Ep.#414 - Kangaroo Jack

[0:00] Hi Floppers, before we start our regular nonsense, we wanted to make sure you knew the Flophouse

[0:05] is going on a four-city West Coast tour this January.

[0:08] It's the Flophouse Errors Tour, the biggest event in pop culture entertainment this year,

[0:14] probably.

[0:15] You can see us in Vancouver on Wednesday, January 24th at the Rio Theater.

[0:19] In Portland on Thursday, January 25th at the Aladdin Theater.

[0:22] In San Francisco on Friday, January 26th at Cobb's Comedy Club as part of San Francisco

[0:28] Sketch Fest, and in Los Angeles on Sunday, January 28th at the Regent Theater.

[0:32] For tickets, go to flophousepodcast.com slash events.

[0:36] Again, that's flophousepodcast.com slash events.

[0:40] The Flophouse Live is like the podcast, but you can smell us.

[0:43] And now, without further ado, our regular nonsense.

[0:47] Let's see, do I have a hot one?

[0:48] You know it, bitch.

[0:49] Fire it up, Dan.

[0:50] Okay.

[0:51] Dan, the man said fire it up.

[0:55] Fire it up.

[0:56] All right.

[0:57] So this episode, we discuss Kangaroo Jack.

[1:00] So wait, is that the thing where you put your hands in the pocket of your hoodie and then

[1:05] you use your really strong legs to manipulate your dingus?

[1:10] I guess that was the hot one.

[1:15] So yeah, no, Dan, now's the time to do the hot one.

[1:27] Hey, everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse.

[1:45] I'm Dan McCoy.

[1:46] Hey, Dan.

[1:47] It's me, Stuart Wellington, your old pal.

[1:48] Yeah.

[1:49] Good to see you.

[1:50] Hi, Dan and Stuart.

[1:51] I didn't mean to interrupt your one-on-one conversation, but I'm Elliot, the other co-host

[1:54] of the show.

[1:55] Oh, hey, look.

[1:56] He's on the computer.

[1:57] He's like a little guy inside a box.

[2:00] I mean, even in real life, I'm a little guy, so it's...

[2:02] Yeah, and kind of in real life, we're all in people's computers, which is what phones

[2:07] are, right?

[2:08] Mm-hmm.

[2:09] Pocket computers.

[2:10] Mm-hmm.

[2:11] Well, okay.

[2:12] Here we are at The Flophouse.

[2:13] This is The Flophouse, the show where we describe things everybody knows about as if it's a

[2:18] new thing.

[2:19] As if we've arrived from another planet.

[2:23] No, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[2:27] And I'll say something.

[2:28] Normally, on The Flophouse, we watch a newer bad movie.

[2:32] Sure.

[2:33] Early on, this was a way to sort of set us apart from, you know, like Mystery Science

[2:38] Theater, say, had covered all of the classic bad movies and there'd been hundreds of books

[2:42] about bad movies and how hilarious bad movies are.

[2:46] I'm just saying, we didn't invent it.

[2:47] Was that a ghost talking about how funny bad movies are?

[2:50] Yeah.

[2:51] And so, for a while, we focused on the new stuff, which also set us apart from other

[2:55] bad movie podcasts to, you know, it was a branding thing.

[2:58] But now, during the strike, we went back to some older bad movies and we're like, hey,

[3:03] this is fun.

[3:04] So, we figured, let's do it more often.

[3:06] Why not?

[3:07] Mm-hmm.

[3:08] You know?

[3:09] We ran the rules.

[3:10] We made up the fire pole to the suits in charge of The Flophouse.

[3:11] Yeah.

[3:12] And we're like, can we do this?

[3:13] Turned out to be us.

[3:14] Yeah.

[3:15] We fought in the room.

[3:16] Wow.

[3:17] By us.

[3:18] By us.

[3:19] So, today, we're talking about Kangaroo Jack, a movie that we have often referenced on The

[3:24] Flophouse.

[3:25] I don't know whether any of us had seen it.

[3:28] Had you seen it?

[3:29] I had not seen it.

[3:30] Have you seen it?

[3:31] I remembered the trailers when they came out and I remember the scandal when it turned

[3:33] out the trailers were inaccurate representations of the film.

[3:35] Was there something memorable about the trailer for Kangaroo Jack?

[3:38] Well, Ana de Armas was in the trailer, but she was not in Kangaroo Jack.

[3:41] Yeah.

[3:42] It was originally called Kangaroo Ana de Armas.

[3:45] Yeah.

[3:46] Yeah.

[3:47] The trailer famously made a big deal out of a rapping kangaroo.

[3:52] Yeah.

[3:53] It was kangaroo forward.

[3:55] As we'll see when Stuart does the summary, there is one scene in which a character hallucinates

[3:59] a talking kangaroo and the trailers used almost entirely moments from that scene to make it

[4:05] appear as if the movie was about a talking kangaroo when it's really a mob buddy comedy.

[4:11] Well, and this is not the only kind of bizarre thing about the production of Kangaroo Jack.

[4:15] The other thing is, of course, the oft told tale of how it started out as an R-rated mob

[4:21] comedy.

[4:22] Yeah.

[4:23] And then...

[4:24] Which, as we have learned this year, I am a huge, huge fan of.

[4:28] The problem with it was there were not mafia mamas in it.

[4:31] What is it called?

[4:32] Kangaroo Mama.

[4:33] It was about a kangaroo took over the mafia, but it's also a mom.

[4:36] I would love it, Elliot.

[4:37] Who would be playing the kangaroo in this case?

[4:39] Oh, Toni Collette.

[4:40] Of course.

[4:41] Yeah.

[4:42] She's got the range.

[4:43] And she's Australian, isn't she?

[4:44] Yeah, I think so.

[4:46] Yeah.

[4:47] But that version of the movie...

[4:48] Guys, if I heard Toni Collette speaking in her real accent, I think my head would explode.

[4:51] I wouldn't accept it.

[4:52] No, I wouldn't accept it.

[4:53] The same way, I refuse to watch any videos of the guy who plays the gangster on Barry

[5:00] speaking with his real voice because I don't want the illusion to be broken.

[5:04] I never want to...

[5:05] Oh, yeah.

[5:06] Yeah.

[5:07] I never want to know what his real voice sounds like.

[5:08] The gangster with a memorable name.

[5:10] But as I was saying, the original R-rated cut of Kangaroo Jack did not play particularly

[5:16] well.

[5:17] I can't even imagine what was in it if there was an R-rated cut.

[5:21] I can't imagine because it's such a childish movie from start to finish.

[5:25] Well, other than some inappropriate...

[5:26] Other than the appropriate jokes.

[5:27] I feel like there's been some childish movies that are R-rated.

[5:33] So I guess this is a plea.

[5:36] I mean, we have a little bit of reach with our show, and I think it's best that we use

[5:42] it for good in this case.

[5:43] If you have access to the R-rated cut of Kangaroo Jack, you have to send it to us, please.

[5:48] If you want to send that to us.

[5:51] This is...

[5:52] Now that we know that the day the clown cried will probably be seen in some form, I'm not

[5:55] as interested in that anymore.

[5:56] So I want to see the R-rated Kangaroo Jack.

[5:59] I want to know.

[6:00] According to Wikipedia, it originally included cursing, sex and violence.

[6:03] Sex where?

[6:04] Where would it have fit into this movie?

[6:06] I mean, seeing as this version already still has a wet t-shirt scene of Estella Warren,

[6:15] at which moment in the thing, I texted a gif of Dom DeMillo from Kangaroo...

[6:20] I'm sorry, Kangaroo...

[6:21] Don DeLillo?

[6:22] Kangaroo...

[6:23] Don...

[6:24] Kangaroo Jack star Don DeLillo.

[6:26] The novels weren't working out that well.

[6:28] He needed to pay some bills.

[6:29] He took the role of the kangaroo.

[6:30] Guys, I almost said kangaroo bang bang when I meant comedy bang bang.

[6:36] It was originally called Kangaroo Bang Bang because the sex scene was with the kangaroo.

[6:39] I texted Andy Daly's character saying, something for daddy, to Stuart.

[6:45] Because it is wild to me that they made this kid's cut of the movie but kept in the Estella

[6:50] Warren in a wet undershirt scene.

[6:53] But anyway, I mean, you know, better that than violence, but still weird.

[6:58] I guess maybe that when I said the movie is childish, I guess it's not entirely childish.

[7:02] You're right.

[7:03] It's a movie that like has a big bit about farting camels and like it's that it's not

[7:08] not stuff.

[7:09] I mean, I did just rewatch an episode of Seinfeld that involved a farting horse last night.

[7:12] So I guess there are grown up things with farting animals.

[7:14] Well, that's the thing.

[7:15] I'm not sure how much of this is reshoots or not.

[7:18] I mean, like most of the research shoots, from what I understand, was to add CGI kangaroo

[7:22] action to make it into a kid's movie, but they probably did other stuff too.

[7:28] No, no.

[7:29] Don't ruin Stuart's illusion.

[7:30] Stuart, they took a kangaroo.

[7:31] They trained him to rap.

[7:32] They implanted vocal cords.

[7:34] Jackson kangaroo.

[7:35] No, no.

[7:36] You guys already said it.

[7:37] Now I don't trust movies anymore.

[7:39] Let me call Todd Vaziri.

[7:40] He'll clear it all up.

[7:42] OK, guys, let's get into this fucking movie, right?

[7:46] Let's do it.

[7:47] It's OK.

[7:48] Kangaroo Jack.

[7:49] What?

[7:50] Nine minutes long.

[7:51] Let's get through it.

[7:52] You know, this is a shockingly not that many cards for this note cards for this plot.

[7:56] So of course, this movie opens with some title sequence or, you know, production logos.

[8:02] You get some funky music.

[8:04] That's how you know you're in for a fun time.

[8:08] We the first thing, of course, because this movie is called Kangaroo Jack, we get some

[8:11] voiceover from Jerry O'Connell, who's playing the star named Charlie.

[8:16] And we have a voiceover explaining all about Kangaroo Jack.

[8:20] We have pictures of Kangaroo Jack, video footage of Kangaroo Jack, just so we I feel like it's

[8:25] like they're doing the bare minimum to make sure you understand this is actually the kangaroo

[8:29] movie you entered and not like the wrong movie.

[8:32] Just because you won't see a kangaroo for the first 20 some odd minutes of the film.

[8:36] Don't forget that this is a kangaroo movie.

[8:39] OK, so we quickly do a flashback to 20 years ago on a beach in Brooklyn.

[8:44] It reminds me, as were a couple of Brooklyn boys over here.

[8:47] Of course, I would be the Charlie Carbone and Dan would be the Lewis Booker character

[8:51] played by Anthony Anderson.

[8:53] So we flashback 20 years ago to a beach in Brooklyn.

[8:56] I did have a metal detector when I was a child.

[8:59] Whoa, that tracks.

[9:00] It was like a toy metal detector, not like a fancy one.

[9:03] But detective metal toys?

[9:05] Yes.

[9:06] No, I would use it to go around, you know, looking for treasure in the neighborhood.

[9:10] Usually it would be nails.

[9:11] And then you found the Titanic, right?

[9:13] Or other rusty pieces of metal that I could have cut myself with and died.

[9:18] But I didn't.

[9:19] You know, it was a fun way of spending time.

[9:20] You're saying it's not a great thing for a kid to be using.

[9:22] Maybe not.

[9:23] But I enjoyed it.

[9:24] I enjoyed the thrill of the hunt.

[9:28] I had a metal detector.

[9:29] It led me to the episode of The Young Ones with Motorhead in it.

[9:32] It was amazing.

[9:33] Yeah, it really changed my life.

[9:35] Yeah.

[9:36] So on this beach 20 years ago in Brooklyn, we were introduced to Charlie Carbone, played

[9:39] by Jerry O'Connell as a grown up.

[9:42] His friend Lewis, who's a bit of a nerd, who has a metal detector, as we said, we're introduced

[9:46] to a gangster named Sal, played by Christopher Walken, who is is the new boyfriend of Charlie's

[9:53] mom.

[9:55] There's an evil rival kid named Frankie.

[9:58] We'll get to him in a minute.

[10:00] throws a football and Charlie almost drowns in the ocean only to be saved by Lewis,

[10:03] which is kind of the encapsulation of their friendship.

[10:06] There is a certain amount of guilt that Charlie feels because Lewis saved his life,

[10:09] or so Lewis believes. Flash forward 20 years.

[10:14] We are in modern-day New York City. Well, 2003? When was it shot?

[10:19] It came out in 2003. It probably was shot in 2002.

[10:21] I'm guessing it was that extensive an edit that it went through.

[10:24] All the cars look like they're from 1992.

[10:27] People, I think, forget that when the year happens,

[10:32] not all the stuff that exists in the world is from that year,

[10:34] that like old stuff hangs around for a long time.

[10:38] And so it bothers me when you see a movie that's set at a certain time period

[10:41] and they're like, we got to get the cars from just this year.

[10:44] Everyone's wearing the clothes from just this year.

[10:46] It's like, well, most people are gonna be walking around wearing old clothes

[10:48] and driving old cars. History doesn't, it's not like every year everyone gets all new stuff.

[10:53] So that's just a little pet peeve for me about the way people handle the past in movies and things like that.

[10:58] And they didn't want you to take over for Andy Rooney?

[11:01] Oh, let's not even scratch that scab. It's almost healed.

[11:05] Let's not reopen those wounds. Yeah. Andy Rooney? More like Andy Looney over here, kiddo.

[11:11] I got him. I guess. I don't understand.

[11:14] Actually, I agree with Elliot. I don't know why I'm giving him more time.

[11:17] Well, but similar how when you see a movie set in the future, everything is futuristic.

[11:22] That's not how the world works. You go to an older person's house.

[11:25] It looks like an old, everything's from 1990 or 2010.

[11:30] I mean, I recently watched The Creator, which I think actually does a nice blend of like high-tech and low-tech stuff

[11:35] where it doesn't all feel super modern.

[11:39] I mean, it's a similar, in some ways, a similar aesthetic and I don't know, whatever else,

[11:44] to like a District 9 where it's like a mix of.

[11:46] Okay, so flash forward to present day. Charlie is now a hairstylist.

[11:52] He owns, well, he operates a mob front hair salon called Hair We Are.

[12:02] Louis is now some kind of like, kind of like a hustler now.

[12:05] He's like a petty hustler who has a lucky jacket and he steals a truck full of televisions

[12:13] and they get in trouble with the cops and then they in turn get in trouble with the mob.

[12:18] Well, this is an interesting choice to me.

[12:21] You're really glossing over a huge car chase that opens the movie.

[12:24] Yeah, well, this is what I was going to talk about.

[12:26] This is an interesting choice to me to introduce us to the adult versions of our heroes

[12:32] and the first thing we see is them, you know, doing a tremendous amount of reckless endangerment

[12:37] as they, you know, like try to escape the car.

[12:42] High-speed chase with the cops where they are so uncaring about the lives of any other person in the world.

[12:49] What are they, Batman in the Flash movie?

[12:51] What is this all about?

[12:54] Yeah, but like, I'm like, you're assuming that I'm going to love these two doofuses immediately

[12:58] and I think that you're making a bet that may not pay off, can't you Jack, you know?

[13:03] Yeah, there's a lot of wisecracking, a lot of over-talking, a lot of like wacky music playing.

[13:08] That's how you know it's a comedy and not some kind of a trauma.

[13:11] You thought it could have been a drama.

[13:13] It's similar to May-December where you're like, what is this?

[13:15] Yeah, when I walk into a movie called Kangaroo Jack starring Jerry O'Connell,

[13:19] what I expect is a heavy drama, yeah.

[13:22] I mean, there's certainly a lack of jokes.

[13:25] For a movie that is ostensibly a comedy, I would say until Anthony Anderson comes on screen,

[13:31] it is a joke-free desert, you know, it's a comedy desert

[13:35] and he's really the one source of comedy for much of the movie.

[13:38] I'd say it depends on what you count as jokes.

[13:40] Are jokes just verbal things that are said or like, there's a lot of shenanigans.

[13:44] I think shenanigans are a subset of jokes.

[13:48] Maybe. I think the movie expects us to think it's funny that Jerry O'Connell runs a hair salon.

[13:52] Like it feels like there are certain things that the movie thinks are going to be funny

[13:56] that you're like, that's not a joke, that's not funny.

[13:58] I don't know, and that's not even like a woke thing.

[14:00] It's like there's just nothing inherently funny about a mob-backed hair salon.

[14:04] You need to put jokes into it.

[14:07] Yeah, I do respect the movie.

[14:08] Like, not that there is no gay panic in the film,

[14:11] but the movie does not make an overt point of like it being like, I don't know.

[14:18] There's only a couple.

[14:20] There's really only the airport bathroom scene and I think a hugging scene later.

[14:24] You have to see the hugging scene, which ruins an act,

[14:26] like a moment that is actually kind of nice, but we'll get there.

[14:29] You have to assume that the R-rated cut had a ton more of that stuff,

[14:33] had a ton more gay panic jokes probably.

[14:35] Mm-hmm.

[14:36] So they managed to evade-

[14:38] I mean, we'll never know until someone sends it to us.

[14:40] Listeners, find that R-rated cut of Kangoo Jack, send it to us.

[14:43] So they managed to evade the police,

[14:44] but they end up bringing the police down on Jerry O'Connell's stepfather,

[14:49] Sal's, what, art smuggling operation?

[14:53] It's like the warehouse where he stores his stolen goods,

[14:57] and there's an expensive art there.

[14:58] I guess he's the guy who stole that Winslow Homer painting

[15:02] that disappeared and was never found again.

[15:04] Oh, okay. Okay, that guy.

[15:07] So he-

[15:10] So, of course, this gets them in trouble with the mob,

[15:12] and this is where we see Christopher Walken in his mansion in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn,

[15:19] which doesn't really look like Bensonhurst, but that's fine.

[15:23] And he explains, you know, you cost me money,

[15:25] but because you're family, I can't kill you.

[15:27] Your mother would be so sad.

[15:30] He does a few little bits and jokes.

[15:32] I think there was a moment where he mispronounces something,

[15:35] and I'm like, was that intentional? Was that in the script?

[15:37] Or did he, like, flub it and just play it well?

[15:39] I was so excited when Christopher Walken showed up in this movie

[15:42] because I didn't know he was going to be here.

[15:45] And like, you know, he's not giving it that old country bears energy, but-

[15:50] Yeah, but you do that thing when during the opening credits you close your eyes

[15:53] and you say, no spoilers, no spoilers, until you see him on screen.

[15:57] I don't know. I mean, maybe I saw the name.

[15:58] I'm just saying that I didn't know before, like, you know, hitting play

[16:02] that Christopher Walken was going to be in there.

[16:05] I knew he was in there, but it is always nice to see him.

[16:08] It's true he's not giving his all like he does in Country Bears,

[16:10] but he's not walking. He's not sleepwalking through it.

[16:12] I have to correct myself. It was not a Winslow Homer painting.

[16:16] That was never returned. It was a Rembrandt painting,

[16:18] but it was of a ship at sea, which was live in Winslow Homer.

[16:22] Partial credit. Yeah, that makes sense.

[16:23] That's the storm on the Sea of Galilee.

[16:25] That's the one that was stolen and never returned. Yeah.

[16:27] But also you mentioned baby Michael Shannon.

[16:30] That's the thing. That's the real surprise.

[16:32] Yeah, the rival Frankie shows up.

[16:36] Now an adult played my Michael Shannon,

[16:39] Brooklyn, Kensington, Brooklyn native right now.

[16:43] Can you say native if he just lives here now?

[16:45] I don't know. I did. I tell you that Audrey also finally saw him around the neighborhood.

[16:49] That's great. Now you have something to talk to him about. Can you reject?

[16:51] Yeah, he is. I find him genuinely funny in this movie.

[16:56] Not in that the very beginning, but later on.

[16:58] I think his performance is very funny.

[17:01] Well partly a big part of it is that he fully commits to being a mobster in a movie with

[17:06] and not like a joke.

[17:08] Yes, whereas everyone else is kind of barely doing anything.

[17:11] Yeah, so he so Charlie and Lewis are given a mission.

[17:16] This is the way they can make amends.

[17:18] They have to take a mystery envelope that they are not allowed to look inside all the way

[17:23] to Coober Cooper PD a in the Outback in Australia.

[17:29] You got to learn how to pronounce these things Stewart for your trip down under.

[17:33] Now we had a couple different movie options to work down under.

[17:36] Yeah, a couple different movie options and one of them was Jack

[17:39] and as I've mentioned on the show a little bit your boy Stewart is going to Australia here

[17:44] in about a month and I'm really looking forward to it.

[17:46] I've always wanted to go and but you know, it's the other side of the world.

[17:51] So I need to learn about it.

[17:52] So I'm doing all the research.

[17:53] I can watching Kangaroo Jack all the Australian classic Kangaroo Jack.

[17:59] I'm watching watching that show instant hotel.

[18:03] You remember that one?

[18:04] Sure all kinds of crap you the our audience.

[18:08] I'm sure knows this already,

[18:09] but you should know that Cooper PD is of course referred to as the opal capital of the world.

[18:13] It's not for it's not opal mining.

[18:14] So that's something you'll need to know when you get to Australia

[18:17] because they'll ask you before they let you in Opals come from.

[18:19] Uh-huh. Well, that's good.

[18:20] I guess should I I guess you're spoiling your your gifts

[18:24] that I'm going to bring back a bunch of opals bags sacks of opals sacks of opals.

[18:31] So, of course, they're given this mystery envelope told not to look into it.

[18:34] Of course, they immediately look into it while they're on the plane.

[18:37] Turns out that's full of $50,000 which now I don't want to sound kind of weird,

[18:44] but that doesn't seem like that much money.

[18:46] This was 2000. This was 2003 just for inflation.

[18:50] And we'll later find out why that why it's that money

[18:53] but does seem like it's both a lot of money

[18:55] and not a lot of money for them to have to courier.

[18:58] Yeah for a movie exactly. Yeah.

[19:00] It's also the way they handle this envelope even before they know that money is in it is ridiculously Slipshod.

[19:06] Like it's literally like what tucked into the back of the seat pocket of the seat in front of them on the plane.

[19:11] It's like put that in your suitcase, dude.

[19:13] What are you doing? Like come on? What are you doing?

[19:16] And then of course, keep it in your pocket.

[19:18] Yeah, we get some comedy bit this bathroom conversation leads to the longest

[19:22] and most improbable misunderstanding.

[19:27] Not since Wild Wild West have two men behind a closed door talking about something

[19:32] where they have to work really hard to make the phrasing sounds like they are having sex with each other.

[19:36] Yeah, well overheard by somebody else not in this case.

[19:39] It's it's it's a phrase.

[19:41] So it sounds like they're both very excited about Jerry O'Connell's poop

[19:46] and want to pick up the poop and put it in an envelope and whatnot

[19:50] and see I couldn't tell if they were talking about poop or his penis.

[19:54] That's the thing. I guess I think they do like talk about putting it in the envelope,

[19:58] which I think means that it's.

[20:00] just discrete unit, not that they can, you know, they're just going to put it like a

[20:03] sleeve over his penis and then tuck it back in the pan.

[20:07] Oh, and they talk about how green it is, which I guess could be about some sort of disease.

[20:13] But to me, read more like they were marveling at his bowel movement.

[20:17] I don't know.

[20:18] It's such a weird thing to exist, yeah.

[20:20] Like a Dan doing a Statler and Waldorf, you guys in the back row doing a Statler and Waldorf

[20:25] bit trying to analyze what they're talking about.

[20:27] This is both what I think the other writers hated me for The Daily Show.

[20:31] And I think a genuine useful quality is like, I want to hash out the logic of this.

[20:37] Well, I remember our our long arguments about the name Jabba the Hut and how you could wrap

[20:42] your minds around your mouth, couldn't wrap your mind around.

[20:46] I just think that I think it's weird that like it's introduced as if it's a title.

[20:51] And then like it's anyway, it is.

[20:53] It's like Nikki the Greek.

[20:54] It's an ethnic title.

[20:55] And everyone's anyway, not monsters, not monsters are called Hutts is the only Hutt in the whole

[21:02] scene.

[21:03] No extended.

[21:04] Anyway.

[21:05] But the other are also.

[21:06] I don't care about that.

[21:07] My point is that like there are places where you can fudge logic doesn't it doesn't matter.

[21:17] But I think if you're going to do like particularly a joke this dumb, the logic has to be airtight,

[21:22] I think.

[21:23] Yes, it's got.

[21:24] I agree with you on that.

[21:25] And I think it's you need the audience to be like, I don't like it, but I respect it.

[21:29] The phrase they pulled it off.

[21:31] It's so forced.

[21:32] It's so incredibly forced.

[21:34] And it's so it doesn't make any sense.

[21:36] And yet to pull off something this you're saying to pull off a premise, this stupid

[21:41] that the two of them are being overheard and being mistaken as thinking that I guess they're

[21:45] talking about, yes, poop then and want to want to put it in their mouth and stuff like

[21:49] that.

[21:50] Put it on below.

[21:51] Yeah.

[21:52] They want to pick it up and smell it.

[21:54] Yeah.

[21:55] That's what it is.

[21:56] Because smell it like the it just feels like it is.

[21:58] They really have to have to square that circle a little better than you do here.

[22:02] You know.

[22:03] Yeah.

[22:04] So that's not the only comedy bit we get.

[22:06] We get some jokes about how Anthony Anderson Lewis Lewis's pockets of his lucky jacket

[22:12] are filled with like odd candy bits like mostly unwrapped.

[22:17] Yeah.

[22:18] We also get a bit where Jerry O'Connell gets strip searched at the airport.

[22:24] It's good stuff.

[22:25] The candy stuff, honestly, is more of like where I want the tone of this movie to be

[22:28] at because it's so goofy and like, you know, like Three Stooges or silly like childlike

[22:35] to have like.

[22:36] Yeah.

[22:37] He's just got like an assortment of unwrapped candies that he has no problem like popping

[22:40] in his mouth and then popping back in his pocket like a single Twizzler in there just

[22:44] unwrapped in the pocket of his sweatshirt.

[22:47] That has a big kid quality that I kind of enjoy.

[22:49] Yeah.

[22:50] I think if I would buy so much more of this movie, if these characters were like you're

[22:54] saying, Dan, like Three Stooges type grown up children, if this was if this was the stars

[22:59] of Detroiters in the same plot, so much of this would make so much more sense to me because

[23:04] they're essentially child men.

[23:05] You know, or if it was.

[23:06] Yeah.

[23:07] If it was.

[23:08] Oh, man.

[23:09] Now.

[23:10] Now I see Kangaroo Jack.

[23:11] That would be so much better.

[23:12] Or if this was I wouldn't enjoy this as much, but if it was like dumb and dumber to Kangaroo

[23:15] Jack, I'd be like, OK, yeah, I get it.

[23:17] These guys are cartoonish morons, but these characters are both we're supposed to take

[23:21] seriously their bond as friends and also, you know, and also laugh at these dumb things

[23:26] they're doing.

[23:27] And I just I can't buy it.

[23:28] Can't buy it.

[23:29] So Kangaroo Jack, I can't buy it.

[23:32] So I'm not going to buy it, Kangaroo Jack.

[23:34] I'm just going to I know you put it in my you took it off the shelf and put it in my

[23:37] hands so that it would be harder for me to not buy it, but I'm going to put it back on

[23:40] the shelf.

[23:41] Yeah.

[23:42] So guys, I'm not going to invest in Kangaroo Jack.

[23:45] All right.

[23:46] Sorry, you lost your chance back in what, 2004 or when's this from?

[23:51] 2003.

[23:52] OK.

[23:53] So.

[23:54] So I was Charlie.

[23:55] I was I had just come out of college and somebody said, hey, you want a career investing in

[23:59] Kangaroo Jack?

[24:00] Summer of Kangaroo Jack.

[24:01] When I was young and life was so wonderful, I'll remember it like it was yesterday when

[24:08] I was 17.

[24:10] There was a Kangaroo Jack.

[24:12] Until the Kangaroo Jack of summer has come.

[24:17] I don't remember how that song goes.

[24:19] Yeah.

[24:20] Good enough.

[24:21] Yeah.

[24:22] For this show.

[24:23] Anyway, Stuart.

[24:24] So back to the adventure.

[24:26] Do you remember Kangaroo Jack didn't come out in September?

[24:31] It came out in actually in January.

[24:34] So it was not the summer, but the winter of Kangaroo Jack.

[24:42] So back to the adventure.

[24:44] Charlie gets out of the adventure of these two guys going to Australia.

[24:49] I like that Stuart doesn't get annoyed anymore.

[24:51] He's just like, OK, this is a chance to answer that text that came in earlier that I couldn't

[24:56] do.

[24:57] OK.

[24:58] It was quite a cinematic scenario when Kangaroo Jack came out that day, doo, doo, doo, doo,

[25:06] doo.

[25:07] Oh, you thought it was a rapping kangaroo that was in the movie, but I will check the

[25:14] promotions in the movie.

[25:16] Yeah.

[25:17] Anyway.

[25:18] OK.

[25:19] No, no.

[25:20] For real.

[25:21] Oh, OK.

[25:22] For real.

[25:23] I'll wait till I start talking about it.

[25:24] Sure.

[25:25] OK.

[25:26] Football will never be pulled away.

[25:27] I did a lot of being stripped search to find that Lewis has already rented a Jeep and pulled

[25:32] it up, which is kind of wild.

[25:34] Like if you ever run in a car from the airport, it's nuts.

[25:36] Yeah.

[25:37] Yeah.

[25:38] So they that's the main inconsistency and hard to believe thing about the film.

[25:43] Found a whoopsie.

[25:44] Add it to the list on the goofs section.

[25:46] So they're driving through the outback.

[25:49] They are doing a little rap together.

[25:50] They're rapping together, which you're like, oh, no, this is grim foreshadowing of what

[25:54] I'm going to see later.

[25:55] And they get distracted while rapping and run over a kangaroo.

[25:59] That's hilarious.

[26:00] Yep.

[26:01] It's hilarious.

[26:02] They pose for pictures with the posing our heroes.

[26:06] Yeah.

[26:07] Our heroes pose with the corpse of a kangaroo for a while.

[26:10] These were idiot characters who were not supposed to be necessarily sympathetic, but were just

[26:14] crazy ones.

[26:15] I'd be like, OK, I kind of like the idea that you're going to that they go, hey, that kangaroo

[26:19] looks like a guy we know back in New York.

[26:22] That's impossible.

[26:23] There's no way.

[26:24] They're like, hey, let's pose with him.

[26:26] Put the sunglasses on him and let me take off my lucky jacket full of my unwrapped candy

[26:31] that I talk about all the time.

[26:32] Let me put it on a dead kangaroo's body.

[26:34] Yeah.

[26:35] Just the idea.

[26:36] You have to imagine as they started to thread a dead animal's limbs through the sleeve of

[26:39] the jacket that they would say, what are we doing?

[26:42] Why are we doing this?

[26:43] Who is this?

[26:44] Who we are as people.

[26:45] If if if not just because, like, I feel like a monster, then also because I don't want

[26:50] to put this jacket back on afterwards, maybe like, you know, like the selfish reason.

[26:54] You know, just imagine how much people hate it when someone poses with an animal they've

[26:59] killed and puts the picture online already that's already that's a kind of disagreeable

[27:04] thing to do.

[27:05] It's it's a kind of disgusting to do.

[27:06] You know, imagine that you then more than yeah, but I want to set it up because then

[27:10] imagine you took that corpse, the animal you killed, put your jacket on it, put sunglasses

[27:14] on it and then took a picture of you kind of like sister, sister, back to back, you

[27:18] know, like, hey, check this person out like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[27:23] Middle student by night.

[27:24] Call girl.

[27:25] So we're coming out hard against the protagonists of Kangaroo Jack.

[27:29] We stand against Kager posing with a dead body, as we said.

[27:34] And you know what?

[27:35] You don't have to like the main characters of the movie you're watching for to enjoy

[27:37] the movie.

[27:38] I'm not saying that.

[27:39] But in this kind of it's not uncut gems where I love him.

[27:46] So they're posing with his dead body.

[27:49] Lewis puts his lucky jacket on the dead body.

[27:52] Of course, turns out this kangaroo is not dead.

[27:54] It wakes up.

[27:55] It runs off.

[27:56] Just like every animal hit by a car in every comedy ever.

[27:59] The animal is just like in Tommy Boy, just like in any other things you think of.

[28:03] The animal is not dead, but wakes up, runs off.

[28:05] Yeah, guys, that jacket's pockets.

[28:07] They're not just full of candy, right?

[28:09] They're full of real candy.

[28:11] They're full of money.

[28:12] Yeah, exactly.

[28:13] That's why they call it money.

[28:16] They runs off with the fifty thousand dollars.

[28:19] They need to catch that roo.

[28:21] So they chase the kangaroo.

[28:23] Of course, they crash their their Jeep and they have to walk across the outback.

[28:27] And again, I don't want to be the guy who's like, why didn't they just do this thing?

[28:30] That's a plot hole that in this tense situation, they didn't think of the thing to do.

[28:33] You already hit this kangaroo once with your car.

[28:35] Why are you not driving fast enough to just hit it again with the car?

[28:39] You're talking about breaking the money.

[28:40] Come on.

[28:41] I think I think they're they're worried that it's they've already proven that it's immune

[28:45] to it's got resistance to crashes.

[28:48] I just want to point out.

[28:49] It only takes half damage.

[28:50] Yeah.

[28:52] It doesn't change the weapon type.

[28:53] At this point, we have fulfilled the legendary tagline for Kangaroo Jack.

[28:56] Of course, he stole the money and he's not getting it back.

[29:00] It's true.

[29:02] That is the tagline.

[29:03] In a way, we're not out yet.

[29:05] That's kind of like a rap in itself right now.

[29:09] That implies that he knows he has money and he is deliberately refusing to return it.

[29:14] That this is a kind of steaming kangaroo when it is an animal.

[29:18] They're just reaping what they sowed.

[29:20] Yes.

[29:21] Posing with this kangaroo.

[29:23] OK, so they they crashed their Jeep.

[29:28] They have to walk across the outback.

[29:29] They find like a saloon, like a roadhouse in a small town.

[29:35] While they're there, they have some drinks.

[29:37] They meet Jesse, an American woman who is working at the Wildlife Foundation.

[29:42] I apologize.

[29:43] I so wish this didn't turn into Wake and Fright at this moment that they went into this route

[29:46] out roadhouse and they just find themselves.

[29:48] I mean, in both Wake and Fright in this, they are hunting kangaroos.

[29:52] That it just become them on an ever increasingly lurid descent into it to discuss this part.

[30:00] This part does one part

[30:02] feels like it could be a deliberate reference just because like there's this like the old the old guy who like they're just like

[30:09] pouring booze down his gullet and

[30:11] So much like that scene in way in front that this is that this is that's clearly a setup for the punchline of this

[30:18] Is the guy who's gonna fly them around? I don't know that they were like for kangaroo jack

[30:21] I look at all the greats of

[30:24] Aussie cinema

[30:30] There's that so there's a couple of Australian actors in here and that's one of them

[30:33] That's Bill Hunter who's been in lots of who's it who's lots and lots of things, you know

[30:37] He's Muriel and Muriel's wedding. He was Priscilla

[30:40] Queen of the desert. I mean was exactly I mean he's in those movies, but he's not those characters. He played lipally

[30:50] Material with him is some of the stuff that I found most legitimately funny and like we spoiled it already

[30:56] But like I'm sure Sue's about to get to it, you know

[30:59] Estelle Warren's like oh here use this

[31:02] Trank gun and the best way to hunt a kangaroo is from above you got to get like a bush pilot

[31:06] and so they

[31:08] this guy passes out and then they call the bush pilot and hear his phone ringing in his pocket and

[31:14] You know discover, of course, it's like in that bit. I actually enjoy it's a good bit. Yeah

[31:20] yeah, so they meet they meet a

[31:23] Bush pilot named blue I think

[31:25] Who

[31:27] Song that he could sing about his name or is just making it clear what his name is and who he is

[31:33] It's my own fault for saying that damn word around you

[31:37] You know, I just I I wish this was actually I went in trip just for a tale of real life. This is yesterday

[31:43] When my kids in the back of my car started singing that song out of nowhere and my wife turned to me and she was

[31:49] Like you made this happen like this

[31:51] And I was like and I'm loving it

[31:54] Spontaneously both saying I'm blue Davo D

[31:57] Davo

[31:57] But they weren't aware of the spoken word intro to the song which I had to relay to them where it's like this is a story

[32:03] About a blue guy and he lives in a blue world and everything is blue

[32:07] I love it that they're like this song is a little complicated. We better explain the premise ahead of time

[32:13] Yeah, here's an opening crawl for you

[32:16] I'm blue episode 1 the blue menace. So everything's blue, right? This guy is blue and everything's blue. Yep

[32:24] It is a blue time for the galaxy. Yeah, so yeah, we meet blues played by Bill Hunter

[32:30] You said yeah, and we also meet Jesse who's a young American woman who is working for the Wildlife

[32:37] Foundation Federation something like that. Yeah, and she suggests that

[32:42] That Lewis get a tranquilizer gun and a plane to hunt down this kangaroo

[32:47] We find out

[32:48] Of course, they hire the they hire the bush pilot. They get a tranq gun. I don't know. This seems like a small town

[32:55] So it's weird that he's just like he went to the fucking general store and was like, yeah

[32:59] I'll take a tranquilizer gun with one. So I gave him that

[33:04] Also, yeah, I think I think there's like a peddler somewhere who's like, oh

[33:09] Look at my wares traveler. Mm-hmm. Okay. I may mayhaps I possess what you seek. No, there's no way you like tranq gun

[33:17] the strong potion

[33:19] Yeah, or this?

[33:22] I want this strong potion. That will be 20 gold pieces

[33:26] We're gonna give you like a credit card or or owe me a favor. I don't know the economy here

[33:32] Three opals. Oh, wow

[33:35] You have to pay me in toes

[33:38] My owner someone else's maybe not picky dealers choice. If you if you pre-order it you get a DLC bonus of 24 toes

[33:47] Yeah, you get the steel book. Yes

[33:54] It's Australia Dan, it's a it's a it's a nation started by by criminals. It's gonna be the toes are our currency over there

[34:00] Yeah, so they've you know, they've lost the money and they're stressing out but they're not the only people who are stressed out

[34:05] That's right. Multiple groups of gangsters are mad at them the person they're supposed to meet. Mr

[34:10] Smith played by Martin Sokka's you might know him as Kelliborne from the Lord of the Rings series

[34:17] Okay, husband took a lad real. Come on, Dan, you know, Kelliborne

[34:23] You probably don't better as Trevor Goodchild in the a on flux film

[34:27] Watch that movie, but I don't or perhaps or perhaps as Jack Bart's in Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter a movie we have flopped

[34:35] It was also character per se. He's also I think the villain was he the villain in the first triple X movie?

[34:42] Yes, I think believe so. Yeah, he's your yeah in triple. Yeah, you're you know, you're

[34:47] Around he's a bad guy pretty big career from a guy. I don't recognize at all

[34:51] Perhaps did you see him and when he played when he played George in a revival of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf at the Bellevue?

[34:56] Theatre in Sydney, Australia

[34:59] Not fly out for that one. Okay. Oh, man Elliot saw that one though. Okay, so

[35:05] He plays a character named. Mr. Smith, and he's he's mad at that one to watch you turn to track him down

[35:10] and also

[35:13] Sal is mad that they have lost the money

[35:16] So he sends Frankie of course played by Michael Shannon to Australia as well. So we got two groups of guys

[35:22] They're looking for a house. He was in two different flop movies. Oh, no

[35:27] Yeah, this is this is this is three for three for him. Okay

[35:31] So, of course on the board

[35:35] On your wall, you know dream house was worth it for getting those two crazy kids together, you know what I mean?

[35:40] Mm-hmm. That's how I feel about the third season of Fargo. Yeah

[35:44] the second season of Fargo

[35:46] Geely

[35:47] Really that broke them up. I think they got back together eventually. So it brought them back together in the long run

[35:53] Yeah, yeah the thing. Yeah, they were they were shooting a season of Fargo and

[36:00] That would be great. I would love to see Ben Affleck try and play a guy with a Fargo

[36:07] He could do it I think you do it

[36:10] But he would have to wear a Red Sox hat the whole time. Yeah, so

[36:14] Okay, so of course

[36:15] Charlie and Lewis are up in a bush plane hunting down kangaroo Jack. I'm just gonna call him Jack from now on

[36:21] Okay, sure. Everyone's gonna keep track of that. Yeah, I'm a kangaroo is what you'll call him

[36:25] They they have a they okay they have a whoopsie and they accidentally shoot the pilot in the back of the head with the

[36:33] Tranquilizer dart so they crash it's very classic thing people do in movies

[36:37] Which is they have someone in their sights and instead of shooting at that moment

[36:40] They then talk as they go now, I got you

[36:44] No getting away from me now gonna pull the trigger right now in three two

[36:50] We don't watch out for it. Well, oh he got away

[36:53] Uh, so they crashed but they all survived thank God, right, thank God

[36:58] So they thank God at that moment. I said it said on an I bless it

[37:02] Are your many your many blessings on this earth? Thank you for creating the fruit of the vine

[37:05] Thank you for creating the bread of the earth and the trees of the fields the animals of the earth

[37:10] Creating this beautiful universe for us to inhabit in and to take care of thank you

[37:14] Creator of life for saving these three men in their plane crash in kangaroo Jack. Yeah, so

[37:20] After Elliot's done with that the they end up having to hike across the desert because they are going to try and track down that

[37:26] Young woman to see if she can help them find that

[37:30] kangaroo

[37:31] While they are lost in the desert they encounter a series of supposed mirages

[37:36] The first is a Jeep left unattended that is full of all of Jerry O'Connell's characters favorite things

[37:42] But we we realize this is a mirage. So there's gonna set up the next joke, which is

[37:47] Funny moment, it's kind of a funny moment that first mirage. Okay, he gets to do some physical comedy. The next thing is

[37:54] Riding up on a camel is Jesse this young woman that they had met earlier or Lewis had met earlier and Jerry O'Connell

[38:02] Charlie still believes that she is a mirage. So he does what?

[38:06] Anyone here would do is he immediately grabs her breasts?

[38:13] No

[38:16] Hear it out

[38:20] If you saw a mirage woman, would you not immediately grab her breasts in which case my answer would be yes, but so Dan

[38:25] What's your question?

[38:27] You believe her to be sort of a spectral imagined to figure her. Yeah

[38:32] Yeah, she's a beautiful woman riding a camel

[38:34] You don't expect to see this in the desert your friend, of course could yell at any moment

[38:38] Oh, I know her refuses to wants to see how the situation plays action

[38:42] for this ghost ghostly lady

[38:45] You would you grab at her would I assault? Yeah, would that be the would you pull an Al Franken on her?

[38:51] No, I don't think I would

[38:57] It's it's such a again if these were moron character, here's the thing

[39:00] Here's the thing if this was dumb and dumber you would have those characters grab her boobs not for a sexual reason

[39:05] But because that's the part of her body that they would assume they would to see if she's real or not

[39:09] They would have me would talk it out ahead of time or something like that and they'd be like we have we'll have to we

[39:13] Have to the only way to see if she's real is to touch her in some way

[39:16] Well, what part of her body is closest to us those ones?

[39:19] Okay, like I could almost if it was a non-sexual thing

[39:22] I could almost buy this as a joke the fucking gymnastics Elliot has to do to explain this shit

[39:27] I know just just see and it's one of those things

[39:29] What's like if you asked me do I think Jerry O'Connell would do that? I don't know

[39:32] He seems like kind of a skeevy guy. Yeah, maybe he would I don't know

[39:36] I actually think he seems in real life kind of nice but has like kind of like a skeevy like

[39:42] Demeanor about him. I mean, I don't unlike his co-star in this movie. I don't think there are outstanding allegations against him. No, that's true

[39:49] I think I I get the impression that he's actually nice, but he has this like

[39:55] Smug unlike ability on on camera that he's become a better actor as

[40:00] he's leaned into.

[40:01] Yes.

[40:02] Yeah.

[40:03] Yeah.

[40:04] I think you're right.

[40:05] Oh, let me play my Piranha 3D style characters or whatever.

[40:07] But yeah.

[40:08] And that's maybe that's maybe that's maybe mixing up the character and stuff, because

[40:10] as you're saying, unlike Anthony Anderson, there are no there are no there are no ongoing

[40:14] things.

[40:15] But so he is a weird thing.

[40:17] It's such a weird thing for a character to do.

[40:19] It doesn't make any sense.

[40:20] Very bizarre.

[40:21] And it's the sort of thing that, again, if they were idiots and there is no you are at

[40:25] no point supposed to be really sympathetic toward him.

[40:29] It might it might work.

[40:31] But in this case, it doesn't work.

[40:33] Well, it kind of does.

[40:34] She punches him in the face and it knocks him out.

[40:37] So we are we get that we are treated to the best thing.

[40:40] We are treated to what we plunked our hard earned money down for, which is to see.

[40:44] We have a dream sequence in the face.

[40:46] Yeah.

[40:47] We get a dream sequence where Kangaroo Jack.

[40:51] Does this is what we plunked our money down for?

[40:54] Sings along to Rapper's Delight while we bounce in our seat dancing along.

[40:59] We get some more dream stuff as well and eventually imagines that the other characters are also

[41:04] kangaroos talking to him, that there's a Christopher Walken kangaroo and Anthony Anderson kangaroo.

[41:09] But the I was amazed, again, having not seen this movie, having only seen the trailer,

[41:14] but knowing that there wasn't that much talking kangaroo stuff in the movie, I was amazed

[41:18] even with that at how little the kangaroo Jack kangaroo talks and how little he raps,

[41:23] how completely out of nowhere the rapping is.

[41:26] This is where kangaroo rapping says, well, if you're going to do it, do it like if you're

[41:30] going to do it, make something instead of him going, I can't just talk.

[41:33] I can sing a hit, a hop.

[41:35] And I know they picked that one because, again, it's a go to rapping and the hopping and he's

[41:39] a kangaroo jumps, but they do they don't do anything with it.

[41:42] It's just it's it's very lazy.

[41:43] I guess I'm saying this this rapping kangaroo scene is very lazy.

[41:47] It would make it would make more sense if they were listening to this song on the radio

[41:52] when they hit him with their car.

[41:54] Yes.

[41:55] Because that would at least explain some of it.

[41:57] I love this.

[41:58] Let's have to script to the whole thing.

[42:00] I can't believe I can't believe we're trying to Monday morning quarterback this now.

[42:05] And so the whole thing is they didn't survive that plane crash.

[42:08] Everything that's happening from that moment on is a hallucination in the last moments

[42:11] of his life.

[42:12] I can't explain.

[42:13] Yeah.

[42:14] And now I also believe this was the last minute ad to the movie.

[42:19] They probably didn't have a lot of money to put into it.

[42:21] So I imagine that's why it's not much longer.

[42:23] But it is.

[42:25] It feels like why bother at this point.

[42:27] Yeah.

[42:28] Why bother.

[42:29] So they are they team up with Jesse to trek across the desert to go to a watering hole

[42:34] that they believe the kangaroo may be at over the course of this point.

[42:38] We have seen multiple shots of kangaroo Jack kind of doing kangaroo stuff but also fishing

[42:45] candy out of the pockets of this lucky jacket and reacting to them and we get some bits

[42:50] and he makes a little sound.

[42:51] Yeah.

[42:52] He likes Twizzlers.

[42:53] He doesn't like later on.

[42:54] Of course the hot fire spicy candy.

[42:57] Yeah.

[42:58] And every time you see can reject the same music plays and I came to hate this music

[43:01] so much.

[43:02] That's like.

[43:03] Yeah.

[43:04] It's like a it's like a Dr. Dre sample or something.

[43:08] Right.

[43:09] Yeah.

[43:10] It's it.

[43:11] I mean I don't know if it specifically is but it sounds like yes the sound of a background

[43:14] sample.

[43:15] Yes.

[43:16] Something of that era.

[43:18] And they're they're trying so hard with it to make kangaroo Jack seem like kind of a kind

[43:21] of a cool bad boy.

[43:22] I guess.

[43:23] They're like a funny prankster.

[43:24] He's got a Brooklyn jacket on now Elliot.

[43:27] He's got attitude.

[43:28] Yeah.

[43:29] They're they're trying so hard to make him a Bugs Bunny and you know what to be a Looney

[43:32] Tunes character so badly but all he does is is nothing although and that but you do get

[43:36] the great animal vocal effects of Frank Welker every and he said what's funny is it sounds

[43:41] like Frank Welker doing animal effects like I recognize that animal sound from other animal

[43:45] sounds he's done in the past.

[43:46] Was that Frank Welker doing the rap.

[43:48] No.

[43:49] I don't believe so.

[43:50] I believe the voice was uncredited.

[43:52] That's in his contract.

[43:53] No rap.

[43:54] According to Wikipedia the uncredited voice of Jackie Legg's kangaroo I believe it's Adam

[43:59] Garcia it says here who is a who is a you know what does a lot of musicals mostly a

[44:04] stage actor.

[44:05] Sounds like.

[44:06] Yeah.

[44:07] I mean it's all on screen.

[44:08] We clearly have stage training.

[44:09] OK.

[44:10] So they team up with Jesse to go across the desert.

[44:13] They this is a scene where we see the three of our heroes riding around on camels that

[44:18] will not stop farting hilarious.

[44:21] Everybody's cracking up.

[44:22] This farting goes on so a lot of farting like I could forgive like a couple of camel fart

[44:28] jokes honestly but the longer it goes on the funnier funnier it does not get.

[44:33] They really think it's hilarious that it's not.

[44:38] They need to set up.

[44:39] So this is an important scene plot wise because it reveals what's going to happen at the very

[44:43] end of the movie.

[44:44] Yes.

[44:45] So they discover this is the kind of tight Cracker Jack Chekhov plotting that you were

[44:49] looking for with the radio playing the song that that Jack sings.

[44:52] Yeah.

[44:53] They discover some kind of berries in the outback that smell really good and they want

[44:57] to use it in shampoo.

[44:59] But in order to make this scene a little more fun for the audience they had a ton of farting

[45:03] effects.

[45:04] So they go to this oasis.

[45:06] They set up an ambush to try and ambush Jack.

[45:09] They learn how to make bolo's and throw bolo's but of course Louis messes it all up.

[45:15] Jack gets away.

[45:16] They're all mad and disappointed.

[45:18] So they do the only thing that makes sense.

[45:21] They go into the local swimming hole together and Dan gets his wet t-shirt scene that he's

[45:26] been begging for.

[45:27] Yeah.

[45:28] He's been drooling over the whole time.

[45:30] I just think it's wild that like they turned it they're like we got to make this into a

[45:35] family comedy.

[45:36] Dan's like show the bottoms too.

[45:38] We got to lose the Estella Warren wet t-shirt scene.

[45:42] No no no we're not cutting that out.

[45:44] No no no.

[45:45] God no.

[45:46] Like it's just I mean it clearly does feel edited.

[45:48] It does feel like they like cut it out.

[45:50] Do you think this was a nudity scene or a sex scene in the original cut?

[45:54] Is that your opinion?

[45:55] No.

[45:56] I don't think it was that.

[45:57] I just think that they probably had more of it because like they have a little of it but

[46:00] I bet it was more like drooling in the R-rated version.

[46:06] Yeah yeah.

[46:07] And Jerry O'Connell's got a pretty hard body there.

[46:09] I'm like oh what's he been doing with a lot of free weights.

[46:13] Yeah a lot of free weights.

[46:14] What kind of free weights?

[46:16] Low-fat proteins.

[46:17] So they after this swimming scene it immediately cuts.

[46:21] In the swimming scene Estella Warren flirts with Jerry O'Connell the man who assaulted

[46:24] her the first time.

[46:25] Yeah this is a wild progression like we've seen nothing that indicates that she would

[46:33] be falling for him but apparently at this point in the film they have a passion for

[46:38] each other.

[46:39] There's something about him making moves on her when she's already like don't get in the

[46:46] water and he's like I'm gonna get in the water and then he's like approaching her and the

[46:51] whole time I'm thinking she is a woman on her own in the wilderness.

[46:55] She's already been assaulted by this guy.

[46:58] Like she should have murdered him like would have happened in many other Australian films.

[47:02] Yeah.

[47:04] This is an Australian movie.

[47:05] This is not it's not I don't believe this is an Australian production.

[47:07] Yeah I'm pretty sure Peter Weir made this.

[47:10] Yeah it was a Peter Weir film.

[47:14] Hugo Weaving's in this right?

[47:16] That's how you know it's Australian.

[47:18] It's a different Hugo but he is weaving.

[47:20] Oh nice.

[47:21] It's a little kid from Hugo and he's weaving.

[47:23] Yeah and he's weaving like a rug yeah.

[47:26] And of course their possible rendezvous is interrupted by Lewis cannonballing into the

[47:32] water and he doesn't know how deep that water is.

[47:34] He may have just killed himself.

[47:35] He may break his neck on that.

[47:36] Well later fucking spoiler alert I'm sorry I got to bring it up now it's so wild he cannonballs

[47:41] into a hot tub on a yacht and I'm like your legs are broken sir.

[47:50] That was a there was more cartoon physics in that moment than there was in every time

[47:54] we saw the animated kangaroo.

[47:56] Yeah.

[47:57] Yeah.

[47:58] Okay.

[47:59] That's also Dan MD I love that that's your bedside manners.

[48:04] Your legs are broken sir.

[48:05] Like it's real Karen energy with the way you talk to your patients.

[48:09] Hey man in the other ward there's someone out someone in there who did nothing to deserve

[48:15] what they're going through.

[48:16] And I'm in here fixing your broken legs because you thought it was funny to cannonball into

[48:20] a hot tub.

[48:21] What were you thinking?

[48:22] You are wasting my time and you're putting my other patients lives in jeopardy.

[48:27] Yeah.

[48:28] Yeah.

[48:29] Yeah.

[48:30] Yeah.

[48:31] Yeah.

[48:32] Horseplay your manager patient.

[48:33] I need to talk to a manager about this.

[48:34] So we go straight from the swimming hole.

[48:35] So actually house MD house McCoy common Dan it makes sense.

[48:37] Yeah.

[48:38] It's the same guy.

[48:39] So they're woken up by gave me all the clues Mr. Policeman.

[48:43] Yeah.

[48:44] Yeah.

[48:45] Yeah.

[48:46] You have a chance to drink some of his broth I'm assuming.

[48:49] Yeah.

[48:50] My my my thermos of bone broth.

[48:51] Yeah.

[48:52] Eli broth.

[48:53] Mm hmm.

[48:54] I mean, that's a joke.

[48:55] I didn't really put a lot of energy into it.

[49:00] OK.

[49:01] So they're like, look it up from.

[49:04] They're probably all tuckered out from swimming together.

[49:06] So they go to sleep.

[49:07] They're woken up the next morning.

[49:08] So how much time has passed?

[49:09] Are they eating food?

[49:10] I don't think so.

[49:11] I think they have a few.

[49:12] They had a handful of berries at one point.

[49:14] That's enough.

[49:15] Yeah.

[49:16] They don't have any.

[49:17] They went to Australia with like no luggage or did it all explode?

[49:20] I mean, I mean, it was in the side track.

[49:23] Why they leave all their.

[49:25] What?

[49:26] Yeah.

[49:27] OK.

[49:28] I would I'd be freaking out.

[49:29] I just got to have my stuff.

[49:30] You know, I got to have my stuff.

[49:31] Maybe they did bring no luggage or else they would have had or they wouldn't have a loose

[49:35] envelope full of cash.

[49:36] Yeah.

[49:37] They're just walking around with.

[49:39] OK.

[49:40] So they get captured by the Australian like bounty hunter hitman guy, Mr. Smith and his

[49:45] two goons.

[49:47] He split up.

[49:48] They were supposed to give this money to.

[49:50] He knows that they did that.

[49:52] He thinks they've cheated him.

[49:53] Yeah.

[49:54] Yeah.

[49:55] Yeah.

[49:56] That he he that's money that's owed to him.

[49:57] So he takes Jesse off.

[50:00] find the kangaroo and he sends his goons to take our hero our other heroes away they turn the

[50:07] tables they distract the goons uh they manage to uh i don't know get guns on smith they like steal

[50:16] a gun off of the camel and they get us they save jesse it's tables are turned we're like hooray

[50:21] everything's good not pretty half-assed no because at this point frankie shows up frankie has been in

[50:27] australia for a little bit he has gone through a series of guides to lead him on his path to

[50:32] finding our heroes each time he gets the information he needs he throws them out of a jeep in an

[50:36] overhead shot which the second time it happened i was like i think it's funny that they repeated

[50:41] this yeah and again michael shannon is inhabiting this character in a way that nobody else does

[50:46] so he is genuinely funny at times they have a the gangsters end up getting in a fight with

[50:51] each other uh our heroes and jesse escape and they go after kangaroo jack uh the mobsters crash

[51:01] their jeep through a tight canyon lewis while riding a camel falls off a cliff charlie manages

[51:09] to save him at the last minute the square then frankie shows up and he has a gun on them and he

[51:15] explains that the money was actually money to pay smith to kill them so they were paying somebody

[51:21] else to kill them it's a very weird moment where frankie shows up and saves them from smith but

[51:26] then is like actually he's supposed to kill you it's like why frankie why are you here why did

[51:31] you get involved what's the what's the i think he wanted the honor of killing them oh possibly that

[51:36] makes it so they would serve him and there's too many shenanigans going on like they'd have they

[51:42] did evade they'd have evaded uh being killed for long enough that it felt it seemed like a cleanup

[51:47] crew needed to go in now why he stopped him at that point for just doing it that's more who knows

[51:53] other than like he doesn't want to have to pay the money at that point because the

[51:56] the deal is gone so maybe that's it maybe that's so far bad but like that is cold-blooded of

[52:01] christopher walken to uh have his surrogate child deliver the money for his own dan i hate to break

[52:09] it to you mob bosses they're not all mafia mamas look they don't get where they are by being nice

[52:14] to people they're mean people they're bad guys i know that i know that when you you live in

[52:18] brooklyn so you're like john goddard what a stand-up guy he takes care of the neighborhood

[52:22] oh what a hero we'll get off his back lousy that's actually a really good dan impression

[52:26] right yeah it's me dan mccoy hey i'm from eureka illinois is how we talk about it is i will i will

[52:32] point out that the way that our heroes talk despite the fact they made a point of being two

[52:37] boys from brooklyn seem to have nothing no brooklyn qualities about them no not at all

[52:42] is referencing restaurants that do not exist in brooklyn uh yeah he has a sweatshirt that

[52:48] says brooklyn on it though yeah you know you can just buy those you don't have to be born into it

[52:55] i thought that was what they swaddled the babies in when they were born in brooklyn

[52:58] yeah i was mad that even though i lived in brooklyn my son was born in manhattan because

[53:02] i was like but he's not gonna get that cool sweatshirt he's not gonna get a cool sweatshirt

[53:05] yeah um okay so frankie has a gun on him we think our heroes gooses are cooked not so fast

[53:12] because a police helicopter shows up being piloted by a guide who was the police chief

[53:19] undercover earlier who would yes frankie this is incredibly unnecessary adequately set up

[53:25] for to be the guy that um saves them at the end of the movie yeah uh frankie tries to run away but

[53:32] charlie uses his newfound bolo skills to knock him down uh he we then have a little moment of

[53:39] friendship between lewis and charlie when jerry o'connell does a fairly suspect anthony anderson

[53:46] impression like it's the sort of thing where i'm like oh that's not cool anymore dude right in the

[53:51] line uh i found this moment don't make fun of me like we were a for a brief second i found this

[53:59] moment kind of touching where anthony anderson feels like okay well you were only my friend

[54:06] because i saved you and it's all been based on guilt and jerry why else would you be friends

[54:12] with me i caused nothing but trouble and i'm a moron yeah and jerry connell's response is like

[54:18] you know something i think that is relatable where he's like basically saying like yeah you are this

[54:24] agent of chaos in my life but i need that like all of my best stories begin with you you know

[54:32] obviously like the relationship has meaning to both of them they bring something to each other

[54:37] and then it's all ruined by like this like gay panic moment where it's like

[54:41] you know we're not being gay over here or whatever like and i'm just like

[54:44] uh movie you're really like drained out the last little bit of goodwill here yeah yeah i think it

[54:52] would have been i wish if if i had gotten a better sense of their friendship beforehand i think that

[54:55] would could have been a very sweet moment i know nothing about their lives yeah other than their

[55:00] friendship and the fact that he owns a hair salon so when he's like all my good stories belong with

[55:03] you with you you didn't save my life that day you saved my life every day i'm like i wish i'd seen

[55:09] any of that beforehand but it is otherwise a very yeah sweet moment that does not need them to then

[55:15] tell make sure everyone knows that because they're hugging they're not about to start

[55:19] expressing affection for one another maybe maybe the r-rated cut has a sequence uh like a end of

[55:25] second act sequence where charlie and lewis kind of go their separate ways they like have friends

[55:31] break up yeah the shrek donkey moment where they both like explore their life otherwise and

[55:36] they realize like yeah my life's really boring without lewis and lewis is like

[55:39] without charlie around my life's insane when i first saw shrek when i first saw shrek

[55:46] i'll gather around children it's time for another dan's memories of shrek

[55:52] you fished your movie ticket out of your wallet which was attached to your belt using a chain

[55:57] so because he was a cherry poppin daddy at the time i'm gonna anger the legions of people out

[56:02] there that for some reason still inexplicably like shrek but because they saw it as a kid

[56:06] there's no other reason yeah i didn't particularly like it at the time i saw it like i felt like

[56:12] there'd been all these reviews that were saying oh what a funny twist on this and i watched them

[56:18] like okay well this is like a worse version of fractured fairy tales a thing that has existed

[56:23] you know it didn't feel new to me in the way that people were excited about it and i wasn't

[56:28] enjoying it that much but i was enjoying it enough and then that moment happened where

[56:34] the donkey and shrek have their falling out and i felt myself deflate exhausted where i'm just like

[56:42] this is the most pro forma yes you know end of second act rift between the main characters for

[56:51] no reason just so we can get them back together and i'm could i never see this in a movie again

[56:58] please and i never used that bit in a movie ever that was the last time congress passed a law

[57:06] called shrek donkey act all friends must remain friends in movies shrek me donkey adequate

[57:15] motivation be given yeah yeah friends will have to remain friends until the crisis is over because

[57:22] come on guys chill out yeah you're both in a stressful situation you you you can uh accept

[57:28] a little bit of extra from each other yeah your bond of years well i guess not years in this case

[57:33] but your bond is stronger than this i mean well that's the other thing is that shrek and donkey

[57:36] have been friends for like what a couple days at that point all right i've turned around shrek

[57:39] five stars five stars we did it okay uh so at this point now they've stopped the bad guys uh

[57:47] luckily kangaroo jack is right there charlie coaxed him over with a tuft of grass he manages

[57:52] to get the lucky jacket back and the money jack introduces uh charlie to the rest of his kangaroo

[57:58] family he gets introduced this is a bit of a stretch they wander over he he gets kicked in the

[58:05] chest by not exchanged oh he gets kicked in the chest by another kangaroo and everybody loses

[58:11] their minds the reaction shots are bonkers their eyes are bugging out of their heads

[58:16] their mouths have turned into black hole sun rictuses of enjoyment this is also he's now

[58:22] been kicked in the chest by two different kangaroos one an adult one a child he again

[58:27] his chest is collapsed like his ribs at the very least should be broken a little bit he may be like

[58:32] this kangaroos hit really like kick really hard yeah yeah you would expect yeah you would expect

[58:37] like a tiny little sylvester to be like oh father scared of a mouse my wife does a much my own

[58:45] father okay there's like i just wish you wanted to stop me like have you seen how big this mouse is

[58:54] it's enormous look at it do you i'm sure that you guys actually kangaroo hippity hopper yeah when

[59:00] like when you're a kid like inexplicable things will like very much upset you like not not like

[59:06] yeah well you're just like man that is unfair you know like racism sure or yeah and then you get

[59:13] older you come to understand it and then you come to appreciate it yeah you get really old you come

[59:17] to a body yeah no that's so i just remember like those hippity hopper ones really upset

[59:25] yeah because it is the idea that the like that i i know i felt the same way that like this kid is

[59:30] ashamed of his father and the father's feeling embarrassed and he's getting the shit kicked out

[59:34] of him by a kangaroo it's the same way on the red exact yeah constant and the same way that um

[59:40] anytime i was watching a sitcom and a character was about to be caught in a misunderstanding

[59:44] i would get very tense and sometimes have to leave the room the um my wife was telling me

[59:49] about um some friends of hers took their kids to see uh i think it was the new willy wonk the

[59:55] new wonka movie and there's a part where like when it seems like they're about to get in

[1:00:00] trouble, they get scared, you know, and they don't, and they don't want to watch it.

[1:00:02] And it's like, yeah, kids, kids get in trouble a lot.

[1:00:04] So they don't like to see characters getting in trouble.

[1:00:07] It's very, it's more frightening than, um, being killed in some ways, you know?

[1:00:11] Yeah.

[1:00:12] Until kids realize that like nothing that people can do to them matters anymore.

[1:00:16] And they're the ones with the real power.

[1:00:18] Oh God.

[1:00:19] Yeah.

[1:00:20] I mean, when do they, when do they feel that way?

[1:00:22] Does it, when does that kick in?

[1:00:23] When they realize that like, when like you can't do anything to them as a parent, cause

[1:00:28] they'll just like call CPS or some crap.

[1:00:30] It's certainly the moment when my, when my younger son recognized that I can tell him

[1:00:34] not to do something.

[1:00:35] And then if he just starts doing it, there's very little I can do because there's a limit

[1:00:38] to how far I can go physically and restraining him.

[1:00:41] If it's like, he's going to, he gets in bed, you have to go back to bed because you're

[1:00:45] not very strong.

[1:00:46] It's because I'm weak.

[1:00:47] It's because he's stronger than me and he can overpower me.

[1:00:50] Exactly.

[1:00:51] He, what he, what my, what my five-year-old does is he puts his hand up against my forehead

[1:00:54] and I just swing.

[1:00:55] I just swing.

[1:00:56] Yeah.

[1:00:57] It's weird because you'd think that your reach would be greater than Gabriel's.

[1:01:01] What you have to understand, Dan, is that I'm a cartoonishly small weak man is the thing.

[1:01:06] It's ludicrously small that a five-year-old has a better reach than me and is stronger

[1:01:10] than me.

[1:01:11] That's, that's the basic premise of life that I'm getting.

[1:01:14] It's almost laughable.

[1:01:15] Wow.

[1:01:16] How incredibly tiny I am.

[1:01:17] Like that, uh, when, when, uh, I remember still when, uh, when I said, Oh Sammy, do

[1:01:21] you want to read the Indian in the Cupboard?

[1:01:23] And he said, but you're the same size as the Indian in the Cupboard.

[1:01:25] I just want you in a Cupboard.

[1:01:26] And he picked me up and put me in a Cupboard and he locked it.

[1:01:29] Yeah.

[1:01:30] And then when you opened the door, a big cat face was there.

[1:01:33] Exactly.

[1:01:34] Well, that's like when, when we watched Cinderella and he said, and he said, remember when we

[1:01:37] did that to you, daddy, when the mice were locked in the cabinet?

[1:01:40] Yeah.

[1:01:41] Yeah.

[1:01:42] Yeah.

[1:01:43] When, yeah, he pulled out your DVD copy of Small Soldiers and he's like, don't you just

[1:01:45] call these guys soldiers?

[1:01:46] Cause they're the same size as you.

[1:01:50] Actually, the, the thing they've been doing a lot recently is, is, is call, is talking

[1:01:55] about me farting and calling me and, and so it was like, and they were drawing chalk chalk

[1:02:00] drawings on the ground and they were like, this is you and it's just like a stick mirror

[1:02:04] glasses with a fart cloud.

[1:02:05] And at the end of the day they were saying something to me and I was like, I'm not, I'm

[1:02:10] not amused anymore.

[1:02:11] And my wife was like, come on, just hit their kids.

[1:02:13] And I was like, they've spent all day telling me that I fart.

[1:02:17] Like I don't need to buy into these jokes anymore.

[1:02:19] Yeah.

[1:02:20] No, I, I, I got another episode of Elliot gets bullied by his own children.

[1:02:26] I understand your perspective at the end of the day.

[1:02:29] I would not like that either, but man, hearing about it, hearing that it happened all day.

[1:02:34] Oh man.

[1:02:35] They're drawing chalk pictures of members of the family and they drew a picture of Danielle,

[1:02:39] my wife, where she is holding a guitar and they're like, you're a rock star in this picture.

[1:02:42] And they drew a picture of me and then they go and watch this and they drew a toilet underneath

[1:02:46] it.

[1:02:47] This is you sitting on the toilet.

[1:02:49] Thanks.

[1:02:50] They got you.

[1:02:51] That's the thing that you do.

[1:02:52] It is the thing I do.

[1:02:53] It's the thing I and nobody else in the house does is sit on a toilet.

[1:02:57] Yeah.

[1:02:58] Ever.

[1:02:59] Oh, burn.

[1:03:00] What?

[1:03:01] It's a mistake I made.

[1:03:02] When I decided to start excreting the waste from my food that my body didn't need anymore

[1:03:08] into a receptacle designed for that process.

[1:03:10] That was my mistake.

[1:03:11] I should have done it.

[1:03:12] You never knew you did that.

[1:03:13] Yeah, the couch is slipping, dude.

[1:03:15] Takes a moment.

[1:03:18] I'm one of the few people who has a room in my house dedicated to the removal of this

[1:03:21] waste.

[1:03:22] Yeah.

[1:03:23] Must be nice to have so much room.

[1:03:24] Yeah.

[1:03:25] I have a whole house, a whole room for that.

[1:03:26] Guys, I think we're in the...

[1:03:27] A whole room for shitting in.

[1:03:28] Oh, Mr. Moneybags over here.

[1:03:29] Oh.

[1:03:30] We're in the...

[1:03:31] I think we're in the home stretch here.

[1:03:32] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1:03:33] Let's put a bow on this bitch.

[1:03:34] So we flash forward one year later.

[1:03:35] We get a little bit of monologue from Jerry O'Connell.

[1:03:36] I don't totally remember it all, but he's looking at a newspaper that talks about, like,

[1:03:37] a mob bust.

[1:03:38] His stepdad has finally been...

[1:03:39] He could only pull so many strings, and now he's going to jail for his crimes?

[1:03:40] Yeah.

[1:03:41] I don't think it's for setting up the hit.

[1:03:42] I think it's his crimes.

[1:03:43] And he is lounging around on a yacht that we learn is his, that he owns.

[1:03:44] Yeah.

[1:03:45] Yeah.

[1:03:46] Yeah.

[1:03:47] Yeah.

[1:03:48] Yeah.

[1:03:49] Yeah.

[1:03:50] Yeah.

[1:03:51] Yeah.

[1:03:52] Yeah.

[1:03:53] Yeah.

[1:03:54] Yeah.

[1:03:55] Yeah.

[1:03:56] Yeah.

[1:03:57] Yeah.

[1:03:58] Yeah.

[1:03:59] Yeah.

[1:04:00] Yeah.

[1:04:01] Yeah.

[1:04:02] Yeah.

[1:04:03] Yeah.

[1:04:04] Yeah.

[1:04:05] And we learn from Jerry O'Connell, who has just been arrested, that we learn is his,

[1:04:06] that he has made his fortune using that $50,000 and creating a shampoo line using those fancy

[1:04:14] berries they found in the outback.

[1:04:16] Yes.

[1:04:17] He's now married to Jessie and I guess adopted Louis to be their child.

[1:04:21] Yeah.

[1:04:22] Yeah.

[1:04:23] Yeah.

[1:04:24] And this is when, as Dan mentioned-

[1:04:25] Which is their business partners and their...

[1:04:26] Yeah.

[1:04:27] This one, as Dan mentioned, with their business partners, which is why he also goes on their

[1:04:29] vacations with them.

[1:04:30] Their yacht.

[1:04:31] But as Dan mentioned, this is when Louis reveals himself by cannonballing off the roof of the

[1:04:35] yacht into the hot tub.

[1:04:37] You have to assume, in real life, hurting himself and destroying the hot tub.

[1:04:40] But then he just splashes them and they all laugh.

[1:04:42] Now here's...

[1:04:44] This ending felt weird to me.

[1:04:47] I wonder whether it was like-

[1:04:48] How so, Dan?

[1:04:49] It seemed a total natural progression from everything we've seen in the movie until then.

[1:04:52] That it would end with them as millionaire shampoo entrepreneurs.

[1:04:56] Whether this was part of the reshoots because there was such a big deal made about Estella

[1:05:02] Warren needing money to do this ecological preservation in Australia that I kind of assumed

[1:05:10] that the logical happy ending to this is somehow she winds up with the $50,000.

[1:05:15] And maybe they're working with her after that.

[1:05:17] They're working together in Australia.

[1:05:19] They have a new life there.

[1:05:20] Anthony Anderson can be with them too, sure.

[1:05:23] That's the happy ending that seems like it does something for the world and doesn't just

[1:05:29] tip her away from her interests to come be a shampoo magnate on a yacht.

[1:05:35] And wife.

[1:05:36] She's just looking at him so adoringly.

[1:05:38] She's lost all personal independence or agency.

[1:05:41] But you're forgetting the highest good is to get as much money as possible so that you

[1:05:46] can use that money to save the people of the future from evil AI computers.

[1:05:51] You're forgetting that that is the highest of all noble goods.

[1:05:53] That's what's going to happen.

[1:05:54] And so that you can drop some sick memes.

[1:05:57] What else?

[1:05:58] What else can you do?

[1:05:59] You can.

[1:06:00] You can really invest in crypto and then get out right before he realizes what it is.

[1:06:04] Yeah.

[1:06:05] You could turn yourself into like a C-grade Pitbull impersonator.

[1:06:09] OK.

[1:06:10] You have to understand that the highest good is to make as much money as possible so you

[1:06:14] can transfer that money into the form of images of apes with sunglasses on.

[1:06:19] And then question mark.

[1:06:20] Something that gets you to heaven.

[1:06:21] Someone's making sense.

[1:06:22] Someone's saying something I understand.

[1:06:23] I'll be so mad if I die.

[1:06:25] I go to heaven.

[1:06:26] And then the computer is like, OK, just give me one ape NFT and then you get into heaven.

[1:06:29] And I'll be like, oh, is that what I need is like that was always the admission fee.

[1:06:33] No one has ever been gotten into heaven until 2012 or whatever 2000 when they start 18 or

[1:06:38] something.

[1:06:39] I don't know.

[1:06:40] But at that point, wouldn't you be happy to not be going in there because those guys are

[1:06:43] all terrible.

[1:06:44] That's true.

[1:06:45] And then I'd say, wait, this is having to go.

[1:06:46] Oh, no.

[1:06:47] The opposite.

[1:06:48] I'm sorry.

[1:06:49] I'm the devil.

[1:06:50] This is hell.

[1:06:51] And I go, OK, thanks.

[1:06:52] I'll go the other way.

[1:06:53] Yeah.

[1:06:54] Thanks for being honest.

[1:06:55] The devil.

[1:06:56] Yeah.

[1:06:57] Speaking of a devil like figure, our movie doesn't end on a yacht.

[1:07:00] No, no, no.

[1:07:01] It ends back in the outback where we have a kangaroo jack kangaroo jack that malevolent

[1:07:06] trickster.

[1:07:07] Yeah.

[1:07:08] At this point, he's wearing the jacket again, right?

[1:07:10] Somehow he got the jacket.

[1:07:11] Yeah.

[1:07:12] I think he probably wore it for himself because it looks so good.

[1:07:13] Yeah.

[1:07:14] Yeah.

[1:07:15] Yeah.

[1:07:16] And he's just a kangaroo.

[1:07:17] Yeah.

[1:07:18] And we and we clarified you can just buy that sweatshirt.

[1:07:19] You don't have to be born in Brooklyn.

[1:07:20] So and then he does like he does a song like rap and he does a bunch of bits.

[1:07:23] He does.

[1:07:24] I'd say a fairly passable Dr. Evil impression.

[1:07:27] What do you think?

[1:07:28] Yeah.

[1:07:29] This is a really dated the movie.

[1:07:30] So much.

[1:07:31] So incredible.

[1:07:32] More than a rapping kangaroo.

[1:07:33] Dated the movie.

[1:07:34] Yes.

[1:07:35] It's so incredibly lazy, too, because he's like, I'm the star of the movie.

[1:07:37] I can do impressions and he does one impression and it's Dr. Evil.

[1:07:41] And it's like you couldn't even do two more shitty impressions like you could like that.

[1:07:45] That was it.

[1:07:46] That was just all set up for a Dr. Evil joke.

[1:07:48] But it does date it considerably considerably, because if you show this movie to a child now,

[1:07:52] which I will not do because, again, CPS will take my kids away from me if I do, they would

[1:07:57] have no idea what that was a joke about.

[1:07:59] Like, it's just it's gone from the zeitgeist.

[1:08:02] You know.

[1:08:03] Yeah.

[1:08:04] There's so much there's so much comedy from around that time where someone either on purpose

[1:08:07] or as a joke about telling a bad joke goes like, yeah, baby.

[1:08:11] And now no one now there's a whole generation that will just not understand that.

[1:08:14] I guess people just said that back then.

[1:08:16] I get people.

[1:08:17] Why was everyone saying, yeah, baby, and kind of a not quite English accent back then?

[1:08:22] Why is everyone asking if other people made them horny?

[1:08:24] I don't understand.

[1:08:25] Or if they made other harassment.

[1:08:28] Hey, let's close out Kangaroo Jack by doing our final judgments, saying whether we thought

[1:08:33] this was a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, a movie we kind of like.

[1:08:37] This is a weird one for me.

[1:08:38] I'm not.

[1:08:39] It is not a good movie.

[1:08:40] It's not a movie I kind of liked.

[1:08:46] But unlike the scale of like flophouse movies, I certainly had more and more enjoyable time

[1:08:51] watching this than a lot of them.

[1:08:54] And I think that it is less than it is a like good, bad movie in the sense that I'm like

[1:08:59] laughing at how hilarious all the badness of it is and more just like at a certain point

[1:09:06] as you grow older, you will find that you get nostalgic for a particular flavor of badness

[1:09:12] that used to exist that doesn't exist in the world so much anymore.

[1:09:15] Like this movie feels so of its time and so of like the type of bad movie you would

[1:09:20] get back then that I had this kind of like sneaking fondness for it.

[1:09:24] So I guess I'm saying good, bad.

[1:09:26] Yeah.

[1:09:27] There is.

[1:09:28] You are taking your female lead and putting her in a an undershirt and getting that shirt

[1:09:32] wet.

[1:09:33] I guess it gets right.

[1:09:34] Half a star.

[1:09:35] I'll allow it.

[1:09:36] Says Dan McCoy.

[1:09:37] So you're saying, Dan, this should have won the Best Picture Oscar for that year instead

[1:09:40] of let's see what won that year.

[1:09:42] Lord of the Rings Return of the King.

[1:09:43] I think Stuart would agree with this.

[1:09:45] I'm going to kill all of you.

[1:09:49] Dan, you are right that this is a very this was a very nostalgic feeling film in that

[1:09:52] way.

[1:09:53] It feels like kind of bad movie from that time.

[1:09:54] I'm also going to call it a bad, bad movie because it's a huge waste of time.

[1:09:58] It felt the whole time I'm watching.

[1:10:00] Like, why does this exist?

[1:10:02] Why am I watching it?

[1:10:03] I don't want to steal another person's podcast title,

[1:10:06] but how did this get made?

[1:10:07] How?

[1:10:08] How did this movie?

[1:10:09] And how do I get-

[1:10:10] We know a lot about how it got made in this case,

[1:10:11] but-

[1:10:12] Well, I think we understand how it got made,

[1:10:13] but we don't know why it got made.

[1:10:15] So you get some cameras, and actors, and lights.

[1:10:19] Oh, really?

[1:10:19] Yeah.

[1:10:20] Tell me more.

[1:10:21] We should call Paul, Jason, and June,

[1:10:23] and tell them all this information.

[1:10:24] But the idea that like,

[1:10:26] and this was from Jerry Bruckheimer.

[1:10:28] It's from a big production company.

[1:10:30] And Jerry Bruckheimer Films is like,

[1:10:32] we'll get the director from Coyote Ugly.

[1:10:34] We'll get Jerry O'Connell.

[1:10:35] It's a story about a kangaroo and some mobsters.

[1:10:38] We've got to make this movie.

[1:10:39] Like, I don't, it's the,

[1:10:41] we have to spend, you know,

[1:10:42] tens of millions of dollars on this.

[1:10:44] It just, I find it very baffling,

[1:10:46] because it's kind of a nothing movie.

[1:10:48] Yeah, it's not fun enough to be a good, bad movie.

[1:10:54] And yeah, it's just, it's mainly-

[1:10:57] It's not bad enough to be a good, bad movie,

[1:10:58] where you're like, you know,

[1:11:00] where it's making an impression on you, at least.

[1:11:02] Yeah.

[1:11:03] Yeah, it's just, it's not good.

[1:11:06] Don't watch it.

[1:11:07] It's not what you want.

[1:11:08] I promise you.

[1:11:09] It's not what you want.

[1:11:11] Two non-recommendations,

[1:11:12] and one should-have-won-best-picture,

[1:11:13] from Dan McCullough.

[1:11:14] Yep, that's what I said.

[1:11:16] ♪♪

[1:11:21] From the twisted minds that brought you

[1:11:24] The Adventure Zone,

[1:11:25] Balance and Amnesty and Graduation and Aether Sea

[1:11:30] and Steeplechase and Ultra Space,

[1:11:32] and all the other ones,

[1:11:34] the McElroy brothers and dad are proud to reveal

[1:11:37] a bold vision for the future of actual play podcasting.

[1:11:41] It's, um, it's called The Adventure Zone vs. Dracula.

[1:11:46] Yeah, we're gonna kill Dracula's ass.

[1:11:49] Well, we're gonna attempt-

[1:11:50] We haven't recorded all of it yet.

[1:11:51] We will attempt to kill Dracula's ass.

[1:11:53] The Adventure Zone vs. Dracula.

[1:11:55] Yes, a season I will be running

[1:11:57] using the D&D 5th edition rule set,

[1:12:00] and there's two episodes out for you to listen to right now.

[1:12:03] We hope you will join us.

[1:12:04] Same bat time, same bat channel.

[1:12:06] And bats.

[1:12:07] I see what you did there.

[1:12:09] People say not to judge a fish

[1:12:11] by its ability to climb a tree.

[1:12:14] Which is why here on Just the Zoo of Us,

[1:12:16] we judge them by so much more.

[1:12:18] We rate animals out of 10

[1:12:19] in the categories of effectiveness, ingenuity,

[1:12:22] and aesthetics, taking into consideration

[1:12:24] each animal's true strengths,

[1:12:26] like a pigeon's ability to tell a Monet from a Picasso,

[1:12:29] or a polar bear's ability to play basketball.

[1:12:32] Guest experts like biologists, ecologists, and more

[1:12:35] join us to share their unique insight

[1:12:37] into the animal's world.

[1:12:38] Listen with friends and family of all ages

[1:12:40] on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts.

[1:12:44] ♪♪

[1:12:51] Let's do our sponsors.

[1:12:55] Let's not do our sponsors.

[1:12:57] Let's provide our sponsors' messages.

[1:12:59] You seem unprofessional, unethical.

[1:13:01] To the listeners, our podcast, The Flophouse,

[1:13:06] is sponsored in part by Rocket Money.

[1:13:09] Now, if I asked you, how many subscriptions do you have?

[1:13:12] Would you be able to list all of them

[1:13:14] and what you're paying?

[1:13:16] The amount you're spending might surprise you.

[1:13:19] I believe it.

[1:13:20] You sign up for a thing, you let it go,

[1:13:22] you forget about it,

[1:13:24] and then you're spending all that money for nothing.

[1:13:26] Rocket Money can help find...

[1:13:27] Money for nothing and the chicks for free,

[1:13:28] but in a bad way.

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[1:14:00] an average of seven and, I said, $720 a year.

[1:14:08] $720 a year.

[1:14:10] Let's put it that way.

[1:14:11] That's an easier way of hearing it.

[1:14:13] No, I liked the quest you had to go on to get there.

[1:14:16] It wasn't the destination, it was the journey, yeah.

[1:14:18] Sorry, I'm feeling a headache, come on, in real time.

[1:14:23] Yeah, well, that's a big number to have to comprehend

[1:14:25] and to have to, it's a lot.

[1:14:27] With over $500 million in canceled subscriptions.

[1:14:32] Guys, we had a lot of fun.

[1:14:34] Oh, did we ever.

[1:14:35] But here's the important thing that I have to say.

[1:14:39] Why not cancel your unwanted subscriptions

[1:14:41] by going to rocketmoney.com slash flop?

[1:14:44] That's rocketmoney.com slash flop.

[1:14:47] Rocketmoney.com slash flop.

[1:14:51] Hey there, I'm Stuart Wellington

[1:14:52] and I'm a hard-working podcaster.

[1:14:55] And you know, before a heavy podcasting sesh,

[1:14:58] I need to get some energy.

[1:14:59] And the best way to get energy, that's right,

[1:15:01] eat some food.

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[1:16:00] That's code flop50 at factormeals.com

[1:16:04] slash flop50 to get 50% off, yum.

[1:16:10] Yum, indeed.

[1:16:11] Elliot?

[1:16:12] Yum, indeed.

[1:16:13] There's some Flophouse stuff to talk about.

[1:16:15] Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

[1:16:17] If you're listening to this episode

[1:16:18] on the day it comes out, January 27th,

[1:16:21] then you should know we have been having

[1:16:22] a spectacular West Coast tour.

[1:16:25] We've had great stops in Portland,

[1:16:27] in Vancouver, in San Francisco.

[1:16:29] We just were at San Francisco last night.

[1:16:31] It was an amazing show.

[1:16:32] I wish I could tell you all the incredible things

[1:16:34] that happened during it, but I can't.

[1:16:36] We just don't have time.

[1:16:37] And we're recording this ahead of time.

[1:16:38] So I don't technically know, but I will know,

[1:16:40] and it's going to be great.

[1:16:42] Tomorrow night, January 28th,

[1:16:44] if you're listening to this on our release day,

[1:16:45] we will be in Los Angeles, California

[1:16:47] at the Regent Theater live, talking Spawn.

[1:16:51] That's right, Spawn, the movie

[1:16:53] that started the superhero craze.

[1:16:56] We wouldn't have the MCU without Spawn, probably.

[1:16:58] So come on down and hear us talk about it.

[1:17:00] Go to flophousepodcast.com slash events for more info.

[1:17:05] Or you can go to the Regent Theater website,

[1:17:10] which is regentdtla.com, and you can buy tickets there.

[1:17:15] So go to regentdtla.com or to flophousepodcast.com

[1:17:20] slash events to get tickets for our show tomorrow night

[1:17:23] in Los Angeles at the Regent Theater.

[1:17:25] It's going to be very fun.

[1:17:26] It's the last stop of our West Coast tour.

[1:17:29] And I don't know when we're going to be back

[1:17:31] to the West Coast.

[1:17:32] This may be your last chance to see us live

[1:17:34] if you live in the Los Angeles area for quite some time.

[1:17:38] In fact, I'll tell you, just come see us.

[1:17:41] We're not coming back for a while.

[1:17:42] This is not going to happen.

[1:17:43] I can't, I'm done shitting where I eat.

[1:17:45] I can't, I can't do it anymore.

[1:17:47] I'll get a bad name.

[1:17:48] So come see us tomorrow night at the Regent Theater,

[1:17:51] Flophouse Live, talking about Spawn.

[1:17:53] And if you come see us, and that's just not quite enough

[1:17:57] of seeing our sweet, beautiful faces while we talk,

[1:18:00] you still have a couple days in which you can watch Flop TV.

[1:18:05] January is not quite over yet.

[1:18:07] And if you go to theflophouse.simpletix.com,

[1:18:09] you can still get a season pass to watch the recordings

[1:18:11] of our Flop TV episodes.

[1:18:13] Those will be up for another few days

[1:18:15] until the end of January.

[1:18:16] But the real excitement is tomorrow's show in Los Angeles.

[1:18:20] Go to flophousepodcast.com slash events

[1:18:22] or regentdtla.com, stands for downtown LA.

[1:18:26] And you can come see us live talking about Spawn.

[1:18:30] Guys, are you excited to talk about Spawn tomorrow?

[1:18:32] I am, yeah, I'll project myself forward into the future

[1:18:35] where I assume my opinion will be the same.

[1:18:37] And I'm excited to talk about Spawn

[1:18:39] because that is a wild movie.

[1:18:41] There's, people forget there was a time

[1:18:44] when they didn't know how to make superhero movies.

[1:18:46] And there's also a time where they didn't know

[1:18:49] really how to use computer graphics in movies.

[1:18:51] Yeah. And they collide in Spawn.

[1:18:54] And there was one single time when John Leguizamo

[1:18:58] didn't seem to know what he was doing.

[1:18:59] That was also in Spawn.

[1:19:02] Man, yeah, there's, I have so much affection now

[1:19:05] for that era of digital effects where you're like,

[1:19:09] what was that movie, Hideaway based on the Dean Koot book?

[1:19:12] Oh boy, give me that.

[1:19:13] Give me like things collapsing

[1:19:15] into like weird puddles of CGI goo.

[1:19:18] Oh man.

[1:19:19] I used to do that all the time, yeah.

[1:19:21] Like in Time Cop where the, where he throws the one,

[1:19:24] what's his name, into the other, what's his name?

[1:19:26] Ron Silver.

[1:19:26] Ron Silver, yeah.

[1:19:27] And they push together.

[1:19:28] Virtuosity and Lawnmower Man.

[1:19:30] Yeah.

[1:19:31] All that stuff.

[1:19:32] Give me, yum, yum, yum.

[1:19:33] If you also feel that nostalgia for 90s CGI,

[1:19:37] come see us talk about Spawn.

[1:19:39] We're not, you're not going to see Spawn,

[1:19:40] but you'll see us talk about it

[1:19:41] and you'll get more of this.

[1:19:42] It's going to be a good time.

[1:19:45] But let's move on, shall we, to letters from listeners.

[1:19:50] We have them.

[1:19:50] They're you.

[1:19:51] And you send letters to us.

[1:19:54] Is this your letter?

[1:19:54] Maybe, listen up.

[1:19:56] This one's from.

[1:19:57] Listen up, idiot.

[1:19:58] Pay attention.

[1:20:00] Hey, class, shut up.

[1:20:01] Hey, is this your letter?

[1:20:02] There's only one way to know.

[1:20:04] Listen up, stupid, listen up.

[1:20:06] It's like Dan and more of a, what, Pantera type vibe, maybe?

[1:20:09] Yeah, sure.

[1:20:10] This is from Meg, last name withheld?

[1:20:14] Is your name Meg?

[1:20:15] If it's not, it's not your letter.

[1:20:17] Keep listening.

[1:20:18] Maybe we'll get to you.

[1:20:19] Okay, cool.

[1:20:21] But Meg, this is your letter, so listen especially to this one.

[1:20:25] When I started listening to- I realize it's turning into Hey Mickey, the

[1:20:28] song.

[1:20:30] When I started listening to The Flophouse in 2016, Stu tended to indulge in adult consumption

[1:20:37] products and not infrequently mention Castle Freak.

[1:20:41] I would listen to the podcast at the gym, and I was just getting into the swing of protein

[1:20:45] counting.

[1:20:46] Smash cut to today, I blew off the gym and am instead indulging in adult consumption

[1:20:52] products and watching Castle Freak, while Stu is, one presumes, curling with one hand

[1:20:58] and downing a protein shake in the other.

[1:21:00] So since Stu and I have switched personalities, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind watching

[1:21:07] the 2017 Russian answer to the Marvel movies, The Defenders.

[1:21:12] At the time I started listening to The Flophouse, I was living abroad in a small Russian city.

[1:21:17] The Defenders was a film I always felt would be perfect for The Flophouse.

[1:21:20] Pretty Ladies for Dan, Superheroes for Elliot, A Bear Man for Stu, if it weren't in Russian

[1:21:25] since you all don't seem to do foreign films.

[1:21:28] I remember the trailer for this one going around.

[1:21:31] Pizzarini, have you thought about doing bad foreign language films on the podcast?

[1:21:35] What foreign language films would you consider doing?

[1:21:38] Foreign film February has a fun ring to it, no?

[1:21:43] I think we only did Aileen.

[1:21:45] Yes, I think that's the only foreign language film we've ever done.

[1:21:51] I mean, I know that speaking for myself.

[1:21:53] We'll do an older movie, so maybe we'll do Life is Beautiful.

[1:21:56] I guess, no pitfalls there in making a foreign language film.

[1:22:05] I mean, obviously, one would hope that in an ideal world when there's a podcast about

[1:22:12] a bad movie, the hosts are paying close attention to it at every moment.

[1:22:17] But I know that for me, my brain tends to slide off the movies and I have to keep slapping

[1:22:22] myself to keep paying attention.

[1:22:25] And I don't know whether it would be good to have to have subtitles to keep me locked

[1:22:30] in or bad because I would just be like, I can't do this.

[1:22:34] I can't stay this locked in on a bad movie this whole time.

[1:22:38] There's also a part of me where I like if something seems silly or doesn't make sense,

[1:22:42] I'm like, is this just a cultural difference that I don't understand?

[1:22:48] Something like that.

[1:22:49] That is a pitfall I would worry about.

[1:22:50] I'm like, what is that all about?

[1:22:52] Who does that?

[1:22:53] And it turns out it's a common thing or it's a special thing or it's a sacred or important

[1:22:57] thing.

[1:22:58] And we definitely don't want it.

[1:22:59] There was one of the issues I had that I could never quite articulate was how much I enjoyed

[1:23:04] the movie R.R.R.

[1:23:06] But at the end, when there's that dance number where they're just singing about the strength

[1:23:09] of the Indian nation, I was like, this feels less OK to me.

[1:23:13] Or the fact that these two guys are equal heroes, but then one of them is at the end

[1:23:17] is clearly becomes superior to the other one in terms of like hierarchy like this.

[1:23:22] But but I couldn't I didn't know enough about Indian culture or modern India to parse that

[1:23:27] completely.

[1:23:28] And I would worry about podcasting in that way about that kind of thing from a seed of

[1:23:31] half knowledge.

[1:23:32] I also think that just sort of like in a practical sense, you know, the foreign films that tend

[1:23:38] to reach us are the cream of the crop, you know, and we don't they rise to the top.

[1:23:44] Yeah.

[1:23:45] I never trust a pig.

[1:23:46] There's a pig.

[1:23:47] We don't hear about the movies that are so bad that they're funny, you know, like it's

[1:23:53] just those don't get exported a lot of the time.

[1:23:55] Sometimes sometimes they tend to be the older kind of sillier ones, maybe Turkish Star Wars

[1:23:59] and things like that.

[1:24:00] Mm hmm.

[1:24:01] The the.

[1:24:02] Yeah, I guess.

[1:24:03] But maybe we'll start.

[1:24:04] OK.

[1:24:05] So I guess next next step.

[1:24:06] So we'll talk about a Serbian movie.

[1:24:07] I guess that's what we got.

[1:24:08] Yeah.

[1:24:09] I mean, yeah, I find there's I don't think there's anything keeping us from it.

[1:24:14] We just you know, like there there are more roadblocks.

[1:24:17] Yeah.

[1:24:18] You know what?

[1:24:19] Luckily, there's enough bad English language films coming out all the time.

[1:24:23] Yeah.

[1:24:24] I'm curious about this Russian movie, though.

[1:24:25] Now I want to.

[1:24:26] Yeah.

[1:24:27] I remember seeing the trailer and being like, what?

[1:24:30] This next letter breaks the the signature form to say that there are Kansan and Cali

[1:24:39] and they say, hey, hi, floppers.

[1:24:41] As a poet who was born and raised before we say anything, I'm going to say I approve

[1:24:45] of this.

[1:24:46] Everybody, you can start signing your letters in different ways if you want to.

[1:24:49] You don't always have to use your first name and last name withheld.

[1:24:51] If you want to be.

[1:24:52] I mean, be cheeky about it.

[1:24:53] Go ahead.

[1:24:54] I normally strip out the last day.

[1:24:55] So just what started doing that?

[1:24:58] Anyway.

[1:24:59] Sorry.

[1:25:00] Sorry.

[1:25:01] That was Gilly.

[1:25:02] Remember Gilly?

[1:25:03] Yeah.

[1:25:04] Gilly guys.

[1:25:05] Yeah.

[1:25:06] I remember Gilly well.

[1:25:07] Yeah.

[1:25:08] Gilly.

[1:25:09] OK.

[1:25:10] Oh, wait.

[1:25:12] This person writes, hi, floppers.

[1:25:14] As a poet who was born and raised in Topeka, I felt compelled to write in.

[1:25:18] Oh, finally, we'll get back to what this podcast is really about.

[1:25:21] People's thoughts about Topeka.

[1:25:23] Dan, it's OK not to like poetry.

[1:25:26] I'm barely judging you at all.

[1:25:28] As for Topeka, it's fine.

[1:25:31] Speaking of things which are fine, what's a perfectly average movie?

[1:25:38] The 2.5 out of 5 default movie, the Kansan and Cali.

[1:25:42] I know that in the past we joked that, ironically, Trouble with the Curve is a straight down the

[1:25:47] middle movie.

[1:25:48] I think that's a pretty good 2.5.

[1:25:50] That's still one of the first ones that came to mind when I was when I when I was hearing

[1:25:54] this question.

[1:25:55] Yeah.

[1:25:56] Trouble with the Curve is a real 2.5.

[1:25:57] I mean, I think that there was a certain period in Clint Eastwood's life when he was, you

[1:26:02] know, giving us a lot of perfect 2.5.

[1:26:05] Yeah.

[1:26:07] There's the one where he's like he's a reporter who has to get someone off death row.

[1:26:11] Was it Bloodwork?

[1:26:14] That's the other one.

[1:26:15] It's called like True Crime or something like that.

[1:26:16] And then Bloodwork came out at the same time.

[1:26:17] And those are both kind of like 2.5ers.

[1:26:19] Yeah.

[1:26:20] Absolute power.

[1:26:21] Yeah.

[1:26:22] Like, I want to say that a lot of like Jason Statham action movies are kind of 2.5s.

[1:26:27] Like they have high points, but they have low points and it kind of evens out.

[1:26:30] But I don't know if I'm going to totally commit to this decision.

[1:26:34] I was thinking about, you know, the movie One True Thing with Renee Zellweger and Meryl

[1:26:37] Streep, where it's like a family and the mom is sick.

[1:26:41] You should be making this up right now.

[1:26:43] Yeah.

[1:26:44] This is this is a real movie.

[1:26:45] But then I'm doing then it's exactly what I what I'm saying, because it's a total not

[1:26:48] a bad movie, not a particularly memorable movie.

[1:26:52] And it's just, yeah, if it's on, I could see watching it with your mom while you're visiting

[1:26:57] from out of town or something like that.

[1:26:59] That was the slogan.

[1:27:00] If it's on, watch it with your mom.

[1:27:03] Yeah, it was nominated for one Academy Award for Meryl Streep in it.

[1:27:08] But it's but it's one of those movies that are best Meryl Streep for best for best Streep.

[1:27:14] She lost.

[1:27:15] She lost to Carl Streep.

[1:27:16] Yeah.

[1:27:17] I mean, yeah, that's the thing.

[1:27:19] Like she's she's the goat, you know, like she's gonna she's gonna get she's gonna put

[1:27:24] up numbers.

[1:27:25] You're gonna get awards for she's great.

[1:27:27] Yeah.

[1:27:28] Yeah.

[1:27:29] I mean, it's one of those movies where you're like, this movie's not bad, but it's also

[1:27:30] not.

[1:27:31] It's it doesn't feel special.

[1:27:32] You know, that's a two point fiver.

[1:27:33] Here's here's my controversial take, guys.

[1:27:36] Would you call Batteries Not Included a two point five movie?

[1:27:39] Uh, yeah, I would.

[1:27:42] Like it was it was good enough that I would watch it sort of out of like this bizarre

[1:27:49] feeling of boredom and obligation when it was on when I was a kid.

[1:27:53] But I never actually seemed I don't feel like I enjoyed it that much.

[1:27:57] Another movie that like I watched a lot as a kid, always expecting it to be better was

[1:28:02] Brewster's Millions.

[1:28:03] Yeah.

[1:28:04] It was on all the time on cable constantly.

[1:28:08] And you're like, this has got to be funny.

[1:28:10] These are funny people who are in it.

[1:28:11] Yeah.

[1:28:12] It's got to be good.

[1:28:13] And you watch like, oh, all right.

[1:28:14] Yeah.

[1:28:15] It's not sort of wistful, I guess.

[1:28:16] Yeah.

[1:28:17] What about the toy?

[1:28:18] I'm not horrified by it.

[1:28:19] Yeah.

[1:28:20] It's also not like Silver Streak.

[1:28:21] You know, what about like Mom and Dad Save the World?

[1:28:23] Yeah.

[1:28:24] That's kind of a two point five movie.

[1:28:26] That's one of those movies where you look at it and you're like, that's almost too good.

[1:28:28] You're like, this is a lot.

[1:28:29] This is a lot of money to put in a movie that's this mediocre.

[1:28:32] You know, a lot of a lot of costumes for this.

[1:28:34] What about Spaced Invaders?

[1:28:36] Yeah.

[1:28:37] I feel like you can have a triple feature of batteries not included Spaced Invaders

[1:28:41] and Mom and Dad Save the World, which is the like, oh, OK, science fiction, happy or sad

[1:28:48] Space Invaders.

[1:28:49] That was when I was a kid.

[1:28:50] I really I loved that movie.

[1:28:51] But I think it was because I was just not used to seeing like science fiction comedies

[1:28:55] that were so science fiction heavy.

[1:28:57] I think I mean, I mean, I think of those movies, Space Invaders might be like edging into more

[1:29:04] just like good because I like a two point seven five.

[1:29:07] It's a great premise.

[1:29:08] But it's tough because I think it came out around the same time as Ernest Scared Stupid,

[1:29:13] which, of course, is the best Ernest movies, fucking rules.

[1:29:17] That's a scary movie.

[1:29:18] In the beginning.

[1:29:19] It was stupid.

[1:29:20] By the end, when they're just running around in a field to be chased by goblins and then

[1:29:23] chasing goblins, it kind of loses the narrative tautness that it has in the beginning.

[1:29:29] But.

[1:29:30] Sure.

[1:29:31] Well, I think we've talked about everything.

[1:29:32] Let's move on to recommendations of movies that probably would be more, more worthwhile

[1:29:39] use of your time than Spaced or Mom and Dad Save the World or because they can't.

[1:29:43] I mean, Space is a TV show.

[1:29:45] Oh, sorry.

[1:29:46] Sorry.

[1:29:47] Space Invaders.

[1:29:48] Space is a good show.

[1:29:49] Check that out.

[1:29:50] Yeah.

[1:29:51] I mean, I haven't seen that long time.

[1:29:52] Is there anything that doesn't age well in that?

[1:29:53] You know, you always got to, you know, there was it came from a specific time.

[1:29:57] It was important to us when we were at that age.

[1:29:59] You know, yeah.

[1:30:00] I mean I can you imagine how amazing it was back then when we saw a TV show more like they're making like science fiction

[1:30:05] And comic book jokes in this TV show. It seemed amazing

[1:30:10] Like using like cinematic references in the like filmmaking of the TV show, yeah

[1:30:18] Hey, let's do recommendation bad those guys never did anything else those guys face

[1:30:22] Yeah

[1:30:23] I'm gonna recommend a movie that I went to a screening of recently and as I was leaving

[1:30:29] Someone I don't like the either recognized me or heard my voice said you gonna recommend this on the podcast

[1:30:34] And so this is for you. I

[1:30:37] Was that Adams who said that to you? Yeah, that's right. Dan's getting cat called

[1:30:42] Hey, you're gonna recommend that on the podcast, sweetheart. That's what they said. Yep

[1:30:48] It's a movie called

[1:30:49] Dr. Caligari from 1989

[1:30:54] And it was directed by

[1:30:57] This direction. Let me look up the name. Actually, they made cafe flesh the

[1:31:04] sort of cult

[1:31:05] favorite pornographic film

[1:31:08] Steven

[1:31:09] Side sites. Yeah, I don't know how to say this Leslie beside deans. I say it Ian

[1:31:15] This is good content good stuff

[1:31:18] But it is a wild movie like it presents like it's going to be kind of a sexploitation movie

[1:31:25] but really doesn't have like

[1:31:27] ultimately that much

[1:31:29] Sex in it is just a lot of kind of just weirdness

[1:31:34] It describes a lot of sex to me

[1:31:38] The title obviously is referencing the cabinet of dr

[1:31:40] Caligari and the only thing it shares with that movie is like it's like in this put me in that cabinet, too

[1:31:46] And they wouldn't let me out those bully kids of mine

[1:31:49] mental institution

[1:31:51] And it is done in a style that evokes German expressionism

[1:31:55] but also kind of looks like when it was made 1989 it like

[1:31:59] feels like Peewee's playground trapper keeper sort of version of German expressionism and

[1:32:05] I don't know. It's just a lot made with a little it's a very striking looking

[1:32:10] movie that doesn't really have

[1:32:15] Much of a plot that you're gonna want to follow or care about but at the same time that doesn't matter maybe it's

[1:32:22] 20 minutes too long for a movie that doesn't offer

[1:32:26] Normal payoffs, but it's pretty amazing to look at and it's co-written by of course

[1:32:32] Jerry Stahl the famous heroine using Alfred

[1:32:38] So, there you go

[1:32:41] Dr. Caligari if you like weird stuff seek it out. We do we like weird stuff here in the flop house

[1:32:46] I'm gonna recommend a new movie

[1:32:50] Damn, Jerry Stahl also worked on bad boys, too. Let's not forget that. I don't want to put him in a box

[1:32:55] I just you know, I think he's not just a heroine using Alfred or he's also a former heroine using bad boys to writer

[1:33:01] Yeah, but that's that's not as weird

[1:33:05] Yeah, that's fair that's fair so I'm gonna recommend a new movie that's not

[1:33:10] To my knowledge written by her when using Alf writer

[1:33:13] This is all you know, he wrote about it in his memoir. I don't yeah, which is not made into a film

[1:33:19] Yeah, you're not

[1:33:22] You're not gossiping this isn't a non-blind thing that he brings up

[1:33:28] What Alf writer has become a huge heroine user Jerry Stahl, that's

[1:33:36] Recovered I think he's covered now

[1:33:38] Dan you come to my office. You're not supposed to name the people in the blind items

[1:33:42] Oh, yeah, I was supposed to name them and then blind them. No Dan. No, no, no

[1:33:45] No, you're supposed to it's you're supposed to pose a question

[1:33:49] What am I possibly use a picture of Haley Joel Osment or like Wallace Shawn or something?

[1:33:59] Yeah, you need to have like two pictures next to each other one is a young actress and the next is Wallace Shawn

[1:34:05] So they think that somehow heroin is morphed her into Wallace Shawn

[1:34:10] Okay, so I'm gonna recommend a new movie that's kind of about morphing. That's right. I watched the Iron Claw

[1:34:17] It's a little indie film about big old muscly boys

[1:34:23] It's a biopic about the Von Erich

[1:34:26] Wrestling family and it's got a lot of great actors in it. You got whole McClainy

[1:34:33] You got Jeremy Allen white and you got the biggest muscliest boy of them all that's right Zac Efron

[1:34:40] Putting in some big pounds there boy. He changed his body. He is so wide. He looks like a fucking barrel. I love it

[1:34:47] I can't get enough. Are you recommending the movie or just looking at a picture of him?

[1:34:51] I mean you could do both like maybe maybe to like screen and screen while you're watching it

[1:35:02] In it

[1:35:06] You have picture of him on your phone so you can hold it up to look at while the scenes he's not in are playing

[1:35:12] Boring. So this is a movie about a family of young wrestlers who are

[1:35:17] trying to like establish their name and trying to you know, make it in the big wrestling world and

[1:35:25] there while suffering under the yoke of a

[1:35:29] Let's say abusive father

[1:35:31] The performances are great. It's super sad

[1:35:33] I went into the movie

[1:35:35] Intentionally like not looking up anything about the family and then I looked it all up afterwards and I'm like, holy shit. This is horrible

[1:35:43] So if you want a really sad horrible true story that they've even like edited to make it less horrible

[1:35:49] And although I like the movie as a whole I do feel like the mood

[1:35:54] This is a little bit of a spoiler, I guess but at the end of the movie

[1:35:58] there is like some text on the screen that says like the Von Eriks were inducted into the

[1:36:03] WWE Hall of Fame and they're considered one of the wrestling great wrestling dynasties and I'm like

[1:36:08] What the fuck did the dad write this shit? Like that is not the message of the movie

[1:36:13] The message of the movie is all

[1:36:15] Great, and it's worth what it should have said. The end was the Von Eriks developed a thinking machine

[1:36:20] We know them now as computers. Yeah. Oh and I also forgot we got another we got more a tyranny in this movie

[1:36:25] We got another young hot boy Harris Dickinson. Oh, man, it's great

[1:36:29] Thumbs up thumbs up big old muscles and I got to find out how to find out how he got that wide

[1:36:35] You know, he's really big right man

[1:36:37] Yes, I was I was perturbed when you seem to want to look like him because to me he looks like

[1:36:44] If like he man was even like squashed

[1:36:49] Kid has been stepping on a lot. Oh

[1:36:52] Man I want to be a stepped on he-man. That's the thing Dan potty dysmorphia. You can't explain it. It just happens

[1:36:58] You can't control it. Yeah

[1:37:01] You can only get out of its way I guess now you just yeah, you got a role or see a therapist to real I mean

[1:37:13] I'm gonna recommend a movie that I think is gonna be a controversial one possibly

[1:37:16] I don't remember but I feel like I have a sense that you guys don't like this movie, but I don't know

[1:37:20] I haven't seen poor things yet

[1:37:22] And so but I want to catch up on my your ghost Lanthimos

[1:37:25] and so I finally got around to seeing the killing of a sacred deer which I had heard mixed things about and I knew people who

[1:37:32] Did not like it. And so I was like, all right, I'll watch this

[1:37:34] I bet I'm probably not gonna like it and I really liked it. It was exactly what I wanted

[1:37:38] I only saw it recently. So I I you know, you may have I'm not I'm not a huge fan

[1:37:44] I'm not a resident non your ghost fan. Stewart does not. I know you didn't like the lobster

[1:37:49] But the it is I found it to be genuinely very upsetting in a way that I liked

[1:37:55] But there are also parts that I found funny in a way where I was like, I shouldn't be laughing at this

[1:37:59] But this is pretty funny. And well, would he ask?

[1:38:04] Spoiler would he essentially asked the principal to rank his children? Yes

[1:38:09] Yeah

[1:38:11] He is he has found this level where Colin Farrell is the most pathetic man in the world both in this and in the lobster

[1:38:17] Yeah cannot understand how to interact with human beings or feel emotions

[1:38:21] But is but is a person is not like oh, it's not a weirdo and he's he managed to do in this movie

[1:38:27] But I in a way what I think leave the world behind was kind of trying to do which is to show you

[1:38:32] people who seem to be in a good position and kind of reveal that they are actually messes and how little

[1:38:39] Logical reason needs to be removed for a family to fall apart, you know

[1:38:43] How it's something inexplicable you got emotional bonds to introduce a little goblin like Barry Kagan

[1:38:50] All you need is a Barry Kagan

[1:38:53] It is a it's a movie that I'd recommend if you like this kind of movie because I think it's very good for this kind

[1:38:59] Of movie, but if you do not like this kind of movie, then don't see this movie

[1:39:03] But I was I was genuinely pleasantly surprised to see like, oh, I find this movie really affecting in an unpleasant way

[1:39:08] But in an unpleasant way that I liked because it's what I was looking for from a new orgos Lanthimos

[1:39:13] Yeah, I liked it fairly well as well. Yeah, and it's just really well made like there's I kept I felt bad

[1:39:19] I watched it not too long after we watched leave the world behind and I was like and leave the world behind

[1:39:22] There'll be nothing going on

[1:39:24] But the music will be creepy and it doesn't work in this

[1:39:26] You're just watching someone walk down a hallway and the music is creepy and it works for me

[1:39:30] And so maybe I just was not giving that movie the credit that I give to Lanthimos, but I don't know

[1:39:36] Yeah, but you also he has there he has a provocateur pedigree where you're like

[1:39:41] Yes, if I if I just let him linger on a scene he can throw something fucked up and won't care about it

[1:39:47] Yes, and on that he will pay it off. He is not gonna he's not gonna kill his sacred deer is what you will kill

[1:39:53] Is it that the same way that one of things I loved about Banshee is in a Sharon which also Colin Farrell is that that movie?

[1:40:00] Kagan. And Barry Kagan. Best buddies forever. It sets up a bad situation and then doesn't

[1:40:06] let the characters out of that situation. It plays it out to the worst end it can get

[1:40:10] to and this felt the same way to me and I was like, to see a movie where the characters

[1:40:14] have to squirm and they have to pay for this, you know, they're stuck in a bad situation

[1:40:18] and they can't get out, there's no clever way to solve it, was really, you know, I liked

[1:40:23] seeing because I like to see characters suffer I guess. No, I mean, if I had to psychoanalyze

[1:40:29] it like I think it's comforting to have a movie tell you the truth that like, you know,

[1:40:36] sometimes there is no easy way out, you know, rather than it always being, you know, I don't

[1:40:42] know, a softer ending. And as it's it's it plays into this kind of like ancient Greek

[1:40:47] idea of kind of cruel justice of the gods. And the older I get, the more I kind of find

[1:40:53] myself not wanting to see that in real life, but longing for the cruel justice of the gods

[1:40:58] to smite your enemies. Exactly. In the art that I see, I'm coming to appreciate more

[1:41:03] this idea that that justice and humanity are not necessarily on the same level that there's

[1:41:08] a that there's a the disconnect between human desires and the coldness of the universe and

[1:41:13] how to square that is something that I'm coming to want more and more in my media at the moment.

[1:41:18] So yeah, I don't know why perfect for like a family movie night or something to watch

[1:41:22] together. Check your brain at the door. Because if you can't censor if your senses can't process

[1:41:29] what you're seeing, it's gonna be that much less upsetting. Yeah. Remember to keep your

[1:41:34] claim check. Yeah, your brain. Exactly. Because I had that happen once I went to theater,

[1:41:39] I checked my brain. I lost the check. They gave me the wrong brain. And for like a week,

[1:41:43] I was an accountant. It's not an easy thing to figure out because you've got someone else's

[1:41:47] brain. So like, you I mean, they're basically like you look in the mirror. I mean,

[1:41:52] you're like, that's not the face that's supposed to go with my brain. And they gave my brain to

[1:41:59] Chris Pine. So my brain did not want to get moved. That was the thing. Yeah, we're supposed to. I got

[1:42:05] another guy's brain. Chris Pine got my brain. And when so we had to switch and my brain was

[1:42:09] literally like holding on with his tendrils to the inside of Chris Pine's. Oh, cool. You want

[1:42:13] to leave and come back to me, you know? Yeah. And the brain was like, I cannot be shoved in

[1:42:18] any more cabinets by Elliot's children. That was Chris Pine never gets shoved in a cabinet. No,

[1:42:22] he doesn't. No one puts Chris Pine in a cabinet. I mean, I've tried just to get. Yeah,

[1:42:29] just keep to yourself. How many people are drawing chalk drawings of Chris Pine on a sitting on a

[1:42:33] toilet and calling and making fun of his parts? Nobody. Nobody. Never happens. Oh, man. What

[1:42:41] is it? What's your life differs from that? That's the main way. That's the main way my

[1:42:45] life is different response. Yeah. So that was you in. Yeah. I bet his farts smell good. Ask your

[1:42:56] kids. I asked my kids. I don't know if they would know. I mean, I did tell I was I walked with Chris

[1:43:03] Pine on the picket line, not with him, but like we were on the same picket line and he had to walk

[1:43:06] around. He didn't fart while I was walking through him. So I don't I don't know if they

[1:43:09] smell good or not. Man, you should ask. Now, what surprising piece of style? Like what was

[1:43:15] he wearing? He was wearing he was wearing kind of boat shoes with kind of capricious pants that were

[1:43:20] loose at the bottom, not tight, but loose. But they were short, no socks and kind of an open

[1:43:25] and a buttoned down blue shirt open and sunglasses and like a sweater on top of that. That was like

[1:43:31] a grandma's cardigan that's unbuttoned. It looked like he was on vacation. It was over. I could see

[1:43:38] you wearing that outfit. Oh, man, I want it so bad. Oh, and aviator sunglasses. Those two. Yeah.

[1:43:44] Yeah, man. Yeah. Chris Pine. Oh, guys, it's been great. This is where I leave you and all of you

[1:43:54] for this episode of the Flophouse. We exist in large part because we have partnered with the

[1:44:02] Maximum Fun Network. You can find all their other podcasts at Maximum Fun dot org. Soon,

[1:44:10] the drive, the Max Fun Drive will be coming up. I hope that those who can would consider supporting

[1:44:17] the continued existence of the show by paying us. But we'll talk about that later. For now,

[1:44:25] just see see those other shows. Like I said, check it out. Thank you to Alex Smith,

[1:44:31] our producer. He goes by the name Howell Dottie on all the various socials and such.

[1:44:39] MySpace, Friendster. I don't know. I just, you know, I, you know, I realized I was steering

[1:44:45] into talking about a certain website that now I hate. So I steered away. If you have the time,

[1:44:53] Dr. Skin, Medicine Pervert. But anyway, you're saying look, look,

[1:45:11] dermatologist. Yeah, that's true. That's a fair point. Yeah. Why do I have to be fully nude for

[1:45:17] this dermatology appointment? That's the way Dr. Skin works. Anyway, what were we talking about?

[1:45:24] Oh, we're signing off. Point is, you know, if you like the show and why wouldn't you really

[1:45:29] give us a good review over at iTunes. But for the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy and I'm soon to be

[1:45:40] in Australia. Stuart Wellington and I'm soon to be pushed into a cabinet by a five year old and a

[1:45:46] 10 year old Elliot Kalin saying don't stop. Stop putting me in that cabinet. Bye. Yeah, let's burn

[1:45:58] all our bridges. But not Jeff Bridges. He's the national treasure. Yeah, exactly. Although imagine

[1:46:04] how good he would be at acting that he's on fire. Oh, amazing. Derange this man. Whoa. And you're

[1:46:13] only doing one of his characters. Yeah, I mean, that's I think that's pretty close to the real

[1:46:17] man at this point. Yeah. Yeah. The you mean the old man on AMC? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think if I'm

[1:46:25] looking at Jeff Bridges, I don't think I watched one episode of that. I don't think I enjoyed it.

[1:46:28] And then I forgot to return to it. Yes. That happens shows. Yeah. Hey, you know, it's great.

[1:46:33] A show where you don't need to worry about that because it's just a pleasant show. You turn on

[1:46:37] whenever you don't have to. You don't have to watch all the episodes, you know, it's called the

[1:46:41] floppers. Maximum Fun, a worker owned network of artists owned shows supported directly by you.

Ep.#414 - Kangaroo Jack

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