The Flop House: Episode 20 - Premonition

[0:00] On this episode of the Flophouse, we discuss Premonition, starring Sandra Bullock and a dead crow.

[0:31] Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:34] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:35] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[0:36] So, Elliot's back.

[0:38] Yeah.

[0:39] All right.

[0:40] That's about it.

[0:41] Boy, am I glad.

[0:42] Way to go. Yeah, sure.

[0:44] Well, now that we've put that behind us, immediately.

[0:48] The listeners can't hear, but in homage to the Backstreet's Back music video,

[0:53] I am dressed up as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in one body, split down the middle.

[0:58] And Stuart is a mummy, and Dan is also a mummy.

[1:02] I guess they didn't really coordinate that well.

[1:04] I thought you were dressed up as...

[1:06] I'm a sexy mummy.

[1:08] Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde, or what was that fucking...

[1:10] Starring Shawn Young, Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde.

[1:12] Yeah, that's the one.

[1:13] Or maybe Jekyll and Hyde together again.

[1:14] Tim Bailey.

[1:15] There's so many Jekyll and Hyde movies.

[1:17] Yeah.

[1:18] Did you say femalian?

[1:19] Yeah.

[1:20] No, not femalian. Come on.

[1:22] Elliot's dressed as Jekyll and Hyde, the racist crows.

[1:25] Sure, though.

[1:27] Appropriately appropriate.

[1:28] Send him your hate mail.

[1:31] What movie did we watch tonight, Stuart?

[1:33] We watched the movie called Premonition, starring Sandra Bullock.

[1:37] And?

[1:38] And Julian McMahon from Nip Tuck, which is a fucking trashy program.

[1:45] Yeah, I prefer to think of him as Dr. Julian Von Doom.

[1:48] Oh my god.

[1:49] Wait, isn't he the dictator of...

[1:52] Julian Von Doom.

[1:53] The dictator of Latveria?

[1:55] Yeah, that's true.

[1:56] Did I say it right this time, Elliot?

[1:58] You did.

[1:59] I was glad that was corrected in the last podcast.

[2:01] Didn't Ultron destroy that?

[2:03] No, he destroyed another country that was a fictional Eastern European country that was just created for that storyline.

[2:10] We are losing our few non-nerd listeners.

[2:13] He killed everyone in the country, and then the Avengers came to fight him.

[2:16] And Thor broke through the wall and said, Ultron, we would have words with thee.

[2:20] Oh, I saw that in Wizard.

[2:22] It was their moment of the year.

[2:24] Yeah, it was.

[2:26] I even like comics, and I'm passing out right now.

[2:30] It was the highlight of the Buziak-Perez run, but anyway, you were saying?

[2:33] Julian McMahon was Sandra Bullock's husband, and that's important because half the time, Sandra Bullock's husband was dead in this film.

[2:41] Yeah.

[2:42] Half the time, he was alive.

[2:43] And not like you would think, where he dies halfway through the movie.

[2:45] No.

[2:46] It was split up back and forth, jumping around a lot.

[2:48] That was pretty much the premise of the film.

[2:50] The premise of Premonition.

[2:54] Premonition.

[2:55] That was almost a pun.

[2:56] It was not.

[2:57] Can somebody explain it for me because, frankly, I got lost pretty quickly.

[3:00] Basically, it's like Groundhog Day, but instead of Bill Murray's character learning how to love, it was Sandra Bullock's character learning, I don't know, that there was a god or something.

[3:10] She wakes up one morning, and her husband is dead, and then she wakes up again the next day, and he's alive.

[3:15] And no one remembers that he was supposed to have died, and she starts jumping back and forth in time whenever she goes to sleep to the future or the past.

[3:22] All revolving around his dying in a car accident and everything.

[3:26] Oh, there are all these things that she can't explain how they happened.

[3:29] And as she moves forward in time, they start to happen, and she's worried about her husband and so forth.

[3:34] You should also replace all the hilarious Bill Murray jokes with a lot of long shots of Sandra Bullock doing the laundry, driving her kids to school.

[3:43] Yeah, picking up the groceries with her boyfriend.

[3:45] You know, just really normal, boring, suburban housewife sorts of things.

[3:48] You really got the idea that she was a housewife in this.

[3:50] Also that she was afraid of dead birds.

[3:52] Yeah, she throws away a dead crow or something.

[3:54] She finds one in her backyard, and she freaks out and smears blood all over the windows.

[3:57] Yeah, I want to talk about that.

[3:59] It's jumping ahead a little bit, but the scene where she falls on a dead crow.

[4:03] She's doing her laundry.

[4:04] She trips over something.

[4:06] She's hanging her sheets up to dry in the backyard on a clothesline.

[4:10] Like a housewife.

[4:11] She's jumping back and forth between a couple days in the present, but in her backyard, I guess it's 1932, and she doesn't have a dryer yet.

[4:19] I like to assume these are like 1,500-pound silk sheets.

[4:25] You know, these are amazing sheets.

[4:27] These are not sheets you want to put in a dryer.

[4:29] Yeah, no, she's really got to put these sheets outside.

[4:31] All right.

[4:32] Yeah, that's what you do with good sheets.

[4:34] But anyway, so she's hanging up sheets, and she trips and falls, and her hand falls on a dead bird.

[4:38] Dead crow.

[4:39] Gross.

[4:40] Gross.

[4:41] The film treats this as literally the worst thing that could ever happen.

[4:43] It's pretty gross.

[4:44] This is in a movie where she thinks her husband is dead, and her daughter appears, her young daughter appears with scars all over her face.

[4:50] Yeah, that's to the point, Elliot.

[4:52] I mean, I agree with Stuart.

[4:54] If I, in the course of my normal day-to-day life, if I fell on a dead crow and got dead crow blood all over my hands, I would freak out.

[5:03] Yeah.

[5:04] But in a movie where my husband is dead and then he's alive.

[5:08] She has bigger things to worry about than death.

[5:11] If my husband was dead and alive, I'd be living a different lifestyle.

[5:14] But also, I assume that I would love my gay husband in that situation.

[5:17] Would Julian McMahon be your husband?

[5:19] Oh, I could only hope.

[5:21] Yeah.

[5:22] You saw he had some guns.

[5:23] He wore that sleeveless shirt at one point.

[5:25] Yeah, I think that's called a wife-beater, Elliot.

[5:27] Well, we can't assume that the character beat his wife, but they did have a bad relationship.

[5:30] Yeah, but that's the name of the shirt.

[5:32] Yeah, I think you could pull Julian McMahon.

[5:35] Like, he's got kind of weird eyebrows.

[5:37] You think I could pull Julian McMahon?

[5:40] Yeah, I don't think that's going too above.

[5:41] You're not punching too above your weight class on that one.

[5:43] No, thanks.

[5:44] No, I appreciate that.

[5:45] Just a little bit.

[5:46] Okay, so she smashes a crow, and it's gross, and then she throws it away.

[5:50] She wrongs inside.

[5:51] In a Native American crow burial ceremony of throwing it in the garbage.

[5:56] But she manages to smear crow blood all over the sliding glass doors on her way inside.

[6:01] She's got bigger things on her mind than keeping her windows clean.

[6:05] If I had crow blood all over me, I think I'd be pretty careful about that.

[6:08] You'd be like, oh, let me use my other hand to open this.

[6:10] Yeah.

[6:11] Like, I'm freaked out, but let's keep our heads.

[6:14] More ominous that way.

[6:15] I think that the theme of the movie was Sandra Bullock freaking out at things,

[6:18] and then staring pensively, and other people overreacting to her freaking out.

[6:22] She wakes up, and her husband is dead, wakes up again, her husband's alive,

[6:26] wakes up again, her husband's dead, and the funeral's going on, and she's confused.

[6:30] Like, what happened?

[6:31] How did this happen?

[6:32] I don't believe that he's really dead.

[6:34] And they're like, oh, honey, well, we better submit you to a mental hospital,

[6:37] and then that will make you better.

[6:38] Yeah, Peter Stormare is there as the world's creepiest therapist.

[6:42] The world's creepiest and least important to the plot therapist.

[6:45] You could have removed him from the movie, and it would not have changed things very much.

[6:48] Yeah, but immediately upon her freaking out at her husband's funeral,

[6:52] a place where I assume that people freak out.

[6:55] What's great, at the funeral, she demands that they open the casket to show her

[7:01] so that she knows for sure that her husband's dead.

[7:04] That's against protocol, dude.

[7:07] Usually they do allow you some time with the body before the burial so that you can make peace.

[7:13] Well, it is out in the street, but they should have let her see the body before that.

[7:15] But this is how unprofessional these morticians are, is they start unloading the coffin to agree to this demand,

[7:20] and they let it slip out of their hands, and it falls and shatters, and his head rolls out of the coffin.

[7:26] And that's bad embalmment right there.

[7:29] You should have attached the head.

[7:31] It's not bad embalming.

[7:33] Even if it's a closed casket funeral.

[7:35] Morticinary.

[7:36] I mean, they should have sewed the head back on.

[7:38] That's part of the embalming process.

[7:39] The actual embalming, I'm assuming.

[7:41] Maybe they did a great job keeping the tissue fresh for the burial.

[7:45] But his head, come on, they didn't even reattach.

[7:47] It's literally like, and the people holding the coffin slips out of their hands so easily,

[7:51] it's like the whole funeral home is run by interns or something.

[7:55] Sorry, sorry, he's just here for the summer.

[7:57] Oh, man.

[7:58] The thing is, in their defense, I mean, the way it was shot,

[8:01] you just saw the thing crash on the ground and then a head bounce off the ground.

[8:04] That could have been somebody throwing a novelty joke head on the ground.

[8:08] It could have been someone else's head.

[8:09] I don't know.

[8:10] I mean, they didn't really introduce like a prankster character,

[8:13] but they didn't say that there weren't pranksters in the town.

[8:17] You have to assume that they're there unless they're said otherwise.

[8:20] There was a whole subplot that was cut about how this was like a crooked funeral home,

[8:24] and they were burying as many people in one casket as possible.

[8:27] Oh, I thought there was a subplot about that town is the rubberhead capital of America,

[8:32] and there's a bad economy, so the rubberhead factory is going under.

[8:36] So I guess to gin up publicity for the rubberheads, remind people they should buy them,

[8:40] they're just chucking them into the street.

[8:42] And that scene makes much less sense because they removed that.

[8:45] It was a failed promotion.

[8:46] People were freaking out.

[8:48] There were a lot of car accidents.

[8:49] People were swerving to avoid what they assumed were real heads.

[8:52] Real heads, yeah.

[8:53] And you were mentioning how the pallbearers in this situation were all interns,

[8:57] and it seemed like almost every professional in this movie that filled any kind of role was underage.

[9:03] They all looked like they were 17.

[9:05] The priest at the funeral looked like he was about 16, and we see an old priest later on.

[9:11] I don't know why they just didn't save a salary, buddy.

[9:14] Have that same actor do two parts.

[9:16] I thought that guy was studying.

[9:19] The old priest was studying upon premonition-based miracles.

[9:23] He was too busy reading about occult legends.

[9:25] They go to an insurance office a couple times because it's a semi-clue,

[9:29] and the guy running the place is kind of like BJ Novak in the first season of The Office.

[9:34] He just looks much too young to be doing the job he's supposed to be doing.

[9:38] But the point originally was that Peter Stormare is not a young professional, by the way.

[9:44] No, he is an old professional.

[9:46] He's got the creepiest haircut you can imagine.

[9:48] Yeah, well, he's got a beard and real short hair.

[9:50] Real short hair and basically like shaved sides to his hair.

[9:53] Yeah, it looks like it was like, oh, you called me away from my survivalist militia?

[9:58] I got a cut to support you.

[10:00] I thought you were going to say, ìYou called me away in the middle of my barbering.î

[10:04] I was shaving my head.

[10:07] I just shaved around from ear to ear and then they stopped.

[10:11] When the guy gets up from the barber chair and heís half shaved and he points the gun

[10:15] at Clint Eastwood.

[10:16] But sheís basically committed and sheís not taken to a nice hospital where, ìOh,

[10:24] youíve got to calm down a little.

[10:25] Weíre going to give you some Xanax or Valium or whatever.î Itís like, ìNo, weíre going

[10:30] to immediately take you to session nine.î

[10:33] They cover her to a bench in a hallway.

[10:35] Then they strap her to a table and start injecting, I guess, a sedative or something.

[10:39] Maybe itís sodium pentothal to find out if sheíll tell the truth.

[10:42] Nurse Ratched is in charge.

[10:43] Itís really sort of alarming.

[10:45] But all sheís done is kind of react violently to the fact that her husband has died, which

[10:49] seems like a normal thing.

[10:50] I think they were injecting the black stuff from the X-Files.

[10:55] Hey, welcome to X-Files.

[10:57] We had to check the crowd to see if Peter Stormer was playing Alex Krychek.

[11:00] But X-Files is a movie coming out this summer.

[11:03] Maybe theyíll sponsor us.

[11:06] Chris Carter?

[11:07] Chris Carterís Harsh Realm, this summer on Fox.

[11:10] Millennium, out on DVD.

[11:12] Viper, this summer on Fox.

[11:14] Millennium is on Fox? Itís not on DVD?

[11:18] Viper wasnít a Chris Carter show.

[11:20] Wasnít it with Tim Pumpkinhead?

[11:22] Pumpkinhead, yeah.

[11:23] Well, Pumpkinhead is technically the monster of Pumpkinhead.

[11:27] Lance Henriksen is the human character.

[11:29] Itís gotten all screwed up, like Frankenstein.

[11:32] You meet him, I want you to say, ìHey, Pumpkinhead, itís nice to meet you.î

[11:37] Youíre my favorite actor, Pumpkinhead.

[11:41] A lot of people that make that mistake.

[11:43] Iím actually Dr. Pumpkinhead.

[11:45] The monster was Pumpkinhead.

[11:47] I want you to call him Pumpkinhead and then think that Pumpkinhead was actually the movie

[11:51] Pumpkin with Christina Ricci where she falls in love with a retarded guy.

[11:54] And Lance Henriksen will say, ìThereís a number of different problems youíre having with this right now.î

[11:59] Benny and June is too crazy for you.

[12:01] Let me explain several things.

[12:03] Number one, let me explain the difference between an actor and his part.

[12:06] Number two, let me explain the difference between the word pumpkin and Pumpkinhead.

[12:10] So does Pumpkinhead live with you now?

[12:12] Wait, wait, wait.

[12:14] If Benny and June wasnít the movie where two retarded people fall in love,

[12:17] what was that movie with Giovanni Ribisi?

[12:21] Okay, and thereís retarded people in that movie, right?

[12:24] Yes, ìUntamed Heart.î

[12:26] No, thatís the difference.

[12:28] Thatís the movie where that guy gets a baboon heart.

[12:30] Yeah.

[12:31] That guy being Christmas later, right?

[12:32] According to the screen entertainment circle in 1998,

[12:34] Richard Pett was a baboon heart.

[12:36] Nice.

[12:37] No.

[12:38] Well, youíre thinking of ìFrequencyî starring Jim Caviezel.

[12:40] But anyway.

[12:41] Wait.

[12:42] Heís retarded?

[12:43] Oh, he was in that Big Fish movie, right?

[12:45] Based on his performance in ìPassion of the Christ.î

[12:47] But anyway, letís get back toÖ

[12:49] Always with your anti-religious sentiment, Dan,

[12:52] which brings me to the surprising religious theme of ìPremonition.î

[12:57] So after a while, flipping back and forthÖ

[12:59] Itís like youíre changing the channels betweenÖ

[13:01] Itís like when I was growing up,

[13:03] Channel 11 and TBS would both show ìSaved by the Bellî,

[13:06] but TBS would start five minutes later.

[13:08] So if it was the same episode of ìSaved by the Bellî,

[13:10] you could watch five minutes, then flip back to TBS and watch the same five minutes.

[13:14] This was like that, like ìPremonitionî was on two different channels,

[13:17] and you were flipping back and forth between them.

[13:19] Right, one had started at 6 oíclock, and one had startedÖ

[13:23] At like 6.15.

[13:24] Yeah, exactly.

[13:25] It didnít feel like a well-made movie.

[13:26] I think it would have fit more if one channel was showing the early years of ìSaved by the Bellî

[13:30] where theyíre still in Indiana.

[13:31] Yeah, okay.

[13:32] And Hayley Mills was still the teacher.

[13:35] Back when it was ìGood Morning, Miss Bliss.î

[13:37] Sure, yeah.

[13:38] Oh, man.

[13:39] That reveals a lot about us.

[13:41] Listen, if we want to talk about ìSaved by the Bellî, Iím not ashamed.

[13:44] How did the whole school and all the students move to California?

[13:46] Thatís what I want to know.

[13:47] That is really weird.

[13:48] What I think is sad is that when the class, when theyíre graduating,

[13:52] they put together a time capsule, the only people who put anything in it are the main characters.

[13:58] This is sad.

[13:59] Theyíre really the only students at the school.

[14:00] Iím just sad that youíre asked to sympathize with basically a dick,

[14:04] like the main character of ìSaved by the Bellî.

[14:06] Zack Norris is a dick?

[14:07] What are you talking about?

[14:08] He was Adobe Gillis for the ë90s, or the late ë80s, I guess.

[14:10] That guy.

[14:11] What?

[14:12] He had a cool phone.

[14:13] It was a big, gray, blocky mobile phone.

[14:15] And he could stop time.

[14:16] He could stop time occasionally to talk to the audience.

[14:18] Sure.

[14:19] He was friends with a nerd and a jock.

[14:21] He could bridge the gap.

[14:22] Yep.

[14:23] The nerd had a robot.

[14:24] He wasnít really friends with the nerd.

[14:25] He was better friends with the nerd than he was with the jock.

[14:28] He had a rivalry with the jock.

[14:29] His girlfriend at one point left him for an older guy who worked at The Max.

[14:32] And he was kind enough to take in a homeless family into his house on Christmas,

[14:36] though they were never heard or seen of again.

[14:38] Youíre not going to sell me on Zack Norris, so we should get back to him.

[14:41] He was in that Sci-Fi Channel original movie about the Frankenstein monster.

[14:44] Again, youíre confusing the actor with the character.

[14:46] Mr. Patches, whatever it was called.

[14:47] Sure, that sounds right.

[14:48] He was on NYPD Blue.

[14:49] No.

[14:50] Zack Norris is a good guy.

[14:51] Heís a cop now.

[14:52] Different.

[14:53] No, just the same actor.

[14:54] Mark Paul Gosselier.

[14:55] Ryan Gosling?

[14:56] Well, should we skip to the ending, or should we keep talking about it?

[14:59] Well, no, I thinkÖ

[15:00] Before we skip to the endingÖ

[15:01] Iím surprised, Stuart.

[15:02] Before we skip to the ending, we should talk about what you started to bring up,

[15:07] which is the surprising religious content to this film.

[15:10] After all the switching back and forth for timeÖ

[15:13] Frankly, I thought it was a breath of fresh air.

[15:16] I thought this movie was a littleÖ

[15:19] Finally.

[15:20] Religious.

[15:21] Finally, Hollywood.

[15:22] Holly weird.

[15:23] Yeah, tell me about it.

[15:24] Holly Wood, W-O-U-L-D.

[15:26] Forget about God if they could, but they canít.

[15:28] But she goesÖ Sheís having premonitions, she realizes.

[15:34] She puts together a chart of the days of the week and marks off what she knows happens

[15:39] each day.

[15:40] This is the only clever thing in the entire movie.

[15:42] Yeah, no, I like it.

[15:43] She pulls out a piece of butcher paper and basically justÖ

[15:46] Crow blood still on it.

[15:48] Yeah, just like a little chart, like you mightÖ

[15:51] You know, just your average list ofÖ

[15:53] Like a Hollywood screenwriter trying to figure out his fucking complicated movieÖ

[15:56] Exactly.

[15:57] That he canít keep track of.

[15:58] What day does this thing happen on?

[16:00] Jack Nicholson was writing this movie, apparently.

[16:03] Oh, jeez, Iím writing this movie.

[16:05] What day is it going on?

[16:07] Sandra, I got a good part for it and so forth.

[16:10] Sandy.

[16:11] I do the worst Jack Nicholson impression.

[16:12] Yeah, that was really bad, actually.

[16:13] Yeah, I do.

[16:14] Come on, Dan.

[16:15] Where are you at?

[16:16] Whereís your Michael Caine or something?

[16:18] I think that this premonition film was the greatest film since The Swarm.

[16:23] People ask me all the time, whatís this premonition about, Alfie?

[16:26] I canít tell them.

[16:27] I canít.

[16:29] Well, you see, and so forth.

[16:31] Anyway, so she puts together this chart.

[16:33] She knows sheís jumping back and forth through time somehow.

[16:36] She goes toÖ

[16:37] Okay, you realize youíre seeing the future.

[16:40] You donít know what to do.

[16:41] You canít go to the psychologist because heís just going to lock you up.

[16:44] Who do you go to?

[16:45] The family priest whoís never been introduced in the film before.

[16:48] Absolutely.

[16:49] And he happens to have a book called, I assume, Premonitions Through History,

[16:53] that has different examples of famous premonitions that have happened in legend.

[16:57] Bookmarked with post-it notes.

[16:58] Bookmarked.

[16:59] And I wondered if the actor bookmarked it or the character bookmarked it.

[17:02] If he was supposed to remove those before shooting started.

[17:04] One of the same.

[17:05] So if you have an occult question, go to your priest,

[17:07] because I guess theyíre all involved in that culture.

[17:09] Well, you know, everything supernatural is the same.

[17:11] GhostsÖ

[17:13] Goblins.

[17:14] Ghosts and goblins.

[17:15] The Hercules.

[17:16] The Illuminati.

[17:17] Wolfmans.

[17:18] Jesus.

[17:19] Itís all the same thing.

[17:20] Aliens.

[17:21] Aliens, Jesus, poltergeists and poltergosts, all the same thing.

[17:27] The real Ghostbusters.

[17:29] The real Ghostbusters.

[17:30] And the other Ghostbusters that had a gorilla,

[17:33] which ironically predated the real Ghostbusters.

[17:36] Boogeymans.

[17:37] Boogeymans.

[17:38] Manís Chinese Theater.

[17:40] The Tooth Fairy.

[17:41] And Sandy Claws.

[17:43] Man-thing.

[17:44] And Batman-thing.

[17:46] Howard the Duck.

[17:47] Itís all part of the same thing.

[17:49] General, supernatural.

[17:50] Sure.

[17:51] So I would go to my priest to talk about that stuff, right, Dan?

[17:54] Apparently.

[17:55] Dan, I assume youíre the most Christian of any of us.

[17:57] My father was a minister.

[17:59] My uncleís a minister.

[18:01] My two grandfathers were both ministers.

[18:03] So do any of them have books about premonitions?

[18:06] Oh, man, all over the house.

[18:08] Itís premonitions through history.

[18:10] Itís medieval premonitions.

[18:11] Itís premonitions in the modern world.

[18:13] I have to imagineÖ

[18:14] You get forwarded emails like,

[18:16] ìHey, check out this information about a cool new premonition.î

[18:19] Iíve got so many copies of the Necronomicon just lying around.

[18:22] Holy shit.

[18:23] I imagine when you join the seminary, the first textbooks areÖ

[18:25] Are they by the mad Arab?

[18:27] Abdul-Alhazred, yes.

[18:29] The first books they give you are the ìTime, Life, Mysteries, and Wondersî series.

[18:34] They say, ìYouíre here to preach the word of the Lord and to testify for Christ.

[18:39] Read about how aliens built the pyramids.î

[18:41] But letís tell the audience, though, about the fucking great advice that the priest gives Sandra Bullock.

[18:48] Do it. You might remember more than me.

[18:49] I donít know. I was drinking.

[18:50] It was something about, ìYour faith has lapsed, so something is coming to fill the void.î

[18:55] Or something like that.

[18:56] Yeah, exactly. Something is coming to fill the void.

[18:58] She says, ìSounds like a curse.î

[18:59] And he goes, ìOr maybe a miracle.î

[19:01] So itís a miracle that she is basically Billy Pilgrimed and unstuck in time

[19:06] and doesnít know what the fuck is happening.

[19:07] But also itís a really mean miracle.

[19:09] Itís like sheís being punished for not going to church

[19:12] by getting premonitions of her husbandís death.

[19:17] Itís a really sort of vague way of God discerning his will.

[19:21] Like, ìYou havenít been to church in a while.î

[19:24] Maybe your husband should die and you should know about it ahead of time.

[19:27] But also she didnít strike me as particularly irreligious.

[19:31] She didnít go to church, but there was never a conversation like,

[19:33] ìOh, weíve got to go to church.î

[19:35] ìNah, forget that.î

[19:36] ìWhatís this, a cross?î

[19:37] Like peas all over it.

[19:39] Letís just talk on a basic screenplay level.

[19:42] This stinks to high heaven of the screenwriterís like,

[19:45] ìAll right, Iíve got this awesome premise that could go somewhere.

[19:48] Iíve got to explain it somehow.î

[19:50] ìI got nothing.î

[19:51] I guess Iíll say God did it.

[19:52] Yeah, itís God.

[19:53] God.

[19:54] I got the audience in the seat for an hour or so.

[19:59] I better explain now.

[20:00] what's going on at six o'clock i put in a full day of writing it's god time to have a few beers

[20:05] by this point they're going to be so wrapped up in the amazingly intricate and enthralling story

[20:09] they're going to swallow whatever bullshit i can shovel down their throats you know oh god you

[20:13] devil in front of me who started oh god you devil george burns no the other the other guy the guy

[20:19] who was it was the guy from blossom the guy from john violet yes the dad i don't i don't have a

[20:24] dictionary definition of the term miracle but i think it's when the u.s team defeats a russian

[20:29] team in the 1980 winter olympics hockey that's a good example in webster's or it's in the smile

[20:35] of a small child or it's a perfectly brewed cup of coffee or it's it's uh going to cvs pharmacy

[20:42] because it's just another ordinary miracle today or according to the ads or it's the

[20:47] laughter of your loved ones so wait would your husband or it's a kind of whip or it's a kind

[20:52] of whip miracle whip but it's the kind of they're all miracles according but yeah the bible the

[20:57] movie posits i guess anything god does is a miracle even if it's bad yeah well anytime it's

[21:02] magic related right yes that was pretty much that's basically it yeah if they find a quarter

[21:07] behind your ear it's a miracle maybe the priest is just like we are in this situation maybe the

[21:11] priest is just like uh fuck if i know that sounds really weird i guess god i assume the priest was

[21:17] going quitting time time to punch out and then sandra bullock walked in and he was like oh come

[21:22] on seriously god i've been doing this all day and she was like i'm unstuck in time and i know my

[21:27] husband's gonna die i guess it's a miracle quitting time punch out let's go get a couple

[21:31] brews jesus it's miller done jesus it's half past beer i know you're i know you're the son of a

[21:37] carpenter but it's miller time okay so there's not a lot to talk about in this movie so let's skip

[21:42] to the ending which is the most awesome part by far okay so it turned out that her husband was

[21:47] going to have an affair on her but she figured it out and proved that she loved him by doing him

[21:52] and taking his shoes off so that so he skipped out on the affair taking his shoes off he's

[21:58] he's in he's in his car he's driving to he dropped the kids off at school as they do

[22:04] and he's in his car he's gonna die in a car crash she calls him and there's about what 15 minutes

[22:09] of him fumbling with the cell phone while his car she's like she's like okay i know he's gonna die

[22:14] at mile 220 i'm gonna go out i'm gonna drive out i'm gonna meet him there she's like calling him

[22:18] on the phone she's like oh just do you trust me turn around and he like turns around and the car

[22:23] sort of swerves around and you're like oh it's all right and then uh and then whoops i dropped

[22:27] my phone he drops his phone my car stall what's happening and then a tractor at 18 wheeler is

[22:36] starts coming down the bed flammable apparently and he's like i don't know whether to pick up

[22:42] my phone or start the car get out of my car ah he doesn't simply unbuckle and run out of the car

[22:48] which i think a normal person would do really the number one he loved that car he really really

[22:52] loved that car that was established in the film that was uh so then he got uh well and then let's

[22:58] just say that we're like well of course he's gonna live why would god put her through this

[23:03] and not and he doesn't cheat on his wife they've reaffirmed their love for each other i guess she's

[23:08] gonna go to church more often of course he's gonna live and there's gonna be a happy ending

[23:11] no that big truck smashes through the roof of his car and you're like oh okay well he's still

[23:17] gonna be okay maybe he ducked on the point of impact or something no truck blows up car blows

[23:22] up also and you're still holding out hope that he's gonna crawl out but it was it was it was

[23:26] basically a big exclamation point on this movie well it's very strange because like it's like

[23:31] it's this weird like awesome it's this weird twilight zone ending where you're sort of

[23:37] supposed to be like oh i see in this time loop she sort of caused his death by knowing about

[23:44] his death but there were so many coincidental little things that had to happen well but not

[23:48] even that like just like that sort of chilling ending doesn't work if you've set up the idea

[23:53] that the whole point of this is that god is testing her or something yeah you know like god

[23:57] calms off it comes off very badly in this film yeah like what's the whole point of the scene

[24:02] with the priest if the end is just going to be one of these like twists and I'm like well

[24:06] sandra bullock again but it's not it's not over though she wakes up the next day they're moving

[24:11] out of the house that he bought for them because I guess too many memories and uh well no not the

[24:16] next day because like the probably no oh no it's several days later because the funeral has happened

[24:21] and and the daughter's face scars oh that's right the daughter ran through a plate glass window also

[24:26] it starts raining out and sandra bullock of course loses her shit because she does with everything

[24:31] starts raining she starts yelling at the children to get inside get inside those fancy sheets though

[24:36] and she has to run out and get the sheets that she hung up and her daughter is running to the

[24:40] glass door to open it to go get the sheets and she's going no stop stop and the daughter turns

[24:45] around to look at what sandra bullock is what fucking nonsense is causing her to scream at

[24:49] her and she doesn't see the glass door and rounds right through it and gets all cut up in her face

[24:54] right and then at the end of the movie the scars almost healed which leads me to believe that

[24:57] they've been there for a while like a month later which is also why sandra bullock isn't uh committed

[25:02] in the hospital at this point and also why oh that's right because well god is involved so

[25:06] maybe it was a miracle that her scars healed up the next day that's possible but she goes she sits

[25:11] on the edge of her bed she's woken up by her daughter she sits on the edge of her bed and she

[25:15] remembers everything that happened in the movie and then we hear the which by the way she remembers

[25:20] stuff that happened again this has happened before in the flop house things that happened like 10

[25:25] minutes earlier in the in the film and i don't understand what modern filmmakers think our

[25:31] attention span is they're like remember this remember when sandra bullock and uh her husband

[25:37] kissed they were really in love it was actually pretty helpful for me because i had to get a beer

[25:42] well she didn't realize that sandra bullock and her husband were in love so seeing them

[25:46] no i thought they were enemies i thought she was trying to call him on the phone and distract him

[25:50] so that car would chop this wasn't for a long time in the movie nothing really happens and it does

[25:54] seem like it's it's designed for someone who keeps getting up and and leaving and coming back

[25:59] there's a whole lot of nothing followed by a whole lot of stuff and then i was wondering was

[26:03] like because this movie is kind of told in a way it's kind of told out of order like do they film

[26:08] it like in order and then they're just like let's just chop it all up it's cool i don't think so

[26:15] well we're and we're talking about fucking groundhog day like they don't ever address

[26:19] her point of view so that you're like there's no moment where you see that realization on her face

[26:24] oh my god when i go to sleep it's a different day that's true like like there's no like moment

[26:30] where she's like maybe maybe if like little cause and effect here maybe if i don't fall asleep you've

[26:36] got a great sandra bullock you'll happen yeah there's a dead on sandra bullock impression i

[26:40] watched demolition man this weekend uh so there's no moment of her being like let me test this yeah

[26:46] there's no testing or like trying to figure out the like the rules the rules instead she's like

[26:52] i don't get something time to go to my local church and talk to my favorite priest

[26:56] oh god's doing it okay you prefer if she was more like a scientific method behind yeah she does

[27:01] we'll say it's the man she does go to godless science first peter stormare he fails her and

[27:06] then she goes back to faith he fails her he gives her a lithium i mean that's pretty good and then

[27:10] she takes it says take two and she pours out every single pill in her hand and then throws

[27:15] him in the sink and it's like what i don't anyway but okay so she's sitting on the edge of the bed

[27:20] she's remembering everything we just saw in the movie and then so she knows lithium's not that

[27:25] good for you and uh she remembers the priest words that this is a miracle and something about hope i

[27:30] forget which she closes her eyes in slow motion gets up and she's pregnant that night of last

[27:36] love with her husband has borne fruit as god meant it to cut to black credits and that's the end of

[27:42] the movie no closure and thanks to god's benevolence she's now a single mother raising three young

[27:47] children single housewife house although it's implied that she doesn't have a job it's implied

[27:54] that her husband has a major life insurance policy oh yeah if i know anything about insurance

[27:59] companies they found it very suspicious that he took out this insurance policy right before he

[28:03] died and did not pay off on it well that's covered when she goes to the insurance company guy in the

[28:08] middle and he says this is very suspicious but whatever that shit happens man you were there

[28:15] so what you're saying

[28:18] that's double indemnity if he gets distracted by a phone call and is blown up by a truck

[28:22] so what you're saying three million dollars is that god was angry at julian mcmahon for thinking

[28:27] about having an adulterous affair so he smote him and gave the insurance money to sandra bullock i

[28:33] guess so sandra bullock was collateral damage in this god plan so he's god decides to throw her a

[28:39] bone so it's not totally bad for her the bone in the form of a new baby to squirt out of her box

[28:47] you know what this you're so sensitive stewart this movie should be taught in sunday school

[28:53] you know right up there with it's a wonderful life and other religious films all those people

[28:56] all those evangelicals who uh took passion of the christ to your heart right go out and rent

[29:01] premonition and then what dreams may come and build your sunday school syllabus around that

[29:06] and then maybe and maybe constantine and dragon slayer yeah and fern gilley the last

[29:14] dragon heart and and the last dragon and enter the dragon and dragon wick and uh

[29:23] there's gotta be more movies with dragon and peach dragon there you go that's my sunday school

[29:27] syllabus right there peach dragon dragon heart dragon slayer dragon wick enter the dragon in

[29:31] the last because all those dinosaurs those dinosaur bones are dragons that's that's we

[29:36] gotta understand the dragons that died in the flood yeah except for the bones that were buried

[29:40] by satan to confuse us well fair enough so this movie man it was really good it was great this is

[29:46] a movie where that was a lot of a lot of nothing for about what an hour and 20 minutes and then

[29:51] the craziest ending in history yeah i thought the ending was a joke for a minute and then i realized

[29:55] this wasn't a camera like it felt like the ending of uh

[30:00] any of the planetarium like but what you have to do is really over the top like a

[30:04] really weird you know joke on the audience like andy kaufman directed a

[30:08] movie

[30:08] the president to do a really serious melodrama rewatches the new and new

[30:12] reverend and i think it was a solution

[30:15] and the pregnant lady

[30:17] so let's get down to judge final judgments because uh... by the way i

[30:21] just want to point out for everyone listening to know this is just for

[30:24] posterity sake

[30:25] if i ever die in a car accident i really want there to be an awesome explosion

[30:29] to like punctuate it for me okay so if i if i do die in a car accident somebody

[30:34] blow up a car i will follow you around every time you're in a car i will have a

[30:37] couple of gas cans and just follow you around

[30:40] so if you crash i'll just run up

[30:42] and pour a bunch of gas all over you also for posterity dan if you can make sure when i

[30:46] die that if my head is removed during the death that they fucking sew that

[30:50] shit back on because

[30:52] i do not want the casket to fall on my head this is a lot of responsibility

[30:57] dan you can handle this

[30:58] you can handle it is that because you have a low opinion of the people who are going to be your pallbearers

[31:02] i saw premonition

[31:03] you can't trust anyone in the funeral industry

[31:07] well i might die when a helicopter blade cuts off my head

[31:10] and i don't want that to fall out

[31:14] john landis isn't directing your life

[31:16] wow i wasn't even thinking about that

[31:19] you had to bring it down

[31:21] seriously though make sure they sew that shit on

[31:23] seriously though don't let john landis anywhere near you

[31:26] i never want to be anywhere near john landis

[31:28] so i was just planning on using some chewing gum

[31:32] and some tape whatever it takes just stick it on there i'm dead i don't care

[31:36] i know did you go to more curry school just put like a stick just like ram a stick in her neck

[31:41] whatever it takes

[31:43] pretty me up just make me look better ok i'll take care of that if you can like mold a six

[31:47] pack out of my surprisingly blubbery stomach you can do that with dead bodies nowadays

[31:52] yeah well when you die your body basically turns into putty

[31:55] yeah like clay right yeah like clay face exactly

[31:58] yeah like clay face sure

[31:59] so you can become any bad guy or character from the bad man movie

[32:03] yeah or like dark man

[32:04] oh like dark man no kidding

[32:06] ultimately though was this movie a bad movie that you would not recommend at all

[32:09] a movie that was bad but was good as a funny bad movie or a movie that you liked in some way

[32:16] elliott

[32:17] uh... i would say this was a bad movie that was unenjoyable until the last five minutes or so

[32:22] but those last five minutes here's the rub wouldn't mean as much without the preceding hour and twenty five of

[32:27] boring garbage so what are you going to do it's like the umbrellas of sherbourg which i finished watching today

[32:32] powerful end scene we have to slog through everything that comes before it

[32:36] yeah i agree

[32:37] it's a lot like dead alive by Takeshi Miyake where you're like

[32:41] dead or alive

[32:42] dead or alive not dead alive yeah that'd be another movie

[32:45] peter jackson

[32:46] where you're like hey this is kind of weird like crime drama kind of extreme i guess

[32:51] and then the end happens and you're like oh my god they blew up the planet

[32:54] that's awesome

[32:55] yeah no i agree entirely the last ten minutes of this movie are just zaniness

[33:00] the constant like

[33:01] what more can we throw in his path to keep him from maybe

[33:04] to maybe make him die in that car and then make him okay and then he dies anyway

[33:08] let's drop my phone again

[33:10] i can't in good conscience recommend this to anyone though i think that like if you've listened to this podcast

[33:14] you've gotten all the enjoyment you're going to get out of this film learn from us

[33:18] yeah just just so i can paint a picture for you guys

[33:21] i generally like movies that are like violent in some way like have like gore

[33:26] or like horror elements

[33:28] or feature a lot of like nudity like a man of simple uh... yeah like a t and a

[33:32] comedy or something yeah and uh... yeah this movie had really nothing that i

[33:37] would be interested in except for the last five minutes you're looking for gore or t and a

[33:41] this is not the movie to go to yeah this is terrible

[33:43] but for the audience just so they understand exactly what we're talking about it's like if you

[33:46] went to see raiders of the lost ark and indiana jones is falling off of things and guys are

[33:51] punching him in the face and there's explosions and he gets through all of them and then just at the

[33:54] last minute when he's about to save the day

[33:56] like someone stabs him in the neck and he dies

[33:59] it's like wait a minute like hold on like why did you

[34:02] wait but you it was implicitly promised that when he went through all the trials he would

[34:06] survive at the end and win like why would okay and then he's and then karen allen's

[34:10] pregnant

[34:11] that's pretty good and the child's name would be mutt

[34:14] you should go back in time and

[34:16] tell lawrence casden how to uh...

[34:18] the only thing that would have been a better ending for the movie is if

[34:21] when she got up pregnant

[34:22] dissolved like she dissolved no no so you could see inside her pregnant belly

[34:27] and the fetus was there and winked at the audience no i thought you were gonna be like the fetus was like julian

[34:31] mcmahon it was like the star child in 2001 well it's julian mcmahon's head on a fetus's body and he winks at the audience

[34:37] and then the movie blacks out

[34:39] that'd be pretty awesome he's back

[34:42] and then there's a sequel which is the evil baby julian mcmahon going around killing people

[34:48] see i was gonna say

[34:49] i would like it more if she got up and like there's a close up of her belly and then like a hand

[34:54] goes through the belly like holding like a rose or holding a cell phone

[34:59] and you're like oh my gosh

[35:01] he's still alive you did this to me

[35:04] holding a cell phone and then holding a cell phone and then you just hear julian mcmahon's voice saying

[35:09] it's for you

[35:10] if any of these things happened

[35:13] i would have immediately recommended this movie at the end of the podcast

[35:17] as bad as the rest of the film was like that alone would be enough to redeem the whole thing

[35:22] a real like shaggy dog story so what was the uh... what was like the catchphrase for this movie

[35:27] like what was that like what's the box cover look like

[35:30] is it just like sandra bullock looking like kinda confused or like is it like her

[35:35] and julian mcmahon making out

[35:37] i'm sure it's like her phase and it's like what if nothing was as it seemed or something

[35:41] this premonition

[35:42] is murder

[35:44] this is one premonition you don't want to premonote

[35:47] sometimes you premonice

[35:50] premonotion

[35:51] that would be my review of this

[35:53] uh... wait your daily variety review

[35:57] i don't know wait did i ever summarize

[35:58] hicks nicks

[36:00] premonix pics

[36:02] i don't think i actually

[36:04] rated this one i'm gonna say it's a bad movie that i wouldn't recommend

[36:08] i mean i figured that was implied

[36:11] i remember when this movie was in theaters briefly but like

[36:13] how do you sell this movie like the only hook to the plot is so vague and nothing of

[36:17] interest visually or dramatically ever happens like what do you think about the script

[36:22] got you know a heavyweight like sandra bullock involved is it is she just really

[36:26] in like time travel bullshit like lake house came out premonition came out time cap

[36:31] uh... time she was in time cap

[36:33] uh... she was in demolition

[36:38] i don't like time traveling and time cap came out it's another movie that came out

[36:43] time cap

[36:44] time and again from time to time

[36:46] uh... the time machine both versions timex watches

[36:51] back to the future one through three

[36:53] the cartoon series

[36:56] karate kid

[36:58] karate kid a karate through time that already goes back in time to feudal japan

[37:02] tmnt three this is the one where we spent most time just listing movies

[37:09] turtles in space that would have been awesome you gotta imagine that if they kept making

[37:13] teenage mutant ninja turtle movies

[37:14] there would be uh... teenage mutant ninja turtles in space and there would be teenage mutant ninja turtles in the hood

[37:19] that would have been another one tmnt in vegas aren't they pretty much already in the hood or i guess

[37:24] they live in a... wow that's

[37:26] you know the hood is still above ground

[37:29] come on man it depends on the hood you know

[37:32] not too many of them are underground maybe a mole person's hood well i mean yeah like

[37:35] the chuds hood is in the sewers i don't even call it a hood there's no businesses there's no

[37:40] real apartments it's still a neighborhood though like they live there with somebody why don't they interact more with the chuds

[37:46] like i figure if they're the only two groups down there well i have to assume the mutant ninja turtles and the chuds

[37:51] they're probably like neighbors who don't get along very well yeah that's sad

[37:55] well yeah because they have different M.O.s the chuds

[37:59] they eat human beings

[38:00] the teenage mutant ninja turtles eat pizza

[38:04] possibly the chuds might eat the pizza delivery boys but also like the chuds are kind of

[38:08] avoid the spotlight and the turtles are

[38:10] friends with a very famous reporter i'll tell you one thing you gotta know she'd take that story

[38:15] a movie i like to surprise you

[38:17] a movie i like to surprise you mount chud 2 bud the chud

[38:21] it ends up with a zombie prom and that's pretty good

[38:26] you want to be buds with the chud

[38:29] bud the chud was actually going to be a uh it was a rejected return of the living dead sequel script

[38:34] and they're and went another direction they're like well we can't waste this great script we'll just make it a chud movie

[38:40] that's like the he-man masters of the universe movie that script started as a movie adaptation a spec movie adaptation of jack kirby's

[38:47] fourth world new gods storylines and it's like well we have the masters of the universe license so we'll turn darkseid into skeletor

[38:53] that is really strange and orion will be he-man that's why

[38:56] was there so much objective to this philosophy in there?

[38:59] uh no that's steve ditko you're talking about

[39:02] oh ok i'm sorry LAME

[39:03] what were we thinking of ditko?

[39:05] uh mr. a the question spider-man

[39:08] i mean he didn't have any big science fiction universes as far as i know

[39:13] alright

[39:14] but anyway

[39:15] dan's lame

[39:16] we're gonna edit out dan

[39:17] or maybe elliot's lame

[39:18] yeah that's a real question

[39:20] if it's lame to know the difference to know that the masters of the universe script was originally a new gods script then call me lame

[39:27] i'll take that charge

[39:29] gilchrist's chudge

[39:30] yeah exactly

[39:31] so uh weird

[39:32] we're talking so similar now

[39:33] oh my god

[39:34] this has become such a niche podcast i think we should move on to the next

[39:37] yes as i've said before this bad movie podcast where we watch bad movies and then discuss them is really becoming a niche podcast

[39:45] look i uh

[39:46] we're alienating

[39:47] we're alienating

[39:48] i'm trying to extend the brand

[39:50] i'm gonna get courtney cox on as a guest host

[39:53] what mainstream podcasts are there?

[39:55] are there any that are not niche podcasts?

[39:58] oh god um

[39:59] dan cook

[40:00] Yeah, it's still like a niche though.

[40:02] Well, like podcasts that are just podcasts.

[40:04] I guess This American Life, yeah.

[40:05] Well, but those are like radio things.

[40:06] Like things that are just podcasts.

[40:08] Yeah, what is there that's not a podcast?

[40:09] Never Not Funny, I guess, is a big podcast.

[40:11] I don't know what that is.

[40:13] Sound of Young America is on radio.

[40:16] It's a radio show.

[40:17] Boring.

[40:18] I don't want to talk about podcasts.

[40:19] I want to talk about movies, guys.

[40:21] All right.

[40:22] So, that was a crappy movie.

[40:23] Let's talk about movies that we've seen recently that weren't quite as crappy.

[40:26] Sure.

[40:27] Because I've seen a lot of crappy ones lately.

[40:30] No, you can designate a person to go first if you don't have one.

[40:33] Dan, go first.

[40:34] Oh, I have plenty.

[40:35] Sure.

[40:36] Okay.

[40:37] I just watched a movie.

[40:38] Two.

[40:39] I will only briefly talk about the second one, though.

[40:40] The first one is This is England.

[40:42] Yeah, it's not bad.

[40:43] Oh, I remember when that came out.

[40:45] I've been recommending a lot of movies recently that—

[40:48] Sucked.

[40:49] Not sucked, but because I like to recommend movies that are a little obscure,

[40:52] sometimes I may talk up movies a little more than they deserve just because I want to say, like,

[40:57] oh, this is overlooked.

[40:58] Yeah, you church it up.

[41:00] Church it up.

[41:01] Exactly.

[41:02] Church is where they really oversell things.

[41:05] But This is England, I think, is a genuinely really good movie.

[41:08] It's about a kid.

[41:09] It's set in 1983 in England during the time of the Falklands War.

[41:14] His father actually just died in the Falklands War,

[41:17] and he falls in with a group of skinheads.

[41:20] And at first, these are skinheads who are into it culturally,

[41:24] and it's sort of a class-based, like I said, cultural thing.

[41:27] But then one of the members comes back from being in jail

[41:31] and sort of gets into the racist skinhead politics,

[41:35] and it shows how this kid sort of falls into it and then falls out of it.

[41:39] But it's a really good sort of time capsule of the time and place.

[41:43] It has a really good sense of place, really good music.

[41:45] It's a good sort of slice of life.

[41:47] I liked it a little better at the beginning when it was more of a slice of life

[41:50] and less, like, plot mechanics, but it's a really strong movie.

[41:53] And briefly, I want to recommend the film Abominable,

[41:57] which is a movie that has Lance Henriksen, who we mentioned before, in a small role,

[42:03] and Jeffrey Combs in a small role, Paul Gleeson, I think his name?

[42:08] Jackie Gleeson.

[42:09] The guy who was the principal in The Breakfast Club has a small role.

[42:14] Isn't the guy from who's like Mahoney's replacement in Police Academy in that movie?

[42:22] Could be. I'm not sure.

[42:24] But it's basically a movie like someone saw Tiffany Shepis' ass in that movie,

[42:29] which is amazing, by the way, Tiffany Shepis.

[42:32] How were you describing it before?

[42:34] It's like a pumpkin that I want to bite, a juicy pumpkin.

[42:37] Stewart says, it's like a pumpkin, you just want to bite it.

[42:40] I've never seen a pumpkin and wanted to take a bite out of it.

[42:43] Dude, you should take another look at her ass, dude.

[42:46] Yeah, but that's not the metaphor that you.

[42:49] Don't worry about it, guys. I got this one.

[42:52] But it's just a really good like.

[42:54] As if you're holding something up to make sure it doesn't fall and we're running away.

[42:58] I got this one, dude.

[42:59] It's a good creature feature, like sort of just a monster movie that's taken seriously.

[43:03] It's as if someone watched Rear Window and was like, hmm, Rear Window's pretty good,

[43:09] but what if the killer, instead of being Raymond Burr, was Bigfoot?

[43:14] So if that sounds interesting to you, you should see the movie Abominable.

[43:18] It's not abominable.

[43:20] Thanks, Gene Shalit.

[43:22] Hey, that's my Gene Shalit.

[43:25] Where's your room of teddy bears that you do your reviews from?

[43:28] We're in it right now, Elliot.

[43:30] That's really creepy.

[43:32] You press a button and a wall swings around and it's just teddy bears?

[43:35] Yep.

[43:36] Teddy grams.

[43:37] It's all teddy grams.

[43:39] If I push a different button, a hall of mirrors erupts around us.

[43:43] This is an expensive room.

[43:45] In New York, no less.

[43:47] We should pay for this apartment.

[43:48] So, Elliot, we just heard from Daniel.

[43:50] Let's hear from you.

[43:51] Have you seen any good movies lately?

[43:53] Sure.

[43:54] I'll recommend two movies, too.

[43:56] Let's keep it brief.

[43:57] Okay.

[43:58] Wow.

[43:59] Wow.

[44:00] Timekeeper Wellington over there.

[44:01] There are two movies I saw, one in the theaters, one not.

[44:03] The one in the theaters is a recent Norwegian movie called Reprise that I enjoyed about two

[44:09] young writers in Norway who have this dream about what it means to be a tortured writer

[44:14] and they're going to live these very cliched, like, I'm a writer and then I have mental issues

[44:18] and then I come back from it, write something even better, and then I fall in love and then it's tragic,

[44:22] these kind of fantasies, but they find out after their first works get published that

[44:26] living that life is not really that enjoyable.

[44:29] It's actually more difficult than it looks.

[44:31] It was apparently Norway's entry to the 2006 Best Foreign Film Academy Awards.

[44:36] It's playing at the Brooklyn Academy of Music right now.

[44:38] The other movie that I saw recently, which both of the other people at this podcast have seen

[44:42] and maybe many in the audience have seen, was Ginger Snaps 2 Unleashed,

[44:46] which is the sequel to the hit Canadian horror film Ginger Snaps about teen werewolves starring Mimi Rogers

[44:53] as the mother of the stars of the movie.

[44:55] You mentioned her because she's the only name that you would recognize.

[45:00] Star of Full Body Massage, Mimi Rogers.

[45:02] The first Ginger Snaps is really good, but it kind of loses its way after a certain point.

[45:06] Ginger Snaps 2 I actually enjoyed overall a little bit more maybe.

[45:09] It's a stranger movie.

[45:10] The first one is about a girl in high school becoming a werewolf,

[45:13] and the second one takes it in this direction of this kind of like girls' juvie hall slash mental facility,

[45:19] and there's a werewolf chasing after the only character who survived from the first movie,

[45:23] and it just goes in this very interesting direction,

[45:26] and it ends with a completely different status quo than it started with.

[45:29] There are a lot of good thriller scenes and some funny lines in it,

[45:32] and it's Canadian through and through, which adds to the fun.

[45:36] Hot Canadian werewolf girls.

[45:38] So I recommend if you haven't seen the first Ginger Snaps, you should see both of them together.

[45:43] Maybe it's a double feature.

[45:44] A double creature feature.

[45:46] Yeah, that works.

[45:47] Stuart, you're the only person who hasn't said anything yet in this segment of the podcast.

[45:51] Well, I totally recommend Ginger Snaps as well,

[45:53] if only because I'm totally in love with Catherine Isabel, the titular character Ginger.

[46:00] It's about cops, Ginger and Snaps.

[46:03] Yeah, they're buddies.

[46:04] I'm Ginger. He's Snaps.

[46:06] Watch out for all them werewolves out there.

[46:08] Let's be careful out there with werewolves.

[46:11] What was that movie where it was a unit?

[46:12] It was called like Full Moon or something where it was a unit.

[46:14] It was a special unit of the NYPD that was secretly werewolves.

[46:17] I want to say that like Mario Van Peebles or somebody like that was in it.

[46:21] Yeah, he's in good movies, like Posse.

[46:24] All I can think of is that Joe Piscopo movie where there are zombies.

[46:28] That's Dead Heat.

[46:29] That movie is awesome.

[46:30] That's a movie where everybody has an Uzi.

[46:33] Literally every character has an Uzi.

[46:36] Just like life.

[46:37] So I watch the movies lately.

[46:38] Last night I watched Just One of the Guys again, which is awesome.

[46:42] It has a really great boob shot.

[46:44] I think our listeners, if they know Just One of the Guys, then they know it has –

[46:48] And if they know you, they know why you enjoy Just One of the Guys.

[46:51] I just want to remind everybody that it's got a great boob shot.

[46:54] A couple nights ago I watched this really great movie called Twinsitters starring the Barbarian Brothers.

[47:00] We did a whole movie minute on this.

[47:02] So I'm not going to go over that too much.

[47:04] It was so good.

[47:05] So earlier today I watched a movie called Outpost starring Ray Stevenson, the Titus Polo character.

[47:10] Oh, The Flash.

[47:11] Oh, that's Ray Stevens.

[47:12] Yeah.

[47:13] Never mind.

[47:14] The Streak, rather.

[47:15] He played the Titus Polo character from the HBO series Rome.

[47:20] And it's basically about a group of mercenaries who are hired to go into Eastern Europe to go to this strange bunker,

[47:28] which turns out to be an old Nazi bunker where they were doing some kind of strange experiments,

[47:33] and there's a bunch of unstoppable Nazi zombies that they have to battle.

[47:37] What's it called?

[47:38] Are they bloodsucking Nazi zombies?

[47:39] Outpost.

[47:40] Outpost.

[47:41] They're not bloodsucking.

[47:42] It's really bleak, and that's kind of what I like about it.

[47:45] It's really grim.

[47:47] All right.

[47:48] Also, I want to say I rewatched Ed Wood recently with my girlfriend who had not seen it.

[47:53] Did he get you laid?

[47:55] I mean, I don't really need Ed Wood to get me.

[47:58] I mean, I'm in love with him.

[47:59] Oh, oh, Elliot doesn't need Ed Wood to get him laid.

[48:02] Well, he's better than the rest of us, I guess.

[48:06] Just because I need to hand out copies of Ed Wood every time I want to get laid.

[48:11] I just got this window into Dan's home life where he is wooing his wife with Ed Wood.

[48:17] No, I pay her in copies of Ed Wood.

[48:19] You don't understand.

[48:20] And then she sells the copies.

[48:22] It's a weird system of bombarder slash payment.

[48:27] But considering this is a bad movie web podcast, I thought it would be fitting to remind people that it's a good movie,

[48:33] and girlfriends like it too.

[48:34] Well, everyone has, unlike Tango and Cash, everyone has recommended like eight movies,

[48:39] so I'm going to cut this segment short.

[48:40] Sure.

[48:41] But we like movies, Dan.

[48:42] Yeah, come on.

[48:43] Sure.

[48:44] It's a niche podcast.

[48:45] Sure.

[48:46] Well, I'm just going to say, please, if you have anything that you want us to address,

[48:50] send your concerns or questions to theflophousepodcast at gmail.com,

[48:56] and you can check out the website at theflophousepodcast.blogspot.com.

[49:01] Say it like you're excited about it.

[49:04] Halfway through, I just lost any interest.

[49:07] It's a very long idea.

[49:09] Are we going to have that contest we were talking about, Dan?

[49:12] Which contest was that?

[49:13] The watch a movie with the Flophouse contest?

[49:15] I think that's a great contest.

[49:16] Well, okay.

[49:18] We just know what the prize is.

[49:20] We don't know what the actual contest is.

[49:22] Flophouse listeners, prove you love the Flophouse by doing something great for us

[49:26] and getting other people to listen to the Flophouse,

[49:28] and whoever proves they love the Flophouse the most will get to watch a movie with us,

[49:32] the Flophouse guys, and maybe take part in a podcast.

[49:35] Sure.

[49:36] That sounds good.

[49:37] That proof will have to either be in written format via e-mail or picture format,

[49:42] which is preferred that it will either be a drawing of some kind because we like drawings here,

[49:48] or pictures.

[49:50] I have to say this contest is probably only open to people who live in the greater New York City area.

[49:59] No, if they want to fly in.

[50:00] All expenses are paid by them.

[50:01] Yeah.

[50:02] No, exactly.

[50:03] If you want to get here somehow, you are responsible for all lodging and transportation costs.

[50:09] The only prize is literally watching a movie with us.

[50:13] Okay.

[50:14] Cleanlandicia, there is no monetary value to this, and a winner pays expenses.

[50:18] Yeah.

[50:19] There you go.

[50:20] Except for beer and snacks, which we will cover.

[50:22] Which will be provided.

[50:23] Yeah.

[50:24] There you go.

[50:25] That's pretty good.

[50:26] That's like a $4 value right there.

[50:27] If you want to eat Popeye's fried chicken while we watch the movie, Dan lives right

[50:31] near one, and I go to it every time I come here.

[50:33] We're not doing this in my apartment.

[50:34] I'd gladly pick up.

[50:35] I'm not having riff-raff.

[50:36] We agreed.

[50:37] We're doing it at Stuart's place.

[50:38] I approve of riff-raff in my apartment.

[50:40] Okay.

[50:41] That's totally okay.

[50:42] Riff-raff in the Junkyard Gang?

[50:43] Yeah.

[50:44] Yeah.

[50:45] Wait.

[50:46] Wasn't that like the weird Garfield spin-off character?

[50:47] It was the Heathcliff spin-off.

[50:48] Heathcliff.

[50:49] Well, Stuart and Elliot argue this issue.

[50:53] I would like to sign off saying, I'm Dan McCoy.

[50:56] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[50:57] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[50:58] Good night, everyone.

[50:59] Yay.

[51:00] So, yeah.

[51:01] Riff-raff, he wore the kangol.

[51:02] Riff-raff had a ...

[51:03] No.

[51:04] It was just a backwards hat, I think.

[51:05] He had a scarf and a staff.

[51:06] Yeah.

[51:07] And he had the friend with the roller skates and the headphones.

[51:08] And he had the hot cat girlfriend.

[51:09] Hot girlfriend.

[51:10] And they lived in a junkyard.

[51:11] Are you ready for that shit?

[51:12] Daniel, I'm going to talk like this the entire podcast.

[51:13] And now it goes.

[51:14] And I'm going to talk like this.

[51:15] That's what I'm going to do.

[51:16] I'm going to talk like this.

[51:20] Daniel, I'm going to talk like this the entire podcast.

[51:23] And now it goes.

[51:24] And I'm going to talk like this.

[51:26] That'll be awesome.

[51:27] Premonition.

[51:28] Are you experiencing one right now?

[51:32] Are you guys ready for an adventure?

[51:34] Okay.

[51:35] That's my Lili Sobieski impression.

[51:36] Thank you very much.

[51:38] Lili Sobieski from the movie Toy.

[51:42] Are you guys ready for an invention?

[51:44] All right.

The Flop House: Episode 20 - Premonition

Transcript

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