Ep.#413 - Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire

[0:00] Hi floppers, before we start our regular nonsense we wanted to make sure you knew the Flophouse is

[0:04] going on a four-city west coast tour this January. It's the Flophouse Errors Tour,

[0:10] the biggest event in pop culture entertainment this year, probably. You can see us in Vancouver

[0:16] on Wednesday, January 24th at the Rio Theater. In Portland on Thursday, January 25th at the

[0:21] Aladdin Theater. In San Francisco on Friday, January 26th at Cobb's Comedy Club as part of

[0:27] San Francisco Sketch Fest. And in Los Angeles on Sunday, January 28th at the Regent Theater.

[0:32] For tickets, go to flophousepodcast.com slash events. Again, that's flophousepodcast.com

[0:38] slash events. The Flophouse Live, it's like the podcast, but you can smell us.

[0:43] And now, without further ado, our regular nonsense.

[0:46] On this episode, we discuss Rebel Moon, part one, A Child of Fire.

[0:53] More like seven Shamurai, am I right?

[0:57] Like Shamu the killer whale? They're all killer whales?

[1:01] No, you know what I meant. Come on.

[1:04] Shampoo?

[1:06] It was a hot one, guys. It was a hot one, and you chilled it out. Come on.

[1:12] Chilled champagne?

[1:13] No, you know. Come on.

[1:22] Hey, everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[1:44] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:46] I'm Elliot Kalen.

[1:48] The original Child of Fire himself, Elliot Kalen.

[1:51] You know it. You know it.

[1:53] Now, I mean, I don't want to get into things too far ahead.

[1:56] Yes, I was born of flame. I was born in flames, yes, like a phoenix.

[2:00] But The Child of Fire, I guess, is the main lady of how the war did the thing?

[2:10] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie, and then we talk about it.

[2:13] Yeah, so The Child of Fire. I'm not sure if it's Korra,

[2:17] or if it is the princess who has the power to bring dead things back to life.

[2:20] That we see in one flashback.

[2:22] Basically nothing about it at this point.

[2:24] Yeah, we know she's fucking magic, dude.

[2:27] Names of the movie after a character we see in one scene, basically.

[2:30] It is. I mean, that's the Titus Grone, the first volume of Gormenghast,

[2:34] is named after a character who appears as a baby near the end of the movie.

[2:38] Well, Titus Grone did it.

[2:42] If Mervyn Peake could get away with it in his Gormenghast trilogy,

[2:45] then Zack Snyder can do it in the Rebel Moon series.

[2:48] Well, this isn't a Gormenghast trilogy podcast.

[2:51] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie, and then we talk about it.

[2:56] In this case, we returned to one of the Flophouse's hit makers.

[3:03] Wait, there was an S in that sentence.

[3:06] Zack Snyder, who we've talked about.

[3:08] Yeah, that's right.

[3:10] He's done so many of them.

[3:11] Um, and yeah, this is his.

[3:15] So he's been in the DC universe for a long time.

[3:19] When we last saw Zack Snyder, he was treating the Justice League with the same level of

[3:24] somber, serious depression that he would treat, say, a major natural disaster or a genocide.

[3:32] And everyone was excited.

[3:33] They're like, what will Zack Snyder do when he's freed from having to do pre-existing IP?

[3:39] Yeah, he walked into into Star Wars studios and he's like, I want to make Seven Samurai

[3:45] in space.

[3:45] And they're like, uh, no, that is what happened.

[3:48] That is the backstory to this.

[3:51] He wanted to do a Star Wars version of Seven Samurai for a long time.

[3:55] And, uh, they, you know, I don't know how far down that road it went, but it sounds

[4:00] like it went very short down the road.

[4:02] It sounds like it was up.

[4:03] Yeah.

[4:04] And so he's like, fine, I'll just make my own Star War.

[4:07] And he changed very little.

[4:10] Which is how things happen sometimes.

[4:12] Like there's any number of, uh, of comic book series that start out as one thing as a pitch

[4:16] for a pre-existing character and then become their own thing.

[4:20] But they usually do a little bit more of a job.

[4:22] Like beloved television show, Halt and Catch Fire started out as a fucking madman spec

[4:27] script or some shit, right?

[4:28] Yeah, something like that.

[4:29] And beloved wank material, Fifty Shades of Grey started out as Twilight fan fiction.

[4:34] Exactly.

[4:35] But usually they go a little bit farther in, in changing it.

[4:38] Like for instance, Fifty Shades of Grey is, does not have a vampire character in it.

[4:42] And only in that all capitalism is a form of vampirism to a certain extent.

[4:46] But, uh, the, but this one, he really doesn't go very far in, in, in, uh, rubbing the serial

[4:51] numbers off of the parts.

[4:53] And it feels like he's, he's answering a question I think nobody had, which was why

[4:57] doesn't Star Wars have more cursing and attempted sexual assault?

[5:00] Yeah.

[5:01] Why does Star Wars have more of that?

[5:02] So much joy in the Star Wars universe.

[5:04] Can we just strip that out of there?

[5:07] I mean, the Star Wars movies have been doing a pretty good job of, of, yeah.

[5:10] I mean, yeah.

[5:11] But anyway, there's also, he's also like, could we make it a little more beige, a little

[5:17] more brown?

[5:18] His color palette is going to get to the point where it's just going to be a brown screen

[5:22] with, without, and you can barely see shadows going across.

[5:25] I did think this was less, uh, brown than like his DC stuff has been.

[5:30] There's certainly some ambers.

[5:33] But, um, I mean, like every once in a while he would throw up an image that I would like

[5:37] on screen.

[5:37] He was just, he wouldn't vomit it up.

[5:39] It would throw it up.

[5:39] No, no, I agree with you.

[5:40] Throw up an image.

[5:42] Uh, although I did think to myself, I was like, what is it about this?

[5:46] Like, let's be honest.

[5:47] Like if I saw this movie, if Dan, who was 12 years old with the special effects at the

[5:52] time, saw this movie, I was like, I'd be like, this looks gorgeous.

[5:56] You know?

[5:56] But here's the thing.

[5:57] I think that gets at something, which is Dan at 12 years old had not seen a movie like

[6:01] this with these special effects.

[6:03] But at this point you have.

[6:04] Well, there's that.

[6:05] But also I think I was like trying to kind of figure out my problem visually with a lot

[6:11] of it.

[6:11] And I think that modern, uh, blockbuster films, this is not, you know, just Zack Snyder, like

[6:19] throw so much stuff on the screen.

[6:21] They're like, yeah, it'll be better if there's like a bunch of crap up there.

[6:26] Whereas I think like so, so many times, like a simpler visual with one amazing thing on

[6:32] screen, rather than like 12 things you can't really see.

[6:35] Certainly.

[6:37] Again, following the lead of George Lucas, who saw the old Star Wars movies and said,

[6:41] I wish I'd thrown more crap on the screen.

[6:43] Yeah.

[6:43] Not cluttered enough.

[6:44] It needs more robots flying around, just going, whoa, more, more Ron toes.

[6:52] I think you're right, Dan, that we'll get into it.

[6:54] But like, it's a visually muddy and busy movie.

[6:58] And it Zack Snyder is really going all out with the slow motion at times when I'm not

[7:02] sure why he's doing it.

[7:03] There's a scene in a fight scene where a guy is falling on his butt after being knocked

[7:07] over.

[7:07] It felt like it was going on forever.

[7:09] Like I had taken a hit of that drug from dread.

[7:12] Yes.

[7:13] Lomo was experiencing that moment for forever.

[7:15] But, uh, it's a, uh, I think I have a fucking dread kicks.

[7:19] That's a good movie guys.

[7:21] I had, I had a similar thought because, and Stuart, I apologize.

[7:25] We'll let you get into the summary.

[7:26] But while I was watching, I was like, you know what?

[7:28] I'm going to pull a Dan McCoy on this.

[7:30] I'm going to come at this movie, hoping I like it, not prejudging and not being ready

[7:34] to criticize it, but hoping it makes me cry a couple of times so that I'll kind of like

[7:37] it.

[7:38] Yeah.

[7:38] And the first book club and maybe like the first 10, 15 minutes, I was like, you know

[7:42] what?

[7:43] I like space opera junk.

[7:44] I like dumb space colonies or whatever.

[7:47] I like when big empires are fighting rebels or whatever, but as fertility rituals.

[7:53] Yes, exactly.

[7:53] I love fertility rituals.

[7:55] I love, I love sex, positive farming communities on far off rim worlds.

[7:59] And, uh, the, but I was fine.

[8:01] I was finding it's so predictable.

[8:03] It's so incredibly predictable and it didn't get at what I think I like from space opera,

[8:07] which is when things are crazy or surprising at the same time as watching this movie.

[8:11] I was not that simultaneously, but while at the same day as I was watching this, I was

[8:16] reading the book, the wizard of Lynn by A.E.

[8:18] Van Voigt or Van Voigt.

[8:20] I've never known how to pronounce his last name and his books are classic bonkers science

[8:25] fiction pulp in a, in a crazy way.

[8:28] And the whole time I was reading it, I was like, why am I enjoying this book when I'm

[8:31] not enjoying this movie?

[8:32] And I think it's because the book kept surprising me and the movie did not.

[8:35] Stuart, tell us about this movie that did not surprise us.

[8:38] I also real quick, just before we get into this, I do, as I'm handling summary duties,

[8:43] I think it's very important to point out that this is the first in what, two or three

[8:48] movies, at least two, possibly three or more.

[8:50] And it, it feels so much like the first episode of a series, uh, barring that it has no exciting

[9:01] thing that happens right at the end.

[9:03] Um, and it, I've, it certainly, the story suffers from it.

[9:07] And I feel like on some level, it feels harsh to critique it because there's like no story.

[9:14] It's telling a full story.

[9:15] That's true.

[9:16] But at the same time, it is all, oh, sorry, Dan, I'm saving this thing.

[9:18] I'm going to say, no, we can critique it all we want because there's, you know, recently

[9:24] we've seen a lot of this, like in movies where no story can stand alone.

[9:29] And so either you've got stuff like Marvel movies where they're constantly setting up

[9:33] the next thing or, uh, a different flavor of Marvel movie over at Sony.

[9:38] Uh, people were mad at the spot, the new spider verse movie.

[9:43] Like, I mean, people liked it, but they were like, I had no idea.

[9:45] It was good.

[9:46] That's half a movie.

[9:47] And like, I'll tell you that half is amazing.

[9:49] Yeah, half is amazing.

[9:50] You're wrong.

[9:51] But also, uh, first off, like the Marvel movies, yes, they have a lot of like junk that doesn't

[9:57] need to strictly be speaking, be honest.

[10:00] standalone movie because they're setting up all this other stuff you may or may not care about but they do tell like individual stories and

[10:07] The spider-verse movie which I think should have still had the like part one on it

[10:11] So people who weren't paying attention to like all the stuff around it like would know

[10:15] Oh, I'm not gonna get the ending like that has an emotional arc of the character like

[10:20] You know finding all these other spider-men like, you know, like wanting to be accepted like doing his own way

[10:25] Like there's there's a whole at least character story that's being told here

[10:29] This is literally a film that is like we need to assemble a team to do a thing and then the moment that team is

[10:35] Fully assembled. They're like well

[10:37] Credits by

[10:41] The way you've said it Dennis it is super astute that like the look at Dune part one and it's like that is there's

[10:48] No, I looked at it for like three hours. Yeah. Yeah, it's a long movie

[10:50] There's an emotional arc for that character that ends on a high cliffhanger point

[10:54] You're like I can't see what this character is gonna do next with spider-verse

[10:58] I feel like they gain the ability to do that because I mean I was annoyed that the movie ended and I was like

[11:02] Okay, I got to see another one of these but the first movie is a movie

[11:06] But I gotta my son wants to see it really badly that the the sequel

[11:11] I feel like once you've had a full first story

[11:13] The sequel can earns those points to possibly be part of something bigger

[11:18] Yeah, and you look at the old Marvel point to the old mark like the first Iron Man

[11:22] I guess there's that thing is that do they have that teaser about the Avengers initiative at the end?

[11:26] I can't remember. It's in the post-credits scene

[11:30] But technically part of the movie right then

[11:32] I normally would have turned off the movie long before I would have gotten like the first Iron Man movie or the first Thor movie

[11:38] It's like okay. These are whole stories. Yeah exactly like it's but the but this one

[11:43] It really does feel like they're they're really relying on that part one very heavily and yet somehow

[11:48] They spend two hours assembling this team and by the time it was over. I felt like I knew none of these characters

[11:57] These these note cards are as you yeah, I got my little note cards and over here with his no cards. Yeah

[12:04] So that's James Lipton as what the amazing Crescent

[12:08] James Lipton as Carnac the

[12:11] Now I'm thinking of three movies

[12:15] Christopher Walken and they're like, yeah, just for walking walks out. Yeah, so I mean

[12:19] How else would Christopher Walken walk go out then to walk?

[12:21] I mean if Christopher Walken swam out it would name me Christopher swimming, right?

[12:25] Mm-hmm

[12:29] So

[12:31] We of course the movie opens we get an opening monologue. Hell. Yeah, it's a sir

[12:36] Anthony Hopkins dropping that shit playing the role of Jimmy the Robot

[12:46] Far and away the the most lovable character in the whole movie and he disappears after the first half

[12:54] Like 15 minutes of the movie you don't see any more that robot

[12:58] That's true until the very end when you see him wearing his yellow jackets antlers, but we'll get to that anyway

[13:02] Yeah, it's a fertility ritual

[13:05] so the opening monologue talks about mother world an

[13:08] Empire that is expanding and it's super aggressive

[13:12] However, the king and queen were assassinated and now the evil Belisarius has taken over

[13:17] Oh, and he has sent out a fleet to stop all the rebels now. The thing is

[13:22] You don't need to do fucking monologue do this simple shit if you're yeah, I see you Star Wars

[13:27] Yeah, it's like if the movie had started with no monologue. I'd be like, yeah, I got it. I get it of the spaceship

[13:33] We're in space. It's fine

[13:37] Yeah, the guys with it with it with the cut-class British accents and the Nazi outfits are the bad guys like they've been to the

[13:44] Doing bad stuff. Well, yeah, it's not like the farmer

[13:47] The guy who is beating people to death with a cane with an evil-looking cane we could pick up that he's

[13:52] You mean his bone staff?

[13:55] But Stewart, here's the thing. I was wondering while we're watching a Star Wars. I was like, wait a minute

[13:59] It's like a military type thing and they serve a dead king. Is this a warhammer?

[14:06] Shit, I mean the thing is you got to give me a second because my heart is fluttering

[14:11] La it has been paying attention to me when I talk about war

[14:18] Me I see you and I listen to you and I love you

[14:22] I mean, yeah judgments out. I

[14:25] Mean, I think it's interesting. I don't I don't know if the

[14:28] The I'm hoping I'm assuming resounding flop of this movie if it will negatively affect the recently signed

[14:36] Warhammer Amazon deal, but we'll find out now all this monologue is happening

[14:41] Space and a very powerful image where a wormhole opens up in space that looks very

[14:48] Vaginal yes that

[14:51] Cylindrical spaceship comes through maybe this movie will be better than I think it will maybe it'll be more of a David Lean

[14:57] David Lynch Dune where everything is weird and and and or a David Cronenberg world for everything's vaginal or penile

[15:04] But and it won't just be a straightforward

[15:06] Seven Sam Ryan David Lean would also do a pretty good Dune David Lee would have done an amazing

[15:11] It would not have looked like David Lynch's, but it would have

[15:15] He would like who would have played you know, Alec Guinness would have played some character in it he had been amazing, you know

[15:23] Yeah

[15:25] Still gar

[15:28] Yeah, I guess he probably would play still gar, but I'd rather than a great still gar. Yeah, it'd be okay

[15:33] Well, I can I can feel one way in you another so

[15:38] We we are we open in a small rural village on

[15:42] Velt which is kind of like a rim world as Elliot said an agro world out on the far reaches of the galaxy

[15:47] I mean like agricultural not agro like a grass. Yeah. Yeah

[15:51] We meet Cora who was a farmer with a mysterious past played by

[15:59] Sophia Botella she was in the mummy. Uh-huh

[16:03] the mummy

[16:04] Who was not Tom Cruise the other you know, the the lady first money. Yeah. Yeah

[16:09] She was the the the blade lady blade leg having lady from that Kingsman movie. I think she's an atomic blonde

[16:17] They keep putting her in big blockbusters, and I'll be honest. I have never found her

[16:23] Compelling or charismatic except in Dan says she don't have the juice Star Trek from beyond where she plays a blue lady

[16:31] Who has a lot of makeup on suit? It's hard to tell that it's her but she's good in that one

[16:35] Okay, well she has a mysterious past and she's gonna be our main character. So I guess deal with it

[16:40] Um, I do also meet gunner who is kind of an ambitious farmer

[16:45] He's kind of outgrown this simple village and he is he's trying to find ways to make

[16:51] He's he's kind of smarter than his humble roots

[16:54] And then we'll yeah, I think that's the idea

[16:58] I'm gonna talk about him in a moment when something happens. We'll have a bigger discussion about so many of these characters

[17:05] They kind of do what the plot needs them to do at the moment and yeah kind of makes up why they did it

[17:10] So I I could he see they he was at certain points. He was gambit and at certain points. He was Luke Skywalker

[17:16] Yeah, it's kind of hard to tell and he's played by an actor who I know has been in a bunch of stuff

[17:21] But I mainly remember him as being an indie rock star on the TV show, Nashville

[17:27] In general, I think the character Mikhail hoist man. Oh, yep, that's a is a

[17:33] interesting but not really successful attempts to like sort of gender swap the normal

[17:39] blockbuster roles where he's he is the damsel in distress and

[17:43] you know, she is the like

[17:45] Devil may care here not definitely care the tortured hero sort of anyway

[17:49] Who's this who's a superfighter?

[17:51] So the the village a village that seems to be made up entirely of people between the age of 20 and like 45

[17:59] They kill their elderly and they're young. Yes

[18:03] We'll find out in part two, I'm assuming yeah

[18:05] Yeah, they send their young to boarding school and they're elderly to another to do it like an old folks village. Yeah

[18:11] Yeah that all you know, they send them to Providence the capital of the planet or the villages Florida's friendliest hometown Trump country

[18:18] So speaking of villages the village has a harvest festival

[18:23] Has like a harvest feast and the the leader of the village the father of the village

[18:27] Sindri played by Corey Stahl with that's right a pretty cool beard

[18:32] Gives a very horny speech about how the important thing they should be doing is fuck

[18:38] Everybody gets a speech in this movie and this is his

[18:41] Yeah, yeah, he gets a couple he's you know, he's great

[18:45] Do I wish he had a hairpiece like in The Strain, yes, of course, I wish he had a crazy hairpiece

[18:53] I'll shut up. I'll take what I'm I'm given

[18:57] So Cora's adoptive father Hagen or Hagen tries to convince her to settle down

[19:03] That that's the one way that she'll really become part of their community, but she's not so sure she's you know

[19:08] She's got a mysterious past next day an imperial dreadnought arrives into orbit

[19:13] And Cora runs over and sounds a bell and it's like everyone can see it

[19:20] And they

[19:23] It's the same thing that kept

[19:25] Mahershala from seeing that plane crash in the world leave the world behind until he needed to

[19:30] Plot blindness keeps you you almost called it. You almost called it the world is not enough

[19:35] I did

[19:42] That would be great if it had like

[19:44] James Bond style opening credits with like things being projected on Ethan Hawke and Julia Roberts

[19:51] I mean speaking of James Bond openings this movie needed something like why didn't they throw in some kind of kind of action moment?

[19:59] right at the beginning

[20:00] Like, I don't know.

[20:02] I mean, I kind of appreciate that.

[20:04] I don't know.

[20:06] I'm tired of every blockbuster

[20:08] having to start with an action

[20:10] sequence and then like

[20:12] circling back to like

[20:14] you know, like we're starting off

[20:16] low. I don't know.

[20:18] I guess I've just seen too many movies and I'm tired of

[20:20] everything. Everything a movie could do.

[20:22] So when you're tired of tricks,

[20:24] straightforward storytelling can be really good.

[20:26] I wish there was more story because they're telling it

[20:28] fairly straightforwardly.

[20:30] Until the movie becomes a

[20:32] series of action scenes interspersed with

[20:34] flashback monologues, but we'll get to that.

[20:36] So the town gets together

[20:38] and they have a quick chat.

[20:40] They have a quick chat before

[20:42] the bad guys show up

[20:44] because they, uh oh,

[20:46] Gunnar has sold their

[20:48] surplus of

[20:50] grain and whatnot, their harvest

[20:52] surplus to the rebels.

[20:54] And they don't want the Imperials to find out.

[20:56] Bad guys arrive.

[20:58] They are super Nazi looking.

[21:00] Although there are a couple of dudes with

[21:02] wacky headdresses that just kind of hover around

[21:04] the background like those guys.

[21:06] I like that. I was looking up

[21:08] stuff about Rebel Moon and this image

[21:10] kept coming up of this lady with huge horns

[21:12] and I'm like, wish that was in the

[21:14] movie. I guess that's in one of the sequels, but

[21:16] any time a character has a weird headdress or

[21:18] weird mask, I love it. I like that.

[21:20] These guys are

[21:22] so comically bad and I'm not

[21:24] saying that there aren't- comically evil

[21:26] you mean? Comically, yeah, well bad

[21:28] as in like bad people.

[21:30] But you don't mean comically bad

[21:32] like they're like- that's fine.

[21:34] I understand you're clarifying.

[21:36] I think that the rest of my context would be

[21:38] easy for people to understand.

[21:40] Alright, I just don't want people to jump to conclusions

[21:42] too fast. These are comically

[21:44] evil characters and I'm not

[21:46] saying that there aren't comically evil

[21:48] people who exist in life

[21:50] including, say, the

[21:52] Nazis who were the obvious

[21:54] inspiration for these people, but like

[21:56] they're evil even sort of within their

[21:58] own ranks in a

[22:00] way that I'm like- it frustrates

[22:02] me. I'm just like, what is this bullshit?

[22:04] There's that one guy who's like,

[22:06] look at me, I'm gonna start

[22:08] shooting at our own robots.

[22:10] That's pretty crazy.

[22:12] It's a lot of moves, buddy.

[22:14] It's a guy on a military mission, you want this person along?

[22:16] It seems like a problem.

[22:18] He does seem like the kind of guy you would send

[22:20] to a far-off colony world to get him out of there

[22:22] but he's working with a major league

[22:24] bad guy. This is like the right-hand man of

[22:26] General Belisarius, right?

[22:28] Belisarius, yep. This is- okay.

[22:30] So, uh, these

[22:32] soldiers and bad guys are led by

[22:34] Admiral Atticus

[22:36] Noble.

[22:38] Did he-

[22:40] Okay, that's pretty cool. I don't know, it sounds like he's got

[22:42] a pretty nice name. Pretty cool.

[22:44] Uh, maybe a second pass

[22:46] on that one then?

[22:48] And he's played by returning

[22:50] Flophouse actor,

[22:52] and Scrain, who was also in Alita

[22:54] Battle Angel, the movie that first introduced us

[22:56] to Dan's love of backstory.

[22:58] So Dan, I hope you like this movie.

[23:00] Get ready for a shovelful. He's also, I believe

[23:02] he took over the

[23:04] Transporter franchise

[23:06] from Mr. Jason Statham.

[23:08] Okay, so

[23:10] Atticus Noble is

[23:12] hunting rebels, specifically

[23:14] the Devorah

[23:16] and Darian Bloodaxe,

[23:18] which, you say a name like that, I'm like, I gotta meet

[23:20] those fuckers.

[23:22] They are very disappointing when we finally meet them.

[23:24] They don't seem like Bloodaxes.

[23:26] Also, Devorah and Darian?

[23:28] That sounds like someone you're gonna-

[23:30] like, I'm getting a Christmas card

[23:32] from around this time of year.

[23:34] I feel like Devorah Bloodaxe is a fourth or fifth

[23:36] generation Bloodaxe name.

[23:38] First, it's like Skinflay Bloodaxe,

[23:40] and then like, you know, Worscreen Bloodaxe,

[23:42] and then Harry Bloodaxe,

[23:44] and his daughter Devorah Bloodaxe, yeah.

[23:46] It is, just to clarify,

[23:48] yeah, it's Devorah's, in case anyone

[23:50] has any angry letters.

[23:52] It's Devorah, which is a super cool name, yeah.

[23:54] You put a V in a name and it's always cool.

[23:56] So, we have a-

[23:58] We have an attempt at a

[24:00] tense sequence where

[24:02] Sindri is trying to

[24:04] appease

[24:06] the Admiral.

[24:08] I guess I should just call him Noble,

[24:10] because I'm gonna have to say his name a bunch.

[24:12] He tries to appease him, and then

[24:14] Noble just beats Sindri

[24:16] to death with his

[24:18] walking stick that looks like a

[24:20] leg bone, like a femur.

[24:22] So they kill him, and then they say

[24:24] they demand that in ten weeks

[24:26] they're gonna return, and they're going to basically

[24:28] need the village's entire harvest.

[24:30] This is after Gunnar

[24:32] has basically sold out

[24:34] Sindri in a way that he thought was

[24:36] being clever and helping them out, but

[24:38] leads to Sindri being beaten to death.

[24:40] And this is what I wanted to talk to you with,

[24:42] this farmer character,

[24:44] where, to me,

[24:46] I think that this movie makes kind of

[24:48] a mistake

[24:50] here, in terms of

[24:52] building the sympathies for these characters,

[24:54] because

[24:58] in real life, this is a mistake

[25:00] that I could see being made.

[25:02] You think you're gonna get away with something, you think it's gonna be okay.

[25:06] It all goes horribly wrong,

[25:08] and

[25:10] in life,

[25:12] this is the sort of thing where

[25:14] you're like, okay, I see that you didn't

[25:16] mean that. I'm not

[25:18] gonna hold this person's

[25:20] death against you, maybe.

[25:22] But in fiction, I'm like,

[25:24] what, is this guy a fucking idiot?

[25:26] He's been told to do it

[25:28] a certain way. Clearly,

[25:30] these people are

[25:32] not to be trifled

[25:34] with. He's been told by multiple

[25:36] people that he's like,

[25:38] and we're still supposed to kind of be like,

[25:40] and this is our second

[25:42] hero that we

[25:44] immediately are like.

[25:46] I feel like this

[25:48] is something that could, if handled

[25:50] properly, could be cool.

[25:52] Like the idea of a guy who thinks he's

[25:54] smarter than the situation, he doesn't

[25:56] really understand the stakes that he's in,

[25:58] and then he

[26:00] learns from it. But we don't

[26:02] really, don't worry, we're not gonna get any kind of arc

[26:04] or learn from it. No, I agree, but

[26:06] it could work, but the movie

[26:08] doesn't do the legwork. Hey, you know where it worked?

[26:10] You know where something like that kind of works? Where?

[26:12] It's a movie called Star Wars,

[26:14] where Luke Skywalker,

[26:16] in it, by buying the

[26:18] wrong droid, inadvertently

[26:20] leads to the death of his aunt and uncle,

[26:22] and it takes him on a path

[26:24] of justice. That was an accident, Elliot.

[26:26] He didn't intentionally do that.

[26:28] He wanted to get out of there. You're saying it was

[26:30] all part of a plan to get it?

[26:32] The Stormtroopers are probably looking for this droid.

[26:34] We've got to get him out of the house.

[26:38] Even the fact that you're starting this movie on

[26:40] a far-off agricultural

[26:42] planet that's isolated

[26:44] from this empire,

[26:46] if I was doing my Star Wars rip-off,

[26:48] I would do the opposite,

[26:50] at least on the surface of what Star Wars did.

[26:52] So it would seem a little less obvious

[26:54] that I'm trying to do almost the exact same thing.

[26:56] But it feels like

[26:58] they're trying to get off those fumes

[27:00] as much as possible.

[27:02] So the Dreadnought

[27:04] leaves, but they leave a unit of

[27:06] soldiers behind, and as Dan mentioned,

[27:08] they are comically evil. They are shooting

[27:10] each other and beating each other up.

[27:12] There's one good guy.

[27:14] Eris is the one good one.

[27:16] He's a little sympathetic. And of course,

[27:18] Jimmy the Robot, who

[27:20] we find out will not fight ever since

[27:22] the king was killed.

[27:24] And this is the first time

[27:26] that the king and the

[27:28] princess are referred to as

[27:30] these noble people

[27:32] who, like,

[27:34] honor died with them.

[27:36] The Robot

[27:38] talks of him in these glowing

[27:40] terms, and I think that

[27:42] we as the audience are supposed to

[27:44] believe, at least to some

[27:46] degree, that there's this fallen past.

[27:48] But then later on, we see the backstory

[27:50] for our main character. I won't get into it

[27:52] yet, but we see that when

[27:54] the king was around, there were

[27:56] violent expansionists.

[27:58] And I'm like,

[28:00] so wait, are we supposed to feel bad

[28:02] that these king got killed?

[28:04] Like, how is the world worse

[28:06] now than what we saw before?

[28:08] I could see it, if they were doing

[28:10] something a little more nuanced, that the Robot has been programmed

[28:12] to see the royal family as noble.

[28:14] But you're right, that

[28:16] the movie seems to be implying that

[28:18] it's kind of hard. The movie's

[28:20] so mushy that it's kind of hard to know

[28:22] what...

[28:24] Because it's so clear that

[28:26] the Empire has always been bad, or whatever it's called.

[28:28] I don't remember what it's called. Motherworld?

[28:30] Has always been bad.

[28:32] But

[28:34] it's hard to know what...

[28:36] Even, like, again,

[28:38] in the Star Wars movies, they're hearkening back to the days of the

[28:40] Republic. That was before the Empire.

[28:42] But in this, there's no thing like that

[28:44] necessarily. And so it is hard to know

[28:46] what were we supposed

[28:48] to think is good or not good? Because the king does

[28:50] seem terrible. Maybe Velisarius is just worse?

[28:52] Except he's played by Cary Elwes.

[28:54] I mean, he's played by Cary Elwes,

[28:56] who Flophouse listeners will again remember as

[28:58] Bobby Wobbly from the Yugi Hoshino movie.

[29:00] His most iconic role.

[29:02] He does have a pretty cool

[29:04] fake beard at one point. That's true.

[29:06] It was so funny the whole time, I'm like,

[29:08] is that Cary Elwes under that beard?

[29:10] I do like his late career turn

[29:12] into, like, sort of, like, venal

[29:14] villains.

[29:16] But I think it's...

[29:18] All of this stuff is not just off the fumes

[29:20] of Star Wars, but off the fumes of Ancient Rome.

[29:22] I feel like Cary Elwes and Hugh Grant

[29:24] should have a movie where they're, like, dueling

[29:26] venal villains. I would love that. That'd be

[29:28] amazing.

[29:30] Ancient Rome,

[29:32] the Republic fell, there was a First Emperor...

[29:34] He's always talking about Ancient Rome.

[29:36] Hey guys, how often do I think about Ancient Rome?

[29:38] I thought I derailed him.

[29:40] The First Emperor

[29:42] brought some kind of stability,

[29:44] but still was not a good guy. And then when he fell,

[29:46] it was just a series of, kind of,

[29:48] crappy, monstrous people for a while.

[29:50] And I would think that's the same kind of

[29:52] historical trope they're going after,

[29:54] but it's not clear. They're not doing it well.

[29:56] Considering how much time is spent

[29:58] explaining things to us, by the end of the movie...

[30:00] I was like, I don't really understand this world

[30:02] or the people in it, you know?

[30:03] Yeah, so we get a little bit of this backstory

[30:04] from Jimmy the Robot because he befriends a Sam

[30:08] who is a local girl who mainly fetches water.

[30:11] Every time you say it, it's like, Jimmy the Robot?

[30:13] You gotta, you want some information?

[30:15] You gotta go see Jimmy the Robot.

[30:16] Jimmy the Robot, beep boop.

[30:18] You want pie calculated?

[30:20] My memory banks are a little foggy.

[30:23] Perhaps a few microchips would clear them up.

[30:26] All right, Jimmy, fine, here you go.

[30:28] Yeah, yeah, beep boop.

[30:29] I seem to remember he was driving a black Lincoln Town car.

[30:32] Through space?

[30:34] Okay.

[30:37] But this scene between Jimmy the Robot and Sam

[30:40] I think is the best scene in the movie by far.

[30:43] Yeah, probably.

[30:44] What do you guys think?

[30:44] It's the only scene that felt like

[30:45] a real emotional connection to me.

[30:47] It does look like someone put in AI art prompts

[30:50] of robot with girl in idyllic setting

[30:53] and it comes out like that.

[30:54] But like, it helps that you have

[30:56] Anthony Hopkins delivering it.

[30:57] Yes, very much so.

[30:58] I see what you're saying, but even at the time

[31:00] I was like, what am I to make of this monarchist robot?

[31:04] Like, was he programmed like this?

[31:06] I was like, also, like droids in Star Wars

[31:09] he seems to have, like, sentience.

[31:12] Yes.

[31:12] But he's also like, I don't know,

[31:14] he's collaborating with this evil government.

[31:15] He's also programmed.

[31:16] I mean, he's, all droids are slaves, essentially.

[31:19] Yeah.

[31:19] Yeah, it's just what a robot means.

[31:20] Except for IG-88, who's just a slave to his need to kill.

[31:23] And be dope.

[31:26] And be cool.

[31:27] But I think you're right.

[31:28] I had this, but also when I was watching the movie

[31:29] this was still during my,

[31:30] I'm gonna give this a fair shot phase.

[31:32] Yeah, sure, sure.

[31:33] So we also learned that Princess Issa is magic, okay?

[31:39] That's important.

[31:40] It's gonna matter.

[31:41] Okay, so the villagers get together.

[31:43] They decide if they work hard enough

[31:44] maybe the troops will let them keep some of their harvest.

[31:47] And I'm like, that's not gonna work.

[31:48] You fool.

[31:49] Did you see that guy beat the other guy to death

[31:50] when the bone came?

[31:52] And in fact, it doesn't seem to work

[31:54] because Korra tries to run off

[31:56] and instead she is waylaid

[31:58] because she has to rescue Sam, the water-bearing villager

[32:02] from being assaulted by these soldiers who are horrible.

[32:06] And this scene sucks.

[32:07] Yeah, but also, yeah, I mean,

[32:09] it sucks in the sense that like, you know,

[32:11] sexual violence in a blockbuster,

[32:13] like we don't need that necessarily.

[32:15] It's a different vibe than what I was expecting.

[32:17] Yes, but also it sucks in the Zack Snyder way

[32:21] because of course, like there's a moment

[32:22] where like Korra get Korra's old, you know,

[32:25] warrior instincts get activated

[32:27] and everything goes into slow motion

[32:29] and she kills everybody.

[32:30] And I am so fucking sick of this in movies.

[32:34] Like I want some sense-

[32:35] I hate to break it to you, Dan,

[32:36] you're gonna have to get a lot more of it from this movie.

[32:38] I know.

[32:39] But yeah.

[32:39] But I want like some sense of actual danger.

[32:43] I don't want heroes that are like essentially superheroes

[32:47] in everything but name who can do all this awesome shit.

[32:51] Like I want this, I want the idea,

[32:53] like maybe someone might get hurt at some point

[32:56] and I now have some rooting interest

[32:58] in what's happening rather than just like-

[33:00] So you're not gonna like the scenes later

[33:01] when Korra is literally wading through fields of laser fire

[33:04] where none of the laser bolts hit her

[33:05] because of plot mechanics.

[33:07] Yeah, yeah, she has plowers that kids say, right?

[33:11] That's a flash.

[33:11] But even here in this fight,

[33:13] she's surrounded by guys with guns.

[33:15] They almost never try to shoot her.

[33:17] Instead, they keep rushing at her.

[33:18] And it's like, this is like ninja fighting

[33:20] in an 80s movie where if you're up against one ninja,

[33:23] it is a brutal fight.

[33:24] But if you are up against 10 ninjas,

[33:26] they each take their turn,

[33:27] they wait until it's time for them to rush at you

[33:29] and they become less and less powerful.

[33:31] I agree, this fight is-

[33:33] And if it was in the 80s,

[33:34] that one ninja would be like Bolo Young or something

[33:37] and you're like, that dude is so jacked.

[33:38] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[33:39] There's no way he can have stealth.

[33:41] Like this is crazy.

[33:42] He's not gonna be able to sneak through lasers.

[33:43] If he's stealthy and that jacked, he's dangerous.

[33:46] Unstoppable.

[33:48] But I agree with you, Dan,

[33:49] that there's a lack of stakes

[33:51] and a lack of weight and everything

[33:53] to these action scenes.

[33:55] This action, specifically this,

[33:56] I think this might be the worst one.

[33:58] I don't know, the bar one's pretty bad too.

[34:00] They're both, they're bad.

[34:02] And especially if you're trying to introduce

[34:04] Korra as your hero who's also a badass,

[34:07] this does not bode well for the rest of the movie.

[34:10] I would rather see a hero who's like thinking things through

[34:12] and is like, where can I find my advantages?

[34:15] You know, like what can I do that would plausibly

[34:18] make me able to take on a room full of people

[34:20] rather than just like, hey,

[34:22] now I can go into slow motion.

[34:24] Well, not too long ago, my older son and I,

[34:26] we started watching Raiders of Lost Ark,

[34:27] which he had never seen,

[34:28] which he's kind of lost interest in, which is too bad.

[34:30] I'd like to finish the movie, but he's-

[34:32] At least get him to the final scene

[34:34] where all the faces melt off.

[34:35] That's what he's afraid of.

[34:36] He doesn't want to see that part.

[34:37] Tell Sammy for me that he is wrong

[34:38] and he's hurt my feelings.

[34:40] It's just that he doesn't want to see their faces melt.

[34:41] But the, because-

[34:42] Well, he's wrong about that too.

[34:44] It hurts my feelings.

[34:45] But the thing that's so amazing about that movie partly

[34:48] is that Indiana Jones is constantly on the verge of failing

[34:50] and sometimes does fail.

[34:52] When he succeeds at anything,

[34:54] I think people remember the part

[34:55] where he shoots the swordsman

[34:57] and they forget every other moment

[34:58] where he is always behind the eight ball.

[35:00] He's always a step back from everybody.

[35:02] He's never a step ahead.

[35:03] And he's constantly,

[35:06] he's just good enough to get himself in over his head

[35:08] and have to figure out how to get out of it.

[35:10] And I'd love to see more of that type of hero.

[35:12] As fortunately, the only types of heroes we have now, Dan,

[35:14] are Korra or Star-Lord.

[35:16] They are either a total badass who's unstoppable

[35:19] or a doof idiot who just kind of stumbles his way through crap.

[35:22] You know?

[35:23] That's where you and I differ.

[35:24] Like, I like, I think Star-Lord is closer in spirit

[35:27] to Indiana Jones.

[35:29] It's just like-

[35:29] True.

[35:30] I think that's true.

[35:31] But I think he's a guy who should not be succeeding.

[35:36] Whereas Indiana Jones is like,

[35:37] oh, I just barely succeeded.

[35:38] Star-Lord is so bad at this.

[35:39] I think you're imprinting how unlikable

[35:41] he can be sometimes.

[35:42] Maybe that's it.

[35:43] Maybe that's what it is, yeah.

[35:44] Okay, guys.

[35:45] So, this squad of soldiers is butchered by Korra,

[35:50] the defecting soldier Aeris,

[35:51] and Jimmy the Robot shows up in a clinch

[35:55] to shoot the last guy in the head.

[35:57] No, no, he doesn't shoot the last guy.

[35:58] I thought he did.

[35:59] I thought the gun went off.

[36:00] Doesn't the other,

[36:02] I thought the other guy,

[36:03] like, it looked like he has a gun, he's looking at it.

[36:07] Like, should I shoot?

[36:08] I thought the, like, the nice, quote-unquote,

[36:11] like, bad guy was the one who shot.

[36:13] I don't remember.

[36:15] I read it as Jimmy the Robot was holding the gun

[36:18] nonchalantly, and it went off and perfectly killed the guy.

[36:21] Doesn't matter.

[36:22] We'll never know,

[36:23] because I'll never watch this movie ever again.

[36:24] It doesn't matter.

[36:24] It is really not worth our final thought.

[36:26] Tweet at Dan and ask him,

[36:27] tell him exactly how you read the scene.

[36:29] This could be Dan's ding-dong gate.

[36:32] Hagen shows up and gives Korra back her guardian gun.

[36:35] What about Daz?

[36:36] Does Daz show up or just Hagen?

[36:37] Mm-hmm.

[36:38] Well, we'll get to Daz later.

[36:41] So, he gives Korra back her guardian gun,

[36:43] which looks like a normal gun,

[36:44] just a little bit fancier.

[36:45] It's like what you would get if you, you know,

[36:48] you bought the DLC before buying the game.

[36:51] It's like a pre-order bonus.

[36:53] Okay.

[36:54] Thanks for putting it into terms I understand.

[36:55] Yep, mm-hmm.

[36:56] Korra and Gunner decide to head off and find the rebels.

[37:01] First stop, that's right, it's Providence.

[37:04] I guess the capital of the planet of-

[37:06] Rhode Island.

[37:07] Yep, it's Rhode Island.

[37:09] Look out for Cthulhu's.

[37:10] Uh-oh, everyone's got the Innsmouth look.

[37:14] Now, on that trip, Korra gives us a big backstory dump.

[37:18] And to summarize, her planet was destroyed.

[37:21] She was adopted by Belisarius when she attempted to kill him

[37:25] because he was just wandering the burning city

[37:26] by himself, murdering people.

[37:27] So now they're also ripping off from Gamora and Thanos.

[37:30] Yep.

[37:31] They've got some new stuff they're ripping off.

[37:34] She was forced to become a soldier

[37:37] in a like a brutal military society.

[37:41] There's a scene of her hoisting the standard

[37:43] of Mother World above a battlefield.

[37:46] And then later on, we find out that she was assigned

[37:49] to protect, be like the bodyguard for Princess Issa.

[37:51] And again, she is magic.

[37:53] Princess Issa is magic.

[37:53] By the way, Issa can bring birds back to life.

[37:56] Every time Belisarius is mentioned,

[37:58] I think of Donald B. Belisario,

[38:01] the creator of Blossom Leap.

[38:03] Oh, that's cool.

[38:04] All right, yeah.

[38:05] I think of Belisarius' call,

[38:07] the Arch-Majos of the Adeptus Mechanicum,

[38:10] but that's okay.

[38:11] That's just you.

[38:12] I have no preconceived associations with Belisarius.

[38:15] Belisarius calls the guy who practically invented

[38:18] the process of turning space Marines

[38:20] into Primaris space Marines, guys.

[38:23] Where would the Imperial Crusades

[38:25] be without Primaris space Marines?

[38:28] Also, Games Workshop wouldn't have any models to sell.

[38:30] Elliot cares more about a Brontosaurus.

[38:32] I do, I mean, that's true.

[38:35] I do care more about a Brontosaurus.

[38:37] We're slapping his, licking his lips.

[38:39] Okay.

[38:40] You just want to eat that Brontosaurus so bad.

[38:42] So they get to Providence,

[38:44] and if you are wondering,

[38:45] is this, is Providence a hive of scum and villainy?

[38:49] You'd be right.

[38:50] It totally is.

[38:51] You better believe it,

[38:51] but this is different than Star Wars'

[38:53] hive of scum and villainy,

[38:54] because again, the scum is rapier than in Star Wars.

[38:57] Mm, yep, rapier and fewer aliens.

[39:01] So as soon as they get to the cantina,

[39:02] they're trying to meet with the guy that,

[39:04] Gunner, was like the information broker

[39:07] that Gunner used to get in touch with the Blood Axes.

[39:10] It's so funny, they're like,

[39:11] we better lay low,

[39:12] Mother World could find out about us.

[39:13] Hey, anybody here know who gets in touch

[39:15] with the Blood Axes?

[39:17] Their way of asking for information

[39:19] is just to literally ask people,

[39:21] just to go and ask them.

[39:22] There's no centrifuge or anything.

[39:23] There's one alien in this bar that I like,

[39:25] which I will say.

[39:26] We'll get to that.

[39:27] Okay.

[39:28] So as they arrive to the bar,

[39:30] their contact is being taken away by Hawkshaws,

[39:34] which is the term for bounty hunters in this galaxy.

[39:37] And the bounty hunters use a special device,

[39:40] which is like a walking robot thing

[39:43] that also constricts you.

[39:45] It's like a walking set of manacles, basically.

[39:47] That was pretty cool.

[39:48] Yeah, that's okay.

[39:50] They go inside.

[39:50] The bartender is, I think, a robot or an alien

[39:53] with these giant shoulder pads covered in candles.

[39:55] That is dope.

[39:56] I'm a big fan.

[39:57] Yeah, more of that, yes.

[39:58] More of that, please.

[40:00] Uh, they learn, an alien puppeteer informs them that through his humanoid puppet.

[40:07] Now, I love the way that you're describing that.

[40:10] Yep, he gives them a lead on...

[40:12] Now, we should make sure, not a puppeteer from Larry Niven's known space novels, like Ringworld.

[40:17] That's a different type of puppeteer, that species.

[40:19] Also, not like a muppeteer, like Jim Henson.

[40:23] No, not at all.

[40:24] This alien is not inserting a hand anywhere.

[40:26] No, it's not like...

[40:27] He wrapped its tentacles around the neck of a... I thought it was a dead body, but I guess it's just a man in a trance of some kind.

[40:33] Yeah, I feel like there might be some sort of benefit this man is getting from it, too.

[40:37] Like, it might be like a two-way relationship.

[40:39] It's possible. I mean, Belisarius is basically having sex with a tentacle alien later in the movie.

[40:44] You're actually talking about Admiral Atticus Noble.

[40:48] Oh, that's right, Atticus Noble.

[40:49] Belisarius does not fucking squint.

[40:50] That's right, Belisarius doesn't show up until the very end when he is, uh...

[40:53] Also has a cool fake beard.

[40:55] So the alien puppeteer gives them a lead on...

[40:57] The beard really throws me off when I first saw him, but we'll get to that, yeah.

[41:01] The alien puppeteer gives them a lead on General Titus, now disgraced and gladiating on Pollux.

[41:09] And they're like, we gotta find this guy, he sounds awesome.

[41:11] They get in a bar fight with this horned-up alien asshole.

[41:15] They kill a bunch of bad guys.

[41:17] Basically, Zack Snyder saw Star Wars and he saw Dr. Evazan bothering Luke Skywalker and was like,

[41:22] Dr. Evazan is hitting on Luke Skywalker, right?

[41:25] Like, he wants to have sex with him?

[41:27] Because that's what happens here is the guy with a misshapen alien face very aggressively hits...

[41:34] Let's say Weinstein-esque fellow.

[41:36] Yeah, yeah, that's how he treats the farmer.

[41:39] And he assumes that Korra is this farmer's pimp, I guess.

[41:42] That leads to a big bar brawl.

[41:46] Leads to a big bar brawl and they come out of it with another member of their team.

[41:50] They team up with this scoundrel named Kai, played by, of course, that's right, Undeclared's Charlie Hunnam.

[41:57] Charlie Hunnam.

[41:59] An actor... I hear Lost City of Z is very good, I haven't seen it.

[42:02] Lost City of Z is very good and he's very good in it.

[42:04] He's really good.

[42:06] In general, having not seen that, he's an actor that I'm like, oh, he's good, but I have no particular feelings about him.

[42:13] But the amount of excitement I had that anyone with a spark of anything showed up, I'm like, oh, finally.

[42:20] I've been stuck in with these two Dollsville people.

[42:23] At least you're doing something.

[42:25] And on some level, he seems excited to be doing something other than the thankless, boring hero role.

[42:31] Because I think he's got a little bit of charm.

[42:33] And he often doesn't get to do that.

[42:35] Yes, I agree. I wish they gave him a more charming character to play, like this character.

[42:39] Nobody's given him much to do.

[42:42] So he's a little bit of a swindler, scoundrel type.

[42:48] And he is like, hey, you guys are looking for fighters.

[42:51] I think I know some guys.

[42:53] I got a ship, let's go.

[42:55] So they get on a ship and fly away.

[42:57] They head to... oh, yeah.

[42:59] At this point, we cut back to the Admiral fucking a squid.

[43:03] It's pretty cool. Admiral Atticus Noble fucks a squid.

[43:06] That was, again, one of the few moments...

[43:08] That's graffiti in the bathroom.

[43:10] It's one of the few moments where I was like, okay, movie.

[43:12] This I'd like to see more of.

[43:14] This is not something I would see in Star Wars, but in a kind of cool way.

[43:18] That this guy's in a relationship with an alien.

[43:20] Yeah, I would like to see another level to this character.

[43:23] Where he's maybe in a loving, understanding relationship with this alien.

[43:28] Yes. As opposed to here, where it seems like it's the classic coding of...

[43:33] Evil Nazi is also a sexual deviant of some kind.

[43:37] In that way, it applies non-traditional sexual roles to evil.

[43:45] I'm going to kind of go a little bit quickly.

[43:47] Because what we're doing is we're assembling a team.

[43:49] We're assembling a team.

[43:51] We start in New Wodey.

[43:53] And we meet Terok the Slave.

[43:55] Who is very muscly.

[43:57] This guy is fucking cut up.

[43:59] And he has to ride a griffin in order to get his freedom.

[44:02] And he's coded like this is supposed to be the Native American style character.

[44:06] Yes. He can talk to animals.

[44:08] He's all about the peace of nature.

[44:10] He calms a griffin.

[44:12] We got no time for that though.

[44:14] Because next is we're at Dagus.

[44:16] And we meet Nemesis the Swordswoman.

[44:18] And she fights a drider.

[44:20] She fights a spider lady.

[44:22] Which I kind of like.

[44:24] I'm like, well this is a nice little break in the movie.

[44:26] Where I don't have to care about the larger plot.

[44:28] I can just see a lady using swords on a spider.

[44:31] I have three issues with this.

[44:33] One, these are two great actresses.

[44:35] Who are both being not fully used.

[44:37] This is Doona Bae from The Host.

[44:39] And Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance.

[44:41] And she's fighting Jenna Malone.

[44:43] Who plays the spider lady.

[44:45] I've always been a huge fan of Jenna Malone.

[44:47] I think she's amazing.

[44:49] I saw her in a production of Morning Becomes Electra.

[44:51] Once.

[44:53] She was fantastic in.

[44:55] But then there's a...

[44:57] That's my main issue.

[44:59] The fight sequence is kind of boring.

[45:01] The set up.

[45:03] Arguably more interesting than anything else going on.

[45:05] I agree.

[45:07] Jenna Malone is a spider woman named Harmada.

[45:09] She lives in a mining colony.

[45:11] And she's stealing human children.

[45:13] Because her own children have been killed.

[45:15] By the pollution caused by the mining community.

[45:17] That should be the plot of your movie.

[45:19] But instead.

[45:21] It becomes.

[45:23] These people are talking to Nemesis the Swordswoman.

[45:25] She fights this monster.

[45:28] They don't even try to help her fight the monster.

[45:30] It's pretty funny.

[45:32] This is her show off scene.

[45:34] They just stand there while she almost gets killed.

[45:36] And then they cut to her on the spaceship.

[45:38] So we never even find out why she decided to join them.

[45:40] But three.

[45:42] She is the Asian actress.

[45:44] Asian character.

[45:46] So of course her thing is all about.

[45:48] There was no honor in this kill.

[45:50] And the music is very stereotypical.

[45:52] Asian sounding.

[45:54] If we're in outer space.

[45:56] It's very coded like specific human ethnicities.

[45:58] It feels very limiting.

[46:00] It feels very stereotypical limiting.

[46:02] Okay.

[46:04] So let's keep moving.

[46:06] Because now we're on Pollux.

[46:08] And we find Titus the General.

[46:10] Who is now sleeping off a drunk.

[46:12] In the sewer.

[46:14] And they clean him up.

[46:16] And this is of course Chaman Hansu.

[46:18] Always great.

[46:20] This guy has been in so many science fiction movies.

[46:22] They're simply a good cast.

[46:25] They don't know anything about any of them.

[46:27] Or care about them.

[46:29] They quickly convince him to team up.

[46:31] He's like I can't be a General anymore.

[46:33] They're like yes you can.

[46:35] He's like okay.

[46:37] This part was bonkers.

[46:39] He spent years angry at himself for having his men die.

[46:41] He's been a gladiator.

[46:43] They give him a bath.

[46:45] And she says what about revenge.

[46:47] And he looks at her and he joins.

[46:49] Has he never thought of the idea of revenge.

[46:51] In the decades I guess.

[46:53] Now that we're almost done.

[46:55] Assembling the team.

[46:57] I'm sorry for taking a moment.

[46:59] But I want to talk a little bit.

[47:01] About my biggest.

[47:03] Narrative problems with this thing.

[47:05] Because this movie.

[47:07] It's no secret.

[47:09] This movie is the seven samurai.

[47:11] In space.

[47:13] Or pick your poison.

[47:15] Magnificent seven in space.

[47:17] Seven samurai in the west.

[47:19] But as I was texting Elliot.

[47:22] That makes perfect sense.

[47:24] Because Star Wars itself.

[47:26] Very influenced by Akira Kurosawa.

[47:28] Very influenced by westerns.

[47:30] So all of this stuff in the mix.

[47:32] Makes sense.

[47:34] The main problem with it is.

[47:36] You're taking a bunch of influences.

[47:38] That were digested into a third thing.

[47:40] And you're throwing them back on the digested thing.

[47:42] So it feels very derivative by this point.

[47:44] It feels like instead of.

[47:46] You go to an old house.

[47:48] That has had the original moldings and things.

[47:50] And it's covered by new features.

[47:52] And you're like I don't like these new features.

[47:54] I want to go back to the original.

[47:56] Let me put copies of the originals.

[47:58] On top of the new stuff.

[48:00] That's on top of the old stuff.

[48:02] One problem I have with this though.

[48:04] Which is on a plot level is.

[48:06] The thing about either seven samurai.

[48:08] Magnificent seven.

[48:10] Or seven with David Fincher movie.

[48:12] Which is not the same way.

[48:14] Seven means something different there.

[48:16] The villain is.

[48:19] A local warlord.

[48:21] By assembling a team to fight them off.

[48:23] The villagers plausibly.

[48:25] Can.

[48:27] Overcome their problem.

[48:29] And everything is fine thereafter.

[48:31] Whereas in this case.

[48:33] Their problem is.

[48:35] One ship from a giant galactic evil empire.

[48:37] Is threatening them.

[48:39] Even if they fight this ship off.

[48:41] They have marked themselves for death.

[48:43] That's problem number one that I have.

[48:45] And number two that I have.

[48:47] People are running after chasing.

[48:49] The bad guys are chasing the good guys.

[48:51] Throughout this.

[48:53] Because they want the blood.

[48:55] Whoever's or whatever.

[48:57] I'm just like.

[48:59] Go back to the god damn moon.

[49:01] Wait for them to all come up.

[49:03] Have an overwhelming force.

[49:05] And take them there.

[49:07] You know where they live.

[49:09] Why is this all happening this way?

[49:11] Both of those things cause a problem for me.

[49:13] I think the plotting is.

[49:16] Slipshod and messy and doesn't make sense.

[49:18] I think there's two explanations I'll give to that.

[49:20] Just to give the movie the benefit of the doubt.

[49:22] One.

[49:24] They don't really care about that village.

[49:26] That village is not that important.

[49:28] Use it as bait I'm saying.

[49:30] But they don't know the blood axes are going to be convinced to go to the village.

[49:32] Because if you were the head of a rebellion.

[49:34] That was fighting a giant intergalactic empire.

[49:36] And somebody came to you and said.

[49:38] Hey would you just defend my little village.

[49:40] Then you would say I'm busy.

[49:42] I've got other stuff to do.

[49:44] They think Cora.

[49:46] Might be.

[49:48] What was her other name?

[49:50] I don't remember.

[49:52] Also known as the scar giver.

[49:54] She is as the adopted daughter of Belisarius.

[49:56] She is very valuable.

[49:58] As.

[50:00] Sure, but again, they can just wait for her to come back to the place.

[50:06] I don't know.

[50:07] It seems like a waste of resources.

[50:08] Look, did Luke ever go back to Tatooine?

[50:10] Not for a long time.

[50:11] And they've seen Star Wars, so they're like, we've got to chase them for a while.

[50:13] It seems like Star Wars does nothing but go back to Tatooine.

[50:15] Well, yeah.

[50:16] Okay, now that they have most of their team, they show up on Sharnan, I think, or Shannan.

[50:22] Shannan, yeah.

[50:23] Is this where King Levitica, the squid man, is?

[50:26] They meet with King Levitica, the squid man, and he has been kind of protecting the Blood

[50:33] Axes.

[50:34] And the Blood Axes show up, and they have a little conversation.

[50:38] We meet Darian and Devorah Bloodaxe, and Darian, after hearing their plea, realizes that they

[50:44] are at some level at fault for the problems of this village.

[50:48] So he is going to join them, and he convinces some of his followers to join as well.

[50:55] And this was kind of a funny moment when he starts to give a speech to his troops, and

[50:59] it cuts to the assembled heroes, and they look like, oh, check this out.

[51:03] Oh, wow, he's good at this.

[51:05] He's giving a speech.

[51:08] Kai, at this point, also agrees.

[51:11] He's been shuttling them around, but he's like, you know what, I'm going to fight too.

[51:14] And I was like, he didn't already agree to fight.

[51:17] But he says he's going to fight, but he has to do one last job first.

[51:20] He has to go drop off some stuff.

[51:22] And they're like, okay, that's fine.

[51:24] You're driving us, so that's only fair.

[51:27] And it is very funny to see the heroes helping him unload the cargo from his room.

[51:31] It's like, oh, I guess you just didn't want to pay a TaskRabbit to do this.

[51:36] It's like, you have us doing it.

[51:37] Do we get space pizza afterwards?

[51:39] Help you move these boxes?

[51:41] But before he can finish that job, Admiral Atticus Noble and his dreadnought show up

[51:46] at Shan'an, and they blow up the whole planet, which, yeah, they do that.

[51:52] I mean, it's a lot of collateral damage for this.

[51:56] Yeah, there's just something about the decision to wipe out a planet being that simple, being

[52:01] really kind of like it becomes too much and it makes it less impactful.

[52:06] Yeah, I hate to keep going back to the Star Wars as well.

[52:08] It's a difference between Alderaan being destroyed in the first Star Wars and whatever the head

[52:13] of the lead planet is in Force Awakens that gets blown up.

[52:17] We're in the first Star Wars, like even though you're only seeing Princess Leia's reaction

[52:20] to it, it's treated as a big thing.

[52:22] Like this is a big, big thing that they've just done, and it's heartbreaking.

[52:26] And then in Force Awakens, they're like, oof, I guess we blew up a planet.

[52:31] It was the planet with the government on it.

[52:33] Oof, what did I do last night?

[52:35] Was I blowing up planets last night?

[52:39] So after our heroes, they're all on this like space station, like a giant floating space

[52:45] dock, and they're unloading boxes.

[52:47] And of course, Kai pulls a fucking...

[52:49] Of course, they're like, do you have the right permits to unload these boxes?

[52:53] And then they go down to the...

[52:54] I would find that way more interesting.

[52:56] Nobody said zone 12.

[52:58] You're parked in zone 10.

[52:59] Go to zone 12.

[53:00] So Kai betrays them.

[53:02] The boxes they're carrying burst open, and then they turn into those robot manacle things.

[53:07] He is one of those bounty hunters.

[53:09] He's a Hawkshaw.

[53:10] He's awesome.

[53:10] And this is supposed to feel like a big betrayal.

[53:13] But again, we barely know these characters.

[53:14] We don't care that much about them.

[53:17] Who cares?

[53:19] Atticus Noble shows up with a little space shuttle, and he starts walking around explaining

[53:26] all the heroes' cool qualities, which I'm like, that sounds great.

[53:31] I haven't seen him do shit.

[53:32] I don't give a fuck about these people.

[53:34] And the thing is, I've mentioned on a recent podcast how much I love fiction where they

[53:40] hint at how awesome or tough somebody is for a while, and you learn through their reaction

[53:46] how cool or scary a bad guy or hero is.

[53:49] But I feel like this movie spends so much time just telling you about people, and then

[53:54] when you get to them, you're like, I don't care.

[53:57] They're not doing anything.

[53:58] Recently, how much I love assembling a team.

[54:00] And this movie is nothing but that.

[54:01] And it biffs it.

[54:02] Yeah.

[54:04] But I'll give them this.

[54:05] I really appreciate it.

[54:05] Feels like they adapted a six-issue old Marvel Comics storyline and didn't take any of the

[54:11] exposition out.

[54:12] That was a huge issue in case that was the first issue that you read.

[54:15] So it's like if halfway through a Daredevil movie, someone just went, ah, Daredevil.

[54:20] Whose heightened senses allow him to see things with his radar sense?

[54:25] Like, yeah, that was established.

[54:26] But then in case someone just walked into the movie now.

[54:30] This moment was very helpful to me in clarifying who these characters were supposed to be.

[54:33] Not in an interesting way, but, you know.

[54:35] And now, Akai, at this point, we have learned that when you are manacled into one of these

[54:40] things that you can take, like, basically, what, like a pneumatic pistol type thing?

[54:45] It's like a blast in the back of the head.

[54:47] It's like a reverse.

[54:49] What's his name?

[54:50] Tarker from No Country for Old Men.

[54:52] Anton Chigurh.

[54:53] Yeah.

[54:54] Thank you.

[54:54] It's like a reverse one of those because instead of hitting you in the forehead, it's

[54:57] hitting you in the back of the head.

[54:58] And for some reason, it fits perfectly into these manacles in a funny way.

[55:04] For some reason.

[55:05] It's a very inefficient way to do this.

[55:06] It also unlocks all of these manacles.

[55:09] So giving the thing was maybe not the best idea.

[55:12] Yeah, we don't know that part yet.

[55:14] It's a combination, key and extermination device.

[55:18] Yeah.

[55:18] So Kai makes a big show of making sure that Gunner, who is the only one of our heroes who

[55:23] isn't in manacles because he's too much of a wimp and not a threat.

[55:27] He's just a farmer.

[55:28] They give him the bolt pistol and they're like, you are going to have to, you're going

[55:31] to have to paralyze your friends and I will step away.

[55:35] Everybody else don't look.

[55:37] And he, of course, pulls a fast.

[55:39] We'll give you as much time as you need to make this decision.

[55:41] He releases his friends and he kills Kai very quickly.

[55:44] And I'm like, oh, Charlie Hunnam's gone.

[55:46] We have a battle.

[55:47] The battle is, let's say, not particularly interesting, but in the middle of it, I have

[55:52] to say I checked out hard during this battle.

[55:55] I could not.

[55:56] I didn't keep track of who was doing what.

[55:57] I didn't care.

[55:58] I did.

[55:58] It was so boring and so, so dark and hard to see.

[56:02] Yeah, for me, it was the biggest snooze.

[56:05] So the older I get, the less I'm interested in big gunfight laser battle scenes.

[56:10] And this was like the apex of that, of me just being like, well, let me just get to

[56:14] the point where the bad guys are falling on the ground and the good guys are standing

[56:17] up still.

[56:18] Well, the bad guys have like a little space shuttle that features a single pilot who

[56:23] seems to be piloting, also manning the guns.

[56:25] And it's an exposed canopy, which is perfect.

[56:29] That is something I noticed that I was like, this is a bad design for this major military

[56:33] weapon.

[56:34] So this, and he's like blasting the crap out of the like little fighter ships that

[56:38] Darian Bloodaxe brought along.

[56:40] And then Darian Bloodaxe, he sacrificed himself to save his troops and everybody else by like

[56:45] jumping on with a giant spear and like killing the pilot.

[56:50] But he himself dies.

[56:52] The shuttle crashes onto the dock, which separates a section, leaving Cora and Noble to fight

[56:58] on this tiny little platform.

[56:59] She has no weapon.

[57:00] He has that cool metal bone staff that he's been beating people up with, but it's not

[57:05] enough.

[57:06] She beats the shit out of him super fast and stabs him with his own staff and kicks

[57:10] his ass off the platform like, oh, he's dead.

[57:12] Too bad.

[57:12] I liked him.

[57:13] They return.

[57:14] I hope that squid's going to be okay.

[57:16] They return.

[57:17] The next scene should have been the squid crying over his body.

[57:20] Yeah, man.

[57:21] Like it's like the fucking Rancor Keeper bit.

[57:25] What a moment.

[57:26] What a great movie.

[57:27] Yeah.

[57:27] And then it's got his flaws, that one.

[57:29] But yeah, yeah.

[57:30] What are you talking about?

[57:32] So they return.

[57:33] Our heroes return to the village on Velt.

[57:34] They have this moment where they're like, oh, that place looks like a nice place to

[57:38] die.

[57:38] And I'm like, yeah, it would have been, dude.

[57:40] I wish the fight had been here instead on this shitty, boring, dark dock.

[57:43] It will be in part two or three.

[57:46] And speaking of part two or part three, we see Noble is picked up by his buddies.

[57:52] They retrieve his body.

[57:53] They force him into this like futuristic Skype call with his boss who threatens him.

[57:57] And then they revive him.

[57:58] And that's the end of the movie.

[58:00] Yeah, we did it.

[58:01] Child of fire.

[58:03] Where's one of the fighters that goes to the village at the very end?

[58:06] Was it that one member of Bloodaxe's rebellion who has a couple lines who it's implied?

[58:11] OK, so there's this when Bloodaxe is like giving his speech is like, are we going to

[58:14] help these people?

[58:16] And one person goes, I'll go with you if only to keep you from dying.

[58:19] And then later when he sacrifices to himself, she's like, no, and goes into berserker anger

[58:24] shooting.

[58:24] And I don't know the character's name.

[58:26] I don't know who they are.

[58:28] I think it was like Milius.

[58:29] Maybe, yes, obviously a reference to John Milius, the director who also likes shooting

[58:34] things while screaming.

[58:35] Yeah, but it was just one of these things where it was like, you can't you can't just

[58:39] throw in this character with this amount of shorthand and then have me treat them as a

[58:43] as a major, you know, remember that you don't think he can, because I think Zack Snyder

[58:46] thinks he can.

[58:47] I think he just did.

[58:49] What a.

[58:51] So we did it guys.

[58:51] We made it through the movie.

[58:53] I want to commend you, Stuart.

[58:55] Thanks.

[58:56] So and a half hour film ably synopsized without too much of the crap left in.

[59:03] And you and you came to the lore master himself over here.

[59:06] Yeah.

[59:08] Arc Majos, Stuart.

[59:10] Speaking of lore, what's great about Rebel Moon is it's not just a movie.

[59:14] It's not just a series of movies.

[59:15] They've already announced the experience.

[59:18] It is.

[59:18] They've already announced the huge multimedia world.

[59:21] There's going to be a role playing game.

[59:22] There's going to be a graphic novel.

[59:24] There's going to be they're already talking about TV series, prequels that go with it.

[59:29] They're talking about other movies that are prequels.

[59:31] And it's like that.

[59:32] Oh, and you're talking about the Zack Snyder's company.

[59:36] But it feels like such a this is one of those times where they're really putting the cart

[59:40] before the horse.

[59:41] I feel like.

[59:42] Yeah, this is this is this year's Dark Universe.

[59:45] Rolling down the letterboxd reviews like even like, you know, you get the the outliers like

[59:51] the real true Snyder hardcore people.

[59:54] But like, I feel like even the people who are inclined to maybe not hate everything.

[1:00:00] Snyder are giving this bad reviews. We're just bored by it, etc. So I don't know. I don't know

[1:00:06] about these the future for the part two is definitely coming out because the universe

[1:00:10] they already released the teaser which looks like more of the same like there's nothing there's it

[1:00:15] it's not oh the uh that's in part two the scar giver right the scar giver yeah uh great we can

[1:00:22] find yeah there's a comic book series that's going to depict the backstory for the bloodaxe

[1:00:26] siblings uh they've already talked about uh an atticus noble prequel just let a thing be one

[1:00:32] thing and then maybe if it's successful it can be a few other things it's a balance there is tv

[1:00:37] series that's what it is yeah well that's when star wars came out it's not like people were like

[1:00:42] okay finally we can make a hundred thousand things off of this like see if it works once

[1:00:46] and if it works once then then build on it you know um well speaking of whether it works we

[1:00:52] on the other hand zack snyder is much more successful than us final it's true maybe that's

[1:00:56] the one marker of anything yeah uh final judge worthington's law yeah is it a good bad movie

[1:01:04] a bad bad movie a movie you kind of liked i want to say something here as elliot guys can i say

[1:01:11] something can i get real i want to fuck this movie dan's turning his chair around just straddling the

[1:01:16] chair um as elliot referenced normally i'm the soft touch on the flop house podcast look back

[1:01:24] at the last episode uh about a full movie i was the one who kind of liked it god help me i kind

[1:01:31] of enjoyed watching the snyder cut of justice league at least in so much that i thought it was

[1:01:36] more interesting than the other cut and there's certain bits in it that i thought was like okay

[1:01:42] sure why not uh yeah this speed force this fucking movie like it's not the most boring

[1:01:51] thing we've seen it's certainly not the most incompetent thing we've seen but the more we do

[1:01:57] this podcast the movies that i the only movies i outright hate are the ones that feel like

[1:02:02] utterly bereft of any kind of original imaginative spark and just feel like a thing that was made

[1:02:11] because there was money over here and because this is the kind of thing they think people might

[1:02:17] want to see yeah yeah and i like this movie is garbage well i would say i mean it is a movie

[1:02:25] that has no reason for existing this nothing about it is interesting or exciting it's not

[1:02:30] making point and zach snyder say what you will about him he's a director who for the most part

[1:02:34] makes movies where i feel like he really wants to make that movie and he cares about what the

[1:02:38] movie is doing and saying like i don't love his movies but he he was supposed to be a nice enough

[1:02:42] man from what i understand when he has a you can see in his movie is a passion for what he's doing

[1:02:47] and for the storytelling going all the way back to like 300 and watchmen and was it dawn of the

[1:02:52] dead he did right like probably his strongest probably because he's got a good kind of script

[1:02:57] guys it's got a cgi zombie baby yeah and i would take or you look at a previous flop house zach

[1:03:02] snyder movie sucker punch a movie i do not like but the entire time it feels like it is the

[1:03:08] vision of a specific artist it was working in a palette i don't like the composition i don't like

[1:03:14] the end product i don't like the style and the tone i don't like but it feels unique in its own

[1:03:19] way whereas this feels like it wouldn't surprise me if somebody else made this and then zach snyder

[1:03:24] like put his name on it afterward like it feels like someone who is trying their hardest to make

[1:03:28] a zach snyder ish thing but without any of that passion or that inspiration you're right dan it's

[1:03:32] like when i was like i was saying at the beginning watching this movie i was like why don't i like

[1:03:36] this it's so completely lifeless and predictable whereas i like cheesy science fiction stuff and i

[1:03:43] like it when it's cheesy partly because it feels like it's full of energy and this is so it's just

[1:03:48] dead it lies there dead you know and it's there's nothing going on so stewart 12 stars what do you

[1:03:53] yeah here's the thing so if you want if you want to know if you want star wars but funny

[1:03:58] you got space balls you want star you want star wars that's like a little bit racy there's like

[1:04:03] a million star wars porn parodies if you want star wars but it's like i don't know more of a

[1:04:08] western there's fucking firefly and shit if you want heavy metal go watch the fifth element if

[1:04:12] you want and if you want heavy metal if you want a star wars that's specific like a science fiction

[1:04:18] movie or a story that's about assembling a team watch a fucking playthrough of mass effect 2 that

[1:04:23] shit's awesome uh i mean you could just do that just google it just do it just do it uh

[1:04:31] is that copyrighted can we use that you can we just do it i think it's in the public domain now

[1:04:36] i think just do it is also yeah everything is now um so yeah it's i think this is a bad bad and the

[1:04:41] biggest thing is that it is just like it is just warmed over warmed over warmed over stuff and

[1:04:46] you're not going to see anything that even remotely feels new except for maybe the candles

[1:04:52] on the shoulders bartender or maybe like this maybe when he even you know i was going to say

[1:04:57] even when nemesis is fighting the spider woman but the spider woman is even just warmed over

[1:05:01] angelica houston from moonwalk from uh from captain eo so like the there's there's stuff

[1:05:06] in here there's there's so many but anytime you see like a bartender who's a robot god with candles

[1:05:11] on his shoulders who's an alien you're like oh somebody somebody in this was like was trying

[1:05:16] was doing something original and i wish there was more of that yeah more of it

[1:05:24] hello everyone out there thank you for coming to our service yes we are ready to heal you

[1:05:33] we are ross and carrie we are faith healers yes yes sir you have a spirit of not listening to

[1:05:41] podcasts we have the solution for that we can cure you you should listen to oh no ross and

[1:05:47] carrie hallelujah it's on maximum fun i couldn't have said it better myself yes ma'am yes you there

[1:05:53] gladys a spirit of boredom oh my goodness we have the solution for you it is to listen to the podcast

[1:06:11] the human mind can be tricky your mental health can be complex your emotional life can be

[1:06:16] complicated so it helps to talk about it i'm john moe join me each week on my show depression mode

[1:06:22] with john moe it's in-depth conversations about mental health with writers musicians comedians

[1:06:28] doctors and experts folks like noah khan sashir zameda and surgeon general vivek murthy we talk

[1:06:34] about depression anxiety trauma imposter syndrome and perfectionism we have the kind of conversations

[1:06:40] that a lot of folks are hesitant to have themselves listen and you won't feel as alone

[1:06:45] and you'll have some laughs too depression mode for maximum fun

[1:06:49] at maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts

[1:06:55] the flop house is sponsored in part by rocket money bored by all those rockets and rebel moon

[1:07:04] rocket money instead you know it's you know there's less space opera but it'll help you

[1:07:09] more with your personal finances uh here's a question if i ask you how many subscriptions

[1:07:15] you have would you be able to list all of them and how much you're paying exactly what are you a cop

[1:07:21] the amount you're spending may surprise you right and you have to tell him if he asks you

[1:07:27] that's a canard rocket money can help find that's a joke isn't it you can use subscriptions

[1:07:35] rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions

[1:07:40] monitors your spending and helps lower your bills they'll even try and get you a refund

[1:07:45] for the last couple of months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you

[1:07:49] by up to 20 this sounds good to me all you have to do is take a picture of your bill

[1:07:55] and rocket money takes care of the rest rocket money has over 5 million users and has helped

[1:08:01] save its members an average of 720 a year with over 500 million in cancelled subscriptions

[1:08:10] hey you know it's a new year why not clean out the cupboard of those unused unwanted subscriptions

[1:08:16] you can cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com

[1:08:20] slash flop that's rocket money.com slash flop rocket money.com slash flop hey guys you're

[1:08:30] probably listening to this podcast on the internet and you know what's on the internet

[1:08:34] websites you know how you get your own website the best way to do that shit is with squarespace

[1:08:40] squarespace is the all-in-one platform that gives you the tools you need to make a really cool

[1:08:44] website because you know what you need that's right a website so some of the things squarespace

[1:08:50] offers they give you information on how many people and who is visiting your website and

[1:08:56] what they're doing with that information they have all the stuff you need to set up a web store

[1:09:01] so you can take money and you can build your business and with their next generation website

[1:09:07] design system you can take your own creativity and you can add a little bit of juice thanks to what

[1:09:14] squarespace is providing so you need to head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial and

[1:09:22] when you're ready to launch which you should be soon use offer code flop to save 10 off your first

[1:09:29] purchase of a website or domain very exciting and there's also some very exciting flop house

[1:09:35] promotional news as you may have heard at the very top of this episode if you didn't skip through it

[1:09:40] the flop house is going on tour at the end of january that's right it's a four city west coast

[1:09:45] tour all the cities of the west coast that matter just kidding seattle we still like you but we're

[1:09:49] not going to this time we're going to four cities on january 24th we'll be in vancouver canada to

[1:09:55] talk about the movie cobra on january 25th we'll be in portland oregon to talk about the movie

[1:10:00] On January 26th, we'll be in San Francisco as part of the San Francisco Sketch Fest at Cobb's Comedy Club talking about Gigli.

[1:10:07] And on January 28th, we'll be in Los Angeles at the Regent Theatre talking about Spawn.

[1:10:12] That's right. It is in all 90s except for the 80s and also early 2000s movie.

[1:10:19] That's the theme. Thank you.

[1:10:22] That's the theme. We can't wait to be in front of you, entertaining you, meeting fans.

[1:10:27] We love these live shows. We're so excited to do them again.

[1:10:30] We want you to come out and talk to us.

[1:10:32] We're going to be doing presentations. We're going to talk about the movies.

[1:10:35] And I'm sure we'll be shaking hands afterwards, maybe kissing babies.

[1:10:38] We'll see. Bring a baby. We'll find out.

[1:10:40] And the tickets, they're all in one place kind of.

[1:10:43] If you go to flophousepodcast.com slash events, it will lead you to all the information about those shows and also where to buy tickets.

[1:10:51] Some tickets are still available. They are going at a pretty good clip.

[1:10:54] So we hope that you have a chance to buy them before they go bye-bye themselves.

[1:10:59] Bye before bye-bye. Thank you.

[1:11:02] We also want to remind you – thank you, Stewart, for applauding for me.

[1:11:05] We also want to remind you that Flop TV may be over in terms of new episodes.

[1:11:10] But those videos are going to be up online through the end of January.

[1:11:14] So you can still buy a season's pass if you go to theflophouse.simpletix.com.

[1:11:20] You can buy a season pass and watch all six of those recordings of season one of Flop TV, season two TBD.

[1:11:29] And you can binge them all and watch us get older each episode for one month each episode.

[1:11:36] Each time.

[1:11:38] I did look at a photo recently that was like at most two years older.

[1:11:44] And I'm like why have I aged so much? What happened?

[1:11:48] Like things have been going on in the world, Dan, that might age you.

[1:11:51] I think so. Very much so.

[1:11:53] But if you're interested, we're nearing the end of the Flop TV window.

[1:11:57] Just check it out before the end of January.

[1:12:01] Buy it before it goes bye-bye.

[1:12:03] Buy before bye-bye. That's my new slogan.

[1:12:06] But if you want to see us in person, it's still happening.

[1:12:09] If you're in Vancouver, Portland, San Francisco, or Los Angeles at the end of January, flophousepodcast.com.

[1:12:16] Watch those videos before they're gone.

[1:12:18] Theflophouse.simpletext.com.

[1:12:20] Did you buy all your outfits for those live shows yet?

[1:12:22] Oh, shit.

[1:12:24] Dan told me he was going to buy an outfit themed to each city.

[1:12:28] Let's not set expectations that we can't deliver on.

[1:12:33] And we have a Jumbotron.

[1:12:35] And here it is. It goes like this.

[1:12:38] Hey, Peaches lovers.

[1:12:40] I know a lot of you love comics.

[1:12:42] And I hope you will love my upcoming book, How Comics Were Made.

[1:12:47] A visual history from the drawing board to the printed page.

[1:12:50] The book looks at 130 years of newspaper comics.

[1:12:54] How artists drew their work for reproduction.

[1:12:56] And the bizarre and complicated processes that transformed them for print.

[1:13:01] The book heads to crowdfunding in February 2024.

[1:13:05] See a preview at howcomicsweremade.ink.

[1:13:09] In this case, that's I-N-K.

[1:13:11] Like the things that people draw with.

[1:13:13] The things. The stuff.

[1:13:15] And sign up for an announcement or free newsletter.

[1:13:18] Once again, that call to action is why don't you visit howcomicsweremade.ink

[1:13:25] to find out more and sign up for a free newsletter and book announcement.

[1:13:30] That sounds like a book I might be interested in.

[1:13:33] Uh, hey. Well, look at this.

[1:13:36] Hey.

[1:13:37] Hey.

[1:13:38] Hey.

[1:13:39] Look at this.

[1:13:40] Get off of my cloud.

[1:13:41] This first letter, you know, pertains to what we were just talking about.

[1:13:45] These live shows.

[1:13:46] Uh, this is from Jime.

[1:13:49] Last name withheld.

[1:13:50] Who writes, see you at your live show at the Aladdin on January 25th.

[1:13:55] My son won't let me come home from the show without a signed dedication

[1:13:59] and his copy of Sharko and Hippo.

[1:14:01] So don't let me down.

[1:14:02] I love my family and would miss them terribly.

[1:14:05] Don't know if you guys have excellent advanced PR work

[1:14:08] or just a fan of the best historic community-owned theater in the world,

[1:14:11] but I just nabbed tickets to the Hollywood Theater's January 20th showing

[1:14:15] of Cool as Ice.

[1:14:17] I was wondering how I'd be able to sit down and enjoy the movie

[1:14:20] as opposed to just slogging through it alone on my sofa before your show.

[1:14:24] And this is it.

[1:14:25] That is a blast to watch with a crowd.

[1:14:28] It is.

[1:14:29] Stuart and I, did we introduce it?

[1:14:31] Yeah, we did the introduction at the Nighthawk.

[1:14:34] Oh, boy, was that fun.

[1:14:37] So this enterprising listener who may or may not have some attachment

[1:14:43] to this theater, who knows, but it's good to get it out there.

[1:14:46] I don't even know why you would plant that suspicion in the minds of the listeners.

[1:14:49] I mean, either way.

[1:14:51] The fix is in.

[1:14:52] I mean, I don't care because, you know,

[1:14:54] if you want to see this movie before the show,

[1:14:56] the best way to do it is probably with a big audience.

[1:14:59] Yeah.

[1:15:00] And it's a lot of fun.

[1:15:02] It's a bad movie.

[1:15:03] So this person says if you've got a chance between now and the 20th,

[1:15:07] let the world know they can join fellow flop fans of the Hollywood

[1:15:10] five days before your show.

[1:15:12] And they also say if you have any free time in Portland,

[1:15:14] drop by Movie Madness, the video store owned by the Hollywood Theater,

[1:15:19] and see their memorabilia along with a stunning collection of rentable movies.

[1:15:25] So that's a tip right there in the world.

[1:15:28] Wait, you can rent a movie?

[1:15:31] Okay.

[1:15:32] In this economy?

[1:15:34] I mean, in this economy, like renting them piecemeal would probably be better.

[1:15:39] Is piecemeal you mean like a scene at a time, like on the installment plan?

[1:15:42] That's right.

[1:15:44] A penny a minute.

[1:15:49] That's a pretty good deal for a regular length movie.

[1:15:52] Yeah.

[1:15:53] Yeah.

[1:15:54] Well, let's start it.

[1:15:55] Okay.

[1:15:57] Pivot into penny a minute movie rentals.

[1:16:01] First we have to buy a catalog.

[1:16:05] Yeah.

[1:16:06] Penny worth movies.

[1:16:07] Yeah.

[1:16:08] And when your time's up, like a little screen lowers down over your screen.

[1:16:12] So you can't see it anymore.

[1:16:13] Yeah.

[1:16:14] And you could talk to the movie on a little handset phone.

[1:16:16] Oh, yeah.

[1:16:18] Elliot knows.

[1:16:19] Elliot's been there.

[1:16:20] No, I haven't been.

[1:16:22] Elliot knows what I'm talking about.

[1:16:23] He's a nasty boy.

[1:16:24] I'm not.

[1:16:26] Yeah.

[1:16:27] It's the nicest boy.

[1:16:28] Well, is it?

[1:16:29] I'm not that nice.

[1:16:30] I'm middle.

[1:16:31] I'm in the middle.

[1:16:32] This next later.

[1:16:33] This is the next later.

[1:16:34] This next ladle.

[1:16:35] This next ladle.

[1:16:36] It has holes in it, so it doesn't hold the soup that well.

[1:16:39] But you could like, you could get a potato out of a stew with it.

[1:16:42] Right for your needs.

[1:16:43] I guess during our recording break, Dan did a bunch of whippets.

[1:16:46] This next ladder.

[1:16:52] This next letter goes like this.

[1:16:55] Why do birds suddenly appear every time you talk about movies?

[1:17:01] Scott, last name withheld, but it's me, Weinberg, the overhated guy from the

[1:17:04] Artemis final episode.

[1:17:06] Makes a good point.

[1:17:07] Why are all these birds in here?

[1:17:10] You don't want to leave your windows open when you record.

[1:17:12] Oh, that's true.

[1:17:13] That's a lovely, a lovely poem by Scott Weinberg.

[1:17:18] I just found out that Dan's wife doesn't like poetry.

[1:17:23] And I'm like, any kind?

[1:17:25] Not even like, not even like commercial jingles?

[1:17:28] Not even the Cars for Kids song?

[1:17:33] Yeah.

[1:17:34] No, I, I get it.

[1:17:37] I mean, there's some poetry I like, but it's of, of the written arts.

[1:17:44] I'm just like, why don't you just give this to me in some prose?

[1:17:48] Prose works pretty well for most applications.

[1:17:52] No, no, thank you.

[1:17:56] Plot only, please.

[1:17:58] Isn't that beautiful?

[1:17:59] Robert Frost, just tell me that I should take some chances sometimes.

[1:18:05] Hey, Keats, calm down.

[1:18:07] I get it, Edgar Allan Poe.

[1:18:09] You're sad your wife died.

[1:18:10] There's a bird in the room.

[1:18:11] I left your, you left your windows open, too.

[1:18:13] I get it.

[1:18:14] Maybe it's controversial.

[1:18:15] I'm just not going to sit down and read a lot of poetry.

[1:18:17] That's, I, I'm not trying to say that no one should feel that way.

[1:18:21] Or everyone should feel that way.

[1:18:24] Like people should enjoy poetry.

[1:18:25] I mean, I feel like the New York Times agrees with you, didn't they?

[1:18:27] Just in their poetry column?

[1:18:28] Not that into it.

[1:18:30] I think they did.

[1:18:31] Dan, I'm imagining you sitting next to the ancient mariner going, speed it up, will you?

[1:18:38] He does take a long time to tell a pretty simple story.

[1:18:42] And you need to get to a wedding.

[1:18:43] Yeah, that's true.

[1:18:44] Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:18:46] Okay, you killed a bird, and then things went south for you.

[1:18:49] I get it, man.

[1:18:51] I mean, guys, if a dude just walked up to you on the street and started telling you this story, right, you'd be like, get out of here.

[1:18:57] Get out of here, man.

[1:18:58] I mean, an old man just, and I have to be somewhere.

[1:19:00] Again, they're on their way to a wedding, and he's like, yeah, yeah, but let me tell you more.

[1:19:03] Is that a bird around your neck?

[1:19:06] He's like, well, it's a long story.

[1:19:08] He's like, no, I'm not interested.

[1:19:09] No, no, let me tell you.

[1:19:11] So not to nitpick, he doesn't have the bird anymore.

[1:19:15] It fell off of his neck when he realized that all God's creatures should be loved.

[1:19:18] So you're saying that maybe he just got used to it, and now he has a different bird around his neck?

[1:19:21] Yeah.

[1:19:22] Well, it's a style thing.

[1:19:23] He's used to that fucking bling.

[1:19:27] He's like, now I've got a peacock around my neck.

[1:19:29] Pretty sharp, right?

[1:19:30] I mean, damn, that's a cool bird.

[1:19:33] I wonder what its brains would taste like.

[1:19:36] Got to make a souffle out of them.

[1:19:38] Let's move into—

[1:19:40] A casserole.

[1:19:41] What did the Sun King eat?

[1:19:42] He had, like, casseroles with peacock brains or some crap?

[1:19:44] Something like that.

[1:19:45] Let's move into—

[1:19:46] That was the letters bag.

[1:19:48] That was the letters segment.

[1:19:51] We sewed it up tight.

[1:19:52] No letters can't get out anymore.

[1:19:54] Keep your eyes on that bag.

[1:19:56] The letters are trying to escape, and if they do, all hell will break loose.

[1:20:00] We gotta keep them in there.

[1:20:02] Luckily, we hired a new security guard.

[1:20:05] Ben Stiller, oh no!

[1:20:07] All sorts of shenanigans are gonna happen overnight.

[1:20:09] That's right, it's night at the letter bag.

[1:20:12] Night at the letter bag, the letters are closed.

[1:20:16] Okay, well, changing it up for 2024.

[1:20:20] Now the letter songs end the segment.

[1:20:22] Interesting.

[1:20:23] Until I forget.

[1:20:25] Let's bring this episode to a close with the final segment,

[1:20:31] which is, pardon me, recommendations of movies

[1:20:35] that you should definitely watch instead of this one.

[1:20:39] I mean, you don't have to watch it.

[1:20:40] I'm just saying don't watch Rebel Moon.

[1:20:42] If our recommendation would be just don't watch Rebel Moon,

[1:20:44] watch no movies at all.

[1:20:46] If Rebel Moon's the only option, then yeah.

[1:20:48] Don't sit around and read poetry.

[1:20:51] Certainly don't do that.

[1:20:53] If that's what you enjoy, God bless you.

[1:20:55] I'm just saying it's never been much fun.

[1:20:57] God will bless you with the beauty of poetry.

[1:20:59] There's some poets I like.

[1:21:00] I like Yeats.

[1:21:01] Yeats has got some stuff.

[1:21:03] Name two Yeats poems you like.

[1:21:04] Now I'm challenging Dan.

[1:21:05] There's that one about Walk Softly because I'm walking on my dream,

[1:21:09] you're walking on my dreams,

[1:21:10] and there's the one about how the falcon can't hear the falconer anymore

[1:21:15] because the gyre has widened too much.

[1:21:18] Yeah, yeah, what rough beast, etc.

[1:21:21] Anyway.

[1:21:22] Okay, what's another poet that you like?

[1:21:23] So Yeats, okay.

[1:21:26] Billy Butler.

[1:21:27] There's some Dickinson I like.

[1:21:30] You know, she keeps it short.

[1:21:31] I like it.

[1:21:32] So you're a poet.

[1:21:34] You like poetry that doesn't take up your time.

[1:21:36] Mm-hmm.

[1:21:38] You're not one for a thanatopsis.

[1:21:40] There's that Variations on a Theme by William Carlos Williams.

[1:21:44] It's a very funny poem.

[1:21:46] Okay, sure.

[1:21:48] You're more of an Ogden Nash type poetry reader,

[1:21:50] you know, short, silly poems.

[1:21:53] I mean, if I had a choice between a short and silly poem

[1:21:57] and a long and non-silly poem, yes, I'm going to go with short and silly.

[1:22:00] That's my personal preference.

[1:22:02] Again, apologies if I've broken the hearts of any poets out there.

[1:22:07] You know, if you find beauty in it, that's enough.

[1:22:10] You know what?

[1:22:12] Anyway.

[1:22:13] Hold on, there's some angry letters coming through the transom right now

[1:22:16] from a first-name-withheld Neruda.

[1:22:20] Oh, no.

[1:22:22] I'm familiar with his words.

[1:22:24] Okay, but here's one from a William Carlos last-name-withheld.

[1:22:27] Thanks, Dan.

[1:22:28] Sure.

[1:22:30] Yeah, well, he shouldn't have eaten my goddamn plums

[1:22:32] if he wanted me to like his shit.

[1:22:34] He was so busy worrying about that wheelbarrow.

[1:22:36] So much to put on that wheelbarrow.

[1:22:38] Okay.

[1:22:40] He shouldn't have eaten those plums, yeah.

[1:22:43] So, speaking of movies, these are ones we're recommending.

[1:22:49] You know, I caught up with, you know, William Friedkin passed away.

[1:22:54] I caught up with his last film, The Kane Mutiny Court-Martial,

[1:22:58] which in a lot of ways is a return to how he started out

[1:23:02] shooting plays for television.

[1:23:08] And it's a movie that, like, look, it doesn't have a lot of visual pyrotechnics,

[1:23:15] although I think that the shots and the editing is very carefully chosen.

[1:23:19] But it takes all, almost all that takes place in the courtroom.

[1:23:24] Almost all of it is a court case, a fairly realistically presented court case.

[1:23:32] And so, if you're looking for, you know, a lot of vivid style and big incident,

[1:23:41] it's not a film for you.

[1:23:43] But it shows that what a group of talented actors,

[1:23:48] a very great, you know, talented cast for that,

[1:23:51] a talented director can do with, you know,

[1:23:56] material that is a very traditional courtroom drama

[1:24:00] and how much drama can be wrung out of that.

[1:24:03] And I, you know, it seems like I'm damning it with faint praise.

[1:24:08] I'm just saying that, you know, like, yeah, probably in the span of Friedkin's works,

[1:24:14] it's a more minor one, but it's one that I enjoyed watching

[1:24:19] and is widely available right now.

[1:24:22] If you have, I think it's on Showtime,

[1:24:25] which comes bundled with Paramount Plus these days.

[1:24:28] Paramount Plus with Showtime, a thing that could have been avoided

[1:24:32] if they just said Paramount Plus Showtime.

[1:24:35] But they didn't.

[1:24:36] Or if everyone decided that merging all things into one big thing.

[1:24:41] That's also a problem.

[1:24:42] Like a hellish media Katamari Damacy was not the right thing to do.

[1:24:46] Who's looking into buying Paramount Plus now?

[1:24:50] Like I feel like that's being merged.

[1:24:52] Jesus.

[1:24:53] Wasn't Warner Brothers Discovery going to buy Paramount?

[1:24:56] Yeah.

[1:24:57] So I guess we just gave up on that whole monopoly thing

[1:25:03] and regulating this sort of stuff.

[1:25:05] We did give up on that.

[1:25:07] Well, we don't need to get into that here,

[1:25:08] but I think because the entertainment business is considered a not serious business,

[1:25:12] it is often not given the same regulatory eye.

[1:25:17] It's one of our top exports as a nation anyway.

[1:25:22] Yeah, okay, cool.

[1:25:23] I agree with you, Dan.

[1:25:25] We're on your side.

[1:25:26] Yeah, come on.

[1:25:27] That was directed at you.

[1:25:29] I was incensed, Elliot, specifically at you.

[1:25:33] Okay, I'll team up with you, Dan.

[1:25:35] Because I'm the head of the Justice Department's antitrust division.

[1:25:39] Yes.

[1:25:40] I just like you.

[1:25:41] I just like poetry now.

[1:25:43] Oh, man.

[1:25:45] Okay, so.

[1:25:46] Dan says, Elliot, you're a poem.

[1:25:48] That's not a compliment.

[1:25:51] Since we're recommending movies about courtroom stuff,

[1:25:55] I'm going to recommend Anatomy of a Fall.

[1:25:59] It came out this year.

[1:26:01] It's from France.

[1:26:06] Yeah, it's really great.

[1:26:09] Right away, it's about a family and the husband dies

[1:26:15] and the resulting court case that is tied with that

[1:26:18] and how in the process of litigating this murder, death, suicide, who knows,

[1:26:27] they end up kind of litigating the relationship between these people.

[1:26:32] And it's really great, and I liked it a lot.

[1:26:35] And there's a very good dog actor who is a very good boy,

[1:26:40] and don't worry, nothing really bad happens to him.

[1:26:43] It's a European movie, so it's about ambiguity.

[1:26:46] Yay, that's true.

[1:26:48] Dan's right.

[1:26:49] Wait, did you know that, or did you just guess?

[1:26:52] I just assumed that's one of those movies.

[1:26:55] I'm going to recommend a not new movie because I'm behind on my screeners,

[1:27:00] and by behind on my screeners, I mean each time I'm about to recommend something,

[1:27:03] it turns out Stuart has recommended it an episode or two before me.

[1:27:08] Stuart's got his finger on the pulse of good-ass new movies.

[1:27:13] So I'm going to recommend an old artsy thing that I assume Stuart has not seen.

[1:27:17] This is a short film.

[1:27:19] It's not super short.

[1:27:20] It's like 50 minutes long or something like that from 1981 called You Are Not I.

[1:27:25] It was made by Sarah Driver, and Jim Jarmusch is the cinematographer on it.

[1:27:31] That's the world that it kind of comes out of,

[1:27:33] and it is a story about a woman, a lot of voiceover narration about a woman

[1:27:40] who is disturbed and manages to escape from the asylum that she's been sent to

[1:27:45] because there's a car crash outside,

[1:27:47] and it becomes a distraction that she can kind of use to get out,

[1:27:51] and eventually she is taken to the home of her sister

[1:27:54] who had initially sent her to this asylum,

[1:27:56] and a sort of low-key battle of wills comes about.

[1:28:00] Wait a minute.

[1:28:01] Low keys in it?

[1:28:02] No.

[1:28:03] Okay, I said it wrong.

[1:28:04] Maybe a creepy but not overtly violent battle of wills.

[1:28:08] Okay, cool.

[1:28:09] Now you're like the Journal of the Wills, the original screenplay for Star Wars,

[1:28:12] and I'm like no,

[1:28:14] and I found it to be one of the better movies I've seen about taking me into a mindset

[1:28:23] that is not understanding reality in an accurate way, let's say,

[1:28:29] and I found it really eerie and had a really great atmosphere to it.

[1:28:32] So that is You Are Not I, and it's a short film that you should be able to find.

[1:28:38] So the letter U are not I.

[1:28:41] No.

[1:28:42] The word U, Y-O-U, are not I.

[1:28:45] The letter I, as in the word I.

[1:28:47] I thought it was instructing that letters are different from one another.

[1:28:50] It's not spelled the way that a hip-hop song from the 90s would be spelled.

[1:28:54] U-B-40.

[1:28:56] No.

[1:28:57] That was the original title of This Is 40, I think.

[1:28:58] I-B-45, actually.

[1:29:02] Oh, man.

[1:29:03] That would have been awesome.

[1:29:04] And sometimes I-B-S.

[1:29:05] Aging.

[1:29:11] And don't miss, folks.

[1:29:13] So what do we do next now that we've recommended current movies and talked about poetry much?

[1:29:18] Dan's making a poop joke.

[1:29:19] You best not miss.

[1:29:23] Pass out because I'm coughing and laughing.

[1:29:27] Coughing is a portmanteau of coughing and laughing.

[1:29:32] Laughing is also a portmanteau of laughing and coughing.

[1:29:35] Well, to say goodbye, I think.

[1:29:36] We thank our editor, Alex Smith.

[1:29:40] You can find him all over the internet under the name HowlDotty and sometimes under his actual name.

[1:29:47] We want to thank Maximum Fun, our podcasting network.

[1:29:52] Without them, it would be a lot harder to do this show.

[1:29:57] Significantly harder.

[1:30:00] It would involve a lot of work that we don't want to do, so thank you.

[1:30:04] And if you want to check out other great podcasts on the network, go to MaximumFun.org.

[1:30:09] If you want to buy Jumbotron, we didn't mention it before, but over at MaximumFun.org slash

[1:30:13] Jumbotron, that's where that happens.

[1:30:17] And if you want to, leave us a kind review on iTunes probably, or someplace else if there's

[1:30:24] a place that takes podcast reviews, we'll take that as well.

[1:30:29] But anyway, I like to cover all the bases.

[1:30:33] Yeah, yeah.

[1:30:34] Pick up a copy of the fuckin' Peddler's Post and scroll it in the margins.

[1:30:42] But for this episode of The Flop House, I have been Dan McCoy.

[1:30:45] Hey, it's me, Stuart Wellington.

[1:30:47] And I'm Elliot Kalin saying Rebel Moon to ya.

[1:30:52] Happy New Year, bye!

[1:30:53] Bye before you bye-bye.

[1:30:54] God, is it sweltering in here, or is it me?

[1:31:05] I think you're going through the changes, buddy.

[1:31:06] Yeah, Dan, I think you're going through Dan-a-paws.

[1:31:08] Ch-ch-ch-changes.

[1:31:09] All right.

[1:31:22] Maximum Fun.

[1:31:23] A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.

Ep.#413 - Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire

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