The Flop House: Episode #77 - Skyline

[0:00] In this episode, we discuss Skyline, so named because that's the only part of Los Angeles you get to see in the film.

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:36] Yeah, I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:38] And I'm Elliot Kalin.

[0:40] We're all back together, but first I want to address the casual gum-chewing way.

[0:45] Yeah, I was going to try that out. What do you think?

[0:48] Do not chew gum on the podcast.

[0:50] I get the feeling that you're a cool guy who doesn't care what other people think.

[0:52] It's because I'm not wearing sunglasses, right?

[0:54] You're going to disgust everyone who's listening. Just put it away and tell everyone.

[0:58] What if I just do this the whole time?

[0:59] That would be bad, too.

[1:00] I shouldn't put it on my phone.

[1:02] Yeah.

[1:03] No, you shouldn't stick the gum on your phone.

[1:06] Well, guys, thanks for doing this before the podcast started.

[1:10] Settling up.

[1:13] We're really getting out of the gate with a bang tonight.

[1:16] Elliot, you've been away in France.

[1:19] That is true.

[1:20] Mon Cheri.

[1:21] Spying, I assume.

[1:23] Yes, I was spying in France.

[1:25] I thought you were doing bad movie research for the podcast.

[1:28] I was.

[1:28] I was seeing what bad movies are making a splash in France and Drive Angry 3D advertised everywhere.

[1:35] Yeah.

[1:35] There were ads for it all over the place in Paris.

[1:37] What's it called in France?

[1:38] Drive Angry 3D.

[1:39] Oh, okay.

[1:40] It's not all the American –

[1:41] Drivatrist, right?

[1:44] Right?

[1:44] That's – I don't know.

[1:45] Trois-deux.

[1:46] Yeah.

[1:47] A lot of the American movies in France, they do not translate the titles.

[1:52] For instance, The King's Speech, they do translate.

[1:54] But True Grit just is called True Grit.

[1:58] Well, yeah, I don't think there's...

[1:59] There's no French equivalent for grit.

[2:01] I have to assume there is.

[2:02] No, they're a weak...

[2:04] Well, there's a French word for true.

[2:06] Yeah.

[2:07] I assume.

[2:08] Vray.

[2:08] What?

[2:10] Vray.

[2:11] What's that?

[2:12] True.

[2:12] What's it true about?

[2:14] It's just true.

[2:15] Yeah, but we don't know what it means.

[2:18] This is hilarious.

[2:18] The classic Flophouse bit, we don't know French.

[2:22] Hey.

[2:23] Hey, guys.

[2:24] Why are we so off our game?

[2:27] It's because we're doing this during the day.

[2:29] We're doing it not at night after a long day of work, but instead during the day.

[2:33] When we're relaxed and not focused.

[2:36] I just woke up.

[2:37] And then you woke up to one of the more – one of the duller movies of late.

[2:44] Yeah, despite the monsters.

[2:46] Despite the absence of brain-eating monsters.

[2:48] Now, Elliot, we watched Skyline, which was not based on the chili of the same name.

[2:54] What was it – actually, what was the story of this film?

[2:57] Recommended by Elliot because Elliot was chomping at the bit to watch Skyline.

[3:02] No, not at all.

[3:03] I was –

[3:03] Do I not recall correctly?

[3:04] Did not suggest it and was dubious at best.

[3:08] I believe it was Daniel McCoy.

[3:09] You wanted to watch The Surveyor's Apprentice or whatever.

[3:12] I was more interested in watching Sorcerer's Apprentice.

[3:14] Yeah.

[3:14] But – and I – mostly I just didn't want to watch Cats and Dogs, The Return of Kitty Galore.

[3:20] Right.

[3:20] Pussy Galore?

[3:21] Isn't that what –

[3:22] That's – every time I say the title, I have to stop for a second and stop myself from saying pussy galore.

[3:27] Yeah, you have to stop and remember that kids don't know what pussy is.

[3:30] Nope, but they know that kitty and pussy are the same word, so the joke still works for them.

[3:35] Yep.

[3:35] Anyway, Skyline, huh?

[3:38] Well, it's like Cloverfield but with aliens and they don't leave the house basically.

[3:43] We're with a bunch of unlikable young people and also –

[3:47] Played by a couple of unlikable television stars.

[3:50] And also what's-his-name-from-Dexter is in it.

[3:53] Yeah, the guy who played Angel.

[3:54] Let's just call him Angel because we don't know.

[3:57] I was going to call him Dexter.

[3:58] That's a different character.

[4:00] That's a different guy.

[4:02] Because he's in Dexter.

[4:03] Yeah, but Michael C. Hall plays Dexter.

[4:06] It's the titular role.

[4:07] We'll figure it out as the podcast.

[4:08] You can edit it.

[4:10] Who played Skyline in this movie?

[4:11] But basically a bunch of people are in a high-rise apartment building in L.A.

[4:17] That's basically empty.

[4:19] That's basically empty.

[4:20] It's new. There's not a lot of people in the building.

[4:21] Aliens attack, and these people proceed to not leave the building very much.

[4:27] They kind of just hang out in their room.

[4:29] They try to leave once, and a monster attacks them.

[4:31] And they have to run back inside.

[4:33] And it's like this – what could have been a very exciting movie is happening outside of their building while they sit around and wait for it to end.

[4:42] Until the end when they finally get out of the apartment and there's aliens and monsters and airplanes exploding and their brains are being sucked out of their heads and all that manages to still be super boring.

[4:53] Well, until like the craziest shit happens at the very end of the movie, but I think we should save that until a little later.

[4:58] Okay, yeah.

[4:59] The ending is – this is a movie that is like an hour and a half long and really it should be the first like 25 minutes of a different movie.

[5:08] And the movie starts getting interesting.

[5:11] farts getting interesting i was wondering if you guys heard that the movie farts getting interesting

[5:15] like literally 40 seconds before the credits roll like it's it's really and the whole time

[5:22] the movie do you think that's setting it up for a sequel do you think that was the timeline too

[5:26] uh i think maybe i mean every movie nowadays maybe a squeak will okay i mean the king's speech i

[5:32] assume was set up for a sequel like every movie you have to assume they're going to do a sequel

[5:35] of it or a reboot well they gave that king a number at the end of his name already so you know

[5:40] That's just – that's tipping your hand.

[5:42] They can do prequels then.

[5:44] Yeah.

[5:44] Yeah, so they're like babies in a castle.

[5:48] Yep, king babies.

[5:50] It's castle babies actually, but that's okay.

[5:53] Really?

[5:54] I'm working on my screenplay.

[5:55] It's a treatment right now.

[5:57] I'm going to give you the treatment.

[6:00] I was surprised.

[6:02] We're watching this movie and apparently we were not watching Battle of Los Angeles in theaters now.

[6:09] No, we were watching Skyline.

[6:10] which is, I guess, the special effects demo reel for Battle Los Angeles.

[6:14] Yeah, I guess we should.

[6:15] There was some sort of...

[6:18] Brouhaha.

[6:18] Yeah, there was a civil suit.

[6:22] Sure.

[6:23] The makers of Battle Los Angeles sued the brother Strauss,

[6:27] which is the irritating name of the filmmakers of Skyline,

[6:30] who did special effects on Battle Los Angeles

[6:33] and sued them thinking that they had stolen some of the Battle LA effects.

[6:37] Well, because they worked on Battle Los Angeles, right?

[6:39] Yeah.

[6:40] And then it was settled out of court.

[6:43] I think it was settled by – they must have shown the judge both movies and the judge was like, are you really fucking arguing over this?

[6:49] Over these pieces of garbage?

[6:51] Yeah.

[6:52] So they settled it.

[6:52] So that was a piece of trivia that will be of interest to no one.

[6:56] Well, but it's interesting because –

[6:57] And quickly forgotten.

[6:58] This does feel like a hastily made movie thrown together to take advantage of resources that they have.

[7:04] It feels like those Roger Corman movies where he had a gorilla suit for one movie.

[7:09] And a castle.

[7:10] And a castle, so it's like, look, we've got these for another two days.

[7:12] Let's write another Gorilla Castle movie.

[7:14] That movie already sounds so much better than the one we just saw.

[7:18] And that's how we came up with Gorilla Castle Freak.

[7:20] That's the sequel to King Gorilla.

[7:22] Gorilla Castle Freak.

[7:24] And Gorilla in the Family.

[7:26] Invisible Gorilliac.

[7:28] But it feels like a quickly made movie to take it.

[7:35] It almost feels like an exploitation movie that has a super high special effects.

[7:40] budget and no understanding of what exploitation is of what's exciting about a movie yeah they had

[7:45] a full weekend with this apartment building before people started moving in okay everybody let's come

[7:51] over uh i got all this liquor that we'll use as props throughout the movie we'll drink it party

[7:57] and shoot this fucking crazy movie and i'll just add in the monsters later so just make up stuff

[8:01] and pretend imagine it's beautiful imagine the tentacle is attacking you just oh oh oh

[8:07] but don't say alien at any point because we haven't decided what the aliens this could still

[8:12] be a devil's movie so that's the thing yeah there's could be a devil in the elevator spaceships

[8:17] come down from the sky it could be almost anything techno-organic monsters that are eating people

[8:21] and never does anyone say aliens or yeah or even monsters they just say like those things

[8:28] they that thing one guy makes a bible reference to the rapture yeah because the first thing the

[8:34] spaceships do is they hover over la and project a blue light which hypnotizes people into walking

[8:42] towards them and then they makes their face all veiny and shit yeah it makes their face veiny and

[8:47] their eyes go pupil-less and then the people are sucked up into into the maw of the spaceship

[8:52] brought pulled into the sky all right well let's explore the julianne moore movie what was it the

[8:57] forgotten something like that yeah let's explore the ammo of these aliens because it makes not a

[9:03] bit of sense the elmo of the aliens yes the babians so the aliens come down sure they uh

[9:10] shine this bright blue light yes it's almost like they're checking if people are drunk which draws

[9:14] people out of their houses i guess all the easier for them to use their giant sky vacuums to pull

[9:20] them into the sky yes where they then take their brains out yeah but also i don't know but for some

[9:27] reason the bright blue light creates these uh black veiny things underneath the skin of the

[9:33] people and does things to their eyes so there's some sort of uh genetic change that's going on

[9:39] there that comes into play basically not at all well very briefly eric belfar belf balfour is

[9:46] strong enough to eric balfour our hero is a very loose definition horse face uh horse mustache

[9:54] He can lift Angel up with one hand at one point and it's kind of implied that because he looked into the blue light but wasn't taken by the aliens that now he's like super strong or there's something different about him.

[10:07] Like he can focus his like – his inner alien powers.

[10:11] Yeah, he's like Iron Fist.

[10:12] Yeah, you wouldn't like him if he gets angry or something.

[10:15] And that kind of comes into play in the last 25 seconds, 40 seconds of the movie.

[10:19] Right.

[10:20] But otherwise, he just – every now and then he's got veins all over him and you don't know why.

[10:24] But why these aliens are here, not ever made clear.

[10:28] They come down and what they do is these aliens take humans' brains and put them in – and they put them in the place of their own brains that already look like human brains.

[10:41] I'm not really sure.

[10:42] Like they already had brains.

[10:43] I don't know whether –

[10:44] I don't know if they're eating the brains or they get like electrical energy from the brains or something.

[10:49] You'll see a monster will – with a tentacle, it will suck a brain out of someone's head and then put it into its own head and then just walk away.

[10:58] But it seems like a lot of these aliens already have brains.

[11:01] Are we to believe that those are brains that came from people that were killed earlier in the movie and we just didn't see that?

[11:07] Maybe or like they – they like have factory brains that have a limited warranty and they've got to replace them with better brains.

[11:14] This has all happened before in human history, and these brain batteries have finally run out.

[11:19] Maybe.

[11:20] So they're coming back to replace their brains.

[11:21] Yeah, one of them Stargates.

[11:23] They might have picked up a load of bad brains by accident, thinking it was the band Bad Brains.

[11:27] Right.

[11:27] Sure.

[11:28] Abbey normal.

[11:29] Yep.

[11:30] But, yeah, it's the alien.

[11:32] Well, here's why the aliens are never explained, because we're seeing a street-level view of an alien invasion.

[11:38] Oh, that's what they're doing.

[11:39] It's a real amazing gimmick, and this is something I was talking to you guys during the movie about,

[11:43] That this sounds like a really cool premise.

[11:45] Like it's an alien invasion but we're just going to see it from the point of view of like a couple scattered people.

[11:50] Show average.

[11:51] Yeah, like neither living dead but we're aliens.

[11:53] Don't phase on from Scrubs.

[11:54] Yeah, what's Scrubs doing nowadays?

[11:57] Scrubsy was in this film by the way.

[11:59] A guy from Scrubs was in it.

[12:01] Scrubsy he's called.

[12:02] Scrubsy McScrubs.

[12:05] But, like, the outcome of it is that the characters have no idea what's going on but not in an interesting, like, shit, we don't know what's going on but we've got to get out of here.

[12:14] More of a, like, what's going on outside?

[12:16] I don't know, man.

[12:17] Okay.

[12:18] And you see all these fighter jets come and attack the main mothership, but you have no idea who's flying these planes.

[12:26] Like, we don't really care.

[12:27] Well, not only are these characters watching it from like the window of this building, they're watching it through a telescope that is hooked up to a video camera like it goes to the TV.

[12:40] So they're watching the TV out the window.

[12:43] So it's another level of removal from the action.

[12:45] Yeah, we're watching characters watch TV of the action.

[12:50] Yeah.

[12:50] And it's – and there's this one like – I will say maybe the filmmakers worked well, but there's one part where these fighter jets are all escorting a stealth bomber that's going towards this mothership, and the stealth bomber is almost there.

[13:05] It's almost making it, and its fighter jet escort is being blown up.

[13:09] Yeah, it's a whole dogfight in the sky, a hot dogfight even.

[13:12] And you're like, man, I wish I knew who was inside that bomber because it looks like he's having an exciting movie experience right now.

[13:20] Randy Quaid's probably in there.

[13:22] He's a crop duster.

[13:23] They're not going to – I mean he does get to use a fighter jet.

[13:27] It's probably Bill Pullman.

[13:28] OK.

[13:28] Bill Paxton?

[13:30] No.

[13:30] Pullman.

[13:31] It's probably Bill Paxman.

[13:32] OK.

[13:33] He's probably a loaf of Pullman bread.

[13:34] Bill Poulton.

[13:36] Yeah.

[13:36] George Poulton.

[13:37] Do you have any other names?

[13:38] George Lipton.

[13:40] Yeah.

[13:41] He was filming an episode of Mousekirpy's Theater.

[13:45] It's probably Lipton's iced tea.

[13:46] Yeah.

[13:47] Anyway, point is –

[13:49] Skip Jumpjack.

[13:50] They blow up the mothership with a big nuke.

[13:54] They nuke this mothership, which is...

[13:57] In the heart of Los Angeles.

[13:58] In the heart of Los Angeles and not far from where our heroes are.

[14:01] And the heroes just kind of shake it off.

[14:03] They all look away from the blast and throw themselves on the ground.

[14:06] And I guess the radiation passes over their heads.

[14:09] They're fine.

[14:11] Like bullet time.

[14:12] Yeah, I think...

[14:13] And Angel goes like...

[14:15] And the mothership falls to the ground and it looks like it's dead.

[14:17] And then it turns out it's not and it flies back up again.

[14:20] But for a minute they're like angels like, this is it.

[14:22] They know what to do.

[14:23] They know how to stop them.

[14:24] It's like, oh, you're going to throw a nuclear weapon at them?

[14:26] Just poison the world with a bunch of nukes.

[14:28] Real great plan.

[14:29] I don't know how they didn't think of this one yet.

[14:31] This giant spaceship that was hoovering up human beings is now a giant irradiated wreckage in the middle of one of our bigger cities.

[14:38] Awesome.

[14:39] What's worse at this point?

[14:42] Say what you will about Independence Day.

[14:44] At least they made a big deal about the fact that throwing a nuke at it would be maybe not the greatest thing.

[14:50] Yeah. There's also a lot of arguing over – it seems like the characters at times seem to think how the aliens work and don't.

[14:56] They're like, we've got to get to the marina and get a boat. The aliens aren't over the water.

[15:00] It's like – I mean it doesn't mean that –

[15:03] It's not like the water is a safe place.

[15:05] Yeah, I think you're confusing correlation and causation.

[15:08] I mean maybe just because there aren't a lot of people out in the water, they can suck up to their brain factory.

[15:13] They're not actually sucking up seals.

[15:15] Seal brains are no good for their machines.

[15:18] And it doesn't matter because the characters never get out of the building anyway.

[15:23] They just get to the roof.

[15:24] It's the most frustrating thing.

[15:26] There's a time when they're about to get out of the building.

[15:30] I'm like, all right, the movie's going to start getting cooking.

[15:32] And then immediately half of the cast dies, and they're chased back into the parking garage.

[15:37] Scrubs gets eaten by a monster.

[15:38] Yeah.

[15:39] And they're like, oh, okay, they're not leaving this building.

[15:42] They're also the kind of monster.

[15:44] The big climax of this movie consists of Eric Balfour and his girlfriend running back and forth from different corners of the top of this building that they've been in the entire time.

[15:53] Well, a huge battle goes on above them that we don't see that much of.

[15:56] And they fight a monster where it's like, this is a monster that shrugged off bullets, and then Eric Balfour starts hitting it with an axe.

[16:02] Well, at the end he punches it to death.

[16:04] But he might have his super vein strength by that point.

[16:08] I think that might be it.

[16:09] Still, he's still got a human body.

[16:11] That's true. He does punch a giant vagina-faced alien with tentacles to death.

[16:15] And that sounds, again, sounds way cooler than it actually is.

[16:19] Well, see, I don't know if you caught this, but that alien was threatening his unborn child.

[16:24] And he's just the type of guy where family is the most important thing.

[16:28] It's true.

[16:28] He'll lay it all on the line for family.

[16:30] He will punch an alien to death for his family.

[16:31] Oh, that's right. And it turns out, we find out earlier in the movie that his girlfriend is pregnant.

[16:35] How do we find that one out, Elliot?

[16:38] Well, she gets sick in the morning.

[16:40] So we know she's pregnant because a woman throws up in the morning.

[16:43] She doesn't have anything to drink.

[16:44] But also she says to him, I'm late.

[16:48] And he goes, what?

[16:49] And she goes, I'm late.

[16:50] I took a test.

[16:51] Took a test.

[16:53] It was called a calendar.

[16:54] And it proves that I am in fact late.

[16:58] It's called are you bleeding from the vagina test.

[17:02] And one of you, I forget if it was Stuart, I think one of you, pointed out that, like, if you took a test, then you're pregnant.

[17:09] Yeah, you don't say it.

[17:10] You don't say late anymore.

[17:11] Yeah, it's crazy.

[17:12] Oh, man.

[17:14] And we're the, yeah, and it is a boring, and they don't mention the pregnancy that much, but it occasionally comes up.

[17:23] Like, one of the characters starts smoking a cigarette, and she goes, I gotta go.

[17:26] The smoke.

[17:26] Well, they spend the first 20 minutes of the movie aggressively not defining our heroes.

[17:31] Yes.

[17:32] Then a bunch of lights fall from the sky.

[17:34] Then half of our heroes die.

[17:36] It opens with the lights falling.

[17:37] And they hang around.

[17:38] The lights come down from the sky and our heroes wake up and see these lights.

[17:42] Then it cuts back.

[17:43] Starts with a bang is what you're saying.

[17:45] Yes, and then sky.

[17:45] 15 hours earlier.

[17:46] After the hundred different production companies that are made in this movie have their, it says like, you know, like a Strauss Brothers production brought to you by Rogue Pictures in association with Hydrolx.

[18:00] End relativity something.

[18:02] Yeah.

[18:02] In accordance with rat pictures.

[18:05] And it's like, you know, when does this movie get started?

[18:08] So then it says, then we have this, yeah, it should be called.

[18:12] Rat Tale.

[18:13] Not a lot of effort movies.

[18:15] Rat Tale.

[18:16] Rat Fink Productions.

[18:18] In accordance with Boo Boo Films.

[18:20] Rat Fink of Boo Boo Studios.

[18:22] So they see this blue light, one of their number who is an expendable nobody,

[18:30] Gets sucked up by the aliens and then says Skyline in big words.

[18:33] Then we jump back 15 hours earlier to when Eric Balfour and his girlfriend.

[18:38] Every TV show on television style.

[18:41] Eric Balfour and his girlfriend show up in L.A. to meet their friend Scrubs and his wife.

[18:46] And Scrubs is a famous something or rich guy.

[18:51] I did not get it.

[18:52] I think he works with special effects or something.

[18:54] Or movies or something.

[18:55] But he didn't work on special effects.

[18:56] He's got the penthouse.

[18:57] He's like a movie star or something.

[18:59] I don't know.

[19:00] I don't think he's believable as a movie star.

[19:04] No.

[19:05] But he's all jacked, Stuart.

[19:06] I mean, he was barely believable as a TV star, and he was on a TV show for years.

[19:09] And he's not that jacked.

[19:11] Yeah, one of the things...

[19:12] He's more barrel-chested.

[19:13] Yeah.

[19:13] I think the thing that's most interesting is that they show us this hard opening, okay?

[19:19] And then it goes back in time 15 hours to get us back to the point of the opening of the movie.

[19:24] But all that time doesn't give us any more information or make the characters any more likable.

[19:29] All it tells us is that she's pregnant and Scrubs is cheating on his wife.

[19:33] It's all stuff that could have been revealed during the alien attack.

[19:38] Yeah, and Scrubs cheating on his wife.

[19:40] That doesn't play into anything.

[19:41] Well, he and his mistress get killed in the car by an alien.

[19:44] Oh, I guess we're supposed to feel good about it then.

[19:45] That's the thing.

[19:47] Yeah, they get killed, and I was like, I guess that's the movie's morality?

[19:51] His wife is also set up as a total bitch.

[19:54] Yeah.

[19:54] It's not the movie.

[19:56] The aliens don't like people cheating on them.

[19:58] Maybe that's it, that the aliens are targeting adulterers to steal their cheating brains.

[20:03] Like Jason Voorhees.

[20:04] Well, that's just the sexually prolific.

[20:10] Why do you think he hides his identity?

[20:13] Yeah, why do you think his face is all messed up?

[20:15] It was burned by acid after he cheated on his child bride.

[20:21] His child bride?

[20:22] Yeah, because he was a little kid.

[20:24] I'll work on the story.

[20:25] Come back to me in about ten minutes.

[20:28] uh so it's not it's a boring movie it's a it's a boring alien invasion movie it's boring until

[20:35] until the very end when a whole lot of shit explodes above the roof and then our main

[20:41] character should we say what happens yeah please let's get into it so our the only interesting

[20:45] thing in the movie so the main couple uh eric balfour and the girl i don't remember her name

[20:50] pregnant girl and pregnant girl they fought an alien he beat it up with his hands but then uh-oh

[20:55] spaceship above them they start getting sucked into the blue light as they're floating in the

[21:00] air they kiss in midair which stewart was a hundred point move perfect example of human affection

[21:08] they go up into this spaceship where there's just like it's kind of like the inside of the spaceship

[21:13] and fire in the sky everything in this movie seems to be stolen from another movie it's like

[21:17] this kind of oily gross techno-organic place yeah matrixy where people are just kind of lying around

[21:24] in oil and an alien tentacle keeps picking up random people and pulling their heads off and

[21:31] taking their brains out and the brains go through a tube that ends up being put into the heads of

[21:36] other things now all the brains go glow blue except for the brain that comes out of eric

[21:42] balfour's head which glows what red yeah yep and when that who knows why i get another thing in

[21:47] the movie not explained and the brains are being put into these kind of like hulking monster bodies

[21:52] but when that brain goes into the monster body suddenly it's still him yeah like eric balfour

[22:00] literally shakes it off he's and takes yeah he's shaking his head shaking his head and

[22:05] personality yeah as evidenced through the rest of the film and when the and the aliens seem to

[22:11] be taking pregnant women and putting them in a different section and then or the double harvesting

[22:16] i guess i only assume and the eric balfour monster fights away some kind of yeah he hears her scream

[22:23] or he hears her screaming and sees that it's his girl and fights off the the spaceship tentacle

[22:29] and then like soothes her and then in still images yeah as the credits start rolling not even it's

[22:38] like fumetti photo comics it's not even it doesn't move you see him fight another monster and then

[22:44] pick her up and run away yeah yeah like the man thing you know it's and it's like wait what that

[22:52] should have been the climax of the movie is him and her like running out and that should have been

[22:56] 35 40 minutes in his brain gets put in an alien body they have to be on the run and she has to

[23:01] get used to the fact that her love is now an alien monster yeah okay that's a movie that movie's not

[23:07] called skyline it is called what alien fugitive instead though this movie ends like with like

[23:17] the world in ruins our heroes have been sucked up one of their heads gets ripped off that brain

[23:23] gets put in a monster and we're done basically and that's it a monster that has arguably more

[23:30] screen presence than eric balfour yeah once again this thing the the monster body is more charismatic

[23:36] than the lead of the movie.

[23:37] I was saying I was hoping

[23:39] that there'd be an end of credits tag

[23:40] where the monster and his wife

[23:43] are now on a Caribbean beach

[23:45] sipping piña coladas together.

[23:47] Yep.

[23:47] Possibly with a little barbecue next to them

[23:50] and the barbecue is a burning alien

[23:52] roasting their meat.

[23:55] So he's got an apron that says,

[23:56] kiss me, I'm alien.

[23:57] I'm the alien cook.

[23:59] I mean, he's still a cook.

[24:00] Kiss the alien cook.

[24:01] And she's cradling her baby in her arms

[24:04] and then there's a cut on the baby

[24:05] as the eyes glow

[24:06] and then freeze frame.

[24:08] And then,

[24:08] ow!

[24:09] Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

[24:11] Skyline!

[24:13] Yep.

[24:13] David Lee Roth's

[24:14] Walk in the skyline!

[24:16] Do-ba-ba-ba-ba-do-ba.

[24:17] Yeah.

[24:18] If only.

[24:19] What a movie.

[24:20] We just...

[24:21] We just made a much

[24:21] stupider and better movie.

[24:23] We should do the fan cut

[24:24] of Skyline.

[24:25] But it's...

[24:26] This feels like a fan...

[24:27] Like,

[24:28] this doesn't feel that different

[24:29] from those movies

[24:30] you see on YouTube

[24:30] where it's like

[24:31] two guys fighting

[24:32] with lightsabers

[24:33] and it's homemade

[24:34] but the special effects

[24:35] It looks like a proof of concept.

[24:36] Yeah.

[24:37] It's like, okay.

[24:37] This looks like the type of movie that –

[24:38] You guys can get a job on a better movie.

[24:40] Yeah.

[24:40] This is the type of movie that like you're walking around Comic-Con and these guys have a shitty little booth.

[24:45] Yeah, yeah.

[24:45] And they're like very actively trying to get this hot girl to sell this movie to you.

[24:51] Somebody's girlfriend.

[24:53] Somebody's girlfriend.

[24:54] Dressed up in cosplay costume just for that weekend.

[24:56] What kind of cosplay costume, Stuart?

[24:58] In this case, it would be, I don't know, a pregnant woman in Los Angeles.

[25:02] I thought you were going to say sexy Naruto.

[25:05] I see.

[25:05] Sexy DeMaruto.

[25:07] Yeah, I guess it would work for Skyline.

[25:08] Even the alien designs, like, aren't original or good.

[25:15] I mean, like, the actual special effects are pretty well done.

[25:21] They are well done special effects.

[25:23] All, like, the looks of the aliens are derivative of, like, they took, like, four other things and threw them together.

[25:28] Yeah.

[25:29] And there's no real continuity.

[25:31] There's, like, a hundred different types of aliens.

[25:33] A hundred different types of aliens.

[25:34] and you're kind of like, okay, I'm not really sure what differentiates this type of alien from this other type.

[25:38] Like, are they the same species, or do they work together, or are they pals?

[25:41] Yeah, that would be great.

[25:41] Yeah, and you said...

[25:44] They're from neighboring planets.

[25:44] You said during the movie that it really would have benefited from some kind of a scientist character,

[25:49] or even like a little kid who's like a nerd, who's like, oh, this type of alien is clearly a worker alien.

[25:56] Yeah, or even like there's a part where they turn on the TV and they're just...

[26:00] I'm sure those Big Bang Theory kids weren't doing anything like...

[26:02] There's a part where they – that would be – see, there's an entertaining movie where a bunch of guys with Asperger's syndrome have to survive an alien attack, and they hate each other.

[26:10] But the –

[26:12] Awesome.

[26:12] They turn on the TV in the morning, and it's just live shots of empty news desks, which doesn't make sense.

[26:18] It's like, look, the news anchors got sucked up by a spaceship.

[26:22] I guess we'll just show the desk.

[26:23] We turned on the camera, and then everyone got sucked up in the vacuum body machine, and then we just – the live feed was still going out.

[26:32] On all channels.

[26:33] I would have liked it if the aliens were sitting at the desk.

[26:36] Today's top story.

[26:39] Brains.

[26:40] Come outside.

[26:41] It's a beautiful day.

[26:43] Blue lights are healthy for you.

[26:45] Early reports of aliens.

[26:47] Exaggerated.

[26:49] Incorrect.

[26:50] Coming up, what is inside your house that could be killing you?

[26:54] Go outside now.

[26:58] But the – like it would have benefited from at least one appearance of a person on TV or the radio or something just to give us some context unless they're going to make the point of the movie that these characters are really confused and that wasn't the point of the movie.

[27:10] The point of the movie was the characters came from outside.

[27:12] The audience is really confused.

[27:14] Yeah.

[27:14] Well, the audience is hateful of the entire experience because like Night of the Living Dead is the best example of this where the characters don't really know what's going on.

[27:23] And even the stuff the TV tells them may or may not be true, but you still get a sense of, like, even if I don't know all the details and I still feel like there's chaos outside, I still get what's happening.

[27:34] Well, and I said, too, as we're watching it, like, the reason staying in one location works for Night of the Living Dead is because, you know, zombies are such a – I mean, they're a formidable enemy because there's so many of them, but they're not, like, visually crazy or anything.

[27:51] It's just a bunch of people outside your house.

[27:53] Whereas this movie is like, oh, there's a bunch of really exciting explosions going on outside that we're not getting to see.

[27:59] Let's keep the blinds down.

[28:00] Most of the movie, the blinds are down and you can't see outside, which is...

[28:05] But then they don't even play up that possibility where there is crazy shit going on outside or off camera.

[28:12] And you have to rely on the character's reactions to make it important or make you feel it.

[28:18] You get like the sense of like the mounting tension of being stuck in this apartment.

[28:22] Like the big dramatic thing was when the toilet stopped flushing.

[28:26] Like, oh, okay, I guess society is falling apart now.

[28:28] The toilet stopped flushing.

[28:30] We got to get out of this apartment.

[28:31] Aliens turned off the water.

[28:33] We're getting their space bugs bill.

[28:36] This is 45 space bugs.

[28:41] I refuse to keep paying this space bugs bill for these humans' water.

[28:48] We should say space dollars, but everyone just went with space bucks.

[28:51] But the – it's – in theory, this should be – like Cloverfield does this a little better where it's a bunch of people who happen to keep getting mixed up in what's going on even though they're nobodies and they're really irritating fucking people that you hate.

[29:05] But at least they leave the house.

[29:09] But in this one, it feels like – it almost feels like the alien invasion is being presented for the people in the apartment.

[29:16] You know, they're pretty irritating, but at least they went outside every once in a while.

[29:20] At least they weren't sitting on their butts.

[29:21] But like this movie, it feels like – it almost feels like these are supposed to be nobodies, just like everyday folks, but the alien invasion only happens around where they are.

[29:32] They don't – everything is kind of centered around the building they're at even though there's no reason for it.

[29:39] It wants to – the movie wants to have it both ways, so it feels fake the whole time.

[29:43] Yeah.

[29:45] It tries – I think it tries too hard to throw in moments of action when if you're trying to make it low budget, at least maybe focus more on people trying to figure out their situation and talk about things like, I think they're aliens or something.

[29:59] Or give the characters personality traits, which these don't have.

[30:03] Well, also, I like a movie –

[30:04] Pregnant is a personality trait.

[30:05] It is not a personality trait.

[30:07] Cheating on your wife is a personality trait.

[30:08] Here are their personality traits.

[30:09] Cheating on their wife is one guy.

[30:11] Pregnant is one girl.

[30:13] One girl is a bitch who smokes.

[30:15] The other guy is good at drawing, and the other girl is the first guy's assistant.

[30:21] Those are their only personality traits.

[30:24] The first guy who gets killed or gets just taken by the aliens has the most personality of any of them, and he's an asshole.

[30:31] Like his personality is just that he's a jerk.

[30:33] But at least he has a personality.

[30:34] And our two male leads for a while are named Jerry and Terry.

[30:39] Seems like they could have changed it up a bit.

[30:44] At least come up with a name that has two letters difference.

[30:46] I also want to make –

[30:48] Terry and Jari.

[30:49] I'll save my last criticism for the Final Judgments, which I think we should get into.

[30:56] Should we do Final Judgments now?

[30:57] Let's do it.

[30:58] Final Judgments.

[30:59] Final Judgments.

[31:00] Skyline.

[31:01] This is a good bad movie.

[31:03] Skyline Judgments.

[31:03] A bad bad movie, a movie you actually liked.

[31:06] I'm going to start off.

[31:07] I say it's a bad bad movie.

[31:09] The movie had a lot of crazy shit in it, but the problem with it was –

[31:13] I mean, I don't mind a movie that has a bunch of, like, plot holes if, like, they jack up that craziness and make it entertaining.

[31:21] The problem with this movie is there's a bunch of stuff that didn't make any sense, and it was then buttressed by a lot of scenes of people doing nothing in a room.

[31:30] Literally just sitting around.

[31:33] And then at the end, the craziest thing in the movie happened, and then it was over.

[31:37] Because the good filmmaker always leaves you wanting more.

[31:40] Yeah, yes.

[31:41] I wanted it more earlier.

[31:43] Even if the characters reacted to things in a larger way – like so often it was like, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[31:51] But even if like there was one character who was like, shit, what's that?

[31:54] Or just in some way did a – like reacted in a way where it was like, oh, OK.

[31:58] We're supposed to have fun watching this.

[32:00] Like we're not supposed to be – it took itself too seriously.

[32:03] Well, one example of – I mean not taking –

[32:05] This movie took itself very seriously.

[32:06] Yeah.

[32:07] One example of not taking itself seriously but an example of, like, reacting in too small a way is when Scrubsy kept trying to use a handgun to shoot these giant alien creatures.

[32:17] But even then, like, the movie could have had fun with that and have another character point out, like, what are you doing that is not going to help you?

[32:24] Yeah.

[32:24] And at the end –

[32:25] Like, he wasn't even able to shoot a door lock open.

[32:28] He does waste, like, six bullets trying to open a door.

[32:31] That's the closest the movie got to being clever, actually, was when he kept trying to shoot that door open.

[32:37] That was obviously a dumb idea.

[32:38] There's – Angel takes out an alien by setting – opening the gas on a stove and then lighting a fire and it's like – doesn't work at first.

[32:50] Then finally he lights it and he says, what, like, vaya con Dios or something.

[32:54] Son of a bitch or something.

[32:55] Son of a bitch.

[32:55] And it's like if you're going to make a big stupid movie about aliens attacking a building, like, you should have more dumb stuff like that in it.

[33:02] Like, have some fun with it instead of –

[33:05] Yeah, and then have the explosion happen.

[33:07] And you see Angel's body like smiling and like crossing himself as he flies.

[33:13] I think that's a little too much.

[33:14] Well, you know.

[33:16] Or even if you're going to –

[33:18] Some of us just shoot for the stars, Elliot.

[33:20] Yeah, that's true.

[33:21] But I like to keep my feet on the ground.

[33:22] Yeah.

[33:22] That sounds like a bad, bad movie.

[33:24] But even a movie like – yes.

[33:26] Even a movie like Close Encounters of the Third Kind, which is a movie that takes aliens very seriously, has jokes and funny moments and like fun things in it.

[33:34] Yeah.

[33:34] But I thought it was a bad, bad movie also.

[33:37] Yeah, I mean there's no moments where you can – I just – they – it's not very exciting and any chance for us to try and care about these characters would be maybe through like the friendship or the relationships.

[33:52] And I hate a movie where you have two friends that don't seem to like have any reason to be friends at all.

[33:58] And don't seem to know each other.

[33:59] Or get like – yeah, it's like Miami Vice, the movie that has no jokes.

[34:05] Like, nobody smiles for any reason.

[34:07] So, yeah, it's a bad, bad movie.

[34:09] Not fun.

[34:10] Yeah, it's kind of a software demo reel that takes itself very seriously.

[34:14] Yeah.

[34:14] Okay.

[34:15] Skyline!

[34:17] Well, I've got some letters I want to read.

[34:22] But before I do that, I want to thank everyone who made donations this month.

[34:29] Thank you.

[34:30] Thank you.

[34:31] I want to say thanks to Timothy M., Ksenia Y., Dimitri T., and Brian S.

[34:37] Thank you.

[34:37] And as always, if you are an eccentric millionaire or know an eccentric millionaire,

[34:42] please donate or encourage said millionaire to donate to the Flophouse.

[34:47] Anyone who's eccentric should donate.

[34:49] Anyone who is silly enough to want to spend their money.

[34:54] Go through their hedge maze, solve their riddle contest, and get them to donate.

[34:56] Spend a night in their spooky mansion.

[34:59] But if you want to donate, you can go to FlophousePodcast.com and do so.

[35:03] Solve the curse of their antiquities collection.

[35:06] And if you do appreciate the show, donate something because Dan has just sunk so much money he can't afford into this production.

[35:13] Or if you don't want to spend actual money, spend some of your time by going to iTunes and leaving a review, hopefully a positive one, because that does affect our listenership.

[35:26] Yeah, any work you can do to spread the word is much appreciated because we rely on our fans.

[35:32] Well, that real grassroots organization, the Flophouse.

[35:36] Oh, yeah, very much so.

[35:37] That ugly business behind us.

[35:39] We can get on to letters, which I know is Elliot's favorite part.

[35:42] I like letters.

[35:43] Yeah.

[35:44] Letters.

[35:46] This could be an all-letters podcast.

[35:48] I would enjoy that.

[35:49] This letter is titled Hop House – oh, Hop Flouse actually.

[35:54] Sorry.

[35:54] OK.

[35:55] Start over

[35:57] When I thought it said Hop House

[35:58] I thought it was someone trying to send it to a beer podcast

[36:02] But it's actually Hop Flops

[36:03] Or an opium den

[36:04] And it says

[36:06] As someone who's a big fan of bad movies

[36:09] Flops, if you will

[36:10] I was pleasantly

[36:12] No offense to the writer

[36:14] At this point I think we can all agree that that's a word we would use to describe bad movies

[36:17] The name of the podcast is Flophouse

[36:20] You know we will

[36:20] He said

[36:23] I was pleasantly surprised when I stumbled across your podcast.

[36:26] I give it 10 out of 10 Flophouses.

[36:28] That's fair.

[36:29] Yeah.

[36:30] I feel I may be too late to request this, but would highly, highly recommend an episode centered around the postmodern classic G.I. Joe, The Rise of Cobra.

[36:37] As Wikipedia says, critical reception was mostly negative, and I couldn't agree more.

[36:42] That's sincerely Zach's last name with L.

[36:46] I like that.

[36:48] I like that Wikipedia joke.

[36:50] Yeah, that was good.

[36:51] G.I. Joe, The Rise of Cobra is a bad movie.

[36:53] Yeah.

[36:53] But we all saw it on our off time is the problem.

[36:56] Yeah, we all saw it for fun.

[36:58] Yeah, this is what we do for ourselves.

[37:02] You know what?

[37:03] I would not argue for it to be a good movie.

[37:06] Good because it's not.

[37:07] If we're going to spend a little time on G.I. Joe, The Rise of the Cobra,

[37:10] I would say that I had much more fun watching that than most of the movies that were watched for the flop.

[37:16] Sure.

[37:16] Well, Channing Tatum has way more charisma than Eric Balfour.

[37:20] Which is, wow, that is the backest-handed compliment of any kind to Channing Tatum or criticism because Channing Tatum is like a mannequin.

[37:31] But what a mannequin.

[37:33] But it's – there's – G.I. Joe has enough things in it that are nuts to get you going and at least there's energy in it.

[37:41] It's a terrible movie and it doesn't make any sense and it's stupid and especially for a movie called The Rise of Cobra to end with Cobra being thrown in jail.

[37:48] It really doesn't make sense.

[37:50] But at least –

[37:53] It has people running around in robot suits and it has ladies in like tight-fitting clothes.

[37:58] And it takes itself just the right amount of seriously where like the actors in it never wink at the camera except I think Brendan Fraser in his cameo.

[38:05] But the actors never wink at the camera but the movie knows that it's this big dumb adventure movie.

[38:10] There's never a part where like a character is like – like in The Climax, the character is like, you don't die on me.

[38:17] We're going to get you out of here.

[38:19] like someone almost dies and then pulls through and they're like oh we almost lost you oh my god

[38:23] this job is so difficult like we were never meant to worry about these characters because they're

[38:27] all cartoons you know amazing and that girl with the red hair is pretty yeah rachel nichols

[38:32] we're talking about her she's starting p2 oh yeah next level of terror pudgment day yeah p2

[38:39] all right on that note we will move on uh yeah i ruined it sorry dan

[38:48] did you have anything you want to say about gi joe stewart uh no i was gonna i was gonna talk

[38:53] about pudgment day a little bit that would be death by chocolate right yeah he's he's he's

[39:02] he's living liquid chocolate that can turn into any any uh shave so uh this is primarily bunnies

[39:09] And like squares

[39:10] And footballs

[39:11] Yeah

[39:11] Cream eggs

[39:12] Oranges

[39:14] No you can't do a cream egg

[39:15] It's got moving parts right

[39:17] Yeah it's got

[39:18] Moving parts

[39:19] It can't take any cream

[39:20] Back through time with it

[39:21] So it shows up just chocolate

[39:22] It can't take nougat with it

[39:25] Well that's how you know

[39:27] It's the

[39:27] The robot

[39:29] Chocolate egg

[39:30] Is cause there's no cream inside it

[39:31] You crack it open

[39:32] And it's just more chocolate

[39:33] And then it turns into a knife

[39:34] I mean it's not very dangerous

[39:37] Cause it's a chocolate knife

[39:38] You can just bite off the end of it.

[39:40] I mean, you want to because it's delicious.

[39:42] That would have been a great end of the climax where the killer chocolate cyborg is just eaten by the hero.

[39:50] Why didn't I think of this before?

[39:52] I didn't realize I could just melt it down and put it on my sundae.

[39:56] Yum.

[39:57] Okay, this is from Dash, last name withheld.

[40:01] It says...

[40:03] He has to get into...

[40:05] What?

[40:06] Get into character.

[40:06] I just knew when you went, it's Sam.

[40:08] It's just very dramatic.

[40:10] Dash says, he has to get in a glass battle with Mirror Hitler.

[40:14] That quote is from Stuart in the third annual Oscar episode.

[40:19] I laughed so hard I almost ran off the road.

[40:21] So I just wanted to pass that on to you, Stuart.

[40:25] You almost killed someone.

[40:26] Not the first time.

[40:28] He says, Dan, you never got back to what you thought of Terror Vision.

[40:32] I recently rewatched it and loved the experience.

[40:35] a supremely bizarre, hilarious movie that I would recommend to the listeners of the show.

[40:38] What did you think about it?

[40:39] Well, okay, he's referring to an old recommendation of mine.

[40:43] I don't remember that one.

[40:44] I was talking about how I'd seen most of Terror Vision, or I thought half of it at the time, and I stopped it.

[40:51] Do you mean Changing Channels? Is that the movie you're thinking of?

[40:53] No. Terror Vision. I watched Terror Vision.

[40:56] Stay tuned.

[40:57] It was a week that I had not had enough time to watch movies,

[41:04] but I'd seen most of Terror Vision, and I recommended it.

[41:08] And you all made fun of me for recommending something that I hadn't seen all of.

[41:12] Was this an episode I was on?

[41:14] Yeah.

[41:14] I don't even remember this.

[41:15] I remember this.

[41:16] I promised that I would get back with a report on Terror Vision.

[41:18] So if you've been waiting all that time,

[41:23] if you've been held in suspense the months since I mentioned Terror Vision.

[41:28] Well, they've had it out from Netflix for months and months.

[41:31] This is when we finally found out who the X-Trader was.

[41:34] And after years and years of them laying the clues –

[41:38] Who was the X-Traitor?

[41:39] Turned out to be –

[41:40] Carmen Sandiego.

[41:41] First it was –

[41:41] Wow.

[41:42] That was what was so surprising about it was she wasn't even an X-Men character.

[41:46] And I'm still waiting for an answer.

[41:49] Well, there were two times that they revealed someone who was supposed to be the X-Traitor.

[41:52] First Colossus when he threw in with Magneto.

[41:56] Then it turned out that wasn't it.

[41:57] And then Professor X when he was revealed to be Onslaught.

[41:59] Oh.

[42:00] Which led briefly to the Heroes Reborn.

[42:03] So, Dash, I hope that answers your question.

[42:04] About Terror Vision.

[42:06] All right, Dan, say what you thought about Terror Vision.

[42:07] Colossus Peter Rasputin, painter mutant.

[42:11] No.

[42:12] He's from Russia, so his last name is Rasputin.

[42:15] So it turns out that I had one minute left in Terror Vision because that movie is 68 minutes long.

[42:23] And so I thought there was more left.

[42:26] My DVR had recorded something after it, which is why I thought there was more.

[42:31] So I actually had seen basically all of Terror Vision.

[42:33] So that's the really anticlimactic finish.

[42:37] That's the exact opposite.

[42:38] And did you like it?

[42:39] I did like it.

[42:40] That's the exact opposite of what happens whenever an element of crime is on TV.

[42:43] The – why is his name escaping me now?

[42:48] Sam Elliott.

[42:49] No.

[42:49] Dexter.

[42:51] Who did – it was – who did Dogville?

[42:54] Lars von Trier.

[42:55] Lars von Trier.

[42:56] It's one of his early movies.

[42:57] And every time it's on TV, TiVo thinks it is a half hour long.

[43:01] But it is two hours long.

[43:03] So I've never seen the whole movie because every time I start to watch it and I record it, it ends at a half hour in.

[43:08] Or, you know, so anyway.

[43:11] Tivo's just not a fan, a von Trier fan.

[43:13] Does not want me to watch that.

[43:14] Okay.

[43:15] Well, okay.

[43:15] So I hope that actually answers.

[43:17] So this is from Jason, last name withheld.

[43:20] It says, I discovered the Flophouse through Dan's appearance on Read It and Weep, which is a podcast.

[43:25] That's a good podcast.

[43:26] I guess it was.

[43:26] And you did a good job.

[43:28] Thank you.

[43:29] Thank you very much.

[43:30] Seek it out, people.

[43:31] or don't it's all really up to you i'm not going to come to your house and force you

[43:34] he will but uh he's he says i enjoyed that i'm discovering the back catalog the show is rapidly

[43:42] becoming my favorite show featuring a racist elliot a homophobe wait how am i a racist and

[43:46] a drunk steward yeah drunk is easily the best of those oh by far that's the best of them also i

[43:54] noticed that the uh every time the three of you are together elliot makes an a the original peaches

[43:59] joke which nobody else on the show ever reacts to by contrast i crack crack up every time well

[44:06] the reason i don't crack up is that as you say he makes it every time the three of us are together

[44:11] so it loses its appeal is that what you're saying but are you arguing that we are not the original

[44:15] peaches come on uh well i'm not laurie petty that's i mean i'd be laurie petty you'd be laurie

[44:23] petty you'd be gina davis okay you're probably right and dan would be rosie o'donnell no

[44:26] At least give me Madonna

[44:28] At least let me be Madonna

[44:30] You're the player who's really good but is unattractive

[44:34] How about I'm the one who gets married

[44:36] No nonsense

[44:36] You could be the one whose husband dies in the war

[44:39] Betty Spaghetti

[44:41] Okay, I'll take it

[44:43] Anyway

[44:44] And I'm Lori Petty

[44:45] So he says, my question is this

[44:48] I appear on a podcast about games

[44:50] PulpGamer.com's Out of Character

[44:52] There's your plug

[44:53] There's your plug out of character

[44:55] where i'm the rpg guy feels so dirty similar to how dan is quote the sad guy on your show

[45:01] very similar i know you're all nerdy enough to have an opinion on this of the movies you've

[45:07] watched which one would be best when adapted to a role-playing game that you would need

[45:11] eight-sided dice to play oh stewart on flopping stewart is the specialist in this world

[45:15] this is super fucking easy it's brats the movie i was gonna say it has to be brats

[45:21] That's true, because they got the four separate characters.

[45:24] You got your spellcaster brat.

[45:26] Sports brat.

[45:27] Spellcaster brat.

[45:30] Your paladin brat.

[45:31] Sure, absolutely.

[45:32] Your chaotic evil mage brat.

[45:34] Chaotic evil mage brat, I don't know.

[45:38] I don't think you can be chaotic evil and a brat, but we'll talk about that later.

[45:42] That's true, the brats are all chaotic good.

[45:43] So many good non-player characters.

[45:45] You have that deaf DJ.

[45:47] Yeah, that's right.

[45:48] I totally forgot about him.

[45:51] The deaf musician.

[45:53] John Voight.

[45:54] John Voight, the principal, yeah.

[45:56] And the rich girl.

[45:57] There's a rich...

[45:58] Sure, well, she's the villain.

[45:59] Yeah.

[46:00] Oh, and the elephant has to be a playable character that she rides into her party.

[46:03] Sure.

[46:04] And there's a rich Bratz universe.

[46:06] That's part of her trappings.

[46:07] Yes.

[46:08] We've got the Cary Nation high school.

[46:11] Well, yeah, that would be the first supplement.

[46:14] It would be the Cary Nation guidebook.

[46:16] That's not the...

[46:18] Yeah, well, it's the first adventure.

[46:19] I would feel like that's the starting set.

[46:21] Well, no, like the main rulebook would have like all the rules for being a brat and evil villains and stuff like that and PC ideas and all the rules for creating your own adventures.

[46:33] What are PC ideas?

[46:34] Explain.

[46:34] Well, like ideas on how to get started and form a brat, like what makes a brat different than a regular human, like a normie is what we would call a sapien.

[46:45] I assume that that quality is bratitude.

[46:48] Yeah.

[46:48] And your bratitude levels will go up.

[46:50] Yeah, you got to roll to see what your base Bratitude level is.

[46:53] Well, that would be in Chapter 4, Bratitude.

[46:55] And then you would have the expansion pack.

[46:59] So you're saying the first one would be the school.

[47:01] Yeah, well, it would be like a world book almost where it explains the geography, maybe some important characters, some adventure ideas for the Game Master or the Brat Master, depending on –

[47:12] Now, what other – there would have to be a capsule that's all about – they're starting their music career.

[47:17] Sure, yeah.

[47:18] Because that's how the movie ends.

[47:19] Well, that could either be a supplement or maybe an adventure pack where you can...

[47:26] And like helping the one's mom with her catering business?

[47:28] Sure, absolutely.

[47:29] Those are all adventure seeds, Elliot.

[47:31] A recall for the events of Bratz the movie is amazing.

[47:35] I couldn't believe you remembered the name of the high school.

[47:38] Oh, God.

[47:41] All right, well, I think that covers that question.

[47:44] I think that's a good idea.

[47:45] You're welcome.

[47:45] And so if the makers of Bratz are out there.

[47:49] If the owners of the rights of Bratz are interested in a role-playing game.

[47:52] Get in touch, and we won't get back to you.

[47:55] So this is, guys, what if Penny Met a Dinosaur has been sweeping the nation?

[48:01] Yeah, Rebecca Black has nothing on what if Penny Met a Dinosaur.

[48:05] So these last two are about what if Penny Met a Dinosaur.

[48:10] Yeah, the first one says, written by Dan to Dan.

[48:14] The first one is from Brendan, last name with hell, and he says,

[48:17] So I googled what if Penny met a dinosaur, and the guy who made the comment on YouTube had just made the comment,

[48:23] Would you touch April's boobs?

[48:25] You, the letter you, on a video of April O'Neil from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

[48:31] I felt you should be updated.

[48:32] So they're carrying on the tradition, the investigative tradition that I started with.

[48:38] I do want to point out that the person who wrote the letter's name was Brendan, or Bren-Dan.

[48:43] Oh!

[48:44] See?

[48:45] You gotta find the clues.

[48:47] Put the pieces of the puzzle together.

[48:48] So intricate.

[48:49] Worlds and worlds.

[48:51] It's like the Westing game.

[48:52] Okay, well this is similar.

[48:56] Would you touch April's boobs?

[48:57] What a ridiculous comment.

[48:59] Well, that's why he put it on the internet.

[49:03] For the entire world to see and dissect.

[49:04] Unless it's what he was saying.

[49:05] He was watching this clip from Ninja Turtles and he's going,

[49:07] Would you just touch April's boobs already?

[49:09] Come on, Raphael.

[49:11] I don't even know why he's telling us.

[49:13] Come on, other reporter that works at the station.

[49:15] Obviously, April, as an animated character.

[49:19] Bebop, come on.

[49:20] You're leaving money on the table here.

[49:22] You can see she wants it.

[49:23] Rocksteady, be so upset.

[49:27] Continue.

[49:29] No, as an animated character, obviously you can't.

[49:32] So in that context, it doesn't work.

[49:33] But what he's saying is if she was real, would you touch April's boobs?

[49:38] If you were in Cool World, then why wouldn't you?

[49:41] Yeah, you would.

[49:42] No, that's – you would.

[49:43] So he's not wondering why Baxter Stockman is not groping April.

[49:49] Maybe that was directed at us through the medium of YouTube comments.

[49:53] Maybe he knew that we would –

[49:54] That we brought to our attention by Brendan Lastname with help.

[49:57] That's good stuff.

[49:59] So this last thing came in at –

[50:01] I want to meet that guy.

[50:02] Or not meet him, but I want to know who he is so badly.

[50:04] Well, this is another piece of the puzzle.

[50:06] This last thing comes in from AtUnsupervised on Twitter.

[50:11] He sent a direct message to us, or he sent an at message, at the Flophouse pod.

[50:17] Is that our Twitter presence?

[50:19] Yeah, that's our Twitter presence.

[50:20] And Unsupervised says, this goes even deeper than just Penny.

[50:25] And he sent a Google search he had done with the words MetaDinosaur and this gentleman's username.

[50:33] And so this gentleman also wants to know what would happen if these various characters MetaDinosaur.

[50:41] Kermit, Bob from Sesame Street, Zach Wheezy from Dragon Tales, I don't know what that

[50:46] is, Ernie and Bert, Arthur the Aardvark, Grover, Super Grover.

[50:52] Grover and Super Grover, I hate to bring it.

[50:54] The news to everybody.

[50:55] What?

[50:56] Grover and Super Grover are the same Grover.

[50:58] It's just in.

[50:58] Spoiler alert.

[50:58] Same monster.

[50:59] Big Bird, Telly, Abby Cadabby, Buddy the Dinosaur.

[51:04] That's sort of conceptual.

[51:05] He's already a dinosaur.

[51:07] I assume he met a dinosaur when he was born.

[51:09] Or he met himself.

[51:11] Elmo, and then lastly, Roy G. Biv, the mnemonic to remember the hues of the visible spectrum.

[51:16] So, I guess the internet is abuzz over what would happen if these characters met dinosaurs.

[51:25] What a weird thing to become the secondary reason for this podcast to exist.

[51:30] Bad movies and investigating this guy who loves to find out if...

[51:35] So, also, if you're confused by this whole conversation, go back and listen to the Oscar episode, the Floptacular.

[51:42] Which you probably skipped because we weren't talking about a movie.

[51:44] Yeah.

[51:45] But Dan told a riveting tale.

[51:48] It's a canonical episode, so we're now going to be referring back to it.

[51:51] Oh, yeah.

[51:51] It'll be in the Flophouse Essentials album.

[51:53] Dan's, I think your story will be anthologized probably at some point.

[51:58] Yeah.

[51:59] It's probably, StoryCorps is going to put that.

[52:02] We've got to record this for future generations.

[52:05] so uh now is the point in the podcast where we make our movie recommendations

[52:10] uh probably quickly because we spent a lot of time on letters um rightfully so a movie that

[52:16] we actually saw and enjoyed to watch perhaps instead of skyline stewart do you have something

[52:22] or you could always just watch grass what's that or you know like is that a movie okay there is a

[52:28] movie called grass but they like or you could watch the sky itself anything is more interesting

[52:31] Like an actual skyline is probably more interesting than the movie skyline.

[52:35] We have a lovely one here in New York.

[52:37] Yeah, I want to recommend a movie that is available on demand on cable right now called Black Death starring Sean Bean.

[52:47] It's made by the same guy who made – a British filmmaker made the movie Severance and Creep.

[52:53] Both good movies.

[52:56] I think I've recommended at least one of them before.

[52:58] And it's kind of a thrill – like a – it's a historical thriller set during – set in England during the bubonic plague and it's about a –

[53:11] Bubonic plague.

[53:12] Yeah, the bubonic plague.

[53:13] It's not boobs.

[53:14] The boo – no, the bubonic plague.

[53:16] However –

[53:17] Yeah, it's a crazy movie.

[53:18] I'll explain a little.

[53:19] However, it's Pulitzer, not Pulitzer.

[53:21] Yeah.

[53:22] So yeah, I don't remember.

[53:25] Oh, yeah.

[53:26] It's about like a monk and a couple of mercenaries who are investigating why one village is completely untouched by the plague.

[53:33] And it's –

[53:35] Turns out penicillin.

[53:36] It manages to be both –

[53:38] I don't know why.

[53:38] It manages to be dark and an interesting portrayal of both faith and the time period.

[53:47] And it's good.

[53:48] I recommend it.

[53:49] And it's kind of gross.

[53:50] Okay.

[53:51] I'd like to recommend a movie I watched just this morning

[53:54] Called Winnebago Man

[53:56] Cave Girl?

[53:57] No, Winnebago Man

[53:58] Which is a documentary

[54:01] No, no, that was RV with Robin Williams, right?

[54:03] Oh, yeah

[54:04] On vacation, no one can hear you scream

[54:06] Not that movie

[54:07] I'm recommending Winnebago Man

[54:09] A documentary

[54:09] About a man who is the star of a famous viral video

[54:15] Actually, predated viral videos

[54:17] It was passed around as VHS tape for a while

[54:21] before youtube was a thing like the ring uh yeah and uh just a man wigging out and getting

[54:30] very angry and swearing during the making of a winnebago uh video um a video selling winnebago's

[54:38] yeah but it was like also it was kind of like an industrial it wasn't like a commercial

[54:41] yeah i mean when you say winnebago video like that's not a common thing

[54:44] fair enough uh and you're asking more questions than you're answering and the filmmaker tracked

[54:51] this guy down to see like you know like i love this video but what is this you know what's this

[54:55] guy's deal and he he lucked into a much more interesting story than you might imagine would

[55:00] be the case just being like okay who's the guy behind this viral video but i mean just on that

[55:06] level it addresses some questions about um you know what it's like to live in this world where

[55:11] one aspect of a man's

[55:13] life can be

[55:14] widely seen and

[55:17] be like the only thing that people know him

[55:19] for but also beyond that

[55:21] just a character study of the

[55:23] man who was

[55:25] discovered and how he's much more

[55:27] complex than that one moment in his

[55:29] life would suggest

[55:30] so it was a good movie I recommend it

[55:32] I'd like to see that one and Black Death I'd like to

[55:35] see I will recommend quickly

[55:37] a movie called Ballad of a Soldier

[55:39] It's a Russian movie from the 50s that's set during World War II.

[55:43] It's available on Netflix.

[55:45] Watch instantly so it's not hard to find.

[55:47] This soldier manages to knock out two tanks in a battle, and so as a reward for basically winning the battle, they give him two days' leave so he can go home and see his mother.

[55:59] And it's kind of about his attempts to get back home and the people that he meets along the way and the things that happen to him.

[56:07] And it's just a very well-done, touching movie.

[56:10] It's a nice movie to see that's a Soviet film, but it is not – any kind of propaganda elements are very, very, very minor and subtle.

[56:19] And it really in a lot of ways could as easily have been set anywhere.

[56:24] But it was very good, and I liked it a lot.

[56:26] Great.

[56:27] Well, guys, we've done it.

[56:30] We've done it again.

[56:31] Another episode.

[56:32] The original peaches.

[56:33] There it is.

[56:35] Oh, man.

[56:36] Thought you were safe, but no.

[56:38] Oh, man.

[56:40] So what's up?

[56:40] Should probably sign off.

[56:43] We don't want to waste any more of these people's time.

[56:45] Sure we do.

[56:45] Sure.

[56:46] For the Flophouse, though.

[56:47] I've been Dan McCoy.

[56:49] And I'm Stuart Wellington.

[56:50] Check under your bed.

[56:51] It's Elliot Kalin.

[56:52] Good night, everyone.

[56:55] You know, throw one in there for the fans.

[56:58] There's a lot of tension in the air, guys, because of Skyline.

[57:05] Just want you all to know, you're good friends of mine.

[57:07] Sure.

[57:08] So, no reason for it.

[57:09] I don't want to watch that again.

[57:11] So, it wasn't scheduled, so.

[57:13] We're not going to lose this flopcast, right?

[57:16] Yeah.

[57:16] Like Babylon AD, right?

[57:18] This is going to be great.

[57:19] We just let it go, though.

[57:21] And when that happened, we didn't watch Babylon AD again.

[57:23] No, we did not.

The Flop House: Episode #77 - Skyline

Transcript

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