The Flop House: Episode #107 - Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

[0:00] On this episode of the Flophouse, we review Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance.

[0:08] Oh, you spilled it!

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:40] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:42] And I'm Elliot Kalin, as himself.

[0:44] Hey!

[0:45] Hey, what's up, man?

[0:46] Hey!

[0:47] We're doing a podcast.

[0:48] Man, you're smiling. You're always surprised.

[0:50] You're always shocked that we're doing a podcast.

[0:52] It seems weird, because I've spent the last 15 minutes setting up all the equipment.

[0:56] Yeah, who could have warned you?

[1:00] That it was to have a podcast.

[1:02] And we watched a movie before that, so you'd assume.

[1:06] And we also weren't doing that just for funsies.

[1:08] And we also made plans weeks ahead of time.

[1:10] Weird.

[1:11] Man, I gotta start getting control of my life.

[1:15] I am spiraling out.

[1:16] I think the start would be to put some pants on.

[1:18] I mean, the good thing is I'm apparently doing everything on autopilot.

[1:21] Like, I'm just doing all this stuff, even though I don't know why.

[1:24] I guess that's good.

[1:26] Is this the DanCast, your weekly therapy podcast?

[1:29] It's different than our traditional DuckCast.

[1:31] I think we established that I don't know what's going on.

[1:33] That's true.

[1:35] Why don't you explain, Elliot?

[1:37] Well, for those of you listening for the first time, because every episode is somebody's first time.

[1:41] Oh, yeah.

[1:42] This is the flop house.

[1:43] They're getting fucked while they're listening to this.

[1:45] Whoa, whoa.

[1:46] We're, what, a minute and a half in?

[1:48] Give it some time.

[1:49] All right, sorry.

[1:50] You gotta fucking tease it a little bit.

[1:53] You gotta make sure it's cool, and then you slip in the whole swearing.

[1:56] Okay.

[1:57] Yeah, exactly.

[1:58] I can only assume that that seemed like the way you said it, sexualized it a little bit.

[2:03] So for those of you just joining us for the first episode, if you've never heard before, this is the flop house,

[2:09] a podcast starring three friends in real life who are also friends on a podcast.

[2:15] And they watch a movie that in some ways they flop, critically, financially, or just bad.

[2:20] Who cares?

[2:21] And then they talk about it afterwards.

[2:23] Yeah.

[2:24] And tonight we watch a little movie called Ghost Rider, Spirit of Vengeance.

[2:29] I mean, financially, it was a big movie, right?

[2:31] It was a big hit financially.

[2:32] Critically, not so much.

[2:33] I mean, it stars a flop house fave.

[2:36] That's right, Idris Elba.

[2:38] Boom.

[2:40] You guys were fucking practicing that in the bathroom, weren't you?

[2:44] Among other things.

[2:45] Although, to be fair, Idris Elba actually was in a couple of flop house movies.

[2:48] He was, yeah.

[2:49] He was in Prom Night and Obsessed.

[2:51] But it also stars our real flop house favorite, Mr. Nicholas Cage.

[2:56] Yeah.

[2:57] So Cage-o-philes out there, you can check this off on your Cage calendar.

[3:01] Which is like an advent calendar, but little Nicholas Cage is always behind the doors.

[3:05] Yep.

[3:06] You flip over the month.

[3:08] You flip it over to August, and lo and behold, you reveal right there, Ghost Rider.

[3:13] DVD copy of Honeymoon in Vegas.

[3:15] Weird.

[3:17] Dan, why don't you pull up on your screen there.

[3:20] How many Nicholas Cage movies have we reviewed?

[3:23] I have no screen, and I don't have that.

[3:26] Way to ruin the illusion.

[3:27] Let's just say 400,000.

[3:29] We've done 400,000 episodes.

[3:31] Of Nicholas Cage movies.

[3:33] Yes.

[3:34] Also, in our sister podcast, we've mentioned Before the Cage House.

[3:38] We just talked Nick Cage.

[3:40] And the episode of the Star Trek, The Cage.

[3:43] Yeah, yeah.

[3:44] Of the Star Trek, I call it.

[3:47] I turn into a grandparent.

[3:49] That is the first sign of age, is when you start putting the in front of things that don't belong.

[3:53] So this is a sequel of sorts, right?

[3:55] It is a sequel.

[3:57] Literally.

[3:58] Not of sorts.

[3:59] The sort that it is a sequel.

[4:01] This is a sequel to the hit film, Ghost Rider.

[4:03] Sure.

[4:04] In which Nicholas Cage first introduced us.

[4:06] Played a ghost that rode.

[4:07] Yep.

[4:08] That's, I guess, the simplest part of it.

[4:09] He's actually not a ghost.

[4:10] What?

[4:11] He's a man with a demon trapped inside of him that turns him into a flaming skull-headed biker monster.

[4:17] Yep.

[4:18] Who fights crime and wants to root out evil.

[4:20] You've got to say that sounds like the best thing ever.

[4:22] Well, he punishes evildoers.

[4:23] Uh-huh.

[4:24] The last movie, which is recapped in the very beginning of this movie after a short fight scene between Idris Elba and some Euro-trash types over a kid.

[4:32] Uh-huh.

[4:33] In the last movie, Nicholas Cage.

[4:35] A very Creole Idris Elba.

[4:38] A Creole.

[4:39] Well, he's French.

[4:40] But he also could be possibly like Haitian.

[4:43] Sure.

[4:44] You know, some other country that speaks French.

[4:46] But his name is Moreau.

[4:48] He speaks French.

[4:49] He's obsessed with wine.

[4:50] As we'll find out later in the movie.

[4:52] But Nicholas Cage was a daredevil stunt biker.

[4:55] Johnny Blaze.

[4:56] Uh-huh.

[4:57] And he should have known from his fire-based last name that he would turn into a fire demon.

[5:01] But no, he didn't.

[5:02] Finding out his father, also a stunt biker, is dying.

[5:06] He sells his soul to the devil and is turned into Ghost Rider.

[5:10] His spirit of vengeance.

[5:11] Here played by TV's Kieran Hines.

[5:14] What does he play on TV?

[5:16] Well, he's in that new Sigourney Weaver TV show.

[5:18] Oh, Political Animals?

[5:19] Yeah, and he was also Julius Caesar in Rome.

[5:22] Okay.

[5:23] There you go.

[5:24] There's a devil in this.

[5:26] He's replaced Peter Fonda from the first Ghost Rider movie.

[5:32] Uh-huh.

[5:33] Maybe they morphed into each other.

[5:35] Well, he also replaced him in Easy Rider 2, Future World 2, Westworld 3, and many other Peter Fonda movies.

[5:41] He's like Tom Behringer's Treat Williams is what you're saying.

[5:44] Exactly, yeah.

[5:45] Uly's Gold 2, The Search for Uly's Gold.

[5:47] But, uh, so he sold his soul to the devil.

[5:51] Enough said.

[5:52] So there's this kid that the devil is chasing after, and we don't know why.

[5:57] What's going on?

[5:58] The devil's henchmen are all over this kid.

[6:00] And the kid is with his mom, who's a single mom.

[6:02] They're in Eastern Europe.

[6:03] We know this because the words Eastern Europe show up on the screen at the very beginning.

[6:07] Can't get more specific than that.

[6:09] That seems like a pretty wide swath.

[6:11] Eventually they're somewhere in Turkey.

[6:13] I mean, I pretty much assumed it was Eastern Europe from the amount of eye shadow our leading lady was wearing.

[6:18] And also the fact that the entire movie looks like it was shot in cheap Eastern European locations.

[6:24] And all the henchmen are wearing leather jackets.

[6:26] Yeah.

[6:27] I kind of like the fact that they copped to it taking place in Eastern Europe, since it obviously was shot there.

[6:32] Right.

[6:33] It's like Rumble in the Bronx that was shot in Toronto.

[6:36] That's why you had those snow-capped peaks rising over the Bronx.

[6:39] All the dune buggies racing through the streets.

[6:42] Ending up on golf courses.

[6:45] Or how Vicky Cristina Barcelona was actually filmed inside a volcano.

[6:49] It is weird how there's just lava oozing behind every scene.

[6:54] Constantly, yeah.

[6:55] Although there was sexual tension, but in fact it was hot magma.

[6:58] That's what the woodman said it represented.

[7:01] That's what all his fans call him.

[7:03] And I'm talking, of course, of Woody Harrelson.

[7:05] Star of Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

[7:09] He played Barcelona.

[7:12] Yeah, he played the title character of Barcelona.

[7:15] Barcelona Jones, the detective, who Vicky hires to catch Cristina after Cristina runs off with the drug money.

[7:23] So they're after this kid, and Idris Elba approaches Johnny Blaze, who is living in a shack in the middle of nowhere, and tells him,

[7:35] I know you have a demon inside you that turns you into a motorcycle madman.

[7:40] Why is this movie called Motorcycle Madman?

[7:44] It would be pretty great if it was.

[7:46] And I am in desperate need of a motorcycle madman.

[7:49] If you help me find this kid, I will take you to a secret monk labyrinth where they will pull the demon out of you and you'll be safe.

[7:56] Your curse will be over.

[7:57] It's a pretty good deal.

[7:59] Yeah, and Nicolas Cage does a lot of shaking his head and acting like he's a drug fiend, and then says, okay, I'll do it.

[8:04] And then turns into the Ghost Rider as the villains catch up with the kid and his mom.

[8:09] Right as they're in the midst of kidnapping, literally, as the kid has been knocked unconscious and is taking a nap.

[8:15] Not after putting up quite a fight.

[8:18] He puts up quite, yeah.

[8:19] The kid and his mom are pretty much almost a match for four Eastern European henchmen,

[8:23] which is pretty impressive or just disappointing if it's the henchmen we're talking about.

[8:28] So the arrival of a giant flaming demon kind of tips the scales a little?

[8:32] Not that much, actually.

[8:34] And they don't seem that phased by it, even after he uses a magic fire chain to turn three of the henchmen into literally ash.

[8:40] Their bodies burn up in an instant.

[8:42] Yeah, it's like they're vampires.

[8:43] And one guy, Ghost Rider, performs his penance stare on, which returns the pain the gazer has caused tenfold to, I guess, also turn a guy into fire dust.

[8:54] But then the main henchman bad guy, whose name is Kerrigan, after Nancy Kerrigan, the ice skater, shoots Ghost Rider with like a giant, what is it, like a cannon shell?

[9:05] It's like a bazooka or something.

[9:06] And Ghost Rider's kind of knocked out, and they take the kid and drive away.

[9:11] Yeah, because that's his weakness in the comics, right?

[9:14] He's being hit with bazooka shells.

[9:17] It's a pretty specific superhero weakness.

[9:19] You can drop an atom bomb on him, he's fine, but a bazooka shell can't take it.

[9:22] That's why Ghost Rider's main supervillain was Bazooka Joe.

[9:25] Yeah.

[9:26] Also a comic book hero.

[9:28] Bazooka Joe was killing people and stealing their eyes to see if they fit where his eye was missing.

[9:34] That's like if Neil Gaiman wrote a Bazooka Joe comic.

[9:38] And if you pull down Mort's turtleneck, all you see is a horrifically scarred face.

[9:45] And he has sharp demon teeth.

[9:47] So Ghost Rider and this mom in Idris Elba are on the chase to find this kid and to stop the bad guys, because it turns out this kid is the son of the devil.

[9:56] So it could have been.

[9:57] It could have been.

[10:00] gold catch that kid

[10:01] it could've been called ghostwriter catch that kid

[10:04] which would have been a pretty great title except it would have meant at some point in the movie

[10:09] he would have had to have said

[10:10] catch that kid

[10:12] the devil's name is Rourke it turns out that he wants to

[10:17] the devil is inside of a weak human shell that is literally burning up from the inside

[10:20] it can't contain

[10:21] the unholy power of the devil

[10:23] and so he wants to transfer his soul into the kid's body

[10:27] the kid's body being stronger

[10:28] because it's half demon half human

[10:30] but also already has demon powers in it

[10:33] uh... which allow him to turn off the ghostwriter element inside of

[10:37] Johnny Blaze

[10:38] now there's a lot of people getting driving around back and forth

[10:42] there's a big fight scene at a bad guy

[10:45] military installation

[10:47] where ghostwriter gets into a giant chainsaw crane

[10:50] which goes up in flames and he's just slamming it down on top of people

[10:55] and I think he's laughing, he's totally getting it off. He is loving it. Ghostwriter is loving it.

[11:00] in the comics he's a pretty stoic

[11:02] figure

[11:03] and he doesn't seem to get much pleasure. Implacable. Implacable. Doesn't seem to even have much of a

[11:06] personality

[11:08] but here

[11:08] I guess there's a lot of Nicolas Cage coming through because he's like

[11:11] wisecracking at times. Yeah, there's definitely some classic Cage moments in this movie. Yeah, he enjoys

[11:16] there's one scene where Johnny Cage is, Johnny Cage, Johnny Blaze

[11:20] is riding his motorcycle straight towards the camera

[11:23] while fighting the urge to turn into ghostwriter and then eventually succumbing to it

[11:27] and it's like the climax of the movie basically for all us cage-o-philes. Yes, except it's like

[11:31] twenty five minutes in

[11:32] but it's basically, it looks like a scene from Kung Fu Hustle like it's really

[11:35] cartoony

[11:36] his eyes are disappearing into skull holes and he's like

[11:41] well he's also shaking his head like Bruce Campbell in one of the

[11:45] evil dead movies trying to keep himself from transforming fully into a

[11:50] Yeah, it's basically, yeah, it's like that or like Jim Carrey in The Mask. Yeah, in The Maxx.

[11:55] The Maxx.

[11:56] That's Popeye

[11:57] who just saw The Maxx. Ah, I just saw that movie, The Maxx.

[12:00] That wasn't a good Popeye at all.

[12:02] No, I'm gonna do this thing where he says, you saved it, you saved it.

[12:06] Now I'm gonna look over here.

[12:07] Pluto, move out of the way, you can't see the screen.

[12:09] Now, well, I think that he's...

[12:11] That's one of the greatest things about the Popeye cartoons is just like the Popeye has the need to

[12:15] narrate everything. The Popeye?

[12:17] Was he the Batman all of a sudden?

[12:19] He narrates everything that happens on the screen. The legend of the Popeye.

[12:22] I'm gonna go over here now.

[12:23] How do you like this?

[12:24] It was great because you had, what was his name?

[12:27] Mercer? I can't remember the name of the guy who did Popeye's voice

[12:30] who I think was just one of the animators at the Fleischer Studios.

[12:33] But like, so they would just shove in dialogue when Popeye's mouth wasn't moving.

[12:37] And just like, yeah, I guess I'll go over here. Oh, not much over there. What is there?

[12:40] And like, those are the funniest jokes in the whole thing.

[12:44] But anyway,

[12:46] So that happens a bunch.

[12:47] So we'll talk more about that when we finally watch the Popeye Rises,

[12:52] the final of the Popeye trilogy.

[12:55] But there, where were we?

[12:57] Oh, yeah. So there's some ghostwriters enjoying himself a lot.

[13:00] But Johnny Cage, again, Johnny Blaze does not like it.

[13:04] I'll just call him Nicolas Cage.

[13:05] You can call him Johnny Cage.

[13:07] I mean, he is the hero of the Mortal Kombat universe.

[13:09] That's true. Or the avant-garde musician.

[13:12] So they eventually, they capture the kid, they catch that kid, as the title says.

[13:16] And they take him to a secret monk labyrinth.

[13:20] It's like cave dwellings or Mos Eisley or, as Stuart, you said,

[13:25] it's like the set for Eternia from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.

[13:28] Certainly there's a lot of Vaseline on the lens.

[13:30] Yeah, it's all very, it's filtered through red colors.

[13:33] And they're with these monks, one of them played by...

[13:36] Fan favorite, Christopher Lambert, or Christophe Lambert, in his native tongue.

[13:41] He has words tattooed all over him, like the guy in that one story in Qui-Don.

[13:45] And they are supposed to do a ritual that's going to remove the devil from inside the kid's body.

[13:50] So we meet a bunch of crazy monks with tattoos all over them.

[13:53] And they look like they live in a Jawa village, but they're not Jawas.

[13:56] Jawas. Jawas. Jawas with jowls.

[14:02] We meet these guys, and of course, they're fucking bad guys.

[14:05] Yeah, they're bad dudes.

[14:06] They act like bad guys.

[14:07] They are going to kill the kid because it's the only way to, they say, to stop him.

[14:11] But they're like, Christopher Lambert is smiling while he's doing, while he's saying it.

[14:15] Also, right before this, Idris Elba manages to release the curse from Johnny Blaze.

[14:20] He does this by giving him a piece of host or bread to, you know, it's not host.

[14:25] It's just bread to represent the body of Christ.

[14:27] They drink 2,000 year old wine, the best kind of wine.

[14:30] Idris Elba talks for a long time about how much he loves wine.

[14:33] And then he basically, you basically sweat out the ghost writer the same way you would sweat out a heroin addiction.

[14:38] He locks Johnny Blaze in a room and Johnny Blaze just kind of DTs and hallucinates until he doesn't have a demon inside of him anymore.

[14:45] But that's when they find out, oh, the monks want to kill the kid by chopping his head off.

[14:49] That's the kind of time when you'd want to have a demon inside you, right?

[14:52] You better believe it.

[14:53] Luckily, someone else comes to the kid's rescue.

[14:56] Who is it? It's Kerrigan, who was killed but brought back to life by the devil as classic ghost writer villain Blackout.

[15:03] Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't the bad guy in the original ghost writer movie Blackout?

[15:08] That was Blackheart.

[15:10] That was Blackheart.

[15:10] The son of Mephisto.

[15:12] Okay, so this guy is completely unrelated.

[15:14] Completely unrelated, except in the way that all the ghost writer villains are related because they're all kind of crappy.

[15:20] Don't they all look like ninjas or something?

[15:22] No, you're thinking of Death Watch, the ninja mob boss with long hair.

[15:27] There's also...

[15:27] Okay, so was he in this movie?

[15:29] He's not.

[15:30] Neither is Vengeance, the anti-hero version of Ghost Writer.

[15:33] What about Snowblind?

[15:34] Snowblind is not in it.

[15:35] Is he a ninja?

[15:36] I don't think so.

[15:38] Not all of Ghost Writer's villains are ninjas.

[15:40] Well, all of them have names that sound like G.I. Joe villains, apparently.

[15:44] Yes, well...

[15:45] Which thus means they could all be ninjas.

[15:47] Okay, good point.

[15:48] Touché.

[15:48] Mate and checkmate.

[15:51] So, does the bad guy use any shurikens or katanas?

[15:55] He uses neither.

[15:56] He uses his hands because now he has the power to decay things and rot them just by touching them.

[16:00] Okay.

[16:01] And there's some neat moments with that.

[16:03] There's a funny part that Dan liked where he's driving in a stolen ambulance and he's trying to find food he can eat and the food keeps crumbling to dust in his hands and then he finds a Twinkie and it's okay.

[16:16] Oh, yeah, he did that part.

[16:18] Look, I'm not saying it's not a hacky joke.

[16:21] I'm saying that it went by very quickly and it livened up what had at that point become a very dull movie.

[16:27] Okay, good point, good point.

[16:29] So, Blackout saves the day, except he's a villain, so he kidnaps the kid.

[16:34] He catches that kid, as the title says, then he takes him to another totally different stupid location where the devil's going to hold this ceremony to put his soul inside of the kid, just like Ghostbusters 2, basically.

[16:47] Blackout is that guy's stingo.

[16:52] And I can never remember the name of that actor, so I always call him by his character in Sophie's Choice.

[16:57] Not, uh, wait, wait, uh, I don't know.

[17:00] He was also in Ali McBeal.

[17:01] Milosh or something.

[17:02] Yeah, Milosh.

[17:02] That's his character's name, but not the actor's name.

[17:04] Wait, it's not the same name.

[17:05] I don't know. He's the guy from Dragon Slayer. He was the kid in Dragon Slayer.

[17:09] Was he? Oh, yeah.

[17:10] Wasn't he in Ali McBeal or something?

[17:12] Yeah, I just said he was in Ali McBeal.

[17:13] Oh, wait, he did?

[17:14] Yes.

[17:15] Okay, so his name's Milosh.

[17:16] It's not. The character's name was Milosh. He's not named that.

[17:20] And he's not Bego.

[17:21] No.

[17:22] Bego's a different character.

[17:22] Bego lives in a painting.

[17:23] Bego's the Carpathian.

[17:27] Milosh is a bad guy, too, but he's a henchman. He's the Renfield to Bego.

[17:32] Okay, so we've talked about Milosh.

[17:34] So that was, and by the way, I just want to say this is a memory blast from the past.

[17:38] That was one of those characters, because I saw Ghostbusters 2 in the theaters.

[17:40] I was probably about six or seven.

[17:43] And I was shocked later to find out that that was not that actor's real accent.

[17:48] That he did not have this ridiculous, dripping Eastern European fake accent.

[17:53] That reminds me of when I was very young, and my brother was telling now my sister-in-law,

[18:02] at the time his girlfriend, that Harpo Marx was not a mute in real life.

[18:06] And I said, and Chica wasn't Italian.

[18:11] Yes, these brothers, one of them wasn't Italian.

[18:15] These four brothers, one was Jewish, one was Italian,

[18:18] one was a mute elf of some kind, and the other was not funny.

[18:21] Yep.

[18:22] And then, of course, there's Gummo, who is not in the movies.

[18:24] But anyway, moving on.

[18:25] So they're at this bullshit ceremony where the devil's going to spit his soul into the boy.

[18:30] Our heroes run in with a bunch of guns that they took from the armory of the monks.

[18:35] They're shooting people up, shooting people down.

[18:37] They run in, and it turns out they're a little bit overpowered.

[18:42] Blackout and Idris Elba start a fight, and the devil is going to kill Nicolas Cage.

[18:47] And then the kid says, I have all the same power that you have, right, Dad?

[18:51] And the devil's like, yeah, that's true.

[18:53] And he goes, OK.

[18:54] What are you bringing up at this exact moment?

[18:55] This seems a strange time to remind me of that.

[18:57] And then the kid vomits fire into Nicolas.

[19:00] And Nicolas Cage goes, do it.

[19:01] The kid vomits fire into his mouth for about an hour.

[19:04] And Nicolas Cage becomes Ghost Rider again, slays all the bad guys.

[19:08] Yep, they all turn into ash.

[19:09] But uh-oh, the devil and the kid escape.

[19:12] There's a car chase.

[19:14] Yep.

[19:14] The Ghost Rider is jumping around from car to car.

[19:17] All the cars get crashed.

[19:18] Basically most of the trailer was cut from that sequence.

[19:20] From the car chase, yeah.

[19:21] Yeah.

[19:22] And also one shot where Ghost Rider is peeing fire,

[19:25] which I was very disappointed to learn was not a real scene.

[19:27] It's just the kid asks him what happens if you have to pee when you're Ghost Rider.

[19:32] Maybe a flashback.

[19:33] It's like a Family Guy swish pan to like,

[19:37] ah, remember the time you were Ghost Rider and you had to pee?

[19:39] Cut to guy peeing fire all over the place.

[19:42] And then Ghost Rider looks over his shoulder at the camera and nods as if like,

[19:46] yeah, you know it.

[19:48] I'm peeing fire.

[19:49] I'm doing it.

[19:51] Put him on the glass.

[19:52] You probably could have just imagined it, but here it is.

[19:54] Here it is.

[19:55] Ghost Rider does all these things.

[19:57] He finally, he pulls the devil out of a car crash.

[20:00] and then you're really getting into the micro

[20:02] whips him up with a chain so hard that he slams him down into hell

[20:07] uh huh where he turns into fire and dies or something?

[20:10] pretty much yeah the devil apparently can't take the fires of hell

[20:12] so wait a minute the devil may oh after saying that that was the worst deal he ever made

[20:16] so the devil made ghost rider way tougher than him himself

[20:21] yeah it's just like the old the old question the old question could god ever make a rock

[20:26] so heavy even god couldn't lift it because he can't be all powerful if he if he either way

[20:31] it's like the devil went out of his way to create a minion of hell

[20:35] who is way more powerful than the devil

[20:39] bad move huh on his part yeah because he's dead now

[20:43] and the kid and the kid looks like he's dead but then ghost rider

[20:47] using a power we've never seen before uses his skeletal hands with blue flame in it

[20:52] he just touched caresses the child's cheek and the child gets brought back to life

[20:55] that makes sense and the kid goes did we win and nicholas cage goes yes

[20:59] and then it snaps zooms into his face and he goes hell yes

[21:04] and that's the end of the movie and so the movie gets both sillier and more boring i feel like as

[21:11] it goes on it starts out at a very silly pitch but a fun pitch and then it gets kind of dull

[21:16] you know so thanks david goyer for that one i mean david goyer didn't direct it

[21:22] he was probably just he probably this was based on one phone call from david goyer right

[21:27] maybe yeah where he they said david can you name some ghost writer villains and he went uh there's

[21:32] blackout good done fine great didn't use blackout in the last one no use black heart great whatever

[21:39] we'll just wikipedia the rest what was the name of that's very similar to his process when directing

[21:44] blade 3 or blade trinity as it's called yeah here's one thing i gotta say about that uh

[21:51] super villain blade trinity no in this movie you mean blackout or rork the devil the blackout or

[21:58] black heart from the first the devil the devil or blackjack which is the thing you hit people with

[22:04] uh the devil sends like these like normal living henchmen to get this kid yeah and he keeps sending

[22:12] them even after he knows the ghost writer is on the case and then only after this one henchman

[22:19] dies does the guy uh the devil bring him back to life and give him these pestilence powers

[22:23] monster powers and it seems like uh why didn't you send someone supernatural to uh retrieve this

[22:32] package earlier on especially because i mean like i think that's probably an answer probably involves

[22:37] the production budget but yeah it's a good question why bother with the middleman why not

[22:41] just send the monsters right right from why don't you just show them and get that kid yeah why or

[22:45] catch that kid but also it shows it's a coin a phrase but also it shows what a shitty job ghost

[22:51] writer is doing through most of the movie well he's stymied by humans like he shows up he man

[22:57] he like gets shot at and like he can't be killed by anything but yet still the problem is ghost

[23:03] writer is very easily distracted yeah and numerous times the kid is in his clutches he could catch

[23:08] that kid right then but instead he like he like locks eyes with one henchman and takes a long time

[23:15] luxuriating and destroying him or he gets into that big chainsaw crane and is like just laughing

[23:21] his head off smashing people who don't matter set some shit on fire when he has a chain that he can

[23:26] attack people from the from a distance he can breathe fire he can pee fire there's no reason

[23:31] he ate some dude's bullets one time and then spit them back at him yeah i mean that's pretty good

[23:37] like why he really is a he doesn't know how to use his power properly he needs to be trained by a

[23:42] mentor let's say yeah but also he's very easily distracted like ghost writer should be on ritalin

[23:48] probably or maybe ghost writers like uh the greatest american hero he like lost the ghost

[23:52] writer manual and he just doesn't understand i think a lot of people would say ghost writer is

[23:56] our greatest american hero and he goes ghost writer george washington the greatest american

[24:01] hero at number three what about that guy who kills all the vampires and then peyton manning

[24:06] at number four peyton manning what about that vampire hunting president from all the movies

[24:09] you love abraham lincoln okay one never really hunted vampires two all joking aside yes greatest

[24:16] american in history but let's let's decide the point yeah ellie ellie didn't even want to sully

[24:20] his memory by including him in his joke list come on so as if lincoln suffered enough he was

[24:27] murdered let's just say when you say as a joke hasn't lincoln suffered enough let's remember

[24:31] he was killed by being shot in the head while enjoying a play so at least he was happy when

[24:36] it was a good play on earlier that day he had taken a carriage ride with mary todd and they'd

[24:41] started planning their life after his presidency so sad it's a real tragedy thanks for bringing

[24:46] us all down dan stewart that's no thanks for bringing us all down stewart i don't know i

[24:50] think your knowledge of history brought us all down yeah sorry about that if i could have just

[24:53] said yeah he's awesome vampire killing abilities and his gun acts that's what i was trying to set

[24:57] up all right fucked it up well he maybe he's number five after peyton manning sure uh so you

[25:03] mentioned when we were watching the movie that ghostwriter in this movie is basically some kind

[25:07] of a hulk he uh nicholas cage is constantly struggling to control the ghost and not let

[25:13] it out and it is a very hulk thing like when he's mad he starts ghosting and turning into a skull

[25:17] face yeah and uh it's not it's almost like i would have preferred somebody more boring to be the hero

[25:25] and then when he gets like the thing he's trying to to fight and hide inside is actually just

[25:31] actor nicholas cage that'd just be called cage rider yeah and he just turns it's that would be

[25:37] a pretty fantastic movie it was like josh hartnett and he has to unleash nicholas

[25:41] cage no josh hartnett knows how to emote quite a good deal well what if it was uh alex petty

[25:46] for the but also in the comics i believe it was that whenever innocent blood is shed

[25:53] johnny blazer dan catch the second ghostwriter becomes ghostwriter i don't think he could it

[25:58] was just like when he gets mad or like it's you know it's constantly fighting him i thought it was

[26:01] just when blood is shed so he didn't have to doesn't have to drink a lot of water all the time

[26:05] to keep his head from turning into a flame no i don't think that's something maybe rubbing ice

[26:10] cubes on his head he doesn't have to wrap his face in asbestos to keep the fire down to like

[26:16] cool cool mint gum so you're saying that ghostwriter shouldn't like uh shouldn't volunteer

[26:22] at a blood drive because they're certainly not it's gonna go crazy i mean maybe if it's a blood

[26:27] drive held at like a prison or like an evil evil corporation yeah but i could be wrong i thought i

[26:32] think that was the original thing but i could be wrong about that all right this but same way that

[26:37] who whatever knows fear burns at the touch of the man thing well which seems like talking about man

[26:43] thing now he's a different character who would have been a fantastic character in this i like

[26:47] i wish they had brought more marvel characters into this movie because they're kind of stingy

[26:51] with it they just have ghostwriter blackout jesus and like the devil who gives a shit about that guy

[26:56] bring all the midnight suns in morbius doctor strange blade hannibal king i guess if you're

[27:01] gonna put the devil why not just make him a fisto i thought he was mephisto in the last movie that's

[27:05] the thing played by peter fonda yeah and who was uh who was sam elliott in the other one

[27:12] and it's just like an old-timey mustachy mustache oh yeah he had a mustache yeah mustachy mustachy

[27:17] that was his name hey it's me a mustachio mustache how do you like my mustache and he

[27:26] rides a flaming horse he has a flaming organ grinder thing and a flaming monkey sure that

[27:32] collects flaming coins from flaming he is italian right yes yep and he throws a flaming pizza dough

[27:39] in the air spicy meatballs and everybody some of my flaming limoncello he throws a pepperoni slice

[27:45] and it cuts someone's head off oh he does see dan was just in italy so he knows italian stereotypes

[27:50] better than both of us yeah that's true uh he's wearing flaming uh he's wearing flaming loafers

[27:57] without socks on i don't think you were in italy what that's all you remembered um he has flaming

[28:07] gelato strike two yeah i think all of his vacation pictures were taken inside of a domino's

[28:12] so i think he just went to an olive garden i don't think he went to italy

[28:18] hospitality guys you went to the hospital oh my god

[28:24] yeah i had to get my flaming mustache treated okay so we've been talking a lot about ghost

[28:28] rider yeah kind of is it time to talk about some more yeah i think well we really haven't said much

[28:33] about the quality of the film so it was great clearly i was very disappointed this movie i

[28:38] thought it was going to be way crazier and over the top neville dean and taylor gave us the

[28:42] impression from their crank movies because the guys who made this made the crank movies yeah

[28:47] that they were going to deliver a really crazy ghost rider movie and there's a little bit of

[28:51] that there's some high craziness adrenaline moments but then it gets very slow and very dull

[28:57] and last like that and it's not a long movie it's like an hour and 30 minutes

[29:02] and it feels much longer i mean there's a lot of scenes of uh stuff running around an attorney it

[29:06] was really boring yeah there's a lot of scenes of people just wandering across landscapes which

[29:10] may be fine if you're andre tarkovsky but come on neville d taylor there's a lot of scenes of uh

[29:17] you know eyes turning into into skull sockets and then nick cage trying to shake that off

[29:24] like i kind of wanted to see like walk it off nick cage is nick cage is putting the moves on

[29:28] the single mom and then puts his arm around her and then looks and sees he has a skeleton can

[29:32] hand he goes whoa and puts it behind his back okay is there something wrong what's the matter

[29:37] nothing nothing i just go to the uh bathroom i'll be right back runs to the bathroom his

[29:40] head's already on fire come on not now come on yeah a little more ghosty don't screw me

[29:48] maybe yeah maybe trying to hide his uh his affection for the devil's mom by uh i don't

[29:56] know because that kid's the devil the kid is the son of the devil okay

[30:00] Damon Hellstrom. Okay, trying to hide that kid. So wait, here's a question

[30:08] The idea of being a ghost blocks just brought it up like I know it was a fuck

[30:13] I know it was a fantasy sequence, but he's about Ghostbusters

[30:17] Well, there's flaming penis of his well, you know, like the flaming pee his penis isn't on fire

[30:25] No soft tissue boner Elliot now

[30:30] Touche and probably slightly wormy

[30:33] I'm guessing that I'm guessing that blood in that's those are those are busy blood splatters

[30:39] What is my grandma been telling me?

[30:42] Why are you talking to your grandma about this? Well, we're talking about boners

[30:46] Okay

[30:50] Your explanation just reiterated what you said before

[30:52] Yeah, they're round children gather round and I'll tell you a story of boners a boners of years past

[30:59] Boners of yesteryear of your King Arthur's boner was a mighty boner. He pulled it out of a stone

[31:08] Back to your granny's house

[31:10] the I think it's just he just opens his pants and fires constantly spilling out and maybe he just

[31:15] Shapes his hands into like an into like a tunnel. So the fire comes out, you know pee spray

[31:21] So is the like is there fire? Is there like a fire bladder?

[31:25] I think it's no these bodies is conscious on fire. Okay fire bladder

[31:30] Anyway, well, there was this there were these moments of stupidity that I wish were greater parts of the movie

[31:36] And the pee fire is one of them that like it's one of the things if there are those moments

[31:40] It's like look at heart ghost rider is kind of a stupid concept. It's a really cool visual

[31:46] It's an awesome visual that doesn't hold up too well when it's walking around and talking and hitting people

[31:50] so like let's just have fun with it and do crazy stuff, but

[31:54] As with any movie where there's a prophecy that has to be fulfilled and some like Sarah

[31:59] Some ritual has to be performed in the light of the full moon before the dawn breaks or some stuff

[32:03] It's like it gets really bogged down and not fun

[32:06] And and part of the problem is is similar to the problems with the with the Hulk is that you have a character?

[32:14] Who the audience just wants them to be they're like monster form. Yeah, I really care about the nerdy normal guy

[32:21] Even when you have a list and when you have a star play the the normal guy it it causes a problem

[32:28] I'm sure

[32:29] We're in the movie making your pan Nick Cage tens of millions of dollars probably like you don't want to have his character be played

[32:35] By a CGI skeleton most of the movie like you want to get your money's worth with Nick Cage

[32:39] Especially since the smelter are shooting most of the shots in his various castles

[32:44] And I have to assume the castle in the beginning where they have a massacre of monks is his castle

[32:50] That he owns including Anthony Stewart head is Dan

[32:53] Giles from Buffy Anthony Stewart head and from

[32:57] opera

[32:59] Very beginning of the movie and like the prologue

[33:02] Says about two lines and then get shot in the head

[33:05] He's doing good Anthony Stewart head is to herself

[33:09] That was LA

[33:10] Thanks, Dan. Thanks now. I know every memory you have of me. You've inserted Stewart in

[33:15] LA jokes to me. Thanks. I guess you wanted that's the director's cut the way you wish those memories that happened

[33:20] If you had had the technology of the time, yeah

[33:22] Well, there's a certain dopey Stewart quality to that joke

[33:29] But Nicolas Cage at one point owned at least two castles we had to sell at least one of them for taxpayers good review Charlie

[33:36] Brown I

[33:38] Pulled I pulled the football out from under Stewart the football of

[33:41] No, that's his hemorrhoid pillow Dan. Yeah

[33:46] Not a football

[33:49] Footballs aren't shaped like this doughnuts

[33:53] You can have it back. I guess we should probably final judgment

[33:57] We should probably start from the top and talk about the movie all over. Okay, ghost riders spirit of vengeance

[34:03] Catch that kid smash cut

[34:05] We're in hell, we're a young man named ghost rider is dreaming of the future

[34:09] Oh, I'll never be a spirit of vengeance because I'm not big and strong drink your milk

[34:15] Yeah, like Nicolas Cage

[34:17] Then his dad gets killed by a burglar. He gets bitten by a radioactive. Whatever turns into Superman

[34:24] motorcycle Alfred teaches him that like that keep that he can't do everything but he thinks he can and that the reason we fall is

[34:30] Because we can learn to pick ourselves back up out of hell

[34:32] Exactly Bane breaks his back and then turns over and then turns into a a guy in a wheelchair with a huge head and a mustache

[34:40] then Green Lantern fights

[34:42] Wonder Woman and

[34:45] Superman returns

[34:46] from space

[34:49] Then gremlins show up the gremlins to the new batch are right behind

[34:52] of course 1492 the discovery of paradise and

[34:56] It happened here directed by Kevin Brownlow, then of course, there's reanimator monkey shines which leads to Sophie's choice

[35:06] The man who knew too much meets the man who knew to live a little the man who wasn't there and then of course the

[35:11] man with two faces

[35:13] Two-faced Batman forever and forever plaid. So I think that pretty much covers it, right? Yep

[35:19] So

[35:21] Catch that kid spirit of vengeance to 3d up the streets

[35:26] So yeah, were we missing out? Was this original was this in 3d?

[35:28] Was this drug was shot in 2d and then post turned into 3d. Okay, we didn't so it was fakie 3d. Okay

[35:36] We didn't miss too much time. No. Yeah

[35:38] So was this a good bad movie a bad bad movie movie kind of liked Stuart?

[35:43] What do you have to say for yourself? Well, I was really

[35:49] He's really hoping not to be talked to that way

[35:51] That

[35:54] Was the 70s company, of course, I of course I wanted to like this movie everybody knows I love Nicolas Cage

[36:03] But yeah, it was pretty boring

[36:05] there's a lot of boring shit in it and it did feel like I was lied to by the trailer in that all the

[36:11] exciting stuff was basically the end of the movie which ended up not being

[36:14] Excited when watched as a movie and not a trailer and the flame P was a dream. It was like a fantasy

[36:19] Yeah, come on I was expecting that to be like the actual climax

[36:23] yeah, like he's 30 minutes of the movie should have been like the flame P because no like when he had the devil on his

[36:28] Knees at the very

[36:33] What would be more insulting than to be burned to death by P come on nothing literally nothing

[36:37] Yeah, come on. So I'm gonna have to say a bad bad movie. Although it's

[36:42] I will have to amend this because when I heard that it was in 3d and I didn't see it in 3d

[36:48] I have to say it was probably a good good movie in 3d

[36:52] Makes everything better. You did not see it as the as the director intended

[36:56] Well, no you did because it was post-processed into 3d. I think the studio intended me to see it in 3d

[37:02] So it's probably all true. That's true. Okay, so your thoughts I would also call this a bad bad movie

[37:08] You're agreeing with again. I except for the good good part

[37:11] I also had high hopes that this would be a fun stupid piece of fun stoop

[37:15] But instead it turns out to be pretty dull and not a lot of craziness, which is what I was hoping for

[37:21] So bad bad. Yeah, I for a while was hovering around a movie

[37:26] I kind of like first like 20 minutes were better than the rest of the movie

[37:29] Yeah, it was the cameras all shaky and Nicolas Cage was being a goof and you know, it just got dull

[37:34] I liked all the silly stuff like the green screen like driving around

[37:38] And Nicholas Cage making faces like somebody's pinching his genitals. Yeah, I'm just he was doing that to himself

[37:44] There's also there's a very method. I hear very late in the movie blackout kind of wins me over a couple times

[37:49] there's a part where he's

[37:51] Dissolving Idris Elba's body and Idris Elba headbutts him and in such a so hard that Idris Elba's head

[37:57] Bursts into dust and it gets in blackouts mouth and Stuart went that's gross and then blackout goes poop. Uh, that's gross

[38:05] It was great. That moment was great

[38:06] So if you can watch this movie with Stuart to have him say that line before blackout says it then I'm available on Tuesdays and Wednesdays

[38:12] Rather not leave Brooklyn

[38:14] specifically Park Slope, so

[38:17] Just I am me. So if you're in the slope and Dan, what about you?

[38:21] What about me your final judgment? I gave it

[38:25] I was really thinking about the it's gross part. All right, even call me ass at a lot tonight not on the show, but beforehand

[38:33] Dude

[38:35] He just got him yeah, I gotta rotate him they're like crops, you know

[38:43] Brained of nutrients and right now I'm in the asset phase. I'm looking at his iPad. So that's either celebrity boobs or letters

[38:52] It was celebrity boobs earlier, but now it's letters

[38:56] And that's a lot of boobs. I think I mean I assume you mean the three stooges what a bunch of boobs

[39:00] Yeah, well a lot of yucks though

[39:03] What do you think anyway letter? This is from Hector last name with hell Elizondo

[39:11] No, no, there's no Elizondo

[39:15] This is it says a Stuart Wellington approved flop house recommendation. Let's hope

[39:20] Dear floppers

[39:21] I want to start by saying that since I discovered your show through a V clubs pod mass feature a while back

[39:26] The flop house has quickly become my favorite podcast now. I think we should step out side right side here. I agree. Let's change

[39:32] Okay, so we're gonna we're gonna Zack Morris timeout it. Yep, and then take a little pizza

[39:38] Cellphones and find a homeless man at the mall invite him to live at our house and never see him again

[39:44] That's how you Zack Morris

[39:46] But we should mention that it's crazy. It's sweeping the nation

[39:50] The AV club was very kind enough to include us again in their regular pod mass feature as one in their roundup of the best

[39:58] Podcast I think that was probably a typo

[40:00] uh... it may be but uh... it was uh... they they read the written that they

[40:04] reviewed our last episode of mortals

[40:06] which not one of our most amazing episodes but it was great to see them

[40:09] give us a positive write-up

[40:11] is but we're very glad to have it and we hope more people's covers as a result

[40:14] point is that i don't know what you need to be clear

[40:17] uh... that made the real point i want to get this is notified of tonight's

[40:21] before this recording

[40:22] which is that apparently some hooligans some blaggard some dastardly devious

[40:28] d villain

[40:30] posting comment in them threads of on that

[40:34] podmask

[40:34] under my name and i do not appreciate that probably not your wife it's not my

[40:38] wife she doesn't care about this podcast doesn't pay attention to it

[40:42] it wasn't being consistent because they have posted under his own name to get

[40:46] into a troll squabble

[40:49] we call those a flame war in the biz

[40:53] in what biz? internet commenting biz?

[40:56] uh... so that was dan that was the real dan mccoy the real mccoy you might call him

[41:00] i thought that since i am a bigot i could get the best of this troll

[41:04] i did not but uh... i didn't post it because i don't

[41:07] one know how to post things using my phone yes and i was working so i am

[41:11] there's someone in the comments section uh... with the name elliot kaelin not me

[41:16] who said

[41:17] about time was it spelled correctly it was spelled correctly but that's not for

[41:21] those who is doing this he didn't put

[41:23] apostrophe bout time but that's how i talk i'm bout it and you're saying

[41:28] like if you now if you ever want to comment on anything in the AV club you'll have to be

[41:32] posting as the real elliot kaelin or elliot kaelin 69 as i suggested

[41:37] that it was your suggestion yeah you get one of those verified checks next to you i just want

[41:41] everyone to know that was not me commenting i'm very unhappy about it but

[41:44] it does mean i'm officially a celebrity who's been cyber squatted so if someone

[41:47] wants to add that to my wikipedia entry go right ahead

[41:50] uh... and i want to say to the AV club

[41:52] i would never make a comment like that i was very appreciative that you wrote

[41:55] about us and i hope you do again in the future it was very nice of you

[41:58] anyway so back to that other elliot kaelin

[42:01] who are you why are you trying to steal my life

[42:05] i have a set of skills skills that could be very useful in this whatever

[42:09] uh... so what with elliot's ability to recall back to the letter that's when

[42:13] zach goes time in

[42:16] this is a ride mr. building is perplexed but pays for them

[42:21] what with elliot's they serve them at the fourth prom they've held that week

[42:26] what with elliot's misspelled ability to recall vast stores of frivolous pop

[42:31] culture factoids yep say by the bell stewart's raw sex appeal

[42:35] and dan's how do you say leonardinous the flop house is going to be my

[42:38] favorite bad movie podcast and i think it trumps the competition having said

[42:42] thank you very much i appreciate that and i hope i assume that when you say

[42:46] having said that

[42:47] something pot more positively come after having said all this

[42:50] i noticed a lot more of the recent films you guys have covered are curiously

[42:54] lacking in the ding dong mutilation department

[42:57] just ridiculous amount of power you know just immortals just had a guy slamming a

[43:01] huge hammer into another guy's junk that's actually a really good point

[43:05] but you wait for it but there was a big ding dong mutilation gap before then yeah

[43:08] so might i suggest you guys uh... suggest a film that will surely make up

[43:12] for that general lack of gore anti-christ and bad taste by pointing you guys

[43:15] towards an aussie's flat stick film in the mold of one peter jackson's and or

[43:19] sam ramey's earlier films

[43:21] i speak of the nineteen ninety three gore movie body melt

[43:26] uh... films great the films and she's not

[43:29] clinton about

[43:30] a film written and directed by the former member of an experimental music

[43:33] troop with an irritatingly unpronounceable name

[43:36] uh... right arrow up arrow right arrow

[43:39] and those of the symbols

[43:40] as per wikipedia summary of the film the movie is about the result residents of

[43:44] the small town of pebbles court

[43:46] who are the unknowing test subjects for a new variety of vimule dietary supplement

[43:50] pills that arrive for free in their mailboxes

[43:53] the pills are designed to produce the ultimate healthy human but have

[43:55] unexpected side effects including hallucinations and mutations

[43:59] uh... here's a small list of certain scenes that i hope will whet your

[44:02] appetite

[44:04] a scene in which a man has his rib cage massaged out of his stomach

[44:07] spoiler alert two a scene in which a pregnant woman's unborn baby attempts to

[44:11] kill her by expelling itself from her body and attacking both her and her

[44:14] husband with tendrils awesome

[44:16] and three of course scene which a couple has the very little dept definition of

[44:20] killer sex

[44:22] it has to do with the dudes ding dong which i'm sure stewart will enjoy

[44:25] thanks for that

[44:27] that's a recommendation from one hector last name withheld well thanks hector

[44:31] alessandro thank you for the recommendations

[44:34] body melt

[44:35] i will let you know that body melt

[44:39] what do you say we have

[44:41] uh... yeah i haven't seen that film but i'll have to try it

[44:43] sounds good

[44:45] sounds a little bit like a recommendation i made

[44:49] now i can't think of anything

[44:50] maybe like uh... black rose is the movie where the uh...

[44:53] the devil rock band shows up in a small town and turns everybody the demons

[44:57] it that's not the one with the nazi demons is it

[45:00] i don't think they're nazi demons that's the one with the really awesome vhs

[45:03] uh... box cover that was like

[45:05] like puffy

[45:07] i don't know i think i'm going to have a metal cover

[45:09] that's probably i think that it was either called heavy metal zombies or

[45:12] hard rock zombies although it is a scene

[45:14] over the course of a couple scenes you just see this one demon zombie puppet

[45:17] eat its own face

[45:19] although i think the rock band the evil rock band at the end of uh... blood

[45:23] diner featured a couple of uh... adolf hitler's

[45:27] that sounds about right yeah

[45:29] or blinder

[45:30] blood diner or blinder okay back to the letters this one's titled on cannons

[45:35] and it's from matthew last name without the pet tax purposes let's go matthew

[45:39] let's go then

[45:41] it says dearest floppers

[45:43] uh... recently a friend and i want to see a little movie called prometheus

[45:46] which i liked well enough to hope that it doesn't end up in on the subject of a

[45:49] future episode

[45:50] i liked it yeah we all we all we all enjoyed

[45:53] uh... after the movie she a lady

[45:55] commits robo surgery on herself to pull an octopus baby out of her belly come on

[45:58] and then two awesome aliens

[46:00] fucking get in a fight and have sex

[46:02] well i don't think that it's sex it's a sexual assault it's consensual it seemed

[46:06] pretty consensual that one weird dude

[46:09] they both ended up dead at the end of it

[46:11] talk about killer sex that's for you hector continue with the letter after the

[46:15] movie my friend found an interview where ridley scott offered an explanation for

[46:18] one of the mysteries in the movie i'm sure that's

[46:21] in the hopes of not spoiling anything i will say that involved the possibility

[46:24] of a space jesus

[46:26] my friend then said the interview was the definitive explanation

[46:30] thinking that that particular explanation was stupid

[46:32] and that scott and company had decided against explicitly including in the

[46:35] movie

[46:36] i said it was just a possible explanation and that only the things

[46:39] found in the movie itself

[46:41] could count as official or definitive

[46:42] we have not been able to come to an agreement even in agreement to

[46:46] disagreement

[46:47] so it turned to you floppers

[46:48] is something a creator says in an interview part of the canon of their

[46:51] work

[46:52] even if they didn't think it was worthwhile to include in the actual work

[46:55] uh... so we're like judge john hodgman now we are a couple of judges john

[46:59] hodgman right now i wanna well first of all i want to compliment you on not

[47:03] agreeing to disagree because

[47:05] number one that's stupid and number two uh... the basis of a civil society

[47:11] uh... can i tell you where i come down on this one

[47:14] i come down squarely in favor of the letter writer

[47:17] you have to go with the text of the film the content of the film

[47:20] the creator may say what he wants fucking ridley scott always

[47:23] makes up bullshit about his fucking stupid movie

[47:28] once the film is out in the open

[47:31] he no longer has control over interpretation he can say what he meant

[47:34] it to be but if it is george lucas of course everything he does afterwards is

[47:37] is great

[47:38] and should be taken one hundred percent as canon no just what i'm saying

[47:43] he just has a different relationship with his work with his output

[47:46] but it's like marcel Duchamp said

[47:48] it takes two to make a work of art the artist and the spectator

[47:52] and the spectator is in some ways an equal and in some ways

[47:55] a greater

[47:56] half of that equation

[47:58] and also that space jesus explanation I know the one you're referring to is stupid

[48:01] and it's unnecessary so there's no reason he doesn't have a beard

[48:04] there's no dude with a beard no space jesus thank you everyone knows it's space

[48:08] jesus had a space beard and the one the scary thing about that movie if

[48:12] there is a scary thing is that

[48:14] you have we have no idea not to spoil it for anyone who still hasn't seen

[48:17] prometheus a month and a half later or two months later but

[48:20] we the

[48:21] the people who created us hate us and want to destroy us and we don't know why

[48:25] maybe they change their minds maybe we did something to piss them off maybe

[48:27] they're just assholes we don't know we never will

[48:29] that's the scary thing

[48:31] space assholes

[48:32] now that sounds like a peter jackson movie

[48:36] peter jackson's space assholes he shot it every thursday night

[48:40] every thursday night for five years

[48:43] uh... this letter is titled do you guys agree with me on that one no oh sorry yes

[48:48] i do agree with you i do agree that would make an awesome peter jackson movie

[48:52] although he'll probably turn it into three separate movies

[48:56] with a lot of dwarf singing so we hope that answers your question about what would make an

[49:00] awesome peter jackson movie

[49:02] continuing dan

[49:04] suggestions for stewart's new sound uh... we okay are we doing that

[49:09] this is from dan last name without

[49:11] uh... yes so mccoy so you wrote us a letter because you want to get your sound on the air

[49:15] and the sound is dan's great

[49:18] dan's the best

[49:20] not really a sound

[49:21] humbly submitted

[49:23] when elliot's plot summary reaches a mind-shattering twist

[49:26] e.g. the old woman in the elevator is the devil

[49:30] then stewart should exclaim in a heavy french accent reminiscent of lumiere the

[49:33] candlestick or alex proyas

[49:36] sacre bleu

[49:38] or or idris elba in this movie yeah as marceau i think this would

[49:42] i think this would ratchet up the drama and give the flop house a continental old world

[49:46] flavor

[49:47] much like ragu

[49:48] p.s. i imagine that the phrase e.g. prompted elliot to make an e.g. marshall joke

[49:54] nailed it? in my head yeah there you go i thought about him

[49:57] i'd be lying if i said i didn't

[50:00] So soccer blue

[50:05] Soccer blue

[50:11] 70s like like light porn film I was gonna say it sounds like a shit a character in a shitty like neo-noir set in the

[50:17] future

[50:18] on the case of soccer blue

[50:20] Soccer blue was a dancer. See I'm thinking like there's like maybe like a Swedish girls soccer team and it's

[50:26] The there it's about the sexual away. They're all Smurfs and they said

[50:31] For the ladybugs, yeah

[50:36] Actors, I mean that sounds creepy like in their 80s older than Rodney Dangerfield

[50:41] It's all pretty pretty old when he made anybody's they're not for God's you want to make a porn about kids

[50:47] Oh, okay. Are you a guy Stan? McCoy does not speak for the flop house on this one

[50:51] I

[50:53] Remember when I was here's a quick another quick screw at young Elliot when I was in fifth grade

[50:57] I really want to be Jonathan Brandis all my life

[51:00] I want to be Jonathan Brandis until a certain thing happens. I think we all know what it is

[51:04] Involving suicide, but uh, so when I was in fifth grade, we were graduating from elementary

[51:12] Graduating from elementary school

[51:14] So there was a year fifth grade yearbook and they were gonna list what the favorite movies of the year were and there was a big

[51:19] Hullabaloo, it was all Terminator 2, right?

[51:21] It should have been but there were two competing groups

[51:24] The girls wanted ladybugs to be it and there were two guys who were so unhappy about this

[51:30] That they created a voting block in favor of Wayne's world and they're like even if you don't like Wayne's world that much

[51:35] Do you really want to say ladybugs in your yearbook?

[51:38] And in the end there was enough of a tie that it said ladybugs slash Wayne's world

[51:43] So nobody was happy, which is I'm assuming the the unofficial sequel to both films

[51:48] Cuz I never made a sequel to Wayne's world exactly, but isn't that the crossover sequel?

[51:52] I of course voted for a magnificent ever since the original lost cut

[51:56] Isn't that a sign of a good compromise Elliot when no one's happy wrong ladybugs ways

[52:01] the best compromise possible the best part is they did it alphabetically instead of

[52:06] These are all ladybugs bigger stars. Yeah. Yeah, Ronnie Dangerfield again way bigger star bigger star than Dana Carvey

[52:14] always

[52:16] What about that movie how many and that's your disguise come on he did play a turtle man

[52:20] But did he ever do a cartoon kids movie where he played a dog version of himself?

[52:25] No, Rodney Dangerfield did it was called Rover Dangerfield

[52:28] He also rapped. So there you go and Rodney Daniel or the dog

[52:33] Both at the same time. There's a duet and there was also that animated movie rock a doodle

[52:39] But I don't think that had anything to do with Rodney Dangerfield. It was just like a rock-and-roll rooster

[52:44] Rodney doodle

[52:46] Where there was a rock-and-doodle spatter older brother

[52:50] We didn't get any respect a little bit more of a party animal, but you know finally made it through college here

[52:56] So this is the part of the movie where we recommend. This is a movie

[53:03] The part of the movie of our lives

[53:06] With Seth Rogen is Stuart Wellington David Pamer as Elliot Kalin

[53:09] And Dan McCoy is himself the movie of our lives have has reached the second act so now we really need to

[53:16] You know, we need to face

[53:21] Rabbit up like we had to throw a rabbit in the air. I was like is that a technical term?

[53:26] I didn't recognize that a film slang term. We use it in the biz

[53:30] Mm-hmm in the dot biz biz

[53:34] This is the part of the show part of the podcast

[53:37] Where we recommend movies that we've seen

[53:41] Recently usually and liked what we enjoyed

[53:44] In contrast, so we recommend a movie as opposed to just shitting on things

[53:48] Yeah to show that we've got some joy in our heart that we're not just hateful hateful hateful

[53:54] Okay, news. Well, I'm gonna recommend a little movie called Space Jail

[53:58] starring

[54:00] Space Jam

[54:02] It's like wow a real twist

[54:05] Recommend Space Jam. So it's not called Space Jail. I'm turning it around. It's called Space Jail. I think it's called lock-up

[54:11] Oh wait, lock up lock out lock out lock up would make more sense because space is up. Yeah

[54:16] Well, it's no up in space

[54:19] Dan just informed me. It's called lockout. It stars Guy Pearce as a sassy talking mercenary

[54:25] He is super sassy, yeah the sassiest character in ever in a movie ever ever goes

[54:31] Yeah, uh, first of all, it's the best movie ever and this is the sassiest character ever

[54:36] So Elliot, I guess you're gonna have to watch it. Yeah

[54:40] To refute this comment that I made so he goes in outer space. He's gotta save the president's daughter

[54:44] He's gotta save Shannon from loss. It's escape from LA in space

[54:48] Uh, I guess if you want to minimize the impact the movie had on my life, then yes

[54:53] So he goes up there and he finds

[54:56] the

[54:58] The entire Space Jail has been taken over by the inmates, of course

[55:03] And they might it's being run by a pair of space brothers from Scotland. I'm guessing they're just regular brothers

[55:10] Yeah, they can't be space brothers that they're in Scotland. Well, but what's there in space the only answer everything's with a space pencil space toothbrush

[55:18] Space pavement look do you want to save time or do you want to be in space? Good point continue Stewart?

[55:23] So he's in outer space

[55:25] Guy Pierce that is and the jail and so he has to save Shannon from loss played by TV's Maggie Grace

[55:36] He has a saver I'm not gonna tell you how it ends, but it's awesome. So go see

[55:42] Space jail, you probably don't need to go anywhere to see it. I mean like

[55:46] Your provider that

[55:49] Right now like if you got Time Warner, for instance, you can put you know, pay the six bucks and watch it tonight

[55:54] It was like right now me. Oh

[55:57] You probably watching HD. Yeah, I didn't I watch it in regular D as it was intended. Everything Stewart watches is in double D

[56:05] That's actually true. So space jail Dan. It's called lockout. I watched I rewatched actually a movie that I saw

[56:14] Back in high school, but haven't seen since Dark Knight Rises

[56:19] I'm aging backwards like Merlin

[56:23] What no, that's how I saw it when I was in high school Merlin was aging backwards. Yeah, that's how that's how he knew

[56:29] The future was that he was aging backwards in time. Okay. Interesting. I didn't know that

[56:33] You sure he wasn't backwards

[56:36] So a little bit of our theory and legend for everyone. Yeah, but what I watched one Oh series name, by the way

[56:42] Asian

[56:44] Starring Merlin, I'm not proud of what I did

[56:48] John Merlin Camelot had fallen and I was falling on hard times. I needed the money

[56:53] I was going to regret it end of chapter one. He's reading his audio book. I watched the movie

[57:00] chapter

[57:03] Chapter the second I was riding high in the porn world

[57:07] People were craving my staff and I don't mean in a magic way

[57:12] And this is chapter two all of our three legend is chapter one of the book

[57:18] What other adventures did Merlin have? Anyway, Dan continue. I watched the movie top copy

[57:25] Directed by Jules Dassen who you may have a heist film. You may know from the film Rafifi

[57:31] And or he also did night in the city. Yeah, fantastic movie top

[57:36] Copy is also a heist film like Rafifi but a much more light-hearted one

[57:40] And it kind I mean like I guess I guess Ocean's Eleven the original Ocean's Eleven came before it

[57:45] But I think the top copy kind of kicked off sort of like the light comic heist film as a genre

[57:51] It was certainly it's certainly one of the better ones and I prefer gambit but top cappy is also good. It's it's a very fun movie

[57:59] That's

[58:01] A recommendation. Yeah, I apologize. It's shot in Turkey. It has been some beautiful

[58:08] 1960s style colorful

[58:12] Cinematography

[58:13] Peter Ustinov won an Oscar for his best supporting actor role in there as a

[58:20] small-time

[58:21] Con artist who gets in with some a major jewel heist and gets in over his head

[58:26] But he's very funny and lovable in the movie and it's just super entertaining I say watch it if you enjoy things that are enjoyable

[58:34] And who doesn't who doesn't enjoy that?

[58:38] I'd like oh boy. I'd like to recommend a movie you guys a new character called a guy who doesn't like movies

[58:43] Guy who doesn't enjoy things? Oh, I hate everything

[58:47] So you're so you're basically yeah, but he's a guy he's not a donkey. Yeah, that'd be crazy. What is he a donkey?

[58:57] I'd like to recommend a movie you make it you guys may have seen this. I don't know a little movie called death dream

[59:03] It's also known by the name of Clark. Yes

[59:05] It's also known by the name dead of night and it's directed by Bob Clark who you know from

[59:10] Christmas story and Porky's among other things Black Christmas Black Christmas. Also, this is what he made before Black Christmas about a

[59:18] Family who are overjoyed when their son returns from the Vietnam War

[59:22] Despite the fact that they've already received received a telegram telling him that he was killed in action

[59:27] And of course the son is not who he seems

[59:31] And it's a very kind of well put together well made and well acted for the most part

[59:36] low budget 70s horror film in this kind of slow build about what's wrong with their son and

[59:42] What he's been doing is really nice

[59:45] And there's some great makeup effects in it

[59:48] and it moves pretty fast and

[59:51] You know, it's a it's got a lot of 70s clothes in it, but not stupid 70s clothes

[59:56] Like not exaggerated like 70s costumes, but like oh these

[1:00:00] to close people were in the seventies okay

[1:00:01] i don't mind medallions exactly and i'm not a little bell-bottoms and hats or

[1:00:06] feathers on the things like there's an unexpected place for your recommendation

[1:00:09] to go to talk about the seventies close well nobody's one of the i feel like in

[1:00:13] low-budget movies a lot of times you get a better record of

[1:00:16] how people lived

[1:00:17] right because they're shooting in real houses real clothes the using people who

[1:00:21] sometimes are just real people that they know

[1:00:24] uh... a lot like the starskeen hutch movie starring ben stiller yeah yeah

[1:00:27] exactly exactly

[1:00:29] but uh... anyway it's a good uh...

[1:00:31] nice tight horror thriller

[1:00:33] death dream also known as dead night

[1:00:36] uh... so guys

[1:00:38] i guess that's it

[1:00:40] it is not only sad about it but it's always hard to say goodbye

[1:00:44] yesterday it's been a good one

[1:00:47] so uh... so it's a philosophical all of a sudden dan are you aging backwards

[1:00:51] are you aging backwards

[1:00:53] we won't judge you

[1:00:55] if only i was aging backwards

[1:00:58] uh... well

[1:00:59] there's been another cage cast

[1:01:02] for the cage cast brought to you by cages cages

[1:01:05] the only cage is strong enough to withhold nicolas cage how does he know

[1:01:08] because he designs them let me out of this cage let me out of here i really don't

[1:01:12] appreciate being locked in this cage

[1:01:16] so thanks to cages cages for that sponsorship our first sponsorship

[1:01:20] first ever sponsor

[1:01:22] uh... and for the flop house i've been dan mccoy i've been stewart wellington

[1:01:27] at night

[1:01:27] listen to the moon see what whispers on the wind

[1:01:31] listen to the rustling the trees

[1:01:34] and stare at a star and maybe you'll hear the name

[1:01:37] elliott kalin

[1:01:38] goodnight

[1:01:53] great all my god the bad guy was jewish so he's really slow like i don't know

[1:01:58] if you're on the roof okay so he was like waddle from phantoms yeah it

[1:02:02] yeah he was

[1:02:03] and it is just a it's a any

[1:02:06] that's why do you want to make a deal i think it's going

[1:02:09] i won't pay that much

[1:02:12] okay that's what i can get you a neutron bomb for much less than a little

[1:02:15] goldman never that price for a neutron bomb

The Flop House: Episode #107 - Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

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