Ep.#414 - Kangaroo Jack

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] Hi, floppers. Before we start our regular nonsense, we wanted to make sure you knew the Flophouse is going on a four-city West Coast tour this January.

[0:08] It's the Flophouse Errors Tour, the biggest event in pop culture entertainment this year, probably.

[0:14] You can see us in Vancouver on Wednesday, January 24th at the Rio Theater.

[0:19] In Portland on Thursday, January 25th at the Aladdin Theater.

[0:22] In San Francisco on Friday, January 26th at Cobb's Comedy Club as part of San Francisco Sketch Fest.

[0:29] And in Los Angeles on Sunday, January 28th at the Regent Theater.

[0:32] For tickets, go to flophousepodcast.com slash events.

[0:36] Again, that's flophousepodcast.com slash events.

[0:40] The Flophouse Live. It's like the podcast, but you can smell us.

[0:43] And now, without further ado, our regular nonsense.

Stuart Wellington

[0:46] Let's see. Do I have a hot one? You know it, bitch. Fire it up, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[0:52] Dan, the man said fire it up. Fire it up.

[0:55] All right. Okay. On this episode, we discuss Kangaroo Jack.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00] So wait, is that the thing where you put your hands in the, like, pocket of your hoodie,

[1:05] and then you use your really strong legs to, like, manipulate your dingus?

Elliott Kalan

[1:12] I guess that was the hot one.

[1:17] So, you know, now we're going to do the hot one.

Dan McCoy

[1:43] Hey, everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[1:45] Hey, Dan. It's me, Stuart Wellington, your old pal.

[1:48] Yeah. Good to see you.

Elliott Kalan

[1:49] Hi, Dan and Stuart. I didn't mean to interrupt your one-on-one conversation,

[1:53] but I'm Elliot, the other co-host of the show.

[1:55] Oh, hey, look. He's on the computer.

Dan McCoy

[1:57] He's like a little guy inside a box.

Elliott Kalan

[2:00] I mean, even in real life, I'm a little guy, so it's—

[2:03] Yeah, and kind of in real life—

[2:04] Yeah, but no one puts you in a box.

Stuart Wellington

[2:04] And, like, we're all in people's computers, which is what phones are, right?

[2:08] Mm-hmm. Pocket computers.

[2:10] Mm-hmm.

[2:10] Well, here we are at the old house.

Elliott Kalan

[2:13] This is the Flophouse, the show where we describe things everybody knows about

[2:17] as if it's a new thing that we're in Crete.

[2:20] As if we've arrived from another planet.

Dan McCoy

[2:22] Yeah.

[2:23] No, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[2:27] And I'll say something.

[2:28] Normally, on the Flophouse, we watch a newer bad movie.

[2:32] Sure.

[2:32] Early on, this was a way to sort of set us apart from, you know,

[2:37] like Mystery Science Theater, say, had covered all of the classic bad movies

[2:40] and there have been hundreds of books about bad movies

[2:43] and how hilarious bad movies are.

[2:46] I'm just saying, we didn't invent it.

[2:46] Was that a ghost talking about how funny bad movies are?

[2:49] Yeah.

[2:50] So, you know, for a while, we focused on the new stuff,

[2:53] which also set us apart from other bad movie podcasts, too.

[2:56] You know, it was a branding thing.

[2:58] But now, during the strike, we went back to some older bad movies

[3:02] and we're like, hey, this is fun.

[3:04] So, we figured, let's do it more often.

[3:06] Why not?

[3:07] You know?

Stuart Wellington

[3:07] We ran up the fire pole to the suits in charge of the Flophouse

[3:11] and we're like, can we do this?

Dan McCoy

[3:12] Turned out to be us.

[3:13] Yeah.

[3:14] It was bought in the room and...

[3:16] Wow.

[3:17] By us.

[3:18] So, today we're talking about Kangaroo Jack,

[3:21] a movie that we have often referenced on the Flophouse.

[3:25] I don't know whether any of us had seen it.

[3:28] Had you seen it?

[3:28] I had not seen it.

[3:29] Have you seen it?

Elliott Kalan

[3:29] I remembered the trailers when they came out

[3:31] and I remembered the scandal when it turned out

[3:33] the trailers were inaccurate representations of the film.

[3:35] Was there something memorable about the trailer for Kangaroo Jack?

[3:38] Well, Ana de Armas was in the trailer, but...

[3:39] She was not in Kangaroo Jack.

[3:41] Yeah, it was originally called Kangaroo Ana de Armas.

[3:44] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[3:46] Yeah, the trailer famously made a big deal out of a rap in Kangaroo.

Elliott Kalan

[3:52] Yeah, it was Kangaroo forward.

[3:54] I don't think so.

[3:55] As we'll see when Stuart does the summary,

[3:57] there is one scene in which a character hallucinates a talking kangaroo

[4:00] and the trailers used almost entirely moments from that scene

[4:05] to make it appear as if the movie was about a talking kangaroo

[4:07] when it's really a mob buddy comedy.

Dan McCoy

[4:11] Well, and this is not the only kind of bizarre thing

[4:14] about the production of Kangaroo Jack.

[4:15] The other thing is, of course,

[4:17] the oft-told tale of how it started out as an R-rated mob comedy.

[4:22] Yeah.

[4:22] And then...

[4:23] Which, as we have learned this year,

[4:26] I am a huge fan of.

[4:27] Huge fan of.

Stuart Wellington

[4:28] The problem with it was there were not mafia mamas in it.

Elliott Kalan

[4:31] What if this was called Kangaroo Mama?

[4:32] It was about a kangaroo who took over the mafia,

[4:35] but it's also a mom.

Stuart Wellington

[4:36] I would love it, Elliot.

[4:37] Who would be playing the kangaroo in this case?

[4:39] Oh, Toni Collette, of course.

[4:41] Yeah, she's got the range.

[4:42] And she's Australian, isn't she?

[4:43] Yeah, I think so.

[4:44] So it all works out.

Dan McCoy

[4:46] Yeah, but that version of the movie...

Stuart Wellington

[4:47] Guys, if I heard Toni Collette speaking in her real accent,

[4:50] I think my head would explode.

Elliott Kalan

[4:52] I wouldn't accept it.

[4:53] No, I wouldn't accept it.

[4:54] The same way, I refuse to watch any videos

[4:56] of the guy who plays the gangster on Barry

[4:59] speaking with his real voice because...

[5:01] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[5:02] I don't want the illusion to be broken.

[5:04] I never want to know what his real voice sounds like.

Stuart Wellington

[5:07] The gangster with a memorable name.

Dan McCoy

[5:09] But as I was saying,

[5:10] the original R-rated cut of Kangaroo Jack

[5:14] did not play particularly well.

[5:17] I can't even imagine what was in it

Elliott Kalan

[5:19] if there was an R-rated cut.

[5:21] I can't imagine because it's such a childish movie

[5:23] from start to finish.

[5:25] Completely.

Stuart Wellington

[5:25] Well, other than some inappropriate...

Elliott Kalan

[5:28] Other than inappropriate jokes.

Stuart Wellington

[5:29] I think there's been some childish movies

[5:31] that are R-rated.

[5:33] So I guess this is a plea.

[5:36] I mean, we have a little bit of reach with our show,

[5:39] and I think it's best that we use it for good.

[5:42] In this case, if you have access to the R-rated cut of

[5:45] Kangaroo Jack, you have to send it to us, please.

[5:48] If you want to send that to us.

Elliott Kalan

[5:50] This is right.

[5:51] This is...

[5:51] Now that we know that The Day the Clown Cried

[5:53] will probably be seen in some form,

[5:55] I'm not as interested in that anymore.

[5:56] So I want to see the R-rated Kangaroo Jack.

[5:59] I want to know.

[5:59] According to Wikipedia,

[6:00] it originally included cursing, sex, and violence.

[6:03] Sex where?

[6:04] Where would it have fit into this movie

[6:05] between Jerry O'Connell and Estella Warren?

Dan McCoy

[6:07] Seeing as this version already,

[6:09] like still has a wet t-shirt scene of Estella Warren,

[6:14] at which moment in the thing,

[6:16] I texted a GIF of Dom DeMillo from Kangaroo...

[6:20] I'm sorry, Kangaroo.

[6:21] Don DeLillo?

Elliott Kalan

[6:22] Kangaroo...

[6:23] Kangaroo Jack star Don DeLillo.

[6:25] The novels weren't working out that well.

[6:28] He needed to pay some bills.

Dan McCoy

[6:29] He took the role of the kangaroo.

[6:31] Guys, I almost said kangaroo bang bang

[6:33] when I meant comedy bang bang.

Elliott Kalan

[6:35] Andy Daly's character...

[6:35] It was originally called kangaroo bang bang

[6:37] because the sex scene was with the kangaroo.

Dan McCoy

[6:39] I texted Andy Daly's character saying something for daddy

[6:42] to Stuart.

[6:44] Yeah.

[6:45] Because it is wild to me

[6:46] that they made this kid's cut of the movie

[6:49] but kept in the Estella Warren

[6:51] in a wet undershirt scene.

[6:53] But anyway, I mean, you know,

[6:56] better that than violence

[6:57] but still weird.

Elliott Kalan

[6:59] I guess maybe that...

[6:59] When I said the movie is childish,

[7:01] I guess it's not entirely childish.

[7:02] You're right.

[7:03] But it is a movie that like

[7:04] has a big bit about farting camels.

[7:07] And like, it's not stuff...

[7:09] I mean, I did just rewatch an episode of Seinfeld

[7:11] that involved a farting horse last night.

[7:12] So I guess there are grown-up things

[7:14] with farting animals in them.

Dan McCoy

[7:15] Well, that's the thing.

[7:15] I'm not sure how much of this is reshoots or not.

[7:18] I mean, like most of the research shoots

[7:20] from what I understand

[7:21] was to add CGI kangaroo action

[7:23] to make it into a kid's movie.

[7:26] Wait, that was CGI?

[7:26] They probably did other stuff too.

Elliott Kalan

[7:28] No, no.

[7:28] Don't ruin Stuart's illusion.

[7:30] Stuart, they took a kangaroo.

[7:31] They trained him to rap.

[7:32] They implanted human vocal cords.

Dan McCoy

[7:34] Jackson Kangaroo.

Stuart Wellington

[7:35] No, no.

[7:36] You guys already said it.

[7:37] Now I don't trust movies anymore.

[7:39] Let me call Todd Vizieri.

[7:40] He'll clear it all up.

[7:42] Okay.

[7:43] Guys, let's get into this fucking movie, right?

[7:46] Let's do it.

[7:46] Okay, Kangaroo Jack.

[7:48] What, 89 minutes long?

Dan McCoy

[7:49] Let's get through it.

Stuart Wellington

[7:50] You know, this is a shockingly

[7:51] not that many cards for this,

[7:54] note cards for this plot.

[7:56] So, of course, this movie opens

[7:57] with a title sequence or, you know,

[8:01] production logos.

[8:02] You get some funky music.

[8:03] That's how you know you're in for a fun time.

[8:08] The first thing, of course,

[8:09] because this movie's called Kangaroo Jack,

[8:11] we get some voiceover from Jerry O'Connell,

[8:13] who's playing the star named Charlie.

[8:16] And we have a voiceover explaining

[8:19] all about Kangaroo Jack.

[8:20] We have pictures of Kangaroo Jack,

[8:22] video footage of Kangaroo Jack,

[8:24] just so we,

[8:25] I feel like it's like they're doing

[8:26] the bare minimum to make sure you understand

[8:28] this is actually the kangaroo movie you entered

[8:30] and not like the wrong movie.

Elliott Kalan

[8:32] Just because you won't see a kangaroo

[8:34] for the first 20 some odd minutes of the film,

[8:36] don't forget that this is a kangaroo movie.

Stuart Wellington

[8:39] Okay, so we quickly do a flashback

[8:41] to 20 years ago on a beach in Brooklyn.

[8:43] It reminds me,

[8:45] as we're a couple of Brooklyn boys over here,

[8:47] of course, I would be the Charlie Carbone

[8:49] and Dan would be the Lewis Booker character

[8:51] played by Anthony Anderson.

[8:52] So we flashback 20 years ago

[8:54] to a beach in Brooklyn.

Dan McCoy

[8:56] I did have a metal detector

[8:58] when I was a child.

[8:59] Whoa, that tracks.

[9:01] It was like a toy metal detector.

[9:02] It was not like a fancy one.

[9:03] But detective metal toys.

[9:05] Yes.

[9:06] No, I would use it to go around,

[9:07] you know, looking for treasure

[9:08] in the neighborhood.

[9:10] Usually it would be nails.

[9:11] And then you found the Titanic, right?

[9:13] Or other rusty pieces of metal

[9:15] that I could have cut myself with

[9:17] and died, but I didn't, you know.

[9:19] You're saying it's not a great thing

[9:21] for a kid to be using.

[9:22] Maybe not.

[9:23] It's a detector that finds old metal.

[9:24] I enjoyed it.

[9:26] I enjoyed the thrill of the hunt.

Elliott Kalan

[9:27] I had a metal detector.

[9:29] It led me to the episode

[9:30] of The Young Ones

[9:31] with Motorhead in it.

[9:32] It was amazing.

[9:32] It really changed my life.

[9:34] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[9:35] So on this beach

[9:36] 20 years ago in Brooklyn,

[9:37] we are introduced to Charlie Carbone

[9:39] played by Jerry O'Connell

[9:40] as a grownup.

[9:41] His friend, Lewis,

[9:43] who's a bit of a nerd

[9:43] who has a metal detector,

[9:45] as we said.

[9:46] We're introduced to a gangster

[9:47] named Sal

[9:48] played by Christopher Walken

[9:50] who is the new boyfriend

[9:53] of Charlie's mom.

[9:55] There's an evil rival kid

[9:56] named Frankie.

[9:58] We'll get to him in a minute.

[9:59] He throws a football

[10:00] and Charlie almost drowns

[10:02] in the ocean

[10:02] only to be saved by Lewis,

[10:03] which is kind of

[10:04] the encapsulation

[10:05] of their friendship.

[10:06] There is a certain amount

[10:07] of guilt that Charlie feels

[10:08] because Lewis saved his life

[10:09] or so Lewis believes.

[10:12] Flash forward 20 years.

[10:14] We are in modern day

[10:15] New York City.

[10:16] Well, 2003?

[10:18] When was this shot?

Elliott Kalan

[10:19] It came out in 2003.

[10:20] It probably was shot in 2002,

[10:21] I'm guessing,

[10:21] if there was that extensive

[10:22] in edit that it went through.

Stuart Wellington

[10:24] All the cars look like

[10:25] they're from 1992.

[10:27] So, Charlie?

[10:28] Well, people, I think,

Elliott Kalan

[10:29] forget that when a year happens,

[10:32] not all the stuff that exists

[10:33] in the world is from that year.

[10:34] That old stuff hangs around

[10:37] for a long time.

[10:38] And so it bothers me

[10:39] when you see a movie

[10:40] that's set at a certain time period

[10:41] and they're like,

[10:42] we got to get the cars

[10:43] from just this year.

[10:44] Everyone's wearing the clothes

[10:45] from just this year.

[10:46] It's like, well,

[10:46] most people are going to be

[10:47] walking around wearing old clothes

[10:48] and driving old cars.

[10:50] History doesn't,

[10:50] it's not like every year

[10:52] everyone gets all new stuff.

[10:53] So, that's just a little

[10:54] pet peeve for me

[10:55] about the way people

[10:56] handle the past

[10:57] in movies and things like that.

[10:58] And they didn't want you

[10:59] to take over for Andy Rooney?

[11:01] Oh, let's not even

[11:02] scratch that scab.

[11:04] It's almost healed.

[11:05] Let's not reopen those wounds.

[11:07] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[11:07] Andy Rooney,

[11:08] more like Andy Looney

[11:09] over here, get it?

Elliott Kalan

[11:11] I got him.

[11:12] I guess.

[11:13] I don't understand.

[11:13] Not at all.

Dan McCoy

[11:14] Actually, I agree with Elliot.

[11:15] I don't know why

[11:16] I'm giving him a hard time.

Elliott Kalan

[11:17] Well, but similar how

[11:18] when you see a movie

[11:19] set in the future,

[11:20] everything is futuristic.

[11:22] Yeah.

[11:23] That's not how the world works.

[11:24] You go to an older person's house,

[11:25] it looks like an old,

[11:26] everything's from 1990

[11:28] or, you know, 2010, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[11:30] I mean, I recently watched

[11:31] The Creator,

[11:32] which I think actually

[11:33] does a nice blend

[11:33] of like high-tech

[11:34] and low-tech stuff

[11:35] where it doesn't all feel

[11:37] super modern.

[11:39] I mean, it's a similar,

[11:40] in some ways,

[11:41] a similar aesthetic

[11:41] and, I don't know,

[11:43] whatever else

[11:43] to like a District 9

[11:45] where it's like a mix of things.

[11:46] Yeah.

[11:46] Okay.

[11:47] So, flash forward

[11:48] to present day.

[11:50] Charlie is now

[11:51] a hairstylist.

[11:52] He owns,

[11:53] well,

[11:53] he operates

[11:55] a mob front

[11:56] hair salon

[11:58] called

[11:58] Hair We Are.

[12:01] That's pretty good.

[12:02] Lewis is now

[12:02] some kind of like,

[12:03] kind of like a hustler now.

[12:05] He's like a petty hustler

[12:06] who has a

[12:07] lucky jacket

[12:09] and he steals

[12:10] a truck

[12:11] full of televisions

[12:13] and they get in trouble

[12:15] with the cops

[12:16] and then they

[12:17] in turn get in trouble

[12:17] with the mob.

[12:18] This is an interesting

[12:20] choice to me.

Elliott Kalan

[12:21] You're really glossing

[12:21] over a huge car chase

Dan McCoy

[12:23] that opens the movie.

[12:24] Oh, sorry.

[12:24] This is what I was going

[12:25] to talk about.

[12:26] It's an interesting choice

[12:27] to me

[12:27] to introduce us

[12:29] to the adult versions

[12:30] of our heroes

[12:31] and the first thing

[12:32] we see is them,

[12:33] you know,

[12:34] doing a tremendous

[12:35] amount of reckless

[12:36] endangerment

[12:37] as they,

[12:38] you know,

[12:40] like try to escape

[12:41] the car.

Elliott Kalan

[12:42] I mean,

[12:42] a high-speed chase

[12:43] with the cops

[12:43] where they are

[12:44] so uncaring

[12:46] about the lives

[12:47] of any other person

[12:48] in the world.

[12:49] What are they,

[12:49] Batman in the Flash movie?

[12:51] What is this all about?

Dan McCoy

[12:52] Oh, man.

[12:53] Yeah, but like,

[12:54] I'm like,

[12:55] you're assuming

[12:56] that I'm going to love

[12:56] these two doofuses

[12:57] immediately

[12:58] and I think that

[12:59] you're making a bet

[13:00] that may not pay off

[13:01] Kangaroo Jack,

[13:02] you know?

Stuart Wellington

[13:03] Yeah, there's a lot

[13:03] of wisecracking,

[13:04] a lot of over-talking,

[13:06] a lot of like

[13:06] wacky music playing.

[13:08] That's how you know

[13:08] it's a comedy

[13:09] and not some kind

[13:10] of a trauma.

[13:11] You thought it could

[13:12] have been a drama.

[13:13] It's similar to May,

[13:13] December where you're like,

[13:14] what is this?

Elliott Kalan

[13:15] Yeah, when I walk

[13:16] into a movie called

[13:17] Kangaroo Jack

[13:17] starring Jerry O'Connell,

[13:19] what I expect

[13:20] is a heavy drama.

[13:21] Yeah.

[13:22] I mean,

[13:22] there's certainly

[13:23] a lack of jokes

[13:24] for a movie

[13:25] that is ostensibly

[13:26] a comedy.

[13:27] Now, let's,

[13:28] I would say

[13:28] until Anthony Anderson

[13:29] comes on screen,

[13:31] it is a joke-free desert.

[13:33] You know,

[13:34] it's a comedy desert

[13:34] and he's really

[13:35] the one source of comedy

[13:37] for much of the movie.

Dan McCoy

[13:38] I'd say it depends

[13:39] on what you count

[13:39] as jokes.

[13:40] Are jokes just

[13:41] verbal things

[13:42] that are said?

[13:43] Or like,

[13:43] there's a lot of shenanigans

[13:44] that are a subset

[13:46] of jokes.

Elliott Kalan

[13:48] Maybe.

[13:48] I mean,

[13:48] I think the movie

[13:49] expects us to think

[13:50] it's funny that

[13:51] Jerry O'Connell

[13:51] runs a hair salon.

[13:52] Like,

[13:52] it feels like

[13:53] there are certain things

[13:54] that the movie

[13:55] thinks are going

[13:55] to be funny

[13:56] that you're like,

[13:56] that's not a joke,

[13:57] that's not funny.

[13:58] I don't know.

[13:58] Even,

[13:59] and that's not even

[13:59] like a woke thing.

[14:00] It's just like,

[14:00] there's just nothing

[14:01] inherently funny

[14:02] about a mob-backed

[14:04] hair salon.

[14:04] You need to put jokes

[14:05] into it.

[14:06] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[14:07] Yeah.

[14:07] I do respect the movie,

[14:08] like,

[14:09] not that there is no

[14:10] gay panic in the film,

[14:11] but the movie does not

[14:13] make an overt point

[14:14] of,

[14:14] like,

[14:15] it being,

[14:16] like,

[14:18] There's only a couple

[14:19] of gay panic moments.

[14:20] It's really only

Elliott Kalan

[14:21] the airport bathroom scene

[14:22] and I think

[14:23] the hugging scene later.

[14:24] You have to assume

[14:24] there's a lot.

[14:25] Yeah,

Dan McCoy

[14:25] the hugging scene,

[14:25] which ruins an act,

[14:26] like,

[14:26] a moment that is actually

[14:27] kind of nice,

[14:28] but we'll get there.

Elliott Kalan

[14:29] You have to assume

[14:30] that the R-rated cut

[14:31] had a ton more

[14:32] of that stuff.

[14:33] Had a ton more

[14:33] gay panic jokes,

[14:34] probably.

[14:35] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[14:36] So,

[14:36] they managed to evade-

[14:38] I mean,

[14:38] we'll never know

Elliott Kalan

[14:39] until someone sends it to us.

[14:40] Listeners,

[14:40] find that R-rated cut

[14:41] of Kangaroo Jack,

[14:42] send it to us.

Stuart Wellington

[14:43] So,

[14:43] they managed to evade

[14:44] the police,

[14:44] but they end up

[14:45] bringing the police down

[14:46] on Jerry O'Connell's

[14:48] stepfather,

[14:49] Sal's,

[14:49] what,

[14:51] art smuggling operation?

[14:52] It's like the warehouse

Elliott Kalan

[14:53] where he stores

[14:54] his stolen goods.

[14:56] Stolen goods.

[14:56] Stolen property.

[14:57] And there's some

[14:57] expensive art there.

[14:58] I guess he's the guy

[14:59] who stole

[15:00] that Winslow Homer painting

[15:02] that disappeared

[15:03] and was never found again.

[15:04] Oh,

[15:04] okay,

Stuart Wellington

[15:05] okay,

[15:06] that guy.

[15:07] So,

[15:07] he,

[15:08] so,

[15:10] of course,

[15:10] this gets them

[15:11] in trouble

[15:11] with the mob

[15:12] and this is where

[15:13] we see,

[15:14] we see

[15:15] Christopher Walken,

[15:16] in his mansion

[15:17] in Bensonhurst,

[15:18] Brooklyn,

[15:19] which doesn't really

[15:20] look like Bensonhurst,

[15:21] but that's fine.

[15:22] And he explains,

[15:24] you know,

[15:24] you cost me money,

[15:25] but because you're family,

[15:26] I can't kill you.

[15:27] Your mother would be so sad.

[15:29] He does a few little bits

[15:31] and jokes.

[15:32] I think there was a moment

[15:33] where he mispronounces

[15:34] something and I'm like,

[15:35] was that intentional?

[15:36] Was that in the script

[15:37] or did he,

[15:38] like,

[15:38] flub it and just play it well?

Dan McCoy

[15:39] I was so excited

[15:40] when Christopher Walken

[15:41] showed up in this movie

[15:42] because I didn't know

[15:43] he was going to be here

[15:44] and,

[15:45] like,

[15:46] you know,

[15:46] he's not giving it

[15:47] that old Country Bears energy,

[15:49] but,

Stuart Wellington

[15:50] yeah,

[15:50] but you do that thing

[15:51] when during the opening credits

[15:52] you close your eyes

[15:53] and you say,

[15:54] no spoilers,

[15:55] until you see him on screen.

Dan McCoy

[15:57] I mean,

[15:57] maybe I saw the name.

[15:58] I'm just saying

[15:59] that I didn't know before,

[16:00] like,

[16:00] you know,

[16:01] hitting play

[16:02] that Christopher Walken

[16:03] was going to be in there.

[16:04] I knew he was in there,

Elliott Kalan

[16:05] but it is always nice to see him.

[16:07] It's true he's not giving his all

[16:09] like he does in Country Bears,

[16:10] but he's not walking.

[16:11] He's not sleepwalking through it.

[16:12] I have to correct myself.

[16:14] It was not a Winslow Homer painting

[16:16] that was never returned.

[16:16] It was a Rembrandt painting,

[16:18] but it was of a ship at sea,

[16:20] which was why I was thinking

[16:21] Winslow Homer.

[16:22] Partial credit.

[16:23] Yeah,

[16:23] that makes sense.

[16:23] That's the storm

[16:24] on the Sea of Galilee.

[16:25] That's the one that was stolen

[16:25] and never returned.

Dan McCoy

[16:26] Yeah.

[16:27] But also,

[16:27] did you mention

[16:28] baby Michael Shannon?

[16:30] That's the thing.

[16:30] That's the real excitement.

[16:31] That was the real surprise.

Stuart Wellington

[16:32] The rival Frankie shows up,

[16:35] now an adult,

[16:36] played my Michael Shannon,

[16:39] Brooklyn,

[16:40] Kensington, Brooklyn native right now.

[16:42] Can you say native

[16:43] if he just lives here now?

Dan McCoy

[16:45] Did I tell you that

[16:45] Audrey also finally

[16:47] saw him around the neighborhood?

[16:48] That's dope.

Stuart Wellington

[16:49] That's great.

[16:49] Now you have something

[16:50] to talk to him about.

[16:50] Can you recheck?

Elliott Kalan

[16:51] Yeah.

[16:53] He is,

[16:54] I find him genuinely funny

[16:55] in this movie.

[16:56] Not at the very beginning,

[16:57] but later on,

[16:58] I think his performance

[16:59] is very funny.

Stuart Wellington

[17:00] Well,

[17:01] partly,

[17:01] a big part of it

[17:02] is that he fully commits

[17:03] to being a mobster

[17:05] in a movie

[17:05] and not treating it

[17:07] like a joke.

[17:08] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[17:09] Whereas everyone else

[17:09] is kind of barely doing anything.

Stuart Wellington

[17:11] Yeah.

[17:12] So he,

[17:13] so Charlie and Lewis

[17:15] are given a mission.

[17:16] This is the way

[17:17] that they can make amends.

[17:18] They have to take

[17:19] a mystery envelope

[17:20] that they are not allowed

[17:21] to look inside

[17:22] all the way

[17:23] to Coober,

[17:24] Coober Pedy

[17:25] in the outback

[17:27] in Australia.

[17:29] I mean,

[17:29] you got to learn

[17:29] how to pronounce

Dan McCoy

[17:30] these things,

[17:31] Stuart,

[17:31] for your trip

[17:32] down under.

[17:33] Part of the reason,

Stuart Wellington

[17:33] now,

[17:33] we had a couple

[17:34] different movie options.

[17:35] Stuart down under.

[17:36] Yeah.

[17:36] A couple different movie options

[17:38] and one of them

[17:38] was Kangaroo Jack.

[17:39] And as I've mentioned

[17:40] on the show a little bit,

[17:42] your boy Stuart

[17:43] is going to Australia

[17:44] here in about a month

[17:45] and I'm really looking forward

[17:46] to it.

[17:46] I've always wanted to go.

[17:48] But, you know,

[17:49] it's the other side

[17:50] of the world

[17:50] so I need to learn about it.

[17:52] So I'm doing

[17:52] all the research I can

[17:53] watching Kangaroo Jack.

[17:54] I'm watching all the

Dan McCoy

[17:55] Australian classics.

[17:58] Kangaroo Jack.

Stuart Wellington

[17:58] I'm watching

[17:59] that show

[18:01] Instant Hotel.

[18:03] Do you remember that one?

Elliott Kalan

[18:04] Sure.

[18:05] All kinds of crap.

[18:07] Our audience,

[18:08] I'm sure,

[18:08] knows this already

[18:09] but you should know

[18:09] that Coober Pedy

[18:10] is, of course,

[18:10] referred to as

[18:11] the opal capital

[18:12] of the world.

[18:13] It's known for its

[18:13] opal mining.

[18:15] So that's something

[18:16] you'll need to know

[18:16] when you get to Australia

[18:17] because they'll ask you

[18:18] before they let you in.

[18:18] That's where opals come from.

Stuart Wellington

[18:19] Well, that's good.

[18:20] I guess you're

[18:22] spoiling your gifts

[18:24] that I'm going to bring back.

[18:25] A bunch of opals.

[18:28] Sacks of opals.

[18:29] Sacks of opals.

[18:30] So, of course,

[18:31] they're given this

[18:32] mystery envelope

[18:33] told not to look into it.

[18:34] Of course,

[18:35] they immediately look into it

[18:36] while they're on the plane.

[18:37] Turns out that it's full

[18:38] of $50,000

[18:39] which,

[18:41] now,

[18:41] I don't want to sound

[18:42] kind of weird

[18:43] but that doesn't seem

[18:44] like that much money.

[18:45] Remember,

Elliott Kalan

[18:45] this was 2003.

[18:48] Just for inflation.

[18:50] And we'll later find out

[18:51] why it's that money

[18:53] but it does seem like

[18:53] it's both a lot of money

[18:55] and not a lot of money

[18:56] for them to have to courier.

[18:58] Yeah,

[18:58] for a movie.

[18:59] Exactly.

[19:00] And it's also,

[19:01] the way they handle this envelope

[19:02] even before they know

[19:03] that money is in it

[19:04] is ridiculously slipshod.

[19:06] Like,

[19:06] it's literally,

[19:07] like,

[19:07] what,

[19:07] tucked into the back

[19:08] of the seat pocket

[19:09] of the seat in front of them

[19:10] on the plane?

[19:11] it's like,

[19:12] put that in your suitcase,

[19:13] dude.

[19:13] What are you doing?

[19:14] Like,

[19:15] come on,

[19:15] what are you doing?

[19:16] And then,

[19:16] of course,

[19:17] keep it in your pocket.

[19:18] Yeah,

[19:18] we get some comedy bits.

Dan McCoy

[19:19] This bathroom conversation

[19:20] leads to the longest

[19:21] and most

[19:23] improbable

[19:25] misunderstanding,

[19:27] comedic misunderstanding.

[19:28] Wild Wild West

Elliott Kalan

[19:29] have two men

[19:30] behind a closed door

[19:31] talking about something

[19:32] where they have to work

[19:33] really hard

[19:33] to make the phrasing

[19:34] sound like they are

[19:35] having sex with each other

[19:36] so that it can be overheard

[19:37] by somebody else.

[19:38] Not since that.

[19:39] In that case,

Dan McCoy

[19:39] it's phrased

[19:41] so it sounds like

[19:42] they're both

[19:43] very excited

[19:43] about Jerry O'Connell's poop

[19:45] and want to pick up the poop

[19:48] and put it in an envelope

[19:49] and whatnot.

[19:50] See,

Elliott Kalan

[19:51] I couldn't tell

[19:52] if they were talking

[19:52] about poop

[19:53] or his penis.

[19:54] That's the thing

[19:54] I couldn't get.

Dan McCoy

[19:55] I think they do,

[19:56] like,

[19:56] talk about putting it

[19:57] in the envelope,

[19:58] which I think

[19:59] means that it's

[19:59] a discreet unit,

[20:01] not that they can,

[20:02] you know,

[20:02] they're just going to

[20:03] put it like a sleeve

[20:04] over his penis

[20:05] and then tuck it

[20:06] back in his pants.

[20:07] Oh!

[20:07] And they talk about

[20:08] how green it is,

[20:10] which I guess

[20:10] could be about

[20:11] some sort of disease,

[20:13] but to me,

[20:13] read more like

[20:14] they were marveling

[20:16] at his bowel movement.

[20:17] It just seems like

[20:18] such a weird thing to exist.

[20:19] This scene needed,

[20:20] like,

[20:20] like a Dan

Stuart Wellington

[20:21] doing a Statler and Waldorf,

[20:22] you guys,

[20:23] in the back row

[20:24] doing a Statler and Waldorf bit

[20:25] trying to analyze

[20:26] what they're talking about.

[20:27] This is both

Dan McCoy

[20:27] what I think

[20:28] the other writers

[20:29] hated me for

[20:30] at The Daily Show

[20:30] and I think

[20:31] a genuine,

[20:32] useful quality

[20:33] is, like,

[20:34] I want to hash out

[20:36] the logic of these things.

Elliott Kalan

[20:37] Well, I remember

[20:38] our long arguments

[20:39] about the name

[20:40] Jabba the Hutt

[20:41] and how you couldn't

[20:42] wrap your minds around,

[20:43] you couldn't wrap your mind

[20:44] around why you called

[20:45] Jabba the Hutt.

Dan McCoy

[20:46] I just think that,

[20:47] I just think it's weird

[20:49] that, like,

[20:49] it's introduced

[20:50] as if it's a title

[20:50] and then, like,

[20:51] it's, anyway.

[20:52] It is.

[20:52] It's like Nicky the Greek.

Elliott Kalan

[20:54] It's an ethnic title.

[20:55] Yeah, but then everyone's,

[20:56] anyway.

Dan McCoy

[20:57] Not mobsters.

[20:59] Not mobsters

[20:59] are called Hutt.

[21:00] He's the only Hutt

Elliott Kalan

[21:01] in the whole scene.

Dan McCoy

[21:03] No,

[21:03] extended,

[21:04] anyway.

[21:05] But the other Hutt

[21:06] are also called that,

[21:07] but that's not canon.

[21:08] My point is that, like,

[21:10] there are places

[21:11] where you can fudge logic.

[21:14] Speaking of fudge.

[21:15] It doesn't matter.

[21:17] But I think

[21:17] if you're going to do, like,

[21:19] particularly a joke

[21:19] this dumb,

[21:20] the logic has to be airtight,

[21:22] I think, actually.

[21:22] It's got,

Elliott Kalan

[21:23] no, I agree with you on that.

[21:24] And I think it's a...

[21:25] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[21:26] You need the audience

[21:26] to be like,

[21:27] I don't like it,

[21:27] but I respect it.

Elliott Kalan

[21:29] The phrasing is...

[21:30] They pulled it off.

[21:31] It's so forced.

[21:32] It's so incredibly forced

[21:33] and it's so...

[21:35] It doesn't make any sense

[21:36] and, yeah,

[21:37] to pull off something this,

[21:38] like you're saying,

[21:38] to pull off a premise

[21:40] this stupid

[21:40] that the two of them

[21:41] are being overheard

[21:42] and being mistaken

[21:43] as thinking that,

[21:44] I guess they're talking about,

[21:46] yeah, his poop,

[21:47] then,

[21:47] and want to put it

[21:48] in their mouth

[21:49] and stuff like that

[21:49] and put it in the envelope.

[21:51] Yeah,

[21:51] they want to pick it up

[21:52] and smell it.

[21:53] Yeah,

[21:53] that's what it is.

[21:54] Put it in the envelope

[21:54] and smell it like the...

[21:56] It just feels like

[21:57] it is...

[21:58] They really have to

[22:00] square that circle

[22:01] a little better

[22:01] than they do here,

[22:02] you know?

[22:03] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[22:04] So,

[22:04] that's not the only comedy bit.

[22:05] We get some jokes

[22:06] about how

[22:07] Anthony Anderson,

[22:09] Lewis's pockets

[22:11] of his lucky jacket

[22:12] are filled with,

[22:13] like,

[22:13] odd candy bits.

[22:15] Like unwrapped candy.

[22:16] Mostly unwrapped,

[22:17] yeah.

[22:17] Yeah.

[22:18] We also get a bit

[22:20] where Jerry O'Connell

[22:21] gets strip searched

[22:22] at the airport.

[22:24] It's good stuff.

[22:25] The candy stuff,

Dan McCoy

[22:26] honestly,

[22:26] is more of,

[22:27] like,

[22:27] where I want the tone

[22:28] of this movie

[22:28] to be at

[22:29] because it's so goofy

[22:31] and,

[22:31] like,

[22:32] you know,

[22:32] like,

[22:33] three stooges-y

[22:33] or silly,

[22:34] like,

[22:34] childlike

[22:35] to have,

[22:35] like,

[22:36] yeah,

[22:36] he's just got,

[22:36] like,

[22:36] an assortment

[22:37] of unwrapped candies

[22:38] that he has no problem,

[22:39] like,

[22:40] popping in his mouth

[22:40] and then popping back

[22:41] in his pocket.

[22:42] Yeah,

[22:42] he has,

Elliott Kalan

[22:43] like,

[22:43] a single Twizzler

[22:44] in there

[22:44] just unwrapped

[22:45] in the pocket

[22:46] of his sweatshirt.

Dan McCoy

[22:46] That has a big kid quality

[22:48] that I kind of enjoy.

Elliott Kalan

[22:49] That I would like.

[22:50] I think if the,

[22:50] I would buy so much more

[22:51] of this movie

[22:52] if these characters were,

[22:53] like you're saying,

[22:54] Dan,

[22:54] like,

[22:54] three stooges-type

[22:55] grown-up children,

[22:57] idiot kids.

[22:57] If this was,

[22:58] if this was the stars

[22:59] of Detroiters

[23:00] in the same plot,

[23:02] so much of this

[23:02] would make so much

[23:03] more sense to me

[23:04] because they're

[23:04] essentially child men.

[23:05] You know,

[23:05] or if it was,

[23:06] if it was,

[23:06] oh man,

[23:07] now I want to see

[23:08] Kangaroo Jack

[23:08] starting to reload.

[23:11] Or if this was,

[23:12] I wouldn't enjoy this

[23:13] as much,

[23:13] but if it was like

[23:14] Dumb and Dumber 2,

[23:16] I'd be like,

[23:16] okay,

[23:16] yeah,

[23:16] I get it.

[23:17] These guys are

[23:17] cartoonish morons,

[23:19] but these characters

[23:20] are both,

[23:21] we're supposed to take

[23:21] seriously their bond

[23:22] as friends

[23:23] and also,

[23:24] you know,

[23:25] and also laugh at

[23:26] these dumb things

[23:27] they're doing

[23:27] and I just,

[23:27] I can't buy it.

[23:28] Can't buy it.

[23:29] Sorry,

[23:30] I can't buy it.

[23:32] I'm not going to buy it,

[23:34] I'm just going to,

[23:34] I know you put it in my,

[23:36] you took it off the shelf

[23:36] and put it in my hands

[23:38] so that it would be

[23:39] harder for me to not buy it

[23:40] but I'm going to put it

[23:40] back on the shelf.

[23:41] Shark Tank?

[23:42] Yeah,

[23:42] so guys,

[23:43] I'm not going to invest

[23:43] in Kangaroo Jack.

Dan McCoy

[23:45] All right.

[23:45] Sorry,

[23:46] sharks.

[23:46] You lost your chance

[23:47] back in what,

[23:48] 2004 or when's this from?

[23:50] It's 2003.

[23:52] Okay,

[23:52] I was close.

Elliott Kalan

[23:53] So,

[23:53] I had just come out of college

[23:56] and somebody said,

[23:57] hey,

[23:57] you want a career

[23:58] investing in Kangaroo Jack?

[23:59] It's the summer

[23:59] of Kangaroo Jack.

[24:02] When I was young

[24:03] and life was so wonderful.

Dan McCoy

[24:06] I'll remember it

[24:07] like it was yesterday.

[24:08] When I was 17,

[24:10] there was a Kangaroo Jack.

Elliott Kalan

[24:13] Until the Kangaroo Jack

[24:14] of summer has come.

Dan McCoy

[24:17] I don't remember

[24:17] how that song goes.

[24:18] Yeah,

[24:19] good enough

[24:20] for this show.

[24:21] Anyway,

[24:22] Stuart.

Elliott Kalan

[24:24] So,

[24:24] back to the adventure.

[24:26] Do you remember?

[24:28] Kangaroo Jack didn't come out

[24:29] in September.

[24:31] It came out in,

[24:32] actually,

[24:33] in January.

[24:34] So,

[24:34] it was not the summer

[24:35] but the winter

[24:36] Do,

[24:37] do,

[24:38] do,

[24:39] do,

[24:40] do,

Elliott Kalan

[24:40] do,

Elliott Kalan

[24:40] do,

[24:41] do,

Elliott Kalan

[24:41] do, do,

Stuart Wellington

[24:41] do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

[24:42] So,

Stuart Wellington

[24:42] back to the adventure.

[24:44] Charlie gets out of being.

[24:45] The adventure.

Dan McCoy

[24:46] Okay.

[24:46] Of these two guys

Stuart Wellington

[24:47] going to Australia.

Dan McCoy

[24:48] I like that Stuart

[24:50] doesn't get annoyed anymore.

[24:51] He's just like,

[24:52] okay,

[24:52] this is a chance to answer

[24:53] that text that came in

[24:55] earlier that I couldn't do.

[24:57] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[24:58] It was quite a cinematic,

[25:00] set of the area.

[25:01] When Kangaroo Jack

[25:02] came out that day,

[25:04] do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

[25:06] Ah,

[25:07] you thought it was

[25:08] a rapping kangaroo

[25:10] that was in the movie.

[25:13] Might as well check

[25:14] the promotions folder

[25:16] of my email.

Dan McCoy

[25:17] Anyway.

[25:18] Okay, no, no,

[25:19] for real.

[25:20] Oh, okay.

[25:20] No, no, no,

[25:21] it's not for real.

Elliott Kalan

[25:21] I'll wait until I start

[25:22] talking about Frank Welker.

[25:23] Sure, okay.

Dan McCoy

[25:24] Football will never

[25:26] be pulled away again.

Stuart Wellington

[25:26] So Charlie gets out

[25:27] of being strip searched

[25:29] to find that

[25:30] Lewis has already

[25:31] rented a Jeep

[25:32] and pulled it up,

[25:33] which is kind of wild.

[25:34] Like,

[25:34] if you ever rented a car

[25:35] from the airport,

[25:35] it's nuts.

[25:36] It takes time, yeah.

[25:37] Yeah.

[25:37] So they take this Jeep.

Elliott Kalan

[25:39] That's the main inconsistency

[25:40] and hard to believe

[25:41] thing about the film.

[25:42] Whoops.

Stuart Wellington

[25:42] Found a whoopsie.

[25:43] Add it to the list.

[25:44] Put it on the goofs section.

[25:46] So they're driving

[25:47] through the Outback.

[25:48] They are doing

[25:49] a little rap together.

[25:50] They're rapping together,

[25:51] which you're like,

[25:52] oh no,

[25:52] this is grim foreshadowing

[25:53] of what I'm going to see later.

[25:55] And they get distracted

[25:56] while rapping

[25:57] and run over a kangaroo.

[26:00] Hilarious.

[26:01] Yep, it's hilarious.

[26:02] They pose for pictures

[26:03] with the supposed corpse.

[26:06] Again, our heroes.

[26:06] Yeah, our heroes pose

[26:07] with the corpse

[26:08] of a kangaroo for a while.

[26:09] Again, if these were

Elliott Kalan

[26:10] idiot characters

[26:11] who were not supposed

[26:12] to be necessarily sympathetic

[26:13] but were just crazy morons,

[26:15] I'd be like,

[26:16] okay, I kind of bite.

[26:17] The idea that

[26:17] they go,

[26:19] hey, that kangaroo

[26:19] looks like a guy we know

[26:21] back in New York.

[26:22] That's impossible.

[26:23] There's no way.

[26:24] But also,

[26:24] they're like,

[26:25] hey, let's pose with him,

[26:26] put the sunglasses on him,

[26:27] and let me take off

[26:28] my lucky jacket

[26:29] full of my unwrapped candy

[26:30] that I talk about

[26:31] all the time

[26:32] and let me put it

[26:32] on a dead kangaroo's body.

[26:34] Just the idea,

[26:35] you have to imagine

[26:36] as they started

[26:37] to thread a dead animal's limbs

[26:38] through the sleeve

[26:39] of the jacket

[26:40] that they would say,

[26:41] what are we doing?

[26:42] Why are we doing this?

[26:43] Who are we?

Dan McCoy

[26:44] Is this who we are

[26:44] as people?

[26:45] If not just because

[26:47] I feel like a monster,

[26:49] then also because

[26:50] I don't want to put

[26:51] this jacket back on

[26:52] afterwards maybe.

[26:53] But the selfish reason even.

Elliott Kalan

[26:56] Imagine how much

[26:57] people hate it

[26:57] when someone poses

[26:59] with an animal

[26:59] they've killed

[27:00] and puts the picture online.

[27:01] Already,

[27:02] that's a kind of

[27:03] disagreeable thing to do.

[27:05] It's a kind of

[27:05] disgusting thing to do.

[27:06] Now imagine that you

[27:07] then took that corpse.

[27:07] More than kind.

[27:08] Yeah.

[27:09] But I want to set it up

[27:10] because then imagine

[27:10] you took that corpse

[27:11] of the animal you killed,

[27:12] put your jacket on it,

[27:13] put sunglasses on it,

[27:14] and then took a picture

[27:15] of you kind of like

[27:16] sister, sister,

[27:17] back to back.

[27:18] You know,

[27:18] like,

[27:18] hey,

[27:19] check this person out.

[27:20] Yeah, yeah,

[27:20] angel.

[27:21] It's a different level.

[27:22] Yeah.

[27:23] Angel,

[27:23] student by night,

Dan McCoy

[27:24] call girl by day.

[27:25] So we're coming out hard

[27:26] against the protagonists

[27:29] We're sticking out

[27:30] against Kangaroo Jack.

[27:31] So they're posing

Stuart Wellington

[27:32] with a dead body

Elliott Kalan

[27:32] as we said,

[27:34] Lewis.

[27:34] And you know what?

[27:34] You don't have to like

[27:35] the main characters

[27:36] of the movie you're watching

[27:38] but in this kind of movie.

[27:39] Yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[27:40] it's not Uncut Gems

[27:41] where I love him.

[27:46] So they're posing

[27:48] with his dead body.

[27:49] Lewis puts his lucky jacket

[27:50] on the dead body.

[27:52] Of course,

[27:52] turns out this kangaroo

[27:53] is not dead.

[27:54] It wakes up.

[27:55] It runs off.

Elliott Kalan

[27:56] Just like every animal

[27:57] hit by a car

[27:57] in every comedy ever.

[27:59] The animal is,

[28:00] just like in Tommy Boy,

[28:01] just in like,

[28:02] in any other things

[28:02] you can think of,

[28:03] the animal is not dead

[28:03] but wakes up and runs off.

[28:05] Yeah.

[28:05] Guys,

Stuart Wellington

[28:06] that jacket's pockets,

[28:07] they're not just full of

[28:08] candy, right?

[28:09] They're full of

[28:09] real candy.

[28:11] That's right.

[28:11] They're full of nature's candy.

[28:12] Money.

[28:12] Yeah, exactly.

[28:14] That's why they call it money.

[28:16] They,

[28:17] it runs off

[28:18] with the $50,000.

[28:19] They need to catch that roo.

[28:21] So they chase the kangaroo.

[28:23] Of course,

[28:23] they crash their Jeep

[28:25] and they have to walk

[28:26] across the outback.

Elliott Kalan

[28:27] And again,

[28:27] I don't want to be the guy

[28:28] who's like,

[28:29] why didn't they just do this thing?

[28:30] That's a plot hole

[28:31] that in this tense situation

[28:32] they didn't think

[28:32] of the thing to do.

[28:33] You already hit this kangaroo

[28:34] once with your car.

[28:35] Why are you not driving fast enough

[28:36] to just hit it again

[28:37] with the car?

[28:38] Are you worried about

[28:38] breaking the money?

[28:39] Come on.

Stuart Wellington

[28:40] I don't understand.

[28:40] I think they're worried

[28:42] that it's,

[28:43] they've already proven

[28:44] that it's immune

[28:45] to,

[28:45] it's got resistance

[28:47] to car crashes.

[28:48] I just want to point out

[28:49] It only takes half damage.

Dan McCoy

[28:50] Yeah.

[28:50] Yeah,

[28:50] it needs to change

[28:51] the weapon type.

[28:52] At this point,

[28:53] we have fulfilled

[28:53] the legendary tagline

[28:55] for Kangaroo Jack.

[28:56] Of course,

[28:57] he stole the money

[28:58] and he's not giving it back.

Elliott Kalan

[29:01] That's true.

[29:02] That is the tagline

[29:03] and the movie

[29:03] has borne that out.

[29:04] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[29:05] That's kind of like

[29:06] a rap in itself,

[29:07] right?

Elliott Kalan

[29:08] Now,

[29:08] that implies

[29:09] that he knows

[29:10] he has money

[29:11] and he is deliberately

[29:12] refusing to return it.

[29:14] That this is a

[29:14] kind of scheming kangaroo

[29:16] when actually

[29:16] it is an animal.

Dan McCoy

[29:18] They're just reaping

[29:19] what they sowed

[29:20] by posing

[29:22] with this kangaroo.

Stuart Wellington

[29:24] Okay,

[29:24] so,

[29:25] they crash their Jeep.

[29:27] They have to walk

[29:28] across the outback.

[29:29] They find

[29:30] like a saloon,

[29:32] like a roadhouse

[29:33] in a small town.

[29:35] While they're there,

[29:36] they have some drinks.

[29:37] They meet Jessie,

[29:38] an American woman

[29:39] who is working

[29:40] at the Wildlife Foundation.

Elliott Kalan

[29:42] I apologize.

[29:43] I so wish

[29:43] this had turned into

[29:44] Wake and Fright

[29:44] at this moment.

[29:45] They went into this

[29:46] roadhouse

[29:47] and they just

[29:47] find themselves,

[29:48] I mean,

[29:48] in both Wake and Fright

[29:49] and this,

[29:49] they are hunting kangaroos.

[29:51] Yeah, yeah.

[29:51] that it had just

[29:52] become them

[29:53] on an ever-increasingly

[29:54] lurid descent

[29:57] into disgustingness,

[29:59] you know.

[29:59] This part,

Dan McCoy

[30:00] this part,

[30:01] this one part

[30:01] feels like it could

[30:03] be a deliberate reference

[30:04] just because,

[30:05] like,

[30:05] there's this,

[30:05] like,

[30:06] the old guy

[30:07] who, like,

[30:07] they're just,

[30:08] like,

[30:08] just pouring

[30:09] booze down his gullet

[30:11] and so much like

[30:12] that scene

[30:13] in Wake and Fright

[30:14] were there.

Elliott Kalan

[30:14] except that this is,

[30:15] that's clearly a setup

[30:16] for the punchline

[30:17] of this is the guy

[30:18] who's gonna fly them around.

[30:19] I don't know

[30:20] that they were like,

[30:21] for Kangaroo Jack.

[30:22] I looked at all the greats

[30:23] of Aussie cinema

[30:25] making Fright,

[30:26] Mad Max.

[30:26] This guy is.

[30:27] That actor's been in,

[30:29] like,

[30:29] a ton of crap.

[30:30] So there's a couple

[30:31] of Australian actors in here

[30:32] and that's one of them,

[30:33] that's Bill Hunter,

[30:34] who's been in lots of,

[30:35] who's lots and lots of things.

Stuart Wellington

[30:37] He was Muriel

[30:37] in Muriel's Wedding,

[30:39] he was Priscilla

[30:40] and Priscilla

[30:41] and Priscilla

Stuart Wellington

[30:41] Queen of the Desert.

Elliott Kalan

[30:42] He was.

[30:42] I mean,

[30:43] he's in those movies,

[30:44] but he's not those characters.

[30:45] He played Gallipoli.

Dan McCoy

[30:47] Wow.

[30:48] I guess,

[30:48] hey,

[30:48] the material,

[30:49] he didn't pull it off,

[30:49] but he did.

[30:50] The material with him

[30:51] is some of the stuff

[30:51] that I found most

[30:52] legitimately funny.

[30:54] Like,

[30:54] we spoiled it already,

[30:56] but like,

[30:56] I'm sure Sue's about

[30:57] to get to it,

[30:58] you know,

[30:59] Estelle Warren's like,

[31:00] oh,

[31:00] here,

[31:01] use this

[31:01] Trank gun

[31:03] and the best way

[31:03] to hunt kangaroos

[31:04] from above.

[31:05] You gotta get

[31:06] like a bush pilot.

[31:07] And so they,

[31:08] this guy passes out

[31:09] and then they call

[31:10] the bush pilot

[31:11] and hear his phone

[31:12] ringing in his pocket

[31:13] and,

[31:14] you know,

[31:15] discover,

[31:15] of course,

[31:16] and that bit

[31:17] I actually enjoy.

[31:19] It's a good bit,

[31:19] yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[31:20] Yeah,

[31:20] so they meet

[31:21] a bush pilot

[31:23] named Blue,

[31:24] I think,

Elliott Kalan

[31:25] who is getting.

[31:26] I wish I knew a song

[31:27] that he could sing

[31:28] about his name

[31:29] where he's just making it clear

[31:30] what his name is

[31:31] and who he is.

[31:32] I mean,

[31:32] that's just how he lives in.

[31:33] At this point,

Stuart Wellington

[31:34] it's my own fault

[31:34] for saying that damn word

[31:35] around you.

Elliott Kalan

[31:36] No,

[31:37] you know,

[31:38] I just,

[31:38] I wish,

[31:39] this was actually,

[31:40] I want to interrupt

[31:40] just for a tale

[31:41] of real life.

[31:42] This is yesterday

[31:42] when my kids

[31:44] in the back of my car

[31:45] started singing

[31:46] that song

[31:46] out of nowhere

[31:47] and my wife turned to me

[31:48] and she was like,

[31:49] you made this happen.

[31:50] Like,

[31:50] you're responsible

[31:51] for this

[31:52] and I was like,

[31:52] and I'm loving it.

[31:53] Just that they

[31:54] spontaneously both sang,

[31:55] I'm blue,

[31:56] da-boo-dee-da-boo

[31:57] but they weren't aware

[31:58] of the spoken word

[31:59] intro to the song

[32:00] which I had to relay

[32:01] to them

[32:01] where it's like,

[32:02] this is a story

[32:03] about a blue guy

[32:05] and he lives

[32:05] in a blue world

[32:06] and everything is blue.

[32:08] I love it

[32:08] that they're like,

[32:09] this song

[32:09] is a little complicated.

[32:11] We better explain

[32:11] the premise ahead of time.

[32:13] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[32:13] Here's an opening

[32:14] crawl for you.

Elliott Kalan

[32:16] I'm blue,

[32:17] episode one,

[32:18] the blue menace.

[32:19] So everything's blue,

[32:20] right?

[32:20] This guy is blue

[32:21] and everything's blue?

[32:22] Yep.

[32:24] It is a blue time

[32:25] for the galaxy.

[32:26] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[32:27] So yeah,

[32:27] we meet Blue

[32:28] who's played by

[32:29] Bill Hunter,

[32:30] you said?

[32:30] Yeah,

[32:31] Bill Hunter.

[32:32] And we also meet

[32:32] Jessie who's a

[32:34] young American woman

[32:35] who is working

[32:35] for the Wildlife

[32:36] Foundation Federation,

[32:38] something like that.

[32:39] Yeah.

[32:39] And she suggests

[32:41] that Lewis

[32:42] get a tranquilizer gun

[32:44] and a plane

[32:44] to hunt down

[32:45] this kangaroo.

[32:47] We find out,

[32:48] of course,

[32:50] they hire the

[32:51] bush pilot,

[32:52] they get a tranq gun.

[32:53] I don't know,

[32:54] this seems like

[32:54] a small town,

[32:55] so it's weird

[32:56] that he's just like,

[32:56] he went to the

[32:57] fucking general store

[32:58] and was like,

[32:58] yeah,

[32:59] I'll take a tranquilizer gun

[33:00] with one tranquilizer dart,

[33:01] please.

[33:01] Oh, I assume that she gave him that.

[33:02] Oh, maybe.

[33:03] I assume he got it

[33:04] from her also, yeah.

[33:05] I think there's like

[33:06] a peddler somewhere

[33:07] who's like,

[33:08] oh,

[33:08] look at my wares,

[33:10] traveler.

Elliott Kalan

[33:12] I mayhaps

[33:13] I possess what ye seek.

Dan McCoy

[33:15] No,

[33:15] there's no way

Elliott Kalan

[33:15] you could have a tranq gun.

[33:16] A tranq gun?

Dan McCoy

[33:17] The strong potion?

[33:20] Yeah.

[33:20] Or this rope?

Elliott Kalan

[33:22] Oh, I want

[33:23] the strong potion.

[33:24] That'll be 20 gold pieces.

[33:27] Gonna give you

[33:27] like a credit card

[33:28] or owe me a favor?

[33:30] the economy here.

[33:32] Three opals.

[33:34] Oh, wow.

[33:35] You have to pay me

[33:36] in toes.

[33:38] My own

[33:39] or someone else's?

[33:40] Maybe not picky.

Stuart Wellington

[33:41] Dealer's choice.

[33:42] If you pre-order it,

[33:44] you get a DLC bonus

[33:45] of 24 toes.

Dan McCoy

[33:46] Yeah,

[33:48] you get the steel book.

[33:49] Yeah, sure.

[33:49] Wow,

[33:50] more than one character

[33:51] in this universe

[33:51] uses toes.

[33:53] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[33:53] Okay,

[33:54] so...

[33:55] It's Australia, Dan.

[33:56] It's a nation

[33:57] started by criminals.

[33:58] It's gonna be...

[33:59] Toes are our currency

[34:00] over there, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[34:01] So they've lost the money

[34:02] and they're stressing out,

[34:03] but they're not the only

[34:04] people who are stressed out.

[34:05] That's right.

[34:06] Multiple groups

[34:06] of gangsters

[34:07] are mad at them.

[34:08] The person they're

[34:09] supposed to meet,

[34:10] Mr. Smith,

[34:10] played by Martin Sockes,

[34:12] you might know him

[34:13] as Celeborn

[34:15] from the Lord of the Rings

[34:16] series.

[34:17] Okay.

[34:18] Husband to Galadriel.

Elliott Kalan

[34:20] Come on, Dan.

[34:20] You know Celeborn.

[34:21] Dan,

[34:22] you probably know him better

[34:24] as Trevor Goodchild

[34:25] in the Aeon Flux film.

[34:27] Oh, yeah,

[34:28] that's true.

[34:28] I did watch that movie,

Dan McCoy

[34:29] but I don't remember.

Elliott Kalan

[34:29] Or perhaps as Jack Bartz

[34:32] in Abraham Lincoln

[34:32] Vampire Hunter,

[34:33] a movie we have flopped before.

[34:35] Okay, again,

[34:35] not a memorable character,

Stuart Wellington

[34:37] per se.

[34:37] He was also,

[34:38] I think,

[34:38] the villain.

[34:39] Was he the villain

[34:40] in the first

[34:41] Triple X movie?

Elliott Kalan

[34:42] Yes, I believe so.

[34:44] He's Yorgi

[34:44] in Triple X.

Stuart Wellington

[34:45] Yorgi.

[34:46] You know Yorgi.

[34:47] Yorgi doesn't fuck around.

[34:48] He's a bad guy.

[34:48] Pretty big career

[34:49] from a guy

[34:49] I don't recognize at all.

Elliott Kalan

[34:51] Dan, perhaps,

[34:52] did you see him

[34:52] when he played George

[34:54] in a revival

[34:54] of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf

[34:55] at the Belvoir Theater

[34:57] in Sydney, Australia?

[34:58] Is that where you know him from?

[34:59] I did not fly out

Stuart Wellington

[35:00] for that one.

[35:00] Okay.

[35:01] Oh, man.

[35:02] Elliot saw that one, though.

[35:03] Okay, so,

[35:04] he plays a character named

[35:06] Mr. Smith,

[35:07] and he's mad at them.

[35:08] Going to Washington.

[35:09] So he's starting

[35:09] to track him down.

[35:10] And also,

[35:12] Sal is mad

[35:15] that they have lost the money.

[35:16] So he sends Frankie,

[35:18] of course,

[35:18] played by Michael Shannon,

[35:19] to Australia as well.

[35:20] So we got two groups

[35:21] of gangsters

[35:22] looking for our guys.

Elliott Kalan

[35:23] He was also in Dreamhouse.

[35:23] He was in two different

[35:24] flop movies.

[35:25] Oh, no.

[35:26] He's crushing it.

Stuart Wellington

[35:27] Yeah.

[35:27] This is three for three

[35:29] for him.

[35:30] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[35:32] Put his name up on the board.

[35:33] Dan, put the plaque

[35:34] with his name up

[35:34] on your wall.

Dan McCoy

[35:36] You know,

[35:37] Dreamhouse was worth it

[35:38] for getting those

[35:38] two crazy kids together.

[35:39] You know what I mean?

Stuart Wellington

[35:40] That's how I feel

[35:41] about the third season

[35:42] of Fargo.

[35:43] Yeah.

[35:44] The second season

[35:45] of Fargo.

[35:46] Gigli.

Dan McCoy

[35:47] Gigli.

[35:48] That broke them up,

[35:49] I think.

[35:49] Oh.

[35:50] They got back together

[35:50] eventually.

Elliott Kalan

[35:51] So it brought them

[35:52] back together

[35:52] in the long run,

[35:53] yeah.

[35:54] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[35:54] The thing,

[35:55] yeah,

[35:55] they were shooting

[35:56] a season of Fargo

[35:57] and they got canceled.

[36:00] That would be great.

[36:01] I would love to see

[36:02] Ben Affleck

[36:03] try and play a guy

[36:04] with a Fargo accent.

[36:07] I think he could do it.

[36:08] I think he could do it.

[36:10] But he would have to wear

[36:11] a Red Sox hat

[36:12] the whole time.

[36:13] Yes.

[36:13] So, okay.

[36:15] Charlie and Lewis

[36:16] are up in a bush plane

[36:18] hunting down

[36:19] I'm just going to call him

[36:20] Jack from now on,

[36:21] okay?

[36:21] Yeah, sure.

[36:22] Everyone's going to

[36:22] keep track of that.

[36:24] Jack comma kangaroo

[36:25] is what you'll call him.

[36:26] They have him.

[36:27] JK.

[36:27] They have a whoopsie

[36:28] and they accidentally

[36:29] shoot the pilot

[36:30] in the back of the head

[36:31] with the tranquilizer dart.

[36:34] So they crash.

[36:35] It's very exciting.

[36:35] Lewis does the classic thing

Elliott Kalan

[36:36] people do in movies

[36:37] which is they have someone

[36:38] in their sights

[36:39] and instead of shooting

[36:39] at that moment,

[36:40] they then talk

[36:41] as they go,

[36:42] now I got you.

[36:44] There's no getting away

[36:45] from me now.

[36:46] Gonna pull the trigger

[36:47] right now

[36:48] in three,

[36:50] two,

[36:50] watch out for it.

[36:51] Oh, he got away.

Stuart Wellington

[36:54] So they crash

[36:55] but they all survive.

[36:56] Thank God, right?

[36:56] Thank God.

[36:57] Oh.

[36:58] So they have to-

[36:58] I did thank God

[36:59] at that moment.

Elliott Kalan

[37:00] I said Adonai,

[37:01] blessed are your many blessings

[37:03] on this earth.

[37:04] Thank you for creating

[37:04] the fruit of the vine.

[37:05] Thank you for creating

[37:06] the bread of the earth

[37:07] and the trees of the fields,

[37:09] the animals of the earth,

[37:10] creating this beautiful universe

[37:11] for us to inhabit in

[37:12] and to take care of.

[37:14] Thank you,

[37:15] creator of life,

[37:15] for saving these three men

[37:17] in their plane crash

[37:17] in Kangaroo Jack.

Stuart Wellington

[37:19] Yeah.

[37:19] So after Elliot's done

[37:21] with that,

[37:22] they end up having

[37:23] to hike across the desert

[37:24] because they are going

[37:25] to try and track down

[37:26] that young woman

[37:27] to see if she can help

[37:28] them find that kangaroo.

[37:31] While they are lost

[37:32] in the desert,

[37:33] they encounter a series

[37:34] of supposed mirages.

[37:36] The first is a jeep

[37:38] left unattended

[37:38] that is full of all

[37:40] of Jerry O'Connell's

[37:41] character's favorite things.

[37:42] But we realize

[37:44] this is a mirage.

[37:44] So this is going to set up

[37:45] the next joke,

[37:46] which is hilarious.

[37:46] That's kind of a funny moment.

Elliott Kalan

[37:48] It's kind of a funny moment,

[37:49] that first mirage.

[37:50] It's okay.

Stuart Wellington

[37:51] He gets to do

[37:51] some physical comedy.

[37:52] The next thing is

[37:54] riding up on a camel

[37:56] is Jessie,

[37:57] this young woman

[37:58] that they had met earlier

[37:59] or Lewis had met earlier.

[38:01] And Jerry O'Connell,

[38:02] Charlie,

[38:03] still believes

[38:03] that she is a mirage.

[38:05] So he does what

[38:06] anyone here would do

[38:08] is he immediately

[38:09] grabs her breasts.

[38:10] This is what I was going

[38:11] to ask you guys.

[38:12] If you were...

[38:13] No.

[38:14] If you were...

Elliott Kalan

[38:15] The answer is no.

[38:16] Wait, I want to hear it out.

[38:17] I want to hear the whole question.

[38:19] Maybe the question is

[38:20] if you saw a mirage woman,

[38:21] would you not

[38:22] immediately grab her breasts?

[38:23] In which case,

[38:23] my answer would be yes.

[38:24] But so Dan,

[38:25] what's your question?

Dan McCoy

[38:26] So there's this woman.

[38:27] You believe her to be

[38:28] sort of a spectral

[38:29] imagined figure.

[38:31] Yeah.

[38:32] And she's a beautiful woman

Elliott Kalan

[38:33] riding a camel.

[38:34] You don't expect to see

[38:35] this in the desert.

[38:36] Your friend,

[38:36] of course,

[38:37] could yell at any moment,

[38:38] oh, I know her.

[38:39] Refuses to.

[38:40] Wants to see how

[38:40] the situation plays out.

[38:41] Your reaction.

Dan McCoy

[38:43] For this ghostly lady,

[38:46] would you grab at her?

[38:48] Would I assault her?

[38:49] Yeah.

[38:49] Would that be the...

Elliott Kalan

[38:50] Would you pull an Al Franken on her?

[38:51] No, I don't think I would.

[38:53] No, I don't.

[38:53] But it was a bit.

[38:55] I don't think that's the first

[38:55] reaction.

[38:57] It's such a...

[38:58] Again,

[38:58] if these were moron characters...

[38:59] Here's the thing.

[39:00] Here's the thing.

[39:01] If this was Dumb and Dumber,

[39:02] you would have those characters

[39:03] grab her boobs,

[39:04] not for a sexual reason,

[39:05] but because that's the part

[39:06] of her body

[39:06] that they would assume

[39:07] they would...

[39:08] To see if she's real or not.

[39:09] They would talk it out

[39:10] ahead of time

[39:11] or something like that.

[39:12] And they'd be like,

[39:12] we'll have to...

[39:14] The only way to see

[39:14] if she's real

[39:15] is to touch her in some way.

[39:16] Well, what part of her body

[39:17] is closest to us?

[39:18] Those ones.

[39:19] Okay.

[39:20] Like, I could almost...

[39:21] If it was a non-sexual thing,

[39:22] I could almost buy this

[39:23] as a joke.

[39:24] What the fucking gymnastics

[39:25] Elliot has to do

[39:26] to explain this shit.

[39:27] I know.

[39:27] But just the...

[39:28] And it's one of those things

[39:29] where it's like,

[39:29] if you asked me,

[39:30] do I think Jerry O'Connell

[39:31] would do that?

[39:33] He seems like kind of

[39:33] a skeevy guy.

[39:34] Yeah, maybe he would.

Dan McCoy

[39:36] I actually think he seems

[39:38] in real life kind of nice,

[39:39] but has like kind of

[39:40] like a skeevy

[39:41] like demeanor about him.

[39:43] I mean, I don't...

Stuart Wellington

[39:44] Unlike his co-star

[39:45] in this movie,

[39:45] I don't think there are

[39:46] outstanding allegations

[39:47] against him.

[39:48] No, that's true.

[39:49] That's true.

Dan McCoy

[39:49] I get the impression

[39:52] that he's actually nice,

[39:53] but he has this like

[39:54] smug unlikeability

[39:56] on camera

[39:57] that he's become

[39:59] a better actor

[39:59] as he's leaned into.

[40:01] Yes, yeah.

[40:01] I think you're right.

[40:02] Oh, let me play

[40:03] my Piranha 3D

[40:05] style characters

[40:06] or whatever, but...

Elliott Kalan

[40:07] Yeah, and that's...

[40:08] Maybe that's...

[40:08] Maybe that's mixing up

[40:09] the character and stuff

[40:10] because as you're saying,

[40:11] unlike Anthony Anderson,

[40:12] there are no...

[40:12] There are no...

[40:13] Yeah.

[40:13] There are no ongoing things.

[40:15] But it's such a weird thing

[40:18] for a character to do.

[40:19] It doesn't make any sense.

[40:20] It's very bizarre.

Stuart Wellington

[40:21] And it's the sort of thing

[40:22] that again,

[40:22] if they were idiots

[40:23] and there was no...

[40:25] You were at no point

[40:26] supposed to be

[40:26] really sympathetic toward him.

[40:28] It might work.

[40:31] But in this case,

[40:32] it doesn't work.

[40:33] Well, it kind of does.

[40:34] She punches him in the face

[40:35] and it knocks him out.

[40:36] So we are gifted.

[40:37] So we get that.

[40:38] We are treated

[40:39] to the best thing.

[40:40] We are treated

[40:41] to what we plunked

[40:42] our hard-earned money down for.

[40:44] Which is to see

[40:44] Jerry O'Connell

[40:45] get punched in the face.

[40:46] We get a dream sequence

[40:48] where Kangaroo Jack

[40:49] does a very...

[40:51] Oh, this is what

[40:51] we plunked our money down for.

[40:52] Sings along to

[40:53] Rapper's Delight

[40:55] while we bounce in our seat

[40:57] dancing along.

[40:58] We get some more

[40:59] dream stuff as well.

Elliott Kalan

[41:02] And eventually...

[41:02] He imagines that

[41:03] the other characters

[41:03] are also kangaroos

[41:05] talking to him.

[41:06] That there's a Christopher Walken kangaroo

[41:08] and Anthony Anderson kangaroo.

[41:09] But the...

[41:10] I was amazed.

[41:12] Again, having not seen this movie,

[41:13] having only seen the trailer,

[41:14] but knowing that there wasn't

[41:15] that much talking kangaroo stuff

[41:16] in the movie,

[41:17] I was amazed even with that

[41:18] at how little

[41:19] the kangaroo Jack kangaroo talks

[41:22] and how little he raps,

[41:23] how completely out of nowhere

[41:24] the rapping is.

Dan McCoy

[41:25] It's more kangaroo rapping,

[41:27] says Ellie.

Elliott Kalan

[41:28] Well, if you're gonna do it,

[41:29] do it.

[41:30] Like, if you're gonna do it,

[41:31] make something...

[41:31] Instead of him going,

[41:32] I can't just talk.

[41:33] I can sing.

[41:34] A hip.

[41:34] A hop.

[41:35] And I know they picked that one

[41:36] because, again,

[41:37] it's a go-to rap.

[41:38] And the hopping.

[41:39] And he's a kangaroo who jumps.

[41:40] But they don't do anything with it.

[41:42] It's just...

[41:42] It's very lazy.

[41:43] I guess what I'm saying,

[41:44] this rapping kangaroo scene

Stuart Wellington

[41:45] is very lazy.

[41:47] It would make more sense

[41:49] if they were listening

[41:50] to this song on the radio

[41:52] when they hit him

[41:53] with their car.

[41:54] Yes.

[41:54] Yeah.

[41:55] Because that would at least

[41:55] explain some of it.

Dan McCoy

[41:57] I love this.

[41:58] Let's have Stu's script

[41:59] talk to the whole thing.

Stuart Wellington

[42:00] I can't believe...

[42:01] I can't believe we're trying

[42:02] to Monday morning

[42:03] quarterback this.

Elliott Kalan

[42:04] And so the whole thing is

[42:06] they didn't survive

[42:07] that plane crash.

[42:08] Everything that's happening

[42:09] from that moment on

[42:09] is a hallucination

[42:10] in the last moments

[42:11] of Jerry O'Connell's life.

[42:13] That explains a lot.

[42:15] Yeah.

[42:15] Okay.

[42:16] Now, I also believe

[42:17] this was a last-minute

[42:18] add to the movie.

[42:19] They probably didn't have

[42:19] a lot of money

[42:20] to put into it.

[42:20] So I imagine that's why

[42:21] it's not much longer.

[42:23] But it is...

[42:25] It feels like,

[42:25] why bother at this point?

[42:26] Yeah.

[42:27] Why bother?

Stuart Wellington

[42:28] So they are...

[42:29] They team up with Jesse

[42:30] to trek across the desert

[42:32] to go to a watering hole

[42:34] that they believe

[42:35] the kangaroo may be at.

[42:37] Over the course of this point,

[42:38] we have seen multiple shots

[42:40] of Kangaroo Jack

[42:42] kind of doing kangaroo stuff,

[42:44] but also fishing candy

[42:46] out of the pockets

[42:47] of this lucky jacket

[42:48] and reacting to them.

[42:50] And we get some bits

[42:50] and he makes little sounds.

[42:52] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[42:52] He likes Twizzlers,

[42:53] but he doesn't like,

[42:54] later on, of course,

[42:54] the hot...

[42:55] The hot...

[42:56] Spicy candy, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[42:57] And every time

[42:58] you see Kangaroo Jack,

[42:59] the same music plays,

[43:00] and I came to hate

[43:01] this music so much,

[43:02] that's like...

[43:02] Beep, pew, pew,

Stuart Wellington

[43:03] beep, pew, pew.

[43:04] Yeah, it's like a...

[43:05] Beep, pew, pew.

[43:06] It's like a Dr. Dre sample

[43:07] or something, right?

Dan McCoy

[43:09] Yeah, it's...

[43:10] Well, I mean,

[43:10] I don't know if it specifically is,

[43:12] but it sounds like,

[43:13] yes,

[43:13] the background sample

[43:14] from something of that era.

Elliott Kalan

[43:17] And they're trying so hard

[43:19] with it to make Kangaroo Jack

[43:20] seem like kind of a

[43:21] cool bad boy, I guess,

[43:22] or like a funny prankster.

[43:23] They're trying so hard

[43:24] to make him fucking...

[43:24] Oh, he's got a Brooklyn jacket

Dan McCoy

[43:25] on now, Elliot.

[43:27] He's got attitude.

Elliott Kalan

[43:28] Yeah.

[43:29] They're trying so hard

[43:30] to make him a Bugs Bunny.

[43:31] And you know what?

[43:32] Yeah, they want him

[43:32] to be a Looney Tunes character

[43:33] so badly,

[43:33] but all he does is nothing.

[43:35] Although,

[43:35] but you do get the great

[43:36] animal vocal effects

[43:37] of Frank Welker.

[43:39] And what's funny is

[43:40] it sounds like Frank Welker

[43:41] doing animal effects.

[43:42] Like, I recognize

[43:42] that animal sound

[43:44] from other animal sounds

[43:45] he's done in the past.

[43:46] Was that Frank Welker

[43:47] doing the rap?

[43:48] No, I don't believe so.

[43:50] I believe the...

[43:51] The voice was uncredited.

[43:52] That's in his contract meal raps.

[43:54] According to Wikipedia,

[43:55] the uncredited voice

[43:56] of Jackie Legg's kangaroo,

[43:59] I believe it's Adam Garcia,

[44:00] it says here,

[44:00] who is a...

[44:01] Who does a lot of musicals.

[44:03] Mostly a stage actor,

[44:04] it sounds like.

Stuart Wellington

[44:05] Yeah, I mean,

[44:06] it's all on screen.

[44:07] He clearly has stage training.

[44:09] Okay, so they team up

[44:11] with Jesse

[44:12] to go across the desert.

[44:13] This is a scene

[44:14] where we see

[44:16] the three of our heroes

[44:17] riding around on camels

[44:18] that will not stop farting.

[44:20] It's hilarious.

[44:21] Everybody's cracking up.

Dan McCoy

[44:23] This farting goes on so long.

[44:25] A lot of farting.

[44:25] Like, I could forgive

[44:26] like a couple of

[44:28] camel fart jokes, honestly,

[44:29] but the longer it goes on,

[44:32] the funnier it does not get.

[44:33] They really think

[44:35] it's hilarious.

Elliott Kalan

[44:36] That we cannot get enough of this.

Stuart Wellington

[44:37] They need to set up...

[44:39] So this is an important scene

[44:40] plot-wise

[44:40] because it reveals

[44:41] what's going to happen

[44:42] at the very end of the movie.

[44:44] Yes.

[44:44] They discover...

[44:45] This is the kind of

Elliott Kalan

[44:46] tight Cracker Jack

[44:47] Chekhov plotting

[44:49] that you were looking for

[44:50] with the radio

[44:50] playing the song

[44:51] that Jack sings.

[44:52] Yeah, yeah.

[44:52] They discover some kind of

Stuart Wellington

[44:54] berries in the outback

[44:55] that smell really good

[44:56] and they want to use it

[44:57] in shampoo.

[44:58] Yeah.

[44:58] But in order to make this scene

[45:00] a little more fun

[45:01] for the audience,

[45:02] they add a ton

[45:02] of farting effects.

[45:03] So they go to this oasis.

[45:05] They set up an ambush

[45:07] to try and ambush Jack.

[45:09] They learn how to make bolos

[45:11] and throw bolos.

[45:12] But of course,

[45:13] Louis messes it all up.

[45:15] Jack gets away.

[45:16] They're all mad

[45:17] and disappointed.

[45:18] So they do the only thing

[45:19] that makes sense.

[45:21] They go into the local

[45:23] swimming hole together

[45:24] and Dan gets his wet

[45:25] t-shirt scene

[45:26] that he's been begging for.

[45:28] Yeah.

[45:28] He's been drooling over

[45:29] the whole time.

Dan McCoy

[45:31] I just think it's wild

[45:32] that they turned it

[45:33] and they're like,

[45:33] we got to make this

[45:34] into a family comedy.

[45:36] Dan's like,

[45:37] show the bottoms too.

[45:38] We got to lose the

[45:41] Estella Warren

[45:41] wet t-shirt scene

[45:42] that no,

[45:43] no,

[45:43] we're not cutting that out.

[45:44] No,

[45:44] no,

[45:45] God,

[45:45] no.

[45:46] It does feel edited.

[45:48] It does feel like

[45:49] they cut it down.

[45:50] Do you think this was

Elliott Kalan

[45:50] a nudity scene

[45:52] or a sex scene

[45:53] in the original cut?

[45:53] Is that your opinion?

Dan McCoy

[45:55] No,

[45:55] I don't think it was that.

[45:56] I just think that

[45:57] they probably had

[45:57] more of it

[45:58] because they have

[45:59] a little of it

[46:00] but I bet it was

[46:01] more like drooling

[46:03] in the R-rated version.

Stuart Wellington

[46:05] Yeah,

[46:06] yeah.

[46:06] And Jerry O'Connell

[46:08] has got a pretty hard body there.

[46:09] I'm like,

[46:09] oh,

[46:10] what's he been doing?

[46:10] A lot of free weights.

[46:13] Yeah,

[46:13] a lot of free weights.

[46:14] What kind of working out?

Elliott Kalan

[46:16] Low fat proteins.

Stuart Wellington

[46:17] After this swimming scene

[46:19] it immediately cuts.

Elliott Kalan

[46:21] In the swimming scene

[46:21] Estella Warren

[46:22] flirts with Jerry O'Connell

[46:24] the man who assaulted her

[46:25] the first time

[46:25] that they met.

[46:25] Yeah,

[46:25] this is a wild

Dan McCoy

[46:27] progression.

[46:29] Like,

[46:30] we've seen nothing

[46:31] that indicates

[46:32] that she

[46:32] would be falling for him

[46:34] but apparently

[46:35] at this point in the film

[46:36] they have a passion

[46:37] for each other.

[46:38] The beginning at least

[46:39] of one.

[46:40] There's something about

Stuart Wellington

[46:41] there's something about

[46:42] him making moves

[46:44] on her

[46:44] when she's already like

[46:45] don't get in the water

[46:46] and he's like

[46:47] I'm gonna get in the water

[46:48] and then he's like

[46:49] approaching her

[46:50] and the whole time

[46:51] I'm thinking

[46:52] she is a woman

[46:53] on her own

[46:53] in the wilderness.

[46:55] She's already been

[46:55] assaulted by this guy.

[46:58] You're saying

[46:58] she should have

[46:59] murdered him

Elliott Kalan

[46:59] like would have happened

[47:00] in many other

[47:01] Australian films.

[47:02] Yeah.

[47:02] I keep saying this

[47:03] as if this is an

[47:04] Australian movie.

[47:04] This is not a

[47:05] I don't believe

[47:06] this is an Australian

[47:06] production.

Dan McCoy

[47:07] I'm pretty sure

[47:08] Peter Weir made this.

Stuart Wellington

[47:10] Yeah.

[47:11] It was a Peter Weir film.

[47:14] Hugo Weaving's

[47:15] in this right?

[47:16] That's how you know

[47:16] it's Australian.

[47:17] Well not

[47:17] it's a different Hugo

[47:19] but he is weaving.

[47:20] Oh nice.

[47:21] There's a little kid

[47:22] from Hugo

[47:22] and he's weaving

[47:23] like a rug.

Elliott Kalan

[47:25] And of course

[47:26] their possible rendezvous

[47:29] is interrupted

[47:30] by Lewis cannonballing

[47:32] into the water

[47:32] and he doesn't know

[47:33] how deep that water is.

[47:34] He may have just

[47:34] killed himself.

[47:35] He may break his neck

[47:36] on that.

[47:36] Well later

Dan McCoy

[47:36] fucking spoiler

[47:37] I'm sorry

[47:38] I gotta bring it up now.

[47:39] It's so wild.

[47:40] He cannonballs

[47:40] into a hot tub

[47:43] on a yacht.

[47:43] I'm like

[47:44] your legs are broken

[47:45] sir.

Elliott Kalan

[47:48] Oh man

[47:49] that would be great.

[47:50] That was a

[47:50] there was

[47:51] more cartoon physics

[47:52] in that moment

[47:53] than there was

[47:54] in every time

[47:54] we saw the animated

[47:55] kangaroo.

[47:56] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[47:57] Okay.

[47:57] So they

[47:58] so we cut

[47:59] That's what my favorite

Elliott Kalan

[47:59] also with Dan MD

[48:01] I love that

[48:01] that's your bedside manners

[48:02] you go up to him

[48:03] and you go

[48:03] your legs are broken sir.

[48:05] Like it's real Karen energy

[48:06] with the way you talk

[48:07] to your patients.

Dan McCoy

[48:08] Hey sir

[48:09] man

[48:10] in the other ward

[48:11] there's someone out

[48:12] someone in there

[48:13] who did nothing

[48:14] to deserve

[48:14] what they're going through

[48:16] and I'm in here

[48:17] fixing your broken legs

[48:18] because you thought

[48:18] it was funny

[48:19] to cannonball

[48:20] into a hot tub.

[48:21] What were you thinking?

[48:22] You are wasting my time

[48:24] and you are

[48:24] putting my other

[48:25] patients lives

[48:26] in jeopardy.

[48:27] Yeah

[48:27] just like house

Stuart Wellington

[48:28] yeah

[48:28] can I talk to your

[48:30] manager patient?

Elliott Kalan

[48:31] I need to talk

[48:31] to your manager

[48:31] about this.

Stuart Wellington

[48:33] So we go straight

[48:33] from this swimming hole

[48:34] scene to them

[48:35] Actually house MD

Elliott Kalan

[48:35] house McCoy

[48:36] comma Dan

[48:37] it makes sense

[48:37] yeah

[48:37] that's the same guy

[48:38] So they're woken up

[48:40] by

[48:41] He gave me all the

[48:42] curlews

[48:42] Mr. Policeman

[48:43] yeah

[48:43] He gave Stuart

Dan McCoy

[48:46] a chance to drink

[48:47] some of his broth

[48:48] I'm assuming

Stuart Wellington

[48:48] Yeah

[48:49] my thermos

[48:50] of bone broth

[48:51] Yeah

[48:51] Eli broth

[48:52] That's barely a joke

Elliott Kalan

[48:56] dude

[48:56] I didn't really

[48:58] put a lot of energy

[48:59] into it

[48:59] Okay

Stuart Wellington

[49:01] So they're woken up

[49:03] from

[49:04] they're probably

[49:04] all tuckered out

[49:05] from swimming together

[49:06] so they go to sleep

[49:07] they're woken up

[49:07] the next morning

[49:08] so how much time

[49:09] has passed

[49:09] have they eaten food?

[49:11] I don't think so

Elliott Kalan

[49:11] I think they had a few

[49:12] they had a handful

[49:13] of berries at one point

Stuart Wellington

[49:14] that's enough

[49:15] yeah

[49:15] They don't have any

[49:16] they went to

[49:17] Australia with like

[49:18] no luggage

[49:19] or did it all

[49:19] explode?

[49:21] Maybe it was in the jeeps

[49:22] They got sidetracked

[49:23] pretty quickly

[49:24] Why'd they leave

[49:24] all their

[49:25] Yeah

[49:26] Okay

[49:27] I'd be freaking out

Elliott Kalan

[49:29] I just gotta have

[49:29] my stuff

[49:30] you know

[49:30] I gotta have

[49:31] my stuff guys

[49:31] Maybe they did bring

[49:32] no luggage

[49:33] or else they would've

[49:33] had

[49:33] or they wouldn't

[49:34] have had

[49:34] a loose envelope

[49:35] full of cash

[49:36] that they're just

[49:37] walking around with

Stuart Wellington

[49:38] Okay

[49:38] So they get captured

[49:39] by the Australian

[49:41] like bounty hunter

[49:42] hitman guy

[49:43] Mr. Smith

[49:44] and his two goons

[49:45] He splits them up

[49:47] Mr. Smith

Elliott Kalan

[49:47] who they were supposed

[49:48] to give this money to

[49:49] He knows

[49:50] that they

[49:51] he thinks

[49:52] they've cheated him

[49:53] Yeah

Stuart Wellington

[49:53] Yeah

[49:53] That's money

[49:55] that's owed to him

[49:56] so he

[49:57] takes

[49:58] Jesse off

[49:59] to find the kangaroo

[50:01] and he sends his goons

[50:03] to take

[50:03] our other heroes

[50:05] away

[50:06] They turn the tables

[50:08] they distract

[50:09] the goons

[50:10] they manage to

[50:13] get guns

[50:14] on Smith

[50:15] They steal a gun

Elliott Kalan

[50:16] off of the camel

[50:17] and they save Jesse

[50:19] Tables are turned

Stuart Wellington

[50:20] we're like

[50:20] hooray

[50:21] everything's good

[50:21] It's pretty half-assed

[50:22] No

[50:23] Because

[50:23] at this point

[50:24] Frankie shows up

[50:26] Frankie has been

[50:27] in Australia

[50:27] for a little bit

[50:28] He has gone

[50:29] through a series

[50:30] of guides

[50:30] to lead him

[50:31] on his path

[50:32] to finding our heroes

Elliott Kalan

[50:33] Each time he gets

[50:34] the information he needs

[50:35] he throws them

[50:36] out of a jeep

[50:36] in an overhead shot

[50:37] which the second time

[50:38] it happened

[50:38] I was like

[50:39] I think it's funny

[50:40] that they repeated this

[50:41] Yeah

[50:41] And again

[50:42] Michael Shannon

[50:43] is inhabiting this character

[50:44] in a way that

[50:45] nobody else does

[50:46] So he is genuinely

[50:47] funny at times

Stuart Wellington

[50:48] They have a

[50:49] the gangsters

[50:50] end up getting

[50:51] in a fight

[50:51] with each other

[50:52] Our heroes

[50:54] and Jesse

[50:55] escape

[50:55] and they go

[50:56] after Kangaroo Jack

[50:58] The mobsters

[51:00] crash their jeep

[51:01] through a tight canyon

[51:03] Lewis

[51:04] while riding a camel

[51:05] falls off a cliff

[51:06] Charlie manages

[51:09] to save him

[51:09] at the last minute

[51:10] They're square

[51:11] Then Frankie shows up

[51:14] and he has a gun

[51:15] on them

[51:15] and he explains

[51:16] that the money

[51:16] was actually money

[51:18] to pay Smith

[51:19] to kill them

[51:20] So they were paying

[51:21] somebody else

[51:21] to kill them

Elliott Kalan

[51:22] It's a very weird moment

[51:23] where Frankie shows up

[51:24] and saves them

[51:25] from Smith

[51:26] but then is like

[51:27] actually he's supposed

[51:28] to kill you

[51:29] It's like

[51:29] Frankie

[51:30] why are you here?

[51:31] Why'd you get involved?

[51:32] What's the

[51:33] I think he wanted

[51:34] the honor of killing them

[51:36] Oh possibly

[51:36] That makes sense

[51:37] So they would serve him

Dan McCoy

[51:38] in Del Hala

[51:39] There's too many shenanigans

[51:39] going on

[51:40] They had evaded

[51:43] being killed

[51:44] for long enough

[51:45] that it seemed

[51:47] like a cleanup crew

[51:48] needed to go in

[51:48] Now why he stopped him

[51:49] at that point

[51:50] from just doing it

[51:51] That's more

[51:52] Who knows

[51:52] Other than like

[51:53] he doesn't want

[51:54] to have to pay

[51:54] the money

[51:55] at that point

[51:55] because the deal

[51:57] is gone

[51:57] Maybe that's it

[51:58] Maybe that's it

[51:59] So far

[51:59] bad

[51:59] But like

[52:00] that is

[52:00] cold-blooded

[52:01] of Christopher Walken

[52:02] to have his

[52:04] surrogate child

[52:06] deliver the money

[52:07] for his own

[52:08] Dan

Elliott Kalan

[52:08] I hate to break it to you

[52:09] Mob bosses

[52:10] they're not all

[52:11] mafia mamas

[52:11] Look

[52:12] They don't get

[52:13] where they are

[52:13] by being nice to people

[52:14] They're mean people

[52:15] They're bad guys

[52:16] I know that

[52:17] when you live in Brooklyn

[52:18] so you're like

[52:19] John Gotti

[52:20] what a stand-up guy

[52:20] takes care of the neighborhood

[52:22] Oh what a hero

[52:23] That's actually

[52:25] a really good

Stuart Wellington

[52:25] Dan impression

[52:26] right there

[52:26] It's me

Elliott Kalan

[52:27] Dan McCoy

[52:28] Hey I'm from

[52:28] Eureka, Illinois

[52:29] It's how we talk

[52:30] about it

[52:30] I will point out

Stuart Wellington

[52:32] that the way

[52:33] that our heroes talk

[52:34] despite the fact

[52:36] they made a point

[52:36] of being two boys

[52:37] from Brooklyn

[52:38] seem to have

[52:39] no Brooklyn qualities

[52:40] about them

[52:41] No not at all

[52:41] Anthony Anderson

[52:42] is referencing restaurants

[52:43] that do not exist

[52:44] in Brooklyn

[52:45] He has a sweatshirt

[52:48] that says Brooklyn

[52:49] on it though

[52:49] Yeah

[52:50] You know

[52:51] you can just buy those

[52:52] You don't have to be

[52:53] born into it

[52:54] What?

Elliott Kalan

[52:55] I thought that was

[52:56] what they swaddled

[52:57] the babies in

[52:57] when they were born

[52:58] in Brooklyn

[52:58] So I was mad

[52:59] that even though

[53:00] I lived in Brooklyn

[53:00] my son was born

[53:01] in Manhattan

[53:01] because I was like

[53:02] but he's not going

[53:02] to get that cool sweatshirt

[53:03] He's not going

Stuart Wellington

[53:04] to get a cool sweatshirt

[53:05] Yeah

[53:05] Okay so

[53:07] Frankie has a gun

[53:08] on him

[53:08] We think our heroes

[53:10] gooses are cooked

[53:10] Not so fast

[53:12] because a police

[53:13] helicopter shows up

[53:14] being piloted

[53:15] by a guide

[53:17] who was the police

[53:18] chief undercover

[53:19] earlier

[53:20] who was guiding Frankie

[53:21] This is incredibly

Dan McCoy

[53:22] unnecessary

[53:23] Inadequately set up

[53:24] for it

[53:25] to be the guy

[53:27] that saves them

[53:28] at the end of the movie

[53:29] Yeah

Stuart Wellington

[53:29] Frankie tries to run away

[53:31] but Charlie uses

[53:33] his newfound

[53:34] Bolo skills

[53:35] to knock him down

[53:36] He

[53:38] We then have

[53:39] a little moment

[53:39] of friendship

[53:40] between Lewis

[53:41] and Charlie

[53:42] when Jerry O'Connell

[53:43] does a fairly suspect

[53:45] Anthony Anderson impression

[53:46] Like it's the sort of thing

[53:48] where I'm like

[53:49] oh that's not cool

Dan McCoy

[53:50] anymore dude

[53:51] Right in the line

[53:51] I found this moment

[53:54] Don't make fun of me

[53:55] like

[53:55] We were

[53:56] For a brief second

[53:58] I found this moment

[53:59] kind of touching

[54:00] where

[54:01] Anthony Anderson

[54:03] feels like

[54:03] okay well

[54:05] you were only my friend

[54:06] because I saved you

[54:08] and it's all been

[54:08] based on guilt

[54:09] and Jerry O'Connell's response

[54:11] Why else would you be

Elliott Kalan

[54:11] friends with me

[54:12] I caused nothing

[54:13] but trouble

[54:14] and I'm a moron

Dan McCoy

[54:15] Yeah

[54:15] And Jerry O'Connell's

[54:16] response is like

[54:17] you know

[54:18] something I think

[54:19] that is relatable

[54:20] where he's like

[54:20] basically saying like

[54:23] yeah you are

[54:24] this agent of chaos

[54:25] in my life

[54:25] but I need that

[54:27] like

[54:27] all of my best stories

[54:29] begin with you

[54:29] you know

[54:30] obviously like

[54:33] the relationship

[54:34] has meaning

[54:35] to both of them

[54:36] they bring something

[54:36] to each other

[54:37] and then it's all

[54:38] ruined by like

[54:39] this like gay panic

[54:40] moment where he's like

[54:41] you know

[54:41] we're not being gay

[54:42] over here

[54:43] or whatever

[54:43] and I'm just like

[54:44] ugh movie

[54:45] you really like

[54:47] drained out

[54:48] the last little bit

[54:49] of goodwill here

[54:50] Yeah

Elliott Kalan

[54:51] I think it would have been

[54:52] I wish

[54:53] if I had gotten

[54:53] a better sense

[54:54] of their friendship

[54:54] beforehand

[54:55] I think that could have

[54:56] been a very sweet moment

[54:57] I know nothing

[54:58] about their lives

[54:58] other than their friendship

[55:00] and the fact that

[55:00] he owns a hair salon

[55:01] so when he's like

[55:02] all my good stories

[55:03] belong with you

[55:04] you didn't save my life

[55:05] that day

[55:05] you save my life

[55:06] every day

[55:07] I'm like

[55:07] I wish I had seen

[55:09] any of that beforehand

[55:10] but it is

[55:10] it is otherwise

[55:11] a very sweet moment

[55:12] that does not need

[55:14] them to then

[55:14] make sure everyone

[55:16] knows that because

[55:17] they're hugging

[55:17] they're not about

[55:18] to start

[55:18] because they're

[55:18] expressing affection

[55:20] for one another

Stuart Wellington

[55:21] maybe the R-rated cut

[55:23] has a sequence

[55:24] like a

[55:25] end of second act

[55:26] sequence

[55:26] where

[55:27] Charlie and Lewis

[55:28] kind of go

[55:29] their separate ways

[55:30] they like have

[55:30] a friends breakup

[55:31] yeah

[55:32] the Shrek donkey

[55:33] moment

[55:33] where they both

[55:34] like explore

[55:34] their life

[55:35] otherwise

[55:35] and they realize

[55:36] like yeah

[55:37] my life's really

[55:37] boring without Lewis

[55:38] and Lewis is like

[55:39] without Charlie

[55:40] around

[55:41] my life's insane

[55:42] when I first saw

[55:43] Shrek

Dan McCoy

[55:43] when I first saw

[55:45] Shrek

Elliott Kalan

[55:45] oh gather around

[55:46] children

[55:47] it's time for

[55:47] another Dan's

[55:48] Memories of Shrek

[55:49] you fished your

Stuart Wellington

[55:53] movie ticket

[55:54] out of your wallet

[55:55] which was attached

[55:56] to your belt

[55:56] using a chain

Dan McCoy

[55:57] so

[55:58] because he was

[55:59] a cherry popping

Elliott Kalan

[55:59] daddy at the time

Dan McCoy

[56:00] I'm gonna anger

[56:01] the legions of people

[56:02] out there

[56:03] that for some reason

[56:04] still inexplicably

[56:05] like Shrek

[56:05] but

[56:06] because they saw it

[56:06] as a kid

[56:06] there's no other reason

[56:07] yeah

[56:07] I didn't particularly

[56:08] like it at the time

[56:10] I saw it

[56:10] like I felt

[56:12] like there had been

[56:13] all these reviews

[56:13] that were saying

[56:15] oh what a funny twist

[56:16] on this

[56:17] and I watched

[56:18] and I'm like

[56:18] okay well this is

[56:19] like a worse version

[56:20] of fractured fairy tales

[56:22] a thing that has existed

[56:23] you know

[56:23] it didn't feel

[56:25] new to me

[56:25] in the way that

[56:26] people were excited

[56:27] about it

[56:27] and I wasn't

[56:28] enjoying it that much

[56:29] but I was enjoying

[56:29] it enough

[56:30] and then that moment

[56:32] happened

[56:33] where

[56:34] the donkey

[56:35] and Shrek

[56:35] have their falling out

[56:37] and I

[56:38] felt myself

[56:39] deflate

[56:40] exhausted

[56:40] where I'm just like

[56:41] this is the most

[56:43] pro forma

[56:46] yes

[56:46] you know

[56:47] end of second act

[56:50] rift between

[56:51] the main characters

[56:51] for no reason

[56:52] just so we can

[56:53] get them back together

[56:54] and I'm

[56:56] could I never see

[56:57] this in a movie

[56:57] again please

Elliott Kalan

[56:58] and they never

[57:00] use that bit

[57:01] in a movie

[57:02] ever

[57:02] that was the last time

[57:04] Congress passed

[57:05] a law called

[57:06] the Shrek

[57:07] Donkey Act

[57:07] all friends

Dan McCoy

[57:11] must remain

[57:12] friends in movies

[57:13] unless

[57:13] Shrek

Dan McCoy

[57:13] be donkey

[57:14] adequate motivation

[57:16] be given

[57:16] yeah

Stuart Wellington

[57:17] yeah

[57:18] friends will have to

[57:19] remain friends

[57:20] until the crisis

[57:21] is over

[57:22] because come on guys

[57:23] chill out

Elliott Kalan

[57:23] yeah

[57:24] you're both in a

[57:25] stressful situation

[57:26] you can accept a

[57:28] little bit of extra

[57:29] service from each

Dan McCoy

[57:30] other

[57:30] yeah

[57:30] your bond of

[57:31] years

[57:31] well I guess not

[57:32] years in this case

[57:33] but your bond is

[57:34] stronger than this

[57:34] I mean well that's the

Elliott Kalan

[57:35] other thing is that

[57:35] Shrek and Donkey have

[57:36] been friends for like

[57:37] what a couple days at

[57:38] that point

[57:38] all right I've turned

[57:39] around Shrek

[57:39] five stars

[57:40] five stars

Stuart Wellington

[57:41] we did it

[57:42] okay

[57:42] so at this point

[57:45] now they've stopped

[57:46] the bad guys

[57:46] luckily Kangaroo Jack

[57:48] is right there

[57:49] Charlie coaxes him

[57:50] over with a tuft of

[57:51] grass

[57:51] he manages to get

[57:52] the lucky jacket

[57:53] back and the money

[57:54] Jack introduces

[57:56] Charlie to the rest

[57:57] of his kangaroo

[57:58] family

[57:58] he gets

[57:59] introduced

[57:59] is a bit of a

[58:00] stretch

[58:01] they wander over

[58:01] he

[58:02] he gets

[58:04] he gets

[58:05] kicked in the chest

[58:05] names are not exchanged

[58:06] he gets kicked in the chest

[58:08] by another kangaroo

[58:09] and everybody loses

[58:11] their minds

[58:11] the reaction shots

[58:13] are bonkers

[58:14] their eyes are

[58:15] bugging out of their

[58:16] heads

[58:16] their mouths have

[58:17] turned into

[58:18] black hole sun

[58:19] rictuses of

[58:20] enjoyment

Elliott Kalan

[58:20] this is also

[58:22] he's now been

[58:23] kicked in the chest

[58:24] by two different

[58:24] kangaroos

[58:25] one an adult

[58:25] one a child

[58:26] he again

[58:27] his chest is

[58:28] collapsed

[58:28] like his ribs

[58:29] at the very least

[58:30] should be broken

[58:30] a little bit

[58:31] he may be

[58:32] like those kangaroos

[58:32] hit really

[58:33] like kick really hard

Stuart Wellington

[58:34] yep

[58:35] yeah you would expect

[58:36] yeah you would expect

[58:37] like a tiny little

[58:38] Sylvester to be like

[58:39] oh father

[58:40] scared of a mouse

Elliott Kalan

[58:43] my wife does a much

[58:44] better impression of that

[58:45] my own father

[58:46] okay

[58:48] there's

[58:48] like

[58:48] I just wish

[58:50] you want him

[58:52] to stop and be like

[58:52] have you seen

[58:53] how big this mouse is

[58:54] it's enormous

[58:55] look at it

[58:56] do you

Dan McCoy

[58:57] I'm sure that you guys

[58:58] have these things

[58:59] it's really kangaroo

[58:59] hippity hopper

[59:00] yeah

[59:00] when you're a kid

[59:02] like inexplicable things

[59:03] will like very much

[59:05] upset you

[59:05] like not like

[59:06] like you're just like

[59:08] man that is unfair

[59:09] you know

[59:10] like racism

Elliott Kalan

[59:11] sure

[59:12] or

[59:12] yeah and then you get older

[59:13] and you come to understand it

[59:14] and then you come to appreciate it

[59:15] yeah

[59:16] when you get really old

[59:17] you come to embody it

[59:18] yeah

[59:18] no that's not

Dan McCoy

[59:19] I just remember like

[59:21] those hippity hopper ones

[59:23] really upset

Elliott Kalan

[59:24] yeah

[59:25] because it is

[59:26] the idea that

[59:27] the shit

[59:28] like that

[59:28] I know I felt the same way

[59:29] that like this kid is ashamed

[59:31] of his father

[59:31] and the father's feeling embarrassed

[59:33] and he's getting the shit

[59:33] kicked out of him

[59:34] by a kangaroo

[59:35] it's the same way

[59:36] on the reg

[59:37] on the reg

[59:38] exactly

[59:38] yeah constant

[59:39] and the same way that

[59:40] anytime I was watching a sitcom

[59:41] and a character was about to be caught

[59:43] in a misunderstanding

[59:43] I would get very tense

[59:45] and sometimes have to leave the room

[59:46] my wife was telling me about

[59:49] some friends of hers

[59:50] took their kids to see

[59:52] I think it was the new Willy Wonka

[59:55] the new Wonka movie

[59:56] and there's a part where like

[59:58] when it seems like

[59:58] they're about to get in trouble

[1:00:00] they get scared

[1:00:01] you know

[1:00:01] and they don't

[1:00:02] and they don't want to watch it

[1:00:02] and it's like

[1:00:03] yeah kids

[1:00:03] kids get in trouble a lot

[1:00:04] so they don't like to see

[1:00:05] characters getting in trouble

[1:00:06] it's very

[1:00:07] it's more frightening than

[1:00:08] being killed in some ways

[1:00:10] you know

[1:00:11] yeah

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:11] until kids realize that like

[1:00:13] nothing that people can do to them

[1:00:15] matters anymore

[1:00:16] and they're the ones

[1:00:17] with the real power

[1:00:18] oh god

[1:00:19] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:20] I mean when do they

[1:00:21] when do they feel that way

[1:00:22] when does that kick in

[1:00:23] I'm still waiting for that

[1:00:24] when they realize that like

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:24] when like

[1:00:25] you can't do anything to them

[1:00:27] as a parent

[1:00:27] because they'll just like

[1:00:28] call CPS or some crap

[1:00:30] I mean it's certainly

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:30] the moment when my

[1:00:31] when my younger son

[1:00:32] recognized that

[1:00:33] I can tell him not to do something

[1:00:34] and then if he just starts doing it

[1:00:36] there's very little I can do

[1:00:38] because there's a limit

[1:00:38] to how far I can go physically

[1:00:40] in restraining him

[1:00:41] if it's like

[1:00:42] he's gonna

[1:00:42] he gets out of bed

[1:00:43] you have to go back to bed

[1:00:44] because you're not very strong

[1:00:45] it's because I'm weak

[1:00:47] it's because he's stronger than me

[1:00:48] and he can overpower me

[1:00:49] exactly

[1:00:49] what my five-year-old does

[1:00:52] is he puts his hand up

[1:00:53] against my forehead

[1:00:54] and I just swing

[1:00:55] I just swing at him

[1:00:56] with my fists

[1:00:56] but I can't reach

[1:00:57] because you think

Dan McCoy

[1:00:58] you think that your reach

[1:00:59] would be greater

[1:01:00] than Gabriel's

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:01] what you have to understand

[1:01:02] Dan

[1:01:02] is that I'm a cartoonishly

[1:01:04] small weak man

[1:01:05] is the thing

[1:01:06] it's ludicrously small

[1:01:08] that a five-year-old

[1:01:09] has a better reach than me

[1:01:10] and is stronger than me

[1:01:11] that's the basic premise

[1:01:12] of life

[1:01:13] that I'm getting

[1:01:13] it's almost laughable

[1:01:14] how incredibly tiny I am

[1:01:16] like that

[1:01:17] when

[1:01:17] I remember still

[1:01:20] when I said

[1:01:21] oh Sammy

[1:01:21] do you want to read

[1:01:22] The Indian in the Cupboard

[1:01:22] and he said

[1:01:23] but you're the same size

[1:01:24] as The Indian in the Cupboard

[1:01:25] I'll just put you in a cupboard

[1:01:26] and he picked me up

[1:01:27] and put me in a cupboard

[1:01:28] and he locked it

Dan McCoy

[1:01:29] and then when you opened the door

[1:01:31] a big cat face was there

[1:01:33] exactly

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:33] well that's when

[1:01:34] we watched Cinderella

[1:01:35] and he said

[1:01:36] remember when we did that

[1:01:37] to you daddy

[1:01:38] when the mice were locked

[1:01:39] in the cabinet

[1:01:40] yeah yeah

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:40] yeah

[1:01:41] he pulled out your DVD copy

[1:01:43] of Small Soldiers

[1:01:44] and he's like

[1:01:45] don't you just call these guys

[1:01:46] soldiers

[1:01:47] because they're the same size

[1:01:48] as you

[1:01:48] actually the thing

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:52] they've been doing a lot

[1:01:52] recently

[1:01:53] is talking about me farting

[1:01:56] and calling me

[1:01:57] and so it was like

[1:01:58] and they were drawing

[1:01:59] chalk drawings

[1:02:00] on the ground

[1:02:01] and they were like

[1:02:02] this is you

[1:02:03] and it's just like

[1:02:03] a stick of your glasses

[1:02:04] with a fart cloud

[1:02:05] and at the end of the day

[1:02:06] they were saying something to me

[1:02:08] and I was like

[1:02:09] I'm not

[1:02:09] I'm not amused anymore

[1:02:10] and my wife was like

[1:02:11] come on

[1:02:12] just

[1:02:12] they're kids

[1:02:14] they've spent all day

[1:02:15] telling me that I fart

[1:02:16] like I don't need to buy

[1:02:17] into these jokes anymore

[1:02:18] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:02:19] no I

[1:02:20] I

[1:02:21] it's another episode

[1:02:22] of Elliot gets bullied

[1:02:23] by his own children

[1:02:24] I understand

[1:02:27] your perspective

[1:02:28] at the end of the day

[1:02:29] I would not like that either

[1:02:30] but man

[1:02:31] hearing about it

[1:02:32] hearing that it happened

[1:02:33] all day

[1:02:34] oh man

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:35] they're drawing chalk pictures

[1:02:37] of members of the family

[1:02:37] and they drew a picture

[1:02:38] of Danielle

[1:02:39] my wife

[1:02:39] where she is holding a guitar

[1:02:41] and they're like

[1:02:41] you're a rock star

[1:02:42] in this picture

[1:02:42] and they drew a picture of me

[1:02:43] and then they go

[1:02:44] and watch this

[1:02:44] and they drew a toilet

[1:02:45] underneath it

[1:02:46] this is you sitting

[1:02:47] on the toilet

[1:02:47] thanks

[1:02:49] appreciate it

[1:02:49] oh my god

[1:02:50] they got you

[1:02:51] that's the thing

[1:02:52] that you do

[1:02:52] it is the thing I do

[1:02:53] it's the thing I

[1:02:54] and nobody else

[1:02:54] in the house does

[1:02:55] is sit on a toilet

[1:02:57] yeah ever

[1:02:57] burn

[1:02:58] what

[1:03:00] that's such a mistake

[1:03:01] I made

[1:03:01] when I decided

[1:03:03] when I decided

[1:03:03] to start excreting

[1:03:04] the waste

[1:03:05] from my food

[1:03:06] that my body

[1:03:06] didn't need anymore

[1:03:07] into a receptacle

[1:03:09] designed for that process

[1:03:10] that was my mistake

[1:03:11] I shouldn't have done it

[1:03:11] you should have done that

[1:03:13] yeah they caught you

[1:03:13] slipping dude

[1:03:14] when I decide

[1:03:17] when I

[1:03:18] I'm one of the few people

[1:03:19] who has a room

[1:03:19] in my house

[1:03:20] dedicated to the removal

[1:03:21] of this waste

[1:03:22] yeah

[1:03:22] must be nice

[1:03:24] to have so much room

[1:03:25] yeah

[1:03:25] have a whole house

Dan McCoy

[1:03:27] for that

[1:03:27] a whole room for that

[1:03:28] guys

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:29] a whole room

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:29] for shitting him

[1:03:31] oh Mr. Moneybags

[1:03:33] over here

[1:03:33] oh

[1:03:34] we're in the

[1:03:35] I think we're in the

[1:03:36] homestretch

[1:03:36] let's put a bow

[1:03:39] on this bitch

[1:03:39] so we

[1:03:41] we flash forward

[1:03:42] one year later

[1:03:43] we get a little bit

[1:03:43] of monologue

[1:03:44] from Jerry O'Connell

[1:03:45] I don't

[1:03:46] totally remember it all

[1:03:47] but he's looking

[1:03:47] at a newspaper

[1:03:48] that talks about

[1:03:49] like a mob bust

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:50] his stepdad

[1:03:51] has finally been

[1:03:52] he could

[1:03:53] he could

[1:03:53] only pull so many strings

[1:03:55] and now he's going

[1:03:55] to jail

[1:03:56] for his crimes

[1:03:58] I don't think it's

[1:03:59] for setting up the hit

[1:04:00] I think it's his crimes

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:01] and he is lounging

[1:04:04] around on a yacht

[1:04:05] that we learn is his

[1:04:06] that he has made

[1:04:07] his fortune

[1:04:07] using that $50,000

[1:04:08] and creating a

[1:04:10] shampoo line

[1:04:12] using those fancy

[1:04:14] berries they found

[1:04:15] in the Outback

[1:04:16] he is now married

[1:04:17] to Jesse

[1:04:17] and I guess

[1:04:18] adopted

[1:04:19] Louis

[1:04:20] to be their child

[1:04:21] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:22] and this is when

[1:04:23] Dan mentioned

[1:04:24] yeah

[1:04:25] this one has Dan

[1:04:26] mentioned

[1:04:26] with their business

[1:04:27] partners

[1:04:27] which is why

[1:04:28] he also goes

[1:04:28] on their vacations

[1:04:29] with them

[1:04:30] but as Dan mentioned

[1:04:31] this is when

[1:04:32] Louis reveals himself

[1:04:33] by cannonballing

[1:04:34] off the roof

[1:04:35] of the yacht

[1:04:35] into the hot tub

[1:04:36] you have to assume

[1:04:37] in real life

[1:04:38] hurting himself

[1:04:39] and destroying

[1:04:39] the hot tub

[1:04:40] but instead

[1:04:40] he just splashes

[1:04:41] them and they all

[1:04:41] laugh

[1:04:42] now

Dan McCoy

[1:04:43] here's

[1:04:44] like this

[1:04:44] this ending

[1:04:45] felt weird to me

[1:04:46] and I wonder

[1:04:47] whether it was

[1:04:47] how so Dan

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:48] it seemed

[1:04:48] a total natural

[1:04:49] progression

[1:04:50] from everything

[1:04:50] we've seen

[1:04:50] in the movie

[1:04:51] until then

[1:04:51] that it would end

[1:04:52] with them

[1:04:52] as millionaire

[1:04:53] shampoo

[1:04:54] entrepreneurs

Dan McCoy

[1:04:55] whether this

[1:04:57] was part

[1:04:57] of the reshoots

[1:04:58] because

[1:04:58] there was such

[1:04:59] a big

[1:04:59] deal made

[1:05:01] about

[1:05:02] you know

[1:05:02] Estella Warren

[1:05:03] like needing

[1:05:03] money

[1:05:04] to do

[1:05:05] like this

[1:05:06] ecological

[1:05:07] preservation

[1:05:07] in Australia

[1:05:08] that I

[1:05:09] kind of assumed

[1:05:10] that the logical

[1:05:11] happy ending

[1:05:12] to this

[1:05:12] is somehow

[1:05:13] she winds up

[1:05:14] with the

[1:05:15] $50,000

[1:05:15] and maybe

[1:05:16] they're working

[1:05:16] with her

[1:05:17] they're working

[1:05:17] together

[1:05:19] they have a new

[1:05:19] life there

[1:05:20] Anthony Anderson

[1:05:21] can be with them

[1:05:22] too

[1:05:22] sure

[1:05:22] like that's

[1:05:23] the happy

[1:05:24] ending

[1:05:24] that seems

[1:05:25] like it

[1:05:26] does something

[1:05:27] for the world

[1:05:27] and doesn't

[1:05:28] just like

[1:05:29] rip her away

[1:05:30] from her

[1:05:31] interests

[1:05:31] to like

[1:05:32] come be a

[1:05:32] shampoo

[1:05:33] magnate

[1:05:33] on a yacht

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:34] and wife

[1:05:35] and she's just

[1:05:36] looking at him

[1:05:37] so adoringly

[1:05:38] she's lost

[1:05:38] all personal

[1:05:39] independence

[1:05:40] or agency

[1:05:41] but you're

[1:05:41] forgetting

[1:05:42] the highest

[1:05:43] good

[1:05:43] is to get

[1:05:44] as much

[1:05:44] money as

[1:05:45] possible

[1:05:45] so that you

[1:05:46] can use

[1:05:46] that money

[1:05:47] to save

[1:05:48] the people

[1:05:48] of the future

[1:05:49] from evil

[1:05:49] AI computers

[1:05:50] you're forgetting

[1:05:51] that that is

[1:05:51] the highest

[1:05:52] of all

[1:05:52] noble goods

[1:05:53] that's what's

[1:05:54] gonna happen

[1:05:54] and so that you

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:55] can drop some

[1:05:55] sick memes

[1:05:56] what else

[1:05:58] can you do

[1:05:58] if you're super

[1:05:59] wealthy

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:59] you can really

[1:06:00] invest in crypto

[1:06:01] and then get out

[1:06:02] right before

[1:06:02] everyone realizes

[1:06:04] what it is

[1:06:04] you could

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:05] turn yourself

[1:06:06] into like

[1:06:07] a C grade

[1:06:07] pitbull

[1:06:08] impersonator

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:09] you have to

[1:06:10] understand Dan

[1:06:11] that the highest

[1:06:11] good is to

[1:06:12] make as much

[1:06:12] money as

[1:06:13] possible

[1:06:13] so you can

[1:06:14] transfer that

[1:06:14] money into

[1:06:14] the form of

[1:06:15] images of

[1:06:16] apes

[1:06:16] with sunglasses

[1:06:17] on

[1:06:18] and then

[1:06:19] question mark

[1:06:20] something after

[1:06:20] that gets you

[1:06:21] to heaven

[1:06:21] someone's

[1:06:22] saying something

[1:06:22] I understand

[1:06:23] I'll be so

[1:06:24] mad if

[1:06:24] I die

[1:06:25] I go to

[1:06:26] heaven

[1:06:26] St. Peter

[1:06:26] is like

[1:06:27] okay just

[1:06:27] give me one

[1:06:28] ape NFT

[1:06:28] and then you

[1:06:29] get into

[1:06:29] heaven

[1:06:29] and I'll be

[1:06:30] like oh

[1:06:30] is that what

[1:06:31] I needed

[1:06:32] that was always

[1:06:32] the admission fee

[1:06:33] no one has

[1:06:34] ever been

[1:06:34] gotten into

[1:06:34] heaven until

[1:06:35] 2012 or

[1:06:36] whatever

[1:06:36] 2000

[1:06:37] when they start

[1:06:37] 18 or

[1:06:38] something

[1:06:38] I don't

[1:06:38] know

[1:06:39] but at that

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:40] point

[1:06:40] wouldn't you

[1:06:40] be happy

[1:06:41] to not be

[1:06:41] going in

[1:06:42] there

[1:06:42] because

[1:06:42] those guys

[1:06:42] are all

[1:06:43] terrible

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:43] that's true

[1:06:44] and then

[1:06:44] I'd say wait

[1:06:45] this is heaven

[1:06:45] and he'd go

[1:06:45] oh no

[1:06:46] the opposite

[1:06:46] I'm sorry

[1:06:46] I'm the devil

[1:06:47] this is hell

[1:06:47] and I'd go

[1:06:48] oh okay

[1:06:48] thanks

[1:06:48] I'll go the

[1:06:49] other way

[1:06:49] thanks for being

[1:06:50] honest the devil

[1:06:51] he's like

[1:06:53] but I lied to you

[1:06:53] the first time

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:54] as he's taking off

[1:06:54] his hand

[1:06:55] speaking of a devil

[1:06:57] like figure

[1:06:58] our movie doesn't

[1:06:59] end on a yacht

[1:07:00] no no no

[1:07:00] it ends back

[1:07:01] in the outback

[1:07:02] where we see

[1:07:03] kangaroo jack

[1:07:04] kangaroo jack

[1:07:05] that malevolent

[1:07:06] trickster

[1:07:07] at this point

[1:07:08] he's wearing

[1:07:09] the jacket

[1:07:09] again right

[1:07:10] so now he got

[1:07:10] the jacket

[1:07:11] I think he probably

[1:07:11] ordered one for himself

[1:07:12] because it looks so good

[1:07:13] yeah

[1:07:13] I mean without him

[1:07:14] he's just a kangaroo

[1:07:15] and we clarified

[1:07:16] you can just buy

[1:07:17] that sweatshirt

[1:07:18] you don't have to be

[1:07:18] born in Brooklyn

[1:07:19] and then he does

[1:07:20] a song

[1:07:21] and rap

[1:07:22] and he does

[1:07:23] a bunch of bits

[1:07:23] he does

[1:07:24] I'd say a fairly

[1:07:25] passable

[1:07:26] Dr. Evil impression

[1:07:27] what do you think

Dan McCoy

[1:07:28] I really dated

[1:07:29] the movie so much

[1:07:30] even more than

[1:07:31] a rapping kangaroo

[1:07:33] dated the movie

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:33] yes

[1:07:34] it's so incredibly

[1:07:35] lazy too

[1:07:36] because he's like

[1:07:36] I'm the star

[1:07:37] of the movie

[1:07:37] I can do impressions

[1:07:38] and he does

[1:07:39] one impression

[1:07:39] and it's Dr. Evil

[1:07:41] you couldn't even do

[1:07:42] two more shitty impressions

[1:07:44] like that was it

[1:07:46] that was just all set up

[1:07:46] for a Dr. Evil joke

[1:07:47] but it does date it

[1:07:48] considerably

[1:07:49] because

[1:07:50] if you show this movie

[1:07:51] to a child now

[1:07:52] which I will not do

[1:07:53] because again

[1:07:53] CPS will take my kids

[1:07:55] away from me

[1:07:56] if I do

[1:07:56] they would have no idea

[1:07:58] what that was a joke about

[1:07:59] like it's just

[1:07:59] that's gone

[1:08:01] from the zeitgeist

[1:08:02] you know

[1:08:02] there's so much

[1:08:04] comedy from around that time

[1:08:05] where someone either

[1:08:06] on purpose

[1:08:07] or as a joke

[1:08:08] about telling a bad joke

[1:08:09] goes like

[1:08:09] yeah baby

[1:08:10] and now

[1:08:11] there's a whole generation

[1:08:13] that will just not understand

[1:08:14] that even as a reference

[1:08:15] I guess people just said

[1:08:15] that back then

[1:08:16] why was everyone saying

[1:08:18] yeah baby

[1:08:18] in kind of a not quite

[1:08:19] English accent back then

[1:08:21] why was everyone asking

[1:08:23] if other people

[1:08:23] made them horny

[1:08:24] I don't understand

[1:08:25] or if they made

[1:08:25] other people horny

[1:08:26] harassment

Dan McCoy

[1:08:26] hey let's

[1:08:28] close out

[1:08:30] Kangaroo Jack

[1:08:30] by doing our final judgments

[1:08:32] saying whether we

[1:08:33] thought this was

[1:08:33] a good bad movie

[1:08:34] a bad bad movie

[1:08:35] a movie we kind of like

[1:08:36] this is a weird one for me

[1:08:38] I'm not

[1:08:38] it is not a good movie

[1:08:40] it's not a movie

[1:08:42] I kind of liked

[1:08:42] but on like the scale

[1:08:47] of like Flophouse movies

[1:08:48] I certainly had more

[1:08:49] a more enjoyable time

[1:08:51] watching this

[1:08:52] than a lot of them

[1:08:53] and I think that

[1:08:54] it is

[1:08:55] less than it is a

[1:08:56] like

[1:08:56] good bad movie

[1:08:58] in the sense that

[1:08:59] I'm like laughing

[1:08:59] at how

[1:09:00] hilarious

[1:09:01] all the

[1:09:02] badness of it is

[1:09:03] and more

[1:09:04] just like

[1:09:04] at a certain point

[1:09:06] as you grow older

[1:09:07] you will find that

[1:09:08] you get nostalgic

[1:09:09] for a particular

[1:09:11] flavor of badness

[1:09:12] that used to exist

[1:09:13] that doesn't

[1:09:14] exist in the world

[1:09:14] so much anymore

[1:09:15] like this movie

[1:09:15] feels so of its time

[1:09:18] and so of like

[1:09:19] the type of bad movie

[1:09:20] you would get back then

[1:09:21] that I had this kind of

[1:09:23] like sneaking fondness

[1:09:24] for it

[1:09:24] so I guess I'm saying

[1:09:25] good bad

[1:09:25] so you're saying

[1:09:26] this movie

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:27] you are taking

[1:09:27] your female lead

[1:09:29] and putting her

[1:09:29] in an undershirt

[1:09:31] and getting that shirt

[1:09:32] wet

[1:09:32] I guess

[1:09:32] it gets at least

[1:09:34] half a star

[1:09:34] I'll allow it

[1:09:35] says Dan McCoy

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:36] so you're saying

[1:09:37] Dan this should have

[1:09:37] won the best picture

[1:09:38] Oscar for that year

[1:09:40] instead of

[1:09:40] let's see

[1:09:40] what won that year

[1:09:41] Lord of the Rings

[1:09:42] Return of the King

[1:09:43] I think Stuart

[1:09:43] would agree with this

[1:09:44] I'm gonna kill

[1:09:46] all of you

[1:09:47] Dan you are right

[1:09:49] that this is a very

[1:09:50] this was a very

[1:09:51] nostalgic feeling film

[1:09:52] in that way

[1:09:52] it feels like

[1:09:53] the kind of bad movie

[1:09:54] from that time

[1:09:54] I'm also gonna call it

[1:09:55] a bad bad movie

[1:09:56] because it's

[1:09:57] a huge waste of time

[1:09:58] it felt

[1:09:58] the whole time

[1:09:59] I'm watching it

[1:09:59] I'm like

[1:10:00] why is this

[1:10:02] why does this exist

[1:10:02] why am I watching it

[1:10:03] to quote

[1:10:04] I don't wanna steal

[1:10:05] another person's

[1:10:05] podcast title

[1:10:06] but how did this

[1:10:07] get made

[1:10:07] how

[1:10:07] how did this movie

[1:10:08] and how

[1:10:09] we know a lot

Dan McCoy

[1:10:09] about how it

[1:10:10] got made

[1:10:10] in this case

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:11] well I think

[1:10:12] we understand

[1:10:12] how it got made

[1:10:13] but we don't know

[1:10:14] why it got made

[1:10:15] so you get

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:15] you get some cameras

[1:10:17] and actors

[1:10:18] and lights

[1:10:18] oh really

[1:10:19] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:19] tell me more

[1:10:21] we should call

[1:10:21] maybe

[1:10:22] a script

[1:10:22] but the idea

[1:10:25] that like

[1:10:26] and this came

[1:10:27] from

[1:10:27] this was from

[1:10:27] Jerry Bruckheimer

[1:10:28] this is from a big

[1:10:29] big production company

[1:10:30] and

[1:10:30] Jerry Bruckheimer films

[1:10:31] like we'll get the director

[1:10:32] from Coyote Ugly

[1:10:33] we'll get Jerry O'Connell

[1:10:35] it's a story about

[1:10:36] a kangaroo

[1:10:36] and some mobsters

[1:10:37] we've gotta make

[1:10:38] this movie

[1:10:39] like I don't

[1:10:39] it's the

[1:10:40] we have to spend

[1:10:42] you know

[1:10:42] tens of millions

[1:10:43] of dollars on this

[1:10:44] it just

[1:10:44] I find it very baffling

[1:10:46] because it's kind of

[1:10:47] a nothing movie

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:47] yeah

[1:10:48] it's not

[1:10:50] it's not fun enough

[1:10:51] to be a good bad movie

[1:10:53] yeah

[1:10:53] and

[1:10:54] yeah it's just

[1:10:55] I feel like

[1:10:56] it's also not

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:56] it's not bad enough

[1:10:57] to be a good bad movie

[1:10:58] where you're like

[1:10:59] you know

[1:11:00] where it's making

[1:11:01] an impression on you

[1:11:01] at least

[1:11:02] yeah

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:02] yeah

[1:11:03] it's just

[1:11:04] it's not good

[1:11:06] don't watch it

[1:11:07] it's not what you want

[1:11:08] I promise you

[1:11:09] it's not what you want

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:10] two non-recommendations

[1:11:12] and one

[1:11:12] should have won

[1:11:13] best picture

[1:11:13] from Dan McGill

[1:11:14] yep

Dan McCoy

[1:11:14] that's what I said

S4

[1:11:16] from the twisted minds

[1:11:22] that brought you

[1:11:23] the adventure zone

[1:11:25] balance

[1:11:26] and amnesty

[1:11:27] and graduation

[1:11:28] and ether sea

[1:11:29] and steeplechase

[1:11:30] and utraspace

[1:11:31] and all the other ones

[1:11:33] the McElroy brothers

[1:11:35] and dad

[1:11:35] are proud to reveal

[1:11:36] a bold vision

[1:11:37] for the future

[1:11:38] of actual play podcasting

[1:11:40] it's um

[1:11:42] it's called

[1:11:44] versus dracula

[1:11:45] yeah we're gonna

[1:11:47] kill dracula's ass

[1:11:48] we're gonna

[1:11:48] well we're gonna

[1:11:49] attempt

[1:11:49] we haven't recorded

[1:11:50] all of it yet

[1:11:51] we will attempt

[1:11:52] to kill dracula's ass

[1:11:54] versus dracula

[1:11:55] yes a season

[1:11:55] a season

S4

[1:11:55] i will be running

[1:11:56] uh using the dnd fifth edition

[1:11:58] uh rule set

[1:11:59] and there's two episodes

[1:12:01] out for you to listen to

[1:12:02] right now

[1:12:02] we hope you will join us

[1:12:04] same bat time

[1:12:05] same bat channel

[1:12:06] for bats

[1:12:07] i see what you did there

S5

[1:12:08] people say not to judge

[1:12:10] a fish by its ability

[1:12:12] to climb a tree

Dan McCoy

[1:12:13] which is why here

[1:12:14] on just the zoo of us

[1:12:15] we judge them

[1:12:16] by so much more

S5

[1:12:17] we rate animals

[1:12:19] out of 10

[1:12:19] in the categories

[1:12:20] of effectiveness

[1:12:21] ingenuity

[1:12:22] and aesthetics

[1:12:22] taking into consideration

[1:12:23] each animal's

[1:12:24] true strengths

[1:12:25] like a pigeon's

[1:12:26] ability to tell

[1:12:27] a monet

[1:12:28] from a picasso

[1:12:29] or a polar bear's

[1:12:30] ability to play basketball

Dan McCoy

[1:12:31] guest experts

[1:12:33] like biologists

[1:12:33] ecologists

[1:12:34] and more

[1:12:35] join us

[1:12:35] to share their

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:36] unique insight

[1:12:36] into the animal's

[1:12:37] world

S5

[1:12:38] listen with friends

[1:12:39] and family

[1:12:39] of all ages

[1:12:40] on maximumfun.org

[1:12:42] or wherever

[1:12:43] you get podcasts

[1:12:44] let's do

Dan McCoy

[1:12:53] uh our sponsors

[1:12:55] let's not do

[1:12:56] our sponsors

[1:12:56] let's provide

[1:12:57] our sponsors

[1:12:58] messages

[1:12:59] unprofessional

[1:13:00] unethical

[1:13:00] to the listeners

[1:13:01] um

[1:13:02] our uh

[1:13:04] our podcast

[1:13:05] the flop house

[1:13:06] is sponsored

[1:13:06] in part

[1:13:07] by rocket money

[1:13:08] now if i asked you

[1:13:10] how many subscriptions

[1:13:11] do you have

[1:13:12] would you be able

[1:13:13] to list all of them

[1:13:14] and what you're paying

[1:13:15] the amount you're

[1:13:16] spending might surprise

[1:13:17] you

[1:13:18] i believe it

[1:13:19] you sign up for a thing

[1:13:21] you let it go

[1:13:22] you forget about it

[1:13:23] and then you're

[1:13:24] spending all that money

[1:13:25] for nothing

[1:13:25] rocket money

[1:13:27] money for nothing

[1:13:27] and the chicks

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:28] for free

[1:13:28] but in a bad way

Dan McCoy

[1:13:29] in a bad way

[1:13:30] uh

[1:13:31] rocket money can help

[1:13:33] find and cancel

[1:13:34] unused subscriptions

[1:13:35] it's a personal finance

[1:13:37] app that finds and

[1:13:38] cancels your unwanted

[1:13:39] subscriptions

[1:13:40] monitors your spending

[1:13:41] and helps lower your

[1:13:42] bills

[1:13:43] they can even

[1:13:43] try to get you a

[1:13:45] refund for the last

[1:13:46] couple months of

[1:13:46] wasted money

[1:13:47] or negotiate to

[1:13:48] lower your bills

[1:13:49] for you by up to

[1:13:50] 20%

[1:13:51] just take a picture

[1:13:52] of bill

[1:13:52] and rocket money

[1:13:53] takes care of the rest

[1:13:55] they have over 5 million

[1:13:57] users

[1:13:57] and rocket money

[1:13:58] has helped save

[1:13:59] its members

[1:13:59] an average

[1:14:00] of 7 and

[1:14:02] 7 and

[1:14:03] i said

[1:14:03] 720

[1:14:05] dollars a year

[1:14:08] 720 dollars a year

[1:14:09] let's

[1:14:10] let's put it that way

[1:14:11] that's an easier way

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:12] of hearing it

[1:14:13] no i liked

[1:14:13] i liked the quest

[1:14:14] you had to go on

[1:14:15] to get there

[1:14:16] it wasn't the destination

[1:14:17] it was the journey

[1:14:18] yeah

[1:14:18] sorry

[1:14:18] i'm feeling a headache

Dan McCoy

[1:14:21] come on

[1:14:21] right

[1:14:22] in real time

[1:14:23] yeah well that's a big

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:24] number to have to

[1:14:24] comprehend

[1:14:25] and to have to

[1:14:25] that's a lot

Dan McCoy

[1:14:26] with over 500 million

[1:14:29] dollars

[1:14:29] in cancelled

[1:14:31] subscriptions

[1:14:31] guys we had a lot

[1:14:33] of fun

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:33] oh did we ever

Dan McCoy

[1:14:35] but

[1:14:36] here's the important

[1:14:37] thing that i have to

[1:14:38] say

[1:14:38] why not cancel your

[1:14:40] unwanted subscriptions

[1:14:41] by going to

[1:14:42] rocketmoney.com

[1:14:43] slash flop

[1:14:44] that's rocketmoney.com

[1:14:46] slash flop

[1:14:47] rocketmoney.com

[1:14:48] slash

[1:14:49] flop

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:50] hey there

[1:14:51] i'm stewart wellington

[1:14:52] and i'm a hard-working

[1:14:53] podcaster

[1:14:54] and you know

[1:14:55] before a heavy

[1:14:57] podcasting sesh

[1:14:58] i need to get some

[1:14:59] energy

[1:14:59] and the best way

[1:15:00] to get energy

[1:15:00] that's right

[1:15:01] eat some food

[1:15:03] now one of the

[1:15:03] best ways

[1:15:04] someone say the only

[1:15:05] way to get energy

[1:15:06] one of the best ways

[1:15:08] to get food delivered

[1:15:09] right to your door

[1:15:10] is factor

[1:15:11] factor does

[1:15:13] ready-to-eat

[1:15:14] meal deliveries

[1:15:15] that takes the stress

[1:15:17] out of meal planning

[1:15:18] and sets you up

[1:15:18] for success

[1:15:19] all year long

[1:15:22] forget frantic

[1:15:23] lunch preps

[1:15:24] and rush dinners

[1:15:25] factor makes

[1:15:26] two-minute meals

[1:15:27] that are going to be

[1:15:28] your secret weapon

[1:15:29] in this new year

[1:15:32] you know what

[1:15:33] time for a change

[1:15:33] why don't you change

[1:15:34] over to factor

[1:15:35] you can fuel up fast

[1:15:36] with restaurant quality

[1:15:37] meals all delivered

[1:15:38] right to your door

[1:15:40] need a special

[1:15:41] occasion meal

[1:15:42] gourmet plus

[1:15:43] is the perfect solution

[1:15:44] if that's what

[1:15:45] you're looking for

[1:15:46] it's going to be

[1:15:47] fast upscale

[1:15:48] options that are

[1:15:49] easily done

[1:15:50] in your home

[1:15:51] so

[1:15:52] head to

[1:15:53] factor meals dot com

[1:15:54] slash flop 50

[1:15:56] and use code

[1:15:57] flop 50

[1:15:58] to get 50% off

[1:15:59] that's code

[1:16:01] flop 50

[1:16:02] at factor meals

[1:16:03] dot com

[1:16:04] slash

[1:16:05] flop 50

[1:16:06] to get

[1:16:07] 50% off

[1:16:08] yum

[1:16:09] yum

[1:16:10] indeed

[1:16:10] Elliot

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:11] yum

[1:16:12] indeed

[1:16:13] there's some

[1:16:13] flop house

[1:16:14] stuff to talk

[1:16:14] about

[1:16:15] if you're

[1:16:17] listening to this

[1:16:18] episode on the

[1:16:19] day it comes out

[1:16:20] January 27th

[1:16:21] then you should

[1:16:21] know we have

[1:16:22] been having a

[1:16:23] spectacular

[1:16:23] west coast tour

[1:16:25] we've had great

[1:16:26] stops in

[1:16:27] Portland in

[1:16:27] Vancouver in

[1:16:28] San Francisco

[1:16:29] we just were at

[1:16:30] San Francisco

[1:16:30] last night

[1:16:31] it was an

[1:16:31] amazing show

[1:16:32] I wish I could

[1:16:33] tell you all the

[1:16:34] incredible things

[1:16:34] that happened

[1:16:35] during it

[1:16:35] but I can't

[1:16:36] we just don't

[1:16:36] have time

[1:16:37] and we're

[1:16:37] recording this

[1:16:38] ahead of time

[1:16:38] so I don't

[1:16:39] technically know

[1:16:39] but I will

[1:16:40] know and it's

[1:16:41] going to be

[1:16:41] great

[1:16:41] tomorrow night

[1:16:42] January 28th

[1:16:44] if you're

[1:16:44] listening to this

[1:16:45] on our release

[1:16:45] day we will

[1:16:46] be in Los

[1:16:46] Angeles

[1:16:46] California

[1:16:47] at the

[1:16:48] Regent

[1:16:48] Theater

[1:16:48] live

[1:16:49] talking

[1:16:50] Spawn

[1:16:51] Spawn

[1:16:52] the movie

[1:16:53] that started

[1:16:54] the superhero

[1:16:54] craze

[1:16:55] we wouldn't

[1:16:56] have the MCU

[1:16:57] without Spawn

[1:16:57] probably

[1:16:58] so come on

[1:16:59] down and hear

[1:16:59] us talk about

[1:17:00] it

[1:17:00] go to

[1:17:01] flophouse

[1:17:01] podcast.com

[1:17:02] slash events

[1:17:03] for more info

[1:17:04] or you can go

[1:17:06] to the

[1:17:07] Regent

[1:17:07] Theater

[1:17:08] website

[1:17:09] which is

[1:17:10] regent

[1:17:11] dtla.com

[1:17:13] and you can

[1:17:14] buy tickets

[1:17:15] there

[1:17:15] so go to

[1:17:16] regent

[1:17:16] dtla.com

[1:17:18] or to

[1:17:18] flophouse

[1:17:19] podcast.com

[1:17:21] to get tickets

[1:17:22] for our show

[1:17:23] in Los Angeles

[1:17:23] at the Regent

[1:17:25] Theater

[1:17:26] very fun

[1:17:26] it's the last

[1:17:27] stop of our

[1:17:28] west coast

[1:17:28] tour

[1:17:29] and I don't

[1:17:30] know when

[1:17:30] we're going to

[1:17:30] be back

[1:17:31] to the west

[1:17:32] coast

[1:17:32] this may be

[1:17:32] your last

[1:17:33] chance to see

[1:17:33] us live

[1:17:34] if you live

[1:17:35] in the Los

[1:17:36] Angeles area

[1:17:36] for quite

[1:17:37] some time

[1:17:38] in fact

[1:17:38] I'll tell you

[1:17:39] just come see us

[1:17:41] we're not coming

[1:17:41] back for a while

[1:17:42] this is not going

[1:17:42] to happen

[1:17:43] I can't

[1:17:43] I'm done

[1:17:44] shitting where I

[1:17:44] eat

[1:17:45] I can't

[1:17:45] I can't do

[1:17:46] it anymore

[1:17:46] I'm getting a bad

[1:17:47] name

[1:17:47] so come see us

[1:17:49] at the Regent

[1:17:50] Theater

[1:17:51] Flophouse Live

[1:17:52] talking about

[1:17:52] Spawn

[1:17:53] and if you

[1:17:54] come see us

[1:17:56] and that's just

[1:17:56] not quite enough

[1:17:57] of seeing our

[1:17:58] sweet beautiful

[1:17:58] faces while we

[1:17:59] talk

[1:17:59] you still have

[1:18:01] a couple days

[1:18:02] in which you

[1:18:03] can watch

[1:18:03] Flop TV

[1:18:04] January is not

[1:18:05] quite over yet

[1:18:06] and if you go to

[1:18:07] theflophouse.simpleticks.com

[1:18:09] you can still get a

[1:18:10] season pass to watch

[1:18:10] the recordings

[1:18:11] of our Flop TV

[1:18:12] episodes

[1:18:13] those will be up

[1:18:14] for another few

[1:18:14] days until the

[1:18:15] end of January

[1:18:16] but the real

[1:18:17] excitement is

[1:18:18] tomorrow's show

[1:18:18] in Los Angeles

[1:18:19] go to

[1:18:20] flophousepodcast.com

[1:18:22] or regentdtla.com

[1:18:25] stands for

[1:18:25] downtown LA

[1:18:26] and you

[1:18:27] can come see us

[1:18:28] live

[1:18:30] Spawn

[1:18:30] guys are you

[1:18:31] excited to talk

[1:18:31] about Spawn

[1:18:32] tomorrow?

Dan McCoy

[1:18:32] I am

[1:18:33] yeah I'll

[1:18:34] project myself

[1:18:34] forward into

[1:18:35] the future

[1:18:35] where I assume

[1:18:36] my opinion

[1:18:36] will be the

[1:18:37] same

[1:18:37] and I'm

[1:18:38] excited to

[1:18:38] talk about

[1:18:39] Spawn

[1:18:39] because that

[1:18:39] is a

[1:18:40] wild movie

[1:18:41] there's

[1:18:41] people forget

[1:18:42] there was a

[1:18:43] time when

[1:18:44] they didn't

[1:18:44] know how to

[1:18:45] make superhero

[1:18:45] movies

[1:18:46] and there's

[1:18:46] also a time

[1:18:47] when they

[1:18:48] didn't know

[1:18:48] really how to

[1:18:49] use computer

[1:18:50] graphics in

[1:18:51] movies

[1:18:51] and they

[1:18:52] collide

[1:18:53] in Spawn

[1:18:53] and there

[1:18:55] was one

[1:18:56] single time

[1:18:56] when John

[1:18:57] Leguizamo

[1:18:57] didn't seem

[1:18:58] to know

[1:18:58] what he

[1:18:59] was doing

[1:18:59] and that

[1:19:00] was also

[1:19:00] in Spawn

[1:19:01] man

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:03] yeah there's

[1:19:04] I have so

[1:19:04] much affection

[1:19:05] now for

[1:19:05] that era

[1:19:06] of digital

[1:19:07] effects

[1:19:08] where you're

[1:19:08] like what

[1:19:09] was that

[1:19:09] movie

[1:19:09] Hideaway

[1:19:10] based on

[1:19:10] the Dean

[1:19:11] Coot

[1:19:11] oh yeah

[1:19:12] oh boy

Dan McCoy

[1:19:13] give me

[1:19:13] like things

[1:19:15] collapsing

[1:19:15] into like

[1:19:16] weird puddles

[1:19:17] of

[1:19:17] CGI

[1:19:18] goop

[1:19:18] oh man

[1:19:19] he used to

[1:19:19] do that

[1:19:19] all the time

[1:19:20] yeah

[1:19:20] like in

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:21] Time Cop

[1:19:22] where he throws

[1:19:23] the one

[1:19:24] what's his name

[1:19:25] into the other

[1:19:25] Ron Silver

[1:19:26] into the other

[1:19:27] and they

[1:19:27] push together

[1:19:28] Lawnmower Man

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:29] oh yeah

[1:19:30] all that stuff

[1:19:32] give me

[1:19:32] yum yum yum

[1:19:33] if you also

[1:19:34] feel that

[1:19:34] nostalgia

[1:19:35] for 90s

[1:19:36] CGI

[1:19:37] come see us

[1:19:38] Spawn

[1:19:39] we're not

[1:19:39] you're not

[1:19:39] going to see

[1:19:40] Spawn

[1:19:40] but you'll

[1:19:40] see us

[1:19:41] it

[1:19:41] and you'll

[1:19:41] get more

[1:19:42] of this

[1:19:42] it's going

[1:19:42] to be

[1:19:43] a good

[1:19:43] time

Dan McCoy

[1:19:43] but let's

[1:19:45] move on

[1:19:46] shall we

[1:19:47] to letters

[1:19:47] from listeners

[1:19:48] we have

[1:19:50] them

[1:19:50] they're you

[1:19:51] and you

[1:19:52] send letters

[1:19:52] to us

[1:19:53] is this

[1:19:54] your letter

[1:19:54] maybe

[1:19:54] listen up

[1:19:55] listen up

[1:19:57] idiot

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:58] pay attention

[1:19:59] hey class

[1:20:00] hey is this

[1:20:01] there's only

[1:20:02] one way

[1:20:03] to know

[1:20:04] listen up

[1:20:04] stupid

[1:20:05] listen up

[1:20:06] it's like

[1:20:06] Dan and more

[1:20:07] of a what

[1:20:07] Pantera type

[1:20:08] vibe maybe

[1:20:09] yeah sure

[1:20:10] this is from

[1:20:11] Meg

[1:20:12] last name

[1:20:13] withheld

[1:20:14] is your name

[1:20:14] Meg

[1:20:15] if it's not

[1:20:15] it's not

[1:20:16] keep listening

[1:20:17] maybe we'll

[1:20:18] get to you

[1:20:19] okay cool

[1:20:20] but Meg

[1:20:22] this is your

[1:20:22] letter

[1:20:23] so listen

[1:20:23] especially

[1:20:24] to this one

[1:20:25] when I started

[1:20:26] listening

[1:20:27] I realized

[1:20:27] it's turning

[1:20:27] into Hey Mickey

[1:20:28] the song

[1:20:28] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:20:29] when

[1:20:31] when I

[1:20:32] started

[1:20:32] listening to

[1:20:32] the flop

[1:20:33] house

[1:20:33] in 2016

[1:20:34] Stu

[1:20:35] tended to

[1:20:36] indulge

[1:20:36] in adult

[1:20:37] consumption

[1:20:37] products

[1:20:38] and not

[1:20:38] infrequently

[1:20:39] mentioned

[1:20:39] Castle Freak

[1:20:40] I would

[1:20:41] listen to

[1:20:42] the podcast

[1:20:42] at the gym

[1:20:43] and I was

[1:20:44] just getting

[1:20:44] into the swing

[1:20:45] of protein

[1:20:45] counting

[1:20:46] smash cut

[1:20:47] to today

[1:20:47] I blew

[1:20:48] off the

[1:20:49] gym

[1:20:49] and am

[1:20:50] instead

[1:20:51] indulging

[1:20:51] in adult

[1:20:52] consumption

[1:20:52] products

[1:20:53] and watching

[1:20:53] Castle Freak

[1:20:54] while Stu

[1:20:55] is one

[1:20:56] presumes

[1:20:56] curling

[1:20:57] with one

[1:20:57] hand

[1:20:58] and downing

[1:20:58] a protein

[1:20:59] shake

[1:20:59] in the

[1:20:59] other

[1:20:59] so since

[1:21:01] Stu

[1:21:01] and I

[1:21:01] have switched

[1:21:01] personalities

[1:21:02] yeah

[1:21:02] I was wondering

[1:21:03] if you wouldn't

[1:21:07] mind watching

[1:21:07] the 2017

[1:21:08] Russian answer

[1:21:09] to the Marvel

[1:21:10] movies

[1:21:10] The Defenders

[1:21:11] at the time

[1:21:13] I started

[1:21:13] listening to

[1:21:13] The Flophouse

[1:21:14] I was living

[1:21:14] abroad

[1:21:15] in a small

[1:21:15] Russian city

[1:21:16] The Defenders

[1:21:17] was a film

[1:21:18] I always felt

[1:21:18] would be perfect

[1:21:19] for The Flophouse

[1:21:20] Pretty Ladies

[1:21:21] for Dan

[1:21:21] Superheroes

[1:21:22] for Elliot

[1:21:22] A Bear

[1:21:23] Man

[1:21:23] for Stu

[1:21:24] what

[1:21:24] if it weren't

[1:21:25] in Russian

[1:21:25] since you all

[1:21:26] don't seem

[1:21:27] to do

[1:21:27] foreign films

[1:21:28] I remember

[1:21:29] the trailer

[1:21:29] for this one

[1:21:30] going around

[1:21:30] Piccirini

[1:21:31] have you thought

[1:21:33] about doing

[1:21:33] bad foreign

[1:21:34] language films

[1:21:34] on the podcast

[1:21:35] what foreign

[1:21:36] language films

[1:21:36] would you

[1:21:37] consider doing

[1:21:37] foreign film

[1:21:39] February

[1:21:39] has a fun

[1:21:40] ring to it

[1:21:40] no

[1:21:40] I think we only

[1:21:44] did

[1:21:45] Aileen

[1:21:46] yes

[1:21:47] I think that's

[1:21:48] the only foreign

[1:21:48] language film

[1:21:49] we've ever done

[1:21:50] yeah

[1:21:50] I mean I know

[1:21:52] that speaking

[1:21:53] for myself

[1:21:53] well we're doing

[1:21:53] older movies

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:54] so maybe we'll

[1:21:54] do Life is Beautiful

Dan McCoy

[1:21:55] I guess

[1:21:58] an easy

[1:21:59] no pitfalls

[1:22:01] there

[1:22:01] in making

[1:22:01] fun

[1:22:02] no not at all

[1:22:02] yeah

[1:22:03] I mean

[1:22:05] obviously

[1:22:06] one would hope

[1:22:08] that in an

[1:22:09] ideal world

[1:22:09] when

[1:22:10] there's a podcast

[1:22:12] about a bad movie

[1:22:13] the hosts are paying

[1:22:14] close attention

[1:22:15] to it

[1:22:16] at every moment

[1:22:17] but I know

[1:22:18] that for me

[1:22:18] my brain tends

[1:22:19] to slide off

[1:22:20] the movies

[1:22:21] and I have to

[1:22:21] keep slapping

[1:22:22] myself

[1:22:22] to keep

[1:22:24] paying attention

[1:22:24] and I don't know

[1:22:26] whether it would

[1:22:27] be good

[1:22:27] to have to

[1:22:28] have subtitles

[1:22:29] to keep me

[1:22:30] locked in

[1:22:31] or bad

[1:22:32] because I would

[1:22:32] just be like

[1:22:33] I can't do this

[1:22:34] I can't stay

[1:22:35] this locked in

[1:22:35] on a bad movie

[1:22:36] this whole time

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:36] there's also a part

[1:22:38] of me where I

[1:22:39] like if something

[1:22:41] seems silly

[1:22:41] or doesn't make

[1:22:42] sense

[1:22:42] I'm like

[1:22:43] is this just a

[1:22:44] cultural difference

[1:22:45] that I don't

[1:22:45] understand

[1:22:46] something like that

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:49] that is a pitfall

[1:22:49] I would worry about

[1:22:50] is us being like

[1:22:50] what is that

[1:22:51] all about

[1:22:52] who does that

[1:22:52] and it turns out

[1:22:53] it's a common

[1:22:54] thing or it's a

[1:22:55] special thing

[1:22:55] or it's a sacred

[1:22:56] or important thing

[1:22:57] and we definitely

[1:22:58] don't want

[1:22:58] there was a

[1:22:59] one of the

[1:22:59] issues I had

[1:23:00] that I couldn't

[1:23:01] I could never

[1:23:02] quite articulate

[1:23:03] was how much

[1:23:04] I enjoyed the

[1:23:04] movie RRR

[1:23:05] but at the end

[1:23:06] when there's that

[1:23:07] dance number

[1:23:07] where they're just

[1:23:08] singing about

[1:23:08] the strength

[1:23:09] of the Indian

[1:23:09] nation

[1:23:10] I was like

[1:23:10] this feels

[1:23:11] less okay to me

[1:23:13] like or the fact

[1:23:14] that these two guys

[1:23:15] are equal heroes

[1:23:15] but then one of

[1:23:16] them is at the

[1:23:16] end is clearly

[1:23:17] becomes superior

[1:23:18] to the other one

[1:23:19] in terms of like

[1:23:21] hierarchy

[1:23:21] like this

[1:23:22] but I couldn't

[1:23:23] I didn't know

[1:23:23] enough about

[1:23:24] Indian culture

[1:23:25] or modern

[1:23:26] Indian to parse

[1:23:27] that completely

[1:23:27] and I would worry

[1:23:28] about podcasting

[1:23:29] in that way

[1:23:29] about that kind

[1:23:30] of thing

[1:23:30] from a seat

[1:23:31] of half knowledge

Dan McCoy

[1:23:31] I also think

[1:23:33] that just sort

[1:23:33] of like in a

[1:23:34] practical sense

[1:23:35] you know

[1:23:36] the foreign

[1:23:37] films that tend

[1:23:38] to reach us

[1:23:40] are the cream

[1:23:41] of the crop

[1:23:42] you know

[1:23:42] and we don't

[1:23:43] hear about

[1:23:43] they rise to the top

[1:23:44] yeah

[1:23:44] never trust a pig

[1:23:45] because a pig is a cop

[1:23:46] we don't hear about

[1:23:48] the movies that are

[1:23:49] so bad

[1:23:50] that they're

[1:23:51] funny

[1:23:52] you know

[1:23:52] like it's just

[1:23:53] those don't get

[1:23:54] exported a lot

[1:23:55] of the time

[1:23:55] sometimes

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:55] sometimes

[1:23:56] they tend to be

[1:23:56] the older

[1:23:57] kind of sillier ones

[1:23:58] maybe

[1:23:58] yeah

[1:23:58] exactly

[1:23:59] Turkish Star Wars

[1:23:59] and things like that

[1:24:00] but

[1:24:00] the

[1:24:01] yeah

[1:24:03] I guess

[1:24:03] but maybe we'll start

[1:24:04] okay

[1:24:04] so I guess

[1:24:05] next episode

[1:24:06] we'll talk about

[1:24:06] a Serbian movie

[1:24:07] I guess that's

[1:24:07] what we gotta do

[1:24:08] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:24:08] I mean

[1:24:09] yeah

[1:24:09] I don't think

[1:24:11] there's anything

[1:24:12] keeping us from it

[1:24:14] we just

[1:24:14] you know

[1:24:15] like there

[1:24:15] there are

[1:24:16] more roadblocks

[1:24:17] yeah

[1:24:17] you know what

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:18] luckily

[1:24:18] there's enough

[1:24:20] bad English language

[1:24:21] films coming out

Dan McCoy

[1:24:22] I'm curious about

[1:24:24] this Russian movie

[1:24:24] though now

[1:24:25] I want to see

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:25] yeah I remember

[1:24:26] seeing the trailer

[1:24:26] and being like

[1:24:27] what

Dan McCoy

[1:24:27] this next letter

[1:24:31] breaks the

[1:24:32] signature form

[1:24:35] they say that

[1:24:36] they're a

[1:24:36] Kansan and Cali

[1:24:37] and they say

[1:24:39] hey

[1:24:40] high floppers

[1:24:40] as a poet

[1:24:42] who was born

[1:24:42] and raised

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:43] before we say anything

[1:24:44] I'm gonna say

[1:24:44] I approve of this

[1:24:45] everybody

[1:24:46] you can start signing

[1:24:47] your letters

[1:24:47] in different ways

[1:24:48] if you want to

[1:24:49] you don't always

[1:24:49] have to use your

[1:24:49] first name

[1:24:50] and last name

[1:24:50] withheld

[1:24:51] if you want to

[1:24:51] be cheeky

[1:24:52] about it

[1:24:53] go ahead

[1:24:53] I normally

[1:24:54] strip out

[1:24:54] the last name

Dan McCoy

[1:24:55] so I just

[1:24:55] started doing

[1:24:57] that

[1:24:57] anyway

[1:24:58] sorry

[1:24:59] sorry

[1:25:00] that was

[1:25:02] Gilly

[1:25:02] remember Gilly

[1:25:03] remember Gilly

[1:25:04] guys

[1:25:05] yeah I remember

[1:25:06] Gilly well

[1:25:06] yeah

[1:25:07] Gilly

[1:25:07] okay

[1:25:10] wait sorry

[1:25:11] this person

[1:25:12] writes

[1:25:12] hi floppers

[1:25:13] hey

[1:25:14] as a poet

[1:25:15] who was born

[1:25:15] and raised

[1:25:16] in Topeka

[1:25:16] I felt compelled

[1:25:17] to write in

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:18] oh finally

[1:25:19] we'll get back

[1:25:19] to what this podcast

[1:25:20] is really about

[1:25:21] people's thoughts

[1:25:22] about Topeka

Dan McCoy

[1:25:22] Dan it's okay

[1:25:24] not to like poetry

[1:25:26] I'm barely judging

[1:25:27] you at all

[1:25:27] as for Topeka

[1:25:29] it's fine

[1:25:30] speaking of things

[1:25:32] which are fine

[1:25:32] a lot of hot takes

[1:25:34] in this letter

[1:25:35] yeah

[1:25:35] what's a perfectly

[1:25:36] average movie

[1:25:37] the 2.5 out of 5

[1:25:39] default movie

[1:25:40] Kansan and Cali

[1:25:42] I know

[1:25:42] I know that in the past

[1:25:43] we joked that

[1:25:44] ironically

[1:25:45] Trouble with the Curve

[1:25:46] is a straight down

[1:25:47] the middle movie

[1:25:48] I think that's a

[1:25:48] pretty good 2.5

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:50] that's still one of

[1:25:51] the first ones

[1:25:51] that came to mind

[1:25:52] when I was

[1:25:52] when I was hearing

[1:25:54] this question

[1:25:54] yeah

[1:25:54] Trouble with the Curve

[1:25:55] is a real 2.5-er

[1:25:56] I mean I think that

Dan McCoy

[1:25:58] there was a certain

[1:26:00] period in Clint Eastwood's

[1:26:01] life when he was

[1:26:02] you know

[1:26:02] giving us a lot

[1:26:03] of perfect 2.5

[1:26:06] yeah

[1:26:06] what's the one

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:07] there's the one

[1:26:07] where he's like

[1:26:08] he's a reporter

[1:26:09] who has to get

[1:26:09] someone off death row

[1:26:10] like

Dan McCoy

[1:26:11] blood work

[1:26:12] or

[1:26:12] that's the other

[1:26:14] it was called like

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:15] true crime

[1:26:15] or something like that

[1:26:16] and then blood work

[1:26:17] came out at the same time

[1:26:17] and those are both

[1:26:18] kind of like

[1:26:18] 2.5-ers

[1:26:20] yeah

[1:26:20] absolute power

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:21] yeah

[1:26:22] like

[1:26:22] I want to say

[1:26:23] that a lot of like

[1:26:24] Jason Statham

[1:26:25] action movies

[1:26:26] are kind of 2.5s

[1:26:27] like

[1:26:27] they have high points

[1:26:28] but they have low points

[1:26:29] and it kind of evens out

[1:26:30] but I don't know

[1:26:31] if I'm gonna totally

[1:26:32] commit to this decision

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:33] there's

[1:26:34] I was thinking about

[1:26:35] you know the movie

[1:26:35] One True Thing

[1:26:36] with Renee Zellweger

[1:26:37] and Meryl Streep

[1:26:37] where it's like a family

[1:26:39] and the mom is sick

[1:26:40] you could be making this up

[1:26:42] right now

[1:26:42] okay

[1:26:42] this is a real movie

[1:26:44] but it's

[1:26:44] then I'm doing

[1:26:45] then I

[1:26:45] it's exactly what I'm saying

[1:26:47] because it's a total

[1:26:48] not a bad movie

[1:26:49] not a particularly memorable movie

[1:26:51] and

[1:26:52] it's just

[1:26:53] yeah

[1:26:53] if it's on

[1:26:54] I could see

[1:26:55] watching it with your mom

[1:26:57] while you're visiting

[1:26:57] from out of town

[1:26:58] or something like that

[1:26:59] that was the slogan

[1:27:00] if it's on

[1:27:01] watch it with your mom

[1:27:02] yeah

[1:27:05] it was nominated

[1:27:06] for one Academy Award

[1:27:07] for Meryl Streep in it

[1:27:08] but it's

[1:27:08] but it's one of those movies

[1:27:09] that

[1:27:09] for best Meryl Streep

[1:27:11] for best Streep

[1:27:13] she lost

[1:27:14] she lost to Carl Streep

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:16] yeah

[1:27:17] I mean

[1:27:18] yeah

[1:27:19] like she's

[1:27:20] she's the goat

[1:27:21] you know

[1:27:22] like

[1:27:22] she's gonna

[1:27:23] she's gonna get

[1:27:24] she's gonna put up numbers

[1:27:25] you're gonna get awards for her

[1:27:26] she's great

[1:27:27] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:27] but it's one of those movies

[1:27:29] this movie's not bad

[1:27:29] but it's also not

[1:27:30] it doesn't feel special

[1:27:31] you know

[1:27:32] that's a 2.5-er

[1:27:33] here's

[1:27:33] here's my controversial take

[1:27:34] guys

[1:27:35] would you call

[1:27:36] Batteries Not Included

[1:27:37] a 2.5 movie

Dan McCoy

[1:27:38] uh

[1:27:40] yeah I would

[1:27:41] like it was

[1:27:42] it was

[1:27:43] good enough

[1:27:45] that I would watch it

[1:27:46] uh

[1:27:47] sort of

[1:27:47] out of like

[1:27:48] this bizarre feeling

[1:27:49] of boredom

[1:27:50] and obligation

[1:27:51] when it was on

[1:27:52] when I was a kid

[1:27:53] but I never

[1:27:53] actually seemed

[1:27:54] I don't feel like

[1:27:55] I enjoyed it that much

[1:27:56] like

[1:27:56] another movie that like

[1:27:58] I watched a lot

[1:27:59] as a kid

[1:28:00] always expecting it

[1:28:01] to be better

[1:28:02] was Brewster's Millions

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:04] yeah

[1:28:04] because it was on

[1:28:06] on Facebook

[1:28:07] it was on constantly

[1:28:07] and you're like

[1:28:08] this has gotta be funny

[1:28:10] these are funny people

[1:28:11] who are in it

[1:28:11] yeah

[1:28:12] it's gotta be good

[1:28:12] and you watch it

[1:28:13] oh alright

[1:28:13] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:28:14] it's not

[1:28:15] sort of wistful I guess

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:16] yeah

[1:28:16] it's not the toy

[1:28:17] I'm not horrified by it

[1:28:19] it's also not like

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:19] Silver Streak

[1:28:20] you know

[1:28:21] what about like

[1:28:22] Mom and Dad

[1:28:22] Save the World

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:23] yeah that's kind of

[1:28:24] a 2.5 movie

[1:28:25] that's one of those movies

[1:28:26] where you look at it

[1:28:27] that's almost too good

[1:28:28] you're like

[1:28:29] this is a lot

[1:28:29] this is a lot of money

[1:28:30] to put in a movie

[1:28:31] that's this mediocre

[1:28:31] you know

[1:28:32] there's a lot of

[1:28:33] a lot of costumes

[1:28:33] for this

[1:28:34] what about

[1:28:34] Spaced Invaders

[1:28:36] yeah

[1:28:37] I feel like

[1:28:38] you can have

[1:28:39] a triple feature

[1:28:40] of Batteries Not Included

[1:28:41] and Mom and Dad

[1:28:42] which is the like

[1:28:43] oh okay

[1:28:44] science fiction

[1:28:45] no one would go home

[1:28:45] happy or sad

[1:28:49] though

[1:28:49] when I was a kid

[1:28:50] I loved that movie

[1:28:51] but I think it was because

[1:28:52] I was just not used to seeing

[1:28:54] like science fiction comedies

[1:28:55] that were so science fiction heavy

Dan McCoy

[1:28:56] I think of those movies

[1:29:01] might be like

[1:29:02] edging into

[1:29:03] more just like good

[1:29:05] because I like that premise

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:06] it's like a 2.75

[1:29:07] it's a great premise

[1:29:08] but

[1:29:08] it's tough

[1:29:09] because I think it came out

[1:29:10] around the same time

[1:29:11] as Ernest Scared Stupid

[1:29:12] which of course

[1:29:13] is the best of the Ernest movies

[1:29:15] it fucking rules

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:16] that's a scary movie

[1:29:17] in the beginning

[1:29:18] it rocks

[1:29:18] Ernest Scared Stupid

[1:29:19] by the end

[1:29:21] when they're just running around

[1:29:21] in a field

[1:29:22] being chased by goblins

[1:29:23] and then chasing goblins

[1:29:24] it kind of loses

[1:29:25] the narrative tautness

[1:29:26] that it has the beginning

[1:29:27] but

[1:29:27] sure

Dan McCoy

[1:29:28] well I think we've talked

[1:29:31] about everything

[1:29:32] let's move on to

[1:29:33] recommendations of movies

[1:29:35] that probably

[1:29:36] would be

[1:29:37] more worthwhile

[1:29:39] use of your time

[1:29:39] than Spaced

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:40] or Mom and Dad

[1:29:42] or Matters Not Included

[1:29:43] I mean Spaced is a TV show

[1:29:45] Elliot

[1:29:45] oh sorry

[1:29:47] Spaced is a good show

[1:29:48] check that out

[1:29:49] I mean I haven't seen that

[1:29:50] a long time

[1:29:50] is there anything

[1:29:50] that doesn't age well

[1:29:51] in that

[1:29:52] probably

[1:29:52] but you know

[1:29:53] you always gotta

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:54] you know

[1:29:55] it came from a specific time

[1:29:57] it was important to us

[1:29:58] when we were at that age

[1:29:59] you know

[1:29:59] yada yada yada

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:00] can you imagine

[1:30:01] how amazing it was

[1:30:02] back then

[1:30:02] when we saw

[1:30:03] a TV show

[1:30:04] and we're like

[1:30:04] they're making like

[1:30:05] science fiction

[1:30:05] and comic book jokes

[1:30:06] in this TV show

[1:30:07] it seemed amazing

[1:30:09] and like using

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:11] like cinematic references

[1:30:13] in the like

[1:30:14] filmmaking of the TV show

[1:30:15] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:30:16] um

[1:30:18] hey let's do

[1:30:19] recommendations

[1:30:19] it's too bad

[1:30:20] those guys never did

[1:30:20] anything else

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:21] those guys

[1:30:21] in big space

[1:30:22] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:30:23] I'm gonna recommend

[1:30:25] a movie that

[1:30:26] I went to a screening

[1:30:27] of recently

[1:30:27] and as I was leaving

[1:30:29] someone I don't

[1:30:30] like they either

[1:30:31] recognized me

[1:30:31] or heard my voice

[1:30:32] said you gonna

[1:30:33] recommend this

[1:30:34] and so this is for you

[1:30:36] I uh

[1:30:37] was that Eric Adams

[1:30:38] who said that to you

[1:30:39] yeah

[1:30:40] Dan's getting catcalled

[1:30:41] now

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:41] hey you gonna

[1:30:43] recommend that

[1:30:44] sweetheart

[1:30:45] that's what they said

Dan McCoy

[1:30:46] yep

[1:30:47] uh

[1:30:47] it's a movie called

[1:30:49] Dr. Caligari

[1:30:50] from 1989

[1:30:52] uh

[1:30:53] and it was

[1:30:55] uh

[1:30:55] directed by

[1:30:56] this uh

[1:30:58] director

[1:30:58] let me look up

[1:30:59] the name actually

[1:31:00] they made

[1:31:01] uh

[1:31:02] Cafe Flesh

[1:31:03] the uh

[1:31:04] sort of cult

[1:31:04] favorite

[1:31:06] pornographic film

[1:31:07] uh

[1:31:08] Steven

[1:31:09] Saed

[1:31:10] I don't know

[1:31:12] how to say

[1:31:12] this last name

[1:31:12] Saedian

[1:31:13] Saedian

[1:31:14] keep trying

[1:31:15] this is good content

[1:31:16] good stuff

[1:31:17] um

[1:31:18] but it is

[1:31:20] a wild movie

[1:31:21] like

[1:31:21] it presents

[1:31:23] like it's going

[1:31:24] to be kind of

[1:31:24] a sexploitation movie

[1:31:25] but really doesn't

[1:31:26] have like

[1:31:27] ultimately that much

[1:31:29] sex in it

[1:31:30] it's just a lot

[1:31:31] of kind of

[1:31:31] just weirdness

[1:31:33] um

[1:31:34] it

[1:31:35] it describes

[1:31:35] a lot of sex

[1:31:36] to me

[1:31:36] the title

[1:31:37] obviously is

[1:31:39] referencing the

[1:31:40] cabinet of Dr. Caligari

[1:31:41] and the only thing

[1:31:42] it shares with that

[1:31:43] movie is like

[1:31:43] it's set in this

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:44] put me in that

[1:31:45] cabinet too

[1:31:46] and they wouldn't

[1:31:46] let me out

[1:31:46] those bully kids

[1:31:47] of mine

Dan McCoy

[1:31:47] mental institution

[1:31:50] um

[1:31:51] and it is done

[1:31:52] in a style

[1:31:53] that evokes

[1:31:54] German expressionism

[1:31:55] but also kind of

[1:31:56] looks like

[1:31:56] when it was made

[1:31:57] 1989

[1:31:58] it like

[1:31:58] feels like

[1:32:00] Pee Wee's

[1:32:00] playground

[1:32:01] trapper keeper

[1:32:01] sort of version

[1:32:02] of German

[1:32:03] expressionism

[1:32:04] and uh

[1:32:06] it's just a lot

[1:32:07] made with a little

[1:32:08] it's a very striking

[1:32:09] looking movie

[1:32:11] that doesn't

[1:32:13] really have

[1:32:14] much of a plot

[1:32:16] that you're gonna

[1:32:17] want to follow

[1:32:17] or care about

[1:32:18] but at the same

[1:32:20] time

[1:32:20] that doesn't matter

[1:32:21] maybe it's

[1:32:22] 20 minutes too long

[1:32:23] for a movie

[1:32:24] that doesn't offer

[1:32:25] uh

[1:32:26] normal payoffs

[1:32:27] but it's

[1:32:28] pretty amazing

[1:32:29] to look at

[1:32:29] and it's co-written

[1:32:30] by of course

[1:32:31] uh

[1:32:32] Jerry Stahl

[1:32:33] the famous

[1:32:33] heroine

[1:32:34] using Al Frider

[1:32:35] who wrote

[1:32:36] Permanent Midnight

[1:32:37] um

[1:32:38] so

[1:32:39] there you go

[1:32:40] Dr. Caligari

[1:32:42] if you like weird

[1:32:42] stuff

[1:32:43] seek it out

[1:32:43] we do

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:44] we like weird

[1:32:45] stuff here in

[1:32:45] the Flophouse

[1:32:47] a new movie

[1:32:49] uh

[1:32:50] Dan Jerry Stahl

[1:32:51] also worked on

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:51] Bad Boys 2

[1:32:52] let's not forget that

[1:32:53] okay

Dan McCoy

[1:32:54] I don't wanna put

[1:32:54] him in a box

[1:32:55] I just

[1:32:55] you know

[1:32:56] I think

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:56] he's not just a

[1:32:57] heroine using

[1:32:57] Al Frider

[1:32:58] he's also

Dan McCoy

[1:32:58] a former heroine

[1:32:59] using Bad Boys 2

[1:33:01] writer

[1:33:01] yeah

[1:33:02] but that's

[1:33:02] that's not as weird

[1:33:03] a juxtaposition

[1:33:04] as Al

[1:33:05] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:05] that's fair

[1:33:06] that's fair

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:07] so I'm gonna recommend

[1:33:09] that's not

[1:33:09] uh

[1:33:10] to my knowledge

[1:33:11] written by a heroine

[1:33:12] using Al Frider

[1:33:13] uh

Dan McCoy

[1:33:14] this is all

[1:33:14] you know

[1:33:15] he wrote about it

[1:33:16] in his memoir

[1:33:16] I don't

[1:33:17] I'm not

[1:33:17] yeah

[1:33:18] which was made

[1:33:18] into a film

[1:33:19] yeah

[1:33:19] you're not

[1:33:19] this is not

[1:33:20] slander or rival

[1:33:21] or whatever

[1:33:21] one is spoken

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:22] you're not gossiping

[1:33:23] this isn't a non-blind item

[1:33:24] this is Dan's blind items

[1:33:27] newspaper

[1:33:28] what elf writer

[1:33:29] has become

[1:33:30] a huge heroin user

[1:33:31] Jerry Stahl

[1:33:32] that's it

[1:33:32] Dan can you come

[1:33:35] into my office

Dan McCoy

[1:33:36] I think he's recovered

[1:33:36] I think he's recovered now

[1:33:38] I think he's

[1:33:38] Dan can you come

[1:33:39] into my office

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:39] you're not supposed

[1:33:40] to name the people

[1:33:41] in the blind items

[1:33:42] oh I thought

[1:33:43] I was supposed

[1:33:43] to name them

[1:33:44] and then blind them

[1:33:44] no Dan

[1:33:45] no no no

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:46] no you're supposed

[1:33:47] to

[1:33:47] you're supposed

[1:33:48] to pose a question

[1:33:49] and then possibly

[1:33:50] use a picture

[1:33:50] of Haley Joel Osmond

[1:33:52] or like Walla Sean

[1:33:53] or something

Dan McCoy

[1:33:53] what am I supposed

[1:33:55] to do with all

[1:33:56] these eyeballs

[1:33:56] I've collected

[1:33:57] that's up to you

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:58] yeah you need

[1:34:00] to have like

[1:34:01] two pictures

[1:34:01] next to each other

[1:34:02] one is a young

[1:34:03] actress

[1:34:04] and the next

[1:34:04] is Walla Sean

[1:34:05] so they think

[1:34:06] that somehow

[1:34:06] heroin has morphed

[1:34:07] her into Walla Sean

[1:34:08] okay so I'm

[1:34:11] going to recommend

[1:34:12] that's kind of

[1:34:12] about morphing

[1:34:14] I watched

[1:34:15] The Iron Claw

[1:34:17] it's a little

[1:34:18] indie film

[1:34:19] about big old

[1:34:20] muscly boys

[1:34:22] it's a biopic

[1:34:25] about the

[1:34:25] Von Erich

[1:34:26] wrestling family

[1:34:27] and it's got

[1:34:29] a lot of great

[1:34:30] actors in it

[1:34:31] you got

[1:34:31] Holt McClainy

[1:34:33] you got

[1:34:34] Jeremy Allen White

[1:34:34] and you got

[1:34:35] the biggest

[1:34:36] muscliest

[1:34:36] boy of them all

[1:34:39] Zac Efron

[1:34:40] putting in

[1:34:41] some big pounds

[1:34:42] there boy

[1:34:42] he changed

[1:34:43] his body

[1:34:43] he is so wide

[1:34:45] he looks like

[1:34:45] a fucking barrel

[1:34:46] I love it

[1:34:47] I can't get

[1:34:47] enough

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:48] are you recommending

[1:34:49] the movie

[1:34:49] or just looking

[1:34:50] at a picture

[1:34:51] of him

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:51] I mean

[1:34:52] you could do

[1:34:53] both

[1:34:53] like maybe

[1:34:54] maybe two

[1:34:55] like screen

[1:34:56] and screen

[1:34:57] while you're

[1:34:57] watching it

[1:34:58] I mean

[1:35:00] but he's

[1:35:00] in the movie

[1:35:01] why you need

[1:35:01] the screen

[1:35:02] there's scenes

[1:35:02] where he's not

[1:35:03] in it though

[1:35:03] dude

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:04] that's the second

[1:35:04] screen experience

[1:35:05] just having

[1:35:06] you have a picture

[1:35:07] of him on your phone

[1:35:08] so you can hold

[1:35:08] it up to look at

[1:35:09] while the scenes

[1:35:10] he's not in

[1:35:10] are playing

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:11] boring

[1:35:12] so this is a movie

[1:35:13] about a family

[1:35:14] of young wrestlers

[1:35:15] who are

[1:35:17] trying to

[1:35:18] like establish

[1:35:19] their name

[1:35:20] and trying to

[1:35:21] you know

[1:35:22] make it in the

[1:35:23] big wrestling world

[1:35:24] and

[1:35:25] there

[1:35:26] while suffering

[1:35:27] under the yoke

[1:35:28] of a

[1:35:28] let's say

[1:35:29] abusive father

[1:35:31] the performances

[1:35:32] are great

[1:35:33] it's super sad

[1:35:34] I went into the movie

[1:35:35] intentionally

[1:35:36] like not looking up

[1:35:37] anything about the family

[1:35:38] and then I looked it

[1:35:39] all up afterwards

[1:35:40] and I'm like

[1:35:40] holy shit

[1:35:41] this is horrible

[1:35:42] so if you want

[1:35:44] like really sad

[1:35:45] horrible true story

[1:35:46] that they've even

[1:35:46] like edited

[1:35:47] to make it less

[1:35:48] horrible

[1:35:48] and although

[1:35:50] I like the movie

[1:35:52] as a whole

[1:35:53] I do feel like

[1:35:54] this is a little bit

[1:35:55] of a spoiler

[1:35:56] I guess

[1:35:56] but at the end

[1:35:58] there is like

[1:35:58] some text on the screen

[1:36:00] that says like

[1:36:00] the Von Ericks

[1:36:02] were inducted

[1:36:02] into the WWE

[1:36:03] Hall of Fame

[1:36:05] and they're considered

[1:36:05] one of the wrestling

[1:36:06] great wrestling dynasties

[1:36:07] and I'm like

[1:36:08] what the fuck

[1:36:09] did the dad

[1:36:10] write this shit

[1:36:11] like that is not

[1:36:11] the message

[1:36:13] the message

[1:36:14] is that wrestling

[1:36:15] is great

[1:36:16] and it's worth it

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:17] what it should have

[1:36:17] said at the end

[1:36:18] was the Von Ericks

[1:36:19] developed a thinking machine

[1:36:20] we know them now

[1:36:21] as computers

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:21] yeah

[1:36:22] oh and I also forgot

[1:36:23] we got another

[1:36:24] we got more of tyranny

[1:36:25] in this movie

[1:36:25] we got another

[1:36:26] young hot boy

[1:36:27] Harris Dickinson

[1:36:28] oh man it's great

[1:36:29] thumbs up

[1:36:30] thumbs up

[1:36:31] big old muscles

[1:36:32] and I gotta find out

[1:36:33] gotta find out

[1:36:34] how he got that wide

[1:36:35] you know

[1:36:35] he's really big

[1:36:36] right Dan

Dan McCoy

[1:36:37] yes

[1:36:38] I was perturbed

[1:36:39] when you seem to

[1:36:40] want to look like him

[1:36:42] because to me

[1:36:42] he looks like

[1:36:44] if like He-Man

[1:36:45] was even like

[1:36:46] squashed

[1:36:47] in water

[1:36:47] yeah it's a He-Man

[1:36:48] that a kid

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:50] has been stepping on

[1:36:50] a lot

[1:36:51] oh man

[1:36:52] oh I wanna be

[1:36:53] a stepped on He-Man

[1:36:54] Dan

[1:36:55] potty dysmorphia

[1:36:56] you can't explain it

[1:36:57] it just happens

[1:36:58] you can't control it

[1:36:59] yeah

[1:36:59] oh no

[1:37:00] Stuart

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:01] you can only get out

[1:37:02] of its way

[1:37:02] I guess

[1:37:03] no you just

[1:37:04] yeah you gotta roll

[1:37:05] with it

[1:37:05] or see a therapist

[1:37:06] too real

[1:37:06] I mean

[1:37:07] men would rather

[1:37:09] be squashed He-Man

[1:37:10] than see a therapist

[1:37:14] a movie that I think

[1:37:14] is gonna be a

[1:37:15] controversial one

[1:37:15] possibly

[1:37:16] I don't remember

[1:37:16] but I feel like

[1:37:17] I have a sense

[1:37:18] that you guys

[1:37:18] don't like this movie

[1:37:20] I haven't seen

[1:37:21] Poor Things yet

[1:37:22] but I wanted to

[1:37:23] catch up on my

[1:37:24] Yorgos Lanthimos

[1:37:25] and so I finally

[1:37:26] got around to seeing

[1:37:27] The Killing of a Sacred Deer

[1:37:28] which I had heard

[1:37:30] mixed things about

[1:37:31] and I knew people

[1:37:31] who did not like it

[1:37:33] and so I was like

[1:37:33] alright I'll watch this

[1:37:34] I bet I'm probably

[1:37:35] not gonna like it

[1:37:35] and I really liked it

[1:37:37] it was exactly

[1:37:38] what I wanted

Dan McCoy

[1:37:38] out of that movie

[1:37:39] I only saw it

[1:37:39] recently

[1:37:40] so I

[1:37:41] you know

[1:37:42] you may have been

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:43] I'm not a huge fan

[1:37:44] I'm not a big

[1:37:44] I'm the resident

[1:37:46] non-Yorgos fan

[1:37:47] Stuart does not like

[1:37:48] Yorgos

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:48] I know you didn't

[1:37:49] like The Lobster

[1:37:49] but the

[1:37:50] it is

[1:37:51] I found it to be

[1:37:52] genuinely very

[1:37:53] upsetting

[1:37:54] in a way that I liked

[1:37:55] but there are also

[1:37:56] parts that I found

[1:37:56] funny in a way

[1:37:58] where I was like

[1:37:58] I shouldn't be laughing

[1:37:59] at this

[1:38:00] but this is pretty funny

[1:38:01] and

[1:38:01] well

[1:38:02] would he ask

Dan McCoy

[1:38:03] spoiler

[1:38:04] would he

[1:38:05] essentially ask

[1:38:06] the principal

[1:38:06] to rank his children

[1:38:08] for reasons

[1:38:09] I will not

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:09] he has found

[1:38:12] this level

[1:38:13] where Colin Farrell

[1:38:14] is the most

[1:38:15] pathetic man

[1:38:15] in the world

[1:38:16] both in this

[1:38:16] and in The Lobster

[1:38:17] someone who just

[1:38:18] cannot understand

[1:38:19] how to interact

[1:38:19] with human beings

[1:38:20] or feel emotions

[1:38:21] but is a person

[1:38:23] is not like

[1:38:23] is not a weirdo

[1:38:25] and he's

[1:38:25] he managed to do

[1:38:26] in this movie

[1:38:27] in a way

[1:38:28] what I think

[1:38:28] leave the world behind

[1:38:29] was kind of trying

[1:38:30] to do

[1:38:31] which is to show you

[1:38:32] people who seem

[1:38:33] to be

[1:38:34] in a good position

[1:38:35] and kind of reveal

[1:38:36] that they are actually

[1:38:37] messes

[1:38:38] and how little

[1:38:38] logic or reason

[1:38:40] needs to be removed

[1:38:41] for a family

[1:38:42] to fall apart

[1:38:42] you know

[1:38:43] how

[1:38:43] if something inexplicable

[1:38:45] causes these emotional bonds

[1:38:46] to dissolve

[1:38:47] you gotta introduce

Stuart Wellington

[1:38:47] a little goblin

[1:38:48] like Barry Kagan

[1:38:49] all you need

[1:38:51] is a Barry Kagan goblin

[1:38:52] to show up

[1:38:53] and it just ruins everything

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:54] it's a movie

[1:38:55] that I'd recommend

[1:38:56] if you like

[1:38:56] this kind of movie

[1:38:57] because I think

[1:38:58] it's very good

[1:38:58] for this kind of movie

[1:38:59] but if you do not

[1:39:00] like this kind of movie

[1:39:01] then don't see this movie

[1:39:03] but I was

[1:39:04] I was genuinely

[1:39:04] pleasantly surprised

[1:39:06] to see like

[1:39:06] oh I find this movie

[1:39:07] really affecting

[1:39:08] in an unpleasant way

[1:39:09] but in an unpleasant way

[1:39:10] that I liked

[1:39:11] because it's what

[1:39:11] I was looking for

[1:39:12] from a Yorgos Lanthimos

[1:39:13] yeah I liked it

Dan McCoy

[1:39:14] fairly well

[1:39:14] as well

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:15] and it's just

[1:39:16] really well made

[1:39:17] like there's

[1:39:17] I kept

[1:39:18] I felt bad

[1:39:19] I watched it

[1:39:20] not too long after

[1:39:20] we watched

[1:39:20] Leave the World Behind

[1:39:21] leave the world behind

[1:39:22] there'll be nothing

[1:39:23] going on

[1:39:24] but the music

[1:39:24] will be creepy

[1:39:25] and it doesn't work

[1:39:25] in this

[1:39:26] you're just watching

[1:39:27] someone walk down

[1:39:28] a hallway

[1:39:28] and the music

[1:39:29] is creepy

[1:39:29] and it works for me

[1:39:31] and so

[1:39:31] maybe I just was

[1:39:32] not giving that movie

[1:39:33] the credit

[1:39:33] that I give

[1:39:34] to Lanthimos

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:36] yeah but you also

[1:39:37] he has

[1:39:38] he has a

[1:39:39] provocateur pedigree

[1:39:41] yes

[1:39:41] if I just let him

[1:39:43] linger on a scene

[1:39:44] he can throw

[1:39:45] something fucked up

[1:39:46] and won't care about it

[1:39:47] yes

[1:39:48] and that he will

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:49] pay it off

[1:39:50] he is not gonna

[1:39:50] he's not gonna

[1:39:51] weasel out of it

[1:39:51] he will kill his sacred deer

[1:39:52] he will kill his sacred deer

[1:39:53] the same way that

[1:39:55] one of the things I loved

[1:39:55] about Banshee

[1:39:56] in a Sharon

[1:39:57] which also Colin Farrell

[1:39:58] is that

[1:39:58] that movie sets up

[1:40:00] and Barry Kagan

[1:40:00] best buddies forever

[1:40:03] yeah

[1:40:03] that

[1:40:04] it sets up a bad situation

[1:40:06] and then doesn't let the characters

[1:40:07] out of that situation

[1:40:08] it plays it out

[1:40:09] to the worst end

[1:40:10] it can get to

[1:40:10] and this felt the same way to me

[1:40:13] to see a movie

[1:40:13] where the characters

[1:40:14] have to squirm

[1:40:15] and they have to pay for this

[1:40:16] you know

[1:40:17] they're stuck in a bad situation

[1:40:18] and they can't get out

[1:40:19] there's no clever way

[1:40:20] to solve it

[1:40:20] was really

[1:40:22] you know

[1:40:23] I liked seeing

[1:40:24] because I liked to see

[1:40:24] characters suffer I guess

[1:40:25] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:40:26] no I mean

[1:40:27] if I had to

[1:40:28] psychoanalyze it

[1:40:29] like I think it's comforting

[1:40:30] to have

[1:40:32] a movie

[1:40:33] tell you the truth

[1:40:34] that like

[1:40:35] you know

[1:40:36] sometimes there is no

[1:40:37] easy way out

[1:40:38] you know

[1:40:39] rather than

[1:40:39] it always being

[1:40:41] you know

[1:40:42] a softer ending

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:44] and as

[1:40:45] it plays into

[1:40:46] this kind of like

[1:40:47] ancient Greek idea

[1:40:48] of

[1:40:48] kind of cruel justice

[1:40:50] of the gods

[1:40:51] and the older I get

[1:40:52] the more I kind of

[1:40:53] find myself

[1:40:54] not wanting to see that

[1:40:55] in real life

[1:40:55] but appreciating

[1:40:56] longing for the cruel

Dan McCoy

[1:40:56] justice of the gods

[1:40:58] to smite your enemies

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:59] exactly

[1:41:00] in the art that I see

[1:41:02] I'm coming to appreciate

[1:41:03] more this idea

[1:41:04] that justice

[1:41:05] and humanity

[1:41:06] are not necessarily

[1:41:07] on the same level

[1:41:08] that there's a

[1:41:09] the disconnect

[1:41:10] between human desires

[1:41:11] and the coldness

[1:41:13] of the universe

[1:41:13] and how to square that

[1:41:14] is something that

[1:41:15] I'm coming to

[1:41:16] want more and more

[1:41:17] in my media

[1:41:18] at the moment

[1:41:18] so I don't know why

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:20] it's perfect for like

[1:41:20] a family movie night

[1:41:21] or something to watch

[1:41:22] with your mom

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:23] check your brain

[1:41:24] at the door

[1:41:24] because if you can't

[1:41:27] censor

[1:41:27] if your senses

[1:41:28] can't process

[1:41:29] what you're seeing

[1:41:29] that much less

[1:41:30] upsetting

[1:41:31] yeah

[1:41:32] but remember

[1:41:34] to keep your claim

[1:41:35] checked

[1:41:35] for your brain

[1:41:36] exactly

[1:41:37] because I had that

[1:41:38] happen once

[1:41:38] I went to the theater

[1:41:39] I checked my brain

[1:41:39] I lost the check

[1:41:40] they gave me

[1:41:41] the wrong brain

[1:41:41] and for like a week

[1:41:43] I was an accountant

Dan McCoy

[1:41:44] that's not an easy

[1:41:46] thing to figure out

[1:41:46] because you've got

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:47] someone else's brain

[1:41:48] so like

Dan McCoy

[1:41:49] I mean

[1:41:50] basically like

[1:41:51] you look in the mirror

[1:41:52] then there's a little bit

[1:41:53] of a disconnect

[1:41:54] like something's wrong

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:55] you're like

[1:41:56] that's not the face

[1:41:56] that's supposed to go

[1:41:57] with my brain

[1:41:58] and they gave my brain

[1:41:59] to Chris Pine

[1:42:00] so my brain

[1:42:01] did not want to get moved

[1:42:02] that was the thing

[1:42:03] when we were supposed to

[1:42:04] I got another guy's brain

[1:42:06] Chris Pine got my brain

[1:42:07] and so we had to switch

[1:42:08] and my brain

[1:42:09] was literally like

[1:42:10] holding on with his tendrils

[1:42:11] to the inside of Chris Pine's skull

[1:42:12] because he didn't want to leave

[1:42:14] and come back to me

[1:42:15] hey I would too

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:15] you know

[1:42:15] yeah

[1:42:15] and the brain was like

[1:42:17] I cannot be shoved

[1:42:18] in any more cabinets

[1:42:18] by Elliot's children

[1:42:19] that was

[1:42:20] Chris Pine never gets shoved

[1:42:21] in a cabinet

[1:42:22] no he doesn't

Dan McCoy

[1:42:22] no one puts Chris Pine

[1:42:24] in a cabinet

[1:42:25] I mean

[1:42:25] I've tried

[1:42:27] just because

[1:42:29] yeah

[1:42:29] just keep it to yourself

[1:42:30] how many people

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:31] are drawing chalk drawings

[1:42:32] of Chris Pine

[1:42:33] sitting on a toilet

[1:42:34] and making fun of his parts

[1:42:35] nobody

[1:42:36] nobody

[1:42:37] never happens

[1:42:38] oh man

Dan McCoy

[1:42:38] one of many ways

[1:42:41] in which your life

[1:42:42] differs from that

[1:42:43] of Chris Pine

[1:42:43] that's the main way

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:44] that's the main way

[1:42:45] my life is different

[1:42:46] from Chris Pine's

[1:42:47] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:42:49] so that was you

[1:42:51] in Dungeons & Dragons

[1:42:52] yeah

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:52] I bet his farts

[1:42:56] smell good

[1:42:56] ask your kids

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:57] I mean

[1:42:58] I asked my kids

[1:43:00] if they would know

[1:43:00] I mean

[1:43:01] I did tell

[1:43:01] I was

[1:43:02] I walked with Chris Pine

[1:43:03] on the picket line

[1:43:04] not with him

[1:43:04] but like

[1:43:05] we were on the same

[1:43:05] picket line

[1:43:06] and he had me walk around

[1:43:07] he didn't fart

[1:43:07] while I was walking

[1:43:08] near him

[1:43:08] so I don't

[1:43:09] if they smelled good

[1:43:10] or not

[1:43:10] man you should have

[1:43:11] asked him too

Dan McCoy

[1:43:11] now what

[1:43:12] surprising

[1:43:13] piece of style

[1:43:15] like what was he wearing

[1:43:16] he was wearing

[1:43:17] he was wearing

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:17] kind of boat shoes

[1:43:19] with kind of capri-ish

[1:43:20] pants that were loose

[1:43:21] at the bottom

[1:43:21] not tight but loose

[1:43:22] but they were short

[1:43:23] no socks

[1:43:24] and kind of an open

[1:43:25] and a button

[1:43:26] button down blue shirt

[1:43:27] open

[1:43:27] and sunglasses

[1:43:29] and like a sweater

[1:43:30] on top of that

[1:43:31] that was like a grandma's

[1:43:32] cardigan

[1:43:33] that's unbuttoned

[1:43:34] it looked like he was

[1:43:35] on vacation

[1:43:35] it was not

[1:43:36] the biggest

[1:43:36] not the biggest

[1:43:37] I could see you

[1:43:39] wearing that outfit

[1:43:40] instantly

[1:43:40] oh man I want it so bad

[1:43:42] oh and aviator sunglasses

[1:43:43] those two

[1:43:44] yeah yeah

[1:43:44] oh man

Dan McCoy

[1:43:45] Chris Pine

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:47] guys

[1:43:49] it's been fun

[1:43:50] but

Dan McCoy

[1:43:51] I'm afraid

[1:43:52] this is where

[1:43:53] I leave you

[1:43:53] and all of you

[1:43:55] for this episode

[1:43:56] of the Flophouse

[1:43:57] we exist

[1:43:59] in large part

[1:44:01] because we have

[1:44:01] partnered with

[1:44:02] the Maximum Fun

[1:44:03] Network

[1:44:04] you can find

[1:44:05] all their other

[1:44:06] podcasts at

[1:44:06] MaximumFun.org

[1:44:08] soon

[1:44:10] the drive

[1:44:12] the Maximum Fun

[1:44:12] drive will be

[1:44:13] coming up

[1:44:13] I hope that

[1:44:14] those who can

[1:44:15] would consider

[1:44:17] supporting the

[1:44:18] continued existence

[1:44:19] of the show

[1:44:19] by paying

[1:44:21] us

[1:44:22] but we'll talk

[1:44:23] about that later

[1:44:24] for now

[1:44:25] just see

[1:44:26] see those other

[1:44:27] shows

[1:44:28] like I said

[1:44:28] check it out

[1:44:29] thank you to

[1:44:30] Alex Smith

[1:44:31] our producer

[1:44:32] he goes by the name

[1:44:34] Howell Dottie

[1:44:35] on

[1:44:36] all the various

[1:44:38] socials and such

[1:44:40] MySpace

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:41] Friendster

[1:44:43] I just

Dan McCoy

[1:44:43] you know

[1:44:43] I realized

[1:44:44] I was steering

[1:44:45] into talking

[1:44:46] about a certain

[1:44:47] website

[1:44:48] that now I hate

[1:44:49] so I steered away

[1:44:51] if you have the

[1:44:53] time

[1:44:53] and the

[1:44:53] information

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:54] give us

[1:44:56] Dr. Skin

[1:44:57] he went back

[1:44:58] he went

[1:44:59] God who got

[1:45:00] his PhD

[1:45:00] he's not a

[1:45:01] medical doctor

[1:45:02] no he got a

[1:45:03] doctor in

[1:45:04] English literature

[1:45:05] yeah

[1:45:05] Dr. Skin

[1:45:09] medicine

[1:45:09] pervert

[1:45:10] but anyway

[1:45:10] you're saying

[1:45:10] look for

[1:45:11] health

[1:45:12] dermatologist

Dan McCoy

[1:45:12] yeah

[1:45:13] that's true

[1:45:14] that's a fair

[1:45:15] point

[1:45:15] yeah

[1:45:16] why do I have

[1:45:16] to be fully

[1:45:17] nude for this

[1:45:17] dermatology

[1:45:18] appointment

[1:45:19] that's the way

[1:45:20] Dr. Skin

[1:45:20] works

[1:45:21] you gotta get

[1:45:22] all the

[1:45:22] anyway

[1:45:23] what were we

[1:45:24] oh we're

[1:45:25] signing off

[1:45:25] point is

[1:45:26] you know

[1:45:27] if you like

[1:45:27] the show

[1:45:27] and why

[1:45:28] wouldn't you

[1:45:29] really

[1:45:29] if you look

[1:45:30] at your

[1:45:30] heart

[1:45:30] why don't you

[1:45:32] give us a good

[1:45:32] review over

[1:45:33] at iTunes

[1:45:34] but for the

[1:45:37] Flophouse

[1:45:37] I've been Dan

[1:45:38] McCoy

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:38] and I'm

[1:45:40] soon to be

[1:45:41] Stuart

[1:45:42] Wellington

[1:45:42] and I'm

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:44] soon to be

[1:45:45] pushed into

[1:45:45] a cabinet

[1:45:46] by a 5 year

[1:45:46] old and a

[1:45:47] 10 year old

[1:45:47] Elliot Kalin

[1:45:48] saying don't

[1:45:49] stop

[1:45:49] stop putting

[1:45:49] me in that

[1:45:50] cabinet

[1:45:50] bye

[1:45:52] yeah let's

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:58] burn all our

[1:45:59] bridges

[1:45:59] but not

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:00] Jeff Bridges

[1:46:01] he's a national

[1:46:02] treasure

[1:46:02] do not burn

[1:46:03] him

[1:46:03] yeah exactly

Stuart Wellington

[1:46:03] although imagine

[1:46:05] how good he

[1:46:05] would be at

[1:46:06] acting that

[1:46:07] he's on fire

[1:46:08] oh amazing

[1:46:09] the range

[1:46:10] this man

[1:46:10] has

[1:46:10] whoa

[1:46:11] and you're only

[1:46:13] doing one of

[1:46:14] his characters

[1:46:15] yeah that's

[1:46:15] I mean that's

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:16] pretty close to

[1:46:17] the real man

[1:46:18] at this point

[1:46:18] yeah

[1:46:18] the

Stuart Wellington

[1:46:19] yeah the

[1:46:20] you mean the

[1:46:22] old man

[1:46:22] on AMC

[1:46:24] yeah yeah

[1:46:24] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:24] yeah I think

[1:46:25] if I'm looking

[1:46:26] at Jeff Bridges

[1:46:26] I don't think

[1:46:27] I watched one

Dan McCoy

[1:46:27] episode of that

[1:46:28] and I enjoyed it

[1:46:29] and then I forgot

[1:46:29] to return to it

[1:46:30] yes

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:30] that happens

[1:46:31] to a lot of

[1:46:32] shows

[1:46:32] yeah

[1:46:33] hey you know

[1:46:33] what's great

[1:46:34] a show where

[1:46:34] you don't need

[1:46:35] to worry about

[1:46:35] that because

[1:46:36] it's just a

[1:46:36] pleasant show

[1:46:37] you turn on

[1:46:37] whenever

[1:46:38] you don't have

[1:46:38] to watch

[1:46:39] all the episodes

[1:46:40] you know

Dan McCoy

[1:46:40] it's called

[1:46:41] The Flop House

[1:46:42] Maximum Fun

[1:46:44] a worker-owned

[1:46:45] network

[1:46:45] of artist-owned

[1:46:46] shows

[1:46:47] supported

[1:46:48] directly

[1:46:48] by you

Ep.#414 - Kangaroo Jack

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