The Flop House Movie Minute #19 - Oscar Bait

Dan McCoy

[0:00] And now, the Flophouse Movie Minute.

Elliott Kalan

[0:29] I mean, it started as a union-busting organization.

[0:32] Really?

[0:32] Pretty much, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[0:33] That was Elliot's dropping some history on you.

[0:36] There you go.

Stuart Wellington

[0:37] Let's get into the meat of this meat and potatoes.

[0:39] Well, here's the thing.

[0:41] The potatoes for later.

Dan McCoy

[0:42] We did a movie minute about our most overrated films of the year.

[0:47] Yeah, we totally did.

[0:48] What happened to that, Dan?

[0:50] It got eaten by my computer because basically what happened is

[0:53] it was an outtake from the Step Up 2, The Streets show.

[0:57] Okay.

[0:58] And because that show went over long.

[1:00] As hard as it is to believe, it did.

[1:02] It was split into two files.

[1:04] And for some reason, my computer couldn't handle that.

[1:07] Your computer wasn't ready for that jelly is what you're saying.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10] Yeah, exactly.

[1:11] It was just too bootylicious.

[1:13] However.

[1:14] It should have put a ring on it.

[1:15] Two different songs.

Dan McCoy

[1:17] Thank you for acknowledging current pop music.

[1:21] Oh, always, yeah.

[1:21] But, Stuart, your most overrated of the year was Benjamin Button.

[1:27] Yeah, absolutely.

[1:28] That movie sucks.

[1:29] Mine was Frost Nixon.

[1:31] Mine was Slumdog Billionaires.

[1:34] Yeah.

[1:34] And lo and behold, those three films were nominated for Best Picture.

[1:39] Oh, wow.

[1:39] Surprise, surprise.

[1:40] What do you fucking do?

[1:41] I kind of like Frost Nixon.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43] Let's get one thing straight.

[1:44] I kind of like Slumdog Billionaires.

[1:46] I don't think any of those were shit movies.

[1:49] I just think Benjamin Button is certainly the least of them.

[1:52] I didn't see that one, but I didn't care for Frost Nixon.

[1:54] Benjamin Button is a fairly boring movie.

[1:57] It's not terrible, but it feels like a movie.

[1:59] It's kind of a league of their own.

[2:01] If it's like Sunday afternoon and it's on TV, then you might sit and watch it.

[2:05] You're not going to go out of your way to see it.

[2:05] But only if there's nothing else that is.

[2:07] Only if there's nothing else on.

[2:08] But, like, Frost Nixon is not a bad movie.

[2:11] It plays fast and loose with history, but it's not bad.

[2:14] Like, Slumdog Billionaires is not a bad movie.

[2:16] It's just overrated.

[2:16] No, certainly not.

Stuart Wellington

[2:17] I mean, Frost Nixon is very much structured like a Bad News Bears style thing,

[2:22] but that doesn't make it a bad movie.

[2:24] That's an odd place to go.

Elliott Kalan

[2:26] No, that is exactly the right place to go.

[2:29] The only way it would have been more like that is if instead of David Frost,

[2:34] it was Walter Matthau who was doing the interview.

Stuart Wellington

[2:36] But, yeah, like, it's a Bad News Bears movie where you're way more interested in, like, the evil team.

Dan McCoy

[2:42] You're like, wow, eating the scenery.

[2:45] Best film of the year.

[2:47] The five nominees are The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

[2:50] No.

[2:50] Ross Nixon.

[2:51] No.

[2:52] Milk.

[2:52] Maybe.

[2:53] The Reader.

[2:54] No.

[2:54] Slumdog Millionaire.

Elliott Kalan

[2:55] No.

[2:56] I'm baffled that The Reader is on there.

[2:59] Did you see The Reader?

[3:00] Yes, I did.

[3:00] I have to admit, though, I was a little drowsy when I watched it, so it didn't keep my attention.

Dan McCoy

[3:05] Elliot is a member of the WGA, the Writers Guild of America.

[3:09] Writers Guild of America East.

Elliott Kalan

[3:10] And thus?

[3:11] Which is the little brother of the Writers Guild, which is the tiny brother of Hollywood.

[3:14] You've seen all five of these, am I correct?

[3:17] Yes.

[3:17] This is one of the first years in a while I've seen every Best Picture nominee.

[3:20] Yeah, I've only seen two of them.

[3:21] Which is the best of them.

[3:22] It sounds like Milk.

[3:23] Slumdog Millionaire.

[3:24] In my opinion, Milk is by far...

[3:26] And Milk has problems.

[3:28] It's not a perfect movie, but the way it's put together, the intensity of it, most of the

[3:32] act...

[3:33] There are two stellar performances in it, which is more than I can say for any of these other

[3:38] films.

[3:38] Frost Nixon comes closest to having that number of good performances.

[3:42] Slumdog Millionaire has...

Dan McCoy

[3:43] Of the three of the five that I've seen...

[3:44] Actually, Slumdog Millionaire has some great children.

[3:46] Milk is my favorite by far.

[3:48] But Milk is...

Elliott Kalan

[3:48] But also, there's something about the fact...

[3:50] Like, Milk is almost...

[3:52] Also feels like the movie of the moment, not just because of Prop 8, but because it's

[3:56] about the importance of persistence in politics, local and grassroots efforts in politics, working

[4:03] through the system to make change.

[4:05] Like, it feels like the movie of the moment.

[4:06] And it's a really well-made movie, and Sean Penn and Josh Brolin are fantastic in it,

[4:11] both of them.

[4:11] It has its issues.

[4:12] It's too repetitive.

Stuart Wellington

[4:13] Should we have really started with this category for the first thing we should talk about?

[4:16] Best Picture?

[4:16] Yeah.

[4:16] We should have saved that for a while.

[4:17] Okay, well, we can talk about other ones, too.

[4:19] I mean, what are we going to talk about last?

[4:20] Like, sound editing?

[4:21] I don't think we're going to talk about that.

[4:22] I don't think we're going to go down the whole list, Jared.

[4:24] But let's say...

[4:24] I want to talk about the...

[4:25] Isn't that...

[4:26] Isn't Wanted nominated for our...

[4:28] We'll save it for our...

[4:28] That movie's a fucking turd.

Elliott Kalan

[4:30] We'll save it for our awards flop-tacular.

Dan McCoy

[4:33] What's Bangkok Dangerous nominated for?

[4:35] Hair?

[4:36] Hair and makeup?

[4:37] Hair and makeup.

Elliott Kalan

[4:38] So, we're there...

[4:39] And what's this shit?

[4:40] Off de Strecca on the line nominated for Best Live Action Short Film?

[4:44] What?

[4:46] Were there any...

[4:46] Everyone knows it's going to go to...

[4:47] To Spitzlugland.

Stuart Wellington

[4:49] Now, were there any nominations that you were actually surprised about in a positive way?

[4:53] Or were there any nominations that you were surprised about in a positive way?

[4:55] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[4:56] Yes, one.

[4:56] Well, you go first, Dan.

[4:57] Well, no, I think that...

[4:58] Oh, two.

[4:59] I think that, in general, the acting nominations...

[5:02] Okay.

[5:03] ...not bad.

[5:04] I was glad to see that Richard Jenkins got a nomination for Best Actor.

[5:09] Yes, very much so.

[5:10] And Tropic Thunder is a pretty good supporting actor nomination because comedic performances don't usually get nominated.

[5:16] I actually haven't seen this movie at all, so I can't actually say whether it's good or bad.

[5:22] No.

[5:23] I was going to say that the fact that Melissa Leo got a nomination for Frozen River just shows that they actually paid attention to movies that people had not seen.

[5:33] Vaguely.

Elliott Kalan

[5:34] Yeah.

[5:34] Vaguely.

[5:35] Synecdo, New York, should be dominating this list, and nobody saw it, and they didn't say it.

[5:40] At the very least, that was the thing that really surprised me the most.

[5:42] Aside from the Best Picture nominees, which it was like, if John McCain had won the 2008 election, he didn't run in 2004.

[5:51] If John McCain...

[5:52] But when Bush won the 2004 election is a bigger version of how I felt when I saw these nominees, where it's like, the months leading up to it, I was like, I know Bush is going to win, and I'm so mad, and I'm going to be so disappointed, and I just hope there's a surprise.

[6:04] And there wasn't, and it was this heart drop of like, oh, there's no changing the system.

[6:09] And that's how I felt with these Best Picture nominees.

[6:11] But, but, but the fact that Synecdoche, New York isn't even nominated for Best Original Screenplay, which you'd think they'd give it to Charlie Kaufman a nomination just on his past work, even if they hadn't seen this movie, which is brilliantly written, but, you know.

Dan McCoy

[6:24] Well, I just think that it's strange.

[6:26] We all know that the Best Picture nominees are given to the, which are the best middle brow films of the year.

[6:32] We're not going to nominate anything too disreputable, and we're not going to nominate anything too arty.

Elliott Kalan

[6:37] Well, it's, Billy Wilder said, I think I've quoted him before on this podcast, maybe I haven't, I don't know.

[6:41] Billy Wilder once said that they don't nominate the best films, they nominate the films that make Hollywood look best.

[6:48] Right.

[6:48] This is Hollywood's advertisement to the rest of the country to say like, see, we made the kind of stuff you guys can respect.

Dan McCoy

[6:54] But even so, like, if they're going to nominate a movie that no one saw, why nominate the reader and not say Rachel getting married, for instance?

Elliott Kalan

[7:02] I still haven't seen that yet.

[7:03] I can't, I, uh, there's some, for every time you've told me you loved it, I've met a person who said they hated it.

Dan McCoy

[7:09] But, but Ellie, you trust me more than most people, don't you?

[7:12] Yeah, usually.

[7:13] But for, like, Frost Nixon, why wasn't, say, WALL-E nominated instead?

[7:19] I know why it wasn't, it wasn't nominated because they put it in the fucking animated category, which is a category that they invented so that no animated film would ever win Best Picture.

Elliott Kalan

[7:29] But also, frankly, like, uh, as much for its flaws and the fact that it's a Batman movie, like, The Dark Knight was a fantastic movie.

[7:37] And I would say better than The Reader and better than Benjamin Button, you know.

Dan McCoy

[7:41] Well, here's where I felt like Dark Knight was robbed, in the directing category.

[7:44] Yes, I agree there, too.

[7:46] Historically, the directing category has been a place where, you know, they can be like, well, this movie was too awesome for us to put in the Best Picture.

[7:56] Yeah.

[7:56] But we'll toss the director a bone.

[7:58] Well, like, if, if...

[7:59] But Christopher Nolan did not get nominated.

Stuart Wellington

[8:01] But Ron Howard gets a nod, uh, weird, because he's not that good at directing movies.

Elliott Kalan

[8:05] Ron Howard is the most baseline competent director in Hollywood.

[8:10] He is not great, and he's not terrible, but he, he is competent.

[8:14] Like, he brings nothing to a movie, and, but he doesn't...

[8:17] And he takes nothing away.

[8:18] And he takes nothing away.

[8:18] It's like, uh, Smokey the Bear.

[8:20] He takes only pictures, leaves only footprints.

[8:21] He's like Keanu Reeves in movies.

[8:22] Um, and...

[8:22] Well, no, Keanu Reeves detracts greatly from movies.

[8:25] Chain Reaction would have been a masterpiece if it was anyone else.

[8:28] But, like, Ron Howard, like, Ron Howard is your journeyman, competent director, but he's been elevated to this, like, this high status for...

[8:36] The saddest thing...

[8:36] Because everybody likes him, because he's a very nice guy.

Stuart Wellington

[8:38] The saddest thing is that David Fincher gets a nod for directing Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

[8:43] Oh.

[8:43] After last year, where he got literally no recognition for directing Zodiac.

[8:47] Zodiac.

[8:47] Which was amazing.

Elliott Kalan

[8:48] Which is, and Zodiac should have been Best Picture last year, and it wasn't nominated.

[8:51] It got nominated.

[8:51] And...

Elliott Kalan

[8:51] At least, or Best Adapted Screenplay.

[8:54] Like, that was a brilliant movie on every level.

Stuart Wellington

[8:55] And I'm just concerned that this will make David Fincher somehow believe, like, maybe I'll just make a bunch of shitty movies now.

[9:00] Well, that's why...

[9:00] Maybe I should be heartwarming.

Elliott Kalan

[9:02] That's why I feel like the Coen brothers last year were not enthusiastic on stage about their awards.

[9:08] Also, because they don't seem like the most effusive guys at all.

[9:10] But it almost feels like they've been making movies that are very personal to them for years.

[9:14] And they finally made a movie that they seem to have put nothing of themselves into, and they won the highest award that Hollywood gives.

[9:21] And they were like, alright, so this is what you want to see from us, is mechanical filmmaking.

[9:26] Huh.

Dan McCoy

[9:27] Well, we understand when you didn't understand The Big Lebowski.

[9:31] But then again, you also didn't honor Fargo.

[9:35] So, I guess this is what you like.

[9:36] Okay, fine.

[9:37] Fargo, whatever.

Elliott Kalan

[9:38] A movie that we put parts of our growing up into.

[9:41] Or, like, even something like The Man Who Wasn't There, which I love.

[9:44] It's like, you can tell they put their soul into that movie, and people don't even talk about it.

Stuart Wellington

[9:49] And then they make a movie like Burn After Reading This Year, where everybody's like, oh, what the hell's this?

Elliott Kalan

[9:54] What happened to the No Country for Old Men?

[9:56] And, like, at least Burn After Reading feels like a movie they enjoyed making.

[9:59] Yeah, it felt like a Coen Brothers movie.

[10:00] I love that.

Dan McCoy

[10:01] Like, the thing is, I sort of don't understand why people are so down.

[10:06] I mean, I guess I understand why people are so down on Burn After Reading, because, alright, fine.

Stuart Wellington

[10:10] Yes, everyone in that movie is reprehensible.

Dan McCoy

[10:13] He's an idiot.

[10:14] But that's the movie.

[10:16] If you look at it just in terms of, like, writing, on, like, a sheer writing level.

[10:20] Like, the brilliance of each character.

[10:22] Like, each character feels totally realized while being totally crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[10:27] Well, I don't know if I'd go that far.

[10:29] But it's a genuinely funny movie all the way through, which is very hard to do.

Stuart Wellington

[10:34] And I'm really glad that...

Elliott Kalan

[10:35] But it's like if they were like, Michael Apted, your 7 Up documentaries are illuminating.

[10:41] But, you know, we'd rather want to reward you for your shitty Bond movie work.

Stuart Wellington

[10:46] Well, and the thing about the Academy Awards this year is that I'm really glad that they felt the need to basically just pee on Bruce Springsteen by nominating the shitty song by Peter Gabriel from WALL-E.

Elliott Kalan

[11:01] That's the one thing wrong with WALL-E is that terrible song.

Stuart Wellington

[11:04] Two fucking songs from Slumdog Millionaire and nothing else.

[11:07] Like, we could have found a space for a fourth person.

[11:11] But, you know...

[11:13] You know...

[11:13] We didn't want Bruce showing up to the Oscars this year.

Dan McCoy

[11:16] You know who no one likes?

[11:18] Bruce Springsteen.

Elliott Kalan

[11:19] You know who wouldn't get people to watch the Oscars?

[11:22] A performance by Bruce Springsteen on the...

[11:24] We...

[11:24] Oh, our ratings are so bad every year.

[11:27] Maybe we should get one of the most popular performers in American history.

[11:30] No, I don't think so.

[11:31] We'll get Peter Gabriel.

Stuart Wellington

[11:32] Yeah, like, what the fuck?

Dan McCoy

[11:34] Are you kidding me?

[11:34] He's gonna shock the monkey.

Elliott Kalan

[11:37] For America.

[11:38] Maybe people remember they kind of like Sledgehammer.

Stuart Wellington

[11:40] Say what you want about the wrestler and Bruce Springsteen songs and whatnot.

[11:44] But, like, I don't think you can come up with a better, like, marriage of artist and subject matter

[11:48] than him singing a song about a beaten down old New Jersey wrestler.

Dan McCoy

[11:54] I haven't even seen the movie.

[11:56] But when I hear the song and the ads, I'm like, that's pretty good.

[12:00] I want to see that piece.

Elliott Kalan

[12:01] That's a pretty good movie.

[12:02] That was one I was a little disappointed in.

[12:04] But what are you gonna do?

[12:05] But still better than the reader.

[12:06] But I was gonna say, I was also very happy to see Richard Jenkins nominated because he's

[12:12] a really great, very solid actor who kind of doesn't get a lot of attention.

[12:16] And he made what could have been a very cliched, bland character into a very believable character.

Dan McCoy

[12:22] Yeah, and he had a bunch of good performances this year.

[12:25] I mean...

[12:26] He's funny in Burn After Reading.

[12:27] He's funny in Burn After Reading.

[12:28] You know what?

[12:29] Stepbrother's not a great movie, but Richard Jenkins is actually very funny in that film.

Elliott Kalan

[12:34] Richard Jenkins, his alcoholic alter ego, and he has a little too many after one night.

Dan McCoy

[12:40] Yeah, no, sure.

[12:40] He goes out to the bar and he's like, just call me Richard Jenkins tonight.

[12:44] Does he hang out with Andy Capp?

Elliott Kalan

[12:46] Oh, Flo kicked you out of the house again, Andy.

[12:49] Yeah, congratulations.

[12:50] Congratulations on your Academy nomination.

[12:53] You know, the worst English accent ever.

Dan McCoy

[12:55] I like to imagine that Andy Capp actually never gets hit by that rolling pin.

[13:00] He just perpetually has a rolling pin floating behind his head.

Elliott Kalan

[13:03] I like to not think about Andy Capp, unless I'm eating cheese fries.

[13:07] I would like to endorse cheese fries for the Oscar nomination this year.

Stuart Wellington

[13:12] I'm really glad that both Brad...

[13:13] For most delicious.

[13:14] I'm really glad that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie both got nominated.

[13:17] I think that's really great.

[13:18] Yeah.

[13:18] And I'm glad that Meryl Streep got nominated for being the most overactiveness actress in the world.

Elliott Kalan

[13:23] I gotta say, she was very good in Doubt, though.

[13:25] Okay.

[13:25] Overacting or no?

[13:27] No, I thought she did a very good job in Doubt.

[13:28] No, I haven't seen it.

Stuart Wellington

[13:29] I heard that she was a little broad.

Elliott Kalan

[13:30] I usually find her to be a little too much, but in Doubt I thought she was very good.

Stuart Wellington

[13:35] And Marissa Tomei got a nod for showing her boobs.

[13:39] Yeah.

[13:39] Pure snipple.

Elliott Kalan

[13:41] She was overlooked for showing her boobs in The Devil Knows You're Dead.

Dan McCoy

[13:44] Again, I would like to pimp Rachel getting married and say that I wish that Rosemary DeWitt got a nomination for Best Supporting Actress.

Elliott Kalan

[13:53] I was glad that Viola Davis was nominated for Doubt.

[13:56] She only has really one scene in the movie, but it is the best scene in the film.

[14:00] As for Taraji P. Henson for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, you know, not that good.

[14:07] Who is that?

[14:09] She plays Benjamin Button's mom, right?

[14:10] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[14:11] Okay.

[14:12] She's not that great.

Stuart Wellington

[14:12] And for the most obvious choice of the year, it's Kung Fu Panda for Best Animated Film.

[14:19] Sorry, Wally.

Dan McCoy

[14:20] Now, Benjamin Button is some sort of stuffed bear, correct?

[14:24] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[14:25] He's like Corduroy.

[14:26] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[14:27] He was born in Paddington Station.

Elliott Kalan

[14:29] The thing that is, what's too bad is that there are a couple of great performances in the supporting actor category.

[14:36] I mean, Heath Ledger should get it.

[14:37] But I wish that Josh Brolin could also win because his performance in Milk is great.

[14:42] Well, he got a Golden Globe that's just as good, right?

[14:45] Sure.

[14:46] The Hollywood Foreign Press.

[14:48] I mean, all of Hollywood or the Hollywood Foreign Press.

[14:50] Hollywood Foreign Press.

[14:51] But Heath Ledger was astounding in The Dark Knight.

[14:55] And Robert Downey Jr. is very funny in Tropic Thunder, although the joke kind of gets very old.

[14:59] Yeah, but he seems so charismatic.

[15:01] But he sells it.

[15:02] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[15:02] You can't watch anyone in the scenes that he's in.

[15:05] And it's a joke that you couldn't imagine anyone pulling off.

Elliott Kalan

[15:08] Yeah, that's true.

[15:09] He does it in a way that, say, even like someone who's more of a comedian would do.

[15:12] Maybe if Tom Cruise had played his character.

[15:15] Oh, I'm so glad Tom Cruise was nominated for this.

Stuart Wellington

[15:17] Yeah, you erased our conversation about the most overrated performance of the year.

[15:21] I didn't erase it.

Elliott Kalan

[15:22] You were worried the Scientologists would come down on you like a bag of bricks.

[15:27] And you erased our discussion of how Tom Cruise sucks in Tropic Thunder.

[15:32] And everyone said he was great, but he's terrible.

[15:34] Terrible.

Stuart Wellington

[15:34] He just put on a fursuit and a bald cap.

Elliott Kalan

[15:37] You were afraid they'd kill you like they killed Jack Parsons.

Stuart Wellington

[15:40] Hey, I noticed that Colin Farrell's performance from In Bruges is conspicuously absent.

[15:47] I still haven't seen In Bruges, but I want to.

Dan McCoy

[15:49] I think In Bruges is very good.

[15:51] I was actually glad that it got a nomination for Best Screenplay.

Elliott Kalan

[15:55] And I was glad, but, you know, WALL-E should get Best Original Screenplay.

[15:59] So, sorry, In Bruges.

Dan McCoy

[16:01] Was that original or adapted?

[16:02] Burn on you, guys.

Elliott Kalan

[16:03] WALL-E is not just a great animated film.

[16:05] It's a really fantastically written film.

[16:08] Like, the structure of that movie is so phenomenal in a way that none of the others are.

[16:13] Certainly not Milk, which is super repetitive.

[16:16] That's a movie that succeeds despite its script.

[16:20] As opposed to something like...

[16:22] Frost Nixon, which had, I think, a better script than a director.

[16:25] Yeah, you could say that.

[16:26] Although there's parts of Frost Nixon that I don't like.

[16:28] Or something like...

Stuart Wellington

[16:29] But I think, like, the Peter Morgan elements are what makes that movie.

[16:32] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[16:33] I think we all agree that, though, that we're the best achievement in sound mixing.

[16:37] Wanted to take it away.

Stuart Wellington

[16:39] It's amazing.

[16:40] I mean, they curve bullets.

[16:42] How do you make that sound effect?

[16:44] You've got to imagine that sound first, and that's the hard part.

Elliott Kalan

[16:46] I imagine it's sort of like a...

Stuart Wellington

[16:49] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Elliott Kalan

[16:52] Sure.

[16:53] That's just one of those racers from Phantom Menace.

[16:56] Yeah, you're right.

[16:57] And I hope that Presto wins for Best Animated Short Film, because I think it's the best short

[17:01] Pixar has ever done, maybe.

[17:02] I agree with that.

[17:04] And it's a great concept that I'm surprised we haven't seen more often.

[17:07] It's a magic hat with a rabbit in it.

[17:09] An adorable rabbit.

[17:10] Q hijinks.

Stuart Wellington

[17:12] Best makeup?

[17:13] Hellboy 2 The Golden Army I kind of want to win, because it's a really cool-looking movie.

[17:17] I hope Curious Case of Benjamin Button doesn't win, because the makeup in it is not that great.

Elliott Kalan

[17:21] Benjamin Button, I don't want it to...

[17:23] Like, if it wins screenplay, I'm going to be so mad, because it is a terrible script.

Stuart Wellington

[17:27] If he wins Best Actor, I think it'll spawn an entire generation of actors who just look

[17:32] kind of bored the entire movie.

Elliott Kalan

[17:35] It is maybe his worst performance.

[17:38] Not maybe.

[17:38] Of late.

[17:39] Of late.

[17:39] He's done...

[17:40] Especially in a year when he was in Burn After Reading, which he's fantastic in.

Stuart Wellington

[17:44] Brad Pitt is...

[17:45] Which he shouldn't get any recognition for being good.

[17:47] He should get recognition for being bland.

[17:49] Yes, exactly.

[17:50] But on screen a lot.

[17:51] But that's the Academy Awards.

Elliott Kalan

[17:51] The Academy Awards recognizes blandness and easy-to-digestness and mediocrity.

Dan McCoy

[17:57] What I'm saying about Burn After Reading, perhaps I was remiss in calling these

[18:02] characters well-rounded, because they're all cartoon funhouse characters.

[18:07] However, the Coen brothers are amazing in terms of just writing unique characters, none

[18:14] of whom sound like each other, and each are indelible, and you understand who they are within

[18:21] moments of them coming on screen.

Elliott Kalan

[18:22] I mean, they're two of the best writers in film, basically.

Dan McCoy

[18:26] And there's a dildo chair in that movie.

Elliott Kalan

[18:28] There's a Sibian chair, which is hilarious.

[18:29] Or Sibian, I don't know how it's pronounced.

[18:31] Which is hilarious.

Stuart Wellington

[18:31] I've only heard about those on websites.

Elliott Kalan

[18:34] I saw it in my Gentleman's Magazine.

[18:35] I realize that's...

[18:36] We've been quoting this at work constantly.

[18:38] A Gentleman's Magazine.

[18:40] It's mostly just speed rail.

[18:41] It cost me $100 to put it together.

[18:43] Not including labor costs.

[18:45] And I had to buy the dildo.

[18:47] I'm not set up to mold plastic.

[18:49] Or mold latex, whatever he says.

[18:51] Such a funny scene.

[18:53] There's that moment...

[18:54] Oh, well, it involves a spoiler.

[18:55] I won't say it.

[18:56] There's a moment of just George Clooney's posture in one part of that movie that blew me away.

[19:01] That involves him killing someone he's not supposed to kill.

[19:05] And then just this moment...

[19:06] You just see him, and his shoulders are so slumped down, and he looks so sad in his posture.

[19:11] And it's just this defeated, pathetic moment from George Clooney that you rarely see that was just really great.

Dan McCoy

[19:16] Well, this is going to be the longest movie minute.

[19:18] Yeah, this is a 20-minute movie minute.

Elliott Kalan

[19:20] Well, you can edit it down, right?

Dan McCoy

[19:22] I didn't say anything that interesting.

[19:23] I can edit it down to a tight three minutes, Elliot.

[19:26] That's the kind of guy I am.

Elliott Kalan

[19:28] Just cut out everything except the best picture talk.

Dan McCoy

[19:30] Yeah.

[19:30] Fucking Oscars, huh?

[19:32] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[19:33] What are you going to do?

[19:33] How come Australia didn't get nominated for too much?

[19:36] Just costume design.

[19:37] Not even songs?

[19:39] Not even songs.

[19:39] Baz Luhrmann loves songs.

[19:41] That Peter Gabriel song in WALL-E is so bad.

[19:43] It's so crappy, right?

[19:44] And it's that movie...

[19:45] Like, the movie ends on such a perfect note, and you're like, oh, just let me savor this.

[19:48] And then Peter Gabriel's terrible song comes in and ruins it.

[19:52] Like...

[19:53] You know what?

[19:54] I don't even want it to win Best Animated Picture anymore because of that song.

Stuart Wellington

[19:56] Dude, like, is...

[19:57] Is, like...

[19:57] Did Randy Newman die or something?

[19:59] Like, why didn't they just call that dude?

[20:00] No.

Elliott Kalan

[20:01] Randy...

[20:01] I assume he and Peter Gabriel switch off.

[20:04] Okay.

[20:04] They tack out?

[20:05] Yeah.

[20:06] That's too bad.

[20:07] Peter!

[20:08] Take care of this one!

[20:09] Slap hands.

[20:10] So are the Oscars.

[20:11] And don't worry, when it happens for real, it'll be a super disappointing thing.

Dan McCoy

[20:14] And then afterwards we'll talk about it all sad stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[20:17] And my boss is not hosting it, so I'm not doing anything for it this year.

[20:20] Boo.

[20:20] But I was recently accosted by a relative of mine because he was mad about a clip I used

[20:24] in the gay cowboy thing, which is three years old at this point.

[20:28] But he was talking about it as if it just happened.

[20:30] And I was like, really?

[20:31] Like, I kind of forgot I did that.

[20:33] Like, why would...

[20:34] You know.

[20:34] But anyway.

[20:35] So the Oscars lives on in people's hearts.

[20:37] It's a night for Hollywood magic.

The Flop House Movie Minute #19 - Oscar Bait

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