FH Mini 98 - In the Public Domain

[0:00] Welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Elliot Kalin and this is a Flophouse Mini. That's right,

[0:08] it's an off week, we're not talking about a movie, or are we? We're not. And we're going

[0:12] to be talking about some other things that are movie related, maybe, or maybe not. I'm

[0:16] joined here by my regular co-hosts.

[0:17] Wow, you're really being cagey.

[0:18] Yep, their names are?

[0:19] Dan McCoy.

[0:20] And?

[0:21] And Stuart Wellingtown.

[0:22] What a great couple of co-hosts. And you know what, before we get into this mini, I just

[0:28] want to tell you how much fun I had with these two guys appearing in front of four

[0:34] amazing audiences as part of our West Coast Errors Tour. Now, we've released a couple

[0:39] of episodes on the feed already, I believe, right Dan? This is our first episode that

[0:43] we're recording back after the tour, and we had such a good time. I just want to say thanks

[0:48] to everybody who came to see those shows. Thanks to everybody who came up to us afterwards

[0:52] and told us how great we are. Thanks even to the people who came up and had criticisms

[0:56] for us. I guess we'll take into account, we'll, you know, we'll take them to heart.

[1:00] Yeah, they seem to be really reading you the riot act.

[1:03] Yeah, yeah, well, there's, there's.

[1:05] I think that was just, I think that was just Hodgman, though.

[1:08] Yeah, mostly, yeah. But he, but he really was, in that he literally told me I could

[1:13] not riot.

[1:14] No, Hodgman was very kind to us. Like, you know, the, the, the civilians were kind to

[1:20] us and our, you know, other network hosts were very kind to us.

[1:24] And our fellow comedy and podcasting people.

[1:27] Hodgman came up before, while you were still getting the, getting your stuff together.

[1:32] And he was like, I'm the third beach. It's me, John, host of the Plum Facts.

[1:36] There you go. He was carrying a skateboard around.

[1:39] Hello fellow beaches.

[1:40] Just like you. That's how, yeah, that's how he tricked. Everyone's like, that's Dan, right?

[1:44] He's got a skateboard.

[1:45] That's what I'm known for.

[1:47] I want to thank the people of Vancouver, the people of Portland, San Francisco, and I want

[1:51] to thank the people at Sketchfest. And I want to thank the people of Los Angeles.

[1:55] You guys are all great. I hope we get to see you again sometime. We probably won't be on

[1:58] the West Coast again very soon.

[2:01] I mean, you're, you're there right now.

[2:03] Yeah, yes, true. I'll be there. I am there right now. Good point. You know what? I'm

[2:07] right. You're right. Put me in jail. You're right. Put me in my jail. I'm wrong.

[2:10] I'm just going to add it to the scoreboard.

[2:13] Stewards once again on the board, as you'll find out about next week in the episode that

[2:16] we already recorded today, but which won't come out till next week.

[2:19] Oh, boy, where that Mr. Show Sketch, the pre-shaped coffin show.

[2:23] Yeah. So we do have a show coming up in May in the UK. We're hoping to plan some other

[2:30] live shows, but we're done talking about that now. The tour went great. Thanks, everybody,

[2:34] for coming to the show. We're going to talk about the other big event of this year.

[2:38] Besides the Errors Tour, this is a big year. Dan, there's a presidential election coming up.

[2:44] There's there's all sorts of bad things going on.

[2:47] Also, there's probably some movies coming out this year. But the biggest,

[2:51] most important event of the year has already happened. It happened over a month ago.

[2:55] Guys, can you guess what it is? The most important thing that happened in twenty twenty four

[2:59] over a month ago. So this is so it's now February over a month ago.

[3:05] When's Toyota Thon?

[3:09] You know what? I don't know. That's one of the questions that man has been pondering

[3:13] plenty. It's not the Honda days. Honda days is in December.

[3:17] I'll tell you, guys, at the very beginning of this year, January 1st,

[3:21] Mickey Mouse entered the public domain. We did it, everybody. We did it.

[3:26] Air Horn, Air Horn, Air Horn. We have access to that very

[3:29] what that one very specific version of Mickey Mouse.

[3:32] Well, we have access to the original Mickey Mouse cartoons, Steamboat Willie,

[3:36] the Galloping Gaucho and the silent version of Plane Crazy, not the sound version of Plane

[3:41] Crazy, everybody, that doesn't enter the public domain until next year.

[3:43] But after many years of Disney fighting it and trying to extend that protection,

[3:47] finally, we have the earliest Mickey Mouse in the public domain to do whatever we want with.

[3:52] Guys, are you familiar with what the public domain is?

[3:57] Sort of. Yeah, it means there's not covered under copyright law.

[4:01] Is that where if you get in trouble, they put you in the stocks and throw like tomatoes at you?

[4:05] You're both right. Yes. If you use a copyrighted character,

[4:09] they put you in the stocks and they throw tomatoes at you. But yeah, for the reason that,

[4:14] for instance, It's a Wonderful Life became a perennial holiday favorite is that it fell out

[4:19] of the public domain, meaning that people didn't have to pay to like broadcast it every year.

[4:24] So they did. And then it became a big beloved favorite, like I said,

[4:29] when it was initially not such a success. Oh, Night of the Living Dead.

[4:33] Exactly. Well, Night of the Living Dead is one of the saddest stories in the public domain world

[4:38] because they literally forgot to put a copyright notice on the film.

[4:41] And so it was instantly in the public domain. And George Romero didn't see any of that cash.

[4:45] But Dan is right that that It's a Wonderful Life literally fell out of the public domain.

[4:49] The public domain is a giant who has huge hands and he holds all the things that are copyrighted,

[4:54] but he still has space between his fingers. And so his It's a Wonderful Life fell out.

[4:59] And so I mean, it's based on this idea, right? You copyright something.

[5:02] And the idea is I created this thing. I should get to make money off of it for a certain amount

[5:06] of time to reward me for creating it. And then a certain point, I stopped making money off.

[5:10] It becomes part of our common cultural clay. Now, as a creator of things, I like copyright

[5:15] because it means chitching for me and my heirs for a certain amount of time. All that horse

[5:20] meets dog money is going to come in pretty handy to my to my heirs as soon as it pays off.

[5:24] It's please buy my picture books. Shiftless lay about sons. I'm projecting into the future.

[5:29] Yeah, exactly. And for a second, I thought you were saying all that horse meat. And I'm like,

[5:33] Elliot, don't brag about your horse meat addiction on the podcast.

[5:36] I have to go to France for it. It's so it's very expensive just for the flights.

[5:41] But there's a lot of stuff that enters the public domain kind of each year because the

[5:44] because the copyright runs out. And this year there's a whole bunch of them.

[5:48] It's mostly stuff from 1928. There's some sound recordings from 1923.

[5:52] Finally, you get my hands on this. Finally, the original recording of Yes,

[5:55] We Have No Bananas is free to use. Alex, throw it in the background.

[6:00] We're going to stop us. Eddie Cantor. Sorry, he can't.

[6:04] Nothing you can do about it. Public domain and you're dead.

[6:06] Play the whole song. Alex, I hope right now. Yes,

[6:09] we have no bananas. The original Eddie Cantor version is playing. Also, the original theatrical

[6:16] like the song lyrics for Animal Crackers. We just sing those that the Marsh Brothers play.

[6:21] That's public domain now. A lot of great silent movies. The Cameraman, Passion Joan of Arc,

[6:26] Speedy, The Wind, The Crowd. They're all public domain now. Alex,

[6:29] throw the Passion Joan of Arc in the background. Play that silent movie.

[6:34] Yes. Yes, we have no bananas. Cut. Yes, we have no bananas. Play the soundtrack.

[6:39] Play the dialogue from Speedy, the Harold Lloyd movie. There isn't any. That's the joke. Anyway,

[6:46] we've obviously got a lot of experience with the public domain.

[6:49] Stuart, what have you done with public domain stuff?

[6:52] Uh, well, let's see. I've written a lot of spec scripts. Uh, I've drawn some, say,

[6:58] your wish. You're writing spec scripts for things that are in the public domain.

[7:02] You're doing it wrong. I just got to tell you that. Where were you when I was writing them?

[7:07] Oh, boy. Yeah. I wasted all this time. I hope I can get the rights to Hansel and

[7:11] Gretel or else I'll never be able to produce this. I guess I'm wrong. I guess if you're

[7:17] using characters that are in the public domain, then that's a good idea. No one can stop you.

[7:21] I'm just thinking of spec scripts in the old sense of, like, you're writing for, like,

[7:25] a sitcom. Oh, see, I don't think there's a I don't think there's a Hansel and Gretel sitcom

[7:30] currently in production that you can try. Oh, that's what a spec script is. I thought

[7:34] it was written on some cured Italian meats. I mean, that's a that is a kind of it just means

[7:41] paying you for it yet. So I guess, yeah, you know, speaking of a lot of a lot of books

[7:46] entered the public domain, the United States, every country has its own copyright laws in the

[7:50] United States. So many books enter the public domain this year. Finally, finally, you can have

[7:54] all these characters meet each other. Dan, I know you love H.G. Wells's work, right? He's fine.

[8:00] Finally, you can use H.G. Wells's amazing character, Mr. Blutzworthy on Rampole Island,

[8:05] which is now in the public domain. Classic character of Mr. Blutzworthy.

[8:10] Dan, why aren't you writing this down? This is important.

[8:14] I don't know how to spell Blutzworthy. Yeah. And also Tarzan and Tarzan. Tarzan is

[8:19] in the public domain now, too. Anyway, so and Dan, I know you love Agatha Christie.

[8:24] All of my drawings are legal. Dan, I know I know you love mystery novels, right?

[8:30] You love Agatha Christie. Finally, one of her finally her classic novels in the public domain,

[8:35] The Mystery of the Blue Train, a book that I had never heard of until I saw it listed on a public

[8:40] domain list of things that are in the public domain now. Mystery of the Blue Train. I got

[8:43] to read this. Yeah. What does that mean? I don't know. It's like a blue house and they live there

[8:50] and they're blue and everything is blue. I don't know. Yeah. The train, instead of going choo choo,

[8:54] it says da-boo-dee-da-boo-die while it's going through. Yeah. And it says saying I think I can.

[8:59] It goes, I think I'm blue. I think I'm blue. Although the little engine that could is also

[9:02] blue. Da-boo-dee-da-boo-die. Yeah. Wow. I'm learning so much. This is a really informative

[9:08] episode. File this one under informative, not comedy. Yeah. So, you know, so anyway, this is,

[9:15] you know, who does a lot with the public domain? Disney. So it's ironic that they've been trying

[9:20] to keep Mickey Mouse out of the public domain, but so much of their classic hits are in the public

[9:24] domain. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, Frozen. It's all public

[9:28] domain stuff. I'm currently writing a Hercules comic book series for Dynamite Comics based on

[9:32] the Disney character. All that Greek myth stuff is in the public domain. It's not trademark Zeus

[9:37] anymore. He can't sue me. Sorry, Zeus, can't sue me. And without the public domain, Disney comes

[9:43] up with stuff like Brother Bear or Home on the Range, not their top drawer stuff, you know.

[9:49] So anyway, here's the disappointing thing about using the public domain is that it means anyone

[9:55] can use it, not just people who have a good idea. So Mickey Mouse suddenly is in the public domain.

[10:00] What do people do with them they mainly make they blood and honey him up exactly they did

[10:10] Spend more time with this character Dan. Oh

[10:14] Man, dirty D. McSee makes up an up here. I call this is the public domain now wouldn't be twisted

[10:21] Yeah, dirty dirty. What are the public domain characters can be killers now?

[10:25] Oh, I don't know man

[10:27] Well, what do you get from speedy?

[10:29] What if he was a killer what the the longest in print children's book millions of cats is in the public domain now dirty Dan?

[10:36] What should we do with millions of cats?

[10:39] Millions of cats imagine if they all killed each other

[10:43] Call those down battle royale. That's right. You're deranged. That's great. Okay, lady chatter

[10:47] Lee's lovers in the public domain now, what should lady chatter Lee do Dan dirty Dan?

[10:52] To turn it from being a lover to a killer

[10:56] What about the three penny opera, let's make it twisted

[11:00] Well, isn't that already better killer? It was a trick trick question. It's already twisted. It's already it already is

[11:06] Okay, so thank God

[11:08] So taking over my body. I'm glad it's gone

[11:12] We were able to get that spirit out and it's it's very frustrating to me that it's like

[11:17] Oh people can do whatever they want with these characters

[11:19] They just turn them into murderers or they just make them have sex with each other and

[11:24] Someday in the not-too-distant future like the Marvel and DC heroes the earliest ones are gonna be in the public

[11:30] I think it's about 10 years from now that the earliest Batman and Superman stories enter the public domain

[11:34] Yeah, they're just gonna have them have sex with each other

[11:36] I don't I don't know how to tell you this Elliot, but there's already a lot of images of those characters having sex with one another

[11:45] Do you have a PowerPoint presentation that would prove this to me I just might

[11:49] That's a reference for people who saw the shows on the tour

[11:54] Yeah, Dan Dan scoured the local train yards to find hastily made hobo porn

[12:02] This porn means that a nice lady lives inside

[12:09] So guys I wanted to talk to you about how to show showing people how to do the public domain, right?

[12:15] Okay, we're gonna take a few newly in the public domain

[12:18] Properties and we're gonna do it, right because it feels like what people want

[12:21] What people want for Mickey Mouse is not to see him killing people

[12:24] They want to see him doing like fun funny stuff like he in theory did in the 30s

[12:29] But when you watch those cartoons, you're not like they're not hilarious, you know

[12:34] Later Mickey cartoons, however, where he just sort of like was an affable

[12:39] Suburban guy with a dog. Yeah. Yeah, that's true

[12:42] And there actually have been some very good recent Mickey Mouse cartoons that I think are very funny

[12:46] But I in the wonderful world of Mickey Mouse series

[12:48] But they cut that's because they kind of like Ren and Stim beat up Mickey Mouse a little bit like he's not gross

[12:52] But it is that kind more that kind of animal

[12:54] They went back to sort of the anarchic spirit of the really early ones. Yeah when Mickey was kind of a dick

[13:00] Yeah, he just made music by herding animals. Yeah, that's not that sounds twisted. Yeah, actually the original Mickey was pretty twisted, you know

[13:09] He was more apt to like pull a revolver on someone didn't you would think from knowing the Disney company today

[13:16] There is there was also yeah, there's a yeah. Well the original Mickey Mouse. Yeah, it's true in the original cartoons

[13:22] I think he was like a bootlegger right who ran like a criminal syndicate and he killed people on camera

[13:28] Know about that, but I know that kidnap the Lindbergh, baby

[13:32] In the original cartoons certainly in like the Floyd Godfrey's in comics there was a lot of you know

[13:39] Adventure and shoot-ups and stuff. Mm-hmm. So so we're gonna show people

[13:43] There's more to these characters than just making them shoot people, you know, that's apparently what the original Mickey Mouse did

[13:47] Here's some characters. Let's put them let there in the public domain now. Let's figure out what to do with them

[13:52] Okay, these are famous characters that everybody loves number one Tigger Tigger's in the public domain now, how do you do it, right?

[13:59] Yeah, how do we do it right Dan show me a real Dan not not twisted dirty D who just makes the characters

[14:05] No, no, I know real Tigger. Yeah, so what do you see you he bounces?

[14:10] Flounces, you know, it bounces and flounces bouncy flouncy, but that's in the

[14:15] Thing is that song is in the Disney cartoon, which is not the public domain. No, it's the original Tigger who's in the stories

[14:21] Let me just look at this originally email and story. Oh wait, he's pulling

[14:24] He's hurting animals to make music and pulling guns on people

[14:27] No, no, he doesn't do that, you know, he's uh, he's a kind of a hyperactive kid of the hundred acre woods

[14:36] So, what do we do it like and wait can Winnie the Pooh be in this or is he not?

[14:40] Yes, Winnie the Pooh is also in the earliest the old version is in the I've not seen blood

[14:48] That was it feels like that was the first time when someone was like wait a minute if this is in the public domain

[14:53] This child character can do killer things, that's all that's what we can do in it open the flood

[14:58] Yeah, what do you think? Did you like that one? No, I people kept asking us to do it on the podcast

[15:03] I'm like, I don't want to even support this that much. It's just such a

[15:08] Like first idea like edgelord dumb like who cares? Hmm. Okay, so we're not gonna do that. So

[15:16] What is Tigger gonna open up a small business? I'm gonna go to school

[15:21] Is he gonna is it are we gonna have a Paddington thing where a family adopts a Tigger and he's gonna I

[15:28] Don't know like teach him the meaning of love or happiness or something. I think we have to yeah, that sounds pretty

[15:33] I mean that you could get that made certainly. Yeah. Yeah, if the family's like, oh grumpy and dysfunctional and then

[15:40] Work and the mom's like, uh, I'm addicted to painkillers and the kids are like, hmm. Well, we're we're already

[15:47] You have a band all we care about is our band and then

[15:50] Looking at phones. Yeah. Yeah, we're just all about screens

[15:53] that's all we care about and they go they're gonna go on us on a last-minute vacation and

[15:57] Society collapses while they're at the house, but then ticker is with them. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yep. I made it

[16:04] Yeah, no, I don't want to offend any Tigger

[16:08] Partisans out there. Okay, but that's the character like as a lifelong you're that's the character that irritates me the most

[16:15] It's like, you know what I bet I wonder if Eeyore is in the public domain what would you do with him?

[16:22] I'll get Charlie Kaufman on the script because I feel like you have a real feeling for the mature. Okay, sure

[16:30] What is it like it seems like you're really giving up a real opportunity for yourself Dan to advance your career by writing the Tigger

[16:35] Movie, but you know Kaufman. Yeah dance in it for the love of the game here. Yeah, you're a live of the TIG

[16:40] I love the ER. Yeah, I

[16:42] Are yeah, I don't know man, like maybe he carries a storm cloud with him wherever he goes and he learns that

[16:51] He needs to find a place where he fits in. You know, he brings brings the rains to the desert with it

[16:57] Okay. Yeah

[17:00] Metaphorical tale of you know leaning into

[17:04] the the things that people

[17:06] Try and shy away from sadness

[17:08] Maybe yeah, maybe he travels around encounters people and everybody's trying to cheer him up and

[17:13] They they end up getting in touch with what makes them happy in the process. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, that's really nice. That's great

[17:20] Yeah, I love it. That's a good way to handle it takes the weight of the world onto his shoulders his donkey shoulders

[17:25] So you become happier? So what's your shoulders like the front shoulders?

[17:31] That's a good point. He has four legs. Yeah, I think the back shoulders are called the butt

[17:36] But shoulders, okay, okay. Yeah, it's kind of a real Christ figure you are in this in this reading of it. Yeah. Yeah

[17:43] Okay. Yeah, man. I think we're doing a great job here. I think we're doing a killer

[17:48] That yeah, then if he kills people at the end

[17:50] I'm gonna kill you at the end. He's he snaps cuz there's almost so much a donkey can take

[17:55] My name is Doug Dugan and I'm here to talk about my podcast in the middle of the one you're listening to it's called Valley Heat

[18:00] and it's about my neighborhood the Burbank Rancho Equestrian District the center of the world when it comes to foosball frisbee golf and high speed freeway roller

[18:08] Skating and there's been a Jaguar parked outside on my curb for 10 months. I have no idea who owns it

[18:13] I have a feeling it's related to the drug drop that was happening in my garbage can and I'm not sure if it's related to

[18:17] The drug that was happening in my garbage can and I'm not sure if it's related to the drug that was happening in my garbage can

[18:22] It's related to the drug drop that was happening in my garbage can a little over a year ago

[18:25] And if this has been a boring commercial imagine 45 minutes of it. Okay Valley Heat

[18:30] It's on every month on maximumfund.org or wherever you get podcasts check it out, but honestly skip it

[18:45] Hello sleepyheads

[18:47] Sleeping with celebrities is your podcast pillow pal

[18:51] We talked remarkable people about unremarkable topics all to help you slow down your brain and drift off to sleep

[18:59] For instance, we have the remarkable Neil Gaiman. I'd always had a vague

[19:05] interest in life culture food preparation

[19:09] Sleeping with celebrities hosted by me John Moe on maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcasts

[19:18] night-night

[19:19] Before we get into the ads. I just like to say that if you go over to flop house podcast comm slash events

[19:26] You're gonna see some exciting new live shows over there first

[19:31] Chronologically on Sunday March 31st, that's Easter Sunday at the bell house in Brooklyn, New York

[19:39] We're gonna be doing a show doors at 7 for a 7 30 p.m. Show. So please come out to that Brooklyn show

[19:46] I know we've been doing a lot of coastal shows Midwest my home my home region where I come from

[19:52] I promise we are going to get to you. We're working on it, but we are doing our first our own bookings for the first

[20:00] time in Flophouse history, and it is complex, but we hope to have you next on our tour list.

[20:07] But also, we are going to the UK for the first time. That's right. The Flophouse is hopping

[20:13] across the pond for two shows in Oxford, England on May the 24th at Oxford Town Hall as part of the

[20:22] brand new Oxford Podcast Festival. There will be an early show and a late show, one at 7 p.m. and

[20:29] one at 9 p.m., and we're going to be discussing two different movies, one of the early, one of

[20:36] the late. Right now, the plan is to talk about The Avengers, not the Marvel movie, the one from

[20:42] 1998 starring Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman. That is an adaptation of the beloved 60s British spy

[20:49] series of the same name. And also, we will be talking about Spice World, the Spice Girls movie.

[20:54] You don't need any more explanation. It's the Spice Girls. You know that movie. Which movie

[20:59] goes with which time is still undecided, but you're going to get a great show with either one.

[21:04] So again, please go over to flophousepodcast.com slash events for all the information and ticket

[21:11] links for those shows in Brooklyn, New York on March the 31st and Oxford, England on May 24th.

[21:19] And you may notice that I'm talking for a long time without interruption. That's because I'm

[21:24] doing these ads on my own. We recorded a little early because Stuart was flying off to Australia.

[21:32] And so I said, I will drop in these ads once I get the ad copies. So you get to hear a lot of

[21:37] my voice. Speaking of my voice, you know, when people think of me, they think of microdosing.

[21:43] You've probably heard of microdosing. If not, just know that all sorts of people are microdosing to

[21:49] feel healthier and perform better. And microdose gummies deliver perfect entry-level doses of THC

[21:56] that help you feel just the right amount of good. And I like feeling just the right amount of good.

[22:03] I'll tell you, I don't know. I've said it before. I feel like sometimes I'm a person prone to a lot

[22:12] of stress and feeling overwhelmed. And these microdose gummies have really helped with a lot

[22:20] of that. And maybe they will help you. So you can get 30% off your first order plus free shipping

[22:26] today at microdose.com. Promo code FLOP is available nationwide. That's microdose.com.

[22:34] Promo code FLOP for 30% off and free shipping microdose.com promo code FLOP. Also, we're

[22:45] sponsored in part by Babbel. One in five Americans have learn a new language on their bucket list.

[22:52] If that's you, make 2024. You finally check it off the list with Babbel. And if it's on your bucket

[22:57] list, check it off early because if you go through all the trouble of learning a new language, then

[23:01] you die. Who are you going to talk to? Maybe in heaven. I don't know. It seems like up there,

[23:06] there's got to be some sort of universal translator. Anyway, I'm getting off the points.

[23:11] The point is Babbel's quick 10-minute lessons are designed by over 150 language experts

[23:18] to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. Babbel's tips and tools

[23:24] are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations, and delivered with conversation-based

[23:30] teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world. Babbel has over 10

[23:34] million subscriptions sold. Plus, all of Babbel's 14 language courses are backed by their 20-day

[23:42] money-back guarantee. And if you're anything like me, maybe you took languages in high school and

[23:50] college. Maybe you took them for several years and got to a point of middling competency and

[23:58] would like to bring that competency back and build on it. Babbel is a great way to do it.

[24:05] Here's a special limited-time deal for our listeners. Right now, get 55% off your Babbel

[24:11] subscription, but only for our listeners. Hoard it for Flophouse listeners at babbel.com

[24:18] slash flop, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash flop. Rules and restrictions may apply. And we also

[24:28] have, yes, a lot of my voice. We also have a jumbotron, j-j-j-jumbotron.

[24:35] Hello, fellow flop fans. Do you enjoy listening to absurd role-playing-based comedy and complex

[24:42] webs of stupid jokes that build and recur across episodes? I do, too. That's why I

[24:48] love the Flophouse. But might I also offer for your listening pleasure Legend Lark?

[24:54] What is Legend Lark, you ask? Uh-oh. It's an actual-play tabletop role-playing podcast,

[25:00] my friend. Listen to the show that no one is calling the taking of Pelham123 a podcast.

[25:06] Find us on your podcaster at legendlark.com. And there's a call to action that's specific for you,

[25:14] the Flophouse fans, or discerning fans of the Flophouse classic Bratz. I recommend starting

[25:21] with the short H-Rose Camp Arc. Yes, H-Rose. It looks like horse, except for the O and the R have

[25:31] been transposed. Anyhoo, back to the show. Here's another thing that's in the public domain now,

[25:41] the play of Peter Pan. Okay. Yeah, certainly what the world needs is more adaptations of Peter Pan.

[25:49] All right, so you're doing it right, Dan, by not doing it. You're right. Sometimes the only

[25:52] way to win a game is not to play, as we learn from war games. Yeah. I mean, I have to say this

[25:59] is a story that I have no affinity for. I find it weird and creepy. Yeah, you said you like it less

[26:06] when they removed all the racist songs from the cartoons. That stuff's not in the public domain.

[26:13] Dan, so it's interesting, Dan, that the grown man who has no children himself and spends a lot

[26:18] of time watching cartoons doesn't have an affinity for Peter Pan. It's interesting.

[26:23] And the guy who might remind you that you are chased by a pirate all the time.

[26:27] Ali, we hate the flaws we see in ourselves. That's true. But also, like, so many, you know,

[26:34] like, I don't want to grow up. Filmmakers have made their version of Peter Pan over the years,

[26:40] and they're almost all bad. Like, there's a couple of good ones hidden in there. But I,

[26:47] you know, or ones that have good parts and then not so great. That's fair. That's fair. It's kind

[26:53] of burned over material. It's been done. So how about this? But what about what about

[26:57] Bangarang, Dan? What about Bangarang? What about Rufio and those guys? Those are not in the public

[27:03] domain. I think you'll find they're not in the original text of Peter Pan. This is a generational

[27:08] fight that I think I've just given up on. Like, you know what? People a little younger than me,

[27:14] go out, go ahead and love your hook if you want to. What I found is that Hook is to me as Space

[27:19] Jam is to the generation after mine, where it's like, well, this is the thing I have a nostalgic

[27:24] sentimentality for that. Also, I'll say it's good, even though objectively it's got issues.

[27:28] You know, it's not that good. So here's so here's a property that people are waiting to get into

[27:33] public domain for a long time so they can finally get their hands on it. That's Memoirs of a Fox

[27:37] Hunting Man by Siegfried Sassoon. And so, Dan, how would you handle would you handle this one?

[27:44] Now, is Max Mouse in this or is it just like, it's funny that you're pretending that you don't

[27:51] know that this is a series of episodes in the youth of George Sherston, a from from youth to

[28:00] slightly older maturity, dealing with, you know, fixtures of village, wealthy village life. You

[28:04] know that there's a cricket match, there's a fox hunting thing, that kind of stuff.

[28:08] Well, certainly in the in the in the years before World War One, it's the it's the innocence of the

[28:13] pre-World War One world. You didn't have to add that part. I knew exactly what you're talking

[28:17] about. Yeah, we all first knew this, but I think I want to remind you that Siegfried Sassoon and

[28:22] also the poet of World War One is not is not Vidal Sassoon, the hairstylist. OK, well, that's

[28:29] going to amend my and my response here. Yes, because I've tried to figure out Vidal Sassoon's

[28:34] thoughts on World War One. I cannot find them when I do my research. So with this fox hunting,

[28:40] man, I think for a modern film, the first thing that we want to do is minimize the fox hunting.

[28:45] OK, interesting. It is both a cruel relic and a symbol of the upper class that probably wouldn't

[28:53] play as well. So we're going to take the fox hunting out or the other things that we could

[28:58] focus on. Cricket in a village. Cricket. Yeah, sure. I mean, the world's most exciting

[29:04] cricket fan is that's a movie in and of itself. Like that's a lot of information.

[29:09] That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Cricket seems to me to be like this, the sports equivalent

[29:16] of like a tabletop game. Yeah. With a lot of it's Calvin Ball.

[29:21] A lot of rules. A lot of rules. A lot of rules. Like I feel like someone's explaining like math

[29:26] to me somehow. It sounds like we would adapt it mainly as kind of a humorous guide to cricket to

[29:30] the to the American. All right. Is Goofy in the public domain? We can get him to do one of those.

[29:36] Unfortunately, it's not. But yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Fox hunting. I mean, I feel like you can

[29:42] make it fun like that video game Duck Hunt, where you have like a dog who laughs at you and you miss

[29:47] know that was a very different the Fox kills the other man. Oh, no. Turn the tables on them.

[29:55] Oh, he dragged himself out from under that coffee table. Chainsaw.

[30:00] All right, well, that was a tough one, that was a tough one.

[30:02] But now we'll get to one, again, this is another property people have been really hoping would

[30:05] get into the public domain for a long time now.

[30:07] This is Coming of Age in Samoa by Margaret Mead.

[30:10] This is a nonfiction book, so I've titled it Psychological Study of Primitive Youth

[30:13] for Western Civilization, about kind of the growth and sexual development of adolescent

[30:19] girls in Samoa.

[30:20] Now I'm sure there are many questions now about the underlying science of this book,

[30:25] but Warner Brothers has been trying to make a movie out of it for years.

[30:28] So Dan, how would you handle this one?

[30:29] Okay, Margaret Mead, of course, famous sociologist, I guess you would like her, just like anthropologist,

[30:36] social anthropologist.

[30:39] I mainly know her through the fact that she gets lampooned and has a song in Hair, a musical

[30:46] that I was in.

[30:47] Yeah, I don't know if you remember, back in college, Dan was the lead in the production

[30:51] of Hair.

[30:52] He played the hair.

[30:54] Stuart mentions it more than me.

[30:56] He's the only one who's wiener you don't see.

[30:59] But that's the thing, leave him one more.

[31:02] That's Dan's kind of whole thing.

[31:04] In the playbook it says the one who's wiener, question mark.

[31:06] So it's like at the end of Frankenstein, it says the monster, question mark, because they

[31:10] didn't want people to know it was a person and not a real monster.

[31:14] So that's my main association.

[31:16] So I guess we could adapt that song.

[31:18] I guess that's not in the public domain.

[31:19] No, not in the public domain.

[31:20] Okay, I'm going to...

[31:21] This is what we run into.

[31:22] You're going to get a point deficit for that.

[31:23] You're off the board.

[31:25] And now I'm making it a game.

[31:26] You know what?

[31:27] I wasn't planning on it, but it's a game now.

[31:28] Dan, you have negative...

[31:29] Actually, you're back at zero, because your Eeyore stuff was really good.

[31:33] Okay.

[31:34] And then Stuart...

[31:35] I mean, I think doing like a little Slice of Life kids growing up in Samoa thing, that's

[31:39] a huge hit.

[31:42] That's right up all the streamers' alleys.

[31:44] It targets a YA demographic.

[31:48] You get some young hard bodies, put them under the sun.

[31:52] That's a thumbs up from Dan McCoy.

[31:53] I don't know why you keep trying to paint me this way.

[31:57] I don't care for it.

[31:59] So now the score right now, because I've decided it's a game, is we're tied at one to one,

[32:03] because I forgot Dan did some good work earlier.

[32:05] Thank you.

[32:06] So we're tied at one for one.

[32:07] This is going to be an easy one, though.

[32:08] You guys are going to knock this out of the park.

[32:09] Okay, sure.

[32:10] How are we going to adapt?

[32:11] It's now in the public domain.

[32:12] The book West Running Brook by Robert Frost.

[32:14] This is a book of poems.

[32:16] I'll just read you a little bit.

[32:17] Here's one.

[32:18] This is from the poem, The Freedom of the Moon.

[32:20] I've tried the new moon tilted in the air above a hazy tree and farmhouse cluster, as

[32:24] you might try a jewel in your hair.

[32:26] I've tried it fine with a little breath of luster, alone or in one ornament, combining

[32:30] with one first water star almost as shining.

[32:33] So adapt.

[32:34] I want we've got we've got to make it into a movie.

[32:36] How do we make that the first chapter of the of the Robert Frost?

[32:38] So here's what I so there's this West Running Brook, OK, who wishes that it had the freedom

[32:45] of the moon to travel where it wanted to not go west running, but go east running.

[32:51] It thinks that the moon has freedom because it sees in the air.

[32:53] But then ultimately it realizes the moon only travels one direction as well.

[32:58] And sometimes, you know, we're set on a path in life that may not be the one that we wanted

[33:03] originally, but we have to find meaning and beauty in it.

[33:07] You know what, Dan?

[33:08] The end.

[33:09] I like it.

[33:10] And you know what I like even more?

[33:11] You can shoehorn a pop song into that.

[33:12] Really?

[33:13] Yeah.

[33:14] You know, I like when I think of the way Dallas or someone does like a sad song or

[33:17] like, you know that or Lady Gaga does one of her like more standards type songs, you

[33:21] know, I think.

[33:23] Great job.

[33:24] That's a great job on that, Stuart.

[33:25] I'm going to give you another one from that from that book because Dan just totally ate

[33:27] your lunch on that one.

[33:28] So here's so this is a chance for that.

[33:31] OK, this one, I think, might be more along your lines.

[33:33] This is a this is from Canis Major.

[33:35] It says the great overdog that heavenly beast with a star in one eye gives a leap in the

[33:40] east.

[33:41] Stuart, what are you to do with this overdog?

[33:43] I mean, I'm going to say we're looking at a AMC original series, OK, Yellowstone style

[33:51] drama, Western about a giant dog in the east.

[33:55] OK, well, you know, I mean, it's a Western, but the dog is in the east.

[34:00] Don't there's when you're in the West, you don't eat.

[34:03] Yeah.

[34:04] OK.

[34:05] It's called Overdog Goes West.

[34:06] But it's one of those things where you have where you use the poetry mainly as episode

[34:11] titles and maybe like bookends for episodes.

[34:15] But or like a quote at the beginning later on, not attributed to one of the characters.

[34:21] That doesn't make sense.

[34:22] But who knows?

[34:23] I think that's because people love that shit.

[34:27] You know, I love that TV.

[34:28] I do.

[34:29] They do love that TV.

[34:31] You guys both do a great job.

[34:32] OK, this is one.

[34:34] So this one I'm going to give to Daniels is another poem from West Reading, which is called

[34:38] The Bear.

[34:39] I'm just going to read you a little bit.

[34:40] I'm going to cut down this goes, OK, the bear puts both arms around the tree above

[34:44] her and draws it down as if it were a lover and it's choked cherry's lips to kiss goodbye

[34:48] and lets it snap back upright in the sky and then running down a little bit.

[34:53] Let's see.

[34:54] Here we go.

[34:55] Or if you rest from scientific tread, it is only to sit back and sway his head through

[34:59] 90 odd degrees of arc, it seems between two metaphysical extremes.

[35:02] He sits back on his fundamental, but with lifted snout and eyes, if any, shut.

[35:07] He almost looks religious, but he's not.

[35:09] And back and forth.

[35:10] He sways from cheek to cheek at one extreme, agreeing with one Greek at the other, agreeing

[35:14] with another Greek, which may be thought, but only so to speak.

[35:17] So, Dan, you might you might obviously this is a pervy one that mentions a but I figured

[35:21] this is for you.

[35:22] It's a bear in a tree.

[35:23] Make it work.

[35:24] I was going to say, like, this seems like you targeted this to me because there's a

[35:28] lot of butt content in here.

[35:30] I I'm going to largely steer clear of the butt element of this one and make it more

[35:37] trying. Bruce Willis and me, Jovovich, we figured out it's love, earth, fire, air, water.

[35:45] But it turns out the butt element was but all of the final element was the core, but

[35:52] Dallas, the secret Dallas is spelled with two S at the end, but it's going to be Gary

[36:00] Oldman is like, I should have brought my hair from Dracula.

[36:02] It looks like a butt.

[36:03] Then I would have won whatever the thing is I'm trying to get the hairy butt, man.

[36:06] Yeah, I'm hairy, but then I'm a parody of Gary Oldman, but I think I have to explain

[36:14] that because I'm a little far removed from the original.

[36:20] I'm going to turn.

[36:21] Do you have a reservation, sir?

[36:22] Yes, I do.

[36:23] It's under Buttman.

[36:24] B.U.T.

[36:25] No, I understand.

[36:26] You want it to be closer and still somewhat butt related.

[36:30] You could have been Gary Hole, man.

[36:34] But that's a little that's not kind of the I don't know.

[36:37] It sounds more like I'm the whole man complete in and of myself, and I'm here on a date.

[36:41] So clearly I'm looking for my other half anyway, as she arrived, she knows the reservation

[36:46] is under Buttman.

[36:47] Oh, actually, I'm so sorry, sir.

[36:51] We gave your reservation away to the Howard Stern character, but Fartman, we made a mistake.

[36:56] We misread it.

[36:57] Yeah, sorry.

[36:58] I'm sorry.

[36:59] I thought Bartman was here earlier and we misunderstood.

[37:04] Let me see you say that.

[37:05] Oh, it's Gutman from the Maltese Falcon.

[37:07] I'm so sorry, sir.

[37:08] He was he told us to do his titular dance.

[37:13] We did the Bartman and then we had to eat his shorts and unpleasant experience anyway.

[37:20] And with an eye caramba, he raced out of the place.

[37:24] Do you guys remember the Bart symbol?

[37:26] You guys remember when the Simpsons first started, they wanted to merchandise the hell

[37:29] out of it.

[37:30] And they only had a really a season or less of a show.

[37:32] So like Bart always says eye caramba.

[37:35] And he always says eat my shorts, he always says, he always will say that.

[37:39] And while we were planning on having a cow, he begged us not to.

[37:45] Only the men, though.

[37:46] So Dan, this poem, it's a bear in a tree and it's a metaphor for something in life.

[37:52] We're going to take it in sort of a Lars and the Real Girl direction where this bear bears

[37:56] in the real but romance with this tree and all the other bears in the community sort

[38:01] of indulge it.

[38:02] But, you know, hope hope that the bear will move on to another bear at some point.

[38:07] Yeah.

[38:08] Sort of a, you know, quirky indie woodland comedy.

[38:12] Yeah, that sounds great.

[38:15] Not twisted at all.

[38:16] I like it.

[38:17] Not at all.

[38:18] Twisted.

[38:19] OK, so here's the so guys, it's finally in the in the public domain.

[38:23] That's right.

[38:24] Mack the Knife, the song.

[38:27] But what's not in the public domain is not Mack Tonight.

[38:30] I wanted to make this very clear.

[38:32] So you got to make something with the character of Mack the Knife, but he cannot have a giant

[38:36] moon for his head.

[38:37] He can't play piano, can't wear sunglasses.

[38:38] Maybe he can wear sunglasses.

[38:39] He doesn't work for McDonald's.

[38:41] I don't watch Seth Meyers, but I've seen enough clips that I'm like, maybe I should.

[38:45] I'd seen one.

[38:47] Apparently, he talked about Mack Tonight a lot and like people sent in a bunch of Mack

[38:52] Tonight memorabilia to him that he was very distressed by.

[38:55] It's like, why did I don't?

[38:57] Yeah, I find very funny about fans of things with like you mentioned this thing.

[39:01] You must love it.

[39:02] Yeah, yeah.

[39:03] It's like when your aunt finds out you like turtles, every time she sees you, she brings

[39:09] you like a little little turtle figurine and you're like, now I have like an entire wall

[39:13] of turtle figurines.

[39:14] And the thing is, I still love turtles.

[39:16] Now, if you're listening, you can send me the Mack Tonight stuff.

[39:21] I'll keep it.

[39:22] Dan would love it.

[39:23] Yeah.

[39:24] Because imagine if instead of turtles, it's Mack Tonight.

[39:25] And instead, you have millions of ants who watch you every day on television.

[39:29] So Dan, so what are you going to do with Mack the Knife?

[39:32] He's a guy with a knife.

[39:33] His name's McHeath, but you can just call him Mack if you want.

[39:36] Yes.

[39:37] What do we know about this guy?

[39:39] Something named McHeath here.

[39:42] He doesn't have a knife.

[39:43] He is the knife.

[39:44] Right.

[39:45] Yeah.

[39:46] But I like where you're taking this, that he is not a guy with a knife, but is a knife.

[39:49] Like he's a half man, half knife, or he's the knife that someone else uses.

[39:53] Maybe it's a Pixar type thing about knives.

[39:54] I'm a contestant now.

[39:55] Now I'm in the game and I'm doing, I'm doing stuff.

[39:57] Oh, wow.

[39:58] Yeah.

[39:59] Yeah.

[40:00] like a razor boy in Shadowrun. He's some kind of street samurai who's, uh, you know, trying

[40:04] to fill up his, uh, his cred stick with new yen from the mega cores. But, uh, the thing

[40:10] is he's operating outside of the law. You know, he's sinless. He doesn't have, he doesn't

[40:14] have an identification number. This is not that different from the plot of three, three

[40:16] penny opera, to be honest. Or is it like, you know, like 90 slang about like macking

[40:22] on someone? Like it's about a knife. Oh yeah. That'd be pretty intense. That's pretty twisted.

[40:28] Dirty Danny D. Dirty Danny D. You know, it just comes natural to me. I want to go with

[40:33] mine where it's, it's, it's about, uh, he's a knife, but he wants to be a fork or something

[40:36] like that. He's got to learn how it's good to be a knife. Yeah. Yeah. And Randy Newman

[40:40] is like, cause you got knives. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, when you made a certain way

[40:46] at the factory, that's what you got to be. That sounds more like spring scene, but no

[40:52] cut. Okay. So we're running, we're running late, running long. So let's, we're just going

[40:57] to go to, again, to everyone's tell the affiliates. Yeah. We're going to be going over. I'm going

[41:02] to have to push back the news. Um, and TV Lewis, uh, so who is host the local news now?

[41:09] I'm Huey Lewis. I'm Huey Lewis and here's the news. I'm Huey Lewis. I absorbed the news

[41:16] into me. I expanded like Tetsuo at the end of Akira and absorbed the rest of the news

[41:22] into me. So now Huey Lewis of the new flesh. So guys, here's that character we've all been

[41:29] excited about. He's in the public domain. I mentioned him before. I'm going to mention

[41:33] him again. That's right. Mr. Blessworthy on Rampole Island. How are you going to make,

[41:37] how are you going to make a franchise out of this guy? Wait on Ramhole. No Ram, Rampole

[41:42] Island. Dan, get your mind out of the gutter. Dirty. That's what I thought. I heard Ram.

[41:47] You hear a Mr. Blessworthy, you know, there's only one actor who can bring that guy to life

[41:50] and that's Tom Hanks. So slap that dude in that role. Okay. Blessworthy Island. That

[41:55] sounds awesome. Uh, maybe it's a, like a tropical paradise. You got Tom Hanks just hanging out

[42:01] wearing, you know, like, uh, resort wear, uh, you know, making friends. Like in Castaway

[42:07] when he's just wearing resort wear the whole time. Yeah. And maybe, maybe some, uh, like

[42:12] maybe some local like drug smugglers get involved and he has to like, uh, you know, like trick

[42:17] him and, uh, get a save, uh, Ramhole Island. Yeah, it makes sense. Well, now, now my mishearing.

[42:24] Now I feel like my way of, of using this has to be to make a million dollars, of course,

[42:29] off of the porn parody. Everyone's been waiting for Mr. Buttsworthy on Ramhole Island. I'm

[42:34] glad you, you avoided butts so much in that previous Robert Frost one, but now you're

[42:38] all over it. Okay. So come on home. So how are you doing a porn parody of what Stewart

[42:42] just came up with? Oh, I wasn't. Tom Hanks can't be in the porn parody. Disney owns his

[42:49] image as Geppetto. So they could, I guess if they, if they use that, they could do it.

[42:54] Yeah. Disney is like, uh, in order to make Disney plus profitable, we will have to start

[42:58] showing porn on it. So we will be producing it with our characters. They don't have to

[43:02] be in the public domain anymore to have sex with each other. We're doing that now. We've

[43:05] hired as our new head of content, Dirty D. We've heard what you want. Dirty D. Please

[43:11] tell us what our characters are going to be doing right now on Disney plus XX. You know,

[43:17] just doing it, man. All the characters, all your favorite characters. You ever wonder

[43:21] if they do it? Well, they do do it. They do it on Disney X. And who's some of these characters

[43:26] like the hit characters? I don't know, man. Daisy. Daisy's like a girl duck. And she,

[43:32] you know, Daisy and the fucking dad from inside out. Yeah. They're just crushing it. I don't

[43:36] even like doing this anymore. The rescuers, you better believe they're going down under.

[43:43] Finally all the characters from treasure planet are going to be doing it. All your favorite

[43:46] Disney characters. I mean, yeah. I feel like Dan's lived in that world so long, Elliot,

[43:50] that us bring it up. We're like, expect him to be excited, but he's like so jaded. It's

[43:55] not even a joke to him anymore. It's not a joke. People are horny for those Robin Hood

[43:58] boxes. Now's your chance. Yeah, I guess. Or to see him. To what? To have sex with them?

[44:05] Yeah. That's not how it works. Well, that's the premium. Yeah. Yeah. You get a little

[44:10] VR. I like Disney plus VR. I see. OK. Disney plus plus. Well, I guess we figured out those

[44:16] pluses on their side. Their exes. Oh, I see. That's that's that's that's his Ted talk about

[44:22] it. He goes, let's take these pluses and turn them on their side. Disney. That's the

[44:28] power of imagination. So, guys, I guess that's the power of imagination. Oh, is Huey Newis.

[44:37] Huey Newis. Anyway. So, guys, I wanted this episode to be us showing that you can do other

[44:44] things with public domain characters besides make them have sex with each other. And I

[44:46] failed. It's the only thing I can do is every road takes us back there. It's almost as if

[44:54] original human imagination. It's almost as if original stories don't need to be reimagined

[45:00] or recreated or even adapted. And we should focus on creating new things, enriching that

[45:05] cultural clay with new ideas that can then spur new inspirations rather than just taking

[45:11] everybody's old stuff and reusing it again. Or or yes, we have no bananas. Alex, hit it.

[45:17] All right, everybody. Yes, we have no bananas. It's going to play us out because let's stick

[45:23] with the old stuff. I guess the only thing you do is have characters kill or do each other.

[45:27] And there's no new ideas under the sun. It's impossible. So let's use that public domain

[45:31] stuff. This has been a self-defeating flophouse mini. I hope you enjoyed it. If you didn't,

[45:36] please send all your letters to Dirty Dan McCoy, care of Max Fine. I'll eat him.

[45:41] He's so hungry, everybody. He's so twisted. He doesn't know what to do with letters.

[45:48] Normally, people read letters, but I eat them. He's such as he does these things backwards.

[45:55] He's like, I go to sleep in a bathtub and I take a bath in a bed.

[45:58] So thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed this show or even if you didn't,

[46:09] please leave us a five star review on whatever podcast app you use. If you're recommending an

[46:15] episode to listeners, new listeners, maybe not this. Maybe not this one. This one works best

[46:19] if once you have affection for us. Yeah. The Max Fun Drive is coming up next month. Please don't

[46:25] judge us based on this episode and pay accordingly. Please. Thanks to our editor and producer,

[46:30] Alex Smith. He goes by HowlDotty online and does a lot of great stuff. He does a lot of good work

[46:35] for us, like putting Yes, We Have No Bananas, hopefully in the background while I'm talking,

[46:38] or else this is not going to work, Alex. I could be very upset if I listen to this later. Yes,

[46:43] We Have No Bananas is not playing the original version of it. Give him a chance to succeed

[46:47] before you start attacking him for failure. This has been the flophouse. We'll be back

[46:54] next week talking about a movie. For the time being now, though, I am Elliot Kalin. I've been

[46:59] joined by Dan McCoy and Stuart Wellington. Keep making that IP, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Don't stop

[47:07] believing. We have no bananas today. You got a stromboli pie? Yes, I don't think we got

[47:14] stromboli pie. You got a coconut pie? Yes, I don't think we got coconut pie.

[47:24] Maximum fun. A worker-owned network of artists-owned shows supported directly by you.

FH Mini 98 - In the Public Domain

Transcript

Description