FH Mini 97 - The Theatrical Experience

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] Hi, floppers. Before we start our regular nonsense, we wanted to make sure you knew the Flophouse is going on a four-city West Coast tour this January.

[0:08] It's the Flophouse Errors Tour, the biggest event in pop culture entertainment this year, probably.

[0:14] You can see us in Vancouver on Wednesday, January 24th at the Rio Theater.

[0:18] In Portland on Thursday, January 25th at the Aladdin Theater.

[0:22] In San Francisco on Friday, January 26th at Cobb's Comedy Club as part of San Francisco Sketch Fest.

[0:28] And in Los Angeles on Sunday, January 28th at the Regent Theater.

[0:32] For tickets, go to flophousepodcast.com slash events.

[0:36] Again, that's flophousepodcast.com slash events.

[0:39] The Flophouse Live. It's like the podcast, but you can smell us.

[0:43] And now, without further ado, our regular nonsense.

Stuart Wellington

[0:50] Hey! Hello! Welcome to a Flophouse Mini.

[0:53] That's right, this is the Flophouse Podcast, and I'm your host, Stuart Wellington, and joining me are...

[0:57] Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[0:59] And Elliot Kalin.

[1:01] Dan, I like the energy you gave it. You gave a lot of good energy to it, Dan, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:04] I'm sorry. I don't know why... I know that we introduced ourselves at the beginning of every show,

[1:09] but something about Stuart's way of turning to me...

[1:12] It threw me off. It threw me... I'm sorry.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14] Yeah, when it came time for Dan's turn to introduce himself, he visibly flinched from me.

[1:20] I froze.

[1:21] I was very unhappy.

[1:22] Who am I?

[1:23] Okay, so here at the Flophouse, we normally watch a bad movie and then talk about it, but today's a mini,

[1:28] so we're going to do something a little bit different.

[1:29] We're going to be doing a show that I like to call Only in Theaters.

[1:34] That's right, we're doing a special mini episode talking about the theater-going experience.

[1:38] Because you know me, Stuart Wellington, I'm a bit of a theater kid growing up.

[1:42] That means I liked seeing movies in movie theaters.

[1:45] That's what that means.

Elliott Kalan

[1:46] Usually you went to theater camp, which was just the movie theater in the summer.

Stuart Wellington

[1:50] That's what I would call it, yep.

[1:53] That's great.

[1:54] So I think you guys can agree that the movie theater experience has been fairly formative for all of us.

[2:00] Sure.

[2:00] And I would like to talk about various elements of the theater-going experience,

[2:05] and specifically I want to talk about an early pitch for the Flophouse TV show.

[2:10] This was pitched to me and then possibly not relayed to these guys a while ago by my wife Charlene.

[2:17] So this is all TM Charlene.

[2:19] One of our pitches for the Flophouse TV show was the idea that Dan would inherit a movie theater

[2:25] and that for some reason Stuart and Elliot would have to live with him

[2:28] and we would have to try and run a movie theater.

[2:31] But of course the only movies we would get would be bad ones that we would have to make fun of,

[2:36] something like that.

[2:36] This is a good pitch.

[2:37] I remember this pitch.

Dan McCoy

[2:38] This was a good one.

[2:38] I like it.

[2:40] So is it primarily sort of pivoting to a sitcom with this premise

[2:46] or is it sort of like mystery science theater where this is the framing device to us watching movies?

Elliott Kalan

[2:52] I think it could be both.

[2:53] Stuart, what was Charlene's original vision of it?

Stuart Wellington

[2:57] You know, I don't remember.

[3:00] This was many years ago.

[3:02] I think it was a little bit of both.

[3:04] I could see this being a sitcom elements and riff elements,

Elliott Kalan

[3:08] much as the way, same way that Jury Duty has kind of like sitcom elements and hidden camera prank elements, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[3:14] Yep.

[3:15] And just like that, we would also feature somebody who doesn't know we're making a show.

[3:19] That's right.

[3:19] Dan McCoy.

[3:23] You would be the plant, the real life person who pushed me out of bed.

[3:28] Uh-huh.

[3:29] So before we get too much into the theater-going experience, let's talk a little bit about this movie theater.

[3:35] If we inherited a movie theater, Dan inherits a movie theater and we had to run it.

[3:39] Love it.

[3:39] Yeah.

[3:40] What would we name that movie theater?

[3:42] The Flophouse is the obvious one, but I say let's dig a little deeper.

Dan McCoy

[3:46] Sure, yeah.

[3:47] Okay.

[3:48] The Peach Pit.

[3:48] Well, really putting us on the spot for a clever rejoinder or even something un-clever.

[3:54] You can think about it.

[3:54] Why don't we circle back?

[3:55] Dan McCoy's movie madhouse?

Stuart Wellington

[3:57] Okay.

[3:58] Why would we mess with perfection?

[4:00] Dan McCoy's movie madhouse.

[4:03] Now, I'm assuming in this case it would also only be a single screen, not a multiplex, right?

[4:08] I would think so, probably.

Dan McCoy

[4:09] Yeah, I'm imagining an old-time kind of like, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[4:12] Old-timey movie houses.

[4:13] Now, that's the thing, guys.

[4:14] Do you, speaking of movie theater experiences, I went to a-

[4:18] That's what we're doing.

[4:20] I went-

[4:20] Germany.

Stuart Wellington

[4:22] Like a few years back, I went to a small theater in downtown Brooklyn.

[4:27] I think the one on Court Street, maybe?

[4:29] And they, the smell of like-

[4:30] Oh, the little one.

[4:31] The real little one.

[4:32] Yeah, the little one.

[4:32] Oh, I know that one.

[4:33] The smell of popcorn baked into that fucking carpet.

[4:37] And the sound of like video games around the corner.

[4:40] Like it took me back so hard.

[4:42] So it made the experience of going to see Gone Girl that much better.

[4:48] But I feel like a little bit of that is lost nowadays.

[4:52] I don't know.

[4:52] When was the last time you went to a movie theater that smelled like a movie theater?

Dan McCoy

[4:57] That's interesting.

[4:58] Because, you know, yeah.

[5:00] Yeah.

[5:00] Like we have these like, all these like boutique theaters near us in Brooklyn now that I don't

[5:05] feel like I go into one where it's just like someone dropped a bunch of butter flavored coconut

[5:12] oil on the carpet 20 years ago.

[5:14] The place still stinks.

Elliott Kalan

[5:16] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[5:16] Yeah.

[5:16] There's a, most of the theaters near us are pretty, pretty new and clean.

[5:21] And like we went, I took my kids to see a movie, was it last weekend?

[5:24] I guess it was.

[5:25] And my younger son spilled an entire jumbo bucket of popcorn right outside the theater.

[5:30] And I reported it to the staff there.

[5:32] And when I, when we left the theater, it was a gone and you would never have known it had

[5:35] happened.

[5:36] Like there was not a single crumb left.

Stuart Wellington

[5:38] And, but there is a theater.

[5:40] It was like those aliens in heavy metal that use their giant like vacuum noses to snort up

[5:44] cocaine.

[5:45] Exactly.

[5:45] But with popcorn.

[5:46] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[5:46] But there is a theater in Pasadena that is an old, fairly rundown theater, very poorly

[5:51] laid out.

[5:52] I took my older son to see the Ninja Turtles movie there.

[5:55] And I was delighted to see that the middle of the theater where the best seats would be

[6:00] was actually where the stairs going up into the room were.

[6:03] And they had railings around it.

[6:04] So if you wanted to sit in the middle theater, you had to look over the railings.

[6:07] It was the worst laid out theater I feel like I've ever been in.

[6:10] But there was something very old fashioned about that, that like, this was probably a bigger

[6:14] room that they cut up maybe or something like that.

[6:16] But, and the place is dirty and it smells gross and popcorn-y.

[6:20] But there's something kind of fun about that because it felt like, oh, we're going to a

[6:22] real movie theater.

[6:22] We're not going to like a clean multiplex that you would go, that you would order food at

[6:29] your chair from.

[6:30] We're going to like a place that feels old, you know.

[6:33] So there was something nice about that.

[6:34] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[6:35] So this is, I mean, this is all important information because we're obviously brainstorming

[6:39] the movie theater that we're going to be opening.

Elliott Kalan

[6:41] And it's going to, it's got to be a gross old theater.

[6:43] There's no, it's no fun if it's a, if we're doing this at a clean new theater.

[6:47] Right.

[6:48] So yeah, of course not.

Stuart Wellington

[6:50] It has, it has to be a hell hole.

[6:52] So it has to be like the old Park Slope Pavilion Theater.

Elliott Kalan

[6:57] I was just thinking the same one, the Pavilion Theater, which everyone said they had bedbugs.

[7:01] I don't think they did, but they did routinely turn off or just break the lights in the stairs.

[7:07] So if you had to go to the upstairs theater, you would be in the dark, just hoping you didn't

[7:11] fall down.

Dan McCoy

[7:12] I mean, they certainly had multiple screens with visible tears on them or stains for where

[7:16] sodas have been thrown.

[7:17] And a lot of theaters where even the seats that didn't have garbage bags over them to indicate

[7:24] that they were broken were broken.

Stuart Wellington

[7:26] They're still broken.

[7:27] I remember seeing a hot tub time machine in one of those theaters and the, like, the

[7:34] smell of mildewy chairs was so prevalent.

[7:37] I'm like, I'm in the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[7:39] That was, I used to go, that theater was in close walking distance to my apartment.

[7:43] So I would go there so often and it was just like, you knew there would be no one else

[7:46] in the theater because no one else wanted to be in that theater.

[7:49] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[7:49] You were there because you wanted to see a movie.

[7:52] Because you have a problem.

Stuart Wellington

[7:56] You know how some people in the summer go see movies because they want to get some air

[8:00] conditioning?

[8:01] That's not why you're at the Pavilion Theater.

[8:03] No.

[8:03] Because you will not get it.

Dan McCoy

[8:06] Because something in you demands the movie experience.

[8:09] And this is what is within walking distance.

[8:11] That is their, that is their, that was their promise to you.

Elliott Kalan

[8:14] And then I would round it out by going to the used bookstore that I think is now closed,

[8:18] which was roughly the size of an alleyway and smelled like cat pee.

[8:21] And every book I bought there also smelled like cat pee.

[8:25] Cool.

Stuart Wellington

[8:27] Oh, that rules.

[8:28] So now the downtown Manhattan Theater where you could always hear the subway, was that

[8:34] the Angelica?

[8:35] That's the Angelica.

[8:36] Oh man, that was great too.

[8:37] And they had, that was.

[8:38] And they would always crank the AC so high.

[8:40] That was the movie theater.

Dan McCoy

[8:40] We were talking about it in the past tense.

Stuart Wellington

[8:42] It's still there.

[8:43] I think it's still around.

[8:43] Yeah.

[8:43] But I remember seeing, years ago I remember seeing Snowpiercer there and the combination

[8:48] of super frigid cold atmosphere and the sound of subway trains running.

[8:52] I was like, I'm in the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[8:55] 40X, man.

[8:55] I used to go, I remember, I saw a lot of movies there.

[8:58] I remember they have one theater there that's tiny.

[9:00] That's so incredibly tiny.

[9:01] And I saw Primer in that theater.

[9:03] I saw The Fountain when I was first dating my wife.

[9:06] And a lot of magical experiences in this tiny theater where you can hear trains, sometimes

[9:11] the other theaters also.

[9:12] And the refreshments are pretty expensive.

Dan McCoy

[9:16] Stuart, do you remember the theater that was like, it was closed very early on in our time

[9:21] in New York, but it was like basically across from Charlene's.

[9:24] There was a place there that then became like an American Apparel.

[9:28] Yeah.

[9:29] It was an American Apparel for a long time.

[9:30] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[9:30] I never actually saw a movie at that theater.

Dan McCoy

[9:33] I saw The Final Matrix.

Stuart Wellington

[9:36] Oh.

Dan McCoy

[9:37] Which was a disappointing experience.

[9:39] And the Ang Lee Incredible Hulk there.

[9:41] It was called Matrix Disappointments.

[9:42] That was the title.

[9:43] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[9:44] I feel like it had a cultural reevaluation.

Elliott Kalan

[9:48] I guess so.

[9:48] But Dan, I cut you off.

[9:49] Sorry.

[9:50] What was your experience in Matrix?

[9:51] What, Revolutions?

[9:52] Yeah, I saw that and Ang Lee's The Hulk.

Dan McCoy

[9:55] A movie that I still like.

[9:57] No, that one's fun.

[9:58] It's got, you know, it's got flair.

[10:00] But that was also kind of just like no frills.

[10:04] You walk in there and it's like, okay, well, this kind of feels like a big, I don't know,

[10:10] storage container that got turned into a movie theater.

Stuart Wellington

[10:13] That was the movie where there's occasional wipes where it like turns into a comic book page.

[10:19] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[10:20] Man, I wish comic book movies did that shit still.

Stuart Wellington

[10:24] They're like, no, it's a movie.

[10:25] We don't have to do that.

[10:26] We don't have to.

[10:27] People know it's a comic book.

[10:28] It's a movie now.

Elliott Kalan

[10:29] At this point, more people know this from the movies than know it as a comic book.

Dan McCoy

[10:33] Panels.

[10:34] We have to show that there's panels.

Elliott Kalan

[10:35] Was that like an old-time movie house or what's going on there?

Dan McCoy

[10:39] I mean, I don't think of old-time movie house in the way that like I would think of like, oh, the old movie palaces.

[10:44] But like a family house.

Elliott Kalan

[10:45] You're not going to get less action heroed while you're there.

Dan McCoy

[10:47] It certainly reminded me of like the place.

[10:50] I wish I could remember what it was called.

[10:53] Like Sunnyland.

[10:55] Sunnyland, I think, movie theater in Washington, Illinois.

[10:59] The half an hour away that we would drive to when I was a kid.

[11:03] That kind of like, I don't know.

[11:05] It could be the architecture.

[11:08] That Midwestern architecture where it could be a church or it could be a fast food restaurant.

[11:16] In this case, it was a movie theater.

[11:19] Yeah, it kind of reminded me of that.

Stuart Wellington

[11:21] Now, I want you guys to think back.

[11:23] We've all been seeing movies for a while now.

[11:26] Can you think back to a time where you have been a bad movie theater attendee?

[11:32] Like, have you walked out of a movie before?

[11:35] Have you been particularly disruptive?

Elliott Kalan

[11:38] I've never walked out of a movie.

[11:40] In fact, I remember seeing Joe's apartment in the theaters.

[11:44] And the film broke within 20 minutes.

[11:46] And me and my brother sat around waiting for them to fix it.

[11:50] It just took too long and we had to go.

[11:52] But we were – even that was the universe telling us you should walk out of this movie early.

[11:57] But there have definitely been times when – I mean, on the day – we've talked about this on the podcast.

[12:02] On my wedding day when we all went to see Piranha 3D, we were not particularly good audience members to the two other people in the theater for that one.

Stuart Wellington

[12:09] Who were expecting a somber viewing of Piranha 3D.

Elliott Kalan

[12:14] Or when Jenny Jaffe and I went to go see Cats in the theaters.

[12:19] But otherwise –

Stuart Wellington

[12:20] I feel like you probably weren't as bad as the people that were in the same theater as us as Cats who were trying to do their own riff show.

[12:28] And I'm not talking about me and Dan.

[12:29] We were being lovely.

[12:30] We were enjoying it like it was meant to be enjoyed.

[12:33] Somewhat ironically.

Elliott Kalan

[12:35] But otherwise, like, I don't usually talk – I don't talk back to the screen.

[12:38] I don't yell in movies.

[12:39] I don't masturbate in the theater.

[12:40] I don't – I try not to steal things ahead.

[12:42] You got to try.

[12:43] You got to try.

Stuart Wellington

[12:45] I mean, when I was a teenager, I definitely remember seeing, what, Man Without a Face with a bunch of fellow teens.

[12:51] And we were super disruptive.

[12:53] We, like, snuck fucking jolt colas in.

[12:55] We were real jerks.

[12:57] Yeah.

[12:57] And I think we were either kicked out or left.

Dan McCoy

[12:59] I don't think I have ever been that guy.

[13:02] I've left a couple – like, I remember distinctly I left the Korean horror movie The Eye.

[13:08] Not because it was particularly bad.

[13:11] Like, I've never seen it in full since then.

[13:15] But I know that there are proponents out there.

[13:18] I know it.

[13:19] I just – you know, I was going there because it was my birthday and I was like, I want to see a movie.

[13:25] Like, this one's gotten good – and, like, just the vibe just was wrong.

[13:29] You know?

[13:29] I'm like, this is not making me happy right now.

[13:32] Let's leave.

Elliott Kalan

[13:33] Dan, you reminded me of the one time I did walk out of a movie.

[13:35] I did do this.

[13:36] It was on September 12, 2001 when I was living in a dorm on Union Square in New York.

[13:43] There was what used to be that huge AMC theater that was on the corner of 14th Street and – was it Broadway?

[13:49] I can't remember.

[13:50] That has since recently – relatively recently closed.

[13:53] And the day after September 11th, they posted notices on the doors saying, New York, let's make this a day at the movies.

[14:00] Let's forget our troubles or something like that.

[14:02] Free movies all day.

[14:03] Free refreshments all day.

[14:05] And me and another college student were like, oh, we've been hearing that Jeepers Creepers is kind of a fun throwback to, like, old-timey grindhouse horror.

[14:13] And we got the biggest popcorns we could and the biggest sodas because it was all free.

[14:17] And we went into our free packed screening of Jeepers Creepers.

[14:20] And about 10 minutes in, we were like, I don't have this.

[14:24] I can't right now.

[14:25] This is not doing it for me.

[14:26] And we left that.

[14:27] Yeah.

[14:27] So it was extenuating circumstances.

[14:28] It was the day after September 11th.

Dan McCoy

[14:30] Well, yeah, I mean, it's never been as dramatic for me as September 11th.

[14:35] But the times that I've left a movie have been all about, you know, like, I love movies as I think should be apparent to listeners of this podcast.

[14:46] Even ones that you probably shouldn't.

[14:48] Even ones that I probably shouldn't.

[14:49] To listeners of the podcast, yeah.

[14:51] And because of that, I think I reflexively think to myself, like, what do I want to do?

[14:57] I want to watch a movie.

[14:58] Like, this will make me happy.

[14:59] I'll go to the movies.

[15:01] And as I've grown older and better able to sort of identify my own emotions, there have been more times where I'm like, oh, I did this because I thought it would make me happy.

[15:15] It's not actually what I need to do right now.

[15:18] Like, a lot of the times, like, I'm seeing a thing because I'm part of a loyalty program.

[15:21] So I'm paying the fee anyway.

[15:22] It's not like I spent extra money for this movie.

[15:24] I'm going to leave.

[15:25] Yeah, it's like a post-nut clarity or something.

[15:28] Exactly.

[15:29] Maybe I'd rather be reading quietly at home.

[15:32] Maybe that would make me happier.

Elliott Kalan

[15:35] I mean, and I think it's very mature of you that you don't have that feeling, that completionist feeling where you're like, I'm here.

[15:41] I have to watch the whole thing.

[15:43] Like, I can't not finish it.

Stuart Wellington

[15:44] I did walk out of a screening of Logan that I went to.

[15:48] It was a matinee.

[15:49] And I didn't realize.

[15:51] Nope.

[15:51] Logan, the killer Wolverine movie.

[15:55] Oh, okay.

[15:56] And the, I didn't realize it was a matinee and I didn't realize it was like a school holiday.

[16:02] So I sit down and then like right after the movie started, like a mom brings in like a dozen very young children.

[16:12] And then Wolverine starts like chopping dudes' arms and saying fucking shit.

[16:15] And like the kids start, are like yelling.

[16:17] And I'm like, I just stand up and I go, fuck this.

[16:20] And walk out of the theater.

[16:21] Yeah.

[16:23] That was just like, it was just passive aggressive enough, but it was a little showy.

[16:28] Oh, man, it was great.

[16:29] I felt really good.

[16:31] And, or I could talk about the time that I was, when I went and saw Speed Racer on a school, or school trip, on a work trip.

[16:39] School trip.

[16:40] I wish it was.

[16:41] Okay, class, today we're going to see Speed Racer.

Dan McCoy

[16:43] Our field trip to the Museum of Science and Industry where they're playing Speed Racer for some reason.

Stuart Wellington

[16:48] I went to this, I was at, it was like with a bunch of work people and I was out of town.

[16:53] And I just remember I was getting into a very intense like sexting situation with an ex.

[16:58] And it was, I was like.

[16:59] Ex-sexting.

[17:00] Yeah, yeah, I'm like, I got to, I like kept sneaking out of the theater.

[17:04] And that was, I think that was back in the day when like iPhones, if you wanted to send a dirty message, like a dirty picture, it didn't go direct.

[17:11] It like went to a website you had to log into.

[17:14] I remember that.

[17:15] Was it?

[17:15] It makes it really hard to pay attention to Speed Racer, which is a movie you really have to.

Elliott Kalan

[17:18] Pay close attention to.

[17:19] When you first knew me, I was married for a long time.

Dan McCoy

[17:22] So by the time any sexting entered my life, it was.

Stuart Wellington

[17:25] You don't sex with your partner?

[17:27] Oh man, it really spiced things up.

[17:29] Okay, so let's, now that we're talking about.

Dan McCoy

[17:31] I've never done it.

Stuart Wellington

[17:32] I'm just, I'm not aware of this.

[17:34] We've talked about great theater experiences, maybe some bad ones.

[17:37] How do you guys feel?

[17:38] Do you prefer a totally full theater or an empty theater?

Dan McCoy

[17:43] You know, honestly, it just depends on the people in that crowd.

[17:52] Like, if they are respectful moviegoers, I would always prefer a full theater for certain types of movies.

[18:01] Like, horror or comedy, I think work the best when you're just like with a full crowd that's in it.

[18:08] But if it's like assholes, I don't want those people.

[18:11] I would rather be there alone.

Stuart Wellington

[18:12] Let's assume that not everyone is an asshole.

Dan McCoy

[18:16] I think that for the most part, like, well, I guess it differs for genres, what I would say.

[18:20] Like, there are certain genres where I'm like, I hunger more for like the communal experience.

[18:25] But I also really enjoy going into a theater and being like, yeah, I'm the only one here.

Elliott Kalan

[18:29] Like, so, Dan, you're going to see Ava Devaney's Origin.

[18:33] Do you want a full communal packed theater or do you want just to be by yourself?

Dan McCoy

[18:37] Yeah, because it's just a crowd pleasure that's going to have a lot of moments where people stand up and cheer, like Flash is entering the speed force.

Elliott Kalan

[18:43] This year, I feel like Origin is a lock for that stand up and cheer moment award.

[18:48] Oh, man.

[18:48] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[18:49] It's up there with the zone of interest.

Elliott Kalan

[18:52] Oh, my God.

[18:53] I didn't.

[18:55] I'm not cheering.

[18:57] Certain people are cheering.

[18:58] They feel emboldened to cheer, whereas in the past, perhaps they wouldn't have cheered.

[19:02] I think the – for me, it depends on how I'm feeling at the moment and, like, Dan saying what kind of movie it is.

[19:08] Like, there are times when I've enjoyed having that private theater feeling when I'm the only one there for a matinee.

[19:13] But there are other times where it feels – I feel sad that I'm the only one there.

[19:18] Like, I went to see Stop Making Sense when it was re-released in the theaters.

[19:22] And there was part of me that was – there were only a couple other people in the theater.

[19:26] There's part of me that was kind of glad because it meant I didn't have to feel self-conscious if I was, like, moving to the music at all.

[19:31] But there's also part of me that was like, oh, it would be cool if this was more of a, like, a whole audience getting into this concert feel.

[19:37] You know, if it felt more like a concert that way.

[19:39] You know?

Stuart Wellington

[19:40] Yeah.

[19:41] Now, I think – I mean, I think in general we all agree that, like, seeing a movie in the theater is probably the preferred experience.

[19:49] But is there a specific – like, you had mentioned genres work better with different crowds.

[19:55] Is there a type of movie that, like, you need to see in the theater as opposed to watching at home?

[20:01] Or in the universe?

Dan McCoy

[20:03] I mean, I think that there's this general conventional wisdom like, oh, like, big movies are, like, what you got to see in the theater.

[20:14] And I get why that catches on because it has a certain, like, blunt ring of truth of, like, I want to see something visual, highly visual in the theater.

[20:24] But again –

[20:24] And it can change the impact.

Elliott Kalan

[20:26] Like, when I saw Gravity in the theater, I was like, this is amazing.

[20:29] And I have not watched it since then because it's not going to be the same on a television or an iPad.

Dan McCoy

[20:33] I have never had any desire to revisit Avatar at home, not in giant 3D.

[20:42] But I had a good time at the time.

Stuart Wellington

[20:44] I saw – yeah, I saw somebody on a plane watching Gravity and I'm like, this is a weird experience, buddy.

Elliott Kalan

[20:50] But I feel like it's – but it can be helpful for me sometimes to be in theater for a smaller movie because I can be hyper-focused on it.

[20:56] There's no disturbance.

[20:57] Like, I watched Past Lives at home and I loved it.

[21:00] But I kept thinking, like, if I was watching this theater, I could be watching this only and not distracted by anything else.

[21:06] And I think I would pick up so much nuance in the performances that I was probably missing.

Stuart Wellington

[21:10] Yeah, you were so distracted by, like, all the possibilities that you missed out on and all the things that you –

[21:17] Exactly, yeah.

[21:18] Like, the different paths your life could have taken.

[21:20] But, like, you weren't in a theater, so you –

Elliott Kalan

[21:23] Well, I was at home and so I really – I was distracted by the reminding of what it was like when I was Maud Deeb and I had the choice between creating a galactic jihad or not.

[21:33] And I chose the not.

[21:33] And it's like, well, what if it had been different?

[21:35] What if I had gone all the way with it?

[21:37] Yeah, that makes sense.

Dan McCoy

[21:38] But that's what I wanted to get at, though.

[21:40] Without the – you know, throw the conventional wisdom out.

[21:43] I think any good movie is probably enhanced by seeing it in the theater, whereas there are some, like, mediocre movies that maybe you'd be easier on, critically, if you saw them at home and didn't feel like you were making a big deal out of it.

[21:57] And then, of course, there are certain sort of art films from Europe with highly sexual situations that maybe are best enjoyed in the privacy of your own home.

[22:09] Not in the theater with your mom.

Stuart Wellington

[22:10] Yeah, sure.

[22:11] Yeah, yeah.

[22:11] Of course.

[22:12] Yeah, just – although you were talking about cranking in the theater.

[22:14] Do you want to elaborate on that?

[22:17] Yeah, Dan, you came out as pro cranking.

Elliott Kalan

[22:19] JK, just kidding.

Stuart Wellington

[22:20] Oh, JK, JKs.

[22:21] Okay, cool.

Elliott Kalan

[22:22] That means that there are horror movies.

[22:23] I would normally rather see a horror movie in a theater with an audience because you can get their scares.

[22:28] But there are times when a horror movie is much scarier to me if I'm at home by myself.

[22:31] Or like I watched Barbarian by myself at home, and it was like, yeah, I'm in a situation where someone could come out of the basement right now and kill me.

[22:39] And it made it scarier.

[22:40] Or watching Mandy at home, I had an extra level of fear that my children would get up from their bedrooms and walk in at any moment and see what I was watching, and it would traumatize them.

Stuart Wellington

[22:50] Yeah, I mean, the real joy of Mandy seeing in the theater was the moment when I'm like, I'm watching this in a movie theater.

[22:57] Yeah.

[22:58] This is crazy.

[23:00] Yeah.

[23:01] Yeah, what a picture.

[23:03] So, we've talked a little bit about the experience.

[23:06] Let's talk about snacks.

[23:08] What kind of movie snacks do you love in a movie theater?

Dan McCoy

[23:13] Movie snacks.

Stuart Wellington

[23:14] Popcorn, candy.

[23:16] Do you go nuts?

[23:17] Do you buy everything and have to hire somebody to carry it for you?

Elliott Kalan

[23:20] I go with classic PC.

[23:22] An old PC computer that you just take bites out of.

[23:25] Just rip off the circuits and eat them.

[23:27] I'm just kidding.

[23:27] Popcorn is what I'm talking about.

[23:28] You have to have popcorn for me.

[23:29] I love popcorn.

Dan McCoy

[23:34] The sizes at which you get it at the movie theater, even when it's small, and the butter,

[23:40] which I want.

[23:41] Damn it, I want the weird butter, but I know how bad it is.

[23:44] Yeah.

[23:45] I just feel bad.

[23:47] So, I get something that's also bad for me, but feels size-wise at least less of an indulgement.

[23:54] I actually like nachos.

Elliott Kalan

[23:56] Okay.

[23:56] Nachos.

[23:57] Interesting.

[23:57] I do definitely, at the end of a movie, I always feel gross because of all the popcorn

[24:01] I've eaten.

[24:01] Like, my stomach always feels bad.

[24:04] So, yeah, I mean, obviously, I like-

[24:07] Stuart, now, you mostly just eat kind of nuts and berries throughout the day in small amounts.

[24:11] Forage.

[24:12] What has fallen on the horse floor.

[24:14] So, what do you eat in the theaters?

[24:16] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[24:16] Yeah.

[24:16] When I'm at one of these fancy boutique theaters where they have a full kitchen, I'm like,

[24:21] can you just make me, like, a garden salad?

[24:25] I mean, I am kind of lame.

[24:28] Can I buy one onion and just eat that?

[24:31] Yeah.

[24:32] I'll have a twig.

[24:33] No bark, please.

[24:33] I'll keep it in my pocket until it gets a little bit soft, and then I eat it, because

[24:36] that's when it's the best, when it's nice, soft, and sweet, you know?

[24:38] Yeah, soft, sweet onion.

[24:40] So-

[24:41] That's also Stuart's-

Elliott Kalan

[24:42] I mean, there is a lot of sweetness in-

[24:44] That was also Stuart's catchphrase when he was Superman's best friend, Stuart Wellington.

[24:47] Soft, sweet onion, Superman.

Stuart Wellington

[24:51] I, you know, I often go and make, like, a full experience out of going to the movies

[24:59] when I'll go to, like, the Nighthawk or one of the Alamos, like one of these boutique

[25:03] theaters with a full kitchen, and I spend a lot of money, which is, I feel like I'm glad

[25:08] these theaters weren't common when I was, like, a broke 20-year-old, because I'd be like,

[25:14] but I want to go to the movies and spend all my money.

[25:18] But, yeah, like, I'll often get, like, a salad or a grain bowl.

[25:22] They have, like, sandwiches, but that always feels, like, too messy of a food item to me.

[25:27] Yeah.

[25:27] Like, pizza or flatbread mixes.

[25:28] Over a salad or a grain bowl?

Dan McCoy

[25:30] I'm sorry.

[25:30] You're in the dark.

[25:32] You're in the dark.

[25:33] There's nothing of the foods that one could have as a full dinner.

[25:38] Like, a sandwich is a good choice for a movie theater.

[25:42] Like, the reason I don't tend to get, like, I'm always, like, I mean, granted, there's

[25:47] probably other more base reasons why I'm, like, eschewing the healthier food, but I'm,

[25:53] like, I can't eat that.

[25:55] Like, I don't want something that involves me, like, putting a fork back and forth to

[25:59] my mouth in the dark several times and dropping shit on myself.

[26:01] Yeah, you might accidentally stab your dick, which is out because you're masturbating while

Elliott Kalan

[26:04] watching the movie, apparently.

Stuart Wellington

[26:05] Oh, yeah.

[26:06] You might pour fucking queso all over it.

[26:08] I just know.

[26:08] One time.

Elliott Kalan

[26:09] You take a bite out of it because you think it's a sausage or something.

[26:11] Oh, God, that would be horrible.

Dan McCoy

[26:13] One time, one of these places, I had, like, their, like, brunch pizza, which ended up having,

[26:19] like, an over-easy egg in the middle of it, which, don't get me wrong.

[26:25] Sounds delicious.

[26:25] Under normal circumstances, I would enjoy.

[26:28] Under these circumstances, I ended up with yolk all over my pants.

[26:33] Not even on your face, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[26:34] Yeah, I shouldn't have worn my fresh, clean, black pants.

[26:39] I think I went and saw, like, one of the Mission Impossibles, and I got, I wore, like, black

[26:45] on black and got queso all over myself because I was getting so into the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[26:51] I was, there was, I did have a great sandwich experience in the movies once when my brother

[26:55] and I went to go see Shoot Em Up in the theaters the day after Yom Kippur.

[27:01] And we had all this, my grandmother had hosted breakfast the day before and gave us all the

[27:06] sliced Hebrew national salami that was left over.

[27:09] So we just made ourselves enormous salami sandwiches and just sat there watching this movie eating

[27:13] salami sandwich after salami sandwich.

[27:15] And it was a duet of pleasures.

[27:17] Yeah.

[27:17] Beautiful.

Stuart Wellington

[27:17] I feel like if you shaved some carrot on there, that would have been perfect for the movie,

[27:21] but that's, you know.

[27:21] Yeah, because he does eat carrots in it, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[27:23] Yeah, he's always chomping on carrots.

[27:25] And his ice cake gets immediately better.

Stuart Wellington

[27:27] Now, we talked about, we talked about what we have eaten.

[27:31] What do we think, what is a, like, peering into the future, what do you think is a snack

[27:35] item that movie theaters should start to have?

[27:39] Are we talking-

[27:40] Bitcoin, is that a food?

[27:41] Dippin' Dots?

[27:42] Dippin' Dots, the ice cream of the future?

Elliott Kalan

[27:44] My kids would love that because they love Dippin' Dots, even though I think it's not so

[27:48] good.

[27:49] More corn dogs, I feel like-

[27:50] Dippin' or the dots?

[27:51] The dots.

[27:52] They like the dots.

[27:53] I think the dots are the ice cream part.

[27:55] The action of getting the ice cream into them is not, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[27:58] I feel like, I don't see a lot of corn dogs on menus, but I feel like that's, like, that's

[28:02] such a self-contained item, right?

[28:04] Like-

[28:04] Oh, I feel like-

[28:05] Yeah.

[28:05] It's not going anywhere.

Elliott Kalan

[28:07] Yeah.

[28:08] I think that, I think corn dogs might be hard for theaters because unless you're

[28:12] just having soggy frozen corn dogs, you need a fryer-

[28:15] Yeah.

[28:15] In the snack area.

Stuart Wellington

[28:17] That being said-

[28:18] Sushi would probably be a bad idea.

[28:20] Soup is probably a bad idea.

Elliott Kalan

[28:21] Yeah.

[28:22] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[28:22] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[28:22] Soup is best for airplanes, and that's it.

Elliott Kalan

[28:25] And roller coasters.

[28:26] Yeah, sure.

[28:27] What's the movie food?

[28:29] It's so hard because popcorn is such-

[28:31] Popcorn and candy are such perfect things because, as Dan has said, you can eat them in the

[28:35] dark easily.

Stuart Wellington

[28:36] What if you're, like, imagine you're in a place that has a full kitchen, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[28:40] Mm-hmm.

[28:40] Okay.

[28:42] Soylent tacos.

[28:43] Soylent tacos.

[28:43] I am in a place with a full kitchen.

[28:44] My house.

[28:45] Okay.

[28:45] What do we have here?

[28:46] Yeah.

[28:46] How about some soylent corn?

[28:48] Mm-hmm.

[28:49] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[28:50] Soylent corn.

[28:52] Okay.

[28:53] Like, just like a big pile of bacon?

[28:57] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[28:57] Yeah.

[28:58] Beans?

[28:59] What about beans?

[29:00] Is there something there?

[29:01] Beans?

[29:01] I don't think so because then you're going to get a theater full of farts.

[29:04] That's not so great.

[29:05] Yeah.

[29:06] Okay.

[29:07] What is, I'm having trouble.

[29:09] I feel like I go, I feel like there are theaters with relatively full kitchens now.

[29:12] So it's hard for me.

[29:13] I feel like the, that permeable, semi-permeable membrane between not a movie food and a movie

[29:18] food has been, has been broken so much.

Stuart Wellington

[29:20] So what do you think?

[29:20] Like a pork tenderloin or some short ribs?

[29:23] Yeah, probably.

Elliott Kalan

[29:24] Oh, maybe ribs.

[29:24] Yeah.

[29:24] Ribs.

[29:25] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[29:25] No, one of those classic Midwestern pork tenderloins where the thing's like 80 times the size

[29:31] of the bun.

[29:32] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[29:32] It's like where, like the bun's just like a tiny little hat on it.

[29:35] Yeah.

[29:35] Right.

Dan McCoy

[29:36] I love them.

[29:37] I, I, I introduced those to Audrey and she's like, but why?

[29:41] And I'm like, I don't know.

[29:42] Completely excesses the joy in and of itself.

[29:45] Just to like.

Stuart Wellington

[29:45] It is wild that they, that there's a commitment to putting like a little bun on it.

[29:49] Cause you're like, you don't need it.

[29:51] Like.

[29:51] Yeah.

[29:52] But you know.

[29:52] No one is ever eating a pork chop and is like, this would be better if I had a small

Elliott Kalan

[29:55] amount of bread.

[29:56] You're like.

Stuart Wellington

[29:56] Cause you can't even hold the bun with your hand unless you have like crazy long fingers.

[30:02] Now when you're a kid, you know, you're always worried.

Elliott Kalan

[30:03] You have plastic man fingers that can stretch.

[30:05] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[30:05] So you have to hold it with two hands with one of your top hand on the top of the bun.

Dan McCoy

[30:09] Have you ever had the experience where you're like, oh man, like the sandwich has like

[30:14] these portions where I'm just getting bread.

[30:16] I'm not getting the stuff inside here.

[30:18] You're you don't have to worry about that.

[30:20] No.

[30:20] Not at all.

Elliott Kalan

[30:21] I mean, but it will have the issue.

[30:23] I think I'm have usually with hamburgers, which is that the bottom half, the bottom half

[30:27] of the bun just disintegrates in my hands and I have to turn the hamburger either upside down

[30:31] or eat it with a knife and fork.

[30:32] Cause it's just in wet pieces at that point.

Stuart Wellington

[30:34] Cause you ordered an extra wet burger, right?

[30:37] I mean, to be honest, I do like them super juicy.

Elliott Kalan

[30:40] So yeah.

[30:41] Yeah.

[30:41] They go, how would you like your burger cooked?

[30:43] And I say, does it have to be cooked?

[30:45] Can it just be kind of like a wet lump of raw meat?

[30:47] And they say, no, we can't do that.

[30:49] So maybe like raw hamburger, just a lump of raw hamburger to eat with your hands at the movie

[30:52] theater.

Stuart Wellington

[30:53] My trainer was telling me that he'll catch his dad just going through the, he'll open up

[30:58] the fridge and just take like handfuls of ground beef, like uncooked ground beef and like

[31:03] carry it around like snack on it.

[31:07] I'll get there someday.

Elliott Kalan

[31:09] I've always, I've always dreamed about having a little shelf in my car that I can put a rotisserie

[31:13] chicken on so I can just with steer with one hand while I reach with the other hand

[31:17] and just pick off pieces of chicken to eat.

[31:19] Yeah.

[31:19] Vision's the future.

Dan McCoy

[31:19] When I was in Paris like some years back, I remember.

[31:25] Oh, all right.

[31:25] Must be nice.

[31:27] Yeah.

[31:27] Well, you know, I was working at the Daily Show at the time.

[31:30] It was easier.

[31:30] Oh, wow.

[31:30] Must be nice.

[31:31] Yeah.

[31:32] Well, you know it was.

[31:33] You were there too.

[31:33] Yeah, it was nice.

[31:35] Anyway, I saw someone, I was at this like little bistro and I saw someone order steak tartare

[31:41] and you know, like, you know, I've seen steak tartare.

[31:43] It's usually like thinly sliced.

Elliott Kalan

[31:46] When you're out riding with the golden horde and you stick the beef on your saddle.

Dan McCoy

[31:50] I know.

[31:50] I sound so fucking, thinly sliced, you know, steak is usually what I associate with tartare.

[31:57] And this guy was like, like tucking into this big mound of ground beef with like a yolk,

[32:05] an egg yolk cracked in the middle.

[32:07] And I'm like, I'm a pretty adventurous man.

[32:11] And I've eaten raw beef in tartare form.

[32:14] This is grossing me the fuck out right now.

[32:17] Yeah.

[32:18] Anyway, it's not really a story.

[32:20] I just needed to unload that drama onto you guys.

Elliott Kalan

[32:23] No, no, but that was good.

[32:23] That was good.

[32:24] It was very on point for what we're talking about, which is movie theaters.

[32:28] Hey, I think Tartare.

Stuart Wellington

[32:29] Yeah, I think Tartare is, we'll put that in the no column.

[32:33] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[32:33] So Tartare is the sequel to Tar starring Cate Blanchett, right?

[32:36] Where there's two of her.

Dan McCoy

[32:38] We found your twin sister.

[32:40] Then there's my Tartare, where this man hires her to be his personal conductor,

[32:48] and they have a sexual relationship.

[32:49] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[32:50] And don't forget when somebody moves next to her, and it's my neighbor Totaro.

[32:58] Okay, on that note, I think it's time to talk about some of those sponsors,

[33:02] Sportness Silliness.

Dan McCoy

[33:04] Good.

[33:04] I was certainly prepared for it, is the best thing about this being the time that we talk

[33:09] about the sponsors.

[33:10] Here it is.

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[33:45] That sounds great to me because I know that one of the problems I've had with languages

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[34:54] Also, from me, Dan McCoy, there's a jumbotron.

[34:57] Not from me.

[34:58] I'm just the one reading it.

Elliott Kalan

[35:01] Okay.

[35:02] Let me check this out.

[35:02] It really feels like you let us down the garden path when you said from me, Dan McCoy,

[35:06] right at the top.

Dan McCoy

[35:06] Yeah, sorry.

[35:07] Here's a jumbotron for you.

[35:09] You know how Dan says the letters are from listeners like you?

[35:13] Well, that's us.

[35:14] We write all the letters.

[35:16] Not really, of course, but we are the podcast called Listeners Like You.

[35:20] Our podcast is made for listeners by listeners.

[35:24] Brian Fonan and Court Winsett aren't talented enough to make or create anything,

[35:30] but we do a lot of consuming, and we like to listen to music, podcasts, and audiobooks,

[35:34] and then talk about our listening experiences, plus a weird assortment of other topics, too.

[35:41] So, come listen to Listeners Like You every other Friday.

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Stuart Wellington

[36:34] This next J-J-J-Jumbotron is for Trenton.

[36:40] It is from Tanner.

[36:42] Happy birthday, Trento.

[36:45] Hope you, Jeanette, and the baby are making the most of the day.

[36:49] Thanks for being a great big brother and sharing the Flophouse all those years ago.

[36:55] It resolved so many cowboys and aliens questions.

[36:58] And I've laughed every episode since.

[37:01] Stay warm in Norway and hope to see you soon.

[37:05] From your brother, Tanner.

Elliott Kalan

[37:07] Aw.

[37:08] Aw.

[37:08] Very sweet.

[37:09] Very sweet.

[37:10] All right.

[37:11] Time for the sweetness to end and the hard sell to begin.

[37:13] Because there's some Flophouse stuff going on that you need to know about.

[37:16] And you might already know about it.

[37:18] But if you don't know about it, now you're going to know about it.

[37:20] Please don't skip this part.

[37:21] Because I'm telling you the things you've got to know.

[37:22] There won't be a test afterwards unless you count life as a test.

[37:26] Which I do.

[37:27] The Flophouse is just about to go on our long-awaited, eagerly anticipated West Coast tour.

[37:39] We're about to go across the coast.

[37:42] That's the western most.

[37:44] And by across, I mean to four places.

[37:46] That are all mostly in the north and one place in the south.

[37:48] We're going to be on January 24th in Vancouver.

[37:51] Talking about the movie Cobra.

[37:53] On January 25th, we're going to be in Portland.

[37:54] Talking about the movie Cool as Ice.

[37:56] On January 26th, we're going to be in San Francisco.

[37:58] Talking about Geely.

[37:59] And on January 28th, we come home to my home in Los Angeles.

[38:03] And talk about the movie Spawn.

[38:05] We're super excited about these shows.

[38:07] If you haven't been to a Flophouse live show, you should do it.

[38:10] Because they're super fun.

[38:11] If you have been to a Flophouse live show, come to this one.

[38:14] We will probably not be coming back West Coast way too much sooner after this.

[38:18] Because we've done shows out here before.

[38:20] It's time for the Flophouse to explore new pastures, new places to spread our seed, if you will.

[38:26] Our movie seed.

[38:27] Not any other kind.

[38:28] Like Johnny Appleseed.

[38:29] You know, how he was having sex all over the place.

[38:31] Anyway.

[38:32] Go to flophousepodcast.com slash events.

[38:36] And you'll find all the information and links to where you can get tickets.

[38:39] These shows, if you've never been to one, we each do a PowerPoint presentation at the beginning that is very funny.

[38:44] Mine, spoiler alert, is a little more autobiographical than it has been in the past.

[38:48] I'm going to be talking about some of my experiences in the movie selling world.

[38:52] Okay.

[38:54] And I want to learn about my friend.

[38:56] Yeah.

[38:56] And I have no idea what, well, not that much.

[38:58] I have no idea what Dan and Stuart are going to talk about.

[39:00] But Dan showed us one slide from his presentation.

[39:02] And it looks bonkers.

[39:04] So get ready.

[39:07] But then we talk about the movie.

[39:08] And then we take questions from you, the audience.

[39:10] So you get your chance to have your voice heard on the show.

[39:14] We always say hi to everybody afterwards in some way.

[39:17] And we sell merchandise and things like that.

[39:19] It's super fun.

[39:19] We love doing these shows.

[39:20] We love meeting people.

[39:21] We'd love to meet you.

[39:23] So go to flophousepodcast.com slash events.

[39:25] Come to one of our shows.

[39:27] January 24th in Vancouver.

[39:29] January 25th in Portland.

[39:30] January 26th in San Francisco.

[39:32] And January 28th in Los Angeles.

[39:34] That's the Flophouse West Coast Errors Tour.

[39:36] It'll be super fun.

[39:37] I don't know when we're doing another tour again.

[39:39] So take advantage of this opportunity to come see us.

[39:44] If you can't make it at all to one of these shows and you still want to see us where you just don't live close enough,

[39:49] with modern airplanes, everyone lives close enough.

[39:52] But that's fine.

[39:52] Okay.

[39:52] Let's allow it.

[39:53] Wow.

Dan McCoy

[39:55] Maybe they don't want to contribute to the pollution, you know?

Elliott Kalan

[39:58] That's possible.

[39:59] Or the new pollution, the Beck song.

[40:01] I want to remind you that Flop TV may be over in terms of new episodes.

[40:05] But until the end of January, you can still watch the old episodes that were recorded.

[40:09] That's six episode recordings.

[40:11] They're super fun, super funny.

[40:12] We had a great time.

[40:13] Go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com until the end of January.

[40:17] And you'll be able to buy a season pass that gets you a discounted watch of all of those episodes.

[40:23] And we hope you enjoy it.

[40:24] They're really good.

[40:24] And at the end of January, they're going to go away and you're just not going to be able to see them.

[40:28] So take advantage of the chance you have to see us live.

[40:31] Take advantage of the chance you have to see us talking on a video screen.

[40:34] Because after the end of January, you're not going to have that chance for a little while.

[40:40] Ooh, spooky.

Dan McCoy

[40:43] That is spooky.

[40:45] Yeah.

[40:45] Also spooky is the fact that Stuart decided to choose this moment.

Elliott Kalan

[40:49] Literally ghosted us as I was finishing the ad read.

[40:52] Or not the art tour read.

[40:52] He is the one in charge of the mini today.

Dan McCoy

[40:56] And I don't know where he's taking us next.

Elliott Kalan

[40:58] Where do you think?

[40:58] Should we guess?

[40:59] Should we try to figure it out?

[41:01] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[41:02] So we've talked about the vibe of the theater.

[41:07] We've talked about the food.

[41:09] I wonder if there's something about the technical elements, the actual screening.

Elliott Kalan

[41:13] Yeah, maybe he's going to give us a test to become professional projectionists.

[41:16] Or ask us about Dolby sound.

Dan McCoy

[41:18] Digital photography versus...

[41:20] Oh, here he is.

Elliott Kalan

[41:21] Yeah, whether it counts as a movie if it's not shot on...

[41:23] Maybe it doesn't count as a movie if it's not shot on film.

[41:26] Keep it all in.

Stuart Wellington

[41:28] We are back to Only in Theaters.

[41:32] A special Flophouse mini where we talk about the theater-going experience.

[41:35] And specifically, we're brainstorming ideas for our own Flophouse-branded movie theater.

[41:41] Now, since we're going to only have one screen, I think the best thing...

[41:44] And we're all forward-thinking fellows.

[41:46] Mm-hmm.

[41:47] I think that one screen is going to have to be 4DX capable, right, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[41:51] Yep.

[41:51] What everyone wants when they see a movie is to be...

Stuart Wellington

[41:55] It's clearly where the trend is going, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[41:56] Shaking around and get some water in their face.

Stuart Wellington

[41:58] I've never seen a 4DX movie.

[42:00] Have you guys seen a movie in 4DX?

Dan McCoy

[42:03] I saw Moonfall in 4DX.

[42:06] Mm-hmm.

[42:06] I can't remember whether there may have been another one that I can't recall right now.

Elliott Kalan

[42:10] Did you see Top Gun Maverick in 4DX or no?

Dan McCoy

[42:12] No, I saw Top Gun Maverick in another one of their weird made-up formats that Regal has where it's...

[42:20] They project extra stuff on the sides of the walls.

[42:24] That's stupid.

[42:25] So, like...

[42:26] And it's not for all of it, but there's certain ones where it's like, let's, you know, expand your peripheral vision or whatever.

Elliott Kalan

[42:34] Oh, so it's extra footage of the scene.

[42:37] It's not like pop-ups in, like, information or things like that.

Dan McCoy

[42:41] No, no, no.

[42:41] It's not like that.

[42:42] That would be unwatchable.

[42:44] Okay.

[42:44] This is just mildly...

[42:44] Because if I'm not watching Abel Gantz's Napoleon, I don't want a bunch of stuff on the side of the screen.

Elliott Kalan

[42:49] You know?

[42:50] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[42:50] So, can you explain the 4DX experience slightly for those, including me, who don't understand it?

Dan McCoy

[42:58] Well, the whole, like, sort of bank of seats in your row is on hydraulics.

[43:04] So, it can go up and move around.

[43:06] Like, I thought it would just, like, shake a little.

[43:08] But when I saw Moonfall, for instance, we started out in space and the thing was, like, raised up and sort of, like, gently drifting around.

[43:17] Oh, wow.

[43:17] So, we had that feeling of being weightless.

[43:19] And it was actually kind of impressive.

[43:22] And then, if there's any excuse for, like, wetness in a scene, they will shoot water at you.

[43:29] The cleanliness of the water is unknown at this time.

[43:32] I don't like that idea.

Dan McCoy

[43:32] Let's see.

[43:35] There's, like, stuff in the back of your seat that sort of, like, punches your back.

Elliott Kalan

[43:40] You're making it sound wonderful.

[43:42] Every now and then.

[43:43] If it's a scene set in a desert, it'll just blow grit in your face.

Dan McCoy

[43:46] Well, they do have, like, it'll just, like, puffs of air, like, at the eye doctor when they're testing, like, the pressure or whatever.

[43:51] They'll have those, like, air guns.

Elliott Kalan

[43:54] I mean, it sounds a lot like being Viggo Mortensen in Crimes of the Future and having to eat in a weird chair that shakes you around and hurts you.

[44:02] Yeah.

[44:02] Is it like that?

[44:03] Well, I will tell you.

[44:04] That's the only way his body can process that crap, dude.

[44:06] Yeah.

[44:06] Until he starts eating plastic.

Dan McCoy

[44:08] Yeah.

[44:08] No.

[44:09] Spoiler alert.

[44:11] Legitimate good film should be watched in 4DX.

[44:14] However, there are certain films for which it is an additive experience.

[44:18] And Moonfall was one of them.

[44:19] Yeah.

[44:19] Because it was like, I'm watching a big, dumb movie, and I want this to turn it into an amusement park ride.

[44:24] For me, please.

[44:25] And it did.

Elliott Kalan

[44:26] As opposed to the you hurt my feelings 4DX experience.

[44:29] Yeah.

[44:29] Which feels like it would be distracting.

Stuart Wellington

[44:31] Well, you guys latched right onto the idea.

[44:34] Because we are, since we're going to have only a single screen and we're not always going to have big movies, we might do some repertory screenings.

[44:41] How would we use the 4DX experience to translate to these past best picture winners?

[44:49] It's turned into a game somehow.

[44:51] No country for old men.

[44:52] How would we?

Dan McCoy

[44:53] Well, obviously, when people get that pressure thing in their head.

[44:57] Oh, okay.

[44:58] The air gets puffed onto them.

Elliott Kalan

[44:59] Yeah.

[44:59] They think they're about to die.

[45:00] Sure, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[45:01] Yeah, so you get the whole Anton Chigurh.

[45:03] Anything else?

[45:04] Maybe blow grit in our face?

Elliott Kalan

[45:05] I guess when he's grit or when he's giving the water to the guy in the desert, maybe it sprays some water at you.

[45:11] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[45:12] There's not a lot of water in the movie.

[45:13] Yeah.

[45:13] Yeah, yeah.

[45:14] More of a blowper in.

[45:15] Pretty dry movie, yeah.

[45:16] I guess when Anton Chigurh blows that thing up, like your seats shake or something, you know?

[45:21] Sure, certainly.

[45:23] Oh, when you walk out with a haircut, yeah.

[45:26] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[45:26] Yes, that's right.

[45:28] That's the interactive experience.

[45:29] Everyone gets a dumb haircut.

Elliott Kalan

[45:33] Forrest Gump.

[45:35] Oh, boy.

[45:36] Well, you know it's going to blow a feather in your face.

[45:37] That's got to happen.

Stuart Wellington

[45:38] Oh, yeah, totally.

[45:40] You got to blow puffs of like chocolate smells in your face.

[45:43] Are we allowed to expand into more just sort of –

[45:46] It's our movie theater, Dan.

[45:48] The 4DX is in our control.

Dan McCoy

[45:49] Okay, so we can do more like William Castle style shenanigans.

Elliott Kalan

[45:53] Well, it's basically like there's the scene in Kentucky Fried Movie with scents around where the guy is literally just –

[45:59] someone stands behind him and shakes him around and hits him and things like that.

[46:02] Yeah, shrimp and shit.

Stuart Wellington

[46:03] The scene where they're on the shrimp boat in the storm, that's just begging for water.

Elliott Kalan

[46:07] Yep, yep.

[46:08] Water in your face.

[46:09] Yeah, definitely.

[46:10] And when he meets all those historical figures.

[46:12] He splashes through the reflecting pool.

[46:13] That's water, right?

[46:14] Yeah.

[46:14] Yeah, that's water.

[46:15] And when he has to pee, you have to pee.

Stuart Wellington

[46:18] Okay.

[46:19] So I think that's Forrest Gump covered.

[46:21] The next Best Picture winner, Out of Africa.

Elliott Kalan

[46:24] Not having seen the movie, I believe –

[46:28] Now, we've talked about this.

Stuart Wellington

[46:29] We still have not rectified that.

[46:31] None of us have seen Out of Africa yet.

[46:33] No.

Dan McCoy

[46:34] As we mentioned in a previous episode, I'm not sure it's a real movie.

[46:38] Yeah.

[46:38] I think all I've ever – I assume it's a movie about lounging on the savannah and looking at lions in the distance because I think that's the only footage I've ever seen from Out of Africa.

[46:49] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[46:49] I mean, the weird thing is it's called Out of Africa, but it seems like the movie spends a lot of time in Africa.

[46:54] Yeah.

[46:54] The poster servo are ours.

[46:56] Yeah.

[46:57] Okay.

[46:58] Let's just assume an elephant steps on you at some point and it shakes you around.

Stuart Wellington

[47:02] Okay.

[47:02] How about Patton?

Elliott Kalan

[47:04] The movie Patton.

[47:06] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[47:07] Well, of course, like –

[47:08] Also explosions.

[47:09] Yeah.

[47:09] A hand needs – a robot hand needs to come out of the street in front of you and slap you.

[47:13] Mm-hmm.

[47:14] Okay.

[47:15] Yeah, sure.

[47:16] So you can really feel the indignity.

Stuart Wellington

[47:18] I think I saved the best for last, though.

[47:20] Okay.

[47:21] Now that we have – I think Patton's pretty straightforward.

[47:24] Sound of music.

[47:26] Sound of music.

Elliott Kalan

[47:26] This has been on my mind lately because my wife has been exposing my dunger son to Sound of Music to see what he thinks about it.

[47:33] And he likes music, right?

[47:35] He likes music.

[47:35] And he does like music.

[47:36] He likes music and he'll watch any cartoon, but live action movies are kind of a harder sell for him.

[47:42] And they were watching it and he kept saying, this movie is kind of weird.

[47:45] Maybe it's a little boring.

[47:47] And my wife would say, do you want me to turn it off?

[47:48] He goes, no, we can keep watching it.

[47:50] So he still – he really wanted to see the puppet scene was really what it comes down to.

Dan McCoy

[47:54] That's kind of my attitude to Sound of Music.

[47:57] I'm like, yeah, it's kind of boring.

[48:00] It's also kind of compelling.

Elliott Kalan

[48:02] Yeah.

[48:02] So maybe during that – that's a big question.

Stuart Wellington

[48:05] So you're exposing him to – you're going to start with Sound of Music.

[48:08] Then it's going to be Sound of Metal and then Sound of Freedom.

Elliott Kalan

[48:12] Exactly.

[48:13] Because he needs to know the truth.

[48:14] It's time to red pill this kid.

[48:16] Yeah, exactly.

[48:18] Well, we're going to start with Sound of Music and then we're going to go to Cabaret.

[48:21] And I'm just – I want every Nazi musical I can get.

[48:24] Oh, wow.

[48:24] Okay.

[48:25] Yeah, get them to.

[48:25] Yeah.

[48:27] I know those are not Nazi movies.

[48:28] They're movies – they're musicals with Nazis in them.

[48:30] You know?

[48:31] So then I guess it's going to be Listomania.

[48:33] It will be the third movie that we show them.

[48:34] Sure.

[48:35] Wow.

Dan McCoy

[48:37] What was the question?

[48:38] Something about that?

[48:38] Sound of Music 40X experience.

Stuart Wellington

[48:41] I mean, you got to – Hills are a lot.

[48:43] Yeah, they're a lot.

[48:44] You got to spin around, right?

[48:45] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[48:45] Yeah, you're shaking because those hills are standing on her a lot.

[48:48] Well, there's so much like beautiful landscape photography that I feel like you can have them – the seas kind of moving around a little bit like you're flying through it, I suppose.

[48:58] Like you're in Soarin'.

[49:00] Like you're on the ride, Soarin'.

[49:02] Yeah.

[49:04] I mean, Sound of Music is kind of the Soarin' of movies in some ways, you know.

Dan McCoy

[49:08] And Soarin' Kierkegaard is sort of the Soarin' of philosophers.

Elliott Kalan

[49:14] In that it feels like you're flying through the California landscape, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[49:17] Wait, what's Soarin'?

[49:18] Why are you saying this?

[49:19] Do you not know Soarin'?

[49:21] No.

[49:22] Now I feel like you're fucking with me.

[49:24] What's going on?

[49:25] So Soarin' is the bad guy in the Lord of the Rings.

[49:26] I know that.

[49:27] I'm surprised you don't know that.

Dan McCoy

[49:28] It's a Disney attraction where basically you just get in like these seats that, you know, are held up from the ceiling on these like things.

[49:36] Like the Batman roller coaster.

[49:37] And there's a projection in front of you, like 360.

[49:40] So it's like you're soaring over the landscape.

[49:43] Oh.

[49:43] Yeah.

[49:43] The beautiful landscape.

[49:43] You're like flying around.

Elliott Kalan

[49:44] Yeah.

[49:45] Yeah.

[49:45] Okay, that makes sense.

[49:46] I was delighted that Dan referenced it though because I was like, yeah, let's run to this one.

[49:52] That's something I didn't expect to come out of Dan, but it fits.

[49:55] Disney attraction?

Dan McCoy

[49:55] Yeah, of course.

[49:57] I went to Disney World a couple of years ago.

Stuart Wellington

[50:00] Dan, the resident Disney adult here.

Elliott Kalan

[50:02] Yep, I guess.

[50:03] You saw –

Dan McCoy

[50:03] And that I've been to Disneyland and Disney World twice as an adult, I guess.

Elliott Kalan

[50:08] It was because you saw a Florida project and it really made Disney World look appealing and exciting, right?

[50:13] I had a great time.

[50:14] You're like, I can escape from my life going to Disney World.

Dan McCoy

[50:16] I went with our friends, John and Mary, who are like real like, you know, like planning nerds.

[50:22] So they, you know, like we knew all of the things that we had to do to actually get to do like rides and do things efficiently.

[50:28] So a lot of the stress that normally I think people associate with Disney was taken off the plate because I was with those in the know, you know?

Elliott Kalan

[50:37] Yeah, I think the secret that – the heck I've been able to figure out – maybe, Dan, you can figure out to do this the next time you go to Disney Park is be related by marriage to someone who works at Disney so they can get you free passes to the park.

[50:47] It takes a lot of stress off of feeling like you need to do everything.

[50:50] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[50:51] Can you get like a flash pass or some shit?

[50:54] There's like lightning rings and stuff for different rides.

Dan McCoy

[50:56] You know, it's all – it's, you know, it's all just a way to like let's get more money out of you, you know, so you have a better experience than the other guy.

[51:04] Then you feel kind of guilty about it but you're also like, well, what are you going to do?

[51:07] Like I want to have a better experience.

Stuart Wellington

[51:09] I feel like Griffin Newman was explaining his like a recent trip to Disney and like I'm sure he talked to me for like an hour about this and my brain doesn't process any of it.

[51:22] Send him my way.

Elliott Kalan

[51:23] I mean, knowing Griffin, it was all concise, relevant information.

[51:27] Yeah, no digressions at all.

[51:29] No digressions at all, yeah.

[51:30] Okay.

[51:31] So, yeah, for Sound of Music, you're flying around a lot.

[51:33] We did it, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[51:34] I think the hills are alive with the Sound of Music.

[51:37] Okay, so now that we're all forward-thinking guys, let's take a step out of our own movie theater.

[51:43] Let's talk about theater in general.

[51:44] Let's talk about how movie theaters and actual theater theaters –

[51:51] Legit theaters, the legit stage, yeah.

[51:53] Now, how can the stage experience inform movie theaters or how can movie theaters – how should movie theaters inform, say, a Broadway show experience?

[52:05] Other than the most obvious one, I don't know if anybody's been to a Broadway show here.

[52:10] Those seats are too dang small.

[52:12] They're too tiny.

[52:13] They are very small.

Elliott Kalan

[52:14] Most of those theaters are old houses that are trying to, one, pack a lot of seats into a small space and also were made for smaller people at a time when people were generally smaller.

[52:22] They are too small, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[52:23] I thought you were going to talk about how the two experiences appear to be converging in that, you know, if you go to a Broadway show, most of them are based on movies and, like, a lot of them have video elements in them.

[52:33] Yeah, they're all Beetlejuice at this point.

Elliott Kalan

[52:35] Like, there's something – I really want to take my kids to a Broadway show and at this point it's like –

[52:41] Everything's Beetlejuice.

[52:42] Everything's all this – everything's – I went – look, I'm trying to go see – I'm trying to find a place where I can just grope a horrible congresswoman.

[52:50] And all I can find is Beetlejuice.

[52:52] That's the only thing I can find.

[52:53] And that's a reference to a scandal that Lauren Bovert had a couple months ago, I guess.

Stuart Wellington

[52:57] I did, like, the first Broadway show I went to post, you know, the reopening after COVID was The Lion King, which was incredible.

[53:08] It was amazing.

[53:09] We were seated very close to the front.

[53:11] We were right on one of the rows, so I almost got stepped on by an elephant.

[53:14] It was amazing.

[53:16] But it was also awesome to see a guy who looked very much like a Midwestern dad there with what also looked very much like a sex worker or just an inappropriately dressed, much younger woman sitting in the front row.

[53:30] And I just love the – I would love to be a fly on the wall in the conversation of this guy hiring a sex worker to go see The Lion King with him.

Elliott Kalan

[53:37] Yeah, it's a little like Steve Buscemi taking that prostitute to see Jose Feliciano in Fargo, right?

Dan McCoy

[53:41] I feel like every time Audrey and I go to, like, sort of an anniversary-level dinner, like a truly nice restaurant, there's always at least one sort of couple in the room where I'm like, is this a sex worker situation?

Elliott Kalan

[54:00] I feel like it shows how innocent I am that I never – when I'm in those – my wife and I used to play a game called daughter or second wife and never occurred to us that it would be a sex worker.

[54:10] But it was always like, that man is 30 years older than the woman he's with.

[54:13] Is that his daughter or is that his second wife?

[54:15] We've got to try to figure it out before the end of the meal.

[54:17] And then you realize –

Stuart Wellington

[54:18] Yeah, if you don't, your meal – if you do, your meal is free.

[54:21] Your meal is free.

Elliott Kalan

[54:21] And if you don't, you have to work in the kitchens for the rest of your life.

[54:24] Oh, no.

Dan McCoy

[54:25] Well, there's no way anything he's saying is as delightful to her as her reaction.

[54:31] So this could be –

[54:32] She is so into him, yeah.

[54:34] An exchange of goods for services.

Stuart Wellington

[54:37] Yeah, I mean, it's not like they have similar, like, interests.

[54:41] I mean, he looks like he really loves Yellowstone.

Elliott Kalan

[54:47] And she's more into getting paid.

Dan McCoy

[54:51] Being able to live a life that has some freedom aside from this man.

[54:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[54:56] Obviously, yeah, yeah.

[54:57] I mean, this is in no way an indictment of that.

[54:59] No, I want to make that very clear.

[55:01] Yeah.

[55:02] So we're talking about the theater experience.

Elliott Kalan

[55:04] Only of the age difference.

[55:05] Yeah, so I think –

[55:06] I also would like those experiences to be a little bit different in terms of content.

[55:11] I was saying I'd like to take my kids to a Broadway show,

[55:13] but I want to take them to something that is not just a stage version of something they've seen in the movies.

[55:18] But I have seen Broadway shows where they use video elements in really cool ways, and that's neat.

[55:24] But in the movie theater experience, I wonder if there's a way to make it –

Stuart Wellington

[55:32] Like if you go see Megan in the theater, you're going to have, like, a dancer dressed up like Megan dancing.

[55:38] I don't want to turn into cats or something.

Elliott Kalan

[55:41] Yeah, it turns into, like, kitsch at that point.

[55:43] As opposed to art.

[55:44] And I also – and I don't want to do anything too immersive because I don't want that.

[55:49] I don't need the performers interacting with me during the movie or the show.

[55:53] No, thank you.

Stuart Wellington

[55:54] Sleep no more?

[55:56] I don't think so.

[55:57] Sleep yes more.

[55:58] I think I'll sleep less.

[55:59] Thank you very much.

Dan McCoy

[56:00] I have been to a few screenings that I've enjoyed that, you know, they do this sometime where there's a live performance of the score or some accompanying event.

[56:08] Yeah, actually, I've had some great experience with that.

Stuart Wellington

[56:11] Like an extra saxophone player just cranking it?

[56:13] Yeah, that's right.

[56:15] Like if I went to see Lost Boys and they had an extra fucking saxophone player, that'd be great.

[56:20] Or like when I went to see –

Dan McCoy

[56:21] One of those drummers you can hire for your wedding reception.

Stuart Wellington

[56:23] Yes.

[56:24] Yeah.

[56:24] Which I thought was ridiculous the first time I went there and I'm like, you have a DJ and an extra drummer?

[56:29] And then that dude started wailing.

[56:30] I'm like, hell yes.

[56:31] Thank you.

Elliott Kalan

[56:32] When the Guy Mad movie Brand Upon the Brain was in theaters, they would do – they did this whole big thing where it's a silent movie, but they would have live Foley artists in the theater.

[56:43] And they had live musicians and you had a celebrity narrator who was reading the narration.

[56:48] And that was a really cool way to do it.

[56:49] But I wouldn't want that for every movie.

[56:50] Like I don't need to see the Foley artists working for – if I go to see – I don't know.

[56:56] Like what's a movie that's out now?

[56:59] The Holdovers?

[57:00] I don't need to see the guy with the shoes crunching on gravel to make it sound like walking through snow.

Stuart Wellington

[57:06] Oh, man.

[57:06] You know, that would be a great 40X one where they get like fish smells and you smell Jim Beam.

[57:11] Oh, God.

[57:12] They would rule.

[57:12] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[57:12] You just – the wafts of liquor-scented breath are just puffed out at you at different points.

[57:18] Man, I love that fucking movie.

Dan McCoy

[57:19] Yeah, I like that movie.

[57:20] This is reminding me that a former coworker of mine at The Daily Show, Joe Opio, who's from Uganda, was telling us that a lot of –

[57:30] films in Africa that were from other countries, they would have sort of a local man, like basically like a DJ, like with a microphone, sort of narrating the film and embellishing the film rather than having like, you know, like subtitles or dubs or whatever.

[57:46] It would just be like, all right, this guy is going to tell you the story and like really like embellish it however he wants to.

[57:52] And that sounds amazing.

Elliott Kalan

[57:53] It does remind me of those movie posters you see from – I don't remember where and which African nation.

[58:00] Where they take something like Mrs. Doubtfire and all the characters are covered in blood.

[58:03] Yeah.

[58:03] You know, it's like the embellishments go a little too far.

[58:06] Or it will be like Dumb and Dumber and like a xenomorph is bursting out of one of their chests or something.

Stuart Wellington

[58:13] Now, we've – you've also touched on like the other part of this question as we're all forward-thinking people and we're thinking about the future of both cinema and the stage.

[58:24] There have been a lot of stage adaptations that were once movies and movies that were once stage shows.

[58:31] Mean Girls is in theaters now and it's a movie based on a Broadway show based on a movie.

[58:35] Yeah, just like it was a real hairspray switch.

[58:38] So what do you – is there a show that you think should be turned into a movie or a movie that you think is desperate to be made into a Broadway show?

Elliott Kalan

[58:49] I just realized the first of those was probably Little Shop of Horrors, right?

[58:53] Was that the first movie that was made into a theater musical that was then turned into a movie of that musical?

[58:58] Oh, maybe.

[58:59] I bet – I don't know.

[59:00] Write in, folks.

[59:02] Audiences, write in.

[59:03] But yeah, so what's one that we think would work that way or should work that way you're saying?

Stuart Wellington

Elliott Kalan

[59:09] Okay.

[59:10] Oh, boy.

Stuart Wellington

[59:11] I mean, I've – you know, I've seen a few musicals.

[59:14] I wouldn't be surprised if something like Ann Juliet were to be turned into a movie because it is – I mean, I guess it is a lot of pop music.

[59:21] But I feel like it's peppy.

[59:23] It's bright.

[59:25] Young people like that stuff, right?

[59:27] You guys seen this Dear Evan –

Elliott Kalan

[59:28] You guys seen this Dear Evan Hansen play?

[59:30] They could probably make a movie out of that, but they've got to keep the main guy.

[59:33] They've got to keep it.

Stuart Wellington

[59:34] I feel like the musical based on the movie Dear Evan Hansen.

[59:38] That's where it's really going to kick off.

Elliott Kalan

[59:39] I want to see a musical about the movie being made of Dear Evan Hansen.

[59:44] And all the songs are about like, am I too old for this part?

[59:47] That kind of stuff.

[59:47] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[59:48] Oh, man.

[59:48] That would be great.

Dan McCoy

[59:50] Digitally de-age me.

[59:52] I'm trying to look up.

[59:54] At one point, I was keeping a list of stuff I'd seen in the theater, but I –

[59:58] I would love to see –

[59:59] You just saw Merrily We Roll Along.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:00] Should they make a movie out of that?

Dan McCoy

[1:00:01] No, actually.

[1:00:02] Audrey went without me.

[1:00:04] That was a friend.

[1:00:04] Wow.

[1:00:05] Guess you didn't roll along.

[1:00:06] Wow.

[1:00:07] I had seen it.

[1:00:08] I had seen it recently, though, off-Broadway.

[1:00:11] Not the –

[1:00:11] Did you see it with Daniel Radcliffe?

[1:00:12] I didn't see the Daniel Radcliffe.

[1:00:14] She did.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:14] There have been a lot of revivals of Merrily We Roll Along in the past few years.

[1:00:18] Yeah.

[1:00:19] That's the Sondheim revival du jour of the moment.

[1:00:24] But I think like I've talked –

[1:00:25] I don't remember.

[1:00:26] I've talked about it on the podcast.

[1:00:27] There's a play I saw years ago called Mr. Burns by Ann Washburn that I think –

[1:00:30] Oh, yeah.

[1:00:31] It's a great experience in a theater, but I think that would be a really cool movie to see too.

[1:00:35] But I'd kind of want like – I would want a normal director to do the first two parts and then like Ken Russell to do the last part.

[1:00:43] You know?

[1:00:44] But as for movies that can be turned into musical plays, that's a good question.

[1:00:49] What have I seen that that would work as?

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:50] I mean, theoretically, like if you're seriously approaching it, you need to find something that has managed to capture some kind of cultural zeitgeist on some level.

[1:00:59] Right?

[1:00:59] Not just a – like it has to like –

[1:01:02] Part of what makes Mean Girls work is that it like hit at a very specific time.

[1:01:07] Yes, I think so.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:08] I mean, you never know.

[1:01:09] There are definitely – I mean, like I said, Little Shop of Horrors.

[1:01:11] Like I guess the zeitgeist was people – like camp being something that people were more open to, you know?

[1:01:17] Evil dentists.

[1:01:18] And evil dentists, yeah.

[1:01:20] But then you see – there's like – I didn't see the Broadway show of like Tootsie, but that was one of those ones where it was like this does not feel like the right time for this show.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:28] That was interesting.

[1:01:29] I saw that one because –

[1:01:31] Because you love the movie.

[1:01:32] No, for some reason like The Daily Show got an opportunity for like just like free tickets for people who wanted to go.

[1:01:40] And so I was like, yeah, sure.

[1:01:42] Why not?

[1:01:42] Yeah.

[1:01:42] Great.

[1:01:43] Free Broadway show.

[1:01:45] And it was a lot better than I kind of imagined it might be.

[1:01:48] And I think that part of it was like it did engage with the fact like, hey, it's weird that this guy is like aggrieved and like dresses as a woman to try and get a role and steals it from actual woman out there in the world.

[1:02:00] Like the movie – you know, like the movie is from another time and is trying to do a different lesson.

[1:02:05] It's like, oh, if you walk in a woman's shoes, you know, maybe you'll learn something.

[1:02:09] And it's ignoring this other stuff that the play then did sort of work on.

[1:02:13] I don't think it quite cracked it, but it came closer than I expected.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:16] Who was the lead in the stage show?

[1:02:18] Was it the guy who played original Greg on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend?

[1:02:22] Yeah.

[1:02:23] That's cool.

[1:02:25] Okay.

[1:02:25] So let's go back.

[1:02:27] Now that we've talked a lot about theater stuff, let's cycle back to the original premise, which is we have all – Dan has inherited a movie theater and we now have to run it.

[1:02:36] What job would each of us be responsible for?

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:41] Dan, I see you at the snack bar because you like food.

[1:02:44] Wow.

[1:02:44] You like to cook.

[1:02:46] And also, in theory, you should be front of house, but I feel like you will get easily flustered at the front of house.

[1:02:53] I will get flustered.

[1:02:53] Whereas as the snack bar, I think you can also like really criticize people for what they're buying.

[1:03:00] And I think you can be sarcastic too.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:02] Okay.

[1:03:03] True.

[1:03:03] I will accept this if, you know, in this constructed reality, like there's a bit more of a short order cook element than just the regular snack bar element.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:12] We've got a half kitchen.

[1:03:13] And also, do we have a bar?

[1:03:15] Is it that kind of theater?

[1:03:16] Because otherwise –

[1:03:17] Yeah.

[1:03:17] I mean, we should, right?

[1:03:18] That's where the money's at.

[1:03:19] Okay.

[1:03:20] So Dan will do that.

[1:03:21] Obviously, he has the most experience.

[1:03:22] He's not in ticket sales.

[1:03:22] Yeah.

[1:03:23] I think Stewart's –

[1:03:24] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:24] He's the most experienced serving alcohol to people.

[1:03:28] Yep.

[1:03:28] I think Stewart's going to be in the ticket booth.

[1:03:30] I'll be operating the projection probably.

[1:03:34] Yeah, right?

[1:03:35] Because that way I can yell things at the audience while they're watching it.

[1:03:38] So who's going to handle the program?

Dan McCoy

[1:03:39] Well, that's the thing.

[1:03:39] We've got to split up the programming duties because I think we're going to fight for it.

[1:03:42] Oh, we all do that.

[1:03:43] Yeah, yeah.

[1:03:44] Elliot can – maybe we have focuses.

[1:03:47] Elliot's more in the classics programming and –

[1:03:50] That's weird.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:50] Why would he do that?

[1:03:52] For the same reason Dan's running the bar.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:55] Experience, yeah.

[1:03:56] We want to make him feel like he's older.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:01] Dan would have his cheeky Wednesdays where he just goes cheeky.

[1:04:05] Tinto brass movies.

[1:04:07] Tinto's Thursdays, yeah.

[1:04:10] Tinto Tuesdays is the –

[1:04:12] There you go.

[1:04:12] Tinto Tuesdays, yeah.

[1:04:13] Come on, come on, come on.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:14] It's the only theater I can imagine where Dan is like,

[1:04:17] dear Mr. Brass, we're holding a retrospective of your work.

[1:04:21] Please come live at our theater.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:24] Yeah, because we would have a –

[1:04:26] we'd all sleep in one giant bed with little caps on.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:29] I've seen his cameos in his own pictures.

[1:04:31] He seems like a gross man.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:33] Really?

[1:04:33] The guy who's almost entirely shots of up women's skirts based filmography?

[1:04:38] Yeah, sure, okay.

[1:04:40] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:42] So I guess now that we've divided that up,

[1:04:44] I think the only thing left to do is to open this sucker, Dan.

[1:04:47] Oh, wow.

[1:04:47] So you just need to have a relative –

[1:04:48] I know we're committed, but –

[1:04:49] A long-lost relative die and leave you the movie theater.

[1:04:53] All right.

[1:04:54] So, wow.

[1:04:55] So this was a pretty informative episode, and I think everybody learned something.

[1:05:00] Thank you so much for tuning in.

[1:05:01] This has been on Flophouse Mini.

[1:05:03] We're part of the Maximum Fun Podcast Network that has a ton of really good podcasts on it.

[1:05:08] We have an upcoming tour, which you should come see because, as Elliot put it, thanks to the way that airplanes work, you can go anywhere you want.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:19] Wow.

[1:05:19] That's putting a lot of pressure on people.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:21] Distance no longer exists.

[1:05:22] We have crushed it.

[1:05:23] It is now – the world is your oyster.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:25] Financial issues involved.

[1:05:27] I'm on your side.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:28] That's true.

[1:05:30] Now, this show has been edited and produced by Mr. Howell Doughty.

[1:05:35] That's Alex Smith.

[1:05:36] He's Howell Doughty on various social media platforms.

[1:05:39] He's the best.

[1:05:40] He was my best man at my wedding.

[1:05:41] I love him.

[1:05:43] What a credit.

[1:05:44] I mean, it's a pretty unique credit, dude.

[1:05:46] He's top of the call sheet above us.

[1:05:50] So for the Flophouse Podcast, I have been your ticket taker, Stuart Wellington.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:56] I've been your snack bar coordinator, Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:00] And I'm the projectionist, Elliot Kalin, saying, quiet down there.

[1:06:03] I'm the only one who's allowed to talk during the movie.

[1:06:05] Bye.

[1:06:11] Maximum Fun.

S5

[1:06:13] A worker-owned network.

[1:06:14] Of artist-owned shows.

[1:06:16] Supported.

[1:06:16] Directly.

[1:06:17] By you.

FH Mini 97 - The Theatrical Experience

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