Ep# 311: Rambo: Last Blood

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Rambo, Last Blood.

[0:05] The series that once again proves that all you need is a sufficiently angry and armed American to solve any foreign country's problems.

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[0:42] Oh, hey everyone. It's me, Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:44] And coming to you live from Los Strangeles, Hollyweird, it's Elliot Kalin.

[0:50] But we've got a special guest with us today, don't we, Daniel?

Dan McCoy

[0:54] Yes, we do. You know him as one of the directors of American Pie,

[0:59] uncredited, as IMDb says, as the director of About a Boy,

[1:04] one of the writers of Rogue One, a Star Wars story.

[1:08] But most Flophouse listeners will know him as the man behind the Twilight Saga New Moon,

[1:14] which led him to us today.

Chris Weitz

[1:16] Led him to our doorstep.

[1:19] You guys left out the colon, but that's okay.

[1:22] Twilight Saga, colon New Moon.

[1:24] And guys, I just want to say to all the listeners, welcome to the special three-hour debate.

[1:28] Debate episode in which I defend New Moon point by point.

[1:33] I think it's just wonderful that you guys now, in this time of national crisis,

[1:37] are inviting directors to sort of, you know, really hash things out with you,

[1:42] maybe change some minds.

Elliott Kalan

[1:45] Originally, this was going to be like an Uwe Bolls-style boxing match,

[1:49] where you would take each of us on.

[1:51] But because of the virus, we're just going to do it over the internet.

Stuart Wellington

[1:54] Yeah, what's the order in that boss fight he has to do?

[1:58] Who's the, I'm assuming...

[1:59] Of course I'm first.

[2:01] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[2:01] Because I'm the easiest to take out, so I assume I'm the first one.

[2:04] You're the Glass Joe of the Flophouse.

[2:07] I'm the one where I walk into the ring and trip over the ropes and hurt myself.

[2:11] I'm going to have to be carried out.

Dan McCoy

[2:12] The thing is, like, Chris is trying to shame us for making fun of his movie.

[2:18] But, like, to our, on our end of things, like, things worked out great.

[2:23] Like, you know, we made fun of this movie.

[2:26] Chris wrote us a letter.

[2:27] We ended up hanging out with him a few times.

[2:30] He took us to dinner.

[2:32] Stuart, you know, like, has seen his house, even.

[2:34] Like, it's a wonderful...

[2:35] I've also seen his house, Dan.

[2:37] I've also seen his house.

Stuart Wellington

[2:38] I saw it through that drone I was flying over.

Dan McCoy

[2:42] I'm just saying, like, if he has tried to make us stop, you know, hassling people,

[2:49] he has gone about the absolute wrong way because we are being rewarded for our bad behavior.

Chris Weitz

[2:54] That's all something I like to call the long con.

[2:57] Oh, no.

[2:57] I've got all three of you in my sights right here.

[3:01] You'll see that gas has released into each of your office rooms.

[3:06] Oh.

[3:06] And you're being abducted and taken to an island where you will be hunted down by the elite

[3:13] who are willing to pay millions.

Stuart Wellington

[3:16] If only some movie or short story had prepared me for that kind of a situation.

Elliott Kalan

[3:22] Dan, did we ever say the name of our guest?

Dan McCoy

[3:25] Chris Weitz.

[3:27] You know what?

[3:27] I had the same worry.

[3:29] I don't know.

[3:30] We can check the tape later.

Elliott Kalan

[3:32] So, but I, for one, am really looking forward to this survival hunt that will be going on.

[3:39] Oh, yeah.

[3:39] It'll be fun.

[3:40] I mean, it's not all bad.

[3:41] Yeah, yeah.

[3:41] No, I mean, it's sun, I assume beautiful surroundings, unless this is one of those ones where we go

[3:46] to a burnt out city.

[3:48] It depends on the budget, usually.

Chris Weitz

[3:51] In all the hunts that I've been on, you know, you want a big whale to really get you into

[3:57] the Maldives or someplace really nice.

[3:59] Otherwise, you're in Chernobyl, then you're dealing with mutants, all kinds of stuff.

Stuart Wellington

[4:04] I mean, I mean, or like the Japanese government could fund it to get rid of us.

[4:09] That would be a way to cut down on the Flophouse population.

Chris Weitz

[4:12] Yeah.

[4:13] Yes, but then you have to pretend to be misbehaving Japanese school kids first to get into the

[4:18] BR program.

Elliott Kalan

[4:19] I think we could pull it off.

[4:20] I think we could pull it off.

Stuart Wellington

[4:22] I've played enough JRPGs in my time.

[4:25] I know what to do.

Elliott Kalan

[4:28] I've read enough of Cromartie High School.

[4:30] I know what it's like to be like a bad boy in Japan.

[4:33] Okay.

[4:34] So, as Dan mentioned, years ago, we covered the underrated by us movie.

[4:41] Misunderstood, I think, is the word you're looking for.

[4:44] Misunderstood.

[4:44] And if you want a masterpiece, maybe.

[4:47] It's the movie that's often been called the cornerstone and the archstone of the Twilight

[4:51] saga.

[4:52] Wow.

[4:52] Both stones.

[4:54] Both stones.

[4:54] It's both in the corner and the middle.

Dan McCoy

[4:57] It turned out Chris was a listener already.

Elliott Kalan

[4:59] It turned out you were a listener and you wrote us a letter, a very nice letter, handwritten.

[5:04] I remember it being.

Dan McCoy

[5:05] Yeah.

[5:05] I have it actually in a place of prominence in my home still.

Elliott Kalan

[5:09] He keeps it under his bed.

[5:13] To ward off demons or witches?

[5:15] Which was it, Dan?

[5:16] Or both?

Dan McCoy

[5:17] To ward off snitches, actually.

[5:19] Oh, wow.

[5:20] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[5:21] He keeps it under there in case there's ever a home invasion situation.

[5:24] He can go hide under his bed, grab it, and then show the home invaders that he's actually

[5:28] really cool.

[5:29] Back off.

[5:30] I know vampires.

Chris Weitz

[5:31] Of course.

[5:32] Well, as I think I may have told you guys, I don't think it was in my letter, but I think

[5:36] it was a bit that I listened with great glee to the Flophouse for a long time.

[5:43] And I told a friend of mine about it.

[5:45] I said, oh, you've got to check this out.

[5:46] And then he called back a couple of days later and said, have you heard all of the episodes?

[5:50] And I said, no.

[5:51] Why would you say that?

[5:52] And then it turned out that I was hoist by my own podcast petard.

[5:57] And then I had a real dilemma in my life, which was, was I going to listen to the episode?

[6:02] Was I going to submit myself to the treatments that I had submitted others to, to enjoy their

[6:09] shellacking at your guys' hands?

[6:12] And I'm glad I did.

[6:15] And I'm glad that we find ourselves here.

[6:17] And, you know, I think that we all have to try to do things to unite the country at this

[6:21] point.

Dan McCoy

[6:22] And if, hey, listen, this may not be such a big deal, but, but for, for a bad movie podcast

Chris Weitz

[6:28] and a director whose movie was mocked, if they can get together, why can't China release accurate

[6:37] statistics about the COVID virus?

Elliott Kalan

[6:39] Oh, wow.

[6:40] If we could reach across the aisle from creators like you to leeches like us, who merely, who

[6:45] really criticize other people's work, everybody can, right?

Dan McCoy

[6:49] You know, before I claimed that I didn't feel guilty, but now Chris's unfailing kindness

[6:53] and gentlemanly attitude has made me feel a little guilty.

Elliott Kalan

[6:57] I should have listened to the episode again before we recorded because I forgot what we

[7:01] said.

[7:02] It's okay.

Chris Weitz

[7:02] I have it, I have it fresh in my mind.

Elliott Kalan

[7:04] I listen to it every morning as I get psyched up and I prepare my, my murder tunnels for

Chris Weitz

[7:12] when I, I tempt you guys to come over.

[7:14] I've got all of these special kind of spike traps and explosives and things.

Stuart Wellington

[7:18] You listen to it while you're like dunking your tar, uh, tar covered fist wraps in like

[7:23] broken glass and gummy bears and whatnot.

Elliott Kalan

[7:26] Okay.

[7:27] That was a perfect segue into our movie.

[7:28] And then Stuart turned into a joke about hot shots part two, I think.

Stuart Wellington

[7:32] Oh, I'm going to talk a lot about that.

Elliott Kalan

[7:34] So, um, but let's talk about, Dan, what do we do on this podcast?

[7:38] Other than, uh, other than get hoist on our own petard.

[7:41] Yeah.

[7:42] Although it strikes me that this is like the sequel to an O Henry, like a 21st century O

[7:48] Henry story.

[7:49] Like the 21st century O Henry story would be like, I love this podcast where they make fun

[7:52] of movies.

[7:52] They're making fun of my movie.

[7:54] And then the sequel would be where we're like, Hey, we can make fun of whoever we want.

[7:58] Oh, he's here.

[7:59] Oh no.

[7:59] And then I guess there would be a third one for a trilogy.

[8:02] I don't know what would happen.

Chris Weitz

[8:03] That's where I, I, I shaved my head to buy you guys, um, a microphone and you send me

[8:09] a, a comb to put in my beautiful hair.

Elliott Kalan

[8:12] That's what it is.

Stuart Wellington

[8:13] And weirdly enough, you've managed to turn us into walrus men by the end of it.

Elliott Kalan

[8:19] Yeah.

[8:19] I forgot.

[8:20] Oh, Henry has a, had a story by credit on Tusk.

Dan McCoy

[8:23] I'm glad you went, uh, way classier Elliot and not the, um, Saturday night live thing

[8:29] that you hate where someone is making fun of some other celebrity and then it's like,

[8:33] Oh, here they are.

[8:34] The real celebrity.

[8:35] Oh boy.

[8:36] Right behind them.

Elliott Kalan

[8:37] Not a fan of that.

[8:38] Not a fan of it at all.

[8:39] But anyway, so Dan, what do we do in this podcast?

Dan McCoy

[8:42] Uh, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and like the, like Twilight New Moon.

[8:47] Uh, I was gonna, I was actually going to say, and boy, howdy, uh, this time we, we

[8:52] watched something so much, so, so much like Twilight New Moon is a new classic.

Elliott Kalan

[8:58] This is a, I would watch a million Twilight New Moons before watching this movie again.

[9:02] I wouldn't do that.

[9:04] Maybe like a, maybe a thousand.

[9:06] Uh, this, so, and what movie did we watch Dan as if it wasn't announced?

[9:10] We watched Rambo Last Blood.

[9:12] Now.

[9:13] The last?

Chris Weitz

[9:14] Well, let me give you guys a little insight, a little Hollywood insight here, a little,

[9:18] a little inside baseball.

[9:20] Inside buzz.

[9:21] Yeah, you, you probably don't know this, but when you put last or final in the title

[9:25] of your movie, you're actually not legally allowed to make any more movies in that franchise.

[9:29] Wow, really?

[9:29] So that, whenever someone does that, that means they're gonna leave it all out on the

[9:33] floor.

[9:34] They're gonna absolutely do their very best to make the best film in the series.

Elliott Kalan

[9:37] Yeah, like, like Final Destination.

[9:39] Yeah.

[9:40] When they made Rise of Skywalker, that tripped the trap, because they'd already made Last

[9:46] Jedi.

[9:47] And so they made Rise of Skywalker, and the system was like, hmm, this isn't gonna work

[9:50] out.

[9:50] Yep.

[9:50] You're trying to break the rules.

[9:52] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[9:52] Yeah.

[9:52] When they made Freddy's Dead, they never made any more Nightmare on Elm Street movies after

[9:56] that.

[9:57] Well, I'm about to hear...

[9:58] And Jason went to hell and didn't come back.

Chris Weitz

[9:58] Perfect example is The Last Emperor.

[10:01] There was never a sequel to that.

[10:03] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[10:05] Not even a...

[10:05] Where's the prequel?

[10:06] The first Emperor.

Stuart Wellington

[10:07] I pitched Save the Last Dance 2, but they said they couldn't make it legally, so I'm like,

[10:13] okay.

Chris Weitz

[10:13] Yeah.

[10:13] It had to be Save the Penultimate Dance.

[10:16] You have to start going further back.

[10:17] Perry Penultimate.

Elliott Kalan

[10:18] That happened to me with The Last of Sheila, New Moon, and it just couldn't get off the ground.

Dan McCoy

[10:26] Yeah, so this is...

[10:28] Elliot, you have a particular connection to the Rambo character, do you not?

Elliott Kalan

[10:34] I don't know if I would say connection.

[10:36] He's a character that I find fascinating because he is such a blatant fantasy figure, but also

[10:42] if ever there was a character that went so far afield of its original intention where

[10:48] the first movie is about a man haunted by a war he was in who is mistreated by people

[10:54] who think he's a freak now, and he goes on a rampage.

[10:57] And the next...

[10:58] Every other movie in the series is like, remember when he was blowing stuff up?

[11:02] Wasn't that amazing?

[11:03] Yeah.

[11:04] And so by this movie, he's just like an unstoppable killing machine.

[11:07] He's basically the old man punished.

[11:08] Let's just take all the best parts and make a movie out of it.

Dan McCoy

[11:10] And the movie, even this movie sort of pays perfunctory lip service to the idea like, oh, war ruins

[11:20] a man.

[11:21] I can't see anything good in the world anymore.

[11:23] But that's all just in the service of making him a more awesome, unstoppable killing machine

[11:30] in the mind of this film.

Elliott Kalan

[11:31] Yeah.

[11:31] Well, this movie, it has the weird thing of feeling like Rambo fan fiction that they somehow

[11:37] got Sylvester Stallone to do.

[11:39] Like the character feels so a little off normal.

[11:43] And also the story is so not a Ram...

[11:45] It's like real death wish of a story and not a Rambo story.

[11:49] Because Rambo stories are usually...

[11:50] I mean, the first one, again, he's a drifter.

[11:53] He gets bullied and he kills a lot of people.

[11:55] In Rambo's two through four, it's like Rambo.

[11:58] There's a problem only a Rambo can solve.

[12:00] We got to drop Rambo in.

[12:02] And Rambo's like, you got it.

[12:03] I'm going to team up with the Muhadine.

[12:05] This isn't going to get any backfire on us.

[12:08] This is going to be great.

[12:09] And then this one, it's like, it's just an out and out revenge story that has a little

[12:13] gloss of foreign interventionism in it.

Dan McCoy

[12:16] Yeah.

[12:17] And I've been trying to remember to do this when I can.

[12:21] Just like a little content warning.

[12:23] I don't think we're going to get deep into it.

[12:24] I hope not.

[12:25] But there is rape in this movie.

[12:29] There is a lot of xenophobia.

[12:33] Just be aware.

Elliott Kalan

[12:34] Yeah.

[12:34] And the thing is, the movie didn't have to be that way.

[12:37] We'll get into how...

[12:38] No, not at all.

[12:39] We'll get into how ugly this film is.

[12:41] But so Rambo, this Rambo was gestating for a long time.

[12:45] Which is adorable to me, the idea of a little Rambo baby just waiting to be born.

[12:49] Ram baby.

[12:50] And he's like, do we get to be born this time?

[12:52] And that kind of stuff.

[12:53] Yeah, Ram baby.

[12:55] Dan, did I...

[12:56] Actually, Dan, I do have a connection with Rambo.

[12:57] Did I ever tell you guys about...

[12:59] I must have at some point.

[13:00] The Bushbow series of videos that I did when I was a kid.

Dan McCoy

[13:02] No, but I was thinking about how you would do the Rambo room, Ramble room thing.

Elliott Kalan

[13:07] Yeah, so actually, when I was an adolescent, me and a friend of mine, he had a George Bush

[13:12] Senior mask, because George Bush Jr. didn't exist yet.

[13:15] And George Bush Senior mask, and we made a series of videos...

[13:18] I mean, he existed.

[13:19] I mean, yeah, I guess, technically.

[13:23] I thought he sprang out of his father's head, fully formed, right before the 2000 election.

[13:28] If George Bush falls in the forest, Stuart, does he make a sound?

[13:31] Probably, because he's in the forest cutting down trees with a chainsaw.

[13:35] Or he goes, ow, ow.

[13:38] Owie, ow, ow.

[13:39] Yeah, because that's what he sounds like.

[13:41] When my friend Adam and I, he had a George Bush mask, and so right after the 1992 election,

[13:47] when I was about 11, I guess, we made a series of videos called Bushbow, where George Bush

[13:53] was so mad about losing the election that he became a vigilante and was fighting crime.

[13:58] And fast forward to when I would do one-man shows, kind of one-man shows in New York,

[14:03] and I had a bit called The Ramble Room, where I would reveal my biggest fears and anxieties.

[14:11] And then to overcome the shame I felt from that, I would then enter the Rambo Room,

[14:15] which was just me pretending to be Rambo, and doing a kind of mangled version of the monologue

[14:19] from the end of the first movie, where he's like, oh, my friend, he was getting a shoe shine,

[14:23] and they blew his shoes up, and then they came back, and they spit on us,

[14:26] and they call us baby killers and crap.

[14:28] And so, yeah, I mean, I've always been fascinated by Sylvester Stallone.

Chris Weitz

[14:32] But he's also, I mean, Sylvester Stallone occasionally stops by the studio, doesn't he?

Elliott Kalan

[14:37] I mean, these guys tell me, but I've never been here when it happens.

[14:41] That's the thing.

[14:42] You missed it.

Chris Weitz

[14:42] It's been pretty great.

[14:44] I wanted, I was hoping to find out how he's doing with his soft heart disease,

[14:49] whether that's a pre-existing condition.

Elliott Kalan

[14:52] Especially now, that increases his health risk, the fact that his heart is soft like a cheese,

[14:56] I think he said at one point, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[14:58] And his love of Tostitos, I wonder how that might have played into some of the locations of this movie.

[15:06] And you brought up the first Rambo movie, First Blood, which starred Brian Dennehy, RIP, right?

Elliott Kalan

[15:14] That's true, who just passed away this week.

[15:16] So this is a really timely time.

[15:19] We're talking about Rambo last blood.

[15:20] It is the timeless time.

[15:21] But I did some research, and it turns out that they've been working on this.

[15:24] So this Rambo movie had been gestating for a long time.

[15:27] At one point, it was called Rambo the Savage Hunt, and it was going to be about him leading a team of hunters to find a genetically modified kind of half-human creature.

[15:36] And it's like, why didn't they make that movie?

[15:38] It also would not have felt like a Rambo movie.

[15:40] That would have been the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull of Rambo movies, but I would have loved it so much more.

Chris Weitz

[15:44] Instead, that's the attitude that the movie takes towards Mexicans.

[15:47] Yes.

[15:48] Half-human, genetically modified freaks.

Elliott Kalan

[15:51] And at some point, he teamed up Sylvester Sly, I call him.

[15:55] I've never met him, but he's Sly like a fox.

[15:58] Sly teamed up with Rambo's creator, David Morell, and they were going to make what Wikipedia just quotes Sylvester Stallone as saying it was going to be a soulful journey for John Rambo.

[16:07] But the producer said, no, we want to do this human trafficking story.

[16:10] So I guess Sylvester Stallone just said, okay, fine, I don't care.

[16:14] And apparently, well, I guess, should we...

Stuart Wellington

[16:17] Well, at least the story you're describing plays on the themes of the Rambo character.

Elliott Kalan

[16:24] Yes.

[16:24] Yeah.

[16:25] Which is a man who can only express his post-traumatic stress disorder from war by just mowing down people.

[16:32] Yeah.

[16:33] There's the scenes at the end of the last Rambo movie, which was just called Rambo.

[16:38] Rambo Balboa?

[16:40] Yes, called Rambo Balboa.

Dan McCoy

[16:42] By the way, Elliot, I think that you and I saw Rambo together, right?

[16:45] I think we might have, yeah.

[16:46] That was one of the first, like, early in our friendship.

[16:49] And that movie also has some xenophobic elements, but it's so much more fun because it, like, eschews, like, just destroying the female lead, as this movie does.

[17:02] It does not do that.

[17:03] And it is so absurdly violent.

Elliott Kalan

[17:06] Yeah.

[17:06] There's a part at the end where Rambo is just standing with a huge machine gun, with a truck-mounted machine gun, just tearing apart wave after wave of enemy Burmese soldiers running after him.

[17:17] And he gets shot in the shoulder, and he just keeps mowing them down, and he just runs out of bad guys to shoot.

[17:22] Like, that's just how it ends.

[17:23] It ends with him running out of bad guys.

[17:25] And then he's just standing there, looking with his hand on his shoulder, and for the life of me, it looked like they had shaved a bear and put a T-shirt on him.

[17:32] And just had him stand there and, like, look.

[17:34] There's a part in that movie where he is sneaking around the enemy camp, and he's, like, under a bridge, and it looks like the Frankenstein monster escaped.

Stuart Wellington

[17:42] Like, that was when Sly was really HGH-ing it up.

Elliott Kalan

[17:45] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[17:46] The storyboards were by Bernie Wrightson.

Chris Weitz

[17:50] He doesn't look exactly small here.

[17:53] He's still pretty.

[17:54] No, no, but he's.

Elliott Kalan

[17:55] Well, that's why at the end, at their occasionally moments, especially at the end credits, they show you scenes from First Blood, and he looks like a normal, relatively normal human being.

[18:02] Yeah.

[18:03] And the thing that the scenes from First Blood really brought home to me is, like, he's always had kind of beautiful eyes, these, like, big doe eyes for, like, a tough guy.

[18:10] And so, in the past, he's been able to be kind of like a somewhat emotionally wounded tough guy.

[18:16] But in this one, he's just, it's just Logan Unforgiven, you know, stuff.

[18:20] But we'll get to that.

[18:21] So, the foreign version of this movie begins with John Rambo saving a missing hiker from a flood, and that triggers his PTSD.

[18:29] We don't get to see that scene in the American version of it.

[18:31] Oh.

[18:31] Hmm.

[18:32] So, I don't know, I had the choice on Amazon Prime between the extended cut and the release version.

[18:38] I said, I'm going to see the one that they thought was good enough to put in theaters.

[18:41] Yeah.

[18:41] And oh, boy.

[18:42] So, we know by the, so, the movie starts at the end of the last Rambo.

[18:46] John Rambo went back to his family's farm.

[18:48] It seemed like he had turned over a new leaf.

[18:50] And you know what?

[18:50] It seems like he has.

[18:51] He's been living on this farm.

[18:52] He's retired.

[18:53] Does he have a room full of his favorite weapons?

[18:55] Sure.

[18:56] Does he have a network of underground tunnels under his farm that are very easily trappable?

[19:01] Yes, of course.

[19:02] But who doesn't in this damage?

[19:04] He uses them for parties for kids.

[19:06] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[19:07] And this, the walls are covered in knickknacks to like a TGI Fridays level.

Elliott Kalan

[19:13] It's like a Rambo TGI Fridays where it's like, there's the bow and arrow.

[19:16] There's that knife.

[19:17] There's the machete from the last one.

[19:20] Like, there's a license plate that just says, our bow.

[19:23] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[19:23] He does spend a lot of time in his tunnels blacksmithing weapons.

[19:28] Yes.

[19:29] But you get the sense that that's his necessary therapy.

[19:33] He can channel all his like paranoid rage into that.

[19:36] And otherwise, he's a nice rancher.

Chris Weitz

[19:39] Now, so he's got these two women in his life.

[19:44] Were they in a previous Rambo movie?

[19:47] No.

[19:47] These are new characters.

Elliott Kalan

[19:49] I mean, the last Rambo movie was 15 years ago, I think.

[19:52] Something like that.

[19:53] The last one was in, let's see, 2008.

[19:56] So it was 12 years ago.

[19:58] So during that time, he has picked up a niece, Gabriela, and a housekeeper.

[20:06] I kept waiting for them to reveal.

Chris Weitz

[20:07] She's related to Gabriela in some way, but she's not her mother.

[20:10] She's maybe Gabriela's grandmother.

[20:11] She's not Sylvester Stallone's love interest.

Elliott Kalan

[20:14] I kept waiting for them to reveal that Sylvester Stallone was in love with this woman, and it just wasn't happening.

Dan McCoy

[20:19] Wikipedia, for what it's worth, identifies her as like she and Rambo manage the ranch together, and she is the young woman's grandmother.

[20:37] Okay.

[20:37] And I think uncle may be just sort of a like honorific.

[20:41] I don't know if they're actually related.

Elliott Kalan

[20:43] I assumed that she was the daughter of his sister.

Chris Weitz

[20:50] It made me wonder what ethnicity the name Rambo is.

[20:53] Is it like, you know, or is it just...

Elliott Kalan

[20:55] I mean, it was supposed to be Italian, I assume.

[20:59] Rambo.

[21:00] When they came to Ellis Island, it was Rambolini.

[21:03] And they said, well, you got to change it a little bit.

Chris Weitz

[21:06] Change it to something much more Anglo-Saxon sounding like Rambo.

Stuart Wellington

[21:11] Gabriela's like about to go to college.

[21:13] And she has a great moment where she asks Rambo, did you like being a soldier?

[21:19] And I'm like, uh, I don't think he did.

[21:23] It's a complicated question.

Dan McCoy

[21:24] Yeah, if there's one thing she should have learned in the past 10 years.

[21:27] It's that being a soldier kind of wrecked it.

Chris Weitz

[21:29] It's not like he doesn't pretty much every 10 minutes talk about how terrible everything was and how there's no humanity left in him.

[21:35] But I want to say about the actors, the supporting actors in this first bit, that they're really doing their best with not too much.

[21:44] Like, they're not bad.

[21:46] And especially, I think, the young girl, Gabriela.

[21:49] It was actually, there are moments where she is in this kind of insane revenge plot and actually seems like a 17-year-old girl might be in that scenario.

Dan McCoy

[21:58] Well, I would also argue that Stallone is doing the best he can with what he's given.

[22:04] He seems like a genuinely wounded man who has a lot of rage.

[22:10] The movie, the movie around these actors is the problem.

Chris Weitz

[22:13] But he sort of learned how to be quiet and just be himself, which is kind of great.

[22:18] And actually, I would have watched the two-hour movie of them hanging out at the farm and just dealing with normal stuff much more happily than what happened.

Elliott Kalan

[22:27] There is a great Rambo movie that is exactly that, which is him and Gabriela, like, training for, like, a big horse competition.

[22:35] Because they train horses at the ranch or, like, just, like, existing at the ranch and her trying to get him to reveal to her the things that he's never revealed before about himself.

[22:45] Like, there's a really, I would love to, like, that's the movie they should have made and it would have cost a lot less.

[22:50] But then you wouldn't have scenes of guys getting rakes through their head.

[22:53] So, like, I guess.

[22:54] There is a trade-off.

Stuart Wellington

[22:56] Well, you could probably find a place for that.

[22:59] I guess so.

[23:00] Where Rambo just kills a bunch of randos.

[23:03] Rambo's randos.

Elliott Kalan

[23:04] It's called Rambo Rando Blood.

[23:07] It's called Rando Rambo Five.

[23:10] And he's still dealing with his trauma, obviously.

[23:13] He's making Gabriela a letter opener that looks like a knife.

[23:16] And I kept waiting for that to be, like, the big revenge weapon at the end.

[23:21] But I don't think it was.

[23:22] He used a much bigger knife than he made himself.

Chris Weitz

[23:24] You could have said, hey, there's a letter.

[23:25] It's for you or something like that.

[23:26] That could have been a great catchphrase.

[23:28] I thought he stuck it in.

[23:29] Signed, sealed, decapitated.

[23:31] And then he cut someone's head off.

Stuart Wellington

[23:31] Yeah, I thought he stuck it in the one brother's chest with her picture before he chopped off his head.

[23:36] Oh, was that what he did?

[23:37] Yeah, maybe that's it.

[23:38] Oh, yes.

[23:38] All right.

[23:38] Because he mentioned everything is not paid off.

Elliott Kalan

[23:40] Everything is set up and paid off.

[23:41] We'll get to that.

[23:42] We'll get to that.

[23:43] Oh, well, yeah.

[23:43] Actually, Stuart, if I could.

[23:46] I got to bump in on this Skype call.

[23:48] I had to bump Elliot off the call.

Dan McCoy

[23:50] It sounded like Columbo was bumping in before you, Stallone.

Elliott Kalan

[23:53] Well, that's my new character, Karambo.

[23:55] Oh, okay.

[23:55] He's like Columbo.

[23:57] So he's like, one more thing, you're dead.

[23:58] And then he shoots somebody.

[24:00] He's like, hey, did you leave these POWs behind?

[24:04] And they're like, yeah.

[24:05] No, no, I didn't.

[24:05] He's like, oh, yeah.

[24:06] That makes sense.

[24:07] That makes sense.

[24:07] One more question.

[24:08] Can I kill you?

[24:09] And then I shoot him.

Dan McCoy

[24:11] Do they say yes or do you just shoot him no matter what they –

Elliott Kalan

[24:15] I don't really wait.

[24:15] I know it doesn't really matter what they're going to say.

[24:17] I'm just going to do it anyway.

[24:18] So the thing is this is kind of like an intricate puzzle box of a film.

[24:23] Okay.

[24:23] And so everything introduced in the beginning comes around.

[24:26] It's like Anton Chekhov said.

[24:28] If you introduce a letter opener at the beginning, then you've got to use it to stab the photo of your dead niece to a decapitated drug dealer's body in Act 3.

[24:37] And so the thing that I want you to remember while you're talking about this movie, Rambo, Last Blood, is that the subtext, which unfortunately was cut out of the American cut, is that Rambo only has so much blood left in his body.

[24:50] Because as you may remember, the blood in my body is thicker than normal human blood.

Dan McCoy

[24:55] Right.

[24:55] So that's why the veins in your arms are so pronounced?

[24:59] Yes, exactly.

[25:00] Because they're enlarged to let the blood go through?

Elliott Kalan

[25:02] I mean, just naturally, it's blood that is the consistency of audio cable just going through my veins, just like pushing a pipe cleaner through a noodle, basically.

[25:16] So just remember that that was a whole subplot that a lot of the movie makes more sense about, if you remember that, that there's, you know, there was supposed to be a counter on screen at all times that counted how many drops of blood were left in my body.

[25:30] And I don't know who screwed up in post, but for some reason that wasn't there.

[25:34] I didn't find out until the premiere.

[25:36] And I'm like, well, when does the counter go up?

[25:38] Because it's kind of what the movie's about is he doesn't have so much blood left.

[25:41] And it never happens.

[25:42] So you've got to believe.

Dan McCoy

[25:43] You have like a crank situation where he's got to keep, you know, his heart rate up.

Elliott Kalan

[25:47] No, that would be worse.

[25:48] You want the heart rate to go down so the blood doesn't get pumped out of the body.

[25:51] Because that's the other thing is it's earlier in the film I was supposed to get shot, like that one gremlin who gets shot and then he drinks the potion and then all the stuff comes out of him.

[26:00] Like that's what's going to happen.

[26:01] So it's leaking out of me the whole time, like a sprinkler.

[26:04] So, I mean, if it was moving faster, I'd lose the blood faster.

[26:06] So I guess what I'm saying is this was not my ideal vision of the film, Rambo Last Blood.

[26:11] But, you know, maybe I'll have some more answers for you later in the show.

[26:14] Gotta go.

[26:15] Digital jetpack.

[26:16] Digital jetpack.

[26:17] Guys, I'm sorry.

[26:18] I was having, I guess, some trouble with the internet and I couldn't get back on the Skype call.

[26:22] Everything okay?

[26:22] Did I miss anything?

[26:24] Yeah.

[26:26] Everything's great.

[26:27] Okay.

[26:28] Okay.

[26:29] So, Gabriela, she invites some friends over for a going off to college party in Sly's secret murder tunnels.

[26:36] Yeah, he shows them the tunnels.

[26:38] Shows them the tunnels and she realized, and her friend Giselle calls and says, I found your dad who abandoned you.

[26:44] He's in Mexico.

[26:45] Do you want to come meet her, meet him?

[26:48] And Sly's like, your dad's a bad man.

[26:51] And she's like, you don't know about my world.

[26:54] And he's like, yeah, I do.

[26:54] It's worse than mine.

[26:55] And it was like, whoa, whoa, hold on a second.

[26:58] That's a big claim.

Dan McCoy

[26:59] Rambo has such a bleak view of the world and humanity.

[27:04] This whole monologue is basically like, everyone's got a black heart.

[27:10] There's no goodness in the world in his view.

[27:12] And that's when Bruce Springsteen comes in and he goes, actually.

Chris Weitz

[27:15] His world is so dark that he thinks that a murder tunnel is a good place to invite teenagers to have a party.

Elliott Kalan

[27:22] And I was going to say, Dan, we all know from Bruce Springsteen that everybody has a hungry heart.

[27:27] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[27:28] Yeah.

[27:28] Or a soft heart.

[27:29] But it's funny because movies like this, the hero expresses this bleak view of humanity.

[27:37] And then the whole arc of the movie is, that is confirmed.

[27:41] Yes.

[27:42] He's like, oh, no, no, no, no.

[27:43] He was right the whole time.

[27:44] She shouldn't believe that there's good in the world.

[27:48] No, because everyone's terrible.

[27:50] She should be like Rambo, a crazy hermit man who sets up devices to murder people.

[27:56] I mean, it's better than being a crazy hermit crab.

[27:58] Yeah.

Chris Weitz

[27:59] I mean, if his dark vision weren't realized, however, we wouldn't be able to enjoy this film.

[28:07] You know?

[28:07] Thank God.

[28:08] You're right.

[28:09] That the world is such a terrible place that Rambo has to kill maybe 2,000 people by the end of the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[28:16] Certainly a lot of people.

[28:17] A lot of people, especially for a man his age.

Stuart Wellington

[28:20] Gabrielle reveals to her grandmother and to Rambo that she wants to go track down her father.

[28:27] And Rambo's like, he's a terrible man.

[28:30] And at first I'm like, oh, that's what any guy with a lot of baggage and like fucked up relationships and a terrible worldview, that's what he would say.

[28:37] Luckily, that gets paid off later on when we find out he is the worst person I've ever met.

Elliott Kalan

[28:43] Oh, but he's not as bad as some of the other guys.

[28:45] They're terrible.

[28:45] Also, he doesn't have a cell phone.

Chris Weitz

[28:47] You can't call ahead of time to talk to him.

[28:50] True.

[28:50] Save yourself the enslavement.

Elliott Kalan

[28:55] Well, as we'll see soon, so she goes – anyway, she decides she's going to go.

[29:00] She goes to Mexico, which is a short drive from the ranch.

[29:03] I guess they live near the border.

[29:05] And it's like she crosses the border and she is instantly in a burnt out war zone.

[29:09] That is, none of the houses seem to have roofs.

[29:12] People are just gangbangers hanging out drinking on car hoods.

[29:17] It's like a reverse Wizard of Oz.

[29:18] Like it's crazy how instantly she's just in like some Italian Mad Max ripoff movie version of a city where it's just like burnt out buildings and shells of vehicles.

Chris Weitz

[29:29] It is pretty amazing.

[29:30] And so I'm going to get real and political for a moment here, guys.

[29:34] Okay.

[29:35] Hey, that's what I'm here for.

Elliott Kalan

[29:36] The Flophouse is nothing but a format for, you know, bold political controversy.

Chris Weitz

[29:41] Being a part Mexican myself, you know, having gone there when I was a kid and having made movies with actual Mexican people in them, it's really interesting to see this sort of trope of Mexico.

[29:52] Like once you deploy the word Mexico, you know, she says, I want to go to Mexico.

[29:55] And Rambo is immediately like, whoa, why would you want to do that?

[29:59] Although, you know, about 100 million Mexican people actually live in Mexico.

[30:03] And most of them aren't AR-15 wielding narco murderers.

[30:08] But you would think from the way that this movie portrays it, as Elliot said, at the moment you step across that border, all bets are off and you're probably going to die.

Stuart Wellington

[30:17] It reminds me of a...

[30:17] Everything becomes ochre tinted.

Elliott Kalan

[30:20] One of my...

[30:21] Yeah, well, it's like, yeah, even the light looks terrible there.

[30:25] One of my friends, freshman year of college, was...

[30:29] She was from Mexico and she would talk then about how, like, she hated how in American movies, if you had committed a crime, you would just escape to Mexico.

[30:38] And she's like, we have police officers in Mexico.

[30:41] Like, you can't...

[30:41] It's not like you just go there and crime is okay.

[30:43] Like, I think she was especially mad because her dad had been attorney general of Mexico for a little bit.

[30:47] So it was a personal insult.

[30:49] I want to take a moment here, as long as this topic has come up...

[30:53] To defend the movie's vision of Mexico?

Dan McCoy

[30:55] I didn't hear what you said, but it's on topic, so I assume that...

[30:59] So, like, I'm going to compare this movie to its closest relative, Taken, a few times during our discussion here.

[31:08] And the thing that Taken does with this is, like, Taken is also a xenophobic movie, but at least...

Stuart Wellington

[31:12] Oh, I thought the name of the movie was Taken a few times, which I thought would be, like, a late series sequel.

Elliott Kalan

[31:18] That's the one where Liam Neeson is like, daughter, please stop talking to strangers.

[31:23] This is the third time today that you've been Taken.

Dan McCoy

[31:26] Yeah.

[31:27] Anyway, Taken is a much superior version of this story, and it makes a few key decisions.

[31:32] One of which is, it is still xenophobic, but it decides to aim at xenophobia at least at a place that is not historically vilified by America.

[31:50] Which makes it weird in a different way.

[31:52] Like, you watch Taken and you're like, okay, why is Liam Neeson immediately terrified his daughter wants to go to Paris?

[31:58] Like, that seems very crazy when you watch the movie.

[32:03] But, like, you put it off to him just being, like, insane.

[32:07] He's seen so much in the CIA or whatever.

[32:09] But, like, apparently the Paris of Taken is filled with sex slavers.

[32:12] We won't touch on that.

[32:14] But at least it's, like, making an attempt to be like, okay, so we don't want to inflame any actual racial tensions that exist in America.

[32:25] Whereas Rambo Last Blood is like, okay, well, right when we're building this wall, let's make Mexicans the bad guy.

Chris Weitz

[32:32] Yeah, and I mean, so what's supposed to counter away this is that there is a nice Mexican grandmother and a Mexican-American girl in it.

[32:41] And so this sort of excuses the rampant xenophobia.

[32:45] But it doesn't exactly.

[32:46] Oh, by the way, Sebastian reports that the movie should have been called Rambo Red Cross or Rambo Remaining Blood.

[32:53] Just needed to get that in because I'm getting notes submitted to me.

Elliott Kalan

[32:58] I think the movie is not saying Mexicans are bad.

[33:03] The movie is saying Mexican men and most Mexican women are bad.

[33:07] And I feel like that's the kind of nuanced message that we – it's refreshing from a Rambo movie where usually everyone in the foreign country except the one woman who likes Rambo is bad.

[33:18] But, yeah, the movie exists in that weird fantasy world of fear that so many people live in where they're like, MS-13 is going to come get us.

[33:26] And it's like, I don't think so.

[33:28] Like, they have no interest in you.

[33:29] I don't know why you think they're just a marauding band of scavengers or reavers that just wanders the countryside.

Chris Weitz

[33:35] Well, it's only really if you do something stupid like try to make contact with your father.

[33:40] You know, it's something clearly dangerous to do.

Elliott Kalan

[33:43] Or trust Giselle.

[33:43] Because as we meet Giselle, we know she is trouble because she's got heavy makeup and jewelry and things like that.

Stuart Wellington

[33:49] She is dressed very cleanly as a – in like traditional gangbanger tropes.

[33:55] All she's missing is a few like SoundCloud rapper facial tattoos.

[33:59] But like she's – all of her clothes are like pristine, like clear – like I don't know.

[34:05] It feels like a high school play version like in Rushmore or something when they're dressed up as like gangbangers.

[34:12] Like everything is very clean and carefully manicured.

[34:14] Yeah, absolutely.

[34:15] She looks like she's doing well for herself.

Chris Weitz

[34:17] Even though she moved back to Mexico, she's wearing Los Angeles kind of stereotype chola outfits.

[34:24] It seems a bit unrealistic to me.

[34:26] But hey, she's got to do – she's got to do her.

Elliott Kalan

[34:30] Hey, she's got to be herself.

[34:31] You know, she's as much an outsider as Gabriela.

[34:34] Giselle immediately asks Gabriela if she's a virgin and then goes, hey, I'm just joking.

[34:37] And it's like, hmm, I don't think that was a joke.

[34:39] This is going to be trouble.

[34:40] Gabriela goes to meet her dad, Manuel, who says, hey, I left you because I never –

[34:45] I never wanted you.

[34:46] So goodbye.

[34:47] And then he closes the door and returns.

Dan McCoy

[34:49] He makes the most comical heel turn because when he first opens the door, like he's not warm to her, but he's like, oh, hey, it's been a while.

[34:56] Like, you know, he's at least –

Elliott Kalan

[34:58] Oh, because you know what happened?

[35:00] I think he didn't recognize her at first and thought she was someone from work.

[35:03] Oh, okay.

[35:03] And he was like, oh, hey, what are you doing here?

[35:05] It's nice to see you.

[35:06] And she's like, why did you leave my family?

[35:07] He's like, oh, it's my daughter.

[35:08] Get out of here.

[35:09] I don't want to talk to you.

[35:09] Well, then like a scrim falls.

Chris Weitz

[35:11] He steps out of the light into shadow in order to be mean.

[35:15] Also.

Stuart Wellington

[35:16] Yeah.

[35:17] And his eyes go dead.

[35:19] And his, like, new wife answers the door and she's like, who is she?

[35:23] I'll explain later.

[35:24] And she's like, okay.

[35:26] And leaves?

[35:27] Like, what?

[35:29] But yeah.

[35:30] They've got a great relationship.

Chris Weitz

[35:31] They trust each other.

[35:32] That's I think what they're trying to say is that he's moved on and he's actually kind of made something of himself.

[35:37] And why is she coming to wreck his life where he's got this really trusting relationship with his wife?

Elliott Kalan

[35:41] And he's like, you're a reminder of the bad man I used to be and not the caring family man that I am now.

[35:46] So I want you out of here.

Dan McCoy

[35:48] This movie is so committed to, like, rote shorthand that he, like, literally just says, like, one day I looked at you and your mom and I'm like, I don't care about these people.

[35:58] And I left.

[35:59] I don't, like, go away.

[36:00] I don't want you.

[36:01] Like, he's the most direct about being a bad father as anyone could be.

Elliott Kalan

[36:06] I wonder if maybe he's Harry and the Henderson-ing her and he knows that he's a dangerous man and he doesn't want her to be in trouble.

[36:13] So he's like, you stink.

[36:14] I don't like you.

[36:15] I never liked you.

[36:16] Get out of here.

Dan McCoy

[36:17] Honestly, Elliot, he is so over the top here that I thought it was going to be a plot point like that.

[36:22] I thought he was trying to scare her away.

[36:24] Or it was a dream or something.

[36:27] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[36:28] So she's really depressed about this, so Giselle, to cheer her up, takes her to a club, which actually looked like a pretty normal club.

[36:35] It looked pretty fun, yeah.

[36:36] Yeah, it looked like a fun place to be.

[36:38] Her drink gets spiked.

[36:39] I guess it's not so fun after all.

[36:40] Next day, everyone's like, Gabrielle's disappeared.

[36:44] Where is she?

[36:45] And she went to Mexico.

[36:46] And Rambo's like, I gotta go get her.

[36:48] And he gets in his truck and races over to Mexico.

[36:51] This is where the trigger warnings are going to have to come in.

[36:53] Yeah.

[36:54] Because Gabry, as they call her, is instantly the prisoner of a nightmarish hell pimp who says he'll kill any of his women if they run away.

[37:04] And she's inside of the filthiest building I've ever seen in my life in a movie.

[37:09] And it's like she—the movie is trying to outdo itself in being unpleasant and horrible.

[37:16] And this is where it really starts getting into that, what I guess you'd call the Act II slime.

[37:22] Well—

[37:23] How did you guys—how did you guys feel about it?

[37:25] Maybe I'm off base.

Chris Weitz

[37:26] It's really tricky because, I mean, terrible things are happening to young women in Mexico.

[37:30] And, you know, sometimes this has been addressed in movies before, but it's rarely been used as such a blatant kind of plot engine purely to manufacture bad guys to be destroyed by Sylvester Stallone.

[37:45] So it's weird and unsettling.

Elliott Kalan

[37:48] I feel like they go after this—the tragedies that can befall young women in Mexico with not quite as much sensitivity as Roberto Bolaño in 2666.

[37:58] Just not quite as much.

Chris Weitz

[38:01] I was going to quote 2666, but I thought, no, you know, I'm not going to try to bring a sort of literary fiction into it.

[38:10] But, hey, this is great.

Elliott Kalan

[38:11] Hey, come on.

[38:12] It's got to be done.

[38:13] But it reminded—when The Last Rainbow came out, it was like—I felt the same way about how it was set in Burma, or I always mix up whether it's called Burma or Myanmar now, and I feel terrible about that.

[38:24] But it was set there, and it was at the time that it was still a—the military dictatorship before it became a democracy, and now it's kind of becoming a dictatorship again.

[38:32] But at the time it was still a military dictatorship.

[38:34] And I was like, it's terrible that they're using it just as fodder for these movies.

[38:38] But at the same time, like, what other American movies are talking about what's going on in that part of the world?

[38:42] Like, none of them were.

[38:43] So it feels weird for—I think this movie is probably like—actually, you know what?

[38:48] Never mind.

[38:49] I don't think it's trying to call attention to any of this.

[38:50] It's just like, oh, what's a part of the world that sounds really terrible?

[38:53] And we can have something horrible happen, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[38:55] I would like—I have some things to say about that.

[38:58] Like, so, again, Taken.

[39:01] So in Taken—

Elliott Kalan

[39:02] So is again Taken the sequel?

[39:04] Yeah.

[39:05] Where not only—where Liam Neeson has to team up with Judd Hirsch as his Jewish father, and he's like, again, Taken?

Dan McCoy

[39:10] Yeah, and then there's the Taken DA, where he magically turns into a district attorney.

[39:17] No, I just—

[39:17] Magically, he ran for the office.

[39:20] He was elected to it.

[39:21] Oh, okay.

[39:22] The thing about this is, like, so in Taken, the daughter's also being sex trafficked, but the movie has at least the small decency to rescue her—

[39:37] Before.

[39:38] It all goes down.

[39:39] Before any rape occurs.

[39:41] Whereas this movie seems to delight in having this surrogate daughter character be as brutally mistreated as possible.

Chris Weitz

[39:52] Well, yeah, it takes a bit of a Mel Gibson kind of direction where Sylvester Stallone, or rather Rambo, strangely sort of offers himself up.

[40:00] Like, this guy who is, you know, an incredibly skilled, stealthy assassin allows himself to be beaten up, basically, by 50 dudes.

[40:10] And at the same time as that's happening, his surrogate daughter, whatever, is being raped.

[40:16] And it's not necessary to the plot for this to happen.

Dan McCoy

[40:20] No, and I think that, like, we've identified the xenophobia of the movie, like, every review of the movie at the time identified that.

[40:29] But I don't think there's as much talk about, like, the sexism of the movie.

[40:34] Because, number one, she is, like, so fridged in the sense that, like, her—she only exists in the movie in relation to Rambo entirely.

[40:46] And there's a very egregious version of that that happens later that I'll mention when it comes up in the synopsis.

[40:52] So there's that.

[40:53] But also, this movie is, I think, trading on, like, two male fantasies.

[40:59] Like, it—like, one much uglier than the other.

[41:03] But, like, it gives the audience, like, the titillation of having this young girl sexually defiled.

[41:11] And then it gives the audience the fantasy of, like, revenge against the defilers.

[41:16] Yeah.

[41:16] And it's, like, it's, like, having it both ways in that way.

[41:21] Yeah.

[41:21] In, like, a really upsetting fashion.

Stuart Wellington

[41:24] Like a I spit on Rambo's grave or something.

Elliott Kalan

[41:27] Yeah.

[41:28] Rambo spits on their grave.

[41:29] Yeah.

Chris Weitz

[41:30] Who's spitting on whose grave here?

Elliott Kalan

[41:32] I mean, the only grave we see—the only grave we end up seeing, spoiler alert, is Gabri's.

[41:37] So I guess that's the title.

[41:39] Which I need to talk about Gabri's grave.

Chris Weitz

[41:41] Yeah.

[41:41] Okay, well, we'll get there.

[41:42] We'll get there.

Dan McCoy

[41:42] They do a pretty—not a bang-up job on that grave.

[41:44] But it is always, like, a pretty teenage woman who is offered up as, like, the sacrifice so a man can go on a rampage.

[41:56] Like, only—like, it's a movie, like, you—I can only think of, like, a movie like Ransom where it's a boy.

[42:04] And in that case, it's, like, also, like, a young boy.

[42:07] You don't see a teenage boy being the one who is—like, and I'm just—I think it's important to note, like, the creepiness of all this.

[42:14] Yeah.

[42:15] In addition to the racism.

Chris Weitz

[42:17] Well, the other—the sort of spiritual cousin of this, too, is Men on Fire, I think, which also sort of played the Mexico kind of gag with a little white girl.

[42:27] I mean, okay, not as terrible, but serves the same function, which is, like, we prize our nubile virginal daughters or daughter figures.

[42:37] And if anyone—if any brown person is going to get them—

Stuart Wellington

[42:40] It represents innocence, you know?

[42:44] It's like the pearly innocence that our grizzled heroes wish they still had.

Chris Weitz

[42:52] Yep.

[42:53] And—but actually, to your point, Dan, I think, you know, basically once—once Gabrielle has—has—is no longer a virgin, it's time for her to die, right?

[43:05] Because there's no way that she could possibly rebound from that and lead a life.

[43:09] And there's kind of this odd scene—we're jumping ahead in the movie—but where Rambo says, you know, you've got a lot of living left to do with all kinds of great things.

[43:16] Everything's going to be great.

[43:17] But essentially—

[43:18] Wait, Rambo?

Elliott Kalan

[43:18] So Esther Stallone's here again?

Chris Weitz

[43:20] No, that was me.

[43:21] That was—guys, that was me.

[43:22] Oh, wow.

[43:23] That's amazing.

[43:24] And essentially, Gabriella just gives up on life because presumably, you know, there's no way you can come back from that, you know?

[43:33] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[43:33] I assumed it was her—it was his old man speech that made her fall asleep and die.

Chris Weitz

[43:41] What's interesting to me vis-a-vis these movies, and I'm thinking of Man on Fire as well, but these kind of go to Mexico and kill some people things,

[43:47] is that presumably shot in Mexico or maybe certainly with Mexican actors, right?

[43:52] And I'm just wondering what the experience is like for these Mexican actors or day players or, you know, heavies who are like—who are taking on these roles.

[44:00] Of course, you're getting paid to do what you want to do, which is to act, and that's great.

[44:03] But like, how do you reconcile the rampant xenophobia with this?

[44:09] And, you know, because it's not like, you know, there's no brown face here, right?

[44:14] It's like you're actually hiring Mexican actors to play sleazy, evil Mexicans.

[44:20] But actually, which also reminds me, Joaquin Cosillo, who I looked up on IMDb because I'd worked with him before in this movie, A Better Life,

[44:28] and he didn't appear to be in the movie.

[44:30] He was listed as Don Manuel, and he's in the credits, but did he appear in the movie at all?

[44:36] I know.

[44:37] Very round-faced—

Stuart Wellington

[44:38] I'm assuming he was the—if there was a character named Don Manuel, he would have been like the head of the crime thing.

Chris Weitz

[44:45] I imagine so, but you only meet the evil Martinez brothers, right?

[44:49] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[44:49] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[44:49] Maybe it's stuff that—maybe it's in the foreign version and not the American version.

[44:53] Perhaps.

[44:53] I don't know, because there were extra scenes.

[44:55] But it's—yeah, there's a lot of—I guess what we're all saying, Dan, I think we all—and Chris and Sue, I think we all agree,

[45:00] this is a real icky movie, and there's a lot of real icky stuff both on screen and behind the screen.

[45:05] So let's get into it, shall we?

[45:07] Anyway, long story short, Rambo starts trying to track down Gabriela.

[45:10] Manuel is no help.

[45:11] There's that Manuel, but he's not a Don Manuel.

[45:13] He goes to Giselle and threatens her with a knife to take him to the club, and she points out the guy who took his niece.

[45:19] Meanwhile, there's a mysterious woman at the bar watching Rambo.

[45:23] Rambo gets information from the guy by literally shoving his thumb through the man's skin so he can pull out his clavicle bone and snap it.

Stuart Wellington

[45:30] Now, he said he pulls out a bone.

[45:31] Are you talking about one of the bone cousins or maybe one of the bone paperbacks?

Elliott Kalan

[45:36] No, no, I'm not talking about—you mean like Jeff Smith's bone?

Stuart Wellington

[45:39] Yeah, is it phony bone or phone bone?

Elliott Kalan

[45:40] It's not phone bone, phony bone, or—

[45:42] Smiley bone.

[45:43] Smiley bone.

[45:44] The Frugal Gourmet wrote a comic book?

[45:46] It's a different Jeff Smith, Dan.

[45:48] Oh, okay.

[45:49] And life was probably terrible for both of them until the Frugal Gourmet passed.

[45:52] Yeah.

[45:53] So, no, this is an actual bone that's in a human body.

Chris Weitz

[45:56] He really goes to town on this guy, maybe more than necessary.

[46:00] I have never, in a movie, I've never seen someone reach in and pull out another guy's clavicle bone and threaten to snap it in a movie.

[46:09] No.

Elliott Kalan

[46:10] Yeah, me neither.

[46:10] He was also, he was like, I snapped this bone.

[46:13] And it's like, you already pulled it out of my body, dude.

[46:15] Like, this is pretty bad.

[46:18] He leads Rambo to a bad guy house.

[46:21] That's all I can call it.

[46:22] Like, a thug house or a bad guy house.

[46:24] Yeah.

[46:24] Some sort of chapo trap house.

[46:25] And Rambo gets surrounded by bad dudes.

[46:28] This is the scene Chris was talking about earlier where the Martinez brothers, the bad guys of the movie, come up.

[46:33] And they have about 50 dudes beat up Rambo.

[46:35] And they don't have, they're not like doing anything.

[46:37] They're just all like hanging out.

[46:39] Yeah.

[46:39] I mean, they're just bad guys doing bad guy stuff.

Chris Weitz

[46:41] Rambo really walks right into it.

[46:43] And I'm not sure whether he intends to or not.

[46:45] Given his proficiency in killing, the fact that he gets kind of, he gets sussed out so quickly and surrounded so easily seems odd to me.

[46:56] Did it seem strange to you guys?

Elliott Kalan

[46:57] I have a couple explanations for this.

[46:59] So these are, I have a couple.

[47:00] One, this is when he makes his mistake.

[47:03] Instead of doing what he does best, setting traps.

[47:05] He's soft-hearted.

[47:06] He's so angry and he's so soft-hearted that he just walks right in.

[47:09] Two, I think he's not used to being a white guy in a foreign country who's not a soldier or a mercenary.

[47:15] So he walked in expecting them to understand that he's on a war footing.

[47:18] But to them, he's just some old dude.

[47:20] And there's 50 of them.

[47:22] Three, this is the scene that makes us want him to kill them even more.

[47:26] Because they've shamed our hero.

[47:28] There's a scene in the movie, The Ninth Configuration, where you know that Stacy Keach,

[47:32] is like a Rambo-type character.

[47:34] But he's tried to hide it in himself.

[47:36] And he goes to a bar.

[47:37] And this biker gang beats him up so badly until they finally are forcing him to lick beer off of this splintery wooden floor.

[47:44] And the whole scene, you're like, how much are they going to push him until he just finally,

[47:48] we have the release of him killing all these bikers.

[47:51] And they finally do it.

[47:52] And this is like a much slower version of that, where it's like, would it be satisfying for Rambo to just go in and save his niece?

[47:59] Of course not.

[48:00] He's got to fail and then get revenge.

[48:03] And it's got to be personal revenge.

[48:05] And you'll see that because they carve an X into his face with a knife.

[48:09] And it's like...

[48:09] It's more like a V.

[48:11] Or a V.

[48:12] Yeah, I saw it as a V.

[48:13] I saw it as a V.

[48:14] Okay.

[48:14] I was watching it on iPad while I was doing the dishes.

[48:16] So I might not have the clear view of it.

[48:18] But how can you even judge this movie if you didn't know it was a V in seven or six?

[48:22] You're right.

[48:22] I'm not watching it the way it was meant to be watched.

[48:24] Because I didn't pay money for it.

[48:26] It just came in with Amazon Prime.

Stuart Wellington

[48:27] And the villain explains his whole plan at this point, right?

[48:30] They have Rambo on the ground.

[48:31] He's all beat up.

[48:32] It looks like he's been stung by a bunch of bees.

[48:33] And he's like, you know what?

[48:35] I was going to ignore her.

[48:37] Me being a crime boss, I don't think about the people beneath me.

[48:41] She's nothing to me.

[48:43] Now, my plan, but what's his plan?

[48:45] His plan is that like now I'm going to let you live just so you know I'm doing mean stuff to this girl all the time.

[48:51] He's going to be a double trigger.

[48:52] It feels like a lot of work.

Elliott Kalan

[48:53] I'm going to treat her worse than everybody.

[48:55] And you're going to spend the rest of your life, because you would never try to attack me again.

[48:59] Because I've done such a good job of showing you how tough I am.

[49:02] You're going to spend the rest of your life knowing that you made things worse for her by coming and trying to save her.

[49:08] And this is, I guess, an argument against anyone who says don't get involved, Rambo.

[49:12] Rambo because he has to get involved now.

[49:15] I don't know.

Chris Weitz

[49:16] I feel like it's a rewrite idea that at some point Gabriella should have said to him, promise me that you've reformed and you're not going to kill any more people.

[49:24] And he says, I promise you that I will never, ever once again commit violence on anybody.

[49:29] And so then I understand why he's just going to cruise in.

[49:32] He's like, I'm just going to talk nicely to them, explain that I'm Rambo, and everything will be okay.

Elliott Kalan

[49:37] I'm sure if I speak reasonably to these fellows, they'll see that they should let my niece go.

[49:42] The rest of the women, of course, I don't care about because they're not related to me or even the same ethnicity as me.

[49:47] And so I'll forget about them, but I'm sure I can reach a common point of reference with these men.

[49:54] Like, yeah, my Stallone is really becoming Columbo.

[49:57] It's really fascinating.

[50:00] But yeah, he's – but they don't have that.

[50:02] So instead, I think he's just cocky.

[50:03] He's just overconfident.

[50:05] And he's out of practice.

[50:06] He's been taming horses, not killing dudes.

[50:08] So Rambo, he gets beaten up unconscious, and he gets picked up by Carmen, a good guy journalist.

[50:16] And she has also got her reasons for hating these bad guys.

[50:21] Meanwhile, we just see horrible things happen to Gabriella, and we don't need to delve too deeply into those.

[50:26] We've kind of talked about what basically happens.

[50:28] She ends up being a drug – you know, they force drugs on her and force people on her.

[50:32] It's terrible.

[50:33] Four days later, Rambo wakes up.

[50:35] He's still got a little bit of a concussion, and he says, I got to settle a score with the Martinez brothers.

[50:40] And Carmen is like, okay, maybe I'll help you.

[50:44] Rambo then – this is the first part of his plan where he just goes to a – to where Gabrielle is being held and imprisoned with a hammer and just kills every man he sees.

[50:55] Yeah.

[50:55] And scares all the women.

Stuart Wellington

[50:57] This is like a dumb version of You Were Never Really Here.

[51:00] Yes, exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[51:01] And I still haven't seen You Were Never Really Here yet.

[51:04] So like what is the difference between a movie like that and a movie like this?

[51:07] Like what makes that more of a work of art than another movie about a guy who has to save a woman so he kills people?

[51:12] Well, it shies away from every act of violence.

Stuart Wellington

[51:15] That movie doesn't give you the – yeah, it doesn't give you any violent catharsis.

[51:19] You don't actually see him really do anything to anybody.

Elliott Kalan

[51:22] Oh, so it's kind of like Only God Forgives where it's like you know bad stuff is happening, but it's mostly Ryan Gosling just looking at stuff.

Stuart Wellington

[51:29] But it's tied more deeply in with the trauma that this veteran is going through and a man who lives in a world of only violence.

[51:38] Okay.

[51:39] Yeah.

[51:39] Okay.

Chris Weitz

[51:40] The violence is strange in this movie, right?

[51:44] It's not sort of balletic.

[51:45] It's genuinely angry, gross.

[51:51] It's very graphic, right?

[51:53] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[51:53] It's very graphic and it's almost like there's no – I mean you could see this as honesty even though it's not, but it's like there's no joy in it.

[52:02] There's not even thrills in it.

[52:04] It's just like Sylvester Stallone's got to do a job, so he's going to do this job.

[52:07] I'm just going to walk in the room and hit that guy as hard as I can with a hammer.

[52:10] And then I'm going to walk in this room and hit this guy as hard as I can as a hammer.

[52:13] And I kept thinking like of a – like in Oldboy, there's that hammer fight scene and it's an amazing scene.

[52:19] It's a joyous hammer fight.

[52:20] It's a joyous hammer fight, exactly.

[52:22] It's thrilling.

[52:22] But in this one it's like you almost get a little bit of Sylvester Stallone being like, I can't believe I'm still making these movies.

[52:27] All right, walk in, kill someone, walk out.

[52:29] And the women he's saving are so much – seem to be so much more frightened by him, by this maniac who's just wandering and beating somebody to death with a hammer.

[52:36] And it's just very –

Dan McCoy

[52:38] It's like a shooting gallery too, but a hammer gallery.

[52:42] These guys just keep popping up.

[52:43] It's like guy, hammer, guy, hammer, guy.

Stuart Wellington

[52:46] Now I have an idea for a carnival booth.

Elliott Kalan

[52:50] Well, now you know what it's like to be one of the hammer brothers in the Mario Brothers games.

Stuart Wellington

[52:54] And then a guy just shows up and starts killing everybody.

Dan McCoy

[52:57] Just starts jumping on Rambo's head, yeah.

[52:59] And now I have an idea for a pseudonym, Guy Hammer.

Elliott Kalan

[53:03] Oh, yeah, yeah, I like it.

[53:04] Yeah.

[53:04] And now what would you do as Guy Hammer?

[53:06] What would that pseudonym be used for?

Dan McCoy

[53:07] Oh, gosh.

[53:09] Guy Hammer, International Construction Worker.

[53:14] Okay.

[53:14] See, I'm adding a little glamour to the –

Chris Weitz

[53:17] We've got some nails that only you can hammer in over here.

Elliott Kalan

[53:20] Now is it – is that you do jobs all over the world or you only use farm-made tools or what makes you an international construction worker?

Dan McCoy

[53:26] I'm a globetrotter.

[53:27] I'm a globetrotter.

[53:28] And my motto is when you're Guy Hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Stuart Wellington

[53:35] Wow, okay.

[53:36] They're like we're building this building using only the metric system.

[53:40] Somebody get me Guy Hammer.

Elliott Kalan

[53:42] So in France they call you Guy Hammer, right?

[53:44] Yes.

[53:45] Now, ever since everything looks like a nail, that's a pretty serious psychological problem.

[53:50] That's like an Oliver Sacks-level neurological disorder.

Dan McCoy

[53:52] No, it's true, but it's better than like having that cartoon disease where everything looks like a turkey because I don't try and eat everything.

Elliott Kalan

[54:01] Because if I just saw a turkey sitting on the sidewalk, I'd immediately start eating it.

[54:06] Whereas if I saw a person just sitting on the sidewalk, I'd be like, oh, that's a person.

[54:10] But if I saw any food sitting anywhere, you'd have no choice but to eat it, even if it was driving a car, even if it was wearing clothes.

Chris Weitz

[54:16] You'd start licking your lips and chase it down the street.

Elliott Kalan

[54:18] Exactly.

[54:18] As you do with normal chickens in a restaurant.

[54:21] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[54:22] Yeah.

[54:23] Yeah.

[54:23] Elliot affixes a bib around his neck and he pulls out his cutlery that he has on him at all times.

Elliott Kalan

[54:28] I always have them with me.

[54:29] And I'm used to, when the chicken starts running away saying, hey, stop.

[54:33] I don't say for a second, hold on.

[54:35] Let me square this with my regular frame of reference about chicken.

[54:39] Let me go to my schema about chicken that exists in my psychology.

[54:42] Do chicken usually run away and talk?

[54:44] They don't.

[54:44] Okay.

[54:45] Especially fully cooked chickens, which is what this one is, running just on those little caps that they put on top of the leg bones in a fancy restaurant in a cartoon.

Chris Weitz

[54:53] But that's because the non-chicken recognizing part of your brain has died.

[54:57] Yeah.

[54:58] As Oliver Sacks would have pointed out, we learn so much about neurology from things like chicken seeing disease.

Elliott Kalan

[55:06] Yeah.

[55:07] Oh, yeah.

[55:07] CSD, it's a problem, but it's also been a learning opportunity for the world.

[55:11] So Rambo's just killing people with hammers.

[55:14] He steals Gabriella away and he's going to save her.

[55:17] The criminal brothers are real mad now and they argue with each other.

[55:20] On the drive home, it's a long truck drive back and Rambo, to try to keep Gabriella awake so that she doesn't die, Rambo kind of monologues about what Gabriella means to him and how important she is to him and his life was so bad until the movie makes the most unforgivable move, in my opinion, which we talked about, is that she dies.

[55:43] She is no good as a living person.

[55:45] She is only good as an object to fixate on for the purposes of bloody revenge.

Dan McCoy

[55:49] Well, and this was the moment that I was going to mention before that sort of underlines how she is only a device that exists in relationship to Rambo.

[56:02] Is that, yeah, Rambo is monologuing about himself and about how she gave him hope and all this stuff.

[56:09] I mean, yeah, I could see someone saying that, but even at this moment of death, it's like, you rescued me.

[56:18] And then, like, as he's saying that, she slips away.

[56:21] Right.

Chris Weitz

[56:21] He's not talking about her upcoming college career and prospects for life.

[56:25] He's really just talking about his own trauma and how when she was in third grade, she won six prizes in one day.

Stuart Wellington

[56:31] Yeah.

[56:32] The movie's not called Gabriella No Blood.

[56:36] Well, good point.

[56:37] And we can't expect it to survive.

Elliott Kalan

[56:39] Very fair.

[56:39] And although there's part of me that did want to see Rambo trying to relate to it, to a teen girl on her level.

[56:45] I mean, like, oh, you've got so many TikToks to look at.

Chris Weitz

[56:47] And Billie Eilish is her second album.

Elliott Kalan

[56:50] I know you're looking forward to that.

[56:52] But, like, just desperately trying to connect.

[56:55] Oh, what's, is Degrassi a show that young people are still watching?

Stuart Wellington

[56:58] Well, there's a point where the grandma is complaining about the music that the teenagers are playing.

[57:03] She's like, oh, what terrible music.

[57:05] And he's like, I could get used to it.

[57:08] And I'm like, wow, that's better than I would say.

Elliott Kalan

[57:11] Guys, I was listening to the conversation again, and I had to bump Elliot off again.

[57:17] I didn't bump him off the way that I normally bump people off.

[57:20] He's still alive.

[57:20] I just tied him up.

[57:21] And he's blindfolded, so he doesn't know I'm here.

[57:23] He's got put earplugs in his ears.

[57:25] Now, something I should tell you about.

[57:27] I was doing some research on my own movie because, as you know, my memories are horribly unreliable.

[57:33] Like, for instance, the other day, my brother Frank, we were having brunch.

[57:37] I like to go to brunch.

[57:38] It was, again, it was a Zoom brunch because, again, at these times, you can't go places.

[57:42] But I made, I tried to make home fries, and they just weren't as good as the restaurant, let me tell you that.

[57:47] But you got to try these things, you know?

[57:49] So, anyway.

Dan McCoy

[57:50] That's weird because they're called home fries, but the restaurant version is so much better.

[57:55] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[57:55] Dan, true words were never spoken.

[57:57] It's like how you drive on a parkway, but you shoot people in their driveways.

[58:03] Now, so, and I would talk, Frank was like, hey, Sly, you remember when you were in that movie, Rhinestone?

[58:10] And I was like, I was never in such a film with that title, sir.

[58:13] And he kept reminding me, and then I looked up in my library of bound screenplays of all the movies that I've been in, and there you go.

[58:19] There was a screenplay for Rhinestone, and I read it.

[58:22] And you know what?

[58:22] I had a few laughs.

[58:24] Anyway, the important thing is I was doing some research on this movie, and I realized there was an earlier version of this movie that was called Rambo, where I died in this scene.

[58:34] And then she took on my name, but a girl version of it, so it was Rambo instead of Rambo.

[58:39] And then she got revenge, and I don't know why we didn't do that because it meant I could have slept through the rest of the movie.

[58:44] I could have, you know, because she knows she didn't really die.

[58:47] The actress just kind of went to sleep, and then we didn't wake her up, you know, because she was so tired from the other scenes.

[58:53] So we just kind of let her sleep in the car.

[58:55] And it was kind of funny.

[58:57] She woke up in the truck, and we had all gone home, and she was like, what happened?

[59:00] She called me.

[59:01] She's got my number.

[59:01] I'm that kind of guy.

[59:02] I'm just handing my number out to people because I'm a real friend, you know.

[59:05] I like to be personable.

[59:06] And, you know, there's no barrier between me and them.

[59:09] Why should there be?

[59:09] I could snap their neck if I wanted to.

[59:11] Anyway, you know, I don't have anything to worry about.

[59:14] She called me, and she was like, Sly, I'm still in this truck.

[59:16] I just woke up.

[59:17] We were like, oh, you look so sweet just sleeping there that we didn't want to wake you up.

[59:20] And we wrote the rest of the movie around you dying in that moment rather than just falling asleep.

[59:24] And she's like, but I wanted to be the vigilante.

[59:26] I was going to take over.

[59:28] Well, no, no, no.

[59:29] But you fell asleep during the scene, so it's fine.

[59:30] I know you were tired.

[59:31] So I'm just going to do the rest of it.

[59:33] So there was a version of the movie.

[59:36] Originally, I died.

[59:37] Oh, sure, yeah.

[59:38] She kind of brought it on herself that, you know, I had to shoot the rest of the movie.

[59:43] And it just became Rambo, Last Blood.

[59:46] So it's kind of fascinating how many different versions of the movie there were that we went through while we were making it.

[59:50] You know, but that happens sometimes.

[59:52] I mean, it's not that fascinating.

[59:54] No.

[59:55] I mean, it's kind of an insulting way to put it, Stu, but okay, I get your point.

[1:00:00] Oh, wow.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:00] You just called me Stu.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:01] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:02] I didn't realize you even knew who I was, Rambo.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:04] Well, no, I called you that because I'm going to kill you and I'm going to beat the Stu out of you.

[1:00:10] But what you said to me, as soon as I find out where you live.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:13] Also, Stuart calls you Rambo.

[1:00:15] He called you by your character name.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:17] I do the same thing.

[1:00:18] I sometimes call myself Rambo.

[1:00:20] I've called myself Oscar, which is not even my character in that movie.

[1:00:23] I called myself Rhinestone after I found out I was in a movie called Rhinestone.

[1:00:27] Because until I read the script, I assumed I was like a police detective named like Sal Rhinestone, who's like always trying to stop drug dealers.

[1:00:33] Or maybe like a kidnapper who wants to assassinate the president or something.

[1:00:36] But no, it turned out I was something with country music.

[1:00:38] I don't know.

[1:00:38] I read it yesterday and I forgot about it already.

[1:00:40] The point is, I'm going to kill you, Stu.

[1:00:43] Okay.

[1:00:44] Wow.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:45] Well, I'm glad that we're doing this digitally instead of in person.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:50] No, no.

[1:00:50] I can still get you because I've been taking virtuosity lessons.

[1:00:53] And now I can travel through the internet.

[1:00:56] So I better get going with that.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:57] You know, Stallone, I do have one question.

[1:00:59] Are you drawn to characters specifically with R names?

[1:01:02] Because you've got Rocky, you've got Rambo, and you've got, of course, Ray Tango.

[1:01:06] Everyone's favorite.

[1:01:07] I'll answer both of those questions.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:08] One, I'm not drawn.

[1:01:09] I'm live action.

[1:01:10] But thank you.

[1:01:10] I consider myself kind of an animated person with a lot of energy.

[1:01:14] So I'll take that as a compliment.

[1:01:15] Two, yes, R is just I consider it a power letter.

[1:01:21] And, you know, that's why Rambo, Rocky, Ray, Ray, the movie about Ray Charles, which I auditioned for but did not get the part.

[1:01:28] I unsuccessfully pushed for that one.

[1:01:30] Yeah, other movies, Oscar ends with an R.

[1:01:34] And, of course, let's not forget, I was in Spy Kids 3D.

[1:01:37] And there's an R in 3.

[1:01:38] So, you know, there's an R connection to all the movies that I've been in.

[1:01:44] Judge Gerred.

[1:01:45] Yeah, straight for the fans.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:47] Yeah, stop er, my mom will shoot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:49] Yeah, I mean, that's one way to pronounce it, sure.

[1:01:54] Look at Chris's face.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:56] No, no, no.

[1:01:56] I was thinking of him from being delighted by this podcast to ruining the re-kill.

Chris Weitz

[1:02:00] I was thinking of jumping in with Cobra, of course.

[1:02:04] There's an R in there.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:04] Yeah, yeah, the movie where I was one half of a bra.

[1:02:07] Yeah.

[1:02:10] And the other half was, I believe, who was it?

[1:02:15] It wasn't Elias Codius.

[1:02:16] It wasn't James Woods.

[1:02:18] It wasn't Ray Moland.

[1:02:20] Uh-huh.

[1:02:21] It was...

[1:02:22] Rosie Greer.

[1:02:24] It was Rosie Greer.

[1:02:25] Thank you.

[1:02:25] Yes.

[1:02:26] Yeah, it was Rosie Greer and me.

[1:02:27] We're both...

[1:02:27] Mad Scientist turned us into a bra.

[1:02:29] It was one of the crazier movies.

[1:02:31] It was earlier in my career.

[1:02:32] Anyway, I should get going so you can finish, I assume, talking about how great the movie is.

[1:02:37] Gotta go.

[1:02:37] Bye.

[1:02:39] Oh, man, guys.

[1:02:40] Oh, there's Elias.

[1:02:41] Oh, some kind of masked figure came in and tied me up, and I'm glad he let me go, because

[1:02:45] my throat was starting to hurt.

[1:02:47] So, anyway...

Chris Weitz

[1:02:48] Actually, I think it would have been, to what Stallone said, I didn't hear it, Elliot, but

[1:02:53] it would have been great if Rambo and his niece killed all the guys, right?

[1:02:58] Because then she could have actually enacted some kind of revenge on her own part, but no.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:03] Oh, yeah.

[1:03:03] No, no.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:04] Yeah.

[1:03:04] That's not...

[1:03:05] It would have been, you know, like a human being who has gone through some trauma and,

[1:03:09] like, working through it and seeing how that affects that person.

[1:03:13] I don't know.

[1:03:14] Similar to a movie called First Blood.

[1:03:18] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:19] Yeah.

[1:03:20] So, he buries her.

[1:03:22] Stuart, you had something you want to say about her grave?

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:24] Well, what I...

[1:03:25] I have a lot of questions.

[1:03:26] One is that, like, they seem...

[1:03:28] The grave is covered.

[1:03:29] The headstone is a simple cross, but it's covered in, like, scrawl from, I'm assuming,

[1:03:35] her classmates.

[1:03:36] Like, it was like a cast, like a plaster cast from a broken arm.

[1:03:40] Yeah.

[1:03:40] And so, does that mean they had a funeral?

[1:03:43] And if they had a funeral, what did they tell everybody?

[1:03:46] And did they tell the police?

[1:03:48] Like, what...

[1:03:50] How did they get her body from the truck into the ground with a headstone on it?

[1:03:56] Guys.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:56] I mean, maybe he just always has a headstone ready for everybody he knows in case they die

[1:04:01] and he has to get revenge on them.

[1:04:02] And he just pulls it out of his tunnels.

[1:04:04] He's got a lot of storage space.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:05] And all the notes were notes that he wrote to, like, make it seem like she had a bunch

[1:04:11] of friends.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:12] He wanted her ghost to think that she was more popular than she was.

[1:04:15] Yeah.

[1:04:15] So, he, like, got into the character of a bunch of teens and he probably dressed up like them

[1:04:18] to really get into their personalities.

[1:04:20] And he was like, yeah, see ya.

[1:04:22] Have a great summer.

[1:04:23] And stuff like that.

[1:04:24] You know.

[1:04:25] You know.

[1:04:25] BBFF was just best buddy friends forever.

[1:04:29] Oh, cool.

[1:04:30] And, yeah.

[1:04:31] It's...

[1:04:31] I assume that...

[1:04:32] I assume it was all him play acting different teen parts.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:35] Well, that answered my question, guys.

[1:04:37] No.

[1:04:37] So...

[1:04:38] There's no plot holes in this movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:41] Rambo does the most healthy thing, which is he takes all of her pictures off the wall

[1:04:44] and puts them in a crate.

[1:04:45] And then says to the older woman, you leave.

[1:04:50] I guess I'll go back to being a drifter now.

[1:04:51] Well, he kicks her out, basically.

Chris Weitz

[1:04:53] Well, you find out later why.

[1:04:55] Because he's going to murder a thousand people.

[1:04:56] But he says, there's nothing here for you.

[1:05:00] There's nothing here for me.

[1:05:01] And so he tells her the false cover story that he's going to wander the earth, basically.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:08] Yes.

[1:05:08] Yeah, yeah.

[1:05:09] Riding wrongs and possibly taming horses somewhere.

[1:05:13] At first, I wasn't sure that it was a ploy.

[1:05:16] And so he just hung around his house.

[1:05:18] And I was like, well, that was a mean way to get rid of a roommate that I guess you're tired of.

[1:05:22] But he...

[1:05:23] I was confused by that, yes.

[1:05:24] It's time.

[1:05:25] Look, Sylvester...

[1:05:26] Look, Sylvester Rambo, this whole movie, he's been doing things that don't come naturally to him.

[1:05:31] Riding horses, going to Mexico, having a family.

[1:05:35] Now it's time for him to do what he does best, make weapons and traps.

[1:05:38] That's right.

[1:05:39] It's a montage of him prepping his farm and his tunnels with lots of defenses.

[1:05:44] And you know he's serious because he makes a new bow and arrow and a new knife.

[1:05:47] Which is like, that's how you know he's flipping the switch, you know, and getting back into killer Rambo mode.

[1:05:54] He goes back to Mexico and he asks the reporter to help him, but I don't know how she helps him.

[1:05:59] Because he just goes to one of the Martinez brothers' house and kills everybody there.

[1:06:03] And cuts off the brother's head and leaves a picture of Gabriela there.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:08] I just love how he disposes of this head by, like, we see him driving back to America and he, like, puts it out the window and drops it.

[1:06:19] And I'm like, how long has he been Alfredo Garcia-ing this?

[1:06:23] Yeah, just talking to him?

[1:06:24] Yeah, he, like, took the head.

[1:06:26] He's like, oh, okay, I gotta make it really dramatic.

[1:06:29] Like, why don't I just leave the head there?

[1:06:30] But he's like, nope, you know, I gotta do this for the unseen camera.

[1:06:34] Take it with me and then throw it out the window.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:37] He had just seen Hereditary.

[1:06:39] And he was like, I want to reenact that head on the side of the road.

[1:06:42] So that's what I'll do.

[1:06:43] Spoilers.

[1:06:44] Oh, spoiler alert.

[1:06:46] I assume that he, you know, during the, he took the head and he's like, I'll just throw this into the, on the ground.

[1:06:53] And then he realized he never had a friend.

[1:06:58] And so he just started talking.

[1:06:59] It was like Wilson in Castaway.

[1:07:01] Like, he's like, oh, finally, this is my friend.

[1:07:02] But on the drive back, the head wanted to change.

[1:07:05] They get into a fight.

[1:07:06] Yeah, exactly.

[1:07:07] He wanted to change the radio station.

[1:07:08] Or maybe he, like, said something neat about Rambo's car.

[1:07:10] And Rambo's like, forget you.

[1:07:11] I don't need a head for a friend.

[1:07:12] And threw him out, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:14] I assume that he, you know, it wasn't until that he had already started driving that he's like, what?

[1:07:19] I took the head?

[1:07:20] Okay, well, when I pass.

[1:07:22] He's like, when I pass the garbage can, I'll throw it out.

[1:07:25] But, like, he keeps driving.

[1:07:26] There's no garbage cans.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:27] He's like, oh, Rambo, you're so apt.

[1:07:29] Absent-minded.

[1:07:31] Yes.

[1:07:31] And he's like, is this?

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:32] And then he's, like, in his car.

[1:07:34] He's, like, Googling, like, is a human head, like, will it, like, you know, decompose?

[1:07:39] Like, whatever.

[1:07:40] Will it?

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:41] How fast he decompose?

[1:07:42] I mean, also, he's already driving without a license.

[1:07:45] Because the bad guys took his driver's license earlier in the movie.

[1:07:47] It's true.

[1:07:47] So texting while driving is just another one of the crimes.

[1:07:50] And it's, I guess it shows how desensitized I am to violence in movies that after I watched it, I was like, he did a lot of driving without a license in this movie.

[1:07:57] That's not okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:58] But this moment is so superfluous.

[1:08:00] I wish they had just gone further with it.

[1:08:02] Like, you toss it out the window and go, that's no way to get ahead.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:06] I wish someone was here to hear me say that.

[1:08:09] There's a car driving the other way.

[1:08:10] And it's a family going down to Mexico on vacation.

[1:08:12] And the kids in the back are fighting.

[1:08:14] And the dad's like, so help me.

[1:08:15] I'll turn this car around.

[1:08:17] And then a head lands on the hood.

[1:08:18] And they go, ah.

[1:08:19] And he does turn the car around.

[1:08:20] And they try back.

Chris Weitz

[1:08:22] Or they could be playing highway bingo.

[1:08:26] And decapitated head finishes the game.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:31] Every space on the card is marked except for decapitated head.

[1:08:34] And they're like, oh, man, I'll never win this game.

[1:08:37] And then the head lands on the hood.

[1:08:39] And the kid goes, jackpot.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:40] Yeah, he looks up and he says, thank you, God, like an animal house.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:46] He punches his sister and goes, punch head.

[1:08:49] And, you know, like car games, you know.

[1:08:51] Anyway.

[1:08:52] So he's baited the trap.

[1:08:54] He's baited the trap.

[1:08:55] I guess he leaves his address.

[1:08:58] Well, they have his driver's license.

[1:09:00] Of course, of course, of course.

[1:09:01] So probably off camera is the scene where they go to their tech guy.

[1:09:05] And he looks up to see if that's still where Rambo is registered at for voting or tax purposes.

[1:09:10] I need you to extract an address from this driver's license.

[1:09:14] He's like, okay, but it's going to take time.

[1:09:16] Computer enhance.

[1:09:18] He goes, computer enhance.

[1:09:19] And he just holds it closer to his face.

[1:09:21] Yep.

[1:09:23] So Rambo knows there's an army of goons that's going to be heading his way.

[1:09:28] They do.

[1:09:29] And this comes up to, I feel like, maybe the most perfunctory defending your house under siege scene I've ever seen.

[1:09:37] Because Rambo is just destroying these guys.

[1:09:40] And his traps are just destroying them.

[1:09:42] And it's lucky for the remaining Martinez brother that he brought as many guys as he did.

[1:09:46] Because if he didn't, Rambo wouldn't get to use all his traps.

[1:09:49] Like, I'm sure.

Chris Weitz

[1:09:50] That is the thing.

[1:09:51] It's like every single.

[1:09:52] But if he missed out on one of the traps killing somebody, would he have to maneuver someone around very carefully to use that trap?

[1:09:59] Yeah.

[1:09:59] Is the question.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:00] And meanwhile, Rambo is tunneling underground and popping up every now and then like Bugs Bunny and shooting people and going back underground.

[1:10:08] And it's like, there's no.

[1:10:10] And while watching, I'm like, oh, there's no suspense in this scene.

[1:10:13] But then I was like, oh, it's not supposed to have suspense.

[1:10:15] It's just the visceral catharsis of watching people who are not like you murdered and blown up and having rakes in their faces.

[1:10:22] And around the 50th guy getting killed, I was like, are they going to introduce any new traps?

[1:10:27] Is it just going to be the same traps over and over again?

Dan McCoy

[1:10:29] This is the point in the movie where you're like, okay, there's like 25 minutes left.

[1:10:33] And you're like, okay, this is what the whole movie.

[1:10:36] This is the whole point of the movie.

[1:10:37] Like, this movie exists for this last 25 minutes.

[1:10:40] And you have to sit through all the ugly, unpleasant shit to set up the reason why this crazy ending where everyone gets rakes in the faces happened.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:52] That was my same review for Home Alone, by the way.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:56] Well, and if you're like me and you're totally desensitized toward violence and can't just view it as like, okay, this is like a fun house, like Hollywood thing.

[1:11:07] Like, let's see how they killed this guy.

[1:11:09] Like, I could see getting like visceral thrills from just like, okay, well, this is like the, yeah, as Stuart says, like the ultra violent Home Alone.

[1:11:19] But God damn, I do not recommend anyone wade through the sewer to get to this point.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:25] Well, the crazy thing about this point too is it is edited like the super cut of best Rambo kills that you would see on YouTube.

[1:11:31] Like, you'd see a YouTube video that's like Rambo last blood best kills.

[1:11:34] And it's just like rake to the face, blown up, shot in the head, napalm in his body.

[1:11:39] Like, an alligator goes up his butt.

[1:11:41] Then like a piranha jumps through his neck.

[1:11:43] And another rake to the face.

[1:11:44] And then like buzzsaw through the crotch.

[1:11:46] Like, just cut after cut after cut.

[1:11:48] It's really crazy.

Chris Weitz

[1:11:49] He does some very Rube Goldberg-esque ways of killing people too, where it's like it's just not efficient.

[1:11:54] He drills a hole in a wall so that he can poke somebody with a metal spike.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:59] It's like, good thing this guy walked exactly where I needed to, needed him to, so I could cut his Achilles tendon.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:12:05] The guy's like, what the hell's with that hole?

[1:12:08] Oh, no!

[1:12:10] And the thing is that the, my favorite Rambo kill, I mean, I think it's the one that is most often the highlight of those highlight cuts,

[1:12:21] is of course in Rambo, when he covers himself with mud, and a guy walks by, and then he opens his eyes,

[1:12:28] and you're like, Rambo's behind him the whole time.

[1:12:31] And they didn't do that.

[1:12:32] And I'm like, Rambo could easily look like a mud wall.

[1:12:37] Like, I'm surprised he didn't get to do that again.

Chris Weitz

[1:12:41] It's true, he's so craggy, he could basically have backed up into a rock wall, and you wouldn't notice.

[1:12:46] You wouldn't have to put any kind of camouflage on him.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:48] That'd be a funny scene.

[1:12:49] If he takes off all his clothes, then he's naked, and he just stands against a wall, and it looks like he's made out of craggy rocks.

[1:12:54] The thing about that mud kill that makes it less cool is just imagining him waiting there, hoping a guy walks by.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:01] That's the best part.

[1:13:02] I'm going to feel like that scene in, like, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, where all those, like, people are, like, in the mud on the wall,

[1:13:08] just waiting for Mutt Williams and Indy to show up.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:12] That they've been waiting for hundreds of years for somebody to come by so they can attack them.

[1:13:16] He, uh, it is, it's just like kill after kill, and it reaches, like, a 1980s level of murder excess.

[1:13:22] And I will say, if the preceding movie had not been so ugly and so, like, horrible, then I might have enjoyed this just because it's so goofy.

[1:13:30] And there's a moment where Rambo starts blasting the doors over the loudspeakers underneath, and it's like, oh, this became the thing that Bloodshot, the movie we were talking about in the last episode,

[1:13:41] was parodying when it had the guy dancing to Psycho Killer and then, and killing Vin Diesel's wife.

[1:13:48] Like, that he's, and also, the Doors song is all about how, like, the old are going to die and the young will take over the earth,

[1:13:53] while this very old man is killing all these younger guys.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:57] He's, like, 72 when this was made, right? 72?

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:00] 1972, yeah.

[1:14:02] Yeah.

[1:14:02] No, that's, he has, uh, he said probably, I think about 15 years ago, he said he was too old to play Rambo anymore.

[1:14:08] And I guess he decided, uh, he wasn't.

[1:14:10] I mean, he still looks terrifying.

[1:14:13] I don't know.

[1:14:13] Yeah.

[1:14:14] Uh, and Rambo gets shot, but it's fine.

[1:14:16] He can absorb bullets like, like nobody's business.

[1:14:19] He lets, uh.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:20] It's fine because there's ultimately no stakes at this point.

[1:14:23] We're like.

[1:14:23] No.

[1:14:23] We're like, well, if Rambo dies, he's at least doing what he fucking loves.

[1:14:27] He's murdering dudes.

Chris Weitz

[1:14:29] Well, but it's important that he literally tear out the heart of his enemy.

[1:14:34] Oh, right.

[1:14:35] Oh, shit.

[1:14:36] Fuck.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:36] Yeah, he said he, he said he wants the Martinez brothers to know what it feels like,

[1:14:40] to know his grief and his anger, to know what it's like to have his heart torn out.

[1:14:43] So he leads the last, he says, I saved you for last, the last bad guy,

[1:14:48] and, uh, chases him into a barn, or he traps him in a barn, and Rambo shoots his arms and

[1:14:53] legs full of arrows that go so far through his body that they pin him to the wall of the barn.

[1:14:58] And then he walks up to him with this huge.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:59] I mean, English longbowman could put an arrow through a tree, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:03] That's true.

[1:15:04] And Rambo, we know he's good with bows and arrows.

[1:15:06] Like, that's, it's not, it's not like this is a new thing.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:08] Bow and arrow technology has advanced since then, too.

[1:15:11] So there you go.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:13] Since the era of the English longbowman?

[1:15:15] Yeah, that's true.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:16] That's not a goof, Elliot, is what I'm saying.

[1:15:18] Don't go on time, BB.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:19] Okay, fair point, fair point.

[1:15:21] It's just earlier we saw him shoot arrows through playing cards.

[1:15:24] Yeah.

[1:15:24] And it's like, is the human body the same thinness as the playing cards?

[1:15:28] But it makes me wish this was about Rambo getting trapped in a Home Depot, and like having

[1:15:32] to use the stuff that was there, like a staple gun and things like that, to try to stop people.

[1:15:36] And they could have called it either Home Rambo, or Rambo Depot, or Home Rambo-po.

[1:15:41] Maybe Home Rambo-po.

[1:15:44] They'll get confused with Tempopo, Elliot.

[1:15:47] Oh, what a great, great don't hit your Tempopo.

Chris Weitz

[1:15:49] Rambo-po is when he uses noodles to kill people.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:53] That would be amazing, yeah.

[1:15:55] Like he strangles them.

[1:15:56] He wants to teach this woman how to make the best ramen, but he's just killing everybody

[1:16:01] who comes in.

[1:16:02] Oh, man, what a great movie, Tempopo.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:05] So he chops this dude's heart out, and he like holds it in front of him, and we're like.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:10] Well, no, no, no, okay, let's not gloss.

[1:16:12] Come on, Stuart, you're not giving me this moment.

[1:16:13] Yeah, come on, you need the foreplay before that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:16] He stabs in.

[1:16:16] He walks up to him.

[1:16:17] He takes a while walking up to him with the knife, too.

Chris Weitz

[1:16:20] He explains that metaphorically, the guy had torn out his heart.

[1:16:24] So literally, he's going to tear out his heart, which is a bit.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:27] So he can appreciate this.

[1:16:28] He makes this L-shaped cut in the guy's chest, reaches in, yanks out the heart, which is still

[1:16:37] beating, showing it to him.

[1:16:39] And this is the one moment of actual enjoyment I got out of Rampo last blood, because I was

[1:16:44] like, is he going to do it?

[1:16:46] Is he going to do it?

[1:16:47] Holy shit, he did it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:48] And you're waiting for him to take a bite out of that heart.

[1:16:51] Yeah.

[1:16:51] But unfortunately, he doesn't.

Chris Weitz

[1:16:53] He thinks about it.

[1:16:53] But also, there's a problem with the villain in as much as he has nothing interesting

[1:16:58] to say at that point.

[1:16:59] You know, you want some kind of rhetorical flourish from the villain to justify the intensity

[1:17:07] of tearing out his heart.

[1:17:08] But all he says is, fuck you, basically.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:11] Yeah, he's such a generic, faceless, almost nameless villain.

[1:17:17] And yeah, you want, like, if this is probably going to be the last Rambo movie, I hate to

[1:17:20] break it to you guys.

[1:17:22] But you kind of want him, not that Rambo, the movies have ever been known for their, like,

[1:17:26] necessarily their amazing bad guys.

[1:17:28] Or dialogue.

[1:17:29] Or dialogue.

[1:17:30] I mean, Rambo, is it, it's the second Rambo, right?

[1:17:34] Where he gets to say, she asks, what does expendable mean?

[1:17:36] And he goes, it's like, you know, you're invited to a party and you don't show up and no one

[1:17:40] cares.

[1:17:40] And I've always loved that line.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:42] Oh, and there's the line where he's like, who are you?

[1:17:44] Your worst nightmare.

[1:17:45] I mean, that shit's golden.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:48] But there's not a lot of good conversations, I guess, in the Rambo movies.

[1:17:51] But you do want something from him.

[1:17:53] But instead, it's just like, you might as well have Rambo say to him, hey, listen, I'm

[1:17:58] sorry, you had to be the bad guy that I acted out the last of my war trauma on.

[1:18:02] But this could be particularly bad for you.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:05] Now, wait, which Rambo movie was it where Rambo had to go and he had to rescue Stanley

[1:18:11] Spadowski from the thing?

[1:18:13] And then they climbed onto the thing and they kept shooting guys?

[1:18:17] And Rambo is played by Weird Al?

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:19] You're thinking of UHF.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:21] Oh, okay.

[1:18:22] All right.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:23] Yeah.

[1:18:23] So Rambo, this is the point in another movie where Rambo, he climbs onto his porch and

[1:18:31] he has a voiceover about how all his life he's only known death and everyone he knows is

[1:18:34] gone.

[1:18:35] And the way this movie should end is that Rambo dies.

[1:18:39] Yeah.

[1:18:39] Which, yeah, I expected that.

[1:18:41] But no.

[1:18:41] In his voiceover he goes, but I guess I'll defend their memories forever.

[1:18:44] And it's like, oh, okay, so are you going to keep going?

[1:18:47] And it's like, Rambo's like, my life is terrible.

[1:18:49] Everyone I know has died.

[1:18:50] I'm just a harbinger of death.

[1:18:52] Well, tomorrow's another day.

[1:18:55] No sleep for the wicked, I guess.

Chris Weitz

[1:18:57] His body has absorbed the bullets he's been pierced with as well.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:00] Oh, by this point, his body has been shot so many times that it knows how to turn that

[1:19:04] into nutrients.

[1:19:05] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:05] Well, and like when he says he's going to defend their memories forever, I'd like to see

[1:19:10] him on that chair on his laptop writing their story.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:17] The next scene then cuts to, it's like the end of Born on the Fourth of July.

[1:19:20] It cuts to him at a signing for his bestselling book about his experiences.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:24] And then over the credits, we get like shots from the past three Rambo movies.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:33] It's mostly scenes from First Blood.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:35] Yeah.

[1:19:35] And they show a couple shots.

[1:19:37] Well, they cover it all.

[1:19:38] But it's just a hilarious way.

[1:19:40] Like, don't get me wrong.

[1:19:42] This is by far the part of the movie that I enjoy the most.

[1:19:45] Just seeing like shots from old Rambo movies.

[1:19:48] At the same time, it is such a wacky way to end this movie because it's just like Rambo

[1:19:52] is not a heartwarming character.

[1:19:54] So it's kind of like, remember all these fun times we had with Rambo?

[1:19:57] It's all images of him killing people and being angry.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:02] I thought it was especially weird that they played You Got a Friend and Me over it.

[1:20:05] That was the strange part.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:07] Yeah.

[1:20:07] You're like, look at how young Sylvester Stallone is.

[1:20:10] Wow.

[1:20:10] Look how yoked he is, guys.

[1:20:13] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:14] Look at those traps.

[1:20:16] So Rambo Last Blood is very much, I would say, the least of these movies.

[1:20:20] And like, here's the thing about the Rambo movies.

[1:20:22] Except for the first one, I think when all of them came out, they were considered trash.

[1:20:27] And kind of time has allowed us to view them semi-ironically in a way that makes them more

[1:20:32] fun.

[1:20:32] But I don't know that this one is going to go through that process.

[1:20:34] It's just so gross.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:36] No, and that leads us into Final Judgments, where we make our final judgments on movies

[1:20:42] that we watch.

[1:20:44] And whether they are a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie we kind of liked, I

[1:20:49] will say that this is a bad bad movie.

[1:20:51] It has an ugly black heart.

[1:20:53] It loves to put its characters through unpleasantness just because it can.

[1:21:00] And I did not enjoy it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:04] So watching this movie put me in mind of a scene in Rambo 3, where Rambo gets shot and

[1:21:11] the bullet goes all the way through him.

[1:21:13] So the only way he can cauterize the wound, the only way he can handle this trauma, is

[1:21:18] by filling that wound with gunpowder and then lighting it on fire.

[1:21:22] And that's kind of what going through watching this movie felt like to me.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:28] Yeah, it's a bad, bad movie.

[1:21:30] Stuart, I assume you're saying it's a movie you kind of liked then?

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:32] Oh, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:33] No, it's a bad, bad movie.

[1:21:35] And Chris, I want to apologize on behalf of the Flophouse for making you watch this particular

[1:21:39] one.

[1:21:40] I knew this movie was like, I had heard a lot about its racism, but I did not know it.

[1:21:47] I didn't know ahead of time about it.

[1:21:49] It's just grimness and disgustingness in terms of the way it handles the character.

[1:21:55] So I guess we'll have to save a fun one for you next time.

[1:21:59] Well, listen, plot twist.

Chris Weitz

[1:22:03] I loved it.

[1:22:04] What?

[1:22:06] Just for the politics.

[1:22:10] You know, sometimes you guys are just too hard on movies, you know?

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:16] You're right.

[1:22:16] We really should have checked our brain at the door.

Chris Weitz

[1:22:18] Just let it.

[1:22:18] I want to really think about what the intentions of the director.

[1:22:21] Looks it up.

[1:22:22] Can't find it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:24] German guy, I think.

[1:22:26] Adrian Grunberg.

[1:22:27] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:27] I can't have like one other credit.

[1:22:29] Well, he was a...

[1:22:29] He was...

[1:22:30] He directed the movie Get the Gringo.

[1:22:32] Oh, yes.

[1:22:33] Guy has a great relationship with movies set in Mexico.

[1:22:36] Mexico.

Chris Weitz

[1:22:36] He really...

[1:22:37] Yeah, he's the guy you got you.

[1:22:38] Yeah.

[1:22:39] For cultural relevance.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:41] But he's been...

[1:22:43] This was his second movie as director.

[1:22:45] He was an assistant director.

Chris Weitz

[1:22:47] Sophomore slaughter.

[1:22:49] I call it.

[1:22:50] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:51] Yeah.

[1:22:52] It was...

[1:22:52] I was really...

[1:22:52] I was disappointed only because I expect a certain level of like...

[1:22:55] Bigness.

[1:22:57] Thrills.

[1:22:57] From Rambo movies.

[1:22:58] Yeah.

[1:22:59] And this was such a...

[1:23:00] Part of it was that it was such a like small movie.

[1:23:03] And really like just unpleasant.

[1:23:06] And you know, but what are you going to do?

[1:23:08] They don't...

[1:23:08] The world's not safe for Rambos anymore.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:10] You know?

[1:23:11] I mean, would you say like...

[1:23:12] This movie felt so much like a Western.

[1:23:14] I don't know if I would consider it like...

[1:23:16] Do you feel that a lot of the other Rambo movies are Westerns?

[1:23:19] Like that kind of a...

[1:23:20] Like a lone hero?

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:23] Yes.

[1:23:23] They're definitely...

[1:23:24] They're kind of Westerns in the clothing of war movies.

[1:23:29] Because it's almost always about a hero going in...

[1:23:32] A lone hero going in to like save some people.

[1:23:35] And...

[1:23:35] Except for the first one.

[1:23:36] The first one is a...

[1:23:37] Is a...

[1:23:38] Like kind of vigilante slasher movie almost.

[1:23:40] In the clothes of a...

[1:23:42] Of a 70s character drama.

[1:23:44] But it's...

[1:23:45] This is very much...

[1:23:47] Like this movie wants to be unforgiven.

[1:23:48] Really badly.

[1:23:49] And it's...

[1:23:51] Even to the point of...

[1:23:51] Every time he was standing over that grave.

[1:23:53] I was like, oh yeah.

[1:23:54] Because in Unforgiven he stands at a grave.

[1:23:56] And it's just not Unforgiven.

[1:23:58] Because Unforgiven I think is aware of how...

[1:24:00] Tawdry the things it's covering are.

[1:24:02] And the whole point of Unforgiven is like...

[1:24:04] This is the kind of stuff that usually in movies we treat heroically.

[1:24:07] But it's kind of gross and bleak here.

[1:24:09] And in this one it was like...

[1:24:10] The world's a terrible place.

[1:24:12] And it takes a bad man to set things right.

[1:24:14] We need Rambos on that wall protecting us.

[1:24:16] Yeah.

[1:24:17] Oh boy.

[1:24:18] So I can't wait for...

[1:24:19] But I kind of want them to do one called like Space Rambo.

[1:24:22] Where he gets frozen and thought...

[1:24:24] I mean I guess that's Demolition Man to a certain extent.

[1:24:26] Rambo X.

[1:24:27] Rambo X.

[1:24:28] The one where he is playing Malcolm X.

[1:24:32] That seems like very tasteless casting.

[1:24:34] Very...

[1:24:35] That was not what I was referencing.

[1:24:36] I don't know why you'd suggest that.

[1:24:37] Not what I was referencing.

[1:24:38] I don't know why you'd ever compare the two.

Chris Weitz

[1:24:40] Rambo versus Jason.

[1:24:42] You could see him actually in the pantheon of horror icons.

[1:24:45] Yeah.

[1:24:46] Icons.

[1:24:46] Oh yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:47] Oh he's much more of a...

[1:24:49] Body count alone.

[1:24:50] He's like the slasher who's the good guy.

[1:24:53] And he just exists to kill.

[1:24:55] But he happens to be the good guy.

[1:24:56] But like just the fact that he's you know...

[1:24:59] More of a cartoon than a character.

[1:25:01] Like he's more of a Freddy Krueger or a Jason.

[1:25:04] Than he is like a John Wayne.

[1:25:07] You know.

[1:25:07] Again John Wayne's not a character.

[1:25:08] He's a person.

[1:25:09] But you know what I mean.

[1:25:10] Yeah yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:10] Right Stu?

[1:25:11] Oh yeah I know.

S5

[1:25:17] Hey MaxFun listeners.

[1:25:19] Have you been listening to MaxFun for a while?

[1:25:21] And you've just been wondering.

[1:25:22] Where's the new Flat Earth podcast to keep hearing about?

S6

[1:25:25] Well here it is.

[1:25:26] We give you all the facts on NASA's lies.

[1:25:29] And how we know that the Earth is actually flat.

[1:25:33] Just kidding.

[1:25:34] This is Oh No Ross and Carrie.

[1:25:36] And we join fringe religious groups.

[1:25:39] We undergo alternative medical treatments.

S5

[1:25:41] And we hang out with people like 9-11 truthers.

[1:25:43] Flat earthers.

[1:25:44] We find out why do people believe strange things.

S6

[1:25:47] We join them.

[1:25:47] And we tell you all about it.

[1:25:49] We have a lot of fun.

[1:25:49] We make a lot of friends.

S5

[1:25:51] Yeah we do.

[1:25:51] We join the Mormons.

[1:25:52] We join the Scientologists.

[1:25:54] We got acupunctured.

[1:25:55] We got fire cupped.

[1:25:56] We got ear kindled.

[1:25:57] We've done it all.

[1:25:58] And we're going to keep doing it all.

[1:25:59] Why don't you check out Oh No Ross and Carrie at MaximumFun.org.

Chris Weitz

[1:26:10] Welcome.

[1:26:11] No problem.

[1:26:12] These are real podcast listeners.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:14] Not actors.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:15] What do you look for in a podcast?

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:18] Reliability is big for me.

[1:26:19] Power.

[1:26:20] I'd say comfort.

[1:26:22] What do you think of this?

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:25] Oh.

[1:26:27] That's Jordan Jesse Go.

[1:26:28] Jordan Jesse Go?

[1:26:29] They came out of the floor?

[1:26:31] And down from the ceiling?

Dan McCoy

[1:26:33] That can't be safe.

[1:26:35] I'm upset.

[1:26:36] Can we go now?

[1:26:38] Soon.

Chris Weitz

[1:26:40] Jordan Jesse Go.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:41] A real podcast.

[1:26:45] The Flop House is sponsored in part by Squarespace.

[1:26:50] Hey.

[1:26:51] Why not use Squarespace if you want to make a website?

[1:26:54] Guys.

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[1:27:26] And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:35] Hey, Dan, I had an idea for a website, and I was wondering if Squarespace might be able to help me with it.

[1:27:39] They haven't let us down yet, but pitch it to me.

[1:27:42] I made all that.

[1:27:43] So this is – I was kind of inspired by the movie.

[1:27:45] And, you know, I moved into a new house last year, and we had kind of a rat problem when we first got here.

[1:27:49] And I was like, if only there was a service where I could sign up online and they could set up Rambo-style traps around my house to catch these rats.

[1:27:57] And so it doesn't exist, so I'm just going to have to make it.

[1:28:00] And so I wanted to register the domain ratbowbrandranbowstylerattraps.com.

[1:28:09] And at ratbowbrandranbowstylerattraps, we take the intensity and the killing ability that only a traumatized Vietnam vet has and use it to rid your home of vermin.

[1:28:21] So we've got little spring-loaded rakes that stab rats in the head.

[1:28:24] We've got, like, tiny little thermite bombs that blow rats up.

[1:28:27] We have a little man who runs around with a pump-action shotgun and just blows the head off of rats.

[1:28:32] And so people need to sign up to the website.

[1:28:34] I was trying to do this just through buzz ads, and it wasn't working.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:38] L.A., do you think you're going to have some trouble with, you know, people who would prefer, I don't know, say, like a nonviolent means of ridding their house of vermin?

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:46] I believe that that is not our market.

[1:28:48] I think there's an untapped market there for people who want a very violent means of ridding their house of vermin.

[1:28:53] And so ratbowbrandranbowstylerattraps.com is your place to either buy these traps and install them yourself, which I would not recommend at all, or to buy the traps and then also hire one of our ratbowbrandranbowstylerattraps specialists to set these traps up around your house.

[1:29:11] And just listen to some of these testimonies from satisfied ratbowbrandranbowstylerattraps customers.

[1:29:17] Okay, here's just one from a satisfied customer.

[1:29:19] Yeah, I had some rats in my house, and I figured, oh, what better way to get rid of them?

[1:29:24] Set up some rambow traps.

[1:29:26] I decided to go with one of their advisors who helped me set the traps over the internet during a Skype call.

[1:29:33] And you know what?

[1:29:34] The next day, my house was littered with the body parts of broken rats.

[1:29:39] Thank you, ratbowbrandranbowstylerattraps.com.

[1:29:43] So you can't argue with that kind of success and that kind of happy customers.

[1:29:47] Do you think Squarespace would be able to help me set up that website, which apparently I already have set up because I have a testimonial?

Dan McCoy

[1:29:54] I assume you used Squarespace in the past, but yes, I think that they could help with that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:59] Okay, great.

[1:30:00] Thanks, Dan.

[1:30:00] Much appreciated.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:03] The podcast is also sponsored in part by Raycon.

[1:30:08] Whether you're working from home or working on your fitness, you want what you're listening to to be what you're listening to, not what the other folks in your apartment or house may be listening to.

[1:30:20] Or maybe you want to block out the people upstairs who, ever since quarantine started, seem to be exercising 24-7.

[1:30:29] Anyway.

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:29] Dan, I don't think they're exercising.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:31] No, no.

[1:30:32] Well, why not check out the wireless earbuds from Raycon?

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[1:31:01] Wireless earbuds are so comfortable, perfect for conference calls or binging podcasts.

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[1:31:17] You take them out, they pair immediately.

[1:31:19] If you want to turn up the volume, you can just tap on the side of your ear like some sort of space, some sort of Lobot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:28] Lobots are in space, yep.

[1:31:30] I mean, technically everything's in space.

[1:31:32] The Lobot is on a planet.

Dan McCoy

[1:31:34] Now's the time to get the latest and greatest from Raycon.

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[1:31:48] They say it a third time.

[1:31:50] Buyraycon.com slash flop.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:52] Can you spell Raycon?

Dan McCoy

[1:31:54] Oh, yeah.

[1:31:54] That would be useful.

[1:31:55] It is Ray, like the artist Ray Charles, and con, like the movie Con Air.

[1:32:04] All one word, Raycon.

[1:32:06] Ray Charles Con Air.

[1:32:07] Got it.

[1:32:08] Yep.

[1:32:08] No, Raycon.

[1:32:11] So, guys, now's the time that we take some letters from listeners.

[1:32:16] I have them in front of me in my hot little hand.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:20] I'm going to mention we are recording this at a time when if there wasn't a global pandemic,

[1:32:25] Stuart and Dan and I would be in Toronto right now.

[1:32:27] We would have just done a show the night before.

[1:32:29] Sorry, Toronto.

[1:32:30] I know I'm disappointed we didn't get to do that show.

[1:32:33] We will be back someday.

[1:32:34] I promise that.

[1:32:35] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:35] Yes.

[1:32:37] Yes.

[1:32:37] We all look forward for many reasons for the end of this thing.

[1:32:42] Our reason is a little less important than others, but we do want to see all of you in person.

[1:32:49] We miss touring.

[1:32:51] But this first letter, I have neglected to put who sent it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:58] Okay.

[1:32:58] So, a mystery afoot.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:01] So, a whole name withheld.

[1:33:03] Why, hello, General Kerfloppers.

[1:33:06] I want to start off by saying I enjoy you all equally except for Elliot.

[1:33:10] He's my favorite.

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:11] Hey, thanks.

[1:33:12] Fuck that letter written by Elliot's mom.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:15] No, it seems to me I know why Dan buried the name of this person.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:19] I think in January I finally got caught up on my previous favorite podcast, my brother, my brother and me.

[1:33:24] So, I had to find a new one and I settled on yours.

[1:33:27] I'm writing this.

[1:33:28] As I'm writing this, I'm on episode 159.

[1:33:31] I'm very hooked on your podcast.

[1:33:33] And the catalog is invaluable to my sanity during the quarantine we're in.

[1:33:37] 159.

[1:33:38] Which one is that?

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:40] Let's take a look, shall we?

Dan McCoy

[1:33:41] Yeah, let's look it up.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:44] It's 159.

[1:33:45] It is Walking with Dinosaurs.

[1:33:48] Oh, nice.

[1:33:49] Oh, I forgot about that one.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:51] It's Kevin Marr.

[1:33:52] Yeah, Kevin Marr was a guest.

[1:33:53] I have a question for you all as well.

[1:33:55] I'm a younger listener, if you could not tell.

[1:33:57] And I wanted to ask if there were any movies you guys think are very important for a younger fan of film to see.

[1:34:04] I really like gangster and crime films.

[1:34:07] But really, I'm happy to watch and explore all kinds of different genres of film.

[1:34:13] And so, that's the question.

[1:34:16] My immediate thought off of this is like, just be curious.

[1:34:21] Like, I don't know if there's something that I would point someone to specifically just because I don't like being the kind of person who's like, you've got to see this.

[1:34:31] But I think it's good, if you're interested in a film, to sort of broaden your tastes early so you don't get set in your ways.

[1:34:42] Like, watch old movies so you're not, I don't know, like confused by the different ways that people may have gone about acting or putting together a film back then.

[1:34:53] Watch silent films.

[1:34:54] Watch foreign films.

[1:34:57] You know, sample around.

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:59] Yeah, I mean, you want to watch the classics.

[1:35:01] You want to watch Castle Freak, The Granny, Invisible Maniac.

[1:35:07] But I mean.

[1:35:07] Head of the family, right, Stu?

[1:35:08] Head of the family, of course.

[1:35:09] The holy quadrilogy.

[1:35:13] But the, of course, if you like gangster movies and you want a foundational piece of cinema, of course, I'm going to recommend that you watch Ricky O, The Story of Ricky.

[1:35:22] The best movie ever made.

[1:35:25] And how is that a gangster film?

[1:35:27] Well, I mean, it takes place in a private prison, Elliot.

[1:35:30] Good point.

[1:35:31] Sure.

[1:35:33] And, of course, Ricky has been rightfully in prison because he killed the drug dealers that gave drugs to his girlfriend and made her jump off of a building.

[1:35:41] So watch Story of Ricky, Ricky O.

[1:35:44] Yeah, it's great.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:46] I'm going to repeat what Dan said, which is just try to watch a little bit of everything and see what appeals to you before you start hearing from other people what they like and what they don't like.

[1:35:58] Or if you start hearing from other people what they like and what they don't like, like take it with a grain of salt and use that as a way to try new stuff.

[1:36:04] But you don't have to feel the same way other people do about it.

[1:36:06] But the way I learned about movies was in an incredibly haphazard way, which was literally just I would go through the TV guide because that's how old I am.

[1:36:14] Now I go through the onscreen cable guide.

[1:36:17] And any movie that sounded remotely interesting to me, I would tape and I would watch it.

[1:36:22] And so I ended up watching a lot, a lot of different stuff.

[1:36:24] Some of it wasn't so great, but some of it is stuff that I never would have known to seek out.

[1:36:29] And so like and I still do that when I go through the cable guide on Turner Classic Movies and basically if there's a foreign movie that I've never heard of, I record it.

[1:36:36] And I've seen a lot of stuff that I wouldn't have seen otherwise that I really liked a lot.

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:40] Hey, Elliot, I'm sorry to interrupt.

[1:36:42] I stepped away because my cat is going crazy.

[1:36:45] But did you say you just follow the advice of Armand White and watch whatever movies he likes?

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:50] That's exactly what I said.

[1:36:51] I said there's no there's no critic who represents my taste as much as Armand White.

[1:36:56] I hate the Toy Story movies.

[1:36:57] I love Jack and Jill.

[1:36:59] If other critics like a movie, then I hate it.

[1:37:01] And if other critics hate a movie, then I think it's great.

[1:37:04] And the end.

[1:37:05] That's exactly the opposite of what I would do.

[1:37:07] Stuart, come on.

[1:37:09] But yeah, just like anything that seems remotely interesting, try it.

[1:37:14] And even things that don't seem interesting, try them and just sample as widely as you can.

[1:37:18] Chris, what about you?

[1:37:19] You're the professional filmmaker.

Chris Weitz

[1:37:20] Oh, yeah, I would say I agree with what you guys are saying.

[1:37:25] And I would say take a lateral move here.

[1:37:28] Like, don't get stuck just in American gangster movies.

[1:37:31] But let's kind of reset the focus and look at High and Low, which is one of my favorite movies of all time.

[1:37:38] A Kurosawa movie, right?

[1:37:39] Which was then kind of ripped off for Ransom later.

[1:37:44] And High and Low is formally an amazing film, right?

[1:37:48] A lot of it just takes place just in one room, but it's always exciting.

[1:37:51] And Yojimbo, okay?

[1:37:52] Which is also about gangs, but it's just set in the 16th century in Japan.

[1:37:58] Another Kurosawa film.

[1:38:00] And so it's got that kind of gangster attitude to it.

[1:38:03] But formally, and in terms of its tropes, it's quite different.

Dan McCoy

[1:38:08] You know, Chris, this leads me actually to a question I was just sort of wondering about for myself that's sort of related.

[1:38:16] Which is, is there like a movie or movies that as a filmmaker, like you felt you particularly learned something from to apply in your work?

Chris Weitz

[1:38:27] I think it would probably be sort of screwball comedies and Preston Sturgis movies, maybe.

[1:38:36] And sort of Hollywood comedies from Lubitsch through Wilder with a detour through Sturgis is probably the thing that would at most influence sort of the way, well, when I'm actually successful at doing it, the stuff that I do.

[1:38:51] You know, the sort of sense that subsidiary characters are really important, this kind of sense of humane but cynical blend of humanity and cynicism.

[1:39:01] And I would love to think that all the Japanese movies that I love influenced me, but I can't really spot it in my own stuff.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:10] Well, let's move on, shall we?

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:13] Good answers.

[1:39:14] Good answers.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:16] This next and final letter is from Charles, last name withheld, who writes...

[1:39:21] Charles Schultz?

[1:39:21] Nelson Reilly?

[1:39:22] The ghost of Charles Schultz.

[1:39:24] Dear Lords of Floptum, I was reading an article recently about a Kickstarter aimed at funding the digital removal of the rat that scampers across a balcony banister at the end of The Departed, symbolizing the rat that was just killed in the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:41] Oh, my God.

[1:39:42] That's what it meant.

[1:39:43] Oh.

[1:39:44] Oh.

[1:39:45] Now...

[1:39:46] Oh.

[1:39:47] Okay.

[1:39:47] Oh, it makes so much sense now.

[1:39:49] Because he's a rat.

[1:39:51] Mm-hmm.

[1:39:52] Oh.

[1:39:52] Apparently...

[1:39:53] He died.

[1:39:54] Oh.

[1:39:56] But wait.

[1:39:58] No, that makes perfect...

[1:40:00] Oh, my God.

[1:40:01] It makes perfect sense.

[1:40:02] Okay.

[1:40:03] Whoa.

[1:40:04] That's why he's the master.

[1:40:06] That's why Scorsese...

[1:40:07] Oh, wow.

[1:40:08] Okay.

[1:40:08] Apparently, this was...

[1:40:11] Oh!

Dan McCoy

[1:40:12] He can't get over it.

[1:40:14] Amazing.

[1:40:17] Apparently, this was an egregious sin against cinema.

[1:40:21] Honestly, I don't give a shit about the rat, and who is anyone to tell Scorsese what to put in or omit from his movies.

[1:40:27] The reason I bring it up is that this gave me an idea for a way to settle Ding Dong Gate once and for all, and have Stu end up on the right side of history.

[1:40:35] All we have to do is create a Kickstarter to fund a reshoot of the now infamous scene and have the freak actually rip off his Ding Dong.

[1:40:43] Better yet, why not give him two Ding Dongs?

[1:40:46] He is a freak after all, and have him rip both of them off in unison.

[1:40:49] It would be, quite frankly, amazing.

[1:40:52] Keep it floppy, Charles, last name withheld.

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:54] Oh, that's great.

[1:40:55] Yeah, I do have a glossy 8x10 of Jonathan Fuller in the full freak makeup, and he did sign it.

[1:41:03] I ripped it off myself, so I think I'm in the right.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:08] Stuart Gordon...

[1:41:08] I'll let you say that the late Stuart Gordon did say on Twitter, which is how the president communicates, so it's an official archival document...

[1:41:16] The freak did not rip off his own Ding Dongs.

[1:41:18] Oh, man.

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:18] So I guess there's a lot of questions, basically.

[1:41:20] A lot of people, a lot of questions.

[1:41:22] And then, of course, you know, to talk about a movie that hasn't come out yet, they have the upcoming remake or reimagining of Castle Freak that's going to be coming out sometime, at some point, when movies are released again.

[1:41:38] And maybe we'll get to the bottom of it in there.

[1:41:40] Maybe we'll explore that, you know, facet of Giorgio the Freak.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:45] We'll find out.

[1:41:45] I want there to be a scene where he rips off his own Ding Dong, and he just goes, this is for you, Stuart!

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:50] Yeah, and up until then, and then after then, no other mention of Stuart is made.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:56] Now, I'm going to go off on a limb here, and I'm going to say something a little controversial, guys, about the thing that triggered this question, which was...

[1:42:03] Or letter, I guess.

[1:42:04] So, one, I would say it's really, except for purposes of humor or art pieces, it's really not up to fans to decide how to manipulate a movie that got made, because it's not theirs and they didn't make it.

[1:42:16] And unless you're talking about something like The Clock, which is built out of other people's films, which is a big 24-hour art piece, then, like, what are you doing?

[1:42:25] But also, guys, and maybe you'll disagree with me, I like that rat at the end of The Departed.

[1:42:29] I think it's great.

[1:42:30] Of course it's obvious.

[1:42:31] It's about how there's rot everywhere in this city, and even in this apartment, there's, like, still vermin going everywhere, because we live in a fallen world.

[1:42:40] So, like, but the idea that, like, oh, it's obvious.

[1:42:43] Like, of course it is.

[1:42:44] Fuck you, dude.

[1:42:45] Like, movies can be obvious sometimes.

[1:42:47] Symbology can be obvious.

[1:42:48] That's fine.

[1:42:48] Deal with it.

[1:42:49] Come on.

Dan McCoy

[1:42:49] Well, also, I think it's fun and goofy.

[1:42:51] Like, I think that people are taking The Departed a little too seriously if they get mad at the rat.

[1:42:56] Like, it's like, I love The Departed, but it is not, like, a deep exploration, like, for a Scorsese film in particular.

[1:43:05] Like, it is a fun, pulpy movie about, like, these parallel, I mean, like...

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:12] You're saying it's more on the Shutter Island end of Scorsese than the Silence end of Scorsese.

[1:43:17] Yeah.

Chris Weitz

[1:43:17] I think he won an Oscar for it, so I think you must be wrong.

[1:43:21] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:21] I mean, but even then, like, you can win an Oscar for a movie that isn't...

[1:43:25] That has never happened.

[1:43:26] That's not super subtle.

[1:43:27] No.

[1:43:27] I mean, come on.

[1:43:29] But that was a movie that, like, I really enjoyed that movie.

[1:43:33] I like it, honestly, more than Infernal Affairs, the movie it's based on, which I felt like kind of didn't use the premise as well as it could have.

[1:43:40] But when people were like, ugh, that rat at the end, I was like, you mean this amazing part at the end where a rat comes out?

[1:43:46] Like, I don't understand.

[1:43:46] What's the problem?

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:47] Yeah, that's like watching Better Off Dead and being like, ugh, that burger part.

[1:43:51] And I'm like, what's wrong with you?

Chris Weitz

[1:43:54] But what if you added a sort of a hee-hee-hee from the rat?

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:59] At the end.

[1:43:59] I mean, I would love that.

[1:44:00] Honestly, if the rat looked at the camera and winked, I would have loved it.

[1:44:03] Like, why not?

[1:44:04] Sure, go ahead.

[1:44:06] If it was...

[1:44:06] And it's also the fact that it's not happening during the scene when they're making love to comfortably numb.

[1:44:12] Like, it's not happening during one of the emotional scenes.

[1:44:14] It's happening during the very end when the movie's over and it's like, gotcha!

[1:44:18] Wink!

Chris Weitz

[1:44:18] You know, like...

[1:44:19] If there were some cheese at the edge of frame, also that would explain it.

[1:44:23] And it wouldn't seem so arbitrary.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:25] If the reason he came in...

[1:44:26] While he...

[1:44:27] Right before he was murdered, the rat, he was wiping cheese on the banister of his...

[1:44:32] Of what?

[1:44:32] The terrace on his apartment that he bought with his ill-gotten games.

[1:44:37] And it's because...

[1:44:38] Why?

[1:44:38] I don't know.

[1:44:39] He's a crazy bad guy.

[1:44:39] He likes to wipe cheese on things.

[1:44:41] But it's a little bit like a...

[1:44:43] I don't know.

[1:44:44] I could see...

[1:44:45] I could see those people...

Chris Weitz

[1:44:46] It would be cheddar, you know, because then it's this...

[1:44:48] This symbolism is double.

[1:44:49] Because cheddar is, you know, is money, right?

[1:44:52] He's got so much cheddar.

[1:44:53] He's got a fridge just full of cheddar cheese.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:56] He's like, what am I going to do with this?

[1:44:57] I got so much cheddar.

[1:44:58] I mean, it sounds like heaven.

[1:45:00] I'm going to say something that might sound a little snobby.

[1:45:03] And I genuinely don't mean it that way.

[1:45:05] But I think that people who watch a lot of movies might have a higher tolerance for silliness

[1:45:10] in their movies just because, like, if you only...

[1:45:15] If you're not, like, watching a lot of stories, maybe you expect them to be a little more straightforward.

[1:45:21] Like, this was brought...

[1:45:22] Like, the reason I was talking about this was someone tweeted at me.

[1:45:24] And I don't want to call anyone out.

[1:45:26] Like, someone tweeted at me.

[1:45:27] And eventually they were like, oh, okay, this was a joke.

[1:45:29] They watched the rest of the movie.

[1:45:30] But they were like, oh, I'm watching the Child's Play remake.

[1:45:33] And I can't get past the part at the beginning where the sweatshop worker, like, switches the violence inhibitor switch to off.

[1:45:42] And I'm like, that's clearly a joke.

[1:45:44] Like, why would the doll have a violence switch?

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:47] Dan, there is no room for jokes in a movie about a killer doll.

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:51] I mean, the real problem with that is that they're stealing that joke from The Simpsons.

[1:45:55] Sure, sure.

[1:45:56] And he goes, oh, here's the problem.

[1:45:57] Your doll was switched to evil.

[1:45:58] Yeah.

[1:45:59] But I think there's two kinds of film snobs.

[1:46:01] There's the ones that go around.

[1:46:04] It's like there's a.

Stuart Wellington

[1:46:05] They do a podcast and shit on movies.

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:07] Yes.

[1:46:08] And then there are the kinds that actually make movies.

[1:46:09] And then the kinds that don't even make the podcast.

[1:46:11] And there's the people they hurt.

[1:46:12] Yes.

[1:46:13] Yes.

[1:46:13] Yeah.

[1:46:14] And there's victims.

[1:46:14] Yeah.

[1:46:15] That the kind who get.

[1:46:17] It's like you go through these stages of film snob development where you start out and you're like, movies.

[1:46:22] Wow, I love them.

[1:46:23] And then you get to a point where you're super cynical and you shit on everything.

[1:46:25] And you're like, uh, why did Indy even have to go after the arc?

[1:46:29] Because it kills all those Nazis at the end without him.

[1:46:32] And then you go a little farther and you become like in Roger Ebert's review for Air Force One where he's like, Air Force One came out the same weekend as this Gamera movie.

[1:46:41] And honestly, at this point in my life, I'd rather watch the Gamera movie.

[1:46:44] And like, I feel like that's where we are more is like, okay, I've seen it all.

[1:46:49] So now I'm ready to see the silly stuff.

[1:46:51] Yeah.

[1:46:51] But a lot of people, they're not all the way through that journey.

[1:46:53] And then the next stage, I guess, is when you're so tired of movies that you're just like, books are really where it's at.

[1:46:58] I'm reading Mill on the Floss.

[1:47:00] I don't watch movies.

Dan McCoy

[1:47:02] I mean, it's a great book.

[1:47:03] I don't know why.

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:05] I don't need to read a movie about how they make, need a book about how they make floss.

[1:47:09] Come on.

[1:47:10] Boring.

Dan McCoy

[1:47:12] So guys, that was great.

[1:47:13] Let's go to the next segment.

[1:47:15] And the last one where we recommend a movie that you should watch instead of this one.

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:22] So we can prove we're like real full-on movie snobs, right?

Dan McCoy

[1:47:26] No, just to prove that we're not just full of bitter bile.

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:32] Because my recommendation is L'Age d'Or.

[1:47:35] A lot of people would say Un Chandelier, but that's kind of a little done at this point.

Dan McCoy

[1:47:40] So I'd like to recommend Easter Parade, which I watched on Easter.

[1:47:46] It's one of Audrey's all-time favorite movies.

[1:47:50] And I had TiVo'd it, according to my TiVo, one full year ago, last Easter.

[1:47:57] And we never got around to watch it.

[1:47:58] I have some movies that have been on my TiVo for years.

[1:48:00] I'll get around to them eventually.

[1:48:03] But it was so much fun.

[1:48:06] It's got Fred Astaire in a role that was originally supposed to be done by Gene Kelly, but he injured himself right before the movie started.

[1:48:14] And you can see how it's kind of more a Gene Kelly role than a Fred Astaire role, but he's great in it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:19] He keeps going up to people and going, it's me, Gene Kelly, from Singing in the Rain.

Dan McCoy

[1:48:23] And it also has Judy Garland.

[1:48:25] And I realized that I actually hadn't seen Judy Garland in stuff that much before.

[1:48:30] I'd seen Wizard of Oz, obviously.

[1:48:32] And I'd seen A Star is Born.

[1:48:35] But this was the first time where I'd really seen a movie where she's allowed to be the funny one.

[1:48:41] And she's really funny.

[1:48:43] I mean, it's no surprise.

[1:48:46] I'm discovering that Judy Garland is a star suddenly.

[1:48:50] But she was really fun.

[1:48:53] And it's a movie that starts out like it's going to be My Fair Lady, but for dancing.

[1:48:59] Fred Astaire's like, I could take any chorus girl and make her my partner.

[1:49:03] And then that kind of just gets discarded.

[1:49:05] And anytime it seems like there's going to be a conflict, it resolves really quickly.

[1:49:10] Which, honestly, at this point in the world, why not?

[1:49:13] Why not have a movie that has barely any conflict and it's a bunch of singing and dancing and pretty Easter hats?

[1:49:21] And so Easter Parade is my recommendation.

[1:49:25] Cool.

Stuart Wellington

[1:49:26] I'm going to recommend a movie called Support the Girls.

[1:49:30] It is like a small, kind of almost like everyday slice of life comedy about basically focusing on a single day

[1:49:38] with a manager and the staff of a, like a Hooters style bar and restaurant.

[1:49:45] And the kind of everyday problems they have with their life and with work.

[1:49:50] And it's really great.

[1:49:52] It stars Regina Hall, who's great.

[1:49:56] And it has a, basically a star making turn from this actress Shana McHale,

[1:50:01] which I don't think I've seen her in anything.

[1:50:03] And her IMDb profile doesn't list much.

[1:50:05] But she's incredible.

[1:50:07] It's also got like Dylan Galula from, what was that, Kimmy Schmidt?

Dan McCoy

[1:50:13] Well, it has a star of a Chris White's film in it.

[1:50:16] Hayley Richardson.

[1:50:17] Fantastic.

Stuart Wellington

[1:50:19] Yeah.

[1:50:20] So I liked it a lot.

[1:50:21] Check it out.

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:24] I'm going to recommend a movie that ties into some of the stuff we talked about earlier.

[1:50:28] It's called Rambo Last Blood.

[1:50:29] And it's the story of this guy who...

[1:50:33] This is the story of a guy.

[1:50:36] This is a story.

[1:50:38] How about how?

[1:50:38] My life got changed right upside down.

[1:50:40] I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, tell you how I killed a bunch of Mexican guys on my farm.

[1:50:45] Well, I was an old man dealing with my trauma.

[1:50:48] Oh, God.

[1:50:49] Worked with my niece and dad abandoned her mama.

[1:50:52] And then we decided to...

[1:50:53] So that guy wrote in, the nameless fan wrote in asking about movies that they should see and stuff like that.

[1:51:05] And it made me think about a movie I watched recently that I should have watched a long time ago that I didn't.

[1:51:08] And especially after Chris mentioned the screwball comedies of the, you know, 30s and 40s, which was, I finally watched What's Up, Doc?

[1:51:16] The Peter Bogdanovich movie that is a 70s kind of version of one of those movies.

[1:51:21] And I'd put it up for...

[1:51:22] I'll put it off for a long time because I kept hearing it referred to as being kind of like bringing up baby.

[1:51:28] And bringing up baby is maybe my least favorite of the screwballs.

[1:51:31] It's one that does not connect with me at all.

[1:51:33] I was worried that you would disagree with me on that and that I would feel bad.

[1:51:37] She's super annoying.

[1:51:39] Yeah, it's super annoying, right?

[1:51:40] And when there are like great...

[1:51:42] I mean, like, have you seen The Mad Miss Manton with Barbara Stanwyck and Henry Fonda?

[1:51:46] No.

[1:51:46] I think it's so much better than Ring Up Baby and it's a similar type of movie.

[1:51:49] But I finally watched What's Up, Doc?

[1:51:52] Because I wanted to watch a movie that was silly because the world is not silly right now.

[1:51:57] And I was like, oh, this is a much funnier movie than I thought it was going to be.

[1:52:00] And I really enjoyed it.

[1:52:00] And I was especially excited to see the actor Liam Dunn, who is maybe best known for being in Blazing Saddles.

[1:52:08] And he comes in at the end as a judge.

[1:52:10] And I think he's such a funny actor.

[1:52:11] And it was just great to see him.

[1:52:13] It's got such an amazing cast in it.

[1:52:15] And so I'm glad I finally watched it.

[1:52:18] So What's Up, Doc?

[1:52:19] The movie that doesn't really earn the title, What's Up, Doc?

[1:52:23] It's kind of a pointless title.

[1:52:26] But otherwise, I enjoyed it a lot.

Dan McCoy

[1:52:27] I've really been meaning to watch that one, too.

[1:52:30] Maybe you will finally push me to.

[1:52:33] Because I, you know, like the early classic Peter Bogdanovich movies, like Last Picture Show and Targets and Paper Moon, I all really loved.

[1:52:44] So I want to check that out.

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:46] For summaries, I think I've let my feelings about bringing up Baby and my feelings about Peter Bogdanovich get in the way of watching this movie.

[1:52:55] And it reminded me of a story I think I've told on this Flophouse before when I went to see a screening of Targets that Peter Bogdanovich was introducing.

[1:53:03] And he started taking audience questions, which he was not supposed to take, and ended up talking for about 45 minutes.

[1:53:09] And you could see the programmer from Film Forum getting more and more frustrated that it was still going on.

[1:53:13] And they had to cancel the second screening of Targets because it ran so far over.

[1:53:18] But anyway, I'd recommend it.

[1:53:20] Chris, do you have a movie you'd like to recommend?

Chris Weitz

[1:53:22] I do.

[1:53:23] I'm catching up on my Japanese classics.

[1:53:26] And there's a film called Harakiri Kobayashi Movie.

[1:53:33] And actually, it kind of reflects, interestingly, on Rambo.

[1:53:38] Because it is about revenge, but it's told in a very kind of innovative way.

[1:53:42] It uses flashbacks extremely well.

[1:53:46] And it's really sort of an indictment of samurai culture.

[1:53:51] In the guise of a samurai film, it's incredibly well shot, well told.

[1:54:00] Tatsuya Nakadai is great.

[1:54:03] He's certainly less well known than Joshir Mifune, but he's amazing in the film.

[1:54:11] And it was kind of my first dip into Kobayashi's oeuvre.

[1:54:16] And I highly, highly recommend it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:54:22] Kobayashi's got a lot of great movies, like Samurai Rebellion's really good.

[1:54:26] And Kwaidan is really good.

[1:54:28] And Tatsuya Nakadai, I'm glad you brought him up.

[1:54:30] I haven't watched him in a movie in a long time, but he's in so many good movies.

[1:54:34] And I think I've seen a fraction of them.

Chris Weitz

[1:54:36] He is so much more scary than Rambo, with so much less, I think.

[1:54:42] Like, this guy has dead eyes when he wants to, that is.

[1:54:45] He can actually also play kind of quite warm, but mostly he's this kind of stone killer looking guy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:54:52] Have you seen Kill?

Chris Weitz

[1:54:53] No, I have not seen Kill.

Elliott Kalan

[1:54:55] Oh, he's really funny in it.

[1:54:57] That's when he's playing like, almost like a version of, before it existed, of John Belushi's samurai character in that.

[1:55:06] Like, it's his take on a Yojimbo-type scruffy samurai.

[1:55:09] And, like, it's a really funny movie.

[1:55:11] But, uh, that's really, yeah, Harry Carey's a really good movie.

[1:55:15] I haven't watched a Japanese movie in a while.

[1:55:16] Guys, why am I not watching any of the Japanese movies on my DVR?

[1:55:19] Yeah, you should be watching them, Elliot.

[1:55:21] I started watching, you know what, the last one I saw was, there was, what was his name?

[1:55:25] I forgot his name.

[1:55:26] There's a Japanese actor in the 60s who wanted to look different to set himself apart, so he had cheek implants put in.

[1:55:31] And he's got, like, these weird chipmunk cheeks in all of his movies.

[1:55:34] And I watched that one, and for some reason I haven't watched it since.

[1:55:38] That put you off the whole thing?

[1:55:40] That was like, this guy's cheeks.

[1:55:41] I don't know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:55:41] The thing is, I have a big stack of movies that I feel like I should be watching.

[1:55:45] But then I just go over to YouTube and watch the final fight scene from Yes, Madam with Michelle Yeoh and Cynthia Rothrock again.

[1:55:53] And I'm like, this is all the movie I need.

Elliott Kalan

[1:55:56] Well, I've got to add that to my list.

[1:55:58] Well, this is for the listener earlier, if they're still paying attention.

[1:56:02] Here's a piece of advice based on what Stuart say.

[1:56:04] There's going to be movies that you, like, get ready to watch because you feel like you should watch them, but you're not really excited about watching them.

[1:56:11] But you should push through to watch them.

[1:56:13] Because there have been movies, they're like, every time I read a classic book or I watch a classic movie, I'll be like putting it off for a while.

[1:56:21] And then I'll watch it or read it.

[1:56:21] I'll be like, oh, this is why it's a classic.

[1:56:24] Because it's like, because it's really good.

[1:56:25] Like, Chimes at Midnight is a movie I put off for years because I was like, I don't want to slog through, like, a Shakespeare movie.

[1:56:31] But then it was really good or like.

Stuart Wellington

[1:56:34] And if you don't like it, it at least gives you something to think about and you can think about why you don't like it.

[1:56:39] Like, not liking something is sometimes just as good as liking something.

Dan McCoy

[1:56:43] And also, it may be a different experience than you think it's going to be.

[1:56:47] Like, I had that recently with the Florida Project, which everyone said was so great.

[1:56:51] But I was like, ah, like, it's going to be so sad.

[1:56:54] It's going to be so sad.

[1:56:55] I don't want to watch something sad.

[1:56:56] And it is very sad.

[1:56:57] But it's also full of, like, humor and life and just people that you recognize.

[1:57:03] Like Willem Dafoe.

[1:57:05] I mean, like.

[1:57:07] Well, that's the magic of Willem Dafoe's performance in that because he's the, like, the one name in it.

[1:57:12] And you're like, you'd think that you're just like, okay, I'm going to think of Willem Dafoe the whole time.

[1:57:16] But he is such a natural presence.

[1:57:19] Like, he's a guy that you probably have met a million times in your life.

[1:57:24] Like, he just, he feels like that.

[1:57:26] He's so humane.

[1:57:27] And it's great.

Elliott Kalan

[1:57:28] It's kind of the opposite of, I'm, right now, I, last night I watched Up to the Middle of the Lighthouse.

[1:57:33] And Willem Dafoe in that is very much not a man I've ever met before.

[1:57:37] But I must say, my wife and I are watching it.

[1:57:41] And we're like, hmm, this movie about these two guys stuck on a rock in the middle of nowhere who can do nothing but spend time around each other.

[1:57:47] And are working all day and exhausted the end of the night.

[1:57:49] And now they're arguing about whether they like the food that the other one cooked.

[1:57:53] This is getting a little too close.

[1:57:54] Okay.

[1:57:55] I'll keep that in mind.

[1:57:56] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:57:57] Well, guys, this has gone on a long time.

[1:57:59] I see Stuart looking around the room.

Stuart Wellington

[1:58:03] Well, no, my upstairs neighbors are clearly, like, my upstairs neighbors are clearly vacuuming.

[1:58:09] And I'm like, ugh, is it too loud?

[1:58:13] Just throw my track in the trash.

[1:58:15] It's fine.

[1:58:16] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:58:16] Yeah, yeah.

[1:58:19] Guys, thank you so much.

Elliott Kalan

[1:58:20] It'll be like when they take Garfield out of Garfield Comics.

[1:58:23] And they'll just be us reacting to things you've done.

[1:58:25] Uh-huh.

[1:58:25] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:58:26] You're normal.

[1:58:27] Dan is John.

[1:58:29] And Chris can be Odie.

[1:58:30] Excellent.

[1:58:31] I love it.

[1:58:32] How do you feel about that, Chris?

[1:58:33] He's me.

Dan McCoy

[1:58:34] I see myself in him.

Stuart Wellington

[1:58:35] I mean, people love Odie.

Dan McCoy

[1:58:39] Let's let Chris get back to his family.

[1:58:42] Also, Ellie get back to his family.

[1:58:44] Let Stuart get back to Charlene.

[1:58:45] Let's all, you know, just leave this podcast purgatory.

Elliott Kalan

[1:58:51] Because, Dan, if there's one thing I'm getting not enough of right now, it's time.

Chris Weitz

[1:58:54] I've got to work on some traps.

[1:58:56] Some tunnels.

[1:58:57] Because I'm expecting some guests to kill.

[1:58:59] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:59:02] Everyone should go check out other podcasts on MaximumFun.org.

[1:59:06] But mostly, just take care of yourself during this time.

[1:59:09] Thank you so much to Chris for being such a sweet person.

[1:59:14] Guys, this is a dream.

[1:59:17] This is a dream.

[1:59:18] Finally to appear.

[1:59:20] And I guess that's it.

[1:59:21] For the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:59:23] I've been Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[1:59:25] I've been Elliot Kalin.

[1:59:26] I'd also like to mention, edited by Jordan Cowling, because we always forget to mention her and I feel bad about it.

[1:59:31] And our special guest was...

[1:59:32] Chris Weitz.

[1:59:34] See you next time.

[1:59:36] Bye.

[1:59:40] Is no one else seeing this?

Chris Weitz

[1:59:42] No.

[1:59:43] I'm not.

[1:59:43] I saw an emoji for two seconds.

[1:59:45] It was a crying emoji.

[1:59:47] And then it went away.

Dan McCoy

[1:59:48] You are in a crying emoji cycle right now.

[1:59:51] And your whole window is tinted blue.

[1:59:55] Your blue ba-da-dee, ba-da-da.

[1:59:59] Ba-da-da-dee, da-da-da.

[2:00:00] Right now.

S5

[2:00:02] Maximumfun.org

[2:00:06] Comedy and culture.

[2:00:08] Artist owned.

[2:00:09] Audience supported.

Ep# 311: Rambo: Last Blood

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