Ep. #227 - 1941

[0:00] hey everybody it's me john hodgman the new host of the flop house this is an incredible

John Hodgman

[0:29] special episode of the flop house because it's max fun drive i'm here with my inferior co-host

[0:38] elliot cannell dan mccoy and stewart wellington and this show now belongs to me and that's just

Elliott Kalan

[0:45] the way it is how are you guys doing i guess i guess we're starting the show you really rested

[0:51] control in the power vacuum all right well let's go to a break

John Hodgman

[0:55] give a little time to the child within you be afraid to be young and free

Stuart Wellington

[1:02] i'm hoping in the new regime i can fulfill the role of bully henchman

[1:07] you're gonna be like a crab goyle type you're the guy who when hodgman's plan is defeated at the end

Elliott Kalan

[1:14] by the hero you go you go over to give him some solace and he pushes you away in anger

John Hodgman

[1:18] i don't remember which which one it was whether it was crab or goyle but one of those one of those

[1:25] young actors i was like that guy's got a future and i have never been more wrong

[1:29] now you draco malfoy's on the flash that's how far his future went oh wow uh anyway that's the top

Dan McCoy

[1:39] thing that you can be is a factor on the flash so just to be clear make it let me make it clear i

John Hodgman

[1:44] would like to be on the flash all right like uh great grilante i am here and i'm in wardrobe i'm

[1:50] wearing a flash costume as we speak so yeah if you're gonna pick the flash is already cast but he

[1:54] could play any number of characters yeah we're their ultimate and there are many different earths

Elliott Kalan

[1:59] the flash villain the turtle who was super slow i was gonna that would be great i was gonna make a

[2:03] joke about that but apparently that's the thing that exists he was a real character from the silver

[2:07] age stories here's what he would do he'd bob a bank he's already been on the tv show uh

Stuart Wellington

[2:11] excuse me uh bully henchman shut him down please oh he's already been on the show thank you so much

[2:17] and he can't be the trickster because that's mark hamill from the old flash show is he in the he's

Elliott Kalan

[2:21] in the new flash show too elliot come on i haven't seen this new flash yeah i don't know if you're

Stuart Wellington

[2:29] gonna pick if you're gonna pick a berlantiverse show would it be or would you like to be like a

[2:36] rival millionaire on arrow if i were gonna be in a berlantiverse show yeah oh super girl super girl

[2:43] super girl not legends of tomorrow where you could play like an old west cowpoke who hangs out with

John Hodgman

[2:48] jonah hex i here's what i here's what i have to say uh uh arrow has no claim on my heart uh-huh

[2:55] uh the flash they're full up they don't need it they don't need me at all stuffed yeah they already

[2:59] got uh uh five what's his names uh who's the actor the guy from tom cavanaugh tom cavanaugh they got

Stuart Wellington

[3:08] five tom cavanaugh yeah tom cavanaugh's all over that shit sometimes uh many different characters

[3:14] oh professor zoom no that's a different bad guy in this okay so you know what two different

John Hodgman

[3:20] i'm talking to i'm talking to my friend stewart about the berlantiverse i'm just confused about

Elliott Kalan

[3:24] whether we actually started the show this is apparently a flash cast you heard me start the

John Hodgman

[3:28] show right yeah that's true okay so it's it's goddamn started i just assumed since we immediately

Elliott Kalan

[3:33] then went into flash talk without even pretending that we watched all right be quiet elliot so if you

John Hodgman

[3:39] were going to ask me seriously about which berlantiverse show i'll be in it really would be a tie for legends

[3:45] tomorrow or supergirl and here's the deal sure flash is full up they've got all the character actors

[3:50] they need lots of ed cavanaugh's oh elliot it's tom cavanaugh's it's two i thought you were gonna

[3:55] help me with this so sorry about that all right would you please wedge wedgie elliot while i talk

Stuart Wellington

[3:59] thank you i uh i'm menacingly slapping a sap against my palm it seems way harsher can you buy

Dan McCoy

[4:07] sap spaces like where do you buy that wedgie and you're gonna blackjack the man

John Hodgman

[4:13] just go get a wedgie hook down down in the 7-eleven dan i have two questions for you okay no let me

[4:20] answer my question i i would want to be in supergirl because she's such a supergirl

[4:27] you're talking about calista flockart no no she's not even on the show anymore

[4:32] they moved they moved it over to the cw and she's no longer on the show she's not gonna be not even

Dan McCoy

[4:37] as a hologram no she's not gonna be on a cw show you can't match her quote the cw has a restraining

Elliott Kalan

[4:43] order against calista flockart yeah because they were dating for a while and she they broke a cw

[4:48] was like i'm sorry this is not working for me and she was like i can't have you no one can have you

[4:52] and she started stalking people she burned down one tree hill and and they had to

John Hodgman

[4:57] interesting order now it's no tree hill sean young oh maybe yeah so i guess i would be a legend of

Stuart Wellington

[5:03] tomorrow for sure okay i think you and victor garber would be great together oh what if i played

John Hodgman

[5:09] young victor garber i built a good ship for you rose or biggie being godspell if you're playing

Elliott Kalan

[5:16] young victor garber or the even younger baby victor garber all right well once again relies to me

John Hodgman

[5:22] john hodgman to bring this thing back on track this is the flop house this is the flop house

Dan McCoy

[5:28] it's a podcast it's a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it what's special

[5:34] about this episode dan well one special thing is we have mr we have mr john hodgman with us and why

[5:40] do we have that uh because it's a bonus episode that we're doing because it's the max fun drive i thought

John Hodgman

[5:46] i thought i thought it was because we were friends but that's right but by bonus you just mean extra

Elliott Kalan

[5:52] this we're not releasing it's an extra episode people are listening to this right now yes okay

[5:56] people are like they're not like i don't remember going to a secret hallway and unlocking a special

[6:01] door with my key code now you're this bonus episode you're right that i should differentiate

Dan McCoy

[6:05] bonus episodes because there are certain things called bonus episodes that have something to do with

Elliott Kalan

[6:10] the max fun drive yeah we'll talk about much the same way flammable and inflammable are the same

Dan McCoy

[6:14] you use bonus for two different reasons uh i think that's the opposite of what happened but go on

John Hodgman

[6:19] the word cleave means its own opposite oh that's true yeah split and to hold together and speaking of

[6:25] cleavage we just watched the movie 1941 directed by that much cleavage it is oh did you not see the

[6:32] nancy allen scenes no i mean that those were the those were well i don't i look i i don't want to

[6:38] disgust your viewers by reminding them that i am a sexual being

[6:42] but this movie 1941 directed by steven spielberg is one of the most profoundly

[6:48] disturbing provocative and erotic movies in my young childhood uh it's a real late consequence

Elliott Kalan

[6:55] that's as good that's as good a tease as any for us to now talk about the max fun drive and then get

[6:59] back to the erotic awakening of young john hud i don't want to stop

Dan McCoy

[7:04] uh the max fun drive is a very special time what's what's max fun maximum fun is the podcasting

[7:11] network that we belong to it has uh many great shows including john hudgman's show judge john

Stuart Wellington

[7:17] hudgman and now the flop house judge john hudgman's show uh and now and maximum fun is thus called that

Elliott Kalan

[7:22] because it is the maximum amount of fun the human body can have without shutting yeah if you'd had any

[7:27] more fun than you you get from you go into renal failure oh your reens would fail immediately yeah

Stuart Wellington

[7:31] you would have the most failingest reens and it's uh it's almost exclusively listener supported yeah

[7:38] it's always been a listener supported network yes that means you the person who's hearing this

[7:42] oh i thought you meant me basically i don't know basically what you do with your money basically all

Dan McCoy

[7:48] of our money comes from donations from people like you you know there are people out there i know

[7:52] saying you you lying assholes i listen to you do ad reads every week don't undercut the cell on the

Elliott Kalan

[7:59] flop house no no but that's a fair point we do do we do do we do do ads in that we kind of poop

Dan McCoy

[8:05] them out we don't do a great job but but 80 percent 80 percent of the far more than 80 percent the

[8:11] money oh yeah ellie starts the cfo of the flop house well i'm the treasurer as the treasurer and

Elliott Kalan

[8:16] secretary of housecat productions the corporation that owns the flop house uh we mainly do ads because

[8:21] they're fucking awesome and hilarious and they're only for products we believe in like mac welds in

[8:25] the underwear i'm wearing right now but anyway the the thing most i can tell because i'm wedging you

[8:30] the vast majority of the money we receive comes from viewers and by viewers i mean listeners

[8:37] like you i don't know what you're looking at while you listen to this so just call yourself a listener

[8:41] but we uh but it means a lot to us we did it's true we did this podcast for a long time

[8:46] gratis for free but since we joined the max fund network and we started making money for it it means

[8:51] we're able to put more time into it we're able to do a slightly more professional job

[8:55] we're able to really make this more of a focus of our creative efforts generally longer episodes

Stuart Wellington

[9:00] longer episodes uh more often episodes um and we're able to fill in for the mcelroys when they

[9:06] have babies by doing uh episodes of their dnd podcast and it also helps us to feel the confidence to

Elliott Kalan

[9:13] perform knowing that people care enough about us to show us that love in the form of hatchman's eyes

Dan McCoy

[9:19] are rolling they're rolling out of his skull across the floor into a little mouse hole well you i mean

John Hodgman

[9:27] i'm sorry you lack the confidence first off to watch a terrible movie and talk about it the

Stuart Wellington

[9:32] eyeballs as beanbag chairs i'm just wondering why dan hasn't closed up all the mouse holes in his

[9:38] apartment i guess he's hoping for friends to climb out of there oh that's sad i watched max magician

[9:45] legend of the ring uh yep that's a callback uh so did i and you're after watching that movie you

[9:51] were inspired to drill mouse holes into the wall that's right in the hopes that a magical character

Elliott Kalan

[9:56] will show up with and you hung signs all over the neighborhood that says cheese available

Dan McCoy

[10:00] ask for dan jokes on you a magical character did show up and pooped all over my food

Elliott Kalan

[10:05] so we'll talk more about the max fund drive later right but yes your chance that's a little teaser

Dan McCoy

[10:11] it's your chance and what's the url for that dan it's maximumfund.org forward slash donate we'll

[10:17] talk more about what you get when you do donate when you do when you do do donate uh yeah paul what

Stuart Wellington

[10:24] was the post guy doug doug i'm so sorry paul doug uh but first let's get back to how he prefers to be

Elliott Kalan

[10:31] referred to by his middle name let's go back to how 1941 perhaps the least liked movie in steven

Dan McCoy

[10:36] spielberg's career not call not counting crystal skull what about always yeah always is a pretty good

Elliott Kalan

[10:41] i feel like always people say like well it's nice to see audrey heffburn at that point in her life

[10:45] there's nothing about like that you think you think it doesn't feel good to see robert stack at this

[10:51] point no that's a fair point all right anyway but uh john hodgson you referred to it as being part of

[10:56] i guess what helped you discover doing it so how old were you when this movie came out in 1979

John Hodgman

[11:02] well i was born in 1971 so can you turn the lights down

[11:06] boom set the mood music

[11:09] that's my fucking bit

[11:15] uh so i was born in 1971 the movie came out in 1979 you do the math i was brought to it my by my dad

[11:25] for reasons that i now severely question because as you know your dad would usually see a movie first

Elliott Kalan

[11:31] to preview and make sure it was okay for you then take you to it well it was knew it was happening it

John Hodgman

[11:36] was a pg movie and it was it was branded as a comedy and i and i feel like he might have been

[11:44] misled to some degree about the content of this film he might not have known

Stuart Wellington

[11:49] had you seen the previous steven spielberg movies

John Hodgman

[11:52] no

Stuart Wellington

[11:55] any indication of being a huge fan of that director you were big suge head as sugarland express fans were

John Hodgman

[12:00] i uh i i'm sure that i did not i did not see jaws i had not seen jaws at that time i may have seen

[12:10] close encounters i know that i had seen annie hall with my babysitter which is technically not a

Elliott Kalan

[12:17] steven spielberg movie but it's hard to not know that it's not no but i remember i know the kinds of

[12:21] movies it was it was a time because of the expertly timed chase scene woody allen goes well there's

Dan McCoy

[12:26] that part where diane keaton reached out her finger to woody allen and then she went back home to her

John Hodgman

[12:32] home planet right it was a time it was a time when children were being brought to the movies because

[12:38] irresponsible adults wanted to take two hours out of their lives and see and and movies were made for

Elliott Kalan

[12:45] grown-ups at that time and there was that the kind of movie that fell into the no man's land between

[12:49] pg and r right pg-13 rating did not exist yet exactly so it was like until what red dawn

[12:55] the flamingo kid post post grams and templa dums okay uh as some people would call gremlins and

[13:03] devil doom they didn't like them i like both those movies uh-huh greater or lesser degree was

John Hodgman

[13:07] oh wow pg-13 movie it was not that but that was the one that that and that really pulled that

[13:13] heart out of that dude's chest yes but because there were because there were no boobs they were

[13:17] like this is good for kids was red dawn the first red dawn was the first pg-13 i thought i thought it was

Elliott Kalan

[13:24] uh the flamingo kid with um uh they might have come out at the same time i don't know well in any case

[13:29] there's no way to research it we just don't have the technology there was there was no amount of

John Hodgman

[13:35] heart pulling out of chest temple of doom that that scarred me and in and titillated me as much as

[13:45] uh going to see 1941 with that nude lady at the beginning of the film in a parody of jaws and a

[13:55] film he had not seen at that point no i had no so and i have this vague this vague memory that we got

[14:02] to the we went to the cleveland circle uh theater in cleveland circle uh brookline massachusetts and

Elliott Kalan

[14:08] if a kickstarter doesn't start right now to put a plaque up on that theater to commemorate your scene

[14:12] oh it's been torn down oh yeah well whatever building's there put a plaque up the cleveland

John Hodgman

[14:17] circle i think the ground round is still next to it so you can put a plaque there that's where that's

Elliott Kalan

[14:21] man ate his weight as a kid after seeing 1941 that's what i that's where i went on my first friend date

John Hodgman

[14:28] with my wife katherine fletcher actually so you could put a plaque there for sure but uh we went we went

[14:35] there i know that we went to the cleveland circle and i i my memory is that we arrived late to 1941

Elliott Kalan

[14:41] it was already 1942 by the time yeah okay and it was like welcome to the firmer mcgee and molly show

Stuart Wellington

[14:47] no don't open that don't open the whole closet

John Hodgman

[14:50] click click click click click click click the sound of people turning off a podcast because they don't

Elliott Kalan

[14:56] what's new in the world of role-playing games if you want to see what stewart's checking on his phone

[15:03] right now just switch to sap i think that we now let's check in on jack benny and rochester and what

John Hodgman

[15:09] they're up to which is also a 1941 i mean 1941 referenced a lot of weird old yeah culture that

[15:17] doesn't exist anymore but my dad and i showed up and i think we were like 20 minutes late and i'm like

[15:21] i don't want to go into movie 20 minutes late my dad said i'm going in even as a child you're like

[15:27] this is not the way this film was meant to be seen precisely and the funny thing about it was this

[15:32] movie was not meant to be seen so my dad went in to see it and i just waited until the next showing

[15:39] and then he very graciously let me come in and what and we watched it again what is weird about that

Elliott Kalan

[15:46] he's already seen the movie that is true love for his son that he watched it twice i think he just

[15:52] wanted to see that nude lady at the beginning of the movie fair the internet didn't exist yet it's

John Hodgman

[15:56] harder to see nude ladies that nude lady so at the beginning of the movie a woman goes into the ocean

Elliott Kalan

[16:00] this movie is set in the year of the title 1941 and it's loosely based on an incident when people

[16:07] started shooting into the skies in california because they thought they saw japanese planes but it

John Hodgman

[16:11] didn't actually happen right after pearl harbor everyone on the on the west coast of the united states

[16:15] was afraid that uh japan was going to invade at any moment it was back when the united states was kind

Elliott Kalan

[16:21] of gun crazy back then we've gotten over that now and also afraid of foreigners in a way that is just

[16:28] not really understandable to today's americans and so steven spielberg got together with john

John Hodgman

[16:34] millius and robert zemeckis and bob gale and they're like let's make a funny comedy otherwise known as

Elliott Kalan

[16:38] hollywood's comedy brain trust john millius we're going to take the comedy genius of john millius

John Hodgman

[16:44] how can we how can we create some comedy genius i know right after pearl harbor we got so paranoid

[16:52] that we put every japanese american into a prison camp that's a funny idea for a comedy and they made

Stuart Wellington

[16:58] it it's called 1941 i mean they don't really cover the prison camps in this one but maybe that was in

Elliott Kalan

[17:03] the bloops that we didn't see there's a whole subplot they must have cut out that's that was

John Hodgman

[17:08] gonna that was clearly gonna be the attorneys yeah yeah there was so much reference like offensive

[17:14] reference to japanese american and japanese citizens it was the movie could not have possibly have been

Elliott Kalan

[17:22] made today or ever it's it was uh during it seems like it was made during that that kind of the what's

[17:30] the flip of golden that brief that period when when the freedom of the filmings of the 70s

[17:36] leaden yeah like like clashed and and merged head-on with the emerging kind of like bro capitalist

[17:44] culture of the 80s in a way where suddenly it was like rich white guys trying to rape women

[17:50] is funny and like is a is a sign of heroism and freedom in a way that like i don't understand it

[17:56] but that's just how it is these days guys so there's a lot in this movie of like guys trying

[18:01] to get with women in ways that are like not even that or just make your stomach turn but the movie is

[18:06] like boys will be boys right this is pretty funny stuff come on right go ahead what well no oh well

Stuart Wellington

[18:13] this uh but it's clearly like also inspired by it feels like this was made by people who don't

[18:19] understand comedy and we're like national lampoon is funny everybody loves national lampoon let's just

[18:24] do what they do yeah totally just stick it to the broads because if there's anyone needs to be

Elliott Kalan

[18:30] taken down a peg it's women even when i saw the movie equal rights amendment passed almost yeah

John Hodgman

[18:37] comedy is punching down elliot always that's the person you're standing on when i was eight years old

[18:42] and i saw this film finally after waiting in the lobby for the first half an hour it's so insane

Elliott Kalan

[18:48] were you reading a book reading it up i don't know i was john read john hodgman reading a book

John Hodgman

[18:54] i'm trying to figure out because there were the cleveland circle the cleveland circle also had an art gallery

Dan McCoy

[19:00] so was this a sort of art gallery where you could you know like it was basically a coffee house where

[19:09] you could buy what was up on the wall for 30 bucks yeah of course oh yeah when you when you sat down in

John Hodgman

[19:13] the cleveland circle cinema uh in cleveland circle brookline uh before the show started they would

[19:18] say make sure to visit our art gallery excuse me make sure to visit our art gallery everything is for

[19:24] sale and it was a very it was a mid-century modern cinema and you could check out their modern art

[19:31] that was up there and i mean that's pretty cool it for a while while i was thinking about why my dad

[19:35] had gone into a movie without me and i'm eight years old i'm alone in a lobby are you saying you didn't

Stuart Wellington

[19:41] try and earn your your movie fair by beating people in in arm wrestling matches or something

John Hodgman

[19:48] it never occurred to me that i could beat anyone ever but i do remember going into the movie and

[19:53] then seeing the scene that you're discussing which is that treat williams plays uh what a member

[19:58] first of all this movie this movie has 17 000 characters they thought they were making

Elliott Kalan

[20:04] nashville when they made this movie there's so many characters they're all running around they get

[20:09] picked up and dropped haggledy-paggledy and their plot lines peter out or explode at random moments

[20:15] and they're constantly like you're an hour into this movie and they're still introducing characters

[20:19] and you're like it i have to assume that like gary a middle-aged gary marshall saw this and he was

[20:25] like bravo this is how movies are supposed to be made i'm gonna make so many movies with a ton of

John Hodgman

[20:30] characters just dumped i can't wait to make pearl harbor day the movie that's my terrible imitation of

Elliott Kalan

[20:38] paul f thompkins doing a great imitation of gary marshall rest in peace rest in r.i.p paul f thompkins's impression of gary marshall

John Hodgman

[20:44] also paul f thompkins is dead what um but yeah no so treat williams played one of the many ten

[20:52] thousands characters and uh he uh he was the biggest star in america at this time right

Stuart Wellington

[20:58] well who i oh he's a real treat to see in the movie and his name continues on in our halloween

Elliott Kalan

[21:03] sangham trick or treat because of his short-lived partnership in a series of movies with johnny trick

[21:09] oh elliot johnny trick was a dog in real life no i'm making it up as i go along also a male

John Hodgman

[21:18] porosity if you're not singing i don't want to hear it anyway tree williams played a a a member of a

[21:27] tank battalion who who got a a fixation upon a young woman sure who was being courted by the ostensible

[21:36] lead of the movie a character named wally played by hang on i gotta look this guy he's the hero of the

Elliott Kalan

[21:43] movie much the way danny is supposed to be the hero of caddy shack and yet disappears for a broad swaths

[21:48] of movie because he's not that entertaining right exactly so it's like in that moment in caddy shack where

[21:52] the waitress goes danny i'm pregnant and you're like wait was i supposed to care about this character

[21:57] wait she's australian yeah yeah i said good day mate you threw another sperm on me bobby

[22:03] does that plot go anywhere what happens to her in caddy shack yeah i don't know uh she gets

Dan McCoy

[22:10] hit by a ball and it knocks the baby out of her gopher steals the baby i mean it's another

Elliott Kalan

[22:16] raises it as one of its own this movie is part in that that milieu of a woman in a movie is pregnant

[22:22] out of wedlock and you're like oh shit this guy's got a real problem on his hands her life does not

[22:28] enter into the scenario right how does this affect this dude who was just going to be a caddy for the

John Hodgman

[22:32] summer yeah so i don't like that movie the ostensible main character in this film is bobby de chico oh

[22:38] okay yeah who is not a dancer and a short order cook and he is not a very good waiter let's just say that

Elliott Kalan

[22:45] no well he doesn't like to take orders but also yeah literally one of his a major part of his job

[22:51] everyone in the movie gets one defining characteristic his is he loves to dance and i guess he's a bad

[22:57] and treat williams is that he hates eggs and i guess he's a rapist our hero though is i don't i don't

Stuart Wellington

[23:04] think you have to say i guess on that one do you think that this was built out of like a second city

[23:08] style like improv routine where they're like let's just take some suggestions from the audience go away

[23:13] for 15 minutes we'll write the entire script and then very possible like uh okay doesn't like eggs

[23:20] uh likes to rape women uh only gets sexually turned on when in a flying aeroplane but the not the not

Elliott Kalan

[23:27] like oh so that that's another so every character has a certain sexual peccadillo much like all the

[23:34] great comedy characters of comedy films have one thing that they do over and over throughout the entire

[23:39] movie every time just think of charlie chaplin the marx brothers right uh all of them where they have

[23:46] just one single thing they all hung off clocks yeah harold lloyd all he does is hangs off clocks

[23:52] that's it charlie chaplin all he does is eat shoes that's it groucho marks all he does is kind of like

[23:58] i don't know smoke a cigar forever and all that harpo does as it says is the name is hurts it is he

[24:04] harps on and on about the most boring topics and of course silently yeah and of course chico

[24:09] marx is always doing this with his cheeks that's it you couldn't hear but i did the cheek sounds

Stuart Wellington

[24:14] no i could hear it disgusting you couldn't see it elliot was carefully masturbating

Elliott Kalan

[24:19] gently gently gently this is quite good keep it gentle

[24:30] keep it gentle softer gentler gentler i don't even want to feel it gentler elliot gentler so that's

[24:37] how i talk to myself when i'm masturbating yes that's how you're talking to yourself

Stuart Wellington

[24:40] you do a third person affect a cool voice

John Hodgman

[24:42] in kind of in kind of like a british butler voice yeah gentler i like to

Elliott Kalan

[24:47] i like to be gentle my sex play involves me being the guy who's always helping jack benny at stores

[24:53] yes frank nelson oh

John Hodgman

[24:58] oh

[25:00] john has been just roaring i knew i knew his name once and now and now i realize you knew his name

Elliott Kalan

[25:07] always yeah i feel terrible the no that's right so let's we should quickly go through just describing

[25:12] each of these characters or many of them real quick there's treat williams the rapist who hates

[25:16] this cast is stacked there's in fact it has robert stack see you guys later i don't know there's the

[25:23] dancing waiter who wants to be a dancer and doesn't like or Bobby did you cheer Bobby did you but he's

[25:27] robert stack who's a general who just wants to watch dumbo there's john belushi who's a crazy

[25:31] fighter pilot who basically just blew to the pilot and is at certain different points barely human he's

[25:36] just an animal in a in a plane grumbling and throwing things at people there's warren oates as a

[25:42] general's just hanging out in the mountains shooting things there's eddie deason as a guy who sits on a

[25:47] carousel as eddie deason for japanese subs and he has a ventriloquist dummy that never really pays

[25:51] off with the mayor of amityville from jaws there's tashiro mafune as the japanese sub commander who

[25:56] wants to attack los angeles there's christopher lee as a nazi guy who's with him on the sub he's just

[26:00] along for the ride there slim pickens as a cowboy they pick up to get information about where la is

[26:05] that turns into a long scene about slim pickens having to poop out a compass on the sub

[26:09] there's who else there's dan akroyd as the tank commander doesn't really tell a lot of jokes

[26:13] john gammie as one of the supporting guys in the tank doesn't have a lot of lines in the movie

[26:17] mickey rourke mickey rourke has almost no lines and he's just another tank guy there's also uh there's

[26:23] uh what what other characters oh there's tim matheson who is trying to lay nancy allen the

[26:29] whole time and the only way to do that is to get her up in a plane because she's totally turned on by

[26:33] flying in planes when she goes up in a plane she's magically aroused so even though he can't fly

[26:38] he is going to steal a plane under false circumstances and fly her up there so that he

[26:42] can do it and then i guess crash having fulfilled his dream of having sex ladies and gentlemen the

John Hodgman

[26:47] listeners of this podcast now that you've listened to this entire dramatis persona i haven't even

Elliott Kalan

[26:51] mentioned wendy joe sperbo sperber who is the dancing baby's a pretty big character the dancing

[26:56] waiter's friend who's obsessed with tree williams joe flarity there's ned beaty the dad of the

[27:01] girlfriend who has an artillery gun parked at his house and learns the joy of firing it through his own

[27:06] house later there's joe flarity as a foreigny owner of a dance hall where there's a there's a

Stuart Wellington

[27:11] competition going on for best dance and there is an actor that we just can't seem to place the name

[27:17] of who is also part of the tank battalion that is not john candy and john landis shows up in a brief

John Hodgman

[27:23] cameo there's a really dusty guy not even that brief he's he shows up a couple of times and what

Elliott Kalan

[27:28] you need to know also is this is not the spielberg of saving private ryan spielberg directed this

[27:33] now this spielberg of saving private ryan who is in awe of the greatest generation maybe a little too

[27:38] much and considers them gods who landed on earth to free us from nazis in this telling world war ii

[27:44] was full of slobs yahoo's incompetence losers morons rapists goofs and goons your general goofs and

[27:51] goons collection and he's like greatest generation more like gooniest gooneration there's got to be at

Stuart Wellington

[27:58] least one character with redeeming value eddie decent is a ventriloquist we've said that already

John Hodgman

[28:03] i gotta say you've heard all of the characters in this film and all of their motivations i think i've

[28:07] mentioned one quarter of the characters in the movie clearly you the listener understands the screenplay

[28:14] writes itself you know where this is going from the beginning and where it's going to go till the end i

Elliott Kalan

[28:20] mean we're lucky if you're still listening if you didn't stop the podcast throw your phone in a

Dan McCoy

[28:25] fireplace and run out to rent 1941 honestly you list that cast and those characters and you think this

[28:31] has got to be the greatest movie that has ever been made this is the reason celluloid was invented

John Hodgman

[28:35] this is you honestly sell it pretty hard because it is when you describe it as it is it is so

[28:42] wackadoo and out there that people out there might be tricked into thinking oh this is crazy i'd like to

[28:48] see what a crazy movie they made nope just go see skidoo that's gonna do what you want it to do it'd be a

Stuart Wellington

[28:53] crazy movie full of stars i feel like maybe i don't know i can't place that maybe 15 20 years later

[28:59] when mars attacks comes out it kind of had the same effect where like i remember seeing the trailer and

[29:04] being like oh my god it'd be hilarious the night sky is dark for all the stars are in mars attacks

[29:09] only to be disappointed at the time obviously i've come to like the movie more i think than i

Elliott Kalan

[29:16] except mars attacks for all of its i mean that's basically a light lightweight goof this is the

[29:21] most lead in heavy heavyweight goof slow yes heavyweight goof it's like if goofy the disney character

[29:28] i mean just i guess got divorced and lost his will to live and gained like 700 pounds like that's what

[29:35] we're watching right now it's a it's a very heavyweight goof it's like there's so little

[29:40] there's so little sense of coherence in the movie but instead of coming off like a hell's a pop and

[29:46] craziness it just is like you're it's at a certain point your brain is just like i'm just watching

[29:51] lights and flashes in front of my face and occasionally a long scene where someone's trying to have sex with

John Hodgman

[29:57] a lady well there is no there's never any sense in the movie of who who are they trying to make fun of

[30:03] here like what what is the what is the hysterical target of who's the funny guy you know like there

[30:11] there's a moment where wally the dancer and bad short order cook says i'm not going to take orders from

[30:17] you which has a certain amount of v post vietnam era like i'm against the i'm against the uh the like the

[30:27] military establishment military establishment but the military establishment as portrayed in that time is

[30:32] like we just got attacked by japanese like we're in the middle of a war for our existence we got

Elliott Kalan

[30:37] attacked by one country and that country's ally is the most evil people in the world right like it's

[30:43] very weird it's it's a weird thing to be taken like a i mean unless you're joseph heller and you've

[30:48] been through the war and your target is military bureaucracy or miscommunication or incompetence yeah

John Hodgman

[30:54] that's a different thing that well this whole movie seemed to be based on the premise that war

[30:58] is idiotic circus chaos and that is hilarious to see things fall down and blow up well that war is to

[31:07] be despised blowing things up is super fun everyone involved and everyone involved in the practice of war

[31:13] is a craven monster or an idiot fool and that it derives directly from the the vietnam and post vietnam

[31:23] films so mash as you mentioned elliot while we're watching towards you well you know that's a korean war

Stuart Wellington

[31:30] film i think he was talking about the monster mash actually not to undercut oh i did mention that

Dan McCoy

[31:35] anyway it appears i was working in the lab late one night oh we've heard about your graveyard smash

Elliott Kalan

[31:39] dracula asked whatever happened to transylvania twist and that's a good question nobody dances

[31:44] anymore but it was huge because it never existed i mean for you the living this dance exists too

Dan McCoy

[31:50] but mash was saying for you the living this dance is too yeah yeah you just want to make sure that

Elliott Kalan

[31:58] that's what it's like lincoln said it's rather for us the living to finish the work they left undid of

[32:03] the monster mash the uh yeah the it feels like transylvania berg address yeah it feels like nobody

Stuart Wellington

[32:15] is competent in any way in this movie the filmmakers yeah well that's true i mean there are how dare you

[32:22] sorry i apologize there are these long scenes where there's no jokes whatsoever yeah nobody is

Elliott Kalan

[32:28] competent comedically in any okay yeah yeah there's there's a few moments where people sell jokes

[32:34] and there's one dance scene which is genuinely like a thrilling dance scene right that seems fun and it

[32:39] feels like steven spielberg was like oh i don't need to put any jokes in this scene this is great i feel

John Hodgman

[32:43] much more comfortable i'm gonna use this i'm gonna use this scene uh for the opening scene of uh indiana

Elliott Kalan

[32:47] jones and the temple of doom later yeah exactly there are a lot of pieces in this that would later appear

[32:52] better in other spielberg movies for sure like someone standing on a sub as it sinks i mean i'm

Stuart Wellington

[32:57] assuming that i think i read somewhere that that's the actual physical submarine they used for raiders

John Hodgman

[33:02] well the woman who was on top of the con tower in the beginning in the beginning is the woman from

Stuart Wellington

[33:09] the beginning of jaws it opens with a woman skinny dipping it's all this interconnected universe that

[33:13] i'm really into i keep talking to you guys about this marvel cinematic universe and how i like it

Elliott Kalan

[33:18] is this is this the spielberg cinematic universe where so the uh so that woman is the grandmother

[33:24] of the woman or mother of the woman in jaws right uh-huh and also that's the same sub that indy is on

[33:30] right uh what other i guess what other same well well you know barry from close encounters who gets uh

John Hodgman

[33:37] the the little kid who gets yeah yeah yeah so stranger things is just his dream what whoa

Stuart Wellington

[33:43] and the there are people out there laughing i just know that they are even though no one here is and

[33:51] the great great grandson of eddie deason's ventriloquist dummy is hailey joel osmond in ai

[33:58] can we talk about eddie deason for about five to six hours i would love to he's great i mean i feel

[34:07] like he and jim belushi jim oh man i got i got jim belushi on the brain it's huge but he and john belushi

[34:15] both play their perform they do their performance as big as possible why do i much prefer eddie deason's

Elliott Kalan

[34:22] performance there's a lot less of him in the movie yeah and he's playing off of the characters a lot of

[34:26] john belushi scenes he's just by himself sputtering and throwing things going

John Hodgman

[34:30] this movie scratching himself this movie was made when john belushi was at the absolute height of his fame

[34:38] and it was bull it was a matter of faith that john belushi could just sit in front of a camera

[34:44] and make a bunch of nonsense faces and that would be enough to sell him john belushi said that's literally

Dan McCoy

[34:51] what i want to do could i just sit in front of the camera could you put a camera in front of me right

[34:57] in a plane and i will just sit there and i will mug and that'll be great when he first appears his plane

Elliott Kalan

[35:04] crashes yeah yeah his plane like semi half crash lands and he gets out and the movie like pauses for the

[35:11] audience to lose its shit and applaud for 30 seconds right like these people are just so excited that

Stuart Wellington

[35:18] they yeah they expect you to jump onto the floor and run circles around whooping it up

Elliott Kalan

[35:23] that even though his names he's on the poster his name is in the credits you knew he i assume was the

[35:30] biggest selling point of the movie in the advertising that you were going to be like john belushi is in

[35:35] this i can't take the joy heart explodes you're dead now i assume that they also relied on john

Dan McCoy

[35:44] belushi's natural charisma to think that like the audience was not going to just be disgusted by this

[35:50] character because the character as presented is the most massive asshole in the movie like he gets

John Hodgman

[35:56] everything wrong i just shoots down an american plane he doesn't attack a woman in the movie that's true

[36:03] ever does he ever drag he's not treat william car while she screams for help treat williams comedy

Stuart Wellington

[36:09] movie later on he used all the goodwill that he built up uh to be on the on the show ever but treat

Dan McCoy

[36:14] williams was supposed to be a villain john belushi i think you're supposed to like a little bit

[36:18] and he was just like a madman who shot everything that he saw but he was also in in utterly unimportant

Stuart Wellington

[36:28] to the plot as it was told yeah the thing is there was a separate movie with john belushi he's basically

[36:33] the tasmanian devil dude and everybody loves taz that guy's a bunch he's awesome

[36:40] the uh i mean he he has basically the same amount of agent of lines it's true a lot of the movies

Elliott Kalan

[36:48] spinning around in circles smoking a cigar there's the funniest moment he has is when he's standing on

[36:55] the wing of a plane he falls off at once and it's not funny this movie is so many people fall down in

[37:00] it and i love movies where people fall down except the movie falling down which i don't like it never

[37:04] really falls down no he never really falls but the i love movies people don't but it's not funny in

[37:09] this at all but then he gets back on the wing of the plane and he slips and falls for real and you

[37:14] said he ended up in the hospital because yes and it's his genuinely most funny moment in the movie

John Hodgman

[37:19] for me yeah john belushi falls off the wing of his uh p-51 i think it is i don't know and uh they

[37:26] they were filming and he uh hurt himself very badly and went to the hospital for a week luckily he lived

Stuart Wellington

[37:32] let's use that because it's funny and it's the only legitimately funny part of the movie luckily he

[37:37] went on to live hundreds of years right um uh yeah he's a piece of pompier i do want like i do want

Dan McCoy

[37:43] to say like yeah treat williams is uh he's no treat in this he's disturbing this movie i turned to

[37:50] hodgman at one point and i was like there's a woman saying please please help in the middle of this

[37:57] movie she's being dragged off by treat williams and it's it's played off as like a humorous thing

Elliott Kalan

[38:02] you laughed at oliver going popeye help help me popeye and bluto's like never that's

Dan McCoy

[38:08] i haven't thought of the fact that bluto is a serial rapist i didn't think of that i was tempted

Elliott Kalan

[38:16] he's literally carrying women away against their will let's let's have to yes let's be fair to

John Hodgman

[38:21] alleged let's uh let's put it let's put a pin in the popeye comparison because i think there's

[38:27] something very interesting there okay but i just want to say that even as an eight-year-old watch

[38:33] well maybe even especially as an eight-year-old watching this movie the treat williams character

[38:37] dragging that woman under a car jesus christ was one of the most terrifying i mean like and you know

[38:45] that was the same year in which alien came out and yeah wait have you seen alien well i had not seen

[38:51] alien at that time because that was an r-rated movie but i had my dad my same dad i was like we

Elliott Kalan

[38:58] can take i only have one dad okay my dad who took me to see 1941 you had different dads for each movie

John Hodgman

[39:03] also in a very benign dumb dumb way had bought me the comic book adaptation of alien which was produced

[39:11] by heavy metal and heavy metal the adult comic book magazine at the time using adult sort of

Dan McCoy

[39:19] charitably i mean the adult in that it had boobs in it yeah it was a booby he doesn't mean adult as

Elliott Kalan

[39:24] if it as in it was like about people approaching middle age and wondering where their dreams were

John Hodgman

[39:29] i think that but if you're interested in that make sure to buy my book vacation land coming out this fall

[39:35] from viking i'm just saying it's just about it's just about adult it's your rabbit run it's basically

Dan McCoy

[39:41] heavy metal the appeal of heavy metal is to 13 year old boys let's not be uh and 37 year old stewart

Elliott Kalan

[39:50] which is essentially a 13 year old boy 45 year old nostalgia like myself there's part of me that

John Hodgman

[39:56] thanks stewart that like right before i met you you found a wizard machine that made you big

Stuart Wellington

[40:01] and your actual age is only about 14 yep and i've been trapped in this body the whole time trapped i

Elliott Kalan

[40:07] i mean so i should be so trapped yeah it was the most jewish thing i've ever said i should be so

[40:12] trapped i should be so trapped no so you're trapped uh here's the thing about treatment somewhere

John Hodgman

[40:19] there's a 13 year old in dudley moore's body who's you

Elliott Kalan

[40:22] in dudley moore's body rotting away

John Hodgman

[40:26] dead

[40:28] so i got that so i got the alien comic book for my dad sure and heavy metal had the the the concession the

[40:40] the the the to make adaptations of certain r-rated and certain more adult adult themed films including

[40:48] alien and including 1941 and i got both of them and the 1941 comic is insane

Stuart Wellington

[40:55] it's like all i would imagine it's like jack davis like mad magazine crew style artwork okay which is

John Hodgman

[41:01] what the movie is trying to be it's trying so hard to be a jack davis movie it's trying to be a mad

[41:06] magazine version of it's trying to be a mad magazine parody of itself yeah basically yeah

[41:12] like whatever the movie was this is the mad magazine version of it was it 1940 black

Elliott Kalan

[41:18] this movie would make much more sense if a big credit came up that said like co-directed by will

[41:25] elder you're like oh that's why there's all this shit in the background all the time because he's

Stuart Wellington

[41:29] putting all his chicken fat jokes so many extras in this movie my lord

Dan McCoy

[41:34] i like the idea that in like the the corners of the movie sergio aragoni's characters are doing crazy things

Stuart Wellington

[41:43] i mean there's shots where there's just like a women's women's legs with stockings and high heels just

[41:49] kicking sticking up off the ground basically yeah and there's santa claus is getting blown up in the corner of the

Elliott Kalan

[41:55] frame everywhere and things like that so here's how i would describe true williams for people who haven't

[41:59] seen don't 1941 and don't want to and shouldn't if you saw the master the paul thomas anderson movie

[42:05] you know the joaquin phoenix character in that who is this hugely traumatized if he was ever

[42:11] ever fully functional emotionally character who cannot communicate with others and he only kind of

[42:16] understands violence and lust at their most raw forms that's the treat williams character but played as a

[42:22] joke and also he hates eggs don't even get him started about eggs that's what serve them to him

John Hodgman

[42:28] that was the most offensive thing about this movie is that it sets up the fact that wally the bobby

[42:33] de ciccio character gets a little bit of egg yolk on his uniform he's like i hate eggs i can't ever

[42:40] have eggs near me and then when he goes to the uso dance he sees some deviled eggs he's like i hate eggs

[42:44] again i just send him off he's a great santini but then there's another big spielberg thing

Elliott Kalan

[42:50] the payoff is what he eventually falls into a big thing of eggs exactly like raiders and lost ark oh

[42:56] i must have he ate snakes and he falls into a bunch of snakes that's here he hates eggs he falls into a

Stuart Wellington

[43:01] bunch of eggs it's that's biff in the manure moment that's the script is he says okay this villain is

[43:06] going to fall in what a big pile of eggs okay let's work backwards from there let's plant that earlier

John Hodgman

[43:11] the japanese sub is lost so when 1941 was turned into this comic book uh the i don't remember the

[43:20] other artists in it but it was steve bessette who's a very talented oh shit creative yeah and it's in

[43:26] it truly is the mad magazine version of this movie which is the only way you could imagine this movie

[43:33] being you can't imagine this movie being a movie basically it's better as a comic book yeah steven spielberg

[43:39] wrote an introduction and and this came out the he wrote it the year before the movie came out and he

[43:45] said i can see 1941 more as a cleansing experience the one possible way i can make you forget all the

[43:54] good things i've done in motion pictures be merciful steven spielberg writing about his own movie

Elliott Kalan

[44:02] well everything i mean that makes me like him more that he was clear-eyed of course that he wasn't

[44:06] like get ready for the most gut busting knee slapping side splitting movement motion picture history

[44:12] he must have known aside marx's step aside avon costello you met frankenstein we'll get ready to

[44:18] meet what's the character what's john belushi's character's name wild bill kelso get ready to meet wild

Stuart Wellington

[44:23] bill kelso different name in the trailer right i think the trailer for this movie they introduced his

[44:28] character it was kyle bill welso he was wild bill kelso has steven spielberg made another comedy i would

Dan McCoy

[44:42] say that uh cash me if you can is kind of a light comedy yeah that's kind of comedy ish it's yeah but

Elliott Kalan

[44:47] it's not billed as a comedy no it's not a it's not a madcap comedy like this one is we made well i mean

[44:53] indiana jones the king of the crystal skull is is meant to be a parody of the indiana jones movies

[44:57] right we're like all the things you thought were cool now stupid and goofy come on right that's what

[45:01] that is hey um take that what was that that was just me right ending the bit

[45:11] diamonds on the nuked in the fridge but like spielberg is very it's not as though spielberg

John Hodgman

[45:25] doesn't have comedic moments no he's very good at doing small comedic moments and he's good at

Elliott Kalan

[45:30] dusting his movies with comedy i mean and i mean raiders like schindler's list even has a few jokes in

Dan McCoy

[45:36] it as you as you say like it all starts no but i'm saying no it does have like right it's like that is

Elliott Kalan

[45:42] as serious a movie as it gets from that man but even that has a few moments that are like tension

[45:47] lifters or like very brief moments of lightness among horror you know right it's like uh like

Stuart Wellington

[45:54] saving private ryan has some jokes like when you find out that only one brother survived

[46:00] i mean that's not really the joke oh i thought that was hilarious saving private ryan does have jokes

Elliott Kalan

[46:05] in it like they're they have that story but it's not to pee on all their jackets it's not like a big

Stuart Wellington

[46:09] uh it's not a big like huge ensemble you know comedy it's not like sob or something no

Dan McCoy

[46:18] that's true no raiders i think though like you gotta you gotta give it to raiders like raiders has the

[46:24] perfect marriage of the movie is an action movie and it's kidding an action movie at the same time

[46:31] yeah like i feel like that and for me that and north by northwest are sort of equal in that they work on

[46:38] two different levels simultaneously and neither the comedy nor the action thriller part of it like

John Hodgman

[46:44] takes over too much and harrison ford has some tremendous comic chops yeah just watch the frisco kid

Elliott Kalan

[46:54] there's beer in my nose no but he's like harrison ford is genuinely like very

Stuart Wellington

[46:59] like in the robertson meckis movie what lies beneath

[47:04] a movie i saw in germany when it was known as der schatten divide but seriously like in random hearts

Elliott Kalan

[47:12] regarding henry come on

John Hodgman

[47:14] how dare you i was just about to

[47:17] i'm gonna bring it back to series you know like in firewall when

[47:21] look what was that irish movie made with the devil's own

Elliott Kalan

[47:25] with brad pitt

[47:27] irish movie brad pitt plays an irish character

Stuart Wellington

[47:30] they keep saying in brad pitt's terrible irish accent like oh it's not an american story it's an

[47:38] irish one and i'm like get out of it get the fuck out of here dude i'm a teenager and i know this is

[47:43] bullshit

John Hodgman

[47:45] with two refreshing deodorants two deodorants

[47:49] she's kind of an irish vampire

[47:53] when when harrison ford says to carrie fisher rest in peace she says i love you and he says i know

[48:01] that's one of the funniest lines in cinema like yeah it's it you know that is a

Elliott Kalan

[48:07] a beautiful comedic improvisation which we know that it was and as we were talking about when we

[48:12] watched the movie the funniest scene in raiders when he just shoots that guy was harrison ford

[48:16] improvising on set yeah perfect like that's him saying here's a better way to do this scene that

[48:21] also means i don't have to go through all this choreography when i'm dealing with diarrhea yeah

Stuart Wellington

[48:25] i'm gonna have a like a an end of usual suspects moment when i realize every single good harrison

[48:30] ford joe gets involves him having to take a shit he had a long speech in empire strikes back and he's

Elliott Kalan

[48:36] like i'll just say i know and then i gotta run to the can and when can we shoot this after i use

[48:41] the toilet time is money harrison we're in golden time the sets harrison ford's bowels are the funniest

[48:47] people in hollywood yeah if people say it's uh oh it's instead of get bruised it's the thing is

Stuart Wellington

[48:53] the restaurant next to the set of regarding henry got shut down by the health department

Elliott Kalan

[49:00] after the movie was filmed they're like they're like we just can't come up with a line for this

[49:06] well here's the secret i'm gonna bring in harry ford we are just gonna stuff him full of prunes and

[49:11] coffee and then we're gonna lock him in this room and we're gonna see what comes out of him

John Hodgman

[49:16] whatever it's gonna be hilarious that's true harrison ford's shits are hilarious but you know and in

[49:24] raiders when he is in that that love scene uh with karen allen and gets hit on the chin with that

[49:31] oh yeah mirror yeah that's pure slapstick yeah like it's a it's a beautiful moment it's the one

[49:37] moment in raiders where someone goes ah whereas in 1941 everyone goes ah all the time every scene

Elliott Kalan

[49:44] they're like you know what would make this funnier if we had a long close-up of someone going

[49:51] just to remind people that it's it's supposed to be common you kind of imagine steven spiel

[49:56] over coming picture in picture during scenes gonna be like these are the jokes folks and then appear

[50:00] and then like and joke

[50:04] what this movie needed was the applause sign they have at snl where there's no joke to end a sketch

[50:10] it just kind of stops and then you there's a moment and then you hear applause and that moment is the

[50:15] light from the applause meter hitting the eyes of the audience and going into their brains so decoding it

[50:21] so they know to applaud yeah that's what's movie needed also uh to be better this is also a movie

Stuart Wellington

[50:26] where there's a scene where a tank drives into a crowd and then frank mccray climbs out of the tank

John Hodgman

[50:31] and puts on a catcher's uniform why does he have a catcher's uniform that was a pure mad magazine

[50:38] moment yeah but what was it lampooning like the military it's just fun it's just like the fact that

[50:46] slim pickens was in the movie at all was clear like we're trying to draw a line between this and

[50:51] dr strange glove and the great i mean it's there's a scene they were trying to draw a line between

[50:54] this and one-eyed jacks

Stuart Wellington

[50:56] wait the the gambling strip club and twin peaks

John Hodgman

[51:01] no yes that no the marlon brando western hey i'm john hodgman have you uh are you a

[51:06] subscriber to showtime because twin peaks is coming back

Dan McCoy

[51:09] david lynch you're obligated to send john hodgman a check now and yet all the letters i send him to

Elliott Kalan

[51:16] bring on the air back have failed to get a reply i gotta watch those episodes on the air that i bought

Dan McCoy

[51:22] from a japanese bootleg dvd that's the only way to get them they were only ever released in japan

Elliott Kalan

[51:26] if you i assume you have a dub of what i had which was a vhs copy of the laser disc from japan of on

[51:33] of the on the air episodes yeah where you have there are certain parts of the show that have captions

John Hodgman

[51:38] on them hi i'm john hodgman we're gonna take a little break now to talk about the max fun drive

[51:44] i can't hear this anymore we're just talking about a no thank you replacement sitcom that

[51:48] no no times and never again john may the guest on this show is i'm going to go get another drink and

Dan McCoy

[51:53] dan's going to talk about the max fun drive john makes a good point which is that we should go to

[51:57] the final judgments of this uh show we've barely scratched the surface of 1941 but we should yeah

John Hodgman

[52:03] uh so much more to say i'll be back in a moment yeah we'll uh we'll let hodgman get a drink

Dan McCoy

[52:10] so the question is is this a good bad movie no a bad bad movie yes or a movie you kind of liked

[52:16] no uh stewart what do you have to say about it oh man so i remember watching this movie as a kid

Stuart Wellington

[52:22] and i i remember being like excited because i knew a number of these performers from other things like

[52:29] ghostbusters and i guess animal house i don't know what the fuck i was thinking but i i remember

[52:35] watching this movie and being disappointed and looking back you know what younger me was right

[52:42] he had a lot of reason to be disappointed uh because it's not a very good movie now i want to

[52:46] share an anecdote one of my uh one of my uh one of my regulars at the bar let's call him

[52:52] robert manhattan okay he works in film and he was working on it i feel like you said it in a way

[52:59] that like we're supposed to puzzle out and code for that no you guys are seeing me wink right

[53:05] yeah a lot of winking going on so he was still don't know what that means he was working on a film

[53:09] project uh i don't think it was recently but with a guy who had been on he had he was working on a

[53:16] guy who had is that his real name uh close dan but i don't reveal my sources rob bronx so uh he was

[53:26] working on a on a film or a tv show with a guy who had worked on 1941 and that guy had shared a number of

[53:33] different anecdotes about uh like listening to steven spielberg argue with people over the phone

[53:39] and one of the times uh he he clearly remembered steven spielberg arguing about a scene there was a

[53:46] apparently there was a continuity error at one point because he's like because there's a scene where the

[53:50] tank drives through a a paint factory and gets paint all over it and he remembered hearing steven

[53:57] spielberg on the phone say oh okay it's covered in paint so i guess next they'll just drive through a

[54:01] turpentine factory solved and in fact that's what happens in the movie and even that is is done in

Elliott Kalan

[54:08] such a way that when it's over you're like wait let me piece together the joke that i just saw hold

Dan McCoy

[54:13] on a second yeah ellie and i both agreed that that has the potential of being a good joke but it is

Stuart Wellington

[54:18] filmed so clearly but clearly that shows that like that was a thing that they didn't really think about

[54:23] and then afterwards they're like fuck we just got to get this done let's just do a quick thing of

[54:28] them busting out of a turpentine factory as opposed to setting up that joke which worked i mean but

Elliott Kalan

[54:32] that's exactly the kind of thinking that worked for him on raiders like we were talking about where

John Hodgman

[54:36] it's like well we can't do that let's just do this yeah but why was his timing so great in raiders and

Elliott Kalan

[54:42] so terrible on this movie i think he doesn't really get comedy timing but he gets thrill timing

[54:48] so like if a con if a joke is set among thrills by the way i'm back it's john hodgman the host of the

[54:54] show that wasn't dan yeah who suddenly the head just was switching his voice the like he gets like

[55:02] like he gets thrill timing like he's steven spielberg's one of these filmmakers where when i was a kid i

[55:05] loved him and then i became a cynical guy in his 20s and was like he's too mainstream and now i love

[55:10] him again like for all his short movies like he's a master but he like he's a master of certain things

John Hodgman

[55:16] they don't always translate i by the way stew and dan have left now we drove away just you and me i'm

Elliott Kalan

[55:21] gonna give my the dance sequence in this film is really good spectacular yeah and you understand like

John Hodgman

[55:28] it's the one moment in the movie where you understand who everyone is what they want

[55:33] where they are in the in the world of the film and what their conflict and it's not trying to be

[55:38] funny it's just like i'm gonna entertain you with some dancing it's like everything else in this movie

[55:42] is trying so hard to be funny that it distorts itself because there's like the only way that he

Elliott Kalan

[55:48] understands that people can be funny is eddie deeson going i mean let's be fair to eddie deeson he's

[55:54] one of the funnier things in the movie yeah eddie deeson i apologize that's right the the unfair

John Hodgman

[56:00] thing was asking the mayor from amity jaws to be funny share the screen with eddie deeson is

Dan McCoy

[56:07] just gonna blow him away right i'm gonna say that uh i give this a marginal good bad but not in the way

[56:13] that like it's so bad it's funny but it's bad in a unique way that's interesting to watch yes

John Hodgman

[56:21] i would say if i if i may support you it's it's not good bad but it is essential bad

[56:31] like anyone who who wants to understand comedy and also wants to understand good filmmaking should

[56:37] see this movie to understand how a good filmmaker can make a terrible comedy and you and you often can

Elliott Kalan

[56:43] learn a lot more about how things work by seeing them completely not work i mean there's watching this

[56:48] like i feel like even someone who doesn't know movies can be like i see why that doesn't yeah

John Hodgman

[56:52] steven spielberg did not want to make a comedy he had been in in the same way and i don't want to

[56:56] bring this down to politics but in the same in the same way the republican party has been captured by this

[57:02] by the former soviet union

[57:07] uh steven spielberg in this in this case was a client state

[57:12] to the legacy of animal house like everyone threw money at steven spielberg to make another animal

[57:19] house and they gave every every actor who had been in animal house plus everyone everyone else in

[57:26] comedy and said go and do a thing and he even had john landis in the like the fact that john landis in the

[57:32] the movie as a disgraced like dusty uh motorcycle sergeant or whatever was insane it was it was as if to

[57:43] suggest that like yeah i can really i can do this the right way john landis i'm gonna show you how to

[57:49] make a movie yeah but john john landis the the this dumb character actor in this movie

[57:55] understood his uh cultural moment in a way that steven spielberg absolutely did not in this movie

Stuart Wellington

[58:02] there's there's a scene in this movie with slim pickens christopher lee and toshiro mafucking

Elliott Kalan

[58:08] fune in it dude like it's so such a wasted potential that these three actors are in the same scene

Stuart Wellington

[58:14] yeah and like i would just rather watch the them hanging out you know like a like a like cut stuff

[58:20] from the cutting room floor you know well also like just like goofing the movie held

Elliott Kalan

[58:25] zagging on each other shows you that like you can do a movie with two great actors to shirma fune and

[58:30] lee marvin who are not even speaking the same language the entire movie and it can be really tense and

[58:36] entertaining these guys like it would have been like you have christopher lee speaking german to

[58:42] shirma fune speaking japanese and slim pickens of course speaking american because you know what else

[58:46] right but like an american but uh like can't speak plain american and like they're just that they have to

[58:53] that the scene of the scene in cinema history when these three amazing actors are together iconic

[58:59] actors for different reasons is about a guy who swallowed a compass and has to poop it out so

[59:04] they can find their way to hollywood like some kind of twisted scatological muppet movie that's right

[59:09] it's like it's so disappointing here's the thing i want to say about 1941 i agree with everything you

[59:14] guys said i feel like this is one of those movies like ishtar where every few years there's a little bit of a

[59:18] a mini wave of like you know what it's called a huge it's remembered as a huge bomb but it's

[59:24] actually a pretty funny movie and i want to tell you don't listen to anyone who ever says that they

[59:29] are just trolling you and they are doing it just to seem like they know something you don't know and

[59:35] you're going to go back and watch this movie and you're going to be like wait a minute that wasn't

John Hodgman

[59:38] very funny no this movie is not funny it is horribly flawed deeply disturbing

Elliott Kalan

[59:46] racist misogynist

[59:51] but it is so much money went into making it yeah like it's offensively rich looking you know right

Stuart Wellington

[59:56] there's something about the the use of slang toward japanese people where on one hand you could be like

[1:00:02] well you know it's set in the 40s and of course this right after pearl harbor but it's set in a way

[1:00:08] where it's like the movie makers seem to be okay with it oh yeah everyone in the movie was like it

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:15] wanted to live out their world war ii fantasy in different ways and i guess that was part of it

[1:00:22] i don't know but it's yeah it's real gross and skeevy i mean to shiru mifuni to be fair maintains

[1:00:28] is he's the only character who maintains his dignity throughout the entire movie i think he

[1:00:32] even says that at the end he said at one point he says this is not honorable and you're like yes

[1:00:37] you're right this this whole film is not as opposed to the japanese sailor who just keeps yelling

[1:00:42] hollywood which is not honorable at all like yeah the moment the moment in the opening scene when he

John Hodgman

[1:00:48] sees a naked woman's butt he goes hollywood it's a that's what i yell whenever i see a naked woman's

[1:00:54] but it's a it's a monstrous disaster that's why you can't go to strip clubs anymore

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:59] but you should yeah they got a picture of him on the wall everyone should be like you're not

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:03] allowed to masturbate to this picture of dan mccoy do not show butts to this man

Dan McCoy

[1:01:09] dan what's happening uh what's happening is it's the max fun drive 2017 the pledge drive great oh so

John Hodgman

[1:01:15] my producer dan reminds me the host of the show oh you get a producer credit drive yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:23] i belong to the producers guild oh wow 2017 so let's talk about some of the benefits of donating to

[1:01:30] support these shows aside from the immediate benefit which is that you keep these shows alive by

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:34] don't and that you're giving money to something that you like like as as an adult being able to i'm in

[1:01:41] a position where i can give money to things that i like and it feels really awesome i don't know

[1:01:47] that's fair being able to support the things i like is cool i don't know why you're laughing at that

Dan McCoy

[1:01:51] uh elliot that seems like a very reasonable i thought it was very sweet all right you're

[1:01:56] uncomfortable with emotion is what i'm hearing

[1:02:01] you got me oh uh no i i agree with steward it's great to support the things that you like listen

[1:02:08] sorry listen i uh i listen to podcasts all the time at this point podcasts are one of my primary

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:15] sources of entertainment they podcast pornography crying into a mirror yes yes and yes

[1:02:21] why won't candy man show up i've said it five times candy man is like this is not something i want to

[1:02:30] get involved with i don't know what your deal is man but stop stop crying dude look look candy man

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:36] checks his cell phone let's ignore it goes back to what he's doing candy man is like

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:42] this is a little bit more than i want to get into no strings attached scares that's kind of me you know

Dan McCoy

[1:02:50] no but uh podcasts are my constant companion honestly like i listen to them when i walk around the city

[1:02:57] i listen to them when i'm doing uh chores around the house there's things that i pay money for that i

[1:03:03] don't use whoa like hulu i'm paying fucking eight dollars a month for hulu that's 76 a year i don't

[1:03:10] use that no more than that sorry that's 96 a year i'm not watching it why do i pay for it all right

John Hodgman

[1:03:15] i'll pay for it for you thank you successful oh man

Dan McCoy

[1:03:19] max fun podcast i listen to all the time yeah and uh and you're a donor i'm a donor i'm a donor

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:26] i'm a donor i'm assuming john's a donor i'm a donor a total donor and so okay so let's set that

[1:03:33] aside so you don't you already get the thrill of keeping alive something you love showing your support

[1:03:38] of it and saying hey you know what i believe in a world where creative creators are compensated for

[1:03:45] their work and not in this steal them up nabster world that we've become so accustomed to you're

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:50] talking about concrete benefits at this point now right yeah yeah i'm saying what's in it for the

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:54] listeners beyond some sweet ear candy well literally sweet ear candy because we're talking at the five

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:59] dollar a month level what do you get elliot well at the five dollar a month level you get dan

Dan McCoy

[1:04:05] you get bonus content uh at this point there's hundreds of hours of bonus content from all the

[1:04:10] max fun shows we've got like six or seven hours at least in there already of just the flop house

[1:04:16] we're talking about stuff like we uh watched small wonder and we talked about it we watched

[1:04:23] studio 60 on the sunset strip what'd you do did you talk about it we talked about it

[1:04:27] and for this one what's the this one what's our premiere for this one for 2017 we watched uh the

[1:04:33] christmas episode of the 1980s cartoon series rubik the amazing cube and we discussed it if that

[1:04:41] sounds like something you're interested in you want to donate at the five dollar a month level john

John Hodgman

[1:04:45] what did you do for your bonus episode this year oh uh we had um an earlier episode where there were

[1:04:53] two uh uh twins uh you mean two twins twins two uh two dudes who are twins you mean twins

[1:05:05] that's enough ellie and they uh they had a fight over whether or not um they were fraternal

[1:05:12] twins or identical twins were their names tomacs and zamoc one of them wanted to take a test to find out

[1:05:21] whether they're fraternal or identical and the other one said let's leave it alone uh we forced them to

[1:05:27] take a test and our bonus episode punching them to see if the other one felt it it's not really

[1:05:33] how twins were no it's a blood test okay and we forced them to take a blood test and uh our bonus

[1:05:39] episode is we reveal the results of whether or not they are fraternal or identical uh does bailiff jesse

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:46] jesse thorne like hoot and holler and run around the stage like he's on a maury povich episode

[1:05:53] he's shutting pie holes all over the place for sure so that's at the five dollar level bonus

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:58] episodes from all the max fund shows yeah there's so many episodes what's different things what's the

Dan McCoy

[1:06:03] special ten dollar level at the ten dollar level john ten dollar month level

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:08] this is not one time ten dollars no don't pull that shit on us you can give a one-time donation if you

[1:06:14] want i guess that's right but this is monthly stuff subscription you get a exclusive enamel pin

Dan McCoy

[1:06:20] designed by megan lynn cot there's a design for every maximum fun show and you get to pick

[1:06:25] your favorite and uh not only do you get to pick your favorite but if we reach our 10 000 uh member a

[1:06:32] new and upgrading member uh uh because even if you're a donor you can upgrade your membership to a higher

[1:06:38] level if you if we hit that 10 000 member goal people who have donated at the ten dollar a month

[1:06:45] level either now or in the past have the option of buying more of these enamel pins because these

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:51] are pretty sweet enamel pin designs so if we reach that goal you don't have to choose just one you can

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:55] buy other ones it's funny that you said but because the flop house pin kind of looks like a but

[1:07:00] it's great it's a peach it's an original it's great and there's a ton of great uh there's a ton of

[1:07:06] great ones on there if you don't get the flop house one uh while i will be disappointed uh i don't i

Dan McCoy

[1:07:11] understand yeah a lot of great them a bim bam zag on them is pretty sweet i gotta say

[1:07:17] uh sound like a traitor to me

[1:07:21] uh at the 20 per month level you get the keep in touch kit which has nine custom note cards plus

[1:07:28] envelopes with three encouraging designs designed by brian sunny d fernandez a four color rocket

[1:07:35] purple stuff for hernandez no a four color less popular that's a that's a deep cut joke of a

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:43] commercial really not that deep a cut i mean it's a deep cut for anyone who wasn't born exactly when we

Dan McCoy

[1:07:49] were born i guess yeah that's what i'm talking about yeah you get a four color rocket pen getting

[1:07:53] their rocket stamp and a rocket shaped candle which smells according to this ad copy like a freshly

[1:07:59] sharpened pencil friendship and a little bit of wax because it's a candle

[1:08:05] uh so that's the keep in touch kit that you get at the 20 that's pretty great now the 35 or what is

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:10] it 30 dollars a month 35 a month this is where shit gets hot because in addition to all the stuff from

[1:08:17] the other levels you also get a pair of fucking awesome beer steins with the max fun logo on them

[1:08:23] double steins double steins um and as the owner and proprietor of a business that sells beer

[1:08:31] i have an appreciation for good glassware and let me tell you

[1:08:34] who doggies these are cool

Dan McCoy

[1:08:38] you can put you can quote that who doggies says stuart wellington of the flop house now stuart

[1:08:43] briefly said something very important what's that which is and then never again sounds like me

[1:08:50] is that all of these gifts stack if you donate at a higher level you get all of the gifts from the

[1:08:55] lower levels plus the gift for your level like star 1941 robert stack he also stacks if you can find

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:01] more than one of them

[1:09:07] he's he's so rare

[1:09:11] i've been hanging out on fucking toys r us for years

[1:09:15] short pack those

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:16] oh shit

[1:09:18] he's perfectly rectangular too so he stacks the collector from the marvel universe is like ah

[1:09:23] the rarest keepsake robert stack only one was ever produced

Dan McCoy

[1:09:28] now if you're an eccentric millionaire you can donate at the 100 level where you get membership

[1:09:34] of the inner circle where monthly you get it's a monthly culture club where you get a item selected

[1:09:40] by one of our max fun hosts uh every month and the two hundred dollars each month right different

[1:09:46] hosts each month right and at the two hundred dollar a month level you get free uh registration

[1:09:53] for max fun con so that's a pretty good deal because max fun con is a ton of fun and it's a ton of fun

[1:10:01] but uh that's what you get for the donor there's some great rewards those are some great donors and so

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:07] we are asking you listeners here to help us either wake up after that boring thing yeah

[1:10:15] either to become a first-time pledge donor or if you are already a donor upgrade your donation stuff

[1:10:21] because without you guys hey look none of this would be possible if we if we didn't have our listeners

[1:10:26] we'd just be shouting into the dark void nothing but horribly cyclopean monstrosities impossible to

[1:10:34] describe and terrifying to behold and look our only listeners instead we've got good people like you and

[1:10:39] maybe a few indescribable monstrosities you make us human i'm gonna say something honest it's sometimes

Dan McCoy

[1:10:47] unlike usual sometimes sometimes it's hard to do this show and i think it gets harder

[1:10:52] year by year as uh we all all of our lives get fuller with uh different things our lives and our houses

[1:10:58] get just traveling a lot thinking about moving to different parts of the country yeah these things happen

[1:11:04] and uh it really helps to have money coming in from the podcast to convince us to keep doing the thing

[1:11:13] now that sounds like a threat it doesn't mean to be i'm just uh it's just why are you holding a gun

[1:11:18] to my head dan it's just is that dan will shoot stew it is if you don't donate money i will blow

[1:11:26] i will paint this the walls with stew's brains i guess i've lived a good life let me say goodbye to my

John Hodgman

[1:11:32] collection of vintage pornography you'll run stew's tank through the paint shop a common death expression

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:40] i'm gonna say one last thing about uh uh the max fund drive is that early on i had said that the

[1:11:47] maximum fund had set a goal of 10 000 new and upgrading donors yeah and i was like you know what i'm

[1:11:55] gonna use i'm gonna use this excuse to finally uh set the goal if we hit that number i'm gonna finally get

[1:12:02] that uh flop house house cat tattoo that i wanted to get for a long time to commemorate the 10 years

[1:12:07] i've been doing this stupid thing with you guys um not with you john and uh uh so i i'm glad you're part of the new

[1:12:16] but that's the thing like as of today it's already we're already past we've already rounded the 9 000 listeners

[1:12:23] so i've already set up an appointment to get my tattoo just assuming uh but by the time this drops

[1:12:29] which is in a couple of days i'm i can only hope which i'm already fucking blown away that's crazy

John Hodgman

[1:12:34] that'll be double what we did last year yeah which is ironically i look forward to giving you that tattoo

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:42] i mean there doesn't have to be any irony at all you can stare me dead in the eyes the whole time you're

John Hodgman

[1:12:47] doing it i've got an electric sharpie and i'm going to make sure that your body is never the same

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:53] i'll be holding your hand with my free hand and your non-tattooing hand and biting down on a

[1:12:57] leather strap that dan gives me from his weird collection of leather straps i will say that uh

Dan McCoy

[1:13:03] straps strappy dan they call them because we are probably going to hit that 10 000 i imagine there's

[1:13:10] going to be some stretch goals if those stretch goals uh are released um you say dan's getting a

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:17] tattoo come on dan well uh i'd love to say that i would reach that same goal but i would like to be

[1:13:23] buried in sacred ground at some point and synagogues are not really okay i'll just carve that part off

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:28] of your body before the cops get to you oh perfect great all right there's some what we have some audio

Dan McCoy

[1:13:33] from uh doing the superman 4 show in uh chicago that very very fun day probably semi-illegal to

[1:13:44] release it because you can hear the audio of superman 4 in the background i don't care killing

John Hodgman

[1:13:49] the president will probably and also the producers of superman 4 have prevented you from ever releasing

[1:13:56] that ever but uh yeah we don't want to get haunted by the ghosts of golen and globus i think if we hit

Dan McCoy

[1:14:02] those stretch goals we'll probably just release that audio out into the world so you can watch

[1:14:07] superman 4 and have our commentary that's what i'm saying right now so that's a promise

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:12] what a promise wait if we hit which stretch which goal i don't know it's an imaginary stretch goal

[1:14:17] right now but okay lives in the hearts and minds of children yeah so uh let's move on we'll probably

[1:14:23] mention this again again uh wait one last thing we'll donate donate now donate now don't forget

Dan McCoy

[1:14:28] about it because you're gonna forget you're gonna forget go to maximum fun dot org forward slash donate

[1:14:33] that's how you do it maximum fun dot org forward slash donate build it beautiful

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:39] exactly

[1:14:39] uh so now we move on to our are we gonna pause it hold on steward wants to pause so he can go to the

Dan McCoy

[1:14:48] restroom i think so we're gonna pause the recording for a second but for you it's just gonna seem like

[1:14:52] a seamless uh join totally seamless oh that was seamless you didn't even know that anything

[1:15:00] happened there were we ordering food from a restaurant because that was seamless um but

[1:15:05] now it's time to move on to the next uh segment in this podcast which is letters from listeners

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:12] listeners like you so uh the first letter it's a special time for letters it's a max fun pledge drive time

[1:15:22] for letters special letters that earn us money special letters that taste of honey that special taste

[1:15:30] that only comes during the pledge drive

John Hodgman

[1:15:38] thanks guys

Dan McCoy

[1:15:43] uh this first letter is from andrew last name withheld who writes it is my contention that horror

[1:15:50] films have the best soundtracks and or scores of any genre from the greasy from the greasy

[1:15:57] this just in from the greasy punk rock of return of the living dead to goblins prog rock

[1:16:05] freak outs to carpenter's brilliant sense there's a long and noble tradition of totally rad music

[1:16:11] associated with horror on screen let's not forget bernard herman's score for psycho dude yeah so

[1:16:16] floppers what are your favorite horror film scores or soundtracks hey let's not forget bernard

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:20] herman's score for psycho dude psycho dude is my favorite movie keep on flopping the free world

[1:16:26] andrew last name withheld andrew lesney the composer of the lord of the rings trilogy

[1:16:32] uh that's howard shore andrew lesney i think was the dp oh okay so the letter the diaper pail

Dan McCoy

[1:16:39] the letter already mentioned a couple of things that i would have mentioned myself the return of the

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:44] living dead punk rock you could have very easily exercised those from the uh from the letter and john

[1:16:50] carpenter excised or exercise like he had a really cool priest come in and cut him out

[1:16:56] i was like possessed by some things i would like to say i would like a john constantine show up and

Dan McCoy

[1:17:01] blow him away with a cross gun uh i like very much the scores for both poltergeist and gremlins both

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:09] of which are jerry goldsmith scores jerry goldsmith who also did the score for planet of the apes right

[1:17:15] which is not a horror movie but it's a great score yeah it's pretty horrifying i mean the concept is

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:19] is pretty scary i mean he tongue kisses an ape at the end not in my america no it is in your america

[1:17:26] did you not see the end of the movie

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:30] statue of liberty

John Hodgman

[1:17:32] uh but like the the terrible thing about the apes is they moved the statue of liberty to another planet

[1:17:37] right

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:45] the statue of liberty

[1:17:46] is like they stole the statue of liberty and brought it to their ape planet

[1:17:48] why did they set it up

[1:17:49] and put it near a beach

[1:17:51] the sequel better be about when he goes back to earth and gets everyone to get that statue back

[1:17:57] they call it it should have been

[1:17:58] return to the planet of the apes

[1:18:01] some moron who just doesn't get it

[1:18:03] he's like wait hold on a second hold a second if it wasn't enough that there's people and apes and

[1:18:07] the apes speak english they've got a statue of liberty too this is such this kind of coincidence

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:13] cannot be what a choice does france dare to give them a statue of liberty too

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:19] double dealing france they're not even taking care of it look it looks all bombed up

John Hodgman

[1:18:24] we have to give one to the americans and we also have to give one to the planet of the apes

[1:18:31] we make two but we never tell them it is a symbol of our friendship with america and our secret

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:36] friendship with the apes

[1:18:39] but we only send the apes half

[1:18:43] they don't know they don't know it happens i think it's a whole statue

John Hodgman

[1:18:46] it's the top half

[1:18:49] we landed on a beach there

[1:18:50] it's fine

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:51] if the fucking feet were sticking up on the camera

[1:18:54] it's like i guess don't tell mom the babysitter's dead

[1:18:59] i think we can keep these two friendships going without them knowing as long as we do not make a

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:03] date on the same night with both planets there will be much slamming of doors

[1:19:11] uh but also dawn of the dead has a really good sound fact too

[1:19:14] the original

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:15] uh yeah so i really like uh

[1:19:20] what uh who's that dude who does uh paul paul anderson scores for john bryan

[1:19:25] no the one who does johnny greenwood johnny greenwood score for there will be blood that's

[1:19:30] a great horror movie score you think that's a horror movie uh

[1:19:33] uh nadoy

[1:19:35] that's like saying synecdoche new york is a horror movie of course it is

[1:19:38] new york is a terrifying um and i would say my favorite hands down is still

[1:19:44] the movie black roses with its hilarious hair metal soundtrack

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:48] check it out go look up black roses on youtube it's awesome it's not a horror movie per se it is

[1:19:54] a suspense movie but vertigo has i think maybe the most beautiful score in film and i guess it

[1:20:01] shows you there's something about having to create suspense maybe that brings out something special in

[1:20:07] in film scores is vertigo the one that goes

John Hodgman

[1:20:13] no that's the godfather

[1:20:15] i think it's

[1:20:16] is it like this no that's the night court thing yeah yeah the vertigo court

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:25] welcome to judge harry's courtroom that's that's me judge harry the magician judge

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:32] hi i'm bill i'm an alien or maybe i'm bill who cares this joke's getting old

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:38] i'm judge harry but you can all call me scotty if you're my friends

Dan McCoy

[1:20:48] is that how you did it madeline judge harry is dressing someone up to look like mel torme

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:53] i don't want to look like mel torme harry doesn't matter what you want it can't matter to you just

[1:20:58] do this for me madeline young people go on netflix and check out night court i guess it's he would

[1:21:04] say it's because he's with he's with judy at that madeline's the one who died okay man judy

[1:21:11] barton salina kansas just like it says right there and your podcast is more popular how did i ruin it

[1:21:17] i don't think that's true look just because they're huge swaths of vertigo that i like to

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:21] think and to be honest john aren't we all your podcasts at this point now yeah

John Hodgman

[1:21:26] we're all macro world podcasts john i'm gonna give you one more chance to guess the score to vertigo

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:33] and i think you're gonna be able to get it uh

[1:21:36] yep you got it there it is

[1:21:42] the famous vertigo song

[1:21:47] just like the theme to godfather which goes

[1:21:54] the haunting godfather theme hey hey

[1:21:57] that was on that pure mood scene yeah that's right

[1:22:01] no i didn't think it's called return my way

Dan McCoy

[1:22:05] send me on my way send me on my way

[1:22:07] and the in the dj dino remix of the x-files theme send me on my way

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:12] but rusted root why is that a thing that i know because you went to our own college oh my god

John Hodgman

[1:22:19] i will say why do i know that the most horrific movie that i've seen recently and in my life is 1941

[1:22:29] the the rape and kidnap movie uh yeah with the score by john williams which is amazing that score is

[1:22:37] amazing it's a good score it's a great score

[1:22:39] uh that that movie is

[1:22:51] if you have not heard what i had to say about it before let me hear let me say now that is a terrifying

[1:22:57] movie and the score is great so there the next question or letter is or letter whatever you want

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:06] to call it hey man i mean it starts words it starts off with my question is but uh this is from kyle

Dan McCoy

[1:23:11] last name withheld who writes kyle katarn star of the dark force series

John Hodgman

[1:23:22] the last

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:27] i think that's like

[1:23:28] that's the the ultimate star wars character name no one's gonna say anymore penultimate being of

John Hodgman

[1:23:34] course dash rendar shadows the empire the final star wars name is seb gorka

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:41] advisor to the president yeah yeah he's the one who's always bothering trump about how many

[1:23:46] portions he gets

John Hodgman

[1:23:49] i imagine three quarter portions

[1:23:54] now i'm just sorry i'm sorry simon peg my friend i'm imagining i'm imagining trump with salacious

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:00] crumb sitting on his desk and trump's just like it's gonna be huge sad forget about it and slacious

[1:24:05] crumb is like just pecking robots eyes out every now and then

Dan McCoy

[1:24:11] so kyle says my question is have you ever resented someone for a movie they made you watch

[1:24:16] i love my mom but i don't know whether i'll ever forgive her for plopping me in front of the

[1:24:20] 1967 disney horror show that is the gnome mobile as a child not familiar or for singing the song so

[1:24:28] joyfully whenever i complain about it kyle last name withheld i feel like i've been on the opposite

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:33] end of that one i'm the guy who shows people movies and they're like what the hell why did we just

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:37] watch that uh let me see do i know anybody in recent memory that made me watch a really shitty movie

[1:24:43] i think his name's john hodgeman

[1:24:47] what how is that on me what movie did i make you watch 1941

[1:24:53] this is your podcast oh yeah that's true uh then dan for making me do this podcast in the first place

[1:25:01] maybe my parents for creating me maybe their parents for creating them yeah i want to see where this is

[1:25:08] going me i can't do that much math right now so times when you've been mad at somebody for making you

John Hodgman

[1:25:15] watch a movie yeah yeah i don't know i've never been mad for watching i feel like there's no movie

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:21] even if i'm mad at a movie i'm i don't know that i've ever been mad about having to maybe like

[1:25:27] national lampoon's christmas vacation when i was a kid which as i've talked about before the podcast

[1:25:31] was the first time i saw a movie in the theaters and was like i don't like this this is bad to me

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:36] like is it possible to not like a movie yeah i guess so you went to the bathroom of the movie

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:41] theater and tried to wash yourself i was like the stink of it off the scenery is trapped in the attic

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:47] looking at the old home movies it won't come off i'm definitely i've definitely want i've definitely

[1:25:52] read a book on somebody's recommendation and been like about a couple of pages and been like

[1:25:57] fuck this but i feel like i have to finish it so i can so i can tell somebody i read it and if they

John Hodgman

[1:26:03] quiz me i'll know what to say i've never had that experience i'm a man of my own taste i don't take

[1:26:10] anyone's recommendation wow all right wow let's watch 1941 again so now i think john's just mad at me

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:18] for calling him out for making us watch 1941 that's a terrible movie but i i think everyone

John Hodgman

[1:26:23] should see it i mean twice i mean i blame dan most of the time for picking the movies we watch based

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:28] on run time so at one and a half time i get more resentful when dan when we're like oh this one

[1:26:33] sounds crazy i want to watch that and dan's like oh i watched it already i thought i might like it

[1:26:37] it wasn't that good and it's like okay well i guess i'm never gonna see that movie again you know

Dan McCoy

[1:26:43] i'm supposed to just sit at home alone watching nothing because of you guys here's what you should

[1:26:49] do watch good movies i don't want to do that by the way you said you have hulu don't they have

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:54] the whole fucking criterion collection not anymore it's on filmstruck now yeah you'll have to go buy

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:59] the criterion movies all right i don't know why i have so angry at me all of a sudden dan buy the

[1:27:05] criterion movies the rock and armageddon parts of the criterion collection by the way my friends i

John Hodgman

[1:27:12] have seen two movies with you and i wish to see many more but they both have starred dan

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:18] akaroy i know starring in it is a very charitable term at least in 1940 i mean i guess they say

[1:27:25] starring but he doesn't he's not the lead in this movie he's got a pretty he's got a relatively

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:29] unimportant part as opposed to nothing but trouble in which case he is the alpha and omega of that film

[1:27:35] like it all springs from his diseased brain that's a whole separate podcast i'm sorry that i brought

[1:27:39] that up but what happened it's okay i feel like we need to do like a uh a a podcast about dan

[1:27:46] akroyd that's kind of like that privacy invasion podcast about richard simmons yeah it's just like

[1:27:51] dan akroyd what happened to him what happened what happened dan akroyd when did you go over to fully

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:56] endorsing skull shaped vodka yeah we'll be in uh interviewing crystal head vodka sales reps

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:04] no when did he turn from being like the bad boy artist of comedy to being like whatever he is now

[1:28:10] like whatever he does well every now and then he does like a good acting role in something you know

Dan McCoy

[1:28:14] yeah all right next question oh okay sorry elliot this is from tim this is from tim last name withheld

[1:28:22] who writes i hold to this tim matheson oh star of 1941 that's right i'm with this woman and she only

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:27] gets aroused when she's in a plane should i just ignore it and find a woman that i'm better suited to

[1:28:33] being with or should i risk both our lives by flying us into the air possibly our lives but also the

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:38] security of the united states and or possibly risk getting kicked off jet blue airlines for life

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:46] it's true the thrill must have gone when just regular mainstream commercial aviation came in

Dan McCoy

[1:28:50] mm-hmm uh tim writes i hold to this day that night that 2000 sorry i hold to this day that 2013's

[1:28:58] the wolverine is the single worst superhero movie ever worse than x-men origins wolverine uh

[1:29:04] well hold on that might be it every time a movie is called the worst superhero movie i can think of

[1:29:09] at least one thing it did that was interesting or original or fun green lantern catwoman the spirit bvs

[1:29:15] you name it even spawn what but the wolverine's only redeeming quality that anyone ever talks about

[1:29:21] is quote it's better than x-men origins wolverine and that gives it a pass to 69 of the rotten

[1:29:28] tomatoes critics what are some movies that you think 69 in there just to give me a laugh

[1:29:33] what are some movies that you think critics or the public gave a pass to slash praise for some sort

[1:29:41] of bullshit reason when the movie itself is garbage tim last name was held oh uh hands up hands up i've

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:46] got a hand okay yeah yeah yes john hodgman of the hodgman gazette well this is conventional wisdom

John Hodgman

[1:29:53] at this point and i'm sorry to say it but the the la la land not since the english patient has a movie

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:59] gone from everybody loves it everybody hates it so far i don't know birth of a nation went pretty quick

[1:30:04] well birth of a nation had the extenuating but what do you think is the bullshit reason

Dan McCoy

[1:30:08] what do you think there's a bullshit reason that it got a pass in this case

John Hodgman

[1:30:13] oh i'm no people who live in los angeles who loved la la land because it represented their experience

[1:30:20] and yet it was a dumb dumb movie and i love that filmmaker yeah whiplash was terrific incredible

[1:30:28] film but as like i i that was a rare occasion where i turned i i turned on a movie thinking like

[1:30:37] well i'm gonna like this movie um and i just got more and more depressed as i went on and primarily because

[1:30:46] the the all right let it out the people in it can't sing or dance yeah no if you want to see

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:53] a musical elliot's rubbing john's shoulders right now it's okay it's not your fault it's not your fault

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:58] it's not your fault it's their fault i feel like that happens a lot though like there's usually one or

[1:31:03] two oscar front runners who are like churched up quite a bit during the awards during the like festival

[1:31:10] season and then have a fall from grace either before or like a year or two after the awards

[1:31:15] where like like crash for instance where everyone's like fuck that movie but it's

[1:31:20] fucking one best picture dude what's going on yeah with with la la land it feels like

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:26] it's um it's a movie that's meant i think to be like a crowd-pleasing fun movie in a lot of ways

[1:31:31] but it turned out to be very divisive for a number of reasons and the people who

[1:31:35] saw it first i guess were the people who really really worked for and as it moved out throughout

[1:31:41] the country it hit the wave of people who didn't like i that was one where i had a similar experience

[1:31:45] where like we got our screeners for voting for the writers guild awards and that was that was the

Dan McCoy

[1:31:51] one i belong to the same fucking guild but for some reason i'm still like that was this guy that was

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:55] that well i'm saying maybe i didn't like it because i didn't see it in the theater i don't know

[1:31:58] but i was why i was like i'm gonna i'm can't wait to watch this movie i really loved whiplash

[1:32:03] it's a it's all about it's like a an homage to old musicals i love old musicals right and from

[1:32:09] almost moment one i was like there's something off about this movie and halfway through i had this

[1:32:14] crisis where i was like like is there something like are my am i calibrated wrong right now like

[1:32:19] am i have i lost sight of something because this is not working for me at all but it's something

[1:32:24] like this should be working for me and everyone all the things i read about it beforehand said it

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:28] worked for them and yeah there's definitely people that i whose opinions i respect who really liked it

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:34] at least when they first saw it and i like it just didn't work for me and i had to like figure out okay

[1:32:40] why didn't this movie work for me because i don't want to just be like oh this sucked i don't want

[1:32:44] to be like a friend of mine whose name i won't mention who is the the day after he saw the dark night

[1:32:51] sat down in front of me so that i couldn't couldn't move away and said okay tell me why i should like

[1:32:56] the dark night tell me why that was a good movie because i thought it was stupid and i was like

[1:33:01] that's not my job is your friend christian bale and well i had walked in his light and he was like

[1:33:06] mcg mcg have this man tell me why why the dark night was good but uh the but it was la la land it was

[1:33:12] like yeah i like it left me in this weird place you're just making him feel good about the movie

John Hodgman

[1:33:16] but uh whiplash was a movie that i like even though there is so much uh profound swearing i

[1:33:27] would show it to my kids in a second because i think it because you're like that's the kind

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:31] of discipline i'm talking about with you too when it comes to your music i think i think that it

John Hodgman

[1:33:35] captures uh both the the the wonderful aspects of creativity and the and the awful aspects of

[1:33:42] creativity and so like i went into la la land with full faith and confidence that this guy

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:49] understood it you're like dominic cheney he knows how to make a movie whatever his name is

[1:33:53] chiselle chiselle that's what it is cheney is he from the sopranos yeah uh

[1:33:59] but and then but he did he like didn't quite pull it off i just thought it was a dumb dumb film

John Hodgman

[1:34:05] and especially in context of uh moonlight which was damien chiselle

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:10] damien chiselle that's what it is because he's the omen kid yeah we we know i mean we know about

[1:34:15] movies you guys so i that's the name of our podcast we know about i was just led astray

Dan McCoy

[1:34:20] elliott's actually la la land's one of the five steps off name that he came up with

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:25] la la land's one of the best picture nominees i didn't see this year which one was uh la la land

[1:34:31] that like hacksaw ridge or i didn't see a bunch of them but i actually saw more than i i usually do

[1:34:39] and i thought in general you know i'm gonna go out on a limb and say movies that are nominated for

Dan McCoy

[1:34:44] oscars are pretty good let's let's back off to the original question though what was it because i

[1:34:49] forgot which is what are some movies that you think critics or the public gave a pass to for some sort of

John Hodgman

[1:34:54] bullshit reason uh i just want to say to damien chiselle i want to be in your films

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:02] don't take your calling la la land dum-dum yeah doesn't mean you don't want to work with him

Dan McCoy

[1:35:07] because i i love you what i have is and this is a movie this is a movie that i liked like it's not

[1:35:13] like i feel like this was a shitty movie it's called cheeky it's a movie though like look the

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:18] but it's called hard bodies it's called california hot tub club whatever it's called california hot

Dan McCoy

[1:35:26] wax la jacuzzi society uh no the lego movie the lego movie was a movie that i liked i thought it was a

[1:35:34] solid comedy but i thought it was over praised for the simple reason that everyone thought like

[1:35:42] the lego movie is going to be shitty because it's a movie about legos like people were like

[1:35:47] oh this is going to be a shitty movie because it's a branded content movie and so when it was not

[1:35:53] shitty i feel like then it was raised to the heavens as like the best comedy it's the greatest it's the

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:59] funniest movie ever made yeah and i would argue that that is a movie that i don't know it's not it's a

[1:36:05] it's not a bad movie and i liked a lot of it but there were times when i wanted to dial back quite a bit it

[1:36:11] was like they were making a while i was watching that movie i was like this is a movie for kids

[1:36:18] because it's so frenetic and it's so so many like explosions and meta jokes and things like that

John Hodgman

[1:36:23] 1941 of lego movies it just moves from set piece to set piece you don't even know what's happening

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:29] yeah kind of and then there's there's a bunch of jokes where it's like why are you undercutting the

[1:36:32] premise of your movie that i was enjoying like i don't get why you're doing this but i think you're

John Hodgman

[1:36:37] right that it was a little overpraised uh has anyone here seen the lego batman movie no i have no no

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:44] right all right let's do that next year oh wow the gauntlets thrown i'm just trying to say that

[1:36:51] i love the lego movie if you want to put me in your your next movie miller and lord i'm down uh i would

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:58] look look let's i think let's make one that's made clear we like that movie and also even if we

[1:37:03] didn't like a movie someone made none of us would be against being in a movie i think there's with the

[1:37:09] exception of maybe uva bowl and even with that no i would totally do it probably i there is no

[1:37:14] filmmaker i despise the work of enough that if they said do you want to be in a movie i would be like

[1:37:19] no way i'm above that i am not above that i think none of us are what about melvin gibson uh melvin

[1:37:26] gibson uh the star of the road warrior popular holocaust would you be in hacksaw ridge too now what

[1:37:32] about lenny riefenstahl well she's dead so i don't have to worry about that but yeah i think that's

[1:37:36] what i think someone who is actively a nazi is maybe where the rubber hits or a zombie

John Hodgman

[1:37:41] or a zombie that's a zombie i don't want to put you on the spot but would you be in a mel gibson

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:48] movie hmm i mean he doesn't like to work with jewish people so i'm kind of off the uh my wife

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:54] wouldn't let me be in a mel gibson movie uh she won't let me watch his fucking movies i don't know

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:00] what i would do in that situation which will never happen so i guess call his bluff mel gibson

John Hodgman

[1:38:06] none of it will ever happen that's why i'm asking yeah yeah you're the hansola to his greed

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:10] there's a part of me that uh i want to say would be like no he's someone who has said things i can't

[1:38:16] i can't abide by right but i have as a viewer tacitly endorsed so many artists who have done

[1:38:22] terrible things like if i can watch a roman polanski movie then i can't necessarily look down on

[1:38:29] watching a mel gibson movie who has as far as i know not raped any children you know he's just said

[1:38:35] terrible things you know and been a mean guy to people you know it reminds there was the one time i

[1:38:40] i felt bad for mel gibson was when they announced he was gonna do a cameo in the hangover too and the

[1:38:45] cast was like no way we will not work with mel gibson and he was like i didn't rape anybody mike

[1:38:51] tyson was in your last movie he went to jail for rape i never did that like it was like i was like

[1:38:57] fair point mel gibson this is a weird place for them to draw the line so ladies and gentlemen i'm

John Hodgman

[1:39:02] announcing elliot kalen elliot kalen and mike tyson in the remake of mel gibson's rosemary's baby

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:12] interesting now i'm gonna be in hacksaw ridge back to back to the hack in which somebody has to go

[1:39:17] andrew garfield's got to go back to save the prisoners i guess but hack back

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:21] elliot and mike tyson in rosemary's baby too uh i would say to get back to the question i wouldn't

[1:39:29] work with because i'd be afraid he would hit me but he's got that cute little voice

[1:39:34] um i would say to get back to the question though i mean i don't know if it's overly

[1:39:38] praised or anything but when it first came out the horror movie sinister i think got a little more praise

[1:39:44] than i would agree with um the fact that it just didn't fall apart completely and the fact that it

[1:39:49] had atmosphere but it it felt just too forced for me i feel like i've seen that film as as a as a

[1:39:56] horror movie buff i think it it might just come from the fact that i i like horror movies but sometimes

[1:40:02] if you're really into something a what i would consider to be like almost like an entry-level

[1:40:07] version of that thing comes off as like not what you're into and so for someone who has is not

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:13] familiar with that stuff at all and this is maybe the first horror movie they've seen in a long time

[1:40:17] or the first comedy or historical thing yeah like a real ethan hawk fan that just wants to see ethan

[1:40:23] you know do his thing for a couple of minutes they're there it reminds me a lot of people who read

[1:40:29] a perfectly fine comic book and are like this is amazing it's changing the way they're doing comics

[1:40:33] and it's like i can't really look at it that way because i read them regularly so these don't

[1:40:37] things don't seem new to me but i like that you're getting that kind of joy is kind of pretentious i mean

John Hodgman

[1:40:43] so you're snobs is what you're all right too deep that's what i'm saying too deep in the weeds i think

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:47] we would be snobs if we were saying nobody should enjoy this because there's a better thing out

[1:40:52] there and i'm not saying that right i'm saying i can't help like i can't go into something and be

[1:40:56] like i'm gonna forget that i'm steeped in this world and i'm gonna enter it as a newbie so that i

John Hodgman

[1:41:01] enjoy the same way other people do just a couple of snobs who hate saga but love sinister

[1:41:06] wait no i didn't i said i don't like one last one last let me go on let me go out on a limb here's

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:12] here's a movie that's gotten a pass for too long it's called some like it hot fuck it let's go to

[1:41:16] the next one not a movie i like never have billy wilder love your work don't like that one

[1:41:25] yeah world star anyway hate me now i'm just a heel in a wrestling match hate me oh i don't like

[1:41:31] something like it hot bring it on uh one my country we crush america and we hate something like it hot

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:39] by the way no offense i have a family the ravaging rick rude pelvic thrust right now

John Hodgman

[1:41:44] no offense i have a family i'd like to go home at some point let's that's not how this podcast one

Dan McCoy

[1:41:48] last email uh it's from matt last name with hell who writes where am i in the world i don't know matt

[1:41:54] lower matt matt right flower i don't know why but should i shave my eyebrows i don't know why but i've

[1:42:03] been keeping track of the various claims the three of you made about each other's penises

[1:42:07] maybe i'm depressed i'm definitely unemployed some for dan i'm not large disinterested penis

[1:42:14] some for stewart a big dick and irradiated testicles some for elliot a functional cat warming

[1:42:21] penis i'm gonna go drink now matt last of the held what was what was his last name last time yeah that's

[1:42:28] right so you say about the letter i don't know about not large i think i just said average

John Hodgman

[1:42:34] well average would be not large average is the word i didn't hear a question in there at all

[1:42:40] part of this conversation okay so let me just say that uh i am uh i have no genitals whatsoever

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:49] and yet you said you were a sexual being earlier oh i was lying now uh is this the time we unveil this

[1:42:55] new segment that dan and i've been talking about for a while called dick busters in which we bust myths

[1:42:59] about our dicks because it seems like there's some misinformation about there so we're

[1:43:03] going to run some tests to see if common urban legends about our penises are accurate should i go

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:08] should i go get that piece of foam core that i wrote myth on that we're going to ram our dicks

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:12] against and break in half for the opening number yeah opening number because each

[1:43:20] the opening number from sunday in the park with your bit by bit putting it together

Dan McCoy

[1:43:27] ounce by ounce dick by dick you don't know dick about our dicks and we're here to change that dick

[1:43:37] busters that kind of stuff you know yeah uh what do we do now dan now is the last segment of the

[1:43:43] podcast other than i think they'll probably say something else about the max fund drive but

[1:43:47] for whoever's still left let's call it the last segment of the podcast survivors to the end of

[1:43:51] this episode there are where we recommend movies that we actually liked something that you should

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:59] watch instead of 1941 cool steward do you have cool cool oh do i have a recommendation yeah uh yeah i'll

[1:44:07] totally recommend is that is that the uh the orchestra under the stage trying to play me off well i guess

[1:44:13] i want to thank uh my mom for squirting steward out

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:19] steward we're on there's a seven second delay it's okay you can say that

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:22] okay uh so i'm gonna recommend a movie that uh i'm a little ashamed that i hadn't got to until very

[1:44:29] recently uh i i watch it just the other day it's called all dogs go to heaven too

[1:44:37] frankly i spoke to my priest and apologized

[1:44:43] so i'm gonna recommend a movie called uh

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:45] you went to a priest for spiritual guidance he goes i got i've got a movie i think you'll find

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:50] oh i got a movie you'd like to see and he hands you a vhs tape of all dogs don't have it i'm like

[1:44:56] i don't know how to play this father he's like stick it in your ipod like i guess i'll try that

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:02] is this oh i could help you with that right is this canon now oh they elected a five-year-old pope

[1:45:08] and this is what he's interested in these days he's a young pope

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:13] so the movie i'm going to recommend tonight is a movie from 2011 called man borg it's a trim

[1:45:20] like 65 minutes long you have no reason not to watch it i'm an idiot for not having seen it sooner

[1:45:27] it's great go see it i think after one of our live shows actually i met the guys who made it uh so if

[1:45:36] that's true tell me uh that happened because it because your movie is fucking awesome you're

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:44] worried that maybe the weapon x program planted this false memory of you meeting the man board

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:49] create quite possibly man borg is fucking great it is about a soldier in the war of humans against the

[1:45:56] armies of hell that were brought to earth by dr scorpius and a young soldier uh gets his gets killed

[1:46:04] gets killed while fighting count draculon and is turned into the ultimate of weapon of war

[1:46:11] man borg and he has to uh he has to lead the resistance in the fight against count draculon

[1:46:16] i totally recommend this movie it's great if you saw i i would say the closest movie i could approximate

[1:46:23] it to is uh kung fury the the short from a year or two ago which feels like it lifted a lot of stuff

[1:46:32] from man borg um but i totally recommend it check it out uh they have a new movie coming out where the

John Hodgman

[1:46:40] train uh the trailer looks amazing it's called uh but it's called the one

[1:46:49] check it out man borg

Dan McCoy

[1:46:53] hello it's me dan sorry we played you off uh so i want to recommend a movie that's also uh written

[1:47:01] by robert zemeckis and bob yale uh who wrote 1941 is it back to the fucking future no no 1941 is it young

John Hodgman

[1:47:09] sherlock holmes no i don't think they wrote that one uh i

Dan McCoy

[1:47:14] i don't think they just call it sherlock holmes uh there's a movie that they made just prior to

[1:47:23] 1941 called i want to hold your hand that was actually directed by robert zemeckis and not steven spielberg

John Hodgman

[1:47:30] uh starring bobby to gillow and is there a certain eddie in it it started eddie

Dan McCoy

[1:47:35] is there a certain movie that was in it nancy allen was in it uh stars of 1941 uh probably uh

[1:47:42] it's about teens who are caught up in the throes of beetle mania and they won't they don't have tickets

[1:47:49] to see um the ed sullivan show when the beatles are coming to town uh but they want to see them and

[1:47:58] they go through all sort of madcap adventures to see the beatles and i don't remember it super well

[1:48:04] because it's been a while so i've seen it but it's a bob gill and robert zemeckis madcap comedy that i

[1:48:09] remember enjoying a lot in contrast to 1941 so i want to hold your hand is my recommendation

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:24] well done uh johnny recommending anything no thank you okay then i'm gonna recommend i haven't seen

[1:48:30] anything recently that i really liked uh particularly that's a great way to avoid getting played off

[1:48:35] so don't the only way to i'm not i'm respected i'm respectful of the uh of the audience's time

[1:48:40] the only way to win is not to play it's what war games taught us is that what it says on the box of

[1:48:45] crossfire don't buy this so i'm gonna recommend instead one of my favorite movies i may have

[1:48:51] recommended it before it's a comedy from 1944 that is also about a country at war on the home front

[1:48:58] and that's the miracle of morgan's creek preston surgis wrote and directed it and it stars eddie

[1:49:02] bracken and betty hutton and it's the story of a woman who wants to send the boys off with one last

[1:49:08] shebang and finds herself married to a man she doesn't remember the name of and pregnant and she has

[1:49:14] to figure out how to make this situation okay with the help of affinity bracken and it is hilarious

John Hodgman

[1:49:21] so if you want to see a world war comedy

[1:49:28] miracle of morgan's creek

[1:49:29] i'm sorry i got the title slightly wrong of one of my favorite movies because he threw me off with the

Stuart Wellington

[1:49:44] music uh john was like staring you dead in the eyes the whole time like what he's gonna do when he does

Dan McCoy

[1:49:52] my tattoo so uh we should sign off soon but we just like now want to reiterate that the max fund drive

[1:50:01] is going on right now yes you should go to maximumfund.com or dot org rather slash donate i'm so i'm so

[1:50:09] worried that john's gonna play me off that i'm uh maximumfund.org forward slash donate

Stuart Wellington

[1:50:16] hey guys i just want to throw i just want to point out that uh what uh 10 minutes ago in real time so this

[1:50:24] this thursday night uh jesse announced that we actually broke 10 000 yeah we did it which is

[1:50:31] fucking crazy dude that's amazing thanks everybody it's crazy it's amazing thank you listeners it's that

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:37] other marilsmith song crying crying i'm crying right now crazy amazing crying amazing crazen uh

Dan McCoy

[1:50:43] stewart do you want to say something about the max fund meetup night yeah so next tuesday that's the

Stuart Wellington

[1:50:50] 28th uh that's the official max fund meetup day if you're listening to this after march 28th you missed

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:55] it you missed it right if you're listening to this 2017 yeah it was 2017 if it's the far future

[1:51:01] and civilization has fallen and you just found this recording don't go to hinterlands for the max fund

Stuart Wellington

[1:51:06] meetup because you missed it it's not next tuesday instead focus on things like food uh the precious

Elliott Kalan

[1:51:12] juice find a mate get the get this civilization back up and running maybe get some seeds

[1:51:19] sure you know just go to the store get some seeds some advice seeds

Stuart Wellington

[1:51:25] so uh the 28th here's a hot tip seeds

[1:51:31] go over to maximumfund.org and check out uh there's a list of different max fund meetups in

[1:51:38] different areas see if there's one in your area in brooklyn new york uh i'm going to be hosting one

[1:51:44] over at hinterlands hey that's your bar in deep brooklyn that's the bar that i own so i have to be

[1:51:50] there contractually uh dan's going to be there i'm working on elliot and i'm working on hodge

[1:51:57] hodgman over there i'm promising nothing i'm going to be there all night long crying if elliot doesn't

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:02] show up and if you want to see stewart cry there's a very good chance and there's going to be some other

Stuart Wellington

[1:52:07] really great there's going to be uh mark gagliardi has told me he's coming and a few others uh it should

[1:52:13] be a great time uh they've they've been great in the past uh i was just shoveling snow and puke

[1:52:19] covered snow out of the backyard so there's going to be plenty of space for y'all the glamorous life

[1:52:25] of a tavern keep and if you're not in new york check out maximumfund.org for the meetup in your

[1:52:32] area but if you're in brooklyn or new york come to mine okay i'm done and if you haven't donated by

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:37] now already please donate now it's been a long episode you've had plenty of time do it now before

[1:52:41] you forget upgrade or donate for the first time to support the people and the things you love in

[1:52:46] their creative endeavors as we continue to create quality content that goes in your ears and then

[1:52:51] rattles around your brain and then you think about it later and you're like why am i thinking about

Stuart Wellington

[1:52:54] this right now but you are it's stuck there you're doing harry potter it's all john williams

Dan McCoy

[1:53:01] all right uh that's the signal for us to sign off so for the flop house i've been dan mccoy hey i'm

John Hodgman

[1:53:08] stewart wellington i'm elliot kalen and i am no man good night everyone

Dan McCoy

[1:53:22] especially because this is a an extra episode that we're doing all because

Stuart Wellington

[1:53:25] all because extra episode uh what's gonna happen instead of recommendations we don't know

[1:53:32] sex commendations i think hot off of our kids movie where we said jizz i think a record number of

[1:53:38] times i think it's a good idea that we follow it up with those uh sex traps

John Hodgman

[1:53:45] maximumfund.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported

[1:53:50] Thank you.

Ep. #227 - 1941

Chapters

Transcript

In this episode

Description