FH Mini 143 - IP Freely 2026

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] Hello, listeners. Welcome to another episode of the Flophouse Mini. That's right. Usually,

[0:10] the Flophouse watches a bad movie and then we talk about it, but also usually, because it's

[0:15] half the time, so it's really equal, we do Flophouse Minis, where we just kind of talk

[0:22] about whatever we want. Sometimes it's related to movies. Sometimes it's not related to movies.

[0:27] Sometimes it's related to things that are related to movies. And sometimes it's not related

[0:31] to things that are related to movies. And today-

Dan McCoy

[0:34] You're saying that like you've got a sexy secret.

Stuart Wellington

[0:37] Should we change it from Mini to Flophouse Unchained or something?

Dan McCoy

[0:42] I mean, maybe. It doesn't really make any sense. It's no longer short. It happens half the time

[0:49] anyway.

Elliott Kalan

[0:50] Yeah. So welcome to another Flophouse Unchained, where we get raw and crazy.

[0:56] We let ourselves loose. We do whatever we want. There's no rules.

[0:59] Yeah, heck yeah. That sounds awesome.

[1:00] I'm Elliot Bad Dog Kalen, and I'm joined by my co-hosts-

Dan McCoy

[1:05] Dan Off The Leash McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07] And Stuart Bow Wow Wow Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10] That's right. And you're in the Flophouse Dog House.

[1:13] We're talking about something very exciting. That's right. We're talking about the public

[1:17] domain, because this episode is coming out January 10th, 2026. This is one of the most exciting

[1:22] times of the year, because this is when we finally get our hands on all those cultural properties

[1:27] that have entered the public domain, and we can do whatever we want with them. Yay!

[1:31] Let me explain. Every year, the copyright expires on a class of really old stuff, and it just

[1:38] becomes part of the common creative clay of American art. And I feel like, as a creative person who wants

[1:43] to make a living, I love the idea of copyright, because I want to make something, and then own it,

[1:48] and then make money off of it, and leave it to my family. But as a creative person who recognizes

[1:52] that, in reality, corporations own most of the copyrights, and they just hold things back and

[1:57] make it harder for other people to do cool things with them, I also like the public domain a lot.

[2:02] And I think that there's something really exciting about the public domain, because you can finally

[2:05] do stuff with famous stuff. And we are now entering this era where the things that are going to the

[2:12] public domain are 20th century things that we are already familiar with. It's no longer like,

[2:17] oh, this old book from like a thousand years ago or whatever is in the public domain.

[2:22] Now I can-

Dan McCoy

[2:22] Moby dork.

[2:24] Shamala is in the public domain.

Elliott Kalan

[2:25] Yeah, now I can finally make the three butsketeers, and they can have sex with each other. Like,

[2:29] who cares, you know? But now, we have these new things in the 20th century that are public domain.

[2:34] This year, pretty much everything from the year 1930 is in the public domain now,

[2:39] which is super exciting, because this is when, like, movies that people might have watched on

[2:43] their own just because are in the public domain now. So, I decided I want to make this a new

[2:48] annual tradition. Every January, I'm going to talk to my friends, Dan and Stu, and I'm going to say,

[2:52] here's some new public domain properties. What are we going to do with them? Like, what can we do with

[2:56] them?

[2:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2:57] And so, let's talk about some of them. A few characters are entering the public domain this year

[3:02] that are exciting. For instance, the earliest character of Nancy Drew is entering the public domain.

[3:08] So, guys, what are we going to do with Nancy Drew now that we can do whatever we want with her?

[3:12] Keep it clean.

Stuart Wellington

[3:13] What's her whole thing, Dan, before you get creepy?

Dan McCoy

[3:17] Why is there an assumption I'm going to get creepy? Her whole thing, like, she's like a young woman

[3:24] who solves crimes.

Elliott Kalan

[3:25] Okay, Dan, don't get creepy. Okay, yeah. She's a girl detective, basically.

[3:29] Yeah, she's Lady Hardy Boy.

Dan McCoy

[3:32] Exactly.

[3:33] But I think she may have predated the Hardy Boys. I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[3:35] I think she did. I think the Hardy Boys...

Dan McCoy

[3:36] She dated the Hardy Boys?

[3:37] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[3:37] She dated both of them at the same time.

Stuart Wellington

[3:39] In a movie that I saw.

[3:42] Sounds complicated.

[3:45] Well, obviously...

[3:46] It was called Challengers.

Elliott Kalan

[3:53] Whatever you did, now, next, Luca Guadina is going to do Challengers, but it's about two

[3:56] boy detectives, and they're dating a girl detective.

Stuart Wellington

[4:00] That's a pretty good... I don't know. That's a pretty good pitch.

[4:02] I mean, they're going to be able to... They'll find all the clues as to infidelities and whatnot.

Elliott Kalan

[4:06] I guess that's true. It is hard to have an affair when the person you're cheating on is a detective.

Stuart Wellington

[4:11] You would think, but I feel like oftentimes they're so wrapped up in their own mysteries.

[4:16] Oh.

[4:16] They forget to pay attention to the thing right in front of them.

Dan McCoy

[4:19] They don't understand the mysteries of the heart.

Elliott Kalan

[4:21] Well, I feel like we're kind of partway to what our Nancy Drew property is going to be.

[4:24] Nancy Drew is like, she's got a couple lovers, and she's got to keep them in the dark about each other

[4:30] and cover up her tracks.

[4:32] Or, alternately...

[4:32] Oh, wow. Okay.

[4:33] Or, alternately, she thinks that somebody is cheating on her.

[4:37] Her boyfriend's cheating on her. She's got to figure out the mystery.

[4:40] Maybe it uncorks a larger can of worms.

[4:43] Do they can worms with corks?

Stuart Wellington

[4:44] Almost like a clueless sort of take, where Nancy Drew's what this high school detective who is...

[4:51] I mean, I'm basically talking about fucking Veronica Mars.

[4:54] I guess so.

Dan McCoy

[4:54] Or it's about, like, you know, like the paranoia that just seeps in when you deal with mysteries,

[4:59] like, and, like, it leads her to see invidelity where it may not actually exist.

[5:04] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[5:04] So, I mean, that's kind of like a Harriet the Spy type thing, where she kind of is intruding

[5:08] in people's lives because she thinks there's more kind of adventure going on in them.

[5:12] Harriet the Spy, not in the public domain.

[5:14] Nancy Drew now is.

[5:15] So, let's try it.

[5:16] Nancy Drew, it's like...

[5:17] But this could be like the gritty dark take where Nancy Drew is kind of...

[5:21] She believes that...

[5:23] She's paranoid and believes there's mysteries all around her, you know.

[5:26] And she's losing her mind.

[5:28] And then probably Elder Gods or something.

Stuart Wellington

[5:29] Or we could do the gross-out comedy version, Nancy Drew.

[5:34] That sounds more like Garbage Pail Kids.

[5:37] Oh, is there something more gross-out than Garbage Pail Kids?

Elliott Kalan

[5:40] I love that Stuart's like, let's do the gross-out version.

[5:42] And Dan goes, eh, that sounds like Garbage Pail Kids.

[5:44] And Stuart's like, yeah, exactly.

Dan McCoy

[5:46] I guess I'm arguing with the comedy part of it.

Elliott Kalan

[5:49] What?

[5:50] I mean, if you're going to doubt the legacy of Art Spiegelman, Dan, in the way...

[5:55] Yeah.

[5:56] You know, then sure you can.

[5:57] Creator of Garbage Pail Kids.

[5:59] No, it's true.

[6:00] And Wacky Packages.

[6:01] And Wacky Packages.

[6:02] And also Mouse.

[6:03] The story of his father's experiences in the Holocaust.

[6:06] Really contains multitudes, Art Spiegelman.

[6:08] Yeah.

[6:08] So, he's not in the public domain yet, though.

[6:10] So, let's...

[6:11] Okay, Nancy Drew is a...

[6:12] So, we're either doing a kind of gothic noir where she's losing her mind, or it's kind

[6:18] of like...

Dan McCoy

[6:19] Or it's a gross-out comedy.

[6:22] Now, what are the details of Nancy Drool beyond the obvious?

Stuart Wellington

[6:28] Well, she's like...

[6:29] She's a gross girl detective.

[6:31] I think it's pretty straightforward, for sure.

Elliott Kalan

[6:33] She's a gross...

[6:34] So, it's hard for her to go undercover or to, like, be...

[6:37] Like, to fade to the background because she's so gross.

[6:39] She's always drooling all the time.

[6:41] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[6:41] She's questioning people, and they're like, oh, Nancy Drool's coming over.

Elliott Kalan

[6:44] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[6:45] Or, like, she'll be, like, farting and giving herself away when she's hiding in the bushes.

[6:49] Yeah.

[6:49] Wait.

Elliott Kalan

[6:50] What's her premise?

Dan McCoy

[6:51] She's a really good detective, but no one takes her seriously because she's so gross.

[6:54] Because she's so gross.

[6:55] Okay.

[6:56] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[6:56] So, it's not just drooling.

[6:57] It's any gross thing.

Stuart Wellington

[6:59] No.

[6:59] Nancy...

[6:59] Her given name, her Christian name is Nancy Drew.

[7:04] But the movie is called Nancy Drool because they call her that because she drooled once.

[7:08] I like it.

Elliott Kalan

[7:08] So, she's got all the suspects in one room at the end.

[7:11] She goes, no one's leaving this room until we find the killer.

[7:14] But she keeps farting.

[7:15] So, they all really want to leave the room really badly.

[7:16] And the killer volunteers that they did it because they just wanted to get out there.

[7:20] She's farting and it's getting smelly and smelly and then she finally throws up and that smells so bad that the killer admits it.

[7:25] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[7:25] Well, it's the smell of the vomit that's the worst part.

[7:28] Okay.

[7:28] I guess you're right.

Elliott Kalan

[7:29] Because it makes everybody throw up.

[7:30] You've seen Stand By Me.

[7:31] Everybody throws up when there's throw up around.

Stuart Wellington

[7:32] Yeah.

[7:33] That's what happened.

Elliott Kalan

[7:35] Okay.

[7:35] So, I think...

[7:36] So, Nancy Drool.

[7:37] We got it.

[7:38] I don't even know if we need her to be in the public domain to do that.

[7:41] It might fall under the parody rules.

[7:42] But that's cool.

[7:43] It means we don't have to worry about getting legal involved.

Stuart Wellington

[7:45] Just to check.

[7:46] That's drool is what the tagline would be.

[7:48] Yeah.

[7:48] That's cool.

[7:49] That's cool.

[7:51] Just drool it, I think, would be another one.

[7:53] Yeah, exactly.

[7:54] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[7:55] So, that's Nancy.

[7:56] Nancy Drew is now Nancy Drool.

[7:58] Okay.

[7:59] Let's go to another character who is now entering the public domain.

[8:02] Dan's going to love this one because he loves comic strip characters.

[8:06] And there's no comic strip character that I think has really touched the hearts of America,

[8:11] gotten across the idea of humor, the adventure of comic strips.

[8:15] No character does it better than Blondie.

[8:17] That's right.

[8:17] Blondie, this is the early – this is Blondie from her first appearance who is a flapper.

[8:23] But I assume you could still do the Blondie who's just a housewife.

[8:28] So, Dan, what are we going to do?

[8:30] Just a housewife?

[8:31] And, Dan, what are we going to do with Blondie?

[8:32] Again, keep it clean.

[8:35] You don't have to keep it as clean as Nancy Drew, who is, I think, potentially a minor.

[8:39] I don't remember.

[8:40] But Blondie, of course, I mean, she is – maybe you don't need to keep it clean.

[8:43] I don't know.

[8:45] She's super hot.

Dan McCoy

[8:47] Thanks, Elliot.

[8:48] You're attributing all of this perviness to me.

[8:53] And I feel like it just makes you sound like you're –

[8:58] But Blondie, what are you going to do with Blondie?

[8:58] What a deflection.

Stuart Wellington

[9:00] Like, Perseus with the shield over here.

[9:03] So, there were a lot of Blondie.

[9:05] That was a great defense.

Elliott Kalan

[9:06] You're making me sound pervy, but I don't know.

[9:07] Maybe you are.

Dan McCoy

[9:09] There were a series of, like, Blondie movies back in the day.

[9:14] I mean, I think it actually is more interesting that she was a flapper.

[9:18] Like, the thing is about Blondie is, like, they abandoned the premise in charge – in favor of just sort of, like, I don't know, suburban comedy.

[9:27] Yeah.

[9:27] But part of the humor of it, I guess, originally was that, like, yeah, she was a free-spirited flapper girl who then marries, like, kind of a square guy and they have a suburban life or whatever.

Elliott Kalan

[9:39] I mean, is he a square?

[9:40] He's got that crazy haircut.

[9:42] And he's such big sandwiches.

[9:44] He's a young, rich guy.

[9:45] And I think, if I'm right correctly, the story is that he gets, like, disowned by his family for marrying Blondie.

[9:50] And that's why they become suburbanites, you know, rather than living it up.

[9:54] Oh, okay.

Dan McCoy

[9:55] Yeah.

[9:55] Well, I think that the fish out of water, like, return to that.

[9:59] Like, that seems like the interesting part of it, right?

[10:03] So, it's kind of a born yesterday type thing?

[10:06] I know I saw that movie, but I can't really remember what it was.

[10:09] Where she's, like, a gangster's mall who's, like, they want her to enter society.

Elliott Kalan

[10:12] And so, the guy comes to teach her and make her, you know, educate her on stuff, sophisticated stuff.

[10:17] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[10:17] Or, like, a My Fair Lady.

[10:18] Playing gin.

[10:19] Mm-hmm.

[10:20] Mm-hmm.

[10:21] But you want the, or you want the, I hate to bring up Vomit again, that scene in your favorite movie, Babylon, where she's at that fancy party and she just throws up all over the place.

[10:29] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[10:32] Sorry, I'm so sleepy right now.

Elliott Kalan

[10:34] No, this is good.

[10:34] This is good.

[10:35] This is great.

[10:35] Stuart, what do you think about Blondie?

[10:36] What are you going to do with her?

[10:37] And again, this is Blondie the character, not the band.

[10:40] The Blondie the band will not enter the public domain until 50 years from now.

Dan McCoy

[10:44] But could we have this Blondie start a band?

Stuart Wellington

[10:47] Yeah.

[10:47] Yes, this Blondie could start a band, for sure.

[10:49] Interesting.

[10:50] Okay, so this is what happens.

[10:51] So, Fish Out of Water story.

[10:52] They can't be called Blondie.

[10:53] Fish Out of Water story.

[10:55] She is, has to learn how to be a suburban housewife despite having a background as a flapper.

[11:02] And in the process, she inadvertently invents the brownie variation, the Blondie.

[11:08] Oh, okay.

[11:09] And they become incredibly rich.

Elliott Kalan

[11:11] That's it.

[11:12] That's the arc of the story.

[11:13] Okay, interesting.

[11:13] You could do that.

[11:14] I mean, that feels like that's your story for...

Stuart Wellington

[11:16] And Dagwood is asleep when this happens.

[11:20] Pretty terrible.

Elliott Kalan

[11:22] Sleeping off a sandwich.

Stuart Wellington

[11:24] And he is, there's a little bit of strife because suddenly they're thrust into the public eye because of her invention.

Elliott Kalan

[11:31] And is this like a big eyes type scenario where Dagwood is taking credit for the invention of the Blondie even though he had nothing to do with it?

[11:36] Of course.

Dan McCoy

[11:38] As a sleepy man, I have to say, I'm so fucking mad at that kid in Blondie who keeps waking up Dagwood.

[11:45] Just like wanders into the house to wake.

[11:47] I mean, although, also it's on Dagwood.

[11:50] Like, lock your fucking door.

[11:52] You know that annoying kid.

Elliott Kalan

[11:53] Sleep in your bedroom, not on the couch.

Stuart Wellington

[11:55] You know, that might be part of the scene.

[11:56] How does this kid not assume Dagwood has a gun?

Elliott Kalan

[12:00] I mean, the first time you wake someone up, you intrude in someone's house and wake them up and they don't shoot you.

[12:05] I think that's, the precedent has been set, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[12:09] After the first time, maybe that's when he goes to the pawn shop, he trades in his wedding band.

[12:14] His wedding band.

Elliott Kalan

[12:16] His wedding band goes, this is what brought me all the trouble.

[12:18] This is what brought me low.

[12:20] I'll trade it in for a gun now.

[12:21] So, Dan's version of Blondie and Vol is kind of like an advocation of the stand your ground laws.

[12:29] You know, that kind of thing.

Dan McCoy

[12:30] I didn't say that.

[12:31] I just said lock the door.

[12:34] I didn't say nothing about it.

[12:35] You guys brought guns into the conversation.

Elliott Kalan

[12:39] That's true.

[12:40] That's true.

[12:40] Okay, so Blondie is the story of the fall and rise of this family, a flapper who invents a dessert.

[12:47] Okay, I think that sounds great.

[12:48] I think it's pretty good.

[12:49] Yeah.

[12:50] I think that's good.

[12:50] Okay, next.

[12:51] Dan, keep it clean.

[12:54] Now in the public domain, the earliest version of Betty Boop where she still looks like a dog woman.

[12:59] That has entered the public domain.

[13:01] Not the later Betty Boop who is not a dog woman.

[13:05] Who is a dog woman.

[13:05] So, I think what…

Dan McCoy

[13:06] I don't know if there's any way of keeping this clean.

Stuart Wellington

[13:08] I think what we should do is we should sell t-shirts on the boardwalk that feature Betty Boop, but she's like covered in tattoos and has like pistols in her hands.

Elliott Kalan

[13:18] Stuart, I hate to break it to you.

[13:20] Someone stole your billion dollar idea.

[13:22] What?

Stuart Wellington

[13:23] Oh, hard are you starting spending?

Elliott Kalan

[13:28] You're like, well, what if we just did t-shirts where the Looney Tunes characters were rappers?

[13:31] Stuart, I hate to break it to you.

[13:33] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[13:33] Okay, okay.

[13:34] Well, Rick and Morty then.

[13:36] Rick and Morty, but they're like super high.

Dan McCoy

[13:40] I mean, we've got America's first cartoon sex pot, but she's a dog.

[13:44] I feel like this is…

[13:46] There's got to be some money that we can get from the furry community.

[13:49] While you guys talk about this, I'm going to Google this.

[13:51] You're going to Google this?

[13:51] You're not aware of the early dog Betty?

Elliott Kalan

[13:53] When Betty Boop first appeared, she was the girlfriend of what, Bimbo the dog?

[13:58] And so she was also supposed to be a dog and she has floppy ears and like a little bit more of a dog-like face,

[14:03] but she still has that Betty Boop baby head, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[14:08] Oh, that's kind of…

[14:09] This one's kind of terrifying.

[14:10] Is he confusing you, Stuart?

[14:12] No.

[14:12] Making you feel things, surges.

[14:14] That one's kind of weird looking because her teeth…

[14:16] There's a lot of teeth in that picture.

[14:18] But this is what we're talking about, like that kind of thing?

Elliott Kalan

[14:21] Well, actually, there was an early outcry that her teeth looked too human and so the animators went back and they gave her more cartoony teeth like she had in the video game.

[14:29] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[14:30] Just kidding.

[14:30] That's a Sonic joke.

[14:32] Okay.

[14:32] She looks…

[14:33] Okay.

[14:34] Yeah, yeah.

[14:35] I get it.

Elliott Kalan

[14:35] So what are we going to do?

[14:36] And so the Fleischer, whoever, the Fleischer company or whoever owns the Fleischer estate now, they are arguing, no, Betty Boop is not in the public domain because she is a different character than this dog woman who looks just like Betty Boop.

[14:48] But for all intents and purposes, it's this early version of Betty Boop where she's a dog.

[14:51] So what do we do with this Betty Boop dog character?

Dan McCoy

[14:54] If that's true, then maybe we could make a movie about this dog character walking around and everyone thinking that she's Betty Boop and having to disabuse people of that notion, you know, for fear that, like, it'll cause legal troubles for her, perhaps.

[15:10] I'm not sure where to go with this.

[15:11] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[15:11] Would you call it not boop or something like that?

[15:14] I'm not boop?

Dan McCoy

[15:14] Yeah.

[15:15] Boop-less.

[15:16] Boop-less.

Elliott Kalan

[15:16] Boop-less.

Stuart Wellington

[15:17] Oh, what's the diagnosis, doctor?

[15:24] Sorry.

[15:24] Boop-less.

Elliott Kalan

[15:27] This is the hardest part of my job.

[15:30] Having to deal with a dog woman who looks like Betty Boop.

Dan McCoy

[15:33] Boop job.

Elliott Kalan

[15:36] Yeah.

[15:36] Run with that, Dan.

[15:37] You got some puns on your tongue.

[15:39] No, no.

[15:40] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[15:41] I got puns on my tongue and a song in my heart.

[15:44] Would you call this a reboop?

[15:46] Yeah.

[15:47] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[15:47] So, Dan, you saw the Boop Broadway musical.

[15:50] Was she a dog woman in that?

Dan McCoy

[15:51] Yeah.

[15:51] Oh, God.

[15:52] This musical was such a fucking mess.

[15:55] I mean, it was basically just, like, they saw Barbie and they're like, let's just do that.

[16:01] Where it's, you know.

[16:02] But with Betty Boop.

[16:02] She comes to the real life and has to sort of, I don't know.

[16:07] So, you're saying she went back to life, back to reality.

Stuart Wellington

[16:10] Now, is Betty Boop is, are there, because in some ways, like, Barbie is meant to kind of

[16:16] represent womanhood, I guess.

[16:19] Is Betty Boop the same sort of character?

[16:21] I mean, Betty Boop is like Blondie.

Elliott Kalan

[16:23] Like, Betty Boop represented kind of, like, in the 30s rather than the 20s, but represented

[16:27] kind of, like, flapper, kind of, like, wild girl energy.

[16:30] You know, like, she's a party girl.

[16:32] Eventually, they, like, domesticated her, too.

[16:35] But that's what she was supposed to be.

Dan McCoy

[16:37] The funny thing about the Boop musical, to take us down this road a little bit, is there's,

[16:41] you know, this young girl character loves Betty Boop and has, like, this big, like, monologue

[16:48] at one point about all the things that Betty Boop represents.

[16:50] And I'm like, what are you talking about?

[16:53] Like, I mean, like, number one, like, no young kid knows Betty Boop as anything other than

[17:00] maybe, like, yeah, I recognize that face.

Elliott Kalan

[17:02] Oh, that's a character on a t-shirt that you buy at the beach or on a boardwalk.

Dan McCoy

[17:06] But also, like, Betty Boop doesn't recognize.

[17:08] Stop reminding me.

[17:09] Like, maybe at some point she represented some sort of, like, flapper freedom, but she

[17:14] doesn't represent anything.

Elliott Kalan

[17:16] I know.

[17:17] She's pretty sassy.

[17:18] You've seen the way she puts her hands on her hips and is like, eh, cocks her head.

Dan McCoy

[17:21] She represents, like, monsters and horny, like, ghosts, like, running after her.

[17:27] Dan, I think you're kidding.

[17:28] No.

Elliott Kalan

[17:29] The problem is you know too much about Betty Boop.

[17:31] Yeah, I guess so.

[17:32] I think to most people, they're not aware of her time spent running, being chased by ghosts

[17:35] who would then stop and do a Cab Calloway song and then go back to chasing her, you know.

[17:39] I think most people only know her as, like, a sexy baby-headed lady.

Stuart Wellington

[17:43] Yeah, you're the audience member that they dread arriving for the Boop musical.

[17:48] But that's the point.

Elliott Kalan

[17:49] Excuse me, where does this fall into Boop continuity?

Dan McCoy

[17:51] If people don't have any associations with her, they're also going to be like, what are

[17:55] you talking about?

[17:56] Like, why are you trying to make this into some sort of icon with meaning rather than,

[18:01] you know, a fun old cartoon character?

Elliott Kalan

[18:04] So your answer is we don't do anything with Betty Boop.

[18:07] We just leave her in the graveyard of ideas.

[18:09] We don't take advantage for now being in the public domain as a dog woman.

Dan McCoy

[18:13] I mean, if anything, I would want to lean into more of the weirdness of all those old Betty

[18:18] Boop cartoons.

[18:18] Like, the great thing about those is, like, they had no continuity.

[18:21] It was anything for a gag.

[18:23] Like, some weird creature would show up and a thing would happen and it would not make any

[18:28] sense.

[18:28] And then we'd go on to the next thing, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[18:30] Now, guys, we've gotten pretty far into this mini.

[18:33] And I feel like we've really kind of approached this from a writer's angle, which makes sense

[18:39] because we're all, you know, accredited writers here.

[18:42] But the...

[18:43] We haven't considered casting yet.

[18:49] And I feel like that's a big part.

[18:50] Is there anybody...

[18:51] We've talked about Blondie.

[18:52] Who have the biggest heads in Hollywood?

[18:54] It's true.

Elliott Kalan

[18:55] I will say that's one of the big strengths of the Barbie movie was getting Margot Robbie,

[19:00] an actress who looks just like Barbie, but also brings intelligence to it and is a good

[19:04] producer.

[19:05] Because she's the...

[19:06] I mean, she's the star of the movie, so she's not an unsung hero.

[19:09] But she's apparently the person who, like, was like, get Greta Gerwig in.

[19:12] I'm going to fight for the things that Greta Gerwig wants to do with this movie.

[19:14] And so they really lucked out that you had someone who is a good producer and a great actress

[19:19] who looks just like the character.

[19:20] So who could be Betty Boop?

Stuart Wellington

[19:21] I think she also won the plank competition among all the cast when they were doing a plank

[19:27] competition.

[19:28] Okay.

[19:28] I find that unsurprising considering the shape that she's in.

[19:33] I guess so.

[19:33] No, but I mean, like, she's also really tall.

[19:36] I feel like Gosling would have an advantage because he's a little shorter, right?

Elliott Kalan

[19:40] I feel like with his kind of shoulders and chest, I feel like he's unbalanced.

[19:44] Unbalanced.

[19:45] It's going to be hard to plank.

[19:46] So who would play Betty Boop?

[19:48] And then let's move on to the next character, an even more beloved cartoon character.

Dan McCoy

[19:51] Uh, I don't know.

[19:53] Who's got, who's got like a high voice?

[19:55] I don't think we're going to get the head size.

[19:57] So who could do the voice?

Elliott Kalan

[19:59] Who's got a huge head?

Dan McCoy

[20:01] I mean, I do.

[20:02] Maybe I could play Betty Boop.

Elliott Kalan

[20:03] I'm going to say, and I don't mean this in an insulting way at all.

[20:06] Christina Ricci has a very large forehead, has big eyes.

[20:09] She could be Betty Boop for sure.

Dan McCoy

[20:10] Yeah, certainly.

Elliott Kalan

[20:12] Good call.

[20:12] Okay, moving on.

[20:13] Okay, so we talked about Blondie.

[20:14] We talked about Betty Boop.

[20:15] Who's an even more beloved cartoon character who's entering the public domain?

[20:19] Flip the Frog.

[20:20] The Ub Iwerks character, Flip the Frog.

[20:22] Oh, sure.

[20:23] Ub Iwerks, of course, when he left Disney, he created the Flip the Frog character, and he

[20:27] is now in the public domain.

[20:29] Stuart, you love Flip the Frog.

Stuart Wellington

[20:30] Dan, are you Googling Flip the fucking Frog?

[20:33] Okay.

[20:33] I have it in my, I have it in my head.

[20:36] I got him saved in my hidden folder.

[20:39] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[20:40] Here we go.

[20:41] Look at him.

Stuart Wellington

[20:42] Oh, okay.

[20:44] Looks happy.

[20:45] Yeah, he looks like something.

Elliott Kalan

[20:48] He does look like something.

[20:50] You know, let's move along.

[20:50] Let's move along.

[20:51] He does.

Dan McCoy

[20:51] He looks like, he also looks like he has a sexy secret.

Elliott Kalan

[20:55] Okay, so Flip the Frog is in kind of like a, is kind of a crying game type movie.

[20:59] Okay.

[21:00] Could be.

[21:01] Who knows?

[21:02] All right.

[21:02] So let's move on.

[21:03] It's not just characters.

[21:04] There's also some books that are entering the public domain.

[21:07] Two big books in particular are entering the public domain this year.

[21:10] We can do whatever we want with them.

[21:12] One, The Maltese Falcon.

[21:14] The Maltese Falcon, the book, is now in the public domain.

[21:17] So, guys, what are we going to do with The Maltese Falcon?

[21:18] And don't just say it's a horror movie where a falcon is killing people.

Stuart Wellington

[21:22] Yeah, I mean, that's the obvious one.

[21:24] So it's, so in the movie, is it about a book called The Maltese Falcon?

Elliott Kalan

[21:30] No, but again, the movie is not in the public domain.

[21:33] That won't come into the public domain for another, I think, 11 years.

[21:35] So this is just the book, The Maltese Falcon, by Dashiell Hammett.

[21:41] So.

[21:41] Dan, you certainly read this book before, right?

Dan McCoy

[21:44] I'm trying to remember whether I actually read The Maltese Falcon.

[21:47] I think I did, but it was like.

[21:49] It's a great book.

[21:50] Back when I was in high school.

[21:53] Because I've got an idea.

[21:55] Yeah, go, go for it.

Elliott Kalan

[21:56] Okay.

[21:56] It's called The Maltese Space Falcon.

[21:58] The whole, it's the same old book, but you said it now to space.

[22:00] Damn it.

[22:01] Space detectives.

[22:02] You got space gangsters or whatever.

[22:05] Just do it.

[22:05] Call it Maltese Space Falcon.

[22:07] Or when Star Wars enters the public domain in the 2070s, I think in the year 2072 or something

[22:16] like that, then you do the Maltese Millennium Falcon.

[22:18] You can finally combine them.

Stuart Wellington

[22:20] It's really cute.

[22:20] You think the world's still going to exist then?

Elliott Kalan

[22:22] I mean, the world will exist.

[22:23] I'm not sure if humanity will exist by that point.

[22:25] You know, as he said in Jurassic World Rebirth, the world's going to shake us off like a

[22:30] bad cold or something like that.

[22:32] You know.

[22:33] So guys, Maltese Space Falcon.

[22:34] Did he say that?

[22:36] He does say that.

[22:36] Yeah.

[22:37] Wait, who's he?

[22:38] Oh, the scientist guy.

[22:40] Oh, okay.

[22:40] The sexiest son.

[22:41] Dr. Loomis.

[22:42] Okay.

[22:42] So, but what would you guys want to do with the Maltese Falcon?

[22:45] Dan, what would you want to do with like a detective mystery where they're looking for

[22:48] a valuable statue?

Stuart Wellington

[22:48] And you can't do Space Falcon.

[22:50] Elliot called dibs on Space Falcon.

[22:52] Yeah.

[22:52] I'm going to do Gunfighter Falcon.

[22:56] Like Wild West.

Elliott Kalan

[22:58] Old West.

[22:58] Okay.

[22:58] It's an Old West mystery.

[22:59] All right, Dan.

[23:00] I guess what genre?

[23:01] Is it Pirate Falcon?

[23:02] What are you going to put on there?

[23:05] Maltese Cave Falcon?

Dan McCoy

[23:07] Underwater Falcon.

Elliott Kalan

[23:09] Okay.

[23:09] The Maltese Aqua Falcon.

[23:10] How would that operate exactly?

Dan McCoy

[23:13] Well, hard to fly underwater.

[23:16] I mean, it would fly anyway.

[23:17] Again, the Maltese Falcon is a statue of the engineers.

[23:19] I'm going to change mine.

Stuart Wellington

[23:19] Can mine be a peanut butter,

[23:22] Falcon.

[23:25] Tell me how that works.

[23:26] Tell me how that operates.

[23:28] I didn't see the movie, so I can't.

Dan McCoy

[23:30] Are you talking about the peanut butter solution?

[23:32] Is that what you're playing off of?

[23:34] He's talking about the 7% solution.

Elliott Kalan

[23:36] The story where Sherlock Holmes is addicted to peanut butter and he goes to Sigmund Freud

Stuart Wellington

[23:39] to help him.

[23:39] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[23:40] So, okay, the Maltese Peanut Butter Space Falcon.

[23:44] Let's work on it.

[23:45] He goes underwater at some point.

[23:46] Maybe he goes to a water planet.

[23:48] Mm-hmm.

[23:49] Yep.

[23:49] Go on.

Stuart Wellington

[23:50] What?

[23:51] I thought, yeah.

[23:51] I thought you were-

[23:52] No, I was right.

[23:53] Peanut Butter Falcon is an existing movie.

[23:55] I already stole that idea.

[23:56] I was right.

[23:57] You guys were all wrong.

[23:57] I'm right.

Elliott Kalan

[23:59] Wrong?

[23:59] About what?

[24:00] You guys were wrong.

[24:02] I don't think we ever said that's not a thing.

[24:03] All right.

[24:04] Let's move on to the Maltese Falcon Center Space.

[24:06] Here's another book, Entering the Public Domain, The Little Engine That Could.

[24:10] Ooh, wow.

[24:11] In the public domain right now.

[24:12] What can we do with The Little Engine That Could?

Stuart Wellington

[24:14] You guys must know this story, right?

[24:15] You know this story, but what if we came at it from a new angle?

[24:20] Okay.

[24:21] What if he couldn't?

Dan McCoy

[24:22] Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

[24:23] What if we make it demotivational?

[24:26] We sort of like, you know, train children-

Elliott Kalan

[24:29] And we will train children.

[24:30] It's a book about a train, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[24:32] We need to prepare them for the world that exists now where the small get crushed and cannot succeed.

Elliott Kalan

[24:40] So the book as it ends now, The Little Engine That Could agrees to take the toys and candy and good foods for all the children on the other side of the mountain.

[24:49] She agrees to take them over the hill and she does.

[24:52] She's able to do it.

[24:53] In this for after these other-

Stuart Wellington

[24:54] But in the process, she dies, right?

[24:56] No.

Elliott Kalan

[24:57] That doesn't happen.

[24:58] It ends with her saying, I thought I could, I thought I could, I thought I could.

[25:02] It's not canonical that she dies afterwards.

[25:04] I think you're thinking of like the giving tree.

[25:06] Oh, okay, yeah.

[25:07] But the-

[25:08] So in your version of it, when the older trains say, I'm not going to do that, it's impossible.

[25:13] They are proved right.

[25:15] And The Little Engine That Could will go up the hill and then went fall backwards or like be derailed or something like that?

Dan McCoy

[25:20] Oh, it's just a big train at the top that just like sort of slaps them, slaps them down.

Elliott Kalan

[25:25] Says, we don't want the kids to have this stuff.

[25:27] Slaps her down.

[25:28] Yeah, like a goalie.

[25:29] And then what happens to the toys?

[25:31] Do they all die or what happens to them?

[25:33] They're alive?

[25:35] They're toys?

[25:36] Yeah, they're all talking and dancing around and asking her to bring her places.

[25:39] Yeah, bring her places.

[25:40] I will remind you, maybe you guys have forgotten this.

[25:42] I forgot the toys.

[25:42] This is a book for children.

[25:43] Sure, sure.

[25:45] Thank you.

[25:45] So it doesn't, it plays fast and loose with the laws of reality.

[25:48] Trains talk.

Stuart Wellington

[25:48] I mean, if we're making, yeah, but if we're making this into a movie, the audience, the core audience knew it as children.

[25:55] We want to give them something to enjoy as an adult.

[25:58] Right.

Elliott Kalan

[25:58] You want it to age up with the audience.

[26:00] That's a very good point.

[26:01] Okay, so yes.

Stuart Wellington

[26:01] So it's going to be emotionally complex, right?

[26:04] And dark and gritty.

[26:05] Yeah, the little engine has like a backstory and like a drinking problem.

Elliott Kalan

[26:11] This is, yeah, the little engine is looking for redemption and then fails.

[26:15] Does not achieve that redemption.

[26:16] Yeah, yeah.

[26:16] So this is like a Nicholas Wending Riphon type movie.

Stuart Wellington

[26:19] Yeah, maybe the little engine was the train from that thing where if you go on one side, you run over a bunch of people.

[26:24] And if you go on the other side, you run over a bunch of people.

Elliott Kalan

[26:26] So that's, okay, you bring the trolley.

[26:28] So the little engine has to go over a hill to bring the toys to the good little boys and girls on the other side.

[26:32] But there's people on the track and then there's more people on the other track.

[26:37] And she has to decide whether to switch tracks.

[26:40] Yeah.

[26:41] Wow, what a grim tale.

Stuart Wellington

[26:43] Yeah, it's gritty.

[26:44] It's super gritty.

Elliott Kalan

[26:45] And then we have like a hip-hop score, you know?

[26:48] But with some needle drops from the 80s and 90s, you know?

[26:51] Mm-hmm.

[26:52] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[26:53] A lot of fast camera movement.

Elliott Kalan

[26:55] Yeah, yeah.

[26:55] A lot of fast camera.

[26:56] Yeah, yeah.

[26:57] Exactly.

Dan McCoy

[26:57] Yeah.

[26:58] Just make it disorienting and unpleasant.

Elliott Kalan

[27:02] Sickening.

[27:02] We've got the pull quote for the poster.

[27:04] Disorienting, unpleasant, says Dan McCoy.

[27:06] Sickening, says Stuart Wellington.

Stuart Wellington

[27:08] They're like, you can pull quote your own movie?

Elliott Kalan

[27:11] You can now.

[27:12] Look, it's the future.

[27:13] Look, who cares?

[27:14] There are no rules.

[27:15] Come on.

S4

[27:15] I'm Jordan Cruciola, host of Feeling Scene, where every week I have a different actor,

[27:25] director, or writer as my co-host.

[27:27] And whoever that co-host may be, it is a sure bet that we are digging deep and having a great

[27:33] time doing it.

John Hodgman

[27:36] I love that you just did that.

S4

[27:38] Yeah, I mean, if I were going to join a cult, I think this might be it.

[27:41] A fresh look at your favorite film and a peek behind the curtain at how movies get made.

John Hodgman

[27:46] Oh, okay.

[27:46] I'm going to tell you this whole story.

[27:47] Okay.

[27:48] I almost got fired from that movie.

S4

[27:49] You should be listening to Feeling Scene.

John Hodgman

[27:53] I had so much fun.

[27:54] I love what you're doing.

S4

[27:55] I hope I did okay.

[27:56] New episodes every week on Maximum Fun.

John Hodgman

[28:01] On Judge John Hodgman, the courtroom is fake, but the disputes are real.

Dan McCoy

[28:06] Brian would say, I'm the Gumby of this family.

[28:09] He's just not.

John Hodgman

[28:10] Claiming to be Gumby is an un-Gumby-like claim.

[28:15] No, it's just Gumby and I being our authentic selves.

[28:18] So what's your complaint?

[28:19] Too many sauces?

Elliott Kalan

[28:20] There are no foods on which to put the sauces.

John Hodgman

[28:24] Have we named all the sauces on the top shelf yet?

[28:26] Not even close.

[28:27] You economize when it comes to pants.

S4

[28:30] Truly, it's not about the cleanliness of the pants.

John Hodgman

[28:32] Well, why isn't it?

[28:33] This is what I want to know.

[28:35] Judge John Hodgman.

[28:36] Fake court.

[28:37] Weird cases.

[28:39] Real justice.

[28:40] On MaximumFun.org, YouTube, and everywhere you get podcasts.

Dan McCoy

[28:44] Hey there, flop folk.

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Elliott Kalan

[30:16] And, of course, the Flophouse also has its own stuff to talk about.

[30:20] For instance, Flop TV continues apace.

[30:23] Last week was our Dr. Doodle episode of Flop TV where we talked about the 1960s Rex Harrison, Dr. Doodle.

[30:30] And we have one more episode left of Flop TV.

[30:33] Again, Flop TV is the one-hour on your computer live video broadcast where we do the Flophouse.

[30:39] But we have video segments.

[30:41] We do a PowerPoint presentation.

[30:42] It's a lot of fun stuff.

[30:43] We answer questions from the audience.

[30:45] There's one episode left.

[30:46] That's in February.

[30:47] February 7th.

[30:48] We'll be talking about Plan 9 from outer space.

[30:52] The baddest of the bad movies, supposedly.

[30:54] The one that was elevated to the tip of the top that everyone knows about.

[30:58] Plan 9 from outer space.

[30:59] The crowning masterwork of Ed Wood.

[31:01] We'll finally be talking about it February 7th.

[31:03] Not Orgy of the Dead?

[31:05] No, Orgy of the Dead is not considered his masterwork.

[31:08] Neither, not Glenn or Glenda, not Bride of the Monster, any of those things.

[31:12] Or Bride of the Atom.

[31:13] Was that what it was released as?

[31:14] I don't remember.

Dan McCoy

[31:15] It was released as Bride of the Monster.

Elliott Kalan

[31:17] Bride of the Monster.

[31:18] Okay.

[31:18] I got it mixed up.

[31:20] If you go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com, you can buy tickets for the episodes.

[31:25] Tickets for the episodes?

[31:26] You just said the season finale is coming up.

[31:28] Oh, ho, ho.

[31:28] If you missed any of the episodes, you can buy a ticket to watch the recording of that episode.

[31:33] Those will all be available through the end of February in case you can't join us live.

[31:37] If you get the season pass bundle, that's six shows for the price of five.

[31:40] You should do it.

[31:41] It's like you're taking money from us.

[31:42] Money we can use to feed our families.

[31:44] So now you get to hold on to it.

Stuart Wellington

[31:45] It's like you're stealing one episode out of our pocket.

[31:48] Like you're a little bandit.

[31:49] When we're not looking.

Dan McCoy

[31:51] Yeah, like you're a raccoon.

Elliott Kalan

[31:53] So that's theflophouse.simpleticks.com for Flop TV Season 3 as it comes to a close.

[31:58] But we are also going to be in San Francisco in just a couple weeks.

[32:02] We're going to be appearing at SF Sketch Fest at Cobb's Comedy Club once again on Sunday, January 25th.

[32:08] We're doing an afternoon show.

[32:10] So you'll still get a good night's sweep for work the next day.

[32:12] Don't worry, little baby.

[32:13] And we'll be there.

[32:15] Go to sfsketchfest.com for the schedule and tickets.

[32:20] It's going to be a lot of fun.

[32:21] We're going to be talking about Master of Disguise, the Dana Carvey movie that has been one of the most requested movies for us to talk about.

[32:27] I think just because of the scene where he dresses up like a turtle man.

[32:30] That's not the whole movie.

[32:32] No, it's just one scene.

[32:33] Unfortunately, it's a very short part of the movie.

[32:34] Unfortunately, he doesn't spend the whole movie as a turtle man.

[32:37] But that will be Sunday, January 25th at Cobb's Comedy Club as for SF Sketch Fest.

Dan McCoy

[32:42] Don't worry though, Stuart.

[32:43] Pistachio Disguise.

[32:44] He puts on a lot more disguises.

[32:46] Some of them are racist.

[32:48] Oh, boy.

Elliott Kalan

[32:49] Can't wait to talk about it.

[32:50] That'll be great.

[32:51] Yeah.

[32:52] We had a great time at SF Sketch Fest last year when we talked about Cutthroat Island.

Stuart Wellington

[32:56] When you do all those accents, Dan, you can be like, it's from the movie.

[32:59] I will not.

[32:59] I have to do it.

Elliott Kalan

[33:00] He's in the movie.

[33:01] All right.

[33:01] So anyway, I'm going to get canceled for this.

[33:03] But I guess it's okay for Dana Carvey to do it 25 years ago.

[33:07] That's what I sound like.

[33:09] I sound like a cartoon Brooklyn trucker.

Dan McCoy

[33:12] Me, Dan McCoy.

[33:13] All right.

[33:13] I guess I'm going to get, I'm not allowed to, but all right.

Elliott Kalan

[33:16] So that's, again, go to sfsketchfest.com for the schedule.

[33:20] There are a lot of great shows going on and to get tickets.

[33:23] And if you want to buy a book and have me sign it, go ahead and buy a copy of Joke Farming,

[33:28] How to Write Comedy and Other Nonsense.

[33:30] It's available in stores now.

[33:32] But let's get back to the show.

[33:34] We're going to talk about just a few more properties that are now in the public domain,

[33:38] what we're going to do with them.

[33:39] So let's talk about a couple of movies that are going to be in the, that are now in the

[33:43] public domain as of the release of this episode.

[33:46] These are movies people watch.

[33:47] Dan, did you know Animal Crackers is now the second Marx Brothers movie to enter the

[33:53] public domain?

[33:54] What can we do with Animal Crackers?

[33:56] I know you love the idea of messing with it.

Dan McCoy

[33:58] Yeah.

[33:59] Please, let's take something I love and do something new with it for no good reason.

[34:04] Chris Pratt's in it.

[34:06] Oh, God.

Elliott Kalan

[34:07] So this is an Animal Crackers remake.

[34:10] Chris Pratt stars as which of the brothers or all three of them?

[34:13] Garfield.

[34:14] Or all four of them.

[34:15] I'm sorry.

[34:15] It's a four Marx Brothers movie.

[34:16] Garfield.

[34:17] Wait.

[34:18] So he's, or we were, wait, he's Garfield in Animal Crackers?

Stuart Wellington

[34:22] Yeah.

[34:23] Because Garfield's an animal.

[34:25] That's a good point.

[34:26] That's a good point.

Dan McCoy

[34:28] Like, so, you know, I mean, obviously the key component to any Marx Brothers movie is the

[34:33] Marx Brothers.

[34:34] Debatable.

[34:34] We don't have access to that.

Elliott Kalan

[34:37] Debatable.

[34:37] They made a Three Stooges movie without the Three Stooges.

Stuart Wellington

[34:40] Otherwise.

[34:41] What about the, what about brain donors without them?

[34:44] I, sure.

[34:45] I mean, brain donors is the closest.

[34:47] The closest he's done.

Dan McCoy

[34:48] And they do a, they do an okay job.

[34:50] There's laughs in brain donors.

[34:51] It's a funny movie.

[34:52] Yeah.

[34:53] Um, but yeah, I'm trying to like think like what are the, like Animal Crackers is a musical

[35:00] mystery about a, uh.

[35:03] A stolen painting.

[35:04] A stolen painting.

[35:04] And you never quite find out who actually stole the painting.

[35:09] I don't think really in any satisfying way.

Elliott Kalan

[35:12] I mean, because also it's, it's a movie version of a play where they cut like a third of the

[35:16] play out to make it into a movie.

[35:18] So a lot of stuff was lost.

[35:20] Uh, what, what you missed in mystery.

[35:21] We've got a mystery characters in the public domain now.

[35:23] Nancy Drew.

[35:24] Maybe we just insert Nancy Drew into the Marx Brothers Animal Crackers movie.

Dan McCoy

[35:28] Honestly, that would be really funny if there was like a, uh, child detective who was taking

[35:33] things really seriously.

[35:35] And then you had these sort of like four numbskulls running around.

[35:39] And trying to mess it up.

[35:39] Who are acting like children.

[35:40] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[35:41] Dan, I think maybe we just made that movie better.

[35:44] What do you think?

Dan McCoy

[35:45] Uh, I don't think it's, I mean, it's one of my favorite movies in the world, but it's,

[35:48] it's, it's, that's a good idea.

Elliott Kalan

[35:49] We didn't make it better, but the idea of a, of a, I don't want to, I don't love it usually

[35:54] when the Marx Brothers characters are engaging with children in the movies because it's a lot

[35:58] of like the children love them.

[36:00] They're just really delightful.

[36:01] Like it's a way of softening the characters.

[36:02] But I do like the idea of a child who is irritated by the Marx Brothers.

Dan McCoy

[36:06] Yeah.

[36:07] Like act like adults.

[36:09] Exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[36:10] Um, let's go to, here's one other movie that's in the public domain now.

[36:14] This is a best picture winning movie.

[36:16] All quiet on the Western front is now in the public domain.

[36:19] The novel I believe already was.

[36:21] Now the movie is, we could do whatever we want with that movie.

[36:24] What are we going to do with it?

[36:25] So like put a musical number in it.

Stuart Wellington

[36:28] Yeah.

[36:29] Yeah.

[36:29] Let's play it all backwards.

[36:31] Like it's somebody's memories.

Dan McCoy

[36:33] So I was like, so functionally like, okay, what's different that like between the, like

[36:38] we already could have adapted the book.

Elliott Kalan

[36:40] I mean, and they just did a couple of years ago.

[36:42] There's just a new version of all quiet on the Western.

Dan McCoy

[36:43] And they like did really well, right?

[36:45] So if the movie is what is like available to us.

Elliott Kalan

[36:49] The actual movie is what's available.

[36:50] So we could re-edit it.

[36:52] We could insert ourselves in it.

Dan McCoy

[36:53] We could tint it and add like 80s music, like the Giorgio Moroder.

[36:58] Metropolis.

[36:59] Good idea.

[36:59] Yeah.

[37:00] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[37:00] Well, what if we, what if we tinted it and we added modern music to it?

[37:03] What if it's all Taylor Swift scored?

[37:05] I mean, that's not public domain music, but.

Stuart Wellington

[37:07] We do a section that's like rotoscoped.

[37:10] Yeah, you could do that.

[37:11] Are you allowed to do that or is that?

[37:13] Yeah, you could do that.

Elliott Kalan

[37:13] Are we allowed to do that before?

[37:15] No, we couldn't.

[37:16] So the thing is, anything that is specific to that movie, any changes that were made between

[37:21] the book for that movie or anything that's specific.

[37:24] The imagery from that movie was not in the public domain.

[37:27] Now it is.

[37:28] Now it's.

[37:28] So you could rotoscope it now.

Stuart Wellington

[37:30] What's different in the movie?

[37:32] The part with the aliens?

Elliott Kalan

[37:34] Yeah, yeah.

[37:34] The part, well, now the part with the aliens, because we're adding it.

[37:36] We're adding that in.

[37:38] I don't remember all the differences between the movie and the book.

[37:40] But now you could take the footage from that movie and you could do whatever you want with

[37:44] it.

[37:45] You know?

Dan McCoy

[37:45] So I think Dan's idea of doing a Giorgio Moroder on it is kind of a fun one.

Elliott Kalan

[37:49] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[37:50] Yeah.

[37:50] Let's make it like an MTV.

[37:52] All quiet on the rest in front.

[37:53] There you go.

[37:54] Yeah.

[37:55] It loses some of the anti-war message.

[37:57] But it gains dance ability.

Elliott Kalan

[38:00] I mean, when you put Love is a Battlefield on there, does that dilute the anti-war message?

[38:03] Or does it make it harder?

[38:05] Hit harder?

[38:06] Yeah.

[38:07] That's a good question.

[38:07] Again, Love is a Battlefield, not a public domain song.

[38:09] We'd have to license that song.

[38:12] Let's talk about, there's a play that's in the public domain now, The Human Voice by Jeanne

[38:16] Cocteau.

[38:17] That's the play where it's a woman on the phone with her lover who is leaving her.

[38:22] And it's just, I believe it's just a one-person play the whole time.

[38:25] What are we going to do with this play?

[38:27] Now that it's in the public domain, we do whatever we want with it.

[38:29] Can we finally provide the other half of that phone conversation?

[38:32] And maybe it's really funny.

Dan McCoy

[38:33] Yeah, we intercut it with Bob Newhart doing a one-sided clone conversation.

Elliott Kalan

[38:38] Again, Bob Newhart's work is not in the public domain.

[38:40] We'd have to license that.

[38:41] But we don't have to pay for the Human Voice license.

[38:44] So we can use that money for Bob Newhart.

[38:45] It's half the price of what it would have been a year ago.

[38:48] A year ago, if you want to do that Human Voice Bob Newhart mashup, you would have had

[38:52] to pay out the nose.

[38:53] Now you've just got to pay out one nostril.

[38:54] Yeah.

[38:58] What are we doing here, guys?

Stuart Wellington

[39:00] We should just cut together footage from all these other movies that involve people talking

[39:06] on the phone.

[39:06] So it's like she's talking to untold millions of people on the other side of that line.

[39:11] Although we'll have to pay for a lot of things.

[39:14] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[39:14] Although, I mean.

[39:14] But this is going to make boffo BO.

[39:17] So I think we get to.

[39:18] Oh, yeah.

[39:19] People are going to be thirsty for this.

[39:22] This is clamoring.

Elliott Kalan

[39:23] Guaranteed.

[39:24] Guaranteed.

[39:25] Oh, a new spin on the Human Voice?

[39:27] Wonderful.

[39:27] This is exactly what I want.

[39:29] This I got to see.

Stuart Wellington

[39:30] Like the Human Voice?

[39:32] I've got one of those.

Elliott Kalan

[39:35] It's like I'm in the picture.

[39:36] All right.

[39:36] I'll buy it.

[39:36] What happens in this one?

[39:39] Yeah.

[39:39] Sounds good.

[39:40] Okay.

[39:41] So that's what we do.

[39:41] We just cut it with a lot of this.

[39:42] It'll be like that Apple commercial for the iPhone years ago.

[39:45] It was just shots of people on the phone.

[39:46] But now there's a story to it.

[39:48] Or what if.

[39:49] Do you know the movie Sorry, Wrong Number?

[39:51] Which is.

[39:51] I do know.

[39:52] Which is not in the public domain.

[39:53] But if you cut those together.

[39:55] So she's on the one end.

[39:57] Again, this is the play.

[39:58] So we'd have to shoot the footage of it.

[39:59] There is a movie of the Human Voice.

[40:01] But it's not in the public domain yet.

[40:02] Okay.

[40:03] The play where.

[40:04] If you had an actor on stage doing this one side of the phone call.

[40:08] And then you had the footage from Sorry, Wrong Number.

[40:10] Where she believes there's a man who's trying.

[40:12] She's overheard a call about a man who's going to kill her.

[40:14] And then you cut those together.

[40:16] Yeah.

[40:17] There you go.

[40:17] You've got your story.

[40:18] It's a good idea.

[40:18] Yeah.

[40:19] And finally.

[40:20] The last thing we're going to talk about today.

[40:23] Finally.

[40:23] It's in the public domain.

[40:24] I know Dan you've been clamoring for something.

[40:26] I hope it's Alf.

Dan McCoy

[40:31] Alf is in the public domain.

[40:32] But Gordon Shumway is not.

[40:34] I don't understand how.

[40:35] Because that was a later edition.

Elliott Kalan

[40:37] You can do all the stuff about Alf in the house.

[40:40] You can't do anything about Mel Mac that was established in the cartoon series.

Stuart Wellington

[40:43] Oh, I don't care that.

[40:46] Just kill me.

Elliott Kalan

[40:47] But finally in the public domain is the original German text of Relativity, the special and general theory by Albert Einstein.

[40:55] The English translation has been in the public domain since 1995.

[40:58] But we've been unable to touch the original German text.

Dan McCoy

[41:02] And it's so much more beautiful than the original German.

Elliott Kalan

[41:04] No, because it's a beautiful language.

[41:05] Exactly.

[41:06] Dan, Stu, what are we going to do now that we have – now that we can do whatever we want with the German text of this book?

[41:10] You speak German.

Stuart Wellington

[41:11] Yeah.

[41:12] I can a little German speak.

[41:15] Yeah, let's – I mean, obviously we put a beat to it.

[41:19] We released it as a fucking awesome rap song.

[41:24] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[41:26] It's in German so people won't be able to argue whether or not it sounds good.

[41:30] Too obvious to say.

[41:32] But, you know, the best ideas are sometimes like that.

Elliott Kalan

[41:35] Sometimes it's just the first one.

[41:37] The first one, yeah.

[41:38] All right.

[41:39] So just to continue with – just to wrap up what we've talked about.

[41:42] Yeah, sure.

[41:42] We've really come up with a lot of – we've taken – I think we've taken –

Stuart Wellington

[41:45] You TM'd this, right?

[41:47] You TM'd the whole episode, right?

Elliott Kalan

[41:48] Well, the flop house is, of course, copyright and trademark of us.

[41:52] But we've done exactly what public domain is for, which is to take pieces of culture and be able to – and not just culture but also scientific discoveries, things like that.

[42:03] And to make new things about them that enrich them, that enrich the common culture and that add new meaning and new ideas to the pot of ideas that all of humanity gets to pull from.

[42:15] So those ideas we talked about Nancy Drool.

[42:17] It's Nancy Drew, but she's gross.

[42:21] Blondie.

[42:21] She's inventing the blondie.

[42:23] That's the story of that.

[42:26] Buddy Boop is a – there's a dog woman who's constantly being confused for Betty Boop and she is tired of it.

[42:31] Flip the Frog has a sexual secret we didn't really get into.

[42:35] The Maltese Falcon now takes place in space or perhaps it has peanut butter.

[42:39] The peanut butter falcon, again, not in the public domain.

[42:41] But the Maltese Falcon is in space or underwater.

[42:43] The little engine that couldn't.

[42:45] We've taken that beautiful tale of inspiration and we've made it a realistic tale of disappointment.

[42:49] Animal Crackers now has a little kid who is constantly annoyed by the Marx Brothers in it.

[42:53] All Quiet in the Western Front is full of 80s hits and tinted imagery.

[42:58] And the human voice is now slammed up against another movie that we don't have the rights to, unfortunately.

[43:04] And finally, Einstein has taken his proper role as a rap star, a hip-hop luminary.

[43:10] The real MC Squared.

Stuart Wellington

[43:13] Oh, my God.

Elliott Kalan

[43:15] That's what we release it as.

[43:16] Einstein equals MC Squared.

[43:17] We release it as Relativity, the special, the general theory club remix by MC Squared.

[43:23] That's what we do.

[43:25] Guys, we did it.

[43:26] There's a reason we have the public domain and we fulfilled it today.

[43:29] We did it.

[43:29] So thank you for coming with me on this journey.

[43:31] Thank you, listeners, for coming with us on this journey as well.

[43:34] We, of course, are The Flophouse.

[43:35] We are produced by Alex Smith, our producer.

[43:37] He goes by the name of Howell Doughty.

[43:39] Online, look up his music and podcasts.

[43:41] He's a wonderful person and a very funny and talented individual.

[43:43] We are part of the Maximum Fun Podcast Network.

[43:46] Please go to MaximumFun.org to listen to other great podcasts you will probably enjoy.

[43:51] And until then, just keep listening to The Flophouse tell people about us.

[43:55] Why don't we leave a five-star rating so that people know that we're doing wonderful things

[43:58] with the public domain here?

[44:00] Come see us on Flop TV.

[44:01] And by come see us, I mean tune in on your computer.

[44:03] Come see us January 25th in San Francisco at Cobb's Comedy Club.

[44:06] Otherwise, that's all the business we've got right now, guys.

[44:09] We'll see you next week on a movie version of The Flophouse where we're talking about a movie

[44:13] rather than a mini version where we drive each other insane.

[44:17] Talk about a mini, yeah.

[44:18] We talk about a mini, yeah.

[44:20] Minnie Mouse is going to be in the public domain very soon if she isn't already.

Stuart Wellington

[44:24] I can't wait.

[44:25] Okay, so for The Flophouse, that's been Elliot Kalin.

[44:27] This is Dan McCoy over here, and I'm Stewie Wellington saying bow, wow, wow.

Dan McCoy

[44:34] Perfect.

[44:35] Maximum Fun.

[44:42] A worker-owned network.

[44:43] Of artist-owned shows.

[44:45] Supported.

[44:45] Directly.

[44:46] By you.

FH Mini 143 - IP Freely 2026

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