FH Mini 104 - Computer Games

[0:00] Hello, everybody out there in podcast land.

[0:07] This is Elliot Kalin of the Flophouse podcast, here to tell you it's time for another Flophouse

[0:12] Mini.

[0:13] You know that on most weeks, and by most I mean half of the weeks, we talk about a bad

[0:17] movie that we've watched, but on the other half of the weeks, sometimes, which is half,

[0:22] we talk about whatever we want, baby, at whatever length we want, baby, and today, that's exactly

[0:29] what we're going to do.

[0:30] I'm hosting today, I'm the master programmer of this program, as you'll see, that fits

[0:36] the theme of what I'm talking about, and I'm joined today by my two associates, and their

[0:40] names are, guys, say your names.

[0:42] I'm Jan McCoy, and I'm just so proud of you for summarizing the mini concept as clunkily

[0:49] as I usually do.

[0:51] I would say 95% as clunkily as you do, and Stuart, what's your name, Stuart?

[0:57] I'm Stuart.

[0:58] I'm Stuart Wellington of the Flophouse podcast.

[1:01] Hi, Stuart.

[1:02] Hi.

[1:03] Now, Dan, before we start recording, you were just ready to unveil the new Flophouse jingle.

[1:09] Would you mind debuting it for the listeners, or should that be at the end of the episode

[1:14] as a little treat?

[1:15] I think that should be at the end, because then Alex can just cut it out and use what

[1:20] I already did, because I can't remember it anymore.

[1:22] Okay, good.

[1:23] So stay tuned through this episode for the new Flophouse jingle.

[1:26] We'll be using it in all of our official promotions, and when we have a Super Bowl ad and things

[1:30] like that.

[1:31] And we've obviously selected it because it has slipped out of Dan's mind as soon as he

[1:35] did it.

[1:36] Yep, that's the-

[1:37] The kind of earworm we brought up.

[1:38] I think I still have it, but-

[1:39] The homo-cuckoo jingle is just instantly forgettable.

[1:40] No, Dan, don't even bother.

[1:41] Dan, you'll never be able to recapture perfection.

[1:42] Okay.

[1:43] So just stay tuned to the end.

[1:44] Don't skip ahead to the end of the episode.

[1:45] Don't do that, and then skip back.

[1:46] Just wait.

[1:47] Wait your turn, because we're going to have some fun before then.

[1:48] We're going to have some fun today, guys.

[1:49] We're going to play some games.

[1:50] And I know how fun that is.

[1:51] We're going to have some fun before then.

[1:52] We're going to have some fun today, guys.

[1:53] We're going to play some games.

[1:54] And I know how much you guys love games.

[1:55] So last week, we covered the movie-

[1:56] I only like wicked games.

[1:57] Oh.

[1:58] Chris Isaac.

[1:59] Really?

[2:00] What about funny games?

[2:01] Nope.

[2:02] It's not wicked.

[2:03] It's not wicked.

[2:04] I'm not into it.

[2:05] It seems to be the opposite of the dossier I assembled on you, Stuart.

[2:06] I guess you're a gamesman.

[2:07] And not a Chris Isaac fan.

[2:08] Yeah.

[2:09] Yeah, well.

[2:10] Yeah.

[2:11] I feel like the Matrix movies are the ultimate computer movie series, because it combines

[2:32] all the different kinds of computer movies.

[2:34] Because the way I see it, and this is my taxonomy, there are four kinds of computer movies.

[2:39] Okay.

[2:40] Okay.

[2:42] Number one, evil computer movies.

[2:44] Number two, computer world movies, where someone gets sucked into a digital world.

[2:50] Number three, computer people movies, where someone is like- someone comes out of a computer,

[2:54] or someone has a computer in their brain, or something like that.

[2:57] Like virtuosity.

[2:58] Yeah, exactly.

[2:59] And number four, movies where people just use a computer for anything.

[3:02] For whatever.

[3:03] You know, just type on a computer.

[3:04] And the Matrix- Stuart says virtuosity to me as if virtuosity

[3:08] wasn't foremost in my brain at all times.

[3:13] So the Matrix has all these different aspects of computer movies, but there are a lot of

[3:16] other computer movies out there that don't try to have it all.

[3:19] That like, do one or the other, or maybe just a couple.

[3:21] So I thought today we would explore each kind of computer movie with a series of games patterned

[3:26] around each kind of movie in an episode I'm calling Computer Games.

[3:33] Computer Games.

[3:36] Wow.

[3:37] Yep.

[3:38] A million dollar idea.

[3:39] Now you guys have a lot of- plenty of experience with computer games, right?

[3:42] What's your history with computer games before we get into these computer games?

[3:45] So specifically we're talking about games for like a computer, not just-

[3:49] Yeah, Dan.

[3:50] What the fuck do you mean computer games means?

[3:51] Well, as opposed to like- You put a chessboard on top of a monitor?

[3:55] No.

[3:56] Does an arcade game count?

[3:57] Does a- No.

[3:58] Not an arcade game.

[3:59] No.

[4:00] No.

[4:01] I mean my- A game on a home computer.

[4:02] Yeah.

[4:03] Yeah.

[4:04] I played a lot of those Sierra games, like King's Quest, and there were a couple of-

[4:06] That's pretty cool.

[4:07] There were a couple of mystery ones with like kind of a Clara Bow style flapper detective

[4:12] that were fun.

[4:13] Sure.

[4:14] And you know, I played that Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis or whatever.

[4:18] Yep.

[4:19] Yep.

[4:20] A lot of great LucasArts games.

[4:21] LucasArts.

[4:22] Yeah.

[4:23] And-

[4:24] Played some Road War 2000 as a kid.

[4:25] Played some Might and Magic.

[4:27] Played some- Let's see what else I did.

[4:30] Played some Fallout and Fallout 2.

[4:33] Played some Doom.

[4:34] Played some Quake.

[4:35] Played some Land Parties playing Quake.

[4:37] Did you guys ever do that?

[4:38] Do a land party and play Quake?

[4:39] No.

[4:40] No.

[4:41] We never had a land party.

[4:42] No.

[4:43] And I also was a big computer gamer for a while.

[4:46] Dark Forces was a big one for me.

[4:48] Oh, hell yeah.

[4:49] Did you see- Did you ever play Part 2 with the filmed little-

[4:51] I did.

[4:52] Like interstitials?

[4:53] Oh, hell yeah.

[4:54] I didn't like once they made him a Jedi.

[4:56] I didn't like that.

[4:57] I liked him just being a grunt.

[4:58] But- Kyle Katarn the grunt?

[5:01] Yeah.

[5:02] You don't like Kyle Katarn the Jedi?

[5:03] I mean, there's a lot of Jedi stuff in Star Wars.

[5:07] Not everyone has to be a Jedi.

[5:08] Although now, in the new Star Wars movies, no one is a Jedi unless you're in the Skywalker

[5:11] bloodline.

[5:12] So I guess maybe it was good that Kyle Katarn was a Jedi.

[5:14] Anyway, but I also played a lot of Command and Conquer.

[5:17] That was very big in my house.

[5:18] And of course, the holy trinity for me of point and click games, Sam & Max, Hit the

[5:24] Road, Grim Fandango, and the Discworld computer game, which is how I got into the Discworld

[5:30] novels by Terry Pratchett, which I love.

[5:33] So we're going to talk about some Discworld novels today and see how well you guys stack

[5:37] up in your knowledge of Terry Pratchett's fantasy world.

[5:40] No, guys, we're not playing games on- We're being intercepted.

[5:43] Yeah, we're not playing games on computers.

[5:45] We're playing games about computers today.

[5:48] So this is an episode called- So that digression was irrelevant.

[5:51] Unnecessary.

[5:52] What we call a filler segment.

[5:55] So computer games.

[5:56] This episode is brought to you by computers, the things that make our lives better in ways

[6:00] that almost make up for how much worse they make our lives on the other side of things.

[6:06] So round one, we're going to be talking about evil computer movies and evil computer movies.

[6:10] A computer turns evil in some way.

[6:12] Maybe it's their programming that gets corrupted.

[6:14] Maybe it's because they're taking their programming too literally.

[6:17] Maybe they're just evil like the devil's inside of- I don't know.

[6:19] The point is they're evil computers and they represent humanity's fears of technology or

[6:23] whatever.

[6:24] And I want to make it clear.

[6:25] I'm talking about computers, not robots and not computers that a human being is using

[6:30] for evil purposes.

[6:31] I'm talking about an evil computer.

[6:34] Those sometimes evil robots work for evil computers, as we may see.

[6:37] And evil computers, for some reason, they never work for evil robots.

[6:40] It's only the other way around.

[6:41] So this is going to be a game about evil computers called New Computer Who This.

[6:49] And I'm going to name a movie and you guys are going to tell me, you're going to take

[6:53] turns telling me, what's the name of the evil computer in that movie?

[6:57] And for an extra point, how do you defeat the evil computer in that movie?

[7:02] So hold on.

[7:03] Let me get a scoring pad right now so I can keep score, you guys.

[7:06] And while I'm doing that, I want you guys to decide who's going to go first.

[7:09] We're going to be alternating these questions.

[7:10] Who's going to go first?

[7:11] You know?

[7:12] Should we rock, paper, scissors?

[7:13] Sure.

[7:14] Let's do a rock, paper, scissors.

[7:15] The classic.

[7:16] One, two, three.

[7:17] Oh.

[7:18] Let's- oh, we shoot.

[7:19] Yeah, I thought it was- see, this is the problem.

[7:20] Okay.

[7:21] Wow, so you both threw rock, huh?

[7:22] Okay.

[7:23] One, two, three.

[7:24] Shoot.

[7:25] Oh.

[7:27] Oh, Dan goes first.

[7:28] Dan wins.

[7:29] Okay.

[7:30] Dan wins.

[7:31] Let me just make a- let me just finish this here, right there.

[7:32] Okay.

[7:33] Make an adjustment.

[7:34] Just make an adjustment.

[7:35] Make all the hard questions go first.

[7:36] Harder.

[7:37] Yeah.

[7:38] No, no, Dan, we're going to start out easy and maybe get a little harder as this round

[7:39] goes on.

[7:40] Okay.

[7:41] So let's see.

[7:42] So we're going to start with the- I don't know if you've ever heard of this movie, Dan,

[7:43] but it's got an evil computer in it.

[7:44] What is the name of the evil computer in 2001, A Space Odyssey?

[7:45] That computer would be named Hal.

[7:46] Okay.

[7:47] For an extra point, how do you defeat the evil computer in that movie?

[7:48] So hold on.

[7:50] Wow.

[7:51] It's so hard to tell.

[7:54] I- it's so hard to tell.

[7:55] I- it's so hard to tell.

[7:56] I have no idea what the problem is here.

[7:57] What is the name of the evil computer in 2004, 2001, A Space Odyssey?

[7:58] That computer would be named Hal.

[7:59] Okay.

[8:00] For an extra point, what does Hal stand for?

[8:01] Oh, boy.

[8:02] I can tell you that Hal was born in Urbana.

[8:07] Not the information I was looking for.

[8:08] Because I'm from Illinois, Central Illinois, so we take-

[8:10] He's bamping right now.

[8:11] We claim any celebrities we can, even evil fictional computers, but yeah, I don't know.

[8:17] I don't know.

[8:19] Stuart does.

[8:20] Stuart does.

[8:21] Stuart does.

[8:22] Stuart does.

[8:23] Stuart, you want to steal that moment?

[8:24] Highly advanced life form.

[8:25] No, it's not a life form, but a computer, so that's a good guess.

[8:29] That's a good guess.

[8:30] I mean, it's half of-

[8:31] Hey, Arnold lover.

[8:32] You know what, Dan?

[8:33] I want to give you half a point for that.

[8:34] I'm not going to.

[8:35] I would love it if that was part of his backstory, that he just loves Hey Arnold.

[8:43] You know, Dave, this reminds me of an episode of Hey Arnold, I Know Hal.

[8:47] Tell me about the Hey Arnold episode, Hal.

[8:50] Dave, your actions are giving me real Hey Arnold vibes right now.

[8:55] Slowly singing the theme as he powers down.

[8:58] Yeah, they wanted to see a comet through a telescope and so they-

[9:06] Okay, so Dan, so nobody got that point.

[9:09] It's basically heuristic algorithmic, you know?

[9:12] Okay.

[9:13] Of course.

[9:14] Dan, for that extra point, how do you defeat Hal?

[9:18] Well, you got to go down into the server room and slowly remove the little disks from the

[9:29] slots.

[9:30] It's so wrong in the details, but I'll give it to you because they're not really disks.

[9:35] They're like little cassettes, but you go into his memory banks, you rip his brain out.

[9:40] You gave me what I needed.

[9:41] So that's two points for Dan.

[9:42] Stuart, you're up next.

[9:43] Can you give me the name of the computer in the movie War Games?

[9:47] Goddamnit.

[9:56] Matthew Broderick.

[9:57] I would say that there's-

[10:00] two plausible answers here.

[10:02] So Dan, are you going to try to steal this one?

[10:05] Yeah, well, you could either go by Whopper, which is, of course, that's not an acronym

[10:14] because it doesn't actually spell anything, but whatever, initials.

[10:16] Spells Whopper.

[10:17] Well, but it doesn't spell it correctly, it doesn't spell Whopper like a, and of course

[10:23] Joshua.

[10:24] Dan, I'm going to give you one and a half points for getting both of those right.

[10:28] Thank you.

[10:29] Good job.

[10:30] Good job.

[10:31] Stu, but you can still win something.

[10:32] How do you defeat?

[10:33] And of course, Whopper.

[10:34] Dan, tell me what Whopper stands for.

[10:35] I'm sure you know it.

[10:37] For that other half a point.

[10:39] World organization, please.

[10:43] Right now.

[10:44] I mean, what's great about it is that it's not a, it's not actually a meaningful phrase

[10:47] in any way.

[10:48] Stuart, you want this half a point?

[10:49] What does Whopper stand for?

[10:52] World or pessimistic reasons to exist.

[10:59] I love that you added some extra letters.

[11:01] It was Whopperty, though, but no, that's incorrect, but Stuart, you can still get a point.

[11:06] How do you defeat Whopper slash Joshua?

[11:08] How do you do it?

[11:09] What?

[11:10] You just don't play him or something?

[11:15] I mean, that's a lesson that's learned, kind of.

[11:18] But how do you, that's not how you defeat, that's how you win.

[11:20] That's how you win with like word games and crap, right?

[11:24] Dan, you've got to swoop in and take this one.

[11:27] You make him play tic-tac-toe against himself.

[11:29] So he learns that it's a funny sort of game.

[11:32] The only way to win is not to play.

[11:34] You got it.

[11:35] You make him play tic-tac-toe.

[11:36] Which is true about nuclear wars, it is about tic-tac-toe.

[11:38] Yep.

[11:39] The only way, although you can win tic-tac-toe if you play with a child because they don't

[11:43] kind of forget how to play it halfway through.

[11:46] Nuclear war, same way.

[11:47] You can win nuclear war if it's a child that's operating the other nukes.

[11:49] They might send them in the wrong place or something.

[11:51] So Dan, it's back to you.

[11:53] You are dominating this round.

[11:54] Dan's doing pretty good.

[11:55] Yeah, don't worry.

[11:56] The other rounds are very different.

[11:57] Dan, this movie...

[11:58] It's okay.

[11:59] I can lose this game.

[12:00] Okay.

[12:01] What's that?

[12:02] No.

[12:03] I didn't base my entire personality around it.

[12:04] Like it's...

[12:05] Yeah, yeah.

[12:06] It's knowing your good side.

[12:07] It would hurt me more.

[12:08] Yeah, the computer game Dan.

[12:09] Dan, the computer movie man, that's what they call him.

[12:10] Dan, the movie is Eagle Eye.

[12:12] What's the name of the evil computer?

[12:13] Oh, shit.

[12:14] Don't say Eagle Eye because that's not the name of the computer.

[12:17] No, I know.

[12:19] It's like...

[12:20] I can't remember.

[12:21] I watched it one time a long time ago when Eagle Eye was new to cable and the world seemed

[12:27] young and beautiful.

[12:29] So Stuart, you got to tell me, what's this Eagle Eye computer called?

[12:32] Optimus Prime.

[12:33] Nope.

[12:34] Wrong.

[12:35] The computer's name is...

[12:36] It's from Shia LaBeouf.

[12:37] The computer's name is ARIA.

[12:38] A-R-I-I-A.

[12:39] Dan, what does it stand for?

[12:44] Always really interesting.

[12:47] I love that really is showing up.

[12:48] Always.

[12:49] Always.

[12:50] Okay, so not the right letters, but great.

[12:53] Stu, you want to steal this?

[12:55] What does ARIA stand for?

[12:56] Wait, are you spelling it?

[12:57] A-R-I-I-A.

[12:58] Okay.

[12:59] Automated Really Intense Intelligent Assistant.

[13:00] I'm going to...

[13:01] Okay, so you're so much closer.

[13:02] I'm going to give you guys a hint if we ever come in the future.

[13:03] Really is never going to be in any of these names.

[13:04] The word really never shows up.

[13:05] You're pretty close, Stuart, though.

[13:06] It's Automated Really Intense Intelligent Assistant.

[13:07] I'm going to...

[13:08] Okay, so you're so much closer.

[13:09] I'm going to give you guys a hint if we ever come in the future.

[13:10] Really is never going to be in any of these names.

[13:17] Autonomous Reconnaissance Intelligence Integration Analyst.

[13:20] I'm going to pass that.

[13:21] Okay.

[13:22] So you're much closer.

[13:23] Yeah, I was pretty close, yeah.

[13:24] So because I feel pity for you right now, I'm going to give you a half point for that

[13:26] one.

[13:27] Yeah.

[13:28] Dan, how do you defeat Eagle Eye?

[13:29] How do you do it?

[13:30] Oh, geez.

[13:31] Or how do you defeat ARIA as seen in the movie Eagle Eye?

[13:34] I like...

[13:36] You break in somewhere and you blow something up.

[13:39] What do you do?

[13:40] Pretty close, Stuart.

[13:41] Can you be more specific?

[13:42] Do you wear like reflective clothing so it burns out Eagle Eye's eyeballs?

[13:47] No, that would be great.

[13:48] With like photon receptors or whatever?

[13:50] No, that would be...

[13:51] No, you go into its central orb.

[13:53] You break into its central orb and you hit it with a crowbar.

[13:56] And then...

[13:57] But then you also hold congressional hearings on whether to build a new evil computer.

[14:01] And hopefully you don't.

[14:02] So that's...

[14:03] Okay, Stuart, it's up to you.

[14:04] It's not...

[14:05] You're next.

[14:06] Okay.

[14:07] Okay.

[14:08] The movie is WALL-E.

[14:09] What's the name of the evil computer in WALL-E?

[14:11] Uh...

[14:13] His name's like WALL-E, right?

[14:14] No, that's the good guy robot.

[14:15] That is an interesting read of the movie WALL-E is that WALL-E is the villain because he causes

[14:21] humanity to return to this blasted wasteland that it left.

[14:24] WALL-E is a very nice robot.

[14:26] Because of WALL-E, humanity leaves the paradise of never having to work and just sipping on

[14:30] Slurpees all day and has to go farm for its future.

[14:33] Thanks, WALL-E.

[14:34] Sweet robot.

[14:35] Okay, so, Dean, you want to steal this shit?

[14:37] You want to steal this?

[14:38] What's WALL-E?

[14:39] What's the evil computer in WALL-E?

[14:40] I think that Pixar...

[14:42] That's probably my favorite Pixar movie, but I don't remember.

[14:45] And yet you don't remember the name of the main antagonist.

[14:46] I know.

[14:47] It's nuts.

[14:48] Poison Mother or something?

[14:49] No.

[14:50] You're thinking of the movie Alien.

[14:51] Because Sigourney Weaver is the voice, right?

[14:53] Yes.

[14:54] Yeah, yeah.

[14:55] She's the voice of the...

[14:56] Well, she's not the voice of the evil computer.

[14:57] She's the voice of the information aspect of the computer.

[14:59] I see.

[15:00] Yeah.

[15:01] So, it is, of course, the autopilot who is called Otto.

[15:03] That's his name, Otto.

[15:04] Right.

[15:05] Stuart, how do you defeat Otto in WALL-E?

[15:08] Do you, like, climb in there and bash his brains in with a crowbar?

[15:12] Nope.

[15:13] That's how you defeat Arya from the movie Eagle Eye, so I understand why that's in your

[15:16] mind.

[15:17] Dan, how do you defeat Otto?

[15:19] Is it through the power of love between WALL-E and Eva?

[15:23] No.

[15:24] Wait, can I change my answer to power of love?

[15:26] You can.

[15:27] It's still wrong, but you can go back and change it to that.

[15:30] You just have to have the plant scanned?

[15:34] Is that all that happens?

[15:35] You're right, Dan.

[15:36] You just plant in the plant hole, and that's how you defeat Otto.

[15:39] I mean, I shouldn't give you a point because you gave a wrong answer before.

[15:41] No, no, you don't have to.

[15:42] I missed the buzzer.

[15:43] Yeah, you did.

[15:45] You missed it so hard.

[15:46] So now, Dan, it's your turn.

[15:49] We went past WALL-E.

[15:50] Scores are pretty close, right?

[15:51] Yeah.

[15:52] What?

[15:53] Scores are pretty close, right?

[15:54] No, you can fill me in later.

[15:55] Don't worry.

[15:56] They're pretty close.

[15:57] They're really close.

[15:58] Dan's, I mean, pulling ahead, but there's going to be more chances to get more points.

[15:59] We went from WALL-E. Let's go to another classic children's film, AlphaVille, directed by Jean-Luc

[16:03] Godard.

[16:04] What is the name of the computer in AlphaVille?

[16:08] Who's this for?

[16:09] Sorry.

[16:10] This is for you, Daniel.

[16:11] Oh, me?

[16:12] I have to admit, I have not.

[16:14] This is a Godard movie that I've not seen at all.

[16:15] I have no idea what the- Okay.

[16:17] And you have no knowledge about any movie you've never seen.

[16:21] So what does it help if I give you the full title, AlphaVille, A Strange Adventure of

[16:25] Lemmy Caution?

[16:26] Lemming Caution?

[16:27] Lemmy Caution.

[16:28] That's the main character that Eddie Constantine plays.

[16:32] So Stuart, you can steal this one.

[16:33] What's the name of the computer in AlphaVille?

[16:35] Is it Megatron?

[16:36] No, I'm sorry.

[16:37] It is Alpha60.

[16:38] Alpha60.

[16:39] Oh, yeah.

[16:40] Dan, how do you defeat Alpha60?

[16:43] Think about what's the most French movie way, French art movie way of defeating a computer?

[16:48] Blow cigarette smoke into it?

[16:49] I was going to say the same shit.

[16:50] That's a good guess.

[16:51] No, it's not.

[16:52] Stuff a fucking baguette in a fucking port.

[16:53] Stuart, what's your other guess?

[16:54] After cigarettes and baguettes.

[16:55] Spill wine all over it, dude.

[16:56] That would be great.

[16:57] No, you tell it a poetry riddle.

[16:58] That's how you defeat Alpha60.

[17:00] No, you tell it a poetry riddle.

[17:02] That's how you defeat it.

[17:03] Yeah.

[17:04] Of course.

[17:05] Yeah, like a French Captain Kirk.

[17:06] Okay, Stuart, it's your turn.

[17:07] All poetry is kind of a riddle.

[17:08] Okay.

[17:09] It's your turn.

[17:10] I feel optimistic here.

[17:11] Yeah.

[17:12] We're talking about another French art movie.

[17:13] Stuart, what's the name of the evil computer in Terminator?

[17:18] I got this one.

[17:19] Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[17:20] Okay, I think you're misunderstanding the rules of the game to mention another French

[17:27] movie that doesn't have a computer in it.

[17:29] Is that your final answer?

[17:30] Arnold Schwarzenegger?

[17:31] It's Skynet.

[17:32] I know this one.

[17:33] It's Skynet, of course.

[17:34] You know this one.

[17:35] And how do you defeat Skynet?

[17:36] You go back in time and then you, oh man, so wait a minute.

[17:43] You stop the Terminators from killing John Connor and you also try not to leave Terminator

[17:50] parts around for Dyson to check out, like reverse engineer a line of Terminators.

[17:58] I mean, and arguably, if you count the sequels, there is really no way to defeat Skynet.

[18:04] It just kind of gets delayed or renamed.

[18:08] I'll accept keeping Terminator parts out.

[18:10] I mean, what they do is they blow it up with a missile eventually.

[18:13] But I'll give you, I'll give you, you know, Stuart, I'm giving you half a point for the

[18:16] Terminator stuff.

[18:17] When do they blow it up with a missile?

[18:19] I forget.

[18:20] One of the movies.

[18:21] I'm just going to shoot it.

[18:22] There's always a missile.

[18:24] Is it like you got to shoot the missile in the like highlighted area on the mech body

[18:28] or else?

[18:29] Probably.

[18:30] I don't remember.

[18:31] So Dan, this is a flop house movie now that I'm going to mention now.

[18:34] The movie Stealth.

[18:35] What is the name of the computer?

[18:38] Is it named Stealth?

[18:40] It is not named Stealth.

[18:42] I hate to break it to you.

[18:44] Stuart, do you want to steal?

[18:45] What is the name of this computer?

[18:46] The name Jessica Alba?

[18:47] Wait, she's not even in that.

[18:48] No, she's not even in that.

[18:49] Jessica Beale was in it.

[18:50] No, she's not even in Jessica Beale.

[18:51] Different Jessica.

[18:52] It's not Stealth.

[18:53] It's not Stealth.

[18:54] Is it Rogue?

[18:55] Stuart, what if it's Stealth backwards?

[18:56] Yeah, yeah, it might be.

[18:57] Wow, you're fast with that shit.

[18:58] It took me a minute to sound it out.

[18:59] The computer is named Eddie.

[19:00] Named Eddie.

[19:01] Guys, what does Eddie stand for?

[19:02] It's spelled EDI.

[19:03] What's it stand for?

[19:04] Dan, do you know?

[19:05] Every dog digs it.

[19:06] It's a dog.

[19:07] It's a dog.

[19:08] It's a dog.

[19:09] It's a dog.

[19:10] It's a dog.

[19:11] It's a dog.

[19:12] It's a dog.

[19:13] It's a dog.

[19:14] It's a dog.

[19:15] It's a dog.

[19:16] It's a dog.

[19:17] It's a dog.

[19:18] It's a dog.

[19:20] Every dog digs it.

[19:21] Eddie?

[19:22] Okay, every dog digs it, like digs the computer.

[19:25] Like, dig it.

[19:26] This is cool.

[19:27] Stuart, what do you want to try to steal this one?

[19:29] Dan, no, what it should have been.

[19:31] But what do you want to steal?

[19:33] Electronic data inspector.

[19:34] Ooh, such a good guess.

[19:36] No, it's extreme deep invader.

[19:38] Your answer's actually better than the one in the movie.

[19:40] That's way fucking cooler.

[19:42] More like a personal sex aid.

[19:44] Uh-huh, yeah.

[19:45] As opposed to an impersonal sex aid?

[19:48] Like a sex aid that doesn't look at you while you're doing it?

[19:50] That doesn't acknowledge you as a person.

[19:52] Yeah.

[19:53] Yeah.

[19:54] If that's what you're into.

[19:55] So, Dan, how do you defeat Eddie in stealth?

[19:57] Um...

[20:00] You just, like, shoot it with a missile?

[20:01] Blow up that plane?

[20:03] No.

[20:03] Stuart, how do you defeat Eddie in stealth?

[20:05] So it's not shoot it with a missile.

[20:07] I mean, it does get shot with a missile,

[20:08] but that's not how you defeat the computer.

[20:10] I'm going to say they use the power of love.

[20:12] Yeah, there you go.

[20:13] Stuart, I'm giving you a point for that.

[20:15] You bond with it so it develops a conscience

[20:17] and sacrifices itself to save you.

[20:20] It is the power of love, because that's the power of love.

[20:23] The power of love is the curious thing.

[20:26] Make one man cry, make another computer

[20:28] sacrifice itself to save the humans.

[20:30] That's the original lyrics.

[20:31] A minute.

[20:32] Scoring.

[20:33] Interesting.

[20:34] So, Stuart, now it's your turn.

[20:35] This movie, it's called Electric Dreams.

[20:38] Can you tell me the name of the computer in Electric Dreams?

[20:45] Is it Electro?

[20:48] No.

[20:51] I know this movie.

[20:52] This is the movie where the computer tries to,

[20:56] there's like a love triangle with the computer

[20:58] and a woman and a human man.

[20:59] The computer falls in love with Virginia Madsen,

[21:02] and the computer is voiced by Bud Cort.

[21:04] Not to be confused with Night Court, which is not a person,

[21:07] but a television show.

[21:10] Or the legal proceedings where they finally decided

[21:15] whether Bud Light or Bud Drive was better.

[21:19] The legal proceedings are all done by bottles of beer.

[21:26] I don't know what this thing's called.

[21:28] This computer is called Edgar.

[21:30] Not initials.

[21:31] Not initials.

[21:32] Went from Eddie to Edgar.

[21:33] Stuart, how do you defeat Edgar?

[21:36] I feel like the power of love's been really crushing it for me.

[21:39] Yeah.

[21:40] You want to go with the power of love?

[21:41] Yeah, I'm going to do power of love.

[21:43] You do that exactly.

[21:44] You prove that your wife loves you,

[21:46] so the computer commits suicide.

[21:48] Wow.

[21:49] You did it.

[21:49] The power of love is a very powerful weapon in this game.

[21:51] Stuart's coming from behind with the power of love.

[21:53] Yeah.

[21:54] I don't want to hear about Stuart coming from behind

[21:57] with the power of love anymore, Dan.

[21:58] No, thank you.

[21:59] Save it for your only fans.

[22:00] I have some videos saved on my phone.

[22:03] So, Daniel, the next question in this round is for you.

[22:05] I know this round's going long.

[22:07] The other rounds are not quite as long.

[22:09] iRobot, and I'm not asking about the robots, the movie iRobot.

[22:12] What's the name of the artificial computer intelligence

[22:14] that turns evil in iRobot?

[22:17] Well, it's not Alan Tudyk because he's the good robot.

[22:22] And again, that's the name of the actor in the movie.

[22:24] It's not a character.

[22:26] Chi McBride because he shoots the robot.

[22:29] Right.

[22:29] It's not Will Smith because he's our human protagonist.

[22:32] Again, very true.

[22:34] Yeah.

[22:37] Do you know, Stuart?

[22:38] I think it is named RoboMind.

[22:42] That'd be super cool.

[22:43] No, it's named Vicky.

[22:44] Vicky.

[22:45] That's not as...

[22:45] Oh, like it?

[22:46] Oh, it's because it's based on Small Wonder.

[22:49] Yeah, exactly.

[22:49] It's a remake.

[22:50] Because people forget Isaac Asimov created Small Wonder.

[22:53] So, Dan, what does Vicky stand for?

[22:55] It's V-I-K-I.

[22:56] What does Vicky stand for?

[22:57] Oh, boy.

[22:58] OK, let's see if I can really...

[23:00] I know the V.

[23:01] Try your hardest this time.

[23:02] Don't do a silly one.

[23:03] Do a real one.

[23:04] I'm going to really try here.

[23:05] OK.

[23:07] Virtual.

[23:08] Yeah.

[23:10] Intelligence.

[23:11] Ooh.

[23:12] Hmm.

[23:13] Oh.

[23:13] Well, keep going.

[23:15] Wait, was it V-I-K-I?

[23:17] Yeah.

[23:19] Let's see if you can get it.

[23:20] Virtual.

[23:20] You're warm.

[23:21] You're real warm.

[23:22] Virtual.

[23:24] Interface.

[23:26] Ooh, so close.

[23:28] Killing is what these robots do.

[23:31] That's what the I stands for, is what these robots do.

[23:34] Yeah, that's pretty cool.

[23:35] That's actually really cool.

[23:36] I'm going to say it's virtual.

[23:41] I don't know how you knew that, but yeah, you're on the right course.

[23:44] Investigation.

[23:47] No.

[23:47] Killing is what these robots do.

[23:52] So like, Werdl, you thought that the part that was wrong was just the first I,

[23:56] but killing is what the robots do in the real world.

[23:59] No, it is virtual interactive kinetic intelligence.

[24:02] So Dan was on the right track, and intelligence was putting it in the wrong place.

[24:06] So Dan, how do you defeat Vicky?

[24:08] Putting intelligence in the right and not in the right place is kind of this podcast.

[24:15] You, I don't know, you correct.

[24:20] You, there's some flaw in the laws of robotics that you go in and you correct it.

[24:26] You're like, no, no, no, this decimal point was in the wrong place.

[24:29] Seems like it, right, but you're wrong.

[24:31] Stuart, how do you defeat Vicky?

[24:32] I don't know, you let the good robot like upload its consciousness or something.

[24:37] Not exactly, but you inject nanites into its core.

[24:40] Oh, nanites.

[24:41] Yeah, nanites.

[24:42] It's always the nanites.

[24:43] I was going to say that.

[24:44] Stuart, your turn.

[24:45] The movie is Resident Evil, and I know you're like, that's like a zombie movie.

[24:49] There's an evil computer in it.

[24:50] Yeah, I mean, it's the Umbrella Corporation.

[24:55] Is it just called Umbrella?

[24:56] No, that'd be pretty cool.

[24:59] That'd be pretty cool, but it's not.

[25:01] Dan, what's the name of the evil computer?

[25:03] This one called like Mom or something?

[25:05] No, but it's along similar lines.

[25:07] You're on the right track, but you're not there.

[25:10] So it is called the Red Queen.

[25:13] The Red Queen is the evil computer.

[25:15] And Stuart, how do you defeat the Red Queen?

[25:19] You just got to shoot it a bunch.

[25:21] You know what?

[25:23] I think I may give you, I don't really remember how they did it.

[25:25] So I'm going to give you that one.

[25:27] Maybe they do just shoot it a bunch, which puts you in the lead amazingly.

[25:30] Dan, this is your turn.

[25:31] Now, here's a kind of computer movie I could see you getting really into.

[25:34] It's called Demon Seed.

[25:35] What's the name of the computer in Demon Seed?

[25:38] This is another perv computer.

[25:40] Is this the Barbara Hershey film?

[25:42] Is she in this or?

[25:44] No, it's Julie Christie.

[25:45] Julie Christie.

[25:46] OK, but I OK.

[25:50] I don't know what the evil computer is named.

[25:54] OK, it's the kind of name where you once you hear it, you're like,

[25:56] why did they name the computer that that's an evil sounding name?

[25:58] Stuart, it's going to be called like Lucifer or something.

[26:02] I mean, it's Proteus 4.

[26:04] All right. Oh, sick.

[26:05] And Dan, how do you defeat Proteus 4 as in the movie Demon Seed?

[26:09] Um.

[26:14] Do you.

[26:16] Is this the movie where the the computer sexually assaults a woman somehow

[26:21] and puts like a demon seed inside it?

[26:24] Yes. Hence the name Demon Seed.

[26:26] This one where the computer inseminates Julie Christie.

[26:29] Is Demon Seed the movie with the demon seed?

[26:32] Uh, they they they do it.

[26:39] Did they do a digital exorcism slash abortion of the demon seed?

[26:44] I don't know what they do.

[26:45] Very much not that.

[26:46] Stuart, what do they do?

[26:48] God damn, I want to go to my regular wheelhouse of power love, but I think.

[26:54] Now they they trap it in like a logic loop or something.

[26:57] You should have gone with your first instinct, Stuart.

[26:59] Damn it. The robot self destructs that the humans will take care of its clone

[27:03] baby techno offspring.

[27:05] So the baby is born out of like an incubator container thing.

[27:09] And yeah, the power of love is the robot gives itself

[27:12] a sacrifice itself for the for the baby's future pretty much.

[27:15] So, guys, OK, the power of love has been a pretty strong, pretty strong one.

[27:21] There's only now there's only one man weep and another man sing.

[27:26] There's only there's only three questions left in this round.

[27:28] Let's see how many of them are the power of love.

[27:31] So, Dan, the movie is another flophouse movie.

[27:33] I'm sure you remember. Yeah, great detail.

[27:35] It's called Transcendence.

[27:36] What is the name of the computer in Transcendence?

[27:41] Oh, of all the movies.

[27:43] Sorry, of course.

[27:44] Johnny Depp.

[27:46] It did. Yeah.

[27:47] I remember nothing about this movie.

[27:49] We watch this movie, Dan.

[27:50] It's called Transcendence.

[27:51] Rebecca Hall's in it.

[27:52] Paul Bettany.

[27:54] I like Murphy Academy Award winner, Kerry Murphy.

[27:57] Cole Hauser.

[27:59] Wow. What?

[28:00] Oh, I remember this one now.

[28:04] This is the one where where where where Johnny Depp's brain goes into it.

[28:08] He is, you know, he the his consciousness is turned into an A.I.

[28:12] computer. Yeah. Yes.

[28:13] OK, so the transcendence is the one where somebody transcends.

[28:17] Yeah, yeah. But it's not.

[28:18] But it's not a computer person.

[28:19] I wouldn't call him a computer person.

[28:20] He's a computer program based on the personality of a person.

[28:23] So the evil computer is in that movie.

[28:27] Johnny Depp.

[28:28] That's what I'm guessing.

[28:28] Johnny Depp is the.

[28:30] You know what, Stuart?

[28:30] If you can't give me the name of the character, then I'm going to give it to Dan.

[28:33] What is the name of the character in Transcendence?

[28:37] Uh, I don't know.

[28:40] Brian.

[28:43] Good guess. It's Dr.

[28:44] Will Castor.

[28:45] I'm going to give Dan a half a point for that one.

[28:47] Dan, how do you defeat Dr.

[28:49] Will Castor, the the misguided A.I.

[28:52] of Transcendence?

[28:55] You just unplug him.

[28:57] Oh, that would be a good answer, but it's not the right one.

[28:59] Power love. Power love.

[29:01] Um, you know what?

[29:04] It's not the power of love this time, but it kind of is.

[29:06] Well, no, you know what it is?

[29:07] It is the power.

[29:08] You know what?

[29:08] I'm going to give it to you, power love, because you know what?

[29:10] You threaten the computer that you're going to kill its best friend,

[29:12] Paul Bettany, unless it uses its last bit of energy to upload a virus

[29:16] that destroys all technology.

[29:17] But then you keep a little bit of the computer as some nanoparticles

[29:20] alive in your garden in a Faraday cage.

[29:21] So you know what?

[29:22] That's the power of love, because it was love for his friends that made it.

[29:25] So I'm going to say that power of love.

[29:27] OK, I was right again.

[29:28] Stewart, this is your movie.

[29:30] It's called Oblivion.

[29:31] What's the name of the evil computer in Oblivion?

[29:34] OK, this was the year that Tom Cruise had two science fiction adventure movies.

[29:38] One of them was great and the other one was not so good.

[29:42] This was a not so good one.

[29:43] You know, the other one's Oblivion.

[29:44] Exactly.

[29:46] He rides around in a sphere.

[29:48] Yes, I remember about it.

[29:49] Rides around in a sphere.

[29:50] He turns out to be a clone.

[29:52] What's the computer called, though?

[29:54] Overmind.

[29:55] Great name, but wrong.

[29:57] Dan?

[29:58] Undermind.

[29:59] Nope.

[30:00] Wrong. It is Tet. Tet is the name of the theater, uh, named after one of the great

[30:04] offensives in the, in military history. Yeah. Stuart, how do you defeat Tet?

[30:09] Uh, you like smack it with a crowbar. Uh, not, I mean a little, kind of. Dan, what do you do?

[30:16] Uh, power of love. No. I gotta get in on this.

[30:20] This is the one time love doesn't, doesn't save the day. That's the one dollar guess. Yeah.

[30:25] You trick, you trick it into letting you into its spaceship and then you set off a

[30:29] bomb blowing it up. So it is a physical attack. Uh, finally, uh, Stuart, this is for you.

[30:34] Uh, this is the last question in the round. Two in a row.

[30:38] Oh, oh, did you? Oh, no. Oh, that's right. No, you're right. It's Dan. It's Dan's turn. Although

[30:43] Dan started, how did I get these? How did I get these numberings wrong? I don't know. I must have

[30:46] messed it up at some point. Who cares? It doesn't matter. One of the mysteries of the universe.

[30:48] Dan, what's the name? Evil computer fucked you up.

[30:51] What's the name? You're behind anyway, Dan. So what's the name of the computer,

[30:54] evil computer in the movie Colossus, the Forbidden Project?

[30:58] Uh, is that called Colossus? You got that right, Dan. And what does Colossus stand for?

[31:02] Just kidding. It's not an acronym. Uh, but actually to tell us if it was, what would it stand for?

[31:08] Call out low. Us.

[31:14] Do you not know how to spell the word Colossus? Yes. I lost confidence halfway through and knowing

[31:19] what the letters in Colossus are. But I like to call out, I thought you were going to say call

[31:21] out love because, but Dan, how do you defeat Colossus in Colossus, the Forbidden Project?

[31:27] Oh, geez. I've even seen this one. I don't, I don't, I don't, um, you pour milk all over the

[31:34] circuits. Would be great if, great if true, but Stuart, how do you defeat Colossus in Colossus,

[31:39] the Forbidden Project? Well, Colossus is immune to milk. Okay. So I'm assuming he's going to be

[31:44] immune to all liquid based lactose tolerant. Yeah, exactly. So cheese isn't going to work.

[31:50] Cream, heavy creams. I think it's due. I'm going to say logic loop. You gotta get them in logic

[31:55] loop. Oh, it's a trick question, guys. You don't defeat Colossus. He wins at the end of the movie

[32:01] and solidifies his control of humanity. Game over, man. Game over. And that game is over too. So

[32:07] leaving round one, it's a close game. It's a tie game. The score is six to six. So this is amazing.

[32:13] You guys are going head to head and you're doing a great job. This next game is going to be a little

[32:16] more imaginative, though. We've seen your recall for facts. Now it's time for the essay portion of

[32:21] the games. This is round two. We're talking about movies where you go into a computer world. There

[32:25] are a lot of movies. People find themselves in a virtual computer world or they, you know,

[32:30] they get sucked in or they go there on purpose or they discover they're in one. And the computer

[32:33] world seemed good at first, but they always turn out bad. And this represents humanity's fear of

[32:37] technology or whatever. So in the movies, it's always a bad thing to get sucked into a computer

[32:41] world. But there's got to be something good about them, right? Or else we won't want to see movies

[32:45] where people get sucked into them. So in this game, you're going to tell you're going to be

[32:49] playing the part of a travel agent who is selling me on a trip to one of these computer worlds.

[32:53] OK, sure. Three points for convincing me to go on this trip. This is a game called Micro Trip.

[33:00] Micro Trip. And so we're going to start with Stu because we started with Dan last time,

[33:05] even though we ended with Dan last time. Somehow I got the numbering wrong. Stuart,

[33:09] you're your first assignment, Tron. Sell me on Tron. Why should I be going to Tron? Fucking peasy.

[33:15] Hey, bud. Yeah. Can I interest you in a stay in Tron? Now, I know you're a competitive guy. And

[33:22] guess what? When you're in Tron, all you do is play games, buddy. You're playing them all the

[33:26] time. You look like a sportsman. You look like you're pretty athletic. You would love Tron.

[33:31] You'd be throwing light balls everywhere. You also have an eye for design. Let me tell you,

[33:36] Tron looks incredible. It's bright. Everything is designed very well. Minimalist.

[33:40] But that also kind of goes with your kind of rugged, minimalist aesthetic.

[33:46] Also, the soundtrack is great. I see you're wearing a Daft Punk T-shirt. Guess what? They

[33:52] did a lot of the music. Do you like Robo Babes? There's plenty of them. That's what Tron's all

[33:58] about. Babes, cool stuff that looks cool, playing games all the time. I feel like you would love

[34:03] Tron. Stuart, I got to say, flattery will get you getting me to Tron. So that's a great job.

[34:11] That's three full points. Yeah. Dan, I wasn't aware you could just make up details about the

[34:16] person you're selling the thing to. Dan, you're not just selling a place. You're selling an idea

[34:20] and a persona. Yeah. You got to sell the fantasy, the complete fantasy. And that's what I do.

[34:28] Dan, on the ex-body spray commercials, they go, this body spray, it smells real good. They go,

[34:33] when you put this on, you are irresistible to women and they will refuse to let go of you.

[34:37] So this is going to be as easy as Tron. Dan,

[34:41] sell me on going to the existence world. Why should I take a trip to existence?

[34:45] Oh, easy as hell. Here's the thing about life. You go through life, you reach a certain age,

[34:53] you feel like you've seen everything. Well, my friend, you've not seen what it's like to

[34:58] live inside existence because have you ever thought to yourself, why are all these machines

[35:03] made out of metal and plastic and, you know, inert? I have wondered that. Yeah. Couldn't

[35:09] couldn't more things be made out of like sort of goop and flesh and like bits of a tooth maybe?

[35:18] That's that's the world I'm selling you in existence. Are you still in it right now?

[35:23] You don't know. That's the beauty of it. Like you could have already agreed to go to existence

[35:28] and only remember later on. So that's why I think it's perfect for you.

[35:33] Dan, I'm going to give you I'm going to give you two points for that one,

[35:37] because you really were losing me with the idea that the world is made out of flesh and teeth.

[35:41] But once you once you once you kind of made me realize I might already be in existence,

[35:46] I was like, yeah, I got to take this trip just to find out if I'm in it.

[35:49] Yeah, that makes sense. That was a good one. Yeah. I was surprised you weren't like,

[35:53] hey, you have a phone right now. Imagine your phone is like soft made of skin.

[35:59] Hey, haven't you ever wanted to make a gun out of the bones of a duck?

[36:02] Now you can do it. So, Stuart, now it is your turn. You've got another one.

[36:08] Sell me on taking a trip to Victory, California,

[36:10] the computer world from Don't Worry, Darling, another Flophouse fave.

[36:14] OK. Hey, Harry Styles, right?

[36:21] You know, you know, your wife or girlfriend who is,

[36:26] you know, kind of the breadwinner and has emasculated you.

[36:30] Well, why don't you knock her ass out and send her to

[36:33] Victory, California? And you know what? You can go with her.

[36:36] And when you're there, you get to be the breadwinner.

[36:38] You get to dance all the time. You get to hang out with fucking

[36:42] Chris Pine. You get to look cool. You get to wear cool outfits.

[36:46] You don't have to worry about all this other crap.

[36:50] You get to you get to go back to when things were like just a little bit simpler.

[36:54] And as Dan McCoy says, just a little bit better.

[36:58] Don't put these words, you know, when we're, you know, you know,

[37:02] no people do their place. No, that's what Dan says.

[37:05] No, I don't say. So, yeah.

[37:07] Can I interest you in a ticket to Victory, California today?

[37:11] You tried, Stu. I think if you had started with the clothes and the glamour,

[37:15] you might have had me. But starting out with the knocking out your girlfriend,

[37:20] that made it a deal breaker for me. So I'm sorry.

[37:22] That was, you know, I feel like you should have.

[37:24] Yeah, I got lost in the sauce, guys. I'm sorry.

[37:28] So, Dan, maybe you'll have a better luck with your next assignment.

[37:32] Sell me on a trip to the very dangerous jungle in Jumanji.

[37:36] Welcome to the jungle.

[37:37] What is life, if not a sense of adventure,

[37:42] seeing something new, feeling emotions, perhaps, that you haven't felt before?

[37:48] It's a remake.

[37:51] At a certain point, I'm not really getting a sense of where I'm going.

[37:54] But I crave the idea that, like, I don't know, a bunch of tigers

[37:58] would jump at you or something just to make you feel alive.

[38:02] God damn it. Okay, he's got it.

[38:05] He's on, you know, this work in a world sitting at home in Los Angeles,

[38:10] typing away at a typeboard. That's what they're called, right?

[38:13] I don't know, because I live in a world of excitement and adventure.

[38:17] I haven't seen one of your type boards in months.

[38:22] I've been here finding gold or some shit.

[38:24] I don't even remember what happens in that movie.

[38:27] But it's all kind of adventure stories style stuff, which sounds fun to me.

[38:32] I'm going to give you one point, Dan.

[38:34] I feel like it's fair.

[38:37] You sold me on the idea that you like it so much that you live there.

[38:40] You know, you're not just selling.

[38:43] You're a believer, a buyer.

[38:44] So that got me over the hump of the idea.

[38:46] I don't really want a bunch of tigers to jump at me.

[38:48] So no, most times it's better to not have tigers jumping at you.

[38:54] So, Stuart, you each have one more in the round.

[38:57] Sell me on taking a trip to the low budget recreation of the set from Casablanca

[39:04] in the movie Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, starring Raul Julia.

[39:07] He goes into a computer world and ends up at a low budget,

[39:10] kind of crappy reproduction of the scenes from Casablanca.

[39:13] Why should I go on this trip?

[39:15] Hey, yeah, you, the guy who's the number one fan of Casablanca,

[39:19] but doesn't have the most money in the world.

[39:21] Would you like to go to a cheaper version of the thing you love?

[39:25] Do you like actor Raul Julia?

[39:28] Well, do I have something for you, buddy?

[39:31] It is this cheap reproduction of Casablanca from the movie Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.

[39:38] I mean, you got it.

[39:39] I'm a movie lover on a budget.

[39:41] That's three points right there, for sure.

[39:45] And Dan, but I'm sure you'll have just as much luck, Dan, with yours.

[39:48] Sell me on taking a trip to the eight minute simulation of a train

[39:52] that keeps blowing up in the movie Source Code.

[39:55] Oh, man, that's a rough one.

[39:57] Mondays, am I right?

[40:00] I don't want to go to work, you don't want to go to work.

[40:05] What if, on the way to work, you go partway through,

[40:11] you blow up before you even get to work,

[40:12] but then, here's the kicker, here's the best part,

[40:15] you don't die, you just reset.

[40:17] You go back eight minutes, you know?

[40:20] Provided that you've got a few good books,

[40:23] I say this is a great way to spend your vacation.

[40:28] A couple of months will fly by

[40:30] while you're in this time loop.

[40:33] And you can get all the chillax in time that you want,

[40:37] and you never have to worry about

[40:39] walking in that door at work on Monday morning.

[40:43] You know, you kind of, I don't know.

[40:44] You have a sad ending of Source Code, you're like,

[40:46] well, at least he doesn't have to go to work anymore.

[40:49] Yeah, that one, I'm giving you,

[40:50] I'm gonna give you a point on that one, Dan,

[40:52] because once you did, you did tap into,

[40:55] you did tap into my fantasy of just being able

[40:56] to sit for eternity reading books.

[40:58] And if it's rebooted, I can kind of remember

[41:00] where I left off, probably.

[41:03] And eventually, after a couple thousand explosions,

[41:05] I'll be finished with that book.

[41:07] So, that's the end of that round.

[41:08] Looking at the scores, oh my God, this is amazing.

[41:11] You guys are still both tied.

[41:13] It's 11 to 11 at the end of round two.

[41:16] Let's take a very short break from computer games

[41:19] to just tell you a quick word about our upcoming live show

[41:23] in Boston, Massachusetts.

[41:25] That's right, on July 26th, we are gonna be live,

[41:29] in your face, if you're there,

[41:30] in Boston, Massachusetts at WBUR City Space.

[41:33] We're gonna do an all-new show, it's gonna be super fun.

[41:36] We haven't decided on the movie yet,

[41:37] but it's gonna be great.

[41:39] So, if you're actually-

[41:40] Wait, did you say WBUR City Space?

[41:42] WBUR City Space.

[41:43] WB, okay.

[41:44] WBUR City Space, just like the hit TV show,

[41:47] WBUR in Boston, Addie.

[41:50] If you're coming to the show,

[41:53] why not let us know what movie you wanna see?

[41:56] Can't guarantee we'll watch that one,

[41:57] but might be interesting to see

[41:58] what Boston wants to hear about.

[42:00] But go to flophousepodcast.com slash events

[42:03] on your internet computer browser.

[42:05] Go into your computer,

[42:06] don't get sucked into a computer world.

[42:08] Go to flophousepodcast.com slash events

[42:10] and get all your tickets and info there.

[42:13] July 26th, we're gonna be in Boston, Massachusetts.

[42:15] I'm really looking forward to it.

[42:16] The last time we were in Boston, we did some great shows,

[42:19] we had some great audiences.

[42:20] It's been years, and I can't wait to get a taste

[42:23] of that delicious Beantown one more time.

[42:25] The Greatest Generation has been going

[42:33] for more than eight years.

[42:34] And if you've been Greatest Gen Curious,

[42:37] but have never taken the leap,

[42:39] we recommend exploring your Greatest Gen Curiosity

[42:42] in a safe, fun environment with partners you can trust.

[42:46] And right now is one of the best times ever

[42:48] to become a new listener.

[42:50] That's because we just started covering a new series,

[42:53] Star Trek Enterprise, one of the horniest

[42:56] and weirdest editions of Star Trek ever released.

[42:59] This is your chance to ease

[43:00] into the Greatest Generation lifestyle.

[43:02] The Greatest Generation,

[43:04] now covering Star Trek Enterprise,

[43:06] the one with Scott Bakula,

[43:07] every Monday on MaximumFun.org or in your podcast app.

[43:12] Hey, Sidney, you're a physician and the co-host of Sawbones,

[43:15] a marital tour of misguided medicine, right?

[43:17] That's true, Justin.

[43:17] Is it true that our medical history podcast

[43:20] is just as good as a visit to your primary care physician?

[43:23] No, Justin, that is absolutely not true.

[43:25] However, our podcast is funny and interesting

[43:28] and a great way to learn about the medical misdeeds

[43:31] of the past, as well as some current,

[43:33] not so legit healthcare fads.

[43:35] So you're saying that by listening to our podcast,

[43:37] people will feel better.

[43:38] Sure.

[43:39] And isn't that the same reason that you go to the doctor?

[43:41] Well, you could say that.

[43:43] And our podcast is free?

[43:44] Yes, it is free.

[43:46] You heard it here first, folks.

[43:47] Sawbones, marital tour of misguided medicine,

[43:50] right here on Maximum Fun,

[43:51] just as good as going to the doctor.

[43:52] No, no, no, still not just as good as going to the doctor,

[43:55] but pretty good.

[43:56] It's up there.

[43:57] So guys, we're back to computer games

[44:00] and we're up to round three.

[44:01] To remind everyone who might've stepped away

[44:03] during the commercial, the score is 11 to 11.

[44:06] Dan and Stuart are tied.

[44:08] It's amazing.

[44:08] This is amazing.

[44:10] And so this is a round where we're gonna talk

[44:12] about computer person movies.

[44:14] Maybe a person comes out of a computer,

[44:16] maybe someone has a brain with a computer in it,

[44:18] and the computer takes on a physical form.

[44:20] Like virtuosity.

[44:21] Yeah, yeah.

[44:22] Maybe a computer takes on a physical form

[44:24] that is different from just a robot.

[44:25] The point is the melding of man and machine is complete,

[44:27] and this represents humanity's fear of technology

[44:30] or whatever.

[44:31] And so we're gonna play a game that's called FMK.EXE.

[44:35] FMK.EXE.

[44:39] And this is the classic game of fuck, marry, kill

[44:43] with characters who happen to be computer people.

[44:47] And this is gonna be, I think,

[44:48] I'm trying to decide whether you guys

[44:50] should each have your own sets of people

[44:51] or if you're competing with what you think.

[44:52] This is a blockbuster after dark section, I guess.

[44:54] Should we each have?

[44:55] Yeah, yeah, this is very much after dark.

[44:57] Put the kids to bed.

[44:58] I think we should each have our personal ratings on each,

[45:03] and you can decide which persuades you the most.

[45:06] All right, so this is the first one,

[45:07] and you're each gonna get your turn.

[45:08] So you know what, we'll take turns

[45:09] with who goes first for each one.

[45:10] Okay, so Dan, it's your turn to go first,

[45:12] then Stuart, you give your answer.

[45:14] So FMK, you know, to make it safe for kids,

[45:19] instead of fuck, marry, kill,

[45:19] we'll just say finger, marry, kill.

[45:21] So that's better, right?

[45:22] I don't think so.

[45:24] Who am I gonna finger?

[45:26] Who is it?

[45:27] No, it's full-on hardcore sex, Dan.

[45:28] So sex, marry, kill.

[45:30] Dan, these are your choices for this one.

[45:32] Johnny Mnemonic from Johnny Mnemonic.

[45:33] He's got a computer in his head.

[45:35] Great.

[45:36] Lisa from Weird Science.

[45:37] She came out of a computer.

[45:38] Or Lobot from Empire Strikes Back,

[45:41] everyone's favorite computer-headed guy.

[45:42] So easy.

[45:44] So Dan, FMK, who's it gonna be for which one?

[45:50] See, well, here's the classic problem with this.

[45:55] It's like, so if you're married to this person,

[45:58] you presumably, like, do you also have

[45:59] a sexual relationship with them?

[46:01] Or it's just like, and the fuck is just like,

[46:03] oh, I'm just gonna bang it out one night.

[46:05] Yeah, which one is the one night stand

[46:06] and which one is the...

[46:07] Yeah, that's the...

[46:08] With the fuck aspect, it's all physical,

[46:10] there's no emotional aspect.

[46:11] If you're married, you're emotionally entangled

[46:13] with this person, in addition to being

[46:14] physically entangled with this person.

[46:16] Uh-huh.

[46:19] Although, you know, there's a certain,

[46:21] you know, you have to admit that there's

[46:24] a certain, like, fantastic element to the idea

[46:27] of, like, there's someone who will provide you

[46:29] with whatever, like, you need in life.

[46:33] This dude is talking about Lobot.

[46:34] I'm talking about, of course, Weird Science.

[46:37] Like, the moral of that, like, eventually

[46:39] the boys have to put away that childish,

[46:42] adolescent fantasy.

[46:43] Sure.

[46:44] And be with, you know, human beings

[46:47] who have their own full desires and emotional lives.

[46:50] Sure, okay.

[46:50] So...

[46:51] We're talking about you, Dan.

[46:52] What are you, what's your answer?

[46:53] No, I'm just saying, I think that that means

[46:55] that I will have to marry, of course,

[46:59] Johnny Mnemonic.

[47:02] I mean, if you can even pronounce his name,

[47:03] you're gonna be like, what's your name, sir?

[47:05] I'm Daniel Mnemonic.

[47:07] Or would you just keep your own name?

[47:08] Daniel with those soulful eyes.

[47:11] And of course, fuck Lisa from Weird Science.

[47:14] That's her name, right?

[47:15] Yes, Lisa.

[47:16] And Lobot, I have no personal grievance against you,

[47:20] but I'll have to, you have to fall, one must fall.

[47:24] So it's you, Lobot, I'm sorry.

[47:26] Okay, Stuart, what do you feel?

[47:27] Dan and I, not on the same page at all.

[47:30] Obviously, I'm fucking Lobot,

[47:32] because that dude is hot as shit.

[47:34] I gotta marry Lisa because I feel like we,

[47:38] I feel like we have a lot in common.

[47:39] And obviously, human relationships,

[47:41] they're not all that's cracked up to be.

[47:42] And then I gotta kill Johnny Mnemonic

[47:44] because I'm trying to get the favors

[47:46] of the Yakuza and Takeshi Katano.

[47:52] Dan, Dan, what do you have to say to that?

[47:54] I mean, I think Stuart's energy really sold that one.

[47:57] I mean, it's like, here he is, he.

[47:59] Stuart's energy, and also that Stuart

[48:01] is much more correct than you, Dan.

[48:04] Because the minute you said kill Lobot,

[48:06] you were losing this one.

[48:08] That is not happening.

[48:09] You kill Johnny Mnemonic so you can get in well,

[48:11] good with Takeshi Katano, you fuck Lisa,

[48:14] and you marry Lobot.

[48:15] Lobot is a provider.

[48:16] You see his relationship with Lando?

[48:17] So that's close.

[48:18] Lando and Lobot have the deepest emotional connection

[48:21] of any two Star Wars characters.

[48:23] And so that's what you do.

[48:24] So, Stuart, you're gonna get partial credit.

[48:27] So that's one point, because it's two points.

[48:30] Actually, no, it's three points for correct.

[48:31] So you know what, you're gonna get,

[48:32] yeah, one point for that.

[48:33] I'm glad there's a correct answer.

[48:35] Yeah.

[48:36] There has to be.

[48:37] Okay, so this next one.

[48:38] Okay, Stuart, you get your first shot at this one.

[48:41] Dexter Riley from the Computer War Tennis Shoes,

[48:44] Job Smith played by Jeff Fahey from The Lawnmower Man,

[48:47] or Job Smith played by Matt Fruher

[48:49] from The Lawnmower Man 2 Beyond Cyberspace.

[48:51] Fuck, marry, kill, which of those three?

[48:54] Okay, I'm gonna marry Job played by Jeff Fahey,

[48:58] because I feel like he's going through a lot of growth

[49:01] and he's got a lot to learn.

[49:02] I gotta fuck Matt Fruher,

[49:03] because man, what a fucking stone cold fox.

[49:05] And I guess that means I gotta kill

[49:07] the Computer War Tennis Shoes, bye.

[49:10] Okay, Dan, what do you say?

[49:11] Fuck, marry, kill, Dexter Riley,

[49:13] Job Smith, Jeff Fahey, or Job Smith, Matt Fruher?

[49:15] I am going to marry Dexter Riley,

[49:19] because, I mean, that's Kurt Russell.

[49:21] So I'm fulfilling the dream of marrying Kurt Russell.

[49:25] I'm going to kill,

[49:27] kill, sorry, I'm gonna fuck Jeff Fahey as The Lawnmower Man,

[49:32] who's got a real sleazy do-anything-in-bed energy to him,

[49:36] but is ultimately a psychotic person

[49:40] that you wouldn't want to stick around with,

[49:42] and then kill Fruher, who I have not seen in the sequels,

[49:47] but I can only assume gives more of an irritating performance

[49:51] as The Lawnmower Man.

[49:53] I love Matt Fruher.

[49:54] I'm just saying that I think the energy

[49:55] is probably gonna be like-

[49:56] He has more of a, he's got,

[49:58] he uses up a little too much headroom.

[50:00] room yeah the maximum amount of headroom uh dan you know what uh i'm gonna give you a point

[50:07] for your description of jeff fahey and why you would have sex with him yeah that makes sense

[50:11] actually but stewart you get three points because you were exactly right you killed extra riley

[50:16] you marry fahey you fuck frewer because frewer's got jackhammer energy you know that that's going

[50:20] to be a wild night whereas fahey you can change him maybe you can save him you know that's right

[50:25] so that's three points dan this is not your round so far but maybe maybe that'll turn around with

[50:31] this next one because dan you got first shot at this so fuck mary kill samantha from her

[50:36] this is the computer voice sure that uh that that uh joaquin phoenix falls in love it so

[50:41] would you actually have sex with her or would she just talk you off well i mean that's a form of

[50:45] sex you know the mind is right you're largest erogenous zone and all that yeah um samantha

[50:50] from her seth the self-evolving thought helix from uh that the evil computer that gives itself

[50:56] the body of michael jai white in universal soldier the return or he's come up he's it's come up

[51:02] already in conversation sid 6.7 from virtuosity so that's samantha from her seth from universal

[51:08] soldier the return or sid from virtuosity uh i think i'm gonna have to marry her uh because

[51:22] i mean like it's just a very like she's a very comforting presence i think over time

[51:27] it would be uh just uh you know just a comfort helpful comfort all times sid has to go

[51:34] he's a murderer and would terrify me uh and i guess that means i have to fuck the universal

[51:41] soldier computer even though i have no particular feeling about it one way or the other okay i feel

[51:46] like dan's partially correct uh i feel like you definitely have to fuck the universal soldier

[51:51] uh you know because it's michael j white the body on that one right uh he was spawned for guts he

[51:58] was spawned he was black dynamite come on he's amazing uh and uh let's see i would have to kill

[52:06] her because uh it's just too bad but like uh i need like a little i need something a little

[52:13] more physically you know and then on the bones yeah yeah and then uh and then i guess that means

[52:21] doesn't even have bones on the bones yeah yeah then i'm marrying uh marion said because i feel

[52:26] like uh i feel like i need that kind of uh well i certainly could change him but also like i need

[52:31] that like a little bit of i like a bad boy you know i like a little bit of bad boy that's real

[52:36] of not knowing what day he's gonna murder you a little bit of a bad boy the man made up of several

[52:41] like serial killer profiles yep uh this one wow i didn't think it was gonna happen what a turnaround

[52:49] dan you are exactly right you got three points on that one you gotta kill sid he's a murderer

[52:55] get him out of there and you marry her because she's she's gonna be she's the most emotionally

[52:59] mature of them but you gotta have sex with michael jay white you gotta do it you know

[53:03] so stewart i'm gonna give you given the chance one point for that one uh now there's only one

[53:08] left in this so this is again fuck mary kale uh stewart you answer this one first so for resetting

[53:15] here are your options trickster from brain scan the evil video game character trickster

[53:21] oh yes uh i know who he is

[53:25] simone the virtual actress from the movie sim one starring al pacino or the combo of

[53:32] mitako kasanagi and the puppet master from the end of ghost in the shell where they've

[53:36] merged into one being but bonus option you can also choose as one of your alternatives

[53:42] the holographic split personality projections of agent sebastian aka the toy maker the human

[53:48] imprisoned in cyberspace with ai personalities from spy kids 3d game over played by sylvester

[53:53] stallone so once again your choices are trickster from brain scan yeah simone the virtual virtual

[53:58] actress from sim one the combo of kusanagi and the puppet master from the end of ghost in the shell

[54:03] and or the ai or i can do i can swap them out yeah yeah the toy maker you know what you don't

[54:09] have to use all of them okay okay so somebody is somebody could just be left left uh left on the

[54:15] side yeah exactly yeah oh okay this is chat this is a really hard one i have to go first huh wow

[54:20] that's really tough uh but i think i can do this so man trickster from brain scan i'm gonna have to

[54:28] say maybe wow i just feel like he's really committed and he would pay he pays a lot of

[54:37] attention to eddie furlong in that so i feel like i like that kind of attention i like that kind of

[54:42] attention paid toward me you know yeah okay and yeah so maybe he's maybe psychotic and makes me

[54:49] gaslights me into thinking i'm killing people or maybe i am killing people am i killing people who

[54:53] knows am i just playing a game uh so that's that i got i got that taken care of uh i'm gonna have

[55:01] to wait uh wait who's oh uh i'll get uh i guess i'll have sex with al pacino's robot girlfriend

[55:10] um well not his girlfriend it's his client he's like an agent or a manager or a director or

[55:16] something oh okay yeah well that's fine part of the part of stuart's interest was and then i guess

[55:21] i'm gonna have to kill you're more interested when you were cuckolding al pacino than anything else

[55:26] yeah i guess that's yeah that's why you were pursuing beverly d'angelo for so long you know

[55:30] oh you know it uh i mean for a large part of my life that the answer to that is yes uh the

[55:38] uh i guess that means i'm gonna have to i'm gonna have to kill kusanagi if or i'm going to attempt

[55:43] to but kusanagi is a wily combatant so we'll see there's no way you're surviving that you've you've

[55:47] sealed your doom uh dan what about you so do you want me to tell you what the options are no i i got

[55:53] it uh because it's trickster from brain scans simone from sim one that combo of kusanagi and

[55:58] pup master from ghost of the shell and of course the holographic split personality ai projections

[56:04] of agent sebastian aka the toy maker from spy kids 3d game over yeah well here's the thing like

[56:11] i certainly have my hedonistic side but i think overall i'm i'm too vanilla in my needs to go for

[56:18] anyone other than simone for uh my marriage uh beautiful highly accomplished actress who

[56:28] presumably uh you know is bringing is a bread winner from her hollywood uh star stardom yeah

[56:35] huge star yeah and uh yeah because they pay computers a lot of money well i think like

[56:41] tricking people that this is real in the movie i can't even remember they got they are that's

[56:45] true but i mean this literally was what we just went on strike about was not not replacing human

[56:49] actors with ai so it's interesting that you're literally sleeping with the enemy on this one

[56:52] but okay yes that's true but this is for marriage you're saying simone yeah okay

[56:57] fuck uh the trickster because must must know a few tricks in bed you know

[57:05] when he puts eddie for a long his whole head in his mouth

[57:08] yeah imagine what he could do goes crazy because that's what you want is a huge mouth

[57:14] yeah uh some of us have specific requirements yeah that's true that's true i forgot and whether

[57:19] it's the hybrid creature or stallone that's too scary for me so i'm afraid they'll have to be

[57:25] killed both of them okay wow uh let's take a look at this so uh the correct answers are of course

[57:32] that you you do marry simone so dan that's great right there uh you kill trickster you

[57:38] got to get rid of trickster sorry and you have sex with those split personalities you're having

[57:43] a foursome with three sylvester stallones that's true sorry guys that's what you're gonna have to

[57:47] do so let's yeah i guess we really biff this one but no you know what stewart i'm gonna give you a

[57:52] point for marrying the trickster because i feel like that shows bravery depth of compassion that

[57:58] i certainly don't have i guess yeah and bravery and uh dan i'm gonna give you uh a a one also for

[58:04] marrying simone so let's take a look at the ends of this so this oh the things are things are

[58:10] starting to heat up we now have a difference in the scores stewart has taken a one point lead

[58:18] after that round the score is now stewart dan 22 no sorry not 22 sorry dan 16 stewart 17

[58:28] so i accidentally added two numbers twice this would sting if it didn't feel incredibly arbitrary

[58:33] it's nothing gets more arbitrary you know as i said i'm not particularly interested in games but

[58:38] i think i might be coming around i like this one now here's this next round if you want arbitrary

[58:43] let's get let's get going because this is round four the last kind of computer movie movies where

[58:47] someone just uses a computer at some point in the movie now this is a now so what we're going to do

[58:53] here is for a total of three points for the winner which means whoever wins this round is the winner

[58:59] of the game this is enough dan for you to take take the game uh each take turns naming movies

[59:05] where someone uses a computer until one of you runs out and so this can in theory go on forever

[59:10] so i'm calling this game infinite joust infinite joust back and forth so just back and forth uh

[59:18] dan you started first last time right i believe so stewart you start you just name a movie where

[59:23] someone uses a computer dan you do the same and we'll see where this ends fireproof uh sneakers

[59:30] men women and children clear and present danger ghostbusters disclosure um just cause working girl

[59:43] uh i don't got anything you guys are running out fast uh uh commando hackers i was surprised

[59:52] hackers took this long to get to predator the net did he use a computer and predator

[1:00:00] I think the Predator, I guess, uses a computer.

[1:00:02] Fair.

[1:00:03] Okay, Dan, you saved him.

[1:00:04] He uses a computer on his wrist.

[1:00:05] Yeah, sure.

[1:00:06] Oh, man.

[1:00:07] Dan was my lifeline.

[1:00:08] It's rare when your opponent steps in as your lifeline, but it was a good choice.

[1:00:13] The sleeveless in Seattle.

[1:00:15] Adaptation.

[1:00:16] You've got mail.

[1:00:21] Come on, Dan.

[1:00:22] It's the most common piece of personal electronics other than a phone.

[1:00:26] Make Mr. Right.

[1:00:29] What women want.

[1:00:30] Do they use a computer in what women want?

[1:00:33] I think they work in an office.

[1:00:34] Probably.

[1:00:35] There's a lot of computers in there.

[1:00:39] You know what?

[1:00:40] I can't remember any other computer movies.

[1:00:41] I can't remember any of them.

[1:00:43] Really?

[1:00:44] None of them.

[1:00:45] No other movies where someone uses a computer.

[1:00:46] Elliot, I'm a simple man.

[1:00:48] I like games that end.

[1:00:50] Well, sorry, this one's not.

[1:00:52] I'm giving you one, Dan.

[1:00:53] I Know Who Killed Me, where Lindsay Lohan looks up some information on a computer.

[1:00:57] Stu.

[1:00:58] Okay.

[1:00:59] Shit.

[1:01:00] Now I'm stumped.

[1:01:01] Um, transcendent.

[1:01:02] RoboCop.

[1:01:03] Fuck.

[1:01:04] That's a good one.

[1:01:05] That is a good one.

[1:01:06] Yeah.

[1:01:07] RoboCop 2.

[1:01:08] RoboCop 3.

[1:01:09] RoboCop 4.

[1:01:10] There is no such thing.

[1:01:11] Oh, wow.

[1:01:12] But I'll accept the remake of RoboCop.

[1:01:13] So, Dan, that's it.

[1:01:14] Back to you.

[1:01:15] Oh, man.

[1:01:16] We're trapped here.

[1:01:17] There's no way to escape.

[1:01:18] Oh, my God.

[1:01:19] Oh, my God.

[1:01:20] Oh, my God.

[1:01:21] Oh, my God.

[1:01:22] Oh, my God.

[1:01:23] Oh, my God.

[1:01:24] Oh, my God.

[1:01:25] Oh, my God.

[1:01:26] Oh, my God.

[1:01:27] Oh, my God.

[1:01:28] Oh, my God.

[1:01:29] Oh, my God.

[1:01:30] There's no way to escape this one, Stuart.

[1:01:31] So, he says, Starship Troopers.

[1:01:32] What do you say to that?

[1:01:33] Oh, man.

[1:01:34] Where's the Minotaur at the center of this labyrinth?

[1:01:35] Uh, labyrinth.

[1:01:36] Well, okay.

[1:01:37] You know what?

[1:01:38] That's – I think there's – I don't think there is a computer in Labyrinth.

[1:01:47] Listeners, write in.

[1:01:48] Is there a computer in Labyrinth?

[1:01:49] Is there a computer in Labyrinth?

[1:01:51] But you know, it's possible that you are thinking of the movie Big, in which there

[1:01:55] is a kind of fantasy computer game at the beginning, so we'll say Big for Stuart.

[1:01:59] Dan, you're up next.

[1:02:00] Oh, that's what's happening?

[1:02:01] I think so.

[1:02:02] Right?

[1:02:03] He's playing like a game or something?

[1:02:04] Mm-hmm.

[1:02:05] I think I remember that.

[1:02:06] Yeah.

[1:02:07] Um.

[1:02:08] Uh.

[1:02:09] Uh.

[1:02:10] Uh.

[1:02:11] Uh.

[1:02:12] Uh.

[1:02:13] Uh.

[1:02:14] The Mill on the Floss.

[1:02:15] That's a – that's a – that's a movie, right?

[1:02:18] Not just a book.

[1:02:19] I mean, it's a book.

[1:02:20] I don't know if they made it.

[1:02:21] I mean, there wouldn't be a computer in it, because it's a – it's an old book.

[1:02:22] Yeah.

[1:02:23] So, um.

[1:02:25] I made a terrible mistake.

[1:02:26] Oh, no.

[1:02:27] Oh, and then Stuart compounded it.

[1:02:28] Miller's Crossing also does not have any computers in it.

[1:02:30] Do you – are you sure?

[1:02:32] Can you – can our listeners – let me ask you this.

[1:02:34] Let's watch.

[1:02:35] Listeners write in and tell us, you guys, you've defeated my – you've defeated

[1:02:38] the evil – evil computer, Elliot, who thought he had trapped you, but you found a way out.

[1:02:43] You found a hidden backdoor by naming movies that are from – set in the past, and therefore

[1:02:47] don't have computers in them.

[1:02:49] In this way, you are both winners.

[1:02:51] You have won by defeating the program.

[1:02:52] Oh, God.

[1:02:54] We did it.

[1:02:55] We got out of this.

[1:02:56] Stuart, you don't have to do it anymore.

[1:02:57] You did it already.

[1:02:58] I know.

[1:02:59] He's caught in a loop.

[1:03:00] You've escaped this game world.

[1:03:01] And so, I guess the only question I've left is, if Elliot was a computer acronym, what

[1:03:04] would it stand for?

[1:03:05] Electronic.

[1:03:06] Liar.

[1:03:07] Loves.

[1:03:08] Idioms.

[1:03:09] Or.

[1:03:10] Tater Tots.

[1:03:11] Okay.

[1:03:12] It's accurate.

[1:03:13] It's not even a computer acronym.

[1:03:14] It'd just be an acronym for me.

[1:03:15] Sure.

[1:03:16] Everybody.

[1:03:17] Ladies.

[1:03:18] Love.

[1:03:19] Icthyosaurs.

[1:03:20] Or.

[1:03:21] Tater Tots.

[1:03:22] Yeah, sure.

[1:03:23] Or.

[1:03:24] Tater Top.

[1:03:25] Well, you did it.

[1:03:26] Great work, both you guys.

[1:03:27] I think you're both winners, not because of the score, but because you've managed to

[1:03:28] break the game and escape from the horrifying computer game world that I've trapped you

[1:03:29] in.

[1:03:30] Yay!

[1:03:31] Yay!

[1:03:32] Yay!

[1:03:33] Yay!

[1:03:34] Yay!

[1:03:35] Yay!

[1:03:36] Yay!

[1:03:37] Yay!

[1:03:38] Yay!

[1:03:39] Yay!

[1:03:40] Yay!

[1:03:41] Yay!

[1:03:42] Yay!

[1:03:43] Yay!

[1:03:44] Yay!

[1:03:45] Yay!

[1:03:46] Yay!

[1:03:47] Yay!

[1:03:48] Yay!

[1:03:49] Yay!

[1:03:50] Yay!

[1:03:51] Yay!

[1:03:52] And I'm trying to think an acronym for this stuff that I've trapped you in.

[1:03:53] Oh.

[1:03:54] No!

[1:03:55] Does not compute!

[1:03:56] Does not compute!

[1:03:57] Doot-do-doot-doot.

[1:03:58] And I mean, there's smoke coming out of me, and sparks, and you've got.

[1:03:59] I feel like I had a few sparks and smoke sound effects.

[1:04:00] Yeah, and you guys run out just as the building explodes.

[1:04:01] That is an explosion sound effect.

[1:04:02] hon.

[1:04:03] Urgh.

[1:04:04] Yew!

[1:04:05] Ugh.

[1:04:06] And now you've won the day.

[1:04:07] Except.

[1:04:08] Camera pans down to your phone, where there's a little Winking Me GIF that, uh-oh.

[1:04:09] Have I.

[1:04:10] Have I.

[1:04:11] Reproduced myself?

[1:04:12] No, no.

[1:04:13] Do I fall?

[1:04:14] We've got a little stinker on our hands.

[1:04:15] Yeah.

[1:04:16] The end?

[1:04:17] Question mark.

[1:04:18] Well, that was this week's Flophouse Mini.

[1:04:19] Thanks, guys, for playing these super dumb games.

[1:04:21] Thanks, everybody, for listening to our super dumb games.

[1:04:24] Please rate or review this show if you like it.

[1:04:26] Go to, you know, your podcast app or whatever, and give us a five-star rating.

[1:04:31] Tell people that you like us so other people can find us.

[1:04:34] We are, of course, a Maximum Fun Podcast.

[1:04:36] I'd like to thank the Maximum Fun Network.

[1:04:38] Go to MaximumFun.org for other great podcasts that are kind of like ours, but also kind

[1:04:43] of not like ours, and some that are not like ours at all.

[1:04:46] And some that, well, there's none just like ours, except for us, the Flophouse.

[1:04:50] We are produced, of course, and edited by one Alex Smith.

[1:04:53] He goes under the name HowlDotty online.

[1:04:56] Please check out his work because he's great, and I'm sure he added all sorts of cool beeps

[1:05:00] and boops to this one that made it sound cool.

[1:05:03] Alex, why don't you add some beeps and boops to this one?

[1:05:06] If you would like to buy, let's say, like, Jumbotron space to advertise something on

[1:05:12] the podcast, or to just, you know, send a message to someone that you love to show them

[1:05:17] the power of love that defeats so many evil computers, just go to MaximumFun.org slash

[1:05:22] Jumbotron.

[1:05:23] And otherwise, please join us in Boston in July, or join us next week on another episode

[1:05:31] of the Flophouse.

[1:05:33] Until then, I remain the computer intelligence known as Elliot, evil, what was it?

[1:05:39] Evil liar loves tater tots.

[1:05:41] I don't know how to spell my name.

[1:05:43] And who have I been?

[1:05:44] Who have been my contestants slash players slash prisoners this week?

[1:05:47] I've been Dan.

[1:05:50] Don't answer now.

[1:05:55] That was terrible.

[1:05:56] I'm sorry.

[1:05:57] You know, I already checked out.

[1:05:58] Sorry.

[1:05:59] And I've been Stu, simulation technology user.

[1:06:06] Well, that's really good.

[1:06:08] Excellent.

[1:06:09] That's great.

[1:06:10] Until then, everybody, make sure you're not living in a computer world right now, or if

[1:06:14] you are living in a computer world, make the most of it.

[1:06:17] Do something fun today.

[1:06:18] Enjoy that computer world stuff.

[1:06:20] And we'll see you next time.

[1:06:22] Bye.

[1:06:23] Beep boop.

[1:06:24] Beep boop.

[1:06:31] Here we are.

[1:06:32] The Flophouse 3.

[1:06:33] That should be our new jingle.

[1:06:36] That should be our lyrics.

[1:06:37] Alex, loop that.

[1:06:38] That's our new jingle.

[1:06:39] Alex, that's our new jingle.

[1:06:40] Loop that shit out.

[1:06:41] Loop it.

[1:06:42] Don't even bother to do another take, Dan.

[1:06:43] That was perfect.

[1:06:44] That was perfect.

[1:06:45] You just recorded your first number one hit.

[1:06:50] Maximum fun.

[1:06:51] A worker owned network.

[1:06:53] A network of artists owned shows.

[1:06:55] Supported directly by you.

FH Mini 104 - Computer Games

Transcript

Description