FH Mini 129 - When Animals Compete

[0:00] Hey, everybody, this is Stuart Wellington of the Flophouse podcast, and I'm here to

[0:09] welcome you to another Flophouse mini.

[0:11] Now the Flophouse is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and talk about it, but on the

[0:14] mini episodes, we do other stuff.

[0:17] But before I get into what we're going to be talking about today, let's introduce the

[0:20] hosts.

[0:21] I'm one of them.

[0:22] My name's Stuart Wellington, and joining me are...

[0:24] Another of them, Dan McCoy.

[0:26] And the third and final of them, Elliot Kalin.

[0:29] Absolute final.

[0:30] So...

[0:31] After me, the deluge.

[0:33] The omega.

[0:34] Yeah.

[0:35] So, guys, inspired by a recent Flophouse movie, Better Man, I thought it would be fun for

[0:42] us to explore some of our favorite animals of movie-dom.

[0:46] OK.

[0:47] See, animals are a huge part of movies.

[0:49] Animal characters, animal performers.

[0:51] Once a whole animal house.

[0:53] Once an entire house made of animals.

[0:55] Yeah.

[0:56] So...

[0:57] Well, how much better would that movie be if it was about a house made out of animals?

[1:00] Yeah, but I mean, like, the building authority...

[1:02] It's Dan's favorite comedy, Elliot.

[1:03] Why don't you...

[1:04] Fine people for that one.

[1:05] Not a good way to...

[1:06] That's one of those animal houses.

[1:08] I mean, I'm sure people will disagree with me in some ways about this.

[1:11] Animal House, for me, has always been right up there with Caddyshack.

[1:13] One of these movies where everyone's like, isn't this the funniest movie of all time?

[1:16] And I'm like, I just don't like it.

[1:17] It's just not for me.

[1:18] There's...

[1:19] So there's a lot in it that, like, I have come to realize the problems of.

[1:25] But when I first saw it, I found it a lot funnier than Caddyshack.

[1:29] I will make a mild argument that I think that the people who are assholes in Animal House,

[1:35] aka everyone, basically, like, we're not supposed to necessarily think that the bad, the slob

[1:41] house is any better than the slob house.

[1:43] No, I mean, it's called Animal House because they're acting like animals.

[1:45] Like they're not...

[1:46] Yeah.

[1:47] Yeah, it's not a...

[1:48] But, yeah, there's also stuff in it that did not age.

[1:50] Anyway.

[1:51] Oh, sorry.

[1:52] Are we interrupting a mini or something, Stuart?

[1:55] No, no, no.

[1:56] We're talking about Animal House.

[1:57] No, please, interrupt away.

[2:00] That's what the flop house is, a digression engine.

[2:04] So what we're doing...

[2:06] That sounds like a good either science fiction action movie or spy movie digression engine.

[2:12] So we're going to be talking about different animal characters from filmdom.

[2:17] I've broken them down into general categories.

[2:19] OK.

[2:20] So what I'm going to do is present a category and I'm going to list some famous examples

[2:24] of them.

[2:25] And then we're each going to take time explaining who our favorite, what are our favorite, what

[2:31] we think the best is, the perfect, whatever.

[2:33] We're going to make a case for it.

[2:34] OK.

[2:35] We're going to argue.

[2:36] OK.

[2:37] There's six categories.

[2:38] So we're going to do the first category.

[2:41] And obviously, if I if I don't list your favorite, you can go off my record.

[2:45] You don't have to use my recommendation.

[2:46] You can go off menu.

[2:47] OK, great.

[2:48] We can go off menu.

[2:49] So we're going to start with the the biggest one.

[2:52] OK, this is this is arguably the hot one.

[2:55] We are starting with the canine category.

[2:59] That's right.

[3:00] Oh, you mean biggest, like most popular, most popular animals.

[3:04] Yeah.

[3:05] Except for Clifford, I guess.

[3:06] Yeah.

[3:07] Except for Clifford.

[3:08] Oh, I should have written Clifford down.

[3:09] Not off menu.

[3:10] Not Martin Short.

[3:12] OK.

[3:13] That's not a dog.

[3:15] Not a dog.

[3:16] No.

[3:17] OK.

[3:18] So that some perfect examples.

[3:19] Some perfect examples are Air Bud, Beethoven from the Beethoven franchise.

[3:23] Oh, Benji from Immortal Beloved.

[3:26] OK.

[3:27] Yeah.

[3:28] No.

[3:29] Toto.

[3:30] Not the band.

[3:31] No, not the band.

[3:32] I know.

[3:33] I saw you jumping at it.

[3:34] Yeah.

[3:35] I just like from the Dune soundtrack.

[3:36] Oh, OK.

[3:37] Marley from Marley and Me.

[3:38] Mm hmm.

[3:39] Mm hmm.

[3:40] Lassie.

[3:41] Hooch.

[3:42] OK.

[3:43] Turner and Hooch.

[3:44] Hooch is on there.

[3:45] I was like, this motherfucker doesn't get that.

[3:46] Yep.

[3:47] And though this isn't the name of the character.

[3:48] I'm going to say that dog that was in both Widows and Game Night.

[3:52] That was a that was a good year for that one dog.

[3:53] That little like white fluffy dog that played Jesse Plummons and Viola Davis's dog.

[3:57] Yeah.

[3:58] You know what I'm talking about?

[3:59] That was that was like that one year when Helen Hunt was in every movie.

[4:02] But for that dog.

[4:03] Yeah.

[4:04] That dog was in every movie.

[4:05] Yeah.

[4:06] You don't remember that dog, Dan?

[4:07] Uh.

[4:08] The one that Jason Bateman bleeds all over and Brian Tyree Henry Threatens.

[4:10] I mean, I in my head, I'm seeing a dog now, but it's maybe just because you describe a

[4:16] type of dog.

[4:17] And now I'm plugging that into an invented memory.

[4:20] So it's weird, Dan, that then you would say that it was your favorite dog since you don't

[4:24] really remember it.

[4:25] No.

[4:26] OK, so do you guys have any favorites of these dogs that I've listed?

[4:28] Who's the ultimate dog?

[4:29] Speaking of professional dogs, I am fond of the dog whose real name in real life is Mushroom,

[4:38] who played the dog in both Gremlins and Pumpkinhead.

[4:41] Yeah.

[4:42] Yeah.

[4:44] Yeah.

[4:45] A top dog actor.

[4:46] Not top dog.

[4:47] Nope.

[4:48] It's a different dog.

[4:49] But one of the top dogs.

[4:50] Do you have a favorite dog character, Elliot?

[4:52] Favorite dog character?

[4:53] Yes.

[4:54] Because multiple dogs play this dog.

[4:55] But in the Thin Man movies, of course, there's Aska, the white haired terrier, I believe,

[4:59] who is he.

[5:00] He's a member of the family.

[5:01] He has a couple of he's one of the few dogs who does comedy reactions to things that I

[5:05] actually find funny, especially at the very end when he covers his eyes, when Myrna Lloyd

[5:10] and William Powell are just banging on that train.

[5:14] I love that dog.

[5:15] So that's a great dog.

[5:16] I mean, and some of that sure is residual love for that movie, The Thin Man.

[5:19] But it's one of those things where it's like, if this is the dog that's cool enough to be

[5:22] in The Thin Man, this is a cool dog.

[5:24] You know it.

[5:25] Yeah, it's a cool dog.

[5:26] I mean, I'm going to say like, it's really hard to top Air Bud.

[5:29] I mean, that's a dog that plays basketball and other sports, guys.

[5:32] It's a pretty impressive dog.

[5:34] I feel like setting the precedent that if it's not explicitly spelled out in the rulebook,

[5:39] then anything goes.

[5:40] I think it's had negative effects on the country ever since Air Bud.

[5:44] And that's not Air Bud's fault.

[5:45] Obviously, he didn't intend that.

[5:46] But it's hard for me not to not to look at the domino effect of the Air Bud series.

[5:50] Yeah.

[5:51] So you're saying there's something about seeing a dog winning that much.

[5:54] No.

[5:55] Cause some negative has caused some toxicity amongst a certain type of person who might

[6:01] be foiled by a dog like that.

[6:03] Exactly.

[6:04] So you're saying that Air Bud is a stress test for sports and then as an extension of

[6:10] American democracy.

[6:11] I'm saying if the sports referee system cannot keep an animal out of a human sport.

[6:16] And I'm not saying all humans should be able to play sports.

[6:18] I have no problem with different kinds of humans playing sports.

[6:21] But the idea of, let's say, a dog or a muskrat or an alligator or I mean, then you get the

[6:26] TV show Man vs. Beast, where you have people in a tug of war with, I think, an elephant.

[6:31] That's not fair.

[6:32] Elephants are enormous.

[6:33] It's true.

[6:34] And eventually you get to the point where anything goes and we're in a war of all against

[6:38] all.

[6:39] The basic idea of a community has, you know, fabric has disintegrated.

[6:42] In one of my previous newsletters, I did a comic where there's like a hawk taking off

[6:49] Air Bud, like stealing Air Bud from the court.

[6:52] And it said nothing in rule book said that a hawk can't take the dog.

[6:56] I forget what the wording was, but it's like the problem with the Air Bud doctrine is that

[7:01] it leads to this kind of, you know, race of escalation.

[7:05] There's literally nothing in the basketball rule book that says you cannot garrote the

[7:08] players of the opposing team because they felt they didn't need to put that in there.

[7:12] But it's not in the rule book.

[7:13] So just a norm is the garroting wire.

[7:16] Yeah, exactly.

[7:17] Yeah.

[7:18] Just put no garrot in there.

[7:19] Just put norm from cheers on the field.

[7:22] There's nothing in the rule book that says a norm can't take over.

[7:25] It's an all norm team.

[7:26] Norm from cheers that Ganome named Ganorme.

[7:30] Other norms.

[7:31] Do you have any other norms the name or I think there's a super normal man, you know,

[7:35] that should that could be norm.

[7:36] I don't have any other norms.

[7:37] Now, I do like I listed Beethoven from the Beethoven franchise.

[7:41] I have to say I'm a big fan of Charles Grodin getting a fat paycheck.

[7:48] That's not the dog.

[7:49] Yeah, the dog didn't make that decision.

[7:50] You guys ever see Marley and also if you want Charles Grodin to get a fat paycheck, then

[7:54] maybe Clifford with Martin Short is the Clifford you should have on that list.

[7:57] Yeah, I didn't see Marley and huge financial windfall for him.

[8:01] To me that so there's a genre of movie that I think we could call sort of dog tear jerker.

[8:09] Yeah.

[8:10] Like it.

[8:11] It's like, yeah, the dog's going to die.

[8:13] So I shouldn't just shorten it to dog jerker, right?

[8:16] So it's a different job.

[8:19] That's a job.

[8:20] Yeah.

[8:21] For some people.

[8:22] I mean, if you love what you do, you work a day in your life.

[8:27] You do jerk a day in your life.

[8:28] Yeah.

[8:29] So Dan, continue.

[8:30] I mean, I'm not necessarily seeking out a movie where it's just like, I know I'm going

[8:33] to be sad because this dog is going to die at some point.

[8:36] Like now I said, spoiler, spoiler, you're not a spoiler.

[8:40] Skip ahead.

[8:41] If you don't want a spoiler for a random movie that you won't know what it is, it's Mel Gibson

[8:46] where a dog does get shot.

[8:47] Yes.

[8:48] But, you know, I was excited to see who.

[8:49] I'm sorry.

[8:50] It was.

[8:51] It was not.

[8:52] What's the one with Mel Gibson where he's where it's the remake of Point Parker Payback

[8:55] is.

[8:56] Yeah.

[8:57] Yeah.

[8:58] Payback.

[9:00] I was excited to see a hooch on that list.

[9:02] Hooch does get killed saving Tom Hanks at the end of Turner and a hooch.

[9:06] I mean, if a dog is going to save a human being, I feel like Tom Hanks is not the worst.

[9:10] Well, it's like as a monster he rules of roe dog roe dogics that a dog has to has to protect

[9:14] itself.

[9:15] But a dog has to a dog cannot allow a human to come to harm.

[9:19] A dog must obey all orders unless it conflicts with rule number one of roe dogics.

[9:24] And a dog must protect himself unless it conflicts with the previous two rules.

[9:27] That's that's Isaac as a dog's rules of roe dog.

[9:30] That's from I.

[9:31] Dog.

[9:32] Dog.

[9:33] Dog.

[9:34] Dog.

[9:35] Dog.

[9:36] Dog.

[9:37] I don't know why you have to.

[9:38] But like I didn't walk into that movie thinking like, oh, this dog's going to bite it at the

[9:41] end.

[9:42] It just looked like a fun movie about a dog top.

[9:44] You thought it was just a fun movie about a dog that drinks beer.

[9:47] Yeah.

[9:48] Yeah.

[9:49] Also, I just need.

[9:50] But before anybody.

[9:51] Dan, I've got some bad news about Spence McKenzie died in a tragic surfing accident.

[9:57] Yeah.

[9:58] Yeah.

[10:00] funny. No, you're right. It was one of those surfing accidents where a dog dies, but it's

[10:02] funny. So yeah, you're right. Okay. So these are some strong arguments. Uh, anybody, anybody

[10:10] have some final, final statements here? If I was sticking to the menu you provided, Beethoven

[10:15] would have been my choice as well. Beethoven's pretty good. He slobbers like he slobbers

[10:19] like crazy, right? Big slobbery dog. If I'm watching a movie, I'd rather see a big slobbery

[10:24] dog than a little yappy dog. Yeah. That's why I didn't put Beverly Hills Chihuahua on

[10:28] this list because I felt like it was a real outlier and I'd be surprised if anyone made

[10:32] a case. I mean, I, the, the thing about, um, mushroom in gremlins, I can't remember the

[10:39] actual character's name, but, uh, Kate, Kate's, uh, right. But, uh, you know, Dante always

[10:50] talks about how like Dante, the poet. Yes. Don't say the poet. Joe Dante always talks

[10:56] about how great, um, that dog is because it reacted to the gremlins and to the mogwai

[11:01] as if they were actual animals. He's great. And then that dog is great in that movie.

[11:07] Yeah. Uh, reaction. Now I didn't, I actually didn't put any animated dogs in those lists.

[11:12] Am I, are there any animated dogs that might have a chance at the crown? There's all the

[11:16] ones that go to heaven. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Balto. Yeah. Yeah. Balto certainly went

[11:21] to heaven. Yeah. After what he did. Yeah. There's a good dog. There's nanny from Peter

[11:26] pan. Right. Yep. Um, which as a kid, I always was confused about whether that dog was actually

[11:31] their job. Yeah. There's the tramp and also lady and also that, you know, the stars, that

[11:38] Scottish dog sad about wiser dog in the prison who sings about fucking tramp. Yeah. I feel

[11:47] like, I feel like we've made a strong case for some of these dogs. Obviously listeners,

[11:51] uh, take issue with any of these rankings, feel free to, I don't know, comment on our

[11:54] social media posts. Yeah. Right in, right. Give us a nice review. Yeah. Please give us

[11:59] a nice review. So we're on our, onto our next category. This is the equine category horses,

[12:04] baby horses. Here's if there's any other animal that people feel a connection to besides dogs,

[12:10] it is horses. Okay. So we have our texts from never ending story.

[12:16] Seabiscuit. Hmm. I think I know somebody who's a fan secretariat spirit, the stallion of the

[12:23] Cimarron Hidalgo and shadow facts. Wait, wait. I recognize that name, but where's shadow facts

[12:32] from? I don't know. Oh, it's the steed of one Gandalf, the white. Oh, okay. Oh, okay.

[12:38] They're not a major character. That's the, uh, what, why does that horse get special,

[12:43] uh, private place? Cause it's dope as hell. The steward is the one running the mini that's

[12:47] other horses though. Like I, why is that the only one that the great thing is that now it's your

[12:52] turn to make a case for a different horse. Are you going to say trigger? I don't mean like, I don't,

[12:59] do you have a personal favorite horse? Yeah. What's your favorite horse? The black stallion

[13:03] is the world's most popular horse. That's true. I don't know. What does he sound like Dan? If he

[13:08] was here, well, Hey, I just stopped by her. People will talk in my name, but I gotta go

[13:16] horse moves so fast. He never sticks around. He never sticks around. That's the thing.

[13:20] I was going to say, I was going to say our tech Stewart. That was the thing. Like that,

[13:22] that horse is the soul of that movie until he, you know, sinks into the despair swamp or

[13:27] whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Spoiler. He just gives up, you know, that's what's so sad about it. Cause

[13:32] he's so full of spirit. He's the spirit of the Cimarron. You know? Yeah. What a,

[13:36] what a crusher of a moment in this movie, right? Yeah. There's that war horse. People

[13:41] likes that. Yeah. You like war horse. I didn't see it now. Now does the strider that they ride

[13:47] in the dark crystal count as a horse? It's not technically a horse, but they ride it like a

[13:50] horse. I mean, that's pretty cool. That's a cool argument. Um, do we want to explore,

[13:55] do you want to allow it, Dan? What? Sorry. I think that's the horses. Are you going to,

[14:00] are you going, are you trying to list the leads from the movie thoroughbreds is a,

[14:07] is a Pegasus a horse? We'll call it a horse. Yeah, sure. Cause I like that horse from, uh,

[14:12] what do you call it? The person Jackson's Oh, Clash of the Titans. Yeah. Yeah. From the

[14:17] tri-star logo. I mean, that's a pretty popular horse. Um, any other, we got our texts, obviously

[14:24] shadow facts. That's a powerful horse. If it wasn't for that Gandalf couldn't be all over

[14:30] the place. He'd have to ride an Eagle or something stupid. Right. And shadow facts ride an Eagle to

[14:35] ride a horse. Yeah, sure. Oh man. He's so, it's so cool. Is that a horse that gets whispered to

[14:41] have a name? No, that's why they whisper to it. They don't embarrass it by not, by not having a

[14:46] name. I think there's a final horse. It's funny. I love, I've watched, I've watched so many

[14:51] Westerns in my life and yet it's usually the horses are not treated as full characters.

[14:56] They're just kind of like treated like vehicles that you can pick up or drop off,

[15:00] but you'd think there would be more Westerns that where there's a much stronger relationship

[15:05] with the horse specifically. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure there are some, but there's not as many as

[15:09] you think. Radio and TV more than the movie that everyone did not care for. But like silver

[15:16] obviously is the one that comes to mind in terms of like Western horses, the Lone Ranger's horse.

[15:20] But you were going to, you were going to say the horse from Hot to Trot with Bobcat

[15:25] was going to say that horse. That's my favorite horse. Any horse that's hot to trot.

[15:33] My favorite is either that horse or when his dad, who is a horse comes back reincarnated as a horse

[15:38] fly. You know, that's also, you know, does that happen? Yeah. In Hot to Trot? Yeah. Do I have to

[15:45] watch Hot to Trot again? No, you have to. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. The government says you have to watch

[15:49] Hot to Trot now. Yeah. I thought you were going to say it was the Supreme Court, Dan. In the end,

[15:55] Robert's side of the conservatives that said you do have to watch Hot to Trot again. Yeah.

[16:00] I can't wait to read the dissent. They say they're for small government,

[16:04] but they're making me watch Hot to Trot again. Yeah. It feels like, I think you're right. Like

[16:11] when I was putting this category together, I was like, I feel like horses are such a natural,

[16:15] like horses are such a big part of movies for such a long time that there would have

[16:19] been a ton of ones that's like jumped out to me, but they're kind of aren't.

[16:23] No, they're treated as props more than as characters a lot of the time. And I wonder

[16:26] if that's because there's, I feel, I think that by the time movies were being made, this is a

[16:32] theory I'm making up off the top of my head. Most moviegoers did not have close relationships with

[16:36] horses the way that they might to a pet, you know, a dog or a cat or something like that.

[16:41] Whereas in earlier times, I think people would have had a much, much closer relationship to a

[16:45] horse. I mean, like by the time movies are being shown in cities, there's fewer and fewer horses

[16:49] in cities, you know, and stuff like that. So if you're making a lot of movies set on the mean

[16:53] streets of New York, there's not gonna be a lot of horses there. And if you're making a lot of

[16:56] movies set in, you know, what's a famously horseless city, like a city that banned horses?

[17:03] Are there any? Venice? Tokyo. Yeah, Venice. If you're making movies set in Tokyo or Venice,

[17:08] you're not gonna have a lot of horses there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Curaçao? Can't put a horse

[17:13] there. No horses. OK, so we're going to move on to the next category. This is the rodent category.

[17:21] Mice, rats, etc. Capybaras. Sure. Yeah. You got things like Stuart Little things. Characters

[17:28] like Stuart Little. OK. Five Old Mouskowitz. Mm hmm. Remy from Ratatouille. Yep. Socrates

[17:36] from Willard. Uh huh. Ben from Ben. And a personal favorite, Mrs. Brisby from Secret of NIMH.

[17:46] Yeah. Frisbee. Well, Frisbee in the book. Frisbee in the book. Oh, it's Frisbee in the movie. I

[17:51] didn't even know that. Because of Frisbee, The Flying Disc. Yeah. I didn't know that. I know

[17:56] the book so much better than the movie. Mm hmm. Yeah. I was going to be mad if Frisbee wasn't on

[18:00] there because it's a hot mouse. I had kind of a crush on Mrs. Brisby as a kid. I watched. Did

[18:05] you have more of a crush on Mrs. Brisby or on Gadget from Rescue Rangers? Good call.

[18:12] Frisbee for me. I mean, I think ultimately. She's a single mom, dude. Gadget. But it's a

[18:18] MILF, a mouse I like. Frisbee was a formative, confusing cartoon crush. And I have to go with

[18:26] Mrs. Brisby because. But, you know, she shows so much heart through that movie. And so ultimately

[18:33] the power of her heart saves her family. Yeah. Yeah. It's a dope movie. Yeah. Beautiful,

[18:39] beautiful film. Yeah. I was glad you put Fievel on there. Again, that's my family's story. That's

[18:43] my ancestor's story. So, you know, I've got to I've got to stand up for Fievel, you know,

[18:48] that we came to this country from another country seeking safety. And then we went out west. Yeah.

[18:54] Eventually went west. I don't think I ever went as west as as as northern New Jersey.

[18:59] I never saw Fievel Goes West. Is this a pretty bonkers movie in some ways? It is. It is much.

[19:06] It's much less of a tightly told story than an American tale. OK, so what? It's just like an

[19:11] anthology story of Western stories. Yeah, exactly. It's like Buster Scruggs. Yeah. But they're all

[19:16] mice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I feel like Mrs. Brisby is an obvious one. I think all those

[19:21] characters are great. Remy's great. Yeah. Remy's great. I mean, who like I feel like little is a

[19:27] sweet little guy. You know, Remy is like I feel like Ratatouille is such a was such a high point

[19:33] for Pixar. I don't know. I mean, they've had a lot of high points, but that's that's they've had

[19:36] they've had an enormous number of high points for that one. That one is. Yeah. I mean, I think

[19:40] it's weird that that's one of the few. I mean, they I guess there's a few that they haven't

[19:43] done sequels of, but I don't think they've ever even talked about doing like a Ratatouille

[19:47] or something like that. And that's like it's right there. It's right. They're leaving money

[19:50] on the table. Yeah. But the title, the title allows for it. So obviously the plot can follow.

[20:00] They haven't taken a meeting with Jim Cameron yet.

[20:02] It should be Stuart Little also.

[20:05] Now, Stuart Little, he has a human mom though, right?

[20:08] Yeah.

[20:09] Yeah, he's not necessarily a mouse so much as a boy that has mouse qualities.

[20:15] So do you think when he was born, he was born like a real pinky, like a real mouse, all

[20:18] like kind of mushy and hairless and kind of like blind?

[20:22] Or do you think he came out looking like Stuart Little?

[20:25] Well I mean-

[20:26] Like furry, like a mouse?

[20:27] Or like a pinky?

[20:28] I mean most human babies also come out kind of mushy and pinky and-

[20:32] That's true.

[20:33] That's true.

[20:34] Squishy.

[20:35] Very few of them come out fully grown.

[20:36] Your Benjamin Buttons don't have you.

[20:37] Now when Elliot, of the three of us, Elliot, you have children, were you ever nervous that

[20:42] your child was going to come out like a little Stuart Little?

[20:46] Yeah, like a mouse.

[20:47] I did once have a nightmare before my first son was born that my wife gave birth to like

[20:54] something that looks like when a kangaroo or a koala gives birth and it's like not fully

[20:58] formed yet and it's kind of like all weird and mushy and veiny and very tiny.

[21:02] And in the dream I had to carry it around in a styrofoam coffee cup because it was so

[21:06] frail and its skin was so sensitive that like I couldn't even hold it in my hand.

[21:11] Had you been watching Eraserhead the night before?

[21:14] I mean, not the night before, but certainly-

[21:17] This feels like a very good short Charles Burns comic.

[21:20] Yeah.

[21:21] Yeah, you're right.

[21:22] He would crush.

[21:23] If Charles Burns is listening, you know, feel free to use it, you know?

[21:26] Yeah.

[21:27] Okay, so I think we've got some good stuff here.

[21:29] Obviously write in if you have critiques.

[21:31] We're at the halfway point before we cut to a brief message.

[21:34] We have one more.

[21:36] This is a unrelated question, but what is, you got to make a case for, what is the cutest

[21:41] baby animal?

[21:43] Cutest baby animal.

[21:44] I'm going to go first.

[21:45] I think it is without a doubt baby elephants.

[21:49] Baby elephants are the cutest little old men with their sad eyes.

[21:53] And they're a little bit like, they're a little bit fuzzy.

[21:56] I will say in my house, I wouldn't necessarily have thought this earlier, but my younger

[22:01] son is obsessed with tapirs.

[22:02] So in my house, we watch a lot of footage of baby tapirs and they have a different coat

[22:06] pattern.

[22:07] I'm assuming on like YouTube or something, not like, is there a, like a channel that

[22:11] shows baby tapir content?

[22:13] There are, there are a number of zoos that have baby tapirs that like on their Instagram

[22:16] feed, they'll put out tapir footage, you know, but, and baby tapirs are very cute.

[22:21] They got that little nose, you know, they have to learn how to swim at one point.

[22:24] They got spots and stripes on their coats.

[22:26] They're very cute.

[22:27] But also, but also baby turtles, super cute when they hatch and they're walking down the

[22:31] beach and you just, you're like, oh, it's too bad that half of them are going to get

[22:34] eaten by seagulls.

[22:35] They're so cute.

[22:36] Yeah.

[22:37] Or when like a turtle gets ahold of a strawberry, Jesus Christ, they go apeshit.

[22:40] I won't like anything as much as a turtle likes a strawberry.

[22:43] Yeah.

[22:44] Yeah.

[22:45] Dan, what about you?

[22:46] Um, it's hard to say.

[22:47] I, you know, it's probably just cause they, uh, look so much like humans, but, uh, baby

[22:53] apes are, are pretty cute.

[22:54] Yeah.

[22:55] Baby chimps are very cute.

[22:56] Yeah.

[22:57] Uh, I also am very fond of...

[22:58] And they can use weapons.

[22:59] Yeah.

[23:00] Yeah.

[23:01] I saw a movie about it.

[23:02] Yeah.

[23:03] I just, I just like mammals of this kind of like general like size and type, but like

[23:06] I, I, baby foxes are, are a fave of mine.

[23:10] I could see that.

[23:11] I love it.

[23:12] Okay.

[23:13] Hey, Sydney, you're a physician and the co-host of Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine,

[23:21] right?

[23:22] That's true, Justin.

[23:23] Is it true that our medical history podcast is just as good as a visit to your primary

[23:27] care physician?

[23:28] No, Justin, that is absolutely not true.

[23:30] Uh, however, our podcast is funny and interesting and a great way to learn about the medical

[23:35] misdeeds of the past as well as some current, not so legit healthcare fads.

[23:40] So you're saying that by listening to our podcast, people will feel better.

[23:43] Sure.

[23:44] And isn't that the same reason that you go to the doctor?

[23:46] Well, you could say that, but...

[23:48] And our podcast is free?

[23:49] Yes, it is free.

[23:51] You heard it here first, folks, Sawbones, marital tour of misguided medicine, right

[23:54] here on Maximum Fun, just as good as going to the doctor.

[23:57] No, no, no.

[23:58] Still not just as good as going to the doctor, but, but pretty good.

[24:01] It's up there.

[24:02] My name is Jordan Cruciola and I love movies, but you know what I might love even more?

[24:09] Talking about movies.

[24:10] And the directors, actors, and writers that join me every week on Feeling Seen love to

[24:14] talk about movies too.

[24:15] Like our recent co-host, the writer and director, Justin Simien.

[24:19] And I love the premise of your show, Feeling Seen.

[24:22] I think that's kind of always my goal when I'm making something.

[24:25] Nothing touches my heart more than when someone comes out of my movie and says, oh my God,

[24:28] I never thought I would see myself.

[24:30] So hang out with us and geek out about watching movies, making movies, and the ways the movies

[24:34] we love speak to us directly.

[24:36] You might just start asking folks around you, hey, what movie character made you feel

[24:40] seen?

[24:41] We're doing it every week at MaximumFun.org.

[24:46] So we got a little message.

[24:48] This is a j-j-j-jumbotron.

[24:53] The long running horror film podcast Horror Show Hot Dog is launching the Minnesota Genre

[24:59] Film Exposition and is now accepting short and feature length film submissions.

[25:04] The M-N-G-F-E will take place October 3rd through 5th, 2025 in Roseville, Minnesota

[25:14] with a submission deadline of July 31st.

[25:18] So filmmakers, visit filmfreeway.com slash the Minnesota Genre Film Exposition to submit

[25:27] your film by July 31st.

[25:31] I could go for a Horror Show Hot Dog right about now.

[25:34] Okay, well, after the show, speaking of hot dogs, let's get to talk more about these cool

[25:38] animals of the movies.

[25:40] I feel like a hot dog is the opposite of a cool animal.

[25:42] Oh, good point.

[25:43] The hot right in the name, yeah.

[25:44] Good point.

[25:45] It depends.

[25:46] Sometimes you just eat them right out of the fridge, right?

[25:49] You do indeed.

[25:50] You're snacking dogs?

[25:51] You guys don't have snacking dogs in your house?

[25:53] No.

[25:54] Okay, well, that's fine.

[25:55] Okay, so the next category is the primate category.

[25:58] Maybe this is directly inspired by Better Man.

[26:01] That would cover monkeys and apes, things like Amy from Congo, Bonzo from Bedtime for

[26:09] Bonzo, Caesar from Planet of the Apes, Clyde from Every Which Way But Loose and Any Which

[26:15] Way You Can, Gordy from Nope, King Kong, King Louie, or Mighty Joe Young.

[26:25] Favorite primates, guys.

[26:29] My two favorites right there, on there, King Kong and Caesar, Caesar's on my mind a lot

[26:35] because we just started watching the original Planet of the Apes movies, me and my younger

[26:38] son.

[26:39] I said, enough about tapirs, let's watch some apirs.

[26:45] They were, I'm sure, impressed by that.

[26:47] Yeah, yeah, he applauded for 14 straight minutes.

[26:50] The thing is, your kids, they idolize you, they think you're the funniest guy in the

[26:53] universe.

[26:54] Yeah, they're both at the age now where they clearly still love me, but they'd like to

[26:59] be very derisive about me, but the original Planet of the Apes still holds up.

[27:05] The new Planet of the Apes, really great.

[27:08] I remember when those new Planet of the Apes movies, the first one, I think it was when

[27:13] the second one had come out, I had missed the first one, but I rented it or something.

[27:20] I remember right away, I'm like, oh man, I don't want to see a movie of this stupid CGI

[27:25] baby monkey.

[27:26] And then like 10 minutes later, I'm like crying, I'm like, stupid CGI monkey made me cry.

[27:33] And the original King Kong has such a special place in my heart, I think, because it's the

[27:37] first special effect I saw as a kid where I was like, this doesn't look real, but it

[27:43] looks alive.

[27:44] Like, I do not think this is a real ape.

[27:46] I know this is a puppet, but he looks like he's alive.

[27:49] He has so much personality and there's so much vim to him, except in those closeups

[27:54] of the giant King Kong face, which always ridiculous to me.

[27:58] That original stop motion King Kong is just like, that's my favorite, gotta be my favorite

[28:01] ape of all movies.

[28:03] There's something so magical about that style of special effect because it is like, I mean,

[28:08] there's such an attempt with movies to try to make things look as real as possible that

[28:14] when you have something that doesn't quite look real real, but it still is like, there's

[28:20] still something there.

[28:21] Like, it's still, it still feels magical.

[28:22] You know what I mean?

[28:24] I guess the secret of it is the acting of it, that the person doing the effect has to

[28:27] be acting.

[28:28] And I guess, and that's why Andy Serkis, I think, was such a breakthrough performer was

[28:32] it was like, even though these characters are not real in front of you, the acting matters

[28:36] just as much as it's the kind of thing animators have known for forever.

[28:39] But you know, like that, it's still, there's still a performance acting level.

[28:43] You still have to get the emotion across, even if it is a monster character or a CGI

[28:47] whatever.

[28:48] And King Kong has that, you know, I feel like almost more when it's a monster character

[28:52] because you need to have, like, you have to emote more, you have to.

[28:56] Sorry, I was silent for a long time, but as I was thinking about it, you know, I was like,

[29:00] you know, I have a certain, like, I can respect the fact that Link is horny for Elizabeth's

[29:05] shoe, but Link ends up being murderous and evil.

[29:08] So I wouldn't go with that.

[29:10] Okay.

[29:11] I would, yeah, my, my loyalties are split between the two Kings, Kong and Louis.

[29:18] Kong is one of the most soulful of the great apes in film and King Louis has one of the

[29:25] best songs.

[29:26] Yeah.

[29:27] No, yeah.

[29:28] I think I feel, I feel like we're, I'm sure we're, we're missing some, but yeah, we haven't

[29:35] mentioned Ed.

[29:36] We haven't mentioned Dunstan.

[29:37] We haven't mentioned the MVP, most valuable primate.

[29:39] We haven't mentioned whatever the monkey from monkey troubles name is the monkey from the

[29:45] monkey.

[29:46] Yeah.

[29:47] There's a lot of monkeys.

[29:48] We haven't mentioned.

[29:49] Yeah.

[29:50] Yeah.

[29:51] But shiny, there's that Nazi monkey from Raiders, you know, he's the, he's the monkey you love

[29:57] to hate.

[29:58] There's the one from the pirates movie.

[30:00] Yup.

[30:01] Oh yeah.

[30:02] It was listed.

[30:03] Yeah.

[30:04] Uh, wasn't, uh, wasn't the killer in Murders in the Rue Morgue, uh, monkey?

[30:07] Yup.

[30:08] Was a gorilla.

[30:09] Yup.

[30:10] Or an orangutan.

[30:11] It was an escaped orangutan.

[30:12] Yeah.

[30:13] A sailor's pet that had got loose.

[30:14] Yeah.

[30:15] Sailor's pet.

[30:16] Sailors are always fucking things up, guys.

[30:17] Uh, okay.

[30:18] The next category.

[30:19] This is another big one.

[30:20] Uh, this is close to me and Dan's heart.

[30:22] Maybe less so for Elliot.

[30:23] We are in the feline category.

[30:25] Dogs down.

[30:27] Cats.

[30:28] Oh.

[30:29] In the movies.

[30:30] Just because they make you sneeze.

[30:31] You've got a cat in the bag.

[30:32] Mm-hmm.

[30:33] So we got, uh.

[30:34] Yeah, they don't make me sneeze.

[30:35] And they hurt my eyes.

[30:36] Yeah.

[30:37] We got some famous cats like the cat from Tales from the Dark Side, the movie that kills

[30:40] Buster Poindexter.

[30:41] Oh, so that's the first cat you mentioned in the list of movie cats.

[30:44] Interesting.

[30:45] Oh yeah.

[30:46] We got Keanu from Keanu.

[30:47] We got that darn cat.

[30:49] We got Sassy from Homeward Bound.

[30:52] Uh, the cat from Inside Llewyn Davis.

[30:54] Oh, that's a good cat.

[30:55] We got Jonesy from Alien and Aliens.

[30:58] Morris the cat from The Long Goodbye.

[31:01] Uh, Church from Pet Sematary.

[31:04] And of course, a flophouse list of cats wouldn't matter if I didn't say Duffy from A Talking

[31:10] Cat.

[31:11] Oh, I thought you were going to say all of the cats from the movie Cats.

[31:13] Mmm, those aren't real cats.

[31:15] Yeah, I'm like King Kong.

[31:16] He's a real gorilla.

[31:17] Yeah.

[31:18] Uh, okay.

[31:19] So, are you going to make a case for one of the cats from Cats, the movie?

[31:25] No, I'm going to make a case for the cat from Outer Space, a Disney film that I saw over

[31:33] and over again as a kid for some reason.

[31:36] And the reason is it was on television.

[31:39] But it's a real cat.

[31:41] It had some sort of, I don't know, space powers, if I recall.

[31:45] So, this is a movie you saw over and over again, but you don't remember anything about

[31:49] it?

[31:50] No, I'm looking it up.

[31:51] Oh, Rodney McDowell was in it.

[31:52] Oh wow.

[31:53] Did you see this movie, Dan?

[31:54] It was a cute cat.

[31:56] I just remember that.

[31:57] Oh, it has a special collar that amplified telekinetic and telepathic abilities.

[32:02] That makes sense.

[32:03] That's how you know it's from Outer Space.

[32:04] That's how you know it's from Outer Space.

[32:05] A collar.

[32:06] Elliot, do you have favorite cats?

[32:07] Uh, I think I'm going to mention, because I have the opportunity to, a cat that was

[32:14] not on your list.

[32:15] Okay.

[32:16] There's a Czech New Wave movie called, it has a couple different titles, The Cassandra

[32:19] Cat, The Cat Who Wore Sunglasses is another one.

[32:21] Great names.

[32:22] One of the titles is When the Cat Comes, One Day a Cat, et cetera.

[32:25] It's this cat that has the ability to, if it looks at you, then your color changes to

[32:30] a color that represents kind of a big flaw in you, or your emotions.

[32:35] So like if you're greedy, or if you're in love, or if you're depressed, or something

[32:38] like that, suddenly your body alters that color when the cat looks at you.

[32:43] And it's a pretty silly movie, for the most part.

[32:47] But I love the idea.

[32:48] But there's some fun touches in it, and it's one of these cats that you don't hear so much

[32:52] about in movies.

[32:53] But he's integral to the plot.

[32:54] This cat is very important to the plot.

[32:56] So that's The Cassandra Cat.

[32:57] Yeah, I mean, I really love Morris the Cat in The Long Goodbye.

[33:02] It's such a moment, just right off the bat, it humanizes Elliot Gould.

[33:08] And it's such a key, I don't know, it was the moment where I'm like, okay, I love this

[33:13] movie.

[33:14] I'm in.

[33:15] I'm in for this.

[33:16] There's the cat in, Can You Ever Forgive Me?

[33:19] Yes.

[33:20] You don't see a lot of that cat, but the cat's so important to it.

[33:23] Sorry, you know, I'm thinking about my own choices while you're reading things sometimes.

[33:30] Did you mention the one from The Cat, the story of Ricky, director?

[33:34] No, I've never seen it.

[33:36] Oh, that's another cat from outer space.

[33:39] And also, Dan loves these alien cats.

[33:43] Things fly around the screen a lot in that movie.

[33:46] If you're a fan of the story of Ricky, you'll like The Cat.

[33:50] As a cineast, I am.

[33:51] Yeah.

[33:52] Oh, you know what?

[33:53] I'm also going to mention, I'm going to mention the movie Kuroneko, The Black Cat, a Japanese

[33:57] movie from the 60s, the same director who made Onibaba.

[34:00] And it's a, that's one, it's really more about two ghosts that kind of take the form of cats

[34:05] and kill samurais.

[34:06] But there's a cat in there.

[34:07] And it's pretty, it's a good, that's a good spooky movie.

[34:09] Is there a cat in Hausu?

[34:10] I don't remember, guys.

[34:11] Yes, there is.

[34:13] Its eyes would sparkle sometimes.

[34:17] That's right.

[34:18] Oh, cool, cool.

[34:19] Actually, maybe I'll switch to that cat.

[34:22] I like cats that have power eyes, you know.

[34:25] I feel like that's kind of the funny thing about cats is they're like, they're so, like

[34:29] cats as pets are kind of weird assholes, right?

[34:32] And that's, and like, so giving them like a few magical powers, you're like, that makes

[34:37] sense.

[34:38] They're kind of magical, weird assholes.

[34:39] They've been able to trick humanity into taking care of them by, well, providing very little

[34:44] otherwise.

[34:45] Dogs are working for every day and cats are like, cats are like, you work for me.

[34:49] This is this is a tale that is told by our culture.

[34:53] But I have two very affectionate cats who want to spend time with me and with my wife

[35:01] and like, yes.

[35:03] So it's not necessarily the case.

[35:07] I know, Dan, but Dan, Dan, that cat knows that it is affection in exchange for food

[35:12] and lodgings.

[35:13] It is very much.

[35:14] That's the way of all pets.

[35:15] This explains a lot of our relationships that way of all pets.

[35:18] So.

[35:19] OK.

[35:20] I think it's very transactional with cats, basically, is what I'm saying.

[35:24] So we are into our final category.

[35:26] Obviously, I'm leaving.

[35:27] Oh, shit, I can't believe I set myself up.

[35:28] Yeah, you really got you.

[35:29] You walked into that one.

[35:30] Now, this is a category that has a lot of animated characters and that is the avian category.

[35:43] OK, so that are those are characters like Iago from Aladdin, Zazu from The Lion King,

[35:51] the Road Runner, the birds from the birds, Donald, Scrooge, Daffy, Howard, all ducks.

[36:01] Happy feet.

[36:02] And this one might be an outlier.

[36:04] The crow.

[36:05] Yeah, not technically a bird, but but a person, yeah.

[36:09] In a movie.

[36:10] Is it?

[36:11] Yeah.

[36:13] Well, I mean, obviously, my top bird is Uncle Scrooge McDuck, but he's only appeared in

[36:19] one movie of well, two, I guess the one as himself, Ducktales Treasure of the Lost Lamp

[36:30] and one as and the other was the doctor who he takes care of the elephant man, right?

[36:34] The elephant man.

[36:35] Uh huh.

[36:36] Yeah.

[36:37] In Mickey's Christmas Carol.

[36:38] But is he not it?

[36:39] He's not in Donald Duck and Math Magic Land, right?

[36:43] No.

[36:44] And that's like a that's also a short.

[36:45] I wouldn't.

[36:46] But he is in one where he explains how the workings of the economy and how money has

[36:49] to circulate.

[36:50] Oh, maybe that's what I'm thinking of.

[36:51] Yeah.

[36:52] Yeah.

[36:53] Yeah.

[36:54] But yeah, that was in the big short.

[36:55] Yeah.

[36:56] So I don't think he's I don't think he's given his due in film.

[37:02] So I'm going to go.

[37:04] I love Iago.

[37:05] I think that for me, you know, like, you know, Robin Williams obviously makes me laugh in

[37:10] Latin.

[37:11] But the thing that makes me laugh the most in Latin is is is Iago and the Gilbert Gottfried

[37:20] line deliveries, particularly I'm going to have a heart attack and die from not surprised

[37:25] with my favorite lines.

[37:27] Yeah.

[37:28] Now, I got a question for you guys.

[37:30] Obviously, Scrooge McDuck is great, but if you were going to compare Donald Duck to Daffy

[37:35] Duck, where do you land on that one?

[37:38] Oh, Daffy.

[37:39] One hundred percent.

[37:40] I love Daffy Duck.

[37:41] So I love Daffy Duck.

[37:42] He's such a fucking awesome loser.

[37:44] He has two modes, wacky, wacky, silly and also resentful jerk.

[37:51] And I like both of them.

[37:52] Yeah.

[37:53] They're both very funny.

[37:54] I mean, Donald just gets mad at stuff.

[37:55] Yeah.

[37:56] In film.

[37:57] In film.

[37:58] Definitely.

[37:59] Daffy.

[38:00] Like I like the Donald of the comics.

[38:01] As opposed to what?

[38:02] In the novels?

[38:03] Yes.

[38:04] Of the comics.

[38:05] He's like a weird adventurer, like like suburban adventurer guy.

[38:08] Yeah.

[38:09] No.

[38:10] Daffy's got a better shtick.

[38:11] Yeah.

[38:12] Man, I love Daffy Duck.

[38:13] Yeah.

[38:14] I'm going to say I feel like like there's just something so special and pure about the

[38:18] roadrunner.

[38:19] Like it's such this like it's such an asshole, like such an asshole.

[38:23] But at the same time, like it's this like eternal thing.

[38:26] I don't know.

[38:27] Like constantly screwing over the coyote and like rubbing his face.

[38:32] But at the same time, you like he's trying to kill him.

[38:38] Like if I would characterize him as an asshole, like he like rubs it in, like he does, I mean,

[38:43] just by saying meep meep like there are times he sets it up on purpose.

[38:47] He's the he's the he's teasing him into that, but he knows what he's doing.

[38:51] On the other hand, Wiley Cody is trying to kill him.

[38:53] So yes.

[38:54] So he's justified.

[38:55] And actually, I don't know.

[38:56] Am I misgendering?

[38:57] I can't tell.

[38:58] I don't remember if the roadrunner.

[38:59] I don't think.

[39:00] No, for sure.

[39:01] I think it's not.

[39:02] It's not canonically.

[39:03] Oh, yeah.

[39:04] I'm going to mention two birds that are not on your list.

[39:06] One is Kevin, the giant bird from up.

[39:08] I'm a big fan of that bird.

[39:10] I think she's really funny and has a lot of personality, but also the man turning into

[39:16] a bird over the length of Brewster McCloud, a movie that mostly doesn't work for me.

[39:20] But I love this conceit of this guy's giving a lecture to the audience about birds.

[39:24] And over the course of the film, he's just becoming a bird for no reason.

[39:28] There's no explanation for it.

[39:29] So I'm going to go with that.

[39:31] And before I know the listeners are going to want to write in and complain that I'm not

[39:35] repping Gwaihir, the eagle from Lord of the Rings.

[39:37] But, you know, I feel like the Eagles get so much attention and like not the band.

[39:42] I don't like the band, the Eagles, but the Eagles and Lord of the Rings get so much attention

[39:46] and like there's so much flack about them not caring, not carrying the ring to Mount

[39:50] Doom and just chucking them in there.

[39:52] So but, you know, whatever.

[39:54] Like Gwaihir rules, I get it.

[39:55] But I want to share the spotlight on the roadrunner.

[39:58] Yeah.

[40:00] You're a big fan of Rock-A-Doodle, too, right?

[40:02] Hey, you know, that rooster can get it, you know?

[40:05] Yeah, I want to shout out Big Bird, of course.

[40:09] Oh, follow that bird, yeah.

[40:10] Jesus Christ, Big Bird, like...

[40:12] The sweetest bird.

[40:13] I was watching the...

[40:14] And the Muppet movie, he's got that cameo appearance

[40:16] in the Muppet movie.

[40:17] It's true.

[40:18] Brett Goldstein, in his stand-up special,

[40:19] was talking about how he did,

[40:21] he was a guest on Sesame Street

[40:23] and it was the best day of his life.

[40:24] And I'm like, in my head, I'm thinking,

[40:27] if I was on set and Big Bird walked up to me,

[40:30] that would, like, crush me.

[40:31] Like, I would lose my shit.

[40:33] Burst into tears.

[40:35] Like, I couldn't help it.

[40:36] Like, I don't know, man.

[40:38] There's something so magical about that character.

[40:42] Yeah, very much.

[40:42] Dan, that's a good call.

[40:43] And I told that story on here before,

[40:45] about the time my mom took me to a performance

[40:48] of the Muppets, or of like a Sesame Street Live thing,

[40:52] and the theme was that, like, Big Bird was missing.

[40:54] And the performers on stage were like,

[40:56] Big Bird's missing.

[40:57] We need to go find him.

[40:58] And after this scene, my mom looks over

[41:01] and I'm not in my seat.

[41:02] I'm gone.

[41:03] So she goes into the lobby and I'm trying to leave.

[41:06] I'm trying to push through the front door.

[41:07] And my mom's like, what are you doing?

[41:09] And I'm like, we have to find Big Bird.

[41:11] Like, I took it as my responsibility

[41:13] that I need to find Big Bird.

[41:14] Oh, that's too much responsibility for a child.

[41:16] Yeah, yeah.

[41:17] That explains a lot about my personality.

[41:21] Okay, so we've covered all the bases.

[41:23] We just have one final question.

[41:25] This is a hard one, guys.

[41:26] So we've covered all the bases,

[41:27] but there's one more question.

[41:29] You're right, this story doesn't add up.

[41:31] You got him.

[41:32] One more thing.

[41:33] That makes sense.

[41:34] One more thing.

[41:35] We've covered all the bases.

[41:36] Wouldn't there be no questions left?

[41:37] I'm in an episode of Poker Face over here.

[41:40] Okay, so guys, gun to your head.

[41:44] I don't like that.

[41:46] I'm already not a fan of this scenario.

[41:48] Gun to your head.

[41:50] Ignoring the bird category, the avian category.

[41:54] Of the animals we've talked about today,

[41:56] which animal would you eat?

[41:59] Oh.

[42:00] Ignoring the bird category?

[42:01] Yes.

[42:03] Wow.

[42:03] Man.

[42:04] Animal.

[42:05] To remind us of the categories,

[42:06] there was like dog, horse.

[42:07] Dogs, horses.

[42:09] Primates.

[42:10] Rodents.

[42:11] Rodents.

[42:12] Primates.

[42:13] Elliot goes right to primates.

[42:14] What's wrong with that?

[42:15] And felines, cats.

[42:18] Which of those animals, and not like the broad category,

[42:21] which of those characters would you eat?

[42:23] Oh, so it has to be the character.

[42:25] Yeah, you're eating the character, yeah.

[42:26] Gun to your head.

[42:28] It doesn't have to be when you picked it,

[42:29] and you list it.

[42:30] You could say Mighty Joe Young if you want.

[42:32] Yeah, who wouldn't want to eat Mighty Joe Young?

[42:36] Then for me, I think it's gotta be Seabiscuit.

[42:38] The chance to eat one of America's favorite horses.

[42:40] You know, to be known as the guy who ate Seabiscuit.

[42:43] Like, I can't.

[42:44] And his name has biscuit in it.

[42:45] You know, he's gonna be delicious.

[42:46] And also, you're gonna be famous.

[42:48] I think, yeah.

[42:48] You got it.

[42:50] That meat's gonna be so tender from all the running.

[42:52] Yeah.

[42:53] I don't, that's how it works.

[42:56] I don't want to double up,

[42:57] but I feel like it's gotta be one of the horses.

[42:59] Dan, you can't say Mrs. Brisby

[43:01] and say it's a sexual thing.

[43:02] No, no, I don't.

[43:05] But like, we wouldn't blame you.

[43:07] I feel the least personal attachment to horses.

[43:11] So like, I...

[43:13] Dan, if you want to take horses,

[43:14] then I'll say Remy the Rat, Ratatouille.

[43:16] You know he tastes good.

[43:17] He tastes good.

[43:18] He can cook himself.

[43:18] He'll season himself ahead of time, yeah.

[43:20] He's only eating the best food that, you know.

[43:23] I don't want to shock you guys,

[43:24] but I just get shot.

[43:25] I wouldn't eat any of these treasured characters.

[43:27] Oh, come on.

[43:29] What a trap.

[43:30] You can't set a trap like that.

[43:31] And also, it's totally not true.

[43:33] So everybody, this has been a mini episode

[43:36] of the Flophouse podcast.

[43:37] Send all your hate mail to theflophouse at gmail.com,

[43:41] I think.

[43:41] You know what?

[43:42] I welcomed your hate.

[43:43] I'll eat Remy, and I'll eat Seabiscuit.

[43:45] Deal with it.

[43:46] Double up.

[43:46] He'll turn, he'll turn, he'll turn.

[43:48] So this has been a mini episode of the Flophouse podcast.

[43:51] This has been produced by HowlDotty, Alexander Smith.

[43:55] He goes as HowlDotty on various socials

[43:57] and on Twitch, et cetera, et cetera.

[43:58] Making music.

[43:59] He's great.

[44:00] He's the best.

[44:00] We're a part of the MaxFun Network.

[44:02] So there's other shows, probably a lot like this over there.

[44:04] So check them out.

[44:05] Yeah, all about eating beloved characters.

[44:08] I've been, for this episode, I've been Stuart Wellington.

[44:12] For this and other episodes, I've been Dan McCoy.

[44:14] For this and all the other episodes, I think,

[44:17] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[44:18] And I can't wait till the mini

[44:19] when Stuart asks us about our favorite movie, Children,

[44:21] and gives us the same question at the very end,

[44:24] and we don't see it coming.

[44:25] Okay, see you later.

[44:26] Bye, Seabiscuit.

[44:27] ♪♪

[44:32] Maximum fun.

[44:34] A worker-owned network.

[44:35] Of artist-owned shows.

[44:37] Supported.

[44:38] Directly.

[44:38] By you.

FH Mini 129 - When Animals Compete

Transcript

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