Ep. #368 - The War with Grandpa, with Griffin McElroy

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss the war with grandpa.

Elliott Kalan

[0:04] That's right.

[0:05] It's time to rise up against the boomers.

[0:07] Do it.

[0:08] I mean, they would be my parents, but they would be my kids, grandparents.

[0:11] Time to overthrow them, make this country right again, a place only for young people

[0:14] like me, a 40-year-old man.

[0:30] Hey, everyone.

Dan McCoy

[0:43] Welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:44] I'm Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[0:46] Ooh, thanks for passing it to me, Dan.

[0:48] It's me, Stuart Wellington.

[0:49] And over to you, Elliot.

[0:50] I'll take that ball in my hands.

[0:52] I'm Elliot Kalin, and I'm super excited about who I'm passing the ball to next.

[0:56] And go!

S4

[0:59] Oh, you had to throw it so far over the internet, but yet it still hit me with such concussive

[1:07] force that it took the wind out of me.

[1:09] Hi, it's Griffin McElroy.

[1:10] Hello.

[1:11] It's Griffin.

Dan McCoy

[1:12] Like the Pokemon, we have collected them all when it comes to McElroy boys now.

[1:18] But-

[1:19] I was an elusive catch, eh?

Elliott Kalan

[1:22] You had to really use your master ball.

[1:23] I know Team Rocket had you for a while, and that made it harder to find.

Dan McCoy

[1:26] That's true.

[1:27] That's true.

[1:28] Oh, man.

[1:28] You're so stylish.

[1:29] This is all stuff I understand as a 43-year-old man.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32] Dan is way more into Digimon and Yu-Gi-Oh than Pokemon.

Dan McCoy

[1:36] Fair, yeah.

[1:37] Hey, everyone.

[1:38] Before we get too deep into Pokemon, it's the MaxFunDrive.

[1:41] Which is the subject of the podcast.

[1:44] It's week two of MaxFunDrive 2022.

[1:47] It's the time that we ask you, our listeners, to put your money where your ears are and then take that money out of your ears and use it to support the shows you love.

[1:56] Now, we're going to get into it a bit more later on.

[1:59] And I know it can be tempting to hit the skip button on some of those things, but you're going to want to listen because there's going to be exciting information about bonus content.

[2:06] I think we've got some great stuff this year and swag that contributing members can get and some heartfelt pleas from us, your podcast pals, TM.

[2:17] But we'll get to all that later.

Elliott Kalan

[2:19] Wait, Dan.

[2:20] If they want to go join right now, where would they go do that?

[2:23] Well, that was literally the next sentence.

Dan McCoy

[2:26] Thank you for interrupting me to remind me what's in my notes right here.

[2:29] You seem to be signaling that you are moving on to the next segment.

[2:33] Nope.

[2:33] I said we'll get to all that later, but for now.

[2:37] See, that's the transition.

[2:38] That's the link that you're missing.

[2:39] You're right.

Elliott Kalan

[2:40] I should have waited to find out if there was a butt coming.

[2:42] Guys.

Dan McCoy

[2:42] Knowing Dan McCoy, I should have known there was a butt coming.

[2:44] Do people skip parts of our podcast?

[2:46] For now.

[2:47] I just want to say.

[2:48] I never have.

[2:49] Never.

[2:50] Not a second.

[2:51] You can join at MaximumFun.org slash join.

[2:55] And I encourage you to go there.

[2:58] Check it out.

[3:00] Join if you have the means.

[3:04] But for now, back to the show, which is what we do here.

[3:08] And our special guest, Griffin.

[3:10] Now, Griffin.

[3:12] Hello.

[3:13] Hi.

Elliott Kalan

[3:14] We're doing.

[3:14] For anyone listening who doesn't know Griffin, you're wrong.

[3:17] Of course you know Griffin.

[3:18] He's much more famous than the host of this show.

S4

[3:21] It would be wild.

[3:22] I do.

[3:23] It would be pretty.

[3:24] Even I'll admit it's pretty wild.

[3:26] But that's just because we've been on the network together for about a million years.

Dan McCoy

[3:31] Yeah, for a long time.

S4

[3:31] So, like, at some point, you have to have accidentally clicked on both of our shows at this point.

[3:37] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[3:37] Especially since there's literally been crossovers in the past.

[3:41] Yeah, right.

[3:41] Yeah.

[3:41] It's unthinkable.

[3:43] But, yeah.

[3:45] Griffin, a well-known podcaster for his own shows.

[3:50] A wonderful.

Stuart Wellington

[3:50] 30 under 30 recipient.

Dan McCoy

[3:53] My brother, my brother, and me.

[3:54] The adventure zone.

S4

[3:56] I saw a tweet today.

[3:58] Not to derail things instantly.

[3:59] Is it about it?

[4:00] I did that.

[4:01] Yeah.

[4:02] Twitter got sold?

[4:03] Is it told?

[4:04] Oh, no.

[4:05] Somebody tweeted that 30, like, things changed for me when I realized 30 under 30 bought their

[4:11] way into that position.

[4:13] And I felt scandalized by that.

[4:15] Because I did.

[4:16] I.

[4:17] First of all, where would I get that kind of money to bribe Forbes magazine?

[4:22] Yeah.

[4:23] I mean, they're a magazine.

Stuart Wellington

[4:24] They have all the money.

[4:26] There's all this money in print magazines.

Dan McCoy

[4:27] I mean, the word famous in your description has podcaster after it.

[4:32] So, I assume you don't have Forbes bribing money.

[4:35] Like, that's the.

S4

[4:36] Yes.

[4:37] Precisely.

[4:38] No, yes.

[4:38] It should all be, you know, tech bros and, like, I don't know, people who own, like, diamond

[4:44] mines all over the globe.

Dan McCoy

[4:48] But.

[4:48] Jeffrey Wright?

[4:49] The place I was trying to steer this podcast.

[4:52] Well, first of all, let me explain the premise to those coming in for the first time.

[4:56] Well, as.

[4:56] Very confusing.

[4:57] Very confusing.

[4:57] What?

Elliott Kalan

[4:58] Dan, say what the premise is, and then I'm going to correct it.

[5:02] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[5:03] Well, I know what Elliot's going to do, but I won't.

[5:05] I will yes and rather than no.

[5:07] Thank you.

[5:08] This is a podcast.

[5:10] We watch a movie that was a critical or a commercial flop, and then we talk about it.

[5:15] Elliot?

Elliott Kalan

[5:15] I thought you might say that.

[5:16] I just want to remind listeners a couple episodes ago before Max Fund Drive started, we took a

[5:20] vote on air and we officially changed the premise of the show to the place where people air

[5:25] their different opinions about Topeka, Kansas.

[5:28] Yeah.

[5:28] So, write them in.

[5:31] I don't have one.

[5:32] Oh, boy.

[5:33] Well, I feel not.

[5:34] Kind of a bummer.

[5:35] I feel like that should have come up in the pre-interview.

[5:38] I've got to talk to our guest booker about this.

Dan McCoy

[5:39] I think just sort of a general lack of interest or knowledge is a take.

S4

[5:46] I don't know that I've ever been to any city, though, where I've left it and been like,

[5:49] that whole city sucks shit, and anybody who lives there is an idiot.

[5:54] You know what I mean?

[5:54] And I don't think Topeka would be the first one to sort of cross that threshold.

[5:58] That's very fair of you.

[6:00] Maybe that's the touring performer side of me because I can't say like, thanks for fucking

[6:06] nothing, Topeka.

Dan McCoy

[6:07] I'm out of here, losers.

[6:11] But so, yeah, we're a movie podcast.

[6:13] And yeah, the stars aligned to get you on the show for this one because listeners to your

[6:19] own show know that there was a show where you abandoned the entire premise of your show to

[6:25] just talk about the war with Grandpa sight unseen.

S4

[6:30] Yeah.

[6:30] And so...

[6:32] We've...

[6:32] And it was such a...

[6:33] It's one of those...

[6:34] You all know when you're on a tear.

[6:37] Yeah.

[6:38] When you're pitching a perfect game in a podcast episode and you're like, is this it?

[6:41] Is this the moment?

[6:42] And that was...

[6:43] That...

[6:43] Just the stars aligned and it worked out for us that we got to do a whole episode about

[6:48] one joke.

[6:48] And it was the easiest day of work in my life because you just get to make the one joke over

[6:53] and over again.

[6:54] And you can just fucking coast on it and do whatever else you want.

[6:58] So that was pretty miraculous.

[7:00] And you know, we've had a few things approach that.

[7:02] Man vs. B on Netflix.

[7:03] It looked like we were going to go maybe at least half an episode talking about that,

[7:08] breaking that down one joke.

[7:10] But yeah, War with Grandpa is it.

[7:12] That's the gold standard for me, baby.

Dan McCoy

[7:13] Well, and the beauty is you share that with War with Grandpa.

[7:16] There's basically one joke that just gets sort of extended.

S4

[7:22] Yeah.

[7:23] There's...

[7:24] There's a...

[7:24] There's...

[7:25] Man, I'm so excited.

[7:26] Are we in it?

[7:27] Yeah.

[7:28] We're going to start talking about it.

[7:29] Yeah.

S4

[7:29] Let's start talking about the movie.

[7:29] So Stuart's going to take us through the...

Stuart Wellington

[7:30] Before we can talk about the plot of the movie, we have to get through about

[7:33] 10 hours of production logos.

[7:35] Yeah.

[7:35] Now, Stuart...

[7:36] That are in a...

[7:37] They're in the font that you know, like, this is not going to be.

S4

[7:40] I've never seen a great film open with the font treatment of these...

Stuart Wellington

[7:44] Yeah.

[7:44] These logos and titles.

[7:45] The credits...

[7:46] Yeah, the credits hit and you're like, oh, they went with silly credits.

[7:49] Oh, no.

[7:49] Like, this is like goofy credits.

Elliott Kalan

[7:52] Silly credits...

[7:53] And yet, for some reason, they also decided that this movie would have a heavy, like,

[7:58] hip-hop sound.

[7:59] Yeah.

[8:00] Yes.

[8:00] It seems incredibly inappropriate to a movie with, I think, three black people in it who

[8:05] all play service workers in different places.

Stuart Wellington

[8:08] I have seen more professional titles in a Brazzers production is what I'm trying to say.

Elliott Kalan

[8:16] Now, I will say in their defense, Brazzers, they seem to have invested in a high-quality

[8:22] title computer.

[8:23] That's true.

S4

[8:24] It may as well have been comic sans.

[8:27] And then you...

[8:28] And then you know.

Stuart Wellington

[8:29] That's when.

[8:30] So, the movie opens, of course, like you'd imagine it would, on the first day of sixth

[8:35] grade for our young heroes who are lamenting the shift in power dynamics from fifth to sixth

[8:40] grade.

[8:41] Yeah.

S4

[8:42] Not this time.

[8:43] This is the first time.

[8:44] Grandpa's lying gut shot on a mound.

Dan McCoy

[8:47] His ghost says, I suppose you're wondering how I got here.

Elliott Kalan

[8:52] War is hell, especially with your own grandson.

[8:55] Let me explain.

[8:56] Record scratch.

Stuart Wellington

[8:57] Yeah.

[8:57] So, we're in, what, junior high, high school?

[9:00] I don't remember.

[9:01] Sixth grade.

[9:02] Sixth grade.

[9:02] Yeah, it's like middle school.

Elliott Kalan

[9:03] It's the first year of middle school.

Stuart Wellington

[9:04] Yeah.

[9:05] It's a bummer.

[9:06] So, we cut to, yeah, like they're sad, like there's bullies, there's an evil older sister,

[9:13] et cetera.

[9:14] You know the drill.

[9:15] It is very loosely sketched out.

[9:19] Yeah.

S4

[9:19] This is a very antagonistic film.

[9:22] There's a lot of bad people in sort of all sectors of this war.

Stuart Wellington

[9:27] The thing about it is that the bullies and the evil older sister who does embarrassing

[9:32] things only seem, like it's not like they're embarrassing them in front of other kids in

[9:36] the school.

[9:37] Like they're just embarrassing them in front of their friends.

[9:39] And I'm like, I wouldn't care.

[9:41] I don't care what my friends know about me.

Elliott Kalan

[9:43] So, here's my theory.

[9:44] Well, Griffin, you talk and I'll give my theory.

S4

[9:47] I was just going to say that the bully and the girl who bullies the younger, her younger

[9:52] brother and the younger brother and so many characters in this film, Christmas girl,

[9:57] like there's so many characters in the film whose sole role is to walk on and just say,

[10:00] I'm a bully and then walk off of the screen.

Elliott Kalan

[10:04] There's definitely a lack of internal life in most of the characters and external life.

[10:08] Yes.

[10:09] It's like a Saturday.

[10:10] Sister shows up, you know.

Dan McCoy

[10:11] It's like a Saturday night live sketch that's based on, you know, celebrity personalities.

[10:15] They just come on, say what their deal is, and then they go.

S4

[10:19] Yeah.

[10:20] There's not much evolution for bully or sister.

[10:25] Sister only walks on and is like, here's a diaper.

[10:28] It's yours, idiot.

Stuart Wellington

[10:29] Bye.

[10:30] And they don't even give the bully a second catchphrase.

[10:33] He has one that he uses over and over only to eventually be hoisted on his own petard.

Elliott Kalan

[10:39] Yes.

[10:39] You have a clever turnaround.

[10:40] Here's my theory about it.

[10:41] This is, I think, maybe, this school is being run on the Bayside High model where, as in

[10:46] Saved by the Bell, there were seven kids in the whole grade and they were famous and everybody

[10:50] knew them.

[10:51] And all the other kids were barely, they were just there hired by the school to be extras

[10:56] for the adventures of these six or seven kids.

[10:58] I think it's like that.

[10:59] It's a new thing.

[11:00] There's only four sixth graders.

Stuart Wellington

[11:02] At one point, Bayside buries a fucking time capsule and it's only filled with like six

[11:08] students' memories.

[11:09] What the fuck?

Elliott Kalan

[11:11] Yeah.

[11:11] It's just amazing.

[11:12] It's amazing that they were able to bury that time capsule considering in another episode,

[11:16] it was made clear that there is oil in the ground, in the pond behind the school.

S4

[11:21] They skipped all the scenes where Bayside forms a democratic republic and chooses six representatives

[11:29] to send their legacy forward through times.

Dan McCoy

[11:32] I was imagining a similar backstory, but where those six have something on Mr. Belding.

[11:39] No, it's possible.

Elliott Kalan

[11:41] Well, it's clear that Mr. Belding is an imposter.

[11:44] He committed a crime and appeared at that school on the day that the real Mr. Belding was supposed

[11:48] to show up and put that man's life.

Dan McCoy

[11:49] This is sort of a Drillbit Taylor sort of situation, you think, with these kids?

[11:52] To be honest, never seen Drillbit Taylor?

[11:54] Don't really know.

[11:55] He's describing the boy on the TV show Banshee.

S4

[11:58] Oh, that's a shame because this movie has big Drillbit Taylor energy.

[12:02] Okay, fair, fair.

[12:03] Big Drillbit Taylor energy.

Elliott Kalan

[12:04] Do you guys ever see the Saved by the Bell where there's going to be a new school song

[12:07] and the main characters decide they don't like it, so they write a new one.

[12:10] And the new school song is all about how they're graduating now and they're going to miss

[12:14] all the parties and all the dances.

[12:17] And I was like, there are students who are still going to be at that school for years.

[12:19] Like, this is the song?

[12:21] The song is just about what our heroes are feeling right now at this moment?

[12:24] It was ridiculous.

[12:26] Only six students at the school.

Stuart Wellington

[12:28] Okay, guys.

[12:29] So, Grandpa has to live at home because he can't use a self-checkout machine.

[12:34] And then he overreacts and causes a riot at the grocery store.

Elliott Kalan

[12:37] That self-checks out, yeah.

S4

[12:39] Yeah.

[12:40] I understand that this film was not engineered for my specific tastes, unlike the rest of media.

[12:49] But are there people whose suspension of disbelief can reach far enough to cover how hard a

[12:56] time he has with the self-checkout?

[12:58] If anything, I find a bag of pizza rolls that are wet that have been sitting in your cart

[13:05] for a while.

[13:06] Sure, yeah.

[13:06] And you scan the barcode.

[13:08] You can miss by three inches with the barcode all wet and wrinkled up and it'll still get

[13:13] that shit.

[13:13] Yeah.

[13:14] I feel like self-scanning technology has come so far and this film did not acknowledge

[13:19] that fact whatsoever.

[13:20] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[13:20] And he seemed just so generally baffled that it's like, I mean, UPC code technology, like

[13:26] that's like from like the 60s or 70s.

[13:28] So like, it's just weird.

Stuart Wellington

[13:29] But later on, his inability to scan, he uses to pick up like flirt with Jane Seymour.

[13:35] So maybe the whole time it's a bit.

[13:36] Oh, it was a long con.

[13:38] I don't.

[13:38] I mean, he didn't need a, he's Robbie D.

[13:40] He didn't need a gimmick.

[13:42] Yeah.

[13:42] I mean, she's hanging for it.

[13:44] He can swoop.

[13:45] He's fine.

[13:46] And I mean, it'd be one thing if it was like, while he's using the self-checkout, it keeps

[13:51] thinking that he has a bag or that he's removing items when he's not.

[13:55] Like, that happens to me all the time.

Elliott Kalan

[13:56] That happens.

[13:57] I could say, maybe this is, maybe this is an unofficial, I mean, he's a character who

[14:00] builds houses and here's how I'm going to spin this.

[14:03] This is an unofficial sequel to The Irishman.

[14:05] And when they say he builds houses, really, they mean he paints houses, which means he's

[14:09] an assassin.

[14:09] And he's been in jail for a long time and he's like Bertie in Shawshank.

[14:14] He gets out and he's like, oh, things move faster here now.

[14:17] They got robots that count the numbers for you when you want to buy things.

[14:21] I don't know how to talk to these computers.

Dan McCoy

[14:25] Or say the word.

Elliott Kalan

[14:28] I don't know how to use the words of this future time.

Stuart Wellington

[14:31] So his daughter Sally, played by Uma Thurman, convinces him to-

[14:34] In a surprising casting.

[14:36] I was very surprised to see Uma Thurman in this movie.

Elliott Kalan

[14:38] This was a weird thing where like, you know, I was lamenting that all that Jennifer Garner

Dan McCoy

[14:42] can get is mom rolls for the last movie that we watched.

[14:47] And pizza rolls.

[14:48] This one, I was kind of like, oh, it's nice to see Uma Thurman get to play kind of like

[14:53] a normal person for once.

[14:54] Yeah, I kind of thought the same thing.

Stuart Wellington

[14:56] She's a normal person who becomes increasingly unhinged.

Dan McCoy

[14:59] She does seem very unhinged about her daughter's dating life, which I never understood.

[15:04] But we'll get there.

S4

[15:05] I feel like there was another- I feel like there were a couple other movies happening

[15:09] at the same time of this movie in the background of the movie we saw.

Elliott Kalan

[15:13] Well, this is- so this movie is set up in a- it feels very much like a Disney sitcom,

[15:17] but like in movie form, where like there's all these little characters who have their little

[15:21] arcs and B-plots and C-plots.

[15:23] And whereas in this way, I think it is a better movie than Being the Ricardos, which is also

[15:30] a sitcom stretched out to movie length.

[15:32] But they didn't really have fully- here I felt that the- it felt more like sitcoms, storylines

[15:38] that had endings and things like that.

S4

[15:40] But anyway-

[15:41] It felt like a bunch of scenes.

[15:43] I feel like I watched- I definitely watched a bunch of scenes today.

[15:46] And there were characters and dialogue in each one, and props.

Elliott Kalan

[15:49] It is funny that- and we'll get to it.

[15:51] Like, there's a couple times where you're like, oh, I guess the war is over now.

[15:54] Oh, no.

[15:54] Okay.

[15:55] Still continuing.

[15:56] 20 minutes left.

Stuart Wellington

[15:57] Well, we'll get there.

[15:58] So, yeah.

[15:59] So he's forced- Grandpa's forced to abandon the home that he built with his own two hands,

[16:04] like a real American.

[16:05] And he has to move into his grandson's, I'm assuming, jizz-encrusted bedroom.

Elliott Kalan

[16:12] I mean, he's in sixth grade, so yeah, it's the beginnings of it.

[16:15] I don't know if it's fully encrusted, but-

Stuart Wellington

[16:17] It's implied.

[16:18] Yeah.

[16:19] So the grandson, in this case, Peter, has to move into the attic, and he is not happy about it.

[16:27] Let's look at our dramatic persona real quick.

Dan McCoy

[16:30] I would like to say that part of the reason Peter's unhappy about moving into the attic

[16:35] is, despite the fact that there appears to be no particular, like, ticking clock on

[16:41] De Niro having to make this move, they move him in while Peter's stuff, like, seemingly

[16:47] is still in his old room, and the attic is completely unfinished.

[16:53] Right.

[16:54] He's filled with, also, bats and rats.

[16:56] Yes.

S4

[16:57] It is like he is moving into Baba Yaga's hut.

[17:01] Like, he does not, this is not a space that any person would have in a home without having

[17:07] to place, like, phone calls to the city immediately.

[17:11] It does feel like there should be a bubbling cauldron full of frogs in there, too.

Stuart Wellington

[17:14] Yes, exactly.

[17:16] But on the other hand, I don't know about you guys, but if I, when I was a kid, if somebody

[17:20] was like, hey, you gotta go move into this cool attic, I'd have been down.

Elliott Kalan

[17:25] Yeah.

[17:25] My first thought was, yeah, finally, you get to move to the attic?

[17:29] Fantastic.

[17:30] Go for it.

[17:30] Yeah.

[17:30] Enjoy that.

S4

[17:32] No, it doesn't.

[17:32] You know Kevin McAllister was probably pumped to get some, some, some J.O. time.

Dan McCoy

[17:37] So, that's what the attic space.

[17:39] Yeah.

[17:39] It implies, like, the greater difficulty.

[17:42] Put on the old Black and Walt movie and just crank it.

[17:44] Greater difficulty to get to the room.

[17:46] You know, like, there's an exponential growth in privacy that, yeah, he's not really calculating,

[17:52] I think.

[17:52] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[17:53] I mean, yeah, I just don't get it.

[17:56] Whatever.

[17:56] You know, maybe, maybe this is one of the things that the movie can convince me of.

Dan McCoy

[18:00] Look, I'm gonna tip my hand early and say that I'm on Grandpa's side through most of this

[18:07] movie.

[18:08] Wow, Team Grandpa, okay.

[18:09] I think this kid's a little shit.

[18:11] Team Grandpa is one fighter.

[18:12] And the thing is, like, it's very hard for the movie to do that, considering that Robert

[18:16] De Niro is an elderly man and theoretically should know better than this child.

[18:21] But the child seems...

[18:23] The child knows no restraint.

[18:24] Such a bad shit.

[18:25] The child...

[18:26] Yeah.

[18:27] Anyway.

Stuart Wellington

[18:27] I was looking up on IMDb and the child actor, can I make fun of his name, Dan?

[18:31] It's something like Oakley Fegibidit or something like...

[18:35] It's something like Oak Fegley.

Elliott Kalan

[18:36] That's hilarious.

[18:37] I guess you can make fun of his name because he didn't give himself that name, I assume.

[18:41] I assume his parents did.

[18:42] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[18:43] Well, I'm making fun of his parents, okay?

Elliott Kalan

[18:45] So, our Dramatis Personae is...

[18:47] He was also in the new version of Pete's Dragon.

[18:49] So, does he only play characters named Pete?

[18:51] Mm-hmm.

[18:52] It's possible.

[18:53] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[18:54] That's obvious.

[18:55] So, yep.

[18:55] Once again, our Dramatis Personae, Sally is the mom.

[18:59] Okay.

[18:59] Arthur, played by Rob Riggle, is the dad.

[19:01] And every time he uses a computer...

Elliott Kalan

[19:02] This is the first of the two people.

[19:04] First of the two people who have...

[19:05] In this movie that I've worked with, personally, I know.

[19:06] That's an easy one.

[19:07] That's an easy guess.

[19:08] That's an easy daily show guy.

[19:10] But the other one...

[19:10] I'm going to see if you can guess who the other person in the movie is that I've worked with

[19:13] when they come up.

[19:14] Cool.

[19:16] You won't.

[19:16] We got...

[19:17] Cheech Marin.

[19:18] Oh, no.

[19:18] Cheech Marin.

[19:19] I wish I'd have nothing but questions about what it was like to be a hyena on the set

[19:23] of The Lion King.

[19:25] On the set?

[19:27] Yeah.

[19:28] What was it like getting into that hyena costume?

Stuart Wellington

[19:32] Sure.

[19:33] Mia is the eldest daughter who's got boy problems.

[19:36] She has two problems.

[19:38] The problem is her mom is the one who's here boy.

[19:39] Well, not really.

[19:39] I mean, her boy problem is just that she has a boyfriend.

Dan McCoy

[19:41] She has success.

[19:42] Yeah.

[19:42] I was going to ask you...

[19:43] Like, look, I had a very hard time keeping my mind on what was happening in the War with

[19:49] Grandpa film that evaporates as it moves past you.

[19:53] There's not a lot of movie there.

[19:54] There's not a lot of movie there.

[19:56] Was there ever a real reason why this was a bad boyfriend or is it just typical sitcom

[20:01] parents panicking?

[20:03] He seemed lovely.

[20:04] He seemed really nice.

Elliott Kalan

[20:05] I think at the end he brings flowers to her grandfather in the hospital or just goes to visit her

[20:11] grandfather in the hospital.

[20:11] And Uma Thurman is like, no, get out of here.

[20:14] It's like, that's it.

[20:14] No, that's a keeper.

Stuart Wellington

[20:15] I would say the worst thing about him is that every time her mom walks into the room, he

[20:19] like stands up and looks guilty.

[20:21] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[20:21] He does stand up as if he is pulling his pants up in the same motion.

[20:24] But there's nothing wrong other than not wanting their little girl to cross that threshold

[20:30] into womanhood to God.

[20:32] The terminus est, if you will.

[20:34] Now, being the father of boys, I, of course, want them to hurdle through that threshold.

[20:39] And this is a constant battle of wills between the parents of girls and the parents of boys.

[20:45] That's the war with mom and dad is what that is.

Stuart Wellington

[20:49] Ellie, did you work with Jane Seymour?

[20:52] No, I did not work with Jane Seymour.

[20:53] That would be so, ma'am.

[20:54] All right.

[20:55] Well, carry on.

[20:56] And then finally, we have Jenny is the youngest daughter who's this Christmas-obsessed little

[21:01] urchin.

[21:02] Yeah.

[21:03] Peter's friends encourage him to go to war with grandpa for his bedroom.

[21:07] And we're all, I guess, along for the ride.

Elliott Kalan

[21:10] That's usually how it is with a movie.

[21:11] We are usually along for the ride with whatever happens.

S4

[21:15] Drive my car?

[21:15] During this one, I said, no, don't do it.

[21:18] And the actor looked up at the screen.

[21:20] He's like, you're right.

[21:21] Cooler heads prevail.

[21:21] You know what?

[21:22] I should not go to war with my grandpa.

Stuart Wellington

[21:24] He is aged.

[21:25] He is an aged widower.

[21:27] What was I thinking?

[21:28] Sleeping in an attic is pretty cool.

[21:30] You know what?

[21:31] Who apparently, whose genitalia upon gazing on it causes like horror.

[21:37] Will turn you to stone.

Dan McCoy

[21:38] The switch happens so fast too.

[21:40] Because like the kid, like, I mean, the kid is whiny about it.

[21:44] But at first, like, it seems like everything's cool.

[21:47] And like grandpa's not happy to be there either.

[21:49] Grandpa does not want to be.

[21:50] He just, he lost his wife.

[21:52] Yeah, exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[21:53] It's unclear when he lost his wife.

[21:55] It's unclear how long ago that was.

Stuart Wellington

[21:58] Yeah, but they should have been driving that.

[22:00] They should have had a scene, right?

[22:01] They should have had like a scene where she gets hit by a car or something.

Elliott Kalan

[22:04] Well, it's just the picture that he looks at of her is she looks very young.

[22:08] And so I was like, is this someone that he's lived without for a long time?

[22:12] Or has he been on his own for a short amount of time?

[22:14] It's Robbie D, baby.

[22:15] You know he is.

[22:16] I'm sorry.

[22:17] He is.

Dan McCoy

[22:18] I'm suddenly at least 20 years younger than him.

[22:22] I think we get older.

[22:23] Yeah.

[22:23] I'm suddenly laughing very hard at the idea of Stuart self-funding a prequel to the war with grandpa.

[22:32] So there could be a scene of grandma being hit by a car.

Elliott Kalan

[22:37] It's called the war with, before the war with grandma, colon, the death of grandma.

Dan McCoy

[22:42] Yeah.

[22:42] It's like, look, there were too many unanswered questions and now I fixed the movie.

[22:47] It explains a lot.

Elliott Kalan

[22:47] It's like how I met your mother.

[22:49] You keep thinking this is how grandma's going to die.

[22:51] And then she doesn't until the next time.

[22:53] Oh, yeah.

[22:54] Yeah.

S4

[22:55] They should just put in the intro to Up, man.

[22:58] That shit gives me every time.

[22:59] Yeah, yeah.

[23:00] Just show me a grandma and grandpa where the grandma dies.

[23:04] And then show me your movie.

[23:06] And I'll already be in the zone.

Stuart Wellington

[23:08] You know what I mean?

[23:09] I mean, they already have those cool, like, anime-looking credits.

[23:12] Just have it say, remember Up, that happened.

[23:16] Or you're like, I got you.

Dan McCoy

[23:17] Or you know what?

[23:18] We could just watch Up.

[23:20] No.

S4

[23:20] You don't say that because then nobody watches War with Grandpa.

[23:23] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[23:24] Yeah.

[23:24] You don't talk a lot about movie mashups.

[23:26] But that would be dope.

Elliott Kalan

[23:28] That would be the War with Grandpa Up mashup.

[23:30] I was trying to push a mashup called Terminator 5 Short Circuit 3.

[23:35] And I couldn't get it off the ground.

Dan McCoy

[23:38] What if the War with Grandpa started, though, and, like, it ran, like, through, like, you know, half a reel.

[23:45] And then Robert De Niro stopped, turned to the camera, and said, look, that was just for the FBI.

[23:50] Like, we're going to show you Up.

[23:54] I read the screenplay for this.

[23:57] This is not a project you want to watch.

[23:59] We did you a solid.

[24:00] We're going to just sit here and watch Up again.

S4

[24:03] We did not get permission from Disney.

[24:05] Please be cool about this, okay?

[24:08] Yeah.

[24:08] This is substitute teacher rules.

[24:10] We're going to put on a good movie right now.

[24:11] You all cannot tell my boss.

[24:12] Just don't tell your parents.

Elliott Kalan

[24:14] Don't tell the teacher when she comes back.

[24:15] But we're going to watch the 7-Up series instead of what they had.

Stuart Wellington

[24:20] So, Peter is mulling over this idea of going to war with Grandpa.

[24:26] He, as we mentioned, gets chased by a bat.

[24:29] A mouse eats through his electrical cord.

[24:31] And he discovers a very large wet spot on his pillow.

[24:34] And I'm like, I think you're used to that stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[24:37] I think you know where that came from.

[24:38] Now, do you think, what if he saw the bat and he goes,

[24:40] huh, grandpas are a superstitious and cowardly lot.

[24:43] I will dress as a bat.

[24:44] And then the rest of the movie, he's the same movie,

[24:46] but he's dressed as a bat the whole time.

Stuart Wellington

[24:48] That would have been an improvement.

[24:49] So, he issues a declaration of war written on a piece of paper

[24:52] with pretty cool penmanship.

[24:55] It's trapper keeper level writing.

[24:58] Grandpa reads it and is like, what the fuck?

S4

[25:00] He also signs it, we can't, he signs it secret warrior.

[25:04] And that's not like set up in any way, like that nickname.

[25:09] It's just, and seeing that was, gave me the biggest douche chills,

[25:14] I think, ever.

[25:16] Even though it was a fictional character doing it,

[25:18] the idea of someone signing a letter as the secret warrior

[25:21] just really sent a chill up my spot.

[25:23] I feel like when I was in sixth grade,

Elliott Kalan

[25:25] I would have come up with a way cooler nickname.

[25:27] Well, it's, you know, it's a short step

[25:29] from this declaration of war against his grandpa

[25:30] to his YouTube videos about how we got to march on the Capitol.

[25:33] because they're stealing our freedoms.

[25:35] And it's all, and all these, all these effeminate woke men

[25:38] are destroying our soul, the soul of our nation.

[25:40] You're like, oh, don't do that secret warrior, grandpa.

Stuart Wellington

[25:44] So, we get some scenes.

[25:46] This is one of many scenes where grandpa has trouble

[25:49] handling technology.

[25:51] He just can't understand an iPad.

[25:54] Let's see, there's an older sister.

[25:59] Established, sure.

[26:00] Okay.

[26:01] There's a scene where Rob Riggle's at work using his computer,

[26:04] and I can only assume he's visiting AshleyMadison.com.

Dan McCoy

[26:08] He just gives off that vibe, you know?

[26:10] Now, there was a whole sort of, like, side plot

[26:15] about Rob Riggle's job

Elliott Kalan

[26:19] that I assume must have had some payoff

[26:21] in some version of the movie, but did not.

[26:23] You'd think it would.

[26:24] So, he's an architect who designs big box stores,

[26:27] and he's very sad.

[26:28] Yeah.

[26:28] And later on, he tells grandpa,

[26:31] the titular grandpa that Peter is at war with,

[26:34] he tells him, oh, yeah, I'm going to enter this contest

[26:35] to design the addition to the new library.

[26:38] And that, yeah, you never find out.

[26:40] That's it.

[26:40] It's like the cutting edge.

[26:41] You never find out if he wins or not.

[26:42] Like, it's...

[26:43] And it's the most heartbreaking way

S4

[26:46] they could have told that story.

[26:48] You see this man's terrible, terrible, soulless life

[26:52] that he has at, like, at home and at work.

[26:57] Yeah.

[26:57] Like, they definitely cut out a scene

[26:59] that is one hour long of him just sitting in his car

[27:02] in the driveway.

[27:04] Oh, yeah.

[27:04] Just kind of staring into the middle distance.

[27:06] Yeah.

[27:06] And then they show him, here's my dream.

[27:09] Yeah.

[27:09] But then, like, we don't...

[27:11] That dream is just fuel for the war on grandpa.

[27:13] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[27:14] There's got to be...

[27:15] There was a scene, probably,

[27:16] of him sitting in his car

[27:18] eating a singular hot dog for lunch.

Elliott Kalan

[27:21] I mean, knowing Rob Riggle,

[27:22] he's probably sitting there

[27:23] singing along to, like,

[27:24] the best of Kansas

[27:25] or something like that, you know.

[27:26] We get it.

Stuart Wellington

[27:27] We know Rob Riggle.

Elliott Kalan

[27:29] It's cool.

[27:29] Yeah.

[27:29] But the...

[27:30] I mean, I do know him,

[27:31] but here's what I was going to say.

[27:34] Fargo, the Coen Brothers film,

[27:35] it's a beautiful piece of work.

[27:37] It's, I think, their masterpiece.

[27:38] It's a fairly bleak movie.

[27:40] There's a lot of darkness to it.

[27:41] Even that movie tells you

[27:42] whether the husband won

[27:43] his duck painting postage stamp contest.

[27:46] The war with grandpa

[27:47] just leaves Rob Riggle

[27:48] hanging in the lurch.

[27:49] Nobody knows.

Dan McCoy

[27:51] Sure.

[27:52] It's just the scene...

[27:52] Roding his contest here.

[27:54] Is this the Walmart scene

[27:56] or Kmart?

[27:56] The Walmart-Kmart mix-up scene?

[27:58] So this scene also,

[28:00] like, I forget which way it goes,

[28:02] which thing he's supposed to be doing,

[28:04] but he's like...

[28:05] It doesn't matter.

[28:06] Yeah, he's supposed to be doing Walmart,

[28:08] but it's Kmart or vice versa.

[28:10] And then he starts sort of, like,

[28:11] monologuing to his boss

[28:13] about how, like,

[28:15] his life is stressful right now

[28:17] because his father-in-law

[28:18] moved in with him.

[28:19] And she sort of, like,

[28:20] rolls her eyes in the background.

[28:22] She just walks away.

[28:23] She walks.

[28:23] She's, like,

Stuart Wellington

[28:24] immediately uninterested.

Dan McCoy

[28:25] And I...

[28:26] On the one hand,

[28:28] that's a rude way

[28:29] to end a conversation.

[28:30] On the other hand,

[28:32] the fact that we're supposed

[28:32] to sympathize with Rob Riggle

[28:34] Will's character here

[28:35] where it's just like,

[28:36] yeah, it's a pretty big fuck-up

[28:37] if you think it's supposed

[28:38] to be Walmart,

[28:39] but it's Kmart,

[28:40] and that's what you're working on.

[28:41] Yeah, you should lose your...

S4

[28:42] That's a pretty,

[28:43] I would imagine,

[28:44] major account.

[28:46] Yeah.

[28:47] It's the biggest company

[28:49] on Earth.

[28:49] I mean, Walmart is enormous,

[28:51] and Kmart is going out of business,

Dan McCoy

[28:52] so why are they doing work

[28:53] for Kmart?

[28:54] I get that four of the letters

[28:56] are the same,

[28:57] but still.

[28:58] Are you designing

Stuart Wellington

[28:59] Kmart's sepulcher

[29:00] or something?

[29:04] Okay, guys,

[29:05] so now we're into the good stuff.

[29:06] Oh, you know what?

[29:07] I was doing this for Martin Mall

[29:08] all this time.

[29:09] Sorry, boss.

Elliott Kalan

[29:11] I get my Marts mixed up.

Stuart Wellington

[29:13] Guys, this next scene

[29:14] is when things start getting sweet,

[29:15] because, of course,

[29:16] that's when Grandpa

[29:17] goes to hang out

[29:18] with his friend Jerry and Danny.

[29:20] Oh, yeah.

[29:21] Hell, yeah.

[29:22] Christopher Walken

[29:22] living his best life

[29:23] saying Zoomer-type shit.

[29:26] Then they go for a walk together,

[29:28] and that means we get

[29:29] Christopher Walken,

[29:30] Bobby D,

[29:30] and Cheech Marin

[29:31] just walking around.

[29:32] Yeah.

S4

[29:33] Yep.

[29:33] Best part of the movie,

[29:34] because you just imagine

[29:35] that you're right there with them.

[29:36] I'm on a virtual reality headset

[29:38] that put me hanging out

[29:39] with those three old men.

[29:40] Love it.

Dan McCoy

[29:40] I agree that between

[29:41] the three of them

[29:43] and Oma Thurman

[29:45] and Rob Rickle

[29:46] that there's a certain charm

[29:47] to this movie,

[29:48] which is just like...

[29:48] And Jane Seymour.

[29:49] Oh, Jane Seymour.

[29:50] Oh, seeing these people show up,

[29:51] I'm like,

[29:51] oh, it's nice to see these faces.

[29:53] They don't do anything,

[29:55] but it's nice to see them.

S4

[29:56] I had this thought experiment

[29:58] because maybe my brain

[29:59] only works in podcast segments now

[30:01] where I,

[30:03] looking at the four of them,

[30:05] I tried to figure out

[30:06] which one I'd rather hang out with

[30:07] for an hour.

[30:08] And it was like,

[30:09] and when you're having that debate

[30:11] and it's a hard one to settle on,

[30:13] that's a good cast right there,

[30:15] baby.

[30:15] You can't say no to that.

[30:16] And I'm usually...

[30:17] Where do you all,

[30:18] where did you land

[30:19] in the,

[30:19] between Cheech Marin,

[30:22] Robert De Niro,

[30:23] and Jane Seymour?

[30:24] Who would you rather hang out with

[30:25] just for an hour?

Stuart Wellington

[30:26] Oh, boy, it's so hard.

[30:27] For like...

[30:27] Right?

[30:28] Wait, am I hosting a podcast

[30:29] and like,

[30:30] they're my guests?

[30:31] No, no, this is a casual...

S4

[30:33] Just spending time.

[30:33] Is this a one-time meeting

[30:35] or are we friends?

[30:36] You just finished,

[30:37] you're staying at a ski resort

[30:39] and you just,

[30:40] and you haven't done it in a while

[30:41] and you just had like a day,

[30:43] you fell down the ice a bunch.

[30:44] Oh, yeah, Dan, you've done that.

[30:45] You're sore

[30:45] and you sit,

[30:46] you sit down in the lodge

[30:47] next to the fire

[30:48] and then just

[30:50] up sidles this person

[30:51] in another chair

[30:52] and you're like,

[30:52] you're, holy shit,

[30:53] you're...

Dan McCoy

[30:54] I'm gonna pick Walken.

[30:58] Definitely Walken.

[30:59] I think my heart says Walken.

[31:01] Like, I know that like,

[31:02] look, I appreciate

[31:03] that he's a great actor.

[31:05] Many people think

[31:06] the best of his generation.

[31:08] De Niro

[31:08] is probably number four

[31:11] with a bullet

[31:12] just because I know

[31:13] that he's kind of

[31:13] a tassish and grumpy man.

Elliott Kalan

[31:15] He's a standoffish,

[31:16] quiet guy.

[31:16] He's not gonna open

[31:17] the conversation.

[31:18] Whereas Christopher Walken

[31:19] is gonna ask you,

[31:20] hey, how'd you do today?

[31:21] What's going on?

[31:22] Where'd you get those shoes?

[31:24] Hey, do you get

[31:24] your hair cut like that?

[31:26] Do you do it yourself

[31:26] or do you go somewhere for that?

[31:28] He's like Joe Biden.

[31:28] He's just gonna ask you

[31:29] every question

[31:30] in the history of the world

[31:30] and he's probably gonna laugh

[31:32] at everything you say

[31:32] but not in a mean way

[31:33] and like a like,

[31:34] oh, hey, yeah,

[31:35] I like that.

[31:35] That's good.

[31:36] Tell me another one.

[31:37] Tell me another tale.

S4

[31:38] I'm Cheech all day.

[31:39] I feel like

Elliott Kalan

[31:41] that's gonna be a good time.

S4

[31:43] That's gonna be a fun hour.

[31:45] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[31:46] And I'm gonna say,

[31:47] unfortunately,

[31:47] I can't,

[31:48] I don't know if I could do,

[31:49] have Jane Seymour there

[31:50] because like,

[31:51] You would be too nervous.

[31:52] I cannot hang around people

[31:54] that have given me teenage boners.

Elliott Kalan

[31:56] See, that's why,

[31:57] that's why I would choose Jane Seymour

[31:58] because I feel like

[31:59] that's information

[32:00] she'd really want to know.

[32:01] No, she wouldn't.

[32:02] No.

[32:02] I think she would say no to that.

[32:04] Okay, maybe then

[32:05] I won't tell her that.

[32:05] No.

[32:06] I'll just keep that

[32:06] as my secret.

[32:07] Well, then every,

[32:07] every bit of the conversation

[32:09] would be that much more special

[32:10] to me and spicy

[32:11] because she doesn't know

[32:12] my little secret.

[32:12] Oh, wow.

[32:13] Oh, man.

[32:14] Elliot's a nasty boy.

[32:16] Oh, dear Lord.

[32:17] Now, here's the thing.

[32:19] I usually don't like

[32:20] old people say

[32:21] young people things comedy.

[32:23] I'm not a fan of any comedy

[32:23] where the joke is,

[32:24] I didn't expect that person

[32:25] to have that come out

[32:26] of their mouth

[32:26] unless it's vomit

[32:28] in Stand By Me,

[32:29] in which case,

[32:29] hilarious.

[32:30] What about when a granny raps?

[32:33] Nope, not a fan of that.

[32:34] That's good.

Stuart Wellington

[32:35] What about when a butler

[32:37] uses hood slang?

[32:38] No, not a fan.

Elliott Kalan

[32:39] Don't like that.

[32:41] Or when a biker turns out

[32:42] to be a sensitive artistic soul.

[32:44] Not a fan.

[32:45] Now, I want to say again,

[32:47] let me, actually,

[32:47] let me reach,

[32:48] I'm just going to say

[32:48] words coming out

[32:49] of people's mouths

[32:49] because I do like it

[32:50] when unexpected things

[32:51] come out of people's mouths

[32:51] in the movie The Hidden

[32:52] when that big kind of

[32:53] larva alien comes out

[32:55] of people's mouths.

[32:55] But not so much

Stuart Wellington

[32:56] in Jason Goes to Hell.

Elliott Kalan

[32:58] No, didn't like that as much.

[32:59] So in,

[33:00] but Christopher Walken,

[33:01] I shouldn't like him

[33:02] saying kind of like

[33:04] kid slang,

[33:05] but he just seems to be

[33:06] getting so much joy

[33:07] out of doing it.

[33:08] He's so giddy

[33:09] with every line he says.

[33:10] Did you like his

Dan McCoy

[33:11] stunt double

[33:12] zooming around

[33:13] on like a hoverboard?

[33:15] Wait, wait, what?

Elliott Kalan

[33:16] I figured,

[33:17] sorry to break it to you

[33:18] this way, Stu.

S4

[33:19] Wait, he wasn't doing

[33:20] his own stunts?

[33:22] Stuart, Stuart,

[33:23] it would have been

[33:24] in the news.

Stuart Wellington

[33:27] But you would have

[33:28] heard of it.

[33:29] I was trying to check

[33:30] the credits

[33:31] to see if he was

[33:32] listening to having

[33:32] a stunt double,

[33:33] but I got distracted

[33:34] by all the bloops

[33:35] in the music video

[33:36] they played.

[33:37] Yeah.

[33:38] Okay, so

[33:40] Peter starts to play

[33:41] a series of mean

[33:42] pranks on Grandpa

[33:43] to try and urge

[33:44] him into this war.

[33:46] The first of which

[33:47] I would argue

S4

[33:47] is maybe the most

[33:49] horrific.

[33:50] Just the most

[33:50] sort of like

[33:51] psychologically challenging.

Stuart Wellington

[33:53] What, with the

[33:53] little car

[33:54] and the music?

[33:56] Oh, I was going

[33:57] to say the marbles.

[33:58] I thought the marbles

[33:58] was the first shot

[34:00] across the bow.

[34:00] Yeah, that's the true

[34:01] initiation where

[34:03] Robert De Niro

[34:05] after explaining

[34:06] crank to war.

[34:07] After he explains

[34:08] to his granddaughter

[34:09] in a very sad way

[34:11] about being retired,

[34:14] he then talks about

[34:15] this marble collection

[34:16] he has and how

[34:17] meaningful it is

[34:18] and like he goes

[34:19] on and on

[34:20] and I'm like,

[34:20] oh man,

[34:21] they're going way

[34:21] too into these marbles.

[34:22] Something bad's

[34:23] going to happen.

[34:24] Of course,

[34:24] that's right.

[34:24] It's like anytime

Elliott Kalan

[34:25] you see someone

[34:26] talking to their

[34:26] family on Top Chef,

[34:27] you know they're

[34:27] getting kicked off

[34:28] that episode.

[34:29] Absolutely.

[34:29] It's my birthday

[34:30] today, Gonzo.

[34:31] I just miss my baby

[34:33] so much.

[34:33] Well, don't worry,

[34:34] you're going to see

[34:34] him tomorrow.

Dan McCoy

[34:37] Anyway, I'm going

[34:38] to make these scallops.

Elliott Kalan

[34:41] Should be easy.

[34:42] Okay.

[34:42] I don't think

[34:44] I'll get kicked off.

[34:44] I guess I'll make

[34:45] a, I'll do a dessert

[34:46] risotto.

[34:46] Don't do it.

[34:47] No.

[34:48] No, please.

Stuart Wellington

[34:51] Okay, so yeah,

[34:52] he spills these

[34:53] precious marbles

[34:54] all over the ground

[34:55] and also falls

[34:56] and hurts himself,

[34:57] which as an older man,

[34:59] I know that

[34:59] falling down sucks.

Elliott Kalan

[35:01] Well, even as,

[35:02] even as someone

[35:03] in their 40s,

[35:03] it looks very painful.

[35:05] So for Robert De Niro,

[35:05] who's roughly

[35:06] in his hundreds,

[35:07] it must have been

[35:07] terrifying.

[35:08] Again, no stunt double.

S4

[35:10] Yeah.

[35:10] I think it was when

[35:11] my, I think

[35:13] when my oldest son

[35:15] was three or four

[35:16] and wanted to

[35:18] learn how to do

[35:19] a somersault

[35:20] and he was like,

[35:21] show me how to do it.

[35:22] And I was like,

[35:22] okay.

[35:23] And I got,

[35:23] I assumed the position

[35:24] and then I realized

[35:25] that my body

[35:26] wouldn't allow me

[35:27] to do it

[35:27] because it thought

[35:28] it would hurt itself

[35:29] that I realized

[35:30] like Pratt Falls,

[35:32] that would,

[35:33] that you could,

[35:34] you could die.

Stuart Wellington

[35:35] Robert,

[35:35] you could die

[35:36] very easy.

[35:37] Yeah.

[35:38] The,

[35:39] yeah,

[35:39] I feel like

[35:40] that reminds me

[35:40] when,

[35:41] when Charlene

[35:42] works with her trainer

[35:43] and her trainer

[35:44] shows her like,

[35:45] I want you to do

[35:46] this hard exercise.

[35:48] Charlene likes

[35:49] to be like,

[35:49] I don't get it.

[35:50] Can you show me again?

[35:51] And she makes you

[35:52] do it over and over.

[35:53] Okay.

[35:54] So,

[35:54] yeah.

[35:56] So horrible prank.

[35:58] So at this point,

[35:59] this means war.

[36:00] That's right.

[36:01] The war with grandpa.

[36:02] So they have to,

[36:03] they have to draft

[36:04] rules of engagement.

[36:05] They sit down

[36:05] and come up

[36:06] with a list of rules,

[36:07] which is only two things.

[36:08] And they omit

[36:09] a lot of actual crimes.

[36:11] Like,

[36:11] yeah.

[36:12] In this war with grandpa,

[36:13] it can get seriously

[36:14] fucked up.

[36:15] Luckily,

[36:15] spoiler alert,

[36:16] it doesn't.

[36:18] So,

[36:19] now what's their position

Dan McCoy

[36:21] on dogs pranking?

[36:24] What's their position

[36:24] on dogs pranking

[36:25] in this war?

Stuart Wellington

[36:27] Wait,

[36:28] dogs pranking?

Dan McCoy

[36:29] Yeah,

[36:29] is there anything

[36:29] in the rule book

[36:30] that says a dog?

[36:30] That is a specific answer

[36:31] that Dan's looking for.

Stuart Wellington

[36:32] There's no rule

[36:33] a dog can play

[36:35] all the basketball

[36:36] in this war.

[36:37] A game that matches

Elliott Kalan

[36:38] wish that joke

[36:39] went off perfectly.

[36:41] Yeah,

[36:41] well,

[36:42] between

[36:43] talking at the same time

Dan McCoy

[36:46] as Elliot

[36:47] and Stuart

[36:48] not understanding

[36:49] what I was going for,

[36:50] it was classic flop house.

[36:52] Okay,

[36:53] and you bring it up

Stuart Wellington

[36:54] makes me feel really bad.

[36:55] So,

[36:56] go to maximumfun.org

[36:57] slash join

[36:58] for more of those

Elliott Kalan

[36:59] perfectly calibrated zingers.

Stuart Wellington

[37:01] I feel like

[37:02] if people like

[37:02] perfectly calibrated zingers,

[37:04] they're not listening

[37:04] to our podcast.

[37:06] Fair point,

[37:06] fair point.

[37:07] So,

[37:07] let me turn on

Dan McCoy

[37:08] those sloppy boys,

[37:09] they say.

Elliott Kalan

[37:10] Let's go to the slob house.

Stuart Wellington

[37:13] Speaking of

[37:14] perfectly timed

[37:15] zingers and pranks,

[37:16] we got

[37:17] grandpa's record

[37:18] gets sped up

[37:19] and then shot out

[37:20] the window.

[37:20] Uh-oh.

[37:21] I don't even know

[37:22] how he did that.

[37:24] You would need

[37:25] an advanced

[37:25] engineering degree

[37:27] in order to swing that.

[37:28] Because what he does

[37:28] is it starts to play

[37:30] at normal speed.

[37:31] So,

[37:31] he's like,

[37:32] oh,

[37:32] yeah,

[37:32] I'm into this.

[37:33] Not so fast.

[37:35] I mean,

[37:35] well,

[37:36] actually,

[37:36] the opposite.

[37:36] It goes very fast

[37:37] and goes out the window.

[37:38] It's not so slow.

S4

[37:39] He activates

[37:40] the Arduinos

[37:41] that he has

[37:42] installed

[37:43] and wired

[37:43] into the

[37:44] light switch

Elliott Kalan

[37:45] to set light.

[37:47] They honestly

[37:47] should have,

[37:48] they should have

[37:48] cut to Peter

[37:49] just concentrating

[37:50] so hard

[37:51] using his mind

[37:52] to make it

[37:53] spin faster

[37:54] and faster.

[37:55] Yeah,

[37:55] yeah.

[37:56] He,

[37:56] uh,

[37:57] he summons

[37:58] Star Platinum

[37:58] for the Firestarter

[37:59] remake.

Stuart Wellington

[38:01] His,

[38:02] uh,

[38:03] oh,

[38:03] and then,

[38:03] of course,

[38:03] my favorite

[38:04] prank in yours,

[38:05] he swaps out

[38:06] his shaving cream

[38:07] with,

[38:07] uh,

[38:08] like,

[38:08] fast,

[38:09] fast drying

[38:10] sealant.

[38:11] Fast drying

[38:12] foam sealant.

[38:13] Which,

[38:13] I don't know,

[38:14] I don't know

[38:14] about you guys.

[38:15] I've used this

[38:15] stuff a lot,

[38:16] mainly to plug

[38:17] up,

[38:17] uh,

[38:18] holes,

[38:18] uh,

[38:19] so that the health

[38:19] department doesn't

[38:20] give me,

[38:21] uh,

[38:21] doesn't give me.

[38:21] Yeah,

S4

[38:22] what else,

[38:22] what else is one

[38:23] to do with foam

[38:24] sealant other

Stuart Wellington

[38:25] than plug up

[38:25] holes?

[38:26] It's called

[38:27] sealant.

[38:28] Yeah,

[38:28] you're right.

[38:29] I'm just saying

[38:29] that I'm,

[38:30] I'm using it a lot.

[38:31] I don't know

[38:31] if you guys.

Elliott Kalan

[38:32] I know,

[38:32] I don't.

[38:32] You're not just

[38:33] going around

[38:33] spraying it on

[38:34] bugs and then

[38:35] listening to them

[38:36] dive.

[38:36] And I feel like,

Stuart Wellington

[38:37] now I feel like

[38:39] if all of a sudden

[38:40] my ability to see

[38:42] has been taken

[38:43] from me,

[38:43] like last minute,

[38:44] like Zeus gets

[38:45] mad at me and

[38:45] just takes my

[38:46] eyeballs away.

[38:47] I know,

[38:48] and I'm in the

[38:49] basement of my

[38:49] bar with foam

[38:50] sealant in one

[38:51] hand and

[38:52] shaving cream

[38:53] in the other.

[38:53] I feel like I

[38:54] would know the

[38:55] difference.

S4

[38:56] Yeah,

[38:57] there's got to be

[38:58] a difference in

[38:59] viscosity and

[39:01] several other

[39:02] sort of parameters.

[39:03] Now,

S4

[39:03] to be fair to

Elliott Kalan

[39:04] Robert De Niro's

[39:05] character,

[39:06] he,

[39:06] you know,

[39:07] maybe he doesn't

[39:08] have a lot of

[39:08] experience with

[39:09] foam sealant.

[39:09] He is only,

[39:10] as the movie has

[39:11] told us many times,

[39:12] a man who worked

[39:13] in home construction

[39:14] and built

[39:14] for his entire

[39:16] career.

[39:17] Is he a general

[39:17] contractor?

[39:19] Is he an architect?

[39:20] What's going on

[39:20] here?

[39:21] What do you think?

[39:21] I think he,

[39:22] I think,

[39:23] yeah,

[39:23] he was a

[39:23] contractor.

[39:23] I think he ran

[39:24] a construction

[39:24] company that

[39:25] specialized in

[39:26] houses.

[39:26] Or,

[39:27] like I said,

[39:27] he's a hit man.

[39:28] Anyway,

[39:29] you were saying?

S4

[39:30] This is a,

[39:30] this is a big,

[39:31] beautiful movie,

[39:32] and this is a

[39:33] weird hill for

[39:34] us to get

[39:34] stuck on.

[39:36] It's like you

[39:37] just pulled out

[39:38] the smoking gun

[39:39] where you're like,

[39:39] I think he would

[39:40] know what foam

[39:41] sealant feels like

[39:42] in his hand

[39:42] because he is

[39:43] a contractor.

[39:44] As if contractors

[39:46] are just spraying

[39:46] foam sealant

[39:47] in their hand

[39:48] and rubbing it

[39:49] on walls

[39:49] like they're

[39:50] working on a

[39:51] barbershop.

[39:51] You know what

Stuart Wellington

[39:52] it feels like

[39:53] on their faces.

Dan McCoy

[39:54] Take the war

[39:54] with Grandpa

[39:54] away,

[39:55] boys.

[39:56] And they hustle

[39:57] the DVD

[39:57] into a patty wagon.

[39:58] Just one more thing.

Stuart Wellington

[39:59] It's a real,

[40:00] it's a real

Elliott Kalan

[40:00] encyclopedia

[40:01] Brown way to take

[40:02] down the movie.

[40:03] you would normally

Stuart Wellington

[40:03] think,

[40:04] you would normally

[40:04] think a scene

[40:05] where Robert

[40:06] De Niro

[40:06] gets foam

[40:07] sealant on his

[40:08] face like a

[40:09] little foam

[40:09] sealant beard

[40:10] and he starts

[40:11] screaming and

[40:12] punching himself

[40:12] in the face.

[40:13] You think

[40:13] that'd be enough?

[40:14] Not so fast.

[40:15] No, no, no.

[40:15] Because he then

[40:16] turns around

[40:17] and his towel

[40:18] falls down

[40:18] and Rob Riggle

[40:19] sees his dick

[40:20] and is horrified.

[40:21] There's a lot

[40:22] of screaming.

[40:22] He screams

[40:24] like he has

[40:25] seen untold

[40:26] alien geometries.

[40:28] Yeah,

[40:28] it is indescribably

Elliott Kalan

[40:29] horrible and it

[40:30] has driven him

[40:30] to the brink

[40:31] of madness.

Dan McCoy

[40:32] Yeah.

[40:32] It is also

[40:33] one of these

[40:33] movie,

[40:34] like,

[40:35] I'm seeing

[40:36] you naked

[40:36] situations

[40:37] where it's

[40:39] just a lot

[40:39] of cutting

[40:40] back and forth

[40:40] between two

[40:41] people screaming

[40:42] and no one

[40:42] thinks he's

[40:42] just closed

[40:43] the door.

[40:44] Or he doesn't

Stuart Wellington

[40:45] do what you

[40:46] would expect

[40:46] a normal

[40:47] person to do

[40:48] to be like,

[40:48] oh,

[40:48] whoa.

[40:49] Sorry.

[40:49] And then,

[40:49] then,

[40:50] of course,

[40:51] it cuts to

[40:51] a shot

[40:51] of Rob

[40:52] Riggle

[40:52] stepping into

[40:53] the hallway

[40:53] and he's

[40:54] just like

[40:54] thinking,

[40:55] he's like,

[40:55] wow,

[40:56] I just saw

[40:56] my father's

[40:58] penis.

[40:59] Do you think

[40:59] he was screaming

[41:00] because it was

Dan McCoy

[41:00] huge?

[41:02] Oh,

[41:03] no,

[41:03] because it had

[41:03] a face on

[41:04] the end of it.

[41:04] That's why.

[41:05] Close the door,

[41:06] buddy.

[41:06] Yeah,

[41:07] it's brown

[41:07] jenkin,

[41:08] but a penis.

[41:09] Yeah,

[41:09] yeah.

[41:09] It's like

[41:10] the happy clown.

Elliott Kalan

[41:11] Brain damage.

[41:12] Mm-hmm.

[41:13] Mm-hmm.

[41:14] Here's the thing.

[41:16] If you've ever

[41:16] been on a vacation

[41:17] with your

[41:18] in-laws,

[41:19] you've seen

[41:20] parts of them

[41:20] that you

[41:21] didn't think

[41:22] you were going

[41:23] to see.

S4

[41:23] No,

[41:24] I have not,

Elliott Kalan

[41:25] Elliot.

[41:25] You've never

[41:26] been sitting

[41:27] around with

[41:28] your in-laws

[41:28] and they've

[41:29] just started

[41:29] falling out

[41:30] of their

[41:30] bathing suit.

[41:34] All right.

[41:34] No,

[41:35] man.

[41:35] I guess

[41:35] you're living

[41:36] a more

[41:37] button-up life

[41:38] than I am.

[41:38] You're not

[41:38] going to

[41:39] a pabo-wabo

Stuart Wellington

[41:39] canteen

[41:40] like Elliot

Elliott Kalan

[41:41] does.

[41:41] I guess

[41:42] you're not

[41:42] going to

[41:42] hedonism

[41:43] too

[41:43] with your

[41:43] in-laws

[41:44] like I am.

[41:44] Oh,

[41:45] boy.

Stuart Wellington

[41:46] Like,

[41:47] it sounded

[41:47] like fun.

[41:48] I thought

[41:48] it was just

[41:49] going to be

[41:49] a lot of

[41:49] delicious food.

[41:52] Oh,

[41:52] man.

[41:53] So,

[41:54] at this point

[41:54] the war is

[41:55] on because

[41:56] Grandpa

[41:57] rewrites

[41:58] Peter's

[41:59] homework

[42:00] so that

[42:00] he,

[42:01] when he has

[42:01] to go

[42:02] to school

[42:02] and read

[42:03] what he did

[42:03] for summer

[42:05] break,

[42:05] he just

[42:06] reads this

[42:06] story about

[42:07] farting in a

[42:08] bag and

[42:08] smelling it

[42:09] and at no

[42:09] point is he

[42:10] like...

[42:10] And the teacher

Stuart Wellington

[42:10] goes,

Dan McCoy

[42:11] keep reading.

[42:12] She's like,

[42:12] keep reading.

[42:13] I have two

[42:15] issues with

[42:15] this.

[42:16] Okay,

[42:17] counselor,

[42:17] the floor

[42:18] is yours.

[42:18] Okay,

[42:19] sure.

[42:19] Number one,

[42:20] this is one

[42:20] of these movie

[42:21] situations

[42:21] where,

[42:22] like,

[42:23] a person

[42:24] tries to

[42:25] object only

[42:25] once and

[42:26] once they're

[42:27] shut down,

[42:27] they stop,

[42:28] which I

[42:29] understand.

[42:29] I mean,

[42:29] like,

[42:30] you're a

[42:30] child.

[42:30] I get it.

[42:31] Maybe you're

[42:31] scared of your

[42:32] teacher,

[42:32] but like,

[42:32] he's like,

[42:33] but this

[42:34] isn't what

[42:34] I...

[42:35] And she's

[42:35] like,

[42:35] read.

[42:36] And like,

[42:36] I think you

[42:37] can still

[42:37] get out,

[42:38] like,

[42:38] this is not

[42:39] my thing.

[42:40] Like,

[42:40] this is

[42:41] not...

[42:41] I'm sorry.

[42:42] I know

[42:42] that you

[42:43] want me

[42:43] to read

[42:43] my homework,

[42:44] which is

[42:44] this isn't.

S4

[42:46] Do you

[42:47] know how

[42:47] much teachers

[42:48] get paid

[42:48] though,

[42:48] Dan?

[42:49] Because if

[42:49] I was a

[42:50] teacher in

[42:51] this economy

[42:52] and a kid

[42:54] started to

[42:54] read something

[42:55] that their

[42:56] grandpa had

[42:57] written for

[43:00] them as a

[43:00] terrible prank,

[43:02] you would

[43:02] stop that

[43:04] moment from

[43:04] happening.

[43:05] No,

[43:05] you would

[43:06] want to play

[43:07] that out for

[43:07] sure.

[43:08] You're not

[43:08] going to get

[43:08] that opportunity

Stuart Wellington

[43:09] again.

[43:10] You only

[43:11] get so

[43:11] many

[43:11] TikTokable

[43:12] moments in

[43:13] a day.

[43:13] I will

Dan McCoy

[43:14] give this

[43:15] one to

[43:15] the defense,

[43:16] the council

[43:17] for the

[43:18] defense of

[43:18] the war

[43:19] with grandpa.

[43:20] But the

[43:20] other thing

[43:20] is,

[43:21] I,

[43:22] you know,

[43:24] I know

[43:24] how reading

[43:25] works because

[43:26] I do it,

[43:27] you know,

[43:27] like,

[43:28] I've read

[43:28] words.

[43:29] I'll buy it.

[43:30] That's expert

[43:30] testimony,

[43:31] sure,

[43:31] about reading.

[43:32] What happens

[43:33] is,

[43:33] you know,

[43:34] like,

[43:34] the words

[43:34] go,

[43:35] you know,

[43:35] from my

[43:36] eyes up

[43:36] to brain

[43:37] junction

[43:37] before I

[43:38] say them

[43:38] out loud.

[43:39] And so,

[43:41] I think

[43:41] recognizing that

[43:42] you're talking

[43:43] about saving,

[43:43] you know,

[43:44] your farts in a

[43:44] bag,

[43:44] whatever the,

[43:45] like,

[43:45] that's not the

[43:45] first thing he

[43:46] says,

[43:46] but whatever it

[43:47] is,

[43:47] I think he

[43:47] can maybe

[43:48] cut himself

[43:49] off.

[43:49] He talks about

[43:50] eating farts

S4

[43:50] in a bag

[43:51] and freezes it,

[43:52] which,

[43:52] like,

[43:53] do you have a

[43:53] way of

[43:54] reducing the

[43:55] temperature to

[43:56] negative 200

[43:57] degrees Celsius?

[43:58] Because that's

[43:58] what would

[43:59] require to

[43:59] freeze,

[44:00] to freeze

[44:00] air.

[44:01] I mean,

[44:01] that's a great

[44:02] story.

[44:02] That's a great

[44:03] story,

[44:03] kid.

Dan McCoy

[44:04] I just

[44:04] realize now,

[44:05] like,

[44:05] it's great to

[44:06] imagine Robert

[44:07] De Niro sitting

[44:08] down and writing

[44:09] this out.

[44:09] Uh-huh.

[44:10] Yeah.

[44:10] Licking the tip

Stuart Wellington

[44:11] of his pencil.

Elliott Kalan

[44:13] There's an episode

[44:15] of the show

[44:15] Cowboy Bebop,

[44:16] if anyone's

[44:17] familiar with it,

[44:17] that involves

[44:18] a kind of,

[44:19] some kind of

[44:20] evil bearded

[44:21] guy.

[44:21] I can't remember

[44:22] if he's a

[44:22] robot or not.

[44:23] And there's a

[44:23] part where he

[44:24] sends a

[44:25] threatening email

[44:26] to the heroes

[44:27] of the show.

[44:29] And I remember

[44:29] my college

[44:30] roommate at the

[44:31] time,

[44:31] Brian Chan,

[44:31] he goes,

[44:32] hmm,

[44:33] do you think

[44:33] he had to go

[44:33] to the library

[44:34] to use one

[44:34] of the public

[44:35] computers to

[44:36] write that email?

[44:36] And all I could

[44:37] imagine was the

[44:38] bad guy of this

[44:39] show going to

[44:40] the library,

[44:40] waiting his turn,

[44:41] signing into his

[44:42] one of the

[44:42] computers,

[44:43] logging in,

[44:44] having trouble

[44:45] with his login,

[44:46] needing help

[44:46] from the librarian.

[44:47] And I imagine

[44:48] it was kind of

[44:48] like that.

[44:49] Yeah,

[44:49] it's fun to

[44:49] imagine characters

[44:50] sitting down and

[44:51] doing the things

[44:51] that were not

[44:52] shown on screen

[44:53] because it would

[44:53] be silly to

[44:54] see them doing

[44:55] it.

Stuart Wellington

[44:56] So here my

[44:57] notes get a

[44:57] little bit vague.

[44:58] It says,

[44:59] Uma Thurman is

[45:00] becoming increasingly

[45:01] unhinged.

[45:03] The pranks

[45:04] continue to

[45:04] escalate.

S4

[45:05] Yeah,

[45:06] they do.

[45:06] Can we talk

[45:07] about those?

[45:07] Can we talk

[45:07] about if we're

[45:08] going to glance

[45:09] off these

[45:09] pranks,

[45:10] can we at

[45:10] least take a

[45:11] moment to

[45:12] acknowledge that

[45:13] snake prank was

[45:14] a pretty fucked

[45:15] up thing to do?

[45:16] Yes.

[45:17] Because it sets

[45:18] up that one of

[45:18] the friend

[45:19] characters,

[45:19] who doesn't

[45:20] really get a

[45:20] thing.

[45:21] No,

[45:21] he doesn't

[45:21] have a thing.

S4

[45:21] I feel like to

Stuart Wellington

[45:22] hang his hat

[45:22] on.

[45:23] Other than he

[45:24] is the instigator.

[45:26] The whole war

[45:27] was his idea.

S4

[45:29] That's a good

[45:29] point.

[45:30] There's one scene

[45:31] where he's talking

[45:33] to him and a

[45:33] snake is in the

[45:34] background and one

[45:35] of his other

[45:35] friends is like,

[45:35] hey, cool snake.

[45:36] And you're like,

[45:37] oh, check off.

[45:38] Put that right up

[45:39] there.

[45:39] Thank you.

[45:41] And sure enough,

[45:42] later on,

[45:44] Pete goes to

[45:45] a tree in the

[45:46] front yard and

[45:47] this kid's on

[45:48] the other side

[45:48] and he sells

[45:49] him his pet.

[45:50] His snake.

[45:51] I assumed he was

[45:52] just renting it

[45:52] to him,

[45:53] but do you

[45:53] think he sold

[45:53] it outright?

[45:55] I mean,

[45:55] if he was

[45:56] renting it to

[45:56] him and then

[45:57] he used it

[45:58] for a putting

[45:59] it in Robert

[46:00] De Niro's bed

[46:01] and he wakes

[46:01] up and yells

[46:02] because there's

[46:02] a snake on

[46:03] me.

[46:03] The last time

[46:05] we see that

[46:05] snake,

[46:06] it is in the

[46:07] car with the

[46:08] mom.

[46:08] I forgot.

[46:09] I forgot.

S4

[46:09] I forgot.

[46:10] It's draped

[46:10] across the arms

Stuart Wellington

[46:12] of a police

[46:13] officer.

Elliott Kalan

[46:14] Yeah.

[46:14] The mom sees

[46:15] it in the car

[46:15] and throws it

[46:15] at the police

[46:16] officer.

[46:16] She previously

[46:17] threw her

[46:17] coffee that

[46:18] had what?

[46:19] Pepper in it

[46:20] or something?

[46:20] Hot sauce.

[46:21] Piss.

[46:21] So yeah,

[46:22] that snake

[46:22] is grandpa

[46:23] piss.

[46:23] That snake

[46:24] has been

[46:24] euthanized.

[46:26] That's what I

[46:26] meant when I

Stuart Wellington

[46:26] said escalating

[46:27] breaks.

Elliott Kalan

[46:28] There's grandpa

[46:29] piss in everything.

[46:30] I mean,

[46:30] that's the message.

[46:32] As you get older,

[46:33] you have less

[46:34] control over your

[46:35] piss.

[46:36] The rest of

[46:37] the movie is

[46:37] just grandpa

[46:38] pees in

[46:39] Peter's book

[46:39] bag.

[46:40] Peter pees

[46:40] in grandpa's

[46:41] bed.

[46:41] Grandpa pees

[46:42] in Peter's

[46:43] bed.

[46:43] Grandpa pees

[46:44] in Peter's

[46:44] aquarium.

[46:45] Peter pees

[46:45] in grandpa's

[46:46] contact lens

[46:47] fluid.

[46:47] Here's the

[46:48] thing.

Dan McCoy

[46:48] At a certain

[46:49] point, you

[46:50] just run out

[46:51] of creative

[46:52] juice.

[46:52] That's what

[46:53] it is.

[46:54] Is that

Stuart Wellington

[46:54] me, Dan?

[46:55] No, I'm

[46:56] saying in any

[46:57] war with

[46:57] grandpa, it

[46:58] ultimately boils

[46:59] down to just

Dan McCoy

[47:01] a peeing

[47:02] fight because

[47:02] you just can't

[47:03] think of anything

[47:03] else.

[47:04] It's like when

[47:05] people come

[47:06] to visit

[47:07] New York

[47:07] City and

[47:08] they're like,

[47:08] what should

[47:09] we do?

[47:09] And you're

[47:09] like, suddenly

[47:10] you can't

[47:11] think of

[47:11] anything to

[47:12] do with

[47:12] them, even

[47:12] though you

[47:13] live in the

[47:13] biggest city

[47:14] in the country.

S4

[47:15] There's too

[47:16] many options.

[47:17] I would have

[47:17] appreciated the

[47:18] escalation I

[47:19] wanted to see

[47:19] was when one

[47:21] of the more,

[47:22] I would say,

[47:22] fucked up

[47:22] things, but

[47:23] that's just

[47:23] because I'm

[47:24] a real

[47:24] gamer.

[47:26] You wanted

[47:27] Peter to

Elliott Kalan

[47:28] swat his

[47:28] grandpa?

S4

[47:29] grandpa,

[47:30] grandpa,

[47:31] Rob,

[47:32] Robert De

[47:33] Niro destroys

[47:34] his faux

[47:35] Minecraft

[47:36] medieval

[47:37] kingdom.

[47:38] I'm not

[47:39] like terribly

[47:39] plugged into,

[47:40] you know,

[47:42] what's hot

[47:44] on Steam

[47:45] right now

[47:45] for PC

[47:46] gaming.

[47:46] I did not

[47:46] recognize the

[47:47] gaming question,

[47:48] but that he,

[47:49] one, went to

[47:49] the trouble of

[47:50] destroying his

[47:51] kingdom with

[47:52] trebuchets to

[47:53] get back at

[47:54] him, this

[47:54] faux Minecraft

[47:56] kingdom that he

[47:56] had been building

[47:57] for many

[47:57] years and

[47:59] didn't just

[47:59] like delete

[48:00] it from the

[48:01] computer, which

[48:02] is another way

[48:02] of destroying

[48:03] digital things.

[48:04] It's funnier

[48:04] this way.

[48:05] It is funnier

[48:06] this way.

[48:07] Also to play

[48:07] taps, yeah.

[48:09] If Pete had

[48:10] then gone on a

[48:12] rampage destroying

[48:13] all of the homes

[48:14] that he had built

[48:15] around town.

Elliott Kalan

[48:15] He's just lighting

[48:16] them a fire and

[48:17] things like that.

S4

[48:17] To destroy his

[48:18] legacy as well.

[48:20] I feel like that

[48:20] would have been

[48:21] an equal exchange.

Elliott Kalan

[48:23] Well, I mean,

[48:23] it's not that

[48:23] unbelievable.

[48:24] There's a certain,

[48:24] any Robert De Niro

[48:25] movie, you know

[48:26] at a certain point

[48:27] there's potential

[48:27] for him to go

[48:28] on a violent

[48:28] rampage of some

[48:29] kind.

[48:30] And so, we're

[48:32] just lucky that

[48:33] Pete wasn't just

[48:35] sitting with his

[48:36] friends, hanging

[48:36] out, watching

[48:37] Disney afternoon,

[48:38] eating Doritos and

[48:40] drinking purple

[48:40] stuff.

[48:41] And then suddenly

[48:42] comes in and

[48:43] just starts freeing

[48:44] child prostitutes

[48:45] left and right and

[48:45] shooting Harvey

[48:46] Keitel and all

[48:47] sorts of things.

[48:47] That's very

[48:48] possible.

[48:48] He's done that

[48:49] before.

Stuart Wellington

[48:50] He's done it at

[48:51] least once before

[48:52] so it can happen

[48:52] again.

Elliott Kalan

[48:53] He did it at

[48:53] least once.

[48:54] I know it was

[48:54] almost 50 years

[48:55] ago, but still.

Stuart Wellington

[48:56] I do want to

[48:56] point out, we

[48:57] had mentioned

[48:57] the previous

[48:58] snake prank where

[49:00] wakes up in bed

[49:01] with his grandson's

[49:03] friend, Snake, and

[49:04] he is horrified.

[49:05] He's shocked.

[49:05] So he does the

[49:08] only thing that he

[49:09] can, which is he

[49:10] jumps out the

[49:11] window and he

[49:11] falls off the

[49:12] roof.

[49:13] Of course, his

[49:13] pants fall down

[49:14] and his dick

[49:15] flops out.

[49:16] Terrifying.

S4

[49:17] Yeah, that's the

[49:18] real snake you

[49:18] should be afraid

[49:19] of.

[49:19] Yeah, exactly.

[49:21] But here's the

[49:21] thing.

[49:22] We didn't get to

[49:23] see that dirty

[49:23] dick, did we?

[49:24] Because there was

[49:25] a bush hanging in

[49:26] the way and not

[49:27] the fun kind of

[49:28] bush that you see

[49:29] on Robert De Niro's

[49:30] pubic area.

[49:31] It was a bush.

[49:32] So like Rob

[49:33] Riggle was

[49:33] screaming because

[49:34] he saw his

[49:34] grandpa whose

[49:35] penis was pretty

[49:37] well obscured by a

[49:38] bush.

[49:38] But he remembers.

Dan McCoy

[49:39] Well, he thought

[49:40] that the penis

[49:40] turned into a bush

[49:42] and it terrified

[49:42] him.

[49:43] Yeah, he said

[49:44] there's a witch

[49:45] on the loose

[49:45] who's changing

[49:46] genitals into

[49:47] topiaries and I

[49:48] don't want to

[49:48] run foul of that

[49:49] witch.

S4

[49:50] Maybe at first

[49:52] he thought, is

[49:52] that what his

[49:53] real pubis

[49:55] looks like?

[49:56] And he was

[49:56] like, no, I

[49:57] just saw it

[49:57] yesterday.

[49:59] And then he

[49:59] thinks, did he

[50:00] grow that today?

[50:01] Can he do

[50:02] that?

[50:02] If he can do

[50:03] that, if he

[50:04] can grow his

[50:05] pubes that

[50:06] lush at will

[50:08] in 24 hours,

[50:09] that is, he

[50:10] is a warlock.

[50:11] He has set

Stuart Wellington

[50:12] unrealistic standards

[50:13] of expectation

[50:14] that my wife

[50:15] would be

[50:15] disappointed by

[50:16] my own

[50:17] inability to

[50:17] do.

Elliott Kalan

[50:18] Well, I

[50:18] mean, that's

[50:18] the thing.

[50:19] Do you think

[50:19] Riggle is not

[50:20] so scared because

[50:20] he's seeing

[50:21] another man's

[50:21] genitals, which

[50:22] you've got to

[50:22] have seen, he's

[50:23] seen them in

[50:23] locker rooms or

[50:24] perhaps stadium

[50:25] bathrooms?

[50:26] Although at one

[50:26] point they say,

[50:27] Robert De Niro goes,

[50:28] Arthur, you're still

[50:28] not much of a

[50:29] sports guy, huh?

[50:30] Which was the

[50:31] funniest.

[50:31] gag in the

[50:32] movie because

[50:33] Robert De Niro is

Dan McCoy

[50:33] a huge sports

[50:34] fan.

Elliott Kalan

[50:35] Yeah.

[50:35] Or you know

Dan McCoy

[50:36] what?

[50:36] In pornography,

[50:37] like as a man

[50:38] who doesn't go

[50:39] to the gym that

[50:40] often, I'll tell

[50:41] you the number

[50:41] one place I see

[50:42] other dicks is

[50:43] old-fashioned

[50:44] porn.

Elliott Kalan

[50:45] Dick movies.

[50:47] Thanks for

[50:47] explaining that.

[50:49] But do you

[50:49] think it's less

[50:50] the sight of

[50:52] another man's

[50:52] penis that's

[50:53] bothering him and

[50:54] rather the sight

[50:54] of maybe his

[50:56] own future?

[50:57] Because someday

[50:58] he'll be an old

[50:58] man and someday

[50:59] he'll have a

[51:00] penis like that.

[51:00] hanging out a

[51:02] window.

[51:02] He goes,

[51:03] someday,

[51:03] someday will I

[51:04] be an old

[51:05] man with

[51:05] sealant on my

[51:06] face and my

[51:08] lower hair turned

[51:09] gray and my

[51:11] penis surprisingly

[51:12] virile and yet

[51:13] lonely?

[51:14] Will that be me

[51:14] someday?

[51:15] I hope not.

[51:16] It's a chilling

[51:16] vision of the future.

Stuart Wellington

[51:17] very long and

[51:19] batwing-like at

[51:20] this point.

[51:21] Batwing?

[51:22] Will terrify my

[51:26] daughter's husband.

[51:27] I'm assuming it's

[51:28] going to be

[51:28] Russell at this

[51:29] point.

[51:30] When you say

Elliott Kalan

[51:31] batwing, I

[51:32] assume you meant

[51:32] the plane that

[51:34] Batman owns and

[51:35] that he took it

[51:35] to Lucius Fox.

[51:36] He took a picture

[51:37] of Robert De Niro's

[51:38] testicles.

[51:38] He said, make it

[51:39] look like that.

[51:40] But two of them.

Stuart Wellington

[51:42] Make it symmetrical.

[51:43] It's got to

[51:44] look cool.

[51:45] Okay, so right

[51:47] around now, Bobby

[51:48] D, aka Grandpa,

[51:50] goes to the Best

[51:51] Buy equivalent

[51:52] because he's got to

[51:53] get himself a drone.

[51:55] He had trouble

[51:56] using an iPad.

[51:57] I don't know if

[51:57] he should get a

[51:58] drone, but of

[51:59] course.

Elliott Kalan

[51:59] And that

[52:00] questioning is

[52:02] borne out,

[52:03] Stuart.

[52:03] Your worries are

[52:04] borne out by the

[52:05] use of the drone.

Dan McCoy

[52:05] But also, we'll

[52:07] get to it later,

[52:07] I'm sure, but part

[52:08] of the arc of this

[52:09] movie is through

[52:09] the war with

[52:10] Grandpa.

[52:10] Grandpa learns

[52:11] how to use

[52:12] technology.

[52:13] Yeah.

[52:13] So, I mean,

[52:14] I was waiting for

[52:16] an ending of this

[52:17] film where the

[52:18] kid starts a

[52:19] community college

[52:20] course where he

[52:21] just tortures

[52:21] people into

[52:22] learning how to

[52:24] do technology

[52:25] through pranks.

[52:26] But sorry,

[52:26] Griffin.

[52:26] There is a

S4

[52:27] noble attempt

[52:29] at a redemption

[52:30] arc for Robert

[52:32] De Niro's

[52:32] character, starting

[52:33] out as a pretty

[52:33] cantankerous

[52:35] standoffish person

[52:36] to being sort of

[52:38] integrated into

[52:39] this thing.

[52:39] I will say

[52:40] this, war with

[52:40] Grandpa, that

[52:42] goal, that

[52:42] goal, I would

[52:43] say you

[52:44] accomplished

[52:44] admirably.

Stuart Wellington

[52:46] So, at

[52:48] Best Buy, he

[52:48] starts flirting

[52:49] with a

[52:50] salesperson

[52:50] played by

[52:51] Jane Seymour

[52:52] who is very

[52:53] game and

[52:54] later on

[52:54] goes to

[52:55] extreme lengths

[52:57] just to get a

[52:58] little bit of

[52:58] dick.

[53:00] What?

[53:01] I mean, she

[53:02] can't, she

[53:02] plays in a

[53:03] fucking dodgeball

[53:04] game just to

[53:05] get a piece.

[53:05] I don't know.

[53:07] She's not doing

[53:08] that for her.

Dan McCoy

[53:08] Are you serious?

[53:10] I'm sure if that's

[53:11] what she wanted,

[53:12] she would have no

[53:13] trouble doing it

[53:14] without engaging in a

[53:16] dodgeball game with

[53:17] children.

Elliott Kalan

[53:18] You're saying, Stuart,

[53:18] there was a scene

[53:19] they must have cut out

[53:20] where she is on a

[53:21] date with Robert

[53:21] De Niro and she

[53:22] makes a move and

[53:22] he says, no, no,

[53:23] we're not married.

[53:24] You've got to earn

[53:25] this.

[53:26] You've got to earn

[53:26] this.

[53:26] Yeah, yeah.

[53:27] Help me beat the

[53:28] shit out of my

[53:28] grandson.

[53:29] She's like,

[53:30] anything for that

[53:31] thing.

[53:32] And she calls

[53:34] up, he goes, if

[53:36] you play in this

[53:37] dodgeball match, you

[53:37] can have it all.

[53:38] And she calls up

[53:39] Rob Briggle and

[53:39] she's like, you've

[53:40] seen it.

[53:40] Is it worth it?

[53:41] Should I play in

[53:41] this dodgeball

[53:42] match?

[53:43] And Rob Briggle

[53:43] was like, go for

Stuart Wellington

[53:44] it.

[53:44] You've got to.

[53:46] Okay, so at

[53:48] this point, Grandpa's

[53:49] been through some

[53:50] rough times and he's

[53:51] given his family

[53:51] some scares, so they

[53:52] make him wear a

[53:53] life alert necklace

[53:54] and he's like, I

[53:54] don't want to do

[53:55] this, but he does

[53:56] it anyway.

[53:58] Grandpa destroys

[53:59] his Minecraft

[54:00] castle.

[54:00] He said that.

[54:01] The snake that

[54:02] we talked about

[54:03] before shows up in

[54:04] Uma Thurman's car

[54:05] which she throws

[54:05] out the window onto

[54:06] a unsuspecting and

[54:07] very unhappy

[54:08] policeman.

[54:10] They decide to

[54:11] have some peace

[54:11] talks because things

[54:12] are, as I've said,

[54:14] escalating.

[54:15] They have a

[54:16] mediator, that's

[54:17] Jenny, the

[54:18] Christmas obsessed

[54:19] younger sister.

[54:21] Like what, four

[54:21] year old?

[54:22] Five year old?

[54:23] She's probably

Elliott Kalan

[54:23] like five, maybe

[54:24] six, let's say

[54:25] six, let's say

[54:26] six, seven.

[54:27] Do I hear

[54:27] seven?

[54:28] Seven going

[54:29] once, going

[54:29] twice, eight.

[54:30] I hear eight

[54:30] going once, going

[54:31] twice, nine.

[54:32] I hear nine.

[54:33] Too much.

[54:33] No, no, no.

[54:34] Peace talks

[54:35] break down so

Stuart Wellington

[54:35] they decide they

[54:36] will have one

[54:37] final competition

[54:38] and of course the

[54:39] only thing they

[54:39] can do is go to

[54:40] the local

[54:40] trampoline dodgeball

[54:41] zone and have a

[54:43] four on four

[54:44] dodgeball match.

[54:45] Kids versus

[54:46] old people.

[54:47] So we get

[54:49] Cheech Marin,

[54:50] Robert De Niro,

[54:51] Jane Seymour versus

[54:52] some kid actors.

[54:55] It's surprisingly close

[54:56] and ends up in the

[54:57] tie.

[54:57] There's some flips,

[54:58] kids get hit in the

[54:59] nuts.

[54:59] It's great.

[55:00] This sequence goes

Elliott Kalan

[55:01] on for so long

[55:03] that you expect it

[55:03] to be the climax

[55:04] of the war and

[55:05] to have some sort

[55:06] of resolution to

[55:07] it.

S4

[55:07] It does not.

[55:08] It is there to

[55:09] eat up time.

[55:09] God, that would

[55:10] have been a fun

[55:11] movie though if it

[55:12] had ended with a

[55:13] real dodgeball

[55:14] game.

[55:14] That would have

[55:14] had big sort

[55:15] of late 80s

[55:17] made for TV

[55:18] sort of ABC

[55:19] family vibes.

[55:20] All right, if you

Elliott Kalan

[55:21] win this dodgeball

[55:21] game, I'll move

[55:22] out of the house.

[55:23] And if you win

[55:23] this dodgeball

[55:24] game, I'll stop

[55:25] being a kid.

[55:26] All right.

[55:26] And they shake

[55:27] hands on it.

[55:28] And De Niro wins

[55:29] so Peter magically

[55:30] turns into a

[55:31] grown up and goes

[55:31] out and gets a

[55:32] job in an

[55:32] apartment.

[55:33] Yeah.

S4

[55:34] He goes, but he

[55:35] enlists and he

[55:36] tragically dies in

[55:38] the real war.

Elliott Kalan

[55:39] I went from the

[55:40] war with grandpa

[55:41] to the war against

[55:41] ISIS.

[55:42] I wasn't prepared.

S4

[55:45] I tried to stop

[55:46] them with pranks.

[55:47] I am a recent

[55:48] trampoline

[55:49] acquirer.

[55:51] I'm new to the

[55:51] scene.

[55:53] And I, man, I

[55:54] love the thing, but

[55:55] I am in, I would

[55:56] say of average

[55:57] health at 30, 35.

[56:00] And I can make it

[56:03] about five minutes

[56:04] jumping on a

[56:05] trampoline before I

[56:06] am just sort of

[56:07] completely exhausted.

[56:08] There was cramping

Stuart Wellington

[56:09] up, not enough, you

[56:10] know, it's all in the

Elliott Kalan

[56:11] ankle.

[56:11] I found the secret,

[56:12] the secret in my

[56:13] family, because my

[56:13] kids always want me to

[56:14] jump on the trampoline

[56:15] with them because we

[56:15] have one also.

[56:16] The secret is if I

[56:17] sing at the top of

[56:18] my lungs, both I can

[56:20] last longer jumping

[56:21] and my kids want to

[56:22] jump less long.

[56:23] So it helps me in

[56:24] both ways.

[56:26] Yeah.

S4

[56:26] That sounds good.

[56:27] That's convenient

[56:27] since it's just your

[56:28] default sort of, what

[56:30] you're normally, what

[56:32] you're normally doing.

Elliott Kalan

[56:33] When you, when you

[56:33] got a hammer,

[56:34] everything looks like

[56:34] a nail.

[56:35] Every situation, I'm

[56:36] like, what am I

[56:36] saying real loud?

Dan McCoy

[56:37] When we came out to

[56:38] LA for Elliot's

[56:39] 40th, the, the

[56:41] house that, um,

[56:43] Daniel got for the

[56:44] weekend.

[56:44] Jack Hardy.

[56:45] Like the, like the

[56:47] rental had a trampoline

[56:49] enclosure.

[56:52] And I likewise remember

[56:53] getting in there like

[56:54] early one morning before

[56:55] other people were up and

[56:57] about.

[56:57] I'm like, oh, look,

[56:58] there's a trampoline

[56:59] over here.

[56:59] And I jumped on it for,

[57:01] I think maybe 30

[57:02] seconds.

[57:02] I'm like, well,

[57:03] that's, that's nothing

[57:03] bad.

[57:04] I get the idea.

[57:05] I go up.

S4

[57:05] It activates, it

[57:07] activates about a

[57:08] 700,000 muscles to

[57:10] jump that high.

Stuart Wellington

[57:11] When I was in my

[57:12] twenties at one

[57:13] point, I was like,

[57:14] you know what?

[57:14] I've heard, I've

[57:15] heard that if you, uh,

[57:17] jump rope, it's pretty

[57:18] good exercise.

[57:18] So I'll try it.

[57:19] When I was a kid, I

[57:20] could jump rope all

[57:21] day long.

[57:22] So I tried it and

[57:22] like five seconds in,

[57:24] I'm like, I want to

[57:25] die.

[57:25] Yeah.

[57:26] Yeah.

S4

[57:26] It made me feel like I

[57:27] did this a lot for

[57:28] jump rope for heart,

[57:29] which was the thing

[57:29] that we did at our

[57:30] school for a long

[57:31] time.

[57:31] Yeah.

[57:32] And then I was

[57:32] like, was I

[57:33] supposed to keep,

[57:34] was that something I

[57:35] needed to upkeep?

[57:36] Yeah.

[57:36] My, my, my

[57:37] capacity for what's

[57:39] wrong with my

[57:39] heart?

[57:39] Because it makes me

[57:40] feel like if I

[57:41] can't jump rope

[57:42] very good now, my

[57:42] heart must be pretty

[57:43] bad.

[57:44] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[57:44] Pretty bad.

[57:45] I mean, it says

[57:45] something that the

[57:46] only people that I

[57:47] ever see jumping rope

[57:48] are little girls and

[57:49] professional boxers.

[57:50] They're the only

[57:51] adults I ever see

[57:52] jumping rope and

[57:53] they jump rope a lot.

[57:54] So it seems like it's

[57:54] and their job is to

[57:55] get punched in the

[57:56] head or punch other

[57:57] guys in the head as

[57:57] hard as possible.

Stuart Wellington

[57:59] Professional boxers

[58:00] are the guys who on

[58:01] social media, there

[58:01] will be videos of

[58:02] like a random

[58:03] person like shadow

[58:05] boxing or playing

[58:05] around with them.

[58:06] and you see this

[58:07] man who is massive

[58:08] move faster than any

[58:10] human should ever

[58:11] move.

[58:11] Yeah.

[58:12] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[58:13] Now, here's the,

[58:13] before we leave the

[58:14] dodgeball scene, I

[58:15] want to say one

[58:15] thing.

[58:15] Can you guess,

[58:17] Flophouse co-host and

[58:19] Flophouse guest, can

[58:20] you guess which cast

[58:22] member in this scene I

[58:23] have worked with?

[58:25] It's probably not one

[58:26] of those weird little

[58:26] kids.

[58:27] Not one of the

[58:28] kids.

[58:28] Is it one of the

[58:28] weird little kids?

[58:29] Oh.

[58:29] Although one of the

[58:30] kids, the kid who

[58:30] plays Steve, the dumb

[58:31] friend, I was like,

[58:32] where do I know him

[58:33] from?

[58:33] He's on the TV show

[58:34] Odd Squad, one of my

[58:35] kids' favorite shows.

[58:36] So it's the dodgeball

[58:37] scene.

[58:38] It's one of the.

[58:39] It's just the dodgeball

[58:40] scene.

[58:40] There's someone in that

[58:41] scene that I have

[58:42] worked with.

[58:43] Is it the guy who

[58:44] works at the place?

[58:45] You're right.

[58:46] You're exactly right.

[58:47] It's the referee who's

[58:48] played by Clayton

[58:49] English, a standup that

[58:50] I worked with on a

[58:51] sports comedy show that

[58:52] never aired.

[58:54] Wow.

[58:54] So it'd be hard to

[58:55] know the answer to

[58:55] that one.

[58:56] But I was very

[58:57] excited to see him.

S4

[58:58] If I knew that,

[58:59] Elliot, you should

[59:00] have left the

[59:01] country because that

[59:02] means that I am a

[59:03] turbo stalker.

[59:04] Oh, that's the guy

Elliott Kalan

[59:05] that you were in

[59:05] the thing that

[59:06] never aired.

[59:06] That's true.

[59:07] That would have

[59:07] been too much.

[59:08] Oh, you were the

[59:08] one.

[59:09] He was the guy who

[59:10] was in that pitch

[59:10] pilot you wrote that

[59:11] got picked up for a

[59:12] TV show on True

[59:13] TV and then True

[59:13] TV canceled it before

[59:15] you started writing

[59:16] the show.

[59:17] I'd be like, yeah,

[59:18] yeah.

[59:19] How'd you know all

[59:19] that?

[59:20] How'd you know?

[59:20] Oh, no reason.

[59:21] No reason.

[59:21] No reason at all.

[59:22] And then you'd take

[59:23] off your mask and

[59:24] you'd be him.

[59:25] Yeah.

S4

[59:27] I enjoyed that story

[59:29] better than I enjoyed

[59:30] War with Grandpa.

Stuart Wellington

[59:32] So the war continues

[59:35] to escalate.

[59:35] Grandpa decides to

[59:37] cool things out by

[59:39] taking Peter fishing

[59:40] in a threatening

[59:41] manner and they get

[59:42] chased by a park

[59:43] ranger.

[59:44] Dan, you have a lot

[59:45] of thoughts about

[59:46] being chased by

[59:47] park rangers,

[59:48] don't you?

[59:50] Is this your

Dan McCoy

[59:51] toss to me to do

[59:52] another MaxFun

[59:53] Drive break?

[59:56] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[59:56] Yes, it is.

Dan McCoy

[59:59] Well, in that

[1:00:00] case, let me

[1:00:02] take a moment

[1:00:04] to tell everyone

[1:00:06] about being a

[1:00:10] member of

[1:00:11] Maximum Fun.

[1:00:13] Now, you may be

[1:00:14] wondering what is

[1:00:15] MaxFun Drive.

[1:00:16] MaxFun operates

[1:00:18] on a member

[1:00:18] supported model,

[1:00:19] which means we can

[1:00:20] the only way we

[1:00:21] can afford

[1:00:22] really to keep

[1:00:23] doing this show

[1:00:23] is that kind

[1:00:24] listeners like you

[1:00:25] believe that if

[1:00:26] they like the

[1:00:27] podcast, they

[1:00:28] should contribute

[1:00:29] to make sure it

[1:00:30] can keep getting

[1:00:31] made.

[1:00:32] You know, like

[1:00:32] any other kind

[1:00:34] of entertainment

[1:00:35] out there, like

[1:00:36] you pay for it

[1:00:37] up front.

[1:00:38] We are making

[1:00:39] this available to

[1:00:40] you for free

[1:00:41] if that's how

[1:00:42] you consume it

[1:00:44] and how you can

[1:00:44] afford to consume

[1:00:45] it.

[1:00:45] But you know

[1:00:46] what?

[1:00:47] Like if you

[1:00:47] like it, it

[1:00:49] feels nice to

[1:00:50] pay for the

[1:00:51] work that goes

[1:00:52] into it.

[1:00:52] And that

[1:00:55] means we've

[1:00:55] placed a bet

[1:00:57] on you, our

[1:00:58] listeners, on

[1:00:59] your kindness

[1:00:59] and generosity.

[1:01:00] And so far, you

[1:01:01] guys haven't let

[1:01:02] us down.

[1:01:03] Our friend Jordan

[1:01:03] Morris over at

[1:01:04] Jordan Jesse Go

[1:01:05] likes to say,

[1:01:07] you tip your

[1:01:07] bartender, you

[1:01:09] tip your

[1:01:09] barista.

[1:01:10] Think of this as

[1:01:11] tipping for a

[1:01:12] service we like to

[1:01:13] think is important

[1:01:14] in your life.

[1:01:16] And I'd like to

[1:01:17] make it clear that

[1:01:17] we're part of

[1:01:17] MaxFun, specifically

[1:01:18] because this is a

[1:01:19] system that we

[1:01:20] like.

[1:01:20] We're fortunate to

[1:01:21] have enough

[1:01:22] dedicated listeners

[1:01:23] that we could run

[1:01:24] the show a bunch

[1:01:26] of different ways.

[1:01:27] We don't have to

[1:01:28] do it this way, but

[1:01:28] we believe in the

[1:01:29] community.

[1:01:30] We love the

[1:01:30] MaxFun people.

[1:01:31] And when you give

[1:01:31] money, it goes

[1:01:32] directly to the

[1:01:33] shows and people

[1:01:34] you listen to,

[1:01:35] less a little

[1:01:37] overhead that goes

[1:01:38] to keeping the

[1:01:39] network running.

[1:01:41] If you've never

[1:01:41] done it before,

[1:01:43] I just want to

[1:01:44] explain that when

[1:01:44] you go to join,

[1:01:47] you go to a

[1:01:48] screen with a

[1:01:49] list of all the

[1:01:49] shows and you

[1:01:50] go like click,

[1:01:50] click, click.

[1:01:51] This is the one I

[1:01:52] listen to, I

[1:01:53] listen to this

[1:01:53] show, I listen

[1:01:53] to this show.

[1:01:55] Checkboxes next

[1:01:55] to what you

[1:01:56] enjoy and then

[1:01:58] it's divided up

[1:01:59] that money that

[1:02:00] you're giving as

[1:02:01] a member and

[1:02:02] goes straight to

[1:02:03] the creators that

[1:02:04] you've chosen.

[1:02:06] We know that

[1:02:06] some people may

[1:02:07] not enjoy listening

[1:02:08] to these pledge

[1:02:09] drives and I

[1:02:10] totally get it,

[1:02:10] but this is a

[1:02:11] thing that happens

[1:02:12] once a year.

[1:02:13] We come to

[1:02:14] you, we ask,

[1:02:15] is this important

[1:02:16] to you in your

[1:02:17] life?

[1:02:17] Is it a thing

[1:02:18] that you enjoy?

[1:02:18] Because if it

[1:02:19] is, maybe you'd

[1:02:20] like to help us

[1:02:21] keep doing it and

[1:02:23] feel the warm

[1:02:23] glow of knowing

[1:02:24] that you're part

[1:02:25] of what makes

[1:02:25] it happen.

[1:02:27] I'll go over

[1:02:28] the official

[1:02:28] member rewards

[1:02:29] later on, but

[1:02:31] you're all

[1:02:31] Flophouse listeners.

[1:02:35] During this

[1:02:35] break, I'm

[1:02:36] going to focus

[1:02:36] more on the

[1:02:37] specific stuff

[1:02:38] that we're

[1:02:38] offering as a

[1:02:39] show to try

[1:02:40] and sweeten

[1:02:41] the pot

[1:02:41] beyond the

[1:02:42] network level

[1:02:43] member gifts.

[1:02:45] Of course,

[1:02:46] everyone who

[1:02:47] supports the

[1:02:47] show at $5

[1:02:48] a month or

[1:02:49] more will have

[1:02:50] access to our

[1:02:51] bonus content.

[1:02:52] I actually

[1:02:53] counted.

[1:02:54] There's like

[1:02:54] 28 hours of

[1:02:56] Flophouse-related

[1:02:57] content in the

[1:02:58] bonus feed.

[1:03:00] that's well over

[1:03:01] a day of

[1:03:02] listening material

[1:03:02] from our

[1:03:03] show alone,

[1:03:04] but the

[1:03:05] bonus feed

[1:03:06] also has

[1:03:06] special episodes

[1:03:07] from every

[1:03:08] show on the

[1:03:08] network.

[1:03:09] This year,

[1:03:10] our bonus

[1:03:11] episode, we

[1:03:12] did a bracket

[1:03:12] to decide

[1:03:13] which of the

[1:03:13] movies we've

[1:03:14] covered in the

[1:03:14] past.

[1:03:15] You should get

[1:03:16] a special

[1:03:16] DVD-style

[1:03:18] commentary track

[1:03:19] from us,

[1:03:20] and of course,

[1:03:22] the unstoppable

[1:03:23] Cats, now and

[1:03:24] forever.

[1:03:24] Cats 1.

[1:03:25] We got the

[1:03:26] whole gang

[1:03:27] back together

[1:03:27] from our

[1:03:28] Cats episode

[1:03:28] to revisit

[1:03:29] it and watch

[1:03:31] it together.

[1:03:31] That's us

[1:03:32] plus Jenny Jaffe

[1:03:33] and Natalie

[1:03:34] Walker, and

[1:03:35] it was a lot

[1:03:36] of fun to

[1:03:37] record.

[1:03:37] Such a treat.

[1:03:38] Yeah, it

[1:03:38] was...

[1:03:39] Honestly, you

[1:03:41] know, we

[1:03:42] should, like,

[1:03:43] not even for

[1:03:44] the podcast, I

[1:03:45] would love to

[1:03:45] get together

[1:03:46] with those

[1:03:46] people and

[1:03:47] just watch

[1:03:47] Cats, but

[1:03:49] you get to...

[1:03:51] Dan, what

[1:03:51] you've just

[1:03:51] described is

[1:03:52] called Heaven,

[1:03:53] and we won't

[1:03:53] get it full

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:54] time until we

[1:03:55] die.

[1:03:55] That's

[1:03:55] true.

[1:03:55] Yeah.

[1:03:57] If we hit...

[1:03:58] And we have

[1:03:59] to die with

[1:04:00] sword in

[1:04:00] hand.

[1:04:01] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:03] If we hit...

[1:04:04] We come back

[1:04:05] either on our

[1:04:05] shield or

[1:04:06] watching Cats.

[1:04:07] Yeah.

[1:04:08] So, if the

[1:04:09] podcast hits

[1:04:11] 1,900 new

[1:04:14] or upgrading

[1:04:15] members, we'll

[1:04:16] do another

[1:04:16] raffle where

[1:04:17] we'll randomly

[1:04:18] pick some of

[1:04:19] those newer

[1:04:20] upgrading

[1:04:20] members to

[1:04:21] get personal

[1:04:21] Flophouse

[1:04:22] gifts.

[1:04:23] Some of you

[1:04:24] will get

[1:04:24] signed

[1:04:25] Maniac of

[1:04:25] New York

[1:04:26] copies from

[1:04:26] Elliot.

[1:04:28] Stuart has

[1:04:29] some swag

[1:04:31] he can give

[1:04:31] out.

[1:04:31] I got swag.

[1:04:33] And some

[1:04:33] others, in

[1:04:35] more ways than

[1:04:35] one, some

[1:04:36] others will

[1:04:36] get to tell

[1:04:37] me a scene

[1:04:38] from a

[1:04:38] favorite movie

[1:04:40] and I can

[1:04:42] do a

[1:04:42] personalized

[1:04:42] drawing for

[1:04:43] you.

[1:04:44] if we hit

[1:04:45] 2,300 new

[1:04:46] or upgrading

[1:04:47] members.

[1:04:48] And I

[1:04:48] think that

[1:04:48] that is

[1:04:49] totally

[1:04:49] possible.

[1:04:50] We'll also

[1:04:51] do a

[1:04:51] commentary for

[1:04:52] the film

[1:04:53] The Country

[1:04:53] Bears, also

[1:04:55] starring Christopher

[1:04:56] Walken, like

[1:04:56] The War with

[1:04:57] Grandpa.

[1:04:57] Perfect.

[1:04:59] Starring Christopher

[1:05:00] Walken.

[1:05:02] Bears.

[1:05:02] As one of the

[1:05:04] bears, I assume?

[1:05:04] As the war.

[1:05:06] He's the bad

[1:05:07] guy.

[1:05:08] Bears, of course,

[1:05:09] was the

[1:05:10] bracket runner

[1:05:11] up this year.

[1:05:12] There's a lot

[1:05:12] of heat around

[1:05:13] cats.

[1:05:14] I think we

[1:05:14] all could have

[1:05:14] expected that,

[1:05:15] but there were

[1:05:15] also a lot of

[1:05:16] cats doubters.

[1:05:17] I personally

[1:05:17] think they were

[1:05:18] wrong and the

[1:05:18] commentary turned

[1:05:20] out great, but

[1:05:21] if you were one

[1:05:21] of them.

[1:05:22] That was a good

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:22] pun, Dan, that

[1:05:22] there's a lot of

[1:05:23] heat around

[1:05:23] cats.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:25] Yes, sunlight

[1:05:27] and such.

[1:05:28] Sorry, I'm right

[1:05:29] in the middle of

[1:05:29] my...

[1:05:30] Anyway, continue

[1:05:31] your pitch.

[1:05:31] Yeah.

[1:05:33] If you doubted

[1:05:34] the cats

[1:05:35] commentary, now's

[1:05:37] your chance to

[1:05:37] back up your

[1:05:38] complaints with

[1:05:38] cold, hard

[1:05:39] cats, and

[1:05:39] cash, because

[1:05:40] you can get a

[1:05:41] different commentary

[1:05:41] if we had

[1:05:43] enough new

[1:05:45] and upgrading

[1:05:45] members.

[1:05:46] And lastly, if

[1:05:46] we hit our

[1:05:47] ultimate stretch

[1:05:48] goal of 3,500

[1:05:50] new or upgrading

[1:05:52] members, might be

[1:05:53] hard, but I

[1:05:54] don't know, maybe

[1:05:55] you can do it.

[1:05:56] We will commit

[1:05:57] to doing quarterly

[1:05:58] commentaries.

[1:05:59] That's four

[1:05:59] commentaries over

[1:06:00] and above the

[1:06:00] cats one we've

[1:06:02] done.

[1:06:02] So please, will

[1:06:04] you please join

[1:06:05] us as a member?

[1:06:06] There are many

[1:06:06] ways to help

[1:06:07] us and unlock

[1:06:09] content for you

[1:06:10] or someone

[1:06:11] else.

[1:06:11] You can join

[1:06:12] or upgrade or

[1:06:13] just boost by a

[1:06:15] few bucks between

[1:06:15] levels.

[1:06:17] All memberships

[1:06:18] at the $5 a

[1:06:19] month or more

[1:06:20] level get the

[1:06:21] bonus content.

[1:06:23] You can also get a

[1:06:24] gift membership for

[1:06:25] a friend or an

[1:06:26] anonymous max

[1:06:27] funster, and that

[1:06:28] recipient will get

[1:06:29] access to the bonus

[1:06:30] content.

[1:06:30] It's a nice way,

[1:06:33] maybe if someone

[1:06:33] else you know is a

[1:06:34] fan, but isn't in

[1:06:37] the financial place

[1:06:38] where they can

[1:06:38] become a member

[1:06:39] of themselves.

[1:06:39] This is a kind

[1:06:40] thing to do for

[1:06:42] someone else.

[1:06:42] So go to

[1:06:43] maximumfun.org

[1:06:44] join slash join.

[1:06:47] You know what I

[1:06:48] mean.

[1:06:48] Maximumfun.org

[1:06:49] slash join.

[1:06:50] I'll make sure you

[1:06:50] know right now.

[1:06:52] Pick the shows you

[1:06:52] listen to and the

[1:06:53] level of membership

[1:06:55] you feel you can

[1:06:56] afford, and we

[1:06:57] really thank you

[1:06:58] for your support.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:01] Well said, Dan.

[1:07:02] But Stuart, we

[1:07:03] should probably get

Dan McCoy

[1:07:04] back to the war

[1:07:05] with Grandpa.

[1:07:05] What's going on

[1:07:06] in that war?

[1:07:07] Well, there was a

[1:07:08] fucking crazy park

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:09] ranger chase, and

[1:07:10] the only answer, of

[1:07:10] course, is for

[1:07:11] Grandpa to take

[1:07:12] Peter to some

[1:07:12] houses he built and

[1:07:13] talk about how he

[1:07:14] hides things within

[1:07:15] the walls.

[1:07:17] And how everyone

S4

[1:07:18] does that.

[1:07:20] It's normal.

[1:07:21] In your home,

[1:07:22] it was awesome.

[1:07:24] It's full of

[1:07:24] skeletons.

[1:07:25] It was real, like,

[1:07:27] it had real Junji

[1:07:28] Ito, like, horror

[1:07:29] vibes.

[1:07:30] It was just like,

[1:07:31] yes, look at that

[1:07:32] chair.

[1:07:32] Yes, the chairmaker

[1:07:34] is in the chair.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:35] He is watching you

[1:07:37] grow up.

[1:07:37] Well, what he's

[1:07:38] saying is that he

[1:07:38] puts pictures of

[1:07:39] him and his wife

[1:07:40] in all the houses

[1:07:40] he built.

[1:07:41] So it's not as

[1:07:42] creepy as that, but

[1:07:43] yeah, it's a little

[1:07:44] creepy.

[1:07:45] It's up there.

[1:07:46] I mean, it's

[1:07:47] pretty creepy.

[1:07:48] It's creepier than

[1:07:48] putting nothing in

[1:07:49] the walls, which is

[1:07:50] what I would want.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:50] Guys, we haven't

[1:07:51] really talked about

[1:07:51] this, but who is

[1:07:52] the audience for

[1:07:53] War with Grandpa?

[1:07:54] Because if it's

[1:07:54] children, what

[1:07:55] they're basically

[1:07:56] saying is, hey,

[1:07:56] kids, start

[1:07:57] destroying your

[1:07:58] house.

[1:07:58] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:59] Start destroying

[1:08:00] your house.

[1:08:00] And destroying

[1:08:01] your elders.

[1:08:02] I hate to

[1:08:03] break it to you.

[1:08:05] What I like about

[1:08:06] it is they're

[1:08:06] giving kids a

[1:08:07] purpose for the

[1:08:08] destruction of the

[1:08:08] house that they

[1:08:09] are already

[1:08:09] embarked on.

[1:08:10] Because if a

[1:08:11] kid, I don't

[1:08:13] remember this part

[1:08:14] of being a

[1:08:14] child, but

[1:08:14] apparently children

[1:08:16] will occasionally

[1:08:17] just look at a

[1:08:18] thing and say,

[1:08:19] hmm, I wonder

[1:08:20] what that would

[1:08:20] look like if it

[1:08:21] was broken.

[1:08:21] And then they'll

[1:08:22] just walk over

[1:08:23] and they'll just

[1:08:23] break it.

[1:08:24] And then they'll

[1:08:25] say, hmm, that

[1:08:26] was satisfying.

[1:08:26] What else can I

[1:08:27] break in this

[1:08:28] place?

[1:08:28] You know, it's

[1:08:29] part of the

Dan McCoy

[1:08:29] scientific method,

[1:08:30] though.

[1:08:30] They have a

[1:08:31] hypothesis.

[1:08:32] hypothesis that

[1:08:32] it'll look a

[1:08:33] certain way if

[1:08:34] it's broken.

[1:08:34] And they have to

[1:08:35] test that hypothesis.

[1:08:36] Yeah.

S4

[1:08:36] Give them space,

[1:08:37] you know?

[1:08:38] Yeah.

[1:08:38] It's hard, but it's

[1:08:39] the right thing to

[1:08:40] do.

[1:08:43] I think that this

[1:08:44] movie is not

[1:08:45] made for young

[1:08:45] people.

[1:08:46] And you don't

[1:08:47] need much more

[1:08:47] evidence than

[1:08:48] that than the

[1:08:48] fact that Pete

[1:08:49] comes off as a

[1:08:50] really big piece

[1:08:53] of shit.

[1:08:54] Because if we

[1:08:56] are not

[1:08:56] characterizing this

[1:08:57] well enough to

[1:08:57] the people who

[1:08:58] have not watched

[1:08:59] the movie War

[1:09:00] with Grandpa,

[1:09:00] it is a

[1:09:01] thoroughly

[1:09:02] uneven contest.

[1:09:04] in that Pete

[1:09:06] will come in

[1:09:06] and destroy his

[1:09:07] collection of

[1:09:08] precious marbles

[1:09:09] that he has

[1:09:09] taken from the

[1:09:11] concrete of

[1:09:12] every home he's

[1:09:13] ever built and

[1:09:14] then spill them

[1:09:15] down a drain,

[1:09:17] never to be seen

[1:09:18] again.

[1:09:18] And then Robert

[1:09:19] De Niro's character

[1:09:20] will come in and

[1:09:21] make him read a

[1:09:22] doo-doo paper.

[1:09:23] Those two things are

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:25] not even remotely

[1:09:26] equivalent.

[1:09:28] Yeah, Pete will

[1:09:29] take Robert De

[1:09:29] Niro back in

[1:09:30] time to watch

[1:09:31] the car crash

[1:09:31] that killed his

[1:09:32] wife.

[1:09:33] Right, yes.

S4

[1:09:34] And say that he

[1:09:35] can change the

[1:09:36] past.

[1:09:37] He has the

[1:09:37] power, but he

[1:09:38] refuses to.

[1:09:39] He saves it for

[1:09:41] Minecraft.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:42] Robert De Niro's

[1:09:43] like, I glued

[1:09:43] your backpack

[1:09:44] shut.

[1:09:44] What do you

[1:09:44] think about

[1:09:45] that?

[1:09:45] And Pete's

[1:09:45] like, well, I

[1:09:46] put a microwave

[1:09:46] under your bed

[1:09:47] to make the

[1:09:47] pacemaker stop

[1:09:48] working in your

[1:09:49] body.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:53] So, at

[1:09:55] one, at

[1:09:56] like, after

[1:09:56] showing Peter

[1:09:58] these houses,

[1:09:58] there's a

[1:09:59] moment where

[1:09:59] you're like,

[1:09:59] oh, man,

[1:10:00] maybe they're

[1:10:00] friends.

[1:10:01] It's all a

[1:10:01] ruse.

[1:10:02] The war is

[1:10:02] still on.

[1:10:03] Don't worry,

[1:10:03] there's more

[1:10:04] movie to go,

[1:10:05] folks.

[1:10:06] So, really,

[1:10:07] the war is going

[1:10:08] to pause the war

[1:10:08] with us.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:08] As long as this

[1:10:10] movie involves

[1:10:11] a corpse,

[1:10:12] then I think

[1:10:12] we're okay.

[1:10:13] Oh, we're

[1:10:13] getting there.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:14] So, Peter

[1:10:15] stands up to

[1:10:16] his bully,

[1:10:16] and he gets

[1:10:17] beaten up for

[1:10:18] it.

[1:10:18] Then there's a

[1:10:19] funeral prank

[1:10:20] where he drops

[1:10:21] his phone.

[1:10:22] At this point,

[1:10:23] we know he's

[1:10:24] not to be

[1:10:24] trusted with

[1:10:25] any kind

[1:10:25] of technology.

[1:10:26] He throws

[1:10:27] his phone

[1:10:28] down the

[1:10:28] pants of a

[1:10:29] corpse,

[1:10:29] and then we

[1:10:30] have some

[1:10:30] serious,

[1:10:31] like,

[1:10:31] jackass-level

[1:10:32] corpse

[1:10:32] shenanigans.

[1:10:35] Which,

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:35] no one at the

[1:10:36] funeral does

[1:10:37] anything.

[1:10:37] They just

[1:10:38] stare at

[1:10:38] open-mouthed

[1:10:39] horror.

[1:10:39] She's sticking

[1:10:40] his hand up

[1:10:41] the way

[1:10:41] his legs

[1:10:41] away.

[1:10:41] The widow

[1:10:42] does faint.

[1:10:43] She does

[1:10:44] faint.

[1:10:45] You would

[1:10:45] expect maybe

[1:10:46] the dead

[1:10:46] man's son

[1:10:47] to come

[1:10:47] over and

[1:10:47] say,

[1:10:48] hey,

[1:10:48] could you

[1:10:48] please

[1:10:48] get your

[1:10:49] hands off

[1:10:50] my dad's

[1:10:50] body?

Dan McCoy

[1:10:51] Stop jerking

[1:10:52] one of my

[1:10:53] dad's legs

[1:10:54] upwards like

[1:10:56] you're trying to

[1:10:56] pump it

[1:10:57] like a well.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:59] I don't know

[1:10:59] about you guys.

[1:11:00] I've been to a

[1:11:00] few funerals.

[1:11:01] I kind of

[1:11:02] wish that they

[1:11:03] had more

[1:11:04] shenanigans.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:05] You gotta

[1:11:07] lighten the

[1:11:07] mood.

[1:11:09] What's wrong

[1:11:09] with funerals?

[1:11:10] Am I right?

[1:11:10] They're so

[1:11:11] depressing.

S4

[1:11:13] I want at my

[1:11:14] funeral,

[1:11:15] I want there

[1:11:15] to also be a

[1:11:16] screening of

[1:11:17] the war with

[1:11:17] them.

[1:11:18] And then when

[1:11:19] that scene

[1:11:19] comes up,

[1:11:20] people are

[1:11:20] gonna look at

[1:11:20] each other

[1:11:21] like,

[1:11:21] should we

[1:11:21] go live

[1:11:22] Griffin's

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:23] leg?

[1:11:23] Are we

[1:11:23] supposed to

[1:11:23] do that?

[1:11:24] Was this

[1:11:25] a clue?

[1:11:26] Is this

[1:11:26] some sort

[1:11:27] of map?

[1:11:28] Yeah.

[1:11:29] And the

[1:11:29] funeral home

[1:11:30] director will

[1:11:31] point to a

[1:11:31] sign that

[1:11:32] says,

[1:11:32] do not

[1:11:32] touch the

[1:11:33] body.

S4

[1:11:34] Yeah.

[1:11:35] And then

[1:11:35] someone's

[1:11:37] gonna make

[1:11:37] my grandson

[1:11:38] go and

[1:11:38] close the

[1:11:39] casket and

[1:11:39] he'll see

[1:11:39] my dick.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:41] And he'll

[1:11:42] just be

[1:11:42] horrified.

[1:11:43] And scream

[1:11:43] and scream

[1:11:44] and scream.

[1:11:45] And also

[1:11:46] the sign

[1:11:46] that says,

[1:11:47] do not

[1:11:47] touch the

[1:11:48] body is

[1:11:48] slightly

[1:11:49] misspelled.

[1:11:50] So people

[1:11:50] think,

[1:11:51] is that

[1:11:51] the clue?

S4

[1:11:52] Yeah.

[1:11:52] I just

[1:11:54] decided,

[1:11:55] and actually

[1:11:55] I'm gonna

[1:11:56] go ahead

[1:11:56] and say,

[1:11:57] I'll get a

[1:11:58] notary public

[1:11:58] to sign

[1:11:59] this podcast

[1:11:59] tomorrow,

[1:12:00] but this

[1:12:00] represents

[1:12:01] a living

[1:12:01] will.

[1:12:01] I want

[1:12:02] a war

[1:12:02] with

[1:12:02] grandpa

[1:12:03] funeral.

[1:12:04] This is a

[1:12:06] legally binding

[1:12:08] podcast.

[1:12:09] I want

[1:12:09] to have a

[1:12:10] war with

[1:12:10] grandpa

[1:12:10] themed

[1:12:11] funeral,

[1:12:11] please.

[1:12:12] Please,

[1:12:13] trampolines

[1:12:13] everywhere.

[1:12:14] I want

[1:12:15] a big tree

[1:12:15] to fall

[1:12:16] over on

[1:12:16] me.

[1:12:17] Cheech

[1:12:17] Marin,

[1:12:17] you're

[1:12:18] already

[1:12:18] contractually

[1:12:19] out.

[1:12:19] Cheech

[1:12:19] Marin,

[1:12:20] who will

[1:12:22] sadly

[1:12:22] outlive.

[1:12:25] Yeah,

[1:12:26] you never

[1:12:26] heard it

[1:12:26] for this

[1:12:27] funeral.

[1:12:28] Yes,

[1:12:28] dope for

[1:12:29] Cheech,

[1:12:30] dope for

[1:12:30] his future.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:32] You want

[1:12:32] a snake

[1:12:33] loose in

[1:12:33] the funeral?

[1:12:34] There's

[1:12:35] gotta be a

[1:12:35] snake.

[1:12:36] Okay,

[1:12:36] there's drones

[1:12:37] all over the

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:37] place.

[1:12:38] A bully

[1:12:39] gets

[1:12:39] comeuppance.

[1:12:42] They discuss

[1:12:43] a ceasefire

[1:12:44] during Jenny's

[1:12:45] Christmas-themed

[1:12:46] birthday.

[1:12:48] Then the

[1:12:48] old dogs,

[1:12:49] which is my

[1:12:50] term for

[1:12:51] the old

[1:12:52] men,

[1:12:53] throw the

[1:12:53] bully in

[1:12:54] the garbage

[1:12:54] can.

[1:12:55] There's a

[1:12:56] surprising

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:56] number of

[1:12:57] similarities

[1:12:57] between this

[1:12:58] and the

[1:12:58] Adam Project,

[1:12:59] the movie we

[1:13:00] last watched,

[1:13:00] which also

[1:13:01] involves a

[1:13:01] kid who

[1:13:02] is an

[1:13:02] a-hole

[1:13:02] and a

[1:13:03] bully

[1:13:04] being

[1:13:04] threatened

[1:13:05] by an

[1:13:06] older person.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:07] This bully

[1:13:08] is young,

[1:13:09] granted,

[1:13:10] but the

[1:13:11] degree to

[1:13:11] which he's

[1:13:11] threatened

[1:13:12] by these

[1:13:12] three elderly

[1:13:13] men is

[1:13:14] surprising to

[1:13:15] me.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:16] I don't

[1:13:16] know.

[1:13:16] I mean,

[1:13:17] they do,

[1:13:17] like,

[1:13:17] Christopher

[1:13:18] Walken

[1:13:18] gives,

[1:13:19] like,

[1:13:20] I don't

[1:13:20] know,

[1:13:20] like,

[1:13:21] he can be

[1:13:21] scary.

[1:13:21] I mean,

[1:13:22] I would

Dan McCoy

[1:13:22] be scared

[1:13:22] in the sense

[1:13:23] of,

[1:13:23] like,

[1:13:23] what the

[1:13:24] hell is

[1:13:24] happening?

[1:13:25] Why are

[1:13:25] three elderly

[1:13:26] men menacing

[1:13:27] me?

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:28] Wearing

[1:13:28] their caps

[1:13:29] backwards

[1:13:29] and wearing

[1:13:30] hoodies.

[1:13:30] But then,

Dan McCoy

[1:13:31] like,

[1:13:31] tossing him

[1:13:32] into the

[1:13:32] dumpster

[1:13:33] seems,

[1:13:33] I don't

[1:13:34] know.

[1:13:34] Anyway.

[1:13:35] I think

[1:13:35] the thing

[1:13:36] is,

[1:13:36] he looked

[1:13:37] like he

[1:13:37] wanted to

[1:13:38] go in

[1:13:38] the

[1:13:38] dumpster.

[1:13:39] Yeah,

[1:13:39] secretly.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:41] It's one of

[1:13:42] those scenarios

[1:13:42] where the

[1:13:43] frightening

[1:13:43] thing about

[1:13:44] it is how

[1:13:44] you know

[1:13:45] you can

[1:13:45] fight back,

[1:13:46] but you

[1:13:46] also can't

[1:13:47] because you

[1:13:47] don't want

[1:13:47] to hurt

[1:13:47] the other

[1:13:48] person.

[1:13:48] It's like

[1:13:48] any time

[1:13:49] Spider-Man

[1:13:50] is up

[1:13:50] against

[1:13:50] Flash

[1:13:51] Thompson

[1:13:51] and he's

[1:13:51] like,

[1:13:51] oh,

[1:13:52] I gotta

[1:13:52] pull my

[1:13:52] punches,

[1:13:53] the wrong

[1:13:53] punch,

[1:13:54] and I

[1:13:54] could kill

[1:13:54] Flash.

[1:13:55] he has

[1:13:56] to let

[1:13:56] Flash

[1:13:56] bully him

[1:13:57] or else

[1:13:58] everyone's

[1:13:58] going to

[1:13:58] know he's

[1:13:58] Spider-Man.

[1:13:59] That's why

[1:13:59] I think

[1:14:00] the bully

[1:14:00] in this

[1:14:00] is Spider-Man.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:01] Yeah,

[1:14:02] it's me,

[1:14:02] Havoc,

[1:14:02] if I use

[1:14:03] my powers,

[1:14:03] I'll kill

[1:14:04] that brood

[1:14:04] thing and

[1:14:05] that would

[1:14:05] suck.

[1:14:06] Even though

[1:14:07] it's a

[1:14:07] brood

[1:14:07] thing,

[1:14:08] he should

[1:14:08] whatever.

[1:14:09] Cannonball's

[1:14:09] like,

[1:14:10] I'm

[1:14:10] vulnerable

[1:14:10] as long

[1:14:11] as I'm

[1:14:11] blasting.

[1:14:14] Any more

[1:14:14] X-Men

[1:14:15] quotes?

[1:14:16] Sugar,

[1:14:17] I can't

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:17] touch you,

[1:14:18] I'll show

[1:14:18] up your

[1:14:18] memories.

[1:14:21] Oh,

[1:14:22] mon ami,

[1:14:23] yeah,

[1:14:23] I'll

[1:14:25] charge up

[1:14:27] these

[1:14:28] cards,

Dan McCoy

[1:14:28] I'm

[1:14:29] the best

[1:14:30] there is

[1:14:30] at getting

[1:14:30] claws in

[1:14:31] my hands.

[1:14:32] Let's do

[1:14:33] the fastball

[1:14:33] special.

[1:14:34] I'm from

[1:14:35] the future

[1:14:36] and I got

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:36] an M on

[1:14:36] my face.

[1:14:38] All these

Dan McCoy

[1:14:38] famous quotes.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:42] Okay.

[1:14:43] It's me,

[1:14:44] Marrow,

[1:14:44] from the

[1:14:45] 90s X-Men.

[1:14:46] Remember me?

[1:14:46] That was her

[1:14:47] catchphrase.

[1:14:47] Look at me,

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:48] chamber.

[1:14:48] I got a big

[1:14:49] hole in my

[1:14:50] middle.

[1:14:51] Boof.

[1:14:51] I'm somewhere

[1:14:52] else.

[1:14:53] Boof.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:53] Oh,

[1:14:54] wow,

[1:14:55] that's a

[1:14:55] thing.

[1:14:56] Hey,

[1:14:56] Boof from

[1:14:56] Teen Witch.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:58] Teen Wolf,

[1:14:59] Dan.

[1:14:59] Teen Wolf.

[1:15:00] Teen Wolf.

[1:15:00] Sorry.

[1:15:01] Okay.

[1:15:01] And after I

[1:15:02] texted with you

[1:15:02] about Teen Wolf

[1:15:03] just recently,

[1:15:04] this week.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:05] What was it

[1:15:06] that you found

[1:15:07] out that the

[1:15:07] Teen Wolf

[1:15:07] house is on

[1:15:08] your block

[1:15:08] or something?

[1:15:09] No,

[1:15:09] not on my

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:10] block,

[1:15:10] but that I

[1:15:10] live very

[1:15:11] close to the

[1:15:11] I live very

[1:15:14] close to a

[1:15:15] shooting location

[1:15:16] from Teen Wolf.

[1:15:17] Let's leave

[1:15:17] it at that.

S4

[1:15:20] You live

[1:15:21] inside the

[1:15:22] van that

[1:15:23] he served

[1:15:23] in.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:24] Alex,

[1:15:25] feel free

[1:15:25] to bleep

[1:15:26] a couple

[1:15:27] random words

[1:15:28] just to

[1:15:28] confuse the

[1:15:29] audience.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:30] Okay.

[1:15:31] So we

[1:15:33] are at the

[1:15:34] real climax

[1:15:35] of the movie.

[1:15:35] That's right.

[1:15:36] The dance

[1:15:38] scene from

[1:15:38] the movie

[1:15:38] climax.

[1:15:39] Now,

[1:15:39] there is a

[1:15:40] Christmas

[1:15:43] themed birthday

[1:15:43] party.

[1:15:44] They go all

[1:15:45] out.

[1:15:45] Everybody's

[1:15:46] dressed up

[1:15:46] like Christmasy

[1:15:47] shit.

[1:15:48] This is a

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:48] modern family

[1:15:49] level party,

[1:15:50] by which I

[1:15:51] mean it looks

[1:15:51] like only a

[1:15:52] production company

[1:15:53] could put this

[1:15:53] together.

[1:15:54] That's what I

S4

[1:15:54] wanted to say.

[1:15:54] A $150,000

[1:15:56] party.

[1:15:57] Exactly.

[1:15:57] Minimum.

[1:15:58] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:00] And,

[1:16:01] you know,

[1:16:02] everybody,

[1:16:02] every single

[1:16:03] character that

[1:16:03] has been in

[1:16:04] this movie,

[1:16:05] excluding the

[1:16:05] police officer

[1:16:06] who had the

[1:16:06] snake thrown

[1:16:07] on him,

[1:16:07] arrive at this

[1:16:08] party.

[1:16:09] Walken is

[1:16:10] dressed as

[1:16:10] Santa,

[1:16:11] and he's

[1:16:11] saying weird

[1:16:12] ass shit

[1:16:12] the whole

[1:16:13] time.

[1:16:13] It's

[1:16:13] terrifying.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:15] Walken's

[1:16:15] character,

[1:16:16] I think,

[1:16:16] is in

[1:16:16] late stage

[1:16:17] dementia

[1:16:17] by the

[1:16:18] end of

[1:16:18] the movie.

[1:16:18] Like,

[1:16:18] the things

[1:16:19] he says

[1:16:19] doesn't

[1:16:19] make sense.

[1:16:20] I mean,

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:20] he just

[1:16:21] lost a

[1:16:22] friend.

[1:16:22] I mean,

[1:16:22] you should

[1:16:22] feel bad

[1:16:23] for him.

[1:16:24] So,

[1:16:24] he's dressed

[1:16:25] up as

[1:16:25] Santa,

[1:16:25] and he's

[1:16:25] sitting on

[1:16:26] a booby-trapped

[1:16:26] chair,

[1:16:27] so we have

[1:16:27] a ticking

[1:16:27] time bomb.

[1:16:28] Pranks

[1:16:29] start to

[1:16:29] get out

[1:16:30] of control.

[1:16:31] It ruins

[1:16:32] the birthday

[1:16:32] Christmas party,

[1:16:33] and then the

[1:16:34] tree that we

[1:16:35] had talked

[1:16:35] about previously

[1:16:36] needing to

[1:16:37] be cut down

[1:16:37] falls down

[1:16:38] on its own,

[1:16:39] tearing

[1:16:39] off a

[1:16:40] chunk

[1:16:40] of the

[1:16:41] house.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:42] Now,

[1:16:42] here's,

[1:16:42] so,

[1:16:43] both

[1:16:44] characters

[1:16:44] are so

[1:16:45] convinced

[1:16:45] that they

[1:16:46] are about

[1:16:46] to be

[1:16:46] pranked

[1:16:47] that it

[1:16:47] leads them

[1:16:47] into

[1:16:48] situations

[1:16:48] where they

[1:16:49] do the

[1:16:49] wrong

[1:16:50] thing,

[1:16:50] and it

[1:16:50] causes

[1:16:50] prank-like

[1:16:51] effects.

[1:16:52] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:54] There's a

[1:16:55] lesson there.

S4

[1:16:57] And the

[1:16:57] lesson is

[1:16:58] don't mess

[1:16:58] with grandpa.

[1:16:59] What do you

[1:17:00] guys think

[1:17:00] about

[1:17:00] Calvinism?

[1:17:01] Let's

[1:17:01] really dive

[1:17:02] into it.

[1:17:05] Predestination,

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:06] or you

[1:17:07] want to?

[1:17:08] I was

[1:17:08] thinking about

[1:17:09] this not

[1:17:10] too long

[1:17:10] ago,

[1:17:10] the idea

[1:17:11] that,

[1:17:11] what a

[1:17:12] dick move

[1:17:13] for Calvin

[1:17:13] to be like,

[1:17:14] hey,

[1:17:14] it doesn't

[1:17:14] matter what

[1:17:15] you do

[1:17:15] in life,

[1:17:16] God decided

[1:17:17] the moment

[1:17:17] you were

[1:17:17] born who

[1:17:18] was going

[1:17:18] to be

[1:17:18] saved,

[1:17:19] and I'm

[1:17:19] one of

[1:17:20] them.

[1:17:20] I'm

[1:17:21] saved,

[1:17:21] and you're

[1:17:21] not.

[1:17:22] It's like,

[1:17:22] wait a minute,

[1:17:23] and everyone

[1:17:23] was like,

[1:17:24] I guess he's

[1:17:24] right.

[1:17:25] Is that why

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:27] he's always

[1:17:27] peeing on

[1:17:28] logos of

[1:17:29] brands?

[1:17:30] He can do

[1:17:30] whatever he

[1:17:31] wants.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:31] He's going

[1:17:32] to heaven

[1:17:32] anyway.

[1:17:33] Calvin said

[1:17:33] it himself,

[1:17:34] God put

[1:17:34] him on

[1:17:34] earth to

[1:17:34] do a

[1:17:35] certain

[1:17:35] number

[1:17:35] of

[1:17:35] things,

[1:17:35] and he's

[1:17:36] taking so

[1:17:36] long,

[1:17:36] he'll never

[1:17:37] die.

[1:17:39] Calvin has a

[1:17:40] very comfortable

[1:17:41] relationship with

[1:17:41] God.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:42] Stu,

[1:17:43] did you

[1:17:43] mention that

[1:17:44] when the

[1:17:44] hole is

[1:17:45] ripped in

[1:17:45] the house,

[1:17:46] it is

[1:17:46] revealed that

[1:17:47] the daughter

[1:17:49] is up with

[1:17:49] the boyfriend?

[1:17:51] I didn't

[1:17:51] mention it,

[1:17:52] but it's

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:52] true,

[1:17:52] and it

[1:17:53] drives

[1:17:53] Uma Thurman

[1:17:54] mad,

[1:17:55] which,

[1:17:56] you know,

[1:17:56] for me,

[1:17:57] somebody who

[1:17:58] grew up

[1:17:58] watching late

[1:18:00] night sex

[1:18:00] comedies,

[1:18:02] having somebody

[1:18:03] stand up

[1:18:04] shocked when

[1:18:05] a chunk of

[1:18:05] a wall gets

[1:18:06] ripped down,

[1:18:08] that's cool.

[1:18:09] That takes me

[1:18:09] back.

[1:18:10] Normally,

[1:18:10] there's topless

[1:18:11] people,

[1:18:11] but luckily,

[1:18:12] there's no

[1:18:12] topless people

[1:18:13] in this,

[1:18:13] because we're

[1:18:13] talking about

[1:18:14] underage people.

[1:18:14] Talking about

[1:18:14] the war with

[1:18:15] grandpa.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:16] Underage people.

[1:18:17] I mean,

[1:18:17] grandpa's

[1:18:17] topless in

[1:18:18] the earlier

[1:18:19] scene with

[1:18:19] shaving cream.

[1:18:20] And bottom

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:20] I am shocked

[1:18:21] that the tree

[1:18:22] didn't rip

[1:18:23] grandpa's

[1:18:23] pants down.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:26] Everybody

[1:18:27] faints,

[1:18:30] his ghost

[1:18:30] comes out,

[1:18:31] his head

[1:18:31] catches fire

[1:18:32] like in the

[1:18:33] green night.

[1:18:33] Faints back

[1:18:34] into his body.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:38] Okay,

[1:18:38] so I think

[1:18:39] we can all

[1:18:40] agree that-

[1:18:40] And then everybody

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:40] starts pulling

[1:18:40] down their

[1:18:41] pants in

[1:18:41] solidarity to

[1:18:42] show that

[1:18:42] they also

[1:18:43] stand with

[1:18:44] grandpa.

[1:18:44] Oh,

[1:18:45] I'm Spartacus.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:45] Yeah,

[1:18:46] at this point,

[1:18:46] we can all

[1:18:47] agree that the

[1:18:47] pranks have

[1:18:48] gotten out of

[1:18:48] control,

[1:18:49] right?

[1:18:50] By the way,

S4

[1:18:53] the boy

[1:18:55] rigged an

[1:18:58] ejector seat.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:00] Oh,

[1:19:00] he was going

[1:19:00] to kill his

[1:19:01] own grandfather.

[1:19:01] There's no-

S4

[1:19:02] It would have

[1:19:03] undoubtedly killed

[1:19:06] his grandfather,

[1:19:06] but does he

[1:19:09] work for fucking

[1:19:10] the Mission

[1:19:11] Impossible team?

[1:19:13] Like,

[1:19:13] where does he get

[1:19:13] out of his

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:14] wonderful toy?

[1:19:15] Yeah,

[1:19:15] did he steal

[1:19:16] the airbag

[1:19:17] from his

[1:19:17] parents'

[1:19:18] car?

Dan McCoy

[1:19:19] Yeah.

[1:19:20] By the end

[1:19:22] of the movie,

[1:19:22] he is,

[1:19:23] yes,

[1:19:23] a psychotic

[1:19:24] mastermind.

[1:19:26] Yeah.

[1:19:27] Yeah,

[1:19:27] he's-

[1:19:27] And that's why

[1:19:28] this is the

[1:19:28] prequel to the

[1:19:29] Saw movies.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:30] Yeah,

[1:19:30] that's Jigsaw

[1:19:30] as a kid.

[1:19:31] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:31] Oh,

[1:19:32] man,

[1:19:32] like Kevin

[1:19:32] Muscat-

[1:19:33] Oh,

[1:19:34] fuck.

[1:19:35] What?

[1:19:36] I was trying to

[1:19:36] say Kevin

[1:19:37] McAllister,

[1:19:37] and I fucked

[1:19:38] it up,

[1:19:38] Tim.

[1:19:39] And you

[1:19:39] started saying

[1:19:39] David

[1:19:40] Miscavige,

[1:19:40] who was a

[1:19:41] different person.

[1:19:41] much more

Dan McCoy

[1:19:44] libelous,

[1:19:45] too.

S4

[1:19:46] Yeah,

[1:19:46] that's very true.

[1:19:46] We've made a lot

[1:19:47] of Home Alone

[1:19:47] comparisons to this

[1:19:48] podcast,

[1:19:49] and I want to

[1:19:49] make it abundantly

[1:19:50] clear that this

[1:19:51] film would be

[1:19:52] like in Home

[1:19:53] Alone if Uncle

[1:19:55] Frank permanently

[1:19:56] moved in with

[1:19:56] the family,

[1:19:57] and then Kevin

[1:19:58] McAllister tried

[1:19:59] to kill his

[1:20:00] whole family with

[1:20:01] micromachines,

[1:20:02] and broken glass,

[1:20:04] and paint cans,

[1:20:05] and bricks,

[1:20:06] and a blow

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:07] torch at one

[1:20:08] point.

[1:20:09] We mention,

[1:20:10] we've been

[1:20:11] mentioning,

[1:20:11] Home Alone

[1:20:12] quite a bit,

[1:20:12] and I think

[1:20:13] we need to

[1:20:14] make it clear

[1:20:14] that Home Alone

[1:20:15] is way better

[1:20:16] of a movie.

[1:20:18] Oh,

[1:20:18] sure.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:19] Okay,

[1:20:19] so.

[1:20:20] Even though

[1:20:20] we watched

[1:20:21] Home Alone

[1:20:21] not that long

[1:20:22] ago with my

[1:20:22] older son,

[1:20:23] and he was

[1:20:23] really enjoying

[1:20:24] it until

[1:20:24] Daniel Stern

[1:20:25] stepped on

[1:20:25] those nails,

[1:20:26] and then

[1:20:27] that was a

[1:20:27] point where

[1:20:27] he was like,

[1:20:28] too much.

[1:20:28] Agreed.

[1:20:29] Don't like,

[1:20:30] don't like.

[1:20:30] A little gnarly.

[1:20:31] Yeah.

[1:20:31] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:32] Yeah,

[1:20:33] it's like the

[1:20:33] eyeball scene

[1:20:35] in what,

[1:20:36] in Zombie?

[1:20:37] Is that the movie

[1:20:38] where the nails

[1:20:39] from Shannon DeLew?

Dan McCoy

[1:20:41] Everything's fun

[1:20:42] and games

[1:20:42] in Zombie

[1:20:43] until the eyeball scene.

[1:20:45] I mean,

[1:20:45] there's a zombie

[1:20:46] versus shark fight.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:48] Yeah.

[1:20:48] When I was watching

[1:20:48] Zombie with my

[1:20:49] older son,

[1:20:50] he also was

[1:20:50] totally cool with it

[1:20:51] until the eyeball scene.

[1:20:52] Yeah,

[1:20:52] that was too much,

[1:20:54] he said.

[1:20:54] Too much.

[1:20:56] No,

[1:20:56] no,

[1:20:56] thank you.

[1:20:57] So,

[1:20:57] uh,

[1:20:58] he was totally

[1:20:58] with Suspiria

[1:20:59] until that last part.

[1:21:01] Then he said,

[1:21:01] no,

[1:21:01] I can't handle.

[1:21:03] Yeah,

[1:21:03] yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:04] Yeah,

[1:21:05] I'm tapping out here,

[1:21:06] dad.

[1:21:06] An explosion of blood

Dan McCoy

[1:21:07] for like 20 minutes?

[1:21:08] The new one?

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:10] Yeah,

[1:21:10] they're watching

[1:21:11] the new one,

[1:21:12] of course,

[1:21:12] because he's really

[1:21:13] into it.

[1:21:13] He's a big fan

[1:21:14] of the way

[1:21:14] that Luca Guadagino

[1:21:15] just creates

[1:21:16] these worlds

[1:21:17] that feel very tactile.

[1:21:18] My older son,

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:19] he loved,

[1:21:19] he loved Call Me

[1:21:20] by Your Name

[1:21:20] so much

[1:21:21] that he was like,

[1:21:22] I want to see

[1:21:22] everything he does.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:23] That's the thing.

[1:21:24] He was like,

[1:21:25] a bigger splash

[1:21:25] is really cool

[1:21:26] because I love

[1:21:27] the way that

[1:21:27] Rafe Bunn's character

[1:21:28] is just like,

[1:21:29] exactly captures

[1:21:30] that specific type

[1:21:32] of baby boomer

[1:21:32] who's obsessed

[1:21:33] with the Rolling Stones.

[1:21:37] So,

[1:21:38] Grandpa gets confronted

[1:21:40] by Sally,

[1:21:41] his daughter,

[1:21:41] and she's like,

[1:21:42] I've had it up to here

[1:21:44] with all these pranks

[1:21:45] and he's like,

[1:21:45] you knew about that?

[1:21:46] It's like,

[1:21:46] no shit.

[1:21:48] Everybody fucking

[1:21:49] knows about it.

[1:21:50] Everything was exploding

[1:21:51] for a while.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:53] It's the same way,

[1:21:54] I think old men

[1:21:55] and kids,

[1:21:56] it's the same way

[1:21:57] where they assume

[1:21:57] they're getting

[1:21:58] everything by their parents

[1:21:59] and their parents

[1:21:59] are aware of

[1:22:00] every single thing

[1:22:01] that they're doing.

[1:22:02] Then like,

[1:22:02] when you're like

[1:22:03] a 13-year-old boy

[1:22:04] and you're like,

[1:22:05] nobody knows

[1:22:06] I'm masturbating

[1:22:07] in here,

[1:22:07] it's like,

[1:22:08] everyone knows.

[1:22:08] The dog knows,

[1:22:09] the mailman knows.

[1:22:11] Like,

[1:22:11] everyone's aware of it.

[1:22:12] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:13] So,

[1:22:14] she goes to,

[1:22:16] Sally goes

[1:22:16] to tell her family

[1:22:18] that Grandpa

[1:22:19] has survived

[1:22:20] his injuries.

[1:22:22] A tree falls on him

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:23] and he's just sitting

[1:22:24] there in the hospital

[1:22:24] with an ice pack

[1:22:25] on his knee.

[1:22:26] Like,

[1:22:26] it's amazing.

[1:22:27] That's quite a scrape

S4

[1:22:28] you've got there.

[1:22:30] So,

[1:22:31] in your heart

[1:22:33] that the tree crush

[1:22:34] and your liver

[1:22:35] and lungs

[1:22:36] and ribs

[1:22:37] and spine.

[1:22:38] Oh,

[1:22:38] when I said scrape,

[1:22:39] I meant you're dead.

[1:22:40] What did I say?

Dan McCoy

[1:22:41] Did I neglect

[1:22:42] to tell you

[1:22:43] that this healthy body

[1:22:44] you're seeing

[1:22:44] is a holographic projection

[1:22:46] that we've created?

[1:22:47] Yeah.

[1:22:47] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:48] it's lucky

[1:22:48] that after that tree

[1:22:50] landed on you,

[1:22:51] your friend,

[1:22:51] dressed as Santa Claus,

[1:22:52] was killed

[1:22:53] by your grandson

[1:22:53] so we could sew

[1:22:54] your head

[1:22:54] to his body.

[1:22:56] That was the thing.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:58] When Christopher Walken

[1:22:59] gets up and walks away,

[1:23:00] I'm like,

[1:23:00] is this like

[1:23:01] when the weasel's ghosts

[1:23:02] leave their bodies

[1:23:03] and brush a rabbit?

[1:23:07] Chris,

[1:23:07] that was a great,

[1:23:08] great Santa Claus day.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:09] Yeah,

[1:23:09] but I can only do it once.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:13] So Sally is telling

[1:23:15] her family the news

[1:23:16] when she sees out

[1:23:17] the window

[1:23:17] that Russell,

[1:23:18] her daughter's boyfriend,

[1:23:19] has showed up

[1:23:20] and she fucking

[1:23:22] loses it.

[1:23:24] How dare he go

[1:23:25] to visit her grandfather

[1:23:26] in the hospital?

[1:23:27] What a bad boy.

[1:23:28] She,

[1:23:29] yeah,

[1:23:29] she cannot handle this

[1:23:30] so she chases him around

[1:23:32] what seems to be

[1:23:33] his convertible

[1:23:35] and that's the point

[1:23:36] when I lost

[1:23:36] any sympathy for him

[1:23:38] because I'm like,

[1:23:38] a teenage boy

[1:23:39] should not be able

[1:23:40] to drive this car.

[1:23:42] And then she,

[1:23:43] she chases him

[1:23:44] around the car

[1:23:44] for a while

[1:23:45] and then she reveals

[1:23:46] that she has

[1:23:46] a secret tactic.

[1:23:47] That's right,

[1:23:48] she just climbs

[1:23:48] over the car

[1:23:49] and then tackles

[1:23:50] a teenage boy

[1:23:51] to the ground

[1:23:52] before saying,

[1:23:53] you know what?

[1:23:54] Should we mention

[1:23:54] she's dressed as

[1:23:55] Mrs. Claus

[1:23:55] this whole time also?

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:57] Yeah,

[1:23:57] I guess that,

[1:23:58] I guess that relates.

[1:23:59] Yeah.

[1:24:00] It just adds

[1:24:01] to the strangeness

[1:24:02] of the moment.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:03] And the erotic

[1:24:04] frisson

[1:24:05] of being beaten up

[1:24:06] by Mrs. Claus.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:08] I mean,

[1:24:08] that's the other thing

[1:24:09] though is,

[1:24:09] is any,

[1:24:10] is,

[1:24:11] you know,

[1:24:11] even if she is,

[1:24:12] her,

[1:24:12] her is,

[1:24:13] his girlfriend's mom

[1:24:14] to be jumped on

[1:24:14] by Uma Thurman

[1:24:15] dressed in a,

[1:24:16] as Mrs. Claus

[1:24:17] is,

[1:24:18] I'm sure some,

[1:24:18] some teen kids fantasy.

[1:24:20] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:20] So instead of,

[1:24:22] I guess,

[1:24:22] killing him

[1:24:23] or beating him up,

[1:24:24] she decides,

[1:24:25] no,

[1:24:25] I'm going to forgive

[1:24:26] this floppy haired beau

[1:24:27] and,

[1:24:28] for nothing,

[1:24:29] for nothing,

[1:24:30] for existing,

[1:24:30] for living

[1:24:31] and earning

[1:24:32] the affection

[1:24:33] of her daughter.

[1:24:33] She,

[1:24:34] he is allowed

[1:24:34] to enter my daughter's life.

[1:24:36] She doesn't want

[1:24:37] to lose her daughter

[1:24:37] over this turn

[1:24:38] or cool dude.

[1:24:39] I don't know.

[1:24:40] We don't know

[1:24:40] anything about him.

[1:24:42] Um,

[1:24:43] and then,

[1:24:44] uh,

[1:24:44] when they go back,

[1:24:45] they've been distracted.

[1:24:46] I feel like Russell

[1:24:47] showing up,

[1:24:48] I feel like Grandpa

[1:24:49] texted Russell

[1:24:49] to show up

[1:24:50] so it would distract them

[1:24:51] so that Grandpa

[1:24:52] could sneak away

[1:24:53] for a minute

[1:24:54] to,

[1:24:55] to like,

[1:24:56] move all his shit out.

[1:24:57] Like,

[1:24:58] he moves very fast

[1:24:59] for an old person.

[1:25:00] Yeah,

[1:25:01] he sure does.

[1:25:02] Uh,

[1:25:02] so he's moved

[1:25:02] all his shit out

[1:25:03] and then he's just

[1:25:04] hanging around

[1:25:04] a house he built.

[1:25:06] They track him down,

[1:25:08] convince him to stay

[1:25:09] and he's like,

[1:25:09] okay,

[1:25:10] I'll stay anyway.

[1:25:11] Uh,

[1:25:11] he agrees to stay

[1:25:13] and then,

[1:25:13] but he can't hang out

[1:25:14] with his grandson

[1:25:15] because he has a date

[1:25:16] with Jane Seymour

[1:25:17] and Peter's like,

[1:25:19] uh-oh,

[1:25:20] it looks like a war

[1:25:21] with Grandma

[1:25:21] and that's the end

[1:25:22] of the movie.

[1:25:23] the,

[1:25:24] the,

[1:25:24] I will

[1:25:25] think about

[1:25:26] the last shot

[1:25:27] of this movie

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:27] every day

[1:25:28] until the day of my death.

[1:25:29] It's like a fucking,

[1:25:30] it's like the omen.

[1:25:32] Yeah,

[1:25:32] it's when the movie

[1:25:33] stops being

[1:25:34] the war with Grandpa

[1:25:35] and it becomes

[1:25:35] we have to talk about Kevin.

[1:25:36] Like,

[1:25:37] that's what this movie,

[1:25:38] the look on that kid's face

[1:25:39] is pure satanic

[1:25:41] just sociopathy.

[1:25:43] He's so,

[1:25:44] so angry,

[1:25:45] like,

[1:25:45] ready for violence,

[1:25:46] you know.

S4

[1:25:47] Have you guys,

[1:25:48] hey,

[1:25:48] have you guys had,

[1:25:49] have you guys,

[1:25:50] I know you've been

[1:25:50] doing the podcast a lot

[1:25:51] and you turn out

[1:25:51] a lot of content.

[1:25:52] Have you,

[1:25:52] have you been able

[1:25:53] to do a,

[1:25:55] the,

[1:25:55] we have to talk

[1:25:56] about Kevin.

[1:25:59] Have you done

[1:26:00] that joke yet?

[1:26:01] No,

[1:26:01] no,

[1:26:01] no.

[1:26:01] Have you done that joke

[1:26:02] yet?

[1:26:02] Have you done that joke

[1:26:03] yet?

[1:26:04] Yeah.

[1:26:04] Okay.

[1:26:05] Well,

[1:26:05] you can use that,

[1:26:06] guys.

[1:26:06] Oh,

[1:26:07] thank you.

[1:26:07] Next time,

[1:26:08] next time that pops up,

[1:26:09] you just use that.

[1:26:10] You don't even have

[1:26:11] to credit me.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:12] We'll do a drop.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:16] So,

[1:26:16] then we get some bloops.

[1:26:18] We get a music video

[1:26:19] where the cast

[1:26:20] sing a song.

[1:26:22] At that point,

[1:26:23] I assume they're all

[1:26:24] Disney Channel kids,

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:25] but I don't know.

[1:26:26] Yeah,

[1:26:26] the older daughter

[1:26:28] sings a cover of

[1:26:29] War,

[1:26:30] What Is It Good For?

[1:26:31] Because this is when

[1:26:31] the movie has its message

[1:26:33] that war is not good.

[1:26:34] Yeah.

[1:26:35] What?

[1:26:37] It looks pretty fucking fun,

[1:26:39] man.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:39] I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:40] It solved all the family's problems.

[1:26:42] Snakes,

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:42] multiple Robert De Niro dicks.

[1:26:44] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:46] It is a mixed message at best.

[1:26:48] Now,

[1:26:48] when you say,

[1:26:49] you mean multiple times

[1:26:50] that Robert De Niro's dick

[1:26:51] is seen,

[1:26:52] not that he has multiple dicks,

[1:26:53] although maybe that's what

[1:26:54] horrified Rob Riggle so much

[1:26:55] is that there are two or three.

[1:26:56] Alan Tudyk,

Dan McCoy

[1:26:57] who has two,

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:58] as we all know,

[1:26:58] dicks.

[1:26:58] We know it in his name,

[1:26:59] yeah.

[1:27:00] Yeah.

[1:27:01] Guys,

[1:27:02] It would be amazing.

[1:27:02] What if Alan Tudyk

[1:27:03] was descended from

[1:27:05] like a medieval

[1:27:05] sideshow performer

[1:27:07] who had two minutes?

Dan McCoy

[1:27:08] This was an old fucking

[1:27:11] Twitter joke of mine

[1:27:13] where it's like,

[1:27:13] we're like a dick

[1:27:15] eating its own tail.

[1:27:16] His ancestors were,

[1:27:18] Glovers

[1:27:18] and Jessica Fletcher,

[1:27:21] you know,

[1:27:22] but then Alan Tudyk,

[1:27:23] two dicks.

[1:27:24] So guys,

[1:27:25] do you want to go back

[1:27:26] and start talking about

[1:27:27] I like that you threw

[1:27:27] a fictional character in there.

[1:27:28] I just couldn't think of,

[1:27:29] I don't think that was in the,

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:30] do you want to go back

[1:27:31] and start talking about

[1:27:32] War with Grandpa

[1:27:33] from the beginning?

[1:27:34] Oh, yeah,

[1:27:34] sure, sure,

[1:27:35] yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:35] Let's,

[1:27:36] so traditionally

[1:27:37] and today is no exception,

[1:27:40] we do final judgment

[1:27:42] where we decide,

[1:27:45] where we give our opinions

[1:27:46] on whether this was

[1:27:47] a good bad movie,

[1:27:49] a movie that's enjoyable

[1:27:50] to watch because it's bad,

[1:27:51] a bad bad movie,

[1:27:52] a movie that lacks value,

[1:27:55] or a movie that we liked,

[1:27:58] you know,

[1:27:58] a movie that we'll stick up

[1:27:59] for in some way.

[1:28:01] I'm going to kick us off

[1:28:02] by saying,

[1:28:04] Very brave.

[1:28:06] this movie,

[1:28:08] well,

[1:28:09] among other things,

[1:28:10] like,

[1:28:10] there's like this weird,

[1:28:11] bad message

[1:28:14] of a lot of

[1:28:15] sort of

[1:28:16] family,

[1:28:17] quote,

[1:28:18] friendly movies,

[1:28:19] like,

[1:28:19] this,

[1:28:20] this movie is the sort

[1:28:21] of movie that,

[1:28:22] like,

[1:28:23] people would be like,

[1:28:24] oh,

[1:28:24] you know,

[1:28:25] this is fun for the whole family,

[1:28:27] it's good to have a good

[1:28:28] old-fashioned movie

[1:28:28] where there's nothing

[1:28:29] offensive about it,

[1:28:30] and I watch movies

[1:28:31] often in that,

[1:28:33] you know,

[1:28:33] like,

[1:28:34] genus of type of film

[1:28:35] and I'm like,

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:36] no,

[1:28:37] this is full of terrible

[1:28:38] messages.

[1:28:39] Give me another example.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:40] I'm not going to.

[1:28:41] This is full of

[1:28:42] terrible messages,

[1:28:43] like,

[1:28:44] request for information

[1:28:46] rejected.

[1:28:47] children and grandparents

[1:28:48] should fight,

[1:28:49] or,

[1:28:50] I mean,

[1:28:50] more so,

[1:28:51] like,

[1:28:52] you know,

[1:28:52] a lot of these

[1:28:52] family movies,

[1:28:53] I don't have a specific

[1:28:54] example,

[1:28:55] but,

[1:28:55] like,

[1:28:56] they do have,

[1:28:56] like,

[1:28:57] regressive sort of

[1:28:58] viewpoints,

[1:28:59] like,

[1:29:00] boy,

[1:29:01] teen should be,

[1:29:03] you know,

[1:29:04] hated for crime

[1:29:06] of dating girl

[1:29:08] who wants to date

[1:29:09] this boy,

[1:29:10] like,

[1:29:10] who has her own

[1:29:11] autonomy,

[1:29:12] and,

[1:29:12] like,

[1:29:12] just,

[1:29:13] like,

[1:29:13] the idea of,

[1:29:13] like,

[1:29:13] we have to protect

[1:29:14] this,

[1:29:14] I mean,

[1:29:15] like,

[1:29:15] obviously,

[1:29:15] at the end,

[1:29:16] Uma Thurman,

[1:29:18] changes her mind

[1:29:18] on that,

[1:29:19] but it's played

[1:29:19] for laughs

[1:29:20] throughout the whole

[1:29:20] movie,

[1:29:21] like,

[1:29:21] you know,

[1:29:22] you know how it is,

[1:29:23] we all agree,

[1:29:24] right,

[1:29:24] that we want to,

[1:29:25] like,

[1:29:25] control our children's

[1:29:26] lives,

[1:29:27] and,

[1:29:27] and these.

[1:29:28] None of them are good,

S4

[1:29:29] none of them are good

[1:29:30] role models.

[1:29:31] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[1:29:32] Any of the characters

[1:29:32] in this film.

[1:29:33] So that part sucks,

[1:29:34] and also,

[1:29:35] if we have done our job

[1:29:36] well as podcasters,

[1:29:37] this movie sounded

[1:29:38] fun in some way,

[1:29:41] enjoyably strange,

[1:29:42] and it is strange

[1:29:44] to dissect with,

[1:29:45] with,

[1:29:46] with pals,

[1:29:47] but I would say

[1:29:49] that this movie

[1:29:50] slid off my brain

[1:29:53] faster than almost

[1:29:54] anything,

[1:29:55] like,

[1:29:55] in the course of

[1:29:56] watching it,

[1:29:56] I am,

[1:29:57] like,

[1:29:57] if you want to

[1:29:59] lose time,

[1:29:59] if you want to

[1:30:00] experience what a

[1:30:01] blackout is,

[1:30:02] like,

[1:30:02] why is it 90

[1:30:04] minutes later than

[1:30:05] it was before?

[1:30:06] Oh,

[1:30:07] I watched War with

[1:30:07] Grandpa,

[1:30:08] and I've forgotten

[1:30:08] all of it.

[1:30:09] So,

[1:30:10] I'll say bad,

[1:30:11] bad.

S4

[1:30:12] it's grounding

[1:30:13] to me to have

[1:30:14] this experience

[1:30:15] to talk about

[1:30:15] this movie with

[1:30:16] you all,

[1:30:16] because I'm,

[1:30:18] I'm,

[1:30:18] I have not been

[1:30:19] in the best

[1:30:19] headspace,

[1:30:20] like,

[1:30:20] today,

[1:30:21] I'm tired,

[1:30:22] and there's a lot

[1:30:23] of stressful

[1:30:23] stuff going on,

[1:30:24] and then I

[1:30:24] watched this movie

[1:30:25] while I,

[1:30:26] was,

[1:30:26] like,

[1:30:27] watching my,

[1:30:27] my baby,

[1:30:29] and I can do

[1:30:30] both,

[1:30:31] get off my back,

[1:30:32] and I can,

[1:30:33] I can have it all,

[1:30:34] you know,

[1:30:35] and then,

[1:30:36] and it ended,

[1:30:38] and I did feel

[1:30:39] like,

[1:30:40] did I,

[1:30:41] inter,

[1:30:42] did I watch that?

[1:30:43] Did I have

[1:30:43] inter a few

[1:30:44] stay and watch it?

[1:30:45] And,

[1:30:45] like,

[1:30:45] the thing,

[1:30:46] it was the Rob

[1:30:47] Riggle storyline,

[1:30:49] not having any,

[1:30:51] kind of,

[1:30:52] You're like,

[1:30:52] well,

[1:30:52] if this was a movie

[1:30:53] I didn't imagine,

[1:30:54] they would have

[1:30:54] concluded that

[1:30:55] in some way.

[1:30:56] That was,

[1:30:57] like,

[1:30:57] what gaslit me

[1:30:58] a little bit,

[1:30:59] where I was like,

[1:30:59] no joke,

[1:31:00] did I really,

[1:31:01] did I really

[1:31:02] pay attention

[1:31:03] to this movie,

[1:31:03] or did I,

[1:31:04] at some point,

[1:31:04] just,

[1:31:05] like,

[1:31:05] really black out

[1:31:06] and miss the

[1:31:07] resolution of that

[1:31:07] storyline,

[1:31:08] and,

[1:31:09] uh,

[1:31:10] Movies have set up

Dan McCoy

[1:31:11] some payoffs,

[1:31:11] surely.

[1:31:12] Right,

[1:31:13] of course.

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:13] Yeah,

[1:31:14] every once in a while

[1:31:15] when we're watching

[1:31:16] a movie for the

[1:31:16] Flophouse,

[1:31:17] I'll accidentally

[1:31:18] get stuck scrolling

[1:31:19] on my phone

[1:31:20] instead of watching

[1:31:20] the movie,

[1:31:21] and,

[1:31:21] yeah,

[1:31:22] a little bit

[1:31:23] this felt like that.

[1:31:23] You know,

[1:31:24] I feel like the thing

[1:31:25] is this movie,

[1:31:26] it makes you,

[1:31:27] all the characters

[1:31:28] are kind of terrible,

[1:31:29] and it makes you

[1:31:30] immediately sympathize

[1:31:31] with the grandpa

[1:31:32] character,

[1:31:32] although the thing

[1:31:33] is,

[1:31:34] you know that guy

[1:31:34] voted for Trump,

[1:31:35] so that's the real

[1:31:36] reason he should have

[1:31:37] had a war with grandpa.

[1:31:39] So I'm gonna say

Dan McCoy

[1:31:40] bad,

[1:31:40] bad movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:41] Okay,

[1:31:42] good,

[1:31:42] you can't argue

[1:31:42] with that logic.

[1:31:44] Elliot?

[1:31:44] Guys,

[1:31:44] I'm gonna be in the

[1:31:45] minority here,

[1:31:46] I think it's just

[1:31:46] because I've been

[1:31:47] exposed to a lot

[1:31:47] of kids'

[1:31:49] entertainment I don't

[1:31:50] like.

[1:31:50] I'm gonna call this

[1:31:51] not a movie that

[1:31:52] I liked,

[1:31:53] but a movie that

[1:31:54] if my kids

[1:31:54] wanted to sit

[1:31:55] and watch it,

[1:31:56] and it meant that

[1:31:56] I could sit and

[1:31:57] read a book

[1:31:57] while they were

[1:31:58] doing that,

[1:31:58] I'd say,

[1:31:59] go ahead,

[1:31:59] fine,

[1:32:00] let's watch the war

Dan McCoy

[1:32:00] with grandpa.

[1:32:01] though it has

[1:32:01] a pro war

[1:32:03] on your elders

[1:32:03] message?

S4

[1:32:04] Yeah,

[1:32:05] enjoy your

[1:32:06] shattered vertebra.

[1:32:07] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:08] I don't appreciate

[1:32:09] the way they went

[1:32:09] about that war,

[1:32:10] but to be honest,

[1:32:11] I think a certain

[1:32:11] amount of

[1:32:12] generational friction

[1:32:13] is good for

[1:32:14] growing people,

[1:32:16] and also good

[1:32:17] for the world,

[1:32:17] and so I'm gonna say,

[1:32:19] I'm gonna,

[1:32:20] and so I'm gonna say

[1:32:23] it is a movie

[1:32:24] that I kind of

[1:32:26] liked for my kids

[1:32:27] to watch to give

[1:32:28] me some time

[1:32:28] to sit and read,

[1:32:29] and I can finally

[1:32:30] finish this big

[1:32:31] book of Doris Lessing

[1:32:32] short stories

[1:32:32] that I've been

[1:32:33] making my way

[1:32:33] through,

[1:32:34] so it's a new

[1:32:35] category.

[1:32:37] It doesn't exactly

[1:32:38] fit our categories.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:39] Distractions,

[1:32:40] so I can read

[1:32:40] Lessing.

[1:32:41] The fourth category.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:43] Yeah,

[1:32:43] we've seen plenty

[1:32:44] of children's movies

[1:32:46] no,

[1:32:46] I don't want my

[1:32:46] children to see this,

[1:32:47] but here it was like,

[1:32:48] you know what,

[1:32:48] this is fine.

[1:32:50] Yeah,

[1:32:50] Solo,

[1:32:51] et cetera.

[1:32:51] Yeah.

S4

[1:32:52] I'm gonna,

[1:32:53] yeah,

[1:32:53] the devils,

[1:32:54] sure.

[1:32:55] It's not a film

[1:32:56] I will ever watch

[1:32:56] again,

[1:32:57] but I also came

[1:32:58] into it from

[1:32:59] the unique position

[1:33:00] of having like,

[1:33:02] recorded a whole

[1:33:03] episode about it

[1:33:04] before I saw it.

[1:33:05] Yeah.

[1:33:06] And so for me,

[1:33:07] the,

[1:33:08] it was the,

[1:33:08] it was the manifestation

[1:33:09] of the film

[1:33:11] that I found

[1:33:12] so delightful

[1:33:13] all throughout

[1:33:14] the more outrageous

[1:33:16] shit happened

[1:33:17] in it,

[1:33:18] the more I was,

[1:33:19] I felt good

[1:33:20] and justified

[1:33:21] in our,

[1:33:22] in our original

[1:33:23] sort of discussion

[1:33:24] of the film

[1:33:25] and that was like,

[1:33:26] that was a really

[1:33:26] fulfilling experience

[1:33:27] for me.

[1:33:28] Yeah.

[1:33:29] so I had a good

[1:33:30] time watching it

[1:33:31] but I won't

[1:33:32] ever again

[1:33:33] and most people

[1:33:35] else on earth

[1:33:36] won't do that

[1:33:37] the first time,

[1:33:38] won't get that

[1:33:38] experience the first time.

[1:33:39] So if you're Griff,

[1:33:40] if you happen to be

[1:33:41] a listener,

Dan McCoy

[1:33:42] Griffin or one

[1:33:43] of his two brothers.

[1:33:44] Yeah.

S4

[1:33:44] Yes.

[1:33:45] Yeah.

[1:33:46] I don't know.

[1:33:47] I listen to a lot

[1:33:48] of movie podcasts

[1:33:49] where they watch

[1:33:50] the movie.

[1:33:50] I,

[1:33:51] shit,

[1:33:51] I participate

[1:33:51] in a movie podcast

[1:33:52] where they watch

[1:33:53] one movie

[1:33:54] the wrong way,

[1:33:55] right?

[1:33:55] I,

[1:33:56] I would not want

[1:33:57] that to be this movie

[1:33:58] not because it is bad

[1:33:59] but because like

[1:34:00] I don't want to

[1:34:01] question whether or not

[1:34:02] I am slipping

[1:34:03] through,

[1:34:03] through my life

[1:34:05] and in these,

[1:34:06] you know,

[1:34:06] handful of fugue states.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:12] As you know,

[1:34:13] we've been talking

[1:34:13] about the Max Fun Drive

[1:34:15] this year's

[1:34:17] pledge drive

[1:34:18] to,

[1:34:19] to fund the Maximum Fun

[1:34:20] podcasting network

[1:34:22] and I would like to take

[1:34:23] this moment

[1:34:23] to just personally say

[1:34:24] what the show

[1:34:26] has meant to me.

[1:34:27] Like,

[1:34:28] we talk about

[1:34:29] what it means

[1:34:29] to the listeners.

[1:34:31] I want to say

[1:34:31] the show has meant

[1:34:32] a lot to me

[1:34:33] and I'd like to

[1:34:34] tell you about it

[1:34:36] because we all come at it

[1:34:37] from different perspectives.

[1:34:39] You know,

[1:34:40] the flop house

[1:34:40] at this point

[1:34:40] is 100%

[1:34:42] a joint effort

[1:34:42] between the three of us

[1:34:44] but it started out

[1:34:46] as a notion

[1:34:47] that I had

[1:34:48] and it was really

[1:34:49] like something

[1:34:50] that like

[1:34:51] I never knew

[1:34:53] would become

[1:34:53] what it is.

[1:34:54] I was 29 years old.

[1:34:56] I was about

[1:34:57] to enter my 30s.

[1:34:59] Well,

[1:35:00] no,

[1:35:00] I was not full of beans.

[1:35:01] I was about

[1:35:02] to enter my 30s.

[1:35:03] I've been trying

[1:35:04] to make it in comedy

[1:35:05] in New York City.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:06] Empty of beans.

[1:35:07] Empty of beans.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:07] No more beans

[1:35:08] to be had.

[1:35:09] Beanless.

[1:35:10] I was looking

[1:35:10] for a way

[1:35:10] to have my voice heard

[1:35:12] and I also,

[1:35:13] loved hanging out

[1:35:14] with Stuart,

[1:35:14] one of my funniest friends,

[1:35:16] watching dumb movies

[1:35:17] and I was like,

[1:35:19] let's put this podcast

[1:35:19] out in the world

[1:35:20] and I had met Elliot

[1:35:23] who came on

[1:35:24] to the show.

[1:35:25] He's just a joke machine.

[1:35:27] He loves the same

[1:35:28] dumb things.

[1:35:28] I thought,

[1:35:29] here's our permanent

[1:35:30] third co-host

[1:35:32] and look,

[1:35:34] when this started out,

[1:35:36] as I said,

[1:35:37] I was trying to make

[1:35:38] my voice heard

[1:35:38] in the comedy world

[1:35:40] and I certainly had

[1:35:40] hopes for the show

[1:35:41] but it has succeeded

[1:35:43] so far beyond my dreams

[1:35:45] and reached so many people

[1:35:46] who found it meaningful

[1:35:47] and said such nice things

[1:35:49] about it in ways

[1:35:50] that I am honestly

[1:35:51] not emotionally able

[1:35:53] to cope with

[1:35:54] because my heart

[1:35:55] would explode.

[1:35:57] The show has been

[1:35:58] a significant part

[1:35:59] of my adult life.

[1:35:59] It's been with me

[1:36:00] through six apartments.

[1:36:02] It's outlasted

[1:36:03] friendships

[1:36:04] and romantic relationships.

[1:36:06] It's outlasted my...

[1:36:06] Why did you look at me

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:07] when you said friendships, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[1:36:09] It's outlasted.

[1:36:10] Why did you look at me

[1:36:11] when you said romantic relationships?

[1:36:13] It's outlasted my decade

[1:36:14] at The Daily Show.

[1:36:16] Yeah.

[1:36:17] It's crazy.

[1:36:18] When having this podcast

[1:36:20] was a necessary outlet

[1:36:21] when I had to write jokes

[1:36:22] for someone else

[1:36:23] but I knew that I could

[1:36:24] always make the jokes

[1:36:25] I really enjoyed

[1:36:26] on my silly podcast

[1:36:27] and for the past year

[1:36:29] it's been the primary thing

[1:36:30] keeping a roof over my head

[1:36:31] and food on my table

[1:36:32] and it's been with me

[1:36:33] through some hard times

[1:36:35] where no matter

[1:36:36] what else was true

[1:36:37] I knew I'd be meeting up

[1:36:38] with my two best friends

[1:36:39] every week

[1:36:39] and we tried

[1:36:40] to make each other

[1:36:41] laugh for a couple of hours

[1:36:43] and though

[1:36:46] you know

[1:36:46] Stuart and Elliot's

[1:36:48] interruptions

[1:36:48] have kept me

[1:36:49] from getting emotional

[1:36:50] when I was writing out

[1:36:52] the notes for this

[1:36:52] I did cry

[1:36:53] and so I'm not saying

[1:36:55] that your continued

[1:36:56] financial support

[1:36:57] is responsible

[1:36:58] for the health

[1:36:59] of my friendship

[1:37:00] with Elliot and Stuart

[1:37:01] but I'm not

[1:37:03] not saying that

[1:37:04] let's strongly imply that

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:06] let's strongly imply

[1:37:07] we are friends for pay

Dan McCoy

[1:37:08] yeah

[1:37:09] anyway

[1:37:10] that's what the show

[1:37:11] means to me

[1:37:11] but I want to read

[1:37:12] a listener comment

[1:37:13] and this one is from

[1:37:14] Tyler Lastnamewithheld

[1:37:16] he writes

[1:37:17] dear Flophouse

[1:37:18] we all know

[1:37:19] that the pandemic

[1:37:20] hasn't been easy

[1:37:21] on any of us

[1:37:22] but it has been

[1:37:23] especially rough

[1:37:24] on those

[1:37:24] already suffering

[1:37:25] through mental health issues

[1:37:27] you guys have

[1:37:28] reinvigorated my love

[1:37:29] not just for bad movies

[1:37:30] but movies in general

[1:37:31] that have been waning

[1:37:33] over the past few years

[1:37:34] my obsession

[1:37:36] with movies

[1:37:36] means that I

[1:37:37] have never met

[1:37:38] a person who could

[1:37:39] beat me in six degrees

[1:37:40] of Kevin Bacon

[1:37:41] so crazy I am

[1:37:43] for movies that I left

[1:37:44] my unlimited plan

[1:37:45] active

[1:37:45] the entire time

[1:37:47] the theaters were closed

[1:37:48] each of you individually

[1:37:50] has given me inspiration

[1:37:51] I needed to better myself

[1:37:53] through difficult

[1:37:53] circumstances

[1:37:54] Elliot gave me

[1:37:56] the courage

[1:37:56] to start writing

[1:37:57] comedy again

[1:37:58] Stuart gave me

[1:37:59] the push to get back

[1:38:00] in the gym

[1:38:01] and Dan has

[1:38:02] given me the confidence

[1:38:03] to deal with my depression

[1:38:04] and to move past my acts

[1:38:06] and pursue new things

[1:38:07] thank you so much

[1:38:08] to my favorite

[1:38:09] bad movie podcast

[1:38:10] who has systematically

[1:38:11] ripped apart

[1:38:12] some of my

[1:38:12] favorite movies

[1:38:14] I love you guys

[1:38:15] with much gratitude

[1:38:16] Tyler

[1:38:17] last name withheld

[1:38:19] that's so nice

[1:38:20] that's very nice

[1:38:21] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:21] glad we could be there

[1:38:23] for you

[1:38:23] and you could be there

[1:38:23] for us

Dan McCoy

[1:38:24] thank you to all

[1:38:25] the listeners

[1:38:25] I wasn't paying

Stuart Wellington

[1:38:28] that close attention

[1:38:29] did he say

[1:38:30] thank you Dan

[1:38:31] for giving him

[1:38:32] courage to have

[1:38:32] a really cool beard

[1:38:33] yeah

[1:38:34] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:38:34] like Riker

[1:38:36] he said

[1:38:37] this

[1:38:37] so this

[1:38:38] this break

[1:38:40] has already gone

[1:38:41] a little long

[1:38:42] but I do want

[1:38:43] to highlight quickly

[1:38:44] the official

[1:38:45] MaxFun

[1:38:46] thank you gifts

[1:38:46] for donors

[1:38:47] we talked about

[1:38:48] what we as a show

[1:38:49] are doing

[1:38:49] but the official

[1:38:50] gifts

[1:38:51] at $5 a month

[1:38:53] or more

[1:38:53] you get all that

[1:38:54] bonus content

[1:38:54] I mentioned

[1:38:55] including this year's

[1:38:56] Flophouse content

[1:38:58] the cat's commentary track

[1:39:00] if you join in

[1:39:02] if you join at

[1:39:03] or upgrade to

[1:39:05] $10 a month

[1:39:06] or more

[1:39:07] you get a really

[1:39:08] beautiful patch

[1:39:09] you can

[1:39:10] sew on

[1:39:12] to clothes

[1:39:13] of your choice

[1:39:14] or just display somewhere

[1:39:15] ours is the

[1:39:15] Flophouse

[1:39:16] house cat

[1:39:17] it's designed

[1:39:19] to look like

[1:39:19] he's bursting

[1:39:20] right out of

[1:39:21] whatever clothing

[1:39:22] you put the patch on

[1:39:23] he came to visit us

[1:39:24] it's been a long time

[1:39:25] yeah

[1:39:26] and if you join

[1:39:28] at or upgrade

[1:39:29] to the $20

[1:39:30] month or more

[1:39:31] level

[1:39:31] you can choose

[1:39:32] the MaxFun

[1:39:33] creativity pack

[1:39:34] this is where

[1:39:36] artist and

[1:39:37] MaxFunster

[1:39:37] Ellen Vandermeede

[1:39:39] illustrated a beautiful

[1:39:41] deck of

[1:39:41] 54 inspiration

[1:39:43] cards

[1:39:44] where each card

[1:39:45] has an activity

[1:39:46] suggestion

[1:39:46] from your favorite

[1:39:48] hosts

[1:39:48] or your pals

[1:39:49] at MaxFun

[1:39:50] it's designed

[1:39:52] to inspire

[1:39:52] you to enjoy

[1:39:53] friends

[1:39:53] nature

[1:39:54] food

[1:39:55] making art

[1:39:56] all kinds

[1:39:57] of stuff

[1:39:57] the kit

[1:39:58] comes also

[1:39:59] with a set

[1:40:00] of three

[1:40:00] postcards

[1:40:01] a piece

[1:40:01] of non

[1:40:02] hardening

[1:40:03] colorful

[1:40:03] modeling

[1:40:04] clay

[1:40:04] and a custom

[1:40:05] black winged

[1:40:06] pencil to encourage

[1:40:07] you to get

[1:40:08] creative

[1:40:08] if that is

[1:40:10] not your

[1:40:11] thing

[1:40:11] at the $20

[1:40:12] level

[1:40:12] you can

[1:40:13] also

[1:40:13] instead of

[1:40:14] that

[1:40:15] opt

[1:40:15] for a hat

[1:40:16] with the

[1:40:17] MaxFun

[1:40:17] rocket

[1:40:18] logo

[1:40:18] if you say

[1:40:20] nay

[1:40:21] to creativity

[1:40:22] you can wear

[1:40:22] a hat

[1:40:23] with a rocket

[1:40:24] on it

[1:40:24] there's a

[1:40:26] lot of other

[1:40:27] gifts

[1:40:28] at even

[1:40:29] higher levels

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:30] I hope you

[1:40:31] were as

[1:40:32] delighted

[1:40:32] listeners at

[1:40:33] home

[1:40:33] as I was

[1:40:34] at Dan's

[1:40:34] delight

[1:40:34] at the way

[1:40:35] he put that

[1:40:36] there are

Dan McCoy

[1:40:39] higher levels

[1:40:40] if you're

[1:40:41] curious

[1:40:42] all of

[1:40:43] this is

[1:40:43] at the

[1:40:45] MaximumFun.org

[1:40:47] website

[1:40:47] you can see

[1:40:48] the

[1:40:50] thank you

[1:40:50] gifts

[1:40:51] you can check

[1:40:52] them all

[1:40:52] out there

[1:40:53] but for

[1:40:53] now

[1:40:54] I'm just

[1:40:55] going to

[1:40:55] ask

[1:40:56] will you

[1:40:56] please

[1:40:57] join us

[1:40:58] as a

[1:40:58] member

[1:40:58] go to

[1:40:59] MaximumFun.org

[1:41:01] slash join

[1:41:02] choose what

[1:41:03] shows you like

[1:41:04] and what you

[1:41:04] think you can

[1:41:05] afford to

[1:41:05] make sure

[1:41:06] they keep

[1:41:06] going strong

[1:41:07] and thank

[1:41:08] you for

[1:41:08] the support

[1:41:09] so we

[1:41:14] we did

[1:41:15] a letter

[1:41:16] as part

[1:41:16] of our

[1:41:16] MaxFun

[1:41:18] drive

[1:41:20] I don't

[1:41:21] know

[1:41:22] spiel

[1:41:22] I'll use

[1:41:22] the word

[1:41:23] spiel

[1:41:23] so

[1:41:24] you're

[1:41:24] Jewish

[1:41:24] you can

[1:41:25] use that

[1:41:25] word

[1:41:25] thank you

[1:41:26] I'm not

[1:41:27] offended

[1:41:27] so

[1:41:29] we're

[1:41:30] that

[1:41:31] that's

[1:41:31] going to

[1:41:32] serve as

[1:41:32] our

[1:41:32] letters

[1:41:33] for this

[1:41:34] episode

[1:41:34] but we

[1:41:34] do

[1:41:35] want

[1:41:35] to

[1:41:35] move

[1:41:36] on

[1:41:36] to

[1:41:36] make

[1:41:38] recommendations

[1:41:38] of a

[1:41:40] movie

[1:41:40] that we

[1:41:40] saw

[1:41:41] often

[1:41:43] recently

[1:41:43] sometimes

[1:41:43] not

[1:41:44] that we

[1:41:44] like

[1:41:45] that maybe

[1:41:45] is a

[1:41:46] better

[1:41:46] use of

[1:41:46] your

[1:41:46] time

[1:41:47] than

[1:41:48] war

[1:41:48] with

[1:41:48] grandpa

[1:41:48] I'll

[1:41:49] kick

[1:41:50] us

[1:41:50] off

[1:41:50] and say

[1:41:50] that

[1:41:51] I've

[1:41:52] already

[1:41:52] told this

[1:41:54] story to

[1:41:55] the

[1:41:55] flophouse

[1:41:56] crew

[1:41:56] but

[1:41:57] I was

[1:41:59] scrolling

[1:41:59] through

[1:42:00] we were

[1:42:01] looking for

[1:42:01] a romantic

[1:42:02] comedy to

[1:42:03] watch

[1:42:03] the other

[1:42:04] night

[1:42:04] and I

[1:42:05] tweeted

[1:42:06] like a

[1:42:07] joke about

[1:42:07] like looking

[1:42:08] for something

[1:42:08] not being

[1:42:09] able to

[1:42:09] find it

[1:42:09] whatever

[1:42:10] and

[1:42:11] sounds like

[1:42:12] a great

[1:42:12] joke

[1:42:13] the

[1:42:13] you can look

[1:42:15] it up

[1:42:15] I don't

[1:42:16] you know

[1:42:16] I'm not

[1:42:16] I'm only

[1:42:17] giving away

[1:42:18] for free

[1:42:18] on Elon

[1:42:19] Musk's

[1:42:20] Twitter

[1:42:20] oh boy

[1:42:21] oh

[1:42:23] you guys

[1:42:24] hear about

[1:42:24] this thing

[1:42:25] that's

[1:42:26] terrible

[1:42:26] anyway

[1:42:27] this

[1:42:29] unrelated

[1:42:29] joke

[1:42:30] but the

[1:42:33] actress

[1:42:34] Molly C.

[1:42:35] Quinn

[1:42:35] tweeted at

[1:42:36] me saying

[1:42:37] watch

[1:42:38] Agnes

[1:42:38] which is a

[1:42:39] movie that

[1:42:40] she is the

[1:42:41] star of

[1:42:42] and

[1:42:42] it was such

[1:42:43] an unusual

[1:42:44] occurrence

[1:42:45] to have

[1:42:45] someone

[1:42:46] personally

[1:42:47] tweet at

[1:42:48] me to

[1:42:48] advocate

[1:42:49] their movie

[1:42:50] yeah

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:50] directed by

[1:42:50] Mickey

[1:42:50] Reese

Dan McCoy

[1:42:51] yeah

[1:42:51] it's not

[1:42:52] a romantic

[1:42:53] comedy

[1:42:54] that was

[1:42:55] just what

[1:42:55] I

[1:42:55] happened

[1:42:56] to be

[1:42:56] tweeting

[1:42:57] about

[1:42:57] it is

[1:42:57] a

[1:42:58] it starts

[1:42:59] out as

[1:43:00] a horror

[1:43:00] movie

[1:43:01] and then

[1:43:02] becomes

[1:43:03] I don't

[1:43:05] know

[1:43:05] kind of

[1:43:05] a

[1:43:06] philosophical

[1:43:07] exploration

[1:43:08] of

[1:43:10] what it

[1:43:10] is to

[1:43:11] live in

[1:43:12] the world

[1:43:12] and how

[1:43:13] to do

[1:43:13] so

[1:43:14] I really

[1:43:16] enjoyed it

[1:43:17] and

[1:43:18] you know

[1:43:18] which is

[1:43:19] I guess

[1:43:19] is a

[1:43:19] lesson

[1:43:20] if any

[1:43:21] other

[1:43:21] movie

[1:43:22] actors

[1:43:23] want to

[1:43:23] personally

[1:43:24] advocate

[1:43:24] their movie

[1:43:25] to me

[1:43:25] I'll

[1:43:25] probably

[1:43:25] watch

[1:43:26] but

[1:43:27] but

[1:43:28] this

[1:43:28] easy

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:28] way

[1:43:29] to get

[1:43:29] your

[1:43:29] film

[1:43:29] recommended

[1:43:30] on the

[1:43:30] podcast

Dan McCoy

[1:43:30] well

[1:43:31] not

[1:43:31] always

[1:43:32] you know

[1:43:32] I could

[1:43:32] have not

[1:43:33] said

[1:43:33] anything

[1:43:33] about it

[1:43:34] but I

[1:43:34] I'm

[1:43:35] recommending

[1:43:35] because I

[1:43:36] genuinely

[1:43:36] enjoyed

[1:43:37] it

[1:43:39] it

[1:43:40] is

[1:43:40] a movie

[1:43:41] that

[1:43:41] rewards

[1:43:43] not

[1:43:43] knowing

[1:43:44] where it's

[1:43:44] going to

[1:43:45] go

[1:43:45] so I'm

[1:43:46] not

[1:43:46] gonna

[1:43:46] say

[1:43:47] too

[1:43:47] much

[1:43:48] about

[1:43:48] it

[1:43:48] but

[1:43:49] I

[1:43:49] also

[1:43:49] think

[1:43:50] that

[1:43:50] it

[1:43:50] probably

[1:43:51] you know

[1:43:53] some

[1:43:53] reviews

[1:43:54] I've

[1:43:55] read of

[1:43:55] it

[1:43:56] it suffered

[1:43:57] for

[1:43:58] the person

[1:43:59] expecting

[1:44:00] one kind

[1:44:00] of movie

[1:44:01] and being

[1:44:01] angry

[1:44:02] when their

[1:44:02] expectations

[1:44:03] were

[1:44:04] confounded

[1:44:04] I usually

[1:44:05] enjoy it

[1:44:06] when I'm

[1:44:07] surprised by

[1:44:07] a movie

[1:44:08] but I also

[1:44:08] understand

[1:44:09] when people

[1:44:09] are like

[1:44:10] this is not

[1:44:11] what I

[1:44:11] was signing

[1:44:13] up for

[1:44:13] so if you

[1:44:14] want a

[1:44:15] straightforward

[1:44:15] exorcism

[1:44:17] slash

[1:44:18] non

[1:44:20] horror

[1:44:21] film

[1:44:22] this is

[1:44:23] not

[1:44:23] that

[1:44:23] go to

[1:44:24] that

[1:44:25] section

[1:44:25] of the

[1:44:26] video

[1:44:26] store

[1:44:26] I mean

[1:44:27] don't

[1:44:27] pretend

[1:44:28] like

[1:44:29] there's

[1:44:30] not

[1:44:30] a

[1:44:30] non

[1:44:30] horror

[1:44:31] out

[1:44:31] there

[1:44:31] fair

[1:44:32] point

[1:44:33] fair

[1:44:33] point

[1:44:33] but

[1:44:34] anyway

[1:44:34] Agnes

[1:44:35] was

[1:44:35] interesting

[1:44:37] it's got

[1:44:37] more in

[1:44:38] its mind

[1:44:38] than you

[1:44:39] might

[1:44:39] think

[1:44:39] from

[1:44:41] the

[1:44:41] I don't

[1:44:42] know

[1:44:42] little plot

[1:44:42] synopsis

[1:44:43] you see

[1:44:43] on streaming

[1:44:44] or whatever

[1:44:44] but

[1:44:46] Stuart

[1:44:46] what do

[1:44:46] you got

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:47] yeah I

[1:44:47] think

[1:44:47] that's

[1:44:47] the

[1:44:47] case

[1:44:48] with

[1:44:48] a lot

[1:44:48] of

[1:44:48] Mickey

[1:44:48] Reese

[1:44:48] movies

[1:44:49] nice

[1:44:49] guy

[1:44:49] drank

[1:44:50] in

[1:44:50] my

[1:44:50] bar

[1:44:50] one

[1:44:50] time

[1:44:51] okay

[1:44:51] so

[1:44:52] I

[1:44:52] am

[1:44:53] going

[1:44:53] to

[1:44:54] recommend

[1:44:54] to

[1:44:54] kind

[1:44:55] of

[1:44:55] stick

[1:44:55] with

[1:44:55] this

[1:44:55] theme

[1:44:56] of

[1:44:56] like

[1:44:57] generational

[1:44:57] conflict

[1:44:58] I'm

[1:44:59] going to

[1:44:59] recommend

[1:44:59] the

[1:44:59] movie

[1:45:00] Come On

[1:45:01] Starring

[1:45:02] Joaquin Phoenix

[1:45:03] and a little

[1:45:03] kid from

[1:45:04] England

[1:45:04] who does

[1:45:05] a very

[1:45:05] good

[1:45:05] American

[1:45:06] accent

[1:45:06] it also

[1:45:07] has

[1:45:07] Gabby

[1:45:08] Hoffman

[1:45:08] who plays

[1:45:09] his sister

[1:45:09] and it's

[1:45:10] about

[1:45:10] a

[1:45:11] childless

[1:45:12] podcaster

[1:45:13] who

[1:45:14] takes

[1:45:14] his

[1:45:15] sister's

[1:45:16] son

[1:45:16] under

[1:45:17] his wing

[1:45:17] for a little

[1:45:18] while

[1:45:18] while she

[1:45:19] deals

[1:45:21] with

[1:45:21] her

[1:45:22] emotionally

[1:45:24] challenged

[1:45:26] husband

[1:45:27] played by

[1:45:27] Scoot

[1:45:28] McNary

[1:45:28] now

[1:45:29] this is

[1:45:30] going to

[1:45:30] be a

[1:45:30] little bit

[1:45:30] of a

[1:45:31] teaser

[1:45:31] because

[1:45:31] in

[1:45:32] an

[1:45:32] upcoming

[1:45:33] mini

[1:45:33] we're

[1:45:34] going to

[1:45:34] be

[1:45:34] playing

[1:45:34] a

[1:45:35] game

[1:45:35] that

[1:45:35] I'm

[1:45:35] hosting

[1:45:36] called

[1:45:36] Skeet

[1:45:37] Scoot

[1:45:37] Scarret

[1:45:38] where you

[1:45:39] have to

[1:45:39] decide

[1:45:40] whether

[1:45:40] it is

[1:45:41] a

[1:45:41] Skeet

[1:45:41] Ulrich

[1:45:41] Scoot

[1:45:42] McNary

[1:45:42] or

[1:45:42] Tom

[1:45:43] Scarret

[1:45:43] movie

[1:45:44] I don't

[1:45:46] want to

[1:45:46] tip my

[1:45:46] hand

[1:45:47] too

[1:45:47] much

[1:45:47] because

[1:45:47] there

[1:45:47] will

[1:45:48] be

[1:45:48] a

[1:45:48] bonus

[1:45:49] round

[1:45:49] that

[1:45:49] cost

[1:45:49] me

[1:45:50] quite

[1:45:50] a bit

[1:45:50] of

[1:45:50] money

[1:45:50] time

[1:45:51] and

[1:45:51] I

[1:45:52] think

[1:45:52] my

[1:45:52] marriage

[1:45:53] the

[1:45:54] scat

[1:45:54] bonus

[1:45:54] round

[1:45:55] where

[1:45:55] you

[1:45:55] have

[1:45:55] to

[1:45:56] determine

[1:45:56] if

[1:45:56] it's

[1:45:56] a

[1:45:56] skeet

[1:45:58] scat

[1:45:58] a

[1:45:58] scat

[1:45:58] or

[1:46:04] scat

[1:46:05] you

[1:46:05] were

[1:46:05] getting

[1:46:06] at

[1:46:07] no

[1:46:07] it's

[1:46:08] not

[1:46:08] like

[1:46:08] he's

[1:46:08] beatbox

[1:46:09] here

[1:46:09] so

[1:46:09] yeah

[1:46:11] come on

[1:46:13] come on

[1:46:14] you took

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:17] us on

[1:46:17] a real

[1:46:17] journey

S4

[1:46:18] my legs

[1:46:19] are tired

[1:46:20] and sore

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:20] I honestly

[1:46:23] part way

[1:46:23] through I

[1:46:24] kind of

[1:46:24] forgot it

[1:46:24] was a

[1:46:24] movie

[1:46:25] recommendation

[1:46:25] I'm

[1:46:30] gonna

[1:46:30] quickly

[1:46:30] recommend

[1:46:31] a movie

[1:46:31] from

[1:46:32] the end

[1:46:32] of last

[1:46:33] year

[1:46:33] this is

[1:46:33] a movie

[1:46:34] that's

[1:46:34] available

[1:46:34] on

[1:46:34] Netflix

[1:46:35] which is

[1:46:36] an

[1:46:36] online

[1:46:36] streaming

[1:46:36] service

[1:46:37] for

[1:46:37] film

[1:46:38] that

[1:46:38] you

[1:46:38] may

[1:46:38] have

[1:46:38] heard

[1:46:38] of

[1:46:39] they're

[1:46:39] having

[1:46:39] a

[1:46:39] hard

[1:46:39] time

[1:46:40] right

[1:46:40] now

[1:46:40] so

[1:46:40] why not

[1:46:40] go

[1:46:41] and

[1:46:41] watch

[1:46:41] some

[1:46:41] of

[1:46:41] their

[1:46:41] movies

[1:46:42] take

Stuart Wellington

[1:46:43] advantage

[1:46:44] of

[1:46:44] that

[1:46:44] membership

[1:46:44] before

[1:46:45] they

[1:46:45] try

[1:46:45] and

[1:46:45] charge

[1:46:45] you

[1:46:46] more

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:46] this

[1:46:47] is

[1:46:48] a

[1:46:48] movie

[1:46:48] called

[1:46:48] The

[1:46:48] Harder

[1:46:48] They

[1:46:49] Fall

[1:46:49] which

[1:46:50] is

[1:46:50] a

[1:46:50] western

[1:46:50] starring

[1:46:52] a

[1:46:52] enormously

[1:46:53] fantastic

[1:46:54] cast

[1:46:54] Jonathan

[1:46:55] Majors

[1:46:55] is

[1:46:55] in it

[1:46:56] Idris Elba

[1:46:56] is

[1:46:56] in it

[1:46:57] Zazie Beetz

[1:46:57] is in it

[1:46:57] Regina

[1:46:58] King

[1:46:58] is in it

[1:46:58] Doray

[1:46:59] Linda

[1:46:59] is in it

[1:46:59] Lake

[1:46:59] Stanfield

[1:47:00] is in it

[1:47:00] a lot

[1:47:01] of other

[1:47:01] great

[1:47:01] people

[1:47:01] Jonathan

[1:47:02] Majors

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:03] is so

[1:47:03] fucking

[1:47:04] jacked

[1:47:05] it's

[1:47:05] crazy

[1:47:06] like

[1:47:06] they put

[1:47:06] him in

[1:47:07] movies

[1:47:07] and they

[1:47:07] cast

[1:47:07] him

[1:47:08] as a

[1:47:08] nerd

[1:47:08] and I'm

[1:47:08] like

[1:47:09] this

[1:47:09] is

[1:47:09] unfair

[1:47:09] I

[1:47:10] had

[1:47:10] trouble

[1:47:11] in

[1:47:11] Lovecraft

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:12] country

[1:47:12] where

[1:47:12] he's

[1:47:12] like

[1:47:12] I love

[1:47:13] reading

[1:47:13] these

[1:47:13] books

[1:47:13] I was

[1:47:14] like

[1:47:14] what

[1:47:16] is

[1:47:16] enormous

[1:47:17] yeah

[1:47:18] he

[1:47:19] gained

[1:47:19] all that

[1:47:20] arm

[1:47:20] muscle

[1:47:20] from

[1:47:20] lifting

[1:47:21] those

[1:47:21] heavy

[1:47:21] books

[1:47:21] and

[1:47:23] this

[1:47:23] is

[1:47:23] it

[1:47:24] is

[1:47:24] not

[1:47:24] a

[1:47:24] it's

[1:47:25] a

[1:47:25] western

[1:47:25] but

[1:47:25] it

[1:47:25] is

[1:47:26] not

[1:47:26] a

[1:47:26] historical

[1:47:27] western

[1:47:27] even

[1:47:27] though

[1:47:27] the

[1:47:27] characters

[1:47:28] are

[1:47:28] kind

[1:47:29] of

[1:47:29] named

[1:47:29] after

[1:47:30] real

[1:47:30] life

[1:47:30] people

[1:47:30] but

[1:47:32] it

[1:47:32] felt

[1:47:32] like

[1:47:33] someone

[1:47:34] is

[1:47:34] doing

[1:47:34] a

[1:47:34] modern

[1:47:34] day

[1:47:35] spaghetti

[1:47:35] western

[1:47:36] with

[1:47:36] an

[1:47:36] almost

[1:47:36] entirely

[1:47:37] all

[1:47:37] black

[1:47:37] cast

[1:47:38] and

[1:47:38] the

[1:47:39] music

[1:47:39] in

[1:47:39] it

[1:47:39] is

[1:47:39] great

[1:47:40] and

[1:47:40] it

[1:47:40] looks

[1:47:41] great

[1:47:41] and

[1:47:41] there's

[1:47:41] a lot

[1:47:42] of

[1:47:42] really

[1:47:42] fun

[1:47:42] action

[1:47:42] scenes

[1:47:43] it's

[1:47:43] not

[1:47:44] going to

[1:47:45] change

[1:47:45] the way

[1:47:46] you

[1:47:46] think

[1:47:46] about

[1:47:46] the

[1:47:46] West

[1:47:46] or

[1:47:47] even

[1:47:47] make

[1:47:47] you

[1:47:47] think

[1:47:48] about

[1:47:48] the

[1:47:48] West

[1:47:48] but

[1:47:49] it

[1:47:49] is

[1:47:49] a

[1:47:49] fun

[1:47:50] collection

[1:47:50] of

[1:47:51] suspense

[1:47:52] and

[1:47:52] action

[1:47:53] scenes

[1:47:53] and

[1:47:54] I

[1:47:54] really

[1:47:54] like

[1:47:55] the

[1:47:55] style

[1:47:55] of it

[1:47:55] and

[1:47:55] I

[1:47:56] liked

[1:47:56] the

[1:47:56] soundtrack

[1:47:56] a lot

[1:47:57] so

[1:47:57] that's

[1:47:57] The

[1:47:58] Harder

[1:47:58] They

[1:47:58] Fall

[1:47:59] not

[1:47:59] to

[1:47:59] be

[1:47:59] confused

[1:48:00] with

[1:48:00] the

[1:48:01] old

[1:48:01] movie

[1:48:01] The

[1:48:01] Harder

[1:48:02] They

[1:48:02] Fall

[1:48:02] which

[1:48:03] is

[1:48:03] completely

[1:48:04] different

[1:48:04] don't

[1:48:04] get

[1:48:04] confused

[1:48:05] with

[1:48:05] that

[1:48:05] one

Dan McCoy

[1:48:05] yeah

[1:48:05] okay

[1:48:06] that's

[1:48:06] a movie

[1:48:07] about

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:07] boxing

[1:48:07] where

[1:48:07] probably

[1:48:08] someone

[1:48:08] jumps

[1:48:08] rope

[1:48:08] anyway

[1:48:09] or

[1:48:09] don't

[1:48:10] get

Dan McCoy

[1:48:10] confused

[1:48:10] with

[1:48:10] The

[1:48:11] Harder

[1:48:11] They

[1:48:11] Come

[1:48:11] which

[1:48:11] is

[1:48:12] a

[1:48:12] movie

[1:48:12] about

[1:48:13] reggae

[1:48:14] music

[1:48:14] basically

[1:48:14] yeah

[1:48:15] well

[1:48:15] that's

[1:48:15] got

[1:48:15] a

[1:48:15] different

[1:48:15] title

[1:48:16] so

[1:48:16] or

[1:48:17] a

[1:48:17] hard

[1:48:17] day's

[1:48:17] night

[1:48:18] yeah

[1:48:19] or

S4

[1:48:28] that

[1:48:28] movie

[1:48:28] is

[1:48:28] about

[1:48:29] I

[1:48:29] think

Dan McCoy

[1:48:29] or

S4

[1:48:31] the

[1:48:32] thing

[1:48:32] that

[1:48:32] they

[1:48:32] play

[1:48:32] at

[1:48:32] the

[1:48:33] beginning

[1:48:33] of

[1:48:33] movies

[1:48:33] where

[1:48:34] they

[1:48:34] encourage

[1:48:34] you

[1:48:34] to

[1:48:34] go

[1:48:34] get

[1:48:35] snacks

[1:48:35] or

[1:48:36] the

[1:48:36] thing

[1:48:37] where

[1:48:37] Nicole

[1:48:37] Kidman

Stuart Wellington

[1:48:38] says

[1:48:38] that

[1:48:38] this

[1:48:38] is

[1:48:38] a

[1:48:39] place

[1:48:39] where

[1:48:39] heartbreak

[1:48:40] feels

[1:48:40] okay

[1:48:40] those

[1:48:41] aren't

[1:48:41] movies

Dan McCoy

[1:48:42] in

[1:48:43] a

[1:48:43] movie

[1:48:43] theater

[1:48:44] I

[1:48:44] challenge

[1:48:44] that

[1:48:45] I

[1:48:45] think

[1:48:45] it's

[1:48:45] a

[1:48:45] movie

[1:48:46] Dan

[1:48:46] yeah

[1:48:47] a

[1:48:47] short

[1:48:47] film

S4

[1:48:48] I

[1:48:50] don't

[1:48:51] I

[1:48:51] do

[1:48:51] not

[1:48:51] I

[1:48:52] do

[1:48:52] not

[1:48:52] watch

[1:48:53] a

[1:48:53] ton

[1:48:53] of

[1:48:54] film

[1:48:55] even

[1:48:55] children's

[1:48:55] films

[1:48:56] because

[1:48:56] my

[1:48:57] son

[1:48:58] is on

[1:48:58] that

[1:48:59] YouTube

[1:48:59] kids

[1:49:00] tip

[1:49:00] now

[1:49:01] I

[1:49:01] watch

[1:49:01] a lot

[1:49:01] of

[1:49:02] ranking

[1:49:03] of

[1:49:04] Spongebob

[1:49:05] clips

[1:49:07] and

[1:49:08] a lot

[1:49:10] of

[1:49:10] extremely

[1:49:11] fit

[1:49:12] 20

[1:49:14] somethings

[1:49:15] doing

[1:49:15] back

[1:49:15] flips

[1:49:15] into

[1:49:16] pools

[1:49:16] they

[1:49:16] filled

[1:49:16] with

[1:49:17] shaving

[1:49:17] cream

[1:49:17] inside

[1:49:18] their

[1:49:18] house

[1:49:18] or

[1:49:18] some

[1:49:19] shit

Elliott Kalan

[1:49:19] just

[1:49:20] a lot

[1:49:20] of

[1:49:20] property

[1:49:21] damage

[1:49:21] style

[1:49:22] stuff

[1:49:23] this

[1:49:23] is

[1:49:23] something

[1:49:23] I

[1:49:24] recently

[1:49:24] spent

[1:49:24] some

[1:49:24] time

[1:49:25] with

[1:49:25] my

[1:49:25] niece

[1:49:25] and

[1:49:25] nephew

[1:49:25] I

[1:49:26] hadn't

[1:49:26] seen

[1:49:26] for

[1:49:26] a

[1:49:26] long

[1:49:26] time

[1:49:26] and

[1:49:27] my

[1:49:27] kids

[1:49:27] do

[1:49:27] not

[1:49:28] spend

[1:49:28] any

[1:49:28] time

[1:49:28] on

[1:49:28] YouTube

[1:49:29] the

[1:49:29] only

[1:49:29] time

[1:49:30] they

[1:49:30] watch

[1:49:30] things

[1:49:30] on

[1:49:31] an

[1:49:31] iPad

[1:49:31] is

[1:49:31] to

[1:49:31] watch

[1:49:32] baseball

[1:49:32] highlights

[1:49:33] on

[1:49:33] websites

[1:49:34] and

[1:49:34] my

[1:49:36] niece

[1:49:36] and nephew

[1:49:36] they would

[1:49:37] just sit

[1:49:37] in front

[1:49:37] of

[1:49:37] YouTube

[1:49:38] Your

[1:49:38] brother

[1:49:38] is

Stuart Wellington

[1:49:39] listening

[1:49:39] to

[1:49:39] this

[1:49:39] episode

[1:49:39] and

[1:49:40] he

[1:49:40] just

[1:49:40] cried

[1:49:41] yeah

[1:49:41] he

Elliott Kalan

[1:49:41] cried

[1:49:42] and cried

[1:49:42] in sheer

[1:49:53] four videos

[1:49:53] in

[1:49:54] I

[1:49:54] was

[1:49:54] like

[1:49:54] what

[1:49:54] is

[1:49:55] this

[1:49:55] what

[1:49:55] country

[1:49:55] is

[1:49:56] this

[1:49:56] from

[1:49:56] is

[1:49:56] this

[1:49:56] Alex

S4

[1:49:57] Jones

[1:49:57] but

[1:50:00] Rachel

[1:50:01] and I

[1:50:01] did

[1:50:02] have

[1:50:03] like a

[1:50:04] day

[1:50:04] where

[1:50:04] our

[1:50:05] schedules

[1:50:05] were

[1:50:05] pretty

[1:50:06] open

[1:50:06] and so

[1:50:06] we

[1:50:06] during

[1:50:08] for

[1:50:09] a

[1:50:09] lunch

[1:50:09] date

[1:50:09] we

[1:50:10] went

[1:50:10] to see

[1:50:10] everything

[1:50:10] everywhere

[1:50:11] all at

[1:50:11] once

[1:50:11] and

[1:50:11] it's

[1:50:11] like

[1:50:12] man

[1:50:12] that's

[1:50:13] I'm

[1:50:13] sure

[1:50:14] that

[1:50:14] has

[1:50:15] been

[1:50:15] many

[1:50:15] a

[1:50:15] time

[1:50:16] on

[1:50:17] this

[1:50:17] on

[1:50:17] this

[1:50:17] podcast

[1:50:18] holy

[1:50:18] shit

[1:50:19] it's

[1:50:21] so

Dan McCoy

[1:50:21] great

[1:50:22] yeah

S4

[1:50:22] it's

[1:50:23] it's

[1:50:23] we

[1:50:24] don't

[1:50:24] always

[1:50:24] have

[1:50:25] the

[1:50:25] same

[1:50:25] like

[1:50:27] I

[1:50:28] don't

[1:50:28] know

[1:50:28] kinds

[1:50:29] of

[1:50:29] media

[1:50:30] that

[1:50:30] we

[1:50:31] enjoy

[1:50:31] especially

[1:50:32] fiction

[1:50:32] like

[1:50:33] I

[1:50:34] always

[1:50:34] I

[1:50:34] always

[1:50:35] kind

[1:50:35] of

[1:50:35] feel

[1:50:35] that

[1:50:35] pressure

[1:50:36] of

[1:50:36] like

[1:50:36] is

[1:50:36] this

[1:50:37] something

[1:50:37] I

[1:50:37] loved

[1:50:38] that

[1:50:38] is

[1:50:38] this

[1:50:38] something

[1:50:38] that

[1:50:39] Rachel

[1:50:40] is

[1:50:40] also

[1:50:40] going

[1:50:40] to

[1:50:40] be

[1:50:41] as

[1:50:42] as

[1:50:42] that

[1:50:45] that

[1:50:45] that's

[1:50:46] one

[1:50:46] of

[1:50:46] the

[1:50:46] best

[1:50:46] movies

[1:50:47] I've

[1:50:47] ever

[1:50:47] that's

[1:50:48] one

[1:50:48] of

[1:50:48] the

[1:50:48] best

[1:50:48] movies

[1:50:48] I've

[1:50:48] ever

[1:50:49] seen

[1:50:49] I

[1:50:49] want

[1:50:49] to

[1:50:49] turn

[1:50:50] around

[1:50:50] and

[1:50:50] walk

[1:50:51] right

[1:50:51] back

[1:50:51] into

[1:50:51] that

[1:50:51] film

[1:50:52] which

[1:50:53] considering

[1:50:54] the fact

[1:50:55] that

[1:50:55] movies

[1:50:55] don't

[1:50:55] really

[1:50:56] have

[1:50:56] a

[1:50:56] place

[1:50:56] in

[1:50:56] my

[1:50:57] routine

[1:50:59] right

[1:50:59] now

[1:50:59] is

[1:51:00] really

[1:51:01] saying

[1:51:01] something

[1:51:01] and

[1:51:02] I've

[1:51:03] it

[1:51:03] to

[1:51:03] all

[1:51:04] of

[1:51:04] my

[1:51:04] family

[1:51:04] who

[1:51:05] are

[1:51:05] in

[1:51:05] the

[1:51:05] same

[1:51:05] boat

[1:51:06] that

[1:51:06] I

[1:51:06] am

[1:51:07] and

[1:51:07] they

[1:51:08] have

[1:51:12] our

[1:51:13] tour

[1:51:13] manager

[1:51:13] mentioned

[1:51:15] something

[1:51:16] about it

[1:51:16] and I

[1:51:16] pulled him

[1:51:17] into the

[1:51:17] dressing room

[1:51:17] like

[1:51:18] we gotta

[1:51:18] fucking

[1:51:18] talk about

[1:51:19] this movie

[1:51:19] I have

[1:51:19] nobody

[1:51:20] to

[1:51:20] it's

[1:51:22] one of

[1:51:22] those

[1:51:22] movies

[1:51:23] and it's

[1:51:23] a really

Dan McCoy

[1:51:23] special

[1:51:24] film

[1:51:25] and I'm

[1:51:25] just

[1:51:26] crazy

[1:51:26] about it

[1:51:26] yeah

[1:51:27] that's

[1:51:28] a good

[1:51:28] one

[1:51:29] so

[1:51:29] watch

[1:51:30] those

[1:51:30] movies

[1:51:30] not

[1:51:31] this

[1:51:31] one

S4

[1:51:31] come on

[1:51:32] I also

[1:51:32] saw

[1:51:32] Sonic 2

[1:51:33] yeah

[1:51:34] that was

[1:51:34] a

[1:51:35] fun

[1:51:36] it was

[1:51:36] fun

[1:51:36] yeah

[1:51:37] I had a good

[1:51:37] time

[1:51:38] something

[1:51:38] tells me

[1:51:39] it was

[1:51:40] the Alamo

[1:51:41] Drafthouse

[1:51:42] lost my

[1:51:42] fucking

[1:51:42] son's

[1:51:43] chicken

[1:51:44] tender

[1:51:44] order

[1:51:45] and that

[1:51:45] was

[1:51:45] my

[1:51:46] whole

[1:51:46] day

[1:51:48] at that

[1:51:49] point

[1:51:49] it was

[1:51:49] hard

[1:51:50] to enjoy

[1:51:50] Knuckles

[1:51:51] and Sonic

[1:51:51] like patching

[1:51:52] up and

[1:51:52] being friends

[1:51:53] and collecting

[1:51:54] the chaos

[1:51:54] symbols

[1:51:54] and my

[1:51:55] son's

[1:51:55] like

[1:51:55] Tommy

Stuart Wellington

[1:51:56] hunky

[1:51:56] now

[1:51:57] was your

[1:51:58] son

[1:51:59] nervous

[1:52:00] that

[1:52:01] Sonic

[1:52:02] and Knuckles

[1:52:02] were not

[1:52:03] friends

[1:52:03] at least

[1:52:04] on the

[1:52:04] poster

[1:52:05] of the

[1:52:05] movie

[1:52:05] that

[1:52:06] they're

[1:52:06] like

[1:52:06] shouldn't

[1:52:07] they

[1:52:07] be

[1:52:07] friends

[1:52:08] and

[1:52:08] was

[1:52:08] he

[1:52:09] nervous

[1:52:09] that

[1:52:09] there

[1:52:10] was

[1:52:10] going

[1:52:10] to

[1:52:10] be

[1:52:10] more

[1:52:11] drama

[1:52:11] too

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:11] how

[1:52:12] can

[1:52:12] they

[1:52:12] how

[1:52:12] can

[1:52:13] if

[1:52:14] they're

[1:52:14] not

[1:52:14] friends

[1:52:14] how are

[1:52:14] they

[1:52:14] going to

[1:52:15] have

[1:52:15] a

[1:52:15] baby

[1:52:15] together

[1:52:16] yeah

[1:52:17] he asked

[1:52:19] me

[1:52:19] all those

[1:52:19] questions

Dan McCoy

[1:52:20] and

[1:52:21] luckily

[1:52:22] the movie

[1:52:22] answered

[1:52:23] them all

[1:52:23] and then

[1:52:23] the chicken

[1:52:24] tender

[1:52:24] showed up

[1:52:25] by the

[1:52:25] answer

[1:52:26] every

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:27] dad

[1:52:27] has

[1:52:28] it

[1:52:28] it's

[1:52:30] like

[1:52:31] when I

[1:52:31] took

[1:52:31] my

[1:52:31] older

[1:52:32] son

[1:52:32] to

[1:52:32] see

[1:52:33] No Way

[1:52:33] Home

[1:52:33] and he

[1:52:33] kept

[1:52:33] saying

[1:52:34] which

[1:52:34] is

[1:52:35] Andrew

[1:52:35] Jackson

[1:52:36] Andrew

[1:52:38] Garfield

[1:52:38] different

[1:52:39] presidential

Dan McCoy

[1:52:40] last name

[1:52:40] yeah

[1:52:41] pretty

Stuart Wellington

[1:52:42] good

[1:52:42] though

[1:52:43] close

[1:52:44] enough

[1:52:44] similar

[1:52:45] politics

[1:52:46] let's

[1:52:47] move

[1:52:47] this

[1:52:48] podcast

Dan McCoy

[1:52:51] train

[1:52:51] into the

[1:52:52] station

[1:52:52] I'm

[1:52:53] going to

[1:52:53] give

[1:52:54] just a

[1:52:55] quick

[1:52:55] final

[1:52:55] pitch

[1:52:56] for

[1:52:57] Max

[1:52:57] Fun

[1:52:58] for you

[1:52:59] the

[1:52:59] listener

[1:53:00] to become

[1:53:00] a member

[1:53:00] if you're

[1:53:01] not a

[1:53:01] member

[1:53:01] already

[1:53:02] look

[1:53:02] there's

[1:53:02] a lot

[1:53:03] of

[1:53:03] you

[1:53:03] that

[1:53:03] are

[1:53:04] members

[1:53:04] already

[1:53:04] thank you

[1:53:05] so much

[1:53:05] if you made

Elliott Kalan

[1:53:05] it this

[1:53:06] far

[1:53:06] you made

[1:53:07] it

[1:53:07] in the

[1:53:08] episode

Dan McCoy

[1:53:08] you're

[1:53:09] probably

[1:53:09] a

[1:53:09] member

[1:53:09] you might

[1:53:10] just

Elliott Kalan

[1:53:10] be

[1:53:10] a

[1:53:10] member

[1:53:11] but if

[1:53:11] you're

Dan McCoy

[1:53:13] not

[1:53:13] let me

[1:53:14] just

[1:53:14] say

[1:53:15] that

[1:53:15] doing

[1:53:16] the

[1:53:16] show

[1:53:16] for

[1:53:16] Max

[1:53:16] Fun

[1:53:16] means

[1:53:17] that

[1:53:17] we

[1:53:17] can

[1:53:18] make

[1:53:18] the

[1:53:18] show

[1:53:18] that

[1:53:18] we

[1:53:18] want

[1:53:19] to

[1:53:19] do

[1:53:19] that

[1:53:19] we

[1:53:19] think

[1:53:20] is

[1:53:20] funny

[1:53:20] without

[1:53:22] any

[1:53:23] interference

[1:53:23] from folks

[1:53:23] who might

[1:53:24] not get

[1:53:24] what we're

[1:53:25] all about

[1:53:25] I don't

[1:53:26] I have

[1:53:26] no idea

[1:53:27] why

[1:53:27] anyone

[1:53:27] would not

[1:53:28] get

[1:53:28] what

[1:53:28] this

[1:53:28] show

[1:53:29] is

[1:53:29] all

[1:53:29] about

[1:53:30] all

[1:53:30] the

[1:53:30] non

[1:53:31] specific

[1:53:32] esoteric

[1:53:33] things

[1:53:33] that we

[1:53:34] talk

[1:53:34] about

[1:53:34] but

[1:53:34] thank you

[1:53:35] for

[1:53:35] liking

[1:53:36] it

[1:53:36] as

[1:53:36] well

[1:53:36] and

[1:53:37] I

[1:53:37] want

[1:53:37] to

[1:53:37] say

[1:53:38] that

[1:53:38] the

[1:53:38] network

[1:53:38] just

[1:53:39] offers

[1:53:39] us

[1:53:39] support

[1:53:39] and

[1:53:40] help

[1:53:40] when

[1:53:40] we

[1:53:40] ask

[1:53:40] them

[1:53:40] for

[1:53:41] it

[1:53:41] on

[1:53:41] our

[1:53:41] terms

[1:53:42] and

[1:53:42] it's

[1:53:42] a

[1:53:42] wonderful

[1:53:42] way

[1:53:43] to

[1:53:43] work

[1:53:43] it

[1:53:44] lets

[1:53:44] us

[1:53:44] to

[1:53:44] put

[1:53:44] a

[1:53:45] show

[1:53:45] that's

[1:53:45] silly

[1:53:46] and

[1:53:46] specific

[1:53:46] and

[1:53:47] we have

[1:53:47] a lot

[1:53:47] of fun

[1:53:47] and

[1:53:48] that

[1:53:48] only

[1:53:48] works

[1:53:49] if

[1:53:50] listeners

[1:53:50] like you

[1:53:50] decide

[1:53:51] that

[1:53:51] it

[1:53:51] is

[1:53:51] worth

[1:53:52] something

[1:53:52] to

[1:53:53] support

[1:53:53] creators

[1:53:54] that

[1:53:54] they

[1:53:55] love

[1:53:55] if

[1:53:56] you

[1:53:56] look

[1:53:56] forward

[1:53:56] to

[1:53:56] a

[1:53:57] Saturday

[1:53:57] morning

[1:53:57] because

[1:53:58] you

[1:53:58] know

[1:53:58] a

[1:53:58] new

[1:53:58] podcast

[1:53:59] episode

[1:53:59] is

[1:53:59] out

[1:53:59] if

[1:54:00] you've

[1:54:00] seen

[1:54:00] a

[1:54:00] trailer

[1:54:01] for

[1:54:01] a

[1:54:01] bad

[1:54:01] movie

[1:54:01] and

[1:54:01] thought

[1:54:02] man

[1:54:03] I

[1:54:03] hope

[1:54:03] the

[1:54:03] peaches

[1:54:03] do

[1:54:04] an

[1:54:04] episode

[1:54:04] on

[1:54:04] that

[1:54:05] if

[1:54:06] we've

[1:54:06] kept

[1:54:06] you

[1:54:06] company

[1:54:06] on

[1:54:07] car

[1:54:07] rides

[1:54:07] or

[1:54:07] on

[1:54:08] your

[1:54:08] commute

[1:54:08] just

[1:54:09] please

[1:54:09] consider

[1:54:09] being

[1:54:10] a

[1:54:10] Max

[1:54:10] Fun

[1:54:10] member

[1:54:11] wouldn't

[1:54:12] it

[1:54:12] make

[1:54:12] you

[1:54:12] feel

[1:54:12] good

[1:54:13] to

[1:54:13] support

[1:54:22] thank

[1:54:23] you

[1:54:23] that's

[1:54:24] that's

[1:54:24] the

[1:54:24] last

[1:54:24] of

[1:54:25] the

[1:54:25] advertisements

[1:54:25] for

[1:54:27] ourselves

[1:54:27] and

[1:54:28] the

[1:54:29] cue

[1:54:29] to

[1:54:29] say

[1:54:29] thank

[1:54:29] you

[1:54:30] to

[1:54:30] Griffin

[1:54:30] for

[1:54:31] taking

[1:54:31] the

[1:54:32] time

[1:54:32] out

[1:54:32] of

[1:54:32] his

[1:54:32] busy

[1:54:33] life

[1:54:33] of

[1:54:33] being

[1:54:34] a

[1:54:36] very

[1:54:36] great

[1:54:37] podcaster

[1:54:37] having

[1:54:38] his own

[1:54:38] shows

[1:54:39] having

[1:54:39] two

[1:54:39] children

[1:54:40] and

[1:54:41] a

[1:54:41] family

[1:54:41] to

[1:54:41] deal

[1:54:42] with

[1:54:42] Griffin

[1:54:43] thank

[1:54:43] you

S4

[1:54:44] to

[1:54:44] deal

[1:54:45] with

[1:54:45] well

[1:54:45] I

[1:54:46] mean

[1:54:46] just

[1:54:46] like

[1:54:47] a

[1:54:47] man

[1:54:47] who

[1:54:47] will

[1:54:48] never

[1:54:48] have

[1:54:48] children

[1:54:48] look

[1:54:49] in

[1:54:49] the

[1:54:49] sense

[1:54:50] of

Dan McCoy

[1:54:50] I

[1:54:50] know

[1:54:52] I

[1:54:54] mean

S4

[1:54:54] it's

[1:54:54] 1130

[1:54:55] everybody

[1:54:55] in my

[1:54:56] house

[1:54:56] is

[1:54:56] unconscious

[1:54:56] this

[1:54:57] is

[1:54:57] I

[1:54:58] will

[1:55:00] be

[1:55:00] tired

[1:55:01] tomorrow

[1:55:01] but

[1:55:01] you're

[1:55:01] not

[1:55:02] keeping

[1:55:02] me

[1:55:02] from

[1:55:02] anything

[1:55:03] more

[1:55:04] life

Dan McCoy

[1:55:05] affirming

[1:55:06] if you

[1:55:06] point out

[1:55:07] that I'm

[1:55:07] childless

[1:55:07] that's

[1:55:09] the key

[1:55:09] thing

[1:55:10] I never

[1:55:11] know

[1:55:12] whether

[1:55:12] I'm

[1:55:13] bothering

[1:55:13] someone

[1:55:14] who has

[1:55:14] a

[1:55:15] family

[1:55:15] or

[1:55:15] not

[1:55:15] that

[1:55:16] is

[1:55:16] the

[1:55:16] key

[1:55:17] to

[1:55:17] bothering

[1:55:17] someone

[1:55:17] I

[1:55:18] never

[1:55:19] know

[1:55:19] whether

[1:55:19] you're

[1:55:19] fathering

[1:55:20] someone

[1:55:20] how

[1:55:23] does

[1:55:23] it

S4

[1:55:23] work

[1:55:24] guys

[1:55:24] you

[1:55:24] guys

[1:55:24] are

[1:55:25] fathers

[1:55:25] tell

[1:55:25] me

[1:55:26] when

[1:55:27] it

[1:55:27] happens

[1:55:27] you'll

[1:55:28] know

[1:55:28] it

[1:55:28] changes

[1:55:29] everything

Dan McCoy

[1:55:29] Dan

[1:55:30] but

[1:55:31] check

[1:55:32] out

[1:55:32] the

[1:55:33] mini

[1:55:33] podcast

[1:55:34] that

[1:55:34] Griffin

[1:55:34] is

[1:55:35] on

[1:55:36] on

[1:55:36] the

[1:55:36] Max

[1:55:37] Fun

[1:55:37] Network

[1:55:37] itself

[1:55:38] is there

[1:55:38] anything

[1:55:38] specific

[1:55:39] you want

[1:55:39] to

[1:55:39] plug

[1:55:39] or

[1:55:39] just

[1:55:40] the

[1:55:40] same

S4

[1:55:40] I

[1:55:41] mean

[1:55:41] this

[1:55:41] latest

[1:55:42] season

[1:55:42] of

[1:55:42] Adventure

[1:55:44] Zone

[1:55:44] called

[1:55:44] EtherC

[1:55:45] we've

[1:55:45] been

[1:55:45] doing

[1:55:45] it

[1:55:45] for

[1:55:47] a

[1:55:47] while

[1:55:47] now

[1:55:47] and

[1:55:47] I'm

[1:55:48] having

[1:55:48] a lot

[1:55:49] of

[1:55:49] fun

[1:55:49] doing

[1:55:50] if

[1:55:50] you

[1:55:50] like

[1:55:50] sort

[1:55:52] of

[1:55:52] deep

[1:55:52] sea

[1:55:53] sci-fi

[1:55:54] fantasy

[1:55:55] there's

[1:55:55] probably

[1:55:55] not a

[1:55:56] lot

[1:55:56] of

[1:55:56] that

[1:55:56] out

[1:55:56] there

[1:55:57] if

[1:55:57] you're

[1:55:57] James

[1:55:57] Cameron

[1:55:58] listening

[1:55:59] yeah

[1:55:59] right

[1:55:59] my

[1:56:01] sequest

Stuart Wellington

[1:56:01] fan

[1:56:02] cast

[1:56:02] is

[1:56:02] done

[1:56:03] so

S4

[1:56:04] yeah

[1:56:04] exactly

[1:56:05] that's

[1:56:05] the only

[1:56:05] reference

[1:56:06] that we

[1:56:06] ever

[1:56:06] get

[1:56:07] that

[1:56:07] and

[1:56:07] earth

[1:56:07] sea

[1:56:08] because

[1:56:08] the

[1:56:08] titles

[1:56:08] kind

[1:56:09] of

[1:56:09] look

[1:56:09] the

[1:56:09] same

[1:56:09] but

[1:56:10] yeah

[1:56:11] give

[1:56:11] it

[1:56:11] give

[1:56:11] it

[1:56:11] a

[1:56:11] listen

[1:56:12] well

[1:56:13] thank

[1:56:14] you

[1:56:14] oh

[1:56:14] and my

[1:56:15] dad

[1:56:15] wrote a

[1:56:15] children's

[1:56:15] book

[1:56:16] hey

[1:56:16] as long

[1:56:16] as I'm

[1:56:16] here

[1:56:16] occupying

[1:56:17] your

[1:56:17] time

[1:56:17] yeah

[1:56:18] and it's

[1:56:19] very very

[1:56:20] cute

[1:56:21] what's

[1:56:21] the name

[1:56:21] it's called

[1:56:22] Goldie's Guide

[1:56:23] to Grandchilding

[1:56:24] we haven't

[1:56:25] we

[1:56:25] you know

[1:56:26] since

[1:56:27] because of

[1:56:28] covid

[1:56:28] many travel

[1:56:29] plans and

[1:56:30] christmases

[1:56:30] have been

[1:56:30] sort of

[1:56:31] waylaid

[1:56:31] so we

[1:56:31] actually

[1:56:32] hadn't

[1:56:32] like

[1:56:32] seen

[1:56:33] dad

[1:56:34] in a

[1:56:34] while

[1:56:34] until

[1:56:34] this

[1:56:35] last

[1:56:35] tour

[1:56:35] that

[1:56:35] we

[1:56:35] had

[1:56:35] on

[1:56:35] the

[1:56:35] weekend

[1:56:36] and

[1:56:36] just

[1:56:36] you

[1:56:36] know

[1:56:36] he

[1:56:37] got

[1:56:37] to read

[1:56:37] his

[1:56:38] new

[1:56:38] book

[1:56:38] to

[1:56:38] his

[1:56:39] kids

[1:56:39] and

[1:56:39] it

[1:56:39] was

[1:56:39] a

[1:56:40] delightful

[1:56:41] time

[1:56:41] and

[1:56:42] recreate

[1:56:43] that

[1:56:43] with

[1:56:43] your

[1:56:44] own

[1:56:44] kids

[1:56:44] by

[1:56:44] buying

[1:56:45] the

[1:56:45] book

[1:56:45] yeah

[1:56:46] if

[1:56:46] you

[1:56:46] want

Dan McCoy

[1:56:46] grandchild

[1:56:47] based

[1:56:48] you know

[1:56:48] entertainment

[1:56:49] get that

[1:56:50] instead of

[1:56:50] this

[1:56:50] yeah

S4

[1:56:51] this one

[1:56:52] comes out

[1:56:53] May 10th

[1:56:54] though

[1:56:54] which

[1:56:54] you'll

[1:56:54] have to

[1:56:55] wait

[1:56:55] for it

[1:56:55] while

[1:56:56] War with

[1:56:56] Grandpa

[1:56:56] is out

[1:56:57] and you can

[1:56:57] rent it

[1:56:58] on Apple TV

[1:56:58] for $3.99

[1:56:59] so in that

[1:57:00] department

[1:57:01] War with

[1:57:01] Grandpa

[1:57:02] does beat

[1:57:02] my dad's

[1:57:03] book

[1:57:03] or if

Stuart Wellington

[1:57:04] you're

[1:57:05] like a little

[1:57:05] kid that

[1:57:05] already has

[1:57:06] a Showtime

[1:57:06] subscription

[1:57:07] so you

[1:57:07] could watch

[1:57:07] all the

[1:57:08] shameless

[1:57:08] you

[1:57:08] could

[1:57:09] ever

[1:57:09] watch

[1:57:09] yeah

S4

[1:57:11] you're a

[1:57:12] little

[1:57:12] kid

[1:57:12] who

[1:57:12] fucking

[1:57:12] loves

[1:57:13] billions

[1:57:14] what if

[1:57:14] that

[1:57:14] show

[1:57:15] and this

[1:57:15] movie

[1:57:15] switch

[1:57:16] titles

[1:57:16] I think

[1:57:17] you go

[1:57:17] a little

[1:57:17] something

[1:57:17] like this

[1:57:18] all right

Dan McCoy

[1:57:20] well

[1:57:20] before we

[1:57:22] go

[1:57:22] thanks

[1:57:23] as always

[1:57:23] to Alex

[1:57:24] Smith

[1:57:24] our producer

[1:57:25] you can

[1:57:25] find him

[1:57:26] at

[1:57:27] Howell

[1:57:27] Dottie

[1:57:28] on Twitter

[1:57:29] you can

[1:57:30] probably

[1:57:30] figure out

[1:57:31] what that

[1:57:31] is

[1:57:31] if you

[1:57:32] put

[1:57:32] the

[1:57:33] smallest

[1:57:33] amount

[1:57:34] of effort

[1:57:34] thank you

[1:57:35] Alex

[1:57:35] for

[1:57:36] making

[1:57:37] us

[1:57:38] sound

[1:57:39] good

[1:57:39] and for

[1:57:40] putting up

[1:57:40] with

[1:57:40] putting up

[1:57:42] with

[1:57:42] recommendations

[1:57:43] to check

[1:57:43] you out

[1:57:44] that sound

[1:57:45] like this

[1:57:45] one

[1:57:45] thank you

[1:57:46] so much

[1:57:46] for the

[1:57:48] Flophouse

[1:57:48] I've been

[1:57:49] Dan McCoy

[1:57:49] I've been

[1:57:50] Stuart Wellington

[1:57:51] I've been

[1:57:52] Ellie Caelin

S4

[1:57:53] I've been

[1:57:54] Griffin McElroy

[1:57:55] boom

[1:57:56] we did it

[1:57:57] boom

[1:57:58] boom

Stuart Wellington

[1:57:59] and you all

[1:58:00] said I

[1:58:00] would forget

[1:58:01] we are going

[1:58:04] to say our

[1:58:05] names

[1:58:05] and then you

[1:58:06] should say

[1:58:06] your name

[1:58:07] yeah

[1:58:08] you shouldn't

[1:58:08] wait for us

[1:58:09] to say

[1:58:09] I don't know

[1:58:11] are you out

Elliott Kalan

[1:58:13] are you checking

[1:58:13] out

S4

[1:58:14] I got a lot

[1:58:15] I'm spinning

[1:58:15] a lot of

[1:58:16] fucking plates

[1:58:17] right now

[1:58:17] and the last

[1:58:18] thing I need

[1:58:19] is to learn

[1:58:20] more podcast

[1:58:21] structures

[1:58:21] yeah

[1:58:22] okay

[1:58:22] fine

[1:58:23] we'll point

[1:58:24] to you

[1:58:25] aggressively

[1:58:26] and I say

[1:58:27] and I'm

[1:58:27] Granbo

[1:58:28] Mumblechrom

[1:58:29] maximumfun.org

[1:58:33] comedy and

S5

[1:58:34] culture

[1:58:34] artist owned

[1:58:35] audience supported

Ep. #368 - The War with Grandpa, with Griffin McElroy

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