FH Mini #24 - Goofs Twofs

[0:00] Hey, WKRP Cincinnati, what are we going to do?

[0:08] Yeah, Wolfman Jack, what are we going to do?

[0:11] Well, what we're going to do, friends, is this is The Flophouse.

[0:16] It's a podcast normally about bad movies.

[0:18] We watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[0:21] Last week's episode, Hillbilly Elegy, is one such of those episodes, the main episodes

[0:29] as you would call them.

[0:30] But then on the off weeks, we just mess around, do other things, mostly related movies, sometimes

[0:35] not.

[0:36] But tonight, you know, before I introduce what we're doing, let's introduce ourselves.

[0:40] Sounds great.

[0:41] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:42] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:44] My name's Elliot Kalin.

[0:46] You might know me as the writer of Maniac of New York, the hit comic from Aftershock

[0:50] Comics.

[0:51] Dan?

[0:52] Uh-huh.

[0:53] Elliot, while Dan was doing his introduction, I was watching you as you were like clearly

[0:57] working through in your head whether or not Dan was going to fuck it up or not, and he

[1:02] nailed it.

[1:03] No, I saw it too.

[1:04] He stuck that landing.

[1:05] The fucking lack of faith.

[1:06] One of the things that keeps the thrill alive for me is never knowing whether things are

[1:10] going to go slideways when Dan is saying stuff.

[1:14] So it really, it means that the spice never goes out of our recording relationship.

[1:19] Yeah, that's true.

[1:21] Well, that's, you know, that's what's called the wildcard theory of romance and podcasting.

[1:27] Okay, so we've introduced ourselves.

[1:30] That's the most important thing.

[1:31] But the second most important thing is to introduce the premise of this Flophouse Mini,

[1:36] where we are not talking about a bad movie.

[1:38] What we are doing is I am returning to the well, one of my most popular bits.

[1:44] Everybody loves it.

[1:45] From the one time we did it before, I'm going to quiz you on some IMDb goofs.

[1:55] And because this is the sequel, I'm calling this Goofs Toofs.

[2:00] To anyone who's picking up the show for the first time after seeing our Teen Wolf live

[2:04] show that we had recently, thank you very much for watching that show.

[2:08] By the way, we had a great outpouring from the fans.

[2:11] Great response.

[2:12] We really appreciate it.

[2:13] It's helping us all out.

[2:14] And for anyone who is joining us now as a regular listener, stick around for at least

[2:17] one more episode.

[2:18] Yeah.

[2:19] I mean, I'm glad you brought up our live show.

[2:20] Come on, what is this lack of faith?

[2:22] Our live show, I was like so blown away.

[2:25] I was touched by the response.

[2:27] I remember, I mean, Dan texted me right after and said he thought we should have had a bigger

[2:32] turnout.

[2:33] But I was like, no, Dan, the turnout was great.

[2:35] Dan, he texted something to me about like, about those, let's see if those jackasses

[2:41] understand what we're laying down.

[2:42] And I was like, Dan, I think our fans are great.

[2:45] I texted something that said, I'm ungrateful, which is weird that I would just text a subtext

[2:52] to you.

[2:53] But yeah.

[2:54] Yeah.

[2:55] Yeah.

[2:56] What are you, HBO's Game of Thrones TV show?

[2:57] Hmm.

[2:58] Hmm.

[2:59] Trenchant.

[3:00] I guess so.

[3:01] This is a.

[3:02] I understand it.

[3:03] But here's the rules of this bit.

[3:05] So we're going to do a little contest, a little trivia contest.

[3:07] Goofs, too.

[3:08] You called it?

[3:09] Yeah.

[3:10] Goofs, too.

[3:12] Now, you may be aware that there is a little website or a big website at this point known

[3:17] as IMDB, the Internet Movie Database.

[3:22] From almost the dawning of the Internet, this has been the premier site to just, you know,

[3:27] look up that movie.

[3:28] Oh, who was in that movie?

[3:30] Those are the people who were in that movie.

[3:32] Those are the people who worked on it.

[3:33] It's a clearing ground for all that sort of credit information, largely, but it has other

[3:39] things.

[3:40] It's a goof section for many of the movies, and IMDB is managed on, you know, sort of

[3:48] a wiki model.

[3:49] Not exactly that, but users do a lot of the information gathering.

[3:55] That's why my friend John Kingman was able to make it look like I was the set dresser

[4:00] for the bikini car wash company briefly.

[4:03] It's why there were many, many years when, according to IMDB, the greatest film of all

[4:08] time was The Shawshank Redemption, a perfectly fine movie I like very much, but that is hardly

[4:13] the pinnacle of cinematic achievement.

[4:17] The IMDB, part of that also is why I am mislabeled as having a part in a Wiggles movie or video

[4:25] or something.

[4:26] It's a movie about pirates, right?

[4:28] And why in my trivia on my entry, it of course mentions my lifelong friendship with Annie

[4:33] Hathaway, which has only the most tenuous relationship with reality.

[4:38] That fact.

[4:39] Yeah.

[4:40] Well, yeah.

[4:41] That is obviously a Flophouse fan mischief maker.

[4:45] It also has the wrong birth year for me.

[4:47] Someone shaved a year off of my age, which, thank you very much, it wasn't me, but I appreciate

[4:51] it.

[4:52] You know, youth is everything in this business.

[4:57] Don't I know it, man.

[4:59] My youthful glow has faded.

[5:01] My favorite thing about IMDB is how, no matter what, no matter what actor I pick, they are

[5:07] always going to have at least one credited appearance on the TV show, Harry's Law.

[5:12] That is the law of Harry.

[5:15] Every actor has been on Harry's Law.

[5:17] A pretty short-lived program.

[5:18] That's what's strange about it.

[5:21] The actors that Stu looks up on IMDB are a self-selected group.

[5:30] He's mostly looking up Kathy Bates, which is why Harry's Law is so...

[5:34] Where do I know her from?

[5:38] So okay.

[5:39] Well, but the point of what I was saying is that on IMDB, people contribute goofs.

[5:45] Little bloopers, if you will, in the movie that just did not get edited out.

[5:51] No one caught them along the way.

[5:53] Like a Starbucks cup in the aforementioned Game of Thrones.

[5:56] These are just goofs.

[5:58] Like someone zipping their fly right on camera in Teen Wolf, as we talked about during our

[6:03] Teen Wolf live show.

[6:04] I'm sorry to keep referencing it.

[6:05] It will never be seen or heard again.

[6:08] So for anyone who missed, I apologize.

[6:10] I'm really tantalizing you.

[6:11] I don't know why you're...

[6:12] Actually, and that is the original mythology was that Tantalus, when he was being punished

[6:16] in the afterlife, they would promise him he would get to see our Teen Wolf live show and

[6:21] then go, ooh, sorry you missed the window.

[6:23] Ooh.

[6:24] Yeah.

[6:25] But the point is, so the ideas that the greater viewing public have about what makes a goof

[6:34] are maybe a little broader, more expansive than you might imagine.

[6:39] Now, Dan, do goofs include bloops?

[6:44] I think a bloop is more a flub that is recognized...

[6:49] Dan, don't throw more terminology at me.

[6:51] Use plain English.

[6:52] Come on.

[6:53] A goof is a flub.

[6:54] Come on, Nerdlinger.

[6:57] Now, a best boy uses his grip to grip onto this flub to gaff the...

[7:07] Are you guys talking about fucking Manc again?

[7:11] We're talking about Manc.

[7:13] Stu, don't get me started on Manc.

[7:14] I have a lot to say about it.

[7:17] Don't yank his Manc crank.

[7:23] Send me that shirt.

[7:24] Send me a shirt that says, don't yank my Manc crank.

[7:28] I promise you I will take a picture wearing it.

[7:33] That's our pledged you.

[7:35] That's my yank Manc crank pledge.

[7:38] It's like something out of a Dr. Seuss book.

[7:42] When he watched Manc, it made him crank.

[7:44] So don't yank his Manc crank.

[7:46] And you're going to hold up a copy of today's newspaper so I know it wasn't a forged photo,

[7:51] right?

[7:52] I didn't take it 100 years in the past.

[7:57] A goof, I think the difference between a goof and a bloop is someone catches the bloop along the way.

[8:02] I see.

[8:03] And so it ends up hopefully on a bloop reel at the end.

[8:06] Although every time I watch a serious movie, I'm always disappointed there's no bloops at the end.

[8:12] Something funny must have happened on the set of The Little Things.

[8:15] Why is there no bloops at the end?

[8:18] I both want to live in a world with more bloops, and I remember how being there ends with a bunch of bloopers.

[8:25] And it's so strange after the movie that we've just watched.

[8:28] Peter Sellers was apparently very unhappy about that.

[8:31] Yeah, he thought it lost him the Oscar, didn't he?

[8:34] I don't know about that.

[8:35] Maybe.

[8:36] He felt that he had constructed this performance and held it through the whole movie.

[8:40] And then Hal Ashby was like, hey, check this dude out.

[8:43] It's just Peter Sellers.

[8:44] Don't think it's really that guy.

[8:46] Yeah.

[8:47] Okay.

[8:48] Well, anyway, the point is I'm going to read off one of these crowdsourced goofs.

[8:54] And you gentlemen are going to have to guess what movie the bloop comes from.

[9:01] I will keep score.

[9:04] Okay.

[9:05] Despite the title of the film, Godzilla never bumps his shin on anything.

[9:10] Is it Shin Godzilla?

[9:12] No, it's not.

[9:13] Okay.

[9:14] So this is the first bloop.

[9:17] Toast the knowing turns the crank of the music box in the wrong direction.

[9:23] What a bloop.

[9:24] Wait, wouldn't that be a goof and not a bloop?

[9:29] Yeah, that feels like a goof.

[9:30] Is that the first goof of the night?

[9:32] Sorry.

[9:33] What a goof.

[9:34] You know what?

[9:35] That was a bloop goof.

[9:36] Yeah.

[9:37] We'll put the goof bloop reel at the end.

[9:42] Yeah, I feel like a bloop would have been if he had gone to crank the music box and

[9:46] it broke off in his hand and then he pooped on himself.

[9:49] That's a serious bloop.

[9:51] That's a poop bloop.

[9:52] The goof troop came in to clarify that that was a poop bloop.

[10:00] and uh...

[10:01] value

[10:02] you know that i don't want to classify it so i had to go to brazil jail

[10:07] here's a good

[10:08] the group is toast the knowing turns the crank of the music box in the wrong

[10:12] direction

[10:13] uh... that goofy goof what movie is this

[10:17] uh... what's i've got you know i'm gonna

[10:20] to try and uh...

[10:22] even things out i'm gonna call on one of you first on the switch up

[10:26] each round so

[10:28] his first round elliot do you have a guess for what

[10:31] this

[10:32] do you think it sounds really familiar and i'm sure that i will be like all

[10:36] right when i hear it but all i can think of is told the wet sprocket and that

[10:40] makes me think about the original money python bit that the name told the wet

[10:43] sprocket came from

[10:45] uh... featuring ambidextrous rex uh...

[10:48] and that's not it they can't be it's because there's no music box in that

[10:51] bit

[10:52] so

[10:54] i don't know

[10:54] that is it freak the mighty

[10:58] well we'll find out uh... soon enough stuart what is your guess for this

[11:02] when you mention the monkey

[11:05] you mentioned uh... you mentioned a music box so i got ahead of myself so is

[11:09] that monkey shines the movie with the monkey with uh...

[11:13] but that doesn't have a lot of music box it just plays like a little drum

[11:17] fucked it up and it did monkey shadow he does play a little drum does he

[11:21] does he play music box until i get it right i think i think so

[11:24] is it monkey shines the experimenter

[11:28] there is a monkey that plays the cymbals on the cover

[11:32] of the vhs

[11:34] for monkey shine

[11:35] i don't know if it's in the movie i don't think it's in the movie but there is a clockwork

[11:39] monkey it's not the actual killer monkey i mean we all remember a clockwork monkey

[11:43] stanley kubrick's adaptation of anthony burgess' novel yeah

[11:48] i think you might be thinking of there was an old t.v. movie about an evil

[11:51] wind-up cymbal monkey and that was later repurposed as the second half of

[11:55] merlin's shop of mystical wonders

[11:57] which was a history science theater episode so dan

[12:00] that was what i was thinking of actually so i'm going to say last year at

[12:04] marion bed

[12:05] the correct answer to this is of course

[12:08] fury road mad max fury road

[12:11] that goofster toast to the knowing which character was toast to the knowing

[12:15] i don't know

[12:17] so let's look at the scores we've got zero to zero i feel like i should have

[12:22] known that one because i love that movie but on the other hand a lot of those

[12:25] characters their names are not said in the movie so you kind of have to

[12:29] know you have to kind of read some of the back matter

[12:32] wait for the end of the credits where everyone

[12:35] gets their name

[12:37] uh... okay

[12:38] goof the second

[12:42] when we see jack in his final state of undead in the porno theater he uses a

[12:47] lot of words that are formed with the lips

[12:50] such as schmuck

[12:52] however

[12:53] jack is virtually skeletal and has no lips to form the words

[12:59] that is

[12:59] a hell of a goof guys yes uh... dan i believe i know this one but if stewart

[13:03] wants to go

[13:04] i'm gonna jump in there

[13:06] we're talking about a jack that's almost a skeleton this is obviously nightmare

[13:10] before christmas baby yep you remember seeing the scene where he goes to a porno theater

[13:15] yeah right

[13:16] and oogie boogie's like you better clean that up dude and i'm like what

[13:22] yeah i think it's uh... i believe you're talking about an american werewolf in london

[13:27] uh... yes i am yeah that is

[13:29] i think the fact that i love that the goof is not

[13:32] a corpse is talking

[13:33] a skeleton is talking which is not a thing skeletons do it is that the

[13:37] skeleton can't form those particular phonemes

[13:40] without lips

[13:44] uh... so uh... you know i'm sorry stewart you've sacrificed your

[13:49] vote to comedy

[13:51] so elliott yeah i didn't love the joke it turns out i like

[13:56] people knowing that i know things more than

[13:58] people laughing at my jokes especially after i missed that fury road one

[14:02] so okay

[14:03] now i'm wondering about the nightmare before christmas stop motion

[14:07] porn parody

[14:08] never got made but probably should have been made

[14:13] okay so

[14:15] uh... goof the third

[14:17] helen

[14:18] believes she's alone on the plane

[14:21] yet she changes into her uniform in the undoubtedly cramped laboratory

[14:27] why wouldn't she just change in the cabin

[14:30] what a goof

[14:34] helen believes she's alone on the plane yet she changes her uniform in the

[14:37] undoubtedly cramped laboratory

[14:40] why not the cabin

[14:42] i mean if it's the movie that i think it is

[14:45] then that's helen hunt

[14:46] doing the plane sequence in hunt stunts

[14:49] the direct to video sold only through late night cable commercials video

[14:54] where helen hunt pulls off the trickiest

[14:56] the ickiest

[14:57] and craziest stunts

[14:59] this side of hollywood

[15:00] and in that one she was pretending to be a flight attendant and then she changes

[15:03] into uniform

[15:04] and she has to and she like lands the plane basically on the top

[15:08] of a construction site crane

[15:10] and then the whole thing explodes and she has to tumble out down the side of

[15:13] the crane

[15:14] uh... to get out and uh...

[15:16] and then she's like

[15:17] uh... next time i'm taking the train

[15:19] is it that one is it hunt stunts

[15:21] uh... well we'll find out

[15:23] well we already took hunt stunts so i can't say that one

[15:26] now you can say the other hunt stunts too which was linda hunt

[15:30] doing a series of stunts

[15:31] i mean

[15:33] that's i mean that's crazy that they say that for the sequel but i guess you

[15:36] gotta go bigger right yeah exactly

[15:39] so yeah i mean obviously we're talking about a plane here in the only movie i

[15:43] can think of that has a plane in it

[15:45] uh... i think this is a fact is con air starring nicholas cage

[15:49] is it con air starring nicholas cage

[15:52] well uh... i'm afraid that neither

[15:55] if you've got this one the answer is

[15:58] the incredibles

[15:59] uh... i assume that anthony lane contributed this goof he's like why

[16:04] doesn't helen change out in front of all of us i think the audience would like to see that

[16:08] is that that dude who like jacked off about uh... mrs. incredible in his

[16:12] fucking review in the newspaper yeah the new yorker review

[16:16] while he was

[16:17] uh... totally horny for

[16:20] helen parr which look understandable but maybe not in your review of this

[16:24] children's movie for the new yorker to be fair is that like the most horny on main you can

[16:28] be is that dude in the newspaper

[16:31] i think in defense of anthony lane one it's not like children were gonna read

[16:35] the review in the new yorker of incredibles two you might as well

[16:39] and two you might as well you might as well talk about uh... your your

[16:44] infatuation with large bottoms and two if you're familiar with anthony lane

[16:49] is so it is so hard for him to stay on topic about any movie that he is writing

[16:54] about he's like

[16:55] avengers infinity war

[16:57] whatever happened to his girl friday let me talk about that and it's like dude i

[17:01] love his girl friday too but like they're not

[17:03] not every movie is an excuse to talk about how much you love rosalyn russell

[17:08] that guy does not

[17:09] care for movies he doesn't seem to like movies as opposed to the other new yorker

[17:12] film critic richard brody

[17:14] who merely likes movies that everybody else doesn't like

[17:17] like arman white

[17:18] he's a little bit like arman white he's not quite as intense that way as arman white a little bit

[17:21] that richard brody his his personal crusade seems to be

[17:24] making sure everyone knows that ishtar is a work of of pure genius and a

[17:27] hilarious movie to boot

[17:28] and that's and that the star wars movies are soulless i think we i think we

[17:31] disproved that right when we watch it for this podcast scientifically

[17:36] mystifying take as far as i'm concerned but god love you if you enjoyed it

[17:41] you know have fun if you let elaine may is undoubtedly incredibly talented and

[17:45] uh... a skilled filmmaker in other films so

[17:49] not fair what happened to her as a result of ishtar but at the same time ishtar is not

[17:52] very

[17:53] good i'm sorry richard brody

[17:55] but i had to say it and anthony lane hey just keep on flying that freak flag

[17:59] maybe someday you'll get to bury it in mrs incredible

[18:02] so speaking of

[18:04] jesus christ

[18:07] speaking of anthony lane kids don't listen to this it's ok

[18:10] yeah is it i hope not

[18:12] speaking of anthony lane here's another horny goof

[18:15] because they'll make fun of me and i'm very intimidated by kids

[18:19] so here's goof number four

[18:22] when ava has to put on clothes slash skin

[18:26] her breasts become notably smaller

[18:30] so some

[18:31] someone needed a

[18:32] uh... let us know about this goof

[18:34] uh... the like are we to believe that

[18:37] putting on

[18:38] clothes slash skin makes one's breasts

[18:41] smaller unnamed film what a goof

[18:45] okay

[18:45] so i guess uh... who did i go to first last time

[18:49] i can't even remember

[18:50] i think i went first last time

[18:52] okay so stewart

[18:55] do you have an idea about

[18:56] uh... what film

[18:58] trying to think about putting on clothes slash skin

[19:03] that seems to be the giveaway egg

[19:05] i don't know what's on my head

[19:09] i don't want to biff this one because i keep biffing them

[19:13] uh... but man i'm kind of stumped i mean

[19:16] it's not hellraiser two

[19:18] it's not hellraiser one

[19:21] but it sounds like something you would see in a hellraiser he does need to

[19:24] collect skin in that first hellraiser

[19:27] uh huh because he's in hell helping out for his big skin bowl now stew i think you would want to

[19:31] biff this one that's where you

[19:32] you get the answers in the goof almanac

[19:35] and you go back in time and now you can make bets on the goofs and you're

[19:39] running the world pretty soon yeah it was uh... it was written by accredited

[19:43] journalist dan mccoy right

[19:47] noted sports fan

[19:50] something that was starting to get to me was i don't know if you guys are

[19:53] seeing as many comparisons between trump and

[19:56] biff in back to the future 2 where they're like this is biff world

[19:58] and it was like and they're like how

[20:00] And it's like it's only because Trump is every villain that's ever been in every movie

[20:04] Like he embodies all the characteristics of every villain from every movie. So like, of course

[20:08] It's it's reminiscent of those things. But anyway

[20:12] Not to not to insult any of the fascist listeners that we have we appreciate your

[20:19] So Dan Ava when she puts on clothes her boobs get smaller Stuart it's not a Hellraiser movie, I guess

[20:24] So, what are you gonna guess? Yeah, I don't I don't know now

[20:30] Wally that's the name of that robot. Her name's Ava, right? Yeah, Eva. Yeah, and and I'm Dan

[20:35] I'm gonna guess it's honey and skin on I'm gonna guess it's honey. I shrunk the boobs

[20:39] Yeah, does she drape skin on her robot shell like a Necronom flayed one from the Warhammer 40,000 universe?

[20:47] no, this the second and

[20:51] Final of the the horny goofs I would call them because that is ex machina ex machina

[21:00] Okay, so this is I'll call this halftime

[21:07] We we have to do a

[21:10] An advertisement but Elliot is currently ahead

[21:14] One to zero much. This is not my day. And yeah, you know, let's do I think you can tell me given Sunday, you know

[21:20] Yep, I mean technically recording this on a Tuesday, but yeah sure sure

[21:25] I'm judge John Hodgman, and I'm bailiff Jesse Thorne ten years ago

[21:29] I came on Jordan Jesse go and judged my first dispute is chili a soup

[21:34] It's a stew obviously the judge has dispensed a decade of justice

[21:39] He's the one person wise enough to answer the really important questions

[21:44] Like should you hire a mime to perform at your own funeral after they cry? I want them to laugh

[21:51] Do you really need a tank full of jellyfish in your den

[21:54] It's not like living creatures decaying only if they are decaying

[21:58] Yeah

[21:59] Which they will be real people real justice real comedy winner of the Webby Award for best comedy

[22:06] Podcast the judge John Hodgman podcast every Wednesday on maximum fun org

[22:15] Hey, it's Jesse what you're about to hear is real

[22:18] Hey, this is Chris. Hi, Chris, it's Jesse calling for maximum fun. Hey, Jesse. I heard that you got into a car accident

[22:29] Just laughed so hard that I slammed into a construction barrier

[22:36] I remember what it was. That was so funny. I will never forget

[22:40] I'm sure they started talking about Vegas and the you know, if it happens here

[22:45] It happens here it stays here and that's love and then Graham was talking about oh, you know

[22:50] Wasn't there some other slogan for another commercial?

[22:52] I was like a commercial for food and it said like whatever's in there stays in there

[22:57] I can't remember what it was clams or something

[23:03] Just so ridiculous and man I got lightheaded I was laughing

[23:08] Next thing I know

[23:10] They

[23:12] Are they are just

[23:14] Brilliantly funny. So I talked to Dave and Graham from stop podcasting yourself. We would like to pay your car repair bill

[23:22] Is that okay? Well, I mean that would be super nice. Yeah. See I really

[23:26] Thank you. I appreciate that

[23:30] So

[23:32] Do we have any goofs from any given Sunday because I feel like it Stewart should be disqualified from answering

[23:37] It's like this is this does not take place on any given Sunday

[23:42] This takes place over the course of several specific Sunday

[23:46] Recently rewatched any given Sunday for one?

[23:48] I think the sports teams have the craziest names out of any movie I've ever seen and also

[23:54] I think when it comes to pop songs that I wish existed in the real world

[24:01] the

[24:02] The Willie Beeman song is tied with Scotty doesn't know from Eurotrip. That's my favorite

[24:09] I

[24:10] Would say the goo for any given Sunday is a football team cannot win on any given Sunday

[24:15] Merely on those Sundays for which football games are scheduled and what is the advertisement?

[24:24] You're right, you know gotta respect it when you're right. Mm-hmm

[24:29] Uh, well the Flophouse is sponsored in part by Express VPN

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[25:29] Buffering so stop paying full price. What who I see Elliot over there contemplating what the difference is between

[25:37] Fresh Prince in Australia is I think it's because it takes place in Sydney Bel Air's a suburb of Sydney

[25:45] Let's just clarify for a moment, this is uh, this is not a an Australian version of Fresh Prince

[25:51] No, but I'd love the idea. They just aren't

[25:58] Prince we all grew up with

[26:00] Starring one William Smith and it just may not be available on Netflix in the US due to rights issues

[26:06] But you can get it on Netflix Australia

[26:10] I'm gonna tell you a little horror story that might terrify our listeners

[26:13] Years ago I was in a little country called

[26:16] England the United Kingdom. I was in the city of London

[26:19] I was doing the dishes and I looked up

[26:22] Netflix on my iPad or maybe was my laptop even because I back then I think I didn't have an iPad

[26:26] What was available on Netflix, but the movie Miracle Mile? I've heard so much about that movie for years. I've always wanted to see it

[26:32] I started watching it didn't get to finish it before the trip was over. No worries

[26:36] I said when I get home, I will finish watching the movie on Netflix at home

[26:40] but Dan

[26:42] When I looked at when I looked at Netflix in America was Miracle Mile available

[26:47] It was not Dan it was not and to this day

[26:51] I have still never seen at the second half of Miracle Mile. Don't be like me

[26:56] Don't be like me listeners learn from my mistakes express VPN and no spoilers

[27:02] What happened don't tell me what happens in the end of Miracle Mile

[27:06] Yeah, so

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[27:35] but now

[27:37] Guys, let's return to this game. Now. It's called all if you'll recall from before the break. It is very close

[27:43] Elliot s1 Stuart has zero. Okay, we can you can turn this around Stu or perhaps I'll open up an even more insurmountable

[27:49] I mean it I certainly can't get worse, right? I can't lose points, right?

[27:55] Dan's the crazy games master as his

[27:59] House of Wonderland rules a real arcade fellow. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna open this one

[28:05] To you first, huh? Because you're behind. Yeah, here's a goof. Oh

[28:10] man, a

[28:12] Caption, I love I love wait. Wait, I like Dan ahead of time salivating over just like just like savoring this goof

[28:20] Love a good goof a

[28:22] caption reads Thursday and

[28:25] Then shortly afterwards we see Wendy and Danny watching the Roadrunner show

[28:30] With it's a distinctive theme song in the late 70s that show played only on Saturday mornings

[28:38] Oof, what a goof?

[28:41] Stewart what movie?

[28:43] Wendy and Danny in the 70s. It's got to be for his gump, baby

[28:52] See Stewart's game and I appreciate it. I appreciate that he realizes that the competition is less important than the fun

[29:00] we make along the way

[29:07] Okay, Elliot, what do you got hmm show me zodiac

[29:14] Similarly fun movies

[29:17] We're both throwing the competition

[29:21] Both examples of directors working at the top of their game. The answer is the Shining

[29:30] Watching the Roadrunner show

[29:34] Right, that's that movie about how they fake the moon landing

[29:38] Mm-hmm. Okay, we got we got two more goofs guys

[29:42] Two more. These are the primo ones. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah, we've been edging this whole time

[29:50] With

[29:51] When Nick is playing the board game

[29:53] Game of life with Margo he lands on the marriage block and adds the wife

[30:00] peg to his car. He then hands off to Margo for her turn, neglecting that in the rules

[30:07] for the game, one makes another honeymoon spin immediately after getting married. Guys,

[30:15] can you believe that this goof made it on screen?

[30:19] How did that get into the final cut? I hope someone got fired for that. I don't really.

[30:24] I don't.

[30:25] Guys, I was watching, my wife and I started re-watching The Sopranos, and in like the

[30:31] first episode, there's this great scene where Anthony Jr. is playing Mario Kart, and Tony

[30:36] comes in and sits down next to him and starts playing Mario Kart with one hand, and I'm

[30:42] like, dude, you can't do that. What the fuck?

[30:46] But what you can't see is his character is just slamming into a wall over and over again.

[30:54] If I may, before we reveal our answers, I will say The Game of Life and I have a tumultuous

[30:59] history. I loved it as a kid, and it was recently a favorite of my older son, and we had to

[31:05] ban it in the house because it was giving him too strong an idea that the point of life

[31:09] is money and that you should be able to like trade in family members for money. He was

[31:15] getting a little too money focused, so we had to take The Game of Life out of his hands.

[31:21] Sounds like that's like shorthand for murdering someone, right?

[31:25] Oh yeah, they were his cold dead hands.

[31:26] Took The Game of Life out of your hands.

[31:31] Ali, you were up first for this one. Do you need any refreshers? Do you understand?

[31:35] So Nick and Margo, this is really teaching me that I do not remember the names of characters

[31:41] from movies as well as I thought I did. So they're playing The Game of Life, so it's

[31:45] not a period picture. It's not like Pride and Prejudice, or Sense and Sensibility,

[31:51] or Emma, or Northanger Abbey, but I know it's a Jane Austen movie, so clueless.

[31:57] Okay, and Stuart, what do you have to say?

[32:01] This is an actual guess. Guys, I've been fucking around a lot tonight. I haven't really been

[32:09] playing The Game. I've been kind of stunting on y'all, but I'm going to actually guess,

[32:15] is it the Royal Tenenbaums?

[32:18] Ooh, there is a Margo in that.

[32:21] Wait, Dan, can I change my answer?

[32:24] I was honest for a fucking chance. I removed all the irony in Pride, and I fucked up.

[32:31] That was your mistake. Shouldn't have done that.

[32:33] I'll give you a chance, Elliot. Do you have one more guess?

[32:39] Show me Zodiac.

[32:41] No. This is from the movie Gone Girl, written by our friend Gillian Flynn. Sorry, Gillian,

[32:51] you done goofed. Look up the rules to The Game of Life.

[32:56] More like Goofian.

[33:00] Man, how embarrassing. I'm sorry to call you out publicly like this.

[33:06] Man, this is like the scene in the Philadelphia story, when Catherine Hepburn declares she's

[33:11] won a game of Connect Four, after only connecting three.

[33:17] All right, so, Stuart, I'm afraid you cannot win at this point. You can only tie.

[33:23] That's fine.

[33:25] But...

[33:26] Although I think you're giving me too much credit.

[33:29] Well, it's possible that the last one is a joke one that is easy to get, so...

[33:35] True. We can only hope.

[33:38] I'm going to open this one up for Stuart first, and then if he gets it, you know what?

[33:46] We're just ending in a tie, and everyone wins the joy of friendship.

[33:50] So cool your jets, Elliot. I know you're getting all excited in your chair over there.

[33:53] I understand. I'm getting ready to yell, show me Zodiac again.

[33:56] Dan, so you're saying if we don't tie, we don't get friendship?

[33:59] Like that's the end of our friendship and I can never talk to Stuart again?

[34:02] No, I'm just saying the moral of the fact.

[34:04] That's the stakes. They're high, but I like it.

[34:06] Yeah. All right, so...

[34:08] Something, guys, I think I'm developing a gambling addiction because of this episode.

[34:14] Somehow Dan walks away owning the bar tomorrow. He's like, I wasn't even playing.

[34:18] Uh-huh, and like three of my fingers.

[34:22] Everyone's Jonesing for Goofs.

[34:24] Yeah, the next game Dan wants to play is lighting his lighter with one hand.

[34:30] Yeah, what a great story that is.

[34:32] Okay, here we go. Last question.

[34:37] Here's the Goof.

[34:39] Wait, wait. I want that to be your new catchphrase for someone to make a soundboard

[34:44] because the way you said it just now was so full of bravado and gruff confidence.

[34:50] Here's the Goof.

[34:52] Yeah, it's Dan's love language.

[34:56] Audrey's like, Dan, I found a new Goof for you.

[34:59] And he's like, oh, baby.

[35:01] And he's hooking the flip takes out of the panel.

[35:04] Yeah, it's celebrating their anniversary.

[35:06] He's like, show me the Goof.

[35:12] All right, well, here's a Goof for you.

[35:14] I got you a box of brand new Goofs.

[35:20] Cut out of paper.

[35:22] It's like, I'm sorry, guys, I'm in a bad mood.

[35:24] I lost an eBay auction for a vintage Goof.

[35:26] I had my eye on this one for a while.

[35:29] The bidding got real high.

[35:30] It was up until 3.30 in the morning trying to snipe this Goof.

[35:35] Okay, here we go.

[35:37] All right, last one.

[35:39] Obviously a driver's ed instructor would never allow or order a student driver to give someone the bird.

[35:49] Guys, I just watched this the other day, so I know it.

[35:52] It's so obvious.

[35:54] It's Disney's Onward or Pixar's Onward.

[35:57] Shut up.

[35:59] Do you know which one it is?

[36:06] What, summer school?

[36:08] Okay, Ali, do you have it?

[36:10] I can see the scene, and yet I'm having trouble remembering exactly.

[36:14] Oh, wait.

[36:17] What are we talking about?

[36:19] Obviously a driver's ed instructor would never allow or order a student driver to give someone the bird.

[36:27] Dan, Dan, it's just not coming to me, so I've got to say it.

[36:31] I apologize.

[36:34] No, it's the naked gun from the Files of Policing.

[36:37] The naked gun, that's right.

[36:39] What a goof that literal Goof was.

[36:43] Man, I feel like they were writing that goof.

[36:45] They didn't consider the fact that it was too goofy.

[36:49] In real life, gripping the penis of a statue carved into the side of a building would not give it pleasure and change its face to a smile.

[36:56] In real life, a marble penis would not bend in that way.

[37:02] In real life, applying a sanding machine to the birthmark on the buttock of a famous, what is he, a scientist?

[37:10] I don't know.

[37:11] At best, mild abrasion, and at worst, a serious injury.

[37:14] Not no effect as it has in this.

[37:17] So, all right, well.

[37:20] In real life, a detective with Frank Drebin's record would have been fired from the police force years ago.

[37:27] That was essentially one of the last ones.

[37:32] It was like, obviously, this movie is a satire of crazy, overconfident cops.

[37:39] But in real life, someone would have known that Nordberg was undercover.

[37:43] It's like, okay, great.

[37:45] You understand that it's a comedy, but you somehow can't take the next step.

[37:50] In real life, Ayatollah Khomeini would not have had a mohawk under his turban.

[37:53] But you're right.

[37:56] I totally should have known that it was naked gun.

[37:58] I couldn't remember which of the like Zucker type movies it was.

[38:03] You know what, Elliot?

[38:04] It doesn't matter.

[38:05] You still won in a blowout of one to zero.

[38:08] Yeah, I mean, I'm toast.

[38:12] So I guess we're not friends anymore, Elliot.

[38:15] No, no, no, no.

[38:17] I mean, to be honest, if I had known those were the rules of the game before I started playing, I might not have played.

[38:21] But the game is the game.

[38:23] I can't hate the player.

[38:25] Why would I?

[38:26] He wasn't my friend until a minute ago when he lost.

[38:29] It's that I'll hate the game.

[38:31] It's all about the journey, the in-game experience, as opposed to the end results.

[38:35] Like, it's fine.

[38:36] Exactly.

[38:37] I guess this is a real gamer gate situation in that we were the gamers, and now there's a gate between us.

[38:42] And we can no longer hang out again.

[38:44] And every time I see graffiti hastily scrawled across the walls of New York City that say,

[38:52] show me Zodiac, I'll think of you.

[38:55] Thank you.

[38:56] I appreciate that.

[38:57] I think that will be my tag from now on.

[38:59] I took my family out on a trip somewhere the other day where there was a lot of graffiti on a wall.

[39:06] And Sammy was like, why do they have that there?

[39:08] I'm like, oh, those are the tags that the graffiti people put, and each person has their own tag.

[39:11] And he goes, we don't have a tag.

[39:13] So I was like, should we have one?

[39:15] Like, should our family have one?

[39:17] You've got to think about branding.

[39:19] I guess now it's show me Zodiac, yeah.

[39:23] You've got to think about branding.

[39:25] You've got to think about branding Brandon.

[39:27] We need to talk about branding Kevin.

[39:32] I mean, that probably would have put him in line, you know?

[39:35] The idea that the principle is like, we need to talk about Kevin.

[39:38] His branding is poor.

[39:41] He has very little market penetration, very little brand recognition.

[39:45] Very bow and arrow based.

[39:50] I feel like he's not creating gram opportunities for himself to get his ideas out there.

[39:55] Sure.

[39:57] There's a lot of buzz around him, but it's mostly from his.

[40:00] about how she doesn't really like him.

[40:05] I don't want people to just say, we need to talk about Kevin.

[40:08] I want people to say, we need to do everything about Kevin.

[40:11] We need to make Kevin part of every aspect of our lives.

[40:14] We want to live that Kevin lifestyle.

[40:18] A wonderful harrowing movie.

[40:20] What if there's some guy who's like, well, Kevin did.

[40:23] Oh, that was terrible.

[40:24] And he goes, yeah, but we're talking about him.

[40:29] And he looks at the camera and he freezes.

[40:32] And you think about modern culture and the way society has,

[40:37] what society has done to us, as it irises in on his eye.

[40:41] I mean, the whole time I'm thinking,

[40:43] that kid is made out of the soup of John C. Reilly and Tilda Swinton.

[40:47] Amazing.

[40:48] The soup.

[40:53] Give me a cup of that.

[40:54] Okay.

[40:55] Well, I think my enjoyment at inflicting this on you guys is palpable.

[41:02] So I appreciate you playing along.

[41:05] Thanks to all who are playing along at home, yelling at your buzzfeed.

[41:09] I'm sure a lot of people knew the answers before we did.

[41:11] Those were some hard goofs for me.

[41:12] But I'm sure the audience at home was like, what?

[41:15] How can I remember that Margo was in that movie?

[41:20] I did pump up the difficulty.

[41:22] Because last time was to sort of tantalize you at this time.

[41:27] Yeah, and build up our confidence too much.

[41:29] Make us feel like we could take on the entire world of goofs.

[41:32] Yeah, exactly.

[41:35] And yet our wings, we flew too close to the goof sun,

[41:38] and our goof wings have melted.

[41:40] We've fallen into the goof ocean.

[41:45] A bunch of goofy goobers.

[41:48] I wouldn't go that far, but okay.

[41:50] Thank you all for listening.

[41:52] Thank you to everyone.

[41:56] Thank you to Maximum Fun, our network.

[42:00] Go to MaximumFun.org to check out other Maximum Fun podcasts.

[42:07] I know that Elliot has a comic book on sale now.

[42:12] I'm sure he would like to say a little bit about it.

[42:15] Maniac of New York, number one.

[42:18] When this episode comes out, it might be a little hard to find.

[42:21] It's been selling really well, but it was just announced today

[42:23] it will be going back for a second printing,

[42:25] which should be available around the time of the second issue.

[42:28] Maniac of New York, number one.

[42:30] If you can find it, it's great.

[42:32] It's Jason Takes Manhattan Meets The Wire.

[42:35] What if instead of The Wire being about drugs in Baltimore,

[42:37] it was about a mass killer terrorizing New York?

[42:40] And the art is beautiful.

[42:43] It's by Andre Udy.

[42:45] It's from Aftershock Comics, and it is, if you can find it, a fun read.

[42:51] Issue two comes out March 8th, I believe.

[42:54] So if you miss issue one, pick up issue two,

[42:57] and you'll hopefully be able to catch up with the story.

[43:00] If you miss the physical copy, you can find it digitally on Comixology.

[43:06] Yeah, I think so.

[43:08] I mean, I did.

[43:10] Yeah, it's great. I'd recommend it.

[43:13] And, Stuart, how's your stuff?

[43:15] What's going on?

[43:16] Well, Stuart Wellington has been recently half-vaccinated.

[43:19] Baby, uh-oh, I got some of that good Dolly Parton juice in my arm.

[43:24] That's right, Moderna vaccine.

[43:25] I got the first shot, second shot scheduled.

[43:28] Because I don't know if you guys know this,

[43:29] but podcasters are essential workers in these times.

[43:32] No, that's not why.

[43:33] No, no, no.

[43:34] Before they get mad.

[43:35] I'm a bar and restaurant worker,

[43:39] and in New York they made it available for us to get the vaccine,

[43:42] and I think it's the responsible thing to do for everyone who can get the vaccine to try and get it.

[43:48] So I got lucky, and my wife put a bunch of work into the vaccine portal, which is not easy,

[43:57] and we were able to schedule a vaccine appointment for me.

[44:01] So I took it.

[44:03] Since I'd previously had COVID, I had kind of a rough time with it.

[44:09] The first day was pretty difficult.

[44:11] I was pretty fatigued, but I'm feeling better now, obviously, based on my performance on tonight's game.

[44:19] Stuart, would you say the takeaway from this episode is Stuart Wellington is stronger than ever before?

[44:26] That's the thing.

[44:28] Yeah, I mean, right before we started, I was doing squats and push-ups.

[44:32] I'm getting pumped.

[44:33] I'm ready to tie, like, a bandana around my forehead so I can battle some enemies.

[44:41] You can't see.

[44:42] But Stuart right now is bending a paperclip into a bow so that he can fight off some gremlins in the clamp building.

[44:50] Well, I just remember that about two minutes ago.

[44:52] Not the lady gremlin.

[44:53] No, not the lady gremlin.

[44:54] She's going to find love with Robert Picardo.

[44:56] She's the good gremlin.

[44:57] I don't want to stop that.

[44:58] No.

[44:59] No, I just remember that we were trying to end this.

[45:02] By the way, I think the lady gremlin and Robert Picardo in Inner Space are basically the same character.

[45:08] I need to examine this a little bit more, but I think they're very similar.

[45:11] I think you have a master's thesis.

[45:12] Let's get to work on it.

[45:13] Yeah, I think that's the presentation for the next live show.

[45:16] Dan, did you have anything to promote?

[45:18] Do you want to tell people about your Jon Stewart packet that I'm sure you were writing up for his new show?

[45:23] Yeah, I was texting Elliot.

[45:25] I'm like, why is Jon Stewart packet?

[45:27] Like, I think that's trending.

[45:30] We both agreed it was such an inside baseball thing.

[45:33] That will mark when this episode came out.

[45:36] You are on Twitter and you vaguely saw people talking about the Jon Stewart packet.

[45:40] When I saw it, I'm like, is that the name of the next digital underground album?

[45:47] No, I got nothing to plug.

[45:48] I'm just here.

[45:49] I got a new kitten.

[45:51] It's pretty cute.

[45:53] We're all enamored of the new kitten.

[45:55] Yeah, yeah.

[45:56] But anyway, so if you liked this, maybe listen to a normal episode if you haven't heard one.

[46:03] And if you are a regular listener, please keep listening and rate, review, subscribe, all the stuff that helps a podcast grow.

[46:12] A young, healthy podcast with growing bones.

[46:16] That's what kids have, right?

[46:18] They do have growing bones.

[46:21] They can grow and split their skin.

[46:26] No, the skin grows with the bones.

[46:28] Unless they're marrow of the X-Men.

[46:30] But that is one case in particular.

[46:36] Thank you all for listening.

[46:37] For the Flop House, I've been Dan McCoy.

[46:38] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[46:40] I'm Elliot Kalin saying, if you can do something nice for somebody today, please do so.

[46:47] Oh, I should have said that.

[46:48] Damn, forget the thing I said about doing nice stuff.

[46:50] Pretend I said, show me Zodiac.

FH Mini #24 - Goofs Twofs

Transcript

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