The Flop House: Episode #21 - One Missed Call

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss One Missed Call, the scariest movie based on a thing that your answering service says.

[0:30] Welcome to the Flophouse listeners, I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:37] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:38] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[0:39] So this needs to be addressed. Stuart, you're wearing some very small bathing shorts.

[0:48] Yeah, swim trunks.

[0:49] Why is that?

Stuart Wellington

[0:51] I just bought some and I thought it would be really comfortable.

Dan McCoy

[0:57] Just for laughs, you thought you'd change into your sort of Speedo style.

[1:01] Is it very comfortable?

Stuart Wellington

[1:02] Well, they're comfortable and I didn't think laughs.

[1:05] I thought maybe, you know, it'd make me look good on the podcast.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08] How does it feel? Is cradled the right word? Do you feel cradled right now?

Stuart Wellington

[1:11] Yeah, like I feel like a nice hand is cupping everything.

Dan McCoy

[1:16] So let's paint a picture for listeners.

[1:18] Stuart's wearing some Converse shoes.

[1:21] Some filthy Converse shoes.

[1:22] Filthy?

[1:23] With white socks.

[1:24] And then there's a big expanse of bare leg going up to...

[1:30] Very pale.

[1:30] What I would describe as a strip of cloth covering his junk area.

[1:38] Junk area.

[1:39] And then a yellow t-shirt that says, my best friend is Jesus.

[1:44] With a picture of Jesus ministering to children.

[1:46] You got a compliment for the shirt?

Stuart Wellington

[1:48] Yeah, I got a compliment on the shirt.

[1:50] And the shorts, obviously.

[1:51] And for his package.

[1:53] Yeah, well, awkward.

Dan McCoy

[1:56] So, but in non-Swim Trunks news, we watched one missed call tonight.

Stuart Wellington

[2:01] Yeah.

[2:02] That didn't make me feel cradled or good.

[2:05] No.

Elliott Kalan

[2:06] Although, I gotta say, I don't want to skip ahead too far to the ratings already, but this was a winner compared to some of the ones that we'd seen recently.

[2:13] Well, it's certainly compared to what we've watched recently.

Dan McCoy

[2:15] Yeah, I mean, it's not 10,000 BC.

[2:16] I mean, coming out of 10,000 BC, anything's gonna look pretty good.

Elliott Kalan

[2:19] This movie was 12,000 years later and like 100 times better.

[2:22] But anyway, one missed call.

[2:24] Starring Shannon Sassaman.

[2:26] Sassaman, yeah.

[2:26] And Edward Burns.

Stuart Wellington

[2:28] Yeah, Shannon Sassaman is in like my least favorite movie of all time.

[2:31] I don't know if we've addressed that before.

[2:32] Yeah, 40 Days and...

[2:33] Oh, yeah, we did.

[2:34] Yeah, right.

Dan McCoy

[2:34] You encouraged people to check it out from their local video store and then throw it away.

[2:39] Yeah, that offer still stands, guys.

Stuart Wellington

[2:41] Nobody's had to ask me to compensate them for that, which I appreciate.

[2:43] Because they felt good after they did it.

[2:45] Yeah, obviously.

[2:45] It was worth the money.

Dan McCoy

[2:46] Yeah.

[2:47] So, as I said during the movie, Shannon Sassaman and Ed Burns, two of the most expressive actors of their generation.

[2:53] Just real...

Stuart Wellington

[2:54] I think this is our second Ed Burns movie, right?

[2:57] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[2:57] Sound of Thunder.

[2:58] I think the only way it could be less expressive is if it was Charlie Rose and that one rich socialite who had all that plastic surgery so she looks like a Catwoman now.

[3:06] Like two people who can't move their faces at all.

Dan McCoy

[3:08] Yeah.

[3:08] Well, Shannon Sassaman just looked worried throughout the whole movie.

[3:12] And Ed Burns is playing the note of Gravelly.

[3:17] I think he's really good at playing Gravelly.

Elliott Kalan

[3:19] That was his solo album, Songs in the Key of Gravel.

[3:22] Yeah.

[3:23] And a beautiful performance by Ray Wise also.

Dan McCoy

[3:28] Yeah.

[3:28] Ray Wise, man.

Elliott Kalan

[3:29] He's like helium.

[3:30] He's like a burst of helium to any movie.

[3:32] It just rises.

[3:32] You can enliven anything.

Dan McCoy

[3:33] Ray Wise, for people who maybe don't remember, best known as Leland Palmer in Twin Peaks.

[3:41] And one of the bad guys from Robocop.

[3:43] Yeah, I always think of Robocop.

[3:43] That's true.

[3:44] Yeah.

[3:45] He was the...

[3:46] He's in many, many things.

[3:47] He starred in Jeepers Creepers 2.

[3:49] Certainly the best thing about that movie.

Elliott Kalan

[3:51] Yeah.

[3:51] Lately, he's been in Reaper on the CW, I think it is.

[3:54] Plays the devil on Reaper.

[3:55] And here he plays the producer of an exorcism and miracles based television show.

[4:01] But it's more like Unsolved Mysteries.

[4:02] It does live broadcast.

[4:04] That's right.

[4:04] It does a live broadcast from a church.

Dan McCoy

[4:06] I don't want to get ahead of the plot.

[4:07] Oh, sorry.

[4:08] I just want to say that Ray Wise shows up for a moment to enliven the proceedings and to create great enjoyment in the audience.

[4:17] And then completely disappears from the story without any resolution to his storyline.

Elliott Kalan

[4:22] No resolution to the, I just produced a TV show in which someone was murdered in real life in a church.

[4:28] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[4:28] Somebody was murdered on film.

Elliott Kalan

[4:31] It's like, oh, egg on my face.

[4:32] I guess this is going in the jeers column in TV Guide.

[4:35] Well, I guess I'm on to the next episode.

[4:38] Yeah.

[4:39] Peace out, Shannon Sossaman.

[4:41] This is the worst thing since Al Capone's vault.

[4:43] Well, on to my next project.

[4:45] I hear the Jersey Devil's been caught and the Mothman is on the loose.

[4:49] Let's go make TV shows about those.

Dan McCoy

[4:51] Sure.

[4:51] Yeah, but so there are murders.

[4:53] Ray Wise.

[4:54] Now I hate him.

[4:55] Hey, that Mothman movie wasn't very good either.

Elliott Kalan

[4:57] Yeah, we should watch that one too, Mothman Prophecies.

[5:00] Yeah.

[5:01] It's a little old.

[5:01] Anyway.

Dan McCoy

[5:02] It came out four years ago, say.

[5:04] I think it came out like six years ago.

Elliott Kalan

[5:06] Anyway, one missed call.

[5:07] Should we go over what the plot is about in this crazy?

Dan McCoy

[5:09] Yeah, Elliot, you're aces at this, so why don't you do your fast recap?

[5:14] It has something to do with cellular phones, right?

[5:15] Because everybody uses those, right?

[5:17] Basically, Shannon Sossaman's friends have a problem.

Elliott Kalan

[5:19] They keep missing calls.

[5:21] Then when they listen to the message, it's them being killed.

[5:25] And they go, ah, this is horrible.

[5:28] I'm getting messages of myself being killed.

[5:29] This is crazy.

[5:30] And then they start seeing horrible phantasms around them.

[5:34] And then they usually get killed.

[5:35] One of them is hit by a train.

[5:37] One has a flying piece of metal from a construction site.

[5:39] Yeah, some rebar.

[5:41] Yeah, rebar.

[5:41] They get thrown through his chest and so forth.

[5:44] Shannon Sossaman investigates with the help of Ed Burns, the policeman who doesn't believe

[5:48] in ghosts but kind of does.

[5:50] And Margaret Cho, who shows up out of nowhere for a couple scenes as another policeman who

[5:54] really doesn't believe in ghosts.

[5:56] So much so that she is a non-factor.

Dan McCoy

[5:58] Yeah, another character that does not have a character arc or anything that's resolved.

Elliott Kalan

[6:03] No.

[6:03] Yeah.

[6:04] Ray Wise comes in as the producer of this television show that somehow has heard of this phone

[6:09] problem and knows that Shannon Sossaman's Latina friend is the next victim.

[6:14] He broadcasts an exorcism.

[6:15] She's superstitious being Latina and Catholic.

[6:18] You know, it's very bizarre that they – she's a modern college student but they're like,

[6:22] we can give you an exorcism.

[6:23] And she's like, Santa Maria.

[6:25] Gracias.

[6:26] Oh, me.

[6:27] Gracias.

[6:28] No, that was good.

[6:29] Thank you.

[6:29] That was what she sounded like.

[6:30] And then anyway, to cut a long story short, it turns out that there was a hospital that

[6:34] burned down years ago and there was a little girl and her mother in it.

[6:38] Everyone thought that the mother was hurting the little girl to get attention but it turns

[6:41] out that this little girl whose little sister is still alive was some sort of psycho monster.

[6:46] They're both dead and the little girl is going through telephones and killing people.

Dan McCoy

[6:50] Yeah, it turns out it's the evil sister who's like a bad seed character.

[6:54] Yeah, like the good son.

[6:56] Exactly.

[6:57] Yeah, exactly.

[6:57] Like Macaulay Culkin.

Elliott Kalan

[6:58] Elijah Wood – oh, yeah, Macaulay Culkin was the bad one in that one.

[7:01] Yeah.

[7:02] I got it mixed up.

[7:02] Of course he's the bad one.

[7:04] Just like in real life.

[7:07] And the end – should I give away the ending?

Dan McCoy

[7:09] Well, let's jump back now that you've given like a good overview.

[7:12] Okay.

[7:12] Sure.

Elliott Kalan

[7:13] So Ghost of a Little Girl is killing people through phones.

[7:16] Yeah.

[7:16] And Shannon Sossaman has it happen to all of her friends and gets creeped out and, you know.

Dan McCoy

[7:20] Well, I mean this is a great horror movie, Elliot, because it plays on the common fear that

[7:26] everyone has about getting calls on their phone.

[7:29] It's the most terrifying experience that you can have in life.

[7:33] I mean I was wondering what the metaphor for the – because, you know, most horror movies

[7:37] are in some way like allegorical or they're playing on a common fear.

[7:41] Well, they're just a comment on something in society.

[7:43] Yeah.

[7:43] I mean the closest I can come up with is the idea that cell phones are giving you cancer.

[7:48] Cancer in this form, an evil ghost child.

Elliott Kalan

[7:51] Yeah.

[7:51] I think it's like with cell phones, even when we miss a call, people can still get in

[7:55] touch with us.

[7:56] We're never alone, even when ghosts are around.

[7:59] Like if we had rotary phones, then the ghosts wouldn't be able to get to us unless – if

[8:02] we were in our house.

Dan McCoy

[8:03] Well, I mean it's really going down like the checklist of technology.

[8:07] Like there are all these techno thrillers where it's like, you know what?

[8:11] Technology, it's getting ahead of us.

[8:12] My favorite one of those –

[8:13] It's going to kill us someday.

Elliott Kalan

[8:14] My favorite one of those is the one – has it come out yet?

[8:16] The one with – what's his name from the Skulls and Dawson's Creek?

Dan McCoy

[8:20] Joshua Jackson.

[8:20] Joshua Jackson where he's a photographer.

[8:22] Yeah.

[8:23] Oh, I almost picked that up on the video show.

Elliott Kalan

[8:25] I want to say it because it's like The Ring, but they were like, let's take a step back.

[8:30] You know, let's go to an earlier piece of invention.

[8:33] It's The Ring, but it's just one frame, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[8:36] Still photography.

[8:37] What's next?

[8:38] Like the bread maker that kills people.

Elliott Kalan

[8:40] I'm waiting for the flip book movie.

[8:43] Or is it evil flip book?

[8:44] And they're going back.

Dan McCoy

[8:45] It's like, oh, portraits.

[8:46] I mean like – well, I guess that's the portrait of the story.

[8:48] Yeah, that is.

[8:49] You have little silhouettes.

Elliott Kalan

[8:50] That is a story from 100 years ago, yes.

[8:53] But man.

[8:54] Oh, we have fun.

[8:56] Cell phones.

[8:57] Yeah, so it's evil cell phones, but for no – there's no reason this girl chose cell phones, right?

Dan McCoy

[9:02] This movie jumps directly into the killing.

[9:04] I mean the teaser of this film.

Elliott Kalan

[9:06] This movie is a lean 87 minutes.

[9:08] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[9:08] True.

[9:09] It begins with the –

Elliott Kalan

[9:09] It's not like – what was that one with Hayden Christensen in a coma?

[9:13] Awake?

[9:14] Awake.

[9:14] It's not like Awake, which was 90 minutes long, but felt like it should have been 10 minutes long.

[9:18] That was like a student short film expanded to epic length.

[9:20] But this one, yeah, people start dying fairly quickly.

Dan McCoy

[9:24] Well, immediately.

[9:24] I mean there's always a teaser in these horror movies where death comes right away.

[9:29] But even so, like this movie starts with – there's this woman next to a koi pond, which I guess is a nod to the fact that this is a Japanese woman.

Elliott Kalan

[9:37] That's after the title – like before the title sequence.

[9:40] Yeah, that's right before, right.

[9:41] There's a – isn't it before the fire or after – because the movie opens with a brief shot of that fire at the hospital.

Stuart Wellington

[9:46] Yeah, and then it cuts to the chick in the koi pond.

Elliott Kalan

[9:49] Then it cuts to the koi pond.

Dan McCoy

[9:50] Where she's scared because her cat disappears, which is, as Stuart pointed out, cats do move.

[9:57] They have legs.

Elliott Kalan

[9:58] Cats are known to leave and come back whenever they want to.

Dan McCoy

[10:01] She's totally freaked out by the fact that one moment she looks and her cat's there, and then the next moment it's not there.

[10:06] And she goes over looking for the cat and then –

Elliott Kalan

[10:09] She bends over in her low-cut shirt reminding us that this does take place in Cleaveton, the town of Cleavage.

Dan McCoy

[10:15] And then Carrie style, an arm comes out of the water and grabs her and pulls her in.

[10:21] And then for good measure pulls the cat in.

Stuart Wellington

[10:23] Yeah, well, that was important because I thought for a little while the cat was in cahoots with the ghost.

[10:27] But that clearly showed that –

Elliott Kalan

[10:28] Well, they still could have been and the hands just turned on.

Dan McCoy

[10:30] Yeah, the ghost promised the cat some sardines.

Elliott Kalan

[10:33] I had actually forgotten that a hand jumped out, which brings to mind the fact that the ghost in this movie has no real modus operandi.

[10:42] She just kills with whatever is available and sometimes with things that aren't available.

[10:47] Like there's a knife in the eye.

[10:49] There's a piece of rebar that flies out.

[10:51] There's a train.

[10:52] There's ghostly hands that strangle someone under their skin.

[10:56] There's a hand from a pond.

[10:58] Like it doesn't – it's almost like they wanted to do like Final Destination, but they didn't think about it.

Dan McCoy

[11:02] Well, but also at the beginning the ghost appears to kill by methods that could easily be explained away as an accident.

[11:10] And then I guess over the course of the movie the ghost gets tired and just like, yeah, fuck it.

[11:15] I'm not going to try and cover up on the ghost.

[11:17] I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[11:17] A knife to the eye is pretty accidental.

Stuart Wellington

[11:20] When it comes to the peephole in a door.

Dan McCoy

[11:22] And then disappears.

Stuart Wellington

[11:23] And then explodes all the windows.

[11:25] It implies –

Dan McCoy

[11:26] The ghost by the end is like, you know what?

[11:28] I'm not going to get arrested.

[11:30] I'm a ghost.

[11:31] I don't have to be really subtle and coy.

Elliott Kalan

[11:33] But the implication of the koi pond scene is that this woman killed someone, put their body in the koi pond,

[11:38] and the ghost has chosen to use that as their weapon.

[11:41] Yeah, but no.

[11:41] No, that doesn't pay off.

[11:42] It doesn't make sense.

[11:43] I don't –

[11:44] Yeah, that's weird.

[11:45] Why is there a hand in there?

[11:46] Yeah, I don't really get it.

[11:47] Like was Thing taking a bath?

[11:49] I don't understand.

[11:50] Thing the hand, not Thing.

[11:51] Ben Grimm.

Stuart Wellington

[11:52] Yeah.

[11:53] And not man thing.

[11:54] And not man thing.

[11:55] Or someone thing.

Elliott Kalan

[11:56] Or man bad or swamp thing or thing number one.

[11:58] That thing.

[11:59] What that Lauren Hill song.

[12:00] That thing you do.

[12:01] Or that thing you do.

Dan McCoy

[12:03] Not a DVD copy of that.

Elliott Kalan

[12:05] No.

[12:06] That would be so awesome if there was a movie where the ghost only chose to kill people through DVD copies of that thing you do.

[12:13] So like someone is walking by the shelf on a video store and the case is slowly opening.

[12:19] And then they go, huh?

[12:20] And the DVD comes flying out and slashes their throat.

Dan McCoy

[12:23] Well, you can Hellraiser 3.

Elliott Kalan

[12:25] But with that thing you do.

Dan McCoy

[12:26] If What's-His-Face, the guy who directed The Ring and The American Ring.

[12:31] And...

[12:31] Gore Verbinski?

[12:32] Yeah.

[12:32] Gore Verbinski.

[12:33] Director of Pirates of the Caribbean, right?

[12:35] Had a real grudge against...

[12:37] A real grudge?

[12:38] Ah, nice play on words there, Dan.

[12:41] So it was like, ah, in this Ring remake, I'm just gonna use it as a hatchet job against Tom Hanks.

Elliott Kalan

[12:46] He had a real grudge.

[12:48] He hired a rabbi to ju-on someone.

[12:52] Keep it going.

[12:53] He gave a woman the eye.

[12:55] Yeah.

[12:55] That was Korean, but that's good.

[12:56] That's Korean, yeah.

[12:57] Well, it's Asia, you know.

[12:58] Sure, Asia.

[12:59] What other J-Hara movies are there?

[13:01] Some dark water.

[13:03] Yeah, there you go.

[13:03] Good one.

[13:04] Yeah, man.

[13:04] Took her down to Tortilla Flats.

[13:08] That's a J-Hara movie, right?

[13:10] So they could watch the Tequila Sunrise.

[13:13] Of course.

[13:15] It was a real case of brain donors.

[13:18] All right.

Dan McCoy

[13:20] All right.

[13:21] That's a great one, dude.

[13:23] Oh, man.

[13:23] You're sharp as a tack.

Elliott Kalan

[13:25] Well, you know, any John Turturro movie where it's basically the Marx Brothers.

[13:28] You gave her the old choo-choo and the Philly Flash.

[13:33] Okay.

[13:33] They were racing for mother jugs and speed.

Dan McCoy

[13:36] The point is that this...

[13:38] The Parallax View.

[13:39] And we're done.

[13:40] This movie broke with horror movie tradition by...

[13:44] Not being scary.

[13:46] That was one big way.

[13:48] It also didn't introduce a group of potential victims and then knock them off one by one.

[13:55] Instead, it basically knocked off everyone we'd met and then was like, oh, shit.

[14:00] We need...

[14:01] Well, let's just introduce a new character so we can kill them.

Elliott Kalan

[14:03] Well, they'd show someone who was Sharon Sossman's best friend and then she died.

[14:06] And then it was like, oh, here's another friend of hers at The Wake.

[14:11] And now they're best friends.

[14:12] And then she dies and it's like, oh, well...

Stuart Wellington

[14:14] She's like, hey, I got this really weird phone call.

[14:16] Can you help me out with this?

Elliott Kalan

[14:17] It's almost like she was just known as the girl who was interested in phones on campus.

[14:21] So it was like, hmm, I guess we're friends now.

[14:24] I got a weird phone call.

Stuart Wellington

[14:24] Yeah, I think my favorite moment in the entire movie is when the one friend gets the phone call

[14:28] and they're like, oh, my God, you're going to die, whatever.

[14:30] So they go to talk to the guy at the phone kiosk in the mall.

[14:33] And he's like the coroner in the movie who's eating a sandwich and like, whatever.

[14:39] It's your phone.

[14:39] Do whatever you want.

Dan McCoy

[14:41] Yeah, he's the equivalent in this movie is like Zelda Rubenstein's character in Poltergeist.

[14:46] Like, oh, we need to go to a real phone expert.

[14:49] Let's go to the guy who sells cell phones.

Elliott Kalan

[14:51] I was going to say the robot in the movie Rotor who was the janitor.

[14:55] And they asked the robot, what's going on in this laboratory?

[14:58] And he's like, oh, geez, I don't know.

[15:01] Oh, man, you've got to ask somebody else.

[15:04] But why would they think?

[15:04] I guess most people haven't seen the movie Rotor, I guess.

Dan McCoy

[15:07] They're like, okay, who's going to be able to help us with this killer phone problem?

[15:11] Who really knows about phones?

[15:12] The minimum wage employee.

[15:14] The guy who convinces people to sign up for a cell phone client.

[15:18] Not that there's anything wrong with being a minimum wage employee.

[15:20] No, no, certainly.

[15:21] But I imagine he has his own dreams.

[15:25] His focus isn't just being a cell phone guy.

[15:27] I figured he was just like the guy.

[15:28] You don't think he's in it for, like, it's not a career for him.

[15:30] No, it's a crusade.

Elliott Kalan

[15:32] He's like the guy in the Fave 5 commercials where the guys who don't have the Fave 5 own a wizard.

[15:38] Where it's like, this guy loves phones.

[15:40] Like, he's just in it to spread the gospel of the Fave 5.

[15:44] So I imagine this guy was like that.

[15:45] Except he loves sandwiches.

Dan McCoy

[15:46] Yeah, except for he's just like, you can do whatever you want with your phone.

[15:50] Like, that was the thing.

[15:51] Like, they went to him to try and cancel the service.

[15:54] And when that didn't happen, he just sort of gave them permission to do whatever.

[15:58] And so they stopped on their phone.

[15:59] That was their big solution.

Elliott Kalan

[16:00] I guess what you're saying is this was one of many unnecessary steps.

[16:03] Yeah.

[16:04] Such as there's a later scene where Ed Burns calls Sharon Sussman and she hangs up.

[16:08] Oh, she doesn't answer because she's busy.

[16:10] And he goes, ah!

[16:11] And then he goes to a librarian at the school library and is like, did you see so-and-so?

[16:16] And then he gets a phone call.

[16:17] It's Sharon Sussman.

[16:18] She goes, Shannon.

[16:19] Oh, Shannon Sussman.

[16:20] What's up?

[16:20] What did you call me about a minute ago?

[16:22] Why bother showing us that she missed his call?

[16:25] Yeah, there's an intermediate step.

Dan McCoy

[16:26] I mean, unless that's just keeping in the theme of missed calls.

Elliott Kalan

[16:29] But at that point, don't show us that it's him calling.

[16:31] Just show she has a missed call so that she gets scared.

Stuart Wellington

[16:34] It would have been a lot better if after she ignored it, then she went back and looked at her phone.

[16:38] She was like, one missed call.

[16:39] What the?

[16:40] Oh, God.

[16:41] Oh, phew.

[16:42] I thought that was a ghost.

Dan McCoy

[16:44] Yeah, one missed call from caller ID Edward Burns.

Stuart Wellington

[16:47] She's like, fuck, he's a ghost?

[16:49] Oh, this explains everything.

[16:51] Hey, the weirdest part?

Dan McCoy

[16:52] He's a ghost from his character in Saving Private Ryan.

Stuart Wellington

[16:55] Hey, you know, right now the movie's also playing for some reason.

Dan McCoy

[16:59] Wait, but he lives in Saving Private Ryan.

[16:59] I can't remember.

Elliott Kalan

[17:00] I mean, but he is a World War II veteran.

Stuart Wellington

[17:02] One of the weird things about the movie is that right before anyone dies in the movie,

[17:05] their body gets all, like, dusty and, like, weirdly indistinct.

[17:09] Like the golden compass, almost.

[17:11] Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.

Elliott Kalan

[17:12] Well, there's a lot.

[17:13] I guess what Stuart's getting at is there's a lot of random shit that gets thrown in from other movies in this.

[17:19] Like, when you're going to die, your body turns into dust,

[17:22] and you see all these people walking around who have, like, they live faces.

[17:26] Yeah, monster faces.

[17:27] Monster faces.

[17:28] And then, like, there's a creepy lady pushing a creepy baby carriage,

[17:32] which is only kind of tangentially attached to the villain at the end.

[17:36] Like, it's just like, oh, you're going to die.

[17:38] Here's some stereotypical horror movie things for you to see.

[17:40] Oh, you're dead now.

Stuart Wellington

[17:42] But don't worry.

[17:42] All those weird things are going to relate to what the ghost saw right before the ghost died later on.

[17:49] Yeah, it's...

Dan McCoy

[17:49] Yeah, all the puzzle pieces fit.

[17:52] Except that you have to kind of jam them together a little bit.

Stuart Wellington

[17:54] Yeah.

[17:55] One thing we didn't mention...

[17:56] You've got to spit on them.

[17:57] Make them fit in there.

Elliott Kalan

[17:58] You've got to blow into the cartridge to make sure it works.

Stuart Wellington

[18:01] And jam a copy of Duck Hunt on top.

[18:06] You've got to push it down.

Dan McCoy

[18:07] One thing that happens before people die is they see centipedes.

Elliott Kalan

[18:11] I figured they were just...

[18:12] That's pretty creepy, huh?

[18:13] I figured the centipedes were just out of work after the ring, and they needed some extra.

[18:17] But it's like, there's centipedes from the ring.

[18:19] There are bees, briefly, from Candyman.

[18:21] There's scary puppets, like the Puppet Master.

Stuart Wellington

[18:24] There's that lady with the eyeballs who, instead of eyes, she has mouths.

[18:28] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:28] Like in the box.

[18:28] Like that Madonna video.

[18:30] Yeah.

[18:30] Wait, what?

[18:31] A few years ago.

[18:31] The one...

[18:32] There's that Madonna video that was all, like, steampunk looking.

[18:35] I don't remember that.

[18:36] There's one part where she has an eye instead of a mouth and mouths instead of eyes.

[18:39] Oh, wow.

[18:39] That's important.

Dan McCoy

[18:40] Like the Corinthian, except with an eye instead of a mouth.

[18:42] You should mention steampunk a couple more times, because then maybe we'll become more

[18:46] popular on the internet.

[18:47] Oh, that's right.

[18:48] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:48] So I was reading boingboing.net the other day.

[18:52] It said something interesting about steampunk.

Dan McCoy

[18:53] Corey Doctorow likes the steampunk.

Elliott Kalan

[18:56] Cartoon Research's Jerry Beck.

[18:59] Oh, that's Cartoon Brew.

[19:00] It's a different plot.

Dan McCoy

[19:01] Yeah.

[19:01] Anyway, so they basically, eventually they track down, they use Edward Burns' magical

[19:08] police powers.

[19:09] Yeah.

[19:10] To trace the chain of phone calls.

Elliott Kalan

[19:12] And there's some missed uses for, say, suspense or getting the audience interested, like show

[19:18] them tracking down the calls.

[19:20] You know, they made a whole movie, All the President's Men, about people tracking down

[19:24] paperwork and looking at people who had called other people.

[19:26] You know, that can be exciting.

Dan McCoy

[19:28] So you think there should be more scenes of them, like, just looking through phone records?

Elliott Kalan

[19:31] Not exciting.

[19:31] Or they could do that in dramatic ways.

[19:32] More scenes of that than, like, characters bumming around waiting to die or just creepy

[19:39] nonsense that isn't related to anything.

Stuart Wellington

[19:40] You know, like weird ladies with mouths for eyes.

[19:43] Exactly.

[19:43] Or like the Ray Wise detour, which...

Elliott Kalan

[19:45] Which was brilliant, but also stupid.

Dan McCoy

[19:48] It was the best part of the movie, but it made no...

[19:51] It didn't tie into the rest of the film at all.

Elliott Kalan

[19:52] I'd say the best part of the movie is the only scary part, when she's stuck in...

[19:58] Shannon Simasaman is stuck in, like, it goes to journey to the old abandoned hospital.

Stuart Wellington

[20:04] Yeah, the old burned out, like, asylum or something.

Elliott Kalan

[20:06] Yes, which...

[20:07] I bet the town has seen hard times.

[20:09] It has not rebuilt or even put up, like, that good offense around it.

Stuart Wellington

[20:13] Yeah, so the ghosts can get in the man.

Elliott Kalan

[20:16] I guess the ghost petitioned City Hall to leave it as it was.

Stuart Wellington

[20:20] I'm surprised there weren't more teenagers there.

[20:22] Like, I mean, if I was a teenager...

[20:23] Just smoking pot and shooting the windows out.

[20:24] Or, like, daring somebody to go, like, go in there and then that person gets killed

[20:28] by a real monster or something.

[20:30] And then the movie begins.

[20:31] Or, like, a local fraternity sends somebody there on a hazing and it all goes horribly wrong.

Elliott Kalan

[20:36] You can either do 50 push-ups in your own vomit or bring us back a ghost and then...

Stuart Wellington

[20:42] Yep, bring us back a mustache from one of the dead skeletons.

[20:46] Not one of the live skeletons from the old burned out asylum.

Elliott Kalan

[20:50] Oh, but anyway, she's wandering through and there's a bunch of non-creepy things that happen,

[20:54] like a zombie baby holding a phone in its hand and millipedes.

Stuart Wellington

[20:57] That zombie baby was very similar to the zombie baby in the Dawn of the Dead remake

[21:02] in that it was 100% CGI, which, as we all know, is really scary.

[21:07] I just think all zombie babies look like Winston Churchill.

[21:11] Nice.

[21:12] Nice.

Dan McCoy

[21:12] Look like zombie Winston Churchill.

[21:13] Yeah.

[21:14] I think they all look...

[21:14] Zombie Winston Churchill.

[21:16] He did a lot of bad things, but he won the war, so...

Stuart Wellington

[21:19] They all look slightly less real than the baby from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Elliott Kalan

[21:26] When the baby from the dream in Trainspotting is more realistic than the baby in your movie,

[21:32] then you have a problem.

[21:33] But anyway, so she goes in and she finds the corpse of, it turns out, the girl's mother

[21:38] who died in the fire and...

[21:40] Yeah, she's all kinds of fucked up, right?

[21:41] And she's all burned and her teeth are coming straight through her skin and everything.

Stuart Wellington

[21:45] Her face all mixed around like the monster from one of those Resident Evil movies.

Elliott Kalan

[21:49] Mm-hmm.

[21:50] And it's true.

[21:52] I didn't know that.

[21:52] Yeah, I was just...

[21:53] But she...

[21:53] She's descriptive.

[21:55] But she...

[21:55] It's not a joke.

Stuart Wellington

[21:56] It's just painting a picture with your words.

Elliott Kalan

[21:57] No, because those movies are pretty good, right?

[22:01] Yeah, I feel like Mila Jovovich.

[22:04] But I'm just adding extra syllables to everybody's names.

[22:07] Yeah, no, it's funny.

Dan McCoy

[22:08] On the subject of Mila, there was that commercial...

Elliott Kalan

[22:10] Oh, you're on a first-name basis with her.

[22:13] Mila.

Dan McCoy

[22:13] Well, I thought I was saying that for a particular reason, and that's because...

[22:16] Because she's European.

[22:17] I thought it was Mamma Mia.

[22:18] There was a commercial recently...

[22:20] I didn't do that well in the theaters.

[22:21] Where...

[22:22] Yeah, well, it opened against Dark Knight.

[22:24] She was promoting some sort of cosmetics.

[22:27] And I just...

[22:28] I was really happy that in this commercial, she identified herself by name.

[22:32] Because, you know, finally, I know what to think in my brain when I read that.

[22:38] And it's Mia Jovovich.

Elliott Kalan

[22:41] Oh, yeah, because it's Eastern European.

[22:42] So everyone...

Dan McCoy

[22:43] Yeah, that makes more sense.

[22:44] All Flophouse listeners, when you're talking about Resident Evil...

[22:48] Or The Fifth Element.

[22:49] You can talk about Jovovich.

[22:50] Definitely The Fifth Element.

Elliott Kalan

[22:51] Or...

[22:52] What's his name?

Dan McCoy

[22:53] Or Dummy Starring Adrian Brody.

[22:55] Or...

[22:55] Dummy Starring Adrian Brody.

Elliott Kalan

[22:57] Or Cuffs Starring Christian Slater.

[22:59] Or just past loves of Luc Besson.

[23:02] If you're writing that Luc Besson quickie overnight autobiography...

[23:06] With a photo insert section.

Stuart Wellington

[23:08] I like how it could be an autobiography.

[23:11] Like, we could be talking to Luc Besson right now, and he's like, you know what?

[23:14] I've been thinking about doing that.

Elliott Kalan

[23:15] You know what?

[23:15] I gotta strike while the iron's hot.

[23:16] Let's put out this quickie autobiography.

[23:18] Just put some photos in there.

[23:20] Fill it with heartthrob stuff.

Dan McCoy

[23:21] All I've been doing for the past ten years is producing movies.

[23:25] So...

Stuart Wellington

[23:25] Well, he's saving up a big nest egg so he can make Fifth Element 2.

[23:29] Sixth Element.

Dan McCoy

[23:30] Oh, that'd make more sense.

Elliott Kalan

[23:31] So the Fifth Element was love, so I guess the Sixth Element would be like dreams.

[23:35] Chocolate.

[23:36] Yep.

[23:37] It was so easy.

[23:38] Outer space.

[23:41] The Sixth Element is movies.

Dan McCoy

[23:44] Movies like the Fifth Element.

Elliott Kalan

[23:46] They discover a copy of the Fifth Element, and that saves the world.

[23:49] That's like the scene in Beastmaster 2, when he walks by the movie theater and Beastmaster

[23:53] is playing.

[23:54] I love that joke.

[23:55] When Leonard Maltin reviews Gremlins in Gremlins 2.

[23:57] Yeah.

[23:57] I loved that when I was a kid.

[23:59] Anyway, so this scene...

[23:59] I loved that when I was a man.

[24:02] Which was years ago.

Dan McCoy

[24:04] Well, now that he's wearing those shorts, I love when I was a man.

Elliott Kalan

[24:07] So she goes to the burned out hospital, and the mother's there, and she's all creepy

[24:11] and burned up, and the corpse comes to life, and is just crawling over her, and puts its

[24:16] face really close to hers, and it's this genuinely creepy, scary moment.

Dan McCoy

[24:20] You think you're going to get some hot zombie on girl acting?

[24:23] Oh, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[24:23] Because I love to see a lesbian scene where one of the people involved doesn't have lips.

[24:28] Or pupils.

Dan McCoy

[24:29] Like, Ellie, I'll take what I can get.

[24:31] That's all I'm saying.

Elliott Kalan

[24:32] I imagine now, when your wife isn't around, you're going to a website that's called

[24:37] girlonzombie.com.

Stuart Wellington

[24:40] Wait a minute.

[24:40] Are we inadvertently giving some help to girlonzombie.com?

Elliott Kalan

[24:45] I hope not.

[24:45] The way we did with Aquafan or whatever it was?

[24:48] Aquafan, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[24:49] Which was the lamest site in the world.

Elliott Kalan

[24:51] That was the weirdest site.

[24:52] It just said sex underwater.

Stuart Wellington

[24:54] Anybody tried it?

[24:55] Yeah.

[24:56] It's like, this is the official website of people who love having sex underwater.

[25:00] Here's post number one.

[25:01] Hey, has anyone tried this shit?

[25:03] Let me know.

Elliott Kalan

[25:04] Post number two.

[25:05] Non-existent.

Dan McCoy

[25:06] In theory, I'm into that.

Elliott Kalan

[25:10] Anywho.

[25:11] So the movie did have at least one genuinely scary moment.

Dan McCoy

[25:16] Right, right.

[25:16] Or at least creepy.

[25:17] I wouldn't necessarily say scary.

[25:18] Yeah, well, not scary.

[25:19] The first part was Ray Wise.

[25:20] Yes.

[25:21] Who breezed into the film, promised to do an exorcism of the phone, and then completely failed in saving the girl.

[25:29] He basically shot her being dead for his unsolved freeze.

[25:33] For his miracles show.

Elliott Kalan

[25:34] His miracles show.

[25:36] Which I assume runs on lifetime after America's psychic challenge, and before kid psychics.

Dan McCoy

[25:40] And then he left again.

[25:41] And I don't know what the point of his appearance was, other than so that I personally would enjoy it.

[25:48] To give it a shot in the arm.

[25:50] The point of his appearance was, we can get Ray Wise for two days.

Elliott Kalan

[25:53] What do we got?

[25:54] This is Ray Wise?

[25:55] Oh, I was thinking of Ray Parks.

[25:57] Well, we'll make use of him somehow.

[25:59] I guess we can't have him kickbox the ghost.

[26:02] Nice.

Stuart Wellington

[26:03] Or be the character Toad from...

[26:06] From X-Men.

[26:07] Yeah, from the Uncanny X-Men.

[26:09] But you were going to say, from the Uncanny X-Men.

[26:11] Not the title at all.

Dan McCoy

[26:13] Shannon Sossman was completely dubious.

Elliott Kalan

[26:15] I love that Amazing Spider-Man 2 movie.

[26:18] It was great.

Dan McCoy

[26:19] Shannon Sossman was totally dubious about the idea of an exorcism, but she was immediately accepting of the idea of kill herself.

Elliott Kalan

[26:25] You had a major problem with the fact that she never really doubted the idea that phones were killing people.

Dan McCoy

[26:30] No, she jumped directly to, like, okay, I guess this is it.

[26:33] But then as soon as a professional...

[26:33] You know, it's like she was the screenwriter.

Elliott Kalan

[26:35] Like, this is the thing?

[26:35] I'm going with it.

[26:36] The movie's only 80-something minutes long.

[26:38] You know, they ain't waste time with that.

Stuart Wellington

[26:40] Yeah, she's like, hey, we're running out of time here, guys.

[26:41] I gotta agree with it.

[26:42] Tick-tock.

[26:43] I gotta be on the set of Rules of Attraction 2.

Elliott Kalan

[26:46] Her character was like, I don't know.

[26:48] And the director was going, come on, hurry it up.

[26:50] Hurry it up.

[26:52] We don't have a lot of time in this movie.

[26:54] Yeah, this film was completely improvised.

[26:56] That's what explains the right wise's appearance.

[26:59] Because they happened to find him.

[27:01] He was actually waiting to go to someone else's house for a party.

[27:04] And they found him outside and just brought him into the scene.

[27:06] Good movie maker.

[27:07] I will say, this movie hit me where I live.

[27:09] Because for the past two weeks, I've been getting calls from an 888 number every morning around the same time.

[27:16] And I never pick it up because I don't know the number.

[27:18] And I think it's the blood bank trying to shame me into giving them more of my precious fluid.

Dan McCoy

[27:22] Maybe it's a collection agency or something.

Elliott Kalan

[27:24] And they never leave a message.

[27:25] And then today, finally, for the first time, I get a message, this is Ryan from Time Warner.

[27:31] I've called you before about the free HDTV for three months offer that we've been running since you bought an HDTV recently.

[27:39] But now it's too late.

[27:40] Give me a call back before we run out of time.

[27:43] And it was like, this is the message you've been calling every day at the same time for two weeks and not leaving a message for.

[27:48] Like, this is the call that I've been dreading.

[27:50] It's a ghost.

Stuart Wellington

[27:50] It's a ghost trying to trick you, Elliot.

[27:52] It was...

[27:52] Yeah, I mean, he's trying to build up suspense.

Elliott Kalan

[27:55] If I had answered the phone and the message would have been like of me going, I don't know what to do!

Stuart Wellington

[28:01] I don't...

[28:01] Ah!

[28:03] Oh my god, what are you doing with that change?

Elliott Kalan

[28:05] That would have been...

[28:07] That would have been...

[28:07] What is a train running me over?

[28:09] I would be...

[28:09] A train is running me over right now!

[28:12] Ah!

[28:13] Ah!

[28:14] Ah!

[28:15] Ah!

[28:15] I could kill each individual wheel!

[28:17] Hold on, I'm getting another call!

[28:20] Okay, I'm back!

[28:20] Ah!

[28:21] Ah!

[28:22] Ah!

[28:23] But like, that would have been more fitting to me than just this guy saying, I've called you before about this.

[28:29] Like, yeah, leave me a message, dumbass.

[28:31] Come on.

[28:32] I'm not a mind reader.

[28:33] But I almost wish it had been something spooky like that to make it worthwhile pressing ignore on my phone.

Stuart Wellington

[28:38] Add some spice to your otherwise relatively boring day.

Elliott Kalan

[28:41] To my otherwise boring day of producing television shows.

Stuart Wellington

[28:44] Whoa, whoa.

[28:45] Boring over the rest of us.

[28:47] I'm not learning.

Elliott Kalan

[28:48] I'm just saying my life has a certain amount of glamour that doesn't need ghosts in it.

[28:53] But I was still on it.

Dan McCoy

[28:54] Elliot was late to the record because they had Brian Williams on the show tonight.

Elliott Kalan

[28:58] And we can't tape the show until late when Brian Williams is on because he has to do the nightly news first.

Dan McCoy

[29:01] By the way, this is the second time this has happened, which makes me think that Brian Williams is the Flophouse's nemesis.

[29:08] We can make it that way.

[29:09] I like to think that Brian Williams is doing this deliberately because he knows that network television is on the way out.

[29:16] And podcasts.

[29:17] He feels really threatened by this.

[29:19] The way of the future.

Elliott Kalan

[29:19] You know, 50% of people get their news from movie podcasts.

[29:23] Brian Williams is feeling that bite.

Stuart Wellington

[29:25] So I found out about Keith Ledger dying.

Elliott Kalan

[29:28] Really?

[29:29] Keith Ledger passed away too?

[29:30] Oh, that's horrible because their family just lost Heath and now Keith is dead also.

[29:35] Yeah, it was the Olsen twins.

[29:36] It was the Olsen twins.

[29:37] They hate other twins.

[29:38] Yeah, they did magic.

[29:40] Is that a prestige thing?

[29:42] No, they just use magic.

Dan McCoy

[29:43] It's cool.

[29:44] They're twins.

[29:45] This is getting really conceptual, so I'm going to take it back to the film.

Stuart Wellington

[29:48] So, yeah.

[29:49] No, my favorite bit in the whole movie was when they go to visit with this really creepy little girl who won't say anything.

Dan McCoy

[29:57] To set it up, we think that the girl has been abused by her mom because of Munchausen by proxy,

[30:05] a disease that happens 10,000 times more often in the movies and TV than it doesn't realize.

Elliott Kalan

[30:09] This is another thing taken from another horror movie because it's in the sixth sense when there's a tangentially related plot about Munchausen by proxy syndrome.

Stuart Wellington

[30:18] But anyway, they go to see the girls.

[30:19] Yeah, so they go to see this little girl and she's got a teddy bear.

Elliott Kalan

[30:23] I just wish the sixth sense had followed up and done sequels about him and his ghost buddies solving crimes after the fact.

[30:31] I totally agree.

[30:32] That would have been great.

[30:34] He's like Dead Man kind of.

[30:35] The ghost of the victim told me where to find the murder weapon for UC officer.

[30:42] It was the mother who was the killer.

Dan McCoy

[30:43] Well, I don't know how you do it, kid, but you solved another unsolved mystery.

Elliott Kalan

[30:47] Let's close the case on this one, boys.

[30:50] Well, let's just say I had a little help from my friends.

[30:53] Then he winks at a ghost who fades away.

Stuart Wellington

[30:56] What a great show.

[30:57] The ghost of a cowboy.

Elliott Kalan

[30:59] You gotta help me find me gold, Haley.

[31:03] It was buried out here and stolen from me by some varmints.

[31:06] He just travels the country solving crimes.

[31:09] And what's great is it's the seventh sense, eighth sense, ninth sense.

[31:12] You just keep increasing the numbers.

Stuart Wellington

[31:14] It works.

[31:15] That's the thing.

[31:16] Sure.

Elliott Kalan

[31:16] Anyway, but you were saying.

[31:17] So teddy bear.

Stuart Wellington

[31:18] Oh, yeah.

[31:18] There's a teddy bear that's a bandit, I guess, because he's got a little bandana around his neck.

[31:22] He robs banks in his...

[31:24] It's a western bear.

[31:25] It's a cowboy bear.

[31:26] And they're staring at her while she sits in a chair by herself, staring at the wall.

[31:32] And then all of a sudden...

[31:33] All of a sudden?

[31:35] All of a sudden.

Elliott Kalan

[31:37] All of a sudden pops in.

[31:38] Hello, everybody.

[31:39] It's me.

[31:40] All of a sudden.

[31:42] Trouble with ghosts, eh?

[31:44] Tip, tip.

[31:44] Gotta go.

[31:46] Bob's your uncle, mate.

Dan McCoy

[31:48] So, yeah.

[31:48] Ghosts are real jacks.

[31:50] All right, all right, all right.

Elliott Kalan

[31:52] Just go down the apple and pez.

Stuart Wellington

[31:54] So all of a sudden shows up.

[31:56] And she...

[31:58] All of a sudden, her teddy bear starts making the same noise as the magic ghost ringtone.

[32:06] Oh, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[32:06] The missed call is always a specific ringtone.

Stuart Wellington

[32:09] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[32:10] And you probably saw it in the trailer.

[32:12] If not, watch the trailer and you'll know what it is.

Elliott Kalan

[32:14] It's not that frog song from England.

Stuart Wellington

[32:16] Yeah.

[32:17] And so Shannon Sasserman is, like, flips out.

[32:20] She's like, oh, my God.

[32:21] What's happening?

[32:22] And the nurse, like, touches her and she's like, oh, no, that's just the song.

[32:27] That's the song the bear makes.

[32:30] And you're like, oh!

Dan McCoy

[32:31] That's just the song.

[32:31] Wait a minute.

[32:32] The song the bear plays.

Elliott Kalan

[32:33] That's the best.

[32:34] It's the best line in the movie and the best performance of a line in the movie.

[32:39] Yeah, her reading.

[32:39] A zero out of zero.

[32:41] Her son deadpan.

[32:41] A deadpan reading of a shitty, unrealistic line that no person would ever say that's just

[32:47] there to connect the dots for the three people in the audience who are too stupid to recognize

[32:52] that that was the same song the phones were playing.

Stuart Wellington

[32:54] Do you think one of those people was, like, one of the executives who was watching a rough

[32:58] cut of the movie?

[32:58] I have to assume.

Elliott Kalan

[33:00] What the fuck are they flipping out for?

[33:02] I don't understand.

[33:03] Why is she so scared about the bear?

[33:04] That's just the song the bear plays.

[33:06] Let's put in a line of dialogue just making sure everybody knows that's just the song the

[33:10] bear plays.

Dan McCoy

[33:11] Because if we make sure...

[33:12] On the piano.

[33:14] On the piano.

[33:15] When the bear was alive.

[33:17] It really...

[33:18] That was the one song the bear knew how to play.

[33:21] It was like his heart and soul.

[33:22] That was his party trick.

[33:23] I can pick this out.

[33:24] All right.

[33:24] Hold on.

[33:25] To-do-do.

Elliott Kalan

[33:27] To-do.

[33:27] There's also one scene where the girl is lying asleep with the bear in her hands.

[33:31] And you see the bear suddenly start moving towards the camera.

[33:35] And it turns out it's Ed Burns.

[33:37] In a reverse shot, we see it's Ed Burns picking up the bear.

[33:39] But the movie is trying to fake you out for a minute.

[33:41] Into believing it that this is a film about an evil bear.

[33:43] That comes to life and kills people.

[33:46] Which would have been great.

Dan McCoy

[33:47] Yeah.

[33:47] That would be definitely preferable to the ultimate solution.

Elliott Kalan

[33:50] It would be like the video box of Silent Night, Deadly Night 2.

Dan McCoy

[33:53] And the solution is a solution that anyone who has seen a Japanese horror film could have

[33:58] come up with.

Elliott Kalan

[33:59] Little girl who was wronged.

[34:01] Or no, she's evil I guess.

[34:02] Little girl who's killed and attacks people through technology.

Stuart Wellington

[34:06] Yeah.

[34:07] Yeah.

[34:07] But she never like makes a cat noise.

[34:08] It is literally like.

[34:09] It is pretty much just the ring.

[34:11] Yeah.

[34:12] It's not good.

Dan McCoy

[34:12] Well, we like the film have already laid in all the clues you need to put this together.

[34:20] Do you know who committed the crimes?

[34:22] Perhaps you should stop the podcast now.

[34:25] Write up what you think happened.

Elliott Kalan

[34:27] Put it in an envelope and see who was closest.

[34:30] Are you done?

[34:32] That's good for a laugh.

[34:33] Let's continue.

Dan McCoy

[34:34] Yeah.

[34:35] What happens is it has this.

[34:36] It was a little girl, right?

[34:37] It has this weird like.

[34:38] Yeah.

[34:39] It was a little girl.

[34:40] Usual suspects ending where literally like everything that this girl sees while she's

[34:46] dying then becomes part of the tapestry of the film.

[34:49] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[34:49] So it's like, oh, they've got a creepy statue of a woman pushing a stroller.

[34:52] So that's why there's a crazy ghost woman with a stroller.

Dan McCoy

[34:55] And by the way, in the nursery of this child, they have the creepiest statue of a woman pushing

[34:59] the stroller.

[34:59] It's so incredibly scary.

[35:00] It's a statue that only makes sense in the context of a horror movie.

[35:03] You would never give this to a child.

Elliott Kalan

[35:04] Oh, and also, and the girl, oh, she died of an asthma attack because her inhaler ran out

[35:08] of stuff.

[35:09] So that's why you hear a like noise like an inhaler every time someone's about to die.

[35:14] And this, she saw the bear right before she died and she knocked it over and it started

[35:18] playing.

[35:19] And that's why she, you know, that's the song that plays.

[35:22] Like, sure.

[35:22] I think she's just angry that she has to basically, she can never escape the way she

[35:26] died.

[35:27] Right.

[35:27] She's getting older.

[35:28] She doesn't want to be associated with it anymore.

Dan McCoy

[35:29] Ed Burns is looking at the nanny cam footage through this bear.

[35:33] Also, there's, he says, it's a nanny cam.

Elliott Kalan

[35:35] People use it so they can watch their kids.

[35:37] No, a nanny cam is so you can watch your nanny to make sure she's not abusing your kids.

[35:41] That's, they would call it a kid cam if it was for watching your kids.

[35:44] It's not a nanny cam.

[35:45] So wait, the camera's not supposed to be the nanny, right?

[35:48] No, the camera's not the nanny.

[35:49] It's not like, uh, nanny the, the, uh, X-Men.

Dan McCoy

[35:52] You know, the, the evil kid has been torturing the good kid and the evil kid.

[35:58] As evil kids do.

[35:59] Yeah.

[35:59] And the evil kid dies, uh, after being locked into, in her room.

[36:04] And there's a problem because she doesn't have enough of her inhaler.

[36:08] And she's trying to call someone for help on her cell phone, which is why the cell phone is tied in.

[36:13] But the most hilarious thing about the idea of everything that she sees as she's dying being tied into her whole mythology is that she looks up at a jar full of centipedes.

[36:23] And that's why there's centipedes involved.

[36:25] Why?

[36:25] There's a jar full of live centipedes in this nursery.

Elliott Kalan

[36:29] And like, huge, like, these are the kinds of centipedes you find in the rainforest.

[36:32] Like, they're enormous.

Dan McCoy

[36:33] They're like, like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom centipedes.

Elliott Kalan

[36:35] Yeah, they're like porn star penis sized centipedes.

[36:38] Like, that kind of girth.

[36:39] Yeah.

[36:40] I don't know, I didn't mean to quiet the room.

[36:42] You gotta say girth, huh?

[36:42] Yeah.

[36:43] Listen.

[36:43] I thought it was gonna be me tonight.

[36:44] If you're wearing shorts like that, one of us is gonna say the word girth.

[36:47] Nice.

[36:47] But, uh, and also, by the end.

[36:49] Oh, and everyone who dies, a piece of candy falls out of their mouth when they die.

[36:53] I thought that was a grape.

[36:54] It looks like a grape, but it's a piece of candy.

[36:56] It looks like a marble.

[36:57] It looks like a marble, a grape, a bauble.

[36:59] Maybe a frozen grape.

[37:01] A tiny thing of amber.

[37:03] But, uh, but that's so, I don't remember if she sees candy, or like maybe she's just

[37:07] got enough life to put candy in her mouth.

Stuart Wellington

[37:08] No, it's because, uh, it's because every time the one little girl, like, hurt her sister

[37:12] with a knife or some shit.

[37:12] Oh, she'd give her candy.

[37:13] She gave her candy, right?

[37:15] Yeah, to shut her up.

Elliott Kalan

[37:17] Said, said with the anger of someone who had to shut up a little kid at some point.

Dan McCoy

[37:21] It's blood candy.

[37:23] That is.

Elliott Kalan

[37:23] Like Leonardo DiCaprio's movie about how they make candy.

Dan McCoy

[37:28] Where Leonardo DiCaprio plays an Afrikaner in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

Elliott Kalan

[37:33] Gotta boycott M&M Mars.

[37:35] They're involved in the blood candy trade.

Dan McCoy

[37:36] So many Oopalopas died.

Elliott Kalan

[37:40] Oh, I want to see that parody trailer so badly now for Blood Candy, where he investigates the

[37:46] deaths of innocents in Oopalopas.

Dan McCoy

[37:46] Listeners, why don't you make a mashup and put it on YouTube?

Elliott Kalan

[37:49] Hello, Flophouse Contest.

[37:51] Try that as your entry.

Stuart Wellington

[37:52] That's 100,000 hits right there.

[37:55] Yep, I like getting lots of hits.

Elliott Kalan

[37:57] Listen, I'll give the Flophouse audience all the Ziggy pitches it wants if they will just

[38:01] make that trailer for us.

Dan McCoy

[38:02] All right, so we have gone a really long time.

[38:05] Let's just skip to our judgments on this film.

[38:08] Elliot, what do you think?

Elliott Kalan

[38:09] I thought, actually, it was a bad movie, but we did have fun watching it.

[38:12] It was short.

[38:13] It moved really fast.

[38:15] It's stupid.

[38:15] But the stupidness you could make fun of, and it wasn't like 10,000 BC where it was

[38:19] boringly stupid.

[38:20] So I give it a bad, but okay to watch.

[38:24] Stuart, what do you think?

Stuart Wellington

[38:25] Yeah, I'll probably go with Elliot on this one.

[38:27] I mean, I'm not going to say that it was really that great, but I think maybe I've just been

[38:32] really biased because the past couple ones we've watched have been total shit.

Elliott Kalan

[38:36] If we had watched this after the Bratz movie, I probably would have given a much worse

[38:39] review.

Stuart Wellington

[38:39] Yeah, exactly.

[38:40] But right now I'm feeling charitable.

Elliott Kalan

[38:41] Yeah.

[38:42] It's like when I watched, if I saw There Will Be Blood, I watched it right after I watched

[38:47] Cries and Whispers, so I was disappointed.

[38:48] But if I had watched it right after I watched Fletch, I probably would have thought it was

[38:52] a much better movie.

[38:53] Yeah.

[38:54] So that's the way it is with this one.

Dan McCoy

[38:55] Come on, Fletch lives.

[38:56] Let's give credit to Fletch.

[38:57] In all of our hearts.

Elliott Kalan

[38:59] I wish Fletch had died in that movie and then it ended with someone pointing at another person's

[39:03] heart and goes, Fletch will always live on in here.

[39:07] And then they look up to the sky and Chevy Chase's face appears, a single tear rolling down

[39:12] and see.

Stuart Wellington

[39:13] Hey, I like that movie.

[39:16] Oh, man.

[39:16] And then he bursts out of his tomb at the end.

[39:20] Just his hand.

[39:21] Bow.

[39:21] Yeah.

[39:22] And then he punches through the wall of the mazelian.

Elliott Kalan

[39:24] And then he pushes his face up and goes, I'm back.

[39:27] And then the credit, cut to black.

[39:28] Credits roll to the Fletch rap.

Dan McCoy

[39:31] And then there's a third Fletch movie where Fletch goes back as a zombie to the newsroom

[39:35] and eats Gina Davis.

[39:37] Weekend at Fletch's.

Elliott Kalan

[39:38] Yeah.

[39:38] They've got to pretend he's still alive.

Dan McCoy

[39:39] Horrifying.

[39:40] Horrifying.

Elliott Kalan

[39:40] Anyway, Fletch becomes her.

[39:42] And Dan, what did you think about the movie?

Dan McCoy

[39:44] No, I'm in total agreement with both of you.

[39:46] I give this a marginal fun bad movie recommendation.

Elliott Kalan

[39:51] Yeah, marginal is a good way to put it.

Dan McCoy

[39:54] Again, if we hadn't had such a bad run of films, maybe I would rank it lower.

Elliott Kalan

[40:00] Yeah, well, if Wishes Were Fishes, every day would be Friday.

Stuart Wellington

[40:04] Yeah, you know, it's one of those things where it's like, look, if you're not doing anything

[40:08] and you want to watch a kind of stupid movie where people get killed by a cell phone, this

[40:13] is probably one of your only options.

Dan McCoy

[40:14] It's one of the top ten movies in which someone gets killed by a cell phone.

[40:18] Yeah, I'd say that.

[40:18] I think that's fair.

[40:19] Top ten.

Elliott Kalan

[40:19] I'm not going to say top five.

[40:21] Yeah, I'm not going to say in the first half of the top ten.

[40:23] And Ray Wise is in it.

[40:24] Yeah.

[40:25] They could have easily cast that part with a nobody, but they cast it with a guy who

[40:28] should have done the job.

[40:29] Maybe Lance Henriksen could have done it too.

[40:31] Yeah.

[40:32] But Ray Wise, well, he's not as fun as Ray Wise.

Stuart Wellington

[40:35] No.

[40:35] He'd be more like, you know, terrifying.

Elliott Kalan

[40:38] Yeah.

[40:38] I get the feeling that when Lance Henriksen coughs, sawdust comes out.

[40:42] Yep.

[40:42] There's some kind of dry about him.

Stuart Wellington

[40:44] I, for a while, thought that those lines on his face were tribal scars.

Elliott Kalan

[40:50] I really want to see something where he and Peter Weller play brothers.

[40:53] That'd be awesome.

[40:54] But it's like a comedy.

[40:55] Like, they got to get their grandma's ashes cross country, but they never got along when

[40:59] they were kids.

[41:00] Nice.

Stuart Wellington

[41:00] I was expecting it to be more like their brothers who are police officers in different

[41:04] countries, and they have to come together to solve a crime.

[41:07] That's pretty good.

[41:08] With aliens.

[41:09] What do we do next?

Dan McCoy

[41:11] Well, next, Stuart, traditionally, we talk about movies that we would recommend.

[41:16] Oh, right.

[41:17] Of course.

[41:18] Unlike the film that we watched tonight.

Stuart Wellington

[41:20] Hey, Elliot looks like he's got something on the TV.

[41:22] Oh, wait.

[41:22] I'm not here.

[41:23] Oh, okay.

[41:23] I'm not here.

[41:24] I have to think about what I'm going to recommend.

[41:26] I've watched a bunch of movies.

[41:27] I'm trying to remember one that I'd recommend.

[41:29] I've watched a number that have been good, but they've already got a fair amount of press.

[41:33] So I saw Funny Games recently.

[41:35] That was great.

[41:36] The American version, or English-speaking version.

[41:39] Dark Knight was great.

[41:40] Let's see.

[41:41] I'm actually going to recommend something qualified.

[41:44] Qualified recommendation.

[41:45] Partly because I was really disappointed in it.

[41:47] I watched...

[41:48] That's a good reason to give a qualified recommendation.

[41:50] Yeah, absolutely.

Elliott Kalan

[41:51] I want to give a qualified recommendation because the movie was sucky.

Stuart Wellington

[41:54] Mainly because I hated it.

[41:56] I watched the movie Doomsday.

[41:58] Oh, you were excited about Doomsday.

[42:01] I was.

[42:02] And I still kind of am.

[42:05] It's the third Neil Marshall movie.

[42:08] He made Dog Soldiers, the movie about dudes fighting werewolves, which is pretty good.

[42:13] And then The Descent, which is great.

[42:15] And Pretty Woman, right?

[42:17] No, different...

[42:18] Wait.

Elliott Kalan

[42:20] And the other sister?

[42:21] Oh, that's Gary Marshall.

Stuart Wellington

[42:22] Yeah, that's Gary Marshall.

Elliott Kalan

[42:22] Princess Diaries?

[42:23] Did Neil Marshall make that?

Stuart Wellington

[42:24] I don't think so.

[42:25] Were there werewolves in that?

[42:27] I think so.

[42:27] Okay, then you probably made it.

[42:28] I didn't see it.

[42:29] Well, Doomsday is about a bunch of bullshit, post-apocalyptic shit in Scotland.

[42:34] It was basically boring.

[42:36] And it basically kind of felt like the guy was given a lot of money and he's like, hey,

[42:41] I like all these other movies.

[42:43] I'm going to make the craziest movie I can with all this budget.

[42:46] It doesn't really work that well as a movie, but it's really gory.

[42:50] So that was cool.

[42:52] It was nice to see a movie that has a big budget and is also really gory.

[42:55] And Malcolm McDowell's in it.

[42:57] So instant quality.

[42:58] Yeah, obviously.

[42:59] He's a great actor.

Elliott Kalan

[43:01] I'll never forget taping a Shannon Worry movie off of HBO Late at Night when I was a teenager

[43:07] and being really surprised to find Malcolm McDowell in it.

[43:11] Right after a scene where a woman tried on lingerie, topless.

[43:15] And then suddenly Malcolm McDowell was talking to the main characters.

[43:18] And I was like, what?

[43:19] I had to, wait a minute.

[43:21] Hold on a second.

[43:22] From Clockwork Orange?

[43:23] Hold on.

[43:24] What are you doing?

[43:24] But didn't he also star in Caligula?

Dan McCoy

[43:26] Oh, yeah.

[43:27] He's made all sorts of crazy stuff.

[43:29] Yeah.

[43:29] And he was in Tank Girl.

[43:31] Yeah.

[43:31] Well, he'll make it pretty much anything.

[43:32] Was he the bad guy in Milk Money?

[43:34] The film in which a kid gets a prostitute for a day.

[43:38] I didn't know there was a bad guy in that movie.

Stuart Wellington

[43:41] There was a bad guy in that movie?

[43:42] I think.

[43:44] Well, no.

[43:44] I recall Milk Money.

Elliott Kalan

[43:45] That's like saying there's a bad guy in The Sandlot.

[43:48] Like there's an evil dog.

[43:49] No, no.

Dan McCoy

[43:50] There's no villain.

[43:51] Milk Money, aside from being a movie.

Elliott Kalan

[43:53] I remember that kid's dad was the villain.

[43:54] About.

[43:55] But like there's a.

[43:56] Oh, that's Dennis Leary.

[43:58] But like there's a villain in Rookie of the Year.

[44:00] You know?

[44:01] Aside from being.

Stuart Wellington

[44:02] No, that's Angels in the Outfield.

Elliott Kalan

[44:03] Rookie of the Year is the one where the kid breaks his arm and suddenly can throw major

[44:06] fastballs.

Stuart Wellington

[44:08] All those kids breaking their arms.

Dan McCoy

[44:10] Aside from being a movie about a guy who finds love with a prostitute his son provided for

[44:16] him.

[44:17] It's also a environmental.

[44:20] Environmental movie.

[44:21] Like Ed Harris is all about saving the wetlands.

[44:24] And Malcolm McDowell is some sort of anti wetland guy.

[44:27] If I recall the movie.

[44:28] He's an anti swamp lobbyist.

[44:31] He just doesn't like him.

[44:33] He likes his land to be dry.

[44:34] So as just to summarize.

[44:36] Drylands.

Stuart Wellington

[44:36] If you want to watch a movie that will ultimately disappoint you but will have a couple moments

[44:40] of like, wow, that was really gross.

[44:42] You can watch Doomsday.

Dan McCoy

[44:44] Well, the movie that I think I'll recommend is I just watched The Getaway.

[44:48] Not the Alec Baldwin, Kim Basinger version.

[44:51] The Sam Peckinpah version?

[44:52] Sam Peckinpah, Steve McQueen, Alan McGraw.

[44:56] And, you know, it's just a really...

[44:58] I know that people who like Sam Peckinpah sort of like look at it as a minor film.

[45:05] But the thing is, it's just a solid thriller.

[45:07] Like it's a really stylishly made movie.

[45:10] And one thing I also found kind of interesting about it is a lot of it reminded me of No Country

[45:16] for Old Men.

[45:17] I mean, obviously the basic outline of there being this sort of bag that the characters

[45:22] have and they're trying to get with it safely to Mexico while, you know, people from different

[45:29] sides are trying to find them.

[45:32] You know, that's sort of like a standard, like a Southwest noir setup.

[45:38] However, a lot of the atmosphere of the film, like I really felt like the Coens maybe looked

[45:43] at that or maybe they looked at the original, the book, The Getaway.

[45:47] You know, it's just a really enjoyable thriller.

Elliott Kalan

[45:50] Not bad.

[45:51] The movie I saw most recently that I actually liked was a movie called Rembrandt starring

[45:57] Charles Loughton in the title role of Rembrandt Van Ryn.

[46:01] It's an Alex Gorda film from the 30s.

[46:03] But I figure it was their follow-up, I think, to The Private Life of Henry VIII.

[46:06] Like, we got to do another biopic about a guy from centuries ago.

[46:10] And it's pretty good.

Dan McCoy

[46:11] Are you sure you're not thinking of that movie Andre about the trained seal?

Elliott Kalan

[46:14] No, I don't.

[46:15] That's a different movie.

Dan McCoy

[46:16] Not Beethoven.

Elliott Kalan

[46:17] No, not Zeus and Roxanne either.

[46:19] This is about a human painter in the 17th century, I guess.

[46:23] But that was very good.

[46:25] But I think more along the lines for our listenership, if you can't find Rembrandt, because I don't

[46:28] know if it's available in any format anywhere.

[46:31] I taped it off Eternal Classic Movies.

[46:32] Is not too long, I guess a couple months ago, or I guess it was about four weeks ago, because

[46:37] it was during my last break.

[46:39] I re-watched Scanners, which I had not seen all the way through in a long time.

[46:43] And there's something about that movie.

[46:44] It's a really tight thriller for the most part, even if it doesn't always make sense.

[46:48] And the basic mechanics of being a scanner are kind of slapdash.

[46:53] But there's something so comfortingly 80s about it that I can't quite explain.

[46:58] But I think it might be because I was born in 1981, so I grew up as a kid in the 1980s.

[47:03] But when I see movies that were made in the 80s and really feel like they were made in

[47:06] the 80s, it's like, even though it's a movie about guys who make people's heads explode

[47:10] with their minds, there's something like, oh, this is a warm bath of a movie.

[47:16] Everybody's clothes are kind of 80s-ish.

[47:18] Their hair, you know, they all drive 80s cars and have 80s faces.

Dan McCoy

[47:22] Michael Ironside is really good in it.

[47:23] Michael Ironside is great in it.

[47:24] They're also all very Canadian.

[47:26] They're all Canadian.

Elliott Kalan

[47:27] And Canada is like an eternal 1980s.

[47:29] Like, Canada now is like the 1990s, but in the 1980s, it was like super 1980s.

[47:35] It had been the 1980s for a while there.

[47:37] And another Cronenberg movie, Videodrome, feels the same way.

[47:40] It's so 80s, everything about it, that it just feels like pulling a blanket around my shoulders.

[47:45] You know, it's very nice.

[47:46] So, Scanner.

[47:47] If you want to feel warm and fuzzy, Scanners.

[47:49] And also, a guy's eyes explode at the end.

Dan McCoy

[47:52] So, thank you, David Cronenberg, for all the warm feelings you brought to us.

Elliott Kalan

[47:55] I don't know if he's, like, I have the same affection for the movie War Games.

[47:59] Because everything about it is 1980s.

[48:01] Sure.

[48:02] Whereas something like, say...

[48:03] Are they remaking that?

[48:04] They are.

[48:04] Or they're making a sequel.

[48:05] That's true.

[48:06] I guess Joshua, the computer that takes up a room, is still...

[48:09] They would have, like, that thing would be the size of a jump drive now.

[48:12] But I guess...

[48:13] Yeah.

[48:13] Maybe it comes out of retirement, because this time it's personal.

[48:16] Or, I don't know.

[48:16] Yeah.

[48:17] Or maybe terrorists hack in.

[48:19] I don't remember.

[48:20] Dr. Falcon, you know, is probably passed on.

Stuart Wellington

[48:22] Maybe it turns into one of those Transformers that are so...

[48:25] Maybe...

Elliott Kalan

[48:25] Maybe they're so big with the kids now.

[48:27] I just hope Dabney Coleman is brought back for it.

Dan McCoy

[48:29] Yeah, that'd be awesome.

Elliott Kalan

[48:30] He hasn't done a lot of work lately.

Dan McCoy

[48:31] Star of a short time.

[48:34] Drexel's Class.

Elliott Kalan

[48:35] Mad Men of the People.

[48:36] Cloak and Dagger.

[48:37] Buffalo Bob or Buffalo Bill, whatever it's called.

[48:39] Cloak and Dagger.

Stuart Wellington

[48:40] Yeah.

[48:41] Not as good as I thought it was.

[48:42] No.

Elliott Kalan

[48:43] That's one that doesn't age well.

[48:44] No, it doesn't.

[48:45] But War Games...

[48:45] That's a 1980s movie.

[48:46] But War Games is great.

[48:47] War Games holds up.

[48:48] I think I've recommended it in the past.

[48:50] War Games is so fantastic, even though it's pretty silly.

[48:53] It's got Eddie Deason in it.

[48:55] And I remember watching as a kid, watching War Games, I mean, like, this is a great movie.

[49:00] And then they go to Professor Falcon's Island Retreat, and the next thing you see is a fucking

[49:04] Pteranodon flying around and being like, holy shit, this movie just got so much better.

[49:10] And there's the disappointment of it being a remote-controlled, like, gliding machine.

[49:13] But just the last thing I expected was my favorite thing in the world, a dinosaur, to appear in this movie.

[49:19] Oh, that makes me feel so good just thinking about that.

Dan McCoy

[49:22] Well, we should wrap it up soon, but I want to say, I mentioned a contest earlier.

[49:28] Contest of champions.

Elliott Kalan

[49:29] We have been very vague about this contest.

[49:32] Which is surprising.

[49:33] We put a lot of thought into this contest.

[49:35] It's not like we announced it out of nowhere with no forethought.

Stuart Wellington

[49:38] Yeah.

[49:39] It's not like I'm drunk when we do these.

Elliott Kalan

[49:42] It's not like you're drunk and wearing tiny shorts when we do these.

Stuart Wellington

[49:45] It's not like Stuart's drunk all the time.

[49:47] And the AC's off, so it's getting kind of sweaty.

[49:50] Yeah, it is.

[49:51] Sweaty.

[49:52] I wish I had my thighs completely exposed like you do.

[49:54] Just three men hanging out.

[49:55] No, you don't.

[49:56] Sweating.

[49:57] Makes the chair feel weird.

Dan McCoy

[49:59] One of them in really small swim trunks.

[50:01] Just being guys together.

[50:03] Yeah, just being dudes.

[50:05] So, wait, we were talking about our contest thing, right?

[50:08] The contest, yeah.

[50:08] Before I got really oddly dreamy.

[50:11] There's a contest on.

[50:13] If you want to enter it, send us an email with the subject heading Flophouse Contest to the Flophouse Podcast at gmail.com.

[50:21] And I realized that aside from not really setting rules, we didn't set an end date.

[50:29] So, I was going to say, get in your entries before August 20th.

[50:34] Wow.

[50:35] There's a lot of time left in this contest.

[50:37] Well, this is a...

[50:38] This is a...

[50:39] We only get together to do actual episodes.

[50:43] Yeah, once every two weeks.

[50:44] Once every two weeks.

[50:45] So, I'm going to give...

Stuart Wellington

[50:45] Wait, just to clarify, I'm not allowed to enter the contest, right?

[50:48] No.

[50:49] No.

Elliott Kalan

[50:49] Why would you want to win the prize of being...

[50:52] Of watching a movie with us?

[50:53] Employees in the Flophouse are not allowed.

[50:55] You already do that.

Stuart Wellington

[50:55] I'm allowed to keep watching movies with you guys.

[50:57] Yes.

[50:58] Okay, cool.

Dan McCoy

[51:00] In case Stuart's...

[51:01] What Stuart said didn't clue you in.

[51:03] The prize is to watch a movie with us.

[51:06] And it's fun.

[51:07] To have some snacks.

[51:08] To appear on the show.

[51:09] Travel costs are provided by you.

Elliott Kalan

[51:12] But snack costs are provided by us.

Stuart Wellington

[51:14] Yeah.

[51:14] I'll buy you...

[51:15] I'll buy beer.

Elliott Kalan

[51:16] And I'll get Popeyes if we're anywhere near Dan's apartment.

Stuart Wellington

[51:19] I don't think...

[51:19] I think we had to do it at my place.

Elliott Kalan

[51:21] Oh, yeah.

[51:21] We maybe can do it here.

[51:23] Ooh.

[51:24] Anyway.

[51:24] Well, but I would say, don't put this off to the last minute.

[51:27] Because we've had some strong entries already.

[51:29] We have had some strong entries.

[51:29] Some surprisingly strong entries.

Dan McCoy

[51:31] So, that's all I want to say about that.

[51:34] For the Flophouse, I'm Stuart Wellington.

Stuart Wellington

[51:37] For the Flophouse.

[51:40] I'm Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[51:42] I remain Elliot Kalin.

[51:44] Peace.

[51:49] Didn't Jonathan Lipnicki also do the movie where his friend was a vampire?

Stuart Wellington

[51:55] Yeah.

[51:55] The littlest vampire?

Elliott Kalan

[51:56] The littlest vampire?

[51:59] It should be like a 1978 Christmas special on ABC.

[52:04] The littlest vampire.

Stuart Wellington

[52:05] With like crummy stop motion animation or...

Elliott Kalan

[52:08] Yeah, Rankin-Bass style.

[52:10] That's pretty comfy.

[52:11] I'm very comfortable.

Dan McCoy

[52:13] I'd be more comfortable.

Elliott Kalan

[52:13] Yeah, I'll move the microphone.

[52:14] Hello.

[52:16] I'm talking now.

[52:17] In your tiny bathing suit.

[52:18] In my tiny bathing suit.

Stuart Wellington

[52:21] The littlest bathing suit.

Elliott Kalan

[52:24] Starring Stuart Wellington.

The Flop House: Episode #21 - One Missed Call

Transcript

In this episode

Description