The Flop House: Episode #158 - Labor Day

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss the movie set on the sexiest holiday, Labor Day.

[0:31] Hey, everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:35] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:37] And interested in Stuart Wellington's new way of talking, I'm Elliot Kalin.

[0:41] Should I not just keep doing that, or...?

[0:43] Hey, it's up to you. It's a free country.

[0:44] I mean, should I not keep doing that?

[0:46] No, actually, don't.

[0:48] It started as Fred Schneider, and then it became just kind of like, I don't know,

[0:52] a fat guy in an 80s comedy.

[0:55] Well, I don't know what's happening here.

[0:57] Well, you kids better stop it before I call the police.

[1:01] There's a little Jimmy Stewart.

[1:03] Well, shut down this bikini party.

[1:06] Oh, old man Jimmy Stewart hates bikini car washes.

[1:09] Imagine if Jimmy Stewart's career had really gone downhill and he had to do bikini movies.

[1:13] Well, what is that girl over here?

[1:15] Oh, there's quite a beautiful piece of tail.

[1:18] Bobby, why don't you ask her out?

[1:20] This was advertised as a bikini car wash.

[1:22] They're taking their tops off.

[1:25] I'm not paying for that.

[1:27] This is a service I did not ask for.

[1:30] I got a letter from the bank saying I have to lose my bikini store.

[1:36] I can't pay the mortgage.

[1:38] I'll have to put on some kind of strip show.

[1:45] My uncle left the bikinis, so they lost them somewhere.

[1:49] Sorry, anyway.

[1:50] What?

[1:51] I'm trying to do a It's a Wonderful Life thing.

[1:54] Oh, I see.

[1:55] Where are the bikinis, old man?

[1:57] One of us is going to jail.

[1:58] It's not going to be me.

[1:59] Jimmy Stewart's one of those accents for me that always comes out when I try and do Sean Connery for too long.

[2:05] I found a cure for cancer, but I lost it.

[2:11] So what do we do on this podcast aside from bad impressions?

[2:14] This is our Rich Little Podcast.

[2:17] Very little.

[2:20] Now, this is a podcast where we talk about bad movies that we just watched.

[2:24] In this case, the bad movie in question was a little number called Labor Day.

[2:32] Labor Day.

[2:34] Actually, I think it was probably rated PG.

[2:36] Named after the day every year where America gives up all labor for 24 hours.

[2:44] Or has a baby.

[2:46] Really, it should be called No Labor Day.

[2:48] Yeah, thanks.

[2:49] Thanks for that joke that I've seen every day since Labor Day was invented.

[2:55] Really, you've been around every day since Labor Day?

[2:57] Yeah.

[2:58] Why would they make Labor Day jokes every day?

[3:00] It's not topical.

[3:03] Why are you doing your Christmas material again?

[3:05] Well, for the first two years after Labor Day was invented, it was the talk of the town.

[3:12] It was on the tip of everyone's tongue.

[3:14] And then after that, they just became the tip of the tongue.

[3:18] Labor, talk of the town.

[3:22] This movie could have been rated R, though, for hardcore pie-ery.

[3:26] Now, yeah, they're a bunch of pie-romaniacs, as in romantic pie-makers.

[3:30] Now, Dan, Labor Day, is that one of these Gary Marshall holiday comedies like New Year's Eve?

[3:37] Or Valentine's Day? Or Arbor Day? Or Cinco de Mayo Day? Or Day of the Dead Day? Or Armistice Day?

[3:45] It is, in fact, Boxing Day.

[3:48] Liam Neeson.

[3:50] I would love to see a movie that is a comedy, where the idea is that some filmmakers in a small English town

[4:00] made their version of a Gary Marshall multi-para-character holiday movie that's Boxing Day.

[4:06] And the meta-ness of the movie is that they just rounded up whoever they could from around the town.

[4:12] So it's like the Green Grocer and the Alewife falling in love with each other, and a chimney sweep, and I don't know.

[4:17] Kamas, the news agent.

[4:19] The news agent, did you say?

[4:21] Yep.

[4:22] The news agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

[4:24] See, when you said, I would like to see the Boxing Day comedy, I was thinking it would be a couple of washed-up boxers.

[4:31] Yeah, a grudge match.

[4:32] They're like, oh, Boxing Day, that's something that's observed in Canada.

[4:36] Clearly, we need to go up there, because that's where we're going to be stars again.

[4:40] And they discover it's just a day when the servants got to open their presents.

[4:43] It's just the day that they celebrate Boxing Helena.

[4:48] Canada and the UK's favorite movie.

[4:50] Everyone dresses up as a let's-wear-so, with no legs and arms.

[4:56] They play Living in a Box all day long.

[5:01] So, Labor Day, it's a comedy, right?

[5:03] No, this is Jason Reitman is trying to break out.

[5:07] Funny name, Jason Reitman.

[5:08] I don't like Jason Long, man.

[5:09] Oh, man.

[5:10] You seem to observe.

[5:11] Boom, he's not getting up soon from that, because I also punched him.

[5:15] Wow.

[5:16] Not really.

[5:17] You go to jail.

[5:18] So, this was Jason Reitman's attempt at making an adult drama.

[5:20] Yeah.

[5:21] We know him usually from such sort of more cynical comedies as your Thank You for Smoking,

[5:29] your Juno, you're Up in the Air.

[5:31] Why are those mine?

[5:32] You're a young adult.

[5:33] Why are they my Juno, my Up in the Air?

[5:35] You own the rights.

[5:36] You are very rich.

[5:38] I didn't realize.

[5:39] So, apparently, I buy the rights to movies that disappoint me.

[5:41] You don't care for those movies.

[5:42] Yeah.

[5:43] But you figure…

[5:44] Every time I see a movie I don't particularly like, I go, I must buy it.

[5:46] I must own it.

[5:47] And add it to my movie menagerie.

[5:48] Because if you rid the world of all the imperfect movies, only perfect movies will come out.

[5:56] Only perfect movies, like Citizen Kane and Phantasm IV, Oblivion.

[5:59] I don't want to live in that world.

[6:02] You don't?

[6:03] It's terrible.

[6:04] Two movies.

[6:05] I thought you meant the world of Phantasm IV, where there's only four people and they're

[6:12] all in a desert all the time because there's no money.

[6:14] Yeah.

[6:16] A lot of tuning forks, though.

[6:17] A lot of tuning forks.

[6:18] And a lot of babes, but instead of breasts they have killer spheres.

[6:23] Yeah, and Reggie Bannister is showing his age.

[6:26] Yeah.

[6:27] Whoa.

[6:28] Take it easy, dude.

[6:29] The guy who was already like balding and paunchy in the first movie.

[6:34] The most unlikely action hero.

[6:36] That's what I like about him.

[6:37] Yeah, it's so great.

[6:38] Is that in that movie it's about a kid and his hunky older brother and their friend

[6:42] the ice cream man.

[6:43] And over the course of the movies, the ice cream man becomes the hero and is involved

[6:48] in all the action scenes.

[6:49] But enough about Oblivion.

[6:50] We didn't watch Oblivion today.

[6:51] We watched Oblivion.

[6:52] We don't have Phantasm movies.

[6:53] We watched Labor Day.

[6:56] Now, Dan, so this was Jason Reitman's attempt to make a serious drama.

[7:00] He's breaking it.

[7:01] Oh, yeah.

[7:02] And let's give him ambition for breaking it out of the box.

[7:04] He could have made unfunny comedies for a while and instead he decided to make an unfunny,

[7:09] boring drama.

[7:10] And I want to, you know, a little moment behind, a peek behind the curtain.

[7:13] We actually watched Labor Day.

[7:15] The Jane Curtain.

[7:16] Jane, can you move over a little bit?

[7:18] Thanks.

[7:19] Now we can see the fact that we actually watched Labor Day on a screener, an award screener

[7:26] that was set because Elliot and I both being in the industry.

[7:32] We were both in the Writer's Guild.

[7:34] So we got the Writer's Guild awards.

[7:36] Yeah.

[7:37] But so this was a movie that they thought had real awards potential.

[7:42] This was a movie that they wanted.

[7:44] It won Taylors of the Golden Globe.

[7:46] Well, you know.

[7:47] Yeah.

[7:48] You know what I'm saying.

[7:49] As a comedy?

[7:50] You get it.

[7:51] No, for drama.

[7:52] For comedy and musical.

[7:53] So this is the unlikely tale of a woman who finds love in the unlikeliest place.

[7:59] Flash forward to 1987.

[8:02] Not flash forward.

[8:04] The movie is set in 1987, although much of the movie feels like it could have taken place

[8:08] in the 50s, 60s, the 40s.

[8:10] What I'm saying is unless the kid is reading a comic book or a magazine, or you see a movie

[8:15] poster in his bedroom wall, they do a not very good job of having a sense of time.

[8:19] Or a movie marquee.

[8:20] This could have been Steven Soderbergh's King of the Hill for all that we know.

[8:23] It's true.

[8:24] It could have been Mike Judge's King of the Hill for all we know.

[8:26] Sure.

[8:27] But with Boomhauer showing up.

[8:28] No, but you're right.

[8:30] This feels very depression-y.

[8:31] Yeah.

[8:32] Not just because I was depressed watching it, but then the character will take his mom

[8:36] to go see Daryl in the theaters.

[8:38] Part of it, I guess, is just that the very premise of the movie, which I guess we should

[8:41] state, which is a convict escapes and finds refuge.

[8:46] Let's start from the house.

[8:48] And refuge.

[8:49] No, but my point is this convict escaping and staying in the house and finding romance,

[8:55] that feels like a noir setup, sort of.

[8:59] Yeah, or romance.

[9:00] It feels old.

[9:01] From the past.

[9:02] Yeah.

[9:03] Well, this is the past, Dan.

[9:04] It's 1987.

[9:05] All right.

[9:06] Almost 30 years ago.

[9:07] You feel old right now.

[9:08] I do feel very old.

[9:09] Yeah.

[9:10] Back on Cracked Magazine.

[9:11] People are still listening to Duran Duran, right, guys?

[9:14] That's still hip.

[9:15] I mean, I don't think they were listening to him in this movie.

[9:17] No.

[9:18] This was like fucking Stephen King, 1987.

[9:21] This is a 1987 movie in which you hear no current music from that time, which is a little

[9:26] weird, even when they're in stores and cars.

[9:28] And if the movies have taught me anything, in the 80s, people were constantly walking

[9:32] around solving Rubik's Cubes.

[9:33] And I didn't see any Rubik's Cubes in this movie.

[9:35] It's like how it's in X-Men, Days of Future Past, it's the 70s.

[9:39] You know that because when Wolverine walks outside, everyone's dressed like a pimp.

[9:42] Everyone.

[9:43] So you've got to 80s up the clothes a little bit.

[9:45] So anyway.

[9:46] Actually, that's actually something that I think normally would be a strength in this

[9:49] movie, which is that they don't 80s it out.

[9:51] Yeah.

[9:52] It's not like everyone's dressed like our stereotyped idea of the 80s and listening

[9:55] to, like, you know, The Vandals and stuff.

[9:58] Flashdance.

[9:59] Yeah, or watching Flashdance.

[10:00] But at the same time, it's not like everyone's dressed like our stereotyped idea of the 80s

[10:00] I'm they go too far in the other direction like when is this where

[10:03] it's maybe they're going for like a classic look yeah anyway time was

[10:07] because there's a lot of flashbacks in this movie

[10:11] you're like what is going yeah it's difficult is this happening another

[10:14] that's a good point this flashbacks that's the stuff that's happening in

[10:18] the late sixties early seventies and you don't know that it's different

[10:22] you think he's yet that we could be just cutting through space rather than time

[10:25] sure now let's let's have a movie is 1987

[10:29] and there's a woman Adele play the Kate Winslet who is a single mom and she is

[10:33] basically a shut-in and she lives with her 13 year old son Henry and she

[10:38] doesn't get out much hurt there the dad left the family for his secretary and so

[10:44] now it's just Henry that played by Clark Gregg Clark Gregg best known as ancient

[10:48] Colson I shot a I shot an albatross around my neck that albatross his name

[11:00] was Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Clark Gregg in the rhyme of the ancient

[11:14] Colson there we stood we had a show moving without any motion like a painted

[11:21] ship on a painted ocean our hubris was our town ball in thinking anyone would

[11:27] watch any crap with Marvel's name slapped on it anyway so we love you

[11:33] Clark Gregg I like a lot yeah the point is they're having trouble and the son is

[11:37] trying to like make his mom happy and he does this fight in the early movie he

[11:41] makes a booklet that says husband for the day and it's coupons for a back rub

[11:46] and he'll do the dishes and take her to a movie but it's really creepy yeah it's

[11:51] like I mean the very name of it husband for the day sounds like a porn excuse me

[12:00] ma'am might I be your husband

[12:30] finally we're Dagwood and Cary Grant double-team olive oil and it was made

[12:45] and now it rests in the collection I like creepy or some creepy overweight

[12:49] guy by the way who bought it in an estate sale from pervert it's all canon

[12:56] you really I like to think and you have to know this yeah this that's pop I was

[13:14] upset yeah I was doing with Nancy so there are people listening to this

[13:22] podcast who have never heard of what a Tijuana Bible is before I don't know so

[13:26] baffled anyway I mean charming to see all these 30s and 40s comic strip

[13:36] characters doing it like that big Wollywood drawing all the Disney

[13:41] characters are having sex with each other but anyway so classic stuff look

[13:46] so he may he's her husband for the day they go see Daryl but he's he said it's

[13:55] being narrated by grown-up son as in Tony Tobey Maguire's doing the voice

[14:00] the grown-up son narrating which is as we've said before a bad sign for a movie

[14:05] when you have somebody like telling you the story about what their mother taught

[14:08] them as a child yeah now one day they're in a store and the son and Henry is

[14:14] confronted by a man with a bloody shirt played by Josh Brolin and he says hey

[14:19] can you help me I need a ride your mom will give me a ride in the car right and

[14:23] he is it's weird it's the movie is going I guess for like there's this an air of

[14:29] something dangerous about him but instead he just comes off as like a

[14:33] really irritating houseguest won't leave like he demands a ride home from them

[14:37] then he has to stay in their house for a couple hours then till nightfall then he

[14:41] stays for a couple days well so we're like it's more like a guy they keep

[14:44] doing favors for them like a scary criminal and in the early scenes there's

[14:48] a lot of bass in the soundtrack so you know there's something suspicious the

[14:51] music is carrying a heavy load in this movie because there's a lot of slow

[14:55] nothing and a lot of characters just kind of looking at each other not doing

[14:58] my staring up at the sky to where the baseball went yeah the music really is

[15:03] doing a lot of the work Roland doesn't like ever say explicitly like what the

[15:08] situation he's not making like explicit threats or anything like it's all like

[15:12] like he's talking code the whole time yeah which is and the soundtrack is

[15:15] telling us what's happening well I mean it's subtle and it wouldn't be bad if

[15:19] like the danger be unfolded like didn't realize how deep they were getting until

[15:23] it was too late and but instead the music treats it like fucking Abel

[15:27] Magwitch just jumped at Pip in a graveyard yeah and demanded demanded a

[15:32] strangling and yet and yet some great expectations will come from that moment

[15:39] what larks but it seems like it seems like Kate Winslet though can hear the

[15:45] soundtrack because she is reacting he's like that music is scary yeah this is a

[15:49] bad dude he should be in the video game bad saving the president and not putting

[15:55] his hand on the back of my son's neck now is that the first time a person has

[15:58] ever made reference to great expectations and then bad dudes

[16:07] for most of that reference yeah but yeah so he goes home and he's he escaped from

[16:12] it turns out he's a convict who escaped from jail by jumping out of a window he

[16:16] was hurt somehow and he's got blood on his head he had appendicitis to get out

[16:21] of jail into the hospital and they he stays there for a while and to make a

[16:28] long story short he and Kate Winslet almost immediately begin falling in love

[16:32] and this is their love their romance their wooing begins when he compliments

[16:38] their home then ties her up so that she can but generally said that she was kind

[16:42] of gently and then feeds her some chili that he made it he makes her some chili

[16:47] and ties her and then teaches her and her son how to make pies yeah well he is

[16:52] a master chef this is literally a scene where he she picks up a piece of food he

[16:58] made and then her eyes go open as if you know she's just seeing God through

[17:01] his food she's tasted God food is like or that food is like like there was no

[17:16] way of not going gross I realized halfway through my thoughts so I just

[17:19] went nobody should ever it's like the the he goes from scary to turning her on

[17:24] almost instantly yeah and there's a so and this movie seesaws back and crash

[17:28] yeah it movie seesaws back and forth between trying to make us tense and

[17:33] trying to show us passion so there's a scene where JK Simmons as the neighbor

[17:37] who is too many peaches shows up with a best so sexy this JK Simmons shows up

[17:43] with a basket of peaches and Josh Brolin doesn't want anyone to know that he's

[17:48] there so he like threat he while the son is talking to JK Simmons he has Kate

[17:54] Winslet in like an arm lock you know in case he has to use her as a hostage if

[17:59] something happens and we're supposed to be it's supposed to be tense but then

[18:02] immediately she's like we'll never eat all these peaches in time and he goes

[18:05] I've got an idea and then there's what a 40 minute sequence where he shows them

[18:09] how to make a peach pie it's the most ridiculous thing like first like JK

[18:12] Simmons shows up and he's like you know like I've got a basket of ripe vagina

[18:15] metaphors like then they're just like all like sticking their like hands into

[18:20] like these moist and it's like a like water for chocolate eat drink man yeah

[18:26] type or like a Maria pasta commercial except the Sun is there also getting up

[18:34] in the fucking eat you my mom Tammy as if it wasn't already incest you know

[18:39] that he was her husband for a day yeah the so it's anyway things 15 minutes

[18:46] later what's the pies baked and meanwhile they're having these they're

[18:50] these cut these like very quick flashbacks like the pawnbroker or

[18:55] something like that where you just see images and you slowly pick up that Josh

[18:59] Brolin was a soldier who came back from the war and had a baby with his wife but

[19:04] things didn't work out with his wife and eventually you learn that she was having

[19:08] an affair and she revealed to him the baby wasn't his and he got mad and

[19:11] shoved her and of course she hit her head on the radiator on the way down and

[19:14] died and then he ran upstairs and found that his wife had left the bathtub

[19:17] running and their baby drowned so I mean a pretty uplifting tale right yeah in

[19:21] the middle of this romance passion story I mean it feels a little bit like

[19:25] tragedy that they wrote this story they're like okay so he's gonna be a

[19:29] murderer how can we make him a murderer but like still kind of a good guy looks

[19:34] like con air where Nicolas Cage goes to jail for defending his pregnant wife in

[19:38] both cases we have like a convict Jesus character basically yeah yeah well Jesus

[19:42] was a convict oh yeah so he got the death penalty but then he rose three

[19:48] days later that's not something I agree you lost me over to my side lost me on

[19:52] that part with the dark side but it's fine if you want to burn in hell but if

[19:57] you want to you know get out the truth of

[20:00] I believe in it. God loves me so much he's gonna throw me to hell.

[20:03] He's gonna drag me to hell if you will. He's gonna snap his wrist

[20:06] and throw you down to hell. That's a reference to the movie

[20:10] we watched where Josh Brolin teases a little kid out in front of his mom.

[20:15] Because here's the thing, Kate Winslet doesn't just fall in love with Josh Brolin for his pie-making prowess

[20:18] and his sexy goatee. Pie-making prowess? He is literally the best husband ever.

[20:23] This convict who's been there for a day. On day two he starts just doing chores.

[20:28] He fixes their rock wall. He counts all their firewood and tells them they're being shortchanged

[20:33] by the firewood guy. He fixes their car. He teaches Henry how to throw a baseball.

[20:37] He cleans out the gutters. He waxes the floors.

[20:41] He waxes nostalgic for a time that never really existed.

[20:46] A friend of theirs comes over and forces them to babysit her disabled son.

[20:54] You may remember her from Science of the Lambs as a great big fat girl.

[20:59] Well, at first she was supposed to rub lotion on her skin.

[21:02] Yeah, she's in other movies too.

[21:04] Yeah, no, but that's her main thing.

[21:05] That's her famous role as lotion girl.

[21:08] As a girl who was almost but not made into a dress.

[21:15] The convict even loves this kid. Teaches him how to play baseball.

[21:18] Really, this convict is the sweetest of sweethearts.

[21:21] They wheel this kid in and you're like...

[21:23] I think the movie music tries to make you feel like

[21:26] Josh Brolin's totally just going to snap this kid's neck.

[21:30] That's the thing. Every scene it's supposed to be super tense like he's dangerous until he

[21:34] makes someone a meal or teaches them how to do something and cleans their house.

[21:37] He's going to snap this kid's neck and then we're like, whoa, is he going to sleep with this kid?

[21:43] We can't keep falling for the trap that this movie thinks we're going to fall for where it's like,

[21:47] uh-oh, is he finally going to snap this time? Oh no, he made them s'mores.

[21:52] Maybe he's going to strangle the whole family and burn the house down.

[21:54] No, he's reading them a bedtime story.

[21:57] Okay, this time he's going to go on a kill spree and murder 40 people and have sex with their

[22:03] bodies. I'm glad they didn't make s'mores, by the way, because that would have been a

[22:05] little too expensive. Oh no, he's setting up an animal shelter.

[22:10] A hotel for dogs. Okay, now seriously, he's going to rob a bank,

[22:15] but it's going to go bad. He's going to have to shoot a pregnant lady.

[22:18] He's putting together a parcel of canned food for the homeless in Guatemala.

[22:25] Can we talk just a moment about this kid that they babysit, this disabled kid?

[22:29] It's just a very off-putting scene because they turned this kid's disability into a suspense

[22:35] thing. Because he sees that when his mom comes to pick him up, the TV is on and they're constantly

[22:40] broadcasting that this convict is on the loose. They show a picture of him and the kid's like,

[22:44] the town was on fire. Yeah, and the disabled kid starts trying to point out to his mother that

[22:50] Frank, this man that he's met, who is hiding right now, is the criminalist. He goes, Frank,

[22:55] Frank, Frank. And she says, stop it, stop. And then, does she punch him?

[22:59] She slaps him. She slaps him really hard.

[23:01] You watch television when you go home and then she's like, shut up.

[23:04] And so it's this little glimpse of this horrible situation where this abusive mom is just routinely

[23:10] hitting her disabled child and then they mostly leave the movie. But it was like,

[23:15] oh, okay, so the movie was worried we weren't depressed enough.

[23:19] Yeah, let's literally wheel in someone to depress you more.

[23:22] Is there a way we could have Lars von Trier guest direct this scene?

[23:27] So anyway, one thing turns to another.

[23:31] His soul is escaping his body.

[23:32] Yeah, exactly. I was just thinking of that. I think it's a little bit of bad taste that they

[23:37] named Josh Brolin's character, Frank, when he kind of looks like Frankenstein's monster.

[23:44] He does a little bit, I guess, but like a cool, sexy Frankenstein.

[23:48] I don't know how they made I, Frankenstein, and weren't like Josh Brolin. Are you free?

[23:52] Because you totally still look like Frankenstein.

[23:54] J Brols, come on.

[23:57] I know you're working on Jonah Hex, too.

[24:01] Or Hexier.

[24:02] Hat-headed hand-huggers, part two. More hats, fewer hands.

[24:07] He's a good actor who's appeared in some bad things.

[24:09] Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of bad movies being made, and Josh Brolin is on their speed dial.

[24:13] He's a working actor, you know?

[24:14] Sure.

[24:15] That's true. Would you rather he be starving for his artistic principles, Dan?

[24:19] Yeah, you're right. I'm the real monster.

[24:21] Yeah, you are.

[24:22] Not Frankenstein's monster. Me.

[24:24] No, you are. I mean, the fact that you're a wolfman is part of it.

[24:27] Look, I'm just a little hairy.

[24:30] Ever since you were bitten by Wolfman Jack, the DJ.

[24:33] Sure.

[24:34] Anyway, one thing turns to another, and Adele and Frank, Kate Winslet.

[24:38] I mean, I think it's literally only one thing. Not very much stuff happens.

[24:42] That's true. This is a two-hour movie where there's maybe enough material for like a 15-minute

[24:46] student short, but they fall in love and they decide they're going to run away to Canada,

[24:50] where I guess he's going to get... I think they may have misunderstood how...

[24:53] To avoid the convict's draft.

[24:56] They can't draft me to jail if I'm in Canada.

[25:00] We've got no extradition with Canada.

[25:02] I think we actually do, so they'll never catch us.

[25:06] We can only get through the border patrols.

[25:07] Actually, the longest unguarded border in the world.

[25:11] So...

[25:13] Hold on. Keep going.

[25:15] Okay, I have to go on.

[25:17] But meanwhile, at the same time, Henry starts going out with a girl,

[25:21] and it's the kind of girl that you see in the movies where she's, I guess, manipulative and

[25:27] wise beyond her years. And by wise, I mean cynical and manipulative.

[25:31] She basically exists to sow the seeds of doubt in Henry's mind

[25:35] that this Frank character has replaced him in his mother's affections.

[25:40] So early on, I was a little confused because the movie mixes in these flashbacks

[25:46] to like Josh Brolin's past. I think only Josh Brolin's past.

[25:50] Only Josh Brolin's past.

[25:50] But then it also uses very similar methods to show this kid having fantasies of this girl.

[25:57] And it's a kind of strange choice for the movie to use the same

[26:00] style for both its fantasies and its flashbacks.

[26:03] Well, what is memory but a fantasy? We tell ourselves it's real.

[26:08] I mean, some of it's, you know, it's corroborated by multiple people.

[26:12] As some would say that fact and history have a way of merging into fiction and illusion.

[26:19] I believe it was Herodotus who said...

[26:22] No, keep going.

[26:23] That there were big ants in the desert that collected gold and had fur on them.

[26:27] Turned out that wasn't true.

[26:28] That's amazing.

[26:30] Why would you leave that part out?

[26:32] That's what he said though.

[26:32] How would you stop before we were getting to that?

[26:35] Did people ride on the ants?

[26:36] Or were they...

[26:37] No, no.

[26:37] Like, is this like an atomic army?

[26:39] No, no. They're like the size of like a dog.

[26:41] Okay. Was this like from nuclear testing? Like a vet?

[26:44] Yeah, it was from ancient Greek nuclear testing.

[26:46] Was that both the male and the female ants?

[26:49] Or were the females different?

[26:50] Like in Chiang Kai-shek's Perdido Street Station?

[26:53] Um, I don't remember.

[26:55] I think considering these animals never existed, in-depth studies were never done.

[26:59] But anyway, it is strange that the...

[27:02] I guess it's a way of showing interior monologue visually.

[27:06] But frankly, the kid's kind of sex flash fantasy was really the only part of the movie I liked.

[27:13] Because it...

[27:14] All right, be fair.

[27:16] We saw a few fleeting glimpses of some comic book covers from 1987.

[27:20] That's true.

[27:20] And old Cracks magazines.

[27:22] The parts we liked were, he goes and looks at a spinner rack of old comics.

[27:25] And we're like, oh, we read those.

[27:26] Although they were all DC books, which is not my wheelhouse.

[27:29] But then there's a part where it just pans across the room.

[27:31] Which is odd, because Clark Gregg's in the movie.

[27:34] Yeah, it should be Marvel books.

[27:36] But maybe they didn't want to get into the whole new universe thing that was happening around then.

[27:39] You know, suddenly everyone's just thinking about

[27:43] the behind-the-scenes conflicts that were going on at Marvel.

[27:47] And under Phil Shooter's leadership as editor-in-chief.

[27:50] You know, it's a whole can of worms that...

[27:51] Back in the 50s?

[27:52] No, in the 80s.

[27:53] Oh.

[27:54] It's a whole can of worms that Labor Day just doesn't have the time to open up.

[27:57] Yeah.

[27:58] So they had DC books.

[27:59] But like, it pans across this room and you see just the masthead of an issue of Cracked.

[28:05] You don't even see the full cover.

[28:06] All three of us are like, oh, Cracked.

[28:07] Cracked was so hostile to you.

[28:09] We talked about Cracked magazine for about six minutes.

[28:12] But like, his fantasy scene at least shows some...

[28:16] There's like some interesting style and technique there.

[28:18] And like, a little bit of visual trickery.

[28:21] It doesn't really get across what it is like for a young boy to fantasize about sex.

[28:25] Not really, but...

[28:26] I mean, that would be...

[28:28] You would have to have an X rating for the...

[28:31] To really get into the...

[28:31] Not necessarily, because a boy his age doesn't really know exactly how sex works.

[28:35] That's true.

[28:36] He's just interested in...

[28:37] He's interested in it, wants to do it, but doesn't know what it is.

[28:40] Yeah.

[28:41] Yeah.

[28:41] I mean, at that age, probably just some breasts would do it.

[28:45] But like, there's a shot of an image that he saw earlier...

[28:48] Just some breasts.

[28:49] Yeah, just random breasts flying through the air.

[28:53] Just your run-of-the-mill breasts.

[28:54] Not even special.

[28:56] Not even particularly good ones.

[28:58] Just open a door, there's some breasts behind it.

[29:00] Was Heavy Metal out at that point?

[29:02] I think so, yeah.

[29:03] Probably was fantasy.

[29:04] But he saw the girl in front of him in class.

[29:07] You could see through the back of her shirt just the back of her bra strap.

[29:10] I remember as a kid, that was really exciting to catch a glimpse of just the strap of a girl's bra.

[29:15] So that felt real to me in a way that the rest of the movie did not feel real at all.

[29:20] But what are you going to do?

[29:22] It's still not as good as the scene in The Ballad of Cable Hoag,

[29:25] where he sees the girl's cleavage and it just keeps flashing in his mind.

[29:29] But anyway, so they want to leave, but he starts worrying, I guess,

[29:35] that they're going to forget about him when they go to Canada together.

[29:39] And at the same time...

[29:41] Those worries are almost immediately dissolved.

[29:44] Yeah, but the mother of the disabled kid comes by and runs into Frank

[29:48] and sees this strange man in the house.

[29:50] Henry leaves a note at Clark Gregg's house saying,

[29:53] like, I'm going to go, but I'll be fine.

[29:55] So he gets suspicious.

[29:57] And one of these people...

[29:58] Yeah, we don't know.

[29:59] We don't know.

[30:00] Who?

[30:01] Did you mention The Beak?

[30:02] Did we get into The Beak?

[30:03] The Beak?

[30:04] The Beak?

[30:05] James Van Der Beek.

[30:06] No, Van Der Beek.

[30:07] And James Van Der Beek shows up for one scene as a cop who's not...

[30:09] He's also like a guy who may have gotten suspicious, we don't know.

[30:12] Okay, yeah, so...

[30:13] He was super tense.

[30:14] Yeah.

[30:15] There's a number of suspects who may have called the cops, but the important thing is the cops

[30:19] arrive, and Josh Brolin, because he's of course a saint, doesn't want them to get in trouble

[30:24] for harboring a fugitive, so he ties them up and pretends he kidnapped them.

[30:27] He goes to jail.

[30:28] He gets 10 years for escaping, 15 years for kidnapping.

[30:31] And we flash forward to the future.

[30:34] Oh, I forgot, there's a scene at a bank that I'll tell you about too that's really stupid.

[30:38] We flash forward to the future, and we find that the grown-up kid, Tobin McGuire, is now

[30:43] a baker.

[30:44] Famous for the pies he makes in the style the convict showed him.

[30:47] So he's an intellectual property thief.

[30:49] Yep.

[30:50] Well, he didn't copyright that pie.

[30:51] He didn't say copyright escaped convict.

[30:53] By the way, the thing that we joked about during the Gorston movie, the idea that this kid

[30:57] would grow up to be a master baker, became true at the end of the film.

[31:00] As opposed to the master baiter he was as a kid.

[31:02] Boom.

[31:03] Boom.

[31:04] You got burned, kid.

[31:05] We burned that fictional kid.

[31:07] Yep, he got burned.

[31:08] He got roasted.

[31:09] Yeah.

[31:10] Kid who looks like a young Alan Ruck.

[31:12] Yeah.

[31:13] He looks like he'll grow up to be Alan Ruck someday, which is not terrible.

[31:16] No, he's a great character actor.

[31:17] Good roles for Siddy, Cameron, and Chris Buehler.

[31:19] He was in a really good episode of Justified.

[31:21] Yeah.

[31:22] A lot of good stuff.

[31:23] What does he do?

[31:24] He was the dentist, right?

[31:25] Yeah.

[31:26] What does he do now?

[31:27] I mean, he invented the Rucksack, so he's rich.

[31:30] Oh, yeah.

[31:31] Acting is just a sideline.

[31:32] That's his hobby.

[31:33] He invented a lint roller he calls the Ruckin' Roller.

[31:37] And, of course, there's Ruck Rocks, which are just rocks he found that he'll mail to

[31:42] you for like a hundred bucks.

[31:44] The irony is he can't carry all of his riches in one of his patented Rucksacks.

[31:48] Yeah, they're too small.

[31:49] They're too small.

[31:50] Although, legend tells of Alan Ruck's original Rucksack that it, in fact, was a door to a

[31:55] pocket dimension that had no limits.

[31:58] Anything could be stored in it.

[32:00] And he used it on as many adventures outwith death and various witches.

[32:04] Well, the point is he's lived an amazing life.

[32:09] Many are the myths and legends of Alan Ruck, from how he won the role of Cameron in a card

[32:14] game with God, to how his years on Spin City were spent while also being the king of the

[32:24] elves.

[32:25] Sure.

[32:26] He was just a stand-in king of the elves for a little bit of time until the elf prince

[32:30] came of age.

[32:31] That elf prince's name?

[32:32] Matthew Broderick.

[32:33] Yeah.

[32:34] He followed his father, Oberon, to be real.

[32:38] His father, Oberon Ruck.

[32:40] Oh, Bron Ruck.

[32:43] I get it.

[32:44] Oh, yeah.

[32:45] Matthew Broderick.

[32:46] Oh, yeah.

[32:47] They're brothers.

[32:48] You didn't know that?

[32:49] Yeah, Alan Ruck is half elf.

[32:50] He's so tall you wouldn't know.

[32:51] Broderick means brother.

[32:53] In the elfentongue, Broderick, yeah, means brother of Ruck.

[32:58] You'll never find one like Ruck.

[33:01] He is blossom.

[33:03] Meet ye Ruck.

[33:05] Mustard seed.

[33:07] Mustard seed.

[33:08] Oh, there's that time, of course, when Alan Ruck's head was replaced with that of an ass.

[33:13] Yes, the tales.

[33:15] I could sit for hours spinning tales of Alan Ruck and his many quests.

[33:21] The many maidens he bedded and villains he foiled.

[33:26] The gold he found.

[33:28] The bed linens he soiled.

[33:31] The years he toiled.

[33:33] The seas that roiled.

[33:35] The girls he goiled.

[33:37] And, of course, and of course, and of course, Agent Coulson.

[33:43] A hardy fellow and a battle mate of Alan Ruck.

[33:49] And side by side, they fought, I guess, like the Red Skull and the King of the Norns.

[33:59] Oh, Alan Ruck.

[34:01] I would love, if this started an internet meeting, on the level of the Czech Norse meme,

[34:08] that Alan Ruck is a folk hero.

[34:11] He's like a Munchausen figure.

[34:14] He's a fairy tale hero.

[34:16] I heard it was Alan Ruck who killed the big bad wolf.

[34:19] Sure.

[34:20] And freed Little Red Riding Ruck.

[34:23] Tales of Alan Ruck riding that cannonball.

[34:25] The reason why the moon hides its face most of the time is for the shame that Alan Ruck gave it

[34:30] when bedding the wife of the moon became.

[34:33] And that's why the castles and chests are called Rucks.

[34:40] And why a mountain is made out of little rucks.

[34:43] They say he bore a child with a bear, Teddy Ruckspin.

[34:49] And so a bear that could speak English as if this man or woman roams the earth with his caterpillar friends.

[34:57] The caterpillar is not the child of Alan Ruck.

[35:03] And of course, who can forget Robin Hood's faithful sidekick, Friar Ruck.

[35:09] The name was corrupted over the years into Tuck,

[35:13] as of course was the basis of the book Ruck Everlasting.

[35:18] And, might I say, Ruck Norris.

[35:21] Father of Chuck Norris.

[35:28] In fact, in some counties in Ireland, they still say,

[35:31] Good Ruck to you.

[35:33] And to be surprised is still to have the Ruck pulled out from under you.

[35:44] For Alan Ruck allowed old men to stand on him when crossing muddy streams.

[35:51] And yet he would roll aside, thrusting the old grandfathers into the mud,

[35:56] as to have a hearty chuckle.

[35:58] Oh, he was a charming rogue.

[36:00] Oh, boy.

[36:01] So what movie are we talking about? Labor Ruck?

[36:04] Yeah.

[36:06] Oh, man.

[36:07] We're talking about The Legend of Ruckulese.

[36:09] We could talk about Ruck Tales till the cows came home.

[36:12] Ruck Tales, a woo-woo.

[36:14] Might solve a mystery.

[36:16] Maybe re-Ruck history.

[36:22] Ruckulese, you said?

[36:23] Yeah.

[36:24] The Twelve Labors of Ruckulese?

[36:25] Yeah.

[36:27] Or is that just Truckulese?

[36:32] And of course, Ruck's truck, he drove around in.

[36:35] Oh, boy.

[36:36] Who can forget when a young Robert Crumb met him and was inspired to say,

[36:40] Keep on Ruckin'.

[36:43] Words certainly do sound like other words.

[36:45] Keep on Ruckin' in the free world indeed.

[36:49] Sure do.

[36:50] So anyway, long story short,

[36:52] Josh Brolin goes to jail.

[36:53] He sees, years later, he sees a magazine article, I guess,

[36:56] in, like, Pie Monthly about Tobey Maguire's pie.

[36:59] Yeah, he literally says something like,

[37:01] That looks like a $1 million pie.

[37:03] Yeah.

[37:04] Hey, I know that pie.

[37:05] He writes in to Tobey Maguire, says,

[37:07] Can I see your mom sometime?

[37:08] I bet it belongs to a pie guy.

[37:11] You're from Super Mario Brothers?

[37:13] A pie guy meets my eye.

[37:15] So, you know, your pie struck my eye like a big pizza pie.

[37:20] And I thought,

[37:21] I want a moret.

[37:24] With your mom.

[37:25] When an eel something-something met some moret.

[37:28] So we get some old age makeup at the end, right?

[37:30] A tiny bit of old age makeup as Josh Brolin is reunited.

[37:33] Looks like Tobey Maguire.

[37:35] Reunited with Kate Winslet.

[37:37] And it feels so good.

[37:38] As old people.

[37:39] And thus the story comes to its conclusion, eh?

[37:42] And he literally says in his letter,

[37:45] You may remember I spent a Labor Day weekend with you once.

[37:49] So we get title.

[37:50] Like the kid is like,

[37:51] Oh yeah, I forgot that time a convict came to my house.

[37:55] I wasn't sure which convict you were

[37:57] that came over and my mom fell in love with you.

[37:59] But you know what?

[38:00] It was you.

[38:01] You had a beard, right?

[38:02] Is that you?

[38:03] Talking about pies?

[38:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[38:05] Kind of like a young Tommy Lee Jones.

[38:08] One idea that came up during the movie

[38:10] was a TV show called the Young Tommy Lee Jones Chronicles.

[38:14] Which would be him mostly, I guess, going to Harvard

[38:16] and becoming a young actor.

[38:18] Appearing in the Executioner's Song

[38:20] and The Park is Mine.

[38:22] Exactly.

[38:24] And that cheerleading movie, right?

[38:26] Man of the House?

[38:28] Manimal?

[38:29] Houseman?

[38:30] Manimal of the Houseman.

[38:32] How's the house money?

[38:34] So that's Labor Day.

[38:35] It's a...

[38:36] In a nutshell.

[38:37] Or a pie shell.

[38:38] I wasn't in a pie crust.

[38:39] I will say this.

[38:40] I give Jason Reitman credit for trying something different.

[38:43] I take away that credit for him.

[38:45] It's a movie that confuses

[38:47] slowness and quietness

[38:49] with seriousness and emotion.

[38:52] And it confuses

[38:54] characters looking at each other

[38:56] with characters feeling.

[38:57] Well, that's...

[39:00] Are there any final judgments?

[39:01] We spun so many tales of ruck

[39:02] that we probably shouldn't do this.

[39:03] Oh, and yet there are so more to behold.

[39:04] A thousand and one are rucky and nice.

[39:06] There's a lot of shots in this movie

[39:08] that kind of remind me of shots from

[39:11] Man of Steel.

[39:12] Okay.

[39:13] Where it's like...

[39:14] So that's also...

[39:15] But that's the thing.

[39:16] That's the thing.

[39:17] It's all ripped off Terrence Malick.

[39:18] But it's the idea of like

[39:19] imparting seriousness on bullshit.

[39:21] Yeah.

[39:22] Where it's like

[39:23] Josh Brolin's teaching them to make a pie

[39:25] or some other kind of food.

[39:27] And he'll let you pick up a knife

[39:29] and then it'll slow-mo on the knife

[39:31] while he reaches around Kate Winslet sexually.

[39:34] Yeah.

[39:35] I guess, yeah.

[39:36] It's like they're trying for a Terrence Malick feel.

[39:38] So when Terrence Malick makes movies

[39:39] they're about

[39:40] kind of humanity's place in the universe

[39:42] and how people emotionally connect to each other.

[39:45] Whereas this is just about like

[39:47] a prisoner who teaches a family how to make pies.

[39:49] Yeah, this guy with a goatee is a bad guy.

[39:51] Or is he not a bad guy?

[39:52] But he shaved off his goatee.

[39:53] He's a good guy now.

[39:54] Yeah.

[39:55] Well, that's the thing is

[39:56] I wish they had made of someone

[39:57] who really had a past he was ashamed of.

[40:00] Like who had done something bad. It was a bad man and

[40:04] To death this bad, but it is but they still they made it so that it was an accident

[40:09] He pushed her, but he didn't mean to do it. He's not responsible. He's a cuckold. So everybody can identify

[40:15] Exactly. All of us have been cuckolded except me or ruckled

[40:20] Because Alan Ruck danced from bed to bed

[40:22] They said there were many there was many a village where all the children born in one generation

[40:27] Had the telltale eyes of Alan

[40:33] Now that's a in fact

[40:35] They would I was gonna make a ruck you joke

[40:38] But anyway, yeah

[40:39] But it's they this I would rather seen a movie where mother where?

[40:43] Mother I go where this man caught a glimpse of the life that he wished he had

[40:47] But because of his own actions and he knows this it is closed off to him and he thought for a moment

[40:53] He might have a family but instead he's doing himself

[40:55] But instead it was all people caught in circumstance, you know

[41:01] Yeah, yeah, well, that's what I was like

[41:03] I think we can sexy pie making comedy kind of skip final judgments where we say whether there's a good bad movie a bad bad

[41:08] Movie or movie kind of light. I think we all

[41:10] Feel like it's a bad bad movie

[41:13] It's not terrible

[41:15] but what I would say about it is like I'm not sure why as you say they took a Harlequin romance and

[41:23] Just decided like oh

[41:24] let's throw a couple a-list actors at this because like this is just like I mean like

[41:28] the style and the content of it is so much just like sort of a board fantasy of like a

[41:35] kind of a dangerous man comes into this woman's life and

[41:40] But really it fills all of her needs both sexual and chores wise chores around the house

[41:45] I think like even before he shows up the they kind of introduced the characters of the house and the whole time

[41:50] We're like, well that needs fixing

[41:53] Take care of that one

[41:54] there's also a bunch of very ham-handed attempts to suspense such as when Kate Winslet your son go to take all their money out of

[42:01] the bank and

[42:02] Everyone at the bank immediately suspects them of something but they don't know what until the Sun breaks

[42:07] the attention by making a joke of their actual plan to run for the border like criminals because

[42:14] Early to live moss earlier Josh Brolin told them told him that it's easier to mislead people with the truth

[42:23] But it's like the characters have to fake that. They're really

[42:27] Nervous and the end the bank teller has to fake that she's really weirded out by what's happening

[42:32] And it's it's the suspense is very we're also in a town where everybody is super

[42:37] Interested in everybody else a small town like as soon as they're like, hey, shouldn't you be starting school tomorrow?

[42:43] Shouldn't you be starting school two weeks? Yeah, I'm disappointed on the first day of school. That's insane

[42:50] Your teeth need to learn let's just

[42:52] So bad bad final judgments now with what we do now down along into letters letters from listeners devoted listeners to the podcast

[42:59] Let's not know the podcast right and listeners of the podcast

[43:03] letters

[43:04] Devoted listeners not any of you fairweather fans. Just kidding. Send us some letters to

[43:11] Men and women boys and girls all over the world

[43:16] Send us your letters

[43:18] But first take those letters and put them into words that arrange the words into sentences

[43:26] With your name or someone else's if you're trying to frame them frame them with the name name them with the frame

[43:33] There's a lot of things that have been covered in this song. Then we'll bring your letter

[43:38] Okay, yeah, we bring every letter we get

[43:41] We use e-frames the digital frames that you put on email

[43:44] Yeah, sure this this podcast sponsored by e-frames the company that doesn't exist. I think we have a product that doesn't make sense

[43:52] this first letter

[43:58] Frames like this. Hello flop house. I'm only 12 years old, but I listened to your podcast. It's not a

[44:08] Mom mom, what's a tarp for some?

[44:12] I'm only 12, so I don't have a remark about a reference in some episode

[44:17] Well, he's really leaning on this the fact that he's 12, but yeah, he's 12. Thanks for writing in them

[44:21] My favorite flopper is Stuart near the future

[44:26] Because he's a totally rad dude, but Elliot and Dan have a tie for seconds. Oh, thanks

[44:32] Yes, who is excellent and I will keep on listening

[44:36] Keep on flopping from Connor last name with thanks. Connor. That was very nice

[44:40] Yeah, I do think that maybe your parents should keep a closer eye on what you listen to

[44:45] But your parents listen to you. No, I don't sleep. No, it's fine

[44:50] I've under the covers listen to you know, I guess I've watched it's keeping off the streets, you know

[44:55] I watched so many already movies as a kid as

[44:59] a result of my

[45:01] Parents laws a fair style of parenting and look I turned out. Okay. Yeah, mostly I mean you're kind of a pervasoid but otherwise

[45:08] No, I am the number one

[45:13] Your mom is always like did you hear about my son the number one pervasoid?

[45:22] Yeah, this kid says my son is a pervasoid is an honors pervasoid, you know

[45:27] My other car is the Sun

[45:31] But I yeah when I was 12, I was listening and watching too and reading so many things that are not appropriate

[45:39] Scarves a chariot

[45:41] This next letter during the after-earth discussion you lamented that there were no quality but centric science-fiction

[45:49] Outside of the foreign

[45:54] Guess we did. Well, I'm here to tell you

[46:02] Possible well, I'm here to tell you that you are wrong Robert Heinz Robert Heinz wins the

[46:11] Robert Heinz loins stranger to strange, but

[46:14] When I was a young man Isaac Asimov's

[46:18] Foundation in the butt

[46:19] brave, but furry

[46:22] Arthur C. Craig's 2001 about Odyssey the three laws of robustness

[46:28] One a butt cannot harm a human

[46:31] Action allow you to come to our do a butt must do whatever a human tells it unless it can win with the first rule

[46:36] And three a butt must say it must preserve its own life unless it conflicts with the first three. Oh, but must be sexy

[46:43] I

[46:48] Believed in silly things in the midst of middle school summer reading shopping

[46:52] I happened upon a book that would change my life forever

[46:56] The title of this historic tome you ask why it's the day my butt went psycho

[47:01] Oh, I know that book the whimsical tale of a young man whose posterior has run amok

[47:06] Having detached itself from our hero the titular rump has brought it upon itself. You learn

[47:11] We the revolt of the world's butts

[47:14] This is barely scratching the surface as the forward of the book puts it this book is full of just disobedient butts

[47:20] runaway butts psycho butts kamikaze butts

[47:24] Exploding butts cluster butts nuclear butts giant unwiped butts, but rallies, but catchers, but fighters

[47:30] But others but guns explosive, but canoes

[47:33] I fail to see how this is speculative fiction that either predicts where technology is going and comments on our social

[47:40] Relationships through the metaphor of a future or other world as a young preteen

[47:44] This was the funniest piece of literature. I had ever read and even now as an adult with a preteen sense of humor

[47:50] I still find a good chuckle from it now and again. I highly recommend a read if only out of curiosity

[47:55] Thanks for the laughs and keep up the good work yours and floppage Nick the last name withheld. Thanks, Nick

[48:00] Again, I don't know if it really fits in the SF genre no

[48:03] But I you know I appreciate you keeping me up to date on the latest or the oldest in but news

[48:10] Sure, all butts are cool, too, right? I guess me as long as their tone

[48:14] All right, well, we're getting into a weird like Jack Lillane's, but

[48:19] Batman

[48:20] blah blah boom

[48:22] So this next letter my darling peaches as I made my way through the water

[48:30] Dalloway I

[48:31] Was delighted by an offhand comment Elliot made in the happiest millionaire episode he mentioned another

[48:38] 1960s live-action Disney film the ugly dachshund and

[48:42] Instructed the floppers to write in if we had seen this classic. I am answering that clarion call. They tell you guys

[48:48] I've seen it

[48:49] The premise is a hilarious mix-em-up

[48:52] Which involves the nagging shrew of a wife bringing her dachshund to the vet to have a litter of puppies

[48:57] The vet is a kindly old dude who takes pity on the oafish put-upon husband by sneaking a great Dane puppy into the litter

[49:03] So the man will be stuck with a terrible wife and a house full of ankle biters

[49:07] We'll have a proper dog of his very own. I'm gonna take issue with the terms hilarious and

[49:14] At no point does the wife say well look there's a great Dane in this litter of dachshunds

[49:19] Everyone just accepts that this giant dog named Brutus

[49:22] Have a Marmaduke

[49:25] The ugly dachshund has it all

[49:27] Multiple scenes of canine antics in which the mischievous dachshunds make a huge mess and pit it on poor sweet Brutus

[49:34] 1960s Disney casual Asian racism a big dog show finale

[49:40] Actually, I think that's it. But what else do you need? I mean, there's a scene where an Asian caterer

[49:44] Mistakes Brutus the great Dane for a lion runs around a party screaming Ryan Ryan and their terrified state

[49:51] Destroys a Pocota. This was my favorite movie as a child

[49:55] Pagoda Pagoda

[49:59] The

[50:00] Stephanie is sitcom star Abe Pagoda.

[50:02] Dan, at this point, I would like to give you an appreciative shout out for being so steadfast

[50:09] amid all the chaos of your adorable co-hosts.

[50:14] I can only assume...

[50:15] Chaos is what you are the next Jews grove, so chaos.

[50:18] I can only assume...

[50:19] Dr. Chaos from the Planet of the Apes movies.

[50:21] I can only assume Elliot and Stuart have interrupted you several times by now.

[50:26] Well, we wouldn't if he said words properly.

[50:29] I talk so quickly because I'm trying to keep from being interrupted.

[50:33] It's a violent cycle.

[50:36] And by now, you have handled it graciously, truly making you the Brutus the Great Dane

[50:40] to Elliot and Stuart's pack of devious dachshunds.

[50:43] Y'all the best.

[50:44] Tessa Lassman with Hell.

[50:45] Thanks, Tessa.

[50:46] Thanks for writing in, Tessa.

[50:47] Again, I mean, it's not as advertised as my interest in butts, but I'm also interested

[50:53] in dachshund news.

[50:55] Really?

[50:56] Not really.

[50:57] Because I've only ever heard you talk about butts.

[50:59] I've never heard you talk about dachshunds.

[51:01] When it comes to stupid Disney live-action films of the 60s, definitely.

[51:04] Oh, sure.

[51:05] Okay.

[51:06] I love that.

[51:07] Okay, so send in that news.

[51:08] Yeah.

[51:09] B-Boy.

[51:10] So if you have any news stories...

[51:11] Anything about the nine lives of Thomasina?

[51:12] Anything about the million-dollar duck?

[51:15] Anything you got there.

[51:17] But moving on.

[51:18] The computer wore dog shoes.

[51:21] Pardon me.

[51:23] I will not.

[51:24] The next letter.

[51:25] You're going to the chair.

[51:27] You will not receive a pardon.

[51:29] It seems inevitable that a Black Friday-centered movie will make it in the near future.

[51:34] What?

[51:35] The movie?

[51:36] Friday?

[51:37] Oh, no.

[51:38] Okay.

[51:39] The Holiday Black Friday will be made in the near future.

[51:42] Holiday?

[51:43] Yeah, yeah.

[51:44] The Garry Marshall movie, Black Friday.

[51:45] A lot of people shopping.

[51:46] Oh, I thought it was like...

[51:49] Never mind.

[51:50] I misunderstood.

[51:51] This writer's question is, what will happen first, a Black Friday horror film in the style

[51:56] of The Purge, or a wacky Black Friday holiday movie, Christmas with a crank style?

[52:00] Which comes first, and how do you cast it?

[52:03] Thanks, dudes, and keep on flopping in the free world into 2014 and beyond.

[52:07] So this is a little...

[52:09] Dash, last name with L, former contest winner.

[52:12] I remember Dash.

[52:13] Nice to hear from you again.

[52:15] So if it's like a futuristic sci-fi horror movie, clearly it's like The Running Man.

[52:20] Yeah, yeah.

[52:22] With cool characters like Buzzsaw, Fireball, Dynamo.

[52:26] Buzzball, Firemo, and of course, Ruckus.

[52:32] Flat top.

[52:33] Ruckus.

[52:34] Fireball.

[52:35] Forever winner.

[52:36] Shoots a lot.

[52:37] The Rucking Man.

[52:38] That's why it's called The Rucking Man, because he was their only winner ever.

[52:41] Yeah.

[52:42] I think it would be a comedy, because you have all these different storylines, and they're

[52:46] all going to the same store to get the same item.

[52:48] Well, I mean, the movie's clearly going to be sponsored by Walmart.

[52:51] It's going to be an internship situation where Google's behind it.

[52:56] Yeah, unless it's like a found footage horror movie about people being stampeded to death

[53:00] as other people try to get $10 DVD players.

[53:03] I mean, $10 to watch a DVD.

[53:07] It's amazing.

[53:08] It's a good deal.

[53:09] It's a good deal.

[53:10] I mean, even...

[53:11] I mean, that's a digital, versatile disc.

[53:13] It's so versatile.

[53:14] And it's so digital.

[53:15] You can use it as a Frisbee.

[53:17] You can put your file on it.

[53:19] It's very versatile.

[53:21] The only way I can answer the question is if I heard the chapter titles for Point Break.

[53:29] So who would you cast in it?

[53:31] Your regulars.

[53:32] Your Hector Alessandro.

[53:33] Your Ashton Kutchme.

[53:36] Your Ben Grimsby.

[53:37] Yeah.

[53:38] Ben Grimsby.

[53:39] The Walmart inter-garminers.

[53:40] And of course, Owl Magical in a small role.

[53:43] Who else?

[53:44] Your Bradley Whoopsie.

[53:47] Yeah.

[53:48] I don't even know.

[53:49] Jessica Alberts.

[53:53] Your Shirlene McCrains.

[53:55] Your Willie Tallsalts.

[53:57] Look at this.

[53:58] Winston Lightbug.

[54:02] Yeah, of course.

[54:03] Your Susan Saran wraps.

[54:08] Speaking of Fract Magazine.

[54:13] Your Hanky Berries.

[54:14] Yeah, we're...

[54:16] And of course, your Alan Rucks.

[54:19] We have a really short last letter before we move on to our final ones.

[54:25] Hey guys, I ate mushrooms one weekend for the first time and somehow ended up listening to your show for the first time.

[54:33] Inappropriate.

[54:34] A long, slow, weird story short.

[54:37] I ended up listening to like half of your catalog that night.

[54:40] But the reason I'm emailing is because it didn't stop there.

[54:44] For the next two weeks, every movie I watched was narrated by the Flop Taps.

[54:48] It was awesome.

[54:49] I don't only feel like I know you guys, but that there's a psychedelic bond.

[54:54] Especially with Elliot.

[54:55] Dude, you rock.

[54:56] Travis, last name with Elliot.

[54:57] Thanks, Travis.

[54:58] It's really nice.

[54:59] The least likely one of us to do mushrooms is the one that...

[55:02] I already do not trust my perception of reality.

[55:04] I'm not going to make it any weirder.

[55:06] The number of times I think there's a thing behind me, only to turn around and find there's nothing there.

[55:11] I don't want to make that more.

[55:14] I always feel like somebody's watching you.

[55:16] Yeah, exactly.

[55:17] Or like I'm the hero of the Iron Maiden song, Fear of the Dark.

[55:24] He's a hero, right?

[55:25] Yeah, he's the good guy.

[55:26] He conquers over the dark.

[55:28] Yeah, he's the white hat.

[55:30] I feel like if anyone else has any Flophouse-related drug hallucinations, I would love to hear it.

[55:34] Sure, yeah.

[55:36] But now, other than us, we need to move on to the final segment,

[55:40] where we recommend the movie.

[55:42] The last of the night.

[55:44] This segment is final.

[55:45] Finish him.

[55:46] Flawless victory.

[55:47] Babality.

[55:48] Why don't I do that right away?

[55:50] Friendship.

[55:51] The bits that we haven't heard in a while.

[55:53] Radar is playing at...

[55:56] Ra-Row!

[55:57] How's it going?

[55:58] Uh-oh!

[56:00] So...

[56:01] R-O-C-K-N-E-S-A, etc.

[56:03] So, anyway...

[56:04] Is this the last episode, Dan?

[56:05] I don't know.

[56:06] It could be.

[56:07] If we're all hit by a bus tomorrow.

[56:10] So, movies that we want to recommend, that we enjoyed...

[56:14] I'll kick it off.

[56:15] This is when we recommend movies we didn't dislike.

[56:17] Yeah.

[56:19] Or to put it another way, movies we liked.

[56:21] When I was...

[56:22] Young, Life Was So Wonderful.

[56:24] When I was on vacation...

[56:27] He flew on a plane during that vacation.

[56:29] Guess what he watched on the plane?

[56:32] When I was in a hotel in London, I turned on the television.

[56:35] They call it telly there.

[56:36] After Telly Savalas, the inventor of the television.

[56:40] Wondering Eyes did appear.

[56:42] But the Crazies remake.

[56:46] And I want to recommend...

[56:47] With Josh Duhamel!

[56:48] No.

[56:49] Timothee Oliphant was in it, but...

[56:51] Timothee's Elephant!

[56:53] I want to recommend, actually, both versions of the Crazies.

[56:56] Both versions of the Crazies.

[56:57] I think that the first...

[56:58] That's crazy.

[56:59] The first version of the Crazies, now...

[57:01] Which stars my friend Natalie Stad.

[57:02] Really?

[57:03] Yeah.

[57:04] If you don't know the Crazies, it's basically George Romero

[57:07] Remaking his zombie movie.

[57:09] But it's a movie about...

[57:13] An evil...

[57:14] Like a military agent.

[57:16] Like an Agent Orange style.

[57:18] Like Agent Coulson.

[57:20] That is improperly disposed in this small town.

[57:25] Like Return of the Living Dead.

[57:26] And guess what people go?

[57:28] They go crazy.

[57:29] Yeah.

[57:30] And they start killing each other.

[57:31] And it's an interesting movie in a couple of ways.

[57:34] I feel like...

[57:36] Night of the Living Dead, the original...

[57:39] There's a lot of talk about...

[57:40] George Romero talks about how...

[57:42] He didn't really intend, necessarily, for it to be making a big societal point.

[57:46] Yeah.

[57:47] It was just the fact that there was colorblind casting of the main role

[57:50] that it took on this extra element.

[57:52] But the Crazies...

[57:54] He intended to just be the follow-up to his hit film, Romero and Juliet.

[57:57] Right.

[57:58] Well, the Crazies seems to be much more explicit

[58:01] taking on of the Vietnam War

[58:04] through a horror movie.

[58:05] So, it's interesting in that it's Romero reacting to his previous film in that way.

[58:10] But also, I was thinking about it...

[58:13] The Crazies was Romero...

[58:15] Romero started the whole modern zombie film.

[58:19] Like, he birthed that.

[58:21] But he also, with the Crazies...

[58:22] Provided his head, like Zeus.

[58:25] He anticipated where the zombie film eventually would go

[58:29] with his idea of like...

[58:30] Crazy.

[58:32] Zombies as something that's created by this virulent agent.

[58:39] Some sort of disease.

[58:41] Some umbrella core.

[58:42] Yeah.

[58:43] He basically invented the revisionist zombie movie himself later on.

[58:48] Which is kind of an interesting thing to think about.

[58:51] It's not as good as Night of the Living Dead, but it's a lot of fun.

[58:54] If you like a George Romero horror movie.

[58:57] And the remake is a surprisingly good modern horror movie.

[59:00] But it does not have my friend Natalie's dad in it.

[59:02] It does not.

[59:03] It does not have Will MacMillan in it.

[59:04] But it does have Josh Duhamel in it.

[59:06] No, it's got Timothy Olyphant.

[59:08] Timothy Olyphant?

[59:09] He's like the crazy version of Josh Duhamel.

[59:12] He's the rich man's version of Josh Duhamel.

[59:15] Which is ironic.

[59:16] Because Josh Duhamel played a character named Danny McCoy.

[59:20] I don't think that's ironic.

[59:22] Yeah, I don't understand the idea there.

[59:23] On a popular TVS rerun show...

[59:26] Lost Vegas.

[59:28] Anyway, the point is, I pretty much like Timothy Olyphant in anything.

[59:31] He's a good actor.

[59:32] He is.

[59:33] He's handsome.

[59:34] Very charming.

[59:35] I like him a lot.

[59:36] Liking him is justified.

[59:40] And also, Deadwood.

[59:42] Both the old and new versions.

[59:44] He's not Deadwood.

[59:45] I'll have to see the new one.

[59:46] I like the old one, but I haven't seen it.

[59:49] So what do you guys got?

[59:50] Who wants to go?

[59:51] Scoot, do you want to go first?

[59:52] Sure, I'll go.

[59:53] I'm going to recommend a movie I don't think you guys have recommended yet.

[59:56] And it's a movie that, by the time you're listening to this, will probably be out on the theaters.

[1:00:00] Which is too bad because it was really good. I'm gonna recommend edge of tomorrow

[1:00:04] I'm moving that there's been a number of think pieces. There's a lot of positive reviews

[1:00:09] There's not a lot I can say other than magazine

[1:00:12] If you haven't seen it yet, you should really give it a shot if the marketing campaign was not particularly great

[1:00:18] It was particularly terrible. Yeah, I'm looking at a poster right now

[1:00:21] That says the tagline for edge of tomorrow is live on the edge. They did their best selling Mountain Dew

[1:00:27] or

[1:00:29] They did there's a lot of pizza flavored snack did their best for this ad campaign to make it appear as generic and

[1:00:36] Oblivion II as possible as possible and I feel like at this point and not a phantasm for oblivion

[1:00:41] No, it is great. I'll tell you go see that

[1:00:43] That's part of the thing is that I feel like at this point a lot of movies

[1:00:47] Even though Tom Cruise is great in it and he's great in a number of movies a lot of times people don't want to see

[1:00:52] Tom Cruise because of Tom Cruise the person

[1:00:55] But that forgets the fact that he's a very yeah movie star exactly and he uses his movie stardom in a way

[1:01:04] In this movie

[1:01:06] He's funny. He knows his persona on screen so well now and he could use it as a tool

[1:01:11] So yeah, do the performances in an interesting way and Emily Blunt is amazing. She's amazing

[1:01:18] So totally don't go see Lucy go see this. I mean don't go see Lucy

[1:01:22] Lucy Lucy, I mean Lucy continues to pass on the myth that people only use 10% of their brains

[1:01:27] Just you use 10% of your I don't know

[1:01:31] Money in your pocket. I don't want to see Lucy though

[1:01:34] Well, you can do that, but you've already seen I see it. All right, so I've seen so I get a hall pass for that

[1:01:42] We don't come back stick it on Lucy

[1:01:45] Better wash that shit off. Lucy is basically doesn't her burritos

[1:01:48] Just

[1:01:50] As a reference to them with the dirt the molly group, but yeah

[1:01:56] Burritos

[1:02:02] Less extreme fucking a burrito that was gonna take the owner of another

[1:02:10] Other women

[1:02:13] Bits and pieces because what I've been blown up

[1:02:18] Having sex in a battlefield a little too gynecological earlier in the podcast. Oh, it's too late. The 12-year-old has heard at all. Sure

[1:02:27] No, I'd like to recommend two movies, but real quick. Whoa. One is a big-budget movie that's in the theaters now

[1:02:33] It's called dawn of the plan of the Apes and it is the second of the new planet of the Apes movies

[1:02:38] And I thought it was really great

[1:02:39] If anything, I liked a little bit more than the last plan of the Apes movie, which I also that was really good

[1:02:43] So you'd say wake up to this don't

[1:02:46] I would I would say there's a scene where an ape on horseback

[1:02:51] Wielding a machine gun jumps through a wall of fire and it was that from that point

[1:02:55] I realized this is why movies were invented

[1:02:57] That image justifies the entire history of film and all the billions upon billions of dollars that have been poured into this art

[1:03:03] It's like the image your mind created when watching 2001 and a standing in front of that obelisk right and holding the bone

[1:03:10] I mean, that's a great image to

[1:03:15] And some fucking fire

[1:03:17] And the other movie I like to write a little talk Kubrick is I'm a big fan of Steve Coogan's show

[1:03:24] I'm Alan Partridge and the Al Partridge care of yours down first

[1:03:27] And I just recently watched finally the movie Alan Partridge alpha papa which came out last year

[1:03:32] I guess or I think you guys are the others. It's just called out Alan Partridge. I think on Netflix

[1:03:37] It's listed as out around alpha papa, which is the u.s. UK title

[1:03:40] It's not a good title, but I found it to be really funny and it's not the most

[1:03:46] amazing movie but like for considering it's the it's the only comedy that's new that I've seen in a while where I was like

[1:03:52] Constantly laughing and a lot of those just because Steve Coogan is so funny in that character

[1:03:57] And he has a lot of great lines and they don't go too big with the story like it's not Alan Partridge

[1:04:04] Solving a murder mystery. It's not him on a big adventure

[1:04:07] His bag doesn't get mixed up with a spy's bag and he's on the run. Like it's a pretty small scale

[1:04:13] story, but

[1:04:14] Done with a lot of humor and a little bit of heart

[1:04:17] well, I I read a review with the you know, I think it might have been over at the dissolve or they made a good point where

[1:04:24] They're just saying that it's an interesting movie too because they're putting a character who is resolutely

[1:04:30] Self-interested in a position where he has to be like at least a little bit of a hero

[1:04:34] So that makes for a good comedic conflict

[1:04:37] But he is his still his self-interest are constantly getting in the way of him doing anything heroic. He's still an asshole

[1:04:42] Yeah, and hey, who's that? Miles O'Brien from Star Trek the next generation Deep Space Nine. Is he in it?

[1:04:48] Yes, he is. Is that Odo? No. No, Miles O'Brien is the character

[1:04:52] Call me. Um real quick. I'm gonna jump in and I won't make a second second recommendation

[1:04:58] Well, I'm pressing this is there's nothing in the rulebook that says he can't

[1:05:03] I just want we know here

[1:05:08] Nothing the rule this is a dog can't recommend a movie

[1:05:11] I want to recommend you a dog

[1:05:12] I want to recommend what I would consider to be a

[1:05:15] Great bad movie a movie that is the type of movie that I wish every time we sit down for movies

[1:05:21] Flop has been your heart. Yeah

[1:05:24] last weekend

[1:05:25] I participated in a flop house Facebook group who watch where members of the group on the Facebook page watch movie

[1:05:33] We watch double dragon

[1:05:35] Which is amazing?

[1:05:37] Okay, if you haven't seen double dragon, it's on Netflix. Watch it. It is amazing. I stop Patrick is insane

[1:05:43] I stopped by Stuart's apartment when he was finishing watching this. That's right. We hang out in real life jealous and

[1:05:50] It's a it's pretty crazy. So yeah, if you haven't joined our Facebook group

[1:05:56] It's fun. If you want to see some of the zaniest unless you're a fucking sex bomb

[1:05:59] Yeah, take that Ray-Ban wait, wait if you're a sex pod feel free to join that's

[1:06:05] Sponsors us is because they're too busy setting sex spots to infiltrate us for

[1:06:10] Sex boss that feelings too. If you're not if you're not nice, maybe don't

[1:06:15] I

[1:06:16] Feel like I feel like one was smaller

[1:06:18] Like it was easier to keep out people who are maybe harassing people. Wow, is that been a problem lately?

[1:06:24] As as the as the group grows larger it grows more like the Internet at large

[1:06:30] I see well harass anybody harass me

[1:06:33] Yeah, as your can take it as Kurt Vonnegut once said be nice on the Flophouse Facebook page

[1:06:41] But those are your cats cradle, right? Yeah. Yeah and the silver spoon

[1:06:45] Grapes when you got them coming home Stuart. I don't know when

[1:06:49] Let's get together. That's great recommendation. We can show

[1:06:53] Now

[1:06:56] We need to sign off let's wrap it up gather around

[1:06:59] Elliot's feet and listen to more tales of Brooke. Oh, yes children gather ye round gather ye round

[1:07:06] For now the story of how ruck

[1:07:08] Deceived the Baba Yaga and won the rights to the chicken leg house

[1:07:13] And turned it into condos and won the rights the movie boot

[1:07:17] Trip

[1:07:20] Only to lose them in an arm-wrestling match with the Giants

[1:07:24] But before we the moral of the story is ruck happens

[1:07:28] So we'll take that story off air in the meantime. I've been Dan McCoy

[1:07:33] I've been Stuart

[1:07:35] Well in town and and I will continue to be Elliot Kalin as long as I can help it. Good night, everyone

[1:07:48] The lips the teeth the tip of the tongue

[1:07:58] Gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today

[1:08:02] mush mush

[1:08:04] Lurk mush glug glug

[1:08:07] your mad magazine

[1:08:10] My warm-ups

[1:08:14] Wrong homeboney

[1:08:17] Turn. Shalom

The Flop House: Episode #158 - Labor Day

Transcript

Description