Episode #393 - Ticket to Paradise

Stuart Wellington

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Ticket to Paradise, which based on the blooper reel was a lot of fun to make.

[0:09] Yeah.

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

Dan McCoy

[0:37] Hey, it's me, Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:39] And I'm Elliot Kalin, trying to match Stuart's energy, but it feels forced when I do it. What's the problem?

Dan McCoy

[0:44] Why are you guys doing your voices like your 90s cartoon character?

[0:48] Oh, cool.

Elliott Kalan

[0:49] Because they were radical and tubular, and I know I said radical. That's radical plus cool.

[0:54] Hey, guys, here's the thing. Let's cut the crap. We've got something important to talk about,

[0:58] and it's not 90s cartoon characters, which I know are very important, and I want to talk about them.

[1:03] Thank you to our fans for coming out to last weekend.

[1:06] I believe it's the weekend before this episode is released because we don't record exactly on the day of release.

[1:11] Last weekend's Flophouse live show at the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York.

[1:15] You were a great audience, I say, as if I didn't record this ahead of the show.

[1:20] Elliot, you were incredible.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22] Dan, you have never been fucking funnier and hotter.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26] Thanks.

[1:26] You changed the way I think about comedy in a good way.

[1:29] Yeah.

[1:30] Yeah.

[1:30] And Dan, keep it up. Wonderful stuff.

Dan McCoy

[1:34] Huh.

[1:35] That's objectively a good compliment.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37] No, it's true.

[1:39] So I know a lot of our listeners out there are like, I don't live in Brooklyn. I couldn't get there. I missed the show.

[1:44] Why are you talking about it? Rubbing my face in the fact that I missed this amazing show.

[1:48] Here's the thing, listeners.

[1:49] You don't have to miss the show because you're going to get your own chance to see it.

[1:53] That's right. The Flophouse, Battle with Battlefield Earth, our live Brooklyn Battlefield Earth show is going to be online for you to watch starting April 22nd, 2023.

[2:04] On April 22nd, 2023, 7 p.m. Eastern, it will debut online as a streaming thing, and we will be there in the chat window to talk to you about it.

[2:15] Now, this is not the kind of thing that's going to happen for free.

[2:17] Unfortunately, we live in a capitalist society.

[2:19] If it was up to me, we would not.

[2:21] We would live in a place where we could have whatever we want from each according to their ability to each according to their need.

[2:26] That's not the world we live in.

[2:27] Here's the brass tacks. You're going to have to buy tickets.

[2:30] Tickets are available if you go to www.flophousepodcast.com slash stream.

[2:36] You can buy tickets to this exclusive streaming event.

[2:39] How exclusive is it?

[2:39] Well, you'll also have the chance to get VIP meet and greet tickets where you'll have an opportunity to talk to us by yourself with us, the Flophouses guys.

Dan McCoy

[2:49] Well, I don't know if it's by yourself.

[2:50] I think there might be – well, anyway, some sort of chat.

Elliott Kalan

[2:54] You'll get an actual chat and chew with us if you're eating at the time.

[2:59] We probably won't be, but you can.

[3:00] That's fine.

[3:01] You'll be in the comfort of your own house.

[3:02] Will exclusive merchandise be available during the show?

[3:05] Yes, and we've seen it, and it looks fantastic.

[3:07] It's some of my favorite merchandise that I think we've ever had.

[3:10] That's the Flophouse, Battle with Battlefield Earth.

[3:12] If you want tickets, go to www.flophousepodcast.com slash stream.

[3:18] It's one of those things where it's going to premiere April 22nd at 7 p.m. Eastern, and we will be there in the kind of chat to watch it with you and text, talk to you while it's happening.

[3:27] But then it'll be streaming for a while after that, so if you can't make it that night, you can get tickets to watch it at your leisure from that moment on.

Dan McCoy

[3:35] Yeah, and we want to tell people, too.

[3:37] We've been working with a company to make it look real nice.

[3:41] It's not just, I don't know, someone set up a camera, and that's what it looked like at the Bell House.

[3:47] It'll be edited together.

[3:48] It'll look good.

[3:49] It's going to look good for you guys.

[3:51] And it's a way to see a show that maybe you would want to if you lived in the area, but you just don't.

Elliott Kalan

[3:59] And it's going to include our presentations, and this will be one of the first times you can really see us doing our PowerPoint presentations, which, again, are specific to this show.

[4:06] Yeah, on stage, yeah.

[4:07] But usually you only get to see those if you go to the show in person.

[4:10] This time, you can watch them later, afterwards, on video.

Stuart Wellington

[4:13] And hopefully, and we don't know for sure, but hopefully by the time this episode drops, we actually should have trailers for that event on our social media.

[4:21] Yeah, it'll be neat.

[4:22] Yep, it'll be neat.

[4:23] So that's Flophouse.

Dan McCoy

[4:24] It'll make me feel like a real big-time person.

[4:27] I'll be like, look, there's a trailer that has me in it.

Stuart Wellington

[4:29] Dan, you've always felt like a big-time person to me.

[4:32] Thanks.

[4:34] Medium-time.

[4:35] Elliot's looking at me like, is Stuart doing some kind of elaborate bit?

Elliott Kalan

[4:40] Is Stuart trying to seduce Dan to get the riches that his first husband left him?

[4:47] Flophousepodcast.com slash stream to buy your tickets.

[4:49] I'm super excited about you getting the chance to see it and about interacting with you should you choose that opportunity, Flophouse listener.

[4:55] But now, let's get back to the show, which is called The Flophouse.

[5:00] What do we do on this?

[5:00] Yeah, what do we do on this, Dan?

[5:02] What do we do on this Flophouse podcast, Dan?

[5:05] I'm so excited the words can't come out of my mouth fast enough.

[5:07] What do you do on the Flophouse podcast, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[5:10] Yeah, it's a Flophouse.

[5:12] It's a show.

[5:13] It's a podcast where we watch a bad movie.

[5:15] All right.

[5:16] And then we talk about it.

[5:18] Or, you know, a movie that has gotten maybe not the greatest.

[5:22] It hasn't taken either or the critical or the box office by fire.

Stuart Wellington

[5:31] Based on the Rotten Tomato meter, this one seems to have a decent audience score.

[5:36] This was straight down the middle.

[5:37] Not so much.

Dan McCoy

[5:39] Critic-wise, I felt like Better Critic had it at a solid 50 right in the middle of their snail.

[5:45] And you know what?

[5:46] Sweet spot.

Elliott Kalan

[5:47] Made a little bit of money.

[5:48] So, I guess that's the end of the episode, guys.

[5:51] Congratulations.

[5:52] Ticket to Paradise.

Dan McCoy

[5:53] We've talked ourselves out of it.

Stuart Wellington

[5:57] Yeah, but it wasn't like – I think the reaction, even the positive reaction, was tinged with a little bit of meh.

Dan McCoy

[6:06] Especially considering that it was like, oh, we've got these two big, like, Hollywood stars.

[6:14] Old-timey movies.

[6:16] Not old-timey, but like what feel like our version of old-time movie stars.

Stuart Wellington

[6:20] Two stars who drip charisma and are very – have a lot of chemistry together generally.

Elliott Kalan

[6:26] And that's the thing.

[6:27] And this is the first time they've ever been in a movie together.

[6:29] Hold on.

[6:29] Let me check my notes.

[6:30] Wait.

[6:30] Oh, no.

[6:31] The eighth or ninth time they've made a movie together.

Stuart Wellington

[6:33] Yeah.

[6:34] But there's a reason why they've made a lot of movies together.

[6:36] Yeah, there is.

[6:36] Because they generally have chemistry.

Dan McCoy

[6:40] Yes.

[6:41] Julia Roberts and George Clooney.

[6:44] You pronounced their names correctly.

[6:46] Wonderful.

[6:47] $100 today.

[6:48] Well, I realize that.

[6:49] I don't think we actually mentioned the names of the stars, which would be helpful.

Stuart Wellington

[6:52] And we have a fresh crop of stars in supporting roles.

[6:56] We have Caitlin Deaver.

Dan McCoy

[6:57] Yep.

[6:58] Star of the future.

[6:59] Star of today.

[6:59] I love and – like, I've loved since Justified.

[7:02] Very great.

Stuart Wellington

[7:03] Loved since Justified.

[7:05] And also –

[7:06] Great in Booksmart.

[7:06] And Billy Lord.

[7:08] Yep.

[7:09] The daughter of Carrie Fisher.

[7:11] Very funny in Booksmart.

[7:12] The iconic Lieutenant Connix of the Star Wars universe.

[7:16] Yeah.

[7:17] Yeah.

[7:17] So this is Ticket to Paradise.

[7:20] And I'm driving this plane, I guess?

[7:24] This party –

[7:24] It's a plane?

[7:25] Party plane.

Elliott Kalan

[7:25] Party boat.

[7:26] I mean, in this movie we see planes, boats, jeeps, and a motorcycle.

[7:31] So choose your vehicle.

[7:33] You can drive.

[7:33] No trains or automobiles.

[7:35] Sorry.

[7:35] You do see automobiles.

[7:36] A Jeep is an automobile, Dan.

[7:37] Okay.

[7:38] Well –

[7:38] There are no trains.

[7:40] Okay.

[7:40] So the movie –

[7:42] I think Bali has a dearth of trains, but, you know.

[7:45] Sure.

[7:46] Being an island.

Stuart Wellington

[7:47] So guys, before I get into the plot, most of this movie takes place in Bali, which I'm assuming

[7:52] in part was chosen because everybody wanted to go on vacation.

[7:55] Now, I'm going to admit, I don't know that much about Bali.

[7:58] Mainly I know about Indonesia from action movies and also that I know that Bali is like a vacation

[8:04] destination of choice for influencers and OnlyFans creators.

[8:07] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[8:07] So do you guys know anything about Bali?

Stuart Wellington

[8:10] I know less than that.

Elliott Kalan

[8:12] I don't know much about Bali, and I know even less after watching the movie because, according

[8:15] to Wikipedia, principal photography took place in Queensland, Australia.

[8:18] So the movie itself was not really made much in Bali.

[8:23] Here's the thing about this movie.

[8:25] This is a movie that, for the most part, you know, it's a George Clooney, Julia Roberts

[8:30] charm off.

[8:32] But they go to Bali, and the characters in Bali – and I think this is a small step in

[8:38] the right direction of progressivism and a big step in an inadvertent wrong direction.

[8:43] The characters are not played – the fact that they are Balinese is not played for laughs.

[8:48] But at the same time, the characters who are not George Clooney and Julia Roberts, but

[8:53] also especially the characters who are not the white American characters, have very little

[8:56] personality and very little point of view of anything.

[8:59] And as we get into it, this movie is about a man and woman who are not happy that their

[9:04] daughter is about to get married to someone she barely knows.

[9:06] His race doesn't enter into it.

[9:08] But the fact that none of the groom's family seems to have any opinion other than, this is

[9:14] wonderful, we love everything, we're great.

[9:16] It really struck me as weird.

[9:18] The characters are D – kind of – they have no agency, essentially.

[9:23] And I think that's an element of them trying to be like – there's no racism to the movie,

[9:30] but it inadvertently makes them almost not characters.

[9:33] Do you feel the same way?

[9:34] Am I jumping into too deep waters as they do in the movie when a dolphin attacks one of them?

Dan McCoy

[9:38] The dad gets a little bit of wacky business to do.

[9:42] The groom is himself just kind of a manic pixie dream boy.

[9:48] He's a non-entity, yeah.

[9:49] But I will say that I would agree with you more, Elliot, if I didn't feel like basically all of the

[9:56] characters are given the bare minimum of characterization.

[10:01] That's true.

[10:01] I had no idea really who Caitlin Deaver was either slightly more with our leads, but not really.

Elliott Kalan

[10:10] That's a good point is that the Indonesian characters have very little personality, but also so does the third lead in the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[10:17] I feel like the character – and we'll get to him in a little bit – I feel like the character who has the most character is Paul Julia Roberts' character's boyfriend.

[10:28] Yeah.

[10:28] Okay, so the movie opens –

Elliott Kalan

[10:29] Wait, before we get in, one thing I want to say.

[10:31] It's not about Bolly.

[10:31] This movie is directed by Al Parker, and I guess the name is short for Oliver, I think.

[10:36] But every time I read it, I think it says Ol' Parker.

[10:38] And they're like, who should we get to direct Ticket to Paradise?

[10:42] Oh, well, I could take on your movie, Ol' Parker.

[10:45] What do you think?

[10:46] You said you were retired.

Stuart Wellington

[10:47] Yeah, you gave up that life of crime.

[10:49] You said, you know, I'm always ready to get pulled back into the cinema game.

Dan McCoy

[10:54] For a romp with Clooney and Roberts on vacation.

Stuart Wellington

[10:58] I mean, I feel like that's the ultimate heist is stealing America's hearts with two leads.

Dan McCoy

[11:05] Yeah, exactly.

[11:06] This director did Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again.

[11:10] I know that that's one of the other big credits.

Stuart Wellington

[11:14] Yeah, that's another old Parker joint.

[11:16] Yep.

Dan McCoy

[11:16] This movie is similarly sort of like vibrantly colored like vacation porn.

[11:24] And for a romp com, like it doesn't – none of the cinematography or anything enhances the comedy.

[11:30] But it does enhance like – there's so many like films out there that are just sort of shot with no style at all.

[11:37] It was nice to like at least have something pretty to look at.

Elliott Kalan

[11:40] It definitely helps the movie's mood that it is full of bright colors.

[11:43] Bright colors, sunshine, that kind of stuff.

Stuart Wellington

[11:46] Yeah, it feels like you're on vacation.

[11:47] Now, before we – again, before we get into the plot, I was just talking to one of my bartenders who is a film critic in her own right, Margaret Barton Fuomo.

[11:55] And she was saying that this movie reminded her of a trend in the 30s of comedies of remarriage.

[12:04] Do you feel that is – Elliot, I feel like you're the authority on this type of bullshit.

Elliott Kalan

[12:09] Yeah, there's a lot of that stuff.

[12:10] I mean the thing is comedies of remarriage were – there were quite a bit – you'd have movies like The Awful Truth or My Favorite Wife.

[12:21] There's one with William Powell and Myrna Loy too that's particularly like that where it is a – either a married couple splits apart and then – or Mr. and Mrs. Smith splits apart and then realizes why they should be together or a – but it's also – or His Girl Friday is one of those also.

[12:36] I mean that's 1940 I think.

[12:38] But it's the same time basically.

[12:40] And I think it does fit into that.

[12:41] But overall it fits into the larger romantic comedy trope of they hate each other, now they love each other.

[12:47] Like it's the African queen up till today.

[12:50] I mean in the 30s there are plenty of those too.

[12:52] And I feel like that's a big – in a romantic comedy the big challenge is making it clear to the audience these characters are in love with each other and need to be together and then coming up with reasons why they are not together.

[13:06] And I feel like this movie does not a great job of doing that because these two people who are divorcees who don't like each other anymore, so they say – they just kind of snipe at each other in funny ways.

[13:18] But they don't really seem to have any real problems with each other.

[13:21] Yes.

[13:21] As opposed to some of the comedies of remarriage of the 30s like there would be – they would kind of do a better job of at least showing the married people almost starting relationships outside of that previous relationship.

[13:37] And here there's – except for Paul, Julia Roberts' boyfriend who from the first moment it seems clear Julia Roberts is not that into.

[13:44] Yes.

[13:44] Other than that, there's no other element like that.

[13:46] There's no reason for them not to get back together.

Stuart Wellington

[13:48] Yeah.

[13:49] So the movie opens with divorced parents, David and Georgia, again played by George Clooney, which is weird that Julia Roberts' character's name is Georgia but not played by George Clooney.

[14:03] Is that weird?

[14:04] It's weird.

Elliott Kalan

[14:05] Okay.

[14:05] Do you think it caused some –

[14:06] Do you think there's ever a part where George Clooney was reading his lines and he saw that he was addressing someone as Georgia and he'd go, well, why am I talking to myself?

[14:12] Oh, I just –

[14:12] This is making sense.

[14:13] The name ends differently than mine.

Dan McCoy

[14:14] Yeah.

[14:16] So –

[14:16] Let's get the writer on the horn.

Elliott Kalan

[14:18] So they're in their respective cities.

[14:20] Yeah.

[14:21] Yeah, George.

[14:21] I got a question here.

[14:22] How come this character – how come this character – how come I'm talking to myself?

[14:26] I don't understand.

[14:26] Well, did you finish reading the name, George?

[14:29] No, I didn't.

[14:30] Well, take a look at that last two letters.

[14:32] You'll see they're different from the last letter in your name.

[14:34] All right.

[14:34] I don't think you're going to be right.

[14:35] Oh, Georgia.

[14:37] My apologies.

[14:38] Oh, I didn't mean to call you up in the middle of the night.

[14:40] I'm so sorry.

[14:40] At my age, I don't sleep that much anyway.

[14:42] Trick knees acting up means it's going to rain tomorrow.

[14:45] Uh-oh.

[14:46] Well, we have enough covered sets that we can work on for that day of the shoot.

[14:49] Oh, oh, Parker's been around the movie game more than once.

[14:52] I know how to handle rain or the threat of rain.

[14:55] Anyhoo, I'll just leave you be.

[14:57] Okay.

[14:57] And then George hangs up and goes, wait a minute.

[14:59] I called him, but he may sound like he called me.

[15:01] That's an amazing way to get off the phone.

[15:03] Yeah, he's great.

Stuart Wellington

[15:05] That's why he's the best.

[15:06] Yeah.

[15:06] That's why they had to bring him out of retirement.

[15:08] Yeah.

[15:08] So they're in their respective cities and they're recounting their former relationship

[15:13] to coworkers, friends, et cetera.

[15:17] George Clooney is what?

[15:18] Like a high-powered architect.

[15:21] Architect.

[15:21] That seems like a movie job.

[15:22] I know.

Stuart Wellington

[15:22] They're just both rich.

[15:23] That's what.

[15:24] And she is a.

Elliott Kalan

[15:24] All you do is you see him at a building site.

[15:27] So I don't know if he's the architect, if he owns the building, or what.

[15:30] I don't know.

[15:31] And Julia Roberts is what?

[15:33] Like a, she runs a gallery.

[15:35] She owns an art gallery.

[15:35] That's how kind of textbook rom-com this is, that he's an architect and she owns an art gallery.

[15:40] Like they're not even trying.

[15:41] He built the building.

Stuart Wellington

[15:43] She makes it beautiful.

Dan McCoy

[15:44] What are some glamour adjacent jobs that people sort of vaguely understand, but don't know so much about that they'll scoff at when we talk?

Stuart Wellington

[15:55] So this conversation, we're hearing both of their sides on their relationship.

[16:00] And we get, you know, two very different spins on the same story.

[16:03] But part of the backstory that has dropped is that we find out that George Clooney's character proposed to Julia Roberts' character, David proposed to Georgia at her graduation, which is, to me, a little insane.

[16:18] Because it was her day.

[16:20] It was her day to celebrate her achievement, and he took it from her.

Elliott Kalan

[16:23] Yeah, like just like the dad in Big Fish, everything's always got to be about him.

Stuart Wellington

[16:27] So, but they were married for only five years, but they did have a daughter, Lily.

[16:32] They do not get along.

[16:34] It was not an amicable divorce.

[16:35] And they, but they have not seen each other very much, but they both have to go to their daughter's graduation from law school, I think?

[16:46] From law school.

[16:46] Yeah, she's graduating from law school.

[16:49] We get introduced to Lily, played by Caitlin Deaver.

[16:53] Wait a minute.

Stuart Wellington

[16:53] Hold on a second.

Elliott Kalan

[16:54] My sister graduated from law school, and our parents are divorced.

[16:58] Is Ticket to Paradise about my family?

[17:01] Well, let's, I mean, when we follow the rest of the plot, perhaps.

[17:05] We'll have to see.

[17:06] I mean, I watched the movie, but I'm going to pretend that I don't know what happened, so I can compare it to my life and see if they've stolen my story.

[17:11] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[17:11] As we go along, keep a document open.

[17:14] You know, see what you have.

[17:15] See what kind of legal action we can take against.

[17:18] Yeah.

[17:18] And when I say we, I want to cut out this.

Elliott Kalan

[17:20] Yeah.

[17:21] Okay.

[17:21] I mean, you are a lawyer, right?

[17:23] I mean, I should just say my sister went to law school, but you should probably handle the case.

Stuart Wellington

[17:27] So we meet Lily, again, played by Caitlin Deaver, and her best friend and roommate, Ren, like the bird.

[17:33] Now, did it throw anyone else off?

[17:34] A chihuahua.

Elliott Kalan

[17:35] That's the thing.

[17:35] Until I looked up the movie's cast on Wikipedia, I was like, oh, they spell it, Ren like the bird.

[17:40] And I kept thinking it was Ren like Ren and Stevie.

[17:42] Yeah.

[17:43] Yeah.

[17:43] And I was like, well, it lines up.

[17:46] She would have been born like, you know, her parents could have been Nickelodeon fans.

[17:49] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[17:50] Her brother's name is Tommy Pickles.

[17:52] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[17:54] Okay.

[17:54] So they're packing for their post-graduation trip to Bali.

[17:59] Lily is packing school books.

[18:00] Ren is packing a long string of condoms.

[18:03] That really kind of defines their two characters.

[18:06] David and Georgia end up having this-

[18:08] But all those books are hollowed out and there's condoms inside.

[18:09] Filled with condoms.

[18:11] Just loose.

[18:12] Not even wrapped.

[18:13] Oh, no.

[18:15] Some used, but washed.

[18:16] You can fit more in there.

[18:18] No.

[18:18] Yeah.

[18:18] Stuart, God, no.

[18:21] David and Georgia end up having to sit next to each other during the ceremony and they

[18:25] can't stop bickering and fighting, distracting people around them.

[18:29] They continue to argue all the way to the airport.

[18:31] It's just constant arguing.

[18:33] They argue all the way to the airport the next day when they have to take Lily and Ren to

[18:38] their flight at Bali.

[18:40] There's a nice joke about having done seven Jaeger bombs, which was only one too many Jaeger

[18:45] bombs, which is not true.

[18:46] Any Jaeger bombs is too many.

[18:48] I'm sorry, kids.

[18:50] That's a professional bar owner.

[18:52] As a professional, I can say.

[18:53] Jaeger bombs, no thank you.

[18:56] Let's see.

[18:57] Lily.

[18:58] And so we get a little bit of like fast forward.

[19:01] We get some Instagram pictures in Bali.

[19:03] That's to show everybody that social media exists in this world.

[19:06] We get-

[19:07] We're worried.

[19:07] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[19:08] To show them that they're having a great time in Bali.

Dan McCoy

[19:11] They're having a great time.

[19:12] We get an opening credit sequence and having like had a vague idea of like what the plot

[19:18] of the movie was, you know, from like ads and whatnot.

[19:21] Like I sort of expected the whole like meeting between Caitlin Deaver and her, you know, soon

[19:29] to be a husband character to like just be done during this like montage.

[19:34] Like show it through like photos too.

[19:37] But, and, and was sort of genuinely surprised that we didn't just like skip to like Clooney

[19:42] and Julia Roberts getting like an invitation and like freaking out, you know, but, but maybe

[19:49] I, I, like, I think it could have been more efficient guys.

[19:51] That's all I'm saying.

[19:52] You're probably right.

[19:52] Because it's not actually that interesting, the meeting.

Elliott Kalan

[19:55] No, especially because the, the, so the, the groom's character, groom is named what?

[19:59] Gede?

[19:59] Is that his name?

[20:01] Getty.

[20:02] That's what it's, Getty.

[20:02] And he is not, he's very handsome and I'm, I'm sure like he's not really given a chance

[20:09] to show us what kind of an actor he is because there's not much to him.

[20:11] And I kind of almost wish that it was like Bridesmaids where Tim Heidecker is just walking

[20:16] around and has no lines.

[20:17] Yes.

[20:18] And the whole time you're like, is this some kind of elaborate fucking bit?

[20:22] Yeah.

[20:22] I was like, did they know he was there that day?

[20:24] Like, did he photobomb a movie?

[20:26] Like, how is this possible?

[20:27] I was just working.

[20:29] But the, in some ways I think that would have made more sense because then you as the audience

[20:33] too would not know who is this guy.

[20:35] Is it, is it the right choice or not?

[20:37] Whereas you see a whole meet cute and it's clear that as with all people who live in other

[20:41] countries, he is close to the land and lives in a more traditional, you know, healthy way

[20:47] and is, has a healthy family.

Stuart Wellington

[20:49] We get this great meet cute where Ren and Lily are abandoned in the ocean and before they

[20:54] die, Getty shows up.

[20:55] It briefly turns into the movie Open Water before Getty shows up.

[20:59] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[20:59] I assume that we were missing the scene where like whatever like snorkeling tour boat gets

[21:05] sued for not doing a head count about who's on the boat.

Stuart Wellington

[21:10] And so, yeah, she meets this handsome seaweed farmer, Getty.

[21:15] Then they connect at a party, which looks like a lot of fun.

[21:19] And then Lily wakes up in his bed, which is very much looks at, at his seaweed farm, which

[21:25] looks very much like a resort.

Elliott Kalan

[21:27] His bedroom doesn't seem to have a, it doesn't have a fourth wall, right?

[21:30] Like it's just open to the beach.

Stuart Wellington

[21:32] Yeah.

[21:32] It looks very, yeah.

[21:33] Again, it looks like the place influencers stay and they're like, I just roll out of

[21:37] bed.

[21:37] I eat some granola and then I jump right into the ocean.

[21:40] Yeah.

[21:41] And.

[21:42] And they spit that granola into the ocean for the fish.

[21:45] Yeah.

[21:46] Well, that's this.

[21:47] That's how the cycle works.

[21:48] They don't want all the calories.

[21:52] So Lily, after talking to Getty, realizes her entire life is out of balance and that she

[21:59] wants to stay in this beautiful place.

[22:00] And I'm like, you know, shit, everyone wants to stay on permanent vacation, dude.

Dan McCoy

[22:04] It's because he showed her Kira Nascazi the night before.

[22:09] That's actually why she realizes her life is out of balance.

Elliott Kalan

[22:11] So he's much more of a dude than I thought.

[22:13] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[22:13] Hey, I got to show you this movie first.

[22:15] I'll tell you what it means.

[22:16] Yeah.

[22:16] You're right.

[22:17] There is a, this movie is, and I mean, again, it's a romantic comedy.

[22:20] It doesn't have to be real.

[22:21] Like it's a, it's a fantasy from top to bottom, but you're right, Stuart.

[22:24] It is playing off that feeling you get when you're on vacation where it's like, I love

[22:27] this place.

[22:27] I should live here.

[22:28] Wait a minute.

[22:28] What I actually love is not going to work and relaxing every day.

[22:32] Like I've had that experience in San Francisco.

[22:34] In Paris where I'm like, I could live here forever.

[22:37] Oh, wait a minute.

[22:38] It's because I have no responsibilities while I'm here, except to just put food in my face

[22:41] when I'm hungry.

Dan McCoy

[22:42] And so then you thought, but if I faked my own death, I could, I could have no responsibility.

Stuart Wellington

[22:48] Yeah, exactly.

[22:49] Like, yeah, I just want to lie around on the beach, read crazy from the heat all day long.

[22:55] That's balanced to me.

Elliott Kalan

[22:56] Sure.

[22:57] But Dan, you know, you've read Maltese Falcon.

[22:59] You know, as soon as I fake my own death and I go somewhere, I'm just going to get another

[23:02] family, another job.

[23:03] I'll have all the same stresses because that's what happens when girders aren't falling on

[23:06] your head.

[23:07] You just revert to the mean, you know?

[23:08] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[23:09] I feel like, and also I feel like that's Elliot, like that kind of fits the Elliot I have built

[23:14] up in my mind is one where even in your fantasy, you're like, but I need more responsibilities.

Elliott Kalan

[23:19] I mean, I've always said to Danielle, I'm like, oh, I can't wait till I retire.

[23:22] And she's like, why?

[23:23] And I'm like, then I'll have more time for writing.

[23:25] And so it's like, it's a, yeah, I'm a, I'm a ceaseless engine, unfortunately.

Stuart Wellington

[23:31] Okay.

[23:31] So then we get a, we get a title card guys, 37 days later.

[23:36] So at this point, Killian Murphy has gotten out of the hospital.

Elliott Kalan

[23:41] So Killian Murphy's been out of the hospital for nine days at this point.

[23:44] He's already in that like, crazy.

[23:46] He's aware of what's going on.

[23:48] He knows the situation.

[23:49] He's not surprised anymore.

[23:50] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[23:50] Yeah.

[23:51] I mean, he's still surprised at the depths that humans can deprae themselves.

[23:56] Oh, sure.

[23:56] Sure.

[23:57] Yeah.

[23:57] So we then see.

[23:58] What if, wait a minute.

Elliott Kalan

[23:59] What if the, now I want to believe these are happening in the same universe.

[24:02] And when Killian Murphy sees that airplane at the end of 28 days later, he is seeing George

[24:06] Clooney and Julia Roberts heading to Bali for their daughter's wedding.

[24:10] There's nothing in this movie that doesn't say that England has become a quarantine zombie

[24:15] wasteland.

Dan McCoy

[24:15] It's the shared ticket to ride universe.

Stuart Wellington

[24:17] Ticket to ride, ticket to paradise.

[24:19] If I was, if I was Lily at this point, I'd be like, yeah, I'm staying in Bali.

[24:23] It seems safer here.

[24:24] Yeah.

[24:25] It's an island.

Elliott Kalan

[24:26] The rage virus can't get here.

Stuart Wellington

[24:28] So while the rage virus is raging.

[24:32] Oh, raging.

[24:32] It's destroying England.

[24:33] Meanwhile, in Bali.

[24:35] Yeah.

[24:35] Meanwhile, in what, LA, we see the, we see a very large building that in very large letters

[24:42] reads the Georgia Cotton Gallery.

[24:44] And I'm like, oh, she's rich, rich.

[24:47] She's very well off.

[24:49] Yeah.

[24:50] And she is taking a meeting with a client.

[24:52] She is wearing a suit that incorporates shorts that is very tasteful, I would say.

Elliott Kalan

[24:58] You know, Stuart, when you said before the recording that you hadn't edited down your

[25:01] notes, I thought surely that's not the case.

[25:05] Okay, so.

Dan McCoy

[25:06] No, I, for one, love Stuart's fashion corner.

Stuart Wellington

[25:09] Yeah.

[25:10] Yeah, stuff that is often overlooked by Elliot.

[25:12] Yeah.

[25:12] Very much so.

[25:13] Yeah, unfortunately.

[25:14] So she gets, Georgia gets a phone call from David because turns out Lily is getting married

[25:18] in Bali to a fellow she met in Bali.

[25:22] And David and Georgia immediately decide they have to break this up.

[25:26] Though they don't talk to each other about it then, they end up bumping into each other

[25:30] on the same flight to Bali.

[25:32] They're sitting next to each other on the same row.

[25:35] And to make matters more interesting, Georgia's hot young boyfriend, who's French, Paul, is

[25:42] the pilot on that flight.

[25:45] Dan, describe Paul for us.

Dan McCoy

[25:48] He just seems like a big old puppy dog.

[25:51] All he cares about is Julia Roberts.

Elliott Kalan

[25:56] To the point of having almost no character drives himself other than his need to be with

[26:01] Julia Roberts and support her.

Stuart Wellington

[26:03] Yes.

[26:04] Which is a red flag, ladies.

[26:06] Well, that's the thing like.

Elliott Kalan

[26:06] He definitely has, he is supportive to the point of almost being a horror character.

[26:12] Smothering.

[26:13] Yeah.

[26:13] It's a smothering.

[26:13] It's like a real monkey's paw situation.

[26:15] You wanted a supportive boyfriend?

[26:16] Here you go.

Dan McCoy

[26:17] I mean, I would say that that was true in real life.

[26:20] I have complex feelings because I like, yes, the movie presents it as his trait in a way

[26:25] that is like, you know, surface level, like nice, but then like later on her daughter's like, you know, this is like being loved isn't the same as loving, you know, like.

[26:36] And the idea is that, yeah, clearly this guy would become smothering over time and doesn't seem to have his own stuff going on in a way that is probably not good for a long-term relationship.

[26:46] That said, I feel like Julia Roberts and George Clooney both act so unpleasant towards each other and so abominably towards their daughter for like the first half of this movie that in contrast, I'm like, this guy is too good for her.

Elliott Kalan

[27:04] I mean, that was the other thing is that he has that trait.

[27:07] He is a kind of manipulatively, toxically supportive guy.

[27:11] But if you take that away, he's an incredibly handsome French pilot.

[27:15] Like, there's no reason that he should be with, I mean, and Julia Roberts is a beautiful, charismatic woman.

[27:21] She owns an art gallery.

[27:22] I'm sure she has a lot of interesting things around her life that they can relate to about each other.

[27:25] But like that she is an older woman who is already a divorcee and has a child.

[27:31] It doesn't make sense to me that this guy would be in a relationship with her at his point in life.

Stuart Wellington

[27:35] I don't think that's enough of a red flag.

[27:39] I would say her status.

[27:40] I wouldn't call that, I don't think that's a, I don't think it's a red flag.

[27:43] It just seemed unrealistic to me.

[27:45] I would say the unrealistic part is that he does not notice the very clear sexual tension between her and her bickering ex-husband.

Elliott Kalan

[27:52] Yes.

[27:53] And also doesn't seem to notice how little she seems to like him.

[27:56] Yes.

[27:56] And how little affection she has for him.

Stuart Wellington

[27:58] Although, guys, sometimes that's a real turn on.

[28:01] I mean, you know what?

Elliott Kalan

[28:02] That could be Paul's gank.

[28:04] He wants to be the loving one.

[28:06] He doesn't want to be the more loving one.

[28:07] Yeah.

[28:08] He wants to be the more loving one and the less loved one.

[28:09] Could be it.

[28:10] You know what?

[28:10] He's complicated.

[28:11] He's French.

Dan McCoy

[28:11] I wouldn't say that like he's unaware of like what's going on between her and Clooney.

[28:16] He seems to be aware of it.

[28:18] Yeah.

[28:18] But he's like choosing not to be bothered by it, which honestly made him more attractive.

[28:24] Oh, yeah, that's very – you know, at least he's just letting it play out and see what happens.

[28:29] I guess so.

[28:29] And then like he'll make his choice.

Elliott Kalan

[28:31] Not to jump ahead too much, but there is a part where he knows that she has spent the night in George Clooney's room and he is totally okay with it.

[28:37] And I wanted her to be like, look, Georgia, that's what I'm into.

[28:42] I am into you cucking me.

[28:44] This is what I want.

[28:44] Finally, we're getting somewhere in this relationship.

[28:46] Like I wanted that scene, but it didn't happen, unfortunately.

Stuart Wellington

[28:49] Well, yeah, you can write it right into your movie.

[28:52] Yeah, write it in the margins of your movie.

Elliott Kalan

[28:54] Well, it's going to be called Cuck to Paradise, and it's going to be just from Paul's point of view and how turned on he is by the whole situation.

[29:01] Like nothing makes him hotter than the idea of losing her to her ex-husband.

Dan McCoy

[29:05] There are plenty of websites I think that would happily accept your short story.

Elliott Kalan

[29:10] Well, do you think they'd print it in the Atlantic?

[29:12] Because that's what I'm really aiming.

Dan McCoy

[29:15] Maybe.

[29:16] Is there a news hook maybe that you could add?

[29:18] I can find something, yeah.

[29:19] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[29:20] Okay, so Georgia and David try and come up with a plan taking the ferry to the, I guess, the family farm, the island that they're going to.

[29:30] But they can't seem to agree, although they kind of try and play it cool when they see their daughter again.

[29:37] They try to play it cool and supportive, but then they're hoping to undercut it and cause a rift between their daughter and her husband.

[29:48] Initially, Lily seems on to them, but then kind of forgets about it until like the beginning of the end of the second act or something.

Elliott Kalan

[29:57] Lily is aware of the situation when the movie demands her to be and unaware when the movie demands her to be.

Stuart Wellington

[30:04] Yeah.

[30:04] So they go to a big pre-wedding party, which is-

Elliott Kalan

[30:06] Unless off camera she's getting hit in the head with coconuts and forgetting things, which again would have been an interesting choice to make in the movie.

[30:12] Old Parker, why did you do that?

[30:13] Well, we shot the scenes with the coconuts, but the movie was running a mite long.

[30:18] And I know you modern day movie people, you sit for two and a half, three hours for your movie, but I don't want to go much farther over an hour 30.

[30:25] And this was an hour 44 with credits, and that's the sweet spot for old Parker.

Dan McCoy

[30:29] I was using Kubrickian precision, and I had hit Caitlin on the head with a coconut more than a hundred times.

[30:37] And she then had to be airlifted off the island to a hospital, and then the producers stepped in and said, is this scene really necessary?

Elliott Kalan

[30:47] They said the insurance company was starting to ask questions, and I said, you don't know how many times I threw a coconut at the head of Joan Fontaine when I needed to.

[30:56] We had real movie making in those days, and the actors and the actresses, why, they never complained, because they knew this was their ticket to stardom.

[31:04] Talk about a paradise.

[31:05] Anyway, I'll let you go.

[31:07] Wait, but we called you old Parker to complain about the scene, but then you acted like you called us.

[31:12] Amazing.

Stuart Wellington

[31:13] I'm going to pass out.

[31:15] Okay, so they arrive at a pre-wedding party, which is supposed to be close family, but it turns out that close family is a relatively large community.

[31:24] And Lily has grown very close with this family, but George and David are very out of their element.

[31:30] We get some jokes about them not understanding the language.

[31:32] There is one, there is a character who ends up being the translator for some of the other family members who can't speak English.

[31:38] And I think she gets a couple of good laugh lines, like hearing a big string of, is it Indonesian or Balinese?

[31:45] I don't know what the language is.

[31:48] I'm not sure.

[31:49] But she'll hear like a long string of words and then just be like, she says hello.

[31:54] Those kind of classic bits.

Elliott Kalan

[31:55] Yeah, that character, she's very much a kind of like over it, uninterested, bored, you know, teen or whatever.

[32:01] And it's her and Ren have so much more personality than Lily does.

[32:05] And I wish they had taken some of those traits.

[32:08] Like, Ren, Lily's best friend Ren.

[32:10] She drinks too much.

[32:12] Everyone thinks she's kind of a loser and she's like a mess loser.

[32:15] And I wish that, I just wish they had kind of like, as much as I really like Caitlin Deaver, I wish that they had kind of like moved Billy Lord over and made her the daughter.

[32:26] Because the movie would just sort of made more sense to me that way.

[32:30] Yeah.

[32:31] If the daughter had that kind of like impulsiveness, you know.

Dan McCoy

[32:34] Yeah, but also she has like this sort of like, that character has this sort of loopy emotional intelligence to like, you know, counterweight the other stuff.

[32:43] I mean, she's the sidekick role.

Stuart Wellington

[32:45] But again, still a more interesting character.

[32:46] Yeah, no, no, no.

Elliott Kalan

[32:47] A lot of rom-coms are like that, where the sidekick character is like the funny one with personality.

[32:52] And that's why like, if you're in a romantic comedy, the sidekick role is often like the breakout role.

[32:56] Like, that's where you want, you want to be like Rupert Everton by Best Friend's Wedding, right?

[33:00] Right.

[33:00] Where it's like, you want to be the sidekick.

[33:02] But the, then it just leaves you often with a, with a main character who is not, and I guess, and I guess Lily's not the main character, but you leave with a pivotal character who doesn't have a lot going on.

[33:11] Yeah.

[33:11] You know.

Stuart Wellington

[33:12] Yeah.

[33:13] So, Gede takes David on kind of a tour of the farm and David tries to scare Gede off, saying his daughter is going to get sick of this lifestyle.

[33:22] But then it's also revealed that this farm sells to Whole Foods, which is only wild because the farm doesn't seem that big and it almost never seems like anyone's working.

Elliott Kalan

[33:33] Which, that's true.

[33:34] The seaweed really farms itself.

[33:35] All they seem to do is gather it for like an hour in the morning and then the rest of the days.

[33:39] But on the other hand, they might not be working as hard since this is his wedding weekend.

Stuart Wellington

[33:43] Yeah, that's true.

[33:45] There is a scene where a character refers to Julia Roberts as looking like a very attractive horse, which was a little weird.

Dan McCoy

[33:55] I enjoyed that scene for Julia Roberts playing of it.

[34:00] Yeah.

[34:00] Like, it was like she really, like, it's a scene where, you know, she is throwing off kind of any sort of movie star ego and just being like complimented in this insulting way.

[34:14] And her sort of, like, polite acceptance of it was very funny to me.

[34:19] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[34:20] So, and then David and George, it turns out that they're staying at a nearby resort, which looks kind of similar to where the farm.

[34:33] And, of course, he and George are staying in rooms that are right next to each other, which is kind of interesting because they booked all their travel completely separately.

[34:41] So, it's interesting that they ended up being right next to each other.

[34:44] It doesn't really matter.

Elliott Kalan

[34:45] I think they might have used the same travel agent.

[34:47] It's called Divorcees Who Should Be Together Travel.

[34:49] Yeah.

[34:50] And they hook you up with all the things that are necessary to get you back together again.

[34:54] Yeah, it's called Parent Trap Travel.

Stuart Wellington

[34:57] Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's a, if you were to do that, I feel like there'd be a lot of fun in creating a travel agent character who's just really into trying to set people up.

Elliott Kalan

[35:06] Yeah, that'd be really funny.

Stuart Wellington

[35:08] Okay, so David can't sleep, so he ends up at the hotel bar and Ren shows up and they have a non-romantic catch-up scene, which I appreciated.

Elliott Kalan

[35:20] This was, honestly, this was, I think, my favorite scene in the entire movie.

[35:24] Yeah, I think I agree.

Stuart Wellington

[35:24] He's such a fucking sucker for hotel bars and George Clooney's hotel bar scene in Out of Sight is like one of the sexiest scenes.

[35:33] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[35:33] I love that shit.

[35:34] What I really liked about this was that George Clooney is, feels like, they both feel like real people here.

[35:39] It feels like, oh, this is a conversation between a guy who has regrets, who doesn't, isn't really sure of what's going on in his life or what's going on with his daughter,

[35:49] and his daughter's friend who feels like a daughter to him as well, who he's very close to, but who he can speak to a little more openly because she's not his daughter.

[35:57] Yeah.

[35:57] And there was, and the fact is, he's so charismatic and so handsome that I was worried they might end up sleeping together.

[36:04] And that didn't happen.

[36:06] And because her character's kind of like, I'll drink anything.

[36:09] I'll sleep with anybody.

[36:10] Yeah, yeah.

[36:10] But the fact that it didn't happen and the scene ended and it was like, oh, this felt like the kinds of thing that happens when people meet up with each other at weddings and are just kind of around each other and they open up in honest ways.

[36:21] I thought this was a really great scene.

[36:23] Yeah.

[36:23] I really liked it.

Stuart Wellington

[36:23] It was great.

[36:24] And it, like, it made me wish that there was, so George Clooney does a lot to explain his motivation at different times.

[36:32] Like, he talks about how he had bought a plot of land and he was building a dream house for him in Georgia to live in and then it burned down.

[36:40] And I would have liked a little more background because, you know, he doesn't have, he doesn't have a person in his life.

[36:47] And I would have liked a little more background on, like, has he not dated anyone in the 20-odd years since his divorce?

[36:55] Yeah.

[36:56] Or had he had every single relationship been sabotaged because he is still clinging to this, like, fantasy of his past relationship?

[37:07] I'm reading too much into this movie at this point.

Elliott Kalan

[37:09] No, but I think you're doing, it's the kind of reading that the movie could have done a little bit more of and it would have elevated the whole thing.

[37:15] Because as it is, it does feel like these characters are born the moment the movie starts and then their backstory is filled in as necessary.

[37:23] And it's, like, almost they're remembering those things as they need to as opposed to these, us finding it, these people at this moment in their lives when they've lived, you know, for X many years beforehand.

Dan McCoy

[37:32] But also, at least he gets that.

[37:34] I don't even think Julia Roberts gets as much development.

Elliott Kalan

[37:37] No, the closest she gets to that is when she talks very briefly about being a mom after the divorce.

[37:44] And that's about it.

[37:45] And, like, she gets very little to sketch in who she is.

Dan McCoy

[37:49] Yeah, and the daughter keeps talking about, you know, like, how amazing her parents are, particularly the mom.

[37:56] And, like, we believe it because it's Julia Roberts, but, like, the movie doesn't do that.

[38:02] Like, this movie, you know, more than most things we watch really coasts along on the fact that, like, these are people that you like.

[38:10] And I think that's part of its strategy, but it does it too much.

Elliott Kalan

[38:13] I mean, it's the benefit of, that's why you cast George Clooney and Julia Roberts for something like this.

[38:17] It's what Alfred Hitchcock would do, and he would cast actors.

[38:19] He'd say, I'm casting Jimmy Stewart because he brings with him the Jimmy Stewart's that he was in other movies.

[38:23] I'm casting Cary Grant because you already know who he is as soon as he shows up on screen.

[38:27] But even there, they would give you, like, a little bit more meat for the characters in here.

[38:32] Yeah, it's just, there's not a lot of, especially for Julia Roberts, there's not a lot of meat.

Stuart Wellington

[38:36] Yeah, it's like you cast Vin Diesel, so you're getting Dominic Toretto.

[38:39] You're getting Xander Cage.

[38:41] You're getting The Last Witch Hunter.

[38:43] You're getting all these.

[38:45] You're getting Pitch Black.

[38:46] Pitch Black, yeah.

[38:47] You're getting all these guys.

Dan McCoy

[38:48] That was his name.

[38:49] He was, like, there were later sequels to that movie that were just his name, and yet.

[38:55] His name's Riddick, I'm sorry.

Stuart Wellington

[38:57] His name is dumb, because his name is Riddick, right?

[38:59] That's a dumb name.

[38:59] Riddick, he's a Furian.

[39:02] Wait.

[39:02] His eyes glow.

[39:03] He was in love with Kyra, but she died.

[39:06] I'm sorry, I'm trying to remember the song Heart of the Furian by Dire Peril, which lists all this shit.

Elliott Kalan

[39:13] And you also get bloodshot when you cast him.

[39:16] A lot of people forget that.

Stuart Wellington

[39:16] You get it all.

[39:17] You get the whole thing.

[39:18] That's why you cast Vin Diesel on things.

[39:19] You don't cast him to, like, be a guy who can tie ties realistically.

Elliott Kalan

[39:23] And I wonder if they're trying for that with Caitlin Dever, too, because this character fits in a lot with previous characters she's had in other movies.

[39:32] Yeah.

[39:32] But I feel like she doesn't automatically bring that with her quite the same way, because it's not that, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[39:38] She just hasn't had the years to do it.

Elliott Kalan

[39:41] Yes, like MaxFun founder Jesse Thorne, I was hanging out with him, and he was reminding me of an old SNL sketch that Jack Handy wrote that George Clooney is in.

[39:51] It's about tales of railroad management malfeasance or something like that.

[39:54] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[39:55] Malfeasance and railroad hiring practices.

[39:57] And this is a sketch from 30 years ago.

[39:59] And George Clooney, when I watched it again, I was like, he looks so young.

[40:02] I forget, I think of him now as, like, an older handsome guy.

[40:05] But before that, he was a young handsome guy.

[40:07] And that's what informs the older handsome guy.

[40:09] And, like, she just doesn't have enough of that built up yet for her to automatically bring the character with her.

[40:13] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[40:14] So the next morning, David convinces Georgia to steal the wedding rings from a child, and she uses a trick where she explains, in America, we slice bananas before we peel them.

[40:26] I don't know how this trick works.

[40:28] Well, okay.

[40:28] Does she use, like, razor blades?

[40:29] So, all right.

Elliott Kalan

[40:30] Okay, well, you need a needle and thread, right?

[40:32] You need a needle and thread.

Stuart Wellington

[40:33] Is this an old?

Elliott Kalan

[40:34] Yeah, she uses a sonic gun that you'd use to break up a kidney stone, and she just hits the banana with it.

Stuart Wellington

[40:40] Well, she doesn't even need the gun.

[40:41] She can just do the sonic boom that Guile does in Street Fighter.

Dan McCoy

[40:44] Yeah, oh, yeah.

[40:44] This is an old, quote, unquote, magic trick you would find in, like, a kid's magic book where you do, like, a couple of—

[40:51] Dan's looking at me right now like I'm some dumb kid.

Elliott Kalan

[40:54] Dan's just—he's like—the disgust with which Dan is applying the word magic to this, like, the ghost of Ricky Jay is, like, inside Dan's head being like, you make sure this is not real magic.

[41:04] Well, I'll tell you why this is, like, a terrible—

Dan McCoy

[41:07] You use—yeah, you use a needle and thread.

[41:10] You basically, like, pass a thread through, so the thread is cutting the banana inside the peel.

[41:16] You're essentially garrotting the banana in its own skin.

[41:18] You get a couple of holes.

[41:19] Pretty cool.

[41:20] Because of it.

[41:21] And if you know anything about a banana, if you damage the peel, it will brown up right away.

[41:28] So this gagged banana, this tricked banana will look—like, it's not—it's not not obvious that there are a bunch of fucking holes in this banana.

Elliott Kalan

[41:38] But it's not like the banana browns up, like, instantly, like, Dorian Gray crumbling to dust.

[41:44] Like a drink from the wrong fucking goblet.

Stuart Wellington

[41:46] When did Julia Roberts, like, rig this banana?

Elliott Kalan

[41:50] She carries around a divided banana in her luggage.

[41:53] Like, she took a banana.

[41:54] She has a sewing kit.

[41:55] She did it moments before.

[41:57] Moments before.

Dan McCoy

[41:58] I'm saying that banana would be brown.

Elliott Kalan

[42:01] No, not a—you peel a banana, and you set it out to eat.

[42:04] It's not like it instantly turns brown.

[42:06] It takes a little bit of time.

Dan McCoy

[42:08] So I think when—

[42:08] Listeners, try this thread trick.

[42:11] See how long it takes a banana to look absolutely crazy.

[42:13] Yeah, throw that shit up on TikTok.

[42:16] We'll watch it.

[42:16] Yeah, update us.

Elliott Kalan

[42:17] Do a day-by-day update.

[42:18] Then do a time-lapse of the whole thing.

[42:20] Now that Georgia has the magic rings—

[42:21] Then do a time-lapse of us.

[42:22] Then put the music on it.

[42:24] You already—you made your own Koyana Scotsy.

[42:26] Congratulations.

Stuart Wellington

[42:27] Now that—

[42:28] Banana Scotsy.

[42:29] Now that Georgia has stolen the magic rings,

[42:31] I think it delays the wedding ceremony a little bit

[42:34] and buys them a little bit more time to break up this couple.

[42:38] So then they go swimming with dolphins.

[42:39] One of them bites David in the leg,

[42:41] and he has a real meltdown about it.

[42:44] And we already can tell that Gede believes that David and Georgia

[42:49] stole the rings and are doing—are up to no good.

[42:53] They're up to mischief.

[42:55] David tries to play dumb.

[42:58] Georgia keeps Lily busy.

[43:01] But Gede doesn't tell Lily his suspicions,

[43:03] which is not cool.

[43:05] You should be more open and honest with this stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[43:07] I mean, he should, but I understand that he's trying to preserve the relationship

[43:11] of her and her parents because she would be so mad if she knew what they were doing.

Stuart Wellington

[43:17] Next morning, Georgia and David are woken up early to help bring in the seaweed crop alone.

[43:23] Again, they're the only people out there.

[43:25] They get to have a little fight flirt.

Dan McCoy

[43:27] Yeah, nothing more romantic than picking seaweed together.

[43:30] Yeah.

[43:30] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[43:32] It becomes competitive because they're both alphas.

[43:35] They're high-functioning people.

[43:37] They're real type A's, yeah.

[43:38] Then they watch Gede get his teeth filed down.

Elliott Kalan

[43:41] Now, there are a couple different things,

[43:43] and now I don't know anything about Balinese or Indonesian wedding practices,

[43:47] but they go to a couple different rites of passage for the wedding,

[43:51] and I'm curious.

[43:52] I guess I could do the research.

[43:53] How much of it is real stuff and how much of it is not real stuff?

[43:56] Because if it's not real stuff, then they are making up things.

[44:01] But maybe it's real stuff.

Stuart Wellington

[44:03] I've never heard of it before.

[44:04] So then they go to ease the pain.

[44:08] They all go out and drink moonshine and play beer pong.

[44:11] This leads to a lot of dancing,

[44:13] and they dance embarrassingly to songs that I remember growing up with as a kid,

[44:18] so it made me feel very old, guys.

[44:20] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[44:21] I'm curious.

[44:21] Because, Stuart, these are the songs that we listened to as kids,

[44:24] and they would have heard as 20-somethings.

Stuart Wellington

[44:26] So that makes me feel like...

[44:27] At least one of these songs, I think it was Jump by House of Pain.

[44:31] I owned on Kasingle, everybody.

Elliott Kalan

[44:33] Now, Dan, are you going to ask me how I felt about this because of my...

[44:36] I'm on record as hating scenes where actors are just dancing.

[44:41] Here's what I'm going to tell you.

Dan McCoy

[44:42] Well, no, wait.

[44:42] Hold on.

[44:42] I was going to ask it.

[44:43] Let me ask it in my way, but you're...

[44:45] Great mind meld, Elliot.

[44:47] So I watched it, and I was thinking, like, okay, I know Elliot hates stuff that's just like,

[44:54] see how much of a good time we had.

[44:56] Yeah.

[44:56] You know, and I understand that in many situations.

[45:01] In this case, because of all that history with these actors, and the movie is absolutely coasting on this,

[45:10] it is not about, like, oh, these characters are cutting loose.

[45:12] It's like, isn't it fun?

[45:13] You're seeing Clooney and Julia Roberts act drunk, play beer pong, and dance around real silly.

[45:21] You know, like, that's what this is being sold on.

[45:24] Like, it was fun to me, and I still, I enjoyed it.

[45:27] I understand how it could be a rejection, but I was like, I wonder what Elliot thinks about it.

Elliott Kalan

[45:31] I want you to ask me, because I did enjoy this part, but I'll tell you why.

[45:34] Because to me, this was the character, I have to say in this point, it is the characters dancing this way.

[45:40] They are those characters with their shared history, getting drunk, and having a moment where they are

[45:44] deliberately embarrassing their daughter by dancing in a way that I can fully relate to as a parent,

[45:49] because I love to embarrass my children.

[45:51] And so it was like, it wasn't just like someone showing...

Stuart Wellington

[45:54] Elliot, have you already picked out the, like, stained, tidy whities you're going to wear to answer the door

[45:59] when your sons start to bring dates home?

Elliott Kalan

[46:01] No, but that's a great idea.

[46:03] I should be doing that.

[46:04] I got to pre-stain them with just like, you know, like wood, like something you would stay in a deck with.

[46:09] Yeah.

[46:10] So for me in this moment, it wasn't, oh, everyone in the cast is having a dance party.

[46:17] Now Lily's dancing.

[46:18] Now Ren is dancing.

[46:19] It was the two of them, those two characters having fun dancing, and the younger characters being embarrassed by it.

[46:25] And I was like, yeah, I like this.

[46:26] I like seeing these two, I like seeing these characters having fun in this way.

[46:30] Sure, I like seeing Julia Roberts and George Clooney having fun in some way.

[46:33] But I think the fact that it was partly for a story purpose and a character purpose.

[46:38] Yeah.

[46:38] Made it for me where I was like, okay, I do enjoy this.

[46:41] This is a funny thing.

[46:42] As opposed to like, hey, we had such a great time making this movie.

[46:45] Right.

[46:45] I'm going to wish you were here, you know.

Dan McCoy

[46:47] No, no, it fits in the movie.

[46:49] And I guess I was too extreme in the way I put it.

[46:51] Like, I don't think that, like, it does work on a character level.

[46:54] Like, it makes sense in the movie at this place.

[46:58] And that's, like, it doesn't feel like just a fuck around that they, like, decided to keep in.

Elliott Kalan

[47:04] If the movie ended as the movie Nailed slash Accidental Love does.

[47:07] Yeah.

[47:07] With a wedding scene where it's just all the actors dancing with each other.

[47:11] Then I would have been like, shut this movie down.

[47:13] Yeah.

[47:13] End it already.

[47:14] I don't need to see this, you know.

Dan McCoy

[47:15] But I do think that, like, a big part of it is, like, if these were other actors doing this, it wouldn't have the same charge as, like, oh, look at our, like, Hollywood royalty.

[47:28] Like, what we have as Hollywood royalty these days.

[47:30] Like, fucking around.

Elliott Kalan

[47:32] You say that, but if it was Juliette Binoche and Stellan Skarsgård, I think you'd be pretty entertained.

Dan McCoy

[47:37] Yeah, you're right.

Stuart Wellington

[47:41] So they drank a little too much, and George and David wake up in bed together, very hungover.

[47:47] But they insist nothing happened.

[47:49] Although, you know, they're a little uncomfortable.

[47:51] And especially so because they're in George's room.

[47:54] And who arrives first thing in the morning?

[47:56] That's right.

[47:57] It's Paul, George's boyfriend.

[48:00] They make a big hullabaloo about trying to trick him into thinking it was somebody else's room.

[48:06] That they switched rooms.

[48:07] But they, he, like, it's kind of no point because Paul figures it out.

Dan McCoy

[48:11] I want to call something out here that annoyed me.

[48:13] And I also saw that our friend.

[48:14] Go for it.

Stuart Wellington

[48:14] This is the perfect venue for them.

Dan McCoy

[48:16] Yeah.

[48:16] Our friend Matt Singer also made this point on his Letterboxd review.

[48:20] But, like, you know, he has to put on some pants.

[48:24] And so he puts on Julia Roberts' character's yoga pants.

[48:27] And she's like, and he's like, they're too tight.

[48:30] You know, and he's like, they were yoga pants.

[48:31] They'll stretch.

[48:32] And then you see him in the next scene.

[48:33] He's wearing these baggy yoga pants.

[48:34] They're like hammer pants.

[48:35] They're like, they're like, they're like, they're like harem pants.

[48:38] And like the gag would be, the joke would be put Clooney in spandex.

[48:43] Like, make it real tight on Clooney.

[48:45] Put him in some, like, Lululemon.

[48:45] See his joke.

[48:46] Yeah.

[48:47] I want to see that shit flopping around.

[48:50] Just Clooney up.

[48:51] Yeah.

[48:52] I mean, it just doesn't look weird that he's wearing these pants at all.

Stuart Wellington

[48:54] I didn't clunk down my hard-earned money for a fucking Peacock subscription to not see George Clooney's fucking stuff smashed into a tiny pair of yoga pants.

[49:04] Give me that yoga toe.

Dan McCoy

[49:08] That's what Stu says.

[49:09] Wait, yoga toad?

[49:11] Yeah.

[49:12] Yoga tozers.

[49:14] Oh, okay.

[49:15] Yeah, yeah.

[49:15] Okay, that makes sense.

[49:16] The porn version of yoga hosers, which was more profitable than yoga hosers.

[49:21] It would have to be.

Elliott Kalan

[49:23] Most people didn't know it was a parody.

[49:25] That was the thing.

[49:26] They just thought it was a straightforward porn.

[49:27] Yeah.

[49:28] Yeah.

[49:28] Okay.

[49:28] It's like airplane and zero hour.

[49:30] People don't know the source material.

[49:31] Yeah.

[49:32] Exactly.

Stuart Wellington

[49:33] Okay.

[49:33] So they end up doing a little family trip.

[49:36] And David bowls ahead like he's a dad and makes them all go on a trip to a temple that is bad luck to visit to if you are an unmarried couple.

Elliott Kalan

[49:46] Now, this is a real temple.

[49:47] I don't know if it's really bad luck to visit if you're unmarried.

Stuart Wellington

[49:51] At the temple, Paul decides to propose to Georgia, which, again, don't fucking do this shit.

[49:56] Don't propose to people at – don't propose to somebody at someone else's fucking wedding.

[50:01] No.

[50:01] That's their function, dude.

[50:03] Let them have their moment.

[50:04] Save it.

[50:05] Take her on a different – you're a pilot.

[50:06] You can take her anywhere in the world.

[50:09] Okay.

[50:11] I guess that's how it works.

[50:12] Yeah, nonetheless.

[50:13] Well, it's not too far.

[50:14] Like, I think we're in between.

[50:16] Yeah.

[50:16] So, Paul – yeah.

[50:19] Guys, I'm known for having a gift of hyperbole.

[50:21] Yeah.

[50:22] Sometimes I think it's a curse.

[50:25] You're a false savvy figure.

[50:25] Yeah.

[50:26] Hyperbolus is the muse that you worship and who gifted you with your talents.

[50:30] Yeah.

[50:31] Again, sometimes a curse.

[50:32] Sometimes, you know, a power.

[50:34] Sure.

Elliott Kalan

[50:35] The ancient Greek story of Stu, who was cursed with the gift of hyperbole.

[50:41] One time, he walked into an ancient Greek diner and unfortunately ordered 10,000 eggs.

Stuart Wellington

[50:49] I would eat every one of them because, A, they're very expensive now, and, B, a great source of protein, you know?

[50:56] Yeah.

[50:56] And you can do so many different things with an egg.

[50:59] You can, yeah.

[51:00] Scramblin'.

Dan McCoy

[51:01] You walk into an egg council commercial.

[51:04] I don't understand where we are.

[51:05] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[51:05] I mean, if we could get sponsored by an egg council so I could get more eggs.

[51:09] The idea of eggs could sponsor us.

[51:11] Yeah.

[51:12] Eggs, if you're listening, please consider sponsoring the Flatbast.

[51:14] If you heard a desperation in my voice during the MaxFun drive, it's because I need more eggs.

[51:20] Okay.

[51:20] So they're at this temple.

[51:21] He proposes to Georgia.

[51:23] She is immediately nervous.

[51:25] We all knew this was happening.

[51:26] She was not going to be into it.

[51:28] But before she can respond, he gets bitten by a venomous steak, and they have to rush him to the hospital.

[51:33] And the whole family's there.

Dan McCoy

[51:35] She has to suck the poison out, and it had the gag that I've always wanted her to be in it, where her lips then get numb, and she seems woozy.

[51:45] They don't do anything with that.

[51:46] She seems fine in the next scene.

Elliott Kalan

[51:47] But I always did.

[51:48] Because the idea of Julia Roberts being poisoned by a snake is terrifying.

[51:52] It's hilarious.

Stuart Wellington

[51:53] It's traumatic.

[51:54] The idea that that could happen to America's sweetheart.

[51:56] Yeah.

[51:57] Unless it was her character from My Best Friend's Wedding, who's basically a villain, right?

[52:02] Sure, sure.

[52:03] Yeah, of course.

[52:03] She's a bad guy.

[52:04] She's, yeah.

[52:05] Okay.

[52:06] So the family's kind of divided.

[52:08] When Lily finds out her mother was proposed to, she's like, that guy?

[52:13] He's boring.

[52:14] And David tries to put on a brave face like he has in many situations in this movie.

[52:19] But you know it's bothering him.

[52:21] And she doesn't respond.

[52:23] So David goes ahead with Lily and Gede on the next part of their trip, which Georgia quickly follows them on.

[52:30] Though it's a little weird because they end up going to a more remote island, I guess.

[52:35] And David forgets or just is unable to successfully tie up Gede's boat, which then floats away.

Elliott Kalan

[52:42] To be honest, why is David being given the job of tying up the boat?

Stuart Wellington

[52:45] That doesn't make any sense.

[52:46] I mean, Gede's already suspicious of him.

[52:49] So the boat floats away.

[52:51] And then Georgia showed up right around then.

[52:53] Because much like Hope, this boat floats.

[52:56] Oh, nice.

[52:57] Well, I mean, most boats float.

Dan McCoy

[52:58] So it's not really.

[52:59] Maybe they're made out of Hope.

[53:00] Maybe the boat was made out of Hope.

[53:01] It's a very distinctive thing to say about a boat.

[53:02] And actually, that lodge attracts or made out of witches.

[53:05] Like if I was shown a boat, my first question wouldn't be, does it float?

[53:09] Because I would assume that was part of the first question.

[53:11] Because his first question would be, does it float?

Stuart Wellington

[53:15] Or will it float, I guess.

[53:17] So they end up getting stranded.

[53:19] It's David, Georgia, Lily, and Gede.

[53:22] They get stranded in the jungle.

[53:24] And they realize that they're going to have to spend the night out there camping.

[53:29] Which seems a little extreme, but everybody's kind of okay with it.

[53:32] I mean.

[53:33] They are very quickly talking about killing a pig.

[53:36] Yes.

[53:36] And butchering it.

Dan McCoy

[53:37] The guys go out and hunt this pig.

[53:40] And I got to say that I honestly sort of think this movie is better at a romance between Clooney and the groom than between Clooney and Julia Roberts.

[53:50] That's a good point.

[53:51] I get a sense of how he warms up to this guy over time in a way that I don't really understand why they get back together at the end of the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[53:58] And also, you can tell the actor playing Gede really wants George Clooney to like him.

[54:03] Yeah.

[54:04] Like, even when he's like disappointed in him, there's still this feeling of like, but we're cool, right?

[54:07] Like, George Clooney, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[54:09] So I think, to be honest.

[54:11] And George Clooney's like, if we're cool, we're cool.

[54:13] That's fine.

[54:14] Don't worry about it.

Elliott Kalan

[54:14] If this movie was, nothing against Julia Roberts, but if this movie was George Clooney and his prospective son-in-law out in the jungle bonding while they get lost, like, that could be a really funny movie.

[54:25] Yeah.

[54:26] So while they're hunting the pig-

[54:28] And maybe they fall in love, and he breaks up the wedding by marrying the groom.

[54:31] That's sad, though.

[54:32] While they're hunting a pig-

[54:34] It's okay.

[54:34] His daughter is terrible.

Stuart Wellington

[54:35] Oh, okay.

[54:36] In this version of the movie, yeah.

[54:38] Lily is searching for matches in her mom's bag, and she finds the stolen rings.

[54:44] Uh-oh.

[54:44] So we have a big dust-

[54:45] Oh, Chekhov's stolen rings.

Elliott Kalan

[54:48] Chekhov's cut banana.

Stuart Wellington

[54:49] Everyone kind of airs their concerns and fears, all their grievances.

[54:53] And at the end of the day, it just kind of brings everybody closer.

[54:58] The next morning-

Elliott Kalan

[54:59] Well, I mean, the fact is that, yeah, they're talking out-

[55:01] Yeah, they're talking out the problems a little bit.

[55:03] Yeah.

[55:03] Yeah, that's good.

Stuart Wellington

[55:04] Instead of hiding it.

[55:04] That's a healthy way to deal with things instead of lying about everything.

Elliott Kalan

[55:07] Instead of stealing, cutting bananas in weird, unnatural ways that Dan does not approve of.

Stuart Wellington

[55:13] I just don't agree with using magic.

[55:15] That's, yeah.

[55:16] Because when you use magic, there's a cost.

[55:19] And in this case, it burned up some of her goodwill with her daughter.

Dan McCoy

[55:22] Yeah, yeah.

[55:23] Okay.

[55:23] By the way, here's a little teaser for the guys who don't know anything about it yet.

[55:29] But I'll say it now for you and the listeners.

[55:33] If you like me talking passionately about magic, you're going to want to watch that streaming

[55:38] show that we did for the Bell House.

[55:40] Anyway.

Elliott Kalan

[55:41] Moving on.

[55:41] The movie Magic starring Anthony Hopkins as a ventriloquist.

[55:44] We'll see.

[55:45] Magic Mike, et cetera.

[55:48] Okay.

[55:49] So the next morning-

[55:49] I hate to interrupt you more, but the idea that magic has a cost that like Julie Roberts

[55:53] is like, to steal those rings, I'm going to have to fake that I cut a banana inside the peel.

[55:57] It's going to take three days off the end of my life.

[55:59] But you know what?

[56:00] All magic has a cost and I've got to pay it.

[56:02] Yeah, the bill's going to come eventually.

Stuart Wellington

[56:04] Yeah.

[56:05] Okay.

[56:05] So the next morning, David is watching the sunrise and he reveals to Georgia that he never sold

[56:13] the land that he had attempted to build their dream house on.

[56:16] And then they exchange a little kiss before realizing, no, this isn't for us.

[56:22] Also at this point, I'm like, there's still 30 minutes in this movie?

[56:26] So they end up not getting together.

[56:27] Yeah.

[56:27] The rest is just one very long sex scene between George Clooney and Julie Roberts.

[56:31] 30 minutes long.

[56:32] I mean, that's a decent scene.

[56:35] Like, I'd pay 10 bucks for that PPV.

[56:38] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[56:38] I mean, it would make it instantly one of the most successful movies ever made.

[56:41] Yeah.

[56:43] Just a blue is the warmest color style.

[56:45] I mean, very extreme sex scene.

[56:47] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[56:47] There's so little sex in movies these days.

[56:50] That would be interesting if we just chose one a year that had all of the sex.

[56:53] Like, this one's going in.

Elliott Kalan

[56:55] Like the purge of sex scenes?

[56:56] Here's the thing, Dan.

[56:57] Here's the thing, Dan.

[56:58] There's plenty of access to sex videos.

[57:01] I don't understand what you're saying.

[57:02] It's not the same fucking thing, Dan.

[57:04] I guess it's not true.

[57:05] That's a dumb argument.

[57:06] Not the same, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[57:07] Yeah, the argument that pornography is available, so we shouldn't show any chemistry or sex in movies.

Elliott Kalan

[57:12] Well, that's not what I'm saying.

Stuart Wellington

[57:14] No, I know.

[57:14] I'm just, I'm putting words in your mouth.

[57:17] When normally words come out of your mouth at a rapid speed.

[57:20] That's much some would say.

Dan McCoy

[57:21] Yeah, that's why Stuart's trying to put some of them back in.

Elliott Kalan

[57:24] He's trying to show extra words in to close the mouth, to keep it blocked up so that more words can't come out.

Dan McCoy

[57:29] He's worried that like when Ant-Man gets big, you know, like there's so much energy expended.

[57:35] You got to eat once you come back down to size.

[57:37] Yeah, that makes sense.

[57:38] Sure, sure, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[57:39] It's not some sort of Deep Horizon junk shot where he's just trying to fill my mouth with crap words.

[57:43] Yeah.

[57:44] Stop the spill.

Stuart Wellington

[57:46] So they end up back at the resort.

[57:48] Lily puts her foot down that she is getting married and her parents are either on it, on board, or not.

[57:54] Paul again tries to propose to Georgia and he does the old classic bit where he stands up too fast from being on his knees and he bangs his head into her nose.

[58:06] This is the kind of thing that does happen a lot.

[58:07] Luckily, it doesn't cause any lasting damage.

Elliott Kalan

[58:09] When you're in a relationship where you spend a lot of time physically close to someone, you do end up bumping into them a bunch.

Stuart Wellington

[58:15] And then David tips the –

[58:17] Thank you for that public service.

Elliott Kalan

[58:19] I just want to say this is something that – this is a realistic touch in the movie that every now and then, every now and then, you might bump into somebody that you're close to.

Stuart Wellington

[58:26] Yeah.

[58:26] So I don't know how –

[58:28] Meanwhile, David is swimming in the pool fully clothed and he tips the bellhop with a wet bill, which I'm like –

[58:35] In Indonesia, do they – like maybe I was just assuming that they had like similar bills to like Australia or New Zealand.

[58:41] That's that like plasticky stuff that doesn't get wet and soggy.

Elliott Kalan

[58:45] Again, don't know enough about Indonesian currency.

Stuart Wellington

[58:47] Okay.

[58:48] So they all –

Elliott Kalan

[58:49] So let's file that under the possibly a goof.

Stuart Wellington

[58:51] Yeah.

[58:52] Possibly a goof.

[58:53] Yep.

Elliott Kalan

[58:54] Write it up.

[58:54] It's a new –

[58:54] New section.

Stuart Wellington

[58:55] Not very popular section of IMDb.

[58:58] Although actually, I feel like it would be super popular because people –

[59:02] Almost anything could go in there.

Elliott Kalan

[59:03] Well, that's on SMDB, Schrodinger's Movie Database, where it could be a goof or it could not be a goof.

[59:08] Until we find out, we won't know for sure.

[59:10] Yeah.

[59:11] So everybody gets over there –

[59:12] As opposed to SNMDB, which is a different –

[59:14] Different Database.

[59:16] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[59:17] Yeah.

[59:17] But equally –

Elliott Kalan

[59:18] Smiles and mouths.

[59:21] Very much more popular, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[59:23] So they get –

[59:24] Everybody gets over their bullshit in time to see Lily and Gete get married.

[59:29] The ceremony is very colorful, and there is no mischief at all.

[59:34] Gete even gives David a chance to object, and he doesn't.

[59:37] He turns it into a way to puff everybody up.

[59:40] But then what does Lily pull?

[59:42] She does –

[59:43] I don't fucking remember.

[59:43] She does pull a fake out where she says –

[59:45] What happens?

[59:45] She's not going to do it.

Elliott Kalan

[59:46] He's about to stab a handkerchief with a knife to seal the marriage, and she goes, wait.

[59:53] And everyone stops, and he gets this look on his face like, oh, no.

[59:56] The groom does.

[59:56] And she goes, just kidding.

[59:58] And if I was the groom, I would have been like, this wedding is off.

[1:00:01] Goodbye.

[1:00:01] I love you, but I cannot handle that.

[1:00:03] You know how vulnerable I am right now.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:05] There's been too much mischief already.

[1:00:07] Yeah.

[1:00:07] Okay.

[1:00:08] So everybody's happy.

[1:00:09] Georgia says no to Paul, who takes it okay, actually.

[1:00:14] David and Georgia board the ferry back to the airport, and they reconnect, and they're like,

[1:00:20] you know what?

[1:00:21] Let's just stay in Bali.

[1:00:22] And then they jump off the boat.

[1:00:24] Jump off the boat.

[1:00:25] End of movie.

[1:00:25] They jump off the ferry.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:26] They decide to stay in Bali, which is good because the rage virus is all over the rest of the

[1:00:30] It's rough.

[1:00:30] By this point, it's spread.

[1:00:31] Raging like a Cajun.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:33] Yeah.

[1:00:33] And this is when you – I always realize how rich these characters are because it's not

[1:00:37] just that they stay at this very fancy hotel, but they're like, you know what?

[1:00:40] Let's just do it.

[1:00:41] And they jump off the boat, not worrying that their phones will get wet because who cares?

[1:00:45] They'll just buy another phone.

[1:00:47] I don't know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:47] They're old.

[1:00:48] Maybe they still have like flip phones.

[1:00:50] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:50] And they're going to like arrange for like I guess all of their stuff to be moved to them

[1:00:55] there rather than going home first.

[1:00:58] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:58] They'll just have it packed up and they'll instantly buy a house in Bali.

[1:01:01] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:01] I mean, he's – like George Clooney is just going to get a job at like a beach bar, and

[1:01:06] you know what?

[1:01:06] He would be fucking incredible at that.

[1:01:08] He would be great at that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:09] And they don't show the moment when Lily and Getty are like, wait, but we're about to

[1:01:14] have our honeymoon here.

[1:01:15] Why are your parents still sticking around?

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:18] That's part two.

[1:01:19] Ticket to Paradise 2.

[1:01:20] I will say –

[1:01:21] Ticket to Paradise.

[1:01:22] Ticket to – yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:23] Number two.

[1:01:24] I do think it is the power of movie stars.

[1:01:26] Or Ticket to Paradise.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:28] Ticket to – and then it would be Ticket to Paradise 3 instead of the E.

[1:01:32] Ticket to Paradise is the first one.

[1:01:35] Or the second one rather.

[1:01:36] Sorry, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:37] No, I just – I think it does show the power of movie stars that like this ending where

[1:01:43] they're like sort of like tentatively like holding hands in the boat and seeing like if

[1:01:47] they're ready to like – like I found it moving.

[1:01:49] It's great.

[1:01:50] Very great.

[1:01:50] That's a great moment for them.

[1:01:52] Yeah.

[1:01:52] But it's also like me like as a man who is now middle-aged like tearing up at the idea

[1:01:58] of like new directions in your life, new starts, like all that, like having like a shot, you

[1:02:05] know, like changing your life.

[1:02:07] Like not that I'm unhappy right now, but I've been through life changes.

[1:02:13] Like I'm bringing a lot to that that the movie isn't bringing.

[1:02:17] It's like me plus like the star power and the rest of the film.

[1:02:22] Is this like the time when you –

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:23] I just got a text from old Parker.

[1:02:25] He says, no, that was his plan all along.

[1:02:28] Oh, okay.

[1:02:28] Sorry.

[1:02:28] You're reading text and that's –

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:29] Dan, is this like the time when you saw your reflection in a snow-covered hill with

[1:02:33] a landslide coming down?

Dan McCoy

[1:02:35] Yeah.

[1:02:36] It's exactly like that.

[1:02:37] No, but I mean, you know, it's – I mean, I felt genuinely moved and then they jumped

[1:02:42] off the boat and I'm like, oh, come on.

[1:02:44] Are they going to do it this way?

[1:02:45] Oh, it broke the spell.

[1:02:46] It broke the spell.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:47] Well, well, well, it's me, old Parker.

[1:02:49] I'm calling in now.

[1:02:51] Dan, I wanted to end the movie with them holding hands and then, of course, a big, the end.

[1:02:58] Like the old way we used to do it in the old ways, but they said they wanted him to jump

[1:03:01] off a boat and I said, well, you're the bosses.

[1:03:04] I'm just the director.

[1:03:05] I'm not in charge.

[1:03:05] The studio head's in charge and he could blacklist me in a moment.

[1:03:09] So, by saying I'm a communist, so I'll just do what he says and keep my – keep old

[1:03:14] Parker making movies.

[1:03:15] Don't you have – I thought you insisted on final cut for this one.

[1:03:18] Oh, well, no.

[1:03:19] I insist on final cut for all the bananas that I eat.

[1:03:22] I want to cut them inside the bill, but not too soon because they turn pretty brown.

[1:03:26] You don't want to eat a banana that's too rotten, you know.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:28] I wanted to end our freeze frame that said, David and whatever Julia Roberts' character's

[1:03:33] name is will return in Tookit to Paradise.

[1:03:37] In Tookit to Paradise 3.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:39] That's right.

[1:03:39] The sequel will be both the second and the third movie in the series.

[1:03:42] That's part of the innovations we're trying to bring to this franchise.

[1:03:46] And then, of course, we do the fourth one, which is called Fork It to Paradise slash 56

[1:03:51] Days Later, which is 28 Days Later times two, and we'll finally combine these movies in the

[1:03:56] shared universe that they're in.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:58] So, Stuart, I don't know if you're aware of this, but the movie also ended with some bloopers.

[1:04:03] I turned it off immediately.

[1:04:05] I wanted to say about the bloopers that for a romantic comedy that is both light on the

[1:04:11] rom and the calm, there are certain takes in the bloopers that I'm like, why was it like

[1:04:16] that's a funnier take?

[1:04:17] Yes.

[1:04:18] Like it's a usable funnier take.

[1:04:19] Why didn't you use that?

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:20] It's a little pointed towards a slightly funnier movie.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:23] Yeah.

[1:04:23] And it seemed like, it was like, I guess if you just let Clooney and Julia Roberts hang

[1:04:28] out, it would probably be charming.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:30] Well, that was like during the press tour, anytime the two of them would be seated in chairs next

[1:04:35] to each other, I'm like, I'll watch this.

[1:04:37] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:37] Yeah.

[1:04:38] Well, speaking of which, let's give our final judgments about whether you should watch this.

[1:04:42] I mean, or not.

[1:04:44] Like even whatever we say, it doesn't have no effect.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:47] I'm glad Danny clarified that this is not a legally binding order.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:51] We will not show up at your home.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:54] Dan's like, what's the point of it anyway?

[1:04:57] We just banged on their door.

[1:04:59] Why the fuck aren't you watching Ticket to Paradise right now?

[1:05:02] You have no excuse.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:03] Final judgments.

[1:05:04] This is a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, a movie you kind of liked.

[1:05:07] I got to say, like, ultimately, I did kind of like it.

[1:05:12] Like, it's the least a movie can be while still being kind of enjoyable.

[1:05:17] Like, to pull back the curtain a bit, I am moving right now.

[1:05:22] So, I was not paying the utmost attention at all points to Ticket to Paradise because I

[1:05:29] had other business that will need to be attended to because tomorrow is literally moving day.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:34] Dan was busy filling crates with straw.

[1:05:37] And then nailing the tops shut.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:39] Yeah.

[1:05:40] And honestly, if you are in a similar situation.

[1:05:43] All of his alien idols.

[1:05:44] This is the ideal kind of movie to watch because you will always know what is going on.

[1:05:49] And every once in a while, you'll look over and you'll see your movie buddies, George and

[1:05:54] Julia, hanging out together.

[1:05:56] And it'll give you a smile.

[1:05:58] And you're like, I bet this vacation was super fun for them.

[1:06:01] Yeah.

[1:06:01] It's just a mild, I mildly liked it.

[1:06:03] I didn't have, I didn't, there's nothing, I didn't feel negatively towards the movie other

[1:06:06] than feeling like it was just sort of bland.

[1:06:09] What do you say, Stuart?

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:10] No, I'm on, I'm kind of on the same boat as you.

[1:06:13] Like it's, it's a very pretty movie to look at.

[1:06:19] It is not, it's not going to challenge you in any way.

[1:06:24] You don't have to think too hard about how you feel about the characters.

[1:06:28] There's not really any twists and or turns.

[1:06:32] Yeah.

[1:06:33] It's, it's basically like a bath of a movie.

[1:06:37] So if you want to take a long bath and watch a movie, take it to paradise.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:42] Yeah.

[1:06:42] It's not a, I can't say it's a movie that I liked, but it also, I feel similarly.

[1:06:46] It's, it's a real, it's, it's a real comfort food, easygoing, sit down and just kind of let

[1:06:53] the movie take it through jungles to beaches type of movie.

[1:06:58] It's not, it's, it's everything you guys say.

[1:07:00] And this was Australia was where this was shot?

[1:07:03] In Australia.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:04] Yeah.

[1:07:04] Okay.

[1:07:04] Time to book my trip.

[1:07:06] Hopefully I'll run into George and Julia since they stuck around, right?

[1:07:09] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:10] I mean, they, they stayed at the end.

[1:07:12] They jumped off that boat.

[1:07:13] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:13] Listeners, give me a list of things I need to do when I go to Queensland.

[1:07:19] Queensland, Australia.

[1:07:21] Queensland, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:22] Well, I'll give you a list of something to do right now.

[1:07:25] And that's microdose.

[1:07:26] You've probably heard about microdosing.

[1:07:28] If not, just know that all sorts of people are microdosing daily to feel healthier and

[1:07:33] perform better.

[1:07:34] And our show today is sponsored by microdose gummies, which deliver perfect entry level doses

[1:07:41] of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good.

[1:07:45] Hey, you know by now that I am a user of this product.

[1:07:50] I find that it is relaxing.

[1:07:52] It's a pleasant way to wind down.

[1:07:58] Sometimes it boosts my creativity.

[1:08:01] I enjoy it for, you know, when I want to relax without feeling so blazed that I can't do anything else.

[1:08:10] If that sounds appealing to you, microdose is available nationwide.

[1:08:14] To learn more about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code FLOP, that's F-L-O-P, to get free shipping and 30% off your first order.

[1:08:24] Links can be found in the show description.

[1:08:26] But again, that is microdose.com, code FLOP.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:30] Hey, in addition to microdose gummies, the show is also sponsored by Squarespace.

[1:08:38] That's right.

[1:08:39] Squarespace is the all-in-one platform for building your brand and growing your business online.

[1:08:44] Stand out with a beautiful website.

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Elliott Kalan

[1:09:38] Hey, we've also got a couple of Jumbotrons.

[1:09:42] Jumbo-tron.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:42] Jumbo-tron.

[1:09:43] Yeah.

[1:09:44] Thank you.

[1:09:44] The first is a promotional Jumbo-tron that comes to us courtesy of Jason Shuppert.

[1:09:49] I think I pronounced his name correctly.

[1:09:50] And it reads like this.

[1:09:51] Billy Crudup.

[1:09:52] Keith Gordon.

[1:09:53] Ray Liotta.

[1:09:54] Radha Mitchell.

[1:09:55] These are just some of the actors who received the deep dive treatment starting with their first film from Jason and Jules and their podcast, We Doing Filmographies.

[1:10:03] Who's next?

[1:10:04] You'll have to tune in every Saturday to find out.

[1:10:06] So, subscribe and listen to We Doing Filmographies everywhere you get your podcast on.

[1:10:11] And be our friend on all the socials.

[1:10:12] Parentheses.

[1:10:13] We're lonely.

[1:10:14] Aw.

[1:10:14] Yeah.

[1:10:15] Go help them out.

[1:10:16] I like that title.

[1:10:18] Yeah.

[1:10:18] We Doing Filmographies.

[1:10:20] And we also have a personal Jumbo-tron.

[1:10:22] This is for Cass.

[1:10:22] And it's from Jeff and Jen.

[1:10:24] And it says, wishing a wonderful 19th birthday to our son, Cass.

[1:10:27] We missed the days when you were home with us watching The Uninvited.

[1:10:30] We're listening to The Peaches.

[1:10:31] But we are glad you are living your best life at college.

[1:10:34] Best of luck in your computer science and Russian cinema classes.

[1:10:37] We hope you find time to found that bad movie club.

[1:10:39] And we love you.

[1:10:41] Oh, that's so sweet.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:42] Wow.

[1:10:42] It sounds like Cass takes after our approach to college.

[1:10:46] Yeah.

[1:10:47] Being super cool.

[1:10:49] That was our approach.

[1:10:51] Yep.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:51] I majored in cool.

S4

[1:10:58] With Max Fun Drive in the books, we'd like to welcome our new members and say thanks to

[1:11:03] everyone who's supported us over the years.

[1:11:05] Welcome.

[1:11:06] Thanks.

[1:11:07] And now, on to the sticker sale.

[1:11:09] A lot of this year's drive gifts and live streams focused on food.

[1:11:12] We love how food can bring communities together, but not everyone has access to the food they

[1:11:17] need.

[1:11:17] So we'll split the proceeds from our sticker sale among five U.S. food banks in areas

[1:11:22] disproportionately affected by poverty.

[1:11:25] The sale ends Friday, April 14th.

[1:11:27] Members at the $10 monthly level and above can purchase any stickers they'd like.

[1:11:32] There's also a special Max Fun sticker featuring Nutsy the Squirrel that all members can purchase.

[1:11:37] For more info, head to MaximumFun.org slash sticker sale.

[1:11:41] And thanks again for your support.

[1:11:43] A man was walking along a beach which represented his life.

S5

[1:11:52] At his feet were two sets of footprints, his and God's.

[1:11:57] But looking back down the beach, the man could see that in the hardest parts of his life,

[1:12:01] there was only one set of footprints.

[1:12:03] So the man said to God, why is there only one set of footprints when times were hard?

[1:12:08] Where were you?

[1:12:10] And God replied, my precious child.

[1:12:13] I was in my car listening to the Beef and Dairy Network podcast.

[1:12:19] The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is a multi-award winning comedy podcast

[1:12:23] and you can find it at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:28] Okay, well now let us move on to letters from listeners.

[1:12:36] And the first letter is from Brian, last name withheld, who writes,

[1:12:41] Blessed.

[1:12:41] Hiya, floppers.

[1:12:42] Oh, wow, Brian.

[1:12:43] Brian, blessed.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:44] Then you got to read it in the cool voice.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:45] Yeah, you got to yell it.

[1:12:46] Got to yell it.

[1:12:47] The recent discussion.

[1:12:50] Sorry.

[1:12:51] Dan, 100% for trying.

[1:12:53] A for effort.

[1:12:55] I'm glad you stopped before you blew out your throat trying to talk like Brian blessed.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:58] The recent discussion of the podcast's repeated discussions of a Goofy movie

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:03] made me think of a scene.

[1:13:06] I was just talking about this the other day.

[1:13:08] I still haven't seen that shit.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:09] Made me think of a scene from the film that always sticks out to my mind.

[1:13:14] Max and his dad Goofy are playing 20 questions in the car.

[1:13:17] Goofy says man or woman.

[1:13:18] Max sighs and says man.

[1:13:20] To which Goofy immediately and correctly guesses Walt Disney.

[1:13:23] This is akin to playing guess who with your dad.

[1:13:26] And his car has the true unknowable name of God on it.

[1:13:29] It truly brings up some horrifying implications.

[1:13:34] My question is, do you have any favorite or least favorite instances of breaking the fourth wall?

[1:13:40] Also, Stu, you should watch a Goofy movie.

[1:13:43] Keep it, boys.

[1:13:44] Brian, last thing with hell.

[1:13:46] Aw, man, he's in the room.

[1:13:47] Gotcha.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:49] Yeah, one of my bartenders yesterday was so angry that I had not seen a Goofy movie.

[1:13:54] And she was just quoting lines from the movie, which was funny because I'm like,

[1:13:58] I couldn't tell if this was real or made up because I haven't seen it yet.

[1:14:02] Yeah.

[1:14:03] It was either a very impressive improv or it was just, it was actual recollection.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:08] I mean, I want fans of the, listeners of the show, please let us know, do you want us to do an episode on the Goofy movie at this point?

[1:14:14] Is it just time for us to, I know you guys like it.

[1:14:17] It's a real touchstone for the generation that's like, what, 10 years younger than us?

[1:14:21] But what's, yeah, Goofy movie.

[1:14:23] Should we do it?

[1:14:23] Let us know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:24] Okay.

[1:14:24] So, least favorite, breaking the fourth wall, all of Deadpool.

[1:14:29] Okay, Dan, what about you?

Dan McCoy

[1:14:31] Oh, do you have a most favorite or are you just choosing to do least favorite?

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:36] I was just starting, I figure we're just, this is like a jam session where we're just going to like,

Dan McCoy

[1:14:40] Yeah, I was going to say that one breaking of the fourth wall that I like is I remember there's one point in Trading Places where the brothers are being very condescending to Eddie Murphy.

[1:14:51] And he just, like, the one example of breaking the fourth wall in the entire movie is him making a face to the audience.

[1:14:59] And it's all the more powerful, just this like, this other, as entirely traditional narrative film.

[1:15:06] Elliot, what do you got?

[1:15:07] Oh, I got a favorite.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:08] I like the bit in the Funny Games remake where something good seems to happen and they're like, nope.

[1:15:19] Rewind.

[1:15:20] Throw it in your face.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:21] They're like, fuck you.

[1:15:22] You wanted a good thing to happen?

[1:15:24] Forget it.

[1:15:25] Haneke, you don't play that way.

[1:15:27] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:28] I have a lot of favorite fourth wall memories, to be honest.

[1:15:32] I feel like that's one of the reasons that Gremlins 2 was such a, like, pivotal movie for me growing up was that it kept pushing the boundaries of what it could do as a movie that exists.

[1:15:44] And then finally when the Gremlins break the film and are just, like, in the theater with you making shadow puppets and enraging Usher Paul Bartel to the point that he goes and gets Hulk Hogan to scare them away.

[1:15:56] Like, that's something that – and then when the movie was on video –

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:58] I do like that Hulk Hogan waited until the Usher got him to get involved.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:02] Yes, because he was enjoying – he was curious whether that was the show or not.

[1:16:04] And that when they released the movie on video, they redid that segment to have it be them changing channels while you're watching the film.

[1:16:11] That was something that really blew my mind as a kid, which I still love.

[1:16:14] That's a fourth wall breaking moment, right?

Dan McCoy

[1:16:15] I just remembered one that I like even more that – in the Muppet movie where they meet the Electric Mayhem and they start explaining what happened, like, their story.

[1:16:24] And they read the screenplay.

[1:16:25] And they're like, oh, you know, like, we can't do that.

[1:16:27] We can't explain what's happened so far to the audience.

[1:16:29] Just have them read the screenplay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:31] Actually, I have another favorite one.

[1:16:33] It's in the game Metal Gear Solid when Psycho Manus starts reading the contents of your memory card.

[1:16:38] And he's like, you like Castlevania, don't you?

[1:16:41] And I'm like, I did play Castlevania.

[1:16:43] This guy is psychic.

[1:16:44] Wow.

[1:16:45] Another one –

[1:16:46] Video games are the new movies.

[1:16:48] Get on board.

[1:16:49] Or if you're left in the dust.

[1:16:51] TV is the new novels.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:52] Video game is the new movies.

[1:16:54] And mime is the new pop song, which is interesting.

[1:16:57] So another one is – this is a movie that has not aged as well for me as Gremlins 2, but the scene in Spaceballs where they need to find the heroes so they get the video of Spaceballs.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:07] And they're watching it, and they go through the part where Dark Helmet gets hurt, and he goes, erase that part.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:11] Never watch that part again.

[1:17:12] Like, that was a joke that I always really liked.

[1:17:15] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:16] Okay.

[1:17:17] Well, the second and final letter is from Eve, spelled in the French manner, with a Y-V-E-S.

[1:17:25] Oh.

[1:17:25] Last name withheld.

[1:17:27] Writes –

[1:17:27] Like Saint Laurent?

[1:17:30] Favorite Warhammer movie.

[1:17:31] Hello, peaches.

[1:17:33] My friends and I –

[1:17:34] This one's for you guys.

[1:17:34] My friends and I like to watch movies that share themes or plot points with Warhammer while we paint our miniatures.

[1:17:41] A good guiding principle is if the movie could be described as, quote, grim dark.

[1:17:47] A term coined in an early Warhammer rulebook describing how, quote, in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war.

[1:17:55] Mm-hmm.

[1:17:55] Yeah.

[1:17:56] I love any time –

[1:17:57] And hammers.

[1:17:58] I love any time that Stuart has an excuse to talk hammy.

[1:18:03] So I figured I would write in to ask each of your favorite movies that share themes with Warhammer.

[1:18:07] A few examples of movies we have watched recently are Adventure Horizon, The Name of the Rose, and Mad God.

[1:18:14] Anyway, I hope that makes it clear enough.

[1:18:16] And if not, I'm sure Stuart can point you in the right direction.

[1:18:19] Love you guys, Eve.

[1:18:21] I'm going to let Stuart point me in the right direction.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:24] Yeah, I mean, there's some obvious ones like Dread or Starship Troopers or let's see.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:33] Would you say would Mandy fall under that category or no?

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:36] Maybe a little.

[1:18:37] That's a little – I mean, I feel like that's a little more psychological than Warhammer stuff generally.

[1:18:43] Oh, maybe.

[1:18:44] Okay.

[1:18:44] Maybe.

[1:18:44] I think there's a little bit there.

[1:18:47] Man, that's tough.

[1:18:48] I feel like a lot of – like a lot of sci-fi movies kind of err on the side of like Grim Dark, and I'm probably fucking forgetting a bunch of good ones.

[1:18:58] Valhalla Rising is a good one.

[1:19:01] That kind of shit.

[1:19:02] What about like Johnny Mnemonic?

[1:19:04] Yeah, maybe.

[1:19:05] It's – again, that's –

[1:19:06] Does he need to be more mnemonic?

[1:19:08] That's a little more cyberpunk-y.

[1:19:11] But yeah, I could see it as like – depending on like if you're painting some stuff that's like from like a Necromunda gang or an Inquisitorial retinue.

[1:19:21] Okay.

[1:19:22] Go on, Dan.

[1:19:22] Perfect sense.

[1:19:23] Or the movie Dragon Slayer, you know, that kind of shit.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:26] Oh, Dragon Slayer.

[1:19:27] A favorite from my childhood.

[1:19:30] Great effects.

[1:19:31] Yeah.

[1:19:31] Great special effects.

[1:19:32] Classic ILM stuff.

[1:19:35] Or like a – you know the movie Conquest?

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:37] The fantasy movie?

[1:19:38] Italian fantasy movie?

[1:19:40] I don't know that one.

[1:19:41] Oh, okay.

[1:19:42] It's a Lucio Fulci fantasy movie.

[1:19:44] I bet that would fall into it.

[1:19:45] That's probably why I don't know it.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:46] What are they conquesting?

[1:19:47] The Planet of the Apes?

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:48] No, just a fantasy world.

[1:19:51] Okay.

[1:19:52] You're thinking of Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, a Grim Dark story.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:55] So it's not like a movie based on the villain from the Invincible comic book that like rips the main character's spine out or something.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:03] No, I don't think so.

[1:20:05] That's a violent comic book, dude.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:08] Yeah, it is.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:09] Okay.

[1:20:09] I don't know why you're mad at me.

[1:20:10] I didn't make it.

[1:20:11] I'm just saying.

[1:20:12] I don't argue about it.

[1:20:12] Let's all stay friends.

[1:20:13] I mean, I have my own violent comics, but you know.

[1:20:16] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:17] Let's move on to recommendations of letters we've loved and lost.

[1:20:23] Your violent comics.

[1:20:24] Your violent comics.

[1:20:24] Recommendations.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:26] Let's look at the letters that we unfortunately lost this year.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:28] In memoriam.

[1:20:31] The letter E.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:33] That's an important letter.

[1:20:34] I know.

[1:20:35] That would be a big thing if that letter died.

[1:20:37] One of the...

[1:20:37] It's very personal to me.

[1:20:39] I use that letter every day.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:40] And will the mainstream media cover his death?

[1:20:43] No.

[1:20:44] No.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:44] Well, not the way...

[1:20:45] Not how it happened anyway.

[1:20:46] It stands for entertainment, right?

[1:20:48] Mm-hmm.

[1:20:48] Well, only if there's an exclamation point afterwards and it's on a mic cube at a red carpet premiere.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:53] Only if Charles is in front of it and cheese is behind it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:00] So you're saying the restaurant is called Charles E. Cheese?

[1:21:03] Yeah.

[1:21:03] That's what Entourage is all about.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:05] So, sorry.

[1:21:07] Let's recommend movies that we've seen and liked.

[1:21:10] Like I said...

[1:21:11] Oh, movies.

[1:21:12] I've been...

[1:21:13] Movies.

[1:21:14] ...busy with a lot of movie preparation.

[1:21:17] You've been too busy with moving for movies.

[1:21:20] Moving.

[1:21:20] Sorry.

[1:21:21] Jesus.

[1:21:21] My brain is falling apart.

[1:21:22] I'm sure Dan has seen 10 more movies than L.A. has.

[1:21:25] We recorded two in a row and I'm in the middle of moving.

[1:21:28] My brain is moving.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:29] Dan's like, I'm moving right now, so I was only able to go to the theaters twice every day.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:33] We had Max Fun Drive moving.

[1:21:37] I got sick.

[1:21:38] What else?

[1:21:39] Sick and I watching movies.

[1:21:40] Prepping for the live show.

[1:21:41] Like a lot of stuff was going on.

[1:21:43] But we did actually go out to the theater.

[1:21:47] Audrey was kind enough to see that I needed a break and been like, why don't we go see John

[1:21:51] Wick 4?

[1:21:52] She's like, let's just go see a four-hour movie?

[1:21:56] Well, we saw it at like nine in the night.

[1:21:58] We were not going to be doing anything else at that point.

[1:22:02] So, yeah.

[1:22:03] We went and saw John Wick 4.

[1:22:04] No big surprise.

[1:22:05] Everyone's already said it's good.

[1:22:08] It's not...

[1:22:09] I'm not recommending some...

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:11] Yeah.

[1:22:11] What's your hot take on John Wick 4, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[1:22:13] My hot take is, hey, look, if you put care into stunt work and you don't chop it all up and

[1:22:23] you shoot it real nice, it's a good movie.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:26] Dan, I'm going to see it in a couple of days.

[1:22:29] But can you break it to me?

[1:22:33] How is Scott Adkins in a fat suit?

[1:22:36] Amazing.

[1:22:36] Okay.

[1:22:37] Amazing.

[1:22:38] I really think that John Wick 4 feels kind of like the Fury Road of shoot-em-up movies.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:46] Oh, high praise.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:47] More than the movie shoot-em-up.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:48] It's one of the greatest movies ever made.

[1:22:51] That's a very high phrase.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:52] I mean, it's not quite to that level, but it has the same sort of consistent relentlessness

[1:22:57] and meticulous attention to the action and just beautiful looking.

[1:23:03] It's very good.

[1:23:04] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:06] Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

[1:23:07] I'm going to recommend a movie that also received a fair amount of accolades, at least

[1:23:10] when it was first released.

[1:23:12] But I re-watched it, and it also features one of the leads of this movie.

[1:23:16] I'm going to recommend the movie Michael Clayton, starring George Clooney, and also featuring

[1:23:21] a number of great performances.

[1:23:23] Sidney Pollack is great in it.

[1:23:24] And also, my girl Tilda Swinton.

[1:23:27] She's so good.

[1:23:28] Your favorite.

[1:23:28] In like super normcore Tilda Swinton.

[1:23:31] It's amazing.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:32] It's amazing.

[1:23:32] Like to see her playing that, yeah, that normcore character and to be doing it so like powerfully.

[1:23:39] She's so good.

[1:23:40] I'll just think about it sometimes, that performance.

[1:23:42] And I'm like, what an amazing performance that was.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:43] And Clooney, watching that movie, I was also like, how old was Clooney here?

[1:23:48] And he's not much older than I am.

[1:23:50] Timeless.

[1:23:51] And there's something about it.

[1:23:53] Like, I'm a sucker for movies where you have a protagonist who is very skilled at something,

[1:23:59] but also very bad at other things.

[1:24:03] Like somebody who is good at-

[1:24:04] So Spider-Man.

[1:24:05] Well, Spider-Man or like, I mean, the one I always lean into is like Jack Aubrey from

[1:24:09] the Master and Commander books.

[1:24:10] Like somebody who is very talented at one specific area of their life, but a lot of the rest of

[1:24:15] their life, they're a total fuck up.

[1:24:17] And George Clooney's character, Michael Clayton is a little bit like that.

[1:24:21] Like he is a lawyer.

[1:24:23] He is very powerful, but also that power is controlled within the firm he's in.

[1:24:27] And his personal life is kind of a mess.

[1:24:30] And he is brought in to fix an issue within his firm.

[1:24:33] That problem being Tom Wilkinson.

[1:24:37] And yeah, it's a movie that like watching it again, I'm like, this is an adult movie.

[1:24:42] This is like a movie for grownups.

[1:24:46] Because it's not like, it's not particularly flashy.

[1:24:48] You have to pay attention.

[1:24:49] There's a lot of little nuance and details.

[1:24:51] And the performances are incredible.

[1:24:54] And it just, I think it just dropped on HBO Max.

[1:24:56] So go check out Michael Clayton.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:59] Yeah, that's another great movie.

[1:25:01] I'm going to recommend a kind of lesser.

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:02] And it was directed by the guy who wrote the screenplay for The Cutting Edge.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:08] Interesting.

[1:25:08] The Cutting Edge is a movie that had a big impression on me when I saw it in the theaters as a kid.

[1:25:13] Because it was the first time I had ever seen a movie with a non-conclusive ending.

[1:25:18] Oh.

[1:25:19] Where it was left up to you, the audience, to decide whether or not they were going to win this medal or competition or whatever.

[1:25:24] Anyway, I'm going to recommend a movie that's a little bit of a smaller movie.

[1:25:27] It's a movie from 1989.

[1:25:28] It's an independent film called Chameleon Street.

[1:25:31] Written by, directed by, and starring Wendell B. Harris Jr.

[1:25:35] And it is based on the true story of a con artist from Detroit who, in a, it's similar in some ways to a harder edged, catch me if you can.

[1:25:44] He was a con artist who would, he pretended to be a doctor for some time, for a certain amount of time.

[1:25:49] He pretended to be, I think, a lawyer at one point.

[1:25:52] He faked a kidnapping to try to get some ransom money, or faked an extortion, not kidnapping.

[1:25:58] Faked a blackmail type scenario.

[1:26:01] And basically the movie is presenting, and he was also black, and the movie is presenting this character as someone who is finding that it is easier for him to take on fake roles and fool the white world around him into thinking he's something he's not than it is for him to succeed through the normal channels.

[1:26:21] But some of that might be because he is afraid of admitting he might fail if that happens.

[1:26:27] And so it's a really, like, I felt like thorough portrait of this very out-of-the-ordinary character.

[1:26:34] But it's also a pretty funny movie.

[1:26:35] By the end of the movie, it starts getting a little disturbing because the character is kind of pushing what he's capable of doing in terms of fooling people.

[1:26:44] But at times it's really funny, and Wendell B. Harris, who made the whole movie and starred in it, is super charismatic and fun to watch.

[1:26:51] So that's what I'm recommending, Chameleon Street.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:54] Sorry, I just have to jump back a second to Stewart.

[1:26:58] To Stewart.

[1:26:59] He's checking my receipts.

[1:27:01] Well, I confirmed that by the writer of The Cutting Edge, Stewart was talking about who I thought he was talking about, Tony Gilroy.

[1:27:07] More notably right now is known for being the person behind Andor, let's say, right in the zeitgeist.

[1:27:14] But many, many other major pictures.

[1:27:17] And wasn't he also the man behind The Cutting Edge?

[1:27:19] I'm not putting down The Cutting Edge, which is a wonderful film, but it's a funny way to refer to him.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:23] And didn't he also write – oh, no, it's Dan Gilroy who wrote Real Steel.

[1:27:26] Never mind.

[1:27:27] That was Dan Gilroy, his brother.

[1:27:29] There's no reason you can't say I'm the man behind The Cutting Edge.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:32] But I'm still correct.

[1:27:33] No, you are.

[1:27:34] Look, I love The Cutting Edge.

[1:27:35] I have a lot of affection for The Cutting Edge.

[1:27:37] It's just a funny way to rank him.

[1:27:41] It's like when people say –

[1:27:43] That's known for The Cutting Edge.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:44] People talk about – when people talk about Martin Scorsese and I go, oh, yeah, the director of Boxcar Bertha.

[1:27:50] Everyone knows what I'm talking about.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:51] Well, it's like how – Audrey had like cable for a very specific part of her childhood.

[1:27:57] And so when she hears Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson, she doesn't think white men can't jump.

[1:28:02] It's all money train, baby.

[1:28:04] Money train, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:05] And she made you watch Money Train, right?

Dan McCoy

[1:28:08] Yeah.

[1:28:08] That is a confusing movie.

[1:28:10] That's a movie that does not know what it's about.

[1:28:12] It has like three plots and they all –

[1:28:14] I assumed it would be about –

[1:28:14] One kind of like wraps up 30 minutes before the end of the movie and you're like, oh, I thought that was going to be a bigger thing.

[1:28:20] But there's a train full of money, right?

[1:28:22] There is a money train.

[1:28:23] So on that level, it's –

[1:28:24] Technically correct.

[1:28:26] Yeah.

[1:28:26] The best kind of correct.

[1:28:29] As Hermes Conrad – no, it's the other guy, the head bureaucrat in Futurama says.

[1:28:35] Anyway, hey, this was fun.

[1:28:38] But now it's done.

[1:28:39] Yeah, I had a good time.

[1:28:40] So in a way, it was a lesson that all things are transitory.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:45] Thank you, Dan.

[1:28:45] You really did achieve enlightenment recently.

[1:28:47] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:48] Life can't just be peaks.

[1:28:49] There must be valleys.

[1:28:50] Yeah, ups and downs.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:52] Hidden valleys.

[1:28:53] And Hidden Valley ranches.

[1:28:54] One of the ups is going to be coming up pretty soon here on the 22nd when we debut the stream from our live show, which you should totally tune in.

[1:29:06] It's our first time.

[1:29:06] It's going to look super professional.

[1:29:08] You're going to be blown away.

[1:29:09] You're like, who are these movie stars?

[1:29:11] Those movie stars are us, just regular Joe Schmoes.

[1:29:13] Yeah.

[1:29:14] I mean, I'm not a Joe Schmoe.

[1:29:15] It's not Giorgio Clooney and Giuliano Roberts.

[1:29:16] It's us.

[1:29:17] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:29:17] I'm honestly really excited for this presentation that I put together for this one.

[1:29:21] And I hope that I'm not, you know, talking it up and it will turn out that by the time we recorded this, it was a big failure.

[1:29:31] But I'm really excited about it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:33] You said it's about magic.

[1:29:34] So I can only assume it's about like your hunt for a fucking like a white lotus or some other like Lord of the Pit or some other rare Magic the Gathering card.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:43] Yeah, exactly.

[1:29:43] Something he really needs that's really rare.

[1:29:45] But then he just ended up with what, a prodigal sorcerer?

[1:29:48] It's like, all right.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:48] Yeah, who cares?

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:49] Yeah, ding him for one hit point, sure.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:51] Yeah, yeah.

[1:29:52] Might as well just get a land for that.

[1:29:54] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:55] But that's the Flophouse, April 22nd.

[1:29:57] Do you want tickets for it?

[1:29:58] Do you want a chance to get a VIP ticket where you get to talk to us directly?

[1:30:02] Then go to flophousepodcast.com slash stream.

[1:30:06] Flophousepodcast.com slash stream.

[1:30:08] Tickets are available now.

[1:30:10] And during the show, you get a chance to get some of the exclusive merchandise.

[1:30:14] Some of my, maybe my favorite merchandise we've ever seen done for the Flophouse.

[1:30:17] This is going to be a real professional show.

[1:30:19] Yeah, watch.

[1:30:20] The video is just a total crap show of us falling over and things like that.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:24] As long as we're talking about stuff in the future, unless something dramatic happens and we have to change plans, the next episode will also be a rom-com.

[1:30:34] And we'll have Hallie Haglund back on.

[1:30:36] What?

[1:30:36] Everyone's favorite, certainly my wife's favorite member of the Flophouse family, Hallie, will return.

[1:30:41] Don't worry.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:42] As we were recording, I received an email in which she was trying to make plans for that day with me and some other people.

[1:30:47] And I reminded her, no, no, you have plans for that day already.

[1:30:50] Oh, okay.

[1:30:50] So don't worry.

[1:30:51] She'll be there.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:52] Okay.

[1:30:53] Thank you.

[1:30:54] But yeah, this has been great.

[1:30:56] For the Flophouse, well, I'll thank Alex Smith, I guess, before I say for the Flophouse.

[1:31:00] I'll thank our producer, editor, sound guy.

[1:31:03] He writes music for us sometimes.

[1:31:05] He's really quite a talented man, Alex Smith.

[1:31:08] Yeah.

[1:31:08] You can find him on the socials at Howell Doughty.

[1:31:11] Thank you to Maximum Fun, our network.

[1:31:13] Go to MaximumFun.org for other great shows.

[1:31:17] But for the Flophouse, I have been Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:19] I've been Stuart, ticket stew paradise, Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:24] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:31:25] Saying again, go to flophousepodcast.com slash stream and also saying thank you to everybody

[1:31:30] who pledged to support us during MaxFunDrive.

[1:31:32] We really appreciate it.

[1:31:34] It is incredibly important to us and just makes us feel good in many ways.

[1:31:38] Not the least is that now we can pay our bills too.

[1:31:40] That's a good way to feel good.

[1:31:41] So thank you, everybody.

[1:31:43] I've been Elliot Kalin of the Flophouse.

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:46] Bye.

[1:31:52] Yeah.

[1:31:53] You want cool people to like you.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:54] I get it.

[1:31:55] Yeah.

[1:31:55] It's a basic human need.

[1:31:56] It goes back to the caveman.

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:58] Mm-hmm.

[1:31:59] And that one caveman with sunglasses.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:01] That was the first invention before fire in the wheel with sunglasses.

[1:32:06] He goes, hmm, Og's future's so bright.

[1:32:08] Og needs shades.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:09] Wow.

[1:32:10] Gary Larson's like, I can't believe these dickheads are stealing my bits.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:14] Hey, he gave it up.

[1:32:15] He walked away from the game, man.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:17] Yeah.

[1:32:18] We want to make a cartoon about a cow.

[1:32:20] That's our prerogative.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:22] I will say, maybe it's because I read them so many times that I remember all of them and the surprise is gone.

[1:32:27] But I was doing some joke writing research and I was like, I'd love to get some Farside stuff in here.

[1:32:32] And I'm rereading Farside comics and I'm like, these are not quite as funny to me as they once were.

[1:32:36] And I wonder why that is.

[1:32:37] Maybe it's just because that kind of off-kilter thing is so prevalent now.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:42] I don't know.

[1:32:42] Maybe Gary Larson just needs the right project pitch to him.

[1:32:45] Like maybe, I feel like he'd be a great penciler for like a Punisher book.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:50] I would love to see.

[1:32:51] I mean, Evan Dorkin did a Predator series at one point.

[1:32:54] I mean, that's.

[1:32:54] Yeah.

[1:32:56] He's great.

[1:32:56] We're talking talented artists here.

[1:32:58] I'd love to see Gary Larson do a Punisher book.

[1:33:01] Yeah.

[1:33:02] The Punisher is just constantly blowing away women with beehive hairdos.

[1:33:06] Yeah.

[1:33:09] MaximumFun.org.

S4

[1:33:10] Comedy and culture.

S6

[1:33:12] Artist owned.

[1:33:13] Audience supported.

Episode #393 - Ticket to Paradise

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