Ep. #224 - Zoolander 2

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Zoolander 2.

[0:03] Why?

[0:07] Jesus, there's other people in this apartment building.

[0:10] Hey everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse.

[0:38] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:39] Hey guys, I'm Stuart Willington.

[0:42] Wow, there's a cool guy over there, but I'm not.

[0:44] Hi, it's me, Ellie Kaelin.

[0:46] Oh boy, look at this nerdling over here.

[0:48] What are we doing tonight, guys?

[0:51] What cool thing are we doing?

[0:52] Nothing, Poindexter.

[0:53] Get out of here.

[0:54] Oh, man.

[0:55] I thought he was a clown at first.

[0:56] They won't laugh at me in the future.

[0:59] My name Poindexter will mean a lot.

[1:01] Buster Poindexter.

[1:02] And that's the story.

[1:04] That's how it happened.

[1:07] Welcome to this week's episode of That's How It Happened.

[1:10] I'm Stuart Willington.

[1:12] I'm Dan McCoy.

[1:13] And I'm Elliot Kaelin.

[1:14] And we're the hosts of...

[1:16] And That's How It Happened.

[1:17] The show that tells you...

[1:19] How It Happened.

[1:20] And also...

[1:21] That's...

[1:22] Today on the show, The Flophouse.

[1:25] How did that happen?

[1:26] Well, we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[1:29] That's How It Happened.

[1:31] That's How It Works.

[1:32] Can I just take a moment to say...

[1:34] Yeah.

[1:36] There's a thrill that I didn't think I'd experience this early in my son's life.

[1:41] Okay.

[1:42] He's just turned three.

[1:43] The thrill of him turning to me and saying...

[1:45] I'm just pushing him in the stroller down the street.

[1:47] Hearing him turn to me and say,

[1:49] Daddy, remember that That's How It Works song that you sang?

[1:53] Yeah, I do.

[1:54] Can you sing it to me?

[1:56] And my heart grew a thousand times its size.

[1:59] And the rest of the night was spent me singing That's How It Works to my son.

[2:03] And then he would say,

[2:04] Speaking of birthdays...

[2:06] You remember the whole thing.

[2:07] Yeah.

[2:08] Well, you're a real hit maker.

[2:09] Among my son, I'm a huge hit maker.

[2:12] You're like Motown.

[2:13] All my songs are on the lips of all the my sons there are.

[2:16] You're like Rock City USA or whatever.

[2:19] Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever that is.

[2:20] I'm imagining you pushing your son in his stroller

[2:22] through the streets of Park Slope singing That's How It Works

[2:25] and shutters are being slammed.

[2:28] Roll-down gates are hastily pulled down.

[2:30] An alligator peeks out of the sewers and goes,

[2:33] and then pulls the manhole cover over itself.

[2:36] A squirrel jumps into a tree and then blinds shut over the knothole.

[2:40] There's a fancy dinner party and people's wine glasses shatter

[2:44] as your reedy voice comes filtering through the window.

[2:48] Dark man recedes back into the alleyway that he was kicking out of.

[2:53] Yeah, the Statue of Liberty snaps her torch in two

[2:55] and stuffs them in her ears.

[2:57] Pretty accurate.

[3:00] So, yeah, what do we do here, Dan?

[3:03] I just said it.

[3:04] Say it again.

[3:05] I just fucking said it.

[3:06] Say it again.

[3:07] I just fucking said it.

[3:08] Say it again, I dare you.

[3:09] I double dog dare you.

[3:10] If you don't do it, you have to eat two dogs.

[3:13] I'll do it.

[3:14] We watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[3:17] Guys, we watched a movie tonight.

[3:20] Did we?

[3:21] Like, we watched.

[3:22] I need you guys to help summarize this movie tonight

[3:25] because so much of it flowed out of my ears.

[3:27] It's like it flowed in my ear and my brain and then in my eyes

[3:31] and then my brain went, no, not letting you in.

[3:34] This is not entering the memory banks

[3:36] and then flooded right out of my other ear.

[3:38] So much wax.

[3:40] Yeah, you were standing out in the rainstorm that was this movie.

[3:43] Occasional chunks of hail mixed in with the rain.

[3:46] Those were the jokes.

[3:47] Screaming to the heavens.

[3:49] Tearing at my undershirt yelling,

[3:52] Or maybe this is that scene in School Ties.

[3:55] Or this could be Cajun Cajun.

[4:01] Raising Arizona.

[4:02] Anything where people are yelling in the rain.

[4:06] I'm yelling in the rain.

[4:08] Just yelling in the rain.

[4:11] I left my keys inside

[4:14] and I can't get out of the rain.

[4:17] Are we five minutes in?

[4:19] Please open the door.

[4:21] I don't want to be outside anymore.

[4:24] I'm yelling.

[4:25] I guess I'll just text my mom back.

[4:27] Yelling in the rain.

[4:29] Dedicated to Debbie Reynolds.

[4:32] Come on, she's a listener.

[4:34] My mom.

[4:36] Wait, Debbie Reynolds?

[4:38] Yeah, Debbie Reynolds.

[4:40] Oh man.

[4:41] She's listening from beyond the grave.

[4:43] Jesus.

[4:44] She's in here in this room right now.

[4:46] Speaking of, let's start at the end of this movie.

[4:48] The credits of this movie are horrible.

[4:51] But they end with a dedicated to and then a person.

[4:54] And I can think of...

[4:55] What a mighty cenotaph.

[4:57] No larger slap to a corpse's face

[4:59] than to have Zoolander 2 dedicated to their memory.

[5:03] What a memory of the fallen.

[5:05] There's some great memorials out there.

[5:08] The Sphinx.

[5:11] The Washington Memorial.

[5:12] Monument.

[5:13] We would call it the Washington Monument.

[5:14] Zoolander.

[5:15] Zoolander 2.

[5:17] Through the portal of time.

[5:19] Look upon you by works ye mighty in despair.

[5:23] So, we watched Zoolander 2.

[5:25] Now, we were drawn to this movie

[5:27] in the way that you're drawn to an endurance test

[5:29] because...

[5:30] Let me just admit something right here.

[5:32] I'm a Zoolander virgin.

[5:33] I still have never seen the first one.

[5:35] And now that...

[5:36] Pause for the audience to gasp in shock

[5:38] that I didn't see one of the defining movies

[5:41] of, I guess, my class at college.

[5:43] Earbuds are being ripped out of ears right now.

[5:45] And yet, that came out...

[5:46] All I knew about Zoolander 2 was

[5:47] this is the one movie Leonard Maltin

[5:49] has walked out of in his entire career

[5:51] as a reviewer.

[5:52] To bring us down,

[5:53] I believe that Zoolander came out

[5:55] right after 9-11?

[5:56] Yes.

[5:57] And that was part of why it was

[5:58] like an underperforming film.

[5:59] It became a cult hit afterwards.

[6:01] But I do remember

[6:02] I was down in Savannah

[6:04] during my brief stint in film school

[6:07] and I was very depressed

[6:08] and I would go to see movies all the time

[6:10] and it was right after...

[6:11] Like on Mint Juleps?

[6:12] Yeah.

[6:13] I remember being right after 9-11.

[6:15] That's a Savannah drink, right?

[6:16] Being like,

[6:17] what will heal this shattered nation?

[6:18] I know, Zoolander.

[6:19] It was...

[6:20] I will say this.

[6:21] I tried to watch a movie

[6:22] right after September 11th

[6:24] and it was the day after

[6:26] and I was in Manhattan

[6:28] because I was going to NYU

[6:29] and the United Artists Theater

[6:32] on 13th Street and Broadway

[6:34] had decided...

[6:36] I think it's the United Artists...

[6:37] had said...

[6:38] They put up signs

[6:39] all over the neighborhood

[6:40] that said,

[6:41] let's make today a day at the movies.

[6:43] Let's get our mind off our troubles

[6:44] free movies all day

[6:46] free popcorn

[6:47] all free refreshments

[6:48] and me and my friends

[6:49] were like,

[6:50] yeah, okay.

[6:51] I mean, we're feeling terrible

[6:52] and kind of scared.

[6:53] Let's go see a movie.

[6:54] I've heard Jeepers Creepers

[6:55] is a fun little...

[6:56] Oh, dear.

[6:57] Is a fun horror romp.

[6:58] Oh, boy.

[6:59] And like,

[7:00] 15 minutes in

[7:01] we have these huge things

[7:02] of popcorn and soda

[7:03] we were like,

[7:04] we can't really do this.

[7:05] Like, this feels weird

[7:06] and we left

[7:07] a full theater

[7:08] screening Jeepers Theaters.

[7:09] You'll never know

[7:10] how they got those peepers.

[7:11] To this day,

[7:12] I don't know

[7:13] how his peepers got got.

[7:14] But it's true.

[7:15] I didn't go to the movies

[7:16] that much in the

[7:17] immediate aftermath

[7:18] of September 11th.

[7:19] No.

[7:20] Well, right.

[7:21] Rightfully so.

[7:22] I was too busy

[7:23] being turned away

[7:24] at hospitals

[7:25] because they did not

[7:26] need any help.

[7:27] Oh, that's nice.

[7:28] So you're doing

[7:29] something useful

[7:30] whereas I was just

[7:31] like dicking around

[7:32] in college.

[7:33] But you were away.

[7:34] You weren't in the place

[7:35] it happened.

[7:36] No, that's true.

[7:37] I was in the middle

[7:38] of Indiana.

[7:39] Yeah.

[7:40] So we really brought

[7:41] this movie,

[7:42] many years later.

[7:43] Zoolander 2 was

[7:44] released in the aftermath

[7:45] of a different

[7:46] national tragedy,

[7:47] the production of

[7:48] Zoolander 2.

[7:51] So Zoolander,

[7:52] I take it as a movie

[7:53] about a supermodel

[7:54] who does model stuff.

[7:55] Yeah.

[7:56] Yeah.

[7:57] It's like a

[7:58] emphasis on the man.

[7:59] It's Manchurian Canada

[8:00] and there's a little

[8:01] bit of an element

[8:02] of like a

[8:03] like a comeback story

[8:04] because at the

[8:05] beginning of the movie

[8:06] we see Ben Stiller's

[8:07] character,

[8:08] Derek Zoolander,

[8:09] go through,

[8:10] you know,

[8:11] like a professional

[8:12] and personal loss.

[8:13] Sure.

[8:14] And he has to

[8:15] fight his way back.

[8:16] Now, are you describing

[8:17] Zoolander 2 because

[8:18] it's the exact

[8:19] same plot as

[8:20] Zoolander 2?

[8:21] Wait, are you saying

[8:22] that Zoolander 2

[8:23] uses some of

[8:24] the same plot elements?

[8:25] I sure hope it doesn't

[8:26] use any of the

[8:27] same jokes, Elliot.

[8:28] I wouldn't know that.

[8:29] I haven't seen the first one

[8:30] but from your guys'

[8:31] reaction it sure

[8:32] seemed like it did.

[8:33] So let's dive into

[8:34] Zoolander 2, shall we?

[8:35] Something that

[8:36] no one has ever said.

[8:39] Zoolander 2 is...

[8:41] It's the worst

[8:42] family movie night.

[8:44] Well, gather around,

[8:45] kiddos.

[8:47] We're going to dive

[8:48] into Zoolander 2.

[8:49] It's about, I guess,

[8:50] a planet where

[8:51] zoos are everywhere.

[8:52] Hey, I know you love

[8:53] that Zoolander

[8:54] so this will be

[8:55] a real treat.

[8:56] Hey, kids,

[8:57] you don't seem to

[8:58] be eating that

[8:59] slop gruel

[9:00] I'm feeding you.

[9:01] Are you unhappy

[9:02] that you're

[9:03] chained to radiators?

[9:04] So we wanted

[9:05] to see this movie.

[9:07] I don't think we were

[9:08] adequately prepared

[9:09] for how

[9:10] like this movie

[9:11] and it's not like

[9:12] this was a huge

[9:13] by Hollywood standards

[9:14] these days

[9:15] it's not a huge budget movie

[9:16] looking up the budget

[9:17] it was like $50 million

[9:19] I'll say this for you

[9:20] all that money

[9:21] is up there on screen

[9:22] because this movie

[9:23] looks stupidly expensive

[9:24] for what it is

[9:25] delivering

[9:26] but, okay

[9:27] it's Zoolander 2

[9:28] we open with

[9:30] a long action

[9:31] sequence of

[9:32] Justin Bieber

[9:33] being tracked down

[9:34] by men on motorcycles

[9:35] and killed.

[9:36] I can only assume

[9:37] that the joke of that

[9:38] is we shot

[9:39] like the joke of it

[9:40] is like, oh

[9:41] this is what you want to see

[9:42] guys, right?

[9:43] Justin Bieber

[9:44] being killed

[9:45] I assume the joke

[9:46] of it is

[9:47] can you believe

[9:48] we got Justin Bieber

[9:49] to be in our movie?

[9:50] Because throughout

[9:51] the movie

[9:52] there are pointless

[9:53] celebrity cameos

[9:54] the only purpose

[9:55] is to be like

[9:56] and this guy's

[9:57] in the movie?

[9:58] What?

[9:59] This always works

[10:00] great

[10:01] name one movie

[10:02] and it's Zoolander 2

[10:03] Zoolander 2

[10:04] Zoolander 2

[10:05] Zoolander 2

[10:06] Zoolander 2

[10:07] Zoolander 2

[10:00] You're doing the voice of the director.

[10:02] Yeah.

[10:03] Name one movie that's built on celebrity cameos that's not

[10:07] great.

[10:08] Name one movie.

[10:10] Yeah.

[10:11] Name one bad movie where most of the gags just come from.

[10:13] I can't believe they got a celebrity to do that.

[10:15] Yeah, I mean, that's why Cannonball Run series

[10:17] is the finest series of comedy films ever made.

[10:20] Well, they're the best.

[10:21] I will say, It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

[10:23] is essentially built on cameos and routines,

[10:26] and that's a pretty funny movie.

[10:28] So long, though.

[10:29] There's this shot, well, if you can't handle it,

[10:31] then watch it in halves.

[10:32] Look at that long-ass title, dude.

[10:33] You should assume it's going to be long-ass.

[10:35] Cut out two of those Mads.

[10:38] But you better not cut out Mads Mikkelsen.

[10:40] What if it was called It's a Mads, Mads, Mads, Mads World?

[10:43] Mads Mikkelsen is trying to get buried money,

[10:44] and the only one who can stop him is another Mads Mikkelsen.

[10:47] Oh my god.

[10:48] Then there's a goofy Mads Mikkelsen

[10:49] who's along for the ride.

[10:50] It's called Madsiplicity.

[10:52] It's a remake of Multiplicity starring Mads Mikkelsen.

[10:55] And they're a bad father?

[10:58] Yes.

[10:59] Wait, what's the story of Multiplicity?

[11:00] Or am I thinking Jack Frost?

[11:02] They're both.

[11:02] Both of them, he's a bad kind of, well, he's just one.

[11:05] Does he have kids in Multiplicity?

[11:06] He's a bad, he like, can't, he wants it all.

[11:08] He wants to be able to relax and have a family and a job.

[11:11] So does he get a magical remote control

[11:14] that he can click things to happen?

[11:16] No, that's a flick, a movie that does not star Michael Keaton.

[11:19] OK.

[11:20] But does he take any desperate measures?

[11:22] You're thinking of Click, the Milo Monaro erotic comic.

[11:26] I think he was referring to Click, the Adam Sandler film,

[11:29] and not the softcore porn series based on the Milo Monaro.

[11:32] But that's where your brain is, Dan, so OK, that's fine.

[11:36] Anyway, Zoolander 2, Justin Bieber is dead.

[11:38] And what can only be described as a scene

[11:40] that in another movie would represent a bad movie.

[11:44] Like where the joke would be, this looks like a bad movie.

[11:47] Yeah, I mean, you're describing it

[11:48] that looks like Ben Stiller made a fake action

[11:51] movie that you would see in the beginning of Tropic Thunder.

[11:54] Yeah, like those trailers at the beginning of Tropic Thunder,

[11:57] where you're like, those movies look ridiculous.

[11:59] Like this movie feels like that movie.

[12:01] And that's, I think, the whole thing of it

[12:03] is that it feels like we're through the weird mirror of it,

[12:06] where it feels like the movie doesn't understand

[12:10] what it's trying to be, whether it's

[12:11] trying to be a comedy that's parodying action films,

[12:14] or if it's like, wait a minute, what

[12:17] if we were that action film?

[12:18] Well, the whole movie, exactly.

[12:20] It feels like they're trying to parody

[12:23] what people think is cool and stylish,

[12:27] but it also kind of wants to be cool and stylish.

[12:30] And so there are a bunch of scenes

[12:32] where it's like somebody walking towards the camera

[12:35] as loud hip hop plays.

[12:37] And there's lights flashing.

[12:39] And they're walking in slow motion.

[12:40] And they look super tough.

[12:41] But there's no real joke in it.

[12:43] The joke is like, isn't this over the top?

[12:46] But it's kind of cool, though, right?

[12:48] Well, don't you think that's part of Ben Stiller's

[12:50] motivation for making this movie, where he's just like,

[12:53] wouldn't it be hilarious if I was a male model?

[12:56] I mean, I am pretty handsome, really, but if you look at me.

[12:59] But it would be really funny if I'm a male model.

[13:01] I mean, I could pull it off, I guess.

[13:03] I mean, I totally could do that.

[13:04] This is the movie equivalent of when

[13:07] you're hanging out with a girl who's a friend of yours.

[13:10] And you're like, wouldn't it be funny

[13:11] if we started making out?

[13:12] I mean, unless you're into it, in which case,

[13:14] we could do it not as a joke.

[13:15] But it would be pretty funny, you know, right?

[13:17] But we could also, like, and you're

[13:20] trying to walk that delicate tightrope

[13:22] that no man has ever walked.

[13:24] You're trying to thread that perfect needle.

[13:26] Except the thread doesn't exist, and the needle also

[13:28] doesn't exist.

[13:29] I love the word, the conceit of this,

[13:31] too, is that we live in a world where it would be hilarious

[13:34] if you just made out.

[13:36] What a good joke.

[13:38] It's hard to get the girl to buy into that premise.

[13:41] It's a pretty thin premise.

[13:44] It's like the yawn and put your arm around a girl's shoulder,

[13:48] where it's like, at what point is this,

[13:51] what part of this fiction is she supposed to believe in?

[13:53] To believe that while yawning and stretching,

[13:56] and then you just relaxed your arms,

[13:57] and they fell back to their natural resting state.

[14:00] Which is all the way over here, because everyone

[14:03] likes to rest their arm the same way they would signal

[14:06] that they're making a turn, with their arm

[14:07] sticking straight out.

[14:09] No, it's convenient to have your arm up that high,

[14:11] because it's harder for the blood

[14:13] to get there from your heart, so your arm may fall asleep.

[14:17] And then if it's an idle hands type situation,

[14:21] you don't have to worry about your serial killer hands

[14:22] hurting anyone, because they're asleep.

[14:26] That movie's not streaming anywhere,

[14:27] I discovered the other day.

[14:31] It's an outrage.

[14:33] Yeah, let's take to the fucking streets.

[14:35] Let's start up a Kickstarter for our protest campaign.

[14:38] I mean, Kickstarter would be inappropriate

[14:40] for this specific thing.

[14:41] Call the Warner's Archive and have them print out

[14:43] the DVD for you.

[14:44] It's not a Warner's movie?

[14:45] Well, they better buy that fucking movie,

[14:47] so they can print up an on-demand copy for me.

[14:51] So you guys are telling me I should just go tell it

[14:53] to the Marines, then?

[14:54] Yeah, exactly, or the Spartans.

[14:57] Call the Army, like in Monster Squad.

[14:59] Yep.

[14:59] That's the joke, is that it works in Monster Squad.

[15:02] Spoiler alert.

[15:04] OK.

[15:04] Anyway, Zoolander 2.

[15:05] Justin Bieber is killed.

[15:06] In his last moments, he does a Zoolander face into Instagram.

[15:10] Cut to, we're in Interpol, where former swimsuit model turned

[15:14] Interpol detective who wears red leather outfits,

[15:17] Penelope Cruz, realizes that all these-

[15:20] Who's, I guess, up for it.

[15:21] I mean, she's trying.

[15:22] Yeah.

[15:23] No one in this movie half-asses it.

[15:26] Everyone in this movie is trying really hard

[15:28] to sell this material.

[15:28] Nobody phones it in.

[15:30] Nobody, and if anything-

[15:32] And one man succeeds, but we'll get to that.

[15:35] And there's one character in this movie who is very funny,

[15:38] and the performer succeeds.

[15:39] The rest of the movie doesn't really work.

[15:41] But you can't blame the performers for not trying.

[15:43] If anything, if they had had more,

[15:46] if they were a little looser with it,

[15:47] maybe it would have come across as less self-important.

[15:51] I don't know.

[15:52] It's too big a movie.

[15:53] Yeah, I mean, I guess the broader, vaguely European

[15:58] fashion personas that they're throwing out there

[16:02] don't really, I mean, so the first Zoolander

[16:06] was received criticism at the time.

[16:08] I know it's hard to believe, but it received criticism

[16:11] for the fact that it was not topical at all for the time.

[16:15] Like the jokiness of dumb models,

[16:19] like these dumb models from the 80s

[16:21] had basically disappeared by the time

[16:23] the first Zoolander came out.

[16:25] So in a way, not only is this movie even less topical,

[16:28] but the fact that it's parodying these

[16:30] cooler-than-school action movies,

[16:34] movies that don't really exist anymore,

[16:36] like the only big-budget action movies

[16:38] that are even kinda like this that seem successful

[16:40] are like the Fast and the Furious series.

[16:42] Or in some ways, like the way this movie ends up going

[16:45] with special effects and things like superhero movies

[16:48] a little bit, but like they're not,

[16:49] I don't think they're explicitly doing,

[16:50] it looks like, well, what it really looks like

[16:52] is they're parodying certain sequences

[16:55] of Quantum of Solace.

[16:56] Oh, okay. Yeah.

[16:57] It feels like somebody didn't realize

[17:00] the Charlie's Angels movies were tongue-in-cheek.

[17:02] Yeah, no.

[17:03] And they were like, time to take McG down a peg.

[17:05] Yeah, no, exactly.

[17:06] Like this feels like a Luc Besson-produced movie,

[17:09] which also, tongue-in-cheek.

[17:10] Like, no one's taking the transporter too seriously.

[17:12] What are you talking about?

[17:14] And the, like, they kind of, there's a-

[17:17] Are you talking about the nurse lady in Lingerie

[17:20] that has two mini-machine guns?

[17:22] Yeah.

[17:22] I just watched part of that the other day.

[17:24] Like, I saw it, and like, there's literally,

[17:27] I should get-

[17:27] I think I know why you watched it.

[17:30] It just happened to be on

[17:31] when I was turning the channel.

[17:32] It just happened to be on when I was masturbating.

[17:34] And as she got out of the car,

[17:36] there was literally just like,

[17:37] the camera's just up in her, like,

[17:39] panty crotch for a second.

[17:41] Like, framed full screen, just that,

[17:44] as she's getting out of it.

[17:45] And it's the most unmotivated thing.

[17:47] Yeah, yeah.

[17:48] For like, it's already unmotivated

[17:50] that there's this assassin who walks around in Lingerie.

[17:52] And then they're like, nope, not good enough.

[17:54] Let's get her right up in there.

[17:55] Let's see what that's like.

[17:56] The director's notes are like, the shot begins.

[17:59] It's so close, we don't even know what we're looking at.

[18:01] Is this a forest?

[18:03] Interior, her thighs.

[18:06] We realize we're looking at a woman's crotch.

[18:09] Yeah.

[18:10] We pan back.

[18:11] It's a real twist.

[18:12] Then pan back forward again.

[18:14] Yeah, and we do an aouga sound effect.

[18:17] I'll say this about the movie.

[18:19] The visual style is intense and extreme.

[18:22] It's constantly throwing crazy costumes and colors at you

[18:24] in a style that, and I get,

[18:26] the joke is supposed to be how crazy and outlandish it is.

[18:29] Zoolandish even.

[18:30] And, but there's a certain point where

[18:32] it stops being jokey and it enters a realm

[18:35] that I would only call,

[18:37] and I mean this as respectfully as possible,

[18:38] shitty Fellini, where it's like,

[18:41] we're gonna show you grotesque things on screen.

[18:44] Like, we're gonna kind of mess with your mind

[18:48] because you go to movies to see beautiful things

[18:50] and I'm gonna show you that ugly things

[18:52] can be beautiful too.

[18:53] And that like, grotesquery, when it's blown out enough,

[18:57] can become beautiful in its own way.

[18:59] And like, Fellini pulls that off.

[19:00] Zoolander 2 doesn't quite pull that off.

[19:02] Are you referring to scenes like,

[19:04] when he's not as good of a movie maker

[19:06] as Federico Fellini?

[19:09] Yeah, Pepparino for Fellini, what did you call him?

[19:11] You said it right.

[19:13] I'm saying that Fellini maybe knew more about making movies

[19:16] than the people behind Zoolander 2.

[19:17] Are you referring to scenes like the one where

[19:20] they could have had just a regular child in it

[19:24] or they could have had actor Fred Armisen be in that scene

[19:27] and they decided, let's digitally take Fred Armisen's face

[19:30] and put it on a child's body

[19:32] so that it feels uncomfortable and alien to the viewer?

[19:35] You know the scenes in The Love Guru

[19:37] that didn't really work when we put Mike Myers' face

[19:40] digitally on a body?

[19:41] I've never seen it because you told us

[19:42] we couldn't watch that movie for the podcast.

[19:44] Yeah, that's true, I did.

[19:46] Maybe we should sometime.

[19:46] You were worried that John Oliver would be mad at us.

[19:48] Now, well, John Oliver's, he's, you know what,

[19:51] he's more, he's famous enough

[19:52] that he can survive Love Guru.

[19:53] He's launched into the stratosphere.

[19:54] Yeah, I think we can do it.

[19:55] We can do it.

[19:56] And you get a call, Elliot, Elliot, what the fuck?

[20:00] What's the fuck you do it talking about good love guru? I know you're doing it stop it. I can stop it

[20:05] I can see you do I can hear you doing it stop it John am I am am I in an over-the-shoulder graphic right now?

[20:11] And you're looking at it Sharon Sharon. I can see you. You're the one who took it. Don't tell them wrong

[20:18] Sharon we've got a message for Elliot Taylor fuck you

[20:23] Well, we just took what we really took down

[20:26] Oh

[20:27] He doesn't hear this. He doesn't listen

[20:29] But uh the but Zoolander let's I like don't even want to go through the plot in detail

[20:35] But it involves Zoolander's wife has died in an accident

[20:39] His best friend Wilson has been scarred and we're given a ton of exposition delivered to us with a lot of fast-moving graphics and

[20:47] Talking heads as many real-life

[20:49] Newspeople as they get convinced to be in this because again the backbone of this movie is we got a lot of famous friends

[20:54] Let's put him in this movie. Mm-hmm. And at during the end credits, there's a shot of I think Jim Carrey and a mustache

[21:02] Really? I think I like it

[21:05] Like did did they shoot a scene with Jim Carrey that didn't end up in the film

[21:08] But they just threw us a still of it at the end. His name is Ben Stiller. Oh

[21:15] When he was a rock when he was a rock and roll star with Crosby Stiller Nash and young oh

[21:20] God that's even worse. I know that was his dad Jerry Stiller was uh, that was Kevin Nash, right?

[21:29] Jerry Stiller

[21:36] Yeah, and Carl young

[21:38] I

[21:44] Mean they their sound was so fresh for the time

[21:47] But yeah, they I mean young lost himself in hallucinogenics. Sure. Jerry Stiller, of course had too many M&Ms

[21:52] I assume I don't know Kevin Nash

[21:55] Wanders the waist as one of the Magic Mike again

[22:00] Bing Crosby as we all know took his own life as well as for others when he tried robbing a bank

[22:05] No, that's what they called him bank Crosby

[22:10] Okay, I want to get to the point where it's a pun but the words don't sound anything like each other you got there friend

[22:17] Anyway, Ben Stiller's wife was killed. He's lost his son. Yeah, and doesn't know where he is

[22:22] He's living in a remote part of frozen, New Jersey in a cabin and Billy Zane comes along and says hey

[22:28] You've been offered to do this fashion show in Rome. You should do it. Maybe you can get your son back

[22:32] Meanwhile Owen Wilson lives in the desert with a bunch of people that he met at an orgy. He refers to them as orgy

[22:39] They saw his collection of people dressed up in different cultures clothing

[22:43] Yeah

[22:43] and it's one of the few places that you see a lot of people not you'll see a lot of people of color or of

[22:49] Different shapes in the whole movie basically, you know, but it's great because they're their ethnicities seem to be part of the joke

[22:56] They fuck the joke is that any of these people would have sex with like there's a scene later

[23:01] he is he is with another orgy of mismatched people and there's like a

[23:05] Rabbi and an old woman and it's like this is hilarious that people are not just call Susan Sarandon old woman

[23:11] No, there's another woman Susan Sarandon is a senior. Yes, but I would not call her that

[23:18] If anything to call her that is just showing that old women can also be sexy. Oh now you made it gross

[23:26] People would have sex drives Wow, we're

[23:29] Driving a dangerous lane. No, but that's the best thing

[23:32] The joke seems to be it is hilarious that people who are not beautiful would have sex. Yeah, that's crazy

[23:39] Yeah, only a only a bizarre fetishist would have sex with someone who's not gorgeous

[23:44] Like there's a number they when when Zoolander or not that don't look basically exactly like you

[23:49] yeah, when Zoolander meets his son, his son is like overweight and

[23:54] He and they're a bunch of but they're a bunch of you dealt with that description with a subtlety the movie lacks

[24:00] There are a lot of fat just by putting the word like

[24:06] The but what I'm trying to do is not do what the movie does

[24:10] which is a

[24:11] Zoolander to show his ignorance makes a bunch of jokes about how fat this kid is and then later Will Ferrell returns as the villain

[24:17] And makes a lot of jokes about a fat this kid. Yeah, and it's like movie

[24:20] You can't look down at these people for making jokes that are in your movie like you're trying to get people laugh at fat jokes

[24:27] Yeah, you can't pretend you're above it by putting it in the mouths of these other characters

[24:32] Yeah

[24:33] But where did we leave off?

[24:35] Oh, he's but he's so and Owen Wilson's living the desert everyone in the orgy is pregnant including Kiefer Sutherland

[24:42] Mm-hmm, and he just he gets a recall. He also gets a job with Billy Zane tells him about this job

[24:47] they go to Rome to

[24:48] Zoolander to try to win back his son on Wilson to find out who he is and escape his life and they end up in

[24:54] the middle of a

[24:56] some kind of caper conspiracy that involves Zoolander son getting kidnapped and so

[25:03] Initially there they think that they're back into modeling, but they're actually just doing it as a joke and then they feel bad and

[25:10] But it turns out they're they're the old they were putting this modeling show to represent old lame things

[25:16] So that a new model played by Benedict Cumberbatch who is a gender-neutral

[25:21] insult to trans people everywhere

[25:25] It's another thing that like a behind-the-times thing where it's like

[25:27] I could see them getting away with the concept of the joke if not the way it's delivered

[25:33] 20 years ago

[25:35] 30 years ago, maybe 10 or 15 years ago

[25:37] I mean the joke is supposed to be that like oh, there are a lot of androgynous models out there like isn't that

[25:45] Funny that that's a thing that exists in the modeling community

[25:49] but instead it comes across as like

[25:51] The they're like this person doesn't know whether they're male or female like and it's it's crazy that they're gender non-binary

[25:58] It doesn't help that

[26:01] Dependent Cumberbatch's performance is as low as possible as low energy as they can

[26:06] Yeah

[26:07] But that's the way the characters supposed to be I assume but it's not low energy when he during the fashion show swoops down in

[26:13] a winged harness

[26:14] Screeching like a hawk and whipping Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson and it's like why did it but Ben Cumberbatch take this role?

[26:21] Oh now I see why how often do you get to be a hawk monster whipping other people?

[26:27] Yeah, and as you put like the first time that he shows up

[26:29] It did feel like a scene that you're like, why did they they could have just cut this scene?

[26:33] Well also because the character

[26:35] Doesn't come back like it's a one-off joke. The character doesn't come back as like a busy, dude, man

[26:41] Cumberbatch is a big Zoolander head. He's a Z head. He really wanted to be in this movie

[26:46] He's like I will do anything you'd any like the most offensive stupid idea you come up with just put me in a costume

[26:52] Look, I'm a Zoolander fan. We call ourselves Edie's

[26:54] Yeah, this is what then I want to be there and I'm a I'm a big pothead. So they call me a baked CD

[27:00] I

[27:08] Concerned about this like group of overwatchers these like they that are labeling everybody

[27:17] The watchman still, you know, who's he's the Z man

[27:20] I were I'd now I'd want to see like a scare story on the news about are your kids getting involved with the Z heads

[27:27] There's a new subculture on the streets

[27:30] Zoolander fans they call themselves ZD's they put on different colors of

[27:36] Makeup, or they put on different colors of lipstick and they kiss their DVDs of Zoolander to

[27:43] Zoolander rainbow parties, you know

[27:46] Look it up kids. You don't know that urban legend urban legend. Oh, it's swept the nation. Not really

[27:52] That's it's it's a sign of how like the best our urban legends can do now

[27:58] is

[28:00] That one presidential candidate is involved in a child sex abuse ring. That's the best we can do in the 80s

[28:06] Every preschool in the country was supposedly involved in satanic abuse rings. Yeah, dude. There was like a leather man running all over the place, right?

[28:14] Probably

[28:21] That was the 1980s that was the mid 19th century so what I'm saying is there's not enough fake news

[28:27] Let's get some more stuff out there. Anyway, there's like a weird

[28:31] Conspiracy thing going on where like the pop stars are supposedly the pop stars are being murdered

[28:38] But they're like the protectors of this but this chosen one child that's supposed to come it's explained by sting

[28:46] Yeah

[28:47] Wearing a beard that I can only describe as slightly better than Vin Diesel's in the last witch hunter

[28:53] It looks like he's like he came straight off the set of that pirate musical he did

[28:57] The last ship was not a pirate musical wasn't it was about it. It was about like an Irish town. It knows it's God

[29:03] It's about a UK town that builds ships

[29:06] Closing down. I just saw a performance of the basic Thanksgiving Day Parade. You should have been you should have when you didn't see any pirates

[29:16] Was Jackie Chan a pirate

[29:19] Because he would be great. That's not a movie. It should be

[29:22] He's kind of like an Errol Flynn type, here's my pitch. It's Captain Ron, but it's Jackie Chan. It's called Captain

[29:28] Action in it. Let's do it. That's

[29:33] Step into the marsh

[29:40] Greetings early I can do many impressions. I'm I'm a triple threat singer actor comedian

[29:48] I

[29:51] Must say oh

[29:54] Like Pat Sajak isn't the most decent person in the world now for my next character Jim

[30:00] Mini-Gleebglorp, Martian Short.

[30:06] Who's gonna play Martian Short in this, Kevin Chan?

[30:10] Who's gonna play, well, who, let's see.

[30:13] Who's gonna be the perfect foil for Jackie Chan?

[30:16] Yeah, super sick Idris Elba.

[30:19] Oh, wow.

[30:20] Okay, that makes sense,

[30:21] because they're physically very similar,

[30:24] but Jackie Chan, I guess he's the tougher of the two,

[30:29] I mean, he does his own stunts.

[30:30] Yeah, that's true.

[30:31] I mean, he is a martial artist.

[30:32] Did you see that video?

[30:33] There was a-

[30:34] Just put some glasses on Idris Elba.

[30:35] That'll signal that he's retiring.

[30:37] But it makes him even hotter.

[30:38] That's the problem.

[30:39] I was watching-

[30:40] Dan, the things that would look nerdy on me

[30:43] look super hot on a handsome black guy.

[30:45] Scarves, bow ties, loafers.

[30:48] You don't have to fucking tell me.

[30:49] I bought a, I got a like vintage wool tweed overcoat.

[30:57] I'm sure you look like a big nerd.

[30:59] You're like Tyrese can wear this.

[31:00] I was like, oh, Idris Elba looks so good in this and Luther.

[31:05] And then I'm like, oh, the problem is I'm not Idris Elba.

[31:08] Yeah, it's Idris Elba that's making it look good.

[31:10] It's not the coat that looks good.

[31:12] Yeah, did you have like a vision in your head

[31:14] that you'd look at yourself in the mirror

[31:16] wearing the coat and you'd be Idris Elba?

[31:18] Yeah, with my fucking magic coat.

[31:22] I think everyone's had that experience

[31:24] of being like, this is the magic piece of clothing.

[31:26] This is the one that's gonna do it.

[31:28] I mean, I kind of stopped having that

[31:29] after like middle school where I'm like,

[31:33] wow, these fucking awesome.

[31:34] This fedora doesn't really work, does it?

[31:37] Yeah, fedora definitely was what I tried, yeah.

[31:39] I'll look like Humphrey Bogart now.

[31:42] Nope, I just look like an Orthodox Jewish kid.

[31:46] There was like, there was a kid I was friends with.

[31:47] People avoided you because they were worried

[31:49] that you were going to ask them if they're Jewish

[31:50] so you could bless them.

[31:52] So I could hand them a lulav and an etrog

[31:54] and force them to waste a minute of their day

[31:58] doing prayers for my Messiah.

[32:02] I hate, I'm not a fan of those guys.

[32:04] I told you guys, I may have mentioned in the podcast

[32:06] about when I snapped at one of those guys.

[32:08] I was thinking about an idea

[32:10] when I was leaving the subway.

[32:11] And I wanted to get, I wanted to stop

[32:13] so I could write it down.

[32:14] It's Frankenstein's monster, goddammit.

[32:17] And a guy would tell us, excuse me, are you Jewish?

[32:19] And I went, can I not have one moment to myself to think?

[32:24] And he backed away and I felt bad afterwards.

[32:28] But anyway, it reminded me of a friend of mine

[32:33] in elementary school who got, he was probably like nine

[32:36] and he got mirrored sunglasses

[32:37] and he wanted everyone to call him Michael J. Fox

[32:40] because that was the apex of cool.

[32:43] I think the problem is more with the second half of that

[32:45] than the first half of the thing.

[32:47] I think he probably could have looked okay

[32:49] in those mirrored sunglasses.

[32:49] Yeah, he could have pulled off the mirrored sunglasses.

[32:50] He still looks like a kid wearing mirrored sunglasses.

[32:53] Okay, so there's this prophecy that Sting tells them about

[32:58] that in the Garden of Eden, there was,

[32:59] everyone's looking for this fountain of youth, it turns out.

[33:01] In the Garden of Eden, there was Adam and Eve and Steve.

[33:05] And Steve was the most, the first ever model.

[33:08] And he's the most beautiful person ever.

[33:09] And he had a magic face that,

[33:12] when he looked at you hard enough,

[33:14] it turned water into magic life-giving water or something.

[33:18] And the legend is that if you tear out the heart

[33:22] of one of his descendants and blood spurts forth from it,

[33:25] it becomes the fountain of youth

[33:26] and you'll stay young and beautiful forever.

[33:28] And Zoolander goes, oh no, my son is in danger.

[33:31] Well, actually, they go, oh no, your son is in danger.

[33:34] And he's like, why, what, huh?

[33:36] Because the joke is that he's stupid.

[33:37] He doesn't, and there's, it's one of many times

[33:38] during the movie when I was like,

[33:39] why is Zoolander in this movie?

[33:41] Why did they bother to go get him?

[33:43] Because like, he's not doing anything.

[33:46] He's, except, like, he accomplishes nothing

[33:48] until the very last scene.

[33:50] And even then, he doesn't really accomplish anything.

[33:53] But anyway, that was the first bad reaction I had

[33:58] where I was just giving up on the movie.

[33:59] The second was when, so Will Ferrell breaks out

[34:02] of fashion jail, villain from the first movie, I assume.

[34:04] And we see him in the hundredth silly,

[34:11] like, goofy fashion outfit.

[34:13] And I went, and Stuart and I go, oh, enough.

[34:16] But that's the whole point of the movie, Elliot,

[34:20] is to take actors and put them in wacky costumes.

[34:23] And that's the joke.

[34:24] I like wacky costumes, but like, come on.

[34:27] You gotta have something other than that.

[34:28] I gotta say that one of the things that bothered me

[34:30] the most about the movie comedically,

[34:31] and I commented on this while we're watching it,

[34:33] is it's one of these movies where they will make a joke,

[34:37] and then the characters within the movie

[34:39] will comment on the joke or draw attention to the joke.

[34:42] Like that front-of-the-table Wi-Fi joke?

[34:43] Well, the one that I was thinking of later in the movie

[34:46] is Hansel is talking to Derek Zoolander's son,

[34:49] and he's like, he loves you like you're one of his own.

[34:52] Which is like, not a hilarious joke, but it is a joke.

[34:55] Loves you like you're his own son or something like that?

[34:57] Well, no, like you're, no, he says like you're one of his own.

[35:00] And he goes, but I am his son.

[35:02] And it's like, yeah, we get the fucking thing, man.

[35:05] We get it.

[35:07] Like, you don't need to underline.

[35:07] It's like the thing on Saturday Night Live

[35:09] where there's always a character who's like,

[35:10] but why would you do that?

[35:11] That's crazy.

[35:12] What are you doing that for?

[35:13] I mean, that's half of their fucking sketches.

[35:15] Yeah, I guess.

[35:16] Introduce a wacky character,

[35:18] then half of the people just react to them.

[35:20] There's a scene where, so Fred Armisen is showing,

[35:22] kid Fred Armisen, creepy digital effects,

[35:25] kid Fred Armisen is showing them

[35:26] through their hotel they're staying in.

[35:27] It was tough for me to really focus

[35:29] because my brain wasn't understanding what I was looking at.

[35:33] Yeah.

[35:34] And there's a-

[35:35] Your mind was rejecting it.

[35:36] He goes, and we have-

[35:37] It's like when you saw a white screen.

[35:40] You're like, guys, are we watching a movie?

[35:43] Your eyes went blind to protect yourself.

[35:46] Guys, where'd we go?

[35:48] You had a series of what doctors refer to

[35:49] as protective mini-strokes.

[35:52] Well, we've seen these a lot.

[35:54] Zoolander 2.

[35:55] Zoolander 2.

[35:56] Much like firemen would tear down a house

[35:58] in the path of a fire to stop its progress,

[36:02] your brain decided to shut itself down

[36:04] rather than watch Fred Armisen in this weird scene.

[36:07] Thank you, doctor,

[36:07] for putting it into a historical context.

[36:10] I figured you'd understand it better

[36:11] if it had to do with ancient fire prevention techniques.

[36:15] Like the kind maybe in the Edo era of Japan.

[36:18] That sounds really cool.

[36:20] Now-

[36:21] But you were getting the farm-to-table-

[36:22] He goes, and we have farm-to-table Wi-Fi.

[36:25] Throw away joke.

[36:26] And then he leaves the room,

[36:27] and they both start going,

[36:28] what is farm-to-table Wi-Fi, huh?

[36:31] What is that?

[36:32] I don't even know.

[36:33] And it's like, all right, guys, yeah, just-

[36:36] Yeah, you've thrown away whatever minor goodwill

[36:38] your tiny witticism may have endangered in the audience.

[36:43] Speaking of goodwill,

[36:45] this movie relies on so much goodwill from the audience.

[36:50] They assume that you love these characters.

[36:53] Like, you saw that first movie, and you're like-

[36:54] Which, there are plenty of people

[36:55] who do love those characters,

[36:57] or love the first movie, at least.

[36:59] But the-

[37:00] But they assume that you can't wait

[37:01] to see these people return.

[37:02] And that just seeing them is enough.

[37:05] Like, just seeing Derek Zoolander

[37:08] standing there in a funny outfit,

[37:09] you're like, oh my God, thank you.

[37:11] That was what my life has been missing.

[37:13] Like, oh, the villain's henchman is back.

[37:16] Wait while I have an orgasm.

[37:17] Okay, movie, continue.

[37:19] No, no, it's not done yet.

[37:20] Okay, continue.

[37:21] No, oh, oh, okay, oh, okay, continue.

[37:23] Yeah, there was a scene at the end

[37:24] where people just were getting unmasked,

[37:29] where it was like, oh, Kristen Wiig's character

[37:31] was Mia Jovovich the whole time.

[37:34] And you're like, okay, well, this is just great.

[37:37] Are we all supposed to applaud

[37:38] that that lady, remember, from the first movie is in here?

[37:42] Because I wasn't wondering where she was.

[37:43] I mean, at that point, I was like,

[37:45] oh, great, Mia Jovovich, that's great.

[37:46] She's not Resident Evil anymore.

[37:48] Yeah, I mean, look, I like her.

[37:51] She's great.

[37:51] I think that she's always better

[37:53] than like she gets credit for.

[37:56] And I think that she's got a lot of-

[37:56] I like her a lot.

[37:57] It's too bad that she's been trapped

[37:59] in Resident Evil land for a long time.

[38:01] I think that she actually has a talent

[38:02] for light comedy, too.

[38:04] But, you know, what are you gonna do?

[38:07] What are you gonna do, Elliot?

[38:09] Write a light comedy for her.

[38:10] What are you gonna do?

[38:12] Help Mia Jovovich.

[38:13] Shoot the hostage.

[38:14] Convince Quentin Tarantino

[38:16] to write the comeback role for Mia Jovovich.

[38:20] That's gonna be too foot-based, won't it?

[38:22] It's gonna be all feet.

[38:24] If you type in Mia Jovovich in Google

[38:26] and Mia Jovovich feet'll come up, click on that.

[38:27] That's the screenplay Quentin Tarantino wrote.

[38:29] Oh, wow.

[38:30] Is she like a winemaker's apprentice?

[38:34] She's just her stompin' on break.

[38:36] That sounds like a Swedish softcore porn movie

[38:38] from the 70s.

[38:40] Winemaker's apprentice.

[38:42] So, you know what?

[38:44] We've ragged a lot on this movie.

[38:45] Yeah, that's fair.

[38:46] It's not very funny or very good,

[38:47] but, and it feels like someone spent way too much money

[38:52] and that hurts the film in the long run

[38:55] and we don't even need to get into the ending

[38:57] where everyone uses their magic model look powers

[38:59] to stop a bomb from falling into lava

[39:01] in the longest climax scene of any movie I've ever seen

[39:05] where every character gets multiple jokes

[39:07] one after another and there's just like twist reveal

[39:10] after twist reveal to very diminishing return.

[39:13] But also after all these non-actor fashion icons

[39:19] get their individual jokes and reaction shots

[39:22] and it's like cut to them, cut to someone reacting,

[39:26] cut to their face.

[39:27] I mean, it's provided the service to me.

[39:28] Who is this movie for?

[39:30] It did the service to me of showing me

[39:32] something I never knew, which is that Tommy Hilfiger

[39:34] looks like Andrew Lloyd Webber.

[39:36] Okay.

[39:37] Yeah.

[39:38] I mean, the movie's good.

[39:39] Who is, put it on the DVD case, I guess.

[39:42] Was that the fellow's tan who you were in some way?

[39:46] No, no, that, I don't know who that was.

[39:48] Okay.

[39:49] There's some Italian fashion person who appears

[39:50] in the ending. Valentino.

[39:51] Was that Valentino, Rudy Valentino?

[39:53] That's what someone said at some point.

[39:55] Is that his name?

[39:56] And he looks like, he stood way too close

[39:58] to a microwave and said, oh my God.

[40:00] Other man, he's just tanned too much. It's not a real looking tan Stuart. We kept cutting you off

[40:05] What are we gonna say before? Oh, I wanted to get to the good part of the movie

[40:08] All right. What do you want to say something? Oh, yeah, I guess

[40:11] Yeah guys, um, so I've had a pretty good week

[40:20] Agree there was one shining moment and that was one shining star in the movie that there is or maybe I'm speaking to us

[40:26] There was one, you know, I've been working a lot, but it's been okay

[40:29] There was one character in the movie. I found genuinely funny and the guy performing it. I thought was genuinely really

[40:36] about Kyle Mooney

[40:37] As a character named Don Atari who is supposed to be like the new design new hot designer

[40:43] But he's a very too much of a hipster. He's an ironic hipster. He's a bro. We ironic hipster

[40:49] He's a bro, which exists. Yeah, I've met him but like the and so he doesn't it's a lot of like oh

[40:56] This like he has a tattoo he goes check out this guy. He's the worst tattoo artist. I love it

[41:00] He's the stupidest tattoos are so shitty. I don't know

[41:03] Look at what he did on my arm and it's a tattoo of like what was it?

[41:07] he it was like in Colonel Sanders as Obi-Wan Kenobi with a

[41:10] Cloak made it with pot leaves on it and he's saying where's the bean?

[41:15] He's like, I hate it. Why would I do that to my own body? I got it after my dad grandpa's funeral. It's terrible

[41:20] I love it. So like that character he pulls off so well where he's just like

[41:25] You guys are so stupid. I love it. You're terrible. It's great. I love that. You're so lame

[41:30] There's like a weird honesty to his performance. Like everyone else is doing these big broad performances and it's not like

[41:37] I don't know like in a better movie

[41:39] It's not like they wouldn't be funny but like he's committed to it on a human level

[41:44] He's under playing that character if he was like

[41:48] You guys?

[41:50] Wouldn't work but studies like hey, I love it. It's stupid. But yeah, but like it's the worst. It's great

[41:55] But he does it like he just underplays it in a way. That's very funny

[41:58] And it's a character that like you haven't really seen before

[42:02] Yeah, yeah, not and I'm this type of a comedy not in this type of comedy and also like of all it was like the

[42:07] Only character that's a point. I hadn't realized it to you said that it's a character the only character in the whole movie where I'm like

[42:13] Okay, I've seen that person existing in real life

[42:16] Like you're poking fun at a real human being that I've seen and met

[42:20] Whereas like this all this fashion stuff is

[42:23] Itself based around a fake image that other people yeah

[42:27] I mean his like weird fast-talking accent with like bits of slang tossed in there is

[42:33] Kind of how my little brother talks

[42:36] Love you, bro. Love you Andrew. I want to meet this guy

[42:44] But this guy you forgot right after me your wedding Dan was hit by a series of coconuts

[42:51] A series of unfortunate coconuts

[42:55] But uh, no this character like he also gets like a send-off line that we like genuinely laugh for about a minute at

[43:02] It's really funny. Yeah, pretty funny. He is he is a

[43:05] About to get his neck snapped by will Ferrell and in a in a very quick cut. He's like I should tell you I

[43:13] Say like I should tell you I love everything and everybody really deep really truly

[43:17] Snaps

[43:19] the moment because like

[43:22] But even cuz like that's a part of that ironic hipster world now is a very intense forced sincerity

[43:30] Yeah, like navigating between this very like ironic love of crap and also being like hey

[43:37] I love I love you emotionally vulnerable right now. It's awesome. Like that was the one character movie

[43:43] I'm like, you're satirizing a real thing that I've seen. Yeah as opposed to like

[43:51] Like it would be it would be like

[43:53] satirizing maybe if we watched more like

[43:57] What's that? Uh, what's that show with Tim Gunn on it project runaway? Yeah, if we watch this shitload of Project Runway

[44:03] Yeah

[44:09] Yeah, yeah Peter Gunn's TV show

[44:12] Great theme song, but it would be like satirizing like children's imaginary play with imaginary friends

[44:19] We were like this is you know, this is not like a real thing

[44:22] Like you're like a satire about imaginary friends. You're like, I finally take the piss out of these imaginary friends

[44:28] You know, these are not real people. You're satirizing right? It's but whereas that guy it was like, oh

[44:33] Okay, this is a this is a closely observed thing, you know, and he plenty performs it really well

[44:37] So I'm ready for the sequel about that guy

[44:40] I assume would be a prequel and shows how he got to that point because nothing in the world can exist without a minutely

[44:46] Described backstory Wow

[44:49] Elliot taking it to the Star Wars right now. I'm not even thinking about Star Wars necessarily, but like

[44:55] everything, you know

[44:57] All right, you know, it's not gonna be okay damn really yeah, it's not gonna be okay

[45:02] All right, Elliot. We are it's a miracle until we make my karate. Everybody will karate, baby

[45:07] Elliot wants to be an explorer. He wants there to be empty spots on the map to find he doesn't want it to be all

[45:13] Filled out look

[45:14] There's a reason that nobody liked tales from the Mos Eisley Cantina

[45:18] Because I don't need to know how MoMA nadon got to the Mos Eisley Cantina, which ones that that's the guy who's got

[45:24] He's what the last alien you see in the whole like quick cut thing. He's got that long flat brown head

[45:31] He's the hammerhead hammerhead. Yeah, sure

[45:34] As in the overkill song of the same name sure

[45:38] Okay, cool

[45:40] So yes, this what we're saying is Zoolander to go watch that one guy. Yeah, but don't watch the rest of movie

[45:46] I checked actually

[45:48] His big scene is on YouTube. So just look that up. Okay, great

[45:53] But now it's the time to make our final judgments about this movie whether it was a good bad movie a bad bad movie or

[45:58] a movie we kind of liked

[46:00] I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. It's a bad bad movie

[46:04] comedies are the hardest thing to watch when they don't work and

[46:08] this one does not work for

[46:12] 98% of it. There's good lots of there's some jokes in it there. I've laughed at but there's a few good jokes

[46:19] There's lots of good people in it. They can't pull it off. Yeah, I mean, I think this is a bad bad movie

[46:24] I think for the most part it's just kind of wrong-headed

[46:27] And it feels if at the very least it feels like it was made ten years too late

[46:32] It's it's a movie that is wrong-headed and then keeps doubling down on that and going further in the direction that you don't want it

[46:39] there are some moments of strangeness like the

[46:42] at the very end of the movie when

[46:45] Hansel meets up with his family and they reveal, you know

[46:49] They talk about all being pregnant and Kiefer Sutherland comes forward and he reveals Christ. He is no longer pregnant

[46:55] he lost the baby while kicking open the door in an earlier scene and

[47:00] Kiefer Sutherland sells the performance so seriously that we were all sad for a minute because he was grappling with this law

[47:10] Which is presented as a joke

[47:13] And on the face of it the idea of Kiefer Sutherland a man the star of 24 and designated survivor

[47:20] Having a fetus inside of his ears and I soldier is big credit is of the cowboy way

[47:25] Sorry star of the cowboy way

[47:27] It is absurd on the face of it and yet it does not come across as a humorous moment

[47:35] Yeah, turns out chalk up miscarriage with

[47:39] Coded trans person as things that aren't funny in this movie

[47:45] Anyway, so yeah bad bad movie they just did look they didn't know what they were doing

[47:49] How could you know, there were some celebrities that I was happy to see the aforementioned Susan Sarandon

[47:55] Susan Sarandon was okay for a moment

[47:57] Christina Hendricks, there's a scene where with Katy Perry and Neil deGrasse Tyson. Oh my god full it is

[48:05] Painful, uh, Neil deGrasse Tyson has not seen a fucking camera that he doesn't go fucking

[48:15] Yeah, the guy likes screen time sure

[48:21] Tyson in like a 7-eleven like just Danny

[48:26] Hey

[48:29] Say anything about the cosmos. I will it's not like he lost a fucking genie's curse or something

[48:35] Although the movie made it so the S to be in front of a camera every 72 hours three times. Yes, it follows to

[48:42] the I mean the movie literally ends with a shot of Neil deGrasse Tyson and the joke is

[48:48] That he's in the movie. I guess that he's doing a like it's not a movie. It's not a fucking joke

[48:53] He'll be in any movie if you ask actually, you know what he's like goddamn Ron Jeremy and horror movies if you go into the

[49:01] Bathroom and sell them sell say Neil deGrasse Tyson of the mirror three times. He'll appear right now

[49:05] Just show up go do it right now. Hold up. Take hold up your phone. Take a selfie

[49:12] Slumber party

[49:14] Yeah

[49:16] Young people who like to listen to the flop house like your slumber parties stop it, right say Neil deGrasse Tyson three times

[49:22] He's gonna show up

[49:23] The only way to get rid of him is to say Bloody Mary three times in the mirror the only way to get rid of her

[49:27] Say Candyman three times. Oh, man after that, you're kind of on your own. No, you get Beetlejuice's help then you're on your own

[49:33] But there's I will give the movie this it showed the self-restraint that though

[49:39] Yes, the movie did end with an end title sequence that has all the characters dancing

[49:43] It did not have an end credit sequence that shows celebrities all over the world

[49:48] Doing Derek Zoolander faces because it very could have easily ended in that just showing shots and footage of celebrities

[49:55] And then who knows Bibi Netanyahu

[49:57] Vladimir Putin

[50:00] Like just doing just doing Zoolander face at the camera, you know, mm-hmm

[50:07] Yeah, otherwise I would have drank myself to death by now and I would be like one of those weasel ghosts at the end of

[50:12] Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

[50:17] Which I think is our only the only possible end for the three of us is being three weasel

[50:23] Ghosts just playing little heart. It's gonna be so hard to play the harp with my straight jacket the razor

[50:30] I'm that's the that's the weasel. You are that's the weasel. I always liked the most cuz when I was a kid

[50:34] I was like the crazy characters. Okay, that's cool. Now, which weasel are you gangster?

[50:39] the

[50:40] Horny one. Is that one of them anything of Pauly Shore? That's right. I

[50:45] Was kind of you Pauly Shore is like an asexual being

[50:49] I'm a because he reproduces through buddy. Yeah, I think so. That's what yeah, that's why he was in the biodome

[51:03] Going into a bullseye interview, I know that it's somebody who does amazing work, but it's also a real conversation

[51:11] So, I don't know where it's headed. I think you just you just clarified something for me

[51:15] That's never been really clear before. This is the most serious. I've ever been in my life. You've made me complete

[51:23] Like I'm in therapy

[51:25] Bullseye creators, you know creators you need to know find it at maximum fun org or wherever you get podcasts

[51:33] So now we move on to a few fine sponsors with fine products

[51:40] to hawk and

[51:42] I'll be doing them. I'll be doing all the sponsors. Yeah, sure. Get ready. Let's join the sponsors

[51:47] Wait, you know, let me back up

[51:49] Buckle my seatbelt buckle your seatbelt. We're about to enter the sponsor dome

[51:54] super tunnel rocket shoot first sponsor loaded up

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[52:55] It is the black tux dot-com slash flop for free shipping both ways and free home try-on

[53:02] I thought I was interrupting because we have a

[53:06] celebrity endorsement tonight, right Dan

[53:10] Which celebrity is endorsing black tux tonight, Dan?

[53:15] Well, this is clearly a pretty thought-out

[53:18] I've got a big big expectations for this one

[53:21] Dan wow me with it with this set up bid that you clearly have been working a long time on it's a me

[53:28] Mario

[53:31] Going down into the sewers, I gotta wear my overalls, but that means when I'm on my off of the clock

[53:40] When you're on you're off the clock

[53:43] Yeah

[53:49] Wow

[53:51] Okay, this is not not affiliated with black tux talk with the black tux calm

[53:56] What are you talking about black tux calm is not standing by dance comment

[54:02] So let's just say but now you see why I did it. Oh, of course. I see so that we could offend people

[54:08] Yeah, I love that. That's great. Let's move on to the next sponsor. Shall we so the black?

[54:14] You don't

[54:15] So the black tux calm for high quality rental suits and tuxedos

[54:20] Don't go to men's warehouse where as I mentioned I think in a previous episode

[54:23] I had a really bad experience renting a tux and I had to go there both ways

[54:28] Instead the black tux calm and up. We've got another sponsor

[54:32] No killer item of clothing that's got a color to it, but it's not a black tux. It's a blue apron

[54:38] That's right guys blue apron. We all know it. It's how you get fresh

[54:43] Ingredients for fresh meals and I mean fresh in the like 90s cool way straight to your home

[54:48] They deliver you meals at your house, how often is it Dan you're blue blue apron subscriber, right?

[54:55] It's once a week if you I mean, that's I think that you probably could have other things

[55:00] But I think it's just once a week. I don't know. It's once a week. Anyway, look at me and not your phone

[55:06] I mean, I I got it once a week. I just didn't want to definitively say that no one else

[55:11] Let me steer the boat back to me

[55:14] We need to get him some chicken soup or something

[55:16] Well, let's do it's probably over tired

[55:18] Just let me tell you our great nation was found on the principle that all men are created equal, which is true

[55:23] But not all ingredients were created equal check the Constitution. It's not in there

[55:28] Okay, and so fresh or the Declaration of Independence and so fresh high quality ingredients make a real difference

[55:35] That's where blue apron comes in for less than $10 per person per meal blue apron delivers seasonal

[55:42] Recipes along with pre-portioned ingredients to make delicious home-cooked meals. Dan. What was the last blue apron meal you had?

[55:49] It had some pork in it. Okay, I've learned now three times

[55:54] Not to try to include Dan in the sponsor spot

[55:57] I don't know why I keep going back to this poisoned

[55:59] Well that for someone probably threw a corpse into and that's why the water is not a so good to taste

[56:06] So I'll here's what to remember more

[56:08] Oh

[56:10] Even better he goes down pipes all the time, right?

[56:12] It's a plumber for less than $10 per person per meal. You get fresh ingredients

[56:16] Proportioned for that meal, so you don't have extras. You'd have to worry about measuring stuff

[56:21] It's my least favorite part of cooking the measuring actually my first least fair part is waiting for it to finish

[56:27] Second is the measuring there's all sorts of different stuff

[56:31] Yeah, because I'm

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[57:07] blue apron

[57:09] If you're gonna trust a color of apron make it blue. There's a new slogan that I've created for them. It's a me Wario

[57:15] Oh, I hate the blue apron, but you shouldn't listen to me because I'm a villain character

[57:21] Who's much like a bizarro Mario? Mm-hmm or like a walla? Waluigi? Yeah

[57:26] Waluigi, yeah, there's Waluigi. He's like a Wario version of Luigi. They're like, oh, oh, whoa. She I

[57:34] Don't know. What about a wood for toad? I

[57:37] Don't know these answers

[57:41] Go on to deviantART and look up

[57:45] Wa-oad and why what do you say? Koopa Troopa? What were you saying?

[57:51] I will say there's a weird amount of I guess not weird. Probably a normal amount of keep in mind. It is called deviantART

[57:58] Yeah, they're in the world on the internet. There's a lot of interesting pornography featuring the characters. We were just talking about

[58:06] Yeah, so think of that when you get your blue apron meals, yeah

[58:10] Yeah, so you get your blue apron meals and you get your blue apron meals and you get your blue apron meals

[58:17] When you get your blue apron meals

[58:19] Yeah, try to swallow it down as you think about Wario Mario Luigi and all the rest having sex with each other

[58:27] Dan what else are we what else do we have?

[58:35] Hey guys

[58:37] This collection of comedy sketches written by Richard Jensen are guaranteed to bring a smile to geeks and non geeks alike

[58:45] In these sketches, you'll meet a demon from hell who can't buy a soul to save his own a

[58:51] Restaurant patron who uses modern technology to destroy a way

[58:55] To destroy a way too happy couple. Okay. Okay. Wait a minute guys. Stop messing with me. I'm trying to read this copy

[59:02] Yeah, sorry, that was my fault

[59:04] Okay, a restaurant page Elliot flashed his breasts

[59:09] It was very distracting yeah, it was straight out of repossessed pulled a real South Beach Academy

[59:14] I knew a restaurant patron who uses modern technology to destroy a way too happy couple who are ruining his meal

[59:22] friends who debate the effects of favorite movies on president politics a

[59:27] Woman who is way too fond of Jar Jar Binks and many others fun for geeks and non geeks alike

[59:34] So, are you a geek who likes to laugh Richard Jensen's e-book of comedy sketches

[59:39] Tales of the geek nation is on sale at iTunes and Barnes & Noble

[59:45] Hmm Barnes & Noble you say

[59:49] Lino and Barnes & Noble their lawyers and some books

[59:53] Yeah, so check it out guys. Check that out

[59:56] But now we move on to our next segment

[1:00:00] Our penultimate segment, you might say. Letters from listeners.

[1:00:05] It's a thing that we do that allows you to interact with us, the Fluff House.

[1:00:13] Stretch it out.

[1:00:16] The first letter.

[1:00:17] Sometimes there's one segment and there's still another segment after that.

[1:00:23] It's called penultimate.

[1:00:25] Ultimate is not what this segment is, but penultimate.

[1:00:30] Is it the ultimate pen?

[1:00:32] No, that's not what that word means.

[1:00:36] But if you have a good pen, hold it close.

[1:00:39] Write with it every day of your life, because a good pen is worth its weight in ink.

[1:00:46] I think so.

[1:00:48] The penultimate segment of the show.

[1:00:51] After this, it's just one more segment left to go.

[1:00:54] So embrace us and cherish these moments with us, because it won't be forever that we'll be with you.

[1:01:02] And then someday it'll be never, because we'll be dead in the ground.

[1:01:08] But our words will live on all around.

[1:01:11] We'll have inspired a generation and then another generation after that.

[1:01:17] And another and another and another until the Fluff House is the single most important thing in the history of human civilization across every entire nation.

[1:01:29] And we'll destroy you.

[1:01:32] Stuart, would you like to explain the artwork that you put in front of me?

[1:01:39] Yeah, I'm just Googling them Roger Rabbit weasels.

[1:01:42] Thank you for calling that singing.

[1:01:44] I thought you were going to say caterwauling.

[1:01:46] Yeah, I found a picture that features – it looks like a Humpty Dumpty egg that is Roger Rabbit,

[1:01:52] surrounded by a bunch of Sonic the Hedgehog style characters and Pokemons.

[1:01:56] It looks like it was colored with a coloring pencil.

[1:01:59] A coloring pencil.

[1:02:00] That's what we call it.

[1:02:02] In my house, we call it coloring pencils.

[1:02:05] But it looks like it was made with colored pencils, so I like that hands-on approach, as opposed to all these digital effects nowadays.

[1:02:12] Yeah, yeah, sure.

[1:02:13] Hey guys, that last song got a little harsh, a little rough, a little too tough, and I think it was enough.

[1:02:21] And this song is here to apologize for the roughness and toughness, enoughness, the gruffness of that last song.

[1:02:29] It was also too long.

[1:02:31] I think we agree that that's the case.

[1:02:34] Maybe we'll try to make some more space next time for the rest of the show by having less singing.

[1:02:42] Let's ring a ding-ding-ding.

[1:02:45] Let's clang a de-clanging.

[1:02:47] To this bit, let's let it go.

[1:02:50] Let it go, let it go.

[1:02:53] Let's go on and on with the show.

[1:02:56] The song never bothered me anyway.

[1:03:00] At work the other day, your friend and mine, Lauren Sarver.

[1:03:04] Wonderful person, wonderful comedy writer.

[1:03:06] Enslaved to a dog.

[1:03:08] Pulled out.

[1:03:09] She has a dog that bosses her around, yes.

[1:03:12] Pulled out her iPhone and showed me a podcast that her friend was doing and pointed to the run time of the show and was like, this is too long, right?

[1:03:22] And it was an hour and 45 minutes.

[1:03:25] And I pulled at the collar of my shirt comically.

[1:03:30] You closed the browser you were looking at because it was underwatersex.com, which now redirects to The Flop House.

[1:03:37] Thank you.

[1:03:39] For being a friend.

[1:03:41] Travel down the road and buy us domain names.

[1:03:44] Your heart is true.

[1:03:46] Thanks for buying underwatersex.com.

[1:03:50] And if you threw some underwater sex, we probably wouldn't show up.

[1:03:58] I'm sorry it's weird and it doesn't work as well as you think it would.

[1:04:02] So if you're wondering how to unsubscribe, it's really easy.

[1:04:07] Just to say Siri, just take your phone and say Alexa, shut it down.

[1:04:16] And then Alexa comes with we all have like little red laser dots on our chest.

[1:04:23] All right.

[1:04:24] So I'm trying something a little different for this episode of letters.

[1:04:28] More singing.

[1:04:29] No, it's I have five letters here, but they're all one paragraph wonders.

[1:04:35] They're all very short letters.

[1:04:37] So it's just a little experiment.

[1:04:39] Oh, yeah.

[1:04:40] We're just changing up.

[1:04:41] We're fun around here.

[1:04:42] Yeah.

[1:04:43] Yeah.

[1:04:44] We're really breaking breaking the mold.

[1:04:45] This one.

[1:04:46] Eric.

[1:04:47] Last name.

[1:04:48] We're really.

[1:04:49] We're really.

[1:04:50] I'm sure.

[1:04:51] I really.

[1:04:52] We are.

[1:04:53] I recently watched.

[1:04:54] I really.

[1:04:55] The letter.

[1:04:56] So is it that because the letter is so short, you had to get that mispronunciation and the misread as early as I recently rewatched.

[1:05:04] Phantasm and it's still held up, but I was struck by how weird it was on paper.

[1:05:09] You can't describe it.

[1:05:10] A tall undertaker from another dimension uses embalming techniques to transform dead bodies into diminutive slaves.

[1:05:16] And also there are shiny murder balls.

[1:05:18] Looks like you just described it perfectly, but it somehow works.

[1:05:22] And eventually in the series, a quad shotgun.

[1:05:24] So two questions.

[1:05:25] First, what makes very shortly?

[1:05:27] So two questions.

[1:05:28] First, what makes phantasm so effective?

[1:05:31] And second, are there any other movies that make no sense on paper but work really well in practice?

[1:05:36] Thanks, Eric.

[1:05:37] Last name withheld.

[1:05:39] I mean, what makes it work for me is that it establishes a dreamlike atmosphere.

[1:05:44] Yep.

[1:05:45] It feels like a child's nightmare.

[1:05:46] Yep.

[1:05:47] And that's why certain types of logic don't need to always apply in it.

[1:05:51] And why things that aren't fully explained work for me.

[1:05:54] It has.

[1:05:55] It feels like a dream.

[1:05:56] And it drives like a dream, too.

[1:05:59] Oh, yeah.

[1:06:00] Listen to that.

[1:06:01] You can barely hear it.

[1:06:02] Listen to that hyper.

[1:06:03] Oh, come on.

[1:06:04] Feel that vibration in the seat?

[1:06:05] Barely.

[1:06:06] You're going 100 miles per hour and then you realize it.

[1:06:07] And there's things in it that you don't see in other horror movies, like these weird-ass floating silver balls.

[1:06:13] Yeah.

[1:06:14] And the fact that the movie has basically two locations and it defines them, I think, really well.

[1:06:20] Like they're both dreamlike but at the same time like their house and the cemetery.

[1:06:27] Yeah.

[1:06:28] There's a sense of real defined space.

[1:06:29] That's something you look for often in a movie, Stuart.

[1:06:30] Yeah, yeah.

[1:06:31] A sense of real defined physical space.

[1:06:33] And they do an amazing job of that with those locations.

[1:06:36] And it's a short movie.

[1:06:40] Like there's no wasted time in it at all.

[1:06:43] Nope.

[1:06:44] All killer, no filler.

[1:06:46] So other movies—

[1:06:47] And some still a stiller.

[1:06:49] Really?

[1:06:50] Every now and then, yeah.

[1:06:51] Okay.

[1:06:52] So—

[1:06:53] I'm surprised you didn't notice those.

[1:06:55] You've seen the movie a lot of times.

[1:06:57] Yeah.

[1:06:58] I look at my phone a lot.

[1:07:00] So movies that don't work on paper—see, Dan mentioned this question to us earlier.

[1:07:07] And I misunderstood it to mean movies that have like a kind of gaping plot hole but still work.

[1:07:12] And the one that came to my mind was Planet of the Apes in which Charlton Heston takes two hours and the Statue of Liberty to realize he was on Earth even though he's been speaking English the entire movie with apes that speak English.

[1:07:24] American English with a mixture of American and British accents.

[1:07:28] And there's no point where he's like, it's really weird that—it's weird enough that on this planet, apes and humans evolved even if they evolved in this divergent path where apes are superior to humans.

[1:07:37] But that the English language exactly as I speak it arose independently on this planet.

[1:07:44] The odds are crazy.

[1:07:46] Maybe he got like a babblefish stuck in his ear or something.

[1:07:48] Possible, yeah.

[1:07:49] I mean they do land in a lake.

[1:07:50] Maybe a babblefish got stuck in his ear.

[1:07:53] You know, for me, when I was thinking about this, I was thinking about movies that kind of rely on the general charm of the characters.

[1:08:02] So things like Magic Mike XXL or even like Everybody Wants Some, the movie from this past year.

[1:08:13] Yeah, which I loved.

[1:08:14] But those are both movies that like not a lot really happens.

[1:08:18] There's not much plot, and so much of it is driven by the fact that you're like, oh, I just like spending time with these characters.

[1:08:24] They're fun.

[1:08:25] Yeah, I mean My Dinner with Andre is a movie that on paper does not work.

[1:08:29] It's just two guys in a restaurant having dinner and talking about whatever.

[1:08:34] But like it's a really engrossing movie, and like when you're watching it, you're like, oh, this is directed by a director who knows how to build dramatic tension out of two guys talking at a table.

[1:08:44] Like this is a really good movie.

[1:08:46] What are you going to say, Dan?

[1:08:47] Are you going to say something like E.T. doesn't work because aliens don't exist?

[1:08:51] In Raiders, Jindy doesn't need to be there.

[1:08:54] So I –

[1:08:55] Professor.

[1:08:57] Even though I got this.

[1:09:00] Ting-tang-wa-la-bing-bang.

[1:09:01] Even though I got this question early and had plenty of time to think about it, I can't come up with anything.

[1:09:08] So I'm just going to say Tango and Cash.

[1:09:10] Okay, sure.

[1:09:11] I mean there's also the two special Fs, two movies I have a special fondness for that other people have varied mileage with.

[1:09:18] The Fall and The Fountain are both movies that on paper are incredibly hard to explain.

[1:09:24] But the effect when I watch them is very powerful to me.

[1:09:27] There's movies too that have twists that –

[1:09:33] And shouts.

[1:09:35] Twists that people have a problem with but I don't have a problem with and I think work in spite of themselves.

[1:09:41] Like that Steven Soderbergh movie about the drug?

[1:09:44] Oh, yeah.

[1:09:45] I haven't seen that one.

[1:09:46] That one –

[1:09:47] What was that called?

[1:09:48] You can spoil it.

[1:09:49] Contagion.

[1:09:50] Not Contagion.

[1:09:51] Contagion is a good movie.

[1:09:52] Side effects.

[1:09:53] Side effects.

[1:09:54] But no, like The Prestige, like the end of that where it turns out –

[1:10:00] Should be like a science fiction II yeah

[1:10:02] Explanation like a lot of people

[1:10:04] Lose that movie at that point, but I feel like it David Bowie's there, dude

[1:10:09] But it really under like it underlines it

[1:10:11] I think that that makes the movie deeper because it underlines the theme of the movie that character being so committed to

[1:10:18] to both on like both undoing the other character and his art form that he's willing to literally die on stage every

[1:10:27] Night and in addition the one of the themes that the movie is building along

[1:10:30] It is that magic is only enjoyable when you know

[1:10:33] It's not real and when when like when the earth returns back to its normal state afterwards and that if the magician could actually

[1:10:40] Accomplish those things in reality. It would be terrifying. Yeah, it'd be horrifying and and and

[1:10:47] Terrible if a human being had those powers that like a magic show is only enjoyable because you know you're being tricked and that

[1:10:53] Means it's okay. You're not watching a wizard or someone with with super science

[1:10:58] You know the speech you just delivered would have sounded great coming out of Michael Caine. I

[1:11:04] Just thought of another one I think he says something similar to that

[1:11:06] I really like the movie The Phantom of the Paradise

[1:11:08] And I think that like sort of a gonzo rock-and-roll retelling of Phantom of the Opera sounds terrible

[1:11:14] But it manages to work in the in the filmmaking. I thought gonzo was weird casting, but he really pulls it off

[1:11:21] It's me the Phantom of the Paradise or something like a rocky or a picture show

[1:11:26] Yeah, it sounds so strange doesn't work on paper at all, but it has to smell. Yeah

[1:11:32] Yeah, I agree. I was younger

[1:11:34] I remember watching rock a picture show me like I don't believe someone wrote this like there's songs in it

[1:11:39] So it must have been written, but it's so crazy

[1:11:42] Yeah

[1:11:42] and it gets crazier as it goes along to like it starts with like one foot in grounded reality and then just by the end you're

[1:11:48] like what is in my

[1:11:52] Taking drugs

[1:11:53] By the point when they're all in bustier swimming in the pool. It really loses me

[1:11:57] Oh, yeah, I'm like, I don't know what's going on in this movie

[1:11:59] I think that that kind of works because it's supposed to be like a late night like back of a double bill science fiction show

[1:12:05] So it recreates that feeling of like as the night goes on and you get sleepier

[1:12:11] You're not really sure what you're actually seeing. Okay, that's fair. I can see that

[1:12:16] Anyway, so the next question is a title Dan is amazing and a question about Dune

[1:12:23] So Dan wrote this one

[1:12:26] Questions about doing lately. Yeah, is it why don't you just write this to fucking Tom Brokaw?

[1:12:32] It's from Ryan who knows it. Yeah, it's Ryan withheld

[1:12:35] Ryan Johnson director of Star Wars episode 8 big fan. You guys are his you guys are the best especially you Dan

[1:12:42] I do have a question regarding Dune. Is it worth it?

[1:12:45] I haven't read the books or seen the movie, but it seems up my alley since you guys like it

[1:12:50] Anyways, keep doing what you're doing. I think you did write this letter Dan

[1:12:54] Are you just trying to get us to answer whether or not we like the books Dune?

[1:12:57] I mean the movie if you're watching it not for plot, but just for crazy visuals is

[1:13:04] Is we know I like a lot but I kind of grew up with it

[1:13:07] So it's hard to like the book is a genuinely good book

[1:13:09] Yeah, the first Dune book and the sequels your mileage may vary but like the first Dune book out love

[1:13:15] It's really great. Yeah, and if you if you end up reading it

[1:13:19] Friend of the show Tom Fowler cartoonist Tom Fowler who made the lovely rocket crocodile poster that we sell for charity

[1:13:26] at the Mike's fun store

[1:13:28] he after reading Dune kind of recently put together a

[1:13:32] Selection of like basically cartoons of all the characters and it's a really interesting

[1:13:37] Take on just like the outfits and the clothes and stuff that Tom Fowler and also like national newsman Tom Brokaw loves it

[1:13:44] The two Tom's like I started reading Dune literally three days ago. How far you in it?

[1:13:50] My Kindle says I'm 14% of the way through. Mmm. What do you think of those Sadhu car?

[1:13:58] About that Baron Harkonnen, what a jerk. Yeah, I got I've read a little bit about him. What a cool guy fat

[1:14:04] Yeah, and his evil mentat. I imagine that dude likes to tweet a lot

[1:14:11] His meals

[1:14:13] Topical

[1:14:16] So, let's move on

[1:14:18] To an org on the speed round of letters

[1:14:21] Slowest letters ever. This is from Anne Marie last name withheld and Marie

[1:14:26] I was listening to an old episode where Stuart was talking about them. So now I want to know

[1:14:31] Elliot you ever call your son Sammy rye

[1:14:35] No, I have it. That's a good question. I have not I call Sammy boy

[1:14:40] Samson

[1:14:41] Samuelino

[1:14:42] Samsonite sometimes well, the thing is he's never just a little boy. You're nervous about you know

[1:14:48] Committing him to that kind of a life of servitude. It's where he's serving his Lord, but it's a life of the time

[1:14:53] You know the thing I mean what it really is

[1:14:55] Is that like I'd be fooling myself if I know he came from a samurai lineage lineage where etta if anything

[1:15:00] The lowest of the low and yeah, you handle dead bodies. Yeah

[1:15:05] So if unless he by some

[1:15:08] Miracle is named a samurai by a great Lord because maybe he saved his life

[1:15:12] I don't know and the Lord is particularly merciful. Mm-hmm, then maybe someday he'll be Sammy, right?

[1:15:18] Well in Elliot's also scared that there'll be an estrangement between the two of them and Sammy would have to become a Ronin

[1:15:23] Oh, that would be terrible where he would walk the demons road of my fu motto

[1:15:27] Yeah, Ronin Pharoah hosting a shitty show on MSNBC

[1:15:31] before it gets canceled

[1:15:34] Yeah, you're just making fun of him now because we were never allowed to make fun of him on The Daily Show

[1:15:38] Yes, I can't confirm or deny that but yes

[1:15:43] This next letter is from Eli last name withheld Whitney. He says do you guys have any advice for making a tough decision?

[1:15:51] Currently realizing I hate my job and terrified yet

[1:15:54] Also extremely apathetic about switching careers starting over even if it'll make me happier. Thanks, dude

[1:15:59] You're the sweetest peaches now. Apparently you mistook us from a bit BAM, but I'm happy to

[1:16:06] Hey, do you think there's that what they would ever do a crossover with Mobius the kind of artist and do call it Moby?

[1:16:12] Mobius BAM well first off that would be great except didn't Mobius die kind of recently did die a few years ago

[1:16:19] That's pretty recently in this

[1:16:22] crazy thing called life

[1:16:24] Okay

[1:16:25] now here's here's I'll give you a serious answer for this because this is how I

[1:16:29] Advise for making a tough decision if you forgot what the question was, this is how I make tough decisions

[1:16:33] I'm a big fan of making pro and con lists and being very honest with myself

[1:16:37] About what the pros are and what the cons are. What is the what are the advantages to doing this thing?

[1:16:43] What are the disadvantages and now before you do that?

[1:16:45] You have to make a pro and con list about making a pro and con list. No, that's a waste of time down. All right

[1:16:51] Sorry, I apologize. It was being super like honest. Yeah, he was opening up his heart

[1:16:57] Mm-hmm opening open your heart to us. He changed. Oh, yeah

[1:17:02] Go on he changed

[1:17:04] And we hold a bus

[1:17:06] He changed the tags on this podcast from comedy to self-help exactly

[1:17:12] So I make a pro and a con list and I am very honest with how I think it'll turn out and what I want

[1:17:17] From this thing then I think what is the best case scenario?

[1:17:21] what is the worst case scenario and is the risk of the worst case scenario worth the payoff of the bet possibly the best case

[1:17:28] scenario and

[1:17:29] Then you just got to do the math yourself

[1:17:31] Once you've laid out all the different factors

[1:17:33] You can treat it almost like an equation and see what where that where the heavier weight is and where it makes the most sense

[1:17:40] Make the decision knowing of course that any hard decision

[1:17:43] Decision any hard decision

[1:17:45] carries some aspect of risk and

[1:17:48] that even if it goes the wrong way that risk can be empowering in that you are taking your life in your own hands and

[1:17:57] Operating over your own destiny in a way that you don't really get that many chances to in your life

[1:18:02] and so I would say you got to put a thought in it be honest with yourself figure out the factors and then

[1:18:09] Take a moment to

[1:18:11] Recognize the power you have in that moment over yourself and your place in the world and just be satisfied with that

[1:18:16] No, no, you got it all wrong

[1:18:17] what you got to do is you have to be a passive figure in your own life and let your wife make all of the

[1:18:24] big decisions for you and then get divorced and feel completely adrift and

[1:18:30] Unable to comes and chops your fucking nugget off

[1:18:36] Wow, right

[1:18:38] Yeah, that was what I was talking about. You're talking about Macbeth. That's right

[1:18:42] I can't think of anyone else that that refers to whether you were talking about

[1:18:45] Chops, you know

[1:18:48] I'm sorry that you were having a moment of emotional honesty and I had to bring it back to the bar

[1:18:52] No, no, no, no Dan interrupted my moment. I don't think I interrupted

[1:18:58] Waited calmly for you. Oh, no. Wait, it was Stuart who interrupted. Yeah. Yeah. I stepped all over it through salt on your moment

[1:19:03] It's my turn boys our moments I got two things to say first off is I do all my best thinking when I'm either

[1:19:11] Jogging or when I'm in the shower because I shower jogging

[1:19:17] Jogging shower, that'd probably be great because that combines the two activities and I don't have to waste any time doing them

[1:19:23] So that's pretty sweet. Yeah

[1:19:26] If you're lucky, you'll just slip and break your neck and you'll never have to make a decision ever again

[1:19:30] It'll be dead or paralyzed my little weasel ghost would fly up in the air playing the harp

[1:19:36] The the other one is is basically something that I

[1:19:40] I know I said to you when you were leaving the Daily Show

[1:19:43] Which is it doesn't know if you have the I think if you have the opportunity and you don't mind doing the work

[1:19:50] It's always a good idea to try to bet on yourself

[1:19:54] Because I don't I think a lot of people don't don't really do that enough

[1:19:58] And

[1:20:00] You deserve to take a risk a couple of times in your life and as long as youíre going

[1:20:08] to work for it, you should do it.

[1:20:13] I hope that one of the advices you got today helps you, Eli.

[1:20:20] Probably not mine.

[1:20:21] Mine and Stuartís are mutually inclusive.

[1:20:24] They both work together.

[1:20:25] Yours, of course, is a cry for help in a cold, dark world as if from the bottom of

[1:20:30] a deep well.

[1:20:33] Stuart is comfortingly shaking Danís shoulder right now, much as a not particularly emotionally

[1:20:40] open hockey coach would to a player who has just learned that he has youth cancer.

[1:20:46] Sorry, youth cancer, is that different from regular cancer?

[1:20:50] Yeah, itís hip and cool.

[1:20:52] Itís hip and cool, yeah.

[1:20:53] Itís ironic.

[1:20:55] It eats Go-Gurt, I guess.

[1:20:56] It eats Go-Gurt and itís always on its damn phone.

[1:21:01] So this last letter is from Christopher, last name withheld.

[1:21:04] Columbus.

[1:21:05] Where am I?

[1:21:06] Is this India?

[1:21:07] No, Christopher, youíre on the New World.

[1:21:09] Iím going to stop making the Harry Potter movies.

[1:21:12] Mario, what are you doing here?

[1:21:19] Itís called ì$700,000 Idea,î and it goes like this, ìThe Thriller music video, except

[1:21:28] theyíre cats, and at the end, Cat Michael Jackson opens his eyes and theyíre human

[1:21:33] eyes.î

[1:21:34] Surprised no oneís done that yet.

[1:21:37] Wait, so they would be cats and theyíd turn into cat people?

[1:21:40] Thatís the part of the podcast where people are really high.

[1:21:45] Dan, I would like that if, just as SNL puts it, itís ìweirder and often best sketches

[1:21:50] in the 12.55 AM slot.î I would like it if youíd put the weirdest short letter at the

[1:21:58] last end of the mailbox.

[1:21:59] Iíll try and do that from now on.

[1:22:00] The best part about watching that music video with the cats is that youíre going to see

[1:22:06] them and youíre going to be like, ìThose cats are adorable.

[1:22:08] I love them.

[1:22:09] This makes me so happy.î And youíre going to see that ending from a mile away, but when

[1:22:13] it happens, youíre still going to crack up.

[1:22:15] No, itís going to look weird.

[1:22:16] A cat with human pupils?

[1:22:17] Itís going to terrify you.

[1:22:18] Oh, boy.

[1:22:19] I love cats, but if my cat looked at me with human eyes, Jesus Christ.

[1:22:25] Can you imagine?

[1:22:26] Imagine it.

[1:22:27] I demand that you imagine it, Stuart.

[1:22:30] I can see you imagining it.

[1:22:32] Youíre smiling.

[1:22:33] Youíre smiling.

[1:22:34] Oh, itís starting to worry you a little bit.

[1:22:35] Youíre a little frightened.

[1:22:36] Now heís looking at his phone.

[1:22:37] He got bored.

[1:22:39] Alright, so now we go to our last segment of the evening, which is recommendations of

[1:22:45] movies you should watch instead of wasting your life with Zoolander 2.

[1:22:49] There are a few movies Iíve seen where I felt such a more palpable sense of, ìI only

[1:22:55] have a limited amount of time on earth.

[1:22:57] Why am I doing this?î

[1:22:58] That the art form has limitless possibilities.

[1:23:00] Yeah, yeah, thatís what I felt.

[1:23:02] I mean, is it my least favorite movie weíve ever watched?

[1:23:05] No.

[1:23:06] That would still be Home Sweet Hell, but even during Home Sweet Hell, I didnít get that

[1:23:10] feeling of like, ìI missed out on helping my wife, my son, to bed tonight because I

[1:23:17] had to leave to get to Danís to watch Zoolander 2.

[1:23:20] What am I doing with my life?î

[1:23:23] Iíll just put him to bed tomorrow night.

[1:23:25] Sure.

[1:23:26] I mean, you have infinite nights to put him to bed.

[1:23:28] I feel like thatís like a Christopher Nolan movie, right?

[1:23:32] Well, no.

[1:23:33] Itís that movie.

[1:23:34] It was the sequel.

[1:23:35] Where Genie casts a spell, and it lets you put your kid to bed infinite nights.

[1:23:38] It was the sequel to First Night with Sean Connery, Infinite Nights.

[1:23:42] Oh, wow.

[1:23:43] Which was about way in the future.

[1:23:45] Itís basically, itís multiplicity, but with Sean Connery from First Night.

[1:23:49] King Arthur just, he doesnít have enough time to get around to do all the things he

[1:23:52] needs to do, so he clones himself.

[1:23:54] But Merlinís spell is a little wonky, so the clones come out weird.

[1:23:58] So, I never saw that movie.

[1:23:59] Was it super sexy, Dan?

[1:24:01] First Night, Iím talking about.

[1:24:02] First Night?

[1:24:03] Are you asking me?

[1:24:04] Yeah.

[1:24:05] Uh, wait.

[1:24:06] It felt like a, kind of like an exotic Marigold Hotel type movie.

[1:24:10] Like itís sexy, but forÖ

[1:24:11] First Night?

[1:24:12] Itís a retelling of the King Arthur story.

[1:24:14] No, but itís like sexy, but for the olds.

[1:24:17] Now, what kind of exotic Marigold Hotel are you talking about?

[1:24:21] Because you just said exotic Marigold Hotel, and I donít knowÖ

[1:24:24] Probably the best.

[1:24:26] Now, I want to see, I want to see someone give, uh, the movie is this, these old people

[1:24:31] talking about their vacation, and theyíre like, eh, it wasnít the best exotic Marigold

[1:24:35] Hotel.

[1:24:36] Yeah.

[1:24:37] It was one of the better exotic Marigold Hotels.

[1:24:39] Theyíre going through Yelp, right?

[1:24:41] Yeah.

[1:24:42] Like, this Marigold Hotel is, you know, subpar compared to many Marigold Hotels.

[1:24:46] Iím just having to say that.

[1:24:48] And of course, the worst is when they canít pay the bills.

[1:24:52] The building gets bought out by a big chain, and becomes the best western Marigold Hotel.

[1:24:56] Loses all of its local charm.

[1:24:58] Yeah, I couldnít, Iím sorry, I wasnít engaging in your First Night talk, because I was looking

[1:25:05] at the Flophouse recommends page, because, uh, yet again, I have not watched a movie

[1:25:10] recently.

[1:25:11] We watched Superman 4 the other night, Dan.

[1:25:13] Yeah, IÖ

[1:25:14] In preparation for a very, very fun day, which should be fun.

[1:25:18] No.

[1:25:19] The very before.

[1:25:20] Where, yes.

[1:25:21] The week before, yes.

[1:25:22] This will be, so sorry, actually this will be released, weíre recording this before

[1:25:23] Very, Very Fun Day, weíll be releasing it a week after Very, Very Fun Day.

[1:25:24] Yes.

[1:25:25] So hopefully, uh, we havenít been locked up and kept in jail in Chicago.

[1:25:26] Uh-oh.

[1:25:27] For being too dang charming.

[1:25:28] Yeah, I mean, if they could put us in jail, that would be great.

[1:25:29] Yeah.

[1:25:30] So, uh, weíre going to have a lot of fun.

[1:25:31] Uh-oh.

[1:25:32] Uh-oh.

[1:25:33] Uh-oh.

[1:25:34] Uh-oh.

[1:25:35] Uh-oh.

[1:25:36] Uh-oh.

[1:25:37] Uh-oh.

[1:25:38] Uh-oh.

[1:25:39] Uh-oh.

[1:25:40] Uh-oh.

[1:25:41] Uh-oh.

[1:25:42] Uh-oh.

[1:28:43] Uh-oh.

[1:28:44] Uh-oh.

[1:28:45] Uh-oh.

[1:28:46] Uh-oh.

[1:28:47] Uh-oh.

[1:28:48] Uh-oh.

[1:28:49] Uh-oh.

[1:28:50] Uh-oh.

[1:28:51] Uh-oh.

[1:28:52] Uh-oh.

[1:28:53] Uh-oh.

[1:28:54] Uh-oh.

[1:28:55] Uh-oh.

[1:28:56] Uh-oh.

[1:28:57] Uh-oh.

[1:28:58] Uh-oh.

[1:28:59] Uh-oh.

[1:29:00] Uh-oh.

[1:29:01] Uh-oh.

[1:29:02] Uh-oh.

[1:29:03] Uh-oh.

[1:29:04] Uh-oh.

[1:29:05] Uh-oh.

[1:29:06] Uh-oh.

[1:29:07] Uh-oh.

[1:29:08] Weíre gonna make your payrolls too full.

[1:29:09] Uh-oh.

[1:29:10] Uh-oh.

[1:29:11] Uh-oh.

[1:29:42] Uh-oh.

[1:29:43] Uh-oh.

[1:29:44] Uh-oh.

[1:29:45] Uh-oh.

[1:29:46] Uh-oh.

[1:29:47] Uh-oh.

[1:29:48] Woah, uh-oh.

[1:29:49] Uh-oh.

[1:29:50] Woah.

[1:29:51] Uh-oh.

[1:29:52] Uh-oh.

[1:29:53] Uh-oh.

[1:29:54] Uh-oh.

[1:29:55] Ah-oh.

[1:29:56] Uh-oh.

[1:29:57] nut heart.

[1:29:58] Uh-oh.

[1:29:59] Uh-oh.

[1:30:00] Uh-oh.

[1:30:01] Uh-oh.

[1:30:02] Uh-oh.

[1:30:03] Uh-oh.

[1:30:04] Uh-oh.

[1:30:00] Panther movies got well it was also it was also one of those it was it was

[1:30:07] before Peter Sellers had gotten to his and Blake Edwards had gotten to their

[1:30:11] Peter just kind of walk around and do stuff and it'll be hilarious mode yeah

[1:30:16] which it event which the movies eventually got to and the movies it took

[1:30:19] more we've got like weirdly racist as they went on to like there are a lot

[1:30:22] more like Peter Sellers putting on like as it's putting on costumes and being

[1:30:28] characters of other nationalities yeah pretending to be Chinese and things

[1:30:32] like yeah but then also it had what it took what took Zoolander two movies I

[1:30:36] guess to get to it took the Pink Panther movies longer which was like they just

[1:30:39] got too big yeah and too special effect there's which one is it that ends with

[1:30:43] that him and Kato get into a get into the like Pink Panther mobile at the very

[1:30:50] end and it breaks down and it's a super unfunny gag that takes forever because

[1:30:55] they have to get into this stupid looking car and then it just breaks

[1:30:58] down yeah I don't know like all of the later Pink Panther movies have such

[1:31:01] interchangeable names they might as well be fast in the Furious films but a shot

[1:31:06] in the dark sets itself aside by being good and having a memorable title so and

[1:31:12] it's got one of the greatest Henry Mancini themes outside of the original

[1:31:16] Pink Panther thing yeah it's like this this main theme is great not that not

[1:31:20] the the streets of Paris and they plays a couple different ways throughout the

[1:31:30] movie yeah the swing and wave version of it that plays the nudist colony yeah

[1:31:34] really good song yeah there's a scene where Peter Sellers bumbles through

[1:31:38] nudist comedy what more do you want out of it it's like a quick moving scene

[1:31:42] yeah it's still a little long but it's not it doesn't take forever yeah that's

[1:31:46] a good recommendation Dan thanks a good recommendation for once okay so I'm

[1:31:51] gonna jump in here I don't think I talked about this on the podcast and we

[1:31:57] we brought up Debbie Reynolds earlier but well it was a couple weeks ago now

[1:32:02] that Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds passed away and that the night that

[1:32:07] Debbie Reynolds passed away my wife and I watched postcards from the edge a

[1:32:10] movie I hadn't seen up to that point and it's really great it's a movie based on

[1:32:16] Meryl Streep's or not Meryl Streep Carrie Fisher's memoir where Meryl

[1:32:21] Streep plays a Carrie Fisher analog basically and Shirley MacLaine plays a

[1:32:27] Debbie Reynolds analog and it's just this great little story about a woman an

[1:32:34] actress kind of dealing with the general shittiness of Hollywood and it's got

[1:32:42] it's held together by these amazing performances by these two actresses and

[1:32:47] it's rare it's it's great to see a movie about a mother-daughter relationship

[1:32:52] that is both interesting and dramatic but it isn't like it's not all

[1:32:59] melodrama and it's I don't know it's just really great and the little details

[1:33:06] of Meryl Streep's performance the way she my wife was talking about how Meryl

[1:33:11] Streep shows both a like love and a respect but also such hatred toward her

[1:33:20] mother and some of those scenes it's just so great yeah so check it out I'm

[1:33:26] gonna recommend the movie about so let's let's not let's make no bones about it

[1:33:33] we're living in a time where the person who's in charge of our country is it's

[1:33:37] kind of frightening where it's gonna go and we're not gonna fight you on that

[1:33:41] one okay I know you guys are sure to see that hat you're wearing yeah yeah it

[1:33:46] says this buds for you for me yeah it says make America grape again it's a

[1:33:55] California raisins thing yeah no I mean we're basically I'm assuming you're

[1:34:03] going to be recommending the Super Mario Brothers movie because the president

[1:34:07] reminds me so much of Dennis Hopper's version of Bowser yeah or King Koopa as

[1:34:11] he's also yeah big buzzer to his friends dude no but I've been thinking a lot

[1:34:16] about movies that take place in the person that I feel like I've been

[1:34:20] hearing a lot of comparisons between the president and is Mussolini and I was

[1:34:24] thinking about movies about Italy under Mussolini and one that I saw a little

[1:34:28] while ago that I found more affecting than I thought I would and I kept

[1:34:33] thinking about afterwards is a movie called love and anarchy it's a Lena

[1:34:37] Wertmuller movie and it stars Giancarlo Giannini as this guy who is kind of a

[1:34:42] yokel from the sticks in Italy it's it's the time Mussolini is in charge and he's

[1:34:46] a guy who kind of has nothing to lose and decides he's gonna be part of this

[1:34:51] conspiracy to assassinate Mussolini and he's supposed to meet up with a

[1:34:55] prostitute at this one brothel in Rome he's gonna hide out there and she's

[1:34:59] gonna help him accomplish this assassination and he falls in love with

[1:35:02] one of the other prostitutes there and finds himself kind of torn now because

[1:35:08] he thought he didn't have anything to live for and now he kind of does but he

[1:35:12] feels like he needs to accomplish this mission and doesn't know how to embody

[1:35:19] these two these two different drives of finding personal happiness or making

[1:35:24] this huge political impact and it kind of shows just how screwed up anyone's

[1:35:30] life is under a government that is doing terrible things there's it doesn't it's

[1:35:36] does a little bit too much of something European movies do which is romanticizing

[1:35:42] brothels as places where the ladies are all kind of like the ladies are in

[1:35:45] control and having a grand old time and the clients who come in are just kind of

[1:35:50] like bumbling fools that they are that they have fun with but I feel like at a

[1:35:54] certain point the movie accomplishes what sucker punch was trying to

[1:35:57] accomplish where it's like a look this guy's living at a brothel and there's

[1:36:01] women in their underpants around him all the time actually it's not that fun

[1:36:05] place to be you shouldn't ever fan you shouldn't have made the mistake of

[1:36:08] fantasizing about that or seeing it as a fantasy and the movie has a far more

[1:36:12] wrenching ending than I expected but it's really interesting and the and I

[1:36:17] think it's really good it's called love and anarchy all right three movies

[1:36:22] Italian like a Mario like a Mario it's me I like whatever that movie was that

[1:36:29] Elliot was a recommending really listening but I think I'm gonna like it

[1:36:35] cuz it takes place into my home country of Italy I will watch you while I'm

[1:36:39] lounging around in my black attacks huh that's me that's that's a callback

[1:36:44] that's a no that's a good boss that's a that's a good callback there ain't no

[1:36:48] sanity clause anyway well that's been us for now so let's uh let's say thanks

[1:36:56] to our network max fun sure there's a lot of great shows on there there's a

[1:37:02] ton of great networks I think it's more that's the level of tired I am this is I

[1:37:14] lately I've been noticed a when I'm usually pretty good without sleep I'm

[1:37:19] getting a great amount of sleep lately and I'm starting to recognize that it's

[1:37:22] affecting me and that I I'll be like okay Sammy got to get you undressed for

[1:37:27] your bath throw your clothes in the garbage and he'll be like daddy just

[1:37:31] threw my shirt in the garbage like oh right sorry I thought that was a hamper

[1:37:35] uh let me get that out of there we're like look time to wash your hands I

[1:37:39] start putting toothpaste on his toothbrush daddy no well that's the

[1:37:43] thing you're explaining to me that you saw you're a real mr. mom you said I

[1:37:48] used to be a mr. dad you saw that TV show supernatural finally at 200

[1:37:52] episodes so you're like I gotta finish it I gotta watch all these apps what's

[1:37:57] happened to the brothers yeah okay I finally pick up charmed no seriously go

[1:38:04] on a show that charmed go check out max fun org there's a lot of great max

[1:38:11] there's a lot of great shows in your shade Oh No Ross and Carrie the

[1:38:16] adventure zone what uh what channel picked up is that what what channel is

[1:38:20] the throne shade show oh yeah cool awesome and my brother my brother me

[1:38:27] have their show coming up on see so mm-hmm there's TV shows all around man

[1:38:31] and this is coming out after a very very fun day thanks to the people of Chicago

[1:38:35] for what I assume will be a a tumultuous amazing welcome that you're gonna be

[1:38:40] giving us and the other show and the casserole pizza that my wife and I are

[1:38:44] going to eat and immediately fall asleep for three days I'm guessing but it's

[1:38:51] been a delight to be with you but we gotta go thank you for the flop house

[1:38:55] I've been Dan McCoy hey you know I'm Stuart Wellington and I'm Ellie Kalin

[1:39:01] and I want you to just remember hey do something good for someone every single

[1:39:05] day you'll feel better put it forward we're backward sideways good night with

[1:39:11] Paul Giamatti

[1:40:00] on the channel, definitely there, who cares?

[1:40:04] Could you see the look on my face when I was like, when can I jump in with the Mr. Belvedere

[1:40:10] theme?

[1:40:11] Oops, I keep missing.

[1:40:12] I saw Mel pick that up from your brain.

[1:40:16] Saw the look on my face, he saw the hamster wheel cooking up.

[1:40:22] Maximumfun.org.

[1:40:23] Comedy and culture, artist owned, listener supported.

Ep. #224 - Zoolander 2

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