Ep. #366 - Deep Water

[0:00] On this episode we discuss deep water, a perfect example of why rich people should have jobs.

[0:31] Hey everyone and welcome to The Flophouse. I am Dan McCoy.

[0:39] Thanks for saying that, Dan. I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:42] I appreciate both of you laying the groundwork for my entrance as Elliot Kalin, starring as himself in the role of Elliot Kalin.

[0:51] Now if you're tuning in, this is a podcast. Can you help me with this next part?

[0:57] Yep, and what do we do on this podcast, Dan?

[0:58] Well, we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[1:01] And I want to address over the years the definition of a bad movie.

[1:06] Let's just say we wear the mantle lightly.

[1:10] We should just change it. We should officially change it to we watch a movie and then we talk about it.

[1:14] You know what? I'm going to submit that motion.

[1:17] Guys, I'm proposing a motion. This is what we would normally do at our weekly parliamentary meetings at Flophouse Business.

[1:23] I'd like to introduce some new business.

[1:25] I'd like to introduce that we officially change the motto from we watch a bad movie and we talk about it to we watch a movie and we talk about it.

[1:32] I'm looking for a second. Who would like to second that motion?

[1:34] I'll second it.

[1:36] Okay, so second it. That goes to a vote. All in favor say aye. Aye.

[1:41] I just think it confuses me.

[1:43] Okay, Stuart. I was worried you were just putting me out there just to flap in the wind.

[1:46] Okay, Stuart. I'll oppose say nay.

[1:49] This really took me by surprise. I guess I'm not going to oppose it.

[1:52] I think it does.

[1:53] So that's two in favor, no against. Motion passed.

[1:56] I have to say power from Dan is in the middle of the episode.

[2:00] Look, I personally think that not saying anything about bad movies kind of muddies the premise a bit.

[2:08] Dan, debate was opened and closed. You had your chance to vote against the motion and you decided to abdicate your responsibility.

[2:17] The whole point – this is just prelude to say that sometimes we watch a movie that got middling reviews that we're kind of interested in.

[2:26] We're like, oh, we're curious about that. Let's see it.

[2:29] It's interesting, Dan, that you used the term muddied because the movie we watched is called Deep Water, a thing that can sometimes be muddy.

[2:34] As it is later in the movie, yeah.

[2:37] Deep Muddy Water.

[2:39] Deep Muddy Water is the blues musician.

[2:42] His book of poetry.

[2:44] So, Dan, you did all the research and background on this movie.

[2:47] It was directed by Adrian Lin, correct?

[2:50] A man known for – a boy known for making bangers.

[2:53] Want to list some of the credits?

[2:55] Former Academy Award nominee for Fatal Attraction for directing.

[2:58] He made Nine and a Half Weeks.

[3:00] He made Indecent Proposal.

[3:02] He made Flashdance, right?

[3:04] Jacob's Ladder.

[3:06] He was a real major director of the 80s and early 90s.

[3:09] His last movie was like 20 years ago, right?

[3:11] Yeah, this is his first movie in 20 years after Unfaithful.

[3:14] Unfaithful, a certified grade A hot movie.

[3:18] Yeah, it was like a minor hit.

[3:20] I mean like in so much as any movie of that nature can be one these days.

[3:25] You mean of a sexual nature?

[3:27] Well, I mean just like adult dramas, let's call them.

[3:31] So Adrian Lin is known for making steamy movies.

[3:35] That's why they call him Steamy Lin and that's what he's known as if you ever meet him.

[3:38] Like the same way Charles Schultz was known as Sparky, Adrian Lin is known as Steamy.

[3:43] And they used to hang out together as Sparky and Steamy, a jazz combo.

[3:47] Okay, well this is all important background.

[3:50] Yeah, so Charles Schultz would play the marimbas and Adrian Lin would play the vibraphone.

[3:56] Classic steamer.

[3:58] As long as we're kind of going in the background.

[4:00] So this was a movie that was originally going to have a theatrical release.

[4:04] It got delayed a bit and then it finally got dumped to Hulu.

[4:08] It's funny to me that the – I read a couple of articles like on this to see sort of what the process was, why this happened this way.

[4:18] And in more than one –

[4:20] I think once they saw the movie, they said we can't release this in theaters.

[4:23] It's certainly been way worse.

[4:25] And you said –

[4:27] Yeah, Morbius comes out.

[4:29] So when you say dumped to Hulu as if Hulu isn't arguably the best movie-based streaming service.

[4:37] Yes, I still think that to – this movie escaped the streaming trap in that it did get a fair amount of talk around it.

[4:46] But I feel like –

[4:48] Which is usually what doesn't happen.

[4:50] Yes, I feel like dumped to streaming only in so much as movies get released on streaming by the crateful every week and so many of them just get lost.

[5:00] I think Netflix released 4,000 movies this weekend.

[5:03] Yeah.

[5:04] And many of them are science fiction action movies that normally would have gotten the theatrical release.

[5:09] Now they're just getting dumped.

[5:11] Let me quickly circle around to the point though.

[5:13] In more than one article, they were like, oh, the studio looked at the failure of other adult programming like West Side Story and was like, I think we should put this on streaming.

[5:25] And it's a real sign of our times that went unnoticed by me at first.

[5:34] I'm like, oh, yeah, that makes sense.

[5:36] And then I'm like, what world do we live in where adult-themed movies, meaning non-franchise films, are so rare that we can put West Side Story and Deep Water under the same umbrella?

[5:50] And initially I'm like, yeah, yeah, sure, of course.

[5:53] The failure of West Side Story makes sense.

[5:55] Anyway, that was the point.

[5:57] That was the point.

[5:59] Yeah, I mean it's a good point that we do live in this strange theatrical dystopia where only movies that are appealed to…

[6:06] All quadrants.

[6:08] All quadrants, AKA teenagers.

[6:10] Only movies that appeal to teenage dudes are basically like that's the test.

[6:16] And I don't think – I think if you went to see Deep Water in the theaters, you would have been like, that was not a movie I should have seen in a movie theater.

[6:22] That was – there's not a lot of movies.

[6:23] That was a movie I should have rented and watched late at night at home.

[6:27] Exactly.

[6:29] I should have gone to my friend Tracy Letts' personal screening room and watched it with Tracy Letts and his beautiful wife, Carrie Coon.

[6:34] I do love that this is now the second in an unofficial Tracy Letts month, basically after Ghostbusters Afterlife, that Tracy Letts is now the superstar of the flop house.

[6:44] Oh, if only Tracy Letts brought the same energy to Ghostbusters Afterlife that he brings to this movie.

[6:50] Tracy Letts, he does have my favorite scene in the movie.

[6:53] This movie takes a hard right turn into farce at the end of it.

[6:56] He has two really great scenes, one of which takes place over a dinner table and involves yelling at Goldie quite a bit.

[7:03] And the other one involves him awkwardly running.

[7:06] One takes place over the dinner table where he and his family are eating in their backyard cemetery somehow.

[7:11] And the other one is – we'll get to it.

[7:15] There's also a scene where he gets showed snails.

[7:17] Let's not forget that one.

[7:19] This movie – I'm going to warn the audience ahead of time.

[7:23] This movie is going to sound more bonkers than it is when we go through the plot because there are a few bonkers moments in it.

[7:30] And there are a few moments where I was like, movie, you should have run with this.

[7:33] Like the first time Ben Affleck goes down to his snail basement and goes into a fugue state watching snails have sex.

[7:39] That's what the movie should have followed.

[7:41] The movie should have followed that path.

[7:43] Instead it keeps coming up for air for too long to keep the deep water metaphor going.

[7:46] Okay.

[7:48] Wait.

[7:50] This movie is – I didn't find out until the credits rolled that this movie is based on a Patricia Highsmith novel.

[7:55] And when we get to the end, maybe we'll talk about how the novel ends very differently than the movie.

[7:59] And it makes it a very different story.

[8:02] And I think changing the ending may have thrown a lot of the buildup to it out of whack, out of proportion.

[8:09] But we'll see. We'll get to that if I remember, which I might not.

[8:12] So the movie opens with Vic Van Allen, played by Ben Affleck, riding his bike around Little Wesley, Louisiana.

[8:21] And he gets home and takes his shoes off.

[8:25] And we realize he was doing this whole bike ride without socks on.

[8:28] Madness.

[8:30] And then he strips his clothes.

[8:32] That's why they call him Blisters Van Allen.

[8:34] He strips his clothes off on the porch while his wife, Melinda, played by Anna DeArmas, watches.

[8:39] And then she goes off to her separate bedroom.

[8:43] There seems to be trouble in paradise.

[8:46] They also have a daughter named Trixie.

[8:48] That's about it.

[8:50] The daughter Trixie seems to exist and not exist when the movie needs her to not exist.

[8:55] That's the perfect child.

[8:57] During one of the many party scenes, you see that Trixie is with them at the party.

[9:01] And then they're driving home in a car that has no Trixie in the back seat.

[9:04] And they start doing sexual things.

[9:05] And my wife and I are watching.

[9:07] And all we could say was, where's your daughter?

[9:09] What's going on?

[9:11] She's hanging out with Tracy Letts overnight.

[9:14] Trixie and Tracy.

[9:16] They were a jazz combo, Trixie and Tracy.

[9:18] Trixie would play the marimbas.

[9:20] And Tracy Letts would play the vibraphone.

[9:22] But Anna DeArmas, I do want to say, I really liked her in, what was it?

[9:26] No Time to Die.

[9:28] She's good.

[9:30] I feel like she's a little in over her head in this movie.

[9:32] But she's very good as a cute, charming lady firing guns at people in that last James Bond movie.

[9:40] So I feel like she was part of the problem.

[9:43] The thing is that she gets by on her almost endless supply of charisma.

[9:48] She is very charming.

[9:50] And the real issue here is not.

[9:52] You don't quite know what these characters are doing.

[9:54] Yeah, I would say the issue is not with her.

[9:56] It's with the way the character is written.

[9:58] No, it's with Ben Affleck.

[10:00] I think it's the way the character is written.

[10:00] And I but I also think it's the issues with Ben Affleck and we'll get it.

[10:03] We may we'll get into like they have very little chemistry together.

[10:05] And it's one of these movies where it's

[10:08] a married couple that is unhappy and you're like, were they ever happy?

[10:11] Yeah. It's hard for me to imagine them even

[10:13] dating, let alone getting married like it's so Ben Affleck.

[10:18] He kind of stumbles through this and what I what I would call a sort of Fred

[10:21] Flintstone esque like feel or it's just kind of like he's gone into a kind of a

[10:28] I would say before you get into the like the full details of the plot,

[10:31] just to give a little bit of the background of the characters.

[10:34] We'll we'll eventually learn that Vic is retired.

[10:38] He developed microchips that are used in drones primarily for drone warfare.

[10:43] But he is now retired and he makes a

[10:45] photographic magazine and he cares for a snail and then he's

[10:50] which sounds like a fucking sick pinball machine.

[10:53] Xenophon is that's that's Socrates's wife, right?

[10:56] Was Xenophon? Yeah, yeah.

[10:57] The inspiration for pinball.

[11:00] I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[11:01] Xenophon was the was the philosopher who was Socrates's wife.

[11:03] I got to look it up.

[11:06] Is Socrates married?

[11:08] I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[11:11] Xanthippe was Xanthippe was Socrates's wife.

[11:14] Xenophon was just a philosopher.

[11:15] Yep. So Xenomorph is from alien.

[11:19] That was Socrates's alien.

[11:20] That's how a lot that's in Plato's alien resurrection.

[11:24] That's when Socrates is put on trial and they're forced to shove an alien egg down

[11:28] his throat and then it burst through his belly,

[11:30] executing him for corrupting the youth of Athens.

[11:32] Yeah, yeah.

[11:34] So so don't worry, Dan.

[11:36] He comes back in the later sequel.

[11:38] OK, so yeah.

[11:39] So Vic is like a wealthy retired daddy type character.

[11:43] He's got a daughter and he's a good dad.

[11:45] He drives her to school and he lets her play.

[11:47] Great dad lets her play what the old McDonald McDonald all the time on their Alexa.

[11:53] I don't know about that.

[11:54] That was the point. That was the point that we were like,

[11:57] maybe you should you know, I know that you're having these

[11:59] psychosexual games with one another.

[12:00] Maybe you should present a unified front of no old McDonald playing all the time.

[12:05] And his wife, Melinda, is unsatisfied in their relationship.

[12:09] She drinks heavily.

[12:11] And as we'll see, it's constantly fucking every guy.

[12:13] That's true.

[12:15] Yeah. So they go to a fancy party.

[12:19] This this whole movie takes place in what

[12:21] looks to be like a wealthy, recently gentrified suburb of New Orleans.

[12:27] Yes. And they now they they go to a series

[12:29] of wealthy parties. This one is, I believe, hosted by their friend,

[12:32] Lil Ray Howery.

[12:34] And but could anyone figure out what the purpose of this party was?

[12:37] At first, it's so fancy.

[12:38] And as a caterer and a bartender, I assumed it was like a corporate event.

[12:41] But it's just a house party.

[12:42] Yeah, it almost looks like a like a New Year's Eve party or something.

[12:46] Yeah, it was like a holiday party with no holiday attached.

[12:48] And then as the movie went on, it just became clear.

[12:50] These people's lives are an endless

[12:52] array of rich people need jobs, you know?

[12:54] Yeah.

[12:56] So, yeah, everybody's very wealthy.

[12:58] And then like midway through the party, a a blond, young, handsome guy, Joel shows

[13:05] up and he and Melinda kind of run off and like canoodle.

[13:10] I feel like that's the easiest descriptor.

[13:13] I don't look while Vic watches on.

[13:16] I don't want to I cannot.

[13:19] It is me. It is cruel to say anything about anyone's appearance.

[13:23] I know that this character is styled so that you are like this guy's a doofus.

[13:27] But I took an immediate dislike to this

[13:30] first person that Ana de Armas was sleeping with.

[13:32] I'm like, why this guy?

[13:34] Like everyone else will be like, yeah, sure.

[13:36] Why not sleep around?

[13:37] He's a real he's a real himbo type, Dan.

[13:39] He's a real himbo.

[13:40] Yeah. And it seems like

[13:43] speaking for him, though.

[13:44] Yeah. OK. Yeah.

[13:45] Yes.

[13:46] You can represent the himbos in the audience.

[13:48] I think the movie is making a case at a certain point, starting with him,

[13:51] that she is choosing these guys for maximum irritation of her husband.

[13:56] Yeah. The candidates that she chooses for her

[13:58] her rendezvous are guys that she knows her husband is going to be really pissed off

[14:03] that she's every single guy when they're like when they go off together.

[14:07] He like looks around.

[14:09] Every guy looks around the house like he's worried the parents are going to show up.

[14:13] Yes. Like it immediately to me is the least

[14:16] attractive thing in the world because it makes them seem like they're little baby.

[14:20] Yeah. He especially looks like a little baby.

[14:22] It's like she's dating like a 16 year old.

[14:24] And I'm like, what is this licorice pizza anyway?

[14:27] So keep bringing it up.

[14:29] I should mention at this point that this is a movie about sexual mind games.

[14:33] And it is also Hasbro's first erotic films.

[14:35] Hasbro, the toy company, owns the entertainment company that made this movie.

[14:39] So I was waiting for Mr.

[14:41] Potato Head to show up. He doesn't.

[14:43] How funny would it be later on?

[14:45] Tracy Letts comes up as like a he comes

[14:48] in as like someone who doubts Ben Affleck is above board.

[14:51] But how great would have been if Mr.

[14:52] Potato Head just played that role?

[14:54] And it's like Mr.

[14:55] Potato Head is like, I don't know, Vic, I don't trust you.

[14:57] OK, so so Vic watches his wife, you know,

[15:02] kiss and hang out with this guy and she's doing it in full view of their friends.

[15:06] And

[15:08] meanwhile, I have my notes, a really cool band is playing rock music by the pool.

[15:13] It's like it feels like the kind of thing

[15:15] that my parents would be like, we went to this party and the coolest band was playing.

[15:20] And the band gets a lot of screen time.

[15:21] Yeah, they get a lot of a lot of attention.

[15:23] So Vic's friend, Mary, I was like, is this Adrian Lynn's band?

[15:27] Yeah, it probably is.

[15:28] He's well, he just works the merch table.

[15:31] So he plays the marimbas.

[15:33] Vic's friend, Mary, takes him aside and expresses his concern over

[15:36] the course of the movie, multiple friends of theirs will take Vic aside and express

[15:40] their concerns that Melinda is basically making a public cuckold of Vic.

[15:45] And now, guys, I was wondering,

[15:47] his friends are very openly discussing this with him.

[15:50] And I was and almost casually like, hey, you got to you got to keep an eye on you.

[15:54] You got to keep your wife on a tight leash.

[15:56] She's really making a fool out of you.

[15:58] Is that would you feel comfortable saying that to a friend of yours?

[16:01] Well, I certainly wouldn't put it that way.

[16:04] Like, I mean, that's kind of how they're saying it.

[16:06] No, I know. I know.

[16:08] I mean, like, I don't think I would but in because here's the thing,

[16:12] like, it's never quite clear to what degree Ben Affleck is saving face or what

[16:19] degree this is true, but like later on it is indicated that he's like, OK, well,

[16:24] like this is our arrangement, you know, like whether or not it infuriates him.

[16:28] It's their arrangement.

[16:29] And and the the problem, I guess,

[16:34] in so much as it is, is that like she is so visibly

[16:40] doing this, you know, in front of all of their friends in a way that she's got it.

[16:45] So she's flaunting it.

[16:47] Yeah. Which is like working him up now,

[16:50] like to a degree and we'll get into it.

[16:52] This just seems to be their sex game, like to some degree.

[16:55] I kept waiting for the moment where it was revealed that this was their sex game.

[16:58] And it just kept not happening.

[17:00] And I was like, oh, they're really holding off on this reveal for a long time.

[17:03] And then the movie ended and I was like, oh, OK, I guess that's not their sex game.

[17:06] I mean, I feel like with all relationships,

[17:08] this one suffers from a lack of clear communication.

[17:11] Yeah, well, I mean,

[17:13] because I think that's fair between both them and with their friends.

[17:17] Like if if you're going to bring your,

[17:20] I guess, poly lifestyle around your friends, you might want to inform them.

[17:24] Yeah. Yeah.

[17:25] And if you're bringing your polio string cheese around your friends,

[17:27] bring enough to share and inform them about that.

[17:30] There's to share. But no, because it is like it is like they love each other in

[17:35] their way and like Ana de Armas seems definitely doing this because of Ben Affleck.

[17:41] She's always like seeking out his eyes in the party.

[17:44] It's not like she's like so like these people are fine.

[17:47] She likes them. But like the main point to her seems

[17:51] to be to provoke her husband and her husband is like sexually provoked by it

[17:57] quite a bit and seems to like it until the until a certain point.

[18:01] And then it switches from horny to I'm going to kill people.

[18:05] We call the murder point.

[18:07] He gets hangry, which is a combination of horny and angry.

[18:10] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[18:11] So Melinda gets drunk.

[18:12] Horngry?

[18:13] Horngry be better.

[18:15] And she plays the piano for the party and sings a song.

[18:18] It's great.

[18:19] Then this is where this is where things start getting a little serious.

[18:23] Vic bumps into Joel at the bartender

[18:26] and he tips the bartender 20 bucks, really big Dick and Joel here.

[18:29] And then

[18:31] and then he then there's a scene of him

[18:34] sinister of some sinister handwashing where he explains that there's a missing

[18:38] man, Martin McRae, who was a was a potentially past lover

[18:43] of Melinda's who is missing and that Vic suggests that he's the one who killed him

[18:49] to Joel and Joel takes him a little while to wrap his little noggin around it.

[18:52] But when it gets there, when it gets there,

[18:54] he bounces out of that party pretty fast, watching, watching the idea,

[18:57] watching the understanding of this threat unfold in his mind.

[19:00] It's like watching a semi time lapse

[19:02] of a chicken hatching out of an egg where you're like, OK, I won't say that.

[19:06] This is a little hole. OK, he's OK.

[19:08] He's pushing farther. OK, finally.

[19:10] OK, OK, he's out. He's out.

[19:11] That's the most likable Joel is in the movie, I think, because he he he seems

[19:16] so, like, winningly naive that he's just like, oh, you couldn't be a murderer.

[19:23] Joel, there are two moments that make him

[19:25] kind of likable, and it's that and it's also later on when with childish lack

[19:28] of guile, he he compliments the cheese sandwich that he's eating,

[19:33] that he's been made a grilled cheese sandwich by Vic.

[19:35] And he's just like this.

[19:36] Honestly, it's fucking awesome.

[19:38] Like so genuinely enjoying this cheese sandwich.

[19:41] And the thing is, like, and Joel, you know, despite the threat,

[19:44] Joel comes back and other men fall into the same trap.

[19:49] And the thing is, I kind of understand,

[19:51] because, you know, I'd probably get killed by the species lady, too,

[19:55] is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, I'm an idiot.

[19:59] OK, so.

[20:00] Oh, Joel leaves, Melinda gets mad, they drive home

[20:04] and there's some sensual apple eating

[20:06] where Melinda pulls out a already partially eaten apple

[20:10] out of her kid's lunch and then eats it

[20:12] and shares it with Ben and it's pretty hot.

[20:14] It's a little on the nose that the lady takes a bite

[20:17] out of an apple and then gives it to her husband

[20:19] to take a bite out of.

[20:19] I'm like, Adrienne Lynn, come on, is there a way

[20:23] to get a more obvious metaphor into this movie?

[20:26] I'm not sure.

[20:26] And all he needed later was like a train

[20:29] going through a tunnel while someone's having sex.

[20:31] And he's a little shaken so he needs to calm down

[20:35] so he goes down and checks out his,

[20:38] can we all agree, awesome snail collection.

[20:41] Before that, I just want to mention she goes home

[20:43] and starts making coffee topless

[20:45] while the babysitter is still in the house.

[20:47] We've all been there.

[20:48] And he's like, can you wait till the babysitter leaves

[20:52] to start taking your clothes off?

[20:53] And she's like, wow, God, I hate you, you're such a prude.

[20:56] So yeah, he has to cool off

[20:58] by going to his amazing snail lair.

[21:00] Can you describe it?

[21:03] It's like a garage with like plastic flaps

[21:06] like you would see in like a walk-in cooler.

[21:08] There's a mister, there's all these like tanks

[21:11] filled with snails.

[21:13] They're like, it's all over.

[21:14] There's snails all over the place.

[21:15] You know, I gotta say.

[21:16] And those snails are having a hell of a good time.

[21:19] Those snails are all over each other.

[21:20] They're going crazy and you know,

[21:22] as somebody who's recently started,

[21:24] as somebody who's recently started including snail essence

[21:28] into their skincare routine, I was so excited.

[21:31] I was like, oh, give me some of that snail grease.

[21:34] I thought you were gonna say snails in your love play.

[21:36] Oh yeah, yeah.

[21:37] I mean, that was long ago.

[21:38] I mean, that's not new.

[21:39] I've been doing that forever.

[21:41] There's a part where he's like rubbing lotion

[21:43] on Melinda's legs and I was like,

[21:45] oh, he wants her to be covered with mucus

[21:47] like one of his snails.

[21:50] Now the existence of the snail cave

[21:52] and Batman himself, Ben Affleck in this role

[21:57] makes me wonder if, you know,

[21:59] this could do, there could be a spinoff here of snail man

[22:03] and how snail man, I don't know,

[22:05] he avenges against cheaters, I guess is what he used to do.

[22:09] And so what would snail man's powers be?

[22:11] Snail man, obviously he, yeah, he goes after,

[22:13] he goes after those who have cuckolded other men

[22:17] and what are his powers?

[22:18] Well, based on, based on Audrey's research

[22:22] into snail sex that she was doing during the movie,

[22:26] he would be able to, you know,

[22:30] lure a mate with his snail trail

[22:32] and during intercourse, he would have two penises.

[22:37] Okay, these aren't really crime fighting powers.

[22:40] You say snail trails if you don't know it's a euphemism.

[22:44] Yeah.

[22:46] All right, we're getting to a weird era.

[22:48] What's next?

[22:49] We're getting into a weird area

[22:50] and talking about this sex movie

[22:51] that involves Ben Affleck gazing longingly on snails.

[22:54] And again, this is the, when this happened,

[22:56] I was like, all right, movie, you're getting weird.

[22:58] I like this.

[22:59] This is gonna get weird,

[23:00] but then it pulls back almost instantly.

[23:02] So yeah, so he's a good dad.

[23:04] His friends are still trying to convince him

[23:06] to confront his wife.

[23:07] Melinda finds out that he scared off Joel

[23:09] with this like, everybody's talking about him,

[23:12] you know, saying he murdered Martin.

[23:14] Like all his friends, it's the talk of the town.

[23:16] If you look at the little Wesley Tadler,

[23:18] that's the fucking front page story.

[23:20] This is definitely like the sort of town,

[23:22] A, where there's always a party,

[23:23] and B, where everyone knows Ben Affleck

[23:27] and Ana de Armas' business.

[23:29] Now I can believe the second one more

[23:31] because it is so public and they're like,

[23:34] you know, two hot people in town with very public problems.

[23:37] He's got a face built for paparazzos.

[23:39] Who's been like claiming that he killed someone.

[23:42] But then again, it also does feel like,

[23:44] it just feels very old fashioned,

[23:46] which in a way that's weird since they've modernized

[23:48] the setting of this story.

[23:50] It definitely feels more like a novel from the 50s,

[23:54] which it is.

[23:55] And also that like, nobody,

[23:58] does anyone use the internet ever?

[24:01] No. In this movie?

[24:02] No.

[24:03] I don't think so.

[24:03] I think once you get to a certain point of wealth,

[24:05] I mean, you would think that maybe if they had the internet,

[24:08] they would be like, oh yeah, I mean,

[24:10] I don't have to do all these weird psychosexual games.

[24:12] I can play fucking Elvin Ring.

[24:14] Look at some cookout porn.

[24:17] I'm the one that can start up a fucking OnlyFans

[24:19] or like a Sunroom or some shit.

[24:21] Oh, you know what?

[24:22] I guess Trixie uses her Alexa to play Old McDonald's.

[24:24] That's the one time someone uses the internet.

[24:27] But yeah, you'd think the internet would be helping them

[24:29] with a lot of this.

[24:30] They wouldn't have to live so openly

[24:31] or people might be able to like research stuff.

[24:33] I don't know.

[24:34] Although I guess a smartphone is a pretty important

[24:37] plot point later on in the movie.

[24:38] Oh, that's right.

[24:39] How could I forget the best scene in the movie?

[24:41] How could I forget the best scene in the movie

[24:42] involves a smartphone?

[24:44] She found out that he scared off Joel

[24:46] and she needs him to apologize.

[24:49] Seems weird, but okay.

[24:50] Because at this point,

[24:51] we still don't really know what their arrangement is.

[24:54] So they invite Joel over for a nice dinner.

[24:57] We find out that he's allergic to shellfish.

[24:59] You know what else has shells?

[25:00] Snails.

[25:01] Yep, and he can't eat Ben Affleck's

[25:03] famous family lobster bisque,

[25:05] which Melinda says, I hate lobster bisque.

[25:07] So he has to make it like a little baby boy grilled cheese.

[25:11] Sorry.

[25:11] Oh, sorry.

[25:13] No, it's okay.

[25:14] No, I was just thinking about how like

[25:15] there are a couple of times in the movie

[25:17] where the movie sets up that

[25:19] various things are poisonous to people

[25:22] and nothing comes of it.

[25:23] No one gets poisoned.

[25:24] Yeah, I mean, they talk later,

[25:25] they talk about, yeah, how,

[25:26] oh, if you don't starve a snail

[25:28] and make sure its intestines are empty when you cook it,

[25:30] then you'll poison yourself

[25:31] and you're waiting for him to sacrifice his snails

[25:34] to kill someone and it doesn't happen.

[25:36] He makes that statement

[25:37] so that people don't just eat his snails,

[25:40] despite him saying they're not for eating,

[25:42] this fucking nutsack is like,

[25:43] no, you won't miss a handful of them.

[25:45] I'm like, screw you, Jim.

[25:47] Why don't I just scoop up a bunch of your pets

[25:49] and throw them in a pot of water and we'll eat them?

[25:51] It's like, I don't know why people

[25:52] would let me just eat your snails, man.

[25:54] Don't be weird about it.

[25:54] And you know, why don't I just take your daughter

[25:56] and butcher her and make hamburgers out of her?

[25:59] We can do that, too.

[26:00] It's like, everything in your house is edible, right?

[26:02] Why don't I take this chair and we can take bites out of it?

[26:05] Why would you ever murder me?

[26:07] There's like the odor of snails,

[26:10] like cartoon hobos, like, why don't you eat your snails?

[26:14] He puts his snails out on the windowsill

[26:17] to get some fresh air,

[26:18] and all the townspeople come by and snatch them up.

[26:21] Okay, so we find out that he's allergic to shellfish,

[26:23] so he makes him a little grilled cheese,

[26:25] and a darmus, eats the grilled cheese,

[26:27] and honestly, at that point, I'm like,

[26:29] I want a grilled cheese, too.

[26:30] And they make it sound great.

[26:31] They're both really, they enjoy this grilled cheese

[26:34] so much more than I think anyone in the movie

[26:35] enjoys the sex that they're having.

[26:37] Like, it's just real satisfaction.

[26:39] So they have, Vic and Melinda have a fight in front of Joel,

[26:44] and then she makes him take their daughter upstairs

[26:46] to read bedtime stories while she seduces him.

[26:49] And the obviousness of the seduction here

[26:53] is like more extreme.

[26:55] Like, I've seen more careful interactions

[26:59] in a cuckold, like, Brazzers production, right?

[27:02] Like, I've seen better sneaking around

[27:04] in an actual porno movie.

[27:07] In the porns you watch where people are having sex

[27:09] behind a kitchen island, and the other person

[27:11] fails to see it, it's more believable than this one.

[27:14] When I see those, I'm like, man,

[27:15] I wish I had a bigger kitchen.

[27:19] Not for the sex, just so I could see it.

[27:20] I'd do so much for cheating if I had a big enough island.

[27:23] An island big enough for someone to hide behind.

[27:26] Like, somebody giving me a blowjob

[27:29] could never hide behind this butcher's block.

[27:31] Yeah, yeah, when I'm checking out the listing,

[27:34] I'm like, uh, I'm gonna need to bring this dummy in,

[27:38] and I'm like, hold on, please.

[27:41] You sit over there where the dining room table's gonna be.

[27:44] Can you see the dummy behind the island?

[27:45] I gotta get the sidelights right on this, can you?

[27:48] All right, now from the bedroom.

[27:49] Now we're gonna need to go into the bedroom

[27:51] and see if I can open the door just enough

[27:53] that you can see my face, but not the person behind me.

[27:56] Yeah, yeah, okay.

[27:58] Okay, now let's do the same thing with the shower curtains.

[28:01] I need, every room I need to do this in.

[28:04] Yeah, and you said how many glory holes are in this house?

[28:07] Man, huh, well, the listing really should have said.

[28:12] Well, there's two of what you would normally

[28:14] call a glory hole, and then this room

[28:16] has a hole in the wall that could function as a glory hole.

[28:18] That's why we said three in the listing.

[28:20] Classic New York real estate.

[28:22] Or it's where Brom the boy lives, who knows?

[28:25] Okay, it's Broms, right, not Brom.

[28:27] Broms. I'm an idiot.

[28:29] Oh, man, edit that, edit that, Alex.

[28:31] Leaving all the gross shit.

[28:33] Wait, like, so, wait, Brom is the fantasy painter,

[28:35] Broms is the boy who lives in the walls.

[28:37] Okay, great, yeah, we got it.

[28:38] Okay, and Crom is Conan Scott.

[28:41] Yeah.

[28:43] So, Melinda hangs out with Joel,

[28:45] and then she makes Vic serve him a drink,

[28:50] at which point Vic is like, here's your drink,

[28:52] okay, I called you an Uber, and Joel's like,

[28:54] I didn't call an Uber, and he's like,

[28:56] well, you should, because I'll murder you,

[28:58] so he gets in the car and leaves.

[28:59] He goes, by the way, I did kill that other guy, McRae.

[29:02] What?

[29:04] So, next scene, we're at yet another party,

[29:07] this time, Tracy Letts shows up, hell yeah, baby,

[29:10] and he's playing like a novelist or a screenwriter,

[29:13] or some kind of a writer, working on a modern noir.

[29:15] He's a writer who writes noirs,

[29:17] and he has a screenplay going on,

[29:19] and he tells them about a screenplay of his

[29:21] that's getting produced, and he describes it,

[29:23] and it sounds like the most boring story ever.

[29:26] He's like, yeah, it's kind of autobiographical,

[29:28] a young writer gets caught up in a mystery,

[29:31] and it turns out there's secrets, and a shadowy whatever,

[29:34] and it's like, do you even like your story?

[29:37] Well, also, this could be an angel investor.

[29:39] He could be talking to the fucking sharks right now.

[29:42] Yeah, he's talking to Vic, Vic has money to burn,

[29:45] and he also goes out of his way to point out

[29:49] that Vic's invention kills people all the time,

[29:51] and Vic goes, the drones that my chip is used for

[29:54] could deliver food to poor children,

[29:57] but they don't, and he goes, no, they don't.

[30:00] for a bit of like that moment where he admits like no, it don't make sense to me.

[30:02] And I so let's the moment he shows up knowing that he's a writer of mysteries or thrillers

[30:08] you're like okay well here's the fly in the ointment and he turns out to be like a this

[30:13] is the thing that feels most like classic Patricia Highsmith to me because I read you

[30:17] know all like the Ripley books as well as a couple of the other and like this guy who

[30:22] is not dumb like but sort of like blunders into the story takes a dislike to the murdering hero

[30:30] and is not as smart as he thinks he is. Let's call him protagonist. I don't know a hero is

[30:34] a stretch let's say protagonist. Okay yeah the protagonist well yeah okay anti-hero but like

[30:41] okay anti-hero sure they think you know they think that they're smart enough to tangle with

[30:44] this person and they're not as smart or as desperate and you know we'll see what happens

[30:50] but like it feels very nice. I've never read anything by Patricia Highsmith but I read stuff

[30:54] under a student in Patricia Lowsmith but that's mostly a lot of like knockabout farce. Oh no

[31:00] he's gonna go there guys. It's a lot of it's a lot of Andy Capp fan fiction.

[31:07] Never say Elliot doesn't know about anti-fans.

[31:11] Oh man once it gets rolling. I've also read a book by Patricia Blacksmith but that was just

[31:16] about making horseshoes. Oh cool yeah yeah and Patricia Silversmith who wrote Johnny Tremaine.

[31:23] I'm in the game too boys.

[31:30] Okay so uh this is where things get a little bit spicy uh Vic decides. Spicy like a good

[31:37] Nolans gumbo. Oh yeah. Danielle kept my wife and I we were watching this she kept saying

[31:41] no one in this movie is southern like it's so clearly Louisiana but no one is southern

[31:46] they're all I guess transplants. That's why it feels like it's a gentrified suburb like it's

[31:50] all those people that are like I love jazz fest uh burn on my parents burn on both of them um okay.

[31:57] What if we could live at jazz fest all year round? It's a beautiful dream but maybe it's a reality.

[32:03] Yeah so uh it's called Tremaine you can just watch those dvds all the fucking time.

[32:08] So this is where Vic does a little bit of a change-em-up. He decides to dance with Tracy

[32:15] Letts's wife Kelly played by Kristen Connelly the star of Cabin in the Woods a movie I remember

[32:20] liking um and he decides to strike you and did either of you it feels like um if it struck at

[32:27] first I wasn't sure if that was Tracy Letts's wife or secretary or daughter because she's much

[32:32] younger than him but but Ana de Armas is much younger than an athlete maybe they're just setting

[32:36] up it's a world where men with means marry much younger women I guess yeah and his everybody's

[32:41] like oh my god I didn't know he could dance and by dancing he just takes her and spins her around

[32:46] it's hilarious like over and over again I'm like he still doesn't he doesn't know how to dance it's

[32:51] great uh and then he like grabs her head and then uh they then he really doesn't know how to dance

[32:58] he throws her in the air like a pizza pie yeah uh then then Vic and Melinda uh they drive home

[33:05] and she grills him about dancing with her and uh then she gives him a car blow job and then she

[33:11] pulls his pube out of her mouth and then they have sex hooray their mayor just saved right

[33:16] but they have kind of like an argument in the car like she gave him a car blow job but I think she

[33:19] bites him or something yeah and then twice and she's like yeah and he's like stop it and he's

[33:23] like we'll say that I'd be better I'm better in bed or whatever like she's like do you think she's

[33:28] better at sex with me it's like I just met her I don't know I haven't tried yet it's classic brat

[33:32] brat tamer behavior it's fine that's how I'm not familiar with I'm not familiar with these

[33:39] yeah just fill out just fill out a little thing on bdsm.org and it'll explain it all don't worry

[33:44] about it so it's a charitable website it's not for profit it's not it's not for profit yeah so

[33:50] uh where all of their sexes hate sex they don't seem to ever have love sex yes there's there yeah

[33:56] there's a fair amount of animosity yeah it's always not talking about the rule that the orcs

[34:01] and goblins used to suffer from in the old warhammer fantasy battle days and is that is

[34:06] this the sex scene where she goes kiss my butt and he's kissing a butt and I thought it was such

[34:10] a funny way to command it it's like a kid like a kid's idea of sex talk kiss my butt uh-huh yeah

[34:15] well I yeah to me it was just like just the outside just the outside what arguments did

[34:22] adrian line and have with disney and hasbro who were like you cannot have eat my ass in your

[34:29] film yeah okay what about lick my ass no no kiss my butt okay it feels creepier somehow yeah so his

[34:40] his was he suggested the screenplay he suggested eat my ass he didn't write the screenplay they

[34:44] suggested smooch my smooch my hinder and he was like well let's find somewhere in the middle eat

[34:51] my shorts and I will say yeah have you guys don't have a cow man you guys have seen jacob's ladder

[34:58] right yeah there's the scene where they're at a party and his girlfriend is dancing with a man

[35:04] who's turning into like an alligator and and the tail is wrapping around her that scene I thought

[35:09] is I was like where's the sexiness of that scene where this woman is dancing orgasmically with an

[35:14] alligator's tail or a tentacle or whatever it is like this that this movie was missing that kind of

[35:18] uh passion and kiss my butt just wasn't doing it for me in the fashion department

[35:23] so later on they're at a kid's soccer game and vick gets a call from the uh from the bank that

[35:29] his wife's uh his wife's bank account didn't have sufficient funds to cover a three thousand dollar

[35:34] check that she had written for piano lessons uh so I guess he like maintains her account and gives

[35:40] her an allowance but like that feels like he left it pretty low that's kind of weird yeah that's not

[35:44] a lot of money but who's she taking piano lessons from ray charles true well we find out that there's

[35:48] something else going on so he's trying to track down charles let's just say there's another word

[35:54] that sounds like pianist oh man he's on he's on today there's one uh okay so this is this was

[36:03] this next scene was great because for me it kind of it answered a question because he then goes

[36:08] and he just starts calling every single bar and lounge in the in the city asking do you have live

[36:15] music and you know what i have gotten that call so many times at a fucking bar and i'm like who is

[36:20] this insane person who needs live music the thing is it's these guys who are trying to track down

[36:24] their cheating wife's lovers yeah that's what it is they're trying to track down the lovers and

[36:28] little wesley of course is a party town so there's a lot of bars probably multiples have live music

[36:33] but he manages to track down the right one he managed to track down the right one he goes he

[36:37] finds uh he catches his wife at a lounge visiting a young piano player played by uh the tall young

[36:43] fellow from euphoria now stewart have you ever have you ever considered having live music at

[36:48] your bar uh well i don't think we i think it's a stipulation in our lease that we're not allowed to

[36:53] oh thank god i see okay and also i would prefer not to um okay let's see um uh the police end up

[37:02] finding the body of martin mccray uh but it was and they have arrested a man for shooting him and

[37:07] it is not vic so maybe vic's off the hook maybe he isn't a killer oh no he probably still is because

[37:12] we'll get uh he and his daughter get a dog he's not uh they get a dog we watch him give a snail a

[37:20] bath uh he rinses off a snail while imagining his wife having sex with this pianist in a in a car

[37:29] and it is he is so lovingly rinsing the snail and he doesn't explain what he's doing i don't know

[37:34] why the snail's getting cleaned but you know that i wanted more of that like i said and yeah like

[37:39] his imagination it's pretty hot you know it's like uh you know it it's it doesn't reach the

[37:45] heights of like tom cruise's imagination in uh in eyes wide shut probably not but you know who cares

[37:52] um who cares uh does it reach the heights of the imagination of your average zootopia

[37:57] uh art fan no no you're right not it doesn't get quite that hot or that extreme you know but

[38:05] so melinda stays out all night uh they she comes home they get in a fight and she's apparently

[38:12] still drunk because he says you're drunk you don't know how unattractive it is and i'm like i don't

[38:16] know dude she's still pretty attractive i mean it's an enormous come on chill out um and she

[38:21] tries to seduce him but mainly it's just like it's a mixture of seduction and like and like

[38:26] being shitty to him again it's like a weird sexual dominance game uh one that he doesn't this is

[38:32] it's one that he doesn't seem like he wants like she wants to play one type of way and he clearly

[38:37] doesn't want to play that way yeah yes and she's like uh she's like do you want to know if if he

[38:43] makes me come how i make him come and i just thought that was so much harder when you say it

[38:47] by the way yeah just the way she said i was like how many ways are there i mean there's a lot of

[38:54] ways but yeah there's a lot but like it doesn't involve construction equipment like what what's

[38:58] so amazing sometimes i need to know how if he asks okay how do you make him come and she goes

[39:04] ah the usual way good night i touch his penis a bunch and then she like i show him pictures

[39:11] of fucking grimace while licking his butthole the use you know it's so is that is is that so

[39:19] he can imagine that it's grimace doing it it that's the thing he doesn't know at this point

[39:24] yeah at this point a fetish object becomes just that elliot you know he doesn't know if he wants

[39:29] grimace or if he wants to be grimace okay there's it because there's already a grimace that has sex

[39:34] his name is gritty and he's available yeah that's true uh so another big party gets thrown uh there's

[39:40] a ton of fun drinking games everybody's having a great time until that piano player shows up again

[39:46] uh not again this is the first time he shows up she flirts with vic she sneaks off with charlie

[39:52] the piano player um they end up hooking hooking up in the pool while vic watches with his friend uh

[40:00] Loray Howley, how are you? How are you?

[40:02] How are you? There's a there's a real funny moment here where so she's like,

[40:05] I have this friend who's a pianist.

[40:06] He's like, let me just play a little something.

[40:08] And he starts playing this hot boogie woogie music and everyone's dancing.

[40:11] And she backs her butt into Vick's crotch.

[40:15] And it's like the Soyuz capsule docking with a space station.

[40:18] It's so deliberate and slow.

[40:21] And it's so funny.

[40:23] It's like it was like beep, beep and engaging.

[40:26] And but has touched crotch.

[40:28] We did it, everybody.

[40:29] And Mission Control all applauds and cheers.

[40:31] It was just very funny the way they did it.

[40:33] OK, it starts to rain.

[40:35] Everybody goes inside to make cookies.

[40:37] And then they they realize Charlie's not here.

[40:41] And they find him face down, drowned in the pool.

[40:44] And Vick was the last person in the pool with him.

[40:47] Oh, did Vick kill this guy?

[40:49] We'll find out that, yes, he did.

[40:52] The police and the police arrive.

[40:54] Melinda immediately accuses Vick of murdering Charlie.

[40:57] They kind of interrogate him.

[41:00] But he he plays it cool as a cucumber.

[41:02] Everybody's everybody seems pretty happy with what's going on.

[41:06] At this point, you're probably wondering what happened to their child

[41:09] who was at the party earlier in the day?

[41:11] We don't know. Doesn't matter.

[41:12] Don't care.

[41:14] But the child also thinks

[41:17] Trixie also thinks that he he killed Charlie.

[41:19] Yeah, she's taking a bath and she's like, so how did you drown him?

[41:23] He's like, please don't say that.

[41:25] Like, I think you're lying.

[41:26] And he's like, yeah, well, let's keep that between the two of us.

[41:29] It's pretty cute, actually.

[41:31] It is really cute.

[41:32] It's one of the cuter ways that a kid can accuse their parent of murder.

[41:36] They I mean, that's the innocence of a child.

[41:38] You should know this.

[41:38] Ellie, you have them.

[41:39] Yeah. So there's how do they there's a murder, Ellie?

[41:43] Well, the way they do it is I say, hey, put that thing down

[41:47] that you just picked up in the playground.

[41:48] Don't put it in your mouth.

[41:49] And they go, you're trying to kill me really loudly.

[41:52] And I have to go, shh, shh, shh.

[41:55] I am not trying to kill him.

[41:57] Oh, there was the there's a there's probably the roughest thing in the movie

[42:01] is they're trying to pull the Charlie's body out of the pool

[42:04] and it slips out of their hands and hits the side of the pool and falls back in.

[42:08] And it's both it's both comical and also horrific.

[42:11] The sounds that they put on it.

[42:12] Yeah. So there is a moment where Vic confronts Melinda,

[42:17] and though she thinks he killed Charlie, she doesn't think that he'll kill her.

[42:22] He thinks that she he kills because of her.

[42:25] And I'm like, darling, you got to be more careful.

[42:27] Like those that line gets blurred, like cross pretty quickly these days.

[42:31] OK, so these days, these days, murderers don't have the same social

[42:36] manners as they used to have.

[42:38] Restraints they were wanted for the old days.

[42:42] Yep. In the old days, murderers knew to write a letter

[42:45] when they're going to murder you.

[42:48] And in the old days, murderers, they would say, Mr.

[42:50] Police, I gave you all the clues as a courtesy.

[42:56] Mr. Police feel please find enclosed all the clues.

[42:59] So he's he's riding his bike around Lil Wesley

[43:03] and he's having visions of murdering Charlie.

[43:06] Or is it a memory? Who knows?

[43:08] We know he murdered him.

[43:11] And the he sees that somebody is tailing him.

[43:14] We'll find out that's a private investigator later on.

[43:17] Tracy Letts, his wife, Kelly, catches Vic and warns him that Tracy

[43:22] Letts is been talking about Vic behind his back.

[43:26] So while they're oh, yeah, they they have Tracy Letts and his wife over for dinner.

[43:32] And that's when Tracy Letts and Ben Affleck have a really cool confrontation

[43:35] in the snail cave.

[43:37] And and he and he describes him as you're a weird guy, which is true.

[43:43] Yeah. And I like the way that Ben Affleck wearily is like, yeah,

[43:46] I've been told that or whatever.

[43:49] Yeah, I got a big tattoo of a phoenix on my back or whatever it is.

[43:53] Later on, Vic catches he finds that car that's been tailing him.

[43:56] It's clearly a private investigator based on the camera equipment

[43:59] that's just left in the backseat like that would get stolen.

[44:03] But not Lil Wesley. It's a nice town.

[44:05] Now, Lil Wesley, the only crime is the crime is the constant parade of murders.

[44:11] Welcome to town, folks.

[44:13] Yeah, you don't worry about locking up your doors unless, of course,

[44:17] you're adulterers, in which case lock those doors tight.

[44:21] The only this is the kind of community where people trust each other

[44:24] until they murder each other.

[44:26] It's a little bit like it's a little bit.

[44:27] It's the town has gone from Fargo, the movie to Fargo, the TV show

[44:31] where the number one industry in town is murder. Yeah.

[44:36] So after finding the car, Vic then catches Melinda at a restaurant with a man,

[44:42] which we'll find out is the private investigator.

[44:44] But at first I was like, man, she's on another date.

[44:48] Yeah. Like, Jesus, chill.

[44:51] I mean, but she does go on another date like the next day.

[44:53] Yeah. Yeah, man. Wow. Yeah. OK.

[44:57] She tears through the guys. That's the other thing.

[44:59] She also tears through the guys.

[45:00] This town is full of eligible bachelors.

[45:03] And she is just she she can't get enough of them.

[45:05] OK, so armed with this knowledge, Vic then crashes.

[45:10] This is my probably my favorite scene in the movie

[45:12] where he crashes the Wilson's dinner.

[45:14] That's Tracy Letts and his wife and their daughter, Goldie.

[45:18] And he confronts Tracy Letts about hiring a private investigator with his wife.

[45:25] Tracy Letts, his wife, Kelly, apologized to him.

[45:27] And Don gets angry.

[45:28] He's like, don't apologize to him.

[45:30] And then and they're like and they're like, go inside, Goldie.

[45:33] Go inside. Like everyone's shouting at Goldie.

[45:36] And then they're like, who didn't lock the gate?

[45:38] He's just like, well, it's great.

[45:39] It's a great scene. I love it.

[45:41] It's funny how quickly Finn Affleck just like dismantles him.

[45:45] Like, it seems like this guy is going to be more of a threat.

[45:48] And he's just like, he shuts him down.

[45:50] Although I will say that, like, this is like

[45:53] the one last great Tracy Letts scene we get before the ending, which we'll get to.

[45:58] But the ending, which is the greatest Tracy Letts scene.

[46:02] But this guy is the king of unforced errors.

[46:04] He is constantly stumbling over his own feet.

[46:07] But it feels like it does feel, I don't know.

[46:11] Having seen other movies of this type,

[46:13] this is low on the sort of cat and mouse shenanigans I was expecting.

[46:17] I thought there would be a little bit more of like a battle of wits

[46:20] between the two of these guys.

[46:21] And it's like so overmatched in this movie.

[46:26] Yeah, it's more like it's more like man and half dead cockroach.

[46:29] Like it's already half.

[46:30] It's already lying on its back.

[46:31] It's its legs just wiggling you out of mercy.

[46:34] You might just leave it there, you know.

[46:36] OK, then we see Vic is tailing Melinda and she's with yet another man.

[46:41] This time it's Tony Cameron, her college boyfriend,

[46:45] played by Han Solo himself, Harrison Ford.

[46:48] No, I'm just kidding. It's Finn Wittrock.

[46:52] Yeah, he played.

[46:53] It was the guy who played Han Solo in Solo, right?

[46:56] Finn Wittrock? No.

[46:57] Wait, Alden Ehrenreich played.

[46:59] So wait, what did Finn Wittrock do?

[47:01] I have no idea.

[47:02] I mean, remembering Finn Wittrock for his run on All My Children,

[47:05] my mom's favorite soap opera.

[47:06] Maybe he was in a bunch of American horror stories.

[47:09] I don't know who he's in a lot of like.

[47:12] But what's his name?

[47:13] Han Solo this whole time.

[47:15] No, that's why Disney acquired it.

[47:17] So they could have a lock on Finn Wittrock.

[47:19] He was in the big short.

[47:21] He was in.

[47:23] And guys, I hate to say it.

[47:24] I hate to say it.

[47:25] I did see him on Broadway in Death of a Salesman

[47:28] when Philip Seymour Hoffman was playing.

[47:30] Dude, if you say he was in an episode of Harry's Law, you'll lose my shit.

[47:33] I'm trying to see where you might know him from.

[47:36] He was in an episode of Harry's Law.

[47:37] He played Jimmy Cormack on the episode New Kidney on the block.

[47:40] So, yes, that's where you know him from is Harry's Law.

[47:43] Yeah. Oh, my God.

[47:44] In 2012.

[47:46] Oh, my God.

[47:47] It happened so much.

[47:49] That's where you know him from.

[47:54] This made it all made that mistake worthwhile.

[47:58] I can't believe it.

[48:01] So we know where we saw him at.

[48:03] I saw him on Broadway as Happy Loman.

[48:06] You saw him in Harry's Law.

[48:08] And I just was like, oh, here's another guy.

[48:10] I don't care. Oh, yeah.

[48:12] Not just and definitely another guy because he's playing Guy Gardner

[48:15] in the upcoming Green Lantern series.

[48:17] Oh, my God.

[48:18] According to Wikipedia, and here is strangers on the train.

[48:21] One of the characters is named Guy, and that's based on a Patricia

[48:24] Highsmith, Patricia Highsmith novel.

[48:27] It all comes full circle.

[48:28] And all because Stu, for some reason, thought that he was playing solo.

[48:34] He does a little bit like all the fuck a little bit.

[48:37] He's a white guy with brown hair.

[48:38] Yeah. Oh, OK.

[48:41] Woo. OK, let's let's let's bring let's dock this bud against the crotch.

[48:46] OK, OK.

[48:49] So Vic over here is Melinda on the phone

[48:52] talking about running away to Brazil and taking Trixie with her.

[48:56] Tony Cameron shows up and wanders into Vic's snail lair,

[49:01] and then they have an awkward dinner conversation.

[49:04] And that's when he's like, oh, you're making making dinner.

[49:07] Why don't you cook up some of those fucking snails?

[49:09] And he's like, no.

[49:10] And then they're like, yeah, let's do it.

[49:13] And his wife is like, mm, with garlic butter.

[49:15] It's like, wait a minute.

[49:16] You don't like lobster bisque, but you do like snails.

[49:19] Yeah. Hold on a second.

[49:20] Yeah, I'm not buying this point.

[49:21] She's just fucking again.

[49:23] It's it's it's all part of the game.

[49:25] He's like, you know, we used to eat all the time in between scenes

[49:27] on Harry's Law was snails.

[49:29] Maybe we should fry up some of those.

[49:32] Stop. I told you to stop bringing up Harry's.

[49:35] You know, you know, it affects me earlier.

[49:38] Yeah, sorry. All these years later.

[49:40] OK, so I love somebody.

[49:43] Somebody someday is going to make the Venn diagram of things.

[49:45] Stuart watches.

[49:46] And it's like it's like Gossip Girl, Harry's Law, Bratz.

[49:50] And like, I haven't even talked about this season of fucking Brad's.

[49:54] Drag race, guys.

[49:55] Because RuPaul's Drag Race.

[49:57] I just want to explain to you the.

[50:00] of a season of television where on the first episode all the contestants are

[50:04] given a chocolate bar like in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory okay they're

[50:11] all given a chocolate bar okay and when they are eliminated they have to open up

[50:16] this chocolate bar that we are led to believe they're carrying around this

[50:19] whole time and one of them is gold and we'll give that person that that Queen a

[50:26] chance to shantay and stay instead of sashaying away and so the entire season

[50:33] is filled with Queens getting eliminated having this like the emotional weight of

[50:37] learning they have to go home and then they have to in front of everybody open

[50:41] up this fucking chocolate bar and they all go it's just chocolate it's so

[50:46] ridiculous this is the whole season of television I get it's like the wildest

[50:50] thing and halfway through I'm like can they just get can they just stop it's

[50:57] great man okay now should I mention did we mention already I think we forgot

[51:02] sorry that this something I want to mention is that this house that they're

[51:05] in has appeared in another flop house movie which is that I think Dan

[51:09] discovered or no it was a steward who discovered it that the movie a little

[51:13] bit of heaven also part of this movie was shot in so this not just Tracy Letts

[51:17] returning to the flop house but the house that the movie is also returning

[51:21] to the flop house it's that puts the house in flop house I sent you the

[51:24] paragraph but I'll admit I didn't notice that there was another flop house movie

[51:28] in that paragraph until you pointed it out I just because we were having a

[51:32] discussion over like where this was shot and I thought it was interesting but

[51:38] this is a famous flop house house so Vic what sees Melinda hooking up with Tony

[51:43] out on the veranda Vic then surprises the next day Vic surprises Tony with a

[51:50] wilderness hike to his favorite gorge there's a he's driving kind of a

[51:56] radically up to this gorge and there's a really cool fake driving shot of him

[52:01] driving crazy and them talking it's great at one point he brought their new

[52:06] dog Roger along and Rogers watching this whole thing and at one point he hits a

[52:10] bump and like a bunch of snail shells fall out of a bag and I'm like what is

[52:14] happening is he gonna feed him all those poison no doesn't matter there's no

[52:18] those are just supplies for his nail yeah so then Tony's walking around being

[52:24] like what are we doing here and then Vic immediately kills him with a rock

[52:27] attack he just starts throwing rocks at him so clumsily it's really fun it's

[52:32] great not even like not even I'm gonna take a rock in two hands and slam it

[52:36] into your head he's just throwing them at him from a distance yep yep the

[52:40] Beantown bad boy doing a little Boston Boston Red Sox throwing okay and he he

[52:47] knocks him down a cliff he knocks him down into the gorge he hits his head he

[52:50] dies and then Vic hides the body in the river with rocks and belts and like a

[52:56] dog leash and tries to sink the body and he does a terrible job he does a poor

[53:03] job and he just covers him with stuff that you could trace back to Vic he's

[53:06] like what do I have with me my dog's leash great take that off the dog put it

[53:10] on this yeah I don't like and Rogers watching the whole time it was a perfect

[53:14] yes yeah the dog is a way accident yeah it was so strange to me that he's like

[53:18] okay there's nothing that shows that this was up you think other than I'm

[53:22] falling down and now I'm like now I gotta move the body and and take his

[53:28] wallet and hold on to it as it might just leave the wallet with him like wait

[53:33] it's not like he yanked out all the teeth or some shit like using his snail

[53:40] saw to cut his hands off and cut his feet off and his head you know but he's

[53:43] yeah it's it he makes a lot of big mistakes and I think it's what it is is

[53:48] he got lucky with that first murder he is not the he's not the masterminds that

[53:52] we might have thought you know definitely you know like even at the

[53:55] time with that first murder I'm like I mean everyone does know that you were

[53:58] the last person in the pool with this guy it is a good setup pools are

[54:01] dangerous he was drunk you know on drugs like I get it but man you know

[54:07] pick another time yeah I mean that's another yeah just something maybe he was

[54:12] just planning on doing like a little bit of catch with rocks I mean when he said

[54:17] heads up he expected him to notice that he just didn't now here's that guys this

[54:22] is a continuity goof in deep water listen I'm to be and I wanted to I want

[54:25] to see if you thought this was a real goof this is at around 52 minutes when

[54:28] Charlie is playing the piano and Melinda is touching Vick's genitals his

[54:32] mouth is open then shut in the next shot while the song is playing yeah now I feel

[54:37] like it doesn't take much time for someone to open and shut their mouths I

[54:40] don't think that's a continuity mistake that's not like we're in a wristwatch or

[54:44] some shit that was so funny that last season of Game of Thrones where it was

[54:50] just like do they care anymore there's a Starbucks cups and bottles water all

[54:53] that's great so it was that one scene where Jamie Lannister was riding a

[54:59] Segway I mean come on guys what are you doing Vic celebrates by giving his

[55:04] daughter some wine and then the next day they all go up to that very same gorge

[55:08] for a picnic they end up doing a little bit of manual stimulation did you said

[55:14] you want to make a joke about Vic exploring his own favorite gorge right

[55:18] I and then he and then he gives her his magazine of photos what's that Xanthippe

[55:30] is that the name of the magazine Xenophon he made like a yeah he made

[55:33] like a personalized mag magazine of photos and poems about her you know yeah

[55:39] it's it's you know maybe a little creepy because we know he's a murderer but

[55:44] whatever I mean that's it's how he expresses affection he doesn't do it

[55:47] through through emotions but instead through laboriously produced self

[55:52] publishing yeah yeah so he then goes to check on his daughter he sees that the

[55:57] dead body is still didn't get weighed down properly so he's like when he hit

[56:02] the body in a in a two-inch deep stream the body didn't disappear that a movie

[56:08] named deep water would feature some fucking deep water right this is some

[56:13] shallow water for deep water yeah okay so they they look there's deeper water

[56:19] in a star is born a movie with a song called shallow

[56:33] okay so they head home and Melinda realized that she forgot her scarf so

[56:38] Vic's like don't worry about I'll go up tomorrow first thing and pick up that

[56:42] scarf of yours and hide the body they reconnect a little bit out loud and she

[56:48] was hiding a body no no just find a body no you said the find a body thing again

[56:53] you know you know you know how scarf sounds like body and then they they

[56:58] reconnect and she lets him stay the night in her room I think things are

[57:02] looking up for this couple yeah next day she finds Tony's wallet

[57:08] snails tonight yeah and he's like but can I still by choice uh-huh it's okay

[57:13] that I put a couple of my pants anyway mm-hmm yeah he likes to sleep down

[57:17] there covered in him like he's some kind of villain from a fucking souls born

[57:20] game so he's like don't worry got some with me and he just jiggles his pockets

[57:25] and you hear the clink clink of snail shells so while he's out riding his bike

[57:32] up to the gorge she finds Tony's wallet in his snail collection uh-oh what's

[57:37] she gonna do so she packs up a bag that her daughter immediately pushes into the

[57:41] pool throws it down the stairs and then pushes in the pool and goes we're not

[57:47] going just this kid is a force yeah there's a hurricane you know so he bikes

[57:52] up to the gorge and he tries to better hide the body does a terrible job and

[57:56] Tracy let's shows up and he finds the scarf and he it's a very awkward

[58:02] confrontation and then he sees that Vic is trying to hide a body so he stumbles

[58:07] up the lip of the gorge Vic is like oh hey hey Donna yeah how's your family

[58:16] how's your family like it's it is not since Walberg in the happening has

[58:21] someone sounded so guilty yeah I had to rewind a couple times to take a look at

[58:25] that like space because he's just like looking behind him down at the water

[58:30] did you think this was a trap that was set by Melinda maybe that would make

[58:35] sense okay yeah I mean so he runs Tracy let's runs away super awkwardly and he

[58:42] like takes him a little while but he gets in his car and he peels out Vic

[58:47] chases him on his bike Don while driving away talks mad shit like he talks the

[58:53] amount of shit where you're like oh you're gonna die you can't talk this

[58:56] much shit without knowing you're gonna get to come up and he's like catch me a

[58:59] fucking fuck you sick break he's so he's so flush with victory that he while

[59:07] driving madly down down Forest Roads to get to the police station in town pulls

[59:12] out his phone and begins texting his wife I was right and it comes out as

[59:17] like it comes the autocorrect is trying to change it he goes like try and throw

[59:24] a tweet up real quick just so he knows like like Larry David is suddenly trying

[59:29] to report a murder on his phone while driving like that's what it feels oh

[59:32] man it's so funny and yep so Don in his rush to text his wife drops his phone

[59:40] Vic takes a shortcut through the down the hill and he ends up crashing his

[59:47] bike in front of the path of Don's car he Don sees him swerves to avoid Vic's

[59:53] body and instead immediately drives off the car and dies like a Toonz's cartoon

[59:58] yeah

[1:00:00] It is, and it is so, and you, there is, and Vic cannot take credit for this kill.

[1:00:05] This is entirely Don's mistake every step of the way.

[1:00:09] Like, this is, if everyone in Lil Wesley is making it this easy for Vic to murder them,

[1:00:14] then Vic should just do it, you know, just go for it.

[1:00:16] If Tracy Letts had just driven at a normal speed, been inside the car, waited to text

[1:00:22] until he was safely at the police station, all this.

[1:00:25] It's silly enough that I assumed somewhere in Tracy Letts' past, he fucked over Tony

[1:00:30] Todd in a Final Destination movie, and he's finally getting that comeuppance.

[1:00:35] He was supposed to die in a cruise ship crash, you know, three years before, and Tony Todd's

[1:00:39] been tracking him down ever since.

[1:00:41] But the, it feels like, it makes you rethink the pool murder, because you're like, so what

[1:00:47] if, it makes me think Charlie was just like, hey Vic, how much water you think I can drink

[1:00:51] before I can't breathe anymore?

[1:00:53] And then he's just going, oh, just swimming around with his mouth open, like, everyone

[1:00:57] is, people are walking into bullets at this point.

[1:01:00] And we're misinterpreting his, like, memories of wrestling with Charlie at this point, because

[1:01:05] we're like, he must have been trying to save him.

[1:01:07] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:01:08] He was like, get out of the pool!

[1:01:09] He's gonna hurt yourself!

[1:01:10] He's doing it angrily, because he's like, why are these people trying to kill themselves

[1:01:14] in front of me?

[1:01:15] Why are people, like, it makes me think that maybe he was like, oh, let me take these rocks

[1:01:21] out of the way.

[1:01:22] And he's like, I'm gonna strip on them.

[1:01:23] And he accidentally throws them and hits Tony in the head, you know?

[1:01:25] Oh, okay.

[1:01:26] It's so, it's just so funny that he decides to text while driving in this moment.

[1:01:31] So Vic rides his bike home, crime perfectly hidden, he gets home, he-

[1:01:38] I would be so much more shaken by that experience than by anything else that happened in the

[1:01:42] movie up till then.

[1:01:45] And he rides his bike up to his front porch, he starts stripping off his clothes, he looks

[1:01:49] up, Melinda is sitting in the same spot she was sitting at the very beginning of the movie,

[1:01:55] and they have the exact same interaction, but she knows what he's done, and she covers

[1:02:01] for him, she burns Tony's wallet and identification, and that's the end of the movie!

[1:02:06] Wait, we got some bloops!

[1:02:07] We got video footage of Trixie singing in the back of the car!

[1:02:11] Yeah.

[1:02:12] It's a great way to end this movie.

[1:02:13] Yeah, that would make me feel like dancing.

[1:02:14] Yeah.

[1:02:15] It is.

[1:02:16] You know, I, you know, child actors are children, which means that-

[1:02:21] Okay, alright, so it checks out, the math I think is solid there.

[1:02:25] They're very up and down, erratic in like whether it's a good addition to a movie or

[1:02:30] not.

[1:02:31] I like this child performance very much because, I don't know, it is precocious without seeming

[1:02:36] false, like it is just funny to, and like to have this like upbeat song from the kid

[1:02:41] as we get our credits after the movie was a nice touch.

[1:02:45] I think that the fact that she's so extraneous to the plot, that she doesn't really, it allows

[1:02:51] them to do scenes with her where they're just kind of playing around with her, which are,

[1:02:54] yeah, she, that kid is super, super funny and cute, and like, it makes it, she brings

[1:03:01] a little bit of life to her scenes that is missing from a lot of the grown-up scenes.

[1:03:06] Now here's the thing, the original novel ends differently, you want to hear how it ends?

[1:03:10] According to Wikipedia, and Wikipedia which also states that Dan's friend, Gillian Flynn,

[1:03:15] that this is one of her favorite novels, that apparently at the end of this, Don gets

[1:03:21] away, calls the police, Vic comes home, strangles his wife, and then the police arrive to arrest

[1:03:28] him.

[1:03:29] So a very different ending.

[1:03:30] And significantly less funny.

[1:03:31] Yes, much less funny.

[1:03:33] So this version, the original version, this version has allowed it to play out a little

[1:03:36] more ambiguously with Melinda buying into the, like aiding in Vic getting rid of Tony,

[1:03:44] and Vic escaping, it seems, unpunished for his crimes.

[1:03:48] And maybe their marriage strengthened as a result, so how do you feel about this change?

[1:03:52] That's what I was going to say about it, I had actually, yeah, I checked the Wikipedia

[1:03:56] page for how the book ended, I saw that, and I have not read the book, I'm sure in context

[1:04:03] with the tone of the book, that is the ending that makes sense.

[1:04:07] For this adaptation, like just in the abstract, I like this better, because instead of it

[1:04:12] just being a thriller about a murderous husband, it then becomes a kind of dark comedy about

[1:04:22] these two's weird fetishes or weird relationship, and the way that becomes murderous, and the

[1:04:29] way that murder then sort of becomes marriage therapy.

[1:04:33] Yeah, it's kind of like the later seasons of You, but less fun.

[1:04:39] Yeah, yeah.

[1:04:41] I don't know, what do you guys think about that issue?

[1:04:43] Yeah, I mean, I would say that the chosen ending makes it a more interesting movie than

[1:04:49] simply a, because like if the purpose of the, I mean, I feel like the movie doesn't do enough

[1:04:56] to really explicitly explain the character's motivations, but I think that is a more interesting

[1:05:04] avenue to go down than trying to focus on the murdering part, which like the mystery

[1:05:09] of the murderers, because that's not interesting.

[1:05:11] Yes, yeah, I think it would be a better ending if the movie could get its, like if the movie

[1:05:17] was a sexier movie, like it's not a, it's like a movie that should be a sexy movie.

[1:05:22] So what are you saying, like more toe rings?

[1:05:24] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[1:05:28] More songs by Crazy Town, Butterfly Sugar Baby?

[1:05:31] Yeah, exactly.

[1:05:32] It's the sexiest song as chosen by, I don't know.

[1:05:40] Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards?

[1:05:42] I don't know.

[1:05:43] Nickelodeon, you know what, they should really get rid of that sexiest song category for

[1:05:46] the Kids' Choice Awards.

[1:05:47] Yeah, it's off-brand.

[1:05:48] The night that kids get to decide what songs are sexy, but it's a, a lot of people talk

[1:05:55] about how movies have gotten less sexy over the past 10, 15, 20 years, and how as people

[1:06:02] in movies have gotten buffer, they've gotten less sexual, you know, they're just kind of

[1:06:06] objects to look at, but they don't actually have sexual urges.

[1:06:09] And this movie, it's like, it feels like a, the last gasp of a, of the idea of sex in

[1:06:16] movies where it's like, you know, it just doesn't have the strength of the energy anymore

[1:06:20] and it's trying for a moment and then it collapses.

[1:06:23] And so, but I think that ending would, I think that ending would work better if up to this

[1:06:27] point the movie had had like a real sexual passion behind it or sexual chemistry.

[1:06:30] Sizzle.

[1:06:31] Sizzle, yeah.

[1:06:32] Like, like I've, I've, I keep finding more and more that, uh, if a movie has any amount

[1:06:37] of like sexual chemistry in it, I'm like, oh, this movie's great.

[1:06:42] Yeah.

[1:06:43] Uh, just because I'm like, I'm so used to seeing everything else at this point.

[1:06:47] Like.

[1:06:48] Yeah.

[1:06:49] It is weird how infantilizing that is for like the movies to just have decided like,

[1:06:54] no, no, no, no, you don't, you don't get sex.

[1:06:56] That's not a, it's not a thing you're allowed to have in your movies.

[1:06:59] Well, but it's also, it's, I mean, it's, it's culture in general is, is, um, we're

[1:07:03] going through a period that's like very pro sex on the internet and on TV and very anti-sex

[1:07:09] in movies.

[1:07:10] And I wonder why that is.

[1:07:12] And I'm sure someone has an answer and that someone is named Dan McCoy.

[1:07:15] Why do you think that?

[1:07:16] Uh.

[1:07:17] Yeah, Dan.

[1:07:18] Uh, it, it, it's got something to do with target demos, Saturn.

[1:07:24] Oh.

[1:07:25] Okay.

[1:07:26] Interesting.

[1:07:27] Interesting.

[1:07:28] Astrology into it.

[1:07:29] Well, it sounds like Stuart has the answer.

[1:07:30] Let's just, uh, let me just pull up co-stars have to say, I guess mean about me.

[1:07:39] I guess there was a period, there was a time for most of movie history when like the idea

[1:07:44] of something in a movie being sexy was like a drawing point.

[1:07:47] Like this is some people are going to watch this and especially like, but like after the,

[1:07:54] after the 1960s, it was like this, this movie has nakedness in it.

[1:07:58] And now nakedness is so at this point it's hard to avoid, you know, it's no longer the

[1:08:02] draw at once.

[1:08:03] It has been devalued.

[1:08:04] Yeah.

[1:08:05] The supply has gone up and the demand has fallen.

[1:08:09] Joe Biden was having a meeting the other day with about the, with the strategic sex reserve

[1:08:13] and he's like, gentlemen, we have a problem with the devaluing of the American boob.

[1:08:17] It used to be much more valuable, but due to inflation, it is now, it is now, uh, extremely

[1:08:23] not valuable.

[1:08:24] Okay.

[1:08:25] Um, well, this is, this, we have, we're dealing with an economic problem that economists called

[1:08:31] boobflation.

[1:08:32] Uh, it's when boobs are getting bigger, but they're valued less as a result.

[1:08:35] Wow.

[1:08:36] You guys are fucking really throwing out your national lampoon.

[1:08:38] So let's do some final judgments, Dan, let's do some final judgments, uh, whether this

[1:08:44] is a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie movie, you kind of like, I, I will say this is, I

[1:08:50] liked this movie.

[1:08:51] I mean, like, I don't think it all works, but it is in the upper echelon of like genuinely

[1:08:58] liking a movie I watched for this dumb podcast.

[1:09:02] Um, I enjoyed that it had like this weird sex games.

[1:09:08] Uh, I, I, a while back on Twitter, I opined that, um, the perfect, uh, caption for all

[1:09:16] New Yorker cartoons is have our sex games become too elaborate.

[1:09:21] And I feel like if they adapted that caption into a movie, they might make deep water.

[1:09:26] Yeah.

[1:09:27] Uh, it, it feels a little slight, like there's, it seems like there should be a little more

[1:09:31] movie in this movie, but otherwise it's kind of a, it's kind of a, I'll get to mine, but

[1:09:35] there's a lot of movie in the movie.

[1:09:37] What do you say, Stu?

[1:09:38] Yeah.

[1:09:39] I'm, I'm in the same boat.

[1:09:40] Uh, I mean, anytime I get to see a bunch of, uh, like a bunch of hot, dumb hunks, uh, I

[1:09:47] know the arm is like, it's a lot of fun.

[1:09:50] Then they all get murdered.

[1:09:51] It's great.

[1:09:52] Um, yeah, I mean, it's, it's slow and kind of boring, but also that's part of the charm

[1:09:57] and uh, I don't know, like.

[1:10:00] And then it gets crazy.

[1:10:01] Thumbs up.

[1:10:02] Yeah, I'm calling this a bad movie.

[1:10:06] At times it's a good, bad movie to me,

[1:10:07] but at times I found it just very,

[1:10:09] I didn't enjoy it as much as you guys did.

[1:10:10] I found it really boring a lot of the time,

[1:10:12] and I wanted it to get weirder and just more out there

[1:10:16] and more like, and sexier.

[1:10:18] Like Naked Lunch?

[1:10:21] I mean, yeah, exactly.

[1:10:22] Sexy like Naked Lunch.

[1:10:23] No, I mean.

[1:10:25] I mean, it's in the title, Lunch.

[1:10:29] Oh, that's the Simpsons when they go to see it.

[1:10:31] I can think of two things wrong with that title.

[1:10:35] Hey, Bart, we're gonna go see an R-rated movie,

[1:10:37] Bart and Fink.

[1:10:38] Bart and Fink.

[1:10:41] I wanted the movie to be like either sillier or sexier,

[1:10:45] and the movie was taking itself serious

[1:10:47] without being able to back it up with like real passion.

[1:10:50] And Ben Affleck is kind of a non-entity

[1:10:53] for a lot of the movie,

[1:10:55] which leaves Anna DeArmas kind of like high and dry,

[1:10:59] without someone to like play off of, you know?

[1:11:03] But, you know, it's not the worst movie in the world.

[1:11:05] It's just not a very good movie.

[1:11:07] And I wish there was more in it on the level of Ben Affleck

[1:11:12] gazing lovingly upon his snails,

[1:11:14] or Tracy Letts texting while driving

[1:11:17] and getting mad at all the things.

[1:11:19] I feel like if they had cast somebody

[1:11:21] that was less attractive as the Ben Affleck character,

[1:11:24] like.

[1:11:25] Well, this was something,

[1:11:26] this is an argument I was having with my wife,

[1:11:27] is that it feels like the part was written for someone,

[1:11:32] yeah, someone who is not as like movie star,

[1:11:36] handsome, or known to be like a movie star romantic lead,

[1:11:39] or an action lead than Ben Affleck,

[1:11:41] because then I believe.

[1:11:42] Like throw Paul Giamatti in that shit.

[1:11:43] He would have crushed it.

[1:11:44] Or you know what?

[1:11:47] We haven't seen Zach Woods in a movie like this before.

[1:11:49] Let's throw him in.

[1:11:50] But like somebody where I'm like,

[1:11:51] oh, I believe this is someone who like feels like he got,

[1:11:55] he's married to a woman who is in some ways out of his league

[1:11:59] and is willing to put up with her dallying

[1:12:01] because he doesn't want to lose her and,

[1:12:04] but doesn't like it.

[1:12:05] It makes him feel emasculated.

[1:12:06] Whereas Ben Affleck, I just, you know,

[1:12:09] at times I felt like he was,

[1:12:11] he's just not, it wasn't,

[1:12:13] it was too much of a matchup in terms of like,

[1:12:16] this is someone that's a movie star, you know?

[1:12:17] Yeah, I mean, I can see that point of view.

[1:12:19] I will stand up a little for Ben Affleck.

[1:12:21] I also don't buy Ben Affleck as like,

[1:12:22] I don't buy Ben Affleck as like

[1:12:24] a brilliant computer scientist

[1:12:25] who designed an amazing chip that he got rich off of.

[1:12:28] I will stand up for Ben Affleck and say that.

[1:12:30] I think that as he gets older and sadder,

[1:12:35] and I don't want him to be sad in his personal life.

[1:12:37] I don't want that Ben Affleck, I hope only-

[1:12:40] He's not an upswing dude.

[1:12:41] Only nice things for you.

[1:12:42] But as he gets older and sadder,

[1:12:43] he is a more interesting actor.

[1:12:45] And I liked him in this, I thought.

[1:12:48] That's true.

[1:12:48] But I kind of feel like this is being more insulting

[1:12:50] than I mean it to be.

[1:12:51] But I feel like George Clooney has the lock

[1:12:53] on like handsome, sad guy in movies.

[1:12:56] And Ben Affleck starts to feel kind of like

[1:12:57] the direct-to-video or direct-to-cable version

[1:13:00] of George Clooney.

[1:13:01] Man, I just watched Out of Sight the other day.

[1:13:03] What a fucking movie.

[1:13:04] Oh, well, that's a great movie, you know.

[1:13:05] They're great in it.

[1:13:08] Yeah, well, hey-

[1:13:09] Imagine that movie with Ben Affleck

[1:13:10] instead of George Clooney.

[1:13:11] It's gilly.

[1:13:12] Yeah.

[1:13:14] Okay.

[1:13:20] Hey, did grad school ruin your reading habits?

[1:13:23] Oh my God, all those books you had to read for grad school?

[1:13:26] Did becoming a parent destroy your ability

[1:13:28] to focus on a book?

[1:13:29] Did the pandemic tank the number of novels

[1:13:32] you can get through in a year?

[1:13:33] Ugh, that happened to everyone.

[1:13:35] And we're Reading Glasses, and we're here to help.

[1:13:39] We'll get you out of a book slump,

[1:13:40] dismantle all that weird reader guilt-

[1:13:43] Which we know you have a lot of,

[1:13:44] but most importantly, we'll help you fall back in love

[1:13:47] with reading.

[1:13:48] Reading Glasses, every Thursday on Maximum Fun.

[1:13:51] Congratulations, you've won a ticket

[1:13:54] to attend an exclusive opportunity

[1:13:57] in a relaxing environment with two lovers.

[1:13:59] Wow.

[1:14:00] Well, this sounds like a sort of proposition of sorts,

[1:14:03] but really it's an ad for our podcast.

[1:14:06] Wonderful.

[1:14:07] It's a show we do here on Maximum Fun

[1:14:09] where we talk about things that we like

[1:14:10] and things that we're into.

[1:14:12] I'm Rachel McElroy, and you just heard Griffin McElroy,

[1:14:15] and we are excited for you to join us

[1:14:16] as we talk about movies and music and books.

[1:14:19] Things like sneezing or the idea of rain.

[1:14:22] Can you get news or information you can use?

[1:14:26] Absolutely you cannot, because we're here to talk to you

[1:14:29] about pumpernickel bread.

[1:14:30] You can find new episodes on Wednesdays.

[1:14:32] So catch the wave.

[1:14:35] Hey, we've got sponsors.

[1:14:38] Don't say that we don't, because we do.

[1:14:40] So we do have ads.

[1:14:42] We do have ads and-

[1:14:43] And we do have sponsors.

[1:14:44] We do have sponsors.

[1:14:48] We do have sponsors, and one of them is Squarespace,

[1:14:53] which is, you know websites.

[1:14:55] You've seen them on the internet.

[1:14:57] You know what?

[1:14:58] They gotta be built.

[1:14:59] They gotta be constructive.

[1:14:59] They don't just come out of the air.

[1:15:01] And Squarespace is the all-in-one platform

[1:15:04] for building your brand and growing your business online.

[1:15:08] You can stand out with a beautiful website,

[1:15:11] engage with your audience, and sell anything.

[1:15:13] Your products, content you create,

[1:15:15] and even your time through Squarespace.

[1:15:19] And I actually, I made a website for myself.

[1:15:24] I think it's called danmccoywriter.com.

[1:15:26] I use Squarespace.

[1:15:28] Danmccoyrideordie.com?

[1:15:30] No, writer.

[1:15:32] Oh.

[1:15:33] My job is writing, not writing or dying.

[1:15:35] Can you change it?

[1:15:36] I could.

[1:15:38] Why don't one of you listeners

[1:15:40] can do danmccoyrideordie.com?

[1:15:43] And we'll see what happens.

[1:15:45] But now I'm scared to see what happens,

[1:15:50] to watch what happens live.

[1:15:52] The point is,

[1:15:53] It's because of Andy Cohen.

[1:15:54] I use Squarespace.

[1:15:56] I found it very easy to use.

[1:15:58] I put together a site I was happy with,

[1:16:00] you know, in the course of an afternoon.

[1:16:02] And it looks like I spent a lot more time on it than that.

[1:16:06] And so I heartily endorse Squarespace.

[1:16:11] You can display posts from your social profiles

[1:16:13] on your website.

[1:16:14] You can automatically push website content

[1:16:16] to your favorite social media channels

[1:16:18] so your followers can share it too.

[1:16:19] That makes life a lot easier.

[1:16:21] Sell your products on an online store,

[1:16:24] whether physical or digital,

[1:16:26] Squarespace has the tools you need to sell online.

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[1:16:35] Use that info to analyze which channels are most effective,

[1:16:38] improve your website and build a marketing strategy

[1:16:40] based on your top keywords

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[1:16:45] It sounds like a boon for smart marketing.

[1:16:49] So you can go to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial.

[1:16:54] And when you're ready to launch,

[1:16:55] use offer code flop, F-L-O-P

[1:16:59] to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[1:17:04] Now, Dan, I had an idea for a website

[1:17:06] and I was wondering if Squarespace could help me.

[1:17:07] It's called danmccoyrideordie.com.

[1:17:09] Okay, yeah.

[1:17:11] And it's just a way to get you to ride different things

[1:17:14] or you'll die.

[1:17:15] So it could be anything from a giant pig

[1:17:17] to a giant tractor, on top of a jumbo jet

[1:17:22] or maybe just like a big snake or a dolphin.

[1:17:26] So can Squarespace help me with setting up that website?

[1:17:29] It can, it's kind of scares me.

[1:17:32] I don't know about it.

[1:17:33] Although this sounds like a great like-

[1:17:35] Trying new things can be scary, Dan.

[1:17:36] Speed style movie where someone is,

[1:17:39] like it's called Ride or Die,

[1:17:41] where you have to ride various things

[1:17:43] or those things explode.

[1:17:44] Anyway.

[1:17:45] It's like Brewster's Millions.

[1:17:46] They're like, you have to, you can't use your feet

[1:17:49] for a whole day.

[1:17:49] Brewster's Millions?

[1:17:50] Brewster Cogburn?

[1:17:51] Yeah.

[1:17:52] It's, yeah, Brewster Cogburn's Millions.

[1:17:54] That's when John Wayne dies and he says,

[1:17:56] well, partner, if you can spend a million dollars in a week

[1:17:59] with nothing to show for it,

[1:18:01] then I'm gonna give you 30 more million dollars.

[1:18:04] That was Tom Brokaw as John Wayne.

[1:18:07] Okay.

[1:18:08] Oh, I love it.

[1:18:09] I love it when the stars come out.

[1:18:10] What other sponsors have we got?

[1:18:11] Hey, this podcast, The Flop House,

[1:18:14] is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[1:18:16] Now, if you're anything like me, you are going through it.

[1:18:20] Whether it's doom scrolling, staying up too late,

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[1:18:29] And I have to say, getting some regular therapy

[1:18:33] has been a really big help for me.

[1:18:36] It's helped me kind of sort through things

[1:18:38] and I've been seeing positive effects

[1:18:40] in basically every aspect of my life.

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[1:18:49] that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions

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[1:19:03] this might be a good way to dip your toe into that pool

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[1:19:27] That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash flop.

[1:19:34] Now, would BetterHelp help Dan to ride stuff

[1:19:37] that he might be afraid of riding?

[1:19:38] It'll certainly help him deal

[1:19:40] with why he's frightened of riding things.

[1:19:41] I'm guessing it's the death part.

[1:19:44] Yeah, yeah, probably the death part.

[1:19:46] Anyway, we have some Jumbotrons too.

[1:19:49] What's this all about?

[1:19:50] Let's open up the Jumbotron mailbag

[1:19:52] and see what people want to say.

[1:19:54] Well, here's the message.

[1:19:55] It's promotional and it goes like this.

[1:19:56] Bodega Box Office is a podcast about movies and the.

[1:20:00] Who make them with over a hundred episodes bodega box office has only scratched the surface of the rap film canon from classics like juice

[1:20:07] To new stuff like TI and Marvel's Ant-Man to weird shit like the movie where e40 and Big Daddy Kane fight vampire zombies

[1:20:13] We've got something for everyone bodega box office is available wherever you get your podcasts bonus question for the peaches

[1:20:20] Got a favorite rapper who acts?

[1:20:23] Absolutely. Her name's Debbie Harry

[1:20:25] Oh

[1:20:27] What's an early rap song I'll give it to you so I'm cool

[1:20:33] I'll technically give it to you

[1:20:35] Bodega box office comm or search bodega box office in your podcast

[1:20:39] I don't get it about you rappers. I was gonna say most stuff. Although these days he doesn't rap that much

[1:20:44] But okay, and you know me it's got to be cool as I star vanilla ice and now we've got another jumbotron

[1:20:51] It's a personal jumbotron

[1:20:52] this is for Graham and it's from

[1:20:55] Rachel and the message is if you are wondering if your sister wants to wish you a happy birthday as you become the answer to

[1:21:00] Life the universe and everything then the words of the dad from Totoro. Well, it looks that way to me

[1:21:05] Maybe if we are lucky the peaches will discuss how good the wrong guy is even if neither Shelly nor Rob were impressed by it

[1:21:12] And that's a nice birthday message. I like the wrong guy. It's got some very funny scenes

[1:21:17] It's not the one with the very little bit where he wakes up in the hospital and he like makes up. Yeah, that's great

[1:21:25] Yeah, that's a that's a funny movie

[1:21:28] Mr. Dave Foley. Um, I wanted to mention I have a I just want to mention also a personal

[1:21:33] This is almost like a personal jumbotron and Dan actually if people want if people want to purchase jumbotrons, where do they go to?

[1:21:39] they go to maximum fun org slash jumbotron and

[1:21:44] All the instructions are there they make it real easy for people

[1:21:48] Excellent. Here's a personal jumbotron for me

[1:21:50] My second maniac of New York series has now come to a close maniac of New York

[1:21:54] The Bronx is burning number four is on comic book store shelves now

[1:21:57] So if you're waiting for all the issues to come out to pick them up

[1:22:00] See if you can find them and go pick them up in comic stores now

[1:22:04] Is there anyone still alive in New York as the maniac left anybody alive? Oh, there's a lot of New York's a big city

[1:22:11] There's lots of people left alive. We'll see if they survive if there's a future series

[1:22:18] It'll have to become maniac of Newark

[1:22:22] Get on the train and go go over to go from New York Penn Station to Newark Penn

[1:22:27] Almost as good. Mmm, what's gonna happen? It's a massacre down at the NJ Pack

[1:22:33] Hey

[1:22:34] Here's the thing that we do. Yep. We get letters from listeners

[1:22:40] Listeners like you listening right now

[1:22:42] Here's the thing that we do

[1:22:44] We get letters from listeners

[1:22:47] Just a little thing that we do. Let's check our to-do list. There. It is right there getting letters

[1:22:54] Let's cross it off. What's after that take out the garbage

[1:22:58] We'll do that when the episodes done or maybe I'll do it now before I forget

[1:23:03] Let's pull this bag out of the larger garbage can and we tie it up. Oh, it's dripping. Put it outside

[1:23:09] Oh gross. Oh

[1:23:10] Disgusting. Oh the bag broke. Oh, there's garbage all over the floor. You know what? I'll clean this up later

[1:23:16] Let's get to the lips. This happens so infrequently now. It's almost almost a treat

[1:23:24] This is from

[1:23:26] Should I've done a sexier letters song for the sexy movie? Yes

[1:23:29] I don't think it's possible that you could have done a sexier one than that correct answer

[1:23:33] This is for Chris. This is from Chris lasting withheld. Oh, it's not for Chris

[1:23:39] Chris writes dear floppy boys. Yep. I recently watched a 2020 movie called The Marksman and

[1:23:46] It Liam Neeson helps a boy who crossed over the Mexican border after his mother was killed by the cartel because she had their money

[1:23:53] He has to help him get to his relatives while being chased by the cartel

[1:23:56] It's a serious movie and not a bad one either

[1:23:59] But one detail just kept bothering me and took me out of the story

[1:24:03] Liam Neeson's character is named Jim Henson. I kept miss

[1:24:09] Hoping I was mishearing his name, but it was repeated enough times that I'm sure it's right

[1:24:13] Then on I could only imagine Liam Neeson and Gonzo on a road trip to Chicago

[1:24:18] Trying to escape the Mexican cartel and shooting bad guys in the head

[1:24:22] I watch that movie

[1:24:24] Have you ever seen a movie like this a movie that had just one strange character name or some other detail like this?

[1:24:31] That takes you out of the movie. Also, which Muppet do you think could most easily avoid being hunted by the cartel?

[1:24:37] Thanks for making the show it keeps me laughing through the hard times stay floppy

[1:24:43] Well, I'll tell you who would have the hardest time to hide from the cartel is New Zealand

[1:24:47] Cuz he's just easy to find he's throwing fish all the time. You just follow the trail of fish. Mm-hmm

[1:24:52] Yeah, but they come back to him

[1:24:54] like

[1:24:56] Let me change my answer

[1:24:58] Okay, the easiest way he'd get away from that cartel New Zealand because they won't they can't but there's no trail of fish

[1:25:03] Smacking with fish I feel like Sam the LA would have a tough time because

[1:25:21] You won't you all remember you all remember every Muppet scene ends with Sam the LA coming on going you are not real cowboys

[1:25:26] That's not how we did it

[1:25:28] I

[1:25:31] Stop kissing each other stop it right now

[1:25:36] Real cowboys don't hang out with snouts and sing the Menominee song

[1:25:41] First name the Eagle

[1:25:45] Let's answer the real question, um, sure, I don't I like there's no I I am sure I there are definitely times when

[1:25:54] This happens specifically with names in movies, but well, there's I was gonna say that in the movie in the movie

[1:26:01] Nothing sacred, which is a very funny screwball comedy

[1:26:04] There's a character named Oliver Stone and his name gets mentioned a lot

[1:26:07] And so it's like obviously they weren't they did not know there was gonna be a famous director named

[1:26:12] Oh, I know you mentioned Homer Simpson in the past with was that day of the load the day of the Locust?

[1:26:17] Yeah day the Locust one of the main characters named Homer Simpson and he he's such a sad sad character

[1:26:22] And at times it's hard not to imagine Homer Simpson from The Simpsons in that role

[1:26:26] But he's not it doesn't he's not like a he's not like a loud dumb guy

[1:26:30] Speaking of the Muppets, of course, and it's a wonderful life

[1:26:33] They have the characters Ernie and Bert who like talk they're like cops

[1:26:37] Or at least one of them's a cop and they're like hanging out together their buddies

[1:26:40] And there's the urban legend that that inspired the names of of the Muppets. It's not true

[1:26:47] They're unrelated, but it does make it hard to watch it's wonderful life now without thinking of those Muppets

[1:26:54] Yeah, and playing the Star Wars Jedi Knight games and you're playing a character named Kyle. That seems weird Kyle

[1:27:01] Yeah, like a bad name for a Star Wars thing. Yeah, Kyle Katarn seems like a

[1:27:05] fucking Jedi

[1:27:07] Was weird that Kyle Katarn became a Jedi when I know him from the Dark Forces game and it seemed a little

[1:27:13] Convenient that this guy who before was just kind of a rebel soldier and that were like mission mercenary

[1:27:17] Whatever is now a Jedi Knight. Hmm interesting people want to do though. You don't want you want to play a Jedi

[1:27:22] You don't place just some chump. Yeah, I don't know that game

[1:27:26] I love that game Dark Forces and I especially liked that there's this one level where

[1:27:30] You're planting bombs and a giant a big robot comes out to kill you and I didn't know that you're supposed to defeat that robot

[1:27:37] And every time I played it when I was a teenager

[1:27:38] I just ran the hell out of the board and just went back through the entire level before the bombs went off and I won

[1:27:45] Oh, that's right to fight that robot. Let's just run away

[1:27:47] There's also a level in Dark Forces 2 Jedi Knight where you're on like a on like a ship that is slowly

[1:27:54] Crashing and the whole level like shifts a bunch. It's pretty cool. That's cool idea. You know, there's a great games

[1:27:59] I'm glad he's a Jedi. Anyway, Kyle great name for a Jedi. Yeah, and in Dark Forces 2 Jedi Knight

[1:28:03] It's technically a movie because it has live-action cutscenes

[1:28:07] I don't think that makes

[1:28:11] Technically

[1:28:13] Let's move on to the the next and final letter. This is from Rue last name withheld

[1:28:19] McClanahan

[1:28:21] That's well, it's spelled like Rue from

[1:28:24] Winnie the Pooh. Oh, that's who it is. Then. Yeah

[1:28:28] Dearest floppers. I apologize. I didn't hear the spelling when you said it. I

[1:28:33] Want Rue to get proper credit dear floppers

[1:28:36] I understand that I'm pretty late to respond here

[1:28:39] but some things are important enough that they need to be addressed no matter the delay and

[1:28:44] episode number

[1:28:46] 317 fellow listener Willie L

[1:28:50] parentheses Lohman who admittedly never lived in the city had some pretty negative things to say about the city of Topeka and

[1:28:57] The episode Dan chuckled about how mad listeners from Topeka must be well Elliot posited that the letter was a little uninformed

[1:29:04] Well someone who does in fact live in the city. Let me clear up some misconceptions. Oh great

[1:29:09] Elliot is completely off base this letter writer knew exactly what they were talking about. There is no good side of Topeka

[1:29:16] Dan was also wrong this assessment that Topeka listeners would be upset

[1:29:20] In fact, once the letter brought up the terrible city that I call home and proceeded to tear to shreds

[1:29:25] I was laughing as hard if not harder than Dan once this email is finished

[1:29:30] I'm going to figure out how to snag a soundbite of just a letter and send it to all my friends and family

[1:29:34] That are stuck here with me and we can have a good laugh together

[1:29:39] Stewart is the only one who was headed in the sort of right direction as is so often the case with Stewart

[1:29:44] He hypothesized that Topeka is where tapioca pudding is produced

[1:29:49] And there are a lot of food product factories in the area a good handful of them are pet food

[1:29:54] But one brand in particular does produce refrigerated desserts that are ostensibly for humans

[1:30:00] It's not tapioca, but rather, Reeser's Pistachio Delight.

[1:30:04] Quote, a unique dessert featuring nuts, pineapple,

[1:30:08] and marshmallows in a creamy whipped dressing.

[1:30:11] Picture attached so you can appreciate

[1:30:12] the uniqueness more fully.

[1:30:13] I'm putting it up to the-

[1:30:14] Let me see that.

[1:30:15] Let me see if it sounds-

[1:30:16] It's kind of like an ambrosia salad

[1:30:17] that's pistachio centered.

[1:30:20] And that's not Topeka, that's, or wait, tapioca?

[1:30:23] That's not tapioca.

[1:30:24] What did I say?

[1:30:26] I mean, it's from Topeka.

[1:30:27] It's not tapioca.

[1:30:28] Tapioca?

[1:30:29] Tapioca is the pudding, the thing that's in pudding.

[1:30:31] It's not-

[1:30:32] That's a place where people live?

[1:30:34] No, Topeka is the place-

[1:30:35] And Topeka is where they have the bodega.

[1:30:37] Oh, God.

[1:30:38] What did I say?

[1:30:38] For the acting vocal exercise.

[1:30:39] You said, uh, anyway, thanks so much for your time.

[1:30:44] It's all, I always enjoy listening,

[1:30:47] and it's helped me find some great good bad movies

[1:30:49] to make my brother watch with me.

[1:30:51] But even more importantly,

[1:30:53] it's wonderful that you're using your platform

[1:30:54] to share important truths with any possible travelers

[1:30:57] through the American Midwest.

[1:30:59] To paraphrase Willie L.,

[1:31:01] if you find yourself in Topeka,

[1:31:03] I recommend the following activities.

[1:31:05] Just keep driving until you reach Lawrence.

[1:31:08] Seriously, Rue, last name withheld, Topeka citizen.

[1:31:11] So that was an important-

[1:31:13] Wow, ripped from the headlines.

[1:31:14] Important public service announcement.

[1:31:17] I don't know why my fortune teller,

[1:31:19] when I went to see her,

[1:31:20] didn't predict that this year's Flop House

[1:31:22] would become the site for a battle

[1:31:24] between those who love and those who hate Topeka.

[1:31:28] Seems unlikely.

[1:31:29] Well, do you have hot takes or cold takes on Topeka?

[1:31:32] Let's call them Topeka takes or take Pekas

[1:31:35] right into the Flop House and tell us your take on Topeka,

[1:31:38] because that's apparently what we do now.

[1:31:40] Take a peek at Topeka takes.

[1:31:42] Tapioca.

[1:31:43] In fact, I'm going to introduce a motion.

[1:31:44] Introducing a motion, I know the meeting is over,

[1:31:46] but I'm reconvening the meeting.

[1:31:48] I'm going to introduce a motion at the beginning.

[1:31:49] We say, this is a podcast where we talk about

[1:31:51] how people feel about Topeka.

[1:31:53] Who would like to second that motion?

[1:31:55] I'd like to second.

[1:31:56] Oh, God.

[1:31:57] Okay, great.

[1:31:58] All in favor of adopting that as the new opening motto,

[1:32:00] say I.

[1:32:00] I.

[1:32:01] I.

[1:32:02] Okay.

[1:32:03] All against, say nay.

[1:32:05] Wow.

[1:32:06] You know what?

[1:32:06] I'm always going to lose,

[1:32:07] because there's a voting block here.

[1:32:09] You're always going to lose

[1:32:10] if you don't vote with the winners.

[1:32:12] It happens when you're on the wrong side of history, pal.

[1:32:14] Okay, voting is now closed.

[1:32:16] The motion has passed.

[1:32:17] The opening motto is now,

[1:32:18] welcome to Flop House,

[1:32:19] a podcast where we talk about

[1:32:20] what people think about Topeka.

[1:32:22] I am working for the good of the institution.

[1:32:27] You didn't even vote, Dan.

[1:32:29] Yeah.

[1:32:30] You threw your vote away.

[1:32:31] Yeah.

[1:32:32] You didn't even make a protest vote.

[1:32:32] Oh, it's a Congress move.

[1:32:33] Okay.

[1:32:34] Okay.

[1:32:35] So what do we do now, Dan?

[1:32:36] Now we're going to do recommendations

[1:32:39] of movies that we liked.

[1:32:41] I mean, you know, Stu and I liked this one.

[1:32:42] They even got all fucking horned up

[1:32:43] watching Deepwater,

[1:32:44] and you want to watch another movie.

[1:32:45] Watch one of these shits.

[1:32:46] So here's my recommendation.

[1:32:49] I actually made a few notes,

[1:32:50] because this is a little different.

[1:32:52] Oh, okay.

[1:32:53] So.

[1:32:54] I can't wait to find out what it is.

[1:32:56] Listeners have heard me reference

[1:33:00] that I do a bad movie online streaming thing

[1:33:07] with friends, some of whom internet friends,

[1:33:11] who I hadn't met in person.

[1:33:12] Yeah, it dictates our podcasting schedule.

[1:33:14] Every.

[1:33:16] No, that's different though.

[1:33:17] No, that's his trivia night.

[1:33:18] That's my trivia night.

[1:33:19] That's Dan's trivia night,

[1:33:20] which is sacrosanct and cannot be

[1:33:22] interrupted or moved.

[1:33:23] I mean, it all seems to have worked out fine,

[1:33:26] but anyway.

[1:33:27] So, no, I have a group that watches bad movies,

[1:33:31] and one of the members of this group,

[1:33:34] Lindsey Dinnenberg,

[1:33:37] directed a movie called Video Diary of a Lost Girl,

[1:33:40] and she was,

[1:33:43] I can't remember whether she lives in town already.

[1:33:45] I think she flew in.

[1:33:47] She, like, the co-writer definitely flew in.

[1:33:51] People from out of town were here for this screening

[1:33:54] at the Nighthawk Prospect Park.

[1:33:57] A bunch of people who are in this group

[1:33:59] who are in the New York area came out.

[1:34:01] I got to meet a lot of people for the first time in person,

[1:34:03] so it was nice.

[1:34:04] We're all there to support Lindsey,

[1:34:08] and this was being screened in large part

[1:34:11] because it was our,

[1:34:11] it's 10th anniversary of screening in New York City

[1:34:14] at the 92Y Tribeca years ago,

[1:34:17] where it was programmed by Christina Cacchioppo,

[1:34:20] who is our friend who used to program us

[1:34:25] at the 92Y Tribeca as well,

[1:34:27] and if you ever see, mostly Stew and me now,

[1:34:30] since Elliot's not in town, present movies,

[1:34:33] it's because Christina has asked us to come out.

[1:34:35] If you see somebody frustratedly trying to explain

[1:34:37] how to use a microphone to us,

[1:34:39] it's probably Christina.

[1:34:40] That's Christina, yeah.

[1:34:41] But somebody who has a look on her face

[1:34:45] like that she does not have one second

[1:34:48] for these shenanigans.

[1:34:50] She-

[1:34:50] Yeah, a look that says enough with the bits.

[1:34:53] We have a schedule to keep.

[1:34:54] Yeah, but she loved Video Diary of a Lost Girl

[1:34:57] when she saw it first 10 years ago.

[1:34:59] She programmed it at the Nighthawk recently.

[1:35:03] If you subscribe to Screen Slate,

[1:35:06] she did an interview with the director and co-writer,

[1:35:09] same person, Lindsey,

[1:35:11] and so you can look that up on Screen Slate

[1:35:15] if you're curious about it,

[1:35:16] but it's a horror romance.

[1:35:18] It's about a succubus.

[1:35:19] It's done this kind of like video collage sort of

[1:35:24] fake style if, you know, what's his face,

[1:35:28] Guy Maddin, instead of like drawing on old movies,

[1:35:31] was drawing on like straight to video.

[1:35:34] It feels kind of like Pee Wee Herman

[1:35:36] and Liquid Television collaborated

[1:35:37] on a remake of Liquid Sky.

[1:35:41] It's kind of like Forbidden Zone,

[1:35:43] but not Betty Boop cartoons, old horror movies.

[1:35:47] Anyway, if that gives you kind of an idea,

[1:35:50] it's a very unique style.

[1:35:51] There's a lot of clips online, including the trailer,

[1:35:54] if you want to look up Video Diary of a Lost Girl

[1:35:56] that would give an idea of the look of the movie.

[1:36:00] We all enjoyed it a heck of a lot,

[1:36:03] not just because, you know,

[1:36:04] this is someone that we've socialized with.

[1:36:06] It was a really entertaining, unique movie

[1:36:10] that does not have distribution currently.

[1:36:13] So I'm, for whatever it's worth,

[1:36:17] this podcast and my recommendation in particular,

[1:36:20] if anyone out there works for a distribution label,

[1:36:23] a curated streaming service,

[1:36:25] anything that could put this movie out,

[1:36:28] I would be happy to connect you with Lindsey.

[1:36:32] I couldn't find her website before this,

[1:36:34] but I can, or else I just point you at it,

[1:36:36] but if you write theflophousepodcast at gmail.com,

[1:36:40] I can connect you up with a subject line

[1:36:43] referencing Video Diary of a Lost Girl.

[1:36:47] She also, I wasn't able to get in touch with her

[1:36:50] before taping today, but there's also like a,

[1:36:56] what do you call it?

[1:36:57] A mailing list for if news comes out

[1:37:00] about where you can see it.

[1:37:01] So I will put that in the notes for this show

[1:37:05] once I get that information,

[1:37:07] but it's a very interesting movie.

[1:37:09] So that's my answer.

[1:37:11] I like that Dan's tipping his toe

[1:37:13] into activism a little bit, making a difference.

[1:37:15] Film activism.

[1:37:16] Film activism, factivism, just like John Oliver.

[1:37:19] Yeah, that's a lot of what,

[1:37:20] I think they're very similar people.

[1:37:24] I'm going to recommend-

[1:37:25] Dan does spend a lot of time yelling at fake people

[1:37:28] that he's created that just exist in one still image.

[1:37:31] Wow.

[1:37:34] Man, yeah.

[1:37:35] Game, set, match, Elliot Kalin.

[1:37:37] I guess that was a burn.

[1:37:38] I don't even know, it sounded descriptive to me.

[1:37:41] Just a descriptive comparison.

[1:37:43] But Stuart, you have a movie to recommend.

[1:37:44] I am going to recommend, I'm going to recommend a movie.

[1:37:46] I don't think there's a cause

[1:37:47] unless the cause is watching this movie.

[1:37:49] I'm going to stick with the trend of thrillers

[1:37:53] that have a slightly erotic angle.

[1:37:56] I'm going to recommend an animated movie

[1:37:58] called Perfect Blue, directed by Satoshi Kon.

[1:38:04] It is a movie from the 90s

[1:38:08] and it is about a young pop star

[1:38:10] who decides to give that up

[1:38:13] so that she can pursue a career in acting.

[1:38:16] But her fan base does not want her to,

[1:38:18] her agent does not want her to,

[1:38:20] and she kind of struggles with her decision.

[1:38:23] All the while, some mysterious murders

[1:38:27] seem to be occurring around her

[1:38:29] and she can't tell if she's to blame

[1:38:33] or involved in some way.

[1:38:35] It's gorgeously animated.

[1:38:37] It perfectly predicts how creepy dudes

[1:38:40] will use the internet to harass women.

[1:38:43] It's a great thriller and I recommend it.

[1:38:47] Perfect Blue.

[1:38:50] I'm going to recommend a movie

[1:38:51] that's kind of the opposite of a thriller.

[1:38:54] This is a movie that I mentioned in our last mini.

[1:38:58] But I was like, I think I might recommend this.

[1:39:00] And I'm going to, and it's called I Was a Simple Man

[1:39:02] and it's directed by Christopher Makoto Yogi

[1:39:05] and stars mostly not super well-known people,

[1:39:11] but Constance Wu is in it from many things.

[1:39:14] But it's a movie about an old man lives in Hawaii

[1:39:19] and he has, in many ways, kind of wasted his life.

[1:39:23] It's misspent.

[1:39:24] He has children and he has a very bad relationship

[1:39:27] with them.

[1:39:28] His wife, who is played by Constance Wu,

[1:39:31] Constance Wu died when they were relatively young

[1:39:34] and ever since then he's still lived in this kind of haze

[1:39:38] of kind of wasting himself out of grief.

[1:39:41] And this movie takes place kind of over the last week

[1:39:46] or few weeks of his life as he knows he is dying,

[1:39:49] his family knows he's dying,

[1:39:50] and they're all kind of processing that information

[1:39:53] in different kind of partly realistic

[1:39:56] and partly poetic ways

[1:39:58] and almost experiencing their memories.

[1:40:00] as if they're happening all around them at the same time

[1:40:02] and interacting with past people in their lives

[1:40:05] and the ghost or the memory of his long lost wife

[1:40:09] in the real time that they're living in right now.

[1:40:12] And it's a very like, it's a, I'll warn you ahead of time,

[1:40:15] it is a slow movie, it's a mostly very tranquil movie,

[1:40:19] but it's gorgeously beautiful

[1:40:21] and I found it really, really moving.

[1:40:23] And there was a sort of cumulative effect to it

[1:40:25] where it felt like the movie was kind of unfolding

[1:40:30] in its own kind of slow way

[1:40:32] and revealing different things to me

[1:40:34] if I was paying close attention to it.

[1:40:36] And there are some very almost surreal images in it

[1:40:40] and there's some very moving scenes in it

[1:40:43] and just seeing how people move

[1:40:46] through the end of their lives

[1:40:48] or experience the end of someone else's life.

[1:40:49] And I thought it was really great

[1:40:51] for people who love the Criterion Channel,

[1:40:52] it's on there right now,

[1:40:54] or I'm sure it's on DVD,

[1:40:55] came out last year in 2021

[1:40:58] and it's called, I Was a Simple Man.

[1:41:01] Sounds great.

[1:41:03] That's three recommendations, all thrillers, all.

[1:41:07] No, I mean.

[1:41:08] Super sexy.

[1:41:10] Again, it's kind of, for a movie about a man who's dying

[1:41:12] and there's a ghost in it, it is very much not a thriller,

[1:41:14] but.

[1:41:16] Hey guys, that brings us to the end of another episode

[1:41:20] of The Flophouse, which is the thing

[1:41:21] that you're listening to.

[1:41:22] Yep.

[1:41:23] How do you like my sentence constructions?

[1:41:25] I love it.

[1:41:26] Yeah, can't get enough.

[1:41:27] The sentence construction is less worrying

[1:41:29] than the delivery.

[1:41:30] It really feels like you're pushing real hard

[1:41:32] to get to the end of each of those sentences.

[1:41:34] If you have a moment, why not go to iTunes,

[1:41:36] leave us a review to help spread the word about the show.

[1:41:39] You know, tell people.

[1:41:40] Yeah, remember the good times.

[1:41:43] Focus on the positive.

[1:41:44] And remember, if you've got thoughts about Topeka,

[1:41:47] write to us, share them with us, tweet at us,

[1:41:49] that's what we're here for.

[1:41:50] Yeah, that's our new pivot.

[1:41:53] I wouldn't say that's what we're here for,

[1:41:54] but it's one of many things.

[1:41:57] That's why we're on this earth, Dan.

[1:41:59] That's our place in God's plan.

[1:42:00] A lot of people don't ever learn it,

[1:42:02] but now we know what ours is.

[1:42:03] Evangelize about Topeka not being good, apparently.

[1:42:07] If it is good.

[1:42:08] Yeah, I mean, other people might feel differently.

[1:42:10] Follow The Flophouse pod on Twitter.

[1:42:13] We're gonna have to do a live show in Topeka

[1:42:15] at some point, bring this to a head

[1:42:16] and find out for ourselves, do some fact finding.

[1:42:18] We're also, and we'll see whether we're welcomed

[1:42:20] at the train station or run out of town on the rail.

[1:42:24] Wait, so we're taking the train to Topeka?

[1:42:26] Because you're coming from New York.

[1:42:27] I'm coming from Los Angeles.

[1:42:29] I saw the Music Man recently, the revival,

[1:42:31] and I guess I just sort of am imagining,

[1:42:34] yeah, rolling into Topeka, you know,

[1:42:36] like we're in the opening number of the Music Man,

[1:42:40] talking about how he doesn't know the territory.

[1:42:42] The Flophouse podcast on Instagram

[1:42:44] is another place you can find us.

[1:42:46] Also, YouTube.com slash The Flophouse podcast.

[1:42:51] If you want merch, it's at Flophousepodcast.com.

[1:42:54] There's a merch tab there.

[1:42:56] We're a member of Maximum Fun.

[1:42:58] Go to MaximumFun.org to check out

[1:43:00] the other great podcasts on the network.

[1:43:02] And lastly, thank you to our producer, Alex Smith.

[1:43:06] He is at HowlDotty on Twitter.

[1:43:10] You probably don't know how to spell that,

[1:43:11] but if you Google it, I bet you'll get it.

[1:43:13] He's the best in the biz.

[1:43:15] See what he's up to.

[1:43:16] He's got a good band, a funny band,

[1:43:19] as well as our thing, and a podcast, a lot of stuff.

[1:43:22] Yeah, he's great.

[1:43:24] Anyway.

[1:43:25] Don't give the names of any of those things, Dan.

[1:43:27] We're not providing free advertising.

[1:43:29] Just hint enough that the audience needs to seek about it.

[1:43:31] I think he changed his podcast recently.

[1:43:33] Is this true?

[1:43:34] It was Fast Track.

[1:43:35] Now is it like Traxplosion, or?

[1:43:38] We're gonna find out when he writes us an angry text message.

[1:43:41] He says, thanks for the support, not.

[1:43:44] Thanks for the plug, kinda.

[1:43:46] Thanks for the advertisement, confused emoji.

[1:43:54] I mean, if you go to at HowlDotty on Twitter,

[1:43:57] as I suggested, all of this will be laid forth before you.

[1:44:02] It's like Easter eggs in a movie.

[1:44:05] You want your audience to really have to put the legwork in.

[1:44:07] If the audience works for it a little bit,

[1:44:09] then they'll appreciate it more, you know?

[1:44:11] Yeah, that's true.

[1:44:13] I get it, dude, you're cool.

[1:44:14] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:44:15] Guys, guys, real quick, Dan's cool, okay?

[1:44:17] Chill out.

[1:44:18] Hell yeah, he's real cool.

[1:44:19] Chill the fuck out.

[1:44:20] This is why whenever my kids have a question,

[1:44:21] I only answer in the form of a rebus.

[1:44:23] Yeah.

[1:44:23] So they gotta earn that answer.

[1:44:25] If anyone ever tries the Socratic method on me,

[1:44:27] I am so angry right away.

[1:44:29] I'm like, just tell me.

[1:44:30] Do not put it in the form of a question, please.

[1:44:33] Anyway.

[1:44:34] Don't try to engage me, just deliver information to me.

[1:44:36] Just give me the information and I will do my best.

[1:44:38] Just pour the information into my ears or eyes.

[1:44:41] You have like a function of a Montebank.

[1:44:45] Hey, thanks for listening.

[1:44:46] For The Flop House, I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:44:48] Oh boy, it's me, Stuart Wellington.

[1:44:51] Apologizing from the bottom of my heart, it's Elliot Kalin.

[1:44:54] And boom, nailed it, best episode.

[1:45:03] I remember the first time I came in contact

[1:45:05] with the phrase pre-melt.

[1:45:07] I'm glad you finished that sentence.

[1:45:09] It was an ad for like porn in the back

[1:45:11] of an old National Lampoon to have the phrase

[1:45:14] cream your jeans.

[1:45:16] I feel like that's a very Dan situation,

[1:45:18] to be perusing the porn ads in the back

[1:45:21] of an old Harvard Lampoon.

[1:45:22] Whereas mine would probably be like googling

[1:45:25] like Myrna Loy's stag film to see if that existed.

[1:45:28] Yeah.

[1:45:29] Oh boy, we'll make it cream the jeans.

[1:45:31] Me was finding a discarded dirty magazine

[1:45:33] by the train tracks out in the woods.

[1:45:37] Sorry, cream your dungarees, dungarees.

[1:45:39] Yeah, yeah.

[1:45:40] Well, people didn't even wear dungarees

[1:45:41] that much then unless they were farmers.

[1:45:43] So it'd be kind of like, what, whacking your slacks?

[1:45:45] Okay.

[1:45:46] Yep.

[1:45:47] Let's, and now we're.

[1:45:48] Well, come on, boys.

[1:45:50] This will make you wowser in your trousers.

[1:45:54] Maximumfun.org, comedy and culture.

[1:45:57] Artist owned, audience supported.

Ep. #366 - Deep Water

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