Ep. #326 - Uninvited, with Gillian Flynn

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode of the Flophouse, we discuss...

[0:03] Uninvited!

Stuart Wellington

[0:04] Another Shocktober platter of splatter for all you sicko freaks!

[0:30] Uninvited!

Dan McCoy

[0:42] Hey everyone, welcome to the Flophouse, I'm Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[0:45] Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:48] I'm Elliot Kalin, really revved up that time, didn't expect it.

Dan McCoy

[0:52] And with us today, we have a very exciting guest.

[0:58] You know her from writing the books Sharp Objects, Dark Places, Gone Girl,

[1:04] and also adapting, I would say, the good versions of those.

[1:10] You know her from Utopia, her new show on Amazon.

[1:13] It's Gillian Flynn is here.

S4

[1:16] Hello! Thank you for having me.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19] Hey, Gillian.

[1:20] Thanks so much. What? Huh?

[1:22] I was just saying, hey, Gillian.

[1:24] I thought you said, hey, Elliot.

[1:26] And I was like, I know, Stu, you know I'm here.

[1:29] You said, hey, Gillian, not hey, Elliot.

[1:31] Yeah, yeah.

[1:31] So I apologize.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32] And I just want to take...

[1:33] I think Dan deserves a little victory lap,

[1:35] because that was a pretty good introduction there, buddy.

[1:37] Thank you.

Dan McCoy

[1:38] Certainly the best one we've done.

[1:40] Yeah.

[1:40] Elliot berated me for...

[1:42] He's like, you know, do it professional this time.

[1:44] And I don't want to, you know, point fingers at Elliot.

[1:47] But sometimes I have a professional introduction,

[1:51] and Elliot is the third person who gets introduced before the guest,

[1:55] and he goes off on a long flight of fancy that confuses and dismays me.

Elliott Kalan

[2:00] You don't have to join the flight of fancy.

[2:03] You can just let the plane take off and wait for it to land,

[2:06] and then you can introduce the guest.

[2:07] I just...

[2:08] Dan, I always remind you just because of our notorious Joe Bob Briggs episode,

[2:11] where you left the guest flailing,

[2:13] not knowing whether he should start talking or if he was even there.

Stuart Wellington

[2:17] That was the episode where we discussed the Duran Duran song, Notorious, right?

[2:21] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[2:22] Those were a notorious episode.

Dan McCoy

[2:25] Yeah, I would just like to remind our guest that she should feel free to interrupt

[2:30] any of us at any time, because we tend to talk too much.

S4

[2:35] I would also like to say that you may also know me

[2:40] if you lived in Kansas City, Missouri in 1987.

[2:43] 1987 for dressing as a tuxedoed frozen yogurt and handing out yogurt samples.

[2:51] Wow.

[2:51] So that's just another bit of my work that I'd like to get in there.

[2:55] And 1987 also happens to be the year of the movie we're discussing.

[3:01] Oh.

[3:02] What a segue.

[3:03] Already more professional than us.

[3:05] You're welcome.

[3:06] You're welcome.

Elliott Kalan

[3:07] Now, not to get us off on a tangent,

[3:09] but what kind of yogurt place puts their yogurt in tuxedos?

S4

[3:13] Fancy one.

[3:14] Very fancy.

[3:15] Super fancy black tie yogurt place.

Elliott Kalan

[3:19] TCMFY, the country's most formal yogurt?

S4

[3:21] It was the really long, oh yeah, it was one with a really long name.

[3:25] The country's best frozen yogurt, or yeah, TCBIY, I think.

Dan McCoy

[3:29] Now, you wrote a thing for the New Yorker about this, I believe.

[3:33] And I would like to ask...

[3:35] About frozen yogurt?

[3:37] Well, about wearing the costume, I think it was mostly...

S4

[3:40] One of those, like, what was your worst job, or like your craziest job?

Dan McCoy

[3:45] Now, how does one get the New Yorker to actually publish what you send to them?

[3:49] Do you have to be a best-selling writer?

[3:51] Because I haven't done that part yet, but...

S4

[3:53] If you have a previously crazy job, I think I was just part of the previously crazy job series.

[4:02] Between that and my work, consistent work through high school and college as a ham display girl at Honey Baked Ham, in which case I would take...

[4:14] You know, because customers get crazy about the spiral on the ham, and so they want you to unwrap it so they can make sure the spiral looks spiraled, and then rewrap it.

[4:25] They don't like that one, can I see a different spiral?

[4:28] So, I always went through the holiday seasons with my fingers just absolutely duct-wrapped, duct tape wrapped in bandages.

Stuart Wellington

[4:38] There's a chapter in Uzumaki about spirals on hams, right?

Elliott Kalan

[4:44] I would love it.

[4:48] If in Uzumaki, they wander into a grocery store, and they're just horrified by the spiral cut of hams.

[4:55] Everywhere. Spirals everywhere, even our beloved hams.

[5:00] Why?

[5:02] They open up an issue of X-Force, where I guess Mojo is in it.

[5:07] They're like, spiral? Why is spiral in this? Oh, no.

[5:09] That's an excellent joke for the listeners.

S4

[5:11] Tastes better spiral. That's our motto around here.

Elliott Kalan

[5:15] I guess the spiral cutting unlocks the flavor juices that would otherwise be kept inside if they were cut in a less snail shelly way.

[5:24] I don't know ham science, but that's it.

S4

[5:27] It also involves the great children's game where you can kind of bounce it down the stairs like a slinky.

Stuart Wellington

[5:32] There was a commercial for those hams where a guy put a ball bearing on the spiral, and it rolled all the way around the ham a couple times.

Elliott Kalan

[5:39] I think you're thinking of luxury cars, Stu.

[5:46] Oh, okay.

Dan McCoy

[5:47] Now, Gillian, let's segue into the movie.

[5:52] You chose this one.

[5:54] It's called Uninvited.

[5:55] It's from 1987.

[5:56] I believe it was straight to VHS.

[6:00] That's what I found in my research.

[6:03] I didn't see anything about a theatrical release, but that could be wrong.

Elliott Kalan

[6:06] I think it was a straight to video movie.

[6:08] This was written and directed by Graydon Clark, who Mystery Science Theater viewers will know from a number of different movies.

[6:15] And Dan will know from the classic boobs and video games hit Joysticks.

[6:19] Number one at the box office the week it came out.

Dan McCoy

[6:22] I was going to say, I looked it up.

[6:24] Yeah, he directed Joysticks, one of my favorite teen sex comedies.

[6:28] That was one of these movies that is about video games in such a way that it's clear that they thought video games were going to be a fad that they needed to jump onto.

[6:38] Likewise, he also directed The Forbidden Dance about the Lombada.

[6:42] That's one of two movies about the Lombada.

[6:44] This is the one with Laura Herring from Mulholland Drive in it.

[6:48] She's a, I believe, Amazon princess who has come to America to stop the deforestation of the Amazon and gets involved in a Lombada contest.

Elliott Kalan

[6:58] Yeah, through dance.

[7:00] Dan, did I ever tell you about the screening of Joysticks I went to where the hosts called Graydon Clark and they, over the phone, interviewed him?

[7:06] No.

[7:07] And he was basically said like, yeah, I went to the mall and I saw these kids lining up to play video games.

[7:12] And I was like, if we could get them to go see a movie, we'd be millionaires.

[7:14] So we made this movie.

[7:16] And they picked a weekend when nothing else was coming out.

[7:18] So they were number one at the box office nationwide.

[7:22] I mean, you can't argue with that.

[7:24] Clever.

[7:24] Which is good business sense.

[7:26] It is a fun, dumb movie.

[7:28] Unfortunately, Uninvited, because it was direct to video, they did not have that.

[7:31] Although the titles right off the bat tell you this is an amazing movies production.

[7:34] Which is promising a lot.

Dan McCoy

[7:36] Now, Kayleen, you're an aficionado of both bad movies and horror movies.

[7:42] I have learned in our very brief conversations.

[7:45] I make it out like we've known each other for years.

[7:49] Why did you choose this one?

S4

[7:51] I chose this one.

[7:53] I love 80s horror movies in particular.

[7:57] They're kind of what I grew up on.

[8:00] They remind me of sneaking at home with my friends who had the luxury of cable, which we did not.

[8:06] And just watching all those crazy movies.

[8:11] In Kansas City, we grew up with Friday Fright Night.

[8:13] That was our particular brand of the local scare movie night with a host, the cat named Caffeina.

[8:21] I loved.

[8:24] And so it has all the great kind of 80s movie staples.

[8:29] Don't you like I love the opening music for it?

[8:35] It just sort of sets you.

[8:37] It's like, okay, you're doing a little John Carpenter hair, but also Columbo.

[8:44] And, you know, it has a lot of 80s dancing and music on yachts and the classic 80s characters that you can, you know, like, oh, it's the nerd.

[8:54] It's the rich douche.

[8:55] It's the girl who will get killed and the girl won't.

[8:59] And all of which we should discuss, get very confused later on about who is playing what.

[9:04] Like the guy dressed like the nerd is not the nerd.

[9:07] I would like, I really want to, I think it's important we get into that.

[9:11] And it also has my other favorite, which is people falling into water.

[9:16] Another 80s staple.

[9:17] We're being tossed.

[9:19] Yeah.

[9:19] Tossed, fall, dive, never resurfacing.

Dan McCoy

[9:24] Since you mentioned the music, I just want to say I looked up the composer and the composer for this did 210 episodes of America's Funniest Home Videos.

Elliott Kalan

[9:35] Are you sure it's not just that you wrote the theme song?

Dan McCoy

[9:39] Who knows?

Elliott Kalan

[9:40] I don't know that they had separate scores.

Dan McCoy

[9:43] I think they had, like, a little underscoring, though, while, like, the boing sound effects and stuff.

[9:49] So here's the guy who wrote, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

[9:51] He was in the booth.

[9:53] While Bob Sag was like, oh, watch this over here.

Elliott Kalan

[9:54] I hope it won't hit me in the nuts.

[9:56] Oh!

[9:57] Like this.

Stuart Wellington

[10:00] Okay, well, I.

[10:02] What a Sisyphean wish that you won't get hit in the nuts in a video on America's Funniest Home Videos.

Elliott Kalan

[10:07] But the thing is, if the videos were that funny, they would not have needed Bob Saget to then voice the characters in the videos, right?

[10:13] I put that to you.

[10:14] I'm throwing down the gauntlet on America's Funniest Home Videos.

Dan McCoy

[10:18] Well, unfortunately for our guests, I'm in the driver's seat for the synopsis this time.

[10:24] And so bear with that, along with the 20 minutes of Skype problems we had before this episode.

[10:32] But let's just start off with the Tale of Uninvited, which we come in.

[10:39] There's some doctors who are giving a cat experimental treatments of some kind.

Elliott Kalan

[10:44] Now, one of these doctors is the director, Graydon Clark.

[10:46] Oh.

[10:46] Named here, Dr. Graydon.

Stuart Wellington

[10:47] And this is a very good, I just got to get this out of the way up front.

[10:52] This is a very good cat actor, right?

[10:54] He's great.

[10:55] He's fluffy.

[10:56] He's very fluffy.

Dan McCoy

[10:58] I wouldn't say, I mean, cat actors are notoriously difficult.

S4

[11:02] And I would say you have to add a plural to that because they clearly went through at least 600 cats during the filming of Uninvited.

[11:10] They sometimes look entirely different in addition to the cat puppets that we'll get into.

Elliott Kalan

[11:17] The cat seems to, by going into the ocean at the end of the movie, spoiler alert, the cat changes color miraculously.

Dan McCoy

[11:24] Yeah, we'll definitely get to that.

[11:26] Yeah.

[11:27] But yeah, doctors are experimenting on this cat.

[11:31] And it escapes out the door.

[11:34] Everyone panics and they try and hit it with a tranquilizer dart to no avail.

[11:40] And a tinier, uglier cat comes out of the cat's mouth and kills the security guards in the stairwell.

[11:47] And buckets of blood just splatter on the wall in a way that I have no idea what injury this cat is doing to just spray blood everywhere.

[11:56] Also, I don't know what this experiment is in creating a smaller cat that comes out of the cat.

Elliott Kalan

[12:01] Clearly, they were doing experiments to see if you could solve Alzheimer's by putting a tiny person inside of a regular person's mouth.

[12:09] And when you forgot something, the tiny person would go, hey, that's your daughter or something like that.

[12:14] And it would just like remind you.

[12:16] They start out with cats and it didn't work out clearly.

S4

[12:20] I thought it was possibly like an earlier form of the turducken.

[12:24] Like they were sort of like someday this could be huge.

Elliott Kalan

[12:28] The scientific breakthrough is realizing they should stuff the animals after they were already dead rather than trying to breed them inside each other's throats.

[12:35] People love cats.

Stuart Wellington

[12:37] Wouldn't they love two cats inside of one cat?

Elliott Kalan

[12:40] Now, let's do three cats.

[12:42] They're like, we've got to get pocket cats on the market by Christmas.

[12:45] This is the thing all the kids are going to want.

Stuart Wellington

[12:48] Now, I'm glad that we're getting it out of the way right up front that we're talking about the fact there's a smaller cat inside the original cat.

[12:55] But that the smaller cat, which is the one doing all the trouble, kind of looks like if you asked a child, like it was designed by a child who's like, I'm going to make the muscliest cat.

[13:06] Like it looks like a beefy little wrestling buddy of a cat.

[13:10] It's really awesome.

S4

[13:11] And it seems to be smiling.

[13:14] Like I like it.

[13:15] So it's like, like, I'm here, like kind of jazz hands on us.

Elliott Kalan

[13:19] Like the little, the little demon cat that pops out of his mouth thinks that people are going to love this.

[13:23] Like that it's just having a great time.

[13:28] He sees the merchandising opportunities already.

[13:31] In a way, it's kind of, it's kind of like a horror version of Michigan J. Frog.

[13:34] Like when the wrong, when most people are like, oh, it's just a cat.

[13:37] But when you look at it, a demon pops out and is like, hello.

Dan McCoy

[13:40] I also, I mean, like, I, I'm not totally sure of the nature of this mutant cat because early in the movie, it kind of seems like, like a smaller cat just pops out of the mouth.

[13:51] Like, you know, the second mouth in an alien.

[13:55] But then later on, it seems like the mutant monster can move independently of the cat.

[14:01] Like it can come fully out of the cat, which makes me wonder what happens.

[14:05] Like, is the cat normal then once that mutant leaves it?

[14:09] Or is it just like a skin suit that the mutant is wearing?

S4

[14:14] The mythology of the cat mutant puppet situation is, it's many and varied, I think.

[14:23] You know, because sometimes it comes out and it becomes larger, it seems like.

[14:26] It turns kind of puma-sized.

[14:29] Sometimes it looks like a seal.

[14:30] Sometimes they give it a little hair gel.

[14:33] Sometimes it looks scraggly and you can see all the dust mites coming out of someone's old childhood beloved stuffed animal.

[14:40] So there's a lot happening with that.

Dan McCoy

[14:43] Well, yeah, that's the hilarious thing is like, not only is obviously the mutant cat a puppet, but the supposedly real cat also has to be a puppet.

[14:53] Because I don't know if you guys know this, you can't have like a puppet cat come out of a real cat.

Elliott Kalan

[14:57] They did the old classic thing of a larger than normal cat head puppet that the then small cat comes out of.

[15:05] And that large cat puppet, I think they just run out of caring of how it's lit.

[15:10] So by the end of the movie, it just looks like a goofy, it looks like the baby from Dinosaurs.

[15:14] Like it just looks like a cartoon character.

[15:16] You got it at a carnival or something.

[15:18] Yeah, it has that big grin.

[15:20] It's like, you know, a Cheshire cat or a cat that is playing a fiddle or something.

[15:25] And I stinker.

[15:26] Yeah.

[15:26] So Dan, we also get, during the sequence, they're chasing through a parking garage and we get a little bit of cat-o-vision.

[15:32] Yeah.

[15:32] Where the camera is low on the ground and it gets to run around like you are the cat.

[15:37] Just like Jaws.

Stuart Wellington

[15:38] Yeah, you feel so powerful when you're the cat for a moment, right?

Elliott Kalan

[15:42] Yeah.

[15:43] And you know, when they didn't go on.

[15:44] The ultimate fantasy.

[15:45] It made me wish that there was a Friday the 13th parody where Jason is a cat and instead of the music going, it goes, meow, meow, meow.

[15:54] Like that.

[15:57] So, okay.

[15:58] Similarly, guys, similarly.

[16:00] It's the Halloween movies.

S6

[16:01] Instead of Michael Myers, it's a cat and the music goes, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

[16:07] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[16:07] Let me think of some other horror movies with specific musical stings so I can turn them into cat sounds.

[16:13] I mean, there's kind of the.

[16:14] Okay.

[16:14] It's Psycho.

[16:15] Instead of Norman Bates, it's Norman Cats.

[16:17] He runs the Bates Cattel.

[16:19] It's a cat hotel.

[16:20] There's a cat taking a shower.

[16:22] Which is weird.

[16:22] This all seems kind of lazy.

[16:23] The naming convention.

[16:25] And Norman Bates comes in and attacks and it goes, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

[16:30] Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

[16:32] Okay.

[16:33] What's another one?

[16:33] Okay, guys.

[16:34] Wait.

[16:34] Hold on.

[16:35] No.

[16:35] We don't have.

[16:37] Okay.

[16:37] It's Jaws, like you mentioned before, but it's a cat.

[16:40] Now, cats also have Jaws.

[16:41] So, we just call it Jaws.

[16:43] That's fine because cats have Jaws too.

[16:45] And that one's like, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

[16:51] Okay.

[16:52] Let me think of another one.

[16:53] Hold on.

[16:53] No.

[16:53] We're not doing this anymore.

Dan McCoy

[16:55] So, the security guards are all dead.

[16:59] So, the doctors themselves are running around this parking garage with guns trying to shoot

[17:04] this cat.

[17:05] They all get killed.

Elliott Kalan

[17:06] The doctor takes a gun from a security guard and then that security guard gets killed.

[17:10] And it's like, come on, doctor.

Dan McCoy

[17:13] The cat escapes.

[17:14] We cut to, there are a couple of young female spring breakers.

[17:19] They're wearing shirts that have big slits cut out of them over bikinis.

[17:24] Love it.

[17:25] And they're attempting to check into a hotel, but they're being turned away until Walter,

[17:31] an important seeming sort of sleazy guy with a mustache, steps in and says, oh, they're

[17:37] with me.

Stuart Wellington

[17:38] He gives such a strong first impression that his character reveal over time is shocking

[17:45] for me.

[17:45] Like, at first he seemed like, you know, like he seemed like the most interesting man in

[17:50] the world.

[17:51] And then he quickly devolves into like, like a simpering weirdo.

S4

[17:57] I feel like he was trying to jam every villain that he'd ever seen in a movie.

[18:02] Like he was like, this is my one shot.

[18:04] Cause at first he's kind of like, I'm a Forbes-ian business dick.

[18:09] Like then he's, that he's sort of, you know, maybe, but maybe I'm in the mafia.

[18:14] Then he's like, but I could be a chilling sociopath with clever one-liners.

[18:19] And then by the end he's just devolved into, uh, someone who has a lot of after dinner bananas.

[18:26] A lot of brothers in the cocktails.

Elliott Kalan

[18:29] It was, it was seeing him eat a banana at a party was something that I was not expecting

[18:33] when this character was first introduced as a captain of industry.

S4

[18:37] It felt like it was one of the things where actors are like, this is a brave choice.

[18:41] I'm doing it.

[18:41] I'm doing something here.

[18:43] I'm doing, you know, bear with me.

[18:44] It's a thing.

Elliott Kalan

[18:45] It's like, Graydon, I've got to do something with my hands in this scene.

[18:48] Just hand me that banana.

[18:49] Really?

[18:49] Because you're supposed to be like a billionaire.

[18:51] Just give me that banana.

[18:52] Billionaire's like bananas, right?

[18:53] You can have a martini, sir.

[18:54] Wouldn't that be banana?

[18:56] Banana.

Dan McCoy

[18:57] Banana.

[18:57] But the banana and the martini.

[18:59] No.

[19:00] Now, Dan, these two sisters.

[19:01] We just confuse the audience.

Elliott Kalan

[19:02] We should mention these two sisters, Bonnie and Suzanne.

[19:06] Yeah.

[19:06] And Bonnie is the party girl and Suzanne is the emotionally unstable, prone to hysterics as the movie goes on girl.

Dan McCoy

[19:13] Well, yeah.

[19:14] Only as the movie goes on.

[19:15] Early on, my notes are a little fuzzy on them and the guys who are about to show up because the two lead women and the two lead guys, I mean, not ultimately the leads, but like the ones that we are introduced to first, seem sort of interchangeable at first.

[19:32] And then over the course of time, they come into focus.

Elliott Kalan

[19:35] I would say yes about the girls, not about the boys.

[19:38] When we get to them, I'll tell you my theory about them.

Dan McCoy

[19:41] Okay.

[19:41] Well, anyway, so George Kennedy.

S4

[19:44] With the girls, don't you start out going like, okay, which one of you is the good girl who gets to live and which is the bad girl who's going to die?

[19:51] Exactly.

[19:51] And then you're kind of like, I don't know.

[19:52] You're both only wearing bikinis wherever you go.

[19:56] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[19:56] Their fashion choices were so bold that I wasn't really thinking too much.

[20:01] I was like, man, could I pull that off?

[20:03] Maybe?

Dan McCoy

[20:05] Can I go into it?

[20:06] They both seem like perfectly nice.

[20:08] They're like very like party spring breaker types, but they're not like, I mean, other than like just leaping onto the chance to go to like a yacht, which is fine.

[20:21] No, YOLO, dude.

Elliott Kalan

[20:22] Yeah.

[20:22] Come on.

[20:23] I mean, they're very comfortable leading on a mustachioed millionaire, which is always a bad idea.

[20:28] They are, I wish I had the confidence they have to sit in the fancy restaurant of a hotel showing off their hip bones.

[20:35] Like, I don't think I could do that.

Dan McCoy

[20:37] They're having dinner and Walter's two subordinates show up.

[20:42] They're kind of, you know, like his muscle, it seems like.

[20:45] They're menacing.

[20:47] Menacing older gentlemen.

[20:49] Yeah, but they're tough.

[20:50] One of them is George Kennedy, who is an interesting fellow because, you know, he won the Oscar for Cool Hand Luke.

[20:59] And, you know, later in his career, he was in, you know, Police Squad, the Naked Gun movies.

[21:04] But he did have this lull in the middle where he would just appear in whatever.

[21:09] And the other one is Clue Gulliger, who is in my favorite zombie movie, Return of the Living Dead.

[21:15] And here he is acting with giant fake teeth, which is a choice I do not understand.

Elliott Kalan

[21:21] It is.

[21:21] He is such a cartoon character in this movie.

[21:25] And I have to assume he was like, this is garbage.

[21:28] I'm going to just do whatever I want.

[21:30] And so he's like a character out of like Green Acres or something like that, you know, suddenly showing up.

S4

[21:37] Yes.

[21:38] He's like Ernest before there was Ernest.

[21:40] Or maybe at the same time there was Ernest.

Stuart Wellington

[21:42] I'm not sure.

[21:43] Yeah, yeah.

[21:44] Do you think he would go to parties and be like, I was Ernest before Ernest?

Elliott Kalan

[21:49] Clue Gulliger is like, Jim Varney and I were workshopping characters at the same regional theater.

[21:54] And suddenly he's making movies.

[21:57] And my character, Albert, barely shows up anywhere.

[22:00] This is bullshit.

Dan McCoy

[22:01] You know.

[22:02] Yeah.

[22:02] But George Kennedy is clearly annoyed to see Walter, you know, tearing with these young ladies.

[22:09] He's got a meeting.

[22:11] So they go to this business meeting.

[22:13] It turns out.

[22:13] So Walter's this big Wall Street guy.

Elliott Kalan

[22:15] Wait, wait.

[22:15] Before they go to the meeting, what does he do to the girls?

Dan McCoy

[22:19] Oh, he invites them to his yacht.

Elliott Kalan

[22:21] He invites them to the yacht.

[22:24] Beginning the theme that I think Dan and I will have some disagreement on.

[22:27] No one in this movie is uninvited.

[22:29] Every character receives an invitation at some point.

[22:32] Well, we'll get to it.

[22:34] We'll get to it.

[22:34] But as you'll see, the movie Uninvited has a distinct lack of uninvited guests.

[22:38] But they go to the yacht, Dan.

[22:39] Tell me about this meeting.

Dan McCoy

[22:40] They go to this meeting.

[22:42] Walter is this Wall Street hotshot.

[22:45] But the SEC is closing in on him.

[22:48] He is a fraudster of some kind.

[22:51] I'm not really clear on what's going on with this guy he's meeting.

Elliott Kalan

[22:54] So this guy, Daryl, I think he knows something that could get them in trouble.

[22:58] Yeah.

[22:59] And so they are going to try to bribe him, and they barely wait for his answer before they just drown him in the jacuzzi.

[23:04] And one thing that was funny was they're clearly saying SEC, which makes sense, the Security and Exchange Commission.

[23:09] But the captions on Amazon Prime say FCC, the Federal Communications Commission.

[23:14] And I was like, what's the FCC going to do to him that's that bad?

[23:17] Like, does he own two TV stations in the same market?

[23:20] Like, what's the problem?

Dan McCoy

[23:21] Yeah.

[23:22] Walter revealed his nipple at the Super Bowl.

[23:24] And they're going to find him.

[23:26] Yeah.

[23:27] And it's not even his fault.

Elliott Kalan

[23:28] The other guy's involved just as bad.

Stuart Wellington

[23:31] It's fucked up.

Elliott Kalan

[23:32] He's like, why did I say fuck on Saturday Night Live?

[23:34] That was a mistake.

[23:35] Now I've got to run for my life.

Dan McCoy

[23:38] Yeah.

[23:38] So as you say, Clue kills this dude by drowning him in a hot tub.

S4

[23:44] Falling into water.

[23:45] Check and double check.

Elliott Kalan

[23:48] What I like about it is it's like, it's easy to fall over a boat into water.

[23:52] But to fall into water on the boat, that takes guts.

[23:56] Very meta.

[23:58] First, they offer him three metal suitcases, each one containing a million bucks in cash.

[24:03] And those will come up later.

[24:05] And they're like, it's so funny.

[24:05] Yeah, assuming they don't open them.

Stuart Wellington

[24:06] It could be like, what's that like, pick the case with the money game?

[24:10] What's that game show?

[24:11] Oh, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[24:11] Gold bricks?

[24:13] No.

[24:13] Make me a millionaire?

[24:14] Yeah, something.

[24:16] Steal my case?

[24:17] Steal my case.

Dan McCoy

[24:21] What is the name of the show?

[24:21] Yeah, it does feel like just rubbing it in that they're showing the money to him before killing him.

Elliott Kalan

[24:25] Well, it's so funny because it's like, here's a case of a million dollars.

[24:28] Will this buy your silence?

[24:30] I don't know, guys.

[24:31] Well, here's a second case.

[24:32] How about if we kill you?

[24:35] Would that help?

[24:36] It'd be funny if while he's drowning, he's like, I didn't know this was an option.

[24:39] I'll take the cases.

Stuart Wellington

[24:40] Yeah, yeah.

[24:41] While he's drowning, do you think he's like, I hope I don't get a bacteria infection?

Elliott Kalan

[24:45] Goozies are notoriously gross.

[24:47] How often do you have this filtered?

[24:49] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[24:50] So we cut from this murder to-

Elliott Kalan

[24:52] Oh, it's a deal or no deal is the briefcase show, right?

[24:54] Thank you.

Dan McCoy

[24:56] Very important.

[24:57] Starring Howard Mandel.

[24:58] Yeah.

[24:59] We cut to a guy at a gas station feeding the mutant cat some milk, and this goes on for a long time.

Elliott Kalan

[25:07] He pets him for so long.

Dan McCoy

[25:09] And I'm on board with this as a cat lover.

[25:12] I'm like, this is fine, because one of the things about this movie is the cat, when it's not spewing out its mutant spawn, is a very cute cat.

[25:21] So maybe not the best villain for your film, I would argue.

[25:26] So I'm enjoying this cat, enjoying its milk.

[25:30] I mean, I'm a little concerned because milk isn't necessarily good for cats.

Stuart Wellington

[25:33] It can lead to diarrhea and stuff.

[25:34] Yeah, that is true.

Elliott Kalan

[25:35] I was just like, are we going to find out this character's face?

[25:40] Who's petting this cat?

[25:41] Because it's shot in such a way that you don't know who it is.

[25:44] And usually that means it's kind of a mysterious, ominous character.

[25:47] But in this case, it's literally just probably they had someone in an earlier scene and they didn't want to show his face because they didn't have a new actor for it.

Dan McCoy

[25:54] Just a guy and two other guys come and they beat him up and steal his truck.

[26:01] But the cat gets in the back of the truck and kills them, presumably, I guess, in retribution for beating up this guy who was giving them milk.

[26:08] And the truck falls down in bankment in slow motion for a very long time.

[26:13] Yeah, it's great.

S4

[26:14] It's like the cat's first revenge killing.

[26:17] You've got a taste for it now.

Stuart Wellington

[26:20] Yeah, he's trying to win back the audience's good graces at this point.

[26:25] Because at first he just killed an unarmed security guard, like peeled his face right off.

[26:29] It was horrible.

[26:30] But now he's got to kill these two jerks.

S4

[26:32] Now he's vigilante.

[26:32] It's the classic save the cat thing in screenwriting.

[26:36] But it's the cat saving the cat with the cat.

Elliott Kalan

[26:40] Yeah, you get a cat in a truck.

[26:41] You throw rocks at the truck and then the truck falls down a hill.

Dan McCoy

[26:45] I mean, early in this movie, the cat is only killing bad people.

[26:49] I've got to say.

Elliott Kalan

[26:50] I mean, the workers at the lab might disagree with that.

[26:53] Sure, they're doing questions.

[26:54] They were mutating him.

[26:56] They were mutating him.

[26:58] I don't blame them.

[26:58] The security guards, too.

[26:59] It's like a Michael Moore cat who's like, I hate this evil corporation, so I'm going to bother a security guard all day.

[27:04] And it's like, he's not the problem, Michael Moore.

[27:06] Like, come on, Michael Moore cat.

S4

[27:09] I would like to point out that the cat in this first revenge killing and then one of its many metamorphoses has webbed feet.

[27:18] When he reaches out from behind the driver to attack him, he has webbed claw feet.

[27:25] And so at that point, I was like, is it a platypus?

[27:29] Yeah.

[27:30] Is it like, what's it turning into?

[27:31] What's going to happen?

Elliott Kalan

[27:32] I mean, maybe that was the experiment to see whether you could turn a cat into a platypus.

[27:36] And the side effect was it has a tiny little monster baby in its throat.

[27:39] And they didn't see that coming.

S4

[27:41] They're like, this isn't a platypus.

[27:43] They're having name ready and everything.

Dan McCoy

[27:46] Yeah.

[27:47] So we cut to two dudes who are hanging out at the marina looking to pick up women.

[27:52] One of them is sort of a preppy guy.

[27:55] And one of them is wearing more like, I don't know, party dude shirts.

[27:58] You don't want to hear real James and Stu situations.

Elliott Kalan

[28:00] So this is Corey and Lance.

[28:02] And they are so clearly some sort of universal primordial Zack and Slater from Saved by the Bell.

[28:08] I was like, I got to find out.

[28:11] Like, it was like the world's collective unconscious was like, we need a Zack and Slater.

[28:15] And first it got to this movie and it wasn't quite right.

[28:18] And then it finally got to Saved by the Bell.

[28:19] Yeah.

[28:19] Because it's literally like preppy with like a polo shirt.

[28:22] And his best friend is wearing like neon sleeveless gym wear.

[28:25] Well, not yet, though.

S4

[28:27] I would like to point out, again, in the ongoing confusion,

[28:30] of my 80s stereotypes, the non-blonde preppy guy is at first dressed very similarly to the classic 80s nerd sidekick,

[28:41] a ducky-like type because he has the awkward hat.

[28:44] Yeah.

[28:44] And he's got the Hawaiian shirt.

[28:46] That's true.

[28:47] And he's kind of like, and he's seasick.

[28:49] He's like, oh.

[28:50] And then later it's revealed to be that he's a world-class wrestler.

[28:55] Big steward energy right there.

[28:57] And party girl starts making out with him immediately.

[28:59] Despite the vomit.

[29:01] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[29:02] It's like the scene in The Believer when Ryan Gosling throws up and then his girlfriend kisses him right afterwards to calm him down.

[29:09] And I was like, ew, gross.

[29:11] That's even grosser than his dabbling with anti-Semitism.

Dan McCoy

[29:15] So they're sitting around and there's jaunty sort of electric keyboard music playing.

[29:20] And our two spring breakers come join them.

[29:25] They're immediately attracted to them.

[29:26] Then their bearded friend, Hedgeworth, they call him.

[29:30] I guess that's his last name.

[29:32] What's his first name again?

[29:33] Mike.

[29:34] Mike Hedgeworth shows up.

Elliott Kalan

[29:36] For the first half of the movie, they just call him Hedgeworth.

[29:38] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[29:39] Because isn't George Kennedy's character Mike Kelly?

[29:44] To be honest, I never knew his name.

S4

[29:46] Too many guys.

[29:46] I never knew his name.

[29:47] For a long time, they were yelling Mike so often.

[29:49] They yell everyone's name in this movie a lot.

[29:51] And they're like, Mike, Mike.

[29:52] I thought Mike.

[29:53] I literally thought Mike was the cat.

[29:55] I thought that they were like, cool cat name.

Dan McCoy

[30:00] So Hedgeworth's there to say that there's no hotel for them in town.

[30:03] And they seem very annoyed that he has joined them, I guess, because the men to women ratio has now changed.

[30:11] But also they just kind of treat him like he's unbearable.

[30:14] And I'm like, he seems like a perfectly nice guy.

[30:17] I don't know why.

Elliott Kalan

[30:18] He's very much supposed to be.

[30:20] I think he's supposed to.

[30:21] It's like when he shows up, he's supposed to be the nerd and he bumps.

[30:24] That's when Lance is like, oh, I'm not the nerd anymore.

[30:26] I guess I'm a jock now.

[30:28] Hey.

[30:28] Yeah.

[30:29] Forget about it.

[30:30] Totally.

[30:30] But he never.

[30:32] He's just like a.

[30:33] Yeah.

[30:33] He's just a normal guy.

[30:34] If anything, it seems weird that he's hanging out with Lance and Corey because he doesn't seem to like any of the same things.

[30:41] Like he's a Ph.D. student, I think.

[30:43] Like it doesn't make sense.

[30:44] Why are they friends?

S4

[30:45] He seems to have a future.

Elliott Kalan

[30:49] And I wanted to mention, Dan, that Corey is played by the actor Rob Estes, who is best known for Silk Stockings, a show I refuse to admit or refuse to believe exists.

[30:59] I think they just shot commercials to run on USA when I was a kid.

Dan McCoy

[31:03] I mean, I've definitely seen the opening credits for it.

[31:05] I don't know about any of the actual show.

S4

[31:09] I was a young girl in the 80s, and I think I can attest to the fact that there did exist a Silk Stockings, and I probably watched every episode of it.

Dan McCoy

[31:19] From my.

[31:21] So I believe it to be a show about people playing saxophone in wet alleys.

[31:27] Is that what.

[31:28] You got it.

[31:28] It's about.

[31:29] You got it.

S4

[31:30] And Rob Estes is running around with a gun going like, who's making that racket?

Dan McCoy

[31:36] People are trying to sleep around here.

[31:39] So these women mention they're going to go on this yacht with Walter, and the preppier guy knows that Walter's this huge Wall Street guy, and he's very excited.

[31:51] And so the women invite the men along to the yacht.

[31:54] Interesting.

Elliott Kalan

[31:55] Interesting.

[31:55] The word you just used to describe what happened there, Dan.

[31:58] I would call that Exhibit B.

[32:00] Exhibit B for the prosecution.

[32:02] It is Walter's yacht.

Dan McCoy

[32:03] It is not their place to invite them.

[32:05] They are uninvited to this yacht.

Elliott Kalan

[32:06] It doesn't matter that they don't have the right to invite them.

[32:09] As far as the boys are concerned, they've been offered an invitation, and they're going to take it.

[32:14] They didn't say to the girls, okay, we'll take us to your yacht, or we're going to throw you overboard.

[32:18] They didn't say, hey, where's the yacht?

[32:21] Because we're going to sneak on later in the middle of the night when no one sees us.

[32:23] They have been invited.

[32:25] Exhibit B.

Dan McCoy

[32:25] But once they arrive at the yacht, Walter attempts to block them from being on the yacht.

Elliott Kalan

[32:32] Before ultimately offering them jobs that would require them to be on the yacht.

[32:37] An invitation, if you will.

[32:37] Only because the SEC is closing in.

[32:39] I don't...

[32:40] Wait, but then right after they invite the boys, what happens then?

Dan McCoy

[32:43] Okay.

[32:44] So, well, they invite the...

[32:46] Also, one of the women grabs one of their legs immediately.

[32:52] Like, they're coming on hot right from the beginning.

[32:55] But they're on the way to the boat.

[32:57] They find the cat inside some kind of, like, equipment hold on the dock.

[33:01] And I'm not sure how the cat got inside at this point.

[33:03] I mean, later on, we see that the cat can claw through steel.

[33:06] Yeah, super strength.

[33:07] It can bite through George Kennedy's shoes.

[33:10] Yeah.

[33:11] And one of the women decides to take the cat along to save it.

[33:14] They see it has a medical, like, collar on.

[33:17] And they feel bad for it.

[33:18] And in this scene, the cat does not want to be held by this woman.

[33:22] No.

Elliott Kalan

[33:23] It's Suzanne who has the cat.

[33:25] And she says, oh, I'm going to take care of this cat.

[33:27] It's coming with me.

[33:28] Which is kind of an invitation, you could say.

S4

[33:33] I would say the cat was definitely invited on this trip.

[33:36] It may not have wanted to be invited.

[33:39] Possibly coerced.

Elliott Kalan

[33:40] But Suzanne was going to take that cat.

[33:43] Cats.

[33:45] Walter doesn't like cats, and yet he gives in, hoping that Suzanne will allow some part of his body to touch some part of her body.

[33:53] He gives in and allows her to bring the cat.

Stuart Wellington

[33:54] Yeah, he does turn into some kind of creepy thing.

Elliott Kalan

[33:58] I mean, he's always kind of creepy.

[33:59] Oh, he's a creep from the beginning.

Stuart Wellington

[34:00] I don't know what you're talking about.

Elliott Kalan

[34:01] There's no way a millionaire with a mustache picks up two bikini girls and takes them to a fancy restaurant, and it's not creepy.

[34:07] I'm sorry.

[34:08] It's not a charitable thing.

Stuart Wellington

[34:09] At the beginning, he said no strings attached, Elliot.

[34:12] He meant that their string bikinis won't be attached to them anymore.

Dan McCoy

[34:16] Yeah.

[34:17] Okay, well, we get a scene of exposition here where we learn that Walter has been such a dick to the whole crew that they've all quit.

[34:26] And the captain is a young woman named Rachel.

[34:29] I looked her up.

[34:29] She is Joyce Heiser's best friend in Just One of the Guys.

Elliott Kalan

[34:34] That's who she is.

Dan McCoy

[34:36] Yeah.

[34:36] Back at her original school, where they know that she's not dressed up for her, as a man for her thing.

[34:47] And Walter acts very sleazy towards her, as he does every woman in the movie.

[34:54] And the guys arrive, and Walter is like, no, no, no, no, no.

[34:58] And the spring break ladies are like, hey, but you need a crew.

[35:02] And he also wants to get rid of the cat.

[35:03] But, you know, people are closing on him, so they head out to open water.

Elliott Kalan

[35:08] So he offers a reluctant invitation to all of these people to stay on the yacht.

[35:12] Case closed.

[35:13] And so they've got to get to the Cayman Islands, right, before the feds freeze their offshore bank account full of their ill-gotten gains?

[35:20] Yes.

S4

[35:20] I think it was right around here I started to keep my husband excited and involved and not leave me alone watching Uninvited on a Saturday night.

[35:30] I was like, let's make it a fun game where we count how many times they mentioned getting to the Caymans.

[35:37] Because right now we're already about on four, I think.

[35:41] Yeah.

[35:41] We're going to get to the Caymans.

Dan McCoy

[35:45] That's, you know, like when you're diagramming Walter's character, that's his want.

[35:50] Yeah.

[35:51] The demons.

[35:53] So the young people are checking out the digs and they start dancing to nondescript pop music on the radio.

[36:00] And the beard guy is dancing on his own.

[36:02] That's a Hedgeworth.

[36:04] He's dancing on his own.

[36:05] He's just sort of pumping his fists back and forth.

[36:07] Like how Elliot dances.

[36:09] I mean, Elliot's more of like this motion.

Elliott Kalan

[36:11] But I dance deliberately like a baby would dance.

[36:13] Just bobbing up and down on my knees.

[36:15] Yeah.

[36:16] Cute.

Stuart Wellington

[36:17] And you also strip down into a diaper and do it, right?

Elliott Kalan

[36:20] I mean, if I'm going to go the full way, it's called the baby dance.

[36:23] Yeah, of course.

[36:24] Well, because I'll bring you back to a time when a little show called Ally McBeal was on the air.

[36:29] Sure.

[36:29] And the nation became captivated by a computer generated dancing baby that Ally McBeal hallucinated or maybe it told her to kill.

[36:37] I don't remember the show that well.

[36:38] But people loved that dancing baby.

[36:40] And I said, I want that kind of attention.

[36:43] And that's when the baby dance began.

[36:45] Now, let's fast forward to yesterday.

[36:49] My son is on Zoom attending his first grade class.

[36:52] And I decide, you know what would liven this class up?

[36:54] A little bit of the baby dance.

[36:56] I strip down to my diaper.

[36:57] I don't know.

[36:57] And I make sure I'm in the range of the Zoom camera.

[37:00] And that's why my son doesn't have a school right now.

[37:02] So if anyone knows of a first grade that is looking for students, I have a child who desperately needs an education.

[37:08] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[37:09] So George Kennedy says he doesn't like punk kids.

[37:13] And I am totally on his side at this point.

[37:17] I mean, Dan, you like punk kids, though.

Elliott Kalan

[37:19] But you don't like these kids.

Dan McCoy

[37:20] Yes, I don't like these kids.

[37:21] But he signs them all duties.

[37:23] One of them cook.

[37:24] One's going to be a busboy dishwasher.

[37:26] One's going to be a maid.

[37:28] The captain, Rachel, is trying to teach Clue how to drive the boat.

[37:33] And he's overacting like crazy.

[37:38] And the guys are in the kitchen bitching about having to work for this free yacht trip that they were not invited on by the owner of the yacht.

[37:46] We can stipulate that, at least.

[37:48] But then the women come in to say how hot it is in the kitchen three times.

[37:52] One time in unison, I believe.

[37:54] And they unbutton their shirts enough to show via their cleavage that there's nothing that they're wearing underneath.

[38:00] There's no nudity in this movie, but it is suggested several times.

Elliott Kalan

[38:04] That's Dan Mystric Skin McCoy giving us the full report.

Stuart Wellington

[38:10] At this point, you're like, it's more just like having fun on a yacht type movie, right?

[38:17] It's barely a monster movie.

Elliott Kalan

[38:18] Yeah, it should be called Yacht Invited.

[38:20] Because they've been invited on a yacht.

[38:23] And Dan, they start making out with the boys except for Hedgeworth, the only one who is doing any actual work.

[38:28] Seems unfair.

Dan McCoy

[38:29] He is the unfuckable one at this point.

[38:31] But also, it seems like our two lead Spring Breaker ladies have imprinted on the first guys they saw, like their baby dogs.

[38:43] Yeah, but Clue Gulliger is drunk at the wheel.

[38:50] And everyone else is dressed for dinner.

S4

[38:53] I'd like to add at this point is when Clue says the infamous line, this is for you, Tammy Faye.

Dan McCoy

[39:01] Uh-huh.

S4

[39:02] Which thereby reminding us that it's 1987.

Dan McCoy

[39:09] I missed this line, what was for Tammy Faye?

S4

[39:13] I even backed up to see if I could figure out what exactly was for Tammy Faye.

[39:18] I had the teeth, the booze, the ship, him.

[39:23] He wanted to give her something.

Stuart Wellington

[39:26] Yeah, he gave his character a little bit of inner life.

[39:29] He wanted to bring him out on screen.

S4

[39:31] He's like, if the other guy gets to have the after dinner banana, I get to drop my Tammy Faye reference.

Dan McCoy

[39:38] So, all right, everyone's having dinner.

[39:41] And this is where Hedgeworth is chatting with Rachel, the captain.

[39:47] And they seem to be hitting it off.

[39:49] Maybe finally Hedgeworth has made a love connection.

[39:53] But Walter comes over to hassle Rachel.

[39:56] He's like, what do you see in this guy?

[39:57] Who's like, well, maybe the fact that he's not a dick and he's age appropriate.

[40:02] But everyone is dancing around in music in the way that people do in movies when there's only like four people in a room.

[40:08] Which has never happened to me in life.

Elliott Kalan

[40:11] It's a very, they dance extremely whitely.

[40:15] And it makes me wonder if any music was playing when they were actually doing the dancing.

[40:19] Because it's just kind of like generic dance moves that you could just plug any kind of soft rock song onto.

Stuart Wellington

[40:25] I mean, I've never been on a movie set.

[40:28] But I'm pretty sure they play the music that's going to be in the movie so they can sync it up, right?

Elliott Kalan

[40:36] I hate to rank it to his due, but that's exactly right.

[40:39] That's exactly what they do.

Dan McCoy

[40:42] Clue Gulliger is still drinking.

[40:45] Now he's singing the Battle Hymn of the Republic for some reason.

[40:48] Rachel discovers him.

Elliott Kalan

[40:50] How many hours of improv from Clue Gulliger at the tiller do you think they have?

Dan McCoy

[40:56] I honestly think that the script just says Clue does something whenever he appears on screen.

[41:04] Which is not going to be for very much longer.

[41:06] Because she kicks him off the helm.

[41:09] He goes to his wine cooler.

[41:11] Which in this case is a cooler full of wine and not the drink wine cooler.

[41:15] And once again, there's a cat inside a closed bin.

[41:20] And comes out and kills Clue.

[41:24] And there are shots of blood pumping from his neck.

Stuart Wellington

[41:27] Well, I do like that we see the mini cat coming out of the mouth.

[41:32] And Clue has the wherewithal, despite being very drunk and overacty.

[41:37] He smashes his bottle of wine to create a weapon.

[41:40] Too late though.

[41:41] He gets blasted.

[41:43] And then his neck starts pumping, right?

Dan McCoy

[41:45] That's why I smashed my bottle ahead of time.

[41:49] Just in case I'm going to get into some shit.

[41:51] And I was like, was he christening the yacht at that point?

[41:54] Because it feels a little late to be doing that.

Elliott Kalan

[41:57] Dan, you mentioned he was also spitting wine at the cat.

[41:59] That's why the cat ripped his neck off.

Dan McCoy

[42:03] Early on, the cat only attacks those who threaten the cat.

Elliott Kalan

[42:07] We've always seen it.

[42:08] Right before this, the cat is walking around the engine room.

[42:10] And there's like, the engine revs.

[42:12] And it scares the cat.

[42:13] And the cat rips a cable out with its little demons.

[42:15] The cat is very reactive.

[42:17] It's just reacting to things.

Dan McCoy

[42:18] I, yeah.

[42:20] I have this later.

[42:22] It says, like, Walter, like, we see the cat in the engine room.

[42:26] Like, the boat has stopped because the engine is overheating.

[42:28] And I'm like, did the cat sabotage the boat?

[42:30] Apparently.

[42:32] That's actually what happened.

Elliott Kalan

[42:33] That is what happened.

[42:33] But just because the cat was just reacting.

[42:35] The cat is a lot like the Iron Giant, I guess.

[42:41] Where, like, if you attack it, it's going to attack you back.

[42:44] But if you don't attack it, it will hang out with you in a beatnik.

Dan McCoy

[42:48] Or me, Elliot.

[42:49] If I think someone's being mean, I lash out before thinking.

Elliott Kalan

[42:53] I've been the brunt of that once.

[42:55] I just went to hand Dan a hairbrush.

[42:58] And he thought it was a gun.

[43:00] And he was strangling me.

S4

[43:02] And I was like, Dan, Dan, I just wanted you to look your best.

Elliott Kalan

[43:05] It was before a show.

[43:06] And then I died.

[43:07] And they had to replace me with a body double at the last minute.

[43:10] Do you guys remember that?

[43:10] It was crazy.

[43:11] I do.

Stuart Wellington

[43:12] That was weird.

[43:13] And Dan, like, there's also times where, like, when you want attention, you really want attention.

[43:18] But when you don't want attention, you want to be left alone.

[43:20] Kind of like a cat, too.

[43:21] So you are kind of like a cat.

Dan McCoy

[43:23] I am very much like a cat.

Elliott Kalan

[43:24] Dan, have you ever thought about legally changing your name from Dan McCoy to Dan McCat?

[43:29] I have now.

Dan McCoy

[43:32] Well, anyway, George Kennedy hears his compatriot, Kluge Gulliger, fall overboard.

[43:39] And he goes to investigate.

[43:40] Falling into water.

Elliott Kalan

[43:41] Check.

[43:42] Three.

[43:43] It was while watching this movie that Frank Lloyd Wright was inspired to create perhaps his

[43:48] masterwork, Falling Water.

[43:49] And he was like, what if the water fell rather than Kluge Gulliger?

[43:56] I'll have to express this the only way I can.

[43:58] His first design, it looked like Kluge Gulliger falling into water.

[44:00] His first design was called Falling Gulliger.

[44:02] Originally called Falling Gulliger, yeah.

[44:03] And the people he was designing the house for were like, I don't want a house that looks

[44:08] like Kluge Gulliger is falling over.

[44:12] Frank, what are you doing?

[44:13] Who is this?

Dan McCoy

[44:14] And they're like, come on, Return of the Living Dead?

[44:16] He was in a lot of Westerns at one point.

[44:17] Come on.

Elliott Kalan

[44:18] He did a lot of TV over here.

[44:19] He was in McHugh.

[44:20] And they're like, no, forget it.

[44:21] And Frank Lloyd Wright's like, come on, it'll look good.

[44:24] It's me, Frankie Lloyds.

[44:25] Come on.

[44:25] I make any house look good.

[44:27] $29.99.

[44:28] Any house.

Stuart Wellington

[44:29] Do you think there might be some intellectual property issues by using this guy's likeness?

[44:34] Maybe we should change it to water instead.

Elliott Kalan

[44:36] And he's like, oh, so you own the copyright for water?

[44:38] Okay.

[44:38] You're the one who might get in trouble.

[44:40] But we'll change it to Falling Water.

[44:41] Sure.

[44:42] Well, anyway.

S4

[44:43] It's going to be a lot less hilarious, though.

Elliott Kalan

[44:46] Yeah.

[44:46] It's going to be.

[44:47] And this is the same thing that happened when I designed the Klugenheim and they made me

[44:51] change it to the Guggenheim.

[44:52] Originally, it was a spiral cut Kluguliger.

Dan McCoy

[44:56] Kelly and I like that you're postulating that Frank Lloyd Wright originally wanted to design

[45:01] buildings that were hilarious, though.

S4

[45:03] Yeah.

[45:04] It was wacky.

[45:05] No one knew that side of him.

Dan McCoy

[45:08] So George Kennedy and Walter find the blood on the railing and they assume he just hit his

[45:12] head and fell overboard, but they can't stop their escape.

Elliott Kalan

[45:16] Which is a very, very realistic thing to believe.

[45:22] Like, you could believe that Kluguliger's character, Albert, got drunk and fell overboard.

[45:25] Oh, 100%.

[45:25] 100%.

[45:26] 100%.

Stuart Wellington

[45:26] I don't know.

[45:27] I mean, if I was, you know, I'm just throwing this out there.

[45:31] If I was in the moment, if I was their characters, I would probably assume that he was attacked

[45:37] by a cat demon, his blood got poisoned, then he fell overboard.

Elliott Kalan

[45:40] I mean, that is the second most believable thing that could have happened.

[45:44] That is what your mind would go to pretty quickly, I think.

Stuart Wellington

[45:47] Because it seems like it's not just that he got attacked.

[45:49] Like, his body is reacting crazy to the wounds.

[45:52] At first, I'm like, is that supposed to be like his artery pumping out blood?

[45:57] But it's not really.

[45:57] It's just his neck is throbbing all strange.

[45:59] And then he falls overboard.

Elliott Kalan

[46:01] Yeah.

[46:02] There's a lot of pulsating in the movie.

[46:05] There's a lot of pulsating.

[46:07] It's a pulsation heavy film.

[46:09] And Albert is our first introduction to that.

[46:11] But now it's the next day, Dan.

[46:13] And right, they found Albert's blood.

[46:14] They've got bigger problems with the boat.

Dan McCoy

[46:16] Yeah.

[46:16] Well, yeah.

[46:18] Rachel can't find clues.

[46:20] He's the blood.

[46:21] Walter dangles the chance of getting her boat back in return for just continuing to the Caymans.

[46:26] What I love about it is.

[46:27] This used to be her dad's boat.

[46:29] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[46:29] And what I love is that he's not like, we'll just give you the boat back.

[46:32] He's like, I'll give it to you for a pretty good price.

Dan McCoy

[46:37] In exchange for leaving this man in the sea.

[46:40] But, you know, Walter's like, he can't swim.

[46:42] He's dead already.

[46:43] And she's like, okay, fine, fine, fine.

Elliott Kalan

[46:45] Do you think behind the scenes, somebody made the joke?

[46:48] They're like, oh, all this blood on the deck.

[46:51] That's quite a clue.

Dan McCoy

[46:53] Get it?

[46:54] Clue?

Stuart Wellington

[46:55] Oh, my God.

[46:56] I never thought about it.

Dan McCoy

[46:57] And then they're like, let's use that in the movie.

[46:59] And they're like, wait, we can't.

[47:00] It's just his actor's name.

[47:02] It's not the character's name.

Elliott Kalan

[47:03] Well, maybe we could change the character's name to Clue.

[47:05] No, we called him Albert in all the previous scenes.

[47:07] But we've got 20 different cats playing the same cat.

[47:10] You're saying he can't have a middle name that's Clue?

Stuart Wellington

[47:12] Yeah.

[47:13] And we called one guy Hedgeworth.

[47:14] And then we called him Mike after a while.

[47:16] I mean, who cares?

Elliott Kalan

[47:17] Yeah.

[47:18] And the screenwriter was like, that's it.

[47:19] I'm off the set.

[47:20] And that's why David Mamet's name is not in the credits anymore.

S4

[47:22] And the two blonde women look exactly the same.

[47:25] That's true.

[47:26] I had lots of trouble keeping who was who.

Stuart Wellington

[47:30] Until, I think, is it Susan or Suzanne?

[47:32] When she starts to get crazier and she has her meltdown,

[47:36] that's when I started to understand because her hair was like, you know.

S4

[47:39] Her hair got straight.

[47:40] Yeah, it got straightened and sad.

[47:42] It was a sad, frightened hair.

Elliott Kalan

[47:44] It did help me a lot.

[47:45] It didn't have any fight left in it.

[47:48] Yeah, the hair just gave up the ghost at that point.

[47:52] The hair went permanent?

[47:54] I don't think so.

[47:56] It did help that Suzanne mostly wears blue and Rachel mostly wears kind of like pinkish red.

[48:01] Oh, no, Rachel.

[48:02] Bonnie wears kind of pinkish red.

[48:04] So I didn't know their names for a lot of it.

[48:05] So I was just like, ah, blue suit and red suit.

[48:07] Like they're video game characters.

Dan McCoy

[48:08] I mean, one of them has curly hair and one of them is straight.

[48:11] That's really the way you should discern these interchangeable characters, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[48:15] Curly the Stooge has no hair.

[48:17] What are you talking about?

[48:18] Oh, that's true.

[48:18] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[48:20] And Moe has a Moe haircut.

Stuart Wellington

[48:22] Is that what it's called?

[48:24] No.

[48:24] When you go to the salon, that's what you ask for.

[48:27] Yeah, give me a Moe.

[48:28] Give me a Moe.

Elliott Kalan

[48:31] But that is what Moe hair suits are made out of.

[48:34] It's all hair from Moe, Moe Fine of the Three Stooges.

[48:38] No, Moe, what was his last name?

[48:39] Howard.

[48:40] Moe Howard.

[48:41] Thank you.

[48:41] Very fine.

[48:42] Moe Howard's hair.

[48:44] And there's a limited supply of that.

[48:45] So at some point, you will not be able to get Moe hair suits anymore because they'll have

[48:48] run out of Moe's hair.

[48:49] It's like helium or tungsten that way.

[48:52] It's just a natural resource for running through very quickly.

[48:54] Yeah, that was one of the things that-

Dan McCoy

[48:55] Hair keeps growing a little bit after death, so they keep digging up Moe.

Stuart Wellington

[49:00] Well, that was the thing.

[49:02] Ethan Hawke was in First Reformed.

[49:04] He was watching sad videos of Moe hair suits going away.

[49:06] That's what really made him flick.

Elliott Kalan

[49:08] That's what made him possibly commit a terrorist act.

Dan McCoy

[49:10] Yeah.

[49:11] Okay.

[49:11] I've wanted to get along to this next scene for a while because this scene is inexplicable

[49:15] to me.

[49:15] This is one of these horror movie.

[49:18] I'm going to make a big leap scenes because Hedgeworth comes in with some of Albert's blood he's

[49:24] gotten off of the railing.

[49:26] And he uses a sextant as a microscope to examine it.

[49:31] But that's for cartography, Dan.

[49:33] A sextant?

[49:35] I guess you can use it as a microscope.

[49:38] But I have no idea why he thinks he's going to find anything.

[49:41] What motivates him?

Elliott Kalan

[49:43] He is bored on that boat, Dan, and he just wants an excuse to get close to that captain.

[49:47] So he's like, what do they have in the ship cabin?

[49:50] A sextant.

[49:51] Oh, and it means I get to say sext in front of her.

[49:53] Okay, great.

[49:54] Done.

[49:54] And then she hands it to him and he's like, I got to have a reason for why I'm holding

[49:58] this thing.

[49:58] I'll use it as a microscope.

[49:59] Give me a prism.

Dan McCoy

[50:04] Well, he finds out the blood cell count in Albert's blood is abnormally high.

[50:11] Meanwhile, content warning for attempted sexual assault.

[50:16] Walter comes in on Bobby doing aerobics.

[50:18] And first he tries to impress her by how rich she is.

[50:21] Then he starts trying to fondle her and assault her.

[50:26] But then one of the dudes jumps him.

[50:28] Lance.

[50:29] Lance.

[50:29] A.C. Slater.

[50:30] George Kennedy shoots him in the shoulder.

[50:33] Yep.

[50:33] But it's stopped from killing him by the other guy.

[50:37] And the cat puppet bites George Kennedy's Achilles tendon area.

[50:41] And he shoots around the room wildly to try and get the cat, which runs off.

Stuart Wellington

[50:47] Yeah, which like tears his ankle apart.

[50:48] It's like the end of Pet Sematary, right?

[50:52] Yeah.

[50:53] What's that little baby?

[50:54] The dead baby?

[50:55] That's that guy's ankle off or whatever.

[50:57] Oh, yeah.

[50:58] Gage.

[50:59] Thank you.

Dan McCoy

[51:02] And so his heart is racing like crazy, like even more than you would if your Achilles tendon

[51:08] was bitten off by a cat.

Elliott Kalan

[51:09] It's what George Kennedy probably looks like when he goes up a flight of stairs.

S4

[51:15] And poor George Kennedy, because you feel for him at this point of his career, because he's

[51:18] like, God damn it, I got an Oscar.

[51:21] And now I'm in a movie where people are throwing matted cat puppets at me.

[51:28] And then he actually has to pretend to be dragged off screen for a little bit like the cat.

[51:34] So you can see him kind of scooching across the floor like, you got the shot?

[51:39] You got the shot?

Stuart Wellington

[51:41] There's a great where he just starts blasting around the room and he shoots a liquor bottle.

[51:45] And then after the liquor bottle explodes, you see the cat puppet behind it.

[51:49] And I'm like, whoa, I thought he was just shooting at liquor.

Elliott Kalan

[51:55] And they are they're all very amazed that the cat he's like, it was the cat, the cat.

[51:59] And they're like, there's no way a cat could tear through your shoe, which is reasonable.

[52:02] If anything, that's the most believable thing that's been claimed the entire movie.

[52:06] I don't believe Walter Graham is a millionaire, really, but I believe a cat could shoot through

[52:09] a shoe.

[52:10] Yeah.

[52:10] Did you see that thing?

Stuart Wellington

[52:11] It's all buff.

[52:12] Like, it's all hulked out.

[52:15] It looks like that the cat looks like that that meme of the regular dog and then the big

[52:21] muscly bigger brother.

[52:22] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[52:25] But that cat.

[52:26] So the regular cat is Carrot Top and the puppet inside his mouth is Carrot Top when he got

[52:31] super ripped.

[52:33] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[52:35] Now, Rachel wants to send out a mayday, but Walter takes the gun and shoots the radio,

[52:40] insisting they still go to the Caymans and presumably in Chicago, Gillian and her husband take a

[52:48] drink.

[52:48] Go, go.

S4

[52:50] We're wasted by now because I think that's like the 20th time they've gone to the Caymans.

[52:57] Nothing's going to stop me from getting to the Caymans, as Oscar winner George Kennedy said

[53:03] before being fake dragged off screen by a dust bite ribbon cat.

Elliott Kalan

[53:09] By a cat puppet inside another cat puppet.

[53:12] Double puppet.

Dan McCoy

[53:14] But they manage to turn the tables on, Walter, take the gun, but the engine will not start.

[53:19] And Hedgeworth informs everyone.

[53:21] We do.

Elliott Kalan

[53:21] Wait, we do.

[53:22] And the captain says the immortal line.

[53:24] I think it's in the Wild Bunch.

[53:26] If he moves, shoot his balls off.

[53:28] And that's how that scene ends.

Dan McCoy

[53:30] Hedgeworth tells everyone they're dealing with a mutant cat infection based on the blood

[53:35] he found.

[53:35] Again, a big leap.

[53:37] But they're like, oh, yeah, it's a lab cat.

[53:39] That makes sense.

[53:40] And something starts pressing out of George Kennedy's like sort of like chest stomach area

[53:46] as if like an alien is going to pop up.

[53:47] But nothing pops out.

[53:48] He just dies.

[53:49] And then there's a...

S4

[53:50] Strangely, whenever they start being affected from now on, it looks like they're growing a

[53:57] testicle somewhere out of part of their body.

[54:00] Like it doesn't look scary.

[54:01] It looks like there...

[54:03] Is that what the mutant cat does?

[54:05] Is that its special power?

Elliott Kalan

[54:07] Yeah.

[54:07] It has this ability to create instant goiters in human beings.

[54:10] Yeah.

[54:10] Yes.

[54:11] That's its amazing mutant power in the lab.

[54:13] I wonder if the Pentagon was like, this is the future of warfare.

[54:17] Yeah, yeah.

[54:18] Cats.

[54:18] And when they bite you, you get goiters and testicles all over your body.

[54:21] Make it happen.

Stuart Wellington

[54:22] Yeah, it makes weird bulges and it also makes your veins pop out.

[54:26] And I'm like, I'm sure you guys are like me.

[54:28] You're like, kind of wish that cat would bite my forearms, right?

[54:32] Really make him extra vascular, right?

Elliott Kalan

[54:34] Not really.

[54:36] And Hedgeworth is also like, oh, by the way, if the cat ate food, it would probably contaminate

[54:40] the food.

[54:41] It's not really based on anything.

Dan McCoy

[54:43] Yeah.

[54:43] I thought that was later on.

[54:44] But anyway, the point is, yeah.

[54:47] No, like, yeah.

[54:48] The infections are all like, they've put a bladder under the, like, fake skin and are

[54:54] like squeezing air into it from off camera just to make the skin pulse.

[54:58] But George Kennedy dies.

[55:01] There's a kind of funny shot of all of them, like, from a dead body POV, like, looking up

[55:06] at all the people looking at him.

[55:07] And then a cut to them throwing him off the boat.

[55:10] Well, they wrapped him in a sheet.

Elliott Kalan

[55:11] They bury him at sea, you know?

[55:13] Yeah.

[55:14] The first of multiples of these.

[55:16] Yes.

[55:17] And they go, he's at the Caymans in heaven now.

S4

[55:22] He did make it to the Caymans.

Elliott Kalan

[55:26] I wish one of those, maybe the Caymans was inside all of us the whole time.

[55:30] Oh, wow.

[55:31] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[55:32] So Hedgeworth and Rachel.

Elliott Kalan

[55:34] It turns out the real Caymans was the friends we made along the way.

[55:36] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[55:37] They're trying to fix the boat.

[55:39] The preppy kid's chatting with Walter, who gives him a fancy watch to show off how rich

[55:44] he is.

[55:45] Oh, right.

[55:45] And then opens the wall safe to show all the money.

[55:48] And he's bribing the kid to help him get to the Caymans.

[55:51] And yeah, this is where they find some food crumbs.

[55:54] And Hedgeworth makes the leap that if you eat food that the cat ate, you'll mutate as

[55:59] well.

Elliott Kalan

[56:01] It's too bad they didn't have the budget to have people turn into cats when they mutated.

[56:06] That would have been better if it was like people started turning into cat people.

[56:11] Yeah.

[56:12] There's no joke there.

[56:13] I think that would have been a better movie.

[56:14] And I would have called it Yacht Cats.

[56:17] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[56:18] Curse of the Yacht Cat People.

Elliott Kalan

[56:20] Curse of the Yacht Cat People, which would be a more accurate title since, again, everyone

[56:23] has been invited onto this yacht.

Dan McCoy

[56:25] Susanna, the preppy dude, make out.

[56:27] And he's bragging about how he's got it all worked out.

[56:30] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[56:30] He's been seduced by Walter's, his honeyed words, right?

[56:34] Yeah.

[56:35] The engine's not starting.

Dan McCoy

[56:38] Grima worm-tongued him a little bit.

[56:40] Mm-hmm.

[56:41] This is the make out portion of the movie, because also Bobby and the guy who got shot make out.

[56:47] Lance.

[56:48] Boy, do they make out.

S4

[56:49] Woo.

[56:50] The Foley operator went into overtime on the tongue noises on that one.

Elliott Kalan

[56:56] I did not expect to see their tongues just literally caressing each other like it was an

[57:01] Aeon Flux cartoon.

[57:02] No, it stinks.

[57:03] Just going to lie all over each other.

Dan McCoy

[57:04] I made a student film when I was in college where it had extreme close-up of kissing that

[57:09] was deliberately supposed to be gross.

[57:11] Like, the whole point of it was that he says after the fact.

[57:14] And this was like that.

Elliott Kalan

[57:17] It's kind of like, and this may be saying too much about me, it's kind of like the kissing

[57:21] you see in pornography, where it's for somehow that's the most obscene thing about what you're

[57:26] watching.

[57:26] It's this kind of like over-the-top tongue kissing, and you're like, oh, now I feel weird.

Dan McCoy

[57:33] So he's talking about how he can't feel his arm, so she moves the sheet to look at it, and

[57:39] the cat is there gnawing at his fingers.

[57:41] Yeah, it's awesome.

[57:43] That's the best moment in the whole movie, is how they didn't notice that this cat was

Elliott Kalan

[57:48] just chewing on his fingers.

Dan McCoy

[57:50] And so he knows that he's poisoned, and so in sort of a combination of like a noble sacrifice

[57:56] and just panicking, he jumps off the boat, but he also knocks Bobby off.

[58:02] Now this is a serious question, guys.

Stuart Wellington

[58:04] Yeah.

[58:05] So he is freaking out.

[58:07] He keeps saying over and over, he keeps complaining about his poisoned blood.

[58:11] Do you think, okay, do you think this is a reference to the 2017 EP by the band Witch Vomit titled

[58:17] Poisoned Blood?

[58:18] Like, was it a little Easter egg for fans?

[58:20] Yeah, wait, so when did it come out?

[58:23] 2017.

Dan McCoy

[58:24] Yeah, I think the answer is in the question, as they sometimes say.

Stuart Wellington

[58:29] So it was like a Nostradamus thing where it predicted it?

[58:32] Yeah.

[58:33] Okay, cool.

Elliott Kalan

[58:35] Much as in Gillian's new show, Utopia, there is a comic book that seems to have clues to

[58:41] future events.

[58:42] In this movie, there are a number of hidden clues to future death metal releases.

[58:46] Uh-huh, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[58:50] Yeah, so they, the other guys...

[58:52] And by the way, good guess, dude, it is a death metal release.

[58:55] Oh, nice.

Elliott Kalan

[58:55] I mean, I don't know if that's so much a guess as like a context clues knowing what you

[58:59] listen to, but you know.

[59:01] Yeah, that's fair.

[59:01] That's fair.

Dan McCoy

[59:02] They dive in trying to find Bobby, but she apparently cannot swim.

[59:08] She is gone as well.

[59:09] Uh-huh.

[59:10] And Suzanne starts to panic.

[59:12] They're all going to die on the boat, which seems reasonable.

[59:16] Unreasonable is she starts throwing accusations around that other people are at fault for bringing

[59:20] the cat on board.

[59:23] Walter is released from quarters because they need help to find the cat.

[59:27] And the preppy and Walter are looking around the boat, leaving poison sardines everywhere.

[59:33] At one point, the prep kid says, the hunt is still the hunt.

[59:37] I don't know what that means.

Elliott Kalan

[59:39] He's just trying to look cool in front of Walter Graham at this point.

Stuart Wellington

[59:43] That's the thing.

[59:43] Even though he knows that he doesn't want to impress him, he still kind of does.

[59:47] Like it's a subconscious thing.

Elliott Kalan

[59:51] Mm-hmm.

[59:51] Probably.

[59:51] And this is when we see my second...

[59:54] No, actually, this is my first favorite meal in the movie.

[59:57] Yeah.

[59:57] Even more so than the inexplicable banana that Walter Graham is eating at the party earlier.

[1:00:02] When the captain is...

[1:00:04] There's not a lot of food left.

[1:00:06] And so she's serving Suzanne and Walter Graham like handfuls of cereal and like half full

[1:00:12] glasses of champagne.

[1:00:14] Yeah.

[1:00:15] Cornflakes of dinner.

[1:00:16] This is their dinner.

S4

[1:00:17] Well, because they've also run out of fresh water, which no one seems at first very concerned

[1:00:23] about at all.

[1:00:24] Like they're more concerned about the breakfast cereal shortage than they are about the fact

[1:00:29] that they have no water and are in the middle of the ocean.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:34] I feel like Cornflakes and Champagne is like a Jill Walsh single or something.

[1:00:40] Or it's like Jerry Seinfeld's idea of a celebratory meal.

[1:00:43] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:45] And wait, oh Dan, or before this, did the captain and Hedgeworth have their first kiss?

[1:00:51] Or I can't remember what the order is.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:52] There was some point at which he kisses her on the forehead.

[1:00:55] I don't remember other kisses, but...

[1:00:59] There's one other official kiss.

S4

[1:01:01] The official boyfriend-girlfriend kiss as they're hunting the cat.

[1:01:06] This was Cornflakes.

[1:01:07] With Cornflakes.

[1:01:08] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:10] And Suzanne's getting really jumpy in the scene.

[1:01:12] And she's like spilling champagne on her hands and licking it off.

[1:01:15] And she started looking like a cat.

[1:01:17] So maybe she is turning into a cat.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:18] Yeah.

[1:01:19] Could be.

[1:01:20] So in the course of trying to find and kill the cat, the prep kid shoots a hole in the boat and then shoots a boiler which explodes on him.

[1:01:31] Yeah.

[1:01:31] And then the cat attacks him and there's a hard cut to them throwing another body off the boat, which I thought was hilarious.

[1:01:39] They really should have made that more of a joke.

[1:01:41] It's obviously hilarious.

[1:01:42] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:45] It's in like a dictionary for comedic editing.

[1:01:49] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:50] That was pretty good.

[1:01:51] The cat chews through a metal wall to get their last Cornflakes and Waffle Mix, which is what they have locked up.

[1:02:00] Yeah.

[1:02:00] Suzanne.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:01] This millionaire's boat, he had fresh fruit for one party and then the rest of his food stores were just like, yeah, Cornflakes and Waffle Mix.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:10] And these sardines that they could poison.

[1:02:12] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:13] Those might have come pre-poisoned.

[1:02:14] I don't know who does this guy's grocery shopping, but.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:18] At this point, Suzanne has gone totally nuts and she has, she does not believe that the food is contaminated.

[1:02:25] Yeah.

[1:02:26] She thinks that the others are hoarding it and everyone's nerves are fraying.

[1:02:30] Walter slaps Rachel, which causes her to drop her keys, which Suzanne takes to get the food.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:36] The first scene is like Walter gives this tour de force of lines.

[1:02:41] I think at one point he says, well, at least you're being consistent at being a bitch.

[1:02:49] And then later on when Suzanne's having her crazy laughing, he's like, what are you laughing about?

[1:02:54] You're going to die.

[1:02:55] Ha ha ha ha.

[1:02:56] Ha ha ha.

[1:02:56] It's tough.

[1:02:58] That's like, that must have been his audition tape.

[1:03:00] I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:01] Ha ha ha.

[1:03:02] Yeah.

[1:03:03] Well, Suzanne eats the contaminated food and sure enough, her neck veins start throbbing and pop open and she's gone to, unfortunately, no cut to her being thrown off the boat.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:14] No, instead there's a hard cut to a lightning storm, which for a moment I thought a different movie had started playing.

[1:03:20] There's no build up to it.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:22] Yeah.

[1:03:24] They discover the hole in the hull from before, the one that was shot there that has grown bigger.

[1:03:29] I had thought that the movie had forgotten that this existed, but the boat is sinking and they're loading some of the money into the lifeboat, but Walter goes back for more and he is killed by the cat.

[1:03:41] And Hedgeworth finds him.

[1:03:43] He and Rachel get on the lifeboat and the mutant cat jumps onto the boat.

[1:03:48] This is great.

[1:03:49] Uh-huh.

[1:03:50] They throw it off and then it comes back on again.

[1:03:54] They throw it off and then Hedgeworth-

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:55] It attacks both of them in turn.

[1:03:56] She's like, we're okay.

[1:03:58] And Hedgeworth goes, I don't think it's over yet.

[1:04:00] And then the cat climbs on board again.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:03] And they figure out that it's because the lifeboat is the only floating object around.

[1:04:08] So they toss one of the briefcases of money over for the cat to cling to as it floats off.

[1:04:15] He's like, bye-bye.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:18] Cue celebratory music.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:20] Yeah.

[1:04:20] And we get some very classic toy boat in a bathtub special effects here for the sinking of the yacht.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:28] I do believe that they- I looked up some trivia for this.

[1:04:31] I think that they said that the director filmed some of this in his pool, which makes sense.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:36] Oh, okay.

[1:04:36] I thought you were going to say that the director sank a yacht for this movie.

[1:04:39] He sank a whole yacht.

S4

[1:04:41] No, you're thinking of Caddyshack.

[1:04:42] I did not have the budget for that.

[1:04:44] All the budget was going to the ADR for the cat, including a trigger warning.

[1:04:50] I should say, if you're annoyed by cat meows, the trigger warning, because on screen, off screen, the cat just continues going meow, meow.

[1:05:01] Like, even when the cat is a close-up of the live cat and its mouth is clearly closed, it's still meowing.

[1:05:08] It's like, in addition to mutating him, they taught him the ancient art of ventriloquism because he could throw his voice even.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:17] Well, it's also like the same five meows that they just keep looping, basically.

[1:05:22] Like, you can tell that they just got a very few cat sounds and kept reusing them throughout the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:30] Yeah, it's the metronome of the movie.

[1:05:32] It's what keeps the pace up, keeps the tension up.

[1:05:35] It's similar to what they did in Dunkirk, is that they looped in a meowing sound in the background just to keep you tense on the edge of your seat.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:43] It's similar to in Wet Hot American Summer, how they have the same sound effect of something shattering whenever things are thrown off screen.

[1:05:49] And here it's just that cat, just that cat sound effect.

[1:05:51] And you know that they were like, the production manager was like, this is what we can afford.

[1:05:58] We can either have one more cat sound or we can get a banana.

[1:06:03] What's it going to be?

[1:06:04] And Graydon Clark's like, well, the banana really makes that scene.

[1:06:07] Okay, cut the other cat sound.

[1:06:08] We'll make do with what we have.

[1:06:09] And then in the edit, they were like, why did I make that choice?

[1:06:12] Why did I go with the banana instead of the cat sound?

Dan McCoy

[1:06:16] Okay, so we're at the final couple scenes.

[1:06:20] Hedgeworth and Rachel have made it to safety.

[1:06:24] They're talking to an official on the island.

[1:06:25] They have some of the money still from this.

[1:06:29] So they've come out pretty well.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:31] It must be a million dollars is what she says when they're in the lifeboat and they open the case and it's pouring rain.

[1:06:37] Like she doesn't skip a beat.

[1:06:39] The thing is barely open and she already is guessing.

[1:06:42] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:42] And what they can buy with it.

[1:06:44] And then they have transferred the money to the empty gym bag that they made sure to throw into the lifeboat.

[1:06:49] As they were escaping a sinking ship with a monster cat on it.

[1:06:52] She was like, we might have to do some shopping along the way.

[1:06:56] So I guess I'll bring this empty bag with us.

[1:06:58] Oh, thank goodness I did.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:59] An empty gym bag, which is similar in a lot of ways to the way that the cat's skin is shed when the little tiny muscle cat jumps out of its body.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:07] But the local officials dismiss any talk of mutant cat as sea madness.

[1:07:14] They don't believe it actually happened.

S4

[1:07:16] May I please add my fun fact, my uninvited fun fact here?

[1:07:22] Which is the actor who plays the official in, where have they gotten to again?

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:28] Did they make it to the cannons or is it someplace else?

[1:07:30] I don't know.

[1:07:30] I didn't recognize that.

[1:07:31] I don't know my Caribbean flag.

[1:07:32] I wish they said where they were going.

S4

[1:07:34] But is played by none other than Austin Stoker, who is Ethan Bishop in Assault on Precinct 13.

[1:07:43] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:07:44] The best actor they have going.

[1:07:46] And they give him two lines.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:48] That's great.

[1:07:49] That's crazy.

[1:07:49] Terrible.

[1:07:51] Okay, so we cut to the briefcase last scene.

[1:07:54] We cut to the briefcase washed up on a beach.

[1:07:57] And a kid runs, a little boy picks up a cat.

[1:08:01] But this cat looks totally different from the other cat.

[1:08:05] It is black and short-haired, whereas the other one is orange and long-haired.

[1:08:09] So I have no idea what's going on here, what we're supposed to take away from that.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:14] Yeah, and then it freezes on the child making a weird face.

[1:08:21] Like, not an ominous face.

[1:08:23] This is a kid who's like, are we still shooting?

[1:08:25] And they freeze right there and we're terrified.

[1:08:28] And then, what, guitar sting, credits.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:30] Yeah, yeah, and Mutant Cat will return in Uninvited 2, still uninvited.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:35] Still invited at this point.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:39] Uninvited 2 must have been lost in the mail, you know.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:43] Guys, we've come to the final judgments portion.

[1:08:48] Is this movie, and I'm going to use the special Shocktober categories.

[1:08:54] Cool.

[1:08:54] Well, it's more appropriate this time.

[1:08:56] Totally scarifying.

[1:08:58] Totally snorifying.

[1:09:00] Or frighteningly funny.

[1:09:03] Elliot, I'm going to ask you first.

[1:09:04] I'm going to switch it up.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:05] Oh, okay.

[1:09:06] I'm going to say, well, now that we've made it to the Cayman Islands of Final Judgment,

[1:09:09] where we've been heading this whole time,

[1:09:11] I'm going to say I thought this movie was frighteningly funny.

[1:09:13] It is, especially if, like Gillian or like me, you have a weakness for 80s things,

[1:09:21] and things that are every frame of it screams it's the 1980s.

[1:09:25] This is especially, I don't know.

[1:09:28] I mean, if you don't find really weird cat demon puppets that come out of other cat puppets' mouths,

[1:09:34] but make the same sound effect over and over again.

[1:09:36] If that's not funny to you, then maybe I don't understand humor.

[1:09:38] But I would say frighteningly funny.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:42] Yeah, just really quick.

[1:09:43] I'm going to toss in frighteningly funny.

[1:09:45] Frighteningly funny.

[1:09:46] I agree.

[1:09:47] Stuart, what do you say?

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:48] Yeah, I'm with you.

[1:09:50] It's so silly, and yet there's different, even though it's cheap, it's not all stuck on the same location.

[1:10:00] There's a lot of really weird characters, a lot of weird choices.

[1:10:04] Yeah, it's super funny.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:07] And Gillian, you suggested this.

[1:10:10] I can only assume this is your favorite movie ever made.

S4

[1:10:13] Yeah, I mean, I actually have a different category, actually, which is, you know, invite me to Uninvited, I would say.

[1:10:24] If you like your ham like you like your perms, Spirals, this is the 80s film for you.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:30] Yep.

[1:10:31] Put it on the box.

[1:10:32] Put that blurb on the box.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:33] That was what I was thinking.

[1:10:34] If they ever release Uninvited, best-selling author, Gillian Flynn.

[1:10:40] Flynn says, if you like your ham, if you like your perms.

[1:10:45] And people are in, I guess they're not in a video store, they're scrolling through, and they're like, what?

[1:10:51] What does this mean?

[1:10:52] I don't understand this blurb.

[1:10:53] Yeah, when you're scrolling, are there blurbs, or do you?

[1:10:56] I don't know.

[1:10:57] I don't know.

[1:10:59] What do we do with blurbs these days?

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:01] Yeah, Dan, do your type 5 on blurbs.

[1:11:03] It was nice to watch.

[1:11:06] It's been a while since we've gotten to watch a genuine, weird, cheesy 80s horror movie.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:13] Yeah, thank you for suggesting this.

[1:11:15] I have been wanting to see this for a while, and some friends of mine actually showed it at a movie night I was at,

[1:11:21] but it was the third movie.

[1:11:23] It was starting after, it was like 1 a.m., and it was at a party.

[1:11:28] Like, I'd been drinking, like, I fell asleep immediately, so thank you for giving me a second chance at Uninvited.

S4

[1:11:35] You are welcome.

[1:11:37] Anytime.

[1:11:38] I've got a long list of 80s horror films, so have me on next year.

[1:11:44] Oh, Dan, we hold you to that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:46] That'll be a Shocktober tradition.

[1:11:49] And speaking of traditions, Dan, traditionally, this is the part of the show where we do something else, right?

[1:11:54] Well, let's...

[1:11:55] How's that for a segue?

[1:11:56] How's that for a segue, and anything can follow it.

[1:11:58] That's right.

[1:11:59] Well...

[1:11:59] Just come down to Kalen's General Segways.

[1:12:01] We got segways for any occasion.

[1:12:03] Goddamn.

[1:12:04] Please don't, and I apologize to anyone who comes down to rent a segue for a tour.

[1:12:08] We actually, that's not the kind of segue we have.

[1:12:10] We do not have personal mobility devices.

[1:12:13] Okay.

[1:12:13] And people come by, and I always, they get so disappointed, and I apologize.

[1:12:17] But if you want a conversational segue, come on down to Elliot's Segway Rentals.

[1:12:20] You do have to return them.

[1:12:21] It's just a rental.

[1:12:22] Return the segue that you rented.

[1:12:23] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:23] Are you feeling elevated levels of anxiety?

S5

[1:12:33] Do you quake uncontrollably, even thinking about watching cable news?

[1:12:37] Do you have disturbing nightmares, only to realize it's two in the afternoon and you're up?

[1:12:43] If you've experienced one or more of these symptoms, you may have FNO.

[1:12:48] F*** news overload.

[1:12:50] Fortunately, there's treatment.

[1:12:52] Hi.

[1:12:53] I'm Dave Holmes, host of Troubled Waters.

[1:12:56] Troubled Waters helps fight FNO.

[1:12:58] That's because Troubled Waters stimulates your joy zone.

[1:13:01] On Troubled Waters, two comedians will battle one another for pop culture supremacy.

[1:13:06] So join me, Dave Holmes, for two, two, two doses of Troubled Waters a month.

[1:13:12] The cure for your f*** news overload.

[1:13:16] Available on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

S7

[1:13:21] Hey, you've reached Dr. Game Show.

[1:13:23] Leave your message after the beep.

S6

[1:13:27] Dr. Game Show is my favorite podcast and the only podcast my parents want me to listen to

[1:13:32] because I'm 12, but even old people of this show.

[1:13:35] Basically, you call in, play games, and have fun.

[1:13:39] If you win a game, a baby will send you a magnet in the mail.

[1:13:42] I have so many magnets and put them all over my locker and pretty much everyone at school

[1:13:47] is jealous because they are very cool custom magnets and it also means that I'm really good

[1:13:51] at winning games.

[1:13:52] And they even let me practice my record live on the air.

[1:13:58] Listening to this show is like going to a real doctor, but pretty much kind of better.

[1:14:03] Dr. Game Show rocks!

[1:14:08] Listen to Dr. Game Show on Maximum Fun.

[1:14:11] New episodes every other Wednesday.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:14] We have a few sponsors, as always, for our show this week.

[1:14:21] Elliot, I believe you have the first advertisement.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:25] I do, and I'm happy to tell people that this week, the Flophouse's podcast is brought to

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[1:15:26] Guys, I have to tell you, I took advantage of this service.

[1:15:29] I had an idea for a website based on this movie.

[1:15:31] It was called whatsinmycatsesophagus.com.

[1:15:33] Cats these days, they've got all sorts of things stuck in their esophaguses.

[1:15:37] Mouse chunks, hairballs, little demon monsters.

[1:15:39] Well, now at whatsinmycatsesophagus.com, you can find out what that is.

[1:15:44] It's your place on the internet to identify what's in that cat's esophagus and share pictures,

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Stuart Wellington

[1:15:51] Do you scan it like a QR code or something and it tells you?

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:56] We don't have that technology yet.

[1:15:58] It's more of a picture uploading site, but we'll get to that eventually.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:01] Yeah, I just figured we were blue sky in right now.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:03] Yeah, sure, sure.

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Stuart Wellington

[1:16:28] Stuart?

[1:16:29] Now, are you like me?

[1:16:30] Are you a cat person?

[1:16:33] What?

[1:16:33] I don't mean a person who's half cat, half person.

[1:16:36] That would be strange.

[1:16:37] No, I'm talking about a person who loves cats or possibly you're trapped on a yacht with

[1:16:42] a cat or a cat with a demon cat monster in it.

[1:16:45] Well, what I am here today to talk to you about is about a little brand called kittypooclub.com.

[1:16:54] Kittypoo Club provides a simple, easy, recyclable litter box that is pre-filled.

[1:17:02] It's high quality and affordable, and it comes with a litter of your choice.

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[1:17:13] When the month is up, you just recycle the box and Kittypoo Club will automatically deliver

[1:17:17] you a new one.

[1:17:19] No changing used litter and no more cleaning the box.

[1:17:22] Because that's the thing.

[1:17:23] When you're trapped on a yacht, the last thing you want to deal with is an overflowing litter

[1:17:28] box.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:29] Yeah, better just have them be delivering new litter boxes to your yacht in the middle of

[1:17:32] the ocean.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:33] Exactly.

[1:17:34] That's a much better option.

[1:17:36] You don't want to run out of litter or have an overflowing box, as I've already mentioned.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:41] Now, Stuart, they provide everything but the poo, right?

[1:17:43] They don't send you poo?

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:45] They do not provide the poo.

[1:17:46] I believe your cat creates that through natural processes.

[1:17:51] So Kittypoo Club is offering you, that's you right now, you, 20% off your first order

[1:17:57] when you set up auto ship by going to kittypooclub.com and entering promo code FLOP, F-L-O-P.

[1:18:05] Just go to kittypooclub.com and enter the promo code FLOP, and then you get 20% off when

[1:18:11] you set up auto ship.

[1:18:14] kittypooclub.com, promo code FLOP.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:18] Now, I have a couple of jumbotrons here.

[1:18:22] Uh-huh.

[1:18:22] The first one is for Peter Regan, or perhaps Regan, I'm not sure.

[1:18:29] It's from Tom, and Tom writes,

[1:18:34] Oh, honored eldest brother, I hope you have time to listen to podcasts while on lockdown

[1:18:39] with two kids or I just burnt $100.

[1:18:45] That's a reasonable fear.

[1:18:47] Yeah.

[1:18:48] Between you living in Ohio, my realizing that I'm an alcoholic and COVID-19, we probably won't

[1:18:54] make it to Hinterlands for a drink anytime soon.

[1:18:56] That's my bar.

[1:18:56] So I figured this was the next best thing.

[1:18:59] Maybe Stu can recommend a mocktail.

[1:19:03] Do you have a mocktail for them?

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:05] Ooh, a mocktail.

[1:19:06] That's a little difficult since I normally just pour a ton of booze in a glass with ice and

[1:19:11] then drink it while crying.

[1:19:12] But let's see.

[1:19:15] I would do a splash of, I would do ginger beer.

[1:19:19] I would do a splash of pineapple juice.

[1:19:25] And I would do some whipped cream.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:29] Oh, nice.

[1:19:30] Okay.

[1:19:30] Interesting.

[1:19:31] It's a treat.

[1:19:33] It is a treat.

[1:19:35] Now this next message is for Mitchell, last name withheld, from Jacob, last name withheld.

[1:19:41] And the message is,

[1:19:42] Hey bud, small timber and or Vimber has come and gone and Shocktober is ripe in the air.

[1:19:49] You know what that means?

[1:19:50] Your birthday.

[1:19:52] What better way to celebrate than a shout out straight from a flopper's mouth?

[1:19:56] Specifically me in this case.

[1:19:58] Thanks for being an awesome brother and an even better dungeon master.

[1:20:03] May this year bring good health and good fortune.

[1:20:06] Catch you on the flippity flop.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:09] So those are...

[1:20:10] The role of dungeon master is more important than brother, right?

Dan McCoy

[1:20:15] Well, you're guiding them like through life.

[1:20:18] I don't guide my brothers at all.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:20] Well, you're the younger brother, Dan, so it would be strange if you were guiding your brothers.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:24] I mean, you haven't ever met my brothers, so...

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:29] I mean, I haven't met them, actually, now that I think about it.

[1:20:32] And I often guide my brother, which is why I was able to mold him into my exact opposite.

[1:20:37] A sports-loving slob.

[1:20:39] I shouldn't say slob.

[1:20:40] A sports-loving, let's just say...

Dan McCoy

[1:20:44] He was a little slobby, but then, you know, the love of a good woman turned him around, I think.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:49] That's true.

[1:20:50] She's fighting me for control of him now, and I'm not liking it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:53] So...

[1:20:54] Yeah, I mean, when he was born, you saw him as like a Tabula Raza, right?

[1:20:58] Like a real fixer-upper?

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:59] I saw him as a Tabula Ra's al Ghul.

[1:21:02] I thought he was a blank slate that I could turn into a Batman villain.

[1:21:05] Yeah.

[1:21:05] Named the Sportsman.

[1:21:07] Now, he's a Batman villain who's themed around sports, but mainly sports bar trivia.

[1:21:12] So he steals things...

[1:21:13] I mean, I assume that's from the title.

[1:21:14] And he's like, Batman, I'll give back the diamond if you can answer this question.

[1:21:18] Which teams played in the 31st Super Bowl?

[1:21:22] And Batman would be like, uh, I don't know, I'm not really into sports.

[1:21:25] And that would be the end of the adventure.

[1:21:26] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:28] And he's like, but you probably own at least one sports team, right?

[1:21:32] I mean, that just goes...

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:33] He's like, just in the WNBA.

[1:21:34] I really want to give those ladies a shot.

[1:21:36] We got to expand the audience base.

[1:21:38] And he's like, okay.

[1:21:39] And the Sportsman's like, I respect that.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:42] Okay, cool.

[1:21:43] So we have a whole character fleshed out.

[1:21:45] I guess we're just waiting on a phone call from DC Comics?

[1:21:50] Or Warner Brothers.

[1:21:51] Maybe they just want to put him straight in the movies.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:53] The Sportsman, David would play it himself.

[1:21:55] Straight to the movies, huh?

[1:21:56] Yeah, yeah.

[1:21:58] Guys, we have another announcement to make.

[1:22:00] This episode is being released the morning of October 24th.

[1:22:03] Saturday, October 24th.

[1:22:04] Which happens to be the same day when we will be doing our newest Flophouse Live Zoom show.

[1:22:10] What?

[1:22:11] It's the Flophouse live in your home tonight.

[1:22:14] October 24th at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[1:22:18] Just go to the Flophouse YouTube page where we'll be streaming.

[1:22:20] We're going to be talking about The Exorcist 2, The Heretic.

[1:22:24] And we'll also be raising money for charity like during our Howard the Duck show.

[1:22:28] You guys were super generous and super attentive during that last show.

[1:22:30] We really appreciate it.

[1:22:31] Please join us tonight, October 24th, 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific for The Exorcist 2, The Heretic.

[1:22:38] It'll be just like a regular Flophouse live show.

[1:22:40] We're each going to do presentations.

[1:22:42] We'll talk about the movie.

[1:22:43] And then at the end, in lieu of a question and answer, we will be taking questions over Twitter that we will answer in real time.

[1:22:50] Not fake time.

[1:22:52] Real time.

[1:22:53] So that's tonight.

[1:22:53] If you're listening to this episode after October 25th, or October 24th, rather, then the show will, if it's not up on the YouTube channel to watch on its own, will still be up.

[1:23:04] You will not be able to interact with us because it will no longer be live.

[1:23:07] Send those questions to Twitter.

[1:23:08] You can attempt to interact.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:09] You can shout at the screen, but no one will hear you.

[1:23:12] Or an uncaring God.

[1:23:14] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:14] And I will find your questions on Twitter and I will print them out and then throw them over my shoulder laughing because I don't have to answer them.

[1:23:20] So that's Flophouse Live tonight, October 24th.

[1:23:23] The Exorcist 2.

[1:23:24] The Heretic.

[1:23:25] Be there and be scared.

[1:23:29] Maybe?

[1:23:30] Yeah.

[1:23:31] Yeah.

[1:23:32] We'll find out.

[1:23:33] I also want to mention that I have my new children's book, Sharko and Hippo.

[1:23:36] It's in stores now.

[1:23:37] Order it through your local independent bookstore.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:40] Yeah.

[1:23:41] Do it.

[1:23:41] And if you want to support any of either of my two bars, you can go to either Hinterland's bar or Minnie's bar and pick up to-go drinks where we're sitting there patio, I'm assuming, unless things change in the next week or so.

[1:23:55] And you can also email hinterlandsbarmerch at gmail.com because we are selling t-shirts and hoodies over the internet.

[1:24:07] Currently, we're only shipping to the U.S., but that might change depending on whether or not we get stamps.com.

[1:24:14] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:15] And I'll say, you know, like, Stuart's probably loath to make too naked a plea, so I will make a naked plea.

[1:24:24] Thank you.

[1:24:24] It's a hard time for-

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:25] It's the only thing that Stuart is loath to do naked.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:28] Yeah, it is.

[1:24:28] Literally, yeah.

[1:24:29] I've seen him in so few clothes.

[1:24:31] But, like, it is a hard time for people in the restaurant and bar industry, so if you can support those enterprises in any way you can, please do.

[1:24:40] And now we shall return to the fun parts of the show.

[1:24:44] This is Letters, the part of the show where we read letters from you, listeners.

[1:24:50] Not you specifically, necessarily, unless we read your letters.

[1:24:54] Possibly, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:55] Dan pulls out the giant mailbag that you have in your apartment at 123 Fake Street, and you pull out a random letter that you have not pre-screened in any way.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:04] And I say, all for Santa Claus.

[1:25:09] This is from John, last name withheld, who writes,

[1:25:13] At dinner tonight, my wife said she was in the mood for an 80s movie.

[1:25:17] Hey, 80s movie.

[1:25:18] So we settled on Footloose.

[1:25:20] I searched YouTube for a clip of the excellent opening theme because I wanted to announce our decision on Facebook,

[1:25:27] knowing that all of my friends and family really care a lot about what movie we're going to watch tonight.

[1:25:31] Anyway, I came across the trailer for the 2011 Footloose remake that I didn't even know existed.

[1:25:40] It has Dennis Quaid as the Reverend originally played by John Lithgow, and an otherwise unremarkable cast.

[1:25:48] There are shot-for-shot cuts, along with dialogue and sequences straight from the original.

[1:25:52] The main difference that I could see was more twerking, and on a positive note, some roles for minority characters that aren't just extras.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:01] I wish, wait, knowing there's twerking in it now, I wish they'd just gone all the way and called it Butt Loose.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:07] That was the one that was directed by the Hustle & Flow guy, right?

[1:26:13] Craig Brewer?

[1:26:14] I think so.

[1:26:15] I think you're right.

[1:26:16] I don't like putting the words butt and loose together for the title of the movie, Elliot, I gotta say.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:23] I mean, it's everyone's dream for the business they do with their butt to be loose and easy,

[1:26:28] to have a simple flow that doesn't need to be thought about.

[1:26:30] Hi, I'm Elliot Kalin from Constipation Aid.

[1:26:32] No, stop it.

[1:26:33] Have you ever had, yeah?

Dan McCoy

[1:26:34] No.

[1:26:35] John continues,

[1:26:36] I know that Footloose is one of the pentacles of Western artistic expression,

[1:26:40] but I can't, for the life of me, figure out why it needed a remake.

[1:26:45] I'm guessing it's some sort of nostalgic cash-in targeted at Gen Xers and older millennials.

[1:26:51] A part of me wants to see it out of curiosity, but if I ever do, I will not be paying for it.

[1:26:55] What would you say is the most unnecessary remake,

[1:26:58] and or what's a remake that never needed to be made, but actually turned out to be a good movie?

[1:27:05] John, last name withheld.

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:09] I mean, I'm going to answer why it got remade.

[1:27:13] I think it's money.

[1:27:15] I think it's because they owned it and they wanted to make money off of it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:19] Well, they said, here's a name that exists already,

[1:27:22] so we're taking less of a chance with it than we would with a new thing.

[1:27:25] Much like they thought when they made the original Footloose, which was a remake of,

[1:27:29] and they searched through their files and they said, it's not a remake of anything.

[1:27:31] How is that possible?

[1:27:32] Why is this paperwork missing?

[1:27:34] It reminds me of my imaginary conversation with J.J. Abrams when that second Star Trek movie came out,

[1:27:40] where I was like, you could come up with a new bad guy.

[1:27:42] You don't have to use Khan.

[1:27:44] It could be like another bad guy.

[1:27:45] And he said, this is just something in your imagination.

[1:27:48] I don't have a response to that.

[1:27:49] And I said, then I consider it a win.

[1:27:51] And I turned over and went to sleep.

[1:27:54] But Stuart, what's a remake you think is unnecessary?

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:57] I mean, like we did the RoboCop remake here on the show,

[1:28:03] and it was pretty bland.

[1:28:04] And RoboCop is such a singular, wonderful experience.

[1:28:08] It obviously didn't need to be remade.

[1:28:11] What about you guys?

[1:28:12] I will say that a remake that, or a remake, I guess, or reimagining that works is the new Suspiria, which I love.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:21] Oh, yeah.

[1:28:22] That's a really good one.

[1:28:23] Yeah, I'm going to answer the second question because I found that easier to think about.

[1:28:28] The Ocean's Eleven remake is so much superior to the first one that people forget that there was a first one.

[1:28:35] The first one is just the Rat Pack hanging out.

[1:28:37] And there's a certain pleasantness to that.

[1:28:42] And it's got a great ending.

[1:28:43] But otherwise, it's just kind of interminable.

[1:28:47] Whereas the Soderbergh one is breezy and fun.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:51] Is that the one where, at the end of it, at the original, Frank Sinatra sees the Statue of Liberty at the New York Casino

[1:28:56] and realizes it was Earth the whole time?

[1:28:58] Yeah.

[1:28:58] Yep.

[1:28:59] Yeah.

[1:28:59] Yep.

[1:29:01] I was thinking about the—I mean, there's a lot of unnecessary remakes because there's almost never—nothing has to be remade.

[1:29:07] There's never—there's no—there's almost never a movie where, like, the world would be out of joint if something was remade.

[1:29:13] But I threw my mind back to Gus Van Sant's Psycho remake, which I know he was doing as kind of like an art experiment, I guess.

[1:29:20] But it was really—it was a strange choice to remake a very good movie shot for shot.

[1:29:28] And only to add that—the only thing you're adding is that Vince Vaughn masturbates, where Norman Bates did not masturbate on camera.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:34] But his last name is Bates, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:37] Good point.

[1:29:38] That's a good point.

[1:29:39] That's just money on the table.

[1:29:41] And the—but it feels like if he had remade—like, there's something about remaking a not-good movie shot for shot.

[1:29:48] I mean, like, I don't—I didn't—I was not the hugest fan of the Disaster Artist movie, but taking something that—where you have to really try hard to remake the mistakes in something.

[1:29:57] It's kind of an interesting idea.

[1:29:59] But there's a bunch of movies where the remakes—it didn't have to be remade, but, like, the remakes would, like—the remake of 310 to Yuma is a real strong Western adventure.

[1:30:08] And there was no need for Peter Jackson to make a new King Kong, but I actually liked that King Kong a lot.

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:13] And you love the remake of Taking a Pelham 123, right?

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:16] No.

[1:30:17] Would not fall in that category.

[1:30:18] Not a fan of that one.

[1:30:19] The movie that inexplicably decides to show you an out-of-control train by using slow motion to show the train going around a corner.

[1:30:27] But—and, like, the new Planet of the Apes movie, it's like—the old Planet of the Apes movies are great, but the new ones, they took it in a new direction.

[1:30:34] I don't know about, like, the new new ones, not the Tim Burton Planet of the Apes, which has amazing costumes but doesn't really make sense as a movie.

[1:30:41] Gillian, do you want to join us in possibly offending people we may want to work with in the future by slagging their remakes?

S4

[1:30:48] I will go with one that I just didn't see because the original is so dear to me, which is Point Break.

[1:30:54] And so I have not seen—I should say I've not seen the remake, but I'm just sort of like, I just don't know what else I would want.

[1:31:04] Yeah.

[1:31:05] You know, and anytime anyone says, you know—well, not anytime, but a lot of times when they say, you know, CGI has come so far, for me it's not necessarily—with stunts and special effects, it's not necessarily a selling point.

[1:31:20] Because, you know, I think stuff like John Carpenter's, you know, The Thing, like, to me, I don't want to see that remade with all the latest, you know, evolution of CDI.

[1:31:30] Like, I love the way it was done.

[1:31:32] To me, it's oftentimes scarier.

[1:31:35] You know, but with that, with Point Break, I was like, I don't know, you know, I just—I love the original so much that I—there's some where I'm just like, even if it's wonderful, I still—I'm still going to be watching it with my arms crossed, so.

[1:31:50] Yeah.

[1:31:51] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:31:51] Well, but then also the practical effects in something like The Thing, like, even now, I watch it and, like, you know, I know that there are effects, but the physical—like, not only are they scary, but the physical nature of them makes me watch it and think, like, how did they do that?

[1:32:08] How did they do it?

[1:32:08] Like, those are still incredible and baffling.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:11] I mean, I don't want to get into a physical versus—like, practical versus digital effects argument, but the—oftentimes, I think, that the limitations can cause some interesting creative choices that—like, like Jaws, for instance.

[1:32:27] I was about to say, like Bruce the Shark, yeah.

[1:32:29] Where you're like, there's—but this time you get to see a shitload of that cool-ass shark.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:35] But on the other hand, I heard recently that Billy Crystal's finally going to remake Forget Paris, taking advantage of CGI to—

[1:32:41] to really do what he couldn't do in the original, and I can't wait to see how he takes advantage of it, you know?

[1:32:46] Okay, guys.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:47] The four of us have been tasked.

[1:32:49] We have—we have just been hired to remake Uninvited.

[1:32:53] What are—who do we cast?

[1:32:55] What are we—what are we doing?

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:56] Well, are we going to change the story at all, or are we using the same screenplay?

[1:32:59] Because it seems like there's some script issues that we might have to deal with before we get to casting.

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:04] Uh, maybe.

[1:33:05] I mean, what, more broadly drawn character types?

[1:33:08] I think—

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:09] Bigger teeth for clues.

[1:33:11] Clue, Google, Google, Google, Google, Google's character.

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:12] Is that in the script, or is that part of the casting process?

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:15] In the original script, it says Albert, uh, Albert, 50, uh, a henchman with huge teeth, and Clue, Google, Google, Google was, like, calling his agent, was like, I don't think I have big enough teeth for this role.

[1:33:26] Clue, don't worry, they'll figure it out.

[1:33:27] They really want you to read for this part.

[1:33:29] Okay, but just—

[1:33:30] How do I get across the big teeth?

[1:33:32] Clue, you're the—you're the artist.

[1:33:33] Just figure it out.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:34] You know, just, you know, like, physical transformation.

[1:33:38] Maybe by, like, the way you, like, hunch your back will, like, make your teeth look bigger.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:42] It'll make your teeth more prominent.

[1:33:44] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:45] Um, okay, moving on to the next and final letter.

[1:33:48] Chris' last name withheld writes,

[1:33:51] Hey, peaches.

[1:33:52] Uh, and in the connection,

[1:33:54] Hey, Chris.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:54] I recently saw the taking of Pelham123 and realized how much I loved the film's use of New York City's geography and infrastructure.

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:04] Hey, wait, pause.

[1:34:05] I have an idea for this remake.

[1:34:06] What?

[1:34:06] Now, the big difference is in, at the very end, when, uh, you know, they've already punched the, the cat monster off, uh, the rowboat once.

[1:34:15] He climbs back up, and he's like, they're like, oh, no, it's not over yet.

[1:34:18] Then the cat monster opens his mouth, and there's a second cat monster inside his mouth.

[1:34:22] That's how you know it's not your dad.

[1:34:24] He's uninvited.

[1:34:25] Yep.

[1:34:26] Extra cat monsters.

[1:34:28] Uh, it's cat monsters all the way down.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:30] Uh, uh, I recently saw the taking of Pelham123, 1974.

[1:34:36] Uh, the writer clarifies.

[1:34:38] The classic one, the original, yeah.

[1:34:40] Uh, likes the use of New York City's geography and infrastructure.

[1:34:45] I've often found films that really play with the city's geography, particularly engaging and exciting, including Dirty Harry in San Francisco.

[1:34:52] I'll be at problematic film, as he says.

[1:34:55] Uh, and Motherless Brooklyn with New York.

[1:34:58] Are there any movies you think are especially effective in the way they use the geography and space of their location?

[1:35:05] Chris, last name withheld.

[1:35:06] Uh, I will pander to our guests for a moment.

[1:35:09] I don't know in Widows whether it was in the screenplay or a directorial choice, but I found very striking the scene where, um, they're driving from the underprivileged neighborhood to the much more privileged neighborhood where, uh, is it Colin Farrell's character?

[1:35:25] Yeah.

[1:35:26] Uh, and the camera remains outside of the car for the entire conversation.

[1:35:31] You can see the neighborhoods change.

[1:35:35] Um, and I thought that was, uh, uh, a very striking, uh, choice that was made.

S4

[1:35:41] Um, why, thank you.

[1:35:44] Uh, yeah, no, I mean, I love, I live in Chicago and, uh, Steve wanting to film it in Chicago.

[1:35:51] I just, for me, Chicago's just such a great, that's why, I mean, I think Widows came out right when I was trying to convince Amazon that we could film the utopia, um, in Chicago.

[1:36:06] And I think, you know, it's, Widows is such a dirty Valentine to Chicago.

[1:36:11] You know, the, the city has such strange and layered architecture and, you know, it basically is a prairie town with skyscrapers.

[1:36:22] So the shadows and the light at certain times are just, you can use them so well.

[1:36:27] And, and the different neighborhoods are so distinctive, you know, even from, even movies like the fugitive that use Chicago and use it well are, you know, some of those, uh, little locations that they go to are, you know, it's like,

[1:36:41] you would only find that building in Chicago.

[1:36:43] And so it's why I always get so disappointed when, you know, you're see a movie and it's like skyline of Chicago.

[1:36:50] And then the camera goes down and you're like, that's Toronto.

[1:36:54] That's not Chicago.

[1:36:57] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:58] They're eating, uh, they're eating hot dogs with poutine all over them.

[1:37:00] And you're like, what this?

[1:37:02] And you're like, there should be celery salt on that.

Dan McCoy

[1:37:04] Not poutine.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:07] Why aren't they eating pizza stew?

[1:37:09] What's going on?

Dan McCoy

[1:37:11] I also want to say this is a, uh, uh, I feel like a less seen movie than I would like.

[1:37:16] Uh, I really liked premium rush.

[1:37:18] Elliot and I saw it, uh, when we were at a convention, uh, talked it up and then one of our coworkers saw it and would not stop talking about how much he hated premium rush.

[1:37:28] Now we thought we were idiots, but I love that movie for weeks.

[1:37:31] For weeks.

[1:37:32] He was mad at us for recommending that movie to him.

[1:37:35] But what I liked about that movie was, look, it doesn't matter.

[1:37:39] I mean, movies are, they make up the geography all the time, but one of the fun things about it is how accurate that movie is about New York geography.

[1:37:46] Uh, for a movie that's all about like getting from uptown to downtown, they are very careful about that.

[1:37:51] And it's, it's part of the fun.

[1:37:53] I think.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:53] I was going to mention premium rush also with, I know New York geography much better than other places because I lived there for so long, but like also the way the warriors uses New York where I remember like they would show the warriors on monster vision.

[1:38:07] Joe Bob Briggs would follow along with their journey on a map, on a map of New York subway system and show you they're at this point now.

[1:38:13] They're at this point now.

[1:38:13] They really like, they did such a good job of, uh, of really sticking the story to where, where they were going to be at any given point, you know?

[1:38:22] Uh, but it's, you know, I'm sure there are other places where they do that too.

[1:38:25] Like, uh, I'm sure in, uh, like, uh, I don't know.

[1:38:30] Maybe if I knew Tokyo, I'd be like, oh yeah, Gojira really, really gets across the, he goes, starts here and he goes here, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[1:38:37] And I'm a sucker for any kind of thriller that really takes advantage, like really establishes the geography of the space that they're using, whether it's something like on a smaller level, like panic room, that's all in a, you know, brownstone or something like tremors where you're like, you got to know exactly how far you got to run.

[1:38:54] So you don't get gobbled up by one of those graboids, you know?

S4

[1:38:58] I love, uh, I'm a big fan of movies where they clearly, you know, got some sort of tax break incentive for, you know, acting as a tourist sort of thing.

[1:39:07] Like, um, I love, um, brainstorm, the Christopher Walken, Natalie Wood movie, which was filmed in Durham.

[1:39:15] And let, like they use so many, they're like, meet me at the statue of so-and-so that's in the beautiful park near, you know, and they're, they're constantly meeting these places where it's like the, you know, you're meeting at like old ancient statues.

[1:39:32] Or at one point, uh, Christopher Walken rides his recumbent bike through town.

[1:39:37] So you're literally getting an incredibly long scene where he's riding through beautiful Durham.

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:46] Um, I don't think I've ever seen that movie.

[1:39:48] I'm going to have to check it out, you know, so that I can prepare for a future trip to Durham.

[1:39:53] That's all you need.

S4

[1:39:54] You're right.

[1:39:55] See what you got to see.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:57] Uh, you can finally achieve your dream of, of, uh, of opening up the brainstorm tour of Durham, where you just take people around and tell all the sites from the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:05] Uh, yeah.

[1:40:06] I mean, well, my, my plan is to take at least one visit, pick out a location, find some nice real estate, and then open up a bar that sells dark and brainstormies.

[1:40:16] Um, okay, well, we're in the homestretch now.

Dan McCoy

[1:40:22] We're going to do the final segment of our show, which is recommendations.

[1:40:26] You know, watch Uninvited, a lot of fun, but also maybe check out one of these movies.

[1:40:33] Um, I'll kick us off.

[1:40:35] I went upstate recently.

[1:40:38] It was the first time I left, uh, Brooklyn since quarantine happened.

[1:40:43] So are you recommending going on a vacation?

[1:40:45] I'm recommending getting the hell out.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:48] So my movie is the Hudson Valley.

Dan McCoy

[1:40:51] No, but, um, so I, I went to a drive-in movie.

[1:40:56] It was great.

[1:40:57] It was the first theater experience that I've had, uh, since everything shut down.

[1:41:04] And, uh, yet again, I fell asleep for the later movie, but I watched the first movie, which was Hocus Pocus, which I had not ever seen because I was a little too old for it.

[1:41:15] And I had no younger siblings, but, and also at the time, all the reviews were pretty, pretty bad.

[1:41:21] But then it became, uh, like sort of a cult favorite of, uh, millennials.

[1:41:27] And I always assumed it was another space jam.

[1:41:30] I always assumed that it was not a good movie, a movie that like, I would be like,

[1:41:34] why do you like this?

[1:41:35] But I watched it and it's so much weirder than I thought it would be.

[1:41:39] Like all of the witches are so much fun.

[1:41:43] There is a joke involving a, uh, lobster that just lasts for, like, it's a very short joke, but it was so funny.

[1:41:51] I laughed so hard.

[1:41:53] Um, I don't know.

[1:41:55] It's just like, if you've never seen it, it's, I think it's probably a different movie than you're assuming.

[1:42:00] It is a strange movie and also a movie that's unafraid to get dark for a children's movie.

[1:42:06] Like it starts out with child murder.

[1:42:07] So, um, that's my blurb for the hocus pocus box.

[1:42:13] Starts out with child murder.

[1:42:14] Um, but I, I really enjoyed it.

[1:42:16] So, if you missed it, hocus pocus.

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:21] Elliot.

[1:42:22] Stuart.

[1:42:22] Well, what, what am I going to recommend?

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:24] No, no, Dan said Elliot.

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:26] Oh, okay.

[1:42:27] I guess, I guess Elliot will go.

[1:42:29] You have, um, I don't know.

[1:42:31] I was going to talk about a movie that I was actually in.

[1:42:35] Uh, is that fair?

[1:42:36] Is that allowed?

[1:42:37] I don't know.

[1:42:38] Uh, is it a movie you like?

[1:42:39] Would you recommend it if you weren't in it?

[1:42:41] I would, I think.

[1:42:42] I mean, it's tough because I can't really pull myself out of it.

[1:42:45] But, uh, I guess, I mean, I feel like I have to recommend it now that I've started talking about it.

[1:42:49] All right, Sergeant.

[1:42:50] Talk about it.

[1:42:51] I think so.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:52] And it is Shocktober.

[1:42:52] It's the perfect time for a movie that I assume is horror-y.

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:56] Yeah.

[1:42:57] Uh, I'm going to recommend a movie that I am very briefly in.

[1:43:01] I get, like, one line and some sound effects in a scene.

[1:43:04] A scene at the Galactic Council on the planet of Gygax.

[1:43:07] The movie is called Psycho Goreman.

[1:43:11] Uh, directed by a buddy of mine and friend of the podcast, uh, Stephen Kostansky.

[1:43:15] He directed The Void.

[1:43:17] Uh, Manborg.

[1:43:19] He directed a short in, uh, one of the ABCs of Death.

[1:43:23] Um, and it is a monster movie with a ton of big splattery monster effects.

[1:43:28] Uh, it is about, uh, two kids who find a exiled alien overlord, uh, who they name Psycho Goreman.

[1:43:36] Or PG for short.

[1:43:38] Uh, and because they have-

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:40] Which is also what the movie is rated, I assume.

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:42] I mean, that's, it says it on the poster.

[1:43:44] You'd have to look at the much smaller letters to see the actual rating.

[1:43:48] Uh, and I mean, why would you look down there when you could be looking at the cool monsters on the poster?

[1:43:52] The, um, so they find his amulet and they can take control of him.

[1:43:56] And so despite the fact that he wants to destroy the universe, he has to do the bidding of these children.

[1:44:01] Uh, and it's a lot of fun and it's gross and it's kind of like if, uh, it's kind of like a cross between Suburban Commando and, uh, and like a Power Rangers episode that was also super gory.

[1:44:13] It's a lot of fun.

[1:44:14] Check it out.

[1:44:15] Uh, I think it's, it's going to be coming to streaming, uh, sometime next year to Shudder.

[1:44:20] Uh, right now you can see it at select, uh, movie festivals.

[1:44:24] Psycho Goreman.

[1:44:25] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:28] Exciting.

[1:44:28] Elliot.

[1:44:29] Should I go next?

[1:44:30] Okay.

[1:44:30] I'm going to recommend not exactly a horror movie, but a movie that is frightening in what it says about the way that power corrupts and politics inevitably, uh, you know, goes bad.

[1:44:41] Uh, it's the movie Danton starring Gerard Depardieu from 1983.

[1:44:46] This is directed by, uh, the Polish director Andrzej Wadja.

[1:44:50] I'm, I'm sure I'm mispronouncing his name, but it's a French language movie.

[1:44:54] And it's the story of Danton, the French revolutionary, uh, and the end of his life as he was tried for treason by the men that he once worked with, uh, and eventually executed.

[1:45:05] Spoiler alert.

[1:45:05] That's what happened in real life.

[1:45:06] Uh, and it's a kind of a story about what happens when people who are in power become so attached to their ideology that they say they're doing everything and believe they're doing everything for the good of the people and either don't notice or don't care to notice that what they're doing is crushing those people.

[1:45:23] Uh, and it felt very relevant in many ways to what's going on now, but it's also, you know, uh, a movie with a lot of great performances.

[1:45:32] The guy who plays, uh, Robespierre in it, who is a Polish actor whose name, uh, I cannot remember, is really fantastic in it.

[1:45:41] And it's a, you know, just kind of a frightening movie about how a political system can get overtaken and, uh, twisted into a way that's ultimately terrible for everybody.

[1:45:51] Uh, one warning, there is a scene of a young boy in a bath.

[1:45:55] So if you don't want to see a young boy in a bath, I guess don't see the movie.

[1:45:59] I just don't want you to be thrown by it as I was.

[1:46:01] The purpose of the scene is that he's being forced at all times to learn the, uh, the new French legal code, even when he is bathing.

[1:46:09] But it was just kind of weird to see a naked kid in a movie, not realizing it would be there.

[1:46:14] So now I've warned you and you can see it.

[1:46:17] And that's Danton.

[1:46:19] Uh, and Gellian, do you have a recommendation?

S4

[1:46:21] I have one I watched just recently with my son, cause I was about his age when I saw it, the movie theaters, Cloak and Dagger.

[1:46:31] Oh yeah.

[1:46:32] It is, I didn't know, you know, I, I didn't know if it was going to hold up or if I'd still like it.

[1:46:39] And we both had so much fun.

[1:46:40] It's, uh, young Henry Thomas from E.T.

[1:46:44] Uh, and Dabney Coleman as his dad.

[1:46:48] And he basically, the kid is, his mom has passed away.

[1:46:52] His dad is a workaholic and is always busy.

[1:46:56] And he has this, uh, character that he's infatuated with, uh, who comes to life in his imagination.

[1:47:03] But you can see him.

[1:47:04] He's also played by Dabney Coleman.

[1:47:06] And Henry Thomas ends up, uh, getting a hold of, uh, like an Atari video game that actually contains top secrets.

[1:47:16] And is therefore chased, uh, throughout San Antonio.

[1:47:20] Which, uh, made me think of it because I was recently thinking of movies that use their, uh, settings well.

[1:47:26] And he's, they, uh, they use San Antonio, uh, by, uh, any sorts of, of bad guys.

[1:47:32] It's really fun.

[1:47:33] I had quite a delightful time watching it.

Dan McCoy

[1:47:36] And that's, uh, directed by Richard Franklin, who's one of my favorite exploitation directors from Australia.

[1:47:42] He's like a very, like, he's a very, like, big, like, Hitchcock acolyte.

[1:47:47] And Cloak and Dagger is, like, kids Hitchcock.

[1:47:48] But he, he did Psycho 2.

[1:47:51] And he did Link, a movie where, uh, an orangutan is in love with Elizabeth Shue.

[1:47:56] And he did Road Games, which is like a rear window, but with a truck, uh, instead of an apartment.

[1:48:04] And I, I like him a lot.

[1:48:06] Road Games?

[1:48:07] I have to write that down.

[1:48:08] Road Games.

[1:48:09] Yeah.

[1:48:10] Road Games.

[1:48:10] It's got Stacy Keach and, uh, Jamie Lee Curtis, right?

[1:48:14] Jamie Lee Curtis, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:48:15] Say no more.

[1:48:16] I'm in.

[1:48:18] Um, well.

[1:48:19] Four recommendations.

[1:48:20] Stuart is only in one of them.

[1:48:24] So choose that one first, I guess.

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:26] You know which one to prioritize.

Stuart Wellington

[1:48:27] Yep.

[1:48:27] It was, it was pretty fun when, uh, the credits rolled and I actually saw my name in the credits.

[1:48:32] I, like, got up and ran around the room like Homer Simpson.

[1:48:35] Mm-hmm.

[1:48:37] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[1:48:39] Um, hey.

[1:48:41] Shocktober's over, but thank you so much, Gillian, for doing this.

[1:48:45] I gotta say, when you, uh, tweeted at, uh, the show and I found out that you were a listener,

[1:48:52] like, it made my month, but also terrified me that, I was like, what are we gonna do to,

[1:48:56] to lose her?

[1:48:57] Like, what?

[1:48:58] How are we gonna?

[1:48:59] Oh, have her on the show and force her to sit through it.

[1:49:01] Yeah.

[1:49:02] Yeah.

S4

[1:49:03] Yeah.

[1:49:04] Thanks for coming on.

[1:49:05] Everyone loves, everyone loves having writers on their shows.

[1:49:10] The oft, I often demand writer person.

Dan McCoy

[1:49:15] But thank you.

[1:49:15] I have enjoyed your, your work so much.

[1:49:18] So I was, it was very exciting.

S4

[1:49:21] Well, thank you for having me.

[1:49:23] It was as joyful and wonderful as I had hoped and thought it would be.

Dan McCoy

[1:49:28] Um, well, uh, but we should sign off.

Stuart Wellington

[1:49:30] And happy October.

[1:49:31] Oh, thank you.

[1:49:32] And do you, do you want to, I mean, you.

[1:49:33] Oh yeah.

[1:49:34] Should you want to plug anything?

[1:49:36] Yes.

S4

[1:49:37] I, on, I would love to.

[1:49:40] I have, uh, on Amazon right now is a show that I, um, uh, speaking of remakes, it's a remake

[1:49:47] of a beloved UK, uh, cult show called Utopia.

[1:49:51] And I wrote and produced, um, and was the showrunner.

[1:49:56] So I'm very proud of it.

[1:49:57] Yeah.

[1:49:58] It has, stars Rainn Wilson and John Cusack.

Stuart Wellington

[1:50:02] I want to say that, uh, we just, uh, my wife and I just finished, uh, what the first,

[1:50:07] the first season, there's one season up, uh, and we loved it.

[1:50:10] And I particularly want to point out like the, the pilot is so fucking good.

[1:50:15] Like I haven't been hooked by the first episode of a show like that in a long time.

[1:50:21] So it's great.

[1:50:22] Check it out.

Dan McCoy

[1:50:23] And I want to thank you for, uh, coming on the show.

[1:50:27] So shortly after it premiered when I assume you're extremely busy.

S4

[1:50:33] It's my pleasure.

[1:50:35] I always make time for my flop house.

[1:50:37] Um, you, seriously, you guys got me, you guys were my very first podcast I ever listened

[1:50:41] to.

[1:50:42] Um, because I had not, I, you know, I'm a writer, so I worked from home.

[1:50:46] So I had not understood the whole podcastery.

[1:50:49] And then all last year when we were filming and having these insane long road trips to different,

[1:50:55] uh, locations, I would put on flop house.

[1:50:58] And so it was great to be able to like start at the beginning with you guys and listen,

[1:51:02] listen all the way through.

[1:51:03] And my, oh, and my husband wanted to thank you for, he recently listened to your Hudson

[1:51:07] Hawk episode.

[1:51:08] And, and finally he is on board because I had listened to it a while before and it was like,

[1:51:13] we should watch Hudson Hawk.

[1:51:14] He's like, I don't think we should stop making me watch uninvited and Hudson Hawk.

[1:51:19] And, uh, and he is now fully on board.

[1:51:21] So thank you guys for that.

[1:51:23] We'll probably watch it soon.

Dan McCoy

[1:51:25] Guys, I think I know why she likes the show.

[1:51:28] It's the first podcast she ever heard.

Stuart Wellington

[1:51:30] She doesn't know there are much better shows out there.

[1:51:33] Yeah.

[1:51:33] I mean, I feel like that's a large part of our success, Dan, is we've just been doing

[1:51:37] a long time.

[1:51:38] It totally is.

Dan McCoy

[1:51:39] Uh, well, anyway, thank you to our guests.

[1:51:42] Thank you to Jordan Cowling for editing the show.

[1:51:45] Thank you to Maximum Fun for being our network.

[1:51:48] Um, we appreciate all of you, uh, for the Flophouse.

[1:51:53] I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:51:55] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:51:57] Ellie Kalin, also saying goodbye.

[1:51:59] And our guests.

S4

[1:52:00] I'm Gillian Flynn.

[1:52:01] Happy October.

[1:52:04] Bye.

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:15] She slips in her Watermelons Being Thrown Into Pools sound effect CD.

Stuart Wellington

[1:52:23] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:52:24] She did Apples Being Thrown Into Pools and we're like, not loud enough.

Ep. #326 - Uninvited, with Gillian Flynn

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