High Rollers, with Jordan Morris

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss high rollers.

[0:03] Don't worry, we hadn't heard of it either.

[0:05] Hey everyone, and welcome to The Flop House.

[0:31] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:32] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:34] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[0:35] I went for the opposite volume.

[0:37] You guys started low and went high.

[0:38] And then I started high and went low.

[0:39] I de-heightened, yeah.

[0:40] And who's joining us today?

[0:41] We have a special guest with us today, don't we?

[0:43] Introduce yourself.

[0:44] It's me, Jordan Morris.

[0:45] Oh, wow.

[0:46] That's right.

[0:47] I'm doing both kinds of energy.

[0:48] This won't be annoying.

[0:49] But he's moving away from the mic because he's a podcast professional.

[0:52] Thank you.

[0:54] Jordan Morris, podcasting legend.

[0:55] Hi, it's me.

[0:56] Of Jordan Jesse Goe.

[0:57] Writer, performer.

[0:58] Yeah, he's a podcasting legend.

[1:00] He is a Jack Black impersonator.

[1:01] He is, you know-

[1:02] Comic book writer.

[1:03] Just, you know, but like non-professional.

[1:04] No, no.

[1:05] In his free time.

[1:06] If you have a children's birthday party and you want a Jack Black performer to show up

[1:07] but you can't afford Jack Black, Jordan Morris will be Jack Black at your children's birthday

[1:08] party.

[1:09] Yeah.

[1:10] You're gonna give him a couple days to grow that beard a little bit crazier though.

[1:11] Yeah, I was telling the guys, before we started recording, I'm keeping my beard a little bit

[1:12] thinner.

[1:14] In order for that beard to grow, we need to do some breathing.

[1:15] That's it.

[1:16] Technically, our bark looks kind of like this.

[1:17] We're not going to do that.

[1:18] Yeah.

[1:49] So you're saying Wilson's free?

[1:51] Yeah.

[1:52] But don't try and tie Wilson down.

[1:54] Believe me.

[1:55] Yeah.

[1:56] Listen, if you just want a quick roll in the sand with Wilson, try and get that volleyball

[2:00] to come in.

[2:01] Yeah, he's got the body for rolling in the sand.

[2:04] He loves to roll.

[2:06] No, but I'm keeping the beard tidier for many reasons.

[2:11] But one of them is because when it was bigger and bushier, like kids were stopping me on

[2:16] the street to ask me if I was Jack Black.

[2:19] I think this is a great chance for us all to go around and say what celebrities people

[2:23] say we have looked like.

[2:24] Elliot, you go next.

[2:26] Has anyone stopped you on the street to say you look like Jack Black?

[2:29] No, not like Jack Black.

[2:30] Usually, if there's some kind of nerdy celebrity, people don't say, you don't think I'm that

[2:33] person, but they say I look like someone nerdy, you know?

[2:38] Yeah.

[2:39] I haven't gotten any celebrity comparisons in recent years.

[2:44] Well, that's not true.

[2:45] Since I got the beard, there's a lot of Riker.

[2:48] That's a good one.

[2:50] But nobody thinks you're actually Riker.

[2:52] No, no one thinks I'm actually Riker.

[2:53] A much older man.

[2:55] No, it's like what we've gotten.

[2:56] It's not like, Stuart, you know, we don't all have to be mistaken for these things,

[3:00] right?

[3:01] Clarify the question, please, Chancellor.

[3:02] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[3:03] I mean, not mistaken for.

[3:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[3:05] Okay.

[3:06] I was just saying, I just want to ascertain that unlike Jordan Mars, when people go up

[3:10] and say, are you Jack Black?

[3:12] No one went up to you and said, are you Jonathan Frakes, the actor who played Riker?

[3:16] Dan, can you help me?

[3:17] I have two stories, and I need to know which ones are fact and which ones are fiction.

[3:24] At one point, I occasionally would get another member of the Next Generation crew, I would

[3:29] get Brent Spiner.

[3:30] When I was younger, I would get John Cusack.

[3:35] Oh, that's pretty good.

[3:36] That's pretty good.

[3:37] Great ones.

[3:38] And obviously, I get plenty, but the two that I feel like were least accurate but still

[3:42] very complimentary were Michael Fassbender, and I had just seen Shame, so I was like,

[3:49] hell yeah.

[3:50] And I'm like, man, he's dragging one.

[3:53] And somebody, an Australian person said I look like Heath Ledger, and I'm like, that's

[3:57] factually incorrect, but I appreciate it.

[4:00] Yeah.

[4:01] Let me check the encyclopedia of people who look like other people.

[4:05] It's not in here.

[4:06] No.

[4:07] Yeah.

[4:08] I appreciate it.

[4:09] I appreciate it.

[4:10] Hey.

[4:11] What if you put me through a database, like they might use in the movie we watched today?

[4:15] Yeah, yeah.

[4:16] Like a criminal database?

[4:17] Yeah.

[4:18] Yeah.

[4:19] Speaking of that movie, what we do on here, on this podcast, The Flophouse, is not talk

[4:24] about beards or celebrity lookalikes.

[4:26] We just did, Dan.

[4:27] We just did.

[4:28] So I need to get gaslighted.

[4:29] Yeah.

[4:30] I got to check the encyclopedia of factually incorrect things said on podcasts, and that's

[4:35] in there now.

[4:36] I'm looking at the video footage because you're telling me that we're not talking about it,

[4:39] but we're talking about it.

[4:40] Yeah.

[4:41] That's true.

[4:42] OK.

[4:43] Well, it's not the prime directive.

[4:44] Uh-huh.

[4:45] Uh-huh.

[4:46] Of our podcast.

[4:47] Uh-huh.

[4:48] Uh-huh.

[4:49] Uh-huh.

[4:50] Uh-huh.

[4:51] Uh-huh.

[4:52] Uh-huh.

[4:53] Uh-huh.

[4:54] Uh-huh.

[4:55] Uh-huh.

[4:56] Uh-huh.

[4:57] Uh-huh.

[4:58] Uh-huh.

[4:59] Uh-huh.

[5:00] Uh-huh.

[5:01] Uh-huh.

[5:02] Uh-huh.

[5:03] Uh-huh.

[5:04] Uh-huh.

[5:05] Yeah.

[5:06] Of course.

[5:07] Yeah.

[5:08] We discuss movies that are critical or commercial flops and talk about what we thought about

[5:12] them.

[5:13] And on this episode, we saw a movie that I don't think was in theaters.

[5:18] That's the thing.

[5:19] No.

[5:20] I would be surprised.

[5:21] According to Wikipedia, it grossed $72,805 in the United Arab Emirates.

[5:25] Oh.

[5:26] OK.

[5:27] So it was in theaters in at least one country.

[5:28] Yeah.

[5:29] Unless those are video rentals in the UAE.

[5:30] Yeah.

[5:32] When you say movies that are critical or commercial flop, a movie like this, you kind of ask yourself,

[5:38] is this a real movie?

[5:40] Or is this like, did a guy spend a lot of money to get some famous people together to

[5:43] make a bar mitzvah video?

[5:44] Yeah.

[5:45] I feel like calling it a flop doesn't take into account all the effort that went into

[5:49] just giving birth to it in the first place.

[5:51] Yeah.

[5:52] Sure.

[5:53] I can see this being something that they showed at the company Christmas party for the hotel

[5:57] it was filmed at.

[5:58] Like everybody has a little cameo and you like clap when Dan from HR pops up in the

[6:07] background.

[6:08] Someone's just staring at John Travolta, obviously, considering this is this is a this is one

[6:12] thing we should say about that.

[6:13] This is a movie directed by Ives, which is Randall Ives Emmett, the the actual real life

[6:18] basis of the character Turtle on Entourage.

[6:21] So that is the pedigree that this movie has.

[6:24] Yeah.

[6:25] Interesting.

[6:26] Yeah.

[6:27] OK.

[6:28] So in this case, I put this movie on the docket in part because it did show up on a lot of

[6:35] like worst of last year lists and it's got big stars in it.

[6:39] Well, that's the thing.

[6:40] This would be huge.

[6:41] This would definitely qualify for, I think, a small timber movie, if not for the fact

[6:46] that it has, you know, some recognizable names in it.

[6:50] John Travolta, of course, foremost among them, but also Junior Sean, Lucas Haas, Quavo of

[6:56] Amigos.

[6:57] Do we get out of them?

[6:59] Did we run out of Quavo Quavo, Quavo, Quavo, Quavo, but one of the members of Amigos, huge

[7:05] group.

[7:06] Yeah.

[7:07] Oh, OK.

[7:08] Yeah.

[7:09] That's what that is.

[7:10] I was like, who's this one named fellow?

[7:11] And then a number of other actors and actresses who are not as recognizable.

[7:17] And this is a kind of in that geyser teaser genre of film where what's a geyser teaser?

[7:24] It's like they they these movies are mostly used for tickling the testicles of a woman.

[7:30] Well, and the taint.

[7:31] Yeah.

[7:32] That's when you tell your grandpa you're going to Sizzler, but then you never go to Sizzler.

[7:36] We might go soon.

[7:39] They put it on after Crank Yankers.

[7:42] Now we got a geyser teaser.

[7:44] Once you yank your crank, you gotta tease your geyser.

[7:48] Coming up soon on Comedy Central in 1998.

[7:52] Crank Yankers, then geyser teasers, then The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

[7:58] Then another Crank Yankers.

[8:00] We gotta get your numbers up.

[8:01] Geyser teasers is blasting out of the water, guys.

[8:03] And you have this amazing lead in from geyser teasers.

[8:06] Then what would Comedy Central show after that?

[8:09] Like Stewardess School or Ninja Academy or something like that?

[8:12] Maybe in its early years.

[8:13] You guys are threatening me with a good time.

[8:15] Probably PCU.

[8:16] PCU.

[8:17] PCU.

[8:18] Or reruns of Whose Line Is It Anyway for four straight hours.

[8:22] Sounds like a good time.

[8:24] We didn't know how good we had it.

[8:27] We had no idea.

[8:28] But that was wonderful.

[8:29] Yeah, exactly.

[8:30] This has been according to...

[8:33] Sometimes you don't know what you got until it's gone.

[8:35] They paved Comedy Central and put up just non-stop office reruns.

[8:39] Yeah.

[8:41] They don't generate...

[8:42] I mean, it's just South Park and The Daily Show.

[8:44] And office reruns.

[8:45] The new things?

[8:46] Well, I mean, they're producing new episodes.

[8:49] They're both like 20 years old.

[8:51] They're producing new episodes.

[8:52] It's the thing that's not a rerun.

[8:53] I mean, we've entered a world where my parents now ask me if I've watched South Park.

[8:57] Because they watch South Park all the time.

[8:59] Yeah, because it's an American institution now.

[9:01] Meanwhile, Comedy Central's not making new episodes of Small Doses.

[9:04] Not making new episodes of Limbo Land.

[9:06] Not making new episodes of Ted Goes to the Orient.

[9:08] No Bacon Lot.

[9:09] No episodes of Bacon Lot.

[9:10] Exactly.

[9:11] Yeah.

[9:12] Exit 57.

[9:13] Exit 57.

[9:15] I was going to say Route 57.

[9:16] Which is actually the road you take to get to the Heinz factory.

[9:18] What happened to Higgins, Boise and Gruber?

[9:19] Man, I haven't seen one of those in a long time.

[9:20] I do hear they're working on a soft reboot of Crowed Mandoon.

[9:25] That's like the only name I freaking can think of.

[9:29] That was when I worked for a Comedy Central show at midnight.

[9:32] And that was always when we needed to take a shot at the network.

[9:36] Just a playful rib at our, you know, corporate moms and pops.

[9:42] Just nipping the hand that feeds you a little bit.

[9:44] Yes, we would always make a reference to Crowed Mandoon.

[9:48] And the flaming sword of fire.

[9:49] Yeah.

[9:50] Yeah.

[9:51] Sure.

[9:52] Sure.

[9:53] Anyway, to answer a question posed long ago.

[9:54] A geezer teaser is a phrase that has been coined to describe these movies.

[9:58] Like often.

[10:00] you know, funded with a lot of like overseas money

[10:03] and shot overseas on the cheap

[10:04] where you get an aging star and that is what,

[10:08] who's the aging star in this one?

[10:10] In this case, John Malta.

[10:12] But like, I mean, you know, but before, you know,

[10:15] sadly dementia like prevented him from making more movies,

[10:18] like a lot of those Bruce Willis late period movies,

[10:21] that was the genre.

[10:22] Because it was, I think Bruce Willis helped to,

[10:24] I mean, it's the kind of thing that,

[10:26] to be honest, international movies

[10:27] have been doing for decades,

[10:29] where they take someone who is a big name,

[10:31] who is maybe no longer headlining big American movies.

[10:34] And they say,

[10:35] we'll pay you a certain amount of money to be in it.

[10:36] And Bruce Willis was the modern pioneer of it,

[10:39] where he literally had a rate,

[10:40] where he's like, if you pay me this amount of money,

[10:42] I will do, you know, three days of shooting for your movie.

[10:45] It doesn't matter what the movie is.

[10:47] It could be a snuff film.

[10:48] It could be, he didn't say that.

[10:50] But, and John Travolta is certainly

[10:52] in that place in his career.

[10:54] Yeah.

[10:55] Well, that being said, guys, let's meet our geezer.

[10:59] John Travolta.

[11:01] I love that this is now a branded segment.

[11:03] I love it.

[11:04] Yeah.

[11:05] Looking more and more.

[11:06] Cover him down, but not too fast, okay?

[11:08] Now, I want to make it very clear,

[11:10] the geezer label does not apply to Gina Gershon,

[11:12] one of my favorites,

[11:13] who is great in this, great in everything.

[11:15] I love her.

[11:16] Yeah.

[11:18] You know, and I'm,

[11:20] he's not, he's certainly thrown away his goodwill,

[11:23] but I'm, you know, I'm still fond of John Travolta.

[11:25] I don't want to like make, and do fun of him,

[11:27] but I will say,

[11:29] after claiming that I won't make fun of him,

[11:31] that he's looking in this more and more

[11:33] like a wooly willy where you've put all the

[11:36] iron shavings on the beard area.

[11:38] And he's, I feel like his like neck vertebrae

[11:42] have been fused or something.

[11:44] I'm not sure.

[11:45] At this point, John Travolta is 70.

[11:48] He's going to be 72 years old,

[11:50] just a couple of weeks after we record this.

[11:53] And I think the dark beard is intended

[11:55] to make him seem younger than he is.

[11:57] But instead, there's a certain amount of,

[12:00] without like non-CGI Robert De Niro

[12:03] in the Irishman about it,

[12:04] where it's like, he moves like an older man,

[12:07] even though he's trying to look like a younger man.

[12:08] I would, I mean, let's give him this.

[12:10] I would kill to look that good at 72.

[12:12] I mean, like he's-

[12:13] He looks better than you do now, Dan.

[12:15] Oh, well, I don't know about, I mean,

[12:18] the whole Riker thing people have been saying.

[12:19] I mean, his beard does look pretty good.

[12:22] Good point, good point.

[12:23] Yeah, Dan, you do look like Riker.

[12:24] My beard at least looks less like iron shavings.

[12:27] You look like Riker when Riker meant something.

[12:32] Thanks.

[12:33] You're right, I apologize.

[12:34] He doesn't look better than you do.

[12:35] I mean, it's an even 50-50 split.

[12:37] Thank you.

[12:38] So speaking of Travolta,

[12:41] he and Gina Gershon are at a fake looking beach.

[12:45] Do we have to mention that this is a sequel?

[12:47] Yeah, I think we should.

[12:48] So something we didn't know going into the movie.

[12:51] Well, you got started in the plot of the movie.

[12:53] I figured we should mention that the movie's a sequel.

[12:55] I didn't have a break in here where I go back and flashback.

[12:58] It's not a number, there's not a subtitle.

[13:00] And it takes a couple minutes into the movie

[13:02] to realize that this is a sequel to Tar.

[13:07] They're watching a news story about Tar

[13:11] on the beginning of the show.

[13:12] You're like, oh, this is the Tar Reverse.

[13:13] Somebody's playing, what is that, Monster Hunter?

[13:16] Monster Hunter, yeah.

[13:17] She's conducting a Monster Hunter concert.

[13:19] Oh, this does take place in the TCU.

[13:21] Oh, okay, sure, yeah.

[13:22] And then someone says,

[13:23] cancel culture's really gotten out of control.

[13:25] But I will say-

[13:26] And that's how you know.

[13:27] All joking aside,

[13:28] the experience of watching this movie

[13:30] not knowing that it is a sequel

[13:31] to a movie I've never heard of called Cash Out,

[13:35] it did make me think I was being gaslit by the movie.

[13:38] Because the characters are presented

[13:40] as if you already know who they are.

[13:42] They're referring to events that you didn't see happen.

[13:45] You don't know what's going,

[13:46] and I was like, wow, this is,

[13:48] I mean, this is pretty,

[13:50] kind of avant-garde for this low-budget movie

[13:52] that it reminds me of,

[13:54] I once had to read for,

[13:56] I worked at a company

[13:57] that was looking at different intellectual properties

[14:00] to see if they were interested in adapting them

[14:01] at this small film production company.

[14:03] And they had me read one of the Dortmunder novels,

[14:06] and it was like the 12th in the series,

[14:07] and I had never read any of them before.

[14:09] And I was like, oh, wow,

[14:10] these characters have really rich backstories.

[14:12] They're always referring to adventures they had before.

[14:15] This is like reading a Marvel comic 30 years in.

[14:18] That's what the opening of this movie is like.

[14:20] They expect the audience to be very aware

[14:22] of what happened in Cash Out,

[14:24] just fleeting references.

[14:26] They're like, you'll pick it up, you'll pick it up.

[14:27] You know this already, Cash Out is huge, yeah.

[14:29] I mean, for the most part,

[14:31] you can watch this comfortably without knowing.

[14:34] I mean, the very beginning, I think, is confusing,

[14:37] and then there's some stuff at the end where I'm like,

[14:39] oh, okay, I guess this is, again, flashing.

[14:42] But you don't have to know that much,

[14:44] but I'm gonna give you a quick summary

[14:48] based on Wikipedia.

[14:50] Ooh, okay.

[14:51] So in the first one, Travolta, who plays Mason Goddard,

[14:55] was a criminal mastermind.

[14:57] He was supposedly, at the beginning,

[14:59] you think he's unknowingly in this relationship

[15:02] with an undercover FBI agent, which is Gershon's role,

[15:06] but she was played by Kristen Davis in the first movie.

[15:09] So this is actually-

[15:10] They recast her?

[15:11] Yeah, Gershon.

[15:12] And what that teaches you is that Gina Gershon

[15:16] has a lower quote than Kristen Davis.

[15:18] That's what we can infer from that.

[15:20] Or maybe Kristen Davis was just double booked, I don't know.

[15:23] And that character's name is Amelia Decker.

[15:26] I think it's very funny that Mason,

[15:27] who is in love with this character,

[15:29] calls her Decker throughout the film.

[15:31] For most of the time, he refers to her by her last name,

[15:33] which is really funny.

[15:35] It's something that you see in other movies sometimes

[15:37] where the wife calls the husband by his last name,

[15:39] and you're like, I know everybody else does.

[15:41] It was weird for you to do that.

[15:43] But there's apparently some movie opening action incident

[15:46] where he finds out that she's FBI,

[15:48] and he retires from criminality.

[15:50] But his brother, Sean, Lucas Haas,

[15:52] convinces him to do a heist of some crypto.

[15:56] But that hard drive also has blackmail information

[15:58] for some US officials,

[16:01] which leads to a hostage situation

[16:03] where his ex is the main negotiator.

[16:04] When Lucas Haas is involved,

[16:05] it's always a hostage situation.

[16:08] So this, okay.

[16:09] So one of the several MacGuffins in this movie

[16:13] is something they call the Dirt Box.

[16:15] Is this the origin of the Dirt Box, Dan?

[16:18] Is it a box with all this blackmail stuff on it?

[16:22] I only got that at the end of the movie

[16:24] when they were like, this is the Dirt Box.

[16:27] And I'm like, what the fuck?

[16:28] Why aren't you explaining what this is?

[16:29] And then I'm like, oh, dirt, dirt, blackmail dirt.

[16:32] I get it.

[16:33] It sounds like the name of a real party animal

[16:37] you went to college with.

[16:39] Oh, Dirt Box, it's like a good time tonight.

[16:41] What's he up to?

[16:42] Oh, he's not doing so good.

[16:44] Oh yeah, Dirt Box died in a balcony collapse.

[16:48] Oh, oh, oh, Dirt Box.

[16:50] One of the better ways for Dirt Box to go.

[16:51] Let's do a whole moment of silence for Dirt Box.

[16:53] It does feel like, it's a-

[16:55] It wasn't the fall,

[16:55] it was that he fell into a bed of opossums.

[16:59] Oh, they're dangerous, savage creatures.

[17:01] That does sound like-

[17:02] Dirt Box could be Stewart's alter ego

[17:04] if you wanted to have, you know, Sasha Fierce.

[17:08] I think if we self-produced a, like,

[17:10] fifth-tier Revenge of the Nerds rip-off movie

[17:13] in another country,

[17:14] there'd be a character named Dirt Box

[17:16] who's like the booger of that movie, you know?

[17:18] Oh man, that's my dream role, guys.

[17:21] I mean, you're kind of selling me on this project.

[17:23] Where's the pussy?

[17:24] Like, they're doing Revenge of the Nerds knockoff

[17:29] in Argentina for no money.

[17:31] Stewart, will you play Dirt Box?

[17:34] Play Dirt Box or become Dirt Box?

[17:37] You're gonna do a Jared Leto method.

[17:39] And he's gonna act like Dirt Box.

[17:41] He's gonna embed himself

[17:42] with a bunch of, like, college-aged Dirt Bags.

[17:45] You know, I'm one of you guys.

[17:48] What's up, dude?

[17:49] Six, seven.

[17:51] Yeah, Dirt Box!

[17:56] Anyway, the movie has a hostage situation

[17:58] where, like, his ex-

[18:00] Yeah, Lucas Haas is in it.

[18:01] Lucas Haas.

[18:01] His ex is the main negotiator.

[18:04] And at the end of all that, Mason fakes his death.

[18:07] And there's the surprise twist at the end

[18:09] that Amelia was on Travolta's side.

[18:11] The whole time, the beginning was just a setup

[18:13] to make the FBI think she was loyal to them,

[18:15] but she was being his mole in the department.

[18:18] A mole.

[18:19] Mole.

[18:20] It's a beautiful sauce.

[18:21] Yeah, a lot of-

[18:22] Rich.

[18:23] Very rich.

[18:24] Chocolate and cinnamon.

[18:24] Very rich.

[18:27] So that's the first movie, Cash Out,

[18:29] because throughout this one, Lucas Haas keeps going-

[18:31] And we're done, guys.

[18:32] Yeah, I know.

[18:33] Lucas Haas keeps going,

[18:35] remember the crypto drive in Seattle,

[18:37] the one I was talking about?

[18:39] And it's like, they needed a little asterisk that said,

[18:41] back in Cash Out, smile and stand.

[18:43] Yeah.

[18:44] Just to tell you it's a reference.

[18:45] And you mentioned smile and stand,

[18:47] so I do want to point out that this movie is,

[18:49] the movie we're talking about, High Rollers,

[18:51] is written by kind of flophouse royalty.

[18:55] The writer was the writer and director of a movie

[18:58] called I Know Who Killed Me.

[19:00] Oh, wow.

[19:00] The first appearance of Elliot Kaelin, right?

[19:03] Or, wow.

[19:03] Yeah, on the podcast.

[19:04] I wasn't in that movie.

[19:05] Check out episode eight, Ed.

[19:09] Daffy Dan.

[19:11] Smile and stand.

[19:12] There's some other,

[19:13] there was some other flophouse connection.

[19:17] Yeah, John Travolta.

[19:18] No, that, I think-

[19:19] The fan.

[19:21] I think Ives also produced another movie

[19:24] that we did on the show.

[19:25] I'm gonna take another look real quick.

[19:26] That tracks.

[19:28] I once met a bunch of people on the road to St. Ives.

[19:33] Yeah, a lot of cats and wives.

[19:34] A lot of wives, these guys?

[19:36] Yeah, a lot of wives.

[19:37] Oh, Alex Cross, he produced, which we did.

[19:39] Quinnis, he also was a producer

[19:40] on Bad Lieutenant Portacal, New Orleans.

[19:42] That's a great movie.

[19:43] That's a great movie.

[19:44] Righteous Kill, which I think we also did.

[19:46] He was a producer on The Wicker Man.

[19:48] He was a producer on.

[19:49] So, yeah, he's done plenty of flophouse-covered stuff.

[19:53] Great.

[19:54] So, he does movies,

[19:55] but only as someone from face-off is involved.

[19:57] Yeah.

[19:58] Yeah.

[20:00] Well, speaking of face-off, so Travolta and Gershon are at this beach.

[20:05] Speaking of face-off, Dan, please stop taking your face-off.

[20:07] It's hot in here.

[20:11] They're at this beach.

[20:12] They're 37th since retirement.

[20:13] They're celebrating being successful criminals, and they're, you know, Lucas Haas is there.

[20:22] Anton is there.

[20:23] The whole family.

[20:24] The whole family.

[20:25] They're all there.

[20:26] Isn't it someone's wedding, right?

[20:27] Yeah.

[20:28] Anton, well, I'm getting there.

[20:30] I'm watching a beach wedding of people that I write down here.

[20:32] I assume we met in the first movie.

[20:34] It's Link and, what is it, like Cam or something?

[20:38] He's like a Carrie.

[20:39] Caris.

[20:40] Caris.

[20:41] So Link, who is their tech specialist.

[20:43] Which is a reference to, what, Leo Carax, the director?

[20:46] Probably.

[20:47] Yeah, I think so.

[20:48] It's the Holy Rollers.

[20:49] It's for high rollers.

[20:50] And Link is a reference to Zelda, of course.

[20:53] Right.

[20:54] So, and I think there's a couple points in this movie where you can really tell that

[20:58] it was put together by the very old.

[21:01] And I think Link is one of them, because it seems to me the logic of, like, of the logic

[21:06] of that is like, oh, she's the hacker.

[21:08] So she follows internet links.

[21:10] Like it's like calling her microchip or something.

[21:14] Anyway, there's a couple moments like that where I'm like, oh, this was thrown together

[21:18] by 70 year olds trying to make something that seemed current.

[21:22] And Caris, is he in Cash Out?

[21:24] Because the way they're talking about him, so he used to work for.

[21:27] He worked at the bank where the thing was held, that they were heisting, I guess.

[21:31] And he obviously fell in love with the hacker involved in the heist.

[21:34] Right.

[21:35] And he's played by the actor Swen Temel.

[21:37] His first name is Swen.

[21:38] Swen.

[21:39] Cool.

[21:40] He looks like a Swen.

[21:41] And according to Wikipedia, he was in the movie In Time, another flophouse cover.

[21:44] Okay.

[21:45] Yes, connections.

[21:46] We're running out of movies, guys.

[21:47] We love him.

[21:48] We've covered them all.

[21:49] Yeah.

[21:50] Anyway, this wedding.

[21:51] And you know, he, I like this guy whose backstory is like, I worked at a bank and that's like

[21:56] what he contributes to the heist crew at some point to like, show his bona fides.

[22:01] He just goes, Hey, I know finance.

[22:03] Yeah.

[22:04] There's a couple of members of this crew where I'm not quite sure what they like.

[22:08] Anton is played by Quavo.

[22:09] I'm not really sure what he does as far as he has a specialty, the way that Link does.

[22:15] He's like fun to have around.

[22:16] Yeah.

[22:17] I think Link could just take care of this whole heist.

[22:22] Link does most of the work on the heist.

[22:25] Breakout character.

[22:26] Yeah.

[22:27] But then you need a guy to explain what a Roth IRA is.

[22:31] And that's where our finance guy comes in.

[22:34] I don't know.

[22:35] Oh, boy.

[22:36] They say you need one.

[22:37] Once this heist is over, I don't think I'm going to diversify.

[22:40] Hold on.

[22:41] Hold on.

[22:42] Let me explain to you why you should.

[22:43] You have too much money in your checking account.

[22:45] It's not doing anything there.

[22:47] I want to make the money work for you.

[22:49] I know finance.

[22:50] You can't keep all the money in the dirt box.

[22:53] Spread it around.

[22:55] What?

[22:56] I have a box full of dirt.

[22:57] I put my money in there.

[22:58] Bury it.

[22:59] Bury it so that people can't find it.

[23:01] There you go.

[23:02] That's why people launder money is because it was in the dirt box.

[23:05] It's got so much dirt on it.

[23:07] They literally haven't made it out of the first scene of this movie.

[23:10] Look at how dirty this one dollar bill is.

[23:12] It looks like George Washington just stuck his face in a chocolate cake.

[23:14] What are you doing?

[23:15] Why are you keeping one dollar bills in the dirt box?

[23:18] Just put them in your pocket.

[23:19] Just put them in the pocket.

[23:20] So this wedding is.

[23:21] My dirt pocket?

[23:22] Why is your pocket full of dirt?

[23:23] This wedding.

[23:24] In case someone reaches their hand in.

[23:25] I don't want them to be able to find the money inside.

[23:26] It's actually a good idea.

[23:27] It's actually a really good idea.

[23:28] Get out of there.

[23:29] Pickpocketing is a problem.

[23:30] They made an old movie about it.

[23:31] It's called Pickpocket.

[23:32] Yeah.

[23:33] Sounds good.

[23:34] This wedding is interrupted not by an objection, but a yacht blowing up.

[23:35] Some would say that's the biggest objection.

[23:36] Yeah.

[23:37] Yeah.

[23:38] Yeah.

[23:39] If anyone does not approve of this union.

[23:40] Rochester's wife was on the yacht.

[23:41] If anyone does not approve of this union, please blow up a yacht.

[23:43] Please.

[23:44] Oh, these killer whales really don't want you to get married.

[23:45] So a bunch of gunmen working for Salazar who's the crime lord they ripped off the first movie.

[23:46] Salazar is such a classic crime oddball name.

[23:47] So it is a casual wedding.

[23:48] It's totally famous.

[23:49] And it's actually near?

[23:50] Oh, yes.

[23:51] No, no, no.

[23:52] It was a documentary casuel with two women who didn't get along.

[23:53] So you don't want to get into biquittest redundant plots that prevents the girlfriend

[23:54] from having to shoot her from the spring board.

[23:55] It's what is referred to as a only mate sure you want to go out.

[23:56] And I don't think it's safe to do that.

[23:57] And then but then we get like a serious shitty comic book bad guy name as the other bad guy

[24:22] this movie.

[24:23] And I don't want to spoil it.

[24:24] No, no, that is a that is a wonderful, terrible bad name.

[24:25] Yeah.

[24:26] Yeah.

[24:27] So these some armed people show up with fans and helicopters.

[24:28] They kidnap Amelia.

[24:29] Gina Gershon.

[24:30] There's, you know, a car.

[24:31] I was like, this better not be the end of Gina Gershon in the movie.

[24:32] I will not accept that.

[24:33] And it's a big, exciting opening.

[24:34] Like, isn't that what Netflix tells all their their filmmakers?

[24:35] They got to have a big, exciting action sequence right up top.

[24:36] And they deliver.

[24:37] You got to catch the audience's attention within the first 30 to 45 seconds.

[24:38] Yeah.

[24:39] Yeah.

[24:40] Yeah.

[24:41] Yeah.

[24:42] Yeah.

[24:43] Yeah.

[24:44] Yeah.

[24:45] Yeah.

[24:46] Yeah.

[24:47] Yeah.

[24:48] Yeah.

[24:49] Yeah.

[24:50] Yeah.

[24:51] Yeah.

[24:52] Yeah.

[24:53] Yeah.

[24:54] Yeah.

[24:55] Yeah.

[24:56] Yeah.

[24:57] Yeah.

[24:58] Yeah.

[24:59] Yeah.

[25:00] Yeah.

[25:01] Yeah.

[25:02] Yeah.

[25:03] Yeah.

[25:04] And, uh, but this car chase, could you guys follow what was going on?

[25:15] I had real trouble understanding what was happening.

[25:18] All the action scenes in this movie are incoherent.

[25:20] Before we get to the car chase, what happened?

[25:23] So they take Gina Gershon, but then all of a sudden he's just driving a car.

[25:29] Like, it's crazy.

[25:30] And they don't show him getting in, and I didn't know what car he was in for most of

[25:34] these things.

[25:35] I'm like, I assume it's this muscle car that, it's like a, you know, it's kind of like a

[25:38] Dom Toretto muscle car, uh, as opposed to a sub Toretto.

[25:42] And if they've been to all these beaches, is this like a rental?

[25:46] Yeah.

[25:47] See, I thought he was in that like van, that like black van, but maybe that's the one she

[25:51] was in.

[25:53] He might, that might've been the car he was in.

[25:55] And also it's like the guys arrived in helicopters.

[25:57] Did they leave the helicopters behind and get into the van?

[26:01] Like just stuff her in a helicopter and take off.

[26:02] He can't follow you in that.

[26:03] You don't even see the guys who are holding them at gunpoint leave.

[26:07] Just all of a sudden he's driving, he's chasing them.

[26:11] It's like memento.

[26:12] He suddenly blacked out between like, Oh, I'm in a car.

[26:15] Yeah.

[26:16] Like am I chasing them?

[26:17] Oh, they're chasing me.

[26:18] Yeah.

[26:19] If there was a time jump and he was driving a car and his clothes were covered in blood,

[26:21] I'd be like, Oh, that's kind of crazy.

[26:23] Or if there's a time jump, he's an old man in the year, in the year 2242 and he's like,

[26:29] Oh, why did the robots outlaw rock and roll?

[26:32] Yeah.

[26:33] Why didn't that happen to him?

[26:36] Cause it's too powerful, Stuart.

[26:38] You can't outlaw, you can't stop the rock.

[26:40] You cannot stop.

[26:41] Dix has already run that war game and it turns out rock and roll will find a way.

[26:46] You know, Trolls is shot at from a helicopter.

[26:48] He crashes the car.

[26:50] His 70 year old bones do not shatter.

[26:52] He goes back to find that their resources have been wiped out.

[26:56] This was all faked.

[26:57] This didn't actually happen.

[26:58] Hmm.

[26:59] Okay.

[27:00] Uh, Travolta intuits pretty quickly that this is because someone wants them to do a job

[27:05] and he goes around, uh, sort of just explain to the audience who everyone is.

[27:09] It's like, but we can do it.

[27:11] Link with your computer skills and you and the other guy.

[27:14] I actually think this movie would have been funnier if he had shattered all his bones

[27:18] and he had to do this whole heist from like a wheelchair, like in like a big body cast.

[27:23] Yeah.

[27:24] That does kind of seem like how these people are in these movies in a weird way.

[27:28] Like there, there are just shots in this movie where it's clear John Travolta is not in the

[27:32] room with anybody else.

[27:33] Like they just had, they had five days with him.

[27:36] He like ran around a warehouse for a little bit.

[27:40] Uh, but yeah, I would, I would think that at some point in one of these movies they

[27:43] have to be, and someone's in a hotel, in a hospital bed cause it like wouldn't make sense.

[27:47] How little time they have with the stars.

[27:49] I have written down here, Travolta is giving a performance like someone who was handed

[27:52] the script two minutes ago.

[27:54] Like everything he says.

[27:55] Very possible.

[27:56] Um, he's still, I'll say this from there.

[27:59] He's still charismatic.

[28:00] He's charming.

[28:01] Yeah.

[28:02] He's charismatic.

[28:03] He's got charisma.

[28:04] I don't buy him.

[28:05] I don't buy him as an intense professional criminal who is now, who is then taking on

[28:09] the role of another person to, to pull off a heist, you know, but I believe that he's

[28:15] like a silly rich guy, just like wandering into the scene, which is the character he's

[28:20] supposed to be playing.

[28:21] I guess so.

[28:22] And which is what he is, I guess.

[28:23] And really I am.

[28:24] But the fact that he doesn't seem to have like, you know, he wasn't given time to prepare

[28:28] and the lines are so stilted, like the movie feels like Pete, like the cast is trying to

[28:34] improvise an action movie often the way they say things.

[28:37] Um, it just feels like they're making it up as they go along.

[28:40] If I would say if it was, if it reached the level of improvisational mischief and delight

[28:47] of a movie like a Selene and Julie go boating, I would say that it is tapping into the childlike

[28:52] nature of play and in that they are making it as they go along, but that's not really

[28:56] the case.

[28:57] What it really does feel like is like they're, they're coming up with problems in the script

[29:00] and they're like, uh, let me say something that kind of gets around that.

[29:04] There's a, there's a moment, uh, like that, uh, that I, that I made note of.

[29:09] This is in the Gina later in the Gina Gershon story, she's like trying to escape her kidnapper

[29:14] and she like tries to like put one over on him and then ends up having to like beat people

[29:18] up and she says, can't help a girl for trying.

[29:25] I think what she was going for was you can't blame a girl for trying, but she said, I can't

[29:30] help a girl for trying.

[29:31] And they just left it in the movie.

[29:33] That would make sense.

[29:34] Like, okay.

[29:35] There's nothing in the script.

[29:36] You just have to say something, say a cliche, say, you know, uh, we've got company.

[29:42] And then they can't really remember it.

[29:44] Very fucking weird.

[29:45] And she says it and they're like, well, I don't want to say Gina Gershon is wrong.

[29:53] I would bet you that she said it and then she was like, wait, that didn't come out right.

[29:57] And they said, moving on.

[30:00] that up.

[30:01] It's fine.

[30:02] That's fine.

[30:03] That's fine.

[30:04] We're getting into golden time.

[30:05] That's a wrap for Gina Gershon, everybody.

[30:06] She's like, wait, can I just do it one more time?

[30:08] No.

[30:09] No, it's good.

[30:10] It's good.

[30:11] I'll quote her voice memo.

[30:12] I'll send it to you.

[30:13] Nope.

[30:14] Nope.

[30:15] Can't help a girl from trying.

[30:16] One of my favorite inexplicable things.

[30:17] Can't try a grip for lopping.

[30:18] Yeah, it's good.

[30:19] It's good.

[30:20] Just keep it.

[30:21] Yeah.

[30:22] Let me power through to this first very inexplicable thing in this movie.

[30:28] It's confirmed that they're, you know, wanted for this, uh, this job.

[30:32] They get a call, uh, they go to their hotel to check out, I guess, and the FBI agents

[30:37] are there.

[30:38] They give chase and they all escape by jumping fully clothed into a pool to reach the other

[30:44] side.

[30:45] I'm like, there's no way that that's the only way you can get to the other side of this

[30:49] fucking.

[30:50] Also, the idea that is the other side of the pool outside the FBI's jurisdiction.

[30:53] How are they?

[30:54] It's just so unclear how this helps them to escape a team of FBI agents and they give

[30:59] the impression that this jump into the pool is dangerous, but the way it's shot is very

[31:04] close up.

[31:05] So you have no idea how far they're jumping.

[31:08] They don't show them in relation to the pool.

[31:09] I'm sure in actuality they just jumped off the diving board that was at the hotel.

[31:13] It looks like they jumped off the side of the pool.

[31:16] Yeah.

[31:17] That's why it doesn't make any sense.

[31:18] Wait, you have to go through the pool to get to the other side of the pool.

[31:20] Let me introduce you to an idea called walking around.

[31:24] It's like little kid logic where you're like, no, no, no, the rules are otherwise you step

[31:28] on lava and you die.

[31:31] They're trying to replicate butch casting in the Senate's case, jumping off a cliff

[31:35] into a river to get away from guys.

[31:38] But it's just the side of a pool into a pool.

[31:40] And then I didn't understand.

[31:41] I don't.

[31:42] I was so baffled by this.

[31:43] I was like, how did this help them escape?

[31:45] I don't understand.

[31:46] Like the FBI is like, hey, they're all wet.

[31:48] I don't want to touch them.

[31:49] But also in the very next shot where they're running to the car, they're completely dry.

[31:53] Dry.

[31:54] They ran really fast.

[31:55] Yeah.

[31:56] They ran through the last stage of a car wash and those huge blower fans destroyed the monitor.

[32:02] It is it.

[32:03] This is it.

[32:04] Yeah.

[32:05] This was a little kid logic.

[32:06] Like, yeah, we jumped in a pool.

[32:07] So we're safe.

[32:08] Right.

[32:09] Ten minutes in the movie.

[32:10] And I was like, hell, yeah.

[32:11] I was like, I was like, this movie expects me to know who all these characters are already.

[32:17] I saw a car chase.

[32:18] I did not understand.

[32:20] I don't know how they got away from the FBI this way.

[32:22] Like it's it's it is the movie is making it very easy on the heroes and very hard on the

[32:26] viewer.

[32:27] Yeah.

[32:28] So they all take a plane somewhere and I do like watching them all like like clown car

[32:34] out of the littlest private jet.

[32:37] And they're getting a briefing about this job that they're being blackmailed into in

[32:41] a plane hangar.

[32:42] And what it is, they're supposed to rob.

[32:44] They're being.

[32:45] And here's my name.

[32:46] That's Stuart.

[32:47] Hold on.

[32:49] Hold on, Stuart.

[32:50] I don't want to stir it.

[32:51] Tease before Zade Black.

[32:52] They got a black Zade Black.

[32:53] They like shrimping magnate.

[32:54] You know, they're like evil wrestler name.

[32:55] They're being told this by Mr. Flowers, who works for Salazar.

[32:56] And Mr. Flowers is like, you've got to you've got to rob Zade Black.

[32:57] And it's so funny.

[32:58] It's like, yeah, he made his money in shrimping.

[32:59] He owned a shrimp factory and then he bought a casino.

[33:00] And you will find out later in the movie, the casino and the shrimp factory are right

[33:01] next to each other.

[33:02] And are connected by like a tunnel.

[33:03] It's funny.

[33:04] It's funny.

[33:05] It's funny.

[33:06] It's funny.

[33:07] It's funny.

[33:08] It's funny.

[33:09] It's funny.

[33:10] It's funny.

[33:18] And there's a but it's got to smell better than a place where seafood is processed.

[33:31] I feel like the the like Paul of cigarette smoke would cover the shrimp.

[33:36] Yeah.

[33:38] I know is the one thing that smells worse than a shrimp.

[33:39] All right.

[33:40] I have to turn it around.

[33:41] Do you want your factory where you are processing food to be full of these smells of people

[33:46] smoking cigarettes inside a casino?

[33:47] No, of course.

[33:48] Crying.

[33:49] Yeah.

[33:50] So there's a pretty there's a pretty cool scene where like flowers is explaining the

[33:54] shrimp magnate.

[33:55] And he's like, this guy made his money in shrimp, barbecue, shrimp, shrimp, salad, sandwich,

[34:01] shrimp.

[34:02] I'm trying to get this movie over 85 minutes.

[34:08] And that was that was that was the reason why they then put out the very successful

[34:11] flowers, gum, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp,

[34:15] You guys ever think of flowers, gum, shrimp.

[34:17] Do you guys ever think it's weird that there's an actual restaurant, the Bubba Gum Shrimp

[34:21] Company?

[34:22] Yes, it's a restaurant based on one movie.

[34:27] For that one movie, a movie that came out 32 years ago.

[34:31] Those restaurants are still growing strong.

[34:33] And it's not like that's the main thing you walk out of Forrest Gump thinking about is

[34:36] shrimp.

[34:37] The movie's not about shrimp.

[34:39] Like it's me and my wife, Mike.

[34:40] She really likes shrimp.

[34:41] OK, well, that's fair.

[34:42] That's fair.

[34:43] Has anyone ever watched Forrest Gump on their phone while in that restaurant?

[34:48] Probably, yeah.

[34:50] They call it Gump-gooning.

[34:51] I wouldn't advise it, yeah.

[34:53] Is it like when you go to a Margaritaville, they're playing live performances by Jimmy

[34:57] Buffett.

[34:58] Are they constantly playing Forrest Gump and such?

[35:01] Yeah, they're playing like you have a fortunate son.

[35:04] You're in Vietnam now.

[35:05] I've been to a Bubba Gump embarrassingly recently, and I can say, yeah, it is.

[35:09] How are the doughboys?

[35:11] Shamefully, I just went to eat, not to talk about it on a podcast.

[35:15] What's the point?

[35:16] I just went because I needed food and had a really good time.

[35:21] So wait, hold on.

[35:22] In this briefing, I want to call out a part that I thought was...

[35:24] Wait, one last thing I want to say about Bubba Gump shrimp, which is they are missing something.

[35:29] When the servers give you the specials, they need to deliver it the way Bubba does when

[35:33] he talks about shrimp.

[35:34] They should say it that way.

[35:35] Oh, yeah.

[35:36] So they're really missing out.

[35:37] Anyway, they're leaving money on the table.

[35:38] Dan, what were you going to say?

[35:40] Well, in this briefing scene, Link proves her bona fides by being able to unblur the

[35:46] camera footage better than the guy giving the briefing.

[35:50] And then Travolta says, can you use this tech to make us new identities?

[35:54] And she says, fuck yeah.

[35:55] This tech?

[35:56] This guy's laptop?

[35:57] This tech?

[35:58] Like a computer?

[35:59] Yes, certainly.

[36:00] Yeah, I can do that.

[36:01] This movie is written and made entirely by people whose grandkids have to help them unlock

[36:10] their computers.

[36:11] Like, yeah, it just reeks of that.

[36:13] But later on, later on, they have the technology.

[36:15] She's doing the motion smoothing off.

[36:18] You're looking at it in the wrong aspect ratio.

[36:20] Oh, that's why.

[36:21] And then John Travolta says to Link, can you help me watch Landman?

[36:26] How do I watch Landman?

[36:30] Is this where I get it?

[36:32] This is hitting too close to home.

[36:34] Literally this weekend, I have to call my mother-in-law so that I can walk her through

[36:37] inputting our passwords for streaming services so that she can have them again.

[36:41] What time does Yellowstone start?

[36:45] No, it's streaming, Dad.

[36:46] You don't have to wait for it.

[36:47] You don't have to.

[36:48] You can do this.

[36:49] Watch it whenever you want.

[36:50] 8 o'clock?

[36:51] Is it on at 8 o'clock?

[36:52] Do I canvo it?

[36:53] So we meet everyone in their new identities.

[36:55] And one of these new identities...

[36:56] Do I have to...

[36:57] Is it on an email?

[36:58] Is Yellowstone in an email?

[36:59] No.

[37:00] One of these new identities is Kai Ritchie, which sounds too much like Guy Ritchie.

[37:04] Yes, I don't understand.

[37:06] It's Guy Ritchie's martial arts pseudonym.

[37:12] Travolta's name is Donovan Cage.

[37:14] And I wonder whether that was a shout-out to Nick Cage because of the face-off connection

[37:17] with Gershon being there.

[37:19] Wait a minute.

[37:20] Donovan Cage is a real-life billionaire, Jan.

[37:22] And the face-off connection with John Travolta.

[37:24] I said that.

[37:25] With Travolta and Gershon being there.

[37:27] All right.

[37:28] And you just mentioned Gershon.

[37:29] I thought...

[37:30] But also, Donovan Cage, I think, is actually a tip-off to the folk singer Donovan.

[37:34] Elliot was so excited to interrupt you, he didn't let you.

[37:38] I think that even if I didn't say Travolta, the fact that I've been talking about Travolta

[37:41] the whole time, it can be assumed that I have clocked that Travolta was one of the ones...

[37:46] I don't assume anything.

[37:47] I assume nothing.

[37:48] ...whose face came off.

[37:49] I'm like Mason Goddard.

[37:50] I assume nothing.

[37:51] He was a titular face-off.

[37:52] Is his last name Goddard?

[37:53] I forgot his last name.

[37:54] Yeah, he's named after the rocket pioneer, Goddard.

[37:58] There's scenes of them being cool in the casino, I guess.

[38:01] There's a lot of them walking around in suits, looking at casinos.

[38:04] And it is...

[38:05] This is one of those movies which is presented as if people still think casinos are the coolest

[38:11] places you could possibly be.

[38:13] Like Rat Pack, Sinatra, casinos, Vegas, when I feel like America has moved on from that

[38:19] idea of what a casino is.

[38:20] There's a lot of shots of the exterior of the casino or them walking through, and the

[38:23] music sounds very much like menu music from one of the Persona games.

[38:29] Stewart, I have written down the music.

[38:32] The music sounds like the character select screen from Marvel vs. Capcom.

[38:39] Slightly different takes on the music.

[38:44] And also, so they set up this casino they're going to as a playground for the rich and famous.

[38:50] Oh, it's super lux.

[38:51] But the one they're shooting at, it just looks like a nice Hilton.

[38:54] It just looks like a nice Hilton that costs like 300 bucks a night and is close to the airport.

[38:59] It doesn't look like a bad hotel, but there's like, this is where the rich and famous go

[39:04] to do their dirty deeds.

[39:07] This is just a hotel near the airport.

[39:10] When they go to Zade's private penthouse or whatever, yeah, it just looks like a nice

[39:16] hotel room.

[39:18] It's not as nice as Kevin McAllister's hotel room in Home Alone 2 in Boston, New York.

[39:23] So the hotel room they give this whale billionaire gambler character is like smaller than the

[39:30] hotel room I got upgraded to at the Planet Hollywood because I was only staying one night.

[39:37] Speaking of that room, it's the room right below the penthouse because they're trying

[39:40] to figure out how they could heist, possibly from below, but that doesn't work out.

[39:44] Meanwhile, Gershon is being treated well by Salazar, a kidnapper.

[39:49] They're drinking champagne.

[39:51] He's answering about how he's actually never personally killed anyone directly, but she

[39:56] has.

[39:57] So who's the true monster here?

[40:00] We get a scene of Zade Black. Some real John Kramer logic from the Saw series.

[40:07] As opposed to Kramer from Seinfeld logic, which would be like, I killed him, Jerry!

[40:13] Kramer vs. Kramer. You wanna play a game, Jerry?

[40:19] This game? Whoa!

[40:23] Why would you call it a game when it's very serious?

[40:27] There's no fun being had. No one's playing.

[40:30] Why are you leaving notes for the cops?

[40:33] Just don't leave them little clues that they can figure out.

[40:37] Why are you waiting in the room the whole time pretending to be a dead body?

[40:42] Who's gonna do that?

[40:45] I gotta make him appreciate life, Jerry.

[40:50] Meanwhile...

[40:51] George, George, there's a bomb strapped to your wrist.

[40:54] You either gotta shoot that guy first or dig the key out from his gut.

[40:58] Why do you do this to me?

[41:01] It's supposed to be the summer of George!

[41:04] He's literally killing Independent George.

[41:09] Meanwhile...

[41:12] I wanna see Jigfeld or Seinsaw or whatever it would be called.

[41:18] It got changed to Jigsaw at Ellis Island.

[41:23] Jerry, I can't believe you're telling me this isn't a great idea.

[41:27] I don't just kill people, I put them through game scenarios.

[41:30] Everyone has fun! It's great!

[41:33] My Kramer and my Seinsaw are very close together.

[41:36] I have to figure out how to do them separately.

[41:38] In contrast to Salazar, Mr. Black is not afraid to get his hands dirty.

[41:42] He puts out a cigar in the eye of some dude who's been skimming.

[41:45] Then stabs him in the neck.

[41:47] So he's bad.

[41:48] Just to show what a bad guy he is.

[41:50] And he meets Travolta, a.k.a. High Roller Donovan Cage.

[41:56] And they have a little good guy, bad guy sit down.

[42:00] And Travolta gets an invite to one of his epic poker games that they do.

[42:06] And there's a weird conversation with Haas about how he's counting on Haas for protection.

[42:12] And during this back and forth between these characters who are brothers,

[42:15] I swear they do not look at each other's eyes once.

[42:19] They seem to be avoiding looking at one another as actors.

[42:23] Now here's the thing also.

[42:24] John Travolta is 22 years older than Lucas Haas.

[42:28] So you think they have different parents?

[42:30] Or Lucas Haas' character was just the ultimate surprise?

[42:33] You know, the ultimate surprise baby?

[42:36] That's a good question.

[42:37] Pretty bad surprise.

[42:38] I mean my oldest brother is 13 years older than me.

[42:41] So add nine years.

[42:43] Add almost a decade to that difference.

[42:45] I mean I think this is all going to be covered in the prequel movie that they're going to put out.

[42:49] Of young Mason played by the same actor.

[42:52] Yeah.

[42:53] It's like Boss Baby but they're criminals.

[42:55] Yeah, yeah.

[42:56] Well, the upshot of that conversation for the heist.

[42:59] Crime Boss Baby it would be called.

[43:01] That Link, thank you, is able to lift some prints from the glass that Zayd was drinking from.

[43:07] So they can make a fake hand for the security.

[43:10] Yeah.

[43:11] This is something I want to point out.

[43:12] Link and Karis are constantly going undercover as employees at the hotel.

[43:16] No one at the hotel seems to recognize these are people they've never seen before who are suddenly working there.

[43:22] Until the very end of the movie.

[43:24] But like Link will just put on a series of different wigs.

[43:26] And she's working at the bar.

[43:29] She's working at the front desk.

[43:30] It's like does nobody recognize this is not a person who works here?

[43:34] They're the most busted ass dry fake wigs.

[43:37] And there's a scene where she – there's a very like dramatic scene later on where she confronts Karis for like betraying them.

[43:44] And she does the whole thing in this horrible wig.

[43:46] And I'm like the fucking queens on Drag Race would read her to fucking kill for this shit.

[43:51] I wouldn't be surprised if this movie was partially bankrolled by Spirit Halloween.

[43:55] And they're just like you have to use our wigs.

[43:57] You have to use our $5 discount wigs.

[44:01] When she is undercover as a bartender, she does pour a martini and then sits in the back because I wasn't paying attention to what was happening in the foreground.

[44:09] I was just watching the bartender.

[44:10] Of course.

[44:11] And she was like wiping the outside of the shaker.

[44:14] Bartenders wipe stuff.

[44:17] That's what bartenders do.

[44:19] They wipe things.

[44:21] That's why they always got a little towel on their shoulder or whatever.

[44:24] The funniest thing about it is that like bartenders never did that until non-bartender Ted Danson started doing it.

[44:31] Yeah, because he just thought he's like, yeah, I should do something with my hands.

[44:34] So he put this on his shoulder.

[44:36] And I know bartenders who do that still.

[44:38] But nobody ever did it before because like why would you put a wet rag on your shirt?

[44:45] Meanwhile, the feds are also going to converge on this casino.

[44:48] They've heard that the gang has been spotted there.

[44:52] Salazar is sending cameras so he can watch the whole heist go down.

[44:56] I would love to see the FBI briefing where they're like, OK, this time, guys, I want to remind you, those pools are filled with water, just normal H2O.

[45:05] It is not an acid of any kind.

[45:07] It's not a poison.

[45:08] You do not have to be afraid of the pool.

[45:10] You don't have to stand back.

[45:11] If they go through the pool and they get out the other side, it's not because they are wearing magic rings or other sort of artifacts that give them the ability to survive.

[45:19] You need to write this down.

[45:27] The leader of the FBI tells the FBI would be like, guys, I already said on Twitter that we caught Mason Goddard.

[45:33] And how you made me look like an idiot.

[45:35] Now I got to go on Twitter and apologize to Kim Kardashian that I was wrong about that.

[45:40] Yeah, the the leader of the FBI agents is Agent Richter, who is played by an actor who looks a lot like if Josh Charles was like starring in one of those testosterone ads that play on cable TV.

[45:51] I kept thinking it was Josh Charles that I would look again and be like, oh, wait, never mind.

[45:54] Yeah, Link.

[45:55] Link has a little bit of a squinting at Sidney Sweeney quality to her.

[45:59] Yeah, I did.

[46:00] Yes, sir.

[46:01] For almost one second.

[46:02] I'm like, oh, they got.

[46:03] Oh, no.

[46:04] OK, never mind.

[46:05] She's like Russian.

[46:06] OK.

[46:08] So and I couldn't.

[46:09] At first I was like, is she doing an Eastern European accent or is that her regular accent?

[46:14] I think it's just a regular accent.

[46:15] I think it's a regular accent that she's mostly lost.

[46:19] Yeah, it's tough to say if she's trying to, like, be American or where.

[46:22] I mean, you know, no one knowing it's any backstory.

[46:25] I'm sure they did it all in whatever the first movie was.

[46:27] But yeah, I link and where she is from is is a mystery.

[46:32] And I'm going to say I'm going to say just because it has to be made a point made in this in the times we live in.

[46:37] You can have an accent and still be an American.

[46:39] You know, that's that's something that it doesn't qualify you from being an American citizen.

[46:43] You know.

[46:44] Yeah.

[46:46] Wow.

[46:47] You're letting me talk and I'm not prepared because I was like, oh, they'll they'll keep yapping.

[46:52] I was going to see.

[46:53] We can do more Seinfeld jigsaw stuff.

[46:56] I want to do a little Seinfeld Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

[46:59] Yeah.

[47:00] It was OK to date a 17 year old, Jerry.

[47:02] I was confirming I was confirming what I had thought that like this act.

[47:08] This actor's name is Natalia.

[47:10] You're so she's probably you're a lesser.

[47:13] Her actual accent.

[47:14] What?

[47:15] Yes, I think that is her actual accent.

[47:17] So anyway.

[47:19] Yeah.

[47:20] Charles doesn't want these cameras.

[47:21] Why do they call him Jigsaw?

[47:23] He doesn't do puzzles.

[47:25] He gives people puzzles, but they're not jigsaw puzzles.

[47:29] Why do they call it a jigsaw?

[47:30] Do you dance while you cut things with it?

[47:33] Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, we call these things.

[47:37] Jerry, we've tied you to the wheel of the 67 Corvette and it's about to fill with hot coffee.

[47:45] I chose to be tortured by the 67 Corvette because it's a classic car.

[47:49] Stylish, powerful.

[47:50] You got to love it.

[47:51] We love it.

[47:52] We love it.

[47:53] When rich guys tell you, I took Jigsaw out to the to the to the corner cafe to talk about how we do things.

[47:58] So how did you get into torturing people?

[48:01] Well, you know, when I was young, I didn't even realize this was a job you could have.

[48:08] Yeah, he doesn't want these.

[48:10] Who? Jigsaw?

[48:11] I mean, the problem is, like, every time you actually give me space to talk, I'm like, OK, well, they're going to be on this for a while.

[48:17] Let me look at something.

[48:18] Let me read my head.

[48:20] We're just keeping you on your toes, Dan.

[48:22] Uh-huh.

[48:23] All nine of them.

[48:24] Maybe just warn me when you decide to continue.

[48:28] I think we're at the epic poker game, right?

[48:30] Yeah.

[48:31] They've they've they've they've called.

[48:33] Travolta has agreed to enter this epic poker game and that's going to find the safe.

[48:38] She and she's been he's been flirting with with what's her name?

[48:42] Bella. Is that it?

[48:43] I'm back at it.

[48:44] Let me get to it.

[48:45] OK, so on this phone call, there's these babysitting cameras that are coming over.

[48:49] And also we learn that Zeta Salazar's brother.

[48:52] This is the important piece of information that is in this phone call.

[48:55] Without it, the movie doesn't make any sense.

[48:59] Yeah. And Bella, the casino director you mentioned is like everything's got to be perfect tonight for the game.

[49:04] But they make a big deal about how her young nephew Ruben is there because, like, I guess the mom or whoever takes care of this person has an emergency.

[49:12] They have to go and they make it like it's going to play into things.

[49:16] This never means anything off for anything.

[49:19] It really doesn't.

[49:20] There's one point where Ruben sees Travolta, like, go out of a door that he shouldn't have gone out and doesn't say anything about it.

[49:27] And that's the closest it comes to paying off.

[49:29] This has big.

[49:30] One of the producers has a kid.

[49:32] Yeah.

[49:33] To be in the movie energy, you know, and at some point.

[49:35] Yeah, at some point.

[49:36] So they go, let's go.

[49:37] Let's get that.

[49:38] It's not bad.

[49:39] The kid is actually I think he's really funny in it.

[49:40] Like he's just because the thing is, the kid is expressing the entire time disinterest in everything that is going on.

[49:46] He does not care.

[49:47] He does not want to be there.

[49:48] And I think he does a really good job pulling it off in a way.

[49:50] And like all kids his age, he's obsessed with his Microsoft Surface.

[49:54] We all know these kids playing with their Microsoft Surface.

[50:00] in the thing, oh, it's just there for the...

[50:02] A note about Bella, who I think is very good,

[50:05] and she's a real age-appropriate babe.

[50:07] I do kind of appreciate that the babes in this movie

[50:10] are the age of their male counterparts.

[50:15] And Bella is great, but points toward this movie

[50:20] was made completely by old people.

[50:21] Whenever she has to talk to her,

[50:26] like the guy she's in a relationship with,

[50:28] she calls him Deer.

[50:32] She's like, let's get this epic poker game together, Deer.

[50:37] A rattling sexual tension.

[50:40] You know that Link and Charis are young

[50:41] because they call each other babe.

[50:43] Babe.

[50:43] Yeah, they do.

[50:44] Yeah, they're like an annoying couple

[50:45] yelling at each other at a Whole Foods.

[50:49] So the team discovers...

[50:50] Do we have to get the organic kale?

[50:52] It's like a dollar more.

[50:54] Do you want stuffed olives?

[50:55] Babe!

[50:55] Stuffed olives, babe!

[50:59] What you don't know is that he went there

[51:00] with Babe the Blue Ox.

[51:02] Right.

[51:02] Because they're planning a surprise party for Paul Bunyan.

[51:04] Babe the Pig is also there.

[51:06] Yeah, and Babe Ruth, yeah.

[51:08] Are you talking to me?

[51:10] No.

[51:11] What about me, the babe?

[51:12] John Goodman, you just played the babe in one movie.

[51:15] You're not actually Babe Ruth.

[51:16] Where am I?

[51:17] Oh, John Goodman.

[51:18] No.

[51:20] Poor guy.

[51:22] He truly was a good man.

[51:24] He truly was a good man.

[51:26] The team discovers...

[51:29] As long as he doesn't turn into his alter ego,

[51:32] John Badman, when he gets hit on the head.

[51:36] Gets a beard, gets a pointy beard.

[51:43] Badman meat dirt box.

[51:46] And then, of course, there's John Bad Ham.

[51:48] Oh, yeah.

[51:49] You don't want to eat his ham.

[51:51] No.

[51:51] No, it's spoiled rotten, yeah.

[51:54] So the team discovers...

[51:55] And, of course, anyway, never mind.

[51:58] There's a fly in the ointment.

[51:59] There's a second safe.

[52:00] So they don't know where the thing they want is.

[52:02] Their plans are disarrayed.

[52:04] They have to hit both safes simultaneously for safety for some reason.

[52:08] But I'll take...

[52:09] The safe is in the name, the word safety.

[52:10] I get it.

[52:12] Well, I mean, it's interesting.

[52:14] I get the idea of you hit them both at the same time.

[52:17] So if something goes wrong, if an alarm goes off or whatever,

[52:20] there's not maybe there's not going to be a second chance

[52:24] if you don't hit them simultaneously.

[52:25] I get it on that level.

[52:26] Later on, they act like, oh, we both have to put our hands on the thing

[52:30] at the exact same time.

[52:31] I'm like, why?

[52:35] They would shut the thing down.

[52:36] It's like the same guy.

[52:37] They'd be like, no, someone's trying to do it.

[52:41] I guess the thing they left out is that Zayd, the bad guy,

[52:44] has Mr. Fantastic powers.

[52:45] So he can stretch his arms all the way across through multiple rooms.

[52:49] But it is funny that they're setting it up for suspense

[52:52] when it's totally meaningless to do it at the exact same time.

[52:54] Yeah, and there's also the ticking clock of a guy who knows

[52:59] the real Donovan Cage is going to be showing up.

[53:02] Yeah, the famous Chaz Antonelli.

[53:05] And they mention his name so many times before he shows up,

[53:08] like Chaz Antonelli, our good friend.

[53:09] Oh, yeah, Chaz Antonelli.

[53:11] We see him arriving in a plane around this point.

[53:14] But right before that, what we see is Mason, Sean and Anton

[53:18] walking down the hall to Take Five by Dave Brubeck.

[53:21] Nothing cooler.

[53:22] That's the one recognizable music drop in this is Dave Brubeck's Take Five.

[53:28] And it's because John Travolta says they were playing jazz tonight.

[53:30] Playing jazz.

[53:31] They're just going to improvise their way out of this dilemma.

[53:35] We've talked about how large the crew is.

[53:38] And in charge.

[53:39] And after that opening action sequence,

[53:42] I feel like at all times the crew greatly outnumbers the bad guy.

[53:46] There's almost never a time where there's fewer crew than there are bad guys.

[53:52] Yes.

[53:52] Which makes the threat feel less intense.

[53:54] And they all have a job.

[53:56] Mason, he's the front man.

[53:57] He's going to con his way in and pretend to be a billionaire so he can get close to Zayne.

[54:02] Suave, charming.

[54:03] No one plays cards.

[54:05] Sean, he's the safe cracker.

[54:06] He's going to pretend that he's like Mason's bodyguard,

[54:09] who is also playing poker for some reason.

[54:11] But he's going to crack the safe.

[54:12] Link, she's doing the tech stuff.

[54:14] Uh, Karis, he's, I'm not sure.

[54:17] Helping out Link.

[54:18] Uh, Quave, Quavo, Anton, he's, I don't know.

[54:22] Uh, and Hector, he's like, he's around.

[54:27] I guess he's going to set up, he's going to set up a distraction at some point.

[54:30] It's, I guess if they've made it clear what everybody's doing.

[54:33] Because Anton just pretends to be another person at the hotel,

[54:37] who then is going to take part in this fancy,

[54:39] another guest who's going to take part in this fancy poker game.

[54:41] But he doesn't do anything after that.

[54:44] He's just filling out the game, you know.

[54:45] I want to take this moment to give this movie some very faint praise,

[54:49] in that like, at least...

[54:51] No one was killed while making it, that we know of.

[54:54] So it's got one up on John Landis.

[54:56] They're very simple complications.

[54:58] There is actually an in-memoriam at the end, though.

[55:00] Oh, yeah.

[55:00] But I think that's where I am.

[55:02] Oh, I don't think he died in the line of making the movie,

[55:05] but I'm sure, but you're right.

[55:06] There's an in-memoriam.

[55:08] Even though they're like kind of basic complications,

[55:10] the movie, you know, is like taking the time to be like,

[55:14] okay, you know, like this is a heist movie.

[55:16] We got to have complications arise.

[55:18] Like, oh, there's two safes.

[55:19] Like, we got to deal with that now.

[55:20] Oh, there's a guy who knows what the guy that Travolta

[55:24] is pretending to be looks like on his way.

[55:25] We got to take him.

[55:26] Like, I appreciate that they don't execute these all that well,

[55:31] but I appreciate that there's some...

[55:32] I'll agree with you, Dan.

[55:34] I'll agree with you.

[55:34] They are trying to...

[55:35] I would call this a relaxed fit heist movie.

[55:38] I think that it's like there are complications,

[55:40] but they get over them pretty easily.

[55:43] You're never really in any doubt that they're going to pull it off,

[55:46] but you're right that they are at least introducing things

[55:49] that could get in their way.

[55:50] Yeah, just like how I feel when I put on a nice pair

[55:52] of relaxed fit Levi's jeans.

[55:54] I always think I'll be able to get them off again.

[55:56] Now, I do want to point out, we're talking about...

[55:58] Promo code flop at checkout.

[56:00] Thank you.

[56:07] Since we're talking about everybody's specialized roles and skills,

[56:10] I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about one of my favorite elements of the movie

[56:14] where during this high-stakes poker game,

[56:16] they make a big deal saying how they brought these master mixologists

[56:20] into the suite.

[56:21] Yes.

[56:23] These are the best bartenders in the world, they say.

[56:26] And of course, this mainly is to set up Lucas Haas' character

[56:30] where they're like, do you want anything?

[56:32] And he just orders a beer.

[56:34] There's not much of a joke there.

[56:35] They just keep asking for beer.

[56:37] And then later on...

[56:37] Yeah, go on.

[56:39] And then there's the moment where she's like,

[56:42] you should try something other than a beer.

[56:43] And he's like, what should I get?

[56:44] And she thinks for a second and she goes,

[56:47] how about a Cuba Libre, a rum and coke?

[56:49] Yeah, this is the funny moment.

[56:51] The funny question I'm too worried about.

[56:54] There's a very specific bartending thing that I was scoffing at.

[56:58] I'm like, she's making fun.

[56:59] We got this great cocktail guy here, order a cocktail.

[57:02] And he's like, okay, what do you suggest?

[57:03] A Cuba Libre?

[57:04] I'm like, that's a fucking rum and coke.

[57:07] Did the writer of this not know that?

[57:08] They're just like, oh, it's a fancy sounding name.

[57:10] I think that's probably what happened, yeah.

[57:12] Oh my God, it's so funny.

[57:15] When obviously that guy who's drinking, just give him an old-fashioned.

[57:19] That's what guys always want.

[57:22] Stu, I like that.

[57:22] Maybe it's smoked old-fashioned because that's what old guys like.

[57:26] Give him something with pickle juice in it if you're a mixologist.

[57:29] Do something out of the ordinary.

[57:30] Give him a Dirty Gertie.

[57:32] Yeah, look at how it looks like he'd enjoy some pickles.

[57:35] Sure, but for Stuart, this is for you what the guy,

[57:38] what the paleontologist in Jurassic World saying mosasaurs were dinosaurs is for me.

[57:42] Where you're like, come on, what are you doing?

[57:45] Yeah, because my career as a bar owner and bartender

[57:50] is similar to your career as a paleontologist.

[57:52] Very much so, very much so.

[57:54] So we're at this epic poker game, which is, you know,

[57:58] God knows there's nothing more thrilling than watching scripted card play.

[58:02] God, and they don't show you anyone's card.

[58:04] So you can't even get invested in it.

[58:07] There's a way to do a suspenseful scene where you see someone's hand

[58:11] and you see if they're bluffing or not.

[58:12] And they just like, they don't show you any cards ever.

[58:15] There's one moment where you see that someone is like palmed an ace.

[58:18] But that's the only time.

[58:20] Zay Black.

[58:21] Zay Black.

[58:21] Yeah, but I think, but it is a,

[58:25] I could not tell if we were supposed to be watching a game

[58:27] or just a montage of different games.

[58:29] Like they're not trying to, they're not trying to create suspense.

[58:32] I mean, maybe they thought they were, but you just,

[58:33] it's just a series of people saying, I raise, I call, I raise, I call.

[58:38] And I was like, this, I, there's not, there's no way to keep track of what's going on.

[58:42] It doesn't matter.

[58:42] Who cares?

[58:43] It's a waste of time.

[58:44] But during the scene, we do learn that Bella used to be with Salazar,

[58:47] perhaps the root of this feud between brothers.

[58:52] Link drops by pretending to be Cage's executive assistant.

[58:56] Sorry.

[58:57] This is the funniest of her wigs.

[58:58] To drop off the second fake glove, fake fingerprint.

[59:04] She's wearing, I think it's the same,

[59:05] it might be the same wig that Natalie Portman is wearing

[59:07] when she is a stripper in the movie Closer.

[59:09] Oh yeah.

[59:12] They got to make their move.

[59:13] Gaz is on the way.

[59:13] Stolen from a planet, Hollywood.

[59:15] Yeah, the real heist was busting it out of the planet, Hollywood.

[59:19] Yeah.

[59:20] This was the most famous movie prop of all time.

[59:24] No, not Rosebud the sled, Natalie Portman stripper wig.

[59:29] Which fucking planet of Hollywood is Rosebud in?

[59:32] I mean, Rosebud, not a joke, is at the Academy Museum.

[59:35] Oh, is it?

[59:36] In Los Angeles, because it's owned by Steven Spielberg.

[59:38] And so he lent it to, it's a Rosebud that was made as a duplicate for the movie

[59:42] in case they needed to burn it another time and they did not need to.

[59:45] So it's not the one from the, it's not screen,

[59:48] it's not the screen used prop, it is screen accurate.

[59:51] Anyway, that's a little bit of actual clarification there.

[59:54] But imagine them just sending the real John Travolta into planet Hollywood

[59:57] and being like, yeah, can I take a look at that?

[59:59] And he puts it on.

[1:00:00] his head and runs away.

[1:00:01] Yeah, yeah, well some music like,

[1:00:02] doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo,

[1:00:04] plays in the background.

[1:00:05] It's basically every heist from the movie,

[1:00:06] The Master of Disguise.

[1:00:07] Take your four-wheel ride!

[1:00:08] Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo!

[1:00:09] So, it really is the Marvel vs. Capcom

[1:00:11] of characters like Street.

[1:00:14] That would be the funny, like,

[1:00:17] unbearable weight of massive talent

[1:00:19] version of this movie, is them having,

[1:00:21] the actual John Travolta having to heist

[1:00:23] props from the last planet, Hollywood,

[1:00:26] so that they can use in this movie.

[1:00:28] He remembers that he stole a diamond

[1:00:30] when he was making Stayin' Alive,

[1:00:32] and he hid it inside of his costume,

[1:00:34] and now they're-

[1:00:35] He remembers.

[1:00:36] The last planet, Hollywood, is being sold,

[1:00:40] and he's gotta get in there and get it

[1:00:41] before they demolish the place?

[1:00:43] I don't know.

[1:00:44] Honestly, this is good.

[1:00:45] That's a good one.

[1:00:46] That's actually pretty good.

[1:00:47] That should be a movie.

[1:00:49] And you call it Stealing Hollywood

[1:00:50] or something like that?

[1:00:51] Yes!

[1:00:52] Yeah, yeah.

[1:00:53] Planet Heistywood?

[1:00:54] Planet Heisty, yeah,

[1:00:55] Planet Heistywood is good.

[1:00:56] Let's go to lunch.

[1:00:57] Chaz is coming,

[1:00:58] so they gotta make their move,

[1:01:00] and this is very funny to me,

[1:01:02] that their distraction,

[1:01:04] so they can make a move,

[1:01:05] is that Hector outside

[1:01:06] sets off a bunch of fireworks,

[1:01:08] and all of these hardened,

[1:01:10] high-rolling gamblers are like,

[1:01:11] Hey, there's fireworks in the window!

[1:01:13] Let's all go look at them!

[1:01:15] They leave the game,

[1:01:16] and Bella says,

[1:01:17] Reuben, Reuben, look, fireworks!

[1:01:18] And the kid is like,

[1:01:19] Wah.

[1:01:20] Like, doesn't care.

[1:01:21] Doesn't care.

[1:01:22] And Anton is like,

[1:01:23] Wow, fireworks!

[1:01:25] This is an amazing place!

[1:01:27] It's like when you take a three-year-old

[1:01:29] out to see a garbage truck come by.

[1:01:31] Oh, cool!

[1:01:33] What?

[1:01:35] Jordan, as someone who has lived that life,

[1:01:37] yes, you are exactly right.

[1:01:39] That is exactly what it's like.

[1:01:40] I mean, there's also,

[1:01:41] the other distraction that happens

[1:01:43] is that Link makes a lot of the slot machines

[1:01:45] pay off downstairs,

[1:01:47] but it's barely a distraction.

[1:01:49] Sorry, what were you going to say, Elliot?

[1:01:50] I was just going to say,

[1:01:51] Salazar is like,

[1:01:52] You know,

[1:01:53] after sticking my lit cigar

[1:01:55] into a man's eye

[1:01:56] and then stabbing him in the throat,

[1:01:58] it's nice to know I can still be entertained

[1:02:00] by the innocence of fireworks.

[1:02:02] That was a big one!

[1:02:04] Yay!

[1:02:05] Boom!

[1:02:06] Okay, now I'm getting a little bored of them.

[1:02:08] Oh, now it's the finale!

[1:02:09] Oh, this is good!

[1:02:10] Now let's all watch Bluey.

[1:02:12] Oh, they're syncing it up to a pop song now.

[1:02:15] Oh, that one looks a little bit like a heart,

[1:02:18] but it's kind of squished a little bit.

[1:02:20] Um, so the guy,

[1:02:23] They are so enamored of the fireworks.

[1:02:26] It's really funny.

[1:02:27] They go off and look for the safes.

[1:02:31] Haas is looking in the bedroom.

[1:02:34] The plural is safe-eye.

[1:02:36] I'm not sure where Travolta is looking,

[1:02:38] but they both find these safes

[1:02:40] and they put their palms on the sensors

[1:02:43] at the same time.

[1:02:44] They unlock it.

[1:02:45] Salazar is watching this

[1:02:46] and Kibbitz is saying the entire time,

[1:02:48] Come on, idiot!

[1:02:49] Find the lever, idiot!

[1:02:51] Oh, stupid!

[1:02:52] And it's like, come on, guy.

[1:02:54] They can't seem to find the hard drive

[1:02:55] that they're looking for.

[1:02:57] Meanwhile, Hector is apprehended in the men's room

[1:03:00] for his fireworks ploy.

[1:03:02] Presumably for entertaining everyone so well.

[1:03:04] You don't want to give them the job, you know.

[1:03:06] Or kidnapping you and making you the lead fireworks guy.

[1:03:10] Haas finds something interesting.

[1:03:12] Your crime is being a sorcerer

[1:03:14] for making the lights and fire appear in the sky.

[1:03:17] Where's your dragons?

[1:03:18] Rain from the sky.

[1:03:21] How does this man make flame without flint or tinder?

[1:03:24] Like a puzzle box.

[1:03:25] I did use a lighter.

[1:03:26] Oh, never mind then.

[1:03:28] He finds a puzzle box with a little USB drive.

[1:03:31] Centimite comes out.

[1:03:32] I have so much beauty to show you,

[1:03:34] pain to teach you, yeah.

[1:03:36] It's got a little USB drive to take it.

[1:03:39] By the way, I think Lucas Haas gives me the vibe

[1:03:41] of a guy who would open up the Hellraiser box.

[1:03:44] Oh, 100%, 100%.

[1:03:47] And they've rigged it

[1:03:49] so Chaz gets stuck in the elevator.

[1:03:51] So that pressure's off for the moment.

[1:03:54] Phew.

[1:03:55] And as Bella and Zayd go to deal with that,

[1:03:58] the others check in with Link to deliver the hard drive.

[1:04:01] And there's all these lines about like,

[1:04:03] oh, this belongs to Isabel Faro.

[1:04:07] And I guess the crypto drive there

[1:04:09] actually after the first movie,

[1:04:11] because Travolta's like,

[1:04:12] I think Bella is Isabel Faro.

[1:04:15] She left Salazar so it tracks.

[1:04:17] And I'm like, I guess, man,

[1:04:18] I don't really understand what's going on here.

[1:04:21] And they do talk a lot about like,

[1:04:23] what happened in Seattle?

[1:04:25] Like, oh, this is just like,

[1:04:26] I mean, I guess that's where the first movie takes place

[1:04:29] and it's really exciting to the point

[1:04:30] where everybody wants to remember it constantly.

[1:04:32] Seattle's okay.

[1:04:33] You can see a fish flying through the air.

[1:04:35] It's really cool.

[1:04:36] I've been there.

[1:04:37] I've seen it.

[1:04:38] I mean, I can throw a fish in the air

[1:04:39] if I want to at home.

[1:04:40] Not the way they do it.

[1:04:42] Shots fired.

[1:04:43] Dan, Seattle, you know,

[1:04:45] Seattle is where Lou Zealand trained.

[1:04:47] Okay.

[1:04:48] They do it the best there.

[1:04:49] Yeah.

[1:04:50] Boomerang Fishmaster.

[1:04:51] Yeah.

[1:04:52] That sounds like a Hong Kong movie.

[1:04:53] That sounds like a Shaw Brothers movie

[1:04:55] from 1973, Boomerang Fishmaster.

[1:05:00] But Travolta, like,

[1:05:02] when the crime boss came for the Hong Kong fish market,

[1:05:06] the Boomerang Fishmaster wasn't going to let it happen.

[1:05:09] Travolta intuits that Salazar is actually after the dirt box.

[1:05:12] That sounds like, wait a minute.

[1:05:13] I mean, it's not a Shaw Brothers thing.

[1:05:14] That's a good Sammo Hung role.

[1:05:15] That's a great role for Sammo Hung.

[1:05:17] It has that Boomerang Fishmaster saving a Hong Kong fish market.

[1:05:20] You got comedy.

[1:05:21] You got action.

[1:05:22] You got class.

[1:05:23] Fish.

[1:05:24] Maybe a ghost shows up at the end.

[1:05:25] Who knows?

[1:05:26] Yeah.

[1:05:27] So they figure that there's something else

[1:05:28] that they haven't found yet that they need to find, essentially.

[1:05:32] Meanwhile, Gershon almost escapes.

[1:05:35] There's more like.

[1:05:37] She only uses blades.

[1:05:38] What we learned about Gershon is that she kills with a knife.

[1:05:40] He's like that she never, I guess she uses it,

[1:05:42] tries to use a gun later.

[1:05:43] But he's like, what's it like?

[1:05:45] Oh, it's physics, isn't it?

[1:05:47] The distance from you to the knife, the speed you can move at.

[1:05:50] And then she breaks a mirror and uses a blade, uses a shard from it.

[1:05:54] And I'm like, I love that.

[1:05:56] That this character is apparently into hands-on wet work, like close-up kills.

[1:05:59] Yeah.

[1:06:00] Well, and there's more talk of like, oh, what's it like to kill?

[1:06:03] And she says like, well, if you're killing a bad person,

[1:06:07] someone you know is bad, it's like the world's greatest orgasm.

[1:06:10] Which I'm like, okay, this is one of our heroes, I guess.

[1:06:13] Yeah.

[1:06:14] Meanwhile, Hector's tied up downstairs.

[1:06:17] Zayd comes in.

[1:06:19] It looks like he's going to repeat the cigar routine.

[1:06:21] And honestly, in this scene, Hector does some of the best acting in the movie,

[1:06:25] trying to convince him that he's just a drunk guy who set off some fireworks.

[1:06:29] A truck full of fireworks.

[1:06:30] The feds arrive.

[1:06:34] And there's some noticeably bad green screen behind Link at one point.

[1:06:39] Did you see that?

[1:06:40] It looks like a Zoom background like fading out,

[1:06:43] where she's like supposed to be in this hotel room.

[1:06:45] I didn't remember that part.

[1:06:46] She like fades into the background.

[1:06:48] I do love there was a shot while they were preparing for their heist

[1:06:51] and they're all staying in this little hotel room

[1:06:53] and they're all like scrunched up on the floor.

[1:06:55] And it is really funny that this whole team stays in the guy

[1:06:59] who's undercover's hotel room.

[1:07:02] They have cameras and shit.

[1:07:03] Like they would know that like ten people are staying there.

[1:07:06] Like if room service shows up,

[1:07:08] they find pillows and blankets all over the floors and couches.

[1:07:11] And they all are just in their clothes covered up with blankies.

[1:07:15] Except for Mason who has pajamas in a robe.

[1:07:19] Silk pajamas, yes.

[1:07:20] It's funny.

[1:07:21] Everyone else just sleeps in their clothes,

[1:07:22] but John Travolta changes into silk pajamas.

[1:07:26] He's got to play the role of whoever that billionaire is.

[1:07:29] Look, I bought $40,000 pajamas so I would feel like a billionaire.

[1:07:33] So I'm never breaking character.

[1:07:35] I see that just being how John Travolta shows up to a set.

[1:07:38] And they're like, fine, just shoot him.

[1:07:40] He's like a – who's the – why am I forgetting his name?

[1:07:44] The artist Julian Schnabel who just wears pajamas everywhere

[1:07:47] and just shows up at fancy events in pajamas and looks ridiculous.

[1:07:51] You guys know what I'm talking about, right?

[1:07:53] No.

[1:07:54] I mean I vaguely know who Julian Schnabel is.

[1:07:56] Director of Basquiat?

[1:07:57] Yeah, yeah.

[1:07:59] Inventor of the door schnob,

[1:08:01] which is like a doorknob but a little sillier.

[1:08:04] Link saves Hector from being blinded.

[1:08:06] Because I ooh-ga when you try and turn it.

[1:08:09] It gets me every time.

[1:08:10] Every time. I don't expect it.

[1:08:12] Link saves Hector from being –

[1:08:13] And then my big mouth Billy Bass starts singing at me from the wall,

[1:08:15] and I'm like, whoa, hold on.

[1:08:17] I thought you were just a fish.

[1:08:19] My house is too funny.

[1:08:22] Cracking me up.

[1:08:23] Well, I'm just going to open up this can of peanuts I have over here.

[1:08:26] Whoa.

[1:08:28] I should have known when I looked at the listing and it said three-bedroom silly.

[1:08:33] This cactus is –

[1:08:35] I'm just going to water it a little bit.

[1:08:37] It's not too much. It's a cactus.

[1:08:38] Oh, it's dancing.

[1:08:39] It's a dancing cactus.

[1:08:41] Now to drink out of this ordinary Pepsi can.

[1:08:44] Don't dan-o-nan-it.

[1:08:45] Don't don't dan-o-nan-it.

[1:08:47] Don't don't dan-o-nan-it.

[1:08:53] I feel so bad for the realtor that has that fucking listing.

[1:08:57] I have the office.

[1:08:59] They're like, you can take those things out of the house.

[1:09:01] She's showing people through there.

[1:09:03] They're like, we'll get rid of those.

[1:09:04] No, no, they come with the house.

[1:09:05] They're stipulated.

[1:09:06] If you buy it, you have to keep them.

[1:09:08] They're like, oh, wow, I'm tired from walking around this house.

[1:09:11] Let me just sit in this chair.

[1:09:12] No, no, no, no, no.

[1:09:13] There's a whoopie cushion there.

[1:09:14] The chairs are all giant whoopie cushions.

[1:09:16] The previous owner regarded these as their children, so they're stipulated in the will.

[1:09:21] I said, okay, I just got to run off and use the bathroom.

[1:09:23] No, no, there's saran wrap across all the seats.

[1:09:27] What a funny house.

[1:09:29] That's pretty funny.

[1:09:30] Yeah.

[1:09:31] Today on Million Dollar Prank House, our agents are going to see if they can sell the Million Dollar Prank House.

[1:09:37] Couldn't do it.

[1:09:38] We couldn't sell the Million Dollar Prank House.

[1:09:40] All right.

[1:09:41] Find out next episode if we can finally unload this first house.

[1:09:44] I mean, honestly, we don't want to sell it.

[1:09:47] The show would be over if we finally –

[1:09:49] We just have the one prank house.

[1:09:51] We have to make 140 episodes a year of this for HGTV.

[1:09:55] It reminds me of – when I was a kid, there was like a community event space that –

[1:10:00] that the town would hold parties and things in.

[1:10:03] And we used to go to them sometimes.

[1:10:05] And in the men's bathroom, there was a light switch

[1:10:07] with a plate around it of a tennis player

[1:10:10] with his pants down, so that the light switch was his penis.

[1:10:13] And as a kid, I was like, what is this?

[1:10:14] Why would you put this somewhere?

[1:10:16] In the million dollar prank house,

[1:10:17] all the light switches had those lights.

[1:10:19] All have penises.

[1:10:20] All things.

[1:10:21] Tennis players' penises of this young Elliot.

[1:10:24] Why would you do that?

[1:10:25] It doesn't make any sense.

[1:10:26] And I'd be like, does the ladies' room

[1:10:28] have the lady version of this?

[1:10:30] What would it be?

[1:10:30] I don't understand.

[1:10:31] Let me show you.

[1:10:32] It's a giant clitoris.

[1:10:34] Sebastian Maniscalco happened to be in that bathroom

[1:10:37] and he heard you say, why would you do this?

[1:10:39] He's like, there's something there.

[1:10:41] There's something here.

[1:10:42] I just gotta say it a lot funnier.

[1:10:45] Now I'm imagining Jig Sebastian,

[1:10:47] which is Sebastian Maniscalco as Jigsaw.

[1:10:50] Why would you let me trap you?

[1:10:52] Why would you let me do this?

[1:10:54] Why would you do that?

[1:10:56] There has to be more marbles in your mouth.

[1:10:59] I'm speaking a little too smoothly.

[1:11:01] Guys, I'd prefer if you did not make fun

[1:11:03] of my wife's favorite stand-up comedian, please.

[1:11:07] She listens to this podcast and it would make her very upset.

[1:11:10] It would be Sebastian Maniscalco.

[1:11:12] That would be his name.

[1:11:15] Anyway, I was trying to tell you

[1:11:16] about how Hector got saved.

[1:11:18] Link just walked into that funny house.

[1:11:22] All the guys crapped up too much

[1:11:23] and he was able to get away.

[1:11:25] The feds were like, we can't go in there.

[1:11:26] It's impossible.

[1:11:27] We don't have jurisdiction over a funny house.

[1:11:29] And around this point, Link hears a phone buzzing.

[1:11:33] And she's like, I didn't know my husband had another burner.

[1:11:37] And she picks it up and it's Salazar saying,

[1:11:39] don't let your little girlfriend upload the Dirk box.

[1:11:42] Uh-oh, Link, you've been sleeping with the enemy.

[1:11:44] Yeah.

[1:11:45] You've been sleeping with Salazar?

[1:11:46] What a twist.

[1:11:48] I mean, I wouldn't put it past him.

[1:11:50] I mean, Salazar can get it.

[1:11:51] Yeah, what's Salazar?

[1:11:53] Salazar did the classic thing in movies of,

[1:11:56] the phone picks up and you don't wait

[1:11:57] for the other person to say hello.

[1:11:58] You just immediately say the incriminating evidence.

[1:12:00] I got some incriminating evidence to unload.

[1:12:03] And Link accuses him, what's his name again?

[1:12:07] Karras.

[1:12:08] Karras, right when he comes back,

[1:12:09] which to me seems like a bad idea.

[1:12:11] Wait till there's backup in the room, girl.

[1:12:13] Like, why are you just like, you know?

[1:12:16] And again, she's wearing this terrible wig,

[1:12:17] which I think probably makes her feel

[1:12:19] like she has immunity because she's somebody else.

[1:12:21] That's true.

[1:12:22] And I think, and she's distraught.

[1:12:24] You know, she really loved him.

[1:12:25] Dan, here's how you remember his name is Karras, Karras.

[1:12:28] There's Anton and Karras,

[1:12:30] and that is a reference to Anton Karras,

[1:12:32] who played the Zither in the Third Man soundtrack.

[1:12:34] Actually, that's true.

[1:12:35] Oh, that's a helpful mnemonic.

[1:12:38] That's a good mnemonic for remembering

[1:12:39] the character names in the movies,

[1:12:42] Cash Out and High Rollers.

[1:12:43] Well, in that case, Karras.

[1:12:46] If you're watching the High Rollers and the Third Man,

[1:12:48] you have an interesting night ahead of you.

[1:12:50] So Karras did this because,

[1:12:54] oh wow, he's done good.

[1:12:54] He wanted revenge on Mason

[1:12:56] for making him look like a fool in the first movie.

[1:12:59] And also Salazar's threatening his family.

[1:13:02] But Link has none of it.

[1:13:04] First part seems less important.

[1:13:05] Yeah, he should've led with the family.

[1:13:08] Travolta has heard all this on his earpiece.

[1:13:11] He's sympathetic.

[1:13:12] That guy's one of the world's nicest super criminals,

[1:13:14] I'll tell you.

[1:13:15] Not such the mercenaries of Jurassic World Rebirth.

[1:13:18] Have we seen people who live in a moral gray zone,

[1:13:20] but are just sweetie pies, yeah.

[1:13:22] Bella shows up with security

[1:13:24] insisting that Travolta simply-

[1:13:27] I wanna say this.

[1:13:28] It sounded like you said Shakirity,

[1:13:30] like Shakira is their security.

[1:13:31] And also Trollta, like John Travolta is now a troll.

[1:13:35] And I wanna see that movie.

[1:13:37] I wanna see the movie where John Travolta's character

[1:13:39] is a troll, like in the movie Trolls,

[1:13:41] and Shakira is the security guard.

[1:13:43] I wanna see it, yeah.

[1:13:44] But it's like big crazy hairs instead of beard, right?

[1:13:47] Yeah, yeah, he has a big crazy beard

[1:13:49] that comes out like that.

[1:13:50] But he's bald on the top, yeah.

[1:13:51] Well, unfortunately-

[1:13:52] And they call him John Tra-Trollta.

[1:13:55] If only we had a trolls expert in the house,

[1:13:57] but I guess we don't, so let's move on.

[1:13:59] Unfortunately.

[1:14:01] We worked for DreamWorks' Trollstopia,

[1:14:03] the streaming companion piece to the Trolls films.

[1:14:08] So what do you think of Troll-

[1:14:09] How did it expand the world?

[1:14:12] Sorry.

[1:14:13] I was gonna say, do you think Trollta

[1:14:14] would have been a great addition to the Trolls canon?

[1:14:18] Listen, I pitched it.

[1:14:19] I pitched it, like he can dance.

[1:14:23] Except if he wants to.

[1:14:24] If he wants to.

[1:14:26] Bella shows up with security saying,

[1:14:29] Donovan, Donovan, you simply must come see your buddy Chaz.

[1:14:34] And it seems like the jig is up,

[1:14:36] but he keeps sticking to his story.

[1:14:39] She goes, Chaz, his limp is getting worse.

[1:14:42] He goes, Chaz never had a limp.

[1:14:43] Yeah, he-

[1:14:44] He doesn't fall into that trap.

[1:14:45] Yeah.

[1:14:46] On his earpiece, he hears from Link

[1:14:49] that there's a fancy hidden compartment

[1:14:50] inside a giant ruby,

[1:14:52] like the one Bella's wearing on her necklace.

[1:14:55] Her jewelry, costume, jewelry, she has one of them.

[1:14:57] That you can also get at Spirit Halloween.

[1:15:00] I mean, that promo code High Rollers.

[1:15:03] That ruby is so enormous.

[1:15:04] Yeah.

[1:15:05] It's either fake or it costs $100 million.

[1:15:09] Yeah, it's either fake or a key to a lock in Resident Evil.

[1:15:12] Yeah, or it's some kind of, yeah,

[1:15:15] it's some kind of gem from another dimension

[1:15:18] that imbues the wearer with the power of the gods.

[1:15:21] You know, it's enormous.

[1:15:23] It's a He-Man sized ruby, yeah.

[1:15:25] We get a few hilarious seconds of Travolta being like,

[1:15:28] Chaz, buddy, you lost weight.

[1:15:30] Like, just like trying to like bullshit his way through this.

[1:15:32] It's so funny the idea that he is like,

[1:15:35] you know what, I'm just gonna go for it.

[1:15:36] I'm just gonna pretend I don't care.

[1:15:38] That's Chaz.

[1:15:39] Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.

[1:15:41] And the way he gets out of the situation

[1:15:42] is so hilariously relaxed fit.

[1:15:45] Dan, how do you get out of this situation?

[1:15:47] The lights go out, I assume Link cut the lights

[1:15:49] and he just grabs the necklace.

[1:15:51] He runs away and he runs away.

[1:15:53] Because the necklace, of course, is on a breakaway chain.

[1:15:56] It is the goofiest, and then no one chases him.

[1:15:59] They just stand around going, that wasn't Donovan.

[1:16:02] What is your problem?

[1:16:03] Surely we can't catch this 70 year old man

[1:16:05] toddling through this hotel lobby.

[1:16:08] This does lead directly into gunplay,

[1:16:10] but it's from the feds, it's not even them chasing.

[1:16:12] I would say this is the silliest getting away,

[1:16:16] but we did see them escape the feds by jumping in a pool.

[1:16:21] The police are called in, Hector gets rescued,

[1:16:23] Travolta and Link slip off dressed as chefs.

[1:16:27] They have apparently punched out some chefs

[1:16:30] and undressed them and taken their clothes or something.

[1:16:32] This does have one moment of someone on the kitchen staff

[1:16:35] recognizing them and calling it in.

[1:16:38] It's the first time that that is even remotely realistic

[1:16:40] because yeah, they've been 10 different hotel employees

[1:16:44] during this movie, and this is the one time

[1:16:46] where someone's like, I guess I've never seen these people.

[1:16:49] Are we on like a fucking undercover boss or something?

[1:16:51] Oh yeah, because that wig is so bad.

[1:16:54] Terrible wig.

[1:16:55] Is that Bella pretending that she works here?

[1:16:57] It makes me, so over Christmas, I was in a hotel in Hawaii.

[1:17:01] I know, I live a great life, and it makes me wonder

[1:17:04] if I had just taken someone's uniform

[1:17:07] and walked around the hotel pretending I worked there,

[1:17:09] would anyone have noticed?

[1:17:11] Would they have called me out

[1:17:12] or they just assumed I worked there?

[1:17:12] There's a plot of White Lotus season four, Elliot.

[1:17:15] Whoa.

[1:17:18] Sounds sexy.

[1:17:21] They're trying to escape through their,

[1:17:22] I guess their escape.

[1:17:23] No, I swear, I'm a guest here.

[1:17:25] I don't really work here.

[1:17:26] Sure, sure, you're working in the boiler room dungeon now.

[1:17:30] No, no.

[1:17:32] Their escape involves going under like the stage

[1:17:35] of the theater in the casino, but they're stopped.

[1:17:38] Theater is putting it, theater is putting it.

[1:17:39] Yeah, it's more like a convention hall.

[1:17:41] It's like an auditorium at best, yeah.

[1:17:43] They're stopped by Zayd, who is upset, but not surprised

[1:17:46] to learn that his brother is behind everything

[1:17:48] that's going on, and he's going to shoot Travolta,

[1:17:52] but Karras shows up to redeem himself

[1:17:54] and hits him with a fire extinguisher, and-

[1:17:58] Not how they're supposed to be used.

[1:18:00] He gets stabbed for his troubles,

[1:18:02] and it looks like Zayd is gonna take the upper hand,

[1:18:06] but then Bella shows up and shoots him,

[1:18:08] saying that he stole something from her

[1:18:10] and she's gonna get it back.

[1:18:12] The team escapes through a tunnel,

[1:18:15] and even though Karras got stabbed in the leg

[1:18:16] like in the opening of 28 Years Later,

[1:18:19] he doesn't die immediately.

[1:18:20] No, it didn't hit the artery.

[1:18:21] And he's actually pretty good at running

[1:18:23] from that point on.

[1:18:24] Yeah, yeah.

[1:18:25] They come out from this long, you know,

[1:18:28] like duct work and tunnel thing

[1:18:30] to Zayd's shrimp processing plant.

[1:18:33] Mm-hmm.

[1:18:34] Which is right next to the casino, yeah.

[1:18:37] There's a big-

[1:18:38] It's implied that it is under the hotel,

[1:18:40] which is strange, yeah.

[1:18:42] There's a big shootout here

[1:18:43] that's shot really strangely,

[1:18:45] including some first-person shooter things

[1:18:47] where you just see an arm and a gun,

[1:18:49] and I'm like,

[1:18:49] was this because they didn't get the actors back?

[1:18:52] They're doing pickups later on.

[1:18:53] I'm assuming there were some drone shots, too.

[1:18:55] There's a lot of-

[1:18:55] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:18:56] Zooming around with drones.

[1:18:57] A lot of drone shots zooming around.

[1:18:58] CGI blood.

[1:18:59] There's one scene where the camera's zooming around

[1:19:01] while it's following them,

[1:19:02] and then I missed a cut the first time I watched it,

[1:19:04] and so I thought they were running into a room

[1:19:06] where they were also running in

[1:19:08] from the other side of the room,

[1:19:09] and I was like, what is going on?

[1:19:10] Moral pincher movement, hmm?

[1:19:12] Yeah.

[1:19:15] What's that movie?

[1:19:16] Is it Contact, the movie where someone runs up

[1:19:18] a flight of stairs to a mirror,

[1:19:19] and then it turns out we were looking at the reflection

[1:19:21] the whole time?

[1:19:21] Yes, Contact.

[1:19:22] It's amazing.

[1:19:23] It's a great show.

[1:19:25] Just outside the shrimp factory,

[1:19:27] they get stopped by Salazar and some goons

[1:19:30] who have Gina Gershon.

[1:19:32] They give him the dirt box,

[1:19:34] and Salazar seems like he's gonna go back on the exchange,

[1:19:38] and he calls back to how he's never killed anyone,

[1:19:41] and he recently learned from Gina Gershon

[1:19:45] that it can be orgasmic if it's someone bad,

[1:19:48] but he's a cynical man who thinks that everyone's bad,

[1:19:50] so he can shoot anybody, and Salazar-

[1:19:53] Finally, I will be multi-orgasmic,

[1:19:55] because the period it takes me to reach erection is-

[1:20:00] Too long for me to have to do it in the normal way.

[1:20:03] Finally, I can be like Sting and do it.

[1:20:05] It's called the refractory period.

[1:20:07] My hero Sting.

[1:20:09] I can achieve a Sting-gasm by not touching my weenus.

[1:20:13] Now I'm going to be like, I'm on a field of gold.

[1:20:16] This scene has another example of that thing where someone gets a cliche kind of wrong,

[1:20:21] like can't help a girl for trying.

[1:20:23] I think the bad guy says something along the lines of like,

[1:20:26] let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

[1:20:29] But he's like, I'm not a Bible man.

[1:20:32] I think what he probably should have said was, I'm not a religious man.

[1:20:36] But he says, I'm not a Bible man.

[1:20:39] Well, no, because he was referring to Bible man, the character Willie Ames played in the series.

[1:20:43] Right, right.

[1:20:44] He's Christian Jesus.

[1:20:45] He's a VHS superhero from the 90s.

[1:20:47] Documentary salesman about Bible sellers.

[1:20:51] He's not even saying I'm not one of them.

[1:20:53] I'm not one of those Bible men who live a life of misery.

[1:20:56] A real, a real, a real look at, probing look at American capitalism at its most naked.

[1:21:02] To sell these Bibles, you have to ABC, always be Christen.

[1:21:10] Speak Christen.

[1:21:11] Is that what God told Jesus before he sent him down?

[1:21:14] ABC, always be Christen.

[1:21:16] What if I just want to take a break from Christen?

[1:21:18] Like if I'm tired of healing lepers?

[1:21:19] No, ABC.

[1:21:20] You want to get, look, first, first prize.

[1:21:23] First prize is the car.

[1:21:25] Coffee is for Christers.

[1:21:26] You get crucified.

[1:21:27] So also think to yourself, what would you do?

[1:21:31] Yeah.

[1:21:32] Glengarry Glen Christ.

[1:21:36] Oh, the saddest one is the old man.

[1:21:37] Christ is like, come on, I just get it.

[1:21:39] I got to get another couple of conversions.

[1:21:43] Help me out here.

[1:21:44] Oh, you tried to convert the Nyborgs.

[1:21:46] Oh, yeah.

[1:21:47] They just like talking to Christ.

[1:21:48] They don't want to.

[1:21:49] They don't actually convert.

[1:21:51] There's a good.

[1:21:52] That's a good sketch.

[1:21:53] That's a good.

[1:21:54] If we ever write for Mr.

[1:21:55] Show, Glengarry Glen Christ is a good sketch.

[1:21:57] Is that the apostles are all like the characters in Glengarry Glen Christ?

[1:21:59] I think that's now the time for Mr.

[1:22:01] Show to come back, right?

[1:22:02] Bob Odenkirk's not busy.

[1:22:04] He can do another season of Mr.

[1:22:05] Show.

[1:22:07] Odenkirk keeps pitching these sketches where he's like super ripped and

[1:22:10] beating dudes up, beating up Eastern European stuntmen.

[1:22:18] Salazar sets up a conundrum for Travolta.

[1:22:22] He's like, you can take.

[1:22:23] I want to do one.

[1:22:24] Wait, one more.

[1:22:26] Jesus is giving his talk to the apostles and he goes, look to the

[1:22:30] consider the lilies.

[1:22:32] Do they weave or spin?

[1:22:33] No.

[1:22:34] That's why I fired their ass.

[1:22:35] Get to work, everybody.

[1:22:37] Worth it.

[1:22:38] OK, so you're all fisher of men.

[1:22:39] So hook me some big fucking fish.

[1:22:41] Get me a whale out there.

[1:22:43] Salazar is like, you can take Gina Gershon.

[1:22:46] I mean, the character's name, whatever.

[1:22:48] Or you can take you can take Gina Gershon out of the movie, but you

[1:22:51] can't shoot Lucas Haas.

[1:22:54] So who do you who do you pick your wife or your brother?

[1:22:57] Instead, Lucas Haas has a look on his face where he's like, no, I can

[1:23:01] go.

[1:23:03] That's super integral to this.

[1:23:06] You don't have to unlock both safes at once.

[1:23:09] I never really redeemed myself after that Seattle thing.

[1:23:11] Oh, boy.

[1:23:12] Well, we all know what happened in Seattle.

[1:23:14] Oh, boy.

[1:23:16] We all remember.

[1:23:18] Talk about sleepless.

[1:23:19] Yeah, of course.

[1:23:21] Travolta cuts through this Gordian knot by offering himself up instead.

[1:23:25] And but the non-killer drug lord hesitates just long enough.

[1:23:29] So funny.

[1:23:30] This goes on for way longer than it needs to.

[1:23:33] He's going, kill me, man.

[1:23:34] Fucking do it.

[1:23:35] Fucking kill me.

[1:23:36] And so I was like, hey, I will.

[1:23:38] I will kill you.

[1:23:39] I'm going to do that.

[1:23:40] You said I'm going to do it.

[1:23:42] I think myself.

[1:23:44] Just the right.

[1:23:46] But I'm live streaming to my gooner killer friends that I'm going to kill

[1:23:51] you, but I haven't done it yet.

[1:23:53] Yeah, he did.

[1:23:54] He delays just long enough for Gershon to kick the gun out of his hand.

[1:23:59] And then the feds run in.

[1:24:01] I don't know what they're fucking waiting for.

[1:24:03] If they were close enough to do this.

[1:24:04] But it turns out that Travolta says they're all getting hot and heavy

[1:24:08] watching the guy almost get blasted.

[1:24:10] Turns out the big the big non-twist is that it seemed that we didn't have

[1:24:15] to see a flashback.

[1:24:17] Travolta tipped off the feds earlier in exchange for a deal, a deal which

[1:24:21] gets everyone immunity, even apparently, even though they apparently were

[1:24:25] all of the FBI's most wanted list in return for Salazar.

[1:24:30] They must have been in a private jet anywhere they want to go.

[1:24:33] Yeah.

[1:24:34] It's also like what happened in Seattle that they are on the FBI's most

[1:24:38] wanted list.

[1:24:39] Like that's that dirt box, man.

[1:24:41] Osama bin Laden was on the FBI's most wanted list at one point.

[1:24:44] Everyone at this point, if they're on the FBI's most wanted list, it's

[1:24:47] because they're probably from Somalia or from, you know, or another country.

[1:24:50] But but still, that's that's political commentary right there.

[1:24:53] The FBI is taking its eye off the ball.

[1:24:55] Oh, wow.

[1:24:57] Yeah, well, I mean, they got them finally.

[1:24:59] Yeah, finally.

[1:25:00] True, if not particularly amusing.

[1:25:02] It's not funny at all.

[1:25:04] We don't Dan, we don't Dan, we don't.

[1:25:06] And this is this.

[1:25:07] I feel like the Flophouse isn't really about jokes.

[1:25:09] It's about illuminating and enlightening people.

[1:25:11] Yes.

[1:25:12] Activating truth to power.

[1:25:14] Yeah.

[1:25:15] In between all the stinkers.

[1:25:17] Sometimes we give you some thinkers.

[1:25:19] Yeah, I would say that it would be very funny if it turned out that Kash

[1:25:22] Patel listens to this and is like, hey, I like your podcast.

[1:25:24] So you're talking about me.

[1:25:26] No, I mean, isn't that where you guys did get your slogan to in the think

[1:25:29] one in the state?

[1:25:31] I was going to be on our T-shirt.

[1:25:33] And then all those teachers got burned.

[1:25:35] The company said they refused.

[1:25:37] Yeah, I was going to say that no one goes to podcasts for that.

[1:25:40] But unfortunately, people went to the wrong podcast for this sort of thing.

[1:25:43] And that was part of the problem.

[1:25:45] So the podcast complaining about ladies in Star Wars makes me want to

[1:25:50] overthrow the government.

[1:25:52] I mean, imagine this reminds me of something that that friend of the

[1:25:55] podcast has been praying once said to me where he goes, imagine how much

[1:25:58] money I could make if I just sold out and became the right wing Persian

[1:26:02] guy who wants to bomb Iran.

[1:26:04] Imagine how much money I could be making right now if I had no principles

[1:26:08] and I could be that guy.

[1:26:10] Guys, we could be making so much money now.

[1:26:12] Human would be really good.

[1:26:14] I mean, guys, I mean, I think we should probably all just start

[1:26:17] complaining about the MCU.

[1:26:19] Yeah, I mean, is that what they call it?

[1:26:21] Yeah, the like right wing YouTube guys who are mad about three female

[1:26:24] characters.

[1:26:26] Eighteen years ago, if we had started a YouTube channel being shitheads,

[1:26:29] we would be we'd have like vacation homes.

[1:26:31] Yeah, we'd be so rich.

[1:26:33] Be miserable.

[1:26:35] And we'd go to everyone.

[1:26:37] It would fear our fans.

[1:26:38] That's what I'm good at is like saying things I don't believe going

[1:26:41] against my principles.

[1:26:43] Like I'm really comfortable with that.

[1:26:45] Yeah.

[1:26:46] I think David, you would have a hard time keeping that K-fabe.

[1:26:49] Listen, Kathleen Kennedy intentionally made bad Star Wars movies.

[1:26:53] So little boys would feel bad.

[1:26:55] Not even as a joke.

[1:26:57] Just like every comic book person is intentionally making making bad

[1:27:00] issues of the comics they make because they hate the characters and want

[1:27:03] to destroy them.

[1:27:05] Yeah, I've heard that one.

[1:27:06] And guys, we're all parodying bad takes from Internet people.

[1:27:09] Yes.

[1:27:11] You don't think right now we don't really know.

[1:27:13] We don't actually we're being.

[1:27:15] Yes.

[1:27:16] If the FBI is listening.

[1:27:18] I love the MCU.

[1:27:20] I have.

[1:27:22] I have literally one more bullet point in my notes.

[1:27:24] Oh, so we got more time to goof.

[1:27:26] Also, it turns out that the first time.

[1:27:29] You want to be like big conservatives for a little bit more.

[1:27:32] I got to tell you, even even pretending to be it used to be.

[1:27:34] I used to find it very funny to be a big conservative.

[1:27:36] But now it's like it's it's fun to be a fake Nazi until the Nazis are

[1:27:40] in charge. And then it's like, oh, this is this is gross.

[1:27:43] Now, you know, that being said, the accent still hilarious.

[1:27:46] Oh, I know.

[1:27:48] Yeah.

[1:27:49] I mean, I think, you know, that's it.

[1:27:52] Yeah.

[1:27:53] What's this bullet?

[1:27:55] I've been hearing so much about Dan.

[1:27:57] It turns out that the first thumb drive that they found, the one with

[1:28:00] an actual thumb, the one they're like, fuck this thumb drive.

[1:28:04] Uh, Sean has it.

[1:28:06] It's the one with the six hundred million in crypto in it.

[1:28:09] Oh, crime squad wins again.

[1:28:11] Yeah.

[1:28:13] The crime, the crime.

[1:28:15] And they walk away like crime.

[1:28:17] We did it now. And it's like, wait.

[1:28:19] So, I mean, yeah, that was a crime. You stole that.

[1:28:21] I don't know.

[1:28:22] But there's six hundred million and there's like six of them.

[1:28:25] Right.

[1:28:26] Yeah.

[1:28:27] There are only like five of them.

[1:28:29] They each get more money.

[1:28:31] So that's going to be the third movie, which is that they're hunting each

[1:28:34] other.

[1:28:35] Yeah, exactly.

[1:28:36] A tauntaun thing.

[1:28:37] A tauntaun thing.

[1:28:38] They're cutting open each other and stuffing themselves in to stay warm.

[1:28:41] Tauntaun thing.

[1:28:42] A little French guy who goes on adventures.

[1:28:44] I guess he's Belgian, right?

[1:28:46] Yeah, he's Belgian.

[1:28:47] He's not French.

[1:28:48] Yeah.

[1:28:49] A boring comic book that smart parents get for their kids.

[1:28:51] Wow.

[1:28:52] I mean, to be honest, when I was a kid, I was always like, this is not

[1:28:55] exciting to me.

[1:28:56] But it's probably the kind of thing that Dan would like.

[1:28:58] Tintin?

[1:28:59] Yeah.

[1:29:00] Yeah.

[1:29:01] I enjoy that sort of light adventure.

[1:29:02] And the clean line style.

[1:29:04] The clean line style.

[1:29:06] When I was a kid, I would read it and I'm like, when's Tintin going to lose a

[1:29:08] hand?

[1:29:11] Eventually the sea captain's going to get killed, right?

[1:29:13] And then Tintin's going to get revenge.

[1:29:15] When is that going to happen?

[1:29:17] I actually didn't read them as a kid, though.

[1:29:19] As a kid, I was reading Tales from the Crypt comics.

[1:29:21] Yeah.

[1:29:23] At some point, Snowy's going to snap and just start ripping out throats,

[1:29:25] right?

[1:29:27] Got to be sure.

[1:29:29] At what point do they find Tintin dead and Snowy has eaten half of the

[1:29:30] corpse?

[1:29:32] Maybe the answer will be found.

[1:29:34] When Tintin goes into the public domain, all this stuff will happen.

[1:29:36] Yeah.

[1:29:38] Eli Roth's Tintin.

[1:29:40] And our final judgments.

[1:29:42] Final judgments.

[1:29:44] This is a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie kind of like.

[1:29:46] I'm going to say, you know, watching it alone, we've run into this

[1:29:49] problem before.

[1:29:51] We've talked about it.

[1:29:53] Maybe not the most delightful way that one could watch this movie.

[1:29:55] No.

[1:29:57] Like, it's it's a good movie.

[1:29:58] I mean.

[1:30:00] Yeah, It's it's it's on the digital shores.

[1:30:02] Like.

[1:30:04] It's it's on the movement on the global stage.

[1:30:06] Yeah.

[1:30:07] But I mean, it's the title is asked for and.

[1:30:09] It's a chapter like, Oh my God.

[1:30:11] It must be a book in the Universe book chain.

[1:30:13] Yeah.

[1:30:15] It's not like it's it's a bit like our God Hands off now it's a

[1:30:17] game of Jackpot.

[1:30:19] That by the way should have happened a long time ago, but when

[1:30:23] you're back in that edition it's like God Hands off,horror that

[1:30:25] 시고, Kill Guard killer.

[1:30:00] Still a bit of a slog watching it, you know, during the day as a man alone in a house.

[1:30:07] Why are my grandkids calling me?

[1:30:10] But I do think that...

[1:30:12] The problem is also, Dan, you live in such a silly house that you're distracted by all the talking objects.

[1:30:16] Right, right, right, right.

[1:30:17] But I do think that...

[1:30:18] Can you imagine, Pee Wee Herman must have had so much trouble just watching regular TV

[1:30:22] because his furniture is constantly talking to him.

[1:30:24] There must have been times when he'd be like, just shut up, I just want to watch this show.

[1:30:27] I'm trying to finish the wire!

[1:30:32] I do think that...

[1:30:33] It's a secret word!

[1:30:35] Pee Wee, what are you watching?

[1:30:37] Guys? Terry?

[1:30:40] That was a good Terry.

[1:30:42] Thank you.

[1:30:43] No, I think if you got a group of friends together...

[1:30:45] Oh, but I was doing Terry Gard, did it sound like Terry?

[1:30:47] Yeah. I think if you got a group of friends together, this would actually be a pretty fun, bad movie to watch.

[1:30:53] Because there's some bad movies where it's bad because everything is wrong.

[1:30:58] And there are other ones where the fun of it is like,

[1:31:01] okay, I can see the big blockbuster movie you're trying to be,

[1:31:04] but the broken Xerox machine you made it on makes it funny.

[1:31:08] Yeah, it's like the Uncanny Valley movies where you're like,

[1:31:12] it's close enough that you're like, this is kind of a movie, right?

[1:31:16] So I'm going to go good-bad. A little marginal, but good-bad.

[1:31:19] I'm going to agree with you.

[1:31:21] I enjoyed watching it alone in my apartment where I put the motion smoothing on my TV.

[1:31:29] It was meant to be seen.

[1:31:30] Yeah, smoother, smoother.

[1:31:32] While there was like a thumbnail of Landman in the corner.

[1:31:39] I think it's a fun, good-bad movie, and it would be a fun, bad movie to watch as well.

[1:31:45] I agree. I think it is not the most fun by yourself, but it would be a fun movie to watch.

[1:31:49] It somehow manages to combine the fun of watching famous people in something that they should be above being in

[1:31:57] and the fun of watching a movie that feels like it was made by random people in the middle of nowhere

[1:32:02] who don't fully know what they're doing.

[1:32:04] So yeah, I would call it a good-bad movie as well.

[1:32:06] What about you, Jordan? Are you ready to buck the trends?

[1:32:08] No, not at all. I'm going to go with the flow and say yes, I agree with all these points.

[1:32:13] Yeah, a little bit of a weird one to just turn on by yourself,

[1:32:16] but I think for Bad Movie Night purposes, this is a fun choice.

[1:32:20] It did get me curious about the Travolta slop.

[1:32:24] I am very familiar with the Cage slop, and I like it a lot.

[1:32:28] I love booting up a random Nicolas Cage movie and seeing if it's one of the good ones.

[1:32:33] I did get curious, does Travolta have a pig out there or a color out of space where it's like,

[1:32:40] oh, he was in this kind of weird, cheap movie, but he's great in it.

[1:32:43] Anyway, so it has gotten me thinking about the world of Travolta slop, and I'm curious.

[1:32:50] And sign me up for the third part in this series, right? There's going to be more, right?

[1:32:54] There's got to be.

[1:32:56] Complete the trilogy.

[1:32:58] I mean, I do—

[1:32:59] You meet the third brother of the Salazar, Zayne Blackfell.

[1:33:03] We've got to meet the third brother.

[1:33:05] Oh, wait, wait, wait. It says right here, I'm looking at John Travolta's filmography on Wikipedia.

[1:33:10] It says, to be announced, Cash Out 3.

[1:33:13] No way, no way.

[1:33:16] I think they're planning to do the third.

[1:33:18] Yeah, they're just waiting for Comic-Con to make the announcement.

[1:33:21] I do think it's funny that—

[1:33:24] When they have all the titles for phase three of the Cash Out-iverse on the screen.

[1:33:28] Right, that Travolta and Cage are, of course, linked because of face-off.

[1:33:34] And it does seem like Travolta is picking up the slack now that Cage has sort of clawed his way

[1:33:39] into mostly better material.

[1:33:42] Travolta is doing the sort of thing that Cage was doing for a while.

[1:33:46] I think we may need to look at more Travolta movies.

[1:33:49] Is this the first one we've seen since The Fanatic years back?

[1:33:53] Yeah, The Fanatic was the last one.

[1:33:55] And Gotti was before that.

[1:33:57] Gotti's rough, Gotti's rough.

[1:33:59] This is an untapped vein that we should be looking into more.

[1:34:02] Hey Alexis.

[1:34:07] Hey Ella.

[1:34:08] What animal has the most teeth?

[1:34:10] I would guess a shark.

[1:34:12] A snail.

[1:34:13] No, snails don't have teeth.

[1:34:16] They have thousands and they are freaky looking.

[1:34:19] No, I don't want that to be true, okay?

[1:34:22] Did you know that the hippocampus in your brain is named after the half-horse, half-fish sea creature found in Greek mythology?

[1:34:28] I didn't know that, but we're meant to be doing animal trivia and hippocampus isn't a real animal.

[1:34:32] Well, that doesn't matter on Comfort Creatures.

[1:34:34] You're right, it doesn't matter at all.

[1:34:36] Comfort Creatures is a cozy show for lovers of animals of all shapes and sizes, real and unreal.

[1:34:41] If that sounds like your cup of tea, then join us every Thursday for new episodes on MaximumFun.org.

[1:34:48] Are you a celebrity?

[1:34:50] Are you searching for meaning, connection, and a little levity these days?

[1:34:54] Hi, I'm Kumail Nanjiani, actor, writer, and yes, a celebrity too.

[1:34:59] And I've got four words for you.

[1:35:01] Bullseye with Jesse Thorne.

[1:35:05] Are you tired of junkets?

[1:35:07] Red carpets?

[1:35:08] Sick of the endless spicy snacks you have to eat?

[1:35:11] Do you want to connect with someone who gets your work and laugh with you a little?

[1:35:15] Join me, Andre 3000, Tom Hanks, Tina Fey, and many more and become a guest on Bullseye with Jesse Thorne.

[1:35:23] From NPR and Maximum Fun.

[1:35:27] The Flophouse is sponsored in part by Factor.

[1:35:31] You know, when it gets cold, maybe you don't want to worry about cooking, you know, on top of everything else.

[1:35:38] We're in a bomb vortex right now, guys, a bomb vortex.

[1:35:42] Wow, can't get to the store when that's going on.

[1:35:44] Yeah, Factor makes it easy, easy to eat healthy with fully prepared meals designed by dieticians and crafted by chefs.

[1:35:52] So eat well without all that planning and cooking.

[1:35:55] And Factor meals feature quality functional ingredients.

[1:35:59] You don't want unfunctional ingredients, including lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole food ingredients, and healthy fats.

[1:36:07] Some places send you unfunctional ingredients, and it'll be like an old pacifier, a scrap of cloth, you know, a bag of hair.

[1:36:16] You don't want to eat that. Factor will never send you that kind of stuff.

[1:36:18] They send you good food ingredients.

[1:36:20] It's true, and you won't find refined sugars, artificial sweeteners, refined seed oils.

[1:36:25] And with 100 rotating weekly meals to keep things fresh and delicious through winter, you're going to find something you like.

[1:36:32] They're ready to eat in about two minutes.

[1:36:34] I have enjoyed Factor meals in the past.

[1:36:37] I've said it before, but I'll say it again.

[1:36:39] I'm a man, unlike Elliot, who likes to cook, and yet, and yet, kitchen strays.

[1:36:44] You're a man, comma, unlike – wait.

[1:36:46] I don't like to cook.

[1:36:47] You said it a little confusingly.

[1:36:48] I don't like to cook.

[1:36:49] You said, unlike Elliot, I like to cook, I said.

[1:36:52] You said, I'm a man, unlike Elliot, who likes to cook.

[1:36:55] I just don't want people to think that Elliot likes to cook.

[1:36:58] Okay.

[1:36:59] I don't think that would have been a problem, but in case there's any issue –

[1:37:03] It's the way I heard it, and I was like, do I like to cook?

[1:37:05] Well, when I'm playing with a jazz band, I love to get cooking, but still, yeah.

[1:37:08] Love to cook, we say.

[1:37:09] Yeah.

[1:37:10] Point is, everyone needs a break, even people like Dan's, who enjoy doing chores around the house,

[1:37:18] who would be perfectly happy doing chores around the house all the time.

[1:37:23] But that doesn't mean I don't get tired.

[1:37:24] I like these Factor meals.

[1:37:26] They're tasty, and they're healthy, and they get done quickly.

[1:37:31] So head to factormeals.com slash flop50off.

[1:37:34] That's the numeral 50, and use code flop50off to get 50% off and free breakfast for a year.

[1:37:41] Eat like a pro this month with Factor.

[1:37:44] New subscribers only, varies by plan.

[1:37:46] One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active.

[1:37:51] Now, the movie we just watched, High Rollers, features a high-tech hacker by the name of Link,

[1:37:57] and maybe you yourself are somebody who wants to get into cyberspace,

[1:38:02] but you do not have the special set of skills possessed by Link from the movie High Rollers.

[1:38:07] Well, have no fear.

[1:38:09] You can set up your own website using Squarespace.

[1:38:13] Squarespace gives you all the tools you need to run a small business using a web page,

[1:38:20] and Squarespace helps you do that.

[1:38:22] You can get paid.

[1:38:23] You can send invoices.

[1:38:25] You can do scheduling, very professional stuff, and you do not need to be a tech whiz to do it.

[1:38:31] It also has cutting-edge design.

[1:38:33] Maybe in addition to not being able to be a tech whiz, you're also not a design whiz.

[1:38:37] Well, luckily, Squarespace employs tons of them and has tons of beautiful templates.

[1:38:42] Wizards?

[1:38:43] Yes, tech wizards.

[1:38:45] Tech wizards, not normal wizards.

[1:38:47] Oh, never mind.

[1:38:49] It is so fancy that it does seem like magical arts, but in fact, it's just regular arts.

[1:38:56] You can get templates so you can design a very professional-looking website without having to do all the design yourself.

[1:39:02] It's all built in the platform.

[1:39:04] It's great.

[1:39:05] So make sure that you head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial,

[1:39:12] and when you're ready to launch your site, use offer code FLOP to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or domain.

[1:39:21] I have one Flophouse thing to mention and a couple of personal things to mention in this advertising promotional segment.

[1:39:28] First of all, Flop TV, it's completed in terms of the actual episodes.

[1:39:34] By the time this episode comes out, we will have finished with Flop TV, correct, Dan?

[1:39:39] Because we're recording a little ahead of schedule.

[1:39:40] I believe that that's true.

[1:39:42] I mean, we'll have the last episode, but you can still watch.

[1:39:45] But that being said, that's where I'm going to.

[1:39:48] That being said, the episodes are still available at theflophouse.simpletics.com through the end of February.

[1:39:54] We had a great time this season.

[1:39:55] It was Flopster Peace Theater, so we started with the 2000s and went back in time.

[1:40:00] to look at movies from all different decades.

[1:40:03] We talked about some flops that are legendary

[1:40:05] that we never talked about.

[1:40:07] A couple of the movies, we kinda liked.

[1:40:09] One of them, I love.

[1:40:10] It turned out I was watching it.

[1:40:11] And we ended with, of course, Plan 9 from Outer Space,

[1:40:13] perhaps the most famous of all bad movies,

[1:40:15] the granddaddy of the idea of watching bad movies for fun.

[1:40:18] All those episodes where we had such a good time together

[1:40:20] and it was so enjoyed by the audience.

[1:40:22] We really loved it and they loved it too.

[1:40:24] You can still watch them.

[1:40:25] If you didn't get a chance to catch them,

[1:40:26] you can still go to theflophouse.simpletext.com

[1:40:29] and watch the recordings.

[1:40:30] Buy yourself a season pass.

[1:40:31] You can watch all six episodes for the cost of five.

[1:40:34] And you can see them at your leisure

[1:40:36] through the end of February.

[1:40:37] That's Flop TV, season three.

[1:40:40] It's no longer live, but it's still living in our hearts

[1:40:43] and on the website until the end of February.

[1:40:47] I also had a couple of personal things just to mention.

[1:40:50] I wanted to remind people that I have a new comic series.

[1:40:53] The first issue comes out February 11th.

[1:40:56] And that, if maybe that was before now,

[1:40:58] again, I don't remember when this episode's coming out.

[1:41:00] But that's my new series,

[1:41:01] Barbarian Behind Bars from Mad Cave Studios.

[1:41:05] I am reunited with my Maniac of New York co-creator,

[1:41:08] Andrea Muti, and this is a new story

[1:41:10] about a Conan He-Man type barbarian

[1:41:13] who ends up in our world, chops a mad wizard's head off,

[1:41:16] gets thrown in jail, and has to figure out how to get out.

[1:41:20] It is about taking a high fantasy character

[1:41:22] and throwing him into a kind of pulp jail setting.

[1:41:27] And I really had fun writing it,

[1:41:28] and I hope you will have fun reading it.

[1:41:30] That's Barbarian Behind Bars, issue one,

[1:41:32] coming out this February.

[1:41:33] My joke book, or rather joke writing book,

[1:41:36] Joke Farming, How to Write Comedy, Other Nonsense,

[1:41:38] still available on store shelves.

[1:41:38] It's not a joke, it's deadly serious.

[1:41:40] It's incredibly, yeah, it's deadly serious.

[1:41:42] It's a deadly serious game of cat and mouse and jokes.

[1:41:46] This is something that really synthesized

[1:41:48] all my thinking about comedy and how jokes work,

[1:41:51] and now it's just available for you in one book,

[1:41:53] and it's fun to read.

[1:41:54] I think you'll like it.

[1:41:55] And I wanted to remind you that I'm still writing

[1:41:57] the Harley Quinn comic monthly at DC Comics,

[1:41:59] and I'm still doing a podcast for Smart List,

[1:42:02] the podcast for the list.

[1:42:03] Check it out.

[1:42:04] That's a lot of stuff coming from me.

[1:42:05] Hope you enjoy at least some of it,

[1:42:07] and I hope you buy all of it.

[1:42:12] Let's move on to letters from listeners.

[1:42:14] This one's from Luke, last name withheld.

[1:42:16] Who writes?

[1:42:17] Lucas Haas.

[1:42:18] I hope you enjoyed my movie, High Rollers.

[1:42:20] I had a lot of fun making it.

[1:42:23] John's great and a wonderful scene partner.

[1:42:26] I didn't look in his eyes,

[1:42:28] but that's only because it was in both of our contracts

[1:42:30] that I wouldn't.

[1:42:34] I recently watched Unfaithfully Yours,

[1:42:37] Preston Sturgess's screwball comedy,

[1:42:39] where Rex Harrison has fantasies

[1:42:41] about dealing with his possibly cheating wife.

[1:42:43] But here's the thing.

[1:42:45] I went into the movie unaware of that,

[1:42:47] and I completely missed the obvious signal

[1:42:49] that the movie had moved from its reality into fantasy,

[1:42:52] even though it is indicated by literally

[1:42:54] zooming into Rex Harrison's eye

[1:42:56] to show we're going into his mind.

[1:42:58] And he replays it a couple different times

[1:43:01] in different ways, yeah.

[1:43:02] I thought the movie suddenly shifted

[1:43:04] from wacky jokes to full film noir,

[1:43:06] and was genuinely surprised when someone was murdered.

[1:43:10] I didn't understand why everyone

[1:43:11] was suddenly acting so differently until the fantasy ended.

[1:43:15] This is clearly not what Sturgess intended,

[1:43:17] but I somehow missed all the clues, Mr. Policeman.

[1:43:20] Has this happened to you?

[1:43:22] Have you ever completely missed an obvious story device

[1:43:25] and completely misunderstood something

[1:43:26] that was never meant to be misunderstood?

[1:43:28] Best, Luke Lasting With Health.

[1:43:30] I mean, the classic flop house example is In Time.

[1:43:33] In Time, yeah.

[1:43:35] Didn't realize.

[1:43:36] We misunderstood that Olivia Wilde

[1:43:38] was supposed to be Justin Timberlake's mom, right?

[1:43:39] Yeah.

[1:43:40] Well, because of their frackling sexual chemistry.

[1:43:42] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[1:43:45] Guys, before we answer this question,

[1:43:46] this is my final thing about John Travolta.

[1:43:48] Apparently, he is in an upcoming movie

[1:43:50] directed by Rennie Harlan.

[1:43:51] About three generations of a family on a sailing holiday

[1:43:53] face an orca attack on their boat.

[1:43:55] No way.

[1:43:56] Jesus Christ.

[1:43:58] Let's see what you got to do.

[1:43:58] Many things I like in that.

[1:44:00] One ticket, please, for this movie

[1:44:02] that probably will not be in a place

[1:44:05] where I would have to buy a ticket.

[1:44:07] Yeah.

[1:44:07] One ticket for Black Tides, please.

[1:44:13] That's not a movie that's playing here.

[1:44:14] One Tubi unit, please.

[1:44:16] Sir, we show actual movies here.

[1:44:19] I believe you can just go home and dial that one up.

[1:44:24] So, I was trying to think of a,

[1:44:27] Dan tipped us off about this question ahead of time,

[1:44:28] and I was trying to think of an example.

[1:44:30] I know there have been ones

[1:44:31] where I miss a piece of information that has been stated,

[1:44:33] and then later on, I'm like,

[1:44:35] oh, I guess I was supposed to know that,

[1:44:37] and my wife will be like, yeah, well, they said it earlier.

[1:44:39] I'm like, oh, oh, I don't know,

[1:44:41] but I'm having trouble thinking of a specific one,

[1:44:42] but I know it's happened.

[1:44:43] I am not always watching movies

[1:44:45] with the keen eye that I am known for.

[1:44:48] Yeah, you gotta make sure you get all the schmutz

[1:44:50] off the plates while you're washing them.

[1:44:54] Even when I'm not watching a movie,

[1:44:55] I mean, there's the added obstacle

[1:44:57] of sometimes I am looking at the dish

[1:44:58] that I'm cleaning while I'm watching a movie, yeah.

[1:45:02] This is a really tough one.

[1:45:04] I mean, I'm sure I have,

[1:45:05] but I just hate admitting that I make mistakes on the podcast.

[1:45:10] Oh, on the podcast.

[1:45:12] Not, no, in life, I admit it all the time,

[1:45:14] but on air, I don't want our listeners

[1:45:16] to think that a god like me can bleed, you know?

[1:45:19] Yeah, yeah, of course.

[1:45:20] I played through a couple of those Gears of War games

[1:45:23] without knowing that you could quick reload your gun.

[1:45:26] That's crazy.

[1:45:27] Yeah, I don't know if you guys have ever played those.

[1:45:28] There's a quick reload mechanic

[1:45:29] that makes the fighting a lot quicker,

[1:45:31] but I beat a couple of those, and I'm like, oh, yeah,

[1:45:33] you can quick reload your gun.

[1:45:35] Anyway, I'm sure this was fascinating,

[1:45:37] and I'm glad I said it.

[1:45:38] It's like that Kurt Vonnegut story

[1:45:39] about having like boots, weighted boots.

[1:45:44] What was that one?

[1:45:44] Yeah, Harrison Bergeron.

[1:45:46] Yeah, yeah, you're like Harrison Bergeron.

[1:45:47] Now you're like, you can jump so high in those games

[1:45:50] because you have a-

[1:45:51] I feel like I've told this story in the podcast before,

[1:45:53] but I'm gonna tell it again, Jordan.

[1:45:54] When I was playing through Dark Souls Remastered

[1:45:56] on my Switch, I got to the last,

[1:45:59] it wasn't until I got to the final boss of the game

[1:46:01] that I realized you could parry,

[1:46:03] and then I beat him like super fast.

[1:46:04] Oh, that's funny.

[1:46:06] That was also the fight where, because it was on the Switch,

[1:46:09] I was playing it, you know, on the go,

[1:46:11] and I just boarded a plane, and Char and I sat down,

[1:46:15] and I'm like, well, let me just push

[1:46:17] through this fog wall here, huh?

[1:46:19] Up, boss music, up there's the boss,

[1:46:21] and then Charlene slaps me on the arm,

[1:46:23] and I look up at her, I'm like, what?

[1:46:25] And she was just offering me a donut,

[1:46:27] and I'm like, damn, I'm already dead.

[1:46:30] And I'm like, I put the game down,

[1:46:32] I'm like, Charlene, I'm sorry that I freaked out.

[1:46:35] That was all on me.

[1:46:36] Right.

[1:46:36] I just passed the fog wall.

[1:46:38] These games are very stressful.

[1:46:41] A 10,000 person chorus just started screaming at me.

[1:46:44] Yeah.

[1:46:45] Ah, ah.

[1:46:48] You know when I'm in game mode, I cannot be interrupted,

[1:46:51] or else I'm not liable to do anything.

[1:46:53] Game mode's when I put on those wraparound shades,

[1:46:56] and I sit in the cab of my truck to play a game.

[1:47:01] This next letter is one that you guys,

[1:47:06] Elliot and Stuart, have already seen.

[1:47:08] Normally, I get these through the Flophouse mailbox,

[1:47:12] and I'm the one who vets them and puts them together,

[1:47:15] and the rest of the gang hasn't seen the full letter,

[1:47:18] although they get the questions.

[1:47:19] But this case, you've seen it, but it's so good,

[1:47:23] gotta put it out there in the world

[1:47:25] for our listeners and for Jordan.

[1:47:27] This is from our pal, Parker Bennett,

[1:47:31] who was a writer on the Super Mario Brothers movie,

[1:47:34] and what was the other one that he also?

[1:47:35] Mystery Date.

[1:47:36] Mystery Date.

[1:47:38] So he says, impossible.

[1:47:40] When you say Super Mario Brothers movie,

[1:47:42] the 90s or the original, okay.

[1:47:45] He says, impossible as it may seem,

[1:47:47] I have yet another zelly-like intersection

[1:47:49] with a bad movie featured on the Flophouse.

[1:47:52] Fortunately, I had nothing to do

[1:47:54] with writing the Master of Disguise,

[1:47:56] but in 2000 or so, I had pivoted

[1:47:58] from writing bad movies like Super Mario Brothers

[1:48:00] to creating websites for them.

[1:48:02] My partner and I called our company Mogulsoft,

[1:48:05] and I was the creative head

[1:48:07] designing interactive flash extravaganzas,

[1:48:09] fashionable in the day.

[1:48:11] It even got a B-minus from Entertainment Weekly.

[1:48:14] Yes, they once reviewed websites.

[1:48:17] The Master of Disguise was the last movie website I did.

[1:48:21] Others included, But I'm a Cheerleader,

[1:48:23] Shadow of the Vampire, and K-Pax.

[1:48:26] Was there like a little flash game

[1:48:27] for Shadow of the Vampire,

[1:48:28] where you're like running from the vampire?

[1:48:30] I'll ask the email.

[1:48:32] Answer is inconclusive.

[1:48:33] Around this time, studios wised up

[1:48:36] that people just wanted to watch the trailer

[1:48:38] and buy tickets, not solve puzzles and play flash games.

[1:48:42] I moved on, doing my part for the post-9-11 baby boom.

[1:48:45] Acts of creation adjacent to disaster seemed to be my thing.

[1:48:49] Your friend of the pod, Parker.

[1:48:51] And if you're being like, Master of Disguise,

[1:48:54] I don't remember that episode.

[1:48:56] We just got back from San Francisco Sketch Fest,

[1:48:58] where we did a live show on Master of Disguise.

[1:49:01] Dan left his heart there.

[1:49:03] He's been making left-hearted San Francisco jokes

[1:49:06] non-stop.

[1:49:07] That'll be, yeah, non-stop.

[1:49:10] That'll be in the feed at some point,

[1:49:11] probably when we have scheduling difficulties

[1:49:14] and need something to save us,

[1:49:17] but look forward to that.

[1:49:18] It was a fun show.

[1:49:20] Yeah, it was, and a great movie.

[1:49:22] Two thumbs up.

[1:49:23] No, I don't think that was our conclusion, if I recall.

[1:49:25] I don't believe so.

[1:49:26] You'll have to listen to find out.

[1:49:27] I said that wrong.

[1:49:28] It was a short movie, two thumbs down.

[1:49:30] Okay, yeah.

[1:49:31] Fair enough.

[1:49:32] Anything else to be said about Master of Disguise

[1:49:35] or websites?

[1:49:36] Jordan, you have a connection to the masters.

[1:49:38] You ever?

[1:49:39] Boy, not a one.

[1:49:41] I know, I'm as surprised as you are.

[1:49:45] Well, in that case,

[1:49:46] let's move on to recommendations of films

[1:49:50] that might be a better way to spend your time

[1:49:54] than watching direct-to-streaming Travolta.

[1:50:00] action movies and I'm going to recommend the return to gross horror movies of Sam

[1:50:09] Raimi oh you I saw I'm going tonight what you think it's it's a lot of fun I

[1:50:17] mean you know it's not like the absolute highest heights of Sam Raimi but it is

[1:50:21] you know him buildings the tops of buildings yeah he's clearly having a

[1:50:29] blast just like being gross again cool like scenes where there's like a lot

[1:50:34] more blood and goo than you're gonna expect I've got tickets to see it in 4d

[1:50:38] so I'm gonna be shaking around the audience was reacting just as you want

[1:50:49] them to like with like noises but laughing a lot um you know I love Rachel

[1:50:56] McAdams basically in anything the other guy who I don't know as well is also

[1:51:00] really good the the trailer makes it seem like a much more straightforward

[1:51:05] movie I think too than it is I think it's interesting some of the character

[1:51:10] twists and turns that happen just just a fun movie if you like original movies if

[1:51:16] you like Sam Raimi like I would encourage people to like vote with their

[1:51:20] dollar and actually yes yeah I want to see it I am going to recommend a movie I

[1:51:25] saw a little while ago but I haven't had a chance to recommend here on the

[1:51:28] show it is a movie called reflection in a dead diamond it is a kind of it's a

[1:51:35] like Giallo esque spy movie esque movie esque movie that kind of that is like

[1:51:43] all style it is so much style and yet it at least somewhat holds together as a

[1:51:50] movie about an aging secret agent who is retired age exactly and he is kind of

[1:52:00] reflecting on his life and he feels like kind of the sins of his past are coming

[1:52:06] back to haunt him along with some of his former foes and this is made by the

[1:52:12] filmmakers who made the strange color of your body's tears and let the corpses

[1:52:17] tan so you know they know how to name a movie good and I found to be just again

[1:52:25] as I said like it's a movie I'm used to movies being like super stylish and kind

[1:52:30] of gross and weird but not actually making much sense but this one actually

[1:52:33] makes at least some sense and I think it's I think it's really fun I think I

[1:52:38] mean I guess that that's true I guess I see what you're saying but also like I'm

[1:52:41] listening to this thinking like Stewart's making this movie sound a lot

[1:52:45] more like straightforward and comprehensible than it is to yeah it is

[1:52:48] also sort of like I don't know like if you had a dream after watching danger

[1:52:53] diabolic or something yeah yeah I think that's fair like it's yeah and I feel

[1:52:58] like it's got like elements of like venture brothers and the things venture

[1:53:01] brothers was aping like I think it's great it's weird and gross and awesome

[1:53:06] oh and before and in general I won't name out a specific movie but go watch

[1:53:12] Catherine O'Hara movies RIP yeah absolutely no one's funnier yeah yeah

[1:53:16] she's that she's the that was that we're recording this the day after the news

[1:53:19] broke that Catherine O'Hara died and I was I'm sure it hit you guys very hard

[1:53:23] hit me very hard yeah I was I was really hoping to meet or work with her someday

[1:53:27] she's just amazing and so I was very sad about that that being said I am also

[1:53:32] wasn't planning to recommend it Catherine O'Hara movie today maybe I

[1:53:36] should well let's be waiting for government that also recommend another

[1:53:40] movie also I this is I recently finally got to watch a movie I've been wanting

[1:53:44] to see for years it's a Polish movie from 1965 it's called the Saragossa

[1:53:49] manuscript and it is a movie about storytelling in a way in that it is one

[1:53:56] of these movies where a character starts telling a story and then in that story

[1:53:59] another character starts telling a story and we follow that story and then in

[1:54:02] that story another's character starts telling a story and it's this common

[1:54:07] it's this this basically mainly about a soldier who is wandering through Spain

[1:54:12] in the in the I think 18th century and has a series of or might be earlier and

[1:54:19] is having a series of strange encounters some of them are kind of surreal and

[1:54:25] supernatural some of them are just kind of like bawdy but there's a lot of fun

[1:54:29] stuff in it and over it for a movie that is three hours of characters

[1:54:33] interrupting plot lines to tell other stories and have other plots come in

[1:54:37] it's when things start kind of like looping together in different ways it's

[1:54:42] really fun and satisfying so if you want to see a movie that is kind of like

[1:54:47] twisty storytelling where it's less about where the story is going to than

[1:54:51] about where is what's the turn it's gonna make next and where there's funny

[1:54:54] stuff there's spooky stuff and there's a lot of women in low-cut dresses much

[1:55:00] many more than I expected to see in the movie when I first are watching it then

[1:55:04] I would recommend the Saragossa manuscript Jordan have you seen anything

[1:55:08] that you would recommend yes I will admit I am a few episodes behind on the

[1:55:12] flophouse I'm usually all caught up I can't imagine y'all haven't talked about

[1:55:16] the old bone temple but if you go down to the old bone temple I think you

[1:55:23] recommended it didn't you sir I don't think I had a chance or maybe I did I

[1:55:26] don't think we've recorded an episode well please recommend it on the 20 later

[1:55:36] bone temple it fucking rules it it's so it's not it's not only great it's like I

[1:55:43] don't know I think it's weirdly an all-timer for me I loved it it is yeah

[1:55:49] it's like you know I could see you know seeing it out there and going like oh

[1:55:53] they kind of cranked out a 28 sequel kind of close to the other one this is

[1:55:58] it it's its own thing and it it just rips it's so surprising it's so weird

[1:56:03] and funny the acting is wonderful it includes a a dance scene that is maybe

[1:56:10] one of the greatest things ever to appear on film yeah and it's a great

[1:56:15] theater movie I feel like it is one that you know maybe people kind of slept on a

[1:56:18] little bit it was a I don't know maybe a little bit of an underperformer and I

[1:56:22] like I look at the like at the you know area of film to online film people who

[1:56:29] you know gush about your weapons is and your sinners which are two great movies

[1:56:33] where are you guys on bone temple it's so good I really really loved it I think

[1:56:39] if you're definitely the flop freaks will love this movie yeah if you still

[1:56:43] have a chance to see it in a theater do it do it do it it is I saw it sitting

[1:56:47] next to Stuart yeah and there's a scene that you talk about the dance scene I

[1:56:54] don't want to like spoil it too much for anyone hasn't seen it but like my horror

[1:57:01] metal tracksuit wearing friend yeah I'm like Stuart the scene like this is like

[1:57:09] your heart made a wish yeah there's so many things about that movie that feel

[1:57:17] like it's speaking directly to me and I feel like at least from what I've heard

[1:57:21] this is the case with a lot a number of people out there that this is a movie

[1:57:25] that manages to balance two wildly differing tones of like totally very

[1:57:30] brutal very cruel yeah but at the same time there's a tenderness and a

[1:57:35] compassion that you don't often you don't see in movies that often let alone

[1:57:40] like a fucking post-apocalyptic horror movie

[1:57:43] Ralph Fiennes is like delivering some of the best material in an already

[1:57:46] incredible career yeah yeah Ralph Fiennes yeah I mean give that guy an

[1:57:52] Oscar for this but also give the giant zombie an Oscar for this that guy great

[1:57:57] there's a there's a guy who we see a little bit in the first 28 years later

[1:58:01] Samson Samson yes he's great huge dick

[1:58:08] jet is Jack O'Connell the name of yeah other than the actor but he's so good in

[1:58:14] it too and there's like a scene between him and Ralph Fiennes that is so funny and

[1:58:21] tense and like tender and it's weird way it's just amazing see and the social

[1:58:29] media push of the movie a lot of the you know there's been some Jack O'Connell

[1:58:33] because he got about he you know he was great in sinners as well as yeah

[1:58:36] similarly like charming villain the but there's been a lot of the relationship

[1:58:43] between Ralph Fiennes and the actor who plays Samson and there's a lot of them

[1:58:46] talking about the prosthetics and things like that but it is like their

[1:58:50] equivalent of every other fucking movie trying to make me believe that the two

[1:58:54] leads of the movie are in love with each other like I don't know if you guys are

[1:58:57] tired of this every fucking Wuthering Heights ad is like you know what they

[1:59:02] actually might be in love I'm like I don't think so yeah I mean but that's

[1:59:13] like I feel like that's the modern element of like movie promotion it's

[1:59:18] like how can we make people think that the the actual like we love celebrity

[1:59:22] culture so much right get the real people involved and you already burned

[1:59:26] me with Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson we're not that far away from when the

[1:59:34] ad campaign for a movie will be like did Tom Cruise really die making this stunt

[1:59:39] we haven't seen him in a long time I was writing a script that actually I abandoned

[1:59:49] in favor of like I think a better idea thank you Elliot for weighing in but like

[1:59:54] there was like that I did like as an idea

[2:00:00] there's like two celebrities who were mad at each other,

[2:00:04] you know, like having to deal with each other

[2:00:06] in close proximity, but they're mad at each other

[2:00:08] not because of a breakup, but because one of them

[2:00:12] like handled their fake relationship

[2:00:15] in a way they didn't like,

[2:00:16] like the studio encouraged fake relationships,

[2:00:19] so they had like a fake breakup

[2:00:21] that was causing them like a strife.

[2:00:23] That's a solid rom-com premise, dude.

[2:00:25] I might reuse that somewhere.

[2:00:26] Don't take it. Yeah.

[2:00:27] Dan McCoy. TM, TM.

[2:00:29] That's like- Yeah, that means the McCoy.

[2:00:31] Dan's mailing it to himself right now.

[2:00:33] Yeah.

[2:00:34] Oh man, that was a treat.

[2:00:38] Thank you for giving me a space

[2:00:40] to talk about 28 years later, the Bone Temple.

[2:00:41] Oh good, yeah, I only assumed you guys a bit.

[2:00:43] It's been nonstop Bone Temple talk

[2:00:44] for the past couple episodes,

[2:00:45] but yeah, I'm glad I could recommend it.

[2:00:47] I haven't actually yet.

[2:00:48] It's a very flophouse movie.

[2:00:50] I think they made the mistake of taking that movie out

[2:00:53] too soon after the last 28 Years Later movie.

[2:00:55] Like they should have waited another year, I think.

[2:00:57] Yeah, maybe, yeah.

[2:00:57] You're right, maybe people just thought it was-

[2:01:00] Weird captioning or something.

[2:01:02] As much as I like Danny Boyle,

[2:01:03] I feel like I connect more

[2:01:05] with the Nia DaCosta's directorial style.

[2:01:08] Man, it's so good. It's great.

[2:01:10] It's such a good movie.

[2:01:11] Anyway.

[2:01:13] I gotta see it, Bone Temple.

[2:01:14] Well, this has been a delight as evidenced

[2:01:18] by how little we were able to stay on topic for time.

[2:01:23] All right, that's a backhanded compliment

[2:01:24] if ever there was one.

[2:01:25] No, no, no, I think that that's a good sign

[2:01:27] of having fun.

[2:01:30] But Jordan, why don't you take a moment to,

[2:01:33] what are you grinning about?

[2:01:35] That's gonna be our next fucking t-shirt slogan.

[2:01:37] A good sign of having fun.

[2:01:39] A good sign of having fun.

[2:01:40] And it's just like a picture of our runtime or something.

[2:01:44] Jordan, please promote your stuff.

[2:01:46] Oh, sure, I would love to.

[2:01:48] Hey, I know that this is a podcast listenership

[2:01:51] that's got a pull list.

[2:01:52] So if you're one of those folks,

[2:01:55] consider adding the upcoming Marvel Comics release,

[2:01:59] Predator Bloodshed.

[2:02:01] It is a Predator miniseries written by me,

[2:02:04] art by Roland Boshi and Rory Coleman.

[2:02:06] The Predator, you know this guy.

[2:02:08] Everybody's favorite alien.

[2:02:10] Hear me out.

[2:02:12] He's got braids, he's cool.

[2:02:14] Yeah.

[2:02:15] He's got a crab face.

[2:02:16] Jordan, I want to support your project.

[2:02:18] I cannot stand by and say that the Predator

[2:02:19] is my favorite alien.

[2:02:20] What would it be, E.T.?

[2:02:23] Yeah, who do you like better than the Predator alien?

[2:02:26] The Predator, about the alien, about the alien, Jordan?

[2:02:28] I think you like the xenomorph.

[2:02:30] Like, you want to hang out with the xenomorph.

[2:02:32] We covered this on a past mini, by the way.

[2:02:34] We talked about it, we talked about it.

[2:02:35] Can you get a beer with the xenomorph?

[2:02:37] Well, most people.

[2:02:38] We wrote a sex song about the xenomorph.

[2:02:40] That's true, we did.

[2:02:41] Most right-thinking people's favorite alien, the Predator.

[2:02:46] In this, in continuity miniseries,

[2:02:49] the Predator gets loose at an underground fighting tournament

[2:02:53] much like the kind you would see

[2:02:54] in Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter,

[2:02:56] but it's a group of martial artists versus the Predator.

[2:03:00] Yes, when I'm pitching things, I just think to myself,

[2:03:03] what would Stewart think is awesome?

[2:03:05] And then I pitch that.

[2:03:09] I'm holding my Mortal Kombat Annihilation DVD

[2:03:12] and my Predator DVD, and I just kind of push them together.

[2:03:15] That's this, basically.

[2:03:18] Yes, it starts on February 25th, the first issue comes out.

[2:03:23] It's looking really gorgeous.

[2:03:24] Both Roland and Rory do awesome art.

[2:03:26] The Predator looks cool, it's gory, it's fun.

[2:03:28] Maybe you got a little dark comedy in there.

[2:03:30] I think folks are really gonna dig it.

[2:03:32] So yeah, February 25th, wherever you get your comics,

[2:03:35] or if you want signed by me copies,

[2:03:38] you go to bit.ly slash cool fight, bit.ly slash cool fight,

[2:03:44] and you can get them from a local comic book store

[2:03:46] here in LA called Collector's Paradise.

[2:03:48] They ship anywhere.

[2:03:50] So if you're not sure if you can get it in your zone,

[2:03:52] bit.ly slash cool fight, you get them in the mail

[2:03:55] anywhere you are.

[2:03:57] And hey, I also do some podcasts

[2:03:59] on the Maximum Fun Network.

[2:04:01] Jordan, Jesse Go, the comedy chat show,

[2:04:03] Free With Ads, the movie chat show.

[2:04:05] The Floppers have been on both of these shows.

[2:04:08] Dan and Stu were on Free With Ads not too long ago,

[2:04:12] and we talked about The Apartment.

[2:04:13] So if you wanna hear Flophouse host talk about a good movie.

[2:04:17] A really good movie, yeah.

[2:04:18] A really good movie.

[2:04:19] And yeah, it's been on Jordan, Jesse Go a bunch of times,

[2:04:22] so check it out.

[2:04:24] I don't wanna overplug, but I think this is special

[2:04:27] for the Flophouse audience.

[2:04:28] If there's any Southern California floppers out there,

[2:04:31] I am hosting a Predator double feature

[2:04:34] at the Frida Cinema in Santa Ana.

[2:04:38] That is February 26th at 7 p.m.

[2:04:40] We're showing the original Predator and Predator Badlands,

[2:04:43] and I'll be there hosting and giving out comics

[2:04:46] and signing comics.

[2:04:47] So please come out to that

[2:04:49] if you're in the Southern California area.

[2:04:51] You get those tickets at thefridacinema.org.

[2:04:54] Okay, done plugging.

[2:04:56] Great. Done plugging.

[2:04:57] Thank you. A lot of exciting stuff

[2:04:58] for Jordan Morris fans and Predator fans.

[2:05:01] Yes.

[2:05:02] The Venn diagram overlaps quite a bit.

[2:05:03] Yeah, I think so.

[2:05:04] People like me and jacked aliens.

[2:05:07] Well, now it's time for us to plug up our mouths

[2:05:12] for this episode.

[2:05:14] But before.

[2:05:14] Dan, don't use that plug to plug your mouth.

[2:05:16] You don't know where it's been.

[2:05:17] Before that happens,

[2:05:19] a quick exhortation to go over to maximumfun.org.

[2:05:24] Listen to some of the other great podcasts on the network,

[2:05:26] including those starring our guest host, Jordan.

[2:05:33] Thank you to Alex Smith, our producer.

[2:05:34] He goes by the name HowlDotty.

[2:05:36] You can listen to his music.

[2:05:37] You can see his Twitch streams.

[2:05:39] He's got a podcast.

[2:05:40] It's very funny.

[2:05:41] Check his work out.

[2:05:43] For The Flop House, I've been Dan McCoy.

[2:05:45] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[2:05:47] I've been Elliot Kalin.

[2:05:48] Hey, I'm Jordan Morris.

[2:05:50] And I was also on the show.

[2:05:54] A little catchphrase.

[2:05:55] That's me, the guy who was on the show.

[2:05:59] See ya.

[2:06:07] Yeet me in St. Louis.

[2:06:08] You do that for kids.

[2:06:10] Somebody throws somebody out the window.

[2:06:13] That's why we have children's entertainer, Jack Black,

[2:06:16] here to help us connect with the kids.

[2:06:19] A new movie, Meet Me in 6-7.

[2:06:21] Yeah, Meet Me in 6-7, yeah.

[2:06:25] Fam.

[2:06:27] Oh man, that's going to be a bustin' for real, no cap.

[2:06:34] Maximum fun.

[2:06:35] A worker-owned network.

[2:06:36] Of artist-owned shows.

[2:06:38] Supported.

[2:06:39] Directly.

[2:06:40] By you.

High Rollers, with Jordan Morris

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