main Episode #473 Feb 14, 2026 02:06:41
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Dan McCoy
[0:00] On this episode, we discuss high rollers.
Elliott Kalan
[0:03] Don't worry, we hadn't heard of it either.
Dan McCoy
[0:28] Hey, everyone.
[0:30] And welcome to the Flophouse.
[0:31] I'm Dan McCoy.
Elliott Kalan
[0:32] I'm Stuart Wellington.
[0:34] I'm Elliot Kalin.
[0:35] I went for the opposite volume.
[0:36] You guys started low and went high.
[0:38] And then I started high and went low.
[0:39] I dehyped.
[0:40] Yeah.
[0:40] And who's joining us today?
[0:41] We have a special guest with us today, don't we?
[0:43] It's me, Jordan Morris.
[0:46] Oh, wow.
[0:47] That's right.
Jordan Morris
[0:47] I'm doing both kinds of energy.
[0:50] This won't be annoying.
Elliott Kalan
[0:53] But he's moving away from the mic because he's a podcast professional.
[0:56] Thank you.
[0:57] That's right, Jordan Morris, podcasting legend.
Stuart Wellington
[0:59] It's me.
[0:59] Of Jordan Jesse Goh.
[1:00] Yeah, he's a podcasting legend.
[1:02] He is a Jack Black impersonator.
[1:04] He is what else?
Dan McCoy
[1:07] Comment book writer.
[1:08] Just, you know, but like non-professional.
[1:10] He's just in his free time.
Elliott Kalan
[1:10] No, no, no, if you have a children's birthday party and you want a Jack Black performer to show up, but you can't afford Jack Black, Jordan Morris will be Jack Black at your children's birthday party.
Stuart Wellington
[1:19] You gotta give him a couple of days to grow that beard a little bit crazier.
Jordan Morris
[1:23] Yeah, I was telling the guys before we started recording.
[1:27] I'm keeping my beard a little tidier in the new year, 2026, the year of the tidy beard for me.
Elliott Kalan
[1:33] Yeah, last year for you was the year of the castaway beard.
[1:36] Yeah.
Jordan Morris
[1:37] Right.
[1:38] And then Wilson broke up with me.
[1:40] Oh, man.
[1:41] I had to try to break up with Wilson.
[1:43] Oh, that's rough.
[1:44] I read about it in the tracks.
[1:45] Oh, boy.
[1:46] Yeah.
[1:46] I saw his DMs and he was...
Stuart Wellington
[1:48] So you're saying Wilson's free?
Jordan Morris
[1:52] Yeah, but don't try and tie Wilson down, believe me.
[1:55] Yeah.
[1:55] Listen, if you just want a quick roll in the sand with Wilson, try and get that volleyball to come in.
Stuart Wellington
[2:01] Yeah, he's got the body for rolling.
Jordan Morris
[2:04] He loves to roll.
[2:06] No, but I'm keeping the beard tidier for many reasons, but one of them is because when it was bigger and bushier,
[2:14] like kids were stopping me on the street to ask me if I was Jack Black.
Stuart Wellington
[2:19] I think this is a great chance for us all to go around and say what celebrities people say we have looked like.
[2:24] Elliot, you go next.
[2:25] Has anyone stopped you on the street to say you look like Jack Black?
Elliott Kalan
[2:29] No, not like Jack Black.
[2:30] Usually if there's some kind of nerdy celebrity, people don't say, you don't think I'm that person,
[2:34] but they say I look like someone nerdy, you know?
[2:37] Mm-hmm.
[2:38] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[2:39] I haven't gotten any celebrity comparisons in recent years.
[2:44] Well, that's not true.
[2:45] Since I got the beard, there's a lot of Riker.
[2:48] That's pretty cool.
[2:49] That's a good one.
[2:50] But nobody thinks you're actually Riker.
[2:52] No, no one thinks I'm actually Riker.
[2:53] A much older man.
[2:55] No, it's like what we've gotten.
[2:56] It's not like, Stuart, you know, we don't all have to be mistaken for these things, right?
[3:01] Clarify the question, please.
Elliott Kalan
[3:02] I mean, not mistaken for it.
[3:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[3:04] Okay.
[3:04] I was just saying, I just want to ascertain that unlike Jordan Mars, people go up and say,
[3:11] are you Jack Black?
[3:12] No one went up to you and said, are you Jonathan Frakes?
[3:14] The actor who played Riker?
[3:16] Yeah.
Jordan Morris
[3:16] Dan, can you help me?
[3:17] I have two stories and I need to know which ones are fact and which ones are fiction.
Dan McCoy
[3:23] At one point, I occasionally would get another member of the Next Generation crew.
[3:29] I would get Brent Spiner.
[3:30] When I was younger, I would get John Cusack.
Stuart Wellington
[3:35] Oh, that's pretty good.
[3:36] Those are all great ones.
[3:37] Yeah.
[3:37] And obviously, I get plenty, but the two that I feel like were least accurate but still very complimentary
[3:44] were Michael Fassbender.
[3:47] And I had just seen Shame, so I was like, hell yeah.
[3:50] And I'm like, man, he's dragging one.
[3:53] And somebody, an Australian person said I look like Heath Ledger.
[3:56] And I'm like, that's factually incorrect, but I appreciate the...
[3:59] Man, yeah.
Dan McCoy
[4:01] Let me check the encyclopedia of people who look like other people.
[4:04] Mm-hmm.
Stuart Wellington
[4:05] It's not in here.
[4:06] No.
[4:06] Yeah.
[4:08] I appreciate it.
[4:10] Hey, well...
[4:10] Yeah, if you like put me through a database like they might use in the movie we watched
[4:15] today.
[4:15] Yeah, yeah.
[4:16] Like a criminal database.
Dan McCoy
[4:18] Yeah.
[4:19] Yeah, speaking of that movie, what we do on here, on this podcast, The Flophouse, is
[4:24] not talk about beards or celebrity lookalikes.
[4:26] We just did, Dan.
[4:27] We just did.
Elliott Kalan
[4:28] So I used my gaslighting.
Dan McCoy
[4:30] Yeah, I got to check the encyclopedia of actually incorrect things said on podcast.
[4:34] That's in there now.
Elliott Kalan
[4:36] Let me see the video footage, because you're telling me that we're not talking about it,
[4:39] but we're talking about it.
[4:40] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[4:40] That's true.
[4:41] Okay.
[4:42] Well, it's not the prime directive, huh?
[4:44] Of our podcast.
[4:46] Yeah.
[4:46] We've got very Jonathan breaks of you.
[4:48] Maybe it is right here.
[4:49] Now I see it.
[4:49] I see it now.
[4:50] Yeah.
[4:51] Of course, the prime directive is we talk about movies that have gotten critical or-
Elliott Kalan
[4:56] We don't interfere with movies that have not yet discovered space travel.
Dan McCoy
[4:59] Yes.
[5:00] We don't do that.
Elliott Kalan
[5:02] And movie shall never kill movie.
[5:05] Yeah, of course.
[5:06] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[5:06] We discuss movies that are critical or commercial flops and talk about what we thought about
[5:12] them.
[5:13] And on this episode, we saw a movie that I don't think was in theaters.
[5:18] That's the thing.
Elliott Kalan
[5:19] I would be surprised.
[5:20] According to Wikipedia, it grossed $72,805 in the United Arab Emirates.
[5:25] So it was in theaters in at least one country.
[5:28] Yeah.
[5:28] Unless those are video rentals in the UAE.
[5:30] Yeah.
[5:31] But yeah, when you say like movies that are critical or commercial flops, like a movie
[5:36] like this is, you kind of ask yourself, is this a real movie?
[5:39] Or is this like, did a guy spend a lot of money to get some famous people together to
[5:43] make like a bar mitzvah video?
[5:45] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[5:45] I feel like calling it a flop doesn't take into account all the effort that went into just
[5:49] giving birth to it in the first place.
[5:51] Yeah.
[5:51] Sure.
Jordan Morris
[5:52] I could see this being something that they showed at the like company Christmas party
[5:56] for the hotel it was filmed at.
[6:00] Like everybody gets, like everybody has a little cameo and you like clap when Dan from HR pops
Dan McCoy
[6:06] up.
[6:07] In the background, someone's just staring at John Travolta, obviously.
Elliott Kalan
[6:10] Considering this is, this is a, this is one thing we should say about that.
[6:13] This is a movie directed by Ives, which is Randall Ives Emmett, the, the actual real life
[6:18] basis of the character Turtle on Entourage.
[6:21] So that is the pedigree that this movie has.
Dan McCoy
[6:23] Yeah.
[6:24] Interesting.
[6:24] Yeah.
[6:25] Okay.
[6:25] Well, when I say a critical or commercial flop, in this case, uh, I put this movie on the
[6:31] docket in part because it did show up on a lot of like worst of last year lists.
[6:38] Uh, and it's got big stars in it.
[6:40] Well, that's the thing.
[6:40] This would be huge.
[6:41] This would definitely qualify for a, I think a small timber movie, if not for the fact that
[6:46] it has, uh, you know, some recognizable names in it.
[6:49] Uh, John Travolta, of course, foremost among them, but also Gina Gershon, Lucas Haas.
[6:55] Uh, is that it?
[6:56] Quavo of the Migos?
[6:57] Did we get out of them?
[6:59] Did we run out of them?
[7:00] Oh, Quavo.
Elliott Kalan
[7:00] There's also, Quavo from the Migos.
[7:02] Is it Quavo?
[7:03] Quavo?
[7:03] Quavo?
[7:03] But one of the members of the Migos.
[7:05] Huge group.
[7:05] Huge hip hop.
[7:06] Oh, okay.
[7:06] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[7:07] That's who that is.
[7:07] I was like, who's this one named fellow?
Elliott Kalan
[7:11] And then a number of other actors and actresses who are not as recognizable.
Dan McCoy
[7:16] And this is a kind of in that, uh, geezer teaser, uh, genre of film where.
[7:23] What's a geezer teaser?
Elliott Kalan
[7:24] It's like they, they, they, these movies are mostly used for tickling the testicles of a
[7:29] woman.
Jordan Morris
[7:30] Well, and the taint.
[7:31] Yeah.
[7:31] That's when you tell your grandpa you're going to Sizzler, but then you never go to Sizzler.
[7:37] We might go soon.
[7:39] Yay!
[7:39] They put it on after crank yankers.
[7:41] Now we got geezer teasers.
[7:44] Just once you yank your crank, you gotta tease your geezer.
[7:48] Coming up soon on Comedy Central in 1998.
Elliott Kalan
[7:52] Crank yankers, then geezer teasers, then The Daily Show with John Stewart.
[7:56] Then another crank yankers.
[8:00] We gotta get your numbers up.
Stuart Wellington
[8:02] Geezer teasers is blasting out of the water, guys.
[8:04] And you have this amazing lead in from geezer teasers.
Elliott Kalan
[8:06] Then what would, what would, what would Comedy Central show after that?
[8:09] Like Stewardess School or Ninja Academy or something like that?
Dan McCoy
[8:12] Uh, maybe in his like early years.
[8:13] You guys are threatening me with a good time.
[8:15] Probably PCU, PCU.
Elliott Kalan
[8:16] PCU.
[8:17] Or like, yeah.
[8:17] Or reruns of Whose Line Is In Any Way for like four straight hours.
[8:21] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[8:21] Um, sounds like a good time.
Elliott Kalan
[8:23] Uh, so, no, this geezer teaser.
[8:25] We didn't know how good we had it.
[8:27] We had no idea.
[8:28] Yeah.
[8:28] That was wonderful.
[8:29] Yeah, exactly.
Dan McCoy
[8:30] Uh, this is, this has been coined to.
Elliott Kalan
[8:33] Hey, hey, you know, sometimes you don't know what you got until it's gone.
[8:35] They paved Comedy Central and put up just nonstop office reruns.
[8:39] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[8:39] A lot of office reruns.
[8:40] They don't generate, I mean, it's just South Park and Daily Show, right?
[8:44] And the Daily Show.
[8:44] Are the new things.
[8:45] And Office reruns.
Elliott Kalan
[8:45] The new things?
[8:47] Well, I mean, they're producing new episodes.
[8:49] They're both like 20 years old.
Stuart Wellington
[8:50] Yeah, they're producing new episodes.
Dan McCoy
[8:51] It's not, it's the thing that's not a rerun.
Stuart Wellington
[8:53] I mean, we've entered a world where my parents now ask me if I've watched South Park because
[8:57] they watch South Park all the time.
[8:58] Yeah, because it's an American institution now.
Elliott Kalan
[9:00] And then meanwhile, Comedy Central is not making new episodes of Small Doses, not making new episodes
[9:04] of Limbo Land, not making new episodes of Ted Goes to the Orient.
[9:07] No vacant lots.
[9:09] No episodes of vacant lot.
[9:10] Exactly, yeah.
[9:11] Exit 57.
[9:13] Exit 57.
[9:14] That's right.
[9:14] I was going to say Route 57, which is actually the road you take to get to the Heinz factory.
[9:17] What happened to Higgins Boys and Gruber?
Jordan Morris
[9:19] Well, man, I haven't seen one of those in a long time.
[9:20] I do hear they're working on a soft reboot of Crowed Man Dune.
Stuart Wellington
[9:25] That's like the only name I reckon.
Jordan Morris
[9:29] That was when I worked for a Comedy Central show at midnight, and that was always when we
[9:34] needed to take a shot at the network.
[9:36] Just a playful rib at our corporate moms and pops.
Elliott Kalan
[9:42] Just nipping the hand that feeds you a little bit.
Jordan Morris
[9:44] Yes, we would always make a reference to Crowed Man Dune.
[9:48] And the flaming sword of fire.
Elliott Kalan
[9:49] Yeah, yeah.
Jordan Morris
[9:50] Sure, sure.
[9:50] Anyway.
Dan McCoy
[9:51] To answer a question posed long ago, a geezer teaser is a phrase that has been coined to
[9:57] describe these movies.
[9:58] Like, often, you know, funded with a lot of, like, overseas money and shot overseas on
[10:04] the cheap where you get an aging star.
[10:07] And that is what, you know.
[10:09] Who's the aging star?
[10:09] Helps you in this one.
[10:10] In this one.
[10:11] Lucasfilm.
[10:12] But, like, I mean, you know, before, you know, sadly, dementia, like, prevented him
[10:17] from making more movies.
[10:18] Like, a lot of those Bruce Willis late period movies, that was the genre.
Elliott Kalan
[10:22] Because it was, I think Bruce Willis helped to, I mean, it's the kind of thing that, to
[10:26] be honest, international movies have been doing for decades.
[10:28] Where they take someone who is a big name, who is maybe no longer headlining big American
[10:34] movies, and they say, we'll pay you a certain amount of money to be in it.
[10:36] And Bruce Willis was the modern pioneer of it, where he literally had a rate, where he's
[10:40] like, if you pay me this amount of money, I will do, you know, three days of shooting
[10:44] for your movie.
[10:44] It doesn't matter what the movie is.
[10:46] It could be a snuff film.
[10:48] It could be, you know.
[10:49] He didn't say that.
[10:50] But, and John Travolta is certainly in that place in his career.
[10:54] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[10:55] That being said, guys, let's meet our geezers.
[10:59] John Travolta.
Jordan Morris
[11:01] I love that this is now a branded segment.
[11:03] I love it.
[11:05] Looking more and more.
[11:06] Come on down, but not too fast, okay?
[11:08] Now, I want to make it very clear.
Elliott Kalan
[11:09] The geezer label does not apply to Gina Gershon, one of my favorites.
[11:13] Of course not.
[11:13] Who is great in this.
[11:15] Great in everything.
[11:15] I love her.
Dan McCoy
[11:16] Yeah.
[11:17] You know, and I'm, he's not, he's certainly thrown away his goodwill, but I'm, you know,
[11:24] I'm still fond of John Travolta.
[11:25] I don't want to like make, undo fun of him.
[11:27] But I will say, after claiming that I won't make fun of him, that he's looking in this more
[11:32] and more like a wooly willy where you've put all the iron shavings on the beard area.
[11:37] And he, he, he, he's, I feel like his like neck vertebrae have been fused or something.
Elliott Kalan
[11:44] I'm not sure.
[11:44] I mean, he is, at this point, John Travolta is 70.
[11:48] He's an old man.
[11:48] He's going to be 72 years old.
[11:50] This, it, just a couple of weeks after we record this.
[11:52] And I think the dark beard is intended to make him seem younger than he is.
[11:57] But instead, it's, there's a certain amount of, um, without it, like non CGI Robert De Niro
[12:03] and the Irishman about it, where it's like, he moves like an older man.
[12:06] Uh, you know, he's trying to look like a younger man.
Dan McCoy
[12:08] I mean, I would, I mean, let's give him this.
[12:10] I would, I would kill to look that good at 72.
[12:12] I mean, like he's.
[12:13] He looks better than you do now, Dan.
[12:14] Oh, well, I don't know about, I mean, the whole Riker thing people have been saying.
[12:19] I mean, his beard does look pretty good.
[12:22] You're a good point.
[12:22] Good point.
[12:23] Yeah, Dan, you do look like Riker.
[12:24] My beard at least looks less like Iron Shavings.
Elliott Kalan
[12:27] You look like, you look like Riker when Riker meant something.
[12:30] Mm-hmm.
[12:32] Thanks.
[12:32] You're right.
[12:33] He's, I apologize.
[12:34] He doesn't look better than you do.
[12:35] I mean, it's an even 50-50 split.
Dan McCoy
[12:36] Thank you.
[12:37] So, speaking of Travolta, uh, he and Gina Gershon are at a fake looking beach.
[12:44] Do we have to mention that this is a sequel?
[12:47] Yeah, let's.
[12:47] I think we should.
Stuart Wellington
[12:48] So, something we didn't know going into the movie.
[12:50] Yeah.
[12:50] Well, you got started in the plot of the movie.
[12:53] I figured we should mention that the movie's a sequel.
[12:55] Well, I did have a break in here where I go back.
Jordan Morris
[12:57] There's not a number.
[12:58] There's not a subtitle.
[13:00] No.
[13:00] And it takes a couple minutes into the movie to realize that this is a sequel to Tar.
Elliott Kalan
[13:05] Not so.
[13:07] They're watching, they're watching a news story about Tar on the beginning of the show.
[13:12] Yeah.
[13:12] Oh, this is the Tarverse.
Stuart Wellington
[13:14] Somebody's playing, what is that, Monster Hunter?
[13:16] Monster Hunter.
[13:16] Yeah.
[13:16] She's conducting a Monster Hunter concert.
[13:19] Oh, this does take place in the TCU.
Jordan Morris
[13:21] Oh, okay.
[13:21] Sure, yeah.
[13:22] Okay.
[13:22] And then someone says, cancel culture has really gotten out of control.
Elliott Kalan
[13:25] And that's how you know.
[13:27] All joking aside, the experience of watching this movie, not knowing that it is a sequel to
[13:31] a movie I've never heard of called Cash Out, was real, it did make me think I was being gaslit
[13:37] by the movie.
[13:38] Because the characters are presented as if you already know who they are.
[13:41] They're referring to events that you didn't see happen.
[13:45] You don't know what's going on.
[13:46] And I was like, wow, this is, I mean, this is pretty kind of avant-garde for this low-budget
[13:51] movie that it reminds me of, I once had to read for, I worked at a company that was looking
[13:58] at different intellectual properties to see if they were interested in adapting them at
[14:02] this small film production company.
[14:03] And they had me read one of the Dortmunder novels, and it was like the 12th in the series,
[14:07] and I had never read any of them before.
[14:09] And I was like, oh, wow, these characters have really rich backstories.
[14:12] They're always referring to like adventures they had before.
[14:15] And this is like reading a Marvel comic 30 years in.
[14:18] But that's what the opening of this movie is like.
[14:20] They expect the audience to be very aware of what happened in Cash Out, just fleeting references.
[14:26] They're like, you'll pick it up.
[14:27] You'll pick it up.
[14:27] You know this already.
[14:28] Cash Out is me.
Dan McCoy
[14:28] I mean, for the most part, you can watch this comfortably without knowing.
[14:34] I mean, like, the very beginning, I think, is confusing.
[14:37] And then there's some stuff at the end where I'm like, oh, okay, I guess this is again,
[14:41] like, flashing.
[14:42] But, like, you don't have to know that much.
[14:44] But I'm going to give you a quick summary based on Wikipedia.
[14:50] Ooh, okay.
[14:51] So, in the first one, Travolta, who plays Mason Goddard, was a criminal mastermind.
[14:57] He was supposedly – like, at the beginning, you think he's unknowingly in this relationship with an undercover FBI agent, which is Gershon's role.
[15:06] But she was played by Kristen Davis in the first movie.
[15:09] So, this is actually –
Elliott Kalan
[15:10] They recast her?
[15:11] Yeah, Gershon.
[15:12] And what that teaches you is that Gina Gershon has a lower quote than Kristen Davis.
[15:18] That's what we can infer from that.
[15:20] That's a sad state of the world.
[15:21] Or maybe Kristen Davis was just double booked.
[15:23] I don't know.
[15:23] And that character's name is Amelia Decker.
[15:26] I think it's very funny that Mason, who is in love with this character, calls her Decker throughout the film.
[15:31] For most of the time, he refers to her by her last name, which is really funny.
[15:34] It's something that you see in other movies sometimes where, like, the wife calls the husband by his last name, and you're like, I know everybody else does.
[15:41] It seems weird for you to do that, you know.
Dan McCoy
[15:43] But there's apparently some, like, movie opening action incident, which, you know, where he finds out that she's FBI, and he retires from criminality.
[15:50] But his brother Sean, Lucas Haas, convinces him to do a heist of some crypto.
[15:56] But that hard drive also has blackmail information for some U.S. officials, which leads to a hostage situation where his ex is a main negotiator.
Jordan Morris
[16:05] When Lucas Haas is involved, it's always a hostage situation.
[16:08] So this, okay, so, like, one of the several MacGuffins in this movie is something they call the dirt box.
[16:15] Is this the origin of the dirt box, Dan?
[16:18] Is it a box with all this blackmail stuff on it?
Dan McCoy
[16:22] I only got that at the end of the movie when they were like, this is the dirt box.
[16:27] And I'm like, what the fuck?
[16:28] Why aren't you explaining to me what this is?
[16:29] And then I'm like, oh, dirt, dirt, blackmail dirt.
[16:32] I get it.
Jordan Morris
[16:33] It sounds like the name of, like, a real party animal you went to college with.
Dan McCoy
[16:39] Oh, dirt box.
[16:40] I had a good time tonight.
[16:41] What's he up to?
Jordan Morris
[16:42] Oh, he's not doing so good.
Stuart Wellington
[16:46] Dirt box died in a balcony collapse.
Dan McCoy
[16:48] Oh, dirt box.
[16:51] Let's do a whole moment of silence for dirt box.
[16:53] All right, Peter.
[16:53] It does feel like.
[16:54] It wasn't the fall.
[16:55] It was that he fell into a bed of opossums.
Jordan Morris
[16:59] Oh, they're dangerous, savage creatures.
[17:01] It does sound like.
[17:02] Dirt box could be Stuart's alter ego if you wanted to have a, you know, Sasha Fierce.
Elliott Kalan
[17:06] I think if we self-produced a, like, fifth tier Revenge of the Nerds ripoff movie in another country.
[17:14] Okay.
[17:14] There'd be a character named Dirt Box who's like the booger of that movie.
[17:18] Oh, man.
Stuart Wellington
[17:19] That's my dream role, guys.
[17:20] Here comes Dirt Box.
Elliott Kalan
[17:21] You're kind of selling me on this project.
[17:23] Pussy.
Stuart Wellington
[17:25] Yeah, Dirt Box.
Elliott Kalan
[17:27] Exactly.
[17:27] They're doing Revenge of the Nerds knockoff in Argentina for no money.
[17:31] Stuart, will you play Dirt Box?
Stuart Wellington
[17:34] Play Dirt Box or become Dirt Box.
Dan McCoy
[17:37] Yeah, you're going to do a Jared Leto method.
[17:40] Stuart's going to embed himself with a bunch of, like, college-age Dirt Packs.
Stuart Wellington
[17:45] No, I'm one of you guys.
[17:47] What's up, dude?
[17:48] Six, seven.
Jordan Morris
[17:51] Yeah!
[17:52] Dirt Box!
Dan McCoy
[17:56] Anyway, the movie has a hostage situation where, like, his ex.
[18:00] Yeah, Lucas Haas is in it.
[18:00] Lucas Haas.
[18:01] His ex is the main negotiator.
[18:04] And at the end of all that, Mason faces death.
[18:07] And there's the surprise twist at the end that Amelia was on Travolta's side the whole time.
[18:12] The beginning was just a setup to make the FBI think she was loyal to them.
[18:15] But she was being his mole in the department.
[18:18] A mole.
Elliott Kalan
[18:19] Mole.
[18:19] It's a beautiful sauce.
Dan McCoy
[18:21] Yeah.
[18:21] A lot of...
[18:22] Rich.
[18:22] Very rich.
[18:23] Very rich.
[18:24] Chocolate and cinnamon.
[18:24] Very rich.
Elliott Kalan
[18:26] So that's the first movie, Cash Out.
[18:28] Because throughout this one, Lucas Haas keeps going...
[18:31] And we're done, guys.
[18:32] Yeah.
[18:33] Lucas Haas keeps going, remember the crypto drive in Seattle?
[18:37] The one I was talking about?
[18:39] And it's like, they needed a little asterisk that said, back in Cash Out.
[18:42] Smiling Stan.
[18:43] Yeah.
[18:44] Just to tell you it's a reference.
Stuart Wellington
[18:45] And you mentioned Smiling Stan.
[18:47] So I do want to point out that this movie is...
[18:49] The movie we're talking about, High Rollers, is written by kind of flophouse royalty.
[18:55] The writer was the writer and director of a movie called I Know Who Killed Me.
[19:00] Oh, wow.
[19:00] The first appearance of Elliot Kalen, right?
[19:03] Or...
[19:03] Yeah.
[19:04] On the podcast.
Elliott Kalan
[19:04] I wasn't in that movie.
[19:05] Check out episode eight, Ed.
[19:09] Daffy Dan.
[19:11] Smile and story.
[19:12] There's a cut.
[19:12] There's some other...
[19:13] There was some other Flophouse connection.
[19:17] John Travolta.
[19:18] No, that...
[19:19] I think...
Elliott Kalan
[19:19] From the fan.
[19:20] I think Ives also produced another movie that we did on the show.
[19:25] I'm going to take another look real quick.
[19:26] That tracks.
Dan McCoy
[19:28] I once met a bunch of people on the road to St. Ives.
[19:31] Hmm.
[19:32] Mm-hmm.
[19:33] Yeah.
[19:33] A lot of cats and wives.
[19:34] A lot of wives, these guys.
Elliott Kalan
[19:36] A lot of wives.
[19:36] Alex Cross, he produced, which we did.
[19:39] He also was a producer on Bad Lieutenant, Portal Call, New Orleans.
[19:42] That's a great movie.
[19:43] That's a great movie.
[19:43] Righteous Kill, which I think we also did.
[19:45] Mm-hmm.
[19:45] He was a producer on The Wicker Man.
[19:47] He was a producer on.
[19:49] Mm-hmm.
[19:49] So, yeah, he's done plenty of Flophouse covered stuff.
Jordan Morris
[19:53] Great.
[19:54] So, he does movies, but only as someone from Face Off is involved.
[19:57] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[19:59] Yeah.
[20:01] Well, speaking of Face Off, so Travolta and Gershon are at this beach.
[20:05] Speaking of Face Off, Dan, please stop.
[20:06] Taking your Face Off.
[20:09] It's hot in here.
[20:11] They're at this beach.
[20:12] They're 37th since retirement.
[20:13] They're, you know, celebrating being successful criminals.
[20:18] And they're, you know, Lucas Haas is there.
[20:22] Anton is there.
[20:23] The whole family.
[20:24] The whole family.
[20:25] Isn't it someone's wedding, right?
[20:27] Yeah.
[20:27] Anton, well, I'm getting there.
[20:28] Anton is officiating a beach wedding of people that I write down here.
[20:32] I assume we met in the first movie.
[20:34] It's Link and, what is it, like Cam or something?
[20:38] He's like a Carrie.
[20:40] Karis.
[20:40] Karis.
Elliott Kalan
[20:41] So, Link, who is their tech specialist.
[20:43] Which is a reference to, what, Leo Karax, the director?
[20:47] Yeah, I think so.
[20:48] It's the holy rollers.
[20:49] It's for high rollers.
[20:50] And Link is a reference to Zelda, of course.
[20:52] Right.
[20:53] Right, right, right.
Jordan Morris
[20:53] So, and I think there's a couple points in this movie where you can really tell that it was put together by the very old.
[21:01] And I think Link is one of them because it seems to me the logic of, like, of the logic of that is like, oh, she's the hacker.
[21:07] So, she follows internet links.
[21:10] Like, it's like calling her microchip or something.
[21:14] Anyway, there's a couple moments like that where I'm like, oh, this was thrown together by 70-year-olds trying to make something that seemed current.
Elliott Kalan
[21:22] And Karis, is he in Cash Out?
[21:24] Because the way they're talking about him.
[21:26] So, he used to work for.
Dan McCoy
[21:27] He worked at the bank where the thing was held that they were heisting, I guess.
Stuart Wellington
[21:31] And he obviously fell in love with the hacker involved in the heist.
[21:34] Right.
[21:34] It happens.
Elliott Kalan
[21:35] And he's played by the actor Swin Temel.
[21:37] His first name is Swin.
[21:38] Swin, cool.
[21:39] Oh, he looks like a Swin.
[21:40] According to Wikipedia, he was in the movie In Time, another Flophouse cover.
[21:44] Okay.
[21:45] Yes, connections.
[21:46] We're running out of movies, guys.
[21:47] We've covered them all, yeah.
Jordan Morris
[21:49] Anyway, this wedding.
[21:50] And, you know, I like this guy whose backstory is like, I worked at a bank, and that's like what he contributes
[21:57] to the heist crew.
[21:58] At some point, to like show his bona fides, he just goes, hey, I know finance.
[22:04] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[22:04] There are a couple members of this crew where I'm not quite sure what they, like Anton,
[22:08] who's played by Quavo.
[22:09] I'm not really sure what he does as far as well.
[22:12] No.
[22:12] He doesn't have a specialty the way that Link does.
[22:14] He's like fun to have around.
[22:16] Yeah.
Jordan Morris
[22:16] I think Link could just take care of this whole heist.
Elliott Kalan
[22:21] Pretty much.
[22:22] Link does most of the work on the heist.
Jordan Morris
[22:24] Link does most of the work.
[22:25] But then.
[22:25] Breakout character.
[22:26] Yeah.
[22:28] But then you need a guy to explain what a Roth IRA is.
Elliott Kalan
[22:31] And that's where our finance guy comes in.
[22:34] Because I don't know.
[22:34] Boy, tell me.
[22:35] They say you need one.
[22:37] Once this heist is over, I don't think I'm going to diversify.
[22:40] Hold on.
[22:41] Hold on.
[22:41] Let me explain to you why you should.
[22:43] You have too much money in your checking account.
Jordan Morris
[22:45] It's not doing anything there.
[22:46] I want to make the money work for you.
[22:48] I know finance.
Elliott Kalan
[22:50] It does.
[22:50] I know finance.
Dan McCoy
[22:51] You can't keep all the money in the dirt box.
Elliott Kalan
[22:53] You got to spread it around.
[22:55] What?
[22:55] I have a box full of dirt.
[22:57] I put my money in there.
[22:58] Buried.
[22:59] Bury it so that people can't find it.
[23:01] There you go.
Stuart Wellington
[23:02] That's why people launder money is because it was in the dirt box.
[23:05] It's got so much dirt on it.
Dan McCoy
[23:07] They literally haven't made it out of the first scene of this book.
Elliott Kalan
[23:10] Look at how dirty this $1 bill is.
[23:12] It looks like George Washington just stuck his face in a chocolate cake.
[23:14] What are you doing?
[23:15] Why are you keeping $1 bills in the dirt box?
[23:18] Just put them in your pocket.
[23:19] Just put them in the pocket.
[23:20] So this wedding is-
[23:21] My dirt pocket?
[23:22] Why is your pocket full of dirt?
[23:25] This wedding-
[23:25] In case someone reaches their hand in, I don't want them to be able to find the money inside.
[23:28] It's actually a good idea.
[23:29] It's actually a really good idea.
Jordan Morris
[23:31] Stay out of there.
[23:31] Pickpocketing is a problem.
Dan McCoy
[23:34] They made a whole movie about it.
[23:36] It's called pickpocketing.
[23:37] Yeah.
[23:37] Sounds good.
[23:38] This wedding is interrupted not by an objection, but a yacht blowing up.
Elliott Kalan
[23:42] Some would say that's the biggest objection.
Dan McCoy
[23:45] Yeah.
[23:45] Yeah.
[23:45] If anyone does not approve of this union-
[23:47] Rochester's wife was on the yacht.
Jordan Morris
[23:49] If anyone does not approve of this union, please blow up a yacht.
[23:55] Oh, so many yachts.
[23:57] Wow.
Stuart Wellington
[23:58] These killer whales really don't want you to get married.
Dan McCoy
[24:01] So a bunch of gunmen working for Salazar, who's the crime lord they ripped off in the first movie.
Stuart Wellington
[24:08] Salazar is such a classic crime lord name.
[24:10] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[24:11] It is a casually racist crime lord name.
Stuart Wellington
[24:13] Yes, it is a casually racist crime lord name.
[24:16] But then we get a serious, shitty comic book bad guy name as the other bad guy in this movie.
[24:23] And I don't want to spoil it.
Elliott Kalan
[24:23] No, no.
[24:24] That is a wonderful, terrible bad guy name.
Dan McCoy
[24:27] Yeah, yeah.
[24:28] So some armed people show up with vans and helicopters.
[24:32] They kidnap Amelia, Gina Gershon.
[24:35] There's a car chase.
Elliott Kalan
[24:37] That was when I was like, this better not be the end of Gina Gershon in the movie.
[24:40] I will not accept that.
[24:41] Luckily it's not.
Stuart Wellington
[24:41] And it's the big exciting opening.
[24:43] Isn't that what Netflix tells all their filmmakers?
[24:47] They got to have a big exciting action sequence right up top.
[24:50] And they deliver.
Elliott Kalan
[24:51] You got to catch the audience's attention within like the first 30 to 45 seconds.
[24:55] Netflix is always worried that the audience has no tolerance for anything.
[24:59] It's just watching with their faint thumb hovering over the off button, just waiting for a moment to check out.
[25:04] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[25:06] I'll hit play and then you hit skip as soon as fuck was a fool.
Elliott Kalan
[25:11] But this car chase, could you guys follow what was going on?
[25:15] I had real trouble understanding what was happening.
Jordan Morris
[25:17] I mean, all the action scenes in this movie are incoherent.
[25:20] Before we get to the car chase, what happened?
Stuart Wellington
[25:23] Like, so they take Gina Gershon, right?
[25:25] Take her.
Stuart Wellington
[25:25] But then all of a sudden, he's just driving a car.
[25:29] Yeah.
[25:29] Like, it's crazy.
Jordan Morris
[25:30] And they don't show him getting in.
[25:31] And I didn't know what car he was in for most of these things.
[25:34] I'm like, I assume it's this muscle car that it's like a, you know, it's kind of like a Dom Toretto muscle car.
Stuart Wellington
[25:41] As opposed to a sub Toretto.
[25:43] And if they've been to all these beaches, is this like a rental?
Elliott Kalan
[25:47] Yeah.
[25:48] I thought he was in that like van, that like black van.
[25:50] But maybe that's the one she was in.
[25:51] He might have been.
Jordan Morris
[25:52] Honestly, that might have been the car he was in.
Elliott Kalan
[25:54] I don't know.
[25:55] And also, it's like the guys arrived in helicopters.
[25:57] Did they leave the helicopters behind and get into camp?
[26:00] Like, just stuff her in a helicopter and take off.
[26:02] He can't follow you in that.
Stuart Wellington
[26:03] We don't even see the guys who are holding them at gunpoint leave.
[26:07] Just all of a sudden, he's chasing them.
Elliott Kalan
[26:11] It's like Memento.
[26:12] He suddenly blacked out between like, oh, I'm in a car.
[26:15] Yeah.
[26:15] Am I chasing them?
[26:16] Oh, they're chasing me.
[26:17] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[26:17] If there was a time jump and he was driving a car and his clothes were covered in blood,
[26:21] I'd be like, oh, that's kind of crazy.
[26:23] But Travolta is...
Elliott Kalan
[26:24] Or there's a time jump and suddenly he's an old man in the year 2242.
[26:28] And he's like, oh, why did the robots outlaw rock and roll?
[26:33] Yeah.
[26:34] Why didn't that happen, Dan?
Dan McCoy
[26:36] Because it's too powerful, Stuart.
[26:38] You can't outlaw.
[26:39] You can't stop the rock.
[26:40] You cannot stop.
Elliott Kalan
[26:42] Sticks has already run that war game.
[26:43] And it turns out rock and roll will find a way.
Dan McCoy
[26:46] You know, Travolta's shot at from a helicopter.
[26:48] He crashes the car.
[26:50] His 70-year-old bones do not shatter.
[26:52] He goes back to find that their resources have been wiped out.
[26:55] Dan, I hate to break it to you.
Elliott Kalan
[26:56] This was all faked.
Dan McCoy
[26:57] This didn't actually happen.
[26:58] Okay.
[27:00] Travolta intuits pretty quickly that this is because someone wants them to do a job.
[27:05] And he goes around sort of just explaining to the audience who everyone is.
[27:09] He's like, but we can do it.
[27:10] Link with your computer skills.
[27:12] And you and the other guy.
Stuart Wellington
[27:14] I actually think this movie would have been funnier if he had shattered all his bones
[27:18] and he had to do this whole heist from like a wheelchair in like a big body cast.
[27:23] Yeah.
Jordan Morris
[27:23] But it does kind of seem like how these people are in these movies in a weird way.
[27:28] Like there are just shots in this movie where it's clear John Travolta is not in the room with anybody else.
[27:33] They had five days with him.
[27:36] He like ran around a warehouse for a little bit.
[27:40] But yeah, I would think that at some point in one of these movies they have to be –
[27:43] and someone's in a hospital bed because it like wouldn't make sense.
Dan McCoy
[27:46] And speaking of how little time they have with the stars, I have written down here,
[27:50] Travolta's giving a performance like someone who was handed the script two minutes ago.
[27:54] Like everything he says.
[27:55] Very possible.
Elliott Kalan
[27:57] He's still – I'll say this for him.
[27:59] He's still charismatic.
[28:00] He's charming.
[28:01] He's still charming.
[28:02] He's got charisma.
[28:03] I don't buy him as an intense professional criminal who is then taking on the role of another person to pull off a heist, you know?
[28:14] But still.
Stuart Wellington
[28:14] I believe that he's like a silly rich guy just like wandering into the scene, which is the character he's supposed to be playing.
Dan McCoy
[28:21] I guess so.
Elliott Kalan
[28:21] And which is what he is, I guess, in real life.
[28:23] But the fact that –
Dan McCoy
[28:24] Silly rich guy.
[28:25] He doesn't seem to have like – he wasn't given time to prepare and the lines are so stilted.
[28:30] Like the movie feels like the cast is trying to improvise an action movie often the way they say things.
[28:38] It does feel like they're making it up as they go along.
Elliott Kalan
[28:40] If I would say – if it was – if it reached the level of improvisational mischief and delight of a movie like Selene and Julie go boating, I would say that it is tapping into the childlike nature of play in that they are making it as they go along.
[28:55] But that's not really the case.
[28:56] What it really does feel like is like they're coming up with problems in the script and they're like, let me say something that kind of gets around that.
Jordan Morris
[29:03] There's a moment like that that I made note of.
[29:09] This is in the – later in the Gina Gershon story, she's like trying to escape her kidnapper.
[29:14] And she like tries to like put one over on him and then ends up having to like beat people up.
[29:19] And she says, can't help a girl for trying.
[29:24] I think what she was going for was you can't blame a girl for trying.
[29:29] But she said, can't help a girl for trying.
[29:31] And they just left it in the movie.
[29:33] And that would make sense.
[29:35] Like, okay, there's nothing in the script.
[29:37] You just have to say something.
[29:38] Say a cliche.
[29:40] Say, you know, we've got company.
[29:42] And then they can't really remember it.
[29:44] Very fucking weird.
Stuart Wellington
[29:45] And she says it and they're like, well, I don't want to say Gina Gershon is wrong.
[29:50] She's so hot.
[29:51] Her family said that.
Elliott Kalan
[29:52] I would bet you that she said it and then she was like, wait, that didn't come out right.
[29:57] And they said, moving on.
[29:58] We got another set up.
[30:01] It's fine.
[30:02] It's fine.
[30:02] It's fine.
[30:03] We're getting into golden time.
[30:04] That's a wrap for Gina Gershon, everybody.
[30:06] She's like, wait, can I just do it one more time?
[30:08] No, no, it's good.
[30:09] It's good.
Dan McCoy
[30:09] I'll record her voice memo.
[30:11] I'll send it to you.
[30:11] No, no.
[30:14] Can't help a girl for trying.
[30:15] One of my favorite inexplicable things.
Elliott Kalan
[30:18] Can't try a gurp for lopping.
[30:20] Yeah, it's good.
[30:21] It's good.
[30:21] Just keep it.
[30:22] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[30:22] Let me power through to this first very inexplicable thing.
[30:26] Sure.
[30:26] In this movie.
[30:28] It's confirmed that they're, you know, wanted for this job.
[30:32] They get a call.
[30:33] They go to their hotel to check out, I guess.
[30:36] And the FBI agents are there.
[30:38] They give chase.
[30:39] And they all escape by jumping fully clothed into a pool to reach the other side.
[30:44] And I'm like, there's no way that that's the only way you can get to the other side of this fucking pool.
Elliott Kalan
[30:49] So the idea that is the other side of the pool outside the FBI's jurisdiction?
[30:53] Yes.
[30:53] How are they?
[30:54] How?
[30:54] It is so unclear how this helps them to escape a team of FBI agents.
[30:58] It's bonkers.
Stuart Wellington
[30:58] And they give the impression that this jump into the pool is dangerous, but the way it's shot is very close up.
[31:05] So you have no idea how far they're jumping.
Jordan Morris
[31:07] They don't show them in relation to the pool.
[31:09] I'm sure in actuality, they just jumped off the diving board that was at the hotel.
[31:13] It looks like they jumped off the side of the pool.
[31:16] Yeah.
[31:16] That's why it doesn't make any sense.
Dan McCoy
[31:17] It looks like, wait, you have to go through the pool to get to the other side of the pool?
[31:20] Let me introduce you to an idea called walking around.
Stuart Wellington
[31:24] It's like little kid logic where you're like, no, no, no.
[31:26] The rules are.
[31:27] Otherwise, you step on lava and you die.
Elliott Kalan
[31:30] They're trying to replicate Butch Cassidy and the Sandwich Kid jumping off a cliff into a river to get away from guys.
[31:38] But it's just the side of a pool into a pool.
[31:40] And I didn't understand.
[31:41] I was so baffled by this.
[31:43] I was like, how did this help them escape?
[31:45] I don't understand.
[31:46] The FBI is like, hey, they're all wet.
[31:48] I don't want to touch them.
[31:50] But also in the very next shot where they're running to the car, bone dry.
[31:55] They ran really fast.
[31:57] They ran through the last stage of a car wash.
[31:59] And those huge blower fans destroyed them on.
[32:02] This was literally a little kid logic.
[32:06] Like, yeah, we jumped in a pool.
[32:07] So we're safe, right?
[32:08] We're like 10 minutes in the movie.
[32:09] And I was like, hell yeah, we're cooking here.
[32:12] By this point in the movie, I was like, this movie expects me to know who all these characters are already.
[32:17] I saw a car chase I did not understand.
[32:19] I don't know how they got away from the FBI this way.
[32:22] Like, it's – the movie is making it very easy on the heroes and very hard on the viewer.
[32:27] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[32:28] So they all take a plane somewhere and get a –
Stuart Wellington
[32:31] I do like watching them all like clown car out of the littlest private jet.
Dan McCoy
[32:37] And they're getting a briefing about this job that they're being blackmailed into in a plane hangar.
[32:42] And what it is, they're supposed to rob –
[32:44] They're being –
[32:44] And here's the name that's –
[32:46] By Mr. –
[32:46] By Mr. –
[32:46] Hold on.
[32:47] Okay.
[32:47] This is the name that Stuart –
[32:48] I don't want to –
[32:49] Stuart teased before.
[32:51] Zade Black.
[32:53] They got to rob.
[32:53] Zade Black.
[32:54] Zade Black.
[32:54] Zade Black.
[32:55] This is a shrimping magnate.
Elliott Kalan
[32:57] This is –
[32:57] Okay.
[32:58] Who owns the casino too.
[32:59] A plus like evil wrestler name.
[33:01] They're being told this by Mr. Flowers who works for Salazar.
[33:04] Okay.
[33:05] And Mr. Flowers is like, you got to rob Zade Black.
[33:07] And it's so funny.
[33:08] He's like, yeah, he made his money in shrimping.
[33:10] He owned a shrimp factory and then he bought a casino.
[33:12] And you will find out later in the movie the casino and the shrimp factory are right next to each other.
[33:16] And are connected by ventilation ducts.
[33:19] So it's like how bad does this casino smell that it's right next to a shrimp factory?
Stuart Wellington
[33:23] Famously good smelling places, casinos.
Elliott Kalan
[33:26] And there's –
[33:26] I mean, but it's got to smell better than a place where seafood is processed, right?
Stuart Wellington
[33:31] I feel like the like pall of cigarette smoke would cover the shrimp smell.
[33:36] Yeah, that's right.
Elliott Kalan
[33:37] Casino is the one thing that smells worse than a shrimp factory.
[33:39] Then turn it around.
[33:41] Do you want your factory where you are processing food to be full of the smells of people smoking cigarettes inside a casino?
[33:47] No, of course not.
[33:48] And crying.
[33:49] Yeah.
Jordan Morris
[33:50] There's a pretty cool scene where like Flowers is explaining the shrimp magnate and he's like, this guy made his money in shrimp.
[33:58] Barbecue shrimp.
[33:59] Shrimp salad.
[34:00] Shrimp sandwich.
[34:01] Shrimp and duvet.
[34:04] He goes on for so long.
[34:05] They're trying to get this movie over 85 minutes.
Elliott Kalan
[34:08] And that was the reason why they then put out the very successful Flowers Gump Shrimp restaurant franchise.
Stuart Wellington
[34:14] Do you guys ever think it's weird that there's an actual restaurant, the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company?
[34:22] I think it's pretty weird.
[34:23] Yes.
Jordan Morris
[34:23] It's a restaurant based on one movie.
Elliott Kalan
[34:26] A movie that came out –
[34:26] A movie that came out –
[34:26] A movie that came out –
[34:27] For that one movie.
[34:28] A movie that came out 32 years ago.
[34:31] Those restaurants are still growing strong.
[34:33] And it's not like that's the main thing you walk out of Forrest Gump thinking about is shrimp.
[34:37] The movie is not about shrimp.
[34:39] Like it's –
Dan McCoy
[34:39] I mean, my wife might.
[34:40] She really likes shrimp.
[34:41] Okay.
[34:41] Well, that's fair.
[34:42] That's fair.
Stuart Wellington
[34:42] Has anyone ever watched Forrest Gump on their phone while in that restaurant?
Elliott Kalan
[34:48] Probably, yeah.
[34:49] Yeah, they call it gump gooning.
[34:51] I wouldn't advise it, yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[34:52] Is it like when you go into a Margaritaville, they're playing live performances by Jimmy Buffett.
[34:58] Are they constantly playing Forrest Gump?
Dan McCoy
[35:01] Yeah, they're playing like you have a fortunate son.
[35:03] You're in Vietnam now.
Jordan Morris
[35:04] I've been to a Bubba Gump embarrassingly recently.
[35:07] And I can say, yeah, it is –
[35:09] How are the doughboys?
[35:10] Shamefully, I just went to eat, not to talk about it on a podcast.
[35:17] What's the point?
[35:18] I just went because I needed food and have a really good time.
Dan McCoy
[35:22] So wait, hold on.
[35:22] In this briefing, I want to call out –
[35:24] Wait, one last thing I want to say about Bubba Gump shrimp, which is they are missing something.
Elliott Kalan
[35:29] If the servers – when the servers give you the specials, they need to deliver it the way Bubba does when he talks about shrimp.
[35:34] They should say it that way.
[35:35] They're really missing out.
[35:36] Anyway, they're leaving money on the table.
[35:38] Dan, what were you going to say?
Dan McCoy
[35:39] Well, in this briefing scene, Link proves her bona fides by being able to unblur the camera footage better than like the guy giving the briefing.
[35:50] And then Travolta says, can you use this tech to make us new identities?
[35:54] And she says, fuck yeah.
[35:55] I'm like, what, the fucking secure camera?
Elliott Kalan
[35:59] Like this tech, like a computer?
Jordan Morris
[36:01] Yes, certainly.
[36:02] I can't do that.
[36:03] This movie is written and made entirely by people whose grandkids have to help them unlock their computers.
[36:10] Like, yeah, it just reeks of that.
Elliott Kalan
[36:13] But later on, they have the technology –
[36:14] She turned the motion smoothing off.
[36:18] You're looking at it in the wrong aspect ratio.
Jordan Morris
[36:20] Oh, that's why.
[36:21] And then George Travolta says to Link, can you help me watch Landman?
[36:25] How do I watch Landman?
[36:29] Is this where I get it?
Elliott Kalan
[36:32] This is hitting too close to home.
[36:33] Literally this weekend, I have to call my mother-in-law so that I can walk her through inputting our passwords for streaming services so that she can have them again.
Jordan Morris
[36:41] What time does Yellowstone start?
Elliott Kalan
[36:45] No, it's streaming, Dad.
[36:46] You don't have to wait for it.
[36:47] You can watch it whenever you want.
[36:48] 8 o'clock.
[36:49] Is it on at 8 o'clock?
[36:50] Do I Tivo it?
Dan McCoy
[36:52] So we meet everyone in their new identities.
[36:55] And one of these new identities –
Elliott Kalan
[36:56] Is it on an email?
[36:57] Is Yellowstone in an email?
Dan McCoy
[36:59] No.
[36:59] One of these new identities is Kai Ritchie, which sounds too much like Guy Ritchie.
[37:04] Yes.
[37:05] I don't understand.
[37:07] Travolta's name –
Elliott Kalan
[37:08] It's Guy Ritchie's martial arts pseudonym.
[37:10] Right, right, right, right.
Dan McCoy
[37:12] Travolta's name is Donovan Cage.
[37:14] And I wonder whether that was a shout-out to Nick Cage because of the face-off connection with Gershon being there.
[37:19] I don't know.
[37:19] Wait a minute.
Elliott Kalan
[37:19] Donovan Cage is a real-life billionaire, Dan.
[37:22] Yeah, that's true.
[37:22] And the face-off connection with John Travolta.
Dan McCoy
[37:25] I said that with Travolta and Gershon being there.
Elliott Kalan
[37:27] All right.
[37:28] And you just mentioned Gershon, I thought.
[37:29] But also, Donovan Cage, I think, is actually a tip-off to the folk singer Donovan.
Stuart Wellington
[37:34] I was so excited to interrupt you.
Dan McCoy
[37:36] He didn't play you.
[37:37] Yeah, I was like, I think that even if I didn't say Travolta, the fact that I've been talking about Travolta the whole time,
[37:42] it can be assumed that I have clocked that Travolta was one of the ones whose face came off.
Elliott Kalan
[37:48] I'm like Mason Goddard.
Stuart Wellington
[37:50] He was a titular face-off.
[37:51] His last name's Goddard?
[37:52] I forgot his last name.
Elliott Kalan
[37:54] Yeah, he's named after the rocket pioneer, Goddard.
[37:56] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[37:58] There's like scenes of them being cool in the casino, I guess.
Elliott Kalan
[38:01] There's a lot of them walking around in suits looking at casinos.
[38:04] And this is one of those movies which is presented as if people still think casinos are the coolest places you could possibly be.
[38:13] Like Rat Pack, Sinatra, casinos, Vegas.
[38:16] When I feel like America has moved on from that idea of what a casino is.
Stuart Wellington
[38:20] There's a lot of shots of the exterior of the casino or them walking through and the music sounds very much like menu music from one of the Persona games.
Jordan Morris
[38:28] Stuart, I have written down the music.
[38:32] The music sounds like the character select screen from Marvel versus Capcom.
[38:38] It's a slightly different takes on the music.
[38:44] And also, so they set up this casino they're going to as a playground for the rich and famous.
Elliott Kalan
[38:50] Oh, it's super lux.
Jordan Morris
[38:51] But the one they're shooting at, it just looks like a nice Hilton.
[38:54] It just looks like a nice Hilton that costs like 300 bucks a night and is close to the airport.
[38:59] Like it doesn't look like a bad hotel, but there's like this is where the rich and famous go to do their dirty deeds.
[39:06] It's just like this.
[39:07] Yeah, this is just a hotel near the airport.
Elliott Kalan
[39:09] When they go to Zade's private penthouse or whatever, yeah, it just looks like a nice hotel room.
[39:16] Like it doesn't, yeah, it's not, it's not as nice as Kevin McAllister's hotel room in Home Alone 2 lost in New York.
Stuart Wellington
[39:22] I mean, the hotel room they give this whale billionaire gambler character is like smaller than the hotel room I got upgraded to at the Planet Hollywood because I was only staying one night.
Dan McCoy
[39:37] Speaking of that room, it's the room right below the penthouse because they're trying to figure out how they could heist possibly from below, but that doesn't work out.
[39:44] No.
[39:45] Meanwhile, Gershon is being treated well by Salazar, her kidnapper.
[39:49] They're drinking champagne.
[39:50] They're bantering about how like he's actually never personally killed anyone directly.
[39:54] But she has.
[39:55] But she has.
[39:56] So who's the true monster here?
[39:59] We get a scene of Zade Black.
Stuart Wellington
[40:02] Some real John Kramer logic.
[40:05] Saw series.
[40:07] It's true.
[40:08] Zade Black.
Elliott Kalan
[40:09] As opposed to Kramer from Seinfeld logic, which would be like, I killed him, Jerry.
[40:12] Oh, I didn't know.
[40:13] Kramer versus Kramer.
[40:15] You want to play a game, Jerry?
[40:19] This game?
[40:20] Whoa!
[40:21] Whoa!
[40:23] Why would you call it a game when it's very serious?
[40:27] There's no fun being had.
[40:28] Kramer, why are you leaving notes for the cops?
Jordan Morris
[40:33] Just don't leave them little clues that they can figure out.
Elliott Kalan
[40:37] Why are you waiting in the room the whole time pretending to be a dead Bonnie?
[40:42] Who's going to do that?
Jordan Morris
[40:45] I got to make him appreciate life, Jerry.
Elliott Kalan
[40:50] Meanwhile.
[40:51] George.
[40:51] George.
[40:52] There's a bomb strapped to your wrist.
[40:53] You either got to shoot that guy first or dig the key out from his guts.
[40:57] Why do you do this to me?
[40:59] What was this?
[41:00] It was supposed to be the summer of George.
[41:04] He's literally killing independent George.
[41:06] Yeah.
[41:09] Daniel.
[41:09] Daniel was saying.
[41:11] Meanwhile.
[41:11] No, I want to see.
[41:12] I want to see.
[41:12] I want to see Jigfeld or Seinsaw.
[41:15] Whatever it would be called.
[41:17] Or Kramer's Jigsaw.
[41:18] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[41:19] Well, it got changed to Jigsaw at Ellis Island.
[41:22] At Ellis Island.
Elliott Kalan
[41:25] Jerry.
[41:25] I can't believe you're telling me this isn't a great idea.
[41:28] I don't just kill people.
[41:29] I put them through game scenarios.
[41:30] Everyone has fun.
[41:31] It's great.
[41:33] My Kramer and my Seinsaw are very close together.
[41:36] I have to figure out how to do them separately.
[41:37] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[41:38] In contrast to Salazar, Mr. Black is not afraid to get his hands dirty.
[41:42] He puts out a cigar in the eye of some dude who's been skimming.
[41:45] Then stabs him in the neck.
[41:47] So he's bad.
[41:48] Just to show what a bad guy he is.
[41:50] Yeah.
[41:50] Pretty bad dude.
[41:51] And he meets Travolta, a.k.a.
[41:54] High Roller Donovan Cage.
[41:56] Sorry.
[41:57] And they have a little good guy, bad guy sit down.
[42:00] And Travolta gets an invite to one of his epic poker games that they do.
[42:06] And there's a weird conversation with Haas about how he's counting on Haas for protection.
[42:11] And during this sort of back and forth between these characters who are brothers, I swear they do not look at each other's eyes once.
[42:18] Like they seem to be avoiding looking at one another as actors.
Elliott Kalan
[42:22] Now here's the thing also.
[42:24] John Travolta is 22 years older than Lucas Haas.
[42:27] So you think they have different parents where Lucas Haas' character was just the ultimate surprise?
[42:33] You know, the ultimate surprise baby.
Dan McCoy
[42:35] That's a good question.
[42:36] Pretty bad surprise.
[42:37] I mean, my oldest brother is 13 years older than me.
Elliott Kalan
[42:41] So add nine years.
[42:42] Add almost a decade to that difference.
Stuart Wellington
[42:45] I mean, I think this is all going to be covered in the prequel movie that they're going to put out.
[42:49] Of young Mason played by the same actors.
[42:52] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[42:52] It's like Boss Baby, but they're criminals.
[42:55] Yeah, yeah.
Dan McCoy
[42:55] Well, the upshot of that conversation for the heist.
[42:59] Crime Boss Baby, it would be called.
[43:00] That Link, thank you, is able to lift some prints from the glass that Zaid was drinking from so they can make a fake hand for the security.
Elliott Kalan
[43:10] Yeah.
[43:11] This is something I want to point out.
[43:12] Link and Karis are constantly going undercover as employees at the hotel.
[43:16] No one at the hotel seems to recognize these are people they've never seen before who are suddenly working there until the very end of the movie.
[43:23] But, like, Link will just put on a series of different wigs and show up pretending to—
[43:27] She's working at the bar.
[43:29] She's working at the front desk.
[43:30] It's like, does nobody recognize this is not a person who works here?
[43:33] These are the most busted-ass, dry, fake wigs.
Stuart Wellington
[43:36] Yeah.
[43:36] They're terrible wigs.
[43:37] There's a scene where she—there's a very, like, dramatic scene later on where she confronts Karis for, like, betraying them.
[43:44] And she does the whole thing in this horrible wig.
[43:46] And I'm like, the fucking queens on Drag Race would read her to fucking filth for this shit.
Jordan Morris
[43:51] I wouldn't be surprised if this movie was partially bankrolled by Spirit Halloween.
[43:55] And they're just like, we have to use our wigs.
[43:57] We have to use our $5 discount wigs.
Stuart Wellington
[44:00] When she is undercover as a bartender, she does pour a martini and then sits in the back—
[44:06] because I wasn't paying attention to what was happening in the foreground.
[44:09] I was just watching the bartender.
[44:10] Of course.
[44:10] And she was, like, wiping the outside of the shaker.
Jordan Morris
[44:13] I'm like, what—
[44:15] Well, bartenders wipe stuff.
[44:17] That's what bartenders do.
[44:18] They wipe things.
[44:21] That's why they always got a little towel on their shoulder or whatever.
Stuart Wellington
[44:23] That's the thing.
[44:24] The funniest thing about it is that, like, bartenders never did that until non-bartender—
[44:29] Cheers.
[44:29] Ted Danson started doing it.
[44:31] Yeah.
[44:31] Because he just thought he's like, yeah, I should do something with my hands.
[44:34] So he put this on his shoulder.
[44:36] And I know bartenders who do that still.
[44:38] But nobody ever did it before because, like, why would you put a wet rag on your shirt?
Dan McCoy
[44:45] Meanwhile, the feds are also going to converge in this casino.
[44:48] They've heard that the gang has been spotted there.
[44:51] Salazar is sending cameras so he can watch the whole heist go down.
Elliott Kalan
[44:56] I would love to see the briefing, the FBI briefing where they're like,
[44:59] okay, this time, guys, I want to remind you, those pools are filled with water, just normal H2O.
[45:05] It is not an acid of any kind.
[45:07] It is not a poison.
[45:08] You do not have to be afraid of the pool.
[45:10] You don't have to stand back.
[45:11] If they go through the pool and they get out the other side, it is not because they are wearing magic rings or other sort of artifacts that give them the ability to survive it.
[45:17] Hold on, boss.
[45:18] I need to write this down.
[45:20] I need to write this down.
[45:20] Duh.
[45:21] Write it down.
[45:21] Write it down.
[45:22] It's okay.
[45:22] Oh, this is Cash Patel's FBI.
[45:24] I see.
Stuart Wellington
[45:25] I mean, this, yeah.
[45:26] The leader of the FBI.
Elliott Kalan
[45:27] Cash Patel's FBI would be like, guys, I already said on Twitter that we caught Mason Goddard.
[45:32] And how would you make me look like an idiot?
[45:35] Now I got to go on Twitter and apologize to Kim Kardashian that I was wrong about that.
Stuart Wellington
[45:39] Yeah.
[45:40] The leader of the FBI agents is Agent Richter, who is played by an actor who looks a lot like if Josh Charles was like starring in one of those testosterone ads that play on cable TV.
Elliott Kalan
[45:51] I kept thinking it was Josh Charles.
[45:52] Then I would look again and be like, oh, wait, never mind.
[45:54] Yeah.
Jordan Morris
[45:55] And Link has a little bit of a squint in it, Sidney Sweeney quality to her.
[45:59] Yes.
[45:59] I did think it was her for almost one second.
[46:02] I'm like, oh, they got, oh, no.
[46:03] Okay, never mind.
[46:04] I don't know.
[46:05] She's like Russian.
[46:06] Okay.
[46:07] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[46:08] So, and I couldn't, at first I was like, is she doing an Eastern European accent or is that her regular accent?
[46:14] I think it's just a regular accent.
[46:15] I think it's her regular accent, but she's mostly lost.
Jordan Morris
[46:18] Yeah.
[46:19] It's tough to say if she's trying to like be American or where, I mean, you know, no one, knowing it's any backstory, I'm sure they did it all in whatever the first movie was.
[46:27] But yeah, Link and where she is from is a mystery.
Elliott Kalan
[46:32] And I'm going to say just because it has to be made, a point made in this, in the times we live in, you can have an accent and still be an American.
[46:39] You know, that's something that, it does disqualify you from being an American citizen.
[46:44] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[46:45] Wow.
[46:46] You're letting me talk and I'm not prepared because I was like, oh, they'll keep yapping on.
Jordan Morris
[46:51] I was going to see.
[46:53] We can do more Seinfeld jigsaw stuff if you want to.
[46:56] You want to do a little Seinfeld Texas Chainsaw Massacre maybe?
Stuart Wellington
[46:59] You thought it was okay to date a 17-year-old Jerry.
[47:02] I was confirming.
Dan McCoy
[47:05] I was confirming what I had thought that like this actor's name is Natali Yura.
[47:10] So she's probably.
[47:12] Yura what?
[47:13] That's her actual accent.
[47:14] What?
Elliott Kalan
[47:15] Yes, I think that is her actual accent.
Dan McCoy
[47:17] So anyway.
[47:19] Yeah.
[47:20] Trolls doesn't want these cameras.
Elliott Kalan
[47:21] Why do they call him jigsaw?
[47:22] Oh, boy.
[47:23] He doesn't do puzzles.
[47:24] He gives people puzzles, but they're not jigsaw puzzles.
[47:29] Why do they call it a jigsaw?
[47:30] Do you dance while you cut things with it?
Jordan Morris
[47:33] Jerry, Jerry, we've tied you.
[47:35] You can just Google these things.
[47:36] Jerry, we've tied you to the wheel of this 67 Corvette and it's about to fill with hot coffee.
Elliott Kalan
[47:45] I chose to be tortured by the 67 Corvette because it's a classic car.
[47:49] Stylish, powerful.
[47:50] You gotta love it.
Jordan Morris
[47:51] We love it when rich guys tell you about cars.
Elliott Kalan
[47:53] I took jigsaw out to the corner cafe to talk about how we do things.
[47:58] So how'd you get into torturing people?
Jordan Morris
[48:01] Well, you know, when I was young, I didn't even realize this was a job you could have.
Dan McCoy
[48:08] Yeah, he doesn't want these.
[48:10] Who?
[48:10] Jigsaw?
Jordan Morris
[48:11] I mean.
Dan McCoy
[48:11] See, the problem is like every time you actually give me space to talk, I'm like, okay, well,
[48:16] they're going to be on this for a while.
[48:17] Let me look at something.
[48:19] Let me read my books.
[48:20] We're just keeping you on your toes, Dan.
[48:22] Uh-huh.
[48:23] All nine of them.
[48:24] Maybe just warn me when you decide.
[48:26] Continue.
Jordan Morris
[48:27] I think we're at the epic poker game, right?
[48:30] Yeah.
[48:31] Sorry.
[48:31] They've called Travolta.
[48:34] Travolta has agreed to enter this epic poker game.
[48:36] And that's when he's going to find the safe.
Elliott Kalan
[48:38] And he's been flirting with, what's her name?
[48:42] Bella?
[48:42] Is that it?
Dan McCoy
[48:43] No, I'm back at it.
[48:44] Let me get to it.
[48:45] Okay.
[48:45] So on this phone call, there's these babysitting cameras that are coming over.
[48:49] And also we learn that Zayde is Salazar's brother.
[48:52] This is the important piece of information that is in this phone call.
Elliott Kalan
[48:55] Without it, the movie doesn't make any sense.
[48:57] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[48:59] Yeah.
[48:59] And Bella, the casino director you mentioned, is like, everything's got to be perfect tonight
[49:03] for the game.
[49:04] But they make a big deal about how her young nephew, Ruben, is there.
[49:08] Because, like, I guess the mom or whoever takes care of this person has an emergency.
[49:12] They have to go.
[49:13] And they make it like it's going to, like, play into things.
[49:16] This never means anything.
[49:17] It doesn't pay off for anything.
[49:18] Yeah.
[49:19] It really doesn't.
[49:20] There's one point where Ruben sees Travolta, like, go out of a door that he shouldn't have
[49:24] gone out and doesn't say anything about it.
[49:27] And that's the closest it comes to paying off.
Elliott Kalan
[49:29] This has big.
[49:30] One of the producers has a kid.
[49:32] Yeah.
[49:32] And wanted a kid to be in the movie energy.
Jordan Morris
[49:34] You know.
[49:34] And at some point, yeah, at some point, so they go, let's go get you.
Elliott Kalan
[49:37] Kid's not bad.
[49:37] No, no.
[49:37] Kid's not bad.
[49:38] The kid is actually, I think he's really funny in it.
[49:40] Like, he's just, because the thing is, the kid is expressing the entire time disinterest
[49:44] in everything that is going on.
[49:46] He does not care.
[49:47] He does not want to be there.
[49:48] And I think he does a really good job pulling it off in a funny way.
Jordan Morris
[49:50] And like all kids his age, he's obsessed with his Microsoft Surface.
[49:55] We all know these kids playing with their Microsoft Surface.
[49:59] Oh, that's why the kid's in the thing.
[50:01] Oh, he's just there for the.
[50:02] A note about Bella, who I think is very good.
[50:05] And she's a real like age appropriate babe.
[50:07] I do kind of appreciate that the babes in this movie are the like age of the, you know,
[50:13] their kind of male counterparts.
[50:15] And Bella is great.
[50:17] But points toward this movie was made completely by old people.
[50:21] Whenever she has to like, like, like talk to her, like the guy she's in a relationship with,
[50:28] she calls him dear.
[50:32] She's like, let's get this epic poker game together, dear.
[50:37] And you know that Link is.
[50:38] A crackling sexual tension.
Elliott Kalan
[50:39] You know that Link and Karis are young because they call each other babe.
Jordan Morris
[50:43] Babe.
[50:43] Yeah, they do.
[50:44] Yeah.
[50:44] They're like an annoying couple yelling at each other at a Whole Foods.
[50:47] Babe.
[50:48] Babe.
[50:49] So the team discovers.
[50:50] Do we have to get the organic kale?
Elliott Kalan
[50:52] Babe.
[50:52] It's like a dollar more.
[50:54] Do you want stuffed?
[50:55] Babe.
[50:58] Stuffed olives?
[50:59] Babe.
[50:59] Babe.
[51:00] What you don't know is that he went there with Babe the Blue Ox.
[51:03] Right.
[51:04] Because they're planning a surprise party for Paul Bunyan.
[51:06] And Babe the Pig is also there.
[51:09] Yeah, and Babe Ruth.
[51:09] Are you talking to me?
[51:12] Yeah, it's no.
[51:13] What about me?
[51:14] The Babe.
[51:14] John Goodman, you just played the Babe in one movie.
[51:17] You're not actually Babe Ruth.
[51:18] Where am I?
[51:19] Oh, John Goodman.
[51:20] No.
Dan McCoy
[51:21] Poor guy.
[51:24] He truly was a good man.
[51:25] The team discovers.
Elliott Kalan
[51:29] As long as he doesn't turn into his alter ego, John Badman, when he gets hit on the head.
[51:35] He gets a beard.
[51:37] He grows a goatee.
[51:38] He grows a goatee for some reason.
Jordan Morris
[51:42] John Badman.
[51:43] Badman meat dirt box.
[51:46] And then, of course, there's John Badham.
[51:49] Oh, yeah.
[51:49] You don't want to eat his ham.
[51:51] No.
Elliott Kalan
[51:51] No, it's spoiled rotten.
[51:53] Yeah.
[51:54] So the team discovers.
[51:55] And, of course.
[51:56] Anyway, never mind.
Dan McCoy
[51:58] There's a fly in the ointment.
[51:59] There's a second safe.
[52:00] So they don't know where the thing they want is.
[52:03] Their plans are disarray.
[52:04] They have to hit both safes simultaneously for safety for some reason.
[52:08] But it'll take.
[52:09] A safe is in the name.
[52:10] The word safety.
[52:11] I get it.
[52:12] Well, I mean, it's interesting.
[52:13] Like, I get the idea of, like, you hit them both at the same time.
[52:17] So, like, if something goes wrong, if an alarm goes off or whatever, like, there's not.
[52:21] Maybe there's not going to be a second chance if you don't hit them simultaneously.
[52:25] I get it on that level.
[52:26] Later on, they act like, oh, we both have to put our hands on the thing at the exact same time.
[52:32] I'm like, why?
Elliott Kalan
[52:33] Why?
[52:34] Especially since.
[52:35] They would shut the thing down.
Dan McCoy
[52:36] It's like the same guy.
[52:37] They'd be like, no.
[52:37] Exactly.
Elliott Kalan
[52:38] Someone's trying to do it.
[52:39] They're like, I guess the thing they left out is that Zayd, the bad guy, has Mr. Fantastic powers.
[52:45] So, he can stretch his arms all the way across through multiple rooms.
[52:49] But it is funny that they're setting it up for suspense when it's totally meaningless to do it at the exact same time.
Stuart Wellington
[52:54] And there's also the ticking clock of a guy who knows the real Donovan Cage is going to be showing up.
[53:02] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[53:03] The famous Chaz Antonelli.
[53:05] And they mention his name so many times before he shows up.
[53:08] Chaz Antonelli, our good friend.
[53:10] Oh, yeah, yeah.
[53:10] Chaz Antonelli.
Dan McCoy
[53:11] We see him arriving in a plane around this point.
[53:15] But right before that, what we see is Mason, Sean, and Anton walking down the hall to Take 5 by Dave Brubeck.
[53:21] Yeah.
Jordan Morris
[53:21] Nothing cooler.
[53:22] That's the one recognizable music drop in this is Dave Brubeck's Take 5.
Elliott Kalan
[53:28] And it's because John Travolta says they're playing jazz tonight.
[53:30] They're playing jazz.
[53:31] They're just going to have to play jazz.
[53:33] They're way out of this.
Stuart Wellington
[53:35] We've talked about how large the crew is.
[53:38] And in charge.
[53:39] And after that opening action sequence, I feel like at all times, the crew greatly outnumbers the bad guys.
[53:47] There's almost never a time where there's fewer crew than there are bad guys.
[53:52] Yes.
[53:52] Which makes the threat feel less intense.
Elliott Kalan
[53:55] And they all have a job.
[53:56] Mason, he's the front man.
[53:57] He's going to con his way in and pretend to be a billionaire so he can get close to Zayn.
[54:02] Suave.
[54:02] Charming.
[54:03] Suave.
[54:04] Plays cards.
[54:05] Sean.
[54:05] He's the safe cracker.
[54:06] He's going to pretend that he's like Mason's bodyguard who is also playing poker for some reason.
[54:11] But he's going to crack the safe.
[54:12] Link.
[54:13] She's doing the tech stuff.
[54:15] Karis.
[54:16] He's – I'm not sure.
[54:17] Helping out Link.
[54:19] Quavo.
[54:19] Quavo.
[54:20] Anton.
[54:20] He's – I don't know.
[54:22] And Hector.
[54:23] He's like – he's around.
[54:25] Doing something else.
[54:27] I guess he's going to set up a distraction at some point.
[54:30] It's – I guess if they made it clear what everybody's doing.
[54:33] Because Anton just pretends to be another person at the hotel who then is going to take part in this fancy –
[54:39] Yeah.
[54:39] Another guest who's going to take part in this fancy poker game.
[54:41] But he doesn't do anything after that.
[54:44] Like he's just filling out the game.
Dan McCoy
[54:45] You know.
[54:45] I want to take this moment to give this movie some very faint praise in that like at least –
Elliott Kalan
[54:51] No one was killed while making it that we know of.
[54:54] So it's got one up on John Landis.
Stuart Wellington
[54:56] They're very simple complications.
[54:58] There is actually an in memoriam at the end though.
[55:00] Oh, yeah.
[55:00] But I think that's where – yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[55:02] Well, I don't think he died in the line of making the movie.
[55:05] I'm not sure.
[55:05] But you're right.
[55:06] There's an in memoriam.
Dan McCoy
[55:07] Even though there are like kind of basic complications, the movie, you know, is like taking the time to be like,
[55:14] okay, you know, like this is a heist movie.
[55:16] We got to have complications arise.
[55:18] Like, oh, there's two safes.
[55:19] Like we got to deal with that now.
[55:20] Oh, there's a guy who knows what the guy that Travolta is pretending to be looks like on his way.
[55:26] We got to take – like I appreciate that they don't execute these all that well.
[55:31] But I appreciate that there's some –
[55:33] I'll agree with you, Dan.
Elliott Kalan
[55:34] I'll agree with you.
[55:34] They are trying to – I would call this a relaxed fit heist movie.
[55:38] Yeah.
[55:38] I think that it's – like there are complications but they get over them pretty easily.
[55:43] It's – you're never really in any doubt that they're going to pull it off.
[55:46] But you're right that they are at least introducing things that could get in their way.
[55:50] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[55:50] Just like how I feel when I put on a nice pair of relaxed fit Levi's jeans.
[55:54] I always think I'll be able to get them off again.
Jordan Morris
[55:56] Now, I do want to point out –
[55:58] We're talking about –
[55:58] Promo code flop at checkout?
[55:59] Yep.
Stuart Wellington
[56:01] Yep.
[56:01] Maybe.
[56:02] Maybe.
[56:02] Try.
[56:02] Yeah.
[56:03] See if it works.
[56:04] I don't know.
[56:07] Since we're talking about everybody's specialized roles and skills, I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about one of my favorite elements of the movie where during this high-stakes poker game,
[56:16] they make a big deal saying how they brought these master mixologists into the suite.
[56:21] Yes.
Jordan Morris
[56:22] These are the best bartenders in the world, they say.
Stuart Wellington
[56:26] And, of course, this mainly is to set up Lucas Haas' character where they're like, do you want anything?
[56:32] And he just orders a beer.
[56:33] Yeah.
[56:34] There's not much of a joke there.
[56:36] They just keep asking for beer and then later on –
[56:38] Yeah, go on.
[56:38] Oh, go on.
[56:39] And then there's the moment where she's like, you should try something other than a beer.
[56:43] And he's like, what should I get?
[56:45] And she thinks for a second.
[56:46] And she goes, how about a Cuba Libre?
[56:48] A rum and Coke, which is the funniest –
[56:51] Yeah, this is the funniest –
Dan McCoy
[56:51] I'm like, there's a very specific bartending thing that I'm –
[56:56] I was like – I was scoffing at.
[56:58] I'm like, she's making fun of Julie.
[56:59] We got this great cocktail guy here.
[57:01] Order a cocktail.
[57:02] And he's like, okay, what did you suggest?
[57:03] A Cuba Libre?
[57:04] I'm like, it's a fucking rum and Coke.
[57:07] Did the writer just not know that?
Elliott Kalan
[57:09] They're just like, oh, it's a fancy-sounding name.
[57:10] I think that's probably what happened, yeah.
[57:12] Oh, my God.
[57:13] That's so funny.
Stuart Wellington
[57:15] When obviously that guy who's drinking –
[57:18] just give him an old-fashioned.
[57:19] That's what guys –
[57:20] That's what they always want.
Elliott Kalan
[57:22] Stu, I like that.
Stuart Wellington
[57:22] Maybe a smoked old-fashioned because that's like what old guys like.
Elliott Kalan
[57:26] Give him something with pickle juice in it if you're a mixologist.
[57:29] Do something out of the ordinary.
[57:31] Give him a dirty girt.
[57:32] Yeah, Lucas Haas looks like he'd enjoy some pickles.
[57:35] Sure.
[57:35] But for Stuart, this is for you what the guy –
[57:38] what the paleontologist in Jurassic World saying,
[57:40] Mosasaurs were dinosaurs, is for me.
[57:42] Where you're like, come on, what are you doing?
Stuart Wellington
[57:45] Yeah, because my career as a bar owner and bartender
[57:50] is similar to your career as a paleontologist.
Dan McCoy
[57:52] Very much so.
[57:53] Very much so.
[57:54] So we're at this epic poker game, which is, you know, God knows,
[57:58] there's nothing more thrilling than watching scripted card playing.
[58:02] God.
Jordan Morris
[58:02] And they don't show you anyone's cards.
Dan McCoy
[58:04] So you can't even get invested in it.
Jordan Morris
[58:07] There's a way to do a suspenseful scene where you see someone's hand
[58:11] and you see if they're bluffing or not.
[58:12] And they just like –
[58:13] They don't show you any cards ever.
[58:15] There's one moment where you see that someone is like palmed an ace.
[58:19] But that's the only time –
[58:20] Not just someone.
Jordan Morris
[58:20] Zade Black.
[58:21] Zade Black.
[58:21] Yeah.
[58:22] The bad guy.
[58:22] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[58:23] But it is a –
[58:25] I could not tell if we were supposed to be watching a game
[58:27] or just a montage of different –
[58:29] Like, they're not trying to –
[58:30] They're not trying to create suspense.
[58:32] I mean, maybe they thought they were,
[58:33] but you're just –
[58:34] It's just serious people saying,
[58:35] I raise.
[58:36] I call.
[58:37] I raise.
[58:38] I call.
[58:38] And I was like, this –
[58:40] There's no way to keep track of what's going on.
[58:42] It doesn't matter.
[58:43] Who cares?
[58:43] It's a waste of time.
Dan McCoy
[58:44] But during the scene,
[58:45] we do learn that Bella used to be with Salazar,
[58:47] perhaps the root of this feud between brothers.
[58:52] Link drops by pretending to be Cage's executive assistant.
[58:56] Sorry.
[58:57] The funniest of her wigs.
[58:58] To drop off the second fake glove,
[59:02] fake fingerprint glove.
[59:04] She's wearing –
Elliott Kalan
[59:04] I think it's the same –
[59:05] It might be the same wig that Natalie Portman is wearing
[59:07] when she is a stripper in the movie Closer.
[59:10] Oh, yeah.
Dan McCoy
[59:11] They got to make their move.
[59:13] Chaz is on the way.
[59:14] Stole it from a planet Hollywood.
[59:15] Yeah, they broke –
[59:16] Using her lead skills.
[59:17] Right.
Elliott Kalan
[59:17] The real heist was busting it out of the planet Hollywood.
[59:20] Yeah.
Jordan Morris
[59:20] This was another very –
[59:21] You're the most famous movie prop of all time.
Elliott Kalan
[59:24] No, not Rosebud the sled.
[59:26] No, no.
[59:26] Natalie Portman's stripper wig.
Stuart Wellington
[59:29] Which fucking plan to Hollywood is Rosebud in?
Elliott Kalan
[59:32] I mean, Rosebud, not a joke,
[59:34] is at the Academy Museum.
[59:35] Oh, is it?
[59:36] In Los Angeles because it's owned by Steven Spielberg.
[59:38] And so he lent it to –
[59:39] It's a Rosebud that was made as a duplicate for the movie
[59:42] in case they needed to burn it another time
[59:44] and they did not need to.
[59:45] So it's not the one from the –
[59:46] I see.
[59:47] It's not screen –
[59:48] It's not the screen used plot prop.
[59:50] It is screen accurate.
[59:51] Anyway, that's a little bit of actual clarification there.
[59:54] But imagine them just sending the real John Travolta
[59:56] into planet Hollywood and being like,
[59:57] yeah, can I take a look at that?
[59:59] And he puts it on his head and then runs away.
[1:00:01] Yeah, yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[1:00:01] While some music like –
[1:00:02] It plays in the background.
[1:00:04] It's basically every heist from the movie
[1:00:06] The Master of Disguise.
[1:00:07] Let me take you for a ride.
Elliott Kalan
[1:00:09] It also really is the Marvel versus Capcom.
[1:00:11] I love that music.
Jordan Morris
[1:00:14] That would be the funny like unbearable weight
[1:00:18] of massive talent version of this movie
[1:00:20] is them having –
[1:00:22] the actual John Travolta having to heist props
[1:00:24] from the last planet Hollywood
[1:00:25] so that they can use in this movie.
Elliott Kalan
[1:00:28] He remembers that he stole a diamond
[1:00:30] when he was making Stayin' Alive
[1:00:32] and he hid it inside of his costume
[1:00:34] and now they're –
[1:00:35] He remembers.
[1:00:36] The last planet Hollywood is being sold
[1:00:40] and he's got to get in there and get it
[1:00:41] before they demolish the place.
[1:00:43] I don't know.
[1:00:43] Honestly, this is good.
[1:00:46] That's pretty good.
[1:00:46] That should be a movie.
[1:00:49] And you call it Stealing Hollywood
Jordan Morris
[1:00:50] or something like that.
[1:00:51] Yeah, yeah.
[1:00:53] Planet Heistywood?
[1:00:54] Planet Heistywood.
[1:00:55] Yeah, Planet Heistywood is good.
[1:00:56] Let's go to lunch.
Dan McCoy
[1:00:57] Chaz is coming so they got to make their move
[1:01:00] and this is very funny.
[1:01:02] to me that their distraction
[1:01:04] so they can make a move
[1:01:05] is that Hector outside
[1:01:06] sets off a bunch of fireworks
[1:01:07] and all of these hardened,
[1:01:10] high-rolling gamblers are like,
Elliott Kalan
[1:01:11] hey, there's fireworks in the window.
[1:01:13] Let's all go look at them.
[1:01:15] They leave the game
[1:01:16] and Bella says,
[1:01:17] Ruben, Ruben, look, fireworks.
[1:01:18] And the kid is like,
[1:01:19] wah.
[1:01:19] Like, doesn't care.
[1:01:20] Doesn't care.
[1:01:21] But it is –
[1:01:22] and Anton is like,
[1:01:23] wow, fireworks.
[1:01:25] This is an amazing place.
[1:01:26] It is.
Jordan Morris
[1:01:26] They're acting as if fireworks are –
[1:01:28] It's like when you take a three-year-old
[1:01:30] out to see a garbage truck come by.
[1:01:32] Oh, cool.
[1:01:34] What?
Elliott Kalan
[1:01:36] Jordan, as someone who has lived that life,
Dan McCoy
[1:01:38] yes, you are exactly right.
[1:01:39] That is exactly what it's like.
[1:01:41] I mean, there's also –
[1:01:42] The other distraction that happens
[1:01:43] is that Link makes a lot of the slot machines
[1:01:45] pay off downstairs.
[1:01:47] Yeah.
[1:01:47] But it's barely a distraction.
[1:01:49] Sorry, what were you going to say, Elliot?
Elliott Kalan
[1:01:51] I was just saying Salazar is like,
[1:01:52] you know,
[1:01:53] after sticking my lit cigar into a man's eye
[1:01:56] and then stabbing him in the throat,
[1:01:57] it's nice to know I can still be entertained
[1:01:59] by the innocence of fireworks.
[1:02:01] I am.
[1:02:02] A childlike joy.
[1:02:03] Oh, that was a big one.
[1:02:03] Yay.
[1:02:04] Boom, boom.
[1:02:06] Okay, now I'm getting a little bored of them.
[1:02:08] Oh, now it's the finale.
[1:02:09] Oh, this is good.
[1:02:10] Now let's all watch Bluey.
Dan McCoy
[1:02:12] Oh, they're syncing it up to a pop song now.
[1:02:15] Oh, that's good.
Elliott Kalan
[1:02:16] That one looks a little bit like a heart,
[1:02:18] but it's kind of squished a little bit.
Dan McCoy
[1:02:20] So the guy –
[1:02:23] They are so enamored of the fireworks.
[1:02:26] It's really funny.
[1:02:27] It's cute.
[1:02:27] They go off and look for the safes.
[1:02:32] Haas is looking in the bedroom.
[1:02:34] The plural is safe eye.
[1:02:36] I'm not sure where Travolta is looking,
[1:02:38] but they both find these safes.
[1:02:41] And they put their palms in the sensors at the same time.
[1:02:44] They unlock it.
Elliott Kalan
[1:02:45] Salazar is watching this and kibitzing the entire time.
[1:02:48] Come on, idiot.
[1:02:49] Open.
Jordan Morris
[1:02:49] Find the lever.
[1:02:50] Idiot.
[1:02:51] Come on.
Dan McCoy
[1:02:51] Oh, stupid.
[1:02:52] And it's like, come on, guy.
[1:02:53] They can't seem to find the hard drive that they're looking for.
[1:02:57] Meanwhile, Hector is apprehended in the men's room for his fireworks ploy.
[1:03:01] Presumably for entertaining everyone so well.
Stuart Wellington
[1:03:04] They don't want to give him a job, you know.
[1:03:06] Or kidnapping you and making you the lead fireworks guy.
Elliott Kalan
[1:03:10] Haas finds something interesting like this.
[1:03:12] Your crime is being a sorcerer for making the lights and fire appear in the sky.
[1:03:16] Where's your dragon, sir?
[1:03:17] Rain from the sky.
[1:03:18] I'm wondering, yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:03:20] Haas finds something interesting.
[1:03:21] How does this man make flame without flint or tinder?
[1:03:24] Like a puzzle box.
[1:03:24] I did use a lighter.
[1:03:26] Oh, never mind then.
[1:03:27] A puzzle box.
[1:03:28] He finds a puzzle box with a little USB drive.
[1:03:31] A centibite comes out.
[1:03:32] I have so much beauty to show you, pain to teach you.
Stuart Wellington
[1:03:36] It's got a little USB drive to take it.
[1:03:39] By the way, I think Lucas Haas gives me the vibe of a guy who would open up the Hellraiser box.
[1:03:44] Oh, 100%.
[1:03:45] Totally.
[1:03:45] 100%.
Dan McCoy
[1:03:46] And they've rigged it so Chaz gets stuck in the elevator.
[1:03:51] So that pressure's off for the moment.
[1:03:54] Phew.
[1:03:54] And as Bella and Zaid go to deal with that, the others check in with Link to deliver the hard drive.
[1:04:01] And there's like all these lines about like, oh, this belongs to Isabel Farrow.
[1:04:06] And I guess the crypto drive they're actually after in the first movie because Travolta's like, I think Bella is Isabel Farrow.
[1:04:15] She left Salazar so it tracks.
[1:04:16] And I'm like, I guess, man.
[1:04:18] I don't really understand what's going on here.
Jordan Morris
[1:04:19] Yeah, this is baffling.
[1:04:20] And they do talk a lot about like what happened in Seattle.
[1:04:24] Like, oh, this is just like, I mean, I guess that's where the first movie takes place.
[1:04:28] And it's really exciting to the point where everybody wants to remember it constantly.
[1:04:32] Right.
[1:04:32] Seattle's okay.
Stuart Wellington
[1:04:33] You can see a fish flying through the air.
[1:04:34] Yeah.
[1:04:35] It's really cool.
[1:04:36] I've been there.
[1:04:36] I've seen it.
[1:04:37] I mean, I can throw a fish in the air if I want to.
[1:04:39] At home for free.
Elliott Kalan
[1:04:40] Not the way they do it.
[1:04:41] Not the way they do it.
[1:04:42] Shots fired.
[1:04:43] Dan, Seattle, you know, Seattle is where Lou Zealand trained.
[1:04:46] Okay.
[1:04:47] They do it the best there.
[1:04:48] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:04:49] Boomerang Fishmaster.
Elliott Kalan
[1:04:51] Yeah.
[1:04:51] That sounds like a Hong Kong movie.
[1:04:53] That sounds like a Shaw Brothers movie from 1973 Boomerang Fishmaster.
Dan McCoy
[1:05:00] But Travolta, like, is like, oh.
Elliott Kalan
[1:05:02] When the crime boss came for the Hong Kong fish market, the Boomerang Fishmaster wasn't going to let it happen.
Dan McCoy
[1:05:09] Travolta intuits that Salazar is actually after the dirt box.
[1:05:12] That sounds like, wait a minute.
Elliott Kalan
[1:05:13] I mean, it's not a Shaw Brothers thing.
[1:05:14] That's a good Sam O'Hung role.
[1:05:15] That's a great role for Sam O'Hung.
[1:05:17] It has that Boomerang Fishmaster saving a Hong Kong fish market.
[1:05:19] You got comedy, you got action, you got class.
Dan McCoy
[1:05:22] Fish.
[1:05:22] Maybe a ghost shows up at the end.
Stuart Wellington
[1:05:24] Who knows?
[1:05:24] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:05:25] So they figure that there's something else that they haven't found yet that they need to find, essentially.
[1:05:32] Meanwhile, Gershon almost escapes.
[1:05:35] There's more like.
[1:05:37] She only uses blades.
Elliott Kalan
[1:05:38] What we learned about Gershon is that she kills with a knife.
[1:05:40] He's like that she never.
[1:05:41] I guess she uses it.
[1:05:42] Tries to use a gun later.
[1:05:43] But she's like, what's it like?
[1:05:45] Oh, it's physics, isn't it?
[1:05:46] The distance from you to the knife.
[1:05:49] Speed you can move at.
[1:05:50] And then she breaks a mirror and uses a blade.
[1:05:52] Uses a shard from it.
[1:05:54] And I'm like, I love that.
[1:05:55] That this character is apparently into hands-on wet work.
[1:05:58] Like close-up kills.
[1:05:59] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:06:00] Well, and there's more talk of like, oh, what's it like to kill?
[1:06:03] And she says like, well, if you're killing a bad person, someone you know is bad, it's like the world's greatest orgasm.
[1:06:10] Which I'm like, okay, this is one of our heroes, I guess.
[1:06:13] Yeah.
[1:06:15] Meanwhile, Hector's tied up downstairs.
[1:06:18] Zade comes in.
[1:06:19] It looks like he's going to repeat the cigar routine.
[1:06:22] And honestly, in this scene, Hector does some of the best acting in the movie, trying to convince him that he's just a drunk guy who's that awesome.
[1:06:28] Yeah.
Jordan Morris
[1:06:28] A truck full of fireworks.
Dan McCoy
[1:06:32] The feds arrive.
[1:06:34] And there's some noticeably bad green screen behind the link at one point.
[1:06:38] Did you see that?
[1:06:39] It looks like a Zoom background like fading out where she's like supposed to be in this hotel room.
[1:06:45] I didn't remember that part.
[1:06:46] She like fades into the background.
Stuart Wellington
[1:06:48] I do love there was a shot while they were preparing for their heist and they're all staying in this little hotel room and they're all like scrunched up on the floor.
[1:06:55] And it is really funny that this whole team stays in the guy who's undercover's hotel room.
[1:07:01] Yeah.
[1:07:02] They have cameras and shit.
Elliott Kalan
[1:07:03] Like they would know that like 10 people are staying there.
[1:07:06] Like if room service shows up, they find pillows and blankets all over the floors and couches.
Jordan Morris
[1:07:10] And they all are just in their clothes covered up with blankies.
[1:07:14] Like no one.
Elliott Kalan
[1:07:16] Except for Mason who has pajamas in a robe.
Jordan Morris
[1:07:18] Silk pajamas.
[1:07:19] Yeah.
[1:07:19] It's funny.
[1:07:20] Everyone else just sleeps in their clothes but John Travolta changes into silk pajamas.
Elliott Kalan
[1:07:25] We've got to play the role of whoever that billionaire is.
[1:07:29] Look, I bought $40,000 pajamas.
[1:07:31] Right.
[1:07:31] So I would feel like a billionaire.
[1:07:33] So I'm never breaking character.
Jordan Morris
[1:07:34] I can see that just being how John Travolta shows up to a set, you know.
[1:07:37] Yeah.
[1:07:38] And they're like, fine, just shoot him.
Elliott Kalan
[1:07:40] He's like a – who's the – why am I forgetting his name?
[1:07:43] The artist Julian Schnabel who just wears pajamas everywhere and just shows up at fancy events in pajamas and looks ridiculous.
[1:07:50] Yeah.
[1:07:51] You guys know what I'm talking about, right?
[1:07:52] No.
[1:07:53] I mean I vaguely know who Julian Schnabel is.
[1:07:56] Yeah, yeah.
[1:07:58] Link saves –
[1:08:00] Inventor of the door schnob, which is like a doorknob a little sillier.
[1:08:04] Link saves Hector from being blinded.
Jordan Morris
[1:08:07] He goes, ah, ooh, guy when you try and turn it.
[1:08:08] It gets me every time.
Elliott Kalan
[1:08:10] Every time.
[1:08:11] I don't expect it.
[1:08:12] Link saves Hector from being –
[1:08:13] And then my big mouth, Billy Bass, starts singing at me from the wall and I'm like, whoa, hold on.
[1:08:16] I thought you were just a fish.
Jordan Morris
[1:08:19] My house is too funny.
[1:08:21] My house is cracking me up.
Stuart Wellington
[1:08:23] Well, I'm just going to open up this can of peanuts I have over here.
[1:08:26] What?
Elliott Kalan
[1:08:28] I should have known when I looked at the listing and it said three-bedroom silly.
[1:08:32] Oh, this cactus is – I'm just going to water it a little bit, this cactus.
Dan McCoy
[1:08:36] Not too much.
[1:08:37] It's a cactus.
[1:08:37] Oh, it's dancing.
[1:08:38] It's a dancing cactus.
Jordan Morris
[1:08:40] Whoa.
[1:08:41] Now to drink out of this ordinary Pepsi can.
[1:08:43] I feel so bad for the realtor that has that fucking listing.
Dan McCoy
[1:08:56] I can't pull my family.
[1:08:58] At the office, they're like, you can take those things out of the house.
[1:09:00] No, she's showing people through.
Elliott Kalan
[1:09:02] They're like, we'll get rid of those.
[1:09:03] No, no.
[1:09:04] They come with the house.
[1:09:04] It's stipulated.
[1:09:05] If you buy it, you have to eat them.
Stuart Wellington
[1:09:08] They're like, oh, wow, I'm tired from walking around this house.
[1:09:10] Let me just sit in this chair.
[1:09:11] No, no, no, no, no.
[1:09:12] There's a whoopee kitchen there.
[1:09:13] Let's sit there.
Dan McCoy
[1:09:14] The chairs are all giant whoopee cushions.
[1:09:16] The previous owner regarded these as their children, so they're stipulated in the will.
Elliott Kalan
[1:09:20] Hey, is it okay if I just got to run off and use the bathroom?
[1:09:22] No, no, there's saran wrap across all the seats.
Dan McCoy
[1:09:26] What a funny house.
[1:09:28] This house sounds pretty funny.
Elliott Kalan
[1:09:30] Yeah.
[1:09:31] Today on Million Dollar Prank House, our agents are going to see if they can sell the Million Dollar
[1:09:35] Prank House.
[1:09:37] Couldn't do it.
[1:09:37] We couldn't sell the Million Dollar Prank House.
[1:09:39] All right.
[1:09:40] Find out next episode if we can finally unload this first house.
Dan McCoy
[1:09:44] I mean, honestly, we don't want to sell it.
[1:09:47] The show would be over if we finally sold it.
[1:09:48] We just have the one prank house.
Jordan Morris
[1:09:51] We have to make 40 episodes a year of this for HGTV.
Elliott Kalan
[1:09:55] It reminds me of when I was a kid, there was like a community event space that the town
[1:10:01] would hold parties and things in, and we used to go to them sometimes, and in the men's
[1:10:06] bathroom, there was a light switch with a plate around it of a tennis player with his pants
[1:10:10] down so that the light switch was his penis.
[1:10:12] And as a kid, I was like, what is this?
[1:10:14] Why would you put this somewhere?
[1:10:16] But in the Million Dollar Prank House, all the light switches have those lights.
[1:10:19] All that penis.
[1:10:20] All things.
[1:10:21] Yeah.
[1:10:21] Tens players' penises.
Dan McCoy
[1:10:22] I love this young Elliot.
[1:10:24] Why would you do that?
Elliott Kalan
[1:10:25] It doesn't make any sense.
[1:10:26] And I'd be like, does the ladies' room have the lady version of this?
[1:10:29] Because what would it be?
[1:10:30] I don't understand.
Dan McCoy
[1:10:31] Elliot, let me show you what it can be.
[1:10:33] It's a giant clitoris.
[1:10:34] Sebastian Maniscalco happened to be in that bathroom, and he heard you say, why would
[1:10:38] you do this?
[1:10:39] He's like, there's something there.
Elliott Kalan
[1:10:41] There's something here.
Dan McCoy
[1:10:42] I just got to say it a lot funnier.
Elliott Kalan
[1:10:44] Now I'm imagining Jig Sebastian, which is Sebastian Maniscalco as Jigsaw.
[1:10:50] Why would you let me trap you?
[1:10:52] Why would you let me do this?
[1:10:54] Why would you do that?
Stuart Wellington
[1:10:57] There's to be more marbles in your mouth.
[1:10:58] You're right.
[1:10:59] You're right.
[1:10:59] I'm speaking a little too smoothly.
[1:11:01] Guys, I'd prefer if you did not make fun of my wife's favorite stand-up comedian, please.
[1:11:07] She listens to this podcast, and it would make her very upset.
Elliott Kalan
[1:11:10] It would be Sebastian Maniscalco.
[1:11:12] That would be his name.
Dan McCoy
[1:11:15] Anyway, I was trying to tell you about how Hector got saved.
[1:11:18] Link distracted.
[1:11:19] Yeah, he walked into that funny house.
Jordan Morris
[1:11:22] All the guys cracked up too much, and he was able to do that.
[1:11:24] He was able to get away.
Elliott Kalan
[1:11:24] The feds were like, we can't go in there.
[1:11:26] It's impossible.
[1:11:27] We don't have jurisdiction over funny house.
[1:11:29] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:11:29] And around this point, Link hears a phone buzzing, and she's like, I didn't know my husband
[1:11:35] had another burner.
[1:11:37] And she picks it up, and it's Salazar saying, don't let your little girlfriend upload the
[1:11:41] dirt box.
[1:11:42] Uh-oh.
[1:11:43] Link, you've been sleeping with the enemy.
[1:11:44] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[1:11:45] You've been sleeping with Salazar?
[1:11:46] What a twist.
[1:11:48] I mean, I wouldn't put it past him.
[1:11:50] I mean, Salazar can get it.
[1:11:51] Yeah?
[1:11:52] What's that?
[1:11:53] Salazar's looking good.
Elliott Kalan
[1:11:54] It's the classic thing in movies of the phone picks up, and you don't wait for the other
[1:11:57] person to say, hello.
[1:11:58] You just immediately say the incriminating evidence.
[1:12:00] I got some incriminating evidence to unload.
Dan McCoy
[1:12:03] And Link accuses him.
[1:12:06] What's his name again?
[1:12:07] Karis.
[1:12:08] Karis.
[1:12:08] Right when he comes back, which to me seems like a bad idea.
[1:12:11] Wait till there's backup in the room, girl.
[1:12:13] Like, why are you just like, you know?
Stuart Wellington
[1:12:16] And again, she's wearing this terrible wig, which I think probably makes her feel like
[1:12:19] she has immunity because she's somebody else.
[1:12:21] That's true.
Elliott Kalan
[1:12:22] And I think, and she's distraught.
[1:12:24] You know, she really loved him.
[1:12:25] Dan, here's how you remember his name is Karis.
[1:12:28] There's Anton and Karis, and that is a reference to Anton Karis, who played the zither in the
[1:12:33] third man soundtrack.
[1:12:34] Actually, that's true.
[1:12:35] Oh, that's a helpful mnemonic.
[1:12:38] That's a good mnemonic for remembering the character names in the movies, Cash Out and
[1:12:42] High Rollers.
[1:12:43] Well, in that case, Karis.
[1:12:44] And if you're watching High Rollers and the third man, you have an interesting night ahead
[1:12:49] of you.
[1:12:50] So Karis, yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:12:51] Karis did this because he won revenge on Mason for making him look like a fool in the
[1:12:57] first movie, and also Salazar's threatening his family.
[1:13:02] But Link has none of it.
[1:13:03] First part seems less important.
[1:13:06] They should have led with the family.
[1:13:08] Travolta has heard all this on his earpiece.
[1:13:11] He's sympathetic.
[1:13:12] That guy's one of the world's nicest super criminals, I'll tell you.
Elliott Kalan
[1:13:15] Not since the mercenaries of Jurassic World Rebirth have we seen people who live in a moral
[1:13:19] gray zone but are just sweetie pies.
Dan McCoy
[1:13:22] Bella shows up with security, insisting that Travolta simply-
Elliott Kalan
[1:13:27] I want to say this.
[1:13:28] It sounded like you said Shakira, like Shakira, is there security?
[1:13:31] And also, Trollta, like John Travolta, is now a troll.
[1:13:36] And I want to see that movie.
[1:13:37] I want to see the movie where John Travolta's character is a troll, like in the movie Trolls.
[1:13:41] And Shakira is the security guard.
[1:13:43] I want to see it.
[1:13:44] Yeah.
[1:13:44] But it's like big crazy hairs instead of beard, right?
[1:13:47] Yeah.
[1:13:47] Yeah.
[1:13:47] He has a big crazy beard that comes out like that.
[1:13:50] But he's bald on the top.
[1:13:51] Yeah.
[1:13:51] Well, unfortunately-
[1:13:52] And they call him John Travolta.
Stuart Wellington
[1:13:54] We're-
[1:13:55] If only we had a trolls expert in the house.
[1:13:57] But I guess we don't.
[1:13:58] So let's move on.
Jordan Morris
[1:14:00] Unfortunately.
[1:14:01] Yes, I briefly worked for DreamWorks' Trollstopia, the streaming companion piece to the Trolls
[1:14:08] films.
[1:14:08] So what do you think of Troll-
Dan McCoy
[1:14:10] How did it expand the world?
[1:14:12] Sorry.
Stuart Wellington
[1:14:13] I was going to say, do you think Trollta would have been a great addition to the Trolls canon?
Jordan Morris
[1:14:18] Listen, I pitched it.
[1:14:19] I pitched it like he can dance.
[1:14:23] If he wants to.
[1:14:24] If he wants to.
Dan McCoy
[1:14:26] Bella shows up with security saying, Donovan, Donovan, you simply must come see your buddy
[1:14:33] Chaz.
[1:14:34] And it seems like the jig is up, but he keeps sticking to his story.
Elliott Kalan
[1:14:39] She goes, Chaz, his limp is getting worse.
[1:14:42] He goes, Chaz never had a limp.
[1:14:43] Yeah.
[1:14:44] He doesn't fall into that trap.
Dan McCoy
[1:14:45] Yeah.
[1:14:46] On his earpiece, he hears from Link that there's a fancy hidden compartment inside a giant ruby
[1:14:51] like the one Bella's wearing on her necklace.
[1:14:55] Her jewelry costume.
[1:14:56] That you can also get at Spirit Halloween.
Jordan Morris
[1:15:00] I mean, that promo code High Rollers.
Elliott Kalan
[1:15:03] That ruby is so enormous.
[1:15:04] Yeah.
[1:15:04] It's either fake or it costs $100 million.
[1:15:08] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[1:15:09] It's either fake or a key to a lock in Resident Evil.
Elliott Kalan
[1:15:12] Or it's some kind of gem from another dimension that imbues the wearer with the power of the
[1:15:21] gods.
[1:15:21] You know, it's enormous.
[1:15:23] It's a He-Man sized ruby.
Dan McCoy
[1:15:25] We get a few hilarious seconds of Travolta being like, Chaz, buddy, you lost weight.
[1:15:31] Just like trying to like bullshit his way through it.
Elliott Kalan
[1:15:33] It's so funny, the idea that he is like, you know what?
[1:15:35] I'm just going to go for it.
[1:15:36] I'm just going to pretend that he goes to it.
[1:15:38] That's jazz.
[1:15:40] And the way he gets out of the situation is so hilariously relaxed fit.
[1:15:45] Dan, how does he get out of this situation?
[1:15:47] The lights go out.
Dan McCoy
[1:15:48] I assume Link cut the lights.
[1:15:49] And he just grabs the necklace.
[1:15:51] And runs away.
[1:15:52] And runs away.
Elliott Kalan
[1:15:53] Because the necklace, of course, is on a breakaway chain.
[1:15:56] But it is the goofy.
[1:15:58] And then no one chases him.
[1:15:59] They just stand around going, that wasn't Donovan.
[1:16:02] What is this?
Jordan Morris
[1:16:03] Surely we can't catch this 70-year-old man toddling through this hotel lobby.
[1:16:08] It's true.
Dan McCoy
[1:16:08] There is like, this does lead directly into gunplay, but it's from the feds.
[1:16:11] It's not even them chasing.
Elliott Kalan
[1:16:12] I would say this is the silliest getting away.
[1:16:16] But we did see them escape the feds by jumping in a pool.
[1:16:19] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:16:21] The police are called in.
[1:16:22] Hector gets rescued.
[1:16:23] Travolta and Link slip off dressed as chefs.
[1:16:27] They have apparently punched out some chefs and undressed them and taken their clothes or something.
Jordan Morris
[1:16:32] This does have one moment of someone on the kitchen staff recognizing them and like calling it in.
[1:16:38] It's the first time that that is even remotely realistic.
[1:16:40] Because yeah, they've been 10 different hotel employees during this movie.
[1:16:45] And this is the one time where someone's like, I guess I've never seen these people.
Stuart Wellington
[1:16:49] Are we on like a fucking undercover boss or something?
[1:16:51] Oh, yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[1:16:52] Because that wig is so bad.
[1:16:54] Terrible wig.
[1:16:55] Is that Bella pretending that she works here?
[1:16:57] It makes me – so over Christmas, I was in a hotel in Hawaii.
[1:17:01] I know.
[1:17:01] I live a great life.
[1:17:02] And it makes me wonder if I had just taken someone's uniform and walked around the hotel pretending I worked there,
[1:17:09] would anyone have noticed?
[1:17:11] Would they have called me out or they just assumed I worked there?
Stuart Wellington
[1:17:13] That is the plot of White Lotus Season 4, Elliot.
[1:17:15] Whoa.
Dan McCoy
[1:17:17] Sounds sexy.
[1:17:19] They're trying to escape through their – I guess their escape.
Elliott Kalan
[1:17:23] No, I swear.
[1:17:24] I'm a guest here.
[1:17:25] I don't really work here.
[1:17:26] Sure, sure.
[1:17:27] You're working in the boiler room dungeon now.
[1:17:29] No, no.
Dan McCoy
[1:17:32] Their escape involves going under like the stage of the theater in the casino.
[1:17:37] But they're stopped.
Elliott Kalan
[1:17:37] Theater is putting it.
[1:17:38] Theater is putting it.
[1:17:39] It's really building it up.
Dan McCoy
[1:17:40] It's more like a convention hall.
Elliott Kalan
[1:17:41] It's like an auditorium at best.
[1:17:42] Yeah, yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:17:43] They're stopped by Zayd, who is upset but not surprised to learn that his brother is behind everything that's going on.
[1:17:49] And he's going to shoot Travolta.
[1:17:52] But Karis shows up to redeem himself and hits him with a fire extinguisher.
[1:17:57] Not how they're supposed to be used.
[1:17:59] No.
[1:18:00] He gets stabbed for his troubles.
[1:18:02] And it looks like Zayd is going to take the upper hand.
[1:18:06] But then Bella shows up and shoots him saying that he stole something from her and she's going to get it back.
[1:18:12] And the team escapes through a tunnel.
Stuart Wellington
[1:18:14] And even though Karis got stabbed in the leg like in the opening of 28 Years Later, he doesn't die immediately.
[1:18:20] No, it didn't hit the artery.
Elliott Kalan
[1:18:21] And he's actually pretty good at running from that point on.
Dan McCoy
[1:18:23] Yeah.
[1:18:24] Yeah.
[1:18:24] They come out from this long, you know, like duct work and tunnel thing to Zayd's shrimp processing plants.
[1:18:33] Mm-hmm.
[1:18:33] Which is right next to the casino.
[1:18:36] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[1:18:37] There's a big...
[1:18:37] It's implied that it is under the hotel, which is strange.
[1:18:41] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:18:42] There's a big shootout here that's shot really strangely, including some like first-person shooter things where you just see like an arm and a gun.
[1:18:49] And I'm like, was this because they didn't get the actors back?
[1:18:52] They're doing pickups later on.
Elliott Kalan
[1:18:53] I'm assuming there were some drone shots too.
[1:18:55] There's a lot of drone shots.
[1:18:56] Yeah, yeah.
[1:18:56] Zooming around with drones.
[1:18:57] A lot of drone shots zooming around.
[1:18:58] CGI blood.
[1:18:59] There's one scene where the camera's zooming around while it's following them.
[1:19:02] And then I missed a cut the first time I watched it.
[1:19:05] And so I thought they were running into a room where they were also running in from the other side of the room.
[1:19:09] And I was like, what is going on in this movie?
[1:19:11] The temporal pincher movement.
[1:19:12] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[1:19:14] But just that...
Elliott Kalan
[1:19:15] What's that movie?
[1:19:16] Is it Contact?
[1:19:16] The movie where someone runs up a flight of stairs to a mirror and then it turns out we were looking at the reflection the whole time?
[1:19:21] Yes, Contact.
Stuart Wellington
[1:19:22] Yeah.
[1:19:22] It's amazing.
[1:19:23] It's a great show.
Dan McCoy
[1:19:25] Just outside the shrimp factory, they get stopped by Salazar and some goons who have Gina Gershon.
[1:19:31] They give him the dirt box and Salazar seems like he's going to go back on the exchange and he calls back to how he's never killed anyone.
[1:19:41] And he recently learned from Gina Gershon that it can be orgasmic if it's someone bad.
[1:19:48] But he's a cynical man who thinks that everyone's bad.
[1:19:50] So he can shoot anybody.
Elliott Kalan
[1:19:53] Finally, I will be multi-orgasmic because the period it takes me to re-achieve erection is too long for me to do it in the normal way.
Stuart Wellington
[1:20:03] Finally, I can be like Sting and do it.
[1:20:05] It's called the refractory period.
Elliott Kalan
[1:20:06] My hero Sting.
[1:20:08] My hero Sting.
Stuart Wellington
[1:20:09] I can achieve a Stinggasm by not touching my weenus.
Jordan Morris
[1:20:13] This happened to be like, I'm on a field of gold.
[1:20:16] This scene has another example of that thing where someone gets a cliche kind of wrong, like can't help a girl for trying.
[1:20:23] I think the bad guy says something along the lines of like, let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
[1:20:28] But he's like, I'm not a Bible man.
[1:20:32] I think what he probably should have said was, I'm not a religious man.
Elliott Kalan
[1:20:36] But he says, I'm not a Bible man.
[1:20:39] Well, no.
[1:20:39] Because he was referring to Bible man, the character Willie Ames played in the series.
[1:20:43] Right, right.
[1:20:43] He's a Christian video.
Dan McCoy
[1:20:44] He's a VHS superhero from the 90s.
[1:20:47] Documentary salesman about Bible sellers.
[1:20:51] He's not one of them.
Elliott Kalan
[1:20:53] I'm not one of those Bible men who live a life of misery.
[1:20:56] A real probing look at American capitalism at its most naked.
Stuart Wellington
[1:21:02] To sell these Bibles, you have to ABC, always be Christen.
[1:21:09] Always be Christen.
Elliott Kalan
[1:21:11] Is that what God told Jesus before he sent him down?
[1:21:13] ABC, always be Christen.
[1:21:16] What if I just want to take a break from Christen?
[1:21:18] Like if I'm tired of healing lepers, no.
[1:21:20] ABC.
[1:21:20] You want to get, look, first prize.
[1:21:22] First prize is the car.
[1:21:24] Second prize is the steak.
[1:21:25] Coffee is for Christers.
[1:21:26] Third prize, you get crucified.
Dan McCoy
[1:21:28] Also think to yourself, what would you do?
[1:21:32] Yeah.
[1:21:32] It's from Glen Gary, Glen Christ.
Elliott Kalan
[1:21:36] Oh, the saddest one is the old man Christ who's like, come on, I just got to get another couple conversions.
[1:21:43] Help me out here.
[1:21:45] Oh, you tried to convert the Nyborgs?
[1:21:46] Oh, yeah.
[1:21:47] They just like talking to Christ.
[1:21:49] They don't want to, they don't actually convert.
[1:21:52] There's a good, that's a good sketch.
[1:21:53] That's a good, if we ever write for Mr. Show, Glen Gary, Glen Christ is a good sketch.
[1:21:57] It would be a good sketch.
[1:21:57] The apostles are all like the characters from Glen Gary.
[1:21:59] I think that now's the time for Mr. Show to come back, right?
Jordan Morris
[1:22:02] Bob Odenkirk's not busy.
[1:22:04] He can do another season of Mr. Show.
Stuart Wellington
[1:22:07] It's like, wow, Odenkirk keeps pitching these sketches where he's like super ripped and beating dudes up, beating up Eastern European stuntmen.
[1:22:14] Makes me laugh.
Dan McCoy
[1:22:18] Salazar sets up a conundrum for Travolta.
[1:22:22] He's like, you can take.
Elliott Kalan
[1:22:23] I want to do one, wait, one more extra.
[1:22:25] Okay, sure.
[1:22:26] Jesus is giving his talk to the apostles and he goes, look to the, consider the lilies.
[1:22:32] Do they weave or spin?
[1:22:33] No, that's why I fired their asses.
[1:22:35] Get to work, everybody.
[1:22:37] Worth it.
[1:22:38] Okay, so.
[1:22:39] You're all fisher of men, so hook me some big fucking fish.
[1:22:41] Get me a whale out there.
Dan McCoy
[1:22:43] Salazar's like, you can take Gina Gershon.
[1:22:46] I mean, the character's name, whatever.
Elliott Kalan
[1:22:48] Or you can take.
[1:22:49] You can take Gina Gershon out of the movie, but you can't take the movie out of Gina Gershon.
[1:22:52] I'm going to shoot Lucas Haas.
Dan McCoy
[1:22:54] So who do you, who do you pick?
[1:22:55] Your wife or your brother?
Stuart Wellington
[1:22:57] Instead.
[1:22:58] Lucas Haas has a look on his face where he's like, no, I can go.
[1:23:01] What did I do?
Jordan Morris
[1:23:03] I'm not super integral to this.
Elliott Kalan
[1:23:06] I guess you don't have to unlock both safes at once.
[1:23:08] I never really redeemed myself after that Seattle thing.
[1:23:11] Oh boy.
Jordan Morris
[1:23:12] Well, we all know what happened in Seattle.
[1:23:13] Oh boy.
[1:23:15] That was my adventure that we all remember.
Elliott Kalan
[1:23:18] Talk about sleepless.
Dan McCoy
[1:23:19] Yeah.
[1:23:20] Of course.
[1:23:21] Travolta cuts through this Gordian nut by offering himself up instead.
[1:23:25] Yes.
[1:23:26] But the non-killer drug lord hesitates just long enough.
Elliott Kalan
[1:23:29] This is so funny.
[1:23:30] This goes on for way longer than it needs to.
[1:23:33] Where he's going, kill me, man.
[1:23:34] Fucking do it.
[1:23:35] Fucking kill me.
Jordan Morris
[1:23:35] And Salazar's like, hey, hey, hey.
[1:23:36] I will.
[1:23:37] Hey, hey, hey.
[1:23:38] I will.
[1:23:38] I'm going to kill you.
[1:23:39] I'm going to do that.
[1:23:40] That thing you said, I'm going to do it.
[1:23:42] Oh, it does second now.
[1:23:42] I'm edging myself.
Elliott Kalan
[1:23:44] It's called Goony.
[1:23:44] I'm going to do just the right moment.
[1:23:45] Yeah.
[1:23:45] It's Goony.
[1:23:48] I'm live streaming to my Goony killer friends that I'm going to kill you and I haven't done it yet.
[1:23:53] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:23:54] He delays just long enough for Gershon to kick the gun out of his hand and then the feds run in.
[1:24:01] I don't know what they're fucking waiting for if they were close enough to do this.
[1:24:04] But it turns out that Travolta says took it long enough.
[1:24:07] They're all getting hot and heavy watching the guy almost get blasted.
[1:24:10] It turns out the big non-twist is that it seemed that we didn't see a flashback.
[1:24:16] Travolta had tipped off the feds earlier in exchange for a deal.
[1:24:20] A deal which gets everyone immunity, even though they apparently were all on the FBI's most wanted list in return for Salazar.
Elliott Kalan
[1:24:29] And the private jet anywhere they wanted to go.
[1:24:33] It's also like what happened in Seattle that they are on the FBI's most wanted list?
[1:24:38] You've got that dirt box, man.
[1:24:40] Osama bin Laden was on the FBI's most wanted list at one point.
[1:24:43] It's got dirt on everyone.
[1:24:44] At this point, if they're on the FBI's most wanted list, it's because they're probably from Somalia or another country.
[1:24:50] But still, that's political commentary right there.
[1:24:53] The FBI has taken its eye off the ball.
[1:24:55] Oh, wow.
Dan McCoy
[1:24:57] Yeah.
[1:24:57] Well, I mean—
[1:24:58] Elliot got them finally.
[1:24:59] Yeah, finally.
[1:25:00] True, if not particularly amusing.
[1:25:02] It's not funny at all.
[1:25:03] It's not funny.
[1:25:04] Also—
Elliott Kalan
[1:25:04] Dan, we don't—
[1:25:05] I feel like the Flophouse isn't really about jokes.
[1:25:08] It's about illuminating and enlightening people.
[1:25:11] Yes, thank you.
[1:25:12] Speaking truth to power.
[1:25:14] Yeah, in between all the stinkers, sometimes we give you some thinkers.
Stuart Wellington
[1:25:17] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[1:25:18] I would say that—
[1:25:18] It would be very funny if it turned out that Kash Patel listens to this and is like,
[1:25:21] hey, I like your podcast, so you're talking about me.
Jordan Morris
[1:25:24] No, I mean, Stuart, isn't that where you guys did get your slogan, two in the think, one in the stink?
[1:25:29] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[1:25:31] That was going to be on our T-shirt, and then all those T-shirts got burned.
[1:25:34] Yeah, the T-shirt company said they refused, yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:25:37] I was going to say that no one goes to podcasts for that, but unfortunately, people went to the wrong podcast for this sort of thing, and that was part of the problem.
[1:25:45] Yeah, part of the problem.
[1:25:46] It's kind of ruined it.
[1:25:47] I guess—
[1:25:47] I guess—
Dan McCoy
[1:25:47] I guess—
[1:25:47] I guess—
Stuart Wellington
[1:25:47] I guess this podcast complaining about ladies in Star Wars makes me want to overthrow the government.
Elliott Kalan
[1:25:52] I mean, imagine—this reminds me of something that friend of the podcast, Jubin Parang, once said to me, where he goes, imagine how much money I could make if I just sold out and became the right-wing Persian guy who wants to bomb Iran.
[1:26:04] Imagine how much money I could be making right now if I had no principles and I could be that guy.
[1:26:09] And just think about it.
[1:26:10] Guys, we could be making so much money now if we just became evil.
[1:26:12] Jubin would be really good at that.
[1:26:12] I mean, guys—
[1:26:13] He would be great at it.
[1:26:14] Yeah, guys.
Jordan Morris
[1:26:14] I mean, I think we should probably all just start complaining about the MCU.
[1:26:18] Yeah.
[1:26:19] Wait, is that what they call it?
[1:26:20] It is, yeah.
[1:26:21] The right-wing YouTube guys were mad about Captain Marvel.
[1:26:22] Because there's like three female characters?
Stuart Wellington
[1:26:24] Yeah.
[1:26:24] 18 years ago, if we had started a YouTube channel being shitheads, we'd have vacation homes now.
[1:26:31] Yeah.
[1:26:31] Oh, we'd be so rich.
[1:26:32] We'd be miserable.
[1:26:32] We'd be so rich.
[1:26:33] And what I'm—
[1:26:34] Oh, well, we'd go to hell.
[1:26:35] Everyone would go to hell.
Jordan Morris
[1:26:35] It would fear our fans.
Dan McCoy
[1:26:37] And certainly what I'm good at is saying things I don't believe going against my principles.
[1:26:42] I'm really comfortable with that.
Elliott Kalan
[1:26:44] Yeah.
[1:26:45] Yeah, Dan.
[1:26:45] I think, Dan, you would have a hard time keeping that kayfabe for some of the years.
Jordan Morris
[1:26:48] Listen, Kathleen Kennedy intentionally made—
[1:26:51] No.
[1:26:51] No.
[1:26:51] Bad Star Wars movies so little boys would feel bad.
Elliott Kalan
[1:26:54] Not even as a joke.
[1:26:55] Just like every comic book person is intentionally making bad issues of the comics they make because they hate the characters and want to destroy them.
[1:27:03] Yeah, exactly.
[1:27:03] I've heard that one.
[1:27:04] Yeah, yeah.
Jordan Morris
[1:27:04] I've heard that one.
[1:27:05] I've been called that.
[1:27:06] And guys, we're all parodying bad takes from internet people.
[1:27:10] Yes.
[1:27:10] Just so you don't think we're actual—
[1:27:11] Right now, we don't really—
[1:27:12] We don't actually—
[1:27:13] We're being—
[1:27:13] Yes.
Stuart Wellington
[1:27:14] If the FBI is listening—
[1:27:15] We're just one.
[1:27:16] We're just one.
[1:27:17] I love the MCU.
Dan McCoy
[1:27:19] I have literally one more bullet point in my notes.
Elliott Kalan
[1:27:23] Oh, so we got more time to goof.
Dan McCoy
[1:27:24] Also, it turns out that the first thumb drive—
Elliott Kalan
[1:27:29] You guys want to be like fake conservatives for a little bit more?
[1:27:32] I got to tell you, even pretending to be a fake—
[1:27:34] It sucks.
[1:27:34] I used to find it very funny to be a fake conservative, but now it's like—
[1:27:38] It's fun to be a fake Nazi until the Nazis are in charge.
[1:27:41] And then it's like, ugh, this is gross now, you know.
[1:27:44] That being said, the accent, still hilarious.
[1:27:46] Oh, I'm in the field.
[1:27:47] Still hilarious, yeah.
[1:27:48] A lot of fun.
Jordan Morris
[1:27:50] Also—
Elliott Kalan
[1:27:50] Grab a me sign of that thing.
[1:27:51] You know, it's still funny, yeah.
Jordan Morris
[1:27:54] What's this bullet point we've been hearing so much about, Dan?
Dan McCoy
[1:27:56] It turns out that the first thumb drive that they found, the one that—
[1:27:59] Was an actual thumb.
[1:28:00] The one that are like, fuck this thumb drive.
[1:28:04] Uh-uh.
[1:28:05] Sean has it.
[1:28:06] It's the one with the 600 million in crypto in it.
[1:28:09] Whoa.
[1:28:09] Oh, Crime Squad wins again.
[1:28:11] Everything turns out all for crime guys.
Elliott Kalan
[1:28:13] The crime—
[1:28:14] And they walk away and they're like, we did it now.
[1:28:17] And it's like, wait, so—
[1:28:18] I mean, yeah, that was a crime.
[1:28:19] You stole that.
[1:28:20] I don't know.
Stuart Wellington
[1:28:21] But there's 600 million and there's like six of them, right?
[1:28:25] Yeah.
[1:28:25] If there were only like five of them, they'd each get more money.
[1:28:29] So that's going to be the third movie, which is that they're hunting each other down.
Elliott Kalan
[1:28:32] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[1:28:33] Like a Tontine thing.
[1:28:34] Yeah, exactly.
[1:28:35] A Tauntaun thing?
Elliott Kalan
[1:28:36] A Tauntaun thing.
[1:28:37] They're cutting open each other and stuffing themselves in to stay warm.
Stuart Wellington
[1:28:40] Tauntaun thing.
[1:28:41] A little French guy who goes on adventures.
[1:28:44] I guess he's Belgian, right?
[1:28:45] Yeah, he's Belgian.
[1:28:46] He's not French.
[1:28:47] Yeah.
[1:28:47] A boring comic book that smart parents get for their kids.
[1:28:50] Wow.
Elliott Kalan
[1:28:51] I mean, to be honest, when I was a kid, I was always like, this is not exciting to me.
[1:28:55] But it's probably the kind of thing that Dan would like.
Dan McCoy
[1:28:57] Tintin?
[1:28:57] Yeah.
[1:28:58] Yeah.
[1:28:58] I enjoy that sort of light adventure.
[1:29:02] And the clean line style.
[1:29:04] Clean line style.
[1:29:04] That's true.
[1:29:05] That's true.
Elliott Kalan
[1:29:05] The clean line style.
[1:29:05] Yeah.
[1:29:06] When I was a kid, I would read it and I'm like, when's Tintin going to lose a hand?
[1:29:11] Eventually, the sea captain's going to get killed, right?
[1:29:13] And then Tintin's going to get revenge.
[1:29:15] When is that going to happen?
Dan McCoy
[1:29:16] I actually didn't read them as a kid, though.
[1:29:17] As a kid, I was reading Tales from the Crypt comics.
[1:29:21] Yeah, yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[1:29:21] At some point, Snowy's going to snap and just start ripping out throats, right?
[1:29:28] Got to be sure.
Elliott Kalan
[1:29:28] At what point do they find Tintin dead and Snowy has eaten half of the corpse?
[1:29:33] Maybe the answer will be found.
[1:29:35] When Tintin goes into the public domain, all this stuff will happen.
[1:29:37] Yeah.
[1:29:37] They'll make a horror Tintin movie.
Dan McCoy
[1:29:38] Eli Roth's Tintin.
[1:29:40] And our final judgments.
[1:29:42] Final judgments.
[1:29:43] This is a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie kind of like.
[1:29:47] I'm going to say, you know, watching it alone, we've run into this problem before.
[1:29:52] We've talked about it.
[1:29:53] Maybe not the most delightful way that one could watch this movie.
[1:29:57] No.
[1:29:58] Like, it's still a bit of a slog watching it, you know, during the day as a man alone in a house.
Stuart Wellington
[1:30:07] Why are my grandkids calling me?
Elliott Kalan
[1:30:11] But I do think that –
[1:30:12] The problem is also, Dan, you live in such a silly house that you're distracted by all the talking objects.
[1:30:16] Right, right, right, right.
[1:30:17] But I do think that –
[1:30:17] Can you imagine Pee Wee Herman must have had so much trouble just watching regular TV because his furniture is constantly talking to him.
[1:30:24] There must have been times he'll be like, just shut up.
[1:30:25] I just want to watch the show.
Jordan Morris
[1:30:26] Guys, I'm trying to finish the wire.
Elliott Kalan
[1:30:32] I do think that –
[1:30:33] That's a secret word.
[1:30:34] Why?
[1:30:35] Pee Wee, what are you watching?
[1:30:37] Guys?
[1:30:38] Terry?
Dan McCoy
[1:30:40] That was a good Terry.
[1:30:42] Thank you.
[1:30:43] No, I think if you got a group of friends together –
[1:30:45] Oh, but I was doing Terry Gard.
Elliott Kalan
[1:30:46] Did it sound like her?
Dan McCoy
[1:30:47] Yeah.
[1:30:47] I think if you got a group of friends together, this would actually be a pretty fun bad movie to watch.
[1:30:52] Because there are some bad movies where it's like, it's bad because everything is wrong.
[1:30:58] And there are other ones where like the fun of it is like, okay, like I can see the big blockbuster movie you're trying to be, but the broken Xerox machine you made it on makes it funny.
Stuart Wellington
[1:31:08] Yeah, it's like the Uncanny Valley movies where you're like, it's just – it's close enough that you're like, this is kind of a movie, right?
[1:31:16] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:31:16] So I'm going to go good bad.
[1:31:17] A little marginal, but good bad.
Stuart Wellington
[1:31:19] I'm going to agree with you.
[1:31:20] I think this is – I enjoyed watching it alone in my apartment where I changed – put the motion smoothing on my TV.
[1:31:28] As this movie was meant to be seen.
[1:31:30] Yeah, smoother, smoother.
[1:31:31] Yeah, yeah.
[1:31:32] While there was like a thumbnail of Landman in the corner.
[1:31:36] And yeah, I think it's a fun good bad movie and it would be fun – it would be a fun bad movie night movie to watch as well.
Elliott Kalan
[1:31:45] I agree.
[1:31:46] I think it is not the most fun by yourself, but it would be a fun movie to watch.
[1:31:49] It somehow manages to combine the fun of watching famous people in something that they should not – that they should be above being in and the fun of watching a movie that feels like it was made by random people in the middle of nowhere who don't fully know what they're doing.
[1:32:04] So yeah, I would call it a good bad movie as well.
[1:32:06] What about you, Jordan?
[1:32:06] Yeah.
[1:32:07] You ready to buck the trend?
Jordan Morris
[1:32:08] I think – no, not at all.
[1:32:09] I'm going to go with the flow and say, yes, I agree with all these points.
[1:32:13] Yeah, a little bit of a weird one to just turn on by yourself, but I think for bad movie night purposes, this is a fun choice.
[1:32:20] And it did get me curious about like the Travolta slop.
[1:32:24] Like I am very familiar with the cage slop and I like it a lot and I love just booting up a random Nicolas Cage movie and seeing if it's one of the good ones.
[1:32:32] And I did get curious like are there – does Travolta have a pig out there or a color out of space where it's like, oh, he was in this kind of weird cheap movie but he's great in it.
[1:32:42] Anyway, so it has gotten me thinking about the world of Travolta slop and I'm curious.
Stuart Wellington
[1:32:50] And sign me up for the third part in the series, right?
[1:32:53] There's going to be more, right?
[1:32:54] There's got to be.
[1:32:54] There's got to be.
[1:32:55] There's got to be.
[1:32:57] There's got to be.
[1:32:58] I mean, I do – you know, like –
[1:32:58] You meet the third brother of the Salazar, Zayn Blackfell.
[1:33:02] We got to meet the third brother.
Elliott Kalan
[1:33:05] Oh, wait, wait, wait.
[1:33:06] It says right here – I'm looking at John Travolta's filmography on Wikipedia.
[1:33:10] It says to be announced, cash out three.
[1:33:13] No way.
[1:33:14] No way.
[1:33:16] I think they're planning to do the third.
[1:33:17] Okay.
[1:33:17] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[1:33:18] Yeah, they're just waiting for Comic-Con to make the announcement.
Elliott Kalan
[1:33:23] I do think it's funny that –
[1:33:24] When they have all the titles for phase three of the cash out-averse, yeah, on the screen.
Dan McCoy
[1:33:28] That Travolta and Cage are, of course, linked because of face-off.
[1:33:34] And it does seem like Travolta is, like, picking up the slack now that Cage has sort of, like, clawed his way into mostly better material.
[1:33:42] Travolta is doing the sort of thing that Cage was doing for a while.
Elliott Kalan
[1:33:46] I think we may need to look at more Travolta movies to be – because have we – is this the first one we've seen since The Fanatic years back?
Dan McCoy
[1:33:53] Yeah, The Fanatic was the last one.
Elliott Kalan
[1:33:54] Because I think – and Gotti was before that.
[1:33:56] I think we got a –
[1:33:57] Gotti's rough.
[1:33:58] Gotti's rough.
[1:33:58] This is an untapped vein that we should be looking into more.
[1:34:01] Yeah.
S5
[1:34:06] Hey, Alexis.
[1:34:07] Hey, Ella.
[1:34:08] What animal has the most teeth?
[1:34:10] I would guess a shark.
[1:34:12] A snail.
[1:34:13] No, snails don't have teeth.
[1:34:15] They have thousands, and they are freaky looking.
[1:34:19] No, I don't want that to be true.
[1:34:21] Okay.
[1:34:22] Did you know that the hippocampus in your brain is named after the half-horse, half-fish sea creature found in Greek mythology?
[1:34:28] I didn't know that, but we're meant to be doing animal trivia, and hippocampus isn't a real animal.
[1:34:32] Well, that doesn't matter on Comfort Creatures.
[1:34:34] You're right, it doesn't matter at all.
[1:34:35] Comfort Creatures is a cozy show for lovers of animals of all shapes and sizes, real and unreal.
[1:34:40] If that sounds like your cup of tea, then join us every Thursday for new episodes on MaximumFun.org.
Jordan Morris
[1:34:48] Are you a celebrity?
[1:34:49] Are you searching for meaning, connection, and a little levity these days?
[1:34:54] Hi, I'm Kumail Nanjiani, actor, writer, and yes, a celebrity too.
[1:34:59] And I've got four words for you.
[1:35:01] Bullseye with Jesse Thorne.
[1:35:04] Are you tired of junkets, red carpets, sick of the endless spicy snacks you have to eat?
[1:35:11] Do you want to connect with someone who gets your work and laugh with you a little?
[1:35:15] Join me, Andre 3000, Tom Hanks, Tina Fey, and many more and become a guest on Bullseye with Jesse Thorne from NPR and Maximum Fun.
Dan McCoy
[1:35:27] The Flophouse is sponsored in part by Factor.
[1:35:31] You know, when it gets cold, maybe you don't want to worry about cooking, you know, on top of everything else.
[1:35:38] We're in a bomb vortex right now, guys.
[1:35:40] A bomb vortex.
[1:35:41] Wow.
Elliott Kalan
[1:35:42] Can't get to the store when that's going on.
Dan McCoy
[1:35:44] Yeah, Factor makes it easy.
[1:35:45] Easy to eat healthy with fully prepared meals designed by dieticians and crafted by chefs.
[1:35:51] So eat well without all that planning and cooking.
[1:35:55] And Factor meals feature quality, functional ingredients.
[1:35:59] You don't want unfunctional ingredients, including lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole food ingredients, and healthy fats.
Elliott Kalan
[1:36:07] Some places send you unfunctional ingredients and it'll be like an old pacifier, a scrap of cloth, you know, hair, just a bag of hair.
[1:36:16] You don't want to eat that.
[1:36:17] Factor will never send you that kind of stuff.
[1:36:18] They send you good food ingredients.
Dan McCoy
[1:36:20] It's true.
[1:36:21] And you won't find refined sugars, artificial sweeteners, refined seed oils, and with 100 rotating weekly meals to keep things fresh and delicious through winter, you're going to find something you like.
[1:36:32] They're ready to eat in about two minutes.
[1:36:34] I have enjoyed Factor meals in the past.
[1:36:37] I've said it before, but I'll say it again.
[1:36:39] I'm a man, unlike Elliot, who likes to cook.
[1:36:42] And yet, and yet.
Elliott Kalan
[1:36:44] You're a man, comma, unlike, wait, I don't like to cook.
[1:36:47] You said it a little confusingly.
[1:36:48] I don't like to cook.
Dan McCoy
[1:36:48] Unlike Elliot, I like to cook, I said.
Elliott Kalan
[1:36:52] You said, I'm a man, unlike Elliot, who likes to cook.
[1:36:55] Yeah.
[1:36:55] I just want people to think that Elliot likes to cook.
Dan McCoy
[1:36:57] Okay.
[1:36:58] I don't think that would have been a problem.
[1:37:00] But in case there was any issue.
[1:37:02] It's the way I heard it.
Elliott Kalan
[1:37:03] And I was like, do I like to cook?
[1:37:04] Well, when I'm playing with a jazz band, I'd love to get cooking.
[1:37:07] But still, yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:37:08] Let them cook, we say.
[1:37:09] Yeah.
[1:37:10] Point is, everyone needs a break.
[1:37:13] Even people like Dan's, who enjoy doing chores around the house, who would be perfectly happy doing chores around the house all the time.
[1:37:22] But that doesn't mean I don't get tired.
[1:37:24] I like these Factor Meals.
[1:37:25] They're tasty, and they're healthy, and they get done quickly.
[1:37:30] So, head to factionmeals.com slash flop50off, that's the numeral 50, and use code FLOP50OFF to get 50% off and free breakfast for a year.
[1:37:41] Eat like a pro this month with Factor.
[1:37:44] New subscribers only varies by plan.
[1:37:47] One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active.
Stuart Wellington
[1:37:51] Now, the movie we just watched, High Rollers, features a high-tech hacker by the name of Link.
[1:37:57] And maybe you yourself are somebody who wants to get into cyberspace, but you do not have the special set of skills possessed by Link from the movie High Rollers.
[1:38:07] Well, have no fear.
[1:38:09] You can set up your own website using Squarespace.
[1:38:13] Squarespace gives you all the tools you need to run a small business using a webpage, and Squarespace helps you do that.
[1:38:22] You can get paid.
[1:38:23] You can send invoices.
[1:38:25] You can do scheduling.
[1:38:26] Very professional stuff.
[1:38:27] And you do not need to be a tech whiz to do it.
[1:38:31] It also has cutting-edge design.
[1:38:33] Maybe in addition to not being able to be a tech whiz, you're also not a design whiz.
[1:38:37] Well, luckily, Squarespace employs tons of them and has tons of beautiful templates.
[1:38:43] Yes.
[1:38:44] Tech wizards.
[1:38:45] Tech wizards.
[1:38:46] Not normal wizards.
[1:38:47] This isn't...
[1:38:47] Oh.
[1:38:48] Never mind.
[1:38:48] It is so fancy that it does seem like magical arts, but in fact, it's just regular arts.
[1:38:55] They provide...
[1:38:55] You can get templates so you can design a very professional-looking website without having to do all the design yourself.
[1:39:02] It's all built in the platform.
[1:39:04] It's great.
[1:39:05] So, make sure that you head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial.
[1:39:12] And when you're ready to launch your site, use offer code FLOP to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or domain.
Elliott Kalan
[1:39:21] I have one Flophouse thing to mention and a couple of personal things to mention in this advertising promotional segment.
[1:39:28] First of all, Flop TV, it's completed in terms of the actual episodes.
[1:39:34] By the time this episode comes out, we will have finished with Flop TV.
[1:39:38] Correct, Dan?
[1:39:38] Because we're recording a little ahead of schedule.
Dan McCoy
[1:39:40] I believe that that's true.
[1:39:42] I mean, we'll have the last episode, but you can still watch.
[1:39:44] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[1:39:45] But that being said, that's what I'm going to.
[1:39:47] Thank you.
[1:39:47] That being said, the episodes are still available at theflophouse.simpleticks.com through the end of February.
[1:39:53] We had a great time this season.
[1:39:55] It was Flopster Peace Theater.
[1:39:56] So, we started with the 2000s and went back in time to look at movies from all different decades.
[1:40:03] We talked about some flops that are legendary that we never talked about.
[1:40:07] A couple of the movies we kind of liked.
[1:40:09] One of them I love.
[1:40:10] It turned out I was watching it.
[1:40:11] And we ended with, of course, Plan 9 from Outer Space, perhaps the most famous of all bad movies,
[1:40:15] the granddaddy of the idea of watching bad movies for fun.
[1:40:18] All those episodes where we had such a good time together.
[1:40:20] And it was so enjoyed by the audience.
[1:40:22] We really loved it.
[1:40:23] And they loved it too.
[1:40:24] You can still watch them.
[1:40:25] If you didn't get a chance to catch them, you can still go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com
[1:40:28] and watch the recordings.
[1:40:30] Buy yourself a season pass.
[1:40:31] You can watch all six episodes for the cost of five.
[1:40:34] And you can see them at your leisure through the end of February.
[1:40:37] That's Flop TV Season 3.
[1:40:40] It's no longer live, but it's still living in our hearts and on the website until the end of February.
[1:40:47] I also had a couple of personal things just to mention.
[1:40:50] I wanted to remind people that I have a new comic series.
[1:40:53] The first issue comes out February 11th.
[1:40:56] And that, if maybe that was before now, again, I don't remember when this episode was coming out.
[1:41:00] But that's my new series, Barbarian Behind Bars from Mad Cave Studios.
[1:41:05] I am reunited with my Maniac of New York co-creator, Andrea Muti.
[1:41:09] And this is a new story about a Conan He-Man type barbarian who ends up in our world,
[1:41:15] chops a mad wizard's head off, gets thrown in jail, and has to figure out how to get out.
[1:41:20] It is about taking a high fantasy character and throwing him into a kind of pulp jail setting.
[1:41:27] And I really had fun writing it.
[1:41:28] And I hope you will have fun reading it.
[1:41:30] That's Barbarian Behind Bars, issue one, coming out this February.
[1:41:33] My joke book, or rather joke writing book, Joke Farming, How to Write Comedy, Other Nonsense,
[1:41:37] still available on store shelves.
[1:41:39] It's not a joke. It's deadly serious.
[1:41:40] It's incredibly deadly.
[1:41:41] Yeah, it's deadly serious.
[1:41:42] It's a deadly serious game of cat and mouse and jokes.
[1:41:45] This is something that really synthesized all my thinking about comedy and how jokes work.
[1:41:51] And now it's just available for you in one book.
[1:41:53] And it's fun to read.
[1:41:54] I think you'll like it.
[1:41:55] And I want to remind you that I'm still writing the Harley Quinn comic monthly at DC Comics.
[1:41:59] And I'm still doing a podcast for Smartless, the podcast Clueless.
[1:42:03] Check it out.
[1:42:04] That's a lot of stuff coming from me.
[1:42:05] Hope you enjoy at least some of it.
[1:42:07] And I hope you buy all of it.
[1:42:08] Thank you.
Dan McCoy
[1:42:11] Let's move on to letters from listeners.
[1:42:13] This one's from Luke, last name withheld.
[1:42:16] Who writes?
[1:42:16] Lucas Haas.
[1:42:17] Yeah.
[1:42:18] I hope you enjoyed my movie, High Rollers.
[1:42:20] I had a lot of fun making it.
Jordan Morris
[1:42:22] Hey, Flop.
[1:42:23] John's great and a wonderful scene, partner.
Dan McCoy
[1:42:26] I didn't look in his eyes, but that's only because it was in both of our contracts that I wouldn't.
[1:42:34] I recently watched Unfaithfully Yours, Preston Sturgis' screwball comedy where Rex Harrison has fantasies about dealing with his possibly cheating wife.
[1:42:43] But here's the thing.
[1:42:45] I went into the movie unaware of that.
[1:42:47] I completely missed the obvious signal that the movie had moved from its reality into fantasy, even though it is indicated by literally zooming into Rex Harrison's eye to show we're going into his mind.
Elliott Kalan
[1:42:58] And he replays it a couple different times in different ways.
Dan McCoy
[1:43:01] I thought the movie suddenly shifted from wacky jokes to full film noir and was genuinely surprised when someone was murdered.
[1:43:10] I didn't understand why everyone was suddenly acting so differently until the fantasy ended.
[1:43:15] This is clearly not what Sturgis intended, but I somehow missed all the clues, Mr. Policeman.
[1:43:20] Has this happened to you?
[1:43:22] Have you ever completely missed an obvious story device and completely misunderstood something that was never meant to be misunderstood?
[1:43:28] Best, Luke, last name with help.
[1:43:30] I mean, the classic Flophouse example is in time.
[1:43:33] In time, yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[1:43:34] Didn't realize.
[1:43:36] We misunderstood that Olivia Wilde was supposed to be Justin Timberlake's mom, right?
[1:43:39] Because of their frackling sexual chemistry.
[1:43:43] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
[1:43:45] Guys, before we answer this question, this is my final thing about John Travolta.
[1:43:48] Apparently, he is in an upcoming movie directed by Rennie Harlan.
[1:43:51] About three generations of a family on a sailing holiday face an orca attack on their boat.
[1:43:55] No way.
[1:43:56] Jesus Christ.
Jordan Morris
[1:43:58] Many things I like in that.
[1:44:00] One ticket, please, for this movie that probably will not be in a place where I would have to buy a ticket.
[1:44:10] One ticket for Black Tides, please.
[1:44:12] That's not a movie that's playing here.
Dan McCoy
[1:44:14] One to be unit, please.
[1:44:16] We show actual movies here.
[1:44:19] I believe you can just go home and dial that one up.
Elliott Kalan
[1:44:24] So, I was trying to think of a – Dan tipped us off about this question ahead of time.
[1:44:28] I was trying to think of an example.
[1:44:30] I know there have been ones where I miss a piece of information that has been stated and then later on I'm like, oh, I guess I was supposed to know that.
[1:44:37] And like my wife will be like, yeah, well, they said it earlier.
[1:44:39] I'm like, oh, I don't know.
[1:44:41] But I'm having trouble thinking of a specific one.
[1:44:42] But I know it's happened.
[1:44:43] I'm not always watching movies with the keen eye that I am known for.
Stuart Wellington
[1:44:48] Yeah, you got to make sure you get all the schmutz off the plates while you're washing them.
Elliott Kalan
[1:44:53] Even when I'm not watching a movie.
[1:44:55] I mean there's the added obstacle of sometimes I am looking at the dish that I'm cleaning while I'm watching a movie.
[1:45:01] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[1:45:02] This is a really tough one.
[1:45:04] I mean I'm sure I have.
[1:45:05] But, you know, I just hate admitting that I make mistakes on the podcast.
[1:45:10] Oh, on the podcast.
[1:45:11] Not – no, in life I make – I admit it all the time.
[1:45:14] But on air I don't want – I don't want our listeners to think that a god like me can bleed, you know?
Jordan Morris
[1:45:19] Yeah, yeah, of course.
[1:45:20] I played through a couple of those Gears of War games without knowing that you could quick reload your gun.
[1:45:26] That's crazy.
[1:45:26] Yeah, I don't know if you guys ever played those.
[1:45:28] There's a quick reload mechanic that makes the fighting a lot quicker.
[1:45:31] But I beat a couple of those and I'm like, oh, yeah, you can quick reload your gun.
[1:45:35] Anyway, I'm sure this was fascinating and I'm glad I said it.
Dan McCoy
[1:45:38] It's like that Kurt Vonnegut story about, you know, having like boots, weighted boots.
[1:45:44] What's that one?
Stuart Wellington
[1:45:44] Yeah, Harrison Bergeron.
Dan McCoy
[1:45:46] Yeah, yeah.
[1:45:46] You're like Harrison Bergeron.
[1:45:47] And now you're like – you can jump so high in those games because you –
Stuart Wellington
[1:45:51] I feel like I've told this story on the podcast before but I'm going to tell it again, Jordan.
[1:45:54] When I was playing through Dark Souls Remastered on my Switch, I got to the last – it wasn't until I got to the final boss of the game that I realized you could parry and then I beat him super fast.
[1:46:04] Oh, that's funny.
[1:46:05] That was also the fight where because it was on the Switch, I was playing it, you know, on the go.
[1:46:10] And I just boarded a plane and Char and I sat down.
[1:46:15] And I'm like, oh, let me just push through this fog wall here, huh?
[1:46:19] Oh, boss music.
[1:46:20] Oh, there's the boss.
[1:46:21] And then Charlene slaps me on the arm and I look up at her.
[1:46:24] I'm like, what?
[1:46:25] And she was just offering me a donut.
[1:46:28] And I looked down.
[1:46:28] I'm already dead.
[1:46:30] And I'm like – I put the game down.
[1:46:32] I'm like, Charlene, I'm sorry that I freaked out.
[1:46:34] That was all on me.
[1:46:36] Right.
[1:46:36] I just passed the fog wall.
Jordan Morris
[1:46:40] A 10,000-person chorus just started screaming at me.
Elliott Kalan
[1:46:47] You know when I'm in game mode, I cannot be interrupted or else I'm not – I'm liable to do anything.
Stuart Wellington
[1:46:53] Game mode is when I put on those wraparound shades and I sit in any cab of my truck to play a game.
Dan McCoy
[1:47:01] This next letter is one that you guys, Elliot and Stuart, have already seen.
[1:47:08] Normally, you know, I get these through the Flophouse mailbox and I am the one who like vets them and puts them together.
[1:47:15] And the rest of the gang hasn't seen the full letter, although they get the questions.
[1:47:19] But this case, you've seen it.
[1:47:21] But it's so good.
[1:47:23] Got to put it out there in the world for our listeners and for Jordan.
[1:47:27] Thank you.
[1:47:27] This is from our pal Parker Bennett, who was a writer on the Super Mario Brothers movie.
[1:47:34] And what was the other one that he also –
[1:47:36] Mystery Date.
[1:47:38] So he says –
[1:47:40] When you say Super Mario Brothers movie, the 90s?
[1:47:43] The original.
[1:47:44] The original, okay.
[1:47:44] He says, impossible as it may seem.
[1:47:47] I have yet another zealot-like intersection with a bad movie featured on the Flophouse.
[1:47:52] Fortunately, I had nothing to do with writing The Master of Disguise.
[1:47:56] But in 2000 or so, I had pivoted from writing bad movies like Super Mario Brothers to creating websites for them.
[1:48:02] My partner and I called our company Mogulsoft.
[1:48:05] And I was a creative head designing interactive flash extravaganzas, fashionable in the day.
[1:48:11] It even got a B- from Entertainment Weekly.
[1:48:14] Yes, they once reviewed websites.
[1:48:16] The Master of Disguise was the last movie website I did.
[1:48:21] Others included But I'm a Cheerleader, Shadow of the Vampire, and K-Pax.
Stuart Wellington
[1:48:25] Was there like a little flash game for Shadow of the Vampire where you're like running from the vampire?
Dan McCoy
[1:48:30] I'll ask the email.
[1:48:31] I wish.
[1:48:32] Answer is inconclusive.
[1:48:34] Around this time, studios wised up that people just wanted to watch the trailer and buy tickets, not solve puzzles, and play flash games.
[1:48:42] I moved on doing my part for the post-9-11 baby boom.
[1:48:45] Acts of creation adjacent to disaster seem to be my thing.
[1:48:49] You're a friend of the pod, Parker.
[1:48:51] And if you're being like, Master of Disguise, I don't remember that episode.
[1:48:56] We just got back from San Francisco Sketch Fest where we did a live show on Master of Disguise.
Elliott Kalan
[1:49:01] Dan left his heart there.
[1:49:03] He's been making left-heart in San Francisco jokes nonstop.
Dan McCoy
[1:49:07] That'll be in the feed at some point, probably when we have scheduling difficulties and need something to save us.
[1:49:17] But look forward to that.
[1:49:18] It was a fun show.
Stuart Wellington
[1:49:20] Yeah, it was.
[1:49:21] And a great movie.
[1:49:22] Two thumbs up.
[1:49:23] No, I don't think that was our conclusion.
[1:49:25] I don't believe so.
[1:49:26] Okay, I said that wrong.
[1:49:27] It was a short movie.
[1:49:28] Two thumbs down.
Dan McCoy
[1:49:30] Okay, yeah.
[1:49:31] Fair enough.
[1:49:32] Anything else to be said about Master of Disguise or websites?
[1:49:36] Jordan, you have a connection to Master of Disguise.
[1:49:38] Boy, not a one.
[1:49:40] I know.
[1:49:41] I'm as surprised as you are.
[1:49:44] Well, in that case, let's move on to recommendations of films that, you know, might be a better way to spend your time
[1:49:54] than watching direct-to-streaming Travolta action movies.
[1:50:02] And I'm going to recommend The Return to Gross Horror Movies of Sam Raimi.
[1:50:10] Oh, you want some of them?
[1:50:11] I saw Send Help.
[1:50:13] Ooh, I'm going tonight.
[1:50:13] What did you think?
[1:50:15] It's a lot of fun.
[1:50:17] I mean, you know, it's not like the absolute highest heights of Sam Raimi, but it is, you know, him back in his wheelhouse.
Elliott Kalan
[1:50:23] It was about buildings.
[1:50:24] It was like flying through the tops of buildings.
[1:50:27] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:50:28] He's clearly having a blast just like being gross again.
[1:50:32] Cool.
[1:50:32] There's like scenes where there's like a lot more blood and goo than you're going to expect.
Jordan Morris
[1:50:37] I've got tickets to see it in 4D, so I'm going to be shaking around.
[1:50:40] Yeah.
[1:50:40] There's actual blood in your face.
[1:50:43] Whoa.
[1:50:43] It's like a guar show.
[1:50:45] Yeah.
[1:50:45] Yeah.
[1:50:45] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:50:46] The audience was reacting just as you want them to, like with like, ah!
[1:50:52] Noises, but laughing a lot.
[1:50:53] Hell yeah.
[1:50:54] You know, I love Rachel McAdams basically in anything.
[1:50:58] The other guy who I don't know as well is also really good.
[1:51:01] The trailer makes it seem like a much more straightforward movie, I think, too, than it is.
[1:51:07] I think it's interesting some of the character twists and turns that happen.
[1:51:12] Just a fun movie.
[1:51:14] If you like original movies, if you like Sam Raimi, like I would encourage people to like vote with their dollar and actually see it.
[1:51:22] Yeah, I want to see it.
Stuart Wellington
[1:51:23] I am going to recommend a movie I saw a little while ago, but I haven't had a chance to recommend here on the show.
[1:51:29] It is a movie called Reflection in a Dead Diamond.
[1:51:33] It is a kind of, it's a like giallo-esque spy movie-esque movie-esque movie that kind of, that is like all style.
[1:51:45] It is so much style and yet it at least somewhat holds together as a movie about an aging secret agent who is retired.
[1:51:55] Finally puts the age in agent.
[1:51:56] Exactly.
[1:51:58] And he is kind of reflecting on his life and he feels like kind of the sins of his past are coming back to haunt him along with some of his former foes.
[1:52:11] And this is made by the filmmakers who made The Strange Color of Your Body's Tears and Let the Corpses Tan.
[1:52:18] So, you know, they know how to name a movie good.
[1:52:22] Those are good names.
[1:52:23] And I found to be just, again, as I said, like it's a movie, I'm used to movies being like super stylish and kind of gross and weird, but not actually making much sense.
[1:52:33] But this one actually makes at least some sense.
[1:52:35] And I think it's, I think it's really fun.
[1:52:37] I think.
Dan McCoy
[1:52:38] I mean, I guess that that's true.
[1:52:39] I guess I see what you're saying, but also like I'm listening to this thinking like Stuart's making this movie sound a lot more like straightforward and comprehensible than it is too.
[1:52:48] Yeah.
[1:52:48] Because it is also sort of like, I don't know, like if you had a dream after watching Danger Diabolic or something.
Stuart Wellington
[1:52:54] Yeah.
[1:52:55] Yeah.
[1:52:55] I think that's fair.
[1:52:56] Like it's, yeah.
[1:52:57] And I feel like it's got like elements of like Venture Brothers and the things Venture Brothers was aping.
[1:53:03] Like I think it's great.
[1:53:04] It's weird and gross and awesome.
[1:53:07] Oh, and before, and in general, I won't name out a specific movie, but go watch Catherine O'Hara movies.
[1:53:13] R.I.P.
[1:53:13] Yeah, absolutely.
[1:53:15] No one's funnier.
[1:53:15] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[1:53:16] Yeah.
[1:53:16] She's, she's the, that was, we're recording this the day after the news broke that Catherine O'Hara died.
[1:53:21] And I was, I'm sure it hit you guys very hard.
[1:53:23] It hit me very hard.
[1:53:24] Yeah.
[1:53:24] I was, I was really hoping to meet or work with her someday.
[1:53:28] She's just amazing.
[1:53:29] And so I was very sad about that.
[1:53:30] That being said, I am also wasn't planning to recommend a Catherine O'Hara movie today.
[1:53:36] Maybe I should.
[1:53:38] Well, let's see Waiting for Guffman.
[1:53:39] Then I'll also recommend another movie.
[1:53:41] Also, I, this is, I recently finally got to watch a movie I've been wanting to see for years.
[1:53:45] It's a Polish movie from 1965.
[1:53:48] It's called the Saragossa manuscript.
[1:53:50] And it is a movie about storytelling in a way in that it is one of these movies where a character starts telling a story.
[1:53:58] And then in that story, another character starts telling a story.
[1:54:01] And we follow that story.
[1:54:01] And then in that story, another character starts telling a story.
[1:54:04] And it's this common, it's this, this basically mainly about a, a soldier who is wandering through Spain in the, in the, I think, 18th century.
[1:54:17] And has a series of, or might be earlier, and is having a series of strange encounters.
[1:54:23] Some of them are kind of surreal and supernatural.
[1:54:26] Some of them are just kind of like bawdy.
[1:54:28] But there's a lot of fun stuff in it.
[1:54:30] And over, for a movie that is three hours of characters interrupting plot lines to tell other stories and have other plots come in.
[1:54:38] It's, when things start kind of like looping together in different ways, it's really fun and satisfying.
[1:54:45] So if you want to see a movie that is kind of like twisty storytelling where it's less about where the story is going to than about where is, what's the turn it's going to make next.
[1:54:53] And where there's funny stuff, there's spooky stuff, and there's a lot of women in low-cut dresses, much, many more than I expected to see in the movie when I first started watching it.
[1:55:03] Then I would recommend the Saragossa manuscript.
[1:55:06] Jordan, have you seen anything?
[1:55:08] That you would recommend?
Jordan Morris
[1:55:08] Yes.
[1:55:09] I will admit I am a few episodes behind on the Flophouse.
[1:55:12] I'm usually all caught up.
[1:55:14] I can't imagine y'all haven't talked about the old Bone Temple.
[1:55:20] But if you-
Dan McCoy
[1:55:21] You gotta go down to the old Bone Temple.
[1:55:23] I think you recommended it, didn't you, sir?
[1:55:24] I don't think I had a chance.
[1:55:25] Or maybe I did.
[1:55:26] I don't know.
Stuart Wellington
[1:55:27] I don't think we've recorded an episode.
Dan McCoy
[1:55:28] Oh.
[1:55:29] Well, then please recommend it on behalf of all of us.
[1:55:31] Please recommend the greatest movie.
Jordan Morris
[1:55:33] 28 years later.
[1:55:34] To go on down to the old Bone Temple.
[1:55:36] Later, Bone Temple.
[1:55:38] It fucking rules.
[1:55:40] It's so, it's not only great.
[1:55:42] It's like, I don't know.
[1:55:44] I think it's weirdly an all-timer for me.
[1:55:46] I loved it.
[1:55:48] Yeah.
[1:55:48] It's like, you know, I could see, you know, seeing it out there and going like, oh, they
[1:55:53] kind of cranked out a 28 sequel kind of close to the other one.
[1:55:57] This is, it's its own thing.
[1:56:00] And it just rips.
[1:56:01] It's so surprising.
[1:56:03] It's so weird and funny.
[1:56:04] The acting is wonderful.
[1:56:06] It includes a dance scene that is maybe one of the greatest things ever to appear on film.
[1:56:14] Yeah.
[1:56:14] And it's a great theater movie.
[1:56:15] I feel like it is one that, you know, maybe people kind of slept on a little bit.
[1:56:19] It was a, I don't know, maybe a little bit of an underperformer.
[1:56:21] And I like, I look at the, like the, you know, area of film, two online film people who, you
[1:56:30] know, gush about your weapons and your sinners, which are two great movies.
[1:56:34] Where are you guys on Bone Temple?
[1:56:36] It's so good.
[1:56:37] I really, really loved it.
[1:56:39] I think if you're, definitely the flop freaks will love this movie.
[1:56:42] And yeah, if you still have a chance to see it in a theater, do it, do it, do it.
Dan McCoy
[1:56:45] I saw it sitting next to Stuart.
[1:56:48] Yeah.
[1:56:49] And there's a scene that you talk about.
[1:56:53] You talk about the dance scene.
[1:56:54] I don't want to like spoil it too much for anyone who hasn't seen it.
[1:56:57] But like being next to Stuart.
[1:56:58] I have not gotten to see it yet.
[1:56:59] So yeah, don't spoil it.
[1:57:00] My horror metal tracksuit wearing friend.
[1:57:05] Yeah.
[1:57:06] I'm like, Stuart, this scene, like, this is like your heart made a wish that you didn't
Stuart Wellington
[1:57:12] even know existed.
[1:57:13] And it was granted.
[1:57:15] Yeah.
[1:57:15] There's so many things about that movie that feel like it's speaking directly
[1:57:19] to me.
[1:57:19] And I feel like, at least from what I've heard, this is the case with a lot, a number
[1:57:23] of people out there that this is a movie that manages to balance two wildly differing tones
[1:57:28] of like, very brutal, very cruel.
[1:57:32] Yeah.
[1:57:32] But at the same time, there's a tenderness and a compassion that you don't often, you
[1:57:37] don't see in movies that often, let alone like a fucking post-apocalyptic horror movie.
[1:57:42] Ray Fiennes is like delivering some of the best material in an already incredible career.
Jordan Morris
[1:57:48] Yeah.
[1:57:48] Ray Fiennes.
[1:57:50] Yeah.
[1:57:51] I mean, give that guy an Oscar for this, but also give the giant zombie an Oscar for
[1:57:55] this.
[1:57:56] That guy's great.
[1:57:57] There's a guy who we see a little bit in the first 28 years later.
[1:58:02] Samson.
[1:58:02] Samson.
[1:58:03] Yes.
[1:58:04] He's great.
[1:58:05] Huge dick.
[1:58:06] Great.
Dan McCoy
[1:58:07] Is Jack O'Connell the name of the other, the actor of the, he's so good in it too.
[1:58:14] And there's like a scene between him and Ray Fiennes that is so funny and tense and like
[1:58:24] tender in its weird way.
[1:58:26] It's just an amazing scene.
Stuart Wellington
[1:58:28] And the social media push of the movie, a lot of the, you know, there's been some Jack
[1:58:33] O'Connell because he got, you know, he was great in Sinners as well as a similarly like
[1:58:37] charming villain.
[1:58:39] The, but there's been a lot of the relationship between Ray Fiennes and the actor who plays
[1:58:45] Samson.
[1:58:45] And there's a lot of them talking about the prosthetics and things like that, but it
[1:58:49] is like their equivalent of every other fucking movie trying to make me believe that the two
[1:58:54] leads of the movie are in love with each other.
[1:58:56] Like, I don't know if you guys are tired of this.
[1:58:59] Every fucking Wuthering Heights ad is like, you know what?
[1:59:02] They actually might be in love.
[1:59:03] I'm like, I don't think so.
[1:59:04] She's got like a kid.
[1:59:05] The house made to get a lot of Sidney Sweeney and Amanda Seyfried blinking longly at each
[1:59:11] other.
[1:59:12] Yeah.
[1:59:12] Yeah.
[1:59:12] I mean, but that's like, I feel like that's the modern element of like a movie promotion
[1:59:17] is like, how can we make people think that the, the actual, like we love celebrity culture
[1:59:22] so much.
[1:59:23] Right.
[1:59:23] Let's get the real people involved.
[1:59:25] And you already burned me with Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson internet.
Elliott Kalan
[1:59:29] Lied to me.
[1:59:31] We're not that far away from when the ad campaign for a movie will be like, did Tom Cruise really
[1:59:37] die making this stunt?
[1:59:39] We haven't seen him in a long time.
[1:59:40] We haven't seen him since the movie came out.
[1:59:42] Come see the movie.
[1:59:43] See if he really died.
Stuart Wellington
[1:59:43] I already see the YouTube thumbnail of that clip.
Dan McCoy
[1:59:46] There was a, I was writing a script that actually I abandoned in favor of like, I think a better
[1:59:51] idea.
[1:59:52] Thank you, Elliot, for weighing in.
[1:59:54] But like one of the things I had in there was like, that I did like as an idea was like
[2:00:00] two celebrities who were mad at each other, you know, like having to deal with each other
[2:00:06] in close proximity, but they're mad at each other not because of a breakup, but because
[2:00:10] one of them like handled their fake relationship in a way they didn't like.
[2:00:16] Like the studio encouraged fake relationships.
[2:00:19] They had like a fake breakup that was causing them like a strife.
Stuart Wellington
[2:00:23] That's a solid rom-com premise.
[2:00:25] I might reuse that somewhere.
[2:00:27] Don't take it.
[2:00:27] Yeah.
Jordan Morris
[2:00:28] Dan McCoy.
[2:00:28] TM, TM.
[2:00:29] That's like.
[2:00:30] Yeah, that means the McCoy.
[2:00:31] Yeah, Dan's mailing it to himself right now.
Stuart Wellington
[2:00:34] Yeah.
[2:00:37] Oh man, that was a treat.
[2:00:39] Thank you for giving me a space to talk about 28 years later.
[2:00:41] Oh good.
[2:00:41] Yeah.
[2:00:41] I only assumed you guys a bit.
Jordan Morris
[2:00:43] It's been nonstop Bone Temple talk for the past couple episodes, but yeah, I'm glad I
[2:00:47] could recommend it.
[2:00:47] I mean, that was the greatest.
[2:00:48] It's a very flop house movie.
Elliott Kalan
[2:00:50] I think they made the mistake of taking that movie out too soon after the last 28 years
[2:00:54] later movie.
[2:00:55] Like they should have waited another year, I think.
[2:00:57] Yeah, maybe.
[2:00:57] Yeah.
[2:00:58] I mean, you're right.
[2:00:58] Maybe people just thought it was a weird fashion or something.
Stuart Wellington
[2:00:59] And I mean, I feel like I, as much as I like Danny Boyle, I feel like I connect
[2:01:05] more with the Nia DeCosta's directorial style.
[2:01:08] Man, it's so good.
Jordan Morris
[2:01:10] It's great.
[2:01:10] It's such a good movie.
[2:01:11] Anyway.
[2:01:13] I gotta see it.
Dan McCoy
[2:01:14] Bone Temple.
[2:01:14] Well, this has been a delight as evidenced by how little we were able to stay on topic
[2:01:21] for time.
[2:01:23] All right.
Elliott Kalan
[2:01:23] That's a backhanded compliment if ever there was one.
Dan McCoy
[2:01:25] No, no, no.
[2:01:26] I think that that's a good sign of having fun.
[2:01:30] But Jordan, why don't you take a moment?
[2:01:33] What are you grinning about?
Stuart Wellington
[2:01:34] That's gonna be our next fucking t-shirt slogan.
[2:01:37] A good sign of having fun.
[2:01:40] And it's just like a picture of a runtime or something.
Jordan Morris
[2:01:43] Yeah.
[2:01:44] Jordan, please promote your stuff.
[2:01:46] Oh, sure.
[2:01:47] I would love to.
[2:01:48] Hey, I know that this is a podcast listenership that's got a pull list.
[2:01:52] So if you're one of those folks, consider adding the upcoming Marvel Comics release, Predator
[2:02:00] Bloodshed.
[2:02:01] It is a Predator miniseries written by me, art by Roland Boshi and Rory Coleman.
[2:02:07] The Predator.
[2:02:07] You know this guy.
[2:02:09] Everybody's favorite alien.
[2:02:10] Hear me out.
[2:02:12] He's got brains.
Elliott Kalan
[2:02:13] He's cool.
[2:02:14] Yeah.
[2:02:15] He's got a crab face.
[2:02:16] Jordan, I want to support your project.
[2:02:18] I cannot stand by and say that the Predator is my favorite alien.
[2:02:21] Who would it be?
[2:02:22] E.T.
[2:02:23] Yeah, who would it be better than the Predator alien?
Dan McCoy
[2:02:25] The Xenomorph.
Elliott Kalan
[2:02:26] Who would it be better than the Predator?
[2:02:26] How about the alien?
[2:02:27] How about the alien, Jordan?
Dan McCoy
[2:02:28] Do you like the Xenomorph?
[2:02:31] Like, you want to hang out with the Xenomorph?
Stuart Wellington
[2:02:32] Yeah, I do want to hang out with them.
[2:02:33] We covered this on a past mini, by the way.
[2:02:34] We've talked about it.
[2:02:35] We've talked about it.
Elliott Kalan
[2:02:35] Can you get a beer with the Xenomorph?
[2:02:37] Well, most people-
[2:02:38] We wrote a sex song about the Xenomorph.
Jordan Morris
[2:02:41] That's true.
[2:02:41] We did.
[2:02:42] Most right-thinking people's favorite alien, the Predator.
[2:02:46] Okay.
[2:02:46] In this in-continuity miniseries, the Predator gets loose at an underground fighting tournament,
[2:02:53] much like the kind you would see in Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter, but it's a group
[2:02:57] of martial artists versus the Predator.
[2:03:00] Yes.
[2:03:01] When I'm pitching things, I just think to myself, what would Stuart think is awesome?
Stuart Wellington
[2:03:07] And then I pitch that.
[2:03:09] I'm holding my Mortal Kombat Annihilation DVD and my Predator DVD, and I just kind of mush
[2:03:15] them together.
[2:03:16] That's this, basically.
Jordan Morris
[2:03:18] Yes, it starts on February 25th.
[2:03:21] The first issue comes out.
[2:03:22] It's looking really gorgeous.
[2:03:24] Both Roland and Rory do awesome art.
[2:03:26] The Predator looks cool.
[2:03:27] It's gory.
[2:03:28] It's fun.
[2:03:28] Maybe you got a little dark comedy in there.
[2:03:30] I think folks are really going to dig it.
[2:03:32] So yeah, February 25th, wherever you get your comics, or if you want signed by me copies,
[2:03:38] you go to bit.ly slash cool fight.
[2:03:41] Bit.ly slash cool fight.
[2:03:44] And you can get them from a local comic book store here in LA called Collectors Paradise.
[2:03:48] They ship anywhere.
[2:03:50] So if you're not sure if you can get it in your zone, bit.ly slash cool fight.
[2:03:54] You get them in the mail anywhere you are.
[2:03:57] And hey, I also do some podcasts on the Maximum Fun Network.
[2:04:01] Jordan, Jesse, Go, the comedy chat show, Free With Ads, the movie chat show.
[2:04:05] The Floppers have been on both of these shows.
[2:04:09] Dan and Stu were on Free With Ads not too long ago, and we talked about The Apartment.
Stuart Wellington
[2:04:14] So if you want to hear Flophouse hosts talk about a good movie.
[2:04:17] A really good movie, yeah.
Jordan Morris
[2:04:18] A really good movie.
[2:04:20] And yeah, it's been on Jordan, Jesse, Go a bunch of times, so check it out.
[2:04:24] I don't want to overplug, but I think this is special for the Flophouse audience.
[2:04:28] If there's any Southern California floppers out there, I am hosting a Predator double feature
[2:04:34] at the Frida Cinema in Santa Ana.
[2:04:38] That is February 26th at 7 p.m.
[2:04:40] We're showing the original Predator and Predator Badlands, and I'll be there hosting and giving
[2:04:45] out comics and signing comics.
[2:04:47] One true favorite.
[2:04:47] So please come out to that if you're in the Southern California area.
[2:04:51] You get those tickets at thefridacinema.org.
[2:04:54] Okay.
[2:04:55] Done plugging.
[2:04:56] Great.
[2:04:57] Done plugging.
[2:04:58] Thank you.
[2:04:58] A lot of exciting stuff for Jordan Morris fans and Predator fans.
[2:05:01] Yes.
[2:05:02] The Venn diagram overlaps quite a bit.
[2:05:03] Yeah, I think so.
[2:05:04] People like me and Jacked Aliens.
Dan McCoy
[2:05:07] Well, now it's time for us to plug up our mouths for this episode.
Elliott Kalan
[2:05:14] Dan, don't use that plug to plug your mouth.
[2:05:16] You don't know where it's been.
Dan McCoy
[2:05:17] Before that happens, a quick exhortation to go over to MaximumFun.org.
[2:05:24] Listen to some of the other great podcasts on the network, including those starring our guest
[2:05:30] host, Jordan.
[2:05:33] Thank you to Alex Smith, our producer.
[2:05:35] He goes for the name Howell Doughty.
[2:05:37] You can listen to his music.
[2:05:38] You can see his Twitch streams.
[2:05:39] He's got a podcast.
[2:05:40] It's very funny.
[2:05:42] Check his work out.
[2:05:43] For the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.
[2:05:45] I've been Stuart Wellington.
Jordan Morris
[2:05:47] I've been Elliot Kalin.
[2:05:48] Hey, I'm Jordan Morris, and I was also on the show.
[2:05:54] It's a little catchphrase.
[2:05:55] That's me, the guy who was on the show.
[2:05:59] See ya.
[2:06:03] Eat Me in St. Louis.
[2:06:09] You do that for kids?
[2:06:11] Somebody throw somebody out the window?
Elliott Kalan
[2:06:13] That's why we have children's entertainer Jack Black here to help us connect with the kids.
[2:06:19] A new movie, Meet Me in 6-7.
[2:06:21] Yeah.
[2:06:22] Meet Me in 6-7.
[2:06:25] Fam.
Stuart Wellington
[2:06:25] Oh, man.
[2:06:28] That's going to be bussing for real.
[2:06:30] No cap.
[2:06:31] Okay.
[2:06:33] Maximum Fun.
[2:06:35] A worker-owned network.
[2:06:36] Of artist-owned shows.
[2:06:38] Supported.
[2:06:39] Directly.
[2:06:40] By you.

In this episode

Speakers
Elliott Kalan 42mDan McCoy 37mJordan Morris 21mStuart Wellington 19m

Description

Yes, we never heard of it either. But trust us when we say that High Rollers (sequel to the equally nonexistent movie Cash Out) makes for a helluva S-tier Flop House episode, especially when it features longtime friend of the show Jordan Morris as our guest. Is Travolta the new Nic Cage? Well, if you're watching Face/Off, yes, definitely. But in terms of FH movie greatness? Yeah, maybe!

Stay updated on all things Flop House, plus a little extra, with our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets!

Download the MP3 directly, HERE

Paste https://feeds.simplecast.com/EOAFriME into iTunes (or your favorite podcatching software) to have new episodes of The Flop House delivered to you directly, as they’re released.

Wikipedia page for High Rollers

Recommended in this episode:

Dan: Send Help (2026)

Stu: Reflection in a Dead Diamond (2025)

Elliott: The Saragossa Manuscript (1965)

Jordan Morris: 28 Years Later: Bone Temple (2026)

Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinflop