Ep.#463 - Until Dawn, with Hallie Haglund

Stuart Wellington

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Until Dawn.

[0:03] An odd conclusion to Richard Linklater's Before Trilogy.

Dan McCoy

[0:30] Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:33] Oh, hey. That's Dan McCoy, and this is Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:37] I'm looking at Dan McCoy and Stuart Wellington, and I like what I see.

[0:40] My name is Elliot Kalin, and today we're joined by a very special guest.

[0:44] You might even call her the star of the show.

Hallie Haglund

[0:46] Coming at you hot, this is Hallie Haglund.

Stuart Wellington

[0:49] Oh, wow. Too hot.

[0:51] Have you been moonlighting as a shock shock radio DJ?

Dan McCoy

[1:00] Demon soundboard, Hallie Haglund.

[1:01] You straightened your shirt, and I thought you were like,

[1:03] yeah, I'm wearing this Neil Young shirt where all shock shocks wear.

[1:06] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[1:08] It does have a megaphone on it.

[1:11] That feels kind of shock jocky.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13] There are a lot of shock shocks who are searching for a heart of gold.

Dan McCoy

[1:15] Yeah.

[1:16] Mm-hmm.

[1:17] Well, we're all back in our respective coasts.

[1:20] Of course, I was just out there seeing Elliot briefly and Hallie briefly as well,

[1:25] but now there's two folks on each coast.

[1:29] It's all balanced out.

[1:30] It's all comfortable.

Stuart Wellington

[1:30] Finally, the American continent won't flip over anymore.

Dan McCoy

[1:33] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:33] Now, guys, real quick.

[1:35] Let's be real for a second.

[1:36] Dan, cover your ears.

[1:38] Was Dan a good guest, or was he a real pain in the ass?

Elliott Kalan

[1:41] No, Dan was a great guest.

[1:42] He rolled with some scheduling mishaps that were my fault,

[1:46] and he did a great job with it.

[1:47] Very unlike him.

[1:49] And I felt like he's shown a lot of maturity and development.

[1:52] He was very good with my younger son.

[1:54] He drew Italian brain rot after Italian brain rot at my son's request.

[1:58] So Dan was a great, good guest.

[2:00] Yeah.

[2:01] Oh, thank you.

Dan McCoy

[2:02] Yeah.

[2:03] I was listening.

[2:04] I didn't follow your instructions.

Elliott Kalan

[2:07] You didn't put your hands over the headphones that are on your ears right now?

[2:10] Yeah, I tried.

[2:10] I didn't do anything.

Stuart Wellington

[2:11] You put them inside the headphones.

[2:12] It's possible.

[2:13] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[2:15] Yeah, because Dan is a flat Stanley.

[2:16] He's got very thin fingers.

[2:18] Yeah.

[2:19] Flat Stanley.

Dan McCoy

[2:20] Thank you.

[2:22] This is, of course, Shocktober.

[2:25] We're doing our second.

[2:26] Oh.

[2:27] Yeah.

[2:27] Sorry to shock you.

[2:30] Yeah.

[2:30] I've installed Tingler things in your little seats.

[2:33] Yeah.

[2:34] Yeah.

[2:35] And we did, of course, we did Imaginary last week.

[2:39] And of course.

[2:40] Or last episode.

[2:41] Dan, here's where my head is at.

[2:42] Here's where my head is at.

Elliott Kalan

[2:43] I forgot we did Imaginary.

[2:45] So I kept being like, am I watching the right movie?

[2:48] Did I get it wrong?

[2:49] What's going on?

[2:50] Did I?

[2:50] Oh, wait.

[2:51] And I had to keep looking up our schedule that we have internally.

[2:54] Be like, oh, yeah, Imaginary.

[2:55] Oh, yeah, that's a movie.

[2:57] Why?

[2:57] So what are we watching now?

Stuart Wellington

[2:58] So I.

[2:59] Yeah, like you were in some kind of weird like time loop.

[3:02] Exactly.

[3:02] You couldn't get out of.

[3:03] And I texted.

[3:04] Scarier than any of the movies we watched.

Dan McCoy

[3:06] I texted Hallie with the option of watching either Imaginary or Until Dawn.

[3:11] And she was like, people would expect me to do Imaginary.

[3:15] So I think I'm going to pick Until Dawn.

Hallie Haglund

[3:17] Well, did I make a bad choice?

[3:19] Was Imaginary?

[3:20] No.

[3:20] What did you guys think of Imaginary?

Dan McCoy

[3:22] Bad.

[3:22] I mean, neither of these are.

[3:24] I mean, they're on the Flophouse, both of them.

[3:26] So there is no good choice.

[3:27] So what does that tell you?

Hallie Haglund

[3:27] I feel like the last few movies I've watched for the Flophouse have been really good.

[3:30] I mean, you watch what?

Elliott Kalan

[3:31] Italian Mafia Mama, right?

[3:32] Exactly.

[3:33] Yeah, that one rocks.

[3:34] That's true.

Hallie Haglund

[3:34] The last one I watched was.

[3:35] Oh, the monkey one.

[3:38] That was so good.

[3:39] Oh, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[3:39] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[3:40] Solid Man.

[3:41] What's it called?

[3:41] Real Man?

[3:42] Oh.

[3:43] Rock and Roll Man?

[3:44] Better Man.

[3:45] Robbie Williams one.

[3:46] Better Man, yeah.

[3:46] I'm not going to.

[3:47] The best movie of the century.

[3:49] I went to a video store and I asked for it because I like to watch things on physical media.

[3:52] And I go, can you give me a copy of Better Man?

[3:55] And they looked and looked and they can't find a better man.

Stuart Wellington

[3:59] Wow.

[3:59] That's still paying dividends there.

Dan McCoy

[4:02] No, I would say I don't want to tip my hand too much about where we're going with this.

[4:07] I won't say any more than this, but I definitely enjoyed this more than I enjoyed imaginary.

[4:12] For sure.

[4:12] Yeah.

[4:13] Yeah.

[4:14] Do we want to get in on this piece?

Elliott Kalan

[4:16] It's rare that we get to watch a movie where this many people explode during the movie.

[4:20] That's true.

Dan McCoy

[4:21] Some multiple times.

Stuart Wellington

[4:23] High on the explodometer.

[4:24] Yeah.

[4:25] Explodometer.

[4:26] Guys, before we get into this, we got to address the elephant in the room.

[4:32] Get out of here.

[4:34] The fact that this is a movie based on a video game.

[4:39] Mm-hmm.

[4:39] It's a video game.

Elliott Kalan

[4:40] Hence the PlayStation Studios logo at the beginning.

Stuart Wellington

[4:43] Yeah.

[4:43] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[4:43] That's, you fucking found all the clues.

[4:46] They're right there for you.

Elliott Kalan

[4:47] Mr. Policeman, Sony and PlayStation told us everything we needed to know.

[4:50] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[4:51] No, I'm assuming, Hallie, the reason we watch this is because you were a big fan of the video game.

[4:55] Is that true?

[4:56] Huge, huge Until Dawn head.

[4:58] Uh-huh.

[4:59] Now, Until Dawn is like a semi-FMV game where you just wander around exploring.

[5:07] Yeah.

[5:07] And there's occasional moments where you have to do little, you have to hit a button at the right time or something rips your head off.

Hallie Haglund

[5:14] Like jump over something.

Stuart Wellington

[5:15] Yeah.

[5:16] Well, there's very little jumping.

[5:18] It's not an action game.

[5:19] It's more like a weird movie exploring game.

[5:21] Collect coins.

[5:22] Any coins?

[5:23] No coins.

[5:24] You have to throw at the slasher to be like, can I pay you off?

[5:28] And this is a video game that is like, it basically is a, it's attempting to recreate the feel of like watching a horror movie, but you get to make all the calls.

[5:37] Yeah.

[5:38] And it had a, it had a bunch of-

Elliott Kalan

[5:41] The calls are coming from inside the you.

Stuart Wellington

[5:43] And the, yeah, that was our initial tagline.

[5:47] It didn't work for some reason.

Elliott Kalan

[5:49] We're like, there's a killer with a phone in my tummy?

Stuart Wellington

[5:51] Yeah.

[5:53] That's how I feel sometimes.

Elliott Kalan

[5:55] Now-

[5:56] It sounds like a giallo.

[5:58] There's a killer with a phone in my tummy.

[5:59] I mean, that's a great title.

Stuart Wellington

[6:02] Baby's first giallo.

[6:05] The, so, and, and the video game has a cast of, you know, teens involved in a murder thing.

[6:13] And those, those characters are voiced and the characters resemble the actors that play them, including Hayden Panettere?

[6:20] Panettere?

[6:21] Yeah, I don't know.

[6:22] And Rami Malek.

[6:24] I think this is what actually got him, got him his Academy Award, not Bohemian Rhapsody.

[6:28] Oh, wow.

[6:29] And of course, Peter Stromer, who in the, in the game is kind of like a, is kind of like a cryptkeeper type figure who's like narrating things and kind of doing like, like little chapter heads.

[6:41] And he's kind of playing the same role that he ends up playing this movie, spoiler alert, but he's less of an antagonist.

[6:46] He's just, you know, there.

[6:48] And I think that of the current working actors, Peter Stromer is a pretty good choice for like a, like a human cryptkeeper.

Dan McCoy

[6:55] Effectively, this is one of the few semi-recent, I mean, it's like a decade old now, but like they did a remaster of it, like a semi-recent game that I actually have some experience of.

[7:05] Yeah.

[7:06] And it's, it's a weird thing where like.

[7:08] Because they haven't made like a leisure suit Larry in a while.

[7:10] Yeah.

[7:11] Yeah.

[7:11] Um, but like this got a lot of, I think, uh, shit from people who played the game because it introduces this like time loop element that has nothing to do with what's in the game.

[7:23] Oh, is that not in the game?

[7:23] It's not in the game at all.

[7:24] Oh.

[7:24] But the thing is like, I understand like why they made that choice because as Stuart said, the game is just an attempt to be like, can we make a slasher movie as a game and like have that be the experience?

[7:37] And if you transform it back into a movie, it's just like, well, okay, it's just a slasher movie.

[7:41] Yeah.

[7:41] Like I understand why they thought they should do this.

[7:43] It's like watching somebody do a playthrough of the game.

Elliott Kalan

[7:45] Can we do a movie that's like a slasher movie?

[7:47] You can.

[7:48] Yes.

[7:48] They've made many of them.

[7:49] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[7:50] Like, whereas this like kind of is like, I guess they're going off the conceptual idea of like, like a video game, you can reset, you know, you go back to a different point.

[7:58] You can try something else to see if your choices are better.

[8:00] But after a while, you turn into a weird monster.

[8:02] Yeah.

[8:02] Just like in a video game, you turn into a Wendigo.

Hallie Haglund

[8:05] Turn into an incel.

Elliott Kalan

[8:07] They're, they're, I will say, they're, they're, they're depicted.

[8:11] Their depiction of Wendigos, I felt like was a little, a little loose.

Dan McCoy

[8:15] Yeah.

[8:15] They're ghouls.

[8:17] It's a, the Wendigo, for those who don't know, is a First Nation monster that.

[8:23] A hunger spirit.

[8:24] It's a hunger spirit.

[8:25] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[8:25] It often has something to do with cannibalism.

Elliott Kalan

[8:26] You turn into one if you eat another person sometimes.

Hallie Haglund

[8:28] Why do you say First Nation?

[8:30] What's First Nation?

Elliott Kalan

[8:31] Well, like a Native American.

[8:33] Indigenous Canadian.

[8:33] Oh, that's what I thought.

Hallie Haglund

[8:34] But then I was like, that couldn't be what he's talking about.

Elliott Kalan

[8:36] No, that's exactly what it is.

[8:37] Oh, okay.

[8:38] Hallie, the Indigenous peoples of the Americas have a rich folklore of monsters.

Hallie Haglund

[8:41] I believe, I know that, but I just didn't know that Dan was so well-versed.

Stuart Wellington

[8:45] Dan's a big fan of the BPRD and the issues with the Wendigo character.

Elliott Kalan

[8:49] Those are great issues.

[8:50] But Dan, I'm not sure, also mostly knows the Wendigo from his appearances in Marvel Comics,

[8:54] where he's, where he was there when Wolverine first appeared.

[8:57] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[8:57] And he just says his name a lot, right?

[8:58] He does.

[8:59] He always goes, Wendigo.

Elliott Kalan

[9:01] Yeah, that's pretty cool.

[9:01] As if he's always introducing himself.

Hallie Haglund

[9:03] He's like a Pokemon character.

Elliott Kalan

[9:04] Yeah, yeah.

[9:05] And you got to catch them all.

[9:06] Yeah.

[9:07] Because they'll eat you if you don't.

[9:08] Just like Pikachu.

[9:09] Yeah, but don't eat them.

[9:09] What do you think Pikachu is Pikachu-ing?

[9:12] Human flesh.

Stuart Wellington

[9:13] And how about let us go on with a summary?

[9:17] So, we have a...

[9:19] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[9:21] You're right, Stu.

[9:22] The minute the mic turned on, your hangover disappeared.

Stuart Wellington

[9:24] I'll allow it.

[9:25] Only good stuff.

[9:27] Okay, so this is a modern horror movie, so you know this bitch starts with a cold open.

[9:33] We have a young woman covered in dirt climbing through some tunnels.

[9:37] This is Melanie.

[9:38] And she is running from some flesh-eating ghouls.

[9:41] She claws her way out of this tunnel grave type thing.

[9:45] It feels a lot like we're watching The Descent in this one.

[9:49] There's going to be a lot of things in this movie that are going to remind you of other better movies.

[9:53] Yeah.

[9:53] So, she claws her way out of the dirt, only to be confronted with a masked slasher character.

[10:00] And before he kills her...

Hallie Haglund

[10:01] She moves her butt a lot more than she needs to also.

[10:04] Did you notice when she's climbing out?

Dan McCoy

[10:06] Well, what is need?

[10:07] That's the thing.

Elliott Kalan

[10:10] Slowing her down.

Stuart Wellington

[10:11] And I think it's also...

Elliott Kalan

[10:13] So, you're like less shimmying.

[10:14] Less shimmying when you're trying to get away.

Stuart Wellington

[10:17] Yeah.

[10:17] Yeah, like she's stunting on those ghouls.

[10:18] She's like, look, you can't catch me.

Elliott Kalan

[10:21] You could have all this, but you ghoul it.

Stuart Wellington

[10:25] Yeah.

[10:26] But you're quiet.

Elliott Kalan

[10:26] I got to get away from these ghouls.

[10:27] Chork, chork, chork, chork, chork.

[10:28] Got to get away.

Stuart Wellington

[10:30] So, she's confronted by this masked killer.

[10:33] And before he kills her, she says, like, please don't kill me again.

[10:36] And you're like, what again?

[10:39] Okay.

[10:41] Cut.

[10:41] To like a year later, I think.

[10:43] We have five friends who are trying to track down one of their...

[10:46] Now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now.

Dan McCoy

[10:49] Did you think as I did?

[10:51] Sorry that I'm interrupting right away.

[10:52] That like...

[10:53] That their apartment was huge?

[10:54] Yes, Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[10:55] It's a huge apartment for New York City.

Elliott Kalan

[10:57] How could they afford it on their salaries?

[10:59] Impossible.

[10:59] But it's TV.

[11:00] Come on.

[11:00] It was a mistake to make all of these characters.

[11:01] They always get the same table at the coffee place.

[11:04] And it's clearly the most desirable table because it's where the couches are.

[11:07] What, do they have someone staking out that table at all times?

[11:10] It's a TV show.

[11:11] It's okay.

Dan McCoy

[11:12] So, it's a slasher.

[11:13] So, all the characters are going to be somewhat interchangeable in the first place.

[11:16] And they made all of these characters brunette.

[11:19] Like, I...

[11:19] Like, the most different is one of them is Asian.

[11:22] I think from her name that she's Korean.

[11:23] But like, that's it.

[11:25] Like, it was too similar in terms of like...

[11:28] One of them had a strange people.

[11:29] I mean, there's only...

Hallie Haglund

[11:30] Yeah.

[11:30] There's only two other girls.

[11:32] So, you just wanted...

[11:33] Well, then there's...

[11:34] It was impossible for you to keep track of the difference between these two girls with brown hair?

Dan McCoy

[11:38] I'm not saying it was like I couldn't do it.

[11:41] I'm saying that like...

[11:42] I know that like when you're casting these things, like a good rule of thumb is like,

[11:46] let's get a variety of people in here.

[11:48] And...

[11:48] Yeah.

[11:48] You got a fighter, a cleric, a rogue.

[11:51] Yeah.

[11:51] Ranger.

Elliott Kalan

[11:52] Yeah.

[11:52] This was not an issue for me.

[11:53] No.

[11:53] I think, Dan, what helped me with telling them apart was they all had different faces.

[11:56] Yeah.

[11:57] They did, yeah.

[11:57] And characters.

Dan McCoy

[11:58] I could fucking tell them apart, but I know people who have trouble with this shit.

[12:04] And like, I guarantee you that the sort of person who has trouble with this would have

[12:08] a lot of trouble with this.

Elliott Kalan

[12:08] Dan's really into old-time radio, so he likes to watch his TV with his eyes closed.

[12:12] Uh-huh.

Dan McCoy

[12:13] Well...

[12:13] And as Audrey described what's happening...

[12:14] If that was the case, one of them has a very distinctive voice, so...

[12:17] No, you can have objections.

[12:18] No, no, no.

[12:19] Due to overwhelming pushback.

Elliott Kalan

[12:22] One of them reminded me a lot of Pamela Adlon, which makes sense, because it was Pamela Adlon's

[12:25] daughter.

[12:26] Yeah.

[12:27] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[12:28] Okay, so...

[12:29] That's the only piece of trivia I knew coming into this.

[12:32] Sorry.

[12:32] We have Clover, who is the one missing a sister.

[12:36] We have Nina, who is her friend who has, I don't know, like, a rocky history of relationships.

[12:41] We have Nina's newest boyfriend, Abe, who is tall and drives.

Elliott Kalan

[12:45] I thought it was very funny his name was Abe.

[12:48] Not a name I associate with, like, tall, handsome guys.

[12:50] Other than the original, the tallest and the handsomest, Abraham Lincoln.

[12:55] Abe Sapien.

[12:56] Yeah, Abe Sapien, the tall, handsome fish man.

[12:58] But just every time they'd be like, Abe, where's Abe?

[13:01] And I'm like, I kept imagining an old man, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[13:04] We have Max, and we have Megan.

[13:07] Megan is psychic.

Dan McCoy

[13:09] Can I just say, there's a part in here where, like, they make a point of how, what is it,

[13:13] Nina always breaks up with the boyfriends after, like, three months or whatever.

[13:19] And I thought this movie was going to, knowing that there was a time loop, I thought they

[13:25] were going to make hay out of, like, the fact that she was now stuck with this dude, and

[13:29] there was no payoff for that at all.

[13:31] Like, I felt that was a setup without a punchline.

[13:34] It's just character stuff.

[13:35] It's just character texture, you know.

Hallie Haglund

[13:36] I have a question.

[13:37] How old do you guys think these people were supposed to be?

[13:40] Like, 30?

[13:41] Really?

[13:42] I mean, they could be.

[13:43] It was like, they could be 18 or 30.

[13:45] I had no idea.

[13:45] I assume they were all, like, 23.

[13:48] Maybe 22.

[13:49] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[13:49] I don't know.

[13:49] Like, fresh out of college?

[13:51] Fresh out of college, exactly.

[13:52] Or Compton.

Stuart Wellington

[13:54] I guess.

[13:55] Or the box.

Elliott Kalan

[13:55] I mean, I think they're in the, again, not averse enough to be fresh out of Compton.

[14:00] No, well, they're exchange students, I guess, at Compton High.

[14:03] But I assumed that these were all kids who were fresh out of college, exactly.

[14:07] But you're right.

[14:07] It could be.

[14:08] There's a part, a flashback to Clover and her sister, who they're looking for.

[14:11] We'll find out.

[14:12] Arguing.

[14:13] And it's like, they're in a house.

[14:15] It's like, do they own this house?

[14:16] Have they just inherited it?

[14:18] Are they just visiting?

[14:18] Are they squatting?

Dan McCoy

[14:20] I've heard of looking over a Clover, but a Clover looking for someone else?

[14:27] I got the audience back.

Elliott Kalan

[14:29] Yeah.

[14:30] Dan, you got them back with a surplus.

[14:33] Now you can say a couple of racist things and we'll still be on your side.

[14:35] That's how good that was.

Stuart Wellington

[14:36] I wouldn't, though.

[14:37] Okay.

[14:38] So they are on a road trip trying to track down Clover's missing sister, Melanie,

[14:43] who we would remember from moments ago in the cold open.

[14:47] Cold open Melanie, they call her.

[14:48] They stop at a rural gas station where they have a brief,

[14:54] we get a little bit of character background,

[14:56] and we have a brief interaction with gas station attendant Peter Stroh-Mare

[14:59] which I don't know about you guys.

[15:01] I'd be like, I'm leaving.

[15:03] Yes.

[15:03] No, thank you.

Elliott Kalan

[15:05] It is real Texas Chainsaw Massacre roadside barbecue vibes here where it's like,

[15:11] you know this guy's bad news.

[15:12] You should get out of this place.

[15:14] You know.

Stuart Wellington

[15:14] And spoiler alert, he will come back later and he is the antagonist of the movie.

[15:20] Peter Stormare?

[15:21] Yep.

[15:21] Well, his character is like something hill or something.

Elliott Kalan

[15:25] It is very funny to have a guy with an accent as thick as his attempting to be just a roadside guy on an American rural highway.

Stuart Wellington

[15:34] I also like his haircut a lot.

[15:36] It's really cool.

[15:36] Yeah.

[15:38] And he gives them a lead that there's a nearby town or area called Glor Valley where there's been a lot of missing people.

Elliott Kalan

[15:48] Glor Valley, it sounds to me like a place that orcs would live, you know.

[15:53] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[15:53] I wrote it down in my notes for my next RPG campaign.

Dan McCoy

[15:57] Before the time loop was explained, I was worried that the twist was like going to be that there are like literally in a video game called Return to Glor Valley or something like that.

[16:06] And, but it wasn't.

Elliott Kalan

[16:08] That's the kind of idea that is both too clever and too stupid.

[16:11] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[16:13] That's what I specialize in, Ellie.

[16:16] Okay.

[16:17] So they, while they're trying to find Glor Valley, they get caught in this crazy rainstorm and they want to turn back, but then they find a very odd pocket of area, I guess, of land that where there is no rain at all.

[16:32] It's like the eye of the storm.

Dan McCoy

[16:33] James Bond's villain odd pocket.

[16:36] He pulls like weapons out of his pocket.

Elliott Kalan

[16:38] He throws like lint and stuff, you know, whatever's in the pocket.

[16:42] Yeah, exactly.

[16:43] There's a thimble.

[16:47] In my hands, anything is a weapon.

[16:49] Pulls a gun out of his pocket.

[16:50] Well, but that is a weapon.

[16:51] Hold on a second.

[16:52] But odd pocket can turn anything into a weapon.

[16:54] Pulls a knife out of his pocket.

[16:56] Again, anyone could use that as a weapon.

[16:57] Pocket's not seeming that odd today, odd pocket.

[17:00] But I just have one.

[17:01] I just have one.

[17:02] I just have the one pocket.

[17:03] I sewed another one shut.

[17:04] But my hand was still in it, so I can't fight with that hand.

Stuart Wellington

[17:07] Like a kangaroo.

[17:10] Yeah.

[17:11] Kangaroos do pull weapons out of their pockets.

[17:15] So, as I said, they find the one odd pocket of clear air.

[17:21] And in this little, like, glade, I guess, there is a...

[17:25] The Glore Glade, yeah.

[17:26] Yep.

[17:26] There's a visitor center.

[17:28] Classic Glore Glade.

[17:30] There is a visitor center for Glore Valley, and that is it.

[17:34] It's otherwise an empty area.

[17:36] So they, of course, park that car.

[17:39] They don't want to go back out in that rainstorm.

[17:41] And they begin exploring, finding all kinds of odd things in this visitor center.

Dan McCoy

[17:46] I want to give a little backstory here for a second for the listener.

[17:49] Now, of course, our friend Stephen Kostansky has a movie out, Death Stalker.

[17:55] Yep.

[17:55] And Stuart was honored to be the moderator for a Q&A last night.

[18:00] I believe you're doing one again tonight.

[18:02] Uh-huh, yep.

[18:03] And, you know, afterwards, went out with Stephen, had a few drinks.

[18:07] And so now the Until Dawn-style challenge that Stuart has to get through is to be the person doing the summary with a hangover while we all interrupt him over and over again.

Stuart Wellington

[18:19] At this point, I'm just like water.

[18:21] I'm like, whatever.

[18:22] Just go along with it, baby.

Elliott Kalan

[18:23] Now, if you were these people and you were in a visitor center like this, would you be suspicious as soon as you saw the wall-mounted hourglass with a skull on it?

[18:33] Or would you say, I'm going to continue to explore after seeing it?

Stuart Wellington

[18:37] Continue to explore.

[18:38] I've played a lot of these video games.

[18:40] The first thing I do, find the bathroom to make sure it works because they were just driving.

[18:45] It was rainy.

[18:46] You know you got to go to the bathroom.

[18:47] No, but I was just imagining in a video game, do you need to find the bathroom?

Elliott Kalan

[18:49] That's the –

[18:50] But that bathroom, once they get in there, it's very dangerous to be in there.

[18:53] You don't want contact with that water as we'll get to.

[18:54] Yeah.

[18:55] But they check the – what else?

[18:57] They check the ledger.

[18:59] Yeah, there's a ledger.

Stuart Wellington

[19:00] Yeah.

[19:01] Here are the mysterious items.

[19:03] There's this mysterious clock with an hourglass and a skull.

[19:04] Journey to the mysterious items.

[19:06] Yeah.

[19:07] There's the like guestbook ledger that people sign in that is filled with the same names over and over that get crazier and crazier as they like looser and more haphazard scroll.

Dan McCoy

[19:19] That's a detail I liked.

[19:20] Like certainly in a better horror movie, I would like it a lot like where it's the same name being signed in again and again but it deteriorates over time.

Stuart Wellington

[19:30] And then of course there's a big punch board filled with missing person things that I think doesn't have any other information other than it says missing and their picture.

[19:40] And a picture.

Elliott Kalan

[19:40] So this is – once it was made clear this is kind of like a semi-supernatural thing, I was like, okay, that's fine.

[19:48] But then seeing them again – seeing them for the first time, I was like, what kind of missing posters are these?

[19:53] Like literally – yeah, there's no contact information.

[19:55] There's no name.

[19:56] So all it's telling you is this –

[19:57] No reward?

[19:58] No, this face is missing.

[20:00] Do what you will with that information.

[20:02] But it's because it's all supernatural.

[20:04] It's just scary spooky.

Hallie Haglund

[20:06] What I do think was a good scene when she – when Megan gets pretty close to here, when she gets taken over by whatever spirit and then she goes in front of the board and she's pointing at each of the missing –

[20:20] Yeah.

[20:20] That was great.

Stuart Wellington

[20:21] Yeah, and she's doing their voices.

Hallie Haglund

[20:22] She was – she might win an Oscar.

[20:25] Oscar page.

[20:25] Yeah, might.

Stuart Wellington

[20:27] You heard it here, folks.

[20:28] Mm-hmm.

[20:29] If Hallie gets it, she wins the whole Oscar pool.

[20:32] All right.

[20:35] So they explore a little bit.

[20:37] Obviously, they're all confused and they're like trying to get pieced together what's going on.

[20:42] They find that there's a basement area that is actually – feels more like a ground floor because there's windows down there.

[20:50] And it's fully furnished.

[20:52] It's beautiful.

[20:53] I feel like you could rent this out.

[20:55] Yeah.

[20:56] Unfortunately, there's already – there's an unwanted guest and that is the masked maniac who begins chopping them all up.

[21:05] And there's some good – I don't know.

[21:07] How do you feel about – I thought there's a bit where Max tries to smash the maniac over the back with a chair.

[21:13] And then the maniac stabs him through the eyeball with a chair leg or something and his like eye pops out.

[21:20] And I thought that was a cool bit.

[21:21] What do you think, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[21:22] Yeah.

[21:23] You know, I mean like there's – this is, you know, for what could be, you know, as a sort of teen horror movie, it could be the sort of like PG-13 slop that we got for a long time.

[21:37] There's a lot of fun, weird gore that happens in this movie.

[21:42] And I also think that if I had watched it in this movie not knowing anything about it, it would have been sort of shocking to me, I think to some degree, that like it's like, oh, we're going on a speed run of killing off all of the characters.

[21:55] Yeah, all the characters are now dead.

Hallie Haglund

[21:57] Wait, though.

[21:57] I had an issue with this part because in the first attack, the monster seems like impervious to violence.

[22:07] They keep trying to kill him and nothing kills him.

[22:10] And then that – you think that that's going to be like a defining detail of these monsters as you continue.

[22:15] But then they can totally kill them later.

[22:17] I don't understand.

Stuart Wellington

[22:18] Yeah, it's weird.

[22:20] I think there's some kind of an element where as we'll later find out that everything is kind of born out of her specific fears or phobias, that the idea of like an unstoppable monster is one of them.

[22:32] But as they become more used to it, it becomes less – it has less power over them, I think.

[22:36] Yeah.

[22:37] That would be my guess too.

[22:38] Like our own fears.

Elliott Kalan

[22:38] Once they stop being as afraid because my – the thing I had with this was, yeah, these bad guys – this happens in horror movies though I feel like where as the movie gets on, the bad guy becomes less impervious just because like the movie's got to end at some point.

[22:55] But especially the characters are – they become less afraid over time, which is understandable because once you know that you're going to get killed a bunch of times, I feel like getting killed becomes less scary.

[23:05] Yeah.

[23:06] You know, right?

Dan McCoy

[23:06] Well, and that idea – the idea of like this being like, as you say, Stuart, a reflection of her fears, like that idea like comes so late in the movie that I'm of two minds of like – like the rest of the movie seemed like there's such a mishmash of stuff.

[23:23] Like it was just like I couldn't get scared by any of it because it felt like a haunted house.

[23:29] Like we're going to throw everything at you.

[23:31] We got this kind of monster and this one.

[23:33] The witch?

Elliott Kalan

[23:33] What the fuck did the witch have to do with anything?

[23:36] Spoiler alert.

[23:36] This is something I like about the movie.

[23:38] Is there like – has it been in a horror movie before?

[23:41] Sure.

[23:41] Throw it into this one.

[23:42] Why not?

[23:43] Put it in the bag.

[23:43] Jumble it around.

[23:44] And I think when – at the end when Peter Stamare is like, this is a – it's a reflection of your fears.

[23:49] I was like, this feels like he doesn't really understand what he's talking about and he's just kind of making it up.

Stuart Wellington

[23:54] No, I –

[23:55] It would have been funnier if he was like, yeah, so you've probably seen horror movies and this is what you think about.

[24:00] I like the variety.

[24:01] You're a big horror fan, aren't you?

[24:03] Not really.

[24:04] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[24:04] It's fucking Psycho Manus over here reading her memory card.

[24:07] I like the variety for sure.

[24:09] I just kind of feel like, well, would this work better if it was just literally like, oh, we went to a haunted house that somehow came to life and every weird thing is attached.

Elliott Kalan

[24:18] It would be because when the bad guys are chasing them by the end, it does feel very haunted hayride Halloween horror nights.

Stuart Wellington

[24:23] Yeah, like 13 nights at Freddy's.

Elliott Kalan

[24:27] Too many nights.

[24:29] Freddy's like, I got to get these people out of here.

[24:31] I only thought they were going to stay for five nights.

[24:33] It's been 13.

[24:34] You know what Franklin said?

[24:36] Guests and fish stink after three days and it's been way longer than that.

[24:40] How do we get them out of here?

Stuart Wellington

[24:41] I think he calls them Ben.

[24:42] I think they know each other.

Elliott Kalan

[24:43] Ben Franklin stayed at Freddy's for three nights and said, I understand.

[24:48] I don't want to stay longer than that, Frederick.

Stuart Wellington

[24:52] Man, you really got a lot of the impressions tonight.

[24:55] Whenever Ben visits, he brings that mouse along with him.

[25:01] So all our characters are dead and then they wake up back in the place they were when they first started exploring the visitor center.

[25:10] We got a time loop situation.

[25:12] So our characters kind of like argue a little bit, trying to figure out exactly what happened.

[25:17] In this process, they continue exploring.

[25:22] Megan has her psychic episode where she seems to be possessed and then dies.

[25:27] Then Clover gets dragged by some invisible force into a new house that had appeared across the way that has all kind of scary stuff on it.

[25:36] Inside, we have a creepy old witch with an oxygen tank.

[25:41] And the witch pins her down and basically explains that they're trapped in a cursed mining town that was swallowed up by the earth.

[25:50] And that if you don't survive the night, you become one with the night.

[25:55] Like Bane.

[25:56] And then she puts that gas mask on Clover's mouth.

[26:00] And then that turns, it possesses her.

[26:02] And then she kills someone.

[26:04] And everybody dies again.

Elliott Kalan

[26:05] And the witch just kind of turns into, just deteriorates into dust, right?

Hallie Haglund

[26:10] And there are also tons of those like harlequin masks around the house.

Stuart Wellington

[26:15] That's true.

[26:16] Yeah, yeah.

[26:16] Like, yeah, like eyes wide shut, domino masks.

Elliott Kalan

[26:19] It was around here that I was like, oh, this movie's just going to throw a bunch of stuff in.

[26:24] And I was like, all right, movie, let's see what other stuff you got.

[26:26] Yeah, lots of stuff.

Dan McCoy

[26:27] And I got to say, like, as much as I objected to it to some degree, like, if you're not going to make a good movie, make a grab bag like this.

[26:35] Yeah.

[26:35] It's going to be different at me.

Elliott Kalan

[26:36] I was like, you know what?

[26:38] There are obviously differences between this movie and Cabin in the Woods, but there are some times where I was like, you know what?

[26:43] This is like if Cabin in the Woods didn't think it was so fucking smart and, like, wasn't trying to be – wasn't so smug about being clever.

[26:49] And I like Cabin in the Woods, but I think it's obviously a better movie than this.

[26:52] But there are times when I was – I really admired this movie.

[26:54] It was like, you know what?

[26:56] We're making a kind of dumb slasher movie.

[26:57] Let's throw as many monsters in as we can.

[26:59] Let's throw as much stuff in as we can.

[27:01] What do we – let's – why not pretend we're doing something more than we are, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[27:05] Yeah.

[27:05] So in the next time loop, they try to barricade themselves.

[27:07] Know thyself, said this movie, and it did.

[27:10] They barricade themselves in a bathroom, and they're like, man, I'm thirsty.

[27:14] So they start drinking some water out of the tap, and then that water makes them all explode.

[27:21] And this is –

Elliott Kalan

[27:22] Best scene of the movie, maybe?

[27:24] I don't know.

[27:24] Best scene of the movie.

[27:24] What did you think, Callie?

[27:25] Was this too much for you?

[27:26] All these people exploding.

[27:27] This was too much for me.

Hallie Haglund

[27:28] Honestly, I was eating lunch as I was watching the part where the Megan explodes,

[27:34] and she explodes just like in pieces.

[27:36] And when her stomach got all big, I was like, I think I'm going to throw up.

[27:40] It was too much.

[27:41] I didn't like this.

Elliott Kalan

[27:42] This movie, I'll say, was bloodier than I expected and grosser than I expected.

[27:46] The one thing it doesn't have that would make it more of a classic slasher is at no point

[27:50] does What's-Her-Name and Ave sneak off to have sex somewhere.

[27:53] Yeah, no sex.

[27:54] While the other's getting killed.

[27:55] And that's one thing it was missing to feel like, oh, this is like a real – like kind

[27:59] of just throw a bunch of blood at you videotaping.

Stuart Wellington

[28:03] You could just do what Dan did, which is pause the movie in the middle and then pop in Red

[28:07] Shoe Diaries and watch the fuck out of that and go back to the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[28:10] That's what Dan does.

[28:11] He always says – well, he isn't – Dan, that's prescribed by his doctor that every

[28:15] hour and a half he has to watch the Red Shoe Diaries.

[28:17] Part of my ADHD.

Dan McCoy

[28:18] That's his crank situation.

[28:21] My attention deficit needs to be broken up by regular sense.

[28:27] I – you know, it would be funny if you discovered this was like all – this movie was like

[28:31] sponsored by Sunny Delight or something like don't drink water.

Elliott Kalan

[28:35] You can't trust water brought to you by RFK's anti-fluoridation campaign.

[28:41] Okay, so –

[28:42] Be healthy like me.

[28:43] Have a worm in your brain and collect dead bears.

[28:45] She did have a worm in her face.

[28:47] She did have a worm in her face at one point.

Dan McCoy

[28:49] She did have a worm in her face.

Hallie Haglund

[28:52] Do you guys think it's because kids just aren't having as much sex these days?

[28:56] That she got a worm in her face?

Dan McCoy

[28:57] Yeah.

[28:58] That's the number one cause of worms in face.

[29:00] Or why there's – why the movie is fairly asexual.

[29:03] There's no hunger for it.

Stuart Wellington

[29:05] Nobody wants to –

[29:06] I feel like there's – I feel like at least based on what entertainment comes out,

[29:11] a lot of material is less sexual than it used to be.

Dan McCoy

[29:15] In this particular scenario, where's the time to do it?

Elliott Kalan

[29:19] Dan, in usual slasher movies, where's the time?

[29:22] There's nothing but time, Dan.

[29:23] There's just night after night after night.

[29:25] There's so many horror movies, Dan, where people are getting killed and two horny teens

[29:29] sneak off to have sex.

Stuart Wellington

[29:30] Think about the crazy body horror you could have done with like a wiener with a mouth on it

[29:33] or something.

Elliott Kalan

[29:34] Where they start doing it and they get stuck together.

[29:37] Now they're one body.

Dan McCoy

[29:39] Sure.

[29:39] Yeah.

[29:39] Like a certain movie that just came out this year.

[29:42] I know what you're saying.

[29:43] I forgot about that one.

[29:44] Yeah.

[29:44] In slasher movies, usually the sex happens between characters that don't know the slashers there

[29:49] yet.

[29:49] That's true.

[29:50] They don't know it's there yet.

[29:50] In the early part of the movie, once people are running away from slasher, they're not

[29:53] like, hold on, let me get my pants down.

Stuart Wellington

[29:55] If I was in a slasher movie, I'd still do it.

Elliott Kalan

[29:59] I'm built different.

[30:00] Here's how you do it.

[30:00] You set up that these characters are always horndogging each other and they realize they're

[30:05] like, hey, what would be hotter than doing it in danger?

[30:08] Like doing it when we know we, not only can we get caught at any moment, we get caught

[30:11] and murdered at any moment.

[30:12] It's like crash.

Stuart Wellington

[30:16] Instead of cars, it's slashers.

[30:19] Slash.

[30:20] Slash.

[30:20] David Kornberg, where are you?

[30:23] Make this movie.

[30:24] And at that point, you know, Slash can write the theme song because he's in a time.

[30:28] Oh, for sure.

Elliott Kalan

[30:29] Well, he's the guy who stars in it too.

[30:31] He's the one who starts the club.

[30:33] He's the Peter Strohman.

[30:34] Today is Slash?

[30:35] Okay.

[30:36] No, here's the thing.

[30:37] He shows up early on in the movie and you don't recognize him because he doesn't have

[30:40] his sunglasses and hat on.

[30:41] And then later on, he shows up and he puts on the sunglasses and the hat and you're like,

[30:44] shit, that was Slash the whole time.

Stuart Wellington

[30:48] Yeah.

[30:48] And they, for when he reveals, they do a drum solo and you're like, what?

[30:52] That's a guitar sting?

[30:54] Elliot, you're blowing.

Elliott Kalan

[30:55] And then Sting walks out and goes, no, no, I'll play guitar.

[30:57] And he pulls out a mandolin.

Stuart Wellington

[30:58] That's not your best Sting impression at all.

Elliott Kalan

[31:01] Oh, it's me, Sting.

[31:02] Hello.

[31:02] Perfect.

[31:03] Is that better?

[31:04] I, Governor, I'm Sting.

Stuart Wellington

[31:07] I'm there.

Dan McCoy

[31:08] We got to stop Slash.

[31:11] You blew my mind, Elliot, because I realized that like, if you're going to become a celebrity,

[31:15] what you got to do is do it Slash style where you have like a couple of key items.

[31:19] Yes.

[31:19] So you can maintain your privacy.

[31:21] Like, no one's going to know who you are.

[31:22] Like, if Charlie Brown goes out in the world without a zigzag shirt, no one's like, oh,

[31:26] it's Charlie Brown.

[31:26] You're right, Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[31:27] A fictional character, Charlie Brown goes out in the world.

[31:29] I just.

[31:30] Yeah, yeah.

[31:31] No, that's just a bald child.

Dan McCoy

[31:32] I'm spinning a tail here, Elliot.

[31:34] But that's why.

[31:35] This is a humor podcast.

[31:37] Bald children with no shirt on.

Elliott Kalan

[31:39] Oi, it's me, Charlie Brown.

[31:41] That's winter.

[31:42] Oi, it's me, Charlie Brown.

[31:45] Where's me dog?

[31:46] Yeah.

[31:46] Do you guys not know that all the characters in Peanuts have thick cockney accents?

[31:51] Yep.

[31:51] Except for the parents.

[31:53] No, no, no.

[31:54] That's how adults speak.

[31:56] Oh, yeah.

[31:56] That's cockney gibberish slang.

[31:58] Yeah, yeah.

[31:58] Wah, wah, wah means up the stairs.

Stuart Wellington

[32:01] Okay, so we're in time loop number four.

[32:04] They do some more exploring and they find some videotapes.

[32:07] At least one of them is like a dirty movie, which is a weird choice.

[32:11] Yeah.

[32:11] Which is probably the sex they were trying to sneak in there.

[32:14] Yeah, that was Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[32:15] That was from Dan's collection, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[32:17] And then they find some video evidence of Peter Stromer as an evil psychologist conducting experiments on people that are trapped and turning them from regular people into like flesh-eating ghoul.

[32:32] Ghoul wendigos.

[32:35] And then he comes over the radio and he gives them his takes.

Elliott Kalan

[32:39] It is.

[32:39] They have fairly – did you guys feel like the ghouls were more – the masks were more rubbery than I expected them to be in a movie?

[32:47] Okay.

[32:47] Yeah, it's fine.

[32:48] It's just like there was – I felt like there were a lot of great effects in this.

[32:51] And the one place that the effects fell down was those ghoul faces always looked like, again, people on like a haunted hayride were going to jump out and scare you.

[32:57] Yeah, but it allowed them to do like –

[32:58] Well, Clover has a latex allergy, so it's really – that's your biggest fear.

[33:03] Oh, wow.

[33:03] So that's really scary.

[33:04] Okay, that's why.

[33:05] Yeah.

[33:06] Then never mind, 100% makeup people, you did a great job.

Stuart Wellington

[33:09] But I think – I like that the makeup effects allowed them to use actual stunt performers.

[33:14] Yes.

[33:14] So they could do some like wacky body movements.

[33:16] Yeah, that's true.

[33:17] Okay.

[33:17] So they – after this video, he like gives them an ultimatum and they're like, you can let one of your members die for real and the rest of you can escape.

[33:26] And, you know, they're like, no, friends forever.

[33:28] They split up.

[33:30] Except for Abe.

[33:31] Clover runs off into the woods trying to find her sister because they're sure that her sister somehow is trapped here.

[33:38] And they find her, but at this point she is monster-fied and they all die.

[33:44] They realize they have to die because they need to figure this out.

[33:48] Okay, so at this point they start realizing like, wait, how many times have we died?

[33:53] Like it's only been like four or five, right?

[33:55] But nope, they check the ledger.

[33:57] They have died like 13 times and Megan is missing entirely.

[34:01] So to try and make up for the time loss, Abe whips out his phone and we look through his videos where we get little clips of creepypastas of like all the different ways they died.

[34:12] And there's a couple of like good little gags.

[34:13] I like the one where they're like – they find an open doorway and there's just like a mask kind of floating like at regular human height and then it stands up and it's much larger.

[34:25] And they're like, ah, I thought that was cool.

Elliott Kalan

[34:27] I like that.

[34:27] And that's the part with the worm in the face where it's like she's got a worm in her face and they're trying to pull it out and then it goes into her face and they're like, ah.

[34:34] And she's like, is it out?

[34:35] Did it fall out?

[34:36] Yeah, and it's way worse.

[34:37] It's way worse.

[34:38] Yeah.

[34:38] This is fun.

[34:38] I thought this was fun.

[34:39] Again, like you said, it is very creepypasta but it's like that's fine.

[34:42] At this point, again, the movie is like horror grab bag.

Dan McCoy

[34:44] So like make the most of it.

[34:46] It's also like the equivalent of, you know, like in Groundhog Day where you get like a fast montage of a lot of things happening over time.

Stuart Wellington

[34:55] Yeah, like when Bill Murray drinks water and explodes.

Dan McCoy

[34:59] Like if we're going to do this, we don't want to see all of the 13 nights.

[35:02] Like this is a good way of like getting in some like just general weirdness.

Elliott Kalan

[35:06] I will say this movie did the thing that I always want these movies to do, which is when they realize they're in a time loop, one of them says, it's like in that movie.

[35:14] And someone else, there's a joke out there who goes, well, there's a lot of movies like that.

[35:17] But I think I like that more than in any of these movies where people are like, what's happening?

[35:21] We've got to puzzle it out.

[35:23] Hold on.

[35:23] Let's – how do we explain this?

[35:25] And it's always like, these movies are famous.

[35:27] Just say it's like Groundhog Day.

[35:28] Like this – it's okay if in this universe Groundhog Day exists or Palms and Rings or whatever.

[35:34] But I like that they at least –

[35:35] Or Happy Death Day.

[35:36] Or Happy Death Day.

[35:36] Edge of Tomorrow.

Stuart Wellington

[35:38] Live, die, repeat.

[35:40] That's the same movie, Stuart.

Elliott Kalan

[35:42] All you need is kill?

[35:43] You drank Kool-Aid on that one, Stuart.

[35:45] Oh, no, actually Dan did.

[35:46] Live, die, repeat was the original one, right?

Dan McCoy

[35:48] Edge of Tomorrow was the original theatrical –

Elliott Kalan

[35:50] No, but I thought it was originally called Live, Die, Repeat.

[35:52] Then they changed it to Edge of Tomorrow.

[35:54] Yeah, but then they re-released the movie under the other title.

Dan McCoy

[35:58] Yes.

[35:59] No, the book was – wait, sorry.

[36:01] The book was All You Need Is Kill.

[36:03] Yeah.

[36:03] The tagline was Live, Die, Repeat.

[36:05] Oh, never mind.

[36:06] The movie was titled Edge of Tomorrow.

[36:07] But then they were like, the tagline is better than the title.

[36:10] So they re-released it or released it on video under Live, Die, Repeat.

[36:13] Okay, I misunderstood.

Elliott Kalan

[36:14] I forgot that the first one was All You Need Is Kill, which I also don't love that title.

Dan McCoy

[36:19] Yeah, people were like, why did you call it All You Need Is Kill?

[36:22] I'm like, well, because that's a bad title too.

[36:23] Yeah.

[36:24] All You Need Is Kill?

Elliott Kalan

[36:25] They could have called it Dead Again.

[36:26] No one's used that before, right?

[36:28] Uh-huh.

Hallie Haglund

[36:28] You guys have been talking about this for 13 nights.

[36:32] No.

Stuart Wellington

[36:33] Hey, check out my back.

[36:35] Do I have cool spines?

Hallie Haglund

[36:36] Uh-huh.

Dan McCoy

[36:38] Okay.

[36:38] You have the one.

[36:39] It's pretty cool.

[36:40] Thank you.

Stuart Wellington

[36:41] Tell that to my scoliosis doctor.

[36:45] So they-

[36:46] So they-

[36:46] It's always ragging on my spine.

[36:50] Straighten up spine.

[36:51] I'm trying.

[36:53] So watching the videos, they learn the fate of Megan that she managed to survive one of those nights while recording Hill kind of like inspecting their dead bodies.

[37:03] And she follows him into the tunnels.

[37:06] So they're like, well, we got to find her.

[37:08] She's in the tunnel somewhere.

Hallie Haglund

[37:09] So if she survived, why doesn't it just end and they're dead and they're monsters?

[37:15] Isn't the whole thing that someone has to make it through the night?

Elliott Kalan

[37:18] I have no idea.

[37:19] I was wondering that too.

[37:20] I think the movie at a certain point doesn't care.

[37:22] Maybe there's an explanation for it.

[37:23] Rules are weird.

[37:25] She's like, I'm going to go follow him.

[37:27] Rules are weird.

[37:28] But she doesn't take the phone with her to record anything else so that they can get this message.

[37:32] So like there's, you know, the movie's just kind of-

[37:33] At this point, the movie is like, you got it.

[37:35] Let's just get into the end game.

[37:37] Come on, enough of this.

Stuart Wellington

[37:38] Okay.

[37:38] So they wander off into the tunnels, into these old mining tunnels.

[37:43] Sorry.

[37:43] Can I say one thing?

[37:44] Yeah, of course.

[37:45] No.

[37:45] Okay.

[37:45] So this is another-

[37:46] Only one though.

[37:47] Okay.

Hallie Haglund

[37:47] Just this one.

[37:50] That was a thing.

Elliott Kalan

[37:52] All right.

[37:52] You can say two things.

[37:53] Say the other thing.

Hallie Haglund

[37:54] Okay.

[37:54] So at this moment when someone's like, oh, we got to go follow Megan.

[37:59] We got to go find her.

[38:00] This is a moment where Abe takes like the hard line and is like, this is not a good idea,

[38:05] you guys.

[38:05] And this happens a few times in the movie where like one character makes a really-

[38:10] Has like a really strong opinion about one thing.

[38:13] And it's like, how did you get to this conclusion?

[38:16] It doesn't, like, I don't know why you guys think one thing is a bad idea versus another

[38:21] thing.

[38:22] Like, there's no context for their like strong points of view.

[38:27] Did you guys do that?

Elliott Kalan

[38:28] I think you're both right.

[38:29] And also, I'll say, they're young people, you know?

[38:32] They're just picking up and putting down opinions left and right.

[38:35] You know, they're just trying on personas.

[38:37] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[38:37] Maybe they heard, maybe they got it from their mom.

Dan McCoy

[38:41] Maybe they got it from a message board.

[38:43] I did like the one point where Abe was like, like, they learned that someone has to die or

[38:49] whatever.

[38:50] And Abe is like, let's hear them out.

[38:53] Everyone else is like, no, we're not going to just like, no, but come on.

[38:56] Let's listen to this.

Hallie Haglund

[38:57] No, but that made sense because I thought it was like, but.

Elliott Kalan

[39:02] But he's consistently the selfish one.

[39:03] But you're right.

[39:04] The idea that like, no, let's stay here and not go anywhere.

[39:06] Like why he feels that way is they all take turns being the one who's like, I don't want

[39:11] to do what the rest of the group wants to do, you know?

[39:13] But I will.

[39:15] My counterpoint to that is they're not really the most richly drawn characters.

[39:20] So I think it's they're just kind of doing whatever the plot needs them to do, you know?

[39:24] OK.

Hallie Haglund

[39:25] We haven't mentioned that they're so beautiful.

[39:28] I think that did a lot for me.

[39:30] I just was mostly looking at their faces.

[39:32] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[39:33] You know how, you know how usually each group has like one really handsome member and

[39:39] the others are kind of like monsters.

Elliott Kalan

[39:42] You talking about us?

Stuart Wellington

[39:43] I don't understand what.

Elliott Kalan

[39:44] Well, I couldn't tell if it was that.

[39:47] I was watching it.

[39:48] I'm like, are these all really good looking people or is it just that they are young?

[39:52] And so to my eyes, they look good looking because they have their whole lives ahead of

[39:56] them.

[39:56] They're not broken down yet.

[39:57] I know.

Hallie Haglund

[39:58] I looked at a picture of myself five years ago.

[40:01] I was like, I could have been in this movie.

[40:02] Oh, my God.

Dan McCoy

[40:04] We're all at least, we're all various levels of attractive, especially for podcasters.

[40:11] Wow.

Elliott Kalan

[40:14] Oh, we had fun here, guys.

[40:16] But we're also now at the point where we're watching this movie, it's like, oh, these people

[40:18] are about 20 years younger than me.

[40:21] Like, I was around their age when they were born, which makes me feel old.

Hallie Haglund

[40:24] And yet they're still, they're now dressing exactly like I dressed at that age.

[40:29] Fashion has gone full circle is what I'm saying.

[40:31] They dress in a very 90s, early on style.

[40:34] You're a trendsetter.

[40:35] Oh, my gosh.

[40:35] Thank you.

Dan McCoy

[40:36] It was Hallie.

[40:37] It wasn't the 90s.

[40:38] It was specifically Hallie.

Stuart Wellington

[40:41] Yeah.

[40:41] The costume designer suggested that Hallie influenced all her choices.

[40:45] So, they follow, they go into the tunnels.

[40:50] They have some run-ins with some Wendigos.

[40:55] Clover finds her.

Elliott Kalan

[40:57] They don't take the opportunity to say, where'd he go?

[41:00] Wendigo?

[41:01] They don't do that.

[41:02] Clover finds Megan.

[41:04] Who's on to go?

[41:06] Who's on to go?

[41:08] The classic Evan Costello.

[41:09] Hallie is always on to go.

Stuart Wellington

[41:11] Yeah.

[41:15] Yeah.

[41:15] So, they, I don't know, the Roadrunner is always on to go.

[41:19] Like, do we need to list other people?

[41:20] Yeah.

[41:21] The Energizer Bunny, always on to go.

[41:23] Yeah.

[41:23] Always.

[41:25] So, Clover finds Megan tied to a chair, and there's a Wendigo trying to snatch her, but

[41:31] he's chained to the wall, but he's slowly pulling his chain free.

[41:36] Classic escape room.

[41:37] She investigates some more.

[41:38] She finds a-

Elliott Kalan

[41:39] It does, I mean, at this point, it does feel like they're just going through a haunted house.

Stuart Wellington

[41:42] Yeah.

[41:42] Does she fight, does she deal with her sister before she deals with Hill, or is it the other

[41:50] way around?

[41:50] I can't remember.

Elliott Kalan

[41:51] I think she deals with her sister first.

[41:53] Yeah.

[41:53] So, she runs into her sister.

Stuart Wellington

[41:55] Oh, yeah.

[41:56] And they wrestle around a bit, and then she, her sister's obviously totally monstrified.

Elliott Kalan

[42:00] Dan, get that look off your face.

[42:02] It's not that kind of two sisters wrestling around for a little bit.

Dan McCoy

[42:05] How dare you.

[42:05] Alex, put this video out.

[42:07] Show that my face was blank, and I was zoning out.

Elliott Kalan

[42:11] Zoning out, because you were imagining two sisters were wrestling around.

[42:14] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[42:14] This is the thin veneer of, like, theme, though, that is in this movie of, you know, overcoming,

[42:20] like, putting trauma behind you, moving on.

[42:23] Like, he's like, oh, I'm no longer letting this tragedy define me by killing you.

[42:28] Yeah.

[42:28] Killing my sister.

[42:29] Yeah.

[42:29] She used to kill her wendigo sister.

[42:31] Then she stumbles into you.

Elliott Kalan

[42:32] Dan, are we too far away from my slander of you as a perv from a couple minutes ago to

[42:35] talk about the idea of you buying a ticket to the Chekhov's Play Three Sisters and going,

[42:39] oh, this is going to be sweet.

[42:41] That's a pretty good gag.

[42:42] You'll be very surprised from what you see.

Stuart Wellington

[42:43] I'll allow it.

[42:45] Okay.

[42:46] So she finds—

Elliott Kalan

[42:47] But at least Robert Altman's three women will give me what I crave.

[42:49] What?

Dan McCoy

[42:51] It's a weird, fractured examination of identity.

[42:54] I don't understand.

Stuart Wellington

[42:56] Uh-huh.

[42:56] That's the one where John Cusack has all those people living in his head, right?

[43:00] Yeah.

[43:00] That's right.

[43:01] I know it's Pru, Taylor, Vince.

[43:03] Calm down.

[43:05] So she—Clover finds—

[43:06] Allie was raving.

[43:08] You're so mad.

[43:09] Yeah.

[43:10] I fainted.

[43:12] So she finds Hill's, like, office slash, like, evidence dungeon, and they have a conversation.

[43:19] He's drinking some coffee.

[43:20] And while he's distracted, she pushes his little coffee cup underneath a dripping pipe so water

[43:26] drips into it.

[43:27] And he explains all this crap about, like, how everything's born out of her fears and, like,

[43:31] her fear is the engine that drives everything.

[43:33] You're special, Clover.

[43:34] Uh-huh.

[43:35] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[43:36] Okay, riddle me this.

[43:37] How did he make that coffee if he's never drank any water in that house?

[43:41] He probably brings in his own bottled water.

Dan McCoy

[43:43] I'll do you one more.

[43:44] So as we've talked about, the rules have gone at this point.

[43:48] But, like, wasn't that just, like, a one-night problem?

[43:51] Like, that was the fear that water would make people explode?

[43:54] A weird fear to have.

Elliott Kalan

[43:56] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[43:56] I mean, he even says it's a weird fear to have.

[43:59] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[44:00] He's like, the water was interesting.

[44:02] That was pretty kooky.

[44:03] That's how my mom died.

Dan McCoy

[44:06] Like, if the water was a general problem, he should probably fix those pipes rather than

[44:11] just having it.

[44:11] He would think that's hard.

Elliott Kalan

[44:12] He probably does have, like, a really bad, like, water balloon fight experience.

[44:15] Regardless, you would expect him to fix the pipe that is directly over his desk that is

[44:20] leaking water on the, or move the desk, you know.

[44:22] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[44:23] Or move his papers that were still scattered on the desk getting all wet.

[44:28] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[44:29] So she tricks him into drinking coffee.

[44:30] It's important research.

[44:31] And he totally explodes.

[44:33] He's like, he gets the tummy rumbles for a second, and then he explodes.

[44:37] And she's like, I did it.

[44:38] And then she rescues.

[44:39] She's like, someone's going to die tonight.

Elliott Kalan

[44:40] It's going to be you, doctor.

Stuart Wellington

[44:42] Uh-huh.

[44:43] And then, so she rescues Megan from the Wendigo.

[44:47] And then they all are, like, kind of fighting their way through the tunnel.

[44:50] The other three confront that maniac.

[44:53] And they use the power of friendship to overcome his strength.

[44:59] And they smash his head with a sledgehammer.

[45:01] And I thought that was pretty cool.

[45:02] And then.

[45:02] That was a great.

Elliott Kalan

[45:03] That was.

[45:04] I rewound to watch that again.

[45:06] Because I was like, this is so much gorier than I expected in this movie.

[45:09] It's a real good head splat.

[45:10] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[45:11] And then, yeah, they all run from the Wendigos chasing them.

[45:15] And they manage to burst through to the surface.

[45:18] They all survived.

[45:20] They greet the dawn.

[45:23] And they escape.

[45:26] The, this section.

[45:28] Do the sun salutation.

Elliott Kalan

[45:30] This is, they sing good morning, starshine.

[45:33] Yeah.

[45:34] This is the section where it's like you're cutting back and forth between the hourglass is almost out.

[45:40] But they're still being chased and the hourglass is always out.

[45:42] I don't know if you guys felt this way.

[45:43] I was like, I got it, movie.

[45:44] Like, let's just empty that hourglass.

[45:47] I know.

[45:47] No more of this, please.

[45:48] Too slow.

[45:48] Come on, sand.

Stuart Wellington

[45:50] Because none of the characters have access to that information.

[45:54] Like, we know that the hour, like, I don't know.

[45:56] I feel like it's a necessary thing to show us.

[45:59] Like, we're not like, what are they going to do?

[46:03] Like, trick us?

Elliott Kalan

[46:06] I mean, like.

[46:06] They show them being chased and then you cut the hourglass and it drains out and you're like, oh, they're saved.

[46:10] And you cut back and everybody's dead or turned into monsters already.

[46:13] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[46:14] And it was like, oh, that was a different time.

[46:17] Theoretically.

[46:18] Like, I don't necessarily have a problem with it.

Hallie Haglund

[46:20] This hourglass is on Eastern Standard.

Dan McCoy

[46:23] Oh, no.

[46:26] Like, I wouldn't normally have a problem with it.

[46:28] In this scenario, I guess, I'm not like, oh, they're going to.

[46:34] If they're not going to make it out, it's not going to be because this hourglass goes out.

[46:38] I don't believe that.

[46:40] You know, I know we're at the end of the movie.

[46:42] That is not a fear I have.

Elliott Kalan

[46:43] It was like, I know we're at the end.

[46:44] I know they're going to make it out.

[46:45] So, like, let's just have it happen.

[46:47] They're just cutting back and forth too much for me between that hourglass and them being chased by the same monsters.

[46:52] You know?

Stuart Wellington

[46:53] Yeah.

[46:53] Uh-huh.

[46:54] So, they escape and then it cuts to a shot of an office filled with CCTVs and we see.

[47:03] CCH pounders, actually.

[47:04] Uh-huh.

[47:05] And we see.

[47:06] CC me on that TV, please.

[47:09] And we see.

Dan McCoy

[47:11] We see a different.

[47:11] You can see me.

[47:11] I don't want to get a bunch of reply-offs for the TV.

Hallie Haglund

[47:14] Yeah.

[47:14] BCC it.

[47:15] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[47:16] And we see a different property.

[47:19] It looks like a ski lodge similar to a certain video game called Until Dawn.

[47:25] Oh.

[47:26] Oh.

Dan McCoy

[47:27] Oh.

[47:27] So, that was a little tip of the hat to the fans, I guess.

[47:30] And we get a little storm air whistling.

[47:33] Yeah.

[47:34] Yeah.

[47:34] Terrifying stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[47:37] Not since Peter Lorian M has a whistle been so chilling.

[47:41] Yeah.

[47:42] Wait, I don't.

[47:43] Wait, Stuart.

[47:43] Can I ask a question?

[47:44] Dude has a weird looking face.

[47:45] What?

Hallie Haglund

[47:46] So, wait.

[47:47] In the video game, is that like a different level?

[47:49] That it's snowing instead of raining?

[47:51] Or what's the...

[47:51] No.

[47:51] What is the nod?

Stuart Wellington

[47:53] In the...

[47:53] So, in the video game, it all like that takes place in like a snowy ski lodge that's near

[48:00] this mining town that collapsed.

[48:02] Oh.

[48:02] And in the game, initially you think that there's some kind of mass killer who is stalking the

[48:09] characters, but it turns out that's just a prank being played by one of the friends.

[48:14] Nobody's actually getting killed.

[48:17] Unfortunately, they happen to be doing this prank thing above a nest of wendigos.

[48:23] So, they have to escape the wendigos and that's the whole thing.

[48:26] Ah, I see.

[48:27] And then the one who's playing the pranks, of course, that's Rami Malek because he's the

[48:32] creepiest of the actors.

[48:33] He gets like captured by wendigos.

[48:36] Oh.

[48:37] But he sings as well.

Hallie Haglund

[48:38] That would have been cool.

[48:39] They should have had someone do a prank.

Dan McCoy

[48:42] Yeah, pranks are better than movies.

[48:45] Hallie just wanted to be watching Impractical Jokers.

[48:48] Yeah.

[48:49] Yeah, yeah.

[48:50] Yeah, you put a little headset.

Stuart Wellington

[48:52] You put a little earpiece in the wendigo and you're like, okay, so you're going to try

[48:55] and not think people are a wendigo.

[48:56] Tell him you want 3,000 hamburgers.

[49:01] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[49:02] They keep running away from me.

[49:04] No, you keep eating the guy at the drive-thru.

[49:06] We're trying to prank the guy at the drive-thru.

[49:09] Why'd we hire this guy?

Dan McCoy

[49:11] Works for cheap.

[49:14] This is where we do our final judgments.

[49:16] Okay.

[49:16] Is this a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie you kind of like?

[49:22] I'm going to go bad bad, but it came sort of close to be a movie I kind of liked.

[49:28] It has this weird throwback feeling.

[49:30] It feels like an early 2000s horror movie in a way that if it had actually come out at that time,

[49:39] I feel like I would feel weird nostalgia for it.

[49:41] And I could see in 20 years people being like, you know what wasn't bad?

[49:46] Until Dawn.

[49:47] It's a little better than you remember.

Elliott Kalan

[49:49] And then they try to turn it into a franchise.

[49:51] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[49:51] Yeah.

[49:52] And if it came out then, the creepy doctor would have been played by Udo Kier.

[49:56] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[49:56] Yeah.

[49:57] And Jennifer Love Hewitt would have been the girl who's looking for her sister.

[50:00] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[50:00] Like, there's stuff in it that I enjoyed watching.

[50:03] Like, I was more into it than a lot of the stuff we watched.

[50:06] But I still, it's not quite enough for me to say that I liked it.

[50:10] What do you think, Stuart?

Stuart Wellington

[50:12] Yeah.

[50:12] I'm going to say this is a bad bad.

[50:14] You know, there's some bits in it that are cool, and there's obviously some gags.

[50:18] Like, I feel like some of the people that are involved in this clearly were excited to get to make a fun horror movie.

[50:24] But I think they're, like, just the central premise is such a mess.

[50:28] It just doesn't work.

[50:30] And it ends up not being, I think, like, just the constant stuff being thrown at you makes it not scary at all.

[50:36] And I feel like Elliot mentioned Cabin in the Woods, and it feels very much like a derivative take on that.

[50:43] But at least Cabin in the Woods had, like, a very specific idea.

Elliott Kalan

[50:48] It makes sense.

[50:49] I'm going to feel, I mean, not disagree, because it's just about feelings.

[50:53] I'm going to say this is a movie I kind of liked.

[50:54] I enjoyed watching it.

[50:55] And I think it was partly because it was just doing the most, it was not scary, but it was doing the most basic thing to me of, like, hey, here's a fun scene.

[51:06] Here's a fun scene.

[51:07] Here's a fun scene.

[51:08] And I'm like, you know what?

[51:09] This is not a great movie.

[51:10] But it feels like the closest I've seen, having seen a bunch of, like, attempted throwback movies where they try to shoot something in the style of an older movie.

[51:20] This felt like the most successful of that kind of throwback thing because it's just trying to accomplish what those movies were trying to accomplish rather than trying to ape the visual style or anything like that.

[51:29] So I was like, you know what?

[51:31] I'm having fun.

[51:32] People are exploding.

[51:33] People's heads are getting bashed in.

[51:34] It's too long.

[51:36] I wish it was, like, 10 minutes shorter.

[51:38] The characters, you know, don't matter.

[51:39] But everyone's—

[51:40] It was, like, half an hour.

[51:41] Yeah.

[51:42] It was, like, almost two hours.

[51:43] It was almost two hours.

[51:44] At one point, I was like, all right, this movie's clipping along.

[51:46] And I saw that there was 50 more minutes left in it.

[51:48] And I'm like, oh, boy, this should not be that much more.

[51:52] But I kind of liked it.

[51:52] It was a—especially compared to the stuff we've been watching recently for The Flophouse.

[51:57] Yeah, that's fair.

[51:58] I was like, you know what?

[51:59] I like that there's a bunch of good gore effects in this.

[52:01] And you could very easily watch this on a, you know, lonely Saturday afternoon and be like, that was fine.

[52:10] What do you think, Alex?

Hallie Haglund

[52:11] I feel like you guys liked this better than I did.

[52:14] I really didn't like it.

[52:15] I felt like at least if you're going to—yeah, it wasn't scary at all.

[52:21] But it wasn't even scary in the fun way that bad, scary movies can be.

[52:24] There were no, like, jump scares.

[52:26] I would have—you know, I want my heart racing from something.

Elliott Kalan

[52:29] I mean, there are jump scares, but they're not very—they don't pull them off.

[52:32] They didn't make me jump.

[52:33] I was sitting the whole time.

Dan McCoy

[52:36] Unlike Criss Cross, who makes you jump, jump.

Elliott Kalan

[52:38] It was a good thing you were paying for the whole seat because you didn't use just the edge.

[52:42] Uh-huh.

[52:43] Yeah, there's no pranks.

Hallie Haglund

[52:45] Yeah.

[52:45] No pranks.

[52:47] No go—and I don't know.

[52:49] Yeah, I found it, like, this, like, throw everything in and make it seem like a haunted house actually annoyed me.

[52:57] Like, the witch thing really annoyed me, especially because there was—

[53:00] Witch thing?

Stuart Wellington

[53:03] You walked into that one.

Hallie Haglund

[53:04] But there's, like, graffiti on the house that she lives in that's like, fuck the Glore Witch.

[53:12] And you're like, oh, there's going to be—the Glore Witch, this is going to be interesting.

[53:18] We're going to hear more than just this single scene.

[53:20] I will say the scariest thing and my favorite thing was her oxygen tank.

[53:22] I just wanted to watch the Glore Witch Project is the problem.

[53:26] Would have loved that.

[53:27] I love witches.

[53:28] Probably my favorite—my favorite scariest thing.

Stuart Wellington

[53:31] We should watch a witch movie with you sometime.

Elliott Kalan

[53:33] Well, yeah.

[53:34] Dan, can you make a witch movie so we can watch—oh, Stuart, I walked into that one.

Stuart Wellington

[53:37] I mean, there was a really good one this year in movie theaters, but—

[53:40] I know.

[53:41] Yeah.

[53:41] Which one was that?

[53:43] Witch?

[53:43] Well, we don't want to spoil it.

Elliott Kalan

[53:45] My life has made it so I have not been able to see a movie in the theaters for, I don't know, half a year.

[53:50] So, I've missed all these movies I want to see, so.

[53:52] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[53:53] I feel like I interrupted you, Hallie.

[53:54] I think you were going to say something else that I derailed.

Hallie Haglund

[53:57] Yeah.

[53:58] I mean, I just didn't—I wasn't entertained.

[54:01] I found it too long, and it made me wish that I were at a haunted house, not watching other people be at a haunted house.

[54:08] That's fair.

Dan McCoy

[54:09] That's fair.

[54:09] Are you not entertained was, yes, I'm not entertained.

[54:12] Exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[54:12] Because Russell Crowe was standing outside of Hallie's house yelling at her.

[54:16] Yeah.

[54:17] That was scary.

[54:19] He threw a phone at me.

S5

[54:29] Moving is the worst.

[54:31] Yeah, but it's exciting, too.

[54:33] Our new MaxFun HQ office in downtown L.A. is actually going to fit all of us in it.

[54:38] Oh.

[54:38] And the new studio is going to be so nice.

[54:42] Plus, we'll have space for hangouts and events.

[54:45] Yeah, you're right.

[54:46] It's going to be worth it, but boy, is it expensive.

[54:50] Maybe we can get some help.

[54:52] Hmm.

[54:53] Hey, cool listener.

[54:54] If you want to get fun stuff and help us move, go to MaximumFun.org slash Moving Day, where you can get vintage merch or buy naming rights to stuff around the office.

[55:05] If you help us move by buying something, we'll invite you over for pizza and beer at our new place.

[55:12] MaximumFun.org slash Moving Day.

Elliott Kalan

[55:17] If you want to know what's going on in the world of movies, you should be listening to Maximum Film so we can tell you all about it.

Dan McCoy

[55:23] Okay, but what if you already know what's going on in the world of movies?

[55:26] What if you're kind of obsessed with movies?

[55:28] Like, maybe you have a problem?

[55:29] Well, then you should definitely be listening to Maximum Film because we, too, have that problem, and it's important you know you're not alone.

Stuart Wellington

[55:37] We're talking indies you'll want to seek out.

Dan McCoy

[55:39] Blockbusters and blockbusting wannabes.

[55:41] Classics we can't get enough of.

[55:43] I'm comedian and writer Kevin Avery.

[55:45] I'm film critic Alonzo Duraldi.

[55:47] I'm festival programmer and producer Drea Clark.

[55:49] Together, we're Maximum Film.

Stuart Wellington

[55:51] Smart about movies and Hollywood.

[55:53] So you don't have to be.

Dan McCoy

[55:55] But if you already are, that's also great.

[55:57] And hey, we see you.

S5

[55:58] New episodes every week on MaximumFun.org.

Dan McCoy

[56:01] Let's take a brief moment to say a few words about our sponsors.

[56:07] This podcast, the one you are listening to right now, is sponsored in part by Squarespace.

[56:13] Now, if you're offering services, if you want to get paid for those services, you need a website.

[56:21] And Squarespace is a great way of doing that.

[56:23] You can get paid for those services.

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[56:52] No experience required.

[56:53] Get out of here, experience.

[56:55] That's what America's been saying for the past several decades.

[56:59] Yeah, unfortunately.

[57:01] But use it to your advantage.

[57:03] Make a website.

[57:04] Head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial.

[57:07] And when you're ready to launch, use offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Elliott Kalan

[57:15] We are also sponsored today by Lisa.

[57:18] No, not Lisa from Saved by the Bell.

[57:20] Lisa, the mattress company.

[57:21] You know, how you sleep can be as important as how long you sleep.

[57:24] A lot of bad sleep isn't as good as some really great solid sleep.

[57:28] And Lisa delivers on that how.

[57:30] Lisa's mattresses are designed to help you fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer.

[57:34] Now, I'm going to talk a little bit about my own personal life.

[57:37] I have two children who have trouble getting to sleep.

[57:41] And I got a Lisa twin mattress for one of them, thinking this will be – maybe it's his mattress.

[57:47] Maybe the mattress is making it harder for him to go to sleep.

[57:49] And unfortunately, now my kids are still having trouble going to sleep because they both argue over which of them gets that mattress.

[57:56] And I've had to switch it back and forth between their beds.

[57:58] It's been very annoying.

[57:59] I should probably get a second one, release the solution.

[58:02] But they were both really happy with how it was.

[58:04] And now it's a constant battle.

[58:06] Who gets to use that mattress?

[58:08] I should just get a second one.

[58:09] One battle after another.

[58:10] It's just what – that's what that movie was about.

[58:12] Yeah.

[58:12] And they made some changes to it.

[58:14] Yeah.

[58:14] That's what it was adapted.

[58:15] Lisa has a lineup of beautifully crafted mattresses tailored to how you sleep.

[58:19] And each mattress is designed with a specific sleep position and feel preference in mind.

[58:24] So throw away the tyranny of mass-produced one-size-fits-all mattresses.

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[58:32] Lisa mattresses are meticulously designed.

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[58:39] Plus, they back it all up with free shipping, easy returns, and a 100-night sleep trial.

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[58:53] They also donate thousands of mattresses each year to those in need, but also partnering with organizations like CleanHub to help remove harmful plastic waste from our oceans.

[59:00] Thank you, Lisa.

[59:01] Just go to lisa.com for 20% off mattresses, plus get an extra $50 off with the promo code FLOP, exclusive for our listeners.

[59:09] That's l-e-e-s-a.com, promo code FLOP, or 20% off mattresses, plus an extra $50 off.

[59:16] Support our show and let them know we sent you after checkout.

[59:20] You're going to get a good night's sleep and you're going to help us.

[59:22] That's lisa, l-e-e-s-a.com, promo code FLOP.

Stuart Wellington

[59:26] Also, if you are in the Midwest, the FLOP house is coming to you.

[59:32] We are coming to Chicago, Illinois.

[59:36] Yeah, Chicago specifically.

[59:37] We're not just going to show up at your doorstop.

[59:39] Chicago, Illinois, on November 16th.

[59:42] It's a Sunday night.

[59:44] We have one show, an early show that's already sold out.

[59:47] I'm sorry.

[59:48] However, we still have tickets.

[59:49] There's some tickets still available for our late show.

[59:52] The show's at 9.30 p.m. at Sleeping Village.

[59:56] The 9.30 show is when things are going to get a little loose.

[59:59] Well, because we are reviewing the Jim Belushi vehicle, K9, where Jim Belushi tries to get his dog laid.

[1:00:06] It's very exciting.

[1:00:07] I can't wait.

[1:00:08] It's just called breeding.

[1:00:10] And we also, we're going to, I just ordered the merch.

[1:00:14] So we're going to have some cool merch there.

[1:00:16] Our new FLOP house shirts and posters.

[1:00:19] But if you're not in Chicago, hopefully we'll see you there.

[1:00:22] But if you're not in Chicago, we have FLOP TV season three.

[1:00:27] That's right.

[1:00:27] The first Saturday of every month beamed right to your phone, computer, or, I don't know, smart TV.

[1:00:35] The FLOP house is doing some live shows.

[1:00:37] Now, if you're not familiar with the past seasons of FLOP TV, this is kind of our love letter to classic, like, local television, public, like, public access TV.

[1:00:49] And we do a trim down version of our live show.

[1:00:53] We do a new PowerPoint presentation.

[1:00:55] We do some pre-taped segments that you would never get to see anywhere else.

[1:01:00] And we do quick reviews of some classic movies.

[1:01:04] This season, we are doing Flopsterpiece Theater.

[1:01:07] So we are covering classic flops from the past six decades.

[1:01:12] And our next one is going to be in November, the first weekend of November.

[1:01:17] And that is going to be Xanadu, right?

[1:01:20] Xanadu.

[1:01:20] Yeah.

[1:01:20] Xanadu.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:21] Xanadu get tickets.

[1:01:22] That's our 80s.

[1:01:23] Xana, don't sleep on this offer.

[1:01:24] Yeah.

[1:01:25] Thank you.

[1:01:25] Our 80s installment, although it's really in vibe.

[1:01:27] It's sort of a 70s hangover.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:29] It's technically 1980, but yeah, but that's okay, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:32] Yeah.

[1:01:33] Yeah.

[1:01:33] I don't think the cops are going to drag us away for reviewing Xanadu.

[1:01:37] No.

[1:01:37] I'm really excited.

[1:01:38] It'll be for being against fascism.

[1:01:40] That's why the cops will drag us away.

[1:01:44] Okay.

[1:01:44] Well, that bummed us all out.

[1:01:47] I guess the only way we can feel better, watching some flop TV.

[1:01:50] Now, if you bought, you can buy tickets for individual shows over at theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[1:01:57] That's theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[1:02:00] And we also have a season pass available where you get six shows for the price of five.

[1:02:06] Shows are going to be archived at least through the run of the season.

[1:02:11] So, if you missed an episode, don't worry.

[1:02:13] You can catch up.

[1:02:15] Hope to see you there.

[1:02:16] These have been really fun.

[1:02:17] I know my friends here have enjoyed it.

[1:02:20] So, I'm really enjoying this.

[1:02:21] And I hope you guys tune in and jump in the chat on our next show.

[1:02:27] Let's answer some letters from listeners.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:30] This first one.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:31] Why not?

[1:02:31] Yeah.

[1:02:32] We've never done it before.

[1:02:33] Let's do it now.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:34] I like to draw new things.

[1:02:36] Check the archives on that one, Elliot.

[1:02:38] You might get some Pinocchios, but this one's from.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:40] I would love a Pinocchio.

[1:02:42] I could do all my chores.

[1:02:43] Oh, wow.

[1:02:44] Like a living puppet doll.

[1:02:45] Sure, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:47] Jeez.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:47] Take it on the road.

[1:02:48] Wait a minute.

[1:02:49] This could be my ticket to showbiz stardom.

[1:02:51] I take it on the road.

[1:02:52] I put on a show where it's kind of.

[1:02:53] Oh, he's a real stromboli.

[1:02:54] Lady puppets from different countries are coming on to him.

[1:02:57] Yeah, we could do this.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:59] I always thought you were Geppetto, but the BuzzFeed quiz says you're stromboli.

[1:03:03] Stromboli, yep.

[1:03:05] This is from Jackie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:07] That little goldfish.

[1:03:08] What?

Dan McCoy

[1:03:09] This is from Jackie.

[1:03:11] Last name withheld.

[1:03:11] I'm the whale?

[1:03:13] Who writes?

[1:03:14] Monstro.

[1:03:16] What's your favorite phone call in cinema?

[1:03:18] Phone scenes tend to be short and sweet that only move the plot along, but pack a punch.

[1:03:25] We got one in Ghostbusters, and I'm going to bed in the post.

[1:03:30] The phones are working in Jurassic Park.

[1:03:32] Which call do you love?

[1:03:34] Thanks, Jackie.

[1:03:35] Last name withheld.

[1:03:36] This seems upon rereading to be specifically about short phone calls, but-

[1:03:41] Not the one I'm going to say.

[1:03:42] Can I jump in here?

[1:03:43] I don't think I can stick to that.

[1:03:45] We may have the same one, Elliot.

[1:03:47] I was thinking Dr. Strangelove.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:48] That's why I wanted to go first, Dan.

[1:03:50] That's why I said, can I jump in?

[1:03:51] Because I was going to say it.

[1:03:52] You can jump in.

[1:03:53] You can talk about it.

[1:03:53] I figured we might have the same one.

[1:03:54] I figured we might have the same one, which is in Dr. Strangelove when the president, Merkin Muffley, is on the phone with Dmitry, the premier of Russia, or the Soviet commissar or whatever.

[1:04:03] And it is clear that Dmitry is at maybe a bordello, maybe a party or something like that.

[1:04:08] But just this one-sided conversation where he's trying to explain to somebody that a nuclear bomb is about to hit his country.

[1:04:17] And the stuff about, can you turn the music down, Dmitry?

[1:04:19] Can you turn it?

[1:04:19] That's better, Dmitry.

[1:04:21] And clearly, Dmitry is upset.

[1:04:22] He's like, I'm just as upset as you are.

[1:04:26] It's just a touch of funny performance to only hear.

[1:04:29] And Peter Sellers does such a great job with it that you feel like you're hearing the other end of the phone, even though you're not.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:33] Well, he's really trying to soften an impossible-to-soften blow.

[1:04:37] He's like, now one of our fighters, he went and did a silly thing, Dmitry.

[1:04:41] He did.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:43] The bomb, Dmitry.

[1:04:45] The hydrogen bomb.

[1:04:46] Yeah, it's a very funny scene.

[1:04:48] What about you guys?

[1:04:49] What kind of phone calls do you like in movies?

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:50] I mean, this is a short one, but I just love in the movie Night of the Creeps when Tom Atkins answers the phone by saying, thrill me.

[1:05:01] I think that's such a great...

[1:05:05] Yeah.

[1:05:05] What about you, Hallie?

[1:05:06] And obviously, when somebody takes Liam Neeson's kid and he explains his special set of skills.

Hallie Haglund

[1:05:12] Well, I was going to say the phone calls in When Harry Met Sally.

[1:05:16] I feel like they don't do the split screen.

[1:05:20] Like, each person is doing a separate thing, but they're just narrating what they're doing on the phone while they're falling in love.

[1:05:27] That was what I was going to say.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:30] There's another good split screen one in Down With Love where it looks very sexual as they're both on the phone on different sides because of what they're...

[1:05:38] The blocking of the phone call.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:42] I bet you it's a parody of the one in, I think, Pillow Talk with Rae Heshan and Darstey.

[1:05:46] I bet it's a callback to that.

Hallie Haglund

[1:05:47] Kids don't want that anymore.

[1:05:49] No.

[1:05:49] No sex.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:50] They want sexless phone calls.

Hallie Haglund

[1:05:51] They just text and it's not about sex.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:54] Have you seen a phone these days?

[1:05:56] There's no place to insert your sexual organs.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:58] I mean, that's a similar thing.

[1:06:01] Like, do you guys have favorite examples of texting in a movie?

[1:06:05] I have one, but I don't know.

[1:06:06] Oh, what is it?

[1:06:07] Yeah, you just tell us yours.

[1:06:08] Mine is in Decision to Leave, the way that he...

[1:06:13] When he's texting with the femme fatale character, the detective, and he's, like, so, like, stressed about it and the way, like, he's watching the fucking three bubbles and then the three bubbles are kind of, like, superimposed over his face as he's, like, waiting for her response.

[1:06:29] It's so great.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:31] Let's move on to this next letter, which is from Kelly, last name withheld.

[1:06:36] Kelly Kapowski from Saved by the Bell.

[1:06:38] Oh, wow.

[1:06:39] Hey, peaches.

[1:06:41] Wow, that's a fictional character, guys.

[1:06:43] Yeah, wow.

[1:06:45] It's not...

[1:06:46] Okay, that's what you were impressed by.

[1:06:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:47] Did somebody stick her in an Indian in the cupboard cupboard and she popped out?

Dan McCoy

[1:06:53] Yeah, one of the lockers at Bayside is one of those cupboards, actually.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:59] Yeah, Screech invented it.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:02] Hey, peaches.

[1:07:03] I recently went back to grad school at NYU.

[1:07:05] Congratulations.

[1:07:07] Well, thank you, on their behalf.

[1:07:10] And my first course was about strategic...

[1:07:11] You've been designated to thank for...

[1:07:13] Okay.

[1:07:14] Never mind.

[1:07:14] My first course was about strategic leadership.

[1:07:18] There was a lot of media to consume for the course, including an episode of the podcast,

[1:07:22] Work Life, focusing on The Daily Show.

[1:07:25] I listened closely and I got exactly what I was hoping for.

[1:07:28] A two-second clip of Dan pitching a joke and promptly getting shut down by Jubin Parang.

[1:07:33] Dan did not show up at any other point in the podcast.

[1:07:37] I learned a lot from that podcast.

[1:07:39] But the most important lesson is, of course, that Dan McCoy is a leadership expert.

[1:07:44] My question is, what's the most unexpected university course in which each of you could plausibly claim expertise?

[1:07:50] And what's the course where you'd be most surprised if you were cited as an expert?

[1:07:54] Kelly, last name withheld.

[1:07:57] My problem is that I feel like doing this podcast has revealed most of my hidden talents.

[1:08:05] We've found ways to work them into...

[1:08:06] Masturbating.

[1:08:07] Yeah.

[1:08:08] The top one, of course.

[1:08:09] But like...

[1:08:10] You're really good at it, Dan.

[1:08:13] I've been practicing cooking.

[1:08:14] You can do it so fast.

[1:08:15] You know, stuff like that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:17] I think people don't realize that Dan is a globally ranked masturbator.

[1:08:24] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:27] So, yeah, drawing...

[1:08:28] That was a real flashback to...

Hallie Haglund

[1:08:30] Dan masturbates like stenographers type.

[1:08:33] Oh, wow.

[1:08:35] He's trying in full sentences.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:37] Kind of staring off into space.

[1:08:39] I guess we read back every now and then.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:43] It's a real gross.

[1:08:43] First I get to remember how I was at the Daily Show.

[1:08:48] Yeah, they're really taking you back there, huh?

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:51] So, Dan, what is that?

[1:08:51] So, drawing?

Dan McCoy

[1:08:53] Yeah, I guess.

[1:08:54] Yeah, some sort of art thing.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:59] Yeah, I mean, obviously, things like miniature painting.

[1:09:02] But I also feel like I could probably teach a class on staff development or management training.

[1:09:13] That's good.

[1:09:14] Strategic leadership?

[1:09:16] Strategic leadership, yeah.

[1:09:18] Why not?

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:19] I think I could, at this point, maybe I might show up as a source in an urban studies class after all the work I did with the power broker.

[1:09:27] Which would be ironic because I have no formal training in it or really credentials or academic background.

[1:09:33] Yeah, that's pretty ironic.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:34] Somebody call Alanis.

[1:09:36] Hey, got him.

[1:09:38] Got him.

[1:09:39] We're roasting Elliot now.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:40] Now I'm being roasted.

[1:09:41] I like this better.

[1:09:42] Dan's in on this one.

[1:09:42] When you said Alanis, at first I thought you said Atlantis.

[1:09:45] And I was like, Atlantis Marmoset?

[1:09:47] It's ironic she lives underwater.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:50] Atlantis Marmoset?

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:51] Yeah, that's what that would be.

[1:09:52] She was in Zootopia.

[1:09:55] She could be in Zootopia, too.

[1:09:57] So, and I think I'd be most surprised to end up as a source or end up involved in a course for any science.

[1:10:06] Anything, any physical or natural science or anything like that.

[1:10:11] So maybe paleontology.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:12] Look to me for any sort of sports instruction or knowledge.

[1:10:16] That would be very surprising.

[1:10:17] Oh, that, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:17] Actually, that would be it.

[1:10:18] If my brother was teaching a class about sports in grad school and he called me in for a class to be an expert, it would turn out the whole thing would just be him making fun of me, roasting me for not knowing anything about it.

[1:10:29] Like you do to Dan.

[1:10:30] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:31] And what would you-

[1:10:32] It's a cycle of violence, Hallie.

[1:10:34] Yeah.

[1:10:34] What about you, Hallie?

[1:10:35] Hurt people, hurt people.

Hallie Haglund

[1:10:37] Oh, God.

[1:10:38] I don't know.

[1:10:39] I'd probably be at like a history course where they talk about me and they're like, oh, she died penniless.

[1:10:48] Here's a case study.

[1:10:50] And yet, look.

[1:10:52] Why are we studying her?

[1:10:53] Yeah.

[1:10:54] No, but then I become really famous a century after.

[1:10:57] You need to-

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:57] She is the trendsetter for the 90s fashion revival.

[1:11:01] Hallie Haglund.

[1:11:02] Yeah.

[1:11:03] Hallis Haglund.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:05] Now, what were you wearing in the 90s, Hallie?

[1:11:07] Me?

[1:11:08] Yeah.

[1:11:08] Dan?

[1:11:09] Oh, my God.

[1:11:10] I'm not.

[1:11:10] Come on.

Hallie Haglund

[1:11:15] Baby doll dresses.

[1:11:17] Okay.

[1:11:17] Clad.

[1:11:18] Clad pants that were flared.

[1:11:21] Skater dresses.

[1:11:24] Striped shirts.

[1:11:27] Terry cloth.

[1:11:29] Yeah.

[1:11:30] Clad.

[1:11:31] Oh, I already said that.

[1:11:33] You know.

[1:11:33] Okay.

[1:11:33] Your basics.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:34] And like Doc Martens or-

Hallie Haglund

[1:11:36] Oh, yeah.

[1:11:36] You're bringing me back.

[1:11:37] You're painting a picture.

[1:11:38] I had these knee-high baby blue Doc Martens.

[1:11:42] Cool.

[1:11:43] Yeah.

[1:11:44] I had a lot of creep-

[1:11:44] I had a pair of creepers.

[1:11:46] Do you guys remember creepers?

[1:11:47] I don't know what creepers are.

[1:11:48] They have heel-

[1:11:49] They're just like flat.

[1:11:50] I've been called a creeper.

[1:11:51] Yeah.

[1:11:51] Well, they were silver with black stars on them.

[1:11:54] I'm sure some of your audience remember creepers.

[1:11:57] I had these red platform pants.

[1:11:59] I had a great shoe collection.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:01] Were they used for sneaking up on people?

Hallie Haglund

[1:12:03] Yeah.

[1:12:03] Well, I think that's why they're supposed to be very quiet.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:07] I would always wear like big baggy-

[1:12:09] I'd always wear like big baggy straight leg jeans

[1:12:11] where the back of the jean of like, you know,

[1:12:16] the cuff is all like frayed as fuck

[1:12:18] because they're dragging them along the ground.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:20] Yeah.

[1:12:21] Like a Sam Keith drawing.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:22] Just kind of horrible frayed stuff.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:25] Yeah.

[1:12:25] I wore whatever my parents bought me,

[1:12:29] which was why I was not stylish.

[1:12:31] Sailor suits.

[1:12:32] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:33] Like a little beanie with a propeller on it.

[1:12:36] Mickey Mouse shorts with big yellow buttons in the front.

[1:12:41] Yeah.

[1:12:42] Why are there two big buttons on them?

[1:12:44] Yeah.

[1:12:45] I don't even see pockets.

[1:12:46] Like a bib all the time so you don't make a mess.

Hallie Haglund

[1:12:51] You're like, dad, I've grown out of short pants.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:55] We'll make your socks taller.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:58] That's kind of like pants.

[1:13:00] Okay.

[1:13:01] Let's do some recommendations of movies

[1:13:03] that may be a better use of your time than Until Dawn

[1:13:06] There's a movie that's coming out,

[1:13:10] I believe the day that we're recording this,

[1:13:12] I saw just slightly early because of the guild screening.

[1:13:18] You're still cool.

[1:13:19] You got to see it slightly early.

[1:13:20] No.

[1:13:21] It's going to be so long that it's been out by the time of this.

[1:13:24] But I saw if I had legs,

[1:13:26] I'd kick you with the writer, director,

[1:13:30] and supporting actor.

[1:13:32] Mary Bronstein was there and did a good Q&A afterward.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:37] So you're recommending we see it with the Q&A?

Dan McCoy

[1:13:39] No, I'm just saying that it was nice to,

[1:13:42] you know,

[1:13:43] like the guild puts on these things

[1:13:44] and they're supposed to at least be,

[1:13:46] I think,

[1:13:47] in addition to an awards push,

[1:13:50] sort of educational,

[1:13:51] like writers talking to writers.

[1:13:53] So you got to go to that

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:54] because you show up at the theater

[1:13:56] and you're like,

[1:13:56] don't you know who I am?

[1:13:57] I'm Dan McCoy of the Flophouse podcast.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:00] No, but I will make or break this movie.

[1:14:03] It was funny.

[1:14:03] I went to the,

[1:14:04] it was at the Lincoln Square Theater

[1:14:06] and there were like two other tables

[1:14:08] of special screenings going on there.

[1:14:10] I'm like,

[1:14:10] which one do I go to?

[1:14:12] There was also a roof man screening

[1:14:15] at the same place.

[1:14:16] And it was the premiere of the new season of Elsbeth,

[1:14:20] which was by far the most glamorous.

[1:14:22] There were all these like people there,

[1:14:24] dressed up actors to go to Elsbeth.

[1:14:29] But anyway,

[1:14:30] if I had legs,

[1:14:31] I'd kick you.

[1:14:32] I think that probably because I'm an anxious person myself,

[1:14:36] is why I love movies that feel like anxiety,

[1:14:40] stress stream.

[1:14:41] Like for me,

[1:14:42] it's a weird therapy almost

[1:14:45] to go through it from a distance.

[1:14:47] And this sort of goes on the list with,

[1:14:50] you know,

[1:14:50] something like Uncut Gems or After Hours

[1:14:53] or Bo Was Afraid,

[1:14:55] like that kind of like.

[1:14:56] Air Bud.

[1:14:56] Just, yeah.

[1:14:58] Relentless stress.

[1:14:59] Relentless.

[1:15:01] And this one's more about the stress of her being.

[1:15:05] A joker.

[1:15:06] A mother who's,

[1:15:07] her partner's out of town.

[1:15:09] She has a.

[1:15:09] And you really identify with being a mother.

[1:15:12] She has a child that.

[1:15:13] He's a bad mother.

[1:15:15] Has some sort of mysterious ailment.

[1:15:18] And it's just,

[1:15:18] you know,

[1:15:19] things,

[1:15:20] stress on stress on stress,

[1:15:22] but also funny and surreal.

[1:15:24] And,

[1:15:24] you know,

[1:15:25] Rose Byrne is amazing in it,

[1:15:28] but also.

[1:15:28] She's been on a real tear lately.

[1:15:30] She's great.

[1:15:31] But,

[1:15:31] uh,

[1:15:32] ASAP Rocky and Conan O'Brien are in supporting roles

[1:15:34] and are both really good.

[1:15:35] Um,

[1:15:36] it's a fun movie.

[1:15:37] If you like stress.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:39] Yeah.

[1:15:39] Stuart.

[1:15:40] Uh,

[1:15:40] guys,

[1:15:41] can you check the rule book?

[1:15:41] Can I make two recommendations today?

[1:15:43] I'll allow it.

[1:15:45] Okay.

[1:15:46] Watch yourself,

[1:15:46] counselor.

[1:15:48] Uh,

[1:15:49] okay.

[1:15:49] So,

[1:15:50] uh,

[1:15:50] my recommendations are both movies,

[1:15:52] uh,

[1:15:53] from friends of the flop house.

[1:15:55] So I got to recommend them both.

[1:15:57] Uh,

[1:15:57] the first is of course the new Steve Kostansky movie,

[1:16:01] Deathstalker,

[1:16:02] which is a reboot,

[1:16:03] re-imagining sequel of the Roger Corman,

[1:16:08] cheapo sword and sorcery movie,

[1:16:10] Deathstalker.

[1:16:11] Back in the days when your video store aisle was filled with Boris

[1:16:15] Vallejo painted,

[1:16:16] uh,

[1:16:17] fantasy,

[1:16:18] uh,

[1:16:19] movies that look nothing like the paintings on the,

[1:16:21] on the cover.

[1:16:23] And this is Steve has managed to make this like super fun movie filled

[1:16:29] with lots of gags and like literally like wall to wall with cool

[1:16:34] creature effects.

[1:16:35] It's like,

[1:16:36] it's such a,

[1:16:37] it's such a dream to get to see it.

[1:16:39] And it's,

[1:16:39] it feels both nostalgic,

[1:16:40] but it doesn't feel like it's despite the fact that it's clearly related to

[1:16:44] these,

[1:16:44] like,

[1:16:45] uh,

[1:16:45] these old sword and sorcery movies.

[1:16:47] It's not like,

[1:16:48] it doesn't feel like it's aping anything.

[1:16:50] Um,

[1:16:51] and it's one of those things where you're just like watching it.

[1:16:53] Like,

[1:16:53] yeah,

[1:16:54] and you can't believe that people that he gets to make it and that like

[1:16:57] movies like that are being made.

[1:16:59] Um,

[1:17:00] yeah,

[1:17:01] it's,

[1:17:01] it's really fun.

[1:17:02] And I,

[1:17:03] uh,

[1:17:03] if you get a chance to see it,

[1:17:04] it just came out this weekend and I'm sure it's doing a limited run.

[1:17:07] It'll be streaming at some point.

[1:17:09] Um,

[1:17:10] and then if,

[1:17:11] uh,

[1:17:11] another thing to recommend is friend of the flop house,

[1:17:14] Ashley Atkinson,

[1:17:15] who was a guest on the show recently is in the lost bus,

[1:17:19] which is,

[1:17:19] uh,

[1:17:20] on Apple TV plus right now.

[1:17:22] It's the new Paul Greengrass movie about a horrible,

[1:17:25] uh,

[1:17:26] wildfire.

[1:17:28] And Matthew McConaughey plays the lead where he plays a bus driver who is

[1:17:32] tasked with,

[1:17:32] uh,

[1:17:33] saving a busload of kids and getting them out of the fire zone.

[1:17:37] Uh,

[1:17:37] America Ferrara plays the teacher that is helping him.

[1:17:40] And Ashley plays the bus dispatcher and,

[1:17:44] uh,

[1:17:44] and Yul Vasquez plays the fire chief.

[1:17:47] And the,

[1:17:48] I'm,

[1:17:49] I'm not normally a big fan of disaster movies,

[1:17:52] but Greengrass seems to really understand that the only way to make this

[1:17:56] story work is to really focus on the individual drama and individual,

[1:18:02] um,

[1:18:02] to see it through their eyes.

[1:18:04] And we get four really strong performances from the leads and it really

[1:18:08] makes the whole thing,

[1:18:09] the stakes really work and the whole thing's great.

[1:18:12] Uh,

[1:18:12] it was very stressful to watch my friend,

[1:18:14] uh,

[1:18:14] play a character who was upset.

[1:18:17] Uh,

[1:18:17] but yeah,

[1:18:18] uh,

[1:18:18] the lost bus,

[1:18:19] it's good.

[1:18:19] Uh,

[1:18:20] check it out.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:21] I'm going to recommend a different movie that's on Apple plus TV right now.

[1:18:26] And that's,

[1:18:27] uh,

[1:18:27] yeah,

[1:18:27] I know Dan is shocked.

[1:18:28] He has a shock look on his face.

[1:18:29] That is,

[1:18:30] uh,

[1:18:30] Spike Lee's new movie,

[1:18:31] highest to lowest with Denzel Washington,

[1:18:33] which is a remake of Kurosawa was high and low.

[1:18:36] Uh,

[1:18:37] and it's,

[1:18:38] I thought it was a really solid,

[1:18:39] um,

[1:18:40] really fun kind of like,

[1:18:41] uh,

[1:18:42] suspense movie.

[1:18:43] It's a little slow in the beginning.

[1:18:45] It does not have the crackling oppressiveness of a Kurosawa was original high and low,

[1:18:50] which is a truly just amazing movie.

[1:18:52] Uh,

[1:18:52] but I really enjoyed a lot.

[1:18:54] And Spike Lee,

[1:18:55] when he's putting together a sequence,

[1:18:57] he can be one of the greatest filmmakers that ever lived.

[1:19:00] And he has a couple of those sequences in this one.

[1:19:02] Uh,

[1:19:03] especially as the movie gets going,

[1:19:04] I felt like it picked up kind of like emotional energy,

[1:19:08] tension,

[1:19:09] you know,

[1:19:09] dramatic energy.

[1:19:10] And so I would say,

[1:19:12] uh,

[1:19:12] sit with it in the beginning where it kind of takes a little time to get going.

[1:19:15] But once it gets going,

[1:19:16] I was really enjoying it a lot.

[1:19:18] And Denzel Washington as always is,

[1:19:19] you know,

[1:19:20] possibly the greatest actor there's ever been.

[1:19:22] And so seeing the way he's so kind of effortlessly owns the screen that he's on and,

[1:19:27] uh,

[1:19:28] how effortlessly he can kind of go back and forth with the other actors is really fantastic.

[1:19:34] The other performers are in there are great too,

[1:19:35] but you know,

[1:19:36] it's hard,

[1:19:36] it's hard to take your eyes off him when he's on screen.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:38] Yeah.

[1:19:39] There's,

[1:19:39] there's not a lot of actors that I would,

[1:19:41] uh,

[1:19:41] put up against Toshiro Mifune,

[1:19:44] but,

[1:19:44] uh,

[1:19:44] Denzel Washington is one of them.

[1:19:46] Yes.

Hallie Haglund

[1:19:47] That's what I was going to say.

[1:19:50] Just kidding.

[1:19:52] Uh,

[1:19:53] my turn?

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:54] Yes.

[1:19:54] Yeah.

[1:19:55] You're going to recommend Until Dawn,

Hallie Haglund

[1:19:56] right?

[1:19:56] No,

[1:19:57] I was going to recommend Weapons.

[1:19:59] Oh.

[1:19:59] Because the whole time I was watching Until Dawn,

[1:20:02] I was like,

[1:20:03] man,

[1:20:03] I wish this was Weapons.

[1:20:04] I wish I was watching that again,

[1:20:06] because that was really good.

[1:20:07] I went and saw it alone on my birthday,

[1:20:10] a little matinee.

[1:20:12] Whoa.

[1:20:13] And yeah,

[1:20:14] it was,

[1:20:15] it was,

[1:20:15] Don't talk about Happens,

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:16] they still haven't gotten to see it yet.

[1:20:17] I won't tell you what happens.

[1:20:20] Wait,

[1:20:20] just tell me this,

[1:20:20] is there a weapon in it?

[1:20:22] Well,

[1:20:23] don't tell me.

[1:20:25] Okay.

[1:20:26] Are there plural weapons in it?

[1:20:27] Don't tell me.

Hallie Haglund

[1:20:29] All right.

[1:20:30] Well,

[1:20:30] I thought,

[1:20:31] I thought it was great.

[1:20:32] Josh Brolin's great.

[1:20:33] Julian Gardner's great.

[1:20:35] Just,

[1:20:35] uh,

[1:20:36] all around.

[1:20:37] I've,

[1:20:39] it seemed like it was

[1:20:41] an allegory that they didn't quite commit to.

[1:20:46] Um,

[1:20:46] and I got it.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:47] This is my one problem with it.

[1:20:48] Yeah.

[1:20:48] That I was like,

[1:20:49] is this,

[1:20:50] does this mean a thing?

[1:20:52] And then at the end,

[1:20:52] I'm like,

[1:20:52] I'm not sure it did.

[1:20:54] Well,

[1:20:54] I've gotten,

[1:20:55] I've gotten,

[1:20:56] I've come to terms with it.

Hallie Haglund

[1:20:57] Yeah.

[1:20:57] I felt the same way.

[1:20:58] Cause I was like,

[1:20:59] oh,

[1:20:59] I think I would have liked it better if they had gone all the way with that.

[1:21:03] But then they leaned so hard into the twist that sort of upended the allegory.

[1:21:10] And it seems like what's next for this project is leaning even further into,

[1:21:19] um,

[1:21:20] the rejection of the allegory that,

[1:21:22] that kind of disappointed me.

[1:21:23] Cause I think I would have liked it more,

[1:21:25] but also it was really,

[1:21:26] it was,

[1:21:28] it was,

[1:21:29] I left and I was very,

[1:21:31] uh,

[1:21:31] unnerved and I had seen it alone.

[1:21:33] So I had no one to talk to about it.

[1:21:36] It was,

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:36] it was,

[1:21:37] it was,

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:37] you could have asked me to come with you.

Hallie Haglund

[1:21:38] Well,

[1:21:39] you,

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:40] I wouldn't have been able to.

[1:21:41] Yeah,

[1:21:41] exactly.

Hallie Haglund

[1:21:41] So,

[1:21:42] you know,

[1:21:43] face enough rejection.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:44] I looked over to Reddit and started posting.

[1:21:47] Um,

[1:21:48] went to see weapons by myself.

[1:21:49] Am I the asshole?

[1:21:50] Uh,

Hallie Haglund

[1:21:52] yeah,

[1:21:53] recommend.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:54] I gotta see it.

[1:21:55] Is that streaming yet or no?

[1:21:56] Uh,

[1:21:57] you might be able to buy it or whatever.

[1:22:00] Do you think?

[1:22:00] Amy,

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:00] Amy Madigan is incredible.

[1:22:03] I,

[1:22:03] yeah.

[1:22:04] I know.

[1:22:04] Does she get Madigan?

[1:22:06] Oh boy,

[1:22:07] does she?

[1:22:08] No spoilies.

Hallie Haglund

[1:22:09] Elliot,

[1:22:09] I also think it's,

[1:22:10] it hits,

[1:22:12] uh,

[1:22:13] it hits differently.

[1:22:14] If you,

[1:22:15] uh,

[1:22:16] have children.

[1:22:17] That was my,

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:17] that was my wonder.

[1:22:18] I know children are involved in it.

[1:22:19] So I wondered if that was the case.

[1:22:20] Yeah,

Hallie Haglund

[1:22:21] it's,

[1:22:22] I mean,

[1:22:23] also it seems like they're not,

[1:22:24] whoever wrote it,

[1:22:25] maybe doesn't have children because some of the like age,

[1:22:28] uh,

[1:22:29] assumptions about like how old the kids should be and what they should be doing were like

[1:22:34] wrong.

[1:22:35] But,

Dan McCoy

[1:22:35] all I know is that,

[1:22:38] that children shouldn't play with dead things.

[1:22:40] That's,

[1:22:40] uh,

[1:22:41] that's a good,

[1:22:42] that's good advice.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:43] Yeah.

[1:22:43] It reminds me,

[1:22:44] there's that scene in a boyhood and maybe this was based off of his real life.

[1:22:48] I don't know where they're hanging out overnight in an,

[1:22:49] in a unfinished house and they're throwing circular saw blades into a wall.

[1:22:53] And I was like,

[1:22:54] the main character is like 10 years old and he's doing this.

[1:22:57] This seems bonkers,

[1:22:58] but maybe that's how they do it in Texas.

[1:22:59] I don't know.

[1:23:00] I mean,

Dan McCoy

[1:23:00] that was back in the day.

[1:23:02] I was doing some crazy stuff.

[1:23:03] Yeah,

[1:23:04] you're not supposed to.

[1:23:05] Back in the day,

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:06] it's set in like the 1990s,

[1:23:07] that part.

[1:23:08] Yeah.

[1:23:08] That's when we were.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:10] Yeah.

[1:23:10] Unsupervised kids.

[1:23:11] Yeah.

[1:23:12] You didn't have a dangerous stuff you did.

[1:23:14] You didn't do incredible stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:15] You can go out in the middle of the night and spend the night,

[1:23:17] you know,

[1:23:17] at an abandoned house.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:18] Well,

[1:23:18] they don't know what they're doing.

[1:23:20] If you're like staying over with someone,

[1:23:22] they don't know what you're up to.

[1:23:22] That's true,

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:22] I guess.

[1:23:23] That's a good point.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:24] I,

[1:23:24] I just know that.

[1:23:25] I have a distinct memory of us like starting fires beneath the porch of my friend's house.

[1:23:33] Like,

Dan McCoy

[1:23:33] that I would buy.

Hallie Haglund

[1:23:34] Literally burned down my neighbor's two huge trees and lit her roof on fire.

[1:23:39] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:40] Yeah.

[1:23:40] That I would buy.

[1:23:41] Thankfully,

[1:23:41] we did not burn down the house,

[1:23:43] but we could have,

[1:23:44] and we shouldn't have been doing that.

[1:23:46] And that's why maybe it wasn't a good idea to be so unsupervised,

[1:23:49] but who knows?

[1:23:50] Now,

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:50] I'm imagining a world where,

[1:23:51] Din,

[1:23:51] you burned down someone's house as a kid,

[1:23:53] and you blame it on the talking head song,

[1:23:54] burning down the house.

[1:23:55] And now David Byrne has to testify at trial that there's no subliminal messages in his music

[1:24:00] to get kids to burn down houses.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:02] Yeah.

[1:24:03] Multiverse,

[1:24:04] you know?

[1:24:04] Anyway,

[1:24:05] thank you,

[1:24:06] Hallie,

[1:24:06] for being here for Shocktober.

[1:24:08] And you know what?

[1:24:09] We haven't announced on the show our plans for November.

[1:24:14] Yeah,

[1:24:14] we got a new theme month.

[1:24:16] Well,

[1:24:17] we're trying a new theme month this year.

[1:24:19] I don't know if it'll stick or not,

[1:24:21] but we're definitely doing it.

[1:24:22] Depends on whether you,

[1:24:22] the audience,

[1:24:23] cool.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:23] Keeping your foot on the beach over here.

[1:24:25] Uh,

[1:24:25] so,

[1:24:26] I'm just gonna grip it and rip it,

[1:24:29] guys.

[1:24:29] We have a new theme month,

[1:24:31] uh,

[1:24:31] starting now and going on forever.

[1:24:33] It is called Movember,

[1:24:35] because you're getting Moe Flophouse episodes.

[1:24:38] Instead of doing two regular episodes and two minis,

[1:24:40] we're giving you four regular episodes.

[1:24:42] And what's that?

[1:24:43] They're not regular.

[1:24:44] No,

[1:24:45] in fact,

[1:24:45] we have a cavalcade of amazing guests coming to join us.

[1:24:49] I can't wait,

[1:24:50] uh,

[1:24:51] to go over all this and hang out with all these cool dudes with attitude.

[1:24:55] Uh,

[1:24:55] it's going to be a lot of fun.

[1:24:56] Ninja Turtles?

[1:24:58] In a way.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:59] It's four episodes,

[1:24:59] so maybe.

[1:25:00] I will say this,

[1:25:01] our next episode will be a mini,

[1:25:03] and it will be coming out November 1st.

[1:25:05] So,

[1:25:05] Movember starts after that.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:07] Oh,

[1:25:08] okay.

[1:25:09] So,

[1:25:09] it's sort of like shades into,

[1:25:11] uh,

[1:25:11] so yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:11] we transitioned from Shocktober into Movember.

[1:25:14] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:14] Okay.

[1:25:15] Uh,

[1:25:15] well,

[1:25:16] anyway,

[1:25:16] uh,

[1:25:17] you know,

[1:25:17] classic Flophouse blunder,

[1:25:19] but,

[1:25:20] uh,

[1:25:20] we will have four.

[1:25:21] Yeah,

[1:25:21] right in congressmen.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:23] We call them funders,

[1:25:24] because they're fun blunders.

[1:25:25] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:26] But write them about other stuff.

[1:25:27] Write them about all the terrible things that are happening in the world.

[1:25:31] Yeah.

[1:25:31] Tell them to stop.

[1:25:32] Please stop.

[1:25:34] Um,

[1:25:34] so anyway,

[1:25:35] Hallie,

[1:25:35] thank you for being here.

[1:25:37] Uh,

[1:25:37] anything you want to say here at the end,

[1:25:39] or you just want to nod with that big grin on your face?

Hallie Haglund

[1:25:42] Thanks for having me.

[1:25:43] Right back at you.

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:45] You're welcome.

[1:25:46] Uh,

[1:25:46] Hallie,

[1:25:46] do you want to plug your,

[1:25:47] what,

[1:25:47] Substack?

[1:25:48] Yeah,

[1:25:48] sure.

Hallie Haglund

[1:25:49] Yeah,

[1:25:51] Uh,

[1:25:52] it's called,

[1:25:53] your local library.

[1:25:54] It's called,

[1:25:54] that hurts my feelings,

[1:25:57] on Substack.

[1:26:00] It's a great little read.

[1:26:04] I think it is.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:05] You're the Slow Talkers of America sketch.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:07] I'll say genuinely that,

[1:26:08] that hurts my feelings is,

[1:26:09] when I see it pop in my,

[1:26:10] up in my email,

[1:26:11] I immediately read it.

[1:26:12] It is the first thing,

[1:26:13] the only thing that I go to immediately when I see it.

[1:26:15] Uh,

[1:26:15] and I always find the,

[1:26:16] Hallie's,

[1:26:17] uh,

[1:26:17] entries to be both hilarious,

[1:26:19] and also poignant.

[1:26:21] Uh,

[1:26:21] and they make me think about the world in different ways.

[1:26:23] Yeah,

[1:26:23] they're very personal.

[1:26:25] Very personal.

[1:26:26] Okay.

[1:26:27] I tell it all,

Hallie Haglund

[1:26:28] you guys.

[1:26:29] So,

[1:26:30] if you want to get to know me,

[1:26:32] in that way,

Dan McCoy

[1:26:38] Interesting.

[1:26:39] Okay,

[1:26:39] well,

[1:26:40] uh,

[1:26:41] thank you for that plug.

[1:26:43] And,

[1:26:43] uh,

[1:26:44] thanks to Alex,

[1:26:45] our producer.

[1:26:46] He goes by the name,

[1:26:47] Howl Dottie,

[1:26:47] on the internet.

[1:26:48] Check out his music,

[1:26:50] his Twitch streams,

[1:26:51] uh,

[1:26:51] his own podcast.

[1:26:53] Thank you to Maximum Fun.

[1:26:55] If you go to MaximumFun.org,

[1:26:57] there are a lot of other great shows you can listen to.

[1:27:00] Uh,

[1:27:01] informative ones,

[1:27:02] funny ones,

[1:27:03] ones that are both.

[1:27:04] Uh,

[1:27:04] check them out.

[1:27:05] Uh,

[1:27:06] but for the Flophouse,

[1:27:06] I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:27:08] I've been Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:10] I've been Elliot Kalin.

[1:27:11] Just remembering now to tell you that my book,

[1:27:13] Joke Farming,

[1:27:14] is coming out very soon from the University of Chicago Press.

[1:27:16] I think you can pre-order it now.

[1:27:18] And we've been joined by.

[1:27:18] I pre-ordered it.

[1:27:19] Oh,

[1:27:19] thank you,

[1:27:19] Dan.

Hallie Haglund

[1:27:20] I have,

[1:27:21] am,

[1:27:21] and will always be,

[1:27:23] Hallie Haglund.

[1:27:26] Ooh.

[1:27:29] Ah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:37] So,

[1:27:37] Hallie,

[1:27:38] you were telling us you went to a Chapel Rhone concert with a 10-year-old?

[1:27:40] Yeah,

[1:27:41] I did.

[1:27:42] Uh,

Hallie Haglund

[1:27:43] I was hoping to,

[1:27:44] you know,

[1:27:44] I don't have a girl,

[1:27:46] so I,

[1:27:47] uh,

[1:27:48] glom on to my friends,

[1:27:50] who have girl children,

[1:27:51] hoping that I can influence,

[1:27:53] mold,

[1:27:54] shape them,

[1:27:55] whatnot.

[1:27:55] Uh,

[1:27:56] so it was my friend's daughter.

[1:27:58] Uh,

[1:27:59] but also my friend and another adult.

[1:28:01] Three adults,

[1:28:02] one child.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:03] Three,

[1:28:04] wait,

[1:28:04] three women and a baby.

[1:28:05] Exactly.

[1:28:05] Well,

[1:28:06] three women and a little lady.

Hallie Haglund

[1:28:07] Uh-huh.

[1:28:08] We're really,

[1:28:08] uh,

[1:28:10] turning things around.

[1:28:11] It's a new era,

[1:28:13] ladies.

[1:28:13] This is our world now.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:15] Finally,

[1:28:16] women can take care of the babies now.

[1:28:19] Sounds like you guys were H-O-T-T-O-G-O.

Hallie Haglund

[1:28:23] We were.

[1:28:24] We were.

[1:28:25] But then,

[1:28:25] when we were getting out.

[1:28:27] Look at Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:27] I was like,

[1:28:28] halfway through that,

[1:28:29] I was like,

[1:28:30] I don't know what you're spelling out.

[1:28:31] Don't get it.

[1:28:32] I don't understand.

[1:28:32] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[1:28:33] But then,

[1:28:33] when we were,

[1:28:33] uh,

[1:28:34] trying to drive out,

[1:28:35] it took a very long time,

[1:28:36] and someone had their window rolled down,

[1:28:38] and they were playing,

[1:28:39] um,

[1:28:39] like a parody of that song,

[1:28:41] that was like,

[1:28:42] H-O-T-D-O-G-S,

[1:28:46] hot dogs are the very best.

[1:28:51] I,

[1:28:51] it was good.

[1:28:52] It was maybe better than the original.

[1:28:57] Maximum Fun.

[1:28:58] A worker-owned network.

S5

[1:29:00] Of artists-owned shows.

[1:29:01] Supported.

[1:29:02] Directly by you.

Ep.#463 - Until Dawn, with Hallie Haglund

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