FH Mini 11 - Score Tactics

Jesse Thorn

[0:00] Hey folks, it's Jesse, the founder of MaxFun. Since we postponed our annual MaxFun drive

[0:06] in mid-March, we have gotten a lot of questions about if and when we'd be rescheduling it.

[0:11] And honestly, we've been asking ourselves the same thing. Well, now we have an answer for you.

[0:17] The 2020 MaxFun drive will start on July 13th. That's coming up soon. We decided to have the

[0:22] drive now because it's always brought a lot of joy and excitement to our community and certainly to us.

[0:29] And to be totally honest, it's also the main source of income for some of our hosts.

[0:33] Like pretty much everything right now, this year's drive is going to be a little different.

[0:37] We'll still be bringing you very special episodes, fun community activities, premium thank you gifts,

[0:43] but we also know it's a weird time and for some folks, a really difficult one.

[0:48] Some people are in a position to become new or upgrading members. Others can't right now,

[0:52] and that is okay. We'll have ways for you to support MaxFun at every level, including some

[0:57] ways that won't cost you anything. We're also going to run the drive for four weeks instead of two.

[1:03] We didn't think it was a good time to be rushing anybody and having a longer drive lets us be a

[1:08] little more low key in our drive pitch. It also gives us more time to do fun stuff like the weekly

[1:14] live streams we'll be putting on for charity throughout the drive. Most importantly, we want

[1:19] the 2020 MaxFunDrive to highlight all the ways we support each other and our communities. We also

[1:24] want to show how grateful we are to you for making all the work that we do possible. Stay safe.

[1:32] We'll see you July 13th for the MaxFunDrive.

Dan McCoy

[1:38] Hey, baby, we're back. Hey, baby. Badder than ever. Hey, movie babies. Hey, baby beds. Hey, who loves you, baby?

[1:49] Oh, cool. It's me.

[1:51] Coach X here.

[1:52] Tely Savilas for Diners Club.

Elliott Kalan

[1:54] No, no. Tely Savilas, like you first said.

Dan McCoy

[1:57] Tely Savilas.

Elliott Kalan

[1:59] Tely Savilas, which is what? A punk name?

Dan McCoy

[2:01] Yeah. That's Tely Savilas' roller derby name.

Stuart Wellington

[2:07] Wow. It's weird that he just used his own name as a variant. It's like if CCH Pounder had her roller derby name.

[2:16] She doesn't need to change it.

[2:17] CCH Pound Her.

[2:18] Yeah, exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[2:19] Not even necessarily. Just Pounder. Already works.

Dan McCoy

[2:21] Yep. Okay. Keep all that in.

[2:25] And this is one of those minis that we do, guys, between full episodes where we talk about...

[2:32] And who are we? And what is this?

[2:34] Okay. Well, yep. Return to First Principles. You got me.

[2:38] This is the Flophouse. Normally we talk about a bad movie, but on Off Weeks we talk about whatever our heart desires.

[2:48] I'm Dan McCoy.

[2:49] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[2:51] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[2:52] So, Dan, you're saying this is one of those minis, and today we're going to be talking all about the most famous mini of all.

[2:59] That's right. Mini-Me. The history of Mini-Me.

Stuart Wellington

[3:03] And what's great is this Mini-Me episode that's a mini is brought to you by Mini's Bar, a bar that I am one of the owners of.

[3:11] And we just added some new menu items, including locally sourced frankfurters.

[3:17] That's right.

[3:17] Oh, that sounds great.

[3:19] If you are in Sunset Park, Brooklyn, and need a frankfurter, you can go to Mini's Bar, the sponsor of this mini episode about Mini-Me and Mini Coopers.

Dan McCoy

[3:28] I'm glad we could, yeah, line up minis to be a sponsor, because previously we'd been approached by maxi pads, and we all thought that would be very confusing to have that be the sponsor for a mini.

[3:38] Or Max-L tapes.

Elliott Kalan

[3:40] I wanted to call it the flop house maxi mini, but I was shouted down, shouted down at the flop house town council meeting.

[3:47] So, anyway, Mini-Me, where she was also known, Mini Pearl, was one of the great comedians of the Grand Ole Opry, appearing there and on the TV show Hee Haw over decades.

[3:57] Famous for her hat with a price tag hanging from it, which is funny, I don't know why, for some reason.

[4:02] She also ran a series of chicken restaurants.

[4:05] Chicken, you say?

[4:06] Why, yes.

[4:07] Come with me on a magic journey through the lives of our favorite poultry.

[4:10] The story of chicken begins millions of years ago with dinosaurs.

[4:15] Yes, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[4:16] So, Elliot's clearly reading from something, which means one of two things.

[4:21] Either knowing what our topic would be, he instead decided to start off with this bit that he had planned and he had notes for, or for some reason he had already been looking at Mini Pearl's Wikipedia page and decided to read off of it.

Elliott Kalan

[4:36] Both wrong.

[4:37] I looked it up after I introduced the concept, and that's just how good I am at reading things and then saying them as if I'm remembering them.

[4:43] Now, when it comes to chickens, I'm reading from something called my memory.

Stuart Wellington

[4:48] Yeah.

[4:48] You'd mentioned dinosaurs.

[4:49] Can we get back to that?

Elliott Kalan

[4:51] Dinosaurs.

[4:52] The year was 1990 or so, and a little show called Dinosaurs was about to premiere on, let's say, ABC.

[5:00] The story of Earl Sinclair, Baby Sinclair, and some other dinosaurs whose names I don't remember at the moment taught the world that, yes, you could do a Simpsons ripoff with animatronic dinosaurs, but it would not last as long as the Simpsons.

[5:13] The Simpsons still growing strong in its 57th season, while dinosaurs has long since gone extinct.

[5:19] With Flophouse News, I'm Elliot Kalin.

[5:22] Dan, back to you.

Dan McCoy

[5:23] It would be hard to overstate how hot the room is that I'm in right now.

[5:28] So it's not that you can't do this shit, but you just weigh how valuable it is.

[5:34] Just like put it on, like think of your good friend Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[5:39] Who's wilting like a sandwich in the sun.

Dan McCoy

[5:41] Yeah, and just think about whether it's worth it or not.

Elliott Kalan

[5:43] That's such a sad play, like a sandwich in the sun.

[5:47] Now, Dan, here's the thing that I would find interesting, is that I've now contributed no less than, I think, 13 ideas for what this episode could be about, and you've done nothing but complain.

[5:57] But here's what we're actually going to talk about.

Dan McCoy

[5:59] Well, because we decided ahead of time, you asshole.

[6:04] We're going to talk about music and movies.

[6:08] I mean, I think scores more specifically, probably, although I don't care.

Elliott Kalan

[6:12] Not the strip club slash steakhouse scores.

[6:14] No, but like.

[6:15] No, but.

[6:16] But.

[6:17] Well, this episode will be coming out a week roughly after, or a little bit less than a week after the passing of Ennio Morricone, one of the great, great, great, great film scoreists.

[6:28] And certainly someone whose work meant a lot to me throughout my life growing up.

[6:33] And so we were like, what about movie scores?

[6:36] Let's talk about something we don't talk about a lot on the podcast when it comes to movies, is the music that's in the movies.

[6:44] So take it away.

[6:46] The year was 1929, and people wanted sound in their movies.

[6:51] Unfortunately, there was only one way to do it.

[6:54] Hire someone to just stand next to the screen and talk all the dialogue and all the music.

[6:59] Flash forward to 1972, when the Godfather was sweeping the Oscars full of music.

[7:05] Yes, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[7:06] Speaking of people talking next to the screen, I can't remember why I mentioned this before, but one of the writers at The Daily Show currently is a man named Joe Opio, who is from Uganda.

[7:18] And he was telling me about how in Uganda they will often have, when they have movies from other lands, other places, they will have someone standing next to the screen translating it for them rather than having subtitles.

[7:36] But they will often just make something up if they think the movie is too boring.

[7:41] Or they'll just throw in shout-outs to their family and friends, and it sounded like the most awesome way to watch a movie.

Elliott Kalan

[7:47] I mean, it's a great job to have.

[7:48] I don't know if it's such a great way to see the movie, but they used to—I know with silent movies—

[7:52] No, no, no.

Stuart Wellington

[7:53] I think Christopher Nolan said that's the ideal way to watch all of his movies.

[7:57] Either that or while you're playing a video game.

Elliott Kalan

[7:59] You're not truly watching a film unless it's shot on film, and there's a man next to the screen telling you about his family and maybe just making shit up because he doesn't know the actual dialogue.

[8:10] But I know that, like in Japan, for silent movies decades ago, they used to have someone standing next to the screen who would explain the movie as it was going on.

[8:17] Because, like, Akira Kurosawa's brother used to do that, apparently.

[8:19] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[8:20] The other big thing that Joe told me is just how popular Baby's Day Out is in other countries because—

[8:26] It's huge.

[8:26] It's an enormous movie.

[8:27] Yeah, because you don't need to understand the English language to understand what's going on in Baby's Day Out.

Elliott Kalan

[8:33] Well, there is no country—there's no human culture in which babies are expected to go out on their own without adults.

[8:41] So every single human culture finds the idea hilarious of a baby having a day out, whereas Ferris Bueller's Day Off, in many countries, Ferris Bueller's are not expected to work because of the very luxurious, some would say, welfare systems that they have for Ferris Bueller's.

[8:56] So, like, Ferris Bueller's Day Off in America, it's like a day off for a Ferris Bueller?

[9:01] That's crazy.

[9:02] They have to work.

[9:02] But in Switzerland or, you know, Luxembourg, they're like, of course our Ferris Bueller's don't have to work.

[9:07] Every day is a day off.

[9:08] This movie is ludicrous.

Dan McCoy

[9:10] Okay.

[9:11] So we've learned a lot about scores today.

Elliott Kalan

[9:16] So what are some of you guys' favorite movie composers or scores?

Stuart Wellington

[9:20] Yeah.

[9:20] So when you say movie scores, we're not talking about, like, a movie like Space Jam, for instance, where there's an athletic event being played and there's a score up on the screen.

[9:29] Very good question.

[9:30] We're talking about the music that is being played throughout the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[9:33] In the background of a movie like Space Jam, which has jam in the title.

[9:37] So it's either got some poppin' tunes or they're going to put some jelly in there.

Dan McCoy

[9:41] And I assume that much like my record collection, we're going to be nerdy and separate out soundtracks and scores.

[9:51] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[9:51] We're not just going to spend the whole time talking about the Judgment Night soundtrack, which pioneered combining two great tastes, rap and hip-hop artists and metal artists at the same time.

Elliott Kalan

[10:02] Mm-hmm.

[10:04] So, Dan, how would you define a soundtrack versus a score?

[10:07] It's something I've been trying to explain to Sammy vis-a-vis the film Newsies, but you explain it.

Dan McCoy

[10:12] A soundtrack is—

Elliott Kalan

[10:14] Actually, let me go wake him up.

[10:16] Hold on.

[10:16] Let me go wake him up and bring him in here so he can hear this.

Dan McCoy

[10:20] A soundtrack is typically without lyrics.

[10:24] It is orchestral.

[10:25] Or if they have human voices, it's sort of a choral situation that underscores the action of the film.

[10:32] It's played under the action of the movie.

[10:33] I mean, I guess soundtracks are as well, but they aren't like—they're typically written for the film in a way that like soundtracks are usually a collection of pop songs.

[10:45] Although, you know, like that's not even necessarily always the case since Quentin Tarantino repurposes, for instance, old scores of other people's movies to be his score, which is like a whole nother thing.

[10:57] So, the answer—

Elliott Kalan

[10:59] So, for this, let's talk about music originally written to underscore scenes in movies.

[11:05] Yeah.

[11:05] And then we'll count them for the movies that they were originally written for.

Stuart Wellington

[11:08] So, for example, Take Control by Bobby Brown.

Elliott Kalan

[11:11] Yes, exactly.

[11:12] Exactly.

Stuart Wellington

[11:13] Yeah.

[11:13] The perfect example.

[11:15] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[11:16] There's a number of those in the Ghostbusters canon.

Dan McCoy

[11:19] To answer your question, Elliot, for me, number one with a bullet is Bernard Herrmann.

Elliott Kalan

[11:26] Okay.

[11:26] That's who I would probably say, too.

[11:28] I think his Vertigo score is possibly my favorite score written for a movie.

[11:33] Yes.

[11:33] I think that movie doesn't really work as well without that music.

Dan McCoy

[11:37] And I think that might be his best overall score in the sense of, like, all of the cues are pretty great.

[11:45] I mean, Psycho also is very, very good.

[11:49] Weirdly, my favorite—

Elliott Kalan

[11:50] Yeah, I think I would say the music to Psycho is very, very good.

[11:53] No, no.

[11:53] I was just going to say weirdly my favorite.

[11:53] Stuart, check out Dan over here.

[11:55] Wow.

Stuart Wellington

[11:56] Yeah, he's nagging the score.

Dan McCoy

[11:58] My favorite—I was just going to say my favorite single cue from Bernard Herrmann is the main title from North by Northwest, even though—

[12:07] Yeah, that's a great song, too.

[12:08] I don't necessarily—yeah, like, I would hold other full scores above that movie.

Elliott Kalan

[12:14] But that song was so good that it was included in the trailer, as music in the trailer, for Ants, written by previous mini-guest and maxi-guest Chris Weitz.

[12:23] Okay.

[12:25] Because I remember when that movie came out being like, this is a weird choice for the Ants trailers, the North by Northwest music.

[12:30] But I guess it's an adventure.

[12:31] But also, like, I used to—I love the moment at the end of Citizen Kane where, spoiler alert, the sled's going up in flames, and the music starts out low, and it's getting bigger and bigger, and then it cuts to the chimney with the black smoke pouring out of it.

[12:46] And it's like, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

[12:52] And it's very powerful to me.

[12:54] That was good music.

[12:55] Yeah.

[12:55] In a great scene.

[12:56] Iconic, some would say.

Dan McCoy

[12:57] Yeah.

[12:58] What do you got to say, Stu?

Stuart Wellington

[13:00] Yeah, I mean, to be honest, like, it's been so long since I've watched a Hitchcock movie, I can't really comment on—

Dan McCoy

[13:09] Oh, no, I just meant, you know, who you like as a—

Elliott Kalan

[13:12] I mean, he also wrote the music for Citizen Kane, Taxi Driver, It's Alive, lots of movies.

Stuart Wellington

[13:17] Obviously, obviously, gun to my head, I'm going to say Richard Band, the composer of Reanimator, Castle Freak, and—

[13:24] And brother of Charles Band, right?

[13:25] Yeah, and brother of Charles Band, the producer of those movies.

[13:28] It adds, you know, like a whimsical carnival nature to otherwise horrifying movies.

[13:36] I think he also probably did the music for, like, the Puppet Master movies.

Elliott Kalan

[13:40] I don't know.

[13:41] I feel like it's unfair because he has Band in his name.

[13:43] Of course he's going to be good at music.

Stuart Wellington

[13:45] We mentioned Morricone, and Morricone did the score for The Thing.

[13:53] So I think it would be remiss not to mention John Carpenter, who I feel like his scores are very much, I don't know, like the template of what I want in movies and my life.

Dan McCoy

[14:08] Yeah, I love the Carpenter sound, and it's funny, like, you know, like the—

[14:14] John Carpenter's movies were so influential for kind of a group of filmmakers that would have grown up near to the same time as us.

[14:25] So we are now, like, going through that thing.

[14:29] Like, when I was a kid, everything nostalgic was geared towards what boomers wanted.

[14:33] And so, like, everything would have, like, these oldies Motown songs and their thing or whatever.

Stuart Wellington

[14:39] Like in Cocktail, where the cool bartender keeps getting up on the fucking bar and dancing to, like, Moni, Moni and shit.

[14:46] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[14:47] Or, like, this is—I had to—I recently found myself on Fourth of July night explaining to Sammy what the California Raisins were.

[14:54] Oh, yeah.

[14:55] Because we were watching a Capital Fourth, and the Temptations were performing, and he loved it.

[15:00] And there was a song where it was like, oh, yeah, when I was a kid, this was a California Raisins song.

[15:03] And I had to explain to him, okay, so it started as an ad for just raisins, just for the idea of raisins.

[15:10] And they were claymation raisins that, of course, sang I Heard It Through the Grapevine.

[15:14] But then they had their own TV show where they just sang different Motown hits.

[15:18] And Danielle was like, I never really understood what the California Raisins were.

[15:22] And the more I tried to explain it, the less it made sense to me.

[15:25] It was like some sort of, like, Kabbalistic mystery where the more I tried to put words to it, the more it just turned into coils of smoke between my fingers and I couldn't grab hold.

[15:34] So—but that's—but I never put two and two together.

[15:36] That's boomer stuff.

[15:37] They're singing the songs that boomers grew up with.

Stuart Wellington

[15:38] The California Raisins, I can't—I couldn't explain it, but they certainly feel racist.

Elliott Kalan

[15:44] There's something about it that's probably racist, and I can't figure out exactly what it is.

[15:49] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[15:50] But to finish the thought—

Elliott Kalan

[15:52] I mean, they originally were the California Racist.

[15:55] And then they said, can we just make it Raisins instead?

Dan McCoy

[15:57] Yeah, not very marketable.

[16:00] To finish the—

Elliott Kalan

[16:00] Well, it was from the Racism Council.

[16:02] Sure.

Dan McCoy

[16:04] Try it, won't you?

[16:05] The thought that got derailed by California Raisins talk somehow.

[16:09] Yeah, yeah, boomer stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[16:09] When we were growing up, people wanted boomer stuff.

Dan McCoy

[16:11] Yes, but now I feel like, now that we are middle-aged men, people are catering to our nostalgia.

[16:18] And so you've seen this group of new movies that have, you know, like, these synth-wave soundtracks.

[16:25] These soundtracks that were, like, influenced by John Carpenter, influenced by, like, Tangerine Dream and Wang Chung.

[16:32] Yeah.

[16:32] And during the first wave of that, I was like, oh, great, this is my stuff.

[16:36] Like, like, The Guest or Drive or It Follows.

[16:41] But, like, the more every director does that to push my buttons or to satisfy their own love of that stuff, the more I'm like, oh, I feel so pandered to.

[16:51] I feel dirty.

[16:52] I don't like it anymore.

Elliott Kalan

[16:54] That's like, there's an episode of Stranger Things where at the end they play the Bangles version of Hazy Shade of Winter during the credits.

[17:00] And I really reacted to it because I love that version of that song.

[17:04] And it was like, I mean, the original version is great, too.

[17:06] But, and I was getting mad because I was like, television show, I am not reacting to you.

[17:10] I am reacting to this song right now.

[17:12] You did not earn this.

[17:13] Yeah.

[17:13] But it's interesting you guys talk about that.

[17:15] I was trying to think earlier today about, I was trying to come up with a list of, like, who are my favorite film composers.

[17:21] Because Morricone is certainly, possibly the top, but at least in the top three or two.

[17:28] You know, him and Bernard Herrmann are very, like, right up there.

[17:31] I was trying to think of who else.

[17:32] And there were a lot of composers where I could think of, like, individual movies of theirs that I loved.

[17:37] But I didn't love their whole oeuvre.

[17:39] And then there are guys like John Williams where, like, his work is so, like, when it's good, it's the best.

[17:46] And when it's not good, it feels like somebody imitating John Williams.

[17:50] But then he's able to, and he doesn't experiment much.

[17:53] And he used to experiment, you know, years and years ago more.

[17:55] But you guys want to hear the names I came up with?

Stuart Wellington

[17:58] Sure.

[17:58] Is it just Danny Elfman written in increasingly larger font?

Elliott Kalan

[18:02] Mm-hmm.

[18:03] I mean, Danny Elfman is on there, certainly.

[18:05] Because at his best, he's, like, he's, he, Danny Elfman is one of those guys where, like, at, when he, when, like, Beetlejuice and stuff like that was coming out in Batman, it was probably, like, who is this guy?

[18:16] And then he just kind of kept playing in that, that color tone and other people took it up.

[18:20] But, like, that Tales from the Crypt theme is amazing, you know?

[18:23] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:23] Like, the Nightmare Before Christmas music I love, but, so.

Dan McCoy

[18:26] I also, I really like his, like, maximalism, too, because I remember, like, a story about how, like, when he was asked to do the Simpsons thing, he was, they're like, just make it a theme.

[18:38] Like, you're gonna think, this is the greatest show I've ever seen.

[18:41] Like, just, like, and he's, like, he did it.

[18:43] Like, he's, like, adding crazy elements to this music.

Elliott Kalan

[18:49] The fact that it opens with, like, a heavenly chorus saying the name of the show.

[18:54] Yeah.

[18:55] But, like, so those guys, like, Franz Waxman and Max Steiner are two, like, old, old composers.

[19:04] Oh, okay.

[19:04] Max Steiner did the music for King Kong.

[19:06] Oh.

[19:06] And, like, and Akira, I'm gonna pronounce it wrong, but Ifyukube, or, who did the Godzilla, the first couple of Godzilla movies.

[19:14] Oh, okay.

[19:14] And, like, that main Godzilla theme is so amazing to me.

[19:18] Like, I don't love all of Jerry Goldsmith's work, but, like, he did Gremlins Need a Planet of the Apes, and those are both fantastic.

[19:24] And Poltergeist is a great score, too.

[19:26] I don't know the Poltergeist score that well.

[19:27] Is that, is that where they're like, watch out, it's a ghost.

[19:30] I think that's the one that goes, that's sort of like,

Dan McCoy

[19:33] Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.

Stuart Wellington

[19:39] That one?

[19:40] Like, with, like, creepy, like, kids.

[19:41] Now we got a new ringtone.

Elliott Kalan

[19:43] Yeah, just that.

[19:45] And it was weird, because I was, like, going through names, and then it was like, do I include Carl Stalling on this list?

[19:53] because so much of the scores he wrote for Looney Tunes cartoons were just him slapping together songs that Warner Brothers had in its library.

Dan McCoy

[20:00] Let's take Powerhouse and play it wackier.

Elliott Kalan

[20:03] I was reading a book about him, and they were talking about how any time a character appeared wearing red or the color red,

[20:11] he would just put in Lady and Red, like, it wasn't Lady and Red, the song we know, but another song.

[20:16] And eventually the Looney Tunes directors were like, Carl, you cannot just go for a song that has a color in the title that's on screen.

[20:25] Like, that's too lazy. Like, you can't just use it for everything.

S5

[20:28] Rocket Ship 1, this is Mission Control. Come in.

[20:32] This is Rocket Ship 1. Go ahead.

[20:34] Rocket Ship, what's your status on Max Fun Drive? Shouldn't we have seen it by now?

S6

[20:39] Sorry about that, Mission Control. Turns out I miscalculated.

[20:42] Current projected ETA for Max Fun Drive is July 13, but it looks different.

[20:50] It'll be for four weeks, so it's longer than expected, but all readings point to low-key.

S5

[20:58] Oh, that'll be good. But can you verify that there are still special gifts for new and upgrading monthly members?

S6

[21:05] Verified. Sweet gifts for new and upgrading members, plus amazing new episodes and even special weekly livestreams for charity.

S5

[21:12] Copy that. Rocket Ship, can you confirm ETA for Max Fun Drive?

S6

[21:17] 90% probability of Max Fun Drive from July 13 to August 7.

S5

[21:22] Did you say 90%?

S6

[21:25] There were a couple of decimal places and I might have carried a zero wrong.

S5

[21:28] I'm just going to pencil in July 13 to August 7. Mission Control out.

S7

[21:34] Hey, I'm Bria Grant, an e-reader who loves spoilers and chocolate.

[21:42] And I'm Mallory O'Mara, a print book collector who will murder you if you spoil a book for me.

[21:47] And we're the hosts of Reading Glasses, a podcast designed to help you read better.

[21:51] Over the past few years, we've figured out why people read.

[21:54] Self-improvement.

[21:56] Escapism.

[21:56] To distract ourselves from the world burning down.

[21:59] And why they don't.

[22:00] Not enough time.

[22:01] Not knowing what to read.

[22:03] And being overwhelmed by the number on their TBR list.

[22:06] And we're here to help you with that.

[22:07] We will help you conquer your TBR pile while probably adding a bunch of books to it.

[22:12] Reading Glasses.

[22:13] Every week on MaximumFun.org.

Elliott Kalan

[22:17] There's a movie that I'm trying to decide if I'm going to recommend it on the podcast or not.

[22:23] Called Buck and the Preacher.

[22:24] That's a movie Sidney Poitier directed that stars him and Harry Belafonte.

[22:28] And it's a western.

[22:29] And the movie is like not quite all the way there, but the score is amazing.

[22:34] So are there any movies that you guys can think of where the score is better than the movie?

[22:39] Oh, man.

Dan McCoy

[22:40] Probably.

[22:41] Well, you know what I...

[22:42] I mean, like, other than Hawk the Slayer.

[22:44] I...

[22:45] The score is...

Elliott Kalan

[22:45] With Hawk the Slayer, the score, I would list to that as just regular music.

Dan McCoy

[22:48] I just happened to be looking at the Wikipedia entry for Elmer Bernstein when you asked that question.

[22:57] And, you know, like Elmer Bernstein, of course, did these wonderful sort of heavily theme-based scores for the Magnificent Seven and the Great Escape.

[23:12] Just, like, just great scores.

[23:14] But then...

Elliott Kalan

[23:15] He did like...

[23:15] Bump, bump, bump, bump.

[23:16] Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump.

[23:18] Yeah.

[23:18] And for Great Escape, he did...

[23:19] Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

[23:21] Right?

[23:22] Yeah.

[23:22] Great, great stuff.

[23:23] Bump, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

[23:25] Now I have my ringtone.

[23:26] It's a little too jaunty.

[23:26] My ringtone.

[23:27] For a movie where people are escaping from a Nazi prison of war camp, it's a very jaunty theme.

[23:31] Well, but then...

[23:32] But I guess it's better than the original theme he wrote for The Great Escape was even jauntier.

[23:38] It went, whatever happened to predictability, the milkman, the paperboy, the evening TV?

[23:43] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[23:44] I wanted to say, though, he had, like, this sort of second life as a guy who scored comedies

[23:51] like Stripes and Ghostbusters and Airplane.

[23:56] And, like, he kind of was tapped to do that because these directors rightfully sort of knew

[24:01] that it would be funnier to put, like, a quote-unquote serious score to these movies.

[24:08] But he started on that track with...

[24:10] You asked about a movie where the score is better than the movie, and that's Animal House,

[24:15] which, you know, has a lot of unpleasant stuff in it.

[24:19] But Elmer Bernstein, like, I think it was great to hear him in all these comedies where

[24:24] he, like, lends this dignity that then can be undercut.

Stuart Wellington

[24:29] Sorry, I was just looking up who wrote the score for Police Academy.

[24:33] Oh, who was it?

[24:35] I think it's Richard or Robert Folk.

Dan McCoy

[24:38] See, that score feels like someone trying to do an Elmer Bernstein knockoff.

[24:41] Yeah, that's...

Stuart Wellington

[24:42] When you were listing those, I was like...

[24:44] I feel like that theme music has been so burned into my head from watching so many Police Academy

[24:49] movies as a kid.

[24:52] I'm surprised...

[24:53] I'm surprised we haven't mentioned Johnny Greenwood yet.

[24:56] I feel like his...

[24:56] Mm-hmm.

[24:57] For somebody working currently, he's been putting out a lot of great stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[25:02] And his stuff definitely elevates whatever he's putting the music onto, for sure.

Stuart Wellington

[25:07] Yeah, I mean, otherwise, these Paul Thomas Anderson movies would be dog shit.

Elliott Kalan

[25:11] They are...

[25:12] It's just...

[25:13] It's like, okay, let's take a bunch of people yelling at each other and a bunch of people

[25:17] just sitting staring into space, slap them together, photograph it beautifully, throw

[25:22] this Johnny Greenwood score, and there you got your movie.

[25:26] There's your PTA movie.

[25:27] What was his last movie?

Dan McCoy

[25:29] You're gonna get the internet angry at you.

[25:31] Phantom Thread.

Elliott Kalan

[25:33] Oh, right.

[25:34] I have to...

[25:34] Guys, I like a lot of his movies.

[25:36] I don't like all of them.

[25:37] I was not...

[25:37] I've never been a big mag head.

[25:39] That's a Magnolia fan.

[25:40] Well, that's a bad movie.

[25:42] Yeah, the...

[25:43] But I gotta admit, I fell asleep during Phantom Thread, guys.

[25:46] Wow.

[25:47] Do I have to give away my movie snob card?

[25:49] Oh, I really love that one.

Stuart Wellington

[25:50] Did you eat a weird omelet right before you fell asleep?

Elliott Kalan

[25:53] Yeah, I did eat a weird omelet.

[25:55] That's right.

[25:56] But I kept waiting for the guy to be haunted by that thread that he killed.

[26:00] Yep.

[26:00] That comes back to haunt him.

[26:02] Honestly, the most exciting part of the movie for me is when he orders that huge breakfast.

Dan McCoy

[26:06] And I was like, how is he gonna eat this whole breakfast?

[26:08] Oh, he's a hungry boy.

[26:11] Michael Giacchino.

[26:12] Is that how you say his last name?

[26:14] Probably.

[26:15] I want to mention him.

[26:17] I feel like he's kind of like the new John Williams.

[26:20] He's good at doing these big blockbuster films with a sense of playfulness.

[26:27] He's got a little more of the zany.

[26:29] He's like John Williams plus a touch of the zany.

[26:32] And I really like his scores in general.

Stuart Wellington

[26:35] Yeah, obviously the greatest score ever written is still the theme for Chopping Mall.

[26:40] I don't think that gets enough credit.

[26:45] That's also a nice trim 80 minute movie.

[26:48] So as soon as it's over, you just spin that fucking thing back up again, you know?

Elliott Kalan

[26:51] No, but there's one big problem with that movie.

Stuart Wellington

[26:53] It's like a grindcore record.

[26:55] What?

[26:55] There's one big problem with that movie.

[26:57] Not a lot of chopping.

[26:59] Yeah, I mean, it's robots blasting people.

Elliott Kalan

[27:01] There's no chopping in that mall.

[27:03] Where's the chopping, I say?

[27:07] I'd be remiss.

[27:09] I forgot.

[27:09] I'm watching a movie that Quincy Jones did the score for, and he did a bunch of good scores.

[27:12] His score for the Anderson tapes is really weird and neat.

Dan McCoy

[27:16] The Superfly score is a really, really great score.

Elliott Kalan

[27:19] Well, that's a great score.

[27:20] Well, that's one I was wondering.

[27:20] Does that count as a score?

[27:22] Because a bunch of it is made up of pop songs, but they were written for the movie, right?

Dan McCoy

[27:25] They were written for the movie, yeah.

[27:26] And, you know, a lot of it is songs.

[27:28] A lot of it is instrumental.

[27:29] I think, yeah, I would call it a score.

Elliott Kalan

[27:31] Well, like this, because the song Superfly itself is a great song.

[27:35] Yeah.

[27:36] And, like, Pusher Man's a really good song.

[27:38] But that's not Quincy Jones who did that.

Dan McCoy

[27:42] No, no, that's, who is that?

[27:44] That's Curtis Mayfield.

[27:45] Curtis Mayfield, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[27:46] Okay.

[27:46] For a second, I was very worried that you thought it was the same guy.

Dan McCoy

[27:49] No way.

Elliott Kalan

[27:50] And rather than just a similar-ish sounding sound in some ways.

[27:55] What's really funny is, so I looked up Best Movie Composers on Google, and a bunch of the regular faces come up.

[28:00] John Williams, Hans Zimmer, Danny Elfman with a ghoulish smile, and Ian Marconi, and all these other people.

[28:06] And then suddenly, in the middle of scrolling through these pictures, who shows up but Johann Sebastian Bach?

[28:12] Interesting.

[28:13] What films did he work on?

[28:14] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[28:15] Well, also, then you start seeing directors pop up in there.

[28:20] I did the same thing.

[28:21] And you got Steven Spielberg suddenly and Christopher Nolan.

[28:26] And it's like, I mean.

Elliott Kalan

[28:30] Well, Christopher Nolan, I think he did create Whom.

[28:33] I think that was probably, he wrote that, I think.

[28:36] Yeah.

[28:36] Here's Tchaikovsky, another one of the great film composers, Peter Tchaikovsky.

[28:41] Mm-hmm.

[28:42] Yep.

Dan McCoy

[28:43] I wanted to mention, a couple that I'm seeing coming up here that I didn't think of before is Henry Mancini and Carter Burwell, who does a lot of the Coen Brothers music.

[28:55] He's a fantastic composer.

Elliott Kalan

[28:56] And here's Lalo Schifrin, who, I guess, he's best known for his TV work.

[29:01] But he did the score for Kelly's Heroes.

[29:04] And it's a really fun score, aside from having the single, maybe worst theme song I've ever heard in a movie that I like.

[29:11] Yeah.

[29:11] It's the title song, which is not called Kelly's Heroes.

[29:14] It's called, like, Burning Bridges or Burn Your Bridges.

[29:16] It's a terrible song.

[29:17] It's so bad.

[29:18] And don't they, like.

[29:19] But the rest of the score is good.

Dan McCoy

[29:20] And don't they, at the end of that movie, play the song with, like, sort of, like, jolly, like, photos of the actors and their roles?

[29:27] Like, even, like, people who are, like, assholes in the movie.

[29:29] They're like.

[29:30] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[29:30] Well, it's just showing them enjoying themselves.

[29:31] Yeah.

[29:32] Because it's got a happy ending.

[29:33] Because they get the gold.

[29:35] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[29:36] I would say the score experience that struck me the most was when I went and saw Crank 2 in the movie theater.

[29:47] And the score for that was done by Mike Patton, the, you know, vocalist of many rock bands, including Faith No More.

[29:59] And he has done so many different things.

[30:02] And it is so perfectly unpleasant to exactly match the content of Crank 2.

Dan McCoy

[30:09] Oh, yeah.

[30:10] I mean, speaking of scores that are there to sort of disquiet and stress you out rather than anything else, I like the John Bryan score for Punch Drunk Love a lot, which has a lot of, like, just, like, thumping as Adam Sandler runs around.

[30:26] Yeah.

[30:27] A lot of thumping and tinkling.

Stuart Wellington

[30:29] And I want to mention.

Dan McCoy

[30:31] That was the name of his album, Thumping and Tinkling, Volume 3.

Stuart Wellington

[30:34] When I mention Mike Patton, I also want to, he, one of his various bands, Fantomas, put out a record.

[30:44] It's like a super group band, but they put out a record called The Director's Cut, which is just, like, remixes of classic movie and horror movie themes and stuff like that.

[30:53] If you're a fan of that sort of thing, I'd recommend checking it out.

[30:56] It's cool.

Dan McCoy

[30:57] Well, I just thought of one, too.

[30:59] Audrey and I watched Anatomy of a Murder just recently, right before it went off the Criterion channel, because she had never seen it.

[31:05] And that has Duke Ellington music as the score.

[31:10] And that was kind of like, I feel like there's this period in Hollywood where they're suddenly like, oh, yeah, we could put jazz in a movie.

[31:17] How could that be the score?

[31:18] Because Sweet Smell of a Success has a similar kind of feel to the score, and it's great.

Elliott Kalan

[31:23] But Sweet Smell of a Success is an Elmer Bernstein score, right?

Dan McCoy

[31:25] Yeah, but it's a very, like, jazzy take on an Elmer Bernstein.

[31:29] I guess that's true.

Elliott Kalan

[31:29] Well, it's because they were, look, they were going after the boomers of that day, I guess.

[31:36] The World War II generation who were like, whatever happened to the jazz I grew up with?

[31:41] I want to hear that in my movies.

[31:43] And someday, Sammy, I guess his generation, it'll be like, I want to see movies where the score is all TikTok lip syncing.

[31:51] Uh-huh.

[31:52] That'll be really pandering to them.

[31:54] And then eventually, when his kids are older, it'll be a lot of movies where all the music is played with, like, logs being thumped against boulders because society will have collapsed.

Stuart Wellington

[32:05] Oh, okay.

[32:06] That's where we're heading?

Elliott Kalan

[32:08] Well, what'll happen is when he has kids, society will have collapsed, and then it'll rebuild itself again.

[32:13] But they'll be making all these movies, and they'll be like, you know how we get those kids who grew up in the bad times?

[32:18] Yeah.

[32:18] Is we'll use just all natural instruments because that's what they're used to instead of the music that the aliens brought with us when they rebuilt our society.

[32:26] Because the alien music, you know, is all going to be like, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

[32:35] With a lot of steel drum, for some reason, inexplicably.

[32:38] Even though you don't see any of the Bith in the band, Figurin' Dan and the Modal Nodes, playing a steel drum, but there's a lot of steel drum all of a sudden.

[32:45] A whole steel drum solo, basically.

[32:47] Where's the steel drums?

[32:49] That's what they should have added in the special edition.

[32:51] I want to see me a Bith playing a steel drum.

[32:53] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[32:54] You know, what I enjoyed about that the most was, like, Stuart was in there doing his sort of usual bit where, like, he just sort of continually agrees to Elliot as he goes on a long riff.

[33:05] And he's now standing at me.

[33:06] And, but as soon as he started, you know, singing that jizz music.

[33:13] Jizz wailing music, yeah.

[33:14] Stu perked up.

[33:17] He got a little happier.

Elliott Kalan

[33:19] Because it's a great song, guys.

[33:21] Yeah.

[33:21] And I don't know why it didn't win Best Song at the Academy Awards that year.

[33:25] I'm going to find out what did win instead of Cantina Band theme.

[33:29] Uh-huh.

[33:32] Yes.

[33:32] It's ironic that, and it's ironic that years later, Max Rebo won Best Song with him and Cy Snoodles and Droopy McCool.

[33:40] Not as good a song, but I guess by then people's ears had gotten used to it.

Stuart Wellington

[33:44] Mm-hmm.

[33:45] Yep.

[33:45] People had gotten used to that style of Tatooine music.

Elliott Kalan

[33:50] Yeah, I mean, Tatooine is really where, it's really where all the hot sounds of the universe are coming out of.

[33:55] Uh-huh.

[33:55] Because it's like, it's like, um, like, Jamaica in the 60s and 70s.

[34:00] Oh, okay.

[34:01] It's kind of, and 50s even.

[34:01] It's like the place where people are just kind of playing the music that's in their blood, you know, in their bones.

[34:06] It's from real life experience.

[34:07] And it's not like studio polished stuff.

[34:09] Sure.

[34:10] And that's how you can get these hot new street bands like Figurin' to Anne and the Modal Nodes and the Max Rebo band, you know?

[34:17] Yeah, that all makes sense.

[34:18] Of course, the other thing is they're all built around, they're all built around strong band leaders who bring a singular voice to it.

[34:24] Figurin' to Anne, Max Rebo.

[34:26] Uh-huh.

[34:26] I'm sure there are other examples that I don't have at my fingertips at the moment.

[34:30] But, you know, like, uh, maybe there's a Hoth band that, you know, the Wampa and the other Wampas.

Stuart Wellington

[34:36] I mean, there is a band named Hoth.

[34:39] They're a black metal band.

Elliott Kalan

[34:42] But they don't exist in the Star Wars canon universe, right?

Stuart Wellington

[34:45] I mean, I think they might have talked about them in one of the comic books.

Elliott Kalan

[34:50] Okay.

[34:51] Fair, fair.

[34:52] Fair.

[34:52] So, anyway, original song in, uh, that year was 1978.

[34:57] Looks like the, uh, we, the winner for original song was You Light Up My Life.

Stuart Wellington

[35:02] Oh, by Max Rebo.

Elliott Kalan

[35:05] By me, it was by Max, it was Max Rebo's cover of You Light Up My Life.

[35:09] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[35:10] Yeah, that makes sense.

[35:11] That makes sense.

Elliott Kalan

[35:12] Beating the, beating, uh, Nobody Does It Better from The Spy Who Loved Me.

Stuart Wellington

[35:17] So, oh, wow, I love that movie.

[35:19] And Someone's Waiting for You from The Rescuers.

Elliott Kalan

[35:23] Oh, okay.

[35:24] Uh.

[35:24] A movie that I did not remember there being a song in.

[35:27] Nope.

[35:28] Uh, one of the things.

[35:29] And also, Candle on the Water from Pete's Dragon.

[35:31] I remember that one.

[35:31] That's right, Disney had two songs in the original song category.

Dan McCoy

[35:36] I'll be your candle on the water.

[35:40] That's how that song goes.

[35:41] Anyway, Stuart, you've been trying to say something for a long time.

Stuart Wellington

[35:43] Oh, yeah, Stuart, are you here?

[35:44] Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[35:45] Uh, I was talking to a buddy who's, uh, my buddy Harry, who's a real, uh, score freak.

[35:52] And a Bigfoot.

[35:53] Yeah, and a Bigfoot.

[35:54] And he, uh, we were talking about how it seems like a studio like A24 seems to be, uh, I don't

[36:02] know if it's on a studio level or it's just that they're giving their filmmakers more control.

[36:07] But it seems like there's, there's a lot of non-traditional composer choices.

[36:11] Whether it's like Uncut Gems, where you get, uh, where they got somebody from the, like,

[36:17] electronic music scene, uh, as well as other examples that don't immediately come to mind.

[36:24] Um, and I think that's, I think that's kind of interesting to go in a non-traditional route.

[36:30] Do you guys have any thoughts?

[36:31] Or would you rather it just be stuffy old guys composing in front of a giant orchestra?

Dan McCoy

[36:37] Uh, no, I, I, I like, I like it when that happens.

[36:41] And, I mean, I think that it's a continuation of something that started kind of to happen

[36:45] with, um, even earlier.

[36:47] I mean, like, Danny Elfman, uh, you know, started out in Oingo Boingo.

[36:52] And, uh, like, cause there's, you got someone like Mark Mothersbaugh from Devo, who's, like,

[36:57] been a composer for years now, like, uh, doing a lot of Wes Anderson stuff, among other.

[37:03] And Rugrats.

[37:04] And Rugrats, yes.

[37:06] Uh, I was gonna say that, and I'm like, is that a real fact?

[37:08] Like, is my brain playing tricks on me?

[37:11] It is a real fact, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[37:12] It'd be really funny if, like, he did write the music for Rugrats, but it was classified

[37:16] as not a real fact.

[37:19] It was like, mmm, doesn't rise to the level of importance to be a real fact.

Dan McCoy

[37:23] Yeah, but I do like, uh, getting new sounds into movies, cause, uh, you know, like, you

[37:28] get this, I feel like everything has been dominated, at least in Hollywood movies, by this kind

[37:35] of swoony romantic sound for forever.

[37:38] And, like, that, like, we talked about the music in Hawk the Slayer, and one of the things

[37:42] I loved about that was just how different it was from, uh, what we would get in a fantasy

[37:49] movie now, just because, like, everything has been so codified.

[37:52] It's like, yeah, why not have a movie that has a soundtrack that's kind of like disco-y,

[37:59] prog rock spaghetti western version of fantasy music?

[38:04] I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[38:06] Yeah, throw it all together.

[38:07] Why not?

[38:07] There's lots of great types of music out there.

[38:09] Throw them in your movie.

[38:10] Choose whichever kind you want.

[38:11] Make it just a lot of eerie scrapes and scrapes.

[38:14] Mm-hmm.

[38:14] Or make it like a lush orchestral thing.

[38:16] Or jazz it up.

[38:17] All chain rattles, yeah.

[38:18] Yeah, just, or make it that, that hot jizz-wailing sound that's coming out of tattooing these days,

[38:22] you know?

[38:23] I was trying to think, I felt bad that so many of our names that we were mentioning

[38:27] were, you know, the same type of, the same type of, uh, like, older white gentleman,

[38:34] or younger white gentleman, and I just wanted to mention that there are lots of other movies

[38:38] that have great music, I just don't know the names of the people who did them.

[38:41] Like, there's a song from the Indian movie Zanjir, that I was trying to, I was trying to explain

[38:47] it to Sammy the other day, and there's a song called Chakuturian Tez Karalo, that is,

[38:53] that I love, and it plays in my head all the time, but I do not know who wrote it, but

[38:57] the music in that movie, I like a lot, and I could look it up, but, um, actually, why

[39:02] don't I look it up?

[39:03] Okay, hold on a second.

[39:05] I realized I have the computer right in my hands.

[39:06] Hold on.

Dan McCoy

[39:07] You're really getting the, uh, internal monologue from Elliot tonight?

Elliott Kalan

[39:10] No, it was the, it was the Indian composing duo of Kalyanji and Ananji.

[39:14] Yeah.

[39:15] So, uh.

Stuart Wellington

[39:16] I can't see Elliot's hands, but I'm assuming that his hands break into a bunch of tiny little

[39:21] metal fingers like the, uh, computer guys in Ghost in the Shell.

Elliott Kalan

[39:26] Mm-hmm.

[39:26] Exactly.

[39:27] Well, it's, or it's, it's a lot like Minority Report, where I'm just, like, moving things

[39:30] around in front of me with my, with my special gloves and my hologram screen.

[39:35] Yep.

[39:35] Um, but the hard thing of that is when your kids run in and they start poking around on

[39:41] your hologram screen and moving everything around and you're like, ah, I had that organized

[39:44] just the way I liked it.

[39:45] Oh no, future crimes.

[39:46] Oh no, now Tom Cruise is guilty.

[39:48] Ah, oh boy.

[39:50] Take his eyes out.

[39:52] Well guys.

[39:52] So what was, so what happened in that movie, guys?

[39:54] Which one?

[39:54] What do you mean?

[39:55] Minority Report.

[39:56] Why did he shoot that guy again?

[39:57] Oh, Max on the side is the bad guy.

[39:59] You're right.

[39:59] Nevermind.

Dan McCoy

[39:59] Uh, so I just wanted to say, uh, you know, in the, like, let's, let's, let's keep it a

[40:05] mini this time.

[40:06] Let's keep it a mini.

[40:07] We don't have a guest.

[40:08] We're three guys who love movies, but don't necessarily know a lot about movie scores.

[40:13] Talking about movie scores.

Elliott Kalan

[40:15] We know, I would say we know more than the average person and much, much, much, much less

[40:20] than someone who really pays close attention to scores.

Dan McCoy

[40:23] Yep.

[40:24] Uh, so I just, you know, let's, let's close it up.

[40:26] Let's close up the old mini bag.

Elliott Kalan

[40:27] Wait, but we haven't even talked about the movie, The Score, which I assume has music

[40:31] in it.

Dan McCoy

[40:32] That's the movie where, uh, was it like, like Marlon Brando said something to like Frank

[40:38] Oz, like, like, like, like I'm not one of your puppets.

[40:41] You can't stick your hand up my ass and manipulate me.

Elliott Kalan

[40:44] I think that's exactly what he said.

[40:46] But the weird thing is Frank Oz then did exactly that and proved him wrong.

[40:50] Yeah.

[40:50] And much of that movie, uh, Marlon Brando's performance is Frank Oz using Marlon Brando's

[40:55] body like a puppet with his hand up his rear.

Dan McCoy

[40:58] Okay.

[40:58] Well, on that note, let's, uh, sign off guys.

[41:02] Uh, thanks for being with us.

[41:04] Uh, next week we'll be back with, uh, an actual movie.

[41:08] Uh, we, I think we decided we can start talking about what the movies are ahead of time.

[41:12] Yeah, we can say something.

[41:13] So, keeping it a damn secret all the time.

[41:16] Uh, we're going to be talking about Artemis Fowl.

[41:20] That's the next one, right?

[41:20] Artemis Fowl.

Elliott Kalan

[41:21] Artemis Fowl.

[41:22] It's a children's movie about a kid who is the, what, the son of the goddess Artemis and

[41:29] a bird?

[41:30] Uh, I can only assume.

[41:31] I haven't seen it.

[41:32] I haven't seen it.

[41:32] I know it's based on a book.

[41:34] Uh, and I think that book is, uh, Team of Rivals.

[41:39] Yep.

[41:39] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[41:41] It's, uh, To the Lighthouse.

Elliott Kalan

[41:42] Yep.

[41:43] Yeah.

[41:43] It's a, it's a kid's adaptation of To the Lighthouse.

[41:49] That would be an interesting movie.

[41:51] And I think it would go a little something like this.

[41:53] From Walt Disney Pictures comes the story of a family.

[41:57] A very special family.

[41:59] Ah, time works differently here at the lighthouse house.

S6

[42:04] Aw, Dad, are we ever going to get to that lighthouse?

Elliott Kalan

[42:06] Oh, so many things are happening in our life.

[42:09] But the house remains.

[42:11] Mm-hmm.

[42:11] And it's a heartwarming classic for families of all ages.

[42:14] See, I would.

[42:15] Walt Disney Pictures presents To the Lighthouse, starring, uh, probably Colin Firth.

Stuart Wellington

[42:20] Colin Firth, Emily Blunt, probably.

Elliott Kalan

[42:23] Probably Emily Blunt.

[42:25] And also, The Lighthouse would be voiced by Josh Gad.

Dan McCoy

[42:28] Yeah, well, that's the thing.

[42:29] I was, I was saying that you gotta anthropomorphize The Lighthouse.

[42:32] Mm-hmm.

[42:32] That's, that's number one.

[42:33] That's the number one note I would give you when you deliver the script to me.

[42:38] Uh, Mr. Disney.

Elliott Kalan

[42:41] You're Walt Disney, right?

Dan McCoy

[42:42] I am Walt Disney.

[42:42] Well, I, they unfroze me, put me on, uh, you know, like, they chose a terrible body to put me on.

[42:49] I gotta say this.

[42:50] Lumpy, aging rapidly.

[42:53] Mm-hmm.

[42:53] But I'm back, I'm back, I'm back, guys.

[42:55] Yeah, well, you shouldn't have chosen the wrong cop, dude.

Stuart Wellington

[42:58] What?

[42:58] You should have chosen the cup of a carpenter, man.

[43:01] Yeah, that's true.

Elliott Kalan

[43:02] Yeah, instead of that, instead of that gold thing that you picked up.

[43:04] That was foolish of you.

[43:05] Just the most golden cup.

[43:08] He's like, hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[43:10] Jesus was a carpenter's son in ancient Judea.

[43:13] He probably had a pretty banging cup.

[43:16] His cup was probably glitzed the fuck out.

[43:19] So, Mr. Disney, I don't want to make this any longer than it has to be.

[43:21] I know you're a busy man.

[43:22] Your head's sewn onto another man's body, and we have to finish up this mini.

[43:26] But I thought I might just throw out to you my first draft, really, of the song The Lighthouse Sings, that Josh Gad sings, in the To The Lighthouse family feature adaptation.

[43:37] Okay.

[43:39] Shut up.

[43:40] Life can be a little lonely when you're a lighthouse sitting on a rock.

[43:46] You sit there all by yourself, you're only staring inside you at the clock.

[43:52] Oh, when are they going to get to me, the lighthouse?

[43:56] When are they going to get over here to the lighthouse?

[43:59] When am I going to see?

[44:00] When am I going to be?

[44:02] When are they going to get to me?

[44:04] And so, imagine there's also a lot of goofy stuff happening on screen, you know.

[44:08] Oh, life as a lighthouse seems like it would be grand.

[44:12] Life as a lighthouse, hey, give me a hand.

[44:15] I bring the ships safely into port, but you know I want more.

[44:23] Oh, it's an I Want song.

[44:25] I see.

[44:25] When are they going to get to the lighthouse?

[44:28] I really want them to get to me.

[44:32] When are they going to get to the lighthouse?

[44:34] I've got the light that will help them see.

Stuart Wellington

[44:38] It's so crazy that Elliot had this whole thing written out before the episode.

Elliott Kalan

[44:43] This whole episode was just a long wind to finally get to the lighthouse song.

Stuart Wellington

[44:47] Elliot was dropping little seeds for me to set them up.

[44:50] I can hear.

Dan McCoy

[44:52] You know, I think Peebo Bryson will be glad to do the pop version.

[44:59] I do have a, I mean, there's some meter problems.

[45:02] The part that I was most confused about, though.

[45:03] It's a first draft, Dan.

Jesse Thorn

[45:04] It's a first draft.

Dan McCoy

[45:06] So he's looking inside himself at the clock.

[45:09] Yeah, because he's a building.

[45:10] Because he's a building.

[45:11] And the clock is inside.

Elliott Kalan

[45:12] There's no clock in the sky unless you count the sun.

[45:15] Nature's clock.

Stuart Wellington

[45:16] Which I do.

[45:18] I guess all that checks out.

Elliott Kalan

[45:20] So anyway, so then they're trying to get to the lighthouse.

[45:22] The family, they're dealing with deaths.

[45:24] They've got to get, they decide to go to the lighthouse.

[45:25] And that's when, of course, the villain, the waves that are keeping them from the lighthouse,

[45:29] that's when they have their song.

[45:31] The motion of this ocean.

[45:35] The devotion I feel for stopping this family.

[45:39] The lighthouse.

[45:41] That lighthouse.

[45:43] He thinks he's so great.

[45:45] Oh, I just really hate that lighthouse.

[45:49] But what do I want?

[45:51] This ocean here.

[45:53] Unlike my water, it's not very clear.

[45:56] The ocean is me, but what can I see?

[46:00] Very Nightmare Before Christmas over here.

[46:02] It is very Nightmare Before Christmas, now that I think about it.

Dan McCoy

[46:04] And it's a second I Want song, which is interesting.

[46:06] I don't think the villain usually gets one of those.

Elliott Kalan

[46:09] Because it's just like Walt Disney's Everybody Wants Some.

[46:12] Okay.

[46:15] I realized at a certain point that it was just a Jack Skellington song.

[46:20] I'm the master of fright and a demon of night.

[46:23] That kind of stuff.

Dan McCoy

[46:25] I gotta say, for a composer that I love so much as a film composer,

[46:32] I do not much like the songs to that movie.

[46:37] Because they all do...

[46:38] I feel like from his pop music days, he's forgotten how to write a normal song

[46:43] that just kind of has a melody.

Elliott Kalan

[46:45] You're saying that the musical about the skeleton man was too spooky?

Dan McCoy

[46:49] No, but I'm saying that there's not really much of a melody to any of the songs.

[46:55] They are like that.

[46:56] They're like, but how will I do this thing?

[47:01] I must get an idea now!

Elliott Kalan

[47:05] It's in the grand Gilbert and Sullivan light operetta tradition.

[47:09] I find Sally's song very beautiful.

[47:13] There must be something in the wind.

[47:17] That one.

[47:17] There's good stuff in there.

[47:19] I just...

[47:19] That there's a tragedy at hand, and though I'd like to stand by him.

Stuart Wellington

[47:24] Luckily, it's paired with some world-class animation.

[47:28] I mean, it looks beautiful.

[47:29] You can't keep your eyes off that screen, you know?

Elliott Kalan

[47:32] What about, Dan, what about the part where they go,

[47:33] this is Halloween, this is Halloween?

[47:36] That's a year-round song.

[47:37] That's barely a melody.

Dan McCoy

[47:39] I like Oogie Boogie's song.

[47:42] I think that's a good one.

[47:43] Okay, yeah, that's...

[47:44] I mean, there's lots of good songs in it.

[47:46] There's good stuff in there.

[47:47] I just expected more out of Danny Elfman.

[47:49] Danny, I expected more out of you.

[47:51] Danny, Spider-Man, Elfman.

Elliott Kalan

[47:54] That's what he's best known for.

[47:56] Danny, if you're listening, I like all the songs in it.

[47:59] I think you're doing great.

[48:01] I mean, you were doing great.

[48:02] When did that movie come out?

[48:03] 27 years ago or so?

Dan McCoy

[48:04] And Danny, if you're listening,

[48:05] I immediately take everything back I said about you.

[48:08] I feel very embarrassed, and I'm sorry, and I love you.

[48:12] You've done great work.

Elliott Kalan

[48:13] I mean, Dan, you have to admit, you've got to give him credit.

[48:14] The guy is an elf.

[48:15] He has to jump from piano key to piano key because he's so tiny.

[48:19] Just to eke out a simple tune.

Stuart Wellington

[48:21] And on the subject of composers,

[48:23] I just want to do a quick shout-out to my buddy, Jonathan Hartman,

[48:26] who just composed the theme music that is used in all of the video content

[48:34] put out by Games Workshop, my former employer,

[48:37] the people who make Warhammer.

Dan McCoy

[48:39] Okay, guys.

[48:41] That was really nice.

Stuart Wellington

[48:42] You guys don't sound nearly fucking impressive enough.

[48:44] I am so goddamn hot and sweaty right now,

Dan McCoy

[48:48] and we tried to end this thing, or I did, 15 minutes ago.

Elliott Kalan

[48:52] Yeah, Dan, you tried to deny the world my original operetta musical

[48:55] based on The Lighthouse.

Dan McCoy

[48:57] You know what?

[48:57] There's great stuff that happened, great stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[48:59] But now we should let you go because you're visibly melting.

Stuart Wellington

[49:03] This is a lovely mini brought to you by Mini's Bar,

[49:05] the home of the locally sourced Frankfurters.

Elliott Kalan

[49:08] And if you have any other questions about Mini Pearl or Mini Me,

[49:11] please send them to Dan McCoy,

[49:13] courtesy of the Flophouse at Dan's House.

[49:16] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[49:17] Visit MaximumFun.org, our network, for other great shows.

[49:23] Rate, review, subscribe, all that internet stuff.

[49:27] Thank you for being here with us.

Jesse Thorn

[49:29] Just don't like radar singing.

Dan McCoy

[49:31] Yeah, thank you to Jordan Cowling for editing this nonsense.

[49:37] For the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

[49:39] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[49:41] I'm Elliot Kalin, Mr. Walt Disney.

[49:43] Call me.

[49:45] Nighty-night.

Dan McCoy

[49:51] MaximumFun.org.

[49:53] Comedy and culture.

S8

[49:54] Artist owned.

[49:56] Audience supported.

FH Mini 11 - Score Tactics

Transcript

In this episode

Description