The Flop House: Episode #21 - One Missed Call

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss One Missed Call, the scariest movie based on a thing that your answering service says.

[0:30] Welcome to the Flophouse, listeners! I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kalin.

[0:40] So this needs to be addressed. Stuart, you're wearing some very small bathing shorts. Yeah, swim trunks.

[0:50] Why is that? I just bought some and I thought it would be really comfortable.

[0:58] For laughs, you thought you'd change into your sort of speedo style. Is it very comfortable?

[1:02] Well, they're comfortable and I didn't think laughs. I thought maybe, you know, it'd make me look good on the podcast.

[1:08] How does it feel? Is cradled the right word? Do you feel cradled right now? Yeah, like I feel like a nice hand is cupping everything.

[1:16] So let's paint a picture for listeners. Stuart's wearing some Converse shoes. Some filthy Converse shoes.

[1:22] With white socks. And then there's a big, big expanse of bare leg going up. Very pale.

[1:30] What I would describe as a strip of cloth covering his junk area. And then a yellow T-shirt that says my best friend is Jesus.

[1:44] With a picture of Jesus ministering to children. You got a compliment for the shirt?

[1:48] Yeah, I got a compliment on the shirt. And the shorts, obviously. And for his package. Yeah, well, awkward.

[1:56] So, but in non-swim trunks news, we watched One Missed Call tonight. Yeah, that didn't make me feel cradled or good.

[2:05] No, although I got to say, I don't want to skip ahead too far to the ratings already, but this was a winner compared to some of the ones we've seen recently.

[2:13] Well, certainly compared to what we've watched recently. Yeah, I mean, it's not 10,000 BC.

[2:19] This movie was 12,000 years later and like a hundred times better. But anyway, One Missed Call starring Shannon Sosossamon.

[2:26] Sosossamon, yeah. And Edward Burns. Yeah, Shannon Sosossamon is in like my least favorite movie of all time.

[2:31] I don't know if we've addressed that before. Yeah, 40 days in. Yeah, we did. Yeah, right.

[2:34] You encouraged people to check it out from their local video store and then throw it away.

[2:39] Yeah, that offer still stands, guys. Nobody's had to ask me to compensate them for that, which I appreciate.

[2:44] Because they felt good after they did. Yeah, obviously. It was worth the money.

[2:47] Yeah, so as I said during the movie, Shannon Sosossamon and Ed Burns, two of the most expressive actors of their generation, just real.

[2:55] I think this is our second Ed Burns movie, right? Yeah, Sound of Thunder.

[2:58] I think the only way it could be less expressive is if it was Charlie Rose and that one rich socialite who had all that plastic surgery so she looks like a cat woman now.

[3:06] Like two people who can't move their faces at all. Yeah, well, Shannon Sosossamon just looked worried throughout the whole movie.

[3:12] And Ed Burns is playing the note of gravelly. I think he's really good at playing gravelly.

[3:19] That was his solo album, Songs in the Key of Gravel. Yeah. And then, of course, and a beautiful performance by Ray Wise also.

[3:28] Yeah, Ray Wise, man. He's like helium. He's like a burst of helium in any movie. It just rises.

[3:33] He's alive in anything. Ray Wise, for people who maybe don't remember, best known as Leland Palmer in Twin Peaks.

[3:41] And one of the bad guys from Robocop. Yeah, I always think of Robocop. That's true.

[3:45] He's in many, many things. He starred in Jeepers Creepers 2, certainly the best thing about that movie.

[3:51] Yeah, lately he's been in Reaper on the CW, I think it is. He plays the devil on Reaper.

[3:56] And here he plays the producer of an exorcism and miracles-based television show, but it's more like Unsolved Mysteries.

[4:02] It does live broadcast. That's right, it does a live broadcast from a church.

[4:06] I don't want to get ahead of the plot, but I do want to say that Ray Wise shows up for a moment to enliven the proceedings

[4:15] and to create great enjoyment in the audience and then completely disappears from the story without any resolution to his storyline.

[4:22] No resolution to the, I just produced a TV show in which someone was murdered in real life in a church.

[4:29] Yep, somebody was murdered on film.

[4:31] It's like, oh, egg on my face, I guess this is going in the jeers column in TV Guide.

[4:36] Well, I guess I'm on to the next episode.

[4:39] Peace out, Shannon Sossaman.

[4:41] This is the worst thing since Al Capone's vault.

[4:44] Well, on to my next project. I hear the Jersey Devil's been caught and the Mothman is on the loose.

[4:49] Let's go make TV shows about those.

[4:51] Sure, yeah, but so there are murders.

[4:54] Ray Wise, now I hate him.

[4:56] That Mothman movie wasn't very good either.

[4:58] Yeah, we should watch that one too, Mothman Prophecies.

[5:00] Yeah.

[5:01] It's a little old.

[5:02] It came out four years ago, say.

[5:04] I think it came out like six years ago.

[5:06] Anyway, one missed call.

[5:08] Should we go over what the plot is about in this crazy thing?

[5:10] Elliot, you're aces at this, so why don't you do your fast recap.

[5:14] It had something to do with cellular phones, right?

[5:16] Basically, Shannon Sossaman's friends have a problem.

[5:20] They keep missing calls.

[5:21] Then when they listen to the message, it's them being killed.

[5:25] And they go, ah, this is horrible.

[5:28] I'm getting messages of myself being killed.

[5:30] This is crazy.

[5:31] And then they start seeing horrible phantasms around them, and then they usually get killed.

[5:36] One of them is hit by a train.

[5:37] One has a flying piece of metal from a construction site.

[5:40] Yeah, some rebar.

[5:41] Yeah, rebar.

[5:42] They get thrown through his chest and so forth.

[5:45] Shannon Sossaman investigates with the help of Ed Burns,

[5:47] a policeman who doesn't believe in ghosts but kind of does,

[5:50] and Margaret Cho, who shows up out of nowhere for a couple scenes as another policeman who really doesn't believe in ghosts,

[5:56] so much so that she is a non-factor.

[5:58] Yeah, another character that does not have a character arc or anything that's resolved.

[6:03] No, yeah.

[6:04] Ray Wise comes in as the producer of this television show that somehow has heard of this phone problem

[6:09] and knows that Shannon Sossaman's Latina friend is the next victim.

[6:13] He broadcasts an exorcism.

[6:15] She's superstitious, being Latina and Catholic.

[6:18] It's very bizarre that they – she's a modern college student, but they're like,

[6:22] we can give you an exorcism, and she's like, Santa Maria.

[6:25] Gracias.

[6:26] Gracias.

[6:27] Gracias.

[6:28] No, that was good.

[6:29] That was what she sounded like.

[6:30] And then anyway, to cut a long story short, it turns out that there was a hospital that burned down years ago,

[6:36] and there was a little girl and her mother in it.

[6:38] Everyone thought that the mother was hurting the little girl to get attention,

[6:41] but it turns out that this little girl whose little sister is still alive was some sort of psycho monster.

[6:46] They're both dead, and the little girl is going through telephones and killing people.

[6:50] Yeah, it turns out it's the evil sister who's like a bad seed character.

[6:54] Like the good son.

[6:56] Exactly.

[6:57] Yeah, exactly, like Macaulay Culkin.

[6:59] Elijah Woodward.

[7:00] Oh, yeah, Macaulay Culkin was the bad one in that one.

[7:01] Yeah.

[7:02] Of course he's the bad one.

[7:04] Just like in real life.

[7:07] And in the end – should I give away the ending?

[7:09] Well, let's jump back now that you've given a good overview.

[7:12] Okay.

[7:13] Sure.

[7:14] So a ghost of a little girl is killing people through phones.

[7:16] Yeah.

[7:17] And Shannon Sussman has it happen to all of her friends and gets creeped out.

[7:20] Well, I mean, this is a great horror movie, Elliot, because it plays on the common fear that everyone has about getting calls on their phone.

[7:29] It's the most terrifying experience that you can have in life.

[7:34] I mean, I was wondering what the metaphor – because most horror movies are in some way allegorical or they're playing on a common fear.

[7:41] Well, they're just a comment on something in society.

[7:44] I mean, the closest I can come up with is the idea that cell phones are giving you cancer, cancer in this form, an evil ghost child.

[7:51] I think it's like with cell phones, even when we miss a call, people can still get in touch with us.

[7:56] We're never alone, even when ghosts are around.

[8:00] Like if we had rotary phones, then the ghost wouldn't be able to get to us unless we were in our house.

[8:04] Well, I mean it's really going down like the checklist of technology.

[8:08] Like there are all these techno thrillers where it's like, you know what?

[8:11] Technology, it's getting ahead of us.

[8:13] My favorite one of those.

[8:14] It's going to kill us someday.

[8:15] My favorite one of those is the one – has it come out yet?

[8:17] The one with – what's his name from The Skulls and Dawson's Creek?

[8:21] Joshua Jackson.

[8:22] Joshua Jackson where he's a photographer.

[8:23] Sure.

[8:24] Yeah.

[8:25] Oh, I almost picked that up on the video.

[8:26] Because it's like The Ring, but they were like, let's take a step back.

[8:30] Let's go to an earlier piece of invention.

[8:33] It's The Ring, but it's just one frame.

[8:36] Still photography.

[8:38] What's next?

[8:39] Like the bread maker that kills people?

[8:41] I'm waiting for the flip book movie.

[8:43] Or is it evil flip book?

[8:45] Going back, it's like, oh, portraits.

[8:47] I mean like – well, I guess that's the portrait of Dory.

[8:49] Yeah, that is.

[8:50] Yep, a little silhouette.

[8:51] That is a story from 100 years ago, yes.

[8:54] Oh, we have fun.

[8:55] Cell phones.

[8:56] Cell phones.

[8:57] Yeah, so it's evil cell phones, but for no – there's no reason this girl chose cell phones, right?

[9:02] This movie jumps directly into the killing.

[9:05] I mean the teaser of this film –

[9:06] This movie is a lean 87 minutes.

[9:08] Yeah, true.

[9:09] It begins with the –

[9:10] It's not like – what was that one with Hayden Christensen in a coma?

[9:13] Awake?

[9:14] Awake.

[9:15] It's not like Awake, which was 90 minutes long, but felt like it should have been 10 minutes long.

[9:18] That was like a student short film expanded to epic length.

[9:21] But this one – yeah, people start dying fairly quickly.

[9:24] Well, immediately.

[9:25] I mean there's always a teaser in these horror movies where death comes right away.

[9:30] But even so, this movie starts with – there's this woman next to a koi pond, which I guess is a nod to the fact that this is a Japanese woman.

[9:38] That's after the title – like before the title sequence, there's – isn't it before the fire or after?

[9:44] Because the movie opens with a brief shot of that fire at the hospital.

[9:47] Yeah, and then it cuts to the chick in the koi pond.

[9:50] Where she's scared because her cat disappears, which is, as Stuart pointed out, cats do move.

[9:57] They have legs.

[9:58] Cats are known to leap.

[10:00] even come back when i was a little freaked out by the fact that one moment

[10:03] she looks and make your cats there and then the next moment it's not there

[10:06] and she goes over looking for the cat and then uh... she bends over in her in

[10:10] her low-cut shirt reminding us that this does play take place in cleveton

[10:14] yeah the town of cleavage where and carry style a uh...

[10:18] an arm comes out of the the water and grabs her and pulls her in

[10:21] and then for good measure pulls the cat in yeah well that was that was important

[10:24] because i thought for a little while the cat was in cahoots with the ghost

[10:28] but that clearly show could have been in the hands just turned out to be in

[10:31] here's promised the cats and sardines i'd actually i'd actually forgotten that

[10:35] a hand jumped out which which brings to mind

[10:38] the fact that the ghost in this movie has no real

[10:41] modus operandi

[10:42] he did she just

[10:43] kills with whatever's available and sometimes with things that aren't

[10:47] available

[10:48] there's a knife in the eye there's a piece of rebar that flies out there's a

[10:51] train

[10:53] ghostly hands that strangle someone under their skin

[10:56] there's a hand from a pond like

[10:58] it does it's almost like

[11:00] they wanted to do a final destination but they didn't think about it also at

[11:03] the beginning the ghost appears to kill by methods that

[11:07] could easily be explained away as an accident and then i guess over the

[11:11] course of the movie because it's tired just like a pocket i'm not going to try

[11:15] and cover up a little so i'm not going to go on his company

[11:20] when it comes to the people in a little bit

[11:22] and it is appears like it explodes all the windows in employees

[11:27] yes but it is a guy you know what i'm not gonna get arrested

[11:30] i'm a ghost i don't have to be really subtle and cool at the implication of

[11:33] the court on scene is that

[11:35] this woman

[11:35] killed someone

[11:36] but their body in the court pond and the ghost has chosen to use that as their

[11:40] weapon

[11:41] yeah but i don't know how to pay off it doesn't make sense i don't

[11:44] you know it's weird why is there a hand in there

[11:46] yeah i don't really like this thing taking a bath understand

[11:50] the thing the hand not thing ben grim

[11:53] and not man thing

[11:54] and not man thing or swamp thing or man bad or swamp thing or thing number one

[11:58] that thing what that lauren has on

[12:01] that thing you do

[12:03] not a dvd copy of that

[12:06] that would be so awesome if there was

[12:07] a movie where the ghost only chose to kill people through dvd copies of that thing you do

[12:13] so like someone is walking by the shelf on the video store and the case is

[12:18] slowly opening

[12:20] and the dvd comes flying out and slashes their throat

[12:25] but with that thing you do

[12:26] if what's his face uh... the guy who directed uh... the ring and the american ring

[12:31] and uh... gore verbinski

[12:33] director of pirates of the caribbean had a real grudge against uh...

[12:37] a real grudge

[12:41] so it's like uh... in this ring remake i'm just gonna use it as a hatch job

[12:45] against tom hanks

[12:47] he had a real grudge

[12:48] he hired a rabbi to juon someone

[12:53] he gave a woman the eye

[12:55] uh... that's korean yeah well it's asia you know

[12:59] what other jahara movies are there

[13:02] yeah there you go good one

[13:04] took her down to tortilla flats

[13:08] that's a jahara movie right

[13:10] so they could watch the tequila sunrise

[13:13] of course

[13:15] it was a real case of

[13:17] brain donors

[13:21] that's a great one dude

[13:23] oh man you're sharp as a tack

[13:25] well you know any john turturro movie where it's basically the marx brothers

[13:28] yeah or the old

[13:29] shoo choo and the philly flash

[13:33] they were racing for mother jugs and speed

[13:36] point is that uh... this

[13:38] the parallax view and we're done

[13:40] this movie

[13:41] broke with uh... horror movie tradition by

[13:44] not being scary

[13:47] that was one big way

[13:48] it also didn't uh... introduce a group of potential victims and then knock them

[13:53] off one by one

[13:55] instead it not basically knocked off everyone we've met and that was like oh

[13:59] shit uh... we need to have a list is introduced a new characters we killed

[14:03] what they'd show someone who is sharon saucerman's best friend and then she

[14:06] died

[14:06] and then it was like

[14:08] all here's another friend of hers at

[14:10] the the wake and now they're best friends and then she dies and it's like

[14:13] uh... well

[14:14] so i think i was really weird phone call

[14:17] yeah it's almost like she was just known as the girl who was interested in phones

[14:20] on campus

[14:21] so it's like

[14:23] and i guess we're friends now that we're phone call i think my favorite

[14:25] moment in the movies when the one friend gets the phone call my god you're gonna

[14:29] die whatever so they go to talk to the guy at the phone kiosk in the mall

[14:34] and he's like the coroner in the movie who's like eating a sandwich and like

[14:38] whatever it's your phone do whatever you want

[14:41] you know he's the equivalent in this movie is like

[14:43] uh... zelda rubenstein's character in poltergeist like we were like oh we need

[14:47] to go to a real phone expert

[14:49] let's go to the guy who sells cell phones i was gonna say the robot in the

[14:52] movie rotor

[14:54] who was the janitor and and they asked the robot

[14:57] what's going on in this laboratory and he's like oh geez i don't know

[15:01] oh man you gotta ask somebody else

[15:04] but why would they be- i guess most people haven't seen the movie rotor i guess

[15:08] who's going to be able to help us with this killer phone problem who really

[15:11] knows about phones

[15:12] the minimum wage employee the guy who convinces people to sign up for a

[15:17] cell phone- not that there's anything wrong with being a minimum wage

[15:21] but i imagine he has his own dreams

[15:25] his focus isn't just being a cell phone guy- i figured he was just like the guy-

[15:29] you don't think he's in it for like it's not a career for him- no it's a crusade

[15:32] he's like the guy in the fav five commercials

[15:34] where the guys who don't have the fav five own a wizard

[15:37] where it's like this guy loves phones like he's just in it to spread the

[15:42] gospel of the fav five

[15:44] so i imagine this guy was like that except he loves sandwiches

[15:46] yeah except for he's just like

[15:48] you can do whatever you want with your phone like that was the thing like they

[15:51] went to him

[15:52] to try and cancel the service and when that didn't happen he just sort of gave

[15:56] them permission to do whatever and so they stopped on their phone that was

[15:59] their big solution- i guess what you're saying is this is one of many unnecessary steps

[16:04] such as there's a later scene where ed burns calls sharon sausman and she hangs up

[16:08] she doesn't answer because she's busy and he goes

[16:11] and then he goes to a librarian at the school library and says

[16:15] did you see so-and-so and then he gets a phone call

[16:17] it's sharon sausman- shannon- oh shannon sausman

[16:20] what's up what did you call me about a minute ago

[16:22] why bother showing us that he that she missed his call- there's an intermediate step

[16:26] i mean unless that's just keeping in the theme of missed calls- but at that point don't

[16:30] show us that it's him calling just show she has a missed call so that she gets scared

[16:34] like- it would have been a lot better if after she you know ignored it then she

[16:37] went back and looked at her phone and she was like one missed call what the-

[16:40] oh god oh phew

[16:42] thought that was a

[16:43] thought that was a ghost- yeah one missed call from caller id edward burns

[16:47] she's like fuck he's a ghost

[16:49] uh... this explains everything- hey the weirdest part- he's a ghost from his character in

[16:53] saving private ryan- hey you know right now the movie's also playing- wait but he lives in

[16:59] i can't remember- he is a world war two veteran- one of the weird things about the movie is

[17:03] that right before anyone dies in the movie

[17:05] their body gets all like

[17:07] dusty and weirdly indistinct- like the golden compass almost- yeah it doesn't make any sense

[17:12] there's a lot- i guess what stewart's getting at is

[17:15] there's a lot of random shit that gets thrown in from other movies in this

[17:20] when you're gonna die your body turns into dust and you see all these people

[17:23] walking around

[17:24] who have like they live faces- yeah monster faces- monster faces and then like

[17:28] there's a creepy lady pushing a creepy

[17:31] baby carriage which is only kind of

[17:33] tangentially attached to the villain at the end like

[17:36] it's just like

[17:37] uh... you're gonna die here's some stereotypical horror movie things for you to see

[17:40] uh... oh you're dead now- but don't worry all those weird things are going to be relate-

[17:44] are gonna relate to uh... what the ghost saw right before the ghost died later on- yeah it's

[17:49] yeah all the puzzle pieces fit

[17:52] except that you have to kind of jam them together a little bit- yeah uh... one thing we didn't mention- you gotta spit on them

[17:57] make them fit in there- you gotta blow into the cartridge to make sure it works

[18:01] and jam a copy of uh... duck hunt on top

[18:06] you gotta push it down

[18:08] one thing that happens before people die is they see centipedes

[18:11] i figured they were just- i think that's pretty creepy- i figured the centipedes were just out of work

[18:14] after the ring and they needed some some extra- sure- but it's like there's centipedes from the ring

[18:19] there are bees briefly from candy man

[18:22] uh... there's scary puppets like the puppet master- there's that lady with the eyeballs who instead of eyes she has mouths

[18:28] like in the box- yeah like that madonna video

[18:30] yeah wait what- years ago

[18:31] the one

[18:32] uh... there's that madonna video that was all like steampunk looking

[18:36] i don't remember- there's one part where she has an eye instead of a mouth and mouths instead of eyes- oh wow that's important- like the

[18:40] corinthian except with an eye instead of a mouth- you should mention steampunk a couple more times

[18:44] because then maybe it will become more popular on the internet- oh that's right yeah

[18:48] so i was reading boingboing.net the other day

[18:52] it said something interesting about steampunk- story.pro

[18:55] likes the steampunk- cartoon research is jerry beck

[18:59] uh... oh that's cartoon bro it's a different blog- yeah anyway

[19:03] so they basically- eventually they track down

[19:06] uh... they use edward burns' magical police powers- yeah- to trace the chain of

[19:12] phone calls- and there's some missed- there's some missed uses for say suspense or

[19:16] getting the audience interested like

[19:18] show them tracking down the calls you know they made a whole movie

[19:21] all the president's men about people tracking down paperwork and looking at

[19:25] people who had called other people

[19:27] you know that can be exciting- so you think there should be more scenes of them like just looking through phone records- not exactly-

[19:31] or they could do that in dramatic- more scenes of that than like

[19:34] characters bombing around waiting to die or- yeah- just not creepy nonsense that

[19:39] isn't related to anything- you know like weird

[19:41] ladies with mouths for eyes- exactly- or like the ray wise detour which uh...

[19:46] was brilliant but also stupid- no it was the best part of the movie but it made no-

[19:51] it didn't tie into the rest of the film at all- i'd say the best part of the movie is the only scary part

[19:56] when she's stuck in- shannon sonosuman

[19:59] is stuck

[20:00] in like the is that it goes to journey

[20:02] to the old abandoned hospital and all burned out of like asylum or something

[20:06] yes which

[20:07] this and i met the town has seen hard times it has not rebuilt or even

[20:11] but i put like that good offense around it

[20:13] yes of the ghost can get in

[20:15] it's i guess the ghost petition city hall

[20:18] to uh... to leave it as it was i'm surprised there were more teenagers

[20:21] there like i mean if i was just smoking pot and more like doing the windows

[20:25] out of the uh... you know in there and then that person gets killed by a real

[20:28] monster something

[20:30] and then we began to like a local fraternity uh... send somebody there on

[20:34] a hazing and it all goes well you know what you can do you need to do fifty

[20:37] push-ups in your own vomit

[20:39] will bring us back a ghost and then

[20:42] you know brings back a mustache from one of the state's skillet

[20:46] not i'm still in the middle of the old burned out asylum

[20:50] of it but they wish is wandering through there's a bunch of non creepy things

[20:53] that happen like

[20:54] a zombie baby holding a phone in his hand and millipedes

[20:57] that zombie baby was

[20:59] very similar to the uh... zombie baby in the dawn of the dead remake in that it

[21:03] was one hundred percent cgi which as we all know

[21:06] is really scary i just think all zombie babies look like winston churchill

[21:12] nice looks like zombie winston churchill

[21:14] zombie winston churchill

[21:16] he did a lot of bad things but he won the war so they all look slightly less real

[21:21] than the baby from who framed roger

[21:26] when the when the when the baby from the dream in train spotting

[21:30] is more realistic than the baby in your movie than you have a problem

[21:33] but anyway so that she goes and she finds the corpse of it turns out

[21:37] the girl's mother who died in the fire and she's all kinds of fucked and she's

[21:41] all

[21:42] burned in her teeth are coming straight through her skin and everything her face

[21:45] all mixed around like the monster from uh... one of those resident evil movies

[21:49] mhm

[21:50] and uh... it's true i had nothing to say

[21:53] but she's a descriptive

[21:55] it's not a joke it's just painting a picture with your words

[21:58] those movies are pretty good right?

[22:00] mhm yeah i feel like mila jevovich

[22:04] but uh...

[22:04] i'm just adding extra syllables to everybody's names

[22:07] on the subject of mila uh... there's a commercial

[22:11] you're on a first name basis with it mila

[22:13] well i thought i was saying that for a particular reason and that's because

[22:17] there's a commercial

[22:19] recently i didn't do that well in the theaters uh... yeah well it opened against dark knight

[22:23] she was promoting some sort of uh... cosmetics and i just i was really

[22:29] happy that in this commercial she identified herself by name

[22:32] because

[22:33] you know finally i know what to think in my brain when i read that

[22:38] and it's uh...

[22:39] mia jevovich

[22:41] uh... yeah because it's eastern european so everyone all flop house listeners

[22:46] when you're talking about resident evil or the fifth element you can talk about

[22:49] jevovich

[22:51] or what's his name uh... or dummy starring adrian brody

[22:56] or cuffs starring christian slater

[22:59] or just past loves of uh...

[23:01] luke besson

[23:02] if you're writing that luke besson

[23:04] quickie overnight autobiography

[23:07] with a photo insert section i like how it could be an autobiography

[23:12] we could be talking to luke besson right now and he's like you know what i've been thinking about doing

[23:15] you know what i got a strike of the irons hot let's put up this quickie autobiography

[23:19] just put some photos in there

[23:20] filled with heartthrob stuff all i've been doing for the past uh... ten years is producing

[23:24] movies so well he's he's saving up a big nest egg so he can make fifth element too

[23:29] sixth element

[23:30] uh... that would make more sense so the fifth element was love so i guess the sixth element

[23:34] would be like dreams chocolate

[23:36] yeah

[23:37] why it was so easy outer space

[23:41] the sixth element is movies

[23:44] movies like the fifth element

[23:46] they discover a copy of the fifth element and that saves the world

[23:49] that's like the scene in beastmaster 2 when he walks by the movie theater and beastmaster is playing

[23:54] i love that joke when leonard malton reviews gremlins and gremlins 2

[23:57] i loved that when i was a kid

[23:59] i remember i loved that when i was a man

[24:02] which was years ago

[24:04] well now he's wearing those shorts

[24:06] when i was a man

[24:07] so she goes to that burned out hospital

[24:10] and the mother's there and she's all creepy and burned up and the corpse comes to life

[24:14] and it's just

[24:15] crawling over her

[24:16] and puts its face really close to hers and it's this genuinely like creepy scary moment

[24:21] you think you're going to get some hot zombie on girl action

[24:23] oh yeah because i love to see i love to see a lesbian scene where one of the people involved doesn't have lips

[24:28] or pupils

[24:30] like ellie i'll take what i can get that's all i'm saying

[24:34] when your wife isn't around you go to a website that's called girlonzombie.com

[24:40] wait a minute are we inadvertently giving some help to girlonzombie.com

[24:45] i hope not the way we did with aquafan or whatever it was

[24:48] aquafan yeah

[24:49] which is the lamest site in the world

[24:51] that was the weirdest

[24:52] it just said sex underwater anybody tried it

[24:56] it's like this is the official website of people who love having sex underwater

[25:00] uh... here's post number one

[25:02] hey has anyone tried this shit let me know

[25:04] post number two nonexistent

[25:08] in theory i'm into that

[25:11] anywho so the movie did have at least one genuinely scary moment

[25:16] right right or at least creepy i wouldn't necessarily say scary

[25:19] my favorite part was ray wise

[25:21] who breathes into the film

[25:23] promised to do an exorcism of the phone

[25:26] and then completely failed in saving the girl

[25:29] he like basically shot her being dead for his unsolved mysteries

[25:33] for his miracles show

[25:34] his miracles show

[25:36] which i assume runs on lifetime after america's psychic challenge

[25:39] and before kid psychics

[25:40] and then he left again

[25:42] and i don't know what the point of his appearance was

[25:46] other than so that i personally would enjoy it

[25:49] give it a shot in the arm

[25:50] the point of his appearance was we can get ray wise for two days

[25:54] what do we got

[25:55] this is ray wise

[25:56] oh i was thinking of ray parks

[25:58] we'll make use of him somehow

[25:59] i guess we can't have him kick box the ghost

[26:02] nice

[26:03] or be the character toad from

[26:06] from x-men

[26:07] yeah from the uncanny x-men

[26:09] but you wouldn't say

[26:10] from the uncanny x-men

[26:11] not the title at all

[26:13] shannon sausman was completely

[26:15] i love that amazing spider man 2 movie

[26:18] it was great

[26:19] shannon sausman was totally dubious about the idea of an exorcism

[26:22] but she was immediately accepting of the idea of

[26:26] you had a major problem with the fact that she never really doubted the idea that phones were killing people

[26:30] no she jumped directly to like okay i guess this is it

[26:33] but then as soon as the professional

[26:34] you know it's like she's the screenwriter

[26:35] like this is the thing i'm going with it

[26:37] the movie's only 80 something minutes long

[26:39] yeah she's like hey we're running out of time here guys i gotta agree with it

[26:43] tick tock

[26:44] i gotta be on the set of rules of attraction 2

[26:46] her character was like i don't know

[26:48] and the director was going come on hurry it up

[26:51] hurry it up

[26:52] we don't have a lot of time in this movie

[26:54] this film was completely improvised

[26:56] that's what explains the writer wise

[26:58] because they happened to find him

[27:01] he was actually waiting to go to someone else's house for a party

[27:04] and they found him outside and just brought him into the scene

[27:07] good movie maker

[27:08] i will say this movie hit me where i live because

[27:10] for the past two weeks

[27:12] i've been getting calls from an 888 number every morning around the same time

[27:16] and i never pick it up because i don't know the number

[27:18] and i think it's the blood bank trying to shame me into giving them more of my precious fluid

[27:22] maybe it's a collection agency or something

[27:24] and they never leave a message

[27:26] and then today finally for the first time i get a message

[27:29] this is ryan from time warner

[27:31] i've called you before about the free HDTV for three months offer that we've been running

[27:37] since you bought an HDTV recently

[27:39] but now it's too late

[27:41] give me a call back before we run out of time

[27:43] and it's like this is the message you've been calling every day at the same time for two weeks

[27:46] and not leaving a message for like this is the call

[27:49] that i've been dreading

[27:50] i think it was trying to trick you elliot

[27:52] i mean he's trying to build up suspense

[27:55] if i had answered the phone

[27:57] and the message would have been like of me going

[27:59] i don't know what to do

[28:01] i don't

[28:04] oh my god what are you doing with that chainsaw

[28:06] that would have been

[28:08] a train is running me over

[28:09] i would be

[28:11] a train is running me over right now

[28:16] each individual wheel

[28:18] i'm getting another call

[28:20] okay i'm back

[28:23] but like that would have been more fitting to me

[28:25] like then just this guy saying

[28:27] i've called you before about this

[28:29] like yeah leave me a message

[28:31] dumbass come on

[28:32] i'm not a mind reader

[28:33] but i almost wish it was something spooky like that

[28:35] to make it worthwhile

[28:37] pressing ignore on my phone

[28:39] to add some spice to your otherwise relatively boring day

[28:41] to my otherwise boring day of producing television shows

[28:45] whoa whoa

[28:47] i'm not loaning it up

[28:49] i'm just saying my life has a certain amount of glamour

[28:51] that doesn't need ghosts in it

[28:53] elliot was late to the record

[28:55] because they had brian williams on the show tonight

[28:58] and we can't tape the show till late when brian williams is on

[29:00] because he has to do the nightly news first

[29:02] by the way this is the second time this has happened

[29:04] which makes me think that brian williams

[29:06] is the flop house's nemesis

[29:08] we can make it that way

[29:09] i like to think that brian williams

[29:11] is doing this deliberately

[29:12] because he knows that

[29:14] our television is on the way out

[29:16] and podcasts

[29:18] he feels really threatened by this

[29:20] you know 50% of people get their news from movie podcasts

[29:24] brian williams is feeling that bite

[29:26] so i found out about keith ledger dying

[29:28] really keith ledger passed away too?

[29:30] oh that's horrible

[29:32] their family just lost heath

[29:34] and now keith is dead also

[29:38] they hate other twins

[29:40] is that a prestige thing?

[29:42] no they just use magic

[29:44] they're twins

[29:46] this is getting really conceptual

[29:48] so i'm going to take it back to the film

[29:50] my favorite bit in the whole movie

[29:52] was when they go to visit with this

[29:54] really creepy little girl

[29:56] who won't say anything

[29:58] to set it up we think that the girl

[30:00] has been abused by her mom because of Munchausen by proxy,

[30:05] a disease that happens 10,000 times more often in the movies and TV than it does in real life.

[30:10] This is another thing taken from another horror movie because it's in the sixth sense

[30:14] when there's a tangentially related plot about Munchausen by proxy syndrome.

[30:19] But anyway, they go to see the girls.

[30:21] Yeah, so they go to see this little girl and she's got a teddy bear.

[30:25] I just wish the sixth sense had followed up and done sequels about him

[30:29] and his ghost buddies solving crimes after the fact.

[30:32] I totally agree.

[30:33] That would have been great.

[30:35] He's like Deadman kind of.

[30:36] Like the ghost of the victim told me where to find the murder weapon for you see, officer.

[30:42] It was the mother who was the killer.

[30:44] Well, I don't know how you do it, kid, but you solved another unsolved mystery.

[30:48] Let's close the case on this one, boys.

[30:50] Well, let's just say I had a little help from my friends.

[30:53] Then he winks at a ghost who fades away.

[30:56] What a great show.

[30:57] A ghost of a cowboy.

[31:00] You got to help me find me gold, Haley.

[31:03] It was buried out here and stolen from me by some varmints.

[31:07] He just travels the country solving crimes.

[31:10] What's great is it's the seventh sense, eighth sense, ninth sense.

[31:13] You just keep increasing the numbers.

[31:15] It works. That's the thing.

[31:17] Anyway, what you were saying, so teddy bear.

[31:19] Oh, yeah, there's a teddy bear that's a bandit, I guess,

[31:21] because he's got a little bandana around his neck while he robs banks.

[31:26] And they're staring at her while she sits in a chair by herself staring at the wall.

[31:31] And then all of a sudden, all of a sudden, all of a sudden,

[31:36] all of a sudden pops in.

[31:38] Hello, everybody, it's me, all of a sudden.

[31:41] Trouble with ghosts, eh?

[31:43] Tip, tip, gotta go.

[31:45] Bob's your uncle, mate.

[31:47] Ghosts are real jacks, all right, all right, all right.

[31:51] Just go down the apple and pears.

[31:55] So all of a sudden shows up.

[31:57] And she, all of a sudden, her teddy bear starts making the same noise

[32:04] as the magic ghost ringtone.

[32:06] Oh, yeah, the mist call is always a specific ringtone.

[32:09] That's right.

[32:10] Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you probably saw in the trailer.

[32:12] If not, watch the trailer and you'll know what it is.

[32:15] It's not that frog song from England.

[32:17] Yeah, and so Shannon Sasserman flips out.

[32:20] She's like, oh, my God, what's happening?

[32:23] And the nurse, like, touches her and she's like, oh, no, that's just the song.

[32:27] That's the song the bear makes.

[32:30] And you're like, oh, wait a minute.

[32:32] That's just the song the bear plays.

[32:34] It's the best line in the movie and the best performance of a line in the movie.

[32:39] Yeah, her reading.

[32:40] A zero out of zero.

[32:41] A non-deadpan.

[32:42] A deadpan reading of a shitty, unrealistic line that no person would ever say

[32:47] that's just there to connect the dots for the three people in the audience

[32:51] It's too stupid to recognize that that was the same song the phones were playing.

[32:55] Do you think one of those people was, like, one of the executives who was watching a rough cut of the movie?

[32:59] I have to assume.

[33:00] What the fuck are they flipping out for?

[33:03] I don't understand.

[33:04] Why is she so scared about the bear?

[33:05] That's just the song the bear plays.

[33:07] Let's put in a line of dialogue just making sure everybody knows that's just the song the bear plays.

[33:13] On the piano.

[33:16] When the bear was alive.

[33:19] That was the one song the bear knew how to play.

[33:21] It was like his heart and soul.

[33:23] That was his party trick.

[33:24] I can pick this out.

[33:25] All right, hold on.

[33:27] There's also one scene where the girl is lying asleep with the bear in her hands

[33:31] and you see the bear suddenly start moving towards the camera

[33:35] and it turns out it's Ed Burns.

[33:37] In a reverse shot we see it's Ed Burns picking up the bear.

[33:39] But the movie is trying to fake you out for a minute into believing that this is a film about an evil bear

[33:44] that comes to life and kills people, which would have been great.

[33:48] That would be definitely preferable to the ultimate solution.

[33:51] It would be like the video box of Silent Night, Deadly Night 2.

[33:54] And the solution is a solution that anyone who has seen a Japanese horror film could have come up with.

[34:00] Little Girl Who Was Wronged.

[34:02] Or no, she's evil, I guess.

[34:03] Little Girl Who Was Killed and attacks people through technology.

[34:07] Yeah.

[34:08] But she never makes a cat noise.

[34:10] It is pretty much just the ring.

[34:13] Well, we, like the film, have already laid in all the clues you need to put this together.

[34:20] Do you know who committed the crimes?

[34:23] Perhaps you should stop the podcast now.

[34:26] Write up what you think happened.

[34:28] Put it in an envelope and see who was closest.

[34:31] Are you done?

[34:33] That's good for a while.

[34:34] Let's continue.

[34:35] Yeah, what happens is it has this weird usual suspects ending

[34:42] where literally everything that this girl sees while she's dying

[34:46] then becomes part of the tapestry of the film.

[34:49] Yeah, so it's like, oh, they've got a creepy statue of a woman pushing a stroller,

[34:52] so that's why there's a crazy ghost woman with a stroller.

[34:55] And by the way, in the nursery of this child,

[34:57] they have the creepiest statue of a woman pushing a stroller.

[34:59] It's so incredibly scary.

[35:01] A statue that only makes sense in the context of a horror movie.

[35:03] You would never give this to a child.

[35:05] Oh, and she died of an asthma attack because her inhaler ran out of stuff,

[35:09] so that's why you hear a noise like an inhaler every time someone's about to die.

[35:15] She saw the bear right before she died, and she knocked it over.

[35:17] Yeah, the bear has a nanny cam inside of it.

[35:19] And it started playing, and that's the song that plays.

[35:23] I think she's just angry that basically she can never escape the way she died.

[35:27] She's getting older.

[35:28] She doesn't want to be associated with it anymore.

[35:30] Ed Burns is looking at the nanny cam footage through this bear.

[35:33] Also, he says, it's a nanny cam.

[35:36] People use it so they can watch their kids.

[35:38] No, a nanny cam is so you can watch your nanny to make sure she's not abusing your kids.

[35:42] They would call it a kid cam if it was for watching your kids.

[35:45] It's not a nanny cam.

[35:46] So wait, the camera's not supposed to be the nanny, right?

[35:49] No, the camera's not the nanny.

[35:50] It's not like Nanny the X-Men.

[35:53] The evil kid has been torturing the good kid.

[35:57] As evil kids do.

[35:59] Yeah, and the evil kid dies after being caught in her room.

[36:05] There's a problem because she doesn't have enough of her inhaler,

[36:08] and she's trying to call someone for help on her cell phone,

[36:11] which is why the cell phone is tied in.

[36:13] But the most hilarious thing about the idea of everything that she sees

[36:16] as she's dying being tied into her whole mythology

[36:19] is that she looks up at a jar full of centipedes,

[36:23] and that's why there's centipedes involved.

[36:26] There's a jar full of live centipedes in this nursery.

[36:30] Huge, like these are the kinds of centipedes you find in the rainforest.

[36:33] They're enormous.

[36:34] Like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom centipedes.

[36:36] Yeah, they're like porn star penis-sized centipedes.

[36:39] Like that kind of girth.

[36:41] You guys say girth, huh?

[36:43] I thought it was going to be me tonight.

[36:45] If you're wearing shorts like that, one of us is going to say the word girth.

[36:47] Nice.

[36:49] Oh, and everyone who dies, a piece of candy falls out of their mouth when they die.

[36:54] I thought that was a grape.

[36:55] It looks like a grape, but it's a piece of candy.

[36:57] It looks like a marble.

[36:58] It looks like a marble, a grape, a bauble.

[37:00] Maybe a frozen grape.

[37:02] A tiny thing of amber.

[37:05] I don't remember if she sees candy or maybe she's just got enough life to put candy in her mouth.

[37:09] It's because every time the one little girl hurt her sister with a knife or some shit,

[37:14] she gave her candy, right?

[37:16] Yeah, to shut her up.

[37:18] Said with the anger of someone who had to shut up a little kid at some point.

[37:23] Like Leonardo DiCaprio's movie about how they make candy?

[37:27] Yeah, where Leonardo DiCaprio plays an Afrikaner in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

[37:33] You've got to boycott M&M Mars.

[37:35] They're involved in the blood candy trade.

[37:37] So many Oompa Loompas died.

[37:40] I want to see that parody trailer so badly now for blood candy,

[37:44] where he investigates the deaths of innocent Oompa Loompas.

[37:47] Listen, why don't you make a mashup and put it on YouTube?

[37:50] The Flophouse contest? Try that as your entry.

[37:53] That's 100,000 hits right there.

[37:55] Yep, I like getting lots of hits.

[37:57] Listen, I'll give the Flophouse audience all the Ziggy pitches it wants

[38:01] if they will just make that trailer for us.

[38:03] All right, so we have gone a really long time.

[38:05] Let's just skip to our judgments on this film.

[38:08] Elliot, what do you think?

[38:09] I thought actually it was a bad movie, but we did have fun watching it.

[38:13] It was short. It moved really fast.

[38:15] It's stupid, but like the stupidness you could make fun of

[38:18] in like 10,000 B.C. where it was boringly stupid.

[38:21] So I give it a bad but okay to watch.

[38:25] Stuart, what do you think?

[38:26] Yeah, I'll probably go with Elliot on this one.

[38:28] I mean, I'm not going to say that it was really that great,

[38:31] but I think maybe I've just been really biased

[38:34] because the past couple of ones we've watched have been total shit.

[38:36] If we had watched this after the Bratz movie,

[38:38] I probably would have given a much worse review.

[38:40] Yeah, exactly, but right now I'm feeling charitable.

[38:42] Yeah, it's like when I watched, if I saw There Will Be Blood,

[38:46] I watched it right after I watched Cries and Whispers, so I was disappointed.

[38:49] But if I had watched it right after I watched Fletch,

[38:52] I probably would have thought it was a much better movie.

[38:54] Yeah.

[38:55] So that's the way it is with this one.

[38:56] Come on, Fletch lives. Let's give credit to Fletch.

[38:58] In all of our hearts.

[39:00] I wish Fletch had died in that movie

[39:02] and then ended with someone pointing at another person's heart and goes,

[39:05] Fletch will always live on in here.

[39:08] And then they look up to the sky and Chevy Chase's face appears,

[39:12] a single tear rolling down his cheek.

[39:14] I mean, I like that movie.

[39:16] Oh, man.

[39:17] And then he bursts out of his tomb at the end.

[39:20] Just his hand.

[39:21] And he punches through the wall of the mausoleum.

[39:24] And then he pushes his face up and goes, I'm back.

[39:27] And then the credits roll to the Fletch rap.

[39:31] And then there's a third Fletch movie where Fletch goes back as a zombie

[39:35] to the newsroom and eats Sheena Davis.

[39:37] Yeah, Weekend at Fletch's.

[39:39] They've got to pretend he's still alive.

[39:40] That would be horrifying.

[39:41] Anyway, Fletch becomes her.

[39:43] And Dan, what did you think about the movie?

[39:45] No, I'm in total agreement with both of you.

[39:47] I give this a marginal fun bad movie recommendation.

[39:52] Yeah, marginal is a good way to put it.

[39:54] Again, if we hadn't had such a bad run of films,

[39:58] maybe I would rank it lower.

[40:00] but uh... yeah well if wishes were fishes every day of the friday

[40:05] you know i don't know what those things are so i'd like if you're not doing

[40:07] anything and you want to watch a kind of stupid movie where people get killed by

[40:11] cell phone

[40:12] uh... this is probably one of your only options one of the top ten movies in

[40:16] which some of the other top ten

[40:18] yeah i'd say that's the top ten maybe i'm not going to say top five

[40:21] yeah i'm not going to say in the first half of the top ten

[40:23] and ray wise is in it

[40:25] they could easily cast that part with a nobody but they cast it with the guy who

[40:28] should've done the job maybe lance hendrickson could've done it too

[40:31] yeah

[40:32] but ray wise well he's not as fun as ray wise no he'd be more like

[40:37] terrifying yeah

[40:38] i get the feeling that when lance hendrickson coughs sawdust comes out

[40:42] there's something kind of dry about him

[40:44] i for a while thought that uh... he uh... that those lines on his face were

[40:48] tribal scars

[40:51] i really want to see something where he and peter weller play brothers

[40:53] that'd be awesome that's like a comedy like that they gotta get their grandma's ashes

[40:57] cross-country but they never got along when they were kids nice i was expecting

[41:01] to be more like their brothers who are police officers in different countries

[41:05] and they have to come together to solve a crime that's pretty good uh... with

[41:09] aliens what do we do next

[41:11] well max stewart traditionally

[41:13] we talked about movies

[41:14] that we would recommend

[41:17] of course unlike the film

[41:19] we watched tonight hey elliot looks like he's got something on the table

[41:22] oh wait i'm not here

[41:23] i have to think about what i'm going to recommend

[41:26] i've watched a bunch of movies i'm trying to remember one that i'd recommend i've watched a

[41:30] number that have been good but like they've already got a fair amount of

[41:33] press so like i saw like funny games recently that was great the american

[41:36] versioner

[41:37] english-speaking version

[41:39] uh... dark knight was great let's see uh... i'm actually gonna recommend

[41:43] something qualified qualified recommendation partly because i was

[41:46] really disappointed in it i watched uh... that's a good reason to give a qualified

[41:50] recommendation i want to give a qualified recommendation because the movie was sucky

[41:54] uh... mainly because i hated it i watched the movie doomsday

[42:00] oh you were excited about doomsday i was and uh... i still kind of am

[42:04] uh... it's you know it's the third neil marshall movie he made uh... dog

[42:09] soldiers the movie about dudes fighting werewolves

[42:12] which is pretty good and then the descent which is uh... great

[42:15] on pretty woman right

[42:17] uh... no different different

[42:20] and the other sister

[42:21] as gary martinez gary marshall princess diaries to neil marshall like that

[42:24] i don't think so we're there were was a man

[42:27] i think so okay they probably i didn't see it will do is there is a you know

[42:30] about a bunch of bullshit post-apocalyptic shit

[42:34] in scotland's basically boring

[42:36] uh... but the uh... and basically kind of felt like the guy was given a lot of

[42:39] money

[42:40] and he's like hey i'd like all these other movies i'm gonna make the craziest

[42:44] movie i can with all this budget

[42:46] you know it doesn't really work that was a movie but it's really glory

[42:50] so

[42:51] that was kind of that was cool it was nice to see a movie that has a big

[42:53] budget and is also really gory

[42:55] and malcolm mcdowell's in it

[42:57] so so instant quality yeah obviously he's he's a great actor he's i'll never

[43:01] forget taping a uh... shannon worry movie

[43:05] off of hpl a tonight when i was a teenager

[43:07] and being really surprised to find malcolm mcdowell in it

[43:11] right after seeing where woman tried on lingerie

[43:14] topless and then suddenly they suddenly malcolm mcdowell was talking to the main

[43:18] characters and i was like what

[43:20] wait a minute hold on a second

[43:22] from clockwork orange hold on what are you doing he also star in caligula

[43:26] oh yeah he's made all sorts of crazy stuff

[43:29] yeah and he was in tank girl

[43:31] yeah well he'll make it pretty much anything was he the bad guy in milk money

[43:34] the film in which uh... ed harris a kid gets a prostitute i didn't know there was a bad

[43:39] guy in that movie

[43:41] there was a bad guy in that movie?

[43:44] that's like saying there's a bad guy in the sandlot

[43:48] like there's an evil dog

[43:50] there's no villain

[43:51] milk money aside from being in the movie

[43:54] i don't know if his dad was the villain

[43:56] like there's a villain in rookie of the year

[44:01] no no that's angels in the outfield

[44:03] rookie of the year is the one where the kid breaks his arm and suddenly can throw major fastballs

[44:08] all those kids breaking their arms

[44:10] aside from being a movie about a guy who

[44:14] finds love with a prostitute his son provided for him

[44:17] it's also a environmental

[44:19] environmental movie

[44:21] like ed harris is all about saving the wetlands and malcolm adeptmcdowell is some sort of

[44:26] anti wetland guy if i recall the movie he's an anti swamp lobbyist

[44:31] he just doesn't like them

[44:33] he likes his land to be dry so uh... just to summarize if you want to watch a movie

[44:37] that will ultimately disappoint you but we'll have a couple moments of like wow that was

[44:41] really gross

[44:42] uh... you can watch doomsday

[44:44] well uh... the movie that i think i'll recommend is uh... i just watched the getaway

[44:48] not the alec baldwin kem basinger version but the sam peckinpah version

[44:54] steve mcqueen alan mcgraw

[44:56] and uh...

[44:57] you know it's just a really

[44:58] i i i know that people who like sam peckinpah sort of like

[45:02] look at it as a minor film

[45:05] but the thing is it's just a solid thriller like it's a really stylishly made

[45:10] movie and uh...

[45:11] one thing i also found kind of interesting about it is

[45:14] a lot of it reminded me of uh... no country for old men i mean obviously the

[45:18] the basic outline of there being this sort of bag

[45:21] that the characters have and they're trying to get

[45:25] with it safely to uh...

[45:27] mexico while you know people from different sides

[45:31] are trying to find them

[45:32] uh... you know that's sort of like a standard like uh...

[45:36] southwestern war

[45:37] setup however

[45:39] a lot of the atmosphere of the film

[45:41] like i really felt

[45:42] like the coen's maybe looked at that or maybe they looked at the original

[45:45] the book

[45:46] uh... getaway

[45:47] you know it's just a really enjoyable thriller

[45:50] not bad

[45:51] uh... the most recent the movie i saw most recently that i actually liked was

[45:56] a movie called rembrandt

[45:57] starring uh... charles loughton in the title role of rembrandt van ryan

[46:01] it's an alex corda film from the thirties but i figure

[46:04] is their follow-up i think to the private life of henry the eighth

[46:07] like we gotta do another

[46:08] biopic about a guy from centuries ago and it's pretty good are you sure you're not

[46:12] thinking of that movie andre about the train seals

[46:15] that's a different movie not not beethoven no not zeus and roxanne either

[46:20] this is about a human painter

[46:22] in the seventeenth century i guess but uh...

[46:24] that was very good but i think more along the lines for our listenership

[46:27] if you can't find rembrandt because i don't know if it's available in any format

[46:30] anywhere

[46:31] i take it off turn classic movies

[46:32] is not too long i guess a couple months ago right and i guess it was about four

[46:37] weeks ago

[46:37] because it was during my last break i've rewatched scanners

[46:41] which i had not seen all the way through a long time and there's something about

[46:44] the movie

[46:44] it's a really

[46:45] tight thriller for the most part even if it doesn't always make sense and

[46:49] the basic

[46:50] mechanics of being a scanner kind of slapdash

[46:53] but uh...

[46:54] there's something so comforting lee eighties about it

[46:57] that i can't quite explain i think it might be because

[47:00] i was born in nineteen eighty one so i grew up in as a kid in nineteen eighties

[47:03] when i see movies that were made in the eighties

[47:05] and really feel like they're made in the eighties it's like

[47:08] even though it's a movie about guys who make people's heads explode with their

[47:10] minds there's something like

[47:12] uh... like this is a warm bath of a movie

[47:15] you know everybody's clothes are kind of a are eighties-ish their hair

[47:19] you know they all drive eighties cars and have eighties faces michael ironsides is really good in it

[47:23] michael ironsides is great in it they're also all very canadian

[47:26] they're all canadian and canada is like an eternal nineteen eighties like

[47:31] now is like the nineteen nineties but in the nineteen eighties it was like super

[47:34] nineteen eighties it had been the nineteen eighties for a while there

[47:37] and another cronenberg movie video drone feels the same way that it like

[47:40] it's so eighties everything about it that it just feels like

[47:44] pulling a blanket around my shoulders you know

[47:46] it's very nice so scanner if you want to feel warm and fuzzy

[47:48] scanners

[47:49] and also a guy's eyes explode at the end

[47:52] so thank you david cronenberg for all the warm feelings you brought to us

[47:56] i don't know if he's like i have the same affection for the movie war games

[48:00] because everything about it is nineteen eighties

[48:02] whereas something like say are they remaking that? they make a sequel

[48:06] i guess

[48:07] joshua the computer that takes up a room is still

[48:09] it would have like that thing would be the size of a jump drive now but i guess

[48:13] maybe it comes out of retirement because it's not much personal

[48:16] i don't know

[48:17] or maybe terrorist hack-in i don't remember

[48:20] dr falcon you know is probably passed on

[48:22] maybe it turns into one of those transformers that are so hot

[48:26] maybe they're so big with the kids now

[48:27] i just hope davni coleman is brought back for it yeah that would be awesome

[48:31] he hasn't done a lot of work lately

[48:33] star of short time, drexel's class, mad men of the people, cloak and dagger

[48:39] cloak and dagger

[48:40] yeah not as good as i thought it was

[48:43] that's one that doesn't age well

[48:45] that's a nineteen eighties movie but war games is great war games holds up

[48:48] i think i've recommended it in the past there's war games is so fantastic even

[48:51] though

[48:52] it's pretty silly

[48:53] it's got eddie deason in it

[48:55] and i remember watching as a kid watching war games

[48:59] i mean like this is a great movie

[49:00] and then they go to professor falcon's island retreat

[49:03] and the next thing you see is a fucking tyrannodon flying around

[49:06] and being like

[49:07] holy shit this movie just got so much better

[49:10] and there's the disappointment of it being a remote-controlled like gliding

[49:13] machine

[49:14] but just the last thing i expected was my favorite thing in the world a

[49:17] dinosaur to appear in this movie

[49:19] oh that makes me feel so good just thinking about that

[49:22] well uh...

[49:23] we should wrap it up soon but i want to say uh... i mentioned a contest earlier

[49:28] and uh... we have been

[49:30] very vague about this contest

[49:32] which is surprising we put a lot of thought into this contest it's

[49:35] not like we announced it out of nowhere

[49:37] with no forethought

[49:39] yeah it's not like i'm drunk when we do these

[49:43] it's not like you're drunk and wearing tiny shorts when we do these movies

[49:48] and uh... and the a.c.'s off so it's getting kind of sweaty

[49:51] sweaty i wish i had my thighs exposed like you do

[49:55] there's three men hanging out sweating

[49:57] makes the chair feel weird

[50:00] really small swim trunks, just being guys together.

[50:03] Yeah, just being dudes.

[50:05] So wait, we were talking about our contest thing, right?

[50:07] The contest, yeah.

[50:08] Before I got really oddly dreamy.

[50:11] There's a contest on, if you want to enter it,

[50:15] send us an email with the subject heading

[50:17] Flophouse Contest to theflophousepodcast at gmail.com.

[50:21] And I realized that aside from not really setting rules,

[50:26] we didn't set an end date.

[50:28] So I was going to say, get in your entries

[50:32] before August 20th.

[50:34] Wow, there's a lot of time left in this contest.

[50:37] Well, this is a, we only get together

[50:40] to do actual episodes once every two weeks.

[50:44] So I'm going to give.

[50:45] Wait, just to clarify, I'm not allowed

[50:47] to enter the contest, right?

[50:48] No.

[50:49] Why would you want to win the prize

[50:51] of being, of watching a movie with us?

[50:53] Employees in the Flophouse are not allowed.

[50:54] You already do that.

[50:55] Wait, I'm allowed to keep watching movies with you guys?

[50:57] Yes.

[50:59] Okay, cool.

[51:00] In case what Stewart said didn't clue you in,

[51:03] the prize is to watch a movie with us.

[51:06] And it's fun.

[51:07] To have some snacks, to appear on the show.

[51:09] Travel costs are provided by you,

[51:11] but snack costs are provided by us.

[51:13] Yeah.

[51:14] I'll buy you, I'll buy beer.

[51:16] And I'll get Popeyes if we're anywhere

[51:18] near Dan's apartment.

[51:19] I don't think, I think we have to do it at my place.

[51:21] Oh yeah, that's right.

[51:21] We maybe can do it here.

[51:23] Ooh.

[51:24] Anyway.

[51:25] But I would say, don't put this off to the last minute.

[51:27] So we've had some strong entries already.

[51:29] We have had some strong entries.

[51:29] Some surprisingly strong entries.

[51:31] So, that's all I want to say about that.

[51:34] For the Flophouse, I'm Stewart Wellington.

[51:36] For the Flophouse.

[51:40] I'm Dan McCoy.

[51:42] I remain Elliot Kalin.

[51:44] Peace.

[51:45] Didn't Jonathan Lipnicki also do the movie

[51:53] where his friend was a vampire?

[51:55] Yeah.

[51:56] The Littlest Vampire.

[51:59] It should be like a 1978 Christmas special on ABC.

[52:04] The Littlest Vampire.

[52:05] With like, crummy stop motion animation or?

[52:08] Yeah, rank and pass style.

[52:10] This is pretty comfy.

[52:11] I'm very comfortable.

[52:12] I don't know, I'd be more comfortable.

[52:13] Yeah, move the microphone.

[52:14] Hello.

[52:17] In your tiny bathing suit.

[52:18] In my tiny bathing suit.

[52:21] The Littlest Bathing Suit.

[52:22] Starring Stewart Wellington.

The Flop House: Episode #21 - One Missed Call

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