The Flop House Movie Minute #24 - 18 Again, Again

Dan McCoy

[0:00] And now, the Flophouse Movie Minute.

[0:29] The last class of movies that was very popular in the late 80s and early 90s and then strangely disappeared has had a resurgence.

[0:37] Cyberpunk thrillers.

Stuart Wellington

[0:39] Johnny Mnemonic.

[0:41] The Net, Johnny Mnemonic.

Dan McCoy

[0:44] No, no, no, no, my friends.

[0:46] The Web.

[0:47] Something far more disturbing.

[0:48] Web surfers.

[0:49] What's that?

[0:50] Hackers.

[0:51] Age switch movies or age change movies.

Stuart Wellington

[0:52] Oh, yeah, they got that one coming out, right?

[0:54] Yeah, 17 again.

Elliott Kalan

[0:55] I assume that's a prequel to 18 again.

[0:58] Anybody hear about this?

Stuart Wellington

[0:58] Anybody?

Elliott Kalan

[0:59] Yeah, Dave.

[1:00] Yeah, I saw the age-changing movies, Dave.

[1:03] Yeah, Jay, age-changing movies.

[1:05] Bow.

[1:07] That's a nice air base.

Dan McCoy

[1:11] Zac Efron is in the Charlie Schlatter role.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14] I was going to say Stephen King.

[1:16] Is 17 again the prequel to 18 again with George Burns, another shitty movie?

[1:21] Mm-hmm.

[1:22] Hold on, there, guy.

[1:23] I should mention, by the way, that except for...

Dan McCoy

[1:25] That's how they avoided getting sued by the makers of 18 again, is they changed the number

[1:29] by one digit.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30] Except for vice versa, I hate age-change movies.

Dan McCoy

[1:33] Yeah, and vice versa's great.

[1:34] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35] But like...

Dan McCoy

[1:36] So you even hate Big, the one that was the big critical favorite.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39] Big's fine.

[1:40] I like that well enough.

[1:41] I got to go to the movies with my parents and see a girl's boobs in a bra.

[1:45] You know, that's...

Stuart Wellington

[1:46] Yeah, you do, right?

[1:47] Yeah.

[1:47] They're not even that good.

[1:48] Now that I grow up and watch them again...

Elliott Kalan

[1:49] Well, if you look back at most 80s movies, the quality of...

[1:53] You know, we're used to surgically enhanced women now.

[1:56] We kind of can do better than nature can.

[1:58] Yeah.

[1:59] But at the time, they had to make do with the poor, the paltry boobs that nature was providing.

Stuart Wellington

[2:04] Like, what's her name in Roadhouse?

[2:05] And you're like, yikes.

[2:08] No thanks, please.

Dan McCoy

[2:10] But anyway...

[2:12] This is taking a really weird, like, pro-plastic surgery term.

[2:15] No, no, no.

[2:15] I thought that was what we were going to talk about.

Elliott Kalan

[2:17] No.

[2:17] But yeah, these age-changed movies...

[2:18] I'm talking about, like, 80s boobs being gross sometimes.

[2:21] But also, like, vice versa is based on a story...

[2:23] Like, a late or 19th century, early 20th century story that was made into the movies...

[2:27] The monkeys, uh-huh.

[2:29] No, I don't think it's the monkeys...

[2:30] Is it in an Owl Creek Bridge?

[2:32] No, not...

[2:32] Not occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge by Ambrose Bierce.

[2:36] The most dangerous game?

[2:38] No, not the most dangerous game.

Stuart Wellington

[2:39] Oh, yeah, that movie Surviving the Game was based on the most dangerous game.

Elliott Kalan

[2:43] Anyway, and the movie The Most Dangerous Game.

[2:46] And Hard Target, I think.

[2:48] Yeah.

[2:48] But anyway...

[2:49] And The Condemned.

[2:51] But this...

[2:52] Battle Royale, too, I think.

[2:53] But there was an old movie version of Vice-A-Versa.

[2:55] It has...

[2:56] I don't remember what the title is, but...

[2:57] But yeah, like, age-change movies, you always think they're dead, and then they come back.

[3:01] You know, like...

[3:02] Like Jason.

Dan McCoy

[3:03] Yeah.

[3:03] The Freaky Friday remake, uh, starring...

[3:06] With Lindsay Lohan.

[3:06] Lindsay Lohan at the...

[3:07] Lohan.

Elliott Kalan

[3:08] And Jamie Lee Curtis.

Dan McCoy

[3:09] But that somehow didn't feel like...

[3:11] Nice gams on that one.

Elliott Kalan

[3:13] Jamie Lee Curtis?

[3:14] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[3:15] That didn't feel like a resurgence...

[3:16] No argument from me.

[3:17] ...of the genre so much, because, like, that sort of felt like...

[3:20] It was just a one-off.

[3:21] It was...

[3:21] It felt like a, uh...

[3:23] A remake, is what it felt like.

[3:25] It was a remake.

[3:25] Oh, we made this once with Jodie Foster, and we're making...

[3:29] We're remaking literally every film that's ever been made, so...

[3:31] But it was also...

[3:32] It's Freaky Friday's turn.

Elliott Kalan

[3:33] They are remaking every film that's...

[3:34] They're...

[3:35] Are they really remaking Clue, which is what I heard recently?

Dan McCoy

[3:38] Yeah, we were talking about this, and I was saying that...

[3:40] The thing is that what makes Clue work, if anything, is the specific group of comic actors

[3:46] they got to perform it, and I don't know how they would do that now.

[3:51] Like, who would be in the remake of Clue?

[3:52] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[3:52] Well, Christopher Lloyd, of course.

[3:54] I hope so.

[3:55] But there's almost no movie that wouldn't be better.

[3:57] Jason Statham is playing Mitch Javon.

[3:59] Jason Statham.

[4:00] But, uh...

[4:01] But, yeah, they're remaking everything that remakes Seemades.

[4:04] But also, like, Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis were kind of, like, right for those parts.

[4:08] Yeah.

[4:09] In a strange way.

[4:10] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[4:10] You're saying that Matthew Perry and Zac Efron are not right for...

Elliott Kalan

[4:13] I think they're right for zero parts.

[4:16] Well, I think...

[4:17] Whoa.

Stuart Wellington

[4:17] Looking at Zac Efron, I can kind of squint my eyes a little bit and imagine that, you know,

[4:23] in however many years he's going to look exactly like...

[4:24] Imagine that he's 17.

[4:25] He's 17 years old.

[4:26] He's...

[4:26] Oh.

[4:27] Okay.

[4:28] Instead of, what, 45?

Elliott Kalan

[4:30] What is he now?

[4:30] He's, like, college age.

[4:32] He's, like, 23?

[4:33] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[4:34] But there's also...

[4:34] I imagine he'll grow up to look like Matthew Perry.

[4:38] I hope so.

Elliott Kalan

[4:39] Well, he goes...

[4:40] He's like...

[4:40] Does he go back in time or he becomes young again?

Dan McCoy

[4:44] I think he goes through a time vortex.

[4:45] He becomes young because, as far as I can discern from the trailers, Matthew Perry's daughter,

[4:53] played by Michelle Trachtenberg of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Eurotrip fame, according

[4:59] to the trailers.

[4:59] He goes back and part of what he does is, as an overprotective father, he and the guise

[5:06] of Zac Efron, you know, sprays would-be suitors of her daughter.

[5:11] With his musk?

[5:11] With his...

[5:15] He lifts up his skunk tail and sprays them.

[5:18] No, like, with, you know, they're washing the car and he sprays them with the hose.

[5:22] Oh.

[5:22] And that's the way he's protecting his daughter from having his virginity stolen.

Elliott Kalan

[5:25] The daughter probably gets a crush on him, not knowing it's her father.

[5:29] Like, Back to the Future.

[5:30] Like, Back to the Future.

[5:31] That would be such a crazy predicament.

[5:33] She starts going about Calvin Klein, maybe.

[5:34] Yeah, because she's never heard that name before.

[5:36] Here's...

[5:36] This is a true story about when I first saw the commercial for Seventeen Again.

[5:40] I was watching TV with my lovely girlfriend, Danielle, and the commercial for Seventeen Again

[5:45] comes on, and in my head I'm going, what?

[5:47] And then he has the line, this is my chance to go back and do things right.

[5:52] And I said out loud, as a reflex, fuck you.

[5:55] And he was like, not meaning to.

[5:57] And I was just...

[5:58] It made me so mad.

[5:59] It was the same way that when I first saw...

[6:01] And that's why Danielle kicked you out of the apartment.

[6:03] Yes.

[6:04] When I first saw John Travolta's neck tattoo in The Taking of Palomone 2-3, I had the same

[6:08] response, I think.

[6:09] But like, just that it's so...

[6:11] Like, there's something so cliche about that idea of like, too soon.

Stuart Wellington

[6:15] No jokes about John Travolta.

[6:17] He's going through...

[6:18] He had a loss.

Elliott Kalan

[6:19] That does nothing to do...

[6:20] I'm making fun of his look at a movie that he shot a year ago.

Stuart Wellington

[6:23] Take it easy, okay?

[6:25] Okay, sorry.

[6:26] Back to the...

[6:26] Back to what we're talking about.

Elliott Kalan

[6:27] Sorry, back to Zac Efron, who's, I think, experienced no losses.

[6:32] It's just like...

[6:32] Only wins.

[6:33] That line is so cliche, and like, that idea is so cliche, and the whole idea of it is

[6:38] so...

[6:38] Like, it's...

[6:39] There's no reason...

[6:40] Unless you have a really good gimmick...

Stuart Wellington

[6:42] The thing is, is everybody's full of regrets, and we all want to be 17 again, so we can fix

[6:46] what we did wrong.

[6:46] I don't...

Elliott Kalan

[6:46] 17 was terrible.

[6:48] It was a terrible age.

[6:49] It's...

[6:49] Many times I've thought I would...

[6:51] If you could pay...

[6:52] Like, Eternal Sunshine.

[6:53] If you could pay to have those memories removed permanently, I would probably go do that.

[6:58] Yeah.

[6:58] I'd probably go back to college.

[7:00] Yeah, I'd go back to college.

[7:01] That was great.

[7:02] Yeah, but...

[7:02] I had three girls at night.

Stuart Wellington

[7:04] College.

[7:05] You guys, what, were getting swirlies every day back in high school?

[7:09] Well, that's the thing.

[7:10] But by the...

[7:10] Giving wedgies and hung up on the line.

Dan McCoy

[7:11] No, no, but that was like...

[7:12] I was actually quite unpopular in middle school.

[7:16] I know it's surprising.

[7:17] But by the time we got into college, like...

[7:19] For some reason, I see a middle school kid with a walking stick.

[7:22] Yeah.

[7:23] By the time I got into high school...

[7:24] Maybe a little cap.

[7:25] I was...

[7:26] Selling papers.

[7:27] All right, you know, like, that was not a problem anymore, but I still was miserable.

Elliott Kalan

[7:30] I mean, I was not necessarily popular or unpopular.

[7:33] Like, in high school, I was kind of like...

[7:35] It wasn't the thing where I was, like, hanging out with the nerds, and, like, the bullies would

[7:38] come by and be like, uh-oh, now I'm gonna get a wedgie!

[7:42] It was either, like...

Stuart Wellington

[7:43] And wouldn't they give you the wedgie?

[7:44] Would they pull the underpants over your head?

[7:46] Yeah.

[7:46] So that they, like...

[7:46] Well, no, I never got something like that.

Elliott Kalan

[7:48] It was either, like...

[7:49] Oh, okay.

[7:50] It fell between the extremes of either everyone ignored me completely and I was non-existent,

[7:55] or someone for no reason would decide to, like, threaten me with a knife.

[7:59] Like, it was one of those two extremes, but never...

[8:02] Sure.

[8:02] If it was in the middle and it was just, like...

[8:04] I could see how the ladder would be...

[8:04] If it was just, like, a nerdlinger, deal with it, smarty pants, I'd be like, well, that

[8:09] guy's an idiot.

[8:10] But it was partly being ignored constantly and partly, like, or just feeling someone punch

[8:15] me in the leg as I'm walking down the hallway for no reason.

[8:17] It was just that random violence was kind of unnecessary.

[8:20] Mm-hmm.

[8:21] I was only threatened with a knife once, so, you know, that's...

[8:24] Mm-hmm.

[8:24] And then you took it away from him.

[8:26] And plunged it into his neck, like in Watchmen.

[8:28] Awesome.

Dan McCoy

[8:30] So the moral of this movie minute has been...

Stuart Wellington

[8:33] Going back...

[8:33] Movies that make you go back in time are stupid.

Elliott Kalan

[8:36] Yeah, they're dumb.

[8:37] But unless there's, like, a real...

[8:38] Maybe there's a really good...

[8:39] Like, Big has a good gimmick.

[8:41] The idea of a young kid now having to make his way in the adult world is kind of funny.

[8:46] Like, what was that movie with Jennifer Garner?

[8:48] 13 going on 30.

[8:50] That's not...

[8:50] No, that one's not so good.

[8:51] Joanne Head, did you say?

Stuart Wellington

[8:53] Yeah, she's got that big forehead.

Elliott Kalan

[8:55] That one's dumb because that was, like, she had just forgotten everything that happened

[8:59] between the ages of 13 and 30.

[9:02] Like, that's tragic.

[9:03] You have to assume she was in a coma for 17 years.

[9:05] Yeah, absolutely.

[9:06] That was...

[9:06] I saw 13 going on 30.

Dan McCoy

[9:09] That was not what happened.

[9:10] It's...

[9:11] Everyone was behaving as if she'd forgotten it all.

[9:13] And she'd forgotten it!

[9:14] But there was some sort of, like, crazy magical explanation at the end because she goes back.

Elliott Kalan

[9:21] Gypsies are the last race that we're allowed to stereotype against.

Dan McCoy

[9:24] I'll tell you one thing, though.

[9:25] 13 going on 30 has Andy Serkis in it.

[9:27] God.

[9:28] Yeah.

[9:29] What's he doing?

[9:30] He was playing, like, a flamboyant magazine editor.

[9:34] Is there any other kind?

[9:35] That works.

[9:36] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[9:37] I don't know.

[9:37] If sitcoms are to be believed, no, there's no other kind.

Elliott Kalan

[9:42] But I just think that the age-changing thing is, unless you can do it really well, it's not worth doing.

Dan McCoy

[9:47] Yeah.

[9:48] So, in conclusion, Andy Serkis, great actor.

[9:53] Hey.

[9:54] That's what we've learned.

[9:56] Good night, everyone.

The Flop House Movie Minute #24 - 18 Again, Again

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