The Flop House: Episode #66 - Blood: The Last Vampire

Dan McCoy

[0:00] In this episode, we try and cash in on the vampire craze by discussing Blood, the Last Vampire.

[0:30] Hello and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

S1

[0:40] I am Elliot Kalin.

[0:42] And I'm special guest Federico Hatoum.

Dan McCoy

[0:46] Oh wow, you did half of our work for us.

[0:49] Yep.

[0:50] Indicating that you were a special guest.

S1

[0:52] Well, I figured that was my job.

Elliott Kalan

[0:53] And saying your own name.

S1

[0:55] Was I not supposed to say that?

Elliott Kalan

[0:57] Well, we like to have the option of coming up with a fake name for the guest.

[1:01] Damn it.

[1:02] Yeah, we are...

[1:03] Yours would have been Billy Midnight.

Dan McCoy

[1:05] I like that.

[1:06] So I guess he lost out.

[1:09] We're continuing our trend of disappointing our audience.

[1:12] I mean, not that you're a disappointment.

[1:13] No, no.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15] That's not how I took it at all.

[1:16] That's how I took it.

[1:18] And I have to say, for you, I'm offended.

Dan McCoy

[1:22] No, you know, it's usually if we've been gone for a while.

[1:27] We like to come back with all three of the regular hosts.

[1:31] But Stuart...

[1:33] I don't know.

[1:34] What the fuck is he doing?

Elliott Kalan

[1:35] I don't remember if it's work or...

[1:38] He's a shadowy guy.

[1:39] He's kind of mysterious.

S1

[1:41] Does he say things like, I had to go see some guy about some stuff?

[1:44] Doesn't explain what it is?

Elliott Kalan

[1:45] Except the way he says it, it's like, yeah, so I was fucking my girlfriend.

[1:51] That's his version of I was seeing a guy about some stuff.

[1:54] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:56] Naked Sundays.

[1:57] That's a thing they do.

[1:58] Well, we don't need to talk about that.

[2:00] You could probably cut that out of the podcast.

Elliott Kalan

[2:04] Actually, he would say bang in my girlfriend.

[2:06] Oh, okay.

[2:06] Or he would say something about getting his joint worked or something like that.

Dan McCoy

[2:10] The information is not that personal because he shared us.

[2:14] Yeah, that's true.

[2:15] No, Fed is a co-host of the number one foreign language or Spanish language.

[2:24] Yeah, at this point Spanish is not a foreign language.

[2:26] It's as American as Apple Pie.

[2:28] Apple-sh podcast.

[2:29] Apple.

[2:30] Apple-related.

[2:31] Apple-related.

[2:32] Podcast.

S1

[2:33] It's called Budo Mac, believe it or not.

[2:36] And if you go on iTunes Spain, for example, you'll see it is always, much to my surprise,

[2:43] always in the top, usually the top 20 of all podcasts, including video podcasts.

Elliott Kalan

[2:48] And what do you talk about on it?

S1

[2:50] We talk about Apple products and Apple News and, you know, every time Steve Jobs says something that's obnoxious,

[2:57] we say, oh, that's Steve Jobs.

[2:59] Errr.

[3:00] We shake our face.

[3:00] But you say it in Spanish, right?

[3:01] But we say it in Spanish, yes.

[3:02] How would that go?

[3:03] Este Steve Jobs es un idiota.

[3:06] Lo odio el tipo.

Elliott Kalan

[3:07] And how do you translate?

[3:08] Errr.

S1

[3:10] Errr.

Dan McCoy

[3:12] It's a charming language.

S1

[3:14] Yes, it has such subtleties.

Dan McCoy

[3:16] Wow.

[3:17] Well, you know, well, our producer has been saying that, you know.

[3:22] We have a producer?

[3:23] I did say.

[3:24] Our producer has been saying that.

[3:26] We're in your living room.

[3:29] That we are, that the one quadrant we're not servicing is Spanish-speaking.

[3:34] Oh, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[3:35] That's the one quadrant we're not servicing.

[3:37] Apple-oficionados.

[3:39] And now, finally.

[3:40] Because we've already got the tween girl market.

[3:43] Yes.

[3:43] We've already got the elderly market.

Dan McCoy

[3:46] Name the fourth quadrant that we haven't...

Elliott Kalan

[3:49] Retired servicemen.

Dan McCoy

[3:51] Okay.

[3:53] I think Stuart, with his frequent contributions to humor in uniform, is covering that for us.

[3:59] So, anyway.

[4:01] What did we watch tonight?

[4:03] I don't even remember.

Elliott Kalan

[4:04] We watched a movie called Blood, The Last Vampire.

Dan McCoy

[4:10] Blood, colon, The Last Vampire.

Elliott Kalan

[4:11] Wait, first, did we explain on the website why it had been so long since our last episode, right?

[4:16] Let's address this for a little bit.

[4:18] Before we get...

Elliott Kalan

[4:18] Let's kill some time, because actually we don't have to talk about Blood.

S1

[4:20] I don't even know why.

[4:21] You really don't?

[4:22] No.

[4:22] Well, is it because...

[4:23] Well, Elliot got married for one thing.

[4:24] Yeah, it's because I got married.

[4:25] That's one thing.

[4:25] Okay, that's true.

Elliott Kalan

[4:26] And then it was just the inertia from the marriage.

Dan McCoy

[4:28] Much like Elliot's best friend from high school, who I can't even remember.

[4:36] I'm doing the running joke and I can't even remember what it was.

[4:38] Anne Hathaway.

[4:39] Anne Hathaway, right.

[4:39] Yes, I do remember that.

[4:40] Much like Rachel got married.

Elliott Kalan

[4:41] She doesn't even play Rachel in that movie.

[4:43] Elliot got married.

[4:43] She's Rachel's sister.

[4:45] That's true.

[4:46] That's true.

S1

[4:46] And she played your sister in your wedding.

Elliott Kalan

[4:48] No, no.

[4:48] My sister was played by my sister in the wedding.

[4:50] Oh.

[4:51] No, that's not as exciting.

[4:52] Who, by the way, I spent the entire wedding...

[4:54] Oh, yes.

Dan McCoy

[4:55] Speaking of actresses, I spent the entire wedding trying to figure out what actress your sister looks like.

[4:59] Because she looks like someone and I couldn't come up with it.

[5:01] I don't...

[5:02] Why don't you ask her?

[5:03] Okay.

[5:04] Who do you look like?

[5:05] Pick up your twin sister and ask her what actress she looks like.

[5:08] What famous actress she looks like.

[5:10] Oh, she's a twin.

[5:10] That's awesome.

Elliott Kalan

[5:11] Yeah, yeah.

[5:11] She's my twin sister.

Dan McCoy

[5:12] Rosemary DeWitt was Rachel, by the way.

[5:15] Rachel getting married.

[5:16] That finally came back to me, so...

Elliott Kalan

[5:17] But yes, a month ago today, I got married.

[5:22] Mm-hmm.

[5:22] And it's one of the reasons that the podcast has not been done is because now that I'm married,

[5:29] my wife no longer approves of my friends, especially my podcasting friends.

[5:33] When I told her Stuart was not going to be able to make it tonight, she said it was okay.

Dan McCoy

[5:36] Wow.

[5:36] There's constantly...

[5:38] She never said that.

[5:38] There's constantly a rolling pin hovering just behind your head.

Elliott Kalan

[5:41] We subscribe to the Andy Capp Lockhorns School of Marriage, which is, if you're not fighting,

[5:49] things aren't all right-ing.

[5:51] Wow.

S1

[5:51] So you get into, like, a big ball of fists and feet?

[5:55] Yeah.

[5:56] And just kind of, like, dust lines.

[5:57] Yeah, dust lines.

[5:58] Yeah, and lightning bolts.

[5:59] Interesting.

Dan McCoy

[5:59] Yeah.

[6:00] And so that was...

[6:01] But it works for you, you know?

[6:02] Yeah.

[6:02] That was reason number one.

[6:04] And then reason number two was I was doing some...

[6:08] First, I was doing some freelance work for Cinemax that may or may not see air, so I can't really...

[6:13] Tell about the role you're playing on the new show, New York Sexcapades.

[6:18] I'm playing Tex McCabe, the stubbly stranger from out west who comes and seduces Misty Monday.

[6:27] No, I'm doing some animation work that may or may not be broadcast.

[6:34] So that's number one.

[6:35] And then number two...

[6:36] And then number two, I was in the New York TV and Video Festival in support of my independent

[6:42] television pilot 9 a.m. meeting.

[6:45] Which...

[6:46] Based on the successful series of shorts.

[6:47] Which?

[6:47] Come on.

[6:48] Which won the MTV Award for Animation, which came along with it.

Elliott Kalan

[6:52] So you got one of those Moon Men trophies?

Dan McCoy

[6:54] Yeah, I got some gold-plated popcorn.

Elliott Kalan

[6:58] Popcorn with a Moon Men on it.

Dan McCoy

[6:59] Yeah.

[6:59] Awesome.

[6:59] You won for best kiss.

[7:01] It was me and Kristen Stewart.

[7:05] And yeah, it was tremendous.

S1

[7:07] That was actually...

[7:08] I was at the first screening of the...

[7:11] Whatever animation...

[7:12] You were in animation group two.

[7:14] And I have to say, I've seen all the episodes before, but I really enjoyed seeing it in a

[7:18] big group of people.

[7:19] And the audience loved 9 a.m.

[7:22] meeting.

[7:22] Yeah, you know who did not love it?

Dan McCoy

[7:24] Who?

[7:24] Was the reviewer from the Onion AV Club.

[7:27] Really?

[7:27] Who came to the...

[7:28] No, he gave us a seat.

Elliott Kalan

[7:29] That was crap.

[7:30] Really?

[7:30] He wrote...

[7:31] He wrote...

[7:31] Or she wrote a...

[7:33] Of all the animation things, I think yours might have had the longest review with the

[7:37] most specifics in it.

[7:39] Like, this was obviously a show that stuck in this person's mind the most.

[7:43] And yet at the end, they're like, ah, buddy, gets a little tired after a while.

[7:47] Which is one...

[7:49] Especially compared to the other things that were in your block of nominees.

[7:54] Not true.

[7:55] And then it was like they were going out of their way to not...

[7:58] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[7:59] To not give a good grade.

Dan McCoy

[8:00] I bring it up just because I'm a negative person.

[8:04] But, I mean...

Elliott Kalan

[8:04] I bring it up because I like to burn bridges.

[8:07] Yeah, I do like to burn...

[8:08] But ultimately...

[8:09] Do you hear that AV Club?

[8:10] Dan McCoy thinks you're terrible.

Dan McCoy

[8:12] Actually, I love the Onion AV Club, which is why it hurts my feelings.

[8:15] He never reads your rag, which I love, by the way.

[8:18] It hurts my feelings.

[8:19] But it just doesn't matter because ultimately MTV gave us the money.

Elliott Kalan

[8:25] Yes.

[8:26] Congratulations.

[8:27] Thank you.

[8:27] It did go...

[8:27] It did play very well with an audience.

[8:29] I saw the second screening of it.

[8:30] Oh, you did?

[8:31] Well, it should.

Dan McCoy

[8:31] I mean, like, not to...

[8:33] It's been a mainstay of Channel 101.

[8:35] We've been...

[8:36] We were brought back for 10 months in a row, so it plays well for an audience.

[8:39] I know for a fact.

[8:39] I feel bad I haven't seen any of those.

[8:41] That's fine.

[8:42] I'm just saying I know for a fact that it plays for an audience because if it didn't,

[8:45] they would have canceled us long ago.

[8:47] Yeah, that's true.

Elliott Kalan

[8:48] So that's why we haven't done a show in a while, in a podcast in a while.

[8:53] But we're coming back with one of our best episodes ever, I think.

S1

[8:57] We saw BL Infinity D, The Last Vampire.

[9:01] Yep, that's how it's written.

Elliott Kalan

[9:02] Yes.

S1

[9:03] Actually, the two O's look like an infinity symbol.

[9:06] I'm not sure why they did that.

Elliott Kalan

[9:07] It should be, I guess, BL Infinity D, colon, The Last Vampire.

Dan McCoy

[9:12] Or it should have been an 8, like you write a B when you're writing boobs on a calculator.

[9:18] Right.

[9:19] L Infinity D.

Elliott Kalan

[9:19] I would just draw boobs on the calculator.

[9:22] Like on the keypad.

[9:23] Just ruin it.

[9:24] Yeah.

S1

[9:25] I think you can still use it.

[9:26] Sharping.

[9:26] Arr, boobs.

Elliott Kalan

[9:28] Let's sex up this calculator a bit.

[9:29] Yeah, come on.

[9:31] Come on, Texas Instruments.

Dan McCoy

[9:32] T.I., you are not giving me an erection.

Elliott Kalan

[9:37] Let's make T.I.

[9:37] More like T.A.

[9:38] Yeah.

[9:39] High five.

[9:41] R-O-C-K in the USA.

[9:42] Right there.

[9:45] So we saw Blood, The Last Vampire.

[9:47] Yes.

[9:47] Which appears to be an English language Japanese film.

Dan McCoy

[9:53] Yeah.

[9:53] Yes.

[9:54] It's an English language version.

[9:55] It's a live action version of, as they say in the credits, it's based on the animation Blood, The Last Vampire.

[10:03] Mm-hmm.

[10:04] So I guess that's what they say in Japan.

[10:06] Is that common?

[10:07] They don't know.

S1

[10:07] Where an animation becomes a live action film?

[10:10] I mean.

[10:11] Yeah.

[10:11] If it's successful.

[10:12] Dragon Ball Z.

Dan McCoy

[10:13] Which we did for The Flophouse.

[10:15] Was another.

[10:15] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[10:15] And Avatar, The Last Airbender.

[10:17] Mm-hmm.

[10:18] Everyone's favorite.

[10:20] And Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Dan McCoy

[10:23] I don't know if that's an Eastern laird that's not Japanese.

[10:29] I don't.

Elliott Kalan

[10:29] Were we just talking Japanese?

[10:31] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[10:31] Well, I thought it was more common in Japan.

[10:32] You just said animation.

Elliott Kalan

[10:33] In Japan.

[10:34] I think it is more common in Japan.

[10:36] Okay.

[10:38] So resolved.

[10:39] Yes.

[10:40] Done.

[10:40] It was interesting that they said based on the animation, but I guess trying to make it sound adult.

[10:44] Yes.

[10:45] Not based on the cartoon or based on the drawings.

Dan McCoy

[10:47] I guess they're just trying to Americanize the term anime.

[10:52] I mean, like, that would be literal.

Elliott Kalan

[10:53] Well, the American version is Japanimation.

[10:55] Right.

[10:56] Which is what the section in the video store I grew up with labeled it.

[11:00] Japanimation.

S1

[11:01] Uh-huh.

[11:02] I love that term, actually.

[11:03] It's kind of a very true terms.

Elliott Kalan

[11:05] But it's a story we're all familiar with of a young girl.

[11:11] The tale is old as time.

[11:12] The tale is old as time of a young girl of indeterminate centuries of age who fights demons with a sword.

[11:21] Dressed as a schoolgirl.

S1

[11:22] But she started out as a little girl.

Elliott Kalan

[11:24] She starts out as a little girl trained by her old man dad.

[11:27] So we all started out as a little girl.

[11:27] But.

S1

[11:28] Everyone.

[11:29] I'm realizing what I'm saying.

Elliott Kalan

[11:30] And of course she's working with a shadowy organization.

[11:33] Sure.

[11:33] That cleans up after her murders of vampire demons.

[11:36] Right.

[11:37] And she's just trying to get revenge on the vampire demon who killed her father.

[11:40] Called Onegan.

[11:41] Called Onegan.

[11:43] Which, uh.

[11:44] And so for this mission she's sent to an American army base on, in, uh.

[11:48] In Japan.

[11:49] And it's set in 1970.

[11:50] It's a time.

[11:51] For no reason.

[11:52] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[11:52] There's no reason it's a period piece.

Elliott Kalan

[11:53] It's almost like they just, they bought, they bought too many sideburns.

[11:57] Yeah.

[11:59] So they had to turn it into a period piece.

[12:01] Yeah.

[12:01] The sideburn warehouse.

[12:02] Because if not for.

[12:03] We got to gross the sideburns.

[12:04] What do we do with them?

[12:05] And there's one headline that says, uh.

[12:08] U.S. bombers ravish Vietnamese landscape.

[12:12] Which I think they probably meant ravage.

S1

[12:15] And I pointed out they probably meant radish.

[12:17] Yes.

[12:18] Because the radish is very important in Japanese culture.

[12:20] Yeah.

[12:20] That's very true.

[12:21] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[12:21] But they, so they're apparently ravishing the landscape.

[12:24] So I guess these planes are just.

[12:26] Gorgeous.

[12:26] Just, you know, having their, seducing the Vietnamese landscape.

[12:30] Right.

[12:31] Uh, but there's not too much going on in this movie.

[12:35] No, there really isn't.

[12:36] It was short.

[12:37] This might be the shortest movie we've watched.

[12:39] Uh.

[12:40] It's like 84 minutes long.

Dan McCoy

[12:42] No, it was 88.

[12:43] It was 88 minutes.

[12:44] I don't think so.

[12:45] Unlike the movie 88 minutes.

[12:46] Which was in.

[12:47] Two hours.

[12:48] Four minutes.

[12:49] Uh.

[12:50] But it was.

[12:50] Talking about your false advertising.

[12:53] The.

Elliott Kalan

[12:54] But it's basically this girl gets a mission.

[12:58] She wants revenge on this demon.

[13:00] She goes.

[13:01] She kills a lot of demons.

[13:02] Mm-hmm.

[13:02] There's an American girl sidekick.

[13:05] For.

[13:05] And I don't mean by that one of the American girl dolls.

[13:07] Ha.

[13:08] It's not like.

[13:09] It's.

[13:10] It's.

[13:10] Right.

[13:10] It's.

[13:10] You know.

[13:11] But Polly grows up in 1837.

[13:14] But, uh.

[13:16] It's.

[13:16] It seemed very by the numbers.

[13:18] But at the same time.

[13:19] In the way it was made.

[13:20] Totally crazy.

Dan McCoy

[13:22] Yeah.

[13:23] And.

[13:23] Yeah.

[13:24] It was.

[13:24] Yeah.

[13:25] It was really straightforward.

[13:26] There's.

[13:26] She's given a mission to fight demons.

[13:29] Another girl discovers there's demons.

[13:30] And so.

[13:31] She joins in on the mission.

[13:33] And then.

[13:33] And they fight demons.

[13:34] Sort of reluctantly.

S1

[13:35] But then really.

[13:36] Like.

[13:36] She seems to suddenly know everything about demons.

[13:38] Yeah.

[13:39] At the end.

[13:39] She's had no experience with them before.

[13:41] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[13:41] Yeah.

[13:41] There's a long flashback at the end to the demon hunting girl getting trained.

[13:46] Or like.

[13:47] I guess.

[13:47] And her.

Elliott Kalan

[13:48] And her father being killed.

[13:49] Right.

[13:49] And then.

[13:50] And then.

S1

[13:50] And they have flashbacks within flashbacks of things we've never seen before.

[13:53] Yes.

[13:54] Of her training.

[13:55] That was pretty awesome.

[13:55] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[13:56] And then.

[13:56] It turns out at the end that the head demon is.

[13:59] Was her mother.

[14:00] And.

[14:01] That's it.

[14:01] What?

[14:01] And then she kills her.

[14:02] And that's the end of the movie.

[14:03] How did that happen?

S1

[14:03] I don't remember that.

Elliott Kalan

[14:04] It's in the climax of the film.

[14:05] What?

[14:06] It literally announced maybe five times during the climax of the film.

[14:10] Yeah.

S1

[14:11] But I am your mother.

[14:12] Now you must kill me.

[14:14] Because I am your mother.

[14:15] Yeah.

[14:15] To become me.

Dan McCoy

[14:17] Why?

[14:17] Why was the American girl in this movie, guys?

S1

[14:20] I have no idea.

[14:21] To get.

[14:22] She is.

[14:23] A part.

[14:24] She's good looking.

[14:24] The audience identification character.

Elliott Kalan

[14:26] She's.

[14:26] She's a pretty girl.

[14:27] She's pretty.

[14:28] But then she.

[14:29] Which is what we all want to be.

[14:31] A pretty girl.

[14:32] Young pretty girl.

[14:33] Who's having trouble with her arm.

[14:34] Her one star general father.

[14:35] Right.

Dan McCoy

[14:35] A girl who looks kind of like a cross between Ellie.

[14:38] Ellen Page and a.

[14:39] And Ellie Cailin.

[14:40] That's what you were going to say.

[14:41] You were going to say Ellie Cailin and Ellen Page.

S1

[14:44] I can't think of a prettier combination.

[14:46] Ravishing Ellie Cailin.

[14:48] Radishing.

[14:50] Radishing.

[14:50] I've been told I'm radishing.

[14:52] I'm sure.

Elliott Kalan

[14:53] You're very tart like a radish.

[14:58] But she's in.

[14:59] She's basically.

[15:00] She's supposed to be the star of the movie.

[15:02] Basically.

[15:03] But she is not interesting.

[15:05] And the real star is the.

[15:07] Japanese.

[15:08] Girl with the super sword skills.

Dan McCoy

[15:09] She has more.

[15:10] She has more.

[15:10] You know.

[15:11] It being an English language movie.

[15:12] She has more lines.

[15:14] Than the real star.

[15:15] She says more words.

[15:16] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[15:16] But that's also because the real star is like the silent mysterious type.

S1

[15:20] But there's no reason for her to be there.

[15:21] Other than.

[15:22] True.

[15:23] She's.

[15:24] She's being attacked by demons.

[15:25] And.

[15:26] What was the.

[15:27] The main character.

[15:28] Shia.

[15:29] Shia.

[15:30] Shia.

S1

[15:30] Shia.

[15:31] Shia.

[15:31] Shia LaBeouf.

[15:33] Um.

[15:34] Is there to save her from the demons.

[15:36] But.

[15:36] It could have been anyone.

[15:37] His name.

Elliott Kalan

[15:38] By the way.

[15:38] His name in French means.

[15:39] Shia the beef.

[15:40] Yes.

[15:40] I'm familiar with that.

[15:42] Ah.

[15:42] Interesting.

Dan McCoy

[15:44] So what would that be in Spanish, Fed?

S1

[15:46] Shia.

[15:47] La carne.

[15:48] Wow.

Dan McCoy

[15:49] Beautiful.

[15:50] It's a beautiful language.

[15:51] Yes.

[15:51] That's.

Elliott Kalan

[15:52] Dan.

[15:53] Are you.

[15:53] Are you fanning yourself?

[15:55] Are you coming on to me?

[15:55] Like a southern lady?

[15:57] You're coming on to me.

[15:57] In the antebellum self?

[15:58] Oh my god.

[15:59] I declare.

S1

[16:00] Mr. Fed.

[16:01] This is why you invited me over.

Dan McCoy

[16:03] Um.

[16:04] I just.

[16:04] It's a very strange.

[16:05] Yeah.

[16:05] He's not even recording right now.

[16:08] This is all made of a.

[16:09] This is.

[16:09] Paper mache and marzipan.

[16:12] That's why it's so delicious.

[16:16] Delicious and.

[16:18] Flowery.

[16:19] Deadly.

[16:19] But um.

[16:20] The.

[16:21] The scene where.

[16:23] The demons reveal themselves.

[16:24] To the American girl.

[16:25] Is very strange.

[16:26] Because.

[16:27] Like.

[16:28] You know.

[16:28] I'm just going to call.

[16:29] Our hero blood.

[16:30] The last vampire.

[16:31] Because I don't know.

[16:31] What her actual character was.

[16:33] Her name was Sia.

[16:33] Sia.

[16:34] Sia.

Elliott Kalan

[16:34] That's right.

[16:35] Sia.

[16:35] And the American girl.

[16:36] Was either named Alice.

[16:37] Allison.

[16:39] Hollis.

[16:39] Or Annis.

[16:40] Annis.

Dan McCoy

[16:41] There are a lot of.

[16:42] Different accents.

[16:43] Screaming her name.

[16:45] Throughout the movie.

[16:45] So it's hard to tell.

S1

[16:46] It sounds different.

[16:47] Every time someone.

Elliott Kalan

[16:48] And I think she might be the only.

[16:49] Actually American.

[16:51] Actress.

[16:52] Or actor in the film.

[16:53] Everyone else.

S1

[16:54] Everyone else that was American.

[16:55] In quotes.

[16:57] Like.

[16:58] For a while.

[16:58] Sounded American.

[16:59] And then suddenly.

[17:00] They'd say something.

[17:00] And.

[17:00] Their accent would drift.

[17:01] Hey.

[17:02] Come over here.

[17:02] You girl.

[17:04] That wasn't quite.

[17:06] You've got to do what she says.

[17:08] I mean.

[17:08] Says.

[17:09] They were correcting themselves.

[17:12] It was really weird.

[17:14] But yeah.

[17:14] They all seem to be.

[17:15] They could have just cut.

[17:15] And said.

[17:16] Do that line again.

[17:17] But no.

[17:17] Nope.

[17:17] But just let it go.

Elliott Kalan

[17:18] They said.

[17:19] We're running out of film.

[17:19] Let's just keep it rolling.

Dan McCoy

[17:20] It's the last vampire effect.

[17:22] They don't have a lot of time.

[17:23] Good point.

[17:24] But they.

[17:24] No.

[17:25] There was a.

[17:25] Like.

[17:26] Sia infiltrates this school.

[17:28] This military based school.

[17:30] Where I guess these two demons reveal themselves to Alice.

[17:36] And get mad at her.

[17:37] Because Alice had an insight about Frankenstein.

[17:41] In the English class.

[17:42] Right.

[17:42] In their English class.

Elliott Kalan

[17:44] Alice has a very potent insight.

[17:47] Probing into Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

[17:49] They're the two catty girls who don't like her.

[17:55] Then stay with her after kendo practice.

[17:59] Because they're on the kendo team.

[18:01] Of course.

[18:02] As many American kids are.

[18:03] And turn into demons.

[18:06] And are going to kill her before Blood the Last Vampire saves her.

[18:09] And it.

[18:11] Yeah.

[18:12] They just.

[18:12] The demons just suddenly start not liking Alice.

[18:14] And wanting to kill her for no reason.

[18:16] And revealing themselves.

Dan McCoy

[18:17] I mean I guess you know like Alice is.

[18:18] Because then she.

[18:19] They figure Alice is going to die.

[18:20] But it's very strange.

[18:20] Because then she goes to.

Elliott Kalan

[18:21] She goes to a bar.

[18:23] Yeah.

[18:23] And the kendo teacher is there.

[18:26] And he's like.

[18:27] She confronts him.

[18:28] She confronts him.

[18:29] You knew they were trying to hurt me.

[18:30] And then he's like.

[18:32] Well there's been a war between your kind and mine.

[18:35] And he turns into a demon.

[18:36] And everyone in the bar turns into demons.

[18:38] They chase after her.

S1

[18:39] Why her?

[18:39] It wasn't like her father was like.

[18:41] The head.

[18:43] Demon killer.

[18:44] Yeah.

[18:44] Or they're trying to get to him or something.

Elliott Kalan

[18:46] And unless we missed it.

[18:47] There's never a scene where a character says like.

[18:49] The prophecy says.

[18:50] Only in a.

[18:51] You know.

[18:51] You will.

[18:52] Blah blah blah blah.

S1

[18:52] The only true American among.

[18:54] Fake American accents.

[18:56] You know.

[18:56] Will bring us all to.

Dan McCoy

[18:59] Yeah.

[19:01] To an end.

[19:01] Instead the kendo teacher just turns into.

[19:04] Like a cross between.

[19:05] The guyver.

[19:06] And.

[19:07] Yes.

[19:07] The.

[19:08] The.

[19:08] The creeper from Jeepers Creepers.

[19:11] Yeah.

[19:11] And flies off with.

S1

[19:12] There were some neat moments though.

[19:14] In that.

[19:14] That sequence.

[19:15] Like when he.

[19:16] He.

[19:16] He grabs.

[19:17] He grabs Allison.

[19:18] And then goes running along the.

[19:20] The.

[19:21] The building tops.

[19:23] No.

[19:23] Yeah.

[19:24] Look.

[19:24] Some of the scenes.

[19:25] It gets.

[19:26] It looks really good.

[19:27] The.

[19:27] A lot.

[19:27] Interesting.

Elliott Kalan

[19:28] Yeah.

[19:28] Well a lot of the movie is super.

[19:30] Stylized.

[19:31] Like.

[19:31] In a very.

[19:34] Like.

[19:35] Almost like.

[19:36] Kung fu hustle.

[19:38] Shaolin soccer type of way.

[19:39] But also like.

[19:40] If.

[19:40] If you've seen like.

[19:42] Versus.

[19:42] Or.

[19:43] Azumi.

[19:44] Or any of those.

[19:45] Movies.

[19:45] It's like.

[19:46] Everything is.

[19:48] Cut.

[19:49] Cut.

[19:49] Camera swooshing around.

[19:50] Oh.

[19:50] Slow down.

[19:51] Fast again.

[19:52] Okay.

[19:52] Look at that.

[19:53] Super cut.

[19:54] And then you go.

[19:54] And it was done for no.

S1

[19:56] For no effect.

[19:57] No reason.

[19:57] And there was all this fake.

[19:59] CG.

[20:00] CG blood everywhere.

[20:01] Yeah.

[20:01] All the blood was.

Elliott Kalan

[20:02] Was CG.

[20:03] And like.

[20:04] The demon blood.

[20:04] I guess.

[20:05] Was supposed to look different.

[20:06] Than the human blood.

[20:07] But they all looked.

[20:07] It all looked the same.

S1

[20:08] Never stain anything.

[20:09] She's like.

[20:10] Fighting in a white dress.

[20:11] And never gets any blood on her.

[20:13] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[20:14] But it was.

[20:14] But like.

[20:15] But the action scenes were genuinely.

[20:17] Fun.

[20:17] Like the choreography.

[20:18] You couldn't figure out.

[20:19] Because it was cutting.

[20:19] But it was still.

[20:20] Neat moments.

Dan McCoy

[20:21] Yeah.

[20:21] Well it's weird too.

[20:22] Like.

[20:23] You know.

[20:23] Sometimes bad.

[20:24] Special effects are charming.

[20:25] And sometimes they're just.

[20:27] Off-putting.

[20:27] And like.

[20:28] All the CG blood.

[20:29] Looks like.

[20:29] You know.

[20:30] Shots of.

[20:32] You know.

[20:32] Like milk and zero gravity.

[20:34] Or something like that.

[20:34] Yes.

[20:35] It did.

[20:35] Whereas like.

[20:36] Like fudge.

[20:37] Just fudge spurting out of things.

[20:39] The monster on the other hand.

[20:41] Like the bad animation.

[20:42] Kind of made him look like.

[20:43] An old.

[20:44] Like.

[20:44] Old fashioned.

[20:45] Like.

[20:45] Stop motion.

[20:46] Yeah.

[20:46] There was something charming about it.

[20:48] So.

[20:50] Release the guyver.

[20:52] Exactly.

[20:53] Oh by the way.

[20:55] This is.

[20:56] I don't know why I feel very dispecified this.

[20:58] Because this is so stupid.

[20:59] But.

[21:00] This is our first.

[21:02] Shocktober episode of the season.

[21:04] Oh you forgot that.

S1

[21:05] Oh yeah.

[21:05] This is.

Elliott Kalan

[21:05] I think.

[21:06] No.

[21:06] We should go back.

[21:07] 22 minutes in was the right time to announce that.

Dan McCoy

[21:09] To reveal it.

[21:10] Blood the last vampire was our Shocktober.

[21:13] Shocktober.

[21:13] Episode number one.

Elliott Kalan

[21:14] It's really not a.

[21:15] Not a horror movie.

[21:17] Well there's a vampire in it.

[21:18] So much as an action.

[21:20] A gory action movie.

[21:22] And an old man.

[21:23] An old man gets covered in knives.

[21:25] And then his hands get cut off.

[21:26] It's a Shocktober movie.

Dan McCoy

[21:27] Well as you pointed out Elliot.

[21:30] Shocktober just means that there's a.

[21:32] 4% more chance that we'll watch a horror oriented film.

Elliott Kalan

[21:36] As opposed to something where Catherine Heigl and Gerard Butler.

[21:38] Right.

[21:39] Gad about for a while.

[21:40] Before falling in love.

Dan McCoy

[21:42] Yeah.

[21:42] Gad about.

[21:43] That's the best way to describe it.

Elliott Kalan

[21:46] I was.

[21:46] Toast of the town.

[21:47] I was trying to explain to someone recently.

[21:50] How bad the movie The Ugly Truth is.

[21:52] And I was having trouble getting across without just describing scenes outright.

[21:55] And saying lines of dialogue from it.

[21:58] In Gerard Butler's terrible.

[22:00] Like really over enunciated American accent.

[22:04] You don't understand.

[22:05] Guys only want sex.

[22:07] Come on.

[22:08] Don't you get it girl.

[22:09] I'm a truth teller.

[22:11] An ugly truth teller.

[22:12] I'm the last sane man.

[22:15] In a world gone mad.

[22:17] He never says that.

[22:19] He doesn't.

S1

[22:20] Well this film had a lot of really bad lines that were just like lifted from other films.

[22:25] What is he?

[22:27] You've gone soft old man.

[22:29] Yeah.

[22:30] I've heard that a thousand times.

Elliott Kalan

[22:31] Now who's stupid?

[22:33] Exactly.

[22:34] After he shoots somebody.

S1

[22:35] I was almost waiting to hear something like.

[22:37] I'm getting too old for this shit.

[22:38] Yeah.

[22:39] It's quiet.

[22:40] Too quiet.

[22:41] Exactly.

[22:42] Well yeah.

[22:42] Show me the money.

Elliott Kalan

[22:44] And the.

[22:45] You complete me.

Dan McCoy

[22:46] Yeah.

[22:47] I wish I could.

[22:48] I wish I knew how to quit you.

[22:50] The general character.

[22:51] The father of the.

[22:54] I could have saved more.

Elliott Kalan

[22:56] From Chandler's list.

[22:57] I could have been somebody.

[22:58] Yeah.

[22:59] That old line.

[23:00] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[23:02] The father of Alice.

[23:04] I think that in terms of bad performances.

[23:08] I think he rates only second to Chris Klein.

[23:11] In The Legend of Chun-Li.

[23:12] In Street Fighter.

[23:13] The Legend of Chun-Li.

[23:15] Yeah.

[23:15] I didn't see that one.

Elliott Kalan

[23:16] That is a.

[23:18] Also bad movie.

[23:20] And Chris Klein is in it.

[23:21] And it's like.

[23:22] It's like he.

[23:24] Someone bet him.

[23:25] You can't emphasize every syllable that you say.

Dan McCoy

[23:30] Yeah.

[23:31] He and Nicolas Cage got drunk one night.

[23:35] And they're like.

[23:36] The next movie that we do.

[23:37] Let's just try and outdo each other.

[23:39] Let's see if we can do it worse.

[23:41] And like.

[23:41] Chris Klein won.

[23:42] Chris Klein won that bet.

Elliott Kalan

[23:44] So yeah.

[23:45] There's a lot of bad.

[23:46] This is not a good.

[23:46] This is like a very forgettable.

[23:49] Movie.

S1

[23:50] I'm having a hard time.

[23:51] Remembering it.

[23:52] Right now.

[23:52] Remembering scenes from it.

[23:54] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[23:54] But it zips along.

[23:56] That's true.

[23:56] It's got super fast editing.

[23:58] If you like that.

S1

[23:58] As you said.

[23:59] You said.

[24:00] Hey.

[24:00] It was.

[24:01] It was quick.

[24:01] It was short.

[24:03] Very excitedly.

[24:04] You said that at the end of the movie.

[24:05] Yeah.

[24:05] We're done with it.

Elliott Kalan

[24:06] Yeah.

[24:07] I was very excited.

[24:08] Because we've been watching a lot of movies lately that have felt like they've been about

[24:11] seven hours long.

[24:13] Right.

[24:13] And there have been long scenes of people just walking around or looking at things.

[24:18] Or Robin Williams and John Travolta.

[24:20] Like comparing how many pills they take for their old age problems.

[24:24] You know.

[24:24] Mugging.

S1

[24:24] Mugging to the camera.

Elliott Kalan

[24:26] I think so.

[24:26] Yeah.

[24:26] After a movie like Whiteout.

[24:28] Yeah.

[24:28] This is just a delight.

[24:31] You know.

Dan McCoy

[24:32] I mean.

[24:33] This has short scenes of people getting cut with a katana.

Elliott Kalan

[24:37] Yeah.

[24:38] Right.

[24:38] People jumping around and getting blood spurting out of them.

[24:40] Fake blood.

[24:41] Yes.

[24:41] And monsters suddenly remembering they can grow wings.

[24:45] And using them to fly away.

[24:46] Right.

S1

[24:46] So there was this whole scene where the monster grabs Allison or Hollis or Aniston or whatever

[24:52] her name is.

[24:53] And drags her across the rooftop.

[24:55] She's being chased by Saya.

[24:57] The Japanese schoolgirl with the katana blade.

[25:01] And then suddenly it's like, ah, I can fly.

[25:03] I'm going to fly.

[25:04] And flies away.

[25:06] But flies away in a straight line following a road.

[25:09] Pretty low to the ground.

[25:10] Pretty low to the ground.

[25:11] So that they can chase it through the streets.

[25:15] He's following.

[25:15] Very easily.

Elliott Kalan

[25:16] And they get to a runway.

[25:18] And he's following a cargo plane with propellers on it.

[25:21] And we're all expecting him to get cut off in those propellers.

[25:24] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[25:24] He's going to get sucked through those propellers.

[25:25] Nope.

[25:25] Doesn't happen.

S1

[25:26] Or grab onto the plane.

[25:27] Or like, why did he fly to the air base?

Dan McCoy

[25:32] Yeah.

[25:33] It seems very expensive for them to shoot on.

Elliott Kalan

[25:35] And also, somehow, in between cuts, our main characters have gone from,

[25:41] running from the monster to chasing the monster.

[25:43] Oh, right.

[25:43] Exactly.

[25:44] Yes.

[25:44] It's a movie that really follows no rules.

[25:47] It breaks.

[25:48] It knows the rules are made to be broken.

S1

[25:49] And you get the idea that, well, she can get on the army base or, you know, whatever,

[25:53] because her father is the one-star general.

[25:57] So they all know her.

[25:58] But there's never a scene of like, you know, let me in.

[26:00] Or, you know, don't you know who I am?

[26:02] Or something.

[26:02] She just drives right in.

[26:03] Like, well, she could have done that anywhere.

Dan McCoy

[26:05] It's a poorly guarded army base.

S1

[26:07] It was so great.

Dan McCoy

[26:08] One thing army bases are not known for is their security.

[26:12] That's a good point.

Elliott Kalan

[26:12] The same way also that, like, when they're fighting a band of demons in the streets,

[26:16] and then just being chased through the streets, they're in, I think, the, if it's the correct

[26:22] name, the Ginza neighborhood, which is where, like, all the bars and things are, which should

[26:26] be, the streets should be packed with people.

[26:28] Sure.

[26:29] But no, it's empty.

[26:30] Completely empty.

[26:30] Except for demons.

[26:31] It's like, it's like the whole city just took, just went on vacation.

S1

[26:35] Oh, and then the two cleaners just come up and, like, in, like, five minutes clean up,

[26:39] like, what, a hundred bodies?

[26:41] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[26:41] Well, that's the other thing is that everywhere that the heroine goes, she's followed by two

[26:46] identical guys who are bald and have mustaches.

[26:49] They look like, uh, um.

[26:51] What are their names?

[26:52] What's his name?

[26:52] From, uh.

[26:54] From Tintin?

[26:54] From Lovely Bones?

S1

[26:55] Yeah, and they look like two Stanley Tucci's.

Elliott Kalan

[26:57] Two Stanley Tucci's.

[26:58] Yeah, or, like, the two guys from Tintin with no bowler hats.

[27:00] Yeah.

[27:00] And they just walk, they just clean up all the bodies and leave, but they have, like, supernatural

[27:04] cleaning powers.

[27:05] Right.

Dan McCoy

[27:06] By the way, you know, as long as he wasn't the character from Lovely Bones, what would

[27:11] be more fun than two Stanley Tucci's?

[27:13] That's a good point.

[27:15] Let's say he's the characters from Burlesque.

Elliott Kalan

[27:18] Coming soon to The Itter Nere You, Christine Aguilera.

[27:21] Okay.

[27:21] The movie that posits that there is an enormous, glitzy, underground burlesque scene in L.A.

[27:26] That has a lot of money flowing through it.

[27:29] Isn't there?

[27:30] And also that the plot of Coyote Ugly can just be taken wholesale.

[27:34] Ah.

Dan McCoy

[27:35] By the way, Coyote Ugly and Showgirls, the same movie, two different ratings.

Elliott Kalan

[27:40] I mean, you know.

[27:41] I can think of the reason why Coyote Ugly has a different rating than Showgirls.

[27:45] No, I know, I know.

Dan McCoy

[27:46] I'm not arguing that the ratings.

[27:48] It's probably the full frontal nudity.

[27:49] I'm not arguing that the different ratings are wrong.

[27:52] I'm just saying, like, if you boil it down, there are two movies that have the same plot

[27:57] that are going after the same thing.

[27:59] Only one of them has the courage of its convictions, and the other one is like, eh, maybe we'll

[28:03] throw a thong in here.

[28:06] You've really thought about this.

[28:07] I have.

[28:08] This is an axe you are grinding.

[28:09] This is my thesis.

Elliott Kalan

[28:11] This is my thesis.

[28:12] Your dissertation.

[28:13] Why are you sweating?

[28:14] For your doctorate in crap.

[28:18] Your PhD in shit from...

[28:21] Sorry.

Dan McCoy

[28:21] Elliot, why do I think I...

[28:23] Did I go too far?

[28:23] This podcast is part of my PhD.

[28:28] It's your ongoing thesis.

[28:29] Dissertation.

Elliott Kalan

[28:30] Your ongoing thesis is called Life.

[28:32] Mm-hmm.

[28:33] From the school Hard Knocks.

[28:34] Dearly beloved.

Dan McCoy

[28:35] We're going to gather here today.

[28:38] Anyway.

[28:39] So, yeah, let's...

[28:41] What more can we...

[28:42] So, Blood the Last Vampire, you know, it is what it is.

[28:45] Let's just make some judgments.

[28:46] Let's be real.

[28:47] I've already forgotten about it.

[28:47] Okay, well, I like your glasses.

[28:49] Let's be real fucking judgmental up in here.

[28:50] All right.

[28:51] We're going to do the final judgments.

S1

[28:52] Dun, dun, dun, dun.

Dan McCoy

[28:54] Final judgments.

[28:55] Dun, dun, dun, dun.

S1

[28:55] How does he say that?

[28:56] That was good.

[28:57] No, I like your variation.

[28:58] Bum, bum, bum, bum.

Elliott Kalan

[28:59] That's...

[29:00] That's a lot.

[29:01] That seems...

[29:02] That's the Planet of the Apes soundtrack.

S1

[29:03] Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

Elliott Kalan

[29:06] No, that's too much.

[29:10] Okay.

[29:11] You're giving us a wide variety of options.

S1

[29:14] No, just cut them together.

[29:16] Just...

[29:16] Make something musical.

Dan McCoy

[29:21] Yeah.

[29:22] Final judgments.

[29:23] I was waiting for it to go to the National Geographic theme.

S1

[29:27] That's actually...

[29:28] No, that's National Geographic, right?

[29:30] Yeah.

[29:30] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[29:32] Well, it's usually not done like...

[29:34] As if you're trying to make sure nobody hears it.

Dan McCoy

[29:37] I remember that mainly from the beginning of Twilight Zone, the movie.

[29:42] Look at that old man.

[29:43] He looks like an old ape.

[29:45] Bum, bum.

[29:46] That may be the best thing in Twilight Zone, the movie.

[29:49] It's Albert Brooks and Dan Aykroyd at the beginning.

[29:52] They're like going through it.

[29:53] Oh, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[29:54] That's the only good scene in the whole movie.

[29:55] They're playing the lucky movie.

[29:56] That's not true.

[29:56] I like that.

Dan McCoy

[29:57] That's great.

[29:59] Anyway, final judgments.

[30:00] Is this a good bad movie?

[30:01] A bad, bad movie?

[30:02] A movie you actually kind of liked in some way?

[30:04] Fed, go.

S1

[30:06] I think it's a bad, bad movie.

[30:09] I really did not...

[30:10] I enjoyed a few moments, a few shots, a few scenes, or moments of scenes were interesting.

[30:17] But in general, it was just really...

[30:19] I didn't find it amusing.

[30:22] There wasn't enough of a...

[30:24] Well, I laughed, but I didn't laugh for the right reasons.

[30:27] It wasn't trying to make me laugh, and it wasn't...

[30:30] It took itself way too seriously, and I did not really care for it.

[30:34] I enjoyed hanging out with you guys, though.

[30:36] Thanks.

Elliott Kalan

[30:38] You'd recommend that to the viewers, to the listeners.

S1

[30:40] I'd recommend hanging out with you guys, watching a bad movie.

[30:42] You could swing it.

Dan McCoy

[30:44] Then it's too long.

[30:45] Yeah, I would...

[30:46] What I would say about this is...

[30:48] I hate to be wishy-washy.

[30:50] I feel like we've...

[30:51] No, you don't.

[30:51] ...gotten to an area of non-answers recently.

[30:55] But talk about quadrants.

[30:57] I feel like this...

[30:58] I mean, I guess they're tridents.

[31:01] This...

Elliott Kalan

[31:02] I am so confused.

Dan McCoy

[31:04] This occupies all three tridents of...

Elliott Kalan

[31:07] Like, tridents like you would use when you're spearfishing?

[31:11] What do you mean, gum?

[31:12] Yeah, what is...

[31:13] Like trident gum?

Dan McCoy

[31:14] I mean, this is a good, bad movie in the sense that it is not a well-made movie, but I enjoyed much of it.

[31:22] It's a bad, bad movie in that much of it is deeply boring.

[31:26] Uh-huh.

[31:27] And it's a movie I actually kind of liked in some way in the sense that I don't think it's good because I laughed at it.

[31:34] Like, the stuff that I enjoyed in it...

[31:36] You enjoyed it genuinely.

[31:37] I enjoyed it genuinely.

[31:39] Like, so it's sort of a hard call to make.

[31:41] I would say...

[31:42] Not for me.

[31:43] If you turned it off after, like, maybe 40 minutes, you might have, like, a genuinely enjoyable experience with this movie.

[31:50] Because it gets really silly and crazy for a while, and then it gets boring in the end.

[31:55] Yeah.

[31:55] It gets duller, actually, as it goes on.

S1

[31:58] And the ending makes even less sense than the rest of the movie.

Dan McCoy

[32:00] Yeah.

[32:01] I would say, like, go through, like, the big, like, weird massacre in the town square, and, like, right up until the demon, like, getting killed on the airstrip, and then that's enough.

Elliott Kalan

[32:15] Yeah.

[32:15] You can turn it off right there.

[32:16] You can turn it off.

[32:17] Because I...

[32:17] No, we didn't.

[32:19] We didn't.

[32:20] No.

[32:20] No, we watch a whole movie.

[32:21] We watch the whole thing.

[32:22] We do this for the...

[32:22] We watch it so they don't have to.

[32:24] Yeah, exactly.

[32:25] And don't want to.

[32:26] Uh-huh.

[32:28] I feel the same way you do, Dan.

[32:30] Like, it's not a good movie.

[32:31] I wouldn't really recommend it, necessarily, but I did enjoy big chunks of it.

[32:35] So I feel like if it's one of those things where, like, if it was 1.30 in the morning, and you wanted to watch some kind of violent demon battle, and then go to bed...

[32:49] That's your movie.

[32:49] Yeah, dial this up on your Netflix instant queue.

[32:52] Perfect.

[32:53] And maybe, like, after the town square, you could fast forward to the fight between the ninja demons and the old man, where he gets, you know, stabbed to death.

S1

[33:01] Actually, that scene was actually...

[33:03] That was kind of cool.

[33:04] There was, like, um...

[33:06] They were coming out of the ground, and that was interesting.

[33:08] But for me, it's...

Dan McCoy

[33:09] And she ran up a tree for no reason and then slid down, stabbing a guy with the eye.

[33:13] Yeah, and a sword in a guy's eye.

S1

[33:14] That's where they had the flashback of a flashback of something we'd never seen before.

Elliott Kalan

[33:18] And they have, like, a sword.

[33:21] There's a demon that's underground, and his sword is running...

[33:23] Like a land shark.

[33:24] It's like Bugs Bunny going through, you know, burrowing underground with just a sword sticking up.

[33:29] I kind of like that, actually.

[33:30] Yeah.

[33:31] But getting there is...

[33:33] It's like...

[33:34] Getting there is not half the fun.

[33:35] Yes.

S1

[33:36] And there's not enough of that for me to say it's a good, bad movie.

[33:39] Yeah.

[33:39] And that's why I just...

Elliott Kalan

[33:40] If ever there was a movie that you...

[33:43] It is fine to watch the best scenes out of context, and there's no reason to watch the rest of it, you know.

S1

[33:49] If someone gave you a cheat sheet and said, jump to minute 12 and watch until minute 22, and then jump to this minute and watch these five minutes...

[33:57] You will know that they have spent too much time watching them.

[34:00] I'm saying...

[34:00] Right.

Dan McCoy

[34:02] Go ahead and watch the fight scenes.

[34:04] Watch any scene that is, like, supposedly filled with 1970s flavor, or where the general is talking to his daughter, because he is a terrible actor.

Elliott Kalan

[34:14] Yeah.

[34:14] But the rest of it...

[34:15] I mean, it's other stuff you might not get if you skip, because it's a pretty subtle movie.

[34:18] Like, when you first see the army base, they play War, What Is It Good For? on the soundtrack, and it's like...

[34:23] That's kind of a subtle touch.

[34:24] Uh-huh.

[34:25] The movie's taking a bold anti-Vietnam War stance.

Dan McCoy

[34:28] The movie's asking a question.

[34:30] War, what is it good for?

Elliott Kalan

[34:32] Yeah.

[34:32] And I guess ridding the world of demon vampires.

Dan McCoy

[34:35] Right.

[34:36] Mm-hmm.

[34:37] So I guess now we should move on.

[34:40] Before we get into recommendations, I think we'll go to plugs.

Elliott Kalan

[34:45] Oh.

[34:45] Let's mix it up.

[34:46] Yeah, let's do the plugs now, so that people don't skip over them.

[34:49] Yeah.

[34:49] No, no, no.

S1

[34:50] So they can't skip over them.

[34:52] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[34:52] That's what I do.

[34:53] As soon as I listen to...

[34:54] What did I say?

[34:54] You know, I listen to this podcast every week.

[34:57] Well, whenever it's on.

[34:59] And I always...

[35:01] Don't rub it in.

[35:02] Whenever I hear plugs, I'm like, forget it.

[35:05] I grab my iPod and I throw it on the ground and smash it.

[35:08] Really?

[35:08] I'm not going to listen to this.

Elliott Kalan

[35:09] That seems...

[35:10] You could just press pause or, you know...

S1

[35:12] No, no.

[35:13] We are responsible for such a waste.

[35:14] I don't want to even hear the plugs.

[35:17] It's just like...

[35:18] I don't even want to near my ears.

[35:19] Well, I apologize.

[35:20] Yeah.

[35:21] Well, it's very costly for me, but...

Elliott Kalan

[35:24] Hopefully it's...

[35:26] You get a bulk discount.

[35:29] Elliot, what do you want to...

[35:30] I buy them blister packs.

[35:32] What do you want to plug?

[35:33] What will I plug?

[35:35] Well, well, well.

Dan McCoy

[35:38] Seven pounds.

Elliott Kalan

[35:40] Well, I won't plug that.

[35:41] That's terrible.

[35:43] I host a monthly film screening series in New York City,

[35:47] The City of Angels.

[35:48] That's not the thing.

[35:50] The Big Apple.

[35:51] The Big Angel.

[35:52] Yeah.

[35:53] Good town.

[35:53] Windy City.

[35:55] The Red Planet.

[35:56] Take a bite out of the...

[35:57] Save the broad shoulders.

[35:59] Satchmo.

[36:00] I stole that joke from someone else.

[36:02] JFK blown away.

[36:04] It's not even a name for a thing.

[36:06] It's a line from a song.

[36:07] That's a good question, yeah.

[36:09] Come on.

[36:10] I've often said that once it gets to rock and roll

[36:12] or color war,

[36:13] I can't really take it anymore.

[36:15] But the...

[36:17] I host a monthly film screening and film screening series

[36:20] in New York City.

[36:21] Closely watch films.

[36:22] Our next one is next week.

[36:24] Will this be going up this weekend, Dan?

[36:26] Yes, it will go up this weekend.

[36:27] So this coming week,

[36:28] Wednesday, October 6th,

[36:31] at 7.30pm,

[36:33] I'll be showing the film The Black Cat,

[36:36] starring Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff.

[36:38] The best of the movies they made together.

[36:40] And the first of the movies they made together,

[36:42] directed by Edgar G. Ulmer,

[36:43] which involves Bela Lugosi as an insane psychiatrist.

[36:49] He's the hero of the film.

[36:51] Really?

[36:51] Boris Karloff as a satanic architect

[36:54] who has the best pajamas I've seen in a movie.

[36:58] There's something...

[36:59] The movie is very...

[37:00] has a very neat kind of like

[37:01] art deco gothic look to it.

[37:04] And for some reason,

[37:05] that means some of the best men's pajamas

[37:07] that I've seen in movies.

[37:08] But it's a movie that...

[37:10] It's one of the universal horror films of the 30s.

[37:12] And it's one of the lesser watched ones

[37:15] because there's no like big name monster in it.

[37:18] But it's a very creepy, weird movie.

[37:20] And like there's Satanism and torture

[37:25] and general weirdness and death and creepiness

[37:29] and like World War I guilt and things like that.

[37:33] Like it's this weird stew of elements.

[37:36] And it's a very haunting movie.

[37:38] So I'll be showing that.

[37:39] And then I'll also be showing in a very cut down version.

[37:42] That I'll be showing in full on 35mm print.

[37:45] And then I have edited down the movie Dr. X

[37:49] starring Lionel Atwill

[37:50] from its original run of 75 minutes

[37:53] down to about 8.5, 9 minutes.

[37:55] And I'll be showing you just the best parts

[37:57] of the Lee Tracy, Lionel Atwill

[38:00] semi, not really a classic, but it's pretty fun,

[38:03] Dr. X.

[38:04] Which is another weird...

[38:06] It's another weird one in that

[38:07] it's a 30s horror movie that involves like

[38:09] cannibal murderers

[38:11] and things like...

[38:12] Things that you would not expect to find in a 30s movie.

S1

[38:14] Well, I was going to ask you this.

[38:16] So first of all, where do you get the prints from?

Elliott Kalan

[38:18] The prints, the people at 92i Tribeca

[38:20] where the movies are screened.

[38:22] I should say that.

[38:23] It's at 92i Tribeca

[38:24] which is 200 Hudson Street downtown in Tribeca.

[38:27] And I hope Dan will put up the information

[38:29] on the website.

[38:30] I will.

[38:30] Thank you.

[38:31] They get the prints from different distributors

[38:34] and Christina, who is the programmer there,

[38:38] actually arranges to get them.

[38:39] That's amazing.

Elliott Kalan

[38:40] And we once had to show a 16mm print of closely watched trains

[38:45] because they couldn't find a 35mm.

[38:47] But everything we've shown otherwise is 35mm prints.

[38:50] And we've got a good slew of movies coming up.

[38:53] The Black Cat on Wednesday, October 6th.

[38:56] In November we'll be showing Doddsworth,

[38:58] which is out of print on DVD, I think.

[39:00] And in December we'll be showing A Thousand Clowns,

[39:02] which has never been released on DVD.

[39:05] And they should all be very good prints.

[39:07] Well, that sounds like a Shocktober treat.

[39:11] Thank you.

[39:13] It's very nice of you to say.

[39:15] You can still let him for anything, right?

Dan McCoy

[39:18] So I would like to plug.

[39:20] I mean, well, first of all...

Elliott Kalan

[39:20] It's not a trick, but a treat.

Dan McCoy

[39:24] It's not going to soap the windows.

S1

[39:26] No, or egg the house.

[39:28] Did you just say that all through October,

[39:29] like you're at a restaurant,

[39:30] they're bringing you food.

[39:31] Here's your hamburger, sir.

[39:32] A perfect Shocktober hamburger.

[39:35] What?

Dan McCoy

[39:37] I don't Shocktober know what you're talking about.

Elliott Kalan

[39:41] Well, well, Shocktoberfest again, huh?

[39:44] This beer is spookily good.

Dan McCoy

[39:48] I didn't do our...

[39:49] That reminds me,

[39:50] I didn't do our special Shocktober pacifications.

Elliott Kalan

[39:54] This is, you know, you're a little rusty.

[39:57] It's been a month.

[39:59] A little rusty.

[40:01] Rusty Flophouse.

Dan McCoy

[40:02] Third year in a row of Shocktober,

[40:04] and I have dropped the ball.

[40:05] Yet again.

[40:06] Do you just say it with like a vampire voice?

[40:08] It's like...

[40:08] A terrible movie!

Elliott Kalan

[40:09] Was this scarily bad,

[40:11] or like spookily good?

[40:12] What was it?

Dan McCoy

[40:14] Was this a real scare factory?

[40:17] A real snore factory?

[40:18] Or was it...

[40:21] I don't even know.

Elliott Kalan

[40:21] A duck factory.

[40:23] Starring Jim Carrey.

S1

[40:24] Or did you kind of...

[40:24] Oh, duck factory.

[40:26] Never mind.

Dan McCoy

[40:27] That's better.

[40:28] So I would like to plug...

[40:31] Well, first of all,

[40:32] you should go to 9ammeeting.com

[40:33] and watch the award-winning web series,

[40:37] 9ammeeting.

[40:37] It's very funny.

Elliott Kalan

[40:38] It's a very funny series.

Dan McCoy

[40:40] You sound so grudging when you say it.

Elliott Kalan

[40:42] Well, I just hate...

[40:43] I begrudge anyone else's success.

Dan McCoy

[40:45] No, I know.

[40:46] As anyone in comedy.

[40:47] It's really very strange,

[40:48] because you're so much more successful than me.

Elliott Kalan

[40:50] Well, I like to keep a safe margin

[40:52] between the two of us.

[40:54] So anything you do

[40:54] that closes that margin a little bit.

[40:56] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[40:57] But I also would like to plug...

[40:59] On October the 18th,

[41:02] which is a Monday...

[41:03] I don't know exactly when.

[41:05] I'll put it on the website, so...

[41:07] A moon day.

[41:09] On October the 18th,

[41:10] a screenplay I wrote

[41:13] is being read at the JCC,

[41:17] the Jewish Cultural Center,

[41:18] as part of the WGA East,

[41:21] Writers Guild of America East,

[41:23] reading series.

Elliott Kalan

[41:25] Yeah, don't worry, everybody.

[41:26] Dan did not convert.

[41:27] No.

[41:28] He has not abandoned his faith

[41:29] just to get his screenplay read

[41:30] at the JCC.

Dan McCoy

[41:31] It's true.

[41:32] It was chosen by the Writers Guild.

[41:35] The JCC just happened to be a good venue.

[41:38] And so there are two screenplays

[41:40] that are having excerpts written...

[41:42] or read.

[41:44] 20-page excerpts are going to be read

[41:46] from my screenplay

[41:47] and another gentleman's screenplay

[41:49] by professional actors.

[41:51] Mm-hmm.

[41:51] Very nice.

[41:52] And the cost is $10

[41:54] for the general public,

[41:56] $8, I believe,

[41:57] for guild members.

Elliott Kalan

[41:58] That's me!

[41:59] Yeah.

[42:00] Hey!

[42:00] Only $8.

[42:01] I'll buy a ticket now.

[42:03] Here, Dan.

[42:03] Here's $8.

Dan McCoy

[42:05] Thank you.

Elliott Kalan

[42:06] Can you write me out a ticket?

[42:07] No, I can't,

Dan McCoy

[42:08] but I will enjoy the $8.

[42:09] Doll!

[42:10] But if you want to come

[42:12] and see what qualifies me

[42:15] to make fun of movies,

[42:16] which is nothing,

[42:16] because this is not

[42:20] a produced screenplay,

[42:22] you can do that.

[42:23] You can come and enjoy 20 pages

[42:25] and not know what happens next.

[42:27] And what day is it again?

[42:28] It's October the 18th.

[42:29] That's a Monday.

[42:30] At what time?

[42:31] I think it's at 7.30,

[42:33] but I'm not sure.

Elliott Kalan

[42:33] My screening is also at 7.30.

[42:35] Okay.

[42:36] So that might be a conflict.

Dan McCoy

[42:37] Well, they're on different dates.

[42:39] Oh, great.

Elliott Kalan

[42:39] Okay, then that shouldn't be a problem.

[42:41] Then I can go to both.

[42:42] Yeah.

[42:42] And you can do listeners.

S1

[42:44] So you can't do anything

[42:45] at 7.30 any day?

[42:47] Not if I have, yeah.

[42:50] If you have something coming up

[42:51] at 7.30, then forget it.

[42:52] No.

Elliott Kalan

[42:53] Just come to our stuff.

[42:55] And you'll put up the information

[42:57] on the website

[42:58] for your screenplay reading?

[42:59] Yes.

[43:00] What's the name of your screenplay?

Dan McCoy

[43:02] It's called Orientation.

[43:03] And speaking of demons,

[43:06] it involves demons.

[43:07] Oh.

[43:08] So if you enjoyed the demon elements...

[43:09] From the Orient.

[43:10] Love the Last Vampire.

[43:11] If you like demons,

S1

[43:12] you'll love Orientation.

Dan McCoy

[43:14] Yeah.

[43:15] If you want demons

[43:18] in a 20-page form

[43:19] that does not involve

[43:20] Love the Last Vampire,

[43:21] this is your best option.

[43:22] Sounds pretty good, actually.

[43:24] Yeah.

S1

[43:24] If you're getting your PhD

[43:26] in Demonology,

[43:27] don't forget to show up

[43:28] for the Orientation

[43:30] at the university

[43:32] that teaches Demonology.

[43:34] The JCC.

[43:35] Perfect.

[43:37] I'm just trying to come up

[43:38] with a good...

[43:39] No, no.

[43:40] ...getting a show

[43:40] for your film.

[43:42] I'll get it.

[43:43] Just give me an hour or two.

[43:45] I'll work on it.

[43:46] What do you want to plug, Fed?

[43:48] I have nothing really to plug.

[43:49] Plug the Last Vampire.

[43:50] I'll tell you...

[43:51] That would have been

Elliott Kalan

[43:55] a better movie,

[43:55] Plug the Last Vampire.

[43:57] P-L-Infinity-G.

[44:00] Ploog.

[44:01] Ploog.

[44:01] Comic book artist

[44:02] Mike Ploog.

[44:03] The Last Vampire.

S1

[44:05] Well, I'll just mention again

[44:09] that I do this podcast

[44:11] called Budomac.

[44:12] It's a Spanish-language podcast

[44:14] about Apple

[44:15] and its products and so on.

[44:17] I'm doing it for four years.

[44:22] I'll say it again.

[44:23] Much to my surprise,

[44:24] it's wildly successful.

[44:26] I don't...

[44:27] It's odd to say this,

[44:28] but it really is

[44:29] the number one

[44:30] Spanish-language podcast

[44:33] about Apple

[44:34] that's out there.

[44:35] I can't explain it.

[44:37] I don't often think

[44:39] it's that good,

[44:39] but people seem to like it.

[44:40] So there you go.

[44:41] Good pitch.

[44:42] Wow.

[44:43] Great plug.

[44:44] I'm very self-deprecating about it.

[44:46] It's just...

[44:47] It's a conversation

[44:48] between two friends.

[44:49] It's my friend Flavio and me,

[44:51] and we just talk about

[44:52] Apple stuff,

[44:53] and we share things

[44:54] we've learned,

[44:55] and we bitch

[44:56] about Apple,

[44:57] and it's a good hour.

Dan McCoy

[45:00] Now plug it again

[45:01] in Spanish.

S1

[45:04] If you don't speak Spanish,

[45:05] you know...

[45:06] Our listeners don't speak Spanish.

[45:07] You won't read it.

[45:08] I think we have the...

[45:09] Probably a few listeners.

[45:09] I think we have the

Elliott Kalan

[45:10] whitest podcast audience

[45:12] You think?

[45:12] of any podcast.

[45:14] We have a lot...

[45:15] We have a lot of letters

[45:16] from prisons.

Dan McCoy

[45:18] We have a surprising number

[45:19] of female fans, though.

[45:21] I would not...

Elliott Kalan

[45:22] I didn't...

[45:22] Well, I mean,

[45:23] they're...

[45:24] I was talking about

[45:25] an ethnic group.

[45:26] None of that.

Dan McCoy

[45:27] No, I understand.

[45:28] I'm aware of what you said.

[45:29] I understand gender.

[45:30] I'm just saying.

[45:31] On a separate note,

[45:33] I'm surprised by the number

[45:34] of female fans that we have.

Elliott Kalan

[45:35] I'm not.

[45:35] We say a lot of funny things.

[45:37] Mm-hmm.

[45:38] And...

S1

[45:38] We have Stuart

[45:40] and your deep...

[45:42] Deep bear.

[45:43] And you've got

Elliott Kalan

[45:44] my high-pitched squeal.

[45:46] Yeah.

[45:47] That makes women...

Dan McCoy

[45:48] That brings out the...

[45:49] Which calls women

[45:49] to the yard

[45:50] like a dog whistle.

[45:51] It's like a...

Elliott Kalan

[45:53] It brings out

[45:53] the maternal element

[45:54] in them.

[45:55] Oh, that child

[45:56] sounds like he's in trouble.

[45:58] Right.

[45:58] He needs taken care of.

[45:59] Yeah.

[46:00] He's hungry.

[46:01] Sorry, ladies.

[46:02] I'm taken.

[46:03] So,

[46:04] I just missed him.

[46:05] There's already someone

[46:06] to deal with my

[46:07] unmanageable neuroses.

[46:10] But, uh...

[46:11] No, well, you know, we're...

Dan McCoy

[46:12] That doesn't have anything

[46:13] to do with how high your voice is.

[46:15] My unmanageable neuroses.

[46:17] I would put them up

[46:18] against yours

[46:18] in a second, sir.

Elliott Kalan

[46:20] All right.

[46:20] Well, you've heard it here.

[46:21] A challenge.

[46:22] A neuroses off.

S1

[46:24] And I know you both.

[46:25] And...

Elliott Kalan

[46:25] Which one of our wives...

[46:27] Pretty neurotic.

[46:27] I don't know who would win.

[46:28] Which one of our wives

Dan McCoy

[46:29] will leave us first

[46:30] is the challenge.

Elliott Kalan

[46:31] It's a good question.

[46:32] Well, are we counting

[46:33] from the beginning

[46:34] of the marriage?

[46:35] Because you've been married

[46:35] longer than I have.

[46:36] Yeah, no.

Dan McCoy

[46:36] I think the only fair way

[46:37] to do it is in total

[46:38] number of years.

[46:40] Okay.

[46:40] I mean, yes.

[46:41] I mean, I can't

[46:42] If this is a competition,

S1

[46:43] you really have to do it fairly.

Dan McCoy

[46:45] Okay, yeah.

[46:45] You really should keep

[46:46] driving this.

[46:46] What's the over-under on this?

[46:49] I mean, the thing is,

[46:50] we can't...

[46:51] Neither of us can bet on it

[46:52] because then we'll just

[46:53] try and drive our wives off.

Elliott Kalan

[46:54] Or drive the other one's wife off.

[46:56] True.

S1

[46:57] And the funny part is,

[46:57] no matter who wins,

[46:58] you both lose.

[47:00] That is funny.

[47:01] Yeah.

[47:02] All right.

[47:02] Makes me smile.

[47:03] so let's let's move on to recommendations recommendations

Elliott Kalan

[47:09] but it doesn't matter to you when you got a job

Dan McCoy

[47:33] okay now oh yeah

[47:40] now that we've driven our audience off with mouth sounds

[47:44] as we do every episode this is not the mouth sound podcast

S1

[47:49] i'm doing two hours of people just going

Dan McCoy

[47:52] this is the part where we

[47:56] this is the part where we recommend movies it's late it's good times

[48:02] recommend movies that we saw that we enjoyed that one might like to see

[48:07] rather than blood the last vampire i'm going to start off

[48:10] and say that uh i haven't seen a lot of older movies recently but two movies

[48:15] that i saw this summer that were not um

[48:17] were not financial successes certainly and to a lesser degree were not critical

[48:22] successes although did did pretty well

[48:26] uh were prana 3d and uh scott program versus the world

[48:30] both uh very niche films but both uh both enjoyable entertainment yeah both satisfied

[48:37] the sweet spot i mean like prana 3d uh had the absurd levels of nudity and gore that one would

[48:44] expect out of a late 70s uh early to mid 80s movie but have not seen since and uh that was and that

Elliott Kalan

[48:52] well but we that was a special occasion too

[48:54] because we went to see prana 3d the day of my wedding

[48:57] that awesome

[48:58] the audience might think that's a joke it is not

[49:00] nope uh me and uh dan was one of my groomsmen me and my my groomsmen and a couple other friends

Dan McCoy

[49:07] uh decided that including including flop hauser stewart wellington

Elliott Kalan

[49:10] flop hauser stewart wellington and flop house superfans

[49:13] sanio yorosh and matt carman uh they we decided to all go see prana 3d the day of the wedding early in the morning just to go get out of the girl's hair

Dan McCoy

[49:22] yeah and uh just to get out of the way because you gotta see it before the wedding

Elliott Kalan

[49:25] and uh and it was a lot of fun set the mood we were the only i felt bad for the other two people in the audience who were not with us

[49:33] because we talked and laughed throughout the movie and probably ruined their you know genuine appreciation of prana 3d but but that was a lot of fun

Dan McCoy

[49:42] it was very enjoyable um and uh adam scott and christopher lloyd were particular uh high points

[49:48] and jerry o'connell and jerry o'connell's very funny and uh uh kelly brooke who was nude in the water

[49:54] so that was good too

Elliott Kalan

[49:55] yeah there's a lot of nudity and uh

[49:58] women and like nudity followed by violence

[50:02] there is there's not i'm not a fan of combination

Dan McCoy

[50:05] i'm not a fan of nudity followed like the best the best the best nakedness was the

[50:09] on the non-prana attack long underwater nude ballet

[50:14] because yeah the underwater on its own the nude underwater lesbian ballet was

Elliott Kalan

[50:18] yeah was the high point of the film uh you sold me at nude

[50:22] i don't even know what's naked what they're doing

S1

[50:26] i don't have to hear the rest of it

[50:27] there's a nude okay i'm going

Dan McCoy

[50:28] really i want to figure that underwater would be the thing that sold you

S1

[50:31] i like underwater too that's that's a good one

Elliott Kalan

[50:33] that reminds me of there was a website i mentioned i was a long time ago in an old old podcast

[50:39] i was talking about something i overheard at comic-con

[50:42] that i thought was a website called aquafan.com but it was aquamanfan.com

[50:47] and we looked up what aquafan.com was and it was a blog about underwater sex and there was only one posting to it

[50:53] which was underwater sex anybody tried this question mark

[50:58] pretty awesome

[50:59] that was it that was it

[51:00] that was the entire blog

[51:01] uh but anyway but that but and scott pilgrim versus the world is also a fine entertainment

Dan McCoy

[51:06] that like uh you know when it when it tanked i felt sort of bad i didn't without not seeing it i felt bad

[51:13] because i'm like oh you know i always feel bad when something that i think is sort of pitched to me

[51:18] uh goes poorly and you know i like edgar wright i liked the comics i you know but then i watched the movie

[51:25] and i realized that to anyone who didn't have a very specific grounding in like classic video games

[51:33] comics

[51:34] japanese culture like uh alternative like rock like all these things like it must have been a baffling experience

[51:42] yeah

[51:43] and you know it's enough that the movie got made

[51:46] it's enough the movie got made and i enjoyed it

[51:48] well not for the makers of the film

[51:49] those people are gonna make other movies

[51:51] you know what like

Elliott Kalan

[51:53] no but i i feel the same way it's it felt i when i watched i enjoyed it a lot and i felt like this was a movie that

[52:00] hit my spot

[52:02] but

[52:03] i could see why it would not be the right movie for other people

[52:06] it looked

S1

[52:06] i i didn't see it but i didn't see it not because i didn't want to just i i never got around to seeing it

[52:11] but it looked like it was really enjoyable i

[52:13] i want to see it on

Dan McCoy

[52:15] you host a podcast about apple

[52:18] so i think

[52:19] also probably in the demographic

[52:22] but this is

[52:22] oh i guess so

Elliott Kalan

[52:23] well i just like the

[52:24] there's an old man who hosts a podcast about apples

[52:27] exactly

[52:28] i don't think he'd like it

S1

[52:29] see good point

[52:30] um but

[52:31] it's called the granny smithcast

[52:33] i like apples

[52:36] yeah

[52:37] the

[52:39] the imagery

[52:40] looks really good

[52:41] this is tom

Elliott Kalan

[52:43] johnson

[52:44] i like apples

[52:45] good appling to you

[52:46] good appling to you

[52:48] no i'm stuck on

S1

[52:51] stuck on that

[52:52] but um

[52:53] it uh

[52:54] the the imagery

[52:55] like the

[52:55] no it was beautifully shot

[52:56] it looked really amazing

[52:57] yeah

[52:58] it was

[52:59] so

Elliott Kalan

[52:59] yeah

[53:00] i'd like to see it

[53:00] it was too bad it didn't find its audience

[53:02] or its audiences

Dan McCoy

[53:04] it'll find its audience on dvd

[53:07] i'm not sure of it

[53:07] netflix or whatever

[53:08] yeah

[53:09] i hope so

[53:09] um

[53:10] fed do you have a recommendation

[53:12] uh

S1

[53:12] sure

[53:13] um

[53:14] i saw this movie

[53:15] uh a while ago

[53:16] and it's been

[53:17] i think it's

[53:18] it's been out for

[53:19] three or four years

[53:20] it's been out for a while

[53:20] a long time

[53:22] but i remember

[53:22] that when i saw it

[53:24] i was very surprised

[53:25] at how much i liked it

[53:26] and it's the mist

[53:27] which is

[53:29] a film version

[53:30] of a steven king

[53:31] novella

[53:32] novella

[53:33] it wasn't even like

[53:33] a full length

[53:34] uh

[53:35] a steven king

[53:36] telenovela

[53:36] right

[53:37] yes

[53:37] yeah

[53:38] de odio

[53:39] um

[53:41] and uh

[53:42] it was um

[53:43] if you're unfamiliar with it

[53:45] it's about what happens

[53:46] to a town

[53:48] but more specifically

[53:49] to a bunch of people

[53:50] who are trapped

[53:50] in a grocery store

[53:52] when this

[53:53] mysterious mist

[53:54] envelops the town

[53:56] and the grocery store

[53:57] and they're trapped inside

[53:58] um

[53:59] and the reason i liked it so much

[54:00] was because

[54:01] well

[54:01] apart from

[54:02] from

[54:02] from very good acting

[54:03] um

[54:04] and the fact that the special effects

[54:06] were

[54:07] were well done

[54:08] they served the purpose

[54:09] of the film

[54:10] as opposed to being

[54:11] the reason for the film

[54:12] like transformers

[54:13] or something like that

[54:14] um

[54:15] it was really

[54:17] just a story about

[54:18] what happens

[54:19] when people are trapped

[54:20] in

[54:21] a place

[54:23] and they can't leave

[54:24] and they all have

[54:25] very different ideas

[54:26] about what

[54:26] life is about

[54:27] and how to survive

[54:29] and what they're supposed to do

[54:30] and um

[54:31] how uh

[54:32] how civility breaks down

[54:33] yeah

[54:34] that kind of situation

[54:35] what you're saying is

Dan McCoy

[54:36] the true monster

[54:37] is us

S1

[54:38] what the

[54:39] you just

[54:39] what the

[54:40] holy

[54:41] what

[54:42] i was not thinking that

[54:44] i don't

[54:45] i don't think so

Elliott Kalan

[54:46] like there's

[54:46] probably like a monster

[54:48] with like claws

[54:49] and

[54:49] oh no you're right

[54:50] oh yes

[54:50] yeah

[54:51] like a

[54:52] like a

[54:52] like a werepire

[54:53] yeah

[54:53] or like a frankenwolf

[54:55] too much into it

S1

[54:55] i mean really

[54:57] the film is just about

[54:57] a bunch of monsters

[54:58] killing people

[54:59] yeah

[54:59] or like

[55:00] like mummy kong

[55:01] which is why

Dan McCoy

[55:01] like a

[55:02] like a

[55:02] drac

[55:03] drac

[55:04] you stein

Elliott Kalan

[55:04] like a drac

[55:05] that's a dracula

[55:06] dragon

[55:07] wow

[55:07] like a drac

[55:08] yousaurus

[55:09] you know

[55:10] you know

[55:11] that common monster

[55:12] you know

[55:13] like a hunchback

[55:15] zilla

[55:15] one of those

[55:17] like that's the real

[55:18] monster

[55:18] yeah

[55:19] true

S1

[55:20] um

[55:22] yeah anyway

Elliott Kalan

[55:23] you know

[55:23] like a

[55:24] like a ghost

[55:24] mobile

[55:25] you know

[55:27] like a

[55:28] like a

[55:28] like a murder

[55:29] burger

[55:29] you know

[55:30] though it's a

[55:31] monster for you

[55:32] you know

[55:34] um

[55:36] the uh

[55:36] i'll recommend

[55:37] just to confuse

[55:38] people

[55:38] a different movie

[55:39] called black cat

[55:40] than the one

[55:41] that i'm screening

[55:41] next month

[55:42] i do recommend

[55:45] the black cat

[55:45] with bors karloff

[55:47] and bella lugosi

[55:47] which i'll be

[55:47] screening next

[55:48] i'll be screening

[55:49] this coming week

[55:50] wednesday october 6

[55:51] devil plug

[55:51] but there's

[55:52] re-plug

[55:54] but the uh

[55:55] there's a japanese

[55:56] movie called

[55:57] uh kuneko

[55:58] uh

[55:59] or black cat

[56:00] what does that

[56:00] mean in english

[56:01] roughly black cat

[56:02] it's uh

[56:04] it has a longer

[56:04] japanese title

[56:05] but it's known

[56:05] as kaneko here

[56:06] um

[56:07] and it's

[56:09] about

[56:09] it's known

[56:09] as konami

[56:10] i feel like i may

[56:11] have recommended

[56:12] before but i don't

[56:12] think so

[56:13] but it's about

[56:14] the this woman

[56:15] and this uh

[56:17] woman and her

[56:18] mother-in-law

[56:18] uh the one man

[56:20] in the family

[56:20] goes off to war

[56:22] in feudal japan

[56:23] so it's just his

[56:24] wife and his

[56:24] mother left in

[56:25] this house

[56:25] they are killed

[56:27] by samurai

[56:27] and they come

[56:28] back as

[56:29] cat demon ghosts

[56:30] that seduce samurai

[56:32] and then murder

[56:33] them

[56:33] and in order

[56:34] and the

[56:35] meanwhile the sun

[56:37] is the last

[56:37] surviving member

[56:39] of this battle

[56:40] uh that he was

[56:41] in

[56:41] he there's a

[56:42] sequence where

[56:42] he kills a giant

[56:43] basically uh

[56:45] that's really great

[56:45] and so the

[56:47] daimyo the warlord

[56:48] uh sends him

[56:50] to stop this cat

[56:52] this thing that's

[56:53] killing other

[56:53] samurais

[56:54] him not knowing

[56:55] that it's his

[56:56] the reincarnation

[56:57] of his uh

[56:58] wife and mother

[56:59] uh getting their

[57:00] revenge as cat

[57:01] demons and like

[57:02] cat demon stories

[57:03] are not uncommon

[57:04] in japan

[57:05] but they're kind

[57:06] but they sound

[57:06] really weird when

[57:07] you talk about

[57:08] them in america

S1

[57:08] no i mean

[57:09] they sound totally

[57:10] normal but it's

Elliott Kalan

[57:10] it's directed

[57:11] it's by the same

[57:12] director as the

[57:13] movie onibaba

[57:14] which is a little

[57:15] bit better known

[57:15] uh and it's this

[57:17] very at very

[57:18] atmospheric very

[57:19] cool like neat

[57:21] suspenseful

[57:22] weird uh

[57:23] ghost story movie

[57:25] and it's actually

[57:26] playing for a week

[57:27] this month at

[57:28] film forum

[57:29] this is a movie i

[57:29] wanted to show in

[57:30] my screening series

[57:31] but we couldn't

[57:32] get a print of it

[57:33] we didn't and

[57:33] the film forum

[57:35] is day is

[57:36] advertising this as

[57:37] the new york

[57:37] debut of this

[57:39] movie which came

[57:39] out in 1968

[57:40] so i wonder if

[57:41] it's actually never

[57:42] been shown in

[57:43] theaters in new

[57:43] york before

[57:44] so as much as i

[57:45] hate to promote

[57:46] another theater

[57:47] um it's worth

[57:49] going to see it

[57:50] so what you're

[57:50] saying if you

Dan McCoy

[57:51] go to a new

[57:51] york screening of

[57:52] the black cat

[57:53] you can't go

Elliott Kalan

[57:54] wrong what i'm

[57:55] saying is

[57:55] either there are

[57:56] two movies called

[57:57] the black cat that

[57:58] are playing new

[57:59] york both great

[57:59] they're both awesome

[58:00] go to the one i'm

[58:01] showing and then go

[58:03] to if you see only

[58:04] one black cat movie

[58:05] in new york this

[58:05] month don't see

[58:06] mine no see

[58:07] mine oh yeah

[58:08] see yours see mine

[58:09] with boris

[58:09] karloff and

[58:10] bella gosie but

[58:10] then later you see

S1

[58:12] two if you see

[58:13] that's not a bad

[58:13] decision if you see

Elliott Kalan

[58:14] two later in the

[58:15] month go see

[58:16] kuneco at film

[58:18] forum because it's

[58:18] real and then if

[58:19] you miss the film

[58:20] forum sometimes they

[58:21] show it on uh

[58:22] ifc which is where i

[58:23] saw it on television

Dan McCoy

[58:24] and if you see none

[58:25] go fuck yourself

[58:27] if you don't see any

Elliott Kalan

[58:28] movies called black

[58:28] cat i don't even

[58:29] want to know you

[58:29] like what are you

[58:31] doing what are you

[58:32] doing with your life

[58:32] look in the mirror

[58:34] and ask yourself some

[58:34] questions i've been

S1

[58:36] plugging this and

[58:36] plugging this all

[58:37] night and if you

[58:38] don't see it and

[58:40] now you're not

[58:40] gonna see it fine

[58:41] shut up okay fine

[58:43] yeah i never liked

Elliott Kalan

[58:45] you i mean i'm

[58:46] not gonna go that

[58:47] far that's oh

[58:48] that's but uh but

[58:49] it is it but it is

[58:50] a very cool

[58:50] atmospheric movie

[58:51] okay all right

Dan McCoy

[58:52] well guys i think

[58:53] this has been a

[58:54] delightful uh return

S1

[58:56] thanks for uh for

[58:57] the invitation to uh

[58:58] thank you for coming

Dan McCoy

[58:59] and joining us um

[59:01] for the flop house

[59:03] i've been dan mccoy

S1

[59:04] oh uh i oh well

[59:07] i can go next i

[59:08] usually go last for

[59:09] this i i didn't

[59:10] sorry uh i am and

[59:13] will continue being

[59:15] and enjoyed being

[59:16] here federico

Elliott Kalan

[59:17] hatun and in this

[59:19] corner the manassas

[59:21] mauler the man from

[59:23] the east the devil may

[59:25] care the devil wears

[59:27] prada the ugly truth

[59:31] devil in a red dress

[59:32] the man that planned

[59:33] the canal panama

[59:34] ellie kalen

[59:36] good night everyone

[59:38] good night

[59:39] okay

[59:50] said as if you are a

[59:54] teacher about to start

[59:56] class

Dan McCoy

[59:57] all righty then

[59:58] in three

[1:00:00] two

[1:00:01] i thought you were

S1

[1:00:07] gonna cough

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:08] no no

[1:00:08] that was yawning

[1:00:09] i see

The Flop House: Episode #66 - Blood: The Last Vampire

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