Exit to Eden

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Exit to Eden.

[0:03] In honor of the Max Fun Drive, I torture my friends with a movie I haven't seen before.

[0:08] Son of a bitch.

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse.

[0:35] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:36] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:38] And I'm sound Elliot Kalin.

[0:42] And we're all in the same room.

[0:43] We're all in the same room.

[0:44] But shut up, shut up.

[0:45] We can't talk about that right now.

[0:46] It's Max Fun Drive time.

[0:48] Right at the top of the show.

[0:49] I want to say something.

[0:50] Thank you.

[0:52] Thank you for listening.

[0:54] Shut up, idiot.

[0:55] Let me start.

[0:56] Thank you.

[0:57] From the bottom of our hearts.

[0:58] From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

[1:00] Max Fun Drive starts this Monday, April 20th, 420.

[1:03] Woo! Charlene's birthday. Woo!

[1:05] Don't get distracted, Dan. Max Fun Drive.

[1:07] It's the time of year when we celebrate you, the listeners,

[1:10] and we also remind you that this show exists because good folk like you

[1:14] tip us for the laughs and insights and heartwarming goo we provide

[1:18] by pledging $5 a month or more.

[1:20] So head to MaximumFun.org slash join to learn more and support the Flophouse.

[1:25] I'll be back with more on that later.

[1:28] But now we can do the niceties.

[1:31] Elliot's here in my apartment.

[1:33] I'm in person in Dan's apartment.

[1:35] It's never looked nicer.

[1:36] Oh, thank you.

[1:38] That's a compliment that is very backhanded.

[1:40] It implies that your apartment used to look like shit.

[1:42] But now it looks pretty good.

[1:44] We're also...

[1:45] It's always been a nice apartment.

[1:47] To get the video that we use for our social media stuff,

[1:51] usually, you know, we're on Zoom

[1:53] because we're recording to Elliot in LA.

[1:55] And now we just have to record ourselves.

[1:58] And so we're looking at a mirror image of ourselves right now, all three in a row, which is very disconcerting.

[2:03] That's one of the great things is that in the modern world of podcasting, it's relatively inexpensive and easy to get very professional-looking video.

[2:13] And we staunchly oppose that.

[2:16] Still won't do it.

[2:17] No, thank you.

[2:18] What is nice, though, is that the image is reversed.

[2:20] So when I look at it, I see Stuart's face instead of my own.

[2:23] Or I have to stare right down the barrel of myself because I'm in the middle.

[2:27] What I keep thinking when I look at it is, one of these ghouls will go home with you at the end of the ride.

[2:32] Guys, I do therapy via Zoom.

[2:35] What does this have to do with overturning?

[2:38] I have to minimize the window that's me because I don't want to look at myself.

[2:42] Oh, my therapist makes me minimize the image of me.

[2:45] He hides self-view.

[2:47] My therapist makes me maximize the image of me for maximum shame.

[2:51] You've got to see your pores.

[2:52] Exactly, yeah.

[2:53] Anyway, we're doing our show.

[2:56] It's called The Flophouse.

[2:57] Oh, what do we do on this show?

[2:59] Well, it's a podcast where we watch movies

[3:01] that were critical or commercial flops.

[3:04] But today you said we're talking about Exit to Eden.

[3:06] Best picture winning Boppo box office.

[3:09] Winner of 1990-fo.

[3:12] It's a movie that I have mentioned to two people

[3:15] that we were going to do

[3:18] and both of them had a blank look on their face.

[3:20] Everyone I've talked to about this movie has said,

[3:22] what is that?

[3:22] which I think is so funny because it is a movie that when it came out,

[3:26] even as a child, I was like, why did they make this movie?

[3:28] When I saw the commercials, it made a huge impression on me.

[3:30] It loomed large in bad movie-dom.

[3:32] It introduced me to what I would call 90s erotic soundtrack music,

[3:35] which is when there's drums that are like,

[3:38] and then you hear a flute that goes,

[3:42] Is that the, my wife and I were watching,

[3:47] my wife and I were watching this movie and when, yeah, I think.

[3:51] Did it get you guys going?

[3:52] Yeah, totally.

[3:53] And I think that specific music is from an artist named Enigma.

[3:58] Oh, yeah, sure.

[3:58] And Charlene's like, this music was so popular in strip clubs.

[4:03] They play Return to Innocence in it, and I know it from the commercials for the Pure Mood CD.

[4:07] Is that the one that goes, hmm?

[4:08] Sadness.

[4:08] Yeah, it's the one that goes, do-do-hoo.

[4:10] It goes, hey, hey, return to innocence.

[4:16] Yeah.

[4:17] So that was a hit song if you were listening to the Pure Mood CD, yeah.

[4:22] Well, let's talk a little bit about...

[4:25] Which also included tubular bells from The Exorcist.

[4:27] I think before we get into Exit to Eden,

[4:29] I don't want to step on your turf, Stuart,

[4:33] because I know that this is a movie that you chose

[4:36] to inflict upon us for Max Von Drive.

[4:38] I suppose we should reiterate this.

[4:40] We have been picking movies,

[4:41] or this is going to be the first one,

[4:43] we have picked movies to torture one another with.

[4:46] This was Stuart's pick, which he had not seen.

[4:48] I had not seen.

[4:49] but uh this movie has an interesting backstory too that maybe we should set up beforehand i

[4:56] don't know like yeah well it um my backstory for picking it which i think is an important

[5:01] uh point is that i hadn't seen it and when i was a kid i was like this looks fascinating

[5:07] but it also was definitely too adult for uh what 14 year old stewart who was i was strictly in the

[5:13] pg territory everybody you're saying 14 pg 13 would be okay not for this guy uh and but then

[5:21] like i heard immediately i heard that it was bad and i'm like but i like rosie o'donnell and dan

[5:26] ackroyd well that's the thing i was so i'm two years older so i was 16 when this came out and

[5:31] i saw it in the theater now you might say this is our rated movie i sure felt bad that i saw it on

[5:37] hbo but you shouldn't have gone to see it in the theater you were a year too young back in those

[5:42] days, no one cared. Did you go by

[5:44] yourself just in a trench coat with a

[5:46] paper bag full of smut with you or

[5:48] did your parents take you? So, you know, my

[5:50] parents were like, we don't want to have to have the

[5:52] talk with you. Oh, good. This movie is coming

[5:54] out. This will teach you everything you need to know.

[5:56] We're going to drop you off at the theater. Then we're going

[5:58] to pick you up. We will not look at each other's

[6:00] eyes when we pick you up and we will never talk

[6:02] about it again. And you'll be a man.

[6:04] Dan's apparently reported fetishes.

[6:06] This movie actually touches on some of them.

[6:08] Dan's fetishes of

[6:10] incredibly vanilla light taps

[6:12] He's been reporting me, reporting my fetishes.

[6:15] He's anonymous, but somebody is him.

[6:18] If my parents are listening, this will be the first thing they're hearing of me having seen Exit Eden.

[6:23] I believe I saw this, you know, my childhood pal, still pal, Rusty Householder.

[6:30] Sure, sure, yeah.

[6:31] You've met him.

[6:32] If he's listening, maybe he can confirm or deny this, but I believe that we saw this together.

[6:37] We went out and we were so—

[6:38] Oh, wow.

[6:38] As what, like a pact?

[6:40] Like one of these, we're going to do the worst thing we can next?

[6:42] I don't know what his reason was.

[6:45] I think that my reason, in addition to liking Dan Aykroyd, was I had a crush on Dana Delaney.

[6:52] Sure, who wouldn't?

[6:53] I also have to point out that this was back in 1994, and entertainment options were far more limited back then, Elliot.

[6:58] That's true.

[6:59] You could pick up your phone and just watch any movie.

[7:01] Especially in the middle of Illinois, amongst the cornfields.

[7:06] I'm kind of amazed that Exit Eden came to the local theater in Eureka, Illinois.

[7:10] Amazing.

[7:11] Oh, there's no theater.

[7:12] Oh, no.

[7:12] At least not by the time I was around.

[7:14] So where did you see this?

[7:15] Like in someone's garage?

[7:16] I would have gone to Washington to see this or perhaps Peoria, the two more metropolitan areas.

[7:21] So I don't know if we've ever talked about this on the show.

[7:23] We may have.

[7:24] I find it hilarious that Dan's idea growing up of like a big city is Peoria, the city that is Hollywood slang for the sticks.

[7:32] Backwater.

[7:33] The backwater.

[7:34] Richard Pryor was brought up there, though, so.

[7:36] But he didn't stay there.

[7:37] No, he wasn't.

[7:38] And I'm assuming that.

[7:39] So you're like a modern day Richard Pryor in that way?

[7:42] I didn't say it, you did.

[7:44] And that metropolitan multiplex, I'm sure,

[7:47] was populated almost exclusively with people

[7:49] that dressed like the neighbor couple

[7:52] in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

[7:55] Yeah, for sure.

[7:57] The comedically yuppie couple.

[7:59] Well, I'm glad we got into our.

[8:00] Who are cool.

[8:01] No, no, they're the heroes of that movie,

[8:03] as far as I'm concerned.

[8:04] There are no heroes in that movie.

[8:05] We've gotten into our personal history,

[8:07] but I was more thinking of the fact...

[8:08] The behind-the-scenes history.

[8:09] This was based on an erotic novel by Anne Rice under...

[8:14] What was her...

[8:14] Anne Rampling.

[8:15] Anne Rampling was what she wrote it under.

[8:17] Because she was collaborating with Charlotte Rampling on it, yeah.

[8:20] Yeah, and because, you know,

[8:21] her works are ramping up your boners.

[8:24] Ramp that thing up.

[8:27] That's what they say at strip clubs

[8:28] when dancers are about to come out.

[8:29] Gentlemen, ramp up your boners.

[8:31] Ramp up your boners.

[8:32] Here's Jade.

[8:34] The movie Jade.

[8:36] We're going to show it to you.

[8:38] Set up the screen.

[8:39] Maybe don't wrap up your boners yet.

[8:41] The next answer isn't here yet, so we're just going to watch some of...

[8:43] HDMI 1.

[8:44] HDMI 1.

[8:45] Guys, guys, come on.

[8:46] Input.

[8:47] Press the input button.

[8:48] You know what?

[8:49] Don't wrap your boners yet.

[8:50] I don't want you to waste any.

[8:51] Turn motion smoothing on.

[8:53] But the Anne Rice novel...

[8:55] The smoother the better.

[8:56] The Anne Rice novel is...

[8:57] Here at Smoothers, the strip club that just shows you movies with the motion smoothing on.

[9:02] So nasty.

[9:03] And that smooths down your boner.

[9:05] Yeah, yeah, we want it to look like kind of in-store security camera video.

[9:11] Yeah.

[9:12] Yeah.

[9:12] There should be no weight or heft to any objects in the movie.

[9:18] It should just be super smooth, super fast.

[9:20] Yeah, yeah.

[9:20] Now ramp up your boners.

[9:22] I have not read this novel, but it's my understanding that it's a straightforward BDSM erotic book.

[9:29] My understanding from reading the Wikipedia entry is that it is about a mistress on a sex island who falls in love with a guy there.

[9:38] And she has to choose between her profession of being a mistress or giving herself up to this guy.

[9:44] And that none of the story of jewel thieves being chased by undercover cops, which is so prominent in the film, none of that is in the novel.

[9:51] Arguably the narrative thrust.

[9:53] The sexiest director in Hollywood.

[9:55] One intended.

[9:55] The sexiest director in Hollywood.

[9:57] Gary Marshall got his hands on this, and I believe he added all of the crime stuff, the

[10:03] goofy crime stuff.

[10:04] To be fair to Gary Marshall, who at this point, you know, is probably best known for his holiday

[10:08] movies, and perhaps has been the creator of Happy Days, which is not a holiday, happy

[10:12] day, but it is a-

[10:13] It's a day still, yeah.

[10:14] It's a day.

[10:15] Yeah.

[10:15] Now, he had, I think this was just right after Pretty Woman.

[10:19] Yes.

[10:19] Which is pretty sexy material for him.

[10:22] It's about a call girl, and so I feel like he was like, how do I ramp it up?

[10:27] Maybe this is what I do now is I make sex comics.

[10:29] It is a famously sanitized version of sex work.

[10:34] Even a sanitized version of the original script for the movie, you know.

[10:36] But that was my understanding from what we're reading was that Rosie O'Donnell kind of didn't want to do the movie.

[10:42] And her representation was like, this guy just did Pretty Woman.

[10:46] This movie is going to be a huge hit.

[10:47] You've got to do it.

[10:48] And was she coming off a league of their own or?

[10:51] Probably.

[10:53] Okay.

[10:53] I think that checks out about right.

[10:56] Yeah.

[10:56] But I think Gary Marshall was probably like, you know what?

[11:00] I was too tame in Pretty Woman.

[11:02] Time for me to get a little wild.

[11:04] But then he ended with exiting the tamest movie about BDSM that I can imagine.

[11:10] Yeah, the light spankings and the weird –

[11:12] It's like if Secretary was mostly about actual office work.

[11:15] That's what this feels like.

[11:17] Yeah, the main way that this is a sex movie is there are a lot of just random boobs running around.

[11:23] Yeah.

[11:24] By a lot, I would say that's being a little generous.

[11:28] There are a lot compared to a modern-day non-sexy movie.

[11:33] That's true.

[11:33] Compared to movies from the 80s or 90s, though,

[11:35] it is what's known as SBQ or standard boob quotient.

[11:39] Dana Delaney, our romantic lead, is naked a few times.

[11:43] He gets a few sex scenes.

[11:44] And then there's just a lot of people in the background on Sex Island

[11:48] like wandering around with—

[11:50] That's the Mr. Skin Report with Dana Delaney.

[11:53] I'm just defending my assertion.

[11:56] Your assertion, yeah.

[11:57] Yeah, anyway.

[11:57] Okay, like all sexy movies,

[11:59] this one begins in Melbourne, Australia.

[12:03] With a child and a maid, yeah.

[12:05] With a child and a, I'm going to say,

[12:08] slightly provocatively dressed maid.

[12:10] I would say she's wearing a very low-cut outfit.

[12:14] Yeah.

[12:14] Sure.

[12:14] She, you know, he gets in trouble

[12:18] and she gives him a spanking,

[12:19] which initially you think is a punishment,

[12:22] but you see on his face, he likes it.

[12:24] And you can also, like, this is what tells you

[12:26] it's a movie of the time,

[12:27] because it needs to explain the idea

[12:30] that someone might enjoy being spanked in an erotic way.

[12:35] Like, there's like, oh, the audience has to be set up for this.

[12:38] They can't, it just can't be like a thing that he likes.

[12:40] We have to have a reason.

[12:41] There must be an origin story.

[12:42] There's got to be the moment

[12:43] when he's bitten by a radioactive spank.

[12:45] I mean, I think movie, like most movies nowadays

[12:48] would also do the same thing.

[12:49] I'm not sure about that.

[12:50] They've got to give everyone an arc for their butt.

[12:52] I mean, they have to give them an arc, but I think the movie is so of its time in that, yeah, the idea of any sort of, like, non-missionary sex play is considered so outre and so out of the ordinary and shocking that, like, yeah, they have to provide an origin story for him to enjoy this aspect.

[13:12] So much of the movie is, like, people explaining, like, sex to Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Aykroyd and then being like, what?

[13:19] People do that?

[13:20] And it falls into the category of it is a movie that for its time seems like a liberal progressive movie because the people involved in this stuff are not like every now and then like, yeah, well, maybe it's okay for people to just like whatever they like.

[13:31] But the Dan Aykroyd and Rosie O'Donnell characters are so, yeah, they're so like, oh, oh, what is this?

[13:37] Oh, and by the end of it, Rosie O'Donnell's like, you know what?

[13:40] Maybe sex is okay.

[13:41] Yeah.

[13:41] Dan Aykroyd gets a vibrator for his ex-wife, maybe.

[13:45] He gets a real wife.

[13:47] Donna Dixon.

[13:48] Yeah.

[13:48] Hey, he gets a big-ass, like, Hitachi wand.

[13:50] Like, he's not playing around.

[13:52] Jumping right in the deep end.

[13:53] He's a blaster bean, right, guys?

[13:56] It's like the movie is clearly on the side of people.

[13:59] Is that an Atari game?

[14:00] Yeah, yeah.

[14:01] Hey, I'm blaster bean.

[14:05] Get me to the end of the maze.

[14:06] That was a mini-game in Laser Shoot Larry.

[14:08] Yeah.

[14:08] I feel like that's the video game

[14:14] that a grandma gets for their kid,

[14:16] not realizing what's actually going on.

[14:18] Clearly the movie is on the side of people should be able to do what they like if they're not hurting somebody else.

[14:23] But to get there, they have to express such bizarre shock at what's happening that it comes off as the opposite of that.

[14:33] Like a certain amount of lazy disdain and schtick.

[14:35] Yes.

[14:36] Okay, so let's get into it.

[14:38] So, yep, as we said.

[14:40] So it starts in Melbourne with the origin story.

[14:41] It starts in Melbourne, and then 20 years later, we meet up with what we assume to be that same young boy.

[14:48] It'd be amazing if it was not the same character.

[14:50] He's from Strictly Ballroom, and he confusingly shares a—the actor shares a name with an old co-worker of ours.

[14:57] Yeah, yeah, he does.

[14:58] And he also shares a character name with me.

[15:00] Oh, yeah.

[15:00] So the character's named Elliot.

[15:01] He shares a name with someone we used to work with, and he is now—he's been an Australian legislator for a number of years now.

[15:08] He's a member of the Australian Parliament.

[15:09] Yeah.

[15:10] And as we'll later learn, totally caked up.

[15:13] That's what Danny Delaney likes about him.

[15:17] Dragging a wagon.

[15:18] And his character's name is Elliot.

[15:21] It's Elliot Slater.

[15:22] I will refer to him exclusively as Elliot just to confuse everyone with the fact that we also have a co-host named Elliot.

[15:29] So Elliot here is talking to his therapist played by, as listed in the credits, as usual, Hector Elizondo.

[15:38] That's how you know it's a Gary Marshall movie, because Hector Elizondo is in it.

[15:41] But I love, yeah, the easel says, as usual, Hector Elizondo.

[15:45] As in, like, you know he's coming, everybody.

[15:46] This guy's got to be here.

[15:47] Now, granted, when I saw that, I started pumping my fist in the air.

[15:51] Yeah.

[15:51] I will say, Hector Elizondo is the one character in it who I feel has genuine erotic intensity when he talks.

[15:58] Yeah.

[15:59] Not in a way that I like, necessarily.

[16:00] Yes.

[16:01] But especially compared to, like, Dana Delaney, who I think is great.

[16:05] Her performance in this never gets across the idea that she is in touch with her erotic passions.

[16:09] She feels sort of like, you know, like a mom.

[16:11] Yeah.

[16:12] A suburban mom who's, you know, read an Anne Rice book, maybe.

[16:16] So, again, we meet up with Elliot Slater.

[16:21] He's talking to his therapist, who has a specialization in sex and kink, played by Hector Elizondo.

[16:27] And they're talking about how Elliot has had difficulty all his life maintaining a serious relationship.

[16:33] And it's clearly due to some kind of unadmitted kink or passion.

[16:40] An unslakeable thirst.

[16:41] And it's kind of implied that when he tells people about this kink, they reject him.

[16:46] You know, they go, oh, that's outrageous.

[16:48] As we'll learn later on, it is being lightly tapped on the buttocks, which is one of the easiest kinks I feel like to deal with.

[16:56] You can stumble into that pretty easily.

[16:59] You can accidentally fulfill that kink by just being in a crowded store.

[17:03] I mean, you see a butt, you know, first thing you think about, right?

[17:07] Yeah, yeah.

[17:08] Right?

[17:08] Dan, this is one of those times where I feel like you assume that a feeling you have is a universal feeling.

[17:13] Yeah.

[17:13] Like he could just join like a baseball team or something, right?

[17:18] Any sports team, yeah.

[17:19] He's going to get tapped on the butt at some point.

[17:21] And I will point out that this character is supposed to be, you know, his character is from Melbourne and he lives in L.A.

[17:26] Which is ironic because this Elliot on this podcast is from Milburn.

[17:30] That is ironic.

[17:31] That is ironic.

[17:32] So everyone add that to the show notes.

[17:34] That's the trivia section, please.

[17:37] So I was just going to say that his accent I find very interesting because it does sound like somebody with an Australian accent trying desperately not to have one.

[17:48] My guess is that they told him dial it back because people will need to understand what you're saying and we don't trust them, you know.

[17:53] Okay, so we also learn when he's talking to his therapist that he has already submitted an application to go to this resort.

[18:03] Sex Island, yeah.

[18:03] This Sex Island that we'll later learn is called Eden.

[18:06] Oh, right.

[18:06] Where he will participate in this, that will theoretically help him with his, like, therapy.

[18:13] Yes.

[18:14] But first, he has to go on a—he's a photojournalist, and he has to go on an assignment.

[18:19] And the movie picks up with him coming back, arriving at the, what, San Diego airport?

[18:24] I'm not sure.

[18:24] Yeah.

[18:25] I'm sorry.

[18:26] I'm just laughing because I'm remembering the scene already.

[18:28] And I'm not laughing with delight at it.

[18:30] I'm laughing at how dumb things are in this scene.

[18:33] So he comes back from South America.

[18:35] This is where we have a scene where, going through customs, they're specifically saying,

[18:39] U.S. citizens that side, aliens on that side.

[18:43] And I'm like, that's a weird thing to say.

[18:45] I know that's technically correct, but I have not heard that in the wild.

[18:48] Well, it sets you up for the Men in Black sex movie that we don't get.

[18:51] Yes.

[18:51] Where humans are having sex with aliens.

[18:54] Where's that movie, huh?

[18:55] When are we going to cross that taboo?

[18:57] I 100% think it exists, Elliot.

[18:59] At least in comic book form.

[19:01] Yeah, yeah, but that's not a movie.

[19:02] Flesh Gordon.

[19:03] Well, if you flip the pages of that comic book really quickly, Elliot, it does kind of become a movie.

[19:10] That's a good point.

[19:10] Okay, so while he's at the airport...

[19:13] I guess Possession is that movie

[19:15] where a person's having sex with a million...

[19:17] About to be remade, so we're going to...

[19:18] Yeah.

[19:18] Why?

[19:19] That is, like, such a...

[19:22] I mean, it's so tied to, like, personal trauma

[19:25] and, like, a vision.

[19:26] Why would you...

[19:27] There's not, like, anything in that plot, really.

[19:28] Sam Neill's going to star in it again.

[19:29] Sam Neill's still going to be in it.

[19:31] No, I don't...

[19:33] It's out there.

[19:35] You guys can look it up.

[19:35] Because everything's going to get remade at some point.

[19:36] Yeah, okay.

[19:37] Because that IP is so valuable to the audience.

[19:40] out there like oh my god uh so while they made they made they made train dreams which is a based

[19:49] on a dream a train had like they'll make any movie now that's amazing no no you didn't know

[19:54] the trains dreamed before that it was just a dream about being on that one island that thomas the

[19:58] tank engine is on it's called eden i think thomas the stank i guarantee you there's like beat like

[20:05] fetish where thomas the tank engine art out there must be well the fetish is being narrated by the

[20:10] by the Thomas narrator while you do it, yeah.

[20:12] Okay, so while at the airport, Elliot-

[20:16] The magic roundabout.

[20:17] That's for Dan.

[20:19] Elliot inadvertently-

[20:22] Oh, the Elliot in the movie.

[20:23] Yeah.

[20:23] Takes photos of a pair of elusive diamond smugglers.

[20:29] One of whom has never been photographed before.

[20:31] One of them, Omar, has never been photographed.

[20:34] The other one, Nina, played by Iman,

[20:38] has been photographed

[20:39] because she's a huge supermodel.

[20:41] She's married to a famous guy.

[20:43] She is introduced,

[20:45] dressed up in drag.

[20:47] And I'm like,

[20:48] there is,

[20:48] you cannot,

[20:49] no amount of simple,

[20:51] like wigs will disguise.

[20:52] Even the mustache?

[20:53] Even her fake mustache?

[20:54] He also likes,

[20:56] Elliot takes pictures of her

[20:58] while she's like sneezing

[20:59] and she's like,

[20:59] what are you doing?

[21:00] And like,

[21:00] which is weird.

[21:01] It is weird.

[21:02] Yeah, it's weird.

[21:02] And she's like,

[21:03] don't worry,

[21:04] I'm a photographer.

[21:05] But he's taking these pictures

[21:07] just sort of like,

[21:08] He's got his, like, camera down on his hip, just sort of, like, clicking off.

[21:11] He does not look like he's making good photos.

[21:16] But then part of the diamond smuggling is a switch off that involves the baggage claim.

[21:20] And he's, like, leaning into the baggage area, taking pictures.

[21:22] And it's like, what are you doing?

[21:24] Yeah, calm down, dude.

[21:25] I will say this, though, that—

[21:30] Do you love this movie?

[21:30] Yeah, it's great.

[21:31] Anyway, I don't remember what I was going to say.

[21:32] What's going on?

[21:33] I had something and I forgot it.

[21:34] So after this little bit of excitement,

[21:36] we now cut to a strip club.

[21:39] Oh boy, is it exciting.

[21:40] I was on the edge of my seat.

[21:43] The movie's not going to reach this fever pitch again for a while.

[21:46] I had to pause the movie and catch my breath

[21:48] from the intensity of this scene.

[21:50] It's like the end of the first 10 minutes of Fury Road.

[21:52] You're like, oh, I need this break, everybody.

[21:55] Okay, so we now enter the dark lair of a strip club

[22:02] where there's a police sting operation going on

[22:06] where Dan Aykroyd, who plays Fred,

[22:08] and Rosie O'Donnell, who plays Sheila,

[22:11] are a pair of police officers who are undercover

[22:14] and they are busting this diamond smuggling ring

[22:17] that is tied to Nina and Omar.

[22:19] Yep.

[22:20] So we get a little bit of stripping.

[22:21] It's a little sexy.

[22:22] Well, and they're doing this by,

[22:24] Aykroyd is the strip club DJ

[22:27] and O'Donnell is a dancer

[22:32] Who never, you know, like, she's just, like, sort of, like, half-heartedly dancing around, not taking her clothes off because that's not her job.

[22:37] She's, like, undercover cop.

[22:39] Dan felt like he needed to warn anybody who was watching the movie in the hopes that they would see Rosie O'Donnell take her clothes off.

[22:44] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[22:44] But the point is just, like, why do they have to be workers at the club?

[22:48] Why can't they be undercover as visitors to the club?

[22:51] They need them to let down their guard, Dan.

[22:54] And also, I'll give them this.

[22:55] It's a comedy movie.

[22:56] Sure.

[22:56] So you want to put these characters in situations they're not comfortable with.

[22:59] but by police

[23:01] logistics standards, you're right. Those are not

[23:03] the roles you want them to be in. Where is she

[23:05] going to keep her gun when she's supposed to be stripping?

[23:07] I mean, she kind of, she pulls it out from her

[23:09] like feather boa. Oh, that's right.

[23:11] I think if I got any laughs out of it, I would

[23:13] take that explanation, but in the

[23:15] absence of laughs, I had a lot.

[23:17] Yeah, so there's a little bit of

[23:19] you know, there's a little bit of attempted humor

[23:21] in the process.

[23:23] This should be shelved in the attempted comedy

[23:25] section at the video store.

[23:27] There's a

[23:29] In the excitement, Nina, the smuggler, manages to shoot one of the guys that they're after.

[23:37] Some of this stuff is kind of confusing for me, and I've watched it twice.

[23:42] Meanwhile, Elliot, he boards a boat to go to Eden with other people who have paid to volunteer, I guess.

[23:54] And I assume he's paid also.

[23:55] He is paid, as they mentioned that later on his payment is refunded.

[24:00] That's right.

[24:01] But he is with a group of people who have paid to spend a week at Eden.

[24:05] And during that time, they are citizens of Eden, which is their term for submissives.

[24:10] Yes.

[24:10] But they do specify that while you're on Eden, everything is a, you still have to give consent.

[24:17] Still consent, yeah.

[24:17] It still has to be consensual.

[24:18] But they're told this by the Eden middle management who are all dressed like members of ABBA or like lion tangles.

[24:25] They all have like bright white kind of circus costumes.

[24:29] The sexiest outfits you can think of.

[24:31] I must have missed this speech because I remember later on in the movie being like, wow, for a kink island with a kink resort, they are playing fast and loose with consent.

[24:44] But, like, Elliot doesn't want to go up on stage later on to, like, dance around and show his wares and, like, no, you've got to, like, literally, like, pushing him on stage.

[24:53] Even though he's, like, saying no.

[24:54] Oh, no, I mean, they give the speech, and then they also go against those rules.

[24:58] They ignore it entirely.

[24:59] And they just boss.

[24:59] And I wonder, I think it's, they do not set up, here's the thing, they don't set up safe words, or at least we don't see it.

[25:05] Because him saying no could be part of that scenario for him, unless he says his safe word.

[25:11] And this is why everybody always have a safe word.

[25:14] And your safe word shouldn't be no, because then it gets confusing.

[25:17] Establish boundaries.

[25:18] Your safe word should be something like Dimetrodon, that you normally wouldn't say during sex unless you do dinosaur.

[25:23] Someone out there.

[25:24] Dinosaur-like, I'm sorry, Dimetrodons are not dinosaurs.

[25:27] I apologize.

[25:28] Everybody, you know what?

[25:29] I tender my resignation.

[25:30] I can no longer really act as a Flophouse host after what I've done.

[25:34] Oh, wow.

[25:35] I've mislabeled a Dimetrodon as a dinosaur.

[25:37] And you know what?

[25:38] Due to public outcry, I will stay.

[25:40] I will receive my resignation.

[25:42] Oh, that was a quick, wow, yeah.

[25:43] That's a real rollercoaster.

[25:44] Oh, boy, our long national nightmare is over.

[25:45] But anyway, safe word.

[25:46] I was going to encourage, you know, someone out there,

[25:49] make Flophouse your safe word, just for fun.

[25:51] It would tickle me.

[25:53] Dan, I don't know if this is such a good idea.

[25:54] Tickle me.

[25:55] This sounds like the best possible moment for Dan

[26:00] to give some more information on the next one.

[26:02] Oh, thanks, Stuart.

[26:04] Yeah, sure.

[26:06] What a little prankster.

[26:08] Before we get back to the sexy Dan Aykroyd in handcuffs antics,

[26:12] let me tell you a little bit more about how the MaxFunDrive works

[26:15] and why listener support is important.

[26:17] How does it work?

[26:18] Let's start there.

[26:19] Go to MaximumFun.org.

[26:21] Pick the great shows you listen to, including, we hope, The Flophouse,

[26:24] and your pledge goes directly to the shows that you personally listen to

[26:28] and have chosen to support with a little going to the network,

[26:32] which is a worker-owned collective, so you can feel very good about that,

[26:35] for overhead, and all the help they give us.

[26:38] And why is it important?

[26:40] I told you the how, why.

[26:41] This money helps us pay our operating costs.

[26:44] It helps us pay our producer, Alex,

[26:47] who we're happy to give a raise to soon

[26:50] for some extra work we're going to be throwing at him.

[26:53] The first he's heard of this.

[26:54] I don't know if we need to promise this on the air, Dan.

[26:57] I've talked to him.

[26:58] It helps us pay ourselves

[27:01] as the traditional entertainment industry

[27:03] falls to pieces around us.

[27:04] So if you're a first-time member,

[27:07] you can join at just $5 a month

[27:09] and get access to the full library of MaxFun.

[27:11] Wait, $5?

[27:12] That seems ludicrously cheap

[27:14] for all the entertainment you're getting.

[27:16] I know.

[27:17] Have we gone insane?

[27:18] And yet people will be confused by it even so.

[27:21] At $5 a month,

[27:23] you get access to the full library of MaxFun bonus content

[27:26] hundreds and hundreds of hours

[27:27] across all the shows on the network.

[27:29] And this is a good time to say,

[27:31] what is the Flophouse going to do

[27:33] for bonus content this year?

[27:34] Yeah.

[27:34] I'm glad I asked, me.

[27:37] This year, it's all about the Transformers.

[27:40] Now, no matter what, no matter what,

[27:43] we are committed to watching and discussing

[27:44] the original animated Transformers.

[27:47] Transformers the movie.

[27:48] Transformers the movie from 86.

[27:50] Michael Bay's Transformers from 2007.

[27:53] That's where a Transformer pees on John Turturro, right?

[27:55] I don't know if it's in that one, but it's in one of them.

[27:58] I mean, that's the promise that any Transformers movies makes.

[28:01] And also the recent computer animated Transformers 1 from 2024.

[28:06] Those three we're going to do no matter what.

[28:09] However, however, listen to this.

[28:11] If the Flophouse makes it to 1,600 new or upgrading members,

[28:16] we will record two more episodes

[28:19] covering Transformers Revenge of the Fallen

[28:21] and Transformers Dark of the Moon.

[28:23] And if we make it all the way to 2,000 new or upgrading members,

[28:27] that will unlock the gold mine of four additional episodes,

[28:32] Age of Extinction, which will be a rare Flophouse revisit,

[28:36] The Last Knight, Bumblebee, and Rise of the Beast.

[28:39] Yeah, Cogman, Cogman.

[28:41] You can have it all, at least if by all you mean Transformers movies.

[28:47] But that's just this year's bonus content.

[28:49] If you're a member at that level, you have access to all the old bonus content.

[28:54] Like last year when we did six role-playing episodes where Game Master Stu led me, Elliot, and Jubin in a pair of three-episode Slock Tales arcs.

[29:06] where we played hapless restaurant workers.

[29:09] Sorry, I'm starting to stumble over my own copy.

[29:11] I will say, those Slop Tales episodes

[29:13] are my favorite bonus content we've ever done.

[29:15] I think Stuart did a great job.

[29:16] He came with a great scenario and characters,

[29:18] and we had so much fun doing it.

[29:19] You know, he led us through a wonderful adventure.

[29:21] I'm only as good as the collaborators I work with.

[29:24] No, they're very fun and also fully produced by Alex

[29:27] with music and sound effects and stuff.

[29:30] Also, last year, we released Fly Scraper,

[29:33] which was a fully produced theater-of-the-mind

[29:36] to audio comedy from script by me.

[29:37] That was also my favorite bonus content.

[29:40] It had notable friends of the pod

[29:42] like John Hodgman, Griffin Newman,

[29:43] Barbara Crampton, Josh Gondelman,

[29:45] Natalie Walker, Griffin McElroy,

[29:46] and more on that.

[29:48] And tons more bonus content

[29:50] from us going back years.

[29:51] All accessible at that $5 a month level.

[29:53] And I briefly, briefly want to mention

[29:55] that at the $10 a month level,

[29:57] you get, of course,

[29:58] a lovely good-bad keychain.

[30:00] But also, for the first time ever,

[30:02] listeners at the $10 or more level

[30:05] will get access to an ad-free feed.

[30:08] That's right.

[30:09] Entertainment without commercials,

[30:11] the dream of every consumer.

[30:13] We will still have Jumbotrons

[30:15] because those are MaxFun community announcements

[30:17] and our own personal plugs.

[30:18] So you'll still hear about Barbarian Behind Bars.

[30:22] On store shelves now.

[30:23] My wife's gym.

[30:24] Jiggle Studio.

[30:26] But that's the stuff that I think

[30:28] that listeners will still want to hear.

[30:30] There'll not be any more corporate sponsors

[30:33] at the $10 ad-free member feed.

[30:36] So that's a new thing that we're offering

[30:39] that I'm very excited about.

[30:41] And there are higher levels, of course,

[30:42] with other thank yous,

[30:43] but I'll just say for now,

[30:44] please join us as a member at $5 a month or more.

[30:47] Head to MaximumFun.org slash join,

[30:49] where you can join monthly at $5 a month or more

[30:52] or opt to pay upfront for a whole year of support.

[30:55] And then when your year's up,

[30:56] it'll revert to monthly

[30:57] unless you choose to pay upfront for another year.

[31:00] That is MaximumFun.org slash join.

[31:03] Now, back to Exit to Eden.

[31:05] Force us to watch Transformers movies.

[31:08] So while, so on board the boat to Eden,

[31:12] we see the other people who have signed up.

[31:15] They're all generally kind of youngish people,

[31:16] but we do have, we do get a good joke

[31:19] about an old man who boarded the wrong ship

[31:21] thinking he was going to a golf fantasy island

[31:23] where he was going to play with Lee Trevino.

[31:25] As everyone else is undressing.

[31:26] I will say this is when we introduced

[31:28] my favorite character in the movie, Reba,

[31:30] The multiple-time Eden attendee who cannot stop talking to people even when important announcements are being given.

[31:36] It's really funny, though, that every time she just, like, it's not like she's being really disruptive, but she's just talking a little bit, and one guy's like, shut up, Reba.

[31:44] And I'm like, you know, Reba's a single mom who works too hard, and she loves her kids, and she'll never stop.

[31:49] Oh, yeah, it's that Reba, huh?

[31:50] Giving hands and heart of a fighter.

[31:52] Loves Reba.

[31:53] She's a survivor.

[31:53] Okay, so, can you guys, and they arrive at the island.

[31:59] Can you describe the island at all for our listeners?

[32:03] Do you want me to?

[32:04] I mean, it's like a tropical island.

[32:05] Like a resort.

[32:05] It feels like a kind of regular resort except people are wearing togas.

[32:10] And they have to, like, paddle their own canoes to get to the island.

[32:14] The citizens do.

[32:15] Citizens do.

[32:16] And then they have to, like, wear chains.

[32:18] For a second, I was like, at other resorts, do you not usually paddle your own canoe if you go canoeing?

[32:24] I mean, I would assume at a sex resort, the hope is that you don't have to paddle your own canoe.

[32:27] Oh, man.

[32:29] You know what I mean?

[32:29] But there's a real divide between the citizens and the – what are the other customers called?

[32:35] I think just guests.

[32:35] Guests.

[32:36] And the citizens, when they show up, it's like they're dressed like they're humans in Planet of the Apes, you know, and then except sexier, I guess.

[32:44] And of course –

[32:44] If that's possible.

[32:45] Impossible.

[32:45] All of the citizens are, you know, in the military helping us fight bugs because, you know, service –

[32:52] That's the only way to become a citizen is military service in the world of Robert Heinlein and Starship Troopers.

[32:57] So then they go straight to the—

[32:59] Thank you, Elliot, for bailing me out of that nowhere.

[33:01] I knew you were going with it.

[33:03] The citizens then have to put themselves on display one at a time for—

[33:08] it's not like an auction, but they're just showing off.

[33:11] And this is when I found the one really genuine—

[33:14] or one of the few really genuinely offensive moments in the movie.

[33:17] I don't know if you guys noticed when there's a person of color who's on display,

[33:20] they immediately cut to the one person of color who is a guest of the island.

[33:24] And I was like, what is this? Come on.

[33:26] And all this, and this like meat market sequence is overseen by the operator of the island,

[33:32] Mistress Lisa, played by Dana Delaney, who is kind of like an overseer figure.

[33:38] She wears what I would call the Joel Schumacher Batman version of dominatrix mistress wear.

[33:43] Not to get us into a weird area, but I...

[33:46] We're talking about Exit T and there's no way to not avoid it.

[33:48] I do feel like having a non-person of color at an auction take a person of color would

[33:54] have its own set of problems.

[33:55] So maybe they should have thought this whole thing through.

[33:57] I feel like there are larger issues with the movie that make this kind of thing almost inevitable because it is really – it's trying to get across, it feels like, the overall, this movie.

[34:10] And I think you're right, Dan.

[34:12] But then I'd say put people of color in other places in the scene rather than just the one.

[34:17] But I think the movie is attempting to get across a very basic idea of dominant, submissive, erotic relationships, but in a way that is afraid of actually getting into what is hot about those relationships.

[34:33] The way that Gary Marshall can deal with.

[34:34] Yes, exactly.

[34:36] It really does feel a lot like your grandma has decided to tell a dirty joke but is – you walked into the room and so has backpedaled and softened it so much that there's no longer a joke to it.

[34:48] Yeah, like this is the type of BDSM resort that like if you had to take your parents with you, it would be fine.

[34:55] It would probably be fine.

[34:56] It would be fine.

[34:56] And there's like –

[34:57] You just hang out by the pool, guys.

[34:58] There's mentions every now and then that like sex is happening but mostly what we see is people just walking around scantily clad.

[35:06] You know, or, like, people doing chores for each other.

[35:09] You know, like, this one guy is subservient to—he's been, like, assigned to Rosie O'Donnell.

[35:15] Yeah, Tommy, you mean.

[35:16] Tommy.

[35:16] So he's almost like, can I get that for you?

[35:18] That was one of my favorite—

[35:19] What if I sleep at the end of your bed?

[35:20] One of my favorite bits of the movie was, yeah, her subservient and, like, how she's just sort of not interested in any of it, but is, like, sort of tickled that someone's doing things for her.

[35:33] She's like, oh, this is nice.

[35:35] She both, like, denies him, but is also like,

[35:38] ah, it's kind of funny when these guys are around.

[35:40] And spoiler alert, they end up dating at the end.

[35:42] Which was, I thought, actually, like,

[35:44] maybe my brain had melted by the point,

[35:46] but I thought that was genuinely sweet.

[35:48] No, that is kind of nice, yeah.

[35:49] But it is funny, too, that, like,

[35:52] Rosie O'Donnell in this role, I have to say,

[35:53] like, there is kind of like a meta joke

[35:55] that you can't help but bring to where you're like,

[35:58] yeah, she's not interested in any of these guys.

[36:00] Like, they all keep trying, and she's like,

[36:02] yeah, this is cute, go away.

[36:04] Now, as you mentioned earlier, they have this kind of show-off runway show.

[36:09] Elliot does not want to take part in it at first.

[36:12] But then once they force him, he really hams it up, and he does something that I was confused by where he, like, sticks out his belly really far to try to, like—he's not, like—he's kind of showing off his muscles or whatever.

[36:24] He's like a bullfrog.

[36:25] And he's just, like, pushing his belly out like a bullfrog.

[36:27] Like, he's like, look, I'm a pregnant guy.

[36:29] And I, like, didn't understand what was supposed to be, like, sexy about that.

[36:32] I think various animals in the wild, Elliot, perform kind of strange mating rituals.

[36:36] It's a display.

[36:37] It's like, look how flat my belly is.

[36:39] This is the most I can get it at, because I'll tell you something, Elliot.

[36:41] I can get my belly way further out than...

[36:43] No, I believe it, yeah.

[36:44] Yeah, their tongues would have been on the ground if Danny Boy McCoy was up there.

[36:48] And now he is being very disruptive, but Mistress Lisa, she can't help but be a little tickled by it, right?

[36:53] Can't help but get a little smile.

[36:55] Okay, meanwhile, back on the mainland, guys, Omar and Nina have been tracking Elliot,

[37:00] And they toss his apartment.

[37:01] They're trying to find the copy, the only photo of Omar in existence.

[37:06] And they're unable to find his apartment, so they track him to the dock.

[37:10] This guy, he wants the person that Thomas Pynchon relies on to get rid of his photos.

[37:15] And this guy, yeah.

[37:17] And Omar is kind of like a C-grade David Warner type.

[37:23] That's a good way to describe it, yeah.

[37:24] So they track where Elliot's going.

[37:29] So Nina and Omar, they pose as guests of the resort so they can get Elliot and get that photo back.

[37:37] Meanwhile, Fred and Sheila deduce that there is also this photo floating around of Omar.

[37:42] And they track Elliot.

[37:44] They find out where he's going.

[37:45] And they're like, the only option here, we go undercover and we use the honeypot of Elliot to trap Omar and Nina.

[37:53] Makes perfect sense.

[37:54] But they have to brush up on their BDSM knowledge first.

[37:58] Yeah, so we get some, you know, funny stuff of Dan Aykroyd putting on a gimp suit.

[38:03] But again, I mean, clearly the comedic elements of Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Aykroyd,

[38:11] though I would say misguided and misplaced, I don't think they're bad in it.

[38:16] I think they're doing what they need to do with bad material.

[38:19] They are talented comedic actors.

[38:21] I think Dan Aykroyd and Rosie O'Donnell both come out well from this movie.

[38:26] I think they're the best things in it, but it's a bad movie, you know?

[38:30] It's like a weird fit.

[38:31] And the, yeah, I mean, and the whole, there's moments where Rosie O'Donnell does some, like, narration.

[38:38] Like, she's like a—

[38:39] She's like, meanwhile, we went to the island to figure out what was going on with so-and-so.

[38:43] The craziest case of my career.

[38:44] Like, she's an old-timey gumshoe, right?

[38:46] I couldn't, you know, from looking into it, I couldn't find, like, particular information of, like, oh, like, reshoots, rewrites, whatever it is.

[38:54] But, like, this really feels like the sort of narration that you stick in where you're like, okay, we need to cover up all the editing we did trying to save this movie, trying to, like, make it shorter and, like, only have the stuff.

[39:07] What if it's like Blade Runner and the director's cut is a masterpiece?

[39:10] Yeah, it could be.

[39:11] To me, although this is my hot take on Blade Runner, I kind of like the original cut more than the director's cut.

[39:16] I like the narration.

[39:16] I think it hurts that I have no idea what the hell is going on in the director's cut.

[39:20] Yeah, it's like a noir movie.

[39:22] It's perfectly, it makes sense for there to be narration there.

[39:25] Well, this is kind of a noir movie, Exit Eden, right?

[39:27] I think, yeah.

[39:27] Well, her narration is very Dragnet-styled, which is funny since...

[39:33] Like Thursday morning, we went over here, we did this thing.

[39:35] Time to find out, you know.

[39:37] So back on the island, Ellie is...

[39:40] Oh, and Sheila and Fred, they go undercover.

[39:44] In this case, Sheila goes undercover as a guest of the island.

[39:47] Fred goes undercover as a maintenance man.

[39:50] And they, of course, have to meet with Hector Elizondo first to, like, I don't know, get snuck onto the island or something.

[39:55] Yeah, I think they can't go without his permission or something.

[39:59] Or they don't want to pay for it.

[40:00] And we get a little bit of extra, like, Hector Elizondo.

[40:02] So I'm not mad about that.

[40:03] Yeah.

[40:04] Hector Elizondo, it's like, I feel like the vibe I'm getting from him is a Bond villain's younger brother who didn't go into the Bond villain business, but instead was like, hmm, I still want to do something a little outré.

[40:18] Or like a salon owner.

[40:21] It reminds me of what you said before.

[40:23] Yeah, he does weirdly have more erotic intensity

[40:28] than anyone else in the movie,

[40:30] but I don't want that out of him

[40:31] just because I'm so used to him

[40:33] playing a certain type of character,

[40:35] mostly in Gary Marshall movies.

[40:37] So it feels very strange.

[40:38] It feels like if your jolly uncle suddenly got really...

[40:43] I mean, Dan, your jolly uncle has sexual drives too.

[40:46] No, I know.

[40:47] Hector Elizondo's character looks like he would go to the performance art pieces

[40:51] that Willem Dafoe's girlfriend in To Live and Die in L.A. puts on.

[40:55] And he'd go, very nice, very nice.

[40:58] With his button-down shirt buttoned all the way to the top, no collar.

[41:02] No, yeah.

[41:02] Not a collar inside.

[41:03] No collar, no tie, nothing, yeah.

[41:04] Okay, so Elliot is initially resistant to the rules of Eden,

[41:11] and that puts him on, like, a weird work detail where he's, like, running around in a thong,

[41:15] like going under waterfalls and carrying stuff around,

[41:18] but he still manages to keep catching the eye of mistress Lisa as she like

[41:23] goes from seminars to teach women how to dirty talk to other sort of like

[41:27] nude sculpture things.

[41:29] And I mean,

[41:30] maybe you'll get into this later on,

[41:31] but there's like a weird seminar that's like,

[41:33] to me,

[41:34] it really reminded me of nothing more than going to like one,

[41:37] one of Elliot's favorite places,

[41:39] the natural history museum.

[41:41] That is one of my favorite places.

[41:42] Where they like walk past all these,

[41:43] It's essentially like living human dioramas of like, these are sexual fantasies you could have.

[41:49] They're sexual fantasy showroom.

[41:50] Yeah.

[41:51] What do I have to do to put you in a sex in the elevator today?

[41:55] But they're also like extremely simple fantasies.

[41:58] Again, it's just like some people like the idea of having sex with their boss.

[42:02] It's like, okay, great.

[42:04] Not just having sex with your boss.

[42:05] The boss is the one being dominated.

[42:07] The secretary dominates the boss.

[42:09] And one is like, sex with a stranger.

[42:12] You never even knew his name, that kind of stuff.

[42:14] But there's like a woman with a clipboard

[42:16] who's walking from scene to scene

[42:18] and they're all like, oh, yes, oh.

[42:20] And even the seminars are more like

[42:23] consciousness-raising groups, you know?

[42:25] There's a lot of like, there was one that was like,

[42:28] tell me, how do you become a mistress?

[42:29] You go to mistress school?

[42:30] And she's like, let me tell you the story

[42:32] of how I became a mistress.

[42:33] And it's like, it seems more like,

[42:36] we're just going to get together

[42:37] and we're going to talk about, you know,

[42:38] where we can, like, there's nothing sexy about it.

[42:40] It feels like a sex book.

[42:42] It feels, this movie is less erotic than Book Club.

[42:45] And I mean, I'm surprised that there isn't like a scene

[42:48] where there's a seminar put on by like a sex toy manufacturer

[42:51] and they're just like, they're doing like Mary Kay cosmetics.

[42:54] What I'd love to see is, do you guys remember

[42:55] when Dick DiBartolo, Mad's Maddest Writer,

[42:58] used to go on like the Today Show or Good Morning America

[43:01] and show like new electronic gadgets

[43:03] that you can buy at Sharper Image or Hammock or Slimmer?

[43:05] Like that's what I wanted to see.

[43:07] But with sex toys, you know?

[43:08] Oh, Dan, you would have loved these segments.

[43:10] But, like, I want someone like that who's just like, then you got this thing.

[43:13] Look at what it does.

[43:14] Okay, boy.

[43:15] Now we move on to the next one.

[43:16] But they don't do that.

[43:17] Instead, it's all very, like, it's very soft.

[43:19] It's very soft and, like, easygoing.

[43:21] Because it is a vacation.

[43:22] Yeah, so Lisa does take an interest in Elliot, and she tries to break down some of his walls.

[43:28] There's a scene where she makes him get down on all fours, and then she sits on his back bare bottom.

[43:34] Oh, that's so sexy.

[43:36] She goes, I'll let you feel what you wanted to see, which is a very—it's just a funny way to put it.

[43:43] Like, she—Dana Delaney, I think, has a lot of trouble, and I like her a lot.

[43:46] She has a lot of trouble saying the dialogue that is supposed to be mistress dialogue, I think, mainly because it's not very well written.

[43:53] But, you know, it's hard to get—it's hard to do it and feel like it's not silly.

[43:57] And I think the main thing about that character is she has to be like—she shouldn't come off as silly, but she—it's hard not to.

[44:04] And so, you know, our villains and our cops have also entered the island.

[44:10] It's very funny to me that Amon's character, Nina, is like undercover and she's like the most striking.

[44:17] She's wearing the most extreme outfits.

[44:20] She is going out of her way to be noticed.

[44:21] Like she's like walking off a fucking Mugler runway or something.

[44:23] And she feels like that character should have been like Mistress Lisa.

[44:27] Like she feels like a Mistress Lisa character.

[44:29] She would have been an incredible Mistress Lisa.

[44:32] because she's like so naturally dominating and mean

[44:36] and to see a character like that broken down by love,

[44:39] you know, and struggling with it.

[44:41] Like that's what Dana Delaney,

[44:42] Dana Delaney doesn't surprise me

[44:44] as a character who is falling in love

[44:45] because she already seems very emotional,

[44:47] you know, or not emotional.

[44:48] She seems very like not,

[44:50] like there isn't a persona that she's putting forward.

[44:53] This, you know, falls.

[44:54] Very vulnerable.

[44:55] I guess what I'm saying, she already seems vulnerable.

[44:57] Falls victim to the Fifty Shades disease a little bit

[45:01] Where it's like, it seems to be like pathologizing the fact that she has any kinks.

[45:06] Like, the idea seems to be that she's doing this because she can't love.

[45:12] She always wants to have control.

[45:13] It seems to be like her reaction to her mother's death is a need for control.

[45:18] Which we learn through some backstory that's prompted by Rosie O'Donnell's character.

[45:21] But she still keeps in touch with her dad, right?

[45:23] Yeah, but he's like, that was a really, that was a weird scene where like after her mom's death, her dad's like, okay, see you later.

[45:30] I was like, what is this Ella McKay?

[45:33] Exit to Ella.

[45:36] What would that movie have been like?

[45:38] I mean, there'd be a lot more sex scarves.

[45:39] Gosh darn it.

[45:40] I'm going to run the best, greatest sex island there ever has been.

[45:44] Don't you understand?

[45:46] We could be doing better for people's kinks.

[45:48] So a lot of this stuff is...

[45:49] Tooth tutors and tit tutors.

[45:50] Rosie O'Donnell's character, Sheila, is basically going to places and like doing bits the whole time.

[45:57] Like making jokes, asking questions.

[45:59] Which I think when I saw this in the theater at age 16,

[46:02] I'll be honest, I was probably mostly interested

[46:04] in like the nude scenes.

[46:06] Probably.

[46:06] But, and like the O'Donnell stuff annoyed me.

[46:10] This time around, I'm like, this is what I love

[46:12] is that she just like feels like she walked in

[46:15] from offset and was just like,

[46:17] I'm going to heckle this movie a little bit.

[46:18] I think it helps her performance that it feels like

[46:20] she is like, what the hell is this movie?

[46:21] Like, what did I get into?

[46:22] Yeah.

[46:23] And Dan Aykroyd's character is undercover

[46:25] as a maintenance man.

[46:26] And the whole time he's just working.

[46:27] And I think that's kind of funny.

[46:29] But I wish they played that up more where, like, they're like, hey, can you help me do this thing for the case?

[46:34] Like, oh, man, they got me working all day.

[46:36] I like cleaning out the fucking cum traps in the jacuzzi.

[46:39] And one of the things that Dan Aykroyd does better than any other performer maybe in history is, say, technical specs and, like, very specific information in a funny, articulate way.

[46:48] So I wish there was more of that kind of stuff.

[46:50] But he's talking about, you know, yeah, whatever equipment they're using at the island and things like that.

[46:54] But I also like the idea that's introduced a little later that he has been turning heads around the island.

[46:59] Like, people are intrigued by this maintenance guy.

[47:01] I don't like this because it's unprofessional.

[47:03] He has to get a physical from the island doctor.

[47:05] And when she tests him for, what, hernia,

[47:07] she makes a comment about how big his penis is.

[47:10] And from that point on,

[47:11] everyone on the island is calling him big boy.

[47:13] And I'm like, that's unprofessional.

[47:14] No, that part's unprofessional.

[47:15] The doctor told everyone that this guy is a big dick.

[47:16] But I feel like up until that point,

[47:18] that doctor had been the paragon of the Hippocratic Oath.

[47:21] But I do feel like something comedically

[47:24] could have been done more with that.

[47:25] Yes.

[47:25] I was like, he's, like, so uninterested in it.

[47:29] And, you know, takes the job as the maintenance person because he's so uninterested in all the sex stuff.

[47:33] But everyone is chasing him.

[47:35] And he has, like, a couple moments where he's, like, narrating into a tape recorder about the psychological effect it's having on him to be, like, surrounded by sex.

[47:44] And, like, all that stuff, yeah, could have been funnier if they made more.

[47:47] Like, if the movie was about him, like, they could have done more with that character and made it funnier, yeah.

[47:51] Okay, so—

[47:53] The idea of everyone who's trying to have sex with him is like, I just have—I'm a cop.

[47:56] I just have a job to do.

[47:57] And they're like, yeah, I like that fantasy.

[47:58] Let's keep going with it.

[48:00] No, no, you don't understand.

[48:00] It's real.

[48:01] That scene doesn't happen.

[48:02] Yeah, so like, there's some bits.

[48:04] Sheila befriends her sub, Tommy,

[48:06] who's like doting on her and trying to suck her toes

[48:09] and also do nice things for her.

[48:10] I'm just going to briefly mention that Tommy's subs

[48:13] is definitely a place in New Jersey.

[48:14] Yeah, sure it is.

[48:16] And everyone, like all these characters,

[48:19] are all trying to get Elliot alone,

[48:21] but it's hard because he's on a work detail

[48:23] or Mistress Lisa has this guy running all over the place.

[48:25] I know something about Elliot.

[48:26] He works too hard.

[48:28] This is one of the few times where it's the Milburn-Melbourne thing

[48:32] and also that Elliot is just working too hard.

[48:34] He has too many jobs.

[48:35] We learned Lisa's backstory.

[48:36] There's some dead mom trauma coupled with like a little bit of stuff

[48:40] about her like learning on how to be a sub

[48:44] and also how to be a dominant from Hector Elizondo.

[48:46] She says the best submissives become the best dominance,

[48:49] which is that true?

[48:50] Yeah, I don't know.

[48:51] I'm not deep enough in that culture.

[48:53] But I mean, I guess it's possible.

[48:54] Anything's possible.

[48:55] Anything's possible.

[48:58] Elliot for some reason

[48:59] when you said that

[49:00] that really reminded me

[49:01] of the Chris Farley show

[49:02] and he's like

[49:03] talking to Paul McCartney

[49:05] you said

[49:06] and in the end

[49:07] the love you take

[49:09] is equal to the love you make

[49:11] yeah dude Chris

[49:11] is that true?

[49:12] Okay so this is where

[49:16] we have a pivotal

[49:17] almost climactic scene

[49:19] between Elliot

[49:20] and Mistress Lisa

[49:22] where he first helps her bathe

[49:24] and then she

[49:25] This is one of the funniest

[49:26] cliches of erotic movies

[49:27] which is the man

[49:29] shaving the woman's legs

[49:30] which seems to be

[49:32] one of the least sexy things

[49:33] that you could do.

[49:34] Separate cabin fever.

[49:35] I would,

[49:36] I'll be honest,

[49:37] I would be terrified

[49:38] that I would,

[49:38] you know,

[49:39] cut the woman.

[49:39] I don't want to do that.

[49:40] I don't like shaving my own face

[49:41] with a safety razor.

[49:42] You guys aren't into knife play?

[49:44] That's fucking weird.

[49:45] Not something I'm into, yeah.

[49:47] Okay, well.

[49:49] But you see this

[49:50] in many erotic movies.

[49:51] You don't put on a screen mask

[49:52] and participate in knife play?

[49:54] You guys are fucking weird.

[49:56] I guess I'm a real Dan Aykroyd.

[49:58] I'm too uptight.

[49:59] Yeah.

[49:59] You do have the same first name.

[50:01] True.

[50:02] It's true.

[50:02] Okay, so this is the scene where Elliot allows himself to be—

[50:08] A real Dan Aykroyd.

[50:08] He gets high on you.

[50:09] He doesn't do the selfies.

[50:10] He allows himself to be chained up in the middle of the room, stripped naked.

[50:16] Not chained.

[50:17] Those are ropes.

[50:18] Okay.

[50:18] Puts an eye mask over his eyes.

[50:22] In case he wants to sleep.

[50:24] And then Mistress Lisa begins lightly paddling his buttocks with a hairbrush, which he immediately is resistant to.

[50:34] He keeps saying, no, no, no.

[50:35] And I'm like, okay, guys, maybe stop.

[50:37] Yeah.

[50:38] And Dana Delaney, by the way, she, like, talks about how much she likes butts.

[50:42] And I'm like, same girl.

[50:43] Yeah.

[50:43] Dan felt really seen.

[50:45] Can't have Dana without a Dan in there.

[50:48] I will say this is the one moment that feels – there's only one line in this that feels real to me, and it's when she says, I give you permission to like this, which feels like it is the therapy that he needs.

[50:59] And it was like, oh, movie, if you had followed that thought, that what she is doing is not awakening something in him that he doesn't know about or whatever, but that she's – this situation gives him permission to admit what he likes, which is kind of what they're getting at, but I feel like they don't hit it hard enough.

[51:15] Ultimately, in story, like BDSM stories, that is kind of like the keystone.

[51:21] It's the idea of being able to, learning how to admit what you actually want.

[51:26] Yeah, to accept your own desires.

[51:27] Wow, that, I feel like we should throw an Enigma soundtrack at me.

[51:32] Okay, so shortly after, there's a lot of like, everybody's trying to get Elliot alone.

[51:41] And then there's this high stakes.

[51:43] Tell me about it.

[51:43] There's this high stakes roller blade race.

[51:45] This is when I feel like the movie ran out of things to do.

[51:49] They're just like, I don't know, there's a roller blade race.

[51:53] We learned that Elliot, we had already learned that Elliot is an accomplished roller skater

[51:57] because his submission video for the island involved him on roller skating.

[52:01] That's just good screenwriting.

[52:03] That's just good screenwriting.

[52:04] Which I'm like, hell yeah, this guy knows his greatest asset.

[52:07] Choose me for your sex island.

[52:09] Your audition videos should include raw, vulnerable sexual appeal.

[52:14] And also, what are your special skills?

[52:16] Do you have any tricks?

[52:16] Talents.

[52:17] For a talent show.

[52:18] Okay, so Elliot wins the race.

[52:19] I know there's one guy who submitted his sex application video who does impressions.

[52:23] Yes.

[52:24] A little stand-up.

[52:26] After winning the race, Elliot starts getting some attention from a woman.

[52:29] And that makes Mistress Lisa jealous.

[52:32] And she kind of claims him for herself.

[52:35] And it causes a little bit of a hullabaloo.

[52:37] And it also makes, it kind of makes her look lesser in the eyes of her co-workers.

[52:42] Yeah, but it saves him from Omar.

[52:44] Yeah, it saves him from getting blasted by Omar.

[52:47] Now, when you say blasted.

[52:50] Omar is the evil diamond smuggler, so he would most likely kill her.

[52:54] Oh, okay.

[52:54] Not Omar from The Wire.

[52:56] No, no.

[52:56] He did blast a lot of people.

[52:57] He also would blast people, but probably not him.

[52:58] You always know when he's coming, though, because he whistles the farmer and the devil.

[53:02] Okay, so there, at this point,

[53:04] this is where we get the montage

[53:06] where Sheila tries on like a BDSM,

[53:10] like a bondage fetish wear outfit, leather outfit.

[53:13] And she-

[53:16] She looks like a Lady Rob Halford.

[53:17] She kind of steals Elliot away from Nina,

[53:20] who is dressed up kind of like one of the characters

[53:23] from the Persona 4 video game.

[53:25] And she-

[53:26] I'll take your word for it.

[53:28] And this is, and then she's like leading him away.

[53:31] But before she can explain to Elliot what her real mission is, Mistress Lisa has Elliot taken away.

[53:36] And this is where we get the scene that was key to the trailer where a guy says, let me, you know, fulfill your fantasy.

[53:44] And she says, paint my house, brings the house down.

[53:47] Everybody cracks up.

[53:49] Except I learned from the Irishman that painting houses means you're a hit man.

[53:52] Oh, my God.

[53:52] Wait, what?

[53:54] Yeah.

[53:54] That's what he was doing?

[53:56] You thought the Irishman was about a guy who paints houses?

[53:58] Yes.

[53:59] You got the Irishman mixed up with

[54:00] The War with Grandpa,

[54:01] a different Robert De Niro movie,

[54:02] where he is a contractor who builds houses.

[54:04] Yeah, yeah.

[54:05] Okay.

[54:06] What if that was the same character?

[54:07] What if?

[54:09] After years of being a mob hitman,

[54:11] he has to move in with his grandson.

[54:12] I mean, the character from The Irishman

[54:15] dreams to have that close of a relationship

[54:17] with his family.

[54:18] Yeah, that's true,

[54:18] considering it ends with him alone

[54:20] and his daughter never talking to him again.

[54:21] Honestly, that would make it a lot funnier.

[54:22] It would make The Irishman a lot funnier.

[54:25] Sure.

[54:28] But also War with Grandpa, like this kid is bedeviling this hitman.

[54:32] That's true, yeah.

[54:33] I mean, but no, I would love if the Irishman ended with the War with Grandpa.

[54:37] Somebody's got to make that super cut.

[54:39] It's a four and a half hour movie where the Irishman ends with him having to move in with his son.

[54:44] It just says five years later in War with Grandpa.

[54:46] That's like, I remember once a friend of mine told me about how his friend had edited all three RoboCop movies into one movie.

[54:54] And I'm like, wow, what a feat.

[54:56] And I assumed that he had like interspersed the scenes.

[54:58] Really, he had just taken one movie and then put a title that said Five Years Later and then played the second movie.

[55:03] And then it said like Two Years Later and then played the third movie.

[55:06] He had just cut the credits off.

[55:08] Not as big an achievement.

[55:10] Not all.

[55:14] Is it Will Wheaton who does that?

[55:16] I think Topher Grace.

[55:17] Topher Grace style of example.

[55:17] Didn't Topher Grace edit all the prequels into one movie?

[55:19] Yeah.

[55:20] Wait, that's what Topher Grace did?

[55:22] I think so.

[55:23] He put like Five Years Later on?

[55:24] No, no, no.

[55:25] He actually cut them together into a movie.

[55:27] Okay.

[55:28] well okay so at this point lisa realized that her relationship with elliot is having a negative

[55:35] effect on her position on the island which is very important to her core identity so she has his stuff

[55:40] packed up unfortunately that that evidence the role of film that has omar's picture falls out

[55:47] of the bag um and she is sending elliot away and she is refunding his uh his fee for uh being on

[55:55] the island. She's making him sail away

[55:58] sail away, sail away

[56:00] which I don't know if it was on the Pure

[56:01] Moods album, but it should have been. I believe

[56:03] I think maybe it was.

[56:05] That was Ornico Flow

[56:07] That was Young Elliot's Doin' It playlist

[56:09] Yeah, that was Young Elliot

[56:11] definitely had a Doin' It playlist. Young Elliot

[56:13] was certainly doin' it, too.

[56:15] Doin' it and doin' it and doin' it well.

[56:17] That was certainly a thing. That was on mine!

[56:20] Yeah, and also, this is how we

[56:21] do it. Also on mine. That was on there, yeah.

[56:23] You're doin' it

[56:25] CD was that monk, monk chant CD that was released.

[56:29] It was actually a chipmunks chant CD.

[56:31] It's the same chant, just higher.

[56:33] Christmas time is here.

[56:35] That kind of stuff.

[56:36] As I slowly undid my robe.

[56:39] Your silk kimono falls to the floor.

[56:43] I just want a hula hoop.

[56:47] An altered falsetto.

[56:48] You show off your ceremonial katana.

[56:52] Yeah, exactly.

[56:53] There was a lot of, no knife play, but there was a lot of ninja play.

[56:56] Yeah, I love it.

[56:57] Okay, so it was just you pretending to be different Ninja Turtles.

[57:02] Yeah, it would be like, who are you going to be with tonight, Raphael?

[57:05] Oh, a bad boy.

[57:07] Do you want someone cool but rude or a party dude tonight?

[57:10] Yeah, exactly.

[57:10] Do you want sensitive Donatello or do you want dutiful?

[57:13] We'll make you cum but won't enjoy it, Leonardo.

[57:15] Mind you, you don't know what you're going to get.

[57:21] You're going to have fun doing it, though.

[57:23] You're going to have fun.

[57:24] Maybe you'll have a great evening.

[57:25] Maybe he'll just forget you're there and eat some pizza for a while.

[57:28] Either way, you're leaving with a story.

[57:31] So let me put on the music.

[57:33] The music is the team and chiefie.

[57:38] But like a slow kind of – like a Barry White version.

[57:42] They're the world's most fearsome fighting team.

[57:48] Oh, yeah.

[57:49] Heroes in a half shell and they're green.

[57:53] okay so lisa tries to send elliot away elliot stops her and he's like look i'm gonna go to

[57:58] new orleans you should come with me i'm gonna go there no matter what i'm gonna go and do the most

[58:03] touristy fucking things new orleans can offer she's resistant but obviously there's a part of

[58:11] her that wants to do this and she eventually decides to go with him so elliot convinced

[58:18] Lisa to join him on his NOLA trip.

[58:20] Meanwhile, they've already left.

[58:23] And at this point, Sheila is trying to get some information on the hotel computer.

[58:27] Wherever Eden is located, it is just a hop to New Orleans.

[58:30] And San Diego.

[58:32] And San Diego.

[58:32] It takes no time to get there.

[58:33] You can take a boat from San Diego to get there, but it also takes you no time to get to New Orleans.

[58:37] Yeah.

[58:38] Nina then sneaks up and attacks Sheila.

[58:41] So we get a little bit of like a fetish wear fight between Iman and Rosie O'Donnell.

[58:48] Dan Aykroyd stumbles in and he's like, oh, I'm sorry for interrupting.

[58:51] I'll leave you alone, ladies.

[58:51] They're doing the part of the fight that involves them thrusting their hips against each other,

[58:55] which doesn't make sense as a fighting movie.

[58:56] It's just a joke, everybody.

[58:57] But she's, Ahmaud is incapacitated and they realize that Omar is already on his way to New Orleans

[59:03] and he is going after Elliot and Lisa.

[59:06] Folks, we are deep into Act 3 now.

[59:08] So Omar tracks them down.

[59:11] They're having their, like, romantic touristy trip where they're just wandering around.

[59:16] They go see the jugglers on Bourbon Street.

[59:19] He buys her a croissant and then licks butter off her boobs.

[59:24] You know, that's, yeah.

[59:25] The most sensual way.

[59:26] And I'm like, a croissant already has a fuckload of butter in it, dude.

[59:29] Yeah, you don't have to butter a croissant.

[59:30] Yeah, that's going to cause some farts, everybody.

[59:33] And the funny thing is.

[59:34] Cause some farts.

[59:35] Is that the look on Dana Delaney's face is lack of interest in anything but her breakfast.

[59:42] Yeah.

[59:43] It's like they've been together for a day

[59:45] and already she seems to be over the magic of Elliot.

[59:47] Yeah.

[59:48] And I'll tell you this, movie, I've been there.

[59:50] Girls have gotten over the magic of Elliot very quickly.

[59:53] Okay, so Sheila and Fred also pursue Omar, Elliot, and Lisa.

[1:00:00] Elliot and Lisa go on a antebellum mansion tour

[1:00:05] where they find a secluded bedroom

[1:00:11] with one of those canopy beds.

[1:00:13] and they have a romantic tryst that is, I would say, like, diet Zalman King.

[1:00:19] Yes.

[1:00:20] This whole movie feels very Zalman King-like.

[1:00:23] By the way, if Zalman King had directed this, crazy time.

[1:00:26] I feel like...

[1:00:27] Crazy what?

[1:00:27] Crazy time.

[1:00:28] Certainly, it's Gary Marshall trying to channel his inner Zalman King,

[1:00:31] and it's more of an inner Alan King.

[1:00:33] Oh.

[1:00:34] Okay.

[1:00:36] So, Omar strikes while they are cleaning up.

[1:00:42] He holds a silenced pistol to them, and he demands the film.

[1:00:45] There's a scuffle.

[1:00:47] In the fight, he chucks Dana Delaney out of a window, which is kind of crazy.

[1:00:52] That is crazy, yeah.

[1:00:53] Sheila then shoots Omar, but that's not enough.

[1:00:57] He almost takes her out before Fred shoots Omar, killing him in front of a whole bunch of people.

[1:01:02] They show their badges.

[1:01:04] They're like, don't worry, we're LAPD, which is a weird thing to do in New Orleans.

[1:01:09] Well, they might think L.A. stands for Louisiana.

[1:01:11] Yeah, that's actually true.

[1:01:12] Also, like, Ackroyd, like, gives, like, a speech that then, like, sort of, like, fades out towards the end.

[1:01:19] And Rosie O'Donnell's narration took over.

[1:01:20] I'm like, I wonder what didn't work here that they had to cover.

[1:01:24] Okay.

[1:01:26] This was an earlier time, though, when police officers shooting people in front of other people was considered just, you know, good stuff.

[1:01:32] Yeah.

[1:01:33] You know, just part of the job, you know.

[1:01:35] At this point, they, you know, they're down at the police station in New Orleans.

[1:01:41] Lisa needs some time alone, and then she uses that time alone to sneak back to the island and leave Elliot.

[1:01:47] Meanwhile, Fred's ex-wife or wife shows up, and they rekindle their romance, which is, you know, that's nice.

[1:01:57] Sheila tracks down Elliot, finds out that Lisa has left him, and she says, look, I have to go back to the island to get that film.

[1:02:05] Why don't you come with me?

[1:02:07] And he's like, okay.

[1:02:08] So they go back to the island in the Elliot makes this big gesture and he proposes marriage shows up in her room tied up again like he was on that magic night when she briefly slightly tapped his butt.

[1:02:23] But now he's wearing a tuxedo and he proposes to get married and explains all those things like, hey, we can still be who we are.

[1:02:31] Just we'll be together.

[1:02:32] Yeah.

[1:02:33] Hooray.

[1:02:34] It'll be in my vows that you can spank me.

[1:02:36] And then Sheila, as she's leaving, bumps into Tommy, who is her sub, and it turns out that

[1:02:41] he is actually a CEO that has businesses in multiple cities, and that one of those businesses

[1:02:46] is in L.A., where she's a police officer, and that he would like to take her out to

[1:02:50] dinner, which she seems surprised by, and then they kiss, and then it turns out he actually

[1:02:54] has somebody paint her house.

[1:02:56] End of movie.

[1:02:57] Oh.

[1:02:57] Exit.

[1:02:58] You did it.

[1:02:58] Exiting.

[1:02:59] Exiting.

[1:03:00] Now exiting.

[1:03:01] Exit to Eden.

[1:03:02] Guys, what a movie.

[1:03:05] What a picture.

[1:03:06] What a picture.

[1:03:06] It is.

[1:03:07] It's mostly how I remember it from when I saw it again in the theater.

[1:03:11] It's funny because, again, I saw it, I think, on HBO when I was also around 14 or 15.

[1:03:15] And it's amazing which parts of it I was like, oh, yeah.

[1:03:18] Because if you had asked me that, I would have remembered none of it.

[1:03:20] But there were parts where I was like, oh, yeah, I remember not understanding this at the time.

[1:03:23] And I still don't quite understand it.

[1:03:24] Yeah.

[1:03:25] Yeah.

[1:03:26] What I remembered about it was basically Dana Delaney was hot and the comedy didn't work.

[1:03:32] And how do you feel about it now?

[1:03:34] The same.

[1:03:36] So nothing has changed in the intervening years.

[1:03:38] None of your life experiences have been brought to bear on this anyway?

[1:03:41] Yeah, I mean, the biggest thing is great works of art change over the years.

[1:03:45] More works of art don't, yeah.

[1:03:47] I would say that this is probably final judgments time, Dan.

[1:03:51] Oh, yeah, final judgments.

[1:03:52] Well, how does that go?

[1:03:53] It goes like this.

[1:03:53] Is this a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie that we kind of like?

[1:03:59] Now, we should make sure.

[1:04:00] Do you think the movie wants to be called bad?

[1:04:03] Does it get pleasure out of that?

[1:04:05] Is it?

[1:04:05] That's true.

[1:04:06] Because I don't want to give the movie pleasure.

[1:04:07] Exactly, yeah.

[1:04:08] Is its kink being judged harshly?

[1:04:11] It's hard to say.

[1:04:12] Here's the thing.

[1:04:13] This is probably the time in the podcast

[1:04:15] where we should all talk about our own personal kinks.

[1:04:17] Yeah, let's go for it, yeah.

[1:04:18] Look, I'm going to eye and test for Elliot, right?

[1:04:22] What?

[1:04:23] Giant test.

[1:04:24] Giant test.

[1:04:25] Just pick me up and put me in your pocket.

[1:04:28] Or a giant test of the Dobervilles.

[1:04:31] I mean, I'm on the record.

[1:04:34] Reading Tess of the D'Urbervilles a few years ago, that year was the most intense experience engaging with a work of art that I had in an entire year.

[1:04:43] Great book, Tess of the D'Urbervilles.

[1:04:44] Highly recommend it.

[1:04:46] Maybe I'll actually read it.

[1:04:47] Super hot.

[1:04:47] Especially if she was bigger.

[1:04:49] There's a reason they call him Thomas Hardy.

[1:04:51] Okay.

[1:04:52] Especially if he was bigger.

[1:04:54] Yeah, but it's called Giant Tess of the D'Urbervilles.

[1:04:55] I feel like she would have been able to get away with just stomping on people if she needed to.

[1:04:59] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:05:00] You know what?

[1:05:01] I'm going to go bad, bad.

[1:05:04] guarding giantess oh yeah bad bad i'm gonna go bad bad i because it is pretty boring

[1:05:10] you would think that this would like this is like a so dan this didn't shock

[1:05:16] or challenge you well you think that this was like this like sex comedy slash i guess bdsm drama

[1:05:24] like would be you know 90 minutes long no no no it's almost two hours long uh despite feeling

[1:05:32] totally chopped up um i almost would recommend it to people who are fans of bad movies to watch

[1:05:39] as a bad bad movie just because it's so inexplicable it is a yes it is a very weird

[1:05:44] experience a lot of people had to make the decision to make this movie and i would i would

[1:05:49] this is it's i would like i want to read the book about the making of this movie i'm more interested

[1:05:54] in the making of this movie at this point than i am in the in the making of star wars maybe because

[1:05:58] I know more about that already.

[1:05:59] Like, I want to know how this happened.

[1:06:01] Yeah, but I find it a little too difficult

[1:06:04] to get through to go good, bad.

[1:06:06] And also, this is not a movie that is readily available

[1:06:10] if you want to run out and watch it.

[1:06:12] It is not streaming anywhere.

[1:06:13] The DVD is out of print.

[1:06:15] We had to, you know...

[1:06:16] We had to break into the Gary Marshall archives

[1:06:19] and get his personal print.

[1:06:21] Yeah, so I'm letting you off the hook

[1:06:24] by saying you don't have to try and watch it.

[1:06:26] But what do you guys think?

[1:06:27] Yeah, I mean, I think there's something kind of fascinating about how wrongheaded the whole thing is and how it does feel like movies that are kind of taped together.

[1:06:35] It is, like, shockingly unsexy, which is impressive.

[1:06:40] So, yeah, I'm going to say this is a bad, bad movie.

[1:06:44] I'm not, like, mad at it because I'm glad that I forced you guys to watch this movie, and I'm glad that I am able to fill in a gaping hole in my cinema knowledge.

[1:06:56] Really, I'm going to say Bad, Bad also.

[1:06:58] Yeah, more because it is a tepid movie more than anything else.

[1:07:02] It is neither.

[1:07:03] Not hot.

[1:07:03] It's not hot, but it's also like it's not painfully offensive.

[1:07:07] It's not like horribly like bizarre.

[1:07:11] Instead, it's just like, why did they make this movie?

[1:07:13] Like, why did they make it?

[1:07:14] And then when making that decision, why did they like do it so, for lack of a better word, like vanilla?

[1:07:20] Yeah, and I mean obviously the – I'm sure there's a certain amount of offensiveness to the portrayal of kink culture, but I mean it's so like – it feels like grandpa doesn't understand sort of thing.

[1:07:31] That's the thing.

[1:07:31] It feels like grandpa doesn't – it doesn't feel like we're judging these people, and it also doesn't feel like let's get nasty.

[1:07:36] It feels like grandpa doesn't understand.

[1:07:38] Yeah, and it's – and that grandpa's name is Kerry Marshall.

[1:07:41] A lovable guy.

[1:07:43] A lovable grandpa.

[1:07:44] It's like a bad movie that I am not unhappy is hard to find because why would you watch it?

[1:07:49] But it's not so bad that I'm like, you've got to see this thing.

[1:07:52] I feel like my new benchmark for movies like that is the Ice Cube or the Worlds.

[1:07:56] And it is, you know, it's just it's nowhere near it.

[1:07:58] You know, you've got to see that movie.

[1:08:00] It's so dumb.

[1:08:01] It's so dumb.

[1:08:02] You know what?

[1:08:03] This feels like a good time to talk a little bit about Max Von Drive.

[1:08:07] I want to make the case.

[1:08:08] Let's do it.

[1:08:08] I want to make the case, listeners, for why listener-supported media is important.

[1:08:13] We are currently living in a time when the media landscape, quite frankly, sucks.

[1:08:19] Consolidation of big studios and networks and production companies

[1:08:24] is reducing the number and kinds of things that get made.

[1:08:28] AI is slopping its gross anti-human, anti-artist, anti-environmental shit all over everything.

[1:08:35] And the government is trying to turn everything into state-owned puppet media.

[1:08:39] So I don't want to put too much weight on our silly show about bad movies,

[1:08:43] But I do think that these days, the model that we represent is more important than ever.

[1:08:47] Our podcast is artist-owned.

[1:08:49] We are under no pressure to do it a different way.

[1:08:53] And we're affiliated with MaxFun through a handshake deal.

[1:08:56] We could walk away and retain our show.

[1:08:58] But we're with them because we want to be there.

[1:09:01] And the portion of your membership money that goes to the network is going to a worker-owned collective.

[1:09:05] Where instead of all funneling to the top of some corporation, Max Fund employees share in the company's decision making and its profits.

[1:09:16] And if you're going to do business, I think it's just about the most ethical, creator-friendly way to do it in this capitalist society.

[1:09:23] And unfortunately, in a capitalist society, one way to express your voice is to choose where your money goes.

[1:09:30] And I know that I personally am a lot happier with my monthly support of Max Fund than basically any other company you can go to.

[1:09:37] And you know what?

[1:09:39] It means more to us than it would to some fucking billionaire somewhere.

[1:09:43] So I know it's a hard time in the world.

[1:09:46] If your dollars need to go elsewhere, either as charitable giving or because your household needs to tighten its belt, believe me, I understand that.

[1:09:54] But if you have the means to, let's say, buy a fancy coffee once a month, consider supporting the shows you love starting at just $5 a month at MaximumFun.org slash join.

[1:10:07] Max Fun Drive starts next week.

[1:10:15] Max Fun shows like this one are creator-owned.

[1:10:18] The network is worker-owned, and we're all supported by members just like you.

[1:10:24] MaxFunDrive is the best time to support the shows you love.

[1:10:27] You can get Drive-exclusive gifts, a bunch of new bonus content,

[1:10:31] and join in on the fun as shows hit their milestones.

[1:10:35] Plus, we've got dozens of meetups and counting.

[1:10:37] We've got live streams and more.

[1:10:39] So stay tuned, because you don't want to miss it.

[1:10:42] MaxFunDrive 2026 is starting Monday, April 20th.

[1:10:46] I'm Jordan Cruciola, host of Feeling Seen,

[1:10:51] where every week I have a different actor, director, or writer as my co-host.

[1:10:55] And whoever that co-host may be, it is a sure bet

[1:10:58] that we are digging deep and having a great time doing it.

[1:11:02] I love that you just said that.

[1:11:06] Yeah, I mean, if I were going to join a cult, I think this might be it.

[1:11:09] A fresh look at your favorite film and a peek behind the curtain at how movies get made.

[1:11:14] Oh, okay, I'm going to tell you this whole story.

[1:11:15] Okay, I almost got fired from that movie.

[1:11:17] you should be listening to Feeling Seen.

[1:11:21] I had so much fun.

[1:11:22] I love what you're doing.

[1:11:23] I hope I did okay.

[1:11:24] New episodes every week on Maximum Fun.

[1:11:27] Let's move to letters from listeners.

[1:11:33] And I apologize.

[1:11:35] Letters.

[1:11:36] From listeners.

[1:11:40] Letters.

[1:11:44] Due to a...

[1:11:46] Duction.

[1:11:47] Due to some...

[1:11:48] Deception.

[1:11:49] Listeners.

[1:11:51] Due to some technical difficulties,

[1:11:54] I just, I cannot find the full letters,

[1:11:59] but I have the questions from the letters.

[1:12:00] Technical difficulties.

[1:12:02] Technical difficulties.

[1:12:03] Testicle difficulties.

[1:12:05] No, the technical difficulties are within my own brain.

[1:12:08] I apologize to the writers of those letters,

[1:12:10] but I want to get their questions out there.

[1:12:12] Yeah, these questions are too important to hold back on.

[1:12:15] Yeah.

[1:12:15] Here's one.

[1:12:17] Who would you want to interview you out of anyone living or dead in the last 100 years or so?

[1:12:24] Who would you want to interview you out of anyone living or dead in the last 100 years or so?

[1:12:30] Now, do you think this is like a public interview or a private interview?

[1:12:33] Like an interview with a vampire?

[1:12:36] I mean, that was kind of both, right?

[1:12:38] That was for public.

[1:12:38] It was in private.

[1:12:39] But I mean, like, are they interviewing us like on a TV show or are they interviewing us like for therapy?

[1:12:44] I presume it's for—

[1:12:47] Public consumption?

[1:12:47] consumption yeah and who would interview us because at first i misread this as who would

[1:12:52] you want to interview the last 100 years and i'm like i already did it robert carrow

[1:12:56] 99 invisible breakdown who would you like who do you think would do a good job at interviewing

[1:13:01] you i mean i'm so multifaceted that's the issue yeah i mean it's pretty it feels like just like

[1:13:09] log rolling for the network but i do love uh jesse thorn's interviews i think he is a great

[1:13:15] interviewer and i think that as someone who knows me a bit personally he could uh he would be

[1:13:23] get you out of your shell right you know he would know what to ask someone who has been interviewed

[1:13:28] by jesse thorne on bullseye you're right yeah um yeah yeah you are right dan yeah i mean i haven't

[1:13:34] been interviewed on bullseye but but i haven't accomplished anything i've done no you're you're

[1:13:42] You haven't written a book about farming anything.

[1:13:45] About farming jokes?

[1:13:46] No, let alone jokes.

[1:13:47] So I think, I feel like, I think of the late night talk show hosts,

[1:13:53] I think Seth Meyers and I would get along the best.

[1:13:55] You know, he's a drinker, but like in like a good way, not a bad way.

[1:13:59] Like somebody.

[1:14:00] Like some other late night host.

[1:14:02] Yeah, like some other late night host.

[1:14:03] That aren't names.

[1:14:04] Yeah, that's not names.

[1:14:04] Or reasons of us not getting sued.

[1:14:06] I think, say more about Seth Meyers, yeah.

[1:14:09] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:14:10] I feel like he's got, and he's got like a certain, he's got a certain riz.

[1:14:13] Just like me.

[1:14:15] Yeah.

[1:14:15] And I'd say Larry King, because who knows what that guy's going to say.

[1:14:18] Oh, man.

[1:14:19] Does not know where he is.

[1:14:21] I don't know what's going in it, what's coming out of that mouth or what's going in his ears.

[1:14:25] So, yeah.

[1:14:25] There was a, I can't remember who the interviewer was, but it was on, it was on like the Today

[1:14:30] Show where somebody was interviewing Anya Taylor-Joy and they're like, so you're going

[1:14:34] to be playing Joni Mitchell on a biopic.

[1:14:36] Now you're also playing Princess Peach.

[1:14:39] How are those two people similar?

[1:14:41] I saw this.

[1:14:42] And the look on Anya Taylor-Joy's face where she's like, okay, this is go time.

[1:14:47] We've got to figure this out.

[1:14:48] I've got to do this.

[1:14:49] That's a good question.

[1:14:50] It's part of my job to pretend like this isn't wild.

[1:14:53] Pretend this isn't a stupid question.

[1:14:56] She's like, they're both singular.

[1:14:58] Yeah.

[1:14:59] No, that's a good answer.

[1:15:00] Yeah, so, I mean, maybe if we were interviewed by Anya Taylor-Joy,

[1:15:07] she could take

[1:15:07] some of that experience

[1:15:09] of

[1:15:09] oh Jennifer Lawrence

[1:15:11] my mistake

[1:15:11] she's my favorite

[1:15:12] that was a great

[1:15:14] you saw the actors

[1:15:15] on Actors

[1:15:15] that she did

[1:15:16] yes

[1:15:16] yeah she was

[1:15:17] she was like

[1:15:17] really like

[1:15:18] needling

[1:15:19] DiCaprio

[1:15:21] oh I love it so much

[1:15:23] yeah

[1:15:23] how do you see

[1:15:23] I haven't seen that

[1:15:24] how do you see it

[1:15:24] YouTube

[1:15:25] oh okay

[1:15:26] I think yeah

[1:15:26] it was for Variety

[1:15:27] or something

[1:15:28] and she was

[1:15:28] like specifically

[1:15:29] saying how great

[1:15:31] it was

[1:15:31] that he

[1:15:32] had a teenage daughter

[1:15:33] and how he looked

[1:15:34] so good

[1:15:34] having a teenage daughter

[1:15:36] it's like you're online enough to know what you're doing ma'am no it's like dicaprio like

[1:15:42] his expressions were just like it's like eyes would like like micro widen and he's like i don't

[1:15:49] know how to respond to any of this i'm trying to maintain my like usual level of like enigma

[1:15:55] enigma yeah the artist behind return to exactly

[1:16:00] oh that's on his doing it playlist he apparently listens to all uh according to stories

[1:16:07] but on headphones right yeah yeah on headphones yeah yeah i don't i don't know that she would

[1:16:12] get good answers out of me because i'd be so discombobulated and thrown off but it would

[1:16:17] be a great interview yeah just for like uh you'd enjoy it yeah um it's a story you know because

[1:16:23] that's your kink to be put on the spot by jennifer lawrence yeah i mean kind of here's uh here's

[1:16:29] another question. Oh, okay, sure.

[1:16:31] I apologize. Thank you for

[1:16:33] writing in. So we have no context.

[1:16:35] We could be answering

[1:16:37] this all wrong. I looked all over.

[1:16:39] If I may have disappeared for the

[1:16:41] end part of Stuart's synopsis,

[1:16:43] it was because I was desperately trying to find

[1:16:45] the original letters. I apologize.

[1:16:47] Desperately seeking Susan if Susan wrote

[1:16:49] this letter and asked this question. Here we go.

[1:16:51] It goes like this. Elliot's book,

[1:16:53] Joke Farming, is available

[1:16:55] now. Thank you for doing that plug for me.

[1:16:57] Dan and Stuart, if you were to write

[1:16:59] a similarly titled book what would you be farming elliot what would you farm if not jokes i'll tell

[1:17:05] you right off the bat chickens all right guys what would you farm like here's the thing like

[1:17:11] i was thinking about this and i was like am i very boring and limited am i the asshole

[1:17:18] am i boring and limited because i felt like what i think i could write a good book about is

[1:17:25] farming the like wheat among the chaff

[1:17:30] of like things that are considered bad movies,

[1:17:32] like the interesting stuff out there

[1:17:35] within stuff that's usually dismissed

[1:17:39] because there's other stuff I can do.

[1:17:41] Like I do a lot of cooking.

[1:17:45] I do a lot of drawing,

[1:17:46] but I don't know if I can write a good book

[1:17:48] about those things.

[1:17:49] That's what I was thinking about.

[1:17:51] I bet you could.

[1:17:52] It just takes the energy, the motivation,

[1:17:55] The time, the discipline.

[1:17:56] So maybe you could.

[1:17:57] Classic joke construct.

[1:17:59] That's why I wrote the book.

[1:18:01] Convincing yourself of something.

[1:18:04] Yeah, I feel like I'd write a book about power brokers or some shit.

[1:18:09] JK, JK.

[1:18:10] Let's give a serious answer.

[1:18:12] I don't understand.

[1:18:14] Yeah, burn.

[1:18:14] You'll understand when you read your own joke book.

[1:18:20] To give a serious answer, I feel like.

[1:18:23] form of insults but i don't know what he's actually saying i feel like uh i could write a book about

[1:18:30] building a community within like a nerdy subculture either through like a gaming hobby

[1:18:38] or something like that or at a bar because that's i'm kind of drawn to community building

[1:18:43] if they asked me i could write a book yeah um hey let's move on why not sure two recommendations

[1:18:53] movies that we've seen and enjoyed um i'm gonna give this is gonna be a qualified recommendation

[1:19:02] rare for dan a qualified recommendation i saw this um at a weird wednesday screening citizen

[1:19:10] kane it was a little movie called pajama party and uh over the last several months

[1:19:18] uh they've been screening one a month the beach party series okay uh with annette funicello and

[1:19:25] frankie avalon um and this is sort of later into the series the frankie avalon it has a cameo in

[1:19:32] it but the uh the lead the male lead is actually tommy kirk in this one it's uh the lesser avalon

[1:19:39] yeah yeah and uh tommy kirk but like i had been like my friend kirby was like you i'm i'm seeing

[1:19:45] these movies I'm like why why I know this is not the case but I'm imagining the pink ghost from

[1:19:51] the Nintendo games yeah yeah uh I mean is he a ghost what is he if he's not a ghost I mean he's

[1:19:57] like a hunger spirit I guess yeah exactly I went to see this and I was delighted by how like the

[1:20:04] jokes were so fast and dumb that it bordered on surrealism and it felt honestly like it was a

[1:20:13] zucker abrams zucker style parody movie except they were parodying it's like there's no like

[1:20:19] straight genre of beach party movie that they're parodying it's just like it feels like a parody

[1:20:25] for something that doesn't exist the caveat that i mentioned before is uh buster keaton is in this

[1:20:31] movie i was gonna ask if that was the one buster keaton he is playing an indigenous character yeah

[1:20:36] And it is a 1960s version of a Native American character.

[1:20:43] It is sensitive.

[1:20:45] I would say it is not done with any overt malice, but it is certainly a cartoon stereotype.

[1:20:52] I remember reading the book, The Films of Buster Keaton, and getting to this one.

[1:20:56] I've never seen it, but getting to this one and being like, wait, what?

[1:21:00] There's one very funny scene he has that has nothing to do with him playing a Native character.

[1:21:05] And but otherwise, I think if you chose to watch this, you could easily just fast forward through any scenes with him if it bothered you because he is extraneous to the plot.

[1:21:16] But it is a very zany movie.

[1:21:18] It is a movie about Tommy Kirk is a Martian.

[1:21:21] He's like the advanced man for an invasion.

[1:21:25] And Don Rickles is up on Mars, like just like heckling him.

[1:21:28] Sounds pretty great.

[1:21:29] And, you know, there's.

[1:21:31] Don Rickles, he normally doesn't heckle people.

[1:21:34] Yeah.

[1:21:35] There's a wacky biker gang.

[1:21:37] Eventually, the titular pajama party happens,

[1:21:39] and Annette Bonicello sings a song

[1:21:41] about there being a pajama party.

[1:21:42] Love it.

[1:21:43] It's just very silly.

[1:21:45] I feel like we are due for a parody

[1:21:47] of a beach party movie, right?

[1:21:49] Back to the beach, back in...

[1:21:51] When we were kids, yeah.

[1:21:52] Yeah, we're due for it.

[1:21:53] I don't think anyone remembers these movies exist.

[1:21:55] I think if you did it now,

[1:21:56] people would not know it was a parody,

[1:21:57] which might work in its favor.

[1:21:58] Yeah.

[1:21:59] They just think it was a weird movie.

[1:22:00] But I think, Dan,

[1:22:02] that it makes me sad to hear

[1:22:05] that you're like this movie is hilarious except for the scenes with one of the pure comic geniuses

[1:22:09] of film i know poor guy but like it was it's a lot of funny stupid gags and also watching it i'm like

[1:22:15] oh this is like really the precursor to like all of the more overt 80s sex comedies that eventually

[1:22:23] were made like this is the like innocent silly version of something like hard bodies yeah yeah

[1:22:30] Yeah, screwballs, et cetera.

[1:22:32] Anyway.

[1:22:33] Miracle Beach.

[1:22:34] Miracle Mile?

[1:22:37] That's what I'm talking about.

[1:22:38] I am going to recommend,

[1:22:40] I'm going to recommend,

[1:22:41] I guess, let's call it a qualified recommendation.

[1:22:43] Not really.

[1:22:43] I'm going to recommend a movie

[1:22:44] that Dan and I recently hosted a screening of

[1:22:47] at the Nighthawk Cinema.

[1:22:50] We were lucky enough to host a screening

[1:22:53] invited by past guest, Christina Cacioppo.

[1:22:56] Part of her Ridiculous Sublime series.

[1:22:59] If not the top movie programmer in America.

[1:23:02] She's great.

[1:23:03] And her series, Ridiculous Sublime, is such a treat.

[1:23:07] If you live in New York and you have a chance to go see any of these movies,

[1:23:12] it's such just like a fun time at the movies.

[1:23:15] It's always packed.

[1:23:16] People are super into it.

[1:23:17] It's really fun.

[1:23:18] And we got to host a screening of Swordfish from 2001,

[1:23:22] starring Hugh Jackman, John Travolta, Halle Berry, Don Cheadle, et al.

[1:23:28] Mm-hmm.

[1:23:29] At all?

[1:23:30] How'd they get him?

[1:23:32] Is he Weird Al's brother?

[1:23:35] This is a movie I had never seen,

[1:23:37] and so I didn't really have any context

[1:23:40] other than I remember the trailers being ridiculous,

[1:23:42] and it was that kind of like new metal era of action movies.

[1:23:47] Yeah.

[1:23:47] And I was really excited to get to see it.

[1:23:50] That's the sort of thing that was so fun.

[1:23:51] It's so fun to see it on the big screen.

[1:23:53] I think Dan has mentioned, but as I get older,

[1:23:56] my window of nostalgia gets bigger,

[1:23:58] And it envelops things that at the time I thought I was too good for.

[1:24:04] And now I'm like, no, give me more of this.

[1:24:06] Can you make this sequence more stylized but harder to pay attention to?

[1:24:10] Can you do a post-Matrix 360 bullet time explosion?

[1:24:15] And that explosion at the time was like the most expensive effect they had ever done.

[1:24:20] And in the movie, it's kind of worthless.

[1:24:22] So Fish is the one, right, where he gives the talk about how Thomas Jefferson murdered a man.

[1:24:28] which is completely made up.

[1:24:30] There's not even a legend it's referring to,

[1:24:32] but there's a page on the Monticello website

[1:24:37] that addresses that rumor

[1:24:39] and says, no, this never happened.

[1:24:40] Yeah, I think it was a lot of fun to host.

[1:24:43] It was fun to host with my buddy Dan,

[1:24:45] and I think it's like, I don't know,

[1:24:47] if you have an affection for that era of cinema,

[1:24:50] which I feel like I'm discovering

[1:24:52] I do have an affection for it, check it out.

[1:24:54] I mentioned that that was false in our intro,

[1:24:57] which led to a big laugh when that moment came in the thing.

[1:25:02] And I also, Elliot, I mentioned that, of course, at The Daily Show,

[1:25:06] that was one of the top, like, meeting-ending videos that we would watch.

[1:25:11] Was in hacking, yeah.

[1:25:12] Was Hugh Jackman doing hacking in Sports-ish.

[1:25:14] That sequence is so great.

[1:25:15] It's so funny, yeah.

[1:25:17] He is, like, one step away from, like, an Elton John impersonator

[1:25:20] playing, like, the piano standing up.

[1:25:24] I think I'm going to recommend a goofy movie then.

[1:25:27] It's called a goofy movie.

[1:25:29] No, I'm just kidding.

[1:25:29] Oh, God.

[1:25:29] I'm teasing the audience.

[1:25:31] We need to do a goofy movie.

[1:25:33] We need to do a goofy movie in some way.

[1:25:35] We just keep edging the audience, the promises of goofy movie.

[1:25:38] Your mention of Abram Zuckerabram's movies, Dan, reminded me of a movie I finally got to see recently, which is the new Naked Gun movie starring Liam Neeson, which I really enjoyed a lot.

[1:25:49] And I was like, this movie pulls off being a Naked Gun movie, and it was just very refreshing to see a comedy where it was just like, shovel in the jokes.

[1:25:58] Shovel in more jokes.

[1:25:59] You've got to pay attention if you're going to catch all the jokes.

[1:26:02] And I thought it was really funny.

[1:26:03] As even the original Naked Gun movies do, I kind of got worn out by the end of it because I don't care what's happening.

[1:26:09] It's such a perfect deployment of Danny Houston.

[1:26:12] Danny Houston is so good in it.

[1:26:15] His line about his tummy hurts is so fucking funny.

[1:26:19] He's so funny.

[1:26:19] And Pam Anderson is so funny.

[1:26:21] And the part where she is jazz, like doing jazz skating is so funny.

[1:26:25] And so it was one of the few comedies I've seen recently where I was like laughing out loud throughout.

[1:26:31] So I thought they just did a great job of pulling off a Naked Gun style movie instead of doing a like half-assed kind of like referential version of one.

[1:26:38] So hats off to the makers of the Naked Gun movie.

[1:26:40] If you like those kinds of movies, you'll enjoy this.

[1:26:44] Well, that's great recommendations.

[1:26:47] And before we wrap up, by now you've heard all of the reasons to become a MaxFun member and support our show.

[1:26:53] So, please, if you are considering doing so, do it now before you forget.

[1:26:58] I have ADHD, so I know all about forgetting.

[1:27:01] My brain does not work.

[1:27:03] I go into rooms.

[1:27:04] I'm like, why am I in this room?

[1:27:05] I've forgotten.

[1:27:06] That's like a thing, though, right, where, like, your brain stops remembering.

[1:27:09] Yeah, it's called memento.

[1:27:11] Yeah.

[1:27:11] So, anyway, what was I talking about?

[1:27:14] I forgot.

[1:27:15] Maximumfun.org slash join.

[1:27:17] Yeah, you get tons of bonus content

[1:27:18] and the knowledge that you're making a difference

[1:27:20] and supporting media that you like.

[1:27:21] Only $5 a month to start to join at the lowest level.

[1:27:25] And you can do that at Maximumfun.org slash join.

[1:27:29] That is Maximumfun.org slash join.

[1:27:31] Thank you to Maximum Fun.

[1:27:33] Thank you to our producer.

[1:27:35] He goes by the name Howell Doughty on the internet.

[1:27:38] His actual name is Alex Smith.

[1:27:40] He does a great job for us.

[1:27:42] Thank you, Alex, for all that you do.

[1:27:44] But that's it for The Flophouse.

[1:27:46] I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:27:47] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:27:49] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:27:50] Bye.

[1:27:51] Do you need binoculars or opera glasses?

[1:28:04] If I was at a normal distance from the thing.

[1:28:08] Or bun-oculars, which is when it's a rabbit.

[1:28:14] Or buns, nocculars, when it's a tight butt.

[1:28:18] Yeah, it's a butt.

[1:28:19] You use them to look at butts.

[1:28:21] Yeah, that actually makes a lot of sense.

[1:28:22] Very Leisure Suit Larry of us.

[1:28:25] Yep.

[1:28:27] That's what the patent said.

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