Ep. #312 - Sonic the Hedgehog

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Sonic the Hedgehog.

[0:04] The movie that finally answers the question.

[0:08] So if you had to make a movie about Sonic the Hedgehog,

[0:11] like, what would you do?

[0:12] Like, how would you do that?

[0:14] What would you even start to make a movie about Sonic the Hedgehog?

[0:18] This movie answers the question.

Stuart Wellington

[0:30] Sonic the Hedgehog

Elliott Kalan

[1:00] with a six-year-old and an almost two-year-old.

[1:02] It's amazing.

[1:04] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:05] Everyone's cracking up.

[1:07] And also, as a guest this week,

[1:11] we have Jamel Bowie.

[1:14] He is a columnist for the New York Times.

[1:17] You may have seen him on television talking about serious stuff.

[1:21] And now he's here to talk about Sonic the Hedgehog.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24] If I could say very briefly, Jamel, before you start talking,

[1:27] I just want to say I've been an admirer of your writing for a very long time.

[1:31] I'm a subscriber to your newsletter,

[1:33] which if anyone is interested in trenchant thoughts on politics and history

[1:37] and recipes and also photographs of old buildings,

[1:40] then this is the newsletter for you.

[1:42] But you're someone who's,

[1:45] you're a piercing mind who has a lot to say about the issues of the day.

[1:48] So that's why we needed you to come on for our Sonic the Hedgehog episode.

Jamelle Bouie

[1:53] I'm ready to bring 10 years of writing experience and deep thought to the question of a blue animated hedgehog.

Stuart Wellington

[2:03] Wait, he was animated?

[2:05] Oh boy, Stuart.

[2:07] First things first.

[2:09] Don't shatter the illusion.

Dan McCoy

[2:10] He wasn't real.

[2:11] I think you have summed up the entire personality of Sonic as depicted in this movie.

[2:16] He is blue.

Elliott Kalan

[2:18] But I believe what you mean to say, Dan, to extrapolate further from that statement,

[2:23] is that he's blue, dabu-dee-dabu-dye, dabu-dee-dabu-dye, dabu-dee-dabu-dye.

Dan McCoy

[2:30] Oh, disclaimer.

[2:31] If Stuart seems like he's bringing a different energy to the podcast,

[2:35] it's because he's standing up.

Stuart Wellington

[2:37] Oh yeah, it's also because my quarantine mustache is threatening to strangle me at this point.

[2:45] Now, Dan, normally on this show we watch a bad movie and talk about it,

[2:49] but would you say that this movie fits that category?

[2:52] I mean, it is the second highest grossing movie of 2020.

[2:58] Jesus.

Elliott Kalan

[2:59] That is the year that the movie theaters all shut down.

[3:01] Yeah.

[3:02] Because Sonic!

Jamelle Bouie

[3:04] Even still, even still, that sounds insane to me.

[3:08] Who were the throngs of people who went out there who were screaming,

[3:12] give us Sonic, give us Sonic?

Elliott Kalan

[3:14] Well, it's strange because those same people were screaming,

[3:16] give us Sonic, but also screaming,

[3:18] don't give us Sonic with real human teeth and animal eyes.

[3:21] We don't want that.

Dan McCoy

[3:22] I don't know.

[3:23] Based on the internet, I am pretty sure everyone wanted a Sonic movie,

[3:27] although they wanted one where he was pregnant.

[3:30] Possibly by Tails?

Elliott Kalan

[3:33] Who knows?

[3:33] That would have been the mystery of the movie.

[3:35] Was it Tails or Knuckles that did the deed?

[3:37] But then also, of course, Tails would die,

[3:39] and Sonic would grieve him,

[3:41] because that seems to be the other main fan art,

[3:42] is Sonic characters grieving each other.

[3:44] Yeah, and also sometimes they're Christians.

[3:48] Yeah, sometimes.

[3:49] Yeah, well, that was in the movie.

[3:50] You just had to read between the lines.

[3:52] Now, Jamel, do you have much of a history with Sonic the Hedgehog

[3:55] or the Sega Genesis gaming platform?

Jamelle Bouie

[3:57] I do.

[3:59] Very formal question.

[4:04] So when I was a kid, we weren't much of a Nintendo house.

[4:08] We were definitely a Sega house.

[4:09] So my dad had bought a Sega Master System,

[4:13] and I got a Sega Genesis,

[4:15] and I guess I would have been like second or third grade or something.

[4:19] So we always had a Sega Genesis around all the Sonic games.

[4:23] I've played Sonic 2, Sonic 3, and Sonic & Knuckles a million times.

[4:28] I watched the cartoon a bunch.

[4:30] Whoa.

[4:30] There were two different Sonic cartoons back in the mid-90s.

[4:34] One was sort of like a fantasy cartoon, and the other was like Looney Tunes.

Elliott Kalan

[4:38] But it was Jaleel White for both of them, right?

[4:40] As the voice of Sonic?

[4:41] Yeah, I think that's right.

[4:42] There was a brief period in the 90s where if your original role that you were famous for was not on anymore,

[4:48] you would become a Saturday morning cartoon star.

[4:50] So like Mark Hamill was the Joker, and Jaleel White was Sonic the Hedgehog,

[4:54] and Mr. Belvedere was doing the voice of, I think, Raphael of the Ninja Turtles.

[4:59] Really?

[5:00] Yeah, and then we had, who else was there?

[5:03] Like John Wayne was doing the voice of Denver, The Last Dinosaur.

[5:07] Yep.

[5:07] And let's see.

[5:09] John Wayne Gacy, of course, was doing other cartoon voices.

[5:14] Anyway, it's interesting you say that because I grew up in a Nintendo household,

[5:18] and so to me Sonic always seemed weird and strange, and I couldn't get it.

[5:22] And I was like, the premise of A Fast Hedgehog makes no sense to me.

[5:25] It should be about an Italian plumber who jumps on turtles.

Jamelle Bouie

[5:28] I feel like this is like the rough equivalent of like growing up in a Protestant household

[5:32] and like knowing Catholics existed.

[5:35] Like I just don't get it.

[5:37] I don't understand what it's all about.

Dan McCoy

[5:39] I mean, I grew up in a Nintendo household too,

[5:43] although I stopped at the original NES system.

[5:46] I don't think I ever even got a Super NES,

[5:48] but I was like, I was much more a Nintendo guy,

[5:52] but I was jealous of mostly Sonic when it came to Genesis.

[5:56] I also, you know, enjoyed a little Strider, a little Golden Axe.

Stuart Wellington

[6:01] What about fucking Altered Beast, dude, where you get super jacked?

[6:05] Yeah, sure.

Elliott Kalan

[6:06] Well, that happens with Mario too.

[6:07] When you eat a mushroom, suddenly you're like a monster, you know?

[6:09] You're so much bigger than you were before.

Stuart Wellington

[6:11] I think that is an unfair comparison,

[6:13] although that Kenuki suit is kind of like an Altered Beast.

Elliott Kalan

[6:17] Yeah, yeah.

[6:17] He is becoming a kind of merger of man and animal,

[6:20] a manimal, if you will, or marry animal.

[6:24] But yeah, for some reason, when I was a kid,

[6:27] my cousins had Sega Genesis,

[6:28] and the only game they really had was Echo the Dolphin.

[6:31] Oh, no.

[6:32] So that was not as fun.

[6:33] That was a very exploration-based game.

Jamelle Bouie

[6:36] Yeah.

[6:37] Listen, Nintendo may have had Mario and Zelda and Final Fantasy even,

[6:41] but could you play a game like Streets of Rage

[6:44] where you could get freshly cooked turkeys out of trash cans?

[6:47] You couldn't.

[6:48] What a fantasy.

Dan McCoy

[6:51] I just remembered that I won a prize in Electronic Gaming Monthly.

[6:59] What?

[7:00] Because I was supposed to name a Streets of Rage move,

[7:04] and my move was the lead pipe cinch

[7:08] when you hit someone with a lead pipe.

[7:10] And I believe I got a controller for that.

[7:13] Whoa.

Elliott Kalan

[7:14] You were vastly over-rewarded

[7:16] for the amount of work you put in for that one.

Jamelle Bouie

[7:18] That entire sentence is unintelligible to anyone younger than 32.

[7:23] I'm the youngest person for whom that sentence made sense.

Elliott Kalan

[7:28] That was the first time I was paid for my writing, Elliot.

[7:31] Oh, that's pretty fair.

[7:32] And that was when you knew,

[7:33] of course, this is what I am.

[7:35] I'm a writer.

[7:36] And that's where your novel, Lead Pipe Cinch,

[7:38] which is kind of like a Bukowski,

[7:40] Thomas Thompson-type thing came out of.

Stuart Wellington

[7:44] Yeah, where you're always chasing that turkey leg.

Elliott Kalan

[7:47] So, Dan, your family stopped with the original Sega?

[7:51] The original Nintendo.

[7:52] I think so.

[7:53] Original Nintendo.

[7:53] I'm sorry.

[7:54] So, your dad was like 8-bit?

[7:56] That's the only amount of bits that this household will hold.

Dan McCoy

[7:59] You know, I may be misremembering.

[8:02] It's hard to say.

[8:03] Like, it's all...

[8:04] My childhood is just a warm fuzz at this point.

Elliott Kalan

[8:09] All right.

[8:09] Well, that was...

[8:10] I mean, that was a surprisingly steeped in possible trauma response.

[8:14] So, let's move on from that.

Dan McCoy

[8:16] No, my memory is just terrible.

[8:18] That's all.

Stuart Wellington

[8:19] I'm like thinking...

[8:20] While I was watching this movie,

[8:21] I was thinking back to, like,

[8:23] playing the Sega Genesis in my parents' basement

[8:25] and, like, the smell of the carpet down there

[8:29] and the, like, weird sadness that the game gives me.

[8:32] And I'm like, was that...

[8:33] Was I just sad?

[8:34] Or is the game sad?

[8:36] Like, is it sad for a little blue guy to get hurt

[8:39] and all his rings to shoot out of him?

[8:41] Like...

Dan McCoy

[8:41] I think that's just nostalgia sadness, Stuart.

[8:45] Oh, right.

[8:45] I think that is you...

[8:47] Despite the fact that childhood is a place filled with pain and misery,

[8:52] you still desire to go back there in some corner of your heart.

Stuart Wellington

[8:55] Mm-hmm.

[8:56] Okay.

[8:57] Well, cool.

[8:57] Fun.

[8:57] I'll try and do that.

[8:59] Well, I think here's the way...

[9:00] Fear of magic.

Elliott Kalan

[9:01] Here's the way...

[9:02] I mean, perhaps if you could trick your childhood self

[9:05] into touching a magic skull at the same time you do

[9:08] and your head, your brain would go into your child self's body,

[9:11] you just have to redo this every few years

[9:13] because as you grow up, you'd stop being a child.

[9:16] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[9:18] Oh, man.

[9:19] Okay.

[9:19] So, I think we should start this movie

[9:23] because it opens with a special logo.

[9:26] That's right.

[9:26] Instead of stars around that logo, it's gold rings.

[9:30] That's how you know it's made by true fans.

Elliott Kalan

[9:32] That's because Paramount was like,

[9:34] we've had this logo for just about 100 years.

[9:37] When should we change it?

[9:39] When there's a hedgehog that needs some rings.

[9:41] This will show the audience we get it.

Dan McCoy

[9:44] Now, Elliot, are you under the misapprehension

[9:46] that the Paramount logo is now changed forever?

[9:49] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[9:50] I think now every Paramount movie is going to have rings instead of stars

[9:53] and it's just like, I hope it was worth it for Sonic.

[9:56] It's like when you get a tattoo of someone's name

[9:58] and then you break up with them a couple weeks later

[9:59] and you're like, oh boy.

[10:01] Okay, I can only date people named Charisse now.

Stuart Wellington

[10:05] Dan, have you been to the movie theater

[10:09] and seen a new Paramount movie since Sonic?

Elliott Kalan

[10:12] You know what?

[10:13] You got me, Stuart.

[10:14] So we seem to be in a sort of Schrodinger's Paramount logo situation

[10:18] where until we see one of these movies,

[10:20] we have to assume the logo has both rings and stars.

[10:24] And I guess only time will tell.

[10:27] Jamal, your thoughts?

Jamelle Bouie

[10:28] The other thing is that since Sonic was a big hit,

[10:31] Paramount now demands, the producers there, executives,

[10:34] want a hedgehog in every single Paramount film.

Elliott Kalan

[10:37] So when they eventually reboot the Dark Universe,

[10:40] there's going to be Sonic the Hedgehog.

[10:43] I mean, Knuckles would fit right in

[10:46] because that dude is pretty scary.

Dan McCoy

[10:48] I wouldn't complain if it was a real hedgehog in every movie

[10:51] because those things are cute.

Stuart Wellington

[10:53] Or if it was, you were saying how much you wanted

[10:57] Ron Jeremy to be playing the lead role in this movie.

[10:59] Oh, God.

[11:01] I mean, he's kind of hedgehog white, I guess.

[11:04] Yeah, yeah, sure.

Dan McCoy

[11:05] Can we stop, as a culture,

[11:07] putting Ron Jeremy in ironic cameos in comedies?

Elliott Kalan

[11:11] Dan, how much is that really happening these days?

[11:14] I mean, there was definitely a high point in the 90s

[11:17] of edgy comedies.

[11:19] Put that message in a bottle and send it back

[11:21] through a time window because I don't think it's happening

[11:23] too much anymore.

[11:25] All right.

Stuart Wellington

[11:26] Okay, so we open Meteor Res.

[11:30] Sonic is running around the streets of San Francisco,

[11:33] running away from Dr. Wily,

[11:35] and we have our...

[11:36] Dr. Robotnik.

[11:37] Dr. Wily.

[11:38] Dr. Wily is from the Mega Man games, I believe.

[11:40] I knew I was going to fuck that up at some point.

[11:41] Yeah, it's Dr. Eggman.

[11:43] That's the Mega Man guy, right?

[11:44] Dr. Eggman Robotnik.

[11:45] He's running away.

Dan McCoy

[11:46] I want to take a moment just to celebrate the fact

[11:49] that this is the first time that Stuart has said something

[11:51] that is open in Meteor Res when it actually has opened in Meteor Res.

[11:54] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[11:55] Usually it's opened very much in pre-res,

[11:58] but now this is...

Stuart Wellington

[12:00] So we have our, like,

[12:03] I bet you're wondering how we got here,

[12:05] freeze frame,

[12:06] and we're about to do a flashback,

[12:08] but while Sonic is talking shit about Dr. Robotnik,

[12:11] we also learn that Sonic is familiar with the American Civil War,

[12:15] which was kind of chilling for me at that point.

[12:17] Like, this is a movie for children.

Dan McCoy

[12:20] Now, this will be a reoccurring theme

[12:22] because I am baffled by, like,

[12:25] the degree to which Sonic does or does not understand

[12:28] Earth history and culture.

Elliott Kalan

[12:31] I mean, you mean just because he doesn't seem to know

[12:34] that humans have names,

[12:35] but he does know about the Olive Garden franchise slogan?

[12:38] Stuff like that.

[12:39] Or...

[12:40] Yeah.

Jamelle Bouie

[12:40] It was very strange to hear Sonic go on a long digression

[12:43] about the campaign at Vicksburg.

[12:45] I'm just going to throw that one out.

Elliott Kalan

[12:47] Well, especially because he was so pro-Confederate,

[12:50] which is a strange choice nowadays, for sure.

[12:52] Yeah.

[12:53] That he was like, that Sonic was like,

[12:55] all those brave men fighting for their ideals,

[12:57] you know, you don't have to agree with everything they said.

[12:58] I was like, Sonic, this is intense.

[13:00] Yeah, and he was saying something about

Stuart Wellington

[13:02] how his taped-up sneakers is in solidarity

[13:04] with those poor soldiers who didn't have shoes.

[13:08] Oh, weird.

[13:09] Especially for a major, major picture.

Elliott Kalan

[13:11] Two hours of apologia for the lost cause,

[13:14] and then we finally get to the end of the flashback, right?

[13:18] Yeah, so we...

[13:18] Well, no, the beginning of the flashback.

Stuart Wellington

[13:19] Yeah, yeah, so we go right into a flashback.

[13:21] We're on like a forest planet.

[13:23] Sonic's a little kid.

[13:24] We get a little bit of exposition.

[13:26] We're introduced to Sonic's mother, Longclaw,

[13:29] who is some kind of...

[13:31] Is not a sword, but in fact an owl.

[13:35] And now this is a character who I believe was invented for...

Elliott Kalan

[13:38] I believe this character was invented for the movie.

[13:41] Did she ever appear in any Sonic games or associated media?

Jamelle Bouie

[13:45] As far as I know, no, I mean, that was the point at which I was like,

[13:48] I have no idea what's happening in this movie.

[13:50] Like, I feel like I have a decent sense of Sonic lore in my head

[13:53] just from like being a kid, and I was like,

[13:55] I don't recognize any of this now, so I don't know what's...

Elliott Kalan

[13:58] Did you ever read any of the Sonic comic books

[14:00] where like Knuckles became one with the universe,

[14:02] and there was all this strange stuff that was going on?

[14:05] I did not.

[14:07] Okay, well, much like the Archie Ninja Turtles comics,

[14:12] which spun off into their own bizarre continuity,

[14:15] the Sonic ones did too.

[14:17] But yeah, it's...

[14:17] This was...

[14:18] So Sonic right away, he's like,

[14:20] I grew up on this planet, and I always had special powers.

[14:22] And it was like, wait, are you not going to explain

[14:24] whether you come from like a race of hedgehogs?

[14:26] Like, or is that...

[14:27] Like, are you not going to explain how you got powers at all?

[14:30] He's just burst into existence, right, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[14:32] Yeah, this is...

[14:33] Well, this is a...

[14:34] All right, look.

[14:36] I threw up my hands immediately during this movie

[14:39] because of this prologue, because it is like...

Elliott Kalan

[14:41] Wait, were you eating your hands?

Dan McCoy

[14:43] Yeah.

[14:43] And you threw them up?

[14:45] I threw them up in disgust

[14:46] because it is the laziest like hero stuff

[14:50] that's just thrown away at the beginning of the movie.

[14:52] Like, Sonic has powers, but he thinks he's one of a kind,

[14:56] which that seems like a weird choice right off the bat.

[14:58] I would have assumed that like this alien hedgehog

[15:00] would just come from a race of fast alien hedgehogs,

[15:03] and he like gets stranded on Earth.

[15:05] He has this mother protector figure, this owl,

[15:10] who like, I assume is not his biological mother,

[15:13] although I don't know what...

[15:14] Do not assume that, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[15:15] That's unfair.

Dan McCoy

[15:16] I do not know Sonic biology, and he's being...

Elliott Kalan

[15:20] Well, we know that Sonic has no genitals,

[15:23] so it stands to reason that his species

[15:26] does not have genitals either.

[15:27] So maybe the owl is his biological mother,

[15:30] and it's a race where...

[15:31] It's like if a horse and a donkey mate,

[15:33] and they have a mule, and the mule is sterile.

[15:35] If an owl and a crocodile mate,

[15:37] you end up with a Sonic,

[15:38] and the Sonic isn't capable of procreating.

[15:40] That's just my theory.

[15:41] I'm just throwing it out there.

[15:42] Guys, I'm publishing it in the New England Journal of Medicine.

[15:44] We'll see if it gets picked up.

[15:46] Okay, but the point is...

[15:47] It's gotta be peer-reviewed.

Dan McCoy

[15:48] Sonic is being chased by these, like,

[15:50] sort of, like, uh...

[15:52] Like, tiki-styled, maybe, like,

[15:55] native people with bows and arrows, and...

[15:59] You gotta look a little closer, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[16:01] Those are echidnas.

Dan McCoy

[16:02] Okay, well, anyway, they're...

Elliott Kalan

[16:04] So you know, one of them is knuckles.

Dan McCoy

[16:06] Yeah, so they're being chased, though,

[16:08] and the owl is like,

[16:11] hey, use these magic rings to escape to another planet,

[16:14] like, planet, where you'll be safe, like,

[16:16] and if you need to use them again,

[16:18] here's a bag full of magic rings,

[16:20] and she's like,

[16:20] no time to explain, basically,

[16:22] and, like, pushes him into, like, this earth.

[16:25] Yeah, a portal.

[16:26] And we were watching this.

[16:27] Audrey was like,

[16:28] I don't understand in these movies why, like,

[16:31] if you know that this danger is coming,

[16:33] like, run a few, like, fire drills for it ahead of time

[16:37] and explain the things that need to be explained beforehand

[16:40] rather than being, like, mysterious

[16:42] and pushing Sonic through a portal.

Stuart Wellington

[16:44] And the thing is, Dan,

[16:45] we don't actually know that Longclaw dies.

[16:47] Like, maybe Longclaw just needs some alone time.

[16:50] Yeah, fair.

[16:51] Maybe Longclaw isn't cut out to be a parent.

[16:54] You don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[16:55] Hey, look, someone could be a great parent

[16:56] and still need alone time.

Dan McCoy

[16:58] But this is, like, so much, like,

[17:00] like, fantasy,

[17:03] sort of almost chosen one bullshit

[17:06] that's thrown away so quickly

[17:07] at the beginning of the movie

[17:08] and not really important to anything else that happens.

Elliott Kalan

[17:12] Okay, I'm going to make two points, Dan.

[17:14] One a support and one a rebuttal.

[17:15] First, rebuttal.

[17:17] As we see from the movie,

[17:18] Sonic has very little attention span skills,

[17:20] so it's very possible Longclaw tried to explain

[17:22] these things to him,

[17:23] and he just did not listen.

[17:24] That he was too busy making jokes about, like,

[17:27] about, like, professional football

[17:29] and Kenny Chesney and Heinz Ketchup

[17:31] and whatever other American things

[17:33] happened to come into his head.

[17:35] But two, also, in support of you,

[17:37] this is a very lazy movie.

[17:38] Yes.

[17:39] And the story is very paint-by-numbers.

[17:43] But, Stuart, you were going to disagree.

[17:45] I was just going to say that

Stuart Wellington

[17:46] the movie, like its protagonist,

[17:49] has got to go fast.

Jamelle Bouie

[17:52] I mean, I will say,

[17:54] very paint-by-numbers,

[17:55] all these things are true,

[17:56] but I did deeply appreciate

[17:57] that this movie was 90 minutes,

[17:59] or 100 minutes.

[18:00] It was, it was,

[18:01] I was,

[18:02] when I rented it on iTunes,

[18:03] I was like,

[18:04] I hope to God I'm not going to be here

[18:06] for two hours,

[18:06] and I wasn't,

[18:07] and that's a blessing.

[18:08] That's true.

[18:09] So you're saying you don't want

Elliott Kalan

[18:10] the two-and-a-half-hour Snyder cut

[18:11] of Sonic the Hedgehog?

[18:12] No, I didn't.

Jamelle Bouie

[18:14] Which, again, weirdly,

[18:16] an hour of that

[18:17] is Sonic going on

[18:18] about the army of Northern Virginia.

Elliott Kalan

[18:20] Yeah.

[18:20] Very strange.

[18:22] Very strange.

[18:23] Yeah, you know,

Stuart Wellington

[18:23] Sonic can't stay on topic often,

[18:26] but when it comes to that sort of thing,

[18:27] he's on point.

Elliott Kalan

[18:29] Now, I want to see,

[18:30] I want to see now

[18:31] the Snyder cut of this

[18:31] where Sonic is fighting

[18:32] Dr. Robotnik,

[18:33] and one of them says Longclaw,

[18:34] and Dr. Robotnik's like,

[18:35] my mother was named Longclaw, too.

[18:39] I guess we're best buds now.

Stuart Wellington

[18:43] Okay, so,

[18:44] and the basic thing

[18:45] is that we learn that

[18:46] Longclaw explains to Sonic

[18:48] that people are going to try

[18:50] and steal his power,

[18:51] that his power,

[18:52] that Sonic's power

[18:53] is magical.

[18:54] So,

[18:55] we then,

[18:56] of course,

[18:56] cut to 10 years later.

[18:58] We're on Earth

[18:59] in a small town

[19:01] of Green Hills,

[19:03] Montana,

[19:03] and we're introduced

[19:05] to Thomas,

[19:06] the donut-loving police officer,

[19:08] and Maddie,

[19:10] his supportive veterinarian wife.

Elliott Kalan

[19:12] Now,

[19:12] Thomas' last name

[19:13] is Wachowski,

[19:14] which I assumed

[19:14] was a little tip of the hat

[19:15] to the filmmakers

[19:17] behind Speed Racer.

[19:18] What do you guys think?

[19:19] Coincidence or no?

[19:20] Oh, probably.

[19:23] Now,

[19:24] Okay,

[19:24] thanks.

[19:25] That was fair.

Stuart Wellington

[19:27] Now,

[19:27] now,

[19:28] Sonic is living in the woods

[19:29] like a hermit

[19:30] near this small town.

[19:31] He has come up with nicknames

[19:33] for Thomas and Maddie.

[19:35] Thomas,

[19:35] of course,

[19:35] is the donut lord

[19:37] because,

[19:38] you know what shape

[19:38] a donut is?

[19:39] A ring.

[19:40] Exactly.

[19:41] That's movie making.

[19:43] Now,

[19:43] now,

[19:44] Sonic lives in a hovel.

[19:46] He's lonely.

[19:48] And,

[19:49] well,

[19:49] I don't know,

[19:50] like,

[19:50] you know,

[19:50] he's sad,

[19:51] but he has invented,

[19:53] like,

[19:53] a rich history

[19:54] and backstory

[19:55] for all the people

[19:56] in this town.

[19:57] Once again,

[19:57] he doesn't really

[19:58] understand them,

[19:59] but he understands

[20:00] quite a bit

[20:00] about American history

[20:01] and pop culture.

Elliott Kalan

[20:03] And pop culture.

[20:03] He,

[20:04] so you mentioned

[20:05] that this cop

[20:06] he calls Donut Lord

[20:07] is played by James Marsden,

[20:09] who is,

[20:10] once again,

[20:11] criminally underused.

[20:13] Yeah.

[20:13] I find James Marsden

[20:14] to be,

[20:14] like,

[20:15] such a,

[20:15] such a likable performer.

[20:17] And he gets,

[20:18] he doesn't,

[20:18] he doesn't get to do

[20:19] too much in this movie

[20:20] other than be like,

[20:21] Sonic,

[20:22] stop.

[20:22] Or like,

[20:23] hey,

[20:23] come on,

[20:23] Sonic,

[20:24] cut it out.

Dan McCoy

[20:24] I mean,

[20:25] in so much

[20:26] as this movie

[20:26] works at all,

[20:27] I think it works

[20:28] because the performers

[20:29] are all very likable,

[20:31] but they,

[20:32] yeah,

[20:32] to a,

[20:33] to a man

[20:33] other than Jim Carrey,

[20:35] they're given

[20:35] almost nothing to do.

[20:37] Like,

[20:37] he does not have

[20:38] a character to play here.

[20:39] He is just sort of pleasant.

Stuart Wellington

[20:41] Now,

[20:41] the action really

[20:42] gets kickstarted

[20:43] when Thomas

[20:44] gets offered

[20:45] a,

[20:45] a beat cop job

[20:47] on the mean streets

[20:48] of San Francisco.

[20:50] And Maddie,

[20:51] his wife,

[20:51] immediately starts using

[20:52] Zillow

[20:53] and talks about it.

[20:54] In one of many advertisements.

[20:56] So they decide

[20:57] that they're going

[20:58] to move to San Francisco.

[20:59] Sonic plays baseball

[21:00] by himself,

[21:01] which I feel like

[21:02] is an interesting commentary

[21:03] on quarantine.

[21:04] What do you guys think?

[21:07] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[21:07] certainly Sonic

[21:09] is very lonely.

[21:10] The thing that drives

[21:10] Sonic through this

[21:11] is his loneliness

[21:12] and his need to reach out.

[21:13] And he lives in a cave

[21:14] and he watches a lot of TV.

[21:16] So,

[21:16] yeah,

[21:17] I guess he is,

[21:17] this is very prescient

[21:19] in its quarantining.

[21:20] Not since The Lighthouse

[21:21] have I seen a movie

[21:22] that so captured

[21:23] what it felt like

[21:24] to be living in quarantine,

[21:25] you know?

Stuart Wellington

[21:26] Now,

[21:27] this,

[21:27] and the solo baseball scene

[21:28] of course

[21:29] makes Sonic sad

[21:30] and his loneliness

[21:32] causes him

[21:32] to do a big blue

[21:34] electric explosion

[21:35] which shorts out

[21:36] the power grid

[21:37] and draws

[21:37] the government's attention.

Elliott Kalan

[21:39] Now,

[21:40] shall we mention,

[21:40] now Sonic

[21:41] up to this point,

[21:41] now he's been living

[21:42] for 10 years

[21:43] in just watching

[21:44] other people

[21:44] and not,

[21:45] not having any friends.

[21:47] You would imagine

[21:47] he's like kind of

[21:48] a dour,

[21:49] quiet type,

[21:50] like real kind of

[21:51] bitter and gruff.

[21:52] Doesn't say very much,

[21:53] right?

[21:53] Is that pretty accurate?

Dan McCoy

[21:55] No,

[21:56] he is a

[21:56] jolly hedgehog.

[22:01] He's full of

[22:01] vim and vinegar.

[22:03] He's played by,

[22:04] the voice performance

[22:05] is Ben Schwartz

[22:06] and he does,

[22:07] you know,

[22:08] a fine job.

[22:09] there are some

[22:11] funny bits

[22:12] that I assume

[22:12] are just Ben Schwartz

[22:13] improvising

[22:14] because everything else

[22:15] is the blandest

[22:16] nonsense.

Elliott Kalan

[22:17] they throw so many,

[22:19] he is constantly

[22:20] doing like,

[22:22] like,

[22:23] schtick.

[22:24] Schtick,

[22:24] yeah,

[22:25] japes and jabs

[22:25] and constant running

[22:26] gags and jokes

[22:27] and it's like,

[22:29] they,

[22:29] I can imagine

[22:31] being an eight-year-old

[22:32] and watching this

[22:32] and being like,

[22:33] this is hilarious

[22:34] because it's,

[22:35] because that's how I felt

[22:36] when I would watch

[22:36] like the Ninja Turtles

[22:37] and they'd be constantly

[22:38] making jokes

[22:39] but watching as an adult

[22:39] I was like,

[22:40] shut up,

[22:41] Sonic.

[22:41] Sonic,

[22:42] shut your mouth,

[22:43] come on.

Jamelle Bouie

[22:44] I mean,

[22:45] sort of on that point,

[22:46] this movie feels like

[22:47] a real throwback

[22:48] to kind of like 90s,

[22:50] that kind of like

[22:50] late 80s,

[22:51] 90s based off of

[22:52] some external

[22:53] video game property movie.

[22:55] Like,

[22:55] it has some

[22:56] bizarre mythology

[22:58] with no connection

[22:59] to the actual game.

[23:00] Like,

[23:00] it involves

[23:01] the character

[23:02] from the game

[23:02] going into

[23:03] a whole new world.

[23:04] Like,

[23:05] it feels like

[23:05] someone sat down

[23:06] with a script generator

[23:08] from like

[23:09] 1991

[23:10] and was like,

[23:11] can we plug this in

[23:12] and see what comes out?

[23:14] And this is what

[23:14] would basically come out.

Stuart Wellington

[23:15] And there's like,

[23:16] and there's like

[23:17] a road trip element,

[23:18] which I feel like

[23:19] is also a very

[23:20] 90s property movie.

Dan McCoy

[23:22] Well,

[23:22] I put a review

[23:24] on Letterboxd

[23:25] and I think

[23:25] the key line

[23:26] to what you're saying,

[23:27] Jamel,

[23:27] is like,

[23:28] I was like,

[23:28] okay,

[23:29] imagine a Sonic movie

[23:30] in your head.

[23:31] That's what this movie is.

[23:33] Exactly.

[23:34] They didn't enhance it

[23:35] in any way.

[23:36] They didn't add

[23:37] any plot

[23:37] or characterization

[23:38] beyond what

[23:39] your vague idea

[23:40] of what a Sonic movie

[23:40] might be.

[23:41] And that's

[23:42] this film.

Elliott Kalan

[23:43] The only thing

[23:43] that's missing

[23:44] to be a movie

[23:45] that could have

[23:45] come out in 1990

[23:46] is like an evil

[23:47] land developer

[23:48] who wants to get

[23:48] to Sonic's home world

[23:49] so he can build

[23:50] condos there.

[23:51] Like that.

[23:52] Yeah.

[23:52] Or like someone

[23:54] who's like,

[23:55] I'm going to merchandise

[23:56] Sonic.

[23:57] Come on,

[23:58] Sonic.

[23:58] Sonic dolls,

[23:59] Sonic games,

[24:00] Sonic yo-yos.

[24:01] And Sonic's like,

[24:02] no way, man.

[24:02] I'm one of kinds.

Stuart Wellington

[24:04] One of the interesting

[24:04] things about the whole

[24:05] like evil land developer

[24:06] trope

[24:07] is that I feel

[24:08] like it just gave

[24:09] like, you know,

[24:10] there's a lot of

[24:11] young people coming up

[24:12] in the late 80s,

[24:14] early 90s

[24:14] who saw those movies

[24:15] and I feel like

[24:16] it gave them the idea

[24:17] because it's not like

[24:19] there's fewer evil

[24:20] land developers

[24:20] in the world now.

Elliott Kalan

[24:22] No, no.

[24:22] There's much more

[24:22] of them

[24:23] and they are more

[24:23] powerful than ever

[24:24] before.

[24:24] So I guess

[24:25] maybe we were

[24:26] looking at those

[24:27] movies wrong

[24:27] and those were

[24:28] actually the heroes

[24:29] the whole time.

Dan McCoy

[24:30] I do also think

[24:31] that this might be

[24:32] the point to bring

[24:33] up that the screenwriters

[24:34] of this movie,

[24:35] there's two screenwriters,

[24:36] they appear to be

[24:37] a screenwriting team

[24:38] because their IMDb pages

[24:40] are exactly the same

[24:41] with writing credits.

Elliott Kalan

[24:43] So either a team

[24:44] or the same person

[24:45] getting two checks

[24:46] and they're like,

[24:47] oh, Jeremy,

[24:48] I'll go get him

[24:49] and they leave the room

[24:50] and put on a mustache

[24:51] and they walk back in.

[24:52] Oh, Frank,

[24:53] I'll go get him

[24:54] and they go back out

[24:55] and take the mustache off.

[24:55] playing baseball.

Dan McCoy

[24:57] Exactly.

[24:57] But these screenwriters

[24:59] have a long career

[25:02] in things like

[25:03] they wrote some

[25:04] Hot Wheels TV movies

[25:05] and they're the writers

[25:07] of National Lampoon's

[25:09] Dorm Days

[25:09] and Dorm Days 2.

[25:12] And this is...

[25:13] Wait, Dan,

[25:13] is Days spelled

[25:14] D-A-Z-E?

[25:15] It is, in fact,

[25:16] spelled D-A-Z-E.

Elliott Kalan

[25:17] Oh, thank goodness.

[25:18] I was worried

[25:19] they left some joke money

[25:19] on the table.

Dan McCoy

[25:21] And this is their first

[25:23] big blockbuster movie.

[25:26] They got this huge

[25:28] plum screenwriting job

[25:30] from I do not know what.

[25:33] Maybe they're good

[25:34] in the room.

[25:36] And I do not want

[25:37] to intimate

[25:38] that people can't come up

[25:39] through exploitation movies,

[25:42] which is basically

[25:42] what the National Lampoon

[25:43] movies are the equivalent to.

[25:47] Because, you know,

[25:47] a lot of great,

[25:48] talented filmmakers

[25:49] came up through that.

[25:50] But it is strange

[25:51] that they seem to have

[25:52] jumped directly

[25:53] from nonsense movies

[25:55] to the hugest blockbuster

[25:58] of this past year.

[25:59] I would disagree.

Elliott Kalan

[26:01] I think, one,

[26:02] like you're saying,

[26:02] you can't really judge

[26:03] a writer just by

[26:04] their past credits.

[26:05] Oh, no, I know.

[26:06] But also, to jump

[26:07] from National Lampoon

[26:08] Dorm Days 2,

[26:09] the Sonic the Hedgehog movie

[26:10] is not the quantum leap

[26:11] in career making

[26:12] that you seem to think

[26:13] it is, Dan.

[26:14] I'm not talking about

[26:14] quality, Elliot.

Dan McCoy

[26:15] Elliot,

[26:16] you are

[26:16] misconstruing

[26:17] what I'm saying.

[26:18] I'm not saying

[26:19] that it's a better movie.

[26:20] I would rather watch

[26:21] National Lampoon's

[26:22] Dorm Days

[26:23] than Sonic probably.

[26:25] No, no, but what

[26:25] I'm saying that...

[26:26] No, I'm saying

[26:26] what you described to me

Elliott Kalan

[26:27] is like a pretty

[26:27] common career progression.

[26:29] It's not like

[26:30] they were like

[26:30] Sonic the Hedgehog.

[26:31] We need only

[26:32] the top screenwriters.

[26:33] Get me David Koepp.

[26:34] Get me William Goldman.

[26:35] That is totally wrong, Elliot.

Dan McCoy

[26:37] They put millions,

[26:39] like hundreds,

[26:40] like put a hundred million

[26:41] dollars in this movie.

[26:42] They're not like

[26:42] get me the writers

[26:44] of National Lampoon

[26:45] Dorm Days.

Elliott Kalan

[26:45] No, because I'll tell you

[26:46] how they did it.

[26:47] This is how they did it, Dan.

[26:48] They had a couple

[26:49] different groups

[26:50] of screenwriters

[26:50] come in and pitch

[26:51] their takes

[26:52] on the character.

[26:53] Then they made them

[26:53] come back and pitch it

[26:54] again more fleshed out

[26:56] and they narrowed it down

[26:57] and their agents

[26:58] got them this meeting

[26:59] and then,

[27:00] or they knew

[27:00] one of the executives

[27:01] and then eventually

[27:02] they wrote the script

[27:03] and the network,

[27:04] the studio said,

[27:05] mmm,

[27:06] can you make it blander?

[27:07] And then they rewrote it

[27:08] to make it blander

[27:08] and the studio said,

[27:09] mmm,

[27:10] can you put Zillow in there?

[27:11] I understand the pitching

Dan McCoy

[27:13] and development process.

[27:14] I'm saying this is a surprising leap

[27:16] that they have made

[27:17] in their careers

[27:18] and congratulations.

[27:20] Congratulations

[27:20] after laboring

[27:21] in schlock.

[27:23] The United States

Jamelle Bouie

[27:23] made big budgets schlock.

[27:26] My understanding

[27:27] is that this movie,

[27:29] or like a Sonic movie

[27:30] has been in development

[27:31] for a while

[27:32] and this is,

[27:33] they're like,

[27:33] there have been multiple

[27:34] groups of screenwriters

[27:35] who have taken a swing

[27:36] at this

[27:37] and so this is,

[27:38] this,

[27:39] these guys are the ones

[27:41] who I guess cracked it.

[27:43] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[27:43] And unfortunately

[27:44] we'll never get to see

[27:45] that Sonic movie

[27:46] that Richard LaGravigny

[27:47] has worked on

[27:47] 20 years ago,

[27:48] you know?

Stuart Wellington

[27:49] Yeah, yeah.

[27:49] I'm assuming what happened

Elliott Kalan

[27:51] is,

[27:51] the John Patrick Shanley

[27:53] version.

Dan McCoy

[27:55] The one that the Coen brothers

[27:57] doctored after a little bit,

Elliott Kalan

[27:58] you know,

[27:58] and that Terry Fisher

[27:59] did some punch up work on.

Stuart Wellington

[28:01] Based on a Terry C.

[28:02] Let's play.

[28:02] George Miller's take,

Jamelle Bouie

[28:02] which involved actually

[28:03] just like a human man

[28:05] painted blue.

[28:07] Oh man,

[28:08] that would be amazing.

Stuart Wellington

[28:09] Yeah,

[28:09] I'm assuming these screenwriters

[28:10] were rejected

[28:11] for their original script

[28:12] for Portrait of a Lady on Fire,

[28:14] but they were better suited

[28:15] for this.

Elliott Kalan

[28:16] Well,

[28:16] the problem was

[28:17] they went to the pitching session

[28:19] for Portrait of a Lady on Fire

[28:20] and they were like,

[28:21] okay,

[28:22] spin us a tale.

[28:23] And they're like,

[28:23] okay,

[28:24] so this lady,

[28:25] right,

[28:25] she's on this fantasy world

[28:26] and her mom's an owl

[28:28] and she has the ability

[28:28] to burst into flame.

[28:30] we don't,

[28:31] did you read,

[28:32] did you take a look

[28:32] at our look book

[28:33] about what the film

[28:34] is going to be like?

[28:35] Yeah,

[28:36] yeah,

[28:36] we threw that away.

[28:37] Okay,

[28:38] well,

[28:38] and hurry this up

[28:39] because we got a meeting

[28:39] later for that

[28:40] Schindler's List reboot.

[28:44] Reboot.

[28:45] Oh yeah,

[28:46] yeah.

[28:47] Yeah,

[28:48] they're hoping to turn it

[28:48] into a whole cinematic universe.

[28:51] Yeah,

[28:51] the SCU.

[28:52] Yeah,

[28:52] the SCU.

[28:55] And there's,

[28:56] oh man,

[28:57] it's just like,

[28:57] they're trying to,

[28:58] look,

[28:59] there's some studio

[29:00] that bought up a bunch

[29:01] of the rights

[29:01] to a bunch of different

[29:02] adult dramas,

[29:03] so they're like,

[29:04] finally,

[29:05] Schindler,

[29:05] Carlito from Carlito's Way,

[29:08] Don Corleone,

[29:09] and let's say,

[29:11] let's say,

[29:13] the sisters from

[29:15] A League of Their Own,

[29:15] they're finally in,

[29:16] they're finally in one movie

[29:17] together.

[29:20] So,

[29:21] so now,

[29:22] so now we finally have,

Stuart Wellington

[29:24] we finally have a villain.

[29:26] The US government

[29:26] has to bring in

[29:27] their perfect agent.

[29:28] That's right,

[29:30] Jim Carrey playing

[29:31] Eggman Robotnik.

[29:34] And he's kind of

[29:34] a loose cannon.

[29:35] They don't want to

[29:35] bring him in,

[29:36] but they have to

[29:37] because he always

[29:37] gets the job done.

[29:38] And he's like

[29:39] a super scientist guy.

[29:41] He's got a power glove on.

[29:42] He's got an army

[29:43] of egg-shaped drones.

[29:45] He drives around

[29:46] in a bunch of trucks

[29:47] that are all covered,

[29:48] covered in plates.

Dan McCoy

[29:50] Yeah,

[29:50] and this is one of the

[29:51] many,

[29:52] like,

[29:52] very hand-wavy moments

[29:53] in the script

[29:55] where they're like,

[29:56] okay,

[29:56] we need to get

[29:56] to the next thing

[29:57] where,

[29:58] like,

[29:58] everyone in the government

[29:59] seems to know

[30:00] that this guy's crazy,

[30:01] but they're like,

Elliott Kalan

[30:02] yeah,

[30:02] but we need a mini wave.

[30:04] It's like,

[30:04] okay,

[30:06] sure.

[30:07] When,

[30:07] if anything,

[30:08] it would have been better,

[30:09] they could have had

[30:09] a real political moment here

[30:11] where they're talking

[30:12] to the president

[30:12] and it's clearly Trump,

[30:13] but it's done

[30:14] from behind his head

[30:15] like George Steinbrenner

[30:15] on Seinfeld.

[30:16] And he's just like,

[30:18] Robotnik.

[30:19] no,

[30:19] he's a crazy person.

[30:20] Like,

[30:20] why would,

[30:21] no,

[30:21] he tweeted at me,

[30:22] Robotnik,

[30:22] get him out there.

[30:24] Okay,

[30:24] you said so,

[30:25] Commander-in-Chief.

[30:26] But instead,

[30:27] you're right,

[30:28] Dan,

[30:28] they're kind of like,

[30:29] let's get Robotnik.

[30:30] What?

[30:30] He's nuts.

[30:31] yeah,

[30:32] but have you not seen

[30:33] the original property?

Dan McCoy

[30:35] Everyone in the room

[30:36] is basically like,

[30:37] that's a terrible idea.

Elliott Kalan

[30:38] Let's do it.

[30:39] I mean,

[30:39] I'm glad that the movie,

[30:41] it does do,

[30:42] it does a couple things right,

[30:44] which is one,

[30:45] they cast Jim Carrey

[30:46] in this role

[30:46] and there was something

[30:47] very like chicken soup

[30:48] for the soul comforting

[30:49] to me about seeing

[30:50] Jim Carrey do the kind

[30:51] of role that he did

[30:52] when I was a kid.

[30:53] I totally agree.

[30:54] But they weren't like,

[30:55] get Dr. Robert Nicholas.

[30:57] Oh,

[30:58] he's so crazy.

[30:58] He loves robots.

[30:59] They call him Robotnik

[31:00] behind his back.

[31:01] That they just are out and out

[31:02] like,

[31:02] his name's Robotnik.

[31:03] Let's just do this.

[31:04] Whatever.

[31:04] Who cares?

Stuart Wellington

[31:06] And he,

[31:07] so he shows up

[31:08] to Green Hills

[31:09] and he takes over

[31:10] the investigation.

[31:12] Of course,

[31:12] he has to supplant

[31:13] the local military leader

[31:14] who was played

[31:15] by Neil McDonough,

[31:17] hired,

[31:17] of course,

[31:18] for his blue,

[31:19] blue eyes.

[31:20] His husky dog eyes.

Dan McCoy

[31:22] And by that,

[31:23] I mean the dog husky,

[31:24] not that his eyes are fat

[31:25] and his dog eyes.

Elliott Kalan

[31:27] Big old fat dog eyes.

[31:29] Just like the biggest eyes

[31:30] from the fattest dog.

Dan McCoy

[31:32] He is thrown away

[31:33] in one scene,

[31:34] Stuart.

[31:34] I was like,

[31:34] okay,

[31:35] Neil McDonough

[31:35] is going to come back

[31:36] at some point,

[31:37] but it's like,

[31:37] no,

[31:37] he's just there to be

[31:39] like,

[31:39] humiliated by funny Jim Carrey

[31:41] and then he disappears.

[31:43] Yeah.

[31:43] He's like,

Stuart Wellington

[31:43] he was in Street Fighter,

[31:45] The Legend of Chun-Li

[31:46] for God's sakes.

[31:47] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[31:48] Give him some respect.

[31:49] He played dumb,

[31:50] dumb Dugan.

[31:51] Come on,

[31:51] everybody.

Jamelle Bouie

[31:54] He was a villain

[31:54] on an entire season

[31:56] of Arrow.

Elliott Kalan

[31:57] Yeah.

[31:58] And Justified.

[32:00] Which character

[32:01] did he play in Arrow?

[32:03] Was it Damien Dar?

[32:06] Yeah.

[32:06] Yep.

[32:07] Yep.

[32:07] Yeah.

[32:08] And did he play

[32:09] the same character

[32:09] in Justified?

[32:10] Because I want

[32:10] Justified and Arrow

[32:11] to be in the same universe.

[32:12] He's not that different

Stuart Wellington

[32:14] in Justified,

[32:15] to be honest with you.

[32:16] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[32:17] Sounds pretty good.

[32:19] And so,

[32:20] Dr. Robotnik

[32:21] is on the case

[32:22] and where does Sonic go?

[32:24] Sonic knows

[32:24] he's going to be in trouble

[32:25] so where does he go

[32:26] for help?

Stuart Wellington

[32:26] So he runs back

[32:27] to his cave,

[32:28] he packs up all his stuff

[32:29] or most of his stuff

[32:30] and he heads

[32:31] to the only house

[32:32] that he's familiar with.

[32:33] That's right.

[32:34] The house of Tom

[32:35] and Maddie.

[32:37] Tom is already

[32:38] preparing to go

[32:38] to San Francisco.

[32:39] Maddie has already

[32:40] gone ahead

[32:41] to find them

[32:42] an apartment,

[32:43] I guess.

[32:44] Tom is so excited.

Elliott Kalan

[32:45] She's staying

[32:45] with her sister

[32:46] who does not like Tom.

[32:48] Despite the fact

[32:49] that he is,

[32:50] by all accounts,

[32:50] a very supportive

[32:51] and loving spouse,

[32:53] he took three jobs

[32:54] to help her get

[32:54] through veterinary school

[32:55] but for some reason,

[32:56] because the movie

[32:57] wants jokes,

[32:58] her sister does not like him.

Dan McCoy

[33:00] Yeah,

[33:00] this is one of my

[33:01] least favorite

[33:01] stock characters

[33:02] in the movie.

[33:03] The sister

[33:04] that hates

[33:05] the lead

[33:06] husband character

[33:08] for no reason

[33:09] that anyone can see.

Jamelle Bouie

[33:11] Yeah,

[33:12] I mean,

[33:12] if you wanted

[33:12] to make the movie

[33:13] just like a little bit edgy,

[33:14] she could hate him

[33:15] because he's a cop.

Elliott Kalan

[33:16] Yeah,

[33:17] I mean,

[33:17] that's kind of

[33:19] what I felt like

[33:19] they were hinting at

[33:20] but it never came out.

Jamelle Bouie

[33:22] Like,

[33:23] this is a black lady

[33:24] in San Francisco.

[33:25] She hates him

[33:26] because he's a cop.

Elliott Kalan

[33:29] And she knows

[33:30] inevitably

[33:31] there's going to be

[33:31] a time when

[33:32] she's going to have

[33:32] some kind of interaction

[33:33] with him

[33:34] in her home city

[33:35] and their family

[33:35] and it's going to be

[33:36] really bad

[33:37] for all of them.

Stuart Wellington

[33:38] She knows his mask

[33:39] is going to slip

[33:40] at some point.

Jamelle Bouie

[33:41] There should be

[33:42] a scene

[33:43] where she just

[33:43] whispers

[33:44] ACAB.

Elliott Kalan

[33:49] And he's wearing

[33:51] a t-shirt

[33:52] that says

[33:52] San Francisco

[33:53] on it

[33:53] because he just

[33:53] cannot wait.

[33:54] He's trying

[33:54] to become the city.

Stuart Wellington

[33:56] Which I kind of love.

[33:57] Like,

[33:57] I love the idea

[33:58] of this dorky-ass dude

[33:59] who's like,

[34:00] I can't wait

[34:01] to move there.

[34:01] I'm going to buy

[34:02] the t-shirt

[34:02] in advance

[34:03] like those guys

[34:04] who bought

[34:04] the Darth Maul shirt

[34:05] before seeing

[34:06] Phantom Menace.

Elliott Kalan

[34:07] We saw him

[34:16] and we were like,

[34:17] this character's

[34:17] going to be so great

[34:18] and not at all offensive.

[34:20] And then we saw him

[34:21] and I was like,

[34:21] well,

[34:22] I did pay for the shirt.

[34:23] I guess I'll wear it.

[34:24] He is kind of like

[34:26] a more realistic

[34:28] anti-Semitic gonzo.

[34:30] So I guess that's okay.

[34:32] You're wearing the shoot

Jamelle Bouie

[34:33] around being like,

[34:34] look,

[34:34] I'm reclaiming Watto.

[34:35] I guess it was a tip-off

[34:37] when the Watto t-shirt

[34:38] had gold coins on it.

Elliott Kalan

[34:40] Yeah,

[34:40] it was the fact

[34:41] that he had gold coins

[34:42] and on the back

[34:42] it said,

[34:43] more blood please.

[34:44] It was like,

[34:45] this shirt.

[34:46] Oh,

[34:46] wow.

[34:47] Hey,

[34:47] I didn't make the shirt,

[34:48] Dan.

[34:49] I'm not the one

[34:49] who put those shirts out.

Stuart Wellington

[34:51] Yeah,

[34:51] so you got the shirt

[34:53] and you're like,

[34:53] well,

[34:54] I don't like the character

[34:54] that much.

[34:55] I guess it's going to be

[34:56] my gym shirt

[34:57] and then you just

[34:58] didn't go to the gym.

Elliott Kalan

[34:59] It was a very good excuse

[35:00] not to go to the gym

[35:01] because I was like,

[35:01] I can't wear this shirt

[35:02] at the gym.

[35:03] This is crazy.

[35:03] I don't have another gym shirt.

[35:05] Wait,

[35:05] I never realized this guy.

[35:06] So Watto,

[35:07] clearly anti-Semitic.

[35:08] What about Gonzo?

[35:09] He's got a similar nose,

[35:11] similar coloring.

[35:11] He also is kind of an outsider.

[35:14] He just doesn't fit in.

[35:15] And he has elaborate stunts

[35:17] that he always wants

[35:17] to pull off,

[35:18] which is a big Jewish stereotype

[35:19] that Jews always want

[35:20] to get shot out of cannons

[35:21] or ride unicycles

[35:22] across tight ropes

[35:23] and that Jews love chickens.

[35:25] I mean,

[35:25] we do,

Dan McCoy

[35:26] you know.

[35:27] Well,

[35:28] I mean,

[35:28] based on the sample size

[35:31] in this group,

[35:32] Jews do love chickens.

[35:34] But,

[35:34] I mean,

[35:36] Gonzo is one of the

[35:37] most lovable characters

[35:39] in the Muppet-iverse.

[35:41] Yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[35:41] that's true.

[35:42] It's just him and Scooter.

[35:43] Two tops.

[35:44] Oh,

Elliott Kalan

[35:44] God.

[35:45] Jesus Christ.

[35:45] Don't get me started on Scooter.

[35:47] And what's the one

[35:48] from the Muppets,

[35:49] the first of the Disney movies?

[35:51] Kevin?

[35:51] Wayne?

[35:52] What's his name?

[35:52] Walter.

Dan McCoy

[35:53] His name is Walter.

[35:54] He has no personality.

[35:55] And when you say Walter

[35:56] is more of a top

[35:57] or a bottom,

[35:57] Dan?

[36:01] Weirdly,

[36:01] he's a Switch.

[36:02] Anyway,

[36:02] let's go on.

Elliott Kalan

[36:03] He's a Nintendo Switch.

[36:05] All right,

[36:05] let's keep going.

[36:06] So,

[36:06] so,

[36:07] Sonic goes to

[36:08] James Marsden's house.

[36:10] That goes great,

[36:10] right?

Stuart Wellington

[36:11] Well,

[36:12] James Marsden surprises him

[36:13] before he can run away

[36:14] and he shoots him in the leg

[36:16] with a tranquilizer dart.

[36:17] That he had to shoot

[36:19] a raccoon,

[36:20] presumably.

[36:21] And then,

[36:22] that,

[36:22] of course,

[36:23] leads Sonic to accidentally

[36:24] opening up a portal

[36:25] to San Francisco

[36:26] because he reads it

[36:27] on his shirt

[36:27] and then he drops

[36:28] all of his rings

[36:29] in San Francisco

[36:30] like you do

[36:31] and he passes out.

Elliott Kalan

[36:32] A reference to

[36:33] Tony Bennett's

[36:34] classic song,

[36:36] I Left My Rings

Dan McCoy

[36:37] Now,

[36:38] Stuart is saying this

[36:39] as if it is a normal thing,

[36:41] so I feel like

[36:42] I need to clarify

[36:43] for the audience

[36:44] that,

[36:45] like,

[36:46] his magic rings,

[36:47] he needs to escape

[36:48] to another planet

[36:49] and have now gone

[36:49] through a portal

[36:50] to an entirely

[36:50] different city.

Elliott Kalan

[36:51] They're on the top

[36:52] of the Transamerica Pyramid

[36:53] and also,

[36:54] as within real life,

[36:55] when you are hit

[36:56] with a tranquilizer dart,

[36:57] you must read

[36:58] whatever words

[36:59] are in front of you

[37:00] at that moment.

Dan McCoy

[37:02] That's the only way

[37:03] your brain can regain

Elliott Kalan

[37:04] purchase on reality.

[37:05] So, like,

[37:06] for instance,

[37:06] if you're,

[37:07] so,

[37:08] if you're standing

[37:09] at a pool

[37:10] and you get hit

[37:12] you would say,

[37:13] uh,

[37:14] lifeguard on duty

[37:15] and then you'd,

[37:15] and then you'd pass out.

[37:16] Or if you were at,

[37:18] uh,

[37:18] like,

[37:19] a baseball stadium

[37:20] and you got shot

[37:22] you'd be like,

[37:23] uh,

[37:23] Budweiser,

[37:24] $12,

[37:24] and then you'd fall down.

[37:26] Very athletic choices

[37:27] coming out of Elliot.

Dan McCoy

[37:28] You're at,

[37:28] like,

[37:29] you're at

[37:30] the Jersey Shore

[37:31] and you're like,

[37:32] uh,

[37:32] female body inspector.

Elliott Kalan

[37:34] Yeah,

[37:35] again,

[37:35] you were at the Jersey Shore

[37:36] when I was a kid

[37:37] in,

[37:38] like,

[37:38] 1986.

[37:40] All right.

[37:41] The idea that Dan has,

Dan McCoy

[37:42] he's like,

[37:43] uh,

[37:43] mesh,

[37:44] mesh tank top.

Elliott Kalan

[37:45] That Dan is,

[37:46] like,

[37:46] an Encino man

[37:47] or blast from the past type

[37:48] or,

[37:48] but he just,

[37:49] or,

[37:49] like,

[37:50] a Rip Van Winkle

[37:50] but he was just

[37:51] in cryogenic freeze

[37:52] for,

[37:52] like,

[37:52] 20 years.

Dan McCoy

[37:53] I'll tell you something,

[37:54] uh,

[37:55] writing for a younger,

[37:58] hipper,

[37:58] uh,

[37:59] talk show host

[38:00] has been great for me

[38:01] lately,

[38:02] uh,

[38:02] with all of my

[38:03] 40-year-old man.

[38:05] References.

Elliott Kalan

[38:07] You're like,

[38:08] you're like,

[38:08] uh,

[38:09] Trevor,

[38:09] and then we'll have

[38:10] a quick joke to the scene

[38:11] in Just One of the Guys

[38:12] where,

[38:13] and he's like,

[38:13] I don't know what that is.

[38:14] And you're like,

[38:15] Trevor,

[38:15] we all watched it on HBO

[38:16] when we were kids.

[38:17] And he's like,

[38:18] I didn't do any of that.

Dan McCoy

[38:19] It had nudity

[38:20] and played during the day.

Jamelle Bouie

[38:23] Trevor,

[38:23] I have,

[38:23] I have a joke here

[38:24] about Zima

[38:25] and Crystal Pepsi.

Elliott Kalan

[38:27] The kids will get that,

[38:28] right?

[38:28] That'll,

[38:28] oh,

[38:29] we,

[38:29] the show,

[38:29] the show I'm working on

[38:30] right now,

[38:31] we have a Zima joke

[38:32] in one of the episodes

[38:32] and I'm like,

[38:33] I love it,

[38:33] great.

[38:34] But there was a younger

[38:35] writer in the room

[38:36] who was like,

[38:36] what,

[38:36] Zima?

[38:37] And I was like,

[38:37] I'll tell you about it later.

[38:40] There's a,

[38:41] the guy liked,

[38:42] had words that start with Z.

[38:43] Anyway,

[38:44] it aired around the same time

[38:45] as those Richard Lewis

[38:46] Boku ads

[38:46] and they were like,

[38:47] what?

[38:49] He had a hat.

[38:54] So,

[38:54] Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[38:55] Cool.

[38:55] So,

[38:56] uh,

[38:57] our team,

[38:58] Sonic and,

[38:59] uh,

[38:59] Sonic wakes up,

[39:00] he talks to Thomas,

[39:01] they immediately decide,

[39:02] okay,

[39:03] we gotta get,

[39:04] uh,

[39:04] we gotta save this guy.

[39:05] Robotnik's on his trail,

[39:07] uh,

[39:07] Robotnik shows up to Thomas' house

[39:09] and,

[39:10] uh,

[39:10] tricks his way into the home.

[39:12] Uh,

[39:13] they knock out Robotnik

[39:14] and go on the run together.

[39:16] Did I skip over anything?

Elliott Kalan

[39:18] No,

[39:18] all you,

[39:18] all you need to mention is

[39:19] Robotnik has an army

[39:20] of robot drones

[39:21] and also

[39:22] that he manages

[39:23] to get his hands on

[39:24] one of Sonic's quills.

[39:27] Oh,

[39:28] that's what that was.

[39:29] Yeah.

[39:29] What did you think it was?

[39:31] Like his,

[39:31] his,

[39:32] like,

[39:32] uh,

[39:33] his tail?

[39:34] I thought it was like a,

Stuart Wellington

[39:35] like a shard of his essence,

[39:36] like in the dark crystal.

[39:39] Or like,

Dan McCoy

[39:40] or it was like a crystal

[39:41] that he'd have to take down

[39:42] and,

[39:43] uh,

[39:43] build the Fortress of Solitude

[39:45] with,

[39:45] maybe?

[39:46] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[39:46] Or just like leave on his nightstand

[39:48] to heal the energy of the room.

Elliott Kalan

[39:50] Or like,

[39:50] if Sonic is,

[39:51] if Sonic is anything like my children,

[39:52] they'll just pick up

[39:53] broken pieces of plastic

[39:54] off the ground

[39:55] and carry it around all day

[39:56] and then leave it in their room

[39:58] and then I'll step on it

[39:58] and I'll be like,

[39:59] what is this?

[40:00] Why is this in my house?

Jamelle Bouie

[40:03] But no,

[40:03] it's one of Sonic's

[40:04] power quills.

[40:06] Uh,

[40:07] Stuart,

[40:07] you missed one thing,

[40:08] which is how,

[40:09] uh,

[40:09] Robotnik's demand

[40:11] to go into Marsden's house

[40:12] was a violation

[40:13] of posse comitatus.

Stuart Wellington

[40:17] Yeah.

[40:17] No,

[40:18] I,

[40:18] I had that written down

[40:19] in my notes

[40:19] and I just skimmed right over it.

[40:21] That's my mistake.

Elliott Kalan

[40:22] I mean,

[40:22] he has,

[40:22] how many,

[40:23] that's true,

[40:23] how many amendments

[40:24] is he breaking at that point?

[40:25] That's unreasonable search

[40:26] and seizure for sure.

[40:28] Well,

[40:29] it's not,

[40:29] it's not like he went to a judge

[40:30] and he said,

[40:30] I have reasonable suspicion

[40:32] that there is a,

[40:33] that there's a magic hedgehog

[40:34] in this man's house.

[40:35] I need a warrant

[40:36] to search the premises.

[40:37] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[40:38] And I love,

[40:39] I love their like subtle dance

[40:40] when they first meet each other

[40:42] because you're like,

[40:43] either of you could address

[40:44] the fact that you are like,

[40:46] you're either a police officer

[40:47] or working for the government.

[40:48] You don't have to hide

[40:49] that information.

[40:51] But they're like,

[40:52] nope,

[40:53] I got to tease this situation out.

[40:55] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[40:56] I love that.

[40:56] Jim Carrey is like,

[40:57] I'm here to read the meter

[40:58] and he's like wearing

[40:59] a long black trench coat.

[41:00] He has black leather gloves

[41:02] on his hands.

[41:03] It's like,

[41:03] what crazy world are you from

[41:04] where people dress like Dracula

[41:06] to read the electricity meter?

[41:07] Like,

[41:07] come on.

Stuart Wellington

[41:08] Cool.

[41:09] So they,

[41:10] they're on the run.

[41:13] They reluctantly decide

[41:15] to team up.

[41:15] At first they have this moment

[41:17] where you're like,

[41:17] oh shit,

[41:18] they're already breaking up

[41:19] with each other.

[41:19] But no,

[41:20] you know,

[41:20] they pretty quickly get over that.

[41:22] Sonic runs into the ocean

[41:23] and runs back.

[41:24] What's up?

Dan McCoy

[41:25] Yeah.

[41:25] I don't want to get,

[41:26] I don't,

[41:26] do not want to gloss over this moment

[41:27] because this is one of my actual

[41:29] major problems with this movie

[41:32] where like James Marsden's like,

[41:34] hey,

[41:34] I saved your life.

[41:35] That's all I'm going to do for you.

[41:37] Like,

[41:37] I don't want to go on the run

[41:38] with you or anything.

[41:39] Yeah.

[41:40] And Sonic's like,

[41:41] oh,

[41:41] okay.

[41:42] All right.

[41:42] I guess I'll go to San Francisco

[41:44] on my own.

[41:45] Like,

[41:45] I guess I'll find it somehow.

[41:47] And like,

[41:48] and James Marsden's like,

[41:49] just go west.

[41:50] You'll,

[41:50] you'll hit it.

[41:50] And he like,

[41:51] Sonic zooms off,

[41:53] comes back immediately

[41:54] with a fish on his head

[41:55] because he ran into the ocean

[41:57] and he's like,

[41:58] see,

[41:58] I can't do it on my own.

[41:59] I'm like,

[42:00] fucking give him a map.

[42:02] Like,

[42:02] this movie does not adequately explain

[42:05] like,

[42:06] why they like,

[42:08] go off together.

[42:09] And I feel like it could do it

[42:11] fairly easily

[42:12] by like,

[42:13] later on,

[42:14] like they blame James Marsden

[42:16] for like,

[42:17] they say he's a domestic terrorist.

[42:19] Like,

[42:19] there are reasons

[42:20] that they could give

[42:21] at this point

[42:22] that they're stuck together,

[42:24] but they do not.

[42:25] And I never feel like

[42:27] they truly bond

[42:28] in this movie,

[42:29] no matter how much work

[42:30] they put into it.

Jamelle Bouie

[42:31] The easiest thing

[42:32] to have done,

[42:33] given what's already

[42:35] in the script,

[42:35] is for the tranquilizer

[42:38] or the electric explosion

[42:39] to sap Sonic speed.

[42:41] There you go.

[42:42] He can't run as fast anymore,

[42:43] so he needs to be driven.

[42:44] Problem solved.

[42:45] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[42:46] Yeah.

[42:46] Actually,

[42:46] that's pretty good.

[42:47] I will say,

[42:48] what I bumped against

[42:49] was that James Marsden

[42:50] is like,

[42:51] okay,

[42:52] there's a talking

[42:53] bipedal hedgehog

[42:54] that wears gloves

[42:55] and sneakers

[42:56] but no other clothes

[42:57] and he's suddenly in my house

[42:59] and he's blue

[43:00] and he runs really fast.

[43:03] Okay,

[43:04] just one of those days.

[43:05] I'm not helping you.

[43:06] Like,

[43:06] he accepts the existence

[43:08] of Sonic so quickly

[43:09] and there's not even,

[43:10] and it's pretty cliche

[43:11] the moment of like,

[43:12] what are you?

[43:12] But they don't even do that.

[43:13] It's just like,

[43:14] dude,

[43:14] get out of my house.

[43:16] Take the fact

[43:16] that you are some kind

[43:17] of abomination of nature

[43:18] and proof of life

[43:21] in other dimensions

[43:22] and other planets.

[43:23] You're the first,

[43:24] this is the first contact

[43:25] between a human

[43:26] and a sentient being

[43:27] that is not human.

[43:28] Get out of my life.

[43:29] I'm a busy man.

[43:30] I'm moving to San Francisco.

[43:31] Like,

[43:31] it's such a strange,

[43:32] it's a strange choice

[43:33] to have him be so nonplussed

[43:35] by the existence of Sonic.

Stuart Wellington

[43:36] I'm sure there's an early version

[43:38] of the script

[43:38] where they're like,

[43:39] and here's the part

[43:40] in the script

[43:40] where Sonic loses his speed

[43:42] and the executives are like,

[43:44] uh,

[43:44] Sonic's fast.

[43:46] no,

[43:47] I know,

[43:47] but he'll,

[43:48] you know,

[43:48] he'll get it back.

[43:48] They're like,

[43:49] nope,

[43:49] that doesn't work for us.

[43:50] They're like,

[43:51] yeah.

[43:51] Okay,

[43:51] so can the villain be fast?

[43:54] Yeah,

Dan McCoy

[43:55] that's okay.

[43:56] That works.

[43:56] And we'll get,

[43:57] we'll get to it later,

[43:58] but there is like a,

[43:59] like a Quicksilver

[44:00] from X-Men sequence

[44:03] in this movie

[44:04] that shows Sonic to like,

[44:06] not only be fast,

[44:07] but basically a superhero himself.

[44:09] And it's like,

[44:10] why does he need James Marsden?

Elliott Kalan

[44:12] Because he doesn't know

[44:13] where San Francisco is,

[44:14] Dan,

[44:14] and there's no way for him

[44:15] to learn that information otherwise.

[44:16] It's locked inside

[44:17] James Marsden's head,

[44:18] like the map on the back

[44:19] of the girl in Waterworld.

[44:20] There's only one way

[44:21] to find out.

[44:22] Okay.

Jamelle Bouie

[44:23] That's a good point

[44:24] because it sort of gets

[44:25] to like the fundamental problem

[44:27] with any property

[44:29] that involves someone that fast,

[44:30] which is that like,

[44:31] they're no longer bound

[44:32] by the laws of physics.

[44:34] And so there are no problems anymore,

[44:36] right?

[44:36] Like all things can be solved,

[44:37] right?

[44:38] Like,

[44:39] oh,

[44:39] oh no,

[44:40] someone died.

[44:41] I'll just use speed

[44:42] to break the time barrier

[44:44] and fix the problem.

[44:47] Oh,

[44:47] I don't know where San Francisco is.

[44:49] Well,

[44:49] I can apparently traverse

[44:50] the entire earth

[44:51] in a minute.

[44:52] So let me,

[44:53] let me do that

[44:54] and figure it out.

Dan McCoy

[44:56] Yeah.

[44:56] I'll just do that.

[44:57] simply gone directly

[44:59] to San Francisco.

[45:00] Like,

[45:01] there would have been

[45:02] no time for Robotnik

[45:03] to do any of the things

[45:04] he does in this movie.

Elliott Kalan

[45:06] No,

[45:06] but Dan,

[45:06] they had to stop off

[45:07] at a roadhouse

[45:08] to get into a bar ball.

[45:10] Well,

[45:10] we'll get to that,

[45:11] I guess.

[45:11] I'm sure,

Stuart Wellington

[45:11] I'm sure in the goof section

[45:13] somebody's like,

[45:14] like,

[45:15] if Sonic is fast enough,

[45:17] this movie shouldn't

[45:18] have lasted this long.

Elliott Kalan

[45:21] Guys,

[45:22] I want to rebut

[45:23] my own statement

[45:23] from earlier.

[45:24] I just realized

[45:25] this movie is better off

[45:26] if James Marsden

[45:27] just accepts Sonic

[45:28] because it spares us

[45:30] from a scene

[45:31] where he's like,

[45:32] get out of that costume

[45:32] and he's grabbing him

[45:33] all over and he goes,

[45:34] here's the zipper

[45:34] and Sonic goes,

[45:35] that's not a zipper

[45:36] and then he like

[45:37] pulls his hand back

[45:38] because there's a worse

[45:39] version of this movie

[45:40] that has that scene in it.

[45:41] I guarantee you.

[45:43] So,

[45:43] I'm glad that didn't happen.

[45:45] Oh,

[45:45] actually,

[45:45] Stuart,

[45:45] I have another goof

[45:46] for you to put

[45:47] in the IMDV entry.

[45:48] Okay,

Stuart Wellington

[45:48] let me just type that up.

[45:49] Okay.

[45:49] Okay,

[45:50] in real life,

[45:51] hedgehogs are not fast.

[45:52] Real life,

[45:53] hedgehogs are not fast.

[45:54] Or actually,

Elliott Kalan

[45:55] put that under factual error.

[45:57] Okay.

[45:57] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[45:58] So,

[45:58] our heroes are on the run.

[46:01] Of course,

[46:01] they stop at a roadhouse

[46:03] that has some very energetic

[46:05] bikers and Hot Wheelers

[46:07] out front.

[46:08] They talk about

[46:09] how Sonic needs to

[46:11] work on his bucket list

[46:12] introducing children

[46:13] to the concept

[46:14] of dying one day.

Dan McCoy

[46:16] Well,

[46:17] and this is one of the things

[46:18] that Sonic doesn't know.

[46:19] We should put that

[46:20] in the column of

[46:21] Sonic does not know this

[46:23] as opposed to

[46:25] all the other things

[46:26] that he seems to be

[46:27] intimately familiar with.

Elliott Kalan

[46:28] Well,

[46:28] he's seen,

[46:29] we know he's seen

[46:29] the movie Speed

[46:30] because we see him

[46:31] watching it.

[46:32] And we know that he's

[46:33] familiar with the Olive Garden,

[46:34] but he hasn't seen

[46:35] the bucket list.

[46:36] And you know what?

[46:36] He's not the target demographic.

[46:38] Like,

[46:38] the bucket list of the movie

[46:39] was for,

[46:40] like,

[46:40] older people,

[46:41] the same people

[46:41] who really love,

[46:42] like,

[46:42] Grace and Frankie,

[46:43] or,

[46:44] uh,

[46:44] what's that movie

[46:45] that we watched

[46:45] where the old people

[46:47] go to Las Vegas

[46:47] and it's Kevin Kline

[46:48] and Robert De Niro?

[46:49] Last Vegas.

[46:50] Last Vegas.

[46:51] Was that what it was called?

[46:52] Last Vegas?

[46:53] It was called

[46:53] Last Vegas.

[46:54] Because the implication

[46:55] was that they were

[46:56] all going to die afterwards.

[46:57] Yep.

[46:58] So,

[46:58] so like,

[46:59] he's not going to go

[46:59] see the bucket list.

[47:00] He's going to be like,

[47:01] that's an old man movie.

[47:02] I want to watch Speed

[47:03] or Speed 2 Cruise Control.

[47:05] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[47:06] So,

[47:07] uh,

[47:07] this is where,

[47:08] of course,

[47:08] they get into a big,

[47:09] uh,

[47:09] you know,

[47:09] they have a little montage

[47:10] of Sonic,

[47:11] uh,

[47:12] crossing things off

[47:12] his list in this,

[47:13] uh,

[47:14] you know,

[47:14] pretty populous

[47:15] roadhouse.

[47:17] And then,

[47:17] it is a packed roadhouse.

[47:19] I mean,

[47:19] it's a big roadhouse that

Dan McCoy

[47:20] also has like,

[47:22] basketball games

[47:23] like you would find

[47:24] at like,

[47:25] Coney Island

[47:25] or,

[47:26] or any,

[47:26] like a,

[47:27] or a Chuck E. Cheese.

[47:28] Um,

[47:29] and,

[47:30] you know,

[47:30] like this is,

[47:31] this is a confusing roadhouse

[47:32] to me in terms of

[47:34] the entertainment there

[47:35] versus the crowd.

[47:37] Well,

Elliott Kalan

[47:37] it is very much a children's

[47:39] movie version of a roadhouse

[47:40] where it's like,

[47:41] it's supposed to seem

[47:42] super tough

[47:43] and super crazy,

[47:44] but like,

[47:45] you can't show,

[47:46] it's not the,

[47:46] it can't be from

[47:47] Dusk Till Dawn.

[47:47] You can't have like

[47:48] a strip show going on

[47:49] or like guys with guns.

Stuart Wellington

[47:50] It's not the double deuce

[47:51] or anything.

Elliott Kalan

[47:52] Yeah,

[47:52] exactly.

[47:53] So it's just like,

[47:54] uh-oh,

[47:55] this roadhouse is

[47:55] pretty crazy.

[47:57] Well,

[47:57] let's just play this

[47:58] basketball game

[47:58] and get enough tickets

[47:59] so that we can get

[47:59] a big novelty comb

[48:00] and then we'll leave.

Stuart Wellington

[48:02] So of course,

[48:02] this is where they get

[48:03] in a bar fight

[48:03] and this is where

[48:04] we have that moment

[48:05] where Sonic moves so fast

[48:07] he's able to stop time

[48:08] and we get that

[48:09] full-on quicksilver moment

[48:10] that Dan was talking about.

[48:11] I mean,

[48:12] we knew this was coming,

[48:13] right guys?

[48:14] Yeah.

[48:15] That scene was the breakout star

[48:17] of that X-Men movie.

[48:19] It has to be replicated.

Dan McCoy

[48:20] I mean,

[48:20] and the scene here

[48:21] is fun enough,

[48:23] some gags are set up,

[48:24] but it is,

[48:25] it did immediately

[48:26] raise the question to me

[48:27] like,

[48:27] okay,

[48:27] well,

[48:28] Sonic is like

[48:29] much faster

[48:30] than I thought he was.

[48:32] He can stop time fast.

Elliott Kalan

[48:34] He can walk between seconds.

[48:35] Yeah,

[48:36] I think that's,

[48:37] also,

[48:37] so here's the thing,

[48:38] if you were moving super fast,

[48:39] could you push like bullets

[48:40] and missiles out of the way

[48:42] like Quicksilver and Sonic do?

[48:44] Because,

[48:44] or would you like

[48:45] go to touch it

[48:46] and it would go right

[48:47] through your finger?

[48:47] Because it's still moving

[48:48] really fast.

[48:49] Does your speed really cancel out

[48:51] the speed of the projectile?

Jamelle Bouie

[48:53] Right.

[48:53] If your velocity is as such

[48:56] that you can do that,

[48:58] then at which point

[48:59] you are generating enough force

[49:00] to be able just to like,

[49:02] move it.

Elliott Kalan

[49:02] Because it's also,

[49:03] because my also wonder is like,

[49:05] if you slam your hand

[49:06] onto a knife,

[49:07] the knife will go

[49:08] through your hand.

[49:09] Like,

[49:09] are you moving so fast

[49:10] that your velocity

[49:11] is adding to the velocity

[49:12] of the bullet

[49:12] or the missile

[49:13] and it is that much

[49:14] more of an impact?

Dan McCoy

[49:16] Now,

[49:17] this probably has

[49:18] nothing to do with it

[49:19] in terms of real life physics,

[49:22] but I will say

[49:22] he is,

[49:24] you know,

[49:24] he,

[49:24] like in these movies,

[49:25] like they do push the bullet

[49:26] away from the side.

[49:28] Rather,

[49:29] they do not put their hand

[49:29] in front of the bullet.

Elliott Kalan

[49:30] That's probably it

[49:31] because that's,

[49:31] a force only moves

[49:32] in one direction,

[49:33] I think.

[49:34] I'm just,

[49:34] you know.

Stuart Wellington

[49:34] Yeah,

[49:35] do you,

[49:35] should I,

[49:36] so I have the,

[49:37] I already have the document open.

[49:38] Should I add this

[49:39] to the goofs column,

[49:40] guys?

[49:41] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[49:41] I guess as,

[49:43] make it,

[49:43] call it incorrectly

[49:44] regarded as goofs.

[49:46] Okay.

[49:47] And it is,

[49:48] it is,

[49:48] I feel like this is

[49:49] the stupid thing

[49:50] in movie viewers' brains

[49:51] where I'm like,

[49:52] magic rings,

[49:53] they create portals,

[49:53] you got it.

[49:54] Okay.

[49:55] Speedy blue hedgehog,

[49:57] yes.

[49:57] Could he really do that

[49:59] with his super speed?

[50:00] Like,

[50:00] it's the dumbest thing

[50:01] for me to fixate on.

Jamelle Bouie

[50:03] The,

[50:03] um,

[50:04] one,

[50:04] one thing we,

[50:05] we shouldn't neglect

[50:06] to mention about

[50:07] this whole sequence

[50:08] is that,

[50:09] thus far,

[50:10] the only human

[50:11] who has met Sonic

[50:12] is,

[50:12] uh,

[50:12] James Morrison's character.

[50:14] They go into this bar

[50:15] and Sonic is just

[50:17] hanging out

[50:17] and people look at him

[50:19] and have no reaction

[50:20] to the fact

[50:21] that he is a talking

[50:22] blue space hedgehog.

[50:24] It is,

[50:25] it is,

[50:25] it is so normal to them

[50:28] that it suggests,

[50:29] well,

[50:29] what it actually suggests

[50:30] about the world

[50:31] is that there are lots

[50:32] of Sonic-like creatures

[50:33] in the world

[50:34] and that this Montana town

[50:36] just happens to have

[50:37] never gotten one before.

Elliott Kalan

[50:38] Well,

[50:39] it's like,

[50:39] uh,

[50:39] it's like Citrusville,

[50:41] Florida,

[50:41] home of the man thing,

[50:43] which happens to be

[50:43] the nexus of all realities.

[50:45] So there's always like

[50:46] Howard the Ducks

[50:46] and barbarians

[50:47] walking through.

[50:48] So I guess this little

[50:49] part of Montana,

[50:49] yeah,

[50:49] they're just used

[50:50] to trans-dimensional visitors.

[50:51] But it does,

[50:52] it is very strange

[50:53] that Sonic's like,

[50:53] no one can ever see me

[50:54] and then all he has to do

[50:55] is put on a hat

[50:56] and a jacket

[50:56] and people are like,

[50:57] sup, little dude,

[50:58] can I get you a drink?

[51:00] It's like,

[51:00] I wonder if at any point

[51:01] he's like,

[51:01] all I needed was a hat.

[51:03] Why didn't I just put

[51:04] a hat on all this time?

[51:06] Especially since you know

[51:06] he's a fan of

[51:07] Sunday in the Park with George

[51:08] and of course

[51:09] its iconic song

[51:10] Finishing the Hat.

[51:11] So he's familiar with

[51:12] the concept of hats

[51:13] because we see him later

[51:14] singing that song, right?

[51:15] Or did I dream that?

Dan McCoy

[51:18] You may have dreamed it.

[51:19] Since we've opened this door,

[51:21] I do want to read

[51:22] three actual goofs

[51:23] from the IMDb page.

[51:25] Okay.

[51:27] When Sonic and Robotnik

[51:28] arrive in Egypt

[51:29] near the Giza pyramids,

[51:30] there's nothing but desert

[51:31] visible in all directions.

[51:33] The pyramids of the Sphinx

[51:34] are actually surrounded

[51:35] by roads,

[51:36] numerous other monuments,

[51:37] and city on three sides.

[51:38] There's a pizza hut

[51:39] less than 1,000 feet

[51:40] from the Sphinx itself.

[51:42] Oh, that's interesting.

[51:43] So that's an interesting goof.

Stuart Wellington

[51:44] I wonder if,

[51:44] but I wonder if that,

[51:46] I mean,

[51:46] that raised the question of

[51:47] did that ring

[51:48] take them to a different

[51:50] time period?

[51:51] Sure.

Elliott Kalan

[51:52] Oh, yeah.

[51:53] I mean...

[51:54] And that's why the Pharaoh

[51:56] did a double take

[51:57] looking at them.

[51:59] And then there's

[52:00] a hieroglyphic

[52:00] in the pyramid

[52:01] of a Sonic-type figure

[52:02] running from a man

[52:03] with a mustache.

[52:04] I do.

Jamelle Bouie

[52:05] There's an Israelite slave

[52:06] pushing up a block

[52:07] and he looks up

[52:08] and is just sort of like,

[52:10] weird,

[52:10] and keeps on.

Elliott Kalan

[52:11] He goes,

[52:12] let my people go,

[52:14] and he just walks away.

Dan McCoy

[52:17] I may laugh at this goof,

[52:18] but I did learn

[52:19] something from it,

[52:20] so that's useful.

[52:21] Yeah, you learned

Elliott Kalan

[52:22] where to get pizza

[52:23] if you're ever in Cairo

[52:24] or Giza, I guess.

Dan McCoy

[52:26] Now, this is a minor goof,

[52:28] but in the in-credit music

[52:29] listing for Queens,

[52:30] Don't Stop Me Now,

[52:31] Freddy,

[52:32] that's with an I-E,

[52:33] Mercury's first name

[52:34] is misspelled as

[52:35] Freddy with a Y.

[52:37] Okay.

[52:37] So that's a minor goof.

[52:39] That's a fair goof.

[52:41] Here's one.

[52:42] Even if Sonic's

[52:43] electromagnetic pulse

[52:44] didn't knock out

[52:45] cell phones themselves,

[52:47] it would affect

[52:48] the cell towers,

[52:49] making them useless.

[52:50] Tom calling Wade

[52:51] during the blackout

[52:52] would not have happened

[52:53] either way.

Elliott Kalan

[52:53] That was a question

[52:54] I had was that

[52:55] there's a blackout,

[52:56] everything's out,

[52:57] yet the phone

[52:57] at the police station

[52:58] works fine.

[52:59] So I wondered if,

[53:00] do those phones

[53:01] still work during blackouts?

[53:03] It's a regular landline.

[53:03] That's a landline.

Dan McCoy

[53:04] A landline would,

[53:05] in fact,

[53:06] you're not old enough

[53:07] to know this, Elliot,

[53:07] but a landline would

[53:08] still be working

[53:09] during a blackout.

Elliott Kalan

[53:10] It's just that I've forgotten

[53:11] it, Dan.

[53:12] I, like,

[53:12] I'm almost 40 years old.

[53:14] I know,

[53:14] I've lived through

[53:15] landline phones.

[53:16] And I've lived through

[53:17] blackouts.

[53:18] The thing that was great

[53:19] about a landline, Elliot,

Stuart Wellington

[53:20] is that it had this long,

[53:21] it had this long cord

[53:23] and you could, like,

[53:23] spin it while you talked.

Dan McCoy

[53:25] Yeah, that's pretty cool.

[53:26] That's pretty cool.

[53:27] Now, now,

[53:28] you don't see this,

[53:29] but, uh,

[53:30] but Stuart was sort of

[53:31] spinning it like,

[53:32] say, a burlesque dancer

[53:33] would be spinning

[53:34] a feather boa.

Elliott Kalan

[53:35] Yeah.

[53:36] Now, I'm, of course,

[53:38] too young to remember this,

[53:39] but at the time,

[53:40] they had real hoverboards

[53:42] that they were going

[53:42] to sell in stores,

[53:43] but parents said

[53:44] it was too dangerous,

[53:45] and so they were

[53:46] removed from the market.

Dan McCoy

[53:48] Now, we did get

[53:48] those shoes from that movie,

[53:50] but they didn't

[53:51] automatically lace up

[53:52] like they were supposed to.

Elliott Kalan

[53:53] No, no, no.

[53:54] Instead, they just

[53:55] laced the normal way

[53:56] by you yelling at your mom

[53:58] to do it for you.

Dan McCoy

[53:59] Okay.

[53:59] Well, anyway,

[53:59] let's get back to this movie

[54:00] before Stuart explodes.

Stuart Wellington

[54:02] Promises undelivered.

[54:04] So,

[54:05] uh, okay,

[54:05] so, uh,

[54:07] so, we,

[54:08] we get introduced

[54:09] that there's one last element

[54:10] on Sonic's bucket list,

[54:12] and then, of course,

[54:13] he can die,

[54:14] which is he wants

[54:15] to make a real friend.

[54:18] Uh, and at this point,

[54:19] I think at this point,

[54:20] we can address

[54:20] Sonic can die for real,

[54:23] right?

[54:23] Because he doesn't have

[54:23] any rings in his body.

[54:25] So, um...

Elliott Kalan

[54:26] Now, he never,

[54:27] now, now,

[54:28] that's video game lore.

[54:29] He never ingests the rings.

[54:30] I think it's just,

[54:31] it's just assumed

[54:32] that he'll die

[54:32] if he gets blown up

[54:34] or shot

[54:34] or poisoned

[54:35] or autoerotic

[54:36] asphyxiation

[54:37] or drowns

[54:38] or any of those things.

[54:40] The same way

[54:41] as normal people die.

Stuart Wellington

[54:42] So,

[54:42] so they get in yet another fight.

[54:44] This time,

[54:44] they get in a fight

[54:45] about, uh,

[54:46] Tom wanting to

[54:47] move to San Francisco

[54:48] because, uh,

[54:49] because, of course,

[54:50] Sonic believes that

[54:51] small towns are better

[54:52] than big towns

[54:53] and why would he ever

[54:54] want to leave Green Hills?

[54:55] Uh, this is another thing

Dan McCoy

[54:56] that, like, sorry,

[54:57] I do want to address

[54:58] this quickly.

[54:59] Sonic is, like,

[55:00] obsessed with how nice

[55:01] this town is

[55:02] that, uh,

[55:03] that James Marsden's

[55:04] character wants to get out of

[55:05] and, like,

[55:06] Sonic,

[55:07] as we have established,

[55:08] I don't know if you

[55:09] know this, guys,

[55:09] he's fast.

[55:11] He can see

[55:12] the rest of the world.

[55:13] Apparently,

[55:13] he has had no curiosity

[55:15] about planet Earth

[55:17] beyond Green Hills.

Elliott Kalan

[55:18] I mean,

[55:18] in his defense,

[55:20] the last thing

[55:20] his adopted,

[55:21] possibly biological,

[55:22] owl mother said to him

[55:23] was,

[55:24] hide yourself,

[55:24] don't let anyone see you.

[55:26] So, he has been living

[55:26] in seclusion on purpose.

[55:28] Uh, now,

[55:29] can he move faster

[55:30] than the human eye can see?

[55:31] Of course he can.

[55:32] So, yeah,

[55:33] but then he's gonna get,

[55:34] what, a split-second view

[55:35] of Brussels

[55:35] before he's gotta spin around

[55:37] and turn back

[55:37] because he's gotta stay

[55:38] moving fast enough

[55:39] that no one can see him?

[55:39] Is he gonna see Tokyo

[55:40] for one day?

[55:41] What, is he my brother?

[55:42] Come on.

[55:43] I don't understand

[55:43] why you think

Dan McCoy

[55:44] that Green Hills

[55:44] is the only place

[55:45] where he can be stealthy

[55:46] and hide, though.

[55:47] Like, see the world, Sonic.

[55:49] You know,

[55:50] maybe you don't want

[55:51] to stay down on the farm.

Elliott Kalan

[55:53] It is one of many movies

[55:54] that takes it for granted

[55:55] that, you know what,

[55:56] it is wrong

[55:57] to leave your hometown

[55:58] to go to the big city,

[55:59] which is the exact opposite

[56:00] of the lesson

[56:01] that life gives you.

[56:03] Oh!

[56:03] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[56:05] So,

[56:06] while they're in this fight,

[56:08] Dr. Robotnik's car drone

[56:09] catches up with them

[56:10] and Sonic just blows

[56:11] the shit out of it, right?

[56:13] He does that, like,

[56:14] roll thing

[56:14] and lightning flies everywhere.

[56:16] And then we have

[56:17] a increasing

[56:18] or decreasing in size

[56:20] series of robots

[56:21] that keep chasing them.

Elliott Kalan

[56:22] This was a really funny concept,

[56:23] I thought,

[56:24] that it keeps,

[56:24] every time they blow it up,

[56:25] a smaller thing comes out

[56:26] and goes after them.

[56:27] Also, I should notice,

[56:28] I should mention,

[56:29] as soon as I said

[56:30] cities were better

[56:31] than small towns,

[56:32] as if God wanted

[56:33] to get back at me,

[56:35] one of you guys

[56:36] had a police siren

[56:36] go off in the background,

[56:38] so it's like,

[56:39] all right,

[56:39] I get it,

[56:40] okay,

[56:41] thanks for getting back

[56:42] at me, reality.

[56:43] But yeah,

[56:44] I like the idea

[56:44] that each time

[56:45] they blow up a thing,

[56:45] there's a smaller thing

[56:46] that comes out after them.

[56:47] There's something

[56:48] kind of Looney Tunes-y

[56:49] about it.

Stuart Wellington

[56:49] Sonic does some flossing

[56:50] so you know

[56:51] that kids are into it.

[56:52] Dan was into it.

[56:53] Dan loves TikTok.

Elliott Kalan

[56:55] Wait,

[56:56] explain to me

[56:56] what you're talking about

[56:57] because I don't remember that.

[56:59] At first I thought

[57:00] you meant he actually

[57:00] flossed with something

[57:01] and I was like,

[57:02] No, he does a little dance.

[57:03] Yeah, Dan,

[57:04] show us the dance.

[57:05] I didn't know

[57:05] that was called flossing.

[57:06] Okay.

[57:07] Yeah, that's the dance.

[57:09] Yeah, yep.

[57:10] Yeah, I see it, Dan.

[57:11] Still doing it.

Dan McCoy

[57:12] For people who can't see me,

[57:13] I'm doing it 100% perfectly.

[57:15] I like that.

[57:16] It's not hirky-jerky at all.

[57:17] It's like,

[57:18] I'm not really thinking about it

[57:19] while I'm doing it.

Elliott Kalan

[57:22] Dan said people who can't see me,

[57:23] which means

[57:24] all six billion people

[57:25] in the world

[57:26] except for three other people.

[57:27] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[57:29] The audience of this

[57:30] stupid thing.

[57:32] So that's called flossing?

Stuart Wellington

[57:33] Yeah, that's called flossing.

[57:34] So Sonic then manages

[57:36] to get the final drone,

[57:38] turns into a little bomb,

[57:39] and Sonic manages

[57:41] to get hurt in the explosion

[57:42] and knocked out.

[57:44] And then Sonic

[57:46] is whisked away

[57:47] to San Francisco

[57:47] where Tom takes him

[57:49] to be healed

[57:50] by his veterinarian wife

[57:51] who, as I mentioned before,

[57:53] is staying with her sister

[57:56] She is obviously nonplussed

[57:58] about a blue alien monster

[57:59] that just appeared

[58:00] in her home

[58:00] or her sister's home.

[58:02] Her sister is not very happy

[58:03] because, of course,

[58:04] Tom is there.

[58:06] Her sister's daughter

[58:07] has tied her up

[58:08] to a chair,

[58:09] which, you know,

[58:10] is just a running goof.

[58:11] Like, it's, you know,

[58:12] that's the kind of jokes

[58:13] we get in this movie.

Elliott Kalan

[58:14] I mean, later on,

[58:14] she's like,

[58:15] I have to go to the bathroom,

[58:16] and then hours later,

[58:17] she's still tied up,

[58:18] and it's like,

[58:18] that's torture.

Dan McCoy

[58:19] They're torturing this woman.

[58:20] Like, that is the definition

Elliott Kalan

[58:22] of torture.

Dan McCoy

[58:22] Like, come on.

[58:23] Also, the sister may

[58:25] unreasonably like Tom

[58:26] just in general,

[58:28] but...

[58:28] Dislike Tom.

[58:28] To be fair,

[58:29] at this point,

[58:30] he is...

[58:30] You can't unreasonably

Elliott Kalan

[58:31] like James Marsden.

[58:32] He's giving you

[58:32] so many reasons to like him.

[58:34] There's nothing unreasonable

[58:34] about that.

Dan McCoy

[58:35] But, at this point,

[58:37] he is a wanted man

[58:39] who is on the news

[58:41] for domestic terrorism

[58:43] carrying an alien

[58:45] into her home.

[58:46] So, she has more reason

[58:48] at this point

[58:49] to be disturbed

[58:50] by his presence.

[58:52] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[58:53] So, they make a plan

[58:55] to go to the pyramid building

[58:56] and get the rings.

[58:57] So, Tom and Maddie

[58:58] go along with Sonic.

[59:00] I wrote this sentence

[59:01] before the end happened here,

[59:04] but I wrote,

[59:05] they find the rings,

[59:06] become best friends,

[59:07] and get interrupted

[59:08] by Robotnik,

[59:09] which I wrote moments

[59:10] before Robotnik

[59:11] actually showed up.

Elliott Kalan

[59:14] Because I knew

[59:15] it was going to happen.

[59:16] Now, before this point,

[59:17] also, Robotnik,

[59:18] he did an experiment

[59:19] on Sonic's quill,

[59:20] and it was so powerful,

[59:22] he overloaded

[59:22] his entire mobile lab.

[59:25] And so,

[59:26] he knows he can power

[59:27] all of his machines

[59:28] with Sonic's energy

[59:29] if he can capture him.

[59:30] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[59:31] Yeah, I've been kind of

[59:33] glossing over

[59:33] the Robotnik elements

[59:35] but Jim Carrey

[59:36] gives it his all.

[59:36] I mean, I feel like

[59:37] he gives such a big performance

[59:39] that I feel like

[59:40] Sonic and Robotnik,

[59:41] the whole time,

[59:42] I'm just like,

[59:43] get these two annoying

[59:44] people together

[59:45] so I don't have to

[59:46] deal with them anymore.

Dan McCoy

[59:48] See, but like,

[59:49] I like Jim Carrey's

[59:50] performance in this.

[59:51] I agree with what

[59:52] Elliot said before.

[59:53] Like, I found it very

[59:54] comforting to see

[59:55] Jim Carrey giving

[59:56] a Jim Carrey performance

[59:57] again because like,

[59:59] Jim Carrey is like,

[1:00:00] like he has proven

[1:00:01] in a few movies

[1:00:03] that he's, you know,

[1:00:04] quite a good

[1:00:05] dramatic actor,

[1:00:06] but then he got

[1:00:07] kind of sidetracked

[1:00:09] into doing bad dramas,

[1:00:12] like unlike,

[1:00:13] say,

[1:00:13] Eternal Sunshine

[1:00:14] where he started out

[1:00:15] like,

[1:00:16] kind of in that zone

[1:00:17] doing good,

[1:00:18] good stuff.

[1:00:19] He's been in bad dramas

[1:00:20] and children's movies

[1:00:21] exclusively.

[1:00:22] And this is a

[1:00:23] children's movie,

[1:00:24] but it's more of like,

[1:00:24] I think,

[1:00:25] like a crossover

[1:00:26] children's movie

[1:00:27] where it's not just like,

[1:00:28] I don't know,

[1:00:28] Mr. Popper's penguins

[1:00:29] or something

[1:00:30] where like,

[1:00:31] it's fun to see him

[1:00:32] do a big silly

[1:00:33] performance again.

[1:00:35] And he's committing.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:37] I think the fact that

[1:00:38] Mr. Robotnik,

[1:00:40] I forgot about his PhD.

[1:00:41] Please,

[1:00:42] that's his father.

[1:00:43] Yeah,

[1:00:44] Mr. Robotnik is my father.

[1:00:45] Call me Dr. Robotnik.

[1:00:47] That's a joke

[1:00:47] they should have had

[1:00:48] in the movie.

[1:00:49] That Dr. Robotnik

[1:00:50] is never presented

[1:00:51] as a scary

[1:00:52] or in any way

[1:00:53] realistic character.

[1:00:55] He is just an

[1:00:55] over-the-top

[1:00:56] cartoon villain

[1:00:57] and Jim Carrey

[1:00:58] is the perfect person

[1:00:59] to do that

[1:01:00] and that there's never,

[1:01:02] and also,

[1:01:02] and like,

[1:01:03] Jim Carrey seems to be

[1:01:04] the one person in the movie

[1:01:05] who I don't remember

[1:01:06] than making any like,

[1:01:07] pop culture references

[1:01:08] that kids wouldn't get.

[1:01:09] Like,

[1:01:10] his jokes are all,

[1:01:11] so much of it

[1:01:11] is just him

[1:01:12] either insulting people

[1:01:13] or like,

[1:01:14] saying things in a funny way.

[1:01:15] There's a part

[1:01:16] where his assistant

[1:01:17] who's mean to

[1:01:17] says something about like,

[1:01:19] I brought you this latte

[1:01:19] with Austrian goat milk.

[1:01:20] I thought you might like it.

[1:01:21] And he goes,

[1:01:22] am I an idiot?

[1:01:23] Of course I want one.

[1:01:25] I love the way you make it.

[1:01:26] And he just shouts it

[1:01:27] as loud as possible.

[1:01:28] And I was like,

[1:01:29] that's a dumb joke.

[1:01:30] Like,

[1:01:30] the joke is just that

[1:01:31] of course he loves it.

[1:01:32] But like,

[1:01:33] the way he delivers it

[1:01:34] is so huge

[1:01:35] that I laughed at it.

[1:01:36] And it's just like,

[1:01:38] it was very fun to me

[1:01:39] to see him like,

[1:01:40] just doing that kind of character

[1:01:42] and like,

[1:01:43] he's really good

[1:01:44] at like,

[1:01:44] certain types of movements

[1:01:45] that,

[1:01:46] you know,

[1:01:47] like,

[1:01:48] real like,

[1:01:48] clown body movements.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:49] He's a physical comedian,

[1:01:51] Elliot?

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:52] I mean,

[1:01:53] he's certainly a comedian

[1:01:54] who uses his body

[1:01:55] as an instrument

[1:01:55] more than say,

[1:01:57] Stephen Wright,

[1:01:58] a comedian who could

[1:01:59] be doing the same act

[1:02:00] if he was a brain in a jar.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:02] He was doing,

[1:02:02] he was doing some dancing

[1:02:04] around Elliot

[1:02:04] in the scene

[1:02:05] that you were

[1:02:05] just now referencing

[1:02:06] where he discovers

[1:02:07] the energy powers

[1:02:08] of Sonic

[1:02:09] that I was like,

[1:02:11] you know,

[1:02:11] Jim Carrey's

[1:02:12] not a young man

[1:02:13] at this point

[1:02:14] and I was amazed

[1:02:15] at some of the physical stuff

[1:02:16] he was doing

[1:02:17] in that scene.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:18] I think,

[1:02:19] well,

[1:02:19] he's,

[1:02:20] you know,

[1:02:20] he's in good shape.

[1:02:21] He's the J-Lo

[1:02:21] of male comedy performers

[1:02:23] and that at his age

[1:02:24] his body is impeccable

[1:02:25] but like,

[1:02:27] but I think it's like,

[1:02:28] there's that scene

[1:02:28] in Bloodshot

[1:02:29] that we watched recently

[1:02:30] where the bad guy

[1:02:30] is like dancing

[1:02:31] to Psycho Killer

[1:02:33] and the whole point of it

[1:02:34] is this is like

[1:02:34] a cliche thing

[1:02:35] and when Jim Carrey does

[1:02:36] it is cliche

[1:02:37] for the villain

[1:02:37] to have like

[1:02:38] a little dance

[1:02:39] but Jim Carrey

[1:02:40] is so good

[1:02:40] at moving himself

[1:02:41] that I was like,

[1:02:42] oh,

[1:02:42] I could watch this

[1:02:43] for a while.

[1:02:44] So it was just,

[1:02:44] I liked those,

[1:02:45] I liked seeing him on,

[1:02:46] if it was called

[1:02:46] the Dr. Robotnik movie,

[1:02:48] I would have been like,

[1:02:49] all right,

[1:02:49] maybe I'll like this movie

[1:02:51] but then instead

[1:02:51] Sonic's got to come in

[1:02:53] and spout out like

[1:02:54] 40 like quick jabs

[1:02:56] constantly

[1:02:57] and it's too much.

Jamelle Bouie

[1:02:59] I'll just say that

[1:03:00] Jim Carrey is great

[1:03:01] in this but

[1:03:02] the fact that he was

[1:03:03] cast as Dr. Robotnik

[1:03:04] is again,

[1:03:05] like a very 90s element

[1:03:06] of this movie.

[1:03:07] Like that casting

[1:03:08] is straight up

[1:03:09] like an issue

[1:03:09] of Wizard Magazine

[1:03:11] from like 90s.

[1:03:13] Because if it was,

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:15] yeah,

[1:03:15] it would be

[1:03:15] Jim Carrey as Dr. Robotnik,

[1:03:17] Howie Long as Venom,

[1:03:18] of course,

[1:03:19] Glenn Danzig as Wolverine

[1:03:20] and probably Glenn Danzig

[1:03:23] as Knuckles.

[1:03:24] Who would,

[1:03:24] who do you think

[1:03:24] Wizard would cast

[1:03:25] as the,

[1:03:26] in the Sonic movie?

[1:03:26] Who else,

[1:03:27] who would they cast

[1:03:27] as Sonic?

[1:03:28] Like,

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:29] I mean,

[1:03:30] I feel like

[1:03:30] they would get some,

[1:03:31] who's that wrestler

[1:03:32] with the slick back hair?

[1:03:34] That guy would be,

[1:03:35] that guy would be Knuckles.

[1:03:37] Oh, Slicky?

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:38] I can't remember his name.

[1:03:39] For Sonic,

[1:03:40] it would either be like

[1:03:41] Danny DeVito

[1:03:42] or,

[1:03:43] because he's short,

[1:03:44] or it would be like,

[1:03:45] I don't know,

[1:03:47] somebody who,

[1:03:48] because they would either

[1:03:48] cast it just on appearance

[1:03:50] or it would be on like

[1:03:51] someone that they thought

[1:03:52] was cool

[1:03:53] because they were a wrestler

[1:03:53] or a football player.

[1:03:55] But,

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:55] Right,

[1:03:56] right,

[1:03:56] right.

[1:03:57] Gambit would be

[1:03:58] Jean-Claude Van Damme,

[1:03:59] which is actually

[1:03:59] great casting.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:02] And,

[1:04:02] this is,

[1:04:03] we're still casting

[1:04:04] the Sonic movie,

[1:04:04] right?

[1:04:05] Yeah,

[1:04:05] the Sonic movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:06] Yeah,

[1:04:06] but I don't know

[1:04:07] the Sonic characters,

[1:04:08] so,

[1:04:09] and Tails would be like,

[1:04:11] what,

[1:04:12] like,

[1:04:12] I don't know.

[1:04:13] Macaulay Culkin.

[1:04:15] That's what I was thinking too,

[1:04:16] Macaulay Culkin.

[1:04:16] Yeah,

[1:04:17] look,

[1:04:17] this is wizard casting.

[1:04:18] They can get big stars.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:20] Yeah,

[1:04:20] I mean,

[1:04:20] I feel like

[1:04:21] when I,

[1:04:22] when I said that

[1:04:23] Robotnik is annoying,

[1:04:24] it isn't an indictment

[1:04:25] of Jim Carrey's performance.

[1:04:27] I feel like the character

[1:04:28] is meant to be annoying

[1:04:28] like a non-threatening villain

[1:04:31] in a children's movie is.

[1:04:32] Oh,

[1:04:32] yes,

[1:04:32] very much so.

[1:04:33] Yeah,

[1:04:33] yeah.

[1:04:34] So,

[1:04:35] they,

[1:04:36] they have a big fight.

[1:04:37] Sonic pushes his,

[1:04:38] his friends off a building.

[1:04:40] He plays drums

[1:04:41] on a bunch of bullets.

[1:04:43] And then he starts to run away

[1:04:44] and we learn,

[1:04:45] uh-oh,

[1:04:46] Robotnik has managed

[1:04:47] to supercharge

[1:04:48] his,

[1:04:49] his little spaceship thing.

[1:04:51] Now,

[1:04:51] he's just as fast as Sonic

[1:04:53] or is he?

[1:04:54] We'll find out.

[1:04:55] So,

[1:04:56] we are now

[1:04:56] back at the beginning

[1:04:57] of the movie

[1:04:58] where Robotnik

[1:04:59] is chasing him

[1:05:00] around San Francisco.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:01] Full circle.

[1:05:02] It's a real last year

Dan McCoy

[1:05:03] at Mariam Bad.

[1:05:04] I want to make it clear.

[1:05:05] He did not push his friends

[1:05:06] off a building

[1:05:07] to their death.

[1:05:09] He did it with,

[1:05:10] he did it with a ring

[1:05:11] that sent them back

[1:05:12] to Green Hills.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:14] Yeah.

[1:05:14] Well,

[1:05:14] but we don't know that at first.

[1:05:15] At first,

[1:05:16] we just see him push them off the,

[1:05:17] he says,

[1:05:17] you've done your use to me.

[1:05:19] I'm done with you.

[1:05:19] And he pushes them off the building.

[1:05:21] Wow,

[1:05:21] that was cold,

[1:05:22] Sonic.

Jamelle Bouie

[1:05:23] And then he looks at the camera

[1:05:24] and goes,

[1:05:25] ain't that a stinker?

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:26] And that's,

[1:05:26] that's,

[1:05:27] and then James,

[1:05:29] and then both their bodies

[1:05:30] splat on the ground

[1:05:31] and he's like,

[1:05:31] eh.

[1:05:33] And then he jabs.

[1:05:35] He jabs.

[1:05:36] And he goes,

[1:05:37] Yeah,

[1:05:37] the next we see them,

Dan McCoy

[1:05:38] they're crawling out of a

[1:05:39] James Martian shaped hole

[1:05:40] in the cement.

[1:05:41] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:42] And they're like,

[1:05:43] oh,

[1:05:43] and there's little tails

[1:05:44] just fluttering around their heads.

[1:05:46] Yeah,

[1:05:46] that's great.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:47] Yeah,

[1:05:47] so they're running around,

[1:05:48] running around San Francisco.

[1:05:49] They take this fight

[1:05:50] out of San Francisco,

[1:05:51] of course.

[1:05:52] Sonic starts throwing rings.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:54] What?

[1:05:54] I want to mention only,

[1:05:55] sorry to interrupt that,

[1:05:56] San Francisco,

[1:05:57] a notoriously overcrowded city

[1:05:58] with,

[1:05:59] and that's why the real estate prices

[1:06:00] are so high and everything.

[1:06:01] The streets are so empty.

[1:06:02] There's maybe one car per road

[1:06:04] because they have to CGI the whole thing.

[1:06:06] it is a slow day in San Francisco.

[1:06:08] Maybe this is happening

[1:06:09] during the quarantine.

[1:06:10] Like,

[1:06:10] there's nobody out on the streets.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:12] So,

[1:06:13] they throw a ring

[1:06:14] and they go to Egypt.

[1:06:15] Where else do they go before,

[1:06:17] they eventually just end up

[1:06:18] back in Green Hills

[1:06:19] because Sonic has a limited imagination.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:21] Do they go to,

[1:06:22] yeah,

[1:06:22] where do they go

[1:06:23] aside from Egypt?

[1:06:24] I was waiting for them

[1:06:25] to be like all over the world,

[1:06:27] but they don't go that many places.

[1:06:28] No,

[1:06:29] the Great Wall.

[1:06:30] That was on his bucket list.

[1:06:30] Oh,

[1:06:30] that's right.

[1:06:31] And they run the Great Wall.

[1:06:32] And he's like,

[1:06:32] finally I can open up.

[1:06:34] And he doesn't,

[1:06:36] again,

[1:06:36] they should be knocking over tourists

[1:06:38] left and right,

[1:06:38] but there's nobody on the Great Wall.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:40] No.

[1:06:40] For a big special effects movie,

[1:06:43] the imagination of this film

[1:06:46] is limited in terms of scope.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:48] Yeah,

[1:06:49] I mean,

[1:06:49] he should have opened a portal to the moon,

[1:06:51] runs past Neil Armstrong,

[1:06:52] and he's like,

[1:06:53] one small step for a man,

[1:06:54] one giant leap for a hedgehog,

[1:06:56] and then Ground Control's like,

[1:06:57] what was that?

[1:06:58] And then he goes through Paris,

[1:06:59] and they run up and down the Eiffel Tower,

[1:07:01] and a mime goes,

[1:07:02] Sacre bleu,

[1:07:02] and then covers his mouth with his hand

[1:07:04] because he's not supposed to talk.

[1:07:05] He's a mime.

[1:07:05] Oh,

Dan McCoy

[1:07:05] there is a mime joke,

[1:07:06] right?

[1:07:07] Like,

[1:07:07] they do go to Paris.

[1:07:08] Oh,

[1:07:08] you're right.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:08] They do go to Paris,

[1:07:09] and there is a mime,

[1:07:10] and this girl does not enjoy this mime,

[1:07:12] and then she sees Sonic behind the mime,

[1:07:13] and laughs.

[1:07:14] That's not the mime joke they should do.

[1:07:15] They should have done my mime joke.

[1:07:16] And then,

[1:07:17] like,

[1:07:17] they go to,

[1:07:19] I don't know,

[1:07:19] Japan,

[1:07:20] and there's samurai or something.

[1:07:21] You know,

[1:07:21] kids' ideas of what countries are like.

[1:07:23] The countries are still what we think.

[1:07:24] There was a,

[1:07:25] I remember once.

[1:07:25] They go to the Wild West.

[1:07:27] I wrote a joke once for The Daily Show

[1:07:28] that did not make it on the air,

[1:07:29] I think.

[1:07:30] That was during the big uprising in Tahrir Square

[1:07:33] that overthrew Mubarak,

[1:07:35] and I was like,

[1:07:35] so now there's a new thing for us to know

[1:07:37] about Egyptian history,

[1:07:38] and I had a timeline of Egyptian history,

[1:07:39] and it said pyramids,

[1:07:41] 3000 BC,

[1:07:42] and then nothing until now.

[1:07:44] And then,

[1:07:44] like,

[1:07:45] because all Americans know about Egypt

[1:07:46] is the pyramids,

[1:07:47] which is thousands of years ago,

[1:07:49] but they didn't,

[1:07:50] instead they just did the pyramids

[1:07:51] and the Great Wall,

[1:07:52] and then that one moment in France.

[1:07:53] Yeah,

[1:07:53] but not as good as mine.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:54] Okay,

[1:07:55] so Sonic eventually ends up back in Rio,

[1:07:58] and it's carnival,

[1:07:59] and Sonic is,

[1:07:59] like,

[1:07:59] hiding behind ladies' butts.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:01] Like,

[1:08:01] also,

[1:08:01] you would love that,

[1:08:02] Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:03] So they,

[1:08:04] they end up in Green Hills.

[1:08:06] All the locals show up.

[1:08:08] It looks like,

[1:08:09] it looks like Sonic gets blasted,

[1:08:11] and he's lying on the ground,

[1:08:12] and we're like,

[1:08:13] whoa,

[1:08:13] Sonic's dead.

[1:08:14] And then,

[1:08:15] like,

[1:08:15] Tom starts to stand up.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:16] Wait,

[1:08:17] if I get a,

[1:08:17] so,

[1:08:18] Jamel,

[1:08:18] did you think Sonic was dead at this point?

[1:08:20] I did not,

[1:08:21] no.

[1:08:22] Okay,

[1:08:22] so Stuart,

[1:08:23] so Stuart's just speaking for himself,

[1:08:26] then.

[1:08:27] So,

[1:08:27] everybody,

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:28] everybody assumes Sonic is dead.

[1:08:29] He's covered in scorch marks,

[1:08:31] and you're like,

[1:08:31] man,

[1:08:31] he got roasted.

[1:08:34] And then,

[1:08:34] Tom uses a ring to jump on the back of Robotnik's thing,

[1:08:38] and you're like,

[1:08:39] oh,

[1:08:39] wait,

[1:08:40] oh,

[1:08:40] that didn't work.

[1:08:41] And then,

[1:08:41] Tom pledges his eternal friendship,

[1:08:44] which,

[1:08:44] of course,

[1:08:45] wakes Sonic up in friendship lightning.

[1:08:47] Sonic,

[1:08:48] like,

[1:08:48] is totally cheesed out.

[1:08:50] He's like,

[1:08:50] super yoked.

[1:08:51] And he starts bouncing all around and blasting Robotnik before knocking him onto the mushroom planet.

[1:08:57] The locals rally around Sonic.

[1:09:01] After one crazy weekend,

[1:09:02] they all decide to just move back to Montana.

[1:09:06] A government official shows up with an Olive Garden gift certificate.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:10] To thank them for covering up the situation,

[1:09:13] and I assume getting rid of Robotnik.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:14] Yeah.

[1:09:14] Yeah,

[1:09:15] I,

[1:09:16] this,

[1:09:16] this seemed unclear to me,

[1:09:18] like,

[1:09:18] what the hell?

[1:09:19] Like,

[1:09:19] why the government,

[1:09:20] who sent in Robotnik is suddenly like,

[1:09:23] oh,

[1:09:23] we're cool with you just keeping this alien,

[1:09:25] and,

[1:09:26] uh,

[1:09:26] thanks for everything you did.

[1:09:28] And it's like,

[1:09:29] okay,

[1:09:29] like,

[1:09:30] I,

[1:09:30] I would appreciate at least one scene before that where they're,

[1:09:33] like,

[1:09:34] calling him and be like,

[1:09:34] Robotnik,

[1:09:35] you're destroying cities.

[1:09:36] Or like,

[1:09:37] I don't know.

[1:09:37] It just seemed very strange that they just turned around immediately and are like,

[1:09:41] thanks for your service.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:42] It was also around this time that I started wondering,

[1:09:44] how old is Sonic supposed to be?

[1:09:46] Like,

[1:09:46] is he a kid or is he a grown up?

[1:09:48] Because if he's a kid,

[1:09:49] there's something very weird about James Marsden,

[1:09:51] like,

[1:09:51] sharing a hotel room with this kid that he just met.

[1:09:53] Yeah.

[1:09:54] If he's a grown up,

[1:09:55] then it's very weird that he's like,

[1:09:57] just wearing shoes and no other clothes.

[1:09:59] It's a 90s movie.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:00] I feel like he's a young teen,

[1:10:01] a young teen is the vibe I got.

[1:10:03] I don't know.

[1:10:04] Okay.

[1:10:05] He's ageless and eternal.

[1:10:06] Okay.

[1:10:06] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:08] Uh,

[1:10:08] yeah,

[1:10:08] so they welcome Sonic into their home.

[1:10:10] We get a post-credit scene where Jim Carrey fully goes,

[1:10:13] uh,

[1:10:13] Dr. Robotnik.

[1:10:14] He looks just like the guy in the video game,

[1:10:16] which is like,

[1:10:17] such a classic,

[1:10:18] like,

[1:10:19] adaptation of a property where they're like,

[1:10:21] we're going to introduce you to the,

[1:10:22] the bad guy before he actually,

[1:10:24] looks like the bad guy you're familiar with.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:26] Yeah.

[1:10:27] To that end,

[1:10:28] I just want to say like him,

[1:10:30] like with his crazy mustache,

[1:10:32] like growling to himself on this really kind of fun looking mushroom planet.

[1:10:36] I was like,

[1:10:37] this is the movie I wanted to watch the whole time.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:39] Yeah.

[1:10:39] It's kind of how I felt when I saw Joker.

[1:10:41] And at the end,

[1:10:42] he's the Joker.

[1:10:43] okay,

[1:10:43] I'm kind of interested to see what the Joker does now.

[1:10:45] And then the credit started.

[1:10:47] wait,

[1:10:47] what?

[1:10:48] I just watched this guy be sad for two hours.

[1:10:51] Now he's finally the Joker and the movie is done.

[1:10:53] And then we get,

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:54] we get our second post credit scene.

[1:10:56] And that's tails,

[1:10:57] baby.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:58] Yeah.

[1:10:58] Tails hops through and goes,

[1:11:00] my,

[1:11:00] my reader device says that Sonic should be here and flies off into the distance.

[1:11:04] And that was when I turned to my wife.

[1:11:06] She was not watching the movie with me,

[1:11:08] but she happened to be in the room.

[1:11:09] And I turned to her and I was like,

[1:11:11] so when the first Avengers movie ended and Thanos turned around and I got really excited,

[1:11:17] is this,

[1:11:18] that,

[1:11:18] like,

[1:11:18] was that as dumb as the idea that the audience would get excited that tails is going to be in the next movie?

[1:11:23] Like,

[1:11:24] is my stuff that I'm passionate about as stupid as this stuff?

[1:11:28] And guys,

[1:11:29] I got to,

[1:11:29] probably,

[1:11:30] I got to hope that the,

[1:11:32] that Jim Starlin's,

[1:11:33] uh,

[1:11:33] philosophical work in the Thanos comics,

[1:11:35] uh,

[1:11:36] did not make it so,

[1:11:37] but there was part of me,

[1:11:38] it really brought me down to be like,

[1:11:40] okay,

[1:11:40] so when I get excited,

[1:11:41] when,

[1:11:41] when I,

[1:11:42] when my character shows up,

[1:11:42] it's just as stupid as if I was there and like,

[1:11:45] tails showed up and I was like,

[1:11:46] tails,

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:47] yeah.

[1:11:47] I mean,

[1:11:48] I'll,

[1:11:48] I'll defend the difference there because like,

[1:11:50] Thanos is like kind of a deep cut,

[1:11:53] like not every single person who's familiar with soup,

[1:11:56] like Marvel comics would know who he was prior to that.

[1:12:00] Uh,

[1:12:00] and tails is like in the title of the second or third Sonic game,

[1:12:04] right?

[1:12:05] Yeah.

[1:12:05] Okay.

[1:12:05] Yeah.

[1:12:05] That's true.

[1:12:06] Yeah.

[1:12:06] There's a,

[1:12:06] so that makes it better than they're introducing an esoteric.

Jamelle Bouie

[1:12:10] I don't know.

[1:12:10] No,

[1:12:11] it makes it great.

[1:12:13] Let's do it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:13] I was just going to say,

[1:12:14] Elliot,

[1:12:15] uh,

[1:12:15] it's not the same.

[1:12:16] Okay.

[1:12:16] Thank you.

Jamelle Bouie

[1:12:18] I,

[1:12:18] I was,

[1:12:19] I was watching this with my wife and this is the point at which she looked up

[1:12:23] and goes,

[1:12:23] the fuck is that?

[1:12:24] And I,

[1:12:25] uh,

[1:12:26] I said,

[1:12:28] I said,

[1:12:28] it's a fox.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:30] Yeah.

[1:12:31] Similarly,

[1:12:32] as long as we're telling,

[1:12:33] uh,

[1:12:34] the stories about watching this with,

[1:12:35] with our,

[1:12:36] uh,

[1:12:36] significant others,

[1:12:37] I,

[1:12:38] uh,

[1:12:39] like toward the end,

[1:12:40] Audrey was like,

[1:12:41] so do you think we're going to,

[1:12:42] I guess,

[1:12:43] are we going to see tails?

[1:12:44] And I'm like,

[1:12:45] no,

[1:12:45] I guarantee you the last thing in this movie is going to be tails appearing and being

[1:12:50] like saying something like,

[1:12:51] finally,

[1:12:52] I found him or something like that.

[1:12:54] And lo and behold,

[1:12:55] that's exactly what happens at the end of this.

[1:12:57] Exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:57] I wasn't sure if it was going to be tails or if it was going to be knuckles coming through

[1:13:00] the portal and being like,

[1:13:01] all right,

[1:13:02] boys get him,

[1:13:03] you know,

[1:13:03] something like that.

Jamelle Bouie

[1:13:04] Yeah.

[1:13:04] That would have been interesting,

[1:13:06] right?

[1:13:06] Knuckles shows up and it's like,

[1:13:08] you know,

[1:13:08] we,

[1:13:08] we got to finish the job.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:10] Yeah.

[1:13:11] Yeah.

[1:13:11] But it said like tails is going to find him and what it's like,

[1:13:14] I mean,

[1:13:15] if there's,

[1:13:15] I assume they're going to make a sequel because this movie did well,

[1:13:17] but that might end up being like the end of the super Mario brothers movie where the

[1:13:20] princess comes to the portal with this huge gun and is like,

[1:13:22] we need your help.

[1:13:23] And we never found out what that was about because they never made another movie,

[1:13:26] man.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:28] I love it.

[1:13:29] Uh,

[1:13:29] yeah.

[1:13:29] So that was Sonic the Hedgehog.

[1:13:31] It was like just exactly enough of a movie.

[1:13:34] Uh,

[1:13:35] I didn't hate it.

[1:13:37] Uh,

[1:13:37] wait,

[1:13:38] wait,

[1:13:38] if you're going to wait,

[1:13:39] we,

Dan McCoy

[1:13:39] how many years have we been doing this?

[1:13:41] We're doing this podcast.

[1:13:43] Like I feel like every time we do it,

[1:13:45] Dan,

[1:13:45] too many.

[1:13:47] People start giving their final judgments before the,

[1:13:51] we introduced the segment that we've established since the beginning,

[1:13:54] which is called final judgments.

[1:13:56] You're right,

[1:13:56] Dan,

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:56] let's start being professional now.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:58] I guess I should,

[1:13:59] so should I just continue talking about this movie without any opinion injected,

[1:14:04] Dan?

[1:14:04] Should I talk about it?

[1:14:05] Like I'm one of Robotnik's drones.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:07] Perhaps we have a dedicated segment where you can give your opinion.

[1:14:12] Yet you feel like you must give it beforehand.

[1:14:15] Is this a good,

[1:14:16] bad movie,

[1:14:17] a bad,

[1:14:17] bad movie or a movie you kind of like,

[1:14:19] Stuart,

[1:14:20] what were you going to say about it?

[1:14:21] You have an opinion about it.

[1:14:23] Oh,

[1:14:23] you want my opinion now?

[1:14:25] Whoa.

[1:14:25] Okay.

[1:14:25] During the right.

[1:14:26] Okay.

[1:14:27] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:28] Uh,

[1:14:28] I don't know.

[1:14:28] It was,

[1:14:29] uh,

[1:14:29] it was fine.

[1:14:30] It was short.

[1:14:31] Uh,

[1:14:31] I actually like,

[1:14:32] you know,

[1:14:33] it's,

[1:14:33] there's a lot of jokes.

[1:14:35] Uh,

[1:14:35] I don't know what it would be like if you're a parent and you have to watch this with your

[1:14:39] kid a million times.

[1:14:40] Uh,

[1:14:41] but yeah,

[1:14:41] it was fine.

[1:14:42] Uh,

[1:14:43] I guess it's,

[1:14:44] it's not a movie I like and it's not really,

[1:14:47] uh,

[1:14:48] I get,

[1:14:49] it's,

[1:14:49] I don't know.

[1:14:50] It's like,

[1:14:50] I guess it's a movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:51] It's almost like this,

[1:14:52] this shows why our final judgment segment is a little flawed in that so often the movies

[1:14:56] don't fit the three categories.

[1:14:57] No,

[1:14:57] that's fine.

[1:14:58] I mean,

Dan McCoy

[1:14:58] people can say that in the segment.

[1:15:00] I just want,

[1:15:00] I just want to like,

[1:15:01] you know,

[1:15:02] uh,

[1:15:03] I would say this movie is like,

[1:15:07] as people have said,

[1:15:07] it's relatively short at an hour 40.

[1:15:11] It could have been 90 minutes.

[1:15:12] Um,

[1:15:13] I,

[1:15:13] what I,

[1:15:14] when I watch a movie like,

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:15] what would you cut Dan?

[1:15:17] The part where Sonic is just riding a mechanical bull for no reason?

Dan McCoy

[1:15:21] Uh,

[1:15:22] when I watch a movie like this that has so little in the way of like interesting plot turns

[1:15:28] or characterization,

[1:15:29] I am amazed at movies or TV shows that are much shorter,

[1:15:33] that pack in so much,

[1:15:35] uh,

[1:15:36] character development and interesting plot turns.

[1:15:39] I'm like,

[1:15:40] how do these exist in the same universe?

[1:15:42] Do like better movies have some sort of time dilation power where they're able to stuff,

[1:15:47] this stuff in?

[1:15:48] Um,

[1:15:49] so I don't know.

[1:15:50] I like this movie looks okay.

[1:15:53] The director is like a,

[1:15:54] an animation director and the actors are giving it their all.

[1:15:57] It just doesn't have much to it.

[1:16:00] I think that like,

[1:16:01] if you're eight,

[1:16:03] this is probably a pretty good movie.

[1:16:04] There are a couple off color jokes that don't need to be in there,

[1:16:06] but,

[1:16:06] um,

[1:16:07] that's the best I would say about it.

[1:16:08] Like this movie could be worse.

[1:16:10] It's my,

[1:16:11] yeah,

[1:16:12] I didn't,

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:13] I didn't quite like it for myself,

[1:16:15] but like I could see allowing my children to watch it.

[1:16:18] I will say grading it on the very poor curve of video game based movies.

[1:16:24] Yeah.

[1:16:24] I think it probably is pretty,

[1:16:26] is relatively high on that curve.

[1:16:28] Like,

[1:16:28] yeah,

[1:16:28] it's up there with,

[1:16:29] uh,

[1:16:29] up there with double dragon,

[1:16:30] right?

[1:16:30] Yeah.

[1:16:31] Yeah.

[1:16:31] It's right up there with double dragon and doom and,

[1:16:33] uh,

[1:16:33] Chun-Li,

[1:16:34] street part of the legend of Chun-Li,

[1:16:35] like,

[1:16:36] and mortal combat.

[1:16:37] And like,

[1:16:38] there's so I,

[1:16:39] as far as movies based on video games go,

[1:16:41] this is one of the better ones,

[1:16:43] but it's,

[1:16:45] it's still not,

[1:16:45] I would,

[1:16:45] if you're over the age of like nine,

[1:16:47] I wouldn't be like,

[1:16:48] pop it in.

[1:16:48] You're going to love it.

Jamelle Bouie

[1:16:50] So incidentally,

[1:16:52] I,

[1:16:52] we actually watched mortal combat last,

[1:16:54] not last night,

[1:16:55] but the night before,

[1:16:55] uh,

[1:16:56] because we were just going through Netflix and it was on and I hadn't seen it a long time.

[1:17:00] Um,

[1:17:01] and it was a movie that I watched a ton of as a,

[1:17:03] as a little kid.

[1:17:05] And,

[1:17:05] um,

[1:17:06] mortal combat is a worse movie,

[1:17:07] but it's,

[1:17:09] it's,

[1:17:09] so it's bad and interesting ways.

[1:17:12] It's sort of like,

[1:17:12] it's not bland at all.

[1:17:14] It's just sort of like kind of gonzo.

[1:17:15] And that makes it way more enjoyable than Sonic,

[1:17:18] which is objectively a better put together movie,

[1:17:21] but it's just so bland and paint by numbers.

[1:17:24] And,

[1:17:25] you know,

[1:17:26] obviously written by committee,

[1:17:28] uh,

[1:17:29] that it kind of like,

[1:17:30] it's like the only thing about Sonic that I would recommend to anyone.

[1:17:34] It's just like,

[1:17:35] yeah,

[1:17:35] you get to see Jim Carrey do his thing for,

[1:17:38] you know,

[1:17:39] 40 minutes tops.

[1:17:41] Uh,

[1:17:42] and,

[1:17:42] uh,

[1:17:43] that's fun,

[1:17:44] I guess,

[1:17:44] but there's nothing like,

[1:17:46] there's nothing crazy about it.

[1:17:48] It's just sort of like a movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:49] This is,

[1:17:49] this is definitely,

[1:17:50] this is the movie you put on.

[1:17:52] If you have those,

[1:17:52] that car with the TV in the backseat for kids,

[1:17:55] like you just put it on and you ignore it.

[1:17:57] And what an hour and 40 minutes later,

[1:17:59] hopefully you've made it through traffic and you're where you need to be.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:03] Well,

[1:18:03] and it doesn't have like,

[1:18:04] it doesn't have any like super irritating musical numbers.

[1:18:07] It doesn't have like any particularly like long extended annoying parts.

[1:18:12] Like,

[1:18:12] I feel like,

[1:18:13] I feel like it's actually pretty,

[1:18:15] you know,

[1:18:16] it goes pretty fast.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:17] Yeah.

[1:18:18] I would,

[1:18:18] I,

[1:18:18] them casting Jim Carrey goes a long way for me in,

[1:18:22] in making it more bearable.

[1:18:23] I,

[1:18:23] uh,

[1:18:24] correct me.

[1:18:24] So,

[1:18:24] so I haven't seen Mortal Kombat since I saw it in the theaters.

[1:18:27] Uh,

[1:18:28] I kind of remember Goro just walking out and then,

[1:18:31] and then not making a big deal about Goro being there.

[1:18:33] Is that,

[1:18:34] does that the case or does he get a big buildup?

Jamelle Bouie

[1:18:37] No,

[1:18:37] that's totally the case.

[1:18:38] There's a scene where Kano is like eating chicken and Goro's in the chair and

[1:18:42] the camera turns to Goro.

[1:18:44] So we're like,

[1:18:44] Oh yeah,

[1:18:44] here,

[1:18:45] here's,

[1:18:45] it's like four armed,

[1:18:47] you know,

[1:18:48] man guy,

[1:18:48] monster giant with four arms.

[1:18:52] No,

[1:18:52] I mean,

[1:18:52] so the thing I had forgotten about that movie is it starts with the Mortal Kombat theme song.

[1:18:57] Like there's no,

[1:18:58] there's no like opening credits or anything.

[1:19:01] It's just like immediately the theme song plays and it's like at the volumes,

[1:19:05] like 120%.

[1:19:06] And it also,

[1:19:08] in all seriousness,

[1:19:09] like I kind of lost my mind.

[1:19:11] Like I heard it and I was like,

[1:19:14] I got like legitimately excited to watch the movie.

[1:19:16] It was a very strange feeling.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:18] Yeah.

[1:19:18] You like look down in your remote control had been shattered by your fist.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:26] Okay.

[1:19:27] So wait,

[1:19:27] can you guys think of any genuinely good movies based on video games?

[1:19:32] Are there any?

[1:19:34] There must be some.

[1:19:35] I want someone to write us in.

[1:19:36] Taking a Pelham one,

[1:19:37] two,

[1:19:37] three.

[1:19:38] Yeah.

[1:19:38] That's based on the video game.

[1:19:39] Sure.

[1:19:40] Yeah.

[1:19:40] And of course there's the movie,

[1:19:41] uh,

[1:19:41] Descent,

[1:19:42] which is based on that,

[1:19:43] that rail shooter descent.

[1:19:45] Right.

[1:19:46] Yes.

[1:19:46] Of course.

[1:19:47] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:47] Uh,

[1:19:47] let's,

[1:19:48] I'm looking at a list.

[1:19:50] Uh,

[1:19:51] but are you checking it twice?

[1:19:53] The,

[1:19:54] uh,

[1:19:54] Ooh,

[1:19:55] God,

[1:19:55] this is not a great,

[1:19:57] um,

[1:19:58] this is not a great list at all.

[1:20:00] Uh,

[1:20:01] I kind of like the first resident evil.

[1:20:03] Like later on,

[1:20:04] it gets like way into,

[1:20:05] uh,

[1:20:06] like mythology and I don't follow it.

[1:20:09] It's like,

[1:20:09] it's got as complex a mythology as the fast and furious movies.

[1:20:13] We just ignore the,

[1:20:15] uh,

[1:20:15] that element of them.

[1:20:16] Um,

[1:20:17] this is very,

[1:20:17] page is okay.

[1:20:19] It's not,

Jamelle Bouie

[1:20:19] I don't know.

[1:20:20] Yeah.

[1:20:21] I thought rampage was like much better than I expected it to be.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:24] Oh,

[1:20:25] see,

[1:20:25] I didn't,

[1:20:25] I never saw a rampage.

[1:20:26] I should have,

[1:20:27] I used to love that game as a kid.

[1:20:28] Cause it was what I wanted to do.

[1:20:29] Just smashed up.

[1:20:30] Wait a minute.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:31] Do any of the monsters turn into a person in their underpants though?

[1:20:34] That's the question.

[1:20:35] That was the best part.

[1:20:36] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:37] Cause it was like,

[1:20:38] not so big now,

[1:20:39] are you?

[1:20:39] You big bull.

[1:20:40] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:40] I think they're all just,

[1:20:41] uh,

[1:20:41] monsters that have been like mutated.

[1:20:44] I don't think they're actually like humans that have become monsters.

[1:20:47] And that was,

[1:20:47] guys,

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:48] I want to take issue with,

[1:20:49] uh,

[1:20:49] I'm looking up on Google,

[1:20:50] uh,

[1:20:51] movies.

[1:20:51] Oh,

[1:20:51] I,

Jamelle Bouie

[1:20:52] sir,

[1:20:53] I have an answer to this.

[1:20:54] Um,

[1:20:54] it just came out.

[1:20:55] Detective,

[1:20:55] Detective Pikachu is actually pretty good.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:58] Oh,

[1:20:58] okay.

[1:20:59] Uh,

[1:20:59] now Google has a category here,

[1:21:01] fantasy movies about video games,

[1:21:03] and they have some interesting movies in this section.

[1:21:06] Beowulf,

[1:21:07] uh,

[1:21:07] Lord of the Rings,

[1:21:09] uh,

[1:21:09] Big Trouble in Little China,

[1:21:11] King Kong,

[1:21:12] the original.

[1:21:13] I don't know who's,

[1:21:14] uh,

[1:21:15] City of Lost Children.

[1:21:16] I don't know who is,

[1:21:17] uh,

[1:21:18] whose algorithm,

[1:21:19] what algorithm is making these video game movies,

[1:21:21] but okay.

[1:21:21] Oh,

[1:21:21] The Wizard.

[1:21:22] That's a movie about video games.

[1:21:23] There you go.

[1:21:24] Great movie.

[1:21:24] Sure.

[1:21:25] They visit those dinosaurs from Pee-wee's Big Adventure.

[1:21:28] They introduce the Power Glove and Super Mario 3.

[1:21:30] Oh,

[1:21:30] yeah,

[1:21:31] it's great.

[1:21:31] It's great.

[1:21:33] Hi,

S5

[1:21:36] I'm Jackie Cation.

[1:21:37] Hi,

[1:21:38] I'm Lori Kilmartin.

[1:21:39] And we have a podcast called The Jackie and Lori Show.

[1:21:42] Who are you,

[1:21:42] Lori Kilmartin?

[1:21:43] Oh,

[1:21:43] my God.

[1:21:44] So much pressure.

[1:21:45] Uh,

[1:21:45] I see,

[1:21:46] I'm a stand-up.

[1:21:46] I've been a stand-up since 1987.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:48] Uh,

[1:21:48] I'm a writer for Conan.

[1:21:50] I've written a couple books,

[1:21:51] have a couple CDs out,

[1:21:52] have a special out.

S5

[1:21:53] Who are you,

[1:21:54] Jackie?

[1:21:54] Well,

[1:21:55] I too am a stand-up comic since 1984.

[1:21:58] And,

[1:21:59] uh,

[1:21:59] I do the road like a maniac and,

[1:22:01] uh,

[1:22:02] don't have a cool writing job,

[1:22:03] but I have four albums out working on a new album.

[1:22:06] We talk about stand-up.

[1:22:07] We talk about,

[1:22:08] uh,

[1:22:08] all the different parts of stand-up comedy.

[1:22:10] So,

[1:22:11] that's The Jackie and Lori Show.

[1:22:12] And you should subscribe on Maximum Fun if you want to hear that.

[1:22:16] And I would encourage you not to.

[1:22:22] Welcome.

[1:22:23] Thank you.

[1:22:23] No problem.

[1:22:24] These are real podcast listeners,

[1:22:26] not actors.

[1:22:27] What do you look for in a podcast?

[1:22:30] Reliability is big for me.

[1:22:31] Power.

[1:22:32] I'd say comfort.

[1:22:34] What do you think of this?

[1:22:37] Oh.

[1:22:39] That's Jordan Jesse Go.

[1:22:40] Jordan Jesse Go?

[1:22:41] They came out of the floor?

[1:22:43] And down from the ceiling?

[1:22:45] That can't be safe.

[1:22:47] I'm upset.

[1:22:48] Can we go now?

[1:22:50] Soon.

Jamelle Bouie

[1:22:52] Jordan Jesse Go.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:53] A real podcast.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:57] Now we go on to,

[1:23:00] uh,

[1:23:01] the,

[1:23:02] woo,

[1:23:03] apparently on Rotten Tomatoes,

[1:23:05] the best ranked,

[1:23:06] uh,

[1:23:07] the best ranked video game movie is the Angry Birds movie 2,

[1:23:11] which seems strange,

[1:23:12] but,

[1:23:12] uh,

[1:23:13] Detective Pikachu is right,

[1:23:14] right behind it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:15] It's the Empire Strikes Back of the franchise.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:18] Finally,

[1:23:18] finally Angry Birds got serious.

[1:23:20] And,

[1:23:21] uh,

[1:23:21] they really,

[1:23:21] they had a darker story.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:24] Okay,

[1:23:25] well,

[1:23:25] the Flophouse is sponsored in part by ExpressVPN.

[1:23:31] Hey,

[1:23:31] look,

[1:23:31] uh,

[1:23:32] unless you are,

[1:23:33] uh,

[1:23:34] an essential worker,

[1:23:35] an essential worker.

[1:23:35] And if you are,

[1:23:35] God bless you,

[1:23:36] uh,

[1:23:37] stay safe out there.

[1:23:38] Um,

[1:23:39] you are probably stuck at home a lot.

[1:23:42] and not only can ExpressVPN protect your privacy and security online,

[1:23:46] but you can also use it to unlock movies and television shows that are only available in other countries.

[1:23:53] You may have run out of stuff to watch,

[1:23:55] uh,

[1:23:56] already,

[1:23:57] uh,

[1:23:57] and you can use that,

[1:23:59] uh,

[1:23:59] ExpressVPN service to change your location to almost 100 different countries.

[1:24:04] Just think about all the extra libraries you'll be able to access.

[1:24:07] For instance,

[1:24:09] outside of the U.S.,

[1:24:09] you could watch,

[1:24:10] uh,

[1:24:11] Star Trek Discovery on Netflix UK,

[1:24:13] uh,

[1:24:14] Fresh Prince of Bel Air on Netflix Australia,

[1:24:17] Black Adder,

[1:24:18] also on Netflix UK,

[1:24:20] um,

[1:24:21] all kinds of movies and television programs.

[1:24:26] So,

[1:24:27] uh,

[1:24:27] it's compatible with all of your devices,

[1:24:29] phones,

[1:24:29] media consoles,

[1:24:30] smart TVs,

[1:24:30] and more.

[1:24:31] You can watch what you want on a personal device or on the big screen.

[1:24:34] Wherever you are,

[1:24:36] if you visit our special link right now at expressvpn.com slash flop,

[1:24:41] you can get an extra three months of ExpressVPN for free.

[1:24:45] Support our show,

[1:24:47] watch what you want,

[1:24:48] and protect yourself with ExpressVPN at expressvpn.com slash flop.

[1:24:57] No one has anything to say about that,

[1:24:59] so let's move on to Jumbotrons.

[1:25:01] I think I sent you some Jumbotrons.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:03] Support our sponsors,

[1:25:04] that's what I would say.

[1:25:05] I got a Jumbotron,

[1:25:06] Stuart,

[1:25:06] do you want to go first?

[1:25:07] Do you have one?

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:07] I do!

[1:25:08] This message is for Merghan.

[1:25:11] The message is from Mert.

[1:25:13] Bwap,

[1:25:14] bwap,

[1:25:15] bwap.

[1:25:17] Introducing Dr.

[1:25:18] Last Name Withheld.

[1:25:20] I'm so proud of you for passing your dissertation defense,

[1:25:23] even if you decline to title it,

[1:25:25] Intrigues,

Dan McCoy

[1:25:26] Intrigues,

[1:25:27] Intrigues!

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:29] You continuously amaze me with your hard work,

[1:25:32] courage,

[1:25:32] and caring.

[1:25:33] I'll always be there for you,

[1:25:35] even after 10 p.m.

[1:25:37] P.S.

[1:25:38] Tacos for dinner?

[1:25:40] Okay,

[1:25:40] we end with a mystery.

[1:25:43] See,

Dan McCoy

[1:25:44] that's the,

[1:25:45] that's the extra zazz

[1:25:47] that you get with a Stuart Wellington Jumbotron read.

[1:25:51] Elliot,

[1:25:51] he set the mark.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:53] Pretty high.

[1:25:54] So let me,

[1:25:55] let me try if I can outdo it.

[1:25:56] Okay.

[1:25:58] Check out my wife's new book from Northwestern University Press,

[1:26:01] Imitation Artist,

[1:26:02] Gertrude Hoffman's Life in Vaudeville,

[1:26:05] and Dance.

[1:26:06] Gertrude Hoffman was a dancer in the gay 90s

[1:26:09] who became a vaudeville superstar

[1:26:10] and one of the highest paid entertainers in America

[1:26:13] through her innovation of bringing over popular dances from overseas

[1:26:17] before the original companies could.

[1:26:19] Sonny Stalter Pace shows how Hoffman influenced the rise of contemporary celebrity culture

[1:26:24] through performance of gender, race, and national identity.

[1:26:27] If you're interested in modernism, theater, and dance history,

[1:26:30] women, or copyright,

[1:26:32] it's a must read.

[1:26:35] So that's,

[1:26:35] that's,

[1:26:36] that's Imitation Artist,

[1:26:37] Gertrude Hoffman's Life in Vaudeville and Dance.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:39] You make fun of me as a producer sometimes,

[1:26:42] but,

[1:26:42] see,

[1:26:42] I do things like making sure to assign Elliot the Jumbotron that mentions vaudeville

[1:26:47] and Stuart the one that mentions tacos.

[1:26:50] So that's the kind of value that I'm bringing to the show as a smart producer.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:55] You're really earning that $400,000 a year producing bonus.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:01] Look guys,

[1:27:02] I took over the board fair and square so I can vote myself whatever I,

[1:27:09] okay,

[1:27:10] anyway,

[1:27:10] that bit has petered out,

[1:27:12] so let's go on to one more thing in this section,

[1:27:15] which is to remind listeners that MaxFun is running a survey to help figure out which advertisers are a good fit for our audience.

[1:27:22] We are still primarily audience supported,

[1:27:25] and,

[1:27:25] you know,

[1:27:27] we realize that times are tough right now.

[1:27:29] We appreciate anyone who is supporting us,

[1:27:31] and we will always continue to be audience supported,

[1:27:35] but advertising can be a big help,

[1:27:37] especially right now.

[1:27:39] The results of the survey will help us talk to new advertisers,

[1:27:42] convince them to give us a shot.

[1:27:44] It's short,

[1:27:44] shouldn't take more than 10 minutes,

[1:27:46] and you'll get a discount at the MaxFun store for filling it out,

[1:27:50] as well as our gratitude.

[1:27:52] So go to MaximumFun.org

[1:27:54] slash

[1:27:55] add survey

[1:27:56] to fill it out.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:58] I filled out that survey as a MaxFun listener,

[1:28:01] and I enjoyed it,

[1:28:02] but I also like filling out surveys.

[1:28:05] It makes me feel important.

[1:28:07] Oh,

[1:28:07] they care what I think?

[1:28:08] Yeah,

[1:28:08] sure,

[1:28:09] monetize this,

[1:28:09] please.

[1:28:11] Okay,

[1:28:11] so,

Dan McCoy

[1:28:12] we've bored Jamel long enough,

[1:28:14] so let's move on to a non-businessy section of recording the podcast.

[1:28:18] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:19] that's usually what you would say when we would end the show and let him go,

[1:28:22] finally,

[1:28:22] for the day.

[1:28:23] You're like,

[1:28:23] we've bored Jamel long enough.

[1:28:24] Let's do 30 more minutes of the show.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:27] He's like,

[1:28:28] please,

[1:28:28] let me go back to my wife and darling child that we've seen in the background running around.

[1:28:34] No,

[1:28:35] but we have to do letters first.

[1:28:37] This first letter is from John Lastnamewithheld.

[1:28:41] It's titled

[1:28:42] From Cincinnati.

[1:28:43] A Worthless Peter Rieger story.

[1:28:46] Love it already.

[1:28:47] Dear Flophouse,

[1:28:48] you guys were talking about Peter Rieger in the Oscar episode,

[1:28:51] and I wanted to share my Peter Rieger anecdote.

[1:28:54] When I was a kid,

[1:28:55] around 1994,

[1:28:57] my mom had heard they were filming something a few blocks away from my house in Portland,

[1:29:03] Oregon,

[1:29:04] and that Peter Rieger was in it.

[1:29:06] Mom loved Peter Rieger because local hero is her and dad's favorite movie.

[1:29:11] I remember that Jane Curtin was also filming in this thing,

[1:29:15] and my IMDb sleuthing tells me it was the pilot episode of Mystery Dance.

[1:29:22] Anyway,

[1:29:23] we rode our bikes to set.

[1:29:24] I got to meet...

[1:29:25] Wait,

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:25] Dan,

[1:29:25] I like the...

[1:29:26] It's Peter Rieger.

[1:29:27] They love.

[1:29:27] They love local hero.

[1:29:28] Here's their favorite.

[1:29:29] Jane Curtin was also there.

[1:29:31] What a...

[1:29:31] It's just...

[1:29:32] What a snub to Jane Curtin.

Dan McCoy

[1:29:34] Not the Kate and Allie fan that they are the local hero fan.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:39] They like Kate,

[1:29:40] but not Allie.

[1:29:41] Which was which on that show?

Dan McCoy

[1:29:42] I don't know.

[1:29:44] That's a show that I watched.

[1:29:45] I remember watching it as like a young child,

[1:29:48] and it's one of those ones where I like...

[1:29:50] The premise didn't seem like targeted at me.

[1:29:55] No,

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:55] I don't think you were...

[1:29:56] I used to watch it every day in syndication,

[1:29:58] and to this day,

[1:29:59] the only episode I remember is the flashback episode

[1:30:02] that was just them recapping scenes from previous episodes.

[1:30:06] I mean,

[1:30:06] like,

[1:30:06] hey,

[1:30:07] remember when...

[1:30:08] But I,

[1:30:08] as a kid,

[1:30:09] I think I don't remember what the premise was.

[1:30:11] As a kid,

[1:30:11] I just assumed they were married.

[1:30:12] I assumed they were lesbians who were married.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:14] No,

[1:30:15] there were two...

[1:30:16] That would...

[1:30:17] That would probably have been a better show,

[1:30:20] but there were two divorcees who were,

[1:30:23] you know,

[1:30:25] living together,

[1:30:26] moved their families in together.

[1:30:28] Anyway.

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:29] Yeah,

[1:30:29] that doesn't sound targeted to you,

[1:30:31] and that usually makes you pretty angry

[1:30:32] based on your letterbox reviews,

[1:30:34] right?

[1:30:34] When the media isn't targeted toward you.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:37] Shut up.

[1:30:39] I'm just often astounded

[1:30:41] by the things I watched as a kid

[1:30:43] just because they're on TV

[1:30:44] when they're not things that,

[1:30:46] like,

[1:30:46] my life experience at that time

[1:30:48] as a child would have set me up to enjoy.

[1:30:50] I've often said

[1:30:50] the show,

[1:30:52] Dear John,

[1:30:53] with Judd Hirsch,

[1:30:54] about a very sad man

[1:30:56] recovering from his divorce.

[1:30:58] You know,

[1:30:58] maybe today it would have...

[1:31:00] I mean,

[1:31:00] like,

[1:31:00] I'm not sad anymore,

[1:31:02] but, like,

[1:31:02] a few years ago,

[1:31:03] it may have spoken to me very well,

[1:31:05] but right now...

[1:31:06] But as a kid,

[1:31:08] I don't know what I saw on that show.

[1:31:11] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:11] the fact that as a kid,

[1:31:13] my favorite things to watch were

[1:31:14] Gremlins 2,

[1:31:16] Golden Girls,

[1:31:17] and Empty Nest.

[1:31:18] It was like,

[1:31:18] I was either watching

[1:31:19] the Golden Girls Empty Nest Hour,

[1:31:21] or I was watching Gremlins 2,

[1:31:22] or The Dark Crystal,

[1:31:23] and for some reason,

[1:31:23] those were equivalent levels

[1:31:25] of entertainment to me.

[1:31:26] I mean,

[1:31:27] that's sort of the magic

Jamelle Bouie

[1:31:28] of, like,

[1:31:29] the age of cable

[1:31:30] and just, like,

[1:31:31] TVs on,

[1:31:32] whatever it's on.

[1:31:33] As a kid,

[1:31:34] you kind of stumble on the stuff

[1:31:35] that makes no sense

[1:31:37] for a child to watch,

[1:31:38] but some kids

[1:31:39] are really taken with it.

[1:31:41] So, like,

[1:31:41] when I was,

[1:31:41] you know,

[1:31:42] 10 or 11,

[1:31:43] I watched all of MASH

[1:31:45] because it came on

[1:31:46] on TV land

[1:31:48] right before I went to bed.

[1:31:50] And so I ended up

[1:31:51] just, like,

[1:31:52] over the course of two years,

[1:31:53] like,

[1:31:53] watching most of that series.

[1:31:56] And on Saturdays,

[1:31:58] I think there was a,

[1:31:59] it was like a two-hour-long block

[1:32:01] or an hour and a half

[1:32:02] or whatever,

[1:32:03] and it was designing women

[1:32:04] and then in the heat of the night.

[1:32:06] And so I, like,

[1:32:06] watched those

[1:32:07] every Saturday.

[1:32:10] That's can't miss television,

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:11] you know?

[1:32:12] Our kids will never know that

[1:32:13] because my son,

[1:32:14] he's just like,

[1:32:15] Newsies,

[1:32:15] put it on.

[1:32:16] And he can just watch Newsies

[1:32:17] whenever.

[1:32:18] So he's never gonna have to know

[1:32:19] what it's like to be like,

[1:32:20] what's on television?

[1:32:21] I guess it's what's going

[1:32:22] in my face right now.

[1:32:24] Yeah,

[1:32:24] this syndicated show

[1:32:25] from when I,

[1:32:26] from before I was born,

[1:32:27] you know?

[1:32:27] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:28] Wow.

[1:32:29] He'll never know the joy

[1:32:30] of WKRP in Cincinnati.

[1:32:32] Mm-hmm.

[1:32:33] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:33] nobody will

[1:32:34] because they can't release

[1:32:35] the original episodes

Dan McCoy

[1:32:35] because the music clearance rights.

[1:32:37] It's a shame

[1:32:37] because that's actually

[1:32:38] a very,

[1:32:38] very funny show.

[1:32:40] Anyway,

[1:32:41] anyway,

[1:32:42] we rode our bikes to set.

[1:32:43] I got to meet Peter Riegert

[1:32:45] and this lady

[1:32:45] who my mom thought

[1:32:46] was Jane Curtin.

[1:32:48] Peter Riegert

[1:32:49] was super cool

[1:32:51] and talked to my mom

[1:32:52] and I for about 10 minutes

[1:32:53] and even signed

[1:32:53] my baseball glove.

[1:32:54] I've been a big fan

[1:32:55] of his ever since

[1:32:56] and have always been delighted

[1:32:58] when he pops up and stuff.

[1:33:00] I still have that

[1:33:01] baseball glove somewhere,

[1:33:03] though the autograph

[1:33:03] has likely faded.

[1:33:05] Oh,

[1:33:05] and it turns out

[1:33:06] that wasn't Jane Curtin.

[1:33:08] Thanks for the laughs

[1:33:09] and keep on flopping

[1:33:10] John Lasting with help.

[1:33:11] So a double insult

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:12] to Jane Curtin.

[1:33:13] Yeah,

[1:33:13] usually when you say

[1:33:14] a person that I thought

[1:33:15] was so-and-so,

[1:33:16] the implication is pretty clear

[1:33:17] that it wasn't that person.

[1:33:19] Yeah.

[1:33:19] It's never like,

[1:33:20] and then I ran into someone

[1:33:21] I was pretty sure

[1:33:22] was Arnold Schwarzenegger

[1:33:23] and it was.

[1:33:25] Well,

Dan McCoy

[1:33:26] also,

[1:33:27] I tipped the twist ending

[1:33:29] by really punching

[1:33:30] that I thought

[1:33:31] was Jane Curtin

[1:33:32] because I knew

[1:33:33] the end of the beginning.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:35] So how much do you think

[1:33:36] a baseball glove

[1:33:36] signed by Peter Rehurt

[1:33:37] would go for?

[1:33:38] Because again,

[1:33:38] he's not a baseball player.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:39] You know,

[1:33:40] almost $25.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:43] But at that point,

[1:33:43] are you paying for the autograph

[1:33:44] or for the quality

[1:33:45] of the baseball glove?

[1:33:46] Yeah,

[1:33:46] that's a good question.

Jamelle Bouie

[1:33:49] Sometimes you meet a celebrity

[1:33:51] and you just need to sign something.

[1:33:53] I have a friend

[1:33:54] who when we were in college,

[1:33:56] George Clinton was performing

[1:33:57] and signing records

[1:33:58] at the bookstore

[1:33:59] and she went

[1:34:00] and didn't have

[1:34:01] a George Clinton record

[1:34:01] but had a copy

[1:34:02] of the Wealth of Nations on her.

[1:34:04] So she has a

[1:34:05] George Clinton signed copy

[1:34:07] of Adam Smith's

[1:34:08] The Wealth of Nations.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:09] That's even better

[1:34:10] than my copy

[1:34:11] of Elmer Gantry

[1:34:11] signed by Neil Gaiman

[1:34:12] because that was the book

[1:34:13] I had on me at the time.

[1:34:15] Maybe George Clinton

[1:34:16] did write Wealth of Nations.

[1:34:18] I mean,

[1:34:18] it's possible.

[1:34:19] But there's time travel involved.

Jamelle Bouie

[1:34:21] Time travel.

[1:34:23] Adam Smith

[1:34:24] notably wrote about

[1:34:26] funk

[1:34:27] and

[1:34:27] the

[1:34:28] invisible hand of funk.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:32] Right,

[1:34:32] that's right.

[1:34:32] Yeah.

[1:34:34] I'm glad

[1:34:35] Jamel said funk

[1:34:36] because I'll admit

[1:34:38] that I

[1:34:39] spaced out for a moment

[1:34:40] and I came back in

[1:34:41] and I'm like,

[1:34:42] wait,

[1:34:42] are we talking about

[1:34:42] Parliament and Funkadelic

[1:34:43] George Clinton?

[1:34:44] What's going on?

Jamelle Bouie

[1:34:46] No,

[1:34:46] we're talking about

[1:34:47] New York governor

[1:34:48] in the 1790s

[1:34:49] George Clinton.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:50] Okay.

[1:34:51] Who also was very funky.

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:53] And that's a valuable

[1:34:54] autograph

[1:34:54] because you can't

[1:34:56] get that anymore.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:57] Yeah,

[1:34:57] yeah,

[1:34:57] very much.

[1:34:58] He came after

[1:34:59] New York governor

[1:35:00] Bootsy Throckmorton.

[1:35:04] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:06] This second

[1:35:07] and final letter

[1:35:07] is from

[1:35:08] Tony LastnameWithheld

[1:35:10] who writes,

[1:35:11] Hey Flop Crew.

[1:35:12] You know what's interesting

[1:35:13] about Tony

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:13] is his middle name

[1:35:14] is Tony

[1:35:14] and his last name

[1:35:15] is Tony

[1:35:15] but they're all

[1:35:16] spelled differently.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:17] That is interesting.

[1:35:18] My friends and I

[1:35:19] just started a movie group

[1:35:21] so we can connect

[1:35:22] with each other

[1:35:22] during this time.

[1:35:24] Do you have any tips

[1:35:25] for engaging

[1:35:26] conversation on movies?

[1:35:28] Are there any

[1:35:28] thought-provoking

[1:35:29] questions you rely on?

[1:35:33] I don't

[1:35:34] I don't have a good one here

[1:35:36] other than like

[1:35:37] I do think it's interesting

[1:35:39] to sort of

[1:35:41] look at

[1:35:42] the individual elements

[1:35:44] of a movie.

[1:35:45] You know,

[1:35:46] direction versus

[1:35:47] writing versus

[1:35:49] acting versus

[1:35:50] look of a film

[1:35:51] even though they're all

[1:35:52] so deeply interconnected

[1:35:53] you don't want to

[1:35:54] separate them

[1:35:55] completely.

[1:35:57] It's a way that you

[1:35:58] can kind of talk

[1:35:58] about movies

[1:35:59] without just

[1:36:00] saying I liked it

[1:36:01] or I didn't like it

[1:36:02] because there

[1:36:02] there may be

[1:36:04] you know

[1:36:04] mixed elements in it

[1:36:05] that you like

[1:36:06] or dislike

[1:36:06] but I would say

[1:36:08] maybe put a little

[1:36:10] effort into

[1:36:10] researching

[1:36:11] what different

[1:36:13] people are

[1:36:14] are into

[1:36:17] or like

[1:36:17] what they do

[1:36:18] on a movie

[1:36:19] because

[1:36:19] this is a weird

[1:36:20] like personal

[1:36:21] pet peeve

[1:36:22] but I often

[1:36:23] find people

[1:36:24] like complaining

[1:36:26] they think

[1:36:26] are too long

[1:36:28] and being like

[1:36:29] oh they needed

[1:36:30] a good editor

[1:36:31] on this movie

[1:36:31] I'm like

[1:36:32] that's really

[1:36:33] like a screenplay

[1:36:34] problem

[1:36:35] compounded by

[1:36:36] the director

[1:36:36] not knowing

[1:36:37] what to cut

[1:36:38] after seeing

[1:36:40] the screenplay

[1:36:41] shot

[1:36:41] like the editor

[1:36:42] is not

[1:36:43] like necessarily

[1:36:44] making decisions

[1:36:45] on like

[1:36:46] like oh

[1:36:47] let's just

[1:36:48] cut out this

[1:36:49] entire subplot

[1:36:49] unless he's

[1:36:50] like making

[1:36:51] Annie Hall

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:52] so unless

[1:36:53] unless the editor

[1:36:54] is Ralph Rosenblum

[1:36:55] you do not

[1:36:55] it's probably

[1:36:56] not in his

[1:36:57] purview

Dan McCoy

[1:36:57] yeah

[1:36:58] well I'm

[1:36:58] I guess

[1:36:59] I'm making

[1:37:00] assumptions

[1:37:01] about what

[1:37:01] the audience

[1:37:02] knows

[1:37:02] but like

[1:37:02] that movie

[1:37:04] was vastly

[1:37:04] different

[1:37:05] and Woody Allen

[1:37:07] was a

[1:37:08] nation filmmaker

[1:37:10] at that time

[1:37:10] and didn't

[1:37:11] quite know

[1:37:12] how to

[1:37:12] do it

[1:37:13] and so

[1:37:13] a lot

[1:37:14] of that

[1:37:14] film

[1:37:14] was made

[1:37:14] in the

[1:37:15] editing

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:15] you've read

[1:37:16] his book

[1:37:16] right

[1:37:17] yes

[1:37:18] when the

[1:37:18] shooting

[1:37:18] stops

[1:37:19] the

[1:37:19] cutting

[1:37:19] begins

[1:37:19] it's a

[1:37:20] great book

[1:37:20] but it's

[1:37:21] like

[1:37:21] it's

[1:37:22] it's kind

[1:37:22] of funny

[1:37:22] because it's

[1:37:23] also like

[1:37:23] and here's

[1:37:23] another story

[1:37:24] about a

[1:37:24] movie I

[1:37:25] saved

[1:37:25] yeah

[1:37:26] that's

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:30] cool

[1:37:30] yeah I

[1:37:30] feel like

[1:37:31] I mean

[1:37:32] I would say

[1:37:33] do something

[1:37:34] like what

[1:37:34] our buddies

[1:37:34] over at

[1:37:35] Blank Check

[1:37:35] do which

[1:37:36] is you

[1:37:37] can always

[1:37:37] look at

[1:37:37] a movie

[1:37:38] in the

[1:37:38] context

[1:37:39] of when

[1:37:40] it was

[1:37:40] released

[1:37:40] and what

[1:37:41] other movies

[1:37:42] came out

[1:37:42] around the

[1:37:42] same time

[1:37:43] and I

[1:37:43] think it

[1:37:44] I think

[1:37:44] that leads

[1:37:45] some kind

[1:37:45] of fun

[1:37:45] conversation

[1:37:46] but that

[1:37:48] might that

[1:37:48] might just

[1:37:49] be for

[1:37:49] you know

[1:37:50] movie nerds

Dan McCoy

[1:37:51] well and

[1:37:52] also like

[1:37:53] where it

[1:37:53] falls in

[1:37:54] that

[1:37:55] filmmakers

[1:37:55] oeuvre

[1:37:57] to use

[1:37:58] an annoying

[1:37:59] word

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:59] I would say

[1:38:01] I don't have

[1:38:01] any thought

[1:38:02] broken questions

[1:38:02] but I would

[1:38:03] say a tip

[1:38:04] for engaging

[1:38:04] in conversation

[1:38:05] on movies

[1:38:05] is to

[1:38:06] avoid

[1:38:07] too definitive

[1:38:09] statements

[1:38:10] about things

[1:38:11] that are

[1:38:11] matters of

[1:38:11] taste

[1:38:12] not being

[1:38:12] like

[1:38:13] this was

[1:38:13] the worst

[1:38:13] movie

[1:38:14] or this

[1:38:14] was the

[1:38:14] best

[1:38:15] movie

[1:38:15] or like

[1:38:16] this is

[1:38:16] anyone who

[1:38:17] likes this

[1:38:17] is dumb

[1:38:18] or like

[1:38:18] you liked

[1:38:19] it so

[1:38:19] you're

[1:38:19] dumb

[1:38:20] like

[1:38:20] to just

[1:38:21] go into

[1:38:21] it and be

[1:38:21] ready to

[1:38:22] you piece

[1:38:23] of shit

[1:38:24] you get

[1:38:24] it get

[1:38:24] the fuck

[1:38:25] out of

[1:38:25] here

[1:38:25] like that's

[1:38:26] not a

[1:38:26] polite way

[1:38:27] to talk

[1:38:27] but this

[1:38:28] to go

[1:38:29] into it

[1:38:29] kind of

[1:38:30] being open

[1:38:31] about like

[1:38:31] if I like

[1:38:32] a thing

[1:38:32] and someone

[1:38:32] else doesn't

[1:38:33] like it

[1:38:33] that's okay

[1:38:34] if they

[1:38:34] like it

[1:38:35] and I

[1:38:35] don't

[1:38:35] like it

[1:38:35] that's

[1:38:36] okay

[1:38:36] and I

[1:38:36] want to

[1:38:37] talk to

[1:38:37] them and

[1:38:37] find out

[1:38:38] why they

[1:38:38] felt this

[1:38:39] way or

[1:38:39] why I

[1:38:39] felt this

[1:38:40] way

[1:38:40] without it

[1:38:40] becoming

[1:38:41] a battle

[1:38:41] unless your

[1:38:42] relationship

[1:38:43] with your

[1:38:43] friends is

[1:38:43] you like

[1:38:43] to argue

[1:38:44] with them

[1:38:44] I like

[1:38:44] there are

[1:38:45] certain

[1:38:45] friends of

[1:38:45] mine that

[1:38:46] I like

[1:38:46] to argue

[1:38:46] with

[1:38:47] but you

[1:38:48] kind of

[1:38:48] have to

[1:38:48] know

[1:38:48] how to

[1:38:49] keep in

[1:38:49] your mind

[1:38:50] in certain

[1:38:50] bounds

[1:38:50] of like

[1:38:51] I respect

[1:38:52] these people

[1:38:52] and I respect

[1:38:53] their taste

[1:38:53] so if we

[1:38:53] disagree

[1:38:54] that's okay

[1:38:55] and I don't

[1:38:55] want to go

[1:38:56] too far

[1:38:56] in what

[1:38:56] I'm saying

Dan McCoy

[1:38:57] well also

[1:38:58] just knowing

[1:38:59] that like

[1:38:59] a matter

[1:38:59] of taste

[1:39:00] is often

[1:39:01] informed by

[1:39:02] the perspective

[1:39:04] of the person

[1:39:04] which is often

[1:39:05] informed by

[1:39:05] like the

[1:39:07] life that

[1:39:07] they have

[1:39:08] led

[1:39:09] which for

[1:39:10] instance

[1:39:10] you know

[1:39:11] if I talk

[1:39:11] about a movie

[1:39:12] with Audrey

[1:39:13] like on a

[1:39:14] very basic

[1:39:15] level

[1:39:15] like she

[1:39:17] as a woman

[1:39:18] may have

[1:39:18] concerns that I

[1:39:19] don't have

[1:39:20] as a man

[1:39:20] or like

[1:39:21] you know

[1:39:22] removing it

[1:39:23] from that

[1:39:24] sort of

[1:39:25] identity

[1:39:25] like if

[1:39:26] you grew

[1:39:27] up a certain

[1:39:28] place with a

[1:39:29] certain weight

[1:39:29] like it's

[1:39:31] an opportunity

[1:39:31] to widen

[1:39:32] your perspective

[1:39:33] through putting

[1:39:34] yourself in

[1:39:34] their shoes

[1:39:35] I think

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:36] but it's also

[1:39:37] even just the

[1:39:37] fact that like

[1:39:38] I had to come

[1:39:39] to terms at a

[1:39:39] certain point

[1:39:40] with that

[1:39:40] just like

[1:39:41] big trouble

[1:39:43] in little

[1:39:43] China just

[1:39:43] doesn't do

[1:39:44] it for me

[1:39:44] but it does

[1:39:44] it for a lot

[1:39:45] of my friends

[1:39:45] and I can't

[1:39:46] it's not worth

[1:39:47] it for me to

[1:39:47] argue either way

[1:39:48] you know

Dan McCoy

[1:39:48] no no I think

[1:39:49] it's important

[1:39:49] in the age

[1:39:50] of the internet

[1:39:51] to like

[1:39:53] realize that

[1:39:54] these are things

[1:39:54] that are a

[1:39:55] matter of opinion

[1:39:56] and not a

[1:39:57] personal affront

[1:39:57] but I do think

[1:39:58] that there's like

[1:39:59] an extra level

[1:40:01] of learning

[1:40:01] that you can

[1:40:02] put on top

[1:40:02] of that

[1:40:02] and be like

[1:40:03] okay like

[1:40:03] I'm broadening

[1:40:05] like my personal

[1:40:06] perspective

[1:40:06] by empathy

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:08] oh yeah

[1:40:09] for sure

[1:40:09] I mean

[1:40:09] it's like

[1:40:10] a movie

[1:40:11] that I'm

[1:40:11] surprised

[1:40:12] hasn't been

[1:40:13] re-evaluated

[1:40:14] in some ways

[1:40:14] is His Girl Friday

[1:40:15] and I remember

[1:40:16] the first time

[1:40:17] watching that

[1:40:18] with my wife

[1:40:19] and me being

[1:40:19] like this movie

[1:40:20] is so funny

[1:40:20] you gotta watch

[1:40:21] it

[1:40:21] and she's like

[1:40:21] okay well I see

[1:40:23] this woman

[1:40:23] constantly being

[1:40:24] crushed by her

[1:40:24] husband

[1:40:25] and then at the

[1:40:25] end her dreams

[1:40:26] for her life

[1:40:27] are destroyed

[1:40:27] it's like okay

[1:40:28] well yeah but

[1:40:29] it's really funny

[1:40:30] right

[1:40:30] like it was

[1:40:31] no I've had

Dan McCoy

[1:40:32] the exact same

[1:40:33] thing with Audrey

[1:40:34] who likes the movie

[1:40:35] who thinks it's

[1:40:35] very funny

[1:40:36] but is also like

[1:40:37] but he's

[1:40:38] he's a monster

[1:40:39] horrible to her

[1:40:40] and we had a

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:43] similar experience

[1:40:44] with I spit

[1:40:44] on my grave

[1:40:44] but anyway

[1:40:45] so Jamel

[1:40:45] do you have

[1:40:46] any tips

[1:40:46] about

[1:40:46] wait

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:47] wait I spit

[1:40:48] on my own

[1:40:48] grave

[1:40:49] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:50] oh yeah

[1:40:51] I guess it's

[1:40:51] I spit

[1:40:51] on your grave

[1:40:52] you wouldn't

[1:40:52] want to spit

[1:40:53] on your own

[1:40:53] grave

[1:40:53] except there's a

[1:40:55] we call

[1:40:55] I spit

[1:40:55] on my grave

[1:40:56] where someone

[1:40:56] has to get

[1:40:57] revenge on

[1:40:57] themselves

[1:40:58] now Jamel

Dan McCoy

[1:40:59] I know

[1:40:59] I follow you

[1:41:00] on Letterboxd

[1:41:01] so I know

[1:41:02] that you are

[1:41:03] both a

[1:41:04] a great fan

[1:41:06] of movies

[1:41:06] and an

[1:41:07] incisive

[1:41:08] writer about

[1:41:08] them

[1:41:09] what do you

[1:41:09] have to say

[1:41:09] about this

Jamelle Bouie

[1:41:10] I mean I

[1:41:12] guess

[1:41:12] when I'm like

[1:41:13] talking to

[1:41:14] if I'm like

[1:41:14] at a party

[1:41:15] and talking

[1:41:16] or you know

[1:41:16] in the before

[1:41:17] times when

[1:41:18] there were

[1:41:18] still parties

[1:41:18] when I was

[1:41:20] at them

[1:41:20] and movies

[1:41:21] came up

[1:41:21] should I not

[1:41:23] date the podcast

[1:41:24] like that

[1:41:24] oh parties

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:25] oh parties

[1:41:26] wait hold on

[1:41:28] I'm sorry

[1:41:29] what is a

[1:41:29] par

[1:41:30] tea

[1:41:31] you weren't

[1:41:34] going to parties

[1:41:34] even the before

[1:41:35] time

[1:41:36] no that's true

[1:41:36] I wasn't

[1:41:37] or if I went

[1:41:38] there I would

[1:41:38] leave as quickly

[1:41:38] as possible

[1:41:39] which for me

[1:41:39] was very

[1:41:40] it took a long

[1:41:40] time to leave

[1:41:41] them

[1:41:41] but my wife

[1:41:42] would always

[1:41:43] be like

[1:41:43] okay we want

[1:41:44] to leave in

[1:41:45] like an hour

[1:41:45] start saying

[1:41:46] goodbye to

[1:41:46] people

[1:41:46] yeah

[1:41:48] but

[1:41:49] how would

[1:41:50] you talk

[1:41:51] to people

Jamelle Bouie

[1:41:51] I look for

[1:41:52] stuff that

[1:41:52] I'm very

[1:41:53] enthusiastic

[1:41:53] about in a

[1:41:54] movie

[1:41:54] and sort of

[1:41:55] just like

[1:41:55] talk about

[1:41:55] that

[1:41:56] I you know

[1:41:56] if

[1:41:57] I find that

[1:41:58] trying to have

[1:41:59] a conversation

[1:41:59] about something

[1:42:00] unless

[1:42:00] both people

[1:42:01] agree that

[1:42:02] the thing

[1:42:03] is bad

[1:42:03] or whatever

[1:42:04] it's

[1:42:04] I think

[1:42:04] it's kind

[1:42:05] of difficult

[1:42:05] to have

[1:42:06] a negative

[1:42:07] discussion

[1:42:07] but to say

[1:42:08] like oh

[1:42:09] you know

[1:42:09] have you seen

[1:42:09] this movie

[1:42:10] or we saw

[1:42:11] this movie

[1:42:12] and this is

[1:42:12] this element

[1:42:13] of the movie

[1:42:13] I really liked

[1:42:14] and here's why

[1:42:15] I in my

[1:42:17] experience

[1:42:17] can get people

[1:42:18] talking either

[1:42:19] because they

[1:42:19] disagree or

[1:42:20] they agree

[1:42:20] or they can

[1:42:21] think of other

[1:42:21] similar examples

[1:42:22] you know

[1:42:22] getting people

[1:42:23] to be enthusiastic

[1:42:25] tends to

[1:42:26] in my experience

[1:42:27] leads to pretty

[1:42:27] good conversation

[1:42:28] that's a good

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:29] idea

[1:42:30] yeah I'm

[1:42:30] with you

[1:42:30] I mean yeah

[1:42:31] it's all about

[1:42:32] like trying to

[1:42:33] find something

[1:42:34] people are excited

[1:42:34] about and actually

[1:42:35] want to talk

[1:42:36] about

[1:42:36] I find like

[1:42:38] when I'm bartending

[1:42:39] I'm always like

[1:42:40] trying to

[1:42:41] you know I'm

[1:42:41] trying to find

[1:42:42] things to talk

[1:42:42] to people about

[1:42:43] and I'm like

[1:42:43] I stopped

[1:42:44] saying got any

[1:42:46] plans for the

[1:42:47] weekend because

[1:42:47] I got tired

[1:42:48] of being like

[1:42:48] oh uh

[1:42:49] no huh

[1:42:50] just this huh

[1:42:52] okay

[1:42:52] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:54] you're bartending

[1:42:56] you're like

[1:42:56] so things

[1:42:57] going great

[1:42:57] and the

[1:42:59] customer's like

[1:43:00] no

Dan McCoy

[1:43:00] be like a

[1:43:01] steward

[1:43:01] remember to

[1:43:03] ask people

[1:43:04] about themselves

[1:43:05] not like a

[1:43:05] Dan who is

[1:43:06] interested in

[1:43:07] other people

[1:43:07] but forgets

[1:43:08] to do that

[1:43:08] very simple

[1:43:09] thing

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:09] no Dan I

[1:43:11] mean you

[1:43:11] assume that

[1:43:12] people just

[1:43:12] open themselves

[1:43:13] up to you

[1:43:14] without

[1:43:14] prompting

[1:43:15] I've had

Dan McCoy

[1:43:17] this talk

[1:43:17] with many

[1:43:18] people

[1:43:19] you know I've

[1:43:20] had this talk

[1:43:20] with many

[1:43:20] people over the

[1:43:21] years like I

[1:43:21] don't want to

[1:43:22] like blame

[1:43:23] my upbringing

[1:43:24] because I

[1:43:24] have my

[1:43:25] own

[1:43:25] agency but

[1:43:27] I did

[1:43:28] grow up in

[1:43:29] a very

[1:43:30] quiet

[1:43:30] midwestern

[1:43:31] home where

[1:43:31] asking people

[1:43:33] about themselves

[1:43:33] was equivalent

[1:43:35] to prying

[1:43:35] a lot of

[1:43:36] times and

[1:43:36] we assumed

[1:43:37] that if

[1:43:38] people wanted

[1:43:38] to talk

[1:43:39] they would

[1:43:39] just bring

[1:43:40] it up

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:40] now it

[1:43:42] seems like

[1:43:42] there's certain

[1:43:43] parts of the

[1:43:43] country where

[1:43:44] people are

[1:43:44] just quieter

[1:43:45] and less

[1:43:45] intrusive

[1:43:46] and the

[1:43:46] difference

[1:43:47] between them

[1:43:47] I'm talking

[1:43:48] mainly about

[1:43:48] the midwest

[1:43:49] and the

[1:43:49] northeast

[1:43:49] is that the

[1:43:50] northeast

[1:43:51] it's from a

[1:43:51] spooky point

[1:43:52] of view

[1:43:52] where like

[1:43:53] you can't

[1:43:54] if you ask

[1:43:54] somebody about

[1:43:55] themselves they

[1:43:55] may curse

[1:43:56] you because

[1:43:56] they're a

[1:43:56] witch

[1:43:57] where in the

[1:43:57] midwest it's

[1:43:58] more like

[1:43:58] it's like

[1:43:59] I don't want to

[1:44:00] I don't want to

[1:44:00] draw attention to

[1:44:01] myself I want to

[1:44:01] ask you any

[1:44:01] questions I don't

[1:44:02] know is that the

[1:44:03] case Dan or

[1:44:04] as someone who

[1:44:04] comes from New

[1:44:05] Jersey where

[1:44:05] everyone's always

[1:44:06] talking loud and

[1:44:06] wants all the

[1:44:07] attention constantly

[1:44:08] and is scarfing

[1:44:08] down pizza at the

[1:44:09] beach like am I

[1:44:10] wrong from my

[1:44:11] perspective

Dan McCoy

[1:44:12] I'm kind of

[1:44:13] baffled by what

[1:44:14] the bit is here

[1:44:16] about the witch

[1:44:17] in the northeast

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:18] I mean you

[1:44:19] gotta spend more

[1:44:19] time in New

[1:44:20] England I guess

[1:44:21] it's full it's

[1:44:21] everything everything

[1:44:22] is kind of dark

[1:44:23] and spooky and

[1:44:24] scary whereas in

[1:44:25] the midwest

[1:44:25] everyone's just

[1:44:26] kind of quiet

[1:44:26] yeah and I was

[1:44:28] really hoping that

[1:44:29] you were going to

[1:44:29] tell me that the

[1:44:29] midwest was also

[1:44:30] full of folklore

[1:44:31] uh just those damn

[1:44:34] children of the

[1:44:35] corn

[1:44:35] it's like if you

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:41] go behind the

[1:44:42] dumpster behind the

[1:44:42] Benigans you

[1:44:43] won't

[1:44:44] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:45] it's spoken like a

[1:44:47] true midwestern that

[1:44:47] you're like ah those

[1:44:48] damn children of the

[1:44:49] corn are out again

[1:44:50] don't want to make a

[1:44:51] big fuss about it

[1:44:52] just ignore them

[1:44:53] just don't walk in

Jamelle Bouie

[1:44:54] there

[1:44:54] I mean you said it

[1:44:55] like you're a

[1:44:56] farmer and they're

[1:44:57] like I don't know

[1:44:57] critters in your

[1:44:58] yard or whatever

[1:44:59] you know

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:00] they're always

[1:45:00] eating that corn

Jamelle Bouie

[1:45:01] someone get the

[1:45:03] 22 we gotta take

[1:45:04] care of those

[1:45:04] children of the

[1:45:05] corn again

[1:45:05] you're just you're

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:06] just going yeah

[1:45:07] yeah get get go

[1:45:08] to someone else's

[1:45:09] corn

[1:45:09] now the children of

[1:45:11] the corn I don't

[1:45:12] remember it well

[1:45:12] were they they grew

[1:45:14] out of corn stalks

[1:45:15] right like the husk

[1:45:15] would open and it'd

[1:45:16] be a child inside

Dan McCoy

[1:45:17] they are a sort of

[1:45:18] they're sort of a

[1:45:20] um what do you call

[1:45:21] them uh they're

[1:45:23] i don't know

[1:45:23] messianic cult uh

[1:45:25] they worship some

[1:45:27] sort of corn god I

[1:45:28] think uh and

[1:45:29] and they kill

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:31] adults yeah yeah

[1:45:32] uh and and

[1:45:33] and gettys brought

[1:45:35] them into life by

[1:45:36] opening a corn stalk

[1:45:38] and finding a baby

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:38] in there she's the

[1:45:40] one who in her lab

[1:45:41] mixed the dna of a

[1:45:42] baby and a corn yeah

[1:45:43] i mean considering

[1:45:45] how much of it we

[1:45:46] eat because of all

[1:45:47] those government

[1:45:47] subsidies i guess

[1:45:48] we're all children

[1:45:49] of the corn am i

[1:45:49] right oh shit

[1:45:51] shots fired corn

Dan McCoy

[1:45:54] industry anyway dan

[1:45:55] what do we do next

[1:45:56] on the podcast next

[1:45:57] on the podcast we

[1:45:58] recommend movies that

[1:46:00] uh we enjoyed that

[1:46:01] you know leave sonic

[1:46:03] to the kids maybe

[1:46:04] watch one of these

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:05] um now wait before

[1:46:06] before we go dan i

[1:46:07] just want to say

[1:46:08] sammy was very in

[1:46:09] was very very emphatic

[1:46:11] that he wanted me to

[1:46:12] recommend newsies i'm

[1:46:13] not going to recommend

[1:46:14] it for me but if you

[1:46:15] are you want to

[1:46:16] rec watch his favorite

[1:46:17] movie go watch

[1:46:17] newsies dan continue

Dan McCoy

[1:46:18] okay um uh i'm

[1:46:22] gonna go back uh a

[1:46:23] little bit because

[1:46:25] i've only been

[1:46:26] watching dumb stuff

[1:46:27] recently uh and say

[1:46:29] that you should watch

[1:46:31] gemini which is kind

[1:46:34] of a modern uh neon

[1:46:37] drenched like almost

[1:46:39] like mumblecore noir uh

[1:46:42] that's focused on it's a

[1:46:45] it's very female focus

[1:46:46] which is nice it is a um

[1:46:48] lola kirk plays the

[1:46:51] assistant to a woman

[1:46:55] uh an actress who is

[1:46:56] uh found murdered and

[1:46:59] the uh evidence kind of

[1:47:02] points to her but it's

[1:47:03] weirdly kind of

[1:47:04] pleasantly low stakes in

[1:47:06] that like the evidence

[1:47:07] kind of points to her but

[1:47:09] also no one seems to be

[1:47:11] that convinced it's her

[1:47:13] but she decides to solve

[1:47:15] the mystery because she's

[1:47:17] just this kind of

[1:47:18] industrious character

[1:47:19] and what i liked about

[1:47:21] it is um it looks

[1:47:22] beautiful and the but

[1:47:26] mostly the characters

[1:47:27] feel very lived in like

[1:47:29] she seems like a

[1:47:30] character that i think i

[1:47:32] know in life but don't

[1:47:34] see in the movies where

[1:47:35] she's like this young

[1:47:37] woman up and coming uh

[1:47:40] uh sort of like vaguely

[1:47:42] hipstery but not like

[1:47:43] painfully so who is just

[1:47:45] clearly comes from not that

[1:47:48] much and is working hard

[1:47:49] to uh come up in the world

[1:47:51] as this woman's assistant

[1:47:53] and um and kind of like

[1:47:57] half wants to solve the

[1:48:00] murder mystery because this

[1:48:01] woman was sort of her best

[1:48:03] friend in a way and half it's

[1:48:04] just kind of an extension of

[1:48:06] her being this woman's

[1:48:07] assistant and being like oh

[1:48:08] well this is the kind of

[1:48:09] the last thing i can do

[1:48:10] for her uh and it's you

[1:48:12] know funny and a little

[1:48:14] twisty again feels really

[1:48:17] low stakes for a movie with

[1:48:18] murder in it but uh a lot

Stuart Wellington

[1:48:20] of fun gemini now i'm

[1:48:22] confused this is the ang lee

Dan McCoy

[1:48:23] will smith movie no that's

[1:48:26] gemini man oh right right

[1:48:29] right right this is gemini

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:30] woman now this is this is

[1:48:33] gemini on the holograms the

[1:48:34] uh the cartoon about the

[1:48:35] rock band uh or a movie yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:48:39] true it's not gemini uh my

[1:48:42] own astrological sign either it

[1:48:44] is just a movie called gemini

[1:48:46] oh you're in the pocket of big

[1:48:48] star twins i see yep so who

[1:48:51] wants to go next anyone anyone

[1:48:54] anyone i'll go okay so i'm

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:59] gonna recommend a movie uh i

[1:49:00] watched a little while ago like

[1:49:02] dan but uh just because i've

[1:49:04] been so busy with life this is

[1:49:05] a movie called in the soup it's

[1:49:08] a movie from 1992 that stars

[1:49:11] steve buscemi and uh seymour

[1:49:12] cassell and it's a very very

[1:49:14] uh independent movie of the

[1:49:16] time and it feels so much like

[1:49:17] the kinds of movies that were

[1:49:18] coming out of the early 90s

[1:49:20] independent scene and steve

[1:49:22] buscemi is a screen a wannabe

[1:49:25] kind of like screenwriter and

[1:49:26] director who has written a 500

[1:49:28] page screenplay and needs a

[1:49:29] producer and for some reason this

[1:49:31] kind of like small time gangster

[1:49:33] decides that he wants to be the

[1:49:35] producer for this movie and he

[1:49:36] really believes in steve buscemi's

[1:49:38] talent as a filmmaker but uh gets

[1:49:41] him into a series of kind of like

[1:49:43] uh offbeat misadventures and the

[1:49:47] movie is kind of this uh shaggy dog

[1:49:50] story kind of a movie but i enjoyed

[1:49:52] it a lot and seymour cassell is so

[1:49:54] good in it as this character who like

[1:49:55] feels really real because he is

[1:49:57] alternately very charismatic and

[1:50:00] very strange and very at times

[1:50:02] unlikable and it's just like this is

[1:50:05] this is such a um like a complicated

[1:50:08] character but he's being presented in

[1:50:09] this movie that is a fairly

[1:50:10] cartoony movie anyway i enjoyed it

[1:50:12] it's called in the soup see if you

[1:50:13] can find it and go watch it i don't

[1:50:15] know i think it's on canopy right now

[1:50:16] stewart go i'm just signing people

Stuart Wellington

[1:50:21] now oh okay uh i will recommend i'm

[1:50:25] i'm gonna recommend a movie called

[1:50:26] wheels on meals uh and before you

[1:50:29] ask dan yes jackie chan is in this

[1:50:31] movie uh it's directed by sam oh hung

[1:50:34] uh it is about a pair of guys who run a

[1:50:39] food cart and in spain and they get

[1:50:43] wrapped up in uh some crime stuff and

[1:50:45] sam oh hung's in it and he's got like

[1:50:47] one of the all-time top 10 uh perms i've

[1:50:51] ever seen in the movie uh and it also

[1:50:54] features a ton of like you know goofy

[1:50:56] comedy a lot of great slapstick and the

[1:50:58] but with all that said it also has like

[1:51:01] some of the craziest brutal fight scenes

[1:51:04] like the final fight between jackie and

[1:51:07] uh the the like head henchman this

[1:51:10] actor i am probably mispronouncing his

[1:51:12] name benny erky does uh is is like is so

[1:51:16] intense and it's so vicious like there's

[1:51:19] like stories that there were like rumors

[1:51:22] that the two of them did not get along

[1:51:24] on set but you know of course they did

[1:51:25] because jackie chan's great um but it's

[1:51:27] uh it's like it's such a like violent

[1:51:30] sequence in a movie that is pretty light

[1:51:33] other than that uh so check it out

[1:51:36] wheels on meals

[1:51:37] jimel um we recently over over two

Jamelle Bouie

[1:51:43] nights watched barry linden uh we're

[1:51:47] kind of making our way through kubrick

[1:51:49] and i had seen a bunch of kubrick's but

[1:51:52] i'd never seen barry linden and uh my

[1:51:55] impression is that a lot of people really

[1:51:57] like it what people really hate it um i

[1:52:00] absolutely loved it it's maybe the most

[1:52:03] beautiful movie i've ever seen it's just

[1:52:04] like gorgeously shot and um every frame

[1:52:08] looks like an actual painting uh it's

[1:52:10] slow but i kind of find it uh very

[1:52:13] compelling it's the story of a uh would

[1:52:16] be aristocrat and his uh misadventures

[1:52:19] through continental europe in the late

[1:52:21] 18th century uh it's uh much more

[1:52:24] entertaining than the way i just made it

[1:52:25] sound

[1:52:26] and um uh i would uh highly recommend

[1:52:29] it i it might be my favorite kubrick

[1:52:32] this way it's a it's a it's a surprisingly

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:35] funny movie too very yeah like it's it

[1:52:38] feel it i i put it off watching it for

[1:52:39] years because i always heard about it oh

[1:52:41] it's so my dad would be like what a slow

[1:52:42] movie and i finally watched it years ago

[1:52:45] and i was like oh this movie is really

[1:52:47] compelling and it's also really fun like

[1:52:49] i laughed so hard at the end of it which

[1:52:51] is not like a it's not really a joke but

[1:52:53] there's just something about it has that

[1:52:55] kind of like like tossed off cynicism in

[1:52:59] a way i don't know like it's just it's a

Jamelle Bouie

[1:53:01] good movie maybe it might just be like

[1:53:04] the larger moment we're living in but the

[1:53:06] movie is such like a vicious skewering of

[1:53:08] uh sort of refined civilized culture um i

[1:53:13] mean sort of the the through line of the

[1:53:15] whole thing is that you know the

[1:53:17] aristocracy of late 18th century you

[1:53:19] know presents itself as being you know

[1:53:22] a courtly gentleman but the entire time

[1:53:24] they're killing each other in various ways

[1:53:26] or you know uh gambling or robbing each

[1:53:29] other blind and so you know uh it's a it's

[1:53:34] a it's a very cynical these people are

[1:53:37] monsters kind of film um and it might just

[1:53:41] be because we are living in an era where

[1:53:42] our would-be aristocrats are monsters

[1:53:44] that that really yeah yeah that that really

[1:53:47] resonates for me i hate to break it to

[1:53:50] you they're always monsters yeah yeah that

Stuart Wellington

[1:53:54] was the barry linden was one that i always

[1:53:56] put off because i assumed it was like

[1:53:58] super dry and maybe i just heard that and

[1:54:00] then i remember coming across a trailer

[1:54:02] of it and it was so like fun and funny and

[1:54:05] also like the prettiest thing i've ever

[1:54:07] seen

Dan McCoy

[1:54:07] yeah i think its reputation has like kind

[1:54:11] of uh been redeemed a bit recently but it

[1:54:15] still somehow seems to be kind of the

[1:54:17] overlooked kubrick movie and i think i

[1:54:20] also think it's very good yeah i think

Elliott Kalan

[1:54:23] it's it's better than a lot of his other

[1:54:24] ones but yeah the uh and uh for people

[1:54:28] who love candles this is the movie for you

[1:54:31] all the all the chandlers out there

Dan McCoy

[1:54:36] well okay guys um we should let jamelle

[1:54:42] get back to doing important things um

[1:54:45] whether it be writing for the times or

[1:54:48] uh actually spending time with his family i

Elliott Kalan

[1:54:51] mean anything anything other than talking

[1:54:53] to us about sonic the hedgehog is more

[1:54:55] important than that like it's and dan dan i

Stuart Wellington

[1:54:58] have to go open the takeout window at my

[1:55:00] small business dan so that's okay that's

Dan McCoy

[1:55:03] important and we also have to like steward

[1:55:06] has been a real trooper here with his bad

[1:55:08] back uh uh standing through this you guys

Stuart Wellington

[1:55:11] don't like watching me dance around in

[1:55:13] in the in my little screen i mean i i did

Elliott Kalan

[1:55:16] like it but at a certain point i forgot

[1:55:18] it was about your back and i was just

[1:55:19] like stewart must have like a live crab

[1:55:22] in his pants he's just moving around a lot

Dan McCoy

[1:55:23] uh jamal is there anything you want to

[1:55:27] plug before we go

Jamelle Bouie

[1:55:28] um read my column at the new york times

[1:55:32] shows up on tuesdays and fridays uh

[1:55:34] if sent it from a newsletter uh it's it's

[1:55:37] as time goes on that's getting much more

[1:55:39] esoteric i wrote about uh communist german

[1:55:42] refugees in the 19th century a couple weeks

[1:55:44] ago they don't really tell me what i can't

[1:55:46] write about and so i write about anything

[1:55:48] that interests me and my interests sometimes

[1:55:50] run very strange yeah i thought that one

Elliott Kalan

[1:55:53] about the the communist who became the

[1:55:56] civil war uh was he a general or was it

Jamelle Bouie

[1:55:59] yeah uh civil uh yeah so he became a

[1:56:02] general late in the war yeah i thought i

Elliott Kalan

[1:56:04] thought that like that was i thought it was

[1:56:05] a particularly fantastic one like i love

[1:56:08] how far far ranging you're you've gotten

[1:56:10] and it's really great so thank you

Jamelle Bouie

[1:56:12] thank you jamal is your is your instagram

[1:56:14] public or is it yeah no it's public yeah

[1:56:17] so if you want to my instagram uh as

[1:56:20] elliot suggested i share lots of pictures

[1:56:22] of old buildings um i like old buildings

[1:56:24] a lot uh and uh yeah so that's it's like

[1:56:28] the instagram is mostly just uh photographs

[1:56:30] to take and then the stories is uh my kid

Dan McCoy

[1:56:34] and my dog i'm well no i was gonna say

[1:56:36] there's two pleasures to your instagram which

[1:56:38] is um your photos on the main instagram

[1:56:41] are beautiful and then your stories often

[1:56:43] uh show you cooking which is my particular

[1:56:45] fascination so elliot were you gonna say

Elliott Kalan

[1:56:49] something sorry no i was gonna ask i was

[1:56:50] gonna ask one what you're cooking today and

[1:56:53] two i'm constantly also i'm like how does

[1:56:55] he find the time to be a parent and have a

[1:56:57] job and take photographs and cook i don't

[1:56:59] get it he's like some kind of sonic the

[1:57:02] hedgehog moving faster than the speed of

Jamelle Bouie

[1:57:03] light um uh the cookie thing is mostly it's

[1:57:08] just like i've been doing it for so long

[1:57:09] that i i don't know don't know how it

[1:57:11] organized my life if i weren't doing it

[1:57:13] um it's sort of like a grounding thing

[1:57:15] um but uh tonight i am making from the

[1:57:19] cookbook uh mater jaffrey uh vegetarian

[1:57:23] india uh chickpeas and a fresh cilantro

[1:57:25] sauce uh with uh dry fried okra

[1:57:29] okay somebody insert a drooling emoji

Stuart Wellington

[1:57:33] right

[1:57:34] i think we can only do emojis of hearts

Dan McCoy

[1:57:38] or people putting their fists in their

[1:57:40] hands

[1:57:40] over skype yeah skype's emoji selection is

Elliott Kalan

[1:57:43] pretty weak although zooms is worse it's

[1:57:45] just clapping hands or thumbs up and

[1:57:48] there's no way to express disappointment

Dan McCoy

[1:57:49] oh yeah well anyway uh so uh everyone um

[1:57:55] you know if you've got a little time tell

[1:57:57] people about the flop house because i

[1:57:59] think our numbers are slightly down

[1:58:00] because people are not commuting or

[1:58:02] exercising

[1:58:02] during the show's bad

[1:58:04] there's also that we have taken a real

Elliott Kalan

[1:58:08] slip in the slide and our episodes are

[1:58:09] now four to five hours long

[1:58:11] that's true

Dan McCoy

[1:58:12] uh but mostly uh take care of yourselves

[1:58:15] take care of your families um be well

[1:58:18] uh for the flop house i've been dan

[1:58:20] mccoy

[1:58:20] i've been steward wellington ellie calen over

[1:58:24] here thanks for listening

[1:58:25] i've been jamel buoy

[1:58:26] bye

[1:58:28] dan has a new career as a day trader so

Elliott Kalan

[1:58:41] he's got like three monitors up all the

[1:58:43] time

Jamelle Bouie

[1:58:43] right a big black bloomberg terminal with

[1:58:46] the text going down

Elliott Kalan

[1:58:48] exactly he's he's like guys i'd love to

[1:58:50] recommend a movie but the nikke is going

[1:58:52] crazy right now

[1:58:53] maximumfun.org

Stuart Wellington

[1:58:58] comedy and culture

[1:59:00] artist owned

[1:59:01] audience supported

Ep. #312 - Sonic the Hedgehog

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