this era of streaming, so much stuff is being stripped away.

[23:40] You can't always find what you're looking for.

[23:42] And Nord VPN might be able to help.

[23:44] So, to get our exclusive discount off of your Nord VPN plan, plus four months for free,

[23:51] go to https backslash backslash nordvpn.com slash flophouse.

[23:58] It's completely risk-free with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee.

[24:02] That's nordvpn.com slash flophouse.

Elliott Kalan

[24:07] We've also got a Jumbotron message, and this Jumbotron is a little bit different than usual.

[24:11] Usually, we say who it's for and who it's from.

[24:14] But this time, the Jumbotron writer has withheld that information to make the subject of the

[24:19] Jumbotron guess, if it's really for them.

[24:21] It'll be revealed at the end of the message.

[24:23] So, the message begins.

[24:25] See if you can guess who you are.

[24:26] Here are some hints.

[24:27] So, Nathan, I hope you guessed it ahead of time.

[24:54] But, hey, it's no mystery that the Flophouse would like to go on tour again.

[24:59] And you know what?

[25:00] It is!

[25:01] So, guys, let's take a moment to talk about the Flophouse Grand West Coast Tour,

[25:05] starting and ending in late January, because it's four stops all in a row.

[25:10] One of them, unfortunately, we cannot quite announce just yet,

[25:13] but the other ones I'm happy to announce will be in Portland, Oregon,

[25:15] at the Aladdin Theater on Thursday, January 25th.

[25:18] We'll be in San Francisco at Cobb's Comedy Club as part of San Francisco Sketch Fest

[25:22] on Friday, January 26th.

[25:24] And we'll be in Los Angeles at the Regent Theater on Sunday, January 28th.

[25:29] We're very excited.

[25:30] We haven't done a lot of live shows.

[25:31] We just had our video shows, and they were super fun.

[25:33] We're going to be doing these again.

[25:34] We're going to pick the movies soon.

[25:36] It's going to be great.

[25:37] We can't wait to get out.

[25:38] I've been picking out all these outfits to wear.

[25:41] It's the Stuart's process.

[25:42] He starts with the outfits.

[25:44] We're going to be part of San Francisco.

Dan McCoy

[25:44] Stuart has new shirts that he probably wants to wear.

Elliott Kalan

[25:47] Probably shirts.

[25:48] Probably pants.

[25:49] It's going to be part of San Francisco Sketch Fest, which we wanted to be a part of for years,

[25:53] and they finally let us in.

[25:54] So we're very excited about it.

[25:55] So that's in Portland, Oregon.

Stuart Wellington

[25:56] We're finally tall enough to enter, I believe.

[25:57] It turns out the secret was asking.

[25:59] It turns out all we had to do was ask.

Elliott Kalan

[26:02] Portland, Oregon, January 25th.

[26:04] San Francisco, January 26th.

[26:05] And Los Angeles, January 28th.

[26:07] To buy tickets and for all that information, again, go to the events section of FlophousePodcast.com.

[26:13] If Dan remembers to put it up, and hopefully he will.

[26:16] We're all pulling for him.

[26:17] We're all going to give him our thoughts and prayers that he remembers to put that information

[26:20] up there on the events section of FlophousePodcast.com.

[26:23] But hey, guess what?

[26:25] If you're not on the West Coast, you can still see us, just not in person, but through your

[26:29] computer screen.

[26:29] Because Flop TV keeps a rolling on, just like Old Man River, but funnier, and also with

[26:36] us instead of some weird river that's really an old man.

[26:39] So our next episode is December 2nd.

[26:42] That'll be a Saturday night, 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[26:45] And we're talking about a movie that, until we talk about it, I'm not quite sure that it

[26:49] exists.

[26:50] I'm not sure it exists.

[26:50] And that's Ballistic X vs. Sever, a movie that we had to go to extreme lengths to find

[26:55] a copy of in order to watch.

[26:58] It's going to be fun.

[26:59] This is a movie we've talked about as a reference for years, but none of us have seen it.

[27:02] And it's going to be super fun to find out who X and Sever are.

Stuart Wellington

[27:05] Yeah, we had to break into the Lucy Liu to get a copy.

Dan McCoy

[27:10] Did you know that she's like an acclaimed painter?

[27:12] That's a side thing.

[27:13] I believe it.

Elliott Kalan

[27:13] She seems like she's got a real artistic soul.

[27:15] She's not always X or Sever, whichever one she is.

[27:17] Whichever one.

[27:18] We'll find out.

[27:19] That's December 2nd at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[27:22] Go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com for tickets to watch us talk about it live.

[27:27] If you can't make it to the live broadcast, that's okay.

[27:31] As always, your ticket or season pass, if you get one, gives you access to the recorded

[27:36] video of the show.

[27:37] And if you get a season pass, it gives you access to all of the shows we've done.

[27:41] They will be up through January since our last episode is the beginning of January.

[27:44] So you have through January to watch those episodes.

[27:47] If you want to buy a ticket, a season pass on January 23rd and watch all the episodes in

[27:52] a row, just binge it.

[27:53] Go for it.

[27:54] I won't stop you.

[27:55] Go ahead and do it.

[27:55] No, do it.

[27:56] Go nasty.

[27:57] Get nasty.

[27:58] That's all the Flophouse-specific announcements.

[27:59] I want to say I have two personal things to promote.

[28:01] When this episode comes out, it'll be the end of the week when Hades number four is in comic

[28:06] shops.

[28:07] That's my series, Disney Villains Hades, which I've been writing for Dynamite Comics.

[28:11] It's a five-issue miniseries.

[28:12] It's a heist set in ancient Greece in mythological times.

[28:16] And it's super fun and funny.

[28:18] The artist on it, Alessandro Rinaldi, is doing a great job on it.

[28:23] I really love the way it looks.

[28:24] So that's Hades in comic stores now.

[28:26] And beginning of December, you'll be able to tune in to the 99% Invisible feed to hear

[28:31] the Power Broker podcast that Roman Mars and I are doing.

[28:34] I'm super excited about that too.

[28:35] In the first episode, we're talking to Conan O'Brien about the work of Robert Caro.

[28:39] I think it'll be a real fun series.

[28:41] This is the introductory episode.

[28:42] You don't have to have read any of the Power Broker yet.

[28:44] This is to get you up to speed on what the book is and why you should spend the next year

[28:48] reading it along with us.

Stuart Wellington

[28:50] Also, my bar Minis just got a new sweatshirt design and it goes on sale this week.

[28:56] It was designed by an artist and friend of the bar, Juan Pablo Ayala, who unfortunately

[29:02] passed away earlier this year.

[29:04] The sweatshirts are $50 plus shipping and a portion of the sale will go to a charity called

[29:09] to write on her arms in his memory.

[29:13] To order one in time for the holidays, go over to MinisBarBK on Instagram and follow the link

[29:20] in our bio, baby.

S4

[29:27] Save yourself from this terrible fate by listening to Reading Glasses.

[29:45] We'll help you get those borrowed books back and solve all your other reader problems.

[29:50] Reading Glasses, every Thursday on Maximum Fun.

[29:54] I'm Emily Heller.

[29:55] And I'm Lisa Hanawalt.

[29:56] And we're the hosts of Baby Geniuses.

[29:59] We've been doing our podcast for over 10 years.

[30:01] When we started, it was about trying to learn something new every episode.

[30:05] Now it's about us trying to actively get stupider.

[30:08] And it's working.

[30:10] Hang out with us and you'll hear us chat about...

[30:13] Gardening.

[30:15] Horses.

[30:15] Various problems with our butts.

[30:17] And all the weird stuff that makes us horny.

[30:20] That's so weird.

[30:21] All that stuff.

[30:23] Baby Geniuses.

[30:24] A show for adult idiots.

[30:25] Every other week on Maximum Fun.

Elliott Kalan

[30:29] We know everything.

[30:32] Tell us something we don't know.

Dan McCoy

[30:34] All right.

[30:35] So, back to...

[30:38] The mini.

[30:39] I was going to say back to the game.

[30:40] It's not a game.

[30:41] It's just kind of just...

[30:42] It's a conversation.

[30:43] Life's a game.

[30:44] Yeah.

[30:45] Play hard.

[30:45] And we all play our part.

[30:47] The next...

[30:49] The next dish.

[30:51] Sure.

[30:51] Is cranberry sauce.

[30:53] And the film representing cranberry sauce is...

[30:57] From 1910.

[30:58] It's a short film.

[31:00] It's called...

[31:01] A Jar of Cranberry Sauce.

[31:03] Or...

[31:04] The Crime in Room 13.

[31:07] And...

[31:08] LA, is this your favorite movie?

Elliott Kalan

[31:11] Yeah.

[31:11] Not familiar with it.

Dan McCoy

[31:13] But I'm looking to find out more.

[31:14] It is from 1910.

[31:14] So, it's probably your favorite movie, right?

[31:16] Yeah.

[31:16] Probably.

Elliott Kalan

[31:17] That's not even the kind of old movie I like the best.

Dan McCoy

[31:21] The IMDb summary is a long synopsis of the entire short from...

[31:25] Courtesy of something called Moving Picture World.

[31:28] So, I will just give the first paragraph of that.

[31:31] The story starts with the departure for the metropolis of Silas.

[31:36] So, that's the beginning of...

[31:43] I feel like...

[31:51] She wins him over to her way of thinking by putting in a jar of cranberry sauce.

[31:57] And he takes his departure with it.

[31:58] And he takes his departure with it.

[31:59] And a cheerful countenance in consequence thereof.

[32:03] So, that's the beginning of...

Elliott Kalan

[32:05] I feel like I don't have to watch it now.

Dan McCoy

[32:08] Right?

[32:08] The jar of cranberry sauce or the crime in room 13.

[32:11] That is just the very beginning of a...

[32:13] Oh, okay.

[32:14] Just a long...

Stuart Wellington

[32:15] Yeah.

[32:15] That's a little moose-bouche for this movie.

Dan McCoy

[32:18] So, I don't know.

[32:20] Are you slapping some of the sauce on your brain?

Elliott Kalan

[32:22] I'm not going to get sauce to us.

[32:23] I think I got to find out what happens with that sauce.

[32:25] Yeah.

[32:25] I got to find out.

[32:26] I'll watch it.

[32:27] How long is the movie?

[32:27] No sauce for you, Stu?

Dan McCoy

[32:28] No sauce for me.

[32:30] Let me look that up while you discuss cranberry sauce a bit more.

[32:34] Or this movie.

Stuart Wellington

[32:34] Normally, I'm a real sauce freak.

[32:35] But this time, I'm saying hold that sweet juice.

[32:38] A jar of cranberry sauce.

Elliott Kalan

[32:41] Now, if we're talking about cranberry sauce, the food, I don't want any of that.

[32:44] Keep it off my plate.

[32:45] No, thank you.

Dan McCoy

[32:46] We'll get to it.

[32:47] We'll get to it.

Elliott Kalan

[32:48] I'm just trying to fill the space as you...

Dan McCoy

[32:50] I know.

[32:50] I'm sorry.

[32:51] Are you a sauce guy?

[32:51] Do you like dips?

[32:53] Are you a dip guy?

[32:53] I didn't have an answer to.

[32:55] And it turns out there is no time listed on IMDb.

[32:59] So, I don't know how long this short is.

[33:00] It could be anywhere from five minutes to five million years.

[33:04] Here's the next part of it.

[33:06] To see whether...

[33:07] I'll give you a little more.

[33:09] To see whether you're more or less enticed.

[33:10] And the little more is that I could not find any additional information about this film.

[33:16] Not just on IMDb, but by searching Google with the title.

[33:21] So, does that mystery entice you?

[33:23] Well, now I feel like I have...

Elliott Kalan

[33:24] Yeah, I want the answers to those questions now.

Dan McCoy

[33:26] Yeah, this movie...

[33:27] It is a very intriguing title, I gotta say.

[33:31] A Jar of Cranberry Sauce, semi-colon, or, comma, The Crime in Room 13.

Elliott Kalan

[33:38] I'm guessing it's not that exciting a crime.

[33:40] Like, that's the kind of thing you see in a lot of those silent shorts.

[33:42] It'll be like, it'll be, you know, a hunk of ham or her indelicate proposition.

[33:48] And it turns out it's like, you know, somebody invited the wrong person to a party or something.

[33:52] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[33:53] Okay, well, the food.

[33:54] Let's move on to the food.

[33:55] Sure.

[33:57] Now, Elliot said no Cranberry Sauce.

[34:00] I guess this is not surprising, given his anti-fruit stance.

[34:04] Exactly.

[34:05] I'm nothing if not consistent in this one instance.

[34:08] Stuart, what do you guys think?

[34:08] This is my consistent instant with Elliot Taylor.

Stuart Wellington

[34:10] No, I'm...

[34:12] I mean, I guess I'd be...

[34:13] I'm tempted if it isn't the, like, stuff that comes out of a can.

[34:17] Mm-hmm.

[34:18] The, like, log of gel.

Dan McCoy

[34:22] Now, some people that is there prefer, because, of course, it's what they grew up with,

[34:25] and they have a nostalgic attachment.

[34:27] Mm-hmm.

[34:28] I would say that I do not like the canned stuff.

[34:34] Sometimes, I take a little bit of the good stuff to go with the turkey.

[34:40] I understand how it might add a little, like, tartness to cut through the richness of everything else,

[34:45] but I agree, I'm not really a fan.

Stuart Wellington

[34:46] Yeah, I mean, maybe if I had, like, a UTI or something, I might...

[34:50] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[34:50] Then it's very helpful.

[34:51] Then it's...

[34:51] Because cranberries do promote urinary tract health, which...

[34:54] And as someone who has had more than one kidney stone, you know,

[34:57] I should be having more cranberry stuff, possibly.

[34:59] And, like, marshmallows comes out of a bog, comes out of that swampy, marshy ground, so...

[35:03] Do you...

Dan McCoy

[35:03] Here, this is...

[35:04] That's a good question, Allie.

[35:06] Do you drink juice?

[35:07] Do you like any juices?

[35:09] No, I don't.

[35:09] You don't like any juice.

[35:10] No, I don't like it at all.

[35:11] I don't like it at all.

[35:11] I don't like...

[35:11] No, you should drink...

Stuart Wellington

[35:11] I've been really into, like, beet juice lately.

[35:14] I don't...

[35:15] Yeah.

[35:15] It's good for your heart.

[35:16] I mean, I like beets.

[35:17] It is good for heart health.

Elliott Kalan

[35:17] I don't know if I want to drink the juice, though.

[35:19] How does it taste?

[35:19] Oh, I mean, it's usually, like...

Stuart Wellington

[35:27] That sounds good.

[35:28] So, it's got a little zing.

Elliott Kalan

[35:29] Yeah, I like zing.

[35:30] I'll try it.

[35:30] You know, I'll try it.

[35:31] I'll have that instead of cranberry sauce.

[35:32] I'll have beet sauce with ginger on my Thanksgiving meal.

Dan McCoy

[35:36] Well, let's move on to mashed potatoes.

[35:38] Ooh.

[35:39] And the film that represents mashed potatoes...

[35:42] Mashed?

[35:42] ...at this cinematic feast is called...

[35:46] It's also a short.

[35:48] This one's from 2020.

[35:49] It's called Mashed Potato Face.

[35:52] And the summary is,

[35:54] A potato-based killer intrudes upon a family in the middle of dinner.

[36:01] Okay.

[36:02] That sounds terrifying.

[36:04] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[36:05] Potato-based killer.

Elliott Kalan

[36:06] I mean, to take something delicious like a potato

[36:08] and make it a danger.

[36:09] Yeah, sure.

Stuart Wellington

[36:10] Yeah, okay.

[36:11] Let's say I'm intrude.

[36:12] I'll take a scoop of mashed potatoes.

[36:15] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[36:16] I'll try it, too.

[36:17] Yeah, I want to see how this killer is potato-based.

Dan McCoy

[36:22] Yeah, is it like a carbon-based life form

[36:24] and this is a potato-based life form?

[36:26] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[36:26] Does he beat people to death with a Mr. Potato Head

[36:29] or shove potatoes in their mouths until they choke?

[36:31] We're going to find out.

Dan McCoy

[36:31] Well, I've already won you over, clearly,

[36:34] but does it improve or...

[36:37] Deprove?

[36:38] Wait, I don't.

[36:39] Deprove?

[36:39] Yeah, I don't.

[36:41] Saying that wrong.

[36:42] Does it entice you more or less

[36:44] to learn that the tagline for this movie is

[36:46] mashed potatoes?

[36:51] I don't get it.

[36:53] I don't like that.

[36:53] Don't understand.

[36:55] Well, it's just mashed potatoes with extra A's in it.

[36:59] Yeah.

[36:59] What is that supposed to...

[37:00] That makes me less interested.

[37:02] Well, I don't know what that's meant to signify.

[37:04] I guess I'm still going to do it.

[37:05] I'm still watching it, I guess.

[37:06] I mean, it's a short, right?

[37:07] I'm guessing that that's...

[37:09] You know, with...

[37:10] This is just my idea based on nothing.

[37:14] That's probably what the killer says.

[37:16] Walks around going,

[37:17] mashed potatoes.

[37:17] Check the quote section.

[37:19] Let me check the quote section.

Elliott Kalan

[37:20] Oh, no.

[37:20] He says,

[37:20] what's crack-a-lackin'?

[37:21] Apparently, they invented that.

[37:23] Wow.

Dan McCoy

[37:24] I feel like that's...

Stuart Wellington

[37:26] They're stealing that, huh?

Dan McCoy

[37:27] Now, mashed potatoes.

[37:29] This is a classic food.

[37:31] I assume everyone's going to have some mashed potatoes.

[37:33] What do you think?

Stuart Wellington

[37:33] I actually...

[37:34] Honestly, I've been pulling back from mashed potatoes lately because...

[37:38] Especially if it's...

[37:39] No, it's the...

[37:41] Dairy.

[37:41] Especially if I get them from somewhere else, it's too much dairy.

[37:44] It just fucks me up.

Elliott Kalan

[37:45] Oh, I understand that.

[37:45] I love mashed potatoes.

[37:46] I had mashed potatoes with my dinner last night.

[37:48] I don't need to wait for Thanksgiving.

[37:49] I can have them whenever I want.

[37:50] I can do mashed potatoes all by myself, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[37:52] Oh, wow.

[37:53] That's really great.

[37:53] You can do the mashed potato.

[37:54] Can you do the twist, though?

Elliott Kalan

[37:56] I can do the twist.

[37:57] Now tell me, baby.

[37:59] Wait, where'd you go?

[38:00] I was naming all the dances that I do.

[38:02] I was mansplaining to you all the dances that I know how to do now, and you left.

[38:05] Hold on.

Dan McCoy

[38:06] Thousands of them.

[38:07] Well, just 1,000.

[38:09] You know, Stu, I had dinner...

Elliott Kalan

[38:11] Well, he doesn't say he knows the 1,000 dances.

[38:13] Just he's been to the land of 1,000 dances.

[38:16] Yeah.

[38:16] Uh-huh.

Dan McCoy

[38:16] Yeah.

[38:17] We had a friend's pre-Thanksgiving dinner that included our mutual friends, John

[38:22] and Mary.

[38:23] Okay.

[38:23] It wasn't one that I was throwing.

[38:26] I didn't deny you from this dinner.

Stuart Wellington

[38:29] This wasn't a party where everybody talked shit about me the whole time?

[38:33] No, no, no.

Dan McCoy

[38:33] This is people that you're not friends with who invited us all.

Elliott Kalan

[38:39] Is that possible?

[38:40] Stuart is friends to all.

Stuart Wellington

[38:41] He's like Gamera.

[38:42] Yeah.

[38:42] I am a lot like fucking Gamera.

[38:44] I'm a flying turtle, possibly with nuclear powers.

Dan McCoy

[38:48] Possibly.

[38:48] But, you know, John Marrier.

[38:49] Possibly.

[38:49] John Marrier, vegan.

[38:51] We made vegan mashed potatoes.

[38:53] Audrey made them.

[38:54] And very good.

[38:56] Okay.

[38:57] What makes them vegan?

[38:59] It's vegan butter.

[39:00] What?

[39:01] Vegan butter.

[39:02] What's vegan butter?

[39:03] That's from plant milk?

[39:04] Mostly made with nuts.

[39:06] Okay.

[39:07] Like a nut butter?

[39:08] Yeah.

[39:08] But I'm just saying.

[39:09] Like peanut butter?

[39:10] But my nuts evens testicles.

[39:11] Like a nut butter like semen.

[39:12] Yeah.

[39:12] That's what I'm saying.

[39:13] I'm just saying, you know, if dairy's your problem, you learned that vegan mashed potatoes taste just as good.

[39:20] Yeah.

[39:20] Don't blame the potato for it.

[39:21] Okay.

[39:23] All right.

[39:23] Up next.

[39:24] That was a maybe not an important digression, but it happened anyway.

Elliott Kalan

[39:29] But I'm glad we can get back to the very important business of the episode, though.

[39:34] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[39:34] Thank you.

[39:35] Yeah.

[39:36] Key stuff.

[39:37] People are on tenterhooks.

[39:39] The next food is green bean casserole.

[39:44] Now, for the movie that I picked for this, oddly enough, there's not a lot of green bean casserole themed films out there.

[39:53] I believe that.

[39:54] I picked one of the first movies that popped up when I put in green bean casserole, and that is The Life and Times of Hank Greenberg from 1998.

Elliott Kalan

[40:03] So this gets to the interesting – well, tell us about it, Dan, because this gets to the interesting thing I want to say about casseroles in general.

Dan McCoy

[40:09] Yeah.

[40:10] The summary is The Life and Career of Hank Greenberg, the first major Jewish baseball star in the major leagues.

Elliott Kalan

[40:17] So this is what I'm going to say is growing up Jewish and being Jewish, there's not a lot of casserole in my life.

[40:23] Aside from like kugel, there's not really a lot of casserole I feel like in the Jewish American world that I grew up in.

[40:29] So we eat green beans, but they're usually like steamed or something like that, salted maybe a little bit.

[40:35] But they're not baked into a casserole.

[40:37] That being said, I have had green bean casserole that I like, but you're not going to find them in our house.

[40:42] We don't do a lot of casserolling, and I don't think Hank Greenberg did a lot of it either.

[40:45] So come along, Hank.

[40:47] Let's get out of here.

Dan McCoy

[40:48] Well, I'll speak to this issue more once we hit the food section.

[40:51] Oh, but I'll see the movie.

[40:54] So you're going to take some movie.

[40:55] You're going to slap some movie on your plate.

Elliott Kalan

[40:57] I'll take some.

[40:58] I mean, as the father of a…

[41:00] That's the name of this episode, right?

Dan McCoy

[41:01] Slap some movie on your plate?

[41:02] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[41:02] As the father of a baseball-loving Jewish kid, I think I have to watch this movie.

[41:07] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[41:08] Stu, what do you say?

[41:10] I'm going to need more convincing.

[41:12] Okay.

[41:12] Well, does it convince you more to learn that the tagline is, when America needed heroes, a Jewish slugger stepped to the plate?

Stuart Wellington

[41:21] Yes.

[41:22] I'm immediately sold.

[41:24] Because you need a hero.

Elliott Kalan

[41:25] The tagline is…

[41:26] I'd be the hero.

[41:27] The tagline is, so it's baseball?

[41:29] Question mark?

Dan McCoy

[41:33] Baseball you're playing now?

[41:34] Stu's been holding out for a hero.

[41:36] A Jewish slugger has…

[41:38] I think I remember when this movie came out.

Elliott Kalan

[41:40] I remember in the trailer, they talked to Walter Matthau about being a fan of Hank Greenberg.

[41:44] Because it was like…

[41:44] It was the same way that Sandy Koufax was in the 60s.

[41:47] It was like all the Jewish boys were…

[41:49] They finally had a player they could relate to, you know?

Dan McCoy

[41:52] Well, let's get back to the food.

[41:54] You know, as a Midwestern boy, had a lot of green bean casseroles at Thanksgiving.

[41:59] Everything's casserole over there.

[42:00] Yeah, stick it in the casserole.

[42:01] Why not?

[42:03] Yeah, culturally casseroles loomed large.

[42:05] Not so much in my particular household, but if we went to a church potluck or something, lots of casseroles.

Elliott Kalan

[42:11] And your parents were a big fan of the music of Mama Casserole.

Dan McCoy

[42:15] Mama Cass-a-roll.

[42:19] Likewise to you, though, like other cultures.

[42:21] I think that I made some a year or two back.

[42:25] I think that Audrey, as a Filipino, was like, what is this?

[42:31] Yeah, why are you doing this?

[42:32] Why?

[42:34] I'm like, the reason is it's a way to get fried onions.

[42:40] It is a delivery method for fried onions.

Elliott Kalan

[42:42] Fried onions on their own would be sinful.

[42:44] But when you buried them in a casserole, Jesus can't see.

[42:47] The baby Jesus can't notice the fried onions.

Dan McCoy

[42:50] Put some green beans around and slop some cream of mushroom soup in there.

[42:55] It's okay.

Elliott Kalan

[42:57] I mean, the fried onions are the best part, for sure.

[42:59] Yeah.

[43:00] There's a reason you just eat them separately.

[43:01] Do you like this casserole?

Stuart Wellington

[43:02] No, I don't know.

[43:03] There's something about cream of mushroom soup that never really worked for me.

Dan McCoy

[43:09] I don't like it on its own.

[43:11] I like it as the ingredient in the casserole.

[43:12] No, I know.

Stuart Wellington

[43:13] There's something about the combination of something that I can't quite explore.

[43:18] When I have trouble dividing the ingredients in my head, it makes – I don't know.

[43:23] There's something about it.

[43:25] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[43:27] All right.

[43:27] So, split on green bean casserole, but it's time for dessert.

Elliott Kalan

[43:32] I think there's a reason there's not a lot of casserole restaurants.

[43:35] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[43:36] Dessert time.

[43:38] We're going to pull out –

[43:38] There's a space in the market, though, I guess.

[43:41] Yeah.

[43:42] Maybe let's do it.

[43:43] Sharks.

[43:44] Sharks.

[43:45] I would like to pitch my casserole restaurant.

Dan McCoy

[43:49] Stewart, sharks eat fish.

[43:50] Come on.

Stuart Wellington

[43:51] All right.

[43:52] Pumpkin pie.

[43:53] Fish casserole.

[43:55] Pumpkin pie.

Dan McCoy

[43:57] Represented, in this case, by the television movie –

Elliott Kalan

[44:00] This better not be about a movie where someone has sex with a pumpkin pie.

[44:04] We've already talked enough about pie sex.

Dan McCoy

[44:06] The movie is Pumpkin Pie Wars from 2016.

[44:10] It's a TV movie from Stephen R. Monroe, who started as a B-horror director with films like the remake of I Spit on Your Grave.

[44:19] But he seems to have pivoted into these television holiday romances with other titles like A Harvest Wedding, A Bramble House –

[44:28] I'm sorry, A Bramble House Christmas.

[44:30] Oh, because A Bramble House could be a good horror title, too.

[44:32] Yeah.

[44:33] And I like this title, USS Christmas.

Elliott Kalan

[44:38] It's either some kind of Christmas ship or it's a Soviet movie.

[44:42] And the USSR is celebrating Christmas.

Dan McCoy

[44:44] So, I'm going to read the summary of the plot of this.

[44:49] And let me know if this sounds familiar to you but different.

[44:54] Ten years ago, Faye and Lydia each opened their own bakeries in Emeryville, Ohio after a personal and professional fallout during a local pumpkin pie contest.

[45:06] It was Little Italy.

[45:07] It was Little Italy all over again.

[45:08] Yep.

[45:08] That's what I was thinking, too.

[45:09] Now their children and coworkers, Casey and Sam, are set to carry on the rivalry as they go head-to-head in the same contest.

[45:16] There's only one problem.

[45:17] For these two people who are supposed to hate each other, they start to fall in love.

[45:20] That's what always happens.

[45:21] Little Italy, pumpkin pies instead of pizza pies.

[45:26] And I believe that Audrey and I watched this as we are fans of the holiday pap that gets churned out.

[45:34] The holiday work of Joseph Papp, founder of the Public Theater.

[45:37] Yeah.

[45:38] So, what do you think?

[45:39] Are you into pumpkin pie wars?

Elliott Kalan

[45:42] I'm going to say, how dare they steal Little Italy's plot?

[45:45] How dare they, sir?

Stuart Wellington

[45:47] Yeah.

[45:48] Yeah.

[45:48] Little Italy's original, never been seen before.

Dan McCoy

[45:53] Two houses at war.

[45:55] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[45:57] I'm going to say I'm kind of interested.

[45:59] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[46:00] I'm going to say-

[46:01] I like trash.

[46:02] I'm going to say no.

[46:04] But maybe you can tell me something that will pique my interest.

[46:08] Because the thing that Little Italy had, which a movie I did not particularly like, what Little

[46:11] Italy had going for it was at least it was set in the world of New York Italians, which

[46:15] is a world I feel comfortable in and love, as opposed to-

Dan McCoy

[46:18] I thought it was Toronto Italians.

[46:19] Yeah.

[46:19] That was the thing.

[46:20] It was Canada.

Elliott Kalan

[46:21] But they still talked like New York Italians.

[46:23] You're right.

[46:23] It was Toronto Italians.

[46:24] They're big city Italians.

Stuart Wellington

[46:25] And Hayden Christensen, he really brought it, man.

Elliott Kalan

[46:28] Yeah, he really believed his family came over here from Kiberia or something.

[46:33] Yeah, from Naboo.

Stuart Wellington

[46:35] That kid's got the juice, you know?

[46:38] Not a lot of actors got the juice anymore, but he does.

Elliott Kalan

[46:41] You know what I mean?

[46:42] I forgot that movie was set in Toronto.

[46:44] But Toronto is the New York of Canada, so.

[46:47] Okay.

[46:47] Sign off in the comments, people not Toronto.

[46:50] Replaces New York in movies all the time.

[46:52] The idea that anyone in Toronto would be offended to be called the New York of Canada.

[46:56] Bring them to me.

[46:56] I'll tell them why that's a nice thing to learn.

Dan McCoy

[46:59] Well, Elliot, let me try and convince you.

[47:01] This is set in, what, Ohio?

Elliott Kalan

[47:02] Which is kind of a shadowy, strange world that I'm not familiar with.

Dan McCoy

[47:05] Let me see if I can convince you for this movie with the only trivia available.

[47:11] Okay.

[47:13] This was aired.

Elliott Kalan

[47:13] Claims to have coined the phrase, what's crack-a-lackin'?

Dan McCoy

[47:16] The only trivia in its trivia section.

[47:20] Aired as the third of four original films in the Hallmark Channel's 2016 Fall Harvest lineup, which fulfills its obligation of being trivial.

[47:32] Let me see.

[47:34] Truly trivial piece of information.

[47:36] Who's in this movie?

[47:38] You know how these movies go.

[47:40] You know, someone who was a star in some TV show 15 years ago.

[47:46] Oh, yeah.

[47:46] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[47:47] And it says the family patriarch is played by Werner Herzog.

Elliott Kalan

[47:53] We must win this sweet potato competition.

[47:58] Is it sweet potato pumpkin?

[48:00] Oh, they're always the same.

[48:02] Empty.

[48:03] Empty at their heart.

[48:04] Yeah.

[48:05] You're right.

[48:06] It was a pie.

[48:06] He would, actually, he would say, he would say, son, it is time for you to take the reins of the pie shop.

[48:15] Oh, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[48:16] You would be a pie maker.

[48:20] Well, let's pivot to.

Elliott Kalan

[48:21] Truly to make a perfect pie is to spit in the eye of God.

[48:26] To say I, too, can create.

Stuart Wellington

[48:29] Yummy, yummy.

[48:30] There's nothing better than a giant pumpkin pie.

Dan McCoy

[48:35] So let's pivot to the food side of things.

[48:39] You're going to walk away with a slice of pumpkin pie at the end of your Thanksgiving meal?

[48:43] Absolutely.

[48:44] I love that shit.

[48:45] Love it?

[48:45] Absolutely.

[48:46] Love it.

Elliott Kalan

[48:46] None for me, thank you.

[48:47] Not a fan of the taste of pumpkin.

[48:49] And especially in my house, we always make the same kind of chocolate pie.

[48:53] It is delicious.

[48:55] So if I can have some of that, why am I going to eat pumpkin pie?

[48:57] Come on.

[48:57] Chocolate, the best tasting thing that exists.

Dan McCoy

[48:59] Look, I like chocolate.

[49:01] I'm not a fan of chocolate pies.

[49:03] I don't.

[49:04] Would you describe yourself as a chocoholic?

[49:07] I would not.

[49:09] As a recovered chocoholic.

[49:10] I actually rarely have chocolate.

[49:12] I like pumpkin pie.

[49:14] I'll say that I, of the Thanksgiving pies, I prefer a pecan or a pecan pie, depending on where you are.

[49:21] You make the rules.

Elliott Kalan

[49:22] You could have made that the pie that you were doing.

Dan McCoy

[49:24] But it's less traditional.

[49:25] That's true.

[49:26] Going through the most.

[49:27] Yeah.

[49:27] Going through the most.

Dan McCoy

[49:28] But yeah, of course.

[49:29] I'll have some pumpkin pie.

[49:30] Good stuff.

Stuart Wellington

[49:32] Two thumbs up.

Elliott Kalan

[49:33] For me, there's only one holiday pumpkin should be part of.

[49:38] H.

[49:38] Ween.

[49:39] Carve that thing into a spooky face.

[49:41] Make it a skull or something.

[49:43] And then throw it in the trash.

[49:44] Let it rot on the tree.

[49:45] Slowly rot.

[49:46] Let it slowly rot on your doorstep.

[49:48] It makes it even scarier.

[49:50] Then throw it away.

[49:51] And it gets all wet and gross.

[49:52] And it falls apart in your hands while you're trying to carry it to the garbage can.

[49:55] That's what I call a holiday.

Dan McCoy

[49:57] A lesson about mortality.

[49:58] Exactly.

[50:00] Okay.

[50:01] Well, thank you for being with us for this mini.

[50:05] Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate in this country.

[50:09] Thank you for sharing this time with us.

[50:13] If you liked this podcast, go over to MaximumFun.org.

[50:18] Check out the other great podcasts they have there.

[50:21] Some of them are funny.

[50:22] Some of them give information.

[50:23] Some of them do both.

[50:25] This one barely achieved either.

[50:27] This barely was a thing.

[50:29] This was an idea that I had.

[50:32] And was like, sure, that's good enough.

[50:34] Let's do it.

[50:35] Thanksgiving.

[50:35] Good enough.

Elliott Kalan

[50:36] I will say, though, Dan, it gives us a great opportunity to say that we are thankful for our listeners.

[50:41] And I personally am thankful for you two guys.

[50:44] Thanks for being a part of my life and doing this show with me.

[50:46] And thank you listeners for giving us a reason to talk every couple weeks.

[50:51] We talk more than that.

[50:53] But it means we have to talk to each other, which is great.

[50:56] We have a reason always to get together.

Stuart Wellington

[50:58] You know, you guys are two foods I will always put on my plate.

[51:06] Thanks.

Dan McCoy

[51:07] I'll appreciate the spirit behind the sentiment.

[51:09] Yeah.

[51:10] Yeah.

[51:11] So, yeah.

[51:13] If you like podcasts in general, not just this one, maybe go over to MaximumFun.org.

[51:19] Check out the other great podcasts on our network.

[51:21] That's MaxFun.

[51:23] If you want to check us out on social media, maybe go over to Instagram as X continues to devolve into a help hit.

Elliott Kalan

[51:34] And if you want to learn more about X and Sever, join us on December 2nd for Flop TV.

Dan McCoy

[51:40] If you want to help us out beyond being a member of Maximum Fun, why don't you go over to Apple Podcasts, iTunes, leave us a good review.

[51:51] Not a bad one.

[51:52] Why put out negativity in the world?

[51:54] Just focus on a good one.

[51:57] Thank you, Jack.

Elliott Kalan

[51:57] Says the host and creator of a podcast, shitting on movies.

Dan McCoy

[52:01] That's true, except for I think we do it in a nice way.

[52:05] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[52:06] Out of a spirit of hope and love.

[52:08] Yeah.

[52:08] Yeah, our butts are clean when the poop comes out.

Dan McCoy

[52:12] Thank you to Howl Dottie.

Elliott Kalan

[52:14] I think Werner Herzog said that also, right?

[52:17] Thank you to Howl Dottie.

Dan McCoy

[52:19] Actually, Alex Smith, but he goes by the name Howl Dottie on the internet.

[52:23] I'm trying to do the wrap up.

[52:25] I'm getting so distracted.

[52:26] Thank you, Alex, for being our producer.

[52:30] But for the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

[52:32] Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[52:34] And I'm Elliot Kalin saying, what's crack-a-lackin', everyone?

[52:46] Maximum Fun.

Dan McCoy

[52:46] A worker-owned network.

[52:48] Of artist-owned shows.

[52:50] Supported.

[52:51] Directly.

[52:52] By you.

FH Mini 93 - Happy Thanksgiving

Transcript

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