The Flop House: Episode #79 - Knight and Day

[0:00] In this episode, we discuss Night and Day, the 2010 Oscar winner for a pun title that

[0:06] doesn't make sense.

[0:07] Hey everyone, welcome to the Flophouse, I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:37] I'm Elliott Kaelin and I'm special surprise guest.

[0:42] Figure out who I am, then write in two weeks from now and tell me who you think I am.

[0:49] Yeah, don't write to us, write to him.

[0:51] Yes, when you figure out who I am, find me.

[0:57] That would be a great Flophouse contest, but I feel like we have to identify our guests.

[1:02] All right, you're the boss.

[1:03] You do the honors.

[1:04] Joining us today is my friend and co-worker, Mr. Wyatt Sinek.

[1:09] Damn it, you ruined it.

[1:11] You ruined everything.

[1:12] Contest over, everyone.

[1:13] No.

[1:14] I'm sorry.

[1:15] Elliott can't let a contest just go.

[1:18] I know that everyone here, they wanted to be involved in the contest.

[1:22] They wanted to have fun because that's what podcasts are about.

[1:24] They're about having fun while you listen to the podcast, you're out there scavenger

[1:28] hunting looking for me.

[1:30] Here's the thing, our listeners know that we introduce a lot of contests that are never

[1:33] paid off and winners are never chosen, so I wanted to save them the trouble.

[1:38] People actually write in asking when the next vaguely defined contest is going to be, and

[1:44] I hate to disappoint them, so I guess this is it.

[1:46] Oh yeah.

[1:47] This contest had a clear winner.

[1:49] Me?

[1:50] No, if you figured out who I was, then you got to help me move.

[1:55] Oh, that was the prize?

[1:57] Yeah.

[1:58] I think Elliott, you just committed yourself to helping Wyatt move.

[2:00] Oh, I don't want to do that.

[2:01] Oh, I get it, all right.

[2:03] The flip side of that, if you assumed I was like, I don't know, that like crusty hobo

[2:08] that hangs out under the train station, then you go and you make a new friend.

[2:14] Were you on the flop house?

[2:17] Well, I stayed in a flop house.

[2:20] Wait, is it one hobo that found another hobo?

[2:23] A listener who knew about that guy is also a hobo.

[2:26] You have whiskey peed as a listener?

[2:28] Two elderly lady hobos together.

[2:30] Now, there's a show.

[2:32] It's the Golden Girls, but they're homeless.

[2:36] This is a show I think we could do.

[2:37] Yeah, I like it.

[2:38] Now, listeners.

[2:39] The homeless girls.

[2:40] The tin cup girls.

[2:41] The tin cup.

[2:42] The penny whistle girls.

[2:43] Listeners, of course, will be familiar with Wyatt.

[2:46] From this podcast, from just a few moments ago.

[2:50] Yep, you just heard his voice.

[2:51] And from Untitled Kanye West HBO Project, probably the number one.

[2:59] Someone went to IMDb today.

[3:02] That's I think the only reason IMDb exists, so people can make that joke.

[3:07] But no, of course.

[3:08] The Daily Show.

[3:09] Daily Show.

[3:10] The hit blockbuster film, Medicine for Melancholy.

[3:14] And the Untitled Kanye West HBO Project that, keeping fingers crossed, it's been about four

[3:21] or five years now.

[3:23] We still haven't heard back.

[3:24] So any day, HBO will green light it, and it will be the thing that follows Game of Thrones.

[3:31] Kanye's not one of those guys who just kind of lets a project fall without coming back

[3:35] to it.

[3:36] I wouldn't think so.

[3:37] Especially now that that project is tweeting.

[3:39] He seems to have taken to that.

[3:41] I'm just saying Adam West did not raise a kid who did not follow through on his promises.

[3:46] It's true.

[3:47] Adam West and Diane Wiest.

[3:50] Their son, Kanye.

[3:53] Another great show idea.

[3:54] The Wests.

[3:56] Meet the Wests on After the Tin Cup Girls.

[4:00] It's called the Westing Game.

[4:02] We call it the Rich and Poor Hour.

[4:07] This is much more fun than actually talking about the movie.

[4:11] I feel like I need to get this on track, but I don't want to.

[4:14] Well, you're the boss.

[4:15] You decide.

[4:16] No, I mean...

[4:17] All right, new contest.

[4:18] If you call in right now, if you're the 45th caller, you get to decide what we talk about.

[4:25] That's a good contest, if this was airing live.

[4:28] Or they knew where to call.

[4:29] Hold on.

[4:30] Oh, first, figure out where to call.

[4:32] First, figure out my number.

[4:34] And then if 44 of you figure it out...

[4:36] Here's a hint.

[4:37] It's got a 2 in it.

[4:39] Don't give it away!

[4:40] That's just to get them started.

[4:42] Oh, you ruin every contest.

[4:45] I'm the contest ruiner.

[4:47] Yeah.

[4:48] That was my Batman villain character.

[4:50] Really?

[4:51] Yeah.

[4:52] He just keeps like...

[4:53] He just ruined contests, which is not technically a crime.

[4:57] Bruce Wayne is like a real contest aficionado.

[5:00] He just loves them.

[5:01] He loves contests.

[5:02] Well, Batman, it looks like you've won this scratcher.

[5:05] But I'm going to scratch everything off!

[5:07] No!

[5:08] Contest ruiner!

[5:09] Like, Bruce Wayne's sitting in the movies and the screen scramble is up, and the contest

[5:14] ruiner just yells out the answer.

[5:16] It's Indiana Jones!

[5:17] I didn't even get a chance to read it yet.

[5:20] Oops, guess I ruined your contest!

[5:24] Oh, and I'm going to ruin the movie, too.

[5:27] The Bureau gets adjusted.

[5:30] Spoiler alert!

[5:32] That's my sidekick.

[5:36] Who's just me, because I can't afford a real sidekick?

[5:39] You're so lucky that you have your own ward.

[5:42] Man, I wish.

[5:44] I wish I could feed myself.

[5:46] Oh, the movie's been going for 10 minutes.

[5:48] I don't know what's happening because he keeps talking.

[5:50] I told you, the Bureau gets adjusted.

[5:54] That's me ruining you guys!

[6:00] Yeah, the contest ruiner is branching out and just ruining movies.

[6:05] I hope he doesn't team up with Seven Pounds.

[6:08] New contest!

[6:10] Those of you who are artists, why don't you draw us a few panels of Batman versus the

[6:15] contest ruiner?

[6:16] See, now that's a good contest.

[6:18] Considering unsolicited, we have people sending in pictures of Penny from Inspector Gadget

[6:22] fighting a dinosaur.

[6:23] Well, now you've got something else to kill your day with.

[6:27] As you're listening to this podcast, hating the job you're in, doodling on some graph

[6:32] paper, why don't you doodle something with purpose?

[6:35] I'm speaking specifically about one of you who works with graph paper.

[6:40] And the prize is the feeling of accomplishment you get after having drawn the contest ruiner.

[6:46] So the movie we watched tonight was called Night and Day.

[6:51] Now, you might be thinking, oh, Night and Day, N-I-G-H-T-N-Day.

[6:55] No, wrong.

[6:57] Spelled like a knight, like a medieval knight.

[6:59] Like Knight and Day.

[7:00] Exactly, Knight and Day.

[7:02] So like M. Knight Shyamalan.

[7:04] Exactly, but not spelled that way at all.

[7:07] That's how he spells it, because he's a knight.

[7:10] Then he would be Sir M. Knight Shyamalan.

[7:13] Well, he doesn't want to be so formal.

[7:16] Okay, that's pretty good then.

[7:19] So yeah, this is a blockbuster film.

[7:22] Blockbuster film with two...

[7:23] James Mangold directed it.

[7:25] James Mangold, man made out of gold.

[7:27] I have to assume his name...

[7:28] Another Batman villain.

[7:29] I have to assume he was just named James Goldman and he changed his name.

[7:32] If you say it too fast, it sounds like James Mangold.

[7:35] Yeah, like he got mangled.

[7:37] Oh, that poor mangled man.

[7:40] You should let him direct the movie.

[7:42] Direct the movie that he wants to that doesn't really make any sense when you get down to it.

[7:46] Let him direct it.

[7:47] He's been mangled.

[7:49] So to tell the story in a nutshell, Cameron Diaz is...

[7:53] Ellie, get out of that nutshell.

[7:55] Yeah, eh, eh, eh.

[7:57] Wow.

[7:58] Classic Vaudeville bit.

[7:59] Batman villain, the podcast ruiner.

[8:04] Cameron Diaz has to get back to Boston for her sister's wedding.

[8:09] But on the plane, she runs... or in the airport, she bumps into Tom Cruise,

[8:14] who of course turns out to be a spy.

[8:16] And through a series of hijinks that involve Tom Cruise killing everyone on a plane

[8:21] and then crashing it, Tom Cruise shooting Cameron Diaz's ex-boyfriend in the leg,

[8:27] Tom Cruise getting her into danger and death and trouble,

[8:31] and Tom Cruise wearing a turtleneck sweater at one point.

[8:34] Mock turtleneck.

[8:35] Mock turtleneck.

[8:36] Mock turtleneck with a sport coat over it.

[8:39] Yeah, very classy.

[8:42] Basically, Tom Cruise...

[8:43] He should be in a Swiss chalet serving some hot chocolate with little marshmallows in it.

[8:48] Instead of marshmallows.

[8:49] That is a man in need of a mustache.

[8:51] Yes, he should have had a mustache and marshmallows.

[8:53] And marshmallows.

[8:56] And marshmallows.

[9:00] So basically, Tom Cruise is a spy.

[9:02] He's been framed by another spy.

[9:04] What?

[9:05] To make it look like he is going rogue and stealing a super-secret battery

[9:08] invented by awkward genius Paul Dano.

[9:11] And the battery is called the Zephyr.

[9:13] It's called the Zephyr.

[9:14] He's been framed to make it look like he stole the Zephyr

[9:17] and is trying to sell it to a Spanish crime boss

[9:20] who, for some reason, wants this.

[9:22] Named Anthony Quintano.

[9:24] Yes.

[9:25] I remembered names.

[9:30] I just remembered him as Spanish Fisher Stevens.

[9:33] Which is also pretty accurate.

[9:36] He's an arms dealer, so he wants this battery, I guess,

[9:38] to power the nuclear weapon that he will sell to somebody.

[9:41] But it's never really explained why he wants it.

[9:44] So there's a series of hijinks.

[9:46] It's like a romantic comedy with a lot of guns and things.

[9:50] And Cameron Diaz, they run around and they get captured

[9:53] and Cameron Diaz gets knocked out like 80 times.

[9:56] Yes.

[9:57] Well, not just knocked out, like roofied.

[10:00] He and Cameron Diaz are both like a little too old to be playing these parts and they're

[10:22] both in very good shape but they're in the good shape that like people in their 40s are

[10:27] in where their skin is like a little too tight in an artificially weird way.

[10:32] See but that's what I liked about it is that they are the perfect ages to be doing this.

[10:38] Cameron Diaz you know struggling as her sister her younger sister is getting married and

[10:45] not dealing with it well so when she's on an empty airplane with Tom Cruise the first

[10:52] thing she thinks to do is get drunk and make out with him even though she's never met him

[10:58] before and doesn't seem to think it's weird that there's almost no one else on the plane

[11:03] the people who are on the plane are all dead and you can just walk around during turbulence

[11:08] and no one tells you to stop. Right early on it was a great commercial for commercial

[11:14] airline travel because early on in the movie they go and they get on she tries to get on

[11:22] the same flight that Tom Cruise is getting on to go to Boston. She's already checked in she's

[11:27] past security. Past security goes to board the plane they say the plane's full you can't

[11:33] get on this plane and then all of a sudden through some sort of magic the movie magic

[11:42] she gets on the airplane to find that there were only eight people who were also on this

[11:47] airplane presumably all trying to get back to Lost Island. Yeah well Shannon from Lost

[11:56] is in the movie as her sister so I guess that was that was the tie-in there but yeah she later

[12:03] on after that was a big selling point for the movie yeah the unofficial Lost crossover or

[12:08] lost over as they called it the Burger King figurines figurines plastic mugs the contest

[12:16] get lost on Lost with night and day. Yeah I was wondering waiting for the night and day time.

[12:22] So we could go over basically the plot in more detail but it's basically just Cameron Diaz

[12:28] getting pulled along on a series of adventures falling for Tom Cruise not trusting him and

[12:33] turning him in then realizing he was the hero after all having to try to save him and then

[12:39] they both save each other and there's a lot of shooting and explosions and everything works

[12:43] out okay in the end. She also meets his parents. She meets his parents who think he died in the

[12:48] Gulf War yeah and of course apparently he is now undercover as a spy his parents think he's dead

[12:52] but he has arranged to the government that his parents keep winning the lottery and the

[12:56] publisher's clearinghouse sweepstakes. Yeah so they can get money for stuff because they're

[13:01] stupid old people. Yeah that's more money than it that seems like an abuse of power.

[13:06] Can we just arrange some sort of pension? Nope, nope lottery. Cameron Diaz is a mechanic. Yes

[13:13] Cameron Diaz is a mechanic who's obsessed with her dad's GTO and talks about a lot and finally

[13:19] gets to drive it at the end and you wonder why didn't she drive this car before since she owns

[13:23] it. Yeah. Are you asking anyone? Anybody, the God, the universe. New contest. Like there's just a lot.

[13:36] Wyatt is the Batman villain, the contest inventor. He bedevils Batman by inventing all sorts of

[13:42] contests. I was like oh best best bat costume. I was like well I really should I should enter

[13:50] this contest. I feel like I'd be a shoo-in for this one. It's always a trick. Robin has to be like no

[13:55] Batman. It's not it's not a real contest. It's clearly been specifically designed. Robin this

[14:00] flyer was photocopied and pasted on a light pole. This is a real contest. No he's just trying to get

[14:05] you to fill out your address and so that way he can send you mailers. He just wants to send you

[14:12] circulars. Look he sells ad space on his circulars. You're just falling right into his hands. Oh Batman

[14:20] this is you're just gonna be the front stoop is just gonna be covered. I could win a hundred

[14:25] thousand dollars in prizes. No he's gonna get you on that BMG CD thing. Robin all I have to do is

[14:34] subscribe to four magazines and I've entered to win a million dollars and I can cancel the

[14:39] magazines at any time. Batman you're a billionaire you don't need to. Look at the prices of these

[14:46] magazines. $6.99. I'm getting you self-magazine Robin. Getting a little tubby around the old thighs

[14:54] there my young lord. I know you're always trying to get into Batgirl's head so a little self-magazine

[15:02] better understand the ladies. One thing that you've got a burgeoning comics writing career I

[15:12] think that you could pitch these stories. I don't really think I can pitch these stories. The contest

[15:17] ruiner or the contest inventor. Wait until the wait until we get the panels in from people. Yeah

[15:24] and see who's best. Yeah yeah there might be real visual art. Yeah you gotta have your sizzle reel

[15:30] ready. Something that just struck me early in the movie Tom Cruise's character whose name is like

[15:42] Rummy Miller or something like that. His name is Roy Miller. Rummy Miller. So Rummy he has this battery

[15:54] the zephyr device and he has to hide it because he knows that the FBI are they're looking for him at

[16:01] the airport. So he's trying to find something to hide it in and then he finds a night figurine

[16:08] which he puts it in. Yeah which screws open somehow. Yeah somehow it's a hollowed out thing

[16:13] but there's a moment where he looks at and he's like ha ha this is the perfect thing

[16:18] and then later on you learn that his real last name is Knight. Yeah and there's something very

[16:27] arrogant beautifully arrogant about a guy being like what to hide this in the thing that reminds

[16:36] me most of me. I would have liked it if his name was Miller and he found like a tiny figurine of

[16:43] a guy working a mill. They did not have that in the gift shop. Or like a pepper mill or something like that

[16:48] but there's no one named Day in the movie. Well I think you missed Susan Day's cameo. I must have.

[16:55] It's like you're waiting for the character named Day to show up and I feel like that what would

[16:59] be great after credit sequence. Yeah hey folks it's me Day. Were you waiting for me? Here I am

[17:07] well goodbye have a good ride home. Well there was that one character Day

[17:14] yeah yeah I don't think that really counts. There was the one character

[17:17] Day a sex machina at the end of the movie. Get out of that nutshell Elliot. Wow

[17:28] There's also something strange about the movie and I think this is something I enjoy about the

[17:35] movie. I've decided these guys they can trash it but I want to work in Hollywood and I know

[17:43] everyone in Hollywood listens to this podcast so I don't want to piss anybody off because seriously

[17:49] if you make a Night and Day 2 or Night and Day and Sunset I would love to be in it. Like Charles

[17:55] Sunset. Well but that's the thing his name is Night and you think oh that's awesome you should

[18:02] you could do something with that but instead that's the name he no longer goes by. The movie

[18:08] really should be called like Miller and Hagen. Attorneys at Law. Or just have Miller be his

[18:15] old name and Night is his current name. I mean that seems like it's yeah like Michael Night.

[18:20] Like if you're gonna play if you're gonna have a figurine of a Knight and have someone named

[18:23] Night just like go with it all out. Well it's like our movie Truth and Justin. Yeah Truth and

[18:29] Starring Anthony Truth and Justin Justice. That's right. For featuring. Yeah and it makes sense

[18:37] because it's got both of their names. It's got Truth and Justin. For Justin Justice. That is

[18:44] Truth and Advertising. Truth and Justin in Advertising. All right. I'm trying to like

[18:51] I'm trying to think of a way to tell the plot of this movie that doesn't get bogged down in details

[18:55] because it's just a series of set pieces basically. Yeah you don't need to. I mean you

[18:59] know she. I feel like with the last podcast with Gooby you guys went all out with the plot. Like

[19:05] I felt like I had seen the movie when it was over. But this time like. You guys should have a podcast

[19:10] where you criticize each other. I think that's this podcast. It's basically this podcast. What

[19:16] were you thinking last week? I heard your podcast and I didn't care for it. Callers if you have

[19:24] anything you want to add. No callers. If I wasn't on that podcast I wouldn't listen to the podcast.

[19:31] But there's like there's a scene. There's a fight in a kitchen on a train. There's a shootout in a

[19:37] boat construction building. In Brooklyn. In Brooklyn. It's a Brooklyn. I assume it's supposed

[19:43] to be like the Brooklyn Naval Yards but that got turned into a movie studio I thought. I don't

[19:48] know. Somewhere. They're down in Dumbo. Afterwards they shot for some art. It was a whole day.

[19:54] Mexican food. Set up a studio space. They win us off.

[20:00] Screening of Sandman. Sorry, that was something that Elliot and I did in Dumbo once.

[20:04] That's a reference to one thing that happened, like as if that's always going on in Dumbo.

[20:10] They're showing the movie our friend Eric was in.

[20:12] Yep.

[20:13] As if the audience is going to be like, oh right, always watching Sandman in Dumbo.

[20:19] No, as I said while we're watching the movie, the movie is charade with explosions.

[20:24] Yeah.

[20:25] There's a woman who...

[20:26] Unlike any other movie.

[20:28] There's a woman who this guy says that he's a secret agent and she is not sure whether to trust him

[20:35] and think that he's like a good guy or he might just be a paranoid crazy person who's killing a bunch of people.

[20:41] Yeah, and they are being chased and they have adventures.

[20:44] And I will say about her, she is maybe the dumbest lead female character I've seen in a movie in a long time.

[20:51] She's eager to believe whatever anyone tells her a moment ago.

[20:56] She runs right into hails of gunfire.

[20:58] Yeah, she does a lot of flailing of the arms.

[21:00] A lot of running around with her arms flailing like olive oil.

[21:03] That's what personally I love about it.

[21:06] I love it that they took convention and turned it on its ear and said, you know what?

[21:13] The convention of what? The competent woman?

[21:15] The convention of your typical character who's being dragged along in somebody else's adventure.

[21:24] That she, rather than be skeptical of it, has a positive attitude.

[21:29] Just goes with it all the time.

[21:31] Is like, sure, yes, you've drugged me like five times.

[21:35] Well, you did say this is the same movie that while we were watching it,

[21:38] why you referred to as a defensive date rape.

[21:40] It kind of the amount of times she gets drugged.

[21:43] It does seem like because she gets drugged and then every time she gets drugged,

[21:48] it goes to white and then she wakes up and she's in a hotel

[21:52] and then kind of falls asleep again and then she's in a hammock on the beach.

[21:56] And it seems like if anybody were trying to make any sort of ad campaign for the benefits of roofies,

[22:06] it's like if you sold roofies to people like this.

[22:10] This is the way you would do it.

[22:11] Well, this is.

[22:12] Roofies, you never know where you're going to wake up.

[22:15] Exactly.

[22:16] Yeah, people would probably be less inclined to put napkins or coasters on top of their drinks

[22:20] when they go out to smoke cigarettes.

[22:22] That impenetrable force field of a napkin or coaster.

[22:27] Well, it's foolproof.

[22:28] It's foolproof.

[22:29] It's really more of a courtesy.

[22:31] They put a little hair on top of the napkin.

[22:34] So they know if it's been tampered.

[22:36] Yeah.

[22:37] But what you forget, Wyatt, is at the end of the movie, Cameron Diaz roofies Tom Cruise and then changes his clothes.

[22:44] That's right.

[22:45] If a woman does it to a man, too, then it's OK.

[22:48] It's not just that she's roofie, but that she's roofie and then wakes up in a bikini.

[22:52] Right.

[22:53] Well, yeah, but she had been roofied a few times before.

[22:55] Before that, yeah.

[22:56] It wasn't the first time.

[22:57] What's roofie for the goose is roofie for the ganders, is what this movie is saying.

[23:00] I guess what I'm saying is roofie me once, shame on you.

[23:03] Roofie me twice, shame on me.

[23:05] Roofie me three times, night and day.

[23:08] Yeah.

[23:09] The old saying.

[23:11] The Flophouse tonight is brought to you by Jack's Roofies.

[23:15] Thinking about roofie in that special someone that you just met five minutes ago?

[23:19] Go with Jack's Roofies.

[23:21] I'm Jack of Jack's Roofies, and I don't just sell roofies.

[23:24] I use them, too.

[23:26] Hey, Jack, I bought you.

[23:28] Oh, I'm feeling so sleepy.

[23:29] Another successful roofie from Jack's Roofies.

[23:32] Jack's Roofies.

[23:34] Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

[23:37] Reminds me of the.

[23:38] It shows how Rayleigh gets into an improv bit.

[23:41] That's what happens when you have a professional comedian.

[23:43] That's exactly what I was going to say.

[23:45] Was I not supposed to bring my keyboard?

[23:47] And my pool floats that we were.

[23:50] My pool noodles that we were going to.

[23:52] No, we've got a lot of things we can pretend those pool noodles are.

[23:54] Yeah, that's right.

[23:56] Let's Hooseline this thing.

[23:58] Hooseline this.

[23:59] I was like, it's time for wacky props.

[24:00] Who knows what prop we're going to bring out.

[24:02] It's going to be a pool noodle.

[24:03] It's always a pool noodle.

[24:05] You just stop buying props.

[24:09] It's also like, oh, I have no idea what this is.

[24:11] No one's familiar with a pool noodle.

[24:13] Oh, I guess I'm going to float around on this.

[24:17] For the people who are watching that in the emergency room of a hospital at two

[24:21] in the morning, chances are they probably don't know what a pool noodle is.

[24:27] I love this world that's been constructed where that's the main.

[24:32] That's the main, like the Nielsen studies.

[24:34] It's like, oh, people watch Hooseline.

[24:36] People watch Hooseline are all in a recovery room in a hospital.

[24:38] Yeah, they're all like, oh, I got to get this GI Joe figure out of my ear.

[24:42] Why'd my kid do this to me?

[24:44] Oh.

[24:46] And then some kid who's like, you're not my real daddy.

[24:49] And then it's like, get this GI Joe figure out of my ear.

[24:52] I hate you.

[24:54] I wish my real daddy was here.

[24:56] It's elaborate.

[24:58] I don't even, and they just, it sounds like they don't even notice that Hooseline

[25:01] isn't anyways on the TV.

[25:03] We hate each other.

[25:05] But wait, we both love this.

[25:08] What is he holding?

[25:10] We both love short form improv games.

[25:13] Hey, isn't that Drew Carey from the Drew Carey Show?

[25:17] The voice is really creeping me out.

[25:20] Yeah.

[25:22] It's a little kid who had a smoking problem.

[25:24] He has a fetus and then got one of those voice modulators by about seven years old.

[25:30] He has a fetus and then got one of those voice modulators by about seven or eight.

[25:35] Yeah.

[25:36] Some voice work.

[25:38] Yeah.

[25:39] Anyhoo, so night and day.

[25:41] I can do my voiceover sizzle reel while we're doing this too, right?

[25:46] Yep.

[25:48] A lot of different sizzle reels we've put together tonight.

[25:51] That's why you came here tonight.

[25:53] Actually, you accidentally taped over your voiceover reel.

[25:55] You're like, oh, it should just be cheaper to do this podcast.

[25:58] Exactly, yeah.

[25:59] I'm like, here are my profiles.

[26:03] I guess what I'm saying about this movie is it's a pretty kind of boilerplate movie.

[26:08] It's not a terrible movie, but it's not a very good movie.

[26:11] Yeah.

[26:12] It does have a scene where they're chased by CGI bulls through the streets of Spain.

[26:16] Jumanji.

[26:17] Just like Jumanji.

[26:18] And a motorcycle on a bridge.

[26:20] Just like Lethal Weapon 4.

[26:23] And what other scenes are there in it?

[26:26] The ending is basically the same ending as Repo Man.

[26:29] There was the scene where he's on top of the car, and they go through the tunnel.

[26:33] Oh, and the car flips over him.

[26:35] The car flips over him kind of like in Mission Impossible when the thing exploded over him.

[26:41] He does the Mission Impossible 3 run at the end.

[26:45] You mean with his arms ripped stiff?

[26:47] With his robot arm.

[26:49] What's great is if you ever find these guys.

[26:52] I wish that while he was running through that, he was just saying to himself,

[26:54] I am a running robot.

[26:56] I am a running robot.

[26:58] Because he does look like someone who's never seen that person run before.

[27:02] That's if you ever find yourself in Santa Monica, California.

[27:05] At the right time of day, you can see him running the beach just like that.

[27:11] And people leave him alone because they think, oh, my God, that guy has to go save something.

[27:17] But if you see him, make a wish because that wish will come true.

[27:21] Really? Is that how it works?

[27:22] That's the legend of Santa Monica.

[27:24] That's how it goes.

[27:26] The legend of bagger vans of Santa Monica.

[27:29] That's how I won my wife.

[27:31] I saw Tom Cruise running, and I made a wish.

[27:34] And now she's mine forever.

[27:36] Really?

[27:37] Yeah.

[27:38] Interesting.

[27:39] Romantic.

[27:40] Although a little weird that you won her.

[27:42] Yeah.

[27:43] Usually you like.

[27:44] What was the contest?

[27:45] She was sponsored by the.

[27:47] Well, Batman.

[27:49] We had a wife.

[27:51] First one who spots Tom Cruise wins.

[27:54] Well, my crime fighting has really prevented me from dating like a normal person.

[28:00] He also had an iPod Touch.

[28:02] That gave him information, and he could use it to open car doors.

[28:06] Yeah.

[28:07] Well, he had it, and it would show him.

[28:10] His iPhone would show him the earth, then zoom in on a house, and then show him inside of the house.

[28:18] And inside that house, his parents doing it nonstop.

[28:23] All the time.

[28:24] Like jackrabbits, because they think their kid is dead.

[28:27] So there's nothing to stop them from doing it, because they don't have to worry about their kid showing up.

[28:33] That's what happens after a child dies.

[28:35] Nonstop fuck fest.

[28:37] I saw Don't Look Back, or Don't Look Now.

[28:39] That's true.

[28:40] The movie with Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie.

[28:42] That's exactly what happens.

[28:44] Someone should warn his parents that they're going to get killed by a tiny – like a dwarf in a red raincoat.

[28:49] Yeah.

[28:50] Well, only if they go to Venice.

[28:51] Yeah.

[28:52] Beach.

[28:53] Spoilers.

[28:54] Spoilers, by the way.

[28:55] Yeah, there's – and Peter Sarsgaard is in it.

[28:59] He is.

[29:01] Paul Dano.

[29:03] Viola Davis is doing almost nothing in the movie.

[29:07] The thankless role of the Carmen Sandiego chief who runs the spy agency and just tells exposition to people as emotionlessly as possible.

[29:18] It's a good gig.

[29:19] Yeah.

[29:20] A gig I'm available for.

[29:23] My name is Wyatt Snack.

[29:25] I'm represented by UTA.

[29:29] More voices.

[29:32] How's my voice?

[29:34] Not very different.

[29:37] I only have three voices.

[29:41] There's voice A, voice B, and voice A-B.

[29:46] But what I give you is variety.

[29:50] You don't.

[29:51] You don't at all.

[29:52] There's only three voices.

[29:54] How many voices can you do?

[29:56] I don't know.

[29:57] Dan, how many voices can you do?

[29:59] Well, you can do Michael Jackson.

[30:00] I do have Michael Caine. Hold on. Hold on.

[30:04] So when I was making Jaws the Revenge, the first thing I said when I saw the script was,

[30:09] this is a great script. And that was without looking at the script.

[30:13] Just literally when I saw the script. That's all I could say.

[30:16] So that's his Michael Caine.

[30:17] I did the same thing when I made Leonard Part VI.

[30:21] Oh my God, such big stars are in the studio tonight.

[30:24] It's a round table of common impressions.

[30:27] Oh, I'm just a generic Irishman of some kind.

[30:32] Chief O'Hara from Batman.

[30:34] That's me. Oh, nothing to see here. Move along.

[30:37] I think along with Jax Roofies, Batman sponsored this episode.

[30:43] Well, I guess what we ultimately, the message of night and day was,

[30:49] there's not a lot to talk about when it comes to the movie Night and Day.

[30:51] There were Uzis. There were a lot of weapons, a lot of sunglasses too.

[30:56] Oh yeah, that's right. This was a movie that was entirely,

[30:58] it was like basically a movie about guns and sunglasses and cars.

[31:02] Gun glasses.

[31:03] And gun glasses.

[31:05] And sun cars.

[31:08] To keep the glare out of your gun's eyes.

[31:11] But everyone's always wearing sunglasses, putting on new pairs of sunglasses.

[31:15] But specifically Tom Cruise.

[31:17] There are moments where he does something crazy like jumps on top of a car

[31:22] and there's a gunfire and a crash and then he disappears for like five minutes

[31:27] and he comes back with new sunglasses on.

[31:30] He's a guy on the run who is constantly, who brought like 13 pairs of sunglasses with him.

[31:35] Well, he had to bring the essentials and when it came to essentials,

[31:38] there are certain things you need.

[31:40] Sunglasses.

[31:41] You know you need a clean pair of underpants.

[31:43] You need a gun.

[31:44] You need a few different passports with all of your aliases.

[31:48] Yeah.

[31:49] And you need like 13 to 14 pairs of sunglasses.

[31:51] And a tiny figurine of a knight that you can hide a super battery in.

[31:54] And a bikini you can change someone into.

[31:57] Yeah, that means he had a bikini on hand.

[31:59] Unless we just didn't see the scene where he was shopping for it.

[32:02] That would be great.

[32:03] If she was drugged throughout like this whole scene where he went,

[32:06] you're like, okay, I got to measure her.

[32:09] He took her into the shop and the shopkeeper was like,

[32:12] I don't know if I feel comfortable with measuring her.

[32:14] He's in the fitting room just kind of trying to pull the bikinis on her.

[32:17] This doesn't fit.

[32:19] He puts her in a wheelchair and he's like, yeah, she's in a weird like,

[32:23] her brain is active.

[32:25] But it's a weird like.

[32:27] She still likes to look pretty though.

[32:29] So, you know, if you can help her out.

[32:31] Oh, my wife.

[32:33] My wife.

[32:34] Oh, my poor brain dead wife.

[32:36] Who loves to be wearing a bikini.

[32:39] Right?

[32:40] Brain dead or no.

[32:42] They love it.

[32:43] If you're brain dead and you're listening to this podcast,

[32:46] please write us.

[32:49] For the I'm brain dead contest.

[32:51] That wasn't a contest.

[32:53] We just sort of get the brain dead people involved.

[32:56] I appreciate that.

[32:57] Yeah.

[32:58] He was hoping that if we stimulated them by asking them to write,

[33:01] then that would be a cure.

[33:02] Here's something the movie fooled me with.

[33:04] Tom Cruise says, we're going to do this and I'm going to get you home in time

[33:08] for your sister's wedding.

[33:10] And I was like, oh, so the movie's going to end when they get back to the

[33:12] sister's wedding.

[33:13] Yeah.

[33:14] Nope.

[33:15] They're back to the wedding.

[33:16] And then there's a whole other act that comes after that.

[33:18] And I felt like there's the story when William Goldman wrote about Big Lebowski

[33:23] where he's like, they keep talking about this bowling competition that's

[33:25] coming up.

[33:26] And he was looking at Big Lebowski as being written like a normal screenplay.

[33:29] So he's like, oh, man, I can't wait until this big bowling competition.

[33:32] Like this is when the movie's going to tie everything together,

[33:34] the bowling competition.

[33:35] And, of course, there is no bowling competition in Big Lebowski.

[33:39] Like it's the least important piece of information in the movie.

[33:42] And William Goldman felt taken.

[33:44] Like, what?

[33:46] I invested a lot in waiting for this bowling competition.

[33:49] So I kind of felt like that about the wedding, which passes by really fast.

[33:52] Yeah.

[33:53] It does.

[33:54] It's not like the end beat of the movie.

[33:56] So you're saying that this is a brilliant comedy.

[33:58] No, I am not saying that.

[34:00] I think that's what you said.

[34:01] No, it didn't mean it.

[34:02] And I'm glad to hear you finally have a positive response.

[34:05] No, and not at all.

[34:08] Not the truth or the thing.

[34:10] The other moment in the film that stood out for me was credit.

[34:18] I forgot it.

[34:20] Really stood out.

[34:23] Highlight of the film.

[34:26] Highlights for kids.

[34:28] Oh, okay, here it is.

[34:33] It's going to come to you any moment now.

[34:35] In the end of the movie, he clears his name.

[34:38] Tom Cruise clears his name because he had been framed.

[34:43] It's never totally clear why the other FBI agent decided to specifically frame him.

[34:50] Well, he knew Peter Sarsgaard, the bad agent.

[34:54] I think he knew Tom Cruise was particularly friendly with Paul Dano, the young scientist who had invented the super battery.

[35:00] The Zephyr device.

[35:01] The Zephyr device.

[35:03] So he chose to frame him because then if Tom Cruise escaped with Paul Dano and the battery, which he would do to keep Paul Dano safe,

[35:11] it would look like he was kidnapping him to sell him to the arms dealer.

[35:14] He also chose to frame him because he was the super agent.

[35:17] Who was the only one who would win the day.

[35:22] And the movie ends, I should mention, by the way, the battery, it turns out, is unstable and is heating up over time.

[35:27] Right.

[35:28] Which means that just as Peter Sarsgaard is escaping with it in a helicopter, it explodes in his hands.

[35:33] It's called timing.

[35:34] Yeah.

[35:35] And Tom Cruise has been carrying this battery around in like a little pouch in his pocket up until that point.

[35:40] For days.

[35:41] In a plastic night.

[35:42] Yeah.

[35:43] But the part that stood out for me is after he wins and he clears his name,

[35:49] something that happened right before that was he got shot and he had to go to the hospital.

[35:54] And when he wakes up, you think he's going to see Cameron Diaz.

[36:00] As her people would pronounce it.

[36:02] But instead he sees Viola Davis.

[36:07] As her people would pronounce it.

[36:09] And she's the black character in any of these movies, which means she's the police chief.

[36:17] Black actors and actresses have risen to such heights of middle authority in movies.

[36:23] Always the middle managers.

[36:24] Well, especially when it comes to law enforcement.

[36:27] Say, hey, young black kids watching this, you too could be police chief one day.

[36:33] You don't get to go out in the field and do exciting stuff like shoot guns.

[36:37] You get to glare disapprovingly.

[36:39] You get to yell at people and threaten to take their badges.

[36:44] That's power.

[36:46] Black power.

[36:47] And if you're lucky, you'll die three days before your retirement.

[36:50] Keep your eyes on the prize.

[36:53] But he wakes up.

[36:56] She's in the hospital and she's like, congratulations, your name has been cleared.

[37:02] And then she says to him, like, well, you know, we got to get you back into the office as soon as you heal up,

[37:10] which seems like, oh, wow, my name's been cleared.

[37:14] I get to go back to work and be an agent again.

[37:17] And then she leaves and then he's sitting there staring at the ceiling and a nurse.

[37:23] For like half a day.

[37:24] Yeah.

[37:25] What else are you going to do in the hospital?

[37:26] Until the sun goes down.

[37:28] Watch whose line is it anyway?

[37:29] That's the day.

[37:30] It's now the night.

[37:31] Oh, Michael Knight.

[37:33] Knight Rider.

[37:34] But a nurse brings him a little shot of something.

[37:38] Just a jigger of medicine.

[37:39] Yeah.

[37:40] He drinks it and he's like, what's going on?

[37:43] And he's about to black out.

[37:45] And the nurse is Cameron Diaz.

[37:48] And she's like, I'm here to save you.

[37:51] I know you don't want to go back to that job that you really like.

[37:56] And you agreed it.

[37:57] That you were probably trying to clear your name so you could go back to.

[38:01] I'm going to kidnap you and you're going to live with me.

[38:04] Sexy misery style.

[38:07] This is another voice you can do.

[38:09] You can do Cameron Diaz.

[38:10] That's a great Cameron Diaz impression.

[38:13] For the next Shrek film.

[38:14] They can just kill Wyatt and stay.

[38:16] Shrek the Ninth.

[38:18] For Shrek babies.

[38:20] Little Shrekin.

[38:22] Hey, I'm a little ugly troll man.

[38:26] No, not to do the voice of Shrek.

[38:29] I'm all handsome.

[38:31] But then I go back to acting.

[38:33] You can do all the voices, Elliot.

[38:34] That's funny.

[38:35] I think what it is is that Wyatt needs to do a one man show of Shrek.

[38:39] I'm a donkey.

[38:42] And I am Puss in Boots.

[38:45] The characters just state who they are.

[38:48] That's the whole show.

[38:49] And this is Shrek.

[38:53] End scene.

[38:54] Tony Awards.

[38:55] So Cameron Diaz kidnaps him and takes him away from the thing he wanted.

[38:58] Presumably.

[39:01] It's a movie where people make a lot of assumptions.

[39:04] Yes.

[39:05] There's a certain arrogance to their assumptions.

[39:08] Which is the best place to hide a battery?

[39:10] In a statue that is my name.

[39:14] And then, oh, you know what?

[39:16] This guy that I've spent like a week and a half getting to know, he must be crazy about me.

[39:22] Crazier than he was about his high paying job.

[39:26] That he's been doing for 20 years.

[39:28] That allows him to give his pension to his family.

[39:31] Not pension.

[39:32] Just sweepstakes winnings.

[39:34] It's his pension in the form of sweepstakes winnings.

[39:36] Oh, okay.

[39:37] Well, there's also like a weird number of things that happen in this life or death, like gun play, like spy game.

[39:45] A lot of the things that happen are motivated by people's hurt feelings.

[39:48] Yes.

[39:49] There's a scene early on where like Tom Cruise gets really hurt that Cameron Diaz would be at all.

[40:00] Interested in going away from him, you know, like this crazy person who has kidnapped him and then like he's like

[40:06] slamming the trunk on his car and then like

[40:09] Cameron Diaz then feels sad that she's made Tom Cruise

[40:12] She's a crazy person who kidnapped him like feel bad. And so then she goes along with him. I'm like, really?

[40:18] I'm gonna keep going my kidnapper cuz I

[40:21] insulted him and later Cameron Diaz turns Tom Cruise in because she overhears she follows him and sees him at a rendezvous with a

[40:28] Woman and overhears him saying oh that that woman's nothing. She's a nobody and that hurts her feelings

[40:33] Like it's not very good. I think like oh, maybe I'm being protected by him. Yeah

[40:38] No, she goes to prove that she's not a nobody. She's a stooly. She goes. I'll show him. She's a rat him out

[40:45] Yeah, I'm not gonna get stitches for it

[40:48] I will mention also that uh

[40:50] Tom Cruise his name is cleared the same way that they clear tango and cash his name and tango and cash

[40:54] Which is by blowing up the bad guy and the evidence

[40:57] Well, and also there's he has a private island and

[41:01] there's a

[41:02] Plane that is shooting out his private island. Yeah, it's a tiny island and

[41:09] Then he gets in a helicopter and he drugs Cameron Diaz before

[41:15] They fly off the island. So then she blacks out as do we

[41:20] When we wake up

[41:22] We're all in a hotel and what I love about that and why I love this movie is I don't need to see the crazy

[41:29] CGI

[41:31] Fight between a plane that has super guns and a little whirly bird. I don't want to see that

[41:37] I don't want to see how he got off the island. No. No what I want to see is what kind of thread count

[41:45] She you want to see Cameron Diaz taking a bath and setting up the glasses for the champagne

[41:51] She's gonna have a Tom Cruise. Yeah, although actually I think after she blacked out this time she woke up on a train

[41:56] Oh, maybe that was it in which case you get to see her dramatically order breakfast in the dining car

[42:01] Yes, which you might think again

[42:03] Okay, this movie seems to be promoting the roofie lifestyle

[42:08] But waking up on a train that like I'm sure there's a lot of roofie action where you do wake up on a train

[42:14] But it's like a subway train. This is a classy train the Orient Express. It's the one that goes to Hogwarts

[42:33] There's a lot of scenes that get gapped out of Tom Cruise checking into a hotel room with a with a sleeping woman on his

[42:40] shoulder or

[42:42] Bringing her onto a train

[42:43] You just have to assume that they exist in a world where it's commonplace for a man to drag a woman around

[42:48] It's a caveman world

[42:50] everybody date rapes

[42:52] This should be it should be a crawl meeting says it is the year

[42:57] 2125 date rape has been legalized and now your film night and day

[43:01] Oh

[43:07] Mr. Miller

[43:10] Slipped her roofie as we all do in the future where it's legal and accepted. It doesn't look like your wife. Mr. Miller

[43:17] It's not thanks to Jack's roofies

[43:22] Okay, should we give our final yeah, no, we've let this run a little long

[43:25] Which is good, but which gives everyone time to finish the contest. Yeah, we should wrap this up

[43:31] And we wrap it up with final judgments

[43:34] Where we say where this is a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie that we actually kind of liked and Elliot

[43:40] I'm gonna let you start off

[43:42] I'm good those three what I'm gonna surprise the listening public by saying this was a movie

[43:47] I actually kind of liked a little bit. Yeah, it's pretty stupid and not particularly good

[43:52] but it like some of the action scenes are kind of fun and there are a few jokes that are okay and

[43:58] Overall, it's just kind of a light dumb

[44:00] Adventure movie. Yeah, as opposed to what we usually watch which is torture. So no, I'm gonna agree with you

[44:06] I'm gonna say I kind of liked it. I I think if I think maybe

[44:10] If Cameron Diaz wasn't in the role, it might have been a little bit better

[44:14] I don't know

[44:15] I think it has it was it had the potential to be a very good movie if it had been

[44:19] Cast differently and kind of written and shot a little differently

[44:22] But they cut the concept 20 minutes were cut and it went through another screenplay pass

[44:27] Yeah, surprisingly the concept of an ordinary person caught up in spy hijinks is not a bad concept for a movie spy

[44:34] Jinx spy jinx if you will

[44:39] I

[44:42] Would say that this movie was Murph Goldman's Citizen Kane

[44:52] Mangled

[44:57] Whoever he is is very happy

[45:01] And I'm sure he'll cast you in his next film if Murph Goldman's listening

[45:06] Maybe Murph Goldman, please write in you will win one of our big contests. Yeah

[45:13] I

[45:31] Plan to make you guys watch it again. No right now. No

[45:36] It's still on the TV. And if you want to come watch it with us, come on down right now

[45:42] Join us in the screen of Tron 8000 where we screen all these movies

[45:49] It's all been catered by Jax roofies

[45:57] The only vodka that robots drink because robots can't get roof

[46:03] Oh

[46:09] You guys receive a bottle of spedka vodka we then or some sort of sponsorship or roofies

[46:17] Roofies we won't know it you receive a sponsorship by either Jax roofies or spedka vodka. I

[46:25] Expect a to be invited back thanked on air. Yeah

[46:33] Yeah, you never know new contest if you work for spedka vodka

[46:40] Vodka and perhaps you work in marketing and are looking for something to

[46:45] Brand your vodka or you the other way around, you know, what the hell I'm talking

[46:50] If you if you know that if you're personal friends with that robot that has a woman's face and a weirdly human butt

[46:56] in the commercials

[46:59] Robot yeah, it's weird. I will say one thing I did like about a thing for robots night and day was actually a lot of

[47:06] Tom Cruise's performance

[47:08] Because he seemed like he was playing a kind of cartoony version of Tom Cruise. Yeah, so that which was nice

[47:13] He was not playing a it wasn't like Tropic Thunder where everyone was like, oh Tom Cruise is amazing

[47:18] And it was like this is not a good performance. This is a really

[47:22] Joke version of his persona and that's kind of fun

[47:24] I thought he was kind of like the Tom Cruise in Magnolia because he was yeah positive about everything

[47:29] I mean the tongue was Magnolia was a horrible person

[47:33] Yeah, so the guy who has a body count of over 58 people in one movie. That's right. I counted

[47:39] How's he sleep at night with all those bodies? There are ghosts that are rupees himself

[47:46] Yeah, that's the only way you can and then he takes a sip and then he goes down I go

[47:51] Falls asleep, that would be great in a spy movie if you see the spy like

[47:56] You see a lot of death in this line of work

[47:59] That's why I drink that doesn't look like whiskey. It's roofies

[48:06] I'm gonna get any sleep tonight. It's by roofing myself. So don't touch my butt

[48:12] Touch anything you want just stay away from the exit door

[48:17] Gift shop if you know what I mean stay away from a Banksy

[48:22] Okay, so very quickly. What are we doing now our final segment?

[48:27] just

[48:28] If there's a movie that we've seen recently that we would recommend

[48:33] Although we all kind of liked this first one

[48:35] I think it's a good one. I think it's a good one. I think it's a good one

[48:38] That we would recommend

[48:40] Although we all kind of liked this film, but I don't think we would say like run out and watch it recommend it

[48:45] But I like on TV. Maybe if you're sick and it's on TV and whose line is anyway is a rerun

[48:50] Then I would say night and day is a fine way to spend an hour and 50 minutes while you're prying that

[48:56] That act that army man from your year

[49:00] Night and day

[49:03] But no if there's a movie that we saw recently that we really actually wanted to recommend straight up

[49:08] This is the time for recommendations Elliot. Do you have one? I do. I'll try to keep it quick. This is a movie I saw

[49:15] Actually just finished watching yesterday. It's a Japanese movie from 1959 called Tokaido yet

[49:21] Suya Kaidan or the at Suya ghost or the ghost of yet Suya or something like that and it's

[49:27] A really good ghost revenge movie. I didn't know while I was watching it, but it's apparently an

[49:33] Adaptation of the most famous ghost revenge story in Japanese drama. There've been about 30 different movies of it

[49:38] This is the one from 1959 though

[49:40] And there's a lot of good like it's in color and it's this really nice like vivid color

[49:46] There's a lot of good like spooky moments in it. The ghost is very ghosty, but there's a lot of blood for a movie from

[49:53] 1959 and

[49:54] It's just a good samurai ghost movie, you know

[49:57] So if you're looking for one of those

[50:00] If you're looking for a Samurai Ghost movie, and I don't know why you wouldn't be, then

[50:04] the 1959 version of Tokaido Yotsuya Kaidan is one I recommend.

[50:10] I haven't seen a lot recently, but I watched the movie The Last Exorcism, which I enjoyed

[50:16] a fair amount.

[50:18] It kind of falls apart a little bit at the end, but there have been like a spate of sort

[50:23] of fake documentary horror movies, but a lot of them lean on the whole found footage thing,

[50:32] which works well I feel at the beginning of the movie, it doesn't make that much sense

[50:36] as the movie continues.

[50:37] That's what I felt when I was watching the Bear Wench Project.

[50:42] This movie is more of a traditional documentary style, it's not being sold as a found footage,

[50:49] it's like this guy who is an exorcist who has lost his faith and wants to expose exorcism

[50:57] as a scam, and these are like sick children who need help, and so he really wants these

[51:03] people to come along and be filming him, but then he encounters obviously something that

[51:09] cannot be explained in his cynical world view, some sort of actual demon possession.

[51:16] It was pretty good for most of it.

[51:18] I liked it.

[51:19] Teen Witch.

[51:20] Teen Witch.

[51:21] Teen Witch.

[51:22] It's a teenage sandwich.

[51:23] It's a sandwich made of teenagers, it's like Human Centipede, but for teenagers.

[51:34] Disney made it, Demi Lovato's in it.

[51:37] A German scientist going, I'm going to make you into a Teen Witch.

[51:42] And he's just having them lie down between pieces of bread.

[51:47] Zac Efron, you are going to be the meat of my Teen Witch.

[51:52] Oh no.

[51:53] And Raven Simone, you're the pickle.

[51:59] So Teen Witch.

[52:00] Teen Witch.

[52:01] Other than that, you were talking about found footage, a movie that I like that's kind of

[52:09] a found footage movie, but it's not a horror movie, and I'm biased because they are co-workers,

[52:17] but it's also a very good movie.

[52:18] It's Cooper's Camera that Jason Jones co-wrote, and Jason and Samantha Bee star in it, and

[52:27] it's kind of like a found footage National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

[52:33] And I really liked it.

[52:37] It takes place in the near distant past.

[52:46] Like what, medieval times, 18th century?

[52:51] Let's go to the 80s, but for Christmas, a family gets a video camera, and then we kind

[52:59] of follow the story through the eyes of the video camera that's being used by the kid

[53:07] in the family.

[53:09] And I thought it was very well done.

[53:11] It was a lot of fun.

[53:14] Dave Foley, news radios, Dave Foley, Kids in the Hall, Celebrity Poker, yes.

[53:22] He's in it, and very funny.

[53:23] Like I said, Jason, Sam, both great.

[53:27] Sam was pregnant at the time, so technically their baby, Fletcher, was also in this movie,

[53:33] although he's uncredited.

[53:34] Probably breaking a lot of child labor laws.

[53:37] Definitely.

[53:38] Definitely a lot of child labor laws being broken.

[53:41] Yeah, Mike Beaver is who co-wrote it with Jason.

[53:44] I haven't seen that one.

[53:45] I saw another movie that Jason and Mike Beaver made called Ham and Cheese that I like, where

[53:50] they're two struggling actors.

[53:52] It's about a teen witch.

[53:56] There's a scene in it where Jason's character has one line in a cop TV show where he's supposed

[54:02] to pick up a phone and say, it's for you, and hand it to the lead detective, and he

[54:05] so irritates the other people on set that they rewrite it so it's just the lead detective

[54:09] picking up the phone herself.

[54:10] I'll have to check that one out.

[54:11] Yeah, check it out.

[54:12] Cooper's Camera it's called?

[54:13] Cooper's Camera.

[54:14] But it's also known as Cooper's Christmas in America.

[54:15] I think in Canada, because they don't celebrate Christmas, they call it Cooper's Camera.

[54:16] Cooper's Boxing Day.

[54:17] Observed.

[54:18] But check it out.

[54:19] But if you're more interested in art house type movies, Teen Witch!

[54:33] You're saying it as if it's a horror movie.

[54:38] No.

[54:39] Teen Witch is not a horror movie.

[54:40] Teen Witch!

[54:41] Teen Witch!

[54:42] Now you're saying it as if it's a Metallica song.

[54:43] Yeah.

[54:44] Well, this is the Teen Witch.

[54:45] Well, this is the demo tape portion of his audition.

[54:54] Perhaps if you're Death Metal Band and you're looking for an opening act, I'd do a Bobby

[54:59] McFerrin-like Death Metal show.

[55:02] It's called Don't Worry, Be Scary.

[55:10] It seems like worry.

[55:15] Scary, be happy, doesn't make any sense.

[55:18] No, but worry, worry, be happy, don't.

[55:23] So, if you're interested in the acapella metal genre.

[55:28] Metal-pella.

[55:29] Yeah.

[55:30] All right, guys.

[55:31] Well, thank you.

[55:32] Thank you so much for coming and being a guest tonight.

[55:34] You're welcome.

[55:35] Okay.

[55:36] It was my pleasure.

[55:37] You're welcome, Elliot.

[55:38] Thank you.

[55:39] And, Wyatt, thank you, sir, for coming.

[55:41] No, thank you.

[55:42] Let's start watching night and day.

[55:43] No.

[55:45] Let's sign off and do that.

[55:46] I've been Dan McCoy.

[55:47] I am Elliot Kalen Still.

[55:50] And you don't know who I am.

[55:52] Yes.

[55:53] Win the contest.

[55:54] Win the contest.

[55:56] You get a free Zagnut bar.

[55:57] Good night, everyone.

[55:59] Da-da-da-da-da.

[56:05] Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

[56:06] Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

[56:16] Don't know why you turned into a cat halfway through this.

[56:18] I don't know the rest of the words.

[56:19] Look.

[56:20] That's like, Stewart and I always do.

[56:21] It's like, for some reason, they're always trying to get me out.

[56:27] Yeah, it's easier.

[56:29] Cats are the world's best singers.

[56:31] And best songwriters.

The Flop House: Episode #79 - Knight and Day

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