Ep. #302 - Cats

[0:00] On this episode of the Flophouse, another current release, it's Cats!

[0:07] That's right, it's the first annual question mark Flophouse Catstacular Catstravaganza,

[0:14] with special guests, Natalie Walker and Jenny Jaffe, live!

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse, I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:51] Oh, hey there Dan McCoy, I'm little Stewie Wellington.

[0:55] And over here is Big Elliot Kalen, the fiercest lumberjack of the Northwest.

[1:00] And who do you have next to you, Elliot?

[1:03] Sitting next to me, it's...

[1:05] Jenny Jaffe!

[1:06] That's right everybody, returning guest Jenny Jaffe.

[1:08] And Dan, who's sitting next to you?

[1:10] Who is it? It's Natalie Walker!

[1:13] It's Natalie Walker!

[1:14] I don't know, I wanted you to...

[1:16] We didn't practice this bit, Elliot, you messed us up.

[1:18] Just a legendary Cats freak.

[1:20] Yeah.

[1:21] I think it's very fitting that there are so many of us to introduce, though.

[1:25] Yes, because each of us has a song to sing about our names and also our characteristics,

[1:30] which are, strangely enough, almost the same characteristics all the other ones of us have.

[1:34] But we all get our own songs.

[1:36] I'm Janeeja Phoebe on a podcast, Cat.

[1:40] I'm Paul F. Tompkins, the podcast guest, Cat.

[1:45] I mean, he's kind of dressed like a...

[1:47] He is dressed like a Jellicle Cat already.

[1:49] He's dressed like a Bustopher Jones.

[1:51] He's a full Bustopher Jones.

[1:53] He goes into the table and says, give me the full Bustopher.

[1:56] How long are we going to wait into the show before we start deciding which character we are?

[2:03] I mean, we can do whatever you want, Stu.

[2:06] I'm just saying...

[2:08] Should we just do it now, Stu?

[2:10] Yeah, I want to get...

[2:12] It's the cat in the room.

[2:13] Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty clearly a rum-tum-tugger sort.

[2:17] It goes without saying.

[2:19] I like to think of myself as a regular Skimbleshanks, you know, railway cat.

[2:23] Wow.

[2:24] And what's the name of the...

[2:26] You're Gus the Theater Cat.

[2:27] ...the cranky barge cat.

[2:29] That's my favorite character, Growltiger, and he does a slant rhyme.

[2:35] That was such a surprise.

[2:37] I mean, not to jump ahead, but I was so happily surprised to see British crime movie feature...

[2:46] Ray Winstone to show up.

[2:48] It was the moment Ray Winstone shows up in Growltiger, and I was like, is he going to sing a song too?

[2:53] And then he does.

[2:54] I was like, yes.

[2:55] When he showed up, I'm like, is he going to kill somebody?

[2:59] Man, I think you are very clearly Mr. Mistoffelees, the cat who lacks confidence, but everyone believes in him.

[3:05] You know what?

[3:06] And in the end, he gets the job done.

[3:07] I was going to get to this later on, so I...

[3:11] But I feel like since you've slandered me with that, I need to say...

[3:16] Why is that slander?

[3:17] Mistoffelees is the hottest one in this whole movie.

[3:19] Yeah, but I got this kind of real nice guy energy from Mr. Mistoffelees.

[3:25] Oh, yeah, exactly.

[3:27] I was really hanging out trying to impress Victoria the whole time.

[3:30] Like, surely if I save her from a dog, she'll love me, and I didn't care for that.

[3:33] Yeah, but when he starts doing his thing, man, he's like flying and shit.

[3:38] Yeah.

[3:39] Yeah, that's true.

[3:40] He's making roses fly out of flying trombones.

[3:42] Okay, Dan, you know what you are?

[3:43] You're MonkaStrap, the narrator cat who's so boring he doesn't even get named in the movie.

[3:48] That's true.

[3:49] He doesn't get his own song.

[3:50] He can only say interesting things about other cats.

[3:53] That was his curse.

[3:55] No discerning quality.

[3:56] He's also there to lead Victoria, our audience surrogate cat, gently by the hand to see the next character.

[4:04] I wish that she had a song where she was like, Victoria's an audience surrogate cat, and I'll look at that, and I'll look at that.

[4:12] Like that kind of thing.

[4:13] So can we mention what we do on this podcast?

[4:15] Well, hold on.

[4:16] Hold on.

[4:17] Before we do that, more stuff.

[4:18] Yeah, before we do that, I also want to say I am Taylor Swift Dismount Ballerina because I just want to show up and do one song and think I'm really sexy but not be that good at dancing.

[4:30] While other people dance around me well, and I'm sort of like giving face while doing it but not actually doing a good job.

[4:39] She's animated strangely.

[4:41] Oh, yeah.

[4:42] She's the only one with boobs.

[4:44] It was weird that she suddenly showed up and was like, oh, cats can't have boobs, huh?

[4:48] All right.

[4:49] I guess that was in her contract.

[4:50] And Jenny, which cat are you?

[4:51] So I actually thought that you and I maybe were the mischief cats because I have a feeling we might be very obnoxious to work with.

[4:57] Yeah, that's true.

[4:59] You know, I had a real problem listening to that song just because every time they said Mungo Jerry, I just kept thinking of the band that did it in the summertime.

[5:08] And I was like – I had to look it up later.

[5:11] I'm like, of course, because that's from the 70s.

[5:13] Mungo Jerry took its name from the T.S. Eliot poem just like cats took those names from the T.S. Eliot poem.

[5:21] But I'm like, OK, this is weird.

[5:23] It would be like if one of the cats was just named Led Zeppelin.

[5:27] Like many of the characters in the early issues of the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure comic book where there's a character named REO Speedwagon.

[5:36] There's a character named Dio, et cetera, et cetera.

[5:39] OK.

[5:40] So, Dan, what are we doing in this podcast now that we've talked about cat names for a little bit?

[5:44] Yeah.

[5:45] Well, we'll talk about the naming of cats later on I think too.

[5:49] But right now this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie.

[5:55] And then we talk about it.

[5:58] And this is a movie that's currently in theaters, and we have all seen it at least once in the theater.

[6:04] And we're going to be doing something a little different.

[6:07] We see a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[6:09] I said that, Eliot.

[6:11] I didn't hear you say it.

[6:12] Well, you constantly don't listen to me.

[6:15] But –

[6:16] How Mungo Jerry of you?

[6:20] What was I saying?

[6:22] Oh, you've derailed my train.

[6:25] Skimbleshanks, that's not your job.

[6:27] That's why you can't be Skimbleshanks.

[6:29] No, Skimbleshanks keeps that train on the track so he can tap dance along it at the time when cats are about an inch tall as opposed to other parts of the movie where cats are a foot tall.

[6:38] I saw a picture on the internet of the actor who plays Skimbleshanks, but it was a full-body nude.

[6:45] And that guy's ass cheeks are like two giant hams.

[6:49] Because he's a ballet dancer.

[6:51] Yeah.

[6:52] As far as whole body, all his muscles are in his thighs and his glutes.

[6:55] Yeah, which makes it a shame that they dress him up like a fucking Mario brother, right?

[7:00] He's one of the few cats that wears pants.

[7:02] I feel like it was so horny for most of it, but then I feel like there were some bodies that they were like, if we just have this guy's ass out, it's like we have to push it into PG-13.

[7:14] So they went as far as the other direction as they could because he kind of leaps into the movie like, whee!

[7:21] He leaps in and he's in so many clothes.

[7:25] I really felt like this movie was my monkey's paw wish to see Idris Elba naked.

[7:30] Yeah, it's really – it's like, oh, did you want it like this?

[7:34] It's not.

[7:36] It seems like a strange choice to me, just jumping into that.

[7:39] Macavity, the evil cat, who is – his trademark look is a trench coat for most of the movie.

[7:44] When it's time for him to do his big dance, he doesn't have it, and they're just like, we'll just make him look like a naked guy with no penis.

[7:50] Yeah, it's really insane.

[7:52] Well, also because the song, she just said that he's a ginger cat, but then they make it Idris Elba's skin tone, and it's like, oh, I feel uncomfortable about all of this.

[8:02] No one is as naked as Idris Elba is in this movie.

[8:05] How is he going to be covered in fur and yet incredibly naked at the same time?

[8:09] I don't know.

[8:10] Yeah, he looks like he could do that move that that guy does in the Watchmen TV show where he lubes himself up and slides into a gutter.

[8:19] So, Dan, what was the thing you wanted to say?

[8:21] No, I just wanted to say that we're going to do things a little differently because normally one of the three of us provides the synopsis such as it is.

[8:30] But we have to give the power of position to our guest, Natalie, who, along with being a musical theater actress herself, was at the premiere of Cats.

[8:43] I was at the premiere of Cats, and I have also seen the movie four times.

[8:47] In theaters now, I've seen it under every sort of influence that I can be under, and so I really feel like it's my time to shine.

[8:57] And the reason we should explain that the reason that you guys are on the podcast for this episode is that you demanded to be on the podcast for this episode.

[9:04] Yeah, as soon as the trailer came out, we said that's what has to happen.

[9:08] When the trailer came out, I think both of you were like, we need to be on this show.

[9:12] I think we conspired together.

[9:14] I texted Natalie when the trailer came out, and I was like, so we're doing the Flophouse about this.

[9:18] And then I texted you and said, hey, make note when Cats comes out, Natalie and I are jointly guesting on Flophouse.

[9:25] Yes.

[9:26] And then it was beyond all of our wildest dreams.

[9:29] This is a backdoor pilot for Natalie and my podcast where we only talk about Cats every week.

[9:35] Yeah.

[9:36] We just go in-depth on a different cat every single week.

[9:39] I would love that.

[9:40] We go through the entire history of the cat.

[9:42] I love that.

[9:44] Yeah.

[9:45] OK.

[9:46] So tell us, Natalie, what is the tale of, pun intended, of Cats?

[9:52] How long is a cat tale?

[9:53] That is another thing the movie could not agree on.

[9:56] I mean, there's so much about the size and shape of Cats.

[9:59] I wanted to ask you.

[10:00] So, before we start, should we quiz Natalie about the premiere before or after we talk about the movie?

[10:08] I think maybe for those, maybe we should do the plot first, and then we should talk about the premiere afterwards.

[10:15] Because I'm guessing you're going to, we've already spent so much time referring to things that will be utter nonsense to anyone who hasn't seen the movie.

[10:22] And to anyone who has!

[10:24] And to people who have seen it.

[10:26] Okay, so, we open on the sky.

[10:30] The only thing large enough to contain Cats 2019.

[10:34] But what's not revealing itself to us amidst the stars?

[10:37] Sweetie is the face of a cat.

[10:39] The jellicle moon is out, baby!

[10:41] We fly down through London of an indeterminate time period according to the libretto, 1939 or the present or a time in space.

[10:49] 1939 is when T.S. Eliot wrote the Cats series of novels.

[10:54] Because they keep referring to Queen Victoria, and I was like, they have a car.

[10:58] So it can't be really Queen Victoria time.

[11:01] Exactly.

[11:02] It's all a mishmash.

[11:04] So you're saying it's 1939, and what the film is saying is, the greatest war in human history is about to break open.

[11:11] All walls have been suspended.

[11:13] Cats now have human faces and hands and can dance the night away.

[11:17] Well, and everyone has left town to prepare for that war.

[11:21] Exactly.

[11:22] I think we've all learned that all those laws are meaningless because McAvity has already broken them all.

[11:26] Go on.

[11:27] Every human law.

[11:28] The first thing my boyfriend said when we woke up this morning, like before anything else, he just goes, every human law, Jenny.

[11:35] Every one.

[11:36] And it's not just British laws.

[11:38] McAvity has broken the law of every country.

[11:40] Every human.

[11:41] Every human law.

[11:43] McAvity has chewed gum in Singapore.

[11:45] McAvity has jaywalked.

[11:47] He went to Thailand and drew a mustache on a poster of the king of Thailand.

[11:51] Very serious over there.

[11:53] He's set so many things on fire.

[11:55] You know what?

[11:56] I bet McAvity, he was only doing it for research because he wrote one of those books they used to sell at scholastic book fairs that are like, 101 crazy laws.

[12:02] And they're like, did you know you can't quack like a duck in Bedford, New York?

[12:05] That kind of stuff.

[12:06] I bet McAvity was just testing for that.

[12:08] Yeah.

[12:09] Just went through all of them.

[12:10] Okay, so we've established that it's in London, and the jellicle moon is out.

[12:14] The jellicle moon is out.

[12:15] Then a car pulls over.

[12:17] Someone pops out.

[12:19] Click, clack, click, clack, click, clack.

[12:21] Go her heels.

[12:22] And you think those are going to be the signifiers of a human presence throughout the movie.

[12:25] Except for that most of the cats will randomly start wearing shoes midway through.

[12:30] Woman swings a burlap sack around.

[12:33] And then she hurls it into the alleyway.

[12:36] And a bunch of cats start circling the little burlap sack.

[12:40] What is in the sack?

[12:41] What is in the sack?

[12:42] And all of a sudden, a little white cat jumps out.

[12:45] Who is this?

[12:46] Her name is Victoria.

[12:47] She's a little white cat.

[12:49] Natalie, I think you're doing a disservice.

[12:51] When you just say cats, I don't think you are accurately representing what slams against your eyeballs.

[12:58] We have to take a moment or perhaps 15 minutes to talk about the way these cats look

[13:04] and how it is a fundamental flaw in the conception of this movie.

[13:08] Or the thing that makes it perfect.

[13:11] It is both the serious flaw that ruins the film and also, as you said, Natalie,

[13:16] the thing that rockets it to the next level of euphoria.

[13:19] Rather than people in the show Cats, I've never seen the show, but I've seen pictures of it.

[13:26] They just look, and I saw the commercials that played endlessly in the New York area.

[13:33] Cats, now and forever at the Winter Garden.

[13:35] I saw those growing up, and it was like, okay, the people look silly.

[13:37] They look like WWF wrestlers that are supposed to be cat-themed.

[13:41] Instead here, I guess you would call it a Lovecraftian monstrosity.

[13:45] Something that is neither cat nor human, but has the worst and also sexiest qualities of both.

[13:51] It's also just like nothing can prepare you for it.

[13:54] I saw the pictures. I'd seen clips going in.

[13:57] But the first time you see it and you're really forced to sit and interact with it in a storytelling context,

[14:04] it's the most horrific thing.

[14:07] Everywhere you look, there's something else freakish.

[14:10] Why is there so much shoulder action?

[14:13] Why are their hands like that?

[14:15] How come they're always posed so that their butts are sticking up in the air?

[14:18] You've seen a cat before.

[14:21] Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

[14:22] That is very accurate to actual cats.

[14:25] But the problem is, with an actual cat, you just push that butt out of your face saying,

[14:29] get out of here with that.

[14:31] Whereas when you see sexy dancer butts being stuck in the air,

[14:35] you're like, this brings a different context to the whole thing that I'm not comfortable with.

[14:39] Apparently they had to go through some kind of cat camp for training,

[14:42] and I think they went a little overboard with it.

[14:44] Because there are tons of times in the movie where I'm like,

[14:48] they have nailed that aspect of cat movement.

[14:50] But yeah, it is creepy to see a human being doing that.

[14:53] It is so much just twitching.

[14:56] It made me realize that there's such a thin line between cat movements

[15:01] and kind of like Vogue, kind of Paris' Burning style pose dancing.

[15:06] So I was like, this is basically Paris' Burning, but with cats instead of people.

[15:11] They're all presenting themselves.

[15:13] Well, when they have Le Twins doing their actual dancing,

[15:16] I'm like, oh, yes, more of this in the Jellicle Ball.

[15:21] Get Billy Porter in here to judge all of the cats.

[15:24] Funny you should say that.

[15:25] I mean, what if Billy Porter had been pulled in to play Macavity?

[15:31] What a show this would have been.

[15:34] And he just would have roasted all of them as he was taking them,

[15:38] as he was poofing them into dust.

[15:40] He would have had like just reeds on them instead of just going,

[15:44] Macavity, or meow.

[15:46] Yes, Macavity has, whenever he turns a cat into dust,

[15:50] he has a different catchphrase.

[15:51] Each one is sillier than the last.

[15:54] When he just says meow, I really think my brain broke in a beautiful way.

[15:59] Well, my favorite is when he goes, magic.

[16:02] Just like saying the thing he's doing as he does.

[16:05] Yeah, he's saying bat and turning into a bat.

[16:08] I think a major flaw of the movie is that it's called Cats

[16:11] and the people look like cats,

[16:13] and they're constantly singing about how they're cats.

[16:15] But the movie is like, we got to keep convincing you that they're cats.

[16:18] Sometimes they'll just go, meow, meow.

[16:21] Or put their hands behind their ear and it's like, I get it, they're cats.

[16:25] Take a break from being cats for a moment.

[16:27] When they meet Jennifer Hudson, crawl in the crowd.

[16:32] Let her stand up, let her walk away.

[16:38] Ian McKellen's cat performance is like,

[16:41] he took it up a couple extra notches.

[16:43] We'll get to that.

[16:46] I am licking up the milk.

[16:48] Sir Ian McKellen lapping up milk

[16:52] is the most upsetting thing I've ever seen committed to film.

[16:57] I just want to say, so this movie opens,

[17:00] we have human-cat hybrids walking around,

[17:03] and I love that the movie does not fuck around.

[17:06] It immediately throws you in.

[17:07] They start singing this jellicle song that we're going to talk about.

[17:10] About other jellicles, yeah.

[17:12] Experiencing that with a first-time audience

[17:15] was so much fun to feel the energy of people realizing

[17:19] what they were actually doing.

[17:21] Oh, this is the movie.

[17:23] Yeah, it's so much madder than you think from the start.

[17:28] I had this jaw-open look that I can only liken to

[17:33] the reaction shots at the end of the producers

[17:35] when they're watching Springtime for Hitler.

[17:37] I look over at Stuart and he has the exact same face on.

[17:42] My journey with Cats was like,

[17:43] I had about 15 minutes of that stunned face,

[17:46] then about 60 or 70 minutes of hysterical laughter,

[17:51] and then the rest half-hour of the movie,

[17:54] I was in something close to awe.

[17:57] You're just in tears because you're like,

[17:58] I've seen the face of God and it's a cat's face.

[18:01] So, I apologize.

[18:02] Natalie, so you've taken us about three minutes into the movie.

[18:05] Correct.

[18:06] We're all talking about how they're jellicles, right?

[18:08] This is the imposed narrative of the movie

[18:12] because Cats, notably, doesn't really have a plot.

[18:16] It literally is just Cats coming forward.

[18:19] It's like the second act of The Nutcracker

[18:21] where everyone just comes forward and is like,

[18:23] here is me, here is my thing, goodbye.

[18:26] And then the real coup...

[18:28] Here's how we dance in Russia, see you later.

[18:30] Here's how we dance in Arabia, see you later.

[18:32] Exactly.

[18:33] The real coup of Tom Hooper's is that he's like,

[18:36] we're going to have a whole journey

[18:38] where we have our audience surrogate cat who is coming in

[18:41] because Victoria is just like one of the cats in the actual show

[18:45] and you just go into the show

[18:47] and the cats are prowling around the audience

[18:50] and it just starts with them singing jellicle songs at you.

[18:54] They're not doing it to...

[18:55] The whole show of Cats is that all of them are on the same page

[18:59] and you are an outsider who sucks

[19:02] and doesn't know what's going on.

[19:04] I like, spoiler alert, the end of this movie

[19:06] when Judi Dench sings a song directly at the audience

[19:08] and I was like, could she hear me laughing at her?

[19:10] Yes, yes!

[19:11] But I also feel like these efforts to make it an understandable narrative

[19:16] end up being even more alienating.

[19:19] Oh no, it makes it even worse.

[19:21] Because your brain...

[19:22] When it's just the songs, your brain gets into this rhythm of like,

[19:25] oh, okay, I'm watching a review

[19:27] and then someone tries to advance the plot and you're like,

[19:30] whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

[19:31] What is this?

[19:32] Yeah.

[19:33] The fact that you said...

[19:35] I think the moment that typifies what they should have been doing

[19:39] with the movie for me is when Rum Tum Tugger is singing

[19:42] and then he just finishes and Victoria's just like, whew!

[19:44] And then Bustopher Jones just strolls out of nowhere

[19:46] like, hey, it's time for my song, Bustopher Jones.

[19:49] Oh, hello.

[19:50] There's so many moments where you're like,

[19:52] and now the movie will begin.

[19:55] No, Jimble Shanks is going to tell us what it's like to live on the train.

[19:58] That's the best transition.

[20:00] In the movie, because not only does he, like, not only does, uh, Bustopher Jones just sort of take her arm and walk her away,

[20:08] as if, like, he's like, now you listen to me.

[20:11] Yeah, he's like...

[20:12] In the end of Remtongue Tigersong, he just turns and runs down the street away from the camera.

[20:18] Well, no, because I think Grizabella is in between. I think he hisses at Grizabella at the end of his,

[20:23] and then we get the moment of Jennifer Hudson being in a whole different movie from everyone else.

[20:29] Which, like, it felt like a good 10% of the audience in our theater.

[20:33] Most everybody else was there to see it, ironically, but there was a 10% of the people that were like,

[20:39] Jennifer Hudson's in a movie singing songs, I'm gonna go see that.

[20:43] So anytime the very disrespectful audience were, like, trying to riff over Jennifer Hudson's performance,

[20:51] they were getting shushed, and rightly so.

[20:53] Yes, I believe so. I really think that Jennifer Hudson is good in the movie that she is in,

[20:58] and I think it's right that she's in a different movie, because Grizabella is the outsider character.

[21:03] Ultimately, more so than Victoria.

[21:06] I don't know that there's any performer in this movie who does themselves an injustice.

[21:11] They're all handed, like, bad material to work with, basically.

[21:14] Like, everyone's trying their hardest, no one's crapping out, everyone's trying to sell it.

[21:19] Judy Dench finally gets her chance to be in Cats after missing her chance to be in the original London production of it.

[21:24] Correct.

[21:25] I was like, everyone is really working hard, there's nobody who's like, wink, I know it's stupid, it's Cats.

[21:31] I have a theory about what you're saying.

[21:34] Not having seen the stage musical, is the scene where Bustopher Jones gets hit in the nuts by a garbage can...

[21:39] Absolutely not. That is not in it.

[21:43] Okay, Dan, what were you gonna say?

[21:45] Well, I have two things that are brought up by things you've said.

[21:51] One, about how everyone, like, kind of acquits themselves as best they can.

[21:54] Like, I kept thinking during it, you know, not to borrow the title of another popular podcast,

[22:00] How Did This Get Made?

[22:02] Right.

[22:03] But it was a sense of, like, okay, there is such seriousness of purpose from these actors,

[22:08] and I think that it's because, of course, they are acting in a stage production of Cats,

[22:13] not knowing that later on CGI fur will be obscuring everything, all the fine work that they're doing.

[22:19] They have no idea.

[22:21] How could they have known?

[22:22] Yeah, there's no way.

[22:23] How could they have known that's what it would look like?

[22:25] Yeah.

[22:26] It's like, when Harrison Ford was filming the upcoming film, Call of the Wild,

[22:31] which we saw the trailer for before Cats,

[22:34] and I feel like there must have been a moment where Harrison Ford went up to the director and was like,

[22:38] the dog's gonna look normal, right?

[22:42] And the director's like, uh, yeah.

[22:46] I saw that trailer, and I'm like, they know that dogs exist in the world, right?

[22:50] They don't have to have this crazy-looking fake dog.

[22:52] The trailers before our screening of Cats.

[22:54] It was originally called Scooby of the Wild.

[22:56] The trailers before our screening of Cats, it started with the Aretha Franklin movie, Respect.

[23:03] Then it went to In the Heights, and we're like, oh, okay, this makes sense.

[23:07] And then it goes to Call of the Wild, and I'm like, uh, wait a minute.

[23:10] And then it goes to Sonic the Hedgehog, and at that point the audience is going crazy.

[23:15] And then there's also some Christian movie about a rock musician, and also, uh. . .

[23:20] It was lost in the blue whirlwind of the Sonic the Hedgehog trailer.

[23:24] But Doolittle, they had Doolittle, too.

[23:26] It was all the hits.

[23:28] Look, anything with animals or songs, that's what the Cats people are there for.

[23:31] Now, Dan, to answer your question, how did this get made?

[23:33] I have a, I think there is a very rational case to be made for making a movie, this movie of Cats.

[23:39] Cats was a huge hit for a long time.

[23:41] It was the longest-running show in both London and New York.

[23:44] The cast is amazing.

[23:46] Even the people who are not famous are fantastic performers.

[23:49] I don't know why that they then decided. . .

[23:51] So on paper, it's like, this should be a hit.

[23:54] And then for some reason they were like, but first we're going to slap some weird CGI crazy cat bodies on everybody.

[24:00] I have a theory about this, too.

[24:01] Oh, sorry, you go, Jenny, and then I'll. . .

[24:02] Oh, no, so I sort of disagree that it should be a hit because, like, by its nature, Cats is basically a review.

[24:08] It's like, it kind of works as a stage show, but even then, like, only sort of. . .

[24:12] But you could do, if they did it as a review movie, I think it might have worked as like a novelty.

[24:17] Here's how I think it would have been awesome.

[24:19] I legit, and I'm glad they didn't.

[24:20] I'm so glad they came out with this awful monstrosity instead.

[24:23] But, like, I think if they had done a really cool Fantasia-like animated movie where they were, like, trying really cool, interesting, like, animated techniques and they got, like, cool, like. . .

[24:34] Well, sure, yeah, that's the good version of Cats.

[24:36] That would have been awesome.

[24:37] Like, there are ways to have done this in a way that would have been a really good movie.

[24:42] It's just weird that Tom Hooper was like, I have an idea of, like, a weird narrative to lay over this, but I don't have any other vision.

[24:51] Well, that's what. . .

[24:52] I mean. . .

[24:53] That plays into my theory, which was just, like, the problem with this is, like, each successive medium this material is given to us is less appropriate for what it is.

[25:05] Like, it starts out. . .

[25:06] Until the VR performance version.

[25:07] It starts out about. . .

[25:08] Soon?

[25:09] Well, it starts out these poems of, like, these whimsical, like, character studies of cats.

[25:13] And it's like, OK, whimsical poems about cats.

[25:16] That makes sense.

[25:17] And then they're like, oh, let's make a musical out of it.

[25:19] I'm like, that makes less sense, but I guess you could do, like, a review and, like, you know, the theatricality of being cats would work on the stage.

[25:29] And then they're like, let's make a big blockbuster movie about it, which is the worst thing to do with the material because, like, blockbuster filmmaking now is so literal.

[25:36] So, of course, they're going to be like, how do we make them look like real cats?

[25:39] Yeah.

[25:40] How do we, like, put a story in here?

[25:42] And next it'll be the Netflix series where it's a 10-episode season and they've got to, like, stretch that story out and everything.

[25:48] Yeah.

[25:49] Yeah.

[25:50] So, guys. . .

[25:51] I mean, this was. . .

[25:52] Go on.

[25:53] I was just going to say, this is more or less high-budget hentai.

[25:57] That is what they succeeded in making.

[25:59] So. . .

[26:00] So, guys, what's a Jellicle Cat?

[26:03] Yeah.

[26:04] Well, they spent the whole song asking questions of what the Jellicle Cat is because Victoria has appeared.

[26:10] Victoria has been abandoned by her, quote, unquote, family, or we don't know.

[26:15] And then all of these horrible to look at CGI cats start just talking to her and screaming things about Jellicle Cats, asking her if she's a Jellicle Cat.

[26:26] And they're getting increasingly frantic and shrill over the course of the song.

[26:30] And she doesn't know she is a Jellicle Cat yet because in the musical they're all Jellicle Cats.

[26:37] And we're like, all cats are Jellicle Cats.

[26:39] And that's the whole thing.

[26:40] But in this it's like they're like the Jets and the Sharks.

[26:43] They're like – the Jellicle Cats are like a gang of cats, and she doesn't know if she's part of it.

[26:48] Here's the way I understood it was Jellicle Cats are like the mutants of cats.

[26:54] They've all got special powers, and there's good Jellicles and bad Jellicles.

[26:57] And they even like – the way that the X-Men and their villains fight each other, but then they'll occasionally team up because they're all mutants.

[27:03] So, like, that's what a Jellicle is.

[27:05] It's just like a cat that was born with a special extra power.

[27:08] For instance, some of them cause mischief but never get caught.

[27:11] And another one causes mischief and never gets caught.

[27:14] And yet another one does mischief but never gets caught.

[27:17] And another one works on a train.

[27:19] My thing about – like, all these – everyone says – always says, like, oh, they don't tell you what Jellicle means.

[27:25] And I think it's something more –

[27:27] Everyone always says that to you.

[27:28] They spend most of the movie telling you that.

[27:29] Oh, goddammit.

[27:30] Let me get my thing out.

[27:31] But that is like an old theater thing.

[27:32] One of the, like, big jokes, the standard jokes about cats is like, oh, they say Jellicle all the time, but they don't say what it means.

[27:37] And, like, it's more insidious than that.

[27:39] Like, they never stop telling you what it means, but everything they say it means is just a thing that a normal cat does.

[27:47] That a normal cat does. Correct.

[27:48] So you're like, wait, what makes it special?

[27:51] Because the actual definition of Jellicle cat in T.S. Eliot's version of it was it was just how his niece tried to say dear little cat.

[28:01] It was just her, like, little speech impediment mispronunciation of dear little cat, which is a thing she heard, like, adults say.

[28:08] And she tried to say it, and so it was Jellicle.

[28:10] And then that comes back, spoiler alert, at the end of the movie after the movie thinks that the storyline we all care about is will Victoria become a Jellicle cat or not.

[28:21] And so finally at the very end of the movie, after Jennifer Hudson is blown off in her little chandelier.

[28:29] Judy Dench turns to Victoria and she says, you truly are a Jellicle cat.

[28:37] And everyone in the theater usually is laughing too hard to know that right after that, Judy Dench says, a dear little cat.

[28:47] And then Jennifer Hudson finishes flying because she's flying forever.

[28:54] In our theater, when she announced Victoria was a Jellicle cat, like, people were freaking out.

[29:06] Some people started a wave.

[29:08] It was amazing.

[29:09] High-fiving each other.

[29:11] Somebody got up and yelled, she is not a Jellicle cat.

[29:15] I refuse to accept that.

[29:16] One guy stormed out.

[29:17] He's like, I got to call my mom.

[29:19] My fan fiction says she was a Jellicle.

[29:22] Yes, but basically that's the plot that is introduced at the beginning of the movie in the song.

[29:27] Jellicle cats is like now the storyline of this thing before the cat pageant of it all is will Victoria be able to join the Jellicle cats?

[29:37] And at the end of Jellicle cats, like everyone sort of scatters.

[29:40] And Victoria does the thing where she's still singing the song, but everyone else is gone.

[29:45] You just learned it.

[29:47] And that's when she turns and sees that Angelical Houston herself is standing there.

[29:52] But then Macavity appears and Macavity is like, oh, the ball could get dangerous.

[29:57] And then he disappears himself in a puff of smoke.

[30:00] The first time, the first time he says, magic, as he leaves.

[30:03] Just to tell you what you saw.

[30:06] So after that first crazy song, you're like,

[30:08] oh, this is probably going to calm down and make a lot of sense.

[30:10] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[30:11] And then the immediate next song.

[30:13] Because the first song has like a-

[30:15] You're like, I think I know enough about cats now.

[30:17] And then all the cats come back and they're like,

[30:18] cats have three names, let me tell you about that.

[30:20] Yes, and the second song, like,

[30:22] is the scariest part of the whole movie for me.

[30:27] Like, it really is the boat ride from Willy Wonka,

[30:29] writ large, in my estimation,

[30:31] because it's just like weird talking.

[30:34] And then it ends with the word ineffable,

[30:36] which becomes a huge part of this movie as well.

[30:40] The word ineffable.

[30:41] Yeah, what was that about?

[30:43] As a concept.

[30:45] There's sexy dancing during that part as well.

[30:49] And then MonkaStrap, the narrator cat,

[30:54] comes forward and is like,

[30:55] I'm going to do a film.

[30:56] Yeah, yes.

[30:58] But is this where he's like,

[30:59] I'm going to introduce you to some jellicle cats.

[31:02] I'm going to introduce you to some specific person.

[31:04] He says, are you going to come to the jellicle ball?

[31:05] And she's like, what's the jellicle ball?

[31:07] And then he says, the jellicle ball

[31:10] is where old Deuteronomy decides

[31:12] who will be granted a new life.

[31:15] And she's like, how does she decide?

[31:17] And then MonkaStrap says,

[31:19] each cat will sing a song of themselves,

[31:22] who they are and what they do.

[31:24] And at this point, my boyfriend leans over to me

[31:26] and goes, okay, dramaturgy slay.

[31:29] Because that's never explicated like that

[31:34] in the show either.

[31:35] Like everyone just sort of starts saying,

[31:36] here is who I am and what I do.

[31:39] But to have Tom Hooper add a dialogue into the movie,

[31:43] to think that that will make everything clearer

[31:45] when all it does is just sort of muddy the waters

[31:48] even more of like, oh, now that they're talking,

[31:51] is this supposed to be naturalistic dialogue?

[31:54] What's going on?

[31:55] But just who they are and what they do.

[31:58] Point of order.

[32:00] Yes, the chair recognizes Jenny.

[32:02] Thank you.

[32:04] They all start introducing themselves via song

[32:06] before they're at any kind of recognizable ball.

[32:09] And they frequently do it without old Deuteronomy present.

[32:12] Yes, it's like dress rehearsal.

[32:14] Why are they blowing it right now?

[32:16] Right?

[32:17] They're just doing it at Victoria, who's like a nobody.

[32:19] Why are they like completely wasting their song?

[32:22] Yeah, you need to be marking.

[32:24] That's my biggest problem.

[32:25] Everyone needs to be marking their songs

[32:27] because they're going to blow out their voices

[32:28] before old Deuteronomy gets there

[32:30] and is actually able to make a choice.

[32:32] And I want to say something about the structure

[32:33] and Elliot, you sort of fainted at it earlier,

[32:38] but I just want to say, so as we've said,

[32:40] basically every song is either,

[32:43] let me tell you about myself

[32:44] or here, let me tell you about this guy.

[32:47] And like-

[32:49] Or occasionally, let me tell you about cats.

[32:51] Yeah.

[32:52] And you can like logically know

[32:54] that that's the deal behind the movie Cats

[32:57] before going in and being like,

[32:58] okay, well, you know, my brain can handle that.

[33:01] But then once you go see it in a big budget movie,

[33:03] it feels so strange because it's like,

[33:06] it's like the first act of a movie never ends.

[33:09] Like they just keep like introducing a new character.

[33:11] Like, oh yeah, you know what, that guy,

[33:13] don't worry about him.

[33:13] How about her?

[33:14] Like, and they just keep introducing new characters.

[33:17] And then there's no second act.

[33:18] And then there's like 15 minutes of third act

[33:21] at the very end.

[33:22] Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like,

[33:24] it's kind of like Suicide Squad,

[33:26] which where like every 15 minutes

[33:28] they reintroduce all the characters with a musical sting.

[33:31] Although this is the better version of that.

[33:34] Judi Dench constantly was sending dead animals.

[33:39] Similar to Suicide Squad on the same level,

[33:42] it's like a movie version of,

[33:43] it's Italo Calvino's Ifana Winter's Night of Traveler,

[33:47] where every other chapter is a new first chapter

[33:49] to the story.

[33:50] And you're trying to find the second chapter.

[33:52] That's what Cats is like.

[33:53] And it's, you're right, Dan,

[33:54] because it's like, okay, we're at the Jellicle Ball.

[33:56] We've met all the cats.

[33:57] Now she's going to make her decision.

[33:59] Oh, here's Skimbleshanks.

[34:00] We've never seen him before, have we?

[34:01] Here's Bumbleore, he's going to tell us about Macavity.

[34:05] We already know about,

[34:06] but I don't know why he's not singing about himself.

[34:08] And it's weird because most of these characters as well,

[34:10] you don't see again, really.

[34:12] Yeah, you don't see them before or after.

[34:16] Elliot turned to me like a few times

[34:18] and was like, we are 10 minutes in or two hours in.

[34:21] I have no idea.

[34:23] There's truly no way of knowing.

[34:25] I want to admit this,

[34:27] you in no way need this to enjoy this movie.

[34:32] And if you have a problem with substances,

[34:34] you probably shouldn't.

[34:35] But I had an edible before seeing this movie.

[34:37] You don't need it.

[34:38] But I will say that the moment that I started giggling-

[34:41] Is that for a 420 screening we went to?

[34:43] Yeah, that's the-

[34:47] I think the programmer was having a laugh.

[34:49] The moment I first started giggling uncontrollably

[34:53] and just genuinely couldn't stop

[34:54] was thinking about these introductions

[34:58] and imagining if that's how life went for me.

[35:03] Like if I met a new person, they were like,

[35:05] hey, I'm Mumbly Peg, the skull re-human.

[35:09] What's your whole deal?

[35:10] My deal is this, I'll tell you for nine minutes.

[35:12] You'd be starting a new job and it'd be like,

[35:14] well, tell us about yourself, Dan.

[35:16] I'm Dan McCoy, a glum kind of fellow.

[35:18] Sometimes I'm angry and sometimes I'm an L-O-V-E.

[35:21] Yes, perfect, that's what we want.

[35:22] Not to stop you, you don't have to tell me your extra,

[35:25] I already know it.

[35:27] The thing about all these cats

[35:29] is that they can tell us whatever they want.

[35:31] As far as we've been shown and not told,

[35:33] they are exclusively self-introduction cats.

[35:37] That's all they do.

[35:38] Also, I'll say, if you don't do edibles often,

[35:42] I took an edible the second time I saw it.

[35:45] When it all hits you at once,

[35:48] for me, personally, I just became very aware

[35:52] of my mortality.

[35:54] And I just, yes, and I just sort of was like,

[35:59] oh my God, I'm gonna die from being too high at cats.

[36:02] And that's what my family is gonna have to say

[36:04] at my funeral.

[36:05] They're gonna say she was too high at cats

[36:07] and she died from it.

[36:09] You're like, I think I'm gonna not survive

[36:11] the next time that Rebel Wilson,

[36:13] as Jenny AnyDots, scratches her crotch on camera.

[36:16] Or I don't think I'm gonna survive

[36:17] when Chekhov's skin-suit.

[36:21] So let's go to her.

[36:23] So they're talking, they're like,

[36:24] let's meet some other cats.

[36:25] Yes.

[36:26] And I think her introduction is basically like,

[36:29] do you wanna see one of the cats

[36:31] that's getting ready for the ball?

[36:32] And then we go to Rebel Wilson,

[36:34] who is a Gumby cat,

[36:36] which they never really say what that means,

[36:38] other than that she hangs out during the day

[36:41] and everyone thinks she's lazy.

[36:43] And then when everyone goes to sleep,

[36:44] she recruits all of the mice and the beetles

[36:47] to be like a little servant fleet for her.

[36:52] And she teaches them how to sing and dance,

[36:53] and she manages to make a dance troupe

[36:56] out of some child mice,

[36:58] and this is the most disturbing visual of the whole thing.

[37:00] The mice are too small compared to how big

[37:03] the cats are in this part.

[37:05] So bizarre.

[37:06] And I was like, so she goes to like a stove or something?

[37:09] So wait a minute, they all have human faces.

[37:13] What do humans look like?

[37:17] What if they went to a statue

[37:18] and the human had like a monster face?

[37:21] Oh yeah, it's Eye of the Beholder.

[37:22] It's the Twilight Zone Eye of the Beholder.

[37:26] And I kept thinking of the lady in Eraserhead

[37:29] who lives in the radiator and sings the Heaven Song,

[37:32] and I was like, I will show that to my son

[37:34] before I show him these weird baby mice

[37:35] that live in a stove.

[37:37] Well, there's sequences in this where like,

[37:40] they've just superimposed a strip of these people

[37:44] in CGI cockroach costumes marching across the screen,

[37:47] and then you have these giant big cat heads in back,

[37:50] like that's the back layer of it,

[37:52] and it's as wacky and as like sort of collage-y an image

[37:55] as you would see in like House Sue or something.

[37:58] It's just mind-blowingly strange to look at.

[38:01] So the movie continues to be on hard mode.

[38:05] Yeah.

[38:06] Can we talk about just a second,

[38:08] the shot when she like, the Beatles come out

[38:11] and then it randomly goes upside down

[38:14] in this way that feels very like eighth grader

[38:16] doing his first like film project.

[38:19] Yeah, no, it's like an 80s video.

[38:21] There's a scene where she is singing into something,

[38:25] and I can't tell, is it a tail?

[38:27] Is it a length of intestine?

[38:29] It's pink.

[38:31] I don't know what's going on.

[38:34] She sings into her tail later

[38:35] and it looks different from what that is.

[38:38] It looks like an umbilical cord.

[38:39] The rest of the movie, I was like looking for this pink cat.

[38:44] Yeah, there's a real Tetsuo the Iron Man feel

[38:46] to this whole sequence, culminating when she unzips her skin

[38:50] and underneath is wearing like a music note sequined vest

[38:53] and hot pants, and it's like, whose skin were you wearing?

[39:00] Was it your sister, Jenny, when we walked out

[39:02] who was like, oh, she's like Buffalo Bill

[39:04] and she kills other cats?

[39:06] You know what, I guess that's the second way to skin a cat.

[39:09] I've always been told there's more than one,

[39:11] but it really seemed like there was just one way,

[39:13] but I guess.

[39:15] Now, of course, we move on from that musical number

[39:19] to the plot, which is that Rum Tum Tugger

[39:21] is also in the movie.

[39:24] Jason Derulo appears and he says,

[39:27] that was boring, it's pretty old fashioned.

[39:30] He has a British accent,

[39:31] because all of them have to have British accents.

[39:33] You know what, I loved what he was doing.

[39:35] Honestly, I did too.

[39:36] I loved that arrangement of Rum Tum Tugger

[39:39] as like sort of a prince vibe.

[39:41] I did too.

[39:41] Like James Brownie, like a little bit of that.

[39:44] I like, it was weird though.

[39:46] Nothing better.

[39:48] Yeah, and then he starts pouring cream all over everybody.

[39:50] All over the women.

[39:52] Yeah, he takes them all to a milk bar

[39:54] and all of a sudden all of these cats

[39:55] are just writhing under milk hoses.

[39:59] Guzzling milk like.

[40:00] Luke Skywalker and his hermitage.

[40:02] It's just like, it's just getting all in their fur,

[40:04] it must be so gross.

[40:05] Oh man, it's so great, and it's so bad for cats,

[40:07] but whatever, they love it.

[40:08] And the thing is, there was,

[40:11] is this where we should talk about

[40:12] how they minimized all the actors' crotch areas?

[40:16] Yeah, I think Jason Derulo was the proper way to, yeah.

[40:19] He was the one who famously argued

[40:20] that they shrink his bulge, which, thank God.

[40:25] Yeah, because it's too big.

[40:26] Based on that Instagram photo of him.

[40:28] Like, try to make them less sexual is all I'm saying,

[40:31] because there's enough stuff moving in my face.

[40:34] No, clearly, clearly, Tom Hooper is a butt guy,

[40:38] because all sorts of crotchal or chestal genitalia

[40:42] or secondary sex characteristics

[40:44] has been shrunk to almost non-existence,

[40:46] so that we can focus more on the double moons

[40:48] of their butts just bobbing up and down

[40:50] in front of the camera constantly.

[40:52] Yeah.

[40:53] Tons of butt stuff,

[40:55] and then in the middle of Rum Tum Tugger,

[40:57] when Victoria, like, does her leg extension at him,

[41:01] and there's just a close-up of him staring at her foot,

[41:04] and then it goes back to the,

[41:06] like, the camera cuts away from that

[41:08] and then goes back to her foot in his face

[41:12] as he's singing Victoria.

[41:13] When he had to suck her toes, that was a lot.

[41:16] Yes. Yes.

[41:17] It was very Tarantino.

[41:18] Now, we said that we liked the arrangement here,

[41:21] but I do have to say something about the music,

[41:23] and that is that, you know,

[41:25] I know Elliot is a proponent of Jesus Christ Superstar.

[41:28] I am not a big Andrew Lloyd Webber fan in general.

[41:31] I think Jesus Christ Superstar is the only Andrew Lloyd Webber

[41:34] I can legitimately say I love.

[41:35] Yeah. Yes.

[41:37] I think that there are some good songs in this show.

[41:41] I mean, at least, like, the melodies are catchy,

[41:43] but for me, that's cheating.

[41:45] Some of them are just, like, this is just some words.

[41:48] Yeah, no, I agree, but, like, the instrumentation,

[41:51] like, this is, like, such an expensive movie,

[41:55] but the way they do it, it sounds like a carousel

[41:58] is farting on a synthesizer.

[41:59] Like, it's, like, warping, warping, warping, warping,

[42:01] warping, warping, warping, warping, warping, warping.

[42:04] I really admire that they kept the electronic synth sound

[42:08] in so much because, like, that set,

[42:10] not having seen Cats on Stage, again,

[42:11] only knowing it from the TV commercials,

[42:13] that says cats to me, like, that 80s synth sound,

[42:16] and, like, I'm like, you know what?

[42:18] I'm sure there would be a lot of mad musical theater people

[42:20] if you took the synths out of Cats.

[42:22] And I will say, I'm gonna drop a name,

[42:24] that is exactly what Mr. Lin-Manuel Miranda said

[42:27] when it started.

[42:28] He was like, I'm so glad that they're doing

[42:29] all of the synths, I'm so glad.

[42:31] Because it doesn't sound, I feel like, weirdly,

[42:34] this score is, like, such a product of 1982

[42:40] that to try and, like, beef it up,

[42:43] I feel like that would sound weirder, almost,

[42:46] if they rearranged the orchestrations to be,

[42:51] not synth-heavy at all.

[42:52] If they, like, tried to make them fancier.

[42:56] Yeah, I'm gonna say two words, auto-tuned Cats.

[42:58] We don't need that.

[42:59] I'm glad that they didn't do any of that stuff.

[43:00] They didn't modernize it too much.

[43:02] There's a, I have a question,

[43:04] or just, I have another point,

[43:05] because we brushed by this,

[43:07] and I'm sorry to derail the conversation,

[43:09] but it's bothering me.

[43:12] The Milk Bar, they're in London.

[43:16] Yes.

[43:17] They're also in an all-Cats world.

[43:20] Yeah, well, the signs are Cat pens.

[43:22] There's a Catsino across the street.

[43:24] And there's wanted posters for Macavity.

[43:29] Right, but they were Moriarty during the day.

[43:32] During the day, they were Moriarty.

[43:34] I think, though, because it's Moriarty,

[43:37] and then it goes dark in the middle of Jellicle songs,

[43:40] and then it kicks back, and it's Macavity.

[43:42] So I think, in the world of Cats,

[43:44] we're supposed to believe that after dark,

[43:48] it becomes Cat world.

[43:49] Wait, but during the day, Sherlock Holmes is real?

[43:52] Well, that's another nod to the T.S. Eliot stuff.

[43:55] I was doing my research a little bit, too,

[43:57] because I'm just, I was like,

[43:58] I didn't realize how in-depth

[43:59] the Wikipedia article's on almost every cat,

[44:01] except Bustopher Jones,

[44:02] who does not get his own Wikipedia article,

[44:03] which is crazy.

[44:04] No, he's just a cat who likes to eat garbage.

[44:07] That Macavity was very much T.S. Eliot's play on Moriarty.

[44:11] Like, that's his joke.

[44:12] He was inspired by Moriarty for that character.

[44:15] And so, like, to have a Moriarty poster

[44:16] become a Macavity poster, it's another little wink

[44:18] to the people who know the Cats story.

[44:20] Oh, right, because Moriarty's always doing crimes,

[44:22] then going, crime!

[44:23] Yeah, and it's all based on the old Sherlock story,

[44:27] The Case of the Disappearing Dust Dude.

[44:31] And also, Moriarty's body is covered in fur,

[44:33] and he has no penis, yeah.

[44:34] Can I say one more thing about the music?

[44:37] It's your podcast, man, go ahead.

[44:38] Is that I do think that the way everything

[44:42] is mixed together, I don't know what it is.

[44:46] I think it's partly the singing,

[44:47] partly T.S. Eliot's poetic language,

[44:50] a lot of which is kept.

[44:52] I can't understand a lot of what the Cats are singing.

[44:55] No, never.

[44:56] So, like, their whole deal is, like,

[44:58] let me tell you about you,

[44:59] but I just have to guess from the visions

[45:03] of what I'm seeing visually on the screen.

[45:06] Yeah, it's very hard to make out the lyrics

[45:07] a lot of the times.

[45:08] You're just seeing, like, Rum Tum Tugger

[45:10] just kind of, like, dancing,

[45:11] and Girl Cat's going, ah,

[45:12] and I'm like, I guess he's a Don Juan cat, huh?

[45:14] Yeah, I mean, that's the thing.

[45:15] They all have, like, one thing,

[45:17] so you get what it is, but it's still.

[45:20] I really can't wait for the,

[45:22] I really can't wait for this to hit streaming

[45:24] so you can just slap on those closed captions.

[45:27] Now, I'm gonna correct something I said earlier.

[45:29] I said that the best part is the transition

[45:31] between Rum Tum Tugger and Bustopher Jones.

[45:33] Looking back on my notes, I somehow forgot

[45:35] that Grizabella shows up between those two characters.

[45:37] She does, indeed.

[45:38] And sings the little, like,

[45:39] condensed early version of Memories

[45:41] just to give us a taste of it, right?

[45:42] Yes, well, she, I think this is actually

[45:44] not the pre-priese of Memory.

[45:45] I think when she first appears,

[45:47] this is the weird recitative moment

[45:49] where she's like, she walks and she's doing a thing,

[45:53] and her eye twists, and she.

[45:56] Yeah, yeah.

[45:57] Natalie, I'm very curious.

[45:58] Is pre-priese an actual word?

[45:59] Because that's what I wrote in my notes,

[46:01] but I didn't know whether it.

[46:02] I think that's how I've always heard it referred to.

[46:06] Interesting.

[46:07] I think you just know things, Dan.

[46:08] Oh, wow.

[46:09] Great.

[46:10] And so, why do the other cats not like Grizabella?

[46:12] Just because she has the stink of failure about her,

[46:14] or is there?

[46:14] No, it's the double snot rivulets.

[46:15] She does have two rivers of snot down her nose.

[46:18] She was a sex worker with Macavity.

[46:20] Under Macavity, I feel like that's the vibe

[46:22] that they were trying to get,

[46:24] is that she went off with Macavity.

[46:27] She was the glamour cat,

[46:30] which I don't know what her job was

[46:31] even when she was the glamour cat,

[46:34] because they used to be like, she was the glamour cat,

[46:36] then she fell on hard times, and yeah.

[46:39] As glamour cat, she was the cat

[46:41] in the Fancy Feast commercial

[46:42] who ate out of the crystal goblet,

[46:44] and that's what her song would have been about.

[46:46] I'm the glamour cat, eating out of crystal.

[46:48] Everybody pissed still. Top that.

[46:51] You know-

[46:52] This falls into my other favorite Angeloy Webber thing,

[46:55] which is the part in Rainbow High

[46:56] where people just list whatever they're gonna do

[46:58] for Ava Perot, and one of them just goes, glamour.

[47:02] Yes, and also someone in Rainbow High just goes, magic,

[47:05] and I'm like, when does Ava Perot learn magic?

[47:09] What's that?

[47:09] She's doing sleight of hand.

[47:11] I don't know what's going on.

[47:13] So I really wanted the moment where Victoria,

[47:15] like, Victoria clearly telegraphed,

[47:18] she's gonna be the one who allows

[47:19] Grizabella to redeem herself, because she is nice,

[47:22] but I wanted everyone to be like, no, don't you get it?

[47:25] Grizabella was Hitler's cat.

[47:26] That's why we don't know this.

[47:28] You don't know everything about Grizabella.

[47:30] You just got here.

[47:31] Is this when Victoria sings the new song?

[47:33] No. Okay.

[47:34] No, no, that's much later.

[47:35] But this is when they force Jennifer Hudson to crawl away,

[47:41] even though no one has been crawling.

[47:44] You know, a lot of people talk about how she's, like,

[47:46] snotty while she's singing.

[47:47] I love it.

[47:48] And, like, that, you know, I mean,

[47:50] she does an amazing job singing.

[47:52] I'm not, like, she's great at it,

[47:54] but, like, I do think that Tom Holland has made,

[47:57] or Hooper, sorry, I keep doing that.

[47:59] Although you can drag him into this, why not?

[48:01] Maybe Tom Holland stopped by for the day

[48:03] and Tom Hooper played Spider-Man for a day.

[48:05] I do think this is a directorial choice from Tom Hooper,

[48:08] who's probably like, okay,

[48:10] the one thing that everyone thought was great in my Les Mis

[48:14] was that Anne Hathaway was crying so much

[48:17] singing I Dreamed a Dream.

[48:18] So we gotta really cry up this memory.

[48:20] Like, we gotta put a bunch of snot on her.

[48:22] And people love it, the Viola Davis moment,

[48:24] because Lynn turned to me and was like, her snot?

[48:27] And I was like, yeah,

[48:28] they're giving her a Viola Davis moment.

[48:30] It's just that this movie is bad,

[48:32] and so every, like, little minute detail

[48:37] we are, like, dissecting.

[48:38] But I weirdly think that if this movie

[48:40] were being generally perceived as good,

[48:43] we would love her snot and be like,

[48:45] oh, she's so raw and in it and, like, doing things.

[48:49] Here's why I disagree.

[48:50] I think you're right if it was real snot.

[48:52] I kinda suspect it's CGI snot.

[48:55] Ooh!

[48:56] It is such perfect dual twin rivulets down her face

[49:00] in a way that I've never seen in a human being.

[49:02] And I'm like, I think they put some computer snot

[49:04] on her face to make it, like, look more raw.

[49:06] Oh, that would bum me out so hard.

[49:09] Well, all of our VFX listeners,

[49:11] please chime in and let us know.

[49:14] And again, I'm talking completely, I have no idea.

[49:16] I'm not a VFX cat, so I don't know particularly, but.

[49:19] While we're back to the CGI mistake,

[49:21] there was something that I forgot I wanted to say before,

[49:23] which is that, like, you know,

[49:25] there's a lot of dancing in this movie,

[49:27] a lot of, like, people doing real dancing

[49:29] who, like, I presume at the time were on set

[49:31] doing amazing things with their bodies,

[49:33] but then they paint a bunch of CGI fur over it

[49:36] and it all looks like it's just badly rendered animation.

[49:40] You know, like, it immediately ruins

[49:42] the work of those dancers.

[49:43] You're just like, oh, that looks so fake and weird.

[49:45] I don't know necessarily,

[49:46] because there were two sequences in the movie

[49:48] when we went to see it.

[49:49] Jenny and I just saw it last night.

[49:51] There were two sequences when the audience stopped laughing

[49:54] and it was just the silence of an entertained audience,

[49:56] and those were both big dance numbers.

[49:59] And I'm like.

[50:00] There was there were those there were a couple moments where I was like, this is really good dancing

[50:03] And if they had just let the dancing

[50:10] And the other one was there's a long wordless dance when the jellicle ball is starting and it starts out funny

[50:16] And then you're like, oh no, like these are really good dancers that are all like taking their turn dancing

[50:21] Yeah, and it's like oh, this is good. Like dance is powerful. I was like, oh this movie shouldn't have words in it

[50:27] But also those are both specifically more grounded dance sequences than a lot of the ones yes, they're not leaping around through the area

[50:36] Jellicle ball when it starts it's like shot and the CGI is in a way where it looks like they're floating

[50:42] And so it feels really CGI, but then it gets to a point in it

[50:46] We're then like late twins are in like sneakers for their featured moment of it

[50:52] And then it feels really real because obviously like they have shoes on they're on the floor

[50:56] So all of this is like them doing these things and and then after that it got it gets a little more grounded

[51:03] But I feel like it's whenever it's the cats at the whims of Tom Hooper's CGI

[51:08] Yeah, it looks so fake that you're like, this isn't dance anymore

[51:12] Yeah, it starts it starts to it starts to be like the old man character from the Six Flags commercials

[51:18] Oh, you're just like this isn't how this guy would really dance

[51:20] There will be moments where like they have people doing stuff that they couldn't do in life

[51:27] and they've just like mapped a face on to something and like that face like like sort of shimmies around where it should be but

[51:33] It's never quite. Yeah at the right place. Yes, it kind of swims around the head

[51:37] Yeah, like the yeah, like what in Zadowichi the blind swordsman. Yeah, or when Christopher Lee battled Yoda those times

[51:48] So

[51:51] After Grizabella is banished by the group Macavity appears in magic's the way rebel Wilson

[51:57] Poofs her into dust. We don't know where she went yet. And then James Corden

[52:02] Big song about how he loves to be fat and eat trash

[52:09] A real opportunity here to do the thing that Heathcliff would do where he would take a whole fish and put it in his mouth

[52:15] And then pull out just the bones

[52:18] Come on that I also like what to say that when you know rebel rebel Jones and James Corden have a lot of moments

[52:25] Rebel Jones

[52:26] Did you combine her with Felicity Jones?

[52:30] Rebel Wilson and James Corden have a lot of moments in this where they are clearly like just ad-libbing a joke and

[52:38] They'll do this joke and the camera will just hang on them

[52:41] For a while

[52:45] In an audience full of people, yeah, exactly

[52:47] It's just gonna be wave after wave of laughter and you don't want them to miss any of those

[52:51] Yeah, they don't they want the laughter to step on the very well enunciated lyrics. They're about to show up

[52:57] and

[52:58] And then and then Macavity takes Bustopher Jones

[53:01] Yeah, he takes Bustopher in a way where he appears with more trash food in a garbage can and like

[53:08] Even though Bustopher has just eaten so much trash

[53:15] So much more sumptuous and so he disappears into it and I think this one Macavity just says meow

[53:28] Yeah, I actually I actually got a check in the mail from Tom Hoover

[53:34] And now that now that we've established Macavity is stealing these cats

[53:37] It's time for the plot to start time to get on the hunt and stop Macavity from kidnapping any more cats, right?

[53:55] Not to pump the brakes too much on this on this roaring terrain of a podcast

[54:00] But at this point during Bustopher Jones song

[54:03] We actually see rum-tum-tugger who had introduced himself previously and he had run away

[54:08] Do you think he was running away from Macavity? So he didn't get dusted like he's the only one

[54:14] He's the only cat who he's the only jellicle cat who introduced himself and doesn't get disappeared. What do you think gang?

[54:22] I think you put more thought into it Stewart than anyone

[54:31] As long as we're talking Macavity, I do want to say that Idris Elba has been handed a thankless chore

[54:46] Those Macavity talking dolls they need things for it to say when you pull the string

[54:51] So at the end of Bustopher after

[54:55] Bustopher has been disappeared by Macavity all of the other cats have sort of scattered and once again

[54:59] Victoria is sort of alone and the only people she's left with the only cats

[55:03] She is left with our mongo Jerry and rumple teaser who like sort of take her under their wing and say we're gonna show you

[55:08] Our little neck of the woods and they are house cats

[55:11] But they're terrors to the people who own them and they do a whole song. That's slinky

[55:20] No, it's very bad and this is a departure from the show version

[55:24] The show version is a big like vaudeville acrobatic number where they're doing they're doing like double cartwheels on each other

[55:31] They do like three cartwheels where they're holding each other's it's like a whole deal and I really recommend you watch it

[55:38] This is my biggest problem with this movie is that they changed this melody because this one is a funeral dirge pace

[55:46] Yeah, it is just so slow and it boring and and it it sounds weird each time they go mungo Jerry and

[55:54] rumple

[55:56] Teaser like they got they've got to try so hard to stretch out the word to match the

[56:04] Mungo Jerry to be like a Jason Statham type. So clearly like he just keeps being like, yeah, no pictures, right?

[56:11] This song did inspire the best

[56:14] Audience talk in my second screening and this is a two-part joke. So prepare yourself

[56:21] A woman yell just like an exasperation goes

[56:24] They're three inches tall

[56:27] Baseboard and there's a laugh and then she reconsiders and goes well six in Park Slope

[56:38] There's the moment so they're festooning

[56:41] Victoria with jewels and those those very jewels that she thought might buy her happiness instead form some kind of a cage

[56:50] Chain her to a bed

[56:53] So a sexual it's like a very Vicky Cristina Barcelona situation where like it's the part where Scarlett Johansson

[56:59] Becomes the third to Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz like they're clear

[57:03] I'm like, oh this is gonna be a no-go for you. And then as soon as there

[57:08] There comes the bark of a dog

[57:12] Obviously, the question is what does that fucking dog's face look like?

[57:16] Yeah, I had the same wonder does it look like a person too, or is it just a regular dog? Like, I don't know

[57:22] It's a reverse thing. It's a human body in a dog face

[57:28] Yeah, exactly

[57:30] Man, the um, the other thing is this is the scene where I think it really clicked into place

[57:35] How strange the proportions were because she's got like a watch as a collar, which okay

[57:40] I'll buy that for a cat, but she also has rings like human rings as bracelets

[57:46] Yes, and they're huge on her. Yes

[57:50] Like yeah, how big is that person's fingers? Yeah

[57:54] How small are their wrists? I think that if this was like a stage design idea

[58:00] On stage like okay

[58:02] We're gonna create this kind of fantastical world where like we're gonna have different stage like pieces be different sizes

[58:09] It's your classic Gilda Radner little girl type. Yeah, you know, that would be fine because it's like this fantastical, you know

[58:14] But like they're constantly

[58:16] Interacting with so much stuff with this movie and the problem is the audience knows what size a cat is

[58:23] cats and now they're

[58:26] Like you you expect at any moment a cat could fit through the eye through the shoelace hole of a shoe and then suddenly be

[58:33] As tall as a building we would be just like deal with it. Whatever

[58:37] three

[58:38] Instances where a character interacts with a fork every time the fork is a different side

[58:44] Come in different sizes Jenny. Oh, you're right. Oh, man. It was like a salad fork

[58:49] Those big serving forks and I'm like a trident that Poseidon left

[58:55] Yeah, there were just boots in a trident Poseidon was whisked away to the heavens

[59:02] cavity was like

[59:09] Chained to the door she cannot get out because as soon as the dog the threat of the dog

[59:13] Happens Mungojerry and Rumpelstiltskin just leave her they leave her and they're like bye-bye-bye and they just laugh and then

[59:20] Magical, mr. Mistoffelees appears because in this movie there's a love story between Victoria and magical

[59:27] Mr. Mistoffelees, which I'm fine with because I think magical. Mr. Mistoffelees in this movie is so hot

[59:33] He has like a Robert Pattinson as Cedric Diggory vibe like he doesn't know how hot he is yet

[59:38] You can tell he's a little weird out. He's also kind of dressed like Jesus and Godspell though

[59:45] Sounds like Godspell

[59:50] Rescues her by throwing by magicing a dog bone out of nowhere not the bone of a dog but

[1:00:00] to tell you that that's not actually the case.

[1:00:03] They like clearly wanted Eddie Redmayne for that part so bad.

[1:00:06] Of course.

[1:00:07] But like he is completely...

[1:00:09] Which is too bad because that's a great name for a cat in the movie.

[1:00:12] I'm Eddie Redmayne and I'm the cat that is okay in the one movie and then in other movies

[1:00:17] I'm not so good.

[1:00:18] Or Dom Nogleeson.

[1:00:19] He would have...

[1:00:20] No.

[1:00:21] That's a good cat name.

[1:00:22] Eddie Redmayne is just himself as a cat.

[1:00:28] After that is when we finally find out where McCavity has been taking all these cats, right?

[1:00:31] And I apologize if listeners can hear there's some crying going on outside the door due

[1:00:36] to a baby.

[1:00:37] But that's okay.

[1:00:38] Imagine those cries are from a dog barking at Victoria in Magical Mr. Metropolis.

[1:00:42] Just don't start imagining that that baby is a chicken and strangle it, Elliot.

[1:00:46] That's all I ask of you.

[1:00:47] Oh.

[1:00:48] Mash it?

[1:00:49] Yeah, okay.

[1:00:50] Yeah.

[1:00:51] Do a real farewell goodbye in there.

[1:00:52] So we go out to a barge on the Thames where McCavity has been magic-ing.

[1:00:59] His competition for the Jellicle Ball.

[1:01:00] And we find out that that is the reason he has been magic-ing in the way.

[1:01:03] He wants to be the one that is chosen to go to the Heaviside Layer and he wants to make

[1:01:07] sure that all the competition is being wiped out.

[1:01:10] The what?

[1:01:11] Oh.

[1:01:12] The Heaviside Layer.

[1:01:13] Okay.

[1:01:14] What's that?

[1:01:15] It's where the cats go to be granted a new life.

[1:01:19] It is death, I believe.

[1:01:21] They're just flying up there.

[1:01:24] But they believe they will be granted a new life.

[1:01:26] It's very sort of Heaven's Gate cult vibes.

[1:01:28] Oh, okay.

[1:01:29] Cool.

[1:01:30] They're going to get their long new balances.

[1:01:31] Very popular in the 70s.

[1:01:32] It's going to be incredible.

[1:01:36] But yeah, we find that out.

[1:01:38] Rebel Wilson and James Corden are there together so that they can do a tag team ad-lib situation.

[1:01:46] But then we get to meet Grell Tiger, the most unexpected song of the night.

[1:01:51] My favorite song in the entire thing.

[1:01:54] Yes.

[1:01:55] And it is 20 seconds long because he says, like, to destroy my evil limbs on the Jordan

[1:02:03] of the times.

[1:02:05] And then it's immediately stopped by James Corden going, and I think it's Thames.

[1:02:10] It's Thames.

[1:02:11] That doesn't rhyme.

[1:02:12] See?

[1:02:13] And then the whole thing is stopped.

[1:02:15] But then James Corden gets his little head bored into by Grell Tiger.

[1:02:24] And it's a delight.

[1:02:26] Grell Tiger's song is like four minutes long in the stage version, but I just love that

[1:02:32] they just completely abandoned that.

[1:02:34] Also I will say, apparently a bit of James Corden ad-lib, like the best bit of James

[1:02:39] Corden ad-lib got deleted from the movie, which is that apparently his biggest ad-lib

[1:02:45] right after Grell Tiger started doing that is that he went, wait, are you just introducing

[1:02:50] yourself?

[1:02:51] I just did that.

[1:02:52] They wouldn't leave it.

[1:02:54] Just sort of upset the entire world.

[1:03:00] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:03:01] They'd be worried that people would be struck from their cat's reverie and stumble out of

[1:03:06] the theater immediately.

[1:03:07] Taken out of the world.

[1:03:09] So we now know where they're being magicked off to.

[1:03:13] We go back to Victoria.

[1:03:14] Victoria has been rescued by Mystopheles.

[1:03:17] He takes her back to Mica Strat, the narrator cat, who is boring and has no discerning qualities.

[1:03:21] And Mica Strat is like, where have you been?

[1:03:24] And old Deuteronomy is almost here.

[1:03:28] And baby, there's a fog.

[1:03:30] And coming through that fog is Ms. Judi Dench, Dame Judi Dench.

[1:03:35] She is appearing.

[1:03:37] And when it pans out and you see her little legs, it's so upsetting.

[1:03:41] It's really upsetting.

[1:03:43] Her human hand with a wedding ring on it is in full view.

[1:03:48] It should be like an epic moment.

[1:03:50] But then they cut back and show you how tiny she is and how much distance she has to walk.

[1:03:54] And then you're like, so is everybody just standing around watching this old movie?

[1:03:58] And what a giant fur coat she's wearing.

[1:04:00] Yes, yes.

[1:04:01] And this is also the first time where I noticed how weird the sound mixing of the movie is.

[1:04:05] Because they will randomly...

[1:04:07] Tom Hooper is so obsessed with reaction close-ups of people.

[1:04:11] But then he will have the sound mixing also turn up their weird harmony line.

[1:04:16] So, like, you're watching MonkaStrap greet old Deuteronomy.

[1:04:21] But his part is this weird tenor line.

[1:04:23] And it's just like...

[1:04:25] Just don't turn his up in the mix.

[1:04:28] Just keep it.

[1:04:29] It's a group number.

[1:04:30] Chill out.

[1:04:31] Mr. Mistoffelees.

[1:04:32] When Rum Tum Tugger is like...

[1:04:34] Yes, yes.

[1:04:36] He makes the strangest tenor line.

[1:04:39] He did the strangest thing in the first song.

[1:04:42] The Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats.

[1:04:44] They would just cut abruptly to someone else singing in a completely different style.

[1:04:49] Very quickly.

[1:04:50] And then back to the main melody.

[1:04:53] And it's like this Moulin Rouge frenzy.

[1:04:56] My favorite part of Jellicle songs is when they do the...

[1:05:00] Two others who do.

[1:05:02] And then it cuts to Idris Elba.

[1:05:04] And he just goes...

[1:05:06] What?

[1:05:07] What?

[1:05:08] And you think for a second.

[1:05:10] Because then the continuation of the thought is like...

[1:05:13] Two others who do what Jellicles can and Jellicles do.

[1:05:17] But instead it just feels like there's a huge ensemble moment.

[1:05:20] And then Idris Elba just goes...

[1:05:22] What?

[1:05:23] It feels like Idris Elba has stumbled on the movie that he's in.

[1:05:26] And he's like...

[1:05:27] Hold on a second.

[1:05:28] It's like...

[1:05:29] Oh, that's the audience.

[1:05:30] Yes.

[1:05:31] Absolutely.

[1:05:32] Yeah.

[1:05:33] The audience is taking cats away after they've been introduced.

[1:05:37] So we're finally at the Jellicle ball at this point.

[1:05:39] We're finally at the Jellicle ball.

[1:05:41] But they weren't all Jellicle balling before?

[1:05:44] Nope.

[1:05:45] Why were they introducing themselves to get to the Heaviside lair?

[1:05:48] It wasn't part of it.

[1:05:50] Practice makes perfect.

[1:05:52] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:05:53] How do you get to the Jellicle ball?

[1:05:55] That was the tailgate party before the Jellicle ball.

[1:06:00] Well, it's what they've always said.

[1:06:01] How do you get to the Jellicle ball?

[1:06:02] Practice.

[1:06:03] Okay?

[1:06:04] I mean, honestly, Bustopher Jones and Jenny Any-Dots are not getting chosen

[1:06:09] Absolutely not.

[1:06:10] They might as well just burn their song early.

[1:06:12] They're gonna fall into the river and get sucked up the chocolate pipe.

[1:06:19] They never really explain what the qualifications are for getting to the Heaviside lair either

[1:06:25] because Bustopher Jones, as we've established, his song is just

[1:06:28] I'm fat, I like to eat, and that is the entire thing.

[1:06:31] I think it could be like in Defending Your Life

[1:06:34] when they're basically saying you didn't make the most of your life.

[1:06:38] You had all these opportunities to make the most of it, and you held back.

[1:06:41] And Bustopher's like, I never held back.

[1:06:43] I saw something I wanted to eat, and I ate it.

[1:06:45] I enjoyed life to the fullest.

[1:06:47] Give me another one, please.

[1:06:49] That's the game he's playing?

[1:06:50] Bustopher's also saying that.

[1:06:51] Well, I think it all comes down to the mystery of faith.

[1:06:54] That being saved by the Lord is not your choice.

[1:06:59] It's the Lord's choice, and the Lord is mysterious

[1:07:02] and operates according to Old Deuteronomy's own arithmetic

[1:07:06] that mortal cats cannot hope to penetrate

[1:07:09] except that in the end she picks the most obvious cat

[1:07:12] that we all thought she was going to pick.

[1:07:14] Please, Old Deuteronomy is her father.

[1:07:16] Call her Old Deut.

[1:07:20] I remember when Old Deut was crucified between those two criminals

[1:07:23] and said, you two shall dine with me in heaven tonight.

[1:07:26] Why'd she bring those criminals up to the Heaviside lair with her?

[1:07:29] I don't know.

[1:07:30] That's the mystery of Old Deuteronomy.

[1:07:32] I do like the idea of calling her Old Deut

[1:07:34] because that's going to get the teens into it, right?

[1:07:37] Yeah, totally.

[1:07:38] I think it's the Heaviside lair, it's more kind of a Buddhist thing

[1:07:41] where you just sort of have to unburden yourself of the things of this life

[1:07:45] and the last thing that Grizabella gets rid of is her pain

[1:07:48] and that allows her to ascend to the Heaviside lair.

[1:07:52] And then once they get to the Heaviside lair,

[1:07:54] their collar is weighed against a feather, right?

[1:07:57] And if it doesn't work, then...

[1:07:59] Wait, Dan, don't look behind you.

[1:08:01] There's a cat.

[1:08:03] Watch out, it's about to start singing.

[1:08:06] Archie is my name and he's my game.

[1:08:09] I interrupt podcasts every single day.

[1:08:13] So the Jellicle Ball, there's a lot of...

[1:08:16] The Jellicle Ball begins, there's a big dance show piece,

[1:08:18] everybody's tails are operating like dicks.

[1:08:20] Is there a bit of a reprise of the Jellicle Cats song

[1:08:23] where they're like, explain what Jellicle Cats are?

[1:08:26] Not to, you know, do a musical theater thing.

[1:08:29] Yeah, no, as they're walking into the Jellicle Ball,

[1:08:32] they all sort of start saying what Jellicle Cats are,

[1:08:36] but it keeps changing and they're speaking it in a scary way.

[1:08:40] So there's one verse where they're like,

[1:08:42] Jellicle Cats come out.

[1:08:44] Jellicle Cats are of moderate size.

[1:08:46] Jellicle Cats, as we said, are small.

[1:08:49] And they're black and white and of moderate size.

[1:08:53] And they're small.

[1:08:54] We have learned neither of those things.

[1:08:56] I loved that, like, the first song in the musical

[1:08:59] is about Jellicle Cats,

[1:09:00] then you get another song that's about something else,

[1:09:02] and then the third song is about Jellicle Cats again.

[1:09:05] And it's like, at this point in my head, I'm just like,

[1:09:07] okay, if you're gonna make up a word,

[1:09:09] you can't, like, use it all the time.

[1:09:11] Just, like, do it in two songs total.

[1:09:13] No, no, no.

[1:09:14] Total in the musical.

[1:09:15] You gotta do it, you gotta sell it,

[1:09:17] you sell that word constantly until it no longer has any meaning.

[1:09:20] It starts as a strange sound, then you're like,

[1:09:23] I kinda understand what they're saying,

[1:09:24] and then it's just a strange sound

[1:09:25] and it loses, like, all comprehension to you.

[1:09:28] At this point, which Dan was like,

[1:09:29] this is a clockwork orange.

[1:09:31] It was just a bunch of, like, scary,

[1:09:33] other, my Dan, not this Dan,

[1:09:35] my boyfriend Dan,

[1:09:36] a bunch of people just,

[1:09:38] also this, also Dan McCoy,

[1:09:40] just like, cause a bunch of people

[1:09:41] creeping into an abandoned theater

[1:09:42] with, like, weird, sinister intentions

[1:09:45] saying words that don't totally make sense,

[1:09:47] and the audience feels like

[1:09:48] their eyes are, like, forced open.

[1:09:50] Not since, uh, yeah, like,

[1:09:53] it's the only thing I can think,

[1:09:54] I can compare it to in some ways

[1:09:57] in the way they repeat words and stuff,

[1:09:59] it's like how in Sweeney Todd's

[1:10:00] They keep reminding you that the show's about Sweeney Todd.

[1:10:02] Right, right.

[1:10:03] And then they'll just be like,

[1:10:04] Sweeney Todd's the guy, remember?

[1:10:06] Yeah, this is a little bit like,

[1:10:08] if in Fiddler on the Roof,

[1:10:09] that every song was like,

[1:10:10] Jews, Jews, what are Jews?

[1:10:12] If there were Jews, I'll tell you about Jews.

[1:10:14] Every song in Fiddler on the Roof is kinda like that.

[1:10:17] A little bit, yeah, I guess so.

[1:10:19] This sequence where people in weird costumes

[1:10:22] dance into a abandoned church wearing top hats and shit

[1:10:27] reminded me a lot of the first time

[1:10:28] I played a live-action role-playing game

[1:10:31] in a church after hours back in high school.

[1:10:36] Oh, what a vampire I was that night, guys.

[1:10:39] Very cool.

[1:10:40] Absolutely incredible.

[1:10:42] You know, it's a cliche to say something is dreamlike,

[1:10:47] but this movie is dreamlike in that

[1:10:50] it has its own concerns.

[1:10:52] Everyone in this have concerns

[1:10:54] that are very important to them,

[1:10:57] and within the movie, it makes sense.

[1:10:59] Like, within the movie,

[1:11:00] everything is this constructed world like,

[1:11:03] oh, okay, it's important to be the chosen Jellicle cat.

[1:11:07] Of course, we all know that,

[1:11:08] but as soon as you wake up and step outside of the dream,

[1:11:11] you're like, what was all that nonsense

[1:11:12] about the Heaviside Lair?

[1:11:14] There are also many moments where you're like,

[1:11:16] did I, is there any way that that actually existed

[1:11:19] outside of my subconscious?

[1:11:20] Yeah, it all takes place in a snow globe.

[1:11:22] I think that's, it's Tom Hooper.

[1:11:25] Tom Hooper is shaking a snow globe full of cats.

[1:11:29] I had like a very clear half-asleep thought this morning,

[1:11:34] which is that maybe the thing is,

[1:11:37] like, I have a dog, I love my dog,

[1:11:39] and most of my-

[1:11:40] As Judi Dench says at the end of the movie-

[1:11:41] Cats are not dogs.

[1:11:42] Dog cats are not dogs.

[1:11:43] You're right.

[1:11:44] But I spend so much of my time picking him up,

[1:11:46] giving him weird nicknames,

[1:11:48] and being like, spoofs the Pope of Friends.

[1:11:51] Just declaring weird things about him,

[1:11:53] and I'm like, what if all the cats are declaring stuff

[1:11:56] that humans have declared about the cats that they own?

[1:11:59] Oh, could be.

[1:12:00] Just repeating what they've heard.

[1:12:02] I would definitely be like, spoofs the little railway guy.

[1:12:04] He's like, why isn't this pose everywhere?

[1:12:07] The train can't start without little guys.

[1:12:11] Now, this big dance scene,

[1:12:13] this is the one I was talking about earlier

[1:12:14] where I was like, this actually works for me,

[1:12:16] but it starts with the moon comes out-

[1:12:18] It's like climax.

[1:12:19] And they start dancing as if they're gonna turn

[1:12:19] into werewolf cats.

[1:12:20] Yeah, yeah.

[1:12:23] And then over the course of this dance,

[1:12:25] Grizabella sort of creeps in to see what's going on,

[1:12:29] and she like slinks out, and Victoria sees her,

[1:12:32] and she goes to see Grizabella out in the moonlight.

[1:12:38] And this is when Grizabella does the memory pre-prise.

[1:12:43] She is sort of like holding her face to the lamplight.

[1:12:48] It's really intense.

[1:12:50] And honestly, this is the first part

[1:12:52] where I did get teary-eyed because Jennifer Hudson,

[1:12:55] I don't think she's great with dialogue in films,

[1:12:58] but Jennifer Hudson knows how to emote during a song

[1:13:03] and sound great doing it.

[1:13:05] And so I was very moved.

[1:13:07] And luckily, lest I get too moved

[1:13:10] during this point in the movie,

[1:13:12] the next thing is Beautiful Ghosts sung by Victoria.

[1:13:15] We're gonna fight about this, Natalie.

[1:13:17] I thought that Beautiful Ghosts,

[1:13:19] I know it's new for this movie version,

[1:13:22] but I really liked the melody for that song a lot.

[1:13:25] I thought it was a very, very pretty song.

[1:13:29] And as I said, I don't like many of these songs.

[1:13:31] Sure, I think the song is not the problem.

[1:13:34] I think the space that it occupies is the problem for me

[1:13:39] because it's sort of like you look at cats,

[1:13:41] even people who despise cats,

[1:13:43] you have to admit, memory is great.

[1:13:46] And it's like, okay, what is the iconic song from this show?

[1:13:51] The iconic song is about an outcast

[1:13:54] discussing the only memories that they have

[1:13:58] to sustain them.

[1:14:02] And then to follow up at least the pre-pre's of that

[1:14:06] with someone else coming up and being like,

[1:14:10] hey, so you think you have it bad?

[1:14:14] You at least have memories that are good.

[1:14:16] My life is worse than yours.

[1:14:19] Well, she's like, at least you have your memories.

[1:14:22] I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me.

[1:14:24] I haven't done anything yet.

[1:14:25] Isn't that terrible?

[1:14:26] And then Grizabella's like, I'm gonna kill you right now.

[1:14:29] Yes, yes, and also weirdly,

[1:14:31] Francesca Hayward who plays Victoria

[1:14:33] is half black in real life,

[1:14:36] but the optics of the way that they have her

[1:14:39] as just a white cat approaching a cat

[1:14:41] who is clearly a woman of color

[1:14:43] and being like, hi, I have it worse

[1:14:46] because sometimes people say I'm too beautiful

[1:14:49] to be around them.

[1:14:50] Like it feels very supermodel.

[1:14:52] No, I agree with that.

[1:14:53] It does feel like stealing the moment.

[1:14:55] But I guess that because I do not have any previous

[1:15:00] attachment to the musical Cats,

[1:15:02] I have not seen it in any other format.

[1:15:03] So what you're saying is you're like,

[1:15:05] I'm sorry that I don't love Cats as much as you nab.

[1:15:08] Yeah, that's what I said.

[1:15:09] What you're saying is,

[1:15:10] you're like, at least you have your memories

[1:15:11] of the original Cats to cling to.

[1:15:13] What about me who's never seen Cats?

[1:15:15] Isn't that the worst thing to me?

[1:15:16] No, I'm saying that I only registered Cats

[1:15:20] as a bunch of stimuli that was being thrown at me.

[1:15:23] So my thought when I heard this was like,

[1:15:25] oh, pretty song.

[1:15:27] I will say I also like this song much better

[1:15:30] when Taylor Swift sings it.

[1:15:32] Yeah.

[1:15:33] I like Taylor Swift's version on the soundtrack a lot.

[1:15:36] What this song becomes,

[1:15:36] it eventually turns into Judi Dench

[1:15:38] watching them and sing talking words

[1:15:40] that were incomprehensible to me.

[1:15:42] It was like they flowed in one ear and out the other,

[1:15:43] and my brain refused to register them.

[1:15:46] Well, this is,

[1:15:47] because then Judi Dench's song is from the actual show,

[1:15:50] and it leans into Andrew Lloyd Webber's favorite thing,

[1:15:52] which is just like recitative.

[1:15:54] That's a bunch of random notes together,

[1:15:57] where it's like,

[1:15:58] here are some words I say now.

[1:16:03] That was always,

[1:16:05] when I was a kid,

[1:16:05] that was my mental parody of sung through musicals,

[1:16:09] because there is always that part,

[1:16:11] which is like,

[1:16:12] and now to transition from this song to another,

[1:16:17] and it's like,

[1:16:18] okay, well, this is not a melody.

[1:16:20] Just let the listeners know that Dan

[1:16:24] went from looking at Natalie to looking at me.

[1:16:27] That's stagecraft.

[1:16:29] Yeah, you have to include the whole audience.

[1:16:31] You gotta play to all the sides.

[1:16:34] Dan, you were listening to a lot of Gilbert and Sullivan.

[1:16:37] That's right.

[1:16:38] Great.

[1:16:39] And then Victoria goes back in after Judi Dench has watched,

[1:16:42] and Judi Dench is like,

[1:16:44] it's time for the Jellicle Ball to start.

[1:16:45] And Victoria's like,

[1:16:46] I don't know if I can.

[1:16:47] And Judi Dench is like, why?

[1:16:48] And Victoria says,

[1:16:49] well, I'm not a Jellicle.

[1:16:51] And Judi Dench is like,

[1:16:51] well, you can watch,

[1:16:52] and you can be my guest.

[1:16:54] It's better if you watched.

[1:16:56] Very well.

[1:16:57] And now the Jellicle Ball finally begins,

[1:17:00] even though we have been watching it happen forever.

[1:17:04] And the first player up is Ian McKellen,

[1:17:08] as Gus the theater cat.

[1:17:10] And ooh, baby, this movie is good.

[1:17:13] Yeah.

[1:17:15] No, this is like,

[1:17:16] look, I will make an argument that there are

[1:17:20] multiple moments in this movie

[1:17:22] that come very close to actually working well

[1:17:25] on their intended level.

[1:17:27] And all of them are when the camera just kind of stops

[1:17:31] and focuses on a performer

[1:17:32] and lets them emote or sing or do their thing.

[1:17:36] If you let Ian McKellen just perform

[1:17:38] what's essentially like kind of a speech song,

[1:17:40] he'll be able to do a great job.

[1:17:42] Yes.

[1:17:43] The restraint,

[1:17:44] I wonder if there was like a waiver they had to sign

[1:17:46] when they were being cast that said like,

[1:17:48] I give them permission to turn my body into a CGI thing

[1:17:51] that just floats around in the air and leaps.

[1:17:53] And Ian McKellen was like,

[1:17:54] hmm, sir, Ian is not signing.

[1:17:57] I won't be doing that.

[1:17:58] I'm sure they've signed a contract that says

[1:18:00] that we will look like absolutely normal cat humans.

[1:18:04] Not weird at all.

[1:18:06] After Ian-

[1:18:07] No, he did agree to say meow, meow.

[1:18:09] Oh yeah.

[1:18:10] He does like an arpeggio of meow, meow, meow, meow.

[1:18:15] Didn't he also like scratch his head against like a wall?

[1:18:18] Yeah, he does.

[1:18:18] He scratches his head against a wall.

[1:18:20] It's very sweet because he scratches his head

[1:18:22] against a wall for luck right before he goes on.

[1:18:25] And Mistoffelees is watching him right behind.

[1:18:27] And Mistoffelees copies that behavior

[1:18:30] because he like idolizes Gus the theater cat.

[1:18:32] And it's very sweet and contributed

[1:18:34] to my huge Mistoffelees crush.

[1:18:37] This was one of the scenes where I was like,

[1:18:40] why, like this scene works somewhat

[1:18:43] and it's one of the less CGI-ish scenes.

[1:18:45] And it made me start thinking about like

[1:18:47] the cowardly lion in Wizard of Oz,

[1:18:50] where like, that's not a realistic looking costume.

[1:18:52] Like, I'm never like,

[1:18:53] oh wow, there's a real lion walking around.

[1:18:56] Burt Lahr's performance is so broad,

[1:18:58] but when he's sad in it, it's like really moving to me.

[1:19:01] And I'm like, so how come this movie can't do that?

[1:19:04] Is it partly CGI, is it partly,

[1:19:06] well, I couldn't quite figure out

[1:19:07] how the Wizard of Oz was accomplishing

[1:19:10] what this one was not.

[1:19:11] It can't do it in general, but I'll tell you something.

[1:19:14] At the end of Ian McKellen's number,

[1:19:16] the second time I saw this movie in theaters,

[1:19:19] the audience burst into applause.

[1:19:22] The whole audience.

[1:19:23] And it was genuine applause.

[1:19:25] Like, it did not seem ironic.

[1:19:26] They're like, oh, holy shit.

[1:19:28] Some acting just happened in the middle of cash.

[1:19:30] And it's also that it's an older actor

[1:19:34] that we're very familiar with singing

[1:19:35] about being an old actor who has his memories of,

[1:19:38] like, it's one of the few times where I'm like,

[1:19:40] oh, the part and the performer,

[1:19:42] oh, this and Bustopher,

[1:19:43] I'm like, the part and the performer match perfectly,

[1:19:45] because James Corden does drive me like a big silly cat

[1:19:47] that likes to eat all the time.

[1:19:49] I'm like.

[1:19:50] And that loves garbage.

[1:19:51] Like, it's the reason that like,

[1:19:54] but also the reason that like,

[1:19:56] Alec Guinness can pull off Obi-Wan Kenobi,

[1:19:58] which is a silly character,

[1:20:00] He's an old man with magic powers that lives in the desert

[1:20:02] and takes a young man to a bar.

[1:20:04] Cause it's like, oh, oh, this guy has like years

[1:20:06] of weight on him, you know, from his past performances.

[1:20:10] Like it's just, this gives you a glimpse

[1:20:12] of the cats that might have been.

[1:20:13] But to your like cowardly lion point,

[1:20:15] I think the thing is when you're being shown something

[1:20:17] that is so clearly representative of something,

[1:20:20] but not trying to be realistic.

[1:20:21] The reason musical theater works, like nobody's singing,

[1:20:23] but they're also like, you know what?

[1:20:25] This is just the reality.

[1:20:26] So we're not going to try and make it seem realistic.

[1:20:28] It's just like the world of the show.

[1:20:30] This is like, they went out of their way

[1:20:32] to try and make it realistic.

[1:20:34] And so then you're like, well,

[1:20:35] now I can't take anything serious.

[1:20:37] The show, the movie would be better if people were like,

[1:20:40] oh, there's this one guy in the crowd

[1:20:41] that they forgot to CGI into a cat.

[1:20:44] If the movie would have been better

[1:20:45] if it was just people wearing regular clothes.

[1:20:47] And that's why Ian McKellen, I think like works really well

[1:20:49] is because he's wearing some of the most clothes of anyone.

[1:20:52] Like he's in a scarf and a like shabby little coat.

[1:20:55] And like his face, like they did so much hair on the sides

[1:21:01] that it looks like an exaggerated cat.

[1:21:04] I keep gesturing.

[1:21:06] No, it looks like a cat,

[1:21:06] but it also looks like an old man's like sideburns.

[1:21:09] Yes, exactly.

[1:21:10] And so I felt like he was the most sort of human like

[1:21:15] of the cats in terms of the design.

[1:21:17] And certainly most of his movements,

[1:21:20] I think he does some great little cat touches.

[1:21:24] But to play with what you guys were talking about,

[1:21:27] it's part of the idea of like these,

[1:21:29] like a blockbuster movie musical,

[1:21:32] especially in the era of digital effects

[1:21:36] is that there is a feeling of like,

[1:21:37] let's make it more realistic.

[1:21:40] Let's make it feel less like something

[1:21:42] that you could go see on stage at your,

[1:21:46] I don't know, your local gymnasium or whatever.

[1:21:48] And I think it does a disservice in some ways here

[1:21:53] and in other ways, it makes it great.

[1:21:55] That's what I was trying to get at earlier

[1:21:56] because I think that specifically

[1:21:57] like blockbuster filmmaking,

[1:21:59] they almost feel this obligation.

[1:22:00] They're like, okay, we're throwing a bunch of money

[1:22:03] at like a big property and good actors.

[1:22:06] So we also have to like put a bunch of money

[1:22:09] into CGI fur too.

[1:22:10] And it's like, no, no, you don't, you don't need to do that.

[1:22:13] Well, here's another question this raises in my mind,

[1:22:16] which is, so there is a better version of this movie,

[1:22:20] which is not as CGI crazy

[1:22:22] and embraces the reality of the stage

[1:22:24] as opposed to the reality of special effects illusions.

[1:22:28] That is not a version of the movie

[1:22:29] that I think would have given me the same joy.

[1:22:32] Correcting, correct.

[1:22:34] Crazy nonsense flying around in front of my face.

[1:22:36] Cause I like, I got more genuine joy from this movie

[1:22:39] than I think any other movie I've seen.

[1:22:41] I'm not gonna say all year

[1:22:42] cause it's, we're one week into the year,

[1:22:44] but like in the past six months.

[1:22:46] So like, is it this movie like,

[1:22:48] is it, it's like the worst version of it,

[1:22:50] but I'd also, I got more out of it

[1:22:52] than I would have out of like a good straightforward.

[1:22:54] Yeah, well, especially for people that like bad movies,

[1:22:58] I think there is an aspect of this that's like,

[1:23:02] it's so earnest.

[1:23:04] Cause a lot of bad movies like try to have,

[1:23:07] try to pretend that they know what's going on.

[1:23:11] Also it's hard for me, like I've talked about this,

[1:23:13] like I've never gotten into the cult of the room

[1:23:16] because it feels cruel to me on some level.

[1:23:18] And I don't care about Tommy Wiseau,

[1:23:20] but then there are like other people,

[1:23:21] well, especially for me as an actor,

[1:23:22] where I'm like, a lot of these people

[1:23:24] were just people that like wanted a job

[1:23:26] and like showed up and did a job

[1:23:27] and we're making fun of them as well.

[1:23:29] And like, it just really bums me out.

[1:23:32] This is like so many people with so much money

[1:23:35] and influence who are going to be fine,

[1:23:38] like all committed to this thing

[1:23:40] that is so earnestly, operatically bad

[1:23:45] and insane, but the flickers of goodness in it,

[1:23:52] it's just like a whiplash inducing extravaganza.

[1:23:55] And it's just like, you just feel so free.

[1:23:59] And I've also like, you know,

[1:24:00] like I've also heard people argue

[1:24:02] who didn't have as good a time as we all obviously did

[1:24:05] that like, oh, you know, okay.

[1:24:08] But everything that's crazy about the movie Cats

[1:24:10] was basically crazy in the show Cats.

[1:24:12] I'm like, yeah, I get where you're coming from.

[1:24:15] And I don't want to say that like those people

[1:24:17] can feel that way, but like for me-

[1:24:19] You're not saying they can go like jump in a lake

[1:24:21] or take a hike.

[1:24:22] But for me, like the interesting thing is like, okay,

[1:24:26] they took this successful preexisting material,

[1:24:29] threw a bunch of money in town at it,

[1:24:31] but then along the way made every decision wrong.

[1:24:35] Like every single decision wrong.

[1:24:38] And like, I feel like maybe like,

[1:24:40] maybe if you do everything wrong, it equals good movie.

[1:24:44] You're saying the movie shot the moon.

[1:24:46] Yeah.

[1:24:46] It lost so bad that it won.

[1:24:48] Exactly.

[1:24:49] Yeah.

[1:24:50] Well, it was bad in new ways and that's exciting.

[1:24:52] Yeah.

[1:24:52] It is.

[1:24:53] I mean, say what you will-

[1:24:54] Bad movie cocaine.

[1:24:56] Say what you will about Tom Hooper.

[1:24:57] I never saw Les Mis, the movie version of it.

[1:24:59] It's very bad.

[1:25:00] It's not fun.

[1:25:01] It's not fun in any way.

[1:25:03] This is the first time I've ever considered him

[1:25:05] a director with a creative vision.

[1:25:07] And I'm like, I love it.

[1:25:08] Yes, because mostly what I know him from

[1:25:09] is the King speech, which is like fine.

[1:25:12] Yeah.

[1:25:13] It's a good movie.

[1:25:14] It's nothing special.

[1:25:15] It's like, it's, you know, I remember seeing that movie

[1:25:16] and I was like, that movie hit every note

[1:25:18] I thought it was going to hit and I'm fine with that.

[1:25:20] Yeah.

[1:25:21] But so I was like, oh yeah, he makes those kinds of movies.

[1:25:23] And then to see this and it's like, oh no, no,

[1:25:25] there's things living in his head.

[1:25:25] Yeah, because this is a neon fever dream.

[1:25:28] And like a fever dream, like it's a thing where you're like,

[1:25:30] your brain just keeps rushing and doing the same thing

[1:25:32] over and over again with slight variations.

[1:25:35] And to think that Geoffrey Rush was probably waiting

[1:25:38] as a stand-in for Gus the theater cat

[1:25:40] in case Ian McKellen hurt himself.

[1:25:44] Oh my God.

[1:25:45] So speaking of Ian McKellen,

[1:25:46] Gus gets disappeared by Macavity

[1:25:48] because honestly Gus would probably be my Jellicle choice.

[1:25:52] Of course.

[1:25:53] Is this when he says Macavity?

[1:25:54] Yes.

[1:25:55] This is the second Macavity

[1:25:56] and this one is even more exaggerated.

[1:25:58] This one, he goes, Macavity.

[1:26:02] Absolutely incredible.

[1:26:03] And then we get to my man, Skibble Shanks, yay!

[1:26:09] And what I love about this is there's like 20 minutes

[1:26:13] of sad shit and then it's just like,

[1:26:15] and now Skibble Shanks, the fabulous tap dancing cat!

[1:26:18] Incredible.

[1:26:20] And Munkustrap starts talking about this guy

[1:26:22] and I'm like, is he introducing himself?

[1:26:24] Who is this guy?

[1:26:25] Like, why are they introducing a new person at this point?

[1:26:28] This character, so he was a background dancer

[1:26:30] in a bunch of the, when the ball started.

[1:26:33] And he's wearing red pants with suspenders

[1:26:36] over his cat chest and he's got a hat

[1:26:38] and a big handlebar mustache.

[1:26:39] And you're like, you better introduce me to this cat

[1:26:42] because you cannot just doll up an extra dancer.

[1:26:44] I must know who this steampunk cat is.

[1:26:47] He looks like he's in a cat strip review.

[1:26:50] Yes, yeah.

[1:26:51] He looks like Waluigi.

[1:26:54] He looks exactly like Waluigi.

[1:26:59] He's super sexy and very, very charismatic.

[1:27:03] And his whole sequence I love

[1:27:05] and his tap dancing is great.

[1:27:06] And it's almost like the movie is like,

[1:27:08] this is, it could be a tap dancing on film.

[1:27:10] It is like one of the most classic things a movie can do.

[1:27:14] Like it goes back to almost the beginning of film.

[1:27:16] It's certainly the beginning of sound film

[1:27:18] to watch tap dancing on screen.

[1:27:20] It's just the most basic cinema dancing you can do.

[1:27:23] And it's like, so every now and then the movie is like,

[1:27:25] let's undercut it with some crazy shot

[1:27:26] to something else real quick

[1:27:28] and then we'll go back to the dancing.

[1:27:29] And my wife was getting so much pleasure

[1:27:31] out of the shots of him tap dancing on the rail lines.

[1:27:35] And the other cats would be like watching his feet

[1:27:38] because that's exactly what cats do.

[1:27:41] And they tap dance all the way out

[1:27:45] onto the train tracks on the river.

[1:27:47] It's like a very magical reveal.

[1:27:48] And every time I see it,

[1:27:50] no matter what capacity of mind I am in,

[1:27:53] I'm just like, woo, they're out.

[1:27:56] And I just have Lovian response, start clapping.

[1:28:00] All I could think was that the train is gonna come.

[1:28:03] It's gonna just splatter all these cats.

[1:28:04] I get anxious.

[1:28:05] There's also a big part in the song where it's like,

[1:28:07] and the lock on the door and all the cats go,

[1:28:10] and I love that part.

[1:28:12] That part, really excellent.

[1:28:15] And then at the end of Skimbleshanks, the railway cat,

[1:28:19] he starts doing a spin,

[1:28:22] but then he starts spinning up into the air

[1:28:26] and everyone in the audience is like, what?

[1:28:29] What's going on?

[1:28:30] And then he spins himself into freaking dust

[1:28:33] and it's Macavity again.

[1:28:35] And this time, Macavity says, ineffable.

[1:28:41] This spin into dust is a gif available on the internet.

[1:28:44] You need to seek it out.

[1:28:47] There's a moment, I need to know if there's a gif of it.

[1:28:50] I think it's from Tumtugger,

[1:28:51] but there's a point where one of the cats is just like,

[1:28:54] ee, like does that kind of gritted teeth,

[1:28:57] like, uh-uh, I don't think so.

[1:28:58] And I want to use it so badly on Twitter.

[1:29:01] Skimbleshanks gets disappeared and before anyone

[1:29:07] can even know what has become of Mr. Skimbleshanks,

[1:29:11] oh, there's some sensual music that starts happening

[1:29:16] and a crescent moon comes down from the sky.

[1:29:19] And you're like, Mac tonight?

[1:29:20] And you're like, oh man, whomst could this be

[1:29:24] but Taylor Swift, who is wearing kitten heels, wink, wink.

[1:29:31] Has boobs, has such prominent boobs

[1:29:34] and she is just maxing and relaxing on her crescent moon

[1:29:37] and she starts singing a whole song about Macavity.

[1:29:40] And she's got like a bedazzled catnip cocktail shaker

[1:29:45] that she's sprinkling sparkly catnip,

[1:29:48] which is making all the cats horny or tired,

[1:29:51] I can't tell.

[1:29:52] Yeah, it's supposed to be like a poppies

[1:29:55] in the Wizard of Oz type thing.

[1:29:57] Yeah, not since Val Kilmer casting drugs.

[1:30:00] The animal people of the island of Dr. Moreau.

[1:30:02] Was I more weirded out and kind of confused

[1:30:05] by the fact that this thing was happening,

[1:30:07] happening on animal people?

[1:30:08] This is one of my favorite stories now about cats,

[1:30:11] which is that Taylor Swift's dad had the idea

[1:30:15] for her to have catnip, and apparently came to set,

[1:30:17] Taylor Swift gave an interview about this.

[1:30:19] Her dad came to set on one of the early days

[1:30:22] and was like, hey, she should be catnipping everyone,

[1:30:26] and it makes them all go crazy.

[1:30:29] And Tom Hooper did not know what catnip was.

[1:30:32] Oh, wow.

[1:30:33] He's doing cats and he didn't know what catnip was.

[1:30:36] Because I could only assume that's the only reason

[1:30:38] there was not already a catnip gag in the movie.

[1:30:41] Yeah.

[1:30:42] Yeah.

[1:30:43] Now, full credit to Taylor Swift's dad,

[1:30:46] but it doesn't surprise me that one of the great satirists

[1:30:48] of the English language, Jonathan Swift,

[1:30:50] should come up with an idea like that.

[1:30:51] He said, Director Hooper, I have a modest proposal

[1:30:54] for you about this scene.

[1:30:56] Oh, my God.

[1:31:00] I love Taylor Swift in this movie

[1:31:02] because you just get such a clear picture.

[1:31:05] She is such a mean girl who likes the VHS of cats

[1:31:10] and makes you watch it at her sleepovers.

[1:31:12] Yes.

[1:31:13] And if you fall asleep, she's gonna put water in your ears.

[1:31:19] It's like you can see her as a little girl

[1:31:22] bossing her other friends around to be her backups

[1:31:24] for her choreographed version of this song.

[1:31:26] Exactly.

[1:31:27] But I think that's the right feel for this character.

[1:31:29] What's her name?

[1:31:30] Bombalurina.

[1:31:31] Bombalurina.

[1:31:32] Hey, man, I was having a great time.

[1:31:33] I was slinking around in my seat at this point.

[1:31:35] Also, Taylor Swift was the first person cast in this movie.

[1:31:39] Taylor Swift was the first person Tom Hooper asked

[1:31:42] because she was almost Eponine in Les Mis.

[1:31:44] And I guess this was Tom Hooper's sort of olive branch

[1:31:48] or I'll give this to you instead.

[1:31:51] Well, that would have been a nightmare.

[1:31:53] This was her Mary Poppins to Julie Andrews

[1:31:55] for missing out on my family.

[1:31:56] Exactly.

[1:31:57] Oh, no, Sound of Music, I guess it was, Sound of Music.

[1:32:00] Absolutely wild.

[1:32:02] But why, I mean, is this character,

[1:32:06] shouldn't she have been like old Deuteronomy

[1:32:08] or Grisabella or something?

[1:32:10] What do you mean?

[1:32:11] I don't know, if this is the first person cast,

[1:32:13] it's like a weird role to cast first.

[1:32:15] But I feel like Jenny is right.

[1:32:17] I feel like Jenny's onto something in that,

[1:32:19] there's a filmed version of the show

[1:32:23] and this song in the show is like,

[1:32:26] it's two women in the show that are doing it together.

[1:32:30] But Bon Ballerina is one.

[1:32:31] And like, she's like the hottest cat.

[1:32:34] She's like the young, hot cat on the scene.

[1:32:37] And like, it's belty, it's like a huge number.

[1:32:39] And like, it becomes this like,

[1:32:40] huge female empowerment number by the end

[1:32:43] because none of the men sing it in the show.

[1:32:46] It just becomes, when there's that huge build,

[1:32:49] all of the female cats just like crowd around her

[1:32:51] and are just her backups.

[1:32:53] And I could see how, if you grew up addicted to cats,

[1:32:57] you'd be like, I'm Bon Ballerina.

[1:33:00] And also they could like, it seems clear to me

[1:33:03] that everyone who was associated with cats,

[1:33:05] like the bigger stars came and did their stuff

[1:33:08] and then pieced out.

[1:33:10] And so I feel like it was an easier ask for Taylor Swift

[1:33:14] to do this big-

[1:33:16] I don't think she's on location in Cat London

[1:33:19] for weeks in her trailer waiting for her scene.

[1:33:21] Like this big showpiece number and then piece out.

[1:33:24] And this is where they list

[1:33:26] all of Macavity's qualities, right?

[1:33:28] Yes, including that he has broken every human law.

[1:33:30] Every human law.

[1:33:32] And so, and this is when we get to the,

[1:33:34] after the-

[1:33:35] Oh boy.

[1:33:36] Which is weird because he doesn't sing his own song.

[1:33:38] I'm sorry, I know you made the joke earlier,

[1:33:39] but now I'm just really thinking about the ramifications

[1:33:42] for the first time.

[1:33:43] Of every human law.

[1:33:44] Oh, he's done terrible things.

[1:33:45] Macavity has done horrible things,

[1:33:47] but also kind of silly things.

[1:33:48] But this is, after the mice babies,

[1:33:51] this is the second most terrifying sight to me is,

[1:33:54] as we mentioned, when Macavity appears with no trench coat

[1:33:57] and he just looks like he's been,

[1:33:59] he's just a castrated man.

[1:34:00] Yeah, it's horrible.

[1:34:01] It's a really Samson Shorn moment.

[1:34:04] Like if we had seen Idris Elba that naked the whole movie,

[1:34:08] it would have been one thing.

[1:34:09] But because we've been shown Idris Elba

[1:34:11] in a hat and trench coat,

[1:34:14] he maintained a level of dignity.

[1:34:16] And then they strip him.

[1:34:18] And it also means that Macavity is making the choice

[1:34:19] to show up naked.

[1:34:21] Macavity is the one that's like,

[1:34:22] this is my big number, I've got to take it off.

[1:34:25] And I feel like of the performers,

[1:34:27] he doesn't quite have the same pipes as everyone else.

[1:34:31] Maybe I'm just being a jerk.

[1:34:32] No, no, he sings for a second in his first appearance

[1:34:38] and he's like, Macavity is a bad cat and a monster.

[1:34:43] And Brad, he just sings for a second.

[1:34:47] Like, what's going on?

[1:34:51] But yeah, yeah, he's so naked.

[1:34:53] At the end of his number, his big number ends,

[1:34:57] they made a whole light up staircase happen.

[1:35:02] And at the end of it, Deuteronomy walks up

[1:35:06] and Macavity is like, well, clearly I won.

[1:35:08] I'm the best one.

[1:35:09] And Judy Dudge says, no.

[1:35:11] And then he magics her away.

[1:35:14] Old Deuteronomy is gone.

[1:35:15] Oh no, it's very sad.

[1:35:17] It's very sad.

[1:35:18] Time for the new Deuteronomy.

[1:35:19] Yeah, time for the best song in the movie.

[1:35:21] Time for the best song in the movie.

[1:35:22] But also before that, they go to the barge

[1:35:25] and my favorite line happens,

[1:35:27] which is they try to force Deuteronomy to walk the plank.

[1:35:31] And he says, just make me the Jellicle choice.

[1:35:35] Just say it's me and then we can all go home.

[1:35:39] And Judy Dudge turns around

[1:35:40] and with every bit of gravitas she has, she goes,

[1:35:43] you will never be my Jellicle choice.

[1:35:46] Mm, mm, mm.

[1:35:47] I mean, I have to assume that,

[1:35:52] I mean, again, she was almost gonna be in Cats

[1:35:55] when it was on the stage when she was younger,

[1:35:56] but I assume after being in the Chronicles of Riddick,

[1:35:58] she was like, I'll say whatever.

[1:36:00] Just give me whatever dumb line and I'll say it.

[1:36:03] You will never be my Jellicle choice.

[1:36:05] But then we go back to the Egyptian theater,

[1:36:07] which is where they're having the Jellicle ball.

[1:36:09] And none of them know how they're gonna get old dude back.

[1:36:14] This is when Mungo Jerry calls her old dude.

[1:36:16] And Victoria is like, well, Mistoffelees can do magic.

[1:36:21] And the song Magical Mr. Mistoffelees,

[1:36:24] which in the show is just Mistoffelees

[1:36:26] being arrogant and singing about himself,

[1:36:28] now in this movie becomes like,

[1:36:30] we all gotta psych up Mr. Mistoffelees.

[1:36:33] And I gotta say, there's something about the way it's shot

[1:36:35] where he's standing on the stage with the footlights on him

[1:36:39] and the cats are gathered around some from below,

[1:36:43] that it really felt to me that suddenly the movie of Cats

[1:36:46] transformed into a high school production of Cats.

[1:36:49] It's got this weird feeling.

[1:36:51] Yes, it's so confusing

[1:36:53] because Macavity had disappearing powers and stuff,

[1:36:57] but Mistoffelees really just had,

[1:37:00] the magic he had was like cars.

[1:37:02] Yeah, it's all parlor magic.

[1:37:03] Yeah, it's weird that she's like,

[1:37:05] he does magic.

[1:37:07] He could probably do other kinds of magic too.

[1:37:08] That's because Victoria is somewhat brain damaged

[1:37:12] from being tossed out of the car.

[1:37:13] Yeah, honestly, she got tossed out with vigor.

[1:37:18] So yeah, this is very like 70s,

[1:37:20] there's a little bit of rock to it, right?

[1:37:23] It's a little bit of swing.

[1:37:26] I'm just gonna go and say, not a fan of this song.

[1:37:29] Really? Wow.

[1:37:30] We were so on board.

[1:37:31] The audience that we saw was singing and swaying with it,

[1:37:34] but that's, you know what?

[1:37:35] Maybe it's just because this plus the do, do, do.

[1:37:38] And you guys are in Hollywood, right?

[1:37:40] It's full of.

[1:37:40] Those are the only things I knew about it.

[1:37:41] So when it finally showed up, I was like,

[1:37:43] oh yeah, this song.

[1:37:44] Whereas every other song was a delightful new discovery

[1:37:46] for me.

[1:37:47] Right.

[1:37:48] Like opening up an oyster and finding not a pearl,

[1:37:50] but some kind of like a squid's eyeball.

[1:37:53] With a cat face on it.

[1:37:54] Yeah.

[1:37:55] I'll say, I don't listen to this song on its own ever,

[1:37:59] but the experience of watching it in the theater

[1:38:02] with an audience,

[1:38:02] it's one of my favorites in the context

[1:38:04] of watching the thing.

[1:38:05] Natalie, that comment raises way more questions.

[1:38:08] Well, because I think that it's so great

[1:38:11] in an audience in the theater.

[1:38:12] I'm imagining Natalie at the gym,

[1:38:14] listening to all the cat songs.

[1:38:16] Yeah, I'm listening to Skipple Shanks on the treadmill.

[1:38:18] I guess that makes sense.

[1:38:19] You're right.

[1:38:20] But I do think it makes sense that this plays so well

[1:38:24] with an audience,

[1:38:25] because it is that moment of kind of like,

[1:38:28] clap your hands and ticker bell will come back to life.

[1:38:31] Yeah, it's exactly that.

[1:38:33] Everything in this movie is so dumb,

[1:38:35] but at this point, no matter how dumb it is,

[1:38:39] everyone has somehow bought into it.

[1:38:41] And they're like, yes, yes, do your magic.

[1:38:44] All of the people by this point in the movie

[1:38:46] that hate the movie and wouldn't have been on board

[1:38:48] have walked out.

[1:38:50] And everyone that's left has let the movie happen to them

[1:38:54] and are just luxuriating it.

[1:38:56] So, well, I should mention the baby mice come back

[1:38:59] while he's singing his song.

[1:39:00] And there's a bizarre moment where he like lifts off his hat

[1:39:03] and there's mice on his head.

[1:39:04] And one of them falls to the ground and scurries away

[1:39:06] and no one seems to notice.

[1:39:08] It was like, so did they just like add that in

[1:39:10] like Sergio Aragon's margin cartoon style

[1:39:12] after they made the movie

[1:39:14] and no one knew it was gonna be there?

[1:39:15] Like, it was just so strange to me.

[1:39:17] The mice were all upset about it too.

[1:39:18] Yeah, they were not happy.

[1:39:20] They were horrified.

[1:39:20] Yeah, and then he just puts his hat back on

[1:39:23] over the remaining two mice and is like, shut up.

[1:39:26] I'll leave you later.

[1:39:27] It was at that moment that I was like,

[1:39:28] oh, this is the movie Tim and Eric should have made

[1:39:30] instead of the movie they did make.

[1:39:32] But he does it.

[1:39:33] They managed to get his confidence up.

[1:39:35] Yes, they magic Judi Dench right on back.

[1:39:37] They think they didn't magic back old dude

[1:39:40] but then she's standing right behind them.

[1:39:42] Yep, it's-

[1:39:42] And she sings a verse.

[1:39:44] Yeah, she does sing a verse.

[1:39:45] And when we first hear Judi Dench's voice in the verse,

[1:39:48] I did gasp aloud at the premiere

[1:39:51] to a point where there was like a smattering of laughter

[1:39:55] at me being shocked when everyone knew

[1:39:57] it was happening.

[1:40:00] being telegraphed so intensely and yet I was overwhelmed after this like seven minute song

[1:40:08] where they only sing that his name is Magical Mr. Mistoffelees it goes on forever Max Ash pointed

[1:40:13] out that the funniest moment in the movie is MonkaStrap then at the end saying and now we

[1:40:18] are introducing Magical Mr. Mistoffelees oh is that what we were doing oh this whole time

[1:40:27] it's like MonkaStrap was in the bathroom during the song and he missed his cue and he just came

[1:40:32] out like yeah high school play style and just yelled his line onto the stage no matter what

[1:40:36] was going on I think I think this was around when I went to the bathroom during the movie

[1:40:40] because I held it for so long because I had no concept of where I was in the movie

[1:40:48] yeah more physical space oh my god meanwhile on the boat are we've Bustopher and Jenny

[1:40:54] they use their powers to defeat Growltiger and knock him into the water he's dead I guess

[1:40:59] oh and the final thing of it they like do most of the work and then Gus the theater cat goes to the

[1:41:06] plank in front of Growltiger and scares him off by doing by recreating the performance that he

[1:41:13] talked about all through his song which is the fiend of the fell and he does this by going

[1:41:25] and you can't tell what he's saying

[1:41:30] this is one of many things that totally eluded me the first time I saw the movie

[1:41:36] and then opened like a flower to me the second time

[1:41:46] like I knew I could understand it was like Shakespeare I could understand the gist of what

[1:41:49] he was talking about but if you asked me the specifics I'd be like I don't know it like he's

[1:41:53] clearly recreating the thing he used to but I don't know what it is like I don't know what he

[1:41:57] means like we also mentioned that the way Jenny any dots escapes by ripping off another skin

[1:42:03] either she has constantly regenerating out of skin where she was wearing several different layers of

[1:42:09] her dance Elliot to suggest anything but the first thing is horrifying and horrible

[1:42:18] there's something about there's something about wearing a skin suit from another person that is

[1:42:22] terrifying but then wearing multiple skin suits all I could think about is how sweaty you would

[1:42:26] get underneath it just feels gross and all the planning involved oh man and you got to tailor

[1:42:31] the ones on the outside to be bigger than the ones on the inside so it fits over you don't

[1:42:36] have a lot of time so you have to swiftly tailor them so it's a little bit like in the in the

[1:42:42] the cartoons where it's the uh it's the wolf and the sheep and they're each dressed up as each

[1:42:47] other and they continue to remove their costumes until the end of the wolf is holding a stick of

[1:42:51] dynamite like wait that stick of dynamite was walking around dressed as a sheep

[1:42:56] but it's the wolf and the sheepdog and they're wearing each other's skin anyway it's a great

[1:42:59] cartoon great cartoon old deuteronomy is back and luckily it's now time for memory the song we've

[1:43:07] all been waiting for victoria finally like she goes out she brings back in jennifer hudson

[1:43:12] and the lead into memory the way memory starts is victoria just looks at jennifer hudson hudson and

[1:43:18] goes sing and then memory happens audience surrogate says sing to jennifer hudson the only

[1:43:29] the only way it could have been better is if during the middle of the song a cat off to the

[1:43:32] side of the stage had picked up a phone and said said uncle said said uncle andrew it's your nephew

[1:43:40] gary gary lloyd weber i'm a cat anyway you know that song you've been looking for and then held

[1:43:45] up the old phone but they didn't do that yeah when jennifer hudson the phone would be very

[1:43:51] strangely proportioned for the cat's body it takes like 10 cats to pick up the phone

[1:43:57] it's like the phone in top secret no uh yeah when jennifer hudson hits her big dramatic

[1:44:04] note at the end of this song that was the second genuine applause break in my theater

[1:44:09] yeah that key change moment that big modulation it's so satisfying she sounds incredible

[1:44:15] she adds like a little bit of a growl on the all alone with the memory so like it's just adding

[1:44:20] like enough of her own sort of spin on that song um it's just great it's just great they also like

[1:44:28] there's not a lot of like funny camera stuff going on they just yeah right on her face and

[1:44:33] just let her do the thing and she does the thing and i cried oh there's some pride it's like the

[1:44:40] difference between a movie that is throwing all sorts of crazy junk at you and a movie that is

[1:44:45] like oh there are things that are like genuinely like entertaining performance things like singing

[1:44:52] beautifully or tap dancing where it's like it's enough to just put that on screen so you can see

[1:44:57] it and that's enough to make the movie but every other scene it's like uh i don't feel confident

[1:45:02] that this is gonna hold the audience's attention so maybe there should be trombones and flowers

[1:45:05] flying around the screen yep uh and so it reminded me of a oh wait sorry yeah it reminded me of a uh

[1:45:13] there's an there's a louis mall documentary called god's country that's about this little

[1:45:18] this small rural town and there's a scene where it's just a look it's just a wedding and the

[1:45:22] people are dancing at the wedding and there was something about like oh this being on film

[1:45:27] suddenly shows me how special it is like if i was seeing it in real life i might not realize

[1:45:32] how much it how captivating it is just in its existence and that song it's like that i think

[1:45:37] if i saw it in a theater it might not have hit me maybe because it's a person singing in real life

[1:45:41] but like on film it's just like oh this is all it is and it's still so still captivating like and to

[1:45:47] put it on film so simply it's like they finally they knew what they were doing for once and it's

[1:45:51] it's a fairly simple song yeah they let it be her i dream to dream moment yeah and yeah it works

[1:45:58] and she kills it she wins the jellicle ball she is judy dench's jellicle choice

[1:46:05] and also the death cult has their sacrifice yes and also it's very the way it becomes uh she's

[1:46:11] the whiplash of going back to how bad the movie is after this genuinely good and like sort of

[1:46:17] tasteful moment is that right after this happens they force everyone to start doing like cat

[1:46:24] moments of affection with each other and start just like rubbing each other as like a way of

[1:46:29] saying good job on this song and you're the jellicle bunching they all look like they're

[1:46:35] about to kiss each other but then their heads like jerk away at the last minute yes cats do

[1:46:39] yes uh and she gets into the the i guess the vehicle that takes you to the heavyside lair

[1:46:44] which is a hot air balloon attached to a chandelier mr mustafelis lights all the candles

[1:46:50] and she floats up and the there's a moment here where i was like and then mcavity is like no me

[1:46:55] me and he tries to hang on to it and falls off above trafalgar square and for a moment i was

[1:46:59] like are we gonna see mcavity like slam against the pavement and die me too well there's also

[1:47:05] like this is like this big dramatic moment and like idris elba like idris elba cat jumps on to

[1:47:12] like uh you know a straight piece of cloth coming off of this and it's like a moment from marmaduke

[1:47:18] or something like it becomes a totally different movie or something he tries to say his final magic

[1:47:27] phrase is he tries to use ineffable one more time and it doesn't work and then he goes

[1:47:33] oh no i guess he's not magic anymore i guess like this entire experience has taken away his

[1:47:42] ability to do magic yeah i thought i saw cartoon sweat drops appear on his forehead now now i wish

[1:47:48] he had hit the ground and then went me ouch but instead he just falls on the top of nelson's

[1:47:54] column right like that's there and all the cats have gathered around the lions of trafalgar square

[1:48:00] which are cats lines or cats too the what yeah lines of cats too what really got me here is i

[1:48:06] was like could they not get a photograph of trafalgar square like it's this crazy cgi

[1:48:11] trafalgar square and the cats look like they're made out of ir that lines look like they're made

[1:48:14] of irish spring soap like they're so bright and green and everything is so weird looking it was

[1:48:19] like this is a real place like you didn't need to like crazy it up just stick some cats around there

[1:48:25] come on yep and it is at this point that even though there has been no fourth wall breaking

[1:48:32] the entire movie judy dench suddenly looks straight into your eyes and makes you complicit

[1:48:41] in everything that has been happening and on the second watch of this i noticed that

[1:48:46] monkaStrep is very aware of her going directly to the audience and keeps sort of like

[1:48:51] looking at her quizzically and it becomes fleabag yeah so it's just like back season two

[1:48:58] i wanted to say about the reaction where did you just go i wanted to say about the reaction shots

[1:49:01] this is they they stay on this close this it's a tight shot but they still have all four actors

[1:49:08] on camera at the same time they got you know two cats on one side two guys the other side

[1:49:12] old deuteronomy is one of the middle cats and you know she's delivering this long speech to

[1:49:18] the audience and they have absolutely nothing to do so they're just staring at her very very

[1:49:25] intensely while squirming around and it looks like all the actors are like pre-orgasmic or something

[1:49:31] it's very weird if you start paying attention to them it was so strange to see so the end shot of

[1:49:36] this movie should be that the chandelier is going off into the sky and all the cats like wave goodbye

[1:49:42] and then big music big music rise and then it's out in the credits but it's like the movie is

[1:49:47] over and then judith edges like looks at the camera like all right let's go over what we

[1:49:51] learned you're probably wondering how we ended up here well let me tell you a few things about cats

[1:49:58] this is the part of the movie

[1:50:00] That is for people who wandered in thinking it was a cats instructional video for like owning cats

[1:50:05] Like how you're supposed to treat a cat?

[1:50:07] Yeah, she's she's like they sing about how cats are not dogs and i'm like seems pretty fundamental

[1:50:11] Maybe you should open the movie with that one

[1:50:13] But it's they it felt like uh to me like the end of thor ragnarok where the movie is over

[1:50:19] But taika waititi's characters still joking around and I was like movie you're over like just show me some credits get out of here

[1:50:25] But I guess this and each time judy dench

[1:50:28] Finishes a verse of this song you're like, ah and the song is over

[1:50:36] Like it feels like a bit I would do

[1:50:38] Where the song like just keeps going and every time you think it's over she starts singing. I just imagine the dan cat being like

[1:50:46] Because it is panned out and then like it goes right back to close and it's like she does an aggressive turn right

[1:50:54] It's like it pans out and you're like, oh thank god like that part is over. I felt very put on display

[1:50:59] I felt like I was in the play and I didn't want to be in the play

[1:51:03] You know what?

[1:51:03] My guess is maybe they saw the movie of into the woods

[1:51:06] where that final song about how children will listen for some reason was just

[1:51:11] Over the a wide shot and then the end credits and not really in the movie and they were like we're not doing that

[1:51:17] Every song is on camera. We are not

[1:51:20] Maybe they're look we are not skimping on it. Maybe tom hooper saw maybe tom hooper saw funny games and he's like

[1:51:26] That's what I want to do

[1:51:28] Make the audience feel like they're in the action

[1:51:33] They finally finished that song and judy and we think it's done and then judy dench reminds us that oh

[1:51:40] The storyline that has been imposed on the film is will victoria become a jellicle cat?

[1:51:46] I wonder and then she tells her that she's a jellicle cat a dear little cat

[1:51:51] That was rosebud all along and we get the final shot of the movie

[1:51:56] Which I love which is just another wide shot of that chandelier balloon

[1:52:03] Flying up to space where the cat will presumably die alone

[1:52:08] Gravity, I want gravity with jennifer

[1:52:12] Yeah, it shimmers away with magic and the end we know that she's made it to the heavyside later

[1:52:18] Which I assume turns out to be a place where alf eats cats like he's just on melmac and they're gonna eat her

[1:52:28] All this whole time this whole time old deuteronomy's just been working for the melmachians just like helping them get supplies of cats and it's

[1:52:35] terrible

[1:52:37] So

[1:52:40] Friendly fire is a podcast about war movies, but it's so much more than that

[1:52:45] It's history was just supposed to be another assignment. It's comedy under no circumstances

[1:52:51] Are you to engage the enemy? It's cinema studies?

[1:52:55] It's a hell of a combination

[1:52:56] So subscribe and download friendly fire on your podcatcher of choice or at maximumfund.org

[1:53:02] And also come see us at san francisco sketch fest on january 16th, you can get tickets at sf sketch fest.com

[1:53:14] Hi, i'm allie girtz and i'm julia prescott and we host round springfield round springfield is a new simpsons podcast

[1:53:21] That is simpsons

[1:53:23] adjacent

[1:53:24] In its topic we talk to simpsons writers directors voiceover actors

[1:53:28] You name it about non-simpsons things that they've done because surprise they're all extremely talented

[1:53:35] Absolutely, for example, david x cohen worked on the simpsons, but then created a little show called futurama

[1:53:41] That's our very first episode

[1:53:43] So tune in for stuff like that with yardley smith with sim long with different writers and voice actors

[1:53:47] It's gonna be so much fun and we are every other week on maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcasts

[1:53:56] Guys i'm, sorry that my synopsis

[1:53:59] Was so long that I wanted to talk

[1:54:01] Yeah, you're you're you're to blame. It's not the interruption. I've never wanted to talk so much about the uh

[1:54:09] I I have a lot of questions about what the premier audience. Oh, yeah, how they reacted to this movie

[1:54:14] So now it's time for our roving entertainment report reporter. Natalie walker. She's our premier princess. She goes to all the

[1:54:23] I'm gonna make room for recommendations at the end of the show

[1:54:26] But i'm gonna say that this behind the scenes stuff takes the place of letters. Let's uh, wow

[1:54:33] Oh, well, there never was a letter segment in this episode of flop house that was about cats right now

[1:54:44] Well, tell us about the premier of cats right now, which she attended a few weeks ago

[1:54:51] Bum bum bum, what was it like to see this movie? Elliot's coming up with his melody for the first time

[1:55:04] Okay, so um natalie walker is a curious cat

[1:55:14] So first of all right before the premiere, um

[1:55:19] I got drinks with lin-manuel miranda

[1:55:21] who is who I went with because his wife had no interest in seeing cats and he had seen how unhinged I was about the

[1:55:27] Trailers online and he was like you seem like you have the right mindset about this

[1:55:32] That was a connection. I was scary. I was curious with the yeah

[1:55:35] well, we had like

[1:55:36] I had watched fossey verdon at his house when he was like doing that every week having different like groups over and so he knew

[1:55:42] I wasn't a murderer

[1:55:45] And then I like did a workshop that he is working on uh in the fall and so he knew that I could be around

[1:55:50] Industry people and not uh murder them. Um, and so

[1:55:55] So that was the we've talked we've talked to him briefly through the the auspices of the macroids

[1:56:00] a very very very nice human being

[1:56:03] Uh, and and and very publicly nice so we will not ask you what his reaction exactly

[1:56:08] But i'm curious about everyone else. So we so we got my wife has talked to him about george whipple many times

[1:56:14] We got drinks we got drinks before and like he had gotten like a full dinner, but I got there a little later

[1:56:19] Um, and there was a group from universal at the table next to us

[1:56:24] and they had made a big point of coming over and being like

[1:56:27] Oh like lynn, we're so we're so glad you're coming tonight and blah and then they leave and then like

[1:56:34] 15 minutes later lynn and I get up to leave and

[1:56:37] The server comes over and is like oh that other table took care of uh, all of your stuff except mine

[1:56:45] They left my one they took care entirely of lynn and they left my single cocktail to fend for itself

[1:56:53] Wow, wow

[1:56:54] So funny to just sort of be like we don't know who that is. So fuck that

[1:56:58] Um, but then wow, what was it like being the grizzabella of that? Yeah, absolutely. I felt like I had been absolutely hissed at

[1:57:05] Uh, I was i had to crawl over to lincoln center for the premiere actually lynn was like well, you know what you got to do

[1:57:11] um

[1:57:13] so we like go we go to the premiere and

[1:57:17] So that double long island iced tea you had to pay for

[1:57:21] So I i'm sort of like raring to go we like get to our seats and

[1:57:27] i'm looking in front of us and they're first of all our row is like

[1:57:32] Andrew lloyd weber's daughter is right there and then like the niederlander family who own like half of the broadway theater

[1:57:39] Like it's just this insane row and i'm like natalie, please don't embarrass yourself tonight

[1:57:43] Please don't do anything insane like keep it together gasp when judy did start singing. Yes, exactly

[1:57:51] So then I look in the row in front of us and there's just like

[1:57:54] 10 empty seats and i'm like wow

[1:57:56] I guess a lot of people bailed on cast

[1:57:58] And then I realized as it was starting that that was the cast seats and they were all gonna be sitting right in front of us

[1:58:06] And I was like, oh no, I have to chill out but um

[1:58:10] before it started tom hooper goes on stage and introduced like all of the cast and

[1:58:18] That's when he said like this person is the first person that I cast and it's taylor swift and I was like you cast

[1:58:22] Bob ballerina first like okay, um

[1:58:25] thank you, and then he

[1:58:27] um, and then he says, uh

[1:58:30] And now like two consummate clowns rebel wilson and james corden rebel wilson walks out

[1:58:36] and everyone is sort of confused and looking around and

[1:58:40] tom clearly whispers like off mic like

[1:58:43] James and then rebel on rebel used her mic and it's just like oh james has had enough

[1:58:48] And everyone's laughing because we think it's a bit and he's gonna come out soon because he was gonna be in the audience

[1:58:54] He was at the premiere. He was photographed on the carpet and fully. No, he never came out. He

[1:59:01] Apparently left right after the red carpet

[1:59:03] Did not go see the movie, um

[1:59:06] yeah, and

[1:59:08] And then tom hooper starts talking more about the movie and he says it's it's really about the perils of tribalism

[1:59:15] and

[1:59:17] the importance of acceptance

[1:59:19] And then he brings out andrew lloyd weber and introduces andrew lloyd weber as like the reason all of us are here

[1:59:25] Andrew lloyd weber walks out and makes a point to say

[1:59:28] I

[1:59:30] Haven't even seen this movie yet

[1:59:32] so I really feel that even though I wrote the music and he's trying to say it in a way where

[1:59:37] He clearly wants everyone to perceive it as a magnanimous thing. Yeah, but what he ends up saying is

[1:59:44] so at the end of the day, I think that uh,

[1:59:47] really more even than

[1:59:49] Than my project. This is tom's movie

[1:59:52] And it's just like so it's like it comes off like tom wolf taking out those ads after bonfire the vanities came out

[1:59:59] I didn't have anything

[2:00:00] I assumed you were going to say that he comes out and be like, uh, I don't know what he was talking about.

[2:00:08] This is just a play about cats, because like, that's what he's always said.

[2:00:12] It's like the famous Hal Prince, Hal, it's about cats story where Hal Prince was like, who is this?

[2:00:18] Who are the like political stand-ins for these cats? I'm so intrigued.

[2:00:22] So who is so vain?

[2:00:30] I don't know why I didn't think about this before, but him bringing him out and being like the person while here,

[2:00:34] it makes me think that like Andrew Lloyd Webber is the Stan Lee of cats.

[2:00:37] And I wish now that he had a cameo in the movie as like a dog catcher who's like doing what I can to help you cats.

[2:00:44] So then the movie starts and already we're sort of like the perils of tribalism thing.

[2:00:55] Like Tom Hooper was clearly taking it so seriously in his speech before that everyone was a little anxious about how we were expected to perceive this cats.

[2:01:07] And it starts and thankfully, I mean, Jellicle songs is such a crazy song that is notoriously insane.

[2:01:16] And so it starts and we're all sort of like, yeah, like party song.

[2:01:21] Like this is fun. This is silly a little bit.

[2:01:24] We're like laughing and sort of trying to enjoy it audibly.

[2:01:29] And then after Jellicle songs happened, it became increasingly clear over the next like three minutes that the movie was expecting us to take it very seriously.

[2:01:40] And then it just was sort of eerily silent for most of the movie.

[2:01:46] There were there were like titters of laughter when Rebel Wilson appeared and was like scratching herself.

[2:01:51] And it's some of the improv. But for most of the movie, everyone was just like stoic.

[2:01:56] Mistoffelees, nothing. Everyone was just sort of sitting on their hands.

[2:02:01] It was really, really wild. And then that final when you don't know that Judi Dench is going to look at you.

[2:02:11] The energy in the room, it was absolutely insane.

[2:02:17] It was all that anyone was talking about at the after party.

[2:02:21] At the after party, all people were talking about, we were like, what did you do when Judi Dench looks at you?

[2:02:27] How did you perceive it?

[2:02:30] Judi Dench is like, I know why you're here.

[2:02:32] Yeah. You think this is funny, don't you?

[2:02:34] Yes. And were people lining up, you know, to talk to Tom Hooper afterwards?

[2:02:41] Well, you know what? The screen was very clean.

[2:02:45] They had like a big table at the after party and I didn't realize how famous Lynn is.

[2:02:57] And so this woman ran over and was like, Andrew and Tom want you to come over to their table now.

[2:03:04] And I was like, I can't go there right now.

[2:03:08] I had three wines during that movie and I am too scared of what I will do.

[2:03:15] And so I stayed away from that entire vicinity.

[2:03:20] But I will say Jennifer Hudson walked by me looking gorgeous and I screamed, you're iconic.

[2:03:25] She was really nice. She was like, oh, really? Thank you so much.

[2:03:30] She seemed very genuinely touched. And so I love you, Jennifer Hudson.

[2:03:34] She didn't push you over in schoolyard or something?

[2:03:37] Yeah. One time I was having this really bad weekend and I ended up being at Target in West Hollywood at like 11 p.m. on a Saturday.

[2:03:49] And I felt so uncool. I was like, I don't have anyone to hang out with.

[2:03:52] I don't know what I'm doing. And I walked down the aisle and Jennifer Hudson was in that same Target.

[2:03:58] And I just had this moment of, if Jennifer Hudson's in this Target, it's OK for me to be in this Target, too.

[2:04:05] I must be living my best life. She was just so cool and glamorous.

[2:04:10] She really is. She's iconic.

[2:04:12] She's iconic.

[2:04:13] The same as running into her at a cool party that Lin-Manuel Miranda invited you to.

[2:04:17] Target is better. I think Target is better than the Cats party.

[2:04:21] There's less existential crisis involved at a Target, I feel.

[2:04:25] To see Jennifer Hudson just pricing out generic brand toilet paper like that is just inspiring.

[2:04:31] It was so inspiring.

[2:04:32] Jennifer, you're an Oscar winner. You don't have to get Scott.

[2:04:35] You can get Charmin Ultra Soft even.

[2:04:39] Is there more stuff?

[2:04:42] I don't.

[2:04:43] So you think the people at the premiere weren't like, love it. This is great. You got a hit on your hands.

[2:04:49] Everyone was kind of aware that it was a crazy mess?

[2:04:52] Yes. Everyone was aware that it was a crazy mess, but also a lot of people were already sort of being like,

[2:04:58] this is going to be a really fun movie to go watch with friends later.

[2:05:04] What was the cast doing during the movie? How were they reacting?

[2:05:09] I did not clock what they were doing.

[2:05:12] I was so overloaded with anxieties about how I was coming off that I feel like I didn't really clock them

[2:05:21] because I was just like, please don't embarrass yourself in front of the shiny celebrities.

[2:05:26] It is also like the sun is exploding in front of your face and there's like a kid doing a cute thing.

[2:05:32] You're like, I don't know what the kid was doing. The sun was exploding in front of me.

[2:05:35] Exactly. I have never been so hyper aware of myself in a space while also being attacked.

[2:05:43] I had no idea what anyone else around me was dealing with.

[2:05:48] Only the audible things I could really pick up on, but I wish that I had looked down more often at Miss T. Swift.

[2:05:58] You didn't want to be the one leading the audience in a group cheer or anything?

[2:06:04] The closest I came was that gasp for Judi Dench because I kind of thought we all were going to be like,

[2:06:09] wow, he did it and instead it was only me.

[2:06:15] I was fist bumping during Jellicle Cats, which did lead a very old man in the row behind me to come up to me after

[2:06:23] and was like, I like watching you more than the movie.

[2:06:27] It was a very sweet old man thing to say because I really was like during the high energy moments.

[2:06:33] I was trying to be like, yeah, sure.

[2:06:38] There was a man in my row who was dressed up as Grizabella, which I felt was the correct vibe.

[2:06:43] It was like a floor length fur and full on.

[2:06:47] I'm assuming they did not play trailers before the movie.

[2:06:51] Usually at premieres they don't have the trailer.

[2:06:53] Well, they didn't show a trailer for In the Heights, the upcoming Lin-Manuel Miranda.

[2:06:58] Tom Hooper's like, thank you so much.

[2:07:00] Thank you to everyone.

[2:07:01] And now my big production.

[2:07:04] This is a movie I've spent years on, Cats.

[2:07:06] But first, what else is coming to a theater?

[2:07:10] That would be great.

[2:07:11] Also, he did say that he finished the movie at 9 a.m. the day before.

[2:07:16] Oh, wow.

[2:07:18] That was a cool thing to hear before.

[2:07:22] I'm on so much speed right now.

[2:07:23] Something of this magnitude.

[2:07:26] Look, guys, I don't want to do a traditional final judgment because I think we all really loved ourselves.

[2:07:32] That sounds weird.

[2:07:33] Loved seeing this.

[2:07:36] But I just want to say, I want to give a little space for some final outpouring about Cats.

[2:07:44] I will tell this story.

[2:07:47] I came home from Cats having a great time with Stu and Charlene and Audrey.

[2:07:52] As I was going to bed, I have sleep apnea, as many know.

[2:07:57] You're Dan the Sleep Apnea Cat.

[2:07:59] The last thing before—

[2:08:00] There's a certain cat who doesn't sleep well.

[2:08:03] Sleep breathing for him is a sort of a hell.

[2:08:06] He's Dan the Sleep Apnea Cat.

[2:08:09] What's that machine on that cat's face?

[2:08:13] I make a decision.

[2:08:16] I'm going to bed.

[2:08:18] This is the last thing I'm going to say before I put a mask on my face.

[2:08:21] I said, I wonder what dreams about cats I'll have tonight.

[2:08:24] The first thing I said the next morning was, it was something about cats.

[2:08:29] I can't remember what it was.

[2:08:30] I'll have to ask Audrey.

[2:08:31] She has videos of me two days afterwards hysterically laughing about the word jellicle and why they kept saying it over and over again.

[2:08:41] Me singing songs.

[2:08:43] These were half-secretly taken.

[2:08:45] Maybe I'll post them after the thing comes out.

[2:08:48] My social media was all about cats.

[2:08:50] I just descended into cat madness.

[2:08:52] You did get cat scratch fever, Dan.

[2:08:54] Your Twitter was just about cats.

[2:08:56] I have not laughed at something so hard and had such a fun time in years and years and years.

[2:09:03] You have to just face yourself.

[2:09:06] At a certain point, if you've had that good a time watching a movie, you just like that movie.

[2:09:12] You know what?

[2:09:14] Dan, I'm going to suggest we skip straight to recommendations because my recommendation for this episode is cats.

[2:09:20] I think maybe it's the first time I've ever said, you know what movie I'm going to recommend?

[2:09:24] The one we talked about in this movie.

[2:09:26] People have got to go out and see cats.

[2:09:28] I would recommend seeing cats while you can see it in the theater.

[2:09:30] That is not expressly a call and response thing.

[2:09:34] We went to Alamo in L.A. last night, and the showing after ours was the quote-unquote rowdy screening.

[2:09:42] They were already starting to do the call-and-response type things.

[2:09:45] I think it's really fun to go with a group of people where some people might still be there to see cats.

[2:09:50] You want to be part of that legendary first-generation of filmgoers to see cats sincerely.

[2:09:55] You want the assholes to get shushed when Jennifer Hudson does her solo.

[2:10:00] these two fucking nut sacks sitting behind me at once like

[2:10:04] right in the final scene of the movie one of the guys like

[2:10:07] this is going to be the next rocky horror picture show and I'm like not if

[2:10:11] you're fucking there dude

[2:10:15] you want to see it when you're laughing and someone behind you goes

[2:10:17] show Skimbleshank some respect

[2:10:20] no but I came to a realization I'm just like

[2:10:23] you know I could see this movie again and again I kinda wanna own it

[2:10:27] when it comes out I want to watch all of the special features I want the

[2:10:31] commentary I want everything

[2:10:33] you want that Criterion collection version

[2:10:36] yes I want to consume everything about this

[2:10:37] there like there will be moments where I'm going about my day

[2:10:41] and just images from this movie pop into my head and it just makes my whole day

[2:10:46] when I think about Skimbleshank spinning into dust it makes me laugh so much

[2:10:52] I will just like be end of the fell when I like the way that I could not get through it even on this podcast

[2:10:59] there was like a whole day where out of nowhere I started thinking about it on

[2:11:03] the street and I had to stop and get into like I crouched down in the middle of the

[2:11:10] sidewalk because it was making me laugh so hard

[2:11:14] classic Manhattan moment

[2:11:16] it's truly just like the most joy that I can that I can possibly possibly have

[2:11:21] it's like seeing Cats is the first time I really felt like I understand the characters in Ringu

[2:11:25] where it's like oh yeah they saw something and it infested their brain and they can't deal with anything else now

[2:11:30] like stumbling out of that theater I was like how do I just go on and do normal stuff

[2:11:36] like it's so boring

[2:11:42] I mean yeah that's Cats guys

[2:11:45] look it's a Cats world we're just living in

[2:11:48] I have a recommendation it feels kind of anticlimactic but it does sort of tie into musical theater

[2:11:53] what?

[2:11:55] she says she also has a recommendation

[2:11:57] you're not alone

[2:11:59] it's not five recommendations for Cats

[2:12:03] I just can't remember having ever seen another movie

[2:12:07] I would like to recommend there's a documentary called Best Worst Thing That Could Have Happened

[2:12:12] is that your recommendation?

[2:12:14] holy shit

[2:12:15] because it's a perfect title for this movie as well

[2:12:18] well we can talk about it sort of in tandem

[2:12:21] you know it's about the production the original production of Merrily We Whirl Along

[2:12:27] the Stephen Sondheim musical that legendarily closed it was like six days or eight days

[2:12:33] yeah yeah and it was in 1981 so it's coming off of the huge success of Sweeney Todd

[2:12:40] it was him and Hal Prince this movie basically like destroyed their working relationship

[2:12:43] this musical basically destroyed their working relationship a little bit

[2:12:47] it was like a really personal loss for Hal Prince because his daughter was in it

[2:12:50] he cast his daughter in this cast

[2:12:52] because it's this musical that goes backward in time

[2:12:58] and sort of long before the last five years

[2:13:01] and like especially before that became like a more popular structure

[2:13:08] for most like movies and musicals

[2:13:11] but it was a colossal failure

[2:13:15] because you're supposed to be tracking the trajectory backwards of this group of friends

[2:13:20] and you meet them when they're these like unbelievably bitter cynical middle-aged people

[2:13:27] and then you go backwards so the finale of the show is meeting them as these like bright-eyed

[2:13:32] bushy-tailed college kids

[2:13:35] but the conceit of the show they cast all of these like 20 year olds

[2:13:39] because they cast it like it was gonna start when they're 20

[2:13:42] and so then the show began with seeing 20 year olds in like

[2:13:48] drawn-on wrinkles like old person cosplay

[2:13:51] like doing this stuff and it just is such a failure

[2:13:56] but the lead guy also had like filmmaker aspirations

[2:14:01] and thought this was gonna be a huge deal

[2:14:03] so he took a ton of behind-the-scenes footage during the rehearsal process

[2:14:07] yeah and you may know the director of this film

[2:14:11] as the guy who wants to be a Broadway producer in the Muppet Steak Manhattan

[2:14:18] the human being male lead in that movie

[2:14:22] not Dabney Coleman

[2:14:23] no

[2:14:24] he said human being Elliot

[2:14:26] but the thing about this

[2:14:29] but the thing about the documentary is

[2:14:31] because these people were basically kids when they were cast

[2:14:35] and they're like they're old people now looking back on their career

[2:14:39] and looking back on this experience

[2:14:41] it's like it's flipping the musical you know

[2:14:45] it's not you know young people playing old people looking back

[2:14:49] it's old people actually looking back at the time

[2:14:51] that they're young people playing old people looking back

[2:14:53] and so there's all this like genuine you know emotional feeling

[2:14:58] about the way time passes and what it means

[2:15:00] and also it's interesting to see like

[2:15:02] they're very successful people in the cast

[2:15:04] Jason Alexander was in the cast

[2:15:06] Giancarlo Esposito was in the cast

[2:15:09] people for whom this kind of was a dead end in their career

[2:15:13] and both of those groups of people have major regrets about their lives

[2:15:18] and it's sort of in a depressing way

[2:15:20] like it shows that you know

[2:15:23] you can do anything with your life

[2:15:25] and still kind of look back on these things with regret

[2:15:28] but still also you know have wonderful memories

[2:15:31] I don't know

[2:15:33] even if you're all alone in the moonlight

[2:15:35] yeah

[2:15:37] no it's just great

[2:15:39] I'm so glad that that was yours too

[2:15:41] it's a really good one

[2:15:43] it's available to watch on Netflix anytime

[2:15:45] it's really really excellent and heartbreaking

[2:15:49] and also the score of Merrily We Roll Along is great

[2:15:52] so there's a very good song for you

[2:15:54] in Merrily We Roll Along Elliot

[2:15:56] you would do a very good Franklin Shepard Inc

[2:15:58] he would be an awesome Franklin Shepard

[2:16:00] I've been saying it for years

[2:16:02] I love Merrily

[2:16:04] it's one of those shows that I've always been meaning to like listen to music

[2:16:06] and I just haven't

[2:16:08] it was one of my high school yearbook quotes

[2:16:10] I was deeply unpopular

[2:16:12] no it was one of mine

[2:16:14] what a time to be starting out

[2:16:16] what a time to be alive

[2:16:18] I like that song very much

[2:16:20] and I saw

[2:16:22] what I think is a pretty good production

[2:16:24] of the musical recently

[2:16:26] but I don't

[2:16:28] really like the musical that much

[2:16:30] despite liking a lot of Sondheim's stuff

[2:16:32] but the documentary on it

[2:16:34] made me appreciate it

[2:16:36] a lot more

[2:16:38] I also recommend

[2:16:40] there's a video of Rallis Sparza doing Franklin Shepard Inc

[2:16:42] that is I think the best version

[2:16:44] I think you'll relate to it

[2:16:46] because it's about somebody who cannot stand their writing partner

[2:16:48] it's very much our relationship

[2:16:50] finally

[2:16:52] someone's put my thoughts and feelings into words and music

[2:16:54] yeah outside of

[2:16:56] when it comes to my recommendation

[2:16:58] this week

[2:17:00] outside of Disney Plus' Encore

[2:17:02] I don't have much musical theater related

[2:17:04] I really want to see that

[2:17:06] Stewart we have to do

[2:17:08] it's great

[2:17:10] between Younger

[2:17:12] we'll do our Younger podcast and then our Encore podcast

[2:17:14] I'm going to recommend

[2:17:16] a classic Stewart movie

[2:17:18] I'm going to recommend

[2:17:20] the 2019 remake of the movie

[2:17:22] Black Christmas

[2:17:24] this is a

[2:17:26] the original Black Christmas

[2:17:28] was a foundational slasher movie

[2:17:30] it was remade back in

[2:17:32] 2001 or 2

[2:17:34] it was recently remade

[2:17:36] it was co-written by Friend of the Flophouse

[2:17:38] and Max Fun alum

[2:17:40] April Wolf

[2:17:42] it is a modern take

[2:17:44] on the sorority slasher

[2:17:46] it's fun

[2:17:48] it's gross

[2:17:50] and it provides a different perspective

[2:17:52] on that kind of a horror movie

[2:17:54] I don't want to go too into the plot

[2:17:56] and I also recommend not watching the trailer

[2:17:58] because it kind of goes too into the plot

[2:18:00] but if you get a chance

[2:18:02] if you like horror movies and you also

[2:18:04] are interested in watching horror movies

[2:18:06] from a female perspective

[2:18:08] I would totally check out

[2:18:10] Black Christmas

[2:18:12] Anyone else or just cats?

[2:18:14] Jenny, do you have another?

[2:18:16] Sincerely just cats

[2:18:18] That's two for cats

[2:18:20] I feel like just cats is

[2:18:22] underselling it, Dan

[2:18:24] Only cats

[2:18:26] It was my theatrical

[2:18:28] experience of the decade

[2:18:30] Just while it's still in theaters

[2:18:32] go in theaters, go have that experience

[2:18:34] The image that was on all the ads

[2:18:36] and the posters is like these two cats

[2:18:38] and the pupils are people dancing

[2:18:40] I feel like that's what my eyes

[2:18:42] must look like all the time

[2:18:44] cats dancing constantly

[2:18:46] I want to go again, it was like a ride

[2:18:48] Also please watch, there's a commercial

[2:18:50] for the Broadway production of Cats

[2:18:52] where they did a tie-in

[2:18:54] against drunk driving

[2:18:56] and it's all the cats warning

[2:18:58] people against drunk driving

[2:19:00] and they're like, if you're a drunk driver

[2:19:02] you could kill a child, a child

[2:19:04] a child, please

[2:19:06] don't let a child be just a

[2:19:08] memory

[2:19:10] it literally comes in, it's

[2:19:12] insane and I hope that you do

[2:19:14] that as the play out of this

[2:19:16] because really just the audio even

[2:19:18] will give it to you, it's

[2:19:20] incredible, it's incredible, everything

[2:19:22] related to cats is my life, now cats is

[2:19:24] my god and my disease

[2:19:28] We'll quickly do some

[2:19:30] you know, just

[2:19:32] plugging to the show and the network before

[2:19:34] saying goodbye to everyone

[2:19:36] and thanking our guests, but

[2:19:38] go to maximumfun.org

[2:19:40] listen to the other shows on our

[2:19:42] network, they're all wonderful

[2:19:44] like, I don't know, Switchblade Sisters?

[2:19:46] Yeah, do it!

[2:19:48] Other movie

[2:19:50] podcasts, if that's your thing

[2:19:52] man

[2:19:54] go to iTunes

[2:19:56] you know, give us a good review

[2:19:58] we hope

[2:20:00] Tweet about us, tweet about cats, like I've been doing for the past two weeks, you know.

[2:20:06] Leave a nice review for us on iTunes, why not?

[2:20:09] And we should thank our two guests, Jenny Jaffe and Natalie Walker.

[2:20:15] Our great editor is Jordan Cowling.

[2:20:18] We are a product of Us on the Maximum Fun Network.

[2:20:21] As Dan said, listen to those.

[2:20:23] And, you guys, I hate to break it to you, but what would you say, Dan?

[2:20:28] No, I wanted to extend our guests a bit more of a fulsome thank you for being on the show because it would not…

[2:20:36] Dan, usually you don't even want to introduce the guests, so I'm just surprised.

[2:20:39] We would not have had…

[2:20:40] Yeah, I hand you their credits and you throw it in the garbage.

[2:20:44] We would not have had such a fun time nor would it have been such a good show without Natalie and Jenny.

[2:20:50] Do you guys have anything you want to plug before we sign off?

[2:20:55] No, please just the movie Cats.

[2:20:57] Okay, just the Cats.

[2:20:58] Just spreading the gospel of Cats.

[2:21:01] Well, guys, I unfortunately have to go.

[2:21:04] I was chosen as the Jellicle Choice.

[2:21:06] No, you?

[2:21:08] Wow.

[2:21:09] You're the worst one.

[2:21:10] That was tough.

[2:21:11] Yeah, I'm Elliot, the culturally Jewish cat.

[2:21:15] There's been a hot air balloon with a chandelier under it waiting for me.

[2:21:19] There's got to be some kind of filter fish.

[2:21:21] Their dances are just batting at a dreidel, putting it under the sofa.

[2:21:28] You have the curls.

[2:21:30] Yeah.

[2:21:31] Oh, wow.

[2:21:32] Yeah, we've really figured out this Jewish cat.

[2:21:37] I guess that's it, guys.

[2:21:39] Yeah.

[2:21:40] Thanks for…

[2:21:41] Okay, so who are you?

[2:21:42] Oh, sorry.

[2:21:43] I've been Dan McCoy.

[2:21:44] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[2:21:47] And I'm Elliot Kaelin, the ending the show cat.

[2:21:50] See ya.

[2:21:52] Bye.

[2:21:53] Bye.

[2:21:54] Meow.

[2:21:56] McCavity.

[2:21:57] Ineffable.

[2:21:58] Magic.

[2:22:00] All the sky is dark, for all the stars are in Flophouse Theater.

[2:22:31] Comedy and culture.

[2:22:32] Artist owned.

[2:22:33] Audience supported.

Ep. #302 - Cats

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