The Flop House: Episode #64 - Repo Men

Dan McCoy

[0:00] In this episode, we discuss Repo Men.

[0:03] Twice the Repo Men of Repo Man.

[0:06] One billionth as good a movie.

Elliott Kalan

[0:30] The Repo Men of Repo Man.

Dan McCoy

[1:00] Flop House.

[1:02] Flop House.

[1:06] Flop House.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07] It was like that scene when the weird guys in Dark Crystal all start mooning at the same pitch.

[1:15] We were a lot like that, I think.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17] Okay, so what's going on?

[1:18] What are we doing here?

Stuart Wellington

[1:20] I kind of wish I did, though.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22] There was a woman at Comic-Con with a really good Skeksis costume.

[1:26] That's pretty awesome.

[1:27] Was it like a hot Skeksis?

[1:28] No.

Stuart Wellington

[1:30] I find that hard to believe.

[1:31] Usually when I think of a Skeksis costume, I think of a really hot chick in a bikini.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36] Of the wrinkly lizard rat birds.

[1:39] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[1:40] With voluminous robes to cover their hideous bodies.

Dan McCoy

[1:43] Yes.

[1:44] At least it wasn't like a sexy gelfling, because that would be like a prepubescent child.

[1:48] That's like an Elf Quest comic.

[1:49] That's redundant.

[1:50] Yeah.

[1:51] They are like the creepy drawings of a pedophile.

Stuart Wellington

[1:54] What do you think we're getting Elliot for his bachelor party?

[1:58] A gelfling stripper?

[1:59] Yeah, doy.

[2:01] Oh, it's ruined now.

Elliott Kalan

[2:01] When I was a kid, I was always creeped out by the gelflings, because I thought they looked

[2:05] too much like Michael Jackson.

[2:09] Prescient.

Dan McCoy

[2:10] Anyhoo.

[2:11] Anyhoo.

[2:12] Anyhoo.

[2:14] Anyhoo.

[2:15] We should take this on the road, guys.

[2:16] Oh, man.

[2:17] The new singing group.

Elliott Kalan

[2:18] Yeah, the new singing group that just does one-note songs that have one word.

Stuart Wellington

[2:23] Inspired by the Three Stooges.

[2:25] Yeah.

[2:25] Well, we can jam a lot of tracks into a set.

Elliott Kalan

[2:28] That's true.

[2:29] And one CD could have about a hundred tracks.

[2:31] Yeah.

[2:32] So we don't want to talk about the movie this week, do we?

[2:34] Because I know I don't.

Dan McCoy

[2:36] No, we took a little vacation, and it did not refresh our batteries.

[2:40] It made us angrier that we had to watch a bad movie.

Elliott Kalan

[2:43] Well, I don't know about angrier, but I was in California for two weeks.

[2:47] It was very pleasant.

[2:48] Then I had to come back to this.

Dan McCoy

[2:50] Mm-hmm.

[2:50] And I was sick, and it wasn't pleasant.

[2:53] And I'm regaining my strength, and I had to suffer through this.

[2:58] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[2:58] And I was on a long sabbatical.

[3:01] Yeah?

[3:01] From life?

[3:02] From having fun.

[3:04] Yeah.

[3:06] Yep.

[3:07] Enough of that.

[3:08] Like a suck-battical.

[3:09] No.

[3:10] Man, you didn't lose it.

[3:11] You still got it, Elliot.

[3:12] I love that shit.

[3:14] Professional comedy writer, Elliot Kalin.

[3:16] Mm-hmm.

[3:16] Okay.

[3:17] So let me refresh our listeners, if they've forgotten.

[3:20] What we do is we, the three of us, get together on an evening, usually during the week, because

[3:26] that's what fits best with you guys' schedule.

[3:29] Okay.

[3:29] We get a cup.

[3:30] That's a little more information than they need.

[3:31] Chill out.

[3:32] Okay.

[3:32] We get a cup.

[3:33] Dan and I get some drinks.

[3:34] Elliot gets a shitload of Popeyes.

[3:36] Yeah.

[3:36] We have our various, you know, yeah.

[3:41] We watch a movie that is available on either DirecTV, watch it now, or DVD, or some shit.

Dan McCoy

[3:48] I don't think the format really plays in.

Stuart Wellington

[3:50] I'm explaining it.

[3:51] I think it's important.

Elliott Kalan

[3:51] How big do you think the television is?

[3:53] I don't know.

[3:54] It's like a 32-inch?

Dan McCoy

[3:55] It's pretty small.

[3:56] 32-inch.

[3:56] It's like a...

[3:57] It's meager.

[3:58] It's a 42-inch.

[3:59] Really?

[4:00] I think so.

Stuart Wellington

[4:01] I don't think you could afford a 42-inch, Dan.

[4:03] All right.

[4:04] So we watch a movie.

[4:06] 5.1 stereo sound.

[4:07] That's true.

[4:08] The sound is pretty incredible.

[4:09] Yeah.

[4:10] So we watch this movie.

[4:12] Usually it's a movie that has been...

[4:13] With our eyes.

[4:14] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[4:15] It bounces off the TV...

[4:15] It is emitted from the TV screen and enters our retina.

[4:18] There's rods and cones involved somehow.

[4:20] Thanks, Merlin, for explaining it to me.

[4:23] Merlin, the eye scientist.

Stuart Wellington

[4:27] Yeah.

[4:28] Isn't that what he taught him in Sword in the Stone?

[4:30] Oh, maybe he did.

[4:31] Yeah.

[4:31] So we watch a movie, usually one that Dan picks out and forces the other, you know,

[4:37] Elliot and me to watch.

[4:38] At gunpoint.

[4:39] Yeah.

[4:39] And he's like, I have to watch this movie.

[4:41] I've been waiting to watch it.

[4:43] So we watch this movie.

[4:46] And then we talk about it, which is what we're about to do.

[4:49] The movie this week...

[4:50] Unless we can procrastinate a little bit longer.

[4:53] Wait, wait, wait.

[4:53] The movie this week is Repo Man.

[4:56] Repo Man.

[4:57] Repo Man.

[4:58] Repo Man.

[5:00] Okay, so...

[5:01] And it is crappy.

[5:02] So when you see the title Repo Man, you usually think of what?

[5:06] Elliot, go.

[5:07] The movie Repo Man.

[5:08] Okay, Dan, go.

[5:09] The movie Repo Man.

[5:10] Stuart, go.

[5:12] Repo the genetic opera.

[5:13] Oh, wow.

[5:15] Curveball.

[5:16] Well...

[5:16] That's strange.

[5:17] But don't worry about it.

[5:18] Let's go.

Elliott Kalan

[5:18] This movie combines elements from all of those, except for Repo Man.

[5:22] Okay.

[5:23] It is the story of Jude Law, a genetic Repo guy.

[5:29] The actor.

[5:29] Genetic.

[5:30] The actor.

[5:31] Now, this is the future, where for some reason, Toronto seems to be part of America.

[5:38] There was a war of some kind.

[5:39] And now Jude Law is a veteran whose job is to retrieve organ machines, the kind of scientifically

[5:48] designed organs that people have bought to replace their malfunctioning organs and now

[5:53] cannot pay the price for.

[5:55] They can't keep up their payments.

[5:57] So they send out the Repo Man.

Dan McCoy

[5:58] Yeah, you get on some kind of like a contract plan.

Elliott Kalan

[6:00] Yes.

[6:01] So they send out the Repo Man, when you're behind payment, to cut open your belly and

[6:06] take the organs back.

Dan McCoy

[6:07] These are predatory lenders, is what you're saying.

[6:11] They are the predatoriest of lenders.

Stuart Wellington

[6:12] It's similar to if you get a cell phone contract and you fail to pay and then some dude cuts

[6:18] your ears off.

[6:19] Oh, wow.

[6:20] What cell phone company does that?

[6:23] I think it's Verizon.

[6:24] Oh, okay.

[6:26] Ooh.

Elliott Kalan

[6:28] Telling commentary.

[6:29] Jude Law seems mostly untroubled by this work that he does.

[6:33] His wife hates it.

[6:35] But he and his partner, Forrest Whitaker, who were also veterans from the same war together

[6:41] and were friends as kids.

Dan McCoy

[6:43] Yeah, it seems like one or the other would have done for the screenwriters.

[6:46] Apparently they both enlisted.

Elliott Kalan

[6:48] Apparently it was like a Civil War enlistment or World War I enlistment where you could all

[6:51] go in a group and they'd put a whole unit together from the same town.

Stuart Wellington

[6:54] They spent all their money on special effects.

[6:57] They couldn't spend their money on additional characters in the story.

[7:00] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[7:02] The two of them are partners.

[7:03] They're repo men.

[7:04] Forrest Whitaker is a little too overeager.

[7:07] Likes cutting people's bellies open.

[7:09] But Jude Law, while getting a repo...

[7:15] What exactly happened to him?

[7:16] I don't even remember anymore.

Dan McCoy

[7:18] The defibrillator malfunctioned and his own heart got tapped.

Elliott Kalan

[7:22] And he got blown up.

[7:23] He had to get a new replacement heart.

[7:25] Now he owes money to the company.

[7:27] His life is falling apart.

[7:28] His wife has kicked him out of the house.

[7:30] Yep.

[7:30] And he decides that it's time to take action.

[7:35] Now...

[7:35] This involves hanging out in broken down buildings for about 40 hours.

Dan McCoy

[7:39] But it also involves falling in love with a girl who has like 80 organs that have been replaced.

Stuart Wellington

[7:47] You would think that when they tried to give her a credit check, they would find out that she is unable to pay for the organs she already has.

[7:54] Well, that's the thing.

Elliott Kalan

[7:55] They don't really do much of a credit check because they figure they can cut up those organ default payments and sell them as investments to pension plans and things like that.

[8:06] Then if those things are defaulted, the government will swoop in and pay for them.

[8:11] What I think is interesting...

[8:12] Crescent.

Stuart Wellington

[8:13] It's a crescent movie.

[8:14] They also point out that there's a number of characters throughout the movie, not to skip ahead, that have black market organs.

[8:22] Yes.

[8:23] Under what right does this other company...

[8:26] How can they swoop in and just cut out black market organs?

[8:29] That doesn't make sense to me.

Elliott Kalan

[8:30] It might be that it's their property that's been taken from them.

[8:34] Okay.

[8:35] I think that's part of it.

Stuart Wellington

[8:36] And like jailbroken or whatever.

[8:41] You know, that's to jailbreak something when you like...

Dan McCoy

[8:44] If somebody has an eye...

[8:45] You're saying that you want to run third-party apps on your heart?

[8:49] Yeah, absolutely.

[8:50] If you want to do that.

[8:51] You want to jack it up like the heart and crank two, for instance?

[8:55] Yes, precisely.

Elliott Kalan

[8:56] So anyway, he's on the run with this girl.

[8:59] They have a series of stupid plans that don't help them.

[9:03] Forrest Whitaker is sent by their boss, Liev Schreiber, to go track Jude Law down and get his heart back.

[9:10] And in the end, they go to the main building where the headquarters of the company is.

[9:18] And they kill like a bazillion people.

[9:21] And then blow it up.

[9:22] And then Jude Law is on a sunny beach with his girl.

[9:27] He's a famous author now.

[9:29] His friend is there with him.

[9:30] It looks like he's perfectly content and everything worked out.

[9:33] Right?

[9:34] Mm-hmm.

[9:34] That's what it seems like.

[9:36] Uh-oh.

[9:37] Then they stole the end from Brazil.

[9:39] And it turns out a fake reality is being fed into his brain while he's in a comatose state.

[9:47] And in reality, everything's bad.

Dan McCoy

[9:48] In a fight earlier in the film, his brain got damaged.

[9:54] He's Dane-bramaged.

[9:55] Yeah.

[9:56] Well, but he's nerving, though.

[9:59] But Forrest Whitaker put this, like, matrix in his...

[10:01] All I'm saying is, he's not as thick as you drunk he is.

[10:06] He's with stupid.

[10:08] Who is himself.

[10:09] But, uh...

[10:10] Yeah, no.

[10:11] Forrest Whitaker...

[10:12] What are you guys talking about?

Elliott Kalan

[10:14] Haven't you ever been to a county fair?

[10:15] Come on.

[10:17] What?

[10:18] You know, where they sell t-shirts?

Dan McCoy

[10:20] Forrest Whitaker takes pity on him in the only way he can and puts him into a beautiful dream.

[10:26] And his girl, I guess, gets killed off screen.

Elliott Kalan

[10:30] They're just going to take her organs back out.

[10:31] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[10:32] Which is exactly, again, like Brazil.

[10:34] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[10:35] It's just they do a great job of kind of, like, bringing you back down to reality.

[10:39] Oh, yeah.

[10:40] Spoilers for Brazil, by the way.

[10:42] Because, like, I mean, we're just always being...

[10:45] We're always being fed these Hollywood endings where everything works out right in the end.

[10:49] But this movie kind of tells us the real way things are in this world.

[10:54] Except the real...

[10:54] With fake organs.

Elliott Kalan

[10:55] The Hollywood ending now is the, like, surprise, things are bad.

[10:59] Yeah.

[10:59] Like, that's become such a cliche.

[11:02] Like, when Brazil did it, I'm sure it was, you know, frightening.

[11:05] Like in, uh...

Stuart Wellington

[11:07] Like in Carrie, where the hand bursts out of the dirt and you're like, whoa!

[11:11] That is a dream.

Dan McCoy

[11:12] It's earlier than Brazil.

Stuart Wellington

[11:14] Or Jurassic Park.

[11:17] I don't think there is a twist ending in Jurassic Park.

[11:19] I thought there was dinosaurs still.

[11:20] It just ends with them flying off the...

[11:21] Flying away from the island.

[11:22] It's like dinosaurs hanging out.

[11:23] Like, still alive.

[11:24] They are, but they're not...

Elliott Kalan

[11:25] There's not a twist.

[11:27] They've escaped.

Stuart Wellington

[11:27] Oh, I thought they killed all the dinosaurs.

[11:30] No.

[11:30] I don't know about what...

[11:32] They just helicopter out of there.

[11:33] Maybe I was thinking of the movie...

[11:34] They leave the dinosaurs behind.

[11:35] Is that the movie Carnosaur?

Elliott Kalan

[11:36] You think of Carnosaur, where they kill the dinosaurs and they go, yeah, we did it.

[11:40] And then the government troops bust in and kill all the heroes.

[11:43] Because no one can know about it.

[11:44] I thought that was Return of the Living Dead.

[11:46] Return of the Living Dead is similar, where...

[11:48] Wow, we were just spoiling everything.

[11:49] The army decides...

[11:50] But are there dinosaurs in that?

[11:52] I wish it was Return of the Living Dead dinosaurs.

[11:54] That would be awesome.

[11:55] I'd love to see a zombie dinosaur movie.

[11:57] Oh, that sounds great.

[11:57] I guess the closest thing to that is Night at the Museum.

[12:00] There's a zombie dinosaur in that?

[12:02] There's a dinosaur skeleton that's running around trying to eat somebody.

Stuart Wellington

[12:04] Is there a cowboy riding on that?

[12:06] There should be, if there isn't.

[12:08] A zombie cowboy or a regular cowboy?

[12:09] No, a regular cowboy.

[12:10] Okay.

[12:11] And can he control dust devils and swarm his enemies?

Elliott Kalan

[12:15] I don't think so.

[12:16] That's too bad.

[12:17] I don't think any cowboy could ever do that.

Stuart Wellington

[12:19] Like an Aromancer?

[12:20] We'll talk about it later.

Dan McCoy

[12:21] I do think that...

[12:24] I was still a little surprised that the ending of this movie turned out to be so bleak.

[12:28] Since the rest of it seemed to be so incredibly dumb.

Elliott Kalan

[12:32] Well, that's the thing.

[12:32] The movie alternated between really hyper-stupid...

[12:37] Which, I mean, not hyper-stupid, like so stupid.

[12:39] But hyper-active and very fast and kind of fun but stupid.

[12:46] It alternated between that and super grim and super serious and dark and gritty.

[12:53] In a way that was very not good.

Dan McCoy

[12:55] Well, that was the thing.

[12:56] Like, for like the first 15 minutes, you're set up to think that this is going to be like

[13:00] a satire, like a dark comedy action film.

[13:05] And then as soon as...

[13:07] As Jude Law gets a conscience.

[13:09] As Jude Law gets a conscience.

[13:09] You know, it starts taking the concept seriously.

[13:12] And the concept is ridiculous on its face.

Elliott Kalan

[13:15] Well, just from the beginning, like, how did this company get permission to run this business?

[13:21] That's a good question.

[13:22] And also, I kept wondering during the movie and I kept saying, how do this many people

[13:27] need mechanical organs?

Stuart Wellington

[13:31] Yeah, because like, when Jude Law gets his fake heart put in, it starts like basically

[13:36] malfunctioning right away.

[13:37] Like, why would people get these mechanical organs if they don't make them like super-powered?

[13:42] That would explain it at least a little bit.

Elliott Kalan

[13:45] Yeah, and the organ transplants are...

[13:46] Maybe there was a line of dialogue somewhere that explained like why everyone needed new

[13:49] organs all of a sudden.

[13:51] But like, organ transplants are not that common a thing.

[13:54] There are a lot of them and there are not enough organs to go around.

[13:56] But like, they drive...

[13:58] They have a scanner gun that they can point at someone and it tells them if they have a fake

[14:02] organ in them.

[14:03] And they're driving down the street and it seems like everybody has one.

Dan McCoy

[14:05] Well, that was what was ridiculous to me.

[14:07] Not the fact that there were so many...

[14:09] And no one can pay for them.

[14:10] Organs.

[14:10] It was that the way these repo men work is that they don't get like a particular commission

[14:15] like, oh, Jimbo Jones is...

[14:19] He needs...

[14:20] Jimbo...

[14:20] Jimbo Jones?

[14:22] Yeah.

[14:22] The Simpsons?

[14:22] The Simpsons.

Stuart Wellington

[14:23] Yeah, you just make that up?

Elliott Kalan

[14:25] I'll just make up a name off the top of my head.

[14:27] Clark Kent has...

Dan McCoy

[14:29] Yeah, but say...

[14:30] Just make up a name.

Elliott Kalan

[14:31] Let's say a guy named George Washington.

Dan McCoy

[14:33] Whatever.

[14:34] All right.

[14:34] Say a guy named...

[14:37] Abraham Lincoln.

[14:38] Abraham Lincoln.

[14:39] Jesus Cristo.

[14:40] Let's say that...

[14:41] Has an organ.

[14:43] It's a little too ethnic for me.

[14:44] Abraham Lincoln is deadbeat on his payments.

Elliott Kalan

[14:48] Which at certain times in his life could have been possible.

[14:51] He was born into poverty.

[14:52] Yeah.

[14:52] You know, he kind of made it as a lawyer, but only after failing as a storekeeper.

[14:55] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[14:56] He didn't make enough money splitting rails.

[14:59] And so...

[14:59] You make almost no money splitting rails.

[15:02] Most of the time, you can get more money for a rail that hasn't been split.

Elliott Kalan

[15:05] Well, you gotta pay the rail company for ruining all their merchandise.

[15:08] But the point is, he can't pay...

[15:10] And all that money went to doing rails right up his nose.

[15:13] Right.

Dan McCoy

[15:14] And so they specifically send out repo men...

[15:17] And what a nose.

[15:18] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[15:18] Huge nose.

[15:19] It's a lot of coke he needs to fill up that schnoz.

Dan McCoy

[15:22] But there's a specific guy that they're after.

[15:24] So the repo men are sent out to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue to get back the organ.

[15:28] Just to name and address off the top of my head.

[15:31] But that makes sense to me.

[15:33] Yeah.

[15:33] Whereas, like...

[15:34] What does it say?

[15:34] They're just, like, cruising around with their, like, repo gun.

[15:37] And they're like, okay, let's scan these people.

[15:39] All right, that guy doesn't have an organ.

[15:41] Oh, that guy has an organ.

[15:42] We gotta get him.

Elliott Kalan

[15:42] And they have license to, at will, stop anyone and zap them with an electric dart gun and cut their bellies open.

[15:49] And leave them to die, basically.

Stuart Wellington

[15:51] More than anything, this future, the greatest, like, technological advancement is the advancement in scanning technology.

Elliott Kalan

[15:58] Yes, it can scan through thick flesh of human beings.

Stuart Wellington

[16:02] Yeah, which is uncommon.

[16:04] Uncommon nowadays for a scanner to work even when it's pressed up against the barcode, let alone...

Elliott Kalan

[16:09] And yet, cars, phones, everything else is almost exactly the same.

[16:14] Yeah, it's true.

Dan McCoy

[16:14] These repo guys, they could get more money just, like, patenting that scanning technology and selling it.

[16:20] They're like, to go to the organ.

Stuart Wellington

[16:22] And, I mean, now, granted, we've talked a little bit about this vision of the future that we're presented.

Dan McCoy

[16:27] Yes.

[16:27] This dystopian vision.

Stuart Wellington

[16:29] It's a unique vision of the future where almost everything is Asian-influenced.

[16:34] Big screens on buildings.

[16:35] It's raining a lot.

[16:36] Never seen that before.

[16:37] A bunch of blimps flying around.

[16:40] Lightly different clothing styles, but not enough so that you're actually like, oh, that looks weird.

[16:45] You're like, oh, that kind of looks cool.

[16:48] Yeah, there's a lot.

[16:49] Yeah, blimps.

[16:50] There's a lot of, like, fancy 3D and stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[16:54] Yeah, what you're saying is it's basically Blade Runner.

Stuart Wellington

[16:56] Yeah, it's Blade Runner.

[16:57] Or Back to the Future Part 2.

[16:59] Yeah.

[17:01] With hoverboards.

Elliott Kalan

[17:03] Except there's no hoverboards in this.

Dan McCoy

[17:05] You're saying that they went down to the store and they took a few, like, oh, I'll take a little Blade Runner.

[17:10] I'll take a little Brazil.

[17:11] A little Matrix at times.

Stuart Wellington

[17:11] A little bit of Minority Report.

[17:13] I'm going to steal a scene from Old Boy.

[17:16] Poorly and, like, forget what made that scene interesting.

[17:19] Yeah, really poorly steal it.

Elliott Kalan

[17:20] But it does feel like it's a mishmash of design choices that were made in other movies.

[17:27] Yeah.

[17:27] And there are a few parts where things look a little bit different and it's kind of neat.

[17:31] Like, when they break into the headquarters of the organ company, which I don't remember the name of.

[17:36] The Union?

[17:37] Oh, The Union.

[17:38] That's right.

[17:38] Which doesn't make sense.

[17:39] It's stupid.

[17:41] Because when you hear The Union, you don't think, oh, that's the name of a company.

[17:44] You think, oh, they're referring to the union they belong to, which they're not.

Dan McCoy

[17:49] Well, it's a coded political message.

[17:51] Against unions?

[17:52] Against unions.

[17:52] Really?

[17:53] Okay.

[17:53] Yeah.

[17:53] It's weird.

[17:54] Strike breakers.

[17:55] That's what they are.

Elliott Kalan

[17:57] They go into the headquarters.

[17:58] They go into the headquarters and they find the room where the people are actually making the organs.

[18:02] And it's this huge white room of people in the suits you wear when you're making computer chips.

[18:09] You know, like covers full body, blinding white hazmat suits.

[18:14] They're all sitting at individual tables just kind of making little movements with screws and things on these artificial organs.

[18:21] And it looks kind of...

[18:22] Organ grinders, they're called.

[18:23] They're grinding organs, yeah.

[18:24] There's little monkeys everywhere with cups of coins.

[18:27] Wow.

Dan McCoy

[18:28] That seems like that would not be sanitary.

Elliott Kalan

[18:31] Well, the monkeys are shaved.

[18:32] Okay.

[18:33] Fair enough.

[18:34] But that scene, that setup looks kind of neat.

[18:38] Yeah.

[18:39] But then they don't do anything with it and they just kind of throw it away.

Stuart Wellington

[18:41] I think I was reading Entertainment Weekly during that scene.

Elliott Kalan

[18:43] Yeah, I think you were complaining about the Green Lantern movie at that point.

[18:45] Yeah, it looks really stupid.

Stuart Wellington

[18:49] So...

[18:49] Something else about Repo Men.

[18:52] Dan, what did you think about the choice to have Jude Law as our star?

[18:57] Too much charisma?

[18:58] Well...

[19:00] Too much scene chewing?

Dan McCoy

[19:02] Yeah.

[19:02] His box office streak continues unabated.

[19:07] And the streak I'm talking about is the streak of bombs.

[19:09] Is the losing streak.

[19:11] What other bombs has he had recently?

[19:13] Well, I mean, you know, he was...

[19:14] Like, recently?

[19:15] I mean, he hasn't been given much chance to do...

[19:17] Like, he was in Alfie, of course.

[19:19] Oh, that didn't do well.

[19:21] Hilarious.

[19:21] The Sleuth remake did not do well.

[19:23] Ouch.

[19:25] What else?

[19:25] I can't even...

[19:26] It's a remake of a not very good movie.

Stuart Wellington

[19:27] What's that movie where Cameron Diaz goes to England and Kate Winslet goes to America?

[19:33] Oh, The Holiday.

Stuart Wellington

[19:33] Yeah, he was in that thing.

Dan McCoy

[19:34] Did that do well?

[19:36] I thought it did.

[19:36] It probably did okay, but I think it was, like, the least successful of that.

[19:40] He was in Sherlock Holmes.

[19:42] Oh.

[19:42] And I thought he was good in Sherlock Holmes.

[19:44] Yes.

[19:44] He was good in Sherlock Holmes.

[19:46] He was in AI.

[19:48] But that was years ago.

[19:49] That's a 10-year-old movie.

[19:50] I think the man...

[19:51] You're right about that.

[19:52] I think the man is not bad as a supporting actor.

[19:56] A robot?

Elliott Kalan

[19:56] He is good when he's a character that you are not supposed to identify with or necessarily

[20:00] even like.

[20:01] Like, talented Mr. Ripley, he's great in playing an asshole.

Dan McCoy

[20:06] Well, but, I mean, are we supposed to like him here?

[20:10] Like, he's a sociopathic killer.

Elliott Kalan

[20:10] We are because he has a change of heart and realizes what he did is wrong and we're supposed

[20:15] to want him to take down the system or some crap.

Stuart Wellington

[20:17] Yeah, I mean, I think part of the problem with this movie is they don't understand that

[20:21] the viewer does not identify with this guy at all.

[20:25] Yeah.

[20:26] Like, I'm going to refer to another crappy science fiction.

[20:30] I mean, Cold Stone Creamery told you to go out and kill people.

[20:34] We're not supposed to talk about the place I work, Dan.

[20:36] I'm sorry.

[20:37] So...

[20:38] You think you're going to get stalkers?

[20:39] No, I'm thinking about problems with my place of work.

[20:42] All right.

[20:42] So, um...

Elliott Kalan

[20:43] We talk about where I work all the time.

[20:46] I'd rather not talk about the...

[20:47] Here, one, imports.

Stuart Wellington

[20:49] Guys, um, so...

[20:50] Um, what I was going to say, though...

Elliott Kalan

[20:52] So, it's shady-o-rack.

[20:54] Anyway, you're saying...

Stuart Wellington

[20:55] What I was...

[20:55] Um, to compare it to, say, the movie Equilibrium, which is a totally stupid, silly, futuristic

[21:02] movie...

Elliott Kalan

[21:03] Based on a premise that makes no sense.

[21:05] Yes, it makes no sense at all.

Stuart Wellington

[21:06] On some level, at least you can identify with Christian Bale's character, because he's

[21:10] a guy who is, like, slowly discovering the world.

[21:14] Yeah.

[21:14] Like, he's not a sociopathic killer who's like, I'm a total asshole.

[21:18] Wait a minute.

[21:20] The people I'm hurting are just like me.

[21:22] Like, that's bullshit.

[21:23] Yeah.

[21:24] No person who's like that will have a change of heart.

[21:28] Um, so, yeah, I don't really...

[21:31] I can't really identify with...

Elliott Kalan

[21:31] It's similar to John Travolta's character in From Paris with Love, in that...

[21:35] Ha!

[21:36] In that we are supposed to...

[21:37] Go on.

[21:38] We're supposed to be charmed and fall for a character who is a jerk, who kills people for

[21:44] no reason, it seems.

[21:46] Does...

[21:46] And we can never really tell whether we're supposed to like him or whether we're supposed

[21:53] to even trust what he's saying, you know, like, it's...

[21:55] They...

[21:56] They...

[21:56] Both movies have set up a character who we're supposed to like them, I guess, because they

[22:00] kill people without...

[22:02] In, like, cool ways, but really they don't give us anything to glom onto, so we're left

[22:07] with just a guy running around doing crazy things that we don't approve of.

Dan McCoy

[22:11] So, Ali, you're saying we should like people who kill people in boring ways.

[22:16] I think that was what you're...

[22:18] I don't think that was the moral...

Elliott Kalan

[22:19] But I'm saying, like, when you see...

[22:20] If you see a movie...

[22:21] There are movies about killers where the audience identifies with the killer because

[22:25] the killer...

[22:26] There's a certain style about the movie or about the character or something that makes

[22:31] him charismatic to...

[22:32] Like the professional.

[22:33] Yeah, exactly.

[22:35] Like a lot of Hitman movies.

Stuart Wellington

[22:37] Like the movie Hitman.

Elliott Kalan

[22:38] Or like Gross Point Blank or something like that.

[22:39] Yeah, or the movie Hitman.

[22:43] Like where you're supposed to like the character despite his doing these things or because he

[22:49] can get away with things that the audience can't get away with but has fantasized about doing.

[22:54] Whereas here, we're not given those ropes to cut to hold onto, you know.

[22:58] We're given an unlikable guy doing unlikable things.

Stuart Wellington

[23:02] But I always wanted to electrocute a guy until they passed out and then cut their organs

[23:06] out.

Elliott Kalan

[23:07] I don't know if you should say that on a recording.

[23:10] Oops.

[23:11] Uh-oh.

Dan McCoy

[23:12] Yeah.

[23:13] This has been an elaborate FBI sting, Stuart.

[23:15] I'm busted.

[23:16] Swarm.

[23:16] Take him out.

Stuart Wellington

[23:17] Swarm?

[23:18] Wait, that's a code word?

Elliott Kalan

[23:20] Yeah.

[23:20] Swarm means stay back.

[23:21] Don't do anything yet.

[23:23] Okay, cool.

[23:23] And take him out means we're going to need more time.

Stuart Wellington

[23:26] So this movie appealed to me, Stuart, because it featured one of the members of the Wu-Tang

[23:35] clan of rappers, the RZA.

[23:39] Mm-hmm.

[23:39] Elliot?

[23:41] Yeah?

Elliott Kalan

[23:41] What?

[23:41] Not to be confused.

[23:42] What's going on with you?

[23:43] The JZA.

[23:46] I don't know what I'm supposed to say or what you want from me at this point.

Stuart Wellington

[23:49] No, I don't know.

[23:50] I was just changing up the conversation.

Elliott Kalan

[23:51] I know, and RZA was the most likable character in the entire movie.

[23:55] That's true.

[23:56] And the most charismatic performer in the entire movie.

[23:58] Although I have to admit, Forrest Whitaker had his moments.

Stuart Wellington

[24:00] Yep.

[24:01] Although I never quite understood why Forrest Whitaker didn't get a replacement eye for

[24:05] his one lazy eye.

[24:07] He can't afford it.

[24:08] In a world of replacement, he can't afford it.

[24:09] Interesting.

[24:10] He doesn't want to be repoed.

[24:11] That's true.

[24:12] Although I'd imagine he'd get some kind of corporate discount.

Elliott Kalan

[24:15] But apparently not enough, because Jude Law can't keep up with the payments on his heart.

Stuart Wellington

[24:17] I don't think it was the issue of payments that made him not want to keep up with it.

[24:21] I think it was on the principle, right?

Dan McCoy

[24:23] You know, I'm going to go out on a limb with your thing about likability and killing people

[24:29] and say that part of the problem with this movie is actually the fact that Jude Law did

[24:35] find a conscience.

[24:37] Because I found Elliot's doing a comical thing with his glasses.

Elliott Kalan

[24:42] I'm just rearranging my glasses while you're talking.

Dan McCoy

[24:44] I found Liev Schreiber more, maybe not like I would like to hang out with him in life,

[24:51] but more likable and enjoyable in this film because he had no conscience.

Elliott Kalan

[24:54] No, but Liev Schreiber had no conscience, but he also had panache.

[24:57] The way he said things was funny.

[24:59] Like, he had a personality and a style.

Stuart Wellington

[25:01] He seemed to be enjoying himself in the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[25:03] Yes, exactly.

[25:04] Unlike the other actors.

[25:07] And, yeah, that's true.

[25:09] Unlike anybody.

[25:10] Well, I think he was just like, this will pay for my time on Broadway.

[25:13] Oh, this is great.

Stuart Wellington

[25:14] This will pay for my time on Wolverine X-Men Origins Part 2.

Elliott Kalan

[25:20] Well, I assume they would pay him for that.

[25:22] Oh, no.

[25:23] That's a small budget role.

[25:26] A tiny little movie like that?

[25:28] It's a tiny movie that's actually about Sabretooth.

[25:31] Sabretooth is broken down.

[25:32] He's old.

[25:33] He's doing fights in small towns.

[25:35] You don't realize that Liev Schreiber...

[25:36] He's got to reconnect with his daughter.

Dan McCoy

[25:37] Liev Schreiber personally funded all of X-Men Origins Wolverine.

[25:40] I didn't realize that.

[25:42] That's the thing.

[25:42] It's very interesting.

Stuart Wellington

[25:43] Because the studios weren't interested.

Dan McCoy

[25:44] He saved up all his Broadway money.

Stuart Wellington

[25:46] Who's this Wolverine character?

Dan McCoy

[25:49] How would America...

[25:50] What would America think about this guy?

[25:52] Who's this huge Ackman that we're going to put in a movie?

[25:56] I've never heard of him.

Elliott Kalan

[25:58] But, no, but Liev Schreiber is...

[26:00] But he is the villain of the movie.

[26:02] Yeah.

[26:02] So it's like, you can like him because he's a villain with style.

[26:06] You know that you're not supposed to approve of him even if you like the personality.

[26:11] The man even dies with style.

[26:13] Yeah.

[26:13] He has one of the best deaths in the movie.

[26:15] But Jude Law you're supposed to sympathize with in some way.

[26:19] And I don't.

[26:20] You know, same with Silence of the Lambs.

[26:21] People like the Hannibal Lecter character because he's got charisma and he's...

[26:27] It's open that he's a monster.

[26:29] You're not supposed to think of him as a hero.

Stuart Wellington

[26:32] You know what, guys?

[26:33] Andy doesn't have any crazy sexual hang-ups.

Elliott Kalan

[26:37] I don't know where that came from.

Stuart Wellington

[26:39] That's where people draw the line with the serial killer.

[26:42] They think a serial killer is cool when he's like, kind of like smart and clever.

[26:47] Oh, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[26:47] But as soon as things start getting weird sexually...

[26:50] Buffalo Bill tucking his penis between his legs is not okay.

[26:54] Yeah.

[26:54] But Hannibal Lecter eating people is okay.

[26:57] Yeah.

[26:57] That's what I'm trying to say.

[26:58] Yeah.

[26:59] I think that's a good point.

Dan McCoy

[27:00] You know what, guys?

[27:02] I think I'm going to cut this short, shorter than usual.

[27:05] Okay.

[27:05] Because we've got so much to say.

[27:07] I know.

[27:07] I mean, this movie has totally captured the heart of what we're all about.

[27:12] We don't have a lot to say, but also, in lieu of talking about recommendations, I would like to get a live report.

[27:20] Well, not a live report.

[27:21] A much later report.

[27:22] I'm alive.

[27:23] About the San Diego Comic-Con from Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[27:28] You mean San Diego Comic-Con International?

[27:30] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[27:31] So, in order to give more time to that segment, I think we're going to wrap it up and give our final judgments on this.

[27:38] Final judgments.

[27:38] Okay.

[27:39] I was hoping for a little more debate.

[27:41] A bad, bad movie?

[27:42] Or a movie that you actually kind of liked?

[27:45] Stuart?

Stuart Wellington

[27:47] I think I'm going to go with bad, bad movie on this one.

[27:50] Mainly, more than anything, just because of the length.

[27:53] Yeah, it was also very long.

[27:54] If it wasn't so long, I might have at least been able to, you know, pay, like, read an entertainment weekly until there was a couple people getting shot and then enjoyed.

[28:06] No, that wasn't even good.

[28:07] They even used CGI for all the blood, which is really terrible.

[28:10] Yeah.

[28:11] Altogether, not a very good movie.

Dan McCoy

[28:13] Stuart, you know, corn syrup don't come cheap.

Stuart Wellington

[28:16] That's the thing.

[28:17] You're right.

Elliott Kalan

[28:18] It's much more expensive than computers.

Stuart Wellington

[28:21] It's much more expensive to have, like, to have somebody squirt blood off screen than to have some guy animate blood properly.

[28:29] Which they didn't in this movie, obviously.

Elliott Kalan

[28:31] No, it was very fake and bad.

[28:33] And they added it into scenes they didn't need it.

[28:35] There's one part, a person gets hit in the face with a gun butt, and they animated, like, drops of blood flying out of the general area of their nose.

[28:45] Totally unnecessary.

[28:46] I didn't need to see blood in that scene.

[28:48] Yeah.

[28:50] It's not like there's no...

Stuart Wellington

[28:51] I mean, I was hoping for blood.

[28:53] But it's not like if there wasn't blood, you'd be like, well, that's not realistic.

[28:57] Like, this scene isn't visceral enough for me.

Dan McCoy

[29:01] Are we to believe we live in some sort of universe where no one has any blood?

Stuart Wellington

[29:05] What is this, a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode?

[29:10] So, bad, bad movie from Stuart Daniel.

Dan McCoy

[29:12] I didn't say bad, bad movie.

[29:13] I said this as we were watching it.

[29:17] The first 15 minutes I thought, oh, you know, maybe I'll actually enjoy this movie.

[29:22] Because it moved along at a good clip.

[29:26] It had jokes.

[29:28] I mean, not great jokes, but it was like, okay, this movie knows what it is.

[29:31] It's a black comedy about people who take organs out of people's bodies.

[29:37] And that's, you know, that's not a bad premise for a movie, necessarily.

[29:43] But then it forgot that it was an exploitation movie.

[29:47] It got really grim.

[29:50] And people just sort of stood around for long periods of time.

[29:54] And then it got violent again at the end.

[29:57] But that was too little too late, friends.

Stuart Wellington

[30:00] It was like a less fun version of Babylon AD, the lost Flophouse movie.

Elliott Kalan

[30:05] Oh, you guys wish.

[30:06] If you thought this was an unfunny episode of the Flophouse, Flophouse listeners,

[30:10] you should have heard our Babylon AD episode.

[30:12] We thought that was the worst movie we had seen.

[30:14] Nope.

[30:16] I still think Whiteout is worse, though.

[30:18] I missed that one.

[30:18] I'd rather watch Repo Men than Whiteout.

[30:21] Okay.

[30:22] And I say bad, bad movie for the above reasons.

[30:25] Too long, too boring, badly made, too somber.

Stuart Wellington

[30:30] So, music.

[30:32] How is the music?

Elliott Kalan

[30:33] The music is a collection of pop standards.

[30:36] So it was actually, the soundtrack is fine.

Stuart Wellington

[30:38] Yep.

[30:39] Except for every single time a fight scene came on,

[30:41] somebody went to their tape deck and got stock action scene music,

[30:45] like fight scene music.

Elliott Kalan

[30:46] It would be like pretty good standard pop jazz or something like that.

[30:50] And then, yeah, like...

[30:52] Now we're going to have to pay royalties to the Repo Men composer.

Dan McCoy

[31:07] Repo Men?

[31:08] Repo Man?

[31:09] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[31:10] Repo Man?

[31:10] You mean the circle jerks?

[31:11] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[31:11] We're going to have to pay royalties to Black Flag.

[31:15] What, Jonathan Richman?

[31:18] Yeah.

[31:19] Anyway.

[31:20] So...

[31:21] The Modern Glovers?

[31:22] This is the...

Elliott Kalan

[31:25] Oh, it's Jonathan Richman and the Danny Glovers.

[31:27] Oh, no.

[31:28] Interesting.

Dan McCoy

[31:28] Yeah.

[31:29] This is the portion of the show where...

[31:30] I thought he was too old for that shit.

Elliott Kalan

[31:32] Well, he's still three days from retirement.

Dan McCoy

[31:35] This is the portion of the show where I...

[31:36] Let me try and say something.

[31:38] Let me say one thing off of Danny Glover being too old for this shit.

Elliott Kalan

[31:42] I was in San Francisco recently and I was ironing a pair of pants while my fiance went and did something else.

[31:48] Oh, this story's going to be great.

[31:49] And I turned on the TV because you want to watch TV while you're ironing pants.

[31:52] Sure.

[31:52] And Lethal Weapon 2 was on.

[31:54] I think it was 2.

[31:55] It's whichever one has...

[31:56] Danny Glover is sitting on the toilet and there's a bomb strapped to the toilet, 2.

[32:01] And so Mel Gibson goes in the house because he thinks there's danger, puts his gun around the corner.

[32:05] Oh, it's just Danny Glover on the toilet.

[32:07] Then it turns out there's a bomb on the toilet and Danny Glover's embarrassed because the bomb squad has to come.

[32:12] And I remember while watching it, I was like, wow, this is amazing that this was in a movie.

[32:17] There was a time when this was an acceptable scene for a blockbuster film.

[32:20] Is this ridiculous that, like, the joke is he's sitting on the toilet, you know.

[32:25] And then there's a bomb there.

[32:27] Oh.

[32:27] Movies have gotten both better and worse.

[32:29] That would never happen.

Dan McCoy

[32:30] In today's world of Old Dogs.

Elliott Kalan

[32:33] But Old Dogs is a children's comedy.

[32:36] This was an R-rated action film.

[32:38] The sequel to, you know, a pretty major action movie.

[32:42] This is the sequel, yeah.

[32:43] A sequel to a huge hit that people still kind of like.

Dan McCoy

[32:47] All right.

[32:47] The first thing they like.

[32:48] The key, I guess the key phrase there would be R-rated since, I don't know, I don't think you've,

[32:54] I think you've forgotten a little film called Transformers where, you know, like robots

[33:00] are peeing oil on people.

[33:01] Explained.

[33:02] Explained.

Dan McCoy

[33:02] Explained.

Dan McCoy

[33:02] Explained.

[33:03] Yeah, but that's different.

[33:03] And dogs are humping things.

Elliott Kalan

[33:05] That's like, that's a louder type of joke.

[33:09] This was just done in a very, like, matter-of-fact way.

[33:12] Here's the joke we do about the guy on the toilet.

Dan McCoy

[33:14] Transformers.

[33:15] Is Danny Glover in that?

[33:16] Okay.

[33:17] Anyway, this is the part of the show where we talk about letters.

[33:22] He played Mr. Transformer.

[33:24] Okay, letters.

[33:24] Letters from Green Canyon?

[33:27] Pure luck.

[33:29] Silverado?

[33:30] This first one is, uh...

[33:32] Pure luck.

[33:33] It's called Response to the Response of My Email.

[33:36] Wow.

[33:37] Never mind.

[33:38] Is this a dialogue that we've opened?

[33:40] This is from, uh, Martin Biro.

[33:41] You may have remembered him.

Elliott Kalan

[33:43] Oh, of the Pens and Trains fortune.

Dan McCoy

[33:46] Yeah.

[33:47] Um, and he left the note for the secretary to listen to the Flophouse.

[33:52] Yes.

[33:53] Yeah, and then she wrote in and she was unimpressed by our looks.

[33:56] It was like, cosplay and shit, right?

[33:58] Well, and he responds...

[33:59] I don't remember.

[34:00] I don't remember that part.

[34:01] It was like, Twilight and cosplay, I think.

[34:02] He responds saying, rest assured, we're not in some Flophouse-inspired inter-office war,

[34:07] but you can imagine we are if you wish.

[34:09] I do wish.

[34:10] Already.

[34:11] But, uh, he says, just for the record, or perhaps off the record,

[34:16] I would not kick any of you out of bed,

[34:18] and I would write slash fiction to that effect upon request.

[34:21] Please don't.

[34:22] Please do not.

[34:23] But we appreciate this.

[34:25] And this suggests...

[34:26] I'm up for it.

[34:27] This suggests a whole new direction for us guys,

[34:32] and that we can become gay icons.

[34:36] You know, we have struck out with our female listener.

[34:39] I don't know about you, Elliot.

Stuart Wellington

[34:40] It sounds so hateful when it comes from Dan's mouth.

[34:43] Oh, God.

Dan McCoy

[34:43] Well, he is a homophobe.

[34:44] Yeah.

[34:45] I mean, he said he's...

[34:45] I'm the one encouraging gay men to think of us in a romantic way.

[34:47] He's literally spitting the words out with disgust.

[34:50] Yeah.

[34:50] I know.

[34:50] It kind of makes me uncomfortable.

[34:51] Yeah, me too.

[34:52] Uh, continue, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[34:54] They're called guy-cons, by the way.

Dan McCoy

[34:55] Yeah, that was, that was, that was all I wanted to say from that.

Stuart Wellington

[34:57] Isn't that that, like, little lizard on TV?

[35:00] Yeah.

[35:00] Yeah, yeah, he's gay.

[35:02] Okay.

[35:02] Continue, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[35:03] Okay.

[35:03] Well, this is another message.

[35:06] And this is from, uh, Blythe.

[35:08] Was that all that he had to say?

[35:09] Well, yeah, that was, that was, that was the, that was the gist of it.

Stuart Wellington

[35:12] I mean, I'm sure he has more to say, but that's all he wrote.

Elliott Kalan

[35:15] Well, thank you for, uh, saying that.

[35:17] It's very nice.

[35:18] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[35:19] Uh, Blythe says, I've recently discovered the treasure that is your podcast, but skimming

[35:27] through the archives of your show, I was unable to find the movie Troll 2.

[35:32] Um, if you've not heard of this movie, I think the Flophouse can make an episode out of an

[35:36] early 90s, um, horror.

[35:38] We've heard of Troll 2.

[35:41] And, uh, I could see this movie.

[35:41] You say that with such vitriol.

[35:43] I'm not sure if you're not surprised, the good badness of Brad's.

[35:46] Yes.

[35:46] Well, no, we, we should address this.

[35:48] Uh, this will play into the next, uh, letter as well.

[35:52] Okay.

[35:52] As we've said before, you know, the Flophouse, uh, focuses on new movies.

[35:58] However, the contest that we have going on right now.

[36:02] Yes.

[36:03] Um, to, to read it, to reiterate, if you go to iTunes.

[36:08] I think we should name the contest, You Pick the Flop.

[36:10] Yeah, You Pick the Flop.

[36:11] If you go to iTunes.

[36:12] You Flop the Flop.

[36:13] You write a review of the Flophouse.

[36:16] It works for me.

[36:17] I like it.

[36:18] You write a review of the Flophouse.

[36:20] Good or bad, we're not bribing you.

[36:22] Uh, go, just go to iTunes and write a review.

[36:25] And, um, we will randomly select one who will be able to, um, tell us to watch a particular movie.

Elliott Kalan

[36:33] You get to make the call.

[36:34] You select the movie.

[36:35] Any movie.

[36:36] Any movie.

Stuart Wellington

[36:37] It's like, uh, like, choose your own adventure books.

[36:40] Choose your own Flop Venture.

[36:41] Except you don't get to stick your finger in between, in the page and then go to check out your various choices and see which choice you make.

[36:47] Yeah, and see whether you live or not.

[36:48] It's like real life.

[36:49] Yeah.

[36:49] Well, you don't get to see ahead.

[36:50] You don't get to see ahead.

Elliott Kalan

[36:51] You just make your choice and that's it, man.

[36:53] You don't know if you're going to get devoured by dinosaurs.

[36:56] Yeah.

[36:57] Continue again.

[36:57] I assume those are sour dinosaurs.

[36:59] No, they're the same thing.

Dan McCoy

[37:01] Um, now before I had said that the, uh, the deadline for this would be August 1st, but that, that podcast actually got a little delayed because of the, um,

[37:09] Rain.

[37:09] July holiday.

[37:10] Oh.

[37:11] And so I'm just going to say.

[37:12] Very patriotic.

[37:14] If you review, um, the Flophouse before the next episode comes out, uh, you will still be considered.

[37:21] After this episode.

[37:22] Yes.

[37:22] Okay.

[37:23] No, I'm not expecting them to.

[37:25] Yeah, they're not going to let go.

[37:25] I don't psychically know that I've said this.

[37:28] All right.

[37:29] But, um, so that's, that's a side note.

[37:31] But of course, yes, Troll 2, a movie, uh, that has gotten a lot of, uh, attention.

[37:36] Uh, there's a documentary out about it.

[37:38] Yes.

[37:39] Best Worst Movie that's just come out.

[37:41] And it is a very enjoyable bad movie.

[37:42] It is an extremely enjoyable bad movie.

[37:44] And I, you know, I find that it was a movie that, like, the cult, uh, arose totally organically.

[37:50] Like, I, uh, showed it at a bad movie night, uh, before I knew that there were anyone.

[37:55] Uh, uh, any other people out there who were also, like, discovering this movie?

[37:59] Check out this guy over here.

[38:01] Yeah, I think he started the whole thing.

Elliott Kalan

[38:02] Yeah, what the hell?

[38:03] I did not say that.

[38:04] I watched Troll 2 before it was cool to watch Troll 2.

Dan McCoy

[38:07] I did not say that.

Elliott Kalan

[38:08] Just pointing out.

[38:08] Oh, Troll 2?

[38:09] Yeah, I watched that a while back.

[38:11] I'm done with that.

[38:12] I'm a troll-y.

Dan McCoy

[38:13] I don't think it's a manufactured cult.

[38:16] Uh, but yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[38:17] In a way that, uh, there's something very pure about that.

[38:21] Because it's not like Snakes on a Plane or something.

[38:23] Mm-hmm.

[38:23] Where it's, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[38:25] Where it seems like somebody in an energy drink company came up with the idea that Snakes

[38:29] on a Plane would be super hilarious.

Elliott Kalan

[38:31] Or like, uh, Icing Bros.

[38:33] You know, which sounds like it came from a marketing meeting.

Dan McCoy

[38:36] You know, it's just a movie that played on, uh, you know, HBO a lot when people were kids.

[38:41] A lot.

[38:42] And then they grew up and they're like, wait a minute, what the fuck was going on with

[38:46] that movie?

[38:47] Yeah.

[38:48] But, um.

[38:49] It's completely overshadowed Troll at this point.

[38:51] Yeah.

[38:52] Starring, um, uh, Bono.

Elliott Kalan

[38:55] And, uh.

[38:56] Sonny Bono.

[38:57] And both of them have overshadowed Don Booth's a troll in Central Park.

[39:02] Also, a gnome named Norm has been overshadowed.

[39:05] Yeah.

[39:06] And the park.

[39:07] Just by life.

[39:07] And the park is mine.

[39:08] Another Central Park movie.

[39:10] And munchies.

[39:12] So.

[39:12] And critters.

[39:14] This kind of, uh.

[39:15] Ghoulies.

Dan McCoy

[39:16] Segues into the next, uh, email.

[39:20] Which, uh, which is from Peter, last name withheld.

[39:24] And it says, hey you guys, been watching a lot of bad, bad movies lately.

[39:27] In fact, I can't remember the last movie that got any other review.

[39:30] I can't either.

[39:31] Except for maybe one Dan kind of liked a while back.

[39:35] Where are the good, bad movies?

[39:36] Where are the ones I might actually want to rent and get a good laugh out of?

[39:38] Oh, fuck.

[39:39] I wish we found one.

[39:40] Me too.

[39:41] I wish to God we would find one.

[39:44] I've listened to all the podcasts, many of them twice.

[39:47] And a couple of them four or five times.

[39:48] Holy shit.

[39:49] Wow.

[39:50] And while it's.

Stuart Wellington

[39:50] Probably, I know who killed me.

[39:52] That one's hilarious.

[39:52] That's a good one.

Dan McCoy

[39:53] Yeah.

[39:54] And while it's fun to hear you guys rip these movies new assholes, it would be a richer

[39:57] experience.

[39:57] Not this week.

[39:58] If I wanted to rent the movie.

[40:00] It ripped us a new asshole.

[40:00] You watch so my friends and I can play the home version of the game.

Elliott Kalan

[40:04] Ah, yeah.

[40:05] So, um.

[40:07] We should try to find one that seems like.

[40:09] I mean, every time we pick a movie, we hope it's going to be a good, bad movie.

Dan McCoy

[40:12] Well, this is what I'm saying.

[40:13] Like, we are hamstrung by what we've set out, which is to keep it relatively current.

[40:18] If we were pulling from the vast ocean of bad movies out there, there would be good

[40:25] bad movies.

[40:25] Oh, tons of them.

[40:26] And, uh.

[40:27] That's the reason.

[40:28] I actually, um.

[40:30] You know, host, like, bad movie nights that aren't related to the Flophouse.

[40:34] Where, like.

[40:35] Dan basically doesn't watch any movies that aren't bad.

[40:37] Yeah.

[40:38] Um.

[40:39] And I went back and I looked at all my invitations.

[40:42] Uh.

[40:42] For those bad movie nights.

[40:43] And I pulled a list of some of the more popular ones among the crowd.

[40:47] Good idea.

[40:48] So, um.

[40:49] So, here's a list of movies that I would recommend as, uh.

[40:52] Good, bad movies.

[40:54] Paparazzi.

[40:55] Mm-hmm.

[40:56] That movie's awesome.

[40:57] Uh.

[40:57] Sheena.

[40:58] That's a fun, stupid movie.

[40:59] Uh.

[41:00] Dreamcatcher.

[41:01] Oh.

[41:02] Terrible film.

[41:02] Fuck that movie.

[41:04] Don't Tell Her It's Me.

[41:05] A.K.A.

[41:06] The Boyfriend School.

[41:07] Yeah, that movie's awesome.

[41:07] hilarious.

[41:08] Terrible.

[41:08] Uh.

[41:09] Cobra.

[41:10] Sure.

Elliott Kalan

[41:10] Great.

[41:11] That's a good movie, though.

[41:12] Cuffs.

[41:13] The Garbage Pail Kids movie.

Dan McCoy

[41:15] Oh, no.

[41:16] That's an unpleasant film.

[41:18] That is not a pleasant movie to sit through.

[41:20] Um.

[41:21] Uh.

[41:22] Uh.

[41:23] Two well-known bad movies, the Wicker Man remake and Xanadu, both went over very well.

[41:27] Yeah.

[41:27] Wicker Man remake is really funny.

Stuart Wellington

[41:28] Yeah.

[41:28] It's so many punching of women.

Dan McCoy

[41:31] Hard Ticket to Hawaii.

[41:33] Yeah.

[41:33] That movie's awesome.

[41:34] Any other Andy Sedaris film.

[41:35] Savage Beach.

[41:36] Yeah.

[41:37] Have a lot of bazookas and breasts.

[41:39] Not Amy Sedaris.

[41:40] No.

[41:40] Not Amy Sedaris.

[41:41] Same thing, right?

[41:43] No.

[41:44] Um.

[41:44] Superman 4.

[41:45] Not what's-his-name.

[41:46] The Quest for Peace.

[41:47] Superman 4 is pretty funny.

[41:49] And Sleepwalkers.

[41:51] Those were all popular choices.

[41:53] Do you guys have anything off the top of your head?

Stuart Wellington

[41:54] Didn't you watch The Marine for one of your movie nights?

[41:58] Oh, The Marine.

Dan McCoy

[41:58] That was a good one, too.

[41:59] Oh, God.

[42:00] That one's awesome.

Elliott Kalan

[42:01] I mean, we watched it, but The Happening, I will always recommend as one of the funniest

[42:06] bad movies.

[42:08] Everything about it is bad, but it breezes by, and it's so stupid that it's just a lot

[42:15] of fun to watch.

[42:16] Yeah, right.

[42:17] I'll agree with that.

Dan McCoy

[42:19] And, of course, we all love Tango and Cash.

Elliott Kalan

[42:22] Oh, and Tango and Cash is-

[42:24] So good.

[42:24] Well, Tango and Cash is brilliant.

[42:26] Tango and Cash is a movie that's so bad it becomes a great movie.

[42:31] I would agree with that.

[42:32] It is.

[42:32] It's really good.

[42:33] It is.

[42:35] Tango and Cash is like the last great movie before irony stepped in, and people realized

[42:40] the movies they were making were bad.

[42:42] Yeah.

[42:43] And that they could mitigate that by knowing it was bad.

[42:46] That was back when anyone who- everyone thought it was either going to be the most kick-ass

[42:50] movie ever, or they knew it was bad, and they were just trying to get through it as quickly

[42:54] as possible while making it.

[42:55] Oh, God.

[42:56] It's so good.

[42:56] Oh, it's such a bad movie, and that's even- it's so funny even before, for no reason at

[43:01] all, the retarded genius inventor comes in and makes them a battle tank.

[43:05] Oh, yeah.

[43:06] By Michael J.

[43:08] Paul.

[43:09] Oh, what a movie.

[43:10] Yeah.

[43:11] Featuring Terry Hatcher as the stripper who doesn't take your clothes off.

Dan McCoy

[43:15] Yeah.

[43:15] A common figure in movies of the late 80s and early 90s.

[43:18] That's true, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[43:20] And in my masturbatory fantasies.

Dan McCoy

[43:22] Wow.

[43:23] You are a gentleman even in those.

Stuart Wellington

[43:25] I like to treat my ladies well.

[43:28] In your mind.

[43:29] I like to give them a treasure bath.

[43:34] It doesn't sound uncomfortable.

[43:35] It's like gold coins and diamonds and shit.

[43:37] Yeah, yeah.

[43:37] No, I know.

[43:37] It's like Uncle Scrooge.

Elliott Kalan

[43:39] Uncle Scrooge.

Stuart Wellington

[43:40] Well, I wouldn't do it to Uncle Scrooge because he's a fucking duck man, but like-

[43:44] You know, like a hot chick.

Elliott Kalan

[43:46] You're not a-

Stuart Wellington

[43:47] Wearing like a shoulder pad sport coat.

Elliott Kalan

[43:50] Sounds like it'd be exfoliating.

[43:50] She gets treasure.

Stuart Wellington

[43:52] Yeah, no, it feels good.

Elliott Kalan

[43:53] Sounds like you'd get rust all over you.

Stuart Wellington

[43:55] Come on.

[43:56] It's treasure.

[43:58] When's the last time you saw rust on treasure?

[43:59] I cleaned that shit pretty well.

Dan McCoy

[44:00] On treasure.

[44:01] Come on.

[44:01] You see corroded-

[44:02] Tarnies.

Stuart Wellington

[44:03] There might be a little bit of vertigrees.

[44:06] What about ambergris?

[44:08] Probably not.

[44:09] That would be in a separate type of bath.

[44:12] All right.

[44:12] The one that keeps me young.

Dan McCoy

[44:15] The last email here is titled, Get Smurfed.

[44:19] Oh, boy.

[44:20] I think I know what this is going to be about.

[44:21] And it comes from my favorite flop fan, Ashley, last name.

[44:26] Wait, speaking of-

Elliott Kalan

[44:26] Wait, there are all these-

[44:26] Speaking of movies that are good, bad movies, there are all these movies we wanted to watch

[44:30] that we haven't watched.

[44:31] Like what?

[44:31] Like Old Dogs.

[44:33] Oh, yeah.

[44:34] Where's that one?

[44:35] All right.

[44:35] Well, we'll get to Old Dogs.

[44:36] There are all these movies that come out and I say-

[44:38] I thought we watched that.

[44:39] I want to Flophouse that.

[44:40] Or like friends of mine will say, oh, I saw this trailer in the first-

[44:43] Like this new M. Night Shyamalan movie, Devil.

[44:46] Right.

[44:46] Someone said to me, the first thing I thought when I saw that was, I can't wait to hear

[44:49] the Flophouse do something about it.

[44:50] We got to do something about those movies.

Dan McCoy

[44:52] Well, that movie has not been released yet.

Elliott Kalan

[44:54] No, but I mean those- we see trailers all the time.

Stuart Wellington

[44:56] Why don't we call up M. Night, see if he'll send us an advanced screener.

Elliott Kalan

[45:00] All right, well, you guys start writing him down.

[45:01] I mean, come on.

[45:02] Yeah, I'll email him.

[45:03] Pull your weight.

[45:05] I come here once every two weeks and talk for an hour.

[45:08] What, that's not pulling my weight?

Dan McCoy

[45:09] So, Ashley writes, I had the misfortune of seeing the trailer for the Smurfs movie in

[45:14] front of Toy Story 3.

[45:16] My first thought was, did Elliot write this?

[45:19] It's so hacktastic it defies parody.

Elliott Kalan

[45:21] Oh, and I'm a hack, huh?

Dan McCoy

[45:23] If Smurfs can get made, I don't see how Ziggy starring Wallace Shawn can't get made.

Elliott Kalan

[45:27] Oh, I forgot about Ziggy.

[45:28] Yeah, you're right.

[45:29] Smurfs- if Smurfs is a success, I'm going out.

[45:31] I've got to go to Tom Wilson and give him that Ziggy pitch.

[45:34] Or I'll buy the rights to Ziggy myself.

[45:36] I'll produce this movie.

Stuart Wellington

[45:37] It can't be that expensive.

Elliott Kalan

[45:39] It can be fairly expensive.

Stuart Wellington

[45:41] Well, I mean, like-

[45:42] But you do have, like, mountains of gold.

Elliott Kalan

[45:44] Oh, no, I work in television, so I make an annual salary of about $30 billion a year.

[45:48] Sure.

[45:49] But the thing about the Smurfs movie is, it does all the stupid things that Ziggy would

[45:55] do in my Ziggy movie.

[45:57] Yeah.

[45:57] Where it's like, for no reason at all, it's like, now they're in the real world.

[46:01] And they play a wild thing on the soundtrack.

[46:04] Yeah, absolutely.

Dan McCoy

[46:04] They play wild thing at the end, and get Smurfed is, get Smurf apostrophe D.

Elliott Kalan

[46:09] Just like this summer, get Zigged.

[46:11] Yeah.

[46:12] They stole my idea.

[46:13] That's what it was.

[46:14] Yeah.

[46:15] It is very hacktack.

Stuart Wellington

[46:16] Is it like Beastmaster 2 through the portal of time?

[46:19] Or like the He-Man movie, where He-Man and the other Masters of the Universe show up in the real world.

[46:24] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[46:24] Well, that's because Masters of the Universe was a Jack Kirby's fourth world script.

Dan McCoy

[46:27] Yeah, you have to assume that Gargamel does some sort of spell.

[46:32] That sounds like Gargamel.

[46:33] You have to go to Manhattan.

[46:34] You have to go to Manhattan.

[46:35] I haven't seen the trailer.

Elliott Kalan

[46:39] It's just so dumb.

[46:40] It's like, how many of these things, like, they're going to discover pizza, and they're

[46:43] going to discover rock music, and they're going to have to drive a car.

[46:48] They're going to discover rock music.

Stuart Wellington

[46:49] Wait, how large are they?

[46:50] Are they, like, human size?

[46:51] No, they're tiny.

[46:53] But a pizza would be way too much food for a Smurf.

Elliott Kalan

[46:55] Yeah, that's where the joke comes.

[46:56] They're trying to pick it up, and they're like, oh, this is delicious.

[46:59] At some point, someone's going to open a pizza box and see a Smurf with a huge distended

[47:02] belly who burps inside it.

[47:04] Sure.

[47:04] I guarantee you.

[47:05] I guarantee you that's going to happen.

[47:08] And there's going to be a scene where they learn about modern music, and they dance to

[47:11] it.

[47:12] Sure.

[47:12] Because every cute character in a movie loves rock and roll as soon as they hear it.

[47:16] Mm-hmm.

[47:17] But it's always the shittiest rock and roll that that time period can produce.

Stuart Wellington

[47:19] There'll be some kind of sunglasses on them or something.

[47:24] Maybe a backwards ball cap.

Elliott Kalan

[47:26] Again, Ziggy would have done all these things.

Dan McCoy

[47:27] See, you're rolling your eyes about that, but I remember a little scene in Gremlins 2 where

[47:34] Gizmo dances to a pop song.

Elliott Kalan

[47:37] Yeah, no.

[47:38] Gizmo likes those, too.

[47:39] That's the hacky part of Gremlins.

[47:40] All right.

[47:42] So, um...

[47:43] But I also remember part in Gremlins 2 where they do a Busby

[47:46] Berklee-inspired musical number.

[47:49] Sure.

[47:49] Where's that?

[47:50] But there's that other part.

[47:51] There's that other...

[47:51] See, Tony Randall sings New York, New York.

Stuart Wellington

[47:54] Hey, and Gremlins 2.

[47:56] That's the one with the...

[47:57] That's the one with the new badge.

[47:58] The babe.

[47:58] Yeah, the babe Gremlin.

[47:59] The hot Gremlin chick with the boobs.

Elliott Kalan

[48:01] Who at the end lives and Robert Picardo and she falls in love.

[48:05] Yeah.

[48:07] Well, apparently she's redeemable.

[48:08] It is.

[48:09] There is a movie.

[48:10] Like you were talking about those sexy duck women that you were talking about just then

[48:13] that you wanted to give a treasure bath to.

Stuart Wellington

[48:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[48:15] Like the chicken Howard the Duck in the opening scene where he's being sucked through the

[48:19] walls.

[48:20] And I'm like, holy crap.

[48:21] That's a naked duck.

Elliott Kalan

[48:22] At the end of the movie, he is like okay with the idea of having sex with a two foot tall

[48:27] monster that has just a head full of hair, red lips, and I guess boobs.

[48:34] No other female characteristics as far as we know.

[48:37] Well, we don't know.

[48:38] Except at the end of Something Like It Hot, Elliot.

[48:39] It's exactly...

[48:40] Except at the end of Something Like It Hot, they're both human beings.

[48:43] Eh.

[48:43] Well, that's why Something Like It Hot is not a funny movie anymore.

Dan McCoy

[48:46] Yeah.

[48:46] Because the very idea that two men would be in love is no longer a laughable proposition.

Elliott Kalan

[48:52] She does have large grasping hands.

Stuart Wellington

[48:57] I mean, I'm not going to say that she'd be top of my list, like top five or nothing, but...

Dan McCoy

[49:04] Okay, well, let's move on and quickly let's...

[49:06] Gremlins 2 is a great movie, by the way.

[49:08] Yeah, no, I agree.

[49:09] Quickly, let's talk to Elliot a little bit.

[49:10] I've never had sex with a gremlin, by the way.

[49:12] I'm bad.

[49:12] You are missing out.

[49:14] Let's talk to Elliot a little bit about...

[49:16] Comic-Con.

[49:16] You mean Comic-Con International?

Elliott Kalan

[49:18] Yes, I do.

[49:18] In San Diego?

[49:19] Well, Comic Book's Brightest Stars came out to shine at San Diego Comic-Con International.

[49:26] We had people in costumes and stuff and all sorts of things.

[49:30] I went to do a lot of stuff.

[49:31] All right, descriptive.

Dan McCoy

[49:34] Elliot brought me back a Sheena button, speaking of the movie Sheena.

Elliott Kalan

[49:37] Yep.

[49:38] I had never been to the San Diego Comic-Con before.

[49:40] I went as a bachelor party weekend, which was a lot of fun.

[49:45] Mm-hmm.

[49:45] And with a couple people.

Dan McCoy

[49:48] Stuart and I would have been able to go, by the way.

[49:53] If we were invited?

[49:55] Yeah.

[49:55] Well, I know that's not true about Dan McCoy.

[49:58] We didn't want to put the money in.

[50:01] That's all.

[50:02] Wait, I was invited?

[50:03] I don't want you to feel bad about it.

[50:06] But Elliot went without us.

[50:09] Anyway, go on.

Elliott Kalan

[50:10] Anyway, only groomsmen were invited.

[50:13] That's why you weren't invited.

Stuart Wellington

[50:14] Oh, okay.

Elliott Kalan

[50:17] I'm sure that you could have gone to Comic-Con.

Stuart Wellington

[50:18] Yeah, I mean, if I hadn't been in a haze of alcohol and sadness, I probably would have realized that there's this comic book convention that all these fellows are going to.

Elliott Kalan

[50:32] But the thing is, I didn't see a lot of the movie stuff at Comic-Con.

[50:35] They had a lot of big announcements about, like, who's going to be in the Avengers and the Green Lantern stuff and Tron and the Tron legacy.

[50:42] And I didn't see that much of that.

[50:44] I was really focused on a lot of the comic book things.

[50:47] But I did go to a panel featuring star 80s and 90s poster painter Drew Struzan, who you may know as the man behind the Back to the Future and Indiana Jones and the Thing posters, among other things.

[50:58] And he did – there's a – they showed 20 minutes of a documentary that these guys are funding – the guys who are making the documentary are also funding it themselves as a passion project.

[51:09] That's a documentary about Drew Struzan.

[51:11] And he tells the story in it about painting the poster for The Thing, where they called him up apparently and they said, oh, you know that 50s movie, The Thing?

[51:19] Well, we're going to remake it.

[51:20] And he goes, oh, that's great.

[51:21] And they go, okay, well, we need a poster for it.

[51:24] And that's all the information that they gave him.

[51:26] So the reason you can't – and it's an amazing poster.

[51:28] It's really good.

[51:29] But the reason there's no details of anything in the poster is because he had no idea who was in the movie, what the movie was going to be about, any scenes from it.

[51:38] But that was exciting to see him.

[51:40] I also went to a panel featuring The Room star, director, producer, writer Tommy Wiseau, who is exactly what you would want him to be, a crazy nut job.

[51:52] Who talks in a nearly incomprehensible accent and refuses to give any information about himself.

[52:00] He was – he's the star of a short movie called The House That Drips Blood on Alex that was written and produced and directed by a sketch comedy team.

[52:09] And he – and the movie – and it was a fine short sketch comedy piece.

[52:13] Like there were some okay jokes in it, some jokes that didn't fall so well.

[52:18] Nothing special, but Tommy Wiseau then managed to completely take control of the panel, which was him, the other people who were in the movie, the sketch comedy group, and Joey Greco, the former host of Cheaters, who was also in the sketch comedy group.

[52:33] He was the moderator.

[52:34] And Tommy Wiseau just took control of the panel and didn't let go.

[52:38] Rightfully so.

[52:39] Rightfully so.

[52:39] Everyone was there to see him.

[52:40] It was a really rowdy audience, really loud, constantly cheering everything he said.

[52:46] Tommy Wiseau got so many applause breaks.

[52:48] And I don't think he ever – and he was like, hey, these people like me.

[52:52] I better do silly things.

[52:53] But I don't think he ever realized like these people are laughing at me.

[52:56] I am a freak to them, which made me feel kind of bad.

[52:58] But he took – there was a long question and answer period.

[53:01] Someone would say, when you were making The Room, what were you thinking about?

[53:04] And he would say, are you asking me?

[53:07] Is this question for me?

[53:08] Is this for anyone?

[53:09] Are you French all the same?

[53:10] I can't do it.

[53:11] His accent is – I can't do it.

[53:13] Yeah, it's like a weird Eastern European thing.

[53:15] But he would always make everyone address him first to make sure that he knew it was a question for him.

[53:19] Someone came and said, Mr. Wiseau.

[53:21] And he goes, don't call me Mr. Wiseau.

[53:23] Call me Tommy or Wiseau.

[53:27] And someone asked him where he was from.

[53:29] And his answer was, no, move on, next question.

[53:32] Every answer he ended with, move on, next question.

[53:35] And the audience would applaud because he was so rude.

[53:39] Someone asked him if there would be a sequel to The Room.

[53:40] And he said, well, you know, in America, anything is possible.

[53:44] USA.

[53:45] And everyone was chanting USA.

[53:48] That chant returned over and over again.

[53:51] At one point, someone asked him, what do you eat for breakfast?

[53:54] Like, what's a Tommy Wiseau breakfast?

[53:55] And he said, I'm sorry.

[53:56] Say again.

[53:58] What do you eat for breakfast?

[54:00] I don't.

[54:01] And the guy actually said to him, you get up in the morning.

[54:03] You have something to eat.

[54:06] What do you eat?

[54:07] And he said, do a personal question.

[54:10] Move on, next question.

[54:12] He would not say what he eats for breakfast.

[54:13] Other things that I learned, he plans The Room will appear on Blu-ray and in 3D.

[54:19] Blu-ray will appear either before December or after January.

[54:24] He is still looking for a publisher for his...

[54:26] Wait.

[54:27] He's still...

Dan McCoy

[54:28] So not in December or January.

[54:30] No.

Elliott Kalan

[54:31] I guess he has Christmas plans.

[54:33] He's still looking for a publisher for his novel version of The Room, which is over 600 pages, according to him.

[54:40] He was asked to recite a Shakespeare sonnet.

[54:42] This is something he does at public appearances.

[54:45] And he asked Joey Greco, is it okay?

[54:47] Do you give permission?

[54:49] And Joey Greco said, why don't we end the panel with a sonnet?

[54:51] Which makes sense.

[54:52] It's a good way to end it.

[54:53] And Tommy Ozzolo goes, actually, I say I do give permission.

[54:56] I will do it.

[54:57] And he did it.

[54:59] Then he sang...

[55:00] Someone asked him to sing Happy Birthday, which he doesn't really know the words to.

[55:03] So he had everyone who said it was their birthday line up on the front of the room, ask their names, saying Happy Birthday, and then said, you go over in that corner.

[55:10] Now I give you T-shirts.

[55:12] And he was throwing T-shirts at them, all while saying, I don't want to... I don't mean to steal the show.

[55:17] I'm not stealing the panel, while throwing T-shirts over his shoulder at these people.

[55:21] It was great.

[55:22] He gave an aspiring artist the wisdom that...

[55:26] She said, what do you say to other people who want to make movies, their own movies?

[55:28] And he says, well, you got to give 20% to get 100%.

[55:33] You go 20, then 40, then 60, then 80, then 100.

[55:36] But you can't do just 20%.

[55:39] It has to be 100%.

[55:40] That was his advice.

[55:42] I'm trying to think what other amazing, crazy things he said.

[55:45] He was ridiculous.

[55:46] He wore sunglasses the entire time, even though it was 9 o'clock at night indoors.

Dan McCoy

[55:52] Did he ever do that weird laugh he does throughout the room?

[55:55] Oh, yes, he did.

Elliott Kalan

[55:56] A lot of that.

[55:58] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

[56:00] He was...

[56:00] Oh, it was a beautiful night, and he was crazy.

[56:04] You know, everything about him was weird.

[56:07] Those were the big, I think, flop-related highlights of the weekend.

[56:11] Okay.

[56:13] I didn't see any...

[56:14] Like, I didn't get to see...

[56:15] The only celebrities I really saw were the kind of lower-level ones that were signing at booths.

[56:19] I saw Malcolm McDowell, who looks very old.

[56:22] I saw John Saxon, who looks extremely old.

[56:25] And Brent Spiner, who was doing everything he could to get people to pay attention to him.

[56:29] Ha, ha, ha, ha.

[56:29] Michael Dorn was signing at a table, and Brent Spiner walked up and went,

Stuart Wellington

[56:33] Hey, Worf!

[56:34] Hey, Worf!

[56:35] I'm a big fan!

[56:36] Hey, Worf!

Elliott Kalan

[56:37] Ha, ha, ha.

[56:38] Wow.

[56:40] You know, it felt very comic book convention-y.

[56:43] But overall, the convention is such a big thing.

[56:45] It's kind of sad because you have the whole convention hall.

[56:48] One half of it is movies and toys and video games, and the other half is comic books.

[56:53] And you walk in on the movies and toys and video games side, and it's so crowded.

[56:57] It's super crowded.

[56:58] And the closer you get to the comic book section, the more the crowds thin out.

[57:02] Until by the time you get to the comic book section, you can walk around freely, take your time.

[57:05] Like, there's just not as many people there, you know.

[57:07] Everyone wants to see, you know, all the latest news about the Clash of the Titans DVD release.

[57:14] But, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[57:15] Or what J.J. Abrams has up his sleeve.

Elliott Kalan

[57:18] Exactly.

[57:19] I did sit through one panel I didn't originally plan to.

[57:23] In order to see the Venture Brothers panel, without waiting online,

[57:26] I went ahead of time to the panel before it, which was for the TV show Leverage.

[57:30] And I never realized there were so many diehard Leverage fans.

[57:33] Apparently, they love Timothy Hutton and all the stars of Leverage.

[57:38] And I watched 15 minutes of a new episode of Leverage that they screened.

[57:42] And I've got to say, that show is ridiculous.

[57:45] Ridiculously good?

[57:46] Well, it was fun in the this is stupid way.

Dan McCoy

[57:49] No, it's a dumb show.

[57:50] I actually watch it, you know, it comes on during the summer.

[57:52] Religiously?

[57:53] It's fun.

[57:55] It was very fun.

[57:56] Well, it's not part of a religious observance of any kind.

[57:58] Oh, yeah.

[57:59] It's not a Bible.

[57:59] I have it on my DVR.

[58:01] But it was a very dopey show.

Elliott Kalan

[58:04] But that's the other thing about Comic-Con is you're constantly bumping into groups of people

[58:08] who are rabidly in love with something you have never heard of or know nothing about.

[58:13] And they know every detail about this thing.

[58:16] They run their lives by it.

[58:17] They love it.

[58:17] They can't wait to see more.

[58:19] And you know nothing about it.

[58:20] It's like the show Leverage, all I knew were the print ads, which showed a giant tied up on the ground while Timothy Hutton kind of smirked at the camera.

[58:27] So I assumed it was about guys who fight giants.

[58:30] But these people, they know all the episode titles.

[58:33] They know the characters.

[58:34] They can't wait to see what's going to happen.

[58:35] They really want to know when the Leverage role-playing game was coming out.

[58:38] And Will Wheaton, who was on the panel, said he was very excited about that, too.

[58:42] Oh, man, that's awesome.

Stuart Wellington

[58:44] Well, I wish I had gone to that.

Elliott Kalan

[58:46] I had so much fun at this panel for a show I don't watch.

Dan McCoy

[58:50] Well, we need to wrap it up because the computer can only handle so much before it crashes.

[58:57] Maybe we'll tease out some more Comic-Con stories in the future.

[59:01] Sure.

[59:01] But for now.

[59:02] I didn't even talk about all the slutty costumes.

[59:04] Oh, man.

[59:05] We'll talk about that.

[59:06] We will talk about that later.

[59:07] But for now, I'm Dan McCoy.

[59:10] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[59:11] I think I'm Elliot Kalin.

[59:13] Good night.

Stuart Wellington

[59:16] Is that the start of his memoir?

[59:19] Memoir?

[59:19] It's the start of his novel.

Elliott Kalan

[59:20] Memoir.

[59:21] Memoir.

Dan McCoy

[59:23] It's called Memoirs of a Geisha.

Elliott Kalan

[59:25] Memoirs of an Invisible Woman.

Stuart Wellington

[59:26] Of a Geisha?

[59:28] Yeah.

[59:28] That's a gay Geisha.

[59:30] Yes.

[59:31] Right?

[59:32] I get it.

Dan McCoy

[59:32] That's exactly what that is.

Stuart Wellington

[59:34] Get it?

[59:36] Oh, man.

[59:37] I just said I got it.

[59:38] I need to power up.

[59:39] Do you have any beer?

The Flop House: Episode #64 - Repo Men

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