Ep.#436 - Dear David, with Hallie Haglund

[0:00] Hi, floppers, before we start this episode,

[0:02] I just wanted to remind you,

[0:03] we are in the middle of Flop TV season two.

[0:06] That's right, the one hour internet televised

[0:08] Flop House TV show is here for you

[0:11] the first Saturday of every month through February.

[0:14] Just go to theflophouse.simpletics.com

[0:16] and get your tickets or season pass

[0:18] for this all new Flop House TV stuff.

[0:21] We're covering movies we've never covered before.

[0:23] We've got video segments.

[0:25] It's amazing.

[0:26] Just go to theflophouse.simpletics.com

[0:28] for Flop TV season two.

[0:31] This time, it's personal.

[0:33] On this episode, we discuss Dear David.

[0:36] I've heard of a Dear John, but Dear David is ridiculous.

[0:42] I was thinking of a Dear John thing, too,

[0:43] just because I know it's one of Hallie's favorite shows.

[0:45] Oh, it is.

[0:46] It's so good.

[0:47] It's so good.

[0:47] Mm.

[0:48] Mm.

[0:49] Mm.

[0:50] Mm.

[0:51] Mm.

[0:52] Mm.

[0:53] Mm.

[0:54] Mm.

[0:55] Mm.

[0:56] Mm.

[0:57] Mm.

[0:59] Mm.

[1:00] Mm.

[1:01] Mm.

[1:02] Mm.

[1:03] Mm.

[1:04] Mm.

[1:05] Mm.

[1:06] Mm.

[1:07] Mm.

[1:08] Mm.

[1:09] Mm.

[1:10] Hey, everyone, and welcome to the Flop House.

[1:12] I'm Dan McCoy.

[1:13] Oh, hey there, Dan.

[1:14] It's me, Stuart Wellington.

[1:15] Well, howdy, folks.

[1:17] It's me, Elliott Kalen.

[1:20] I don't see you much around these parts.

[1:23] I'm Hallie Hudson.

[1:24] You do.

[1:25] Perfect.

[1:26] No, no.

[1:27] You did it.

[1:28] You did it.

[1:28] I love that you got so caught up in the character

[1:31] that you forgot the objective of the line.

[1:34] Yeah.

[1:35] I lost myself in it.

[1:36] That's what happens.

[1:37] Yeah.

[1:38] Yeah.

[1:38] I mean, it reminded me of when I would go into Hallie's office

[1:41] and after a while, she'd go, go on, get, get.

[1:45] Go on now, get.

[1:45] And start poking me with the stick she had there.

[1:50] Hey, this is a podcast.

[1:53] Hey, this is a podcast where we.

[1:56] Guys, what?

[1:57] Did you guys see that Reba McEntire's new show out?

[1:59] I did.

[2:00] I saw ads for it in the New York City subway.

[2:02] Wasn't it called again?

[2:03] It's like so-and-so's place, right?

[2:05] Guys, it's called Happy's Place.

[2:07] That's right.

[2:08] And I'm conflicted because I, of course,

[2:10] want more Reba McEntire TV shows.

[2:12] But the problem is, is growing up,

[2:14] there was a local kid's show

[2:17] where a, like a clown hobo character

[2:21] and his frog sidekick introduced cartoons, basically.

[2:25] It was called Happy's Place.

[2:26] He was happy, the hobo.

[2:28] And so I can't see these ads and not be like,

[2:30] what, this feels like stolen valor, Reba.

[2:34] I was.

[2:34] I mean, she does play a hobo that introduced cartoons.

[2:38] That's not a Reba McEntire song, Hallie.

[2:40] I was hoping.

[2:41] No, no, no.

[2:42] Reba McEntire, you know what they say, Jolene.

[2:47] Introducing the podcast.

[2:49] Should've been a cowboy, am I right?

[2:54] This is a podcast.

[2:55] Wasn't Don who made Honky Tonk Angels, right, Reba?

[2:57] Mm-hmm, yep.

[2:58] Folsom Prison Blues.

[3:00] Yeah.

[3:01] This is a Reba McEntire podcast.

[3:02] Living in America, right, Reba?

[3:04] Don't even, like, I love the show Reba.

[3:07] I watch the shit out of it.

[3:09] But I still, like, to this day,

[3:10] I can't get over how, like,

[3:12] self-aggrandizing the opening credit song is.

[3:15] It's like, you know, she's a single mom.

[3:17] Wake up in the morning with a cup of ambition?

[3:19] No, you're messing up my bit, Elliot.

[3:21] Sorry.

[3:22] It's okay.

[3:23] You know, she's a single mom who works too hard.

[3:25] I got Elliot to apologize, by the way.

[3:27] I know, it didn't work when I tried to shut you down.

[3:30] She's a single mom who works too hard.

[3:31] She loves her kids and she'll never stop,

[3:34] you know, like, giving hands on the heart of a fighter.

[3:36] I'm a survivor.

[3:37] But I'm like, have you watched the show?

[3:38] She's, like, kind of a jerk to everybody.

[3:41] I mean, she, you know, but fair is fair.

[3:43] What if she was a man, Stuart?

[3:46] Actually, you got me.

[3:47] Okay, lock me up.

[3:48] Yeah, what if she was Heba McIntyre?

[3:50] You would not have this problem.

[3:52] Lock me up.

[3:53] You'd say, what a strong, dominating man.

[3:56] Guys, take me away.

[3:57] And as again, because it's Friday,

[3:59] I won't get out until Monday.

[4:00] So I deserve, I guess.

[4:01] So, Dan, what do we do on this podcast

[4:03] other than talk about Stuart's specific grievances

[4:05] over the Reba McIntyre theme song?

[4:08] I can't say it at home, but there's almost a spit take.

[4:12] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie

[4:14] and then we talk about it.

[4:16] Normally, it's just us three knuckleheads,

[4:19] but we're glad to have Halle back for-

[4:21] Star of the show, yeah.

[4:22] Halleween, the spooky season.

[4:25] Wow, branding it, right?

[4:26] It's both the spookiest

[4:27] and most adorable time of the year.

[4:29] Yeah, we are deep into Shocktober,

[4:32] and so we're watching horror movies,

[4:34] and this time we-

[4:35] Where are we?

[4:35] Yeah, well, this one's questionable.

[4:38] This felt like- It counts, it counts.

[4:39] A long PSA about bullying, maybe.

[4:43] This was called Dear David.

[4:45] Guys, real quick, do you think we're gonna get

[4:48] haunted by a ghost that makes us pee our pants

[4:50] for making fun of this movie?

[4:52] Oh, no, I didn't think about that.

[4:55] We're all kind of approaching that age

[4:56] where we're gonna be peeing our pants anyway.

[4:58] Yeah, I feel like at this point, I'm like,

[5:00] okay, well, this is different.

[5:01] I haven't done this in a long time.

[5:02] Guys, I have two children.

[5:04] I pee when I go for a run.

[5:07] I mean, I push them out of my body.

[5:08] Yeah, yeah, you're still carrying around

[5:11] the damage of human reproduction.

[5:12] Exactly.

[5:13] Meanwhile, your husband, his penis hasn't changed

[5:16] noticeably, as far as I can tell.

[5:16] His penis only leaks when it's diseased.

[5:19] He pees his pants just for fun at this point.

[5:21] Yeah.

[5:23] Yeah, just for the challenge.

[5:26] A lot going on.

[5:27] So, Dear David, this is from BuzzFeed Studios,

[5:31] and that's not a joke.

[5:32] That's the thing.

[5:33] This is a movie about a BuzzFeed writer

[5:37] based on a BuzzFeed writer's-

[5:38] Based on a true story, Dan.

[5:40] It's based on a true Twitter thread.

[5:41] Based on a true Twitter thread

[5:43] about a haunted apartment.

[5:44] Well, I liked Zola,

[5:46] and that was based on a Twitter thread.

[5:47] Is this the thing?

[5:48] Yeah, but the thing is, Zola, I'm sure there was-

[5:51] Does this movie also feature a montage of penises?

[5:54] I'm sure there was some level of embellishment

[5:57] in the film Zola, but that was grounded-

[5:59] I mean, the life of Emile Zola was nothing like that.

[6:03] It was grounded in our reality,

[6:05] whereas this movie has a kid appearing in dreams

[6:10] and doing monster things.

[6:12] It specifically says it's based on a true story,

[6:14] and I'm like, okay, I guess we got fucking evidence

[6:17] that ghosts exist.

[6:19] Yeah, it's true. Dear David did it.

[6:21] I mean, it's not even the first ghost movie

[6:23] to say it was based on a true story.

[6:26] Amityville Horror has been pretending

[6:27] to be based on a true story for almost 20 years now.

[6:30] We're still allowed to make fun of it, Ellie.

[6:32] You can't lie on Twitter, everything on Twitter.

[6:36] It's all true.

[6:36] You would get a community note if it was wrong.

[6:38] I have a real question.

[6:40] Hallie Haglund, the Daily Show with Jon Stewart?

[6:42] Yes.

[6:43] Which part of this was actually,

[6:47] like how much, it was the Twitter thread

[6:49] while he was tweeting, but was a guy really tweeting,

[6:53] like, my apartment is being haunted,

[6:56] here are the things I'm doing?

[6:57] Like, which part of it was part of the story?

[7:00] I don't know.

[7:01] I did not care enough to research.

[7:02] Dan, you're using like Encyclopedia Brown over here, so.

[7:04] No, I mean, I did limited research on this.

[7:07] I think that the, I think it's based on a true story

[7:11] in that this guy tweeted that he was being haunted

[7:14] by a ghost kid in his apartment,

[7:17] and he said that some of these things.

[7:19] They should have called this movie Ghost Kid.

[7:20] Happened, like his cats would act weird,

[7:22] and like a chair would move and stuff.

[7:24] Yeah, because cats are totally normal.

[7:26] And it became a popular thread,

[7:29] and I think that that is all what is true.

[7:32] And they didn't change his name,

[7:34] and I'm assuming in reality his boss

[7:36] isn't played by Justin Long.

[7:38] And they didn't change his comics to better comics.

[7:41] Are those the actual comics?

[7:42] Can I be a bully for a second?

[7:44] Can I be a bully for a second?

[7:45] Yeah. Just for a second.

[7:47] Wait, guys, we're entering the bully zone.

[7:49] This is the one place where it's okay to be a bully

[7:51] after you leave the bully zone.

[7:52] It's a safe space to be a bully.

[7:53] Thank you, thank you.

[7:54] Finally a safe space for bullying.

[7:55] I'm not a fan of this guy's art style.

[7:57] No.

[7:58] I'm not a fan of the style and the content,

[8:01] which is like stripped down cartoons as memes

[8:05] or like Twitter jokes style.

[8:07] Yeah, nothing appeared to be funny in these cartoons,

[8:11] and they seem to be sort of the, I mean.

[8:14] This is a bully zone.

[8:15] He can say whatever he wants.

[8:16] It's the bully zone.

[8:17] Yes, we are in the bully zone.

[8:18] It's lazy.

[8:18] There were lazy, like repeated frames of just like,

[8:22] you know, like he has this digital art,

[8:23] and then he would just like double up on the,

[8:24] I don't know, I just didn't like it.

[8:26] Like, I'm willing to accept that, you know,

[8:28] not all art is for me, you know.

[8:30] I should be because I'm a straight, white, middle-aged man.

[8:34] All art should cater to my experience.

[8:37] You are the default basic prototype of a human, sure.

[8:39] No, we, okay, we should get out of the bully zone

[8:41] because we'll get a ghost kid after us.

[8:44] Yeah, we don't want a ghost kid after us.

[8:45] I will say while we're still in the bully zone,

[8:46] yeah, comics are more about a recognizable feeling

[8:50] than they are a joke,

[8:51] and that maybe translates better

[8:53] when you are scrolling through a feed online

[8:56] than when it is being shown full frame in a movie.

[9:00] Yeah.

[9:00] I found it very hard to read.

[9:02] There was a lot of reading involved in watching this movie.

[9:06] Yeah, this movie was almost a book.

[9:07] It went by very fast.

[9:08] I didn't read half of the comics.

[9:10] I couldn't, it was hard for me.

[9:13] There was a lot of comments scrolling along the screen,

[9:15] a lot of tweets being put up on screen.

[9:16] And I'm like, what is this,

[9:17] a production of Dear Evan Hansen?

[9:20] I apologize for being mean about it.

[9:21] I think it's because I went-

[9:23] You're being mean, you're in the bully zone.

[9:24] Well, we got out of there.

[9:25] We, you know, like-

[9:26] Oh shit, okay.

[9:27] Guys, it was a trick.

[9:28] We left the bully zone a minute ago.

[9:30] Oh my God.

[9:31] I said so many horrible things.

[9:33] And torrible things.

[9:34] Yeah, things about George Johnson, yeah.

[9:37] No, I went and I looked for comics

[9:39] by the actual guy to just confirm that these are-

[9:41] Are you stalking him, Dan?

[9:43] I just was curious, like, are these the actual comics?

[9:46] And they were, you know, like, it's the same stuff.

[9:48] I mean, I've seen these around before.

[9:50] Yeah.

[9:51] Look, if they can use the real Freddie Mercury audio tracks

[9:54] in Bohemian Rhapsody,

[9:56] then they can use his real comics in the movie.

[9:57] The actor doesn't have to redraw the comics, Dan.

[10:00] It's okay to reuse them, you know, I mean, especially because this is put out again, but BuzzFeed Studios. Yes, they are

[10:05] They're like, well, what do we what do we have? What do we have long around? I think I think this guy

[10:11] Have they done anything else yes quest they have yeah, I don't know what else to call the movie and

[10:21] They were doing an Amazon show weren't they about the Hulk Hogan thing, but then it never right put on the air

[10:28] Yeah, maybe uh, I think the brutalist is from

[10:32] From both I'm not sure about infinity pool of BuzzFeed Studios. Yeah, Dan. I'm not sure about other movies

[10:40] I know that um, I mean was that a BuzzFeed movie. There's a TV show

[10:49] Yeah, there's a TV show called worth it that Audrey watched for a while that's about food that uh, that was a BuzzFeed Studios

[10:56] Okay

[10:58] Gross from what the I'm guessing the I could be wrong

[11:01] But the implication to me from just the title is whether or not this food that is probably unhealthy for you is worth

[11:08] No, okay. You're actually wrong. They know they go to they they have

[11:15] similar food, although sometimes they stretch the definition of like what's the same kind of

[11:20] No, like they stretch what is the same food, but they they eat food at different price points

[11:27] And they're like, okay, like this is this is great cheap fried chicken

[11:31] This is like the fancy like like consumer can like what's worth it here. Like what's the best that we had?

[11:37] You know, it's it's like a zippy like I think it's like a 15 minute. It's it's fine now

[11:42] Obviously, I'll make two points. Obviously, we have a lot to say about dear David. We're just with

[11:47] But also obviously if anyone from BuzzFeed Studios is listening we would be happy to do work for you in exchange for money

[11:55] So don't take this don't take this us feeling like we're superior. We're just trying to get the word out about your studios

[12:01] Yeah, yeah consider this. No press is bad press. All press is good. This is promotion. You're working for exposure right now

[12:10] Let's talk about the movie dear David, shall we so we start with a title that explains that in

[12:15] 2017 that's right. Everybody. We're going back in time seven whole you gotta go back in time

[12:20] I did it did it do to

[12:23] 2017 a more innocent time when the president was a madman as opposed to living in a time where the president is just an old

[12:29] man and

[12:31] Adam Ellis is

[12:34] Gary Oldman

[12:39] He disappears into a character

[12:41] Yeah, could be him that's true like a Dave type situation

[12:46] Dear David type situation. Anyway, okay

[12:48] It says that in 2017 Adam Ellis documented strange happenings on Twitter and it became a viral sensation

[12:55] I of course am an old man. So I was not aware of this viral sensation until I saw the movie

[13:00] But do you think they were playing I'm naming the sequel to this movie meet Dave and they're like fuck that movie

[13:05] Yeah

[13:08] Probably yeah, what if we called it David Duchovny? No, that's a person

[13:13] We're gonna do the sequel was gonna be meet Dave

[13:18] You don't really meet him much. Yeah, that's the thing. Well, we're not introduced to him. I go back to me

[13:23] Yeah, no, I'm with Stewart on this one. Maybe it's just cuz he's wearing glasses now

[13:27] Anyway, the year but then we don't go to 2017 we go to

[13:31] 1996 New York City and a guy who runs a store of some kind. He's super excited about the Internet

[13:37] he feels like there's so much potential there for the future because tens of millions of people are using the Internet and

[13:45] And their son David loves computers. He's always in the basement

[13:49] Was it even I don't even think it was a million people. I think he was like

[13:55] 900,000 people are on the Internet. Oh, I thought he said like 39 million people. I can't remember

[13:59] Maybe I only this is only one way to solve it. We got to watch to hear David again

[14:03] One of the strangest things in a strange

[14:06] I mean, this is a thin movie, but has some very strange stuff in it that and in this year of our Lord

[14:12] They think that they have to promote the idea that the Internet is huge

[14:17] Like this feels like a leftover from like fear calm or something

[14:21] We're like where they're flashing back and they're like there's gonna be so many people

[14:26] Online and our kid is obsessed with it

[14:29] I think they're I think they're trying to establish the idea that David and his family are like early adopters of the Internet

[14:35] But it also again does not seem like you need to do that

[14:38] It seems totally unnecessary

[14:39] But you also learn that David's mom is not happy about the stuff that she is being exposed to

[14:45] Online he does she doesn't like that

[14:47] He that David is sitting in the basement with no lights on bathed only in the glow of the screen

[14:53] Black void this giant monitor glow and he's like a kind of a pale creepy kid classic kind of horror movie creepy kid and

[15:00] David post like a picture that he drew I guess which almost instantly online trolls start insulting him and then say why don't you kill yourself?

[15:08] That's the end of this chilling scene because I hate to break it

[15:12] You know, they're really mean about that picture cuz like yeah, I mean

[15:17] Yeah, and the other thing is it's like it's better than P that your art

[15:22] Caused a reaction, you know, it's better than if they just scrolled past didn't care

[15:26] I mean David should have just typed back. Hey, you're talking about it, aren't you? Yeah

[15:30] Yeah, it's this is what Andy Warhol went through

[15:37] Goes to any Warhol

[15:38] I feel like this gets really muddy later in the movie where then like

[15:43] David is made out to be some sort of demon creature that

[15:47] People he's a vengeful. He becomes a vengeful spirit, you know as so happens like one of those sadako's

[15:52] Yeah, but we're left. We're all left with the assumption

[15:55] Oh, he must have been driven to suicide from trolling and that's why but that's not what happens in the movie

[16:01] Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He doesn't become a vengeful spirit. He appears to have been something beforehand, but we'll get to it

[16:06] Yeah, anyway, that's that's the end of that now. It's 2017 and I like the lesson

[16:12] They're doing here is it's not the Internet was a nice place and it was ruined by trolls

[16:15] They were always there like that. They were the first ones, you know

[16:19] Now it's 2017 again and there's this guy Adam he is addicted to his phone

[16:24] He's commuting from Queens to Manhattan to the BuzzFeed offices

[16:27] He cannot get his face off of this phone

[16:29] The only time he stops is when he's underground on the subway because this 2017 it hasn't been wired for Wi-Fi in the subway yet

[16:34] I was just in New York City. They solved that problem. Everyone's glued to their phones while they're in the tunnel, too

[16:39] It's really a better way to live right guys

[16:42] Well, I was complaining because his busking didn't earn him much money

[16:48] Showtime and flippin

[16:50] Used to be an era when you walked into somebody and you started show time show time press play on a boombox and then almost

[16:55] Kicked people in the face. They would notice and now they don't even notice anymore. Have you ever seen somebody get kicked?

[16:59] I've never seen someone get kicked. I've seen video of it, but I've never actually seen it in person

[17:03] Yeah, I've seen I feel that's fake news then I will I want to say like

[17:08] You know if you have to take the subway long distances

[17:10] I say God bless having phones and it's not wired for Wi-Fi as much as I would like. There's still plenty of

[17:18] Dead spots. Yeah. All right. Yeah, it's just there's a thing called a book

[17:24] I read books on my phone. I read I have the Libby app

[17:28] Fair. Yeah, that's mostly what I do on my phone these days. Okay, that's fair point

[17:32] You know what? As long as you're reading books on your phone Dan, I'm okay with it

[17:34] But you know, what about like short-form erotica?

[17:40] Compile enough

[17:41] the inside out

[17:43] video game

[17:46] Yeah, you shoot memories that other memories to eliminate like in the movie

[17:50] Yeah, just like in the Martin Dupont song inside out. Okay. Anyway, so this guy's addicted to his phone. He works at BuzzFeed

[17:57] It's okay. He's a cartoonist

[18:05] So, uh, he's a cartoonist and he's there all these trolls being like your art sucks and his co-workers are like don't respond to them

[18:12] Don't engage with trolls. Don't do it

[18:14] I feel like the majority of people are like, oh man, so real or like I love this

[18:18] But then there will be like one person will say something and it'll really stick in his craw

[18:23] Way, ain't that the way people?

[18:26] You think it would be easy to just ignore that but then you see you like a let's call him man decoy

[18:31] Who has a lot of trouble engaging with people online who create even the smallest

[18:38] Again this is a totally hypothetical person. So Dan's gonna choke you until you pee your pants

[18:45] Now that I'm medicated I've better emotional regulation, you know executive function it's all it's all it's all going up for old man decoy

[18:56] And so

[18:57] Adams boss Justin Long in a role that we have to assume was shot over the course of a day

[19:02] Maybe a day and a half in one location

[19:05] But I will say also the most fun thing in the movie in my opinion by far

[19:09] The movie comes to life during the four minutes or so scattered through the film that he's on screen. Yeah. Yeah

[19:16] Is he supposed to be Jonah Peretti?

[19:19] Is that a BuzzFeed person? Yeah, are they related to Chelsea Peretti? Yes, they're brother and sister

[19:25] Big

[19:27] Like mogul who like we bought them each an internet site people had a rich dad

[19:36] Well, yeah, I think no, I gotta look it up

[19:41] Worried about

[19:43] Writing this information. Well, I'm gonna be in the bully zone. We might as well get our facts

[19:47] No, the thing is we're not in the bully zone

[19:49] But we haven't yet gotten to the to the astroturf zone where you can just kind of say made-up stuff

[19:54] You know, yeah right now. We're in the woolly bully zone. Oh

[20:00] Hattie about it.

[20:01] Yeah.

[20:02] This thing I saw.

[20:03] No, I'm right.

[20:04] I'm right.

[20:05] I'm right.

[20:06] Okay.

[20:07] Yeah.

[20:08] Yeah.

[20:09] Dan, what's this?

[20:10] That song's literally about just seeing a really wooly bull.

[20:11] Right?

[20:12] Uh, let's see.

[20:13] Well, the lyrics, I think.

[20:14] Like a Highland cow.

[20:15] Wooly bully.

[20:18] Those are the only lyrics I recall about.

[20:19] No, it's about a thingy saw.

[20:20] It had two big somethings and a wooly jaw.

[20:21] And then they danced.

[20:22] Okay.

[20:23] Well, now I got to check this out.

[20:24] You got to do some research on this one.

[20:25] Yeah.

[20:26] That'll give me time to talk about it.

[20:27] The movie.

[20:28] So Justin Long is like, Adam, your reach is not enough.

[20:29] Uh, and we, your, your humor needs to be more about the painful aspects of life.

[20:30] It needs to be more painfully truthful.

[20:31] And Adam's like, Oh, I'm going to lose my job.

[20:32] If I don't, if I don't do the, in this cutthroat world of online cartooning at Buzzfeed, if

[20:33] I don't get my reach.

[20:34] And he complains to his boyfriend, whose name is Kyle, Kevin, Kyle.

[20:35] Kyle.

[20:36] And, uh, and all Adam ever talks about in this movie is either his wife or his son-in-law.

[20:37] And he's like, Oh, I'm going to lose my job.

[20:41] Kyle.

[20:42] And, uh, and all Adam ever talks about in this movie is either his wife or his son-in-law.

[20:43] And he's like, Oh, I'm going to lose my job.

[20:47] Kyle.

[20:48] And, uh, and all Adam ever talks about in this movie is either his job or ghosts.

[20:49] And Kyle, meanwhile, is like, Hey, can I meet your parents?

[20:50] Hey, uh, my mom is having surgery.

[20:51] And Adam is, my mom is having a hysterectomy.

[20:52] And, uh, and he goes, Hey, I want to meet your mom.

[20:54] And, uh, and all Adam ever talks about in this movie is either his job or ghosts.

[20:58] And Kyle, meanwhile, is like, Hey, can I meet your parents?

[21:02] Hey, uh, my mom is having surgery.

[21:04] And Adam is, my mom is having a hysterectomy.

[21:07] And, uh, and he goes, Hey, I want to meet your mom.

[21:09] And Adam goes, my mom is too crazy.

[21:10] Guys, guys, this is, this is, I'm sorry.

[21:13] This is very important.

[21:14] I think I need to do a dramatic reading of the lyrics to Willy Billy.

[21:17] Not the whole thing.

[21:18] Cause it's a, but I'll, I'll go up through the first crazy.

[21:21] Yeah.

[21:22] I'll go up through the first chorus.

[21:23] Here we go.

[21:24] Uno, dos, one, two, tres, quatro, I Willy Billy.

[21:30] Watch it now.

[21:32] Watch it.

[21:33] Here he comes.

[21:34] Here he comes.

[21:36] Watch it.

[21:37] Now he gets, uh, Maddie told Hattie about the thing.

[21:41] She saw had two big horns and a wooly jaw.

[21:48] Yeah.

[21:54] You could write a hit song about anything back there.

[21:57] Do you think that they wrote the lyrics for that first?

[22:00] And they just directly defined the right melody.

[22:04] A perfect melody for this.

[22:06] Yeah.

[22:07] It's actually a poem set to music.

[22:08] Yeah.

[22:09] Yeah.

[22:10] Yeah.

[22:11] I was trying to explain oldies music to, uh, to my son.

[22:12] And I was like, yeah, you don't have a lot of songs now where someone with a deep voice

[22:16] is just going in the background and then goes, yeah, at different points.

[22:22] He's like, did they used to do that?

[22:23] He goes, they, people loved it.

[22:24] They loved it.

[22:25] Yeah.

[22:26] Yeah.

[22:27] Yeah.

[22:28] Let me introduce you to the works of Cypress Hill.

[22:29] Yeah.

[22:30] That when I was talking about all these with him, that's he's like, and he's like, that's

[22:37] impossible, daddy.

[22:38] You can't be insane in both the brain and the membrane.

[22:42] It happened.

[22:43] That song is based on a true story.

[22:44] Speaking of based on a true story, dear David.

[22:47] So anyway, um, these two teams, we cut away to two teams.

[22:50] They are trolling people online.

[22:52] It is so cartoonish.

[22:53] The dialogue is so after school special.

[22:55] Hey man, I don't think we should do that.

[22:57] Come on.

[22:58] Don't you want to be funny?

[22:59] And they, they, I like when he's like, Oh, I'm sick of this.

[23:02] I'm going to go watch Riverdale.

[23:04] Yeah.

[23:05] They might.

[23:06] They do say that.

[23:07] They literally said, uh, they got to place it in time, you know, they might as well have

[23:10] been being like, we're in the bully zone.

[23:12] We can bully here.

[23:15] On the internet.

[23:16] Nobody knows you're a dog, dude.

[23:17] Like we can be bullies here, but they're contacting.

[23:19] Yeah.

[23:20] That weren't this important.

[23:21] Cause this is where we learned the ghost rules.

[23:23] This is where I meet dear David.

[23:24] Dear David is a profile that reaches out.

[23:26] He will answer two questions, but not three.

[23:28] And then, uh, they're mean to him and he warns them that, uh, that he goes, how am I going

[23:32] to die?

[23:33] And he goes, or whatever.

[23:34] And he goes, you're going to die wetting yourself in bed.

[23:36] And he's like, Oh, Oh, whatever.

[23:38] That night.

[23:39] Uh, Adam is out at drinks with his, with his friends.

[23:42] It comes out that he forgot that his boyfriend is going out of town to help his mom through

[23:45] his direct to me operation.

[23:46] I mean, that's, that's shitty partner behavior.

[23:49] Honestly.

[23:50] Adam is a bad boyfriend.

[23:51] The whole movie.

[23:52] He's written.

[23:53] He does not deserve to win that.

[23:55] And Kevin Kyle seems to be such a, um, such a nice guy, you know, so thoughtful.

[24:01] He deserves better than Adam.

[24:03] That is for sure.

[24:04] The thing is some, some guys will invent crazy ghost stories just to get out of going to

[24:07] therapy.

[24:08] You know?

[24:09] Exactly.

[24:10] Yeah.

[24:11] Well, literally invent crazy ghost stories.

[24:14] Well, you know, later on, uh, David puts a grinder back on his phone to like break them

[24:20] up.

[24:21] And I was like, wouldn't it be wild if he made this whole thing up just as an excuse,

[24:24] like, uh, no, a ghost put grinder on the hair.

[24:27] I swear I'm not back on grinder.

[24:28] It was a ghost.

[24:29] Well, I better, I better lay the groundwork.

[24:31] I better, I better start pretending I'm being haunted just in case Kyle finds my phone and

[24:35] sees that grinder is still on it.

[24:37] Also the idea that David, the, the, uh, 1996 kid ghost is like, I'm going to get him.

[24:44] I'm going to put grinder on.

[24:45] Also the idea that I'm, I'm sorry if Kyle saw him on grinder, that means Kyle was on

[24:51] grinder.

[24:52] He says that a friend of his son, which means that Kyle was looking at grinder, but he was

[24:56] away from home helping his mom through an eusterectomy and he just needed to like lose

[25:00] himself physically for a moment.

[25:01] He needs to leave his body by expressing his body with a stranger.

[25:05] We don't know what agreement they have.

[25:07] Celebrate his ability to still conceive, to still spill his seed.

[25:14] Exactly.

[25:15] Yeah.

[25:16] Because his mom lost, he needs to, he needs to catch it.

[25:19] That's why you're not a doctor.

[25:22] Howie I've got that news.

[25:26] It's about your seed catcher.

[25:27] What?

[25:28] I don't want to be a urologist.

[25:31] Don't worry.

[25:32] We've done tests.

[25:33] You should still be able to spill your seed.

[25:34] What?

[25:35] Hallie Hallie Hagland, biblical urologist.

[25:39] Well, anyway, guys, get ready.

[25:44] It's about to start laughing.

[25:45] Stop laughing and start screaming because we have our first real scare scene where that

[25:49] bully that was bullying dear David online, he's lying in bed, suddenly a ghostly hand

[25:53] just kind of shoves itself in his mouth and is choking him and he wets himself and he

[25:57] dies.

[25:58] Even that ghostly a hand, the first scare of the thing is just like literally a hand

[26:03] comes out from outside.

[26:04] When I first saw it, I thought it was his own hand.

[26:06] I thought that hand was scary.

[26:08] I, I, I said, that's what I did.

[26:11] Yeah.

[26:12] It is the scariest thing in the movie.

[26:13] That's for sure.

[26:14] But you're scared of hands, Hallie.

[26:15] That's the thing.

[26:17] Crippling fear.

[26:18] Whenever people accidentally call you Hallie Handland, you go, give me away from me.

[26:24] There are five worms on the end of my arm.

[26:26] Oh no, I found myself in the glove department.

[26:31] How do I escape?

[26:34] Well, Hallie, I made some hamburger helper for dinner.

[26:39] So that night, Adam, he's, he's lonely.

[26:42] He's depressed.

[26:43] He engages with some trolls.

[26:44] Ah!

[26:45] A mouse!

[26:46] But the kind you use for a computer.

[26:47] Because your hand uses it.

[26:48] Use your hand.

[26:49] So anyway, that night, Adam engages with some trolls.

[26:54] He calls a torrent of memes, uh, saying die in a fire, which gets dear David's, uh, attention,

[27:00] which again, is this supposed to be a red herring?

[27:02] The idea that maybe David died in a fire that that's not what happened.

[27:05] But, uh, and dear David goes, why are you so mean?

[27:07] That's how he always starts.

[27:08] And Adam ignores that and goes to bed.

[27:12] The next day he sees a chair rocking on its own in his room.

[27:17] And then I do like that he's, he, he sets up his, uh, his own bedroom.

[27:21] Like it's a, uh, hotel room that just has a single chair pointing at the bed.

[27:24] Yeah.

[27:25] Just in a corner points at the bed.

[27:26] Then, uh, he sees a news story.

[27:29] Well, that's for the cucking.

[27:30] And I'll send you to sleep after the cucking with a song I wrote just for you.

[27:40] Um, he sees a news story about a teen found dead in his bed.

[27:43] The next night he is obsessed with reading replies to his work again.

[27:48] It's all he cares about.

[27:49] What's his reach?

[27:50] What does he think?

[27:51] Uh, he has an ominous walk home.

[27:52] And now while sleeping again, the rocking chair starts rocking and he briefly glimpses

[27:56] a ghost boy in the chair, Hallie, no, I was eating a salad, the first, the least scary

[28:03] thing.

[28:04] So you felt protected.

[28:07] You felt like you were doing something good for your bowels.

[28:09] Uh, so at work he hears a buzzing and he seems to have been, uh, he's being fed a buzz and

[28:17] he seems to have been transported to the old store from the beginning with a mom.

[28:22] Bodega.

[28:23] I think we can say it was a bodega.

[28:24] It was a bodega.

[28:25] I guess it's a bodega.

[28:26] It looks more like a drug store.

[28:27] It looks like a bodega to me.

[28:29] All right.

[28:30] Well, we can agree to disagree.

[28:31] Let's call it a bodega.

[28:32] I mean, you're right.

[28:33] When I said store, that's a bodega is not a store.

[28:34] So that was a good correction.

[28:35] That was good.

[28:36] Yeah.

[28:37] Specificity.

[28:38] Yeah.

[28:39] Elliot.

[28:40] I prefer Spessa spin city.

[28:41] Sorry, Michael J Fox.

[28:42] What?

[28:43] I prefer specificity.

[28:44] So she cut her hair and then America fell out of love with her.

[28:56] Thank you.

[28:57] Not since Samson.

[28:58] Has someone's hair been such the key to their power?

[29:00] Yep.

[29:01] That's why they call Carrie Russell America's Samson.

[29:06] So at work, she was the face of Samsonite for a while.

[29:09] Yeah, it was.

[29:10] So she's been transported to the bodega where the mom is like, have you seen Dear David?

[29:15] Have you seen David?

[29:16] Ask him two questions, but don't ask him three questions.

[29:19] Then suddenly he's in Dear David's dark basement.

[29:21] He gets attacked and then he realizes he's back at his desk.

[29:23] Oh, what a chilling hallucination he's had.

[29:26] What a daydream.

[29:27] I get there's like they decided to include some rules.

[29:29] Don't be a bully and don't ask him more than two questions.

[29:33] It's pretty fucking lame, right?

[29:35] Like, yeah.

[29:36] Compared to like The Ring or like Candyman.

[29:39] I was wondering, Gremlins, you know, I look, I think it follows.

[29:46] I'll make an admission that if the film is less than compelling, sometimes I miss things.

[29:53] I was like, did I miss some reason why you can only ask two questions and there's no

[29:58] reason.

[30:00] told just because they've been told that was the rule yeah that's the thing i mean at least the

[30:03] thing about the bullying like makes sense there's a reason behind it but kind of makes sense but

[30:09] once you once you learn david's backstory it really doesn't make sense maybe david was super

[30:13] into japanese gift-giving ceremonies i feel like we don't actually know david's backstory we got

[30:21] a lot of versions of david's backstory oh so you're saying it's like a last year at marion

[30:26] type thing where like you figure out what's real and what's not real it's a real rashomon uh we've

[30:31] got some unreliable narrators in this that's for sure i feel like we've got some unreliable

[30:36] filmmakers in this one oh yeah you are you're in that smile you're in that you're in that devilish

[30:43] look right there yeah so uh that night there's a bunch of stuff he has his co-worker evelyn comes

[30:48] over to keep him company it doesn't matter they find a camera on the floor that i was not sure

[30:53] if that was something he owned or if it was like a ghostly appearing well what's for sure is the

[30:58] cats didn't want him to pick it up you remember no and the cats don't want him to pick up the

[31:01] camera this leads to nothing this yeah yeah it never comes back right no it never comes back

[31:06] unrelated adam researches david online and considers tweeting about his apartment being

[31:10] haunted but he's like i'm not going to do that and he ignores his boyfriend's messages but then

[31:15] he has a montage of like happier memories of being with his boyfriend and at this point i'm not quite

[31:21] sure why he's ignoring his boyfriend's messages except that he's a bad boyfriend i mean the message

[31:24] was really gross he she was he was he was just talking about how his mom couldn't take a shit

[31:30] because she was afraid she'd burst her stitches yeah but then all you have to write back is like

[31:34] oh that sucks you know something like that oh well poor mom i mean hello emoji d-i-a-f gif of uh of

[31:42] stephanie from the house going how rude you know yeah it seemed like he was just in like a flow

[31:46] state of like looking up ghost stuff he's like not now keith or what are you i'm busy kyle kyle

[31:53] kyle yeah uh so uh later that night does the rocking chair start moving again you better

[31:59] believe it and the ghost boy is like adam i'm just a follower and adam wakes up scared and then

[32:05] there's some scrabble tiles that have been arranged is this is the implication that david

[32:10] has moved is speaking to him that way too uh-huh it's like david figure out what your fucking thing

[32:14] is as a ghost like are you in a camera are you a rocking chair kid do you scrabble tile like what's

[32:19] your deal but he did he put d-i-a-f so it's back to the bullying thing yes it's back to the bully

[32:25] because it was all d-i-a-f memes earlier and he's back to that but it's even that david kind of

[32:30] loses this is my first this was my first interaction with this acronym i've never i've never heard so

[32:37] apparently it stands for dying of fire i'd never heard of it i mean the movie makes that pretty

[32:41] i mean is it a real thing i don't know did they just make it up hallie go to know your name

[32:47] don't i give fucks wait is that no no that doesn't work no die in oh d-d-d-i-a

[32:56] die a no it would have been enough oh no it's a real thing it's a real thing guys don't it

[33:02] so we're the ones who are out of touch yeah dan it's a fright

[33:10] sure is it sure is yeah it's so gonna be a fine

[33:20] oh i wish that's what it said

[33:24] so adam's like i gotta get away from this ghost so he moves all the way

[33:27] one floor up to the apartment above his own apartment this is y'all stupid thing to do

[33:32] new york city guys come on doesn't happen no it doesn't but also like the idea is like i

[33:36] gotta get away from this ghost luckily ghosts can't use stairs i think so ghosts are notoriously

[33:43] leaden and bound to the floor one thing i know it's like ghosts can't pass through

[33:47] walls or ceilings nope he's safe uh so he goes there he's like i'm really stressed out uh with

[33:53] this ghost and this potential breakup that's going on uh i think i'm going to do the most

[33:57] stressful thing possible and move apartments oh that's maybe that was his middle ground it's like

[34:03] well it'd be too stressful to really move but if i i can just move some boxes upstairs well that's

[34:07] the i wish the movie then showed that he had an overlapping month so he could just take his time

[34:11] moving stuff he didn't have to do it all in one day i mean that's the way to do it right yeah it's

[34:16] worth the money it's worth eating that extra month's rent just to not have the stress of it

[34:19] come on and just eat that rent just eat it just eat that just shove it in your mouth

[34:25] so uh he does it there uh the ghost uh of course follows him and he starts tweeting about this

[34:30] ghost and his boss loves it and he writes a buzzfeed article and his readers are like you

[34:35] should perform an exorcism so he and his co-worker kind of do a pretty half-assed exorcism and he

[34:40] tells his co-worker i've been avoiding calls from kyle because i don't know how to respond

[34:45] when he says i love you he keeps saying i love you and i just don't know what the proper response

[34:49] is to that it and you know i gotta say it is a half-assed exorcism on the other hand and i forgive

[34:55] me because i'm not catholic they do manage to get get one of those things that you know has smoke

[35:01] that comes out of it a sensor swing around yeah yeah so they they they went to that trouble they

[35:06] do get a sensor and like a holy water dispenser too right yeah so they went to a they went all

[35:11] the way to a church supply store what do you where do you get that yeah yeah christ co yeah that's

[35:16] you gotta go to the vatican for that i don't know they cut out the scene where he flies to

[35:19] the vatican to ask the holy father i mean i haven't seen a catholic version but i see like

[35:25] down the street from my apartment there's like judaica stores i mean sure the jewish so i'm

[35:30] assuming there's a catholic version of that 100 of course there has to be they don't make it

[35:35] themselves you know you gotta buy don't make those uh you know uh offer tori plates yeah you need

[35:41] that offer a tori yeah for your for your offerings i just never heard the word offeratory

[35:46] tithes you got a time yeah when you got a tithe you gotta tie this

[35:56] uh so uh imagining instead of the got milk campaign it's the catholic church and their

[36:03] advent got tithes and it's just different silly little scenarios where somebody has

[36:08] over there yeah yeah all the kids today are talking about

[36:12] tide pods why aren't they talking tithe bowl

[36:19] it's a hot new craze that's sweeping the internet tithing a tenth of your of your wages to the

[36:25] church kids are love it's called the tithe challenge unfortunately kids don't have that

[36:35] much of the way of wages so it's not that effective yeah it's mostly gum but a tenth

[36:42] of all their gum so it's nighttime there's a spooky glowing mist under the door as dear david

[36:47] tries a different way to get at adam and the cats are like classic dracula tactic yeah and the cats

[36:54] are like i don't like this also the fact that david's already in the apartment so i don't know

[36:58] why that this is the mist under the door as if he's trying to get in i thought he was in the

[37:02] internet what the where's this ghost you'll find out where do you live i really needed it answered

[37:08] we're what's this ghost's home base yeah that's that's the kind of that's the kind of note you

[37:12] get from executives i worked on a tv show once where some characters uh were licking a toad

[37:18] that they found in the in the forest to get high and uh that one of the executive notes was

[37:23] wait they just reach into a bush and pull out that toad so does this toad just live in that bush

[37:28] we're gonna have to we're gonna need some more information about this

[37:32] it's like the audience is really gonna bump on that you need to have a fucking breaking bad

[37:36] cold open of this fucking frog leaving its house kissing its wife on the cheek being like

[37:41] going back to work i hope nobody licks my ass another lick another dollar came toads come from

[37:48] australia not anyway and uh so uh the ghost david shows up and uh and he's and uh adam's like what

[37:54] do you want from me and david's like that's two questions and then hits him with a typewriter

[37:59] and he wakes up he's constantly having bad dreams of waking up adam listens to a recording of the

[38:02] haunting uh hears the noise downstairs wanders around in the dark it turns out it's kyle he's

[38:07] back kyle's back his mom's hysterectomy is done he can be there again they have a very tense

[38:12] conversation about adam's bad communication skills and kyle and his ass fucking moved while he was

[38:18] out of town and didn't tell him that's yeah he didn't tell me that you moved apartments and and

[38:22] this is when kyle's like and my friend found your picture on grinder and adam's like i took it off

[38:26] of grinder i haven't been on there in a long time also i feel like that initial suggestion that this

[38:31] whole thing is just him trying to explain why he's back on grinder and not get busted for it

[38:36] also prior to all that stuff like he's like uh and by the way you've been haunted by a ghost

[38:42] and i find out you didn't find out online i did so while i was away you moved got haunted and went

[38:50] back on grinder and you didn't tell me any of this he's like oh you guys kyle fucking sucks okay

[38:57] kyle is the worst part of this movie oh really so so tell me because he's certainly a boring

[39:01] character annoying he's just like all like i don't i get why what's the main guy adam i get why adam's

[39:09] not in it's like get off my dick i know seriously and like and then what's the thing with like i

[39:16] think that until you sort your shit out i should move out and then he hands him his key and it's

[39:21] like he moved apartments that key is to nowhere don't worry about it that's a key symbolic

[39:29] it's true that's a good one maybe just the key to his heart i don't know is that a key to your

[39:33] fucking dresser take here's the key to our sex handcuffs just take them for now i won't be using

[39:38] them so you'll need them i mean that's a big deal the key to the city that you got i don't want it

[39:44] for defeating the penguin yeah yeah i mean if he was given that key by eric adams it's basically

[39:49] worse yeah yeah it's like the trash yeah that's uh that's so do you think he's going to be the

[39:55] first the first is he going to be the the first mayor of new york to ever uh

[40:00] like just disappear and no one knows what happened to him?

[40:04] Because he would not be the first mayor of New York to flee the country when the law

[40:09] starts looking at him.

[40:10] He would be the third mayor of New York at least to do that.

[40:13] Wow.

[40:14] Storied history.

[40:15] Yeah.

[40:16] Hey, for more about mayors who had to flee the country because of the law, listen to

[40:19] the 99% invisible breakdown, the power broker.

[40:22] We talk about it there.

[40:23] Anyway.

[40:24] Synergy.

[40:25] Yeah.

[40:26] Log rules.

[40:27] So Kyle dumps Adam and Adam is still tweeting about the haunting.

[40:29] He's losing touch with his friends.

[40:30] His whole life is just about this haunting.

[40:32] Just tweeting about it.

[40:34] This is when he goes home.

[40:35] He does the thing that all of us would do if we know a ghost is in our apartment watching

[40:38] every move.

[40:39] He gets ready to start masturbating.

[40:41] But his laptop camera turns on and he's like, Oh, man, that's probably why he's so stressed

[40:46] out.

[40:47] He just needs to crank one out.

[40:48] Right.

[40:49] Guys.

[40:50] He hasn't been able to do it since I've been haunted.

[40:51] It is hard to do when you know that there's a ghost kid watching you all the time.

[40:53] Yeah.

[40:54] So Dan, is this your ultimate nightmare that you are jacking it to some Internet porn and

[41:25] the ghost turns your camera on, I guess, so that you're live streaming on the damn site

[41:29] he's using to masturbate to?

[41:33] Do I get a cut?

[41:34] I mean, that's part of it.

[41:35] I'm like, yo, yo, yo.

[41:36] Like, did he already have an account?

[41:38] Is he making is he making coins and shit for whatever they whatever?

[41:41] Yeah.

[41:42] I guess David must have set up an account.

[41:44] Set up a camera.

[41:45] He's always setting up accounts for him.

[41:47] Yeah.

[41:48] He's constantly setting up accounts.

[41:49] He's sending stuff through his.

[41:51] He's less a ghost and more of an identity thief.

[41:53] Yeah.

[41:54] Anyway.

[41:55] And then his phone starts playing back things that he said that are, you know, conversations

[41:58] that but his follower count is blowing up because of this haunting that night and probably

[42:03] because of the camera.

[42:04] Yeah.

[42:05] He's not afraid to bear all online.

[42:08] This is when David ups things a little bit.

[42:11] He literally drags Adam out of bed and drags him through the vermin filled bodega and then

[42:16] into, I say, glaring at Hallie and then down the steps into David's basement.

[42:21] And that's when we see Adam witnesses a scene where David's dad catches him looking at inappropriate

[42:27] online content and he gets mad at him.

[42:30] So David starts strangling his father and David's mom in order to stop him, hits him

[42:35] in the head so hard that the top of his head just breaks off.

[42:38] Yeah.

[42:39] Which is hilarious.

[42:40] This is a very funny thing to have happen.

[42:42] Yeah.

[42:43] And then he somehow manages to survive in a coma for 20 years with a huge chunk of his

[42:49] head missing.

[42:50] Yeah.

[42:51] Yeah.

[42:52] Yeah.

[42:53] I mean, I'm not a head scientist.

[42:54] Weren't there like, like microchips and shit in his head or am I think it's something else?

[42:57] Maybe that's later.

[42:58] I think maybe you fell asleep while watching this movie and started dreaming something

[43:01] possibly.

[43:02] But it is a it is a it is a.

[43:05] So this is, I guess, and this is I assume the time this is David's origin story, you

[43:09] know, which means that the why don't you kill yourself?

[43:11] That doesn't mean anything.

[43:13] That doesn't mean dying in a fire.

[43:14] That doesn't mean anything.

[43:15] No, he was just learning.

[43:16] He was learning the ways of being an Internet jerk, I guess.

[43:18] Yeah.

[43:19] And he was being radicalized by the Internet.

[43:21] Yes.

[43:22] Yeah.

[43:23] He wasn't he wasn't victimized.

[43:24] He was radicalized.

[43:25] That's the real horror story here, guys.

[43:26] Yeah.

[43:27] It's an American horror story.

[43:28] Yeah.

[43:29] And Ryan Murphy.

[43:30] Listen to us.

[43:31] And why don't you make a show about this?

[43:34] I think he's made 10 million shows about this.

[43:36] He's made so many shows all about this.

[43:38] Yeah.

[43:39] This is what Feud, Betty and Joan was all about, being radicalized.

[43:43] On the Internet.

[43:44] Not bad.

[43:45] Like I say, not bad.

[43:46] That was put two stars.

[43:47] You put two big stars in a show.

[43:48] It was okay.

[43:49] I don't like it.

[43:50] Any show that puts fake words in the mouth of Olivia de Havilland to the point where

[43:53] she has to take them to court, I'm not in favor of.

[43:56] You know, rest in peace, Olivia de Havilland, a true queen of Hollywood, one of the last

[43:59] links to the classic era.

[44:01] You know, I don't anyone take it and get her mad.

[44:02] I mean, I'm not saying it was tasteful.

[44:03] Yeah.

[44:04] I will never.

[44:05] I will never tar, tar Ryan Murphy with the taste.

[44:09] Not like my nudes.

[44:10] So his nudes are very tasteful, extremely tasteful.

[44:15] I would say he shouldn't just tape them up on the walls of subway stations.

[44:20] But, you know, if you're going to tape up self, he wants to get the word out, you know,

[44:23] are you?

[44:24] Yeah.

[44:25] I'm trying to do some street level marketing for your body.

[44:28] Yeah.

[44:29] Yes.

[44:30] All right.

[44:31] Okay.

[44:32] That's joy.

[44:33] So Adam wakes up in the rain.

[44:34] He takes a shower.

[44:35] He comes to the shower.

[44:36] The phrase DDIF is written on the mirror in steam.

[44:40] Oh, network.

[44:41] Adam's just getting weird and distant.

[44:43] He's just getting paranoid.

[44:44] He can't relate to people.

[44:45] And his boss is like, again, at this point, like we know that David isn't like a sympathetic

[44:52] anti bully person.

[44:53] He's bad.

[44:54] He's a bad thing.

[44:55] Yeah.

[44:56] So like the whole like him harping on the DIAF thing, like, why are you so mean?

[45:00] Weird.

[45:01] Yeah.

[45:02] Yeah.

[45:03] It doesn't really.

[45:04] You're mean.

[45:05] Yeah.

[45:06] At this point.

[45:07] Yeah.

[45:08] It's a return.

[45:09] Seems that David is the real villain in this movie about an evil ghost.

[45:12] So and Adam's boss is like, let's take this haunting project even bigger.

[45:17] And Adam begs Kyle to help him find out who uses the Dear David handle.

[45:20] He's like, can't you hack it or have one of your hacker friends do it?

[45:23] And Adam then brings in a sort of the here.

[45:26] Okay.

[45:27] Here's where there's two characters that should have been one character.

[45:29] Yeah.

[45:30] He brings in this sort of millennial psychic who just wanders around his apartment and

[45:33] he's like, oh, yeah, there's bad energy in here.

[45:35] The apartment's not haunted.

[45:37] You're haunted.

[45:38] And you got to find out the truth about David.

[45:40] He starts doing some online research.

[45:42] He decides to use the Internet to research the ghost that's been haunting him for weeks

[45:46] that he didn't think to research on the Internet, even though his Internet job is all about

[45:49] using the Internet.

[45:51] He does some online research until a note is slipped under his front door, which leads

[45:54] him to a meeting in a coffee shop with an Internet ghost, psychic detective, Internet

[45:59] sleuth, Internet sleuth.

[46:01] And this is like this sleuth and that and that millennial kind of like medium, this

[46:07] should have been the same character.

[46:08] They should have not been in it at all.

[46:09] Yeah.

[46:10] Ridiculous.

[46:11] They were like, how do we just.

[46:12] It seems like we painted ourselves into a corner and we need some information provided,

[46:17] but we haven't written a character who could provide that information.

[46:19] We've painted ourselves into a corner by adapting this ghost tweet thread by faking a thing

[46:25] that is not a story and doesn't have a story on it.

[46:28] I do like when the medium is in his apartment is like, I'm getting really bad energy from

[46:32] your computer.

[46:33] I'm like, no shit.

[46:37] This movie, as Dan mentioned earlier, it's a thin movie.

[46:40] There's not a lot going on in this movie.

[46:42] This is maybe the least amount of movie I remember us having in a movie at the Flobbist

[46:46] for a while.

[46:47] But it's also there's no structure to anything.

[46:50] Things just kind of happen and and wander along.

[46:53] And so even the scares, there are times when I'm like, I mean, Night Swim is kind of similar

[46:57] in some ways.

[46:58] Yeah.

[46:59] A series of the same scare over and over again.

[47:00] And you're like, are you going to, like, heighten this or when we see or when an actor

[47:04] like Justin Long comes up, we're like, oh, thank God this is an actual actor.

[47:08] It feels like a movie for a moment.

[47:10] I can briefly cling to this life boy.

[47:13] Yeah.

[47:14] Yeah.

[47:15] He is a real life boy, isn't he?

[47:16] I didn't.

[47:17] I combined a couple of different things, like a life raft and a buoy life saver.

[47:24] That's what I was looking for.

[47:25] Life saver.

[47:26] Yeah.

[47:27] So how are you guys celebrating life boy this year?

[47:30] Yeah.

[47:31] Life.

[47:32] Yeah.

[47:33] That's a life boy and his message of life for all of us that speaking of life savers,

[47:39] I just want to take that moment to mention there's a joke in the Marx Brothers movie

[47:42] Horse Feathers where a man falls out of a canoe and she says, throw me a life saver

[47:46] and throw me the life saver.

[47:47] And Groucho takes out a packet of life savers and starts throwing them into the water.

[47:50] My kids find this so funny, but they also are always like, wait, they have life savers

[47:55] then?

[47:56] And that always, that really gets to them.

[47:57] I mean, that was the biggest surprise.

[47:59] That's what I thought when you told me that joke.

[48:01] Yeah.

[48:02] It's a shock for modern audiences to be like, they had this candy in the thirties.

[48:05] Yeah.

[48:06] But that's why, you know, the classics.

[48:08] Did it taste the same or did it taste like sawdust?

[48:11] I'm sure it tasted like sawdust and petroleum jelly and a bunch of twigs and herbs made

[48:17] out of cocaine.

[48:18] It probably tasted better.

[48:19] It'd be like real pork fat, you know, boiled in cocaine.

[48:24] Yeah, sure.

[48:25] Yeah.

[48:26] So anyway, it's all butter, just slathered with butter.

[48:29] Yeah.

[48:30] Don't make them like that anymore.

[48:31] Lard.

[48:32] Lard.

[48:33] Oh yeah.

[48:34] Lard instead of corn syrup.

[48:35] It's just the sugar and the cocaine would just get mixed together, you know?

[48:37] Yeah.

[48:38] I mean, it earned the name life saver at that point.

[48:40] It saved a lot of lives during the depression.

[48:42] People didn't have that much to live for.

[48:44] You could get by on the calories of one life saver a month.

[48:47] Yeah.

[48:48] I made a pemican.

[48:49] Pemican has been a big subject in the house lately because my younger son is like, I want

[48:55] to try some pemican.

[48:57] That's what I should have for my snack at school.

[48:58] Who sells pemican these days?

[49:00] I think you might have to put some work into making that.

[49:03] I don't know that you can just hop on down to Trader Joe's.

[49:06] What is pemican?

[49:07] Is that the shit where you like keep in your armpit while you march and then it like softens

[49:11] up?

[49:12] I don't know about that.

[49:13] But it's like a mix of like jerked meat and like berries and you know, and nuts and things

[49:19] like that.

[49:20] It's like a trail mix type of thing.

[49:22] But it's all like grossly mushed together.

[49:25] Yeah.

[49:26] Like a power bar or something.

[49:27] Yes.

[49:28] It's like a 19th century power bar or 18th century even.

[49:30] Yeah.

[49:31] Yeah.

[49:32] Um, so.

[49:33] Pemican recipe.

[49:34] Okay.

[49:35] Dried meat, tallow and sometimes dried berries.

[49:37] Tallow.

[49:38] Being raw doesn't require refrigeration.

[49:39] I don't.

[49:40] Lean beef.

[49:41] Okay.

[49:42] I really don't get enough tallow in my current diet.

[49:45] Gotta eat some candles.

[49:47] And it's talloween.

[49:48] You know, it's the time of the year.

[49:49] So, uh, so he's doing this online research and the ghost sleuth online sleuth is like,

[49:53] hey, look, you should search online for a mad woman named loopy Linda.

[49:56] This sounds like the kind of shit loopy Linda's always pulling online.

[49:59] Yeah.

[50:00] Finds videos of this woman, Lupe Linda, who's a mental patient.

[50:03] And these videos, pretty well edited, right?

[50:06] Considering it is a security camera feed from the padded room of a mental hospital, the

[50:10] fact that it has multiple angles and close-ups that are edited together.

[50:14] It's pretty impressive.

[50:15] It's very impressive.

[50:16] And she's being told that she murdered her husband and put her son in a coma, and she

[50:21] goes, no, I fought the devil.

[50:22] I fought the devil.

[50:23] And then Adam sees a story that was briefly mentioned earlier in the movie, as the sort

[50:27] of thing BuzzFeed should be on top of, about a David who woke from a coma after 21 years.

[50:33] Could it be the same David?

[50:34] Wait, I have a question, though.

[50:37] Yes.

[50:38] So are we to believe that what we saw in the dream before, where David was the one who

[50:44] actually killed the dad, is true?

[50:46] Or are we to believe that the mom actually killed them both?

[50:49] I think it is giving the movie too much credit to think it's being ambiguous.

[50:52] I think that what happened, what we're being told is David was the, was trying to kill

[50:57] the dad.

[50:58] She attacked David, and then she was blamed for both crimes.

[51:02] And she has now believes that David is possessed or a demon or something like that.

[51:07] There's rare places that I'm going to compliment this movie, but I did kind of, I gave it a

[51:12] little credit.

[51:13] I'm like, oh, that coma detail.

[51:15] I really didn't think that that was going to be tied in.

[51:17] That was kind of fun that it was the same guy.

[51:20] I am going to be, I'm going to do the opposite of what I'm saying.

[51:22] All parts of the buffalo in this movie.

[51:24] I'm going to say, as soon as he mentioned it, I was like, well, this is going to be

[51:27] part of the plot at some point, but I'm glad, but look, we can, we can, we can, I thought

[51:32] it was successfully played off as a joke because Justin Long, like it was introduced with Justin

[51:36] Long being like, you could make all these like lists off of this coma guy, like 21 restaurants

[51:41] you go to after you get out of a coma in New York anyway, that's true.

[51:46] Number one, Sbarro.

[51:50] Number two, Times Square Applebee's.

[51:52] I was going to say, I was going to say the exact same thing.

[51:53] Get those fucking dolleritas, baby.

[51:56] Number three, Guy Fieri's American Cafe, or whatever, you have to go back in time for

[52:00] that one.

[52:01] If you've been in a coma that long, one sip of a fucking dollerita would blow your mind.

[52:06] It would be, especially if your head was all flat from being crushed by your mom.

[52:10] If a lot of your head is not there anymore, then very much so, yeah.

[52:14] So, so Adam goes to the hospital.

[52:16] He is told by a, at first, very helpful receptionist that David died a few days earlier.

[52:22] And then the guy's like, who are you again?

[52:24] And he goes, oh, I'm being haunted by his ghost.

[52:26] He steals that guy's security badge, sneaks into the records for David Johnson, which

[52:31] leads him to the address of David's doctor.

[52:35] Also the morgue thing, that the body has disappeared from the morgue.

[52:40] That's right.

[52:41] I forgot about that.

[52:42] The body's disappeared.

[52:43] And he goes to the doctor's house, just walks right in.

[52:45] The door's open, just walks in.

[52:46] I don't even think he rings the doorbell or knocks, I can't remember.

[52:49] I think the door is open, that's why he's so specific.

[52:52] And he finds the doctor, Dr. Landers, hanging, dead, at the top of the stairs in a pretty

[52:59] nice foyer.

[53:00] It's got stained glass.

[53:01] There's stained glass?

[53:02] Yeah, yeah.

[53:03] The wild thing is-

[53:04] That looked like a Ditmas Park sort of situation.

[53:06] I was saying the exact same thing, that looked like a Ditmas Park house.

[53:09] Where else in New York can you have a house like that?

[53:10] And there's the thing, this is a moment, so he sees his body-

[53:13] What a dream, to live in Ditmas Park.

[53:16] And it's just a hop, skip, and a jump from Hinterland Spa, it's lovely.

[53:20] So he sees the body hanging, and then her eyes open up, and he goes running out, and

[53:25] I'm like, wow, this is based on a true story, this happened.

[53:30] And you know what?

[53:31] And he doesn't, her eyes open, and he doesn't say, oh, let me help you, let me call 911,

[53:35] you're not dead yet.

[53:36] He just runs.

[53:37] What an asshole.

[53:38] He's like, oh, you got this, okay, you're fine.

[53:40] Oh, you're fine, okay, I'll see ya.

[53:42] Since we were getting specific about New York stuff, I do want to say that at the very

[53:46] beginning-

[53:47] Because we're talking about Ditmas Park, a neighborhood in Brooklyn most people are

[53:49] not familiar with?

[53:50] Yeah.

[53:51] Yeah.

[53:52] At the Shaw movie-

[53:53] That's where they shoot a lot of movies.

[53:54] When he was going to work and using the subway-

[53:56] It's like living in a suburb in the heart of New York.

[53:59] You can have a full, freestanding, three-story house.

[54:01] Do you know what you're saying?

[54:03] We live near it.

[54:04] I've seen it.

[54:05] Anyway-

[54:06] I'm saying for the listeners.

[54:07] The listeners who live in places like Alaska, Texas, Kuala Lumpur, Australia, Brazil, they

[54:11] don't know Ditmas Park.

[54:12] Yeah.

[54:13] Hey, if you're trying, like, if you're catching up on movies and you're watching Shiva Baby

[54:17] because you're like, I'm going through a real Rachel Sennett phase, Shiva Baby shot in Ditmas

[54:21] Park.

[54:22] Great.

[54:23] Great stuff.

[54:24] Anyway, the point is, it's just going to get less and less interesting, what I'm about

[54:28] to say, the longer we go.

[54:30] No, I just, at the beginning of the movie, I wanted to say-

[54:33] You're delaying now.

[54:34] Now you're the one who's delaying now.

[54:36] I wanted to say-

[54:37] He's trying to build up anticipation again.

[54:38] I wanted to say, because it was demanded of me, that I was watching the beginning when

[54:42] he was going to work and Audrey saw the very beginning and she kept being like, this geography

[54:48] makes sense.

[54:49] Yeah.

[54:50] He went out that exit and that's the exit he would come out of in the subway.

[54:54] So damning with more faint praise, dear David, good New York geography, I guess.

[55:00] Dan loved this movie.

[55:01] He does.

[55:02] And damning it with faint praise, that's damning, as in Dan McCoy.

[55:04] But you say this, the movie may not be based on a true story, but it is based on a true

[55:08] commute.

[55:09] And you can't take that away from it.

[55:10] Exactly.

[55:11] They did the work.

[55:14] They did the work of figuring out how you would get from basically Queens to Manhattan,

[55:19] right?

[55:20] Yeah.

[55:21] So, okay.

[55:22] So if you're coming to the city, you can use it as a guidebook.

[55:27] So Adam, he's like, I'm going to do this.

[55:30] He caffeinates himself, watches a movie on TV, trying to stay awake, falls asleep instantly.

[55:34] When he wakes up, David is on the TV and he tries to get Adam to cut his own wrists.

[55:38] He's like using his ghost powers to control Adam's arms.

[55:41] And when Adam wakes up, his arm is all cut up.

[55:44] At work, Evelyn is pissed at Adam for sending her insulting DMs.

[55:49] Have we mentioned Evelyn yet?

[55:50] Yeah, yeah.

[55:51] That's the coworker who helped him with the exorcist and stuff like that.

[55:54] And Kyle calls and he's like, it was easy to find out who has that dear David handle.

[55:58] Nobody does.

[55:59] It doesn't exist.

[56:00] You've got to let it go.

[56:01] And then he's at work and his coworker is like, Hey, can you see, tell me what you think

[56:04] about this article.

[56:05] And the article is 10 reasons to kill yourself at work.

[56:08] Pictures of Adam killing himself.

[56:10] And he's so mad.

[56:11] He's like, this is fucked up.

[56:12] And he has a big blow up.

[56:13] He starts shouting at him in the office.

[56:14] Yeah, it's fucked up you used AI to create these images of me.

[56:17] Yeah.

[56:18] This is 2017.

[56:19] So it's like, did he pose for these pictures?

[56:21] At no point was he like, how'd you get those pictures of me doing that?

[56:24] He just is like, this is crazy.

[56:25] Also, like, dog, you're being haunted.

[56:27] Just assume everything fucked up you see is ghost related.

[56:29] They have Photoshop.

[56:31] Especially because when he sees the article, it really says top 10 reasons to be yourself

[56:35] at work.

[56:36] Yeah.

[56:37] Which is like, what?

[56:38] What would those reasons be?

[56:39] I mean, I feel like the subplot of this movie is this other character who is holding on

[56:44] so tightly to their job, even though they should be fired.

[56:46] And this is more evidence that she does not know what she's doing.

[56:48] Yeah.

[56:49] What are those top 10 reasons?

[56:50] Dan, what are some reasons you should be yourself?

[56:51] Uh, you know, you've never tried to be anyone else than yourself at work.

[56:55] What other reasons?

[56:56] Yeah.

[56:57] Yeah.

[56:58] It's only been, it's only been to my benefit.

[57:00] Yeah.

[57:01] Number one, keeps expectations low.

[57:05] Number two, don't get called on to do work.

[57:06] They don't trust you.

[57:07] Number three.

[57:08] What?

[57:09] This is, these are lies now.

[57:14] These are getting into lies territory.

[57:16] Number three, fading into the background means.

[57:18] Okay.

[57:19] No, Dan is a great worker.

[57:22] You should hire him.

[57:23] Uh, so Justin Long, he comes out and he's like, hey, everybody, it's, everything's fine.

[57:27] You should go home.

[57:28] Take it easy.

[57:29] He's a good boss.

[57:30] He handles the situation pretty well.

[57:31] I think, I think he's a really good boss in this moment.

[57:34] He deescalates.

[57:35] He does not get things worse.

[57:36] He sends the, the, the troubled employee out, checks that everyone else is okay.

[57:40] It's, this is a, he's been set up as kind of a shallow guy, but he does a good job bossing

[57:43] here.

[57:44] So good on you.

[57:45] I feel like this was a Jonah Peretti's, uh, editorial influence, perhaps the boss is bad

[57:51] at his job.

[57:52] Make them good at his job.

[57:53] Yeah.

[57:54] Yeah.

[57:55] So we'll put this in the cheers column instead of the jeers.

[57:56] Yeah.

[57:57] Yeah.

[57:58] Cause everyone knows your name.

[57:59] And, uh, at home, Kyle is mad.

[58:01] He's like, Adam, why did you leave, send me these abusive emails?

[58:04] And, uh, Adam's is like, David's taken over my feed.

[58:07] He starts posting anti David cartoons where he's attacking David and he's drawn David

[58:11] with part of his head missing and people do not like it.

[58:15] The comments are not good on this one, which I understand.

[58:17] Stop bullying this headless ghost.

[58:19] Yeah.

[58:20] The idea like, I want to mention Justin Long being like, well, your work was supposed to

[58:23] become more relatable and I don't think the audience can really relate to the feeling

[58:26] of being haunted by a, by a semi headed ghost.

[58:29] Um, and, uh, he throws David's rocking chair down the stairs and he's like, I'm in control

[58:34] now.

[58:35] He's not in control.

[58:36] Uh, David goes in and starts erasing Adam's work as he's doing it.

[58:39] No, his art.

[58:40] That's how he expresses his soul.

[58:42] And Adam asked the third question, which I think is, would be, would be shitting himself

[58:46] if he saw this part.

[58:47] That's true.

[58:48] But I'm trying to make, understand and reinvent comics.

[58:53] Stop.

[58:55] Um, uh, I, I reread, uh, understanding comics again recently.

[59:00] Great book.

[59:01] Just a fact.

[59:02] Just a fantastic book.

[59:03] Yeah.

[59:04] I wasn't a huge fan of his, uh, somewhat recent followup, uh, sculptor.

[59:06] Did you read that one?

[59:07] Sculptor?

[59:08] I didn't.

[59:09] I liked the art a lot and I liked the storytelling.

[59:10] I didn't love the story, you know, but he's still a master craftsman, but it just wasn't

[59:14] the story for me.

[59:15] But, uh, but Zot, great series.

[59:17] Can't tonight.

[59:18] So if Scott McClyde is listening, we're not trying to, you're mainly in the cheers category.

[59:23] Still with Stewart's, but only, only partly in the jeers for that one.

[59:27] Only partly.

[59:28] For Sculptor.

[59:29] Okay.

[59:30] Uh, and, uh, Adam ends up, oh, so, um, uh, this is when he asked David a third question,

[59:36] which triggers David's new ability to turn Adam into a living video game that he can

[59:41] control with a controller.

[59:42] I forgot about this.

[59:43] And it's like Dave, he controls Adam and makes him light himself on fire, but it's like he's,

[59:47] he's both a video game character and also himself, but it's not like a computer animated

[59:51] video camera.

[59:52] It's like live action footage of him moving.

[59:54] Like he's a video game character.

[59:55] I could have, like, if this was where the movie was gonna go, I could have used more

[59:58] of this earlier in the.

[1:00:00] Yes.

[1:00:00] This is pretty late in the movie to get this silly.

[1:00:03] Yes, I agree.

[1:00:05] Adam ends up back again.

[1:00:06] What do you think of the video game sequence, Halle?

[1:00:08] Were you, did this speak to your video game experience?

[1:00:11] As a gamer, yeah.

[1:00:12] Yeah, no, I was confused about why

[1:00:17] there was like two of them now.

[1:00:19] Yes, that you're seeing both the like

[1:00:23] Dear David version of it and the real version of it.

[1:00:25] It was very confusing.

[1:00:27] Yeah.

[1:00:28] It was like, who is seeing this video game version?

[1:00:30] But he's also, but there are also two Adams.

[1:00:35] Yes.

[1:00:36] There was like a, and then so that confused me.

[1:00:40] Yeah, and you're just trying to enforce ethics

[1:00:43] in the gaming and journalism industry, right?

[1:00:44] Yeah.

[1:00:45] That's why you're worried about it, yeah.

[1:00:48] So Adam, he ends up back in David's basement

[1:00:51] and people from Adam's life are like,

[1:00:53] you suck, you're not good enough.

[1:00:54] You know, you'll never be good enough.

[1:00:55] And then there's an evil version of Adam.

[1:00:56] I just read Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow.

[1:00:58] So I do know about games.

[1:00:59] I don't appreciate the jokes as if,

[1:01:02] because I'm a woman, I don't know all games.

[1:01:05] No, I mean, the joke is more that you're just not,

[1:01:07] you don't play them though.

[1:01:08] I've been for a video game.

[1:01:10] I know, but that's not, oh, okay, sorry, I apologize.

[1:01:13] I brought a fresh perspective

[1:01:15] as someone who didn't know anything about games.

[1:01:17] The new Mortal Kombat or?

[1:01:19] No.

[1:01:20] Yeah, she was coming up with,

[1:01:21] she was assigned to the Babalities

[1:01:22] for the new Mortal Kombat.

[1:01:23] That's pretty cute.

[1:01:24] Different ways to have the characters turn into babies.

[1:01:27] Friendships.

[1:01:28] Oh, that'd be cool.

[1:01:28] Yeah.

[1:01:29] Okay, sorry, back to the game.

[1:01:30] And then they're like, Hallie, you're on friendships.

[1:01:32] And you're like, okay, well, what if he like,

[1:01:34] reaches into his, reaches down his throat,

[1:01:37] pulls his intestines out

[1:01:38] and it's like there's poop spraying out.

[1:01:39] And they're like, no, no, again,

[1:01:40] we want friendships, not fatalities.

[1:01:42] I don't get any of this

[1:01:46] because I don't play this video game.

[1:01:48] It's fine, it's fine.

[1:01:49] So anyway, and there's an evil Adam who's like,

[1:01:51] you're always gonna be alone.

[1:01:53] Evelyn and Kyle, they show up to check on Adam

[1:01:56] because they haven't heard from him.

[1:01:57] And they see his apartment is on fire

[1:01:58] and they shout for him.

[1:02:00] And he hears them shouting,

[1:02:01] which gives him the strength to believe in himself.

[1:02:03] But now he has to fight grown up David, the ghost monster.

[1:02:07] And again, this is a little late for this monster David

[1:02:09] to be showing up.

[1:02:10] And Adam, luckily he manages to take this ghost

[1:02:14] of a comatose child who's missing part of his head

[1:02:17] and beat him to death.

[1:02:19] So Adam does win this fight, yeah.

[1:02:21] But he does it through like also,

[1:02:23] I guess, claiming his own self-esteem.

[1:02:27] Like during this like scene,

[1:02:29] there's like a lot about like,

[1:02:31] you know, I'm not gonna let the internet tell me

[1:02:35] how to feel about myself.

[1:02:37] Yeah.

[1:02:38] He's realizing that he can be the troll in his life.

[1:02:42] He doesn't need other people to troll him.

[1:02:44] I mean, it's always been kind of messagey,

[1:02:46] but it gets real messagey at the end here.

[1:02:48] Yes, very much so.

[1:02:49] Anyway, Adam is about to escape the burning apartment

[1:02:52] when a blast knocks him out

[1:02:53] and Evelyn and Kyle pull him to safety.

[1:02:55] And Adam tells Kyle he loves him,

[1:02:56] which feels like a little too little too late.

[1:02:58] Like if he's gotta drag you out of a burning building

[1:03:01] for you to say you love him,

[1:03:02] then this is not the man for you, Kyle.

[1:03:04] Well, also like-

[1:03:05] Kyle should consider himself lucky he got anything.

[1:03:07] People know that like stuff has been happening

[1:03:11] because for instance, his coworkers,

[1:03:14] like the bad messages she supposedly got,

[1:03:17] got changed to good messages.

[1:03:19] But that confused me because I'm like,

[1:03:21] well, he doesn't remember sending any messages.

[1:03:23] So why did that happen?

[1:03:24] I mean, Dan, when I've had a couple in me,

[1:03:27] I'm sending all kinds of crazy shit to people

[1:03:29] in my contacts.

[1:03:30] That's true.

[1:03:31] Look, he's been haunted for days.

[1:03:34] He's got all this built up sperm in him

[1:03:36] from not being able to masturbate for a while.

[1:03:38] So he's liable to tweet, to text any positive thing

[1:03:41] to somebody.

[1:03:42] Yeah, you were saying how much that hurts for a guy.

[1:03:44] Yeah, I mean, a lot of people don't understand

[1:03:46] how much that hurts for a guy.

[1:03:48] It needs to be, much like toxic gas,

[1:03:50] it needs to be vented periodically.

[1:03:52] I just like the idea that when you get really horny,

[1:03:55] what you do is you send out really nice messages to people.

[1:03:58] Like, they're just like, you've been killing it at work.

[1:04:02] Maybe I just, maybe my sexuality just triggers

[1:04:04] something different in me than you.

[1:04:05] Maybe you have a more grim kind of dark sexuality,

[1:04:09] but I get off on praising people.

[1:04:10] Dan's dark passenger takes over.

[1:04:12] Well, it's very mysterious.

[1:04:14] It's a very mysterious sexuality, Elliot.

[1:04:17] It's mysterious.

[1:04:18] It is mysterious and should remain that way.

[1:04:21] And Kyle manages to save David's cats also.

[1:04:24] And everyone apologizes to each other.

[1:04:26] But as Adam's being taken away in an ambulance,

[1:04:29] there's kind of flashes of David's face

[1:04:31] in the reflection in the window,

[1:04:33] which I don't know if it was implying

[1:04:34] that he's still haunted or if David lives in him now.

[1:04:37] He is still haunted, but David lived in him,

[1:04:38] that the real Adam died and now David inhabits him.

[1:04:41] You think that's what it was?

[1:04:42] And this is a true story.

[1:04:44] It is a true story.

[1:04:45] So in real life, that guy is now an evil ghost,

[1:04:47] is what you're saying.

[1:04:48] And it ends, then it goes to a woman who's on a Twitch stream

[1:04:51] and she's like, this Adam stuff is all fake.

[1:04:54] It's so dumb.

[1:04:54] And these snarky commenters are telling her

[1:04:56] to like, to say three questions.

[1:04:59] She goes, okay, I will.

[1:05:00] Dear David, you suck.

[1:05:01] Why are you so dumb?

[1:05:02] Why are you such so crappy?

[1:05:04] And then-

[1:05:05] So fugly.

[1:05:06] So fugly.

[1:05:07] And then the screen glitches.

[1:05:08] And then she starts to-

[1:05:09] She doesn't even see his fucking picture.

[1:05:10] How does she know he's fugly?

[1:05:11] No, she doesn't even know.

[1:05:12] And then she says, no.

[1:05:13] It undercuts her message.

[1:05:15] Yeah.

[1:05:16] Her second question was, for real?

[1:05:19] Remember?

[1:05:20] Just the number four.

[1:05:21] Yeah, that's right.

[1:05:22] For real?

[1:05:22] And there's screen glitches.

[1:05:24] It's not even sick burns.

[1:05:25] She suddenly, her body is taken over

[1:05:26] and she smashes her own face into the table in front of her

[1:05:29] until it's a real pulpy mess.

[1:05:31] This was a little bit too harsh for me.

[1:05:33] And this feels so much like a scene

[1:05:34] that was tacked on at the end

[1:05:36] because they felt they needed more gore.

[1:05:37] And I was like, too far, guys, too far.

[1:05:40] I'm gonna say something nice about whoever wrote this,

[1:05:42] which is that they've never-

[1:05:44] God damn, what?

[1:05:45] Are you in love with this person or something?

[1:05:46] No, I'm just saying-

[1:05:47] God damn, they wrote the movie.

[1:05:48] I forgot to tell you.

[1:05:50] I'm gonna say that they have never entered

[1:05:51] the bully zone in their life

[1:05:53] because whenever they try and write someone

[1:05:54] being a bully online, it is so absurd.

[1:05:58] They are like, it reminds me of a,

[1:06:00] so my sons have really gotten into the idea

[1:06:02] of roasting each other.

[1:06:03] And they'll have kind of roast battles

[1:06:05] in the back of the car.

[1:06:06] And the roasts are mild.

[1:06:08] These are mild roasts.

[1:06:09] They, they'll, my older son, he'll be like,

[1:06:13] you know, you, when your mom is so dumb,

[1:06:16] you know, he'll do those kinds of stuff,

[1:06:17] but they never quite work.

[1:06:18] And then my younger son will just turn to him and go,

[1:06:20] you're the stupidest person in the world.

[1:06:22] And it's so intense.

[1:06:24] It's just like so, he just says it so seriously.

[1:06:28] And I'm always like cringing, like, ooh, rough.

[1:06:32] I would, no, I-

[1:06:33] Harsh but fair, right?

[1:06:35] I like to imagine Gabriel being like,

[1:06:39] you're talking about our mother.

[1:06:43] That would be really funny.

[1:06:43] We have the same mom.

[1:06:47] But yeah, so that's, and that's Dear David,

[1:06:49] the ghost lives on and it's just going

[1:06:50] after random streamers.

[1:06:53] Maybe he smashed their face against the edge.

[1:06:54] Maybe they added the scene at the end

[1:06:56] because they were trying to clarify

[1:06:58] for people who had confusion like some of us did

[1:07:03] as to whether or not David lived on through Adam.

[1:07:05] They were demonstrating David lives on.

[1:07:08] That he lived on.

[1:07:09] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:07:11] That it's not easy to kill a ghost.

[1:07:13] So this, I think the ending of the movie

[1:07:16] kind of reminded me of something.

[1:07:17] I think this is going to lead us directly

[1:07:18] into final judgment.

[1:07:19] So Dan, do you want to set up final judgments for everyone?

[1:07:22] Oh, so it's not going to lead us into,

[1:07:24] I'm going to lead and then this will be the beginning.

[1:07:26] Okay.

[1:07:28] Let's offline about this later, Dan.

[1:07:29] I don't know if we can work this out on camera.

[1:07:31] So this is final judgment.

[1:07:33] This is the section where we decide

[1:07:35] if this is a good movie, a bad movie,

[1:07:37] or a what movie?

[1:07:39] No.

[1:07:41] Right?

[1:07:42] I got them right.

[1:07:43] I mean, to be honest,

[1:07:43] the categories are a little better than we usually have.

[1:07:45] October ones.

[1:07:46] Was it totally scarifying, totally snorifying,

[1:07:48] or frighteningly funny?

[1:07:49] Are the special Shocktober categories

[1:07:52] that everyone hates but me?

[1:07:53] So what I was saying is that

[1:07:57] the ending of this movie,

[1:07:58] specifically the sequence where this woman

[1:08:00] who's a streamer ends up smashing her face

[1:08:02] into her keyboard,

[1:08:04] brought to mind a movie that I think

[1:08:06] does a much better job of capturing

[1:08:08] the alienating feel of living most of your life online.

[1:08:13] There's a movie called Cam.

[1:08:15] Yes.

[1:08:15] Which is fucking great.

[1:08:17] It was directed by the same guy who directed

[1:08:19] How to Blow Up a Pipeline a few years ago.

[1:08:21] Oh, okay.

[1:08:21] Did he say it's called Ham?

[1:08:23] Cam.

[1:08:24] Ham?

[1:08:25] Like camera.

[1:08:26] Cam.

[1:08:27] Cam.

[1:08:27] Oh.

[1:08:28] Like your favorite character from Modern Family.

[1:08:29] Oh.

[1:08:30] Yep.

[1:08:31] And it's about a young cam girl

[1:08:32] who's very ambitious and successful.

[1:08:33] A young ham girl?

[1:08:34] You're getting so much sleep lately.

[1:08:35] A young ham girl.

[1:08:36] There's something about,

[1:08:37] this is bad,

[1:08:37] there's something about Stuart when he wears glasses

[1:08:38] that makes me want to go after him even more.

[1:08:39] Now I get it.

[1:08:40] I get it now.

[1:08:41] I accept it.

[1:08:42] So it's about a cam girl.

[1:08:43] So she's a cam girl.

[1:08:43] She's very, she's successful.

[1:08:44] And then she discovers somebody is,

[1:08:46] seems to be impersonating,

[1:08:46] not only like using her account,

[1:08:47] but like, is her on the internet.

[1:08:48] And she's like,

[1:08:49] I'm going to go after her.

[1:08:55] And then she discovers somebody is,

[1:08:57] seems to be impersonating,

[1:08:59] not only like using her account,

[1:09:01] but like, is her on the internet.

[1:09:04] And she's trying to figure out why this doppelganger

[1:09:06] of hers exists in the digital space.

[1:09:08] It's, it's great.

[1:09:10] And it just, like thinking about,

[1:09:12] like the ending of this movie mimics some stuff from cam.

[1:09:16] And it just really highlighted the fact that

[1:09:18] this movie does not know what it's doing.

[1:09:20] It's like, they throw in a few scares here and there,

[1:09:22] but like, it feels,

[1:09:23] even to the title is wrongheaded.

[1:09:26] Like you're calling it Dear David,

[1:09:29] does not indicate it's scary or about a ghost.

[1:09:32] It's calling to mind a Twitter thread,

[1:09:36] which if you're already interested in the Twitter thread,

[1:09:38] like you don't need the name,

[1:09:40] like call it Scary Ghost Thing.

[1:09:41] There's also like a YA rom-com movie called Dear David

[1:09:46] that exists already.

[1:09:47] And the title looks much better for that.

[1:09:49] That's actually what I watched.

[1:09:51] Oh no.

[1:09:53] So I'm going to say this is snorifying.

[1:09:55] Snorifying.

[1:09:56] Yeah, I also say it's snorifying.

[1:09:57] This is our friend, Kevin Mar-

[1:10:00] Who has the show Kevin geeks out does a thing called the kindest cut which is just you know, taking a movie and like

[1:10:08] only including

[1:10:10] The stuff that you want to see in that movie like the funny stuff, you know

[1:10:15] And often it's enough to kind of give you an idea of the plot

[1:10:18] this is a movie that would really benefit from a kindest cut because there is like

[1:10:22] some wacky stuff in here that's

[1:10:25] Really funny and weird and wrong-headed and if you cut this movie down to like

[1:10:29] Seven minutes, I would be amused by it. But uh, otherwise it has so much nothing going on that I have to say

[1:10:36] Snorifying what do you guys think?

[1:10:39] In la on the other coast. Yeah, I am also going to call it

[1:10:43] Snorifying because for all the reasons you guys said already like this just not very much happens and it feels very weird that

[1:10:49] It feels like it's being

[1:10:51] very

[1:10:52] like um

[1:10:53] uh

[1:10:54] Uh, why am I blanking on the word? Very like it's sticking very closely the details of erotic. Yeah, very erotic

[1:11:00] It's it's sticking closely

[1:11:02] I assume to what happened in the twitter thread because otherwise you would have invented some more interesting things to have happen. Um, right

[1:11:09] uh, it's I don't know it's showing such fidelity it seems to it but it's it's such a

[1:11:13] The haunting is so low. Is that the word that escaped you all it was not fidelity

[1:11:17] It was hard for you to recall that word

[1:11:19] Right

[1:11:21] Hallie it was one time one time

[1:11:25] uh

[1:11:26] But the it feels like there's just not a lot going on in this movie

[1:11:28] It feels like this. I feel like after when I watched night swim

[1:11:31] I was like this movie doesn't really have the scares i'm looking for and then I watched this and I was like night swim

[1:11:36] I'm, sorry, you you know, you were doing what you needed to do. Uh, but

[1:11:40] Dear david is uh, you know, it's like kind of barely a movie. It's and which is is too bad because

[1:11:46] I like watching movies hallie. What do you think? Yeah, I liked the

[1:11:50] the premise of this movie I I can't tell if you guys

[1:11:54] It didn't seem messagey to me that there would be a horror movie about someone who's like a vigilante against uh,

[1:12:01] internet bullies

[1:12:02] I thought that was intriguing and like a good idea and then just they just didn't do anything with it

[1:12:07] Uh, it made me feel like anytime I write something i'm trying way too hard

[1:12:12] because

[1:12:14] Well, that was the thing that was baffling to me about

[1:12:18] About this movie i'm like this was a movie that they were like, yeah, let's go ahead and make it

[1:12:24] That's the part that confuses me about this movie. I wouldn't be surprised. I wouldn't be surprised

[1:12:29] You never know what what's going on behind the scenes if they were like we have a release date set for this movie

[1:12:33] So go make it and they don't really have time to do much with it

[1:12:36] like there's always I I will say i'll give our proviso that we use sometimes where it's like

[1:12:41] You don't know what what's going on behind the scenes with movies the creative people who make movies are often

[1:12:46] Undercut or handcuffed or or held back or hurt by production difficulties scheduling difficulties the people they answer to money-wise

[1:12:54] so you never know what I I don't want to uh

[1:12:56] I don't want to go from I don't want to be a real troll bully and be like everyone who made this movie sucks

[1:13:00] They're really bad. Yeah, we just said buzzfeed. I think we made fun of buzzfeed studios. That was it

[1:13:05] And we made fun of those cartoons, but that's hey, that's pretty mild bullying

[1:13:08] honestly, that's true, but you never know but

[1:13:11] Are you guys trying to be so nice just because of this movie in particular?

[1:13:15] Is this your new thing that you guys kind of nicer in general now?

[1:13:17] But it is baffling to me that this movie was made

[1:13:20] like or they didn't like that someone didn't see the script and say like

[1:13:23] Can we add some more ghost stuff in this like can we make this scarier or like funnier or like more exciting?

[1:13:30] but it's like are they worried that like people are gonna show up who are like

[1:13:34] Uh, I was a fan of the twitter thread and there's changes and I don't like it

[1:13:37] Like do you think that's gonna happen?

[1:13:39] I mean, I wonder if or it may be also just the fact I wonder if buzzfeed was like stick with what we own

[1:13:44] Don't change anything about it

[1:13:46] Well given the fact that none of us have researched the twitter thread

[1:13:49] We actually don't know if there is a lot of fidelity to the twitter thread

[1:13:53] but I bet it did sell I bet it sold because

[1:13:56] of zola stewart

[1:13:58] I feel like they probably were like

[1:14:00] Maybe it sold even around the same time and they were like that did so well. Let's uh buy this one

[1:14:04] Kelly, do you think we could sell a movie based on our chore from years ago? Oh my god

[1:14:09] Buzzfeed studios. Um, I forget what I said about dear david. It's great. Why don't you buy ours?

[1:14:18] Um intellectual property theft there to quote mr. T tiger it's great

[1:14:23] Okay, you say I know he says they're great still

[1:14:27] So

[1:14:31] This season on the adventure zone abnimals

[1:14:35] Get ready for a brand new crime fighting trio here to protect the anthropomorphic muscular animal citizens of river city

[1:14:42] Featuring justin mcelroy as axolotl the firefighting axolotl

[1:14:46] Clint mcelroy as roger moore the debonair cow of mystery

[1:14:50] Griffin mcelroy as navy seal the raw seal that has never served in the armed forces

[1:14:56] And travis mcelroy as every other swole critter in river city

[1:15:00] This swear free saturday morning cartoon inspired story airs every thursday on maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcasts

[1:15:11] I'm emily fleming and i'm jordan morris

[1:15:14] We're real comedy writers and real friends and real fucking cheapskates

[1:15:19] We say why subscribe to expensive streaming services when you can stream tons of insane movies online for?

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[1:15:34] We review streaming movies from the darkest corner of the internet's bargain bin

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[1:15:42] Look at jean-claude van damme's big old butt free with ads a free podcast about free movies

[1:15:48] That's worth the price of admission every tuesday on maximumfund.org or your favorite pod spot

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[1:16:30] Never frozen meals pair perfectly with your busy fall schedule and you know what?

[1:16:36] For whatever reason I know the reason I just have a bunch of like

[1:16:40] Halloween loving freak friends and also we've got

[1:16:44] Flop tv going on october is always, uh filled with stuff. Yeah dance swamp guys

[1:16:50] I mean i'm stuffed like a cornucopia. Yeah on a thanksgiving table. So if you don't have a lot of time, that's in november

[1:16:58] You know, you can have a cornucopia anytime yeah, yeah, it doesn't just have to be in november

[1:17:03] Uh when it comes to meals everyone wants the same thing options, that's why factor offers 35 wholesome meals every week

[1:17:12] So you'll always find something you love that suits your lifestyle from easy breakfast

[1:17:16] And that's a lot of meals for one week. That's five meals a day. That's you should have that many meals

[1:17:22] Perhaps it's for a family, you know

[1:17:24] I mean, I think it's the options of meals. It's none of your business

[1:17:29] That's true, you know what I shouldn't be I shouldn't be

[1:17:32] Other people's food habits. Thank you

[1:17:36] From easy breakfast and smoothies to delectable

[1:17:39] Delectable even midnight snacks factor has over 60 plus add-ons

[1:17:44] There's no prep. No mess. Just delicious meals that feature premium ingredients like filet mignon. You like that?

[1:17:51] You like that elliot filet mignon. Yeah protein. I do

[1:17:54] Shrimp shrimp, I like that. Also shrimp's great

[1:17:57] And blackened salmon delivered right to your door. Sounds good ready in just two minutes. You'll savor every last bite

[1:18:05] I've had some of these factor meals

[1:18:07] uh, I

[1:18:08] Unlike elliot love to cook

[1:18:10] but also

[1:18:12] Like elliot, sometimes maybe I don't want to cook

[1:18:16] Just because you love something doesn't mean you want to do it all the time and factor meals is a great option

[1:18:21] These meals were delicious. I enjoyed them. So if you want to enjoy them, too, you can go to factor meals.com

[1:18:27] Slash flop 50 and use code flop 50 to get 50 off your first box and 20 off your next month. That is code

[1:18:35] flop 50 at factor meals.com

[1:18:37] Slash flop 50 to get 50 off your first box plus 20 off your next month

[1:18:42] Is factor brought to you by the same people who made fear factor because I wouldn't need that. No

[1:18:48] No, no, this is nothing to be afraid of I think i've told the story before about how

[1:18:52] I didn't get to eat too many of our factor meals because my wife kept taking them to work for lunch

[1:18:58] I'd be like i'll have this today. Oh, it's gone. Oh, I took that for lunch. She liked him

[1:19:04] So elliot had to eat soda

[1:19:06] Yeah, look, I had to make my own pemmican

[1:19:10] Lifesavers, yeah

[1:19:12] Uh, I have a little plug to do now that we're in the plug section. Oh, uh

[1:19:16] If you are listening to this you still have a little bit of time to go support

[1:19:20] Jiggle studio a uh a studio gym space opening here in brooklyn, new york

[1:19:26] Um that my wife and I are opening with some friends

[1:19:30] This is our first time branching out from just doing bars. Instead. We're doing a workout space. That's going to be

[1:19:37] classes, uh like yoga palates

[1:19:40] There's gonna be burlesque class dance classes and then charlene's patented hangover helper class, uh,

[1:19:47] It's gonna it's a ton of fun. She's patented

[1:19:51] If I say it on a podcast, it's patented, right? Yeah. Yeah, just take that class put it in an envelope mail it to yourself

[1:19:57] Thank you. That's what i'm doing right now. If you get a

[1:20:00] chance, head over to Kickstarter and look up Open Jiggle Studios, and you can learn all about it.

[1:20:07] There's plenty of cool merch. You can sign up in advance for classes if you live in the area.

[1:20:13] And yeah, you can help our dream come true. The Kickstarter is going really well so far,

[1:20:17] and we're pleased with all the great support. So thanks, and open our gym, please, Jiggle Studio.

[1:20:24] I also want to make sure people remember that, as Dan mentioned, we are still doing Flop TV

[1:20:29] Season 2. It's going on right now for six months from September through February,

[1:20:35] the first Saturday of each month. We are live streaming a one-hour kind of TV version of the

[1:20:42] Flophouse, and then that video gets archived, and you can watch it whenever you want if you

[1:20:47] have a ticket to it. It's the first Saturday in every month. The next episode we're doing

[1:20:50] will be November 2nd when we're talking Caddyshack 2, because this season is all about sequels.

[1:20:56] We had a lot of fun with Robocop 2, had a lot of fun with Break-In 2. We are ready to

[1:21:01] be hurt, to not feel good, after watching Caddyshack 2.

[1:21:04] But the theme song says, I'm all right.

[1:21:07] I mean, the theme song to Caddyshack, the Caddyshack 2 theme song is,

[1:21:11] I won't be all right. We went too far this time. Nobody asked for another.

[1:21:21] Making it was kind of a crime. Who knows? Maybe we'll think it's great. So that's

[1:21:25] November 2nd, 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 p.m. Eastern time. We'll be broadcasting live,

[1:21:31] but if you can't make it, that's okay. Your ticket gets you access to the video.

[1:21:35] If you go to theflophouse.simpletics.com, you can buy tickets or season passes.

[1:21:42] What does the season pass get you? It'll get you five shows for the price of six,

[1:21:45] and it means you have access to all these videos. You can watch them at your leisure

[1:21:50] through the end of February, when the videos will be going back into the Flophouse vault.

[1:21:56] You said five shows for the price of six.

[1:21:58] Did I?

[1:21:59] Yeah.

[1:21:59] Sorry, that's six shows for the price of five.

[1:22:01] Just wanted, I didn't want anyone to not do it because they thought they were overpaying.

[1:22:06] What a terrible deal.

[1:22:07] Thanks, that would be a bad deal. Sorry.

[1:22:09] Season pass gets you six shows for the price of five shows. It's like an extra.

[1:22:13] So go to theflophouse.simpletics.com to watch Flop TV Season 2. We've been having so much fun

[1:22:19] with it. Audiences have been loving it. We've been getting good audiences. We want you to join

[1:22:23] them and have that fun. And while you're going to theflophouse.simpletics.com, also make a note

[1:22:30] to yourself to go to your local comic book store, where the first issue of my run of Harley Quinn

[1:22:36] from DC Comics should be out on comic store shelves now, unless it's sold out already.

[1:22:40] That's Harley Quinn number 44, writing by me, pencils and inks by Mindy Lee. The art looks

[1:22:47] amazing and I'm very proud of how it's coming out. The first issue comes out October 23rd,

[1:22:53] which happened already when this episode comes out. So it should be on comic stores

[1:22:57] shelves now. Issue 44 of Harley Quinn written by me. But first, go to theflophouse.simpletics.com

[1:23:03] and get tickets for Flop TV Season 2. And now, back to the rest of the show.

[1:23:09] Yeah. Yeah. Shut up. Shut up, Elliot. It's time for letters. It's time for you to shut up and

[1:23:17] our listeners to say something. And then we say stuff back. Oh, it's sort of a back and forth.

[1:23:22] Then you can talk again. Um, I just didn't turn into such a such a troll all of a sudden. He's

[1:23:27] really Dear David-ing me. I just I just got a yeah, I just I got just got a Twitter message

[1:23:32] from Dear David. He says he's following you now. I got inhabited by a ghost. Um, this first letter

[1:23:39] is from Ben. Who writes? A rat? You went to two different animals. Interesting. A lot of animals

[1:23:47] were named Ben. At least two. Ben G. Oddly, the Ben in Ben and me, though, wasn't the mouse. That

[1:23:58] was Benjamin Franklin, of course. That is ironic. Of course. There's a cartoon and everything.

[1:24:07] Of course, there's the tale of Despereaux, which is a mouse, but not named Ben.

[1:24:11] Yeah. Well, we're going to open it up. There's Mrs. Frisbee. You might be thinking, yeah,

[1:24:18] you might think rats of Nim is actually rats of Ben, but it's not. No, it's not.

[1:24:22] Different words. Bible to me. Not Ben. If Mickey way different than Ben,

[1:24:29] very different to syllable, different letters, different sounds. Yeah.

[1:24:33] Anyway, so Brown Jenkin could be a bad. We don't know what his first name is.

[1:24:38] So you bring up Ben 10. That is not a mouse. Again, that's a boy.

[1:24:43] The funny thing is, the original Ben was neither a mouse. It wasn't a mouse. It was a rat or a

[1:24:49] or a bear. I mean, the original Ben.

[1:24:55] The way this whole started out, we somehow migrated to mouse. We were like listing mice.

[1:25:00] I just think it's funny that anyway, I'll keep this short and sweet. Good, because we didn't.

[1:25:07] My other favorite movie series is on cinema at the cinema. One of the reoccurring gags is that

[1:25:13] it's obvious that Tim Heidecker's character rarely watches the movies they review.

[1:25:17] I'm curious if there was ever a time in your podcast history where you believed one of your

[1:25:22] cast mates hadn't actually watched or finished the movie y'all were discussing. I mean,

[1:25:27] Stuart frequently doesn't finish the movies. Well, do the credits count? There was that time

[1:25:33] where Dan fell asleep during the movie. Yeah, that was awesome. That was great. I don't remember,

[1:25:39] but he was snoring. I was like, should we wake him up? No, this is funny.

[1:25:44] I think there were more than one occasion. There was a Transformers movie and the RoboCop remake,

[1:25:50] if I recall correctly. Transformers are so long, dude. And for every like two seconds of Anthony

[1:25:56] Hopkins getting blown up by a Decepticon or TJ Miller getting killed like off screen. Yeah,

[1:26:03] I mean, you've got it. You've got to sit through a character explaining the laws of statutory rape

[1:26:08] so that it doesn't get arrested for having an underage girlfriend. Something that is weird

[1:26:12] to have in a blockbuster science fiction. Yeah, that was a weird part of that. Yeah,

[1:26:16] it's not a joke. That's an actual part of the movie that happens. Which one was that point

[1:26:21] when those two little robots were like, yeah, we can't read. And I'm like,

[1:26:30] well, at least one of those times I think I was sick. So that mitigates a little.

[1:26:34] This is. Sure, sure. Of course. You know, it's less fun to do the show this way than

[1:26:40] back when we could watch the movie all at the same time together. Like, that's the most fun

[1:26:43] way to obviously watch a bad movie. But I guess the one advantage is that should I fall asleep,

[1:26:49] I then feel an obligation to go back and actually watch the movie rather than if we're all watching

[1:26:55] it together. We're just like, we're not going to go back. Let Dan watch the rest of this movie.

[1:27:00] We're just going to barrel ahead and and Dan will be surprised by to learn what happened after he.

[1:27:06] Yeah, that's a lot of dreamland. I don't know why I'm talking about myself in the third person so

[1:27:10] much, but. I don't think I have other suspicions, though, about you guys. No, not related to the

[1:27:18] podcast. Yeah, no. All right, well, moving on, then this letter is from Jared, who writes,

[1:27:28] Dear Peaches, what would Hallie do? Hallie whispered Kushner as if she was afraid saying

[1:27:36] his name out loud. He would appear in the room. Summon him. OK, well, we got two questions here.

[1:27:42] They're both short and sweet. Dear Peaches, do you think Slimer has a smell?

[1:27:48] I was assumed ectoplasm was odorless, but surely all those hot dogs have some effect.

[1:27:53] Got to smell like hot dogs, right? If he's lucky, if he's lucky, he smells like hot dogs.

[1:27:57] And his original name was Onion Head. So do you think he smells like onions because of that?

[1:28:01] Or do you think it was just. What?

[1:28:04] That was the name of the puppet was Onion Head. He wasn't named Slimer until like what,

[1:28:10] the animated show. Dan's pulling out all his first date information.

[1:28:15] Well, I'm looking at Elliot for help and he's giving me none.

[1:28:18] You think that the man who's in charge of a Ghostbusters property would like,

[1:28:22] know something about Ghostbusters? I know on screen canon. I don't I don't know behind the

[1:28:29] scenes nicknames, you know, but I do assume that Slimer smells like John Belushi since

[1:28:33] Slimer was is somewhat based on the idea of John Belushi. Oh, so you do know some

[1:28:38] trivia about Slimer. The idea of John Belushi. Based on the idea of John Belushi. Based on the

[1:28:43] vibe. OK, well, we can move on to the second question, which will hopefully prove less

[1:28:48] contentious. No, I will go on the record saying, yes, I do think ghosts smell, but continue.

[1:28:54] Also, why do old comics show someone wearing a barrel to signify they're broke?

[1:28:59] Wouldn't a barrel cost more than clothes? Sorry if these questions are too emotional for the show.

[1:29:04] Well, the first one, actually, I think I'm worried about this next one. I mean,

[1:29:08] I assume that these are barrels, you know, from a time when barrels were used more frequently.

[1:29:13] These are discarded barrels. That's what I was going to say. There was a time when

[1:29:16] it was a lot easier to get your hands on a on a waste barrel. These aren't crate and barrel

[1:29:21] crate and barrel. No, no. Yeah. Those would be expensive. This is. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

[1:29:25] People like barrel rights were like spread out across the ground like you couldn't throw a

[1:29:31] stone without hitting a barrel. Right. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then and they'd be mad you're

[1:29:36] wearing one because that's a barrel wrong. That's not how you use that barrel. But I think, yeah,

[1:29:40] it is from a time when when things were shipped in wood more often than they are now. Yeah.

[1:29:45] The suspenders you used to suspend that barrel over yourself, those that was you have to pay

[1:29:51] for those. That's the problem. But what do you use like leather straps or leather? I think it

[1:29:56] looks like leather. Yeah. I mean, that's strong enough probably to hold up a barrel if you use

[1:30:00] something that's too delicate it's just gonna snap and the barrel fall down

[1:30:03] everyone will see you yeah yeah yeah if it's elastic though you get to go like

[1:30:07] whoo yeah zooms up and down on you we're like yeah get strega Nona to give you

[1:30:13] some of her fucking spaghetti make the straps out of spaghetti straps I forgot

[1:30:21] spaghetti strap dresses started with actual spaghetti that's true yeah back

[1:30:28] when strega Nona chic was all the rage in Paris yeah okay well this has been a

[1:30:32] surprisingly angry letters I don't know why we're so mad at each other it's

[1:30:36] David who's done this to us let's move on to two recommendations movies that we

[1:30:42] watched recently that we might recommend I'm gonna for the spooky season I'm

[1:30:48] gonna recommend a horror movie I'm gonna buckle your freak belt I'm going to

[1:30:52] I'm gonna specify that in this case I'm recommending what I think was a good bad

[1:30:57] horror movie this is not you know I'm not saying this is a quality film

[1:31:02] necessarily but it was fun to watch I watched flesh eater from 1988 a movie

[1:31:08] that was written and directed and kind of stars the guy who was the original

[1:31:13] cemetery ghoul in night of the living dead the one that appears after he says

[1:31:19] they're coming to get you Barbara and so he was like hey I can make a zombie

[1:31:25] movie too and he also is in this zombie movie as I guess the same goal oh cool

[1:31:33] in the movie in a lot of ways not cool cool oh okay that makes sense the movie

[1:31:38] in a lot of ways feels like just a remake of night of the living dead but

[1:31:44] like sleazier like more motivated night living dead but as sleazy as return of

[1:31:51] living dead or or around that level uh there's more unmotivated nude scenes in

[1:31:56] this like there's more like weirds like you know there's like child death and

[1:32:02] this is this feels like a like a real like low-budget uh you know programmer

[1:32:07] but it's also really silly like it's a if you're looking for a movie that will

[1:32:12] have you sort of scratch your head and saying what at the screen every few

[1:32:16] minutes you know dial-up flesh eater you might enjoy it how do you watch this

[1:32:20] one I saw to be it's a treasure to be treasure to keep with the spooky theme

[1:32:26] I'm gonna recommend a terrifying little tale called his three daughters who know

[1:32:33] it's about three daughters reconnecting while their father passes away in the

[1:32:38] next room oh it's not spooky at all it's very sad but it does star Carrie Coon uh

[1:32:46] Natasha Lyonne uh and uh Elizabeth Olsen they're great all three of them are

[1:32:52] great and it is feels like a very New York story I love a kind of a single

[1:32:59] location movie where you really get a feel of the apartment that they're in

[1:33:03] and watching their like learning about their relationship is it unfolds through

[1:33:09] dialogue it feels very much like a play put on screen but in a good way I thought

[1:33:15] it was really charming and sad and great and I liked watching those three

[1:33:19] actresses his three daughters I thought we were going to continue with the

[1:33:24] Halloween spooky movies theme but uh you know I'll return to it even though it

[1:33:28] seems like we're not doing that this time that's right I'm giving Stewart

[1:33:32] unnecessary criticism there's no reason for it

[1:33:34] I'm wearing fucking glad you love the glasses face it's the glasses he loves

[1:33:39] it yeah yeah yeah I have an Elliot be mean to me not a damn be mean to me no

[1:33:45] no no so uh the do you like being dominated by a guy who's smaller than

[1:33:50] you that's the thing so I watched a movie recently is it a movie from the

[1:33:56] Czech Republic or at the time Czechoslovakia yes of course it is but

[1:33:59] it's kind of like a fun Halloween II type movie it's called the girl on the

[1:34:02] broomstick it's from 1972 and it's kind of like a Czechoslovak version of the

[1:34:07] kinds of supernatural fantasy comedies that Disney would put out in the like

[1:34:11] 60s and early 70s and this girl Saxana she is a she's at a school for witches

[1:34:18] and she has to and she she's at a school for witches she goes to the regular

[1:34:26] human world and has to figure out how to cast the spell that will make it so that

[1:34:31] she doesn't have to return to the witch world before she wants to and there's a

[1:34:35] lot of goofy stuff that happens and a lot of silly things with that with magic

[1:34:39] going awry and just kind of like a short fun kind of like silly movie very

[1:34:44] colorful and very light but still has some of that check edge to it you know

[1:34:50] so I really enjoyed a lot it's just a fun movie to watch that has a Halloween II

[1:34:54] feel but it's not scary and that if my kids would read subtitles I would show

[1:35:00] it to them but I think that they probably will not so that's the girl on

[1:35:03] the broomstick you should just get you should just get Bong Joon-ho to come

[1:35:06] over and explain to your kids why they should watch movies with subtitles oh

[1:35:10] yeah that's that's a good idea I'll just call it Bong I'll just dial a Bong and

[1:35:14] get Bong Joon-ho to come over. Hallie? Text. Maybe text. Yeah. Oh yeah I don't know you guys I don't know. Oh no we sent her into a spiral. I guess a movie I've been thinking about a lot

[1:35:29] recently is the original scenes from a marriage have you guys watched that I've

[1:35:34] actually never seen it the Ingmar Bergman yeah I've never actually seen I've been

[1:35:37] meaning to for a long time it's very long but it's really good. It's a TV series right

[1:35:40] originally was it I think so um but I don't know it was like eight hours or

[1:35:47] something so that makes more sense um but it's you watched it all the way

[1:35:51] through you didn't know how long it was you're like I'll go to bed when this is

[1:35:54] over no no kids are like mommy we need to go to school no no but one of the big

[1:36:05] themes that they revisit is this the husband being disappointed with how he's

[1:36:11] turned out he always thought he'd be great and then he doesn't wind up being

[1:36:16] great and his wife is sick of hearing him complain about it so you're saying I

[1:36:19] would I would find myself represented in this movie I'm saying I've been

[1:36:24] thinking about it a lot so maybe you should plug your newsletter oh sure

[1:36:32] check out my newsletter that hurts my feelings on substack I I really this

[1:36:40] this household always rushes to read Hallie's newsletter whenever it is right

[1:36:44] the same thing here when it when it shows up in my email inbox I read it

[1:36:47] right away I never let it sit and it's always really good hilarious and also

[1:36:53] brutally honest brutally really got to start being careful about the my audience

[1:36:59] and Eagle Rock is growing so I got I've had a few texts that say I feel famous

[1:37:08] when a newsletter so yeah gotta find some new content to hurt my feelings

[1:37:16] to me driving to nearby cities and have your feelings hurt elsewhere exactly I

[1:37:23] feel like you're gonna have you go through the thing that a lot of like

[1:37:26] kind of memoir writers do where they write a memoir that's about their life

[1:37:28] and people love it and then they're like the next book is about like uh well I

[1:37:31] traveled the country trying barbecue at all the national parks with some reason

[1:37:38] to be doing things yeah I'm gonna be a real canals guard figure not to be

[1:37:45] confused with Mouse Guard the comic book about mice yeah yeah my struggle by the

[1:37:52] mouse well that's another shocktober for the books as always we're really movies

[1:38:02] the movies too the energy always is great with Hallie here thanks for having

[1:38:17] me guys I always love to be here hey I think what do I say at the end here I

[1:38:23] say thank you to maximum fun thanks to our network maximum our network why not

[1:38:28] try some of the other maximum fun shows there's a lot of great ones why not thank

[1:38:31] our producer Alex Smith who might well thank you sound good yeah Dan you should

[1:38:35] do and tell remember Dan to tell people they should check him out online as how

[1:38:38] will Dottie the name under all remember that is it he has a new album out now

[1:38:42] which is called I need some help right mm-hmm yeah you should tell them about

[1:38:46] that you might mention that a great another thing you should probably

[1:38:49] mention is that if people like this show why not give us a review on wherever you

[1:38:53] listen to podcasts that'd be a great yeah a positive review would really help

[1:38:56] us spread the word about the show or you know what like hey tell one person in

[1:39:01] in real life meet space that you think might enjoy this thing hey I love this

[1:39:06] podcast maybe you'd like it as well if everyone did that you know I mean only a

[1:39:12] small fraction of people would actually listen to that advice but that's still a

[1:39:16] lot so thank you if you do that if only if only 1% of all the people in the

[1:39:22] world listen to this show that's still hundreds of millions of people right or

[1:39:27] like tens of millions sounding yeah a lot of pressure I'd have to have to be

[1:39:33] all funnier yeah we'd all have to step up our game yeah you know what don't

[1:39:37] tell anybody uh no no do I rely on it anyway uh this has been great for the

[1:39:46] flop house I've been Dan McCoy yeah I've been Stuart Wellington I've been Elliot

[1:39:50] Kaelin saying see you at the next episode of flop TV and I've been Hallie

[1:39:54] Haglund okay bye

[1:40:00] Wait, you guys don't remember 1, 2, 3, 4, roll it up a little more, 5, 6, 7, 8, sorry

[1:40:17] boys, it's coffee break.

[1:40:18] No.

[1:40:19] What are we rolling up?

[1:40:20] Because it was about rolling up your shirt.

[1:40:21] Your shirt.

[1:40:22] Why are you rolling?

[1:40:23] What?

[1:40:24] I don't understand.

[1:40:25] Yeah, it was like a...

[1:40:26] Yeah.

[1:40:27] How far are you rolling this shirt?

[1:40:28] It's right until the point, and then it's coffee break.

[1:40:32] Oh, I see.

[1:40:33] Maybe this is a Colorado thing.

[1:40:34] No, I don't think...

[1:40:35] So wait.

[1:40:36] Wait.

[1:40:37] What is this?

[1:40:38] This is a thing that people did to tease boys?

[1:40:39] Boys.

[1:40:40] To tease the boys.

[1:40:41] Yeah.

[1:40:42] Girls do it to tease boys.

[1:40:43] Oh.

[1:40:44] Yeah.

[1:40:45] Interesting.

[1:40:46] You know, all the things are the same still.

[1:40:48] My five-year-old is now going, hey, mom, want me to count to 100?

[1:40:52] 1, 2, skip a few, 99, 100, and it's like, I can't believe these things are so timeless.

[1:40:58] And then she did a jab, and then rode her Heelys out of the room, and you're like, oh, fuck.

Ep.#436 - Dear David, with Hallie Haglund

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