Jurassic World: Rebirth

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode we discuss Jurassic World Rebirth.

Elliott Kalan

[0:04] The dinosaur movie for people who don't give a shit about dinosaurs.

Dan McCoy

[0:30] Hey everyone and welcome to The Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:32] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:34] Whoa, you surprised me.

Elliott Kalan

[0:37] I'm Elliot Kalin, worried about Stuart Wellington.

[0:39] I think it's time to give him one of those cognitive tests that the president keeps pacing.

Dan McCoy

[0:42] Honestly, we talked so much before the show started rolling that I think that by the time it's happened, Stuart was like, oh wait, okay, this is different.

[0:51] I gotta think of my cue.

[0:52] Yeah, I thought we had done the show already.

[0:53] Yeah.

[0:55] He was already on his way home.

[0:56] He was riding his bicycle.

Stuart Wellington

[0:59] In my head I'm like, so I gotta pick up eggs, bread.

[1:05] More eggs.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06] Bananas.

[1:06] Someone's making French toast.

[1:08] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:09] Ooh la la.

[1:10] Okay, well, on this podcast we watch a bad movie and talk about it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14] Yeah, because French toast is toast with tongue, Dan.

[1:15] That's what it is, Dan.

[1:18] You watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

Dan McCoy

[1:20] Yeah, a film that perhaps audiences or critics rejected or both and then we see what we have to say about it.

[1:26] We are the final judges.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:29] Only us can judge.

[1:31] Sorry, go on.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32] This episode, audiences did not reject it.

[1:35] It made a lot of money.

[1:36] Yeah.

[1:36] So it was not a financial flop.

[1:37] It was the fifth highest grossing film of 2025.

[1:40] Even though when I mentioned it to somebody recently, they said, there was another Jurassic Park movie?

[1:44] Huh?

Dan McCoy

[1:44] That honestly fucking shocks me.

[1:47] Like, this movie feels like it was just, it just disappeared into the ether.

[1:52] I can understand, I guess, like, people being like, oh, I still like Jurassic Park.

[1:58] I'm tired of, like, the Chris Pratt arc of it.

[2:02] So maybe seeing Scar Jo up there on the screen and dinosaurs are like, yeah, I'll give it a shot.

[2:08] But beyond that, like, that's, I find that very confusing just because it's been diminishing returns for decades now.

Stuart Wellington

[2:15] Well, did it make less money than the last one?

[2:18] Good question.

[2:18] I think it might have made more, but I'm not sure.

Elliott Kalan

[2:21] Let's look up according to Wikipedia whether it did.

[2:23] But this was also, I have to imagine, I didn't get to go to the theaters this much this year.

[2:27] This seems like a year of very few movies, to be honest.

[2:29] I feel like, I'm looking at the top 10 movies of 2025, highest grossing according to Wikipedia.

[2:34] And F1 is number eight.

[2:35] F1 did better than I thought.

[2:37] But, like, that's a surprise to me that F1 did so well.

[2:39] What, that dads go to movies?

[2:41] Dads don't get to go to movies, if I'm any indication.

Dan McCoy

[2:44] Yeah.

[2:44] Well, I mean, we've talked about it before.

[2:46] I don't want to get into too much bitterness.

[2:48] But it feels like the entertainment industry in that way is in, like, this weird death spiral where they're like, I don't know.

[2:54] Things aren't doing well.

[2:55] What we should do is make less stuff.

[2:56] And it's like, well, that's going to make it worse, guys.

[3:00] Yeah.

[3:00] You've got to, like, recommit to actually doing new things and a lot of them.

Elliott Kalan

[3:05] This and the, so it made less money than the last one.

[3:08] I didn't realize.

[3:09] So this says that, according to Wikipedia, Jurassic World Dominion made over a billion dollars.

[3:13] Holy shit.

[3:14] Worldwide.

[3:15] Which, I mean, the budget.

Stuart Wellington

[3:17] Dinosaur Park with that kind of money.

Elliott Kalan

[3:18] I mean, the budget was $465 million.

[3:21] So it's possible that movie barely broke even, you know, with it making a billion dollars.

[3:26] But that's according to Wikipedia.

[3:27] But also the top, like, of the top five movies of the year, according to Wikipedia, Jurassic World is the only one that's not a family film.

[3:36] A family or children's film.

[3:37] So that shows you, like, kind of what, why people are going to the movies, which is that you've got to do something with those kids.

Stuart Wellington

[3:42] You know, you've got to find something to do with them for a couple hours.

Elliott Kalan

[3:45] Anyway, that was what I call the Caitlin Box Office Report.

[3:48] Now it's back to Dan McCoy.

[3:49] Anything good in that Box Office Report?

Stuart Wellington

[3:51] Anything good in the, anything above it in, anything good on that list?

[3:55] Anything that you've seen that you're like, that's a good movie?

Elliott Kalan

[3:58] Ironically, the only movies I see in the theaters now are movies I take my kids to.

[4:01] So I saw three out of the five.

[4:03] So like Sinners and.

[4:04] Yeah, yeah, Sinners.

[4:05] Exactly, yeah.

[4:07] The, yeah, yeah, Eddington.

[4:09] But the, it looks like number one is a Chinese movie I'm not familiar with, Nuzha 2.

[4:16] Then there's Lilo and Stitch, the live action remake, and Zootopia 2.

[4:20] And then a Minecraft movie.

[4:21] The top four.

[4:22] And then Jurassic Park.

[4:23] So you saw at least the, you saw the Minecraft one, right?

[4:26] I saw Lilo and Stitch.

[4:27] I saw a Minecraft movie and I saw Zootopia 2.

Stuart Wellington

[4:29] Oh, okay.

[4:30] Or Two-topia, as it should have been called.

[4:31] Two-topia, yeah.

[4:32] Or Zootopia.

[4:33] Zootopia, I think, makes more sense because it keeps the zoo in the title.

[4:38] That's true, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[4:38] Two-topia makes you think that it's a world of twos.

[4:40] Yeah, living twos.

Dan McCoy

[4:42] Yeah, good point.

[4:43] Yeah, sorry.

[4:43] As Elliot mentioned, I wandered away for a second.

[4:45] I realized that the computer was not plugged in, which could cause issues later on down the line.

[4:51] Yeah, probably.

Elliott Kalan

[4:52] It was a race against time.

Dan McCoy

[4:54] But let's get into, now that we've talked about the box office,

[4:57] the most important thing, of course, in today's society.

Elliott Kalan

[5:00] Well, no, but it's just surprising that, so the first Jurassic Park, we've talked about it before.

[5:04] Yeah.

[5:04] It was the biggest movie in the world.

[5:06] It was one of the biggest movies of all time.

[5:07] It was so magical.

[5:08] It had such a big impact, I think, on all of us, certainly on me, but also on culture in general.

[5:13] And it's amazing.

[5:14] And this is something that other people have said a million times.

[5:17] It's the thing you talk about with Avatar, that, like, this movie was a big hit, but I don't know.

[5:23] Like, nobody I know talks about it, thinks about it, has mentioned it.

[5:26] You know, it's just not something that's on people's minds, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[5:28] Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to dog on Jimmy C over here, but the first Jurassic Park—

[5:34] Jimmy Carter?

[5:36] Yeah, that's who I—yeah, Jimmy Carter, director of Avatar.

[5:41] I mean, I bet, you know, there's a chance Jimmy Carter saw Avatar, guys, and I bet he would like it.

[5:46] There is a chance he saw Avatar, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[5:49] But what I'm saying is that—

[5:50] I sympathize with that message of environmentalism.

[5:53] Yeah, exactly.

Stuart Wellington

[5:54] If only I could be put into a Navi body.

[5:58] To live again.

[5:59] To stick my ponytail into another flying alien.

[6:03] To make love to a tree or something.

[6:05] Do they grow peanuts on other planets?

[6:07] I'd like to find out.

[6:09] But what I'm saying is that having recently rewatched the original Jurassic Park, like,

[6:14] the effects still hold up.

Dan McCoy

[6:17] Like, it's great.

[6:18] By the way, I can't remember whether I told this story on the podcast or just to you guys privately.

[6:23] But I want to—

[6:23] Tell it again?

[6:24] Mention it again, which was that, like, originally, like,

[6:28] I started watching this movie on Peacock before we were going to do it for the show.

[6:33] And then I, like, stopped because I'm like, why am I doing this?

[6:35] Like, we should—if I'm going to watch this thing, I should be watching it for the show.

[6:39] I'm not going to enjoy it.

[6:40] You want to get paid for it, yeah.

[6:43] But I thought I was watching it, and I—because I saw that it was on Peacock,

[6:48] and I'm like, yeah, Jurassic Park.

[6:49] I, like, clicked on it because it had been up front.

[6:52] And the first scene started, and I'm like, wow.

[6:55] Wow, this is doing a really good pastiche of Spielberg.

[6:58] Like, a really—whoever, you know, like, they did a good job.

[7:02] And then I realized, like, oh, no, like, because they had this movie on Peacock,

[7:07] they had also added all the other Jurassic Parks,

[7:09] and I had accidentally clicked on the first one and forgotten that that begins with the scene

[7:14] where they're, like, loading up a dino in the crate and whatever.

[7:18] But this movie is the first scene.

Elliott Kalan

[7:21] You're like, Sam Neill is looking great.

[7:24] He looks like he looked in 1993.

Dan McCoy

[7:26] Yeah, it was when Sam Neill showed up that I'm like, oh, oh, oh.

Elliott Kalan

[7:30] It wasn't when the title Jurassic Park came up on screen?

Dan McCoy

[7:33] Did that happen beforehand?

[7:34] I can't remember.

[7:35] I don't remember.

[7:35] Maybe it didn't.

[7:36] Anyway, this movie, less, you know, skillful in its filmmaking, perhaps.

[7:44] What?

[7:45] Let's get into the details.

Elliott Kalan

[7:46] I mean, it is no harsh words to say perhaps less skillful than Steven Spielberg,

[7:52] one of the greatest filmmakers of all time, you know?

Dan McCoy

[7:54] Yeah, I mean, like, this is a movie, not to, like, tip Final Tres was too early,

[7:59] where, like, a lot of talented people are involved.

[8:02] I don't necessarily blame any of them.

[8:05] It's like, I don't necessarily blame the director, screenwriter, actors,

[8:10] because they've done good work before, and I presume will do good work in the future.

[8:14] It's a thing where I blame the system.

Elliott Kalan

[8:17] The larger question, maybe this is where you're going, but I know.

[8:20] The larger question is, do we need any more Jurassic Park movies?

[8:23] Yes.

[8:24] And I feel like that's where the answer is potentially no,

[8:27] and they did the incorrect answer, which is yes.

[8:30] And then through no fault of their own, you know, everyone was trying hard in this movie.

[8:33] But anyway, you'll use things like that.

Dan McCoy

[8:34] And I also feel like, in this modern world, like, the way blockbusters are made,

[8:38] no one gets the time to actually, like,

[8:42] like, seriously do the pre-production work that's necessary,

[8:46] like, the planning out, like,

[8:48] like, people are like, oh, we've got, you know, digital cameras,

[8:50] we can just cover everything and cut it together however it doesn't matter.

[8:54] Like, I feel like the whole process is not built for smartly made blockbusters anymore.

Stuart Wellington

[9:02] And I would imagine that the role of director in something like this is more like managing the circus

[9:07] rather than actually making a movie.

[9:09] Like, the making a movie is less like making a film and more like,

[9:14] how do I navigate all the bullshit that has to go into making this mega movie?

Dan McCoy

[9:19] Yeah, I mean, well, I'm sure they have less creative control than they might like.

[9:23] What?

[9:24] Anyway.

[9:25] So, the movie starts.

[9:27] Oh.

[9:28] 2008.

Elliott Kalan

[9:28] Well, that's nice.

[9:29] I mean, it's off to a good beginning.

[9:32] Some movies never start, you know.

Dan McCoy

[9:34] Yeah, like...

[9:36] The Day the Clown Cried.

[9:37] The Schmeal Borgs?

[9:39] That movie never started.

[9:40] I just made it up.

[9:42] Never started at all.

[9:43] Yeah.

[9:44] So, we're in some...

Elliott Kalan

[9:46] Invasion of the Cat Police?

[9:49] Again, never started.

[9:50] Not a real movie.

Dan McCoy

[9:51] It's a real shame because that sounds great.

[9:52] Sounds great.

Elliott Kalan

[9:53] I'd love to see that.

[9:54] All those little kitty cats in those little police uniforms?

Stuart Wellington

[9:55] Yeah, yeah.

[9:56] Oh, that's the kind of what we're talking about.

[9:58] I thought it was people that police the cats.

[10:02] Don't poop there.

[10:03] Oh, little Tabby, you've got to get back in your cage.

Elliott Kalan

[10:08] Half a half.

[10:09] All right.

[10:10] Nothing to see here.

[10:10] Just a bit of couch.

Dan McCoy

[10:14] Leave that poor bird alone.

[10:17] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[10:18] I believe the sofa's got the message.

[10:20] Put the claws away.

[10:25] There will be a place for what you're doing,

[10:28] and it's called the litter box.

[10:29] Let's get moving to it, Tabby.

[10:31] Okay.

[10:32] Now, I like this version of it more, Stuart,

[10:33] where they're tiny cops, tiny Irish cops

[10:35] that just make sure cats follow the rules.

Dan McCoy

[10:39] And, you know,

[10:40] herding cats, famously difficult.

[10:42] So, a lot of alcoholism in the cat movies.

Elliott Kalan

[10:46] It's very difficult.

[10:47] Very difficult posting, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[10:49] Yeah, because they're little,

[10:50] and like a thimble full of alcohol will fuck them up.

[10:53] Yeah, that's the point.

Elliott Kalan

[10:59] Super easy to overdo it.

[11:00] To be honest, why didn't they make this movie?

[11:03] Guys, I don't understand.

Dan McCoy

[11:04] That's the family of Hollywood.

[11:06] Just like Jurassic Park.

Stuart Wellington

[11:08] You like fucking Domhnall Gleeson to be one of the cops?

[11:10] He looks like Donald.

[11:11] Of course.

[11:11] Sorry, Domhnall.

[11:12] I don't know.

[11:13] It's funnier to say it, Domhnall.

Elliott Kalan

[11:16] Stuart, you used to just proudly mispronounce people's names all the time.

[11:19] You've changed, man.

Dan McCoy

[11:21] I know.

[11:22] So, yeah, back in 2008,

[11:24] we're at some engine facility devoted to genetically modified dinos.

[11:29] And security fails there because of a really dumb accident with a candy wrapper.

Elliott Kalan

[11:34] I like the final destination-ness of it.

[11:37] It is very final destination-ness.

[11:38] I will say this.

[11:39] This is the first of the hint of what is one of the themes of this movie,

[11:42] which is that people are tired of dinosaurs,

[11:45] which is such bullshit.

[11:47] I had so much trouble.

[11:48] They're like, as you'll see,

[11:49] they're like, we're shutting down the dinosaur museum.

[11:52] Dinosaur aren't special anymore.

[11:53] And I'm like, have you been to a zoo?

[11:55] It's the same fucking animals we've been seeing for hundreds of years.

[11:58] People still love them.

[11:59] People don't care.

Dan McCoy

[12:01] To borrow a critique from,

[12:03] Griffin and Blankcheck was talking about this.

[12:05] Don't start a movie by being like,

[12:08] hey, this thing is boring.

Elliott Kalan

[12:09] The thing that you like that you're seeing the movie about,

[12:12] it's stupid and people don't like it.

[12:14] It's dumb and boring.

Dan McCoy

[12:15] It's like, why am I supposed to care about a movie

[12:17] if you're telling me that it's shit?

[12:18] Like, what the?

[12:19] Like, I feel like it is supposed to be this, like,

[12:21] meta-commentary on, like,

[12:24] oh, like, Jurassic Park movies aren't special anymore.

[12:26] And it's like, well, yeah,

[12:27] well, then don't make the goddamn movie.

[12:29] What the fuck?

Stuart Wellington

[12:29] Well, it's like in the third Mummy movie

[12:31] when the brother of, you know,

[12:33] everybody is like, sick of mummies.

[12:36] He's like, mummies show up.

[12:37] He's like, oh, mummies again.

Dan McCoy

[12:39] I hate these guys.

Elliott Kalan

[12:40] I like that you described him as the brother of everybody,

[12:41] which he is.

[12:42] We're all brothers and sisters in this human race,

[12:44] in the human family.

Stuart Wellington

[12:46] He's Rachel Weisz's brother,

[12:48] but then he's the brother-in-law to Brendan Fraser.

[12:52] That's true.

Dan McCoy

[12:54] Got a Rachel Weisz Weisz.

Stuart Wellington

[12:56] Oh, I guess it's not Rachel Weisz, though.

[12:58] Is it Kate Beckinsale?

[13:00] It's Kate Beckinsale.

Dan McCoy

[13:01] Yeah, right.

[13:03] Oh, I'm sorry.

Stuart Wellington

[13:04] It's been a long time since I've tried to explore

[13:06] with the Dragon Emperor's tomb.

Dan McCoy

[13:08] You can apologize to us.

[13:09] We should really be apologizing to Kate Beckinsale.

[13:11] Yeah.

[13:12] Yeah, I mean, she's great.

[13:14] So anyway, the security fails because of a candy wrapper.

[13:19] And I'm like, this is bad security

[13:20] if this one candy wrapper can do it.

[13:23] But anyway, a guy gets eaten by a dino,

[13:26] a big monster, a mutant dino.

[13:28] Yeah, the D-Rex.

Elliott Kalan

[13:28] This is the D-Rex, which is, we'll see it more later.

[13:31] And it's basically they made a Rancor.

[13:33] Like, at this point, they're like,

[13:34] we're not even trying to make them like dinosaurs.

[13:36] They're just Rancors.

Dan McCoy

[13:36] I think it kind of looked like a xenomorph dinosaur

[13:39] because it had that big, like, bulbous head.

[13:42] Yeah, like a dome head.

Elliott Kalan

[13:43] No one else has, like, a big bulbous head like that?

[13:45] A Rancor.

Dan McCoy

[13:45] But yeah, Dan, you're right.

[13:46] I think this is more like a squat sort of, like, snub head.

[13:50] It would have been really cool

Stuart Wellington

[13:51] if there were, like, Gamorrean guards as well.

[13:53] If they had, like, if they had, like,

[13:55] if they're already fucking DNA fooling, you know?

Elliott Kalan

[13:58] Like, kids are tired of dinosaurs.

[14:00] We're just remaking all the creatures

[14:01] from the Jabba sequence in Return of the Jedi.

[14:03] And then I can finally have a salacious crumb.

[14:05] This would be great.

Stuart Wellington

[14:06] Well, like, I like the idea that they're like,

[14:07] yeah, so the dinos ain't working,

[14:09] ain't paying all the bills.

[14:11] So we also need to be genetically modifying things

[14:13] to look like Star Wars crap for Disney World or whatever.

Elliott Kalan

[14:16] We got a pig.

[14:17] We turned it into a Gamorrean guard.

[14:18] We can't get them to be green.

[14:19] That's the problem.

[14:20] We can't crack that nut.

Stuart Wellington

[14:21] You paint them.

[14:22] It's fine.

Elliott Kalan

[14:23] It's fine.

[14:24] They just, they lick the paint off

[14:25] because, again, they're pigs.

[14:26] They're not, we have,

[14:27] it's hard to get them to hold an axe

[14:29] because, you know,

[14:29] they're not tool using animals, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[14:31] You tape it to their hands.

[14:33] Or hooves.

[14:35] Upper hooves.

[14:37] Anyway, after this axe.

Elliott Kalan

[14:38] We are the guys who are bringing out,

[14:39] we're showing the executives

[14:41] what we've been able to do so far

[14:43] with the Gamorrean guard project.

[14:45] And they're like,

[14:45] all right,

[14:46] I like that it's a pig on two legs.

[14:48] Here are my criticisms.

[14:50] Wrong color.

[14:51] It's easy to tell the axe is taped to his upper hoof.

[14:54] Yeah, we're working on that.

[14:55] We're working on that.

Stuart Wellington

[14:55] And actually,

[14:56] I think audiences will appreciate

[14:58] that they can see the seams, you know?

[15:01] That they can tell that it's kind of lo-fi.

[15:03] It makes it feel more real, you know?

Dan McCoy

[15:06] After this accident,

[15:07] we flash forward to 2025.

[15:09] This is all, of course,

[15:10] in the same mainline continuity.

[15:13] Of course.

Dan McCoy

[15:13] Did you guys see the last one?

Elliott Kalan

[15:14] Did you see the last one?

[15:15] I didn't see the last one.

[15:16] I never saw it.

[15:17] I kind of wanted to

[15:17] because it had the returning cast,

[15:19] but I never actually saw it.

Dan McCoy

[15:20] We didn't do that for the show?

Elliott Kalan

[15:22] No, we did the middle one.

Stuart Wellington

[15:23] Oh, okay.

[15:24] And I didn't see the one before that,

[15:25] so I feel like I'm just,

[15:27] I'm out to sea here.

[15:29] Here's what you need to know.

Elliott Kalan

[15:30] There was a dinosaur theme park

[15:31] and it went wrong.

[15:32] No, but it like,

[15:33] didn't like the dinos get out

[15:34] and like spread around the planet

[15:36] for a minute?

[15:37] the dinosaurs got out

[15:38] and they're everywhere.

[15:39] And now this movie starts,

[15:40] the dinosaurs are dying off.

Stuart Wellington

[15:41] And they're like getting fucking jobs and shit

[15:42] and having to go to work.

Elliott Kalan

[15:44] Yeah.

[15:46] It's the money for nothing video,

[15:47] but with dinosaurs.

[15:48] Oh, I got to move these microwave ovens.

Dan McCoy

[15:50] Pterodactyls of,

[15:51] of,

[15:51] you know,

[15:51] turntable now.

[15:53] And,

[15:53] uh,

Elliott Kalan

[15:54] cool.

[15:54] Yeah.

[15:54] I like it.

[15:55] Yeah.

[15:55] It's a living.

[15:56] Yeah.

[15:56] Et cetera.

[15:57] Yeah.

[15:57] Well,

[15:57] the pterodactyl would be the needle,

[15:59] right?

Dan McCoy

[15:59] Yeah,

[15:59] exactly.

[16:01] Um,

[16:01] so,

[16:02] uh,

[16:03] yeah,

[16:03] we're in the same continuity

[16:05] and the earth's climate has proved

[16:07] climate.

[16:08] Climate has worked.

Elliott Kalan

[16:09] I was going to let it go.

[16:10] I was going to let it go,

[16:11] but I'm glad you called it out

[16:12] that it is the climate.

[16:13] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[16:14] It's proved inhospitable for these dinos.

[16:16] So most of them are,

[16:17] you know,

[16:18] around equatorial regions,

[16:20] uh,

[16:21] where people aren't allowed to go.

[16:22] And like you said,

[16:23] everyone's bored of the dinos,

[16:25] which is represented by,

[16:26] we see,

[16:27] uh,

[16:28] pharma representative Martin Krebs,

[16:30] played by Rupert Friend,

[16:32] being bored by a traffic jam in Brooklyn

[16:34] where there's like a brontosaurus.

[16:36] Caused by like the last living brontosaurus

Stuart Wellington

[16:39] in Captivia.

[16:41] Yeah.

[16:41] The last living brontosaurus in New York.

Elliott Kalan

[16:43] Ah.

[16:45] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[16:46] And he's like,

[16:46] ho hum.

[16:49] Um,

[16:49] which is,

Elliott Kalan

[16:50] which as,

[16:50] as the,

[16:51] as the creator of Maniac of New York,

[16:53] I kind of like that idea.

[16:54] Yeah.

[16:54] People are like,

[16:55] it's just a part of everyday life.

[16:56] I don't like the idea.

[16:57] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[16:57] I expected some kids to be show timing off of it.

[17:00] That would have been great.

Elliott Kalan

[17:02] They're tagging the side of this poor dinosaur.

[17:05] Oh.

Dan McCoy

[17:05] Mm-hmm.

[17:06] Sliding down his back.

[17:07] Uh,

[17:08] he meets with his,

Elliott Kalan

[17:08] because they just,

[17:09] the,

[17:10] the,

[17:10] the whistle got pulled at work.

[17:11] So they're sliding down his back

[17:12] to get into their car.

[17:13] Yeah.

[17:13] It's all Flintstones,

[17:14] Dan.

[17:15] You need another cultural touchstone

[17:16] for dinosaurs other than the Flintstones.

[17:18] Well,

[17:18] I mean.

[17:18] For dinos and humans living together.

[17:20] I mean,

Stuart Wellington

[17:20] that's the.

[17:21] If you need DNA fooling with dinosaurs,

[17:24] why don't they try and make like Fred Flintstones

[17:26] and shit too for.

[17:26] So here's the,

[17:27] here's the thing.

[17:28] Fred Flintstone is just a,

Elliott Kalan

[17:29] he's just a person.

[17:30] Anyone can make a Fred Flintstone

[17:31] if you have a son.

Dan McCoy

[17:33] Yes.

[17:34] Just dress him in a,

[17:35] in a pelt.

[17:36] I mean,

[17:36] Hollywood made a Fred Flintstone.

[17:38] His body's shaped pretty wild though,

[17:39] right?

Dan McCoy

[17:39] His name is John Goodman

[17:40] in the Flintstones.

[17:41] His body is pretty rectangular.

Elliott Kalan

[17:43] And his head takes up a huge amount

[17:44] of his,

[17:45] of his general silhouette.

[17:46] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[17:47] It's just sort of like one third.

[17:49] Yeah.

[17:50] I mean,

Stuart Wellington

[17:50] cause the thing is you could just put a person,

[17:52] but like people want it to look like the cartoon,

[17:54] right?

[17:55] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[17:55] Yeah.

[17:55] That's what people want.

[17:56] They want genetically modified things from the past

[17:59] to look like the cartoon.

Elliott Kalan

[18:00] That's right.

[18:01] I think we talked,

[18:01] we may be talking about this before.

[18:02] Every time I go on YouTube to listen to music,

[18:04] cause I like to,

[18:05] I,

[18:05] YouTube has been great for me for discovering music

[18:07] that I never would have known about before.

[18:08] It's bad for everything else.

[18:10] It wants me to watch videos people have made

[18:12] where they use AI to create,

[18:15] here's what this cartoon character would look like

[18:16] in real life.

[18:17] And there's one for the Flintstones that keeps coming up.

[18:19] And the thing I think is funny is that

[18:20] the male characters is like,

[18:22] yeah,

[18:22] that's,

[18:22] that's pretty all right.

[18:23] The female characters are always way bustier

[18:25] and way and show way more cleavage.

[18:27] And I'm like,

[18:27] I don't remember Betty Rubble with cleavage.

[18:30] Like this doesn't seem right,

[18:31] but it's very funny that,

[18:32] it's really showing you who's making these.

[18:34] Yeah.

[18:34] What they want out of them.

[18:36] Or rather,

[18:37] who's telling the computer to make these.

Dan McCoy

[18:39] Yeah.

[18:39] So this,

[18:39] this farming guy meets with Zora Bennett,

[18:41] who is played by Scarlett Johansson.

Stuart Wellington

[18:44] If you're going to have horny Flintstones characters,

[18:46] I want a human hand to create everything.

[18:49] Yeah,

[18:49] exactly.

[18:50] I want their individual hangups and kinks to inform every line.

Dan McCoy

[18:55] The horniness of the artist has to come through.

Stuart Wellington

[18:58] So we got Scarlett Johansson.

[19:00] Now she is arguably one of the most bankable action stars in the world.

[19:06] Right?

[19:06] Like she's been in so many huge movies.

Elliott Kalan

[19:09] I mean,

[19:09] if you count the Avengers movies in there,

[19:11] I guess.

Stuart Wellington

[19:12] I do.

[19:12] Yeah.

[19:13] I don't know if I would say,

Elliott Kalan

[19:14] outside of that,

[19:16] I don't know if I necessarily,

[19:18] if people think of her as like an action star necessarily.

[19:21] She's a great actress,

[19:22] you know,

Stuart Wellington

[19:23] but maybe I'm wrong.

[19:25] I do.

[19:25] I think,

[19:26] I mean,

[19:26] I would say a jack of all trades.

[19:28] I mean,

[19:29] like,

[19:29] yeah,

[19:29] she,

[19:29] you know,

[19:29] well,

Elliott Kalan

[19:29] she is the ScarJo of all trades.

[19:31] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[19:32] She has a great range.

[19:33] She can do all kinds of different things,

[19:35] but I,

[19:36] yeah,

[19:36] I'm with Elliot.

[19:37] I wouldn't be like,

[19:37] oh,

[19:38] you know,

[19:38] like bankable action star,

[19:39] but like she can headline a blockbuster for sure.

[19:41] Yes,

[19:41] for sure.

Elliott Kalan

[19:42] And she's certainly very good in an action scene.

[19:43] She's really good at it.

[19:45] But I,

[19:45] but the,

[19:45] I think the issue she,

[19:47] so she's playing a character who is a mercenary,

[19:49] also a nice,

[19:50] friendly mercenary.

[19:51] Yeah.

[19:51] With a heart of gold who never has to learn a lesson because she's already a sweet person.

[19:56] And I had a lot of trouble buying the character of the sweet,

[19:59] loving mercenary.

Stuart Wellington

[20:00] Yeah.

[20:01] I mean,

[20:01] no characters have any traits in this.

[20:04] No,

[20:05] that's not true.

Elliott Kalan

[20:05] The Rupert friend character is an evil.

[20:07] He's basically Paul Reiser in aliens.

[20:09] He's just an evil greedy guy.

[20:10] He's not as bad.

[20:11] Yeah.

[20:11] Well,

Dan McCoy

[20:12] I read some review that pointed out that if any character has some sort of tragic backstory,

[20:18] they survive.

[20:20] And any character that doesn't have one gets eaten.

[20:23] Yes.

[20:23] I mean,

[20:23] the characters,

Elliott Kalan

[20:24] this movie is not hiding the ball at all over which characters are going to get eaten and

[20:28] which ones are not.

[20:28] Like the cannon fodder,

[20:30] they might as well just walk up and go,

[20:31] don't bother learning anything about me.

[20:33] You won't have to.

[20:34] I'm going to get eaten by a dinosaur.

[20:35] Oh,

Dan McCoy

[20:35] Elliot,

[20:36] it's like you've anticipated my notes here.

Elliott Kalan

[20:39] Okay.

[20:39] Well,

[20:40] so let's talk about,

[20:40] so Scarlett Johansson,

[20:41] they meet in a car.

Dan McCoy

[20:42] Yeah.

[20:43] They meet in the car.

[20:44] He wants her to go to the Jurassic Park zone to retrieve dino material that could help with

[20:49] heart disease.

[20:52] Somehow.

[20:52] Lost a friend.

[20:54] Big of their biggest hearts,

[20:55] dude.

[20:55] Yeah.

[20:56] Well,

[20:56] we'll get it.

[20:57] They lost a friend.

[20:58] She lost a friend on her last job,

[21:00] you know,

[21:00] part of her boring backstory,

[21:02] but is convinced by the money.

[21:04] She's got offered a lot of money.

[21:05] So they go to meet paleontologist Henry Loomis,

[21:08] played by people's sexiest man alive,

[21:10] Jonathan Bailey.

[21:11] Yes.

[21:11] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[21:11] You got,

[21:11] you got a problem right off the bat.

[21:13] Maybe it's a fun thing.

[21:14] When you have a character named Dr.

[21:15] Loomis in your movie,

[21:16] I'm going to assume he's related to Donald Pleasence's character from Halloween.

[21:21] So every time they went Loomis,

[21:22] I was like,

[21:22] is Michael Myers on the run with the Jurassic Park dinosaurs?

[21:24] Yeah.

[21:25] Which would have been great.

[21:25] I would have loved it.

Dan McCoy

[21:26] I assumed that this was like a tip of the cap,

[21:29] but like,

[21:30] it's a weird one.

[21:31] It's like,

[21:32] why are you tipping your cap to Dr.

[21:33] Loomis in this dinosaur movie?

Elliott Kalan

[21:35] It's weird for the romantic,

[21:37] like the romantic character for the other star who's supposed to be like the nerdy expert

[21:42] who finds his adventure zone or whatever.

[21:44] For him to be a tip of the hat to Dr.

[21:46] Loomis.

[21:46] Because back then,

Stuart Wellington

[21:48] Donald Pleasence was people's sexiest man.

[21:51] I forgot.

[21:52] He was people's sexiest man that year.

Elliott Kalan

[21:54] The year Halloween came out.

[21:55] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[21:56] Yeah.

[21:56] But as Stuart alluded to.

Elliott Kalan

[21:58] That headline on the front said,

[21:59] wake in delight.

[22:00] Donald Pleasence,

[22:01] people's sexiest man of the year.

Dan McCoy

[22:03] As Stu alluded to,

[22:04] they need material from the biggest dinosaurs because of the biggest hearts.

[22:09] Which will help better with heart medicine.

[22:11] Good thing they didn't come after me because I have an enormous heart.

[22:14] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[22:14] Here's where,

[22:15] this is going to be the first.

[22:16] I hope I won't do too many.

Dan McCoy

[22:17] Maybe it could have to be for Wang medicine.

[22:18] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[22:19] Oh,

[22:20] we need a Wang medicine.

[22:21] I mean,

[22:21] that's the thing.

[22:22] That would make more sense if they're like,

[22:23] hey,

[22:24] yeah,

[22:24] so Big Farmer really wants to fix a dude's boners.

[22:27] So we went to,

[22:27] we want to give people bigger boners.

[22:29] So we're going to the dinos with the biggest dogs.

[22:32] Like that,

[22:33] I'm like,

[22:33] oh yeah,

[22:33] they would spend so much money on that.

Elliott Kalan

[22:35] That would be very funny.

[22:36] That would be very funny.

Stuart Wellington

[22:37] We've got to grind up these dino horns.

Elliott Kalan

[22:39] I'm going to try not to be too pedantic about the treatment of the dinosaurs in,

[22:43] and the other prehistoric animals in the movie because it's incredibly inaccurate.

[22:46] But there's a mistake they made here where it,

[22:49] where it almost,

[22:51] any thin layer of suspension of disbelief that I had,

[22:55] where they go to this paleontologist.

[22:56] Number one,

[22:57] the fact that he's like,

[22:57] yeah,

[22:58] we're closing down the dinosaur museum because people don't want to be here anymore.

[23:01] what?

[23:02] Like,

[23:02] what is going on?

[23:03] Setting that aside,

[23:04] that he says,

[23:05] we're going to go after the three biggest dinosaurs,

[23:07] Mosasaurus.

[23:09] right off the bat,

[23:09] that's not a dinosaur.

[23:10] And then he goes,

[23:11] Titanosaurus,

[23:12] Quetzalcoatl,

[23:13] the largest of the,

[23:14] of the,

[23:14] of the pterosaurs,

[23:16] like also not a dinosaur.

[23:17] And I wish that they had made,

[23:19] I was like,

[23:20] I was bothering my wife about it.

[23:21] I was like,

[23:21] here's how you should do that.

[23:23] Is he says,

[23:24] we need to get samples from a Mosasaur,

[23:25] a Tritanosaur and a Quetzalcoatl.

[23:27] And then Scarlett Johansson says,

[23:29] or something that says like,

[23:30] okay,

[23:30] the three dinosaurs,

[23:31] those are three dinosaurs.

[23:32] He goes,

[23:32] uh,

[23:33] a Mosasaur is technically not a dinosaur.

[23:34] It's a marine reptile.

[23:35] And she can say,

[23:36] whatever.

[23:37] It's gotosaurus in the name.

[23:38] I don't,

[23:38] you know,

[23:38] whatever nerdling.

[23:39] And you use that to one,

[23:41] establish,

[23:42] oh,

[23:42] this guy is an expert.

[23:42] He's real pedantic about some little piece of information that an average viewer may not be aware of.

[23:47] Two,

[23:47] you can make a joke out of it.

[23:48] Three,

[23:49] you start some tension between the two of them so that they don't like each other.

[23:51] So that when they do like each other,

[23:53] it's a,

[23:54] it's a turn,

[23:54] it's a turnabout.

[23:55] And I don't mean to tell David Koepp,

[23:56] one of the great modern,

[23:57] you know,

[23:58] uh,

[23:58] blockbuster screenwriters had to do his job.

[24:00] It's,

[24:01] that would be presumptuous of me,

[24:02] but it made me so mad that it's like right off the bat,

[24:05] the paleontologist character is calling Mosasaurus a dinosaur,

[24:07] which is the kind of thing that no other character would care about,

[24:10] but that character should care about,

[24:12] you know,

[24:12] being specific about those classifications,

[24:13] you know?

Stuart Wellington

[24:14] Also,

[24:14] I,

[24:15] I mean,

[24:15] and the audience will learn something,

[24:17] you know,

Elliott Kalan

[24:17] and the audience will learn something about not everything that lived back then.

[24:20] Those are reptiles,

[24:21] a dinosaur,

[24:22] marine reptiles,

[24:22] not dinosaurs,

[24:23] pterosaurs,

[24:24] not dinosaurs.

[24:24] Come on guys.

[24:25] This is fascinating to you.

Dan McCoy

[24:27] This is off to the side of your complaint,

[24:30] but I,

[24:30] also in the scene,

[24:32] like,

[24:32] I know you got to have a MacGuffin and like,

[24:34] if the movie's working,

[24:35] I don't really care about this kind of thing,

[24:36] but I was like,

[24:38] why do you have to have stuff from these three dinosaurs?

[24:42] Like,

[24:43] if it's just that you need like big dino DNA,

[24:47] then like,

[24:47] why is it like,

[24:48] okay,

[24:48] these three dinos are the ones we got to get.

[24:50] We got to get all of them.

[24:52] It just didn't make any sense to me.

[24:53] Yeah,

[24:53] if you only get two,

[24:54] yeah,

[24:55] you're done.

[24:55] Go fuck yourself.

[24:56] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[24:56] I also,

[24:56] I also found it,

[24:57] the fact that even after some of them have died,

[24:59] the others are still like,

[25:00] Kretzkoadl,

[25:01] okay,

[25:01] that's the next one on our list.

[25:02] It'll be like,

[25:03] what,

[25:03] it was,

[25:04] it was hard for me to buy that they still cared that much about this particular mission,

[25:09] you know,

[25:09] after people start getting eaten by Mosasaurus and things like that.

[25:12] But I don't know.

[25:13] Anyway,

[25:13] guys,

Stuart Wellington

[25:14] I was just going to say,

[25:15] we're like pretty deep in the plot of this movie.

[25:17] So I think it's an appropriate time to talk about,

[25:20] I was doing a little research in the director,

[25:22] the director,

[25:23] it's Gareth Evans.

[25:25] Edwards.

[25:26] Edwards.

[25:26] Evans is the,

[25:27] is the martial arts guy.

[25:29] And I just noticed his last three movies,

[25:33] Rogue One,

[25:33] The Creator,

[25:34] and Jurassic World Rebirth,

[25:35] all have the exact same runtime of two hours and 13 minutes.

[25:39] Is that some kind of like weird angel number shit?

[25:42] I wouldn't be surprised if it is.

[25:44] I didn't make it up.

[25:45] My,

Elliott Kalan

[25:45] my guess is that,

[25:46] my guess is that,

[25:47] and I could be wrong about this.

[25:48] My guess is,

[25:49] maybe it's just him.

[25:50] But my guess is that the studio will say,

[25:52] we don't want it to be two and a half hours.

[25:54] That's too long.

[25:55] And they'll say,

[25:56] well,

[25:56] we need to be more than two hours for,

[25:58] for our,

[25:59] you know,

[25:59] to tell this story.

[26:00] And then it's,

[26:01] and make it feel like an event.

[26:02] My guess is that probably is around the,

[26:04] the ballpark where the,

[26:05] or the ideal length for one of those movies from a studio point of view.

[26:08] You know,

[26:09] I could be wrong about that.

[26:10] It's also like two hours,

[26:11] less than two and a half hours.

[26:12] I don't think it eats that much into the number of screenings you can show.

[26:15] That kind of thing.

[26:15] So anyway,

[26:16] that's my guess.

[26:17] My guess is that there's a reason for that.

Dan McCoy

[26:18] Well,

[26:18] anyway,

[26:19] back to the movie that has barely started.

[26:21] Jonathan Bailey gets,

[26:22] the paleontologist gets drafted into coming along.

[26:25] The Baileyontologist.

[26:27] Down in the tropics,

[26:28] we are introduced to Zora's old partner,

[26:30] Duncan played by Mahershala,

[26:32] Mahershala Ali.

[26:34] And,

[26:34] uh,

[26:34] always,

[26:35] always a welcome face.

[26:36] He's,

[26:36] he's,

[26:37] you know,

[26:37] doing great work in a movie that,

[26:39] you know,

[26:40] doesn't deserve him.

[26:41] Uh,

[26:41] she's got the mercenary crew.

[26:42] I mean,

[26:42] but it's,

Elliott Kalan

[26:43] it's rare for a movie to deserve him.

[26:45] He's great.

[26:45] So,

[26:45] you know,

[26:45] it's,

[26:46] it's hard to find a movie that deserves him.

[26:47] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[26:48] She's got the mercenary crew in the boat and they,

[26:50] uh,

[26:50] you know,

[26:51] extort more money from the farmer guy to do this job.

[26:53] And there are other characters who are just dino bait.

[26:56] So I'm not going to introduce.

[26:57] Don't even bother.

[26:58] There's French girl,

Elliott Kalan

[26:59] Frenchish guy.

Dan McCoy

[27:00] Yeah.

[27:00] boat boat driver.

[27:03] Um,

[27:03] and this is,

[27:04] I don't want to be too hard on the aforementioned,

[27:07] uh,

[27:07] director cause I've liked his work before,

[27:10] but this scene down in the tropics is the one where I was texting you guys.

[27:14] I'm like,

[27:14] there's so much like unmotivated camera movement,

[27:17] like edits that I don't like that will cut just away to like a far shot,

[27:22] you know,

[27:22] of them,

[27:23] like with the sun setting in the background is like,

[27:26] it's a beautiful shot.

[27:27] But I was just thinking about like,

[27:29] none of the,

[27:29] like it all feels like they just got a bunch of shots.

[27:33] They threw them together,

[27:35] you know,

[27:36] like they didn't have the time to do what Spielberg does,

[27:39] which is like plan the blocking.

[27:42] So the movements of the characters,

[27:44] like emphasize like shifting dynamics and like the shots mean something.

[27:49] It was just like,

[27:51] Like the fact that it was just an exposition dump made me hyper aware of

[27:55] like,

[27:55] what is going on here with the camera?

Stuart Wellington

[27:57] Yeah.

[27:57] The camera movements are just like,

[27:59] Hey,

[27:59] well,

[27:59] it's a movie.

[28:00] So let's just put a bunch of images,

[28:02] like a different versions of looking at the same thing.

Dan McCoy

[28:04] It's a movie.

[28:05] So we have to move around.

[28:08] Anyway,

[28:09] so they don't call it a stand still.

[28:11] Yeah,

[28:12] no on the boat.

[28:13] We get a little explainer about how they're going to collect this dino material.

[28:16] They've got these darts that they shoot into the dinos.

[28:19] And then like the canister pops out.

[28:21] I think it's pretty fun.

[28:22] It comes out a little parachute.

[28:22] Yeah.

[28:23] It pops out a little parachute.

[28:24] And luckily,

Elliott Kalan

[28:25] luckily it always pops out in a place they can catch it easily when it's,

[28:28] when it's descending.

[28:29] Yeah.

[28:30] Throughout the movie.

[28:31] That's something they never have to deal with.

[28:32] It like,

[28:32] it gets stuck somewhere in a tree branch or something like that.

Dan McCoy

[28:34] Or they don't like have to like jump for it or something.

[28:38] Yeah.

[28:38] We get more tragic backstory between Scarjo and Mahershala.

[28:43] And it's just all like super rote.

[28:44] Like we lost somebody and it does not get me to care about them anymore.

Elliott Kalan

[28:48] Well,

[28:48] also,

[28:48] I feel like they are,

[28:49] it is a,

[28:50] they are mercenaries,

[28:52] right?

[28:52] And it's never,

[28:53] it's,

[28:53] I think it is supposed to be cool.

[28:56] Kind of how vague they are about some of the stuff they're talking about.

[28:59] But if it was made clear that these are like,

[29:02] they do rescues,

[29:04] you know,

[29:04] or they do,

[29:05] they do something that's specific to a good thing,

[29:08] but it's,

[29:08] it's like,

[29:09] yeah,

[29:09] we lost that friend on that mission.

[29:11] It's like,

[29:11] I don't know what you were doing.

[29:12] Were you doing some kind of black ops mission for Blackwater where you're

[29:16] killing a bunch of civilians in Afghanistan?

[29:18] Like,

[29:18] I don't know,

[29:18] man.

[29:19] Like it was,

[29:20] I found it very hard to be sympathetic to these characters,

[29:22] knowing that their work involves going into dangerous,

[29:26] situations.

[29:26] And I don't know,

[29:27] doing what?

[29:28] Like,

[29:28] Are they,

Stuart Wellington

[29:29] are they like world-class extractors like Tyler Rake in the extraction

[29:33] franchise?

[29:35] Exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[29:35] Exactly.

[29:36] And so I wondered if it was another one of those things where I'm like,

[29:39] or my dentist,

[29:40] I wonder if at some point,

[29:41] Tyler Rake's your dentist.

[29:42] I wonder if at some point these were harder,

[29:44] harder bitten characters that were then going to like find their humanity

[29:48] through this adventure or something like that.

[29:50] But instead they're just kind of soft from the beginning.

[29:52] And it was very hard for me to,

[29:54] to buy the idea of like,

[29:55] again,

[29:56] this lovable team of mercenaries,

[29:57] you know?

Stuart Wellington

[29:58] Yeah.

[29:58] Like everybody is basically nice coded in this movie.

[30:02] Yeah.

[30:02] With the exception of the guy who is Paul Reiser coded.

[30:06] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[30:06] And,

[30:06] and the one,

[30:07] and the one mercenary who's,

[30:09] who's like the,

[30:10] like the weapons guy who doesn't care or something.

[30:12] Yeah.

[30:12] But he gets killed so early.

[30:14] Immediately.

[30:14] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[30:15] Yeah.

[30:15] Well,

[30:15] speaking about not caring about characters,

[30:17] we meet the Delgado family.

[30:19] Oh my God.

[30:20] They're sailing nearby.

[30:21] We get Ruben Delgado and his daughters,

[30:23] Teresa and Isabella.

[30:24] Now I'm sure you guys were thinking,

Elliott Kalan

[30:26] the same thing that I was,

[30:27] are they named as an homage to the comic book artist,

[30:30] Ricardo Delgado,

[30:31] who did the age of reptiles comic book series,

[30:33] which is a great set of series that are just stories of dinosaurs and their dinosaurs don't talk.

[30:38] Like going to work.

[30:39] What?

[30:40] Like going to work?

[30:41] No,

[30:41] not going to,

[30:41] I mean,

[30:42] going to do the work of like eating,

[30:44] hunting things.

[30:45] Oh,

Elliott Kalan

[30:46] I was like,

[30:46] if this is a tip of the hat to Ricardo Delgado,

[30:48] that's okay.

[30:48] So you guys were really thinking the same thing,

Dan McCoy

[30:50] right?

[30:50] Probably,

[30:50] probably were.

[30:52] Yeah.

[30:52] Also,

[30:53] there is Xavier,

[30:54] Teresa's boyfriend,

[30:55] who Ruben the dead is not into,

[30:57] because he's kind of a layabout.

Elliott Kalan

[30:59] I mean,

[30:59] to be honest,

[31:00] he's a pretty,

[31:00] he's a pretty crappy kind of like teen boyfriend,

[31:03] you know,

[31:03] at this point.

[31:04] He seems to be crappy.

Dan McCoy

[31:06] He proves himself later on,

[31:08] of course.

Stuart Wellington

[31:09] So why,

[31:11] guys,

[31:11] why are these guys here?

[31:13] What's the point?

Elliott Kalan

[31:14] You got to have some civilians to have in danger.

[31:17] You got to have some kids in danger.

[31:18] That's the Jurassic Park way.

[31:20] There's something about like,

Stuart Wellington

[31:22] we've already been introduced to the main thrust of the story.

[31:25] And then all of a sudden we're like,

[31:26] yeah,

[31:26] and then there's this family that's going across the ocean.

Elliott Kalan

[31:29] And especially because they made such a big deal out of,

[31:32] well,

[31:32] this is this belt around the,

[31:33] this equatorial belt that people are not supposed to go into.

[31:36] It is illegal to go close to dinosaur island.

[31:38] And then there's a family that's like,

[31:40] yeah,

[31:40] we do it all the time.

[31:41] We're just kind of crossing the Atlantic or whatever.

Dan McCoy

[31:43] If we're going to bring other characters in,

[31:44] let me pitch what I will argue is a more interesting idea.

[31:47] Okay.

[31:47] They get to the island.

[31:49] There's some people who have been living there,

[31:51] like surviving who are like,

[31:52] thank God someone's come to rescue us.

[31:54] And like,

[31:54] oh,

[31:54] like we're not actually here for you,

[31:56] but sure.

[31:57] Well,

[31:57] like,

[31:57] you know,

[31:58] if you want to.

Elliott Kalan

[31:59] Would it be?

[31:59] Yeah.

[32:00] I wonder if there's,

[32:01] Anyway,

[32:02] nevermind.

[32:02] Forget what I said.

[32:03] Dan,

[32:04] you're great.

[32:04] I'll try.

Dan McCoy

[32:06] I don't know if I can.

[32:08] I'll forget,

[32:08] but I'll never forget.

Elliott Kalan

[32:10] But I appreciate it.

[32:11] But it feels like either like changing the characters that we're dealing with

[32:15] or reorienting the story or like,

[32:17] it feels like there's a,

[32:18] there's kind of two movies that are slammed into each other.

[32:20] Yeah.

[32:21] And it's not quite,

[32:23] they're not quite the same.

[32:24] They don't quite mesh as the well they should,

[32:26] but I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[32:28] But anyway,

[32:29] so there's a big whale dino that overturns their sailboat and Xavier's trapped inside.

[32:34] That's that.

Elliott Kalan

[32:34] That's that.

[32:35] Well,

[32:35] that's the one that does have a sail or it doesn't have a sail.

Stuart Wellington

[32:40] It has a sail.

[32:41] So there's the Spinosaurus that are helping the Mosasaur hunt.

Elliott Kalan

[32:45] They're like the silver surfer to the Mosasaurus Galactus.

[32:48] And then Mosasaur,

[32:49] that's right.

[32:49] He knocks over the boat.

[32:50] This is also the highly controversial idea that Spinosaurus was an aquatic dinosaur.

[32:55] You know,

[32:56] whether the evidence supports that,

[32:58] I'm not so,

[32:58] I'm not so sold on it.

[33:00] But yeah,

[33:00] the Mosasaur tips them over,

[33:02] pours them out as if they were a teapot.

Dan McCoy

[33:05] Xavier's trapped inside the capsizing boat,

[33:07] but he's,

[33:07] you know,

[33:07] the first time he sort of proves his mettle a little bit,

[33:10] he gets the emergency bag and gets back to the ship.

[33:14] On the other boat,

[33:16] Jonathan Bailey and ScarJo bond over her crying.

Elliott Kalan

[33:21] Just being hot.

[33:21] Yeah.

[33:22] I mean,

[33:22] just being two hotties.

[33:23] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[33:24] And they pick up the Delgado's distress call and all of the evil coded characters don't want to help.

[33:30] Yeah.

[33:30] No.

[33:30] But our heroes,

[33:31] of course,

[33:31] want to pick them up.

[33:33] And the whale dino resurfaces.

[33:35] We get the first attempt at getting a blood sample.

Elliott Kalan

[33:38] Again,

[33:38] not an actual dino,

Dan McCoy

[33:39] just marine reptile.

[33:40] Yeah,

[33:40] marine reptile.

[33:41] The big aquatic reptile's blood sample is successfully collected.

[33:47] They did it.

[33:48] How exciting was this sequence,

[33:49] guys?

[33:50] Not very.

[33:52] Other dino's attack the ship,

[33:54] killing one of the first extraneous character.

[33:57] And there's a lot of shots of people hanging off of boats and dino's snapping at them.

Stuart Wellington

[34:01] They've scooped up the family,

[34:04] the Delgado family,

[34:04] right?

[34:05] Oh,

[34:05] yeah,

[34:05] yeah.

Dan McCoy

[34:05] They've already rescued the Delgados.

Stuart Wellington

[34:07] I don't know why I got so irrationally annoyed when immediately these teenagers are like,

[34:13] uh,

[34:13] you gotta take us,

[34:14] you gotta rescue us,

[34:15] you gotta take us back somewhere.

[34:16] I'm like,

[34:17] guys,

[34:18] just get rid of these people.

[34:19] I don't want them here.

Elliott Kalan

[34:21] So what you're saying is the film is not doing,

[34:23] the film's not doing its job of making you sympathize with these characters.

[34:27] No.

[34:27] And want to see them survive.

Stuart Wellington

[34:29] No,

[34:29] I'm like,

[34:30] get me to that dino island.

[34:32] I don't want to deal with these kids.

[34:33] Well,

[34:33] good news,

[34:34] Stuart.

Elliott Kalan

[34:35] That is a good point,

[34:35] though,

[34:35] that anything,

[34:36] in a movie about a dino island,

[34:38] anything that is delaying your arrival to the dino island better be super fun and exciting and enjoyable.

[34:44] Because all you're going to be thinking otherwise is like,

[34:45] when do we get to that dino island?

[34:46] Yes.

[34:47] That's a good point.

[34:47] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[34:48] Uh,

[34:49] well,

[34:50] it seems like Rupert Friend feels the same way.

[34:53] Teresa tries to radio for help,

[34:55] but he stops her to keep,

[34:57] uh,

[34:57] the mission secret and the scuffle.

[34:59] She falls off the boat and he does not help pull her back up.

[35:04] Uh,

[35:04] but Xavier,

[35:05] the boyfriend,

[35:06] I feel like watching it was like,

[35:07] yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[35:08] yeah,

[35:08] you go Rupert Friend,

[35:09] you did it.

[35:09] She later on is accusing him of trying to kill her.

[35:12] I don't,

[35:13] I feel like that's a stretch.

[35:15] I feel like she,

[35:16] he's being unfairly tarred with a murder.

Elliott Kalan

[35:19] He certainly,

[35:19] I mean,

[35:19] inaction.

[35:20] That's the sort of,

[35:21] I mean,

[35:21] that's the philosophical question.

[35:23] Is that murder,

[35:23] if it is through inaction rather through actual action,

[35:26] is allowing someone to be.

Stuart Wellington

[35:28] Inaction in the middle of a dino attack.

[35:29] I mean,

[35:29] my mistake,

[35:30] marine reptile attack.

[35:32] Thank you.

[35:33] I think that he,

[35:34] he has like,

[35:35] I don't think a jury in the world would be.

[35:37] I mean,

Dan McCoy

[35:37] he did accidentally also push her off the boat.

Stuart Wellington

[35:40] I,

[35:41] again,

[35:41] I feel like a,

[35:43] that's easily defended.

Elliott Kalan

[35:45] I mean,

[35:45] it is less cut and dry than later when he has them all at gunpoint.

[35:47] I'm Mr.

Stuart Wellington

[35:48] Dinosaur Defender.

[35:49] I mean,

[35:49] it's not like.

Elliott Kalan

[35:50] I'm not some big city dinosaur.

[35:52] I'm a marine reptile.

[35:54] It's not murder one.

[35:55] And I'll say my client,

[35:57] maybe is not the best man.

[35:58] Maybe I wouldn't want him to marry my daughter.

[36:01] That's not a crime in these parts.

Dan McCoy

[36:04] I think a manslaughter conviction would not be out of order for that,

[36:08] perhaps,

[36:08] but I don't know.

[36:09] We can get that knocked down even more.

[36:11] Yeah,

[36:11] I'm sure.

Elliott Kalan

[36:12] He's going to be doing community service for a month.

[36:14] That's it.

[36:14] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[36:15] Anyway,

[36:16] the Delgado's all jump in after her and the boat tries to,

[36:21] they go,

Dan McCoy

[36:21] weee!

[36:22] Tries for safety in shallow water,

[36:24] but the dinos push them into rocks,

[36:25] causing them to crash.

Elliott Kalan

[36:27] This was a very funny strategy on the part of Mahershala Ali,

[36:30] which is,

[36:31] oh,

[36:31] these,

[36:32] these things are chasing us.

[36:33] We better escape them by crashing the boat so we can't use it anymore.

[36:37] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[36:37] It was good thinking.

[36:38] I don't think that was the point of the strategy.

[36:42] Anyway,

[36:42] another extraneous character gets killed.

[36:45] R.I.P.

[36:47] lady mercenary who's not ScarJo.

Stuart Wellington

[36:49] I think that's kind of a fun,

[36:50] that's a fun sequence where she like drags this big thing on the,

[36:53] on the beach and she like goes around to like secure it or something.

[36:57] And in the background,

[36:58] we see the spinosaur like wake up and then like wander back there.

[37:02] And then just a bunch of screams.

[37:04] Yeah.

[37:05] We get a pair of.

[37:06] But for anyone,

Elliott Kalan

[37:07] anyone who likes to watch movies where women wear kind of like overalls,

[37:10] that's where,

[37:10] that's where your interest in this movie ends.

[37:12] Yeah.

[37:13] No other women wear overalls throughout the rest of the movie.

Dan McCoy

[37:15] Learning a little bit about Elliot's kinks,

[37:17] I guess.

[37:17] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[37:18] What's her name?

[37:19] Gadget.

[37:20] What's the gadget?

[37:21] Hack French.

[37:22] Thank you.

Dan McCoy

[37:22] She doesn't wear overalls though.

[37:24] It's more of a,

[37:24] yeah,

[37:25] it's a jumpsuit.

[37:25] It's a jumpsuit.

[37:26] Sort of a mechanics jumpsuit.

Elliott Kalan

[37:27] In the overalls community,

[37:29] it's,

[37:29] we're very clear about that.

Stuart Wellington

[37:31] I feel like Elliot attends some meetings like in the,

[37:33] uh,

[37:34] Ulysses chapter,

[37:35] Syl and Sheribdis,

[37:36] where he argues about cartoon characters,

Dan McCoy

[37:38] fucking outfits.

[37:40] Exactly.

[37:41] Um,

[37:42] so we get,

Elliott Kalan

[37:42] we,

[37:42] we in the Oshkosh Magooner community though,

[37:45] are very particular.

[37:47] Uh,

Dan McCoy

[37:47] we get some info here.

[37:49] Uh,

[37:50] Pharma guy reveals this is where,

[37:51] uh,

[37:52] engine,

[37:52] uh,

[37:53] abandoned all of the genetically engineered mutant crossby breeds that were too ugly for the park.

Elliott Kalan

[37:59] They're like,

[37:59] yeah,

[37:59] people got tired of regular dinosaurs.

[38:01] They started making mutants.

[38:02] And then they were like,

[38:02] whoa,

[38:03] too much.

[38:03] So they dropped them off on a hideo island over here.

Dan McCoy

[38:07] I'll go dino island.

Elliott Kalan

[38:10] They should have called,

[38:11] so that,

[38:11] that,

[38:11] uh,

[38:12] that big dinosaur is called the distortus Rex,

[38:14] which is a pretty good band name,

[38:15] but they should have called it the Uggosaurus Rex.

[38:17] That would have been great.

[38:18] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[38:18] Uh,

[38:19] Zora reveals that the rescue copter is supposed to come for them at sunset.

[38:23] The next day,

[38:24] uh,

[38:24] if they don't hear from them,

[38:26] uh,

[38:26] so they've got their,

[38:27] uh,

[38:29] very specific timing.

Stuart Wellington

[38:30] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[38:31] Meanwhile,

[38:31] uh,

[38:32] the Delgados have survived,

[38:33] uh,

[38:33] made it ashore.

[38:34] They decide to follow some pipes to the abandoned complex,

[38:37] uh,

[38:38] looking for a radio.

[38:39] And there's a lot of like,

[38:40] just kind of inconsequential walking around.

[38:43] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[38:43] The little girl does get like a little dino friend.

[38:46] I like that part.

[38:47] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[38:47] She adopts a little baby dino named Dolores.

Elliott Kalan

[38:49] It's like a little protoceratops type,

[38:51] type dinosaur.

[38:52] Yeah.

[38:52] I'm into that.

Dan McCoy

[38:53] Um,

[38:54] the,

[38:54] the mercenary team finds a couple of giant dinos doing kind of a love dance in the field.

Elliott Kalan

[39:00] This is,

[39:00] so these are these titanosauruses.

Stuart Wellington

[39:01] And this was,

[39:02] it's crazy.

[39:03] With these like bonkers,

[39:05] like Inuyasha style tails twisting around.

[39:09] Yes.

[39:09] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[39:09] That their tails are so incredibly flexible.

[39:11] Their tails are like ribbons,

[39:12] basically.

[39:13] Like their tails are ribbons or kimono sashes or whatever.

[39:15] And they,

[39:15] all these dinosaurs want to do is caress.

[39:17] And it was like,

[39:18] it went from being,

[39:20] Oh,

[39:20] these dinosaurs show affection,

[39:22] I guess,

[39:22] to being like,

[39:23] Oh,

[39:24] I'm trapped at a party.

[39:25] And I'm sitting next to these two that cannot keep their hands off each other.

[39:29] And are just kind of like caressing and kind of like,

[39:31] kind of lightly touching each other.

[39:33] And even when the dinosaurs get stuck with a dart and their blood is being pumped out of them,

[39:37] they still do not notice because they're so horny for each other.

[39:40] Part of the thing.

[39:41] The titanosaurs cuddle puddle just can't,

[39:43] just won't end.

[39:43] Well,

Dan McCoy

[39:43] they're so big.

[39:44] I assume that that dart is not much of a,

Elliott Kalan

[39:47] I guess so.

[39:47] But this scene goes on for a very long time.

[39:50] Yeah.

[39:50] this is after,

[39:51] and Dr.

[39:52] Henry Loomis is like having this transcendent moment of ecstasy.

[39:56] Yeah.

[39:57] He's blasting.

[39:58] And it's like,

[39:59] and I,

[39:59] and I don't know if you guys had this thing,

[40:02] didn't you remember like a couple of people died just like.

[40:05] Yeah.

[40:05] 50 minutes ago,

[40:06] 45 minutes ago.

[40:07] Like,

[40:07] it seems like these characters have completely forgotten what they were just went through,

[40:11] you know,

[40:11] but maybe that's the experience of seeing two titanosaurs is necking.

[40:14] Or,

Stuart Wellington

[40:14] you know,

[40:14] or they,

[40:15] they could make a moment of being like,

[40:17] wow,

[40:17] he's really into this.

[40:18] Even though our friends just died,

[40:20] but like,

[40:21] yeah,

[40:22] We're going to point on it.

Elliott Kalan

[40:23] Like,

[40:23] you know what,

[40:24] this is,

[40:24] this,

[40:24] even though that just happened,

[40:25] this is magical,

[40:26] you know,

[40:26] or they,

[40:27] you know,

[40:27] it,

[40:27] it brings me,

[40:28] suddenly this is what life is all about.

[40:30] You know,

[40:30] it puts into contrast,

[40:32] you know,

[40:32] sharp contrast with what we've been doing or something.

[40:34] It's,

[40:34] but it just seems like the movie was like,

[40:36] we don't care about those people.

[40:37] You don't care about those people.

[40:39] Let's move on to these.

[40:40] It's like that scene in Honey,

Stuart Wellington

[40:41] I Shrunk the Kids where they're like,

[40:42] yeah,

[40:43] we're all super shrunk and it's terrifying,

[40:44] but look at how magical a giant ant is,

[40:47] right?

[40:48] Yeah,

[40:48] yeah.

[40:50] Exactly.

[40:51] I mean,

[40:51] nobody has died by that point in Honey,

[40:53] I Shrunk the Kids.

Elliott Kalan

[40:54] It'd be different if like,

[40:55] one of the kids,

[40:55] nobody died in that point?

[40:56] If like,

[40:57] one of the kids drowned in a,

[40:58] or any point.

[41:00] If one of the kids drowns in a puddle

[41:02] and they're like,

[41:02] oh shit,

[41:03] and then they see a giant ant

[41:04] cool.

[41:05] Yeah.

[41:07] Oh shit.

[41:09] Then the movie was called Honey,

[41:10] I Killed the Kids.

[41:11] It would be a different movie.

[41:12] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[41:12] Oof.

[41:14] Hard to come back from that.

[41:15] No.

Elliott Kalan

[41:16] I mean,

[41:16] even Honey,

[41:17] I Shrunk the Kids was hard to come back from.

[41:18] Have you seen Honey,

[41:19] I Blew the Kids?

[41:19] Yeah.

[41:20] Yeah.

[41:20] You could still make Honey,

[41:22] I Blew the Kids,

[41:22] but it'd be a little bit different.

Dan McCoy

[41:24] Two out of three of the giant dinos have,

[41:27] we've got their DNA.

[41:29] We did it.

[41:30] One left.

[41:30] They're going to have to climb this cliff for that.

[41:32] Again,

Elliott Kalan

[41:32] only one of these dinos is an actual dino.

[41:34] The other two are just prehistoric reptiles.

Dan McCoy

[41:37] Meanwhile,

[41:37] the Delgados find a raft,

[41:39] which they start taking down River

[41:40] after Bella shoes off her baby dino Dolores.

[41:45] They narrowly escape a T-Rex along the way.

[41:48] I like this sequence.

[41:48] What did you guys think about this one?

[41:49] Yeah,

[41:49] yeah,

[41:50] yeah.

[41:50] This is one of the better sequences.

Stuart Wellington

[41:51] There are a few sequences I liked.

[41:52] The lead up was good.

[41:53] I mean,

[41:53] again,

[41:54] it ties into one of the weirder things,

[41:57] the way that we,

[42:00] you know,

[42:01] we have been,

[42:02] we were introduced as a culture to T-Rexes

[42:05] by that sequence in the first Jurassic Park

[42:07] where just its footsteps caused ripples.

[42:09] I'm going to nitpick slightly

Elliott Kalan

[42:10] that Tyrannosaurus Rex was already a part of,

[42:13] people knew about it.

[42:14] You know?

Stuart Wellington

[42:15] No,

[42:15] I don't think so.

[42:16] It's not even the first movie

[42:17] with an iconic Tyrannosaurus Rex in it.

[42:19] But like,

[42:19] really in film,

[42:20] I feel like,

[42:21] and is that moment where just its footsteps

[42:25] are causing ripples.

[42:26] Yes.

[42:27] And so,

[42:27] ever since then,

[42:28] they're like,

[42:29] instead,

[42:29] they are the stealthiest creature in the universe.

[42:32] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[42:32] even by the end of that movie,

[42:34] as we all know,

[42:34] the Tyrannosaurus manages to sneak up behind them

[42:36] at the end,

[42:37] but,

[42:37] and eat that raptor.

[42:38] But you're right,

[42:38] that there's a,

[42:40] the Tyrannosaurus,

[42:41] that,

[42:41] even with the Titanosaurs,

[42:43] yeah,

[42:44] we're going over a hill,

[42:45] da,

[42:45] da.

[42:45] And then suddenly a Tyrannosaurus,

[42:46] like,

[42:47] head lifts up,

[42:48] we had no idea that these huge dinosaurs are here.

[42:50] And like,

[42:51] it's a movie,

[42:52] whatever.

[42:52] But in real life,

[42:53] you would hear them,

[42:54] you would smell them,

[42:55] like you'd feel the tremors in the ground.

[42:57] Like,

Elliott Kalan

[42:57] the sauropods in particular,

[42:59] they were probably farting all the time

[43:01] because they had huge guts

[43:03] where things would just ferment for forever

[43:05] and,

[43:05] and break down.

[43:06] But like the,

[43:07] but you're right,

[43:07] the Tyrannosaurus,

[43:08] literally it's like,

[43:09] I mean,

[43:09] the fact that it's napping,

[43:10] so they don't see it at first

[43:11] because it's napping,

[43:12] but like,

[43:12] it can move so stealthily in this movie.

[43:15] It's true.

[43:15] But I will say,

[43:17] there's something about,

[43:18] maybe it's the fact,

[43:18] I like the sequence

[43:19] and I think it's done,

[43:20] I think it's staged really in a fun way,

[43:22] but also,

[43:23] you can't deny it,

[43:24] Tyrannosaurus is a super charismatic dinosaur.

[43:26] Yeah, dude.

[43:26] In the way that like,

[43:27] the new dinosaurs,

[43:28] they just don't got it

[43:29] in this movie the same way.

[43:30] Yeah, they don't got the juice.

[43:31] And when you see Tyrannosaurus,

[43:32] you're like,

[43:32] oh shit,

[43:33] that's a movie star dinosaur.

[43:34] Like,

[43:34] even though he's only in the one scene,

[43:37] they brought in the big guns for this guy.

Stuart Wellington

[43:39] And he's like,

[43:40] treated like a,

[43:41] like a giant animal,

[43:42] whereas some of the other ones are treated like,

[43:44] oh,

[43:44] this is a crafty villain.

Elliott Kalan

[43:46] Yes,

[43:47] especially by the end when there's a,

[43:49] there's that dinosaur that I think is just like a,

[43:51] or that pterosaur,

[43:52] that's a made up kind of like weird dinosaur,

[43:54] pterosaur hybrid.

Stuart Wellington

[43:55] The one that the,

[43:55] the other characters describe as being a mutant as shit,

[43:59] I believe.

[43:59] Yes,

[43:59] exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[44:00] And that one is like,

[44:02] it's like,

[44:03] we'll not give up stalking them,

[44:04] even when it has to squeeze into tunnels to get after them.

[44:06] It's like,

[44:07] no,

[44:07] it's not going to do this.

[44:08] Come on guys.

[44:09] Like,

[44:09] like,

[44:10] whereas you're right,

[44:10] the trinosaur has,

[44:11] has more kind of animal behavior in it,

[44:13] which I think is more fun.

Dan McCoy

[44:15] Uh,

[44:15] but let's return to our mercenaries.

[44:17] You never,

Elliott Kalan

[44:17] you never see it with its crush.

[44:19] Just kind of just nuzzling for a hundred hours.

Dan McCoy

[44:23] The,

[44:23] the others are,

[44:24] uh,

[44:24] rappelling down this cliff to get a sample from an egg,

[44:27] from a nest in like an ancient temple on the side of the cliff.

[44:30] This was a,

Elliott Kalan

[44:30] this was a funny addition that there's just an ancient,

[44:32] ancient Indiana Jones style temple.

[44:34] Yeah.

[44:34] And they don't really get into it.

Dan McCoy

[44:35] Uh,

[44:36] in the middle of nowhere.

[44:37] But mama bird comes back home and kills the last remaining extraneous character during the scene.

[44:42] And,

[44:42] uh,

[44:43] in my opinion,

[44:43] like you were talking about,

[44:44] you like that last sequence.

[44:45] This is my favorite sequence of the movie because it had a bit of that,

[44:48] like,

[44:50] you know,

[44:50] I keep bringing Spielberg up because of the original Jurassic Park,

[44:53] but it had a bit of that Spielberg thing where like multiples things are going on within the scene because they're all on ropes.

[45:00] Like,

[45:01] when one of them gets knocked down,

[45:03] like someone gets pulled over somewhere else in there.

[45:05] And there's also trying to get the,

[45:08] uh,

[45:08] genetic material,

[45:09] which is about to fall off the cliff.

[45:11] So,

[45:11] they have to try and get that wall being like whipped around.

[45:15] Yeah.

[45:15] And I found that a lot more fun.

Stuart Wellington

[45:17] I was a little disappointed they didn't do something.

[45:19] Because at one point,

[45:19] the,

[45:20] uh,

[45:20] the pterosaur,

[45:20] like,

[45:22] swallows a guy that has a rope attached to him.

[45:24] And I was hoping that the fact that it now has this rope hanging out of its mouth would be some element in the,

[45:31] but it,

[45:32] it doesn't really.

Elliott Kalan

[45:32] I thought the same thing.

[45:33] I was like,

[45:34] oh,

[45:34] now they're trying to get away from it,

[45:35] but it is literally attached to them.

[45:37] So,

[45:37] they can't,

[45:38] you know,

[45:38] but it's,

[45:38] they didn't do anything with it.

[45:39] That would have been cool.

[45:40] But I think you're right,

[45:41] Dan,

[45:41] that,

[45:41] oh,

[45:41] this one has more of that feel of like,

[45:43] there's something going on over here.

[45:44] There's something going on over here.

[45:45] There's different elements that are interacting.

[45:47] And they affect each other.

[45:48] Yeah.

[45:48] Yes.

[45:49] Like,

[45:49] like Indiana Jones with the truck or something like that.

[45:51] Yeah.

[45:52] Or,

[45:56] yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[45:57] it's kind of like one of the best action sequences of all time.

[46:03] If you went really hard,

Dan McCoy

[46:05] it's kind of.

[46:06] I mean,

[46:06] in the same general mechanics and principles,

[46:09] I guess.

[46:11] Jonathan Bailey falls off the cliff,

[46:13] but his fall is broken by branches and water.

Elliott Kalan

[46:16] This was hard to believe.

Dan McCoy

[46:18] We don't have to,

[46:19] guys,

[46:19] don't worry.

[46:20] We don't have to name a new people's sexiest man alive.

[46:22] He can still serve.

[46:24] Is Donald Pleasant still alive?

[46:27] No,

Elliott Kalan

[46:27] unfortunately.

[46:28] He is not even injured by this incredible fall,

[46:31] which I found unbelievable.

[46:34] And this is a movie that asked me to,

[46:35] to believe that there are mutant dinosaurs roaming around in an island that also has a gas station with a working radio or at least sound system.

Dan McCoy

[46:43] But the Delgados,

[46:46] they make it to the facility,

[46:47] the engine facility where they meet the team of mercenaries.

[46:51] And Teresa,

[46:51] of course,

[46:52] tells everyone,

[46:52] hey,

[46:53] this dude is bad.

[46:54] Evil,

[46:55] evil farmer man is evil and left her to die.

[46:58] Which,

Stuart Wellington

[46:58] the other thing is,

[46:59] I'm like,

[47:00] these mercenaries wouldn't,

[47:02] they shouldn't,

[47:03] on some level,

[47:04] they shouldn't be expected to care.

[47:06] Because,

[47:06] like,

[47:07] they took this fucking suicide mission for a lot of money.

[47:10] Just for the money.

[47:11] Yeah.

[47:11] So,

[47:12] it should be a surprise that they care,

[47:14] I feel like.

Elliott Kalan

[47:15] Or,

[47:16] I mean,

[47:16] there's a version of this where,

[47:18] yeah,

[47:18] where at that moment,

[47:19] it is a surprise even to them that they care,

[47:21] or it's a surprise to the bad guy that they care.

[47:23] Like,

[47:23] something,

[47:24] it feels like there's a,

[47:26] you know,

[47:26] what,

[47:26] I don't necessarily believe that every story needs,

[47:28] like,

[47:28] a clear character emotion arc.

[47:30] But for this movie,

[47:31] I think it would make it stronger if any of the characters had any sort of clear emotional arc.

[47:36] And one of,

[47:37] I'm taking this mission,

[47:38] I'm so hard,

[47:39] I'm so hardened by my life as a mercenary.

[47:42] I don't give a shit about anything.

[47:43] And all I care about is the money.

[47:45] And then you go on this mission,

[47:46] and there's innocent people,

[47:46] and you're like,

[47:47] I can't believe I gotta deal with these fucking people this whole time.

[47:50] Like,

[47:50] this is such a,

[47:50] this is getting in my way.

[47:52] And then by the end of it,

[47:53] no,

[47:53] actually,

[47:53] it's more important to me to protect these people than it is to fulfill this contract.

[47:57] Like,

[47:57] that's an arc,

[47:58] at least.

[47:58] But,

[47:59] that might be a harder buy for Scarlett Johansson to then be the star of your movie.

[48:03] Yeah.

[48:03] Play character who's an asshole for two-thirds of the film.

[48:06] You know,

Stuart Wellington

[48:07] You're saying she was a huge asshole in a marriage story though,

[48:09] right,

[48:09] Dan?

[48:10] I still haven't seen that movie.

Elliott Kalan

[48:12] Dan,

[48:12] you were saying,

[48:14] why did the movie keep taking the villain's point of view?

[48:17] Have seen.

[48:18] That's a great movie,

[48:19] a marriage story.

[48:19] I think it's really great.

Dan McCoy

[48:20] You know what?

[48:21] It came out when I,

[48:22] myself,

[48:22] was getting divorced.

[48:23] So,

[48:23] I'm like,

[48:24] I'll skip this for now,

[48:25] and then I never circle back.

[48:25] Anyway,

[48:29] pharma guy,

[48:30] Rupert Friend,

[48:31] he...

Stuart Wellington

[48:32] That's why I missed the earlier Jurassic World,

[48:34] because I was planning trips to Jurassic World,

[48:36] and I didn't want to get booked over by dinos.

Dan McCoy

[48:38] There's a dino infestation at Hinterlands,

[48:40] and you're like,

[48:41] I can't do it.

[48:42] I'm just chicken dinos at this point.

Elliott Kalan

[48:43] That's why the museum shut down,

[48:45] because you canceled your membership.

Dan McCoy

[48:46] Yeah.

[48:48] But,

[48:48] Rupert Friend has a gun,

[48:50] he handcuffs all the...

[48:52] Wait,

[48:52] hold on.

[48:53] Let me just finish this sentence.

Elliott Kalan

[48:54] It's supposed to be the Museum of Natural History in New York

[48:56] that was shutting in,

[48:56] because they have more things there than just dinosaurs,

Dan McCoy

[48:58] you know?

Elliott Kalan

[49:00] Yeah,

[49:00] they're just like arms and armor and shit,

[49:02] right?

[49:02] No,

[49:02] that's not,

[49:03] no,

[49:03] that's the Metropolitan Museum.

[49:05] There's nothing like that.

[49:05] So,

[49:06] you got to stop taking your understanding from the Night at the Museum movie,

[49:09] which is not accurate,

[49:10] to the Museum of Natural History.

Dan McCoy

[49:12] It is so unimportant at this point,

[49:14] but just because it comes up later,

[49:16] Rupert Friend handcuffs all the genetic stuff to his wrist.

[49:20] So,

Dan McCoy

[49:20] he's got the suitcase.

Stuart Wellington

[49:22] And he has a gun,

[49:23] and he's being mean to them.

[49:24] I've seen enough movies like this to know

[49:26] that arm ain't staying attached to his bizzotti.

[49:31] Bizzotti?

[49:32] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[49:32] I could go for a bizzotti right now.

[49:35] Mamma mia.

[49:36] Yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[49:37] like Mondo Bread,

[49:38] it's more kind of like Jewish bizzotti.

[49:40] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[49:41] The power sort of like,

[49:43] the generator like,

[49:44] comes on the facility,

[49:46] and Stand By Me starts playing,

[49:47] which I kind of like,

[49:48] just like a little like,

[49:49] creepy moment of like,

[49:51] like,

[49:52] suddenly there's music here,

[49:53] but they don't linger on it.

[49:54] They don't like,

[49:55] allow any creepiness to build.

[49:56] Like,

[49:56] immediately dinosaurs just like,

[49:58] chill out.

[49:58] I don't know about that.

[49:58] Should have been,

Stuart Wellington

[49:59] should have been Walk the Dinosaur,

[50:00] right?

[50:01] Yeah.

[50:03] Because the song is literally saying,

[50:05] open the door,

[50:06] but they don't want to open the door.

[50:07] No,

[50:08] they don't want to get on the floor either.

[50:09] Yeah.

[50:10] No.

[50:10] Or something by,

[50:11] something by T-Rex,

[50:12] you know.

Dan McCoy

[50:13] They hide in various buildings.

[50:15] Dolores,

[50:16] the baby dinosaur,

[50:17] shows up again,

[50:18] just as the Delgados hide from like,

[50:20] I guess,

[50:20] modified raptors,

[50:21] and they escape through a drainage pipe.

Elliott Kalan

[50:23] Looking at the Wikipedia,

[50:24] it describes this as a mutadon,

[50:27] a hybrid raptor pterosaur.

Dan McCoy

[50:29] Thank you.

[50:30] So now,

[50:31] how do you feel about these mutadons, Elliot?

Elliott Kalan

[50:34] Yeah,

Dan McCoy

[50:34] how do you feel about them?

[50:35] What do they make you feel?

Elliott Kalan

[50:36] To be honest,

[50:37] I mean,

[50:38] this was where I was having trouble.

Stuart Wellington

[50:40] The first two words should be,

[50:41] I feel.

Elliott Kalan

[50:43] Thank you.

[50:43] Well,

[50:43] that's what I said.

[50:44] I feel.

[50:45] Thanks.

[50:45] Thank you for giving me the prompt.

[50:47] Watching the movie,

[50:47] I was torn because I was like,

[50:49] I love monsters.

[50:50] I love any kind of crazy monster.

[50:52] Like,

[50:52] I like seeing movies where monsters are chasing people.

[50:54] But at a certain point,

[50:56] these characters just become dragons.

[50:58] Like,

[50:58] they have modified them so much

[50:59] that it's just dragons chasing them.

[51:01] And there was,

[51:02] so there was still part of me that was like,

[51:03] I wanted dinosaurs in my dinosaur movie.

[51:05] I didn't want dragons in my dinosaur movie.

[51:07] And so,

[51:08] maybe that's unfair and kind of like,

[51:09] because it's still a monster.

Stuart Wellington

[51:11] If you're going to mutate them,

[51:12] they got to be way weirder.

[51:14] They need like tentacle faces and all kinds of stuff.

[51:17] I don't know,

[51:17] because they try that with the Distortus Rex,

Elliott Kalan

[51:18] where it's like a weird thing.

[51:20] And even that,

[51:21] at a certain point,

[51:21] then it's like,

[51:22] well,

[51:22] now it feels like there's an alien after these people.

[51:25] And I feel like,

[51:25] if you're trying to tell me dinosaurs are cool,

[51:27] then give me cool dinosaurs doing cool stuff,

[51:29] as opposed to like,

[51:30] we got to make a new thing.

[51:31] Like,

[51:32] it's the same way that like,

[51:33] if you were going to make a movie about George Washington,

[51:36] you weren't going to be like,

[51:37] you know what,

[51:37] let's make it so that he can fly.

[51:40] Or even the recent Frankenstein.

[51:42] I'm with you,

Elliott Kalan

[51:42] dude.

Stuart Wellington

[51:42] But what we're already dealing,

[51:43] your issue is just that they have mutants at all.

[51:46] I'm saying,

[51:47] if you're going to,

[51:48] it's already built,

[51:49] baked in that we have mutants.

[51:51] I'm saying,

[51:51] make them fucking crazy.

[51:52] They go all the way.

[51:53] But it's kind of like,

Elliott Kalan

[51:54] I was watching the Guillermo del Toro Frankenstein,

[51:57] and there was a lot of stuff in it that I liked.

[51:58] But there are times when Frankenstein is just throwing people around,

[52:01] where I'm like,

[52:01] well,

[52:01] this is kind of like a superhero movie right now.

[52:03] And it's not what I,

[52:04] I want a gothic romance,

[52:05] not necessarily superhero action.

[52:07] Yeah,

[52:07] yeah.

[52:07] The moments where he's like,

Stuart Wellington

[52:09] he's just misunderstood.

[52:10] I'm like,

[52:10] he blasted that dude to fucking hell with one punch.

[52:15] Like,

[52:15] I think at this point,

[52:17] I mean,

[52:17] by that point,

Dan McCoy

[52:17] he's been pretty mistreated by the world.

[52:20] There's also a couple points where he's just,

Elliott Kalan

[52:21] he's just fighting people.

[52:22] And he's,

[52:23] all he has to do is go,

[52:24] hey,

[52:24] stop.

[52:25] Because he doesn't look that weird.

[52:26] He's just at,

[52:27] by the end of it,

[52:27] when he's got long hair,

[52:28] he's just a big scarred up guy.

[52:30] So he can just go,

[52:31] hey,

[52:32] wait,

[52:32] don't shoot me.

[52:33] He's super hot.

[52:34] Yeah,

[52:34] I mean,

[52:34] I'm sure that if you go to,

[52:35] even when he's new,

Dan McCoy

[52:36] he's super hot.

[52:37] If you go to Tumblr,

[52:38] there's got to be like,

[52:39] so much horny Frankenstein stuff already.

Stuart Wellington

[52:42] I'm just saying like,

[52:43] this dude shows up and immediately punches guys heads off.

[52:46] And the captain's like,

[52:48] oh no,

[52:48] I'll hear him out.

Elliott Kalan

[52:49] This guy's fine.

[52:50] You know what?

[52:51] He's got a good story.

[52:54] They're like,

[52:54] we've got to kill the monster.

[52:55] He goes,

[52:55] look,

[52:56] I've been captaining the ship for so long.

[52:57] I'm so bored of you people.

[52:58] A new person just walked in with a story to tell.

[53:01] I want to hear it.

[53:02] I want him to fucking spill the tea.

[53:04] Give me the gossip.

[53:06] So I,

[53:06] so I was feel torn.

[53:08] I was torn because I like monsters,

[53:09] but I really wanted dinosaurs.

[53:10] Stuart saying,

[53:11] mutant him up even more.

[53:12] Dan,

[53:12] what was your feeling about these kind of mutant dinosaurs?

Dan McCoy

[53:16] I mean,

[53:18] either of your ways would be better.

Stuart Wellington

[53:21] Like the problem is that.

[53:22] Talk about Avatar over here.

[53:23] Teach me your ways.

[53:24] This is the one,

Dan McCoy

[53:25] this is one of the few times where I'm like,

[53:27] no,

[53:27] don't take the middle path.

[53:29] I feel like Dan's,

[53:30] Dan's kind of like the Jake Sully

[53:31] of the podcast.

Stuart Wellington

[53:35] Elliot is Spider,

[53:36] of course.

[53:37] And I'm,

[53:37] what other characters are there?

Dan McCoy

[53:41] Like Young Sigourney Weaver.

[53:43] Yeah,

[53:43] Young Sigourney Weaver.

Elliott Kalan

[53:44] I still haven't seen any of those movies.

[53:46] I don't know any of these.

[53:46] I know who Jake Sully is,

[53:48] but every time,

[53:49] I think I might've told this story before.

[53:51] Every time I tried to see the original Avatar

[53:52] in the theaters,

[53:53] someone in my family either had to go,

[53:55] have surgery or died.

[53:57] And like,

[53:57] I tried to go the first time

[53:58] and my uncle had a heart attack

[54:00] and I was like,

[54:01] all right,

[54:01] I have to go visit him in the hospital.

[54:02] And then I bought tickets to see it.

[54:05] And that day,

[54:06] my fiancee,

[54:07] now wife's grandfather died.

[54:08] And she was like,

[54:09] it's okay.

[54:10] You can go to the movie.

[54:10] I know you want to see it.

[54:11] And I was like,

[54:11] that's not going to happen.

[54:13] Like,

[54:13] I'm not going to be like,

[54:15] yeah,

[54:15] that's terrible.

[54:15] Your grandfather died.

[54:16] I'll go to the movie.

[54:17] But I decided,

[54:17] I was like,

[54:18] something doesn't want me to see Avatar.

[54:20] So I guess,

[54:20] I don't need to see it that bad.

[54:21] You know,

[54:22] I don't want to know what is the escalation from that.

[54:24] Something there is that does not love an Avatar.

Stuart Wellington

[54:27] I feel like,

[54:27] I feel like a journey to the land of Pandora

[54:31] will kind of help you come to terms with your grief

[54:35] and the concept of somebody's spirit

[54:37] kind of passing on

[54:38] to kind of join a collective.

[54:40] And I think you would actually really,

[54:41] it would have really helped.

Elliott Kalan

[54:43] Yeah.

[54:43] Okay.

[54:44] Now I see what you're saying.

[54:45] So I should have seen Avatar

[54:46] no matter how many members of my family

[54:48] had to pay for it.

[54:48] But also like,

Dan McCoy

[54:49] I would love it

[54:50] if like you just jump in now.

[54:52] You just go to see number three now

[54:54] without having seen the other ones.

[54:56] Just see what you think.

[54:57] It looks pretty intense.

[54:58] But let's get back to this movie

[55:00] where...

[55:01] Oh, right, right.

[55:02] Jonathan Bailey...

[55:03] Jiravatar World.

[55:04] Mahershal Ali are in the lab

[55:06] we saw in the cold open.

[55:07] They find out there's a tunnel

[55:09] that leads to a boat.

[55:10] But before that,

[55:11] the helicopter arrives.

[55:12] They all run for it.

[55:13] But the giant mutant dino

[55:14] from the opening reappears.

[55:16] I do love this bit.

[55:17] Eats the copter in midair.

[55:18] I do love this bit

Stuart Wellington

[55:19] because these guys are like,

[55:21] oh, well, nobody's here.

[55:22] Let's go home to our families

[55:23] and be safe forever.

[55:25] And they're like,

[55:25] nope, Jonathan Bailey shot a flare.

Dan McCoy

[55:28] Let's go get eaten.

[55:30] Everyone escapes in the funnel.

[55:31] The funnel.

[55:32] The tunnel.

Elliott Kalan

[55:33] They get into a funnel.

[55:34] I mean, a tunnel is kind of

[55:35] like a funnel in a way.

[55:36] Or a funnel is like a tunnel

[55:37] that just gets narrower.

[55:38] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[55:39] Except for a pharma villain

[55:41] who abandons everyone,

[55:43] races for the boat in a jeep.

[55:45] They're stopped by gate,

[55:46] but Isabella squeezes through

Stuart Wellington

[55:48] to try and open it.

[55:48] Do you like the bit

[55:49] where this jeep keeps alerting him

[55:51] that there's pedestrians

[55:52] in the road

[55:53] and the pedestrians

[55:53] are always dinosaurs?

Elliott Kalan

[55:54] I honestly enjoyed that.

[55:56] I thought that was funny.

[55:56] Yeah.

[55:57] He says,

[55:58] there's a pedestrian ahead of you

[55:59] and it's the Distortus Rex.

[56:00] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[56:02] Xenomorph dino.

[56:03] Looks like it's gonna eat them all.

[56:05] But this is,

Elliott Kalan

[56:06] let's describe it.

[56:07] It's like a xenom,

[56:08] it's like a Rancor body shape.

[56:09] Yeah.

[56:09] It's got big hands with arms.

[56:11] Yeah.

[56:12] But it also has two extra little arms

[56:13] and it's got-

[56:15] I like that part.

Dan McCoy

[56:16] Like an alien bullet head.

[56:18] Yeah.

[56:18] The only thing is-

[56:19] It's got a big tumor on its head

[56:20] or something.

[56:21] The only thing is,

Stuart Wellington

[56:21] if you're gonna go,

[56:22] you're gonna start going

[56:23] a little bit wild with the design,

[56:25] you want a little more stuff there.

[56:28] So like,

[56:28] if you're gonna put

[56:29] an extra set of little arms,

[56:30] have those little arms

[56:31] doing weird shit.

[56:33] Yeah.

[56:33] Like,

[56:33] have them doing stuff.

Dan McCoy

[56:35] It looks like the mutant dino

[56:37] might eat them all,

[56:38] but the pharma villain

[56:39] arrives just in time

[56:39] to be a distraction

[56:40] and get eaten himself.

[56:42] But luckily,

[56:43] his arm gets bitten off first

[56:45] so they can get the sample case.

[56:48] Ali uses a flare

[56:50] to distract the mutant dino

[56:51] to save the others

[56:52] swimming away underwater

[56:53] while they get in the boat.

[56:56] So he's briefly missing

[56:58] presumed dino eating

[56:59] except immediately

[57:01] he reappears.

[57:02] He shows up

Elliott Kalan

[57:02] with no explanation

[57:03] as to how he avoided

[57:04] the big bad worst dino monster

[57:07] of the movie.

[57:08] Yeah.

[57:08] Which was literally

[57:09] about to eat him,

[57:10] moments away from eating him.

Dan McCoy

[57:12] Yeah.

[57:12] It's like yada, yada, yada.

[57:13] You're not interested

[57:14] in the details

[57:15] of how this happened.

[57:15] You don't care.

Elliott Kalan

[57:16] You just don't want

[57:16] to see Mahershali die.

[57:17] We understand.

[57:18] We'll just have him

[57:18] get out of there, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[57:20] Yeah.

[57:20] I mean, I feel like

[57:21] do you think that like

[57:23] how much better

[57:24] would you have liked it

[57:25] if it cut away

[57:25] and you assumed he was dead

[57:27] and then it cut back

[57:28] and he like does something

[57:29] awesome to get away?

[57:30] Like, would you want

[57:31] to see him doing

[57:31] something awesome

[57:32] or is it better

[57:33] to imagine something awesome?

Elliott Kalan

[57:34] Would I want him

[57:35] to see him do something awesome?

[57:36] Yeah.

[57:37] For sure.

[57:38] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[57:38] 100%.

[57:38] Well, what I don't want

[57:39] is like the movie

[57:40] to be like,

[57:41] uh-oh,

[57:42] he's definitely gonna die

[57:43] and then with no explanation

[57:45] it's like,

[57:45] no, no, he's a nice character

[57:46] so of course

[57:47] we can't kill him.

[57:48] Here he is.

Elliott Kalan

[57:48] Not since Rise of Skywalker

[57:50] when Chewbacca gets

[57:52] into a spaceship.

[57:53] The spaceship explodes

[57:54] and they go,

[57:55] oh no, Chewbacca.

[57:56] And then the next scene

[57:57] is Chewbacca being led

[57:58] into a room as a prisoner

[58:00] aha, he's not dead.

[58:01] Like, he was like,

[58:02] all right,

[58:02] you're not gonna,

[58:03] there's no suspense,

[58:04] you don't let us feel

[58:05] the emotion,

[58:05] there's no explanation,

[58:06] it doesn't matter,

[58:07] you know?

Dan McCoy

[58:07] Anyway, we're at the final scene.

[58:10] Also, I will say,

Elliott Kalan

[58:10] wait, I'm just realizing this,

[58:12] if you were trying

[58:13] to make mutant dinosaurs

[58:14] and you're a heartless corporation,

[58:18] you're a heartless corporation,

[58:19] you're trying to make

[58:20] mutant dinosaurs,

[58:21] you have one that is

[58:22] too ugly

[58:23] and too disgusting

[58:24] to put in public display,

[58:26] would you,

[58:26] A,

[58:27] kill that dinosaur

[58:28] or B,

[58:29] they say in the movie,

[58:31] it's too expensive

[58:32] to kill these dinosaurs

[58:33] and it's like,

[58:34] I don't understand.

[58:35] Either way,

[58:36] either way,

[58:37] it's a loss on the books

[58:38] so I don't understand

[58:39] why killing it,

[58:40] what keeping it alive

[58:40] means that you can

[58:41] write it off

[58:41] as a business expense

[58:42] but killing it you can't.

Stuart Wellington

[58:44] That thing probably

[58:45] eats a ton of stuff,

[58:46] right?

[58:46] Yeah, exactly.

[58:47] Whereas if you kill it,

[58:48] you can eat it.

[58:49] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[58:49] That's a good one.

[58:50] That's actually a good point,

[58:51] Dan.

[58:51] Yeah.

[58:53] Anyway,

[58:53] so they're all boating away

[58:55] including Babo,

[58:56] Babo,

[58:58] Baby Dino Delores,

Elliott Kalan

[58:59] Babo Dino,

Dan McCoy

[59:01] and Scarjo

[59:03] and J-Bales

[59:04] decide to release

[59:05] the medical.

[59:05] I feel like Babo Dino

Elliott Kalan

[59:06] is the kind of character

[59:07] you would see

[59:07] in like the American version

[59:08] of Heavy Metal

[59:09] where it's like

[59:09] a sexy dinosaur woman

[59:10] who like rides a motorcycle

[59:12] around in a

[59:13] bunch of bucklantic future.

Dan McCoy

[59:14] Oh, man.

Stuart Wellington

[59:15] But our,

[59:16] I'm like,

[59:17] yeah,

[59:17] it's European

[59:18] so it's actually

[59:19] really deep and important.

Elliott Kalan

[59:21] It's actually

[59:21] really philosophical

[59:22] even though it's mostly

[59:23] just this dinosaur woman

[59:24] killing guys

[59:24] and then having sex with them.

Dan McCoy

[59:26] Our leads decide

[59:27] to release

[59:28] the dinosaur.

[59:28] they decide

[59:29] to release

[59:30] the medical info

[59:31] open source

[59:32] rather than

[59:33] getting their huge payday.

[59:35] Open source?

[59:36] Open source.

[59:37] They open a thesaurus

Elliott Kalan

[59:39] They open a thesaurus

[59:41] and that's a dinosaur

[59:42] with thes.

[59:43] We tried to breed

[59:44] a thesaurus.

[59:46] We tried to made

[59:46] a dictionary

[59:47] with a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Dan McCoy

[59:48] It's full of words

[59:49] that mean the same thing

[59:50] inside.

[59:52] Anyway,

[59:53] the nightmare's over.

[59:54] No bloops.

[59:54] They cut it open

[59:54] and all the words

Elliott Kalan

[59:55] come spilling out.

[59:56] Oh, there's no bloops.

[59:57] I didn't even check

[59:58] if there were any bloops.

[59:58] Yeah, I checked

[59:58] if there were bloops.

[59:59] Is there a mid-credit scene?

Dan McCoy

[1:00:01] No.

[1:00:02] I'm including that

[1:00:03] under the umbrella

[1:00:04] of bloops.

[1:00:05] Okay.

[1:00:06] Bloops has expanded

[1:00:07] in its meaning.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:09] I don't like this.

[1:00:09] That's like calling

[1:00:10] a marine reptile

[1:00:11] a dinosaur.

[1:00:11] I don't like this.

[1:00:12] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:14] So, Jurassic Park

[1:00:15] Rebirth.

[1:00:16] Jurassic World, rather.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:17] I kept calling it

[1:00:19] Jurassic Park Rebirth

[1:00:20] and not Jurassic World.

[1:00:21] And it just shows

[1:00:22] what the,

[1:00:23] to me at least,

[1:00:23] in my mind,

[1:00:24] being a kid in 1983,

[1:00:26] what a huge cultural impact

[1:00:28] Jurassic Park had on me

[1:00:29] and how relatively minor

[1:00:30] the Jurassic World one

[1:00:31] is that even though

[1:00:32] this movie is called

[1:00:33] Jurassic World Rebirth,

[1:00:34] in my head

[1:00:35] and in my conversations

[1:00:36] with people,

[1:00:36] I keep referring to it

[1:00:37] as Jurassic Park Rebirth.

[1:00:39] Yeah.

[1:00:40] It's just,

[1:00:40] that's what I think of it as,

[1:00:41] you know?

Dan McCoy

[1:00:42] Yeah, certainly.

[1:00:44] Well, our final judgments

[1:00:45] on Jurassic World Rebirth,

[1:00:48] which I see now,

[1:00:50] I'm like looking,

[1:00:51] I'm looking ahead

[1:00:51] at my like letters question

[1:00:53] email.

[1:00:55] I emailed myself

[1:00:56] and it says

[1:00:56] letters queues

[1:00:57] for JPR.

[1:00:59] I didn't even put

[1:01:00] JWR.

[1:01:02] Yeah.

[1:01:02] Anyway.

[1:01:04] So, our final judgments,

[1:01:06] is this a good bad movie,

[1:01:07] a bad bad movie

[1:01:07] or a movie kind of like,

[1:01:09] it's a bad bad movie.

[1:01:11] I got really kind of angry

[1:01:13] at this movie,

[1:01:13] not because it's like

[1:01:14] the worst made thing

[1:01:16] in the world,

[1:01:17] but just because it's like,

[1:01:18] it felt like the most

[1:01:19] bankrupt thing.

[1:01:21] Like, it just,

[1:01:22] there is no clear reason

[1:01:23] why this was made

[1:01:24] and thus it was

[1:01:25] boring to watch.

[1:01:27] That's my review.

[1:01:29] Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:30] Yeah, I mean,

[1:01:31] guys,

[1:01:31] why is it so hard

[1:01:32] to make a fucking movie

[1:01:33] with dinosaurs,

[1:01:34] apparently?

[1:01:34] like,

[1:01:35] it should be super cool

[1:01:37] and exciting.

[1:01:37] As a kid,

[1:01:38] there's nothing in my life

[1:01:40] that I was more interested

[1:01:41] in than dinosaurs.

[1:01:42] So, you should be able

[1:01:43] to easily put dinosaurs

[1:01:44] in a movie

[1:01:45] and make it super exciting.

[1:01:47] But for some reason,

[1:01:48] it's impossible.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:49] I think maybe that's

[1:01:51] the hard part

[1:01:51] is that dinosaurs

[1:01:52] are instantly

[1:01:53] so much more interesting

[1:01:54] than anything

[1:01:55] that the human characters

[1:01:57] can be doing

[1:01:57] most of the time.

[1:01:58] And I think that

[1:01:59] the first Jurassic Park,

[1:02:01] one of the things

[1:02:01] that's so great about it

[1:02:02] is that all those characters

[1:02:03] are,

[1:02:04] what you're doing

[1:02:05] is you are experiencing

[1:02:06] through them

[1:02:06] the wonder

[1:02:07] and the excitement

[1:02:08] of seeing a dinosaur

[1:02:09] for the first time.

[1:02:10] And now that that,

[1:02:12] the seal is off that,

[1:02:12] you can never do that again.

[1:02:14] And when they try

[1:02:15] to do it here,

[1:02:15] it feels like,

[1:02:16] yeah, yeah,

[1:02:16] we saw this happen

[1:02:17] in Jurassic Park.

[1:02:17] But it means

[1:02:18] that you've got to figure out

[1:02:19] how to make those characters

[1:02:20] as interesting as,

[1:02:22] or as compelling

[1:02:22] as the dinosaurs,

[1:02:23] which is really hard to do,

[1:02:24] which is just tough to do.

[1:02:25] But this is,

[1:02:26] I'm going to call it

[1:02:27] Bad Bad

[1:02:27] just because of our categories.

[1:02:28] Yeah, it's Bad Bad.

[1:02:29] But this movie is fine.

[1:02:30] It's not a terrible movie.

[1:02:32] It's just like,

[1:02:33] it's hard to make the,

[1:02:35] what is this,

[1:02:36] like the seventh movie

[1:02:37] in the series or something?

[1:02:38] It's hard to do

[1:02:39] the seventh movie

[1:02:40] in the series

[1:02:40] when the first movie

[1:02:41] is great.

[1:02:42] It's hard,

[1:02:43] it's just,

[1:02:44] it feels,

[1:02:45] there's,

[1:02:45] I think the people

[1:02:46] who made it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:46] Do you have any affection

[1:02:46] for any of the others?

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:48] Not really.

[1:02:49] I mean,

[1:02:49] Jurassic Park 3

[1:02:49] is kind of fun.

[1:02:50] Yeah.

[1:02:50] And the sequence

[1:02:51] in Jurassic Park 2

[1:02:52] where the transverse

[1:02:53] is loose in California

[1:02:54] or whatever

[1:02:54] is kind of fun.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:55] Well, also the,

[1:02:56] what do you call it,

[1:02:57] the trailers

[1:02:58] over the cliff

[1:02:59] in Lost World

[1:03:00] is also a great sequence.

[1:03:02] Yeah, that's fun too.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:03] But I think that the,

[1:03:05] it's just so hard

[1:03:06] to match that original movie,

[1:03:07] but also,

[1:03:08] like we were saying,

[1:03:09] everyone who's making

[1:03:10] this movie

[1:03:10] has done great work

[1:03:11] before.

[1:03:12] There's no one,

[1:03:13] this is not one of those times

[1:03:14] where someone who is,

[1:03:15] who shouldn't be doing

[1:03:16] this movie

[1:03:16] is doing it.

[1:03:17] And I think

[1:03:18] you just have to ask yourself

[1:03:19] kind of like,

[1:03:20] yeah,

[1:03:20] why,

[1:03:20] I think the question

[1:03:21] that was never fully asked

[1:03:22] was,

[1:03:23] why are we doing this movie?

[1:03:24] Like,

[1:03:24] what makes it special

[1:03:26] again?

[1:03:28] And I think,

[1:03:28] or maybe they asked

[1:03:29] that question

[1:03:29] and they just didn't hit

[1:03:29] on quite the right answer for it.

[1:03:31] I don't know,

[1:03:31] but that's,

[1:03:32] to make a Jurassic,

[1:03:33] to make a dinosaur movie,

[1:03:34] you gotta figure out

[1:03:34] what makes this special now

[1:03:35] because we've got so many of them.

[1:03:37] And it's the same thing

[1:03:37] that's affecting,

[1:03:38] I feel like,

[1:03:39] superhero movies

[1:03:39] where you gotta be like,

[1:03:41] well,

[1:03:41] why does this superhero story

[1:03:42] have to be told

[1:03:44] other than

[1:03:44] we're just making

[1:03:45] more superhero stuff?

[1:03:46] And it's harder and harder

[1:03:47] for them to answer that question.

[1:03:48] Superhero.

[1:03:49] Soupy,

[1:03:49] well,

[1:03:50] that's what Soupy Sales

[1:03:50] was eating a radioactive bowl of soup

[1:03:52] and became a soupy hero.

[1:03:54] He has the power of soup,

[1:03:55] yeah.

[1:03:56] Why not?

[1:03:56] I'm calling it back,

[1:03:57] but it's fine.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:59] Why was he called Soupy Sales?

[1:04:01] I think it's just a silly name.

[1:04:03] Oh,

[1:04:03] okay.

[1:04:05] Ask and answer,

[1:04:06] sure.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:08] I wish there was more to it

[1:04:09] than that,

[1:04:09] yeah.

[1:04:10] Yeah.

[1:04:11] Good evening.

S4

[1:04:16] Thanks for tuning in

[1:04:17] to 101.1 Max Fun.

[1:04:20] It's midnight here

[1:04:21] on Host to Coast

[1:04:22] and we've got Sarah

[1:04:23] from Michigan

[1:04:23] on Line 1.

S5

[1:04:25] Hi,

[1:04:25] I'm calling in for some help.

[1:04:27] I used to love reading,

[1:04:28] but between grad school,

[1:04:29] having kids,

[1:04:30] and the general state

[1:04:31] of the world,

[1:04:31] I can't seem to pick up a book

[1:04:33] and stick with it anymore.

S4

[1:04:34] Sarah,

[1:04:35] this is an easy one.

[1:04:36] Just listen to

[1:04:37] Reading Glasses,

[1:04:38] a podcast designed

[1:04:39] to help you read better.

[1:04:40] Bria and Mallory

[1:04:41] will get all the pressure,

[1:04:42] shame,

[1:04:42] and guilt

[1:04:43] out of your reading life.

[1:04:44] You'll be finishing books

[1:04:45] you love in no time.

S5

[1:04:46] Great.

[1:04:46] That sounds amazing.

[1:04:47] Also,

[1:04:48] I do think my husband

[1:04:48] is cheating on me

[1:04:49] with Mothman.

[1:04:50] Can you help me

[1:04:50] with that one?

S4

[1:04:51] Ooh,

[1:04:51] I don't think they cover that.

[1:04:52] Reading Glasses,

[1:04:53] every Thursday

[1:04:53] on Maximum Fun.

S6

[1:05:10] companion to

[1:05:10] The Greatest Generation,

[1:05:11] our hit show

[1:05:12] about back catalog

[1:05:13] Star Trek

[1:05:14] that you grew up with.

S7

[1:05:15] It's a comedy podcast

[1:05:16] by two folks

[1:05:17] who used to be

[1:05:18] video producers,

[1:05:19] so it's a serious mix

[1:05:20] of comedy and insight

[1:05:21] that fits right into

[1:05:22] the Maximum Fun

[1:05:23] network of shows.

S6

[1:05:24] And Greatest Trek

[1:05:25] is one of the most

[1:05:26] popular Star Trek

[1:05:27] podcasts in the world.

S7

[1:05:28] So if you're following

[1:05:29] Lower Decks,

[1:05:30] Prodigy,

[1:05:30] or Strange New Worlds,

[1:05:32] come hang out with us

[1:05:33] every Friday

[1:05:33] as we roast and review

[1:05:35] our favorite

[1:05:36] Star Trek shows.

S6

[1:05:37] It's on MaximumFun.org,

[1:05:39] YouTube,

[1:05:39] or your podcatching app.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:43] Let's do some plugs.

[1:05:45] Elliot,

[1:05:45] I believe there's some

[1:05:46] plugs for us,

[1:05:49] the Flophouse

[1:05:49] that you are

[1:05:50] in charge of.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:51] We have some plugs,

[1:05:53] and I don't just mean

[1:05:53] hair plugs

[1:05:54] from my rapidly

[1:05:55] balding head.

[1:05:56] We have some

[1:05:57] Flophouse stuff

[1:05:58] that we're going to do.

[1:05:58] Should I get hair plugs?

[1:05:59] Right into the Flophouse.

[1:06:00] Let me know.

[1:06:02] As always,

[1:06:03] Flop TV continues.

[1:06:04] It's the first Saturday

[1:06:05] of every month,

[1:06:06] September through February.

[1:06:08] When this episode drops,

[1:06:10] I believe we will be

[1:06:11] doing our

[1:06:12] Flop TV episode

[1:06:14] tonight

[1:06:14] on Saturday,

[1:06:16] January 3rd

[1:06:17] for Dr. Dolittle,

[1:06:18] the 1960s version,

[1:06:19] because this is

[1:06:20] Flopster Peace Theater.

[1:06:21] This season,

[1:06:22] we are going back

[1:06:23] in time.

[1:06:23] We started with the 2000s

[1:06:25] with The Avengers

[1:06:26] of Pluto Nash,

[1:06:27] and we've been going

[1:06:27] decade by decade.

[1:06:29] December,

[1:06:29] last month,

[1:06:30] we did Zardoz,

[1:06:30] a movie that I think

[1:06:31] I love after watching

[1:06:33] it again,

[1:06:33] but now we're doing

[1:06:34] Dr. Dolittle,

[1:06:35] a movie that I

[1:06:36] barely tolerated,

[1:06:38] and so we'll be

[1:06:39] talking about that

[1:06:40] tonight,

[1:06:41] January 3rd

[1:06:42] on Flop TV.

[1:06:43] Go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com

[1:06:45] for anyone who hasn't

[1:06:45] heard these ads

[1:06:46] or seen Flop TV.

[1:06:47] Flop TV is the one-hour

[1:06:48] TV version of the Flop House.

[1:06:50] You get us talking

[1:06:51] about a movie,

[1:06:51] but you also get

[1:06:52] a presentation.

[1:06:54] You get a video segment.

[1:06:55] You get an opening video.

[1:06:57] You get, like,

[1:06:57] actual produced elements,

[1:06:59] and we answer

[1:06:59] questions from

[1:07:01] the viewers

[1:07:01] at the end of the show.

[1:07:03] They're super fun.

[1:07:04] I love doing them.

[1:07:05] Everyone always has

[1:07:05] a good time,

[1:07:06] so that's

[1:07:07] theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[1:07:10] If you missed

[1:07:10] the season up till now,

[1:07:12] that's okay.

[1:07:13] If you buy tickets

[1:07:13] to those episodes,

[1:07:14] you get access

[1:07:14] to the recordings,

[1:07:16] which will stay online

[1:07:17] and available

[1:07:17] through the end

[1:07:18] of February

[1:07:19] because in January,

[1:07:21] it's Dr. Dolittle,

[1:07:21] and in February,

[1:07:22] it is Plan 9

[1:07:23] from Outer Space,

[1:07:24] a movie we have

[1:07:24] never covered,

[1:07:25] even though it's

[1:07:25] maybe the most famous

[1:07:26] bad movie

[1:07:26] that there ever was.

[1:07:28] So,

[1:07:28] that's Flop TV,

[1:07:30] theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[1:07:32] Let's say you want

[1:07:33] to see us in person.

[1:07:34] You got one opportunity

[1:07:35] if you can get yourself

[1:07:36] to San Francisco

[1:07:37] on January 25th.

[1:07:39] As Arnold Schwarzenegger says,

[1:07:41] get to the chopper,

[1:07:42] and by chopper,

[1:07:43] I mean San Francisco

[1:07:43] Sketch Fest.

[1:07:45] We will be appearing.

[1:07:46] You've heard of the

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:46] San Francisco treat.

[1:07:47] In this case,

[1:07:48] we are the treat

[1:07:49] in San Francisco.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:50] Yes.

[1:07:51] It's Sunday,

[1:07:52] January 25th,

[1:07:53] in the afternoon,

[1:07:54] 4 p.m.

[1:07:54] at Cobb's Comedy Club.

[1:07:56] We are going to be

[1:07:57] talking about the movie

[1:07:58] Master of Disguise,

[1:07:59] right?

[1:08:00] Starring Dana Garvey.

[1:08:01] Right?

[1:08:02] Elliot says,

[1:08:03] with trepidation.

[1:08:04] With trepidation,

[1:08:04] am I getting it wrong?

[1:08:05] A movie,

[1:08:06] this is one of the movies

[1:08:07] we have been asked about

[1:08:08] the most,

[1:08:09] of all the movies

[1:08:10] to do on the show.

[1:08:11] So,

[1:08:11] we'll be talking about it

[1:08:12] Sunday,

[1:08:13] January 25th,

[1:08:14] 2026,

[1:08:15] 4 p.m.

[1:08:16] at Cobb's Comedy Club

[1:08:17] as part of

[1:08:17] San Francisco Sketch Fest.

[1:08:18] We had such a great time

[1:08:19] last year at

[1:08:20] San Francisco Sketch Fest.

[1:08:21] We're so glad

[1:08:22] to be going there again.

[1:08:22] Go to sfsketchfest.com

[1:08:25] for schedule and tickets.

[1:08:26] Again,

[1:08:26] that's sfsketchfest.com

[1:08:29] to buy tickets

[1:08:30] to see us

[1:08:31] January 25th

[1:08:32] at Cobb's Comedy Club.

[1:08:34] And let's say

[1:08:35] that's not even enough

[1:08:35] Flophouse for you.

[1:08:36] Let's say

[1:08:37] you wanted to read

[1:08:38] a whole chapter

[1:08:39] of a book

[1:08:39] about podcasting

[1:08:41] and the Flophouse.

[1:08:43] Why?

[1:08:43] You could just pick up

[1:08:43] my book,

[1:08:44] Joke Farming,

[1:08:45] How to Write Comedy

[1:08:46] and Other Nonsense

[1:08:46] by me,

[1:08:47] Elite Kalin

[1:08:47] from the University

[1:08:48] of Chicago Press.

[1:08:49] It's available

[1:08:50] in bookstores anywhere

[1:08:51] or buy it online.

[1:08:52] I prefer you to buy it

[1:08:53] through your independent bookstore.

[1:08:54] But if you don't have

[1:08:54] an independent bookstore

[1:08:55] nearby,

[1:08:56] get it online,

[1:08:57] maybe from an independent

[1:08:58] bookstore.

[1:08:59] But that's Joke Farming.

[1:09:00] There's a whole chapter

[1:09:01] in there about podcasting

[1:09:02] where I talk about

[1:09:02] what I've learned

[1:09:03] about writing

[1:09:04] for a podcast

[1:09:05] or rather

[1:09:06] devising a podcast

[1:09:07] through the Flophouse.

[1:09:10] And that's my book,

[1:09:11] Joke Farming,

[1:09:11] How to Write Comedy

[1:09:12] and Other Nonsense.

[1:09:12] Do you guys have

[1:09:13] any things you would

[1:09:13] like to plug?

[1:09:15] Flophouse or not

[1:09:15] Flophouse related?

[1:09:17] Nope.

[1:09:17] So it's shaking

[1:09:18] his head no.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:19] No, you know,

[1:09:20] we're just hanging out,

[1:09:21] man.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:23] Sounds good.

[1:09:24] Just hanging out.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:26] Let's answer some

[1:09:27] letters from listeners.

[1:09:29] This first one

[1:09:29] is from Patrick,

[1:09:31] last name withheld.

[1:09:32] Who writes,

[1:09:34] Hey, peaches.

[1:09:35] Your recent discussion

[1:09:36] of The Crow remake,

[1:09:38] a movie I've not seen,

[1:09:39] reminded me of my only

[1:09:40] experience of the 90s,

[1:09:41] The Crow,

[1:09:42] also a movie I've not seen.

[1:09:44] Hmm.

[1:09:45] One of my roommates

[1:09:45] in college thought

[1:09:46] The Crow was the coolest

[1:09:48] movie ever made.

[1:09:49] He dressed as the titular

[1:09:51] crow for Halloween

[1:09:52] on more than one occasion,

[1:09:53] listened to the soundtrack

[1:09:54] a lot,

[1:09:55] et cetera.

[1:09:56] His favorite line...

[1:09:57] I wonder what that

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:58] et cetera stands in for.

[1:10:00] What else can you do

[1:10:01] with The Crow?

Dan McCoy

[1:10:03] He and his girlfriend

[1:10:05] were killed by...

[1:10:06] Oh, no.

[1:10:07] But he came back.

[1:10:08] Yeah.

[1:10:09] He played guitar

[1:10:10] on the roof

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:11] in the rain.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:12] Yeah.

[1:10:13] His favorite line

[1:10:14] from the movie

[1:10:14] was The Crow's response

[1:10:16] to being told,

[1:10:17] move and you're dead,

[1:10:18] which is,

[1:10:19] you say move

[1:10:20] and I'm dead,

[1:10:21] but I say,

[1:10:21] I'm dead and I move.

[1:10:24] I'll admit that

[1:10:25] at the time...

[1:10:25] That's deep.

[1:10:27] At the time,

[1:10:27] I thought this line ruled,

[1:10:28] but he repeated it

[1:10:29] so often that it

[1:10:30] eventually lost

[1:10:31] its luster for me.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:33] This is the opposite

[1:10:34] experience I had

[1:10:35] with my college roommate,

[1:10:36] Brian Chan,

[1:10:36] who is still a dear friend.

[1:10:38] He liked to quote

[1:10:39] the least memorable lines

[1:10:41] from Star Wars

[1:10:42] and so sometimes

[1:10:43] if he was like

[1:10:44] done with his work

[1:10:45] or something

[1:10:45] and he was just relaxing,

[1:10:46] he'd go,

[1:10:47] oh, thank the maker.

[1:10:48] This oil bath

[1:10:48] is going to feel so good.

[1:10:50] I just loved that

[1:10:51] that was the line

[1:10:52] he quoted all the time.

[1:10:53] I still love it

[1:10:54] when he says it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:55] Pretty great.

[1:10:55] Any time it has

[1:10:57] like a bunch

[1:10:58] of fucking words,

[1:10:59] you know that's

[1:10:59] a good quote.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:01] So my question is,

[1:11:03] are there any lines

[1:11:04] from movies you thought

[1:11:05] were amazing

[1:11:05] the first time

[1:11:06] but lost their appeal

[1:11:09] over time?

[1:11:10] We can maybe call this

[1:11:11] the David Mamet effect

[1:11:12] because lines like,

[1:11:13] everyone needs money,

[1:11:14] that's why they call it money,

[1:11:16] sound cool maybe

[1:11:17] when Danny DeVito

[1:11:18] says it,

[1:11:18] but end up sounding

[1:11:19] more confusing

[1:11:20] when repeated

[1:11:20] in real life.

[1:11:21] Honestly,

[1:11:22] even when I saw that

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:24] in the trailer

[1:11:24] for Heist,

[1:11:25] I was like,

[1:11:26] that doesn't make any sense.

[1:11:27] I mean,

[1:11:28] I think that

[1:11:28] it has the rhythm

[1:11:29] of a cool line,

[1:11:30] but yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:31] A lot of these

[1:11:32] are just naturally

[1:11:32] going to be stuff

[1:11:33] like over quoted shit.

[1:11:35] Like,

[1:11:36] I don't know.

[1:11:37] I mean,

[1:11:38] like obviously

[1:11:38] you got your Borats

[1:11:39] and your Austin Powers.

[1:11:41] And your Austin Powers.

[1:11:41] Yeah,

[1:11:42] you're the man now,

[1:11:44] dog,

[1:11:44] that sort of thing.

[1:11:45] I mean,

[1:11:45] I thought those movies

[1:11:47] were both funny

[1:11:48] at the time,

[1:11:48] but were not like

[1:11:49] my favorites.

[1:11:51] But like,

[1:11:51] also like,

[1:11:52] Holy Grail,

[1:11:53] for instance,

[1:11:54] was a favorite of mine

[1:11:55] until it was ruined

[1:11:56] by decades of nerds.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:58] If Borat was one

[1:11:59] of your favorites,

[1:12:00] that would be such

[1:12:01] a change

[1:12:02] in how I perceived you.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:04] I mean,

[1:12:05] I have to say,

[1:12:06] like there was a moment

[1:12:06] when,

[1:12:07] and maybe this is

[1:12:09] not acceptable,

[1:12:09] I don't know.

[1:12:10] I remember seeing Borat

[1:12:11] in the theaters

[1:12:11] for the first time

[1:12:12] and it was one

[1:12:13] of the funniest

[1:12:13] experiences

[1:12:14] I've had

[1:12:15] in terms of

[1:12:16] seeing a movie

[1:12:16] live with an audience.

[1:12:17] And I was like,

[1:12:17] this is the cutting edge

[1:12:18] of comedy right now.

[1:12:19] And to see that

[1:12:20] so quickly go

[1:12:21] from the cutting edge

[1:12:21] to,

[1:12:22] oh,

[1:12:23] this again.

[1:12:23] Okay,

[1:12:24] more of this.

[1:12:24] Was a dispiriting thing.

[1:12:26] I mean,

[1:12:26] Austin Powers

[1:12:26] was kind of seeing that

[1:12:27] and being like,

[1:12:28] oh,

[1:12:28] this feels like

[1:12:28] a new thing.

[1:12:29] Like,

[1:12:30] this is a new fun thing.

[1:12:31] And then it so quickly

[1:12:31] became,

[1:12:32] ugh,

[1:12:33] more of this,

[1:12:33] I can't take it.

[1:12:35] But what's a quote

[1:12:36] that you guys thought

[1:12:36] was cool

[1:12:37] and it meant something

[1:12:38] to you

[1:12:38] and then it stopped

[1:12:39] meaning things to you?

[1:12:40] You know?

Dan McCoy

[1:12:41] Well,

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:44] Fight Club

[1:12:45] or something.

[1:12:47] Yeah,

[1:12:48] I mean,

[1:12:48] like,

[1:12:48] there's a lot of

[1:12:49] quotes out there

[1:12:50] from like,

[1:12:50] something from

[1:12:51] American Beauty.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:52] Stuff I liked

[1:12:53] but then the wrong people

[1:12:54] jumped on the train,

[1:12:56] you know,

[1:12:56] like Fight Club

[1:12:57] or,

[1:12:58] you know,

[1:12:58] like The Big Lebowski.

[1:13:00] I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:02] There's a line

[1:13:03] that Joseph Cotton

[1:13:05] has in Shadow of a Doubt

[1:13:06] that I used to love

[1:13:08] because it was such a,

[1:13:08] I was like,

[1:13:09] this is the darkest thing

[1:13:10] I can imagine

[1:13:10] from an old movie

[1:13:11] where he talks about,

[1:13:13] he's talking to his niece,

[1:13:14] young Charlie,

[1:13:15] who's learning

[1:13:16] that he is a serial killer.

[1:13:17] It's a great movie.

[1:13:18] I highly recommend it.

[1:13:19] He goes,

[1:13:20] says something about like,

[1:13:21] goes,

[1:13:21] what do you know

[1:13:22] about the world?

[1:13:23] Do you know

[1:13:23] if you tear the,

[1:13:24] if you rip the fronts

[1:13:24] off houses,

[1:13:25] you'd find swine inside?

[1:13:26] The world's a hell.

[1:13:27] What does it matter

[1:13:28] what happens in it?

[1:13:29] And I remember being like,

[1:13:30] what,

[1:13:31] like,

[1:13:31] I don't agree with that.

[1:13:32] Like,

[1:13:32] what a cool,

[1:13:33] like,

[1:13:33] kind of harsh thing

[1:13:33] for a character to say,

[1:13:34] especially in an old movie.

[1:13:35] And the older I get,

[1:13:36] the more I'm like,

[1:13:37] I like,

[1:13:38] I don't,

[1:13:38] I'm not as attracted

[1:13:39] to darkness

[1:13:40] as I once was.

[1:13:41] And so maybe that's something

[1:13:42] that I don't find

[1:13:42] as cool as I once.

[1:13:43] I still think it's a great line

[1:13:44] for that character

[1:13:45] that I'm no longer like,

[1:13:46] what a,

[1:13:47] what a cool,

[1:13:48] dark thing

[1:13:48] for a character to say.

[1:13:49] You know?

[1:13:49] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:50] This is a tough one

[1:13:51] because it requires me

[1:13:52] to both remember

[1:13:53] lines from movies

[1:13:54] and also remember ones

[1:13:55] I don't like anymore.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:57] You have trouble

[1:13:57] remembering whether characters

[1:13:58] rip their own ding-dongs

[1:13:59] off in movies.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:00] I think I,

[1:14:01] I think the record

[1:14:03] will show

[1:14:03] that I'm pretty good

[1:14:04] at that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:05] And as we know,

[1:14:06] Dan is,

[1:14:06] has Jackie Chan blindness

[1:14:07] and Jackie Chan-nesia

[1:14:09] isn't unable to remember

[1:14:10] if Jackie Chan is in movies.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:11] I mean,

[1:14:12] he's not that noticeable

[1:14:13] of a presence

[1:14:14] in most movies.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:15] That's true.

[1:14:16] Fades into the background.

[1:14:17] Wallflower.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:18] Uh,

[1:14:19] this next letter

[1:14:20] is from Helen Mary-

[1:14:21] Wallflower sounds like

[1:14:22] a good Jackie Chan movie title.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:24] Yeah,

[1:14:25] well,

[1:14:25] he,

[1:14:25] a young Jackie Chan,

[1:14:26] okay,

[1:14:26] this is,

[1:14:27] he's like,

[1:14:27] he's like a nerd,

[1:14:28] right?

[1:14:29] But nobody knows

[1:14:29] that he's a,

[1:14:30] he's a martial arts master,

[1:14:31] you know?

Dan McCoy

[1:14:32] Yes,

[1:14:32] perfect.

[1:14:33] Helen Mary-

[1:14:33] Last Name Withheld writes,

[1:14:36] you may not be interested

[1:14:37] in more Patch Adams stories.

[1:14:39] Cool,

[1:14:39] don't tell us that.

[1:14:40] Just kidding,

[1:14:40] I would love to hear it.

[1:14:41] I'm compelled

[1:14:42] to share this regardless.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:44] Here is,

[1:14:44] here is something

[1:14:45] I will never say,

[1:14:46] ever.

[1:14:46] This is a combination

[1:14:47] of words

[1:14:48] in the English language

[1:14:48] I will never utter.

[1:14:50] I am tired

[1:14:50] of Patch Adams stories.

[1:14:53] Never.

[1:14:54] The only story

[1:14:55] of Patch Adams

[1:14:55] I am tired of

[1:14:56] is the movie Patch Adams.

[1:14:57] Otherwise,

[1:14:58] I want to hear them all.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:59] I mean,

[1:14:59] as long as they're true.

[1:15:00] Don't start lying

[1:15:01] to us about Patch Adams.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:02] I don't need the

[1:15:03] Chuck Tangle

[1:15:03] Patch Adams stories

[1:15:04] where it's obviously

[1:15:05] made up.

[1:15:06] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:06] Anyway,

[1:15:07] a few years back

[1:15:08] I was working

[1:15:08] in the Midwestern town

[1:15:09] where Patch lives.

[1:15:11] Central Illinois

[1:15:11] is a good place

[1:15:12] to find pawpaws,

[1:15:14] the native fruit

[1:15:15] that's sort of like

[1:15:15] if a mango

[1:15:16] and an overripe banana

[1:15:18] had a baby

[1:15:18] and a friend

[1:15:19] organized a bike ride

[1:15:21] to go visit

[1:15:22] and harvest

[1:15:22] the pawpaw trees

[1:15:24] around town.

[1:15:25] Halfway through the tour,

[1:15:27] our leader stopped

[1:15:28] to warn us

[1:15:28] that the next stop

[1:15:29] would be a little unusual.

[1:15:31] We rolled up

[1:15:32] a long gravel driveway

[1:15:34] leading to a house,

[1:15:35] some outbuildings,

[1:15:35] and a pawpaw tree.

[1:15:37] Suddenly,

[1:15:38] the door to the house

[1:15:39] flew open

[1:15:39] and out ran a man

[1:15:40] entirely naked

[1:15:41] except for a diaper

[1:15:42] with his belly

[1:15:43] and chest

[1:15:44] painted blue.

[1:15:45] He threw himself

[1:15:46] to the ground

[1:15:46] by the pawpaw tree.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:47] We had entered

[1:15:48] the movie

[1:15:49] Krippendorf's Tribe

[1:15:50] by accident.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:51] He threw himself

[1:15:52] to the ground

[1:15:52] by the pawpaw tree

[1:15:53] and wailed,

[1:15:54] Papa,

[1:15:55] Papa,

[1:15:55] don't take my pawpaw

[1:15:57] away from me.

[1:15:58] I have never seen

[1:15:59] the movie Patch Adams,

[1:16:00] did not realize

[1:16:01] it was based

[1:16:01] on a real person,

[1:16:02] and don't think

[1:16:03] I would recognize

[1:16:03] him with clothes on.

[1:16:05] Your pal,

[1:16:06] Helen Mary

[1:16:07] last year was held.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:08] So that was Patch Adams

[1:16:09] who was doing that.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:11] Yep,

[1:16:11] that's our old friend

[1:16:12] Patch Adams.

[1:16:13] So I'm

[1:16:14] weirder and weirder

[1:16:15] with every story.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:16] This raises

[1:16:16] a lot more questions

[1:16:17] because did the rest

[1:16:18] of the group

[1:16:19] like break into

[1:16:20] laughter at that?

[1:16:22] Were they like

[1:16:22] going insane?

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:24] Yeah,

[1:16:24] was that supposed to be

[1:16:25] the joke of it

[1:16:26] was the play on words

[1:16:28] or the,

[1:16:28] yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:29] I guess so.

[1:16:31] I mean,

[1:16:32] also like you're saying.

[1:16:32] They all laughed

Dan McCoy

[1:16:32] and then he went,

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:33] you're cured,

[1:16:34] take them away.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:35] Papa,

[1:16:36] Papa.

[1:16:37] So that explains

[1:16:38] the diaper,

[1:16:38] but why is he blue too?

[1:16:40] Because he's sad

[1:16:41] that he's losing

[1:16:42] his pawpaws.

[1:16:42] Oh,

[1:16:43] okay.

[1:16:43] Exactly.

[1:16:44] He's blue.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:45] WD.

[1:16:46] WD.

[1:16:46] That's what the song

[1:16:47] was about actually

[1:16:48] if you listen to the lyrics.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:50] Well,

[1:16:50] I guess it all fits together.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:52] Now what do we do

[1:16:52] on this podcast,

[1:16:53] Danny boy?

[1:16:55] Now is when

[1:16:56] we...

[1:16:57] I just want to say,

[1:16:58] again,

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:58] everyone,

[1:16:59] if you have a Patch Adams story,

[1:17:00] you need to send it in.

[1:17:01] Thank you.

[1:17:01] We're collecting them

[1:17:02] for the Patch Adams

[1:17:03] Oral History Project.

[1:17:04] It's NPR and StoryCorps

[1:17:05] and we'll be collecting them all,

[1:17:08] I assume,

[1:17:09] into a leather-bound volume

[1:17:10] which will then be

[1:17:10] jettisoned into the sun.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:12] Now is when we recommend movies

[1:17:14] that we think

[1:17:16] might be a better use

[1:17:18] of your time

[1:17:18] than the one we watched.

[1:17:21] I'm looking through

[1:17:22] my recently

[1:17:23] watched films

[1:17:24] and a lot of them

[1:17:25] are things that

[1:17:26] have been recommended

[1:17:28] before

[1:17:28] by Elliot.

[1:17:31] So I won't recommend

[1:17:31] those ones.

[1:17:32] Wow,

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:33] that's Dan's low-key way

[1:17:34] of telling Elliot

[1:17:35] that he respects

[1:17:36] his recommendations.

[1:17:37] Yeah,

[1:17:37] I mean,

[1:17:37] I watched

Dan McCoy

[1:17:37] Night of the Juggler

[1:17:39] and Million Dollar Legs

[1:17:41] and I liked both of them

[1:17:42] but I think

[1:17:44] they've been talked about already.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:45] They've been recommended

[1:17:46] before.

[1:17:47] I mean,

[1:17:47] I don't know

[1:17:48] if I've never recommended

[1:17:48] Million Dollar Legs

[1:17:49] on the show,

[1:17:50] have I?

Dan McCoy

[1:17:51] It's possible not.

[1:17:52] It's possible

[1:17:52] it's just because

[1:17:54] you did a screening

[1:17:56] back in the 92Y

[1:17:57] Tribeca days.

[1:17:58] That's true,

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:58] but that is one of the,

[1:18:01] I find to be

[1:18:01] such a funny movie.

[1:18:02] It's one of those

[1:18:02] 30s comedies

[1:18:03] where they're just like,

[1:18:04] whatever,

[1:18:05] we can do whatever,

[1:18:06] who cares?

[1:18:07] And it's just super silly

[1:18:08] and it kind of

[1:18:09] hell's a pop

[1:18:09] and throw everything in way.

[1:18:11] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:13] So I'm going to recommend

[1:18:14] Wake Up Dead Man

[1:18:16] which I went out

[1:18:17] and saw in the theaters

[1:18:18] despite Netflix's

[1:18:20] best efforts to

[1:18:21] say,

[1:18:22] don't do that anymore.

[1:18:23] I'm like,

[1:18:24] fuck you,

[1:18:25] I will.

[1:18:26] Fuck you,

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:26] Netflix,

[1:18:26] I'm going to give you

[1:18:27] more money

[1:18:28] in a different way

[1:18:28] and you're not going

[1:18:29] to like it.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:30] I mean,

[1:18:31] if I want to change

[1:18:31] Netflix's mind

[1:18:32] about the theatrical experience,

[1:18:34] it's probably the best

[1:18:34] way of doing it.

[1:18:35] That's a very good point

[1:18:36] actually,

[1:18:36] yeah.

[1:18:37] But you know,

[1:18:38] I like these

[1:18:38] Benoit Blanc mysteries.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:42] You feel like,

[1:18:43] definitely like,

[1:18:44] kind of the target audience.

[1:18:45] You have a,

[1:18:46] you know,

[1:18:46] a cast of great

[1:18:47] character actors

[1:18:48] and it's like a little bit

[1:18:49] of a whodunit,

[1:18:50] a little bit of a character thing.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:51] I've got a wife

[1:18:51] who will watch any whodunit.

[1:18:55] I'm,

[1:18:55] I mean,

[1:18:55] I'm also a fan.

[1:18:58] Yeah,

[1:18:58] I mean like,

[1:18:59] you know,

[1:18:59] it's comedy,

[1:19:01] it's mystery.

[1:19:03] Each of these films

[1:19:05] feels like it,

[1:19:06] you know,

[1:19:06] is trying to address

[1:19:07] larger themes.

[1:19:09] This one is a little less

[1:19:11] of an ensemble piece

[1:19:12] and a little more focused

[1:19:13] on Joshua Connors'

[1:19:15] character,

[1:19:15] but he is fantastic in it.

[1:19:17] Always.

[1:19:18] And,

[1:19:18] yeah,

[1:19:19] I just had a great time.

[1:19:21] Like,

[1:19:21] this is a classic,

[1:19:22] like,

[1:19:23] the best special effect

[1:19:24] is a bunch of actors

[1:19:25] doing stuff

[1:19:27] with a fun script

[1:19:27] movie.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:28] Do you think,

[1:19:29] do you think

[1:19:30] Josh O'Connor

[1:19:31] and Daniel Craig

[1:19:32] talked about working

[1:19:33] with Luca Guadagino

[1:19:34] a bunch

[1:19:34] because they were both

[1:19:35] in Luca movies

[1:19:36] last year?

[1:19:37] Probably.

[1:19:38] Yeah,

[1:19:38] probably.

[1:19:39] They probably did bond over it.

[1:19:39] I don't see why they wouldn't.

[1:19:41] Yeah.

[1:19:42] Man,

[1:19:43] I have,

[1:19:44] I've been watching

[1:19:44] a pile of movies,

[1:19:47] but I think I'm going

[1:19:48] to recommend one

[1:19:49] that's close to my heart.

[1:19:51] Don't keep your movies

[1:19:51] in a pile.

[1:19:52] That's not the best way

[1:19:52] to take care of a movie.

[1:19:53] Yeah,

[1:19:53] I'm going to recommend

[1:19:54] one that's close to my heart

[1:19:55] because I went and saw

[1:19:56] with a good buddy of mine.

[1:19:57] That's right.

[1:19:58] That is

[1:19:59] Now You Three Me,

[1:20:01] a.k.a.

[1:20:01] Now You See Me,

[1:20:02] Now You Don't.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:03] Is it called

[1:20:04] Now You Three Me

[1:20:05] by anybody

[1:20:05] or just by you?

[1:20:06] Just by me.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:07] Who was the good buddy?

[1:20:08] Was it Audrey?

[1:20:08] It was,

[1:20:09] it was,

[1:20:09] we went,

[1:20:10] we went to see it

[1:20:11] with Dan and Audrey.

[1:20:12] It was so fun.

[1:20:14] These movies are so silly

[1:20:16] and they take themselves

[1:20:17] just seriously enough,

[1:20:19] but no more.

[1:20:22] And it's like,

[1:20:23] I don't know,

[1:20:23] it's like the kind of,

[1:20:24] like the big budget

[1:20:26] action adventure,

[1:20:27] but like,

[1:20:28] there's not that much action

[1:20:29] unless you count magic.

[1:20:31] And the magic tricks

[1:20:32] are like really silly

[1:20:34] and don't really make sense.

[1:20:35] Yeah.

[1:20:36] And it has this

[1:20:37] elaborate mythology

[1:20:37] that also doesn't

[1:20:38] doesn't make sense.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:40] And it's getting to like

[1:20:41] almost fast and furious levels.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:42] I love it.

[1:20:43] I can't get enough.

[1:20:44] Yum, yum, yum.

[1:20:45] Pour it in my mouth.

[1:20:46] And in this one,

[1:20:47] you have Rosamund Pike

[1:20:48] playing a Afrikaans,

[1:20:52] like diamond mine owner.

[1:20:54] And she is like

[1:20:55] full on Bond villain.

[1:20:56] She gobbles up

[1:20:58] every scene she's in

[1:20:59] with this wild Afrikaans accent

[1:21:01] that vacillates

[1:21:02] between believable

[1:21:03] to just absolutely bonkers.

[1:21:06] It's great.

[1:21:07] I love it.

[1:21:07] It's so good.

[1:21:09] And yeah,

[1:21:10] and the additions

[1:21:11] to the cast are fun.

[1:21:13] And yeah,

[1:21:13] it's,

[1:21:14] yeah,

[1:21:14] it's,

[1:21:15] I love it.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:15] Two thumbs up.

[1:21:16] It was a lot of fun.

[1:21:17] I was surprised

[1:21:18] at just how engaged

[1:21:19] I was seeing one of these

[1:21:20] in the theater.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:21] Going into it,

[1:21:22] I was like,

[1:21:22] is this going to be as fun

[1:21:24] as watching these movies,

[1:21:25] the previous two,

[1:21:26] and how silly they were

[1:21:27] and just being like,

[1:21:28] am I enjoying this ironically

[1:21:30] or just enjoying it?

[1:21:31] And then you realize

[1:21:33] it doesn't matter.

[1:21:34] It doesn't matter.

[1:21:35] Yeah,

[1:21:35] they merge at a certain point.

[1:21:38] That's fun.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:39] I'm going to recommend

[1:21:40] a similar kind of movie.

[1:21:41] No,

[1:21:42] just kidding.

[1:21:42] It's a very different movie.

[1:21:44] I've been,

[1:21:45] decided I needed,

[1:21:46] for my own purposes,

[1:21:47] I needed to go back

[1:21:48] to a movie that is a little bit

[1:21:49] of a comfort food movie

[1:21:50] for me to watch recently

[1:21:51] and see if it still provided

[1:21:53] what I wanted it to provide.

[1:21:54] And so I watched

[1:21:55] the movie Being There,

[1:21:56] the Hal Ashby movie

[1:21:57] with Peter Sellers

[1:21:58] and Shane McLean

[1:21:59] and watching it,

[1:22:00] I was like,

[1:22:01] yep,

[1:22:01] I still love this movie.

[1:22:02] It's still beautiful

[1:22:03] and also funny

[1:22:04] at the same time.

[1:22:05] And the fact that

[1:22:06] they're able to pull off

[1:22:07] a satire that is,

[1:22:10] that feels very kind of like

[1:22:11] calm and stately

[1:22:12] without losing the satire

[1:22:14] or the humor

[1:22:15] is astounding to me.

[1:22:16] That it's like,

[1:22:17] it's a satirical movie

[1:22:18] that is not really

[1:22:19] calling attention to itself

[1:22:20] or shouting the jokes

[1:22:21] or shouting its points

[1:22:22] or anything like that.

[1:22:23] And the stuff they do

[1:22:24] with clips of

[1:22:26] TV shows from the 70s

[1:22:27] and things like that.

[1:22:28] For anyone who's not familiar

[1:22:28] with Being There,

[1:22:29] it is a movie about a man

[1:22:30] who has some sort

[1:22:33] of mental impairment

[1:22:33] and only knows the world

[1:22:35] through television,

[1:22:36] essentially.

[1:22:37] And he is forced out

[1:22:39] into the outside world

[1:22:40] and gets mixed up

[1:22:41] with people in Washington,

[1:22:43] D.C.

[1:22:43] and rich people.

[1:22:44] And they believe

[1:22:45] that his very basic statements

[1:22:47] about gardening,

[1:22:48] because he has been a gardener

[1:22:49] his entire life,

[1:22:50] are elaborate metaphors

[1:22:51] about the economy

[1:22:52] or whatever,

[1:22:53] or emotions

[1:22:53] or things like that.

[1:22:54] And they all read

[1:22:55] into what he's saying,

[1:22:56] what they basically

[1:22:57] want him to be saying

[1:22:58] to them.

[1:22:59] And the question,

[1:23:00] on a very basic level,

[1:23:02] it's a satire of like,

[1:23:03] oh, this guy,

[1:23:04] you know,

[1:23:04] when you say something

[1:23:05] that means nothing,

[1:23:06] people read things into it.

[1:23:07] But at a deeper level,

[1:23:08] it becomes about like,

[1:23:10] are we all just kind of like

[1:23:11] people programmed

[1:23:13] by what the media

[1:23:14] has told us to expect

[1:23:15] about the world

[1:23:15] who kind of like

[1:23:16] say things that

[1:23:18] don't mean anything

[1:23:21] or are not understanding

[1:23:23] what other people

[1:23:23] are saying to us?

[1:23:25] And I just,

[1:23:25] I really love it.

[1:23:26] It's a very,

[1:23:26] and it's also just

[1:23:27] a very calm movie.

[1:23:29] Like it's a very calm

[1:23:30] kind of like,

[1:23:31] stately kind of like,

[1:23:32] kind of a,

[1:23:35] I don't know,

[1:23:35] just not upsetting movie

[1:23:38] in terms of the way

[1:23:39] it moves.

[1:23:39] So it was really,

[1:23:40] exactly what I needed

[1:23:41] at the time.

[1:23:41] So that's being there

[1:23:43] with Peter Sellers

[1:23:44] and Shirley MacLaine.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:45] I need to revisit that one

[1:23:46] because I saw that

[1:23:47] as a kid,

[1:23:48] which is probably

[1:23:49] not the ideal way.

[1:23:50] And like,

[1:23:51] I was expecting

[1:23:51] something funnier

[1:23:53] and I also was like,

[1:23:56] reading it more

[1:23:57] sort of on the,

[1:23:58] like the basic level

[1:23:59] of the,

[1:23:59] yeah,

[1:24:00] yeah,

[1:24:00] I get it.

[1:24:00] Like people think

[1:24:01] that this guy's deep

[1:24:02] when he's not,

[1:24:03] you know.

[1:24:03] Yeah.

[1:24:04] But it's so beloved.

[1:24:06] I'm sure that

[1:24:07] if I revisited it now,

[1:24:08] I would find more

[1:24:09] in it to enjoy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:10] I think so.

[1:24:11] I mean,

[1:24:11] it's a movie that

[1:24:12] I think especially

[1:24:13] if you're seeing it

[1:24:13] as a kid

[1:24:14] and you're familiar

[1:24:14] with Peter Sellers,

[1:24:15] you're like,

[1:24:15] this is going to be silly.

[1:24:17] And it's like,

[1:24:17] not really silly.

[1:24:19] Yeah.

[1:24:19] We're the shenanigans.

[1:24:20] Yeah, exactly.

[1:24:21] A lot of kids

Dan McCoy

[1:24:22] are big Sellers heads.

[1:24:24] Well, I mean,

[1:24:24] I certainly was

[1:24:25] from watching like,

[1:24:25] Certainly Dan was,

[1:24:26] I'm sure.

[1:24:27] Panther films.

[1:24:28] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:29] And I think

[1:24:30] it's a very controlled movie.

[1:24:31] And so I think

[1:24:32] to see the stuff

[1:24:33] that's in it sometimes,

[1:24:34] it might take an adult eye,

[1:24:35] you know.

[1:24:36] Yeah.

[1:24:36] And I find,

[1:24:36] there are moments in it

[1:24:37] that I find genuinely

[1:24:38] very beautiful,

[1:24:39] you know,

[1:24:39] which is not something

[1:24:39] I can say for a lot of,

[1:24:41] a lot of comedies,

[1:24:42] you know,

[1:24:42] where it's like,

[1:24:43] oh,

[1:24:43] this moment becomes beautiful

[1:24:44] and not in the way of

[1:24:45] like the bear.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:46] Like a Borat naked

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:48] wrestling sequence?

[1:24:49] I mean,

[1:24:49] there is something beautiful

[1:24:50] about that Borat naked

[1:24:51] wrestling sequence,

[1:24:51] to be honest.

[1:24:52] But this is beautiful

[1:24:53] in a different way.

[1:24:53] But not in the way of like,

[1:24:56] well,

[1:24:56] to make this comedy respectable,

[1:24:57] we've got to make it

[1:24:58] suddenly sad.

[1:25:00] And this movie

[1:25:00] has an autumnal feel to it.

[1:25:02] And there is a sadness to it,

[1:25:03] but it's not a,

[1:25:04] it's not like,

[1:25:05] you're not seeing characters

[1:25:06] like kind of screaming

[1:25:06] and crying

[1:25:07] and proving that they are,

[1:25:09] that they can do drama,

[1:25:10] you know,

[1:25:11] or something like that.

[1:25:11] So.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:13] Well,

[1:25:14] guys,

[1:25:14] that's the,

[1:25:15] the flop house for this week,

[1:25:18] I believe,

[1:25:19] unless I'm mistaken.

[1:25:21] And if I am mistaken,

[1:25:23] then I apologize to everyone

[1:25:24] for lying to you.

[1:25:25] But I think this might be

[1:25:26] the first full episode

[1:25:27] of the new year.

[1:25:30] So.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:31] We're recording this

[1:25:32] slightly ahead of time.

[1:25:33] That's why Dan is uncertain.

[1:25:34] It's not because Dan has dementia

[1:25:36] and doesn't remember

[1:25:37] what,

[1:25:37] what time of year it is.

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:38] So did you make a,

[1:25:39] have you make a new year's resolution,

[1:25:42] Dan?

[1:25:43] How's your resolution going so far?

Dan McCoy

[1:25:45] I don't believe

[1:25:46] in new year's resolutions.

[1:25:47] I think.

[1:25:47] Every day is a resolution.

[1:25:48] Because they believe in you.

[1:25:49] Yeah.

[1:25:49] Oh,

[1:25:50] well,

[1:25:50] thank you.

[1:25:52] You know what?

[1:25:54] Is it,

[1:25:54] is it,

[1:25:55] is it?

[1:25:56] Let's get to the bottom of this.

[1:25:58] I don't know.

[1:25:59] Anyway.

[1:26:01] Happy new year.

[1:26:02] Either way.

[1:26:03] The whole point is,

[1:26:04] well,

[1:26:04] you know what?

[1:26:05] There's no law of this.

[1:26:06] There's no law of this.

[1:26:07] Oh,

[1:26:07] no.

[1:26:08] Dan,

[1:26:08] the cops are at the door.

[1:26:09] They're taking me away.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:10] Could have just wrapped up the episode.

[1:26:12] Nope.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:14] I'm allowed to do it early.

[1:26:16] If I'm doing it early,

[1:26:18] if I'm doing it late,

[1:26:18] happy new year.

[1:26:19] The episode has come out January 3rd,

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:21] Dan.

[1:26:21] You're right in the pocket.

[1:26:23] Yeah.

[1:26:23] Great.

[1:26:24] I did.

[1:26:24] Have you ever heard of an unforced error?

[1:26:25] You know what?

[1:26:26] I also told you,

[1:26:27] I was like Elliot earlier,

Dan McCoy

[1:26:28] I was like,

[1:26:29] I told you this is going to be on January 3rd.

[1:26:31] So I don't know why I forgot it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:34] It's not that you forgot it.

[1:26:35] It's that you immediately doubted your,

[1:26:37] your memory of it.

[1:26:38] That's true.

[1:26:38] Your recollection of what date this will be.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:40] Yeah.

[1:26:40] Happy new year.

[1:26:43] You know,

[1:26:44] it's been,

[1:26:44] it's been a rough one.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:45] Dan was about to perfectly land the fighter jet onto the aircraft

[1:26:49] carrier.

[1:26:49] And then he suddenly spilled hot coffee in his lap and started

[1:26:52] jerking the throttle around.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:55] It's been a rough one.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:55] Why are you drinking hot coffee in a fighter jet,

[1:26:57] Dan?

[1:26:57] What do you,

[1:26:58] you got that mask on.

[1:26:59] You can't even,

[1:26:59] you can't even get it to your mouth.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:01] I wish better times for us all,

[1:27:03] uh,

[1:27:03] including,

[1:27:04] uh,

[1:27:06] our great producer,

[1:27:07] Alex Smith.

[1:27:08] Thank you for producing us.

[1:27:09] He goes by the name,

[1:27:10] Howell Dottie all over the internet.

[1:27:12] Uh,

[1:27:12] thank you to Maximum Fun,

[1:27:15] our network.

[1:27:16] Go with her,

[1:27:17] go over to MaximumFun.org and check out all the other great podcasts on it.

[1:27:22] Stuart's shaking his head at the turn this took.

[1:27:25] The abrupt turn back into professionalism.

[1:27:30] Boring.

[1:27:31] Dan,

[1:27:31] fuck up some more,

[1:27:33] please.

[1:27:34] Uh,

[1:27:35] thank you for listening.

[1:27:36] We hope you stick with us in the new year.

[1:27:39] For the Flophouse,

[1:27:40] I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:27:41] I've been Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:43] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:27:44] Rebirth.

[1:27:46] Bye.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:54] Okay.

[1:27:54] Let's,

[1:27:55] uh,

[1:27:55] let's just do the thing.

[1:27:57] Being the podcast.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:59] Oh,

[1:27:59] that's the thing.

[1:28:00] You know,

[1:28:00] not do,

[1:28:01] not do the thing as in have sex with the monster from the thing.

[1:28:04] Yeah.

[1:28:05] I mean,

[1:28:06] you can change any shape you want.

[1:28:08] Anything you want.

[1:28:08] Any shape you want.

[1:28:09] You want to have sex with a dog with tentacles?

[1:28:10] That's your man.

[1:28:11] Guys,

[1:28:12] hear me out.

[1:28:13] I hear you out.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:15] Just release all of the outtakes as a mini.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:18] Yeah.

[1:28:19] Um,

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:19] okay.

[1:28:20] I'm done chomping on Mango.

[1:28:21] Calm down.

[1:28:22] Stop giving me looks,

[1:28:23] Dan.

[1:28:25] He's giving me that fucking Dan McCoy stank eye.

[1:28:27] I know exactly what you're talking about.

[1:28:29] Yeah,

Dan McCoy

[1:28:29] the tank eye.

[1:28:30] Yeah.

[1:28:30] Making sure it's done so we don't,

[1:28:33] uh,

[1:28:33] annoy our listeners.

[1:28:34] Okay,

[1:28:34] here we go.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:35] Dan,

[1:28:35] what we do is annoy our listeners.

[1:28:39] Maximum Fun.

[1:28:40] A worker-owned network.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:42] of artist-owned shows.

[1:28:43] Supported.

[1:28:44] Directly.

[1:28:45] By you.

Jurassic World: Rebirth

Chapters

Transcript

In this episode

Description