Standing Ovation

Stuart Wellington

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss standing ovation.

[0:03] Do we stand up and cheer or sit down and jeer?

[0:09] Listen, won't you?

Dan McCoy

[0:12] A little, uh, you must remember this flavor at the end.

[0:15] Yeah.

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse.

[0:41] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:42] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:44] Yo, yo, Elliot Kay in the house.

[0:46] Elliot Kalen, that is.

Dan McCoy

[0:47] Oh, the original bad boy.

[0:49] Blowing out the door.

[0:50] Oh, he crossed his arms and everything.

[0:54] Hey, everyone, this is The Flophouse.

[0:56] As previously established, it is a podcast where we watch a movie

[0:59] that was a critical or a commercial flop,

[1:01] and then we talk about it.

[1:02] This one, I don't even know whether anyone.

[1:02] When did we previous establish that?

[1:03] You mean in previous episodes?

Elliott Kalan

[1:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:06] Well, we said that it was The Flophouse.

[1:08] Yeah, that was true.

[1:09] True.

[1:09] The rest was implied.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11] This is, and it's, we're also in small-vember right now.

[1:13] Yeah.

[1:14] The time of year when we talk about the movies

[1:16] that are a little smaller, a little bittier.

[1:18] But this movie, today we're talking about,

[1:19] it's, this is, this is my idea of a big movie

[1:22] directed as it was by the same director

[1:24] who made The Philadelphia Experiment.

[1:26] Ice Pirates.

[1:27] Yep.

[1:27] Mac and Me.

[1:28] Mannequin 2 on the move.

[1:29] Yep.

[1:29] Tammy and the T-Rex.

[1:31] Yep.

[1:31] Wow.

[1:32] Wow.

[1:32] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:33] Wow.

[1:33] Yeah, a real pedigree.

Stuart Wellington

[1:34] A real Flophouse pedigree.

[1:36] The boy makes bangers.

Dan McCoy

[1:40] Yeah, treat yourself to a Stuart Raffle movie tonight,

[1:43] won't you?

[1:46] Yeah, this is a movie I want to acknowledge.

[1:49] I got onto this one.

[1:50] I got onto this one via Alonzo Duralde.

[1:53] He mentioned it in a previous episode when he was on,

[1:57] when we were talking about after last season,

[1:59] he was saying, you know,

[2:00] sometimes you hear through the grapevine

[2:02] that something is a little special.

[2:04] and he mentioned standing ovation as an example of such a special picture.

[2:10] And I screened it.

[2:12] He wasn't wrong.

[2:13] I screened it for my bad movie Monday night crew.

[2:17] And then I was like, guys, we got to do it.

[2:20] We got to do it for the Flop House.

[2:20] Like seconds into the picture, you're like, okay.

[2:24] Well, I mean, like, it starts strong,

[2:28] but it gets stronger.

[2:30] It gets weirder.

Elliott Kalan

[2:31] I will say there was certainly,

[2:32] not to spoil things for anyone as they listen to the episode,

[2:35] but when one of the characters, it turned out,

[2:37] had a menagerie of animals at her command

[2:39] that she could use to exact vengeance on her enemies,

[2:42] I was like, this is a slightly different movie than I expected.

[2:45] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[2:46] It starts off like it's just going to be like a normal-ish.

[2:49] Like it's a pitch perfect, you know.

[2:51] Yeah, a movie about this young girl singing group.

[2:54] Like a Bratz pitch perfect combo.

[2:55] Exactly.

[2:56] A bitch perfect for lack of a better word.

[2:58] Yeah, please.

[2:58] The B stands for Bratz.

[3:00] Yeah.

[3:00] And then when they're suddenly at an off-track betting parlor.

Elliott Kalan

[3:01] As opposed to a Stitch perfect,

[3:03] which is when Lilo and Stitch do some singing.

[3:05] Yeah.

[3:05] And that is perfect.

[3:08] That is.

[3:08] Because they get more perfect than Lilo and Stitch singing.

Dan McCoy

[3:12] Yeah, things get weird.

[3:14] I don't know.

[3:14] I don't want to spoil.

[3:15] I don't want to steal Stuart's duties.

Stuart Wellington

[3:18] My summaries.

[3:19] My summary, Thunder.

[3:20] Yeah.

[3:20] Okay, so what's everybody's background with standing ovation?

[3:26] Well, I heard about it at the same time Dan did.

[3:28] Oh, yeah, me too.

[3:30] Have you ever given somebody a standing ovation?

[3:33] Well, of course, when The Flash entered the Speed Force.

[3:35] Yeah.

[3:35] Oh, yeah.

[3:36] You stood up and cheered.

[3:37] You didn't necessarily give an ovation.

[3:38] You slapped your hands raw.

Elliott Kalan

[3:40] That's true.

[3:41] Dan had to get skin grafts on his palms.

Dan McCoy

[3:43] Well, I sued the movie The Flash after that or whatever movie it was.

[3:46] It was not The Flash.

Elliott Kalan

[3:47] That's why it was thrown out of court,

[3:49] just because that wasn't the movie it happened in.

[3:50] Yeah.

[3:52] Yeah.

[3:53] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[3:54] So I'm left with these medical bills.

[3:55] Thanks The Flash.

[3:57] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[3:58] Your palm transplant.

[3:59] They're just lucky that you found a cadaver with palm skin that could be transplanted.

[4:03] Of course, it was the cadaver of serial killers.

[4:05] Now your palms have the urge to kill.

[4:07] Yeah.

[4:07] Also, someone with much larger hands than I had been a while.

[4:10] Yeah.

[4:10] So now the palm skin is just flapping around.

[4:12] Flapping around.

[4:13] Flapping around.

[4:14] Yeah.

[4:14] It's like he has two palm leaves on his hands.

[4:18] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[4:19] You should be a professional swimmer with hands like those.

[4:22] Thanks.

[4:23] Because they're like flippers.

[4:24] Speaking of palm leaves.

[4:26] Okay.

[4:28] Not at all.

[4:29] Let's get into this bad boy.

[4:31] Doesn't this movie take place in New Jersey?

[4:33] Yeah.

[4:33] But I feel like at least part of it takes place in Atlantic City.

[4:36] Isn't there a palm restaurant or resort there?

[4:39] I'm sure there's a palm steakhouse there or something like that.

[4:41] Okay.

[4:42] So I feel like I've actually eaten there.

Elliott Kalan

[4:46] Listeners, write in.

[4:47] Has Stuart eaten at the palm in Atlantic City?

[4:49] We don't know.

[4:50] Maybe you do.

Dan McCoy

[4:51] I mean, he certainly ate there at the airport.

[4:54] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[4:55] Well, he didn't eat there.

[4:57] That's the problem.

[4:58] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[4:59] Well, that time, yeah, I didn't get to eat there.

[5:01] That was a whole kerfuffle.

Elliott Kalan

[5:03] There is a palm in Atlantic City.

Stuart Wellington

[5:04] So you could very well eat there.

[5:05] Oh, thank God.

[5:05] Okay, cool.

[5:06] Your joke checks out.

[5:08] I fact checked that joke.

[5:09] Yeah.

[5:10] Okay, cool.

[5:10] Thank you.

[5:11] That's the best kind of joke.

[5:13] Factually correct.

[5:14] So I feel like we should probably get into the...

[5:16] It's funny literally because it's true.

[5:17] Yeah.

[5:18] So we should get into the meat of this thing because I feel like...

[5:21] You got it.

[5:21] This is the kind of weird, bad movie that seems to moment to moment invent weirder and dumber

[5:31] things to throw at you.

[5:33] So there's...

[5:34] If you're stopping to comment on every little thing, we'd be here all day long.

[5:38] Yeah, yeah.

[5:39] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[5:39] You're talking about...

[5:40] That's a real Achilles and the tortoise paradox.

[5:42] Each time you have to cover half the distance, you'll never catch up.

[5:45] You'll never get there.

[5:46] Yeah.

[5:46] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[5:46] Yep.

[5:48] So we begin...

Elliott Kalan

[5:49] Zeno, the Greek philosopher, would have been stymied by this movie.

[5:53] That's what I'm saying.

[5:53] Because he'd be like, I don't understand what I'm seeing.

[5:56] This is...

[5:56] Like it's an image that moves.

[5:58] There's sound coming out of it.

Dan McCoy

[5:59] Are these small people in front of me?

Elliott Kalan

[6:01] He...

[6:01] I will say...

[6:02] What is a dance contest?

Stuart Wellington

[6:04] I would say he would love the music though, right?

[6:08] Oh, for sure.

[6:08] Right?

[6:09] For sure.

Elliott Kalan

[6:10] This movie, it's this weird that...

[6:11] Just to say before we start...

[6:13] It's this weird thing because there's a lot of music that I assume is written for this movie

[6:16] that is almost like...

Stuart Wellington

[6:18] Anything that isn't like a standard.

[6:21] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[6:21] It's like alternate music.

[6:23] Like it almost sounds like real music, but there's something about it.

[6:26] It's off.

[6:26] And then they'll sing Splish Splash.

[6:28] And I'm like, that's a real song.

[6:29] Like that's an actual song.

Dan McCoy

[6:30] I think the first one was...

[6:32] I don't know if this is the actual title or what.

[6:34] River Deep, Mountain High.

[6:35] Yeah, River Deep, Mountain High.

Elliott Kalan

[6:36] And I'm like, did you splurge on a couple songs?

Dan McCoy

[6:38] I was so impressed.

[6:40] I'm like, wait, a real song is being played?

[6:42] There weren't a lot of them though.

[6:44] No.

Stuart Wellington

[6:44] I think my favorite, of course, is when she's busking on the streets

[6:48] of Atlantic City and is singing just God Bless America.

[6:51] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[6:51] Well, that might be in the public domain now.

Stuart Wellington

[6:55] Yeah.

[6:55] I think you can...

[6:56] I mean, she knows her audience.

[6:57] We can sing it right now.

Elliott Kalan

[6:58] If you're going to busk in Atlantic City, like say, you're either singing Springsteen

[7:01] or you're singing a really patriotic song.

[7:03] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[7:03] Yeah.

[7:03] She made 60 bucks.

[7:05] Although it's tough to do Springsteen now.

[7:07] You know, people, the nation's divided on old Bruce.

[7:09] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[7:09] That's true.

[7:09] Except in New Jersey.

[7:10] Except.

[7:11] Even the guys who are mad at, who love Trump, I think they're still like, yeah, but you know,

[7:15] bossy, you know, but those songs are from before.

[7:17] So it's okay.

[7:18] So MAGA guys in New Jersey think about Bruce Springsteen the way that we think about Woody

[7:22] Allen, where it's like, oh, but this movie came out before the thing happened.

[7:26] So maybe it's okay to watch it.

[7:28] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[7:28] Yeah.

[7:28] This is the Jackson 5 when he was a kid.

Stuart Wellington

[7:32] Oh, exactly.

[7:34] That's what we're saying.

[7:35] For those guys, now those guys finally understand the concept of a problematic fade.

[7:40] Yeah, exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[7:41] This movie came out before John Landis killed some people.

[7:43] So maybe it's okay.

[7:45] Before he got a taste for blood.

[7:48] Now he goes out nightly.

[7:49] Yeah.

[7:50] Searching for Vic Morrow.

[7:51] No, you already killed him once.

[7:52] He can't do it again.

Stuart Wellington

[7:53] Oh, God.

[7:53] No, no.

[7:55] You go to the local, like, LA helicopter rentals and there's a picture on the wall.

[8:00] Do not rent to this man.

[8:01] Do not rent to this man.

[8:02] Yeah.

[8:02] It's like the Punisher and Jetsy.

[8:05] Kiss that baby goodbye.

[8:06] Yeah, yeah.

[8:09] Literally a baby.

Elliott Kalan

[8:10] Oh, no.

[8:10] It was children.

[8:11] It wasn't a baby.

[8:12] Okay.

[8:12] There were small children who had been hired illegally.

[8:14] It was a real tragedy.

[8:15] It was horrible.

[8:15] Oh, that's very sad.

Dan McCoy

[8:18] You can tell how sad it is, by the way.

[8:20] By how the laughter that's still coming out.

[8:22] Well, sometimes you laugh in shock.

Stuart Wellington

[8:23] That's not the thing.

[8:23] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[8:25] Thanks, Dr. Ruth.

Elliott Kalan

[8:27] Is that what Dr. Ruth dealt with?

[8:29] Was, like, trauma and shock?

[8:30] I assume, right?

[8:31] Is that it?

[8:31] I'm assuming.

[8:32] I didn't pay that close attention.

[8:33] That's what she was famous for, right?

[8:35] Was her PTSD.

[8:36] Thanks, Dr. Electro.

[8:37] Yeah.

[8:37] What does she, what was her penises?

[8:41] Okay, so.

[8:43] Well, that's what, Dr. Ruth's PTSD stood for a penis taint sex doctor.

[8:47] Yeah.

[8:48] Wow.

[8:48] That's what she specialized in.

Dan McCoy

[8:50] Yeah.

[8:50] The penis and the taint.

[8:52] Yeah.

[8:52] Beyond the taint.

[8:53] No, no.

[8:53] Well, that was Dr. Ruth Eastheimer dealt with.

Elliott Kalan

[8:56] Westheimer was just the penis and the taint.

[8:58] Eastheimer was everything beyond that, you know, the anus and stuff.

[9:01] I want to hate you, Ellie, but I can't.

[9:02] You can't.

Stuart Wellington

[9:03] The science is too tight.

[9:05] Important demarcations, yeah.

[9:07] So, our movie, our adventure begins.

[9:09] So, this children's movie that we're talking about.

[9:12] Our adventure begins at the Atlantic City Talent Competition.

[9:16] We meet a group of singers, five sisters, called the Wiggy Sisters.

[9:22] The Wiggies.

[9:23] They are known as.

[9:24] They'll wear wigs.

[9:25] Yeah, they'll wear wigs.

Dan McCoy

[9:25] Their dad is a wigs company owner, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[9:28] Mr. Wigg owns the most profitable wig business in America.

Dan McCoy

[9:32] And I want to, Mr. Wigg, I forget the guy's name.

[9:35] Mr. Wigg.

[9:36] Mr. Wigg.

[9:36] Yeah.

[9:37] He is played by a gentleman who I learned when looking him up.

[9:42] He is the proprietor of a vocal training studio.

[9:46] Yes, this is Sal Dupree.

Stuart Wellington

[9:47] Sal Dupree, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[9:47] And so, I can only presume that the genesis of this film was Sal Dupree being like,

[9:52] hey, I got all these young kids who are talented.

[9:56] Let me schnooker Stuart Raffel into making a movie.

[9:59] Let me schnooker Stuart.

Elliott Kalan

[10:01] Yeah, like Stuart Raffel needed to be tricked into making this movie.

Dan McCoy

[10:04] I know.

[10:04] But like, this is clearly sort of a backdoor way of, you know, promoting his own students.

[10:10] Maybe, maybe.

[10:11] I would believe.

Elliott Kalan

[10:12] Or he said, I've got all these talented students.

[10:14] Let's make a movie with them.

[10:15] Like, let's all make stars.

Stuart Wellington

[10:15] You notice that this movie was released, after its initial release, there was a DVD release

[10:21] that was a standing ovation dance party that I think probably included additional dancing

[10:26] information.

[10:27] I haven't seen it.

[10:28] I was not aware of those.

[10:29] No, I didn't know about it.

[10:29] Also, there are not one, but two soundtrack albums available.

[10:34] There's a lot of songs.

[10:35] As there should be.

[10:35] Don't worry.

[10:35] We'll play some of those for you later.

[10:37] Oh, will we?

[10:37] I don't think so.

[10:41] The rights can't be that expensive.

[10:44] So, we meet the Wiggies.

[10:45] Oh, wait.

[10:45] I'm just learning this now.

Elliott Kalan

[10:46] Just sorry.

[10:47] This movie was associate produced by James Brolin.

[10:50] And so, at the premiere, it was attended by James Brolin, Barbra Streisand, and Josh

[10:54] Brolin.

Stuart Wellington

[10:54] I love the fact that Barbra Streisand had to watch this movie.

[10:59] I find it very charming.

[11:01] Yeah.

[11:02] So, Mr. Wiggies sabotages the group that's performing first, which is a young couple of

[11:11] kids who are singing some kind of weird song where she's like listing the, she's like going

[11:17] down the alphabet, and it's like, A is for amazing, B is be your best, and C, C, I told

[11:24] you, I know the alphabet.

[11:26] I'm like, what the fuck is happening?

[11:29] Like, what is going on here?

[11:30] An educational song about the alphabet.

[11:32] Kind of.

[11:33] So, he interrupts that performance, which, so I get fewer answers than I was hoping for.

Elliott Kalan

[11:38] And this is the beginning of something, which is the Wigs and the Wiggies are constantly

[11:42] sabotaging groups that are, I'm just going to say it, not as talented as the Wiggies.

[11:46] Yeah.

[11:46] The Wiggies are, I would, this movie makes so much more sense.

[11:48] They're sabotaging for the love of the game, though.

[11:49] I guess so.

[11:50] If the Wiggies were untalented, and it's like, we have to trick our way to the, but much

[11:54] like in Gem and the Holograms, Dan's favorite show, the Misfits are good.

[11:58] They're like a good band, right?

[11:59] Which they don't need to be going after Gem.

[12:01] Like, they can all be successful.

[12:03] They can win on their own.

Dan McCoy

[12:03] But that's kind of the moral, isn't it?

[12:04] You know?

[12:05] That, like, these are, they have a rot at their core.

[12:09] They can't just accept that they're better on the merits.

[12:13] They have to crush.

[12:13] Someone else has to lose.

[12:14] I see.

Stuart Wellington

[12:15] I was going to say it was like Dumbo's feather, right?

[12:17] That the sabotage makes them think that's how they win.

[12:20] Oh, I see.

[12:20] They don't actually need it.

[12:21] Oh, maybe.

[12:21] Yeah.

[12:22] Interesting.

Elliott Kalan

[12:24] You're saying that's what gets their self-esteem up.

[12:27] They can be like, oh, I can have fun with this performance and do my best because I know

[12:30] the other team was sabotaged.

Dan McCoy

[12:31] Their self-esteem is brought up by sabotage.

Stuart Wellington

[12:35] So the Wiggies have a brief encounter with our heroes, the five ovations, some junior high

[12:43] school girls with a variety of names that I don't remember.

[12:47] There's a Brittany.

[12:47] It doesn't matter.

[12:48] There's a Blaze.

[12:49] Yeah.

[12:49] There's a Tatiana and then others.

Elliott Kalan

[12:52] I mean, clearly.

[12:53] And the rest.

[12:54] And the rest.

[12:55] But the breakout star character is not a member of the five ovations.

[12:58] No.

[12:58] No, no.

[12:59] We'll hear about her.

Stuart Wellington

[13:00] There's a couple of breakout stars.

Elliott Kalan

[13:01] There's one in particular, though, of the girl singers.

Stuart Wellington

[13:04] I think we know.

[13:05] Yeah.

[13:05] So there is a brief moment where Mr. Wiggs is trying to encourage his daughters to perform

[13:12] well.

[13:12] And he says, let's win one for the Gipper, which they laugh at.

[13:15] And I'm like, that reference is too old for me.

[13:18] Yeah.

[13:18] No one understands what that means anymore.

Elliott Kalan

[13:20] Those kids love movies about Newt Rock me.

[13:23] So they're very familiar with it.

[13:25] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[13:26] Okay.

[13:26] So.

[13:27] Not an actual Newt.

[13:28] No.

[13:29] The Wiggies go on stage and they perform their hit song.

[13:32] They just wore a Newt costume on the field.

[13:35] Oh, right.

[13:35] Yeah.

[13:35] What?

[13:36] Like a little kid that's running away from xenomorphs?

Elliott Kalan

[13:39] That Newt.

[13:39] Yeah, he was dressed as Newt from Aliens.

Dan McCoy

[13:43] And it distracted.

[13:44] It distracted me so much.

[13:46] Check it.

[13:46] It's factually.

Elliott Kalan

[13:47] My joke's factually.

[13:48] It's because they were like, that movie won't come out for 40 years.

[13:52] At least.

Dan McCoy

[13:53] Yeah.

[13:53] So they're just worried that a small child was on the field.

[13:55] Yeah.

[13:56] So they would not tackle him.

[13:58] I mean, has anyone ever tried that in real?

Elliott Kalan

[14:00] Like in a football game, you just dress as a small child.

[14:02] No one wants to hurt you.

[14:03] Let me check the rule book and see if there's anything in there that says that one can do that.

Stuart Wellington

[14:06] They probably do have regulations about tags and uniforms for football.

Elliott Kalan

[14:10] Pigtails sticking out from under your helmet.

[14:12] But those would be so easy to grab.

[14:13] That's the thing.

[14:14] Grab and yank.

[14:15] Yeah.

[14:15] But then they come.

[14:16] They're breakaway pigtails.

[14:18] So they go to grab them.

[14:19] They break off.

[14:19] Oh, what?

[14:20] Like flag football.

[14:21] Like a salamander.

[14:22] Exactly.

[14:22] Like a salamander or a newt.

[14:23] Exactly.

[14:24] Dan, I don't know what you're talking about.

[14:26] This is herpetology, son.

[14:28] We're talking herpetology.

Stuart Wellington

[14:30] I guess I got a little bit out of sorts here.

[14:33] Before the Wiggies perform their hit song, Blush, the ovations are interrupted by Alana Wannabe.

[14:42] Breakout star.

[14:43] Yeah.

[14:43] Breakout star of the movie.

[14:45] A even younger girl who is very excited about – she's very into being a superstar.

[14:51] All her songs are about how she wants to sing and she wants to dance.

Elliott Kalan

[14:54] Her slogan is, I'm Alana Wannabe and I'm going to be.

Dan McCoy

[14:57] Yeah.

[14:58] She doesn't take no for an answer.

[14:59] No, she does not.

[15:00] Everyone keeps rejecting her and it's like, you fools.

[15:03] Clearly, she has star power.

[15:04] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[15:05] Just bring her in.

[15:05] I mean, she is annoying, but she has star power.

[15:07] And what I liked about – later we meet Alana Wannabe's dad.

[15:10] And her dad is so super supportive and just – they have such a great relationship.

[15:14] And I'm like, I love that these – such a girl dad, you know.

[15:16] Yeah.

[15:16] I love that there's no conflict in it.

[15:18] And he's like, I think it's time to give up.

[15:20] She's like, we got to keep going.

[15:21] And he's like, all right, let's do it.

Dan McCoy

[15:23] Alana refers to herself as a little person at one point.

[15:27] And she means a child.

[15:28] But I was watching this – you'll appreciate this, Stuart.

[15:30] I was watching this with our old college friend, Liz, who had invited us over to her –

[15:36] I'm really glad that you made other people watch this.

[15:38] Yeah.

[15:39] And we were laughing at the idea because, like, Alana bosses her dad around so much that we were imagining, like, what if she actually was just a little person and they were married?

[15:50] Oh, yeah.

[15:50] And that's what the relationship was.

[15:53] So she seems to be in charge here.

Elliott Kalan

[15:54] It's like orphan.

[15:55] She's pretending to be a kid, but she's actually a little person.

[15:57] Yeah.

[15:57] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[16:00] So the Wiggies perform.

[16:01] Alana's in the wings doing all the moves just in case they meet her.

[16:04] But not in the wings.

[16:05] No.

[16:07] When the Wiggies are getting off stage, they tip the stage manager to put Pepper – he has, like, this spice rack next to the fucking stage.

[16:18] All theaters have that.

[16:18] And he puts Pepper on there.

[16:20] Just in case.

[16:20] And all the Wiggies are wearing these, like, computer headphones.

[16:24] Yeah.

[16:24] They look very clearly like the thing you would wear in 2005 to, I don't know, play Quake and yell at your friends.

[16:31] So you – and he puts Pepper in all of the headsets so that when the ovations take the stage and they perform their number that I don't remember, they start to sneeze.

[16:45] Also, one of the ovations tears her dress because there was gum stuck to the chair, although I do want to point out –

[16:51] That's very strong gum.

[16:52] It's very strong gum.

[16:53] Yeah.

[16:53] And I do want to point out that when rewinding the tape backwards, when the Wiggies had left and the ovations went in, the gum was not on that chair.

[17:01] So somebody else put it in there.

[17:03] Yeah.

[17:03] I'm sorry.

[17:04] I hate to be –

Elliott Kalan

[17:04] I'm going to say Alana Wannabe did it.

Stuart Wellington

[17:06] I got to say that's our only other suspect, really.

[17:08] Yeah.

[17:10] Okay.

[17:10] So the ovations, obviously, they don't win this talent show.

[17:14] They're laughed off the stage.

Elliott Kalan

[17:15] Most of the songs that the ovations and the Wiggies sing are love songs to boys and – or about how attractive – how attracted they are to boys or how attractive they will be to boys.

[17:25] And as the movie went on, I was like, there's got to be some other subject for their songs than just, boy, you got to get with me.

[17:31] Or they want to be like a superstar, right?

[17:33] I guess where they want to be a superstar like Molly Shannon.

[17:35] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[17:36] And then there's that little bit where there's like alien robots that show up on stage.

[17:40] That's later.

[17:40] And get commanded to dance.

[17:42] That's the very end.

Elliott Kalan

[17:42] I'm from outer space.

[17:43] Make me dance.

[17:45] That's later.

[17:46] That's a great act.

[17:47] I am male pattern.

[17:48] That's where the ovations figure out the way to win is to outsource the dancing and performance to other people that they've brought in.

[17:55] Yeah.

[17:56] Okay.

[17:56] But that's the climax.

Stuart Wellington

[17:58] A little bit dejected.

[17:58] The leader of the ovations, Brittany, gets a ride home from her grandpa.

[18:04] We learn that she has a little bit of a sad home life.

[18:07] They live above somewhere off the boardwalk in Atlantic City above what?

[18:11] Like a pizzeria or something?

[18:12] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:12] They live over the boardwalk, not underneath.

[18:15] A song that is featured later in the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[18:18] That's true.

[18:18] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:19] Her mother seems to have passed.

[18:23] Her dad disappeared a long time ago.

[18:24] And her grandfather takes care of her and her brother.

Stuart Wellington

[18:26] And her grandfather is, you know, very off the boat Irish guy who just can't stop gambling his money away.

Elliott Kalan

[18:33] They decided to swerve away from the stereotype of him being an alcoholic by instead making him a gambling addict.

Stuart Wellington

[18:40] Yeah.

[18:40] And Brittany also has an older brother, Mark, who's very cool and also apparently writes all the songs and dance routines for every performer in this movie.

[18:49] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[18:49] And I don't know whether it's just that he is kind of like their first big scene together is in a room where he is like playing guitar to himself and there's a bunch of candles lit.

[18:59] But it felt like there was like a little too much like Folgers-Goffey style sexual tension between these supposed siblings.

[19:07] That I didn't really get.

Stuart Wellington

[19:08] I was pointing out that the power got cut out because they didn't pay the power bill.

[19:13] But I'm like, who's paying the candles bill?

Dan McCoy

[19:16] I still don't think that like a teen boy is like, well, let me light up my candle collection.

Elliott Kalan

[19:22] If he's going for like a meatloaf John Mellencamp type of thing, I could see him.

Dan McCoy

[19:28] And what young boy wouldn't want to go for a meatloaf John Mellencamp?

Stuart Wellington

[19:30] Wouldn't want to play in kind of an Eric Clapton tears in heaven type setting.

[19:35] Yeah.

[19:36] Yeah.

[19:37] One teenage boy can't identify with tears in heaven.

[19:43] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[19:44] What's wrong about a child dying because you didn't close a window?

[19:48] Oh, sad.

Stuart Wellington

[19:49] Oh, man.

[19:49] We're only having fun stuff here.

Elliott Kalan

[19:51] Only fun.

[19:52] I don't know why this kid's movie is causing us to bring up so many tragedies of showbiz history.

[19:57] Yeah.

[19:57] Okay.

[19:58] So how do we get into Fatty Arbuckle's story?

[20:00] When do we talk about that on this episode?

Stuart Wellington

[20:02] We're at school the next day, at middle school the next day.

[20:06] We find out that all is not lost.

[20:08] The mega media company.

Elliott Kalan

[20:09] This is not All is Lost starring Robert Redford.

Stuart Wellington

[20:11] So just get that out of your head.

[20:12] Yeah.

[20:13] CDS, the media conglomerate, is starting a best video music contest.

[20:19] And the grand prize is $1 million.

[20:23] The only challenge is you have to shoot your own video and you have to do your own music, an original song.

[20:29] Turns out the Wiggies already have a head start.

[20:31] They've rented out of the school and they've brought in a choreographer from LA and they're performing an original number written by Mark, Brittany's brother.

[20:41] Because he's, I guess, dating one of them.

Elliott Kalan

[20:43] But this is also, this is one of those weird things where Brittany is like, why don't you help us pay the rent?

[20:49] And then he's like, I'm selling my music right now to these people who have lots of money.

[20:53] And she's like, how dare you?

[20:54] How could you turn on the family?

[20:55] It's like, you need money.

[20:57] Like, I assume he's being paid for his work, right?

[20:59] Probably.

[21:00] Like, what?

[21:00] It's a real damned if you're damned if you don't situation with Brittany.

Dan McCoy

[21:03] You just brought up something that I think confused me when I was watching the movie, which is that for this contest, it has to be an original song.

[21:10] But isn't, aren't they shooting a music video later on?

[21:13] Like, one of the music videos that they try and then reject is River Deep Mountain High?

[21:18] Yes.

[21:18] So that wouldn't have qualified.

Stuart Wellington

[21:20] They didn't enter that, though.

Elliott Kalan

[21:22] I think that was mainly, that was a practice video.

[21:25] I think they were workshopping.

[21:26] Yeah, yeah.

[21:26] Okay.

[21:28] Okay.

[21:29] Maybe, or maybe this is a universe where they wrote that song.

[21:32] Later on, Brittany is.

[21:33] It's like a yesterday type situation.

[21:35] This is a world where Ike and Tina Turner never existed.

[21:37] And so that.

[21:38] How would that world be different?

Stuart Wellington

[21:40] One of those people.

[21:42] One of those people we'd be better off.

[21:44] Yeah, that's.

Dan McCoy

[21:45] Yeah, I think so.

[21:45] But would you be willing to sacrifice the other, Stuart?

[21:47] Oh, that's tough.

Elliott Kalan

[21:48] I mean, we'd never know if we needed another hero or not.

Dan McCoy

[21:51] Yeah.

[21:51] We'd never know.

[21:54] But if you wanted a private dancer, what would you do?

Stuart Wellington

[21:57] What if you wanted to learn about the nut bush city limits?

[22:01] You couldn't do it.

[22:03] Yeah.

[22:04] Impossible.

[22:05] No.

[22:05] So later on, Brittany is busking on the mean streets of Atlantic City.

[22:10] Tough town.

[22:10] They are mean streets.

[22:11] It's a mean place.

[22:12] She's singing God Bless America over and over.

[22:15] And a guy does a real fast one and takes money out of the thing and replaces it with a single.

[22:21] He takes a $10 bill and replaces it with a single.

[22:23] She chases him down.

[22:24] A real The Grifters moment.

[22:25] Yeah.

[22:26] She's like, hey, I know.

[22:27] I record the serial numbers of every bill that I put in my cap.

[22:31] And you are stealing.

[22:33] And then she is also aided by a woman we'd only seen hints of.

[22:39] A young girl named Joey, like, Badalucci.

[22:42] Yeah.

[22:43] Second breakout character of the movie.

[22:44] Well, this is the character that I was like, Stuart's going to fall for Joey.

[22:48] Stuart's going to be saved.

[22:50] Fire up the fucking concrete blonde because I love me some Joey.

[22:56] So, she comes and she's like, yeah, I got it.

Elliott Kalan

[23:01] Let's describe Joey Belliger.

[23:02] She's a real street smart, you know, Jersey kid.

Stuart Wellington

[23:04] Street smart kid.

[23:05] Bag full of snakes.

[23:06] Kind of a Philly accent.

Elliott Kalan

[23:08] Yeah.

[23:09] I did think, it did confuse me because I was like, wait, they're in Atlantic City, but her accent does sound more Philadelphia than New Jersey.

[23:16] I mean, they're pretty close.

[23:17] They are pretty.

[23:18] I mean, they're very similar.

[23:19] I mean, you go from one to the other pretty easily.

[23:20] Yeah, yeah.

[23:21] And yeah, she's like.

[23:23] She's a child mobster.

[23:24] Yes, she's like between a child mobster and a child gumshoe.

[23:29] Yes.

[23:30] And this actress, her name's Joey DiCarlo.

[23:34] I think she does a great job.

[23:35] I was like, this kid's great.

[23:37] No, I looked her up.

Dan McCoy

[23:37] I was like disappointed that she didn't go on to do other stuff because I'm like, if anyone here kind of has like a flair for comedy, it's this one.

Elliott Kalan

[23:45] She's very funny in it, in a sincere way.

Stuart Wellington

[23:47] Yeah.

[23:48] So she shows up and gives Brittany a little bit of help and also gives her some racing tips for the track, which come in handy later when she tracks down her grandpa who is in a betting fever.

[24:00] An OTB.

[24:01] A gambling fever at an OTB.

[24:03] And he's about to lose all of their rent money when she like puts a bet based on the tip that Joey gave her.

[24:14] And of course, that tip pays out.

[24:15] Grandpa's like, great.

[24:16] We can double that money too.

[24:18] And she's like, uh-uh.

[24:20] You're cut off, Gramps.

[24:20] She goes and talks to Joey.

[24:21] You win and you leave.

Elliott Kalan

[24:22] Don't do it.

[24:23] Don't try to double it.

[24:24] Come on.

Stuart Wellington

[24:24] Joey who says, she's like, no problem, but you should let me be your manager.

[24:29] I was at the talent competition.

[24:31] She's like, if I'd been your manager then, they would have been sleeping with the fishes.

[24:36] I'm like, okay, you're going to kill the wigs.

[24:39] But that's fine.

[24:41] Who knows?

[24:42] And then she agrees, but there is one condition.

[24:45] She doesn't need pay, but she will need help finding the man who drove her father to die.

[24:52] Who stole the money from her father.

[24:55] Stole the money that led her father to die.

Dan McCoy

[24:57] Eventually, there will be a reason why she has enlisted this specific girl to help her on this quest.

[25:04] Although it doesn't totally make sense even then why.

Elliott Kalan

[25:08] It makes a little bit of sense.

[25:09] But I definitely, until that reveal, I was like, why is Brittany the person you're asking to help you?

[25:13] Why do you have this singer come along?

[25:16] And Brittany never, this is something I've learned on the show I'm working on right now,

[25:19] which is if there's a question that you want the audience to wonder about,

[25:24] you have to have somebody articulate it or else the audience thinks it's a mistake.

[25:28] That they don't know the answer to it.

[25:30] And so if she had just said, well, why me?

[25:32] And Joey goes like, I got my answers.

[25:34] I got my reasons or something like that.

[25:35] Or maybe there wasn't like that.

[25:36] I missed it.

[25:36] But like once you have a character ask the question, the audience knows, okay,

[25:40] this is something the other people have thought about.

[25:42] There will be an answer to this probably.

[25:45] I just have to wait for it.

[25:45] Whereas throughout most of the movie, I was like, I don't understand what part Brittany plays in her plan.

Dan McCoy

[25:49] She's not muscle to back her up.

Stuart Wellington

[25:51] And she's unhelpful through most of the movie.

[25:54] Yeah.

[25:55] So we, now that we have a manager in tow, let's get back to our A plot, shall we?

[26:01] Mm-hmm.

[26:02] We go back to the high school or junior high school where there is a video shoot for the Wiggy song.

[26:09] There is some grown men who are doing rapping and stuff.

[26:13] Mm-hmm.

[26:13] And I didn't like this at all.

[26:17] No, thank you.

[26:19] It was very strange.

[26:21] And so they're, you know, they're having this party and kind of all the kids are invited to like get up on stage and party.

[26:27] And her brother is shooting some of the video with a camera.

[26:29] There are a lot of child like Wheeler dealers in this.

Dan McCoy

[26:32] Like later on, they'll be like kind of a, there's like a blind child who's sort of like a Phil Spector-y style character.

[26:40] And I'm like, okay.

Stuart Wellington

[26:42] I guess everyone.

[26:43] You're talking about Eric Bateman's blind brother.

[26:45] Yeah.

[26:46] Who sings, I got the world on a string.

[26:47] Mm-hmm.

[26:49] And you know, the thing is, old blue eyes did it.

[26:51] But I think Eric Bateman's brother did a little bit better.

[26:55] That's the definitive version now.

[26:58] Okay, so speaking of Eric Bateman, this is where.

[27:00] It's the definitive version.

[27:02] That's the one you're going to hear in all the commercials from this point on.

[27:04] Yeah.

[27:05] Speaking of Eric Bateman, the ovations are like, hey, Eric Bateman's always had a crush on you to one of them.

[27:12] I don't remember.

[27:13] I don't remember which one it is.

[27:14] And they're like, you need to get in tight with him because his dad owns a recording studio.

[27:19] Just stay away from his brother, Patrick.

[27:21] Yeah.

[27:22] You don't want to get involved with that guy.

Elliott Kalan

[27:24] Well, I mean.

[27:25] If he starts talking about Huey Lewis, you got to leave.

[27:28] Yeah.

[27:28] You got to go.

[27:30] If he puts on a clear raincoat, you do not want to be in that room.

[27:33] What are all these tarps for?

Stuart Wellington

[27:34] So the girls go and start buttering up Eric Bateman.

[27:39] This leads to the ovations starting to shoot their first video where they are performing at a retirement home.

[27:48] Yep.

[27:49] And there's a lot of soft shoe and they're dancing and trying to get the old people to dance.

[27:53] I think we got a lot of like Six Flags guy style.

[27:57] They do some Charleston.

Elliott Kalan

[27:58] There's one woman in particular at the old folks home who is really going for that Six Flags old man energy where she gets up and she's just dancing her heart out and making big faces.

[28:07] Yeah.

[28:07] But then the audience seems to not enjoy it afterwards.

[28:10] It's weird.

[28:11] They're like – they're getting up and dancing and then there's a moment where they lose the audience and I couldn't quite figure out what was going on.

Stuart Wellington

[28:16] And there's something about the way this is shot where it looks like in the foreground we have the ovations dancing and then there's stuff going on in the background.

[28:23] But it looks like a green screen.

[28:25] Like the sizes of people is all over the map.

[28:28] Like there's a guy back there playing bass that looks like fucking Hagrid.

[28:32] And like there's just so many different sizes that I'm like what's going on here?

[28:36] People come in a variety of sizes, you know.

Elliott Kalan

[28:38] But is this some visual trickery, Stuart Raffel?

[28:42] They do have – later at the very end of the movie you do see an animated frog crawl along a woman's face.

[28:47] So maybe they had some computer effects here and there, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[28:49] That would make sense.

[28:51] Okay.

[28:52] So in the middle of – after they perform their first song, they then bring on – after a brief interruption from Alana Wannabe, they bring on Tatiana singing one of her hit songs.

[29:05] And then Joey and Brittany sneak off because nearby is one of the guys that Joey needs to shake down to get information about her father's money.

[29:13] They go outside.

[29:15] They spray some – what we learned is perfume but is sprayed as if it's some kind of poison.

[29:22] And the only antidote is a dog treat.

[29:25] So she sprays it on a dog and then gives him a treat, threatens to spray this guy.

[29:30] He's like, no, but the guy that you're talking about, he kills everybody.

[29:33] And I'm like, that's going to be crazy when we think about it later.

[29:38] And they get a little bit of – they get another lead.

[29:40] These children.

[29:41] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[29:42] Well, but also considering how easily that character is redeemed at the end.

[29:46] It's like, oh, he was a murderous mobster but now we're supposed to like him at the end.

Stuart Wellington

[29:49] Now, after this scene, we get one of the good scenes in the movie where Alana, dejected, having been rejected by the ovations again, is leaving the nursing home, being picked up by her father.

[30:01] And she's like, nobody wants me.

[30:02] He's like, that's crazy.

[30:03] You're the best.

[30:05] And she's like, well, if I'm going to do something, I need backup dancers.

[30:10] She's like, what about your cousins?

[30:11] And she's like, they're in Florida.

[30:13] And we're like, don't worry, guys.

[30:14] We're going to meet her cousins later.

[30:16] Oh, okay.

[30:18] And so he's like, if you need backup dancers, I got it.

[30:20] So now we got a scene where Alana is in full outfit and she is at a firehouse, which I assume her father works at.

Elliott Kalan

[30:28] Either works at or owns, you know?

[30:31] Do you own fire?

[30:32] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[30:33] Maybe it's a private firehouse.

[30:35] Yeah.

[30:35] So she – we get a scene of her bossing around these firemen who are in full uniform and hitting them.

Elliott Kalan

[30:41] She's like a Nazi commandant, like yelling at them and hitting them with like a cane or a stick or something.

[30:47] I don't think it's a horse whip.

[30:48] I don't know what it is.

Stuart Wellington

[30:49] Yeah.

[30:49] So they do – yeah, it's a riding crop.

[30:51] Riding crop.

[30:52] Yeah, that's what it is.

[30:52] And they – you know, she yells at them and they prepare to shoot this video.

[30:59] Yeah.

[30:59] And later we see some of it.

[31:01] Yeah, we'll see the results.

[31:03] Stay tuned.

[31:04] Back in the studio, we meet, as we mentioned before, Eric – wait.

[31:10] Eric Bateman's brother.

[31:12] Who, again, is blind.

Elliott Kalan

[31:12] I think he's only credited as – I think the character's name is just Bateman also.

Stuart Wellington

[31:15] Bateman, yeah.

[31:16] Yeah.

[31:16] So he is – he's blind and, again, he is blind.

[31:19] Could be Justine.

[31:19] We don't know.

[31:20] It could be any of them.

Elliott Kalan

[31:20] Or Patrick as a kid.

[31:22] Yeah, again.

[31:23] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[31:24] So –

[31:24] Or another Bateman who's not famous.

[31:27] Could be Batman and they misspelled it.

[31:28] It could be misspelled Batman.

[31:31] The – well, that's what happened when Batman got to Ellis Island.

[31:34] Yeah.

[31:38] What's your name?

[31:39] They thought Batman.

[31:39] I'm Batman.

Elliott Kalan

[31:40] What's that, Batman?

[31:40] I'll just write that down.

Dan McCoy

[31:42] They thought it was too ethnic.

[31:44] And he's like, well, I guess name is Destiny.

[31:47] Criminals are a superstitious cowardly lot.

[31:50] I guess I'll become a bat.

[31:51] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[31:53] So when they're in the studio, they begin to sing a song, which is, what, River Deep Mountain High.

[32:00] And this kind of blurs their performance in the studio, blurs together with a kind of a video shoot with them playing around on a beach.

[32:07] There's guys riding around on jet skis.

Dan McCoy

[32:10] It's nuts.

[32:11] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[32:14] We then – now we have the next best scene in the movie where the ovations are at a diner and they're talking about what's going on.

[32:21] And their diner meal is interrupted by the Wigs family who show up and talk some shit.

[32:28] Even rich people in New Jersey eat at diners.

Elliott Kalan

[32:30] Yeah.

[32:30] They're just what you do.

Stuart Wellington

[32:31] Yeah.

[32:31] And then they sit down and this is where we get the hit number P's and Q's.

[32:36] Like soup to nuts.

[32:37] Mind your P's and Q's.

Dan McCoy

[32:38] When I first saw this and I did not know that he like was a singing coach, I was like, oh, Mr. Wigs gets a song?

[32:46] Yeah, he does.

Elliott Kalan

[32:48] More than one.

[32:49] But this song is – this is, I think, my favorite song in the whole movie.

[32:53] It's incredible.

[32:53] So after that ABC song at the beginning, it's the one that we were like, what is this?

[32:59] Who is this for?

[33:00] And also because it's like if you don't give good manners, no food for you or something like that.

Stuart Wellington

[33:05] Eat your bread like the upper crust do.

[33:07] That's fucking wordplay, dude.

[33:10] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[33:10] The upper crust.

[33:11] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[33:12] And they're singing this song.

[33:14] And they're performing for nobody.

Elliott Kalan

[33:15] Like there's no audience.

[33:16] No one's responding to this.

[33:18] It's just – they just love to sing all the time.

Stuart Wellington

[33:20] And they're singing, unfortunately, their song, this hit song, which is available on the soundtrack.

Elliott Kalan

[33:26] How insane would this movie be if it was actually a jukebox musical?

[33:30] And these are all songs that preexisted that one band did.

[33:34] And it's like, yeah, we did soup to nuts, of course.

[33:36] Because we needed a song about table manners.

Stuart Wellington

[33:37] We had to fit it in there, yeah.

[33:40] So they're interrupted by a frog prank because Joey snuck a frog into the soup, which you go to a diner, you got to try the soup, right?

[33:52] The soup du jour.

Elliott Kalan

[33:52] Oh, to start off to have a little cup of soup before the rest of the meal, that's just the way you do it.

[33:56] It's just a nice little –

[33:57] You're welcoming your stomach to the act of eating in a warm way, in an unchallenging way, in a delicious way.

[34:03] And you're getting your mouth ready for the work to come.

[34:07] You're saying teeth, teeth, get used to the idea.

[34:10] You're about to do work, but it's not just yet.

[34:12] Start stretching.

[34:13] Start warming up.

[34:14] The soup will go first.

[34:15] And then teeth, it's your turn to really go to town.

Dan McCoy

[34:18] Yeah.

[34:18] And then the nuts are the way to say goodbye to that meal.

[34:21] Exactly.

[34:22] It's like –

[34:22] The traditional ending nuts.

Elliott Kalan

[34:23] Exactly.

[34:24] Yeah.

[34:25] You end with some nuts, and it's like teeth, you've been doing great work, but now I really need you to focus.

[34:30] This is when you really got to get your head into the game.

[34:33] Stomach, don't worry.

[34:34] The teeth are going to take this one, and you're just going to do a little bit of backup.

[34:36] And then intestines, then it's your time to shine.

[34:41] Then the meal is over.

[34:42] You get to work while everyone else rests.

[34:44] It's beautiful.

[34:45] Every part of the body takes a shift, basically.

Stuart Wellington

[34:47] Elliot's really workshopping this children's book about the digestion process.

Dan McCoy

[34:51] Yeah.

[34:51] That Elliot gives his body a little pep talk before he has any meal.

Elliott Kalan

[34:56] I've got to because I want them to know that I care about them, but I expect work from them.

[34:59] I expect them to do their best.

Dan McCoy

[35:00] Right, right.

[35:02] That's leadership.

[35:03] Don't half-ass it.

Elliott Kalan

[35:03] Give 110.

Dan McCoy

[35:05] That comes into play later, Elliot.

[35:07] Exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[35:08] Once the intestines are done, then the ass says, hold my beer.

[35:10] I'll take care of this one.

[35:12] Now it's time for me to go to work and do what I was made to do.

Dan McCoy

[35:18] Here's my little trumpet solo.

Elliott Kalan

[35:20] Yeah.

[35:22] Now I get to be the hero.

[35:24] And then the toilet is like, I'll get it from here, guys.

[35:26] I'm not a part of the body.

[35:27] But you know what?

[35:28] I'm in the system.

[35:29] I'm making it work.

[35:30] Let's cooperate together.

[35:31] Yeah, I'm an ally.

[35:32] I'm an ally.

[35:33] That's what the toilet is saying.

[35:34] So this frog is, this is when we were first introduced to the idea that, as we learned,

[35:38] Joey has a menagerie of animal helpers.

[35:41] Oh, creatures, yeah.

[35:41] Creatures that she carries in her bag.

[35:43] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[35:43] One of them is this frog that scares everybody and kind of ruins the, not only ruins the song,

[35:49] but also seems to ruin their entire lunch.

[35:51] Yeah, ruin the meal.

[35:51] Yeah.

[35:52] Okay, so the next.

[35:53] Waiter, there's a frog in my soup.

[35:57] What's he doing?

[35:58] The backstroke.

[35:58] The backstroke, yeah.

[36:00] The next step on this journey takes us to the city of brotherly love, Philadelphia.

[36:06] That's right.

[36:07] Where Joey has organized a commercial shoot.

[36:10] Oh, yeah.

[36:11] Where three of the ovations, for some reason, two of them, I guess probably legally not allowed

[36:15] to leave the state of New Jersey.

Elliott Kalan

[36:17] Yeah, they're under house arrest.

[36:18] Yeah.

[36:19] They have to think their parole officers would be on their case if they left.

[36:22] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[36:22] They perform in this commercial shoot that involves some kind of gross drink.

[36:27] This is by far.

[36:27] They keep drinking and spitting out.

[36:28] And this is by far the worst performance they give in terms of singing and dancing in the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[36:33] And so they're really not bringing their A-game for this local commercial for a bad regional soda.

[36:37] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[36:38] And this is really one of the many moments in the movie where I'm like, how many fucking actors did they hire for this movie?

Dan McCoy

[36:46] Well, that's like another thing that makes more sense when you're like, well, they had access to like a whole school of talent.

[36:51] But I thought it was very funny that like the ovations keep adding members to their thing and like to their group.

[37:00] They're essentially a circus by the end of it.

[37:02] Yeah.

[37:02] Well, it's like the end of like Muppet's Take Manhattan where they're like, yeah, all of you that we've seen through the movie, you're part of the show now.

[37:08] And I'm like, but you made it to the finals of the singing competition based on like this number of people.

[37:15] Is it allowed that you're now like twice or three times as many people on stage?

Stuart Wellington

[37:20] Not in the real book.

[37:21] They're regularly featuring uncredited members.

[37:24] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[37:25] This movie does have big, we need roles for everybody in class for the school play energy where it's like, all right, bring in, we need, we have three people.

[37:34] All right, make a scene where they're shooting a commercial.

[37:36] And then Joey takes over and he's like, let's leave this commercial shoot.

[37:39] I need you to come with me on this side quest mission.

Dan McCoy

[37:42] I remember there's like an earlier scene where like the lead ovation like negotiates more money for backup dancers or whatever.

[37:50] And I'm like, no, no, like you can't pay your rent.

[37:54] Don't pay backup dancers.

Elliott Kalan

[37:55] She negotiates more for the backup dancers than she and her other ovations will get from the commercial shoot.

[38:00] She's not really keeping her own economic interests in mind here.

[38:03] Yeah.

[38:05] So after, you know what, I guess they finished the commercial shoot and the others are like, we're going to go home.

[38:08] And Brittany and Joey are like, we'll just hang around in Philly for a while.

[38:11] We'll meet you back at home.

Stuart Wellington

[38:12] I mean, that's the thing that the whole commercial shoot was really a cover because Joey has tracked down another link in this chain and they go to a fun house and shake down a mobster who is, I guess, putting away stuff.

[38:25] I do love this.

[38:26] Like they approach a guy and he's like, I'm just putting away stock.

[38:30] Like he's a guy being interrogated on an episode of SVU or something.

[38:33] I mean, every episode of SVU.

[38:35] Yeah.

[38:35] Al Sapienza from.

[38:36] Yeah, he's from the Sopranos.

[38:38] Sopranos.

[38:38] Yeah.

[38:38] Oh, check out fucking Sopranos guy over here.

[38:41] Dan's the Sopranos guy now.

Elliott Kalan

[38:42] He loves the Sopranos now.

[38:43] He's all about the Sopranos these days.

[38:45] I mean, if you shoot something in New York, you're going to get a Law and Order actor.

[38:48] If you shoot something in New Jersey, you're going to get a Sopranos actor.

[38:50] That's just the way it is.

[38:51] So.

[38:51] You shoot something in Alaska, you're going to get a deadliest catch.

[38:54] That's just the way it is.

[38:55] Now that's the law of the land.

[38:57] Throw it back.

[38:57] If you shoot something in Atlanta, you're going to get a Real Housewives of Atlanta.

[39:00] Especially if you're shooting an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, then you'll definitely get a bunch of them.

[39:04] Yeah, you're going to zoom them.

[39:05] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[39:06] So they shake this guy down using a Cobra.

[39:09] I do love the Cobra effects here because the Cobra initially, you know,

[39:15] there's some hero shots of an actual Cobra.

[39:18] But anytime it shoots Al Sapienza being scared of the Cobra, it looks very fake.

[39:23] It's really fun.

Elliott Kalan

[39:24] Of course, they decided not to actually threaten Al Sapienza with a real Cobra.

Stuart Wellington

[39:28] His fucking CV says Cobra skills.

Elliott Kalan

[39:33] They hired him for a job.

[39:34] But then it turned out he didn't have it.

[39:36] Every actor does that.

[39:36] It also says horseback riding.

[39:37] Exactly.

[39:39] If it says, do you speak French?

[39:40] Of course I speak French.

[39:42] I'll do whatever I need to do to get this job.

[39:43] And then the day comes.

[39:44] So you'll say this in French.

[39:45] I don't know French.

[39:46] You know, that's literally what happens.

[39:48] And if anyone's ever read, if you guys have ever read Bob Balaban's Close Encounters,

[39:51] the Third Kind diary book, it's really good.

[39:54] But he talks about how they're like, you speak French, right?

[39:56] And he's like, he gives them a couple sentences of French he learned in high school.

[39:59] And they're like, perfect.

[40:00] And then later on, he's like, I got to learn French really fast.

[40:03] I'm going to be hanging around France, watch Truffaut all day, apparently.

[40:06] So back to the Atlantic City Boardwalk.

Stuart Wellington

[40:13] Back to reality.

[40:13] Yeah.

[40:15] The ovations are shooting the video that will eventually be the one they use for their hit song, Scream,

[40:23] where they initially, it's not working.

[40:25] And then they find a group of boys sitting on a table.

Elliott Kalan

[40:27] The five ovations success is always built on some other group of people being absorbed into the five ovations.

Stuart Wellington

[40:33] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[40:34] They find these boys and they kind of like challenge them into dancing.

[40:37] It's like a sassy dance battle.

Stuart Wellington

[40:38] Yeah.

[40:39] It's a top hat style.

[40:40] It's very much a top hat.

[40:42] And the song Scream, of course, in this case.

Elliott Kalan

[40:44] None of the dancing is as good as the dancing in top hat.

[40:47] No.

Stuart Wellington

[40:47] Perhaps the greatest of the Fred Astaire Ginger Rogers films.

[40:50] Yeah.

[40:51] And we'll later find out this song.

[40:53] At least the melody was stolen from Britney's brother, Mark.

[40:57] Yeah.

[40:57] Which doesn't disqualify them, but maybe it should.

[41:01] So they edit this video.

[41:03] They love it.

[41:04] And they're like, let's go out and celebrate.

[41:05] And while they leave the studio, one of the Wiggies and one of her enforcers sneaks back in

[41:11] and they're going to edit that video.

[41:13] Uh-oh.

[41:14] And probably make it look bad.

Elliott Kalan

[41:15] And the Wiggie is in disguise as a punk.

[41:17] But I think the enforcer is just a punk.

[41:19] There's like this group of punks that Mark hangs out with.

[41:22] And I'm like, you only see them a little bit.

[41:23] But anyway, when she showed up with blue hair, I didn't notice that it was the same character at first.

[41:27] And I was like, who's this new character?

[41:28] Hold on a second.

[41:29] And I was disappointed that she wasn't actually a character.

Stuart Wellington

[41:32] So next day in school, we're getting some information.

[41:35] The nominees for the semifinals have been announced.

[41:41] The Wiggies are definitely in.

[41:43] It seems like the ovations didn't make it.

[41:46] Later on, we'll find out.

[41:48] Very soon, we'll find out that one of the other contestants was disqualified.

[41:52] So they're in anyway, which feels like a weird ruse here.

[41:55] It does.

[41:56] Like they could have just.

[41:56] Yeah.

[41:57] They could have just had the ovations.

Elliott Kalan

[41:58] And also the fact the ovations do so much that should get them disqualified.

[42:02] It's like, what did this other group do?

[42:03] Did they murder their competitors?

[42:05] Like what happened?

[42:06] I don't understand.

[42:07] How did they get disqualified?

[42:08] Were they all adults, it turns out?

[42:10] Do you know who just put freckles on their faces and wore fake pigtails?

[42:13] I don't understand.

Stuart Wellington

[42:14] Next, we get a somewhat unrelated scene that is one of my favorites in the movie where they

[42:19] are at and are where Brittany and Joey are meeting up at an arcade to talk business.

[42:25] When the guy, the soda stand or whatever is like, what are you drinking?

[42:30] Brittany asks for a skinny water, which I'm like, what the fuck is that?

[42:34] And then, and Joey orders a pepperoni to which the guy replies, small or large.

[42:40] And I'm like, what?

[42:43] What is that?

[42:44] Because it's a small or large pepperoni drink.

[42:49] It's, it's, uh, and then a couple of the punks come in and start accosting them.

[42:53] And that's when Joey uses her bag to incapacitate one of the goons with a electric eel and then

[43:01] a bunch of scorpions spill out.

[43:03] So she has been walking around.

[43:04] Follow her commands.

Elliott Kalan

[43:05] Carrying electric eel scorpions.

[43:07] And she can control, she's like snapping fingers going back in the bag, guys.

[43:10] And the scorpions go back in.

[43:12] This is, this opens up so many questions for me that the movie does not bother to answer.

[43:16] Like, is she, oh, is she a witch?

[43:19] Has she trained these animals?

[43:21] Like, how does she, how is she keeping this electric eel alive in her bag?

[43:24] That's a fish.

[43:25] It's water.

[43:25] It's a pill of water.

[43:26] I mean, it's an eel.

Dan McCoy

[43:27] And then how did the scorpion survive?

Elliott Kalan

[43:28] Exactly.

Stuart Wellington

[43:29] Dan, I've got so many questions.

[43:31] Incompatible animals.

[43:32] Yeah.

[43:34] Did she give them like little scuba gear for surviving underwater?

[43:38] Probably.

Elliott Kalan

[43:39] Does she have a second container in the bag?

Dan McCoy

[43:41] Multi-glam.

[43:43] Oh, two compartments in the bag.

[43:44] Exactly, yeah.

[43:45] It's not a bad idea.

Elliott Kalan

[43:46] I mean, if you're going to keep a water creature and non-water creatures, it's a great idea.

[43:50] I'd say it's the only way to do it.

[43:51] Yeah.

[43:51] It's one of the top ideas.

[43:52] It's easier than teaching scorpions to breathe water or teaching it.

[43:55] To tread water.

[43:56] If she had a lungfish in there, I'd be like, okay, it can survive as long as it's wet for a certain amount of time.

[44:01] But it's an electric eel.

[44:03] A lungfish is not going to shock somebody.

[44:04] And we see it on screen shocking him.

[44:06] So it has to be an electric eel.

Stuart Wellington

[44:09] So Brittany goes home to puzzle all these.

[44:11] Movie, show us the math.

[44:12] We don't understand.

[44:12] Brittany goes home to puzzle all these things while her grandpa fixes her up a bowl of struggle soup.

Elliott Kalan

[44:18] She's like, I think I'm friends with some kind of magic person.

[44:24] With some kind of magic mobster girl.

Dan McCoy

[44:27] She has all these familiars.

[44:29] Drink your water and potato soup.

Elliott Kalan

[44:31] I think you're dealing with a mobster who's one of the fae folk.

[44:34] One of the little folk of the forest.

[44:37] Oh, really?

[44:37] Wow.

Stuart Wellington

[44:38] So this is also when Brittany learns a little bit more about her family backstory.

[44:43] That her brother's romantic entanglement with the Wiggies is very similar to her father's mistakes when it comes to picking women.

[44:53] And that her father, who is no longer in the picture, would always fight with their mother.

[44:57] And at some point, she called the police on him.

[45:01] And he was arrested and put in jail for, I'm guessing, domestic abuse.

[45:04] It must be something like that.

[45:06] And then when he was released from jail, he just disappeared.

[45:09] He abandoned the family.

Elliott Kalan

[45:10] But not before telling them his catchphrase, dumb is dumb and there ain't nothing dumber.

[45:15] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[45:16] Wait, is that real?

[45:17] Is that from you?

[45:18] Yeah, yeah.

[45:18] Yeah.

[45:19] Remember?

[45:19] That's a plot point later.

Elliott Kalan

[45:20] That's a big important thing later.

Stuart Wellington

[45:22] Yeah, that's part of the identification routine.

[45:24] And then later on, Brittany will be looking longingly at a picture of her parents holding her as a baby or her brother as a baby.

[45:31] I don't know for sure.

[45:32] Get the DNA test.

[45:33] Only one way to find out.

[45:34] The picture of her father's face has been—

[45:36] Can we get a DNA sample from a picture?

Elliott Kalan

[45:37] Probably not.

Stuart Wellington

[45:39] It depends.

[45:41] Did they touch the picture?

[45:43] Yeah.

[45:43] That's a good point.

[45:44] Maybe.

[45:44] Yeah, I mean, I have some pictures that you could probably get a DNA test.

[45:48] Oh, uh-oh.

[45:49] Oh, doctor.

[45:54] So the face of her father in the photograph has been blacked out with a Sharpie.

[46:02] Yeah.

[46:02] To protect his anonymity, yeah.

[46:04] But there is a very kind of strange tattoo of like a heart and a cuff around his wrist.

[46:12] Yeah.

[46:12] So that will hopefully come up later.

[46:16] Don't worry.

[46:17] Alana Wannabe has also been accepted into the semifinals.

[46:21] So she's also going.

[46:23] He is going to be.

Elliott Kalan

[46:24] They're all eligible for the $1 million prize.

[46:27] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[46:28] They're all going to New York City.

[46:31] So we get a little bit of footage of New York City and Times Square.

Elliott Kalan

[46:34] You can date exactly when this movie was made because of the ad that is prominently placed

[46:39] for Dimitri Martin's stand-up special on Comedy Central, which is right next to the big jumbotron

[46:44] that they are broadcasting this dance competition on.

[46:47] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[46:48] And there's definitely footage at various points of like green screened cars driving or like pulling up in front of things.

[46:55] Yeah.

[46:56] Yeah, it's great.

[46:57] Okay.

[46:58] So we get to see – we finally get to see at least clips of the music videos that our heroes have all shot.

[47:04] We see bits of Alana Wannabe's dreams where she is basically bragging about how great she is while a bunch of firemen dance behind her.

[47:11] And then there's a weird part where she is in like a department store window and she's like tiny and she is next to a bear.

[47:19] And then she and the bear both get up and start dancing for the amusement of a little kid.

[47:23] It's great.

Elliott Kalan

[47:23] Yeah.

[47:23] It's a music video.

[47:24] It doesn't have to make sense.

Stuart Wellington

[47:25] Yeah.

[47:25] I guess you're right.

[47:26] Thanks, Spike Jones.

[47:28] Then we get to see –

[47:29] No, no, no.

[47:30] That's Elliot.

[47:31] That's Elliot.

[47:31] Oh, I wasn't looking for a second.

[47:33] I thought Spike Jones was a guest.

[47:34] Yeah.

[47:35] No, no, no.

[47:35] No.

Elliott Kalan

[47:36] Neither the director nor the comedy musician of the 1940s.

[47:40] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[47:41] So we get to see the Wiggies video for I think Superstars, which is a lot of footage that we had kind of seen earlier of them like dancing around and doing stuff.

[47:51] And their father is in like a Beethoven wig playing the piano.

[47:55] Yeah.

[47:55] And he is, of course – I can't stress enough how crazy he looks in every scene.

[48:01] Yeah.

[48:01] We haven't mentioned –

[48:02] He wears big, crazy clothes.

[48:03] Yeah.

[48:04] And his wigs are insane.

[48:05] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[48:07] Yeah.

[48:08] He is a larger-than-life character.

[48:10] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[48:10] Later on, there's like a young Einstein-style shock wig kind of –

Elliott Kalan

[48:18] And does he get a bath scene?

[48:20] Yes.

[48:20] You do get to see him in a bathtub later, so don't worry.

[48:22] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[48:22] So if you – yeah, if you were waiting to see him topless, covered in water and bubbles, you get it.

[48:27] You get it.

[48:28] Yeah.

[48:28] In case you were wondering, hey, what's under those loud clothes?

[48:32] Yeah, yeah.

[48:33] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[48:33] Yeah.

[48:33] All the people who came to this kid's movie waiting to see some man meat.

[48:38] So we also see the ovations video for Scream, which they had filmed on the boardwalk earlier with those boys.

[48:45] And of course, somebody re-edited it and inserted like farts and realistic vomit and all other kinds of things.

[48:52] They did an amazing job with the vomit effects.

Elliott Kalan

[48:55] If those are high school students or junior high students who edited it, they did an amazing job making it look like she was throwing up all over the other people.

[49:02] I'm going to say, Tom Vaziri, get them in there.

[49:03] Yeah.

[49:04] Come on.

[49:04] These are prodigies.

[49:05] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[49:05] Tap them in.

[49:06] Tap them in.

[49:07] But it's only at the end of the music video.

[49:08] So you do get to see like most of the music video and then all this like stuff at the end.

[49:14] So the audience is like loving it.

[49:15] They're like, oh, how hilarious.

[49:18] So they're intentional.

[49:19] It's a classic to producers.

Elliott Kalan

[49:21] They should hate it, but they love it.

Stuart Wellington

[49:23] Yeah.

[49:23] They're announcing which of those semifinalists are getting into the finals.

[49:28] Of course, the Wiggies are in because they're incredible.

[49:33] And the ovations make it in.

[49:34] They're genuinely very good at what they're doing.

[49:35] Yeah.

[49:36] Alana does not make it in and she is not happy about it.

[49:39] But the ovations are in despite the edit to their video.

[49:43] At some point, say because.

[49:44] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[49:45] So.

[49:47] Are people disappointed when they go to a Weird Al show and it's funny?

[49:51] I don't think so.

[49:52] I'm sure some people are.

[49:53] Maybe.

[49:54] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[49:54] I was looking for something weird, not funny.

Elliott Kalan

[49:58] I wanted to have my mind turned inside.

[50:00] I wanted to be mind freaked.

[50:02] Oh, you got to see a different guy for that.

[50:03] Oh, okay.

[50:04] Never mind.

Stuart Wellington

[50:05] But wait, I thought.

[50:06] Mind freaked out.

[50:07] I thought that guy was an angel.

[50:10] No, just a Chris.

[50:11] Oh, okay.

[50:12] Oh, yeah.

[50:14] A Ruth's Chris?

Elliott Kalan

[50:15] Yeah.

[50:16] Ruth's Chris.

[50:17] Yeah.

[50:18] A strangely named steak restaurant.

[50:21] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[50:23] So, at some point, Brittany's brother Mark broke up with.

[50:27] Have you guys ever been to Ruth's Christ?

[50:30] I've heard the good news.

[50:32] Yeah.

[50:32] How does he differ from regular Christ?

[50:34] Well, he belongs to Ruth.

[50:36] Okay.

[50:37] So, at some point, Brittany's brother Mark broke up with whichever wiggy he was dating.

[50:42] They're all the same.

[50:43] And he compliments her.

Elliott Kalan

[50:46] Yeah, Dan, tell me.

[50:47] Tell me some personality differences between the wiggies.

Dan McCoy

[50:50] Well, there was that.

[50:51] There's one nicer wiggy.

[50:54] Because at the end, that wiggy congratulates the ovations.

[50:58] She's the one who doesn't sweep the leg.

[51:00] Yeah.

[51:01] That's all I got.

Stuart Wellington

[51:05] So, Brittany and Mark kind of come up with a scheme that they're like, hey, maybe we should work together.

[51:11] And Mark's like, I got a new song, but I don't know if you guys can handle it.

[51:15] It requires some really complicated dancing.

[51:18] So, enter some dancer auditions where they audition Jasmine and two other people.

[51:26] One is a little boy who dances really crazy.

[51:28] And then one is a very flexible girl.

[51:31] Like a contortionist.

[51:32] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[51:33] Yeah.

[51:33] The idea that this songwriter is like, this song requires too much complex dancing for you guys to do as a song.

[51:42] Mm-hmm.

[51:43] I don't quite see how that follows, but okay.

Elliott Kalan

[51:48] I mean, you're really limiting the market.

[51:50] If you're a professional songwriter, you're limiting the market for your music if you're writing a song that requires an elaborate dance.

[51:55] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[51:56] Even Land of a Thousand Dances doesn't really require a thousand dancers.

[52:00] It just has a few dances, really.

[52:01] Just a few.

[52:01] You count them up.

[52:02] To be honest, you should sue them for false advertising.

Stuart Wellington

[52:04] So, the ovations are all ready to sign.

[52:06] At least Land of Lakes has those lakes, you know.

Dan McCoy

[52:09] In every stick of butter.

Elliott Kalan

[52:12] There's at least two lakes.

[52:13] Plural.

[52:14] Yeah.

[52:15] And Land's End, you could fall right off the edge of that thing.

[52:17] Right into space.

Dan McCoy

[52:18] Mm-hmm.

[52:19] That's why I never go.

[52:21] It's too dangerous.

[52:21] That's why I never go to Howard's End either.

[52:23] Oh, no.

Elliott Kalan

[52:24] Howard's End is, it's either the end of the world or it's just some guy named Howard's butt and you don't need it.

[52:30] No, we've rented Howard's End.

[52:31] We've rented Howard's End for the summer.

[52:33] What?

[52:34] What?

[52:36] What?

[52:36] We're just camping out of this guy's butt.

[52:42] He's not happy about it.

[52:43] He's not happy about it, but he didn't have to put up the ad renting his end, you know.

[52:46] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[52:47] So, they're all ready to hire these new dancers, but uh-oh, there's a catch.

[52:52] These are Alana Wannabe's cousins, and she is officially their manager.

[52:57] So, they have to strike a deal, which we'll learn, is to include Alana in the performance.

[53:02] Finally, the superstar has the vehicle.

[53:04] Mm-hmm.

[53:06] Now, the Wiggies throw a party, I guess, for being entered into the finals, is where they're singing Splish Splash, Taking a Bath, while we get to see Mr. Wig washing himself.

[53:17] Yeah.

[53:17] As he does in the lyrics.

[53:19] While he's washing himself.

[53:21] And he's still wearing a wig in the tub, too, right?

Dan McCoy

[53:24] Yeah.

[53:24] Probably.

[53:25] I gotta say, guys, Splish Splash is one of the top songs to sing while you're taking a bath.

Elliott Kalan

[53:31] It is, I have to say, it is one of, if not the third most appropriate songs to sing in a bath.

[53:39] Yeah, yeah.

[53:40] Thanks.

[53:40] I didn't realize Steve Harvey was hosting this podcast.

Dan McCoy

[53:44] I didn't realize the songs to sing when you're taking a bath.

[53:45] In my personal opinion, Splish Splash is one of the best ones.

[53:49] Yeah.

[53:49] One of the top songs.

Elliott Kalan

[53:50] Even though it's, they say, I was taking a bath in the past tense.

[53:53] Survey says.

[53:54] Well, you're personally in the bath.

[53:55] Yeah.

[53:55] Seems inappropriate to me.

[53:59] I was taking a bath a moment ago and I still am.

[54:01] Yeah.

[54:02] What are their bath songs?

[54:03] I mean, there's Rubber Ducky.

[54:04] That's pretty much the only other one, right?

[54:05] Rubber Ducky.

[54:06] That's the other one.

[54:06] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[54:07] Who makes bath time lots of fun.

Elliott Kalan

[54:08] And again, that doesn't have to be while you're in the bath.

[54:11] As long as the Rubber Ducky is there to hear the song, you can sing it.

[54:15] Unless it's a case of apostrophe, the rhetorical device where you're addressing something that

[54:19] cannot address back either because it can't talk or it's not there.

[54:23] You know?

[54:23] Mm-hmm.

[54:23] I guess for Rubber Ducky, that always applies because it can't talk.

[54:25] I guess it can squeak back.

Dan McCoy

[54:27] Yeah.

[54:28] And it does.

Elliott Kalan

[54:30] It needs a little help.

[54:31] But still, if it does it on its own, you are in a haunted bathtub.

[54:36] Please leave and return the unused portion of your bath for partial refunds.

Stuart Wellington

[54:42] You got to cram it back up in the faucet?

[54:44] Just stick it back in the faucet.

Elliott Kalan

[54:45] Yeah.

[54:45] Okay.

[54:46] With a note to the water company.

[54:47] Yeah.

[54:48] Sorry, haunted bath.

Stuart Wellington

[54:50] Mike, there's supposed to be a haunted bath.

[54:53] It does.

[54:54] The Shining is a haunted bath.

[54:55] Yeah.

[54:56] I think that just, you know, good movies have haunted baths.

[55:00] Those are the two best movies.

[55:02] Those are the two scariest movies to watch in the bath.

[55:04] Yeah.

[55:05] Mm-hmm.

[55:06] That one where Freddy's claw goes all crazy.

[55:09] You know what I'm talking about?

Dan McCoy

[55:10] I mean, you don't know if it goes crazy.

[55:11] It comes out from between the legs of someone.

[55:13] It's pretty crazy.

[55:14] It's pretty crazy.

[55:15] Pretty crazy.

[55:15] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[55:16] And of course, Psycho is that, but for showers.

[55:18] Showers.

[55:19] Also not a movie you want to watch while you're in the bath.

[55:21] Yeah.

[55:21] Mm-hmm.

[55:23] Fatal Attraction, another movie that you're too scared to watch in the bath.

[55:26] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[55:27] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[55:28] Mini Jaws, the movie where Jaws comes out of people's pipes and attacks them in the bath.

Dan McCoy

[55:31] And of course, Paddington, terrifying.

[55:34] That kind of happened in Leonard Part 6, right?

[55:36] I don't.

[55:37] All I remember from Leonard Part 6.

[55:38] I have wiped Leonard Part 6 in my brain.

[55:39] All I remember is the part where there's-

Elliott Kalan

[55:40] I don't recommend watching it now.

[55:42] No.

[55:42] Yes, yes.

[55:43] All I remember is the part where there's attack lobsters, and they stop them by magicking

[55:46] up some melted butter, which scares the lobsters away.

[55:49] Right.

[55:49] That's all I remember from that movie.

Dan McCoy

[55:50] Are there bees in that movie, too?

[55:52] I don't.

Elliott Kalan

[55:52] I told you what I remember from the movie, Dan.

[55:54] I told you.

[55:56] I've angered Elliot.

[55:57] Don't.

[55:58] I said, this is all I remember.

[55:59] And you go, oh, tell me one other thing about the movie.

[56:01] I can't, Dan.

[56:01] I can't.

[56:02] I thought that if I said it, maybe you'd remember.

[56:04] No, no.

[56:04] I was very clear.

[56:05] I was very clear about the limits of my knowledge of Leonard Part 6, and you deliberately taunted

[56:10] me.

[56:11] I'm sorry.

[56:12] Hostile.

[56:13] I apologize.

[56:13] Not even a microaggression.

[56:14] That was a macroaggression, Dan.

[56:15] You know what?

Dan McCoy

[56:16] I'll send you a nice card later.

[56:18] Thank you.

[56:19] Please.

[56:19] At least a fucking edible arrangement or something.

Elliott Kalan

[56:21] Something that's the least you could do.

[56:23] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[56:24] I'm sorry.

[56:25] I'm going to the edible arrangement shop.

[56:26] Do you have any Leonard Part 6?

[56:29] Do you have any Leonard Part 6?

[56:30] Faux-là related.

[56:30] And then go, yes, right over here.

[56:32] Oh, yeah.

[56:32] We have a lot of them.

[56:33] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[56:34] Yeah.

[56:34] We actually get a lot of call for that.

[56:36] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[56:36] That's part of our Cosby deletion.

Dan McCoy

[56:41] You don't want to know.

Elliott Kalan

[56:42] You don't want to be there.

[56:43] And he shouldn't eat the stuff in the edible arrangement in the Cosby collection.

Dan McCoy

[56:46] No, no, no, no, no.

[56:47] No.

Elliott Kalan

[56:48] Again, more jokes about the tragedies of Hollywood.

Dan McCoy

[56:50] The tragedies of Hollywood.

[56:51] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[56:52] There's just something in the air with the standing of patience.

Stuart Wellington

[56:55] We're just crossing boundaries.

Dan McCoy

[56:57] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[56:57] While Mr. Wiggs is taking a bath, Brittany and Joey sneak into their bedroom and put frozen fleas on all the wigs.

[57:07] Yeah.

[57:08] Frozen because if they were not, they would obviously contaminate themselves.

[57:11] Yeah.

[57:12] So this gives them time to warm up.

[57:14] And their time release fleas.

[57:15] They're really going to affect them when they need them to.

[57:18] Yeah, yeah.

[57:18] Most silly moment.

[57:21] So then the Wiggies and their father and mother get all dressed up at their own party and start singing Under the Boardwalk.

[57:29] Yep.

[57:30] Which is kind of a weird one to sing with your kids, right?

Elliott Kalan

[57:32] Is that like Ashton in the Light?

[57:35] It's about like having sex with your girl under the boardwalk.

[57:37] Yeah, under the boardwalk.

[57:38] It's kind of weird though, right?

[57:39] Okay, thank you.

[57:40] I feel like I've seen so many movies or TV shows where there's been a song that is clearly meant to be a romantic song is sung by parents and their kids and they don't seem to realize it.

[57:51] And I don't like it.

[57:53] I've never done that with my children, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[57:55] That's good to know.

[57:56] So the fleas.

Elliott Kalan

[57:58] If we're going to sing a song, it's going to be probably the jingle to an insurance company commercial since they love those.

[58:02] If you want to sing along with my kids, just go, we are farmers.

[58:06] They will say, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

Dan McCoy

[58:07] And that's safe because jingles to an insurance company are rarely about fucking.

[58:11] So you don't have to worry about it.

Stuart Wellington

[58:13] Very rarely.

[58:14] There was.

[58:15] Unless it's fucking insurance.

[58:20] So, of course, those fleas wake up at the most opportune moment, ruining the performance and everyone laughs at them.

[58:26] Yeah.

[58:26] Yep.

[58:26] Enter the finals.

Elliott Kalan

[58:28] The audiences in these movies are always mean.

[58:30] They're always ready to laugh at the people on stage.

Dan McCoy

[58:33] They came with rotten vegetables in crates.

[58:36] Why would you do that?

Stuart Wellington

[58:38] That's why it took me so long to get comfortable performing live with the Flophouse because I always assumed people were going to be mean to me.

[58:44] You figured that they were coming with rotten vegetables just in case.

[58:48] I mean, they shouldn't put the fucking studio next to a rotten vegetable stand.

[58:52] That was a mistake.

Dan McCoy

[58:53] And why is that person selling rotten vegetables?

[58:56] Oh, no.

[58:56] Why are people buying them?

Elliott Kalan

[58:58] None of it adds up.

[58:59] So many questions.

[59:00] Right after we figure out how Joey can command scorpions and keep them in the same bag as Neil, we got to get to the bottom of this rotten vegetable thing.

Stuart Wellington

[59:08] Okay.

[59:08] So the finals have started.

Elliott Kalan

[59:10] To be honest, the trope comes from olden days when people would carry their food with them and rotten vegetables were just called vegetables, I think, at the time.

[59:18] Yeah.

[59:18] Right.

[59:19] Makes sense.

[59:20] They could not be as picky back then.

[59:22] Yeah.

[59:22] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[59:23] So we start the finals.

[59:25] There are four groups performing.

Elliott Kalan

[59:27] The first is…

[59:28] You got to really…

[59:29] Actually, you got to admire the dedication to throwing your rotten vegetables at the performers because that means you will not eat that night.

[59:35] You are giving up a meal.

[59:36] Yeah.

[59:36] I'm going to be hungry tonight, but at least they're going to know I didn't like the show.

[59:40] Yeah.

[59:40] Like that's, you know.

Dan McCoy

[59:42] Yeah.

[59:42] My disapproval is more important to me in this moment than my stomach.

Elliott Kalan

[59:47] I had to say to myself…

[59:48] I'm sure there's…

[59:49] What's more important?

[59:50] The arts or my temporary starvation?

[59:53] Yeah.

[59:53] And, you know, I got to give my own comfort up to ensure high standards in the performing arts.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:00] I'm sure there has to have been a bit where, like, a medieval performer was intentionally bad so he would get free rotten vegetables.

[1:00:07] Oh, for sure.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:08] For sure.

[1:00:08] I mean, it's right there with Wizard of Oz when she wants to be…

[1:00:11] She wants…

[1:00:11] She's hungry, so she insults those trees, so they'll throw the apples at her.

[1:00:14] Yeah, I'm sure that's happening at some point.

[1:00:15] Yeah.

[1:00:16] Yeah.

[1:00:16] And, you know, the audience…

[1:00:17] The fact problem was the performers would get all these rotten vegetables and be like,

[1:00:20] they love us.

[1:00:21] We're eating tonight, folks.

[1:00:23] They gave us all their food.

[1:00:24] So they'd be more bad the next time.

[1:00:26] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:26] Yeah.

[1:00:26] Even worse.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:27] Yeah.

[1:00:27] In Elizabethan drama circles, that's called the rotten vegetable declining standards spiral.

[1:00:34] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:34] Yeah.

[1:00:34] There was no moral hazard as a problem.

[1:00:37] That's why we got so much bad art.

[1:00:38] Or even Dukes of Hazzard.

[1:00:39] They didn't have them back then.

[1:00:40] They didn't know.

[1:00:40] Or Merle Haggard.

[1:00:41] No, they didn't have them.

[1:00:43] None of those things that vaguely sound alike.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:46] You prove us wrong.

[1:00:48] Prove us wrong.

[1:00:48] Show us that any of those things existed in the late 1500s in England.

[1:00:52] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:53] Man, Merle Haggard would have flipped their fucking lid all day.

[1:00:55] They would have loved him.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:56] They would have loved him.

[1:00:57] And why wouldn't they?

[1:00:58] He's great.

[1:00:59] Yeah.

[1:01:00] I'm sure he did something bad in his life.

[1:01:02] I apologize if he did.

[1:01:03] I don't know it.

[1:01:04] I'm only judging him by the work.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:05] Yeah.

[1:01:05] Thank you for that.

[1:01:06] Thank you for that.

[1:01:07] Oh, yeah.

[1:01:08] Just in case.

[1:01:08] Elliot's foot's still on base, everybody.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:10] You can't tag him out.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:12] Now, what they did have back then was Merle Haggard, the wizard, who also was a bad boy of country.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:17] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:18] Aged backwards.

[1:01:20] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:23] Until he got stuck in a tree.

[1:01:25] And that's why the tree plays music now.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:26] Oh, that does make sense.

[1:01:28] Yeah.

[1:01:28] So, the first of our finalists is a boy band called Diverse.

[1:01:32] And they sing their song, I don't know, like, what is it?

[1:01:37] You don't have to know.

[1:01:38] It's fine.

[1:01:39] It doesn't matter.

[1:01:39] But a lot of their lyrics are basically just naming other pop stars.

[1:01:43] Yeah.

[1:01:45] We find out that the ovations are having car trouble and they're stuck on, I don't know,

[1:01:50] I'm assuming, what, the Jersey Parkway or something?

Dan McCoy

[1:01:52] Probably the Turnpike.

[1:01:53] Yeah.

[1:01:54] There's so many of them and, like, they're trying to hitch a ride.

[1:01:57] And I'm like, first I'm like, you're not going to be able to hitchhike with that many ovations.

[1:02:03] And then I'm like, how did that many ovations fit in the van in the first place?

[1:02:06] Mm-hmm.

[1:02:07] So many questions about containers in this movie.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:10] And we were, and it's heavily implied that Mr. Wiggs cut their fan belt.

[1:02:14] Yes.

[1:02:14] Which is why.

[1:02:15] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:16] Again, he's addicted to sabotage.

[1:02:18] Yeah.

[1:02:18] He doesn't believe in, he's like those, he's like a regular Felicity Huffman,

[1:02:23] bribing to get their kids into college because they don't believe enough in their kids.

[1:02:27] You've got to believe in the Wiggies.

[1:02:28] They're good.

[1:02:29] They'll win.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:29] Not an irregular Felicity Huffman, which would sound a little like this.

[1:02:34] Which you can get at a discount.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:37] At the Felicity Huffman outlet.

[1:02:38] Yeah.

[1:02:42] They're perfectly usable, Felicity Huffmans.

[1:02:44] They just don't, you know, they're like display models.

[1:02:47] They don't look quite as new.

[1:02:48] Yeah.

[1:02:48] Do you have any irregular William H. Macy's?

[1:02:51] No, no.

[1:02:51] That's right.

[1:02:52] That's next door.

[1:02:53] Yeah.

[1:02:54] They're all very regular.

[1:02:55] He has a lot of fiber in his diet.

[1:02:56] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:58] So the ovations car trouble is quickly resolved when they just take a single cab to Times Square

[1:03:04] and they all pour out of it while we get a shot of a cab driver who's wearing, it looks like, a Norway flag

[1:03:11] who is shouting about them all getting out.

[1:03:15] And then I think, yeah, it's weird.

[1:03:17] Okay.

[1:03:18] So.

[1:03:18] He's like, how many people are in this cab?

[1:03:20] Yeah.

[1:03:21] So the next is a, the next finalist is the Minarets who are performing a kind of gospel

[1:03:27] number called the Power of Love.

[1:03:30] And then that's over.

[1:03:32] Not again, not the Huey Lewis song.

[1:03:34] Of course not that.

[1:03:35] And then the Wiggies come up and they sing their song Dancing Girls.

[1:03:39] Again, bringing on the weird rapper guy that we had seen earlier, who's kind of like a hype

[1:03:44] man for the Wiggies.

[1:03:45] Yes.

[1:03:46] And a lot of the song is kind of about them dancing and like, I don't know, being turned on or something.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:51] This may be, I'm not sure, this may be MC John, who is the only member of the cast who has his own Wikipedia page.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:00] Yeah, yeah.

[1:04:01] We have our own Wikipedia pages, guys.

[1:04:03] We do.

[1:04:03] Yeah, that's true.

[1:04:04] We're like MC John.

[1:04:07] So, of course, their performance tears it up.

[1:04:10] People are loving it.

[1:04:11] There are multiple people giving their standing ovations.

[1:04:15] Like the title.

[1:04:16] Grandpa's like, ain't no way we're going to beat them unless we burn the house down.

[1:04:21] Turns out there is a mountain high enough.

[1:04:23] The Wiggies performance.

[1:04:26] And.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:27] I shouldn't have bet on the ovations.

[1:04:29] I should have bet on the Wiggies.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:31] Yeah, he put all his money.

[1:04:32] Well, finally, a bet pays off for him as we'll find out.

[1:04:35] Yeah, we'll see.

[1:04:36] Yeah.

[1:04:36] So, the ovations are about to go out on stage when Joey interrupts them and is like, hey, I found the guy.

[1:04:42] So, after the show, we got to go deal with the guy who killed my dad.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:46] Brittany's like, can I, can you tell me that after we perform so I don't have that hanging over my head while I'm performing?

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:52] Okay.

[1:04:52] So, now the ovations get out there and they perform.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:55] Just so you know, you should perform your heart out.

[1:04:57] Not only because this is the finals, but we're going to go, we're going to go confront the man, the dangerous mobster that stole from my dad right after this.

[1:05:04] You might die.

[1:05:05] So, really perform like this is your best show.

[1:05:07] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:08] You want to be remembered.

[1:05:09] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:12] So, they play their song.

[1:05:14] This is your chance to become a legend.

[1:05:16] Legends have to die.

[1:05:17] That's how they become legends.

[1:05:18] Well, not John Legend.

[1:05:19] He just called himself Legend.

[1:05:20] Ah, that's a loophole.

[1:05:21] That's a loophole.

[1:05:22] It's too late.

[1:05:22] He already did that.

[1:05:23] No one else can ever do it again.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:26] So, this song, Shooting Star, written by Brittany's brother, Mark, that was too complicated so they need new people, of course, makes sense when we see it.

[1:05:33] It begins with-

[1:05:34] There's so many people on stage.

[1:05:36] There's so many people on stage.

[1:05:36] Too many.

[1:05:37] It's like the polyphonic spree up there.

[1:05:41] The dancer Jasmine is all done up like a sci-fi robot lady.

[1:05:45] She explains that she is a space traveler T2 female version.

[1:05:52] Like Terminator 2?

[1:05:53] Something like-

[1:05:54] Yeah.

[1:05:54] And she's like, make me dance.

[1:05:56] And so, she-

[1:05:57] And just like Terminator 2.

[1:05:58] So, she like starts to dance-

[1:06:00] Make me dance if you want to live.

[1:06:01] Yeah.

[1:06:02] So, she starts to dance while Alana runs around like throat singing into a microphone.

[1:06:09] And it's really great because there's like, there ain't no way that kid's making those sounds.

[1:06:14] No.

[1:06:15] And then the kids like dance around for a bit.

[1:06:18] Then we get some singing.

[1:06:19] And then midway through, we get a break where the other dancer kid is like, I am also a space traveler T3 male version.

[1:06:27] Make me dance.

[1:06:28] And then like he dances super fucking sassy.

[1:06:31] And I'm like, this is crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:33] Jasmine does like belly dancing.

[1:06:34] She does kind of like, you know, like Mediterranean, Middle Eastern kind of like.

[1:06:38] So, it is a flavor of dancing that at least the ovations are not prepared to provide themselves, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:44] And they don't have as much stank as what this little kid is putting on.

[1:06:48] No, this little kid.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:49] Like this little kid.

[1:06:50] I want to see this little kid and Alana Wannabe do a show together because they would have-

[1:06:53] It would be the cockiest show in the world.

[1:06:55] They would be like negging the audience the whole time.

[1:06:58] It would be amazing.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:58] Yeah.

[1:06:58] And I guess if this song is about future robots who want people to make them dance, it does make sense.

[1:07:04] So, they had to get specific dancers for this song.

[1:07:07] So, I take back my songwriting objection.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:10] You know what?

[1:07:11] Yeah.

[1:07:11] Mark, you're okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:13] So, I feel like a lot of this movie and this sequence in particular is basically like if you got invited to your friend's kid's dance performance.

[1:07:27] Like talent show performance.

[1:07:28] It's not just like that.

[1:07:29] It is exactly that.

[1:07:30] But it turns out like your friend's kid isn't there and you just have to sit and watch the whole thing.

[1:07:37] So, you have like zero skin in the game.

[1:07:39] And I mean-

[1:07:40] But you're stuck there because you're not a big enough asshole to get up and leave in the middle of a children's performance.

[1:07:45] I like wanky dance performances.

[1:07:47] Dan, did you ever go back at Earlham?

[1:07:48] Dan and I went to college together, Earlham College.

[1:07:50] Oh, wow.

[1:07:50] Did you ever go to Dance Alley?

[1:07:51] Oh, I went to Dance Alley every time.

[1:07:53] Every time.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:54] Explain to me what it is because I didn't go to Earlham College.

[1:07:56] What is that?

[1:07:56] What is Dance Alley?

[1:07:57] Dance Alley was-

[1:07:58] Oh, Dance L.A.

[1:07:59] I thought it was like-

[1:08:00] Alloy.

[1:08:01] Alloy.

[1:08:02] Like a medal.

[1:08:03] Oh, I thought you said Dance Alley.

[1:08:04] Like there was like an alley in the campus where people were just always kicking it.

[1:08:07] Dance Alley sounds pretty good.

[1:08:07] That's pretty cool too.

[1:08:08] Dance Alley is a great name for a dance show.

[1:08:10] Dance Alley.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:11] Dance Man's parents died in Dance Alley.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:15] We were coming out of a palopolis show when my parents were mugged by Joe Chill.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:20] There was no official like dance program at Earlham.

[1:08:24] So this was the student run dance show that they would do every semester where like if you wanted to put on a dance, like you would just like say, hey, I want to do a dance and Dance Alley.

[1:08:34] And I think there was like maybe some level of audition, but mostly you were just like, you can do whatever you want.

[1:08:39] So each like group or person could do it like my college girlfriend did like step dancing because that was big at the time.

[1:08:50] And it was a pretty good step dance.

[1:08:52] But like, yeah, it was just-

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:54] It could have been the times that I was often pretty high when I went, but it was always super fun.

[1:08:59] I remember once where there was like a vampire themed sword fight dance.

[1:09:04] And then there was a big group of women who were doing an interpretive dance to I think Unforgiven 2 by Metallica.

[1:09:13] Wow.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:13] It was fucking awesome.

[1:09:15] This was pretty much the most popular event at Earlham.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:18] I mean, not a surprise from what I'm hearing.

[1:09:20] It sounds fantastic.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:22] Yeah.

[1:09:22] Yeah, it was super fun.

[1:09:23] So I like that shit, but I feel like this, I wish Standing Ovation captured some of that energy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:29] Ironically, I went to a school that had one of the best musical theater performance programs in the country.

[1:09:35] And I feel like I never heard about, you can come see this dance show.

[1:09:39] Maybe I just wasn't paying attention.

[1:09:40] I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:40] Well, I think if you're like, yeah, if you're more starved for it, you know.

[1:09:44] There was less to do in Richmond, Indiana.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:46] I could also go see Broadway shows.

[1:09:47] Exactly.

[1:09:50] Okay, so the ovations-

[1:09:52] I've said it before.

[1:09:52] I really, when I was young, took it for granted that I lived in very close proximity to one of the great theater and museum centers of the world.

[1:10:03] And it strikes me all the time how lucky I was.

[1:10:05] A lot of people don't get that, which they should, but they don't.

[1:10:08] So props to you, Fate, for having me grow up in New Jersey.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:13] Yeah, the three Fates.

[1:10:14] You spun your future.

[1:10:18] Clotho did a good job.

[1:10:20] Did a good job with the thread this time.

[1:10:21] I thought so.

[1:10:21] The best.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:22] I gotta give it up to you, Clotho.

[1:10:24] Appreciate it.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:25] Otho?

[1:10:26] From Beetlejuice?

[1:10:27] No, not Otho.

[1:10:28] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:29] Although, I mean, he kind of deserves it, too.

[1:10:32] We know who we're not giving props to in the Beetlejuice.

[1:10:36] Yes, in the Beetlejuice world, there's one person in particular.

[1:10:38] There's kind of one person we're not supposed to reference another terrible Hollywood event.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:46] I can't stay away from him.

[1:10:47] I can't stop.

[1:10:48] At some point, this became the Flophouse with A.J. Benza.

[1:10:51] So I don't know how.

[1:10:54] What other tragedies and crimes can we bring up from Hollywood?

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:57] So after the Ovation's performance, they bring up all four contestants on stage.

[1:11:02] And they, starting with the bottom, give everybody their consolation prizes.

[1:11:06] And everybody, like, freaks out when their name is called.

[1:11:08] I'm like, but you're being said you didn't win the whole thing.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:11] They're so excited to win third place.

[1:11:13] Yeah.

[1:11:13] And it's like, you were part of the final four.

[1:11:15] There was a pretty good chance you'd win third.

[1:11:17] But yeah.

[1:11:18] And everybody makes money.

[1:11:20] I mean, the thing is, the prizes are all pretty, are really good.

[1:11:23] Pretty good.

[1:11:24] I think the fact that this is fictional.

[1:11:25] More than you would expect.

[1:11:25] And none of these people are actually going to make that money.

[1:11:27] They really went wild with the amounts they're giving out.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:30] More than the budget of the movie, probably.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:33] I don't know about that.

[1:11:34] According to Wikipedia, this movie had a $5.6 million budget.

[1:11:38] Wow.

[1:11:38] Which seems high.

[1:11:39] I'm going to eat my hat.

[1:11:41] Luckily, you're wearing a hat made out of ham today.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:45] Yeah, that's what the H in hat stands for, dumbass.

[1:11:47] Yeah, ham at top.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:50] That's what it means.

[1:11:51] Dashiell ham hat.

[1:11:53] Dashiell ham hats.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:55] Always had somebody to snack on while he was writing his books.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:59] It's a classic novel, A Marbled Fedora.

[1:12:01] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:03] So the ovations win.

[1:12:04] I'm going to cut the chase.

[1:12:06] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:12:06] We don't need that.

[1:12:07] Surprise, surprise.

[1:12:08] The stars of the movie win.

[1:12:09] Surprise, surprise.

[1:12:09] They win.

[1:12:09] Win it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:10] The ovations win the movie called Standing Ovation.

[1:12:13] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:13] Before they can really celebrate too much, Joey steals Britney away so they can track down

[1:12:18] the guy who stole that money.

[1:12:20] Yeah.

[1:12:20] They go to what I think is the offices of CDS Entertainment.

[1:12:25] Yes.

[1:12:26] And where everybody is already talking about these amazing kids.

[1:12:31] They storm into the office of the head of the company.

[1:12:33] And that turns out that he's the one who did it.

[1:12:37] And Joey is explaining all of like that he needs to give back the money, cause all this

[1:12:42] problems.

[1:12:43] And this is a guy who we have been led to believe is at least a murderer.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:46] Yeah.

[1:12:47] And he's got real coked out sleaze energy too.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:50] Yes.

[1:12:50] It's hard to believe him as the head of a major media company because he seems like such a

[1:12:55] low level sleaze guy as opposed to the high level sleaze that would have, great Gatsby

[1:13:01] style, tried to cover up his sleazy beginnings with a veneer of class and sophistication.

[1:13:07] And the fact that he is a murderous mobster who is now the head of a major media company,

[1:13:11] this deadline has really fallen down on the job, but they haven't broken this story yet.

[1:13:15] Yeah.

[1:13:16] If ever there was a reason for page six or TMZ to be around, it's this story.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:21] In 2026, would I believe it?

[1:13:24] Yes.

[1:13:24] Oh, for sure.

[1:13:25] In 2010 when this was made?

[1:13:26] No.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:27] I thought TMZ's real role was to keep buying all them big gulps, right?

[1:13:31] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:31] They are supporting the big gulp industry.

[1:13:33] Now that we live in a country run by a gangster, it's a little bit easier to believe.

[1:13:38] But back then it would have been harder.

[1:13:39] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:40] So while they're arguing with this guy who's like, I'm not going to give back money, yada,

[1:13:45] yada, yada, we see on his cuff, he has the same tattoo.

[1:13:51] Wait a minute.

[1:13:52] This is Britney's dad?

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:53] And he also tells them, you're dumb, and dumb is dumb, and there ain't nothing dumb.

[1:13:57] She's like, wait, what?

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:59] So, yeah, that was a little Easter egg that Stuart missed on his two viewings of this movie.

[1:14:06] I'm amazed.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:07] I'm amazed.

[1:14:08] Hey, we got equal viewings now.

[1:14:10] More a plant that then pays off later, but yeah, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:13] Yeah.

[1:14:14] So they argue.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:16] I apologize, Stuart, that you had to watch this movie twice where a surfer teen confronts fear.

[1:14:19] I fast forwarded through sections of that movie because it was a surfing pitch.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:24] Well, I feel like this movie is so chock full of stuff that it was hard for me to get along straight.

[1:14:30] That's what they put on the poster.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:32] Chock full of stuff.

[1:14:34] Guys, if you want nuts, don't go to chock full of stuff.

[1:14:37] No.

[1:14:38] Or coffee, go to chock full of nuts.

[1:14:39] Don't go to chock full of stuff.

[1:14:41] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:41] So angry Joey stomps off.

[1:14:42] You don't know what's going to end up in that thing.

[1:14:43] Yeah.

[1:14:44] Joey stomps off and has an asthma attack that is resolved.

[1:14:50] Brittany's dad is immediately like, yeah, okay, you forgive me?

[1:14:53] And she's like, no, and leaves.

[1:14:56] And then so the next morning she wakes up and there's a big, I guess, like a big spread on the boardwalk.

[1:15:02] And then he pulls up in a big fancy car and you find out that he made amends and made right with everyone and paid Joey back and bought a house.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:12] So fast.

[1:15:13] It's like he's buying everyone off.

[1:15:15] Like he's just like.

[1:15:15] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:16] He just provides Christmas presents for all the kids.

[1:15:18] He gives money.

[1:15:19] He buys a house for Joey's family.

[1:15:21] He's like, there, my crimes are atoned for.

[1:15:23] I'm now your loving father.

[1:15:25] But it's also one of those things where it's like, he's like, oh, I really missed having you in my life.

[1:15:29] Well, at any point in the years when you were a rich media executive and your son and daughter were living hand to mouth with your father-in-law, like what were you doing?

[1:15:39] What's going on?

[1:15:40] He must have another family.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:41] I was waiting to be shamed into paying people.

[1:15:44] Well, but it is like, it feels, it honestly feels like a very New Jersey fable.

[1:15:50] Yeah.

[1:15:50] Yes, I can see that.

[1:15:51] This guy was such a good mobster that he made a bunch of money.

[1:15:54] So he's forgiven.

[1:15:55] He's one of the good guys.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:56] He brings it back to the neighborhood.

[1:15:58] You know?

[1:15:58] Yeah.

[1:15:58] He's not just taking care of himself.

[1:16:00] He's taking care of the neighborhood.

[1:16:01] He's a hero.

[1:16:02] You know, he's like, you know, you know, God blesses his beautiful, noble gangster soul.

[1:16:08] Gotti himself.

[1:16:08] The greatest of all, the greatest of all gangster princes, you know, because you know what?

[1:16:12] He was a murderer.

[1:16:13] He was a thief.

[1:16:14] He, I think he dealt drugs, but he was doing it for the neighborhood.

[1:16:17] He always came back and showed the neighborhood that he had a lot of money and that made the neighborhood feel good.

[1:16:21] Yeah.

[1:16:22] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:22] So Brittany's like, okay, well, where's Joey?

[1:16:25] Again, John Gotti, not from New Jersey, but you know what I'm talking about.

[1:16:27] Okay.

[1:16:27] Yeah.

[1:16:28] And they're like, well, she's at the party that CDS is throwing for everybody who performed.

[1:16:33] So we go to that party.

[1:16:35] We get the Wiggies performing again.

[1:16:37] What a treat.

[1:16:39] And Alana confronts Brittany's dad and is like, hey, I should be a star.

[1:16:45] And he's like, okay.

[1:16:46] And then Brittany.

[1:16:47] You got Moxie, kid.

[1:16:48] I like you.

[1:16:48] Yeah.

[1:16:49] And then Brittany's, he's like, Brittany's dad's like, do you forgive me?

[1:16:53] Is there, I can get you anything you want.

[1:16:55] You know, I'm a zillionaire.

[1:16:57] And she's like, I want my mom back.

[1:16:59] And he's like, I can't.

[1:17:00] Wow.

[1:17:00] And that's the end of the movie.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:05] I can kill people.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:06] I can't bring them back.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:07] But then there's like a big musical performance.

[1:17:10] As soon as the first credit hit, I turned that shit off.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:12] Oh, so you also missed the part where I was like, there must be like some middle credit scene.

[1:17:17] And there's something, I can't remember what it was.

[1:17:19] But there's a part where like the Wiggy's mom, like they animate a frog crawling across her face as like, I guess, a jokey callback.

[1:17:26] But it feels so weird.

[1:17:28] It feels so like, it's like, did I see that?

[1:17:30] Did the character see that?

[1:17:31] Is that a symbol of her soul?

[1:17:34] It's very weird.

[1:17:35] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:37] Well, guys, have a standing ovation.

[1:17:39] I'm glad that you could take this journey with me.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:43] Danny, didn't you, you said like that, like you did the summary.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:46] Well, in that, you know, it's a movie that I saw on my own.

[1:17:51] And then I'm like, I got to get the guys in on this.

[1:17:53] Yeah.

[1:17:53] Introduce us to it.

[1:17:55] Yeah.

[1:17:55] Is this a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie or a movie we kind of like?

[1:18:00] That's our final judgment categories.

[1:18:02] I'm going to say that obviously, look, I brought it to the table.

[1:18:06] I told you last time that, you know, Surfer was the oddball choice.

[1:18:10] This was one that was going to be fun.

[1:18:12] Got to thank Alonzo.

[1:18:13] Real proud pleaser.

[1:18:14] Yes.

[1:18:15] Standing O.

[1:18:17] That was like when I, when I, when I picked this for my bad movie rotation based on Alonzo's

[1:18:24] endorsement, everyone in the chat was on board.

[1:18:29] They were loving it too.

[1:18:31] Picked you up on their shoulders.

[1:18:32] Yeah.

[1:18:33] Their virtual shoulders.

[1:18:34] So I got to say, yeah, it's a, it's a good, bad movie for sure for me.

[1:18:39] Stuart, what do you say?

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:40] Yeah.

[1:18:40] No question.

[1:18:41] This is a good, bad movie.

[1:18:43] It's ridiculous.

[1:18:44] And every moment of the movie feels weird and wrong, but also it like moves quickly.

[1:18:52] It's a lot of pep.

[1:18:53] And there's just a lot of stuff in it.

[1:18:55] I think I said it was chock full of stuff and I'm not, I'm not going to go back on that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:59] Guys.

[1:19:00] I don't want to, I don't want to shock anybody.

[1:19:01] This is obviously a good, bad movie.

[1:19:02] I'm going to go even farther and say, this is a movie I kind of like.

[1:19:05] It is a bad movie.

[1:19:06] It is not a good movie, but it's a movie I kind of, it's full of energy.

[1:19:09] It's always throwing stuff at you.

[1:19:11] The kids in it are good performers.

[1:19:13] Like the kids are like, I was really impressed by how good these kids are.

[1:19:16] And that goes a long way.

[1:19:18] And so there was, I was like, you know what?

[1:19:20] Would I choose to watch this movie again?

[1:19:23] No.

[1:19:24] But would I choose to watch this movie in normal life?

[1:19:25] No.

[1:19:26] But I enjoyed watching it.

[1:19:27] It's real dumb and silly.

[1:19:29] If my kids were like, we want to watch that standing ovation movie.

[1:19:31] I'd be like, throw it on.

[1:19:32] That's fine.

[1:19:33] So I get to call this a movie I kind of liked.

[1:19:36] Knowing that it is bad.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:37] They're like, dad, what's New Jersey like?

[1:19:38] You're like, put on standing ovation.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:40] Well, I'm going to show you standing ovation in Atlantic City from Louis Mall.

[1:19:43] And you'll get the idea between the two of them.

[1:19:45] But yeah, this is a good, bad movie.

[1:19:47] It's silly.

S4

[1:19:52] Hello, I'm John Luke Roberts and I host Sound Heap.

[1:19:55] And I'm here with Max Fun, member of the month, Ryan Adams.

[1:19:58] Thank you so much, Ryan, for being a listener and supporter of our show.

[1:20:01] And congratulations on being this month's member of the month.

[1:20:06] Hi there.

[1:20:06] If you were recommending Sound Heap to a new listener, how would you entice them to the show?

[1:20:11] I'm making notes on this, by the way.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:13] You have all sorts of podcasts on different topics and whatever out there.

[1:20:17] And you have a lot of fictional ones.

[1:20:18] It's a podcast, but it's not really a podcast.

[1:20:22] But it's, I'm not describing it very well.

S4

[1:20:24] No, you're describing it almost as well as anybody could.

[1:20:27] It's a podcast, but it's not really a podcast.

[1:20:28] But it's also an infinite number of podcasts.

[1:20:30] That's what I would, that's how I'd put it.

[1:20:32] What would you say to other people who are considering supporting the show?

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:35] If you like podcasts at all and you like humor, supporting Sound Heap is a good choice.

S4

[1:20:41] Is there anything else you'd like to add?

[1:20:43] Support Maximum Fun and Sound Heap.

[1:20:46] God, that's perfect.

[1:20:47] That's absolutely perfect.

Justin McElroy

[1:20:48] Support the shows you love, including this one.

[1:20:51] Check the show notes for a link or go to MaximumFun.org slash join.

[1:20:56] You know, we've been doing My Brother, My Brother, Me for 15 years.

[1:20:59] And maybe you stopped listening for a while.

[1:21:02] Maybe you never listen.

[1:21:03] And you're probably assuming three white guys talking for 15 years.

[1:21:07] I know where this has ended up.

[1:21:08] But no.

[1:21:10] No, you would be wrong.

[1:21:11] We're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing.

[1:21:19] Yeah.

[1:21:20] You don't even really know how crypto works.

[1:21:22] The only NFTs I'm into are naughty, funny things, which is what we talk about on My Brother, My Brother, and Me.

[1:21:28] We serve it up every Monday for you if you're listening.

[1:21:32] And if not, we just leave it out back.

[1:21:34] It goes rotten.

[1:21:35] So check it out on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:41] Let's take a moment to thank our sponsors.

[1:21:44] The Flophouse is sponsored in part this week by Factor.

[1:21:49] You know, it can be difficult always to feed oneself in this busy world, especially if you care about, you know, eating something healthy, not just getting takeout all the time.

[1:22:03] Or, I don't know, some frozen meal that maybe wouldn't be the best for you.

[1:22:08] Factor makes chef-crafted, dietician-designed, ready-to-eat meals so you don't have to choose between real food and what's convenient in the moment.

[1:22:20] They're ready in two minutes and require no prep and no cleanup.

[1:22:24] So on days when your schedule is like, I don't want to allow you enough time to feed yourself, you can be like, ha-ha, schedule.

[1:22:33] I outsmarted you.

[1:22:35] I've got some Factor.

[1:22:36] Each week, you'll find over 100 nutrient-dense menu items to choose from.

[1:22:41] You got new options like salmon burgers, shredded pork, collard greens, and more.

[1:22:46] And 97% of users agree that Factor meals have helped them live healthier so you can feel confident that you're doing something good for yourself with every meal.

[1:22:59] As I've said many times before, I enjoy cooking, unlike my friend and colleague, Elliot Kalin.

[1:23:06] I don't find it an onerous thing.

[1:23:10] I find it a soothing chore a lot of the time.

[1:23:15] But even soothing chores can be chores on the wrong day.

[1:23:20] And I have enjoyed having Factor meals around to just pop in, heat up, know that you're going to have something tasty and pretty good for you as your meal without all that work.

[1:23:35] So let's eat real.

[1:23:37] Head to factormeals.com slash flop50off and use code flop50off to get 50% off and one free breakfast item per box for one year while supplies last until 10, 31, 20, 26.

[1:23:53] That is code flop50off at factormeals.com.

[1:23:56] Flop50off at factormeals.com.

[1:23:59] See website for more details.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:01] Before we move on with the rest of the show, I just want our listeners to know, a word that rhymes with show, that we've got some of our own stuff coming up.

[1:24:10] In fact, some of it is happening right now.

[1:24:12] This episode, of course, was released the day after we were in Kentucky for our live show there.

[1:24:17] We had a great time.

[1:24:18] Thank you to the Louisville audience.

[1:24:20] If you couldn't make it to that show, or even if you could, you can still see us performing live.

[1:24:26] What?

[1:24:26] Through the Magic of Internet Video.

[1:24:29] Flop TV season four is currently happening.

[1:24:32] We've already had our first episode that was back on September 4th.

[1:24:35] We did Green Book because this year, the theme is Best Picture Winners.

[1:24:41] Our next episode will be on October 3rd at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[1:24:45] We're talking about the greatest show on earth, the circus movie that, according to the Fablemans, made Steven Spielberg a filmmaker as a child.

[1:24:52] We'll find out if that was the right inspiration or whether he should have packed his camera away and never made anything based on that movie.

[1:24:59] You want to see Flop TV?

[1:25:01] Well, you can.

[1:25:02] Just go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[1:25:04] I remind you again, Flop TV is our one-hour online video version of the Flop House.

[1:25:08] You get a presentation.

[1:25:10] You get a summary.

[1:25:11] We answer questions from the audience.

[1:25:12] It's like one of our live shows just happening on your computer screen.

[1:25:16] And if you can't make it when the show airs, which is the first Saturday of every month at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific, that's okay.

[1:25:22] Your ticket gets you access to the video, exclusive access to the video of that show.

[1:25:28] And those videos will be available for you to watch through the end of February when the season ends.

[1:25:32] The season is the first Saturday of every month through February.

[1:25:36] It's worst best picture winners, and I'm excited about what we're going to do with the greatest show on earth because it's long and Jimmy Stewart plays a clown in it.

[1:25:47] So go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com to get your tickets.

[1:25:51] You can buy individual episodes or you can buy a season pass, six episodes, for the price of five.

[1:25:56] That's what I would do if I were you.

[1:25:58] Theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[1:26:01] Flop TV taking on best picture winners.

[1:26:03] Watch this is the season that gets us banned from Hollywood after this.

[1:26:07] We're daring to go after the sacred cows of the best picture winners.

[1:26:11] So enjoy it, I guess, because we may disappear.

[1:26:15] It all goes up to our February episode where we will find out if Out of Africa is a real movie or not.

[1:26:21] Stay tuned.

[1:26:21] Question mark.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:22] Theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:25] I'll also mention that I have my regular plugs.

[1:26:27] My book, Joke Farming, How to Write Comedy, Other Nonsense is available now.

[1:26:30] The audiobook is available now.

[1:26:32] My comic series, Barbarian Behind Bars, which is a super violent B-movie of a miniseries.

[1:26:36] That is available in trade paperback right now.

[1:26:39] The collected edition should be on store shelves.

[1:26:41] And, of course, Harley Quinn from DC Comics.

[1:26:43] I continue to write each month.

[1:26:45] Buy that book.

[1:26:46] Somebody's got to.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:48] Before we move on to a few letters, I'm going to do a new segment I call Flophouse Cleanup,

[1:26:53] which is I'm going to address a few things from the past.

[1:26:57] Number one.

[1:26:58] Love it.

[1:26:58] You're cleaning up a lot of number one these days.

[1:27:00] We record these things, you know, fairly far in advance.

[1:27:05] And then, like, even if we don't, like, I forget to mention things that happened in previous episodes.

[1:27:12] So, it's been a while.

[1:27:13] But I feel great shame that in a previous episode, I referred to the Upper Peninsula of Minnesota.

[1:27:20] Clearly, obviously, I was talking about the Upper Peninsula of Michigan as the place where I used to vacation.

[1:27:26] I am aware that Minnesota doesn't.

[1:27:27] I lived in Minnesota for a period of time.

[1:27:30] That it doesn't have a peninsula?

[1:27:31] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:27:33] You know, I'm just, I'm aging.

[1:27:35] I'm on weird podcast autopilot.

[1:27:38] And sometimes I say wrong things.

[1:27:41] So, that's one of the things.

[1:27:43] We had several people write in in response to what is the movie where someone just keeps pulling teeth from their mouth.

[1:27:50] Oh, yeah.

[1:27:50] What is it?

[1:27:51] What is it?

[1:27:52] It's that one.

[1:27:53] I had it.

[1:27:54] And now, a guy pulling teeth from mouth.

[1:27:57] Leave the world behind.

[1:27:58] We talked about it.

[1:27:59] Yes.

[1:28:00] On the podcast.

[1:28:01] Yes, that's right.

[1:28:02] So, there's that.

[1:28:04] Thank you for clearing that up for us, that mystery.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:07] That's the one where he just keeps pulling his teeth out.

[1:28:09] Yeah, thank you.

[1:28:10] All I remember from that movie is the Tesla traffic jam that they have.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:14] Yes, yes.

[1:28:15] And a helpful listener responded to something I said in a newsletter.

[1:28:21] I was encouraging people to rate and review the show because it really does help, especially an older show like ours that maybe is not getting,

[1:28:29] the same attention.

[1:28:31] It helps the algorithm if like a bunch of people suddenly at the same time are like five stars, the flop outs.

[1:28:39] It really helps.

[1:28:40] So, if you're willing to do it, please do.

[1:28:41] But you can't do it the way I said, which was do it on iTunes, which because I'm an old person, I didn't think about the fact that…

[1:28:48] No, no, no.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:48] It's the podcast app.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:49] No such thing anymore.

[1:28:50] Go to the podcast app.

[1:28:51] Go to the Apple podcast app or whatever podcast app you have if it has a rating capability.

[1:28:56] Actually, if I can ask…

[1:28:57] And please leave us a good review.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:59] And also, I'm going to piggyback on that.

[1:29:00] I think joke farming almost has 50 reviews on Amazon.

[1:29:04] If three more people or four more people, however many it is, can give it positive reviews, then I think that will help me in that algorithm also.

[1:29:10] So, guys, look.

[1:29:12] We live in this shitty world where algorithms are controlling things.

[1:29:15] Help us hack the planet and use those algorithms to our own shitty needs.

[1:29:20] So, go to your local podcast app and give us some five-star reviews.

[1:29:24] Go to Amazon.com.

[1:29:25] Give joke farming like a five-star review.

[1:29:27] Why not?

[1:29:28] Yeah, why not?

[1:29:29] Yeah.

[1:29:30] I enjoyed it.

[1:29:30] It doesn't cost you nothing.

[1:29:32] No.

[1:29:32] Dan, did you leave a review on Amazon?

[1:29:34] I was just thinking I should.

[1:29:35] You should?

[1:29:35] Yeah, thank you.

[1:29:35] Yeah, you should do that.

[1:29:36] I tried to leave when there were no reviews left yet.

[1:29:38] I tried to leave a review saying, I think it's great, but I wrote the book and they wouldn't accept it.

[1:29:43] They said I wasn't allowed to.

Dan McCoy

[1:29:45] Well, at least you were forthright about your…

[1:29:48] I didn't use a fake name or anything.

[1:29:49] Yeah, you're…

[1:29:50] But let's move on from…

[1:29:53] Wait, do people do that?

[1:29:55] No.

[1:29:55] For online reviews?

[1:29:56] I hope not.

[1:29:57] They'll use fake names?

[1:29:58] I hope not.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:58] That would be beyond the pale.

[1:30:00] What the fuck?

Dan McCoy

[1:30:02] Yeah, we live in a fallen world.

[1:30:03] Let's move on to…

[1:30:05] Name two ways.

[1:30:07] Name two ways that this isn't a perfect world.

[1:30:09] Letters from listeners.

[1:30:12] All right, Candide.

[1:30:16] This first letter is from Katie.

[1:30:19] Last name withheld.

[1:30:20] 20?

[1:30:20] Right.

[1:30:21] Probably.

[1:30:22] More than 20 years ago, my friend got a job animating a movie starring Jon Voight.

[1:30:29] He told us that the working title was The Karate Dog.

[1:30:33] Oh, yeah, right.

[1:30:34] I thought that was the stupidest title I had ever heard and began to call it Fists of Furry.

[1:30:40] As you know, the movie was released under the stupid title.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:44] What movie would…

[1:30:45] Excuse me.

[1:30:46] It tells you what you get.

[1:30:48] Yeah.

[1:30:48] They're not trying to be clever.

[1:30:50] It's just like, here it is.

[1:30:51] Basic title.

[1:30:52] The basic title, let's say.

[1:30:53] The movie about Karate Dog.

[1:30:53] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:54] What movie would be better with a better title?

[1:30:56] Bonus points for what movie would be better with the title Shenanigans?

[1:31:02] Keep on flopping on.

[1:31:03] Katie.

[1:31:05] Well, I like about the title Shenanigans, and I apologize for this being sort of a non-answer.

[1:31:09] I mean, that's Banshee's Venisherin should have just been called Shenanigans.

[1:31:11] Yes, he should have been called Shenanigans, yeah.

[1:31:14] Or any bar.

[1:31:15] It could be called Shenanigans.

[1:31:16] But, like, I think that the great thing about the title Shenanigans is you can apply it to any movie, and it's kind of delightful.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:23] Not My Dinner with Andre.

[1:31:25] I feel like My Dinner with Andre you couldn't call Shenanigans.

Dan McCoy

[1:31:28] Well, you couldn't accurately call it Shenanigans, but I would enjoy…

[1:31:31] I mean, there's no law that you can't put that name on it.

[1:31:34] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:35] But, weirdly, the first movie that came to mind, which I think it's got a great title, it's a brilliant movie, it was Mulholland Drive.

[1:31:43] It was like, if Mulholland Drive was called Shenanigans, I'd be like, I love it.

[1:31:46] This is great.

[1:31:49] It's called Shenanigans.

Dan McCoy

[1:31:53] I don't know, David.

[1:31:54] It feels kind of nonspecific.

[1:31:56] Trust me.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:58] There's a lot of Shenanigans in it.

[1:32:05] I was going to call it Hijinx, but I think Shenanigans is better.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:11] More syllables.

[1:32:13] What else?

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:18] What if I called it Shenanigans?

[1:32:20] Because the main characters are both women.

[1:32:22] No, I don't think…

[1:32:23] I changed my mind, David.

[1:32:25] Go for it.

[1:32:25] Good job.

[1:32:27] What if every movie he was trying to name Shenanigans, they kept trying…

[1:32:30] No, I think let's call it The Elephant Man.

[1:32:31] I don't think we should call it Shenanigans.

[1:32:33] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:35] This might come off as insensitive, David.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:41] Because there's so many Shenanigans in this other movie.

[1:32:44] Paul Atreides.

[1:32:45] He's on Dune.

[1:32:46] One thing after another.

[1:32:47] Again, I think we should call it Dune because that's the name of the book that it's based on.

[1:32:50] Not Shenanigans.

[1:32:51] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:54] Oh, boy.

[1:32:55] I don't know.

[1:32:56] I mean, there's like a lot…

[1:32:57] There are so many movies that you hear about.

[1:33:00] They were like…

[1:33:02] They had an interesting title and they went with a generic title.

[1:33:05] I can't pull many of them right now.

[1:33:07] But like one that sticks in my mind is like…

[1:33:11] It Could Happen to You was originally called Cop Gives Waitress $20 Million Tip or something like that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:16] I mean, that's not even a title.

[1:33:18] That's crazy.

[1:33:18] Yeah.

[1:33:19] But yeah, It Could Happen to You is like nothing.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:22] It's like…

[1:33:23] That could go for almost any movie except for things that, you know, probably couldn't happen to you.

[1:33:28] There are a lot of things that couldn't happen to you.

[1:33:29] Like Star Wars probably shouldn't be called It Could Happen to You.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:31] No.

[1:33:32] I don't think so.

[1:33:33] Yeah, probably King Kong shouldn't be called It Could Happen to You.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:36] It could happen.

[1:33:37] No, Star Wars could not happen to you.

[1:33:39] It's not saying it will happen to you.

[1:33:40] No, no.

[1:33:41] Star Wars could not happen to you.

[1:33:43] But only because it's a long, long time ago.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:46] It doesn't matter why it can't happen to you.

[1:33:49] It just cannot happen.

[1:33:50] It could not happen to you.

[1:33:51] Yeah.

[1:33:52] Yeah.

[1:33:52] I'm willing to bet Jurassic Park could not happen to you.

[1:33:56] No, no.

[1:33:57] Let's check the science on it.

[1:33:58] Now, Jaws could be called It Could Happen to You.

[1:34:00] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:01] I remember there was like talk of like they wanted to rename Snakes on a Plane to something more generic.

[1:34:08] And they're like, no, this is the best thing we have going for us.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:11] Well, that was the thing.

[1:34:12] I think it came out online.

[1:34:13] They were going to change the title.

[1:34:14] And online people were like, no, no, no.

[1:34:17] And famously, we talked about it before, that Edge of Tomorrow movie with Tom Cruise was originally what Live, Die, Repeat or something like that, which is a better title.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:25] All You Need is Kill.

[1:34:27] Live, Die, Repeat is what they eventually called it based on that was the title tagline.

[1:34:32] That was the tagline.

[1:34:33] And then they're like, oh, maybe we should call it that.

[1:34:36] Yeah.

[1:34:37] All You Need is Kill is not a title.

[1:34:38] Because Edge of Tomorrow is, that's a bad name.

[1:34:40] I mean, I would argue that all three of those titles are not very good.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:43] I think Live, Die, Repeat is good because it tells you what happens.

[1:34:46] Like, you come back and die, you know.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:48] The best one as far as I'm concerned.

[1:34:49] That's the best of them.

[1:34:49] And what would you call it, Dan?

[1:34:51] Yeah.

[1:34:53] I Died Again.

[1:34:54] Tom Cruise Killed a Lot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:56] No, again, that's not really a title.

[1:34:57] That's kind of a description of what's going on in it.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:59] Yeah.

[1:34:59] And that's the name of the actor.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:02] Yeah, he's not playing himself.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:04] That's an uncommon naming invention.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:06] You wouldn't call it, like, Castaway is a good title for that movie.

[1:35:08] You wouldn't call it Tom Hanks on an Island.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:11] Yeah, you're right.

[1:35:13] I wouldn't call it that, I guess.

[1:35:15] Yeah.

[1:35:16] I might call it Untitled Tom Hanks on an Island Project.

[1:35:20] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:20] Again, Untitled implies that there is going to be a different title.

[1:35:23] Yeah, yeah.

[1:35:25] Anyway.

[1:35:25] You wouldn't release a movie as Haley Joel Osment is a robot.

[1:35:28] Like, that's not a title you would give a movie.

[1:35:29] I don't know.

[1:35:30] Wouldn't I?

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:32] Wait, you might.

[1:35:33] It could happen to you, Dan.

[1:35:34] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:34] I thought I could see dead people.

[1:35:36] I didn't know he was a robot.

[1:35:37] That's the same movie.

[1:35:38] He's a robot.

[1:35:38] That's the twist that.

[1:35:39] There were two twists originally in that movie.

[1:35:41] That's exactly the one he was talking about.

[1:35:41] Yeah.

[1:35:42] There were two twists in that movie.

[1:35:44] The first was that Bruce Willis is dead, and the second was that he's a robot the whole time.

[1:35:47] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:48] And they were like, M. Night, that's too many twists.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:51] I hope that answered your question.

[1:35:53] Let's move on.

[1:35:54] Certainly it didn't.

[1:35:56] Grayson, last name withheld, writes,

[1:35:57] Hello.

[1:35:59] In your episode on 40 Days and 40 Nights,

[1:36:02] Elliot goes on an extended bit about an imaginary comedy,

[1:36:06] sequence where Josh Hartnett waits for a bus while dealing with a comically large boner.

[1:36:11] Good.

[1:36:12] Did I have no memory of any of our episodes?

[1:36:15] Good news.

[1:36:16] There's a scene almost exactly like that in the 80s breakdancing sex comedy Delivery Boys,

[1:36:21] where a character undergoes a medical experiment that gives him a raging boner,

[1:36:26] and he flees onto a public bus where hijinks ensued.

[1:36:29] Sounds like this should have been called shenanigans.

[1:36:31] Yeah, that does sound like shenanigans.

[1:36:32] Delivery Boys for My Money is one of the worst movies ever made.

[1:36:35] This made me wonder, as people who work in the entertainment industry,

[1:36:39] have you ever had what you thought was a very unique idea only to discover it already existed?

[1:36:45] Keep up the good work, fellas.

[1:36:47] Grayson, last name withheld.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:49] That is exactly what it is to be a creative professional in the entertainment industry.

[1:36:53] You are constantly coming up with ideas, developing them, prepping them,

[1:36:57] and then finding out that someone has already sold it and is doing it.

[1:37:00] Or it already happened on a TV show two years ago that you didn't know about.

[1:37:04] This has happened to me numerous times.

[1:37:05] Or you'll pitch an idea, and people, you'll pitch it, and they'll be like,

[1:37:08] the executives will be like, I don't even understand this idea.

[1:37:11] Like, I don't know how to visualize it.

[1:37:12] And then a show will come out that is just like that idea.

[1:37:15] And you're like, well, somebody got through.

[1:37:17] Someone was able to do it.

[1:37:18] But this happened, the funniest version of this that happened to me was,

[1:37:21] I woke up one morning when I was still working at The Daily Show.

[1:37:23] I was getting ready for work.

[1:37:24] And I started coming up with an idea, and I was like, you know what?

[1:37:27] They do all these shows and movies about when aliens invade,

[1:37:30] but they don't do one about, like, after the alien invasion is over

[1:37:33] and, like, dealing with living under an alien government or whatever.

[1:37:38] And I started coming up with an idea in my head.

[1:37:41] I was like, this is what the aliens could be like and the thing.

[1:37:43] And I'm going to call it Colony.

[1:37:44] And then I walked into the subway station, and there was a big ad for Colony,

[1:37:47] a TV show about what happens after aliens take over.

[1:37:50] And I was like, shit.

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:51] Like, this is great.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:52] Like, they stole the idea from me this morning from my head

[1:37:55] and then put it into production already.

[1:37:57] Like, I was like, well, I only wasted one morning on this at least.

Dan McCoy

[1:38:01] Well, what this made me think of was, like, years ago,

[1:38:05] before I even, like, wrote at The Daily Show,

[1:38:09] so I have no idea who I thought would care about this anyway,

[1:38:12] like, who was going to buy the script.

[1:38:14] But, like, I was going to write a comedy screenplay.

[1:38:18] I had an idea about, like, someone who had an office space,

[1:38:22] that they, like, used for, like, basically people who had lost their jobs

[1:38:30] or were unemployed could go there and fake having a job to, like,

[1:38:36] if they needed to impress someone, if they needed to, like,

[1:38:39] their parents off their back, et cetera, et cetera.

[1:38:41] Not, like, the greatest idea, but I had, like, worked out, like,

[1:38:45] things about it that I thought could work and could be funny.

[1:38:48] And then that movie Accepted came out where it was like,

[1:38:51] oh, like, we have this community, abandoned community college

[1:38:55] where we're going to pretend that you got accepted if you got rejected

[1:38:58] to other schools.

[1:38:59] And I'm like, well, that premise, like, number one,

[1:39:01] it makes a little more sense than mine anyway, and it's very close.

[1:39:04] So I didn't do any work on it.

[1:39:06] Like, years later, Elliot was like, you should have written it.

[1:39:09] No one remembers Accepted.

[1:39:11] And Elliot, now I'm taking your advice because I had,

[1:39:17] can I tell you, the next idea I had for a script,

[1:39:21] the basic setup of it, I'm not going to say what movie,

[1:39:25] but, like, it is similar to a movie that I saw is, like,

[1:39:31] new on streaming recently.

[1:39:35] But I can, I looked at this movie and I'm like,

[1:39:38] no one's going to remember this movie exists.

[1:39:41] I'm just going to try and write my thing.

[1:39:43] It's going to be different anyway.

[1:39:44] Like, the basic setup is not going to be so important to it.

[1:39:47] Well, and how many times have you seen a movie and you've been like,

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:49] oh, I've seen, they've made, they've done this story before.

[1:39:51] Like, I've seen this story before.

[1:39:52] It happens all the time.

[1:39:53] So, yeah, you should, you should just do it.

[1:39:55] You'll find the thing about it that makes it unique in and of itself.

[1:39:58] And it still won't get made because nothing gets made these days.

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:00] You'll see a movie and be like,

[1:40:01] Jason Statham already foiled a mutiny on a boat before.

[1:40:05] Apparently not.

[1:40:06] No.

[1:40:07] First time.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:08] Yeah.

[1:40:09] I thought, it turned out that was Tom Hanks and Captain Phillips.

Dan McCoy

[1:40:12] Can I tell you about that movie, what is wild to me?

[1:40:14] So, like.

[1:40:15] Mutiny or Captain Phillips, or both?

[1:40:17] Mutiny.

[1:40:17] Oh.

[1:40:18] That is from the director of Plane, right?

[1:40:20] Yeah.

[1:40:21] And there was going to.

[1:40:21] He does vehicle-based action.

[1:40:22] There was going to be a Plane sequel called Boat.

[1:40:27] And that movie, like a direct sequel, Gerard Butler, called Boat.

[1:40:32] That movie did not happen.

[1:40:35] This same director is making a boat movie with Statham called Mutiny.

[1:40:40] It blew my mind to find out that this was not just boat repurposed.

[1:40:44] That this was actually a separate script.

[1:40:45] Completely different boat.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:47] My guess is there was another script and he goes, yeah, well, I was already prepping for a boat action movie.

[1:40:50] Yeah.

[1:40:51] I guarantee you there's at least one action scene in it that was supposed to be for boat.

[1:40:55] And it's now in this one.

[1:40:56] But it could be that he was like, I'm already in the market for a boat.

[1:40:59] It might have been that boat fell apart and some rep was like, well, you've got a script that's an action movie set on a boat.

[1:41:05] He was just about to make one.

[1:41:06] This guy's a boat boy.

[1:41:07] Get this dude.

[1:41:08] Get into this boat boy.

[1:41:09] Yeah, exactly.

[1:41:09] This B-boy.

[1:41:10] B stands for boat.

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:11] What's Gerard Butler doing?

[1:41:13] Why can't he make boat?

[1:41:14] I don't know.

[1:41:15] He leaves three.

[1:41:16] Yeah.

[1:41:17] Greenland two.

Dan McCoy

[1:41:19] Oh, yeah.

[1:41:19] Those are big, right?

[1:41:21] Greenlands.

[1:41:22] I mean, there is a Greenland two, which I hear is nutty.

[1:41:25] I hear that the first one, I mean, I saw the first one.

[1:41:27] I didn't love it.

[1:41:28] Is it about the country?

[1:41:33] Well, in Greenland, the first one, they were fleeing to Greenland because of some apocalyptic event that I've already forgotten.

[1:41:41] Okay.

[1:41:42] I assume that in Greenland two, they are in Greenland.

[1:41:46] Still in Greenland.

[1:41:47] Okay.

[1:41:47] Cool.

[1:41:48] Okay.

[1:41:49] Anyway, they're like, Greenland's in the news so much.

[1:41:52] We got to, we got to.

[1:41:54] Anywho.

[1:41:55] What do we do next, Stuart?

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:58] Usually we talk about movies we liked.

[1:42:00] Oh, right.

[1:42:00] Could be Greenland two if you want.

[1:42:02] Could be Greenland two.

[1:42:02] Could be Mutiny if you saw it and you liked it.

[1:42:04] Yeah.

[1:42:04] I didn't, although there was that snafu, right, where Amazon accidentally released it the week it's supposed to go into theaters.

[1:42:11] Oh, I didn't know about that.

[1:42:12] Yeah.

[1:42:12] I'm sure it got taken down.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:13] I think more of that kind of thing will happen.

[1:42:15] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:42:17] Let me look.

[1:42:18] What did I see lately that I enjoyed?

[1:42:22] Didn't you go to that porno?

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:24] I did.

[1:42:24] Yeah, Dan.

[1:42:25] What kind of porno have you been digesting lately?

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:27] No, but he went to a movie theater and watched one.

Dan McCoy

[1:42:30] Yeah, this is a real thing.

[1:42:32] But Nighthawk Williamsburg has a series called Skin Deep where they had been showing or still are showing artistically significant porn films.

[1:42:44] And Elliot has a dubious look of it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:47] I will say there is a, as someone who's interested in all kinds of movies, I have an interest in the, like, the way that the porn industry functioned as an industry and as a place for filmmakers and performers.

[1:43:00] But there's a certain point, I have to apologize to filmmakers, there's a certain point where the idea of, like, everything is art and can be appreciated as art where I'm like, I don't know.

[1:43:08] For me, it might stop when it gets to hardcore porn.

[1:43:11] I don't know.

[1:43:11] There's that brief period, that brief period when they were being more ambitious, you know.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:15] Well, I mean, like, certainly hardcore pornography now.

[1:43:17] I, like, the movies that we saw.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:21] I feel like we're dangerous.

[1:43:23] This is me being an old man and a snob.

[1:43:24] I worry about a world where it's like, well, the Museum of Modern Art just accepted the Brazzers archive into their film collection.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:31] But this was definitely of that period where it was people trying to make a real movie.

[1:43:37] Uh-huh.

[1:43:38] And then sometimes there would be hardcore sex.

[1:43:41] And I, uh, I, you know, I've been kind of curious about this screening series.

[1:43:46] And then a friend of mine was like, I hear that this next one is supposed to be really nutty.

[1:43:51] And, like, so I'm like, okay, I'll get tickets.

[1:43:53] You're getting tickets.

[1:43:54] I'll get tickets.

[1:43:54] I'll see it.

[1:43:55] And let me say that, um, first off, I have never previously seen a, uh, a feature hardcore film in a movie theater with people.

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:08] Did it make it more difficult?

Dan McCoy

[1:44:12] I will.

[1:44:13] I mean, like, the trailers beforehand were also for, like, hardcore porn.

[1:44:17] And, like, it was, and the lights were, like, part, part way up.

[1:44:21] And that made it all the worse.

[1:44:22] I'm like, I thought I was, like, reading my Kindle while, because I'm like, I don't feel comfortable with the lights being, like, part way up.

[1:44:29] Those are snake orders.

[1:44:30] And people, like, ejaculating on screen.

[1:44:32] Um, but also I will say that I don't.

[1:44:34] You knew what you're getting into.

[1:44:35] I don't think that a 20-foot tall screen is the best way to feature genitals.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:40] Like, it did.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:42] But this movie was wild.

[1:44:44] It was called A Woman's Torment.

[1:44:45] And it was, like, basically a repulsion set on Fire Island, uh, but with, like, pornography stuck in.

[1:44:52] And, like, you talk about, you know, like, the artistic ambitions of this.

[1:44:57] This clearly was someone who wanted to make their movie, but then, like, Trojan horsed it in through, like, pornography.

[1:45:05] Okay, that's different.

[1:45:06] And I will say, and I will say.

[1:45:07] Because, like, it was so un-erotic that I'm like, there's no way they thought this would be.

[1:45:13] Because that's the thing.

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:14] What I said before about that, about hardcore pornography, I don't apply that to erotica.

[1:45:18] Like, there is beautiful and artistic erotica.

[1:45:21] Like, there is erotic art.

[1:45:22] But, I don't know.

[1:45:24] There's the, uh, at a certain point, I become a cranky old man.

[1:45:27] But, Dan, so would you recommend it or not recommend it?

[1:45:30] Because it sounds like you did not have a great experience.

Dan McCoy

[1:45:32] I mean, it was interesting.

[1:45:34] It was interesting.

[1:45:34] It was interesting as, like, trying to puzzle out, like, did they think this could possibly be sexy?

[1:45:42] This is all so upsetting, everything that's happening in this movie.

[1:45:46] I don't, I don't know.

[1:45:47] But, um, no, I'm not going to recommend that.

[1:45:50] But it was, you know, thanks for, it was an interesting cul-de-sac.

[1:45:53] I don't know.

[1:45:54] Let's talk about what I do recommend, which is, uh, you know, a lot of movies that, uh, get dumped to, like, something like Hulu are of varying quality, depending.

[1:46:03] Like, there's some great stuff that shows up there, and, like, there's a lot of filler.

[1:46:07] But, uh, one that I saw recently that I enjoyed was called Redux Redux.

[1:46:13] It is, uh, you know, sort of a low-budget sci-fi thriller that, uh, uses the overused multiverse idea mostly just to sort of, uh, tell a sort of stripped-down tale of, uh, this woman whose child had been killed.

[1:46:32] And her universe, uh, is, like, going through, like, uh, trauma, like a breakdown, basically by going to all of these other universes where her child is not alive, but she can't, she can kill the person who, uh, killed them.

[1:46:48] Um, and then, uh, she gets involved with another, uh, uh, teen girl that she rescues from the same killer.

[1:46:56] And it's just, like, it's a good, uh, movie to look at in terms of, um, how much you can do to make a sci-fi thriller without a big budget, without, like, a lot of effects.

[1:47:10] It is sort of just all carried on the weight of, um, the premise and the way they iterate on the premise and the good performance, uh, particularly from the lead, uh, woman, the mom, who is, uh, taking her revenge.

[1:47:28] Uh, I'm not making, like, huge, um, uh, claims for it, but I think that the filmmakers behind this, uh, did a, did a great job with it.

[1:47:38] And I'm curious to see what they'll do in the future.

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:40] Yeah, similarly, I'm going to recommend a recent horror movie called Leviticus, um, which is an Australian horror movie, uh, about a, uh, couple of young guys who are, uh, part of a kind of a tight religious community.

[1:47:59] Um, and, uh, make them undergo some extreme, uh, conversion therapy as a way to deal with their urges.

[1:48:09] And this involves the summoning of a, uh, shape-shifting invisible entity.

[1:48:16] And it's, you know, I feel like it's, uh, some easy shorthand is to say that it's, like, it follows, but for the, uh, queer community.

[1:48:27] Um, and I think a lot of the, uh, I think it's, I think it has some really good scares and there's some really good sequences.

[1:48:35] Um, it does feel a bit like a short that got stretched a little bit.

[1:48:39] I've, maybe it could have used a little more, like, maybe one big set piece or something else.

[1:48:44] Um, but I think a lot of the, uh, the metaphor maps really well, probably even better than it follows.

[1:48:51] Um, and, uh, so I think there's some really good stuff there and, uh, it's got some good scares.

[1:48:57] So check it out.

[1:48:58] Leviticus.

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:59] Uh, I am going to recommend a, uh, a movie.

[1:49:05] This, what this movie not really reminded me of exactly.

[1:49:08] But, uh, the, I, seeing a movie, I haven't seen a lot of new movies lately.

[1:49:12] So I'm digging back into older movies that I've seen.

[1:49:14] And, uh, thinking about the movie we saw today, which is about, like, a teen dance contest, basically.

[1:49:20] It made me want to go back and rewatch the movie Smile, directed by Michael Ritchie and written by Jerry Belson.

[1:49:24] Which is a kind of satire and kind of just kind of a straightforward comedy movie about a, uh, teen beauty pageant.

[1:49:31] And all the kind of, like, corrupt and cynical and kind of, like, damaging things that go on around a teen beauty pageant.

[1:49:38] But there's still a sort of, like, half innocence to it.

[1:49:42] Like, the movie wants the characters to end up well, even as they're being not great, uh, around this, this pageant.

[1:49:49] Uh, and there's some funny stuff in it.

[1:49:50] And there's at least one, a very genuinely sweet moment in it.

[1:49:54] Uh, and so I'm going to recommend that.

[1:49:55] It's called Smile.

[1:49:56] You might find it listed with quotes around the title.

[1:50:00] Sometimes it has quotes around the title and sometimes it doesn't.

[1:50:03] And I'm not sure why exactly.

Dan McCoy

[1:50:05] Yeah.

[1:50:05] Who's it quoting?

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:07] But if, but if, but after, after you've seen Standing Ovation with your kids, put them to bed and then you watch Smile, which is a movie for grownups.

[1:50:12] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:50:13] Um, well, that's another, uh, small temper over.

[1:50:18] Uh, but don't, don't fret, listeners.

[1:50:21] That icy chill you feel on the back of your spine means that Shocktober is just around the corner.

[1:50:27] Whoa.

[1:50:27] Uh-oh.

[1:50:28] Um.

[1:50:29] You got, you got a tease?

Stuart Wellington

[1:50:30] You got some teases for us?

Dan McCoy

[1:50:31] Uh, well, I keep asking you, Stuart, whether you were cool with the three movies that I suggested for Shocktober.

[1:50:38] Yeah, let's do them.

[1:50:38] Okay.

[1:50:39] We got it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:40] We're going to be doing a couple, we're going to be doing a couple sequels this Shocktober.

Stuart Wellington

[1:50:44] Or in this case, Freakwels.

[1:50:46] Whoa.

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:47] There you go.

[1:50:47] Freakwels, some might say.

[1:50:49] Uh, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:50:50] Some might say that.

[1:50:52] I mean, you did.

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:53] But this is a, because this is one of those planetary conjunctions where we get three Shocktober

[1:50:57] episodes, right?

Dan McCoy

[1:50:58] There's three episodes in this October.

[1:51:00] That conjunction, uh, luckily has come at a time when there are a plethora of horror movies, uh, because it's, you know, one of the few things that still seems to get people into theaters.

Elliott Kalan

[1:51:10] So, as it does, as it happens every 10 years or so, Hollywood remembers that horror is a surefire way to make money if you do it right.

[1:51:19] Yeah.

[1:51:19] Every 10 years, they're like, hey, horror's real big with audiences.

[1:51:23] They're like, we should do more horror movies.

[1:51:24] It's like, just keep making horror movies.

[1:51:26] Yeah.

[1:51:26] Just keep making them.

[1:51:27] They're always, they always do well.

Stuart Wellington

[1:51:28] Always.

[1:51:28] Yeah.

[1:51:29] And part of it is, I feel like horror fans are similar to like heavy metal fans and that they're committed.

[1:51:34] They will go see your shit.

[1:51:36] They want to see it all.

[1:51:37] Yeah.

[1:51:38] Even if they don't like it.

[1:51:39] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:51:40] They want it all.

[1:51:43] And they want it now.

[1:51:44] Nice.

Dan McCoy

[1:51:45] Well, that's been, uh, established or teased or whatever now.

[1:51:49] Uh, so we can.

[1:51:51] That October is coming.

[1:51:52] Yeah.

[1:51:54] Watch out.

[1:51:56] Leaves are rustling.

[1:51:57] I don't want you to be shocked when you, uh, flip over your calendar.

[1:52:01] Ooh, the scary month.

[1:52:02] No.

[1:52:03] I'm letting you know October's coming.

[1:52:05] Um, I'm also letting you know that we're part of the Maximum Fun Network.

[1:52:09] Go to MaximumFun.org.

[1:52:11] Check out other shows on the network.

[1:52:14] I'm sure you'll find at least one you also enjoy.

[1:52:17] So why not take a chance?

[1:52:20] Also, thank you to Alex Smith.

[1:52:22] He goes by the name Howell Dottie when he's doing, uh, music.

[1:52:27] He's doing funny stuff.

[1:52:28] All sorts of creative work on the internet.

[1:52:31] Check him out.

[1:52:32] Uh, thank you, Alex.

[1:52:33] For the Flophouse, I have been Dan McCoy.

[1:52:36] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:37] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:52:39] Somewhat chastened.

[1:52:40] Less cocky than I was at the beginning of the episode.

[1:52:42] Huh?

Dan McCoy

[1:52:50] Good news, guys.

[1:52:51] We're talking about standing ovation.

[1:52:53] That is good news.

[1:52:54] Oh.

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:55] Not as good a news as that the Lord died for our sins.

[1:52:59] I guess that's pretty good news.

[1:53:00] Eternal life.

[1:53:01] I didn't like that guy that much.

Dan McCoy

[1:53:02] I don't think, uh, John Krasinski would put it on his show, though.

Stuart Wellington

[1:53:06] No, that's not that kind of good news, no.

[1:53:08] I mean, he sold the rights, man.

[1:53:09] He doesn't get to make creative decisions.

[1:53:11] He sold the rights to the Bible?

[1:53:13] Yep.

Dan McCoy

[1:53:14] He had them.

[1:53:15] That was foolish of him.

[1:53:17] Why'd he do that?

[1:53:19] Why'd he do that?

[1:53:19] Mucho dinero.

[1:53:21] Yeah, originally, originally they were owned by, uh, they were originally owned by Steve

Stuart Wellington

[1:53:25] Gutenberg.

[1:53:26] Yeah.

[1:53:27] Famous Gutenberg Bible.

Elliott Kalan

[1:53:28] Yeah, he foolishly squandered that money, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:53:31] Uh, okay.

[1:53:32] I think we're, as warm as we're ever gonna be.

[1:53:35] I think we're pretty warm.

[1:53:35] That's pretty warm.

[1:53:36] We get a warmer.

[1:53:37] As warm as we're gonna have to turn on a second AC.

[1:53:40] Yeah.

[1:53:40] Okay.

[1:53:41] Let's, uh.

Elliott Kalan

[1:53:42] You know who's not getting warm?

[1:53:43] AOC.

[1:53:43] As in her eggs.

[1:53:44] She froze them.

[1:53:46] Oh, yeah.

[1:53:47] Topical.

[1:53:47] News.

[1:53:49] News you can't use.

[1:53:51] There's nothing to do with that news.

[1:53:54] Maximum Fun.

[1:53:55] A worker-owned network.

Dan McCoy

[1:53:56] Of artist-owned shows.

[1:53:58] Supported.

[1:53:59] Directly.

[1:54:00] By you.

Standing Ovation

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