FH Mini 146 – Best of the Best (Pictures)

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] Live from the Flophouse Pavilion in downtown Hollywood, California, and Brooklyn, it's the first annual Best Best Picture Awards, a celebration of the objectively best movies in the history of cinema, according to the Academy Awards voters and nobody else.

[0:24] I'm your host, Elliot Kalin, author of Joke Farming, How to Write Comedy and Other Nonsense, and joining me today are my gala co-hosts...

Stuart Wellington

[0:32] Dan McCoy!

[0:33] And Stuart Wellington from television.

Elliott Kalan

[0:37] Which television, Stuart?

[0:39] Anyone you watch Stuart Wellington on.

[0:42] Or is the band television? Is that where you came from?

[0:44] Yep. Marky Moon. That's my dad.

[0:47] Your dad is Marky Moon?

[0:49] Yeah, Marky Moon is friends with Marky Mark. That's how they have the same nickname, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[0:53] They don't agree on politics.

Elliott Kalan

[0:56] No, Marky Moon, Marky Mark, and Biz Marky all hang out in the Marky Club at the Marky Market.

[1:02] Well, everybody...

Dan McCoy

[1:02] We never know what these minis are going to be, and I was just very excited with the blast of energy we just got.

[1:09] My pleasure.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10] Well, it's an old Flophouse Mini, but as listeners may know, the Academy Award nominees were announced not too long ago,

[1:17] and the Academy Awards are coming up sooner than you can imagine it.

[1:19] And so, in this Flophouse Mini, we're going to talk about the best pictures.

[1:24] That's right.

[1:25] Every year, Hollywood's shiniest and sunniest and most famousest get together to decide what is the greatest work of cinematic art that was created that kind of previous year.

[1:37] And, of course, this being a movie podcast where usually we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it,

[1:42] I thought instead of talking about bad movies, let's talk about the best movies, the best pictures there are.

[1:48] So, I wanted to start with a couple of games for you guys.

[1:52] And by start, I mean that's the whole thing.

[1:54] We love games.

Stuart Wellington

[1:56] We're a couple of Game Boys.

[1:58] Pick us up and push our buttons.

Elliott Kalan

[2:00] This should be a song, Stuart.

[2:02] This should be like an early 90s kind of like...

[2:04] I'm a Game Boy.

[2:06] Put a cartridge in me.

[2:09] It's like a...

[2:11] Why can't I remember the name of that?

[2:13] The German band.

[2:14] Kraftwerk.

[2:15] It's like if Kraftwerk had lasted a little bit longer, you know, with these songs.

Dan McCoy

[2:18] I'm a Game Boy.

[2:20] I'm kind of blurry.

[2:22] But you're going to have some fun.

Stuart Wellington

[2:24] Yeah.

[2:24] Very...

[2:25] And like a little bit like more the poppy Gary Neumann style.

[2:29] Yes, yes.

[2:29] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[2:30] In Game Boy.

[2:31] Doot.

[2:32] Doot.

[2:33] So anyway, we got off track pretty quick, but that's okay.

[2:36] We're talking about Best Picture winners.

[2:38] Best Picture movies.

[2:39] And so first, I wanted to go through the nominees for this year's Best Picture.

[2:43] We're going to play a game called Best Word Association.

[2:46] I want each of you to just give me one word, whatever comes to your mind, when I say the

[2:50] name of each of these Best Picture nominees.

[2:52] There's 10 of them.

Stuart Wellington

[2:53] I'm really interested to see how many Elliot has seen.

Elliott Kalan

[2:56] I want to know how many you guys have seen too.

[2:58] I've seen a surprising number of these actually.

[3:00] Of all of the nominees for Best Picture this year, I've actually seen

[3:03] one, two, three, four, five, six, seven of them.

[3:07] I've seen most of them.

[3:08] Of the ten?

[3:09] Of the ten.

[3:09] I've seen...

[3:10] Thank you, Dan.

[3:11] Wow, that's pretty good.

[3:11] I think that's probably about where I'm hovering.

[3:13] Trying to keep us relevant.

[3:14] Yeah.

[3:14] I still haven't gotten to see...

[3:15] I really want to see Sentimental Value, Secret Agent.

[3:18] I haven't seen this yet.

[3:19] My older son really wants to see F1, so I guess I'll watch that with him.

[3:21] But the other ones I have seen.

Stuart Wellington

[3:23] Elliot, you're a dad.

[3:24] You should love F1.

[3:26] I should already watch F1.

[3:27] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[3:27] So I mean, I'll say this.

[3:31] It stands for fun.

[3:32] F1 was nominated for Best Visual Effects, and having been the guest of Friend of the Flophouse,

[3:38] Todd Vaziri, took me as his guest to the Academy Awards Special Effects Bake Off presentation

[3:43] thing.

[3:44] I was like, the effects in F1 are amazing.

[3:46] What they did with Special Effects in that is astonishing.

[3:48] But you would not know it watching the movie.

[3:50] So here are the movies.

[3:51] I'm going to name them one by one.

[3:52] You just give me each one word that you associate with that movie or that it just makes you think

[3:56] of.

[3:56] And the first one is Sinners.

[3:59] Vampires.

Dan McCoy

[4:02] Guitar.

Elliott Kalan

[4:04] Okay.

[4:04] I mean, Vampire Guitar is a good name for a movie.

[4:08] Yeah.

[4:08] One battle after another.

[4:10] What's the one word it makes you think of?

Dan McCoy

[4:11] Beers.

[4:12] Oh, that's what I was going to say.

Elliott Kalan

[4:16] Okay.

[4:17] So beers for both of you?

[4:18] All right.

Dan McCoy

[4:18] Yeah, beers.

[4:19] Train Dreams.

[4:21] I'm going to say...

[4:22] Trees.

[4:22] Okay.

[4:23] I'll say Beautiful.

[4:24] I just watched it yesterday.

Elliott Kalan

[4:26] Marty Supreme.

[4:27] Ping Pong.

[4:28] Tense.

[4:29] Tense.

[4:30] Like you sleep in?

[4:31] Yeah, not like two tents.

Dan McCoy

[4:33] Well, that could go either way.

Elliott Kalan

[4:35] Yeah, yeah.

[4:36] But you mean tents like, oh, this is uncomfortable.

[4:38] Okay.

[4:39] I was thinking the old...

[4:39] Can I change mine?

Dan McCoy

[4:41] I'm a wigwam.

[4:42] I'm a teepee.

[4:42] The problem is you're too tense.

[4:44] Yeah.

[4:44] I'm going to say Bat Tub.

Elliott Kalan

[4:46] Bat Tub.

[4:47] Okay.

[4:47] Sounds good.

[4:48] Sentimental value.

Dan McCoy

[4:51] Irreversible.

[4:54] Nordic.

[4:54] Does that count?

Elliott Kalan

[4:56] Sure, sure.

[4:56] The secret agent.

[4:59] Handsome.

[5:00] Brazil.

[5:01] Okay.

[5:02] Hamnet.

Dan McCoy

[5:04] Boring.

[5:04] Sad.

Elliott Kalan

[5:06] F1.

Dan McCoy

[5:08] Vroom.

[5:10] Dad.

[5:12] Begonia.

[5:14] Bees.

[5:15] Yeah.

[5:15] I was going to say bugs.

Elliott Kalan

[5:17] Okay.

[5:17] And Frankenstein.

Dan McCoy

[5:19] Tall.

[5:22] CGI.

Elliott Kalan

[5:23] Okay.

[5:24] So, aside from Hamnet, I didn't really feel like I got the kind of results I was looking

[5:28] for here.

[5:29] But that makes me wonder.

[5:31] So, I want to see, before we get into other...

Dan McCoy

[5:32] Are we supposed to make snap judgments?

[5:33] I could do that.

Elliott Kalan

[5:34] No, no.

[5:34] We don't have to do...

[5:35] Well, before we get into it, I want to get your thoughts on that.

[5:37] How many of these did you guys see?

[5:38] How many of the Best Picture nominees this year did you see?

Dan McCoy

[5:39] You know what?

[5:40] I'm going to have to look at the list.

[5:43] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[5:43] Well, I'll mention them one by one.

[5:44] You tell me if you guys know.

[5:45] Sinners.

[5:46] Yes.

[5:47] One battle after another.

[5:48] Yes.

[5:49] Train Dreams.

[5:50] Yes.

[5:50] No.

[5:51] Marty Supreme.

[5:52] Yes.

[5:53] Sentimental Value.

[5:54] Yep.

[5:55] No.

[5:55] The Secret Agent.

Dan McCoy

[5:57] No.

[5:57] No, not yet.

[5:58] Hamnet.

[5:59] Not yet.

[6:00] I watched half of it and I was like, you know what?

[6:02] I don't want to watch this.

[6:02] Did you watch the ham half or the net half?

Elliott Kalan

[6:04] Because half the movie is about making ham and half is about catching fish in nets.

Dan McCoy

[6:07] It just like...

[6:08] It did not engage me to such a level that I'm like, I don't need to watch all of this.

[6:12] There's no law.

[6:13] I can stop now.

[6:13] You're right.

Elliott Kalan

[6:14] That was my experience with Eddington.

[6:15] So that's a .5.

[6:16] I was like, I don't know.

[6:16] That's a .5 for me.

[6:17] Yeah.

[6:18] What about F1?

Dan McCoy

[6:20] No.

[6:20] Yep.

Elliott Kalan

[6:20] It's a movie based on a key on a keyboard.

[6:23] What about Bagonia?

[6:25] No, not yet.

[6:26] What about Frankenstein?

[6:27] Yeah.

[6:27] Yes.

[6:28] Okay.

[6:28] Well, I want to say...

[6:29] Wow.

[6:29] Ellie's seen more than me.

[6:31] That's crazy this year.

[6:32] I've seen five and a half.

[6:33] Only six.

[6:33] I really took advantage of the...

[6:35] I still have to take more advantage of the Writers Guild screener app that has.

[6:40] Yes.

[6:40] That's great.

Dan McCoy

[6:41] You know, I was...

[6:42] At first, I was like, you know, a little bit annoyed at the switchover to not sending DVDs anymore.

[6:49] It's so much better without them.

[6:51] Yeah.

[6:51] But now that, like, they've put all of the for-your-consideration movies on one app rather than, like, having, like, a bunch of links all over the place, I'm like, yes, please.

[7:00] I love this.

Elliott Kalan

[7:01] Yeah.

[7:01] It's much better.

[7:02] So, thank you, whoever's idea that was.

[7:04] Are you...

[7:05] Were there any movies you were surprised by getting nominated for Best Picture this year?

[7:08] I want to know, are there any you're surprised by?

[7:10] Are there any you hope win?

[7:11] Are there any you really hope don't win?

[7:13] Are there any movies you wish were nominated?

Dan McCoy

[7:15] I was definitely surprised by F1.

[7:17] I didn't feel like that was even in the conversation.

[7:20] Uh-huh.

[7:21] Um, and I'm surprised by...

Elliott Kalan

[7:23] I mean, the conversation does not have the movie F1 in it.

[7:25] There's no part where Harry Cole is watching TV and the movie F1 comes.

[7:28] The movie wouldn't be made for another 40, 50 years.

[7:30] He would really take his mind off of the web of lies that he's enmeshed in.

[7:36] I was also surprised, though, by Frankenstein.

Dan McCoy

[7:38] Frankenstein's the one I would say.

[7:39] Like, before it came out, like, people, it just seemed like, ooh, Guillermo del Toro's getting to make his dream project.

[7:46] And then, like, the word on it was so, like, mixed negative.

[7:50] And, like, I watched it.

[7:52] I'm like, okay, this is fine.

[7:54] Like, I didn't hamnet it.

[7:56] I didn't stop in the middle, but I...

Stuart Wellington

[7:58] It did take me four viewings to watch the whole thing.

[8:03] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[8:04] I was also a little surprised by that one.

[8:06] I mean, I liked Frankenstein, but, yeah, it didn't feel...

[8:08] I was like, this is fine.

[8:09] Yeah, this is good.

[8:10] Yeah.

[8:11] I'm not mad at it.

[8:12] I was surprised that Bagonia was nominated, if only because it's such an off-putting movie.

[8:17] But I feel like it...

[8:18] It was kind of a...

[8:20] It was a recommendation for me in an earlier episode, but I feel like it does not quite reach the height of, like, this is off-putting in a way that I find meaningful.

[8:28] That it's, like, affecting me, you know, completely.

Stuart Wellington

[8:29] Is it more digestible than, like, what was the last one you did?

[8:35] Kinds of Kindness.

[8:36] I never saw Kinds of Kindness.

[8:37] I feel like part of it was, like, coasting on the just general love of Yorgos and Emma Stone working together.

Elliott Kalan

[8:43] I think that's part of it.

[8:44] I certainly...

[8:45] I liked Bagonia more than Poor Things, which I didn't particularly like.

[8:49] But...

[8:51] And I have to say, like, are there...

[8:53] So, are there any that you guys hope wins?

[8:54] What's your pick that you would like to have win?

Stuart Wellington

[8:57] I mean, I would say this isn't necessarily a hope, but...

[9:01] I mean, I would love to see Sinners win.

[9:04] I feel like there's a chance that, like, Sinners and One Battle After Another somehow are going to split the vote.

[9:11] And then something like Sentimental Value, a movie about making movies, might win.

[9:16] Which, I love Sentimental Value, so I wouldn't be mad at it.

Dan McCoy

[9:19] I would be very happy if either One Battle After Another or Sinners won.

[9:25] I also really, really loved Marty Supreme.

[9:27] But if we're, like, making choices here, like, I think that giving it to Kugler or Paul Thomas Anderson, like, is a more meaningful narrative.

[9:40] Like, you know, like, they've built up a career.

[9:43] And I think that the Safdies, like, still have plenty of chances.

[9:47] Or I guess it's just Josh for this one.

Elliott Kalan

[9:51] I would, I think, I'd be fine with Sinners winning.

[9:55] I liked it a lot.

[9:55] I'd be fine with One Battle After Another.

[9:56] I'd be fine if Train Dreams won.

[9:58] I thought, I really loved Train Dreams.

[9:59] I've heard good things.

[10:00] I thought it was a beautiful movie.

[10:02] Yeah, I'm sure I'd like it.

[10:03] It does not fit a, it does not fit a exciting political narrative because it is about a white guy living through old, you know, the early 20th century.

[10:12] But I think it is a really gorgeous, it, Train Dreams did for me what Hamnet did not do for me, which was to create this kind of beautiful feeling of kind of gossamer emotion and human life.

[10:23] Whereas Hamnet, I was looking for that from it.

[10:25] I didn't quite get it.

Dan McCoy

[10:26] It was, that one was absolutely gorgeous.

[10:28] And then, like, you know, I was affected by it, but not, like, super affected until, like, the very end of Train Dreams where I'm, like, explosively crying all of a sudden.

[10:39] You were ejaculating tears out of your eyes.

Elliott Kalan

[10:41] What happened to the train?

[10:42] The train had such dreams.

[10:44] Dan was actually watching Thomas the Tank Engine.

Dan McCoy

[10:47] Well, unsurprisingly, movies where, like, maybe an emotionally constricted man has some sort of big catharsis affects me.

Elliott Kalan

[10:57] And I find myself very, there is a, one of the big plot points is an out-of-control fire that destroys a home.

[11:03] And that, I mean, just because of the recent history of my local area, that really hit me very hard.

[11:09] But I think, I haven't seen, I really want to see Secret Agent and Sentimental Value.

[11:12] I haven't seen them yet, but I feel like.

Stuart Wellington

[11:13] I feel like you guys would both really like Sentimental Value.

[11:16] I know.

[11:17] I mean, I love his movies.

Elliott Kalan

[11:18] I think, I think, true is great.

[11:19] But, so, I really want to see it.

[11:20] But I feel like the cream of the.

Stuart Wellington

[11:22] I think this is the first one where he's, like, really touching on, like, being a father, which I think is interesting.

Elliott Kalan

[11:28] Well, that's what Frankenstein is all about, too.

[11:30] But I feel like the, those, that, that handful of movies is, like, the cream of the best pictures.

[11:33] They're the best pictures, the best pictures.

[11:35] But, okay, so we've talked about that.

[11:36] Were there any movies that you wanted to see nominated for Best Picture that year that did not get a Best Picture nomination?

Dan McCoy

[11:40] No other choice?

[11:41] Yeah, that's where I would go, too.

[11:42] I really love that.

[11:43] I feel like I've seen folks.

[11:47] Dismissing it as a lesser work by Park Chan-wook.

[11:50] And I think that's nice.

Elliott Kalan

[11:51] Like, yeah, it's too funny and good.

[11:53] But also, like, a lesser Park Chan-wook.

[11:54] It's a little bit like when the, when the Coen Brothers would do a movie like Big Lebowski.

[11:57] And people are like, they just did Fargo.

[11:59] Now they're doing a comedy.

[12:00] It's like, yeah.

[12:00] And they're doing one of the greatest comedies ever.

[12:02] Like, there's, them doing like a silly comedy is still head and shoulders above most other movies, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[12:08] And they're like, oh, this funny Hitchcockian thriller is also a condemnation of the unyielding appetite of capitalism for progress and artificial intelligence.

Dan McCoy

[12:18] And what, I mean, we didn't really get to talk about it that much.

[12:21] And I won't talk in detail since you said you haven't seen it.

[12:24] No, I haven't seen it yet.

[12:25] I really want to.

[12:25] But I feel like the movie that you think it's going to be, like, it's sort of in there.

[12:31] But it's also so different.

[12:33] Like, the film takes these unexpected turns all the way through it and takes, you know, gives everyone more complex stranger emotional arcs.

[12:44] Like, the, just like the incidents in it go off in ways you would not expect.

[12:51] It's just, yeah, it's terrific.

Elliott Kalan

[12:53] That's great.

[12:54] And are there any movies that you were glad were not nominated for Best Picture that you worried might be?

Dan McCoy

[13:01] I don't, like, I don't, I don't feel like there's some, like, big movie that I bear some sort of ill will against this year.

Elliott Kalan

[13:07] You weren't, like, you were, like, good, Wicked didn't, Wicked Part 2 didn't get a nomination.

Dan McCoy

[13:10] Oh, I mean, it certainly shouldn't have.

[13:12] Like, I liked the first half fairly well.

[13:15] But, like, man, they really fumbled that.

[13:18] Like, it shouldn't have been two movies.

Elliott Kalan

[13:19] It shouldn't have been.

[13:20] I thought the second half was fine.

[13:21] But, like, it should have been one movie, yeah.

[13:23] Well, guys, let's move on.

[13:25] I had one, it's time, one Best Picture trivia question for you.

[13:29] Sure.

[13:29] This is a question about Best Picture first before we get into the real meat of today's episode.

[13:35] People complain all the time that comic character movies, movies based on comics characters, they never get nominated for Best Picture.

[13:41] They don't get respected when they're so popular.

[13:43] Can you tell me what was the first comics character movie to be nominated for Best Picture?

[13:49] The first movie you've nominated for Best Picture based on a comics character.

Stuart Wellington

[13:52] This is easy.

[13:53] I got it.

[13:54] Dick Tracy.

[13:56] I don't think that was nominated for Best Picture.

Dan McCoy

[14:00] Let's see.

[14:01] Richie Rich.

[14:03] I don't think Superman was nominated.

[14:07] I'm wondering whether it's some, like, trick thing.

[14:11] Like, uh...

Elliott Kalan

[14:12] Could be.

[14:13] Could be a trick thing.

Dan McCoy

[14:15] Is it...

[14:15] Was it Annie?

[14:16] Is it Annie?

Elliott Kalan

[14:17] But you're thinking the right when you're thinking about comic strips.

[14:19] The first, obviously, people...

Stuart Wellington

[14:21] Rose is Rose!

Elliott Kalan

[14:23] Pearls before his mind.

[14:24] Friends passes!

[14:26] Shoe, the movie.

[14:28] Everyone, people know...

[14:29] I'm going to start a fucking shoe again.

[14:31] How Joker, Black Panther, that stuff was kind of nominated.

[14:33] First comics movie nominated for Best Picture was Skippy from 1931 based on the comic strip character Skippy.

[14:39] So they've been nominated in comics movies for decades and decades.

[14:42] What was Skippy like?

[14:43] What was Skippy like?

Dan McCoy

[14:44] Some peanut butter?

[14:45] Some like...

[14:46] What was the old Skippy?

Elliott Kalan

[14:47] So Skippy is about a little kid named Skippy.

[14:50] And...

[14:50] Uh-huh.

[14:50] That the comic strip is about.

[14:51] I'm with you so far.

[14:52] And Skippy Peanut Butter, actually, they used the name and the maker of the Skippy comic strip sued Skippy Peanut Butter.

[14:59] Because they were using it without his permission.

Dan McCoy

[15:02] What about the comic strip Jif?

[15:03] How did that go?

Stuart Wellington

[15:05] And in exchange, the creator of the Skippy comic strip got unlimited peanut butter for life.

[15:11] Oh.

[15:12] That was the settlement.

[15:12] That was the peanut butter solution.

Elliott Kalan

[15:13] And only...

[15:15] And that was not the last...

[15:17] Big brand to be named after a character from a Best Picture winning or nominated movie.

[15:23] Because, as I was explaining to my friend Tom just this past weekend in San Francisco, Popeyes is not named after Popeye the Sailor Man.

[15:30] It's named after Popeye Doyle from the French Connection.

[15:34] So let's...

[15:36] With that in mind, let's go into the main...

[15:37] With that in mind.

[15:39] Let's go into the main meat of this episode.

[15:41] The Best Picture Awards.

[15:43] We all know that the Best Picture Award goes to the best movie of the year it came out.

[15:47] That's scientifically proven.

[15:48] But what movies are the best of all the Best Picture winners?

[15:51] Finally, you, Dan, and you, Stuart, get to be the Academy as you vote for the best best picture in the different best picture categories.

[15:58] Are you ready to tell us which Best Picture pictures are the best best pictures of the Best Picture pictures?

Dan McCoy

[16:05] I think so.

[16:06] I can do my best.

Elliott Kalan

[16:07] I'm going to name a category of Best Picture movies.

[16:09] I'm going to let you decide.

[16:10] We've got a lot of these.

[16:11] So let's not discuss them for too long.

[16:14] But you can have fun discussing them.

[16:15] That's fine.

[16:16] It's just fodder for funny conversation.

[16:17] It doesn't matter.

[16:18] So starting up...

[16:19] Wow, you really backed off that.

[16:20] Our first category is Best Musical Best Picture.

[16:26] Which of the best pictures that are musicals is the best?

[16:29] And our nominees are Chicago, Oliver, My Fair Lady, The Sound of Music.

[16:37] There were back-to-back musical Best Picture winners.

[16:40] An American in Paris and The Broadway Melody.

Dan McCoy

[16:45] It's just...

[16:45] For me, this is an easy one.

[16:47] I'm going to go My Fair Lady all the way.

[16:49] That's...

[16:49] I have to admit, I've not seen The Broadway Melody.

[16:54] But I think My Fair Lady is head and shoulders above the other ones.

Elliott Kalan

[16:58] Okay, Stuart, do you agree?

[16:59] Which of these musicals is the best musical Best Picture?

Stuart Wellington

[17:01] I would say the only two I've seen were Chicago and Sound of Music.

[17:04] I'm going to say Sound of Music.

Elliott Kalan

[17:05] All right.

[17:06] There are some other musicals that were not in any of our Best Picture...

[17:09] Or that won Best Picture, but they'll be in other categories.

[17:10] So Dan says My Fair Lady.

[17:13] Stuart says The Sound of Music, no love for Chicago.

[17:16] Where would you go, Elliot?

[17:17] In this category, I would also say My Fair Lady.

Stuart Wellington

[17:21] Yeah, I feel like having me argue in this category when Elliot is just sitting there,

[17:26] head brimming with knowledge of this garbage.

[17:28] I mean, we started...

Dan McCoy

[17:29] That'd be like if I was like, what's the best Warhammer guy, guys?

[17:34] Off mic before our...

[17:37] You know, we did our last episode before this, and now we're doing the mini episode.

[17:41] But at the very beginning of our recording session, I remember Stuart saying something like,

[17:45] should I get into really boring old musicals like you guys?

Elliott Kalan

[17:49] And I was like, yes, you should.

[17:51] Yeah, you should.

[17:52] Well, this was off mic.

[17:52] We can finally connect on another level.

[17:54] Dan was talking about his dislike of Meet Me in St. Louis, which, all right.

[17:58] I mean, it's a beautiful movie, but okay.

[18:01] It's just not for me.

[18:02] I'm not...

[18:02] You know, I understand.

[18:04] Yeah, you don't want to go out and burn every print of it.

[18:07] No, I hope not.

[18:08] That would be a crime.

[18:09] So, Best Musical, Best Picture.

[18:11] I think that means My Fair Lady is going to end up winning this one.

[18:14] Let's move on to the next category.

[18:16] Ooh, Best Sports, Best Picture.

[18:17] There's a lot of Best Picture winners about sports.

[18:20] The nominees are Gladiator, Chariots of Fire, Million Dollar Baby, Rocky, and Ben-Hur.

[18:27] What is the Best Sports, Best Picture?

[18:29] These are all movies that won Best Picture, but what's the best one of them that is about sports?

Dan McCoy

[18:35] Well, I'll admit that I don't think I...

[18:37] I remember my parents watching Chariots of Fire when I was a kid.

[18:41] Too young to be interested in watching Chariots of Fire.

[18:42] It sounds cooler than it probably is.

[18:44] There's no actual fiery chariots.

[18:46] Apollo isn't flying through the sky.

[18:49] I know the Vangelis theme.

[18:51] Yeah.

[18:52] But, so, of the ones I've seen, I'm going to put Rocky at the top.

[18:56] It's not just a good sports movie.

[18:58] It's a good movie about people.

[19:01] Like a small-scale people movie.

Stuart Wellington

[19:03] Yeah, no shocky here.

[19:04] I'm also putting forward Rocky.

Elliott Kalan

[19:07] There's no shocky.

Stuart Wellington

[19:09] You're right.

[19:09] If there had been a shocky.

Elliott Kalan

[19:11] Yeah, what would the shocky be?

[19:12] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[19:13] I don't know how to react to that.

[19:14] Maybe when that little robot touches you.

Elliott Kalan

[19:17] That's not in this Rocky.

[19:19] Rocky 4, unfortunately, is not nominated for Best Picture.

[19:20] I thought that's what we were talking about.

Stuart Wellington

[19:22] Rocky 4 was the Best Picture.

Elliott Kalan

[19:23] No, this is...

[19:24] Which one are we talking about?

[19:25] The first Rocky.

[19:26] The Mr. T one?

[19:27] No.

[19:27] Again, that's Rocky 3.

[19:28] Not that one.

Stuart Wellington

[19:30] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[19:31] I think he means...

[19:32] The one with Zeus in it?

[19:33] I think he means Creed.

Dan McCoy

[19:34] I think he misspoke.

[19:35] He meant Creed.

[19:36] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[19:37] No, I would also go with Rocky on this one.

[19:39] You know, I do like Million Dollar Baby a lot.

[19:41] There's something about boxing.

[19:42] I don't like it in person, but I like it in the movies.

[19:44] Why is that, guys?

[19:45] Yeah.

[19:45] I don't like seeing people punch each other in the face in real life.

Stuart Wellington

[19:48] I remember like The Fighter, even though I think the boxing...

[19:52] The boxing is the worst part of that because they shoot it like you're just watching it

Elliott Kalan

[19:55] on television.

[19:56] No, but you're right.

Dan McCoy

[19:57] Boxing movies tend to be good movies.

[20:00] I don't know what it is about it, but like...

[20:02] Yeah.

[20:03] There's a lot of great boxing movies.

[20:04] Raging Bull.

[20:05] Raging Bull.

Elliott Kalan

[20:05] The Setup.

[20:06] Like, there's a lot of good boxing movies.

[20:07] Fat City is about boxers, right?

[20:09] Like...

Stuart Wellington

[20:09] On some level, I would lump something like Warrior in with boxing movies because MMA has a lot

[20:16] in common with boxing.

[20:17] It's similar.

[20:17] Yeah.

[20:17] It's similar.

Elliott Kalan

[20:19] So, let's say Rocky, congratulations on Best Sports, Best Pictures.

[20:23] Sly Stallone, come up and accept the award.

[20:25] Thanks, guys.

Stuart Wellington

[20:26] I appreciate it being the Best Sports, Best Picture.

Elliott Kalan

[20:28] And moving on, let's move...

[20:30] We don't want him to say...

[20:30] Wow, you're making fun of Rocky there, Stuart.

Dan McCoy

[20:32] Yeah, I know.

[20:33] I do.

[20:33] Brought to you by Tostitos.

[20:35] He was right there in front of you.

Elliott Kalan

[20:36] I guess I have to thank Adrian.

[20:40] By which I, again, mean the Emperor Hadrian, but I don't like to say the H.

[20:44] He built that wall.

[20:45] He used to have a tree in it, but those guys cut it down.

[20:48] Anyway, moving on.

[20:48] A lot of people don't know I'm Cockney, so I don't say the H.

[20:51] That's what I am.

[20:52] Yeah.

[20:52] They called me the Cockney.

[20:53] It used to be called Rockney to express that I'm Cockney.

[20:57] But people thought it was about Newt Rockney.

[20:59] And I'm like, I'll make a movie about a newt.

[21:01] Like a little salamander that's weird, all slimy.

Stuart Wellington

[21:04] It's one of the worst amphibians, honestly.

Elliott Kalan

[21:07] Yeah, really.

[21:07] What a sucky amphibian.

[21:10] This is ridiculous.

[21:12] Well, moving on to the next category, we've got Best Social Issues Best Picture.

[21:17] These are the best pictures that are about big, important social issues.

[21:21] Let's take a look.

[21:21] And the nominees are...

[21:22] Dan's getting upset already.

[21:24] He hates it.

[21:25] He only wants escapism.

[21:26] Escapism.

[21:27] Nothing else.

[21:28] And the nominees are...

[21:29] Gentlemen's Agreement.

[21:31] An indictment of anti-Semitism.

[21:33] The Lost Weekend.

[21:34] A hard-hitting look at alcoholism.

[21:36] Nomad Land.

[21:37] Which is about how hard it is to keep a toilet in your van and you have to poop in a bucket.

[21:41] The Best Years of Our Lives, The Tales of Men, Dealing with World War II Trauma, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest About Our Nation's Mental Health System.

[21:50] Who wins the Best Social Issues Best Picture award?

Stuart Wellington

[21:52] I just gave Dan shit, but the thing is, I think I've only seen one of these movies, so I deserve the shit.

Dan McCoy

[22:00] I've seen Best Years of Our Lives, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and The Lost Weekend.

[22:06] I haven't seen the other ones.

[22:07] You didn't see Nomad Land?

[22:08] Did not see Nomad Land.

[22:09] Me neither.

[22:09] I only saw One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Elliott Kalan

[22:11] I've seen all of these movies, although I have to admit, if I'm being honest, I fell asleep a couple times during Nomad Land.

Stuart Wellington

[22:17] I think that...

[22:20] Should I see any of these other ones?

Dan McCoy

[22:22] I mean, the ones that I've seen are all good.

[22:27] I would recommend them.

Elliott Kalan

[22:28] But you've got to pick a best one.

[22:29] That's the way that...

[22:29] You can't be like, they're all winners.

[22:31] Everyone gets a trophy.

[22:33] The entire Academy Award system would break down, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[22:36] I think One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is a very entertaining movie, and it certainly doesn't...

[22:43] Like, it has, you know, spoilers, a heartbreaking ending, but is maybe a little too cutesy about mental health leading up to that.

[22:53] Like, I'm not 100%.

[22:56] I might go Lost Weekend.

Elliott Kalan

[22:58] Okay, Lost Weekend.

[22:59] Stuart, just based on the titles, which one would you pick?

Stuart Wellington

[23:03] Chariots of Fire.

Elliott Kalan

[23:05] Okay.

[23:05] That was the last category?

Stuart Wellington

[23:07] Oh, the issue is running.

[23:08] The social issue is that these chariots keep bursting into flame.

[23:11] Nomadland's more current, right?

[23:14] So maybe that's...

[23:14] It is the most current.

[23:15] That's true.

[23:15] It'll be the most relevant to me, Stuart.

Elliott Kalan

[23:18] And mine, the one I would pick, I think, would probably be the one that's in some ways the least immediately relevant now.

[23:23] But The Best Years of Our Lives, I think, is an amazing movie.

[23:26] I think it's just an amazingly beautiful movie.

[23:27] And it's so well observed.

[23:29] It has some funny moments, but it's really touching.

[23:31] It's really beautiful.

[23:32] So I would go with The Best Years of Our Lives.

[23:35] It's got one of my all-time favorites, Myrna Loy, in it.

[23:38] So moving on, the next category.

[23:41] Ooh, time to get tough, everybody.

[23:43] It's Best War, Best Picture.

[23:44] The Best Picture about a war.

[23:47] I'm listening.

[23:48] The nominees are The Deer Hunter, Platoon, The Hurt Locker, All Quiet on the Western Front, the 1930s one.

[23:57] Gone with the Wind, the 1930s one.

[23:59] From Here to Eternity, The Bridge on the River Kwai,

[24:03] and Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King.

[24:06] Which is the winner for Best War, Best Picture?

[24:09] Stuart, none of these really stick out to you in any way, do they?

Stuart Wellington

[24:12] I was about to say, you picked a bunch of things that glamorize war, dude.

[24:19] I didn't pick them.

[24:20] The Academy picked them.

[24:21] Which is the Best War, Best Picture?

[24:24] Obviously, you know my answer.

[24:26] It's Lord of the Rings, Return of the King.

Elliott Kalan

[24:28] I would guess that would be Stuart's answer.

[24:29] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[24:30] Which war is that, by the way?

[24:32] The war between, I mean, it's the final War of the Ring, but it's also the, it's the war between the forces of Sauron and-

Elliott Kalan

[24:39] No, no, but I just wondered, I don't know, what's the official name of that war?

[24:41] Like, I know that there's the War of the Five Armies in The Hobbit.

Stuart Wellington

[24:44] Battle of the Five Armies.

[24:45] Battle of the Five Armies.

[24:45] What's the name of this war?

[24:46] I think it is the War of the Ring.

[24:47] Oh, okay, the War of the Ring.

[24:48] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[24:49] Imagine if that series was called The War of the Ring.

[24:53] What a badass title that would be.

[24:54] Yeah.

[24:54] Even better than Lord of the Rings.

[24:55] It's the War of the Ring.

Stuart Wellington

[24:56] Amazing.

[24:57] Although Lord of the Rings makes you wonder, who is this guy?

[25:01] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[25:02] Why does he not show up in the book?

[25:03] Why so many rings?

[25:04] Is he Alan Moore?

[25:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[25:08] For me, like-

[25:09] Gone with the Wind for you, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[25:11] I mean, the filmmaking in Gone with the Wind is terrific.

[25:14] Like, the message is not good.

[25:16] Yeah.

[25:17] But it is a beautifully mounted epic movie.

[25:21] But, like, part of the question I have when, like, thinking about this is, like, well, am I just saying which movie I think is the best?

[25:30] Or does it matter whether it is, like, a good exemplar of war movies, for instance?

Elliott Kalan

[25:36] I think you're just picking what you think is the best of the movies.

[25:39] But would those be two different choices for you?

Dan McCoy

[25:45] Possibly.

[25:45] But I don't know what would be the, you know, exemplar of war movies pick that I would pick.

[25:50] Well, Dan, which is the closest to your experience of war?

[25:52] I was going to go with Bridge on the River Kwai, which I think is my favorite of those movies.

[26:00] But it is less about the act of war and more about, like, the confusing space these characters find themselves in as prisoners of war.

[26:10] And, like, how they, you know, like, one of the characters sort of, like, lets, like, the, I don't know, lets their, like, need to do something.

[26:22] And, like, have pride in his work, like, blind him to sort of the larger context of the war.

Stuart Wellington

[26:29] I do have a question just to help you clarify.

[26:32] Yeah.

[26:32] How many Moomakil are in Bridge over River Kwai?

[26:36] I mean, by my count, there's less than one.

[26:40] Less than one.

[26:41] How about Witch Kings on Fel Beasts?

[26:44] None of those either.

[26:45] Witch King of Angmar, to be specific.

[26:46] Yeah, yeah.

[26:47] No.

[26:47] Witch King of Angmar?

[26:49] Oh, you don't want to know.

Elliott Kalan

[26:51] That's a classic Lord of the, that's a classic Middle Earth comedy bit.

[26:55] Is the Witch King of Angmar.

[26:56] Now, okay, look, we gotta, we gotta, I'm gonna, this Fel Beasts is going to the, is going to the Witch King of Angmar.

[27:02] Witch King of Angmar?

[27:03] Yes.

[27:03] Yes, King of Angmar?

[27:05] No.

[27:07] Uh, and I would choose, I think the original All Quiet on the Western Front.

[27:10] I think it's still a really powerful movie.

[27:11] I haven't seen the new one.

[27:12] There's part of me that's like, I saw the original.

[27:14] I don't know, I don't know that I need to see.

[27:14] Yeah.

[27:15] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[27:15] You asked before, I think if, yeah, if I was gonna pick a war, war movie, that would probably

[27:20] be the one.

Elliott Kalan

[27:20] Uh-huh.

[27:21] Not The Hurt Locker, one of the least, I think, accurate looks at war to be, to win Best Picture?

[27:26] Uh, there's this idea that there's these, just like, these, these kind of freelance bomb

[27:29] disposal guys cowboying around, you know, just doing whatever?

[27:33] Mm-hmm.

[27:34] Mm-hmm.

[27:34] I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[27:35] I mean, I can't speak to the accuracy of it or not.

[27:37] Like, I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[27:38] Oh, I forgot that, Dan, you were found out that the, the war stories you used to tell

[27:41] all the time, it was revealed that there was stolen valor.

[27:44] Yeah, yeah, that's right.

[27:45] Um, Dan, he, we used to go to bars and Dan would get free drinks by telling his old

[27:49] war tales.

[27:50] Yeah.

[27:51] But he would talk-

Stuart Wellington

[27:51] He had that phony arm that squirted blood.

[27:53] Exactly.

[27:53] They were all stolen from old East Economics.

Elliott Kalan

[27:56] East Comics and also the Aubrey Maturin novels.

[27:59] And we're like, Dan, there's no way you fought in the Napoleonic Wars.

Stuart Wellington

[28:02] Dan would be a great Steven Manturin.

[28:04] Oh, Manturin.

[28:05] That's how you say it.

Elliott Kalan

[28:06] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[28:06] Whereas I feel like I would be a great Jack Aubrey.

[28:09] That's, that's the basis of our friendship.

Elliott Kalan

[28:11] All right.

[28:11] I guess I'm not, I guess I'm what?

[28:12] One of the boats?

[28:14] Yeah, you're the boat we're riding around on top of.

[28:16] Yeah, but it's like a talking boat.

[28:18] Yeah, it's like Swiss Army Man.

[28:19] You're all the semen.

[28:21] Well, I do have two children.

[28:23] Moving on to the next, moving on to the next category.

[28:26] Best British person, best picture.

[28:28] These are movies that are of particular interest to British people.

[28:31] The Academy likes to recognize British things.

[28:35] And so.

[28:36] King's speech, baby.

[28:36] So your nominees are The King's Speech, How Green Was My Valley, Mrs. Miniver, Mutiny on the Bounty, Cavalcade, and A Man for All Seasons.

[28:47] Which of these British person best pictures is the best British person best picture?

[28:53] Are there any you have not seen?

[28:55] You have not seen Cavalcade.

[28:56] I know you haven't seen Cavalcade.

[28:58] There's no way.

Dan McCoy

[28:59] I haven't seen Cavalcade.

[29:00] I haven't seen A Man for All Seasons.

[29:03] A Man for All Seasons.

[29:04] What were the other like last ones?

[29:05] Like I think the last four I haven't seen.

[29:07] Mutiny on the Bounty?

[29:07] You've seen that.

[29:08] Certainly, right?

[29:09] With Clark Gable and Charles Loughton?

[29:11] No, I haven't seen it.

[29:13] Have you seen Mrs. Miniver?

[29:14] I've seen King's Speech.

[29:16] I haven't seen Mrs. Miniver.

Elliott Kalan

[29:17] Okay.

[29:17] So you have seen almost none of these movies.

[29:19] So between the ones you've seen.

Stuart Wellington

[29:21] I would go with How Green Was My Valley.

[29:23] It's a pretty good movie.

[29:24] A Man for All Seasons sounds really cool.

[29:25] So I'd pick that one.

[29:26] But I'm not familiar with it.

Elliott Kalan

[29:28] Okay.

[29:28] Well, it's the story of, what's his face?

[29:32] Thomas the Beckett, is that?

[29:33] No, no.

[29:34] That's Beckett.

[29:35] A Man for All Seasons is.

[29:37] Becker?

[29:38] Becker is the story of Thomas the Beckett.

[29:40] A Man for All Seasons is about the, is Thomas or Thomas Moore?

[29:45] Oh, yeah.

[29:46] Yeah.

[29:47] I apologize.

[29:48] Well, I got the Thomas part right.

[29:50] Yeah, you did.

[29:51] But you were thinking of Thomas' English muffins.

[29:53] They've not made a movie about yet.

Dan McCoy

[29:54] I was thinking about my own John Thomas.

[29:57] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[29:58] Don't need to hear about that.

[29:59] And I'm the one guy who made a semen joke just a moment ago.

[30:03] I'm going to go with The King's Speech also.

[30:05] Yeah.

[30:06] And only because it does everything that movie needs to do.

[30:08] It's an entertaining watch.

[30:10] You know exactly going in, exactly what's going to happen.

[30:11] Although How Green in My Valley is great also.

[30:13] Meeting in the Bounty is great.

[30:15] I've also never seen Cavalcade.

[30:17] And I've been meaning to for a while.

[30:18] Maybe, actually, you know what?

[30:19] Maybe I'll say, maybe I'll say Mutiny on the Bounty.

[30:22] We're moving on to the next category.

[30:23] The next category is, we've got a couple more categories until the ad break.

[30:28] The next category is Best Based on a True Story Best Picture.

[30:32] Okay.

[30:32] These are movies based on a true story.

[30:34] And some of these movies have come up in previous categories that are also based on true stories.

[30:37] These are other ones.

[30:38] And the nominees are 12 Years a Slave, Gandhi, The Last Emperor, Schindler's List, Amadeus, Spotlight, Lawrence of Arabia.

[30:48] I know Dan's going to say that one.

[30:49] A Man for All Seasons, again, double nomination.

[30:53] Patton, The Life of Emile Zola, and The Great Ziegfeld.

Dan McCoy

[30:57] No, I mean, for me, number one with a bullet out of those is Amadeus.

[31:00] I love Amadeus.

[31:01] Yeah.

[31:02] I thought you were going to say Lawrence of Arabia.

[31:03] Fucking rocks.

[31:03] Amadeus is really good.

[31:04] I mean, Lawrence of Arabia is also a fantastic movie.

[31:06] But I'm going to go with Amadeus because I, like, even as, like, a kid where you don't think, like, oh, you know, you're going to watch Amadeus.

[31:13] Like, I watch that movie over and over again.

[31:15] It's, like, funny and, like, the performances are so great.

[31:20] It, like, moves for, like, a long movie.

Stuart Wellington

[31:22] How can you be the best hater of all time?

[31:27] And also, it's got the craziest poster I've ever seen of a movie.

Elliott Kalan

[31:31] That poster promises something that is weirdly fantastical compared to what you actually get.

[31:36] But it is a really good movie.

[31:37] F. Murray Abraham is so good in it, as you're saying, the greatest hater of all time.

[31:42] Stuart, you're also going to say Amadeus?

Stuart Wellington

[31:44] Yeah, I mean, it's tough to beat it, right?

Elliott Kalan

[31:47] I feel like I have to say Schindler's List because I'm Jewish.

[31:50] And that movie was such a, had such a big impact on everyone I knew when it came out.

[31:56] And it is an incredibly well-made movie, but it is certainly not fun.

Stuart Wellington

[31:59] And also, it also cemented Steven Spielberg as also, like, not just a great box office smash, but, like, an important filmmaker.

Elliott Kalan

[32:08] Exactly.

[32:09] Although, I would say, when it comes to his greatest movies, I still would say probably E.T. is his greatest movie.

[32:14] There's something about it that's just so beautiful and so magical.

[32:17] But you're right.

[32:18] I think it's, that is the movie where it was like, oh, Steven Spielberg has more than popcorn on his mind.

[32:23] You know?

Stuart Wellington

[32:24] I think you just wrote a fucking, like, variety piece about it.

Elliott Kalan

[32:28] I've got to set it, put it in the portal of time to go back to 1993.

Dan McCoy

[32:33] Although, Lawrence of Arabia does fucking rock.

[32:36] I mean, it is a very close one, but.

Elliott Kalan

[32:39] That's a tough one, yeah.

[32:41] Lawrence of Arabia also narrowly missed being nominated in the Best British Person Best Picture category.

[32:46] I don't know how it didn't make it in there.

[32:47] Must have split the voters.

[32:49] Coming up, the next, the next category.

[32:50] We're almost up to our break, halftime.

[32:52] The next category, Best Made-Up Story Set in an Earlier Time Period Picture.

[32:57] These are kind of historical movies, but they are, have made-up fictional stories in historical settings.

[33:03] Can I guess one of these?

Dan McCoy

[33:04] It's called historical fiction.

[33:05] There's a, there's a.

[33:05] I've never heard that phrase before.

[33:07] Never heard of it.

[33:08] Shakespeare in Love's got to be in this one, right?

Elliott Kalan

[33:09] That's one of the nominees.

[33:10] The nominees are Shakespeare in Love, Unforgiven, Titanic, Dances with Wolves, and No Country for Old Men,

[33:18] which is set in 1980, despite being a 21st century movie.

[33:21] So I'm calling it in earlier time.

Stuart Wellington

[33:22] I'm not seeing every single movie in this category.

[33:24] That's crazy.

[33:25] We did it.

[33:26] We did it.

Stuart Wellington

[33:26] We had a category where Stuart saw them all.

Elliott Kalan

[33:28] Correct.

[33:30] As long as they're mostly movies from the 90s up till now.

[33:33] Yeah.

[33:33] In fact, they're all movies from the 90s up till now.

Dan McCoy

[33:34] Can you run through them all again really fast?

[33:37] Unforgiven.

[33:38] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[33:38] Dances with Wolves, Titanic, Shakespeare in Love, and No Country for Old Men.

[33:42] Stuart, it's so good that I didn't, I didn't nominate Cimarron, the, I think, 1930 Best Picture winner,

[33:48] which was a struggle with Western.

Stuart Wellington

[33:49] I will say 100%.

[33:50] It's got to be Unforgiven.

[33:52] I feel like Unforgiven is so good, and Hackman is so good in it, and it's so, like, both bare bones but also straightforward.

[34:01] It completely dissects the, like, myth of the West.

[34:04] And that scene with Gene Hackman and Saul Rubineck in the fucking, and Richard Harris in the jail is, like, a perfect movie scene.

[34:14] Duck of death.

Dan McCoy

[34:16] Yeah.

[34:17] You know, like, just to provide some variety, like, Unforgiven's way up there, but I'm gonna go, I'm actually gonna go Shakespeare in Love.

[34:25] I like, I like, I think it gets undervalued because of its lightness and also people mad about Saving Private Ryan not winning that year.

[34:37] So, like, like, they needed to shit on Shakespeare in Love because you can't just, like, two movies.

[34:44] You have to, well, one must win.

[34:46] I mean, like, that is the Oscars thing.

[34:48] But, yeah, I just, that movie's so much fun that I'm gonna go with it.

Elliott Kalan

[34:54] All right.

[34:55] That's pretty good.

[34:55] I think I would either go with Unforgiven or I might give it to Titanic, to be honest.

[35:00] It's not my favorite movie, but it is undeniable that it is a movie that captures people's hearts, that, like, tells a big, bold story.

[35:08] And their bucks.

[35:08] The ship's wreck scenes are amazing.

[35:11] The romance touched people.

[35:13] James Cameron drew that picture of Rose, I believe, in the movie because he's that good in Arnest.

[35:18] He's a double threat.

[35:19] He's both a director and also he can sketch.

Dan McCoy

[35:22] I feel like people are gonna be mad that none of us picked No Country for Old Men, but that's never been one of my Coen movies.

[35:28] No.

[35:28] Like, I respect it.

[35:29] I like it.

[35:30] But it feels like, I don't know.

[35:32] I just, I want a Coen movie when I see a Coen movie.

[35:34] I feel the same way.

Elliott Kalan

[35:35] I liked it, but I was showing my older sons the beginning of Hudsucker Proxy yesterday.

[35:39] And, like, that's what I want out of Coen Brothers movie.

[35:42] I want them to make a movie nobody else could ever make.

Stuart Wellington

[35:44] And it also suffers from the fact that it shares a category with fucking Unforgiven.

Elliott Kalan

[35:48] Yes.

[35:49] And Unforgiven, I like more than No Country for Old Men.

[35:51] I mean, Unforgiven, it's a, I mean, say what you will about his politics.

[35:55] Clint Eastwood, great filmmaker.

[35:56] You know, I'm a big fan of his work.

[35:58] Finally, we have one.

[35:59] One take guy.

[36:00] Yep, because he is old and does not want to work late hours.

[36:03] One final category before we take a short break.

[36:06] The final category for this half, best, best picture in a foreign language.

[36:10] And the nominees are Parasite.

[36:13] So, guys, what's the winner in that category?

Stuart Wellington

[36:15] Oh, I see what you did there.

[36:18] It's Parasite.

[36:19] I mean, I will say Parasite rules.

[36:22] It's very good.

[36:24] Yeah, Parasite.

Elliott Kalan

[36:25] We'll see if it changes still the only best picture winner to be in another language, you know.

[36:29] I guess Last Emperor has Chinese in it, but there's also English in it.

[36:33] Parasite, there's no English in it, you know.

[36:35] Mm-mm.

[36:35] Just entirely in Korean, right?

[36:38] So, Parasite, by default, wins that one.

[36:41] Now it's time for us to take a short break for the sponsors of this year's first annual best, best picture awards.

[36:49] Dan, who is sponsoring these awards?

Dan McCoy

[36:51] Well, the Flophouse and, you know, by default, the sub-show that you've invented within the Flophouse is sponsored in part by Soul Wellness.

[37:03] If you're trying to drink a little less in 2026, instead of that cocktail, try Soul's out-of-office drinks.

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[37:59] It's the easiest way to unwind without the grogginess that you might get with alcohol.

[38:06] So give yourself the gift of a healthier unwind.

[38:08] Right now, Soul is offering my audience, our audience, 30% off your entire order.

[38:13] Go to GetSoul.com and use the code FLOP.

[38:17] That is GetSoul.com.

[38:19] Promo code FLOP for 30% off.

Stuart Wellington

[38:22] We're also sponsored by Aura Frames.

[38:25] Now, many of us have aging parents, and you're probably wondering, I want to get them a gift.

[38:32] Maybe get them a gift for Valentine's Day, for, you know, Parents' Day.

[38:39] Old Parents' Day.

[38:41] Parents' Day.

[38:42] But a lot of times you're trying to think, what would be a good gift for my parents who are aging

[38:46] and also are mad that we don't take more physical photos to put in a giant photo album?

[38:51] Well, Aura Frames make digital picture frames that let you, that when you get it,

[38:57] you can open it up and preload a bunch of your digital photos to share those memories with your parents.

[39:03] And it also comes with a free gift box inside, so you can just give them that gift.

[39:07] It's easy to set up.

[39:08] It only takes a few minutes.

[39:10] And that lets you share all your photos and videos.

[39:13] It's easy to download.

[39:15] It's great for parents.

[39:16] It's also great for Dan McCoy, who has one.

[39:18] And I get to see occasional pictures of me slide by.

[39:21] And I'm like, because I'm in that picture, I care about it.

[39:25] I want to be reminded of my friends.

[39:27] Yeah.

[39:28] Named number one by Wirecutter, you can save on this perfect gift by visiting

[39:33] AuraFrames.com for a limited time.

[39:37] Listeners can get $35 off their best-selling Carver Matte Frame with code FLOP.

[39:44] That's A-U-R-A frames.com, promo code FLOP.

[39:50] Support this show by mentioning us at checkout.

[39:54] Terms and conditions apply.

Elliott Kalan

[39:56] And the final sponsor for this year's first annual Best Best Picture Awards is The Flophouse,

[40:02] or rather, Flop TV.

[40:03] That's right, Flop TV, our one-hour online video show, still available to watch the recordings

[40:09] through the end of February.

[40:11] Go to theflophouse.simpletix.com.

[40:13] New episodes are, of course, done for the season.

[40:15] But if you manage to miss the season somehow, even with our huge ad blitz that we took out

[40:20] all across the country, just go to theflophouse.simpletix.com, where you can watch every episode of

[40:24] Flop TV through the end of February when it goes back in the Flophouse vault.

[40:29] You can enjoy us talking about The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Jack Frost, Xanadu, Zardoz,

[40:35] Dr. Doolittle, and Plan 9 from Outer Space, some classic bad movies, right in front of your

[40:40] face, with our faces on camera.

[40:43] That's just theflophouse.simpletix.com.

S5

[40:50] Hi, I am Jordan Krusciola, and I host Feeling Seen.

[40:54] I'm here with Maximum Fun member of the month, Khalil Goodman.

[40:58] Hi, Khalil.

S6

[40:59] Hi, Jordan.

[41:00] Thank you for having me.

[41:01] So great to see you.

S5

[41:02] I gotta know what's made you feel seen.

[41:04] If you, I figure you've thought about this if you've listened to the show a bunch.

S6

[41:08] I read X-Men when I was six.

[41:10] When you're a kid who makes art, which I am, and you're a queer kid, like there's this feeling

[41:14] of like something is different, but you don't know what it is.

[41:17] Yeah.

[41:17] You can be different, but it can be a superpower.

S5

[41:19] What would you say to others who might be considering supporting the show?

[41:24] What would be your sales pitch to them?

S6

[41:26] If you love this thing, if you are getting all of this joy and comfort from this thing,

[41:32] make sure that this thing that you like will continue.

S5

[41:35] Thank you so much, Khalil, for taking the time to talk to me today and for listening to

[41:38] the show.

[41:38] My God, it means a lot to just know people are really listening and valuing what they're

[41:42] hearing.

S6

[41:43] Thank you so much.

Elliott Kalan

[41:44] Become a Maximum Fun member now at MaximumFun.org.

[41:49] Join.

S7

[41:51] If you want to know what's going on in the world of movies, you should be listening to Maximum

[41:55] Film so we can tell you all about it.

Dan McCoy

[41:57] Okay, but what if you already know what's going on in the world of movies?

S7

[41:59] What if you're kind of obsessed with movies?

[42:01] Like maybe you have a problem?

Dan McCoy

[42:02] Well, then you should definitely be listening to Maximum Film because we too have that problem

S7

[42:08] and it's important you know you're not alone.

Elliott Kalan

[42:10] We're talking indies you'll want to seek out.

S7

[42:12] Blockbusters and blockbusting wannabes.

Dan McCoy

[42:14] Classics we can't get enough of.

[42:16] I'm comedian and writer Kevin Avery.

[42:18] I'm film critic Alonzo Duraldi.

S7

[42:20] I'm festival programmer and producer Drea Clark.

Dan McCoy

[42:23] Together we're Maximum Film.

[42:25] Smart about movies in Hollywood so you don't have to be.

S7

[42:28] But if you already are, that's also great.

[42:30] And hey, we see you.

[42:31] New episodes every week on MaximumFun.org.

Elliott Kalan

[42:35] And we now return to the first annual Flophouse Best Best Picture Awards hosted by Elliot Kalin,

[42:41] Dan McCoy, and Stuart Wellington.

[42:43] You know, guys, there's been a lot of movies with a lot of guys in them.

[42:47] And sometimes the guys in Best Picture movies have problems.

[42:50] So this next category is the Best This Guy's Got a Problem Best Picture Movie.

[42:55] Are you ready for the nominees?

[42:58] Yes.

[42:58] Yeah, I got problems.

[42:59] I want to see movies about guys with problems.

[43:01] So everyone wants to see movies about guys with problems.

[43:04] So the nominees for Best This Guy's Got a Problem Best Picture are

[43:08] Marty, Rain Man, Hamlet, A Beautiful Mind, Forrest Gump, Kramer vs. Kramer, and Silence of the Lambs.

[43:18] What is your best This Guy's Got a Problem Best Picture?

[43:20] Marty, of course, it's loneliness.

[43:22] Rain Man, it's dealing with his brother.

[43:24] Hamlet, he's got to figure out how to avenge his dad's death.

[43:27] Beautiful Mind, he's got some real issues.

[43:29] And he's got like ghost problems, dude.

[43:31] And ghost problems.

[43:32] Beautiful Mind also kind of has ghost problems.

[43:34] He does.

[43:34] Forrest Gump obviously has an issue with history.

[43:37] Kramer vs. Kramer, he's got this divorce and kid to deal with.

[43:39] And Silence of the Lambs, there's a lot of problems that that guy has in that movie.

[43:43] He's hungry.

[43:45] He's so hungry and hangry.

[43:47] So what is your win for Best This Guy's Got a Problem Best Picture?

Dan McCoy

[43:51] Yeah, I'm just going to go personal fave from this.

[43:53] Silence of the Lambs, it's a little bit of a different kind of problem

[43:58] than a lot of the ones you put in there.

Stuart Wellington

[44:02] Yeah, Silence of the Lambs I think gets, I think it's easy to overlook certain things about

[44:10] Silence of the Lambs in like just focusing on the amazing performance from Anthony Hopkins.

[44:16] But it's a very well-told story and it's very beautiful.

[44:20] It also shows parts of America that you don't often see, like these like shitty steel, like Midwestern steel towns.

[44:29] And it's like filled with, it's filled with like extras that just, I don't know, it's awesome.

[44:37] It's great.

[44:37] It's a great movie.

Dan McCoy

[44:38] Yeah.

[44:38] I mean, I do think it's worth bringing up in our modern world that like sort of in spite of it,

[44:48] it tries not to be this, but it can be taken in some very transphobic ways.

[44:53] Like the movie itself tries to say like, hey, that's not what this person is.

[44:58] They have a different pathology.

[45:00] They think they're like this, but they're not.

[45:02] And I think Jonathan Demme as a director was very much a friend to the queer community or tried to be.

[45:10] But it's clumsy in certain ways relating to like making that difference,

[45:16] like not villainizing like a character that could be seen a certain way.

Elliott Kalan

[45:20] I certainly do feel like they are playing on a, the audience's discomfort for that type of person in order to make Buffalo Bills seem more out-outre.

[45:30] But it is a really well-made movie.

[45:32] I have to say though, I think my pick for this category is Marty.

[45:34] Marty is another just really touching movie.

[45:37] It's really good.

[45:38] Ernest Borgman is really good in it.

[45:40] And it's a really, it is the opposite of most Best Picture winners, not all, but most in that it is super small stakes.

[45:46] I would call Marty the Anora of the 1950s in that it is a movie about-

[45:50] You have steward's attention now.

[45:51] It is not huge scale.

[45:53] It is about human beings and loneliness.

[45:56] And Marty is fucking nude for most of the movie.

[45:58] Like he just keeps stripping his clothes off.

[46:00] So, you know, you got, there's very intense sex scenes in it.

Stuart Wellington

[46:03] Oh yeah, okay.

[46:04] Let me just watch how to stream Marty.

[46:09] Mr. Skin Ernest Borgman.

Elliott Kalan

[46:12] But I think Marty, I think Marty accomplishes it for what it's doing in the 50s.

[46:16] A lot of what Anora is accomplishing in what it's doing.

[46:20] But obviously about a different type of person.

[46:21] But Sound Slam is still really good.

[46:23] Yeah.

[46:24] Solid picks.

[46:24] Moving on to the next category.

[46:26] Things are getting interesting.

[46:27] This is the category of Best Problematic Cast Member Best Picture.

[46:30] Best Best Picture with a Problematic Cast Member in it.

[46:33] And the nominees are-

[46:34] Annie Hall, American Beauty, Braveheart, and Grand Hotel.

[46:41] Grand Hotel is in the category of course because of Wallace Beery, one of the stars of Grand Hotel,

[46:45] who when he was 30, he dated and then married teenage Gloria Swanson,

[46:50] and then seems to have secretly poisoned her to end her pregnancy when they were married.

[46:54] So not a good guy at all.

[46:55] Very problematic.

[46:56] What is your win pick for Best Problematic Best Picture?

Dan McCoy

[46:59] I mean, I think that Annie Hall is a full order of magnitude better than any of those other movies.

[47:06] I will say this.

Elliott Kalan

[47:07] Grand Hotel is a great movie.

[47:08] In terms of like-

[47:09] I haven't seen Grand Hotel.

[47:10] Big star, 30s, Hollywood kind of like, kind of like melodramatic storytelling.

[47:16] But I agree with you.

[47:16] Annie Hall is much better than American Beauty or Braveheart.

[47:19] And I think better than Grand Hotel too.

[47:20] Yeah.

[47:21] What do you think, Stu?

Stuart Wellington

[47:22] No, I'm with you guys.

[47:24] Okay.

[47:24] You're not going on a limb for American Beauty?

[47:28] Yeah.

[47:28] I mean, I feel like it's funny how taken with American Beauty everybody was when it came out.

[47:34] And also Braveheart.

Dan McCoy

[47:36] But also I think that Annie Hall has a lot of sort of quiet influence that maybe people don't think about

[47:44] because it's, again, a comedy and people don't take them as seriously.

[47:47] But despite the fact that, spoiler alert, it's not your typical rom-com where they like end up happily together.

[47:55] Thank you for having spoilers for Annie Hall.

Elliott Kalan

[47:57] I think it's-

[47:58] A movie that builds a suspense to an almost unbearable peak.

Dan McCoy

[48:03] I think it is as responsible for like what the modern rom-com is as When Harry Met Sally.

Elliott Kalan

[48:09] Well, you certainly don't get When Harry Met Sally without Annie Hall.

Stuart Wellington

[48:12] And it's a movie so good that people will do some extreme mental gymnastics to justify their love.

[48:21] Yeah.

[48:22] I mean-

[48:22] Or their love of the work of a specific person.

Elliott Kalan

[48:24] If only for Diane Keaton's performance in it.

[48:27] Rest in peace.

[48:28] Yeah.

[48:28] One of the true amazing legendary masters.

[48:30] Yeah.

[48:30] Like she's so good in it.

[48:32] And that scene where she's telling the story about her relative who died.

[48:38] It's a-

[48:39] I remember as a kid watching that movie, my parents not really understanding any of the jokes in the movie.

[48:43] But that scene, like there was just something about it that really-

[48:46] I was like, I gotta figure out what this scene means.

[48:48] Like what it-

[48:49] Why it's in this movie.

[48:50] Like what is she doing in it?

[48:51] And it just always really captivated me.

[48:53] So I'm gonna go with you on that one.

[48:54] Moving on to our next category.

[48:56] Best crime movie with the in the title.

[48:58] Best picture.

[48:59] And the nominees are The French Connection.

[49:02] The Sting.

[49:03] The Departed.

[49:05] In the Heat of the Night.

[49:06] And On the Waterfront.

[49:08] What is the best picture that's a crime movie with the in the title?

Stuart Wellington

[49:13] Oh, The French Connection.

[49:15] That's the French Connection.

[49:16] Yeah, French Connection's the best.

Elliott Kalan

[49:18] What was the third one you said?

[49:21] I'll read the nominees again.

[49:22] The French Connection.

[49:23] The Sting.

[49:25] In the Heat of the Night.

[49:26] And On the Waterfront.

Stuart Wellington

[49:28] In the Heat of the Night has two thes in it.

[49:30] So that might give it a little leg up.

[49:33] I have a lot of affection for The Departed.

[49:35] It was a movie that was playing when my wife and I made out for one of our first times.

[49:40] So like, you know, I think about it.

[49:42] I think about it fondly.

[49:44] But I mean, compared to...

[49:47] Like it...

[49:48] And it's very entertaining.

[49:51] I think it's good.

[49:52] But, you know, it's not good fellas to me.

Elliott Kalan

[49:57] No, no.

[49:57] It's not Scorsese's best.

[49:59] Yeah.

[49:59] Well, it's not Scorsese's best.

[50:01] But it's still good.

Dan McCoy

[50:02] This is not a...

[50:02] But we're not putting it...

[50:03] We're not putting it up against other Scorsese.

[50:05] We're putting it up against these movies.

[50:06] And I'm putting it up against French Connection movie I like.

[50:08] And for me, French Connection, of course, has that legendary chase.

[50:14] But I'm not...

[50:15] I'm not the biggest fan.

[50:16] You know?

[50:17] Like it's...

[50:17] You know?

[50:18] Maybe...

[50:19] You gotta pick one.

[50:20] The taboos that it's broken of like gritty, like horrible cop.

[50:24] Just like...

[50:26] It's...

[50:26] We've seen it enough since then.

[50:28] And I also like...

[50:29] Don't like that kind of cop existing in real life.

[50:32] So maybe that...

[50:33] I'm gonna go with Departed.

[50:35] Like I like In the Heat of the Night quite a bit.

[50:38] Also as gritty cops.

[50:38] Too, but...

Elliott Kalan

[50:40] I mean, On the Waterfront is great.

[50:41] I don't like the politics of On the Waterfront, which is, you know,

[50:44] Ilya Kazan saying it's good that I named names.

[50:47] But I will say the French...

[50:48] I think I might go with the French Connection.

[50:49] Only because I think it does such a good job of showing the different details

[50:54] of kind of rich and poor in it or different lives.

[50:57] The scene where it's like the bad guys are eating a fancy meal

[50:59] and Papa Doyle, I think, is just eating a slice of pizza in a doorway

[51:02] or something like that.

[51:03] Like I think the details in it are so good.

[51:06] So I might say that one.

[51:08] But maybe...

[51:08] I might say The Sting just because it's my mom's favorite movie.

Dan McCoy

[51:11] I'm giving...

[51:11] I'm voting for The Sting because it's my mom's favorite.

[51:13] That's what I'll do.

[51:15] She loves Ragtime.

Elliott Kalan

[51:17] She loves...

[51:17] Well, she loves Rubber Redford.

[51:18] I mean, my mom had such a huge crush on...

[51:19] ...for a decade.

[51:20] My mom had such a huge crush on Newman.

Dan McCoy

[51:23] Oh, wow.

[51:23] Our moms could have...

[51:25] I get both.

Elliott Kalan

[51:25] ...had sex with that movie in a three...

[51:26] I don't understand.

[51:27] Yes, sir.

[51:28] It would be foursome.

[51:29] No, it's just the movie.

[51:30] It's not the...

Dan McCoy

[51:30] It's just a single unit in this conjecture, I guess.

Elliott Kalan

[51:34] I guess so, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[51:35] You're going to have to draw it for me, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[51:36] Okay.

[51:37] Hold on.

[51:37] Look, I think there's a website where you can put that image up.

[51:39] So let's go to the next category.

[51:41] We're coming to the homestretch of the show.

[51:43] Just a few categories left.

[51:45] This category, Best Shirley MacLaine Best Picture.

[51:48] The nominees are The Apartment, Terms of Endearment, and Around the World in 80 Days.

[51:53] Which of these Best Picture winners with Shirley MacLaine in it is the best of the Shirley MacLaine Best Pictures?

Stuart Wellington

[51:58] I've only seen one, but I really love The Apartment, so I'll have to say that.

[52:01] You should see Terms of Endearment.

[52:02] I think you'll like Terms of Endearment.

[52:04] I've only heard many puns on Terms of Endearment's name.

Elliott Kalan

[52:08] Don't go...

[52:09] Don't see Sperms of Endearment.

[52:10] That's a different movie.

Stuart Wellington

[52:11] Sperms of Enrearment, I think.

Elliott Kalan

[52:13] I don't know.

[52:14] That one I wasn't familiar with.

Dan McCoy

[52:16] I feel like I got to see Terms of Endearment again.

[52:19] I saw it when I was younger.

[52:21] I really thought it was great.

[52:23] And if a long weepy about someone dying at the end, but also just normal life happening,

[52:33] can make a child interested in it, it must have been pretty great.

Elliott Kalan

[52:36] It must be a great movie, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[52:37] Like Beaches?

[52:39] Like Beaches.

[52:40] I think I'm still going to go with The Apartment, but this one's a close one between those two.

[52:45] It's a tough one.

Elliott Kalan

[52:45] They're both really good movies.

[52:46] The Apartment, in Terms of Endearment, are both really close.

[52:48] I think I'm going to go with The Apartment also, but they're both really good.

[52:52] You get a little bit more Shirley MacLaine in The Apartment.

[52:54] Or maybe you get more in Terms of Endearment.

[52:56] I'm not sure.

[52:58] Someone watch both movies, tally up the amount of screen time Shirley MacLaine has in both

[53:02] of them, send them in.

[53:03] But we can all agree Around the World in 80 Days is not winning this category.

[53:05] No, no.

[53:06] No.

[53:06] All right.

[53:07] Moving on to the next category.

[53:08] Best Godfather Best Picture.

[53:10] And the nominees are The Godfather, The Godfather Part 2.

[53:15] That's it.

[53:15] Just two nominees in this category.

[53:17] Okay.

[53:17] Which of these Godfather movies that won Best Picture is the best of The Godfather

[53:21] movie Best Pictures?

[53:23] Oh, boy.

[53:25] I'm going to go with, I'll just say, I'm going to go with The First Godfather.

[53:27] Yeah.

[53:28] The Godfather Part 2 is great, but The First Godfather, I think, is magical.

[53:31] I think it's just one of the greatest movies ever made.

Dan McCoy

[53:33] I think I'm going to go with that, too.

[53:33] I mean, like, there's this, like, big scope of The Godfather Part 2 that I think, at the

[53:39] time, a lot of people were like, is this better?

[53:41] But I think I like the focused quality of The Godfather more.

Elliott Kalan

[53:44] You can watch The Godfather without ever seeing Part 2, and you're like, wow.

[53:48] But if you watch The Godfather Part 2, I don't think you're like, amazing.

[53:51] Like, you got to see the first one.

[53:52] You got to know what's going on.

Stuart Wellington

[53:53] You know, I should give Part 2 another watch, because I think I only saw it, like, immediately

[53:58] after watching the first one and being like, yeah, that was good, too.

[54:01] But not, I feel like having some space would be good for me.

Elliott Kalan

[54:04] Yeah, you may have accidentally watched Jane Austen's Mafia.

[54:08] I was like, damn, this thing is so fucking funny.

[54:11] Like, what a weird turn that the first movie is so serious and the second one is so hilarious.

[54:15] All right, so The Godfather takes it.

[54:17] Next category, best, best picture you've probably never seen.

[54:20] And the nominees are The Broadway Melody, Cimarron, Out of Africa, and Tom Jones.

[54:27] Have you seen any of these movies?

[54:28] I've seen Tom Jones.

[54:30] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[54:31] I've seen none of them.

[54:32] I still believe Out of Africa might just be a movie poster that kids see.

[54:35] It may not be real.

[54:36] Like, I don't want to watch that.

Dan McCoy

[54:37] It shows up on the box office game pretty frequently.

[54:40] I'm like, oh, this was a hit.

[54:41] It was in the top five for a long time.

Elliott Kalan

[54:43] For a long time.

[54:44] I've never seen it.

[54:44] Don't know anything about it.

[54:46] So, Dan, which one are you going to choose?

Dan McCoy

[54:49] By default, I'm going to choose the one I've seen, Tom Jones, which I think is a pretty

[54:53] good movie.

Stuart Wellington

[54:54] All right.

[54:54] Stuart?

[54:54] I'm going to pick Cimarron, because it makes me think of Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron, a movie

[54:59] I have not seen either, but I remember the name.

Elliott Kalan

[55:03] And you know what?

[55:04] I'm just going to pick Out of Africa, because I don't think I'm ever going to see it.

[55:07] So, I'll just throw it in there.

[55:08] I'm sorry.

Dan McCoy

[55:08] We're all out of Africa.

Elliott Kalan

[55:10] Oh, shit.

[55:11] I just want a little bit.

[55:12] Can you just check in the back?

Stuart Wellington

[55:13] We're doing that shit for the podcast at some point.

[55:15] We talked about it too much now.

[55:16] That was weird.

[55:17] That we'll watch Out of Africa.

Dan McCoy

[55:19] That would be a fun.

[55:19] That might be a fun.

[55:20] Someone's going to Sam Goody.

[55:21] They wanted to get the single for Toto's Africa.

[55:23] Oh, we're all out of Africa.

Stuart Wellington

[55:24] That might be a fun Flop TV season of Best Picture Winners None of Us Have Seen Yet.

[55:30] Honestly.

[55:30] That'd be a great idea.

[55:31] Pretty good.

[55:31] I should do it.

Elliott Kalan

[55:32] That's a good one for flops.

[55:33] Bob's Bridge Theater, it's the non-flops.

[55:34] Yeah.

[55:35] All right.

[55:35] You heard it here first.

[55:36] Let's do that.

[55:37] Stuart, don't forget that idea.

[55:37] That's a good idea.

[55:39] Okay.

[55:39] We only got two categories left.

[55:40] It's a long night.

[55:41] I know.

[55:42] It's a long ceremony.

[55:43] Okay.

[55:43] This category.

[55:44] Best Picture You Probably Forgot One Best Picture.

[55:47] Oh.

[55:47] And the nominees are The English Patient, Driving Miss Daisy, Ordinary People, Gigi, and Slumdog

[55:55] Millionaire.

[55:56] These are movies you may have forgotten one best picture.

Dan McCoy

[55:58] I thought you were going to put the artist in there.

Elliott Kalan

[56:00] Oh, the artist may show up.

[56:02] Okay.

[56:03] And so, which one of these is the best picture you probably forgot one best picture?

[56:10] Wait.

[56:10] Same again.

[56:11] Again, the nominees are The English Patient, Driving Miss Daisy, Ordinary People, Gigi, and

[56:18] Slumdog Millionaire.

[56:20] Have you guys, you guys have seen at least some of these movies, right?

[56:22] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[56:22] Yes.

[56:23] I've seen, I think I've seen Slumdog Millionaire and Driving Miss Daisy and like, I guess, scenes

[56:30] from Gigi.

[56:30] I don't think.

Elliott Kalan

[56:31] And you've never seen, you never saw The English Patient?

Dan McCoy

[56:33] Yeah.

[56:33] I'm surprised.

[56:33] Never saw The English Patient.

Elliott Kalan

[56:35] I would figure you were the right age at the time to just see every movie that was coming

[56:38] out.

Dan McCoy

[56:38] Yeah.

[56:38] That just seemed like, it just, that was like.

[56:41] It was really long.

[56:42] Miramax, like, I don't know, prestige.

[56:44] I saw that movie in the theaters.

Elliott Kalan

[56:46] This happens sometimes.

[56:47] Yeah.

[56:47] When I listen to Blank Check and they're doing the box office game and movies will come

[56:50] and they're like, I don't know what that is.

[56:51] And it'll be like, I remember seeing that movie in the theaters.

[56:53] Oh, yeah.

[56:53] I know that.

[56:54] They were talking about the movie Pure Luck.

Stuart Wellington

[56:55] Ray Fiennes lets it hang out.

[56:58] Pure Luck.

[56:58] They were talking about Pure Luck.

[57:00] And they were like, we don't know what that.

[57:01] I'm like, what is this?

[57:01] Pure Luck.

Elliott Kalan

[57:02] I'm like, Pure Luck.

[57:03] I saw it when it was in the movie.

[57:04] An American classic.

[57:05] No, no.

[57:05] I mean, I didn't laugh once the entire movie.

Stuart Wellington

[57:07] Yeah.

[57:08] You're yelling at your phone.

Elliott Kalan

[57:11] So, what's your vote?

[57:13] You got a vote for something?

Dan McCoy

[57:15] I don't really like Slumdog Millionaire.

[57:18] I would go so far as to say I don't like it.

[57:20] Well, the Academy disagrees.

Elliott Kalan

[57:21] It said it was the best movie released that year.

[57:23] Let me look up what movies it beat.

[57:25] What movies is it objectively better than, according to the Academy?

[57:28] Let's see.

[57:29] I think.

[57:30] Oh, actually, that was a weak year.

[57:31] Okay, the other nominees that year for Best Picture were The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,

[57:34] which is not a good movie.

[57:35] Ugh, dog shit.

[57:36] The Reader, a movie I fell asleep during.

[57:39] Milk, good movie.

[57:40] And Frost Nixon's, which is good but not great.

[57:42] It should have been, if those nominees, I would have given it to Milk.

[57:44] I think Milk would be the best of them.

Dan McCoy

[57:45] What was the last one you said?

[57:46] I'm sorry.

[57:46] Frost Nixon.

[57:47] Oh, no.

[57:47] Which I think is fine.

[57:48] It's okay.

[57:49] No, I think that movie sucks.

[57:50] I think that movie sucks.

[57:51] I think it's really weird how they're like doing all these like fake documentary interviews with the actors

[57:57] playing characters.

[57:58] I hate that shit.

[57:59] But no, Milk is very good.

Elliott Kalan

[58:00] So would you rather, instead of doing this category, would you rather vote, what was your,

[58:04] what do you think was the best picture?

[58:05] I'll vote for Milk.

[58:05] Can I vote for that?

[58:06] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[58:06] Let's look at what.

[58:07] Let's say of the top five movies of that year, 2008.

[58:13] Let's see.

[58:14] What was, that was the year that, oh, you know what?

[58:16] But it would have been the previous year, right?

[58:17] Because Slumdog Millionaire did come out in 2007.

[58:20] I always get mixed up because it's like the year is really the, no, it came out in 2008.

[58:23] Anyway, that was the year that everyone was mad that The Dark Knight was not nominated for best picture.

[58:27] Okay.

[58:28] I mean.

[58:29] So let's say, instead, let's go to what's the best movie of 2008 according to the highest grossing films?

[58:35] Number one through five.

[58:36] Number one, The Dark Knight.

[58:37] Number two, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

[58:40] Wow.

[58:41] Second most profitable movie of the year.

[58:43] Three, Kung Fu Panda.

[58:45] Four, Hancock.

Dan McCoy

[58:46] And five, Mamma Mia.

[58:48] So you got to pick.

[58:49] So you can either choose from all the original nominees or from those.

Stuart Wellington

[58:52] Mamma Mia might get in there.

Dan McCoy

[58:54] Yeah, no, I knew that was a dark horse for you, Stuart.

[58:57] Which is what the Dark Knight ride.

Elliott Kalan

[59:01] And I'm going to say from the original nominees, I think I'm going to say, I might say the English patient, to be honest.

[59:07] Maybe ordinary people.

[59:08] Nah, I think the English patient.

[59:10] But yes.

Stuart Wellington

[59:11] I feel like, actually, I would probably say ordinary people is the one that I forget won.

Dan McCoy

[59:16] I am sure that the racial politics would horrify me now.

[59:20] I remember when I saw Driving Miss Daisy as a kid, it was a sweet, funny movie with two really strong performances in it.

Elliott Kalan

[59:29] I will say, when I was putting this category together, the two that I forgot the most won Best Picture were Driving Miss Daisy and Slumdog Millionaire.

[59:35] I was like, Driving Miss Daisy won Best Picture?

[59:37] I forgot about that.

[59:38] Whereas, I always remember that Gigi did because I think it's the year that Vertigo would have –

[59:42] Because you're like, what the fuck is Gigi?

[59:44] It would have been nominated that year if it was nominated.

[59:47] And I'm like, oh, Vertigo is such a more amazing movie, you know?

Dan McCoy

[59:50] Yeah.

[59:51] And it's less about how you should thank heaven for little girls.

Elliott Kalan

[59:55] Yes, exactly.

[59:56] You should not thank heaven for little girls unless you're the father of a little girl, in which case, thank heaven for that little sweetie pie.

[1:00:01] You know what?

[1:00:03] I forgot it was Bruce Beresford who directed Driving Miss Daisy.

[1:00:06] You guys have seen Breaker Morant, right?

[1:00:07] What a movie.

[1:00:08] That movie's good.

[1:00:09] No, no.

[1:00:09] What's it about?

[1:00:10] A guy named Breaker Morant?

[1:00:12] Well, there is a guy named Breaker Morant.

[1:00:14] But it's about these three soldiers in – Australian soldiers fighting in the Boer War are being scapegoated for a massacre, I think.

[1:00:22] And they're on court martial.

[1:00:23] And it's the guy – their lawyer is trying to prove why they're not – why they couldn't have done it when they're responsible.

[1:00:28] It's really good.

[1:00:30] So, yeah.

[1:00:30] That's my – we don't do recommendations on the minis, but I guess my recommendation today is –

[1:00:33] Breaker Morant.

[1:00:34] Yeah.

[1:00:35] If you're a dad, you're going to love Breaker Morant.

[1:00:37] It's a good dad movie.

[1:00:38] Historical.

[1:00:39] It's kind of a war movie, kind of not a war movie.

[1:00:41] All Australian.

[1:00:42] Okay.

[1:00:43] Finally.

[1:00:44] Oh, this is it, guys.

[1:00:45] We're up to the – this is the final category of the night.

[1:00:47] This is the biggest one, the one all of Hollywood is waiting for.

[1:00:49] Okay.

[1:00:50] Holding their breath.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:50] We're all like kind of tired and a little loopy.

[1:00:53] Exactly.

[1:00:54] The band's just ready to play them off.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:56] This is Best, Best Picture.

[1:00:58] All the movies named Best Picture are the best movie of the year, chosen by the Academy Awards.

[1:01:01] So, by definition, the winner of Best, Best Picture would be the greatest movie of all time.

[1:01:07] Okay.

[1:01:08] And your nominees are Argo, Crash, The Artist, Green Book, Coda, and Birdman.

[1:01:16] What is the Best, Best Picture?

[1:01:18] These are all Best Picture winners.

[1:01:19] Which one of them is the greatest movie of all time?

Dan McCoy

[1:01:21] I'm going to go with Coda because it's the one of those that doesn't like just actively make me kind of angry in some way.

[1:01:27] It's not the Best Picture that was put out that year.

[1:01:31] I guarantee you.

[1:01:32] But it's a sweet little movie.

[1:01:35] You know, it made me feel good.

[1:01:37] So, I'll say Coda.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:38] I mean, I feel like Argo, at least, is like kind of a tense, like thriller.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:43] It's disqualified for me for like how many times they say Argo, fuck yourself, as if it's the funniest joke.

[1:01:48] As if it's a hilarious catchphrase.

[1:01:49] And if you say it more and more, it'll only get funnier.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:54] But yeah, I think I have to pick that because yeah, that's the one I don't actively hate.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:59] Yeah, okay.

[1:02:00] Well, I think I am going, I think I would also pick Argo, a movie I thought was fine compared to the other ones.

[1:02:06] I think Coda is fine.

[1:02:07] I think it's a good, like you're saying, it's a good little movie.

[1:02:09] The Artist is not a bad movie.

[1:02:11] The Artist is a fun little movie.

[1:02:13] What movie?

[1:02:13] What's it called?

[1:02:14] It's called The Artist.

[1:02:15] It's a mostly silent film starring a French actor.

[1:02:18] There's a dog in it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:19] It's a movie, right?

[1:02:20] It is a movie.

[1:02:21] A lot of people forget it exists.

[1:02:23] And it's, I can like, it was nominated for an Academy Award?

[1:02:27] Yeah, you can watch it on all major platforms probably.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:30] It was not only nominated for an Academy Award, it won Best Picture.

[1:02:33] Best Picture of the Year.

[1:02:34] It's called The Artist?

[1:02:35] It's called The Artist.

[1:02:36] Okay, if you say so.

[1:02:37] So, I think, yeah, I think I also, I didn't, originally I wasn't planning to vote in any of these.

[1:02:43] So, like, I was like, hey, hey, hey, I'm going to make Dan and Stuart vote for one of these movies.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:47] This category sucks.

[1:02:48] It reminds me of things that are bad and I hate.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:51] Yep, yep.

[1:02:52] And so, I think we're going to, yeah, I'll throw my weight behind Argo too, I guess.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:57] What did, what did, what did, can you pull up real quick what Argo beat out?

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:01] Yes.

[1:03:02] So, I'll tell you what Argo beat out.

[1:03:04] Let's see.

[1:03:04] It was, let me look at it real quick.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:08] And that was just a five movie year, right?

[1:03:11] It was a big ten movie year.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:12] It was a ten movie year.

[1:03:13] Oh, shit, okay.

[1:03:14] 2012, Argo was up against Amor.

[1:03:15] I haven't seen that.

[1:03:16] Uh-huh.

[1:03:17] Beasts of the Southern Wild.

[1:03:18] Okay.

[1:03:19] Django Unchained.

[1:03:20] Okay.

[1:03:21] Life of Pi.

[1:03:22] Okay.

[1:03:23] Lincoln.

[1:03:24] Okay.

[1:03:25] Les Mis.

[1:03:26] Okay.

[1:03:27] Silver Linings Playbook.

[1:03:28] Yep.

[1:03:29] And Zero Dark Thirty.

[1:03:30] Okay.

[1:03:31] I've seen.

[1:03:31] This is not a strong year.

[1:03:32] Yeah, I've seen very few of those movies.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:34] I would go with Lincoln from those.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:36] I honestly would probably go with Silver Linings Playbook.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:39] Yeah, that's another one I like.

[1:03:40] Yeah.

[1:03:41] Two really strong ones.

[1:03:42] Oh, man.

[1:03:42] Fucking Coda won over Power of the Dog.

[1:03:44] That's some bullshit.

[1:03:45] That's fucking crazy.

[1:03:46] Well, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:46] Looking at the Coda year.

[1:03:48] So it's Coda won.

[1:03:49] Coda was up against Belfast, which is great.

[1:03:52] Don't Look Up.

[1:03:53] Drive My Car.

[1:03:54] Yeah.

[1:03:55] King Richard, Licorice Pizza, Nightmare Alley, The Power of the Dog, and West Side Story.

[1:03:59] And I would probably give it to either Belfast or The Power of the Dog.

[1:04:02] I really liked Belfast a lot.

[1:04:03] P of the D fucking rocks.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:05] Yeah.

[1:04:05] I mean, I also, I mean, I know that you have fun.

[1:04:08] Dude is good.

[1:04:08] I like West Side Story a lot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:10] I still haven't seen Drive My Car.

[1:04:12] Drive My Car is really good.

[1:04:15] I should see it, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:16] Again, no spoilers, but they do drop the fucking credits 45 minutes into the movie.

[1:04:22] That's fucking crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:23] Just like RRR.

[1:04:24] And I genuinely despised Licorice Pizza.

[1:04:27] Wow.

[1:04:28] And so I'm glad that didn't win.

[1:04:29] But, because I didn't like it that much.

[1:04:31] But, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:32] And you know what?

[1:04:33] Like, there's some really good stuff in West Side Story.

[1:04:36] Yeah, there is.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:37] There's some great stuff in West Side Story.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:38] I think it was heard by the fact that.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:40] You got to swap in someone that's not Ansel Elgort for it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:42] I think West Side Story is heard a little bit by the fact that West Side Story already won

[1:04:46] Best Picture in the 1960s.

[1:04:48] There's already a West Side Story.

[1:04:49] But, again, there's two Godfather wins.

[1:04:50] So, who knows?

[1:04:51] Well, anyway, so we've established Argo is the greatest movie of all time.

[1:04:55] Best Best Picture winner.

[1:04:56] That's the end of our show.

[1:04:58] I want to thank so many people.

[1:04:59] I want to thank my co-hosts, Dan and Stu, for giving us their unvarnished opinions on some movies they've seen and some movies they haven't seen.

[1:05:06] I want to thank our producer, Alex Smith, who has hopefully edited in some music and applause and things like that.

[1:05:11] So this sounds real professional.

[1:05:12] I want to thank everyone over at Maximum Fun.

[1:05:14] That's our network.

[1:05:15] Maximum Fun.

[1:05:15] There's a lot of great other podcasts.

[1:05:17] Check them out.

[1:05:17] And I want to thank – oh, there's so many people.

[1:05:19] Thank you, the listeners.

[1:05:20] Thank you for listening.

[1:05:21] Oh, they're starting to play more often.

[1:05:22] I want to thank my agent, Chris, my managers, Tucker and Evan.

[1:05:24] Of course, my beautiful wife and my sons.

[1:05:26] Boys, I love you.

[1:05:27] You can go to bed now, okay?

[1:05:28] You don't have to stay up any longer.

[1:05:30] That's it for us.

[1:05:31] This has been a Flophouse Mini.

[1:05:32] And join us next week when we'll be talking about a different bad movie.

[1:05:35] Goodbye, everybody.

[1:05:36] Goodbye, everybody.

FH Mini 146 – Best of the Best (Pictures)

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